#sometiems i feel like scratching myself til i bleed
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woooahah bad thiughts
#everyday i get closer to actually self harming 👎#the thiughts!!! dont go away!!!!#ya know.#like. my anxiety meds do nothing but make me sleep deprived and unable to cry#i act more stable ehen im on them#but not having a way to deal eith anxiety just makes my intrusive thoughts worse#ive had like. suicidal thoughts for years now#but ive never actually hurt myself#but its getting hard to deal woth#sometiems i feel like scratching myself til i bleed#or just banding my head against my wall#but i dont because *anxiety*#but ofc when im on ANXIETY meds thats not really. an issue#so when im on them i have less restraint#im less. careful#like at this point id do it if i wouldnt get put a mental hospital#that just aint sound too fun#i hate hospitals bc trauma (long. long story)#my anxiety meds feel like torture basically#my intrusive thiughts get worse and i cant sleep#but i have no eay of dealing with that bc when im on the meds i cant make myself cry or let out emotion p much#its bad#but when i say smthing abt that my mom goes *but you ACT more stable!!!*#like yeah bitch i cant express emotions properly 🧍♂️#but uh#yeha im having suicidal thoughts 🕺#suicide tw#vent#dont rb#haha dont read this pleade <3
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