#sometimes a situation is too far gone to ever be healthy no matter how hard you try. and that doesn’t mean i’m too fucked up and can never

[backtodecembertv]

listening to clean as if i am not the exact opposite of clean right now

[daedalmirage]

samurai woman || ch3 trial || banri || re: marigold, benkei, manako, franz

Some part he can’t quite see; some assumption that’s been barring them all from the truth.

It’s about when Koji starts crying that Banri feels like he’s going to be sick, time ticking down, the hour of the vote steadily approaching. If he takes his mind off the case for a minute, he’ll go down, he can feel it in the ricketiness of his own knees, this is not a galaxy made for a guy like me, of accidents and incidence and people being in the wrong place at the right time. Tragedy of mounting errors. Tragedy of dark mornings and moving unseen.

Should he have the anger in him, the one that tells him had Daisy not gone ahead with her plan to try and get a leg up on the game that Nina would be standing here and they would not have to send someone to their early grave? Or does the weight of her own guilt on that matter, the marr on her consciousness that she was the catalyst, is that punishment enough? Is it Nina they should be voting for, who got herself killed by sticking her nose somewhere she shouldn’t? A specter, hanging on his features, now slick with a cold sweat and unseemly from the situation’s gravity. Attempts at composure and confidence are out the window. His brain threatens to shut down again, go code red and hunker down again, but the heat in his blood that reminds him he is physical keeps him grounded.

If they will ever have something in this place, it will have been the truth. That’s all the power which they can claw back. That’s all they can do for sure. Find out how they got here, and how they might leave.

“I can explain in specifics about the vodka,” he starts, meek in the shadow of his bold and punctual prior statements. “Lauren and Kaneto have incredible regenerative abilities, able to process the poison in the drink within a minute or so. But I took a shot, as a regular human being, too. And I don’t know exactly what ratio of tea to vodka Daisy used in there, but if it had enough tea flavor for Manako to uncritically take it, then.”

He makes some nervous motion with his hands. Fidgeting, right one twitching, here and there. He scratches at the bit of his clothes just above his wrist. Repetitive motions of wiping, of sliding his fingers one over the other, of making the move to chew them, but stopping.

“If we assume that Manako was drugged sometime near, but before 7:56 AM, and that she was woken up at the crime scene sometime after we found the body at 9:21 AM, that’s. What, an hour and a half, maybe two hours between, depending how fast that team was? But in my experience, for a normal human being, who’s problems aren’t in his body’s ability to process toxins. The dosage I took, and I think that would produce similar results among similarly healthy people."

"It only took me out for about twenty minutes or so, if we all remember the party. Too short a window of time for it to have kept Manako down for that long unless Daisy gave her the whole bottle’s equivalent, maybe, which we saw she didn’t. There was still a good amount left in the bottle in the bar.”

Counting his fingers, one two three four five, one two three four five. His speaking pattern here is now shaky, slightly manic. He thinks of his more naive self, only about two months younger, but so far away.

Are we really going to do this?

“. . . but when you consider twenty minutes, and you remember that there was a sixteen minute window between Daisy broke the cabinet, and when Nina was killed. Not including the time it took for Daisy to set Manako down easy, or, get out her tools. It could’ve very well been enough time for Manako to have naturally woken up by the time Daisy and Nina were struggling. You said it was dark and hard to see in the panic, didn’t you, Daisy? It’s possible that, maybe you saw and felt Nina slump, but you didn’t see Manako in your rush to escape.”

We’re really going to do this.

“Beyond that, everything Jesse’s said lines up. In fact, it lines up even more when we consider the drops of the vodka around the stain, and the mess in the general bookstore area. That implies that Manako’s bottle was, knocked over somehow, or moved in such a way that the droplets shot out everywhere. But when we found it, and the rest of Manako’s station. It was nice and neat and undisturbed. Too clean for the chaos. Someone had to go back to fix it, and if it wasn’t Daisy. Then the only person who was still there at the time was Manako, wasn’t it?”

Banri concludes his grim statement with no pleasure, withdraws into the background, and asks himself if he is, indeed, a horrible person for speaking up.

[hes-writer]

drivers’ license

Summary: harry teaches y/n how to drive

Warnings: angst, a little bit of fluff

Word Count: 1805 words

A/N: the ‘blonde girl’ has no face claim.

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MASTERLIST

_____

There were many milestones that Y/N strived to remember; things that she wanted to embed in her memory because each fleeting moment was a few seconds away from being lost.  She was afraid that in a blink of an eye; everything would disappear, that she wouldn’t even remember what had been forgotten.

But she would never forget him. Harry. The best friend who taught her how to drive with the utmost patience, calm correction of her mistakes and gentle voice to ease her worry as soon as the shift went from ‘P’ to ‘D’.  He was there with precise instruction, detailing each rule and advice that would help her acquire her drivers’ license.  He was tolerant of her constant ability to doubt herself, always assuring Y/N that she could do it.

It was silly why Y/N was scared of driving.  It was because it felt so grown up, so adult-like and it bought a sense of responsibility.  It meant fully committing to adulthood.  There was a shift that everything was changing.  And by that, she meant everything.

.

.

.

It seemed like a distant memory now.

Y/N took the leap of faith to start learning how to drive, trusting him to teach her the ways. Harry was her light in a dark day.  His smile was bright enough for her to admit that through the haze of her nervousness; it wasn’t just caused by her fear of handling and operating a vehicle.

It also had to do with the way Y/N’s stomach fluttered with butterflies when she had parked in an empty lot, Harry sitting on the passenger’s seat as they talked to each other about anything and everything their minds could conjure up at that very moment. No filter.

How Harry enthusiastically shared his excitement about Y/N’s newfound ability to drive to and fro from her apartment to his place.  They would be able to go on drives on the coast with nostalgic songs blasting on the radio, screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs where no one would hear them.  The wind sifting through his hair to which she commented on maybe getting it snipped; it was why Harry opted to not trust Y/N with scissors anymore after a close-call with the sharp tool.  She didn’t know why he had decided to trust her with it in the first place--she was a clumsy one.

Yet Harry continued to spend each and every second of his free time with her, even when he was booked to the hilt with mandatory meetings and unplanned fan encounters, Y/N stood by his side as an unofficial photographer.  The dopey grin on her face must’ve been permanent every time that she was around him.  Sometimes she looked through the screen of the phone and wondered just how much she would break if Harry wasn’t around in her life and all she had to remember him by was the captured portrait of his kind aura leaking through the device; almost as if he was there right beside her because Y/N seemed to label her best memories with him around.

Harry was it for her.  Even if her feelings were not mutual, Y/N would take being his closest friend over being a stranger because at least she was near him.  Luckily, Harry returned her affection.  Though, it was humiliating to vouch for a relationship that would have to go through troughs and trenches in order to be rendered successful.  It seemed impossible with her stoic life compared to his fast-paced, always moving, always travelling situation.

Y/N was willing to work for it.  If she were to make a list of things she wanted most, it would be the unconditional love from the one that meant the most to her.  Harry was exactly what she wanted--what she needed.  Y/N didn’t know what she did in her past life or even now that caused the universe to gift her with a presence as charming and graceful as his but she would do it every day if it meant coming home to his warm embrace.

But Harry wasn’t so keen on commitment.  There was no denying that his thorough discourse of relationships hindered his ability to fully trust any future partners and Y/N understood that.  The distance gets to peoples’ heads, even his, admittedly.  Loneliness seeps through his fingers, directing his body to strangely familiar bodies. Ones whom he was not currently committed to. Wandering hands.

Despite that, Y/N knew that Harry was a good person.  Some may call her a fool for giving him a chance but he truly was a genuine guy.  She had seen it when he was coddled up, blankets bunched all the way to his chin, only showcasing his angelic face.  The crease of his brows free from any worries.  He was simply him.  She had seen him when he was the most vulnerable.

Harry was a romantic person.  He loved to love.  He adored the concept of having someone behind him, beside him and in front of him at all times to catch him when he fell, to support him in any new journeys and to lead him when he was lost.  Y/N could understand his shortcomings, aiming to better the other person instead of putting them down.  She wanted a dialogic approach instead of having a conversation where all she pointed out was his bad qualities.

What she couldn’t comprehend was how easily he had lied to her.

She wasn’t asking for much; Y/N promised to wait for him until he was ready. Until his previous baggage was deemed easy enough to carry, or at least when Harry was able to talk about it without anointing skepticism to his actions.  Though, Harry had blatantly disregarded her purity to be patient towards him.  Basically, he had told her that he was not ready for a relationship yet here he was now, holding hands with another girl.  The blonde woman had caused insecurities to sprout from deep within her since Harry kept citing her age and maturity, adding that she was ‘different’ from the rest as if he hadn’t mentioned it previously.

.

.

.

Y/N would ask herself from time to time; when a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound?

She compared it to the times’ Harry’s voice cracked in the middle of singing songs that embedded itself in her memory and the way his ears tinted a blush pink even under the night sky after Y/N quickly gave a glance in his direction.  She reminisced about the times when he would explain any ideas he had about new songs, thoroughly immersing not only himself but her as well, in his art.  He would sometimes stop midway as if lost in thought when really he was just mesmerized by the slope of her nose and the pucker of her lips.

He was so passionate.  So indulged and fervent in making sure everything he did was one-hundred percent, authentically him.  Harry spoke with grit when he was overly zealous and he tended with a soft voice when he felt vulnerable.

It was glaringly loud; Y/N could hear him everywhere she went.  But now that he was gone—out of reach—did those conversations ever really happen?  Was she even present when Harry shyly played a song he had been working on for her, singing stripped with just his raspy voice, serenading her with a tune describing how much gratitude he felt that she was present in his life.  He appreciated her so much for accepting him even when the world criticized his every action. For being there when he seemingly felt lonely.

.

.

.

Life itself was funny to her.

Sometimes Y/N wondered how she could let herself be vulnerable with somebody else other than herself.  It was plastered everywhere—love never lasts.  Relationships come and go, people leave and never return, friends, drift apart and detaching from oneself was even possible.  It was practically the motto of anyone searching for love—looking for a sense of comfort and belonging, yet she was practically crushed by the overwhelming reality that it may never happen.

She hated the way her heart longed for him to be near as if when he was too far away it ached in pain.  Y/N disliked the feeling of being out of place because where she truly belonged was in his arms.  Harry’s nose nuzzled at the top of her head, inhaling her scent as though it was the last time he would hold her—for a while at least.

And it really was because the next day he had left to catch a flight a mere continent away.

____

The night before was special to Y/N. Harry left with a promise of ‘forever’ and that he would return straight to her after his tour ends.  It was a dainty promise but Y/N chose to believe him because it was Harry and he never strayed from his words.

He promised to return and Y/N had sworn to wait for him. They both agreed, after admitting their feelings the night before he left, that a long-distance relationship was not how either of them wanted to begin.  Although their friendship had lasted years prior to finding out the bubbling flame between them, crossing the line as seamlessly as possible was the gateway to a healthy relationship.

Y/N could hardly wait for his return now that she was driving alone to where she needed to be.  Harry was always at the back of her mind no matter how hard she tried to distract herself.  He was attached to the episodic memory of Y/N successfully learning how to drive; that was something she couldn’t really forget.

.

.

.

Y/N unlocked the car doors, breathing deeply as soon as she was situated on the driver’s seat. The beeping of the car ringing in her ears until she was reminded to close the car door shut.

She blinked her lids tightly, feeling salty tears pooling at her waterline.  It was a sad excuse of trying to not start sobbing right then and there but she was successful.

Starting the engine, Y/N sniffled as she adjusted her mirror, making sure that she could see through them before driving off. As she focused her eyes on the road, Harry’s voice repeated in her head.

She didn’t know where she was going. Y /N didn’t really have a destination to arrive to because her brain was filled with images of Harry and her.  Kissing, hugging, looking at each other as if nobody else in the mattered; not even Y/N.

And it hurt a lot because she kept her promise of waiting for him to return but it seemed like he had no trouble filling the hole in his heart, unlike her.

He moved on.

_____

[katzkinder]

Little Drops of Water

Tetsu is his pride and joy.

It goes without saying, really, that his dear Eve is his greatest treasure in the world, and that the Item he has been given, one half of the set of four hairclips Tetsu used to keep his hair out of his face all throughout middle and highschool, are almost equally as dear to him as the boy himself. Long after Tetsu is gone, their shiny plastic, ocean blue, will last and Hugh will add them to his treasures. There they will remain alongside a young noble girl’s favored comb, a king and hero’s favorite embroidery (done by the steady and lovely hand of his wife), and… A peasant girl’s dress, carefully, lovingly preserved against the ravages of time, so delicate now that only the most trusted of his subclass are allowed to care for it.

Yes, Tetsu is his pride and joy, and yes, it goes without saying that Hugh holds him near and dear to his heart… But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t brag about him to whoever was fortunate enough to have to listen to him.

...Which is why the situation in front of him is so… Frustrating.

Now, call him a coward, call him a fool, call him a doddering old man… Perhaps he was all those things. But he was not so fool enough as to blindly praise working oneself into the ground, nor was he the type to give praise where it wasn’t due.

Tetsu was not the brightest.

He would admit this, albeit no longer to his Eve’s face. And while he would admit this, he would also much more readily sing Tetsu’s redeeming qualities. Tetsu was a hard worker. Tetsu was steadfast. Tetsu was loyal. Tetsu was a good listener.

Tetsu was all these things and more, but most of all, Tetsu was dedicated.

Which is how Hugh found himself acting as tutor, with his brilliant mind and sharp wit, while his dear Eve prepared for university entrance exams.

It was heartbreaking, though, how hard he worked. Not because Hugh believed he would fail, oh no, far from it. Tetsu might not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was fastidious, and really, Hugh thought, the thing that held him back the most was his lack of confidence in his own abilities, to which Hugh proudly thought he had been quite instrumental in rectifying, if he did say so himself.

It was heartbreaking because… Sometimes, it felt as if the only one who believed Tetsu would succeed was Tetsu himself.

And Hugh, of course.

Now, don’t get him wrong. He didn’t believe Tetsu’s family meant to discourage their son. Far from it, they wanted nothing more than for Tetsu to succeed, and they supported him fully in his university career endeavors. Except, well, Tetsu had told him that he wanted to go to university for one very simple, but very heartfelt reason.

He wanted to save their inn.

The inn which… Tetsu’s own parents felt had no future.

But Tetsu and his iron will, of course, thought otherwise, and he refused to give up on the family business, the place he had grown up and loved and worked so very hard to help run, even as far back as before he and Hugh had met. It was charming. It was lovely. It made Hugh want to fight for him, more than ever before.

The inn was something that, even more than a contract with Hugh, Tetsu took Pride in.

So Hugh, in order to nurture that pride, in order to care for his Eve, would do everything in his power to teach Tetsu everything he needed to know to make that dream of his come true. To make their home, because that’s what it is, this place. This little inn is Hugh’s home now, too. It’s no grand castle, no stone walls or towers or awe inspiring, imposing structures, but he loves it all the same, loves the people who make it such a warm, wonderful place.

He wonders how he could have ever considered letting this place die.

Hugh knows the answer, of course. It’s because he was a coward, a fool, and a doddering old man.

He refuses to be that way any longer.

***

“Hugh. Are you tired?”

The Servamp of Pride exaggerates his yawn further, rubs at one of his eyes with a tiny fist, and mumbles that he is fine, he can keep going, let them continue the lesson. Tetsu frowns at him, adjusts the reading glasses he now needs (and he’s grown into such a handsome young man, Hugh thinks, barely able to keep the smile off his face to continue his ruse), and sets the heavy prep book aside.

“No, it’s late. What time is it?”

“Check your phone, my boy… It’s almost a quarter to eleven,” Hugh informs him, just as Tetsu makes a startled noise when he confirms as such with his own eyes.

“It really is that late… Hugh, that’s amazing. You never need to check a clock or anything.” He shakes his head, willing the distraction away. “Sorry. I should have kept a better eye on the time. Let’s stop for the night. I didn’t notice, but… I’m kind of tired, too.”

And just like that, Tetsu starts tidying his space, placing his glasses back in their case and his books back in his bag while Hugh goes to fetch their pajamas. His Eve pats his head when he returns, murmuring a quiet thanks while Hugh soaks up the attention in a way very few people who aren’t big brother are able to earn from him, and after that, it’s the rest of their bedtime routine as normal. Getting changed, brushing their teeth, rolling out the futon, and climbing in together, Hugh always forever tiny against Tetsu’s larger frame, forever his Eve’s favorite teddy bear.

It suits him just fine, and he chitters softly, contently, when he’s snuggled close, tucks his head up under Tetsu’s chin and inhales the scent of pine he finds there, that wafts from Tetsu himself and his futon each. It’s soothing. It’s home.

Hugh cannot allow himself to fall asleep yet, no matter how tempting it is.

He lies there, being held, being loved, and waits for Tetsu’s breaths to slow, waits for his arms to go slack, just a bit, because once Tetsu is asleep… His real work begins.

It’s easy to slip away. A bat in the night, easing the door to Tetsu’s room open and swooping out into the halls, a wandering pet no one will see in the dark and no one will hear, silent as the beat of his wings are. He pauses, only briefly, when passing by the front desk where the lovely spouse of Tetsu’s elder sister still diligently works, greeting Miyako with a swoop and a cheep. She smiles at him, bids him safe journey.

“I’ll leave the lamp on for you. Take care, Hugh~”

A charming young lady, and she treats Tetsu well. Hugh can’t say he disapproves of her, even if her family is one he could do without. Of course, he never says as much, neither to her face nor to Tetsu’s.

That would be rude.

...To All of Love, however, he will gladly complain.

***

Hugh does not return until hours later, when the moon has passed its highest point in the sky and is on its journey back down to the horizon, chased by creatures neither he nor humanity can see, and yet, if you had asked him once, he would proclaim for certain that they were there.

Now, though, science tells otherwise, and he mourns the loss of that mysticism of the past at the same time he celebrates the inventions of the future, because it is only through the inventions of the future that he is able to monitor what needs to be monitored, and complete the tasks that need to be completed.

Such as keeping up with the local subclass, not all of which are his.

It is… Exhausting work.

Tokyo is a large place, and even without the Melancholy vampires to look after, knock on wood that it stays that way, even without Lust subclass, godspeed to All of Love, the number of them in Tokyo is staggering. Most of them are his, yes, and he does not regret granting them new life, no, never, not one bit, but… Well. Some of them need more assistance than others, and between tending the inn alongside Tetsu, studying, and this, his schedule is just… Completely packed full.

He wouldn’t trade this mind numbing feeling for the world. Not after they worked so hard to achieve what is still, unfortunately, an unsteady peace, but it’s an unsteady peace that has allowed his siblings and his subclass to prosper. To be happy, and healthy, and it leaves him puffing out his chest, tired but proud. Tired but happy.

Hugh would do even more if it were asked of him, he thinks as he sits to start putting together more flashcards and mnemonics and memory games, pens and books and note cards spread out in front of him while he lies on his stomach and gets to work. He would do even more, do whatever he could, if only to secure Tetsu’s future even more surely than the rising of the sun.

Because Tetsu is his pride and joy.

And as his pride and joy… Hugh would make certain that his Eve could rest without a single ounce of guilt.

Sleep well, my dear. The future is yours.

[deleteddewewted]

Ok, this is my last request, I swear and scout's honor...I'm sorry for bothering you and being annoying, please forgive me!

Uhm...how about a fic or headcanons on Monoma with a female s/o who's short (as in, 4' 11"...I think our boy is 5' 7", but I could be wrong) and is a coffee-addict, and it gets to a point where Monoma's worried for her addiction and health, so he tries to keep it away from her for a few days, please? He can also like, tease her about it and play the height bully since she's a shrimp compared to him when she tries to get her coffee back?

Like last time, I don't mind if what you write is sfw or nsfw. I just need more blonde copycat boi in my life, lol! Thank you! 😊 I hope you have a good day/night/weekend!

I’M SO HAPPY YOU CAME BACK!!! Don’t ever feel like your annoying, i love hearing from you.

It took me a bit to make this, sorry about that. Hope you enjoy!

Caffeine Rush

Monoma x F! Reader

Note: H/c (your hair color)

W: Mentions of NSFW, Monoma Being Absolutely in Love With You

TW: Vomit, Addiction

Monoma’s favorite thing to do each morning is to wake up to your beautiful face. You always tell him that it isn’t but he gladly disagrees with you because you’re wrong. He would watch you sleep for a few minutes, hours if the day before was truly exhausting for you, and just sigh like the lovesick fool he was. That peace becoming disrupted when the alarm in his phone would go off indicating the beginning of the weekday.

“My love, wake up.” Monoma leaned down to shower you with kisses, even as you swatted him away with your hand. The attempts that were made to cover yourself with the blanket didn’t stop him from attacking you with hugs. Warm and inviting rest but quickly changing to panic as he lifted you from the bed and walked out to the common area blanket included. Your other classmates were already up doing their usual morning routines. They found your relationship with Monoma adorable, concerning but adorable. The way Monoma brags about you and your achievement was sickening.

“Nei! Put me down, please. I was comfortable and warm.” Monoma laughed at the whining and placed you down on the couch.

“No can do my love. You need fuel in that body of yours. A healthy meal makes a healthy body. A healthy body makes a healthy mind.” You rolled your eyes at your boyfriends’ poetic speech and made yourself comfortable on the couch, laying down and covering yourself again with the blanket he wrapped you in.

“What do want for breakfast, my love?”

“Give me coffee, no sugar. If there are any muffins, give me one please.” Monomas posture deflated a little to the request.

“Coffee, again?” He questioned. You nodded your head and drifted back to sleep. The rest of the class watched as Monoma begrudgingly made the coffee you requested. The entire time he was mumbling something under his breath, something about how you loved the tar drink more than him.

You thanked him once he handed over your drink while Monoma sat down next to you with his meal. He leaned into you and ate in peace. He kept grumbling from time to time and chewed violently when he took another bite.

“Monoma? What are you doing?” You asked him.

“Nothing.” Was his only response before continuing to shovel food into his mouth. Once finished, he took your empty cup and his plate to the sink to wash. You on the other hand had other plans.

“Neito, I’m going out. I’ll see you later.” Monoma said goodbye to you and let you go. He knew what you were planning on doing and he wasn’t happy about it. Honestly, it was ridiculous how much you seemed to depend on it. It was the weekend, so there was no harm in leaving campus.

You got dressed back in your dorm room and said your goodbyes to your classmates who were still in the common area. As you headed into the city you went straight to your favorite shop. It was a small business run by a college kid who had too much money and too much time to burn. You weren’t about to complain, the coffee was good and the environment was pleasant to be in. Once there you ordered your usual coffee variant and sat down to enjoy it, not being aware that you were being watched the entire time.

Monoma was fuming. Another cup of coffee right away? You just drank your first a few minutes ago, why would you need another one? It wasn’t like you didn’t work hard, that wasn’t the problem. You were dedicated to training and your relationship with him. He understands that he could be a hassle sometimes and he’s very grateful for the opportunity to be with you, but this was just ridiculous. He didn’t want to destroy your piece but it had to be done.

“Y/n, what are you doing?” You turned towards the voice and watched as your boyfriend walked up to you. He was marching, an interesting choice but he was him so it wasn’t out of character.

“Hi, Nei is there a problem? Also, why did you follow me?” You asked amused. Monoma didn’t bother to sit down once he was next to you instead, he opted to bend down to look at you. He wasn’t happy.

“I followed you to see if you were going to buy another cup of coffee. Do you want to guess what happened Y/n? Hmm?” You giggled at him and took a sip from your drink.

“I bought coffee.”

“Yes, you bought coffee!” The other customers in the shop turned to look at the scene Monoma was making and the sudden attention filled you with embarrassment. You didn’t think Monoma would make a huge deal out of something so meaningless.

“Nei, cut it out!” You whisper yelled at him. You tried pulling him down so he would sit, instead, Monoma grabbed your cup and your hand. He dragged you out of the shop and walk with you to the train station.

“Where are we going now?” Monoma didn’t bother to respond to you. He just stared ahead of him and kept your coffee cup away from you. Once the train arrived he practically picked you up and took you inside. It was a bit empty so he was able to find seats for the both of you, he wrapped an arm around you as he kept the cup in between his legs and out of your reach. He pulled you up once you got to the correct stop and took you to the entrance of the mall.

“Whats this Nei? A last-minute date?” You teased. Monomas face flushed and just ignored your stare.

“We haven’t gone on a date in some time-”

“We had one yesterday.”

“So I thought that this would be nice and I also get to spoil you, so don’t complain.” He took your hand and brought you inside.

It was bustling with life. People walking around looking for things that they need and buying others that they don’t. It was a pleasant scene yet your body would disagree with you. The throbbing that you felt in the front part of your skull wasn’t pleasant but it was constant. It’s been like this for a few weeks. You read that coffee could help with easing it, something about it probably the throbbing being due to some visual exposure. Monoma had taken your drink so that was no longer an option. Knowing him, he probably takes a small sip and then spits it out while berating you on how your taste buds must be dead if you didn’t react as he did.

“So where to?” You asked him. Monoma laced his hand with yours and walked you to a clothing store. He looked at different articles of clothing and asked for your input. Most of the things he picked out were simple in design or minimalist, nothing that needed consideration. Yet he asked and you being the ever caring girlfriend gave some input.

“This would look nice with um, with some light blue jeans” The throbbing in your head was beginning to get worse and it wasn’t helping that the bright light within the store was the only thing to look at. It was too much for you.

“Hey, Monoma. I need to go to the bathroom, ok?” You left Monoma in the middle of the store as he just watched you go. He spoke to you but you couldn’t hear him.

He had tried reaching for you but you were already too far for him to grab. Monoma. You called him by his last name instead of his first. In the times that you both have had arguments, you always called him by his first name no matter what the situation was. You’ve been acting odd for some time and it was worrying him. He was aware that you drank more than the recommended when it came to coffee, so it wasn’t surprising that you felt ill. Monoma was no stranger to bad habits, he was being too clingy and overly competitive. You reassured him that he wasn’t clingy and that you found it endearing more than anything. Regarding the competitiveness, he could tone it down a little bit when it came to arguing with the other hero course. He felt like he was annoying to you and that you only started dating him because you felt pity for him after he fell on his face as he was running up to you. His nose was bleeding but that didn’t stop you from kissing him on the lips and accepting his date offer. He loved you, he’s known this since his first year. Seeing you sick was upsetting, he felt like a lost boyfriend for not helping you. He tried, he hides the coffee grounds, he hides your wallet sometimes and even started having you sleep in his dorm to ensure you slept.

Monoma waited outside of the store for a moment, waiting to see if you would come back once you were done in the bathroom. You never came back which lead to him going towards the bathrooms. He was met with a line of women waiting for the bathroom and a few people waiting outside of the all gendered bathroom.

“Hello. I’m sorry to interrupt you but did you by any chance see a woman who looked ill come by here?” The person turned around to look at Monoma.

“Was it someone with h/o hair?” Monoma nodded his head and the stranger pointed at one of the bathrooms that were occupied. Monoma thanked them and knocked on the door gently.

”Y/n. It’s me, are you ok?” You tried answering but the sound of gagging and something liquid hitting the toilet was indicating that you wouldn’t answer him. Monoma quickly asked around to see who had a quirk that allowed him to help you. He found someone whose quirk allowed them to change their fingers into any key, interesting quirk, and he opened the bathroom door. When he closed it he saw you slumped over the toilet throwing up.

“Nei- I can’t- breath.” You hiccuped. Monoma pulled your hair back and rubbed your back in a soothing motion.

“It’s ok, I’m here.” You continued to throw up everything in your stomach. Almost everything that came up was liquid and smelled heavily of stomach acid with a touch of coffee. Monoma watched in horror as you emptied yourself. He felt useless. He couldn’t do anything other than making sure that your clothes stayed clean.

“Y/n, let me take you back to the dorms. You need to get checked by Recovery Girl.” You felt too dizzy to protest and just lifted your arms and had him carry you out.

On the train, Monoma draped his jacket over your head, hiding you away from any light that could worsen your headache. He kept you close, your head laying on top of his shoulder and his hand on the side of your head keeping you steady as the train rocked. Once off, he picked you up and carried you to Recovery Girl. She asked him a multitude of questions about what happened and asked him to step outside of the infirmary. She sent you to your dorm to rest with a bottle full of medicine and Monoma picked you up again to make the trip easier on you.

At your dorm, he laid you down on your bed and went down to the kitchen to get you a glass of water. You sat yourself up on your bed and took some of the liquid medicine. It was bitter yet sweet, it soothed your aching throat and helped ease your agitated stomach. When Monoma came back he crouched down in front of you, handing you the glass of water he had gotten for you.

“How do feel?” His face was showered with concern. This wasn’t uncommon for him when it came to you or any of his classmates. He didn’t like seeing you hurt nor sick, so this was overwhelming his heart a little bit.

“My throat burns a bit but I’m ok.” You smiled weakly. Monoma didn’t believe anything you were telling him but he also didn’t want to start an argument.

Monoma decided to pull you into bed and lay next to you. He covered your body with his arms around your waist as he tangled your legs with his own. He gave you a quick kiss on the lips, then placing his chin on the top of your head.

“Rest my love. You’ll feel better tomorrow.” You didn’t attempt to argue with him. Your head was hurting badly and your body was still tense from the vomiting you did earlier. You made yourself comfortable within Monomas chest and used him as an anchor. He was warm and welcoming, how couldn’t you take advantage of this.

The morning came and so did the sunlight that invaded your room. Monoma woke up ready to look at your beautiful face, a smile already forming as he imagined how you would look that morning. Ethereal as always he believes. Yet, when he opened his eyes you weren’t comfortably placed in his arms. You weren’t even in the room. He shot up from the bed and went rushing down to the common room.

“Y/n! What are you doing!?” Monoma watched you as you were seated on one of the tables. With a cup of steaming coffee. Again.

“My head hurts, the coffee helps it feel better.” Monomas eyes widened as he walked towards you.

“I understand, but couldn’t you have taken some pain medication or have at least told me?” He stood next to you and looked at how much coffee you still had left in your cup. It was at halfway. He made an executive decision and grabbed it from you.

“Neito, what are you?” You tried to reach for the cup but it was immediately raised above you.

“Nei, that isn’t funny. Give me back my coffee!” Monoma only grinds at you.

“No, it isn’t my fault you’re the shortest person in our year.” You used your quirk to try and inflict some damage onto him but to no avail. He just raised it higher.

“Nei! I swear you’re all legs and arms. How are you this tall!?” Monoma could only laugh at your silly attempts to reach for the cup. He leaned down enough for your faces to meet.

“I’ll give it back if you promise me something.”

“Sure, what is it?” Monomas grin softened around the edges. His eyes looking briefly at your lips and back to your eyes.

“For one, limit your coffee intake.” You frowned at him.

“Didn’t you just hear me? It helps with the headaches.”

“And for two,” He got closer to you. His mouth inches from your own. “For every time you minimize, ill give you whatever else you want.”

You cocked a brow up and returned the sly grin.

“Oh, like what exactly Neito Monoma?” He shivered at the mention of his full name. A tint becoming present on his cheeks.

“I don’t know, maybe kissing.” He leaned closer. Your lips touching but just by a little.

“Or maybe something more.” He added in. You decided to take the lead and closed the gap between the two of you. His lips were surprisingly soft, must be because of the religious chapstick use.

He became impatient and pushed his tongue into your mouth. He sighed into the kiss and pull you in closer by placing a hand on your lower back. You kissed back with fever and played with his tongue a bit. You made him moan, the hand holding the cup lowering to place it on the table. You quickly snatched it from him and backed away from the kiss you were sharing. A  wet popping sound made itself present once you parted from him, a light string of saliva attached to your once connected lips. Monoma looked confused, his eyes hazy from the euphoria of kissing you.

“What?” He asked confused. You just giggled and walked away with the cup of the now lukewarm coffee. Monoma quickly trailed behind you, hand reaching out to take the cup. You walked to the sink and dumped all of the coffee down the drain.

“I know I should stop. I know.” You turned towards him and place your hand on his cheek. You admired him for a moment. His face was still red and his chest was still expanding slowly trying to get more air in. You gently caressed his lips with your thumb and quickly gave him a peck on them.

“But I’ll only stop because you asked me to.” You kissed him deeply. Monoma wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you in place.

“I love you Nei.” Monomas face flushed deeper and he hid his face on the crook of your neck. He had to bend down to do so but it was worth it.

“I love you too Y/n.”

[thisisgonnafuxkinkillme]

Pro Heros Comforting an S/O with various chronic illnesses

All Might/ Yagi Toshinori

For being a chronically ill person, you were a big baby about being sick. Well, for you, there was two types of ‘being sick’. One, the usual, was the everyday upkeep of your body, with the usual minimal discomfort of working a machine with missing or loose parts. On the other hand, another type of ‘sick’ would be you hunched over the toilet, or sweating in bed with a trashcan by your face, or sobbing in the shower because of how shit you feel. 

Today was one of those sick sick days. 

You never admitted to anyone when you were having an especially hard day like today, sometimes not even yourself. In between bouts of puking up the small amount of food you should’ve been able to keep down, you’d convince yourself that it was just because it was stale, or that this was a fluke, or even try telling yourself that you were over reacting. 

So when your boyfriend gently asked if you were feeling okay to be home by yourself, you enthusiastically replied, “of course I am! Go ahead and go to work, I’ll be fine!”

So, he did. 

And you were definately not fine. 

Mere moments after he left, you were hovering over the toilet bowl, heaving up bile. You screamed at your body to just stop, to please just give up, but it couldn’t hear you. Instead, it did what it knew how to do best: be sick.

Finally, it was over, and you found refuge pressed up against the cool tile of the bathroom floor. 

You were a mess of sweat, tears, snot, and puke. 

Thinking of that just made even more tears stream out of your puffy eyes. 

Pathetic. 

You shakily turned on the shower. Maybe a cold shower will snap you out of it. Your clothes didn’t matter; they’re just pajamas. So, you crawled into the shower, looking for refuge. 

The ice cold water pelted your blanched flesh mercilessly, providing both relief and shock to your system.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying your best to ignore your cramping abdomen and pay attention to the cool, refreshing liquid rolling down your back. 

In the end, though, you couldn’t focus on either of these things. 

Someone knocked at the bathroom door. By the way the person knocked, light and inquisitive, you knew it had to be him. 

He called out your name.

“Are you okay in there? Something told me to come check on you one more time,” he asked through the door. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. He knocked again, a little harder this time. 

Still, you didn’t have the strength to respond. You rested your head onto the shower wall weakly. 

The doorknob wiggled noisily before he was in. 

“Oh, honey...” he murmured as he fully understood the situation. He flushed the toilet and opened the window to let in some fresh air. 

“I’m going to open up the shower now, okay?” 

He carefully pulled back the curtain and turned off the water. His heart panged to see you struggling like this. 

Like him.

He took a moment to cradle your cheek in his palm, cooing your name.

“I’m going to get you some fresh clothes. Don’t try standing up by yourself, okay? I’ll be right back,” he instructed gently. You nodded weakly.

He returned with some fresh pajamas and a towel. You shook your head.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he inquired, stroking your hair. You couldn’t help but begin to cry. It was so humiliating being taken care of. Hell, even needing to be taken care of was degrading. 

You squeaked out tiny words between sobs. He patiently tried his best to understand what had you so upset, but he just couldn’t hear you. 

So, his only chioce was to continue to clean you up. 

Gently, ever so gently, he dried you with the towel as best as he could with your soaked clothes on.

“Pumpkin, I hate to ask you this, but...can I take off these clothes to help you get into new ones? I promise I won’t look.” 

You sobbed pitifully. 

“I...Let me...let me try,” you managed to get out. He nodded.

“I’ll be right outside the door. Knock if you need any help at all,” he assured, kissing you sweetly on the forehead before leaving you alone. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want him to see you naked; he already had done that. It was just...you didn’t want him to see you like this.

Shakily, you stood up, grabbing the clothes. Your feet stepped out of the tub, only supported on shakey knees.

Knees that gave up on you.

Within an instant, you were collapsed onto the floor. You gasped at the impact, the wind being knocked out of you.

Toshinori was by your side before you could blink. He helped you sit up, asking tenderly if you were in any pain. You shrugged.

He sighed deeply.

“I...I’m so... sorry. You shouldn’t-“ you stammered before he shut you down.

“No. I should. It’s okay for you to need help. I understand. It’s not an inconvenience.”

“...but... your job... your students...”

“They’ll be fine. Right now, let me focus on you,” he asserted. You nodded, allowing him to undress and towel dry you before redressing you.

“Can you stand?” He asked. You thought for a moment before shaking your head. Instantly, the bathroom filled with smoke, and he appeared to you in his much more muscular form in order to carry you.

He being sick himself could never hope to carry you in his skinnier state.

You didn’t care however he looked. It was just that he was there. That he cared.

You were carried bridal style to your bed, and placed down ever so gingerly. Smoke surrounded you once again, cradling you for a moment before dissipating and revealing your boyfriend in his true form.

He leaned against the bed frame, coughing into a tissue.

A pang of guilt hit you, seeing how he’d sacrificed just a tiny bit of himself to keep you comfortable.

You pushed the guilt away, replacing it with warm love.

Instead of apologizing, you murmured a “Thank you.”

Aizawa Shouta

Today was a good day. Your joints weren’t achey, and you felt good enough to even go to the store with your boyfriend. Usually, he’d go by himself, or do a curb side pickup to save time, but you insisted that you wanted to go.

“Sho, please. I’ll be fine,” you assured him.

“I don’t want you to overwork yourself,” he replied skeptically. He knew your fighting spirit coming through when he saw your determined eyes, so he knew his words were of no use. However, he also was deeply worried about the pain that could show up later on that night.

Those were the hardest on Aizawa. He usually wasn’t home at night, so when he’d come into the bedroom and see the bedsheets strewn across the floor and your pain medications sitting idly on your dresser, the cap on sideways, he’d be instantly racked with guilt. He wanted to be there for you. Even if it meant seeing you in pain. He just wanted to be able to do whatever he possibly could to help alleviate things just a little for you.

Today, though, he relented, and you found yourself at the local grocery store. You chose to not bring your cane, opting to try to pretend that you were a perfectly healthy young person.

Bad idea.

About half way through your shopping trip, you could feel the beginnings of a flare up.

“Sho... Could you help me?”

He instantly took on your weight on one arm.

“Do you need to go home?” He asked quietly as to not stir the other customers. You shook your head.

“I’ll get you something. Hold on.”

And like that, he was gone and you were alone in the bread aisle.

You sighed, rubbing your forehead.

Stupid! You should’ve known better!

It wasn’t long before he was back, riding on a mobility scooter. He stood up, gesturing towards it.

You knew it’d help, but...

“What will people think?” You whimpered before you could even think about it.

He scoffed.

“Geez, baby. I hope you realize that other people’s opinions should never trump your own comfort.”

You nodded, still anxious about how it’d look for someone like you to be using something like that.

“But...what if someone actually needs it?” You ask as you guide yourself into the seat.

“You need it. It’s okay,” he reassured plainly.

That night, you had no pain. All your body was filled with was butterflies as Aizawa gently cuddled you to sleep.

Sir Nighteye/Mirai Sasaki

You’ve always been sick. It was a part of your identity that you’d come to terms with. Sure, your life was shaped different than everyone else’s, but you didn’t mind much. 

You brewed yourself some tea, breathing in the fresh steam from the kettle. The warm air made its way past your oxygen tube, warming you from the inside out. Today was going to be a good day. You could tell that much by the light rays of sun filtering past the blinds, and the way you weren’t a coughing mess by now. Usually, you were signaled to remember to take your meds and do your treatments by your own sputtering and coughing, but today, things were going a little different so far. 

Your boyfriend came into the kitchen, stretching a little, causing his bones to crack and pop. He retrieved his black coffee from the pot, lightly and lovingly brushing his hand across your upper arm as he moved. 

You instantly tensed up.

“Don’t do that,” you frowned, glaring at him, “it’s too early in the morning to think about that yet.”

He raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence.

“Your quirk. Don’t use it on me.”

He put both hands up, “If you wish for me not to touch you, I won’t.”

“That’s...not what I’m asking for and you know it.”

He allowed himself a tiny smile. He did know that. 

You turned around, moving your attention back to your tea. Mirai stared at you lovingly as he sipped on his drink. 

Two sugar cubes plopped into the tea, honey and lemon being stirred in next. Just how you like it.

Just as you were getting enveloped in the whirlpool you made with your spoon, Mirai broke your train of thought.

“Today’s going to be a good day,” he murmured.

[imasimpforshanks]

omg I am so sorry I completely forgot to put the alphabet 😅 E C J M T for Shanks for the angst alphabet! thank you and sorry for the mistake! ❤️

Angst Alphabet - Shanks

a/n: hiii! Thank y’all for requesting! To the second anon, I went with Shanks (I hope that’s ok!!!) 💗💗💗

LOLOL THIS MY HUSBANDDDDD 💍😍

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

It would depend on how much he felt he could have prevented it. However, Shanks understands all to well just how cruel the world can be. He can’t constantly be in control of everything, so although it would be devastating, he would have to realize that this is reality.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

Shanks would use the excuse that he is a Yonko. He’s no good for you, and you deserve so much better than an infamous pirate who only brings danger. While these are just excuses - ways to make breaking up with you easier - he really would be speaking from the heart. Shanks has always felt this way but never voiced it, but now it’s finally time to let you go.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

He leaves for long periods of time and refuses to you along. You know he’s only doing it for your safety, but it hurts that he doesn’t think you’re strong or responsible enough to join his crew on their voyages (note: he doesn’t actually think you’re not strong or responsible – his pirate life is just extremely dangerous, even as a yonko).

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

He’s seen and experienced a lot of death in his life so he’d be a able to cope with it a little better than others would. Even so, your death would still be heart-breaking (he would mourn privately though). Now, if he literally saw you get killed in front of him then RIP to the person who killed you because they will be the one/s to die next.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

Shanks is quite an open book. If he’s angry everyone knows. If he’s happy everyone knows (etc.). But, if I really had to pick one… I suppose it would be sadness or grief. He feels obligated to put on a front for his crew (although they can see right through it). He tends to let out his sadness and grief when he’s alone.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

He tends to crack jokes before your fights can escalate into anything too serious. Sometimes it’s intentional, but other times it’s just his personality shining through. And rather than serious fights there’s just a lot of teasing and taunts between the two of you.

If you were to have a serious fight, it would be about both of your safety (As would most fights with any of the One Piece characters).

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

More often than not, Shanks finds himself able let go of a LOT of shit. But the one thing he can’t seem to stop feeling guilty about is his failure to show up to Marineford on time. He knows he’s not directly responsible for Ace’s death, but that doesn’t stop the overwhelming guilt. If only he had gotten there a few minutes earlier.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

Coming back to you after each voyage is something he always looks forward to. However, that happiness is short-lived when he realizes he has to leave again in a few weeks. It’s always so painful having to say goodbye again.

I don’t think he would be too different during a break-up. Perhaps he may crack a few less jokes, but other than that, his personality and demeanour when around others remains the same. It isn’t until he’s alone that he lets his smile fall.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Undoubtedly, he’d be concerned, but he knows you’ll pull through (you have to pull through). So, after that initial concern has passed, he’ll be feeling all types of pissed off. Whoever, or whatever, injured you will pay – and honestly, he may not even deal the perpetrator himself (his crew is already on it - you are like family to them).

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

I honestly think Shanks is just the type of person to just tell you if he’s jealous. But he wouldn’t say “uhh I’m feeling a little jealous” or anything along those lines – no. Instead, Shanks puts on a little pout and does a massive fake sigh until you finally ask him what’s wrong. That’s when he hits you with the “I guess my attention just isn’t enough for you”, and you’re like “HUH?? MF WHAT?” He’s literally such a child HAHA.

But, if there’s one particular person he really does not like you being around and they won’t leave you alone, then he is not at all opposed to just shoving his tongue down your throat right in front of them. That’ll definitely get the message across.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Shanks may be a goofy and laid-back individual, but he will resort to violence if the situation calls for it. So, it is very likely that Shanks would kill for revenge. Maybe he wouldn’t necessarily do it himself. But, if he orders it, it’ll definitely happen.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

Gol D. Roger’s death was probably one of the greatest losses in Shanks’ life. Roger is the reason Shanks is a pirate today, and young shanks was absolutely broken by his death.

(hard to write much for this one seeing as shanks’ character is still quite a mystery to us!)

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

One time he completely forgot a date night that you spent SO LONG planning. It wasn’t just any date night either. It was a date you planned on his final night before him and his crew had to leave again for a while. You spent hours waiting for to show up, but he was nowhere to be seen. Finally, he showed up at your place, breath reeking of booze. You just looked at him and it hit him (he was like “OH SHIT”). He started apologizing profusely. He didn’t try to make any excuses, he completely owned up to being a shitty boyfriend. But, the moment he knew he had well and truly fucked up was when you just nodded and waved good night to him, wishing him safe travels – you didn’t cry, get visibly angry you just left alone. Shanks knew that was far worse than any yelling.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?)

I literally am not joking when I say this but I think Shanks practically drinks till he passes out so even if he were to get nightmares he wouldn’t wake up LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO (ok maybe I am joking with this one but also kind of not).

In all seriousness though, I don’t think Shanks has nightmares very frequently. It’s gotten to the point where any fear or things of that matter that could be nightmares for him, have become so common in his life that he almost finds it not frightening to think about.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

He would get mad at you for placing yourself in unnecessary danger. He’d call you stupid and irresponsible, even though he doesn’t really mean any of those things – it’s just the image of him potentially losing you forever is replaying in his mind and it absolutely terrifies him.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

You saw him get serious serious once before. Like the kind of serious where he uses his conquerors haki and everything. It definitely caused a bit of a change in your relationship as it was terrifying to witness. You’ve always known Shanks was strong and intimidating when needed, but that moment really showed you what it meant when people called him an “emperor of the sea”.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

Not wanting to openly express his sadness and grief in front of others can be a very unhealthy quality. Shanks doesn’t allow himself good enough opportunities to express him emotions in a safe and healthy manner.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

(First of all WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO REJECT SHANKS ANYWAY LIKE HUBBA HUBBA I LOVE HIM ANYWHOOOOOOOOO…..) Shanks is the type to just shrug it off. He’d be a little disappointed, bc c’mon the hottest most amazing person he’s ever known just turned him down! But he knows not everything in life goes how you want it to. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and this just happens to be one of the things he’s lost. So ultimately, he’ll just shrug it off. (he will definitely get teased by his crew though).

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Shanks has no self-inflicted wounds. But he does have a scar across his left eye given to him by Blackbeard. He also has a missing arm which he (heroically) sacrificed as he saved lil Luffys life (does a missing arm even count as a scar?)

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

He’s never given you any reason to not trust him. He’s always open and honest with you. Well, as honest as he can be without placing you in any danger. Trust was something needed from the get-go of your relationship because he would be gone for long periods of time. The two of you wouldn’t be able to last without trust.

Oh, also if shanks ever did do anything to break your trust you best believe his crew will beat his ass (especially Benn). You’re family to them.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

My god does he want to see you. He would give his other arm just to be right by your side in an instant. He’s gone for weeks, sometimes months, at a time. Shanks loves his crew, they’re a lively bunch and he trusts them with his life, and vice versa. But they’re not you. They don’t provide him with that same feeling of home that you do. Sure, this could be fixed if he let you join the crew on their journeys, but he absolutely cannot place you in that kind of danger. You’re already in enough danger as it is simply being in a relationship with him.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

Rather than lashing out at you, Shanks tends to give you the silent treatment. He looks at you without a word and just turns away. He does this in an attempt to make you feel guilty and as if everything is your fault.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

There isn’t much that makes Shanks feel weak. But, being unable to be near his s/o is one of the few things that does make him feel weak. It’s a constant struggle between wanting to have them around him constantly, but also not wanting to place them in any danger. Ultimately, he decides that not placing them in danger is the better choice, despite how much it pains him.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

Shanks can handle being picked on and ridiculed himself, but he will not tolerate that sort of behaviour towards his friends. The second someone goes after a friend (or someone else he cares about) they are done for.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

LMFAOOOOOO WHY DID MY BRAIN AUTOMATICALLY THINK “his arm back” OOP-

I’M SORRY BUT I LITERALLY CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN HIS ARM HAHAHAHAHAH

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

He’d try to crack a few jokes to at least help you feel better. Other than that, he just tries to make the most of your final moments together.

[drowsy-writer]

I Can't Stop— regulus black x reader

Summary: An unmovable object vs. an unstoppable force (aka Reader tries to get Regulus to bed) 

Warning:  cursing, angst, bittersweet fluff, crying

Notes: Reader has she/her pronouns and is a Hufflepuff; this can also be read as either romantic or platonic also yes I sometimes face claim regulus as Benjamin Wadsworth pls don’t @ me i’m new here lol

Hogwarts 1975

Every Hufflepuff knows that when 10:00 hits, the kitchen goes silent. No pots boil, no ovens switch on―without the house elves, the place is as silent as the library on a good day. The alluring scents of the day’s meals would linger in the air, hitting the face of every Hufflepuff who entered eager to make it to their common room and call it a night.

Tonight the smells of roasted chicken and creamy beef stew were replaced with the stingy aroma of coffee as two students sat at the end of the kitchen’s massive table, books spread out amongst themselves. Two gigantic porcelain mugs were placed within arms reach and a fresh pot of coffee sat between them.

“Find anything yet?” the Hufflepuff asked. Her [h/c] curls bounced slightly as she looked up from her piece of parchment, observing the pale Slytherin boy across from her scrunch his brows.

“No,” Regulus shut another book and tossed it on top of the stack next to him. He reached over to his mug, which embarrassingly had an orange flat-faced kitten painted on it, and downed its remaining contents. He then slammed the mug on the table and ran both of his fingers through his short ebony locks,” nothing. Yet.”

“House elves are bound to wake up soon,” [Y/N] mused. She cocked her head towards the tiny door sitting next to the fireplace,” maybe we should call it a night.”

Regulus groaned as he reached for the pot of coffee and poured himself another cup. The pot shook a bit as Regulus poured it, the bags underneath his eyes growing darker. [Y/N] looked at her friend and sighed.

“We’ve gone through almost the whole library, Reggie,” [Y/N] said. Regulus took a quick swig of his refilled cup of coffee and cracked open another book,” look! That’s even the same book you opened last night. Cover and all!”

“Nope,” Regulus held up the book and tapped his pale finger on the cover where it read Volume 2. It was [Y/N]’s time to groan as she took her own mug, this one with a silly looking dog on it, and sipped at the now cold contents. Her face scrunched up as she placed the mug down,” Zatara might’ve been a loon, but he was Bullock’s assistant. He probably hid something in here so Dumbledore or anyone else couldn’t find and burn it..” 

“What makes you think that Volume 2 is gonna have something when the first one didn’t?” [Y/N] had got up from her chair, cold cup of coffee in hand, and dumped it down the drain of the sink behind her. She turned the faucet on, rinsing out the mug and gently putting it back on the drying rack. When [Y/N] spun around, she was met by Regulus’s signature scowl,” don’t get your knickers in a twist. You know I’m right. I’m always right with these sorts of things.”

“I know,” Regulus hissed. He looked back down at the book,” but right now, I’m hoping you’re wrong.”

[Y/N] huffed as she sat back down on her chair again. A small yawn escaped her lips but she knew it’d be a while until Regulus decided to pack his stuff and leave. This was the case every night since 2nd year where Regulus and [Y/N] would stay up right before the elves came back in to prep for breakfast, reading and discussing topics both school related and pure nonsense. Neither knew how this little tradition started and, quite frankly, neither cared. It was a breath of fresh air for [Y/N] and a sense of normalcy Regulus craved for within his ever turbulent life. 

As of recently, however, their midnight meetings were overwhelmed with a sense of dread. It had been months since Regulus had properly been exposed to the world of the Death Eaters and of Lord Voldemort, courtesy of his mother. From then on, he had been put into an almost inescapable hole, one that he was intent of crawling out of. Regulus might've not had the luxury of running away like his brother, but he sure as hell wasn't going to give in without a fight.

“So if I am wrong, what’s gonna happen next?” [Y/N] asked.

Regulus quirked a brow as he stopped reading the passage he was on. Not even bothering to look up, Regulus clicked his tongue in thought. He then, to [Y/N]’s annoyance, shrugged his shoulders and continued to read.

“I don’t know. Haven’t thought that far yet.”

“What do you mean you haven’t thought that far yet? We’ve been looking into Horcruxes for the past three months and you haven’t the clue as to what you’ll do next?!”

“Something like that.”

“You're so—,” [Y/N] let out a muffled scream as she buried her head in her hands,” you're insufferable, you know that? Why am I even friends with you?”

“Haven't thought that far yet either,” Regulus smirked. 

“Very funny, Reggie. Now c’mon,” [Y/N] motioned towards the stack of books,” let’s stash these away. We’ve got a Potions exam tomorrow morning, remember?”

“Yes, I remember.”

Regulus didn’t make an effort to get up and continued to read through the book. As Regulus flipped through another page, [Y/N] muttered underneath her breath as she jumped down from her seat and walked over to the Slytherin’s side.

“Alright. That’s it.”

Before Regulus could make sense as to what was happening, [Y/N] wrapped her hands around his waist and hoisted him up from the seat.

“[Y/N]?!” Regulus sputtered, dropping the book from his hands,” let me go!”

“Oh shut it, Black! You need to get some sleep!”

Still in her arms, Regulus tensed as their bodies pressed against one another. He cursed himself underneath his breath as his face flushed red.

“Just put me down. Now.”

“No.”

“[Y/N]—!”

[Y/N] tightened her grip as Regulus squirmed within her hold. She dragged him from his chair to the middle of the kitchen where he finally pushed himself off.

“What the hell was that for?”

“You need to sleep, Regulus! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends. You’ll fall back if you keep doing this.”

“Well what else am I supposed to do, then? Run away from my problems like my brother? Ignore them? I can’t just turn away from my family and pretend nothing ever happened!” Regulus shouted. His breathing turned ragged, as if he just finished yet another Quidditch match, “what would you expect for me to do?”

“I—I don’t know! I don’t have the answers for everything!” [Y/N] retorted. Regulus groaned as he turned around, intent on picking up where he left off in his book,” but I do know that when the time comes, whatever remnants of a plan you do have, you’ll be too exhausted to do anything about it!”

Regulus stopped in his step as he stared at the rack of spices before him, afraid of meeting his friend’s eyes. He took a deep breath, composed himself, and turned around. His eyes had yet to meet [Y/N]’s as they shifted throughout the room.

“Why are you—ugh,” Regulus sighed as he ran his hands through his hair,” I just—this is how I work, [Y/N]. You’ve known it since 2nd year. Even when I stop, I can’t stop. When I go to sleep at night, my mind is still racing with all this bullshit about purebloods and Muggles and—.”

“But you can’t just—.”

“—And the fucking potions test you won’t stop telling me about! There’s so many things in my mind that I think Bellatrix’s head looks healthy compared to mine! I can’t stop thinking about my family, my house, even Sirius for Godric’s sake! I can’t stop worrying that if I were to put a pause for even a sliver of a second, everything I’ll ever love will cease to exist. I can’t risk that [Y/N]. Not for a second. Not when I have so much on the line.”

[Y/N] looked down at the floor as her friend’s words ran rapid through her head. She touched her forehead with the palm of her hand, dragging them down until they met the bridge of her nose. 

“Fucking—I know that, Regulus. I just—,” [Y/N] gave a pained expression as she pinched the bridge of her nose,”—fuck! I just want you to be okay, ok? You’re my friend. My best friend, actually. It hurts like hell because there’s nothing I can do about it. I can get you as many books as you want, sneak out around the castle as much as you want, lie to as many people as you want , but I can’t—no. I won’t stand here and watch you whittle away. Not when I can do something to prevent it.”

Regulus swallowed hard as his eyes met [Y/N]’s and the pit that had been growing inside his chest began to increase, pushing painfully against his rips. He felt his lungs constrict and if Regulus didn’t know any better, he’d say someone casted a Crucio curse on him and it was slowly ripping his body from the inside out.

“I just can’t let him win, [Y/N],” Regulus mumbled. He leaned back on the table and pressed both hands to his face, rubbing at his eyes as tears began to build up in the corners,” I can’t let that thing win, no matter what.”

Shielding his face from [Y/N], Regulus quietly sobbed as his friend stood in front of him, tears threatening to pour out from her eyes as well. Taking a deep, shaky breath, [Y/N] slowly walked towards her friend and gently wrapped her arms around him. Despite the slight size difference, [Y/N] was able to situate her friend so that his face was buried in the crook of her neck. She combed a hand through his inky, black locks.

“I know won’t,” [Y/N] said,” but I highly doubt snake face over there is going to wait for you to take a quick power nap. We’ll beat him, but not like this.”

Regulus’s grip tightened around [Y/N] and she felt his lips pull into a smile as a low chuckle emitted from him. 

“It’s amazing how you’re not a Ravenclaw with how much wisdom you spout out.”

“Well I’m far more interested in my friends then a bloody book,” [Y/N] stepped back, hands still wrapped around Regulus, and smiled,” now let’s clean up and head to bed. You deserve at least one good night’s rest.”

[crybabykiko]

I just came across you nsfw with Osamu and I really enjoyed it I was wondering if You could do one for Kita?

Hi love! This is for u 💕 and all the kita fuckers worldwide- myself included bc I’m in love with him now 🥺

NSFW Alphabet - Kita Shinsuke

Nsfw below da cut g

gn!reader focus in this hoe

A/n: ty @honey-makki for being my partner in degeneracy and my wife ilysm bc she can read when I can’t

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Will feed you a full meal. His way of making sure you’re cared for is keeping you well fed. He will cuddle you and spoon feed you himself if he has to, as long as you eat every single bite. He has a routine for everything, aftercare is no exception. He runs you a bath, then, while you soak, he cooks. Will make sure to throw a hoodie in the dryer before heading to the kitchen so it'll be warm for you post shower. Then he feeds you and holds you, playing with your hair or your hands until you fall asleep.

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

You already know what the fuck is going onnnn! Kita is honestly so well sculpted that it really doesn’t matter but let’s talk about his back/shoulders. He’s so mf broad and it's very sexc of him. He’s also very fond of when you cling onto and scratch it up…. delicious

He loves your hands. He loves to hold them, especially when he’s looking straight into your eyes as he drills the hell out of you- he’ll lift one up and kiss it bc ✨romance✨

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Oh he’s going to fill you so full of cum that it pours out of your ears. He has a big breeding kink, and huge loads to match. But he’s also very healthy and takes good care of himself so his cum isn’t bad on your tongue on the off chance he hasn’t already cum inside you 600 times prior to finally doing so in your mouth. And he’s going to kiss you after- very sexc of him.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

Lost his virginity in a barn. Got a tick on his ass of all places. The barn isn’t the secret tho... the tick is.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

When you got together- he was definitely a virgin. Had only gone as far as MAYBE second base. But you used that to your advantage, because you’ve essentially built him up and trained him to be PERFECT for you. You also helped him find out what he likes and what makes him feel good too. Sure there was a lil’ corruption involved, but in the end you’re both very happy with your sex life.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Full on mf wrestling mating press. He’s going to have his cock so deep inside of you that if he even pushed a bit more his body is gonna go in too. Then he’ll just live there. He’s fine with that.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

Unintentionally so. Every once in a while, you’ll both giggle or laugh because you have to reposition when you start to cramp up or you accidentally hit him in the face when tying to pull him closer or something. But he’s a firm believer in the whole “if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with you shouldn’t have sex with them” addage, so he’s very grateful for those light moments.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

It could definitely be neater. He isn’t abysmal, but he is hairy and could stand to trim a tiiiny bit more often. He’s just very low maintenance down there. As long as it’s clean he's good, which is both true and a decent place to start but pls tell him to get a little off the top of you know what I mean.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈y

He’s! So! Loving! He’s always going to go the extra mile to make you feel special. He likes to keep things on the softer side I’d say 8/10 times. He prefers to make love instead of just fucking it out- but if you get into an argument or he’s frustrated, he will happily go hard… but still with candles and a massage. Also I said it already but he’s gonna hold your hands while he demolishes you- interlaced fingers and all that cute shit even tho you’re getting railed.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

His grandma is one of those old ladies that’s like “don’t do that you’ll go blind,” so poor baby was a lil pent up before he got older. Now, he still doesn't do it often, but he does it once a month or so as part of his routine. He uses coconut oil because he likes the smell and that it melts easily.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Breeding, listen it’s just embedded in country boys to fuck and fill. He is no exception.

Spanking, moreso as a way to direct you. Moving too much? slap to stay still. Changing positions? Slap to get you moving. Just wants to see you jiggle? Yeah that too. Motivational slaps also come into play when he wants you to know you’re doing a good job.

Auralism, He LOVES to hear you. The sound of your breath, your moans, the way you chant his name when you’re close… he eats that shit up. It feeds his ego and boosts his pride. He also makes a lot of noise himself, mostly really deep moans but there’s a sprinkling of praise throughout too.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He needs privacy. So he’s definitely one to want to keep it at home or at least somewhere secluded and away, where he knows only you and him are there and will know about it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He doesn’t care how he does it, but his number one priority, is making sure that you cum. Kita is a giver. And he will make sure to give you whatever you want from him.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He’s not into SUPER rough stuff. He’s not vanilla, but he is the kind of guy that sees sex as “lovemaking” so he’s not gonna punch you in the face or throw you around like a ragdoll. It’s just not his style. Of course if it's what you want, he will… but never expect him to ever bring it up or do so on his own.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Ok so- he's… teachable. I’m not gonna lie, he would start off as absolute trash. But the good thing about him is how adaptable he is, and how willing he is to learn. You’d have to have him work at it a lot but once he gets good he’s great. He’ll love the feeling of accomplishment he gets from you getting off with only his mouth- it does wonders for his pride.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

It’s very even- until he starts to get close. When he’s close he’s going to speed up so much that you have to brace yourself against anything that’ll hold you. He is definitely a headboard grabber too.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He likes to take his time with you. For that reason, he isn’t a huge fan. You would really have to convince him that it's worth it. He doesn’t see the point in instant gratification, and thinks you should be patient. Good things come to those who wait and all that Kita stop being so stoic and rail me at the farmers market challenge

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

Lmfao you think this mans is really gonna go for a public or semi-public scene? Think again. Now, he’s into sex outdoors sure, but only in your fenced in, enclosed backyard. He’s not letting anyone see you point blank periodt, you’re for his eyes only.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Excellent self control. He can hold off on cumming for as long as you need him to. Usually he’ll tap out himself after you’ve gotten through at least 3 of your own highs- but his record is 6. Has a super long refractory period tho- so he does things this way to make sure you get everything you need in one go.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually likes using toys on you. He has a bunch of different plugs and vibes that he uses to suit the situation. He prefers to use a hitachi wand on you while he’s fucking you, but all the others he uses for foreplay- or after to keep you full to the brim of his cum.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

You both tease each other absentmindedly. He doesn’t know why he gets so turned on by you scrubbing the floor on all fours (that’s why), but he does. He also doesn’t understand why you think its hot when he cuts firewood in winter or wipes his forehead with his shirt during the summer. He thinks he’s gross and sweaty- but you can only think of a million other ways to make him sweatier.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Listen we stan. He’s not quiet in bed by any means, but he’s not overly loud either. He’s the type who takes deep breaths and then on the exhale let’s out a moan from deep in his chest- you know the one. And he does that shit on purpose. Not really, but he does think of it as his way of letting you know that he feels as good as you feel. Will also 100% hit you with the “is that it baby? Is that the spot?” While you’re practically turning into jello underneath him bc he absolutely knows that’s the spot he just likes to make you say it.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

Wants to recreate the sex scene from tthe notebook with you. He can’t explain why, he just has an unexplainable urge to suck your face off in the rain and then proceed to raw you after peeling all the damp clothes from your body. Please oblige him.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

He’s got the thickness. Not coke Can thickness but like… you remember the Alaskan bull worm from ep of SpongeBob? Well he’s the whole worm, not just the tongue. I’m going to hell for that reference but ya he has a nice dick. The perfect thickness and and I’ll say a pretty good 5.5-6 inches worth. It’s also very veiny on the underside which- yes I love that.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

Normal sex drive, since you tend to do it at least 2 times a week. He only seems to get a little needier when you CAN’T have sex regularly- ie, one of you is sick or you’re away from each other. When that happens, he’s a little edgier than usual, can snap sometimes but not often.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He’s the type to get a second wind after. He’ll only go to sleep after he makes sure all your aftercare needs are met, and even then, he’s only going to power-nap it for maybe 10mins. He’ll stay still and cuddle you while you sleep, but he’ll most likely watch tv or scroll through his phone while you enjoy his warmth. Every once in awhile he’ll give you a kiss while you stir.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith @tsumue @disasteren @hoe4abbacchio @sillykittt @ukaisbaby

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

hi can i please request one where levi's s/o is sort of like him in personality but just melts whenever theres a baby. like she'll see a baby in town and will go from silent and moody to the heart eyes emoji but a person, or she'll babysit her neice or nephew or cousin and will be just so loving and bubbly? like its obvious that she wants to be a mum but she never brings it up because she doesnt think he wants kids and eventually they get pregnant + his reaction? sorry if this is too much (1/2)

ΑΝΟΟΟΟΝ IM BLUSHING THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really loved this request and it inspired me so I pushed before others because I had to get it out of my system. I hope you like this. It's super duper long also👉👈

Warnings: uhh pregnancy, mentions of anxiety

Tags: fluff, domestic Levi, pregnancy, modern au

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Baby Fever

Your heartbeat grew louder with each passing second as Mike abused the door with one too many knocks. You didn't know if you could talk, or breath or do anything other than vomiting though this time from the anxiety building at the pits of your stomach and not due to your very recent event of morning sickness.

"Are you alright in there?"

You choke on your own voice as you try to huff a single response. It's not really up to your judgement of you're alright or not but rather in the small white object's that rests between the thumbs and pointer fingers of each of your hands. You contemplate if there's a way to not raise any more suspicion to the blond male, you're at his house for all that matters. Nanaba called you to take care of their their twins and you happily complied to your half sister's pleas because Mike had a very important job interview. Life had taken a toll on him lately, they couldn't afford a babysitter and he was just recently fired due to his company having to cut down expenses thanks to the pandemic. Amidst this pandemonium he had to find a way to provide for his family and help Nanaba with at least a short monthly salary. So babysitting your beloved niece and nephew wasn't much of a problem. Not until now.

At first it hadn't bothered you that your period was late, you had accepted the pcos lifestyle the hard way ever since you first got it. You would track down your period in hopes you could ever predict when it would come again but it always seemed to surprise you. Sometimes it would come in a months notice only to take four months to do a full circle. At twenty three, this was the most positive outturn as a resolution to your problem. Levi was pushing you to eat healthy and exercise to get a better grip of your situation, even though you knew it was in vain. And thus, overall it didn't bother you that you hadn't had your period still, fatigue and breast inflammation were also common problems due to hormonal abnormalities so you chose not to pay any attention to those early signs either.

What had driven you to urge Levi to drop you off to the drugstore next to Nanaba's house though was that you've been having symptoms of morning sickness for almost a week now, that you had tried to push aside for Levi not to notice. He would quarantine you on your on your own and go stay with Erwin and Hange had he any suspicion of you being down with the stomach flu. The stomach flu though didn't feel like that and you knew, you had been through it one too many times, this was something different and yet you cursed at yourself for overthinking it. You had bought the pregnancy test as something that was supposed to turn out negative, as a positive resolution that you weren't pregnant and that you should quest for whatever it was that was making your stomach turn and twist every morning.

Upon finally opening the door in an attempt not to delay Mike who wanted to attend his interview, the blond male inspected your form with a harsh gaze. "You shouldn't push yourself if you're sick. We could call my mother to watch over Eli and Blaire."

"No." You pushed it off. "I'm fine Mike, it's probably that weird mushroom soup I ate yesterday, Levi insisted on not buying it but I didn't listen."

"I see." Mike said scrunching his nose at the process. Sometimes you hated that he knew you so well that he could even smell you lying, but he was Nanaba's childhood friend before her mother married your father and had you; you had practically grown up with the blond duo so for all you knew, even if he was certainly aware that you were lying he didn't push things further. He simply placed a hand on your shoulder, the brother like nature of his touch as assuring as one can be. "If you need anything call me, I'll answer as soon as possible, drink lots of water and don't wear yourself down."

You bore your eyes into his and nodded simply. Mike greeted the twins with reluctance and let out a sigh before fixing his suit perfectly on his shoulders. The small kids smiled bubbly in return and waved at their father enthusiastically. As soon as the door closed and their father got out of sight both children jumped on you with loud giggles. The act alone was enough to curl your lips into an upward position.

By noon you had fed and lulled the kids to sleep, earning some significant time to sink into the crevices of the feathery soft sofa before Nanaba came back from her shift. As tiring as Eli and Blaire were you enjoyed their teeny company. You didn't mind their lack of ability to form full understandable sentences yet, you loved how they didn't even try to spare a second thought on what they bubbled on about and you did your best to provoke them to speak correctly. They would open their arms for you, their tiny palms signaling you to take them into long affectionate hugs as they called a baby spoken version of your nickname and you would melt at it every single time. Everyone knew you much you loved the chubby cheeked sweethearts, as much as it contrasted with your usual demeanor. There was something that truly made you feel like the best version of yourself when you were around them.

Babies seemed to be a hot topic in your group of friends for a couple of months now, ever since you started helping Nanaba in the house before Mike got fired. Levi seemed very unbothered by the subject in a way that saddened you almost; sure, you might have talked about it in the past, being that he was a little older than you and he might have understood that you longed to be a mother one day, but that was as far as that one conversation had gone. He still had that bored, stoic gaze that slipped off of yours when you would encounter a baby in the street, whereas you would basically make heart eyes and weird grimaces to any infant he would just click his tongue and avert his gaze away, to any other direction as if he disapproved off your fondness.

That memory alone left you hollowing inside as you recalled of the two very much pink lines on the screen of the test this morning. Naturally you would check with a doctor before jumping to conclusions, there still was a chance that the test was at fault and you wanted to bet on simply that. If the case was that you were actually pregnant though things were more complicated than you wanted them to be. For instance you were still in University, for your last year at that, but you had excessive amounts of studying to get your hands on your degree and Levi was cornered and ready to be squished by his job for being a vice president, which was unfair as he worked for Erwin. You understood the situation though as Erwin was struggling to keep the company going especially through these rough rough times. There was also the fact that you were terrified of Levi asking you to put the baby down, with pcos wearing your system down you were panicking that you wouldn't have a chance to conceive a baby later on. What if this was your only chance? You've always longed to be a mother so it didn't matter that it came to you this early right?

The sound of the front door clicking open shook you off your thoughts immediately. For better or for worse it was Nanaba that had finally returned, eager to strip herself of her clothes and face mask and run to the bathroom. She offered you small greeting to which you only nodded, your tired mind ordering your eyes to find comfort at small shapes in the ceiling. You didn't know how long your sister took in the bathroom, but judging by the lack of giggling coming from the babies' room you supposed it wasn't for long.

"You want to wait for Levi to come pick you up or should I give you a ride home when Mike's back? He should be home soon!" She spoke as she poured water in a red metallic boiler.

"I'll just walk. I need some air."

Nanaba emitted a soft hum in response "Are you alright? You seem off."

"Oh no." You brushed her off "I was just thinking about what I should wear at Erwin and Hange's anniversary dinner next week, and what gift to buy Levi now that his birthday is coming."

"Good, I see, just don't stress alright?"

___

The way home was longer than you had initially remembered, whether it was for your inability to walk with a steady pace or mostly because it was already getting dark and cold. You wondered if Levi would be getting home by now as you neared the apartment complex the two of you resided in. By the looks of your illuminated window he was already home as expected of him this certain hour. It probably was one of those days when he didn't have a strict deadline to attend to, which, under normal circumstances, only meant more cuddles and kisses for you. Yet, tonight was different.

"Hey Levs" Your voice lingered in his brain the moment you stepped inside.

"Hey brat, welcome home." The kiss you left on his cheek as you hurriedly headed to the bathroom was different, off almost, and he picked up on it immediately. "Did Nanaba drop you off? I had asked Mike to come by tonight, he said he'd bring some tea leaves he bought for me."

He leaned at the frame of the door as he watched you wash every crevice of your face thoroughly, paying enough attention to the insides of your outer nasal cavity. He was pretty meticulous about hygiene and especially at times like these with a hole pandemic going on he wasn't taking any chances, you knew, plus you were kind of disgusted of germs lately yourself, you thought you finally understood where he was coming from. He took a few steps ahead, away from your body in search of a clean face towel to hand out to you when you were done. You have it to him, even if he seemed cold as stone that domestic lifestyle was mesmerizing to you.

"Thanks baby, you're the best." You half smiled.

"You good?"

At this point you wondered if you seriously we're so easy to read. You supposed you were off, but you were always off and unresponsive to many things so what exactly was it about today that made everyone know you had a conflict in your mind.

"Yeah I'm just tired, I walked here."

Levi clicked his tongue at that "Nanaba's home is very far away from here, have a shower and I'll rub your legs and feet." With eyes that never left yours Levi watched as your face lit up a little more, he gave you a tiny of a smile on return.

"You prooomise Levs?" You knew teasing with him could only lead to one thing, yet you did it shamelessly.

"Tch, of course, hurry up, I'm making pancakes with eggs and bacon."

Normally at the very sound of this particular food your eyes would water and your mouth would drool but the unresponsive nature of your expression only sent a new wave of worry through Levi's chest. As much as he had wanted to convince himself you were just tired, he couldn't, not after this reaction to your favorite snack. He decided not to push you into saying anything you didn't want to though. Maybe it was that enormous amount of notes you had to memorize for your next exams in addition to your fatigue and any hormonal altercations.

"Yeah" you trailed off "babe, about that, can we have cocktail shrimp? And maybe fried rice and fries? Pretty pretty please?"

Ah, there it was. Although it was a rare occasion for you not to be in the mood of his infamous pancakes, you could still have a few different cravings from time to time. Levi let out a sigh of relief as he proceeded your order trying to figure of where he should order from, last night's mushroom soup had messed your stomach up, that he knew, but you seemed to be fine now so in theory that should be enough to prevent him from whining out his concerns.

As he closed the door to the bathroom he hummed his favorite tune to himself, softly enough as not to disturb you with your bath. He picked up his phone from the kitchen table with ease before collapsing on the couch, there was a limit to what his body could take and he had surpassed that by far these past few months. Endless deadlines that took turns one after another and extra hours at the office had been killing him, mentally and physically, making him a little more grumpy than usual. In great addition his back ached, his fingers were sore and his mind felt like canned alphabet soup every single night. Perhaps, seeing him in this state was taking a toll on you as well; you were always so protective over him, almost like a mother to her child, despite being younger, and he if he had to, he'd admit he enjoyed it a little too much than he should have.

When you came out of the bathroom he gazed over you briefly, you were sitting before the end of the dresser, standing in front of the full body mirror, examining your form. He seemed to be puzzled by your demeanor once again. Normally, or up until yesterday, you would have immediately shot out to where he was seated at to plough into his arms with wet hair, only to slightly irritate him for getting him wet, not that he didn't enjoy to smell your fresh scent anyway, but it was a game of routine for you by now. It was almost as if you were seeking to be scolded at for not rushing to dry your hair. He always wanted you as healthy as ever.

You couldn't shake off your head how soft Levi's chest is. There probably wasn't a reason as to why he's sleeping shirtless tonight, your apartment was very warm, given that it was the start of December already, but you didn't complain. The feeling of creamy, milky soft skin, perfectly excused by any coarse hair was slowly putting you to sleep. You loved how Levi was so soft everywhere you touched, it was so unlike what the world perceived of him, maybe your baby's skin was going to be as smooth and perfect as his and not as dry and oily as yours. Of course the baby's skin was going to be soft, ugh and those little arms and legs, you couldn't lie to your self, deep down you were just a tad excited to have a baby, if it meant that it would look like Levi you wouldn't want to give up on it for the world.

"Levi, does Kenny keep baby pictures of you?"

"What?" The onyx haired male raised a brow at your inquiry but didn't give you enough time to repeat yourself before he answered. "My mother had so many pictures of me so I guess that it's natural that he has some and well there probably are a few pictures from after my mother's death, I'm not that sure."

In response, he only earned a hum.

"Tch, can I lay on your chest? I want you to play with my hair." His eyes pleaded with you in the darkness. Of course you could never say no to such thing, you loved it even more when he was the one sleeping on you. Another sentence left his lips, this time with a yawn as he shifted himself on you, cooing like a small child. "I'll call Kenny tomorrow, sleep now I know you need it."

____

Under any other circumstance you would have loved seeing everyone's dumbfounded faces stating at you as if they had seen the dead rise from their graves. You had to pinch your arms to remind yourself this was indeed serious and you shouldn't let out a single chuckle.

"Please tell me you're joking" Nanaba pleaded, placing her hand on yours in disbelief.

"I'm going to screeeeeam! Shorty can't even hold it in, ghaaaa!"

"Hange he will hear you through the restroom."

Hange blinked her eyes rapidly at the sound of that. "You haven't told him?" She immediately seemed to lose her enthusiasm, something you hadn't intended to happen, especially at such a night, but you knew you didn't have a say in other people's emotions.

"Hange he never seemed too fond of the idea, why would I complicated things for him?"

Mike's eyes widened in disbelief. There was no way in hell he was having this. You were practically his little sister, seeing you so tormented as you were in the moment when you spoke those words ravaged his last nerve, causing anger to clench his hands into fists. He watched as you took a small bite of your food giving the rest to Eli who was comfortably sitting on your lap, tapping his little hands on the rim of your plate. Other than the fact you broke out such news to him, Nanaba Hange and Erwin and had expressed your fears on informing your significant other, you seemed quite bubbly. Children really did bring out such a soft side of you, he knew that was for sure.

"Hange" you spoke, unphased as ever "Levi's coming please stop screaming at me, i love you but it's only making me dizzy."

It felt as if a thousand pairs of eyes were burning holes through his whole body, his head, and everywhere around his personal space bubble. Levi could feel his pulse tense just a tad, Hange's unnerving gaze and her crippling smile were fixated especially on him, making his nose itchy. There was something very different in the atmosphere around him; Nanaba wasn't eating anymore, she was more fixated on her daughter than anyone else, Erwin was nervously staring between him and you and you and Mike were trying to clean Eli's hands from the food he had just touched. When the scenery wasn't something irregular, none of you dared look eachother in the eyes, beat it that Hange was staring only at him.

"Oi, what the fuck is wrong-"

"Levi, shorty! Does Eli look like he's enjoying himself in (y/n)'s arms?" Hange turned her sweetened gaze on you, making you choke on your words, you shot her an atrociously strict glare. "Remember when Nanaba gave birth? What do you think about babies? Maybe you think they smell a lot? But what about ackerbabies?"

"Way to be discreet Han, thank you!" Your lips puckered in anger as you brought your arms to cross under your chest.

"Wait what's going on shitty glasses?"

"Yada Yada shorty, you're not getting a word from me, my lips are sealed" Hange spoke and shut her eyes to emphasize the significance of her words.

You sighed in a pathetic attempt to relieve some tention of your chest. A tight knot had formed due to anxiety, fog had clouded over your brain and you were feeling so faint and exhausted that you just wanted to get it over with. You didn't mind standing there like a fish out of water after breaking the news to him, the tention in the air was in fact what was making you suffocate in your seat. With wobbly hands you pushed Eli off your lap, not caring about the moan of disagreement he made and you shot up from your seat, announcing you had to take some fresh air. Levi had to stop Nanaba mid tracks to be able to come after you, fast enough to be there when you got out.

Naturally, you stood seated at a bench that neared the restaurant. Your hands were covering your face scratching softly through your hair, probably in attempts to calm your self down. He approached you without any second thought, this time determined to know what was it with you. Your behavior these past week had been unnerving and overly concerning to say the least. Carefully he sat himself down next to you, his right arm come around your frame comfortingly while the left one came to caress underneath your cheek.

"You should probably talk to me."

Your voice came muffled from between your palms as you still hadn't dared to look him in the eye. "Levi, I'm, I'm so sorry it's just... I'm very anxious."

"I think I figured that, brat." His voice was so soothing, it felt as if he was speaking to you in the comfort of your private room, not on a bench outside a semi fancy restaurant

"You know when Hange talked about ackerbabies she uhm, she might have had a particular baby in mind."

Levi blinked erratically for a single second before his mouth, unable to compel to his brain's orders, formed the shape of an oh. Of course, in the moment it was hard to click with any other even but he attributed that to his lack of knowledge over the situation. Had he any clue or suspicion that you could be pregnant he would have been able to realise that it wasn't that your stress had been messing with your stomach every morning and that your extreme fatigue couldn't possible align with the erratically swift rhythm of your palms. Of course, of course it wasn't a thermometer that you had disposed of in the toilet, he wanted to slap himself for being so naive as to believe that. He was strict with recycling rules, you wouldn't have just straight up there s thermometer in the trash. Fuck now's not the time to think about recycling.

With the soft, chaste kiss at the top of your hair you finally decided to turn your gaze to him. Watery eyes met with an adoring grey gaze, a gaze you've never seen at this extreme before. "I love you, you know." Another kiss meant your head got to lift a little more, just to get closer to him. "I don't say it often but you don't have to worry, I'll try to tell our kid more often."

Your eyes shimmered with adoration at his words, despite the cold weather you couldn't bring yourself to feel not even a little tingle, Levi was keeping you so warm with his words. "Really? You want this?"

"Tch why wouldn't I, you thought I'd ever let you go and leave me lonely? I've always thought you knew we're sharing the same future."

Your lips attacked his in fiery passion. It was a natural reaction to his words, an ice melting kiss, a promise for the future. There were many reasons as to why you lived Levi but maybe the fact that you would have a little stoic faced baby running around your feet made you love him a little bit more.

[jitterbugjive]

Something I wish more people would understand is how unhealthy and misguided I was in my early 20s. I came out of a life of mental and sexual abuse, for a bit I had a much older boyfriend than me that I didn’t realize until fairly recently was grooming me since I was 14. I was a hyper sexual teenager due to the exposure I had in childhood and I sought people out constantly to ERP with, even adults, without really thinking anything was wrong with that. I had an old friend who started running away from home to look for random adult men to sleep with so my understanding and feelings towards that kind of situation got all twisted and confused and I didn’t know how to help my friend. I had another friend who was pulled in to a 3 way by another minor and an adult, and the other minor was also the sort who actively looked for adult men who would be sick enough to sleep with her. And my best friend had a sister who was also exhibiting this behavior despite my friends’ many protests, because their mom didn’t give a single fuck about anything. I had an older babysitter, by older I mean in his 60s, who would bring up conversations about sex with me and show me porn on TV from when  I was 10-13. I was dealing with unchecked PTSD which made me overly reactive, prone to fits of anger and anxiety.

My point is, back then I didn’t have any kind of professional help or anywhere I could go for answers on things I didn’t understand or had a limited understanding of. When I ask the question ‘what do you do if a kid is seeking out adult sexual attention’ it’s not because I’m trying to blame kids for this, it’s because it scares me when kids are unknowingly, maybe even knowingly, exposing themselves to danger for whatever screwed up reason they may have. And no one wants to talk about that kind of situation, so I couldn’t find any answers. I couldn’t find an appropriate way to process my feelings on the matter, my understanding of it, the way I viewed it, I couldn’t find what the correct way to feel or deal with it was. Again, because no one wants to talk about it. With my naivety and personal experience, I at first held resentment towards kids like that, because I remember being put in danger because of them or they put my friends in danger, and those kids seemed very sure of their choices even when they were perfectly aware it was wrong. One of them I knew, even as an adult, didn’t ever think anything was wrong with what they did, they didn’t come with that regret you hear most people talking about. I regret the way I’ve reacted to these situations and I regret the way I phrased things when I was trying to come to terms with this issue that I’d been honestly traumatized by.

Another thing I didn’t understand in my early 20s was appropriate boundaries, because I wasn’t given appropriate boundaries as a kid I only knew one big basic thing: Don’t do anything sexually explicit with minors.

And when it came to RP, I thought that meant PG13 content was okay. I thought if there was a fade to black, or a time skip, or an implication, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Now, there are literally only 2 instances I can think of where there was any sort of implication of sexual acts between characters with a minor, I still made sure nothing explicit was shown or explored and I was of the impression that I was just letting the other person have fun because that’s what they were in to. And that was a mistake. Not as big of a mistake as it could have been, mind you, but I’d never cross that line. I thought I had a good line drawn in the sand but I didn’t really understand where it was supposed to be. Because if we’re gonna be honest here, looking back I know now even romantic fluff RP between an adult and a minor isn’t okay, even if it’s through characters and not as ourselves.

I know now how much of an emotional impact RP can have on a person, considering most of my romantic relationships started with RP. When you have a character you deeply connect to interacting with someone else’s character, it’s really easy to start mistaking your character’s feelings for your own. You could believe because your characters get along so well that maybe the two of you can get along romantically too. I’m not saying that RP shouldn’t lead to romance, but that it can easily blind a person from how their RP partner really is. So it’s dangerous to RP with kids like this. I should know, my abusive ex that groomed me until I turned 18 in order to date me certainly had me convinced we were meant for each other just because our characters clicked and my character happened to be a representation of myself.

Something I’m really ashamed to admit as well is a serious misjudgement on my part, where for some reason I assumed bodily fluids weren’t NSFW. Probably because I’ve seen people get away with censoring out naughty bits but leaving the spunk in an image, or just drawing the character with spunk on them or something. Point is, people were getting away with it not being flagged as porn, and my dumb brain was like ‘okay so it’s not that bad’. I need to make something clear here, I don’t entirely remember what happened or why it happened, but it’s true that Bedeviled Derpy had a post that showed spunk in 2 of the images and it was drawn from some sketches of mine by a teenager. I don’t believe I would have requested such a thing, I certainly didn’t script it to say ‘draw spunk here’, in fact the sketches don’t show any indication of a mess anywhere. I just remember being given the finished images with the spunk being added, and I was dumb enough to think “oh yeah this is totally okay for a SFW blog” and my brain didn’t even register like ‘hello yes a child drew this maybe ask them to remove the spunk also spunk isn’t sfw or child friendly in any way shape or form’

Some people, maybe only a handful, or more, I don’t know, but some people have this assumption that my mindset in all of this was like “Hahaha I’m taking advantage of a minor” and that’s just... not it?

I’m a colossal dumbass, I admit that, and I was really irresponsible, but it was NOT because I had any intentions on preying on a child. I just don’t do that.

The things I said and did, I did out of ignorance, and most of the bad stuff people talk about me saying was from 5+ years ago, before I got any help, before I had anyone to walk me through these incredibly complex emotions and opinions that were ingrained in my head since childhood.

I just wish that people could see I had no malice or ill intent, I wish people could realize they’re way overthinking my actions and taking things a lot more personally than they were ever meant to be. Maybe if they could see this for what it is rather than assuming I’m a villain who purposefully did everything wrong, they could learn to move on in a healthy way.

I understand I did a lot of harm and there’s no undoing that.

But I do NOT deserve to be accused of pedophilia. Pedophilia has literally ruined my life and my perception of the world. I’m a victim too, and just because I became an adult doesn’t mean I suddenly know right from wrong. That’s not how becoming an adult works. You’re allowed to make mistakes as an adult, being an adult doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes any more. Yes it’s easier to say to someone ‘you were just a kid, it was a mistake, you didn’t know any better’, but adults have a hard time knowing ‘any better’ too. We’re always growing and learning and I’d like to think people are smart enough to see that I have grown in to a better person.

I hope people can find it in their hearts to forgive me, but I fear some people are too far gone down the rabbit hole of being convinced that everything was on purpose and from malice, that I’m some evil mastermind who thrives on manipulation and taking advantage of kids. I’ve only ever associated with 2 minors since becoming an adult and I have no intention of associating with any more that aren’t directly connected to my family or my friends.

Anyone who actually knows me would know I have a 0 tolerance for IRL pedophilia, when I found out a member of one of my groups was showing nudes to minors he was immediately kicked out and I kept tabs on the situation to make sure he’d be caught by police. When a member in my server was exposed for ERP and orbiting with a minor, I kicked him out too.

I worry about kids to a point that it’s part of my PTSD, I have anxiety attacks just worrying about how a kid might be getting harmed, the last thing I want to do is bring harm to them.

And I did cause harm, I didn’t know that was what I was doing, but I did, because I wasn’t mature enough to understand how to interact with kids as an adult. And again, I’m just incredibly sorry things had to even come to this. I’m not lying when I say I think about this every single day, and sometimes spiral in to really bad anxiety because of it. It affects me heavily.

I want to move on.

And I want the people affected to move on too.

Because dwelling on this isn’t going to do anyone any good.

[sword-brainrot]

hENLO ITS ME AGAIN SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, THE HEADCANONS YOU MADE WERE BEAUTIFUL IM ACTUALLY SOBBING GIJGUIHDUGH. anyway its time to go apeshit, it angsty time. Lets say the saniwa is a self-sacrificing type of person and took a hit for someone during battle and is in critical condition (THEY FINE ITS OK THEY RECOVER) how would hasebe, kashuu (romantic), and sayo (platonic) react? seperate of course dearie~! THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU <3<3<3

Heshikiri Hasebe,  Kashuu Kiyomitsu, and Sayo Samonji Reaction to a self-sacrificing Reader (GN Reader)

♡  It wasn't too common for their master to go into battle with them but sometimes the mission calls for it. This being the case. It was an understanding situation but stressful nonetheless. Hordes of enemies swarming the group of swords and their master. Everyone was holding them off while you were going to break the charm on the shrine... But things didn't go exactly as planned.

♡  You hear a loud yell as one of your precious swords, Hasebe, mutters the words he normally does when he gets a severe injury. "It's not over until I die!" His hand gripping his blade and blood flows out of his wounds and onto the cold, hard ground. The enemies seem to notice that the poor sword no longer had any troops on him and one more shot could easily knock him down. More begin to pile over to him, ready to finish him off.

♡  Frantic hammering of your heart in your ears overtook your senses as you sprinted towards him. You could also come back to this time in history to save the shrine but you couldn't get back your sword that you grew to love. Even if you resmithed him, he wouldn't remember you or the memories you share. You can't leave the sword that made you so happy. So your legs carried you until you were right in front of the badly wounded man.

♡  His expression contorted into one of pure terror when he saw you were the one that ran to his aid. Why... Why did it have to be you? Why would you put yourself in such danger for a sword like him?

♡  "Get away from me!” His words fell to deaf ears as you dashed in front of him, and released a crystal colored barrier in front of you both. You were sure that it would hold off the enemies that were hammering against it. You saved him. You were sure. You just had to hold them off until the other swords could rush over and help you two.

♡  Everything was going smoothly until you heard the words that would stay with you forever.

♡  "NAGAE YARI IN FRONT."

♡  Just like that, the Kebiishi lunged forward with it's spear, crushing your barrier and impaling you in all but one strike. White sparkles that was once a shield now floating up into the sky and disappearing as you fell to your knees, clasping the spear in your gut. When did the Kebiishi get here...? Were you their target all along because you were also messing with history? How did this go so wrong...?

♡  Hasebe’s entire body was wracked by sobs as you lay curled in a ball on the ground, writhing around in utter agony. His own injured body slowly hobbling over to your and grasping you tightly. His tears falling down and painting your cheek. The Kebiishi had already pulled out their spear and went looking for more healthy targets to take down.

♡  The pain was too much to bare. All you could do was stare up at the sword that looked so broken.

♡  “You can't leave,” Hasebe whimpered in the highest tone you’ve ever heard from him. He sounded like a child with the way his raspy voice cracked. His grip on you was high and you could feel every shake that went through his body as the sobs broke out. "You can't leave... I have just learned how to open up and love again... Don't you dare leave. Don't abandon me."

♡  "It's all my fault... I should of been stronger. I should of taken that hit.. I-... I love you. Don't go." He hiccuped through strained wheezes for air.

♡  Although your vision was spotting and blurring, you could see Hasebe tremble where he sat. His body was rocking the two of you back and forth. He didn't care about what was going on around you. Nothing mattered if you weren't okay. He didn't matter unless you were okay. You made him feel love and appreciated. You reminded him that he was a sword worth having by your side. A man you loved for who he is. If he lost that, he lost everything that mattered to him.

♡  With one final, ragged breath, you closed your eyes and succumbed to your injuries. Hasebe didn’t scream like you thought he would. He watched you drift off to sleep in utter silence, almost holding his breath in hope it wasn't actually happening. The only sound that came from him was sniffing back tears and coughing sporadically.

♡  By the time you awoke, you were in the infirmary of the citadel. Yagen and two swords who were on the mission with you, Tonbokiri and Horikawa Kunihiro, sat by you. Your eyes opening bought smiles to their faces. Horikawa wiping away the happy tears that suddenly rushed out when he finally saw you open your eyes.

♡  Your body ached all over but it was tolerable compared to what you had just faced before. Your abdomen tightly wrapped up. It was Tonbokiri that explained that they were able to get out when a few of them awakened and rushed over, using the charm stone and teleporting back to the citadel. You were rushed to the infirmary right away and you stayed unconscious for three days.

♡  "When you are feeling well enough... I think you should head over to your room. Hasebe locked himself in there and hasn't came out since coming back to the citadel... We haven't been able to get him to eat or even talk to him." Horikawa explained.

♡  When you felt well enough, you adventured over there. Swords stopping you on the way to express how happy to see you up and okay. They expressed how worried they all were when you came back in such a condition.

♡  A series of knocks on the door were greeted with silence. The static sobbing from the room paused for a moment, then resumed.

♡  Taking out a key, you unlocked the door and slowly walked in. You could see Hasebe in total darkness as he held the picture frame of you two to his chest. His body not even turning towards you.

♡  "Don't you dare come into this room only to tell me something I already know. Get out now before I cut you down."

♡  "Hasebe... It's me."

♡  You could see his body visibly tense and stop breathing. Approaching him with caution, you kneeled onto the bed beside him and placed your palm on his cheek. He leaned into your touch, his face stained with tears. One hand releasing the frame and grasping your hand tightly, as if he was scared that if he let you go... You would disappear right then and there.

♡  "It's really you," he would whisper as his violet eyes slowly locked with yours. It was only then he would fully release the frame and instead grab you, embracing you in the tightest hug you have ever experienced. He would only let up when you winced in pain from how tight it was. His body shaking as he bawled his eyes out.

♡  Hasebe pressed chaste kisses all over your face, making sure you knew he loved you no matter how he acted. "Don't ever do something stupid like that again. I will make them all pain for what they did to you. I won't let a single one walk this earth. I will make them feel the pain you felt times a hundred. I will make them beg to-"

♡  "I'm okay, Hasebe." You would calmly say as you stroke his cheek. "You look exhausted though... Come, let us rest for some more. I won't leave your side, not again." You both would settle down and he will gently hold you close to his chest. His red eyes slowly closing and a small smile present on his face knowing that he finally has you back.

♡  It was the Ikedaya incident. The moon was high in the sky and the cold skin gently bit at everyone's cheeks. For normal people of the time, they were not even aware of the killing going on near them. However the swords and their master were aware. They were planning for this event for a while ever since the History Revisionists came to this time in history.

♡  Most of the swords were inside, dealing with enemies to make sure that no one gets to the top of the stairs where Okita, Kashuu's and Yasusada's, was to meet his end. It was there you stood, at the stop of the stairs, stealing off the door to make extra sure that only people of that time could enter.

♡  Everything was going well... Until you felt the charm on your sash dissipate. You had only given it to one sword... The one sword that was not in the building... The one who was directly involved with this incident... The one sword that claimed that he rather not be muddied with Okita's blood again instead of saying how he didn't want to witness his master and his old sword self die again. The one sword that stolen your heart, Kashuu Kiyomitsu.

♡  You quickly finished the barrier before hearing a yelp as you ran down the stairs, jumping over the last few. Your legs pumped as you quickly dodged enemies and tried to make your way outside where Kashuu was surrounded by enemies. Your skin crawled as you saw Kashuu barely be able to stand and the enemies, with their ruthless gaze, advancing on him.

♡  "Uwa!? Heavy damage...!?" Kashuu managed to rasp as the enemy slammed into him and brought him to the ground. One more hit and surely he would be broken. You could hear the pain in his voice even though he tried to mask it. His body trembling as he was slowly coming to terms that this night was a cursed night for him. No matter if he was human or sword... He dies constantly on this day in history.

♡  He was in danger and didn't have much time left. You quickly took out your ofuda charms from your poach as you called for help to the swords still inside the building, dealing with enemies. It didn't take long before two of them came out but by that time, you were already gone.

♡  You had already run off into the crowd, tagging as many enemies as you could. The tags slowly melting them and making them transform into black dust... But there was far too many for you to handle by yourself. You just had to make it to Kashuu. You just had to make sure he was safe...

♡  "You idiot! Get out of here." Kashuu screamed as he noticed you were trying to make yourself through the crowd to him, all by yourself. You ignored his cries and slid to the side, dodging one of enemy’s strikes.

♡  All things considered, you were able to dodge all the swings coming your way. You were doing well! You just had to make it to him and cast a barrier over the you of you and-

♡  A sword was brought down right as you were about to dodge and landed right against your back. The impact brought you to your knees, only a couple feet away from your lover. Blood pooled underneath you and you gritted your teeth, the pain overriding your senses and bringing tears to your eyes.

♡  You clutched your fists, wincing as crimson bloomed on your shirt. Panic hadn’t filled your veins yet.

♡  Your eyes snapped up to meet Kashuu’s as the enemies loomed over the two of you, ready to finish you off. . Anxiety began to set in, your movements growing more sloppy as you desperately tried to crawl over to your lover. Kashuu slowly reaching for you as well.

♡  "Stop moving, idiot. Just take deep breaths, all right? Just look at me. You're going to be okay... I won't let anything happen to you."

♡  You felt your body grow numb as you lost more blood. You could no longer feel the cold ground under you or the wind brushing against your face. To you, everything was cold. You scooched closer to Kashuu and extended a hand. Though still far apart, he grasped it back and squeezed tightly so you knew he was there. "Kashuu... I'm cold."

♡  “You’re gonna be fine.” He was lying through his teeth. Kashuu could see the glassy look in your eyes. The hand quivered in his, he could feel the life draining from it. Your voice wasn’t a comfort to him anymore, every word you spoke was full of agony and he wished you would stay quiet as to not worry him more.

♡  His own hand was shaking. This night was truly a cursed one. The past him was taken to this place to watch his master die and get covered in his blood only to break in battle. Now he held onto his bleeding out master/lover and couldn't do anything to stop them from slowly fading from consciousness. His lover was bleeding out in front of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do. He tried so desperately to hide the fear from his face, but a single tear slid down his cheek and his expression sunk when he felt you begin to fade away. The last thing you heard as your eyes began to close was Kashuu screaming at the top of his lungs your name.

♡  You were awoken by the sound of someone rushing to your side. Bright light blinding you as your eyes slowly adjusted and you were met with a familiar sight. The infirmary room that you often went in to visit your precious swords and your boyfriend, Kashuu. His own body had be bandaged up and he met you will a smile. "Good morning, sleep well?"

♡  "What happened?" Your voice faint and raspy as you slowly sat up, your back stinging you along the way. But with the help of Kashuu, you were able to fully sit up and get handed water to help your very dry throat.

♡  "Before I answer that... Let's get you cleaned up. As much as I love you, you're a mess." He would give you a teasing grin as he helps you stand. Leading you over to where he can draw a bubble bath for you so you can wash and clean yourself.

♡  He would sit on the side and help you clean up, making sure to extra careful of your back and making sure to massage your scalp as he washes.

♡  "Yesterday... Don't do that again. You know how I feel about Okita's death. I don't need that happening to you. I don't want to lose another person I care about. This citadel needs you so don't go running into a crowd of enemies for just one sword and almost getting yourself killed. You're lucky Hyuuga and Akashi arrived on time or else we would of both vanished from existence."  His hands maneuvered around your body with precision and care as he washed away all of the dirt and dust that marred your skin.

♡  "You're important too, you know." You replied as you leaned into his touch, "I didn't go into danger for nothing. I went into it because of you. I don't want to lose you as much as you don't want to lose me. So next time... When you are in trouble, call for us. I will come running for you right away."

♡  This hands will stop moving and he would laugh from the pit of his stomach. This causing you to turn to face him. Small droplets of tears appearing out the side of his eyes as his laughter calmed down. "You act like if I break, I won't fall for you all over again. You can get me back but I can't get you back. So don't ever try that again, stupid." He would finish off the conversation with him leaning in and pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.

♡  Labored breaths escaped you as you ran in the dark forest. The stems of the tree sprouting from the ground to constantly trip you up... and it was working. You constantly found yourself tripping and having to push yourself off things to keep going. You couldn't stop... They were gaining on you.

♡  This all started when you went undercover to gain information on what was changing in this time in history. It was suppose to be safe! You were suppose to get information while the boys left and dealt with the History Revisionists. It was a trap... They wanted you all along.

♡  You had signaled to them that the enemy was by you before you began your big chase. There had been no sight of them and your legs were beginning to burn. Tripping became more constant and you can hear them getting closer and closer. There was many of them... More than you could handle by yourself.

♡  Your luck was beginning to run out until one last stem tripped you and sent you to your knees. Your ankle shooting pain up your leg when you tried to move it. Fear painted on your face as you looked behind you and saw the glowing eyes in the dark. The blades gleaming from the small sunlight between the branches. Your luck had run out.

♡  Your held your ankle tightly as the enemies rose their blades towards you, ready to end you here and now. Your eyes shut tightly as you awaited for your final breath to come... But it didn't. Instead you heard pains of agony. When you finally found the courage to open your eyes, you saw Sayo standing in front of you with his dagger in hand. Holding off the enemies. He must of been the only sword to be quick enough to make it in time.

♡  As much as you wished to be happy to see your precious sword... There was far too many of them. Too many for one tantou risking his everything to protect his precious master. The both of them were well aware. Maybe if Sayo could hold off until that others get there, everything will be alright!

♡  That was the hopeful thought until a tantou enemy got the sneak attack on him and he received a critically blow. His body crumbling to the ground in front of you as he muttered, "I understand... I don't care how things will turn out...!" His blue eyes glaring at the horde of enemies in front of you two. His body dragging himself upward, planning to protect you to his death.

♡  However, you had another plan. You weren't going to just sit there and let him die for you. He has come so far on his journey of accepting himself, you weren't going to let these monsters take that away from him.

♡  Right as the blade was began to come down and finish him off, you embraced him and turned your body so you would take all of the impact rather than him. Sharp yelp was released from your vocal cords as you held onto the short sword and protected him from the pain.

♡  Sayo couldn't believe his eyes, he stood there tense and wide eyed. "M-Master...?" His voice had always been on the quiet side but this voice sounded scared and barely escaping from his tensed throat. "Why would you..."

♡  "Sayo, you have... So much to live for. You are so much greater than you give yourself credit for. I am proud of you every day, so don't throw yourself away... You are more than the revenge that haunts your heart."

♡  His lips trembled and tears streaked down his cheeks as he held your body that was going limp in his arms. "Don't leave! I don't want to be left alone again. Please don't leave me, aruji!" He would scream at the top of his lungs, shaking you and trying to get you to wake up... But sleep whispered into your ears and sent you into darkness.

♡  Before you even opened your eyes, you could feel pressure on your hand... Were you asleep on it again? Slowly opening your eyes and blinking to adjusted to your surrounding made you realize that you weren't in your bed in your room... but rather the infirmary. Your body was bandaged all over and the memories of what happened in the forest returned to you. The team must of got to you in time before you completely vanished from existence... But what of Sayo then?

♡  Your body jolted up against the pain that was attempting to hold you down. Anxiety rushing through your veins, preparing to look sight of any clue of what happened to the small tantou after you passed out.

♡  Your search didn't last long, for the pressure on your hand slowly shifted and caused your eyes to wandered down to the boy who was clasping your hand tightly as he slumbered. A smile slowly rose itself on your face as your free hand gently stroked his hair. It seemed as he hadn't left your side since recently. It warmed your heart that a sword that often times was very antisocial treasured you so much that he didn't want to leave your side.

♡  "D-Don't leave me." A small whimper of a cry would come out as he tightened his grip on your hand. His shoulder shaking ever so lightly. The fear of losing the people he cares about haunting him even in the dream realm. The fear of his masters being killed in front of him and being stolen piecing him in his heart to leave scars to all of time.

♡  "I won't leave." You soothed, "I'm right here, Sayo. I'm so proud of you. I won't ever leave your side again. I promise you. Now rest well, dear. You needn't worry any longer. I swear to you for all eternity, I will remain right here." A small smile will be barely visible as he leans into your hand and his body slowly calms down before he find a peaceful sleep at last.

[yan-twst]

Hi can i request yandere savanaclaw and pomefiore when their s/o finally succumbs to stockholm syndrome? Good luck with your writing!

warnings: general yandere content, vague mentions of physical abuse, toxic relationships, drug use

leona kingscholar

cats enjoy to play with their food, but leona won’t deny it’s just nice to finally have some peace and quiet with his darling

as much fun as it was when they were so jumpy and finicky, as much as he enjoyed watching the light in their eyes die out in panic, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t get tiring after a while

leona relishes in the meek affection, months and months of being terrorized and threatened by someone as powerful as leona has taught them to be nice and obedient, and leona fully enjoys the attention

he can nap safely, knowing they won’t dare move from their spot held into his chest. before, they might have thought they could run- take advantage of his sleeping- but they know better now, don’t they?

he’s their king. he’s their everything, really. leona isn’t a very mushy guy, but when he’s holding his little herbivore in his arms... he feels a sense of future. they’re his; he’ll decide their fate, he’ll be their one and only

leona doesn’t talk a lot about it, but he’s already decided his darling will be a stay-at-home spouse. he may not have a solid idea of what his future with them looks like, but he knows for sure it’ll be pleasant for him

 he’s shaped his darling into a perfect, subservient partner. he adores being pampered- love, he wants to be loved, he’s spent so long being unwanted and feared and hated he needs to be loved show him he’s wanted assure him he’s their  king- and he’ll make his darling hold him as he sleeps

leona thoroughly relishes in his darling as they cling to him, forgetting their past life before being kidnapped. sure, he sometimes misses their spunk, the way they{d act before; but he much prefers the way they stick to him now, reassure him they won’t ever run, to please keep them around

ruggie bucci

ruggie has spent the entirety of the “relationship” groveling and vying for attention and affection from his darling

oh, sure, he found their defiance beautiful before. he found their fear and their tears beautiful, too. but really, ruggie just wants them to be his

yes, entirely, purely his. ruggie needs something to call his own: not the clothes he got as hand-me-downs he’ll have to hand down, not the cash he gives to his grandma and to the kids in his street- his darling is entirely his, and the fact they understand this makes him ecstatic

they’re broken? stockholm’s? oh, who cares? everything is perfect now, so does it really matter the process it took to get here?

ruggie relishes in returning from work to his darling, embracing them, nuzzling into their chest, facing no resistance. 

it’s such a relief they aren’t trying to run away, really; buying locks and fixing the doors and windows isn’t cheap. they didn’t understand he was working hard for their future together, but it’s fine now, because they understand now, right? right?

seeing they’ve completely given up on running away or going home, ruggie relaxes- and by that i mean he takes on more jobs

it pains him to be away from his darling, especially when they beg for him to stay- perhaps he should’ve been more careful, breaking his previously normal and strong darling into a clingy and meek lover- but in his brain, it just makes sense. he needs to provide for his lover, right? 

because in ruggie’s brain, he’s got it all planned out. he’s getting out of the slums and building the perfect life with his darling, of course- he doesn’t want them to work a day of their life, he wants their life to be picture perfect, as he works to provide a nice life. isn’t that all they need, really?

jack howl

jack is... torn

he’s been justifying his actions as “protection”- this is just his instinct to protect his mate, his instinct to protect his partner, it’s normal, he’s normal- but he knows it’s... wrong.

it terrifies him when he notices his darling stop fighting back. it terrifies him when the fear in their eyes is replaced with love, to see how they’re suddenly so dependent on him

oh, don’t get him wrong, he loves it. he relishes in the affection, in how they seek him out; they patiently sit in his room, ask to accompany him in his early morning jogs just to spend some time with him, care for his plants when he’s gone; they act almost as if they were there of his own will

and perhaps that’s why the other, rational side of him is terrified. they shouldn’t be so comfortable with him, not after all he’s done. oh, don’t get him wrong, he’d never push them away, he’d never let them go; even if they’ve stopped trying to run, he won’t leave the doors unlocked, but the mere fact they don’t even think to try is...

... he’s broken them, for sure. it has to be. 

and yet he can’t bring himself to feel bad. wolves only love one person, their one and only mate. perhaps this is fate- they’re his one and only, maybe they’ve realized that. that there’s nobody else for them, that they’re meant to be with him

jack worries, still. this is fine, it is- he adores it, he relishes in it, but how far can it go...? he’ll have moments when he panics; is this love or a way his darling is coping with his actions? he’ll hold them, requesting they assure him; they love him, they really love him, right?

vil schoenheit

... by the time vil realizes his darling’s succumbed to stockholm syndrome, they’re in deep.

because vil makes a habit of slipping love potions to his darling to keep them docile and affectionate, he’ll write up their behaviour to the potions- perhaps their body has become used to them...? some sort of new reaction to the usual formula? 

it’s when vil realizes the potion should’ve worn off but his darling isn’t kicking and crying or trembling that it hits him- something has changed

of course, it’s not the same. a love potion turns his darling into a malleable, meek, almost delirious doll- but his darling off the potion is usually... well, they usually fight back, scream and cry; they’re ungrateful, trying to escape vil’s care

but they... aren’t doing that, despite vil knowing the potion should have worn off hours ago

they’re quiet, looking at vil as if waiting for instructions; they play with the edge of their shirt

vil is almost overwhelmed. this is- this is all he’s wanted. this is how it should have been from day one. 

he might not lay off the love potions; he doesn’t trust this “moment of clarity” as he calls it; he fears that one day his darling will return to their fear, to their shaking, trying to escape

but as time goes on, he learns that something has changed. at night, they cuddle up to him voluntarily, they let him dress them up, take care of them; and they only seem to worry about making him happy and meeting his expectations

it’s a turning point for vil. he’s been using love potions and other substances to keep his darling pliant- they have so much potential but just wouldn’t let him polish them- but now they are putty in his hands, trying so hard to meet his expectations, to earn his attention...

vil will tighten the leash. if they’re now reaching for affection and approval, he’ll play with the carrot and stick- slowly shaping them more and more into his ideal lover, rewarding their good actions with the affection and praise their isolated and broken spirit craves so much, and punishing all actions he deems “unsightly”

oh sure, his actions have already changed his darling beyond belief, but it’s not enough. vil will keep pushing, pushing and pushing- perhaps until something breaks

rook hunt

when an animal is hurt enough, it gives up; it stops running away, lies down to bleed to death or to be captured by its predator. that’s how he sees the situation; the “hunting” period is over, his darling’s given up

he can’t say it surprises him. all humans must have limits- being stalked, then kidnapped, being caught again and again, he understands how that must whittle down someone... oh, but it was all born from love, so it’s all ok, isn’t it?

indeed, this is just the next step in the relationship

his darling might not be running or jumping at shadows anymore, but rook is a lover of all love languages. he’ll gladly accept the physical affection that comes with his darling’s broken spirit

affectionate as always, rook doesn’t seem to care at all that his darling’s state is anything but natural. it’s almost something out of a romance book, the way they’ve come around, isn’t it?

because much of their time was spent fearing rook, running from him, being hurt as punishment, they’ve learnt to associate all these things with him. when they’re scared they call for him, they associate being chased with being loved, being hurt with affection. rook has perhaps used pavlovian conditioning to turn his darling into someone who couldn’t possibly survive outside of his care

a domestic animal cannot survive in the wild, rook knows this. and when he looks at his darling, who has become so used to their life locked inside, vying for their captor’s attention, sleeping so peacefully in his bed, he’s more sure than ever they belong nowhere outside of his sight

epel felmier

epel is a bit shocked, but he takes the situation with open arms

the one thing he wants the most is to be seen as strong, reliable, manly. he wants his darling to see him as everything he wants to be seen as, he wants to eliminate the image of him being “weak” or “fragile” from their mind

he often takes out his frustrations of being perceived in such ways onto them, too. he knows it’s not their fault per se, but god, it’s frustrating, and it’s not like he has many chances to let go off steam in a healthy way

on one hand, it’s a bit bittersweet. as much as he hates to say it, seeing his darling be scared of him gave him... some sort of power rush. oh, it made him feel so powerful, it really did, when he’d raise his voice and they’d flinch, when he’d grab them by the neck of the shirt when he was particularly pissed and they’d tense up. it’s wrong and fucked up- but it made him feel like he was the world’s most threatening man in his darling’s eyes

but well, having his darling settle into the “relationship” is also quite nice. he’s grown up seeing quiet, traditional marriages all through his childhood- he feels like he’s finally like those strong men who come back to their spouse each day, back to a loving partner who greets him with a smile and a kiss (and then he unlocks the chain around their ankle, and he praises them for not tugging at it, he can tell because there’s no friction burns, he’s so proud of them)

besides, just because his darling’s given up on escape, has somehow settled into a sort of fucked up routine, doesn’t mean epel is just magically fixing all the problems. he’s the problem- the way he loves, the way his heart tells him to take, take, take, to be reassured, to be in power- but they learn to try and rationalize it

it’s love, right? it- it has to be love, yes. epel is sweet. epel is nice. epel is sweet and nice and strong and he’s only doing what’s needed. epel isn’t horrible he isn’t a monster no how could they ever think that no he doesn’t hurt them he would never make them scared on purpose- it’s almost painful to watch his darling rationalize their captor’s behaviour, to relish the days epel carves apples for them and handfeeds them, to try and justify the days he ignores them and threatens them because he’s been pushed to the limit by vil

[c-is-for-circinate]

Y’all this episode had everything I could possibly have wanted and things I never even knew to wish for.

How did one episode start with Henry Crabgrass, the most glorious and beloved NPC of my heart, and end with mother fucking Avantika, with so much awesome shit in between!!!  How!!!

Okay I am making a list of shit I absolutely loved tonight, in approximate chronological order:

Y’all I just love Henry Crabgrass so much.  I don’t even have smart things to say about that fact, just a warm glow in my heart.  May all the light of Melora’s grace smile down upon them and leave Henry as the toughest, most unkillable patch of crabgrass in all Exandria.

Vess and the Tombtakers, so many questions and so few certain answers, so many things to wonder, so many dots to connect!  I really do feel like the crew are connecting them at this point, and while I’m sure in some places they’re far from the map, the general outline really is starting to emerge.  What, exactly, was in the book the Tombtakers tried to claim without showing it to Vess deRogna first?  What did it do to Lucien?  And, if Vess has the book--what are they trying to find now?

So okay, let’s talk about Yasha and Beau. As someone who has had a lot of feelings about the intense relatability of Beau’s crush on Jester, I have now fully committed to also having a whole lot of mostly new feelings about these terrible awkward disaster lesbians with no fucking idea what they’re doing.  I saw a post the other day mention how this whole relationship is about the feeling of discovering you can have this, that you can actually be happy, that you get to have this kind of relationship with someone.  I’ve written about that.  And I feel it so, so hard, every time I see them interact, when every bit of bravado leaves both of them. It’s so easy to be off-putting!  It’s so easy to have crushes on wonderful people you kind of wish would look at you but you’re absolutely sure never will.  It’s so hard to actually know what the fuck to do in the face of wait shit this might actually be a thing I could get for real? how? wait, how???

Also let’s talk about Jester in that scene, who ships Beauyasha harder than anything in the world???   Because yes, right, some of it is just that Jester loves romance, and some of it’s that Jester gets very invested in the happiness of her friends, but that is a lot of investment there.  And I can’t help wondering if there’s a little dimension of...she wants to see True Love and Happily-Ever-After work.  And she’s delighted to see it work for her friends who she loves, and when it comes true they’ll be happy and she loves that, but also I don’t know that Jester’s ever actually seen two people fall in love with each other and enter into a healthy, happy relationship before.  But hey, all of her books say this wonderful magical thing exists, and now it seems to actually be showing up for her friends?  Of course she wants to see it.  Of course she wants it to be just as magical and wonderful as in all her stories, even if it’s not for her. (And maybe especially if it’s not for her, but I think that’s a whole separate post about Jester and her very high passive insight and all the people who are in love with her and the very specific ways she treats each of them.)

I love Yeza.  Don’t we all love Yeza?  He’s trying so hard.  It’s always great to see Yeza for that kind of wide-eyed outsider POV on the M9 shenanigans, and I love it.  He made a comment this episode about meeting goblins while living in Rosohna, and everything that’s happened to him really hit me in a while new way.  Usually I think about how he’s had his life turned upside down by all of this, but man, just think how much he’s seen that he never in a million years would have begun to expect to experience!  This smalltown alchemist from a pastoral little farming city in the middle of the Dwendalian midwest has lived for a significant amount of time as a housekeeper in the capitol city of the Krynn Dynasty.  He must have gone to the markets and met the neighbors and learned the streets and the food, and who had he ever known in his whole life who could say such a thing?  He lived with the Ruby of the Sea in Nicodranas by the ocean.  He’s been to Zadash, now, and it’s only a matter of time before he sees Rexxentrum.  How much farther will he go?  (Man, I would love some good Yeza fic once this campaign is over.  I think it’s going to take that long for me to really know how his story arc ends.)

Someone was posting earlier this episode about witnessing Vess scare Yeza so badly, and insight into how the Nein are starting to run in circles that really outstrip the people they used to know.  Watching Pumat in the wake of being Informed By Lady de Rogna That He Would Put A Rush On That has really hammered it home.  They remarked, in their very M9 somewhat idle vaguely ridiculous way that they wanted the icebreaker, and one tiny snowman later Vess had pulled rank and money and rerouted the ship’s entire passage for them.  She’s scary--and with her, the M9 have the kind of power that’s scary, too. And that’s always such an interesting moment.  The M9 are used to thinking of themselves as people with very little, who have to fight and scrap and get lucky for their own survival all the time.  And yes, they’re utterly careless with money--why not be, when it comes and goes and almost none of them have ever really seen it help or last?  And yes, they’re prone to violence and sometimes pretty rude.  But before now, it’s always been a situation where the M9 acting loud, rude, and demanding could be chaotic underdogs scrapping to get what they needed or wanted from people who had the option of saying no.  Suddenly they’re in a position where the balance of social situations is biased in their favor instead of against them. There’s such a difference between ‘please accede to my unreasonable request because I have a high charisma and will pay you lots of gold’, and, ‘you’re going to accede to my unreasonable request because otherwise my Cerberus Assembly boss may or may not have you assassinated’.  The M9 have never been on this side of that before.  I’m very curious to see how much they notice that they are now.

PALADIN OATH PALADIN OATH PALADIN OATH!  I was not paying nearly enough attention when that scene started, so I am going to need to watch it again and also make extra sure to read any available source material on this specific homebrew oath, because it’s probably not exactly the same as the Oath of the Sea homebrew you can find on google.  There’s some overlap between the abilities there and the ones Fjord already have, and the vows don’t quite match up, though some of them are close.  Ugh, mostly I’m just so glad it has happened and Fjord has promised and he means it, he means it so much.  He rest-of-his-life means it, and my heart belongs to Fjord who couldn’t even imagine the rest of his life as a thing separate from the monotony of his first thirty years, so very recently.

I actually always really love when CR has episodes at sea?  Obviously the M9 have done it the most, but Vox Machina went sailing a time or two as well, and it’s just always so great.  It’s often days of down time in a way that overland travel isn’t, and the party fills it with so many good little moments.  Matt always gives them such cool encounters.  On boats, spending a week at a time getting from one place to another, so much of the chaos of rewriting a plan seventeen times in an hour gets stripped away: they’re headed towards a destination, sometimes something comes up to deter them, and they have to find a way to deal with it.  There are always crew members and the structure of a boat itself to take into consideration in any combat that pops up.  It’s just such a nice tone, and I also love that the ocean itself kind of hates them now because it adds really delightful additional risks, and anyway heck yeah ocean voyage.

WHICH ENDS IN UNDEAD AVANTIKA ATTACKING THE SHIP WITH A TRIO OF CRAB-MEN AND WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE HOLY FUCK.  Look, I think M9 becoming pirates by accident and then trying to figure out wtf might actually be my favorite arc of this campaign so far, and every time it comes back I get so so happy.  I’ve got some feelings about this showing up in the same episode as Fjord finally taking his full oath to the Wildmother. They are going to have to kill U’kotoa before this campaign is through.  They are going to have to, because Fjord will never be safe on the ocean again if they don’t, and Fjord has bound himself by vow and will in service as the Wildmother’s paladin of the open sea.  She hasn’t asked it of him, not specifically, but it’s his job.  It’s going to be his job.  In part it’ll be because it’s poetic justice, Fjord taking down the cruel demigod who (in some ways) made him.  Mostly it’s just that killing U’kotoa is a job that needs to be done.  To protect the oceans, the life they hold, the people who sail upon them, it’s going to need to be done.  It’s Melora’s domain to do this, which means it’s her paladin’s job, and Fjord is her paladin of the sea.  It’ll be him sooner or later.

I am so fucking delighted at the massive pile of fireworks on the deck of this ship, and I hope to god these Chekhovian bottle rockets go off before the end of this combat encounter, because this is, in fact, all I ever wanted the minute Beau put them in there.

[jothzuko]

To Chip Away

Read on AO3

Summary: Suki's spent a lot of time excelling at acting like she's fine. She's a leader; it comes with the territory, and pretending to be fine after escaping the Boiling Rock is just the next logical step. They've all got bigger problems, anyway. Still, it turns out she's not fooling Sokka quite as well as she'd hoped.

It takes Sokka a while to notice Suki’s gone, which he’d prefer to attribute to her stealth skills rather than his own failings. He’s let his guard down a little at the Air Temple, has stopped mentally doing headcounts every couple minutes, although he maybe should resume those with the way people keep disappearing on them (if he and Zuko had been the last ones missing, surely they could be forgiven, since they’d come back with more people than they’d left with).

Either way, he’s halfway through talking to his dad when he looks around at some point and realizes she’s not with the group. “Did you see Suki leave?”

Hakoda takes a second to catch up with the sudden about-face in the conversation, but then he says, “Don’t think so. She can’t have gone far, though, the flying bison’s still here.”

“He has a name, Dad. Did you forget Appa’s name?”

“There have been quite a few new names to keep track of, and aren’t you trying to find your girlfriend?”

Sokka nods. “I’ll be back, I still wanna hear about Kallik spitting on Fire Nation troops.”

“That’s pretty much the whole story,” Hakoda says, but Sokka’s already up and heading off to find Suki.

His dad had been right, there weren’t a lot of places she could’ve gone without some serious climbing, and only a few were out of view from the space where they’d set up camp. There’s a ledge, though, high enough up the cliffside trail that someone could remain unseen, and that seems like as good a guess as any. He follows the path up, sticking close to the cliff wall and, spirits, he’s not particularly afraid of heights, but he still wishes the Air Nomads had built these paths a little wider. Not that they’d needed them, of course, but it would’ve been nice.

He crests the hill, only a little winded, and finds her there with her back to him, staring off into the distance. She doesn’t seem to hear him at first, so he kicks a pebble against the rock face because startling someone on a mountain ledge doesn’t seem like the world’s best idea.

She turns at the noise, already on high alert, and then she relaxes. “Sokka.”

“Hey.” Sokka comes to sit next to her, swinging his legs over the side of the ledge and ignoring just how nervous that makes him. Like with the paths, there’s fear of heights, and there’s a much more reasonable fear of falling miles to your death, and he’s not really ashamed to say he has a healthy dose of the latter. “Just came to check on you. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Of course I am.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“I’m fine,” she says, the words a little razor-edged.

But if Sokka doesn’t press, no one else is going to, and it seems like someone needs to. “You were in prison.”

“And now I’m not in prison. So I’m fine.” She’s trying hard enough to be convincing that Sokka almost gives up and believes her, except that he remembers holding her, kneeling on the floor of that cell, her breath catching in her throat and her tears soaking the shoulder of his stolen guard uniform. That, and the fact that she’s out here alone in the first place.

“Alright, fine. I won’t keep bothering you about it, I just… I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep it to yourself, you know?”

“I don’t,” she says, but there’s something in it that tells him to let the quiet stretch out between them, and then she shakes her head a little. “Maybe I do. I don’t want to start breaking down now if I’m not sure I can put myself back together fast enough.”

“You’re not doing it alone.”

“I’m not used to that. Or- I don’t know. It’s different.”

Sokka tips his head and asks, “What do you mean?” and he thinks maybe he knows the particular kind of loneliness she’s talking about, but he can’t be sure.

“I was never alone when I had the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors, but I was their leader, you know? I didn’t want to seem like I wasn’t sure of myself because I wanted them to be able to trust me. And I guess they shouldn’t have, but…”

“They absolutely should trust you, are you kidding me? They couldn’t have a better leader.”

Suki looks away, pulling her knee up to her chest and rubbing at a barely visible smudge of dirt on her shoe. “I couldn’t protect them. Not that they can’t protect themselves, I know they can, but I should’ve- I don’t know, I should’ve fought harder. There had to have been something.”

“I know you, okay? I know you would’ve done everything you could, and they know that too, probably even better than I do.”

“I guess,” she says, but she might as well not have said it at all with how little conviction there is behind it.

“I’m serious, it’s not your fault. Losing to Azula and her friends is pretty much a rite of passage around here. They’re scary.”

“I love the way they fight, actually. It was nice to have it not directed at us for once when we were trying to escape.”

“Yeah, I’d kind of like to learn how to throw knives now, but that’s a whole other thing.”

She’s quiet for a minute, looking at something or nothing off in the distance, and then she says, “Do you know me?”

It’s an unexpected step back in the conversation, one Sokka hadn’t been ready for, and he can’t say it doesn’t sting a little. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t mean that in a bad way, I promise. It’s just that sometimes it feels like I’ve known you forever, but then I total up the days we’ve actually spent together and it’s not very many.”

“Well, yeah, but sometimes you can just… get people.”

“I know.” She shakes her head. “Maybe I’m overthinking it. It was just a weird thing to realize.”

“Well, short time or not, it was enough that you knew I’d find you,” Sokka says, but a half-second later he’s seized by doubt. “Unless… that wasn’t true.”

“I meant that. I wasn’t about to lie to you when you were in the middle of trying to rescue me. It’s just a little more complicated than that.”

He reaches out for her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. “So tell me.”

Suki’s expression goes unreadable for a second, back to staring at the horizon, but then she says, “I believed you’d come for me. I really did. But there were bad days when I thought… I don’t know. I guess I wondered if I’d ever make it outside again, because even if you did try to rescue me, so much could’ve gone wrong. Sometimes I almost hoped you didn’t come because I couldn’t watch you die.”

“I was always gonna find you. No matter how long it took.”

“I know. But some days I hoped you didn’t, because then I could keep believing in something. If you got killed trying to rescue me… that would have been it.”

“That’s…”

“Yeah, it’s dark, I know.”

“No, I mean- well, yeah, it is dark, but I get it.” And he thinks he does. He thinks he’d feel the same way, honestly, if it was Suki or Katara or his dad or anyone else risking their lives to save him. It’s something he’d never voice to the rest of the group, too much to put on the people he tries to protect, but it feels safe in the space between the two of them. “I can’t imagine not having anything to do but sit there and think about that.”

“Can’t say I recommend it,” Suki says, and she’s clearly trying to keep her tone light, but it’s not working all that well. There’s too much strain in her voice for that.

“If you wanna tell somebody about that, I know a guy.”

“Oh yeah?”

“His name is Wang Fire. He’s the personal therapist to the Avatar.”

“I don’t know the backstory there, but I’m gonna guess it’s you in disguise,” Suki says, with just the faintest hint of a smile.

“You… would be absolutely correct. But in my defense, I rock a good fake beard.”

Suki makes a show of studying him. “I think I like you okay without it.”

“Okay, well, I’m a little hurt. But the point is, I’ve got two functioning ears and nowhere else to be.”

Suki turns her eyes to the horizon again instead, swinging her legs so her heels kick back against the stone. “I don’t know what there is to say, honestly. I sat in a cell and I tried not to lose my mind. I tried to keep some structure at first, and I’d do some training or try to plan an escape or whatever, but it wears you down after a while. I’d have entire days of just staring at the ceiling trying to remember how to even feel like myself.”

And yes, okay, logically Sokka knows that he hadn’t known where she was, but that doesn’t mean the guilt of not breaking her out sooner doesn’t make it feel hard to breathe. He wants her to keep talking, though, because hopefully getting it all out will do some good, so he just squeezes her hand and waits for her to continue.

“The other prisoners didn’t mess with me or anything- one of them did tell me they thought it was cool that I was an enemy of the state as a teenager, so that was kind of funny- but we weren’t exactly friends, either. It was just… really lonely. I’ve never spent that much time away from the other Warriors, let alone completely on my own.”

“I really can’t imagine. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not like it’s your fault.”

“If I ever figure out something better to say in a situation like this, I’ll let you know. Probably become world famous for it, honestly. I think there’s a real market.”

“Don’t forget me when you’re a celebrity.”

“I could never.” Sokka hesitates for a second, unwilling to shatter the little bit of lightness in the conversation, but he needs to ask the thing he’s been too afraid of. “Azula said- she said something about you being her favorite prisoner. She made it sound like she’d- I don’t know, hurt you, or at least was out there being horrible to you. Was that true, or was that just to throw me off?” Suki hasn’t mentioned it, sure, but maybe it was the type of thing that was too awful to talk about. That’s what it had been in his nightmares, at the very least.

Suki shakes her head. “She was messing with you. She wasn’t pleasant when I got captured or anything, but I didn’t have information she wanted. Once she figured that out, I wasn’t worth her time, and she definitely wasn’t going all the way out to the Boiling Rock for my sake.”

Suddenly, Sokka can breathe a little easier. “I really hoped, just- it’s Azula. Even Toph doesn’t know when she’s lying.”

Suki frowns. “Is Toph… supposed to know when she’s lying?”

“Oh, right. You weren’t there for that, but yeah. Turns out she can tell when someone’s lying because their heartrate picks up.”

“Didn’t know that was possible, but that’s kind of just an everyday thing at this point.”

Sokka sighs. “Tell me about it.”

They sit in silence for a little while longer, but this time there’s less tension to it, not nearly as much hanging in the balance and waiting to be spoken. Maybe Sokka does feel less like he knows the girl next to him than he used to, but maybe that’s not a bad thing, because if he’s lucky he’ll get to know her. He has to believe they’ll have time, after the war. He has to believe they'll make it until after the war.

“Thanks for coming to find me,” Suki says after a while.

“Feel any better?”

“A little.”

“For what it’s worth, I still think you’re the coolest, bravest, toughest person I know.”

She tips her head onto his shoulder. “You’re sweet.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Oh yeah? When?”

“Uh. By you, right now.”

“You’re also ridiculous.”

Sokka turns and kisses the top of her head. “I can live with that.”

[fe-semi-decent-scenarios]

Congrats on 100 followers!!! If it's no bother could I request head cannons for how protective the BL group is over their s/o? Thanks :))

[I’m assuming that these are just general jealousy level / worry-wart head-cannons? We’re not tapping into yandere on this blog lol. I’ll keep it simple, how ya like it :3] 

Dimitri: 

11/10

Boy worries 

People out there want him dead = people out there want you dead too

Some might even try to take advantage of you due to his high status 

Makes him hella clingy sometimes. Nightmares when you’re in ‘unfavorable’ circumstances aren’t rare

Even in his emo phase he’s still like this- just even more because the world is basically his enemy 

Don’t let feral dima be around when soldiers talk smack to you. He will put them in their place without mercy 

Doesn’t help that you’re basically the closest to family he’s got aside from Dedue

Dude you’re his future and he knows it. There is no one else who would stick with him through everything like you do 

Even if there was, he wouldn’t want them. No one can ever replace you

He’s not so much concerned with someone else putting the moves on you 

Okay, wait--hold that thought 

He trusts you but goddess forbid someone makes you uncomfortable. He will use his authoritative presence to make them feel like a pebble next to a boulder 

Totally glares at anyone with wandering eyes when you’re not looking. He’ll put one arm around your waist and nudge you away from them without hesitation 

  Dedue: 

3/10

He can’t stop people from making advances- he knows that 

He also can’t take action on your behalf

Sure, he doesn’t like it when people make advances towards you. The whole point of being in a relationship is so people know that you are each other’s partner 

Most of the time he just lets you deal with it. You can take care of yourself 

His mood goes foul if people dare to do it in front of him. If people thought he looked intimidating before then d a m n 

He’ll casually place a hand on your shoulder (which if you know him well is actually the most unusual thing) and ask if you need anything else before dismissing himself 

Just a little expression of clarity that you’re with him, you know, chase the bugger off  

Surprisingly not a worry-wart in any aspect aside from health 

It’s easy for someone to neglect their health; mental and physical

Don’t be surprised if he encourages you to get check-ups ritually 

If something’s an issue he expects you to come to him when you’re ready

Not pushy in the slightest 

Felix: 

8/10

Asserts d o m i n a n c e towards all threats 

His attitude is one of the top three causes for any arguments. You know the snarky remarks are part of the Felix package, but would it kill him to have some restraint occasionally? 

Despite his intelligence Felix tends to make quick assumptions. The guy has a bit of a superiority complex and doesn’t like when other people get cozy with his s/o 

Pity the fool who challenges the Fraldarious 

He views it as them not taking him seriously. 

Also slightly afraid you’ll ditch his difficult ass

He can and will tell them off. Doesn’t matter the time or scene- if he feels someone’s being too buddy-buddy then he’ll make them to get lost 

Hence the arguments. It can get bothersome when he acts out towards someone you’re friends with or if he causes a scene 

He knows that it’s out of line and that you can make your own choices, but he can’t help it 

Will apologize begrudgingly, but only to you. The other person can just live with it 

You might be able to milk it and get an apology hug lol 

In other aspects of life he’s the same way. If a politician tries to screw you over he’s right there watching from the sidelines, if you’re in battle then he’s constantly glancing at where you’re stationed, etc. 

Ashe: 

7/10

He’s your silent protector lol

Not because he’s ‘quiet’ but instead out of fear. He doesn't want to annoy you 

Ashe has a lot of insecurities. No matter how many times you tell him otherwise he’ll always think you’re out of his league 

If anyone flirts or makes suggestive comments towards you he’ll get upset 

Like, really upset 

extremely upset 

 He’ll watch from the sidelines as you diffuse the situation, lacing one hand with your own with a smile. Just you’re normal not-confrontational-at-all-Ashe. At least that’s what you see 

On the inside it’s a raging storm of emotions going on. He’s so afraid that one day you’ll wake up and realize that he’s not good enough. That he’ll have to watch you walk away and return to an empty home again 

Que nervous sweating 

He becomes a doting mother if you’re ever ill or in danger. For weeks on end he’ll become you’re second shadow 

If someone ever dares to hurt you while he’s nearby they’re getting an arrow in the back. No mercy. The fury borderline snaps the arrow between his fingers 

Hates leaving you behind or being away. Not knowing if you’re safe, happy, healthy, etc. eats him up inside 

Literally fragile glass. He can’t even tinker with the thought of you dying or he gets a stress-induced headache 

Sylvain: 

5/10

He’s so neutral towards everything that it’s honestly scary 

The fellow Lions would even say ‘creepy’ for some occasions. It’s so far off from how he behaved towards his past partners and other friends 

With his past and reputation people would think he’d at least get defensive when other people flirt with you 

He knows what players are looking for since he was one. He’s been in their shoes

Yet??? He’s indifferent towards everything???

It takes a lot to get Sylvain worked up. His laid back way of approaching conflict tends to rub off on those around him and therefore helps in avoiding arguments 

It would take either you expressing your discomfort or for the other party to attempt physical contact to make him hostile 

Even then though he’ll simply push them back before leading you away. No harm no foul,  just in and out before things escalate 

When it comes to big decisions or outbreaks he also follows a neutral approach. He waits for you to express your own wants before giving his opinions 

You want to fight in the next battle? Cool, you’re registered. What battalion are you with? Well, looks like your going a different route than him. Are you sure that’s the one you want to follow? Yeah? Nothing he can do then aside from wish you luck. 

Doesn’t mean he won’t be concerned at all though. I mean, it’s natural to be. 

His mindset is that if he doesn’t worry then you won’t either. Anxiety is contagious and you don’t need extra stress in bad situations. 

Annette: 

7/10

She doesn’t w a n t to be like this, but sometimes it’s hard to hold back jealousy 

Annette is one of those people that likes attention from the person she cares about. It makes her happy, so being ignored for someone else would really hurt 

She’s nothing special in this regard. Like any person in a relationship she’ll have her moments, but for the most part everything is fine and dandy 

The whole reason she’s above average is because of other reasons

She’ll nag you about safety precautions with logic from her studies. Being a goodie-two-shoes from a young age has her nerves spiking whenever you take needless risks 

If she wasn’t reading up on faith magic before then she is now 

The fear of being left behind is also something to chalk up on this list. If you’re gone longer than expected she’ll become antsy 

The others can always tell when she’s worried. Annette isn’t very good at hiding that kind of aura from taking over 

All in all, she’s not a very protective person. A better term would probably be “anxious”

Mercedes: 

10/10

While she isn’t the staple of ‘overprotective,’ she is still exceedingly mindful of possible disasters  

Are you really surprised? Mercedes cares about everyone no matter who they are.  

She legit prays for the souls of her enemies. The woman is a saint in human skin

This also negates any jealous bone in her body. If she ever does feel uneasy it’s just a quick pang in the chest and then it’s gone 

She doesn’t like to dwell on ‘what ifs’ because then she can’t live in the present- where people need her  

She can seriously be a bit much other times though. If you even sneeze near her she’ll ask to take your temperature 

Doesn’t matter where, who, when, etc. Mercedes takes care of everyone 

Don’t ever deny her either. She can be pushy if the situation calls for it and sometimes it’s just easier to let her do what she wants 

She’ll pray to the goddess for your safety before any battle, and send you off with extra healing potions for the times she won’t be near 

During these times she’s extra vulnerable and is more open to showing her own personal strife to others. She tries to keep optimistic but nobody’s perfect. If it becomes too much she may seek to talk with a close friend (aka Annette) 

However, her thoughts remain unclouded when others are in need. She suppresses her personal feelings until those in front of her are taken care of 

Ingrid: 

0/10

She isn’t worried 

You know better than to wrong Ingrid 

Enemies know better than to wrong you 

Either happens and someone’s gonna die