#sometimes I feel bad for my oc’s just being self inserts but then I remember I actually don’t care

[gummy-sharks666]

I like how my pokesona is lowkey a baddie but my bakusona is just a complete loser

[dilatorywriting]

Hey there :]

I was looking at your ao3 because of the new siren Vil chapter (which was scrumdiddlyumptious btw <33) and I remember you had a lovely OC insert/Vil story (Starling Skies I think?) up but I couldn’t find it anymore, did you delete it? Sorry if you’ve already answered this question before in a post and I just didn’t find it, I’m a little stupid sometimes lmao

Hullo hullo! Glad you liked it! <3

And yes--I did have some of my OC/Vil pieces put up, but I ended up feeling a little self concious about putting it publicly and was worried I was kind of just shoving my oc down people's throats while they were waiting for the things they'd Actually starting following me for. Which I am fully aware was probably just my brain being silly and ✨Mental Illness✨

I might put them and the many other OC things I've written back up again at some point, but yeah. I had a little "oh no Is Bad" brain bleck and took it down a little bit ago

[zaptrap]

Seeing that you've been here since 2012 is INSANE like you've witnessed it all huh. You've seen probably SO many weird and crazy things in this fandom like man that's so cool for you I feel...

ive def seen and participated in a lot of dumbass bullshit over the years LMAO. although notsomuch during the skybound-to-seabound era cuz i'd lost interest for a bit

Random shit I remember off the top of my head (plz feel free to fact-check):

deviantart era: (2012-2013)

that bright green ninjago ask meme

like, literally everybody making self-insert purple ninjas (sometimes orange, teal, or rainbow) and shipping them with their fav ninja

everyone making their own genderbends of the ninja. cole was almost always called nicole or colette lmao

people also naming their accounts (name)-the-ninja (or "teh-ninja", since this was 2012)

there's a non-zero probability that if you were in the fandom during the season 1 era, you're a furry now

naruto crossovers

half-snake ninja aus.........wonder who uh......who could've done that.....heheh (me) (that was my whole deal pre-nindroid!jay lmfao)

everyone posting like, doll-maker things they made of ninjago? especially dragon ones

(me) posting leaked screenshots of season 2 eps that i found on the lego wiki or smth lmao. this is also how i found out zane was a robot. i think i kept posting leaks when i moved to tumblr

legends of chima releasing and i thiiink it was supposed to be a ninjago replacement? like, legitimately? though a lot of people weren't happy about it. "furry gang drug wars" was a phrase used a lot lmfao.

tumblr era (2013-2016 for me) (may overlap with dA era)

everyone losing their minds over the shirtless ninja in ns2 lmfao

that one video of kirby marrow (rest in peace) saying cole was 14

that other vid of like, behind the scenes and it was the ninja's actors but like in-universe? it's where "cole bucket" comes from

also some behind the scenes vid with the actual voice actors lol

thinking back on this, im like 100% sure it was bullshit but when the end of rebooted aired, there was a rumor going around about fans being so upset over zane's death that they carved a snowflake on their stomachs. lots of people were freaking out lmfao

the rise and fall of "fucknoshittyninjagoOCs" (ashamed to say i heavily participated in harassing this blog even if i rlly didnt like the premise.........)

maypong

lots of tension with instagram cuz of all the art reposts. like. tons of reposts. i remember someone blocked me when i said to take something down but then unblocked me the same evening and apologized LOL so

roleplay twitter accounts (twitter was kinda not-as-a lot at the time)

nindroid!jay of course. its so old there was an update that was made in flash lmfao...

absolute fucking shitloads of AUs and headcanons. i dont think this has changed much but like. there were so many lmfao. entire threads

actually there's too many fucking AUs. im scrolling through my main blog and i cant fuckin find anything cuz ITS ALL THESE STUPID AU THREADS THEY AREN'T EVEN LIKE DEEP LMAO

ask-all-the-ninjagians

the absurd screenshot redraws i did. like they were super stupid lmfao. icr which blog they're on but they're on my comp still at least

ninjagians just. being a term used at all lmao

the ninjago fan-tournament during ns4. people would draw/write about their ocs doing whatever prompt was posted and then everyone came together to defeat a big bad snake man

tbh i started naturally losing interest during ns5, and then VERY QUICKLY dropped the show (and therefore fandom) when skybound came out lmao............... so i dont really remember a lot from this era and everything after

and now im back :D

i hope this is insightful! xD

[lotusarchon]

𐙚⭑ 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐬 .ᐟ.

Element:

⋆ Ether

Birthday:

⋆ May 26th

Constellation:

⋆ Velum Caeleste

Region:

⋆ Suraya (Trinidadadian 🇹🇹)

Affiliations:

⋆ usagiiribbons (prev. on Tumblr, now on AO3 only)

⋆ lotusarchon (prev on Tumblr)

⋆ @tomoeffect (Tumblr + rp account)

⋆ @dragonboyanon (Tumblr)

⋆ divider by @plutism

Special Dish

⋆ Stormbreaker Jalebi

Name Card:

⋆ Ali Celestial Radiance

⠀⠀ ⠀the akash archon of the nation of suraya ⠀ׂ 🏵️ ♡ ִ

welcome, welcome! the stars and I are pleased to have you. what can I do for you under the vast expanse of our skies?

I'm Ali! Or Usagii, honestly, whichever is easier for you to remember and use. I'm just a dude tryna write in my free time to cope with my crappy life. Yeah, I know a lot of you like to stalk accounts and bring up the topic of "my life is better than yours", but I don't care. This is my safe haven...until I'm forced to delete it again because of assholes.

Uhhh...what do I say....ah.

I'm 18 years old (26.05.2006), I use masc pronouns (he/him)―(however, she/her and they/them are fine, but they're uncomfortable when strangers use them, because I'm used to be referred to as a AFAB in a disgusting way by people that dislike me), a proud Trini (a bit) and I like writing. I hope to one day further pursue this silly hobby into a career if my motivation stops killing me all the time. Currently, I have a few characters for an original story that I want to edit, but I also have OCs for the fandoms I'm in, depending. Currently, my biggest hyperfixation is Lego Monkie Kid, so that is what'll flood my account the most.

Warning; this account does reader inserts, discussions of self shipping and oc x canon. If you don't like that, leave. Also, it's not spoiler free!! NOT SPOILER FREE!! BE CAREFUL CAUSE I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU GETTING SPOILED!!

I don't believe in zodiac signs, but they're funny to listen too. I've been told I show traits of autism and bipolar disorder, and I do relate to a LOT of the symptoms however I am not diagnosed and I am not self diagnosing myself. Furthermore, I also will not use this as an excuse for any inappropriate or awful behavior. This is simply a warning for anyone that visits my account; I do have a weird set of moods that are...bad in one way.

Additionally, I rant. Sometimes I have a lot of peeves about character portrayals, fanon vs canon, and certain things. I am tone-deaf and I am also passionate and write as I think when rambling, so I've been told it "offends" certain bitches. However, that isn't my attention when rambling. I do understand people are comfortable writing (incorrect) character portrayals, and my rambling is not to hurt or make anyone feel insecure about their writing. Write what you want, I don't care. I'm not going out of my way to hate on you for what you're doing. I express an opinion and furthermore I always avoid content I hate.

If you're from my old server and go by a specific six letter name or four letter name, fuck off, why don't ya? And, for others; if you have a problem with me, I promise you can say if. No need to be like Six-bitch and Four-fuck and go hiding like highschool children. I'm an adult, and hopefully, you are an adult on my account. I do understand my behavior can be bad, and you can tell me. As a human being, I do want to change. Don't be like Six-bitch and Four-fuck and hide and lie, because surprise; that means I'm better than you, because I'm not hiding like a pussy.

Finally, yeah. I do tend to be blunt with my words. I also tend to overexplain, so my apologies if I ever come off as an annoying or offensive.

...do I have anything else to add?? No idea.....

Ah, okay.

I specifically write on three websites only; Wattpad, AO3 and Tumblr.

My Wattpad account is lotuseios. And I haven't posted there for a while, but majority of my oc fanfics were usually posted there.

Currently, I only have AO3 and Tumblr, of which is already mentioned. I only do reblogs on there though. Well, for one. The other is for roleplaying so hey, go hit me up there, I'd love to meet new roleplayers. My AO3 is usagiiribbons only. I have no alternate accounts for AO3, so if ANY of my fics from Tumblr, AO3 and Wattpad are posted on any account or other social that is NOT stated here, please let me know. Like, I'm honored you'll steal but bitch you have bad tastes and fucking get a life and a soul cleansing. (I stole that line from Four fuck heheh).

Ummmmmmmmm. Hmmm I don't think I have anything else....?

Ah, wait. TW.

I am a victim of grooming and sexual abuse/assault and child abuse. This isn't to explain any behavior, however, I'd rather not have people bring up any topics related to this on my blog. I also much prefer no one makes requests like these. As a writer, I do cope by writing with similar themes, but please understand that I'm not romanticizing or glorifying these topics. They're uncomfortable and gross, and when I see proshippers using their trauma as an excuse while being a victim myself, it sickens me. If you think it's okay to glorify this shit because you were a victim, seek better therapy, because your therapist is not working well for you. Aka, proshippers, fuck off my account.

additionally: my theme and current persona may contain elements of genshin impact but I'm clueless on anything new. I like spoilers though, so don't be afraid to share them. Additionally, the entire theme of my Genshin persona right now takes heavy inspiration from my own culture in the Caribbean and my East Indian descent, and also because I am still pissed at the lack of melanin in Genshin. Consider my fake land of Suraya to be filled with POC characters because fuck this.

“oh, you’re leaving? well, safe travels! I’ll be here, watching over the skies and waiting for your return!”

[g8dess]

alright 👁 the entire ask game for your ouran s/i? if you're feeling up to it hdshkgddhkh

Oh god for my Ouran S/I, I gotta choose which one then because I have too many S/I’s for that series xD

I think I’m just going to do my See Me S/I, Yani, who has known the twins for as long as she can remember, but only starting middle school is starting her path to befriending them.

F*ck that, have other self inserts too 🤜🤜

Also doing some asks for Yoshiko, my reinzu and me self insert, who finally requests a host after her best friend comes with her to the host club, and Kaiga, my blooming oc self-insert who's part of the host club as the dependent type.

⏰ - When/How would our S/Is meet? How were the first impressions?

Considering my self insert is very closed off and only has one close friend, we’d probably bump into each other in the hallways, and after some short apologies we’d be off on our own ways again. It’d take a third party to introduce us to each other later down the line, which in this case would be the host club members, considering he’s part of the host club himself.

First impressions are good on my part, Yani can see how protective he is of the host club and doesn’t immediately register his faux mean tone, so she admires him slightly. She adores his chiller attitude compared to the hyperactiveness of her best friend, so she sometimes goes to him if she wants to wind down for the day. 

While they probably see each other in the halls a lot, considering they are in the same year, officially they met in the host club during Yoshiko’s little host hopping period to get to know everyone a bit.

At the beginning, Yoshiko didn’t really like Ryomen, the mean guy facade rubbed her the wrong way, and Ryomen doesn’t really care about that. It's only after she asks if he can drop the facade with her, that the mean guy facade gets put aside for a bit, it is still there but less so, and Yoshiko really appreciates that but there is an underlying tension between the two.

Kaiga and Ryomen met when they were recruited by the host club. At first conversations were sparse and awkward, they didn't seem to have much in common. As time goes on though, Kaiga does seem to depend more on Ryomen than he does with the other hosts.

👥 - Would they be friends/enemies? How well do they trust each other? How do you think the dynamic would be?

I think they’d more be considered friendly acquaintances, bordering on friends. Yani doesn’t easily let others in, so she doesn’t want to use a label that Ryomen himself doesn’t use first. There’s a lot of uncertainty about whether they are friends or not, but they aren’t hostile towards each other.

Yani does trust him a lot, considering she knows he’s protective of what he loves and that means a lot to her. But she won’t share secrets with him just yet.

I think they’d be very silent when with each other, occasionally breaking it to ask the other a question, mostly about the food they might be eating or the activities for the day. But it’d be a comforting silence, no need to act around the other.

I don't think they’d get along that great, Ryomen being protective over the host club wouldn't fully trust Yoshiko. 

Ryomen would hear the tales of how me and a friend are with the twins and completely throw them off, and he would decide then and there that he can't leave us alone together in fear we'll ruin their routine again. Yoshiko would feel bad and avoid Ryomen most of the time.

They’d be considered friends, as all host club members are friends. Ryomen and Kaiga are both protective of their club, Ryomen a slight bit more so, so they'd do quite a lot for one another. 

I wanna believe they'd both trust each other quite a bit. I know Kaiga trusts Ryomen a lot, maybe a bit too much. Any secret he has, he'll share with him.

Ryomen has that protective big brother energy and Kaiga has that meek younger brother energy, so they work perfectly upon one another. XD. Ryomen is a reminder to Kaiga to stand up for himself and others, while Kaiga is a reminder to Ryomen to be a bit more honest and slow down.

🌼 - What does your S/I like about mine?

I said it before and I’ll say it again, the fact he’s protective of the host club and Haruhi. Yani is an only child so she only has her best friend being protective of her, but the feeling of having an older brother figure like Ryomen around puts her at ease a bit more. And she herself is protective of what she loves, so seeing somebody else have the same quality is nice to her.

She also likes their shared love for books, as for the rest this isn’t something she can discuss with anyone outside of her club activities.

His silly antics. Yoshiko loves that about everyone in the host club, how dramatic they can all get. It's entertaining to watch.

His “I don't care” attitude. Kaiga grew up caring too much about what other people think of him, so it's something he really likes and admires about Ryomen. 

🌹 - Your S/I and mine are double-dating with our F/Os! How do you think that would go?

Awkward if we do a group activity during high school, but only slightly. Kaoru and Yani would have secret touches and blushes on their faces, while I imagine Ryomen and Kyoya to have lasting gazes. But none of them would be willing to admit to anything romantic, and they are all no-nonsense people so we’d just focus on our activity most of the time.

After high school, when the relationships are established enough, it’d be quite a classy date.

I think it’d be quite tense as Ryomen doesn't fully trust her and would be too vigilant about whether or not she's a good match for Kaoru. So neither party can fully relax to enjoy their time together. 

I think everyone would dote a little on Kaiga, Haruhi and Ryomen are his biggest supporters, so they have difficulty letting go of the doting tendencies. Kyoya is just the mother of the group, looking out for everyone. Overall they’d have a good and chill time. 

👀 - What does your S/I think about my F/O? Does it affect the relationship between your S/I and mine?

How Yani thinks about Kyoya doesn’t affect her relationship with Ryomen at all. She doesn’t think much about Kyoya, just that he’s a decent person who knows what he’s doing. And I imagine Ryomen doesn't really care about her opinion regarding crushes anyway. XD

Yoshiko has a difficult time grasping Kyoya's character, so she's often scared of him. It also means she's scared of Ryomen whenever Kyoya becomes a topic of their conversation as she feels that her negative opinion is met with resistance. 

Kaiga has been in the same class as Kyoya for an eternity it seems to him, so he knows how cold he truly can be. It scares Kaiga a little bit, but Ryomen's opinion of Kyoya, and the fact they ended up in the host club together, drastically changed Kaiga's opinion. So nowadays he's chill with Kyoya.

Ryomen's opinion on Haruhi really affects Kaiga though, he's afraid to overstep boundaries or take initiative when it comes to his feelings as he doesn't want to trigger Ryomen's protective feelings over Haruhi.

😏 - Would your S/I tease mine about their F/O? Do you think it’d be easy for my S/I to tease your S/I about their F/O?

Yani wouldn’t tease so much as just simply ask about him. Anything Ryomen wants to share he can, but she won’t press the matter any further.

However it’d be very easy to tease Yani about her crush, even if she won’t show it much outwardly it does fluster her when she’s asked about her crush.

Yoshiko would try to tease him a little bit, but it takes only one glance from Ryomen to shut her up. Meanwhile Ryomen can tease her about her crush and she'll just stammer and fluster super hard, with no retaliation. 

Kaiga isn't the type to tease others, and in return doesn't like to be teased either. It's a bit difficult to fluster him since he's quite honest, but he will blush and avert his eyes, trying to divert the attention elsewhere. 

✈ - What would be an ideal hangout between the two S/Is? Any particular activities the two would enjoy together?

The two of them can be seen just enjoying each other's presence by reading and writing around one another. Enjoying some good tea and coffee and pastries. With Ryomen occasionally asking Yani to check over his work, or Yani commenting on something about the book she’s reading.

Yoshiko loves writing as well, so this is something they could bond over, if they were to open up about their writings. I can see them, mostly Yoshiko, very excitedly and passionately explaining all the lore of their characters.

🔍 - If the two were trapped somewhere/stuck in a dire situation, how would the two be able to resolve it?

Yani is a person that panics easily but keeps that panic under check, so not much is noticeable from it. I think the added presence of Ryomen would calm her down more easily too. So the two would probably put their heads together to get out of the situation, after some silence as neither wants to take the lead. Ryomen would take the lead a bit more than Yani, considering Yani is super bad at being the brains behind operations.

She would silently cry as they both figure out what's going on. Yoshiko explicitly asked him to ignore the tears, so they actually get some things done for their rescue.

Kaiga would freak out, it'd take Ryomen all his power to calm him down, so they wouldn't be able to do much more than wait until help arrives.

✏ - Share/Make up a shared favorite memory of the two!

When the host club got wind of Kaoru and her affection toward one another, they gave her trials to overcome to see if she was a worthy match. Each host hosted a trial, and the one Ryomen gave was by far one of the toughest of all. Mostly because he was one of the only hosts to take it seriously.

His intense stalking made her a bit paranoid, and she wanted to confront him about it. One way or another they both ended up soaked in the schoolyard pond, but talking it out they realized how silly they both looked.

📸 - Send a meme your S/I would send to my S/I!

🎁 - What’s your S/I most likely to give my S/I as a present?

Yani is most likely to gift yet another notebook to Ryomen, sometimes a book to spice things up a bit if she knows it’s one he would enjoy or have use for.

Yoshiko would probably just order a grand bouquet as a gift, not really knowing what else to give him.

Kaiga gets all kinds of small gifts, a book here, a new notepad there, some rocks and pebbles, a flower or some cute keychains. Anything that makes him think of Ryomen he will get for him.

‼ - Share anything else you think about our S/Is together !

Out of all the people she has asked to come visit her club, Ryomen is one of the few that actually came over to check it out. It became a small hiding spot for him.

Yoshiko and her friend were very quick to pick up that Kyoya was important to him, but couldn't pinpoint that it were romantic feelings, so for a while she encouraged her friend to persue him instead. After they noticed, aka were told, that Kyoya wasn't interested they were quick to change course and encourage Ryomen instead.

Kaiga has a soft spot for Ryomen, he crushed on him for a little while before and right after Haruhi joined.

[h0tpiink]

SO?? TWISTED WONDERLAND OC??? Not my MC, but a pom student!! Her name is Primrose Aurore! (it means first rose at dawn lol. or it would.)

art by me, for me! lol. anyways, I put a lot of effort into it so pls support me (by sending me good vibes. but if you want to commission me i can make a commission page or something idk)

I based her off of Belle (she went to NRC due to it being more "exciting" than RSA. lol)

PRIMROSE AURORE!!

Grade/Class: Sophomore, Class C (no.?)

Birthday: October 9th (Libra)

Height: 165 cm

Dominant hand: right

Homeland: Queendom of Roses

Club: Book club

Best subject: Animal linguistics

Hobbies: Reading, gardening, caring for others

Pet peeves: Judging, lack of common sense, bad live action remakes.

Favorite food: Roses

Least favorite food: Wild game

Talent: Reading while walking

Raised in the Queendom of roses in a smaller town, due to her being "different" (autism spectrum shenanigans, as well as ADHD) she was made a social outcast and bullied (like, egged on so that she would get angry, alienated from peers, etc. she found an escape in books! happy to read her days away, finding escapism in the stories people would tell of heroes and knights and princesses.

She was put in pomfiore because, well I originally drew this as a little self insert thingy, since I got sorted into pomfiore, but I wanna make her a legit character so I found who I could and belle seemed like a good option tbh!! Only thing we have in common though is being seen as a social outcast 💀.

This twisted version of Belle isn't too similar to the original, fun fact. As Belle's "weirdness" only goes as far as her being well red and not wanting to marry gaston lmao. So I put her on the autism spectrum, and had her "weirdness" be a general lack of social skills, issues with communication, etc. Only finding peace in fictional worlds that she imagines. She's rather awkward!! All of her life, she was forced to try to "fit in", and any time she would share her hyper-fixations or interests, she was put down and insulted, therefore she is rather shy when it comes to talking to people, and keeps her nose in a book at all times. Since she's in pomfiore, she's expected to keep a certain appearance, however, she lacks any aspect of self care, having sensory issues that don't take too kindly to it. Despite that, she's still gorgeous (i don't expect the og belle to have very many skincare routines. lol. so her beauty was just from washing her face with water (possibly dirty water lmao)). She gets all hyper when talking about her books though, her smile lights up the room when she talks about the prince who wakes the princess with a kiss, or the battle scene between the two dragons, one fighting for good and the other evil. Curious lady!! always poking her head where she's not supposed to, ending up in situations that could easily be avoided if she just kept to herself. nosy. Is always looking for quiet places to read in peace. She often finds herself in isolated locations that have a surreal feeling to them.

still working on her unique magic, tho o7

ANYWAYS. SHE'S HERE!!

She's pals with Epel( both of them are pushed by vil to care for their appearances. Prim has it a bit worse off though, as the sensory is too much for her 😭). Prim and Epel have an alliance since they're both country bumpkins. However, Vil is tough on both of them. She and Epel are in the same spot as beauties that need refining.

Vil is like another mother to Prim. Vil often makes sure that she remembers to do her skincare etc. Vil is harsh on her when it comes to self care, but he knows that she has a hard time with it, so he tries his best to accommodate for her struggles. Prim cares a lot for Vil, and confides in him with her daily struggles, and Vil is happy to listen since he knows that it makes her a lot easier to deal with in the morning.

she's in the same class as floyd leech. Despite being a little afraid of him, they surprisingly get along. Floyd is sometimes happy to listen to her gush about her current hyper-fixation, thinking it's funny how such a reserved and quiet girl can end up so excited over something so silly.

She often bumps into Malleus while looking for quiet spots to read, or when she's poking about school grounds. At first she was scared of him, but then learned that he's not so bad, and that he would listen to her gushing about her books. Eventually, she'd gift them to him to read. (she's happy he's not as scary as she thought he was. after all, judging a book by its cover is bad.)

[canongf]

i’ve been on the fence abt this for a while but i think you just existing has convinced me to make a self ship side blog :3 do you have any tips or advice?

THIS MAKES ME SO !!!!!!!!!

i think making a self ship side blog is one of the best things i've ever done... it's allowed me a place to explore my thoughts and feelings, it's helped my self confidence!!! i've made some of my best friends through this blog!!! it's been a lot a lot a lot of fun!!! and the thought that you're thinking of making your own because of me makes me sooo happy!!!

and i do have some tips!!!

pace yourself!!!

there might be an urge to go all in from the beginning and that is not a bad urge!!! but sometimes it can lead to disappointment and burn out, and that's no fun!!! so pace yourself!!! new blogs don't always show up in the tags right away because there's a trial period on tumblr to make sure you're not spam & a lot of people in the community can be shy or nervous about reaching out, especially to new people. just in case you don't get a ton of interactions right away, remember that it's not you. just give it a little time and try to have fun with it while you do!!!

reach out first!!!

like i said!!! a lot of people in the community can be shy or nervous about reaching out!! but the thing about people in the community is that they're in the community because they want to be in a community. they want to talk!! so don't be afraid to reach out first!!! even if you're not ready to send a dm or an ask, i've made a bunch of mutuals and friends just by reblogging their stuff and leaving a nice tag! by being a consistent username in their notes! people usually get invested in you and your ships when you get invested in them and their ships!!

make your own rules!!!

i see a lot of people, especially when they're new to self shipping, look to other people for answers. can i self ship with an oc? can i call them my spouse if i just found them? things like that. and i completely understand!!! sometimes when you're in a new environment you're not always sure if there are unspoken rules or something you're missing. totally fine to want a little guidance but i am here to tell you that, ultimately, self shipping is for you, and you make your own rules.

if you want to self ship with your own oc, do it. if you want to call a character your spouse even though you just found them, do it. gain as many f/os as you want, drop them just as fast, use a self insert or just use yourself, draw art, write fic, make a playlist about a character you don't ship with, whatever you want. sometimes people might not like it for whatever reason they might have and they won't want to interact, and they're allowed to do that. but you're also allowed to do what you want.

make yourself the priority!!!

at the end of the day, self shipping is about you. it's so much fun to make friends and it's so much fun to get notes, and there is nothing wrong with seeking those things!!! but just remember that if you ever get to a point where you don't feel like it's about you anymore, take a step back. if you're not having fun anymore, take a step back.

there have been times where i was overwhelmed, i felt like my main priority was answering asks and making posts for the community, which i love to do!!! but i had no balance!!! i felt like i needed to do it to "earn" the right to post about my own ships. it wasn't fun and it wasn't what self shipping is about. i've taken a step back, i've remade my blog, i've cleared out my ask box and i've closed it altogether, i've set boundaries, i've unfollowed and i've blocked, i've blacklisted tags, just to find the fun again. and i found the fun again!!! and it's okay for you to do that too!!!

this got sooo long, i'm so sorry!!! i just get so excited!!! i am so happy you're here and i am so happy you're considering a blog of your own, and if you don't feel like reading all my rambling, just remember these: be brave, be patient, and have fun. i love you!!!

(also if you do make a blog and you wanna share it, you're always welcome to share it here in my ask box or tag me in any posts you make!!!) 🖤

[sowthetide]

I saw the words If, Joffrey and Girl, in your previous ask and immidietly thought of And bless the daughter but fuck the family by dwellingondreams on ao32 that I read recently. And it was CRAZY GOOD??! The Joanna-Cersei interactions goes so hard. Especially with the whole younger more beautiful queen thing taking all she holds dear thing I just know internally Cersei’s probaly like ‘That’s Oomf but I low-key hate her 😭😭’

And I have yet to find a good genderbend Jon fic myself 1) Most of them are not my taste writing wise and 2) Those that I think ARE well written have Jon like you said act like a feisty she-dragon-wolf hot maiden who is hot or she’s just an object of desires for the men around her and by around her I mean any living man in Planetos ( i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ???? Then I continued reading of course ) And I have nothing against exploring incest in fiction ESPECIALLY in asoiaf like bear found on bear island…. But the girl!Jon/Robb thing doesn’t really hit because I think gay incest will always be better than straight incest,,,,Exemples : Aegon and Orys. Aenys and Maegor. Aemon and Baelon. Rhaena and Baela. The maiden vault girlies during the later years #keepingitlegal. Aemon The Dragonknight and Aeg-[GUNSHOT]. Umm what was i talking about again??

I totally agree that for a genderbend to stick the character should still have at least trace of what their original gender counterpart has like why is Fem!Jon not sulking , throwing little tantrums, being conflicted and feeling guilty every waking hour of the day :( like please make her a little bit emo please please please-

For ME! for a genderbend story to HIT, the character getting bended must have a 1) An Interesting and Very Fucked connection to BOTH parents that the gender thing can only worsen and 2) Also a Also Very Fucked Not Good Kinda Bad What’s Wrong With You relation to their gender and patriarchal norms in Westeros. Again, it’s asoiaf so it doesn’t really narrow it down that much( Mommy/ Daddy issues + not seeing women as people? That’s every bitch like ??) but I’m going on the basis that u understand my vision of like : Jon = decent/good. Theon,Joffrey,Maegor = GO CRAZY GO STUPID€/&/@1@

(Also genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐)

Just read "And bless the daughter but fuck the family" and uhhh... 😵‍💫 Okay okay okay. Perfectly insane genderbend. Give it a read, y'all (and tbh all of dwellordreams' fics go crazy, so check 'em out!)

Warning: mean opinions incoming. I'm a nice person usually I swear, I just also enjoy hating sometimes. Firstly, I agree that most Jon genderbends blow ass. Oftentimes, "Jon" just seems like a female author self-insert for someone who thinks Sansa is too girly/lame. Which I wouldn't generally have a problem with (we're all just here for a good time, and one man's unbearable cringe is another man's life-changing magnum opus), but it makes it hard to find genderbends that do interesting things with the actual character, rather than just inventing a female OC and calling it Jon.

"i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ????"

Oh my god lmaoooo. Beyond the ridiculousness of that, modern values in ASOIAF fics is more than a pet peeve to me, it's like a... man-eating tiger peeve. For instance, I quite like "Adjust For The Wind", as it's what inspired me to write Sow the Tide, but it also has a bizarre bit about women shaving their legs & genitals. Like:

Southern ladies are expected to remove all hair from between their legs.

&

“If you decide to groom between your legs using a razor or a knife, practice on your legs first. You can also use walnut oil, or bandages soaked in ammonia in a pinch.” Theon frowned. “I… see,” he parroted Mordane’s words. “And what do I use to keep myself clean… um, down there?”

Like literally what the fuck are you talking about lmao. To say that this took me out of the fic would be an understatement. I was so bothered by this that I tried to find actual published sources, but there didn't seem to be any particularly strong answers (besides that shaved genitals were more common among prostitutes). Also, for anyone reading, you do NOT need to clean inside your vagina, and your vulva (outside your vagina) should only be cleaned with warm water and a gentle soap if necessary. A strange place for me to make this point, but I'm making it.

I also tried a Jon genderbend fic recently, except fem!Jon had purple eyes and didn't look like Ned at all??? Despite that being a critical aspect of Jon's appearance??? I was just so completely flabbergasted because this author changed almost everything about Jon's appearance and personality, but somehow it's still supposedly Jon??? Like that's literally just an OC. Worse, of all things to keep, they stuck with Jon's canon age of 14 in a fic based around a romance with a 22-year-old man (Willas Tyrell). Maybe it's just because I'm 22 myself, but my immediate reaction was literally: "hm. I think Willas should be beaten to death." Like the fic itself felt tantamount to character assassination of Willas 😭 I was even bitching about this (wildly popular) fic on Discord:

I just hope to god the fic writer was a teenager, otherwise it seems like they just took GRRM's creepy handling of young characters like Dany at face value. Westeros obviously has different values, but it's concerning when the author themself seems to buy into those pedophilic standards.

GAY INCEST WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN STRAIGHT INCEST!!!!!!!!! 🗣️

lmaooooo. Also: "genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐" <- REAL SHIT!!!!!!! You had me cracking up with that one.

Also also: "Aemon The Dragonknight and Aegon" SAY THAT!!!!!!!

Seriously. Let fem!Jon be a sulky, prickly, angry, kind, self-important little emo. Let fem!Theon be an ambitious, vain, insecure, proud, also self-important little bitch. A complicated relationship with one's parents is a plus, and a complicated relationship with Gender is a MUST! Bonus points if they're a crazy bitch in canon (Theon, Joffrey, Maegor, as you point out)!!! I've currently been thinking about fem!Maegor ngl... 👀

Anyway, thank you for dropping in. I'm probably gonna end up making a fun haterism server with goddcoward and some other homies, in addition to the more chill Quen sever. If that comes to fruition, join us in the silly complaint circle!

[wrathkitty]

Also (hey it’s me, anon who’s obsessed with Din), I just have to say how much I love Short Debts and how much of an experience it’s been to read it. I think about getting dropped in the Star Wars universe a lot (almost an embarrassing amount) and your story has scratched a really special, specific itch I didn’t even know was there.

It’s so fun getting to read about an Earth girl in the Star Wars universe (side note: how is this not a more popular trope???), but then to have the story be so incredibly well-written??? It’s so unique and perfect and ugh! It hits just right. You include enough details to show Eleanor’s familiarity with Star Wars, but somehow that never takes us out of the story. Like, we know that Eleanor knows it’s a fake world, but that doesn’t make it less real—to us or to her. You do such a good job of toeing that line, keeping us immersed without shying away from the implications. It feels really effortless on your part, even though I’m sure that it’s not (or maybe it is, you’re super talented so idk).

Also, you’re an incredibly engaging writer so I would have loved Short Debts no matter what, but . . . Eleanor. Oh my god, Eleanor. Holy forking shirtballs, Eleanor! I love when writers give the reader an actual personality and backstory, even if it doesn’t line up with my own (but I’ve also never understood the hate against OC’s so idk maybe I’m just weird). That said, there’s been something so special about getting to read a Star Wars self-insert from the POV of a character I really identify with. I practice family law and have terrible ADHD so… yeah. I remember from an author’s note or something that you’re also an overeducated, underpaid millennial who works with kids (and maybe ND?), so I’m sure that you’ve put a lot of yourself in her (NOT a bad thing—also don’t get what fandom has against self-insert, especially when it’s done well). I’m glad you did—as an overeducated, underpaid millennial, it’s been really fun!

Also, there’s something about Eleanor’s thought process. Not just her background or the situation she’s in, but the way she rationalizes it. She feels real.

I think part of it is how she doesn’t assume anything. Eleanor doesn’t look at her surroundings and think, “this is the world from my television, so that means a, b, c, etc.” She’s more, “this looks like the world from my television” and doesn’t really think she knows something until it’s been confirmed in her new surroundings. Like the GFFA feels more real to her than her own. And something about that just feels sooooo right. I think it’s what gives the story weight.

It’s so weird. A lot of her behaviors are… exactly how I would respond to being dropped in a fictional universe. But somehow I never would have known if you hadn’t written it out first. I’m so curious—How did you know? I feel like you must really understand the human psyche. I always thought my first response to waking up in a fictional world would be something like “oh my god I’m in a TV show,” “give up now, just die,” “is this the afterlife,” “take advantage of insider knowledge,” “try to find a way home,” etc. But no. Actually, no, I wouldn’t do any of that. There might be, like, five seconds of discombobulation as my internal compass reorients, but after that . . . I’d just be.

Like how life is weird now, but we only think about it sometimes and never with much weight. And even if my surroundings looked similar to what I saw on TV, I wouldn’t consider myself to be in a TV show any more than I’d consider myself to be in a google image search while in Paris. There’s a clear, weird line between observer and participant, and I think you knew this intuitively, but somehow I never realized I would never actually question the validity of a world in which I was an active participant . . .

Sorry, I don’t know where I’m going with this! I didn’t mean to spam your inbox! I just really love your writing!! And I wanted to say thank you for putting something awesome out there!!

Also I saw something the other day about how Star Wars works best as a lens for other genres and thought of Short Debts. I think that’s another reason it’s so good. Totally a time travel romance with a Star Wars filter & I am living for it 😂

Good God, keep spamming my inbox! Comments like these are the crack that sustain me and kick the plot gremlins in their stupid faces to get them going again. Getting your comments was the highlight of my weekend.

It makes me so happy to know that you love Eleanor! As terrible as my writer's block is most days, I am incredibly grateful that the three OCs I've written took on a life of their own without me having to plot much out ahead of time.

And, yes, you are remembering correctly -- I'm an overeducated, underpaid millennial who works with kids, and I totally ride the ND rainbow. I like to joke that my mental history is a choose-your-own-adventure through the DSM-V. ADHD is a bitch, and to be able to navigate that while practicing family law -- damn. I'm sending you hugs and high fives and positive energy, but none of the squirrel cliches, because OMFG.

[shirogane-oushirou]

HI RO <333 🌱🎵💗 how about those with ren hehe >:3c

HI NICK my friend nick!!! 😊✨💕i hope you're having a nice day today hehe~ thank you for sending these in particular -- that last one made me Confront The Stubborn, Long-Internalized Cringe, but it's nice to get it out and not feel so self conscious about it 🤗 constantly growing and evolving etc!!

🌱 Who was your first F/O?

if we're talking like "fictional crush that i sometimes imagined myself with when i was itty bitty"? speed racer aksjndkjn. remembering that a few months ago made me feel ANCIENT. but if we mean "purposefully creating an oc or self insert to ship with a character," either at.em or yami ba.kura from yu.gioh u___u technically i selfshipped with several yu.gioh characters, but one of those two was the first. first thing i learned to draw after getting my first "how to draw manga" book was kissing, SPECIFICALLY so i could make my oc stand-in(s) kiss them LMAO. and then i went FERAL when i found out about their early incarnations, WHEW. changed my brain chemistry. i developed So Many Preferences in future f/os thanks to them ;;;;;;;

🎵 List three songs that remind you of your selfship.

"Chasing Clouds" by Bad Computer & Danyka Nadeau "Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met)" by P!ATD (same hat w you and rika kjsndkjn shaking your hand) "You Spent All Your Love" by Mega Mango

💗When did your F/O first say ‘I love you?’

for doc! and v! ren this gets into "i haven't killed all of my internalized cringe" territory but uh. never gonna kill the cringe until i voice it!!!!!!!! do or die!!!!!!! 💥💥💥 their version of my s/i is one that i've had for ~17 years??? who's like a verse hopper (created for gur.ren lag.ann and oc shipping back in the 00's. WHEW...). i've known him for like... 8-10 months, dated for 6 or 7. due to verse hopping mechanics, i'm thrown out of his verse -- we knew it'd happen, we just weren't sure when -- and he wasn't able to work up the nerve to confess beforehand, despite keeping a ring in his pocket for months. it isn't until i find my way back after A Not Insignificant Amount Of Time (from his end; for me it was a day-ish) that he finally gets the words out, because he doesn't want to let things slip through his fingers again. r!ren does it MUCH faster KJNSAKFJN. it's maybe a few months into dating? autistic rizz strikes and i'm the first to let slip that i love him after a little Private Time, because i want to make sure i understand what our relationship is, and he IMMEDIATELY tells me he loves me back and wants to spend the rest of the day being gross and snuggly and cuddly and romantic and kissing my neck like a little weirdo 🙄🙄🙄<- loves it. idk, writing it out like this, my and r!ren's vibe is so Normal People Normally Dating In A Normal Way compared to any of my other ships lmao ;;;;

(ask game)

[sollucets]

hi rowan! sorry to hear you had a rough day. for the writing ask game: how about 19, 28, and/or 39?

hello mel 💜💜💜 thank you for indulging me (game) i wrote. way too much. and it was a lovely distraction x

19. tell me a story about your writing journey. when did you start? why did you start? were there bumps along the way? where are you now and where are you going?

i will stick with only one of these i think, or this will be far Far too long, so: fic writer rowan, several starts

the first time i remember like specifically intentionally setting out to write something that counts as a story, on purpose & not for school, i am eight & i am handwriting in a composition notebook and i am writing oc/transparent self-insert fanfiction about the protector of the small quartet by tamora pierce. i am using the family computer to look up oc names on angelfire fansites. these are 100% The Days haha.

i do more stuff like that, later; i handwrite pages on pages of pokemon fanfic (make-ur-own region type thing complete with bad drawings of fake pokemon). i do a lot of this kind of thing on my own and for me, and then i am maybe 10 or 11 & i move that to forums (bulbagarden palletshipping thread…..,,,) this is baby fanfic writer rowan genesis, and posting on the internet before i was in middle school entirely killed my desire to do it for over a decade; i write often and a lot even outside of my work (ive completed nanowrimo three times!) but nobody ever sees it.

i get an ao3 in 2013 and post one doctor who fic but i am too scared and i orphan it right away. during a really intense media fixation i try again at the beginning of 2022 despite immense anxiety and find its not so bad. and then again for a different fandom a couple months later, and the response is such an immediate pickmeup & the writer friends ive made are so lovely that ive been trying my best ever since

28. who is the most delightful character youve ever written? why?

this is so hard. sobs. i like writing characters that have unique speech patterns, who like. make the narrative Sound different by being the pov character, which is something thats sometimes kind of hard about english-translated works (am i changing their cadence too much would they actually talk like that how much is my interpretation of the subs messing it up) so,,, i think for me i think the Most delightful characters that i always have the most fun writing are always characters like. avvy rasmr, who talks like a little fantasy spock, or anyone i can give talking quirks (like aye’s petnames). this is a copout u cant ever ask me my favorite anything i cant choose

39. what keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

you see most of the time i am aware that i love writing its something thats good for me as a person and i feel better when i do it even if its hard and the process occasionally sucks and in that way it is similar to like. taking a stupid mental health walk. you know. so,,,, if i can (sometimes you really just cannot. it happens. its okay) i just…. like….. honestly the ‘i’m being so brave about it’ mindset is good for this. be annoyed & bitch & complain but u still gotta do it and look!!! you did!!!!!

also selective giving up is good for you. have several things to choose from so if something stalls you Can give up, just a little, and go elsewhere for a bit

[goldy-engine]

Finally updating this

Salutations everyone! Welcome to my tumblr, I’ve been here a while subtly, I joined sometime last year? Maybe 2, stopped being active, had a Pokémon ghost hyperfixation , and then the trains came back.

I am the number 1 lady fan and I am very chaotic about it

I am trying to be more active these days but it’s an off and on thing

So first things first, Hi I am Montague! But I also go by Viggo. I use any pronouns most preferred are it/sea/star (yes I use neo pronouns) I am a therian (an southern residential orca to be exact)

I am autistic and have adhd and some anxiety disorder, those aren’t really important to know but it was probably obvious to begin with lol

I like trains, dinosaurs, space, ocean animals, Pokémon, httyd, HTF, Monster high, Minecraft, MSM, FNAFSL, JJBA, animation memes,MLP, ENA, and a bunch of other things

This blog will be to focus on my engines,

My main focus will be my main au, that I mostly just call the Absurdity of Sodor.

I often am indecisive though and go back and fourth on my choices, but I also will focus on the past of this AU and current day and the future. But mostly focus on adventures and sometimes slice of life things with Diesel 10 (especially through her redemption arc of becoming a better diesel), Lady, and Hiro most of the time and Polo!

Polo is my self insert, I will make an even more detailed post about her soon. I want to get into her backstory, I’ve been wanting to, I just need to force my self to at some point.

I do OC X canon here so if that’s not your cup of tea you may not like my stories.

She’s polyamorous so she may be seen with multiple characters, but especially Lady, Diesel 10, and Hiro.

I have a few other AUs

Such as my

Horror of the rails Au

which is about a much stranger and scarier version of Hiro of the rails, where Hiro is actually an antagonist and has been luring engines to tear them apart to rebuild himself after making a deal with an evil soul who has corrupted him, unaware of the harm that he is causing because of the evil soul.

Reconciliation au

About Lady feeling envious of newer engines and becoming evil and working with a Diesel 10, feeling that if she won’t be remembered for the good, she might as well be known for the bad, just like Diesel

Experimental Au

This one focuses on Diesel 10 where he and a few other engines were taken and experimented on as apart of Sir Topham Hatt’s secret plan to try and turn some of the engines into weapons.

And

The collapse of Sodor

A AU that is a wip that I am working on with my brother that will have a lot of endings but mainly focusing on the engines turning against the humans after an incident, many accidents happening, Lady goes missing but her magic is overflowing and Timothy the ghost engines return to try and become a god

But anyway, for the most part I’ll be focusing on my absurdity of a sodor au focusing on the silly and odd things of life here on Sodor, and maybe lore and backstories and stuff

DNI list:

Homophobic

Transphobic or just lgbtphobic in general

Don’t support neopronouns or xenogenders

Racist

Proship

Zoophiles

Support isreal

Super political

Anti-therian

Anti-otherkin

Anti-furry

A super negative person

Cause drama or issues on purpose

Don’t support selfshipping

Anti-agere

Or just overall a shitty person

[butterflybluelady]

If everyone is the problem, then the problem is you

Slight vent post

I haven't been using tumblr much and honestly I have meant to come back here and use it more.

2 years ago, this random guy contacted me on my deviantart. It was during my people pleaser phase, which is why I didn't instantly block him. First message was hello, the next complaining about his life.

This guy spent the better part of 2 years talking AT me, not with me. He learned very little about me, I knew far more about him than I wish I ever did. He considered me a friend, I did not consider him a friend. I felt like I was being used as a therapist.

He did various things that weren't appropriate. - When my cat passed, I let everyone know I'd be taking a break to mourn. I received many condolences which I appreciated, from him I received a great wall of text about his own cat passing many years ago. It wasn't a "I know how you feel, I sympathize with you," kind of thing either. At the same time, his favorite game was shutting down and he wouldn't stop pestering me about it. He also sent me pictures of his own cat, which looked a lot like mine and he knew that. I really didn't want messages like that. - He made a rude comment on one of my works because he didn't like how much skin my character was showing. My friends saw this and also felt it was rude. I confronted him. He really didn't see anything wrong with what he said because we are 'friends.' His relationship with me made him feel like he could say what he wanted. - He made a huge Welcome Spring post, 10% was about spring, the rest was him complaining about his life. He tagged not just myself but several other artists. I followed suit of the first commenter and only said happy spring. Others did the same. - Within this very post he had also made a gross comparison of his 'mistreatment' of other peoples OCs, and saying it was as bad as sexual abuse. I'm a survivor and that made me want to punch him in the face. To compare something so trivial to such an awful life changing act is ignorant. - When he found out about my dyslexia he said he wished he could fix it by having me read his fanfic. For those who don't know, dyslexia doesn't just affect my ability to write but even my ability to read. His comment was ignorant. I wouldn't have read his fanfic anyways since his self insert was an edgelord/gary stu. Only his self insert was written that badly, he made other characters that were great. - I am more than certain he was a liar. I did a commission for him(his Gary Stu) and he wanted his character to wear a certain type of hat that he claims he wears on the regular. He sent me a reference of said hat.... It was the wrong hat. And if he wore such a hat, why didn't he just send me a picture of the one he owns and wears on the regular? He sent me a picture of himself, so sending me his hat shouldn't have been a problem - He shit talked about a lot of artists, claimed they were mean, and they ghosted him a lot. I can see why. If you do nothing but talk at someone, it pushes people away.

I tried going low contact with him, he would pester me with "are you okay" messages. Sometimes I'd give in, say I was fine and busy. Right after that he'd go on about his life. He asked me about my brother a couples times because he had emergency surgery. But I had also informed him a long time ago my brother was fine. I think the only reason he asked my brother so much, is because that's all he either knew about me or could remember about m.

This last time, I told him I wasn't really much of a talker. He messaged back with disappointment. I decided to confront him about mostly talking at me and not with me. I was polite and gentle.

He did not like this and responded rather hostile. Telling me I was absolutely wrong, a liar, uncaring and just like all those other artists. He then blocked me. No sweat off my back. However, this does tell me he's been confronted about his behavior before, instead of self reflecting, he chose to blame the other.

I'm certain he has lied about the others and they were simply tired of being talked at just as I was. There were times when we did have decent conversations but most of the time, he just talked about himself. He actually has these very same issues with his family as well.

It's a shame he chose this route. Honestly what bothers me most is how ignorant he acts for his age, he is way too old to be this ignorant about things. For somebody who says humans make mistakes, he wasn't willing to even own up to his own.

[goremet-chef]

cicero being kelvins personal executioner!! its true love no i get so . i dont even say anything i just dismember them sorry guys thats my boyfriend please dont swing on him thanks!!!!! im. thinking about my story again............. my vigor has been wasped im ready for this shit i wanna rewrite it so bad they deserve it GRRR

i have to remember that no matter what, its a story for me and i shouldnt feel pressured to do anything or make it any sort of way cuz?? its a love story between my self insert and my favorite character theres no greater thing man

IDK i have to like. check in with myself for that kinda thing? i have to keep my priorities straight and make sure im not losing it at all or SUCCUMBING cuz honestly it got a lot more love than i ever expected it to? like genuinely people were asking me to update it and i was so. FLATTERED!!!!! so insanely flattered because its just my own story with my own ocs and OTHER PEOPLE actually liked it??? ill never get over that shit honestly i still can hardly believe it

im so grateful, but sometimes that sort of thing is like? in my head im like okay. you need to continue it for the people who wanna read it when really thats not the case its just for me its my own little guilty pleasure selfshipping fic, which makes it even more insane that anyone liked it SKFJSF

i think im shooting for like. releasing updated version near february when the full game comes out 🤔🤔 also gonna rewrite me a proper outline cuz that shit takes up like ONE PAGE no i need it detailed and planned once i started writing my MC story theres never been any other way for me i want chapter by chapter

[neibolt-werewolf]

i’d love to hear about your oc charlie!!!! do you have a story for them? :D

OOO HIII!!!

Hehehe I do have a story for him!! It’s still heavily in development (and it probably always will be) but for right now a good summary before I go to bed can be:

For starters he’s my unapologetic self-insert Loser OC </3 I don’t have much planned out for him yet in regards to the Clown Summer, but there are some things that are important for what I do have planned so far!

Firstly, Charlie is trans, and but doesn’t realize it until after he moves from Derry and is an adult. He and Beverly have a really close friendship being the only two “girls” in the Losers Club, and while Charlie doesn’t feel completely in touch with being a girl (though he doesn't have the language yet to understand why), he does take comfort in Bev’s friendship and similarities. This is a bond that remains just as strong upon the two being reunited in 2016.

Secondly, Charlie is very, very queer and very much has a crush on both Richie and Eddie, but he pushes those thoughts away for obvious "its the 80's/90's" reasons until they all eventually move from Derry and the amnesia curse kicks in.

As for in 2016:

Charlie comes back to Derry with the rest of the Losers (Stan is alive) and events go roughly similar to canon (tho I plan to rework a lot of the 'ritual' stuff, I just don't feel comfortable including the canon ritual in my rewrite, but nonetheless each Loser will still face their own demons/past). Of course, things are very silly between Richie, Eddie, and Charlie, who are now adults and suddenly remembering their childhood crushes.

Roughly around the time Bowers attacks Eddie, Charlie ends up coming in contact with the Deadlights, though he's quickly knocked out of the trance. In the trance, he witnesses Eddie's canon death saving Richie, though he initially marks it down as just a bad hallucination caused by Pennywise. It isn't until they're all in the final battle with Pennywise that he realizes the awful truth: That it wasn't just a hallucination. That he saw Eddie's real death.

With this knowledge, he stops Eddie from saving Richie and instead takes his place, sacrificing himself and dying the same way that Eddie dies in canon.

Sometime after he dies, he finds himself in a space-like plane of existence, and Maturin the turtle offers him the opportunity to return to life, as he gave his life to save his friends. Charlie takes it (though he believes he must be dreaming) and comes back to life.

He reunites with the Losers and while its shocking and upsetting at first, everyone is happy that Charlie's alive and things seem to be on their way to some sort of normalcy.

Something isn't quite right, though... (He's a werewolf-like monster now bc Maturin kinda sucks at bringing people back to life and doing so can never be done without consequence. That's the narrative reason, at least, the real reason is bc I thought it would be a funny considering Richie's fear in the novel. Oh also Pennywise isn't 100% dead I'm still workshopping that though.)

[scopebite]

in relation to

confession of types of tumblr users I tend to filter or avoid in relation to fallout and a few in general

people who hate Ulysses you will die and go to hell but I am not engaging I am not looking <3

people who have not only fallen for but regurgitate NCR propaganda </3

certain types of uncritical serious brotherhood of steel fans ew

Legion bloggers if they're not funny enough to make up for being really into misogynistic slaver fascists but especially fans of what I understand seems like sex trafficking "toxic yaoi" and especially if they act crucified for being into it or clog other tags... like ok I do like pointing and laughing at yassified fanon legion and I like making fun of Vulpes and related content lol but I don't trust like that so we gotta stay away. meta lore shit is of interest. apologism and justification is not.

people that really cannot handle that other people don't like something they're into and take criticism of that thing super insecurely personally bad enough to throw tantrums and harass others about it and especially if it's just some shit they jack off to

as a general rule people who seem to love making problems on purpose and who seem to be way too very into "it's my turn to be the bully" edgy middle schooler mindsets who seem to be endlessly chasing the adrenaline rush of being very angry online and who refuse to disengage from kinnie drama shit

I admit that I am so much more reactive and hateful and spiteful and mean inside and I'm trying so hard to not engage and trying not to be a hostile bitch anymore especially at my big age so peace and love on planet earth *smiling through gritted teeth*

obviously as previously mentioned people who take being blocked personal and/or seem like they will due to other observably insecure behaviors

when I don't like how someone draws a character like yassified meaty MacCready

when I don't like in general how someone posts about a character too much lmao

and content I try to filter or avoid direct eye contact with while I'm sharing with the class

ghoulcy I just don't like it and I personally don't like how it feels like sometimes the booktok smut brainrot girlies reduce Lucy to a hollowed out empty vessel for them to project self inserts into which is in my opinion disrespectful to her character and I think people should learn to and are more than free to just make cringe ass self insert OCs instead but okay whatever but I'm not like hostile to it I don't care that much if you like it

Arcade/legion shit and I'm trying really hard not to say something mean here so I'm being so fucking gentle. Jacking it to putting Arcade in a situation so non-consensual he'll kill himself over it? Fetishizing slavery and misogynistic fascists? Don't touch me.

I won't specify any other shipping shit but of course *gesturing vaguely*

and unserious and not really related to fallout but I filter spotify even though I also post spotify links when I have to but I hate that audios from spotify make you have to open spotify to play and it just annoys me lol

and obviously not making comparisons of this unserious annoying shit to the very serious so fucking serious shit that are on the same list that I also have as many p*do fascist racist transphobic etc terms and dogwhistles and weird abuse fetish tags too eugh as I can ever remember to block/filter

I am a hater I fucking hate things so much and also sometimes things are just annoying <3

I try not to care if you follow or interact with me if you like shit I don't like as long as it's not harmful evil fucked up and as long as you don't bother me about it so I can try to continue ignoring shit I don't like

but like truly deeply I have so much hatred in my heart but am trying so hard to be chill and normal

this isn't a dni because maintaining a dni is too much effort and impossible to enforce but I can close my eyes

anyway