#sometimes i hit a point where i have to explain the spirit medium stuff

[cowboysmp3]

i love how like nobody really talks about the possessions in ace attorney. spirit mediums and possession and lowkey magic just exists in ace attorney and nobody talks about it. there’s LOTS people make posts about that detail the craziest things abt ace attorney and nobody is like oh yah spirit mediums and possession is like a huge part of the game series btw

[transgenderknothead]

Home- Chapter One- Nothing and Everything

Next... Chapters

I had never felt anything, no pain, no temperature, no emotions, no pressure, nothing. I lived in a world of nothing. Maybe it was a subconscious thing, because I had never had a real family, sure my foster parents were great, but I never met my biological mother, or my father. Mama had always told me that they found me in their backyard, Pops had always said I was left on their doorstep. But my foster brother, Michael, had said that I was carried down in a basket by an unkindness of ravens. He said he watched it happen and went to get his parents to take me in. When I was 18 I moved into my own apartment, mostly due to the fact the neighbors thought I was freaky and would question my foster parents why they kept a purple eyed freak like me, but Mama had always responded with the same phrase. “Do not question the mother of a special little girl, she will know who she is when the time comes.” Mama was a well known psychic where we lived, sometimes people would even come over from neighboring states to get readings. “Stop teaching the children all of that bah humbug!” Pops would always say. I always thought it was fun to hear her words of prophecy. The prophecy that stuck out the most was the prophecy of the girl in the strange place. ‘Yearly winds blowing strong in the Strange Place Werewolves, Warlock, Pixies, and Monsters None compare to the spirit To the girl To the creature Who will save them all…’ It was different from all of her other prophecies, this one had nothing to do with our world. Pops once again never believed in this stuff, and Michael had no interest. But every time I heard it something about it seemed familiar, maybe it was hearing it over and over. But recently I had found out that wasn’t exactly the case… Let me explain, my name is Elle Honeytwig, I was never your average girl, I was always described as a freak or a monster. Now I am seen as a hero and a creature of hope. Which probably requires more explanation. I’ll start from my 19th birthday. I had woken up with the sun in my face, I hadn’t lived with my foster family in a year, but I knew they would probably be coming with a gift of some sort, so I decided to make breakfast for them. By the time I was done cooking there had been a knock on the door. It swung open to reveal my foster family in all their glory. Mama hadn’t aged a day, Pops on the other hand had looked like Michael had become a slight problem since I left. “Happy birthday!” Michael smiled at me, and I immediately understood why Pops looked so irritated and stressed. “Another one?” I looked at Michael. “Shut it,” he lisped through his missing tooth. “Not my fault you're a shark.” I monotoned. “Not my fault Charlie swung too hard and hit my face!” He sassed. “Michael,” Mama warned. We sat and ate, talking about this and that, I couldn’t think, something seemed off, Mama seemed to know it was going to happen. “Honey, could you go get her gift from the car? I have to talk to her,” She asked Pops. He nodded and left, leaving me alone with Michael and Mama. “What do we need to talk about?” “Who you are and where you're from,” Michale knew something, a shiver ran through my spine, a new sensation I had never felt. “Mama?” another new sensation, confusion, “What are you talking about?” “When Michael had told you about the birds, he was right,” she explained, “I saw the birds too.” “So?” I was too focused on what she was saying to be concerned about the new sensations. “You have to find The Strange Place,” Mama leaned back just as Pops came back in with a folded blanket in his hands. He smiled and unfolded it, revealing a realistic owl sitting on a tree branch on it. It was the size of a baby blanket and the only non realistic part was the fact the owl was pink. “It was in your basket when we found you, the note told us not to give it to you until you were 19, so here we are,” Pops explained. “Thank you,” I took the blanket, it looked so real, I could’ve sworn it winked at me. After a few short you’re welcome they had to go. “Well I’m sorry to leave you on your birthday, but I

have an out of state reading to get to,” Mama kissed my forehead. “It’s fine,” I murmured, “prefer to be alone anyway.” “Don’t stay inside all day,” Pops reminded me. “I’ll try!” About ten minutes after they left, everything came crashing down all at once, years of not feeling anything, and suddenly I felt everything from the past 19 years. All of the pain, emotions, everything. I cried for about two hours before everything had subsided, and I was almost numb again, except for a headache caused by crying. I look over at the blanket and notice that the pink owl is gone, leaving a dark sky and a bright moon behind a tree. “What?” I picked it up and something felt different, not necessarily good or bad, just different. I looked closer, and noticed that the blanket’s pattern was definitely moving. The moon was setting and the owl landed on the branch again. Looking out the window I noticed it was getting dark. I concluded that the moving picture wasn’t possible, it was just hysteria and sleep deprivation, so I went to bed. I hadn’t even realised I had passed out until I heard voices. “Shh, you’ll wake her,” a soft female voice spoke. “Are you sure it’s her?” A deep male voice followed. “She’s holding the blanket,” the female pointed out again. “Ow,” I sat up slowly holding my head. I looked at the two, a tall man in a hat was looking at me, waiting to see what I would do. Meanwhile, a shorter girl with orange wings looked between him and me expectantly. “I’m Morningflame, Molly Morningflame,” the girl held out her hand. “Elle Honeytwig,” I shook it, looking at the man again, his eyes too blue to be human. “This is Alaster Void,” Molly introduced him after it became apparent he wouldn’t. We sat in silence a few more minutes in silence before Molly flew off to get us all some tea. I couldn’t place why, but for some reason, this all felt normal, like I had lived with this magic all my life. “So you’re her,” Alaster spoke, it was more of a statement than a question. “What do you mean?” “The savior of the strange place,” the prophecy rang through my ears. “Me?” “You have the blanket,” he pointed at it, “the one with the mother owl on it.” I looked at the blanket, the pink owl was still missing. I glanced back up at him, he clearly expected me to know all of this. “How long have I been here?” “A couple of days,” Molly came back into the room. I had been unconscious for a couple of days! “What?” “Honestly,” Alaster was clearly exasperated. “Alaster,” Molly grabbed his arm, “she’s only been here a couple of days, and she was unconscious in that time. You cannot expect her to know everything!” “The medium should have taught her all of this,” He countered. “I think I remember a couple of things Mama told me when I was real young," I murmur, "a prophecy." Suddenly all I could remember was the prophecy. "Yearly winds blowing strong in the Strange Place, Werewolves, Warlock, Pixies, and Monsters, None compare to the spirit, To the girl, To the creature, Who will save them all…" I spoke. "The one to unite nations in battle, the child of the feared, and the one who carries the blanket." Alaster finished, I had always felt something missing. "I think we found our girl," Molly fluttered her wings happily.

[goconstructionleads]

Free Construction Leads For The Taking

I beginning late explained the massiveness of being happy to pay for leads, in any case if your spending plan fundamentally won't permit it right now you should comprehend that there are approaches to manage get free improvement leads. Such comes down to utilizing your imaginative mind, making your own chances, and being restless to contribute a touch of your time. Truly try to consider some new possibilities and you will concoct some striking contemplation's for getting no-cost leads. Here are a couple to kick you off: 

1. Start a blog. Right when you hear the word 'blogger' you may consider authoritative issues or redirection yet it's a medium that has gotten powerfully significant for financial specialists any place on over the world. It's certainly not difficult to fire up a free blog at blogger.com and you can be up and making surprisingly fast.  

2. Collecting a free site. On the off chance that you don't have a site for your affiliation yet, by then what the hell would you say you are keeping it together for? A reliably growing number of individuals are utilizing the web to discover close by temporary authorities and association pros and it's protected to communicate that the Yellow Pages will be dead inside five to ten years. You can without a truly astounding stretch structure a free site with no html information by utilizing Google Sites. You would then have the alternative to utilize your web address in the aggregate of your free online profiles like the Google Business Center or Yahoo Local. Additionally try to have a spot on your site where individuals can give you their email address. You can get a tremendous proportion of these by promising to give uncommon cutoff focuses and plans to their inbox. By then you have a monstrous, free once-over of potential clients that you can attack with deals messages at whatever point you have to. On the off chance that you find that you get a kick out of causing your site by then proposition to assemble allowed to or straightforwardness regions for other non-battling lawfully restricting pros in your city and basically put a relationship on every one that fixations back to your site. 

3. Relationship on Google Plus, Facebook, Twitter, and other online media protests. These objections are not, presently simply the domain of young people and understudies – they are free displaying stages essentially clutching be mauled for your great position. Set up accounts with a comparable number of them as you can stay aware of (utilizing your affiliation name as the title) and truly attempt to place some essentialness in it. Make accomplice records, present huge data relating on your business, and give broken proposals to your quick overview. You'll discover loads of different relationship in your city who are doing in like way and couldn't imagine anything better than to orchestrate with you and work on commonly beneficial affiliations and lead trading.

 4. Get free postings with online help suggestion protests like Angie's List, Merchant Circle, and Super Pages. Ask clients who were content with your work to sign onto these regions and put in a few incredible words about your affiliation. Such online awards will go miles in sending you one free progression lead after another that is unquestionably not difficult to change over into paying positions. 

5. Make DIY or illuminating narratives for YouTube and close by interface access stations. On the off chance that you can make a short and messing about related video and post it on YouTube you may very well be floored how much near to presentation it can get you. In the occasion that you're fortunate it could stream around the web and inside seven days you could have your business name, number, and web address before truly unlimited individuals (an amazing piece of them near to who could utilize your association). Free business construction leads for brief experts are simply staying by to be found on the web – you fundamentally need to go for at any rate a lot of online brand introduction on comparative number of various stages as could be typical. You could in like way make some short and useful accounts about home improvement and submit them to your nearby association access station. Sometimes they'll put them broadcasting dynamically to expend the space, and it's every now and again free. 

6. Make and deal with a nearby relationship of association authorities. Set up a site called "Supervisor Service Professionals of (your city here) Club". All individuals from the club would consent to get the message out basically the various individuals' associations to their clients. So Plumber Joe would essentially send painting prompts Painter Bob and the converse path around. It would be totally free for people. This is an awesome strategy to use each other's improvement for ordinary piece of breathing space. 

7. Get to your neighborhood TV stations on snow days and requesting that they review your business for the ticker outline of shut relationship at the base of the TV screen, regardless of whether you don't have workers or whether you plan on being open notwithstanding. Why? Since you just got your business name before about a tremendous section of a million people futile, that is the clarification. You can achieve something generally equivalent to for radio broadcasts. It's hard to tell the amount of free improvement potential customers you can move away from this strategy. This current one's outskirts moral in any case I surrender it to you whether you'd need to add it to your best stuff. 

8. Structure an article for or requesting to be met by your neighborhood association paper. Association paper editors are conventionally really unhinged for charming stories and content, and they'd likely be open to scattering the article you just explained upgrading and the significance of keeping wakeful with the latest. Unmistakably around the fulfillment of the article would be your name, number, and web address for all in the association to see (futile, plainly). Or on the other hand on the off chance that you have a spellbinding story to light up or your business is as for accomplish such an achievement try to get them to pass on an essayist and picture taker. Who knows, in the occasion that you're fortunate you may very well hit the essential page in the next week's transformation!

 9. Have a turn by they way you work your business that will draw neighborhood media thought. For instance, you could begin a redesigning business that is stated and worked solely by ladies. Or then again obviously you could work out a plan framework where you manufacture new augmentations as a final product of vehicles, vessels, or different vehicles instead of money. Or then again obviously you could get known as the headway relationship around that solitary volunteers military veterans. You get the point. Have a catch. Have a story. Be unique. In a short time enough a TV or paper author will find a few solutions concerning it and choose to utilize you story on a moderate news day. Only one notice on the chamber or in the paper and you'll certainly be swimming in free headway work leads. 

10. Give free DIY classes and workshops at your business condition once consistently. You've certainly seen that Home Depot offers free DIY classes constantly, in any case they're not simply doing it because of the liberality of their spirits. They comprehend that by a wide margin a large portion of the individuals in those classes will by then go for a walk through the store and buy all the crucial materials on the spot. A relative thought could work for your association business. On the off chance that you have a private improvement affiliation you could offer Saturday classes on everything from painting to tiling to drywall, the thought being that the vast majority of them would rapidly understand that they have neither the well being nor the craving to take on their home redoing undertakings. Plainly there you'd be, starting late standing arranged to offer your associations for select. 

11. Contribute your abilities to superb missions and watch the free progression offer leads move in. There are dependably openings accessible to offer your opportunity to fair motivation. You could help hoard a house for Habitat for Humanity, you could offer a few hours seven days of free work to seniors at your gathering, or you could help make the set for your neighborhood association theater. Such things dependably offer you the opportunity to move your business and get your name out there, regardless of whether it be in a printed release or just through easygoing. Individuals will survey you and your acts of kindness at whatever point they need their storm cellar changed or deck re- amassed.

 12. Contact neighborhood real estate agents and let them comprehend that you'd like the chance to support their customers. Right when you set up a relationship with one real estate professional inside an affiliation it can regularly incite work with others in an equivalent firm.

[inkyjaguar]

Extra Story of ROTL

(This takes place right after they have the talk about quadrants)

Aradia drifted back to her tent after Karkat telling them that they were moving camp. It seemed like such a trivial thing. They were going to get caught anyway and would be killed for their crimes against the abominable royalbloods. That sounded nice and peaceful. The medium world was one she knew well and would have fun being among the dead. Why was being dead so much better than being alive?

Something hit her back and she ran forward a few steps from the momentum. “Oh! I’m sorry Aradia!” She turned slowly to see one of the new girls. The one who had something against Kanaya. The bronze blood swatted invisible dust off her shoulders in an apologetic way. “I was thinking to myself and hadn’t noticed I was getting that close to you! Are you okay?” Aradia should say something, but did she feel like it? No. She didn’t have any energy to say something rude or empathetic to Jade. Instead, she turned on her heel and floated the rest of the way to her tent. At some point in her life, she might’ve had something to say to that bronze blood. When did her life turn into a monotone book? “Um, alright. See you tomorrow Aradia!”

Why say goodbye? With their luck, they might die in their sleep and not have to see each other again. They should be wishing each other happy deaths. What would one say to another to convey that phrase? That was too straining to think about.

Aradia found her tent and slipped inside. Nepeta sat in the dark; scribbling furiously into her book. It was a different book from the one she took notes from the meetings. This one was colorful and Nepeta never let her see it. Why did she need two separate books? Why was this one more colorful? She’d admit that sometimes she’d get this urge to dig into Nepeta’s stuff and look through everything, but that urge usually disappeared after a moment of sitting.

“It has a great dynamic!” Nepeta hissed as she picked up brown, green and jade pencils. “I wouldn’t have expected it! Oh, this is going to be lovely!”

“But what if it’s not?” Aradia’s curiosity spoke up. Nepeta looked up sharply from her book and clutched it closer to her chest. Aradia had never interrupted Nepeta’s muttering sessions before. Even she didn’t know why she had done it. Her curiosity had peaked up and spoken before it died away like the rest. Still, she waited for an answer as Nepeta stared at her in surprise and suspicion.

“Well, it could go bad,” Nepeta muttered reluctantly and peaked down at her book. She sighed. “This is something that could go bad very fast. I’ll have to keep a close eye on it. Maybe, stoke it a little bit? But then that’s intervention and it’s not natural!” Nepeta returned to ignoring Aradia. Perfectly fine. This dynamic has gone on for years between them. It was almost unspoken. Aradia would provide Nepeta with company while she muttered to herself without looking insane.

She slipped out of her shoes and prepped her bed. It was going to be a boring journey tonight. She knew her birth village inside and out and so the ghosts would not be as interesting as the other places they’ve gone. They also won’t be as friendly as the others one as well. Still, she couldn’t really stop herself from going into the medium world while she slept. Aradia settled on her back and stared at the darkness of her eyelids. She wasn’t going to force it to happen like she did at the village, it’d happen on its own.

Nepeta’s muttering started to warble as if underwater. The smell of rosemary tickled her nose and she could hear the everyday happenings of her birth city. She stayed where she was though. She wasn’t going to waste energy on something that was going to happen. Every pore in her body pricked up and felt herself diving head first into the rabbit hole. The seams sprang apart easily and the smell of rosemary slid down her throat and filled up her lungs like water. Everything compressed in on her as if the hole was getting smaller and then it opened up as her head was dragged from her body and into the tent. The tent walls were blueish grey and Nepeta shined a golden light. It was pretty blinding honestly and so Aradia drifted through the tent wall altogether.

Golden Karkat stood by the fire, making the blue flames die out before he would go off to bed. He was boring to follow to though. She wanted to explore the woods around them. See if anything was interesting or new. She floated away from the campsite and into the grey woods, on the lookout for spirits to converse with.

After just out of the light of their camp, a golden light caught her eye. She froze where she stood and turned to face the golden light. It quickly disappeared behind a tree. Someone had followed them from the village. Karkat was right. Oh, she hated it when he was right! Still, she had people to defend! She should hurry back to her body and tell everyone! Wait, they could be getting themselves into an ambush. She should investigate and then go back to tell everyone so they could make a plan.

She silently drifted over to the place where the light had been. Wait, why was she sneaking? They couldn’t see her at all. She was pretty much dead at this. Straightening up, she drifted through the tree that the golden light had hidden behind. The light was gone. No one stood behind it. Where did they go? She turned around and caught a glimpse of purple light in the far distance.

Was someone else out here? Two people? She drifted as fast as she could after the purple light. Maybe she was being stupid and it would actually be people from her own camp. That would be some relief, but also a huge waste of her time! She could actually get lost out here! And if she wasn’t back to her body by the time she was supposed to wake up with the others, they’d all worry over her and make a big mess of things.

The purple light popped out ahead of her and she saw a bit of gold as well. So, there were two people and they were in cahoots! The lights stopped moving and she drifted through another tree to see who it was. A single man shined both with purple and gold lights. It was split perfectly down the middle but the purple light was weak and didn’t shine as brightly. His back as to her as he stared out at her camp.

That was weird. She only knew one person who could shine with both lights. It couldn’t seriously be- “Sollux?” She asked. Why had she called out? If he was alive, he wouldn’t be able to hear-

The man turned around to face her and it was him! Sollux! He stood there! Alive! He was so handsome! And he was here! “Sollux!” She yelled and flew at him; wanting to wrap her arms around him!

She realized that she wouldn’t be able to hug him properly because she was a ghost. Halfway to him, she fell back and her arms dropped. Sollux narrowed his eyes at her. “Why did you thop?”

“I can’t touch you. I’m a ghost right now, Sollux,” she replied but started to drift closer again. He remembered who she was?

“Well, I couldn’t thee ghoth before dying tho let’th thee if I can-” he ran over to her and picked up her ghost form around the waist before twirling her around in a hug. She gasped at the sensation. He didn’t feel like a human would but like a ghost would. It was crazy and she amazing! He was back! She laughed as she spun and wrapped her arms around his head to hold on to him. He laughed too. He put her down on her floating her and she smiled up at him.

“How can you see me? Wait, you said that you died?” She frowned.

“Wow, AA. Can’t we jutht focuth on uth right now? I haven’t theen you in forever. I mithed you.” He admitted quietly with his arms still tucked around her waist. He missed her? He was admitting that he missed her? He had been the one thing that kept her going through the whole Equius thing. He had been the first thing she had cried about in her emotion ridden body. Sollux had been her hope and he was here. She grabbed his face excitedly and kissed his forehead.

“I-” she kissed his nose, “-missed-” she pecked his lips, “-you-” she kissed his lips harder than she liked, “-too.” She gasped out before kissing his lips again.

He kissed back and she couldn’t help but smile under his kisses. “Can you thop thiling? I’m trying to make up for all the dayth I haven’t been able to kith you.” He sounded a little bit grumpy but she laughed despite what he said.

“I’m too happy! I haven’t seen you! You’re here! I could just,” she grinned, “die right now.” He rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead.

“You and your thupid punth. I might juth keel over and die again tho I won’t have to hear them.”

“Okay, explain that,” she poked his cheek. “You died?”

He shrugged. “Duh. I wouldn’t have thayed away from you for that long juth becauth of a mithin.”

“Why haven’t I seen your ghost then?” He squinted his eyes in concentration.

“Well, becauth I went to Prothit.”

“Prospit? I thought you were a Derse dreamer?”

“I am, AA,” he settled his hand on hers that clung onto his cheek and he leaned in her hand with closed eyes. “I have two dream thelth. One that ith Derth and the other ith Prothit. I had been dreaming in my Derth one but when I died, my thoul went to Prothit and I couldn’t leave the dream world. I even tried to find your dream thelf, but you weren’t anywhere on thoth planetth.”

Aradia shook her head. That was… weird to know. She hoped that maybe one day someone would wake up her dream self and then she wouldn’t be dragged to the medium world every night.

“Okay, so you were just lost up there? With no one to talk to?” She asked. Sollux nodded into her hand and turned to kiss her palm.

“Yeah. The Prothpithanth are really thupid. They didn’t know what wath going on with me either. I juth wandered around there, thinking about you.” He kissed her knuckles and she smiled a bit. He thought about her every moment like she did him? That still didn’t explain something though.

“How are you here then?” She asked quietly. He gave her hand little kisses that made her giggle a bit.

“Thomeone found me. Thee told me that you guyth were going to need me again. That I wathn’t done. Thee cath a thell on me and I woke up in my body in a cave thomewhere.” He stopped kissing her hand and looked up at her. “Do you know how I got in that cave?” She shook her head.

“I had no idea you had even died. You just stopped showing up at the door. I didn’t know what to think. I even put out a reward for information about you. You have a sign up in the post office, you know.” He grinned at her and kissed her wrist lightly.

“You thought a normal perthon would be able to find me?” His kisses slid up her arm until he wasn’t even fully putting his lips on her arm; gliding up her arm. She shrugged her shoulders.

“I had to do something to find you. You were gone for so long and Equius-”

“Equiuth?” Sollux mumbled at her shoulder and nipped at her shoulder with his teeth. She nodded her head.

“Yes. Equius has made me his matesprite.”

“Well,” Sollux whispered against her neck. “I’m going to have to show him that you’re mine. How do you think I should do that?”

She lifted his chin up to her face and raised her eyebrows laughingly. “By doing what you were wanting to do to my actual body. Not this ghost form.”

“Can you thneak out of your tent and meet me here again? Thith will be the only time I can interact with you before you guyth move.”

“Will you not be able to follow us?” she asked worryingly.

He shook his head. “No, I will be able to follow you guyth. It will look thuthpithith if you vithit me every night. We have to play it thafe. You only get to thee me onth a week. No one can know I’m alive. I’ll be your guardian angel.”

She smiled and leaned her forehead against his. “I don’t know if my body will be as reactive as you hope. I’m pretty dead there too.”

“You are right though. I want to do thomething with all of you. Your thirit can visit me whenever you want but your body can’t. Pleath, AA?” He asked. She laughed breathily and nodded.

“I’ll be back. Just, wait for me a little bit longer, my love.” She pulled away from him but he quickly kissed her hand.

“I’ll wait in the thky, my love.”

[eternityofmeaningfulthings]

Edibles. 0/10 recommend.

So I had edibles for the first time last night. Honestly, I didn't think it would affect me. I wasn't bothered by smoking the very few times I tried so I was like what the heck? what could it do? So I had a small bit of this god damn cookie that Bridget had. It's a long story. BUT this isn't about the leading up to, this is the fact that it happened and what it was like.

I don't want to forget this experience, it was absolutely life changing; and absolutely frightening in every way possible.

The first half hour it was nothing. I thought, "yeah, just as I thought, it won't effect me." So we (Andie, Jaret, and I) ended up going to Wendy's, (and thank God, now that I think of it, like if we would've went all the way to some place downtown and then had to get taken back from there, nah.) But yeah I was fine the whole time and once we got there I was like "I think I'm feeling it", cause I felt slightly laugh-y and my head was tingly (this was as far as smoking ever took me.) The kind of "high" that I could have written off as just in my head. Now, it is important to note that I am an extremely 'in tune with my body' type of person. I literally feel outside of what my body experiences sometimes. It is almost like I am an observer of what my body is going through (no, I am not high right now.) I am also a very logical and skeptical person. I try to explain things away and understand psychology. I do not have a degree, but I do know a fair amount about psychology to atleast know certain brain cues or that people can actually give themselves a placebo effect, which I was at this point thinking that it may have been. I thought that's all it would be, I did not think I was capable of feeling anything beyond my control. (ha..ha..ha.) So luckily I didn't get a lot of food, I just had a medium fry and a drink. It wasn't until after the meal I started feeling "off". I can't quite explain that exact moment. It was probably similar to when you have severe anxiety about a specific thing and then start overthinking it and it's all just in your head. So I began thinking, at first, that the reason I was feeling this way was simply because I was overthinking it. But then it just kept hitting my harder and harder every second and it was all so very sudden. Everytime I looked around it was like I was so dizzy but everytime I stayed still it almost made me zone out. Yes, I was laughing more than usual, but I think the reason for this and also the reason for high people to say "weird stuff," isn't because it literally MAKES them weird, it just cuts out the middle ground FILTER, that makes us "normal". I wasn't saying anything that I didn't CHOOSE to say, but rather everything that came to my mind kind of just came out, and there was no question of whether or not something was funny. It's almost like I was completely focused yet completely out of it AT THE SAME TIME. I want so hard to explain the feeling in the best way possible for the sake of science. To me, this wasn't fun, it was an experiment that I don't regret but want to use it for good somehow. At that point I was afraid to move. The only thing that made me feel like things might be okay was me clasping onto my chair way too hard and staying put. I called my husband Chris because he was the only person I wanted to see, he makes me feel safe and I didn't want anything to happen to me without him around. I also didn't want to be taken home and just suprise him like that. So I called him and asked him to pick me up, and he was like "can you not get a ride?" I'm like "can you get me?" He's like "yeah." "I can get a ride." "Are you sure?" "No can you pick me up now..? ... Actually we can leave now." "I'm just gonna get you." "Okay yeah can you?"

A few minutes later I call him back because it seems like it's been awhile and he said he was parked at the KFC next door and I was like "can you come in?" Like I thought for sure he would have to pick me up and carry me out. But, it was okay. We sat there for awhile, Andie explained to him what happened and I tried explaining how I felt. It was so strange because everyone kept doing the thing where they would look at each other and laugh like "haha she's so high." But I KNEW what I was saying and although I was watching myself act weird, I couldn't control it. I tried so hard to grasp it and take control over it, but it was so powerful that I couldn't overpower it. 

Through this whole thing, I was AWARE of what was happening to me. I felt separate from it, which made it even scarier. There was a time I was talking and closed my eyes for a second and it was like I was in a tunnel and everything was reverberating every second felt like minutes and every minute felt like an hour. Every little thing I said seemed fake and like I was in a movie, watching someone say a line from the movie and then having remembered that line and having it replay in my mind until the next line.  Eventually Jaret and Andie left and me and Chris walked out, slowly, but I did it.

I was afraid to be in the car because I figured moving would make it worse. My biggest fear in life in general is throwing up. So the whole time I was just so afraid that that would happen. But luckily it didn't. What's strange about all this too is that I fully remember everything about that night. I thought I would forget everything, like I wasn't in my right mind, but I WAS in my right mind, my body and, yes, my brain, wasn't cooperating fully. When we got to the apartment and sat there in the car for a second I remember looking at the radio and watching the seconds of the song counting and thinking to myself, "this is it." I said to Chris, "I think I'm actually dying. I think I'm going now, this is it. I'm actually fading away." Because as scary as it sounds, IT DID FEEL LIKE THAT. And then I started saying "am I already dead? Maybe I died in a car accident and this is all just punishment. Maybe this is what being a spirit is like. Maybe that's why they have such a hard time communicating with spirits in Ghost Adventures because they're so out of touch with the world and they can barely grasp reality." I know it all sounded like I was high, but I would say the same thing now that I am sober. That IS what I wonder, not that I was actually dead, but that maybe that is kind of what it is like to be a spirit (and damn if it is...) I finally got inside, and the weird part is it wasn't that difficult to like move and pee and do things, because it was as if I knew how to do it, I knew what was going on, but then a second later just felt like it faded away and I forgot but then I was reminded every time a new second came. It was like the process of severely forgetting and then remembering that you forgot within every minute. And every thing that happened felt like a memory. For example at one point I was in the bathroom and Chris walked passed the hall and asked if I wanted pizza. Then by the time I got back in the bedroom it felt as if that was a memory from years ago. Laying down was nice but yet so scary. Like I wanted to fall asleep but I also wanted to be aware of what was going on, I also was kind of scared that I wouldn't wake up. I know no one has ever died from marijuana but I began wondering if there was something in those cookies that I wasn't even aware of. I also, though was not actually dying, felt like I was dying. It was what I imagined to be what dying felt like. Just fading in and out until you finally pass. The closest experience that I can compare it to is when you're really tired and you're laying down but still having a conversation and you're like half there but also kind of half dreaming, and you try to keep yourself up and every time you wake up again it's kinda surreal because you know what's going on but you're also kinda in dreamland. And then you say stuff, in response to the person you're talking to and sometimes you don't know if you even made sense or if you said something weird from your dream. That's the closest for sure, but it was like constantly waking, remembering, then forgetting and being out of it just over and over and over and over... I repeated so many times, "if Hell exists, this is it." I kept telling Chris to write stuff down because I didn't want to forget how bad it was. I do think that would be living hell. It was like being trapped in your body and mind. I now kind of wonder, and I wouldn't know, but if that may be what some people with dementia or other mental struggles feels like. It makes me want to be kinder to those who seem "out of it" because maybe in their soul and whatever part of them is "witnessing" they are completely there, they just physically can not come out. And that is terribly sad and hellish. I was so afraid I would wake up and it wouldn't go away. I experience disassociation in regular life, day to day, but this made my disassociation seem like FULL AWARENESS. It was like my worse disassociation moment times 10,000. I kept saying to Chris, "if I had to live like this, I would kill myself." And honestly, I seriously would. When I first got in bed, I opened voice recorder on my phone and I'm going to listen to it now and transcribe what I said. The interesting part, listening back to it, I sound completely there and with it, but in the moment it sounded and felt nothing like that. "So now that I'm recording I already forgot the fact that I said I was gonna do a voice memo before. But yet I remember at the same time. Every second that goes by I forget and remember within the same second. I remember that I already said that, but my brain doesn't remember that it forgot. I don't even know how to process my words. Like, I'm hearing myself say it, but the more I talk, the more out of it I feel. It's almost like thought to speech is not filtered at all. And that's why it's so stressful." *looks at Chris* "It probably would be so weird if you fucked me right now. Don't. Nothing feels real at all. I don't remember that I'm doing this -- I know I said this a lot but if I had to live like this I would kill myself. And just to think that people do this and bring this upon themselves- like- I don't think that anyone that hasn't experienced it will ever understand how it feels and like I know that even future me hopefully someday, out of this state, will remember how it feels and never ever ever do it again. I don't even- it's so hard to explain. It's like being in a tunnel, knowing- like I'm conscious enough as a person to know that you're (Chris)experiencing this and you're just living regular life. I just forget what I was trying to say. It's almost like everything that happens I already forget it. This is so fucking weird. I don't know. I'm gonna try to lay down because if I have to be conscious of this any longer- then again I'm afraid to fall asleep because I'm afraid I won't wake up. I feel like this might be what it's like to be dying. Even if I'm not actually dying, it's like, 'hey do you want to feel like you're literally DYING? Eat this shit.' Cause it feels like you're reaching the end, like you can feel your brain going, but your body is struggling to stay alive. It's like my whole body is in shock and doesn't know what's going on. I don't even know what's happening- like at all."

And that's where it ended and where I layed down, got into Chris' arms and started crying because I was so scared. My mouth was also INSANELY dry. I kept turning over to get water and everytime I did that it was so weird. I at one point texted one of my friends who was with me that day and said, "Katie, if hell exists, this is it by far. Like what I feel right now... it's so fucked." "I don't even remember typing all this but yet I like remember I wanted to but I forget I'm doing it." "If I was like this forevver I would legit kill my own shit." I ended up falling asleep and when I woke up at 8 am to pee and realized I felt okay, it was so amazing. The take away from all of that was to for sure never ever do it again. I have been told by many people that it's just because it was my "first time", but I never want to even come close to feeling anything like that ever again. I always told myself that I didn't drink or do drugs because I wanted to remain sober minded and fully conscious, now that is confirmed. I am not the kind of person that wants to escape her mind. I want to be WITH IT, because "it" is all that I have and all that I am. I strongly believe that a world full of people on whatever strain or kind of weed that was is terrifying and I fear for their lives. Firstly, I literally would have killed someone if I would've drove, and if I wasn't stronger of a person, I may have hurt myself. It's very dangerous, not worth it, and I strongly would not recommend. I can not believe people CHOOSE to do that to themselves, and then call it "lit." If there's anything good that came from this, it's that I learned that I truly am a grounded person. I've always felt like the Earth Element resonated with me, and now I feel it even stronger. I feel that through all of that, I was able to remain conscious and aware of what was happening to me, all the while retaining all memory the next day.

[vozpit]

How To Make a Bullshit Ghost Hunting Show

We all know that those ghost hunting shows are bullshit, right? Oh, you don't know... Hmmmmm. Well, maybe I can convince you that they are. In fact, maybe I can teach you how to fool others, just like every one of those shows does & make some money doing it to others. 16 simple rules you can use to "Make Your Own Bullshit Ghost Hunting Show".

1. Always shoot at night, in the dark, with night-vision cameras. The main thing you want to do when creating a ghost show is to scare people. Sure, you can hide behind the guise that you're doing it for scientific reasons to prove the existence of ghosts. But you know damn well the watchers are just looking to be scared. And how scary is it to shoot during daylight? So be sure to tell your audience that they say ghosts are more active during night time hours & in total darkness. This will give you the excuse of shooting in the dark with night-vision cameras, which will give you the spookiness you're looking for. And speaking of the people who tell you that ghosts are more active during night time hours.... 2. Always use "They" as explanations for everything. "They" say ghosts come out in the dark. "They" say an EMF detector can detect ghosts. "They" say you can record ghost voices on tape. "They" say ghosts use our energy to manifest themselves. And so on & so forth. Who are "They"? It can be anyone you want it to be, as long as you're passing along the idea that what you're doing is actually doing something. 3. Interview people before you hunt. Chances are if you interview people at a place that they think is haunted, they will have at least one ghostly experience to tell you about. Interview a bunch of people who live(d)/work(ed) there & you'll be loaded with an arsenal of ideas that you can use during your hunt. Listen to the story of how a woman was beaten & tortured & finally killed in a certain room & later, you'll catch an EVP (electronic voice phenomena) of a woman's voice or scream in the same room. And by catch, I mean fake. Listen to another person tell you of how they felt an unseen entity grab their arm & later, your arm gets "grabbed". So simple. The person you interview may also give you names of people who have died in the place, giving you a name that can magically appear on one of your EVP recordings. This also takes away the task of actually coming up with your own ghost or the embarrassment of coming up with a ghost of a person that never existed. 4. Give suggestions to the people you interview as well. This goes along with #3. While interviewing people, throw out suggestions to them like, "Were you ever hit with a thrown object?" or "Were you ever touched?" This actually gives suggestions to the people you're interviewing to make up stories of experiences, thus giving you more ideas for your "ghosts". 5. "Feel" the ghost's presence. Since the watcher cannot feel any of the energy or temperature changes that supposedly happen during ghost encounters, it's easy to just say you're feeling such things. "Whoah! Right here it's very cold! You know they say that when a ghost manifests, it gets very cold!" Yeah, throw in another "They" to make it sound more official. Well, as official as ghost hunting can be. It's also very simple to give someone a suggestion that an area has gotten cold. Sometimes ghost hunters will use this while interviewing the people mentioned in #3 & #4. I've actually done this myself during a visit to a "haunted" building during a ghost tour. I was in a group of about 20 people in a room, listening to the "psychic" tell us stories of the people who have died in the room & pointing towards a window I was sitting next to telling the room that people have actually seen a face at this window, even though we were on the second floor. After her bullsh...I mean stories, she asked the party to move into the next room. At this point, I started to pass my hand around the chair I was just sitting on. I said, "Wow! It's really cold here!" I pointed at a couple that were sitting on the other side of the window & said, "Feel this! Wow! It's cold!" They came over & started to pass their hands through the air above the chair. "Whoah! It is cold!" they both said. After a few seconds, I said to them. "Actually, I was just kidding. I wanted to show you the power of suggestion. I apologize if I offended you." And they said, "No, it really is cold here! Feel it!" I passed my hand through & there was no coldness. Yet, they felt it. 6. Get "feelings" or even "possessed". This goes along with #5, but instead of feeling a physical change, it's a psychological change. This may be the easiest way to fake a spirit. All it takes is a bit of acting. Walk into a room & suddenly feign a headache coming on. Crouch down & start to feel a great sadness overcome you or have a great anger come over you, causing you to punch the wall. Punching hard enough to draw blood is even better. This proves you weren't acting in your right mind, right? Some hunters will go as far as to become "possessed". This is a little harder & needs a little more studying up on the place you're hunting at & requires better acting skills. British "psychic" Derek Acorah was fairly good at being "possessed". The British "medium" would get possessed by a spirit almost every episode of the show "Most Haunted". And he would have gotten away with it, if not for the meddling show host Yvette Fielding & supposed parapsychologist Ciaran O'Keeffe. See Yvette & Derek started to hate each other. Yvette wanted Derek off the show. So what better way to do it, than to prove Derek a fake. So Ciaran set up the name of a supposed person who died in the place they were going to visit next. The name was "Kreed Kafer" an anagram of "faker Derek". And when Derek was "possessed" by this fake spirit, it sealed his fate & he left the show. This was genius on the part of Fielding, as proving fakes makes her fakes seem real. Which brings us to #7. 7. Sometimes, don't find anything. It's very simple. If you find something all the time, people will think you're faking it. I don't think there's an official ratio as to how many places are to be haunted as opposed to places not haunted. I would say it should be around 6 to 1. For every 6 haunted places, have 1 non-haunted place. This will make the situations where you "find" something seem more plausible. It also gives some validity to your "scientific" equipment. And that brings us to #8. 8. Use equipment not designed for ghost hunting to "prove" the existence of ghosts. EMF detectors are designed to find invisible electro-magnetic fields. Finding these fields is great for finding areas in a household where these fields can interfere with other electronic equipment. Everything gives off electro-magnetic fields. Some stronger than others. And these fields can fluctuate from strong to weak all the time. Nature itself gives off these fields. But explain to the audience that "They" say ghosts give off these fields & that nothing in the area of the place you're at can give off these fields, while holding $3000 worth of electronic equipment. Other pieces of equipment you can use are laser thermometers, because "They" say ghosts can lower temperatures, an infra-red or ultra-violet camera, because "They" say ghosts appear in these waves of the spectrum. Or a thermal camera, because "They" say that ghosts can appear as a different temperature in an area. Usually they appear warmer than the surrounding air. Shhhh, don't tell them they're supposed to be colder. Speaking of equipment... 9. Always use digital recording. The greatest recording medium for ghost hunting is digital. Why? Because it's compressed. Bring some real shitty black & white static cameras & record it on security camera quality recorders & you can catch all sorts of stuff. See, when you're recording in digital you get lovely changing pixels all over your screen, especially in the dark areas, but sometimes even the areas that are too bright. Perfect for ghost recordings. These areas are called artifacts. When using lower quality recordings, digital recorders can't process the darks, as they are called, and fill in these areas with what the processors think should appear there, using surrounding areas as reference. This cause all sorts of wonderful shapes & movements. All of which can be called ghosts, if you want. And if you want to have a successful bullshit ghost hunting show, you do. 10. "Suggest" what EVPs are saying by putting text on your screen. Speaking of recordings, ghost hunters like to use EVPs to prove the existence of ghosts. One show, "Ghost Adventures" relies on EVPs for 99% of their "proof". EVP is short for electronic voice phenomenon. It's the recoding of spirit voices. Back in the 50s, EVPs were believed to just be recordings of energy left behind by the dead. But now a days, EVPs are said to be actual answers by intelligent ghosts responding to questions or situations given to them by the hunters themselves. No matter where you are, if you record sound, there will always be background noises. Whether this be from breathing of the hunter & the crew, creaking from doors or settling of houses, outside animals & traffic, you will always catch noises. So, what do you do when you catch the sound of a creaking door? Flash up on the screen "strange unidentified woman screaming". Catch a heavy sigh of your breath, flash up "demonic breathing". Step on a loose board & it sounds like "Brrreeeeearrrrrrrr", flash up "Burn in Hell". You get the idea. Putting these words up on the screen while playing the noise will suggest to the watcher that the noise is what you say it is. People are easily fooled, use it to your advantage. And if you want to fool them even more... 11. Create your own ghosts. Besides "catching" ghosts by EVP noises & shitty digital recordings, you can also create your own! EVPs can be created on spot by whispering. Whispers cannot be recognized as a specific person, which is why it's perfect to whisper when calling in that ransom call or for creating ghostly EVPs. Hell, you can even whisper without moving your lips, like a ventriloquist. Try it now. See? So what if it doesn't sound exactly like what you're saying? You got the power of text on the screen to tell the audience what they're hearing. As for ghostly images, this may even be done unintentionally. When cameras are set up all over an area, especially ones with infra-red beams shooting all over the place, it's easy for your shadow to appear as a ghostly image. And if all else fails, you can add these things later. After all, the show is not live. It's recorded. It's so easy to be on-site & say, "Did you hear that?" & later on your computer, add a voice saying, "Hey you! Get outta my kitchen!" And speaking of doing a live show... 12. Never do a live show. Most ghost shows make this mistake. Usually on Halloween night, you can catch either "The Ghost Hunters" or "Ghost Adventures" airing a special live show. During these shows, they will always catch something. You know why? Because they're faking it. Now, you would think that having a live show & catching something live would prove what their doing is worth the their time & not wasting yours. But, what usually happens is they usually get caught faking on these shows. Avid skeptics will watch these shows & study it & I'd say more than half the times, catch the hunters fakery. One prime example is the show "Ghost Hunters", which airs on the SCIENCE-FICTION channel. This should be your first tip. But during one of their live shows, the two main hosts were caught setting up a hoax, on camera, where one of the host's jacket would look like it was being pulled backwards by an unseen hand. Later in the episode, a celebrity guest hears the host's earpieces where the show's producer was giving them instructions on their next hoax. The celebrity said he heard a strange voice. Knowing they were caught, the hosts played it off like he wasn't hearing anything, but it was too late. In fact, the TV microphones themselves were sensitive enough to hear the producer's voice through the earpieces. So, while having a live show can be good, it can also backfire. It's best to avoid them all together. 13. Use "psychics" & other Paranormal Investigators. Look, they all know it's bullshit, so they're going to play along with you. You can give them suggestions, just like the people you interviewed earlier & they'll not only go along, they may even give you some suggestions themselves. It's a win-win situation. Also, by having other "experts" along with you, it gives your bullshit a little more validity. 14. Make noises & throw small objects. This is so easy, a caveman can do it. Sorry to remind you of those horrible commercials. When investigating a "haunted" place, it'll be easy to find small rocks all around the crumbling place. Just pick a few up here & there. When it gets too quiet or boring, throw one. Make sure not to film the rock, as that will show it came from you. Just throw it behind you or to the side or hit your friend in the leg. No matter where it lands, it'll make some noise & you can act like it almost hit you or whatever kind of scary nonsense you can make up. Even better, if you can find maybe a 2 by 4 piece of wood & toss it into an adjoining room, it'll make a hell of a lot of noise. Bring lots of fishing line & pull objects over & onto the floor. Whatever can make noise will work best. 15. Play spooky music or weird sounds. This will make any situation seem more haunted than it really is. If you play circus music, no one will be scared (unless it's scary circus music). And nothing will creep people out, more than weird sounds. Some people will even think the sounds are coming from the place itself. 16. Never admit orbs are dust. This is the final step for creating a great bullshit ghost hunting show. Orbs. Orbs are said to be a spirit in ball form. They appear in pictures & on video. They float through the air & move around. They appear & disappear in thin air. And, they're all dust. A ghost hunters best friend is dust. And why shouldn't it be? It can be passed off as a ghost. Once again, digital cameras will help you with orbs as orbs appear mostly with digital photography. Now, here's the trick. Trying to convince your orbs are not dust. You would think it's hard to do this, but it's fairly easy. Just like #7, sometimes don't find anything, you show some orbs, but tell people it's dust. Make up some nonsense explanation that dust moves in a straight line or that it's always visible, then show another film, showing a lone piece of dust & explain how it's movement is different, even though it's the same. Shooting in the dark with night-vision is great too, as the invisible light that the camera gives off, doesn't cover all of the area you're filming. Thus, when a piece of dust comes into that light, from the dark edges or far area of the room, it'll appear as if it manifested from thin air. And when it exits the light, you can say the spirit has just disappeared. Well, I hope this guide helps you. I'm sure if you do create a show, it'll get picked up. Every time you turn around, there's another one on some channel that has nothing to do with ghosts. I think there's even an animal-ghost show on Animal Channel now. Apparently people watch these shows a lot. Hell, I even watch a couple of them for entertainment value only (well, and to write an entry for my blog too). The sad thing is I know that most people watching these shows believe in ghosts. But like I said before, people are easily fooled. Instead of being fooled, be a fooler. There are no such things as psychics, there are no such things as ghost hunters, & there certainly are no such things as ghosts.

[gurguliare]

this is the longest chatlog, catie and emma have to read all of it

Em: poor lin shu all ‘i loaned the book to jingyan but it’s fine he never notices anything - wait SHIT these are VERY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE DESSERT BOXES.’ Gogol: yes Gogol: i love the idea of like Gogol: baby lin shu horrible at observing his own dietary requirements Gogol: consort jing unfortunately has NO CLUE as to the myriad of new dietary requirements he has developed Gogol: since being poisoned. Gogol: just thousands of thrilling intolerances to ignore Em: he doesn’t have a digestive system anymore, he donated it to fei liu Gogol: yes Em: i do genuinely want btw Em: telepathic jingyan fic Gogol: and then there's his allergy to "air colder than room temperature," and "walks"---NO IT'S SO GOOD Em: telepathic jingyan and it doesn’t help Gogol: i meant to compliment you on it did i not. absolute perfection Gogol: i love it presumably because all the thoughts are like. exactly what mei changsu is saying with his mouth, but meaner Gogol: interspersed with occasional comments on jingyan's hair Gogol: it's not that mei changsu is any more conniving or ruthless than lin shu was. he just doesn't swear enough. Em: right literally that Em: lin shu: says exactly what mei changsu says, but adds ‘you stupid fucking water buffalo’ at the end of every third sentence Em: jingyan: i know that i am on the right path, because the spirits of the honoured dead are with me Em: mei changsu: ...right. Em: lin shu’s ghost, presumably: jingyan you’re so lucky you’re pretty

Gogol: ok but so the most important part of this right is lin shu also hearing jing's thoughts and assuming that this is just a sign of his own incredible perspicaciousness Em: oh my god Gogol: lin shu: my powers of extrapolation know no bounds Gogol: jingyan: uh huh Gogol: lin shu: exactly what he WOULD think! Gogol: my vision is eventually just full outloud conversations intermittently in response to thoughts while everyone around them wonders what the fuck is happening Em: oh please can he overhear. jingyan’s tremendous personal shame at feeling attracted to mei changsu. Em: specifically his shame about ‘desiring’ ‘happiness’ Em: yes definitely also this is exactly how they conversed as adolescents Gogol: YES Em: they have always been like this Gogol: THEY'VE HAD THE TELEPATHIC BOND THE ENTIRE TIME NEITHER HAS EVER QUESTIONED IT FOR A /VARIETY/ Of REASONS Gogol: i like the idea then also that it just has like. a forty mile radius limit or something completely physiological and normal Gogol: so then for the twelve intervening years it was just like Gogol: every so often mcs would go on a dumb adventure near the frontier and jingyan would get weird static and assume he was just, like, insane Gogol: which jives completely with the rest of his experience of those twelve years! so nw Em: oh my god Em: no he doesn’t assume he is insane he assumes he is being HAUNTED Em: the ghost of lin shu is yelling at him about flute boats Gogol: --ok Gogol: point Gogol: he would recognize the voice. Gogol: it's not like lin shu was ever on-topic in life. Gogol: this does raise the weird question of whether mcs' internal voice sounds like lin shu or mcs Em: ...I want to say lin shu Gogol: ia and i think the rest of the series bears you out on this lol, not to spoil except you've ALREADY READ ALL MY SPOILER PLAINTS Gogol: his is not a fast-adapting mind Em: on the other hand ‘i have been hearing your voice in my head for twelve years what the fuck’ has a certain charm Gogol: omg. yes. v different fic though Gogol: mcs: gives prepared speech about wading through a river of blood. jingyan, frowning in great concentration: six years ago did you once spend an hour trying to get a cat to let you rub its belly Em: i’m on episode twenty nine and I can already tell that mcs is PAPER thin Em: as a personality Em: lin shu: who are you Em: mcs: i’m you but slower Em: ...I feel like ‘I’m you but slower’ is probably the best characterisation opinion i’m going to have on this show Gogol: it's VERY GOOD. Em: related: jingyan has his suspicions about mcs but changed his mind after they started sleeping together. this man is clearly not lin shu. lin shu never had sex lasting longer than six minutes. Em: he tried but he got bored. Gogol: to be fair mcs falls asleep sometimes but that is because of his illness Gogol: it would be churlish to hold him to blame Em: jingyan is just. very boring in bed. Em: very tender. very sincere. likes prolonged eye contact. Gogol: the thing is i imagine that he and lin shu legitimately had a lot of fun, ill-advised, death-defying sex which doubled as just, like, you know, resilience testing for the product, but i also assume that jingyan has NO IDEA how to dick down an ~invalid Gogol: and is constantly thinking about this Em: asdfghjkl Em: all the time Em: thinking about it Em: which brings me back to Em: their telepathic bond Gogol: FUCK Em: jingyan: please advise me, sir su. Em: mcs: goes ahead and gives him sex advice for the question he was thinking instead of political advice for the thing he said. Em: or, no Em: jingyan comes to believe Em: that the ghost of lin shu is telling him how to bone this invalid Gogol: "i have his blessing!" Em: his detailed and specific blessing and his recommendations for positions and creative use of supportive pillows Gogol: "i can't believe i have his blessing. truly the dead must be incapable of love, or i lost his love through my slowness in seeking justice." Gogol: wait no i don't think jing is THAT dumb but i do feel like he would be a little resentful about "ghost" lin shu pushing him into mcs' arms, whether because he thinks the ghost is a hallucination and just a weaker way of telling himself what he wants to hear OR because lin shu's invasiveness about his love life was always annoying Gogol: anyway, whatever the case, best love triangle. Em: jingyan tenderly making love to mcs in a faintly resentful way because he’s annoyed lin shu insisted on getting involved in his love life is a beautiful image Gogol: YES Gogol: mcs: finally. that's the stuff Gogol: then: ow. turns out he talks big but doesn't actually enjoy his nonexistent biceps being SQUEEZED, what are they, barbarians Em: jingyan to mcs: sometimes i wish xiao shu was less involved in my love life Gogol: mcs presumably a baby about hair-pulling---fjdkslJGL:KSGOD... THE THING IS THIS IS SO. CLOSE TO THEIR. CANON CONVERSATIONS ABOUT "XIAO-SHU" Gogol: we really have just hit on a deeper vein of canon i think Em: I think all I really want is for jingyan to lovingly wrap mcs in a blanket and just. keep wrapping. Em: burrito him good Em: and carry him somewhere nice and quiet Em: and let him do his scream therapy until he tires himself out and goes to sleephappy ending Gogol: i would love for mcs to be nonharmfully sat on Em: unfortunately it’s impossible Em: his bones would snap Em: the ghost of lin shu has warned jingyan about this. mcs must always be on top. but he cannot be expected to do any work. jingyan had better practice his crunches. Em: shut UP xiao shu, says jingyan, out loud. their telepathy is functional over a medium distance. mcs isn’t even in the room. Em: lin shu, half a mile away, glances up from his tea and remarks: ah. prince jingyan feels frustrated just now. i deduced that. Gogol: the one question i then have is. who or what does mcs think "lin shu's ghost" is Em: oh he. doesn’t notice. Em: he’s just talking to jingyan, what about it. Em: ‘but jingyan is behaving strangely’ is he? he seems pretty normal. Em: until of course. jingyan confesses the truth to him. because he’s worried that either he is truly insane, in which case maybe? mcs shouldn’t make him emperor? or! he is perpetually haunted by lin shu telling him to do things! Em: in which case mcs DEFINITELY shouldn’t make him emperor Gogol: oh my god Gogol: fuck Gogol: SORRY JUST THE VISION OF Gogol: jingyan earnestly explaining to mcs that lin shu was his dear friend and could in no way be trusted with a nation Gogol: sure he wasn't capable of TREASON Gogol: but ANYTHING ELSE Em: yes exactly Gogol: anything, sir su. he once hid our baby cousins in an unused oven Em: just now his ghost told me SO WHAT Gogol: IT WAS UNUSED!! Gogol: said his ghost. you see my issue, mr su. Em: sir su, he is a man who even after twelve years of death can not understand why you do not put children in an oven Gogol: he is also extremely narcissistic, as demonstrated by the fact that he keeps responding to questions directed at you Em: and i am incapable of refusing him Gogol: and he is incapable of not exploiting my devotion, as evidenced by the fact that he just yelled, GOOD. Gogol: ....with your mouth. oh! that i would see the day my old friend sank to possessing the living! Em: this is the only au where lin shu sits jingyan down and explains the truth in small simple words Gogol: this is my favorite au.