#to legitimately kidnap me and violate me on camera
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psychoticwillgraham · 4 months ago
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sorry for the triggering post, i'm just. Spiraling rn
#the dreams about my abuser aren't always violent or scary#sometimes he's just in the background. watching me. like he used to everywhere we went together#like he's waiting to strike when the time is right#his presence haunts me so fucking much#sometimes i hallucinate his voice or his shadow#the trauma is eating me fucking alive rn and the fact that i got no closure whatsoever#he's still out there no doubt abusing his new shiny girl of the week#he always said that i was the only one he ever came back to#that no other woman could compare to me and that i'm irreplaceable#he held on to me bc i let him. i let him violate me every single fucking time#and i feel so goddamn fucking STUPID for realizing it far too late#i knew he was manipulating me and using my mental illness against me#making me doubt my memories and the things he did to me#i'm so afraid that he'll eventiually realize that i'm serious about cutting him off#and give my number to a friend of his to continue contact#and potentially threaten me. bc he knows where i live#he knows my mother's car and license plate and my sister's too#he knows the places i hang out at#if one day he decides to come back and take me by force#i'm absolutely fucked. literally#i live in fear of him secretly tracking me and plotting to kidnap me#bc that's what one of his fantasies was#to legitimately kidnap me and violate me on camera#and sell the video online#he wanted to make a fake snuff film#but i know him and his strength and if i fought#he'd absolutely kill me#he wanted to completely and utterly ruin me for anyone else#bc i suffered so 'prettily' and he found it funny and powerful.#so yeah. he fucking haunts me every waking moment
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sexycontainmentprocedures · 5 years ago
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Employees of US American psychiatric hospitals deserve a similar stigma to how we view police.
Sure, the individual employee might want to help people. But they have willingly, knowingly signed their service over to an industry whose facilities:
regularly detain people without their consent for committing no crimes, for at least 72 hours and typically more
allow third parties to make claims about someone which get them institutionalized, with no evidence required for a doctor to sign the involuntary committment order
regularly turn away homeless, addicted, and low-income patients who ASK FOR HELP because they are instead preoccupied with patients whose insurance companies pay $900 a day to keep them there -- they might let someone poor/uninsured in for a day or two, but once they can't pay, they're out on the street again, or worse at a rehab facility
even when a patient is insured, send us immense sums for the parts NOT covered, ruining our credit scores because we can't PAY YOU THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FOR KIDNAPPING AND ABUSING US
markedly treats trans and GNC people differently from cis people, even LGB+ cis people -- not letting us room with other patients because of our genitals or appearance/isolating us, marking gender dysphoria as a disorder not to acknowledge the effects of the disorder but rather to create more 'reasons' to detain us longer than cis people (as if it's the same as expressing suicidality or something)
barely let patients go outside -- for this one just shut the fuck up and think about what that does to a human soul, period. I am so sick of the notion that medication is everything and physical activity is nothing -- and this belief is perpetuated by the psychiatric health industry, to their benefit
literally never, never, never believe patients when we say we were harassed or abused by hospital staff, because "we have cameras you can't see" -- literally gaslighting patients because ~we're crazy~ and there's no way we could win a lawsuit with any reasonable amount of money. Literally this industry rapes people and we are supposed to see the complacent/friendly "good" employees as good people. No, the good ones are abuse apologists/enablers.
literally just exploiting suicidality and mental illness for money -- you, the employee, KNOW that your CEO is taking that money. You know you aren't getting paid for the actual work you do. And yet you are giving them your labor and willingly helping your employer commit human rights violations.
In case the connection isn't clear, police as a body of authority help us solve crimes, legitimately keep the roads safe, etc. But they also do nothing to crack down on how their field of work attracts abusers, and they do nothing as an institution to speak out against widespread racially motivated police violence, among other offenses. Thus, we generally conclude that even the good ones are responsible for the continued abuses their silence encourages.
If you work in psychiatric health I by default don't trust you because you see me as some sort of specimen. (The exception is sometimes when the professional is neurodivergent themself, but not always.) But if you work in a psychiatric hospital specifically, I straight-up think you're ethically corrupt. Go be a counselor, a family therapist, an independent licensed physician, a social worker, go do literally anything else if you want to help mentally ill people.
Listen to me, if you work in a psych hospital -- if you work somewhere that you sit around taking notes on people you have immense power over, who your superiors kidnapped for reasons you have no proof of, I genuinely do not comprehend how you go to sleep at night thinking you're "helping" society, no matter how many broken and confused patients cried on your shoulder today. You are an abuse enabler and you have put yourself in an employment situation where showing the bare minimum of human decency to people who have no power over you has convinced you that you are a good person. Legitimately fucking wake up.
When you do wake up, learn from it and try to find a similar position under safer circumstances if you want to help people. Change is good and there is no shame in it.
If anyone wants to contest this with "but who's going to save suicidal people if the majority of psych hospital employees quit?" I ask in turn "who's going to respond to car accidents if we reform police?"
The answer is THE ABUSES ARE UNACCEPTABLE REGARDLESS.
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super-zero-time-blog · 7 years ago
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Super Light Warrior Changéríon: Episodes 1-3 Review
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The year is 1996. Toei Co. Ltd., the penny pinching and merchandise driven imaginative studio that graced the world with anime adaptations of Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball and tokusatsu hero franchises like Kamen Rider and Super Sentai, have found themselves paired up with massive entertainment force Sega (yes, the Sonic the Hedgehog guys) to release a brand new superhero show on the world.  The first idea, a planned follow up to the 1995 Keita Amemiya film Mechanical Violator Hakaider (itself a reimagining of the villain from the 70′s Shotaro Ishinomori classic Android Kikaider) falls through.  A new idea suddenly comes about from Toei producet Yoshikawa Susumu and suit manufacturer Rainbow Co. Ltd: Create a hero suit made primarily out of transparent parts. With that in mind, a cast and crew are soon brought on to create one of the weirdest tokusatsu series of the 1990′s.
So here we are and here I am and it’s Changéríon (yes the accents are how it’s officially written, it’s meant to be French, I don’t know why) time. Sorry for that long build up! Just figured it��d be what all the cool kids do. Super Light Warrior Changéríon is a doozy of a series, one that has held a cult following in Japan for 20 years after its abrupt end in December of 1996. The show featured a staff of producers (such as Shinichiro Shirakura), directors (such as Takao Nagaishi)  and writers (namely head writer Toshiki Inoue) who would go on 4 years later to help revive Kamen Rider for the Heisei era, and in general went on to be remembered for its quirky and surreal nature. Even the show’s star, Takashi Hagino, would go on to be in Kamen Rider (in a very different role as infamous serial killer Takeshi Asakura, a.k.a. Kamen Rider Ouja, in 2002′s Kamen Rider Ryuki) I decided to plunge into this series finally now that English fansubs were out, and I’ve been contemplating how to go about this. For the first installment I figure I’m just going to write up my thoughts briefly on the first three episodes of this 39 episodes series, and I may then expand upon that later and switch the format around a bit at any given time, so here goes!! 
A few things to note ahead of time
1. The head writer of this series (and, to my knowledge, the writer of the first four episodes here) is Toshiki Inoue. Inoue is a man known for his love of drama, strange humor, and plots heavily focused on miscommunication. His best known shows include Chojin Sentai Jetman (1991), Kamen Rider Agito (2001), Kamen Rider 555 (2003) some mess called Kamen Rider Kiva (2008) and oh yeah he’s written for anime, included the Death Note anime in 2005. You have likely seen something he has written if you’ve touched an anime. Or maybe not, I don’t know.
2. The suits in this. They are absolutely gorgeous, but they were infamously dangerous. 
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The Changéríon suit alone had two versions, a 100 kg (~ 200 lb) version for close up shots and a 40kg (~ 80 lb) suit for action scenes. Both were terrifying to those in it. Veteran suit actor Jiro Okamoto commented on the suit being absurdly heavy and fearing he would break it, not to mention that it was so heavy that it hurt his neck. This thing supposedly nearly sent suit actors to the hospital! And yet the action is generally decent despite the struggle in these beasts of a set of suits.
3. The opening, “OVER THE TIMES ~ Beyond The Present~” by MISA. It’s just awesome. It’s really awesome. I mean listen to it. It’s super awesome. 
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Aww yeah....
SO! Now that I’ve gotten all of that out of the way, on to the reviews! The format is simple. A summary of the plot first, then my thoughts on it. I’ll see how this works and just go from there.
EPISODE 1: “A Hero!! Me?”
Air Date: April 3, 1996
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Bumbling detective Akira Suzumura is hired to investigate a series of missing student reports from a local elementary school. After a night of staking the grounds out, he soon finds himself on a new path after a freak accident and an attack by a monster from the inter-dimensional invaders known as the Darkzeid lead him to unwittingly become the warrior of light: Changéríon! But as he struggles to master his new powers and deal with the mysterious SAIDOC organization, the full threat of Darkzeid begins to awaken.
Changéríon starts out about as weird as you can expect a show like this to with a massive hoop spiralling down a flight of stairs to a narrow Tokyo tunnel and having a creepy 90′s CG entity force its soulless face out towards the camera. It only escalates by going to a dramatic sequence of Akira and his assistant Akemi seemingly armed and ready for a shootout....only for the sequence to be a harmless rescue of a local puppy. This is Inoue at his peak weirdness, something which can really be hit or miss, but it’s strangely all a bunch of baffling moments which click oddly well. Akira isn’t much of a hero in many ways: He’s clumsy, he’s a bit lecherous, selfish and lazy. He doesn’t have much cash and doesn’t even pay part-timers like Akemi well. And yet despite all of this he has his heart in the right place and it’s fun to watch him fumble around in the suit at the episode’s end. It even made me chuckle seeing him “free up” time on a completely empty schedule to help the school find their students. While some scenes do feel disjointed and a bit uncomfortable (including a very uncomfortable joke about pedophilia which struck me as more than a little uncalled for in a show aimed at children), everything is really bonkers and pretty exciting here! It all ends with the main villains being awakened and a budding rivalry between Akira and the former, intended Changéríon candidate, Hayami, as the good folks at SAIDOC quietly wonder “What on earth have we gotten ourselves into with this nut?” 
It’s also worth mentioning that this show is a definite turning point for Toei’s production, having been one of their first shows recorded on digital video rather than film, and it’s chock full of now dated CGI and strange, minimalist dark rooms for otherworldy realms. It’s kinda creepy and very uncanny, but I’d say it oddly works in the show’s favor at this point. It’s got an unintentional charm to it. There’s a borderline David Lynch feel to the Darkzeid realm bits, in all honesty. Considering how big of a hit Twin Peaks was during the mid 90′s in Japan, it wouldn’t surprise me if the set designers took at least a smidge of inspiration from the Black Lodge sequences during seasons 1 and 2 of the series. It’s not as traumatic as something you’d see Lynch do, but there’s a similarly sinister atmosphere to it all here with countless bodies wrapped in plastic...like...bags, much like Laura Palmer was.
 The combat itself is a bit strangely edited too. Lots of sped up footage and Changéríon seldom kicks (more often getting kicked around instead), which I will assume is due to that hulking suit. But it also gives us one of the most ridiculou(sly satisfying) attacks ever with the Shining Attack. Which...uh...well...
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....okay it’s pretty rad, I won’t lie. That’s pretty great. It is. It’ll get used to death in future episodes, but it’s still cool here.
First impression is a good one. It’s like this episode sets the tone for what is to come quite well.
Episode 2: “Twinkle Twinkle, Little Brain”
Air Date: April 10, 1996
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The three generals of Darkzeid awaken and enter the human world, with plans to consume humans to satisfy their ravenous appetites. Meanwhile, SAIDOC Chief Munakata explains to Akira about the threat of Darkzeid and their need for his help, only for him to swiftly turn them down and celebrate his newfound superpowers with an unlimited shopping spree. But in the process he not only angers operatives Hayami and Eri, but finds himself in yet another Darkzeid plot as Akemi and Eri are kidnapped by an otherworld monster using posessed shoes. It’s up to Changéríon to save the missing women before they end up on Darkzeid’s lunch menu!
It’s here that we see Inoue throw in another one of his big tropes with character writing: The reluctant hero. This isn’t the first time he’d written that character archetype (another great example of this is Gai Yuki/Black Condor in Jetman) but it’s something he loves to write quite often. In this case, Akira decides to just go hog wild with loans he can’t afford, and it’s actually pretty funny. Buying out restaurants for the day, loading up on shoes for Akemi, and just being a total snot and a cocky jerk until he’s forced to realize that he put his own employee in danger and team up with Hayami....after a bizarre sequence of both of them sneaking into the same Darkzeid shoe store. In drag. And not recognizing each other. In drag. Before fighting it out in front of onlookers. In drag. This is after a scene with the store owner, the monster of the week (with a literal face full of shoes in his monster form, no less) attempts to feed his kidnapped victims with mysterious goop in high heel shoes. There’s no shortage of surreal visuals here and it does get disjointed at points, yet I feel like the story comes to a more coherent point from here. 
Despite the goofier antics, there’s still that underlying sinister aura to the Darkzeid generals. Their designs are legitimately creepy and their hushed meetings in dimly lit rooms, murmuring about their need to consume humans and how darkness will consume their own world could easily give a kid nightmares. Even I was amazed at how well the monster suits were pulled off in this show. The villains look like villains, and they’re fittingly mysterious.
In terms of action, Changéríon gets his aptly named Gun Laser, a really nifty weapon with a gimmick I love! Y’see, it runs on disks that he summons from his chest. And the discs spin. Go figure that Sega would manufacture all these toys with a disc gimmick. Not only was it the peak of the CD boom, it also made me chuckle thinking about how they had moved into CDs with the Sega Saturn at around the same time. (Plus the Gun Laser just looks really dang cool!)
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 We’re getting places now that the initial stage has been set! Slowly but surely, we’re getting places! 
Episode 3: “A Bunch of Brides”
Air Date: April 17, 1996
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Brides are mysterious disappearing at the altar! Darkzeid is behind this! Akira plans to counter these objections to holy matrimony with the help of Hayami and Akemi...but time and again things keep going south! Can he save the day and stop these foul occurrences? Meanwhile, in a basement lab, Chief Munakata struggles to develop the sidekicks Akira needs in his battle...
If you haven’t figured out that this series is meant to be goofy at this point, I don’t know what to tell you. This is a pretty fluffy and light episode with some good gags strewn throughout. Perhaps the funniest is Akira’s futile attempt at teaching Hayami how to flirt with women. It’s done with the most 90′s montage imaginable and it killed me with how good it was. The follow up is the sequence in the above shot, which I won’t spoil the full context for, but it also got a laugh out of me. There’s slapstick, there’s snark, there’s a simple but weird vibe to this whole episode and it’s totally fine. We’ve gotten into the groove of the show at this point it feels like, and I look forward to where it goes from here. The most interesting element plotwise is seeing Munakata’s struggle to get a set of mysterious robots up and working for Akira to use. It’s made clear that he and his research are mocked by his superiors, who don’t even think that Darkzeid is real, let alone a threat. Poor guy needs more respect! But we’ll see where things go with these machines in the next episode.
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With 36 episodes left to go, Super Light Warrior Changéríon is certainly an odd, yet familiar show to me. I can see the early elements of Heisei Kamen Rider at play here with how it’s shot, the eerier villain designs, the quick cuts and kinetic feel to the action and the quirky humor and characters. It’s like seeing a mix of Metal Hero aesthetics with Super Sentai pacing making something of a hybrid that will have a lingering impact. Next time I’ll cover episodes 4-7, or perhaps change up the pace a bit. Expect some cool new robot buddies next time, but other than that I’m as in the dark as everyone else!
Hopefully my rambling didn’t scare you away by now, and we’ll be ready for more adventures to come, soon!
And remember! SOMEBODY LOVES you. And SOMEBODY NEEDS you. 
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