#something clicked in my head to make this a moon divorce parallel | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tipsyrosay · 7 years ago

Text

sun and moon | jjk

pairing: jungkook x female reader

genre: angst (what’s new!!)

word count: 2,501

a/n: this was loosely based on my personal experience, and yeah just wanted to share this piece that means a lot to me:-)

“So what’s it for you, y/n? Seoul National or Yonsei University?”

Before your brain could formulate the perfect answer, a rather awkward chuckle broke the air, shifted the spotlight on the doe eyed boy sitting opposite you. With honey brown tousled hair, you swore you would salivate if you continued ogling it. But it seemed to you, that you were caught in action, as a pair of eyes peeked at you, occasionally meeting yours, as if playing a game of peek-a-boo.

He’s Jungkook, if you were wondering, Namjoon muttered under his breath, smug look in place, as he nudged your shoulder playfully, and all it took was a smack on his head, to shut that mouth of his, you could proudly proclaim. He’s a keeper, I promise you, his name, the only thing that escapes the mouth of all these hormonal driven teenage girls, Namjoon reports to you, hand briefly waving across the crowd as if this was a skit that casted you as the detective and Namjoon as the fellow sidekick, not that you would deny.

Back to those eyes that shy away from yours, every time you find them. There was something—akin to melancholy in them, you noticed. You wanted to ask if he was alright but the fact that you barely knew him, stopped you from doing so. You figured he wasn’t just another cute boy.

The next time you found yourself staring at those eyes was at your school’s ice hockey match. Of all things, you didn’t expect Jungkook to be an ice hockey player, from your university, come to think about it, no wonder they asked which university you were schooling at, because they were arrogant, self centred and everything he wasn’t, and somehow it was a pleasant surprise as you saw his brown mob of hair invade your vision as the players were introduced, his eyes finding yours, a playful mirth in them, before his hand managed a wave at you. The game was rather interesting, it being your first game that you have attended, and definitely not the last, you decided then. After the game ended, the boys quickly pushed you towards Jungkook,rather forcefully and it ended really awkwardly with him sporting a blush, and you all choked up with your not so subtle infatuation with the doe eyed boy. With his arms positioned in front of you, you thought he was going to go in for a hug, and your inner awkward gal was screaming frantically, until you realised he already walked past you, striding towards another. And to your disappointment, it was a rather beautiful girl, you couldn’t place a finger on her name yet, but now that you’ve taken a good look at her, it tallied with whoever he was crooning about for the past several weeks and it registered in your mind. If it ain’t any more possible, you felt your heart drop to your stomach, leaving its chambers open, empty and vulnerable for everyone to see.

Therefore you came up with a plan, to save your already doomed fate, from further falling for Jeon Jungkook, the one appearing in your dreams. You found the saying ‘absence makes the heart fonder’ pretty relatable and disheartening, as you now found yourself staring at his silhouette, when you used to be the one he was facing. You avoided him at all costs, employing Namjoon and sometimes even Taehyung to play your fake boyfriend, hoping it would get to him. But those tactics of yours were childish and useless as it only seemed to hurt you even more, to your dismay.

You were petty, you admitted it, but because you felt cheated, betrayed, lead on. Apparently those playful teasing, accidental glances meant so more to you than to him. Maybe because you wished for something to happen, that you amplified everything that happened. After a whole three months, you decided to give up, on this childish game, that comprised of you, the only player. You found time to hang around with more friends, relishing in the youth that is never everlasting, and cherishing the friendships you’ve forged over the past few years, burying your feelings for that Jeon kid.

The next time you heard of him was when the boys were discussing over their favourite otp that comprised of jungkook and his new girl, which have yet to broken up, which didn’t surprise you, because judging from his appearance, one would think he would be the type to dump girls as and when he pleases, hitting up night clubs on weekdays, but you knew him better than that. That the boy in front of you is nothing like that description, and that was what got you hooked, back in the day.

Now you knew better, than to love with your heart, that it is wiser to love with your mind, because at least you would hurt less, and so that’s what you thought, until you saw the username ‘goldenjeonxx’ pop up in your dms, and once again you reacted faster than your brain could process, as your fingers tapped on the notification, it’s words staring back at you.

goldenjeonxx: hey, you free to talk?

goldenjeonxx: okay that sounded so random but yeah

You seriously considered replying to him, because what if this was just a prank, or another one of those tactics, that he pulled several months back?

popsbopsgops: yo jeon! you alright there buddy?

goldenjeonxx: umm look, i will appreciate if you keep this between us and not tell the boys pls, it will hurt them to know that i’m keeping this from them, but there’s no other way.

The thought of telling them came to mind, if it seemed as serious as he made it out to be. But if he trusted you, then you saw no reason for you to break that.

popsbopsgops: hey hey don’t worry alright, it’s not my story to tell anyway :-)

goldenjeonxx: phew, i always knew i could count on you bro.

The younger you would have shed a tear at that sentence, but you outgrew it already, thankfully. Silently waiting as he continued to type, you brought out your night stash of popcorn, and began devouring it.

goldenjeonxx: typing...typing

goldenjeonxx: hey i’m really sorry that i’m disturbing you at such an ungodly hour, if you don’t want to talk, it’s alright.

popsbopsgops: look jeon, if i say i’m here to listen, i’ll be here. so don’t worry about me. go ahead & spill.

goldenjeonxx: your wish is my command madame y/n, then. it’s about my parents. every night i come home to them, screaming and fighting , today was the polar opposite until they spilled the beans and announced their divorce.

Unknowingly, you exited Instagram and dialed his number right ahead. The night was spent Jungkook vomiting our his sorrows as he sobbed, a side you rarely saw, as you remained silent over the line. It was something you picked over the years, that sometimes what people need is simply a listening ear, and that was what you gave him. This thing—whatever you called it, carried on for another month and it left you thinking on your bed, whether it was appropriate, for him to be spilling his ‘secrets’ to you, his friend. But for all you know, his girlfriend could have already known. But you hated to say it, but from the tone of it, it seemed as if he was suppressing it, and finally reached his limit.

You felt silly for thinking too deeply into the matter, but what exactly was going on in your life anymore? Jungkook is a friend to you, but lately, the lines seemed to have blurred again and it seems to parallel what happened few months ago and you knew that you weren’t ready for another one sided infatuation or whatever it was called, no more.

He sobbed again, and you felt your heartstrings tug, a feeling that has yet to recently show a reappearance.

“So y/n, do enlighten us, when are you ever going to get a boyfriend?” Hoseok peered over at you, eyes masked with curiosity, but the question itself got you choking, on the fried rice you were chewing, causing everyone’s attention to return to you. You decided to be bold and directed your gaze towards Jungkook,

I need someone that understands me, that will believe in me even when I don’t, to love me for who I am.

but he continued eating his meal, eyes focused ahead and for a millisecond, you felt let down again. Not that you had a right to, but seems as if life decided to make you its newest target. “It’s been tough to find the right one, Hoseok.But it’s not like you can relate, right?” The boys went into a frenzy, slapping Hoseok’s shoulder, laughing their heads off, and at that moment you noticed Jungkook staring in your direction, and for the slightest moment, you thought you saw the playful mirth, once again, before the indifference washed over, and he resumed eating, as if it didn’t happen in the first place.

Her name is Yeon Woo, you knew her from school too. The both of you clicked after attending several talks together, coincidentally, and a friendship blossomed from there. She was the peanut to your butter, someone that brought out the hilarious and wild side of you and people always said the both of you were like the dynamic duo. Therefore, it surprised you nonetheless, when Jungkook announced he was dating her, 2 months ago, because you felt left out. That she didn’t let you in on the news before broadcasting it to the rest of the school. However, it didn’t take a toll on your friendship but you respected that maybe she wasn’t comfortable in sharing about her relationships with you, perhaps.

You felt oddly guilty, for some reason. That you were discussing somewhat ‘private’ matters with Jungkook behind her back. But what made you remain steadfast was the fact that you helped him with the intention of helping a friend. If no one mentioned it, one could hardly even notice that these two were even a couple. They were not seen going out together, people even speculated that they already broke up, and the fact that he used to send her home, but no longer does so anymore, says something. Maybe it is your wishful thinking, after all, again.

Nowadays, it’s becoming a regular occurrence in which he confides in you and it reached a point that you broke down in frustration because he really seemed to be in pain, but there was nothing you could do anymore to help, as ultimately it is his own problem to solve. Previously before this whole confiding issue, the two of you could barely be considered as friends but rather as acquaintances who saw each other every week through their mutual friends. But now, it feels as if it had progressed to a friendship after all those nights of ranting and music recommendations. You enjoyed talking to him, you realised, but the reminder of Yeon Woo painfully put in your place, making you keep your distance. And that was what brought Jungkook outside of your theatre class, hands tucked into the pockets of his grey sweatpants, hood covering those brown locks, with the consistent tapping of his foot against the floor. Your musky fragrance underlined with a hint of sandalwood and vanilla caught his attention and in response, he held your gaze, before reaching forward to grab your wrist, making you follow his lead. His grip was somewhat gentle and fragile, as if he was afraid that he would break you. You shrugged away his grip upon reaching the alley next to the cafeteria. If your eyes didn’t fool you, you thought you saw Yoongi walking past, and you were inclined to dodge your head, in embarrassment, for some reason. But what Jungkook said next was the real deal breaker and made you cease in your movements.

“Hey, is everything alright y/n? I mean like you haven’t been online recently, so it made me think if there was something going on, whether you were doing fine,” sensing your stare, he fumbled with his words. “If you’re facing any difficulties or what, I’m here,alright,” he took your hand in his and you froze. You struggled to string your sentences because what were you supposed to say, that you were avoiding him because you felt ashamed of your growing feelings for him, or because his girlfriend was your best friend and it felt so wrong yet right doing this?

“You don’t have to worry, y/n, if that’s what is stopping you. I won’t tell anyone, not even Yeon Woo—“

“She is your sun, someone that energises you and makes you glow, from the inside, sending butterflies to your stomach. Everyone can see her, she doesn’t shy away from the crowd, instead basking in the attention that is shone on her. You need her because she will always be there for you.” It broke your heart to say that aloud but it was the harsh reality and someone just had to say it. But you didn’t know if you were reminding yourself or telling Jungkook.

“Everyone loves her, you do too. I can see it in your eyes, even when you think no one ever notices.” You continued, “You desperately hold onto something, even if hurts you, because even if it makes the other hate you, it’s better than being ignored.” Ignoring the stinging tears that were growing by the minute, you dared yourself to look at the boy in front of you. The one boy that is capable of turning your world upside down with a flick of his tongue. That doe eyed boy, who you allowed back into your heart.

He remains in his position, looking at you with an unreadable expression, as he spoke his mind.“Whereas, I dare say, You’re my moon. Someone that I confide in, at the darkest hours of the night, when everyone else is asleep and my mind is awake from all the thoughts that swim their way around me. Someone that treats me indifferently in the day but showers me with concern, at night , when you think no one else is watching. Although different in shape at times, your heart remains the same, genuine as always.”

You resist the urge to step forward and hug him, because you remember that the both of you were still in school compound and he was not yours to do as you pleased. So, you settled with a pat on his back, as the tears come crashing down, inevitably soaking his hoodie. He doesn’t say anything in response, but you felt the ghost of his palm lingering on your lower back.

“But you can’t have the both of us, not at the same time. The world doesn’t work that way.” You whispered under your breath, loud enough for his ears to pick up.

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