#sometimes I can guess how they're going to fit in and sometimes it's a delightful surprise to see how it all comes together

[ladylynse]

Heyo! How are you doing? Just dropping by to say hi!

Hi! I'm doing well! I've been spending most of my free time wrapped up in a book series (I'm halfway done the last book), so life outside of that and what I have to do has mostly been me specifically setting aside time to do whatever it is and doing it. *grins*

(In my defense, I'm borrowing these books from the library, and the skip-the-line loans have shorter lending periods, 7 - 14 days depending on which library I get it from, and I've been lucky and those have been coming up when I'm on the previous book in the series, but honestly they're just good and I want to keep reading to see how the story unfolds.)

How about you? How have you been holding up?

[buckysegan]

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration - Part three.

Summary: The letters back and forth between our loves through the rest of the war. Word Count: 2.1K A/N: we are def rolling with some historical inaccuracies in regards to letters here but sue me, do i know how long the letters took? not a clue. but google gave us a good guess. john egan how i miss you, i need your love so here i give you mine. Part two link.

Dear Major Egan,

I'm delighted to hear I'm with you. I hope you know, that you've been with me too. It's rather insane to me if I think about it too much, just how much I've thought about you in the time that I've waited for your letters. Part of me was worried that you would think I was a little crazy righting to a man I didn't know and an even bigger part of me was worried my letters would reach you too late, but I'm glad you were happy to hear from me.

I don't mind that you're a simple guy, in fact I think I like that, then I won't have to worry about impressing you whilst we write back and forth I can just say what comes to mind. I like to think that I laugh quite easily myself, laughter is free right? And right now I think we could all use a little laughter in the world. I'll tell you my favorite song next and then you can tell me yours, I love you are my sunshine, it warms something in my chest whenever it comes on, I just can't help but smile you know? Your turn John!

I wish I could know exactly where you are, then I could know if you were some place safe but I'll settle for knowing you're still out there. As for me, I'm in Washington, Redmond to be more precise, is that anywhere near where you're from? I'd like to meet you very much Major.

With all my anticipation, excitement and continued adoration,

A friend from home x

Dear Darling,

That's what the boys have been calling you ever since your second letter arrived and given I don't know your name, that's what I decided to roll with. I hope that's alright.

I have no idea how your letters keep finding me at the exact right time, it's like fate keeps leaving it till it knows I need to hear from you. You should also know, it wouldn't matter to me if you were a little crazy, I know I'm crazy so you'd just fit right in. I don't think anyone that thinks laughter is free could be considered crazy though. You seem to good for such a thing.

I've had you are my sunshine stuck in my head for the past few days whilst I tried to find paper to write you. I think the boys were grateful at first because I wasn't sinking Blue Skies my old favorite, now I think they're ready to kill us both darling. Next question, do you like cats or dogs more? I'm not telling you my answer till I know you can be trusted.

I am with you. Know that much, and I guess Washington will be my first stop when I'm back home.

Please never stop writing.

With all my wondering, respect and ever growing adoration

John Egan

Dear John,

I could have given you my name. But I've decided that darling will do quite nicely for now. If you want to know my name you're going to have to make it home and come and get it yourself.

Is it sad of me to confess that every day I don't get your letter I get a little bit sadder until one comes through? I just hate the wait each time even though I know that these things take time. Writing you might just be the most stressful thing I decided to be. How does anyone's heart survive doing this?

You'll be pleased to know, I've been annoying the girls plenty in return with Blue Skies since learning that it's your favourite. I feel like it tells me a lot about you Major. Sing it for me sometime? I also feel like your question is a trick, a cat and a dog have very different purposes in life so I'll just chose both if that's ok?

I wanted to tell you I joined the war efforts myself since I last wrote. I'm in the factories now and I have to admit, I've never enjoyed having dirty hands so much. I'm helping to build the planes. The wings specifically, I think they put me here because I wouldn't stop talking about my pilot John.

I wonder if anything I ever build will make it across to you? My letters won't stop as long as yours don't John.

With all my curiosity, joy and bursting adoration.

Your darling from home x

Dear Darling,

I'm in a terrible mood. Buck said I can't start my letter like that but I told him you'd be alright. You don't mind do you? I have to tell someone or I think I might actually start going a little crazy. I might already be crazy if I didn't get just as excited as you do when the mail call comes through.

I wish I knew you before the war. I wish you knew me before the war, I fear I might not be the John that came to England. I don't even know if I'm the John that start writing you all those months ago. I'm just sort of hoping you won't give up on me anyway even if my letters ain't always sunshine.

And I'm glad darling, I'm so god damn glad that waiting on my letters is the most stressful part of your day. Reminds me why we're doing this, what we're over here for. To keep you all safe at that side.

I suppose I can give you cats and dogs though. I wouldn't want to pick either if we really had to come down to it. My girls smart though huh? Making those planes for us to fly? I gotta say the idea of that does something to me and my bad mood in a good way.

What I wouldn't give to be home with you right now and I never even met you.

My longing, wishing and steady adoration

John Egan

Dear John

You can write to me, come rain or shine, bad moods or good. I don't want to just be here for the fun parts Major. I may not have known you before the war, and I may only just be learning who you are now but I don't doubt for a second, every part of you is worth knowing so tell Buck that I'll take it all and he can keep his opinions to himself.

I'm sorry, it was thoughtless of me to say writing letters were stressful when you're over there doing what needs to be done. More news keeps reaching us and each day I am terrified that your name is going to appear on a list somewhere.

I know that you can't be here, and I can't be there, but I wanted you to have some small piece of me with you so I sent you something with this letter. Keep smiling with me John, through the good and the bad, just keep smiling if you can.

I hope to see you so soon.

All my determination, strength and adoration

Darling x

Dear Darling,

Buck said he's sorry. He won't ever doubt you again. I think you two would really like each other you know.

He's my voice of reason these days, or rather he always has been. One of my two favorite people, him here, and you all the way over there. How is home? Does it still smell as sweet as I remember it?

I'm a little convinced that you're too good to be true darling. Your picture caused more whistles and taunts that I've seen from the boys in forever and I would have knocked them all on their ass if Buck didn't strike and tell me to sit down again. How do you not have a solider of your own to be writing too?

Sometimes when I get down time. I like to day dream about what you're up to over there. How many planes you fixed up for us, imagine taking you dancing on a Friday night, do you have siblings? Your folks still around? I've been trying to picture it all.

I dream of that soon more than I care to admit.

With all my promises, thoughts and adoration

John Egan

Dear John,

I'm glad you have a voice of reason. We wouldn't want you getting up to any trouble now would we? Are you the sort to be in trouble a lot? I get the impression you could be Major Egan.

How are your moods holding up these days? I can't help but worry about you over here even when I'm meant to be busy.

If you could see the blush that you have all caused you would all be ashamed of yourself. I promise I'm real. I tried to get my friend Meg to let me send a picture of her but she claimed you were really going to show up here one day and then you'd be looking for the wrong girl.

I like the idea of you imagining things. It means I'm not the only one. I do have siblings, an older sister who works in the factories with me, and a little brother who is out fighting with you somewhere but his own girl writes him. My folks are both still here with me too. What's your family like?

I do have a solider of my own to be writing John, I have you.

Tell me a secret if you can?

Your darling x

Dear Darling,

Forgive me because this letter will be short, but I needed to send it out before we move. If you don't hear from me in a while, don't worry, I'll write back as soon as I'm able. I want that name, I want the dancing, I want you to meet my mom when I'm back.

You want to know a secret darling? I think it's taken me ten letters to fall in love with you after all you've given me.

With my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

John Egan

Dear John,

I'm writing even if you might not get this because I refuse to believe anything else other than you're busy for a while. I'll be over here waiting for you remember. I'm with you even when I'm not.

I have so much more to tell you and things I want to learn before I am satisfied.

In fact, no I may never be satisfied and then I never have to let you go.

You'll be in each of my thoughts till I hear from you again John, I think loving you took me one letter.

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

Your darling x

Dear John

I don't think I've taken a real breath in weeks. I figured I would write you again, just in case the first one didn't reach you and you thought I hadn't wrote back.

Your name hasn't appeared on any lists so I refuse to believe that you're not still out there waiting to come home to me.

In case you missed it in the first letter, I love you too.

I am still expecting you home John Egan, I'd be with you till you were. That was the deal right?

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

Your darling x

Dear John

If my letters and love don't reach you where do they go?

Tell me more secrets please? Tell me anything? Tell me you'll sing for me like I asked? What do I do if I never get to meet you?

I've checked each list I've found twice every day for months now. Meg said I'm a mess but I don't really care, I just want to know that you're alright. Even if you're not coming here. Please just tell me you're safe John.

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

Your darling x

Dear Darling,

Sorry, I didn't think a little while would be that long but I've thought of you every damn day I couldn't write to you. I got your letters, all three of them made it to my base some how.

I'm hoping I beat this letter home so that I can tell you in person that I love you.

I hope you like what arrives in Washington darling, but please bare with me if it takes me a second to adjust. I'll tell you everything, all of it, anything you want to know about me. I feel like I have very little to offer you but it's all for you now. I'll be home so soon.

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

Yours,

John Egan

[sepublic]

You've gotta wonder what kind of person Manny Noceda was; He's one of two people who informed so much of Luz's character, her grief and posthumous relationship with her father is reflective of the creator's own experiences, it's foundational to the story itself in how Luz chooses to honor her parent and keep his memory alive as she learns to keep living for herself, too.

I already wrote a fic briefly exploring on that, but let's talk about it more: Obviously it's not always so clear-cut between parents and children in real life, but I guess you could see Luz as the culmination of Camila and Manny. So one could use this as a means to work backwards with Manny, to see what parts of Luz she didn't get from Camila, but from her father.

I imagine Manny as someone very confident, brash; He doesn't back down from a challenge. Maybe Manny immigrated to the U.S. to boldly pursue the American Dream, and didn’t give up when it hadn’t immediately paid off, just as his daughter embraced the Boiling Isles. But I also think a part of him doesn't want to be seen as weak, less capable, conceding to others. Manny isn't going to let other people bully him around and he doesn't want Luz or Camila to be hurt that way either. If Camila passed down her fear to Luz, Manny passed down his thoughtlessness; So he might have that same headstrong tendency to sweep others along in his need to prove himself, and in his well-meaning need to help them prove themselves.

Did it ever frustrate Camila, who would sometimes be more worried about just surviving by fitting in? Maybe they both balanced each other out, just as Luz balances out these different, seemingly paradoxical parts of herself. Did he not want to appear weak like Luz, particularly with the context of his illness? Did Manny try and hide that, prioritize his loved ones, just as Luz later did, maybe even internalized from him?

I can't imagine how scared he was, slowly dying; Particularly when it comes to his wife and daughter. He's going to leave them behind. He wants them to be safe so badly. He wants to see Luz grow up and become the person she wants to be. He wants his family to know that it's okay to be themselves, that they're everything. But Manny isn't sure if he's getting it across in the right words, if he's saying it properly. He needs to make the most of his time.

I can see Manny as someone loud, energetic. Eccentric. Luz gets her odder mannerisms from him, he's brimming with this earnest, delightful energy that's so hard not to like. Did he immigrate to the U.S., or was he the child of immigrants? Grandchild, even? Did he and Camila resonate together over their ancestry as another reason for feeling alienated from the majority, where they were? How did they feel about their own families, did they also worry about having to choose between two worlds? Did Manny desperately fight tooth and nail to survive, because us weirdoes have to stick together?

Did Manny have anyone else to tell him to stick up for himself, or did he have to figure it out himself? Was Camila one of those people who helped, and vice-versa, did they both reassure one another? And when Manny was gone, Camila just didn't have the heart and confidence to keep saying that to herself. Was Manny still scared for his wife and daughter when he died, or did he dare hope in his final moments, just as he always dared to live as himself in life? I wish Manny could’ve gotten to see how his loved ones would thrive, and all of the people they’d meet and befriend.

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Finally watched Caped Crusader and I have ✨thoughts✨.

Oswalda is straight up iconic. Loved every scene with her. I actually laughed out loud when the dude goes "Thorne got you to kill the wrong son?" and she responds "Not that!" I'd let her lock me in a suitcase and throw me in the sea. She gets a gold star ⭐

I like that we get to see Selina's origin. I like the classic suit. That's kinda it though. A bit sad that Bruce didn't feel any connection with her. Just not a huge fan of her character here. She doesn't feel like Selina (a problem most of this show faces tbh).

I was loving the Harley stuff. The bit with Renee was so cute, and I love that she really was passionate about helping Bruce move past his trauma. I really like that she's Barbara's friend. Was really upset at the fakeout death but at least she was just joshin. The villain stuff felt like fetishes which like okay. I guess Bruce needed to put in something to replace BruceBabs. Anyway, that's the final dig towards him. As much as this Harley episode wasn't my favorite, a promise is a promise. Although I do gotta ask, WHY CAN'T RENEE CATCH A BREAK IN HER LOVE LIFE >:(((

No fucking way the moral of episode 7 was "the system is totally not screwed, it's just a few bad apples and also a criminal is a criminal and should be jailed". Barbara literally says the system sucks cause the cops can do what they want and get in anyone's pockets and then nearly gets killed by a cop and then they end it with "actually, I think you do"?! I mean yeah that specific guy deserved prison but ending it on that note of Barbara feeling betrayed and confused on her morals tells a very not-so-delightful message. Glad the show backtracks on all that immediately but it's still weird and definitely could've used some revising to fit in with the rest.

Onomatopeia was awesome though. I remember people claiming his shtick couldn't work when he appeared in Superman and Lois. They said that it only worked in comics and would be too silly out loud. Happy to report that they're wrong.

I feel like I'm the only one who was excited to see Waylon but that's okay cause I got enough excitement for everyone. Love to see my mans kicking the shit out of potential perverts. You go, Waylon!

Dick, Jason, Steph, and Carrie. Definitely an interesting combination. But it's also so nice to see a Jason who grew up in a different environment and is therefore adorable with no rage in his heart. As opposed to Carrie who was ready to kick some ass. The ending to episode 8 really understood Batman, what with him saying he can't leave her there, carrying her and shielding her under the cape, and then asking about her later.

The Harvey bit is kinda cool but 1, I've always been iffy on the shotty DID stuff and 2, I think they coulda gone further. Just watch The Long Halloween for a better Two Face plot.

I like Harvey helping that guy get his stuffed animal back. That was a nice small character moment. If we had more stuff like that and Bruce being unable to confess his emotions to Alfred, I think this whole thing would be better. This one made up for episode 7's little message by having Barbara tell Harvey that it's not so cut and dry and that he deserves help too. I'm glad they went back to that after the whole "sometimes things are black and white" bit. Batman is about helping people just as much as Superman is and I feel like sending a message that "nope, bad is bad and he should just punch people" doesn't fit the entire thesis of Batman.

This finale really encapsulates how this show doesn't quite understand the character of Batman. It may be comic-accurate for him to be an asshole and put on the voice randomly, treat Alfred like crap, and randomly break character with stuff like "don't start growing a conscience now, Dent" but as I said it goes against the whole thesis. This is more along the lines of the Nolan films with the "Bruce Wayne is the mask" bit. And we all know how I feel about those films.

And then it ends on a boring cliffhanger with the boss guy and then a shitty Joker teaser. Boo.

In short, this show is good but it's not anything special. I do really like the classic Batman aesthetic, but that's pretty much it. It doesn't really understand the characters like MAWS and WFA, the overarching plot is kind of uninteresting and it doesn't feel like we're building up to something great. I feel like this show really wanted to use the episodic style to take a look at all these different elements of Gotham's world with references to existing characters and aspects. But whereas MAWS smoothly slid those into its narrative and setting, this just kinda feels like a villain of the week show instead of working towards this grand narrative. And that can be a good thing, I mean I'm a Scooby Doo fan for crying out loud, but in this scenario, it just doesn't work that exceptionally. If it gets a season 2, I'll probably watch it. But this isn't something I'd be excitedly waiting to see new episodes of.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: May 2024

you guyssssss you guys you guys you guys I've been reading so much this month :)

sometimes my brain gets the itch to just DEVOUR books and it's really been on me, probably thanks to the burst of energy + free time that comes with the semester ending and summer getting started! the days are longer, the last of my season depression has been kicked to the curb, and I can spend hours reading on the porch every evening. the ideal!

right now, as the month ends, I'm feeling a particular hankering towards nonfiction and juicy new summer novels; I reblogged a Lit Hub roundup of new books the other day that got my brain buzzinggggg with excitement for the coming months. we'll see if that ends up manifesting in the June roundup, but for now, here's what kept me busy in May:

Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble (Alexis Hall, 2022) - this month I read two romance novels picked by my beautiful patreonites; I did a compare/contrast between the two over on Patreon and I'll leave the majority of my thoughts there, but suffice to say that I am not a fan of Paris. definitely the weakest of the three Alexis Hall novels, and a real disappointment since I found the other two delightful. the story is straightforward enough and has some potential for sure, but Paris as a protagonist is a sodden mess who I found just insufferable. thumbs down from me, gang.

Chef's Kiss (TJ Alexander, 2022) - hi, it's the other romance novel. this one is a lot goofier than Paris Daillencourt, which is fitting since it's BA Test Kitchen rpf starring a bisexual Claire Saffitz and a nonbinary Brad Leone. it's frustrating because the story is definitely stronger than the one in Paris but the romance is piteously undercooked, although I was at least fine with the protag and her love interest getting together - they were boring but unobjectionable, unlike Paris and his love interest who I really thought would have been better off as friends. now that I'm thinking about it, you might get a perfect queer cooking show romance novel if you somehow mashed the two of them together. they're both, like, so close to working, but ultimately fall flat.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 4-6 (Ryoko Kui, 2018) - I don't even know what to say except that I'm still loving everything about Dungeon Meshi. the craft and thought that Kui puts into every facet of the world, from the big picture politics between fantasy races to the individual thoughts and feelings of each character, shows so much love for the world without ever being overbearing; it never feels like exposition is being hammered down my throat so much as little details are being tastefully arranged to be enjoyed at whatever speed and to whatever extent the reader likes. the world is getting bigger with each chapter and I'm looking forward to exploring more, especially now that Falin's hottie monster form and that good good catgirl have entered the chat.

Earthdivers Vol. 2: Ice Age (Stephen Graham Jones, Riccardo Burchielli, Patricio Depeche, Emily Schnall, Joana Lafuente, 2024) - once again I've done the worst thing that you can do as a comics fan, which is get invested in a series that's just starting out and is still releasing individual issues. the third trade paperback won't be out until December, so I guess I'm either going to have to go on hiatus with Earthdivers or start chasing down new releases on comic pirating sites, which feels shitty - that's how I read Batman comics that are the same age as me, not new stuff from authors I actually want to support! but Earthdivers might just be worth it. the second installment takes us to a wildly different setting than the first, Columbus-killing collection, dropping fearsome mother Tawny in a prehistoric North America. but while the setting changes, the series is still grappling with the question of what its protagonists are willing to sacrifice and who they're willing to become to change the past and save the world. we're starting to see bigger hints about how much history can be altered and catching some clues about the series' antagonist (???); I gotta know what happens next.

Prairie Fires: The American Dreams of Laura Ingalls Wilder (Caroline Fraser, 2017) - here it is, the book that got nonfic so powerfully on the brain! this is a riveting history whether you grew up on Little House on the Prairie or not (I didn't), tracking Laura Ingalls Wilder from an impoverished girl constantly imperiled by life on the prairie to a beloved icon of American propaganda. for me, personally, this hefty book really picks up when it gets to the endlessly complicated and frequently nasty relationship that Wilder had with her daughter when said daughter was grown; Rose Wilder Lane is a FASCINATING figure in her own right and I'm kind of obsessed with what a shithead grifter girlboss she was. fascinating stuff all around.

The Brides of High Hill (Nghi Vo, 2024) - Vo's series of Singing Hills novellas has always woven from one genre to another, exploring new types of stories just as our protagonist, the cleric Chih, explores new lands. this installation takes us straight into a gothic horror that pulls out all the stops: an isolated manor, an enigmatic madman roaming the grounds, the strangling snares of social conventions, and a blushing bride who isn't exactly what she seems. I read it in one sitting, it's delicious.

Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Arielle Greenberg, 2023) - a poppin' primer for anybody who wants to learn more about the world of kink and what the fuck is going on out there. at one point I did catch myself thinking that I was a little underwhelmed and that Greenberg wasn't really putting forth anything that radical, but then I realized that speaking extremely candidly about and validating interest in basically any kink or fetish imaginable, and yes I do mean straight up any of them, is actually A Lot for many people to handle. so, yeah, good book, check it out for a friendly and enthusiastic intro to the wide world of kink.

Sex Criminals Vol. 2: Two Worlds, One Cop (Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, 2015) - the first volume of Sex Criminals left me feeling a little meh, but I decided to keep going because Matt Fraction's Hawkeye run was lifechanging and I know this series is pretty widely acclaimed, so I want to see where we're going with this. (plus it's free via the library, so what do I have to lose?) this volume really sold me on the series and particularly on Jon, who I was pretty lukewarm on initially. he really stole the spotlight in this one, and I like the way that the story is ratcheting up the stakes.

The Stone Sky (N.K. Jemisin, 2017) - GOOOOOOOOOD what a book! what a trilogy! in a series shaped by empires and natural disasters, the story ultimately ends with a quit confrontation of clashing ideologies, a young daughter determined to end the world and a mother equally determined that one of her children should live. and that shit hurts! I read the series a couple of times when I was younger but I was never before able to fully appreciate the work Jemisin does in crafting Essun and Nassun, showing us the way cruelty and fear have shaped both of them into the people they ultimately are and the choices they make. absolutely masterful, a legend.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World in Search of the Good Death (Caitlin Doughty, 2017) - this was another reread, and while N.K. Jemisin was blowing my mind, Caitlin Doughty was giving me a warm hug. I don't know what to tell you, reading about the ways that people all over the world care for their dead and take comfort in their memories makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. death can be really beautiful and comforting, if you're not a coward.

The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag (Sasha Velour, 2023) - listen, I'm not really a Drag Race girlie. I first heard about this book when Velour was a guest on Nicole Byers' podcast, and while I was very charmed by her I was not expecting to be blown away by her book. it's just a little cash-in for a Ru girl, right? all she needs to do is slap together some cool pictures of her in drag and a few platitudes about being yourself and boom bang, that's a book. but readers, I owe Sasha Velour an apology: this book was so much cooler and smarter than it needed to be! Velour brings an impressive eye to forces of colonialism and capitalism that shape art and conceptions of queerness, and keeps this framework firmly in place while keeping the tone of the book bubbly and lighthearted. she also goes out of her way to spotlight a huge variety of drag performers and gender nonconforming figures throughout history, celebrating all the different means of expression that make up the tapestry of contemporary queerness. a great read, and one that I've already shelled out for. a friend and I are working on a documentary exploring the nuances of queer style, and I know I'm gonna want to pull heavily from Velour's thoughts and the history she's curated.

[lych33dragoncookie]

alright so the main reason i wanted to make this blog; those new Wind Archer trailers.

I already had a lot to say about the first one, for... One big reason.

The fact we're going to the laboratorium is pretty exciting, but I did not expect for us to already catch a glimpse of the Ultimate Cookie. In fact, I had almost forgotten about that; I thought Matcha making MyCookie was more of a byproduct of the Beast cookies needing bodies to inhabit, but...

Well, I guess Dark Enchantress's original ambitions haven't left her. And she's really, really close to realizing her dreams; the dreams she carries on from White Lily Cookie.

It really makes me wonder how White Lily would react to these developments. To see her dreams realized, every bit as horrifying as she most likely knew they'd be, carried on by a part of herself. I really, really wanna see where they go with this.

On another note...

sorry, i just much prefer his Japanese VA HE'S BAAAAAAAACKKKKK~

You have... No idea how frustrated I was to see that the first Beast cookie to release was Mystic Flour and not him. And while it's not guaranteed we'll get him this time, either (even if i really hope we do)... Come on, it's just nice to have him back. He's a really, really fun antagonist. Sometimes, when all your antagonists have complex motives, believing that despite everything they've done, ultimately they're the ones in the right (with even Dark Enchantress only committing as much harm as she has as a response to the revelation that the world, on a fundamental level, was seemingly much more cruel, uncaring and pointless than she had ever thought; a desperate need to make a difference, no matter how many lives and pain it takes), it's incredibly nice to have that one villain, that one villain who doesn't try to find an excuse for what they do, having fun, not believing that they're doing everything that they do for some greater motive, but just to have fun, to make the entire world one big, brightly burning play area for them to toy with as long as they want, however they want. I love Shadow Milk, because he perfectly offsets the usual monologuing, self-righteous villainy we tend to see (And often enjoy, don't get me wrong, both Dark Enchantress and Mystic Flour have grown one me) with just pure, uncaring, show-stopping villainy for the sake of villainy.

He's manipulative, playful, silly, over the top, more concerned with putting on a show first and foremost than actually accomplishing his objectives; because you and I both know that he knows that he could probably just brute force his way into getting his soul jam back, into taking down the heroes without any opportunity for them to do anything about it. If he wanted to, he could very, very easily create an unwinnable scenario. But he doesn't. Because that's no fun.

And I absolutely adore him for it. Every single scene he's in is an absolute delight.

... Right, uh. Wind Archer.

I'm excited for him! It's been a while since we've gotten any Ovenbreak legendaries, and with Wind Archer in the game, it means we're likely very close to seeing Fire Spirit and Millennial Tree (Both pretty big faves for me, though Millie is the one that does unholy things to my brain just from looking at him). And honestly, this feels like a really, really good use for him! No beating around the bush, no overcomplicating anything, just going straight to the point and trying to stop the current threat at its root. He's going to fail, obviously. Even if he takes out the ultimate cookie, chances are it can just be rebuilt, and the beasts on an individual level would be way too much for him to handle. And with Shadow Milk having awoken... Yeah, he stands just about no chance. But, it will be very fun to see, methinks. It's also just a pretty natural fit; a protector of nature that hunts down anything that may disturb or corrupt said nature being sent to strike down what's pretty much a threat that's entirely artificial, unnatural, bodies made through forbidden, arcane magic and ethically dubious means, stumbling upon the culmination of someone's ambitions to create perfect life by artificial means. It works out really, really well, methinks.

But yeah that's my thoughts so far on the 2 Wind Archer update trailers, I'm actually really excited for where they're gonna take this, we've actually got some good plot progression going on and a lot of interesting writing ideas that while I don't fully trust the devs to execute perfectly, I do still really like and feel pretty hopeful for!

... Now just give me Shadow Milk and Millennial Tree and my life is yours. And Lychee, maybe. That one might take a bit. how are they even gonna do Longan in Kingdom. that's... quite a lot to try to adapt without either rehashing content or completely hijacking the plot. god i hope this doesn't mean they'll just stop at Lotus. I miss my dragons. Except not really because OB has been doing some good stuff with them.

Sorry for the really long post, but I wanted to dump some thoughts and have a sort of primer for the kinda stuff I wanna make for this blog.

Oh, and expect some shitposts along the way, too.

[yellowhollyhock]

there is much to love about the tmnt fandom and I have to say one of the things I love the most, is when you meet somebody who has A Favorite and you get to learn about the character through their eyes

Like, my favorite is Donny, I knew it in the first episode, he is my classic blorbo type. And when we're talking 03 which is where I started, he's two of my classic blorbo types: obsessive genius and absolute sweetheart

So when I watch, while I love them all, I'm much more likely to notice his interactions a lot more and fixate on every slightest hint of what's going on in his head while Plot happens

And it's just indescribably delightful to like, I guess kind of have the other povs filled in?

For example I adore Mikey, they're so gender and so silly and SO full of love and self-doubt and insane levels of courage and entirely too much trust. Fascinating and multi-faceted and talented and the type of person I would admire in real life. But I'm never going to See Mikey the way someone who is as obsessed with him as I am with Don can, y'know? I love seeing fics and art that Show Him. Like there's so many angst fics? Not what I would have expected and it's so cool. Like. It fits for him in such a beautiful heartbreaking way

And Raph is extremely close with Donny for my fave spot, I love the different takes on him throughout iterations, I Adore him in 03. Early on my sister and I would laugh because I kept saying Donny was my fave and then going on and on about Raph. Here's the thing though: I see Raph from Donny's pov in a lot of ways. If you're watching 03 obsessively watching Donny, you're going to notice that Raph is always so so gentle and encouraging and protective. So in my head a lot of the time Raph is this Super Chill Guy who is filled to the brim with love and has never done anything wrong in his life and is capable of literally anything (which is how Donny sees him, according to what I made up in my head)

And I think it's partially for that reason that a lot of my close tmnt friends are big Raph lovers, and that's kind of what made me think of this initially because hearing about him from their pov is so enriching. Because he is actually a very flawed character and that's what's great about him! He's a teenager and so much happens and he's trying to process and he doesn't always choose the healthiest way and that is such a relatable experience. And that's also caused me to obsess Even More over the Brains and Brawn dynamic because. They make opposite bad decisions that sometimes cycle back into being the same bad decisions and they're so nonjudgmental towards each other about it and have such admiration for each other's strengths

I got on a bit of a tangent. Point: I was obsessing over Raph a lot but it's been so delightful to have friends who obsess over him More because they see him in ways that I can't from this angle

And Leo it's really similar but kinda flipped, like I love Leo for himself, but when I'm watching I'm mostly noticing two main traits, his patience, and also his social anxiety because! hnnn I don't know how to explain it. Like he takes longer to warm up to April which I'm Noticing because Donny warmed up to her Immediately and so I was watching for the others, you know? Or how he gets anxious during phone calls, either passing them off to someone else or taking them from someone else because he needs to feel in control because it's a high stress situation.

Anyway the more I get to know people who really deeply love Leo, the more I'm also seeing this indestructible older brother which I had mostly seen in Raph. (Which is also a whole other post because to me, Donny admires Raph and worries about Leo while Mikey admires Leo and worries about Raph)

And side characters! There are so many excellent side characters that are only in a few episodes and seeing fanwork that thoughtfully develops them in a way that's true to what we've seen but so much more? That's where it's at! I can't start listing them I'll never stop ahdhakshag no but I do have to say. Lotus Blossom!

I can go on forever but there's just nothing else like learning about a character from the people who love them probably even more than the creators, y'know?

[cheesenames]

20 Questions for Writers - I was tagged by @batrachised and then took forever to actually do this, oops.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18, but some of them are anonymous so officially it's 16

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

65,647

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (a shocking confession to make on my Star Wars sideblog) and Jane Austen

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The one where Anne de Bourgh is the Regency It Girl who everyone's desperate to marry

The one where I lost steam and will never finish it and kind of just ignore that it exists <333

The one where Mary Bennet is a serial killer

The one where a bunch of normal office workers and medical experts exchange increasingly concerned emails about the Vader suit

The one where Bail Organa accidentally starts a rumor he had an affair with Darth Vader

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, and I always overthink it and worry I'm annoying whoever I'm responding to

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't know if this would really be considered angst, but the "Mary Bennet serial killer" fic I wrote ends with the implication that she's going to kill again lol

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is hard to quantify, but Bail Organa's accidental affair reveal does distract everyone too much to blow up his planet, so I guess that one

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, I'm unanimously loved but I sometimes get people telling me I should have done something differently

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No, but I write innuendos if I think they're funny. I've got one fic that's just "how many double entendres can I fit in 850 words?" and it's incredibly immature but I'm told it amused people

10. Do you write crossovers?

Officially no, unofficially I've had a concept marinating in my brain for like three years and simply haven't bothered to do it because I got distracted by Star Wars

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have, I don't know about it yet!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I started translating one of my own fics, and then I never finished it. It's really difficult!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes and it was a DELIGHT. It felt like it transformed the entire process to be only the fun parts (bouncing ideas around) and none of the difficult parts—just like yayyyyyyy I'm having fun and then suddenly you look up and realize you've hit 10,000 words

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Yodpatine

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have been working for a while on a Padmé + handmaidens fic that's mostly just me projecting about "how do you move on when your lookalike dies?" and I would like it to become a coherent story I can share someday but I am not optimistic about its prospects

16. What are your writing strengths?

Being silly

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Being serious

18. Thoughts on writing in another language in a fic?

Please stop using google translate for this, I find it so jarring when a character starts speaking a comedically poorly translated version of a language I actually know. In my own writing, I would much prefer to use the "'Words words words,' said Character in Language" construction, even if it's a language I speak

19. First fandom you wrote for?

sigh. I think it was Sherlock

20. Favorite fic you've written?

anyway I think the one where Palpatine lost his job and ended up becoming roommates with Anakin and Obi-Wan was fun, so we'll say that one

tagging: @no-where-new-hero @animazi @ozvezdja

[loz-furbies]

Queen Ambi

Design

Ambi has a surprisingly nice design for a video game queen, it's very striking and memorable, and also instantly recognisable as a high fantasy queen. We don't see enough of those silly cone hats with the veil! The overall look is a bit silly with the huge shoulder spikes and collar, but I think it fits the world and her role perfectly.

I also like that she actually looks like an adult woman (when it's not uncommon in anime style fantasy stories that the king has a santa claus design while the queen could be mistaken for an older teen), and she also has a distinct face without looking overly cartoony. Those eyebrows were excellent on Ralph and they're excellent on Ambi too.

Character

Sometimes fantasy rulers are presented as pretty chill and casual people, but Ambi is at the opposite end, comfortable with her role at the top of the hierarchy. Link can't just walk into her palace and instead needs to jump through hoops to gain an audience with her, and through the story she is shown giving orders to her subjects. She's not completely unreasonable though, since at least she gives Link a reward for completing her request, and also bothers to ask about his name. And in the finale she shows some concern towards Link since she went to get her knights to help him when he got locked inside the final dungeon.

Ambi does some messed up things that aren't really addressed, namely that she is totally on board with the villain's plan to create an endless day so that her workers may never rest (not sure how this would work in practice but whatever), and is excited about going down in history as the greatest queen ever. And like, she isn't even possessed at this point since the villain is possessing Nayru and acting as her advisor.

In the end credits she has built a statue of Link and states she'll never forget him, so at least she acknowledges and appreciates his efforts.

At the end of the game Ralph states that he's proud to have Ambi as his great x6 grandmother, and Ambi takes offense at being called a grandma. Women getting offended at the thought of being perceived as old isn't a joke I like to see, but I do appreciate that Ambi gets to take part in a less serious scene too at least.

Role in the story

In Oracle of Ages Ambi has this ambivalent (hehe) role in that technically she isn't a villain, but is controlled and later possessed by one. Her presence is threatening and we see cutscenes with ominous music through the story how the dark tower she is building keeps getting taller and taller. After the villain is driven out of her body, she sides with the main cast, though she doesn't really get to do anything useful.

Her subjects lament how they're exhausted about the endless work Ambi's eternal day has caused, and the story doesn't really hold her accountable for this. I think that if the game didn't want to deal with this, it would have been better if she had been completely possessed, because the scenes where she fully consciously delights about the tower she forces her subjects to build for her are pretty messed up. I believe the story would prefer us to think that she was being deceived by a villainous advisor but it doesn't really work.

Earlier when Nayru is the one possessed by the villain, much drama is wrung out of the fact that the villain is now unkillable, because killing her would also kill Nayru. But once the villain moves onto possessing Ambi, in hindsight it's kind of funny how now the characters aren't that concerned about Ambi's potential death as collateral damage, and instead everyone is just worried about how her death would mean that her descendant Ralph wouldn't be born. I guess it serves her right since she did some pretty disturbing things to her subjects, even if this is more of a meta level thing...

In a linked game she can be found in Oracle of Seasons on "an eye-opening journey to different lands and ages", with the help of Nayru's time traveling power since we're in the present time for the whole game. She doesn't do anything important, but it's nice to see that she's being active in her own life at least ("Traveling alone is difficult, but it is one of a queen's many roles").

Relationships

During the story Ambi is motivated to build her tower to become the greatest queen ever, but originally its purpose was to guide her seafaring husband back home. In Oracle of Seasons we learn that her husband is the now (un)dead skeleton pirate captain, and they have a little reunion cutscene. It's cute enough for what it is, even if it ends with them going their separate ways because he is a man of the sea and she understands that and resolves to be his port. I believe that the canon order of Ages and Seasons is that Seasons happens first, but I prefer them the other way around so that Ambi can get some closure (and I played Ages first which is of course important).

By the end of the story of Oracle of Ages Ambi has grown to find pride in Ralph as her descendant and also behaves friendly towards Link. She also values the advice of the Villain-as-Nayru, and appears to remain in a friendly relationship with her later as well. These relationships are barely worth mentioning, but I guess it's still nice that a character in her role in a GBC game gets non-zero amount of characterisation with her relationships in the first place.

[wri0thesley]

Ok, maybe G3 and Mahito?

ooh it's been too long since i've gotten to write for him . . . i am personally uncomfortable using the term 'daddy' so i have SLIGHTLY re-worded this prompt, i hope it still fits in with what you were hoping, anon! <3

[yandere prompts & dialogue starters]

cw: predator/prey, injury, kidnapped reader, dub-con implied in the past [non-explicit], threat

“One, two, [I'm] coming for you. Three, four, knocking down your door.”

Mahito's voice is as lilting and light as it always is; the words taking on a sing-song tone to match the rhyme. He is evidently treating this as a game; you'd guessed as much when he'd suggested it, his bi-coloured eyes glittering with danger and a smile stretching his mouth just a bit too wide.

"It'll be like hide and seek!" He'd said to you, crowing, delight making him lean closer in to you. "You can try and run and hide, and I'll try and catch you!"

You'd been silent in response - but Mahito hadn't liked that. He'd pouted, leaning even closer, so that the scent of sweet rot and brackish sewer water that clung to his hair and his skin had enveloped you too. He'd poked one of his cold, cold fingers into the soft flesh of your cheek.

"Well?" He'd goaded. "Don't be boring!" A narrow of his eyes; a pleased little smirk, as a thought suddenly occured to him. "Don't you want a chance to escape, cutie? Here! I'll make it even more fun for you . . ." Sharp, sharp, sharp teeth. Bright eyes. You think of how Mahito's teeth had felt digging into your shoulder, how his fingers and hands had felt on your bare skin as he'd pondered aloud reshaping your soul when you'd stopped being fun. His voice had dropped to a whisper, cool breath fanning against your ear. "We'll be like the movies; I'll up the stakes. If I don't find you before the end of the night, I'll even let you go free! You'd deserve it, little human, if you could escape from me!~"

You're not stupid.

Well. You feel stupid, sometimes - that this strange man had paid you attention and you'd felt honoured by it, that his same attentions had made you feel light-headed and special. That you'd fallen for Mahito's pretty eyes and pretty hair and even when you'd found out what he was capable of, you'd told yourself he cared about you in a way that he clearly didn't with other humans--

But now, after being Mahito's favourite little human pet for weeks, you don't think you're stupid any more. This is probably all for show. He probably has no intention of letting you go.

But hope gnaws at your chest like a thing that's alive, and you'd taken the chance and you'd ran.

It's been hours. And you're close.

"One, two . . ." His voice is coming from somewhere far away, all lilting pleasure. He even whistles cheerfully, and you can see him in your mind's eye pantomiming looking underneath abandoned cardboard boxes and poking his head around corners.

"I'm coming for you!" Glee suffuses every one of his words, soaking into it like a sponge. They're getting closer - with a huge wave of relief, you see a silver-glinting ladder against the wall of the sewer, light filtering in from a grate that looks just flimsy enough for you to push off and just wide enough for you to squeeze through. "Three, four . . . Knocking down your door."

You'd kill for a door right now.

His voice echoes off the walls of the sewers. Your foot slips on the wetness of the ladder; your breath catches. Your hands are sweaty, palms covered in sewer water and worse - and you do not keep your balance. Your ankle smashes hard into concrete and you bite down onto your lip to muffle the cry of pain, as the rest of your body follows and you slip from the third rung into a crumpled pile on the floor. You're so close! Little light filters down here, but you can tell there's the distinct lavender tint of almost-dawn. You've almost done it. A half hour, maybe even just a quarter of one--

"I can taste how scared you are on the air, you know!" Mahito calls out, cheerfully, from far too close. He hums the little song again; he must have picked it up from some horror movie or other. Your insides feel frozen. "Mm, you're delicious! I might just eat you up when I find you."

Your poor ankle creaks out in pain as you try and scramble back up.

You don't hear the sibilant hiss of something less than human, moving through the knee-deep water of the tunnel. You're staring at the ladder when Mahito shifts himself slowly back into something vaguely human shaped. The first you're aware of his presence is when long arms wrap around your middle and silky hair brushes your shoulder.

"Found you!" He says. There's laughter overlaying menace in his voice, and though he pretends to still be playing the cheerful innocent, his arms are locked about you like iron cages. "You almost made it, cutie! But you didn't, did you? Poor thing."

"Mahito," you breathe, your ankle crying out in pain, your breath short. "It's-- it's almost dawn--"

"Not quite," he purrs, burying his face into the crook of your neck, breathing you in deep. "Almost! But not quite."

". . . Please." Your voice is a weak little thing, wavering and quavering in the air. It's hopeless, you know it is - but you have to try. "Let me go anyway."

"Don't be a sore loser," he admonishes. He tugs you backwards - back towards his part of the sewer, back towards the pile of blankets he's haphazardly piled onto his hammock in the hope of making you a comfortable nest because he's discovered you're less fun exhausted. Back towards the little stockpile of food that he's stolen from convenience stores with no care about staleness or use-by dates or even what you like. Back towards his other experiments in soul shaping, the ones that moan and sob all night when Mahito's mouth is on yours and his body presses you down into the hammock. Back towards the ruins of your life. He notices as he drags that you bite back more cries of pain whenever your injured ankle touches concrete, and he giggles again.

"Poor baby," he croons. "C'mon. I'll fix that up for you. I've been working on those kind of small transfigurations! And it's not like you'll ever need to run from me again, is it? You're clearly absolutely no good at that."

[mercillery]

DANTE WITH A SHY S/O

WARNINGS: GENDER NOT SPECIFIED + TOXIC STUFF

NOTES: Credits to frit_2 for the beautiful fanart <333

╰┈➤ ❝ I could devour you whole, and yet you hesitate. How delightful. ❞

No one could have ever imagined a man like him being with someone as timid as you, not even his own siblings. He’s the very embodiment of pride and evil. And then there’s you—an incredibly timid and shy soul who somehow ended up with someone so diametrically opposed to your nature. It’s an extraordinary and baffling pairing, so much so that it defies all logic and expectations. 

Your relationship with Dante is definitely shaped by a constant play of power dynamics. Dante thrives on control and dominance, not just in his professional life but also personally. Your shyness and gentle nature provide a counterbalance, creating a dynamic where he often takes the lead. Depending on how you feel about it, this can either be a good thing or a bad thing—a bad thing because you may want to have your own voice, but Dante's leadership completely overshadows it. But most shy people might prefer having someone take the lead for them, right? If that's the case for you, then there's no need to worry—Dante will gladly take on that role. He's been doing it his whole life and has no problem continuing, especially for someone he so dearly loves. His natural confidence and ability to steer situations make him well-suited to guide you, leaving you with little to no worries about taking the lead on anything.

Dante is extremely possessive and protective of you, maybe even more so than he usually is with other women because of your timid nature. While this can sometimes feel suffocating, it also means he is always there, ready to shield you from any danger. His protectiveness doesn't come from a place of gentle care; rather, it's driven by a desire to keep what he considers his from any harm or interference. In Dante's eyes, you are a precious possession, and his protective instincts are fierce and unwavering. Again, this intense possessiveness can be overwhelming, but it also means you are constantly under his vigilant watch, never left to face challenges alone. I guess this is another thing where it’s up to you whether you like it or not.

It pains me to say this next part, but I have to keep him in character, you guys. I’m sorry. 😞

Dante definitely has expectations, and they're pretty high. Your shyness sometimes makes it challenging to meet those expectations, which can lead to him trying to change you—sometimes forcefully. Basically, he might try to mold you into his ideal woman. He'll push you to be more confident, even if you really aren’t feeling like it. However, these little conflicts usually don't last long. In the end, he might actually decide that your shyness suits you better than confidence anyway. Still, these mini-conflicts pop up in your relationship from time to time, and that can get pretty frustrating. It's like a cycle—you clash over your differences, he tries to change you, and then things go back to how they were until the next time. It's not always smooth sailing, that's for sure.

Dante is a master manipulator, and he sometimes uses his charm and power to influence your actions and emotions. He knows how to exploit your shyness to his advantage, subtly guiding you to rely on him more deeply. Over time, this creates a bond of dependency, where you find yourself increasingly drawn into his world and influence. This is the part where I told you how he believes shyness fits you better than confidence—because as much as he loves confident women, he absolutely eats up the way you’re dependent on him, something he craves more and more by the day even if you’re already as dependent on him as one can be. 

Being Dante's lover means you're always close to the other members of the Dark Triad. This might be your very own personal hell because your shyness often makes you vulnerable in such a dangerous and intense environment, but Dante's influence provides a shield of protection around you! But still, you have to navigate the complexities of their group dynamics, which isn't easy. Earning the wary respect of those around him is a delicate balance. They know you're important to Dante, so they tolerate you and watch you closely. This constant scrutiny adds another layer of difficulty, making it even more crucial to find your footing in a world where power and loyalty are everything.

In summary, being Dante Zogratis' shy lover is a journey filled with intense emotions, shifting power dynamics, and deep, albeit complicated, affection. It's not always easy, and it certainly comes with its fair share of challenges. But at the end of the day, you're his golden possession, standing out among all others. That unique bond, for better or worse, sets you apart and ties you closely to him in ways that few others could ever understand. You’re the only case where he���ll gladly nurture you instead of crushing you—like a flower.

[iasmelaion]

In the spirit of the post you just reblogged and because I only just stumbled my way to being obsessed with this fic, would you like to talk about the backstory/impetus behind "join the monster squad"?

I have so many feelings about trauma recovery and how people carry the pain they've been dealt, and you rendered it in such a grounded way with Yelena and the many (oh God SO MANY) former assassins in the Avengers' orbit.

Yes, always!!

So, the backstory behind this fic is that I had an idea kicking around my fic notes file for literal YEARS that was just: "post-Endgame Bucky's support group for traumatized ex-assassins and non-con science experiments." Because yeah, when I thought about it, the MCU was ABSOLUTELY FULL of traumatized ex-assassins and non-con science experiments, and I was like, "hmm, there's a possibly funny, possibly sad story in that." The idea lingered on, unwritten, and eventually I was like, well, maybe it's not Bucky's support group, but Natasha's, and then it lingered some more, mostly because I covered the ground I wanted to with these two in other fics, so the prospect of writing this fic with either of those two felt kind of boring.

But then after I wrote "a balanced, careful weave" from Yelena's POV, I realized the fic could also work as a Yelena fic, and then it all clicked! It's not exactly a sequel to "a balanced, careful weave", but they do take place in the same fic universe, so that one might shed some more light on Yelena. Mostly though, writing Yelena's voice is an absolute delight, so I was excited to try out the premise with her.

Writing it from Yelena's POV was much more interesting to me than writing it from Bucky or Natasha's, mostly because I think Yelena has a very different view of her circumstances and her trauma than either of those two do. She's very pragmatic, and she has very different needs and desires than either Bucky or Natasha. Where Bucky and Natasha are pretty concerned with guilt and redemption and the red in their ledgers--or, as Yelena herself observes, where they're still suffering as a result of their pasts--Yelena seems like the kind of person who can just move on without angsting about it too much. Not that she's amoral or anything, but she just doesn't seem interested in dwelling, or in blaming herself. She doesn't want to fit in anyone's neat and organized system of trauma classification, and in fact, she doesn't. She's clear-eyed about her situation, maybe almost uncomfortably so. And she's doing great, all things considered!

My thesis statement about Yelena's perspective on her experience is basically set forth in the fic here:

Yelena had been childish clay molded into the vessel of a Black Widow—there is little point in mourning or missing the clay she had been. She is whole and unbroken as she is, even if the shape she’s been molded into is dangerous, even if she’s still kind of hollow now that all the chemical compulsion and orders have been poured out.

...

Yelena’s not trying to put herself back together; she’s just trying to fill herself up.

So the question I asked myself was, well, if the ex-assassin and non-con experimentation of it all is not where her trauma is, if that's not what she's still struggling with, what is? And I thought, what we do see her canonically concerned with is her family, and her fellow Widows, so I tackled her trauma from that angle. I did in fact want to show the different ways people carry the pain they've been dealt, and how sometimes that's not going to be in ways you might expect. Like, Yelena is not wracked with guilt over the people she killed, she's not dwelling on the horrors of being made into a Black Widow; none of that is how her trauma is bubbling up or continuing to impact her. The worst of the grief and pain she carries is about her fellow Black Widows, and her perceived failure to save them.

Idk, I guess it all just boils down to me wanting to try a different perspective on this kind of trauma and grief! I wanted it to be true that Yelena is doing really well, that she's genuinely quite happy now that she has a new family she's built and work she's proud of that she can do freely, but that she's also still pretty damn fucked up. With the support group, I wanted to show all these different kinds of ways these characters are dealing with similar back stories, how none of them are right, per se, but that they can all find some more peace and healing by being in community with each other.

One other thing about the fic is that I briefly considered ending it with her finding her fellow Widows--for what it's worth, my authorial intent is that she will in fact eventually find them--but in the end I thought the more important thing was that Yelena hadn't given up hope that she would find them, and that she could now accept help to find them.

[lyxanislive]

Do you have any Shallura family headcanons? Also what are your thoughts on Shiro's family? Or lack thereof. Besides Keith ofc

Why Did this take a year to answer?

I didn't have any head canons. So I had to come up with some. Then those sucked and I changed them. 

So here we go!!!!!

Allura and Shiro don't think they can get pregnant. The whole 10000 year sleep and clone thing not withstanding, some species just don't breed well like Galra and well … anything

They play fast and loose and neither suspect anything until one day Allura gets a weird version of slipperies. Shiro freaks out and goes to Coran who is the first to guess she's pregnant as this is a symptom is pregnant Alteans

After a bunch of tests they find out she is indeed pregnant. Shiro is delighted, Allura is terrified

Because there are no studies for Altean/Human hybrids, Doctors tell Allura she is a high risk pregnancy and want her to take extra precautions 

This makes both Shiro and Coran *and by extension everyone else) treat her like glass that is on a wobbling table and she HATES it

The only person to not treat Allura like a fragile delicate flower is Keith. He becomes her confidante and when she wants everyone to get off her back she goes to hang out with Keith for “massages” or “pedicures” anything to make Shiro think they're not sparing or racing around the desert

Allura has every morning sickness symptom known to humans and Alteans. She hates it.

Hunk meal preps with Shiro every Sunday afternoon and continues to do so for like 6 months after.

Pidge hooks up like 900 baby monitors, even ones that can alert Coran

Lance helps with the nursery and tips for new baby

Matt breaks his finger helping Shiro set up a crib one afternoon

Keith is named the Altean version of God Father for the baby. He cries about it - he continues to keep Alluras secret about rough housing but he eventually stops being her go to trouble maker around month 6 as she is visibly pregnant and doesn't fit on his hover bike well

Romelle learns to knit just for the baby. She is awful at it but puts her whole heart into it. She makes a blanket, booties, hats and ear warmers for the baby

There's not even a discussion when they find out the baby is a boy. Alfor Harmonious Shirogane is just agreed on instantly

Alteans have a gestation period of 6 months. Alfor takes 8 months and Allura is VERY CRANKY and VERY PREGNANT 

Labour is also awful for Allura - 38 hours under several doctors care but when he is finally born Allura is instantly normal as if she didn't just give birth

Alfor has very faint purple altean marks, they sometimes look like bruises. His ears are not fully rounded but nowhere near a full altean length. They do not fit into the pointed ear hats Romelle made. She makes new ones

Everyone cries when they meet Alfor for the first time. Especially Alfor.

Allura goes back to coalition work immediately and Shiro becomes a stay at home dad and he takes to it so well. He's Mr. Mom and even other mothers are impressed how he can get Alfor on a schedule, clean the whole home. He also works out with baby Alfor all the time.

Allura hates she cannot reason with a baby and though she's not a bad mom by any means, she's takes longer to settle into the role than Shiro. Alfor is a bit of a mammas Boy though since he cant see Allura all day he gravitates to her when she is home.

When Alfor is 3 Shiro starts making goo goo eyes about another baby but Allura had an AWFUL time with Alfor thar they start to explore other options

They eventually decide to have at least one more half altean child, and to save Allura the grief and morning sickness and hours of labor they test tube a baby and get a wearable tank for it. Think death stranding but without Norman Reedus. 

For altean fetuses quintessence is vital so Allura has to wake up every 2 hours and transfer quintessence to the baby (because Allura is a litteral God of Alchemy she easily over does it and little does she know is making the 2nd most powerful alchemist in history)

This baby is a girl and Allura wants Shiro to pick the name. He panics and starts naming Anime characters until he falls on Temari and it's very close to an altean name so it gets chosen

Pidge and Lance DO NOT let Shiro forget they KNOW he watches Naruto. They nick name the baby “fighting dreamer” which Allura just thinks is cute but makes Shiro full body cringe when he hears it

Temari Dawn Shirogane is finally ‘hatched’ and by all accounts is healthy. She has bright pink Altean marks and pointed ears and Allura will never say out loud but she is thrilled

Temari walks and speaks late, not because she's incapable but because her brother does EVERYTHING for her. She points and Alfor does. He even speaks for her by understanding her non verbal ques

The siblings are pretty much inseparable but they do fight, despite being younger Temari usually wins because she can shape shift really early on

They are a happy little family with Allura doing coalition work, Shiro being a stay at home dad, and two adorable half Altean babies that are doted on by all the Paladins, Coran and Romelle.

When Alfor is 7 and Temari is 3 Shiro asks Allura if they can adopt someone like they had originally planned to do before the surprise pregnancy. Allura agrees and they set ground rules: under 10 years old, no Galra, has to get along with the kids

They set up “play dates” at Diffrent orphanages because they need to make sure Alfor and Temari are okay with their new sibling. These go okay but they never quite find the last piece to their family

For two weeks Allura is away on a diplomatic mission, and Shiro brings the kids out to visit her and they decide to go to the local orphanage in this star system just to see

While At the orphanage Temari wanders off and sits with a half galra boy just trying to read on his own in the corner. She's still babied by Alfor so she doesn't talk. This kid is annoyed by her at first but eventually gives in and starts reading to her. When she wants to get up she grabs his hand and leads him around and the kid begrudgingly Follows.

He's A 12 year old half galra named Vexel and he reminds Shiro so much of Keith that Shiro's Almost foaming at the mouth to adopt this kid. Allura is unsure.

Later in her stay Allura goes to the orphanage alone to meet Vexel. He's quite - kinda moody - but really smart. Allura asks him if he wants To be adopted and he says “I won't be but thats okay as long as the other kids get good homes.” And this breaks Alluras heart and she calls Shiro right there.

After discussions with Alfor and Temari they foster Vexel, until legally adopting him once he's comfortable.

Alfor Loves his brother but still claims he's the oldest. Vexel and Alfor get along great and Temari is still babied by both of them

Allura winds up taking Vexel on trips a lot to let him explore places and he becomes more of a mammas boy as well

Temari is 100% a daddys girl… and a little princess to her big brothers

Alfors favorite uncle is Lance because he's funny. Temaris is Hunk because he always sneaks her treats. And Vex likes both Keith and Pidge but for different reasons (keith is half galra and drives fast while Pidge is the smartest)

ALL GROWN UP

 Alfor grows up to be an artist. Something neither Shiro or Allura prepared for but the kid has incredible talent so he is sent to great art schools and Allura often gifts one of his many works to any diplomatic place she opens. Shiro still has a lot of his art from when he was a child. Alfor eventually opens up the “Takashi Art Gallery” on earth, the place he feels most at home. He never learned to pilot properly, Shiro blames his skills on his mother.

Temari is a gifted alchemist and winds up studying and learning with other Alteans. She is exceptional at construction Alchemy like her grandfather and has built many ships with her aunt Pidge. She is the first to find the restored “Oriande” after it was thought destroyed by Haggar. Temari is always a daddys girl and Is the best pilot of the siblings. 

Vexel is a Doctor who Specializes in mixed species. He himself Is half galra and growing up with half Altean siblings he has learned a lot. He is the head Doctor at a cross species clinic. As a teen he writes and publishes a paper on his siblings puberty which wins him accolades and a full ride scolarship which MORTIFIES Temari.

Fun things

Morning people: Shiro and Alfor

NOT morning people: Allura, Temari, Vexel

Has crashed a ship: everyone but Shiro

Most Swears: Alfor

Pickiest eater: Temari

Most spoiled: Vexel

Worst jokes: Shiro

Best at sports: Allura

[humankk]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

@floofanflurr tag me it is time, it is my duty (it's really not)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Let me count. ... ... 3

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

25,257... woah

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Undertale...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Bonk! (good name, I know, 57 kudos, I am so proud)

2. They're trying (They sure are! look at them)

3. Now I kind of want some ice cream (...yeah)

4. I only have three

5. help me

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yesssss..... well, most of the time, but I like answering comment...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I, don't know? I have like three and two are oneshot that's happy and another is unfinished but probably would also be happy

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the Bonk one? Like... kinda?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really, people are polite these days... my dear commentors are a delight... for now(???Is this foreshadowing something?????)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

...Not, here.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not! But I wanted to, and is wanting to... there is one that's like Undertale and My hero crossover that I have been planning (read, throwing plot in a document that hasn't been opened for at least 3 months now) for since like... 2-3 years ago, I want to throw Eri in the hole (cmon, someone gotta do it, child with time power she fits the theme!)

Mx. Floof also talked about cross fic crossover... I kinda want to do that too, but like... maybe after I get the fic to a point where I established more lore first, and character, and. things.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! ...I don't think so! ... I would probably be a bit happy if my fic is good enough to be stole but also please don't do it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! Not yet... I could probably translate some to Thai but I, as a Thai person, honestly don't know how to pronouns... in Thai, for the NB characters that is... mostly, for the other characters too, I don't think I could replicate all caps Papyrus does because we just don't have capital letters so the closest thing I could do is add a lot of exclamention marks. Which... uhh... yeah.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really! Sounds fun though.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Hm, I haven't think about that, that or I forgot (<-aromantic) Alphyne is nice, canon one and stuffs, Soriel is nice too.... I honestly don't really have a lot of opinion on ships as long as it isn't like, the horrible ones(tm) just... if they're happy then that's cool, good for them (both the characters and the readers and authors)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The MHA crossover... okay not really like EVER but like, as you can see I haven't touched it for months, it'll probably be in... a while (I planned on it being like, long, and the story plan haven't even got past Snowdin like, linearly) I guess the other fics are like, oneshots I do in a meantime for fun (then They're Trying happened... as a oneshot, and I suddenly wanted to continue it so I guess they're getting to the surface now... like eventually) Oh OH! There's also the immortal Vampire child Chara thing... I want to do that, but a lot of thing isn't really planned enough to make yet probably... and I don't think if I do it it'll be a fic? Maybe I'll do a comic... or an askblog... that would be fun... but it sounds like a lot of work............

16. What are your writing strengths?

Not sure, maybe internal dialogue?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

P A C I N G and making it clear what's going on... probably (helps me with Pacing, the speed is all over the place sometimes I just speedrun sometimes I hyperfocus on a timeframe... or maybe that's okay, I don't know)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have thought of... writing a fic where it's just Undertale but Frisk talks in Thai and they just, know dogshit about English, that would be fun... though you probably won't know what's going on and I probably can't do the whole internal dialog thing with them and.... pronouns... and also the alphabeth looks like อย่างงี้ so you probably can't even READ it, I can't really decide if I should type it in english in what it SOUNDS like? but then you can't throw it in google translate to know what they're talking about? and I also don't want people to HAVE to throw it in google translate to know what's going on? ...maybe I should stole the intent reading thing from Floof, that would probably helps a bit... making it Chara's pov and they just have to read Frisk's intent and emotion to figure out what they're trying to say, maybe they can send some back to helps them communicate with the monsters... or something

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Undertale, if I has wrote any before it's not in English and I don't remember it

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

...I love all of them, Bonk is fun and is kinda like my start... They're Trying is like... the current one I am very attached to, since it's the only multichapter one

tags?

...well I don't know, just whoever see this, that writes that is, I am sure there aren't a lot, my usual mutual mostly... it's like 3am in US now I don't want to tag now okay? but yeah if you see this feel free to do it I want to read those I might like... study it under a microscope or something (...what?)

[gabessquishytum]

welp okay i guess it's gladiator piss time!! so, once again, not all that into the piss itself but really quite into the desperation side etc etc. and imo the corinthian would be so into it too! so. he's in charge of training hob to be dream's new personal bodyguard, right. and he can't be having hob wandering off at random times to relieve himself! he'd be leaving dream vulnerable!

so the corinthian has hob fitted with a cock cage and a nice thick sound that can be locked in. the corinthian can come by himself a couple times a day with a second guard to leave with dream, and he'll take hob off, unlock the sound, entertain himself by fucking hob's cock with it for a bit before he lets him actually piss... sometimes he'll fuck hob first, while he's full and squirming and desperate and he'd do anything if the corinthian just unlocks him at the end.

the corinthian tells himself that this is definitely for practical reasons. not because he actually thinks it makes dream safer -- more because he has quite a nice little side business going. hob made enough of a name for himself as a gladiator that a jar of his piss fetches a nice sum on the right markets.

it's definitely not because of how fun hob is to play with! and it's definitely not because of how pretty he is when the corinthian backs him up against a wall and presses at the little swell of his stomach where he's aching and full. it's fun, having this much power over someone and especially over someone as strong and capable as hob.

and, likewise, hob tries to tell himself that the reasons he doesn't try to get himself out of this are practical. the cage is honestly pretty helpful when it comes to trying not to let dream know how into him he is, since he doesn't have to worry any more about hiding his own erections when he hears dream masturbating or wakes up with dream grinding against his ass. and he was worried about leaving dream unguarded, and that's taken care of too! it's definitely not just that he's discovering whole new kinks he didn't know he had, of course not.

(dream is, of course, fully aware of this whole thing. they're not as subtle as they think they are. and if dream has taken a real interest lately in making sure his favourite bodyguard stays well-hydrated throughout the day... well, he is the emperor. he's allowed to join in on the fun.)

-🐈‍⬛

Chanting softly gladiator piss, gladiator piss....

I adore this. The control, the teasing. Yeah. Just imagine Hob in his skimpy guards uniform, trying to disguise the fact that his tummy is all bloated and aching. He's had so much to drink because the emperor insisted and he couldn't really say no, could he? Now he's squirming on the spot and biting his lip. It's not like he has to worry about having an accident, it's just that it hurts! And it's so humiliating to know that Cori is leering at him the whole time.

Just when he thinks he might cry from all that pressure, he's dismissed to take a short break, while several more guards are brought in to take his place. Cori follows him as always and immediately takes great pleasure in groping his belly, pressing on the heavy swollen area until Hob’s knees start to tremble. Before he's allowed to pee he has to put up with a wealth of teasing... The Corinthian whispers in his ear about how pathetic he is with his poor little bladder all filled up, what a baby he is for whimpering and crying while his cock is mercilessly fucked with the sound. Cori takes great delight in fingering Hob, stimulating his prostate because he knows it makes his bladder even more sensitive.

The relief of being allowed to piss is nearly orgasmic, and Hob trembles in Cori's arms as it all floods out. He's been such a good boy again, and he didn't even make a mess! There's even time for him to get down and suck Cori's cock - then it'll be back to guarding the emperor, and the sound will be safely back in his cock.

And the Corinthian’s little side business? He's got just one client who exclusively buys Hob’s piss - won't take anyone else's. Apparently he buys it for his master, a very important man who won't disclose his identity. Cori has a pretty good idea of who it might be... but the secret is safe with him. For now.

[daychiie]

hi hi! 1, 4 and 12 for the manga asks :D

LITOOOO HIII HAPPY NEW YEAR 🥳🥳🥳🥳 CONGRATS IN THE IZUTSUMI IN THE DUNMESHI OPENING HIII!!!! Thanks for the ask,took a while cause laptop busted forfed to type on my phone tragic so tragic <\3 but we stay silly!!! 🥳🥹👍

1. Your top 5 reads of 2023

I already answered this one here, but you know what ? Let me make a....top 6 to 10?! JGDJKSJFJ also honestly kinda funny cause most of those are things I got into because of you lol the influence the power 💪💪💪

Gowon for symmetry

You and I are Polar Opposites - the popular gyaru likes the glasses loner, they're opposites...omg so how they gonna be together? Is she ever going to confess? Yes it happens in chapter one JFJSJFJDJAJDJ. I really wasn't expecting that when I started but it was a nice surprise. As much as I can enjoy seeing the before of a relationship it's is nice sometimes just going after things officialized. The whole cast is a delightful, it's a extremely sweet and fun read, love to see all those characters friendship evolve too. I just wish some characters had a lil more focus,like I can only remember like ...one chapter with the short black haired girl lol.

Hirayasumi - OUGH MY EVERYTHING. What if we were just having a good time. Trully a comfort manga,very dear to me I'm so happy the hiatus gonna end soon!!!!

Romance 101 - just like polar opposites that's another romance that focus on the friendships of the cast, what it always really really nice <3 Bareum is such a adorkable sweetheart! It's really fun and nicely written!!!

She Loves to Eat and She Loves to Cook - ELAAAAS AAAAAA AS QUERIDAAAAS!!!!! It's so nice. At times it feels a bit awkward with on-the-nose metaphors and almost educational with it's message, but those two are such darlings. And I love the new characters as well. Loved the drama as well,excited for season two this month :]

Your Wings and Mine - I wondered if this one counts or not, cause it's not a manga but I already put other webtoons lol. Anyway it's a hysterical comedy absurd non-sense (sometimes maybe a little too much,but just sometimes) and well. It is funny. And I feel invested in the story, I really enjoy Shealtiel arc so far, it really pulls off very well the serious tone when needed!!

4. An underrated gem

Ice Castle Wall - same mangaka of Polar Opposites, IT IS REALLY REALLY GOOD SO FAR!!!!! The vibe is a little less cheerful, but still funny and nice. I feel is just more underrated because unlike their sister it's not licensed, it got a scan working on it but only recently so there's less than 10 chapters avaliable in english for now. I check daily waiting for more. BUT YEAH, because of that is a little less accessable </3 I hope that more people get into it in the future:]

I'm already in love with the protagonist Koyuki,the whole cast so far is very nice!!! It's kinda funny Amamiya going all "I gonna unlock the barriers this person is putting up, we gonna becomes friends cause it brings me satisfaction". Like he's playing mind games to get a good score in social interaction. Meanwhile Koyuko is with her autistic swag playing mind games trying to get out of those situations in the less awkward way she can. It's amazing!!!

12. A manga that made you look forward to every update

I guess every single one of my favorites that still releasing fits here, so hmmn... Aside from that I think Merry Marbling !!

It's a ongoing BL very neat. It's nothing extraordinary, but it's fun. It's by the same author of Robber X Lover and overall I share similar feelings about both manhwas: I really appreciate how it doesn't feel like is following a formula, the characters realize their feelings and deal with situations with not super cliche way. I feel like how genuinely is trying to give more identity for their own characters. It's also funnily stupid and absurd at times and it's mostly aware of it. The art is very adorable too!!