#sometimes i be relapsing

[sushiisiu]

Umm dooberwatch doodles pic 2 is collab w doodlelyfe ^_^

[where-can-1-run]

"do you want to talk about it?"

no i wanna cut abt it.

[eggsploded]

never posted THIS CLIFFY!!!!!!!!! oops

[introspectivememories]

bear wears this every chance he gets and tim fucking hates it (but his cults anonymous group loves it so ha! suck on that timothy)

[enbyeddiediaz]

Bobby when he finds out buck is attracted to a death doula and Eddie is going on dates with women

[reyolfx]

you know what just absolutely drives me fucking insane about cas's deal with the empty is that if he'd just told sam and dean they would have dealt with it. they've dealt with literally everything else that's ever been thrown at them, they've dealt with apocalypses and satan and the darkness, they've killed death, they beat god. they COULD HAVE gotten him outta his deal, the empty has actually shown itself to be pretty fuckin weak when it comes to what it wants vs what it "should" do so????

it just feels so POINTLESS. they could have figured a way out of the deal and cas coulda lived and he and dean coulda loved each other and they coulda been happy.

ugh. destiel depression has me by the throat right now

[nemotakeit]

hot take? i don't think blurryface is going to be "defeated" by the end of the lore. he might be the villain of the story but at the same time he's a living part of tyler as well. i think they'll win, but not completely eradicate the existence of blurryface. they might suppress him, or learn to peacefully coexist with him, or outgrow his influence or whatever - that's the "managing the tension" part. we also have to keep in mind that tyler is still struggling to some extent with his insecurities and vulnerabilities (though he's gotten much better ofc) and i think that aspect will be reflected in his art.

besides, they've said that some people might not like the ending, which insinuates we won't be getting a perfectly hunky-dory happy ending. i also don't think tyler is the type to give this kind of story a sunshines and rainbows type of closure.

the core message of twenty one pilots, although it has certainly evolved over the years, is that it's fine to be not okay, but you must fight for your survival. i think that the lore ending will leave us with the message that broken as we are, we have to stay alive AND push on through - and before you know it, you'll be in a much better place than when you first started.

[mothmothwoth]

ummmm yeah not to be like this in new year of our lord 2024 but I just remembered how much I loved the dsmp so

While I was warming up these guys just appeared! Because they were my favs,,

Aughhhhhh all I do is be embarrassing on the internet

[luminous-studiess]

it's just before 12 am and i'm working on an affidavit but i loathe it and my eyes are heavy but if u told me 4 yrs ago i'd still be here and i'd make it this far and didn't get kicked out i'd probably laugh at you so yes i'll keep formatting this silly little legal document this in itself is a privilege

[1nferior]

not to be a hater, but is it really a relapse if you never intended to be clean

[whippetcrimes]

We went out to our first ever straight racing meet today. I was intending to just talk to people, check things out, and let Misty observe, but she had an opportunity to do a practice run and we took it! This is right after I caught her and got her off to the side, do you think she loved it??

There is the usual plastic bunny I'm familiar with, but there's also a squeaky stuffed animal that makes noise as it bounces along the ground and. This is a dog who is obsessed with the bunny. This thing had her in full crazy mode. I've never seen her run so intently. She is muzzle trained, because I've been wanting to try this someday, but today was her first time running in it. Muzzle? Forgotten. We'll have to go out again and get more box practice, but she's otherwise good to go!

[elialys]

my favorite dumb plot hole on fringe that they never address remains how they constantly travel back and forth between Boston and New York in about 5 minutes

[elkkiel]

i'm really happy!! i scrolled back on some of my kitty token and like. i'm officially at the point where I'm cringing at my art from a few months ago again!! that might sound sarcastic but i'm 100% serious. stagnating or even losing skill from being burnt out and depressed feels fucking awful. and like without art I genuinely have no fucking clue how to keep on going. but i think i'm getting healthier to the point where i'm finally improving again with little baby steps. so slowly getting those skills back feels unbelievably good

i'm just :') haven't felt hope like this in years, like since i finally found the right mix of meds and didn't want to kill myself every single day lol. life is feeling fucking worth it again baby. nothing to say fuck it to, we are just straight up balling B)

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

sometimes i feel like i hate everyone

[soup-is-here]

Mouthwashing Spoilers

TW: Addiction and Self Harm

I wanna go on about Swansea's final monologue but it's hard to put into words, but I'm gonna try anyways cause it's a short, but strong story about autonomy again. This post ended up significantly longer than I wanted though

It's the autonomy to choose the "less healthy" option because it's appealing to you. It's the moral assignment to normality and stability. An alcoholic is an alcoholic by choice, technically, but do they owe us otherwise? Is it morally reprehensible to enjoy taking LSD at a party? Should we see someone as less than because they relax with a xanax instead of a hot shower? It's not healthy. We know that. We've seen anti-drug ad after ad after ad. But is that the part that's morally wrong, in and of itself? Does enjoying the drugs and chaos make Swansea a worse person?

Like him talking about his entire life and ending it by saying between the "stable" "normal" life and him waking up every morning with a new hangover, he preferred the latter. People always talk about getting clean and fixing their lives and Swansea did it! He did the thing "good men" do! A wife and kids and a trade job and sobriety! He was doing it! He was finally "worth" something!

And he hated it! I mean I don't know if he actually hated/despised it, but he misses his previous life. He misses drugs and partying and living like you might not wake up the next day. He said the thing that changed him was seeing himself dead in a ditch under the bright beam of a streetlight. Now he's looking down the barrel of a gun. And as he looks down it, he looks back. That was his preference. It felt good to be like that. And he wouldn't be here if he stayed there

We always have a narrative about drugs or gambling or sleeping around where a person suddenly realizes that they aren't "doing anything" with their life and becomes stable and it's always played like addiction is a false pleasure. Swansea got to the stability people said would be the real pleasure of life and that just wasn't true for him. One bad paycheck could've been the difference between his stable life and falling apart anyways. His lifestyle was going to kill him someday apparently, yet he's staring down the barrel of a gun at his steady trade job to feed his wife and kids.

I don't know quite how to word it but Swansea is the poster child for rehabilitation. There's this weight to him saying his alcoholic period was the best time of his life. Like it just hits at that pang that makes people wear DARE shirts while smoking weed and post those videos of smoking 100 cigarettes at once. Anti-vaping ads tell you about the damage they do to your body but everyone knows that already. Everyone knows "this is what your brain looks like on drugs." I smoke medical marijuana and it isn't good for my lungs but it's good for my pain. Doing drugs isn't good for me and I know that and that's sorta the point sometimes.

I don't know it's just this weird pang where I know what Swansea means, just not to nearly the same extent. I don't have an addiction so I don't think I could fully understand it. Maybe a better thing I could relate it to for myself is self harm. It's not healthy sure, but who do I owe health? Myself? Other people? And what is healthy? Is it feeling better now? Is it resisting now and feeling worse for it until it stops? What if the coping skills I learn make it worse? What if they make it better? Do I want it to get better? Does Swansea want to get better? What would better feel like to either of us?

Who knows until you try. Swansea got a collared shirt, a mortgage, and a credit card. He got a job and a wife and kids. He got sober. He got healthier, depending on your definition.

But did he feel better? He's looking down a barrel of a gun and he has to decide if he feels better. It doesn't seem like he regrets his new life. He says he wants his kids to be better than him. He wants good things to happen for them. He saw himself as one bad slip away from falling again. I don't think he felt better though. I think he got healthier. He likely would've ended up in the ditch he dreamt about, but we don't know that. We also don't know if that's what he'd prefer. But, we do know he got healthier, depending on your definition.

[hopeworth]

season 11 was peak single dad daryl