#sometimes he asks himself why tf did i marry him and then remembered oh yeah i choose him smh

[aliorsboxostuff]

yet another tik tok bcuz thats the only content i got for y'all, this one's called "another maverick accident"

based off of this fic, check it out! it's really sweet <3

[peach-pops]

Roommate HC

Request:  hi i love ur account! do u think u could write a HC with kuroo, oikawa, and bokuto on how they would be as roommates! thank you!

Author’s Note: This request had me dying thank u so much! I made this to be platonic but if u guys want a part 2 to make them like each other/you want to see other roommate hc with other characters, let me know!

Warning: mentions of sex, adult language, reader thirsting over iwaizumi cause same 

Pairing: Kuroo || Oikawa || Bokuto 

Part two

-Kuroo-

You can only be roommates if you’re hella close with Kuroo because if you’re living in a closed space together, shit is bound to happen. He’s basically you’re best friend so nothing is off-limits. 

Exhibit A: Shower rants

“ And I told her to mind her own damn business before I kicked her ass!” You said loudly as you sat on the counter of the sink while Kuroo was showering

“ You liar I know you didn’t say all that. Also, can you hand me my toothbrush?”

“ Mm, okay, I didn’t say it but I was thinking it!” You grabbed Kuroo’s toothbrush and opened the curtain to hand it to him,” it’s the thought that counts but then she told me that I was being a bitch! In front of the whole class!” 

Kuroo opened the shower curtain to poke his head out,” She called you a bitch in front of the class? What a fucking bitch.” 

I feel like Kuroo sleeps in a bit and waits until the last second to wake up so you’re basically his alarm clock 

Your favorite way to wake him up is to just bash his head with a pillow until he grabs it from you and hits you back with it ten times harder

“ I think you gave me a concussion.”

“ I- It’s a pillow, you big baby.” 

Getting ready in the morning is always pretty chill since Kuroo practically rolls out of the bed, looks at his hair, and decides yep, this is stylish 

If he has extra time in the morning, he’ll sit on your bed and watch you do your makeup/hair as you tell him your schedule for the day just cause he can 

Can we please remember that Kuroo is a big nerd so that means a lot of all-nighters at the dinner table. If you know he has a big test coming up, you order takeout from his favorite restaurant and you have to physically sit across from him so he actually takes a break to eat dinner

Sometimes he falls asleep at the table while studying so you always grab his phone to set a 15-minute alarm because while he needs to sleep, he also needs the time to study too 

On chill days, Kenma usually comes over and the two play video games until the middle of the night. While they’re always super loud, that’s a lie it’s just Kuroo, but whenever they get too loud you come out of your room and you just glare Kuroo down 

“ What’s wrong with your face?”

“ My face? This face will be the last thing you ever see if you don’t shut the fuck up. Kenma sweetie, ✨you’re doing great✨!”

OH okay this is just a bonus

so your upstairs neighbors are like bunnies if ya know what I mean. Like they go at it 25/8 and you and Kuroo can’t stand it because how are yall supposed to concentrate 

One night while you and Kuroo are watching a movie, you can literally hear your neighbors having crazy-ass sex and Kuroo gets so petty. He grabs a broom from the kitchen and starts hitting it against the ceiling like

 ‘ Shut! The! Hell! Up!” 

“ STOP! What if they get mad?” 

“ Who cares? I haven’t had sex in months. If I can’t get laid than no one can get laid!”

“ I don’t even want to think about you and *gags* sex in the same sentence.” 

So all in all, Kuroo is probably the easiest roommate to have and you two just work so well together

-Oikawa-

Oikawa isn’t as bad as a roommate as people might think. He’s surprisingly clean and not only does he clean up after himself but he always cleans up after you. He will sass you on how messy you are though

“ Y/N-Chan, I can’t even see the floor to your bedroom, you’re disgusting! I can’t even look at you the same way!” 

“ If it’s bothering you then get the hell out of my room!” 

“ Your room is a biohazard, how can you live like this?” 

“ I SAID GET OUT SHITTYKAWA!” 

There’s only one bathroom in your apartment so it’s always a battle to get ready in the morning. His side of the sink has way more stuff than you and you even try out some of his products if they happen to find their way to your side

You can’t even hide it from Oikawa because once you leave the restroom, he notices right away 

“ Are you wearing that SPF moisturizer I bought from that new skincare store the other day?”

“ Wha- how did you know?”

“ I can smell it you rat, stop using my skincare products!” 

He says that but the next day when you wake up to use the restroom, you see that he bought you your own moisturizer and there’s a sticky note on it ‘ because you desperately need some’ 

Oikawa also always manages to lose his glasses in the morning so when he’s late, he always wakes you up to help him find his glasses which are somewhere around the apartment 

“ Bitch, how hard is it to keep it next to your nightstand before you go to bed?” 

“ I forget” 🥺👉🏼👈🏼Oikawa pouts as he squints back at you cause he’s a blind bitch 

If Oikawa is your roommate, that definitely means Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki are always over. One time in the middle of the night, you went to go get a glass of water and you screamed so loud when you saw a dark figure sleeping on your couch 

Your heart literally dropped to the floor but when you squinted your eyes, you could make out that it was Hanamaki just crashing on your couch 

Thank god, you actually thought there was a stranger-

What you didn’t know was that Matsukawa was sleeping on the floor of the living room and you tripped over his huge, built ass body 

“ Y/N? Is that you? Are you okay?”

“ I’m fine-”

“ Ow! Y/N, that’s my hand!”

“ Shit! Sorry- wait, Hajime? Is that you? What the hell-Who else is sleeping here?”

“ Meeeee!”

“Toru?!?! What are you doing out here?” You asked as you turned on the lights to find all four boys camped out in the living room. TF is this? Summercamp???

“ Duh, it’s a sleepover! Wanna join? You can lay next to me Y/N-Chan!”

“ Fuck no you weirdo. Except for you Hajime😚 my room is always open for you!” 🤩🥰🤪🤰🏻 

Oh speaking of frick fracking, you and Oikawa have a solid rule that if you’re planning on having sex, please let the other roommate know so there’s not a repeat of that one incident you’re not allowed to speak of 

Toru: Can you be out of the house from 8:30-9:30? I’m bringing someone over👉🏼👌🏼

Y/N: You bastard I was going to bring someone over!

Toru: Oh yeah? Who u trying to fuck?👀👀👀

Y/N: Hajime 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Toru: STOP THIRSTING AFTER MY FRIENDS

Y/N: BUT IT’S TRUE LOVE!

Besides all of that mess, Oikawa is such a fun roommate. If yall could live together forever, you definitely would because the banter never stops between the two of you, yall are like an old married couple uwu 

-Bokuto- 

JESUS you two take a while to mesh 

You two are best friends so when he suggested to move in together, you were all for it 

But it just took some getting used to 

Bokuto wakes up sooooo early to go run and this means blasting music in the shower at 5am & him blending the shit out a smoothie in the kitchen 

One time, this dude barged into your room around 5:20 in the morning and had THE AUDACITY to ask if you wanted to go run with him 

“ I feel bad leaving you here in the apartment alone, what if you miss me?”

“ If you ever wake me up this early to go run out of all things, I will shave your head do not test me owl.” 

He never asks you again don’t worry but he does walk in your room to whisper, rather loudly, that he’s leaving to go run just to give you a heads up

On some mornings when he knows you’re going to have a long day at school, he’ll make you breakfast and it’s actually super sweet cause you two will eat together in the kitchen and talk about what the plan for the day is 

If he’s ever too lazy to make breakfast, he’ll grab your favorite pastries during his run and bring it home cause he’s just that type of person 

Bokuto is a bit messy and you find yourself cleaning up after him a lot but he makes up for it by being an absolute sweetheart 

He assembled all the furniture in the apartment because he likes building stuff and he claims it’s manly. Don’t Mind my language but ✨U couldn’t give a shit ✨about building furniture so you were 100% okay with it

Akaashi came over to help put the couch together and that was arguably the most entertaining thing you had ever seen

“ Bokuto-San, I’m pretty sure these pieces don’t fit.”

“ Akaashi! Are you doubting my ability to read and follow instructions?!?!”

“ I think he’s right, those don’t fit at all.”

*cue emo bokuto ughhhhhhh this bitch*

Whenever Bokuto gets emo at home, you drop everything to help him get out of his funk. Not because what you’re doing isn’t important but if you don’t help, this dude will show up next to your bed full on close to crying

“ Ko, it’s two in the morning, why are you awake?”

“ Are you angry at me that I broke that plate earlier?”

“ Wha- no I’m not mad over a cheap plate. Just go to bed PLEASE!” 

No matter how busy yalls schedule gets, you two always make time to have a movie night at least once a week because he claims it’s good for roommate moral 

It’s just an excuse for him to snack through the pantry but whatever

He’s also the worst at grocery shopping. Like he notices all the snacks and desserts you like so he’ll buy so much of those things but will fail to get actual protein and vegetables 

I know it seems like I’m shitting on Bokuto and I’m not, I feel like Bokuto would also be such a fun roommate. There are some nights where you two will dance around together in your pajamas and camp out on the couch together and those are the moments where you’re thankful he’s your roommate

But he snores so loud I’M SORRY I HAD TO SAY IT 

[midshipmank]

i wanted LWJ with a motorcycle & somehow ended up with this librarian!LWJ & art student!WWX au

LWJ is a librarian at a public library 

WWX met LWJ when he returned some books 3 months late

LWJ looked at him all judgy like “these are 3 months late,” & WWX promptly became obsessed 

WWX is now a much more responsible library user, mostly because he’s there all the time

but listen he’s not great at focusing in the library, that’s why he doesn’t even use the one on campus. so now he’s his usual amount of restless + distracted by LWJ

trying to figure out how to make a move 

meanwhile LWJ is just like “do not throw crumpled pieces of paper through the air”

some of those crumpled pieces of paper are failed sketches of LWJ

one day WWX stays all the way to closing because LWJ PRETTY OKAY? also he has an art theory paper due pls don’t talk to him about it

so anyway he’s there when the library is closing & LWJ is like “leave”

so he goes :((( but he’s so late LWJ practically follows him out 

which 

is when WWX discovers that that pretty white & blue motorcycle that’s always parked out front?

that’s Lan Wangji’s 

he absolutely loses his mind

all of his friends know about his ridiculous librarian crush by now & they all make fun of him for it

but anyway, the poor boy has it bad

he’s like “A-Cheng, you don’t understand, he could step on me & i’d thank him. actually i think i need him to step on me.” 

JC is like “i did Not want to know that”

meanwhile WWX is bemoaning the fact that he ever became a responsible library user

“how am i supposed to interact with him. i can’t return books late anymore bc i’m always there! what would my excuse be? & he’s already explained how to use their database to me 3 times, i can’t keep looking this dumb” 

JYL is very gently like “maybe just ask him out?” 

“but he doesn’t like me! i committed library crimes! i have to get him to like me first!”

then WWX sees a flyer in the lobby asking for volunteers. there’s gonna be an event in the kids section! for some special reading day! who tf knows, WWX doesn’t care, the point is, he’s good with kids. that would probably be appealing to LWJ. right? right? WWX really doesn’t know. LWJ is so hard to read. on the one hand, he’s the most tight-laced & responsible person WWX has ever met. on the other, he has a very sexy motorcycle. WWX doesn’t know what to do with that

but okay he has a plan

he calls up WQ & goes “can i borrow A-Yuan”

he already babysits A-Yuan every week, so it’s not that weird right?

WQ is like “i stg WWX if you are going to use A-Yuan to attract hot guys like in that movie with the people who love dogs....”

& WWX is like “i would never use A-Yuan like a dog! WQ do you even know me!” 

he gets A-Yuan, barely

anyway, he gets to the library ready to read to a bunch of kids & gets side-eyed by a lot of parents, but he still has fun!!

LWJ is, unfortunately, not the librarian supervising the event, but he is reshelving when WWX is off reading duty & A-Yuan gets the zoomies

ie, zooms right into LWJ’s legs

LWJ is, surprisingly, good with kids. WWX may need to marry him. he somehow manages not to make a complete fool of himself after this revelation

in fact, after this interaction, WWX thinks he may actually have scored some points with LWJ. he’s elated

he’s building all these elaborate future schemes in his head when suddenly he gets a call from Auntie Yu

she wants to know why his grade in his art theory class has plummeted. 

oh right. that class. that class that’s taught by that professor who hates him & that he honestly can’t understand a word of & honestly he hates art theory, he’s good at art, why does he have to take theory too? 

Auntie Yu lets him know in no uncertain terms that if he doesn’t improve his grades by the end of the semester, she will stop supporting him—it’s bad enough that they let him go to art school after he flunked out of his business degree anyway 

so—fuck. fuck. 

WWX throws himself into the redo paper he manages to beg off LQR. he has 3 days & he’s gonna make them count 

the first day goes well, if by well you mean that he raids the art section of the library & works himself until closing & tries desperately not to look like he’s dying in front of LWJ

day 2 goes........similarly, except he falls asleep at his desk & doesn’t wake up until LWJ tells him the library is closing, which? wtf? LWJ usually wakes him up when he falls asleep in the library. WWX has been asleep for hours. 

& also he looks like a wreck, which is not cute

he flees from the library only to find that the bus is going..... going......... gone

fuck. he doesn’t have a car. 

he’s staring down the road after the bus, trying to figure out which friend with a car is available for him to call when he hears someone say “Wei Ying?” behind him

it’s Lan Zhan.

how mortifying. 

he tries to laugh off his situation, but LWJ gets this set expression on his face & says, “i will give you a ride home” 

& WWX is like kinda definitely freaking out because this was not how his first ride on LWJ’s sexy motorcycle was supposed to go. WWX had a plan. he was supposed to be flirtatious & ask LWJ about his bike & then LWJ would offer to give WWX a ride & they’d go all around the scenic parts of the city & when they stopped WWX would be all flustered & breathless & he’d wobble getting off the bike & maybe fall into LWJ & maybe—

okay so his plan was more like a daydream, but at the very least, he wasn’t supposed to look like he’d spent the last 48hrs out of the sun, drinking unhealthy amounts of shitty coffee, wearing a ratty hoodie & art-grimed jeans. like, they’re not even grimey in a cute way

but LWJ is insistent & WWX is weak, so somehow he ends up on the back of the bike wearing LWJ’s helmet with LWJ telling him to hold on tight

he’s half-convinced he’s fallen asleep on the bus stop bench & is dreaming the whole thing

but soon enough, it’s over & they’re stopped outside of WWX’s shitty student accommodations

he gets off & is trying to awkwardly thank LWJ when LWJ says, “you’ve seemed upset these past 2 days”

“ahaha, yeah, i’m just writing a paper”

“for an art theory class?”

WWX is like ????? but then he remembers that LWJ knows what books he checks out 

“yeah. it’s a redo actually. professor Lan hates me.” he forces a laugh. why did he say that. being hated by a professor is not cute, especially not to sexy librarian LWJ. 

“my uncle has high expectations,” LWJ says. 

WWX brain short circuits. 

“your uncle???” shit shit shit Lan Qiren is LWJ’s uncle! LWJ’s uncle hates him! he has no chance now! 

“mn.” 

WWX wants to die

LWJ looks considering, then says, “it is my day off tomorrow. if you would like, i can help you with the paper.”

WWX is already the least cute, most pathetic version of himself he’s ever been in his life. he says yes. 

so they meet up at the library the next day & WWX apologizes profusely for making LWJ come into work when it’s his day off. he promises LWJ endless free coffee from the coffeeshop he works at (even if he has to pay for it himself—he doesn’t tell LWJ that part). 

LWJ is way too nice to him & also manages to explain this school of art theory in a way that?? sort of?? makes sense?? though not in a way that makes WWX like it. but LWJ seems neutral about it, so at least he’s not trying to get WWX to agree with it. 

but anyway, WWX manages to pull a passable paper together & in the process LWJ reveals that he’s noticed WWX sketching in the library a lot more than WWX realized, and that he likes WWX’s art. 

WWX is lightheaded

he stares at LWJ for a while & LWJ looks at him & says, “Wei Ying. you should be typing.” 

WWX gets the paper done by 5pm somehow. somehow! he sends it off to LQR with a groan of relief. he’s so tired his bones are aching, but he looks over at LWJ, art theory & citation king, who of course always looks perfect & beautiful, & goes, “i could kiss you.” 

instead of “i don’t know how i’m ever going to thank you for this,” which is what he thought he was gonna say

LWJ’s eyes widen slightly & his ears go red. WWX wants to smack himself in the face. he wants to eat his words. he wants to crawl into a cramped dark place like a disgusting little mole & never see the sun again.

then LWJ says, “have dinner with me first.” 

WWX gapes at him. LWJ looks back, ears still red but eyes steady. 

“okay,” WWX squeaks. 

they go to dinner. WWX still feels like trash, but they end up having a rousing discussion about art & WWX learns all about when LWJ studied art history in undergrad & how he actually doesn’t like the kind of theory his uncle teaches (“but you’re too good to ever tell him that,” WWX teases. “....most of the time.” WWX laughs in delight.) 

LWJ reveals that he brought an extra helmet today, in case WWX needed a ride again. WWX is embarrassed & pleased & wants to marry LWJ again. feeling foolish, he leans into LWJ flirtatiously & suggests they go for a ride—just for the view. LWJ looks at him so long his knees turn to jelly. then LWJ says, “mn.” 

they make out on some scenic ridge somewhere

the end! 

other things about this au:

WWX does digital painting mostly, his ideal job is illustration/comics; he has a instagram/patreon he uses for art commissions (some of which are pornographic—LWJ catches him sketching in the library one day, early in this tableau. it does not go well.) 

his instagram/patreon is mostly anonymous. it’s not that he minds people knowing he draws explicit stuff sometimes, it’s that he doesn’t want Auntie Yu to find out 

he draws LWJ a lot

not explicitly

(at least not until he’s got a life model and LWJ’s consent)

he’s not at the library 24/7. he has a coffeeshop job, classes, studio time for non-digital art, A-Yuan, and friends. but he’s at the library a lot.

this is undergrad for WWX, but he’s non-trad. he flunked out of a soul-sucking business degree in his first go at undergrad & was on pretty shaky ground with the Jiang family for a while. then he sold some of his art & Auntie Yu said they would support him through art school if it was the only thing he was good at. kinda stung, but at least he doesn’t have to pay tuition.

he’s desperate to prove he can make it as an artist

when anyone asks LWJ about his bike, he says he got it because it allows him to weave around traffic. yes, there’s more to it than that, but no he won’t go into it. (this entire au formed because i found out WYB rides motorcycles professionally & went, “wow that’s hot.” we have no thoughts here.) 

WWX did not have to try to make LWJ like him. LWJ liked him. & while WWX might not have gotten his ideal first bike ride, you better believe LWJ got his. he daydreams about scooping WWX onto his bike & riding off into the sunset

[scenarios-on-ice]

WHy dO yOu HaVE tO sAY GOodByE

(well I guess he’s not referred to as a ghoul but he might as well be one now, considering that he’s framed out and can’t eat human food anymore…what’s the difference, really?

Saiko saved him from Donato but we’re still not sure how they’re going to work through it

I mean, nobody at the CCG is really going to appreciate this new development if they find out)

Peggy was actually pretty awesome…it’s still unknown if it’s true but there’s a story that a group of Tories and Native Americans once forced their way into the Schuyler mansion in Albany looking for Philip Schuyler (they were intending to capture him as a prisoner of war). Guests and family members, including Angelica and Eliza (who were both pregnant at the time) rushed upstairs to hide from the intruders, but then realize that they’d left the youngest Schuyler sister (Catharine, who wasn’t even a year old) downstairs. Peggy ran down to get her but was threatened by one of the raiders who demanded to know where her father was. Keeping a cool head, Peggy lied and said that he’d gone to get help and alarm the town, and this frightened the raiders enough that they decided to back off- but not before one of them threw a tomahawk at Peggy, who was running upstairs with the baby in her arms. She somehow managed to dodge it and the tomahawk left a dent in the banister (apparently the Schuylers kept it as a memento).

The way people view Erwin is also very similar to how people saw Hamilton- those who liked them liked them very well, but their behavior and choices also led to them gaining several enemies (Hamilton with his refusal to hold back or shut up, and Erwin with his manipulative, ruthless behavior that went against everything the government of the AoT world stood for). I also think the awe in Burr’s voice as he asks ‘How do you write like you’re running out of time? Are you running out of time?’ could apply to anyone watching Erwin becaus he really was non-stop in his own right.

(I could imagine Levi internally asking those questions about Erwin for the first few months after they met)

I like the idea of Jean-Eren Burr-Hamilton as an AU, because in different circumstances, I do think Jean and Eren’s relationship could have developed in a wrong, nasty way…

It’s either write or fight my way out in the AoT universe (for most of them, it’s fight- the only people who’d ‘write’ seem to be Erwin, Hange and Armin…possibly Bertolt, but he’s a warrior and still fights when push comes to shove)

For Schuyler Sisters, Mikasa is the best Angelica. For Satisfied and the cameo in Burn (‘you’ve married an Icarus…’) it’s Annie. And for Congratulations and her part in the Reynolds Pamphlet, it’s Ymir (I shiver at the thought of Ymir singing Congratulations. She’d roast Eren so badly).

I do think Ymir would technically make the best Angelica but Annie shares Angelica's more thoughtful streak; Ymir would probably be way more blunt during their first meeting but I can see Annie being cautious at first (‘I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, you forget yourself…’). Annie also strikes me as the type to get more emotional about whoever’s playing Eliza- ‘I love my sister more than anything in this life/I will choose her happiness over mine every time’ is Annie; ‘You could never be satisfied, god, I hope you’re satisfied’ is Ymir, in my opinion.

Ymir-Alex and Historia-Eliza sounds so awesome and fitting until you remember Say No To This.

btw, while we’re at it, why not make a TG Hamilton AU too? I’m not too sure yet but I do know I want Amon to play a major role (Amon-Hamilton and Shironeki-Burr, maybe?). And Yamori is James Reynolds.

(If it was a genderbend I could see Haise as Eliza and Arima as Angelica)

Aww, thank you! I have rhinitis so my voice usually sounds kinda nasal (even more so when I attempt high notes) but it sounds nice enough with quieter songs like Dear Theodosia

Conspiracy theory confirmed. Your shuffle is the lovechild of Furuta, Zeke and Moriarty (you’re welcome for the mental image that must have given you)

WE SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR FEELINGS QUEEN LUNA

(Also *inhales* this is so creepy…but your voice is really cute

Like, I’m jealous

And last note, sorry, but my presence here may be spotty for the next three weeks or so. I’m studying for an exam and you know that one song by Breaking Benjamin? DEAR AGOOOONNYYY)

IF I SAY GOODBYE, THE FANDOM LEARNS TO MOVE ON. IT OUTLIVES ME WHEN I’M GONE.

((This sounds like a huge setup for me saying ‘I’m abandoning the blog lol’ (suspicious squinting)))

Also, this is I have from you, messages wise ^^

Oh shit, that sounds bad o.o TELL ME MOAR, PLEASE. I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY PRECIOUS COOKIE

Oh wow, that’s pretty awesome! Peggy is a queen! Confirmed! However, how do you ‘forget’ a child?? Like, ‘oh look, the raiders are here! Better abandon this 1yo kid!’. I mean, I get that the panic is a factor in it, but still…  It’s a shame Peggy doesn’t have a big part in the musical ;-; She definitely deserves it. 

Erwin is definitely the best Hamilton in the whole AoT universe. He fits the personality of Hamilton perfectly, except for Write my way out. He would maybe do that, though, but only as a last resort. He’s more of the ‘I’ll manipulate my way out’ *maniacal laughter’ guy… Erwin would write 85 essays by himself if it meant reaching his goals and there’s no denying it. 

I’m so glad that Eren and Jean’s relationship developed the way it did. If their personalities were a bit different, I’d even ship them, because I’m a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope. 

You know what line fits Bert? And when push comes to shove, I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love. Because he acts all nice and then he’s like ‘whoopsy daisy, Im actually a bad guy fuck you all.’

Yeah, the different characters fit different songs. Man, Id pay to hear Ymir burn (huehue) Eren really badly. We’d be having Roasted Eren for dinner then. 

so, basically, Annie and Ymir’s lovechild make the best Angelica. Okay, that seems to make sense, since those two really are good Angelicas, yet lacking in some areas. 

OOOH YMIR-HISTORIA HAMILTON BEST HAMILTON.  What is that song? I don’t remember hearing it…

Dude, I’ve forgotten so much of TG I sat in front of my screen wondering ‘who tf is Shironeki’ for a while, until I realized it was ‘Shiro Kaneki’… I give up on life. 

AND YEEE HAISE ARIMA SCHUYLER SISTERS! Ft. Hide as Peggy.

Oh, we’re the opposites, then! I am much better with high pitch songs, which is why I usually stick to singing songs that involve the Schuyler sisters.

Yes, it is. I am beginning to doubt the existence of coincidence, y’know. It is downright evil. Seriously, sometimes, when I want to tell a story about my shuffle, I stop because it sounds like a lie.

*screech* thank yuu! My voice sounds quite quite childish, especially considering how old I am. But I’m glad you liked it ^^

Nope, I don’t know that song.

Also, you’ve seen how much I’ve been here, so yeee…

[ppandfm]

Parties, Formal Meetings and Pinetrees   Chapter: 4

Description:  Two gay men, a protective grunkle, and a bottle of whiskey all appear in this chapter.

After Dipper called out to whoever was at his room door it opened revealing a certain great-uncle of theirs. Ford standing there nerdy and proud with a grin on his face as he put his suitcases down by the room doorway. Dipper about forgot that their great-uncle was going to be staying for a few days to visit. Mabel about tackled him though with one of her bear hugs.

   “Great-Uncle Ford!!” Mabel practically cried out when she tackle hugged him. “Oh my gosh it’s so good to see you!”

   Ford laughed as he hugged his niece, “It’s great to see you as well, Mabel! How did that sweater you were telling me about turn out?”

   “It looked amazing, Great Uncle Ford. I wish I could’ve shown it to you in person, but I gave it to my friend Pacifica.”

   “You mean your crush, Mabes. Hey, Great Uncle Ford, how have you been?” Dipper said as he stood up to shake his relative’s hand. Ford took the hand and pulled him into a hug. His great uncle pulled away to look at his nephew and niece.

   “I’ve been doing fine. Stan just got over a cold, though, so he wasn’t able to come. Now, what’s this about a crush, Mabel? I thought you were dating that Mermando guy.”

   Mabel rolled her eyes, “First off, we went on one date. Second, it turned out he’s supposed to marry some duchess in Europe, so we decided to just be friends. Finally, Pacifica is a good friend of mine and she’s really pretty and I feel really warm inside when I think about her and I’m kinda sorta not really totally in love with her.”

   Dipper and Ford chuckled together at the girl’s lovesick look. Mabel shook her head and grabbed her great uncle’s bags, “Anyway, I’m gonna put these in your room so you can talk to Dipper. He needs some advice about coming out. You’ll thank me for this later, bye!”

   Dipper cursed his sister under his breath and sat down on the bed. He felt a dip next to him and a six-fingered hand on his back. The room was silent for a few minutes before Ford spoke, “So you are queer. I guess I owe Stan ten dollars. But, what’s this about coming out? I thought your parents weren’t really okay with all this queer business.”

   “It’s just a joke Mabel made. Also, I can’t believe you and Stan bet on my own gayness behind my back. I’m not really gay. I still like girls. I mean, all that business with Wendy wouldn’t really make sense if I were gay, would it? So, no, not gay. But, maybe I’m a little bisexual. I don’t know.”

    Ford rubbed for a moment, then asked a question, “Why is she bringing all this up now? It doesn’t really make sense unless you’ve just now met someone.”

   “Well…” Dipper trailed off. Ford cocked an eyebrow at his nephew, “Have you met someone, Dipper?”

   Dipper blushed slightly and cleared his throat, “Well, yeah, kinda. But, not in that way.”

   Ford chuckled and looked at his hands, “I said the same thing once. Then he asked me on a date. I still remember how heartbroken he looked when I rejected him. By the time I’d figured it out, he was already married and had a son. Point is, you ought to kiss your new man now.”

   Dipper’s blush worsened just as his phone buzzed. Ford snatched it up before his nephew could get to it and looked at the screen, “Based on this text, this fellow you’ve met is a decent man. Tell me when you’re thinking about asking him on a date so Mabel and I can properly prepare ourselves to give him the talk.”

   “Great Uncle Ford, I’m not like that,” Dipper said before taking his phone back and reading the text.

   Ash: Hey, hope you’re having a good night.

   “Wendy is Ash in my phone. It’s a movie reference.”

   “Whatever you say sir dippington.” Mabel quipped as she wriggled her eyebrows earning a glare from Dipper. “Okay okay but what about Bill? Wait, is that his name?”

    Dipper shifted in his spot.

   “Mabel- he’s just a friend-” Mabel chimed in. “A boyfriend.”

   “Mabel oh my god” Dipper about facepalmed when Ford quirked an eyebrow.

   “Okay- okay jesus. So I only met him a few nights ago and he gave me his number. We’ve been texting. I was only trying to figure out- figure out-” Dipper trailed off. Specifically he didn’t want them to know the other just snuck into his room because of a party he called the cops on. Not a good idea.

   “Figure out what?” Dipper was taken out of his trailing thoughts. “Trying to just y’know get to know him.”

   “That’s not what I was seeing before Dipper” Mabel grinned.

   “Mabel, I’m not going to date him because I’m not a queer. You might be and Ford might be ace, but that doesn’t mean I’m gay too.”

   “But I am not just asexual,” Ford chimed in. Dipper rolled his eyes as Mabel stood up and said dramatically, “You’re not?

   “No, my dearest niece. I am biromantic!!” Their overdramatic uncle shouted. Mabel fake fainted. Dipper face palmed at the horrible things happening in his room. When his uncle and sister began laughing their asses off, he got up and pushed them towards the door. The two continued laughing as they left the bedroom. Dipper huffed and sat down to do homework because that’s a thing he’s been trying to do for like an hour now.

   Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location, a certain triangle turned human was chugging diet coke and popping mentos into his mouth at the same time to impress a random guy he thought was cute. Weirdly enough, this guy looked almost exactly like a certain plant man he knew.

   “Bill, you’re fucking stupid. This is going to end in disaster,” Pyronica said. Bill flipped her off as foam began rushing out of his mouth in a disgusting way. The guy he was trying to impress gave him a look and moved away. Pyronica laughed at her friend as he almost choked on all the foam, “He’s gone, man. I guess you’ll just have to make a stupid mistake and call that kid you met the other day.”

   As soon as Bill caught his breath, he shot a glare at her, “Are you kidding me? I’m not nearly drunk enough for that. Hand me a vodka, then I might call him.”

   Without a word, Pacifire handed him the requested drink. The triangle guy pulled out his phone and began pouring the drink down his throat.  

   Bill: Dippppppppahhhhhhhh

   Dipper: Wtf

              What do you want?

    Bill: To tallllkkkbdhhch

    Dipper: Tf is wrong with you?

                Why are you typing all weird?

     Bill: Vvodka

    Dipper: I can’t believe you. Go get sober, then talk to me.

    Bill: N o

         Oooooo

        Oooooooo

   He looked around himself and realized all his friends were gone. He was surrounded by strangers, with a few of them looking like they wanted to kick someone’s ass. Bill quickly decided he didn’t want to be that someone. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and got the fuck out of there. Once in the cool evening air, he started texting Pinetree again.

     Bill: Hahhhhhhhhh

          Cant socialize

         I donvt wanna get sobbah

     Dipper: Please? For me?

     Bill: Ppppinnnneeevvtrreeee

     Dipper: Wtf is even up with that nickname?

    Bill looked up, noticing a lack of natural light. The sun had gone down and the streets were dark, save for the few working streetlights. He quickly decided that since it was too far to walk to his own home, he’d go crash at Dipper’s again. He turned on the street leading to the Richie part of town and picked up his pace.

    Bill: Because your fvannel smells like pinetrees

    Dipper: That’s where my fucking flannel went.

               You jackass

     Bill: You didn’t objeext

     Dipper: Fuck u

               I was busy trying to get you out of my room for half the night.

     The man laughed out loud. He took a gulp of whiskey, loving the burn in his throat.

     Bill: Hhshshshhshshhs

          Youuuuuuuu

        Didn’t ttttt

      Noticeeessssssssss

     Dipper: I’m blocking you

    Bill finally reached his destination and jumped the fence as quietly as his drunk ass could. He started climbing a tree he thought led to Dipper’s window, but too late realised the room belonged to someone else. Instead, an older man was sitting on the bed, talking to someone on the phone. He seemed oddly familiar to the triangle man, but Bill couldn’t put his finger on it. A twig snapped underneath his foot and the man stopped talking. Bill scampered up the tree and climbed onto the roof. He pulled his phone out again to reply to his Pinetree’s texts.

      Bill: nnnnOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

     Dipper: I won’t if you don’t climb in my window again. My uncle is here now and he’ll

                actually beat the shit out of you.

     Bill: Okkkkkkaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy

          Wwwaaiittt who ddau

     Dipper: My Great Uncle Ford.

               He lives up in Oregon and is pretty much the reason for my lifestyle.

    Bill froze in his spot when he heard the window below him open. He could do nothing but stare at his phone screen. As the window closed again, Bill suddenly realised something.

      Bill: Wwait

           Wait wait wait

         Hold the phonbah

      Dipper: What?

      Bill: He got six fingwts oon esch hanndd?

     Dipper: Yeah?

     Bill clamped a hand over his mouth to keep from getting too loud. Sixer had almost caught him. And this freaking kid was that man’s nephew.

      Bill: you mean

           SIXER

         You’re relatedddd

        To

       SIXER

     Dipper: How the fuck do you know my uncle?

     Bill: I know

          LOTS

        Of people

      And lost of things.

     Dipper: Okay

               That’s not creepy as fuck

     Bill: I know them usually through deals, business, parties or just running into them in

          the past and all that xhit

        Sixerrr

      That’s a longfgg

     Story

    Dipper: Maybe you can tell it to me sometime

    Bill: Maybe now

        Im already on your vroff

     Sooooo

    Dipper: How the fuck…

              I don’t care

           Just get in here

     Bill: Life

         That’s how

       nO YOU SHOULD

     I fought a bIGGASSBIRD

   tO SIT UP HERE

    He couldn’t tell the truth about almost getting caught. A little lie wouldn’t hurt him.

    Dipper: How am I supposed to get on my roof?

              How dod you get on my roof?

           *did

    Bill: IiiiIIII

        Lend you a hannddd

      I used your biggass tree

    Dipper: The oak tree?

              Just give me a hand.

     Bill: Ye

         Okayyyyy

    Bill shoved his phone in his pocket and carefully moved so he could see the back side of the house. A window to his right opened and a head of brown hair poked out. A chuckle escaped the drunk man as he moved so he was over the window. The kid began climbing out. Then, he slipped. Bill reached down easily and caught the kid before he fell. He dragged him onto his lap.

    “Pinetree, I missed you.”

    The kid scoffed, but gave Bill a hug anyway, “It’s been less than a week, Bill. Let me go.”

    “Aw, c’mon, don’t be like that. I know you missed me too, kid,” Bill whispered into Dipper’s ear. Dipper’s breath hitched slightly. He pushed on Bill’s chest and let out a sigh when he was released. The duo sat together and looked up at the sky for a few awkward moments. Then, Bill realised he still had the bottle of whiskey in his grip.

    “Hey, kid, want a drink?”

    Dipper eyed the bottle suspiciously, but nodded anyway. Bill handed him the bottle and the kid took a swig. He coughed after swallowing it, “God- fuck- that shit is strong-”

    Dipper cringed a little after handing the drink back. Bill snorted when he cringed, taking another swig of his drink waving his hand around for a moment after trying not to fall on his back.  “Don’t laugh- how the hell do you even drink this stuff?”

    Bill chuckled, “That’s my secret kid.”

    “Bullshit” Dipper snorted. “The best bullshit I’ve ever heard was the time a guy I know named Jason talked about sleeping with his best friends girlfriend. And that was a harsh punch to his friendship before he realized it was a shitty joke.”

     “Oh yeah?” Bill looked at the brunette and quirked an eyebrow. “The best bullshit I heard was when Johnny DiMaggio and his boys down the road from my house got high and crashed a car in the police station and managed to get away from it with his boys. The trio doesn’t even smoke weed and you can tell.”

    Dipper waved it off with a snort but covered his mouth. “Oh my god why am I even laughing-”  

    Dipper motioned for the whiskey and Bill gave him the bottle.

    Bill elbowed the other wriggling his eyebrows with a chuckle. “What? You feeling them Misery vibes Richie’? I find it kind of funny that a good boy like you would even want a drink.”

    Dipper about choked on the whiskey before handing it back quickly to the drunk blonde. “Christ- don’t ever call me a good boy again jesus-”  

    Bill laughed, “Does that mean you’ve done something naughty, Pinetree? I wonder what you’ve done to piss off authority figures.”

    “I stole my sister’s ex-boyfriend’s car and crashed it into a tree. It put me in the hospital with two broken ribs and a concussion for a week. It was so worth it, though. That guy’s a major asshole.”

    Bill about choked on his drink. He looked over at Dipper in surprise. “Holy fuck really?”

    The blonde covered his mouth snorting at the other. “Oh my god.”

    Dipper smiled, then looked up at the cloudy night sky. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, passing the bottle and looking at the stars. Bill eventually whispered, “What do you think when you look at the stars, Pinetree?’

    Dipper thought for a moment before answering, “I think about home. The night sky makes me feel at home.”

    Bill chuckled at his friend’s response, “That’s so cheesy.”

    The teen scoffed, “Really? And what does the great Bill Cipher think when he looks at the stars?”

    “How small we really are. Compared to the universe, we’re just two tiny little specks.”

    “Isn’t that good? I mean, look around you. We’re all a part of something. Whatever universal force is out there, it specifically made this entire universe so we could be alive and be on this roof right now. Isn’t that amazing, Bill?”

    Bill stared at Dipper for a few moments, then took a sip of whiskey, “Do you always think this deeply, kid?”

    “No, not usually. I think the whiskey is starting to get to me. I’m gonna have to be careful getting back down.”

    Bill chuckled, “You’re so adorable, kid. I’ll help you out and probably stay the night again. I promise to leave before morning.”

    Dipper stared at Bill, then began laughing, “You think I want you to leave? No way, Cipher. You can stay all morning for all I care. I don’t give a damn.”

    “Really? You sure about that, Dipper?” Bill asked, one eyebrow cocked. Dipper simply nodded. “Yeah I mean it’s not like you haven’t before.”

    The brunette stated as he looked at the stars above them. “So why the hell not?”

    Bill gave Dipper a long look before grinning drunk pinetree was full of surprises. Bill leaned over and ruffled the brunettes hair. “Alrighty then Pinetree~!”

    The blonde snorted when Dipper moved the blonde’s hand from his hair with a glare.

    “Bill don’t do that again-”

    The blonde pouted, “Awh but Pinetree!” Bill whined in which Dipper snorted.

    “Nope. Not again.” Bill laid back with a small whine and stared up at the stars.

    “Okay Princess” The blonde huffed. After a few hours of laughter, tired gazes upon the stars above and talking about trippy things. The two lazily and carefully made their way back into Dippers room settling for the night.

[definitelynotwinter]

Can you do all the "distract me" asks plz UwU

If i actually fill it out will you actually care?

I’m still gonna do it tho bc what else am i going to do with myself 

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? - I have several people in my life , just not anyone i’m into like THAT 

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Hell no 

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

This

4: What’s something you really want right now? To feel okay again (:

5: Are you afraid of falling in love? Fuck yeah

6: Do you like the beach? I only went once and it was semi terrifying but also fun

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes

8: What’s the background on your cell?

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on? 

My bed , My mom’s bed,  Josue’s bed , and maybe a motel bed if I look that far back

10: Do you like your phone? 

It’s aight

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

They never go how I would like them to, everything is crumbling around me but I guess that’s just life.

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

An old mutual i’ve followed for a couple years here on tumblr, they’re pretty rad. I’m sure they’re the one who sent this ask lmao

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

I have 6 poodles so i’m going to have to go with poodle

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional , DUH

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Zoo

16: Are you tired? When am I not?

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? 3 years i think

18: Are they a relative? Nope but I wish bc their family is badass

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Only one

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? idk bitch i don’t pay attention

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Well probably not just bc i want a fairy tale wedding with lots of stuff so i’d probably PROPOSE 

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? probably not

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Zero

24: Is there a certain quote you live by? I live by a lot of sayings but I can’t think of any specific ones right now lmao

25: What’s on your mind?  How much I want to end my life

26: Do you have any tattoos? I wish

27: What is your favorite color? Blue

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Whenever I feel like it’s worth pulling someone into my world again

29: Who are you texting? Josue , Nadz, Maka, Carlos , Nick , and Howard E. Scott bc I met him at my job yesterday and he offered me a voice acting job that he’s trying to get approved by Sony

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Ya

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Everyday of my life

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? DUH

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Everyone else has feelings for me so I get really awkward and hate myself bc i don’t feel the same way

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? All the time

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? I’d punch the asshole in the face

36: Were you single on Valentines Day? Tis a mystery

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?  Hell no

38: What do your friends call you? The mom friend , Summy / Summi , Baby child , Smol bean , honey ,  Stephanie ( and I call the other person Becky ) , Jordan , Cas,  Soomer , Summy the Dummy

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? I can’t go a day without being upset by someone

40: Have you ever cried over a text? Yup

41: Where’s your last bruise located? My boobie

42: What is it from? Hell if I know

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Yesterday

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? Nick

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? My work shoes

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Sometimes

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? Sure why the fuck not

48: Do you make supper for your family? Fuck my family they can starve

49: Does your bedroom have a door? yeah , but it’s broken

50: Top 3 web-pages?  Youtube , tumblr , and gmail

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Every poor person I know?

52: Does anything on your body hurt? okay but like ..always

53: Are goodbyes hard for you? Yuuuup

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Water?

55: How is your hair? Poofy and unmanageable

56: What do you usually do first in the morning? Pet my dogs and check my phone

57: Do you think two people can last forever? Maybe. idk

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? I was literally like 8 years old so ..yes?

59: Green or purple grapes? GREEN

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? Next week maybe?

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Always

62: When will be the next time you text someone? Now 

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? in dreamland 

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning. I was asleep 

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? I was super in love with a boy named Nick , but nothing ever came of it 

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Josue or Brittany

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Hug but no kisses

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Is the rest of my life going to be like this? Plus I wonder if my coworkers did this shit for an angry customer who entrusted me with doing shit that I was unqualified to do

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Story of my life tbh

70: How many windows are open on your computer? 19

71: How many fingers do you have? how many do YOU HAVE?

72: What is your ringtone? Idk some lame shit , my phone’s always on silent

73: How old will you be in 5 months? 18 still

74: Where is your Mum right now? In her room wasted out of her mind

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? Because he cheated on me and abused me. I literally sat through the pain just for the hope of having that love come back, but I just lost all the hope for my romantic life

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Does my dog count?

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Yeah some

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?  Actually yes I do, I had a big ole crush on this boy in my art class .. I can’t quite remember his name now but i was  super infatuated with him and me and him would talk like everyday i don’t even know how i forgot him omf and then I also liked a boy named Jose and we dated for a bit

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? Every Mike I know is a drug dealer who thinks they’re apart of anonymous  and acts like they know shit about the dark web

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? yeah........

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? I don’t think ..anyone?

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? do my dogs count

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? who tf is that 

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Josue , but instead of yelling horrible things that are all sleezy we tell them “ HEY HAVE A NICE DATE I HOPE YOU FIND 20 DOLLARS ON THE GROUND “ 

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? Hell yeah , if you do drugs you do not love me or yourself and i do not want you near me.. I have had too many people in my life do drugs and it makes me extremely uncomfortable 

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? Once me and my friend Ivy went to go see some horror movie and she literally acted like those people in the commercials that spill their popcorn at jumpscares , she just down right threw it in the fucking air and i was like GIRL PLS

87: Who was your last received call from? Some spam number 

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? would the butterfly already be caught and i would just have to grab it or what , can it be dead? Can it be fake? can it be a paper butterfly?

89: What is something you wish you had more of? Icecream and money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much? YUP

91: Do you sleep with your window open? hell no

92: Do you get along with girls? Um of course 

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? Probably , but some things are better left unsaid. I have a lot of things to say to a lot of people

94: Does sex mean love? As an asexual , very much no.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? I mean... i guess matters how long

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? No but I should make it a goal to

97: Did you sleep alone this week? i never sleep alone bc i have my dogs

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? sometimes but not all the time

99: Do you believe in love at first sight? Boy i have had 2 love at first sight things happen to me recently and it was so fucking weird like when I was with my dad in a hospital there was a dude outside the door by himself on his phone and i was like so smitten we sort of talked but like .. not conversation but i saw him and i was so fucking angry that i didn’t ask for his number i was like what the fuck how do i feel like this for a STRANGEr 

then that happened to me again TODAY and oh my LORD I WAS AT THE CHEROKEE NATION POT LUCK AND THERE WAS A DUDE ALL BY HIMSELF HE WAS ONLY THERE TO GET HIS ID AND EAT AND MY HEART DID THE THING AND I WAS LIKE WHAT!!! THE !!FUCK!! i am SO ANGRY AT MYSELF I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM SO BAD WHY THE FUCK AM I LIKE HOW I AM

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise? My niece , Amy