#something about yohan wanting gaon to SEE him and needing gaon to stay

[technitango]

"He related to me so much that... I was a bit flustered. I've never experienced that before."

fatima aamer bilal // chen chen // georges bataille // kristina haynes // sk osborn

[kdramastrix]

I have. Something to talk about and its very very VERY important.

We know that last scene of TDJ where its just PEAK yearning but can we PLEASE appreciate the micro-expressions that passed over both Yohan & Gaon's faces when they faced each other DIRECTLY after a MONTH (if im not wrong) of that whole blowing up fiasco + Yohan's arrest before that??????? Because my GOD.

So we see Gaon call Yohan by his Full Government Name™ (which wasn't very wise for a declared dead enemy of the state who is ALSO wanted but we'll let it pass for romanticisms' sake) and look at his face. His face is one of a scared man. He's not hesitant but he is afraid of how Yohan views him after what transpired between them.

In turn, Yohan looks back and well.

He is also somewhat apprehensive. They're both testing each other & the waters they're in. Although Yohan doesn't have a revenge vendetta shackling him down anymore, Gaon, on the other hand, has tremendous stuff to unpack. They're carefully, if not gently, evaluating the distance between them.

And then, Yohan gives a clear sign that he holds nothing against Gaon. An open arm, an open invitation. To join him? Maybe. To decide what to do with them? Perhaps. It's vague but it's also clear that Yohan is done manipulating Gaon & that he has left the ball in Gaon's court.

Then come the positive changes. With Yohan's green signal, Gaon is somewhat relieved but also incredibly guilt-ridden. I think these frames speak for themselves.

The wet smile & the eye crinkles. He is so relieved to be in Yohan's good graces but also just looking at Yohan be his ever glowing self after serving his life's purpose.

Yohan. My dearest Yohan. Look at him. He's equally heart-broken to be seeing Gaon like this, to be leaving him behind but that little nod he does???? Like he's made a decision that he needs to stick with for the betterment of Gaon???? That's what truly gets me. It's so clear the distance between them is hurting him but he also knows that it's necessary to give Gaon space & time, to unravel & to explore things on his own. Perhaps another assumption on his part because who truly knows what Gaon wants except Gaon himself?

Then it's a brief look exchanged. As he turns, giving Gaon one last reassuring smile as he turns and leaves behind one of the most important people to him.

And gaon watches. Look at his micro-expressions here. Look at his breathing. His sagging shoulders. His eyes. His wet smile. His balled hands. His tiny nods.

He also thinks this is necessary but you can so clearly see its taking every bit of nerve & fiber in him to stay rooted to his place & not chase after Yohan. He's DELIBERATELY not taking a single step towards Yohan. He thinks he doesn't deserve to chase after him, that hes content to see Yohan: alive, well and so utterly free. That's all that matters.

I would genuinely like to appreciate both jinyoung and jisung for their acting bcs they NAILED the raw emotions needed for this absolutely stunning yet gut wrenching scene. It's so difficult to convey such complex emotions through such little means yet they did it to PERFECTION. They both gave their characters LIFE. And for that i will always be grateful bcs i dont think anyone else could've done Kang Yohan and Kim Gaon the way they did.

[clawbehavior]

not actually a question, but a declaration and a thanks.

I love your stories, Enantiomer is especially my personal favorite! I had a greedy moment after I finished reading chapter 3, write a comment that may or may not seem delirious bcs there were things I think I missed (I forgot which is the older twin from Gaon and Isaac), the small things like that. I decided to immediately reread the whole story and I thought, these 3 chapters are enough!

let me tell you, I always shed tears reading the 2nd chapter. chapter 3 feels like having your prayers answered/ a breeze in a very hot weather. it just feels right and peaceful, hopeful ending. the ending is enough to make me wonder how the characters will fare in the future but i have faith they're in a happy place. it's that kind of story for me.

i will reign my excitement and overflowing feelings for this story of yours as to not scare you off or make you overwhelmed with my responses here and there. thankyou you wonderful human!

i once read this beautiful post by Paulo Cohelo where he described getting a comment from a reader across the world about how touching they found The Alchemist, so he got up and and went outside and looked up at the sky. reading your comment made me understand what he meant by that, what he felt, and why he did it. 

i'm so, so happy that 'enantiomers' touched you deeply. because i also care about them deeply. like you, i felt hurt for yohan in chapter 2 and relief for their growing family in chapter 3. but as you know, being a creator means wondering if your art/story/plot/setting/characterization that you experience so richly when creating them also come across like that to your reader; if someone will be similarly moved by your story as you. and you got it!!! you picked up on all these tiny and crucial details; the differences between the twins, how kang jisang had left an impression on isaac, gahan's hyung kink, that gaon badly wanted to be loved and yohan badly wanted to give it to him. getting your comments made writing that story worth it. 

i totally agree that the fic left off on a hopeful note even if the way forwards seems unclear. strong emotions like theirs take time to fully resolve, no matter how genuine the effort behind it. but i know they get through it. gaon and yohan actively include isaac (and his little family) in their lives. they show up when things get tough, congratulate each other on their wins, push each other gently when needed, and are there for each other. isaac's whole thing with their relationship stemmed from a fear of change and losing yohan. but seeing yohan be healthy and happy and being actively included in their lives settles him. as a result, gaon feels secure too. 

actually, reading your comments made me want to write a version of this story where kim deji is alive, gahan still falls in love, and she lovingly guides everyone through that transition. it starts with gaon waiting for his train on an outdoor platform and watching trains pull in and out of the station. he makes eye contact with a university student through the glass. it shouldn't be anything big except that the young man visibly starts and says something to gaon through the glass. gaon blinks back in confusion, but the train is already pulling out of the station. the young man frantically runs the length of it inside while gaon watches. gaon sees him mouthing the words ishmael and isaac, realizes that this man knows his brother/his family and they share a grief stricken look before the train pulls away completely. 

gaon stays rooted to the platform. he misses his train. but it's worth it because yohan gets down at the next station and runs all the way back to the older man, catching hold of him. gaon can barely make out what the younger man is saying, talking a mile a minute as he is, until yohan pulls out his phone, calls kim deji, and gaon hears his mother's voice for the first time in decades. 

--

a little gift for you for your lovely comments. i will cherish them deeply. thank you. 

[neurobivergent]

There's something so alarmingly vulnerable about the scene where gaon asks yohan to join them for a game night. I've been putting this one off forever so here we go

We learn from the priest that yohan has always been someone who never fit in. The kids around him chalked it up to him being weird, disturbing even. When in reality, he was just a child who wanted friends. Being treated like an outcast at such a young age is incredibly damaging to a child and its the kind of trauma that you carry forever. Which is what happened, right? People constantly showed him he didn't belong and he eventually believed in it. And as time went by, he modeled his whole personality around it. As miserable as that sounds, it's not actually, the worst thing on the planet. Eventually, you get used to it so much that you stop noticing it.

But what about here, in this scene? Here yohan is in a place where he has family, he has people. He knows he's not alone. Yet, you see him hesitate. Because that's what happens when your childhood trauma catches up with you. Even after you've found your people, you feel like you can never truly fit in, like you'll constantly stay stuck at the edge, like if you try to go any further, it'll all go up in smoke.

Somehow though, there's still a twisted part of your brain that tells you that what you have is a luxury. That this is as good as it gets and that it's infinitely better than the alternative. And on most nights, you're fine, happy even. But you'll always have moments where you want more because just being near the light and warmth and laughter isn't enough. You want to touch it, feel it for yourself. But you never know how to. So you say you're not into it, like you couldn't be bothered to indulge in simple pleasures. And all it takes is for one person to see through the facade of indifference.

Which is exactly what gaon did. he went to the priest to dig up dirt on yohan and ended up empathizing with the little kid who just wanted someone to reach out(OF COURSE HE DID). When he invited yohan to join them, he didn't use a lot of words, because that'll make him act all defensive. Didn't mock/force him, because it's a sore spot.

He just stood there, silently saying, "you belong with us. You know you belong with us. But if you ever had a doubt, this is me telling you, we want you" and yohan? Well, that's precisely what he needed. Someone who would choose him, willingly, explicitly.

All gifs by @b612sunsets ❤️

[b612sunsets]

Let’s talk about episode 8 and what a crazy ride it was. Time to analyze, theorize and be a clown.

Yohan was talking about how he deals with his enemies in here:

But I think it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to interpret it both ways. Maybe the words apply to Yohan’s sexuality too. In my episode 8 post I was right about Yohan wanting to take back the necklace and trying to choke/kill Sunah in the process but that much was kinda obvious. I was not expecting Gaon to actually see and interrupt them. “TF, I’m the only one you can choke” jk. It was nice.

We were fed with more Gahan and Elijah domesticity moments as a family. Yohan is like “I gave you some much needed space but you need to come back home, our daughter misses you” (she isn’t the only one 👀):

The parents arrive and Elijah is happy about it but they need to have an adult conversation first. I want to include how Yohan is the one doing acts of service this time around even if it’s only coffee.

Yohan sitting at the opposite far end of Gaon’s seat is so cute. He tries to put some distance between them because his walls are still high. It’s his known trait of wanting to be in control and not give room to the chance of getting caught off guard or be too vulnerable with Gaon. 

In this ask that anon sent me about Yohan’s true nature/intentions and “suspicious behavior” one of the things I said was:

Yohan hasn’t been messing with my head for a few episodes now because if you look closely he always is honest or jokes while saying the truth and you can interpret it either way you want. He doesn’t care about convincing people of his true intentions and leaves out the details until the person can conclude or see for themselves like it happens with Gaon so many times.

Yohan is pretty much saying he would have killed Gaon the moment he started intervening with his plans and snooping around, it wouldn’t be the first nor the last time. But he didn’t want to have to do that. He preferred to have Gaon on his side and alive and he put time and effort in doing it with the best of his capabilities so that he could say he did try everything he could. Why’s that? Gaon showed a kindness in their first day of work that Yohan doesn’t believe exists in the world. After spying on him and putting bugs in his office, Gaon risked his own life for Yohan’s. It was the decisive thing for Yohan to abandon any plans of getting rid of him if needed.

He likes Gaon and cares about him not only because his face looks like Isaac’s, it was a set of factors that made Gaon earn Yohan's loyalty and reluctant affection. Once someone is able to enter Yohan’s inner small circle of close people and gain his trust, Yohan does EVERYTHING to protect them, be it the few friends he has or Gaon that became much more than that, he’s seen as a family member. Something nicely explained in @xxcaribbean​’s analysis (check it out if you haven’t, Noel did a great job writing it and pointed out some amazing things) and that I have noticed and talked about before too.

Right after that we have Elijah talking to Gaon as if him and Yohan are really her parents haha. I mean c’mon, it totally looks like something a father and sass daughter would say to each other:

Gaon was promoted to ahjussi status like Yohan lmao. Guess that’s what parenting does to you. The best thing is Elijah suggesting casually that they kill the fraudster responsible for Gaon’s parents death. It should be wrong but why do I love this family of three little killer geniuses so much?

I’m like “you’re doing amazing, sweetie!” 😻👏

Elijah visiting Gaon’s house made me think of the theory that maybe in the future Elijah, Yohan and Gaon will live together in this house (a much simpler and cute one) because Yohan hates the mansion and has too many bad memories there, even if he’s making new good ones. Or maybe not. Maybe they will stay in the mansion or move to another place. I wouldn’t mind much, as long as they’re together, happy and alive.

We finally got to see Gaon’s plants again and it was brilliant when Soohyun called him out for living elsewhere when he already has a house to which Gaon answers he needs to take care of his plants, but there’s someone in the mansion that needs his care too (Elijah yes, but it wasn’t specified so it can and it does include Yohan, we’ve seen countless proof of that by now):

This seemed like a goodbye, a last time kind of scene:

Gaon reunited with the two people that helped him in the past and he’s grateful for. He changed his goals (back to what they always were and the person Gaon truly is because he was stopped from doing so back then) and is deciding to part ways because they’re not playing on the same side anymore and he has two other people with the same mindset that are helping him now.

I want to point out Gaon meeting K because it means Gaon is officially a part of Yohan’s world AND it was so funny to me. Look at this and tell me if Gaon doesn’t sound and look like a bf/husband with an annoyed/protective/jealous attitude towards Yohan’s close friend and right arm and Yohan getting amused by their passive aggressiveness? LOL. Typical “best friend meeting boyfriend and getting competitive". I hope to see them ganging up together on Yohan to tease him at some point too, like it happened with Elijah and Gaon.

Their little secret base. It was so satisfying to see everything fall into place and discover their backstories and reasons for joining Yohan. Sometimes Yohan reminds me of Iron-man/Tony Stark with his AI butler/secretary, the opening his arms gesture to Gaon, some traits of his personality and now the “Avengers Tower and meeting”. Does that mean Sunah is Thanos? (excuse my nerd moment hehe)

Another thing I said in the same ask I mentioned before:

He uses strategies to reach his goals without following the law but he also cares about situations other than his (like Gaon’s and K’s) and does what he can to make the responsible pay for it. Like Gaon, we can see Yohan as a villain, compare him to a con artist and so on but he did say a con artist wouldn’t use their own money to save a city from corrupts and he is pretty open with Gaon about who he is and what he does from the beginning, he CAN be that kind of person but only if people get in his way or are his enemies.

Yohan plans everything ahead and he already knew the truth about Gaon's parents, one way or another he would have to tell Gaon and he did it after a slow process of exposing Gaon to their dirty reality and preparing him as much as he could while of course using it to his advantage too.

And this moment confirmed all of my words and opinion. Like Gaon, some viewers were suspecting Yohan of faking everything to bring Gaon to his side and yeah, he is capable of doing that, but it wasn��t the case.

Yohan has always been honest and straightforward, at least with Gaon. He doesn’t paint himself as the good guy nor tries to be one, he finished by warning Gaon “That won’t change in the future”. So Gaon can’t blame him for that anymore, or get suspicious again. Yohan is the type of person that waits for the other person to interrogate him after seeing the truth for themselves, instead of trying to convince them with only words. It’s not like people would trust his words anyway.

Let's conclude one of my favorite episodes of this drama, the turning point for Gaon and Yohan when they finally join paths and are on the same team. He understands what Yohan has been telling and showing him and has taken appropriation of Yohan’s definition and view of justice for himself: 

Our winning team aka lawful husbands:

Yohan checks on Gaon and promises he will take care of everyone that wronged his bae and caused him pain. Bc that’s Yohan since he was a kid when it comes to hurting or messing with his people and things.

Gaon won’t ever stop speaking in a way that makes Yohan falter and get positively surprised, huh? It’s mutual and I’m here for it:

I can’t finish this without Yohan being fond and feeling proud of Gaon (like at least once in every episode). More than anything, Yohan is relieved he didn’t have to kill such a pretty human being that furtively made his way inside his seemingly cold heart.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

dread | hope

i've noticed that my titles for tdj fics are much more purple-prose-y than my titles for literally every other fandom and i don't think I'm mad at it

anyway, my friend has been very excited about the got7 stuff that dropped recently so! have a fic where take gaon's self-destructive tendencies and turn them up to 15

feat. yohan and elijah who have no idea what to do with an upset gaon except shove warm things and food at him bc that's what he does when they're upset

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-destructive behavior bordering on self-harm, possible suicidal thoughts but it’s really just gaon not caring about his own well-being

Pairings: gahan, can be platonic or romantic i don’t care

Word Count: 3983

Believe it or not, Gaon is not an idiot. 

He is naive, perhaps, in that he does not know the fine arts of stringing someone else along on puppet strings, but he is not so oblivious that he can’t feel them being pulled as he moves. Some people assume he is naive because he lets these things happen to him. He prefers to give people the benefit of the doubt, because he knows he won’t be treated as kindly without it. 

People have agendas. Agendas change. That includes him. 

Everyone wants something, and sometimes you need to to work together to get what you both want. That doesn’t make him oblivious. 

Selfish, perhaps. 

Gaon has never been good at recognizing when to stop. He pushes with questions, with actions, with words until something happens. His professor beat his motorcycle to pieces, Soohyun slapped him across the face, his parents—

Well. You get the idea. 

But Gaon knows that what he wants is reckless. He’s an adrenaline junkie, perhaps he always has been. Sure, it’s certainly gotten more self-destructive over the years, but he remembers getting scolded for being so careless with his one life. 

They never got it quite right, though.

The allure wasn’t the sensation of just getting away with something or catching himself just by the skin of his teeth. It wasn’t the sudden explosion of endorphins or the way his pulse thudded so loudly in his ears that it drowned everything else out. 

Not exactly. 

It was how much it scared him to not know what was going to happen next. It was the way his focus narrowed down to right here, right now, a split-second that could very well kill him. Even after he’d gotten away with whatever it was, it was the rush of there being consequences and him not knowing what they are. 

Balancing here, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Some might call it a need for punishment, or label him a masochist. Some might call it attention-seeking or a cry for help. Some might say it’s a desperate bid for control, one last attempt at making himself feel something. 

Gaon doesn’t care to examine it, and whenever someone asks, he brushes it aside. 

Sometimes, though, at night when he’s drunk too much to call himself rational, he thinks it might have something to do with getting secure in insecure places. Making unsafe safe. 

So when his professor tells him to spy on his new boss, Kang Yohan, Gaon doesn’t hesitate. 

Kang Yohan is dangerous. He recognizes it as soon as he walks into his office. His shoulders want to raise, he wants to grit his teeth, he wants to run. But he doesn’t, because Gaon has never run from something like this and so he stays. 

He bugs his office because if there’s one thing Gaon does too well, it is asking questions and sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. He watches the court bend effortlessly to Yohan’s will and feels Dread settle over his shoulders. He scrambles to connect dots when there are none to connect only to turn around and see a full picture that’s already finished. 

He keeps pushing. 

He digs into Kang Yohan, into his court record, into his childhood, crossing every line he can think of as he sinks his hand into jagged pits of shining crystal, all but asking them to show him something. Every time he thinks he has something, he reaches out to touch it and it’s only a reflection. He bounces wildly off of walls, smacks into more obstacles than he could imagine, and is hopelessly confused. 

He doesn’t stop. 

Even if the professor hadn’t told him to be wary of Yohan, Gaon suspects he might’ve done this anyway. Before the live court show, Yohan’s record is perfect. Abides by the lawn as it is written in every circumstance, regardless of the defendant. Gaon has never trusted a perfect record. 

Just as he knows Kang Yohan doesn’t. 

His own record is far from perfect, he knows, but it won’t explain everything. And he knows that Yohan is up to something; people don’t do things with this level of efficacy if they’re not years in the making. So he makes himself a problem. Something to be dealt with. His professor would be dismayed. 

Is it smart to pick a fight with a bad guy and hope you don’t win? Perhaps, but Gaon has never been under any delusions of winning. 

You can fight without wanting to win. 

He knows, at the very least, that he has Yohan’s attention. He’s a mess of contradictions, suspicious enough to bug his office yet throwing himself in the way of a bomb two seconds later. Reckless enough to accuse him out of nowhere yet trustful enough to gain the affection—however sparingly—of his niece and his cat. He knows Yohan needs to figure him out as much as he does. 

Maybe Yohan will be better at it. 

But Gaon doesn’t have a plan, he never does when it comes to things like this. When he wakes up in Yohan’s house of all places, he feels Dread course through his veins and he thinks he’s finished. That he will be hurt, be hidden, or something, that maybe he’s been declared dead or missing. But no, he’s here to recover. He just has to stay in his room and not wander. 

Gaon wanders. 

He knocks on doors, pries open locks, asks questions of people who make remarks about drugging him or killing him and passing them off as jokes, and watches Yohan play at being a monster. 

Perhaps he is. Gaon doesn’t care. 

Dread has a hold of him now as he stays under that roof. He knows Yohan is playing him, knows that strings are being wound slowly around his wrists, his ankles, his neck. His phone is given to him as a reward, for crying out loud. He draws it out as long as he can, feeling every bit the prey circled by a predator. 

Then he hears Yohan’s story and something shifts. 

If it’s a ploy, it’s a damned good one because it leaves Gaon speechless. He retreats, his tail tucked between his legs, an apology on his lips. Is this the end? Is this the consequence? Dread has lessened, surely, but it isn’t gone. He can’t leave now, he can tell he isn’t finished yet. 

So he tries to figure out what he can push for now. 

As it turns out, it’s what he’s been getting. It’s scraps of attention, caught in the incredibly brief moments when the masks shift. It’s the smug smirks that say there’s always something he doesn’t know, something being held just out of his reach. It’s the touches, brief and fleeting, that make the dread bubble under his skin. 

It’s what Yohan wants as well. Wants him chasing after it, off-balance, hopelessly confused, so ready and pliable to look at him to any scrap of reassurance, to be told what to do next. He can give him that.

Slowly, slowly. It starts with an apology. He’s not too proud to admit he was out of order. In return, Yohan opens the fold a little more, drawing him deeper. He cooks for Elijah, savors the feeling of watching the two eat at the table like normal people. He watches the mask slip a little more and wonders what it will feel like when it slots into place for good. 

It only escalates. There is fire, Doh Youngchoon, and a flaming stack of paper, his own hand around a man’s throat after having another illusion shattered in the bright lights of a prison yard. Part of him wonders if this is the consequence, but no, it still lingers, watching him, hands in its pockets. And when he’s cried and screamed himself hoarse, there’s a hand gently around his arm and it begins to rise again. It only grows stronger when he’s pulled roughly against a strong chest next to a burins building. When he throws away a knife that could have answered so many problems. 

He thinks of his professor’s face when he sided with Kang Yohan and Dread cuts a string loose. 

It helps that, to a certain extent, he agrees with Yohan. The system is unfair. It needs to be fixed. And sometimes you have to burn an old world to start a new one. 

If only he weren’t so selfish. 

Kim Gaon is well-practiced in the art of hiding his selfishness. He bottles up his appetites and puts them into his work and hides them perfectly. He will not take up too much space until the time comes for it. He will not use his body as his own and when he demands more, it is a pleasant and revered Pain. 

If he had his way, he would look at the banquet and eat and eat and eat until his teeth turn black and his tongue falls out of his skull. He would take his face in his hands and kiss him no matter how loud the nightmare gets. He would not move out of the way, he would not beg; he would demand and the demand would be understood. 

But he has had his fill of quick and easy hurt. Now he worries his desire into a weapon borne of famine. Dread spills over him on two fronts, a fear of what could happen if he let it run wild and a mind-numbing whisper of when, when, when. When they discover how selfish he really is and rip the carpet out from under his feet. A slower, more exquisite hurt. 

Pain is an old friend, and Gaon is determined to give Suffering a proper handshake. 

He drowns himself in restraint and paralyzes himself with want. Yohan doesn’t have to lift a finger; Gaon is well-versed in placing himself just on the edge, never taking that last step to commit. He languishes in uncertainty and makes his home where the slivers of doubt brush and prick at his back. 

And in very quiet spaces in the middle of long nights, he lets himself reach for Hope. 

Hope that maybe this will be the time he miscalculates, that maybe he can actually keep some of the good alongside Dread. That Yohan, who is as clever as the night is long, will see what he is doing and put a stop to it, one way or another. 

As with everything that’s happened with Yohan, when the other shoe drops, he doesn’t see it coming. 

He walks into the study one day to see Lawyer Ko and K standing there. They turn to look at him, grim expressions on their faces. Gaon looks back and forth between them, until his eyes land on the USB the professor gave him for information in Yohan’s hand. 

The bottom falls out of the pit in his stomach and the insatiable Dread begins to swell and swell. 

Yohan asks him to wait outside in a dangerously soft voice and Gaon nods, bowing to the three of them and retreating. He climbs the stairs in a dreaded haze as the strings tug him up limb by limb. He tries to fumble with his things but Dread has reached his hands, now, and he must sit on the edge of the bed and let it hurt. 

This…this is the part he’s been waiting for. When Dread runs tendrils through his veins and makes the puppet strings fry and disintegrate, cut him loose from any service he could have. When all he can do is sit, or stand, numb and paralyzed with a special kind of emptiness that burns. When it crawls into the spaces behind his eyes and pushes. 

He tries to lose himself in it. To drown in the familiar sting of consequence. But something is wrong. 

He’s miscalculated. 

Now he doesn’t just have the fear of looming consequence, there’s a sickeningly sweet ache in his chest that this really is it. There will be no more evenings here, no more meals and games with Elijah, no more moments where the masks of Judge Kang fall away and just Yohan is left. It hurts with a twist, one that says it won’t matter what the consequence is now, he already has one that will be worse. 

Dread tenderly wraps Suffering’s hands around Gaon’s throat and squeezes. 

He hears the door open from a mile away and Dread sharpens. It closes with a click and he can’t turn his head. He knows Yohan is in the room from a blur of color and a twist of the knife at the base of his chest. Suffering opens his ribs and waits for Pain. 

Yohan crosses the floor. He stands next to Gaon, just to the side, and waits. Silence stretches through the room. If Gaon were being selfish still, he would mumble apologies, fall to his knees and beg forgiveness, but the time for being selfish is over now. He knows this dance, knows when he needs to turn. Knows it is better to sit, paralyzed with want than to whet his appetite and forever go hungry, 

The silence stays for a long time. 

Yohan moves finally, a hand coming up to catch Gaon’s chin and tilt it upward. Gaon focuses on Yohan’s face and finds the mask perfectly in place. Something soft brushes against his cheek and only then does he realize he’s crying. Dread’s hold on him tightens as Yohan simply watches another tear fall.

“When I asked you to wait outside,” he says, “I didn’t mean come up here.”

A softer opening blow than he was expecting, but one that lodges between his ribs all the same. He whispers an apology that sounds horrible to his ears. Yohan simply tilts his head. 

“Did the sight of K and Lawyer Ko surprise you?” Gaon nods. “Do you want to know why there were here?”

No, Gaon screams as Suffering’s hands nod his head. 

“They’ve been looking into Min Jungho,” Yohan says, never looking away, “apparently his behavior has warranted some attention. They found some interesting things, not just about me, but about you.”

The room feels cold, inside and out. 

“They came to me with a worry that you were being used as a pawn, as a way for him to get to me.” Yohan’s hand shifts its grip a little on Gaon’s jaw. “And I thought: that doesn’t sound like the baby deer that nosed his way into my private life, cooking for my niece, now, does it? So I decided to do some digging of my own.”

Gaon swallows painfully as Yohan tips his chin a little higher. 

“I found something interesting,” he says, “well, technically Elijah pointed it out.”

Gaon holds his breath. 

“You don’t take very good care of yourself,” Yohan murmurs, “do you?”

When Gaon shakes his head, Yohan makes a soft noise and cradles Gaon’s chin. 

“If I could learn that from emotionless and detached records, how could a man who practically raised you not?” He tilts his head. “Then I began to wonder what would happen if he did.”

Something in Gaon screams. 

“I wonder if he sent you to me uncaring if you would be hurt or not,” Yohan says lowly, “or if he knew you would be hurt. Maybe you knew it too.”

His expression softens incrementally. 

“I’ve hurt you,” he murmurs, “haven’t I?”

He burns too much to nod but the silence is pointed. 

“Is that why you ran today? Did you think I was going to hurt you?” Gaon’s throat works against his hand. “Do you think I still will?”

Gaon can’t speak. Yohan sighs, expression still softer than it should be as he eases down on the bed next to him, hand moving to cup his cheek. 

“I’m not here to hurt you,” he says softly, “you don’t have to look so scared.”

Yes, yes, he does, because now they’re angry at him. Dread, Suffering, Pain, they want what they came for. They want him, to carve him up, their pound of flesh. 

“How is it that made you more scared?” comes the soft tease. 

Gaon will not be teased, he wants to know what’s happening. Why Yohan isn’t hurting him. He wants to know why everything hurts and yet nothing does. 

“Gaon,” Yohan says quietly, a hand going through Gaon’s hair, “Gaon.”

“Why,” he manages to gasp out, “why?”

“Because Min Jungho miscalculated, and maybe you did too.” Yohan slips a hand around the back of Gaon’s neck. “You’re mine now, and that means you don’t get to fall into pain and get away from me.”

“Y-yours?”

The grip on the back of his neck tightens. “Aren’t you?”

Dread twists gleefully in his stomach. His throat tightens as something whispers this is a trap, this is a trap, this is a trap. 

He wants to be. Oh, god, does he? Does he want to say yes and Yohan will drag him out of this pit? Does he want to say no and fall into familiar waiting clutches? Does he want to risk what happens if he says no? Does he want to risk what happens if he says yes?

Yohan’s gaze hasn’t moved from his. He searches frantically, fruitlessly for some crack in that impenetrable facade that will give him something, any idea of what answer he might want. 

Only to find the man staring back at him isn’t as inscrutable as he’s used to. 

As his eyes dart back and forth, Yohan’s are doing the same. The hand on his neck holds him tightly, yes, but to keep him in place, as if to stop him from running away, running back into Pain. 

To keep him. 

Oh. 

Oh.

He nods slowly. 

Something in Yohan’s gaze relaxes and the grip gentles. “Good.”

Yohan is pleased. He’s pleased with Gaon’s decision. He did a good thing. He—

Oh, god, what did he just do?

“Do you need to cry,” comes Yohan’s voice, sweet and worried, “is that it?”

He cries. He tucks his head and tries not to let Yohan see but he tuts, lifting his chin again and guiding it over his shoulder. 

“No more hurting yourself like this,” he scolds without any real heat, “you need to look after yourself better.”

Gaon just sobs. Yohan holds him, soft and gentle, arms around him. Suffering retreats in confusion, Pain easing its claws from wounds, even as Dread clings stubbornly to him. Yohan seems to find it, one hand on his head, the other around his waist. 

“It’s okay now,” he murmurs, “I can take care of you. You can let me take care of you.”

“I don’t—I don’t know how,” Gaon manages. 

“Shh…you’ve done very well at taking care of me and Elijah, we can help.”

A slightly hysterical chuckle bubbles out of his throat. Out of all the things the Kangs do well, providing comfort is not one of them. Then again, Gaon is nowhere near proficient in letting himself be comforted. 

“I don’t think I’ll be very good at it.”

“You can learn.”

Another laugh. “That might take a while.”

Yohan holds him closer. “That’s okay.”

Before Gaon can tell him he might be underestimating just how bad he’s going to be at this, Elijah’s voice comes from the corridor. 

“Gaon, when are you going to start dinner? I’m hungry and Yohan’s already here, so we can…”

She comes to a sharp stop when she sees the pitiful mess he is in Yohan’s arms. Her eyes widen and she comes over as fast as she can. 

“What happened? Why are you crying? Do I need to kill someone?”

“E-Elijah—“

“Tell me what happened,” she orders, hands clenched on her wheels and her mouth drawn tight, “tell me who did this.”

The fierce pride and determination in her voice just make it worse. He was going to hurt them, he—he almost threw all of this away. He would’ve been the worst monster in the world and he was so close and he doesn’t deserve any of this. 

“What happened to him?” Oh, Elijah’s moved on to asking Yohan now. “Why is he crying so much? What did you do?”

Yohan shifts. “I scared him.”

“What did you do that for?” Yohan doesn’t flinch as she hits him on the arm but he does tighten his grip. “Don’t scare him!”

“I didn’t mean to,” he snaps back.

It’s too much. It’s too much and he can’t deal with everything and the only thing holding him up is Yohan and he’s going to collapse into more of a mess than he is right now and this is humiliating and he can’t do anything to stop it and—and—

“Why is he crying harder?”

“Well, someone did just burst in shouting.”

“You’re the one who scared him!”

“You’re still shouting!”

Gaon buries his head in the crook of Yohan’s neck and just cries. Their voices crash over his head and he spins, spinning, spinning, unspun in the wake of the maelstrom in his heart. The dam is open, gates shattered in one fell swoop and tidal waves pour out until he’s wrung dry. 

His head pounds by the time he realizes he’s gone still. They’ve stopped shouting, and he looks up to see Elijah staring at him with a mix of guilt and worry. 

“I shouldn’t have shouted,” she mutters, still looking at him. 

He shakes his head. She doesn’t need to apologize. 

“You should drink something warm,” she says, “it will help. I’ll go make it.”

“I can help,” Yohan says, starting to stand but Gaon won’t let him. 

“No,” Elijah says, already turning and wheeling away, “you once set the coffee maker on fire.”

Gaon snorts into Yohan’s shoulder as the man makes an affronted noise. He shifts again as if to pull away, but Gaon just latches on tighter. If Yohan wants to keep him, he’s going to get him in all his needy, whiny, pathetic, clingy glory. The chest under him sighs and a hand runs over his head again. 

“You must be hungry,” comes the soft voice, “should I make dinner too?”

Gaon shakes his head. “I can do it.”

“You need to learn how to let yourself be taken care of.”

“And Elijah’s making me tea.” Gaon pulls back enough to look up at him. “Shouldn’t I learn slowly?”

Yohan huffs, shaking his head. He’s warm. His hand brushes the hair back from Gaon’s face. Gaon leans into it. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says after a pause. 

“It wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry for…” Gaon gestures around. “…this.”

“For what, crying on me, being manipulated by your old professor, or the state of the live court show?”

“...yes?”

A scoff and a chiding tug on his hair. “You don’t need to apologize for the world, Kim Gaon.”

I don’t?

As if he can hear the thought, Yohan’s expression softens and he stands, slowly bringing Gaon with him. “Come on. Elijah will be wondering where you are.”

“You—“ Yohan pauses, looking at him— “you’re really alright with me staying?”

“Yes,” Yohan says softly, “you can stay. Now come on.”

A different feeling tingles in the wounds left by Dread’s claws as Yohan helps him down the stairs. He breathes a little easier as Elijah passes him a warm mug and snaps at Yohan to get out of the way. His hands don’t hurt when he pulls the ingredients out of the fridge and smiles at the way uncle and niece bicker across the table. 

“Did you really set the coffee maker on fire?”

“Yes,” Elijah chirps. 

“Yah!”

As he sets the food on the table and Yohan makes him sit down before anyone eats anything, he thinks he might know what this feeling is. 

Hope. 

[breitweisergallery]

waking dreams

Elijah is four in her earliest memories. She’s in that study, that damn study, and Isaac and Yohan are taking advantage of the fact that their father, her halabeoji isn’t home, to talk between them. Isaac holds her, first propped on his hip, and then in his lap when he sits down. He’s keeping her occupied with a toy butterfly and with the motions of braiding and unbraiding her hair again.

She doesn’t remember the details of the conversation. She remembers Isaac laughing a few times, that small almost-smile gracing Yohan’s face, making him look even younger than his barely thirty years of age.

(She can’t remember when Yohan started to look older, more bone-weary, haggard. She has to only guess it was after the fire).

Even back then, Yohan was quiet and reserved and thoughtful; she remembers Yohan pausing before he answered Isaac’s questions. She remembers Isaac giving him the time to think; Yohan wasn’t so manipulative back then, she thinks. He was open and honest with Isaac, even if it hurt their relationship. She thinks Isaac preferred it that way.

After the fire, Elijah can’t remember Yohan ever grieving. Not the way she did. He sat by her side, patient and steadfast, through the pain and frustration presented in tears and tantrums and nightmares. Yohan just sat by her side and when she finally exhausted herself and slumped over, Yohan would pick her up and carry her to bed, staying with her until she fell asleep.

Yohan has always been firmly planted in the ground, stable and steady and ready to catch her whenever she falls. It’s been five years since the last time she sought him out in the middle of the night—before she had found the files on his computer, before he’d realised he couldn’t keep anything he didn’t want her to see on his computer. “Yohan?” her voice was loud in the dark silence of the room, echoing in the emptiness of the house. There were only three inhabitants in the house: Yohan, Elijah, and the ghosts of past residents haunting them.

“Elijah?” Yohan’s voice, barely coherent, barely audible, as he lifted his head from the pillow. It had been two years since she’d gone to him after a nightmare, but he still moved with the practised memory of comfort, shifting over and moving the blankets so she could pull herself onto his bed, so she could cuddle up to him. “Sleep, Elijah,” Yohan mumbled, into the thickness of the cloud of grief that clung to her skin.

She stops turning to him for help when she finds the documents. Yohan stops offering help, in turn, adapting to her needs.

(He was never meant to be a father, Elijah reminds herself, when she wishes he’d come even if she told him not to. He had never wanted to be a father).

And then Yohan brings the associate judge home, wounded, and he looks like Isaac. Elijah can’t stand it. She throws a shoe at Yohan when he leaves the room he’s put the judge in. He doesn’t dodge it, just looks down at the shoe that she’d hit him in the chest with. “I just got blown up, don’t you think this could have waited?” he asks dryly. She throws her other shoe at him.

Gaon isn’t a replacement for Isaac. She watches as Yohan, instead, takes Isaac’s seat and Gaon sits instead in Yohan’s seat, thoughtful before he answers questions posed, choosing his words carefully. But Gaon isn’t like Yohan, he stumbles and falls, he’s spitfire and impulsive, and Elijah loves him. Elijah loves him because, for once, she can see Yohan start to falter, to hesitate.

There’s something about Kim Gaon that shifts the ground under their feet. But Elijah doesn’t really notice it, until she wakes from a nightmare breathing heavily and barely opens her eyes before she feels the dip in her mattress, the hand soothing her hair back from her face. She doesn’t need to look to recognise the silence as Yohan’s, the comfort as that awkward imitation he could never manage to make entirely sincere.

She shifts over and Yohan takes her role, slips under her blankets and curls up to her, shifting to accommodate when she turns in to him, pressing her face to the soft fabric of his sweater. He brushes his fingers through her hair, and she closes her eyes before he presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. “You’ve gotten better at this,” she mumbles. She feels rather than sees Yohan suppress a laugh.

“Gaon says it’s good to talk about your nightmares,” he says, like he himself can’t believe he’s saying it. Elijah scoffs.

It’s… nice, she supposes, to rely on Yohan every so often, to let him actually care for her. It’s not as though her fond memories of him disappeared when she found his documents cancelling the donation. She still remembers the Yohan who sat with her and helped put stickers on her first wheelchair, the Yohan who took her shopping for a backpack before he decided it was safer to homeschool her instead.

It was her to pull away first, Elijah realises. She cuddles closer to Yohan and closes her eyes and drifts to sleep easier than she has in a long time.

Elijah wakes up to Yohan still in her bed, brushing his fingers through her hair and watching her sleep. “Good morning,” he says when she wakes.

“What time is it?” she asks, and before he can even open his mouth, she continues, “why aren’t you at work? Why are you still here? Don’t you have things to do?”

“I rescheduled my meetings,” Yohan says calmly, when Elijah finally pauses to breathe. “You haven’t had a nightmare that bad in years.” It’s not a question, and Elijah suddenly realises that he’s been checking on her at night since she stopped coming to him for help, still caring for her in that quiet, unassuming way she knows Yohan prefers, that way often left unrealised.

“Yohan?” she asks. Her voice is small, young. Yohan focuses on her at once; his expression may be blank, but his eyes are concerned, worried. Elijah can’t ask, though, can’t bring herself to utter the words that she desperately wants to say.

He understands, though. Yohan understands and he smiles softly. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to,” he murmurs and he drops another kiss to her head.

He buys her a birthday gift that year. Elijah had told him not to bother when she was twelve, and he had followed the request. He probably, she knows, just put money into the accounts he’d set aside for her for when she was an adult, but it was something she didn’t have to deal with or acknowledge, and that was enough for her.

She’s with Gaon when he gets home, sitting in the garden with him and Kkomi and chatting. “Elijah!” Yohan calls. Gaon tenses immediately but Elijah just turns; she knows Yohan’s angry voice, and that’s not it.

“We’re outside!” she calls back. Yohan skips the bottom step coming down the back porch and jogs down to where they’re seated in the grass.

“Bujangnim?” Gaon asks nervously. They both ignore him for the time being. Yohan has a small box in his hand. Elijah narrows her eyes.

Yohan’s smile is smug and fake; Elijah looks past it, to the uncertain hope in his eyes instead. “Happy birthday, Elijah,” Yohan says in a soft voice. Gaon’s head shoots to look at her, betrayal written all over his face. Elijah just scoffs and opens the box and freezes when she catches sight of the paper underneath the silver chain, the cross attached.

Elijah, it reads, in Yohan’s familiar handwriting, this was your father’s. He gave it to me on my sixteenth birthday. I’m passing it on to you now. Remember that there is always hope in the world, so long as you look for it. Love, your uncle, Yohan.

She’s seen the cross on Yohan’s wrist before. It’s a necklace, but he’s only ever worn it as a bracelet, tucked under the cuffs of his sleeves, or loose against his wrist at home. It was her father’s.

The memories she has of Isaac and Yohan are soft ones, fond ones. She can remember the sound of Yohan’s laughter, if not the circumstances behind it. She can remember Yohan picking her up as often as Isaac did, the delight in his eyes and voice when she’d run to him while playing. But still, she doubted Yohan for years, doubted his love for her father, his brother.

She wears it as a bracelet as well. The chain clinks against itself on her wrist when she moves; Yohan is asleep, having fallen asleep nearly the second they’d taken off on the plane. She can’t blame him; he’s been overworking himself trying to get them safely out of the country. Elijah can’t remember the last time she saw Yohan sleep peacefully.

Yohan sleeps peacefully on the flight. The lines on his face soften, and he looks younger, when he sleeps, his hair in his face and turned towards her, eyelids fluttering every so often. She wonders what he’s dreaming of.

He wakes after six hours on the flight, waking up in small increments. When his eyes land on her, a subtle smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “Have you slept?” he asks, voice rough. Elijah shakes her head. “What are you doing?”

“Schoolwork,” Elijah says. Yohan blinks at her and sits up a little more, shaking his head as if to shake the sleep off. The air stewardess brings him coffee. He turns back to Elijah and she, in kind, tilts her textbook towards him, explaining her studies aloud to him.

He’s taken interest in her studies before; she knows Yohan cares more than he lets on about her schooling, that he’d dropped a stupid amount of money on making sure she could stay with him but still could study at Stanford. She knows Yohan keeps an eye on her grades—not that he needs to—and that, despite being technologically incompetent, Yohan made efforts to keep up with her studies.

Yohan looks nothing but interested as she reads aloud to him. He looks unbelievably fond and unbearably proud; Elijah uses her hair to hide the fact that she has absolutely no idea what to do with this Yohan, who has given up trying to keep his distance.

“Why are you like this?” she mutters on hour eight of their flight. Yohan just laughs at her.

They have a single layover in Munich. Yohan gets them food and checks his phone, one he plans on ditching the second they land in Zurich. “Did Gaon text?” Elijah asks with a knowing smile. Yohan gives her a deadpan look. “What, you’re allowed to tease me for having a crush, but I can’t do the same thing to you?”

“I’m your uncle, it’s different,” Yohan counters, practically whining. Elijah scoffs. He doesn’t deny it, though, she realises almost six minutes later, and Yohan just grins when she glares at him.

(She can’t remember when Yohan started looking this happy, this light, this warm. She has a feeling it has something to do with Kim Gaon).

Yohan has a nightmare their first night in Zurich. Elijah knows because they’re still in a hotel, because he wakes up gasping for air. Because Yohan catches his breath and then looks over at her, watching him. Without a word, Elijah reaches out for him and he comes to her, slipping onto the bed she’d claimed as hers.

“This is what you would do for me,” Elijah says and soothes her fingers through his hair, back away from his face, watching carefully. Yohan’s breathing evens slowly; somewhere along the way, Elijah realises, Yohan has learned to accept comfort from others. He takes care of her, but in turn, he’ll allow her to take care of him.

[thedeviljudges]

How do you interpret that last scene? I read it very much as a promise of a reunion/what's to come. How is it a goodbye?? They're not at the airport, they're at wherever Gaon's hearing was held, and like you pointed out, time has passed, so unless Yohan and Elijah were just chilling in motels for the past month and a half before jetting off to Switzerland, this is Yohan returning to Korea for Gaon's big moment/cos he can't keep away. That and their expressions, plus Gaon's realisation that (tbc)

nothing has changed (which would be a super downer way to end his arc if he truly was alone) doesn't suggest goodbye, but instead something more along the lines of a rejuvenation, a 'right, what's next?' or a 'I'll be seeing you.' I mean, Yohan clearly wanted Gaon to catch him, otherwise he wouldn't have stood directly behind him caressing his chair! Could just be wishful thinking but if I hadn't read comments saying so first, it would never have occurred to me that it was meant to be a goodbye.

i think the point of the scene is leaving it up to viewers discretion, but because most of us here are very lawful husbands-oriented, of course we refuse to see it as a goodbye. plus, i didn't take it as a goodbye while watching it personally.

i did miss the "a month later" notation when i first watched just because where i was watching with english subs, there was notes about where gaon and jinjoo were covering it up. so luckily someone pointed it out or i would've missed it.

i think that note about the month thing really says a lot in terms of how it's meant to be interpreted. so let me just go off about it because i'm feeling so many things still.

first, i think it truly shows that yohan still cares for gaon and always will no matter how much time passes between each other and they're not by each other's side. yohan purposefully flew back (i don't think they would've stayed in a hotel since all of yohan's and elijah's things were packed up and gone when gaon visited the house) just to see gaon. literally the singular reason was to push gaon into his role as a judge and support him giving his testimony—one that yohan made happen in the first place. why wouldn't he see out this plan in person, too? this might come across as yohan checking up on gaon before leaving again, and that's certainly the case, but it's not a goodbye. it's yohan popping in to check up on him, especially for the road gaon has ahead of him as a judge.

yohan didn't give gaon a proper goodbye either. he left the cards and the blueprint of the courtroom in his bedroom so gaon would find it and know that he's safe. he never actually said goodbye at the building as well, and it's similar to the theming of death where if a body isn't shown on screen, are they really dead? is it really goodbye if it's not uttered?

i've come to the conclusion that it feels more like "i'll see you around" for me - that gaon knows yohan is out there, and he's not gone for good. he blatantly "threatened" gaon and told him if he wasn't doing a good job, he'd be back. that means yohan is going to be watching over him in some capacity, and you're telling me that he's going to spend time doing that and not go see gaon at any point? why would yohan fuck himself over more like that? doesn't make sense. that's too much pining, and when has yohan ever sat back and did nothing about what he wants?

i think they both recognize that after all of the pain and suffering they've gone through, a brief separation is not just needed but probably a good thing - sort of like a breather to really settle down, work through their emotions, and also for gaon to give yohan and elijah a bit of time to work on their relationship without gaon in the mix for once. also for gaon to find his own way as a judge without yohan's influence as well.

so overall, no. to me it's not a goodbye. i can see them coming back together just a few months down the line because they need each other and all will be well. plus, gaon would be more than supportive of yohan and elijah staying in switzerland if it means she has a chance to go to physical therapy and heal. gaon knows how to be independent, and so does yohan. i think they're perfectly capable of maintaining a long distance relationship if it means elijah comes first. it's like one parent stays home while the other goes to work and/or travels. just like any other family.

it could also be reasonably explained that they did not go near one another due to the building they were in. i highly doubt that yohan wants people to know he’s alive. gaon wouldn’t jeopardize yohan again, and they most certainly do not want people questioning gaon after everything that just happened. he’s at a judicial reform meeting, and he blatantly told everyone that he still doesn’t agree with yohan’s way of justice. he’s not a criminal, and he’s not a hero.

then, we have the watch. the blatant watch that gaon never took off no matter his doubts about yohan. from the very beginning, it’s been there. and it will stay there as a reminder. fitting that isaac gave yohan his token of remembrance to do good in a necklace. and yohan gave his through a watch. yohan has the scar gaon gave him.

and finally, does this not look like one kang yohan who has something up his sleeve? where have we seen this blatant look before? especially as tempest plays as he walks away.

[killerandhealerqueen]

Headcanon ask :

Hacker Kim Gaon x Chief Judge Kang Yohan (Also Elijah & Gaon are you know, hacker friends. Since Elijah is also a good hacker) Yohan seeks help from gaon and they sort of become friends? And you know........

Ik you're busy due to your finals? Finals right? So, you can do this headcanon anytime. I'm totally okay with it.

Btw, all the best on your finals. (Fighting!!)

Ah, thank you. My last final is next week, so I have some time this week to just sort of relax

Kim Gaon is an incredibly talented hacker...probably the best in Korea. He can hack into any network he wants without leaving a trace...and can also shut down networks if necessary (especially if he feels like the people behind the network are corrupt)

He never leaves a calling card or like a "name" so no one really knows who he is, save for one little girl named Elijah, who somehow hacks his computer camera/skype and is now talking with him face to face. Or screen to screen

Gaon freaks out because how the fuck did this kid find him and hack him and Elijah just laughs and teases him, saying that he's not the greatest hacker in Korea, she is

Gaon's then like...should you be talking to a stranger like this and Elijah's like "oh I hack people's web cameras all the time to see if they're really who they say they are". Gaon's a little bit more afraid of this teenager than he was a few seconds ago

Elijah then explains that she only accessed Gaon's web camera because she's lonely and wants someone to talk to because no one understands her hobbies and hacking...they just think she's weird and creepy for hacking into other people's servers, systems, networks, etc.

Gaon feels bad as he knows what it's like to be lonely so he decides to befriend Elijah and they talk almost every day. They get along quite well and Gaon notices that Elijah smiles a lot more than the first day he met her

Then one day a man walks into Elijah's room when she's on a call with Gaon and Gaon pauses because he doesn't know if the man is a family member or what but Elijah assures him that this is her uncle, Chief Judge Kang Yohan. Gaon blinks in surprise and Yohan greets him politely before he asks Elijah if she'd be willing to hack a network for him

Elijah nods before she looks at Gaon and soon both of them have their fingers flying over the keys, Yohan watching with a raised eyebrow as they work. Soon they have what he's looking for and Yohan hums before he thanks both of them and leaves

After that one instance, anytime Yohan needs some hacking done, he asks for both Elijah and Gaon's help because having two hackers is always better than one, in his opinion

And sometimes he stays, sometimes he doesn't because he's busy with other things. If he does, he asks Gaon about himself and how he met Elijah because you know, she's his only niece, she's practically his daughter, he's a little protective of her

Gaon just assures him that he's not a creep, it was Elijah who connected with him first. He does tell him a little about himself, but like...not everything. Since he doesn't know Yohan that well, he doesn't need to know everything

Over time, the three slowly become closer until one day when Gaon calls Elijah for their daily video calls, Elijah doesn't answer, Yohan does

"Kim Gaon"

"Sir? Is there something wrong?"

"It's Elijah. I think something happened to her"

Gaon frowns

"But Elijah doesn't...leave the house, right?"

Yohan huffs and pinches the bridge of his nose

"Normally she doesn't, but she was meeting up with some school friends that came to visit Korea so she wanted to hang out with them. I let her go but then when I came to pick her up, she wasn't where I dropped her off and she's not answering her phone"

Gaon nods before his fingers fly over his keyboard, searching for Elijah's location before he smiles and looks at Yohan

"I'll send her your location and meet you"

Yohan blinks in confusion before his phone buzzes and he looks at the location Gaon sent him as Gaon ends the video call

Gaon then gets ready, quickly changing his clothes into something nice and brushing his hair before he heads out, catching a cab to the location he sent Yohan

When he arrives at the park, he finds a black Escalade waiting in the parking lot and the minute he gets out of the cab, Yohan steps out of the Escalade and walks over to him, eyeing him up and down

"It's nice to meet you in the flesh, Kim Gaon"

"I could say the same thing about you, Kang Yohan"

Yohan chuckles before he huffs

"Where's Elijah?"

Gaon smiles before he motions for Yohan to follow him as they head through the park until they find Elijah laughing with a few of her friends that she made from school

Gaon then looks over at Yohan and smirks

"See? She's perfectly fine"

Yohan huffs before he walks over to Elijah, Gaon following him, as Elijah turns and smiles at them

"Yohan!" *sees Gaon in person* "GAON!"

She then wheels over to Gaon and hugs him tightly, Gaon laughing as he pets her hair

"Hello Elijah"

Elijah then pulls away as she looks up at him

"I've always wanted to hug you and now I can!"

Gaon laughs and gives her another hug as Yohan watches them with a fond look on his face. When Gaon and Elijah pull away again, Gaon smiles

"Take your time. Your uncle and I won't be too far away, k?"

Elijah nods and lets go of Gaon as she turns and wheels back to her friends while Gaon takes Yohan's arm and guides him to a park bench that's not too far so that Elijah and her friends are within their sights

As both men sit and watch Elijah with her friends, Yohan looks over at Gaon, eying him up and down, causing Gaon to look back him with a raised eyebrow

"What?"

"Nothing. You're just much more handsome in person"

Gaon blushes and Yohan chuckles before they go back to watch Elijah laugh and have a good time with her friends

[leamy-world]

Reaction to The Devil Judge (spoilers for ep. 9 & 10)

It’s been a while since i’ve last been on tumblr, but i got invested in this drama every week & the fandom’s analyses to not talk about it sometime! (Last time i was hooked, it was with Beyond Evil and i watched it by the time the finale already aired so i didn’t suffer from the weekly wait!)

So here i am, this is mainly self-indulgent with essay-long interpretations of some scenes in a totally random order, but i’d love to interact with whoever reads this if they want to react!

I’m sorry for the potential awkward phrasings, english is not my first language!

- The recap was nicely done and tied everything together, it made me realize so many things happened since the beginning! The repetition didn’t make me skip it, the narration was dynamic & fun.

- The ‘power display’ & threat Yohan showed to Soohyun (by lashing out at Juk Chang and strangling him, as proxy for Soohyun, in front of her while staring at her) were something …! She answered in the same fashion, passing by him saying she will ‘arrest Juk Chang’. I wonder how their next encounters will unfold.

- Many people already pointed this out, but Soohyun’s decision to leave Elijah, a minor, alone in her car (with its doors open, daring to tell her to stay there when she has no other choice anyway) + stop the gang alone and unannounced off duty was irresponsible. Anyways, i wonder if she will interact again with Elijah because they were adorable, i would miss it!

- The conversation between Soohyun & Gaon at his apartment (ep. 10) was interesting on both parts: 

It sounded casual, but Soohyun wanted to see where he stood in the Kang family and make sure he wasn’t in Yohan’s plans (i hope she didn’t seriously mean the ‘weird’ comment about Elijah, it’d be sad since Elijah enjoyed her company!).

Gaon was anxious professor Min told her about their last conversation (i think she’ll talk to him in the next eps). He also indirectly defended the Kangs by associating himself with them (« I’m pretty sure i’m just as weird ») and voiced his concern about Yohan, speaking more to himself than following the conversation at hand. 

When Soohyun changed the subject with the ‘i’m jealous’ bit, maybe it was to brighten the mood with a light-hearted comment, hoping Gaon would follow. And by the look of her pause right after, it seemed she was also expecting GO’s ‘positive’ reaction to her jealousy, giving in to the kind of teasing/flirt they have in their friendship. But deep down, it was also to voice her true unease about Gaon’s involvement with Yohan she had since the beginning and ep. 8. 

It’s obvious to us she meant she was jealous of Yohan. And GO could’ve understood it this way too, since she confessed to him multiple times and her feelings must be known to him (i think he takes it as a ‘joke’ given how many times she confessed and each time when he was crying, so maybe he thought, very reasonably, it was to cheer him up? I also guess he’s too absorbed by his current worries about the Kangs and her potential suspicion, to notice her attempts). 

But instead of that, he’s not in the same line of thoughts at all and picks up on the « rich », musing on what makes one’s existence rich, thinking Soohyun was envying Yohan’s position and life and proving her he’s indeed in a whole different world, empathizing with Yohan. 

She then looked like her face fell, until her eyes lit up again when he was about to admit she was precious to him along with his family.

By the way, this scene picks up right where we were left off in ep. 8, when Gaon tends to his plants:

« - Are you back for good? - Not really. They need some looking after. - You should come back, not drop by. This is where you live. - Someone there needs some taking care of too. - Take care of your own self, please. - What about me? I’m living a shamelessly comfortable life. Soohyun. - Yes? - What are you thinking about? - Nothing. By the way, Gaon … » (i wonder what she was going to say!)

Lost in thoughts, Gaon’s mixed emotions when he said Yohan was not rich (« he’s not rich. If you get to know him, Kang Yohan is really poor. ») were very well depicted by Jinyoung’s acting: the soft voice and the ghost of a smile that convey understanding and endearment, leaning on his counter in a relaxed stance, but also at the same time the stare lost in the space, maybe to all the memories tied to the Kangs and Yohan, and the tension in his left lip corner by the end of his sentence which betray his sadness and empathy with Yohan’s life. After this, when he became aware of Soohyun’s gaze, it’s like his bubble popped. He looked surprised with his eyes widening, and was fidgeting a little, then changed the subject to himself.

And « I have you, Soohyun » sounded truly grateful but also sad and conflicted, GO lets his worries show when she’s gone, maybe wondering if they would be bound to be against each other one day as he continues to side with Yohan, menacing to jeopardize their friendship to the point of no return. In these kinds of stories you expect these kinds of twists, but i grew fond of the cast send help

- I loved how Yohan’s confession to GO about his brother was filmed: the camera faced head-on his pain, slipping unbeknownst to him through the façade he always showed to protect himself. But this time, despite his (late) attempts to dismiss these feelings both for him and Gaon to regain composure (the hand gestures to hide his tears, pretending to be tough with the  « there’s no such things as innocent people », drinking away his sorrow with a bitter laugh that rings hollow), all this façade fades out in front of Gaon literally by being blurred out in the shot, as if he clearly sees his pain through (his silhouette appearing clear-cut between Yohan’s gestures). I know it’s a pretty classic shot but it fit well with this scene. He clenches his jaw in the next shot, moved by Yohan opening up. 

- The dinner scene was really moving …! Especially when you put the colder tones the kitchen had when we first saw Yohan have dinner by himself next to this scene, full of light in contrast! I wonder when the OST playing will be released, it was so beautiful and reminded me of My Mister’s OST (especially Rainbow!). I look forward to the lyrics, because most of the time the OST gives more layers & depth to the story and the characters! (please don’t let it be about Yohan’s budding feeling of a true ‘home’ ;;) I didn’t realize it upon my first watch, but Gaon really took the cutlery hostage, it cracked me up!

- The parallels in this show will be the end of me: Yohan went from the « i’m so sick of this place » (ep. 5) to asking K to drive him « home » with a delighted smile. 

- I liked the parallel of Yohan’s reaction to GO/Sun-Ah sitting in his office chair, impeding on his space (he reminds SA to stay out of it, the first time politely, the second time almost grimacing, his jaw clenched: « Just because you’re the head of the OSC doesn’t mean you can barge in like this (…) So please stop barging in like this. », while he says nothing to GO)

- At the beginning of ep. 10, we have Yohan saying he doesn’t like «  hanging out with people » & by the end of it, Soohyun saying « My childhood’s best friend is hanging out with a rich guy ».

- These two episodes gave more insight and nuance into Sun-Ah’s character, which was very nice ; and also Cha Kyung-Hee’s comeback (and her last confrontation with Sun-Ah!!!!)

- The people following Juk Chang also targeted sexual minorities according to the subs i had, i wonder if it will be addressed again sometime in the drama. 

- I loved Elijah’s « hacking » technique scene, i felt proud too! I always look forward to her scenes (and Kkomi’s too haha)! And her reaching out Gaon’s shoulder for the first time ;;

- The ‘humans lose their minds when they think they’ve lost what they have’ ……… repeated twice by YH ………… It will hit hard and all those lines will come right back at us viewers, but i’m not prepared haha! And also for the ‘if you want revenge, don’t hesitate’, i hope it doesn’t foreshadow a future revenge Gaon will execute without hesitation aaaaaa

Also, what lawyer Ko said about himself in ep. 8 may apply to Yohan’s case by the end, will he atone for what he did someday? (« I’m no longer a lawyer. I’m just a criminal. When all this comes to an end, I’ll pay for what i did. »)

- I really loved Yohan’s efforts to take into consideration both Elijah’s (he refrained himself from acting rashly like the last time she went out and listened to her) and Gaon’s feelings (stopping him from endangering himself recklessly, not forcing him onto the revenge path lest he’d regret it afterwards, and helping him to face the truth rationally). 

- « She’s hungry for affection. No matter how much you hate the world and the people in it, you can never live alone. You always need someone to rely on. As long as you’re a human being. » Many people commented on it, Gaon must speak from his own experience and empathizes with both Elijah and Yohan’s situation. These two episodes showed how Gaon cares for the Kangs more openly, and i live for it! 

- Give me that domestic scene where Gaon plays cards with YH, the nanny and Elijah! And also more K and lawyer Ko scenes!

- Jinjoo’s and Gaon’s intervention in the trial were gold! And Satie’s Gnossiennes rearrangement playing in the background during Juk Chang’s speech, it’s the cherry on the cake haha

- By the way, there was also an arrangement of Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto no. 2 during the first charity event Yohan went with Jinjoo in the earlier episodes, it was also beautiful!

- GO’s Awkward Smile. I have no words, it is now forever imprinted on my mind.

Have a nice week and take care!

[sunlightnmoonshine]

Now that I have had the time to mull over that ep ( lol I'm sorry ya'll are probably sick of me) but there was something so strangely poetic about the ep?

I'm just thinking about that final scene in the live court show room. Sunah being absolutely done with everyone in that room and then being happy because Yohan was alive while everyone else went feral. Having their sins exposed and the parallel to them acting without a trace of humanity in their desperation to live, the way it just took everyone back to the church fire. They really are so pathetic. And you've Yohan watching this, dealing with the bullshit that they are and you have Sunah in the other corner of the room watching everything and realising everything she's built herself up to has had so little meaning but that she wouldn't be able to keep her position without pleasing the very people she despised. Knowing that they would always want to deceive her and that she'd be living on the edge forever because she's no longer the background handler. Seeing her get up and shoot HJS because she's absolutely hated the man, having him go by her hand?? Oof.

Then we've Yohan and Sunah. The way the show had them stand before each other the way we see Sunah smile because she's happy to be back in those games, the way Yohan was willing to get shot by her and press the button and end it all regardless but then she just decides she's done with everyone and there's really no way out for her and she doesn't care (I'm still bitter that she went that way but strangely now that I have calmed down it makes sense - she was going to either be tortured to death or killed anyway given that she killed two good characters on the show just as stepping stones.

The way we get that little flashback and I felt bad for her into her final moments I guess the show went with what they wanted, Sunah isn't your ordinary villain. The way right after, Gaon runs in and he chooses to stay and end it all with Yohan but Yohan being the dramatic ass that he is shoves him out and really just gives Gaon more mental trauma for a little while. And really just blows the place up and we see this temporary live court that was built to dismantle the privileged come crashing down with its figure heads. And Yohan dies. Symbolically. He's no longer that person that needs to do any of this anymore. His one priority Elijah is all that matters.

I actually wondered for quite a while why the show let Yohan off the hook technically but then it became clear it was almost entirely because of Elijah. Because she needs Yohan and the show would be too cruel to her if he were gone for good. But Yohan did what he had to, he reiterated that he was criminal and he put down the people that needed to go and left the doors open for Gaon to little by little build the world the way he wants to. but at least now he has an opportunity and its not as wretched without the SRF but reminds us that people are still selfish and greedy but at least now Gaon has seen a version of its worst and can work against it in a new mindset.

Yohan suffered his whole life but never for himself. Until Gaon showed up, he did it for 10 years on his own raising a child and dealing with grief and trauma. Even prior, he lived an outcast but loved by his brother but who never really understood him. He lived a childhood repeatedly abused but longing for love and friendship and just being a good person until people took it too far. He suffered so damn much and I guess he gets to in some sense carry the weight of his sins which Yohan was always going to do but he would keep living for Elijah and deal with the responsibility, while Gaon would fix the errors through a door Yohan left open.

I just - this show.

[kdramachitchat]

Episode 4 -- It takes a village to raise a child. Lee’s trial resulted to 30 floggings. We also find out more about Yohan’s older brother Isaac and the story behind the fire.

Episode 4 starts right off with the 1st trial of Lee Youngmin who is the son of Ms Cha. The trial ended and Judge Yohan gave words of encouragement to Judge Oh saying that both of them are a team. With a ecstatic producer, they were able to capture the moment on video. For sure their ratings will sky rocket even more.

Yohan receives a call from Cha and she asks why is he going this far & replies that she should ask her own son instead of him. Yohan added a rhetorical question on why Lee keeps on treating people like dirt. A person going through alot resulting to lose of control with his own temper is not an excuse. Cha defending her son saying he’s not a bad person. Yohan talks back and asks her if she was this relaxed while she’s a prosecutor. Yohan ended the phonecall and Cha demands that they meet in person.

Yohan and Cha discusses the result of her son’s trial

Cha is determined to change the result of her son’s first trial. Yohan says that her son is only being sentenced by the law. Cha didnt believe what he’s saying and says that he’s only doing this to get to her. Cha asks if there’s anything Yohan wants from her and wants a statement that doesnt include something obvious like justice. She knows that he wants power to gain popularity and suggests to give him a better case. He mentioned that there’s a case 19 yrs ago where she investigated a young politician with a bright future for bribery. At the time he hadnt taken any bribes. She investigated him and received a guilty verdict. Yohan mentions that the man is a trademark of morals and sadly took his own life, leaving behind his middle school son. Yohan asks Cha if she ever thought about that case during her career of 19 years. Cha defended herself that the case was legal. If she wants her son’s case to be let go she has to follow Yohan’s orders. Yohan ordered to tell the media the truth of that case.

Ga On asks Soohyun if he could meet the officer who investigated the fire 10 years ago. His call suddenly gets interrupted when Yohan came in the room. Ga On looks completely well but why hasn’t he left the mansion yet? As Yohan said, looks like he’s trying to find something. Ga On tells him that he’s not interested in other people’s business. Yohan then invited him somewhere and chooses his outfit for him.

SRF Party -- Gaon becomes a hit with the ladies & gets introduced to influential players. He also learns more about Yohan and the rich.

Yohan brings Ga On to the Social Responsibility Foundation party and Ms Sun Ah formally introduces herself to Ga On. Ga On then gets flocked by influential women and compliments how handsome he is. He got introduced by the wives of Chairman Park who owns Saram Media, Chairman Min who owns Minbo Group, Kim Sang Sook, Pi Hyang Mi. They complemented him saying that he’s a rising star. The women starts to ask for pictures and he gets extremely uncomfortable with the attention. Yohan observes from afar and seems happy that he’s getting the attention. Yohan saves him from the attention and excuses Ga On. The ladies talk behind his back making comments on how long Ga On can last working for Yohan. SunAh also makes a comment that Ga On is Yohan’s chaperone. He then officially gets introduced to Park Duman (Chairman of People’s Media Group), Min Yongsik (Chairman Of Minbo Group). The President arrives and the event starts. Chairman Seo being the bastard he is touching a server’s lower. SunAh noticed that she’s severely shaking while serving him water, stopped him and punched Chairman Seo in private. During their private conversation looks like SunAh is the leader over the 2.

Yohan makes a speech especially to the President and asks him if it has to be Cha who will protect his fortunes. The President agrees and says that it doesnt have to be Cha who’ll take part on the next presidency. The President says that the next candidate has to be someone who is popular amongst commoners and needs to have a strong background story. What about Yohan? Ga On quietly observes the situation from afar and notices how the huge players are bunch of crazy lunatics.

Ga On stays away from the dinner and has a private discussion with SunAh. SunAh starts discussing about the church fire from 10 yrs ago and mentions that there was a event that day that wasnt reported. Yohan’s older brother wanted to sign a contract stating that he’ll donate his wealth to the SRF. Then suddenly a huge fire broke out that day, coincidence i think not. SunAh tells Ga On that Isaac and his wife died due to the fire. Yohan is alive and the first thing he did after leaving the hospital was to cancel the donations made by his brother. In advance, Yohan brought a doctor’s note saying that Isaac had a weak mind and was incapble of making sound decisions. To think that Yohan did all of this right after his brother died. SunAh gets effected whenever the live show happens because of this situation.

Ga On and Yohan drives back to the mansion in silence. Ga On comments on the observation he made with the rich. Yohan tells him that both the rich and poor are the same when they’re in front of greed.

Lee Youngmin’s second trial

Ms Cha receives a call saying that they want her to deal with her son’s case alone. She also thinks about the choice Yohan gave her during their private discussion. Then a flashback about the wife and husband talking about their son’s case. The husband only cares about their son and not about the titles or the money. He knows that their son wont last a day in prison. The father seem to have more heart than Cha. Cha promises to get their son out even if she has to sacrifice herself. Looks like she has made her decision. Ms Cha then does a press conference and apologizes to the public for damage control. She’ll do this for her own gain and betrayed her son.

The 2nd trial begins with defending the defendant’s actions, citing examples that he grew up alone and the staff were found by him stealing things. With lack of parental love and attention he grew up to become a obsessive and aggressive behavior. They also brought up his results to the screens. They also gave out reasons that the lack of care from the parents resulted him to act that way and mentions for the court to be more generous. Since the prison is made from the tax payer’s money shouldnt Lee compensate to those who are hard working? They made a point and Yohan agreed. Yohan agreed with the statement and came up with appropriate punishment for Lee.

The punishment wouldnt cost any and the defendant will not be isolated from the society, itll only inflict temporary pain. Flagellation. Ga On once again is shocked by the result. Yohan also adds that the society should give the flagellation to him on his parents’ behave. A man once said, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

They show different victims like his own company staff, the restaurant staff, the poor man who he hit and the the rest of the public agreeing with the sentence.

Lee suddenly goes whack and makes crazy comments about the court system. He even knelt down infront of Judge Yohan and apologized. Yohan ofcourse being strict with the sentence announced that he will receive 30 floggings. He also adds that the floggings appears to be the minimum and most humanitarian sentence that he will give. The flogging should be done with transparency and will be watched by the entire nation. The embarrassment.

Ms Cha was also seen signing the sentence agreement with difficulty.

Fire Investigation

Soohyun and Ga On visits a restaurant and talks to Detective Park discussing about the fire incident that happened 10 yrs ago. Park has mentioned that his father goes there for service and Soohyun commented that there wasn’t any service that day due to the charity event that took place. She also added that that there were no records on who attended the charity event. Ga On butts in and asks that the cause of the fire is still unknown. Park mentions that the church was located in a old school building made of wood, nothing was left after it was burnt down. Soohyun asked if he got a statement from Yohan, if he saw anything. The man says that he only visited Yohan once but didnt remember much from the incident which was understandable, saying during the time he was surrounded by chaos.

Once the live court was over, Ga On makes a comment that Yohan cancelled the deed of convent that his own brother wrote. Wouldnt that be a motive for a crime?

Yohan’s cruel past still haunts him

Yohan and Ga On are back at the mansion. Ga On argues with Yohan and says that he’s only doing this for fun. Adding that he only does this to anyone who gets into his way especially his brother. This made Yohan pay more attention. Yohan’s anger becomes explosive after Ga On made a comment on how cruel he is.  Ga On apologized after hearing the story from Yohan. Yohan realizes how people love tragic stories.

Verena Church

Isaac gave out his donation, the people that were involved are the same people who are are part of the live court. The President, Minister Of Justice, etc. Smoke was coming through the door and a fire exploded which burnt down the entire church. Yohan was nowhere to be seen. Elijah calling out for her mother. Who caused the fire? Yohan suddenly saw the church burning and went in and see Isaac, Elijah and Minister Of Justice in scrambles. Isaac is suffering from the smoke while Cha was trying to escape not bothered to save Elijah at all. Isaac saw all of this happening and saved Elijah. Is this the reason why he resents Ms Cha? Yohan tries to save both Isaac and Elijah but they got hit by a wood with fire. Elijah got paralyzed. Isaac didnt survive and before his final breath he told Yohan to get out. Yohan didnt want to but he promises to come back. The fire died down, Yohan survived and saw the same firefighter stealing Isaac’s watch. the firefighter didnt even bother saving Yohan and Elijah or at least helping out to remove Isaac’s dead body. Yohan got out of the church and noticed all of the others who survived especially Minister Of Justice. The cruelty of those people, only saving themselves made Yohan burst into anger.

He’s definitely out to get those influential people who survived the fire especially Minister Of Justice.

[b612sunsets]

Let’s analyze the preview of episode 15 a bit. Take most of what I will say with a grain of salt. If it was that simple to predict things, there wouldn’t exist plot twists in a kdrama of this genre. Most of it is my wishful thinking bc I’m Yohan biased. He could turn out to be completely evil even if I don’t see it and I’ll have to accept my fate.

Here’s the synopsis: “with Gaon's revelation, Jookchang's trial is postponed. Although he believes he is doing the right thing, for some reasons there's something bothering Gaon's mind. On the other hand, Yohan who is again hurt by someone he's come to believe, is now acting unlike his usual self. On another hand, after the postponement of Jookchang's trial, the directors of the Foundation move forward & even start to plan to get rid of Seonah... Will Seonah be able to win in this lonely fight against the Foundation Directors?”

This will be in the start of the episode after the failed trial:

This part will probably be in the middle or end of the episode, look at Gaon’s clothes. It’s daytime and he’s well kept. He got a tip from Jungho and encountered or not Sunah or she was just talking with a different person. Jungho is so sus and annoying. Why he had Soohyun’s notes? And why was Soohyun all smiles when meeting Gaon next to Yohan if she really found something bad about Yohan and wanted to tell Gaon before dying?

Gaon will see the Joseph guy or Jukchang. Then someone will die (my guess is Joseph? Idk, seems like a young man), Gaon tries to make a call before or after finding the body, I think before bc he looks okay and he’s not crying yet but he’s still in the same red lights, he will think he “saw it clearly” (more like judging things on what you see again, love) and blame Yohan for whatever reason he got manipulated into believing:

He will contemplate killing Yohan that same day after everything happens and having the audacity to do it while still staying in Yohan’s house or having the free will to come and go as he pleases. After trying to betray him, Yohan is too effing fond of this boy for allowing him to get away with that. It needs a limit in this situation, your hubby isn’t that sane at the moment nor completely on your side. Gaon is using the same clothes, but a little more disheveled, there’s still light outside (or its night but there’s a light outside the window):

Yohan holds the knife in his hand like Soohyun (the symbolism, yes we know Yohan is Gaon’s new and true love), we can see more than five fingers on it. He was calmly reading a book when he stopped Gaon’s attempt of murder. Gaon didn’t do it with the man that was worse than Yohan responsible for killing his parents and many other awful things until the very end without regretting it, but as soon as Soohyun is gone and there’s a “plausible” reason to kill Yohan, he goes for it? Kill the murderer electrocuted? I mean, it’s too radical on national TV where kids can watch too. But his reasoning was “Nah, Soohyun would hate that, but if it’s me killing Yohan, it’s okay. She would love it bc she didn’t like her love rival anyways”. Why are they like this? They only want to follow the law and do what is right if it’s for their own advantage. I hate hypocrisy. I love you son, but get your facts and logic straight.

Yohan says Gaon would regret it for the rest of his life. He broke their promise of never attacking Yohan again, on top of betraying him. Like Judas after betraying Jesus and having him killed:

Then Yohan’s quiet demeanor is gone and he shouts about Gaon meeting Joseph. I’m leaning towards my theory that Joseph is the key for Yohan to win his revenge and prove publicily at the right time what really happened at that fire, he was trying to keep Joseph safe and hidden, but bc of Gaon and Soohyun’s meddling, other people found out about him (the president, Sunah, Jungho to name a few) and it could have lead to Joseph getting killed. Let me guess, Gaon calmed down a little and told (more like accused after assuming) Yohan about it only after acting on impulse and the mess was already made (same old sh*t but a different day. Like when Gaon thought Yohan was the one that attacked Soohyun and Yohan warned him to never let it happen again, tsk tsk). So that’s Yohan losing his only hope (for now) of solving all this:

I might be completely wrong as I have been before or not. Let’s see. I don’t want to analyze much or expect anything from now on, I’ll just go with the flow, I’m accepting any crumbles thrown my way.

It’s so crazy how Yohan was ready to fight the world, risk everything and do anything as long as he had Gaon and Elijah, he trusted Gaon and let him in, enough to put him in the same place of importance as Elijah. But Gaon is so far from doing the same after all the development their relationship seemed to be having. All it took was some manipulation for Gaon to change so drastically. He should value the people he still has in his life that love him, instead of pushing them away and hurting them like that.

But I can put myself in his place and understand just a little bit. It’s easy for me to say bc I’m a third person watching everything, even what they don’t see. So I can’t hate Gaon or put the full blame on him. I think I never will unless he actually ended up killing Yohan with his foolishness. I’m still on the team lawful family and want to see the three of them alive and happy. I have faith in you Gaon, you’re our only and final hope. You can give or take it away from us.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Soulgaze: Chapter 9

Severability. In the event that any one or more of the provisions contained herein, or the application thereof in any circumstance, is held invalid, illegal or unenforceable, the validity, legality and enforceability of any such provision in every other respect and of the remaining provisions contained herein shall not be affected or impaired thereby.

When Min Jungho tells him he’s going to need to take drastic measures to stay out of Kang Yohan’s awareness, he doesn’t think he means like this.

Read on Ao3 Masterlist

Warnings: magic, supernatural elements, demons

Pairings: gahan

Word Count: 5312

“How did you convince him to do this?” Elijah asks as they walk into the tea shop. “He almost never lets me out of the house.”

“I told him I thought you and Soohyun-ah would be good friends,” which is true, “and that you deserved to get out of the house if you wanted to,” which is also true.

Elijah seems delighted to sit by the window and watch the people go by with him while they wait, asking the waiter to describe the dishes before ordering an iced tea and simple pastry. Gaon glances at his phone.

“She’s just parked. She’ll be in in a moment.”

Soohyun waves when she spots them, coming over to sit next to Gaon. “You must be Elijah! Gaon’s told me about you.”

“He has?” She glances at him. “Like what?”

“Like you’re very smart, you’re already attending Stanford?”

As it turns out, Elijah warms up to Soohyun almost immediately, rattling off information about her school, her studies, her friends. Soohyun laughs, shaking her head.

“I’m afraid that’s a bit too much for me to keep up with. You are very smart.”

“Well, yes,” Elijah says, going back to her pastry, “but Gaon said you’re smart too.”

“I’m a different kind of smart.”

“A different kind?”

“I’m a police officer,” Soohyun says, leaning on the table, “so I have to know how to look for certain things to keep myself safe.”

She elbows Gaon, who yelps.

“And keep this idiot safe too.”

“Gosh, that hurt,” he complains as Elijah giggles, “why did I think it would be a good idea to introduce you two?”

“You’re a cop?” Elijah toys with her straw. “Does that mean I have to call you Officer?”

Soohyun laughs. “You’re not a suspect, Elijah, you don’t have to. You can call me eonni if you want.”

The shy smile on Elijah’s face is worth everything.

They talk about nothing in particular, Gaon tuning out some of the fashion discussions that go right over his head—“ignore him, he’s never known how to dress,”—only for his phone to startle him when it buzzes.

“I’ve got to go,” he says apologetically, “but stay as long as you like, Soohyun can bring you home.”

“I need to go shopping for paint,” Elijah says, looking at Soohyun, “will you take me?”

“Yes, of course.”

Gaon grabs her arm and pulls her closer. “Soohyun-ah,” he whispers, “be careful, please.”

“I’m always careful.”

“No,” he says, pulling her back, “I mean really be careful. No stops.”

She looks at him and a look of understanding crosses her face. She pats his arm. “I’ll be careful, Gaon-ah, don’t worry.”

“Gosh, just go if you need to go,” Elijah calls after him, “don’t worry so much!”

“You should ask Soohyun to play GOT7 in the car!”

“Yah!”

He’s still smiling as he arrives at the office, enough that Jinjoo does a double-take when she sees him come in.

“You look happy today, did something good happen?”

“Something like that.” He glances at the mound of work on her desk. “Did…something new come up?”

“Kang pansa-nim wants us to review cases for the next live trial.” She gestures at her computer. “This is it.”

Back to it, then. “Are there are you’re thinking of so far,” he asks as he sits down, “or any you want me to look at?”

She sighs. “There’s not much of an option. There are a few more businessmen that could be involved with the Foundation and a few of the whistleblowers that have been arrested by Minister Cha, but nothing really.”

Her phone buzzes and she looks at it. She groans.

“What?”

“The President is holding another one of his press conferences,” she says with disdain, “I suppose we should watch it, just to see what they’re saying.”

She turns on the TV and they watch as President Heo talks about making a safer Korea, a better Korea, one free of the scum of foreign workers, the same old garbage. Jinjoo watches with a barely concealed look of disgust on her face.

“One Korea,” the President is saying, “that’s what we’re doing this for!”

Wait.

Gaon frowns. He’s heard that before. Recently. And not from the President.

Jinjoo watches him curiously as he goes to his computer, quickly pulling up one of the live streams that Soohyun was complaining about the last time they spoke on the phone. He pauses the video on the live streamer’s face.

“Jukchang,” he murmurs, reading the name and opening another tab, “I’ve seen your face before.”

“What are you doing?”

“Remember when we were looking in the archives for information on the elite connected to the Dream House project?”

“Yes, why?”

“President Heo used to be a live streamer,” he explains, “so his record will be much easier to go through.”

“I suppose, but what does this have to do with…” She trails off when she sees what Gaon’s pointing at. “Wait, is that the same crazy vigilante who’s been beating up people?”

“He used to be a cameraman for the live streams.” Gaon leans back, glancing up at the TV as the President drones on. “What are the odds they’re still working together?”

“He has been causing a lot of trouble lately,” Jinjoo muses, “and it would make sense. Do you think we could get him to admit what he’s been doing?”

“We can take him out of the equation at the very least.”

“Or make him more of a liability.” She looks down and knocks her elbow against his shoulder. “Good one. You should be the one to suggest it.”

“Me?”

“You’re the one who found it.” She jerks her head toward the door. “Go, let him know.”

Gaon takes the proffered USB and pockets it, walking to Yohan’s door and knocking.

“Come.”

He opens the door and finds Jung Sunah standing way too close to Yohan with an expression that makes his skin crawl from the door. She says something he can’t hear and trails her hand over Yohan’s chest.

“We have work to do,” Yohan says, “don’t we?”

“Mm, yes, I’m sure we do.” She turns away and walks past him, giving Gaon a look in passing that still manages to make him sick.

As the door closes, he turns. “Is she…?”

Yohan shakes his head. “Just fond of touching things that aren’t hers.”

Touching things that aren’t hers…a rough woman…

Gaon’s eyes widen. “The night when you were away, and you said—did she—“

He crosses the room in three quick steps.

“Did she hurt you?”

“Always so worried, baby deer,” Yohan chuckles, “I’m fine.”

“You give me things to worry about,” Gaon grumbles, “and seriously, are you okay? I just saw the end of whatever just happened, but—“

“I’m fine,” Yohan interrupts, a small smile on his face, “but it’s sweet of you to worry.”

Well, someone around here has to.

“What did you need,” he asks, “I imagine you didn’t come up here for that.”

Right. “The next live trial, I know who it should be.”

“Oh?”

“Jukchang.” Gaon holds out the USB. “He’s a punk who beats up people on live streams, but he has ties to the President. Oh pansa and I think they might still be working together.”

Yohan takes the drive, turning it over in his fingers. “You think this might be President Heo’s attack dog?”

“Yes.” Gaon folds his arms. “He hasn’t been arrested for anything yet, but—“

“But we can fix that,” Yohan interrupts, looking at him, “can’t we?”

“We can?”

“Chief Jo can’t make the arrest, he’s working on something else for me at the moment, and it might be too obvious.” Yohan steps closer. “But maybe there’s another one who can.”

Gaon’s eyes widen. “Soohyun?”

He squints.

“Why the endorsement all of a sudden?”

Something in Yohan’s expression softens. “Elijah texted me to say she’s home safe. She said that eonni had treated her to lunch too so ‘don’t worry about me eating.’”

Elijah’s safe, Gaon thinks, a relieved smile on his face, and Soohyun is looking out for her.

“I was right,” he can’t help saying, “they do get along.”

“Yes, you were right for once.”

“For on—yah!”

———

K picks him up that evening to drive him back to the manor.

“Bujangnim is working late tonight,” he says by way of explanation, “and Elijah wants you there.”

Yes, I’m sure Elijah is the only one.

K glances at him as they drive. “I was surprised by you, you know, when Yohan asked me to look into your history.”

Gaon turns, slightly taken aback at how informally K addresses Yohan. “How come?”

“Given your background, I thought you might be a problem. You didn’t show much potential.”

“Potential?”

“To be part of the team.”

Gaon stares out the window. Despite the ache it causes in his chest, K’s bluntness rings true; he can’t say he imagined himself in a position like this when he first started working at the live court show either.

Then again, he didn’t expect much of that first day to go as it had, and now…

He could hardly go back to listening to Professor Min after that.

“You were right to be suspicious,” he says to K’s surprise, “but I’m here now.”

He meets the other man’s gaze, trying to convey how sincere he is. K watches him for a moment before nodding in approval.

“I won’t deny that I’m surprised you stayed.” He looks back at the road. “He told me how you met.”

Gaon scoffs. “Yes, and then he has the audacity to scold me for not paying attention like I don’t have something else to worry about.”

K chuckles, “he did mention that too.”

Gaon shakes his head, both of them contemplating the absurdity that is Kang Yohan. After a pause, he looks over. “How did you meet him?”

K sighs. “In the exact opposite way you did.”

“How so?”

“When my father committed suicide, he knew about it.” His hands tense on the wheel. “At first I thought he might’ve had something to do with it, then when I found out he didn’t, I tried to trade my soul to get justice.”

Gaon’s breath catches. “…did you?”

K glances at him. “No. He wouldn’t take it. Told me it was worth more than that, but he offered me a place by his side while he sought to right the wrongs Minister Cha has committed.”

The road rumbles underneath them.

“You don’t stop playing this game,” K says suddenly, “until it’s over.”

“Huh?”

“This,” K repeats, “with Yohan and the elite and the big game between them. Once you’re in it, you’re in it. It becomes your life.”

The house looms large in front of them.

“You weren’t meant to get in this game, Kim Gaon,” K says as they pull under the shadow, “just make sure it’s where you want to stay.”

Gaon lets the warning sink in. K watches him closely. He looks back.

“Will you come in for dinner?”

———

If you had told me, Gaon thinks as he watches Soohyun, Yohan, K, and Jinjoo finalize the plan for Jukchang’s arrest and trial, before all of this started, that this is what my time at the live court show would turn into, I would have laughed.

Soohyun, of course, walks in, spots K, and grins sheepishly. “How’s your nose?”

“It’s healing fine, thank you.”

“You two…know each other?”

“I spotted him tailing me,” Soohyun explains, because of course he has to be the last person to find something out again, “so I dealt with it.”

“’Dealt with it?’”

“I broke his nose.”

Yohan hums. “Ah, so that’s why you came back with your face all bruised.”

K waves him off. “At least she noticed.”

Soohyun turns to him. “Really, Gaon-ah, after how long we spent going over how to notice someone following you? You really should—“

“Do not,” Gaon interrupts, pointing at her, “finish that sentence.”

He’s having enough of a hard time dealing with Yohan’s smug face over her shoulder.

“Gaon-ah—“

“Why am I the only one having trouble getting here,” he grumbles, “why am I the only one reacting like a normal person?”

He looks around at the unrepentant faces and something horrible dawns on him.

“Gosh,” he whispers, “I’m the sane one?”

“Only relatively speaking,” Soohyun says, patting his shoulder, “Professor Min would be proud.”

She turns away before she can notice him flinch, but he catches Yohan’s gaze on him, eyes narrowed.

“Are we ready?”

Soohyun nods, motioning between her and K. “We’ll make the arrest, you get approval for the trial, right?”

“We should hurry,” K says, looking at his phone, “Elijah says she doesn’t know how much longer the intel will be good for.”

Jinjoo tilts her head as she watches them leave. “Is it just me, or did they…?”

“It’s just you,” Gaon says firmly.

Yohan looks at them, brow furrowed. “What are you two talking about?”

“Nothing important,” Gaon says lightly, before turning back to Jinjoo, “but she did ask me for your number.”

“My number? Why?”

“You’ll get along.”

———

“Well,” Gaon asks as Yohan walks out of the Chief Justice’s office, “did we get approval?”

Yohan looks between the eager faces of his Associate Judges and nods.

“Yes,” Jinjoo mutters, clenching her fist.

“Let me set this one up,” Gaon says, “I know how to handle people like Jukchang.”

Yohan pauses, looking at him curiously. “You?”

Gaon nods. Jinjoo agrees, saying, “I have something I’d like to say to him, but Kim pansa’s plan is perfect.”

“You two have been conspiring without me,” Yohan accuses, amusement playing over his features, “alright, fine. Have it your way.”

“You’ll be pleased,” Gaon assures, “don’t worry.”

“Mm.”

It does briefly cross Gaon’s mind, as he sits down with Lawyer Ko to figure out the minutia of what’s about to happen, that this is unfair. There is no way to skirt the fact that they are manipulating the systems they’re sworn to uphold, that they’re toying with public opinion to serve their own means.

Then he hears the crowds chanting for Jukchang and the passing din of the President’s press conference in defense of him and he pushes his shoulders back.

Showtime.

He wonders, in the midst of tearing into Jukchang—or Kim Choongsik—if this is how Yohan must’ve felt in the other trials. Watching the public turn from fearing the upstart vigilante to pointing in scorn at the attention-seeking little boy, seeing someone despicable left scrambling aimlessly in the middle of the court he swaggered into minutes earlier. Jinjoo’s speech is incredible, enough to make most of the people in the room start to glare suspiciously at the defendant, but by the time Yohan finally calls for a recess, the room is whispering about how awful, how immature, how could he be like this?

He can’t bring himself to stop smiling once they leave, bowing his head to keep it hidden until they get to Yohan’s office.

A hand under his chin makes him lift it, revealing his smile to Yohan.

“You look very proud of yourself.”

“I am.”

Yohan nods, a mirroring smile spreading across his face. “You should be.”

“I told you,” Jinjoo says, “it was perfect.”

“I did say I had experience with people like him.”

But they can’t bask in the glory of the trial for much longer; they’re here to decide what the sentence will actually be. Yohan reveals that Chairwoman Jung had reached out to him—

“Literally, I bet,” Gaon mutters.

—to ask that he not be treated too harshly. A scolding in court and to let him go.

Gaon narrows his eyes. “You’re imaging taking that phrasing literally, aren’t you?”

“Parole is typically expected for these types of cases, is it not?”

“So what’s the catch?”

“You want to turn his followers against him,” Jinjoo deduces, “by letting him go now that he’s been stripped of his online persona.”

“Let the attack dogs hurt each other.” Yohan spreads his hands. “And see which masters come to defend them.”

“But if they do get their hands back on him,” Gaon points out, “then all we’ll have done is just made them angrier.”

Yohan raises an eyebrow. ���It must be a day of the week, then.”

“What if we sentence him to community service?”

They look over at Jinjoo. She holds up a tablet.

“If we have him serve his parole as a member of one of the charitable organizations, we’ll have a direct way to observe him and whoever tries to get at him while he’s in there.”

“And that doesn’t stop his followers from finding him,” Gaon says, “if they really want to.”

“That does place him close to Chairwoman Jung,” Yohan points out.

“But that also gives us the opportunity to see if she actually reaches out to him.”

Yohan nods, looking between the two of them. “Let’s not keep him waiting, then.”

He holds Gaon back for a moment as Jinjoo leaves.

“Do you see,” he teases, “what happens when you pay attention?”

“Really? Right now?”

“You’ve done very well this time, baby deer,” he says, serious now, “but that means that other people are going to start paying attention.”

He rests a hand on Gaon’s shoulder.

“I need you to be ready for that.”

Gaon looks at him for a moment, then covers Yohan’s hand with his. “You’ll help, won’t you?”

Yohan looks stunned for a moment before he nods. Gaon smiles.

“Then yes, I’m ready.”

———

Ready turns into worried more quickly than he’d like to admit, especially as the days stretch on and the only news they get is that the President is growing more and more outrageous and Minister Cha is starting to panic. K tells them that she’s growing desperate, reaching out to the other members of the elite to help, but they’re all pulling away from her.

“She’s the most powerful out of all of them,” Yohan explains, “so now they have a chance to turn against her, they’re taking it.”

“Do you think any of them will want to help her? Even if she offers them something?”

“She has a file with information on all of them.” He takes a drink of coffee. “It’s unlikely.”

He hides a smirk behind his next drink.

“Besides, she’s done a good enough job of driving them away on her own.”

Something about the way he says it makes Gaon narrow his eyes. “What did you do?”

“Good,” Yohan chuckles, “you are paying attention.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Patience, baby deer.” He sets down the mug. “I gave her some information about Jung Sunah’s past that will keep them from working together.”

Gaon frowns. “Minister Cha doesn’t seem like the type of person to care if you’re a criminal or not, as long as you’re useful.”

“Why did you assume I offered her something criminal?”

“…did you not?”

“I did,” he says, leaning back in his chair, “but that’s not what will keep Minister Cha from using her as a lifeline.”

Realization strikes him. “You gave her blackmail material?”

Yohan smirks. “Minister Cha thinks of herself as above the petty lives of most of Korea,” he says with a wave of his hand, “especially those who have grand aspirations of clawing their way to higher standings.”

“Speak plainly. What did you tell her?”

“I didn’t tell her anything, K’s been leaking information to Secretary Kim for a while now.”

“Isn’t that the one who was getting transfers from Doh Youngchoon?”

“The very same.”

Gaon shifts to ease a cramp in his leg. “So what information did he end up with?”

“Some of my personal history with Jung Sunah.” Yohan chuckles when Gaon draws back in alarm. “There’s no need to look so scandalized, baby deer, it’s nothing untoward.”

“Your what?”

“She used to work as a maid here.” He gestures around at the walls. “In this very house. She claims it’s where her love of all things sparkly came from.”

Gaon is still stuck on the part where Jung Sunah used to work as a maid for Yohan’s family. “So does she…know?”

“That I’m a demon?” Yohan hums. “I would guess that’s what made her like me so much.”

He thinks of the way he’s seen Chairwoman Jung look at Yohan and shudders. Yohan chuckles at his reaction.

“Did no one tell you, then?”

“Why does everyone assume everyone else is telling me things,” Gaon grumbles, “do you not talk to each other? Or is it only to catch me out on not paying attention?”

Silence. He bites back a wince.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that.” He looks up. “Tell me what?”

Yohan watches him carefully for a moment. “When she was younger, I made her jump out of a second-story window.”

Well, that was not what Gaon was expecting him to say. “What exactly happened?”

Yohan looks away again, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Always with the surprises, baby deer.”

“What did I do?”

“You’re the first person to ask me what happened instead of jumping to conclusions.”

“Someone jumped out a window, I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to jump to conclusions.”

He’s rewarded with another surprised bark of laughter as Yohan picks the coffee back up. “She said she liked me, that she didn’t like that my father kept me in the basement, that she didn’t care that I was a demon. Then I caught her stealing.”

“Stealing? What did she steal?”

“Oh, a great many things,” Yohan says, “but the one I caught her for was a necklace. A silver cross.”

“What did she want with it?”

Something humorless crawls into his smirk. “Perhaps she knew I liked it too. It was Isaac’s favorite, gifted to him by his wife when they were married.”

The mug hits the table with a clink.

“She took it and when I caught her, she asked if I would punish her. I said I wouldn’t.”

Gaon frowns. “But she jumped out the window?”

“She said that she liked me, I asked her how much she liked me, if she’d jump out the window if I asked.”

Gaon pauses, mulling over Yohan’s words. That certainly colors the interactions the two of them have had since in a different way, and why the way Jung Sunah looks at Yohan feels so...well, knowing.

“…so does Minister Cha know all of that now, too?”

“No,” Yohan chuckles, “just that she used to be a maid. Why, do you think I should tell her that story too?”

Gaon spends about ten seconds trying to imagine what Minister Cha’s face would look like if Yohan told her that story and decides no, that’s not something he needs to spend more time thinking about.

“If Minister Cha uses that information against Chairwoman Jung,” he says instead, “she’s going to figure out it was you who revealed it.”

Yohan hums, taking another drink. “She keeps coming to me and trying to convince me to be on her side,” he says, mostly to himself, “she thinks we’re both lonely…

He turns back.

“Perhaps this will be the push she needs to understand it’s not going to happen.”

“It’s not?”

Yohan gives him a questioning look. “Why so uncertain, baby deer?”

Gaon shakes his head. “Never mind.”

He doesn’t bother to give voice to his own insecurities about the implications of Yohan’s words. After all the trouble he’s gone to, making sure Gaon stays on his side for…whatever reason it is, dismissing someone in Jung Sunah’s position so quickly sets a strange churn in his stomach.

“But you’re right,” Yohan says after a moment, “she will respond. We just have to be prepared for the consequences.”

‘Consequences’ end up meaning ‘dinner.’

Gaon blinks a few times when Yohan informs him that he’s bringing Jung Sunah home for dinner and manages to stare at his phone for only ten seconds after hanging up.

Well, if the point is to demonstrate that Yohan isn’t lonely, he can deliver.

“Elijah,” he calls as he goes downstairs, “would you like to help make dinner?”

“Yes!”

He hides a smile as he gets to the kitchen only a few seconds before Elijah comes wheeling inside. She looks breathless as if she raced to get here.

“What are we making?”

“There’s going to be a guest, apparently, so we need to make a lot of whatever it is.” He opens the fridge. “How do you feel about jjajangmyeon?”

“Okay. Can you hand me the good cutting board this time?”

“Yes, Elijah, and the good knife.”

“Perfect.”

As he starts, he closes his eyes for a moment and imagines he’s back in his parent’s kitchen. His mother comes in and scoops him up, setting him on a stool so he’s level with the counter. His father warns him to be careful with the knife, guiding his hands to make sure he cuts the meat and not his fingers. The kitchen grows warm as the noodles cook, steam billowing off the pot.

“Gaon?”

He blinks. Elijah looks up at him, frowning.

“Are you okay? You were staring at nothing.”

“Just remembering,” he says, “my parents used to cook this for me.”

“Oh.” There are a few moments of quiet as they start to prepare the food. “Will you tell me about them?”

Gaon smiles and tells her about the way his father spent hours pouring over the blueprints for the restaurant, comparing paint samples, and talking to their electrician friend. He tells her about how his mother printed out samples of their menus and had Gaon practice ordering off of them, just so he could see how they would look. He tells her about having Soohyun and her family over for dinner while they tried out new dishes, about how the whole house would ring with the noise of happy, full bellies.

When the jjajangmyeon is done and the side dishes are ready, Elijah has a wistful smile on her face.

“We should have eonni over for dinner,” she decides, “then she can tell me about it too.”

“…if you want,” Gaon offers hesitantly, “you could come to my apartment too. I have some of my parent’s old recipe books there.”

“Eonni took me to your roof.” Elijah scrunches her nose. “You have so many plants.”

“Well, I can’t fit all of them inside, now, can I? Then I’d have to sleep outside.”

Elijah’s about to retort when they hear the front door open and close. Gaon instinctively stands up taller. It’s time.

“Help me set the table,” he asks quietly, “yes?”

Elijah notices his shift in behavior, frowning but doing as she’s told. They lay everything out as the footsteps get closer and closer. When they pause just outside the kitchen, Gaon takes his cue.

“Chairwoman Jung,” he calls, smiling, “bujangnim told me you were coming. Please, dinner’s almost ready.”

He turns away before he can see her face fall, bringing over the last two dishes as she walks in slowly. He finishes setting the table as Yohan sits down, waiting for her to do the same.

“My, Kim pansa,” she says, looking at the amount of food laid out, “it smells wonderful. I had no idea you had so many hidden talents.”

“I had no idea of your talents either.”

Yohan hides a smile as Elijah looks at the Chairwoman.

“Are you two dating?”

“Dear lord, you’re insistent,” Yohan mutters, “no, Elijah, we’re not dating. We work together.”

“We are very close, though,” Chairwoman Jung says, smiling sweetly at Elijah, “and we’ve known each other for a long time.”

As Yohan starts to pour wine for the three of them, part of Gaon is immensely glad Elijah tries to offer her own and he has an excuse to reach out and pull it away.

“What am I supposed to drink?”

“You have your juice.”

“You’re no fun.”

“We just have to wait for our other guest,” Yohan says, “before we can start.”

Chairwoman Jung frowns. “Other guest?”

Gaon looks up as Mrs. Ji walks into the room, gesturing for her to sit on Elijah’s other side. He doesn’t catch the moment Chairwoman Jung sees her walk in too, but he looks up as Yohan raises his glass.

“A toast, then, to Jung Sunah, who has finally found her way back home.”

Ah.

Mrs. Ji’s mouth drops as she recognizes the other woman. “Jung Sunah? Is that really you?”

Yohan clinks his glass against a still one, held aloft in shock, and quietly asks Gaon if he can pass the food.

———

There’s a knock on the door.

“Yes?”

Elijah opens the door and rolls inside. Gaon sits up from his place on the bed.

“Is there something wrong?”

“You left right after dinner,” she says accusingly, “I had to say goodbye by myself.”

“Ah, you’re right.”

Mrs. Ji had insisted Gaon leave the cleanup to her, and Yohan had left to drive Chairwoman Jung home after they’d awkwardly missed about half of the meal. Gaon had politely excused himself to go hide upstairs, away from them, which did leave Elijah all by herself.

“Sorry,” he says, “I guess I’m just tired.”

Elijah stares at him. Her eyes narrow. “You don’t like Jung sajangnim, do you?”

He blinks. “What makes you say that?”

“You wouldn’t look at her most of the time,” she lists, “you acted like you didn’t want her there, and you kept looking at the door when she and Yohan were gone.”

“You’re very perceptive,” he sighs, “you must get that from your uncle.”

“You’re not answering the question.”

“You definitely get that from your uncle.” He sighs. “No, Elijah, I don’t like her.”

“Why not?”

Gaon pauses, debating how much to say. “She…she makes work hard to do,” he settles on eventually, “and we don’t agree on a lot of things.”

He looks over at her.

“Do you like her?”

“No. She’s weird.” Elijah scowls at the floor. “I don’t like the way she looks at me. Or you.”

The scowl deepens.

“Or Yohan.”

Gaon huffs. “I don’t like the way she looks at Yohan either.”

“Were you jealous?”

“What?”

“Were you jealous of her?” Elijah looks him up and down. “You acted weird when they were gone and you ran away really quickly.”

Is he jealous? He doesn’t really have a reason to be, not when all he’s seen Yohan offer Chairwoman Jung is a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and thinly veiled threats.

But then why is his chest aching and why is his face threatening to flush at the idea of moping over Yohan giving someone else attention?

For the same reason it was difficult to believe Yohan wouldn’t want someone like her on his side.

“No, Elijah,” he says, “I’m not jealous.”

He allows himself a small smile.

“I’m the one that gets to cook for you all the time.”

“Good.”

He looks up, surprised.

“You shouldn’t be jealous of her,” Elijah says, determined, “she’s not going to be coming back here, anyway.”

It startles a laugh out of him. “You should tell bujangnim that.”

“I will.”

The clock in the outside hall ticks.

“Why did he bring her here?”

He shakes his head, shrugging. “I’ve been told I don’t pay enough attention. I guess I wasn’t tonight either.”

Elijah’s quiet for a moment, then she wheels up to him and rests her hand on his arm. She glances at the bed next to him. He nods, helping her push herself up to sit next to him. She leans her head on his shoulder.

“I’m glad they’re not dating,” she mumbles after a while.

Gaon closes his eyes. “Me too.”

“I like you better anyway.”

Warmth curls in Gaon’s belly and he smiles, closing his eyes and letting his head rest against hers.

[thedeviljudges]

we all love gaon being lovestruck and yearning™, but what about the other way around? yohan seeing how free and giving gaon is with his affection and being desperate and greedy for it but he's never learnt how to go about asking for this??? humans are usually cruel, so??? he wants, no he /needs/ more of it from gaon, his gentle touches and loving smiles and warm words, but how does he get it? what offer does gaon require from him in exchange for his love and kindness? it's truly an enigma,

(answering you first, and then mini fic below!!!)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have my heart for this post. because!!!!!!! pining, heartsick yohan is literally what we witnessed for more than half the series, and the way gaon is able to mend people through his gentleness and kindness is why yohan falls for him to begin with—because it's unexpected, and it's different and unlike anyone (aside from isaac) he's ever met. they would certainly struggle with this after.

and the thing is, yohan does get greedy with it. he asks gaon to choose a side (even though yohan tried to get soohyun to join them and failed), but yohan doesn't know how to ask. everything he does is always misinterpreted because yohan's actions are pretty much another language. learning to actually communicate the way everyone else does is so difficult for him because he didn't have the social upbringing everyone else had, and i think that's why he struggles and would absolutely struggle in the future when they're together because yohan simply doesn't know how to ask for things (and i don't just mean verbally either. you even see his actions don't really align with what's expected of someone who is asking of something).

i think one component we haven't explored within the show is the line "i would've done anything to get you on my side." i think a lot of us have interpreted it as yohan stooping to any level to get gaon on his side (and he's even said as much), but i think it could also certainly mean that yohan would offer gaon anything—as in, yohan had to give gaon things to make him stay. yohan knew he himself wouldn't be enough. so he gave him the story of his parent's murder; he let gaon tend to his family because gaon wanted to. he let gaon go back to soohyun. these small gestures were proof of yohan's love of gaon because he literally would do anything to keep gaon on his side—he would make gaon happy at the expense of himself.

so for yohan, that has always been a conditional component without realizing that it hadn't ever been that to begin with because gaon willingly stayed by yohan's side, defended him when he wasn't around, and let himself find a family he loved. but yohan believed himself to be a monster and unworthy of that.

so WITH THAT SAID, here is a mini fic:

moving forward, yohan absolutely tries his best to find the things that generate responses from gaon he wants, and not in the traditional manner of simply asking. he gives gaon evidence for his cases sometimes, which actually makes gaon frown with upset. he buys him new suits and cuffs. there's always fresh food for gaon to cook with. anything gaon wants, he gets. but there's always an underlying worry about gaon's brow, yohan's tactics clearly not working until he finally asks, "are you not happy?"

biting the inside of his cheek, gaon sits back in his chair. the creak is loud in between the silent pause of his answer. it's been weeks, and gaon hasn't said anything. truthfully, he figured yohan's tunnel vision would pass with time, but it's certain he's more determined than ever to warm gaon up, to buy him. he hasn't quite figured out for what yet. "they certainly are nice," he admits. gaon cannot deny that luxury and taste yohan has for the finer things. but they'd never been what he'd desired.

"but you're not happy," yohan notes, the furrow in his brow an indication that the puzzle in his mind hasn't been solved.

with a sigh, gaon rubs his thumb against the middle of his forehead. "yes, these things don't make me smile."

"i see. then what would?” yohan asks, firmly. “i'll make sure of it." subtly, and without thinking, yohan's hand slide across the short distance of the table. pausing, briefly, when he realizes what he's intending, fingers twitching and heart constricting. with clear evidence, he retreats, pulls outstretched hands away from the one source of warmth he's come to love but cannot ask for.

yohan's mind is whirring, thinking of possibilities and conversations past where gaon had been full of joy. they're wispy, thin like smoke, and yohan’s unsuccessfully tried to recreate those memories. it's clear what he's done now isn't enough, but he can't quite pinpoint what sins he's committed this time to wipe away the joy gaon usually feels.

but between the movements and the dust settling, gaon's head cocks to the side. his facial expression, what was once full of frustration, evens out. yohan's slow retreat isn't subtle. it's too much movement, and gaon recognizes the tension and the restraint, blinks once, and it's still there.

mouth parting slightly, the soft oh that breaks from his lips is enough to spring him into action. shifting in his chair, gaon reaches forward before yohan has the chance to curl in on himself. quickly, gaon stops yohan's movements by curling the palm of his hands over his boyfriend's, cupping the warm skin beneath his and squeezing.

it takes him a moment, then, to figure out what he wants to say. yohan’s stilled, mouth slightly ajar, almost panicked if gaon were to guess the emotion flitting behind his eyes. he looks caught, like gaon’s saw right through him again, and if he didn’t know any better, gaon would say he was the worst at reading emotions. but yohan is different in the way that his eyes tell all, even in the moments he doesn’t want them to. “you know i love you, right?”

gaon swears he can feel the minute yohan loses his breath, throat tight where words and emotions are stuck. understandably, this is a cavern they’ve yet to explore. “do you, yohan?”

it’s curt, abrupt, but yohan nods.

gaon doesn’t approve. “you know that, don’t you?” this time when he lets one of yohan’s hands go, he turns its so the the patterns and deep lines are visible. gentle as can be, gaon traces with his fingers, too chunky and uncoordinated to follow every indent correctly.

there is still no reply, so gaon waits. for how long, he isn’t sure, but when he’s felt the tension alleviate itself, when yohan’s fingers go soft and palm stretched wide, gaon smiles. “it’s that easy,” he says, gaze flickering to meet yohan’s. “you just have to ask,” he follows up in the event yohan’s not listening. but by the subtle lift of his lip, gaon knows it to be true. “just ask.”

then, gaon cups yohan’s wrist, nudges until he’s guiding yohan, until his lips press deeply into the warm skin of yohan’s hand. the gasp is quiet, and yohan tries to pull away at first, but gaon doesn’t let go. as insistent as he can be, gaon continues, pressing light, tender kisses until every surface is covered. “ask me, yohan,” gaon commands, thumb replacing his lips. he rubs carefully, continues building warmth and honesty between them.

this is difficult for yohan, gaon knows that much. the swallow, the pinprick of tears. but this isn’t punishment either. gaon is grateful for what he’s given, and more so for the family he was allowed to call his, but that is not all there is, that exists. gaon is not the only piece in this very thread that links them all together.

it takes a few tries, but gaon knows how to be patient. yohan’s lips part, and then they close. he works his jaw, and he blinks far too many times in the span of a minute. but it’s the cusp of trying, so gaon waits even more. he draws patterns with one hand, keeps his fingers intertwined with yohan’s other.

eventually, yohan squeezes gaon’s attention back to himself and smiles in that half-sincere, half-forced manner he’s used to when elijah asks for a favor and yohan wants to say no but cannot.

“will you sit with me?” he says, nearly devoid of emotion, but gaon doesn’t take it to heart. instead, he smiles, his eye whiskers deepening as he does.

“and hold your hand?” gaon prompts. he scrunches his nose, drawing yohan’s attention with narrowed eyes, like he’s finally caught on to gaon’s game.

shoulders slumped in defeat, but the layers of distress unraveling quickly, yohan returns gaon’s grin with one of his own. “and hold my hand,” he says, with just a hint of reluctance.

once more, gaon leans down to kiss the palm of yohan’s hand, letting go to stand up. the chair scratches against the floor from the quick movement, leaving no time for yohan’s bearings when gaon rounds the table.

the close proximity is nothing new for them, but gaon’s forwardness in these instances surprise yohan the more they live together, the barriers broken and the bridges building. gaon reaches for yohan’s hand, firm and solid and he pulls yohan up onto his feet with little effort. yohan’s balance wavers, catching himself between the table and gaon. the deep rumble of gaon’s chest is much like one of kkomi’s purrs, the laughter slipping through a bright smile.

yohan’s breath doesn’t quite return to the state it had once been in before this conversation, but how could it when gaon pulls them close, leading them into the living? the demands he has are no match for yohan, and it’s not as if he’d fight the younger on it anyway. but it’s different like this, when gaon looks at him expectantly now, asking yohan to take the lead any way he wants.

the request, even if silent, is a new one for him. it’s overwhelming, and he almost loses the ability to think clearly until gaon’s gentle voice reaches out like the lifeline yohan’s learned he loves. “yohan?”

he nods, deeply, the courage not all the way there. he thinks how much of a coward he is in this moment in comparison to the life he’s lived, why this scares him above all and most importantly, why he’s afraid of letting one of the only person he trusts see him for what he needs.

yohan’s tongue is thick, and his mouth is dry. he’ll choke on his words, but gaon is there and despite how nervous he feels, he’s never felt safer in his life. caught on a short intake of breath, yohan lowers his gaze to the couch and thinks about what he’d like, if he could have it.

“hold me?” he asks quietly, but to his own ears, it sounds like the loudest thing in the world. he does not look at gaon at any moment, and he doesn’t miss the accelerated rise and fall of his chest until his hand is dropped and gaon is cupping his face.

the man before him with honey-kind eyes and tenderness searches yohan’s face for a time, pulled into the lull of an emotion that encompasses only the two of them.

when gaon is satisfied with whatever he’s found, his fond peaks through again, smile wide and eyes hidden in mirth. “gladly, yohan. i will hold you forever.”

yohan’s never understood the expression of one’s heart singing, but he thinks maybe there are some things that are true if he can feel it; they just have to be experienced in the most delightful way possible.

and maybe it’s not so bad asking sometimes when he has the courage, however few and far between it’s there, because sitting with gaon like this, with his arm draped around yohan’s shoulders, pressed deeply into his chest as they watch tv, is more than he could’ve asked for. and he knows, logically, he can have it again. he’ll want it again for as long as gaon will have him.

[killerandhealerqueen]

headcanon ask,

As we all know Elijah barely knows anything about Gaon. You know, the way he suffered for 13 years after his parents died, the way he lived alone, having no one to comfort him. Yohan knows everything but Elijah doesn't. What if one day, Elijah yells gaon over something and gaon's really hurt by that because one, he loved the girl as his own child and two, he feels really alone. (I know Elijah is a sweet girl. But you know. She has a temper as well) Yohan finds about this and he explains how Gaon suffered all those years, being abandoned and alone, being mentally unstable (we all know that he was mentally unstable but who doesn't right? After all those things?) And advices her to not to hurt gaon again.

(and lastly I'm sorry Elijah. I know you're a sweet and cute girl..but this time you gotta be harsh mouthed towards gaon)

This was inspired by the scene where gaon prepares a Korean meal for them for the first time. And when gaon said he lived alone for 13 years. Yeah that's what I took inspiration for this ask..

Thank you!

Ooo, pain. Love that

Gaon loves Elijah. He really does. He's always wanted kids so to be able to look after Elijah and love on her has really been a blessing

Elijah loves Gaon too, he reminds her a lot of her dad (the fact that they share the same face is just a coincidence) but also...he's not her dad. But she doesn't care. She loves him anyways

Even though Elijah loves Gaon...she still says things that hurt him. Of course, she doesn't mean to...but she's got a temper just like her uncle so when she's upset, things just sort of...come out

Like once when Gaon was scolding Elijah for something, Elijah just glares at him before she screams that he's not her dad and that he can't tell her what to do

Gaon knows that he's not her father but someone still needs to discipline her and tell her what's right and what's wrong because she's still a kid, you know?

So he continues to scold her (in a nice way, he's very calm about it) but Elijah just screams that she hates him and hates his cooking and wishes that Yohan never brought him home and the only reason why Yohan let Gaon stay is because he has no home and no family and that Gaon's just a sad little stray

Gaon stares at her as if he's been slapped but he says nothing and just walks out of the dining room and heads to his room, quietly closing the door behind him. Elijah watches him leave, her chest rising and falling from having screamed so much, before she wipes her eyes, not even realizing that she was crying

"Elijah"

Elijah then turns to see Yohan leaning up against the door frame of the dining room and she sniffles

"What"

Yohan then calmly walks over to her and sits down in one of the chairs as he looks at her

"You know you shouldn't have said those things to Gaon, right?"

Elijah huffs and looks away as Yohan sighs

"Gaon...has suffered...a lot. He lost his parents at sixteen...both to suicide. He nearly committed suicide a few times as well..."

Elijah slowly turns to look at him, horror in her eyes as Yohan nods solemnly. Elijah then immediately turns and wheels herself out of the dining room, heading to Gaon's room

She heads to the elevator and takes it up to the second floor, wheeling over to Gaon's room. She then knocks on the door before turning the knob and wheeling herself into the room, where she finds Gaon sitting on his bed, reading a book

"Gaon?"

Gaon turns at the sound of Elijah's voice and when he sees her, he smiles softly

"Oh, Elijah"

At Gaon's smile, Elijah lets out a whimper before she wheels herself over to his bed and reaches out, grabbing Gaon's shirt before pulling him into a hug

Gaon is shocked and surprised by Elijah's sudden show of affection until he realizes that Elijah's crying and now he's freaking out. He quickly wraps his arms around her and soothes her, trying to figure out why she's crying until she just looks up at him with teary eyes

"I'm sorry"

Gaon is confusion until Elijah explains to him that Yohan told her about his past and everything and now she feels really bad for saying those things about Gaon

Gaon is stunned as Elijah buries her face in his chest and just apologizes, saying that she doesn't hate him, she doesn't hate his cooking, she's grateful that Yohan brought him home and that's she's really sorry for calling him a stray

Gaon just chuffs and shakes his head as he gently pets her hair, assuring her that everyone says things they don't mean when they're angry but Elijah's just like...yeah but I still shouldn't have said it

Gaon hums and agrees that what she said was hurtful but he accepts her apology and just instructs her to just be more careful with what she says next time

Elijah nods before she glances up at Gaon

"Gaon?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you"

Gaon's stunned into silence by Elijah's statement before he smiles and gives Elijah a tight squeeze

"I love you too, Elijah"