#sometimes a use this thing like a public diary

[trasho-pando2011]

watched the premiere for spacecation a few days ago and I rlly liked it

[gardenofnoah]

the lamp light is warm across the cut of kento’s jaw. you feel it as you watch it clench—somewhere deep in your gut, the gesture makes a home that is as wholly familiar as the creak in the second step up the stairs. his hard angles are like that—you could close your eyes and know the contours of his face from memory, just as you do your own. brow furrowed in focus, he’s so beautiful that it’s almost unsettling. time has not changed him.

not like it’s changed you.

“hello, my love.”

you raise your eyes to meet his, now looking up at you. there’s a soft smile on his face—it’s not teasing, like it would’ve been 5 years ago if he’d caught you staring. likewise, you don’t have it in you to feel sheepish at being caught. not anymore.

you return the greeting, but you know that it’s not as enthusiastic as you want it to be. kento seems to know it, too. he slides the stack of papers in front of him to the side of his desk, leaving the spot in front of him empty. when he looks up at you again it’s an invitation, and it’s one that no matter how shitty you feel, you could never pass up.

you cross the room without an unnecessary step, and he leans back in his chair for you to slot yourself between him and the desk. you take your seat on the wood and he leans forward, reaching for you as he always does when you’re close enough to be just too far from him. his fingers brush down the back of your calves until they wrap around your ankles, gently pulling your feet onto his lap. you let out a little sigh when his thumbs press into the soles.

“something on your mind?”

you meet his gaze again, and it’s both fond and a little worried. he’s as perceptive as he always was—you suppose he’s had to be, though the reasons that necessitated that are few and far between now. the toe dip into retirement has turned into more of a knee-deep wade, and now he mostly uses his observational prowess on you.

you sit back on your hands, sighing a little. 5 years ago, you would’ve vehemently denied that anything was wrong, if only to make sure you could be a partner that never took up too much space. you can’t bring yourself to do that now.

“i look….different.”

he cocks his head to the side, and for a second, he almost looks boyish. it’s warm when it rubs up against the frozen thing in your chest—it thaws you a little.

“different than?”

“different than i used to.”

“right.”

5 years ago, kento’s affirmation would’ve sent you into a tailspin. but it’s different now—you know he doesn’t mean it negatively. it’s more of a prompt for you to continue—a way for him to show you he’s present in the conversation.

“i feel bad about that.”

his brows furrow again—a tiny crease in the middle of them that makes you want to reach out and poke it.

“why do you feel bad about that?”

“i don’t know,” you tip your head back, looking to the ceiling like it’ll have the words you’re searching for on it, “i just…wasn’t expecting the change, i guess. i feel like i don’t know what my body looks like anymore.”

he’s silent while he takes in your words, thumbs sliding up the inside arch of your foot while he thinks. 5 years ago, his silence would have ate at you until you packed it with empty filler to take away from the heaviness you brought into the conversation. it doesn’t bother you now, though—you know he wants to hear what you have to say. you feel secure enough to say it.

“are there specific things about your body that you feel bad about?”

you nod after a moment, choosing not to elaborate. it really didn’t matter what they were—it was not as if it was your first time feeling body insecurity, but this feeling carried a bit of existentialism that you weren’t familiar with—that was the problem.

“i feel like i’m too soft,” you say after another moment of silence. it’s not a bombshell that shatters it—it’s just a tiny pebble dropped from above that disturbs the surface.

“for who?”

“me.”

his fingers curl around your ankles and hold you there while his eyes graze your face. “what do you need right now, my love?”

his eyes settle on yours and you feel your own need for him flare up inside your chest. too warm for the thing that was there before. melted, you crack.

“maybe a hug.”

you blink and he’s standing before you, strong arms reaching around your shoulders to cage your head in to his chest. your thighs squeeze around the outside of his instinctively, like to pull him in is all you know how to do. the hand on the back of your head is warm and unwavering like the rest of him.

“not that you asked for this,” he murmurs into your skin, pressing a soft kiss to your temple, “but i love you soft. you change and i love you more than i thought i could.”

you press your forehead to his collar bone on a shaky exhale, letting his words wash over you. kento is nothing if not a man of whole truths—the biggest of those is that he loves you. it’s not like him to offer you meaningless affirmations just to placate you, so you know this carries weight—you take it for what it is.

“i want to love me soft, too.”

“i know,” he whispers into your hairline, “give it some time. you’ve done this before, no?”

his palm finds the base of your neck and massages the perpetual ache out of the muscle. there are moments that you are grateful for kento’s ability to find solutions where you cannot—to accept the control you hand to him on the basis of trust that has been earned over the years—but right now you’re grateful for his ability to know when to leave something unresolved. it might be true that to let this air out is the best thing for you to do—and knowing you’ll have kento to lean on when it doesn’t seem so simple is helpful.

the warm light casts shadows of your bodies against the wall—distorted and conjoined, and still more beautiful than you’ve ever seen. you think you can understand what he meant.

“love you, ken.”

he presses his smile into the crown of your head. “i love you, too.”

[icewindandboringhorror]

Various images of things

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

[netscapenavigaytor]

list of possible netscapenavigaytor tags:

something kind of insane and only tangentially relevant

talking about fictional character

hopefully genuinely thoughtful insight and commentary to the post at hand

deeply baring my soul for the whole fucking world to see

"this is so fucking swag awesomesauce badass"

[clamorybus]

to be clear i have absolutely no clue if spotify intentionally released spotify wrapped on palestinian solidarity day. its entirely possible that a few years ago they decided to just start releasing them on wednesdays, and this year was just an unfortunate coincidence. tbh that is most likely the case, in an occam's razor way.

and obvs i don't think people are so stupid to that posting about music for 20 minutes would make them forget about an ongoing genocide. but wrapped overtook trending for the day, which does suck in terms of news flow yknow? esp when prisoners were being released

idk i just think a lot of things i saw in response to it were also pretty asinine.like "man people really just want an excuse to complain about seeing people's wraps" what???

[satoruhour]

a/n: uururgghghh im starting to struggle to write i swear the next one will be a fluff one. pt.2 to this

warnings: long piece, sugar daddy!au, discussions of kinks including daddy kink, filming, cockwarming, creampies / breeding kink, public sex, exhibitionism, oral (f and m receiving), phone sex, fingering, cumshots, praise, somnophilia, handjobs, size kink, lingerie, let me know if i missed anything, n*sfw under the cut

✶ NANAMI

nanami is an interesting sugar daddy. he thinks it’s bc the opportunity came so randomly that he didn’t know what to do, so he’s new to this as you’re new to him, not expecting the man to show up when you had sent a drunk email to a craigslist listing

it was amusing seeing your email, but he could tell there was at least a bit of need for some monetary assistance when u sent it in because yes, you were drunk but also the type of honest drunk that reminded him of a certain friend… you literally spelt it all out for nanami in the email

and you explicitly remember sinking into your hands when you listened to your friend to go ahead with the meeting and nanami’s small amused smile, knowing way more things about you on your first meeting just from the message

you’re nanami’s first sugar baby, so tbh he doesnt know what to expect, but if he were to actually choose, he wouldnt want a sugar baby, like geto, who is too used to being indulged and spoiled. he needs gratitude or a thank you when he buys you things and he’s okay if youre picky, just not too bc then it’s like impossible to please you

he reluctantly asks gojo about it later on and he is so annoying while explaining to nanami about sugar babies and stuff, but gojo made some pretty good points, shoving a picture of his own sugar baby into nanami’s face with a laugh and then nanami immediately leaves LMFAO

i’d say nanami is pretty lenient though, just strict about what you spend money on sometimes. like if you’re buying a 2024 diary for you to journal, he’s just going to stare at you because he KNOWS you will not keep that journal up lol (sorry to the those who like to journal ahhdhfner)

or like buying those weird expensive snacks with new, experimental flavours only for it to taste like shit and nanami has to gulp down two glasses of water after eating a bbq flavoured chocolate bar

ok im aware this would work even if he wasn’t ur sugar daddy but just pretend

nanami learns the ins and outs for caring about a sugar baby pretty fast, wiring you an allowance everyday and bringing you to events occasionally, but more importantly figuring out your boundaries and how this relationship would go about

it started off purely transactional at first, but then he starts to imagine meeting up more with you, taking you places. it happens against his will for him bc he’s seen these types of relationships fall apart, and he hates opening up to ppl in the first place. but then one day you’re telling him youre meeting with someone from university and he gets so annoyed the next time you meet up

turns out you were hoping he’d do something about it, and he did

like gojo, he wants to be a good boyfriend as he is being your sugar daddy

although he’s very stoic, you know he cares for you when he does small things like buying you the right kinds of pads, paying silently for the dinner when he goes to the “toilet”, finding jobs with you because he doesnt mind if you want to earn ur own money, occasionally buying you little things he finds in high-end stores that are not clothes that reminds him of you.

he doesn’t mind the minor dent in his account after treating you, bc he knows you’re content with already needing money for university. the extra gifts are just a bonus and it warms your heart when he does all these small things

gives you money like semi-often!! he knows you dont spend it impulsively so he spreads out the times he gives you your allowance 

being his sugar baby is sooo classy like you have gotten so many tight black dresses for events that sometimes you cant find things to wear to the grocery store

goes ALL out for anniversaries always, buying you matching necklaces where he takes the other half, bouquets of flowers, that pair of earrings you were looking at the storefront

oh yea he’s always buying you bouquets, you have no idea where to put them

he’s better with larger, wearable gifts as opposed to gojo’s type of small trinket gift giving, but just like gojo he also loves getting you an initial necklace, but just for the sole purpose of showing that you belong to him. it’s cute, he finds himself staring at the N.K. on your neck every time you meet up 

nanami loves his suits, but he is TERRIBLE at dressing out of them. mismatched patterns, ugly ass shoes, please save him

he lets you drag him to buy some clothes for him but whatever he swears he just looks like a grandpa. maybe it’s bc of his light coloured hair

very good at giving pointers for your style tho, so he smiles when he sees you pick a dress bc he said so, a hand dipping down to your ass to squeeze briefly

loves when you visit him in the office whenever you have no classes for the day, a cute sundress on as you bring his lunch like a cute lil wife.

he values privacy a lot and doesnt like to open up at times, so it takes a while for him to properly let you in in his insecurities and doubts. it happens at first when you realise nanami doesnt call you the various pet names he does when around ppl he knows and you bring it up and it escalated into a whole argument

you were just so close to leaving to give him his space but then he starts slowly about having people leave him before and he doesnt want to mess this shit up again. he feels you deserve better, but you told him he is better

with that, u were able to deepen ur bond, but also it allowed nanami to allow a person in his life again, letting your things take over his bathroom space and living room

the first time he considers buying a ring is when you hang off his arm and interact kindly with his clients and fellow CEOs, ignoring the strange pull of his heart. it’s like you understand the importance of

these events, and even though through knowing you and how you didnt exactly favour crowded places, you still put yourself through it

you have to catch your breath later in the bathroom and nanami’s outside, worried as hell and you tell him youre fine, but he’s not having it so u roll your eyes and exit the bathroom, shocked to see his usually calm face turned into an expression of anxiety

he says that you both will leave immediately and you protest but all he does is shake his head and drive you back. needless to say you had so much more fun watching stupid romcoms and cuddling until youre waking up in the morning to something poking you in the back and there’s this adorable flush that overcomes nanami’s cheeks lol

n*sfw hc’s below

doesnt like to jerk off normally. if he does it’s usually morning wood or after seeing a beautiful woman but he just. doesnt get those desires and the need for release. that doesnt mean hes not good at sex or whatever. hes had his days during uni and stuff, but ever since he’s started work it’s been so busy he really has no time whatsoever

sex life with nanami is sweet yet unpredictable. youve always started out slow and sensual mainly because he doesnt want to hurt you or go too roughly but one day youre bringing up how to make ur sex life more exciting and he went “i couldve done this the whole time?”

you had the best night of your life that night jus sayin!!!!

we have established this thru the fandom but nanami is a pleasure dom when it comes to you, not quite like geto who likes watching you do the work. nanami has to give you the pleasure himself

he’s eaten you out more times than youve fucked and he’s really done it everywhere. he has done it under the table when youre on a call for your class. he’s done it at event bathrooms, he’s done it at night in the park. 

NOW. nanami is not big on public sex but then he sees you bend over during your picnic to catch the plastic bag and the wind blew up ur skirt and he saw ur cute little pussy under …. he couldnt resist it

likes the the possibility of getting caught, and it’s obvious you might because you r soooo wet every time he flicks at your clit

he only does it if he gets to eat you out, and if hes really needy, he’ll grant you a quickie but other than that he can hold himself back - plus you deserve better than to be bent over a bathroom sink

also loves breeding you, unprotected sex all da way. likes the way it seeps out of you and your shivers when you feel him fill you up. would get a vasectomy for you considering how much he looooves to cum deep in you

regarding the kinks you may have brought up to him it’s just hoping he’d be rougher, maybe even try some degradation, you even discussed he could use you when youre sleeping if he wanted to. other things include phone sex and the use of toys, but you mentioned that as long as you were both comfy there could always be a fun time

and bro loved it. u realise he’s only ever focused on praise on most days but when he’s stressed from work he always takes it out on you and you fuckin love it lol.

youve done it over the phone a few times but he thinks he prefers to do a video call better, but the first time he wanted to he didnt know how to switch the call from an audio to a video one and you had already came lmaoooo

you were giggling once nanami grumbled over the receiver, but you helped him easily just by talking bout how youd ride him or how youd suck his cock

10/10 that experience and being with you made him be more open to blowjobs more often, not that he didnt before! but hes always been putting you first that hes never thought much abt his own pleasure <3

warning for drabble: consensual somnophilia, no foreplay, mating press, nanami is a little rough, brief fingering and cunnilingus, clit stimulation, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink

nanami comes home to your sleeping figure, calm and even breaths leaving your person with a small smile on your face and all he can do is coo, running a hand up your thigh before preparing to carry you, not expecting that when you open your legs, he sees the centre of your pants harbouring a darker, wet spot, pussy lips pulled taunt from how tight your pants were.

and the man immediately chokes back a moan, remembering the conversation after he had used you to your limit on the kitchen counter, scratching on the smooth marble surface while your face was smushed up against the flat surface. with a little grin, you wished he let out his frustrations on you more, even when you were sleeping — and what better time now that his head was close to popping a vein with how incompetent his workers were?

a moan distracts nanami’s thoughts, and among the unintelligible noises you make, he can figure out how you’re probably dreaming, cock hardening once he hears that you w’nna be filled. that is enough reason for him to unbuckle his pants with a relieved sigh, the cold air on his length making him hiss as he peels his underwear off him, length hitting his torso from how hard he was.

“you don’t know what you do t’me, baby,” nanami mumbles, pumping his cock with slow strokes before swiping your pants to the side, lightheaded from just how wet you seem to be. he drags his cock along your folds, collecting your slick on his leaking tip that mixes with the pre-cum and he groans at how you seem to drip more just from that gesture, inching his fat cock into your pliant cunt without much trouble.

you’re so tight, sucking him in the moment he’s sheathed in you until he bottoms out and you’re whining louder now, still bordering on the line of consciousness and unconsciousness. you’re clenching around him so hard that he struggles to move, until he’s feeling you grasp his arm with fatigue in your eyes.

“use me, kento—” nanami grunts at those words, pulling out just to slam back into you and the slutty moan that leaves you cuts through your slumber because nanami’s deeper than he’s ever been in you. your eyes crack open at your boyfriend who’s currently fucking into you, hips moving at a speed faster usual and you cry out when his tip kisses your cervix just barely. 

“feel so fuckin’ good, just let me use you like a cocksleeve, alright?” nanami groans out, taking your legs and pressing them to your chest and the change in position makes you whine, hitting your spots so well now that you’re in a mating press. from here nanami is hypnotised with the way your juices collect on his length, the squelching noises of your sopping cunt only fuelling him on. “who’s making you feel this good, baby?”

there’s tears that linger at your waterline, struggling to even get out a coherent sentence when you’re babbling incomplete sentences and nanami smiles at the drool leaving the corners of your mouth. “you— you a-are— oh my god!”

“rub your clit for me, doll,” nanami whispers out, already feeling his orgasm approaching from how snug you were around him, and the feeling of your fingers massaging languid circles into your clit makes him grunt, and soon after that nanami cums with a loud moan, so vulnerable in that moment that his deep voice goes up a pitch as he releases in you, hot cum spilling into your womb.

you mewl from the feeling but you’re left empty when he removes his cock and dips down to latch his mouth onto your clit, shoving his fingers into your gaping hole to keep you filled. nanami sucks on your bundle of nerves until you cum with a cry of his name, toes curling on his shoulder as your slick drips down his hand. “messy, messy baby,” nanami grins, popping his fingers into his mouth before he spreads your pussy, seeing the mixture of your cum and his leak out, “let’s get you cleaned up, hm?”

✶ TOJI

toji is an all rounded sugar daddy!!! boyfriend.. not so much he is a man who values work and does it well but he gets engrossed in it too much

preferences for a sugar baby vary bc theres a lot of factors involved. it’s not just one thing that he feels will dictate if he likes you as a sugar baby or not but the one important thing he doesnt like is when you dont pull your weight? if that makes sense

like not knowing what you want in life is perfectly fine but if youre just sitting on your ass and expecting money to come in it’s irksome to him, especially when hes worked his ass off to get to where he is today

he also likes it if you have a smart, snarky mouth. it amuses him seeing you flip the finger at him or tell some worker in his company off for commenting on your skimpy outfit

you two met in university. when he was younger he used to work as a professor, but now bc hes the CEO of a big company, he’s only able to handle adjunct jobs

basically he helped you out of a shitty house and stress from not having enough money, that causes you not to do your best in classes and he’s so glad he took a chance on you because he’s never seen you so bright before in class. but he couldnt stay much after taking over a CEO position, so he left in the middle of your second year

pleasantly surprised when he gets an email one day thanking him for the stuff he did for you, offers u a job at his company and from then on he says how he’d like to take care of you despite you finishing school

it also starts out as transactional but one day youre asking to meet in his office to ask why youre getting special treatment and youre telling him it’s not necessary when youre working for him now. “nonsense. i want to take care of you.”

his feelings slipped on a late night when he was working overtime and you stayed up too in order to see toji. you wouldnt admit to yourself but you liked him too. a little more than your usual crush bc ohhh lord have you seen his physique

and he comes out to see you still working and comes to annoy you and just gives you a fat stack of money out of nowhere??? hes bad with words ok

he says i mean it and waits for you to make the first move, but you dont and hes leaning forward to give you a soft kiss. ppl were confused as to why the lights of an office were still on at 3am while you were making out needily on his desk and he pulls insane orgasm after orgasm from you that day

hes a doting man, softened by the years of ageing but he works too much. it’s all he ever knows when you’re on his office couch begging him to go home.

will usually buy in lunch bc hes lazy to get it but sometimes youll cook and bring it to him too.

loves to treat you randomly, but theyre always gifts that you’re confused about bc he hasnt bought a gift for a woman in years so the first time he gifts you an air fryer (not sure why i have an obsession w/ air fryers lately) youre like ???? wtf am i supposed to do with this

and he tells you it’s u have easy access to lunch or dinner without leaving your dorms and youre like “honey i graduated already???” and he’s like oh. oh yea

poor guy did this to himself bc hes so deep in work so he doesnt see you often. he probsbly got mixed up with the days where he would meet you in between meetings and he just was there to accompany you on ur study sesh. he liked watching you study, and it would take a while for him to admit he’s actually liked you way before he offered you a job

toji gets better with giving gifts i swear. and he does it, he lovesss to order things and make the delivery man walk up to your desk with a dior box full of clothing

but sometimes he wishes he could do something more meaningful. he likes to give you SIMPLE handmade gifts. sometimes he gets so frustrated bc his fingers r so big so theyre usually easy to complete things. they’re not like of milestones or memories or photos though, more of silly things like paper rings or a paper fortune teller.

writes. a lot, more than geto. he writes more than makes gifts, and his handwriting is so messy sometimes you dont know what hes saying, but he finds that words on paper is much easier for him than voicing it out (this makes me want to write this me thinks)

so you spend a whole afternoon trying to make out what he’s saying like a detective and when sleep catches up to you he can only smile at your deciphering questions like u were trying to solve a cipher and writes you almost got this line right lolol

looks really good in suits but needs to go shopping often bc sometimes he works out too hard and his shoulders grow again at this point he should continually donate his blazers to thrift stores

sometimes he gives them to you as a jacket of some sort and he tries not to twitch from how small u look in them. the attraction goes both ways, and he wants to cuddle you up and also fuck you silly in it

always wearing that tight shirt of his that never rlly fits him. kinda mediocre and repetitive fit — he’s not exactly interested in fashion

loves to treat you to things. loves to spoil you and see you wearing the things he bought for you, but theyre more casual clothes that he spoils you with. man likes one (1) dress and he’s hoping you wear that dress of the rest of your life lol

toji buys you lingerie just to rip it. i swear :/ youre like that was the last one on the rack!!!! and hes just “ill just commission the designer to make another” like you can do that

and he says im actually not sure. oh speaking of commissions he loves to pay for custom pieces or clothing for you. he knows what he wants for you, and he backs off if you dont like it but seeing something he envisioned on your beautiful body — he just loves it

i said at the start that toji’s not that much of a boyfriend but he tries a lot. you can see he’s trying his best to make time for you in between work but it just. doesnt happen unfortunately. he works on the weekends too so sometimes your dates are compromised

youve thought before if it were to return to it being a platonic arrangement but it hurts your heart to think of that after everything youve been through. but this has been a recurring thing that’s been happening, brought up frequently in arguments as well

it was when he had a business trip on the week of your anniversary that the nail finally hit and youre bringing it up again and he knew he couldnt escape it this time bc you were close to crying when usually you dont. does this shit mean nothing to you? did you offer to pay everything for me just to throw me to the side like you always do?

the moment you see he has nothing to say bc he knows it’s true, youre leaving to get some air and it’s the first time he really understands that he wants to keep you for life that he’s making arrangements to give everyone a raise so theyd work better. and then hes taking time off work for a week

he’s still waiting worriedly for you late at night and your friend just gives toji an unimpressed look and gives you to him, breath laced with alcohol and obvious tear stains on your cheeks and he wants to die bc he was the cause of that

he feels so guilty but for now he kisses your forehead and gets you into a clean set of clothes before laying beside you to hug you close to him. in the morning youre hungover and feel like shit and youre letting toji pat your back and giving you a warm cup of water until you’re going arent you supposed to be at work????? and your boyfriend sighs and brings you into his lap, apologising into your neck as he hugs you

toji admits he hasnt been the best and is willing to do whatever it takes for you to be convinced again and you just stay like that, exchanging slow kisses and a warm embrace, unaware that there’s already an idea of putting a ring on you in toji’s mind

n*sfw hc’s below

toji loves your pussy !!!! ohh my god after that whole situation youve had more opportunities now. he had eaten you out before in his office, fucked you there but was always threatened by time. not that he cared but hes had enough of clients backing out on him so you suggested he go into meetings earlier

it came to bite you back in the ass cause you end up being horny for him multiple times and youve only able to bribe him out of meetings successfully like three times

loves any part of your body on his cock. making out? give him a handjob. eating dinner? play footsies with him and use ur feet to massage his dick. in a meeting? BLOW HIM !!!!!

another one who loves to cum on your face, but sometimes he likes to cum on your chest and tits and when you grab his cock to smother the cum on you >>>>>

he was surprised the first time you crawled under his table a minute before his meeting started and he already knew what you had in mind. he was clearly excited, getting hard almost instantly and had to mask the redness on his face with a hand

toji coughs when you first unbuckle his pants and he’s listening in to a coworker pitch a business idea, trying to keep his composure when your mouth first encloses around his tip. and u have the gall to giggle omg? he cums so hard that time he realises hes the only one left in the zoom meeting after and the other made sure to teach you a lesson after, fucking you until everything on his desk ended up on the floor. he’d have to call the company contractor to cover up the scratch marks on the floor ehehe

obsessed with how much bigger he is compared to you, always towering over your person and he has to resist manhandling you when you place an innocent hand on his forearm and ask him a question

LOVES to send you dick pics. and his are the ones where he actually knows how to pose, like palming his bulge in sweatpants when hes home and youre not

takes a pic of his actual dick under the table at work and alludes to the time you gave him a bj 

his pictures are actually SO hot that youre immediately calling him up just to talk to him

you always end up getting off yourself too though, the raspy voice comin from your phone enough to make you cum

before, exchanging lewd messages and pics were a norm but now if he needs you he’s asking his driver to drive you back to his house STAT. bro needs to be in you asap

he once left an event where he was supposed to be presented with some award just bc you sent a very lovely pic of you in the dark green lingerie you bought on his black card

he fucked you so well that night you knocked out immediately and he had to clean you up, all lovestruck and soft

leans into the ‘daddy’ thing pretty okay, but hes okay if you dont use it either

agrees to be in suggestive tiktoks where they show off their man only to do something totally inappropriate so now that vid is kept in your priv collection bc it ended up being extended and became a vid of you holding your front camera up to your face with tongue lolled out and profanities leaving your mouth

he takes the phone later from you to film how his cock moves in and out of you yyuuuummm he loves it

like gojo, loves to video you because sometimes he goes on long business trips and he needs to have something to jerk off to

his favourite is when you’re on your back and he’s filming your pussy taking his fat cock, folds spreading so nicely while his cum from earlier forms a white ring around the base of his cock oh god he watches that over and over

also loves cumming in you but more of the thought of marking you compared to knocking you up

cockwarming aahhahsddj it’s one of his other favourite things to do, hiking your skirt and tears your pantyhose, sinking you down on his aching length and he just loves the wrap of your pussy around him. trust me he’s trying not to thrust up into you but youre breaking down easily and he hisses every time you shift just a little

warnings for drabble: cockwarming, daddy kink, semi-public sex (toji’s on a call and the person on the line hears), riding, clit stimulation, calls you ‘slut’, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink

“c’mon, tojiii, just for a while?” you pout, tugging on his arm with big doe eyes, smiling to yourself when he just sighs and mutters out a fine.

toji can’t help but smile either way, receiving the peck on your cheek with heated cheeks, but now he smiles wholeheartedly, his hard cock buried in you while you struggle not to move. there’s wireless buds in his ears, stuck in the middle of a meeting while your face is hidden in his neck, soft pants leaving your mouth.

you’re thankful the camera isn’t on at least, but you’re still at risk with the small sounds you make, trying to focus on anything but the pulsing large cock in you. you already regret asking for this when you knew he had a meeting coming up with the thought of making him crave for you. instead it happens the other way around, you begging him to move with your hips while he calmly puts his hands on them, rubbing circles into your back like it helped.

but you don’t care, not when you’re filled to the brim like this and you can’t move, so slowly you start to roll your hips, grinding onto his pelvis and you can hear toji exhale shakily, voice still firm as he agrees ro the budget the client proposed. his hand holds the back of your neck and pulls you from the embrace, setting his eyes on you with a warning but you only can shrug, lifting your hips before dropping down on his cock.

“angel…” he mutes the microphone, the man droning on about numbers and profits making his head spin when his pretty girl was deliberately ignoring his warnings, but he couldn’t blame you with how your hot, tight pussy felt around him. toji assumed his plea of that simple name he liked to call you was enough, but when he unmutes his mic, you’re pulling one side of his earbuds off, mouth close to his ears.

“please, daddy…” you mumble, still bouncing on his thick cock. by now you’ve been cockwarming him for an hour, cunt slick with juices that it drips down his balls and onto the office chair, the movement of your hips only highlighting the lewd, sopping sounds of your pussy. there’s no doubt the other man hears what’s going on but you only press on, the chair creaking below the both of you as you ride him. toji’s trying so hard not to groan himself, throat tight and uncomfortable.

“let him hear,” you whimper out, a hand reaching down to rub your clit and toji grunts at the thought of it, of you knowing you belong to him, “wan’ him to know how good my daddy makes me f-feel, mmf—”

and so he listens to you once you say that, wrapping both arms tightly around you before his hips also meet yours, your juices spurting and spilling all over from how wet you were. your moans get louder in his office while he bullies his thick cock into you, tip kissing your spots so deliciously that you can only manage one word pleas. you sink easily into him after a while before he takes the lead, fucking up into you with the sounds of his balls hitting the fat of your ass.

“my pussy’s so warm and tight. ya likin’ this huh? you little slut,” toji grins, loving how he can feel your nipples through your work attire and the stretch of your pussy on him and the shock on the other’s face. if anything, you both knew how much he wished the camera was on on toji’s side.

“y—yeah, love it s’much! gonna cum, toji—”

toji only hums, capturing your lips in a kiss and effectively swallowing your whimpers as he thrusts deeper into you, “pretty girl’s gonna cum?”

“y-yeah daddy…” he feels you nod and mumble, hands massaging your sides before he feels your pussy clench around him and you cum with trembling thighs and a lax jaw. the way you look and feel also has toji grunting out with stuttering hips and he shoots his load deep in you, sending you into a blissful, dazed state as he spills his white liquid deep down your cunt.

with a shiver, you’re catching your breath before feeling his cum spill out of you, blobs of white pooling at the hilt as you swipe a finger at it to pop it in your mouth, exchanging a grin with toji before he starts a pace again, call long forgotten and a transfer at the tip of his fingers to keep his loyal client’s mouth shut.

ty for the request muaahahahah @moonjella

[poraphia]

“PDA: Public Displays of Affection”

pairing • secret relationship!wilbur x reader 1448 words • 9.1.23 containing • secret relationship, sorry boys production, immense affection my masterlist ~! ღ mrs. mania ღ on Tumblr

“We’re about to film a new Sorry video. Want to give me a good luck kiss first?”

♡♡♡

There’s one thing about Tom Simons that everybody knows the moment you click on one of his videos.

Some viewers may find him annoying at first,

And frankly, it’s not like he’s wrong.

After Wilbur and I started dating we came to an agreement to keep our relationship a secret. There were a multitude of reasons for this. For one, we wanted to enjoy the relationship for ourselves and because of Wilbur’s music and streaming career, it would have been impossible to relish in such when there are hundreds of thousands of eyes on you. This leads to our next reason. Most of Wilbur’s friends are streamers, vloggers, gamers, you name it. That being said, most of the time we find cameras on us already. So, in order to keep up with our special secret, we tell our friends that we’re not dating so that it’s a much easier job keeping it on the down low.

So what happens when a younger boy who considers himself Wilbur’s brother constantly sees a woman constantly with Wilbur? Well, you’ll see for yourself.

I’m known to be Wilbur’s co-filmer and editor in his fanbase, meaning that even if we weren’t dating, I had to be constantly around him to help out with video planning and creating a digital diary as he was on tour. This week his friends were all coming to Brighton to shoot Chapter 2 for their Sorry! improv group.

It was the morning of, and I was met by the familiar, warming embrace of his arms slithering around my body. I scoot back a little bit, feeling his heartbeat steadily beat against my back. “Hey, are you awake?” He groggled out in a raspy morning face. I hummed in response, taking one of his hands to kiss the center of his palm. He pulled me closer to his chest as the fabric beneath us crinkled.

“I’m so sleepy…” I mumbled. With his hand, Wilbur smoothed my cheek, caressing my skin. I melted in his touch.

“I know, but we have to get up soon, darling,” He whispered. Gently, with his arm still wrapped around me, he sat us up in the bed. The morning sun peaked through the slightly open blinds, decorating our skin with streaks of light. He buried his face into the crook of my neck as the drowsiness slowly drained from me. His arms kept firmly around my torso, holding me as close as he could. Once we felt ready to get out of bed, we walked into the kitchen as I prepared a quick breakfast for the both of us.

“Do you want strawberry parfait for breakfast, my love?” I asked, looking inside the fridge.

“Yes, please.” He smiled. I nodded before grabbing the container of syrupy strawberries and Greek yogurt. Wilbur went inside the pantry to find the box of graham crackers. After he finished crushing them, he noticed me standing on my tippy toes to reach for the two glasses on the highest shelf. With a cheeky smirk, he walked behind me and lifted me up by the waist, earning a slight eep of surprise. Nonetheless, I was able to reach the glasses before he placed me back down with my feet touching the cold tile floor. I turned around, awarding him with a quick peck on the chin, before continuing on making our breakfast.

Sometimes, it was painful keeping this a secret, but I think it’s what makes moments like these more special.

Once we finished our breakfast and got dressed, we met up with the rest of the guys at a park in Brighton. Today’s film idea was to run a hotdog van of some kind, but instead, call them burgers. Honestly, don’t ask me, it was the guys’ idea. Most of the guys carpooled to the location, whereas Wilbur and I decided to take our own car. After some time walking to the park, we were both ambushed by Tommy and Charlie, who were already flopping around in hotdog costumes.

“WILBUR! (Y/N)! MY FRIENDS!” Tommy exclaimed, hugging the two of us. Wilbur pulled Tommy to the side, almost putting him in a headlock as they shared their own brotherly love. I hugged Charlie before stepping back to examine his outfit.

“You look… Meaty. You been working out?” I joked. He grinned before flexing one of his arms.

“Ah, so you’ve noticed my meaty and tender gains I see! I’ve been working on these babies just for this exact moment.” He said pridefully. Charlie flexed one of his muscles before kissing his bicep. I rolled my eyes before we both trailed back to the rest of the group. I greeted the rest of the team and even hugged Kristen to catch up with her since we last saw each other. Tommy and Wilbur then ran up to the group promptly as Russ explained exactly how the food truck was going to work. After some careful instructions, the film crew, which involved me, were told who was to record what. Per usual, I was directed to film Wilbur’s shenanigans.

“Alright, is everyone ready?” Russ asked, looking up from his clipboard. Everyone exclaimed their noises of agreement. I looked over to Will, who I noticed was patting down his pockets for something.

“Will, you okay?” Phil asked as he adjusted the scarf around his neck.

“Yeah, I just— I think I left my wallet. Uhh (y/n) can you come with me? It’s probably in the car.” He said, looking over to me.

“Oh— Yeah, sure.” I handed my camera to Russ in the meantime before walking with Wilbur to the car. I kept my hands in my pockets in the meantime to resist the urge to walk with fingers intertwined. It was far too dangerous now.

Once we made it to the car, I reached into my pocket to unlock it, but in return Wilbur just stood there, smiling at me. I tilted my head, a bit confused.

“Weren’t you going to go look for your wallet?” I asked. Instead, Will leaned on the car, smiling down at me with his chef’s hat a bit lopsided and his arms crossed.

“I actually did have my wallet. I just wanted to have a good luck kiss before we started filming.” He smiled. I rolled my eyes before grabbing him by the shirt collar so that he was now at my height.

“You know you can be annoying sometimes.” I scoffed, but a wide smile was plastered all over my face.

“I know. I just miss you.”

I placed a quick peck on his lips, but before I could pull away, Wilbur held me gently by the neck to keep me in place. Slowly, I felt my body melting by the touch of his soft lips as butterflies danced on my skin. I wrapped my arms around his neck, moving me closer to him. Tiny droplets soon started to drizzle down on us, but we weren’t leaving each other's lips anytime soon. That was until someone caught us.

“Wilbur? (y/n)? Guys it’s starting to rain and— OH MY GOD!”

We both immediately pushed each other away, only to meet with the shocked face of Tommy standing paralyzed in his hot dog outfit.

“OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE DATING! I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT—”

“I— Uh— Tommy—!” I was rendered speechless as the poor boy rapidly glanced at the both of us. Wilbur ended up breaking the standstill as he walked up to Tommy, placing two hands firmly at his shoulders.

“Yes, me and (y/n) are dating.” He said firmly. “You’re not going to tell anyone, my boiled hotdog boy, alright?” All Tommy could do was nod in response, his mouth still open ajar. Wilbur patted him on the back before heading in the direction of the food truck. I jogged over to Tommy, shaking his shoulder a bit to snap him out of his thoughts. He turned to look at me, a hand running through his hair. I shrugged, a half-apologetic smile on my face before we both walked back to the park.

“To be fair, the reason I was so shocked was because last month I tried to set you two up on a date.” Tommy mentioned nonchalantly, playing with his fingers as he walked.

I chuckled a little bit. “That’s kind of funny—” until the realization hit. “WAIT HUH?”

♡♡♡

a / n ~ thought this was cute so I jotted it down like a couple mins before waking up lolol. Reblogs and likes are super appreciated mwahh

[catmask]

hey! I remember you talked once about how you write things that you can’t talk about with other people / things you don’t want to post to your public tumblr in your physical journal, and i wanted to ask: does that actually… help? like, does it feel good to get the words out on paper? bcuz i have a lot of strong feelings that i don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone irl or online about, and was wondering if writing them down would actually help. thanks, hope you have a great day! 💙

it does actually. i dont know if its evident, but ive been using tumblr less as a personal diary lately... i think because if i really want to let something out of me, it cant come with the flinch of 'but what will everyone else think?'

writing things down allows you to give concrete form to the feelings your experience, and for me at least, its a release. i want to be a patient person.... i dont think patience means you dont get angry. sometimes, i get so angry it feels like i can hardly see whats in front of me anymore. i think.. patience is learning how to release your anger and return to a situatuon once youve allowed yourself the proper enviroment to experience it. not repressing it.

that and, journal is much more forgiving than the internet. words that arent meant to be seen by anyone else cant hurt anyone else either. you can burn them once youre done, if youd like. or you can keep them and read back on them once youve changed into someone new.

so, yes, it does help. i think everyone should make a habit of it... its a lot friendlier to your ability to feel things fully, and grow out of those feelings too.

[aloralika]

You write for Apothecary Diaries.

PLEASE DO JINSHI X READER PLEASE

Jinshi relationship headcanon

Hi ! It's the first time I write for Jinshi so I'm quite nervous but I hope you will still enjoy it ! (⁠ ⁠･ั⁠﹏⁠･ั⁠)So in this headcanon the reader is the lady compagnon of Jinshi and their having a secret liaison .Sorry for the long wait ,I was quite busy but I hope you will still like it.Sorry it's short (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ.English is not my first language.

---------------------------------------------

★Jinshi would be VERY jealous,he's the type of boyfriend who would stare at the person until they get uncomfortable or drag you off with him with a scowl on his face.

★Even if he is your superior if you bow at him he would stare at you like you did the craziest thing ever.

"W-What are you doing?! Get up !"

★He always finds a pretext to take you everywhere he want and you have to remind that you have a secret liaison and due to that he can treat you like his companion infront of other people.

★When he said “I love you” for the first time he was really embarrassed but he quickly got used to it.But you HAVE to say it back.

★We can see that Suiren really spoils Jinshi doing all household chores and runs baths for him (she even cleans his hair every morning with a damp cloth..).So you both live in a different world even if he try to ignore it.

★Jinshi shows affection in public by standing by your side everytime he has the opportunity.But when you two are alone he doesn't hold back anymore and he can finally cling to you in peace.

★When you two are alone he usually kiss you on the forehead and sometimes on the mouth.I personally think he would like to be kissed on the nose and the cheek.

★He often dreams of having a good future with you.Where you don't have to hide and where you both can show your love.

★Jinshi personality is.. complicated. Sometimes he can have a childish behaviour and act a little bratty and sometimes he becomes calm and reserved.Physically he would always be gentle as possible with you (except when he suddenly grabs you in his arms or pulls you somewhere...).

★His favourite thing at the end of the day is cuddling with you, it helps him to relax when he's exhausted and if he is very tired he dozes off a little.He would almost always be the big spoon expect when he is in a bad mood and you tried to console him.

★Jinshi would start revealing little things about him slowly and more the time passes more his secret is BIGGER.Like you could be cuddling and without any warning he would drop a BOMB.

★He know that he has a lot of enemies,so he would be very protective of you because he's scared that someone could hurt you. Sometimes he would go into overprotective mode.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were going there ?! What if something bad happened to you ?!"

★Overall Jinshi would try his best to please you (if we remove his bratty and childish personality). Sometimes you two would talk about serious things while being calm and you two cherish this short moment.

[saintsenara]

would you want to elaborate more on your thoughts on Alan Rickman as Snape? I'd love to hear more of your take on it. I dislike him in the role so much and it's insanely difficult to actually have a conversation about it sometimes because of how much some people like movie!Snape in large parts of the fandom

I have so many gripes with what happened to Snape, from how movie!Alan!Snape is a completely separate character to book!Snape (and how less flawed movie Snape overshadows the much more interesting and gray book version), how much I dislike his acting choices in certain moments to how much I dislike how he sees and describes the character in interviews

I've never heard of the diaries you mentioned, what did he say in them? I'm honestly also just curious if he even read any of the books because some of the things I've heard him say really make me doubt it 😭

there are dozens of us!

and i have no issue with being a #hater on the public timeline. for fun and profit.

but i'm actually going to start with two bits of rickman defending [it's giving diplomat].

the fact that the adult cast of the films was massively aged up in comparison to their book versions makes perfect sense. each individual film not only needed to be accessible for people who’d never read the books, but for people who'd never seen another film in the sequence - and so having a visual distinction between harry and james’ generations is completely necessary. we - as people who are undeniably more invested in the series than the average person - know that the great tragedy of the later books is that james and lily died so young that harry looks virtually indistinguishable from his father as he walks into the forest. but that doesn’t always work on screen…

it also doesn't bother me unduly that rickman doesn't physically resemble the canon snape. plenty of actors don't look anything like the characters they give brilliant performances of [and not only fictional characters, but real people], and it doesn't matter in the slightest - being an exact physical match for a character says nothing about an actor's ability to portray what they're like.

which is where my beef with film!snape starts...

the thing that never hits for me is that rickman plays snape - regardless of the situation he finds himself in - as emotionally repressed, cold, and controlled.

[even down to the costume - he was behind the decision to have snape be, literally, buttoned up].

i simply don't know how anyone could read the books and come away with this impression of snape without having fundamentally misunderstood the character. snape is incredibly emotionally demonstrative! he’s the male character other than harry - the literal narrative perspective - whose emotional state is described the most frequently! and his emotional state is always described in terms which make clear that he’s someone who feels very deeply and who registers his emotions clearly on his face!

rickman's version of snape bears no resemblance to this - and it means that his portrayal of two key aspects of snape's canon character always feels flat to me.

the first is snape's main negative trait - his cruelty. something is really lost in the fact that film!snape's cruelty is reduced to something arch and precise - and that it doesn't have the petty, childish, vindictive tone that it does in the books.

and the second is - of course - the experience which defines snape's canon arc - his grief. this is so inextricably bound up in the state of arrested development - still living at school! still beefing with people he knew when he was fifteen! - that the absence of snape's childish side in rickman's performance means that the way he portrays snape's grief is always going to feel half-baked.

and - specifically - rickman's emphasis on emotional repression in every aspect of snape's character undermines the fact that - in canon - snape's mingled love, grief, and guilt for lily is the only emotion he goes out of his way to repress, which allows the revelation of his feelings for lily in deathly hallows to actually feel like a mystery being solved.

snape is an interesting character precisely because he's so... feral - and rickman’s buttoned-up, suave, nowhere-near-as-gratuitously-mean-as-he-should-be take on him is the cause of many of the least complex and least compelling fanon!snapes [in particular, the snape prominent in pairings with female partners in which he’s kind, sophisticated, romantic, and definitely not really ugly].

the snapewives phenomenon was incredible, though. fair play to him for inspiring that.

when it comes to the diaries... what's complicated is reconciling two particular truths.

on the one hand, a diary is inherently a space for a person to record their private thoughts [they were published with the consent of his family, but they weren't originally written with the intention that they'd be published] - and, therefore, to record impolite, unpleasant, or unadmirable thoughts which they wouldn't express in person. rickman's diaries are incredibly whiny - and often quite unkind - but it's clear that this isn't because he was particularly whiny or unkind in person. obviously, it's a good and healthy thing that, if someone was pissing him off at a dinner party, he was cordial to them in conversation and saved that he thought they were an idiot for his private diary!

but, on the other hand, there are several threads which run through these private thoughts which made it impossible for me not to feel considerably less fond of him.

[hijackalx]

GALE SFW HEADCANONS:

finally we got our lover boy here. its not a secret that he like gets super easily attached. i kind of hate that they patched that out bcz it fit his character so much. but yeah in my mind its canon he gets attached suppperrr easily also kind of the type of guy to love bomb tav. not in the manipulative way tho like he genuinely thinks hes in love.

he gives everything he has in relationships too like tav IS his everything. he can be pretty clingy but thats just cuz he loves them so much ❤️ ok yandere vibes hold on. not really but imagine.

the type of dude to draw pictures of him and tav holding hands in his diary (they are not drawn good) also definitely talks to himself a lot, or maybe to his cat (sometimes abt tav)

hands down the funniest mf at camp like hes the type thats just naturally funny he doesnt even try to be. its hard to take him serious sometimes bcz of it😭😭 he gets mad af about it too. like his funnyness is a blight on his existence he just wants to be taken seriously. also feel like he has the worst luck too like fucked up things always happen to him and thats also hilarious LMAO constantly has the camp in stitches

he has bad spatial awareness so hes always triggering traps and tav gets so mad 😹😹😹

love language:

giving= words of affirmation and quality time

always wants to be with tav. also loves to compliment them but he does it in his corny ass wizard way lol like in the most extra way possible. he cant just say "ur eyes look beautiful today" hes got to say some shit like "ur viewing orbs are looking most ravishing this eventide". i bet he would write poetry abt tav but he wouldnt give it to them bcz hes lowkey embarrassed 😔 like insecure in his ability not embarrassed by the action itself. he just wants to do tav justice and he doesnt think he can.

receiving= quality time

as long as tav wants to be with him too hes happy. he worries abt being too clingy so sometimes he'll distance himself and if tav closes that distance on their own itll make him so happy. like thats the best thing ever to him. to have somebody that wants to be in his presence and listen to him ramble.

i feel like gale is similar in height to astarion so like 5'11/6' hes probably closer to 5'11. like that is the most gale height to me. also hes a little thicker with some muscle. hes def got a lil belly 🤭❤️ his pecs are rlly smthng too like thats where most of his muscle goes. those look heavy let me carry them for u king 🤲🏻😼

GALE NSFW HEADCANONS:

A FREAKKKKKK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAN IS A FREAK. WHAT was that shit in the sky ?????? THE FUCK ??? like he is THE MOST kinky mf here he will do almost anything. ONLY with ppl hes comfortable with tho. otherwise hes vanilla af. i honestly feel like hes mostly submissive tho just cuz hes chill like that. equally gives and receives. like straight up tav is his BABY he will do ANYTHING for them. probably introduced to most of his kinks thru tav (and mystra....... unfortunately.....)

loves to give head. like dear god. will beg tav to let him for real. hes very good at it too

incorporates sooo much magic. will make fake!gale fuck tav so he can watch. will use hot and cold magic and all that. electricity. the thunder stuff or whatever its called. literally anything u can think of to spice it up. he has thought of it. will also do freaky shit like using magic to mess with tav in public if u know what i mean

doesnt have a high body count i lowkey feel like mystra was his first. and he hasnt smashed anybody since. until tav.

exhibitionist AND humiliation kink. so these work hand in hand bcz like i said he doesnt do kinky shit with ppl hes not comfortable with so doing it where strangers might see is ultimate humiliation for him. but also likes to humiliate tav with it too.

will say a lot of nasty shit. this i feel he doesnt go super overboard with but its nasty compared to how he usually is. mostly when hes begging.

im gonna say gale has a solid 5 on him. and hes got hair i feel like most of the companions do but it works rlly good on gale lol. like hes got a happy trail and everything 🤤 nice hairy armpits too so u know hes got that manly ass MUSKK 💦💦💦 anyway i think his pp is pretty straight. like a wand lol. its a pretty normal pp.

aftercare with gale is the best yo like he makes sure tav is taken care of first and then cleans up on his own unless tav offers which he usually tells them to rest lol. hes just so sweet.

[sillybruja]

**TW!!** ab*se, s*xual ab*se, stalking

yeah 12H & 8H synastry is hard in any relationship but have you ever had 8H or 12H synastry with your own parents??? Okay so let's talk about it.

My Dad & I having 12H synastry

My dad's venus, NN, Saturn, & Chiron are in my 12H. None of my plants touch his 12H. In my experience, this has pretty much made so much sense of the weird relationship i had with my dad. First off, a lot of my planets fall into his 11H so we at some point did have more of a friendship. It felt hard connecting to him like a father tbh. But back to 12H. I always felt like my dad saw me as someone I just was not, or he saw me through the perception of other people. For instance, if I did something he perceived as negative or didn't like, I was "just like my mother". I think in his mind, I literally was just like her (I was def not) and because he viewed me this way I feel he sometimes treated me like I actually was her. The relationship with my dad is not good at all (that can be suggested by my cap uranus/neptune 10H & 12H saturn natal placements) but to me, it always felt like it was not good because my dad was determined to see me in a negative light. It was like he either saw me as an enemy, or had to make me an enemy for whatever reason. I'll be honest, my dad has ab*sed me in many ways throughout my life, and in the worst ways too... all in secret. There were so many secrets about him, and things to this day are still being revealed. I used to compare my dad to an onion -- each peeled layer revealing new "lore" about him. He was involved in dark stuff, and has an interest in the occult. I will leave it at that. Anyways I am sure this can manifest positively but for me, this synastry brought a lot of pain, manipulation, ab*se, power pay dynamics, s*xual ab*se, isolation, HEAVY surveillance (he'd read my diaries, go through my drawers, decide what I could wear out). We are no longer in contact as I am healing and recalling my childhood, and I have no plans rekindling that relationship. We have not formally spoken in almost 2 years, but he often makes fake accounts on social media to reach out to me, "confess" what he's done, apologize, and beg for my attention. The last he has done this was February this year, so stalking can be an issue too. But, even though I am in no contact, my dad haunted me for a while. He was like the devil on my shoulder, the monster under my bed, the sleep demon in my subconscious... 12H synastry with your parents can be very precious and sweet, but it could also manifest as your parents literally being your worst nightmare. He was mine.

My Mom & I having 8H Synastry:

My mom's moon & Neptune are in my 8H, and I have no planets making contact with her 8H. Our relationship is... complicated. What I can say is, she is just as abusive as my father, and has a sick mind. Or at least, there's something wrong with the way she thinks about people -- I sort of feel like she sees people as objects, or as a means of getting things (I think she's narcissistic). But when it comes to me... i feel like our relationship has always been emotionally distant, and transactional. My mom started making money and gaining attention off of me when I was a toddler. She used to dress me up and make me take "photoshoots" which I have lots of questions about. She claims she sold them to magazines. Or, as I got older, she would push me into doing contests that involved being in the public, or "preforming" -- all for some sort of gain. If I was not doing that, she put me in surveys to earn extra money to give to her. My mother is very greedy, very private, very malicious on an internal front. Her moon in my 8H really makes sense to me because I have never really felt like my mother was honest about how she felt about me, or she concealed her true feelings for me very well. To her core, I think she sees me as competition which is weird. But that's exactly how most of my life has been with her -- if I got an ounce of attention for something I did, she would do something to garner more attention for herself -- good and bad. Hidden motives, and dark feelings were prevalent with her. I am not exaggerating but there have been times (even still) where I question if it's not that she doesn't like me....but she actually hates me? The lines are blurred because she has hurt me in ways I imagine one would if they hated someone, let alone their daughter. Her Neptune in my 8H reminds me of how hard I tried to see the good in her, probably for too long, and up to a delusional point. I idealized her when the reality was that she was not just a neglectful, but abusive mother as well. She created a lot of illusions in me about different people in my life, and really caused me lots of mental distress at a young age. I definitely had to pull away from her all together to fully understand how this relationship affected me on a psychological level. SOOOO yeah. Of course this is just MY experience having these aspects with my parents and of course there's other aspects that can make this situation look different for everyone. Do you have any 8H/12H synastry with your parents? what does that look like for you?

[seventh-district]

CW: mention of gun violence (in a nightmare. not IRL)

i know for a fact that my period makes me more apt to cry over things because i can have a vivid nightmare about getting randomly gunned down while waiting in line to pick up a pizza then wake up and not shed a tear but when i’m on my period i can have one (1) bad dream about my father yelling at me and i wake up and promptly begin full-on sobbing into my pillow

[omg-ame-chan]

INTRO POST!!!!!!

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HI!! i am 18 years old and sapphic. i use she/her pronouns.

this is mainly an account where i vent and rant about things and i might sometimes talk about anime or rhythm games or jirai kei stuff or post lyrics of vocaloid songs out of the blue idk i just say whatever please just think of it as a public diary or something (but only i can write in it)

uhhhh i am a maladaptive daydreamer and i have depression and anxiety and do you get it i have bad mental health please understand

so if you aren't comfortable with me suddenly talking about triggering topics like sh or something out of nowhere then don't follow ! i do tag all posts talking about such topics with tw tags, so please be mindful of them!

also i really like ame-chan.

🩷

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

Haha..new tawog hcs <3

(also my mom always told me I was exactly like Gumball and I never forgot about it)

- gumball loves horror, horror films, games anything. Darwin does not.

- gumball standard face is :3, the problem is that people can't understand if he's smiling mischievously or if it's his normal face.

- gumball when he was younger liked to snooze in Darwin's bowl.

Darwin had to sleep in the bathtub sometimes for it

- Carrie feels lonely because she can't touch anything, not even Darwin. She feels alone despite being in a room with so many people.

- penny flirts, Gumball gets flustered.

- gumball enjoys saying words in different languages, he likes to say ciao, hola, excusez-moi,Nǐ hǎo and more. It's simple words really, hello, excuse me, or words of objects like pants, paper, anything. He just likes to do that.

- Darwin likes to hum parts of songs, while instead gumball likes to make little noises.

Darwin says that if he hears weird noises around him he knows he's not going crazy it's just gumball.

- gumball speaks alone, he just speaks out loud to himself (got it from his grandma.), Darwin instead likes to write (no matter how bad his handwriting is.) he just keeps a diary no one can read and instead looks like some kind of secret code.

- Richard knows how to cook, he's just too lazy to do so. Sometimes he does cook whenever Nicole can't because she's too tired.

- Nicole suffers of insomnia.

- gumball is he sits still for too long will start rocking slightly unconsciously, he doesn't even notice it when he does it.

- Darwin has abandonment issues, which explains his jealousy whenever gumball and penny hang out.

it surely does annoy gumball because he can't properly enjoy some time alone with his girlfriend, but he gets where Darwin comes from, so he doesn't get mad, but he gets annoyed still.

Gumball makes up for Darwin by hanging out with him the next day.

- Anais is.. lonely. The only time she ever gets someone to hang out with is Polly. Whenever gumball is babysitting her.

But it's still lonely for Anais since it's not that often.

- when people say Gumball is anxious and paranoid, they ain't joking. Gumball is genuinely anxious about anything, talking to people he doesn't know, going in public, coming in late, coming in too early, what if this happens, what if that happens. He just pretends he's all good (he is very much not)

- Darwin always wonders what would happen if they were fictional, who would be he shipped with.

Gumball knows that answer very well. He decides to stay silent for his brother's mental health. (He saw things that he shouldn't have)

- gumball is the kid who says romance is disgusting but then gets all lovely dovely with his girlfriend

- gumball originally wanted the bed on top because he enjoyed watching everyone from up there but Darwin wanted him by his side at night so he just got the bottom one.

- gumball is the one asking "would you still love me if I was a worm" in the relationship.

- Nicole is not a cat person, and it's actually a thing between cats. For example my eldest cat HATES other cats, it took him ages to get used to the new kitten. Oh but he's super friendly and cuddly with new people! He loves anything that isn't a cat. He purrs and cuddles.

So yeah. Nicole doesn't enjoy the presence of other cats around, unless it's a cat she knows, like her parents or his son. (It's a territory thing for cats, btw.)

- Darwin sometime pets gumball with his feet. Gumball lets him until it gets annoying.

- gumball sometimes joins in the gossip between masami and Leslie.

- Penny's dad is tormented by gumball. He's like when a cat goes specifically to the people who don't like cats and ignore everyone else. That's exactly their relationship.

Y'know the whole "I bought a cat despite my dad not wanting it" situation? Yeah. That's gumball and penny's family.

- Anais once ran a business where she sold candy, and she got money instead. Didn't run for long because president brown treated it like some illegal drug situation or something

- gumball when he was younger was that one kid who looks cute and acts innocent around adults but he's a nightmare to the other kids his age. He still is, he's just everyone's problem now.

- once in class they talked about scoliosis or any problem of posture and it took weeks for gumball to convince Darwin that he did not have scoliosis or any of the other things, he's just a cat and cats are built weird. It's normal.

- whenever Gumball coughs he sounds like a dying man who has smoked for 30 years, no one knows why but it scares the shit out of everyone each time.

- gumball thrives in dresses. He's the prettiest girl at the party.

- honestly gumball is just a crazy bastard, in the real sense. Like he's fully unhinged and it's not even funny, penny is dating some kind of maniac who will literally kill people just because he wants to prove a point (and he did already in the show. Multiple times.)

And..she still loves him and she just says "it's part of his charm."

- gumball whenever he has to go to the doctor (or vet, in his case.) has to be tied up and sedated real hard because he just hates hospitals. He just hates any hospital, doctor, vet, anything. He hates being there, it makes him super uncomfortable and he has tried before to escape but ended up doing more damage than anything

Anais Is only scared like a little kid, nothing wrong with that, usually it's Darwin to hold her hands (gumball can't because he's busy not being at the doctor. He doesn't wanna go near anything that relates to a doctor or a hospital.)

Darwin is relatively calm at the doctor's appointment (he cries after because he was real scared but was very brave.)

- the reason why gumball hardly gets sick (and if he does is because he makes himself sick just to skip school.) is because he was basically FED antibiotics when he was a toddler. His mother was just very anxious about gumball and his health.

then there's Anais, getting sick once a week.

- Gumball ironically thought of becoming a doctor once, simply because the subject itself is interesting. buttt he gave it up because he's too lazy to actually study all that crap.

- gumball either doesn't remember any of his dreams, or if he does it feels like something that actually happen (it didn't) or he was high or something.

Darwin remembers them very clearly and enjoys talking about it! They are nonsensical though.

Anais actually has.. somewhat..normal dreams? She dreams about daisy anyway.

- sometimes Leslie asks gumball genuine opinion on boys in terms of dating, since Leslie only knows gumball who (as a guy) likes guys. The rest seem to be straight (therefore will only talk to you about girls, instead of boys) or just aren't interested in dating.

..only because gumball actually has good points and good taste. In both boys and girls. (But Leslie is interested in boys.)

- gumball sometimes says that penny looks like a sunset and that he would prefer seeing her over the actual sunset, she hasn't recovered from it still.

- gumball figured out he was bisex because before he had a crush on penny he actively thought a few guys in his school were cute and he would date them if he had the chance. Probably had a crush on one or two of 'em.

- in the Wattersons house there's this rule of "don't trust gumball if he's either sleep deprived or after 8pm" because he'll start spitting stuff like "your nervous system has no idea your eyes exist so once they find out, you are already blind because the nervous system sees them as a threat." Or "you can get an aneurysm at any time no matter how healthy you are" and it freaks Darwin out to the point he can't sleep.

so they told Darwin, gumball just lies by 8pm and doesn't think straight when sleep deprived. Just so Darwin can sleep.

- penny is a gumball apologist. Yes her boyfriend is a dumbass and yes he did nothing wrong (she absolutely knows gumball is totally in the wrong most of the time but she defends him nonetheless.)

- gumball is normally on his tippy toes, like any cat. So to reach Penny's cheek to kiss her he has to get on a stool, needs her to crouch down or she needs to pick him up.

- penny is going insane with the whole red flag, green flag, situationship, one month rule this one month rule that.. gumball instead has NO idea how to date or what to do but he's doing a better job than any guy in existence.

- Carrie and gumball hang around in hunted houses. For fun. Gumball is the "hey ghosts! It's ya boy!" Type.

- penny enjoys getting all dressed up whenever it's for a date and gumball is Adam Sandler walking around with his clothing style

- usually it's gumball who makes a ponytail for Anais with her ears.

- yeah gumball has a sister, you know he's well educated on periods and all that shit. (His mother got him ready before Anais was born for when she'll need help.)

- gumball is just not innocent. Not in the sense that he's dirty minded, it's that he just knows stuff normal kids his age don't.

He just acts clueless and dumb so people don't expect much from him, he's too lazy to get high expectations. but he's actually smart and more mature mentally than kids his age.

- Darwin HATES vomiting. Vomit. Anything related to that. He's not scared but really REALLY grossed out, can't even think about it he gets nauseous himself.

- Darwin takes ages to type on phone so he always asks gumball who's relatively fast.

- Darwin.. can't spell. Or at least, has difficulties in it. Gumball always messes with him by giving him the wrong spelling. Darwin never realizes.

- gumball has big difficulties in math. and ms. Simian doesn't make it easier for him.

- Darwin info dumps about sea animals. Gumball now know useless facts about sea animals. (Does not complain)

- gumball likes lemons...again something he shouldn't eat but he does anyway.

- the nickname gumball is from the fact that he tends to sleep tucked in like a ball, which looks like a blue gumball. People just started calling him constantly 'gumball' because it's funny when a cat has a stupid name. (Realistic to irl anyway)

- gumball has a problem with texture.

gumball has both problems with texture AND picky on his own, his mother is going insane with it.

- gumball and Nicole are the fastest in the family, gumball is the fastest in his class if we don't count bobert.

while Nicole shows often how fast she is, gumball is too lazy for that. At least for P.E.

Normally he slows down so Darwin can keep up with him.

- gumball enjoyed eating fish but since it made Darwin uncomfortable he stopped altogether.

- sometimes people tell Darwin that his brother doesn't love him, because cats "don't love you", and that most likely if Darwin dies gumball will eat him.

Darwin response is "okay, I'll let him. He's gotta eat if he's hungry."

- yes gumball often ignores everyone like general cats do. He moves his ears towards your direction but god forbid him to stop his session of watching people from the window and stalk them.

- the coach has to literally give gumball an extra prize (food for free for example) to "motivate him" to do any kind of exercise during P.E. otherwise that cat will never feel like doing unnecessary exercise.

(20% of the time it works.)

- having gumball as a student is like having this guy hang around without a care of the fact that you're here.

Darwin instead will follow instructions CONSTANTLY, sometimes too literally though.

- gumball when he was little used to grab birds or small animals and bring the home, he never really "hunted" them, he just wanted them as a friend in the house.

- gumball is just an average cat just with the ability to talk.

So this small little thing with a massive ego. Y'know, kitty cats!

Nicole is more traumatized than anything, she's the opposite of gumball but that's just because of trauma, really. She still hasn't healed fully from it.

- when gumball was younger he used to bring random food to Darwin because he thought his little brother wasn't capable of doing it himself- like when a cat hunts for you and brings you birds or mice. He's just tryna help.

Sometimes he still does.

- gumball tilts his head when he's confused and trying to understand something.

- cats..play with their food.

You know damn well gumball dies that too. Just not with food, he plays around with people. By making shenanigans and chaos around of course, all in good fun! So yeah he's entertaining himself while everyone screams around.

- gumball stress eats

- when gumball, or any of the Watterson kids need comfort, they go to their father. If they need advice and someone to kick ass, they go to their mother.

- gumball would rather adopt than getting Penny's pregnant. He knows what kind of stuff can happen with a pregnancy or giving birth (death, specifically.) and his anxious ass will not put his girlfriend through that.

- gumball is secretly a nerd. He particularly likes biology and psychology.

He hides this fact about him though, being a nerd at a middle school is like asking to be killed on the spot.

- just like for Darwin watching gumball's ears move individually and can do a 180° is freaky, for gumball it's weird looking at Darwin move his little fish tail at will.

- Darwin taught gumball how to swim like gumball taught Darwin how to walk.

- gumball's grandma (Nicole's mom) has definitely cried like once or twice just by looking at gumball. Because that's HER GRANDSON. And he's just so similar to her child, it's like watching both her little girl in front of her again and watching how much she has missed of Nicole's life.

Gumball's grandpa just calls gumball "Nicole."

"hey Nicole!"

"I'm gumball"

"same thing"

- gumball remembers everything. He pretends not to, but he does. Even if sometimes people say something else happened or have no memory of it, he just remembers it.

This means he remembers when rob killed his entire family in front of him, and gumball is still not fucking over it.

right after it he couldn't sleep or just HAD to cling to Darwin because he thought nothing would happen if he did. If gumball can't die because he's the protagonist, then if he clings to Darwin then neither can he.

Took weeks, painful weeks, of gumball recovering from a trauma only he remembers. His own family tried their best to help him while not even knowing what was bothering him.

Gumball doesn't hate rob but in that moment he wanted to kill him so bad, and he tried too (the only time gumball hates that his own show is family friendly and restrained him from hurting seriously rob)

- gumball wears clothes from the girl section because not only does they fit him better but because they are just more fun to pick (the boy section is just copy and paste. It's boring.)

- yes, Darwin's shoes are STILL the same one gumball gave him all those years ago. They are kind of falling apart but he always fixes them or changes them in order for them to fit

- gumball has a group chat but its members are all the characters that exists on cartoon network. Like yeah gumball is friends with uncle grandpa, yes with Clarence, yes with any character you can think of. They are all friends.

- gumball is the one who says "hear me out" to the most disgusting creatures ever existed.

In fact he constantly says hear me out to penny whenever she transforms into something she finds "ugly and disgusting"

he never means it sexually or anything, on one side it's a joke he likes to do to see people's reaction, on the other, he genuinely loves penny despite on how she looks and it makes her feel better whenever he says that, so.

(he literally fell in love with a walking peanut, if her turning into a dragon doesn't bring him to his knees then idk what does)

- gumball was the one kicking his feet whenever penny texted him or paid attention to him. he still does.

- people think gumball is insane, like genuinely he's mad. And he agrees

- honest I like to believe that in gumball's universe every other animal evolved, cats, bunnies, ect but humans did not or if they did, they are rare asf (reason why humans are "weird" in the gumball world) then other things started to appear, probably from radiations or something and that's where the objects started to walk around.

So everything is still modern but built not for humans but for animals/objects walking around

- Tobias and Leslie did date for a short,in secret, didn't work out too well.

Now for headcanons that I do have and did said before but saying them again

- gumball likes to hang out at Penny's just to loaf and sleep on her chest. She plays on his phone instead (Penny's dad is always worried they might be doing something freaky but that's all he sees.)

- gumball is that type of cat who sits weird as fuck. Like no he doesn't sit like a standard cat he SITS CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCE.

- Darwin has HUMAN feet. the rest is fish. Like when you glue two pieces of different toys together

- gumball is a lanky dude, like for cats he's a tall and lanky motherfucker (like his mother, for cats she's super tall just like her mother.) he just wears baggy clothes so he looks tiny (because he's a young kitten)

- gumball says ominous shit for fun

- gumball constantly slow blinks at penny, she thinks he's high or sleep deprived

- when gumball, or any character that has legs like a cat, deer, horse ect. Wears pants they look like "normal legs" (human legs.)

- gumball's tail is usually down, he's not sad or anything, he's neutral, but oh if he sees penny you see that tail raise AND vibrate (for a cat it means he's EXTRA happy to see you and that he missed you as well.)

- gumball is aware that he's in a cartoon, it's all he ever knew so he can't be upset at that if you never saw the world differently.

Ok I'm done Tumblr is starting to lag when I type on this