#sometiems it does usually it just gets more smelly

[oysterie]

sometimes i put a little more water into the mold growth at the bottom of the work trash bin to see if it grows more over the next week

[thebloodychampion]

My Mental Health

This is under read more cause it is quiet long:

I have Disorgasnized Schizophrenia. I say have not suffer, because I don’t suffer. I have it all my life as long as I can remember and it causes me no harm, at least not on my body. Again I am getting way overboared here.

So what is Disorganized Schizophrenia, it is a subtype of schizophrenia, like paranoid schizophrenia and catanotic schizophrenia (this type is very rare). There are either types as well.

This type of schizophrenia has an early onset, between the age of 15 to 25. So it surfaces in adolesence, unlike the other subtypes who almost always surface in the late 20’s.

The characteristic is mostly disorganized thoughts, speech and behaviour. Inappropriate expressions and flat emotions. Halluzination and dellusions are not as prominent. Although I do have them sometimes, but not as vivid and out of the world like someone with paranoid schizophrenia. I do however have everything else and let me tell you one thing, being messy or being sometimes forgetful is nothing against that.

It goes so far that I sometiems forget to shower or brush my teeth. It’s also called grossly disorganized behaviour. But over the years I have gotten better, I don’t do this because I want to be awful and smelly, I just forget about it or my brain does not feel like it is important.

Disorganized thoughts are sometimes a pain, since I have to memories everything before I talk to someone. It gets especially hard to order something for example and you get to the point of speaking to the person, only to have your brain shut you out and everyone thinks you are a slow idiot. A main reason why I don’t like talking on the telephone.

Disorganized speech is the one thing I have in control, or at least it isn’t so bad. I sometimes jump between topics but I usually try to keep these things in order. Hell this whole post is a huge clusterfuck of information. But in the end there is google and you can search for disorganized schizophrenia or hebephrenic schizophrenia.

The most prominent thing people will notice about me or at least when they talk to me is my lack of emotional response. I simple cannot feel them, even when I do like something it might look like I just well find it normal. If I don’t tell people that I like the stuff that I am doing, nobody would even believe it. Since well I don’t react like a healthy person.

This disorder, this mental health problem, it prevents me from working. Not that I am sad about it, just imagine having to deal with such things for years until you finally have the right people to believe you.