#sometimes he's just in the background. watching me. like he used to everywhere we went together

[psychoticwillgraham]

sorry for the triggering post, i'm just. Spiraling rn

[spacejjunk]

the start of a new eddie x reader fic im working on <3 reader x eddie munson, shes just trying to find herself and instead finds herself with a big ol crush on eddie. hope you all enjoy!! cross posted to ao3

mainly fluff, drug use, explicit language, Eddie is a softy

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Sigh. Eddie Munson. Throwing a fit in the cafeteria yet again.

You watch on from your spot at the table across from his, all eyes on Eddie “the freak” Munson, ranting on about something to do with popularity and parties. If your younger friends weren't hanging onto his every word then you probably wouldn't of even paid him any attention, but there's something about him that makes you want to listen as well.

Robin nudges you, breaking you out of your trace.

“Are you okay? You're full on space cadet again.” she whispered, Eddie's rant cooling down in the background.

“Yeah no I'm okay..” you trailed off, your mind everywhere else but here. Wishing you were as brave as Eddie was to stand up to assholes like Jason Carver.

“You know we're all still worried about you after everything.. I just.. I just wanna make sure you're okay..”

Am I okay? After everything me and her went through just a few months ago? Somehow after being kidnapped by the Russians and the absolute batshit revelation that nothing we thought could ever exist actually does exist, she's cool as a cucumber. She's my best friend. I've always admired how much of a badass she is. But God dammit I am so jealous of how she can just compartmentalize everything. I know she's freaked out as well but she's been handling it so much better than me.

Me, I'm a mess. My body hurts all the time. Fighting the Mind Flayer, I broke every bone in my leg. Spent the rest of the summer on bed rest. Just me, my art supplies and some music. I wasn't always alone but trying to do anything fun this summer was impossible. Robin came over every day trying to get me to come outside with her. I just couldn't. I watched people die. This isn't something I could bounce back from. Me and her had so many long nights talking things out, laying in the grass in my backyard, staring at the stars, knowing nothing is ever going to be the same.

And being drugged! There's nothing that's strong enough to get me back to that high. I've been smoking pot like it's going out of style. I've actually contemplated asking Eddie if he has anything stronger…

“Robin, I'm fine.” I spat out. Realizing I probably sounded a little too hateful towards her I turned her way, giving her a little hug and whispering back at her “I'll tell you about it later.” faking a smile I pulled away and thanked the school gods that the bell was ringing.

*************************************

I drive Robin and I home from school every day so as I'm waiting for her near my beat up car the guys ran over to talk a little bit and tell me about the new club they're in, Hellfire.

“It's so BITCHIN! Eddie is so awesome. Dungeons and Dragons is actually way cooler than you would think, maybe you should come watch us play sometime” Dustin is practically screaming at me with excitement. I can't help but laugh.

“We're having a campaign in a few nights, you should come join!!” Mike chimes in.

Ever since summer and the…incident.. the boys have been more than welcoming of you and Robin into their little secret club of the upside-down. It's nice, having a new group of friends since it's basically just been you and Robin since elementary school. Even if you are all trauma bonded from that fateful night.

“Maybe I'll go and just watch… it'll get me out of the house” you said half seriously. Just as the words slip out of your mouth you notice that Munson had creeped into the conversation.

“Oh really? You're gonna come watch us play?” He laughed as he said it.

“I might come to support my boys.. If they're this excited about it then I might as well see what the big deal is” you say, staring down Eddie. He's looking at you. Just staring as well. It's like a game of who is gonna break first. You're observing him, seeing how he's going to react to what you just said. It's like a superpower, being so observant it might kill me one day.

“Alllrighty then! We'll see you there!” He winks at me when he says that. He's so loud when he talks. Takes up the whole room. Im both annoyed with it and admire that about him.

Him and Robin pass each other as he walks away, her giving me that look that says me and her need to have serious girl time. The boys said their hellos to her as well and then were on the way back to my house.

It's not like my parents were ever home so we usually had the house to ourselves. This time it's a two week long business trip to try to promote their new children's book. They thought that when I came home with a shattered leg that a new book would cheer me up.. but I'm not a kid anymore. I'm 18 and my life has just gotten more complicated.

“So she's so so so fucking pretty and she's got the most beautiful red hair and I don't know I just think she's the most wonderful person in the world and I'm so scared to talk to her, what do I even do? How do I even talk to a girl like her? I just-” Robin rambles, I have to cut her off though or her rant will go on the entire time we're in the car, I don't know how she doesn't pass out from lack of oxygen sometimes when she talks.

“Robin!” I scream playfully. “YOU are the most badass woman I know! You are going to march up to Vickie tomorrow and just talk to her! You don't need to go full lesbian detective on her in one conversation but don't be scared! If you're scared, how am I ever going to confidently talk to another cute boy again knowing my best friend turns into a babbling mess when it comes to this?” I punch her arm lightly while finishing up my rant.

“You're right.. I just… I don't know I'm a mess! She makes me a mess!”

You're both laughing as you get into your house. An empty feeling lingering in the air as you walk into the bare home. Or maybe it was just you who felt empty. Running up to your room, Robin trailing behind by just a step, giggling to each other, I took out my secret stash of pot and began rolling up a nice joint for the two of us to share. It was your ritual, coming home with or without Robin, rolling up and climbing out your window to the roof to think and smoke and forget about the day.

“Okay, so what was that all about in the cafeteria earlier?” Robin says between coughs. She's still new at the whole smoking thing so it’s funny to hang out with her while she's stoned.

“I was listening to Munson speak!” I threw my head back and practically yell with fits of laughter between each sentence. “Sometimes I wish I had the confidence that he has to just stand up in front of the whole cafeteria and yell at Jason. Or the confidence that you have every day after everything we’ve been through. I think I've just been struggling so much lately that seeing the strength in everyone else just makes me a bit jealous I guess.”

“Do you have a crush on Eddie Munson?” she asks, giggling

“No!” I protested a little too much “I don't even really know him to have a crush on him. I don't know! I think he's cute and all but…” She cuts me off immediately

“YOU have a crush on Eddie Munson!” She's basically howling with laughter at this point. I don't even know if I have a crush on him. Maybe if I got to know him or talked to him then who knows! I'm in my head but I can feel a hot flush come across my face and she can definitely see it.

“I don’t! I think I do want to talk to him though. Maybe it’ll be good for me right? Instead of just staying home all the time, I think I’m gonna go out to that Hellfire meeting. Watch the boys play. They seem really excited about it so why not?”

“Alright! But I have band practice so I’m not coming with. You’ll have to tell me all about it when it’s over though!”

*******************************

I walked up to the door with the boys in tow, it’s Hellfire Club night and I guess I’m here to watch them play for the night. I think I’m really here because I want to observe Eddie some more. Ever since the other night with Robin, I can’t stop thinking about him. I don’t even really know him either. All I know is from what I’ve heard from other people and what I’ve seen of him already. He’s loud. Obnoxious. Worships Satan maybe? That I don’t really believe. With the way the whole world is about rock music nowadays, he’s probably just a softy in a leather jacket. I probably don’t look that saintly either way. I practically live in my flannel and I listen to the same music as him, I’m just not that open with it.

Walking into the room it’s dark and eerie and I kind of love it. The boys go and take their spots at the table while Eddie sits atop this makeshift throne. The king of Hellfire. I laugh to myself as I take everything in, not noticing that all other eyes are on me. I’m the only girl who’s probably ever set foot into this club so that should be expected. Everyone’s eyes make me uncomfortable except his..

“Welcome! To the Hellfire Club. I will be your host tonight, Eddie Munson!” He says with a bow and this smile that makes my stomach fill with butterflies. Why do I suddenly have feelings? What changed all of a sudden? He continues, “Tonight is a very special campaign.. We have a guest!” He gets up from his throne and comes my way. I tried to take a seat away from the table so that I could just watch them play but I guess that’s not happening anymore. All eyes are back on me. Eddie crouches down and puts his face next to mine from behind. “Boo! Hope we don’t scare you away tonight. Maybe it would be nice to have a pretty girl around here. Make us look a little less, what do they say, satanic? Or maybe you’ll become one of us!” He stands up, “Who knows what could happen on this fateful night!” He wanders back to his seat as he starts the campaign. Mike, Dustin and Lucas looked so ecstatic to be there. It’s like they finally reignited their passion for DnD and they all loved their little ringleader Eddie. I enjoy seeing them happy so I just tried to sit back and watch and enjoy the games.

******************************************

The boys were so close to defeating something named Vecna when the game ended for now. I guess these games last for more than one session? For some reason I was thinking it was like Monopoly. I didn’t know this could last for weeks. Now that I’m invested I have to come back and watch the rest.

“We are so CLOSE!” Dustin and Mike screeched with excitement simultaneously. I’ve noticed that Lucas has been a little distant from the other guys lately, probably has something to do with him joining the basketball team. They’re all basically bouncing out the door. I promised that I’d drive them home after the game so they didn’t have to bike all the way home. It was raining tonight, my leg aching any time the clouds decided to roll in. But I don’t mind doing it for them. Their joy rubs off on me at times.

“Wait up!” Eddie calls towards us. The rest of the group had already left but the boys wanted to talk with him after the game while he cleaned up. “So, what’d you think of the campaign? A little too spooky for you? You coming back?” He said a little too quickly, his eyebrow raising at the question.

“I think I might, I think I’m invested in this whole Vecna thing. Plus I kind of want to see the boys kick your ass in the end” A chorus of “oooo’s” coming from them behind me.

“We’ll just have to see about that then won’t we?” His tone changes. Playful but there's something behind it I just can’t put my finger on right now.

The boys are bouncing ahead to my car while I stay back with Eddie a moment under the awning of the school. “Can I ask you something? I know you sell pot Munson. I think the whole school knows at this point..”

His ears perked up at the mention of drugs and he looks at you incredulously, “Okay, so what if I do? Someone like you buying?”

“Well yeah, ever since this summer I’ve taken it up. Anyways, I went through some shit, I don’t need to tell you the whole story, but I’ve been looking for something.. stronger? For the bad days..” I’m looking at my shoes at this point. I don’t even know what came over me to even think that Eddie would help me out with this.

“Stronger you say?” he replies, “I think maybe I can get you something stronger. I can probably get you better pot than the shit stuff you’re probably buying too” He laughs at me. “Wanna swing by that spot in the woods tomorrow after school and I’ll see what I can come up with?”

“Yeah I think I can do that.” I’m really trying to hide the blush that I can feel creeping across my face right now. He’s staring at me again. This time I think I can see some awe on his face? Did I just surprise Eddie Munson? I turn quickly so he can’t see the silly smile that’s about to sprawl free, “Thanks Eddie! See you tomorrow!” I wave and hurry to the car. The boys lost in the excitement of the night to even have noticed my absence for a minute there.

**********************************

The end of the day can't come quick enough. All I've been thinking about during my classes is him. He's hard to figure out. The way he so elegantly commanded the night last night during Hellfire was almost breathtaking. I could hang on every word that he says. The winks and the smiles every time he talked to me. The way he called me pretty. Everything that he does gives me butterflies and I don't think I've ever felt this way before in my life. But I have a mission. Go and meet him in the clearing in woods behind the school after the last bell rings. I wonder what he has in store. Robin already knows I'm meeting up with him after school and I've already been teased relentlessly, but she thinks I'm just going to buy some pot. Nothing else.

I haven't even had time to tell her all the juicy details of the night. There wasn't even anything really juicy, but she would find something out of what I say. She knows me better than anyone else.

I practically sprinted from my last class of the day to the clearing. There's a little picnic bench there and so I laid on top of it, Walkman blaring some Metallica and waited for Eddie to arrive. Other people using the woods and a cutaway gave me some weird looks but I don't really give a shit. As long as Eddie doesn't stand me up I'll be okay.

I'm lost in thought, jamming out, and something eclipses the sun that's been gently kissing my face with its warmth. Rude. I open my eyes and there's Eddie, late, but that's okay. He's looking at me smiling and I have to compose myself.

“Finally, thought I was gonna fall asleep laying on the table” I say coily, sitting up and taking off my headphones.

“I had to make sure no one else was here, you know what we're doing is kinda frowned upon in these parts.” he replied, tapping on his lunch box full of goodies.

“Okay Munson let's see what you've got”

“Ah ah ah, first, I wanna know a little bit about you. You've been a mystery to me ever since I saw you hanging around my little lame friends” he said endearingly enough. “I heard you were there…at the mall that night.. is it true?”

“How… how did you hear about that?”

“Doesn't matter how” he unlocks the lunch box, sitting across from me, our legs almost touching under the table. He pulls out a joint and lights it, offering me the first hit. I gladly take it, I think I'm gonna need it if I'm gonna talk to him. My nerves are already full of electricity from being near him, if I'm actually going to talk about myself I have to be completely zapped.

“Okay then yes. I was in the mall that night.” I take a long drag and blow the smoke towards him, a new found confidence of being stoned making me want to flirt with him. “That's how I shattered my leg. I don't know if you noticed but when the clouds are out, I'm usually in hiding. The rain really fucks up the pain in that leg… shit this is good pot” I exhale again, this time not blowing the smoke directly at him but up in the air. I'm trying and I think failing to have a mysterious aura around me. There's something about him that makes me wanna give up all my secrets.

“Shit sweetheart, that's gotta be rough…” a silence fills the air before he breaks it again. “So! I have a whole array of stuff here for you. You said harder so I pulled out all the stops for a pretty girl like you. Honestly I'm just more curious about how bad things can be that you're asking me for help with all this.” He looks hurt in a way as he says that. Like somehow I'm too good to be around someone like him. Little does he know we may be way more alike than he thinks.

“Hey no trauma dumping onto you until date number two.” That spilled out my mouth before I could even realize what I said.

“So this is a date huh? I should've worn some fancier clothes then. Maybe brought you some flowers instead of a whole lunch box of drugs. Unless you're into that sort of kinky stuff” he said with a wink.

I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. This pot is actually really fucking good and it's already gotten to me.

“Eddie.. Im sorry.. I don't mean to laugh but I think I'm so blazed and my lame attempt at flirting with you doesn't seem like it's working” I giggle

“I think it might be.” He moves closer to me, his elbows on the table, face getting closer to mine as I'm sitting there laughing with him across from each other.

“Do you really wanna know more about me Munson?” I replied in a lower tone. Trying to make my voice more sultry, flirty.

“I want to know every part of you.” he said breathlessly, closing the gap between us, hand gently cupping my face and kissing me, gently as I've ever been kissed, I melted into his touch.

After a moment he stopped, head still in his hand, him looking at me like he did the first time we really saw each other. It's an emotion I don't think I've ever seen before in someone like this. He's being genuine.

He let's go, clearing his throat as he does so.

“I'm sorry if that was out of line… If you wanna just be business associates that's cool.. if you wanna be friends that's cool with me too”

I look down, unable to look at him in the eyes right now. That was the best kiss I've ever had. It was so intimate. Respectful. Just everything that I thought that it would be. My brain went completely quiet the moment his lips locked onto mine and I haven't had the peace of silence in a very long time…

“Eddie I…. I don't know what I want right now. I came here wanting drugs. To find something that would make me feel something other than this empty sadness that has taken over my body like a parasite… and then you come along and somethings different. I want to know you. I want to learn everything about you. I am so fucking blazed right now and I can't believe the guy I have a crush on just gave me the kiss of a lifetime”

He's looking at me all smug. With a half cocked smile he leans back on the bench to give us some room. I'm scared if we didn't have this bench between us we might be getting arrested for public indecency. God I love his smile.

“You know you're not gonna scare me away with whatever you say, I really do wanna know you. I know I come off as this.. asshole.. but that's not all me. I'm an open book and I wanna help you out” he's sincere with his words.

I sigh, “Before anything else tumbles out of your mouth, whattya got for me?” I try to change the subject.

“Oh okay..” He sounds disappointed that I switched the conversation back to the drugs, the only thing that would make me feel something other than him. People leave. Especially when they see who I really am.

“I didn't know what vibe you were going for so I brought it all. Personally I think you should try some acid first. It'll help you let go, process your feelings and be raw and honest. If you're looking for something more numbing and less fun I have some opium but I don't recommend it. Made me sick so I haven't gone back. Last resort and you don't want to remember anything I have quaaludes...”

"Will you pick for me Eddie?” I say innocently.

“ I think you should try acid, I'll even trip sit you if you want.” He pauses, “It'll let you have fun and let go. I promise I'll be there with you through the whole experience if ya want.”

“Then I'll take some. I don't know when I'm gonna do it you know… but I'll call you before I do..” Things have gotten a little awkward. Why do I mess things up like this?

This confident boy I always see looks so rejected at the moment. I need to fix this before I just take the drugs and leave..

“Hey Eddie…”

“Yeah?”

“I really like you. I just don't know how to open up anymore after this summer. I do really wanna get to know you though. “ I nervous giggle as the words fall out my mouth.

“ I like you too sweetheart. Maybe when you trip you'll loosen up a bit and tell me more about you. I wanna know what makes you tick. “ He leans in again on the table. I find myself getting closer as well. My hand reaches for his long curly hair. Oh God I'm so blazed I just want to touch him.

I kiss him this time. The damn table getting in the way of how I really want to touch him. Fuck it. I'm crawling over.

Making my way over the table to close the gap between us, he breaks the kiss to smile at me. I don't even care how ridiculous this is, I don't want any space between us right now. Crawling into his lap he's still being a gentleman, even with our tongues dancing together. I can't get enough of him. He's holding me in his arms, my hands tangled in his hair. This is not the boy that everyone thinks they know. Under all that scary exterior, he's just a big softy.

I pull away from the kiss. I can barely breathe at this point. “Eddie..” I can barely get the words out of my mouth. “I gotta go…” His face is buried in my hair. Still holding me to him.

“Don't wanna let go..”

I try to get up but he's holding me firmly in his lap.

“Eddie, I gotta go get Robin from band practice..”

“Fine. I'll let you go princess.” I get up from his lap, pulling a mirror from my bag to make sure I don't look so wasted to go pick up Robin. I turn back to him and can't help but let a big goofy smile out, his face reflecting right back to mine.

“Acids on the house by the way” His foot digging into the ground like he's trying not to do twirls right now. “And you better call me when you wanna do it. Me and you aren't finished talking yet. You got a pen?” I grab one from my bag and he quickly writes his number on my arm.

I kissed him one last time on the cheek. If I kiss his soft lips again I'll never leave.

“I'll call you tomorrow Eddie”

I can't fucking wait to see him again.

[aonoexpat]

Stumbled a little bit, but getting back up!

14-02-2023

After the rush of running around getting a bank account, a tax number, a phone number, a guitar, a more permanent place to stay and a job, I somehow, miraculously, weirdly, had a little dip in my energy levels. So I spent some days sorting myself out a little more calmly, and granted myself a late afternoon trip to the beach for my first swim!

The weather was still lovely and the water was very refreshing, though I hurried out again quite quickly when I saw a sting ray egg and confused it for a jellyfish 😅

That night my friend took me to Wilton's bush to go glow worm spotting. It was absolutely magical to see them just hanging (literally) around in such numbers. Unfortunately my camera couldn't capture their faint light, but imagine that starry tunnel in Efteling's Droomvlucht and you'll get an accurate idea of what it looked like. We also saw some spiders, and eels in the creek (I touched one and it was YUCKY):

The next day we went on a beautiful hike along the Skyline track, which was my first introduction to the scorching Aotearoa sun. I applied SPF50 broad-spectrum sunscreen a total of four times in three hours and still got very close to getting burned. But the views were grand! It's funny how hills in the background can sometimes feel like generated terrain in video games, like places outside of the map you can move in as a player. But you can just walk up them, and there's a path there, and you can go anywhere you like, and it makes you feel really free 😊

The background choir of cicadas is still ringing in my ears. These noisy little bugs are everywhere around here, but difficult to spot sometimes. I managed to capture this one on film, but be warned: it's LOUD

I ended up with two huge blisters on my heels from the hike, but don't you think for a second that that stopped me from going to a ceilidh dance at the local Gaelic Club that evening! Had a grand time, and the keyboard player celebrated his 90th birthday with us :)

The next day it was time to put my skills to the test and try my hand at busking at the Harbourside fruit & veggie market. I got there way too late so it was tricky to find a good spot, but I ended up playing for about 2.5 hours and made upwards of 30 bucks, so I was pretty content! I also got gifted a plate of food and a nice cold can of Sprite by a passer-by, and a lady told me to get a loudspeaker so people could hear me better. Luckily I already got my hands on one the other day, so next time I'll bring it!

A great experience all in all, but unfortunately this was also my second encounter with the intensity of the sun, and this time I wasn't as well-prepared.

As you can see, it was a fairly overcast day, so I thought it was safe enough. But I sorely (again, literally) regret putting off applying sunscreen for as long as I did, for the next day my friend found me throwing up in the bathroom with a bright red and swollen face. "Sun stroke? Yeah. It happens." He got me a glass of water and some rehydration medicine and kept a watchful eye over me the rest of the day. It's times like this when I curse the pressing issue of online privacy because I vowed not to upload pictures of my face on this blog but by god you should have seen it, it's still not back to normal and probably won't be for up to a week. It's painful and itchy and has started to peel now, and every time I look in the mirror I'm reminded of what a fool I was for thinking it would be fine. A hard-learned lesson I won't soon forget.

Here's my artist's rendition of the transformation of my face:

So, I've been taking it easy since then: staying in as much as possible, watching some House of the Dragon on my friend's HBO account, convincing my bank that yes, I do have a valid visa, and no, I'm not laundering money, and figuring out how to work that loudspeaker for next weekend's markets. There's a storm raging over the North Island right now, cyclone Gabrielle, so staying in isn't much of a punishment. Te Whanganui-a-tara mostly experiences rain and strong winds, luckily nothing that warrants alarm, let alone evacuations.

Tomorrow I start my training at the bar, which I'm very excited about! It turns out the wages as established in my contract are a little stingy, but I'll live. I'm happy to have something for now, and if I don't enjoy it enough, I'll leave again. I look forward to having more of a routine, and a steady income to ease my worries a little. Life here is expensive, and with money transfers from The Netherlands taking several working days to arrive I'm feeling a little anxious every now and then. Luckily my friends here are happy to help me out if necessary. I'm very, very lucky to have them to rely on over here ❤���

[robertsbarbie]

i forgot to tell yall tucker did the FUNNIEST thing ive ever seen today and i was trying so hard not to laugh because it would’ve made my niece cry

background context: i don’t really talk all that much on here about this because it’s so mundane and not really relevant to anything but tucker is quiet genuinely the most docile, sweetest dog anyone will ever meet, even for a golden retriever. and this is not an exaggeration even if it sounds like it, he just is the king of empathy and not giving a fuck. he will immediately go up to anyone crying in order to comfort them, he will never yelp in pain even if you accidentally hurt him he will either ignore it or lightly move the part of his body away that the potential injury was inflicted on, the only time he ever comes *close* to snapping is with my sister’s dog (a maltepoo literally a quarter of his size) and that’s only when her dog is climbing on top of him and ignoring the head nods to get him off so just remember all of this

that brings us to today where my niece is in town and OBSESSED with tucker (makes sense she’s 3 and he’s fluffy) and as such she will not leave him alone, but she is also very much three and doesn’t really understand the concept of hurting things yet or being too rough** because she’s learning about the world. and so tucker has been a real champ these last few days sitting still while she pets him and squeezes his cheeks and points her wand at him and shrieks with glee at him when he’s usually just used to hanging out with only me, but since tucker does not react to anything he lets her do anything to him including dress him up like a princess…. now the crown really wasn’t an issue cause it was very similar to a dog hat and did not constrict him in anyway however there was a beaded bracelet in this dress up set and my niece wanted tucker to be pretty so she worked very hard to put it on his paw

now most of his toys are ring toys, i will sometimes put my hair tie on his paw, i hold his paws, he wears booties in the winter he is very used to things being on his paw. he is also again very calm and very gentle so typically if there is something on him he does not enjoy he’ll slowly, softly paw it off. that was not the case with this bracelet. he fully let her put it on him, sniffed it and ignored it while she sat with him

but then

she got up and ran to the living room and i finally understood seeing something happen in slow motion because as she was running in i was standing up to go get the bracelet and watched helplessly as he hooked the bottom of his mouth around the bracelet and literally as i uttered “Tucker NO—“ he lifted his head and shattered the bracelet fully on purpose. didn’t do his usual attempt to remove it, didn’t chew on it just lifted his head, snap, beads went everywhere and he walked away as if it never happened. and i genuinely thought it was so funny and like a scene out of a movie. and i wish i was recording because i really don’t think this text story does the imagery of it justice, just up and snapped and walked away without a care in the world didn’t try to eat the beads or steal the bracelet string he had just reached his limit

this was so dumb i just can’t stop thinking about it and needed to overshare on the oversharer website

**also a note me and my brother would never let her hurt him she is LEARNING control skills but it’s a process and we always step in before she would potentially hurt him and if an action has any mal intent on her behalf she has to apologize to tucker. we are not just letting her terrorize him i promise

[gingeraleluke]

Hey babe! Can I request a blurb or smth where someone makes a comment body shaming the reader and they really take it to heart? This happened to me the other day and it’s rlly hurting😢 I tried on all of my clothes that I loved yesterday but rn I see something completely different in the mirror ugh. Anyways if u could help I would appreciate it sm🥺 vin comfort is the best🤍🤍

𝗶 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: vinnie hacker x fem!reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: vinnie’s girlfriend takes some comments about her body, to heart.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: swearing, body image/insecurity and fluff

𝗔/𝗡: this is open ended for any body type! it’s plus sized and anor3xic friendly ♡︎

i love you so much and i hope this helps. you are perfect just the way you are <3

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

when you arrived at the hype house, you weren’t expecting to see anthony, jordan, and quinton to be sprawled out on the ground of the living room with remote-controlled cars zooming everywhere. you dodged the multiple toy cars that came speaking towards you, used to their antics.

“what the hell are you guys doing?”

“quinton got us cars.” anthony laughed, getting off of the ground and grabbing his stuff to leave. as he left out the door, he said goodbye to you and gave you a small hug.

“vinnie, y/n is here!” jordan shouted, continuing to play with the rc car. kouvr and alex walked down the stairs with the camera rolling, causing everyone to focus on them.

“say hi to the vlog!”

“Y/N’S HERE?!” vinnie bursted through the hallway, alex’s camera filming his whole reaction. he noticed the camera and rolled his eyes before grabbing you and picking you up to give you a kiss.

“hi.”

“hi!”

“i’ve been waiting for you to come.” vinnie muttered, his forehead up against yours and the two of you smiling.

“ah, yes. i see from all the rambunctiousness.” you laughed, feeling vinnie’s hands run down your body and give your ass a small squeeze, his neck nuzzled in yours.

everyone put their focus on the vlog and continued out of the room, jordan and quinton leaving with the rc cars. y/n made her way upstairs to vinnie’s room. not living together really sucked, but you understood how big of a deal being at the hype house was for him. you were busy with your own job but always made the time to see him. you’d often sleep at the house for a day or two a week, and sometimes vinnie would come with you and stay at your place. the point is, even though you didn’t live together, you still saw eachother pretty much daily.

vinnie was on his pc and you were sat on his bed, taking selfies. you liked taking pictures with the mural in his background and his game setup. it always made a picture better to you. vinnie wasn’t gaming so his headphones were off, and instead he was just editing clips of an anime he rewatched. you saved a couple selfies and posted one on snapchat.

you looked up to see vinnie turned around, his back still towards you. “what?”

“you just look so hot today.”

“oh, stop it.” you scoffed, jokingly while you tried to hide how flustered you were.

“i’m serious! i love when you wear tank tops and skirts.” he turned around, typing on his keyboard. “it’s fucking sexy.”

you looked down over your outfit, analyzing the graphic tank and the plain black skirt. you normally didn’t dress like this, but you felt confident knowing that you would be seeing vinnie today. while he continued working on his computer, you went through your instagram feed.

“hey, can we watch that new disney movie?”

“what one?”

“the columbian family one, encanto! it’s with the girl with the cute hair and the glasses—i don’t know much about it, honestly, but it looks so cute and everyone on my timeline is talking about it.”

“yeah! yeah, sure, let me just finish this real quick.”

you nodded and continued on your phone, a post from a vinnie fan page had popped up on your feed. it was a screengrab from a tiktok of vinnie dancing in a pool. it was zoomed in on you in the background, wearing a swimsuit and leaning against the wall.

confused as to why they posted it, you read the caption, and then the comments.

saw this in vinnie’s new tiktok. what do you guys think about her?

@ userone: ugh, no.

@ usertwo: she seems sweet and makes him happy 🤷‍♀️

@ userthree: why is he with a girl like that tho. she’s not even hot, look at her body bro..

@ userfour: @ userthree i know…

@ userfive: @ userthree she needs help, honestly. 🤢

@ usersix: @ userthree gross asf

@ userseven: @ userthree shut the fuck up, she’s perfect wtf

@ usereight: i love her, honestly

@ usernine: she’s so hot.

@ userten: he could do better 🙄

you immediately felt your whole stomach drop. you got up on your feet and rummaged through vinnie’s drawers and pulled out a pair of sweats and a shirt. vinnie didn’t notice and continued editing.

you curled up in a fetal position on his bed and grabbed onto the skin of your stomach. those comments hit you right in the gut and now you couldn’t even look at yourself.

going onto your snapchat, you deleted the selfie you posted, feeling salty tears fall down your cheeks. you cried silently, not wanting vinnie to know. he specifically told you how things with this would happen. how dating him would have people on your back, constantly picking you apart and putting you down.

“alright!” he got up and jumped on the bed, grabbing your leg. “let’s watch some disney.”

you picked your head up, rubbing the tears from your face. “i don’t know, i’m kind of tired and wanna sleep..”

“are you crying?” his voice was delicate and sweet, the sound making your heart flutter. he was genuinely concerned and confused. sitting up, he moved around you and put your back to his chest, sitting on his lap.

“hey! what’s wrong?”

“nothing.” you shook your head and gave him a small smile.

“honey…” he broke eye contact too take in your appearance. “why’d you change?”

“i just didn’t feel pretty in it anymore..” you spoke as if it was no big deal, but he could feel the slight shaking and rapid beating of your heart.

“what happened?” he spoke, in total seriousness. he never stopping looking into your eyes, as if the answer was deep in your irises.

“do you—do you think that i’m…not healthy?”

“what?! no? why?”

“like…i don’t look weird or…unhealthy?”

“y/n, seriously, what are you talking about?”

“my body!” you whined, dropping your hands in frustration. you hated this conversation with every once of your being. you got off of his lap and looked at him.

“what about it?!”

“it’s not right!”

“what’s not right? are you in pain?”

“no! i-i don’t look like other girls do…” you started crying again, breaking down your exterior and letting it out. vinnie’s hands never left your back and he looked at you as if he was so concerned that it hurt him.

“of course you don’t! you’re y/n, you aren’t any other girl.”

“fuck vinnie, you know what i mean. i don’t have the fucking slim waist, big ass and big boobs thing that all the other girls have. i don’t have the ‘just right’ arms and the perfect legs. i don’t fucking have any of it and i’m not special and it makes me feel like shit.”

“who told you this?”

“i saw a comment on a picture—it doesn’t even matter, it’s always in the back of my head. how different my body looks next to other girls…” vinnie grabbed you by the base of your back and took you into his arms, letting you cry before speaking.

“y/n…i don’t ever want you to feel like this, and i know i can’t help much but i promise you, with fucking everything that i have, that you are enough. there’s nothing wrong with you body, baby. i LOVE your body, okay? you-you shouldn’t…feel like that..” he frowned, kissing you on the cheek. his hand was on your head and combed through the hair at your scalp.

“i love you.” you mumbled, hugging him and letting your chin rest on his back. you breathed in his cologne and closed your eyes, realizing how lucky you were to have him.

“i love you…i love everything about you.” he grabbed your chin and gave you a long and passionate kiss before rubbing his nose against yours. you hummed happily, pulling out your phone and reposting that selfie you took. you heard vinnie mumble ‘gorgeous’ when he saw your face on the screen.

“can we go see the movie now?”

“of course, baby. but only if you change back into your clothes..”

“fine.” you groaned, jokingly. stripping down in front of him as he grabbed his wallet and keys.

“oh, y/n?”

“yeah?”

“about that last part? how you aren’t special? well, i think you’re wrong. the girl sitting here, on my bed, in my clothes, is pretty fucking special.”

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

@radioblah-blah @janesofia7 @sofslander

[volleychumps]

Defending S/O From Jealous Girls (Kuroo, Kageyama, and Tsukishima )

enjoy!!!!

warning(s):bullying!!!(tw) , boys who bite at anything that touches you<3

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kuroo

“Oops! My bad, Y/N- you should really watch where you’re going.” 

You rub your shoulder with a frown as the long-haired girl in front of you feigns innocence, eyes glinting with a venemous edge before you huff, leaning down to pick up your phone. A hand beats you to it, snatching the device in a way that had you flinching before a hand settles warmly atop your head. 

“Kitten, you good?” 

Of course. 

You sigh, seeing that the girl who had an obvious crush on your boyfriend had stepped to the side, lock of hair already twirled around her finger while her lips curled up in a flirtatious smile. Kuroo kept his feral eyes on you with a questioning look in his eyes as you offer a strained grin, taking the phone from him before glancing at the perpetrator. 

“Rika, did you need something?” 

“Kuroo-senpai, can I ask for your help on this upcoming assignment?” 

She blatantly ignores you, but Kuroo kept his gaze focused on your now shattered expression, seeing you hadn’t answered his original question. Distractedly, he merely shrugs at Rika before slipping his hand warmly into yours, tugging you along gently down the hall. 

The pissed-off expression of Rika’s still went unnoticed as you smile gratefully, following him along as Kuroo slips your conjoined hands into his jacket pocket. Feral eyes glance at your tired expression as Kuroo stops in the middle of the now empty hall, causing you to blink out of your thoughts. 

“Tetsurou, we need to get to class-” 

“Whatever you’re thinking about, quit it.” 

You tilt your head as if you don’t know what he’s talking about, plastic smile already tugging at the edge of your lips. 

“Huh-?” 

“Babe.” 

Kuroo’s motions are careful as his large hands rest on either side of your neck, thumbs gently tracing the contour of your cheeks as his sharp eyes seem to pin you in place. His chest sinks when the smile on your face slowly fades, your eyes brimming with unshed heat before he sighs. 

“How long?” 

“What-?” 

“I’m not dumb, sweetheart. So you either give me names and how long they’ve been giving you shit- or I interrogate any female I’ve ever seen you with. Your choice.” 

“...Rika’s really pretty, no?” Your voice cracks, smiling sadly as insecurity brims your tone, Kuroo’s grip on you seeming to weaken at your words. “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m just not-” 

“I will take you right here, in the middle of this hall.” 

“Tetsurou-!” You scold, a smirk crossing Kuroo’s lazy features before he tugs you into his chest, tucking your head into the crook of his neck seemingly deep in thought as the raven-haired boy strokes your hair. He mumbles, other hand wrapped around your body protectively as his lips move against the top of your head. 

“If it makes you realize how beautiful you actually are, kitten, I don’t object-” 

“I can’t stand you sometimes.” 

“So...no?” 

Kuroo grins at the feel of your laughter against his neck, lifting your chin upwards to encase your lips with his heatedly as your figners clench at the back of his shirt material-

sharp eyes flitting in the direction of a teary-eyed Rika.

 She runs off from her hiding place when he makes threatening eye contact with her in the midst of kissing you harder, hand on the back of your hair entwining with the strands for effect. One was off the list now, for sure. 

“Names, sweetheart.” He pulls back gently, kissing your slightly swollen eyelid as his thumb strokes your cheek lovingly. 

“I want them by the end of the day.” 

Kageyama

“Oi. Snap out of it.” 

Your dazed expression becomes alert at the feel of Kageyama touching a cold can against your cheek, the blue-eyed boy arching his brow in worry. 

“Sorry, um...” You seem frazzled, looking over your shoulder now and then as Kageyama casts you a second worried glance as he occupies the space next to you on the school bench. He pokes the straw into his milk, casually tossing an arm around you afterward-

certainly not expecting to hear a yelp. 

He flinches, retracting his arm back in a jerking motion. “What?! What’s wrong?” 

“My shoulder...” You clench your teeth. “It’s really sore.” 

“Did you bump it against something?” Kageyama sweat dropped, reaching a hand up to rest on the back of his neck worriedly. The awkward tension in his movements made you laugh, but it came out a little forced. 

“Nope. I’m going to get some relieving patches from the nurse’s office, don’t wait up!” You seemed skittish, the pained look in your eye not going unnoticed by your analytical boyfriend. His calls for you died on the blue-eyed boy’s lips, sighing when you’re so rushed you leave your phone behind. 

He picks it up, about to slip it into his bag to give it to you later, until your phone lights up with a text message-

multiple text messages. 

Kageyama’s blue eyes scan them before he can think. He hadn’t meant to read your messages, but he’s suddenly glad he stumbled upon them. The word bitch was prominently used, attacking you for dating the popular setter. Kageyama could feel heat rush to his head, jaw clenching at what he was reading. 

If yesterday’s lesson didn’t teach you enough, it won’t just be your shoulder next time. 

He lifted himself out of his seat, milk box crushed within his fist. Blue orbs barely scanned the name of the sender, thanking his good memory for remembering such a useless girl. She was in your class, and he briefly remember you awkwardly bringing her up. 

“Tobio, I told you not to wait-” 

“Come on.” 

Your eyes widen when Kageyama tugs on your good arm, the aura around him borderline dangerous. Worriedly, your questions of where he was bringing you failed to drown out the ringing in your boyfriend’s ears. 

“You don’t like holding hands in front of people-” You start, cheeks heating up when you reach the front of your classroom. 

“Y/N. You know you can trust me, right?” He’s still not looking at you, staring stoically at the shut classroom door. 

Subconsciously, you touch your shoulder as guilt brims your orbs. “I didn’t want to make it difficult for you-”

“Well, that’s fine.” You tilt your head as Kageyama slams the door open, glancing back at you with anger swimming in his blue orbs. 

“Because this shouldn’t be difficult.” 

You held back a sigh. Kageyama was the type to deal with these types of things head on, for the raven-haired boy never really cared much about what people thought of him. You embarrassedly trudge behind him as he walks in with ease, stopping in front of a certain someone’s desk that had your breath catching in your throat. Everything begins to make sense when Kageyama slips your phone out of his pocket. 

“You have a crush on me or something?” He bluntly asks, disinterest flitting around his blue eyes as you watch your bully’s jaw slacken, cheeks filling with embarrassment. “Is that why you’ve been harassing my girlfriend?” 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kageyama-Kun!” 

You shouldn’t have felt as justified as you did as Kageyama lets your phone fall on her desk, the messages staring back up at her as Aika’s eyes brim with unshed tears. 

“Expect an assault charge reported to the school tomorrow. Good job digging your own grave.” Kageyama’s cold voice sent a collective shiver down everyone’s spine before he promptly tugs you out of the classroom. You barely caught a glance at Aika’s trembling form before Kageyama’s leaning you against the now empty hallway. 

Lunchtime was over now, that was for sure. 

“Tobio, you didn’t-” 

“Let me adjust your patch. You didn’t put it on right.” He ignores you, still sorting out his emotions before he’s gently tugging your shirt off your shoulder slightly, peeling the patch off of your skin to reposition it.

“Are you mad?” Your voice was quiet as he solely focused on the task at hand. 

“Yeah.” You flinch, feeling guilty at his blunt tone- 

until his forehead touches your shoulder, his breath fanning against your skin. 

“You know I’ll protect you no matter what, right?” 

Kageyama’s chest finally settled, feeling tears of relief beginning to soak his shoulder as you smiled into his embrace, wrapping your arms around him.

“Yeah.” You breathily laugh, Kageyama’s grip tightening slightly- 

And he dug his face deeper into your shoulder, hiding a small lilt of his lips he didn’t want you to see. 

Tsukishima

“You’re late.” 

“I told you I wouldn’t miss it.” 

You beam in the face of your unamused boyfriend, the blonde sighing heavily as the squeak of sneakers fade out into the background. What mattered was that you came. 

“Any particular reason?” Tsukishima absent-mindedly twirled a strand of your hair around his finger, tilting his head in a bored fashion as you seem to stiffen in place.

“Um, no?” 

“Who knew my girlfriend was such a terrible liar.” Tsukishima pried further, arching a brow as you chew your bottom lip, looking everywhere but him. “Seriously, what’s going through that pretty little head?” 

“You think I’m pretty?” You seem to perk up at that, and Tsukishima flicks your temple as he begins to walk off to warm up. 

“Shut up.” He glances back at you, gaze softer than his usual hard stare. 

“...”

“What?” 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“Really? I didn’t notice.” 

Tsukishima’s irritation begins to show on his face before you giggle, feeling more relaxed than before as you motion that you’re going to find your seat.  You mouth a good luck to him, pretending not to notice the redness on the tips of the blonde’s ears as he spins on his heel hastily. So cute. 

Your smile fades when a smile that was just a bit too wide waves you to come sit with them. You wondered if you had a choice as your footsteps slow in their movement. 

“Y/N’s here~” 

“Looks like you can see after all. I underestimated you.” 

“Wha- You’re the one with the glasses!” 

Tsukishima smirks at how easy it was to rile Hinata up, hazel eyes flitting over to the stands. He would never admit it, but knowing you were in the bleachers somewhere-

Scratch that. He knew exactly where you were on the bleachers. 

Ice-cold, dripping with water. A water bottle being held upside down in a girl’s grasp, a girl who was vaguely familiar. 

“Tsukishima, we’re about to play-!” 

“Then put someone else in.” The tall blonde’s voice was hardened as he brushed past his team captain, fire on his heels at what he had witnessed. 

The heat in your eyes contrasted greatly with the ice cold water dripping down your back. Yuki giggled brightly with her friend stifling a laugh into her palm, a feigned pout on her lips as everyone in the stands stared at your trembling form. 

“Y/N-chan! You’re so clumsy!” Yuki squealed, bending down to pretend to wipe up some of the water on your lap with her scarf. Her voice drops to a mutter. “And forgetful. Didn’t I tell you not to come to Tsukishima-Kun’s game today?” 

Your eyes widen a fraction, trembling lips beginning to part before a warmth suddenly cascades your cold body. 

“And pray tell, why should she listen to your advice?” 

Tsukishima’s voice sounded kind, but his eyes were anything but, protectively tugging you out of your soaking seat. You feel the rise of his chest, eyes widening when you realize he ran to get here. 

Yuki’s lips trembled before a sweet smile overtakes her features. You could’ve laughed as she begins to sniffle. 

“Kei-Kun! Y/N-chan had a little bit of a spill, and I was just-” 

“Helping her?” He finishes for her, smile growing a little sadistic. He focuses his attention on you, clenching his teeth at the smile you offer him. A trembling one that said I’m okay. 

“Funny. Because I saw the whole thing.”

“I-It’s a misunderstanding-” 

“Oi.” Tsukishima’s fake smile drops, jaw clenched. You tug on his arm, not wanting to cause a scene, but he merely slips it out of your grasp, pushing you behind him. His glasses seem to shine a little as his lips quirk up yet again. 

“Ugly girls shouldn’t lie, it leaves them with nothing worth doting for, you know? Hm?” He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, smiling a closed eye smile. “And who gave you permission to call me by my first name? It’s Tsukishima. With an honorific.” 

You wince at the harsh insult that slaps Yuki across the face, flabbergasted expression still evident on your face as he takes you by the shoulders, spinning you around with a now pissed-off expression. 

“Yuri.” He looks back, getting her name wrong on purpose. “Don’t let me catch you helping my girlfriend again, got it?” 

She hiccups over her tears as the guy she likes walks off with you, who was still trying to grasp at what had just happened as he leads you to the hallway. 

“Y-You’re match is on right now-” 

“So?” 

“You’re a regular! You need to be-” 

“Shut up. I know exactly where I need to be right now.” Tsukishima snips, drying off the rest of the water as he kneels in front of you, a cup of hot tea from the vending machine warming your hands. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Kei...” 

“I’m sorry.” It comes out rushed and distracted, but Tsukishima’s momentary pause of his movements made you think it was anything but. “They bothered you because of me, right?” 

You nod slightly, biting the inside of your cheek before he flicks your temple, suddenly irritated. 

“What a pain.” 

“Why-?” 

You gasp softly, hands tightening around your paper cup as he brushes his lips across your forehead, hand resting on your neck. 

“Tell me when things happen.” 

“Mm.” 

“Don’t bottle it up inside. It’s annoying.” 

“Mm.” 

“And stop smiling like an idiot.” 

“But you kissed me. You kissed me first.” 

“I’ll leave you here.” 

“No you won’t.” 

Tsukishima groaned, tilting his head back to sigh heavily as his heart pounds in his ears. Quickly, he presses a chaste kiss to your lips that has your eyes as wide as saucers, tugging you out of your seated position while refusing to look back at you. 

“You’re right,” You stare at his flushed neck, following closely behind him back to the tournament. 

His hand tightens in yours ever so slightly-

“I’m never leaving you alone like that again. Understand? Or do I have to spell it out for you?” 

---------------------------------------------

General works: @takemetovalhalla  @faesbae  @savemesteeb @dreebbles @yams046   @let-me-have-my-own-name  @deadontheinsidebut @lifeisntjustblackandwhite   @curiouslilbeast  @aprettyfruit   @wisepandaslimeland   @h0ngh0ngh0ng   @lmkjimin   @orangegiraffe7   @dai-tsukki-desu   @kac-chowsballs   @spikertrash   @yamaguwuchi   @lord-suneater-explosion   @holaaaf  @babyybokutoakaashi   @lexysclubhouse   @disneyloving-muggle   @kuuuuroo   @theonep1ece  @that-chick212  @mjoork

[anadelaney79]

First time

Summary: You stepped on the red carpet for the first time with Henry.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Words: 1120

Warnings: None. Just romance!

Title: First time

You squirm in the leather seat, nervous. You run your hands down your pants once more, smoothing out non-existent wrinkles, and pull up your white, pearl-embroidered corset. "The dress would've been a better choice" you think. You cling to the door handle as if your life depended on it. The warmth of Henry's hand wraps around yours, squeezing it lovingly.

-Hey… -he says, placing a finger under your chin to turn your face towards him. He speaks at you looking at your eyes tenderly- It's you and me. Nothing else.

-You and me… -you smile at him- …and millions of other people. I should have put on the dress -is all you can say.

-You look beautiful -he takes one of your hands to his lips and leaves a soft kiss on your skin. He lowers his eyes to your mouth, watching as you bite your lower lip. He gently drags it with his thumb, freeing it from your bite.

The car stops, waiting to be ushered through some fences. The driver hands out a badge to a man in security clothing, who looks inside the car and nods at us. There is people everywhere, and posters, music, lights and movement starts to appear in front of us.

Your relationship with Henry is, at least for both of you, atypical. For you, because you would've never imagine falling in love again, or moving to another country for love, or sitting in a fancy car about to escort your boyfriend to a gala with hundreds of photographers pointing at you. For him, because nothing went as planned. He always introduced his girlfriends in society, being seen with them hand in hand, walking through London, sailing on a ship or at an award ceremony. With you, on the other hand, you two have been together for almost a year and have never been seen out in public; no one but their closest circle knows you two are together. And although he was never into exposing his private life to the public, people ended up finding out the details of his relationships.

But you didn't want that. You wanted as much anonymity as possible; you were terrified of getting hurt from the start. He was in charge of showing you that the relationship was serious little by little, until trust was the common denominator between the two of you.

You made no great effort to hide. It just happened that way. You accompanied him everywhere, always, but in the background, trying to go unnoticed. Maybe because you don't look like the typical Hollywood girlfriend, no one suspected anything. And that is what makes you feel vulnerable now. You are not the chaste first-time girlfriend, with a body carved by the Gods and straight blonde hair. No. Right now, your brown curls sway in the breeze coming through the window, threatening to get out of control at any moment, and your curves sensually fill every fold of your outfit.

And, besides, you have a daughter from your first marriage, whom Henry adores. And he cares about her so much that sometimes you suspect that he loves her more than you.

You swipe your finger across the phone screen.

-Let me know how Nini is before we get out of the car... -you say.

-I just texted my mother. They are baking a cake together -he tell you so naturally that you feel yourself melting- Are you ready?

You look outside. The car istopped at the end of the red carpet. A man in a neat black suit has his hand on the car handle, ready to open it.

-I think so- you tell him.

Henry gets out of the car and you hear the cheer around him. Thousands of people screaming his name, the clicks of the cameras, the flashes exploding all around. Your heart seems to want to jump out of your chest. Before you can open the door, Henry is opening it for you, holding out his hand to help you down. You look directly into his eyes, and you know that no one could ever be happier to be with you. Suddenly you feel safe, happy. All at once. You take his hand and get out of the car, and the flashes explodes again. "Henry, is that your girlfriend?" You hear the photographers scream. "Henry, a photo with her, here!" He raises his left hand, waving to the crowd, while his right hand grasps yours tightly. You sigh and begin to walk beside him, praying not to fall out of your sky-high heels, and not to do anything out of character. Difficult thing, because you always manage to do things out of place.

You just walk looking at an invisible point on the horizon. His warm hand holding yours, keeping you close even when he's doing his job and he can't be paying you attention. You know that he is there for you, and that makes you love him even more, if that is possible. You can't even look around, because you are completely overwhelmed.

Henry turns to you and his hand goes to your waist, placing you next to him. You realize that you are standing at the center of the red carpet, with all the accredited photographers shooting their photos at once. A woman tells them where to stand, and he speaks to you in a low voice:

-Let's look over there first -he tells you, pointing to his left with his hand -and then we'll sweep our eyes until we reach the end, so everyone can take our photo, okay?

You nod your head. His hand presses low on your waist, and you stand as straight as possible. All around you hear the screams that doesn't stop. "What's her name Henry? Where did you meet her? Look this way!" You remember the instructions that Henry gave you the last few days: "don't listen to anything they say, just follow me." His words in your head reassure you, and you realize that he is not only the man you love, but that he is a voice inside you that will always be with you, making you feel loved and cared for, as if you were the only thing in the world for him. You turn your head and look into his eyes, and he does the same, at the same time. He is happy, and you are happy too. He leans in and in just a second his lips whisper in your ear:

-You look beautiful, but I can't wait to get home and have you naked, just for me.

Henry looks at you with a mixture of lewdness and mischief. Your cheeks blush and your smile breaks out in all it's splendor. Henry knows how to get photographers to take the best version of you.

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

The Kind that Never Slows Down | Damian Wayne

✦ pairing — older!Damian Wayne x female!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 10k

✦ summary — Gotham is hit with a spell that changes your perception of Damian forever.

✦ warnings — nsfw, semi-public sex, non-con sex (not really but just to be safe), angst, language, light jealousy, light possessiveness, mentions of food, smut, unprotected sex (please don’t do this), consensual sex, vaginal sex, cunnilingus, fluff.

✦ author's note — this one should’ve been published a long time ago, but I just got around editing it. Hope you like it.

════════════════════════

The abandoned building smelled like piss and mold, the only light available entered through a broken window, and you were pretty sure you had heard rats roaming around.

But you didn’t care. Robin’s hands were all over you, plump lips sucking on your neck like his life depended on it as he pounded into you.

It wasn’t enough.

He had skipped foreplay on your insistence. You needed him more than anything, if he didn’t fuck you right there in that moment you wouldn’t be able to survive.

He grunted out of pleasure as you clenched around him, gripping your hips to ground himself as he picked up his already relentless pace.

It still wasn’t enough.

Having his cum down your thighs and marks over your neck from his kisses wasn’t enough either. Your body craved all of him, including his whining and abrasive words.

Noise outside prompted him to part from you completely. Both of you fixed yourselves as best as you could in silence, avoiding looking at the other.

You followed him outside with a sense of guilt hovering over you like a dark cloud. You felt like you had just gotten out of a trance after committing the worst of the crimes.

Nightwing stopped you by yelling, “Where were you? I looked for you two everywhere.”

“We were looking for you,” Robin lied smoothly.

Nightwing’s shoulders slumped as he nodded. “Well, Zatana undid the spell.”

Suddenly Damian’s urgent voice as he said he needed you made all the sense in the world. His need for you and your need for him had been magic-induced.

Of course it had been! You two were mere acquaintances who fought all the time for the most minimal things in the world or ignored the other to the point of making people around you uncomfortable. It was a surprise that you worked well together at night.

“A lust spell, right?”

“Well, no,” Nightwing chuckled. “According to her, the spell showed people what their heart desires the most.”

Robin stiffened beside you, and you felt every drop of blood drain from your face and fall to your feet.

“Did you hear a lot of people having sex?”

“Yeah,” you croaked. “Tons of them.”

The moment you got home, you ripped your suit off and walked into the shower. You washed his cum off you, scrubbing your body twice just to make sure.

Wishing the soap could erase the marks on your neck and the memory of the way he had moaned your name, you decided to take a pill to sleep.

You hadn’t needed one of those in months, but Damian was that special. Or annoying.

God, you hated him and his stupid ego. He would surely find funny the lengths you would have to go to put this in the past.

He loved being the center of attention as much as he hated you, that was why you always tried your best to avoid him. When you didn’t avoid him, he made weird faces at you and scoffed every time you laughed.

Turning the lamp off, you hoped for the best.

Meanwhile, Damian ignored Dick’s inquiries. Why did his brother care if he was extremely quiet or if he looked like he was about to explode?

Your scent was all over him, still bewitching him, overpowering his sweat and the smell of everybody around him.

Looking down at his hands, the gloved palms that had hours before gripped and traced as much of your body as your suit had allowed him to, Damian clenched his jaw.

How could he have been so stupid? There was no other reason for you to beg him to fuck you the way you had — magic! He fucking hated magic.

But Dick’s explanation... that was worse. More stupid. He hated it too. His brother had to be wrong.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone from his family was wrong regarding magic, and Zatanna while an expert had her own biases.

Besides, his heart could have been desiring to get off the most just like yours. The two of you were busy people after all.

“Did the spell show you anything, Dami?”

The prettiest face he had seen in his entire life. “A pet demon.”

He regretted the lie the moment he said it. Damian wished a lot of things could be different. His mother would be furious if she knew how sentimental he was becoming, if she found out how often he gave into wishful thinking.

For once, he wanted to be open. But as always something was stopping him. Sometimes he wondered if he had been born to be like that or if his grandfather had simply lied.

Leaving the cave the moment he was dismissed, he trotted upstairs almost praying Dick wouldn’t follow him.

He couldn’t stop replaying the way you clung to him, or the harshness of your kiss. It had felt real, and too perfect to be happening to him all at once.

But you hated him, everybody and their mother knew that.

════════════════════════

Barbara had never been subtle around you. There had never been a need for such a thing — she was like the older sister you never had, you two carried the other’s secrets and burdens.

Back when you met her, barely as a teen, she provided a safe place you only had ever dreamt of having. You vowed to give it all back; she deserved it.

“What’s up with the turtleneck?” She asked, unsubtly so with her bright eyes on your neck.

“I have a cold,” you feigned a rasp. Perhaps this secret wouldn’t be shared.

“Mmmh. Really?” She poured herself a cup of coffee. “Dick said Damian was feeling under the weather too.”

Yup. Definitely not sharing. It would be embarrassing. She had always had the theory that you were in love with Damian just because you complained about him on a weekly basis.

It was like she had never met him.

In a way, the theory was correct. But it lacked a lot of details — a spell had confirmed it from all things. It sounded ironic, quite suitable to your situation.

“Flu season, I guess.”

It was a bad lie. Everybody knew when flu season arrived because Tim started getting a stuffy nose and limiting his consumption of Red Bull in order to drink more water.

”Did the spell from the other night show you anything?”

You faked a cough, shaking your head. “I was busy on patrol.”

“I was too and I saw Dick.”

“That’s just wishful thinking, Babs. It’s cute, though.”

Her not seeing Dick would have surprised you. They had known each other for years, gone through so much together... most people wanted what they had.

“Is there a particular reason why you’re lying to me?”

You wrapped your fingers around your mug. The heat transferring from the ceramic to your palm reminded you of Damian’s breath on your lips.

Taking a gulp of coffee, you blinked rapidly. “You don’t think it’s cute?”

She rolled her eyes. “Everybody saw something. It’s how those spells work.”

“There must be something wrong with me.”

There really had to be something awfully wrong with you. Saying out loud that you wanted Damian more than anything in the world terrified you.

It was a normal thing. Not wanting him specifically, but wanting someone — everybody craved attention and love at some level, you just happened to crave Damian’s at every single one.

He was the problem, not you.

════════════════════════

Movie marathons weren’t something Damian really cared for, but they were better than hearing his father complain about minor things like if he had ruined a goon’s lungs or whatever.

Alfred called it bonding time which he supposed was a fair assessment. He found Tim’s taste in movies quite good, and now he didn’t get the urge to strangle his slightly older brother in his sleep.

His stepmother was there too. Selina had been the reason why Bruce shifted his ways, she urged him to either find a balance or stop adding people to the team.

Duke made him pass a bowl of popcorn to Tim who did the same to Stephanie. The bowl landed on Dick who was on the row behind them, just next to Jason.

Getting more comfortable on his seat, his eyes fell on the empty spot to Duke’s right. Cassandra used to sit there until one afternoon Duke couldn’t seem to shut up and she asked you to switch places. You always went with the things Duke said, sometimes even asked his opinion.

Damian complained once, telling his sister to suck it up next time. But Cassandra would never do something he told her to, that was perhaps why she was his favorite.

Everyone around him was in an amazing mood which he didn’t understand. Bruce had just tried to tell a joke, and Jason was mocking how dumb it was.

Selina laughed loudly, in that way people did when they felt genuinely happy. At least that was what he supposed; Damian wasn’t sure he had ever experienced happiness.

The sound of an approaching wheelchair made his ears perk up. Not a single pair of shoes could be heard against the floor. Fighting a frown, he turned to look at the door.

Barbara waved at all of them with a smile, maneuvering her wheelchair to sit next to Dick’s seat. Craning his neck with the excuse of saying hi, Damian watched her give Dick a chaste kiss.

“Where’s (Nickname)?” Dick asked, lifting his arm to rest it on the back of Barbara’s chair.

“She said she was feeling sick. Although...” Barbara giggled, leaning onto Dick’s arm. “I heard the voice of a guy in the background so she might have company.”

Damian felt sick upon hearing such a thing. First, you had asked to be paired up with Duke for patrol and now this? It was too much even for your pettiness — granted, he had planned on putting more distance between you two, but he hadn’t gone around trying to find someone to erase you.

The thought never crossed him, not for a single moment. He had wondered why he wished to cling to a memory when he had never been the sentimental type, but he realized that to be the entire point of deep desires.

“Well, it’s time,” Stephanie commented, “she’s been single for too long.”

“Let’s hope we don’t have to scare him off,” Selina added.

Damian stood up from the now uncomfortable seat, forcing Duke to do the same so he could leave. Duke stared at him weirdly, with worry, as if he knew something Damian didn’t want him to.

He probably did. Damian had been careless two times in a row. God, he needed to get a fucking grip. Unconsciously, he fiddled with the neck of his sweater.

“Oi,” Jason called for him, “where are you going?”

“Out,” he answered angrily. “If other... members... may skip this, why can’t I?”

Barbara and Dick shared a sideways glance.

Only telling Alfred that he would be back later, Damian followed the path towards the garage. Skipping his bike for once, finding himself thinking he wanted to take as little shortcuts as possible for whatever reason, he took his car.

Damian had always been a fan of driving. He didn’t know why, it was tedious and didn’t serve many purposes in the grand scheme of things; not to him. Ever since he learned, he took every opportunity he got to drive whichever vehicle he could get his hands on.

Having control over vehicles and machines was nice, he supposed. If people were a little bit more like said things, everything would have been easier. The world would be boring, but easier to habit.

Saving people was easy, caring about them from afar gave him enough human interaction for his standards, but he would never understand them.

And for the first time since he tried to decode his mother’s attitude, he wanted to understand someone more than anything. Perhaps that way said someone would understand him back and untangle this mess.

The building before him wasn’t welcoming. He had never put foot into that place, but he knew every single person that lived there — patrol gave him that kind of knowledge. And he did some research months ago, but no one needed to be aware of such thing.

He pressed his ear to the door he had been looking for. The dishwasher was on, but he couldn’t pick up any other sound. Damian knocked on said door three times, quickly and loudly. There was no answer so he did it again. A door slammed shut inside the apartment, a groan accompanied by a string of curses got clearer as stomps approached him.

Standing tall and straight, he felt a thrill down his spine as the lock was loudly fiddled with.

You swung the door open, rubbing your eye. He observed you had thrown a turtleneck on, upside down. Damian walked past you without invitation, analyzing the living room.

There were no clothes scattered all over the floor like he had imagined he would find.

“What are you doing here?”

He ignored you, exploring the kitchen. Damian opened the fridge, narrowing his eyes as he inspected. He did the same with the cupboards.

Shoving your bedroom door open, he found the bed undone. The TV was on, playing an old movie. He heard your steps as you followed him, repeating your question.

“Is someone from the team in danger?” You asked next.

Damian pulled your closet open, tilting his head. You could’ve been more organized, he admitted to himself, but there was nothing unusual.

Craning his neck to look at you, he inquired, “Where is he?”

“Where’s who?! What’s going on?”

He stared at you, waiting for you to crack. To his surprise, you stared back — defiant, blinking less and less as the seconds passed.

You were mad, he could tell. It only made him grow more suspicious. Tensing under your eyes, sharp instead of soft like they usually were, he scoffed; he couldn’t show he cared.

“Dude,” you insisted, “you are scaring me. What happened?”

Shaking his head, he pushed past you again and continued his search. The bathroom was warm, the mirror fogged up and tiles sprinkled with drops of water.

He turned around, watching you again. Well, your hair was wet now that he paid more attention to it...

Damian checked in the small laundry room too, but he found bottles of detergent and folded towels next to your suit. Nothing else. No one else.

“Damian—“

“Shut up.” He pointed at you with a finger.

“You are the one who came to my place to look for whatever or whoever you are searching for! Unprompted!”

He didn’t answer.

You went back to your bedroom to turn the TV off and pause the movie, resigned to the fact that he had ruined your self-care day.

No one knew you would be home that day. You had ignored everybody’s calls and avoided being active on social media just in case they were stalking you. Turns out the utmost secrecy isn’t enough to avoid Damian Wayne.

He stood in the living room, looking down at the coffee table as if expecting the furniture to turn into something else. Fixing his eyes on the centerpiece he knew Dick had given you as a gift because it reminded him of you, Damian furrowed his brows.

“Have you been alone the entire day?” He asked, feeling your presence behind him.

“My neighbor brought some cake. Other than that, yeah.”

“Barbara said you had... company.”

“I haven’t talked to Babs in days.”

Barbara had continued asking about what you saw that night with the spell, and you weren’t willing to say it still. Weeks had passed, but it felt like mere seconds had at times. It was so easy for her to ask, to assume things.

Only you knew the conflict you were feeling. She would never understand how awful it was to find out the one you desire the most is the one who likes you the least.

You had entertained the naive idea that he was in the same position, but the more you replayed what had happened, the more you convinced yourself it had been one-sided. He gave in because the release was pleasant, nothing else. People say things they don’t mean while having sex.

You had done it before, for fuck’s sake. You had faked having a good time before, who was to say Damian hadn’t done the same with you?

“Have you seen anybody else?” He blurted.

“My neighbor, I told you.”

He reformulated, “Have you had sex with anybody else?”

You considered lying, you really did. It would make the tension go away, you would have to see him around with other people but it would save you from a lot of embarrassment.

A part of you told you it was stupid, that you wouldn’t be able to take it. Much less when the people who usually took some interest in you tended to ghost you for whatever reason.

“Not since that night, if that’s what you’re asking,” you admitted.

“Good.” It slipped, but he didn’t care. He meant it, and it felt nice to say things he meant, no matter how harsh they could sound.

You rounded the room, crossing your arms as you stood in front of him. “Why are you here?”

“I was told you had company,” he repeated himself.

“And your logic was to interrupt me?”

“Yes.”

You couldn’t believe him. Did he want you to be alone and miserable your entire life?

The worst part was that you would probably be. Finding out you liked him, that you wanted to have him around, that you craved his attention, and his touch, rocked your world and shattered it.

Who would ever compare to him? His flaws were other people’s better qualities, even you who didn’t know his good side that well was aware of that.

“Do you really hate me that much? I’ve never done anything to you!”

He finally lifted his head. You wished he hadn’t, you wished you didn’t have to see anything other than anger in his handsome features. “I don’t hate you. I would make your life a living hell if I did.”

“You could’ve fooled me,” you chuckled, way more sadly than you thought yourself capable to feel regarding anything that came from him. “You roll your eyes at me every time I visit your house, Damian.”

“It’s not intended at you.”

“The scoffs sure are,” you reproached him, “and your stupid comments of how unfunny anything that makes me laugh is.”

“It’s not because of you,” he shouted. Shaking his head, vexed, he twisted his mouth as he huffed his anger out through his nose. “Cassandra’s jokes aren’t even that funny.”

“See?”

“Why don’t you laugh at mine?” He reproached now, crossing his arms to mimic your stance. “Why is it always one of my siblings or my friends who get a positive response but not me?”

“Oh, come on! You’re saying that like I didn’t come by hearing you say my name a few weeks ago!” Your words stunned him into silence which you used to your advantage. “You never tell jokes in front of me, how am I supposed to laugh at them? I always feel like shit because you only accept being around me on patrol, you entrench yourself in your room and make a point to slam the door shut just so I hear... you know what? Forget it.”

“I hate seeing you with them,” he said, wishing his words hadn’t carried that much emotion. “I always bribe people to not ask you out or to leave you alone, I have to watch you hug Jon and kiss my siblings’ faces. You’re always so damn nice until I appear... I prefer being alone than enduring your indifference.”

You widened your eyes. “You bribe people to not ask me out?!”

“Is that the only upsetting part from everything I said?” he snapped.

“No, no. Of course not. I just...”

He hummed. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“A waste of money, honestly.”

“If I didn’t, you would be with someone else right now. Probably Duke, you’ve always liked him.”

“You bribed Duke?” You let a small laugh out. “Duke? Our Duke?”

“Yes! Stop mocking me.”

“Duke knows everything, you know?” You admitted, uncrossing your arms.

You hadn’t been able to keep things to yourself for that long. Seeing Damian around suddenly hurt. The feeling had always been there, but finding out that he was your heart’s deepest desire wrecked your perception

When you told Duke, he reacted casually, as if you had told him the most obvious thing in the world. He said you and Damian were the only ones who hadn’t seen it.

“He knew certain things before I did, in fact,” you added. “Besides, I see him as a brother and he sees me as a sister.”

Damian nodded. It made sense, now Duke’s attitude seemed normal in comparison to what Damian had assumed.

He always assumed things. Bruce had told him once that he needed to learn to ask before acting out — this was the first time Damian found his father’s words useful.

“Why did you kiss me that night?”

“I believe it was more than kissing.”

“Yes.” Damian hadn’t been able to forget, he never would. “But why?”

“I felt... I don’t know how to explain it,” you confessed.

The room suddenly felt small, extremely hot. You shed the stupid turtleneck, it wasn’t like he hadn’t done the stubborn marks on your neck.

Make-up had hidden them well for a few days, and most of them had faded already, but there were two bite-marks, too big and deep, that needed more healing time.

“I was scared,” you told him, “that’s why I felt the rush to take your hand. And it was enough for a while, but then it wasn’t, I wanted you closer.”

“I couldn’t breathe. I assumed I was being poisoned. Then you took my hand and I panicked for a moment, I thought...” his voice broke.

You gave him time, trying your hardest to hide how surprised you were by hearing him like that.

“I thought you were having the same symptoms,” he rasped. “I’ve been trained to fight those things off, but you haven’t and I knew you would die. Your hand made it better for a few minutes, then I needed you closer too.”

“We can forget about it if you want,” you assured him, avoiding looking at his face in case your comment relieved him.

“I don’t.”

Damian reached for your hand in the same fashion you had that cursed —literally— night, shakily, urgently.

And in the same fashion he had, you allowed him to take it.

He brought you closer to him. You observed he looked more tired than ever, perhaps because things had been tense for the past weeks. You couldn’t have possibly looked too different.

“The spell doesn’t have to dictate this,” he said, tilting his head to look into your eyes. “It won’t. You know I don’t trust magic.”

“The spell is not the problem,” you whispered.

“I didn’t think there was a problem.”

“We have never spent time together outside of patrol, Damian.”

He sighed, nodding. “Get changed. Let’s go out.”

Only a lunatic would give their self-care day up for a guy. Well, you didn’t really care if people thought you were a lunatic, and Damian wasn’t just a guy — still, giving up the ice cream in your fridge was a sin.

A sin you were happy to commit.

Damian waited for you to get changed, patiently if anyone asked you. It had taken you a few minutes to even choose something appropriate, based on his own outfit because that was just logic.

He slipped his cellphone into his pocket while you locked the door. As you turned around to take off, he offered his hand.

You took it, intertwining your fingers with his as you walked down the hallway. In the middle of the stairway, you bumped into one of your neighbors who smiled sweetly at both of you. To your surprise, Damian smiled back.

Also surprised to discover he hadn’t taken his bike, you bowed as a thank you when he opened the door of his car for you.

“Do you want to put some music on?” he offered.

“You pick,” you said, curious as to what he would play.

You could’ve sworn he was nervous as he stared down at his phone, looking for something to play. He scrolled down, then up — he switched apps, then continued scrolling.

“I’m not picky.” Your tone was soft, an attempt to assure him.

“I don’t really listen to a variety of genres.”

“What do you listen to the most?”

“Classical. My mother got me used to it.”

You rested the side of your head on the backrest of the seat, looking at him. “You can play that if you want. Or we can just talk about the weather and whatnot. I think it might rain tonight. You like rain, right?”

He locked his cellphone, turning to face you. “Yes. It calms me.”

“I hated it as a kid,” you disclosed, hoping it would ease the tension and better his mood. “I was scared of thunderstorms.”

Igniting the engine, he prompted you to continue, “Not anymore?”

“No. My mom used to tell me that the only reason why they were so noisy was that the sky was happy to unwind and eventually I believed it.”

“That’s cute.”

“I had a phase in which I was in a bad mood if it didn’t rain.” You laughed at your own comment. “Now I like it just fine, less obsessively.”

“I had a similar fixation with snow.” He laughed too, and your stomach did somersaults — it was the first time you had heard him laugh genuinely.

Damian didn’t talk about life at The League often, he didn’t feel compelled when he knew the preconceptions that came with simply mentioning the place or his maternal family.

In fact, everything Batman Inc.’s members knew had been from Bruce. He liked the secrecy, those were parts of him and no one else. But he was willing to share tiny pieces with you.

He saw it as something supposed to be shared between two people interested in starting a relationship.

So he continued, “I would only climb mountains if they were covered by snow. My mother called me a brat many times, but she gave into my wishes for a while.”

“How did you grow out of it?”

“I broke my elbow.” He briefly looked to the side and then took a turn. “I proved her right, and I didn’t like not having the last word so I started despising the snow. I don’t mind it now.”

Before you could ask anything else, he pulled into the grocery store’s parking lot.

He picked a basket once inside the store, making a motion for you to follow him.

“What are we buying?”

“Fruit and whatever you want for a picnic.”

Realizing you weren’t near the fruits aisle, you gripped his sweater, steering him to the other side. Of course he wasn’t used to doing groceries.

He silently allowed you to guide him which was a win, Damian hated being told what to do no matter how small the suggestion was.

It didn’t take either of you too long to get everything you needed, but he spent ten minutes choosing a blanket as if he wouldn’t ruin the poor thing with mud and insects.

Passing the clothing area on your way to do checkout, you elbowed him on the side. He stared down at you, then followed your eyes as he realized they were fixed on something.

Damian groaned. “You’re so funny.”

“Oh, come on! You’re telling me you wouldn’t buy Batman underwear?”

“No.”

“You’re lying.”

“I am not.”

You narrowed your eyes, keeping your laugh in when you saw what resembled a pout on his face. “Robin’s?” you tried.

“Perhaps.”

You lost it at that. “Are they comfy?”

“Will you stop laughing if I say yes?”

“Only if it’s the truth.”

He just nodded, then did the gesture upward so you would resume the path towards the exit.

Pleased with his answer, you walked towards the checkout line. Damian stood behind you, breathing your scent in.

“Is that a new perfume?”

You craned your neck. “How did you know?”

Shrugging, hoping he was being nonchalant enough, he said, “I have a good nose.”

After a brief fight over who would pay for the groceries, —which he won by saying it had been his idea—, you left the store in direction of the park.

Your hand found his naturally, as if your palm’s place was to be pressed against his bigger one.

It felt good, but not really because of that bullshit —true, but bullshit still when magic was so unpredictable— of him being what your heart desired the most. The truth was that you could feel in his grip how much he wanted this to go well.

Swinging your clasped hands, you walked around the park, looking for the perfect spot to sit at.

You found a spot away from the kids running around, against a tree. Damian laid the blanket on the grass, placing the paper bags onto it next.

He slid an arm around your shoulders, using his other hand to eat.

“Do you think your family is already spying on us?” you asked gazing at him as you leaned onto his arm.

“I am certain.”

“You don’t mind?”

He lightly smiled at you, reaching for a strawberry. “Not at all. Do you?”

“Nah. I’m not looking forward to Barbara’s teasing, though.”

“Why did she tell us you had a guy over?” He bit down into the fruit.

“She has always said I have feelings for you.” You wiped the corner of his mouth with your thumb. It never occurred to either of you that you would need napkins. “And I guess she put two and two together when we covered our necks and used the same excuse.”

“In my defense, I could have blamed Tim.”

“In my defense,” you copied his smart-ass tone, “I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“You told Duke from all people.”

“Duke was supportive.”

Damian hummed sarcastically. “I’m sure everybody knows the details already. He loves to gossip.”

Seeing you frown before you turned to look to the other side, he reached for your farthest cheek, softly pushing your face so you would stare at him.

“I don’t care if they know.”

You wished you could have believed him. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have avoided me the same way I avoided you.”

“I cared,” he clarified, “not anymore.”

“What changed?”

“Me, my priorities… my vision of you, of this.”

You took an apple in your hand. Rolling the fruit in your grasp, you only nodded. Saying something else would have been nice, appropriate even, but words escaped you.

The fact that he didn’t hate you was still pretty new, shocking to some extent. His willingness to be seen with you by family and strangers alike was a huge compliment, and a big deal.

It was too serious so suddenly… you liked it no matter how scary it was. There had to be a reason why he felt so sure about this, and trusting Damian had never been a bad idea.

Except from that time when you ended up with stitches all over your arm, but you could let that go if it meant having him by your side. As corny as it sounded.

“Meetings will be weird, won’t they?” You sunk your teeth into the apple, hearing him chuckle.

“Less awkward, I hope. Although I enjoy vexing my siblings.”

“We can have fake fights in front of them if you want.”

“And blame them for our nonexistent problems?”

“Of course, I’m sure they will try to give their input either way.”

Damian groaned. He feared just that. It would be out of a place of care, he knew, but it didn’t make it less intrusive — he could picture Dick, sitting down in front of him in the cave, with a big smile and dangling his finger as he told him the way he was supposed to treat you.

He liked to imagine that Cassandra would only threaten him. Perhaps Stephanie would do the same and stop Tim from patronizing him.

Not wanting to ruin the moment by thinking what would Jason and Duke do, he shifted and changed the subject to the movie you had been watching earlier.

You explained that it had been one of your favorites and told him the plot between bites, amused by the fact that he was trying to look interested even though you knew it wasn’t his type of movie.

He told you about the movies the team was supposed to watch that day. You didn’t feel guilty for skipping; as much as you loved them, you needed time for yourself.

Spending time with Damian on this occasion counted as time for yourself, although you would make yourself clear to him that you would eventually need alone time for real. It was a mere exception.

The two of you walked around the park for a while, talking about random things. He was surprisingly easy to talk to once you tried, and God did you try.

It couldn’t get better than hearing him speak casually, about the architecture nearby and the types of flora around the park, in a light tone and with his hand in yours.

Your fingers played with his, and once again you found yourself in awe of him, of how comfortable he was with the mindless gesture and his willingness to keep up with it. You doubted someone would ever surprise you as much as Damian did.

Slowing down a little bit to take the scenery in, you naturally tightened the grip of your fingers on his.

It was such a nice day to be outside… perhaps the weather cast had been wrong and it wouldn’t rain.

The city was bathed in a pink glow as the sun set, unrecognizable. No one would have guessed such scenery to take place in a deeply violent and corrupted place, not even the most optimistic person in the world.

You remembered clearly how surprised Jon had been the first time he saw something other than thundering rain and gray skies in Gotham.

Glittering under the sunlight, the flowers at the end of the playground looked alive for once as the sky stunned many around you. And when you turned to look at Damian, curious about his reaction, you found his eyes solely on you.

The trees, so green under the light of dusk, had nothing on Damian’s eyes. Such thought, so familiar that you felt as though it wasn’t the first time it crossed your mind, so natural that you found it a fact and not an opinion, made you forget about everything around you.

He continued gazing at you, finding the curiosity in your beautiful eyes flattering. Oh, how much he enjoyed being the object of your attention.

The scenery behind you was gorgeous, he was certain of it. In his opinion, you complimented the view in ways nothing would ever do — there was something in your peaceful semblance as you tore your gaze off the sky and admired him instead.

You could’ve been sharing a silent moment with the strangers around you, one of those things he had heard you say once made the world make sense, yet your eyes were on him, on his face. And it made him feel important like nothing before had.

His father’s praises, the ones he had sought for so long were nothing in comparison. Dick’s patience although fundamental to his development as a man fell short against the way your eyes were shining for him.

Twilight swirled around you, but his eyes never left your face nor yours did his. The world didn’t exist, and if it existed, then it didn’t matter — not when you found him worth all your attention, not when he thought you to be brighter than the sun itself.

The air in the car as he drove you back to your place was thick and tense. He hadn’t said a word since he told you about that time Bruce inaugurated the school across the park.

Damian looked lost in thought, like often you had seen him while out on patrol. The places his mind took him had never compromised his performance — you admired that.

Bruce had called him out an infinite amount of times, but he couldn’t do anything else when Damian always delivered. You had wondered how he did it many times, but now you had to assume Talia taught him.

He walked you into the building, fingers brushing your wrist as you fell in natural silence.

Fumbling for your keys, you felt him lean onto the wall just next to your door. You took more time than needed to open the door, hoping he would say or do something.

When he didn’t, you pushed the door open and turned on your heel to face him.

“I had an amazing day with you,” he said, eyes on yours.

You breathed out, “I did too.”

Why couldn’t the day last longer? You logically knew you would see him again, but something inside you wanted him to stay. You wanted him to stay, better said.

Would it be too bold, too sudden, to invite him in? He probably had patrol that night — hell, you were supposed to be getting into your suit at that moment instead of pondering on whether you were brave enough to imply you wanted to spend more time with him; preferably in your room, naked.

Fuck it. If he said no, you would say you had patrol either way.

“Do you want to co—“

“Yes,” he answered before you could finish the question, letting a relieved sigh out.

You pulled him into the apartment, arm around his neck as you used your other hand to close the door.

His lips fell on yours as he kissed you slowly, arms delicately around your plump form. He took his time to map your lips with his own, somewhat afraid of kissing you wrong.

Damian grew confident as you attempted to kiss him more firmly, as steadily as your giddiness allowed you to. Tasting the fruit he had eaten earlier off his tongue, you wrapped your other arm around his torso, bringing him closer.

Smiling on your lips, he angled his face, kissing you with the same urgency he had the other night.

Eagerly, he tangled his tongue with yours until both of you were panting in search of air. As you caught your breath, Damian fiddled with the ends of your turtleneck.

Clearing his throat, he asked, “Can I take this off? It’s getting in the way.”

“I can take it off—“

“I would like to do it, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” you assured him.

Damian slid the turtleneck off you slowly, huffing a small laugh when the blouse you were wearing under inched up. Placing the item to the side, he leaned to kiss your jaw.

Placing your hands on his sides, you slanted your head upon feeling his lips travel down to your neck.

He kissed the bite-mark left from before, softly, giving it small pecks. “Did I go overboard with this one?”

“A little bit. It’s been a pain in the ass to cover.”

“I’ll be more careful from now on,” he promised, leaving more light kisses over the area.

Your pulse quickened at the implication of his words. Damian felt the rush of blood on your jugular where he scattered wet kisses.

He trailed his lips up, breathing in your ear. You shuddered, fighting a whine as your hands looked for the hem of his crewneck sweater.

You inched the sweater up to his chest and waited for him to stand straight so you would be able to take it off. Damian was too busy kissing your face to care.

“Hey,” you did whine this time. “Damian, let me take it off.”

Smirking on your cheek, he hummed. Slowly, painfully so, he pulled away from you.

Once you had gotten rid of the sweater, you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. He curled his arm around you again, wanting you flush against him.

He slid his hand down and took a handful of your ass, making you buckle your hips up. Dragging his lips to your jaw again, he said, “Your stupid suit didn’t let me do that last time.”

One of your hands stayed on his shoulder while the other landed on his hip. Your fingers played with the loops of his jeans as he continued gripping and grabbing your ass like he had never touched one.

Angling your face, you attached your lips to his neck. Damian’s grip on you tightened.

“I want to take it slow,” he whispered, “but you’re making it really hard.”

“Metaphorically?” You mouthed his throat, hand sliding down to his chest, squeezing itself between both your bodies.

“And literally,” he whined. You loved the sound, for once not demanding yet still bratty.

As your hand slipped downward, you continued kissing his neck, paying special attention to the juncture of his neck and shoulder. You hoped your lipstick wouldn’t dirty his shirt — or maybe you hoped it would, both were fine with you.

Damian put some space between you, understanding what you were trying to do. While you undid his jeans, he undid yours, considering it would be better to get rid of everything on his way now that he was still feeling patient.

Shoes and socks off, the two of you shed your jeans without care of where they landed. Now the living room’s floor truly was covered in scattered items of clothing and this time Damian enjoyed the view.

“Come here.” He reached for you, eyes on your chest as his hands ghosted your sides.

You looked up at him, unable to hide the enjoyment you got from his hungry eyes being all over you. Following their movements, you also observed their slow dilatation.

He inched a hand up your side. You assumed he would finally knead your breast but he merely ghosted its outline, head tilted as he watched his own hand move.

For a few moments, he only did that, almost as if he was in a trance. The warmth of your own palm on his lower abdomen as your fingers brushed the elastic of his boxers made him react.

You pushed him back, towards your bedroom, pulling the door open and shoving him inside. He smiled, lifting his arms in mock surrender.

Damian sat down on your bed, relishing into the smell of everything you owned — the bedding smelled like a mix of fabric softener and your delicious new heady perfume.

You got the urge to kiss his entire face, hands on his shoulders as he slanted his head back for you to do it comfortably. He relished on the gesture too, so spontaneous and warming.

He placed his hands on the backs of your thighs, urging you to straddle him. Watching you second guess yourself, he drew you closer to encourage you.

Giving a last kiss to his nose, you complied. Damian snaked his arms around your waist, a pleased smile pressing against your chin before he kissed your mouth.

You bit his lip, tugging on it. He crashed his lips against yours again just to then do the same himself, intentionally bitting harder than you had.

A moan escaped you. Feeling his cock twitch under your navel, you rocked your hips to watch his reaction.

His arms tightened around you as he tutted against your core. “This is the reason why I never train with you,” he groaned.

“I thought it was because I almost broke Tim’s leg once.”

“Don’t mention anyone else right now.”

Right. You had forgotten he had been jealous earlier.

Damian rolled over, switching places with you. He kissed you before you could pout, cradling your face with one hand while he held himself up with the other.

You placed a hand on his upper back while the other rested on the side of his neck, kissing him back with the same amount of passion he was kissing you.

He had you breathless in a matter of seconds, and as he broke the kiss, you saw his nostrils flare in attempts to catch his breath quickly.

Trailing kisses down your neck, he dropped his hand to your breast. This time he kneaded it, humming against your skin when you reacted with a small sound. His thumb brushed your nipple, playing with it while he busied himself with leaving marks on your chest.

So much for being careful, huh. At least those were easier to hide.

“Do you want me to eat you out?” He asked bluntly.

“If you’re in the mood.”

He kneeled on the bed, hooking his thumbs in your panties to slide them down. You lifted your hips to help him out, laughing when he threw your underwear behind him with little care.

You opened your legs for him, finding a comfortable position as he stayed there, taking all of you in, completely naked and at his mercy.

He kissed your thighs first, teasingly nibbling on them. Every time he got closer to the center, to where now you needed him instead of only wanting him, he pulled away and went back to your thigh.

Slowly, he dragged his index finger up and down your folds. Damian rested his chin on your right thigh as he watched his finger collect and smear your wetness, proud of the fact that he was the one who had made you wet. No one else.

Your breath hitched in expectant excitement as you saw him finally bury his head between your thighs. His tongue followed the same path his finger had outlined, at the same rhythm.

“You taste even better than I imagined,” he praised, licking his bottom lip clean.

As he gradually increased his rhythm, licking long stripes along your folds, you got bolder and urged him to be firmer by pushing your hips upward.

He moaned against your pussy, playfully sucking your labia to let you know he got the message.

Bringing an arm up to pin your hips back down, he used his other hand to open your legs a little bit more and part your labia.

Damian pressed his tongue on your clit, moving it gently at first. He wanted to know exactly what you liked and how. It didn’t take him long to switch between using his lips and his tongue which earned him a loud moan.

His hand caressed your thigh, eventually sliding between the mattress and your body to grab your asscheek.

You whined his name, reaching down to hold the back of his head. It was clear to you that he was enjoying every sound he managed to make you blurt, and it felt really good, but you needed more.

Out of nowhere, he tugged on your hips to slide you down the bed. Kneeling on the floor, he sucked fervently on your clit.

You fisted the duvet, begging him to keep going. Damian complied happily, mouth latched on your clit as your pussy swallowed his moans and the four walls of your bedroom made yours bounce.

They were music to his ears and his entire body. He could feel the tingling all over him, excitement and pride flowing through his bloodstream.

Massaging your ass, he couldn’t help but chuckle upon feeling both your hands on his head now. He allowed you to push his face farther in, not once slowing down.

Your hips bucked up and instead of restraining you, he moved with you. If you moved up he did down and vice versa. You got louder and he marveled at how responsive you were to him.

He growled, gripping your ass with force as he sucked on your clit until his cheeks were hollow. He let go only to repeat the motion, letting his tongue wander when he needed a break.

You tugged on his hair, squealing. Your body tensed in his grasp, prompting him to continue with his ministrations. Feeling the tremor in your legs as you tried to settle back down on the bed, he started lapping tenderly.

You caressed his hair, panting with your eyes closed. Damian lifted his head, hands softly dancing over your thighs as he stood up.

Feeling him hover over you, you opened your eyes albeit with a little difficulty. His mouth and chin glistened with your slick, wanton eyes inspecting your semblance.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” you rasped before clearing your throat.

He caressed your sweaty cheek. “Later.”

“Bu—“

He shut you up with a kiss. “Later, please? I just want to be inside you.”

Nodding against him, you kissed him again. Tasting yourself off his tongue was addictive. You held him still for a moment, licking your slick off his gorgeous face.

Damian growled, deep and loud this time, hands already on your waist. “Should I wear a condom this time?”

“No. Unless you want to?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want a single thing to keep him from feeling you fully. Damian stood from the bed. “Get on all fours.”

You rolled on your side first to then do as he had told you, holding your breath as you waited for him to stand behind you.

He rested a hand on your hip. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” you gave him your consent.

Damian entered you slowly, little by little, less worried about hurting you and more about making you feel every inch of him as his cock filled you.

You breathed out through a whine. He gave you time to adjust to his size, leaning to kiss the scar on your back.

Wanting to stay like that forever, you waited more than you should have to. If he was aware, he decided to be patient — such thing only made you grow wetter.

“Go ahead,” you told him, hoping you didn’t sound too desperate.

Reaching over, he gripped your hands. “You feel amazing, beloved.” He kissed your shoulder, nibbling on your skin as he rocked his hips.

God, you didn’t know if his comment had been what flattered you or the pet name. Either way, hearing them was as amazing as the way he felt inside you, filling you like no one before him had.

His hands left yours. He opted for placing them firmly on your hips and thrust into you steadily, keeping you from moving too much.

Humming in pleasure, you held the edge of the bed in anticipation. He went faster exponentially, calculating every single one of his thrusts.

Having control over his thrusts and the movement of your hips was nice and all, but he needed you closer.

Slapping your thigh, he croaked out, “On your back.”

You missed his girth the second he parted from you so you could change positions, it made you feel empty.

Damian helped you get comfortable, holding your thighs open before you got the urge to rub them. He smirked when you glared at him, hand leaving one of your legs to hold his cock.

He penetrated you again, bottoming out immediately as he made himself comfortable on top of you.

“Fuck, Damian!”

His hips snapped forward involuntarily. Both of you moaned at the same time, he pushed against your g-spot and you throbbed around him.

His movements were rougher like this, wilder. It was as though he wanted to prove a point to himself, you didn’t know which and you didn’t care as long as he fucked you like he needed to be inside you in order to be complete.

“Say my name again,” he rasped the command.

And how could you deny him? You repeated his name as many times as your moans allowed you like a broken chant.

Damian’s pace got quicker every time he heard his name fall from your lips, a tad uneven as he allowed himself to get lost in the pleasure the mix of everything was bringing him — your walls gripping his cock, your hoarse moans and the angelic way honey dripped from your voice when you called for him.

You dragged your nails all over his back, moaning and whimpering in his ear. He was so loud in your own ear, saying things in Arabic that you couldn’t understand in such a fervent tone that you weren’t sure if you would come because he was fucking you into oblivion or because of his strained voice.

Hearing your name slip in his prayer-like monologue, you cried out upon feeling your stomach get tighter. You clung to his shoulders, letting him ram into you in unsteady thrusts that went from slow to hammering in seconds.

His tongue slipped, Damian started switching between languages. Grip on you tightening to the point of being bruising, he begged, “I need you to come first, please. I— shit.” He dropped his head into the crook of your neck as you wrapped your legs around his hips, clenching around him.

You threw your head back, arching up to meet his latest thrust as your orgasm flew through you. Distantly, you processed a few of the sounds you were making and some of the ones you were elating from him.

Strings of hot cum covered your walls. He growled on your skin, saying your name and something you couldn’t really understand.

You let him ride off his orgasm inside you, hearing the mess he was making as the wet sounds from your slick and his cum mingled. His mouth covered yours in a tired kiss, lazy and with a hint of the tenderness he had put to the side even though his intentions had been different.

Once the two of you had caught your breaths and he had made an even bigger mess, you pulled the bedding off the mattress and threw everything into the washing machine.

He was all over you as the two of you shared a shower, so close that scrubbing off took you way longer than it should have.

In all honesty, you didn’t mind. You were too happy to complain about his annoying little antics that you couldn’t wait to get used to.

”Should we suit up?” You asked him, watching the water drip down his chest like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“They can manage without us for a night.”

“You want to skip patrol?”

Drying his arms, he copied your tone, “You don’t want to spend more time alone with me?”

“Of course I do,” you replied immediately. “But you love patrol.”

He stood still, somewhat stiff in front of you. “Not enough, it seems.”

You dropped the topic at that and went on with drying your body.

He only put his underwear back on while you slipped a pair of panties and a t-shirt, awkwardly trying to find something to change the topic.

“Do you want some ice cream? I have a tub in the freezer.”

“Sounds good.”

A nice moment you shared, silently eating ice cream. He sat close to you the entire time, brushing your side.

It felt natural, as though you were supposed to be doing that and not anything else. Patrol could wait, and his family, and your friends, and the entire world.

The world stopped so you two could enjoy the moment, the day. Or perhaps it didn’t and you just couldn’t bring yourself to give this up for it — but he couldn’t either and that meant everything to you.

Damian never skipped patrol, he hadn’t done it in the worst moments of his life and you never expected to see the day in which he would find something more worthwhile.

You found a clean sheet for the bed in the laundry room which saved you from having to squeeze yourself with Damian on the couch. Maybe it was time to get a bigger one.

He rested his head on your stomach, cheek against your belly as he looked up at you. You could tell he wanted to say something, his brow was ever so slightly furrowed, and his eyes seemed clouded by a thought. He looked pretty nonetheless.

He traced his fingers over your thigh, drawing little doodles. You could make some up by feel — a flower, a bat, his name, a few stars, his name again, an R inside a circle, a heart, his name for the third time.

“I think I would’ve broken my oath to my father if you had had someone over.”

You slid your hand off his hair to caress his cheek, too worried to hide your frown. Damian took his promises and oaths seriously, more seriously than anything else. You had seen his family use said thing against him.

“It wouldn’t have been worth it,” you tried to reason with him. “It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“Would you have gotten mad at me?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “It would’ve depended on a lot of things. Without context, obviously, but...” Realizing you were about to make up excuses for something that hadn’t even happened, you decided to ask, “Why are you still thinking about that?”

“I don’t want you to forget about me. Ever.”

“Are you planning to say goodbye or something of sorts?”

“No!” He glared at you for even considering such a thing to be a possibility after everything the two of you had talked about, after everything you had made him feel. ”But I...” Damian scoffed. “I can’t explain to you how horrible it felt. My eyesight clouded the moment Stephanie said it was time for you to start seeing someone.”

“Jealousy does that to us.” You tried to sound wise by saying it, an attempt you found quite pointless as you replayed it in your head.

Silently, he lifted his head off your stomach in order to lay down next to you. Shifting so he would be comfortable, you held your head up with your hand to properly gaze at him.

Damian mirrored your position. He told you, in a hushed tone like it was his deepest secret, “I felt like you were replacing me.”

Stephanie only had said that because it was the truth. Your relationships always fizzled out after the first two months so you had stopped trying. Then there was the fact that Damian himself had sabotaged who knows how many of them...

From her perspective, it made sense.

“Damian...” you trailed off, in vain. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me you won’t.”

“I won’t replace you as long as you don’t replace me.”

You thought he would find the comment insulting even though it was perfectly sound. But for God knows which time that day, Damian surprised you by scoffing with nonchalance.

Dismissing your worry, he slid closer to you, resting his forehead against your flexed arm. “I couldn’t possibly be happy without your perfume all over me.”

Grabbing him by the hair, you forced him to lift his head. His eyes found yours in a second, curious. You dropped your hand to his neck, sliding it up to his cheek.

Giving him the sweetest kiss you had ever given, tracing the side of his gorgeous face tenderly, you hoped you were doing a good job expressing what you wanted to communicate.

You were. He gave you in return the brightest smile you had seen in your entire existence. It was all for you, something you had caused, something you wanted to see for the rest of your life.

Damian pulled you onto his chest, laying on his back. He mindlessly ran his fingers over your side and up and down your back while you listened to his steady heartbeat.

You couldn’t possibly feel complete without him ever again.

[kailspider]

Lil' Theif

(Sam Winchester x Reader)

Prompt: As the Winchester boys and (y/n) travel all over that sometimes leads them to share necessities.

Warnings: mentions of sexual tension/further sexual actions, mentions the smell of cigarretes, partial naked dean and sam?

AN: I think you guys will love this one, i dont know how i got this idea but i knew i had to write about it.

(No one's POV)

Apart of the job is constantly trying to find new work wherever it may take us, this time it was Las Vegas. Sin city always has the whole load case when it comes to the supernatural. We checked into a small motel just across from a Denny's. By the time the hunt was completed we were covered in aches and bruises. Not to mention this demon left behind a horrible odor, worse than usual that soaked into our skin.

As Dean pulled the car around the back of the motel, Sam and (Y/N) waited in the front lobby for him. The smell of cigarettes and the sound of elvis could be heard above us in a tiny speaker attached to the ceiling. The front desk attendant probably assumed we were out of our minds seeing us in our "after- hunt state".

The bell that sat on the door made a jingle sound, signifying someone had walked in. Dean looked exhausted, Sam had offered to drive the remainder of the way but you know how he is with baby.

(Y/N'S POV)

"Dean, what took you so long? i'm starving man"

I said obviously to mess with him. He looked up at me and shot me these daggers in his eyes, I laughed grabbing my backpack along with Sam's since I lost a rock-paper-scissor match in the car. As Sam grabbed the key to the room I started slugging along the heavy backpack, I love the man but damn what did he have in here.

Sam like a little kid ran past me in a gust of wind, then followed by dean who was trying to beat him to the door. Just our luck the motel only had one room left with two beds, so that means for however long we remain here I will be stuck in a room with these two knuckleheads.

I finally made it to the door a few minutes after them, the room was cold and smelled exactly like the lobby. I could hear the shower running already and made eye contact with Dean who was already spread out on the bed closest to the air conditioner. I sighed and dropped the bags on the other bed.

Dean looked up when he heard my loud indicator of exhaustion,

"Chop Chop kid, this is why I don't play that game with Sammy." he laughed and went back to laying down flat.

Now it was my time for staring, I plopped onto the wobbly bed trying to rest my eyes for a quick minute. The shower shut off and that was my cue to lay back against the headboard. I grabbed the tv remote quickly turning it on to find something for background noise.

The white bathroom door opened and the steam was so bad that I could feel the heat sticking to me. The scent of nature, almost pine and sandalwood filled my nostrils immediately. I turned my attention to the big figure standing in the hallway

Sam had walked out in nothing but jeans, no shirt, and a towel for his wet hair. He was moving his hands in a back and forward motion attempting to dry his hair, showing off the muscle definition of his arms and literally everywhere else.

I was trying not to imagine what would've happened if he had forgot his clothes accide- woah snap out of it. I am in love with him but he does not need to know this just yet. I didn't even realize I was staring for so long until i heard a devious laugh from the right side of me.

Of course, someone did take notice. This devil's name was dean. He had noticed almost immediately the trance I was in because of the sight before me. He shot up and quickly ran to the bathroom for his shower turn. Before I could object that I wanted to go first, he had locked the door. Now, it was just me and the half naked Sam.

I won't lie, I am sweating bullets. He not only walked over to my bed where I was spread out, but he also sat down throwing the towel he had to the side and watched whatever the remote landed on. His laughs filled the room at the rom-com on the television, my view was now the muscular and wide back of this man.

As a way to distract myself, I was getting up to gather my clothes from the bag on the floor. I noticed sam had laid back with both hands behind his head. His body was now closer to where I was, giving me a better view and a stronger smell of his wash. It was enchanting, I quickly finished grabbing my clothes and had a plan to bang on the door until dean got out. As I turned to head towards the door, I tripped on dean's bag dropping my graphic t-shirt and underwear onto sam who looked fast asleep.

I mentally wanted to scream and take off out of the room, but it's okay no one saw. I was slowly reaching for my stuff, not even realizing the shower had shut off. I managed to get the shirt but the underwear was on his jean area. I managed to push down my embarrassment and slowly reached for the-

*Bathroom door opens*

"Well, well, well kid. You just couldn't resist yourself while I was in the shower, I can't believe you had the balls to do it first considering sam here-" he was louder than usual and had awoken a napping Sam.

Sam opened his eyes to see his brother in only a towel around his v-line, and his other best friend stopped in motion above his jeans where your underwear had fell. He immediately saw the situation and blushed hurriedly getting up. Grabbing your underwear like it was cursed object and handing it to me.

The only thing that could be heard now was an annoying laughing dean. I immediately made my way to the shower with no words and tried to stay in there forever, but my skin was shriveling so I had to get out. I walked out in actual clothes unlike some of these people, and noticed the winchester boys whispering. I didn't like it, not one bit. The room fell silent and I just looked skeptical at them.

The silence was broken by dean coughing who was now fully dressed,

"this room is truly the life of the party, well I want food so I will go pick something up, you and sam wait here until I get back" he motioned grabbing his keys and sam's wallet. I turned around to watch dean already halfway out the door, he turned back, winked and left.

I HATE HIM. i cannot believe he would do this, I slowly turned back around to stare at the other brother whom was staring at me as well. I laughed awkwardly and made my way to the other bed. The tv was showing the flintstones and somehow I wish i was in tv land and not here.

Sam kept shifting in his seat across the room, then stood up and walked towards me. He stared at me until I had to acknowledge his presence. My eyes slowly moved up his abs and found myself avoiding his gaze.

He cleared his throat,

"(Y/N), when have you ever sat across the room for me. Come sit down with me i'm not going to bite. I mean unless you want me to" he sneered.

This was not my sam. What did dean do to him? Could he have told sam about my crush?

Sam was still staring at me waiting for an answer, I looked up and said,

"Well why don't you come lay over here? effort goes two ways you know"

Wrong choice of words. All of a sudden his big frame was crawling over me to get to the other side. The bed dipped causing me to roll more to the left than I'd like causing me to meet into his side. I moved quickly back to my resting state, with now sam at my side.

Awkward silence filled the space between us, it was never like this. He's my best friend and I couldn't believe how nervous I was. I placed my hands to the side of my body so I could relax a little but found my hand touching his at an angle I didn't dare to look at. I moved my hand away but all of a sudden felt him put it back down to where it was.

When I turned to say something, Sam had been staring at me for I don't know how long. As in an affection stare, but he couldn't right? until he confirmed it,

"how are you so beautiful, when you're so nervous princess" he said softly as if he only wanted my ears in the entire world to hear it.

My ears turned crimson red, along with my cheeks, not to mention my heart jumping to a sky high limit. I didn't believe a thing I just heard. I didn't want to face him so I looked away but was stopped by a large hand turning me back around to face him once again. He leaned in real close when it looked like he took a deep whiff of the air surrounding him.

He had searched for the smell, but couldn't place it. He picked up a strand of my hair and it was like a slot machine winning. He smirked slightly and motioned my head closer to him,

I bent down and heard him say,

"You're a lil thief you know that? using my favorite shampoo and conditioner. I never thought I would be so attracted to this scent on someone else." he said in a very husky voice.

I was in complete silence, so many things ran through my head at once. I decided to play along before I chickened out, I bent my head at a slight angle to stare him in the face. Sam had beat me to it once again,

"From now on, only you are allowed to use my bathroom essentials, and when you do so I want you to wear my clothes to bed only. Got it?" he said waiting for a response.

I nodded my head in a quick reassurance. We both were having fun with this new feeling we both discovered together. I spoke up finally,

"How much time do you think we have before dean gets back?"

[imaginethathaikyuu]

kinktober - day one

akaashi keiji - friends to lovers 

kinktober faq kinktober prompt list  

NSFW warning featuring: fingering, dry humping, first time together, unprotected sex other tags: lots of exposition, too many words, years long pining, accidental almost confession, emotional real one, mentions of characters having previous partners, oblivious reader, hidden feelings, slight angst, oh no there’s only one bed!  fem reader

word count: 7380

-

Akaashi Keiji knows everything. 

At least, he seems to. 

You realized this only a month after knowing him. He turned around to you, the girl who sat behind him in biology, and gave you one look before saying, “You have no idea what this lesson is about, do you?” And you laughed, because it was so absurdly true, while Akaashi turned his desk around and introduced himself as your study partner. 

You still don’t know how he knew you were struggling. You thought you hid it well, but his eyes must have caught the poor grade on the quiz the teacher returned to you the week before, or the way you seemed to immediately sulk the moment you walked into the classroom. He could see everything you tried to hide - even things you couldn’t see yourself.

And he wouldn’t let you get away with anything but a stellar grade, so study sessions became routine for the two of you - a friendship was destined to bloom, and fast. 

He was too observant for his own good, which was something you learned while watching one of his volleyball practices. He had been inviting you to come watch after study sessions for awhile, but it took you a bit to work up the nerve to walk into the giant gymnasium filled with boys you didn’t know. 

As you watched him play, you saw his superpower: Akaashi’s eyes were everywhere at once. On the ball, on his teammates, on his opponents, on his own feet - he always knew where everyone was at any given moment, all while somehow managing to spare you a few knowing glances during the mess of the game.

You never knew how he did it, but you figured you didn’t have to know. It was because he was Akaashi, and that’s it. 

But you questioned why no one else seemed to notice it. His excellence was obvious to you, but even his closest friends seemed to gloss over it. 

Keiji stood out to you, while to others, he was just Akaashi. Quiet, reserved, sometimes as blunt as a hammer, Akaashi. 

He didn’t care, though. Akaashi thrived on being in the background - he didn’t need any of the attention or recognition you wished to give him. And maybe he loved his friends more because they left him be. 

Those friends of his, however, all shined just as bright as Keiji did, and were never shy about it. You look back at getting to know them all as a highlight of being in high school; despite never feeling like you belonged in their friend group, you were always happy to be with them. 

Keiji pushed you to get closer to the three boys, Tsukishima, Bokuto, and especially Kuroo, right from the first day you met them. They were playing a friendly volleyball game with a few other boys you never really met, and you quickly learned you had no reason to be nervous to meet them. 

It was easy to let go and goof off, because that’s all any of them were doing, anyway. 

Just because it seemed like fun to get under Kuroo’s skin, you decided to antagonize him a bit. “So, Nekoma’s mascot is a cat, correct?” 

Kuroo immediately grew defensive at your tone. “Yes - what do you have against cats?” 

“Nothing, nothing! I like to think of myself as pretty cat-like, actually.” 

“Show him your claws, Y/N,” Keiji chimed in. 

“They’re nimble, and sneaky... and lazy. Something that owls aren’t - just saying. Seems pretty fitting when comparing your team to ours, don’t you think?” 

“Akaashi, you better get your cat,” Kuroo grumbled, with a sly smirk that never seemed to leave his face. 

“She’s just a kitten,” Akaashi replied, winking at you and immediately taking your breath in a way you’d never felt before. “Not my kitten, though, so you’re on your own here, Kuroo.” 

That’s when the first wall came up. You didn’t notice it, not yet, or even realize why it had been built. But as soon as your heart sank to your stomach and erupted into butterflies all because of Keiji’s flirtatious gesture, that wall arose. 

And many would follow. 

On the walk home from that practice, you noticed every glance he sent you. Every time his shoulder touched yours, you felt it amplified. Your knuckles grazed his and you looked down at your hands - his much bigger than yours, your fingers raring to wrap around his. And they were going to, either out of curiosity or the blatant need to touch him or both, until he stuffed both of his hands into his pockets and away from your potential grasp. 

You shook your disappointment off and reminded yourself of what the two of you were: friends. Just friends. Friends only hold hands sometimes, and it’s not on walks home or during study sessions or any of the times you found yourself wanting to hold onto him. 

“Kuroo likes you,” Akaashi said out of nowhere. And you laughed. 

“You think so?” 

“I’m pretty sure.” He sounded distant, his gaze was head on. “Maybe you should give him a chance.” 

You laughed again and said, “Maybe,” even though you knew you’d never entertain the thought of going out with Kuroo. 

Not with Kuroo or anyone else, but you wouldn’t understand why for a long time. 

Two years of friendship had come and gone in almost an instant, but every day with Akaashi was memorable in that easy familiar way only he could offer. He truly was your comfort - everything you needed in a friend, Keiji had. Being so close to him was a blessing, you knew that. 

When the two of you ended up choosing the same university, you almost wanted to cry, because you knew nothing could quell your fears of what’s new better than Keiji’s all knowing familiarity. Having your best friend by your side during times of change would make everything easier.

But it was a different story entirely when you became roommates with him. The apartment you shared was small but homey; it had all the comfort you had in your friendship with him, and you thought nothing could be better than that. 

It was more than that, though. Months went by of seeing him every day, and it felt like that comfort was leaking through the floor every time you saw his bedhead or heard him singing in the shower or watched him pull another girl into his bedroom. 

It wasn’t like the latter was an often occurrence, but just the thought of him being with someone made your stomach turn. But it gave you the idea of seeking your own partners, which was something you hadn’t done in years, and it quickly spiraled into an unhealthy habit. 

You longed for familiarity, to be touched by someone you knew. You were desperate for comfortable vulnerability, and you never found that with a stranger in your bed. So, you decided to seek out someone familiar. And when the person in bed with you was an old friend, a realization dawned on you. Rather, it was offered to you. 

“What are you doing, Y/N?” Kuroo mumbled, and you did nothing but send him a questioning glare, one he scoffed at. 

The two of you had done nothing so far but send a few flirty texts and then sit on your bed; he hadn’t even kissed you yet. You weren’t sure how you felt about it - you weren’t sure if you even wanted him to kiss you. 

“I’m not the one you want here, idiot. So why am I the one you brought to your bed?” 

“I don’t know what you mean,” you replied honestly. “Are we going to -” 

“No, we aren’t. Are you really that dense?” 

“What?” 

“Look,” Kuroo said, standing up and pinching the bridge of his nose as if he was annoyed that he had to be saying this. And while you watched him, you noticed this was the first time you ever saw him without his signature grin or sly eyes. “If I was a shitty friend, I would have fucked you back in high school, alright? I mean, come on, I had the chance. But I care about Akaashi too much to ever do that with you, and I know you don’t actually want to fuck me.”

You stood up, too, facing him head on. “What does Akaashi have anything to do with fucking me, Kuroo?” 

“Everything, idiot. I know you probably think you’re good at hiding it, but everyone knows you’re as in love as you could possibly be with that smartass.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, because you didn’t, but Kuroo wasn’t having it. 

“Well you’re the only one you’ve convinced. And, for the record, this isn’t going to help you get over him.” 

Still, you didn’t get it. You couldn’t see it - you refused to. 

“You’re off limits, dude, Akaashi told us himself.” 

“Then why are you here?” 

His annoying grin was back. “To see how delusional you really are. And give you some advice. Just admit it to yourself - you’ll feel better, I promise.” 

Keiji was your best friend, and that was it. 

This wasn’t some story of years long pining and unrequited love. 

Was it? 

But you thought about it, for just a moment. You thought about being in love with him. 

And then you couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

You decided, right then and there, that what Kuroo said wasn’t true; admitting it to yourself didn’t make anything better. In a lot of ways, your friendship with Akaashi thrived on your special feelings for him, and it relied on those feelings staying secret to both of you. 

You couldn’t even finish the conversation with Kuroo. He swore not to tell, because you made him, and that was it. 

That’s when the second wall came up, then the third, then the fourth. You were trapped inside of them. Hiding, only hiding, and safe from anyone who could see you or your heart. 

You denied it still, even though Kuroo knew, just to convince yourself he didn’t. No one knew but you; the only one who knew the password to that door was you. You could be hidden, safe, and protected forever, because you made it that way. 

Keiji would never know, and everything would stay okay. 

Everything but you. And that security wouldn’t last, because a storm was brewing. 

But you were content. What you had with Keiji was always enough for you - you had enough. You saw him every day. You got to hear his laugh on the good days and hug him on the bad ones; you got to have coffee with him every morning and secret late night snacks too many midnights. Sleeping alone was fine. Not getting intimate moments was okay. What you had was enough. 

It seemed like the more you recognized your feelings for him, the more of Keiji you saw. You were still getting to know him after years of calling him your best friend; you were noticing his habits that you never saw before. He mumbles to himself while he cooks; he picks at his nails when he’s nervous; he overthinks everything, even the smallest decisions. 

The latter had always been obvious, but you had never realized it until you lived with him - until you really started to love him. 

Every day, you learned something new about him. And every day, you loved him more, in ways you didn’t even know you could. Ways that made it hard to love him from afar.

Months of your love growing during your first year of university seemed to go by too quickly, and soon spring break was fast approaching. A trip with old friends to a lake house was planned months in advance, and both you and Keiji were excited to see the three boys again. 

But when you arrived at the old looking house that evening you were met with knowing eyes and a sly grin that hadn’t changed since high school. 

“There are only four beds,” Kuroo announced, “and five of us.”

“That’s alright,”  Keiji started, but he was interrupted by Bokuto’s loud laugh. 

“Oh, I guess we’re sharing a bed, four eyes!” 

“I’ll suffocate you in your sleep,” Tsukishima said, meaning every word he said in a way that made Kuroo cackle. 

Keiji looked at you. “You don’t mind sharing with me, do you?” 

A million thoughts ran through your mind, but you only shook your head. You didn’t voice any of the concerns you had for yourself. 

“No problem.” 

He gave you a grin. “It’ll be like our high school sleepovers,” and then he took your bag and left to find your shared room. 

You remembered the last sleepover you had with him and your heart raced just thinking about it; you spent half of the night pretending to be asleep, and the other half watching Keiji’s sleeping face and wondering why laying next to him made you feel the way it did. 

This would be the exact same, except now you knew why your heart would be pounding. 

Kuroo was still laughing, but he was looking directly at you. “Are you sure it’s not a problem?” 

“Shut up, Kuroo.” 

He kept laughing, and it left Bokuto scratching his head. “What’s going on? Why are you mad, Y/N?” 

“Because Kuroo is an asshole -” 

“Hey now, I’m doing you a favor here!”

“...I still don’t get it.” 

“You never will, Bokuto,” Tsukishima commented. 

You decided to leave Kuroo laughing on his own - you shouldn’t let him get under your skin, because that’s exactly what he wanted to do. He was doing this on purpose. Maybe he thought he was helping you out, but he was only making things harder for you. 

You weren’t going to let him win. You were going to have fun on this trip while keeping our secret seeled, and nothing would stop you - not even Kuroo attempting to play matchmaker. 

The late arrival called for a quick dinner and a nighttime bonfire to kick off the vacation the right way; the boys were all too excited for the night and had gotten the fire started before you could even finish unpacking your bag. 

When you stepped outside, the cool air hit your skin and froze you all over - you expected low temperatures, but not that. 

“It’s cold!” you called out to the boys who were all sitting around the nearby campfire. 

“That’s why we have a fire, moron!” 

“It’s still cold,” you argued, even though you knew it was fruitless to fight with Kuroo.

“It’s alright, you’ll warm up,” Keiji told you. 

“Go warm her up, Akaashi!” 

You ignored Kuroo’s comment - you were not in a good place to be entertaining that thought, not when you’d be in bed with Keiji in just a few hours. 

Keiji seemed to ignore it, too. “Here, I saved you a seat.” He patted the vacant spot on the bench next to him, and you sat down. “You didn’t bring a jacket, did you?” 

“It’s inside,” you replied. “But I’m fine.” 

He didn’t even listen to your response, he was already pulling his hoodie off and giving it to you. 

“Are you sure?” you asked, holding it in your lap.

“Yes,” he replied. “It’ll keep you warm - you need it more than I do.” 

“How romantic,” Kuroo butted in, and it was only now that you noticed the beer in his hand - as well as the few empty cans next to him. 

Drunk Kuroo is always worse than Sober Kuroo, even though you could hardly believe he could ever get snarkier. It was like alcohol made him open his big mouth more, and it always made you nervous. Even though you knew he’d never say anything about your secret while anyone else was around, any time alcohol was involved made those chances go up.

“Just being nice,” Keiji said, obviously playing in to Kuroo’s banter. “I don’t see you offering her your jacket.” 

“Hey, I just don’t think you’d like it if I gave your girl my jacket, would you?” 

Keiji laughed at his slurred words and directed his reply at the group rather than to Kuroo, “He’s only had five beers and he’s already stuttering.” 

“We’ll see if he makes it to six before passing out,” you said, and while it made the others laugh, it seemed to rub Kuroo’s drunken fragile ego the wrong way. 

“I can handle my alcohol just fine, thank you.” 

Bokuto butted in, “Are you sure about that?” 

“You’ve been a lightweight since high school,” you added. 

Everyone laughed, Kuroo included. With his next words, he must have thought he was playing along with the joke. That you were all in on what he was about to say next. That they would have no repercussions, they would sting no ears. 

But when he said them, it sounded like a smack of thunder. 

“Yeah, and you’ve been hiding your feelings since high school - some things just never change, Y/N!” 

You could hardly hear Bokuto saying, “Feelings? For who?!”

“For Aka -”

“Kuroo.” 

You stood up. Keiji’s forgotten hoodie fell out of your lap and landed on the ground. Everything was quiet save for the fire cracking and the pounding of your heart. 

Your eyes said everything you needed to tell Kuroo. He stared right back at you, his face white as snow and his mouth hung open as he choked back his words. Nobody spoke. Nobody moved. It was the calm before a fast approaching storm, one you couldn’t run away from. 

“You weren’t going to say Akaashi, were you? Surely not…” 

Kuroo turned his head to look at Bokuto, seeming to have no clue what to say. You kept staring as he shook his head, not having the courage to say anything else. 

“Pretty sure he was,” Tsukishima said.

“Oh. Shit.” 

You could have denied it - you didn’t. You could have been angry at Kuroo - you weren’t. You could have explained this away as him being drunk and talking out of his ass - you couldn’t. 

You didn’t dare turn to look at Keiji as you stormed toward the cabin. You refused to stay and let this situation become worse than it already was. 

You could hardly hear the words Keiji had for Kuroo, but they were something like, “Why the fuck did you do that?” and if you had been any less upset you would have been worried for how angry he sounded. 

You didn’t know what would happen next. If you thought about it, you were sure you’d fall apart, and that was the one thing you couldn’t let happen. You had to hold yourself together, you had to give this situation the benefit of the doubt. 

Maybe if you could just lie down and sleep before Keiji comes inside, you could wake up in the morning and everyone would act like nothing happened. Just because your secret is out doesn’t mean it was over - you could wait out this storm. 

That’s what you were doing when Keiji came into your shared bedroom. You lied in bed as Keiji slipped in, your back to him and the blanket pulled up to your chin. And, just like at those old sleepovers with him, you were pretending to be asleep.

You had to be good at pretending if you wanted to stay best friends with him. To be as close as you are, with the feelings that you keep for him, you learned how to hide from Keiji. And you had gotten good at it, too - at least, you liked to think so. You were sure he wouldn’t catch you awake. 

You tried not to think about what happened earlier. You tried not to dread what was coming if he knew you weren’t actually sleeping. 

Minutes passed and Akaashi stayed awake. Then, he looked over to you. 

“I know you’re awake.” 

Everything felt frozen, just for a moment, but you didn’t move. You kept your breathing deep and steady, you lied still. 

He reached a hand out to you, fisting your shirt into his palm. His thumb grazed your lower back, skin he exposed from grabbing your shirt. 

“Stop pretending. You’re bad at it.” 

It was like the world stopped spinning. Your world, anyway - the one you had made up in your head. The world where the only things Keiji didn’t know were all the things you were trying to hide from him; the world where, despite never being a good liar, you were good at lying to him. 

But that wasn’t the same world Keiji was living in.

“I know,” you replied, voice cracking through the words. 

You were sure he didn’t mean what he said in the way you felt it sting your chest, but it didn’t matter. Years of learning, hiding, pretending were all culminating in this moment, and if you weren’t careful you’d end up losing it all. 

His hand moved from your back to holding your side. “Will you look at me?” And you didn’t have a choice, because he was turning you to lay on your back, anyway. 

So you looked at him, because it’s what he asked you to do, and you felt the first crack in your poorly built foundation when you realized how close he was to you; then, he put his hand on your side and pulled you even closer.

It’s like he was looking through you. 

“I should tell you something,” he said, and you had some idea where he was going with this but you didn’t want to find out. No part of you wanted to hear what he was about to say. 

“You know… I already knew, Y/N.” 

There it was: the collapse. 

You couldn’t look at him anymore, so you closed your eyes and tried to keep pretending, even though you had nowhere left to hide. 

“Yeah.” The hand on your side was hot and heavy and hard; you hated how much you loved being touched by him, even right now when your made up world was ending. “I know.” 

“I’ve always known.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

You were so close to letting go, to breaking down in the pile of rubble. But you had built your house of lies on unsteady ground, after all; what else did you expect to happen other than this destruction? 

You wanted to cry. You didn’t. You couldn’t be angry at yourself or upset, because you saw this coming. After all, Keiji knows everything. He sees things you don’t even know are showing - he’s been able to read you like a book since before he even knew your name. 

Of course he knew. You were stupid to ever think he didn’t. 

He whispered your name, and then you felt him kiss your forehead. 

“I’m sorry,” you said again, meaning it with your whole heart even though you knew it wouldn’t change anything. 

“I should tell you something else,” he said, and it was quiet, like he was telling you a secret only you could know. He was treading carefully, choosing his words particularly - he didn’t do that often. You felt him bunching your shirt up in his fist again, you heard him sigh loudly. “I don’t even know how to say it.” 

The tears were finally slipping free as you began to understand what he was getting at, so you pulled back. You didn’t need him to pity you. 

“It’s fine,” you insisted, trying to push him away. He wouldn’t let you. “I know - I’ll get over it - you don’t have to tell me - I already know.” 

“No, you don’t - you don’t know, Y/N, please, just come here.” 

“Keiji -” 

“Let me show you.” He wasn’t speaking quietly anymore - this wasn’t a secret anymore. “I can’t explain it - let me show you, Y/N - please.” 

“Show me what?” 

“That I feel the same,” he said, pulling you back into his arms. 

For a second, you thought you misheard him.

And then, he kissed you. 

Soft, sweet, new lips were on yours, taking your breath as if he needed it to breathe himself, then breathing a new life into you that you never knew could be alive. It was like striking a match, flicking a lighter, starting a fire; you watched the rubble of your once hidden love burn, all at the hands of Keiji. 

At first you didn’t even know how to kiss him back. It was too much, too bright, too hot - and then, you couldn’t stop kissing him. You anchored your hands on the back of his neck and held him against you, silently begging him to let you take all that you wanted from him. 

You kissed him like you’d never get the chance to do this again, because you were sure you wouldn’t. This hardly felt real, let alone something that would ever happen more than once. So you savored it, you memorized this feeling so you could relive it in your dreams forever. 

A whimper reverberated through your throat and against Keiji’s lips and the feeling made him kiss you deeper, like he was searching for a way to get you to make that noise again. As the kiss got deeper, a natural progression came over your position; before you could realize it, Keiji was on top of you and lying between your legs. 

His touch was hotter than a flame and yet you couldn’t get enough of it. Every time his tongue brushed against yours, it took a part of you with it, and you were ready to give him all of you. 

And then, he stopped kissing you. 

He pulled back only slightly, and when you chased his lips he pulled back even more. You opened your eyes and stared up at him, at his blushed cheeks and pink lips and beautiful eyes. You could see the cogs in his mind turning and for a second it was like you were seeing a part of Keiji he’s never shown you before; the veil of his all knowing gaze was being dropped, only because he was letting it. 

Because all this time, Keiji was hiding, too - hiding in plain sight. You always thought he treated you the way he treated everyone else, that he knew everything about everyone, but it wasn’t true. He only knew all of your secrets because he took the time to find them. He only saw you for who you really were because he cared enough to know. And, unlike you, he was a good actor; good at pretending you weren’t special; good at building walls that would stay up until he was ready for them to come down. 

And with his next words, he made them shatter. 

“I love you.”  

You kept staring at him, trying to figure out if this nervous boy on top of you really was Keiji. 

“Really?” 

He nodded. 

“Say it again.” 

“I love you.” 

You brushed his hair out of his face and rested your hand on his cheek, still completely in awe of him, and this was all too much for you to believe. “Is this a prank?” 

He laughed at you, and his nerves seemed to melt away. 

“Damn, you caught me.” His forehead fell to rest on yours, your noses brushed. “No, it’s not a prank. I love you.” 

Somehow this intimacy felt all too foreign and way too familiar, all at once. It was overflowing, your heart was racing, it was hard to breathe, tears were falling from your eyes. 

“Say it again,” you whispered, begging him to assure you of this - to make you believe it. 

And he wiped your tears away as he told you, again, “I love you,” and the kiss he placed on your cheek seemed to make you weep even more. “And I should’ve told you sooner. I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” you replied immediately, “I love you, too - it’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay.” It was obvious, now, that this had been bothering Keiji for longer than you could ever know. “I just… wasn’t ready. Especially with volleyball, and then moving, and then starting university, I just - I never had enough of me to give to you. And you deserve all of me, not just what’s left of me at the end of the day - I don’t know. I’m just… sorry.” 

You didn’t know how to reply to that in a way that was good enough - all you could think to do was kiss him, because you finally could kiss him, so you did. And it was the same as your first: hot and sweet, familiar and foreign, intimate and overwhelming. 

And the more you kissed him, the more it stirred something up inside of you. He wasn’t holding back - not after holding back for years - and it was like he was trying to get any reaction he could out of you. You hooked your legs around his waist and pulled him closer than he’s ever been, and the way it felt to have him pressed up against you sent chills across your burning skin. 

You pulled back from the kiss just to take a breath. “Say it again,” you mumbled, because you weren’t tired of hearing those three words yet. A part of you still didn’t believe them.

Instead of saying them, though, he let his kisses trail down your jaw and onto your neck. You could feel the vibrations of his voice when he spoke, “Let me show you.” 

And you knew what he meant, but you teased him anyway, “How do you want to do that?”

His hips seemed to move on their own free will, thrusting against you as if he couldn’t stop them. And it proved that he was just as in over his head as you were; you liked that. You liked knowing you weren’t the only one in a daze. You liked having this effect on Keiji. 

“However you want,” he said through a dry throat. “We can do anything you want.” 

“I just want you,” you told him honestly. You had no other choice anymore - the truth was all you had left. 

“You have me,” he replied. “I’m yours - just let me show you.” 

Your next kiss was interrupted by his shirt coming off, then yours. You felt his bare skin against yours and you were sure this was enough, that you were content with just this. This feeling was all that you needed. 

“You’re pretty,” he whispered to you as his eyes scanned your bare body, and it left you shaking in anticipation as his lips made their way to your chest. “The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” 

Your eyes couldn’t leave his face as your fingers carded through his hair; you felt his hands travel the length of your body, and every kiss he left on your skin felt like it was touching your heart - all you could do was watch. 

His hand moved lower, his fingers were teasing the edge of your shorts, but he hesitated to cross the barrier. You grabbed his wrist and pushed him across it, showing him that you couldn’t wait for this. 

That’s all Keiji needed to understand how far you were willing to go with him. His skilled fingers worked against you, slipping into your underwear and touching you exactly where you needed them to, and it was better than anything you could ever dream. 

And he did it like it was easy, like he’s spent years getting to know your body and he was doing what he knew would work. Like this was routine rather than your first time. 

This sure as hell felt like it was your first time doing this; you had never felt so sensitive or open or vulnerable. But you had never been touched by a man you wanted so much; you never thought you’d feel his fingers spreading you open or see him on top of you - this is something you’ve only done in daydreams, and now it was real. 

For the first time you were vulnerable and okay with it. You were letting him have all of you, and you trusted that he would treat you right. And he was. Maybe it was your love for him or the disbelief of the situation or both clouding your judgement, but you were convinced that his fingers felt better than your own. 

“Is this okay?” he asked in a whisper, and you replied with a moan that you couldn’t hold in anymore. He laughed, “Does that mean yes?” 

“Keiji, please don’t tease.” 

“I’m not teasing yet,” he replied with a few kisses along your jaw. You felt his fingers moving more, moving toward going inside, but he hesitated. “Y/N…” 

You were pulled out of your daze for just a second as you looked up at his furrowed brows and half lidded eyes; his face left you wondering what he was about to say next. 

“I really like the sounds you’re making,” he said, “but if anyone hears we’ll never hear the end of it.” 

You laughed, because you had completely forgotten that you and Keiji weren’t the only two people in the world - let alone this house. 

“Right,” you breathed out. 

“I’ll give you anything you ask for, but you…” 

Two of his fingers slid into you, and you held back a gasp. 

“...have to stay quiet. Can you do that for me?” 

You nodded, trying your best to take deep breaths rather than let your voice out. 

“Yeah?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you replied, giving another nod. 

“Good,” he said. 

His fingers curled, and you covered your mouth with your palm. 

“Stay quiet,” he said, even though it felt like he was doing everything he could so you’d do the opposite. His fingers curling into you were begging for a reaction, and it was hard not to give him one. “Fuck, you’re so hot.” 

Keiji’s hips were moving again, thrusting against your leg like he just couldn’t help it. You wanted to give him more but you couldn’t - your hands were busy covering your mouth and holding onto the sheets for your life, and so all you could do was watch him grinding against you. 

“You’re one to talk,” you replied, making him laugh. 

Both of you looked down and watched; the curl of his fingers moved in time with his thrusts against you - every time they came forward, you felt his length sliding up your thigh. And when he pulled back, his fingers straightened out. 

You’d give anything to have more. “Keiji,” you started, but you just couldn’t get the words out. 

He said them for you as he pulled his fingers out, “Can I fuck you?” 

You had no other answer besides, “Please,” and you were ready to beg for it if that’s what it came to. 

He started to pull his boxers off, but again, he hesitated. The arm he was holding himself up with was trembling, his breathing was unsteady, his entire body seemed tense. Keiji was hanging on by a thread. 

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked.

You were taken aback. “Keiji…” 

“We don’t have to do this now - is it too soon? Are you sure you want me?” 

It was hard to listen to his voice when it sounded so honest. 

Your hands took place on either side of his face, ensuring he would look at you while you spoke to him. 

“Keiji… do you want this?” 

“More than anything,” he replied. 

“I can tell,” you joked, and he rolled his eyes at you. “I’ve wanted you for longer than I can remember - I don’t think it’s too soon. But we can wait if you want. There’s no pressure, okay?” 

“I don’t,” he said. “I can’t wait - I’m so hard it fucking hurts - I just don’t want you to -” 

“You think too much.” 

He laughed. “I know.” 

You let your hands travel down to his chest, hoping you got through to him. “Don’t overthink it. I want you to fuck me, Keiji,” and your hips thrusted against his as if to convince him of how badly you needed it. “Sooner rather than later.”

It seemed to be good enough, he seemed to believe you, because now he wasn’t hesitating to take off his shorts and yours. The view it gave you struck a burning desire like no other - now that you could see all of him, you couldn’t handle not having all of him. 

And he was raring to give himself to you, coaxing his cock inside of you until you took it all, and both of you felt like you were about to explode. 

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned, and the volume of his voice pulled you back down to the real world. 

“Stay quiet,” you reminded him, giggling because the tables had turned on him. 

“I know,” he said with a nod. “You just feel so good - you’re so fucking tight -  I can’t believe this is happening - oh, fuck, it’s too much.” 

“Move, Keiji,” you whined, bucking your hips up to try to feel anything, and he cursed under his breath when he pulled back to watch your desperate attempt at fucking yourself with his cock. 

“You can do it,” he teased, pulling his hips back a little more so you had more room to move. “Keep going - fuck me like that, kitten, don’t stop.” 

You were dying to feel him meeting your thrusts, because this wasn’t nearly enough, but you loved his teasing. 

“That’s it,” he said, “that’s my girl. Taking me so well, fuck, you’re perfect.” 

He couldn’t take it anymore, that was obvious as his thrusts started. He took a hold of your hips and held you in place so he could take you at his own pace, and he was everything you could ever need. 

Your love for him was spilling from your lips and he was doing everything he could to keep you saying it, bringing you higher with every passing second. Feeling him between your thighs and inside your walls was intoxicating. It was everything you hoped it would be, simply because it was Keiji. 

“I’m close,” you said as if he needed a warning - he could probably already tell. 

“Quiet, kitten,” he said to you, bringing your lips up to his for a kiss. “These sounds are for me - don’t want anyone else hearing what’s mine. Be a good girl for me.” 

“I’m trying,” you replied, and he cooed at your whining. 

“I know,” he mumbled, and just by the sound of his voice you could tell he was liking this. And he was going to make it harder for you when his hand trailed down your body so his fingers could circle your clit. 

He kissed you hard to stop any sound you were about to make and you were grateful for it. 

“I want you to cum for me,” he said, “and I don’t want you to make a sound when you do.” 

“Keiji -” 

His hips and fingers sped up. “I’m serious. Come on, kitten, be my good girl - make me proud and stay quiet while you’re cumming all over my cock. You can do it, I know you can.” 

Any trust he had in you staying quiet until the end was completely misplaced - you knew that when his hand clamped down over your mouth. You didn’t try to hold in your voice at all, and Keiji was having just as much trouble, burying his face into your neck to muffle his noises the best he could. 

It didn’t matter if anyone else could hear you; to you, nothing else mattered but Keiji. He was the only other person in your world, the only person your body would ever scream so loudly for. As long as it was him bringing you to this euphoria, you didn’t care who else knew about it. 

Let your friends give you hell for it, let Kuroo say I told you so - you’d deal with the embarrassment in the morning. That moment was worth it. 

The soft kisses he was leaving on your neck in the wake of hitting your peaks helped you float back down easily. It was like being woken up from a dream, one where the only thing you could remember was how pleasant it was. 

“You were not quiet,” Keiji laughed. You felt your cheeks swelling and heating up in embarrassment. 

“I couldn’t help it…” 

“It’s okay,” he replied. “You still made me proud.” 

He lied next to you and pulled you close, and you convinced yourself that you were going to be there in his arms forever. If you were, you’d have no complaints. 

A quiet moment passed, and you couldn’t stand the silence. “How was… that?” 

He pulled back to look at you with wide eyes, as if he didn’t expect you to ask. “What do you mean?” 

“Was it good? Did you like it? Was I -” 

“It was perfect,” he said, biting his lip and looking up at the ceiling as if his high hadn’t completely worn off. “It was everything. Don’t get all shy and insecure on me now that you know I love you back.”  

“Shut up,” you said with a laugh. “I’m just making sure.” 

“Do you need me to prove it to you again?” 

“Maybe.”

“I’ll make sure you stay quiet for me this time, then.” 

Whether or not the two of you were successful in your attempts to keep the noise down was up for debate, but by the end of the night, neither of you cared. 

And the next morning, when you forced yourself to leave Keiji and the warmth of the bed, you found Kuroo pacing outside of your door. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hey.” 

“I’m sorry - I’m so sorry - what I said last night was way out of line, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for it -”

“It’s fine, Kuroo,” you said, because it was. If you were being honest, after the night you had with Keiji you had completely forgotten about what Kuroo said. 

“It’s not fine,” he argued. “I shouldn’t have done that - you trusted me not to say anything about your feelings, and then I did. I fucked up - why aren’t you pissed right now?” 

Before you could start to think of a reply, the door behind you opened. Keiji’s bed head popped out. 

“Can you guys be quiet?” 

“Sorry,” Kuroo immediately replied. 

Then, Keiji turned to you. “Can you come back to bed? It’s cold.” 

You nodded, and Keiji went back inside, and the moment you looked at Kuroo’s face, you knew he’d figured things out. 

“Did you guys fuck?!” 

You had no response. Keiji, however, called out a simple, “Yeah,” leaving you covering your face in embarrassment. 

“Holy shit. I -” 

You went back into your bedroom before he could even finish his words, slamming the door in his face so he couldn’t finish his boasting. But you heard him say, “You’re welcome!” before finally trodding off, and you shook off your embarrassment as best as you could. 

The breakfast you needed minutes ago was long forgotten as you looked at the view in front of you of the boy who was yours. Keiji was waiting for you with sleepy eyes peeking up at you from soft sheets, a grin on his face, and his arms open. 

He didn’t have to say a word - you were in those arms in seconds. Both of you released a sigh of relief; Keiji was warm again, and you were being held by him again. 

“Finally.” 

“I was gone for, like, two minutes, tops.” 

“I don’t care,” he replied. “It was long enough that I got too cold without you here.”

You felt like you should have more to say, but you didn’t. 

You’d spent years hoping for a moment like this. It was as soft and golden and happy as you’d ever dreamed, and moments like those didn’t need words. You knew how Keiji felt, and despite all your attempts at hiding, Keiji knew how you felt, too. 

And in that moment, when the two of you were lying in the afterglow of intimacy from the night before, finally knowing is all that mattered. 

 - 

tune in tomorrow for kinktober day 2: royal 

[turtle-go-brrrr]

Scratch my shell, I scratch yours

A/N: Heya! So remember two posts ago where I said I wouldn't write fics because I'm not confident enough in my writing to post it? Yeah, me neither. I started writing this at 6 am because I couldn't sleep and kept working on it during the day, so enjoy ^^(I got a little tired at the end, and i think you can feel it ;w; hope it’s good enough anyway!)

Also, I’m a sucker for platonic intimacy, and there is a severe lack of platonic x reader in this fandom

Fun fact: the Shell is both the Dorsal (part on the back) AND the Plastron (part on the front).

Requested: No

Pairing: None, platonic

Word count: 2500 +

Triggers: None

Summary: You make an embarrassing suggestion that they surprisingly accept.

_____________________________________________________________

The idea came to you in a random conversation you had as you sat on their couch.

"But wait, you can really reach everywhere? Like if I touch here-", you point to a crevice in the middle of his shell. "You're telling me you can bend your arm enough to get here?"

Leonardo gently takes your wrist and pull your hand away. "I mean, we have some of those telescopic scrubs to help, you know? Or we can just ask each other to get to the hard places if it's really complicated."

Oh.

"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense."

You have been asking a few questions about their shells after Raphael started showing off some of his scars, fascinated by the intricate patterns you could see on your friends. The topic of cleaning has be brought up, and as your curiosity took charge, your brain decided to embarrass you as much as it could.

"Do you think I could help?"

Only the faint background music Mikey had set up earlier could be heard as your mutant friends looked at you, eyes wide open.

Oh, that came out wrong.

"Wait, that's not what I-", you start to explain your line of thoughts when you get interrupted by the smug look Mikey sent you, as he harbored a teasing smile.

"Oh? I didn't realize that's what you meant when you said you wanted to hang out more," he wiggles his eyebrows as your nervous laughter fills the room.

"Hold on, I can explain."

Silence again.

"Oh, you're actually listening?"

"I mean, I think we're all dying to know why on earth you'd want to take a shower with us. You're not usually this upfront with your affection," Donatello chimes in. He's not even looking at you in the eyes, but doesn't really try to hide that stupid smirk.

Bastard.

You take a deep breath, trying to focus on not letting the embarassement take over, but your voice shakes imperceptibly, and you can feel youself start to sweat. Great.

"Okay, so I was thinking : you guys always do so much for the city and never get anything in return. I remember Mikey told me that you guys love shell scratches, and now I can see that you have some trouble cleaning it, so maybe I can help with that ? Kinda like a massage sort of thing, it doesn’t have to be weird if no one makes it. Now obviously we’ll be wearing swimsuits, we’re not close enough for… you know… actually taking a shower together, " you try clearing your throat discretly. You hear a muffled laugh from Raph.

"Anyway, I think Casey knows where to buy the best animal care product. I think human stuff might not be suitable for your shells, and I read somewhere that water was the best way to clean a turtle shell anyways, but if you have suggestions just let me know what you usually use. Do you even have swimsuits ? Doesn’t matter, I’m sure we can find you some-"

As you rambled on, the slight shame started to wear off and you were able to explain your line of thoughts more clearly. The awkwardness of the situation seemed to settle down, even if your friends were absolutely going to tease you about it later. Leonardo seemed hesitant, though.

"I don’t know, man. Are you sure about this ? I don’t want you to feel like you have to. We can take care of ourselves, you know."

"I’m not gonna force you if you don’t want to, I’m just offering because I want to do something nice for you guys. You can’t really take a break, but you could at least relax a bit."

"I’m up for it." You didn’t expect Raph to agree so quickly, but maybe you should have anticipatd that as you look at the bags under his eyes. "I mean, the worst thing that could happen is falling asleep while getting a massage from a friend. Kinda sounds like a dream if you ask me. "

‘Well that was easy,’ you think as your face lightens up.

"Besides, we can laugh at them for wanting to shower with us. Didn’t think you’d want to be so intimate, " he purrs as he gives you a side glance.

Oh. Bastard number two.

"Alright. Sure. You know what, fair game, " you laugh it off. Mikey puts a reassuring arm around your shoulders as Donnie places his legs on your laps.

"We do have swimwear, so you don’t need to worry about that. And you were right about using only water to clean it, as human products tends to make us itchy afterwards. There are some types of oil we use sometimes to nourish our shells, however. I think the only thing we might need to look into is new brushes. The ones we have are, hum, barely hanging on."

You send a quick text to Casey and April to let them know about the plan after making a short list of supplies with Leo, who ended up agreeing.

It didn’t take that much convincing.

____________________________

Saturday came fast. After getting all the necessary supplies with Casey, you both made your wait to the lair to join April. They had both agreed to help you in your task, because 'damn, they really need some appreciation'.

"When do you think they'll be back?" You ask Splinter as he offers you a cup of spiced tea.

"Usually around one in the morning, unless they were delayed."

Unless something went wrong.

But those dark thought quickly faded away as you heard the faint echo of Mikey's laughter as he recalled their night. Light chatter filled the room as they took off their gear and put away their weapons, and April hushed them to get changed and take a quick shower so they could get started and finally have some sort of a break.

You could see they were excited as they each went their own way, waiting for their turn to the shower.

When you live in the sewers and try to turn it into a living space, you have to do what you can with what you have. And sometimes, what you have is a large space that you can turn into a huge bathroom, with multiple showers and a large bathtub; but what you don't have is privacy. So big communal bathroom it is.

In this specific case, it's a good thing, because it means you can all chill together as you get to work on their shells. Once everyone was settled in, April motioned them to sit on some of the chairs you put up. She opens the bag Casey and you brought and starts getting the multiple brushes and bottle out.

"You have to understand that you guys are, uh, gigantic. So try to stay at our level, okay? And stay put, please. Anyway, here is what we've got for you: there are multiple brushes - one of each type for each of you - and some are harder than the others. Don't worry, we'll try not to scrub your shell off of you," she winks at that, and holds back a laugh at Raph's worried expression.

She continues. "We also found the oil Donnie told us about, and we bought multiple bottles. You'll have a stack for next time." She then gets one last bottle out that she puts aside.

"That one is for Splinter. To make his fur all soft and shiny," you butt in with an innocent smile. The old man deserves a treat too.

Casey laughs at that and says, "So, there's tree of us and four of you. Who is okay waiting for his turn?"

Silence.

After a solid minute, Leonardo sighs and volunteers to let his brothers enjoy a well deserved spoiling session. Mikey, instead of sitting on a chair like a normal person, choose instead to lay down on the bathroom floor.

"You said it was basically a massage, right? Now it really feels like it!"

"Oh, good idea. I'm this close to getting a pillow and having the nap of my life," Donnie says, putting his fingers together.

"Your fingers are touching."

"I know," he gives you a side smile as he starts to get up, but you quickly bring him back to reality. "But there's gonna be water everywhere?" You sit down next to where he just was and watch as he goes back to where he sat, sending you a disapproving side glance.

"Let a turtle dream, will you?" He lays down on his stomach, puts his head on his arms, and scouts closer to you.

You watch Raph get settled on a chair next to Casey, putting his arms on the backrest as April hands you one of the harder brushes. Leo makes a quick trip to the kitchen and brings back some water, a few snacks, and a copy of Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne.

"Again," you start. "There's gonna be water everywhere. Are you sure bringing a book here is a good idea?"

He gives you a sly smile. "Gotta live up to my name."

What?

"What?"

"You know," Mikey interrupts. "Fearless."

"Oh. Right. Well, don't come crying when you drop it into a puddle then." But you offer him a plastic bag anyway, to hold his book with it in case he wets his hands.

"You sure you're okay waiting?" Casey asks him as he starts pouring water over Raph's back.

"Yeah, don't worry. I have things to keep me busy anyway."

______________________________

It took one swipe of the brush from April for Mikey to start... what was the word? Churring.

A low rumble coming from his throat that had kind of the same function as a cat's purr, Donnie explained. It was an expression of contentment or happiness, that sometimes even happended when they needed reassurance.

Adorable.

"I can't believe you guys can purr and never told me." Raph doesn't even bother opening his eyes when he answers you, "We knew you'd take advantage of that. Didn't want to be babied by the tiniest human we ever met."

Asshole.

You went back and forth with the gruff turtle, always in good spirit though. Conversations flowed, laughter were exchanged, and everyone managed to lighten up. Master Splinter joined the group at some point, and was just glad to spend some time with his family - all of it. He also started to take cared of Leo’s dorsal, to his delight.

You don't exactly know when, but some time after Donnie started to let go some soft churrs as you scrubbed the dirt off of his shell, you stopped listening to the current topic and started to really focus on your task.

Scrapping the dirt hidden in between every crevice, rubbing the largest scales, you were surprised by the look of the bare shell of your nerdy friend. You never really stopped to observe this particular feature the four brothers harbored, not only out of decency, but also because it was always covered. Gear and clothes, backpack and tech, dirt and blood, there was always something hiding the intricate patterns of their shells.

You unconsciously slowed down to really take in what you were seeing, your fascination and curiosity taking over your wish to help.

"I don't know why, but I never expected your shell to be so colorful," you say after wiping away the dirty water from the left side of his back. You didn’t mean to say it at loud, but he doesn't answer you. However, you do get something from Mikey.

"Man, you should see mine! Don helped me create an organic paint so I can paint my shell without hurting myself with a bunch of chemicals, and it looks sooo damn good-"

"Shh!"

"... Did they- Did you just shush me?"

"Shhh!" You whisper yell this time. You then give a side glance toward the sleeping turtle under you.

"Annw. Good luck waking him up."

"Yeah, I'm... not doing that. He needs his sleep," you laugh quietly.

______________________________

It took the three of you around an hour to deep clean their shells. Even Raph was finally letting go and softly churring at the end. Mikey was loud enough to have trouble speaking, and Donnie was still asleep. Splinter was still working meticulously on his son, who, he could tell, had a hard time holding back the content churrs that threatened to spill out.

You get up and strech, feeling your joints crack and already anticipating how sore you’ll be tomorrow. The muscles in your arms were burning, and you couldn’t feel your butt anymore, but it was worth it. You’ve never seen the four mutants so relaxed before.

Remembering the oils, you went toward the towels to dry your friend’s back and give the final touch to, what you’d grow to refer to, your work of art. You gave a few head scratches to Raph, who was dozing off with a lazy smile, and went back to Donatello. You slowly dried his dorsal when you felt him shift under your hands.

"Hey buddy," you speak softly. He whispers a ‘hey’ you can barrely hear.

"I’m almost done. I just have to put the oil, then you can let it dry and go to sleep, okay ? " You open the bottle and get a paintbrush, with which you start coating his shell with a thin layer of oil. You can hear his soft churrs start again.

Casey accidentally dropped the bottle of oil on Raph’s back and was desperatly trying to gather as much as he could. "Shi- Fuck, wait-"

"Here, give me some. Thanks to you, I don’t have to open mine, " April said with a smirk. She helped him clean up before going back to Mikey, who raised himself on his forearms and watched the scene unfold with a tired smile.

It took only around twenty minute to put the oil on their shells and get it almost dried up. Once it was done, you helped Splinter and Casey clean up as April let her dizzy friends hold onto her, guiding them on their way to their room. Once it was all done, you waved Leo good night as Raph ruffled your hair and went to sleep. Mikey gave you a big hug and thanked you for the ‘bonker idea’ and made you promise to do it again soon, which you agreed on.

April was already sleeping in the big armchair next to the couch, Casey in a sort of little nest of blankets and pillows at her feet. As you made your way to the couch – your makeshift bed for the night – Donnie was passed out cold on it already. And, boy, does he takes up a lot of space.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and turned to see Splinter standing next to you. "I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you borrowing his bed for the night. "

"I– are you sure ? "

"He stole yours. He’ll live. " A gentle smile tugged at his lips as he guided you to your friend’s room, offering you a spare blanket and pillow. "Have a good night, Y/N. You know where to find me if you need anything."

”Thank you, Master Splinter.” You can feel your eyelid close on their own, and decide to finally call it a night. You got settled as best you could in the bed, and fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

A warm breakfast would await you in the morning.

[jiminrings]

last chronological part for stem koo... WHEW I WATCHED THEM GROW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN NOW

cold senior!y/n x stem major koo masterlist :D

they finally become lunchbox lovers

“you’re asking me what’s jungkook like?”

jimin couldn't be any more surprised

first of all, his day started with yOU texting him and asking if you can drop by for a second, and the moment he texted "sure???", you're literally already knocking on the door

and second, you're asking him???

“oh come on. he clings to you with every chance he gets. i thought you gave him a chance already.”

your eyes only deadpan that jimin actually gets the hint, his mouth curling in a eureka moment that he managed to figure out himself without you talking

“oH! so that’s why you’re asking me because you’re thinking of giving him an actual chance.”

alright finally

you slump in relief over not saying it out loud, expressing the slightest bit of worry you have to someone (that's not as close to you like yoongi and jin are) who'd get where you're coming from without bias

“i just wanna know how he usually is when he’s not on my heels.”

“honestly? the same. probably even a bit more clingier.”

jimin wastes no time in ratting jungkook out, even leaning back to the couch with how relaxed he is

“talks about you too. i’m sorry y/n but even i know what shampoo you use!!!”

jimins knows your wHAT

"my shampoo???"

“mhmm. made me drive him to a grocery store at 10 in the evening so he can individually smell all the shampoos without anyone calling him a creep or something like that,” he nods earnestly and doesn't look like he's playing with you or the sort

you're quite frozen and jungkook's roommate isn't at all fazed and is even pulling up pICTURES of their impromptu grocery trip

“he even made it in a scientific paper format. with the hypothesis and conclusion and everything.”

he points it out just in time when you swipe to jimin's hand holding a printed piece of paper with the document in the monitor right behind it, the next pictures being blurry because that's when jungkook freaked out

jimin gets his phone back but not without sending you the pictures you just saw even if you didn't ask for them, trying to hide the amusement in your eyes when you decide to scroll through them again later

“cut him some slack though. he’s never really had a girlfriend, y’know? or like even a crush. he’s just navigating it with his instincts and all the advice he gets.”

hold on a second

“... advice?”

he thought you'd never ask (he'll still say it even if you don't) which is why he brightly grins, hunching over as if to let you in on a guarded secret

“i’m one of his consultants!!! didn’t suggest the shampoo part though.”

who could have possibly thought of that idea then ://

you hum in faux complacency, trying to get this as fast as possible so you could make up your mind quicker

“what else?”

jimin's relaxed now that he's had a proper laugh with you and realized you aren't as Intimidating As He Thought You Were, recounting the things in his mind like a to-do list

“he’s sickeningly kind.”

the gravity of his words strike him before they do with you, straightening his posture to clear up the air right away, “but i knoW that what he did to you is the furthest thing from kind, and trust me, i really got that point across!!!”

by point, jimin means cooking him burnt meals and jungkook having to endure it because he doesn't like wasting food

additionally, that also meant jimin served kook a cRISP smack on the back of his boba ball head into next week

look at him <3 seokjin, yoongi AND jimin gave him shit!!! now isn;t that teamwork

you're unable to paint the mental image in your head because he continues, grabbing your attention once again

“but apart from that, jungkook could just be too kind for his own sake,” he says sincerely. “he’s like the kid the principal refers to in elementary when they talk about peer pressure!!!”

your first instinct is to snort at that, the mental image definitely forming in your head now

is it just sO bad that you and jimin agree on this

“jokes aside, jungkook’s really genuine.”

it's the last thing jimin wraps it off with when you stand from the couch, cheeks still a little warm when he trails you behind the door

you're just about to thank him when the door in front of you opens and almost hits you in the process, the person behind it just as alarmed

jungkook’s just now coming home because he had to pick up some last-minute groceries from the convenience store downstairs that jimin forgot from his last run, clearly startled to why would wou be here

"oH???? y/n??? what are you doing here???"

his pupils are shaking between the two of you and he's not even trying to hide is incoming panic

“.... a-are you and jimin-“

“yup! sorry bud! we were just-...” jimin's attempt at a lighthearted joke is halted as fast as it was introduced, getting a smack on the middle of his back that makes him wince

“you’re annoying, jimin."

oOOOOH you just put your palm on him!! yea at this rate he's gonna be your best friend too won't he

jungkook's processing things as fast as he could, getting a reassuring glance from you that puts him at ease

“we were just talking, kook.”

he nods even if he's still a tiny bit unsure, calling for you when you're on your way out the door

“a-about what though?”

:-)

“you’d know soon enough.”

( ♡ )

“you wanna tell me now why we went on this drive?”

seokjin yawns at a stoplight even when his car is the only one waiting on the intersection right now, not in the mood for a ticket with a printed traffic light picture of him mid-yawn in his matching pajamas anytime soon

“no reason," you sing-song and it makes him snort, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “couldn’t sleep."

“well that makes one of us.”

you've unabashedly knocked on jin's door and even if it took you two tries, he still answered nonetheless, not even asking for an explanation why before he sleepily took his keys and grabbed his house slippers for shoes

you had no destination in mind at 3 in the morning which is why jin’s just driving for no rhyme nor direction and is just going with his brain’s one-second impulses of where to turn

he’s game for anything, actually — that much you know

although you do know that jin literally wouldn't do this for anyone else besides the people he find worth all this (aka everyone except you and yoongi and ok maybe namjoon sometimes)

the drive is beyond serene and even with repetitive radio music playing in the background, you don't actually mind it

when you're with jin, it just feels like you're in a constant bubble of comfort and ease that you always try to look for in everything

he doesn't necessarily need explanations,, he just deduces from things at face-value and later ask about it when you're comfortable enough to share

jin points at a drive-thru he suddenly had a craving for as you were about to suggest it anyway

you're not even quite sure why there's a line but neither of you complain, the situation more than bearable that a little waiting wouldn't dampen your mood

the words you've been thinking of the whole day finally slip across the silence, as casual yet as sincere as they could be

“i’m really thankful that you’re in my life, jin. you know that right?”

he seems pleasantly surprised when you look at his side profile, shaking his head

“mhmm. you only tell me a couple times but you put your knee on top of mine everyday,” he chuckles at the habit of yours and he kNOWS for a fact you would put your knee on top of his if only he wasn't behind the wheel. “tell me all about it, kid.”

it's genuine laughter that encompasses the whole car, his chuckles suddenly ceasing when he realizes another possibility

“you’re not asking me for allowance, are you? because yoongi’s already bugging me for his next month’s.”

wait what

“you give yoongi an allowance???”

“you didn’t know???”

:///

“... i’m not asking for an allowance.”

“..... but do you want it,.,..”

jin sees you pursing your lips and intentionally looking at everywhere but him, already getting his answer

“fine. that’s the furthest you two could get from me!! don’t expect me to pack your lunchboxes to school now. you must be crazy.”

jin, in fact, packs you and yoongi lunchboxes more often than not

jin, aLSO, does all the paper rolling for you so when the three of u get occasionally high, it’s all nice and tight

jin is also the one who does all the talking on the phone to customer service when neither of you are willing

he asks the moment he relays your usual midnight snack slash early breakfast order he's already memorized to the attendant, patiently looking at you

“you want anything else with that?”

“i’m all good.”

it's in between cars and stoplights that the car is filled with more emotion again, acting on it when you realize it when seokjin's mid-bite on his hashbrowns

“jin?”

“yes?” he speaks muffled, looking at you once before bringing his attention back on the changing stoplight

“love you.”

he feels himself still for a second even if his foot's on the gas and one hand is on the wheel, a somber look on his face that he later smiles sincerely

“love you too, kid.”

( ♡ )

“it’s not my birthday if that’s what you’re thinking.”

yoongi sleepily mumbles the moment he feels his bed dipping, his side that was once holding a pillow now being occupied by you

“i know.”

you wedge yourself between his heavy comforter, tossing and turning until it feels comfortable

“but i actually don’t know your birthday lol it’s-...”

“fuck right off.”

yoongi doesn't question why you're in his bed, because the last time you did, it was because you were left traumatized after seeing a genuinely good horror movie that it was pending to give you nightmares

he didn't see you watch any movie today though, but he'll take you in nonetheless

“kidding.”

you offer in consolation because yoongi's birthday is in your calendar even if you know it by heart, a mindless hum in reply

it's when you drop your arm on his waist like it's dead weight and relax completely, your face near to his mop of hair that it's making him think you're actually cuddling him rn

quick how can he get a picture of this to get this framed

“are you telling me now?”

he questions with his eyes half-open, shimmying backwards so that you're able to hug him more comfortably

“my airconditioner’s busted.”

“mhmm. give me ten minutes. i’ll fix it for you.”

it's 4 am and if your airconditioner really was busted, you wouldn't have let it stay busted for that long

“don’t. it’s okay. i wanna be here anyways.”

both you and yoongi know that your airconditioner’s in tip-top shape and is actually the one that blows the coldest air in the dorm

sometimes you think he’s an angel in disguise because there’s no way you deserve a human best friend like him

“yoongs?”

“hmm?” he hums before he falls asleep again, trying to keep up while having his eyes closed so he could listen to you

“you know that i’m really glad you’re in my life, right?”

oh

:)

“mhmm. you don’t say, sweets," he teasingly chuckles, feeling his ribcage rise in amusement under your arm

“fuck-“

“yeah, i know. i do, because you put me as your family member in your emergency contacts, but you don’t know that i know that.”

... oh

you don't even know how yoongi came to know but you don't question it, the warmth in your heart doubling

“love you.”

“love you too, y/n.”

( ♡ )

jungkook’s the most nervous he’s been in awhile

and that’s coming from him who sees yoongi in almost a daily basis

after all, jin did tell him you can be quite forgetful becasue you tend to take care of things all at once

he’ll sTILL try to be as smooth and casual as much as possible though

“big game tomorrow huh?”

and by big game that means as in your last qualifying game to whether or not your team would compete in the yearly (not to mention prestigious) soccer tournament

you chuckle at the thought because by now, you should already be sleeping and getting some rest even if it’s just seven in the evening

but you’re here <3 out at a park near jungkook’s dorm, sharing hand warmers <3

“yeah. it’s a make or break match.”

“i actually haven’t seen you play before, y’know," jungkook silently admits, looking down on his shoes as he thinks if he's just offended you

“really?” you ask in genuine curiosity, “then how come you interviewed me for your little survey when you haven’t watched me play before?”

oh

tHAT

“i uh, i actually just really wanted to talk to you that day. i-i don’t normally approach people first, but you just looked warm enough for me to reach out first.”

he's babbling before he even knows it, oblivious the growing smile on your face

“then i asked jimin because he kNOWS everything, and it was all in good fate that it turned out you were the soccer captain!! i was excited because i had a legitimate reason to talk to you that day.”

so that’s why

he wanted to talk to you even before his lunchboxes were taken out of the situation!!!

“how about me? why was it me?”

ahem

you're not trying to be funny but you can't help but chuckle, scratching the back of your ear in thought

“i honestly couldn’t tell either, jungkook.”

he almost coughs in shock, masking it off with playing it off for the bite of the chill of the night

“all i know is that something told me it was you,” you timidly add, looking down on your hands. “and i went for it.”

right can he chalk up mad blushing to the night air

he fiddles with the drawstrings of his sweatpants this time, his eye contact with you becoming fidgety

“big game tomorrow,” he repeats and you're just about to tell him that your conversation sounds like it's gonna be repeated

“don’t forget your eyedrops, alright?”

....

was that smooth enough

“eyedrops?”

yeah

uhm

that was... random

“oh right! you gave them back to me.”

“yeah. you should open it tonight, probably. to see if it’s already all-evaporated, y’know? if it is, then let me know tomorrow so i can buy you new ones.”

“highly doubt that they would, but alright, kook.”

you take the little banter to be your cue to walk back to your dorm, about to say goodbye to him when he makes an audible sound of confusion

it confuses you even more when he's trailing behind you

“your dorm’s twenty feet away from where we are, jungkook.”

“y-yeah i know that!! i’m walking you home, silly.”

right!!

hee-hee

he’s keeping his hands to himself even if he BADLY wants to hold your hand or even your forearm but he has to resist that urge rn

but he does intentionally brush shoulders with you and mumble “pothole.” so he could nUDGE you to the side even if there aren’t any to begin with

silence with jungkook now is comfortable as it has been for more than awhile, the walk passing by faster that you almost wish you walked slower

goddamn it he should've said there was a pothole atleast ten more times to make the walk longer

“goodnight, koo.”

“goodnight, y/n.”

there’s obviously no goodnight kiss but he dOES get a squeeze on his bicep

you take your time when you come home — to unwind as much as you could before you stress yourself out tomorrow

your shower routine may have took a little longer this time but it makes you get dressed as quick as you could when your eyes see the origami box you've been putting off from opening, one that jungkook just told you to open, because as far as you knew they were just EYEDROPS!!!

... the supposed bottle of eyedrops that’s too well-packaged and clearly thought-out

an origami box, a carebear heart initial drawstring pouch AND a plain ziplock baggie as if the other two weren’t enough

it’s when you open the box within the ziplock bag that you feel it’s definitely not as light as a bottle of eyedrops would be

there’s a very visible dent weighing down on the pouch (that’s within the origami box) that’s cLEARLY not your eyedrops

you’re actually nervous to the point that you just open unfurl it with your eyes closed, feeling two items in there

the plastic bottle of eyedrops, and definitely the cool surface of what feels like

a bracelet?

it’s a pretty straightforward yet timelessly elegant silver link bracelet, equipped with a couple options for how tight or loose you want to wear it

it hits you all at once and god does it just render you speechless

jungkook has this bracelet too.

you’re quite speechless and in between looking at it up-close to avoiding looking at it at all, trying to calm your breathing by focusing on the eyedrops instead

the said eyedrops you've been so used to seeing that you immediately sense that there's something oFF with the label???

its stuck-on, that's for sure, but something about it is not as seamless and stationary and official as it should be

it's almost as if there's something snuck inside it and-

...

..... there is

it's scotch tape that's just as thin as the actual label of the bottle itself, having to peel the whole label in order to see it in entirety

it's the same double-sided label jungkook worked so hard to peel flawlessly so he could try and replicate it in the same exact design and measurements, having to even take it up to a classmate from stem he once knew that transferred to graphic design

(yeonjun did ask for a science paper in exchange for his replication of the eyedrops slash adhesive label because who fucking kNEW he still had science even when in graphic design, but jungkook thinks it's fair trade so it's worth it)

it's the same exact label jungkook's had for a month and only recently gave it to you a week ago, a truth he's long since known

it's the same exact label that reads —

i love you

— in his handwriting you've come to known by heart, the label in your hand feeling much more heavy than the bracelet in the other

you already know what to do.

.

.

.

it's game day and u are about to launch yourself into orbit if you hear oNE more drum cheer because it just makes you nervous even more

yeah SURE it makes you pumped when it's the actual game itself but not now!!! not now when you're pumping yourself with electrolytes and at the risk of peeing from nervousness and too much hydration

you haven't seen seokjin nor yoongi yet and as much as that lessens the pressure on you, that alsO makes you nervous because they're your emotional support people!!!! where r they

usually you would see them in the front row of the bleachers and neither of them have any snacks because all of their focus would be on you

jin is nOT mr. kim from student affairs when it comes to your games,,, nuh-uh sir,,, he's that guy from the other team that glares so hard it dISTRACTS me from scoring in the perspective of the opposing team

coach's about to whistle like five minutes from now for a final huddle and everyone's getting their final stretches in

you're too busy looking for people that you actually want to be here that you're taken off-guard when one of them grasps at your forearm, a breathless smile one his face

"give them hell out there, alright. you're a champ."

it's jungkook!!!

IT'S JUNGKOOK!!!!@&$&":@:"$

he looks especially handsome today that you just short-circuit immediately

he's wearing a shirt with your team colors on it aND!!!

he ditched his glasses today to wear contacts, not only because he wanted to look a bit more different and special today, but because he's also scared that a ball would be thrown in his direction and injure him with the additional impact of his glasses

his hair's pushed back with his forehead showing instead of his usual hairstyle and god is it making you a little dizzy

he's beaming at you and his eyes immediately wander to your wrist, not expecting the feeling in his gut next

you're not wearing the bracelet.

jungkook feels the sudden urge to cry even when in public but it's when you grip at his forearm tightly that he stays still, squeaking when you realize his line of thought

"can't wear any jewelry on the field. i-i'm wearing your bracelet as an anklet for the meantime, it's underneath my sock."

...

....

...... oh my god

jungkook's never felt this frozen and euphoric at the same time, sputtering over nothing when your face looks like the furthest thing from joking

you're about to excuse yourself suddenly when your eyes finally take notice what's thrown on his shoulder, something about it being so familiar that it throws you off for awhile

"is that my jersey?"

he nods eagerly to your query, proudly unfolding it for you to see your spare soccer jersey with your surname and number right on it, the exact marks being the same from when you tried to use a laundry pen on it

he didn't get it replicated???

"h-how did you get that? where did you get that?"

jungkook thought you'd never ask, the words he never thought he'd say already leaving his lips

"yoongi gave it to me."

you only have a handful of jerseys on-hand and even if you could always request for more, the ones you have at home are a little more sentimental

you gave jin and yoongs one each from the only several ones you had, and you know yoongi would not give up his for jungkook

but now, you do know that he snuck to your closet and took one to give it to jungkook willingly, trusting him enough to give it to you behind your back

kook's sTILL not fully-forgiven but they're getting there sooner or later

wait why is this making you cry

before you know it, you're pushing yourself to jungkook to hug him tightly, the boy being surprised for a second but ultimately reciprocating once it registers

"i love you too."

.

.

.

.

.

this is the last chronological update for stem koo aka lunchbox lovers!! however, this is not the end of them!! with the end of this chronological series, this means that all the future updates don't necessarily have to be linked — they're miscellaneous and don't have to follow a specific layout like this part of their arc.

with that said, feel free to send in asks on what you want to see from the lunchbox lovers (misc. requests, questions, and everything in between) and i'd love to fulfill them because after all, this series was born purely out of your ideas <3 also pls send in ur thoughts and feedback and love because i have da greatest time reading through all of them!! thank you for all the love for da stem koo universe <3

[potteresque-ire]

Commentary ~ Little Red Little Green Episode 18, “Fruits & Found Family”

Link to original post in Chinese, posted 2021/05/23. Link to official English translation.

(Disclaimer / Notes + Commentary under the cut!) (TW: possible eating disorder)

Disclaimer / Notes:

While the posts by Little Red Little Green (LRLG) are among my most favourite candies, I’d like to remind everyone that they are fake rumours, and should be read and enjoyed as such. ie, all CPN below!

The English translation linked above is the only one authorised by the Fake Rumour House; therefore, please treat all content below as a very casual, very *unofficial* convo between fellow turtle friends! ❤️💛💚

With Chinese being a highly region-specific language, my reactions to it is necessarily filtered through my background, which is, admittedly, somewhat removed from Gg’s, Dd’s and LRLG’s. However, it is not uncommon for even c-turtles (and several times, LRLG themselves) to be lost with what they read / heard due to regional differences ~ which reflects the reality of communicating in the Sinosphere. In fact, the regionality of the dialects used by different “characters” in LRLG’s dialogues is among the most critical elements that make these posts so authentic-sounding, and so difficult to replicate. A fun activity of following LRLG is to watch c-turtles patch their regional knowledge together, from local slangs to food choices, to make sense of what’s going on. 

Okay, with that all said *phew* ... onto the commentary! “p. X” refers to the panel number in the official English translation (there are 7 total in the Twitter post). 

p1. “Fairy”

Likely referring to the similarity between Gg’s current role for 玉骨遥 (The Longest Promise) and LWJ. Dd was praising Gg for being “fairy-like”; Chinese “fairies” (仙) have a certain style especially in visual media, similar to ... LWJ’s ~ otherworldly, white robes that billow in the wind, peaceful to the point of distant, scholarly, delicate. In between the lines, Gg likely said he was simply playing LWJ (hence, the ”act another me” in the translation), which Dd protested... and said Gg was simply playing himself. Whether that means DD IS NOT LWJ!!!!! 😡😡😡 or something else, we’ll know what we get to watch the show!

p1-p2. “Heat”

Yes about the Chang’e 嫦娥 reference!! Despite Houyi 后羿 shooting down 9/10 suns and saving the day, his wife is, indeed, more famous (and therefore the star, the more powerful one), because she’s frequently featured in Mid-Autumn festival art, along with her pet rabbit 玉兔 (”Jade Rabbit”),:

(Chang’e with her bunny, traditional Chinese painting. Source.)

Below is Gg’s rendition of Chang’e / Jade Bunny pair ~ Chang’e being the superman in the drawing while Jade Bunny is crouching on the planet!! 

Guess of the missing convo from Gg’s side: Gg had wanted to bring something to Hengdian (where the filming of The Longest Promise was taking place) to cool himself down, and Dd had said it wasn’t necessarily. Hence Dd’s “My bad my bad” and the promise to send that something to Gg.

The loveliest line in this segment for me—and for many c-turtles— is the one about white hair. Turning grey a common, but very old-fashioned way of expressing worry and poor Dd, who hasn’t even turned 24, is claiming he was turning white because he got so worried every time Gg complained about the heat (Aww). 

Turning grey with worry isn’t limited to romantic situations — it may happen to doting parents with wayward children, for example, or to ancient patriots over their crumbling kingdom. However, it’s also one of the more (very!) dramatic ways to communicate tragic love in Chinese fiction before Western influence allows “love”, as a term / word / character, to be used explicitly in writing romance. 

Here’s a little example, a little diversion that may be of interest. Those who are familiar with the Wuxia classic Return of the Condor Heroes 神雕俠侶 by Jin Yong 金庸, whether it’s the book or its numerous visual adaptations, may remember how the hero, Yang Guo 楊過, went white at his temples overnight after his Shifu and lover, Xiao Long Nv (小龍女), didn’t show up at the cliff at the end of his 16-year wait for her.  

Set photo from a TV adaption of Return of the Condor Heroes, 1995. Turtles may find the actress playing the perenially white-wearing, calm-to-the point-of-aloof Xiao Long Nv, Carmen Li 李若彤, familiar ~ she also played Lan Yi in The Untamed. 

The 16-year wait, the invitation to Carmen to play Lan Zhan’s ancestor (when the two shared similarities in aesthetics and personality), were two of the three references from Return of the Condor Heroes I picked up from The Untamed (the last one was more specific—WWX mentioned Yang Guo’s master 獨孤求敗). This tribute is unconfirmed, but MXTX did say before that Jin Yong’s works were her inspiration. I also read a (small) discussion on whether LWJ’s hair carried a few pieces of white in the final episode, or if the lighter strands in it were a trick of the sunlight. (Here’s a screenshot of the approximate place to look!!) 

While I lean towards the latter (the sunlight), turning white with worry, with love, is a tradition in Chinese storytelling. Here’s a little something I’ve noticed too, on this note ~ both in the actual interviews and in these fake rumours, Dd’s word choices, the way he conveys emotions are sometimes surprisingly traditional. It can be because of his background (which would require a study of how Luo Yang people and Koreans talk); it can be because the traditional way of talking allows for fewer words to be said, fewer things to have to be explicitly explained (example: LWJ), but the effect is that Dd has supplied the most romantic lines in LRLG’s posts because of that ~ romantic because it harks back to the rhythm, the themes of old poetry, of ancient stories that, as were true everywhere in the world, were about love. 

Okay, back to the rumour (and hoping Dd won’t look like Bad Wig Yang Guo in a few more summers!) ....

The line after the one about white hair ... the way I understand the original Chinese sentence is “Heat is The Reason”: ie, anything Dd wants Gg to do and Gg disagrees, Gg would use heat as The Reason (R) to not do it. This anything may be eating, for example, which also has a strong possibility as conventional Chinese wisdom says that heat causes people to lose appetite. Dd’s worry would therefore be: Gg refusing to eat because he claims it’s too hot to do so.

“Corny joke” ~ the Chinese for this is, literally, “cold 冷 joke 笑話”, which becomes a pun as the gzry (team members)’s joke was about the (cold) winter and black hair. So... Dd threw a corny joke to combat a corny joke :D .

p3. “Apple”

The first half I also had to rely on c-turtles to help me interpret what it meant! Regional dialects aside, LRLG has captured dls’s very quick wit, the way his ideas freely hop from one concept to the next and this hopping carries traditional + popular cultural references that I know only a fraction of, not being a local after all. 

I’ve read an additional interpretation of this segment: “big fruit” 大果兒 (as in dls: “Those are all big fruits, all big fruits”) is a Northern Chinese, traditional slang for women—dls might have connected that with the previous line in the convo about being Guowang, as explained in the translation, and “big and juicy” + “touch to feel” being suggestive phrases. Then, given the rare usage of the big fruit = women slang, dls expressed surprise that Dd understood what he meant, went on to say he expected Gg to know it (implying Gg could’ve taught Dd the meaning) ... 

Which led to the entertaining part of this segment. Dd was like “You guys (= Gg + dls) talked?” Dls appeared to have thought of the scenario customarily inviting this question (scenario: someone on the verge of catching their spouse cheating) and began playacting that scenario, started to stammer ... as if he had just been got caught trying to chat up someone’s spouse  ~  ”I-I-I....how to say it ...”. Dd caught on dls’s playacting and went along, continued with the “accusation”: “You’re stammering”. Dls then noted that Dd’s accusation was scary and Dd smiled, ending the playact ~ so, ah, readers, never mess with Dd’s spouse!! Dd gets scary!! 

(BTW: ”nijia na kouzi” 你家那口子 was explained in the translation for a reason ~ It’s a warm, friendly term for a dear friend’s spouse. 😊)

p4. Lychees

Lychees. Has everyone tried them? It’s important not to over-eat them though...

In which the “Feeding Gg” saga continues! This segment is one of those that are wonderful for fic writers who wish to capture Gg and Dd in words. Gg, like many brought up in traditional families, has trouble saying “no” outright, which is often considered rude. As such, he resorted to delay tactics, something he had also done with the fried noodles in The Makeup Room BTS. 

In the BTS, his delay tactics had been to argue that Dd hadn’t eaten his box of noodles and therefore, he couldn’t start (~2:35 mark)—as proper manners indeed dictated. In this dialogue, his delay tactics was to say he’d eat the lychees later, that the lychees would make him too full for the proper meal (rice). 

A cute thing about this convo is that rather than pouting and grumbling his only being LWJ’s replacement (as he had hilariously done in the BTS), Dd had, apparently over the last three years, become an expert on countering such delay tactics. He peeled the lychees, which not only removed a major obstacle for eating, but also set a timer as peeled lychees get dry quickly (and Gg, despite being a picky eater, didn’t seem to like to waste food). He said the fruit could make appetiser. He got the help of their team members, who assured Gg that two lychees would be all right.

Gg’s response to the assurance... takes a little time to explain. 

The original Chinese line for “Great, great, you’re so awesome” was 絕了絕了你們絕了。 “絕了”, a popular phrase used by Chinese netizens, was repeated three times.

絕, literally, means the extreme, the absolute, the end. 絕了 means pretty much the same ~ a thing that is 絕了 is standing en pointe at the edge of the cliff that is The Absolute End of a spectrum. It is the Ultimate. It can't be surpassed. It’s unbeatable. 

絕了 is usually used in a positive sense, as in the English translation, with the positive being implied. If I say the LWJ photo above is 絕了, for example, I don’t need to specify that the extreme in 絕 stands on the good end. It’s understood given the audience of this post are mostly turtles (HELLO *waves*). We’re all heart-eyes here. We agree, without saying, that this photo is The Top, The Pinnacle; it can’t be better. 絕了 is higher praise than Excellent; it’s so good that there are no adjectives for it. Its own presence defines How Good It Is. 

But 絕了 doesn’t have to be positive. If my audience is Su She ... he’s likely to take the same “This LWJ photo is 絕了” to mean the Mariana Trench kind of Absolute—the bottom of the bottom, the Unbeatable, Adjective-Defying Worst. 

絕了 allows for that understanding too.

In this scenario, I interpret Gg’s 絕了 as taking the meaning of both extremes (which make it a fantastic phrase choice!): that Gg thought Dd and the team members were being both the Absolute Best (for thinking of Gg, caring for him) AND the Absolute Worst (for going against his wish to not eat!) Gg’s 絕了 also signals defeat; if Dd and his team members were The Absolute ... Whatever, then poor Gg had no choice but to yield to their wishes. I can already imagine his “I can’t believe I lose this way” Look (see: every rock-paper-scissors he lost, which was ... pretty much all of them), mixed with, perhaps, a healthy amount of bunny tooth warning (how dare Dd et al banded up against him)...

Those bunny teeth had to be taken care of, right? And so Dd went on to say lychees being good omen that ensure things would go smoothly for the eater... targeting Gg’s being a, as c-turtles call it, 小迷信 (literally, “Little Superstitious”, a young + adorable + superstitious person). Dd said that to help Gg justify the choice to eat, to make Gg feel better about his defeat. 

(Of note: I had actually never heard of lychees being associated with good luck before, and a quick search online also didn’t yield any result. This could be a relatively rare association Google failed to catch ... or something Dd made up on the fly to make Gg happy.) 

(Lychees have, however, been associated with romance. If Emperor’s Smile 天子笑 was The Love Drink in The Untamed, then what is Concubine’s Smile 妃子笑? Answer: it’s the RL name of a type of lychees, lychees being the fruit very much adored by Yang Yuhuan 楊玉環, the consort of the Emperor Xuanzong (685-762 BCE) of the Tang Dynasty and one of the four most beautiful woman in Chinese history. Since lychees had only been grown in southern China, the emperor had had the fruit couriered, in express mode involving many horses, to the palace up north to please his favourite wife. Lychees had become a symbol of love from that historical tale.)

Did Gg get Dd’s message then, the love and care packaged in those peeled, sweet fruit awaiting his bite? Yes, but not without a little more fight! “Eat eat eat, (I’ll eat) until you go bankrupt” is a literal translation of his final line. Tonally, I can see the following as being an alternative translation: 

“Fine fine fine. I’ll eat, it’s not like I can bankrupt you by eating anyway!”

If it sounded a little sulky, that’s because it did ... a little sulky AND fiery. As expected from our favourite Chongqing Big Pepper 😂😂😂 (Poor Gg).

Dd smiled at that, needless to say. He won!!! He got Gg to eat!! The world shall rejoice!! 

p5. “Showtime”

There’s a show coming up for Dd (the YH concert maybe?), and Gg offered suggestions. 

The sweet point of this segment is about half-way down the conversation, in the piece of paper 📄 Gg gave to Dd (after “This is for you.”). Dd took the paper, noted the many words on it, and started saying 我把我整個靈魂, translated as “I bring my entire soul”.

c-Turtles have, based on these words, hypothesised that Dd was about to read out a quote that Gg had written on the paper, with the list of items Gg thought Dd should take, before Gg stopped him with a call of his name (“WYB”). The quote was included on the translation (”I give you my entire soul...only, a little good, love you.”) I have also talked about the same quote, in more detail, here.

I’m equally stumped on the final line of this segment. (Sorry!!)

p6. “Found Family”

It’s a heartwarming segment. While LRLG had previously noted that the TTXS bros had communicated with Gg, this segment made clear that they care for him like they do for Dd ~ as family.

* dls mailed Gg a lot of fruit for sharing with the film crew. “Family member needs to be impressive” is a rough translation, but this line does defy simple translation because 排面 a highly cultural concept that has much to do with the equally complex, Chinese concept of face (which this article explains... somewhat adequately). The message to take home is that dls cared enough about Gg that he wanted to make sure Gg wouldn’t lose face in front of the film crew; that, by having enough gifts (fruits) for everyone, Gg wouldn’t be viewed as cheap or inadequate or stingy, or whatever adjective that wouldn’t befit his top idol status. Because dls saw Gg as a member of his family. 

* The prescription from hg had been mentioned in a previous LRLG rumour. 方子 is a Chinese medicine prescription, which, unlike Western formulations, is individualised both to the discomfort / ailment and to the “body constitution” of the person who'll take it, the latter deciding the kind of ailments the person is susceptible to, and which ingredients are expected to be more effective. Chinese medicine also places a strong emphasises on long-term conditioning, whether it’s for recovery from a certain condition or for general good health. A good 方子 is therefore a far more complex and personal thing than, say, a scribble of “paracetamol” / “acetaminophen” on a piece of paper. :D

* fg’s gift for Gg (xx) is something for the waist. A brace support, maybe? For example?

My favourite line in this segment is when hg asked what will Gg and Dd do when they reach hg’s age. Given that the last two items (the prescription and xx) were health-related, I interpreted it as hg worrying about Gg and Dd’s health when they grow old... with all the health problems they already have. It’s the kind of thing a worried parent say to their children ~ my mom has said the same thing to me as well. 😢

p6. “The Cat Paw”

Not quite sure what’s happening here ... not sure what the cat paw is. (Sorry!!) But that é in the translation is Dd’s signature laugh (collection here), which is written as 鵝 (”Goose”) in Chinese 😂.

p7. “The Cat Toy”

Dd appeared to be shopping for a cat’s toy (something that can “hook the cat” in the translation, such that the cat can entertain itself and not rely on human companionship as much). Gg had already bought the toy though and sounded quite proud of it, told Dd to return the toy. The implied cat was, of course, Nut (堅果 Jianguo)... which had been repeatedly referred to in LRLG’s posts as Gg’s daughter.

p7. “Cool vs Cute”

Gg is often viewed as cute, and Dd as cool. Did Dd dislike Gg taking cute pictures for public consumption? Were they scheming an exchange of image? :D

And that’s it for this issue! Ooh, this took unexpectedly long ... I apologise for the ridiculous delay between the original post and this commentary! 

(I wrote half of it, then RL struck and I forgot about it.) (I’m hopeless.) (I need a 方子 for poor memory!!)

[doctenwho]

Gestures and Evasion

Hello! Welcome to a new DT fic! My deepest apologies that it’s been so long, and thank you so much for waiting so patiently! Life’s been a bit of a rollercoaster recently, and I’ve needed a bit to recuperate, but I’m back again!

This prompt didn’t have a specific character mentioned, but luckily, since it wasn’t anonymous, I was able to shoot pistachoz a DM and they’ve confirmed it’s a Tenth Doctor request! :D

Warning: None, I don’t think?

Word Count: 3,514

Summary: Check out the prompt above! :)

(Gif doesn’t belong to me, credit to the creator! :D)

The Doctor doesn’t really remember the first small act he’d committed to try and get his companion to notice him. To notice him on a... well, on a more personal level?

It’s a general memory, nothing pinpointed, but he knows it happened long ago.

It was something small—mundane. (Y/N) had more or less brushed the gesture off with a light laugh and a smile that made his hearts hammer away in his chest, but (Y/N) had really seen if for what it had been.

It wasn’t very often that the Doctor had these sort of feeling about anything, but there was just something special about (Y/N). Something he couldn’t put his finger on.  

He’d been trying for just about as long as the companion had been travelling with him to send little messages, or gestures in hopes that maybe (Y/N) would see what he was doing for what it was instead of brushing it off like she tended to do.

If he’s honest, he’s never really had this kind of problem before. He’s had many companions, and more often than not, those companions tend to want more from him than he’s willing to allow himself to give. Rose, and Martha—Jack, even—they were all looking for more from him, and being what he is, and what he does, it’s not that simple to reciprocate feelings.  

They’ll all age and eventually die, whereas he’ll just move on to his next bout of regeneration with a broken heart he’ll have to try his hardest to keep under wraps.  

The Doctor knows that maybe (Y/N) showing such little interest in him is almost a good thing. Less heartbreak down the road when (Y/N) decides not to accompany him any longer, or, worse, when old age takes (Y/N) away like every other human before her. It’s inevitable, and he really should have a stronger hold on human life compared to TimeLord life, but the loss always knocks him down for a while.

It should be a good thing, but he just can’t seem to bring himself around to believing that it’s a good thing. Not when every time (Y/N) brushes off a gesture he’s thought over, and put time and effort into, it fills his hearts with an unfamiliar pain he hasn’t felt since losing his family and Gallifrey alike.  

It had taken him a while to notice he was even trying to win (Y/N) in a sort of courtship way. And it had taken even longer to realize he’d been doing it for about as long as he’d known (Y/N). It hadn’t seemed like it at the time, but looking back now, he can see how all the little comments and gestures were more than just friendly.  

But she’d been brushing his attempts off since early in their travels. Shooting him a smile, but turning away when anything too even the slightest romantic turn. Avoiding his eyes when he stared fondly, or laughing it off when a compliment slipped past his lips.

He really didn’t understand it.  

He could see the Gallifreyan romantic gestures confusing (Y/N), but the few earth gestures he’d picked up barely stirred anymore of a reaction than the Gallifreyan ones. He didn’t know where he was going wrong—how it was all being perceived the way it was. The wrong way. He wasn’t getting the reactions he wanted and... well, it hurt.  

Both his pride, and his hearts.  

It had started small with flowers—or, a flower. They were on a foreign planet, but he knew giving small gifts like a flower was one of the human gestures. So, he’d searched around while his companion was busy exploring, and located the loveliest flower he could find. It was mixtures of blues and purples; native to the planet but incredibly rare considering they only bloomed twice a year, for no longer that three days at a time.  

The flower had a sweet smell; one similar to those of sweets from earth. For a while, before he’d remembered Earth didn’t have this specific species of flower, nor were they advanced enough in space travel to find one, he’d assumed they’d used the attractive scent of the flower as a marketing technique to sell their sweets.  

The sugary smell Earth sweets had would always come second to the scent of this specific flower.  

The exchange had been short, and less than pleasurable if the Doctor’s honest. He’d found (Y/N) sitting on the ground, just taking the calming atmosphere of the planet. His heart stuttered in his chest before he finally took those last few steps towards her, where he settled at her side and cleared his throat to gain her attention.  

He’d held the flower out, rambling out facts as (Y/N) took the flower into her hands. She gave it a sniff, and fiddled with the stem and petals for a second before smiling down at it. She stared down at it, before looking back at him with an appreciative smile. He’d thought he’d won her over, but instead, she settled the flower on the ground beside her.  

His hearts had cracked as his companion’s hand fell away from the flower, leaving it on the ground as she returned her attention to the world around her. He’d swallowed thickly before sitting himself beside her, not bothering to mention the fact his gesture had gone unnoticed.

It was the same ordeal when he’d ordered (Y/N) a space delicacy from one of his favorite planets, where his companion had taken the treat into her hands and tasted it without a second thought. Smiling down at the treat, before shooting him light smile as she licked her lips.

He didn’t know why he’d been expecting—hoping for—anything more than the usual ‘Thank you’ he always received when he did something out of the ordinary for his companion, but the mumbled words had filled his with a sense of sadness.  

It was silly.  

But he kept trying.

The gestures just kept coming. It was barely a forethought anymore. An unconscious effort to try and win over his companion—seeking this relationship (Y/N) quite obviously didn’t want. It was a sad downward spiral, but he really couldn’t imagine not trying to woo her. He’d been at it for so long, not trying sounded foreign.

He tried just about anything he could to get any sort of reaction. Any hint that his companion knew what he was trying to do. Any acknowledgment that she understood that he was trying. He’d prefer blatant rejection to this... whatever this evasive attitude (Y/N) was expressing.  

Dinner in the stars.

Unique gifts from distant planets.

Various treats and snacks from wherever they happened to be.

He even tried to learn more about human things on earth. How humans went about stuff like this, and how it all differed from his Gallifreyan roots. Human courting was quite the oddity.  

He didn’t talk to many humans who weren’t his companions, or people he’d saved in some way or another, but the man who ran one of the shops had taken some time to educate him, but the Doctor had come out of that conversation more confused than he’d gone in.  

But on the bright side, (Y/N) had enjoyed the bag of sweets he’d awkwardly bought to stand at the register and chat with the friendly shopkeeper.  

He was still at a loss. Nothing seemed to be working. Nothing wooed his companion. He didn’t understand—couldn't see how not one single thing he’d tried had gotten (Y/N)’s attention.

But he still had one more thing up his sleeve.  

“Where are we going?” (Y/N) asked cautiously from the seat in the console room. The Doctor was doing his usual laps around the TARDIS console to what should be six TimeLord’s jobs simultaneously. He’d gotten good at it over the years, but there was still, occasionally, some rough kickbacks when he couldn’t be everywhere at once.

“It’s a surprise,” the man shot his companion a grin, pulling a lever. At this point, (Y/N) should be used to the surprises. He never got the kinds of reactions he was looking for, but he was still hoping that... maybe sometime he would. That something he planned would be the special one that could win his companion over.

(Y/N) didn’t reply, but continued to watch the Doctor how around the TARDIS like a madman.  

They weren’t far from the next greatest surprise the man had planned. They’d been travelling a little under an hour, and (Y/N) had only joined him in the console room ten-ish minutes prior, but he’d still refused to tell her where they were heading.  

(Y/N) was still quiet when the Doctor stabilized his space and time machine, checking everything twice before finally tugging his companion up by the hand and leading her towards the doors.  

He threw the doors open, grinning widely as he gazed around. Just as promised.  

It was a phenomenon really. A collection of heart shaped carbon monoxide ice chunks. No one was quite sure how they’d been formed, or whether someone had carved the hearts and left them to float in this tiny orbital pull in the middle of nowhere.  

It was a sight few saw—the Doctor had only heard of this place from chatter on a nearby planet, but he had to admit it was just as beautiful as he’d imagined. The ice glistened as the light casted from the TARDIS hit it, making them twinkle just as brightly as the stars in the background.

It was about as romantic as you could get.  

“Woah,” (Y/N) gaped at his side, and the Doctor turned to look, smile slowly lighting up his face as he watched his companion’s eyes travel from heart to heart. “What... what is this?”

“It’s carbon monoxide ice,” the Doctor informed softly, the smile on his face widening as his hearts thrummed in his chest. His companion had an astonished look on her face, eyes wide with childlike curiosity. “Like that of Mars in your solar system. No one’s really sure how they take shape but... well, they’re quite the sight.”

“It’s beautiful,” (Y/N) breathed out, almost like her breath was taken away by the sight.  

The Doctor had been told by many, had seen for himself as beauty takes away people’s breath. He’d been there too, once or twice with his current companion.  

He barely even caught his words as they left his mouth—his heart speaking before his brain had a chance to filter his words, “Like you.”

That was his moment of error, the Doctor noticed.

He frowned to himself as his companion slowly pulled themself away, shying away from his side and retreating back into the TARDIS with one last lingering glance at the ice. The Doctor’s hearts froze within his chest, as he watched uncertainly—unsure just how he’d managed to mess this one up as well.  

“It’s late,” (Y/N) muttered softly before leaving the Doctor alone in the TARDIS doorway, the man’s gaze locked on one lone heart with a barely noticeable crack down the center. It wouldn’t be long before the orbit around them pulled the frail pieces apart, severing the heart into two.  

The TimeLord forced a breath, squeezing his eyes shut for just a moment as he resided completely with the cracked heart.

He didn’t understand.  

The clumps of frozen carbon monoxide made his hearts hurt the longer he stared, so he was quick to follow on his companion’s footsteps, spinning on his heels and shuffling back inside, making sure to shut the doors behind him.

He wanted to flee this place, this failed attempt, but he couldn’t bring himself around to flying the TARDIS at the moment. He didn’t have the energy too. Like expected, (Y/N) had disappeared into the TARDIS, so the Doctor plopped heavily down on the seat.  

Maybe it was time to accept the fact that his companion did not reciprocate his feelings. That he was barking up the wrong tree. He’d thought that they were... but maybe he was wrong.  

The Doctor stared up at the TARDIS ceiling, his space and time machine giving a little hum as if she could feel his worries and mood. His hand patted the back of his seat halfheartedly as a promise that he was okay.  

It had never been this hard with any other companion. There was just something so special about (Y/N). Something he wanted to get closer too, even though he knew he’d end up hurt in the end. Something he wasn’t sure he’d ever get now.  

Maybe it was time to settle this once and for all. His gestures were overlooked, or, maybe even ignored. As much as it hurt to admit, (Y/N) didn’t seem very enthused with anything he’d done. Maybe it was the human not understanding what he was trying to do—but humans tended to like words.

--

The Doctor from (Y/N) in her room, perched on the edge of her bed. (Y/N)’s attention raised when the Doctor announced his arrival with a sturdy knock on the slivered-open door. The knock pushed the door in enough for the Doctor to poke his head in.  

“Do you, uh, have a moment?” He asked cautiously, almost ready for the rejection he’d been living with for the better part of travelling with (Y/N). He’d grown used to it, but it still tugged at his heart strings. She’d never deny him conversation, but he could still see and feel her pulling away from him.  

“Of course,” (Y/N) sat up a little more, giving the Doctor her full attention. “What’s the matter?”

He hadn’t thought this far ahead, the Doctor realizes as he shifts from foot to foot in (Y/N)’s doorway, mind vacant of any thoughts. (Y/N) tilted her head at the Doctor’s odd silence, studying him from her spot, “Doctor...? Are you okay?”

“Yes,” the man cleared his throat. Then did so a second time before continuing, “I wanted to, uhm, know what you thought about the, uh,” he gestured broadly behind him, hoping his companion could piece his question together.

“The ice hearts?”

It was a good thing his companion was so clever.

“Yes, the hearts.” The Doctor nods, fingers tapping awkwardly against his side. “Did you... did you like them?”

“They were beautiful,” (Y/N) repeated once again, fidgeting with her own fingers, “it was a bit unexpected, but... yeah, I did. Thanks for showing me them.”

The man gave a nod, but didn’t voice anything. If he thought his voice would’ve come out naturally instead of the anxious waver he was sure would be there, he definitely would’ve replied with a soft ‘My pleasure,’ because it really was his pleasure to introduce (Y/N) to the beauty of the galaxy.  

There was an unsettling moment of silence where neither really knew what to say.  

It was the Doctor who broke it, staring at his shoes as he finally allowed the words he’d been stewing over out, “do you... not like me, (Y/N)?”

“What?” the surprise was prominent. The word rang out for a second before the Doctor lifted his gaze to settled on (Y/N)’s shocked, tense frame. Her muscles were stiff, body sitting up straighter and more alert than she had been when he’d first asked to talk. “I like you plenty,” (Y/N) assured quickly, “what gave you the idea I didn’t?”

There was a list, really. He could count things off on his fingers, but he wasn't here to be petty. The man bit his lip, leaning against the doorframe to support his weight. He honestly just wanted to know why (Y/N) was so evasive every time he so much as tried to woo her.  

“You... well, uh, you never seem to care,” he made sure to word it carefully, “I... I’m not sure if you even notice, or ignore it, or what. I just, I need you to be honest with me. Why haven’t you... reciprocated any feelings?”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Doctor,” (Y/N)’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and one ankle crossed over the other as she leaned forwards in interest.

“Since I met you,” the Doctor swallowed, “I’ve been... I don’t know how to say it but, trying to court you, I suppose? That’s not really something humans do, but it is something TimeLords do. It’s just that... every attempt I’ve made... every try I’ve made to do something cute, or romantic, you brush it off. You’re evasive, and... I’d just like to know if that’s because you don’t reciprocate my feelings. If you don’t feel the same, we can just put this all behind us.”

“It’s not like that,” (Y/N)’s voice was quiet, a near whisper, “please don’t think it’s because I don’t like you. I do, Doctor. I just... I wasn’t sure.”

“Weren’t sure?” The man furrowed his eyebrows, “sure about what?”

“I didn’t want to risk our friendship. I noticed everything, the flower you gave me, the sweets. All the dinners, and the... the dates. Today with the ice hearts even. I didn’t know how to admit I liked you when there was a chance you didn’t like me back the same way. I don’t know what I’d do if I ruined this.”

“But the gestures and dates?” the Doctor frowned, finally stepping into (Y/N)’s room and sitting on the edge of her bed beside her. He’d thought he was being obvious.

“Very obvious,” his companion let out a little laugh, “and I should’ve known, but I was scared. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. This adventure is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I didn’t want to compromise that by admitting my feelings.”

He could understand that, a bit. “So... you do like me too?”

“Of course,” (Y/N)’s smile was soft, “a lot, Doctor. I just... didn’t know how to reciprocate it without there being a possibility that everything could fall through, and we’d ruin our relationship in the process. I know you were offering it, but I was nervous. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” the Doctor chastised quietly. He paused for a second before speaking again, “I’m having a hard time believing this is real,” he admitted with a tilt of his head, “you really acknowledged it all? I... never noticed.”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) smiled softly, “and I have proof it wasn’t all in vain, Doctor.” (Y/N) stood up from her spot on the bed, and moved towards her book shelf. It housed a few books, and some trinkets she’d found on their travels and liked. She continued speaking as she searched through the books, “I really enjoyed everything you put together for me since I met you. I wasn’t sure you were really doing it all to be romantic at first but... the hearts today really summed that up for me.”

The man watched as she tugged on one of the book’s spines, pulling it from the shelve and holding it in her hands for a second before she waving to retake her seat. She started flipping through the pages, so the Doctor leaned over her shoulder to watch.  

“Here,” she stopped on a page towards the middle of the book. The Doctor refrained from gaping as his companion carefully pulled that singular flower he’d given her all that time ago from the book. The room was instantly filled with that sweet, alluring scent and his hand shook as he took the pressed flower into his fingers by the delicate stem.

“I thought you left this,” he admitted softly, studying the vibrant colours that had stayed even after being pressed into the book. He hadn’t noticed her bringing the flower back. Had really thought she’d left it on that planet and ignored the gesture entirely.  

“I couldn’t,” his companion sighed, “it was selfish, even if I didn’t want to ruin what we had, I wanted to keep it to remember the moment. To remember you, even if we did at some point part ways.”

“You’re brilliant,” the Doctor breathed out, finally passing the flower back like it was as precious as a crown jewel or something. “So incredibly brilliant, (Y/N).”

(Y/N)’s cheeks flushed and she ducked her head away from his gaze, but it was different than the usual brushing away of his gestures. Something was different now.  

They hadn’t cleared it all up, that was for sure. He still had questions, and she still had doubts. They didn’t quite understand each other yet, but it hadn’t all been in vain like he’d thought. She’d seen it all. Acknowledged it, even if not to him. His hearts swelled as he smiled lightly.

There was still a lot they needed to discuss, but for right now, the Doctor just wanted to spend a bit of time with his companion—without all the hassle of their rightful doubts and insecurities.

“Do you think we could... spend a little while longer looking out at the frozen carbon monoxide outside before we leave? It really is quite pretty, and... maybe we can talk about this more later?”

“I’d... love that, Doctor.”

“Good. Uh, great,” he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. His companion giggled at him, but he didn’t mind in the slightest, “allons-y, (Y/N).”

<><><><>

Once again, sorry this took so long! I’m hoping to keep this momentum going and keep getting out the requests in waiting! I hope you all liked this fic, it was a bunch of fun to write! I thoroughly enjoyed creating the frozen carbon monoxide hearts, so I hope you all liked that as well!

As always, feel free to prompt me again if this wasn’t what you were looking for (though it might take a while to get around to it if you do!) and thanks once more for requesting. Hoping everyone had a good morning/day/night!

[nyasiaaaaa]

The Little things

Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem reader

Word count: 8k

Warnings: established relationship, shooting, angst, Smut (18+), spanking, Dom/Sub, oral sex ( m and f receiving) P in V, fingering ( f receiving), spitting, use of good girl ( once), breeding kink if you squint, Fluff, helmet-less Din ( he only wears it when he’s outside), tw eating

A/N: First time writing smut and first time writing for a Pedro character. For @its--fandom--darling 1k follower celebration!!! Thank you @absurdthirst for all your help. Thank you @aripariii for looking over this.


You throw your head back in frustration as you contemplate giving up feeding the kid. You had been trying to feed him vegetables for the past week. Every time you wanted to feed him some smashed peas with a spoon, he would use the force to push it into your mouth. You lift your head as you take a deep breath, ready to try again when Din walks in and throws jerky on the table for the kid. You look at Din in disbelief before getting up to clean the mess while you let the kid eat.

“I’ll be back in a few; this shouldn’t take long,” Din announced as he stood in place, scanning the room for his blaster.

“You missing something,” you asked, hopping on one of the crates looking over at him with a mischievous smile 

“Give it,” he grumbled out, walking up to you holding his hand out

“Give what,” you questioned as you tilted your head. “Give this,” you smiled, pulling out his blaster.

Din tried to reach for it as you pulled back “nope, let’s make a deal.”

“I don’t have time for games, cyar’ika,” he replied trying to convince you to give it up.

“Then let’s not play any. I’ll give you your blaster if you quit giving the kid what he wants when I’m trying to give him a balanced diet, ok.” 

“Ok,” he agrees to take the blaster from your hand. 

“Also, you don’t have to rush back for lunch; just make sure you are here for dinner” he gave you a nod in response as he fished, packing up his things.

You pick the kid up and dust him over, carrying him over to Din so he could say bye. Din looked down at his son and ruffled his head before looking at you. He bent down, placing his cold beskar helmet against your head. He didn’t need to say anything you already knew and vise versa. Din straightened up and walked towards the ramp before typing in buttons and letting it down. 

As Din was walking away, he stopped to remind you for the millionth time, “cyar’ika, don’t leave the ship, this is one of the most dangerous plants and-“

“I know you’ve told me all this before. I won’t leave me. The kid and I are going to chill here and watch cartoons or something,” you told him, interrupting his repetitive speech.

He stood there hesitantly, debating in his head before choosing to just walk down the ramp and away. You guys never did that stop and turn around things you’ve seen in movies; there was no need to. He was always going to come back; he had promised you. 

As soon as the Din was far away enough, you closed the ramp and started getting ready to leave. Dins birthday is coming up, and you’re trying to make him a chocolate cake. In one of your late-night pillow talks, you asked Din what he remembers from his childhood before the Mandalorian, he replies that he doesn’t remember a lot. What he does remember is how every year, for his birthday, his mom would make him a chocolate cake. It was the best thing he has ever eaten in his life, well, the second-best thing he adds a few seconds later. 

Since then, you have been collecting all the ingredients you need to make the cake over the next couple of weeks. You have everything but cocoa powder, the most crucial ingredient. You’ve looked everywhere, every plant, every website you couldn’t find it anywhere else but this plant. 

You don’t want to go against what Din has asked you, especially because you said you wouldn’t. Still, you just wanted to do something special for him, for his birthday, because he deserved it. After all, he had done for you, you wanted to do something for him even if others might consider it a little thing you knew it would mean a lot to Din.

 For example a few months ago, you tried to make sure Din started enjoying his meals more and eating meals more frequently. You did this by eating together like a clan Breakfast, Lunch, and dinner. You and Din sit next to each other at the small table you had built together, the kid in his high chair. Din had to adjust to it but never complained. He even started to look forward to it, rushing back to the ship sometimes after a bounty to make it in time for lunch or dinner.  

You smiled, thinking fondly of the memories you’ve created with your clan over the past months as you started getting ready to leave. As you’re finishing up and was about to leave, you activate the droid; you have to watch the kid. This droid you had found in a past mission but never had a reason to fix it until now. You had been working on it the ship during flight and while Din was away on hunts. 

When Din had asked you about the droid, you said you were programming the IG-11 to help clean around the ship. Din had been uncertain because of its killing background but ended up letting it go. You had lied though, you had kept the Droids programming and just added few changes to it. The changes were that when you left, its mission was to protect the child and take care of all its needs. It was to kill anyone or thing that came onto the ship unless it was you, Din, or the kid. 

The little white lie was never a problem either because you only activated the droid when you and Din were out to watch the kid, and you always made sure to come back to the ship before Din to deactivate it, plus Din never questioned why he’d never seen the droid in “action.” 

You set out to the local market nearby, where you were hoping to find the last ingredient so you could make the cake. Since you started a little late today and this is one of the most dangerous plants in the galaxy, you walked a bit faster than usual. The quicker you walked, the more excited you got. You were about to be done getting all the supplies to make the cake, just in time, because Dins birthday was in a couple of weeks. As you neared the market, you prayed to Maker that the thing you’re risking your life over was going to be here. You were incredibly proud of yourself for keeping this a secret from Din without him suspecting a thing.

***********

Din had tracked his bounty to a bar nearby; as he neared the bar, he could hear the noise of people inside. As soon as he stepped foot into the bar, it went silent, some people shaking in fear, others puffing their chest out and rising onto the balls of their feet slightly. Din looked around the bar; it wasn’t a bad bar. It just wasn’t the nicest. 

The same color brown wood was throughout, green bar stools, plastic lawns chairs, mice having a party in every corner. Also, the floor was sticky; he could feel it with every step he took, he would have to use a little more effort than usual to lift his foot up, and you could hear it in every step. Din hadn’t spotted his bounty during his initial scan of the room, so he turned to the bartender to ask if he had seen the bounty. The bartender wasted no time and pointed to the backroom as he kept his head down. Din reaches the backroom and sees a smaller room same design and layout as the front with four men playing poker and three bodyguards. Dins usually not a man of words, but he doesn’t really feel like fighting today, so he tells them, “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours.”

 One guard rushes towards Din and tries to grab him, but Din is quicker; he pulls a blaster and shoots a bodyguard in the chest. He starts getting attacked by two of the bodyguards but takes them out with ease. After the last bodyguard fell to the floor, he heard footsteps pounding against the floor, then pressure is applied to his back, one of the poker players had jumped on him. Din falls backward, crushing the person underneath him; he then quickly rolls over, props himself on one knee, and pulls his blaster to shoot the guy. Din then whips his gun around to the other side of the room to find two people standing there shaking with their hands up, neither of them his bounty. Din snaps his head in the direction of the door he came in as he hears the bell ring that’s placed above the door. He pushes himself off the ground and starts chasing after the man.

*************

You had to go to three different vendors in the market, but you finally found the cocoa powder you were looking for, the lady dared to charge you three times its worth, but you didn’t care anything for Din. You had to wander deep into the market to find the cocoa, so on your way out, you were doing a slight jog. You had hoped you were making good time and would make it back in time, but you had no way of knowing for sure.

***************

Din is chasing after the guy, and he’s so close the guy knows this too. The bounty suddenly stops in the middle of a crowd; he pulls out a blaster and waves it. Sounds of shock and fear echoed threw out the public. Din steps forward to get the guy he needs alive; the man suddenly looks around frantically, pulls the closest person to him, and puts a gun to their head. It was you. The bounty had put the gun to your head. Din’s mind blanks. He has no other thoughts besides getting to you; he doesn’t care if the bounty is for him brought in cold. The bounty had touched what’s his. 

Din quickly pulls his blaster ready to fire when suddenly you pull forward, folding over as you push down on your toes; you then spring up, moving your head back to strike the man’s head. The man then stumbles backward from the sudden impact. Din is quick to act as he runs towards the man and then shoots the man in his arm, the man falls to the ground, and Din proceeds to lift the man up and place him in handcuffs. 

Din turns towards you to scan your body as he looks for any injuries. His beskar covered face then looks up towards you as he asks, “hurt,” and you proceed to shake your head no. Before you can ask if he’s hurt, he grabs your arm and pushes you in front of him, signaling to walk. You do walk as he follows, dragging the bounty behind him. 

The journey back to the ship was quiet, too quiet even the bounty tried to speak on the tensions, “struggle in paradise, eh.” 

Din pressed his finger into his wound for that one.

You’d been so distracted by the event that happened you had forgotten about the droid, but it was too late. Din had already typed in the code, and the ramp was coming down. 

This was the first time, the one time Din wasn’t the faster person in the room; by the time Din pulled his blaster out, it was too late. It all happened in a blink of an eye. The bounty was dead. The droid shot him. 

You were nervous, it’s not like you were in desperate need of the credits, but the money could have help, and you know Din just went through a lot to get him.

“The child is safe, would you li-“IG-11 started before Din shot him. You were about to complain, but then you remember the situation you were in.

You stood in silence for a couple of minutes before deciding to look at Din only to find him staring at you. You turned your head away so quick that pain in your neck started to arise. “Din I-I-I’m so so sorry this is all my fault, I’ll take the blame, ok. Just tell Greef Karga, ok. Can he be brought in dead? I mean, it’s not a big deal, y-y-you’ve done it before. Greef Karga will s-still a-a-a-accept it right …. RIGHT!”

Din didn’t utter a word as he dragged the body onto the ship; he put the body into carbon freeze and closed the ramp. Then he just stood there. He didn’t move an inch. The tension in the air was so thick, you could even breathe properly. You knew this was your time to leave him alone. Earlier, you had noticed that the kid wasn’t in IG-11s arms, so you were planning on looking for him, assuming that he had been put to sleep because this was around his nap time.

“Ok, so I see that you need alone time; I’m just going to find the kid and take care of him,” you said as you turned to go look for him.

You didn’t even get to do a complete 180 before Din grabbed onto your wrist and twisted it, pulling your body closer to him. You could hear the hard deep breaths he was taking as he stared right into your soul.

“Why,” he whispered out, hurt invoice.

 “I-I-I,” you tried to speak, your eyes moving back and forth as you tried to find his.

“Why would you be so stupid? I told you not to leave, I told you this place was dangerous. You didn’t listen, why can’t you ever just listen.” He snapped at you, saying every word with a tremble. He let you go and started to walk away from dragging his feet across the floor.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out, your eyes watering up, tears threatening to fall.

 Your words had made him stop dead in his tracks. “Are you” he questions as he walks towards you. Each step he took towards you, you took one back till your back hit the wall. You were nervous but weren’t afraid, you knew Din would never hurt you, but you still didn’t like to be around him when he got like this. 

“WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU RISKED YOUR LIFE FOR? DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT YOU COULD HAVE DIED TODAY? DO YOU EVEN CARE?”

You did understand how sideways things could have gone, and you were trying to tell him that, but the words kept getting caught in your throat. So you ended up just slowly shaking your head in agreement.

“Are you sure cause you don’t seem like it? What about that FUCKING droid? You lied to me; why would you do that? You already know how I feel about them, so why would you do that. And to leave THE KID with it. I hope whatever you got was worth it. Just do what I brought you here for and watch the child,” he growled out as he walked away towards the cockpit so he could set our next coordinates. 

You stood there for a second shook but started to move to find the kid after the ship took off. He was in your old room, which you and Din turned into a toddler’s room after you moved into his. You picked the kid up and sat down in a rocking chair. You hugged the kid close to you as tears fell down your cheek. You were angry. Din had no right to talk to you like that. You messed up, you understand that, but to yell at you like he did have. Plus, you had risked your life for something for him. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t know it; he should know you better than to just assume that you would have intentionally risked your life for something stupid.

***********

 Din sat in his chair in the cockpit, feeling the weight of guilt immediately; the weight of his beskar couldn’t even compare to how heavy this felt. He felt awful; he regretted every word that came out of his mouth. He was just so angry; he had almost lost the only person he has ever cared about since his parents besides the kid. That was no excuse; he has had his fair share of screw-ups, the number of times he has almost gotten killed was too many to try to count on both hands.

 He took his helmet off and put his hands in his head. He was stressed after all the events that happened today, but he was most worried about what had just happened in the bay. He deliberated on going down there and apologizing to you but ultimately decided to give you your space and apologize later today. 

Din was going to apologize, he swore on Maker, but later that day, when he found you so he could apologize, you were sleeping in your old room. He was tempted to move you to the room you shared but then decide against it knowing you had fallen asleep in your old room for a reason. He slept in the cockpit that night; it didn’t feel right without you next to him. It’s funny Din spent most of his life alone; now he doesn’t even know how to sleep alone. 

The next day Din did honestly try to apologize to you, but every time he entered the same room as you were in, you got up and left. Din understood that you probably need space after the fourth time stepping into the same room as you and you walking out. Din decided that you probably needed one more day.

The next day came, and you still were leaving every room he came into. He was sad; he missed the family dinners and lunches, he couldn’t wait any longer, he decided to apologize to you as soon as possible.

Din stepped into the kitchen area around lunchtime; he knew you were cooking something that requires your full attention, so he knew you wouldn’t step away. 

“I’m-I’m sorry, I should have never yelled at you like that. I was angry because the bounty tried to run and then held you at gunpoint, he was touching what was mine, and I-I-I took it out on you. I should have never taken it out on you; I’m sure whatever you went out for was well worth it. I’m sorry, cyar’ika, ni kar’tayl gar darasuum.”

Din waited there for something, anything, you didn’t say a single word. You instead finished up your cooking, turned the stove off, and proceeded to fix you and the child a plate before heading off to the cockpit to eat. 

Din stood there in shock; this is not how things usually go after an argument. Din stood there for a few minutes as he contemplated what to do next. Maybe he had said it wrong, he thought; Din hadn’t apologized a lot in his life, he could count how many times on one hand, and all those times he had been with you. All those times, you had also accepted it, so Din shook his head of the thought that he had said it wrong. He decided to give you another day to think about accepting his apology.

***********

A day turned into two, then three, next things Din knew, three weeks had passed. It had been complete silence for three whole weeks. Din was dying inside. He barely ate or slept; he missed you, everything about you, even things that seemed stupid. He missed the way your hair smelled, he missed the warmth of your body as he slept next to you, he missed your smile. Din has never been before addicted to something, but he will bet this is what it feels like to go through withdrawal.

He craved you mentally and physically; he had started waking up this past week on the verge of a nut. He always had the same dream to, he would apologize and you would accept. Then he would worship your body like never before, discovering new things about you, what turns you on and how flexible you really are. Each and every time right before he would nut, right when you give him permission to cum inside, he wakes up, every time like clockwork. 

*************

It was around lunchtime, and Din sat in the kitchen debating his next move. He needed you. He missed the way you guys used to be as a clan; just him and the kid alone wasn’t the same. He looked up and saw you putting the kid in a high chair and turning to the fridge, taking stuff out to make sandwiches. He laid back, watching you move around the kitchen. You had one of his shirts on with some shorts that you couldn’t see unless you reached up to get something that made your shirt rise. 

He watched as you bent over getting something out of the fridge, his dick twitched in his pants. He had been so deprived of you that anything you did got him hard; he grunted as he started to palm himself over his pants.

You had heard Din behind you, you smiled to yourself, you knew he was dying inside, you’d heard it every morning when he was rubbing one out. You honestly had stopped being mad like a week and a half ago. You just wanted to see how long Din could stay away from you; you really wanted to see how long till you had Din Djarin on his knees. 

You finished cooking and made some food for the kid and you, but instead of going up to the cockpit like you usually do, you ate in the kitchen. You decided to stand up to eat, leaning over the counter, back facing Din. You moaned with every bite you took, doing a little happy dance.

You had unknowingly confirmed to Din that you were no longer upset and were playing. He had suspected it but wasn’t sure; you would do things like get changed with the door open or take a shower with the door open. He saw those things and thought that you were ready to talk, but when he tried, you walked away. He had assumed that you weren’t ready and wasn’t doing those things on purpose. He knew now, though, that you were playing some type of game, a game he was about to end. 

You had finished eating and looked up to find the kid sleep in his chair. You took the kid and put him in his room so he could sleep in peace. You came back to the kitchen to clean up; you felt Din’s eyes on you everywhere you went. You walked over to the crates to put some things from the kitchen up, passing Din as you went. You had felt him before you saw him, his back pressed up against you. You could feel the heat radiating off his clothed body as he pressed up against you. You leaned in for a second before realizing what you were doing. You turned around, trying to leave, but Din stood in your way. You had no other choice but to look up at him and go along with whatever he was trying to do.

“What do you want, Din,” you asked 

“I was going to say I was sorry.”

“Well, apology not accepted,” you said quickly, cutting him off before he said another word.

“See cyar’ika keyword, was, “he replied looking at you with his brown eyes

“So what do you want now, Din,” you asked as you walked backward, eventually running out of space as your back hit the wall. You swallowed the lump in your throat and asked him again what he wanted.

He didn’t reply; instead, he reached up and took a finger drawing it from your collar bone to your chest; you shivered as he stared circling your covered nipple before pinching it.

“You,” he said 

 “What”

 “You had asked me what I wanted now, and my answer is you,” he replied.

You were about to question it when he brought his finger up to your lips to quiet you before bringing his hand down and up your shirt to play with your breast. He made a low groan in his throat when he realized that you weren’t wearing your band wrap.

“At first, I was mad that you had put yourself in danger. Then I was a little sad when you started dodging me; it really hurt when you didn’t respond to my apology,” he chuckled. You could hear the smirk in his voice. He lifted up your shirt up over your head. He placed his hands back on your breast and then pinched one of your nipples, making your head fall back as you moaned out loud. 

“Then you started playing games with me, messing my head all up. To blame you for playing this game would be wrong of me,” he said as he left you boobs, and his hand traveled up to wrap around your throat. Your body leaned into his touch, your hand reaching out to wrap around his wrist that was at your throat. 

His hand squeezed your throat tighter at your silent request as he pushed you back, bringing his head down to bite along your collars before mumbling against your skin, “I realized that it’s not your fault, I should have taught you better, and I will” he said and then quickly pulled away and grabbed a chair to sit down.

“What,” you asked, eyes popping out head. You were confused, but it was too late; Din had already pulled you over his lap. He had pulled down your shorts; he was excited to see that you were wearing a thong, so he left your underwear in place.

“Din, what are you doing?” you questioned as you shifted around on his lap, trying to get a better look at him.

“If you’re going to act like a little brat, then I’m going to treat you like a little brat,” he said as he processed to take his gloves off. 

“I will give you an equal amount of slaps on each cheek, and you will count each one out, ok, and safe word is cake, ok, “He asked as he messaged each cheek.

You shook your head as consent, “I need to hear a yes cyar’ika,” he said, giving you a little tap on your right cheek.

You yelped, surprised by the slight sting that followed that slap, and wondered how on Tatooine you were going to endure more, mainly because you and Din have never done something like this before. A slap or two while he hit it from behind, was the closest thing that had ever happened.

“Yes,” you were excited, you’d never seen this side of Din; you might even start messing with Din more often. 

Din was smiling; he always loved to try new things with you. He continued to run over each cheek for a few more seconds before he raised his hand and landed the first smack on your right cheek. 

“One” You choked out as he rubbed the cheek he just slapped. 

It was hard, and it stung, but there was something about it that turned you on. 

Din lifted up his hand before smack the left cheek “two,” you tried to suppress your moan. You were kinda embraced at the fact you were getting turned on from this.

When Dins hand landed on your right cheek again for the second time, you moaned loudly as you said the number three. Din smiled at that; he was happy you were enjoying this new thing. Din continued to tear your ass up, each slap hurting more than the last. You were getting wetter with each one to the point where your wetness started to drip down your leg, your underwear no longer keeping it in as it was soaked.

You were preparing to feel a sting on your left cheek for the last slap. Instead, Din pushed you off his lap and set you onto the floor. You laid there confused as he spread your legs open and took your thong off. He got on the side of you and leaned down to kiss you. Your lips captured his in a passionate kiss. You were distracted as Din slipped his tongue into your mouth, so you didn’t see it coming. He had raised his hand and slapped your pussy. You throw your head back as you moan, tears streaming down your face from the intensity of the sudden, overwhelming rush of pleasure. 

You shot up before going back down as you raised your hip as he started to rub circles on your clit. He reached down, placing kisses along your neck up and down your neck to your collarbone and back up. He took your ear lobe and brought it into his mouth, pulling on it before letting it go.

These slow circles on your clit were killing you, “Please,” you whimpered as you reached down, placing your hand on top of him, encouraging him to go faster. 

He slapped your hand aways, stopping because of you. He rubbed his nose up and down on your ear before asking. 

“are you going to be a good girl for me?”

You shook your head up and down, unable to speak as he started playing with your clit again. You didn’t realize that this game you were playing had affected you too till now. You were so desperate; you would do anything he asked just so you could cum on him because of him.

 He took his hand away from cunt and brought it up to your lips. You looked Din in the eyes as you took two of his fingers into his mouth and sucked on them. You closed your eyes as you moaned, tasting yourself on his fingers. You weaved your tongue around his fingers before you hollow your cheeks, making a popping sound when he pulled them out.

He ran his finger down your body before shoving two fingers inside of you. You moved your hips down to meet the thrust of his hand. Your legs threaten to close as the pleasure builds, nonsense mumbling falling from your lips.

“More,” you begged 

“Faster,” you cried as he gave in to both of your demands. 

Suddenly he stopped, and your whines of complaint soon turned into a moan as he pressed his tongue against your clit. He shifted so he could wrap his hands around your thighs as he dove in. It was still the best thing he has ever tasted, he thought to himself. Your back arches as he bites softly on your clit before he sucks on it, and he pushes two fingers into you. You reached down your finger through Din’s hair, causing him to moan into you to moan as you clench around him. Din loves feeling the way your body reacts to him, the way you gripped his fingers, his tongue, his dick. 

You were close. You can feel it, and so could Din, so he quickened his pace. 

“I’m- I’m. “You tried to speak be couldn’t 

“I know,” he said, moving his thumb to circle your clit

You were so close, you could feel it in your stomach. You were about to cum when Din pulled his fingers out and started to lick them clean. 

You let a puff of air out as you lose your high. You prop yourself on your elbows as you looked at him, throwing your hands up asking why.

“I just wanted you to see how it feels to work so hard for something only to have it taken from you at the last minute.” He said, standing up but never breaking eye contact with you. You choked on your spit when you realized what he was referring to. 

You tried to stand up, but he placed a hand on your shoulder, pushing you back down into your knees. You cocked your head to the side, and he just reached down and took your hand, placing it on top of his pants.

You looked up at him licking your lips before unbuttoning his pants and pulling down his zipper; you pushed his pants down along with his boxers down. You spit into your hand before wrapping your hand around his dick as much as you could. You stroked him before sticking your tongue out and licking the tip, then running your tongue up and down his shaft. 

He grabbed you by your hair, yanking you back to look up at him. “Don’t play with me,” he said before taking his hand and wrapping it around your jaw to keep it open as he spits in it. 

He let you go, and you stroked him a few times before taking him into your mouth. You moaned around him at the taste of him; this caused Din to lose his balance for a second, making him grab onto a crate to balance himself. 

You swirled your tongue around his head before going back and forth, taking more of him in each time, you pulled back off of him, but strings of spit still connecting you to him. You purse your lips as you spit into your hand, reaching down to massage his balls before taking him back into your mouth, making sure to lick the pre-cum as you did. 

He reached behind your head to grab your hair as he thrust into your mouth, you gag on his dick, but he keeps going knowing that you will tap against his leg if it gets to be too much. Din grabbed on to your head with both hands as he continued to fuck your face; you could feel him inching down your throat with each thrust. He was about to nut; you could feel it as his balls started to tighten. He griped your hair tighter, signaling for you to look at him. “Where,” he asked, slowing down so you could choose.

He let go of your hair as you pulled back, sticking your tongue out. He smiled down out at you before taping his tip against your tongue a few times as he started to stroke his dick. He quickens his paces and grabs onto your head, pulling it tight, so he won’t miss his target. Din grunted as if he was in pain as he painted your face with white streaks. He rubs his dick smearing the last bit on your tongue. You swallowed the bit in your mouth before feeling around your face the rest and swooping it into your mouth. You licked your lips, smiling up at him when you were all done.

He bent down and swiped his thumb across your cheek, getting the little you had left behind into your mouth. You sucked on it for a second before he pulled it out. He grabbed onto your hand, helping you up as his hands cradled your face, and he pressed his lips to yours; he moaned into your mouth at the taste of him. He reaches down to grab your ass before smacking up light and kneading it as you wrap your arms around his neck.

He pulls back, breaking the kiss as he taps your side, signaling for you to jump up so he could carry you. You jump into his arms, and he takes you into the room you shared and lay you against the cot. You lay there waiting for him as he finishes getting undressed.

He got onto the cot and got between your legs; he stroked himself a few times before lining it up with you. He looked up to meet your eyes looking for consent, and you nodded your head, giving it to him. He slowly pushed into you feeling your walls stretch around him before tightening. Your head falls back as your eyes rolled into the back of your head. You grab onto the sheets, bunching them into your hands as you feel yourself being starched to your limit. You take your legs and wrap them around Din’s waist. You cross your ankles as you try to push him into you to make him go faster.  He stops suddenly, he’s not even all the way in, and he stops. You’re starting to regret trying to make him go faster, you can’t see much, but you can see him smiling. You know that smile, nothing good is about to come out of that smile. 

Din pulls all the way out before slamming back into you completely. You didn’t even make a sound because the air is knocked out of you; your back arches as you try to catch your breath. As soon as you caught your breath, he steals it as he leans down for a kiss capturing your lips roughly.

As he continuously pounds into you ruthfully, he takes one of your legs wrapped around his waist and pushes it to your chest to get a better angle to go deeper. You cry out with every thrust, your voice bouncing off the walls, echoing in the room. 

“Mine, This body, theses tits, this tight as pussy, it’s all mine,” he told you as he takes one of your nipples into his mouth. 

“It’s yours; every part of me is yours,” you agreed as you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him in closers. 

You were close, especially after being denied earlier; you need release. Din quicken his paces as he felt you clench tightly around him.

“I-I-I’m close,” you screamed out. 

“Cum for me, riduur,” he whispers in your ear.

The name he calls you pushes you over the edge; you clamp down on his dick as you cum. That doesn’t slow him down as he continues for a few strokes riding out you high before pulling out, flipping you onto your stomach, and pushing back into you without warning or rest. You back arch into his thrust as he makes your legs go apart, spreading you wider. He pops onto one knee, driving into you mercilessly as he reaches down to press your face into the mat. 

As he’s thrusting into you, you feel one of his fingers circle around your unstretched hole; you guys had been saving that experience, maybe for this moment. “Can I please? I’ll only put a finger in,” he begged you you nodding your head under his hand. He acknowledges the movement as he pulls out, reaching down swooping up some of your wetness before plunging back into you. He teases the hole before slowly pushing his thumb in, causing you to arch your back even more and let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “ f-f-fuck, Din” you stutter out when he got fully in.

Din quickens his pace in you as he sets a steady pace with his thumb. This was new to you, so being stretched like this, you were close to began for more; you wanted to know how it would feel to be pushed to your limit in both holes. You decided against it as you feel Din reach under you to toy with your clit, you chocked on your spit as you tried to catch your breath, all this pleasure was becoming too much for you to handle, you couldn’t even seem to catch your breath. 

The pressure builds up in your stomach once again as you feel your peak near. You let sob into the mattress as you feel yourself clench around Din like never before as you cum. Your back arching to the point of pain, which only adds to your pleasure. You feel Din slow down; at first, you are confused about what he’s doing, but then you realized he’s watching how well you take him. He’s looking at how your pussy quivers around him with every stroke. He then speeds up for a second, loving the sound of skin slapping and the gushing sound your pussy makes as your wetness flows out of you staining your sheets. 

Din chuckles before pulling you up by your hair, pressing your back to his chest, as he starts to thrust into you. Your body naturally arching into him as he reaches up and cups your right breast, moving his other hand down as he rubs vicious circles on your clit. Your tried body slumping against him as he takes you from behind. He knows you’re tired even if the grip you have on his dick says; otherwise, he stills know. He leans down into your ear, telling you, “you have one more in you, I know do.”

You reach up to take his hand from your breast to wrap it around your throat; you gave his hand an extra squeeze encouraging him. You get that familiar feeling in your stomach as he continues to pound into you with one hand wrapped around your throat and the other one rubbing circles on your clit. You whimper as you try to tell Din you close, but your body is too tired to even conjure up the words. Din understood you though, he was close, not far behind you. He knew that the feeling of you coming around him would do him.

You throw your head back against Din’s shoulders as you felt yourself unravel on him. Din places a hand on the wall as he losing his balance the feeling of your tighten around him as you milk him dry, he continues to pump into you, riding out of yours. Din pulls out, turning you onto your back, laying you down before opening your legs and settling himself between them. He pulled back for a second because you had winced in pain, his dick had rubbed against your extremely sensitive mound; he pulled back, readjusting his self before laying back down. He played comfortably in your arms, his head in the crook of your neck as he rubbed circles in your side while you laid there with your arms wrapped him.

Din lifts his head up and leans down to capture your lips in a sloppy but passionate kiss that held a lot of emotion behind it. You pull away, and he pushes his head into the crook of your neck, and you reach up and run your fingers through his loose curly. 

“I’m sorry about everything I said, it was wrong, and I was out of line.” He said but face still in your shoulder 

“It’s ok. I should have been more careful when I went out; I didn’t even bring a blaster with me,” you replied as you continued to massage his scalp.

“What did you get from the market.”

“It’s a surprise.”

“I hate surprises. Do you not remember the droid.” He asked 

“Hey, at least we know it effective,” you said laughing, but Din wasn’t

“Too soon,” you asked, but you knew it wasn’t as you felt Din smile against your skin. You guys fell asleep just like, you holding him in your arms.

********

The next day went by so smoothly; you guys were back to the daily routine like nothing happened. Din was excited to get back to the meal sharing, he didn’t say it, but he didn’t have to. You guys had eaten breakfast together but had your lunches separate because you each had your own projects to do. Which is what you told Din, but you had actually needed the rest of the day to set up everything for his birthday dinner and make the cake.

You weren’t even sure if Din knew today was his birthday, but even if that’s true, it will make for a better surprise. 

Din was coming down soon; he just had to set new coordinates. You guys needed to come out of hyperspace to get gas before continuing on your journey to the next plant where the next bounty is at, which is two days away. 

During one of your trips to the market, you found a pretty little black dress; you were so excited to wear it for his birthday. You don’t even remember the last time you were in a dress, and you knew Din had never seen you with one, so it would be like icing on top of the cake. 

 You heard footsteps above you move, and you were quick to act as you turned around, lit the candles on the cake, and flipped the light switch. 

You heard Din slide down the step and walked towards you; your back was still turned to him, and it was dark, but something was illuminating your face; he just didn’t know what. He reached over to the wall next to him and flipped the light switch on. He turns and sees the kid in his high chair next to you.

“cyar’ika,” He asked, stepping closer to you.

 You then turn around slowly, not wanting to make the candles go out. As soon as Din sees your face, he gives you a small smile, but it drops when he sees what’s in your hand. You were nervous for a second, thinking that you had crossed a line or something. Then you saw a single tear roll down Din’s face; you had never seen the man cry. You had been with him for close to a year and never have seen this. 

You set the cake down and quickly went over to him, embracing him in a hug. He hugged you back so tightly as if he was going to lose you.

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum, ner Ridder,” he said, but you only recognized one of the words used.

You reached up and wiped his tears and took his hand and led him over to the cake, Din looked at you before bending down to give you a quick kiss, and he straight up, closing his eyes for a second before bending down and blowing out his candles. You clapped your hands in enjoyment and excitement and reached over to pull in your face for a quick kiss. You heard a slight noise, and you pulled back and turned to see the kid clapping also.

You laughed at that before reaching over and grabbing a knife so Din could cut his cake. Din happily took the knife from you as he cut himself a pretty big piece of cake; he took a fork and a huge bite. Din moaned as he took his first bite, slowly chewing on the chocolate fudge cake with chocolate frosting. His tongue dashes out to lick up any residue that he might have left on his lips.

“I might have to change my mind. This might be the best thing I have ever tasted,” Din said, bringing down the fork for another bite.

You faked gasped, “what does that make me second.”

“You know what? I think I need a refresher, especially with you in that little black dress,” I said, licking his lip, and he wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Later, the kid and I are hungry; it’s time to eat,” you said as you shoved him off of you. 

He wrapped his arms around you from behind and kissed you on the neck before saying, “no, seriously, this is the best thing anyone could have given me. I have a question though, is this what you went out to get” he asked, you hummed in response. 

“As much as I love my gift, and I really do, please do risk your life over something like this. All I need is you and the kid, and I’m happy, ok.” He said 

“Ok”

Cyar’ika - darling

Ridder - wife/partner

Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum - I love you.

ner Ridder - my wife/ partner




[charming-charlie]

Washed Away

Title // Washed Away

Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings // Panic attacks sort of. This chapter is mostly clean.

Summary // Who knew hanging out with Buck and Christopher for a day would lead to a life or death situation?

Word Count // 1.5k

Prompt // Hi! Can i request a fic where you were with Buck & Christopher when the tsunami hit? They could be dating or crushing on each other. If nothing comes to mind, then it’s completely fine to ignore this request! Have a nice day!’

Author’s Note // This is Part 1 of the Washed Away series. || Part 2 || Part 3

It was a beautiful day at the pier. Crowded, yet beautiful. Carnival music was playing in every direction. The smell of funnel cakes, cotton candy, and popcorn wafted through the air. There was laughing, screaming, and merriment everywhere you looked.

You had to give Evan Buckley credit. He sure knew how to pick a good first date spot.

Okay, so maybe date was pushing it a little bit. You have known the guy for a while now, but that’s mostly because of Christopher. You are the nurse at Christopher’s school. It’s how you met Buck. When Christopher is ill, or perhaps has an incident where he needs to go home, sometimes Buck picks him up. He was, after all, one of the few people Eddie Diaz trusted around his son. Since Buck quit the LAFD and Eddie was working constantly to pick up the extra work, Christopher was often in Evan Buckley’s care.

And my goodness, what a charmer Evan Buckley turned out to be.

Buck and Christopher finished riding Shark Frenzy, a ride that reminded you of the teacups at Disney World. They met up with you at a blue picnic table, where you had cotton candy ready for the boys.

Buck took the blue one. “B for Buck, B for blue.”

Christopher took the pink one and dived right into it, giggling and enjoying himself.

“Mmm,” Christopher said with a satisfying smile. Pink floss was stuck to his fingers, but he paid no mind to it.

“Good?” Buck asked, and the little boy nodded. Buck went to snatch a piece, but Christopher pulled back with a laugh. It was kind of adorable to see.

“Where to next?” you asked as you looked around. In every direction, there were amusement park rides everywhere.

“Let’s take a break and play some games,” Buck said as he flashed you a charming smile.

The three of you cleaned up the table, with Buck tossing everything in the trash. You were on one side of Christopher and Buck was on the other, with the little boy using his crutches in between. Slowly, the three of you made your way to the arcade row on the pier. Games were lined up one right after another and Christopher pointed to a water gun shooting game.

“I want to play that,” he said, and Buck complied to his wishes.

You insisted on paying for a round or two, with Buck being out of a job and all, but the handsome ex-firefighter swatted your hand away and plopped two dollars on the table.

“Two rounds,” Buck told the person in charge.

“You are so stubborn,” you retorted as you pocketed your money.

Buck only smiled and sat down. He pulled Christopher into his lap and together, they began round one.

Christopher held the trigger and Buck controlled the aiming. The object of the game was to shoot a stream of water at a small target which will raise a platform. The first person whose platform reaches the top wins.

Together, they were invested. Honestly, you were watching from the sidelines and you thought for sure they had some kind of strategy planned out beforehand.

“I am so proud of you right now, I cannot be more proud of you. Come on, we’re so close! So close!” Buck was telling Christopher as their little platform was rising more and more with each passing second. Christopher was smiling the entire time, and when the bell rang, both boys acted like it was the greatest moment of their lives. They screamed and cheered, and celebrated their win.

“You did it! Come on, high five!” Buck said as he held his hand out.

Christopher slapped it as hard as he could, and Buck over-exaggerated the little boy’s strength and flailed backwards.

However, the sound of a siren interrupted the fun and games and Buck immediately turned. He was looking past you, over your shoulder. Slowly, he stood up, his eyes never leaving what was happening behind you. Curiosity got the better of you and you turned to see what the man was looking at.

“And we have a winner!” the man running the water gun booth said in the background, handing a giant brown teddy bear to Christopher.

But the two of you paid no mind to that as an ambulance rolled up through the crowd.

A person in some kind of dinosaur costume collapsed. Buck was inching closer to the scene, and you grabbed him by the arm to hold him in place. He looked down at your hand, which was around his bicep and his eyes traced your arm up to you.

“The paramedics got this,” you whispered to him and he nodded, looking defeated and a bit sad.

It broke your heart.

At school, when Christopher would see you, he would always go on and on about Buck and firefighting. Buck had such a passion for his job and to not have it at the moment must be soul-crushing.

“Buck!” Christopher said behind the two of you, “Buck!”

The paramedics shocked their patient with an AED and you could feel Buck exhale. He was holding his breath the entire time. You pulled him back and he turned to face you with a forced smile. While he would never admit it, he was so grateful you were there.

“Come on, you two. Let’s go sit down and take a break,” you said as you handed Christopher his crutches and abandoning the second round of the water gun game. The three of you found an empty bench at the edge of the pier and sat down. Christopher wanted to look out at the ocean, so Buck picked him up and helped him stand on the bench. Gripping the back of Christopher’s shirt tightly so that the boy doesn’t fall in, Buck sat down, and you sat next to him. There was silence for a little bit and you looked over at Buck, who seemed deep in thought.

“Ever think about what you wanna do with your life?” Buck asked, “What you want to be when you grow up?”

“Astronaut or a pirate,” Christopher answered instantly. It was like he didn’t even need to think about it.

Buck nodded in agreement. “Some good choices. Cool outfits too.”

“No wait,” Christopher said with a smile, “a firefighter.”

Of course, it made sense. His father was a firefighter and Buck used to be one. Growing up in that field and being around that environment made such an impression on Christopher.

Buck only chuckled and nodded a little to accept Christopher’s answer. He clenched his jaw, wanting to clearly move on from the topic. “What about you, Y/N? Was nursing what you always wanted to do?”

You turned to look at him, a little confused by the question. No one ever asked you that before. Everyone just assumed nursing was your passion, considering the overwhelming amount of schooling you need to become one.

“Yes,” you said with a nod, “I like helping others.”

Buck grinned and turned his head to look at you. He knew all about helping others. It was one of the many reasons the two of you relate so well with each other. Slowly, his hand was creeping off to the side, getting closer and closer to yours without trying to seem obvious. You didn’t even realize until his pinky finger was brushing the back of your hand.

“Yeah, me too.” Buck’s pinky linked through your own and you could swear that your heart fluttered as he touched you. Could it be? Did Evan Buckley have a little crush on you? Did you have a crush on Evan Buckley? Was this really happening?

He was gazing into your eyes and…wait a minute, was he leaning in? Should you lean in too? Not going to lie, you wanted to. And… there goes your head, getting closer and closer to his.

But he stopped. He looked alarmed, shocked even, and turned his head to look out at the ocean. You slumped back with a slight pout, knowing it was too good to be true. It was stupid to have a little crush on Buck.

The ex-firefighter was gripping onto Christopher’s shirt tightly as he stood up, your pinkies unlocking, and you could tell instantly that something was very wrong. You stood up too and looked at Buck.

He held onto Christopher as a crowd of people were gathering behind you, watching was well. Everyone seemed to stop in their tracks and stare at the ocean.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as you followed his line of sight out to the ocean.

But the answer was right there in front of you. The water had pulled back drastically.

“Where did all the water go?” Christopher asked, looking confused.

Panic was slowly rising inside of you as you stood next to Buck. You felt his hand slip into yours, holding your fingers tightly in a grip. You clung back onto him with your other hand wrapping around his arm tightly.

A warning siren blasted through the loudspeakers in place of the fun carnival music.

A giant wave was rolling back, taking in as much water as it could possibly carry. Your panic turned into fear as you saw the wave approach the shore. A massive tsunami was about to hit and you, along with Buck and Christopher, were trapped on the pier.