#something like general topics both people can give input to were intitiated by her (idk like what made you interested in studying this l

[ctl-yuejie]

a bit of a reality check here (and yes, i am going to ask this question in a very biased way anyways), but:

AITA for not wanting another date when the woman you’re meeting doesn’t ask any questions about yourself for like the 5 hours you spend together and approx. talks 1/3 about her ex-girlfriend?

When I told her that I wasn’t really thinking about a second date because of it, she said she was too nervous at first (which is true, she almost 180°ed when I met up with her and was too shy to look into my direction for several minutes) and that she prefers to text people for a long time before meeting, which is where she asks about things she’s interested in (we texted for 1.5 months before meeting which isn’t really my style and I was accordingly bad at texting: she texted me good morning and good night everyday and i was happy when i managed to text her and/or reply to her once a day. I like to think that I tried)

but I still feel it is weird to just talk about yourself and your ex (at hour 4 I gave up on talking about myself without any prompt because whatever I said would be the first and last thing we’d exchange on that topic).

in good (?) news: I know get how Uncle Jim in MLC felt, because she still lives with her ex of 5 years and it did come up very often in conversation. While Wen didn’t tell him, Uncle Jim was 100% right that it makes things really tiring because the other person clearly isn’t in the mindset to start sth new.

If anyone is the type to text a lot before meeting someone: anything where this disconnect can be mitigated?

because I always thought it was standard (and at least my preference) to meet up very early to suss out the vibes. But maybe it’d be better in these cases to not start anything when you’re not texting back as frequently in the first place?