#someone tell me what their ship name is and ill do it

[rawpastamoth]

Happy Pride month. Gay spacemen

[sofs16]

a wild ride — ln4

fc: hailee steinfeld | warnings : celebrity x fan

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆imessage — lando and oscar Lando Norris

Osccccccc

who did you invite to the garage?

Oscar Piastri

A few celebrities that follow me and long time fans. McLaren gave a list of people we could invite.

Lando Norris

Did they tell you to interact with fans more too?

Oscar Piastri

Yeah. Logan said they told him and Alex the same, so I’m guessing not only us. [Reacted 👍🏻]

landonorris

📍 Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

liked by carlossainz55, norrisupdated, and others

landonorris Exploring done. Back to work tomorrow. Let’s get it!

view all 21,484 comments

user1 thank you for unfollowing someone ♥︎ author

⤷ user2 ???

⤷user3 he followed 556 people and now 555 so angel number! norrisupdated i told my mom about you😖

⤷landonorris and what’d she say?

⤷ norrisupdated we’d make a good 🍐! ⤷ landonorris i like your humor, user norrisupdated

march 20, 2024

norrisupdated

liked by landonorris, and 8,854 others

norrisupdated via landonorris’ Instagram post 😎 : “Exploring done. Back to work tomorrow. Let’s get it!“

— i hope he knows we’re waiting for a lando.jpg comeback

#landonorris #ln4

view all 295 comments

loverwags GIRL HE REPLIED TO YOUR COMMENT!!! ⤷ norrisupdated YES😭 trying to hard to act nonchalant abt this.

landonorris how are you so quick

⤷ norrisupdated LANDO WHY ARE YOU HERE 😭😭😭😭 and im ashamed to admit i’ve had years of practice on your notifs 😖

user3 praise lando for another norrisupdated admin reveal😍

⤷ user4 her main acc is legit on her bio 😭😭😭

march 20, 2024

ᝰ.ᐟ norrisupdated just posted a story!

seen by landonorris, and 32k others

landonorris replied! 4:45 AM landonorris that was YOU? IM SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY FOLLOWED AND UNFOLLOWED YOU😭 ⤷ norrisupdated LANDO ITS FINE SORP STALKIHN ME IM SCARED ⤷ landonorris i thought fan accounts liked interactions 😢 ⤷norrisupdated Yes but it’s 4 in the morning and i’m processing this is you. ⤷ landonorris what??????? GO TO SLEEP ⤷ norrisupdated but if i sleep ill never talk to u again 😔 ⤷ landonorris i promise i will still stalk you by the time you wake up! now get sleep or else… SOMETJING ⤷ norrisupdated going to sleep 😙 thabsk for a great end of the day! ⤷landonorris anytimeeee… what’s you name, sorry? delivered

ynscloset

liked by landonorris, and 92 others

ynscloset been tired lately, but!!!!!!!!! whatever today is a good day

view all 21 comments

19h ago

f1gossip

Liked by f1wags, and 10,173 others

f1gossip Lando Norris just followed a a fan account... and her personal account!

Lando isn’t known for following a lot of fan accounts, but he has recently been replying to more comments. One of those comments made by one popular fan account, norrisupdated. Nothing out of the ordinary until Lando followed her and her main tonight.

New wag?

View all 392 comments

user1 What happened to that model he was allegedly seeing?

⤷ f1gossip Nothing really, it’s been 4 months. loverwags idk bout u guys but i ship😊 might be a lil weird to have a celebrity racer dating a fan but at least it’s yn. she’s been there since 2018 and isn’t even a crazy fan, she just updates😭

user2 he’s stalking her main HELPFME

user3 what do we know abt her

⤷f1gossip Not much aside from the fact she owns a bakery and update page…

user4 why a middle age woman like her running an update page😭

⤷ user2 MIDDLE AGE??? SHE’S 24😭😭😭😭

ynscloset Good Morning? ⤷ user6 😭😭😭

march 21, 2024

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ynscloset just posted a story!

seen by yourbff, and 5 others

yourbff replied! 9:12 AM yourbff WHY DOES LANDONORRIS FOLLOW YOU ⤷ ynscloset because i commented that thing you told me to comment from norupdted and he replied??? and then he commented on my post and then he viewed all my stories and replied apologizing for that time he followed nd unfollowed me ⤷ yourbff BRUHHHHHH HE DMED YOU?? RPELY?? HOW DO YOU SLEEP AFTER THAT ⤷ ynscloset HE TOLD ME TO SLEEP AND WE’D CHAT IN TJE MORNING CUZ I SAID I WONT SLEEP CUZ HE WONT TALK TO ME THE NEXT DAY… YK ONCE IN A LIFETIME MOMENT!!! IM SCARED TO DM BUT THERES A MESSAGE UNREAD ⤷ yourbff must i say what you need to do😓 ⤷ ynscloset latererrr i will reply! gotta open the café!!! duties call ⤷ yourbff why do you even have that update account until now😒 ⤷ ynscloset BECAUSE I HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES AND WE HAVE A 5/6 YEAR BOND. ⤷ yourbff just saying this migjt be your opportunity to be a wag😽 ⤷ ynscloset i cant handle that pressure oh no😭 and its not gonna happen!!!!! bye!

ynscloset

liked by landonorris, and 48,284 others

ynscloset whatta busy busy day! thank youuu for stoping by, new customers 🧡

view all 4,372 comments

user2 loll just cuz lando followed this girl theyre coming to her bakery😭

user3 passed by and many people kept asking her abr lando… let this girl work in peace

user4 why does lando follow her?

⤷ user2 lots of people think she’s his new gf

user5 LANDO IN THE LIKES

user5 ogs know yn from norrisupdated surviving the content drought 😖 ♥︎ author user6 i discovered you through a wag page, but now you’re my favorite baker (and your bakery is my new fave)! thanks for being so kind🥹🤍

⤷ ynscloset thank you for stopping by!!! hope to see ya again 🧡

user7 not this girl acting as if she a wag 😭😭

⤷ user1 she didn’t do anything…

ynscloset has limited the comments…

march 21, 2024

Lando Norris landonorris • instagram 8.5M Followers • 1,801 Posts You both follow each other on instagram

4:01 AM

Lando Norris

anytimeeee… what’s you name, sorry?

9:21 PM

norrisupdated

Yn! Hold up, I’ll message you from my main:)

[Reacted 🧡]

Lando Norris landonorris • instagram 8.5M Followers • 1,801 Posts You both follow each other on instagram

9:22 PM

Yn

Hi!

Sorry I replied so late, I just got home:/

Lando Norris

Hey! Isn’t it like 10 in the states?? Why so late

Yn

Yesss busy day at work:) actually, a lot of them are your fans asking me about you 😙

Lando Norris

I meant to apologize to you about that…

Sorry for all the hate you’ve been getting because I followed you

Yn

no biggie, i don’t mind it

i think i just need to go quiet for a bit and let it die down🙏🏼

Lando Norris

sounding like a professional over there??? done this before?😂

Yn

watched f1 enough to get the gist how it works LMAFFOF

Lando Norris

everrr attended a gp?

Yn

STILL saving up:/ at my bakery, the tip jar is labeled for me to watch a gp😔

Lando Norris

Woulddddd it be cool if I invited you over for the Suzuka GP?

Yn

Are you joking

Lando Norris

yes

seen for 2m

Lando Norris

wait no im not actually joking

wai dont leave me on seen

HELLO?

Yn

NOT cool dude

Lando Norris

is this a no😢

Yn

wait

i would love to

BUT

lowkey in debt rn to afford a flight……………. I WILL FIND A WAY HOLD ON😂

Lando Norris

i could book you a flight

as you say, no biggie

Yn

what

thats too much

what

huh

what

Lando Norris

yn, i’m opening the website rn so tell me if youre available😔

Yn

yes im available 😊

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ynscloset just posted a story!

seen by yourbff, and 7 others

yourbff replied! yourbff Context? ⤷ ynscloset Lando Norris is flying me out to Japan for the Suzuka GP.

21:45

Lando Norris

booked! whats your number for the deets?

Yn

How do I know you’re not hacked and you’re going to hack me next?

Lando Norris

….

i’m confused how you got to this question

Enough proof?

Yn

close enough but that is not 11am in australia and its live on tv youre in practice 😖😖😖😖 #LandoHacked!

Lando Norris

damn youre good

I just looked better in the other pic😒 embarrassing u look better at 9pm than me rn

Yn

why are you LYING

anyways +1 201 xxx xxx

[ Reacted 🧡 ]

Lando Norris

Whats with the seenzoning 😓

delivered 21:54

Yn

HELLO SORRY

I bought food mb IM BACK

Lando Norris

Shit

dont apologize

IM sorry, i forgot to ask if youve eaten

What did u gettttt

Yn

dont worry! have you eaten?

i got mexcian food🤤

[Reacted 😍]

Lando Norris

I ate with the team earlier, just getting ready for FP1

Yn

gooooodluck lando!

gotta work, but ill be watching! p.s u should jpg post 😂

Lando Norris

gotta work, but ill be watching! ⤷goodluck working!!!! gotta visit that bakery soon:) ⤷ also a lot of pressure youre putting there😓 ill try my best

p.s u should jpg post 😂 ⤷lets see 🙈

f1gossip

liked by ynscloset, and others

f1gossip End of FP1 with these top three!

view all 23 comments

user4 YN IN THE LIKES

march 22, 2024

— instagram notification !! [landonorris] ynscloset congrats on fp1!!!!!! hope you get the same results for the race 🤭

𐙚 twitter

lando.jpg

liked by ynscloset, and others

lando.jpg ask and u shall receiveeeeee

view all 2,832 others

user2 we all know who asked

⤷user4 who

⤷user3 yn! “i hope he knows we’re waiting for a lando.jpg comeback” from her last update post

user5 i love the yn lando lore sorry😭

⤷user6 im so rooting for them

march 22, 2024

mclaren

liked by ynscloset, landonorris, and others mclaren HUGE POINTS HAUL! 👊🏻 A great drive from Lando and Oscar to deliver Down Under!🤩

view all 1,247 comments

march 24, 2024

ynscloset 🔒

liked by landonorris, and 73,743 others

ynscloset an amazing week 🧡🧁

view all 3,371 comments

user2 we love youuuuuu

user5 yall made her go private😭😭😭😭😭 NOO

⤷ user1 atleast she’s still posting 🥹

yourbff i love him alr

⤷ ynscloset 😎

comments are limited …

march 25, 2024

f1gossip

liked by 12,383 others

f1gossip Yn seen at the airport in Japan! Will she be attending the GP? view all 1,574 comments

user6 WELCOME BACK QUEEN SERENA

user7 not her being a golddigger alr lol she was photographed leaving from the first class section😭😭

⤷user6 get a job

april 3, 2024

f1gossip

liked by landonorris, and 23,583 others

f1gossip What we’ve all been waiting for! Yn joins the McLaren garage today at the Suzuka Grand Prix where Lando came in 2nd! Lando and Yn weren’t seen together until they left together, but no photos have surfaced yet. Many people have said she was super nice and took pictures with a lot of people and even gave baked goods to the McLaren garage and some fans!! view all 4,284 comments

f1gossip📌 photos in order:

1. yn seen smiling at lando while outside the mclaren garage

2. yn taking pics of lando when he came on the screen

3. yn with a fan during the after party

4. yn on the big screen before the gp started!

5. yn and lando’s front wing while mclaren workers were describing the car and stuff (people say she was asking questions and super excited)

6. yn with a fan again! they said she had to go because lando was waving at her 🥹

user5 idk what yall say, i like her

user7 SHE GAVE ME A CUPCAKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

april 7, 2024

landonorris

liked by ynscloset, and others

landonorris a great week!

view all 43,273 comments

carlossainz55 wonder why

april 8, 2024

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ynscloset just posted a story!

seen by landonorris, and 839k others

[sky-scribbles]

There are a lot of things to love about the SSV Normandy. It’s a symbol of cooperation between two species historically at odds. It’s a miracle of engineering, a technological masterpiece that could alter every pattern of space warfare. Its crew is the highest calibre that the Alliance has to offer, bolstered by multispecies allies: an emblem of flying hope.

It also has far, far too many flashing lights. Everywhere.

One hand pressed to the wall to keep himself steady, the other pressed against his forehead as if that’s going to do any good, Kaidan shuffles down the hall toward the med bay. Every light panel and display interface feels like a laser drill boring directly through his eyes, sounds reverberate against the inside of his skull, and his sense of balance is a distant, pleasant memory. Kaidan sucks in a tight breath between his teeth. It’s going to be okay. He can do this. He’s done it before.

He drags himself the last few feet, and the med bay doors slide open. Kaidan opens up his omni-tool – god, why are those so bright, too? – and does what he’s done a hundred times, scanning the medical interface so that the med system logs him. Doctor Chakwas isn’t here, which means she’s on her rest shift, but that’s fine. The med system will alert her if there’s a problem.  

Kaidan, turns, so ready to collapse into the nearest med bed – except he can’t. Because there’s someone already in it.

‘Oh,’ he says. ‘Hey, Tali.’

‘Hey, Lieutenant.’ She still seems shy about using his first name. Maybe it’s a habit from being raised on board ships, or maybe she’s just not sure if she’s allowed. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I will be once the pain meds kick in.’ Kaidan makes it to the next bed along and finally, finally lies down and shuts his eyes. ‘Doctor Chakwas is just… pretty strict about me coming here whenever a migraine kicks in. Just in case it’s a sign of something going wrong with my implant.’

Through the fog of everything hurts, it finally surfaces in his brain that Tali in the med bay is… that’s bad, right? ‘What about you? Are you, you know –?’

Okay, he’s not sure how to finish that sentence. There’s probably not a polite way to say hey, are you here because you’ve picked up a fatal illness?

He cracks one eye open, just enough to see her looking glumly at him. He’s not sure how he can tell that she’s glum when all he can see is her eyes, but yeah. She’s glum. ‘You know how I took a hit on Feros?’

‘Yeah.’

‘And how I disinfected it, and used my patch kit on the suit breach, and told Shepard I was fine?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I was not fine.’ She slumps down miserably. ‘My throat is full of painful slime, my sinuses are on fire, and my halesh –’ Okay, that’s obviously some piece of quarian anatomy – ‘is more gummed up than I can describe.’

Kaidan shuts his eyes again. ‘Well, my skull feels like it’s slowly contracting and crushing my brain, so… I sort of feel you.’

She laughs weakly. ‘I should have run an extra med scan once I got back to the Normandy. I just – I wanted to help with the engine maintenance today. And there’s this combat drone design I’m working on. And now…’ There’s a sound of movement; Kaidan gets the impression that she’s gesturing at the med bay in angry helplessness.

‘I feel that too.’ And he does. He really does. This isn’t the worst migraine he’s ever had – he can actually hold a conversation, which some days would be beyond him. But it’s… it’s not great. And he had things to do. Ash was running a drill and wanted him to look over her plans. He had a cleaning shift at fourteen hours. Shepard wanted to talk strategy for Noveria.  And yes, he knows he has a right to take time off for a medical issue. He knows he’s no use to Ash or Shepard or anyone when he can’t even walk in a straight line. But knowing that doesn’t quite get rid of the squirm in his belly, the one that feels like letting people down.

Tali’s quiet for a minute, aside from the ever-present, barely-audible hum of her suit systems, and the occasional sniff from behind her helmet. Then she says, unexpectedly, ‘I’m just… I’m so tired. You know what I mean?’

Kaidan’s head throbs. He swallows. ‘Oh, yeah.’

The constant vigilance. Always having to be careful about where he goes – is this room too bright? Is this one too loud? – in case something triggers another bad spell. Taking hits to the head in a fight that anyone else could just shrug off, but that for him mean another trip to the med bay to make sure his implant isn’t damaged. Trying to do his job and suddenly finding, no, he can’t, because his body has decided that today’s the day he just doesn’t get to function.

Tali… she must go through the same awful deal, just in a different flavour. Always being careful, so careful. Someone else’s minor injury being her okay, let’s get a med check to make sure I won’t die. It’s not the same, of course: Kaidan can eat food without filtering it, touch people without protective layers, see people’s faces without a tinted mask. Still… there’s a tone in her voice that he knows from his own.

There’s a heavy silence. Then Tali says, ‘You know what’s really stupid? I left my datapad in my cabin, so I can’t even watch vids.’

Kaidan smiles. He’s seen her down in Engineering, a few times, hands flying around over the machinery, rocking back and forth on her heels. Idleness obviously doesn’t suit her. ‘You can borrow mine, if you like.’

‘Really?’ Her voice is already brighter. ‘I mean – won’t the noise will make you feel worse?’

‘Nah, I’ll be good.’ He’s not just saying it; there’s a blissful numbness creeping through his head which means that his meds are finally getting to work. He fishes the datapad from his pocket, taps in his passcode, and hands it over. ‘What kind of vids do you like?’

Her whole being perks up – tone, body, everything. ‘Oh, all of them.Any genre, any species. I mean… asari vids can be a bit long. I mean, they’re made by people who can spend a decade making a vid and a whole day watching it. Turians… their vids can be a bit depressing. There’s a lot of ‘this war ended with almost everyone dead, but one turian is still standing, so it’s a victory!”

‘What about quarians? What kinds of stories do your people tell?’

A small laugh echoes inside the helmet. ‘Quarian vids are pretty limited by environment. We don’t have a lot of varied sets to work with. So we tell the best long-running dramas. There’s one ship in the Flotilla that’s been hosting the same series for over eighty standard years now. Following the crew as they change over time, that sort of thing.’ She taps the base of her helmet. ‘It’s pretty good, but… I think if you watched it, you’d think there were a lot more explosions, murders and shipwide romantic entanglements in the Flotilla than there actually are.’

‘Human dramas are like that too.’

Tali laughs. ‘Quarian dramas make human dramas look relaxed.’

Kaidan finds he’s actually able to grin. ‘So what do human vids tell you about us?’

Her helmet tilts as she considers. ‘That you’re very individualistic. I mean, not every human culture. But you put a lot of focus onto characters and personal journeys.’ She scrolls down the datapad screen – looking through vid lists, presumably – then stops. It’s hard to tell, but Kaidan thinks she might be frowning. ‘I did notice… in a lot of human media, the biotics are…’

Another insistent pulse of pain through his temples. Kaidan sighs. ‘Crazy extremists?’

‘Yes. Do you… do you mind if I ask why that is?’

‘No, it’s fine.’ Kaidan turns onto his back and stares up at the dim ceiling. ‘A lot of the early generation of biotics, the ones who got the same implants as me… let’s just say I got off lightly. Most ended up with much more serious medical conditions. And when people found out about the side effects of the L2 implants, the media got the bit between its teeth and –’ Yeah, no, that wasn’t going to translate. ‘Sorry. Human saying. They got a certain impression, and they ran with it.’

Tali’s quiet for several seconds. Kaidan twists his head to face her, and sees the pale eyes behind the mask giving him a long, steady look.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says. And then, after a moment, ‘They tell lies about us, too.’

Kaidan holds her gaze, and feels terribly, achingly sad. ‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘I bet they do.’

 The way people look at Tali as she walks through the Presidium… it’s familiar. Not quite the same. There’s a note of scorn in the looks they give to Tali – but there’s suspicion, too, and that’s something he knows. All the times back on Earth, after he got back from Jump Zero, when he shook someone’s hand or opened a door, and their eyes found the implants. They way they stared at him like he was a loaded gun. All the documents he had to fill out to do anything, the knowledge that any government he lived under would always be hovering a few steps away, keeping tabs, making sure.

Remembering Rahna – remembering that obvious, instinctive fear in her eyes – is an old memory now, the kind that’s a faded scar. But he remembers the shock of it, back when he was seventeen. When no one had looked at him like that before, and it was dizzying and new and felt like a hole in his gut.

He bets Tali has that hole in her gut all the time.

Kaidan pushes himself up a little – which makes his brain spin, but he manages it – and gives Tali a smile. ‘Well. Let’s look for something that gets us both right.’

‘Definitely.’ She flicks through the options for a minute more, then pauses. ‘Have you ever seen Fleet and Flotilla?’

‘I think I’ve heard of it.’ There’s a faint memory of seeing an ad for it, maybe, and thinking it was the kind of thing he’d have loved as a kid. Space exploration. Justice. Love. ‘The… war romance, right?’

‘Yes!’ Tali’s legs bounce. ‘It’s – keelah, it’s so good, it’s – it’s about this girl, Shalei, who’s on her pilgrimage. And she’s interested in the geth, because she’s got this dream of finding a way to defeat them and take back the Homeworld, right? And when she finds something, she goes to the Citadel for help, but no one will listen except this one turian called Bellicus –’

‘Hold up. Wasn’t that… exactly what you were doing when we met you? Minus the turian, I mean.’

Tali ducks her head, suddenly shy. ‘I… I really, really like the vid.’

No kidding. Kaidan smiles. ‘So let’s watch it.’

His head still feels like a bombsite, and when he thinks about all the things he wants to be doing for his crew and isn’t, the rest of him hurts too. But maybe he’s still doing something for his crew, sitting in the med bay with his sick squadmate – his sick friend – and sharing her favourite vid with her. Maybe he’s doing something for him, too. He doesn’t do that too often.

Tali props the datapad up on the table between their beds, her whole body one big smile. ‘You’re going to love this,’ she promises, and presses play.

[sillybillytime]

Let’s talk about Armand’s speech.

First of all, he starts it out in third person:

“This is Amadeo, he's 20 years here.”

He purposely distances himself from his past. Honestly, I think that he disassociated for much of his young life, as we see here:

“He was rescued from a brothel when he was 15, named named Arun then, I think. I cannot be sure. The abuse in the brothel was such that he cannot be sure that's what his parents named him. Arun. The parents that sent him to work on a merchant boat in Delhi when in actuality they had sold him into slavery to the ship's captain. All fragments.”

All fragments. A clear indication that Armand was dissociated. And who would blame him? He also refers to his parents as “The parents,” which distances even Arun from his parents.

“Shackled on the boat. The brothel.”

Not even using a personal pronoun, mirroring his own feelings of depersonalization.

“My maker's purchase. His renaming me. His reluctance to share the Dark Gift, knowing what it would do to his beloved Amadeo.”

Adding in first person pronouns as we shift to Amadeo, indicating that he feels more connected to that time in his life.

“I served him with all my heart. Basked in his mercy, his worshipful mercy.”

And we can see why here. Armand felt more human here, with his vampire master than he did with human beings. The monstrousness of the vampires is often mirrored in their humanity.

“Still... Amadeo had a skill. And if a friend wandered into town, I was occasionally... donated.”

We can see kinder words being used for what Marius did to Armand. After all, Amadeo had a skill, it would be a shame to waste it.

“Meatier in the forearms, but then this was... seven years before I was stricken with illness, before I was turned, and imbued with my powers.”

He was turned when he was less useful, presumably less attractive to Marius.

“And Armand? The name the coven in Rome gave me. After they set fire to the studio. Set fire to my maker.”

Based on how Armand uses language in this speech, he would prefer to be called Armand. He is no longer Arun or Amadeo, as those parts of his life are over.

“And sent me to Paris, to reign over the coven abandoned by Magnus. Magnus who begat Lestat. Lestat who begat Louis. On and on. And on and on and on.”

Armand doesn’t know who he is outside of an abusive relationship. This is extremely common in people, especially those that have been abused young. Armand doesn’t know what love feels like.

“Who am I, Louis? I am my history I have endured? I am the job I do not want? I do not know anymore. No one has painted me in over 400 years.”

Who is Armand? In the end, I don’t think even he knows. He wants someone else to tell him.

[turcott3]

homesick

trevor zegras and platonic jamie drysdale x fem! reader

warnings?: sad af tbh!, angst, cursing but ofc fluff

masterlist

-

“what?” you spoke into the phone.

“he picked up the phone and they told him he was going to philly in the morning. no warning or anything. completely blindsided.” trevor explains to you.

“i cannot believe that, is he okay?” you ask.

“he’s shocked, we all are.”

“i bet. i’m so sorry trevor.” you say trying to comfort your boyfriend.

“it’s okay, i just wish it wasn’t so sudden.”

“well, tell jamie i wish him the best and that ill miss making breakfast with him every morning.”

“you can call him, that feels too personal don’t wanna invade.” he forces a laugh.

“okay ill call him tomorrow. get back to your friends babe, try to have a good night okay?”

“okay i will, love you y/n.”

“love you trev, bye.”

“bye.” he hangs up. you sat staring off into space. your mind spinning uncontrollably. they just shipped off your boyfriends best friend. scratch that, your best friend, besides trevor of course. you turn on the tv to whatever was on distracting yourself from the thoughts invading your mind, clouding the good day you had. finally, you allow yourself to cry, knowing your last goodbye to jamie was truly your last and that he wouldn’t be returning.

“what the fuck.” you say crying more, wishing someone was around you could talk to. you say for hours lost in your thoughts, watching tv without paying any attention. at this point it was late enough so you took yourself to bed, heart heavy at the thought of having to call jamie in the morning. though falling asleep was easy, waking up was the worst feeling in the world. you picked up your phone quickly, scrolling through your contacts to find jamie’s name, hitting call. the phone only rang twice before he picked up.

“hello?” he says, voice sounding weak.

“hey jimmy, how are you feeling?”

“i’m okay, i’m in philly now. i’m getting ready to head to the rink. i’m a little nervous but i talked to cam and he reassured me.”

“good i’m glad, im gonna miss you so much jamie.”

“i miss you too y/n, gonna miss our early morning breakfast making.” he laughs softly, a bittersweet smile spreading on my face.

“yeah, yeah ill really miss that too. singing ‘unwritten’ will never be the same without you.”

“damn you’re right, listening to that song will never hit like it did when we were making pancakes every morning.”

“i’m gonna miss that so much, well i don’t wanna keep you for too long. call me if you need anything okay? i know this is gonna be tough.”

“i will, thank you y/n.”

“of course, bye jamie.”

“bye.” he says before hanging up. your heart sank at his tone but could sense his hopefullness that they wouldn’t give up on him like anaheim had.

-

you say on the couch, watching trevor play with a heavy heart. you could practically smell it through the tv. you’d spoken to him briefly but he avoided the topic of jamie, it was still a touchy subject for him. next thing you know, trevor falls, hitting the boards awkwardly.

“fuck.” you say, watching him unable to get up without assistance, your heart breaking all over again. the trainer escorted him to the locker room, the pit in your stomach growing larger.

“please be okay, please be okay.” you say sighing.

“trevor zegras will not return to tonight’s game.” you hear the commentators say, you sigh shutting your eyes, waiting for the phone to ring and almost on queue it begins.

“y/n?”

“trevor are you okay? what’s going on?”

“i don’t know i just fell and i did something and then i couldn’t skate off the ice and i-“

“trevor stop, slow down. take a breath honey. you’re gonna make yourself sick.” you say stopping him.

“i don’t know what to do y/n.”

“do you want me to come to nashville?”

“no no you don’t need to, i think i may just come back to anaheim if i can’t play next game.”

“call me as soon as you know.” you say biting your nails.

“i promise i will, ill call you once they evaluate me.”

“okay, love you trevor.”

“love you too, bye.” he says and you hang up, slamming your phone down on the couch tears instantly spilling from your eyes, your hands instantly covering your face.

“i can’t fucking do this.” you cry, trying to catch your breath as your phone begins to ring, jamie’s name coming into the screen.

“hello?” you say weakly.

“i saw what happened and i wanted to check up on you. how you holding up?”

“i’m a fucking mess jamie.” you say sobbing.

“oh y/n, i’m so sorry. i wish i could be there with you.” he says apologetically.

“it’s okay, everything’s gonna be okay.” you say out loud to yourself.

“do you have any updates?” he asks.

“no he said he would call me after he gets evaluated.” you say sniffling.

“okay, do you want me to stay on the phone until then? i can facetime you, that’s better than nothing.”

“yes, please do.” you say and he presses the facetime button, you picking up immediately.

“sorry i look awful right now,” you say wiping your nose.

“hey no, don’t worry. you’re going through a lot right now.”

you stayed on the phone with jamie for the next two hours, appreciating him spending time on the phone with you instead of getting to know his new city.

“jamie i gotta go. z is calling, i’ll text you with updates.”

“okay, goodnight y/n.”

“goodnight jamie.” you say hanging up and picking up trevor’s call.

“so?” you ask.

“can you pick me up from the airport in the morning?” he asks, your heart sinking into your stomach.

“yes i can.”

“thank you baby, i’m so sorry about all of this.”

“it’s okay. are you okay?”

“i’m not playing, won’t know what’s wrong until i come home and go see team doc.”

“okay okay, what time?” you ask.

“7 am, cali time.”

“jesus thats in,” you look at the time, “11 hours.”

“i’m sorry for the short notice, i didn’t think this would happen.”

“it’s okay no worries at all okay? i’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“okay, i love you.” he says

“i love you too, bye trevor.” you say hanging up. texting jamie about picking him up in the morning. with the early wake up time, you take yourself to bed and crash instantly. the sadness had exhausted you. it seems like just as you went to sleep your alarm was already going off. you groaned at the sound, sliding your shoes on and heading out the door without caring for your appearance. feeling selfish for being this down when it’s not even happening to you. your drive to the airport was smooth, trevor texting you that he’d landed a few minutes ago as you pull into the airport arrival lane, him waiting patiently with his foot in a boot. you stop and get out of the car to hug him, crying instantly.

“hey hey i’m here now, let’s go home okay?” he says holding you tightly. you put his things in the car and drive off, back to your apartment. the car ride was completely silent as you gathered your composure. once you arrive you help him bring his stuff in and help him into bed.

“did you sleep?” you ask laying down next to him.

“no.” he says looking over at you, looking beat down.

“get some sleep baby.” you say pulling yourself to his side, combing your fingers through his hair.

“i can’t sleep y/n,” he said, his voice breaking, “god damnit.” he says breaking down in tears, your hands catching his face as he looked down.

“talk to me trevor, get it out.”

“well for starters, it was my 200th game and i didn’t even make it through the first period and my best friend got traded across the country all within 24 hours. life couldn’t possibly get any worse. this is the lowest i have ever felt.” he explained, getting everything off his chest.

“i know it’s hard honey, i’ve cried about 50 times in the last 24 hours. my heart is broken for you. all i can do is be here for you and listen and i feel like that’s still not even enough.”

“it is enough, it’s just a tough time right now. for both of us it seems.” he giggles, placing a hand around my waist.

“well i love you, i’m here for you baby. don’t hold back anything you’re feeling, not until you’re better. it sucks that jamie is gone but we still have each other! i know that’s not like the greatest but it’s something.”

“you know, you are the best girlfriend ever.” he smiles weakly, pulling you onto his lap and wiping the few tears that left your eyes.

“i just feel terrible about all of this.” you say to him.

“there’s nothing you could’ve done, it’s okay.” he says hugging you to his chest.

“this was not on my 2024 bingo card.” you sniffled, laughing lightly.

“it wasn’t on mine either but here we are.” he says hugging onto me tightly. you stayed on his chest until you felt yourself grow tired, eyes getting heavier by the second. not a word was said as you drifted off to sleep. trevor stayed awake, holding onto you as it was the only thing keeping him from falling apart.

“i love you more than you’ll ever know.” he whispers into your hair, kissing your head sweetly as his hands rubbed your back gently.

-

when you woke up and rolled off of the boy who was fast asleep, trying not to wake him up. you grabbed your phone off the charger and walked into the kitchen, opening your phone to a missed call from jamie about 20 minutes ago. you click on the notification to call him back and he picks up instantly.

“hello?” he says.

“yes jamie hi, what’s up?”

“do you have a minute?”

“yeah i just got up, are you okay?”

“yeah i think it’s all starting to process now and i’m so emotional. like i just up and left my home with my two best friends. how can i just live like this so suddenly? i made breakfast and it wasn’t even good.” he explains, his voice wavering.

“oh jamie,” you say, “it’s gonna be okay. i promise it will be. they love you.”

“i’m sure ill get used to it soon it’s just such an unexpected change, i don’t know what i’m doing.” he says sending you through all of your emotions at once.

“i understand, even though we aren’t physically there we are always here for you jam. we love you so so much.”

“i love you guys too.”

“i’m also about to make breakfast for the first time without you, i don’t really know how to feel.” you laugh realizing what you had walked into the kitchen to do.

“well i’ll let you go so you can perfect your pancakes as always. bye y/n.”

“bye jam.” you say hanging up the phone and bringing out all the ingredients. you do your typical routine, humming ‘unwritten’, your favorite song. suddenly a wall of emotions hit you and tears begin to fall without warning.

“our breakfast song.” you say to yourself, recalling that you and jamie had sang this together every morning.

“smells good.” trevor says walking out of the room, your back fortunately facing away from him.

“thank you.” you force out, sounding mostly normal.

“pancakes?” he asks.

“yep.” you reply flipping the last one. you plate it and turn around, revealing your red and puffy face to your boyfriend.

“woah,” he says getting up off the bar stool and rounding the counter, “what’s going on?”

“trevor im so tired.” you cry and he wraps you in his arms.

“i know i know.” he says holding you tightly.

“i feel so empty, ive been here for you, for jamie, for everyone and no one has sat and listened to me. im so tired.” you cry even more into his chest.

“i didn’t know you felt that way, im so sorry if you felt like you couldn’t talk to me baby.”

“it’s okay, it’s a rough time for you i didn’t wanna push too hard but i can’t say i wasn’t upset.”

“don’t dismiss your own feelings just because i’m going through something. we’re in this together.” he says pulling away slightly, brushing strands of hair from your face.

“okay.” you say, your sobs finally subsiding.

“i love you.” he says kissing your gently on the forehead.

“i love you too trev.” you say smiling at the gesture, wrapping yourself back in his embrace.

-

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

How to Build a Team, Fixing the Recruitment of the Temp Heroes

I've had a few people ask me questions about Miraculous rewrites, so I wanted to quickly touch on something that doesn't get discussed much. Namely that the recruitment of the temp heroes failed at a fundamental level IF the end goal was to make a team. If the end goal was to have one-off episodes where the temp hero of the day shows up and is then forgotten, then the way canon did it is fine. But I think most rewrites that include the temp heroes want to actual give Marinette a larger team, so let's talk about how you do that.

The issue with the temp heroes lies in WHY they're recruited. To demonstrate what I mean, let's quickly talk about Rose's recruitment in Guiltrip.

In Guiltrip, Juleka tells the class that Rose suffers from a random, unnamed chronic illness. This leads to Juleka getting akumatized because she feels so guilty about outing Rose's secret. In order to save Juleka, Rose gets the pig miraculous, becomes Pigella, and gives her girlfriend a look into a fake world where everything is happy and perfect! (The pig is weird.)

The problem with this setup is that Rose is functionally nothing more than a random power up that Ladybug needed to help fight the akuma of the day. The episode would have worked just as well if Ladybug dual wielded and, after the episode is done, there's no need for Rose to stick around because Juleka has been helped and Juleka is an outsider to the team. Let's look at how you rewrite this setup to make it feel like Rose is being recruited for the good of Ladybug's team.

Instead of the episode being about Juleka exposing Rose's illness, we're going to have the episode start with Marinette getting upset about something. What that thing is really doesn't matter, but for ease, let's say that she gets a bad grade and is feeling down. Alya tries to cheer Marinette up, but it doesn't work because Alya's not good at that kind of pep talk. Marinette asks to be alone and wanders off, going to sit alone in the courtyard or something. Enter Rose, who overheard Marinette and Alya talking. Rose will manage to do what Alya can't and cheer Marinette up. Once the pep talk is over and Rose is long gone, Tikki will comment on Rose's ability and Marinette will say something about how Rose is good at knowing what to say/keeping a positive attitude in the darkest times.

Cue the akuma of the day coming in. For the sake of this hypothetical, let's say that Ladybug has built up her team already, so Alya and Nino are both full time heroes. This means that we have Ladybug, Chat Noir, Rena Rouge, and Carapace charging into battle, but it's a tough one. The akuma is crazy strong and, the longer the fight goes, the more they all lose hope. They try to encourage each other, but it's not working. The words feel empty.

Then Ladybug remembers Rose.

Ladybug rushes from the battlefield and recruits Rose, who joins the team and changes the tide by restoring the team's hope with her encouraging words and dauntless spirit. The episode ends with Rose joining the team because they clearly need someone there to keep their spirits up when it feels like hope is lost.

Do you see how that simple shift changes everything? How Rose is no longer a one-off, easily-forgotten power-up?

Now, as much as I love Rose, I personally wouldn't recruit her to any team I make because the role she's most suited to feels too close to the role I think Adrien should have, but this was just an example so that doesn't matter. What matters is that this is how you should approach the temp heroes IF you want to create a strong team dynamic. They shouldn't be recruited just because a random loved one is in need. They should be recruited because team miraculous is missing something it needs and that person fills the gap.

This is what I mean when I say that a small team works because you can center them around Marinette and Adrien. I don't mean canon's creepy shipping thing, I mean that you can focus on what abilities Ladybug and Chat Noir lack and build a team around filling in those gaps. For example, Marinette is really good at thinking up creative physical solutions, but her creativity doesn't extend to thinking up stories. And Adrien may be an actor, but his improv skills are focused on word play and romance, not crafting stories via pure imagination or a mix of imagination and putting together subtle verbal clues. Meanwhile, Alya comes up with stories all the time, so it makes sense that they'd recruit her to be the person who wields illusions, which is all about storytelling.

[jazzyblusnowflake]

OMG hi…I really like your art and was wondering if you wanna be mutuals??????????? Also tell me about your MD ships :3c

honey we are dating- .....okay yknow what- HI PRETTY & TALENTED LADY- yess i will absolutely love toooo 🙈💕💕💕💕💕

also lets see uhhh okay this is an excuse for me to just... expload-

keep in mind not every ship is meant for all of you so dont badger me about stuff that ISNT CANON or YOU DONT SHIP. contrary to whatever you believe, when somone posts about THEIR ships, nobody wants to hear about you NOT shipping it on THAT EXACT post.

hang in there, this gon be a long one >:p

First off we are starting strong with Nuzi- Biscuitbites obviously thats a given- these two just have too much to be said about why and how they make eachother the best version of eachother, whether they ever became canon or not- they fit like puzzle pieces- they lessen eachothers negative traits by being their for eachother.

next is Vuzi- Violentviolet, they are my favorite kind of enemies to lovers 😔 but its also tragic smh. kinda pissed off at how V always does something good in Uzis favor only when she is LITERALLY PASSED OUT- either in the camp ep on the bus or in Alices lab. like damn ofFUCKINGcourse Uzi wouldnt know she cares about her 😭😭😭

envuzi- Violentbitingbiscuits, i love these goobers with all my heart- they deserve the best 😔💕💕💕💕

envy - [does this poor ship just NOT have an exclusive FINDABLE tag name??? im calling them GoldenMemories...], i like to think that if they were in the manor still, and nothing bad had ever happened, these two would be comforting eachother in the healthiest way possible. V needs someone like N and N is just adorable like that uwu

Next we have JxTessa/Jessa- [calling them Fancyblades cuz why not-] J deserves some closure for the shit shes gone through smhhh 😔, its a tragic yuri of J loving and wanting something she probably already accepted she couldnt have, and even then she gotta deal with Ns ass being the favorite one regardless of how hard she tries to be perfect... sighhh i wanna imagine them in a future where Tessa was spared as the only human and J could save her 😭😭😭😭 Tessa might have loved doing mechanical stuff or wore black to hide grease/oil stains on her clothes from her parents and wore gloves to hide her oily stained hands- i want her to have a scene of wiring drones back to life and saving them and saying something like "hey there, you made it! dont worry, ill take care of you, youre my friend now :3" or something //dies//, also before anyone says it- even if Tessa was a teen in the flashbacks- romance is not exclusive to ADULTS, teens can love eachother without having sexual stuff involved. no she was not their MOTHER figure, she was their FRIEND who liked to fix robots for herself to not be alone in a house where her own parents literally chain her up as punishment. i dont even know why im arguing about this, people headcanon or make aus about characters NOT being dead all the time and if Tessa was alive for as long as J thought she was, Tessa would have been a perfectly fine adult either way. so counting this, yes shes canonically considered an adult when Cyn tries to imitate an adult humans body 🙄 makes as much sense as everything else i guess-

next ones i got is NorixYeva/Neva- Solverlilies- i just think theyre neat 😭😭😭 and once again, like everything else in this franchise- they are tragic yuris 😔 damn liam im finding a pattern over here 🤨 anyway, i like to think they either got closer in the lab experimentations or were already close when they were working as WDs in the campsite area for the humans. obviously canonically they were probably straight or just not into eachother romantically- [Nori either u have the worst taste men or Khan just fucking lost it after you died-] but also on the other handddd.... they have 2 hands and they are robots, i want them to kiss like two barbie dolls and im gonna make them do just that-

DollxLizzy/Dizzy- Bloodypink, wost fucking ship names ever, i cant find shit on them with these tags and it makes me angry >:/ at this point 2/3s of my ships are just tragic yuris smh, Doll did not deserve any of the things handed to her, even if she went about doing some things the wrong way i wish Lizzy didnt just abandon her- but then again, Doll did kinda abuse Lizzys trust and Lizzy got scared of being close to a serial murderer so.... morality calls this a draw? 😭 im crying... i wish someone was there to help Doll... sigh... i like to think Lizzy would have waited for Doll to just come back at some point... oh well, thats why AUs exist :"3 //sobs in the corner//

DollxUzi/Dollzi- Bloodybats, this ship is so underrated to me... they could have been... so much more. but why weren't they? did Yeva abandon ever getting close to Uzi when she was a kid after Nori died? did Uzi and Doll just never play around together as kids when their mothers were so close? were they ever close and something went wrong as they grew older? at worst they could have been like sisters together, and at best maybe more than friends. i just dont know what happened here, like Yeva could have tried to keep an eye on Uzi, maybe Uzi could have found Dolls powers so cool before having them too- i dont know theres literally tons of possibilities- but if Doll deserved to be saved or cared for by anyone, at least one of them should have been Uzi... sigh.

ThadxV- Killingblonde, yall this is... the cutest shit... ever???? like from here on out we kinda go into the more or less crackship territory but these two are adorable- Dumbass yet wholesome jock boy that just wants to keep his queen happy 😔👌👌👌 He and Uzi would have so much to talk about on "crushing on literal murder bots that stabbed and almost ate us" its literally love at first stab smhhh 😫💕

ThadxSam- Smokyjock ???? for some fucking reason??? i dont know what my brain did here man- i just like the trope of someone getting under Thads skin- like pair up the healthy sports loving gym boy with the lazy but wholesome dumbass that does drugs or is always just sleep deprived and Thad is always trying to just... take care of his ass and make him take care of himself but he just WONT SMHHH-

okay some more or less crack ships down here:

ThadxN: it speaks for itself. its too adorable and youll go blind from the light of wholesomeness-

ThadxNxUzi: Uzi will die here from the overwhelming wholesomeness... oh bonus if its just a 4s polycule of ThadxNxUzixV i mean i know im pushing my luck but.... random crackships go brr- V and Uzi will complain but love their dumbass golden puppy partners-

ThadxUzi: i think they could have been close and Thad caring about her as a childhood friend turned crush sounds just too cute for me 😔

LizzyxUzi: another random ass rivals to lovers or some shit idk what this is, Lizzy would pay Uzi to kiss the fuck out of her i dont make the rules-

ThadxLizzy: in some cases where they are NOT headcanoned as siblings or cousins, i think they have a good energy of wholesome jock bf and girly queen cheerleader lol, Thad is just a good bf eitherway-

DollxUzixLizzy: the gals would not leave a single second of silence for the small gremlin i swear to God- [Uzi is gay as FUCK for her gfs, absolute girloser unit with her gorgeous but crazy gfs]

okay for the end i have some characters that arent ships but i wish they could have become closer as friends or work out their issues...

J and N- too much abuse and toxicity here, i wish they could talk together more and see they have a lot of things in common- maybe a full line of dialogue from J without threatning N in every sense of the manner would be nice for a change =_=

Doll and V- again, a bit morally ambiguous to ship a character with the murderer of your family, esp when said murderer hasnt expressed regret lmao, but i wish they could at least be friends... Dolls disdain for the murder drones pushed her to end up the way she did. maybe if she didnt do it alone she would have been alive by now. so i like to think what would have happened if she and V could have made up- not necessarily Doll forgiving her- but at least having the space to grow and understand why they did they things that happened.

Cyn and literally ANYONE- i want the solver to be SEPARATE from Cyn- i wish Cyn would have still existed somewhere down there and was savable- i wish this poor child AI had a happy ending to her by connecting with the others as ACTUAL siblings... goddamnit 😔

aaaand thats it for this fine ass day 🫡 yall are welcome to ask about any of these- boy the tags are gonna be.... a lot.

[sixosix]

BUT THEY ALL LEAD BACK TO YOU | S. HEIZOU

he said, “it’s a shame, then, that it’s against my ideals to commit a crime.” you couldn’t think too hard about what he said because he distracted you quickly with a kiss, even forgetting your name for a moment.

tags implied…Ahem yk, getting together, heizou is pining BAD but so are u (carnally now too ig), sweet sweet fluff

a/n 2700 words, holy shit this was longer than i planned T__T

previous part

"why does this shikanoin heizou want to meet me that badly? how does he even know me?"

kazuha smiles lightly, content with watching you make a mess of your temporary room like a cyclone. “i’m not so certain. heizou has a habit of prying into the lives of people he hears mentioned. i was reminiscing about the day i met you while catching up with him, and he insisted i introduce him before i could talk about anyone else.”

seriously, who does that?

kazuha had mentioned shikanoin heizou before, as with his other close friends. you were listening but not paying attention enough to have him as your surprise not-in-a-romantic-way-date like a pop quiz. it was as though you didn’t have enough time to prepare for heizou’s inevitable “what time and date did i meet kaedehara kazuha and what’s the name of my distant cousin?” but that’s not the case right now, which means what else could doushin shikanoin want from you? a good first impression and a far-from-suspicious job, obviously.

“there’s nothing about me—my hair’s a mess, why didn’t you tell me?— that could possibly warrant a tenryou commission detective’s interest in that way.”

you pick an unruly strand of hair off, then belatedly realize that walking outside would lead to more of them, and there is no point in doing so. you’re deeply stressed.

“clearly he disagrees,” your friend says in return, amused. you do not share his delight, back to pacing across and around your room.

“kazuha,” you groan, “he’s your friend, isn’t he? can’t you just ask what he wants from me? get this over with.” you abhor first introductions. can’t kazuha just tell you if you should ship your ass back to liyue right this instant?

“are you truly this nervous?”

“he’s a detective, kazuha. and no one can know what i do for a living—yelan will kick me out!”

“you don’t have to worry too much. he bears no ill intentions towards you. if he did,” kazuha pauses to meet your eyes intently, turning serious, “i wouldn’t have offered to introduce you to him in the first place.”

you throw your hands in the air, exasperated.

that answers absolutely nothing and only brings more questions. what does he want from you if not your occupation? surely a detective with a renowned reputation such as himself taking an interest in you means that he wants you to spill truths you’ve sworn to lie about.

maybe it’s not too late to ask if beidou wants a trip back home at this very moment.

“y/n,” kazuha says, with a hint of a fond smile, “let fate take the lead for today. you’ll find that it’s nothing like you’re agonizing over.”

your first memory of inazuma city is when kazuha was hauled away by a few people and left you stranded in the crowd, the same one who had seen you tailing kazuha like a lost puppy—the same one who treated your friend as something sort of a celebrity because of his famous block.

in the few days you’ve been wandering around here, you’ve learned that people everywhere, no matter the region, are always too curious. and somehow prepared to bargain for information.

you’re breezing through everyone in hopes they can sense you don’t want to talk with any of them at the moment. the last time you were lenient, new rumors sprung in the air the first few hours you arrived at inazuma, saying that you’re their ticket to meeting kaedahara kazuha himself.

you’d been deeply affronted. you’re not a scammer; even you’re incapable of tying kazuha to one place, much less holding a meet-and-greet for his fans.

“sorry, sorry, hey—wait up! you!” someone calls out from behind, sounding oddly familiar.

irritation spikes.

“i don’t know who kaedehara kazuha is, sorry,” you say, speeding past stalls and apologizing in advance for people who swerve out of your way.

but this person is determined, somehow swift enough to seize your wrist. there was a second where you forgot where you were for a moment and jerked your arm back in favor of a very, very violent self-defense— even so, this person’s grip was surprisingly strong.

he smiles when you meet his eyes. “i was looking for you, actually.”

there is no mistaking it. his face had been hard to tell in dim lighting, but even then, you could make out the soft features and the distinct twin moles illuminated by blue.

you couldn’t confuse him for someone else even if you tried. the moment you stared a little too long when he was being dragged away, you set it upon yourself for today—as if he was never unfamiliar.

“i know you,” you say, “you’re the drunk guy.”

and then it hits you harder than yelan’s kick on a good day.

this is the same guy kazuha said is a tenryou commission detective—their best one, people say, renowned for his commendable skills and intuition. you were expecting someone older, taller, who fit that description, and definitely, someone who didn’t look like…this.

“yes, that’s me,” he grins brightly. “hi.”

seeing him up close on a bright, sunny day was not the best idea. only here can you see the startlingly compelling shade of green on his eyes and the softness of his burgundy hair. only here can you realize that this man is exactly your type.

“hello,” you say pleasantly and hope you aren’t gaping.

shikanoin heizou looks around, taking in the number of people passing by. he looks back at you, and leans in close to whisper, “let’s go somewhere else.”

you follow him into a food stall, with only one person on the far edge eating. you take a seat on the two chairs laid out on the far right with him. this is starting to feel less like an interrogation and more like something you’re not willing to get into at the moment.

heizou leans against the wooden counter, announcing his order. he suggests food for you upon seeing the conflict on your face.

“you’re from liyue, right? you live in liyue?” is the first thing heizou asks, his arm still resting on the counter with his chin on his palm.

he looks enticing in the gold glow of the lanterns on both sides of the stall. you let your eyes stray, pretending you’re entranced by the ramen and not his arms. “i’m not here on any official business. i’m just here because kazuha begged me to accompany him to inazuma.”

“from what i heard, you jumped at the boat the moment kazuha offered inazuma for you.”

your brow twitches, caught. “details, details.”

the distinct scents of different foods sold in other stalls along with this fills your senses. your stomach rumbles, a gentle reminder. an embarrassing one, at that.

heizou smiles, and it’s almost sweet if you weren’t so suspicious. “my treat.”

“...shikanoin-san,” you begin, “is there a reason why you were so adamant about meeting me?”

his gaze drifts then, ears darkening. “do you remember that night we met? i dragged myself to work the next day, head pounding, my desk a mess from stumbling around it the night before. my mind was elsewhere. my peers ushered me when they caught me snea—ahem, doing patrols.”

“did they belittle you once again or something?”

“i’m pleased you still remember that.” your face burns, intently staring at the ramen the stall owner is preparing. “they told me all about how i was blabbing their ears off about someone. someone i insisted must be a youkai with how uncharacteristically enamored i was. they told me i kept asking to get myself drunk again to trace myself back to you—and i almost considered it sober.”

“that’s stupid,” you say, pretending you aren’t flustered by this.

“isn’t it?” he doesn’t look embarrassed at all. “but then i saw kazuha. we caught up, and he told me about this friend who is a stranger in inazuma; my intuition honed in on your name the moment he mentioned it.”

“and what do you know—” heizou glances at you, “—my intuition still hasn’t failed me.”

this could’ve been the moment you realized that shikanoin heizou is a dangerous, dangerous man, but really, it was on that night when he had been an ungraceful mess, letting you pin him against the tree with a gleam in his eye.

finally, food is served, and you don’t have to answer that. you can only hope that heizou won’t hone in your face the same way, and you can excuse the steam of the ramen as the culprit of its heat.

“so,” heizou begins, and you dread how it’s going, “you come here often?”

you hide a laugh. “you shouldn’t be so curious about me, for your own sake.”

“why? are you hiding something?”

he is no threat at all, you realize. you’re almost desperate, because whatever is happening right now is far from your expertise. with a glimpse of honesty: “i have no obligation to give you information about myself or my field of work. if i spill anything, the commission will never hear from you again.”

“is that so?” he looks excited.

shikanoin heizou is strange. so why are you fighting off a smile?

is it also so strange you realize his body is completely facing you? he speaks again, “well, i heard from kaedehara about a case here in inazuma that i would’ve been thrilled solving, and you were the one to bring it to a close before anyone else caught wind of it. before i caught wind of it.”

you remember that. it was practically nothing. the bandits were just unfortunate enough to do their crimes in front of your face, trained and armed for these very moments.

but where is he going with this? “i have committed no crimes myself, detective.”

“that’s not what i said,” heizou grins, resting his chin on the center of his palm. “i just want to say i appreciate you for helping in your own way. even if that meant we had to deal with interrogating dazed, thoroughly beaten-up nobushi. i want you to tell me about what went down in excruciating detail some other time.”

“you’re welcome. are you going to arrest me for interfering?”

he hums. “why do you want me to arrest you so much? want my handcuffs on you that badly?”

you’re glad you’ve already swallowed the noodles before he opened his mouth. “that’s not what i mean and you know it.”

heizou giggles, the bastard. “cute,” he murmurs as he sips on his drink, smiling to himself.

are you the one with alcohol in your system this time? because the tension is suffocating and you want him bad. “you’re too forward, shikanoin-san.”

“heizou,” he corrects. “and what’s the point in beating around the bush? we both know what i want at the end of the day. you think i meet you again and i’ll let you slip from my fingers again?”

it’s hard not to want the same. it’s itching under your fingertips, begging to be closer, to feel his laugh against your skin. “let’s pray kazuha doesn’t find out.”

“what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” or makes things extremely awkward for him.

that night is also the same night you last see shikanoin heizou for a while. you told him about how you were leaving the next day, and getting attached would be a bad idea.

he had been hovering over you when he said, “it’s a shame, then, that it’s against my ideals to commit a crime.” you couldn’t think too hard about what he said because he distracted you quickly with a kiss, even forgetting your name for a moment.

with inazuma added to your to-do list for next year (ASAP!!! written beside it), you and the crux sail back to liyue. you were already starting to miss it, but homesickness washed over soon enough at the sight of the familiar wharf. people wave at you, saying they missed you, asking if you enjoyed your vacation.

“hey, you.”

you don’t have to look to know who it is. “yelan.” you crane your neck. “i haven’t seen you since i got back.”

“there wasn’t much you missed out on; i was dead to the world,” yelan says with a cunning smile, slinging an arm over your shoulder. “how was your trip? had fun? bring home anything good?”

you smile to yourself, “i had fun.”

“oh,” yelan smirks. “i see. what did they call it? summer fling.”

“no, nothing like that.”

she flicks your forehead. “you’re still a lousy liar as ever.”

the days pass, and it’s almost easy to forget you even went to inazuma. everything falls back into place, as routine dictated—if it weren’t for the way you keep thinking about bare sides, olive eyes, and unending playful banter.

although you weren’t slacking off, it was easy to tell that your mind was far away when you walked past couples whispering to themselves, tucked into some dark corner.

“hey, y/n! kazuha is calling for you in the wharf.”

“coming! hold on!”

the crux fleet’s grand ship looms over other boats. curiously, you note that the crew has only begun to disembark. beidou waves at you when she spots you, and you wave back with a wide smile.

she gestures at the side. you follow her gaze.

if you didn’t know who he was, you’d think—with the way he walks around and smiles at curious onlookers as if he knows them personally—that he belongs here. but you do, you do know him, madly so. he’s been in your mind for far too much that you convinced yourself he’s just a fragment of your imagination until he catches sight of you and brightens.

“y/n!” he says, enthusiastically making his way towards you.

“heizou…?” you let him tackle you into a hug, too stunned to do anything else. “wait, heizou!?” you pull away, cupping his cheeks in your palms. “what are you doing here… in—in liyue? who…”

heizou sighs, looking away despite all the confidence he’s bragged about. his face is very, very red. “it’s a long story.”

kazuha appears behind him, startling the both of you bad enough to have you freezing in sync. “he jumped at the boat the moment i offered. it was starting to get disheartening seeing the longing looks.”

he definitely knows something between you two went down.

“thanks again, kazuha, i owe you one!”

“two, heizou.”

“two,” heizou amends. “you’re the best.”

kazuha quirks a brow, amused. “flattery won’t make me lessen it, doushin shikanoin.”

“dammit,” heizou curses, smiling when you laugh.

“i’ll leave you two to it,” kazuha says, and despite all this, he looks genuinely happy. maybe because he’s rubbing on your face that he’s right—this was far from what you were agonizing over.

“ah, so you work for…the ministry of civil affairs.” heizou definitely doesn’t believe this, and he doesn’t even bother trying to hide it on his face. “the youngest, too, i heard on the way here. very good with a sword.”

“don’t underestimate me,” you instinctively say. deep inside, you’re pleased with the way your friends are giving him a good impression of you. “i do more than issue bounties on wanted criminals.”

“i knew that. though most of them don’t need to carry around a weapon as sharp as that.” you try not to react too strongly, but based on the way heizou smiles, you know that he can see straight through you. damn intuition or whatever. “and you don’t have to explain to me, i’m not underestimating you. i’m the youngest in the commission, too, you see?”

“oh…” you do remember him repeatedly mentioning how extraordinary and young he is.

“look at that,” he coos, his arms snaking around your waist, “we have so much in common already. what are you gonna do about it? shikanoin heizou, in the flesh, all for you.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. “is that all you think about?”

“you’re all i think about.”

you learn that it’s difficult to keep heizou’s hands away from you.

( “do you like him?”

“huh? who? shikanoin heizou? he’s annoying. the flowers in chinju forest are taller than him.”

kazuha looks thoughtful. “are they?”

“yes. they were taller than me, too, but that’s not the point.”

“and so was the answer to my question,” kazuha says, “you didn’t outright say no.”

your face burns, caught.

kazuha grins. “i’m glad to have someone accompany my every visit to inazuma from now on.” )

a/n thank u for reading!!!!! i feel like i didn't do heizou enough justice </3 but i wasn't expecting the first part to get attention at all so thank u to the people who commented and reblogged <333

[aziraphales-library]

Ello Ello Ello :D

Would you happen to have a Human AU fic where Aziraphale has an toxic relationship with his family and it is well explored? Bonus points if Crowley and Aziraphale are long date friends.

Thank you so much for your work <3333

Hi. We have some fics where Aziraphale's family aren't great here. Here are more to add...

Against All Odds by GroovyNightStrawberry (E)

How can you just walk away from me? When all I can do is watch you leave 'Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears You're the only one who really knew me at all Az is eleven, and his world is falling apart. His best friend is walking away from him, and Az can't find a way to make him stay. Thirty-five years later, there's a familiar face at Aziraphale's new job, and it threatens to break his heart all over again. Can they do it better this time?

Ships in the Night by tishae (G)

Aziraphale did not want to head home for Christmas. Spending the entirety of the holidays with his Mother and siblings seemed, if you asked him, like a special version of Hell carved out just for him. Making up a boyfriend that he was spending the season with seemed like a perfect excuse (and no, he wasn't going to think too hard about why he had provided Crowley's name), until his Mother had insisted they should both come. "It'd be great to meet him!" Aziraphale had no idea how he was going to explain this to the coffee shop owner he'd had a crush on for the last two years, much less convince him to take part, but he was about to find out. or It's Christmas time, and our ineffable idiots are faking a relationship while definitely not being totally, completely head over heels for each other.

The Fall (Edition) by Thinkinginscripts (M)

Anthony J Crowley, former face of Burberry, fashion editor of Hell Magazine, arbiter of cool, found himself perched at a small antique card table at the back of a cluttered bookshop, looking down at a tea pot and porcelain cups, milk jug and sugar bowl as if they were alien artefacts. Or Azir's family, of sound military stock, treated feelings a little like illnesses. They could be prevented, cured, but were certainly not to be shared. Or A human AU about what happens when a photoshoot in an atmospheric bookshop puts two men from different worlds together, and how long it takes them to bumble through the embarrassment of talking about Feelings (20+ chapters, it turns out).

Rain Fall by mageofthepeople (E)

A human, Victorian AU. Anthony Crowley and Azra Fell meet and fall in love and into a two year relationship while Az finishes university. When they are set to finally escape to the continent, they are separated for three years and neither of them are completely sure what happened to cause the split. When they accidentally run into one another, they find they can't move forward until they figure out what happened in their past.

Plus One by Caedmon (E)

Aziraphale Eastgate’s wealthy family have finally come to tolerate the fact that he’s gay in the last couple of years. However, to their mind, he’s in his mid-thirties and should be settling down with someone… acceptable. So Aziraphale tells them he has a boyfriend whom they haven’t met -and doesn't exist. Now his older brother is getting married, and Aziraphale has been given a plus one. They're expecting to meet his imaginary boyfriend, so he’s got to find a date. Fast. He takes his problem to his best friend, Fergus, who suggests his mechanic, Crowley. Much to Aziraphale's surprise, the gorgeous (and likely straight) mechanic agrees to go to the Tadfield Estate for the whole five-day event. Simple, right? Well...

The False and the Fair by Princip1914 (E)

Growing up in the shadow of West Virginia’s Eden Mountain, Aziraphale Wright always expected to work for the family coal mining company. Anthony Crowley, the son of a down-and-out miner, was going to become a pilot and leave town forever. Now, thirty years later, neither of their lives have gone as planned, and an unexpected inheritance brings them back into one another’s orbit. Aziraphale hopes that they can move beyond their shared past, and a high school arrangement that ended in disaster, but he has secrets of his own that threaten their fragile reconnection… Finished, July 2021. This fic will occasionally be archive locked (I put all my E rated work behind a lock at various times due to personal reasons) but please don’t let that put you off reading it!

- Mod D

[applepie-enthusiast]

Kimi no Na wa ft. SaneGiyuu

I can't believe there's no SaneGiyuu or any Giyuu ship with this amazing AU. Anyway, let's proceed to imagine.

Giyuu is a high school boy living in a remote town with his adoptive grandfather, Urokodaki and his grandkid Sabito. Giyuu's sister Tsutako has long passed away due to an illness, and their father is the Mayor. Suffice to say he's not a good person at all.

Giyuu hangs out often with his two best friends, Mitsuri and Rengoku (initially I thought of Mitsuri and Obanai, it works too except Obanai hates Giyuu's guts hahaha)

While Giyuu loves his grandfather and his two best friends, he sometimes wonders about the life outside the little town he grew up on.

Sanemi is another high schooler who lives in Tokyo. His parents had long separated and custody was decided that their mother got all his other siblings while he volunteered to be with his father, who refused that he gets no one. Sanemi hates his father so much but he thought he'd rather be the one who suffers than his siblings. He's very thoughtful to everyone in his family but has trouble communicating and expressing how he truly feels about them.

He works part time and has a harmless admiration towards Kanae, his superior at work.

He is best friends with Obanai and Tengen.

When they started switching, it's an understatement to say that things escalated fast in both an amusing and surprising way.

Giyuu walks into school and wonders why Mitsuri and Rengoku were saying he was acting oddly the day before.

"Well..." Mitsuri started, not knowing how to continue it without sounding rude. "You kind of forgot where your locker is and you were very—"

"Energetic!" Rengoku chipped in enthusiastically.

Mitsuri shyly tells Giyuu that he may or might not have picked a fight with Akaza, the kid in the other classroom, who was picking up fights while blurting out and asking who is the strongest.

"You may or may not have punched him..." Mitsuri continued, looking concerned.

Giyuu nurses his hand, "Ah, so that explains why it was aching and kind of numb..." He said nonchalantly.

"Mm!" Rengoku smiles at him, "But to be honest, it was heroic of you, I never would've expected you'd stand up to them like that! You'd always rather rattle them with words!"

Giyuu couldn't say anything. How could he? He doesn't remember a thing.

"You didn't forget your lunch today?" Tengen aims a teasing grin at Sanemi, who merely gave him a look.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Obanai sighed, "You were acting weird yesterday. You forgot your Ohagi, which never happens. You forgot where you work, and you were surprisingly chill when you got a call from your father demanding you do errands."

"What the fuck? I don't remember any of that shit. Quit messing with me." Sanemi shrugs and left, thinking that he did have an odd dream that he was living someone else's life, but, it was a dream, right?

"That was unusual, right?" Obanai glanced at Tengen, who was smiling, a faint misplaced blush on his cheeks. "Actually, he was kinda cute yesterday."

Obanai grimaced at his friend.

Giyuu was having a dream when he heard a loud, unfamiliar ringtone blasting bloody vocals at an ungoldy volume. Still with his eyes closed, he reached out to his phone, thinking Sabito played a prank again and changed his ringtone. But instead of grabbing a phone, he falls from a bed. Which is weird, he doesn't have a bed. Groaning, he slowly got up from bed and adjusted his vision around. He's in an unfamiliar room. Fuck. He hadn't been kidnapped, right? The thought was about to make him slightly worry but then he heard an angry voice call out to him. Except it's not his name. "Sanemi", the voice said.

Slowly standing up, he quietly peaked over and saw a huge, buff man with black hair and a scary expression, glaring at him. "The fuck are you staring at? Move! Go to school or pick fights in alleyways, I don't care. Gimme the money Shizu owes me tonight, or else!"

Giyuu merely stared at the man, who in his observation looked a bit shocked at his reaction. The man left, not earning anything from him.

Giyuu heard the god forsaken ringtone again and rushed to his phone, when he failed to answer in time, a message popped in, "You're late again! I won the bet with Iguro, he said you'd be in time today. Lmao."

The name suggests it came from "Tengen", Giyuu then gently placed the phone down and walked to the mirror.

He was undeniably not in his body. He had quite a much larger physique and more refined muscles that were visible even while wearing a shirt. He had spiky white hair, and a number of scars littered his face and arms.

Instead of panicking, he quietly looked around the room, saw what could be a uniform, grabbed it and went inside the bathroom to start the day.

Stepping outside, he is greeted by a beautiful scenery of the city he only ever sees in television and the internet. Giyuu then went to the guy's school, trying his best to blend in and live his life. He found out the name of the boy is "Sanemi".

Sanemi woke up, he wasn't in bed. Trying to think back, he had no memory that he didn't go home even if he never wanted to. Not that the apartment with his dad can even be called a home. But now, he's in a futon, in a room with a traditional touch to it. Suddenly, someone pushed the doors open, and he sees a teen with peach colored hair.

The kid snorted, "What, Giyuu? Gonna pick a fight with me again?"

Giyuu? Who's that? Sanemi thought to himself, his eyebrows creased in annoyance and confusion. Yet he feels tired.

"Get up, it was your time to make breakfast but since I know you cook shit, I took the liberty of doing it. No worries, just come down to breakfast. Urokodaki-jii is waiting for you." With that, the boy left.

Sanemi got up from his futon too fast and stomped his way to the full body mirror. And is flabbergasted to see he wasn't himself. It's some guy with an unruly black hair and striking blue eyes. He had no scars, and is a tiny bit shorter and smaller than his own body.

Sanemi wandered his eyes and saw the kid's ID with the same face plastered there. "Tomioka Giyuu" it says. He ran a hand through his hair and stayed confused, none of this answers his question. Fuck, he'd have to find out what's happening.

Soon enough, those two found out what they were experiencing wasn't a dream, and they were indeed switching bodies and lives.

Both agreed they'd keep a journal in their phones to keep track of what was happening.

"Hey ponytail, stop trying to freak out my friends with your gloomy demeanor. Act more like me, goddammit."

"I could say the same to you. Stop picking fights with Akaza and Sabito. You're bruising my body. You're also making Kanroji and Rengoku worried."

"Don't take this on me, stop being weird with Kocho for me! Now she thinks I'm soft with all those stuff you did for her."

"Kocho is a good person. Anyway, you are soft. You did all those Maths notes for me. That was very thoughtful."

"Well yeah, your maths notes are shit. Better thank me for my immaculate handwriting there."

"Thank you. But in all other subjects, you don't write at all. You wrote numbers only. Also, I think Tengen might also be into you. Iguro seems to hate it when I'm the one he hangs out with."

"No, Tengen does not! He's just weird! Like you! And Iguro probably sensed your dumb aura. Learn how to cook, too. Your cooking is shit."

"Genya said he loved the Ohagi I made. He's a good kid."

"Don't be friendly with my family too.. especially that shitty dad. That thread thing you do with your grandpa and that peach haired kid is so hard goddammit. When has the threads ever talked geez."

"The thread does talk. Also, I'm not friendly with your dad, I was civil. I'm in no position to say this, but you and your family can escape him, you don't have to deal with that."

"Wow, who gave you the right to be chummy enough to give me an advice?"

"Your mom said she'd hope you all could live in the same roof soon, just you, her and your siblings. Genya enjoyed the times we played Mario Kart and I lost.. Anyway, I suggested you and your family will go and watch a comet pass by. I don't know if it will be me or you in your body then, but if it's you, please go."

"Oh my god you're such a weirdo..."

"😶✌️"

"Stop using emojis too... Sucker weirdo..."

Giyuu wouldn't stop talking about a stupid comet. What comet? There was no news about it. But perhaps it's not a bad idea.

Suffice to say, Sanemi started looking forward to switching with Giyuu and meeting his friends. He liked the personality of that Rengoku kid, even if Mitsuri annoys him a bit. He did loved Urokodaki's cooking, and the times he brawled with Sabito and the satisfaction he felt when Sabito loses everytime. He also began looking forward to the notes they exchange.

The day came, however, no comet showed up. He and his family ended up just eating and watching a movie. He waited for a time to switch, and Giyuu's entry on his phone.

However, none of those came again. He went to investigate, and his friends Tengen and Kanae came with him, and lead them to a town called Itomori.

Sanemi is shocked when everything that reminded him of the things that transpired with Giyuu is slowly disappearing.

Finally he learns the truth, Itomori was devastated by the comet three years ago. He remembered Giyuu from three years ago meeting him in a train, but at the time, he didn't know him yet. Their times weren't synched.

He hoped that he would be given another chance to save Tomioka.

And he was given that chance.

Everything is up to your imagination at this time hahaha.

Sanemi and Giyuu meeting there, and Sanemi smiling at Giyuu ever so fondly, "I went to look for you, but you were so far away." Giyuu crying in tears of joy of finally seeing Sanemi again.

After they met, things would get serious. Sanemi told Giyuu the plan.

Just, imagine, Mitsuri being the one who broadcasts in the school, and Rengoku trying to get people to go to the school but his dad stopped him.

But he is equally shocked to see the comet really did split up.

Giyuu, running with all of him, stumbling and falling, and remembers Sanemi's words.

"So we won't forget, let's write each other's name on our hands."

Upon opening his palms, it reads,

"I love you."

Giyuu is shocked, happy and he mumbles fondly, tears on his eyes,

"I can't remember your name with this..." And brings his hand close to his lips. He gains the motivation to convince his father to evacuate people to the high school, and suceeded in doing so.

Years after, Sanemi and Giyuu meet again, having better lives (Sanemi away from his dad and now sanemi is living with his family; While Giyuu lives in the city)

They don't have the memories of those times with them, but are willing to get to know each other again. This time, death is a far away thing just yet.

[fandomnsfw]

A Gift From Thor - Ivar the Boneless x Reader

(Outfit and hair from this imagine!)

Pairing: Ivar the Boneless x Reader

Prompt: Saved by Lennon Stella and my lack of votes from my deleted poll 😂 sad times man

Description: You are a Viking healer, who travels the world to learn all healing techniques. After an unfortunate tumble from a ship you get lost at sea. As Valhalla becomes more certain you pray to Thor for love and boy does he deliver.

Warning: None really apart from use of a few dirty words for a Manhood.😂

********

“Please don’t let me die here Thor.” You pleaded towards the sky before going under again trying to not swallow anymore water.

“Please don’t let me die here Thor.” You pleaded towards the sky before going under again trying to not swallow anymore water.

When you came back up you realised the storm was spreading around you. You let tears fall down your face as you decided to float on your back for a while. You stared up at the sky suddenly feeling very tired. You tried to fight it but you had been out here for too long.

You knew you wouldn’t survive this despite praying to Thor so you let yourself slip your eyes shut. You hated that you had yet to do so much with your life. You didn’t regret much but you did have one regret swimming through your head as you felt your body slip into unconsciousness.

‘Please let me fall in love once before you take me to Valhalla.’

“Wake up woman! Come on!” You heard someone scream as your body was being shaken. You let your eyes flicker open and the first thing you saw was blue. You thought it was the sea for a second but then realised it was someone’s eyes.

You shot up and backed into a corner anxiously as you looked around the boat your were on. The Vikings on the boat were staring at you curiously as you assessed your dripping wet clothes. You were only in a white night gown which was wet enough to see through making you cross your arms to cover yourself as you curled into a ball.

“What is your name?” The blue eyed man asked with a small glare.

“Y-Y/N.” You stuttered as a cold gust of wind swept over you.

“I am King Ivar.” You stared into his blue eyes and handsome appearance before looking towards the sky with a laugh. Thor couldn’t be serious you thought humorously.

“King Ivar the Boneless.” You chuckled as you shot him a sweet smile. The ruthless Viking that killed his own brother in anger, conquered England and Kattegat.

“You’ve heard of me.” Ivar snorted before staring you down as if trying to read you.

“Yes the ruthless Viking Ivar the Boneless you are a legend. I also know a lot about your condition.” You muttered pointing to his legs.

“I used to treat someone with the same problem.” You whispered softly with a polite smile.

“So you’re a healer?” He asked with a glare almost like he didn’t wish to talk about his illness.

“I have traveled the world learning every kind of healing knowledge I could. My goal was to be the best healer in the world. But it appears Thor has made my fate known.” You chuckled as you recalled your prayer to Thor.

“And what fate would that be?” Ivar asked curiously as he moved closer to you.

“I think I am here to take care of you.” You muttered shyly as you avoided his eyes.

“Maybe you are right. We’re almost at Kattegat, get some rest.” Ivar snorted before throwing his own furs over you as well.

He didn’t say anything and you chose to just accept the unusual kindness with a smile as you drifted off to sleep. You barely registered when your head leaned onto his shoulder but he made no move to remove you so you fell into a peaceful sleep.

Ivar watched you as you slept thinking about how beautiful you were and kind. You hadn’t even been scared of him when you found out who he was and that made him more curious about what kind of woman you were.

He also justified his fascination of you by telling himself you were a healer and could help him manage his pain, but he knew that was a lie. He wanted to get to know you. Find out everything about you and maybe even test your loyalty to him.

Once you had arrived at Kattegat Ivar shook your shoulder gently, rousing you from your slumber. You stood up before bending down to help Ivar stand with the help of his crutch. He gave you a nod before being lifted off the boat.

You followed closely behind as he walked to what you guess was his throne room. He smashed the door open startling the people inside of the room and he was approached by 3 men who looked at him with various emotions.

“Brother thank the gods your finally back.” The one with the same piercing blue eyes said as he approached Ivar with a hug.

“Yes and it appears the gods may favour this young woman here too.” He chuckled as he guided you by you hand to stand in front of him.

“This is Y/N she’s a healer that has traveled the world.” He explained slowly and his brothers looked you up and down. There was a small amount of lust in each of the brothers face which made you step back into Ivar’s space so you were stood in front of him your back pressed against his chest.

“Get your eyes off her brothers she not a slave she’s a free woman who will be my personal healer.” He huffed irritably as his arm wrapped around you waist. His touch was comforting and if made your heart race which was unexpected but you leaned into his touch and his eyes widened a little at that.

“I would like to wash up before we talk about anything else. If that is okay with you my King.” You muttered softly as you turned in his grip, your face was barely a hand width from his, your face flushed which seemed to amuse him.

“Of course love.” He muttered softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear sweetly.

You giggled softly at the new pet name, ducking your head shyly as he asked his slave to help you prepare a bath in his room. You were shocked he was allowing you into his room but you nodded as you followed the slave.

******

Once you had bathed you were dressed in the nicest dress you’d ever seen and the slave braided parts of your hair but left the rest hang loosely around your back. Your dress was pure black with blood red lace wrapped around the sleeves, they also gave you a long fur coat that made you feel like a queen.

You smiled down at your clothes before getting dragged back to the great hall. The slave had barely spoke to you which was a little awkward but once you saw Ivar again you felt more relaxed. He looked you up and down before giving a nod.

You approached him slowly and he pulled a stool up next to his seat at the head of the table. You sat down without a word, laying your hands on your lap as you waited for your next instruction. Slave were bringing in the food when someone finally addressed you.

“I have a question if you don’t mind?” Bjorn asked scepticism clear in his voice.

“Please ask away Bjorn Ironside I have nothing to hide.” You gave him a sweet smile which only seemed to make him more sceptical.

“You know of all our stories?” He questioned slowly and you just gave him a nod.

“Are you not scared of any of us? Even Ivar? No offence but you’re a healer not a shield maiden yet you have no fear of us.” He seemed confused but his question had you laughing which made everyone look at you.

“As you know I was stranded in the ocean when King Ivar found me.” They all nodded and waited for you to continue.

“Before I felt myself drift into unconsciousness I begged Thor for something before I died. It appears he listened.” You added with a giggle.

“What did you ask for?” Hvitserk asked with excitement in his eyes.everyone began eating as they waited for your response.

Bjorn and Ubbe were drinking their mead and Hvitserk and Ivar were eating a piece of meat when you finally spoke up. Let’s just say everyone was shocked by your next sentence.

“To fall in love.” You muttered casually as you vegans to eat your own food.

The drink in the two eldest brother mouth was spat everywhere in shock, Ivar dropped his meat and his mouth fell open and Hvitserk started laughing almost choking on his food as he did.

“You think the gods brought you here to meet someone you will love?” Ubbe asked as he coughed awkwardly.

“No I think the gods brought me here to love Ivar.” You answered simply giving Ivar a sweet smile who flushed a little but his eyes were full of amazement.

“Ivar?” Bjorn asked humorously as he began eating his food.

“Why is that so funny?” You huffed angrily suddenly feeling very offended by how they were treating you.

“Yes, why is that so funny?” Ivar asked irritably, his hand coming down to give yours a reassuring squeeze.

“Because you cannot…you know…” Ubbe muttered awkwardly and you shot a glare his way.

“Because you cannot satisfy a woman.” Hvitserk blurted out and you stood up so fast making everyone jump.

“I can imagine you don’t do a great job at doing it either!” You screamed throwing a cup in Hvitserk’s direction hitting him square it the head. He stood up to retaliate but Ivar stood up in warning.

“Don’t you dare touch her!” Ivar growled as he pulled stroked your hair gently making you smile to yourself.

“I apologise I lost my temper but you should not talk about things you do not understand.” You muttered with a pout.

“He is our brother we know more about him than you.” Ubbe huffed in annoyance.

“Yes about him but not his illness! I have treated another person like him and his cock works just fine from what his wife said. In fact last I heard his wife had given birth to their 4th child.” You snorted as you remembered the joy of the first time his wife managed to conceive.

“How?” Bjorn asked curiously as he leaned his chin on his intertwined fingers.

“The first step is actually getting the person walking and seeing as that has already done all he needs is a special herb from China and a woman to warm his bed.” You answered honestly though the last string of words caused your heart to ache at the thought of another woman enjoying him.

“Kattegat has a few Chinese traders who pass through here maybe one of them has it.” Ivar responded with a small amount of excitement in his voice.

You nodded softly as you stared at your hands and tried not to think about the lucky woman who would be held by this beautiful man. Suddenly you heard Hvitserk laugh at your eyes shot up at the sound.

“And you want to be that woman.” He snorted with a smirk and you frowned.

“I would never presume that a King would want to bed me. I said I was sent by the gods to love Ivar I did not say he was to love me. I will spend my life serving him as his healer and loving him silently.” You muttered with tears in your eyes before standing up and walking out of the great hall.

You could not bare anymore snide comments or horrible things being said about Ivar. How could brothers be so mean to their brother. Not to mention he is their King they should show respect despite being blood.

You were strolling round the markets when you came across what looked like a Chinese trader. You gave him a nod before asking in Chinese if he had the herb you were looking for. He gave you a shocked grin at your perfect Chinese before passing you a bag of the herbs. You inspected it and gave him a nod before telling him you’d be back with gold for him.

You slowly strolled back to the great hall with a small smile but as you entered the hall to see the brothers now drinking around the fire you smile dropped and you walked past them to Ivar.

“I found the herb but I have nothing to trade for it.” You mumbled awkwardly as you avoided his gaze.

He stood up, making his way to his bedroom, you followed him slowly and as you stood in front of him he passed you a bag of gold coins. You gave him a nod and turned to walk out the room but Ivar’s hand grabbed your hand spinning you back around.

“Do you truly believe the Gods sent here to love me?” He asked quietly as he locked his eyes into yours.

“Yes. I feel a connection to you. I feel so calm when I am near you.” You answered him, his hand came up to caress your cheek and you leaned into his touch involuntarily.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I find it hard to believe you have never loved a man.” He chuckled as if the thought was ridiculous.

“I have spent my life travelling I have never even bed a man before.” You muttered shyly as you averted your eyes from his now wide ones.

Ivar nodded and released you so you quickly ran back to the market and received the herbs. Hopefully this worked because even if it was not you he chose to bed you hoped it would make him happy. His happiness was your only concern right now.

Once you returned you passed the herbs to Ivar who looked at them with a raised brow. His brothers came over to the throne and gave there brother a sign to hurry up. You nodded at Ivar as you took the bag from him.

You took the meat leg in Ubbe hand with a cheeky smile before ripping off a piece of meet and coating it with green herbs. You picked up the coated meat and passed it to Ivar.

“It called Yin Yang Hou. It’s a Chinese herb.” You stated as Ivar threw in his mouth nervously. You waited for what felt like years but really it was only 20 minutes before Ivar’s eyes widened.

“It works.” Ivar laughed as he stood up.

“Yes we can see that.” Ubbe laughed as you all looked at his noticeable erection.

“Very clearly.” You giggled as you looked at his size through his pants.

Ivar hobbled over to you with a smile before he pulled you in for what felt like a hug from a lover. One hand was in your hair while the other was very low on your back. You actually felt his hardened member pressed against your stomach as he held you.

“Thank you.” He whispered in your ear before stepping back.

“So who shall I bring to your room?” Ubbe asked joyfully as he patted his brother back.

“No one.” Ivar answered and your eyes shot to his.

“But you are finally able to bed a woman.” Hvitserk laughed evenly as he frowned at Ivar.

“Y/N would you excuse us for a moment.” Ivar spoke, you gave him a nod before leaving the Greta hall and waiting outside. Ivar watched as you walked out before turning to his brothers with a smile.

“You’re going to bed her aren’t you?” Bjorn snorted with an approving nod.

“No I am going to make her my wife.” Ivar grinned and his brothers laughed and congratulated him.

******

Later that night there was a meeting called by Ivar, saying everyone must attend. You were already by Ivar’s side as everyone started pouring into the great hall with chatter. You could here people asking each other if they knew what was going on but no one seemed to know except Ivar and his brothers.

Ivar stood up and everyone stopped talking, listening to whatever he was about to say. You bowed you head in respect before lifting it to watch him address his people.

“I have brought you all here to inform you I have found a woman that I wish to make queen.” You stomach dropped as the words left his mouth. Your heart squeezed painfully as you looked down to hide your tears.

“Her name is Y/N and she is a healer.” Your eyes shot up to him who was staring down at you. The tears that had escaped seemed to shock him and he approached you carefully.

“What is wrong my love?” He asked gently and you wiped your eyes with a smile.

“I thought you were going to marry some random beautiful Princess or something.” You sniffled with a pout and he just laughed before cupping your cheek and leaning down.

When his lips touched yours it was like a million sparks exploding behind your eyes. It felt like the most amazing thing you’d ever felt. It was your first kiss and you wished it would never end. He pulled away to look at his people who were smiling.

“Meet your future Queen of Kattegat!” He cheered heartily before leading you to the queens throne. You blushed as he made you sit down.

If someone would if told you as a year ago that you would one day be a queen you would’ve laughed. Yet here you were with the most beautiful man you’d ever seen holding your hand as he tells you he wishes to marry you.

“I am shocked you wish to marry me my King.” You whispered to him as he laced your finger together.

“Why? You are beautiful, kind and know how to handle my legs among other things.” He smirked as he brought your hand to his lips with a lustful gaze. You flushed under his gaze but gave him a smile to show him you were happy.

“I wish to make a sacrifice to Thor as a thank you to him for leading me to you.” You chuckled happily and he nodded his head in agreement.

“And maybe to Freya so she might bless us with a child.” He added making you giggle returned his nod.

You could not believe everything that had happened and how quickly you fell in love with this man beside you but no matter what you knew your life together would be adventurous and for that you could not wait.

[mah-t-wordblog]

can you make a modern au fic lee muichrio ler gyokko???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? thanks

Hehe there it is!!!! 💛💛 hope u like

The Oni of the Vase

Lee: Muichiro Tokito

Ler: Gyokko

(Kimetsu academy universe)

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡

Ships: NONE

Warnings: This is a tickle fic, if you don’t like it, just scroll down

This fanfic is originally in Portuguese, my English is translated using an automatic translator, if there are any big errors you can tell me so I can fix them

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡

Muichiro was walking normally through the halls of Kimetsu academy, he was heading towards the cafeteria to find Yuichiro

As he passed by the laboratory, he heard something approaching from behind, as his instincts are very fast and sharp, he soon turned to see what it was

But he saw nothing, just a vase of plant

He thought it was normal and kept walking, until he heard the same noise, when he turned around, he was sure that the pot had moved

Muichiro sighed

"Let's go, you must be one of those demons that the school talks so much about, huh? You can show up, I'm not afraid of you”

The vase moved again

“Let's go, I already kicked the other one” Muichiro had already met another demon at school, and kicked it so hard that he made a giant lump on the creature's head

The vase moved, but this time something unexpected happened, a very ugly creature came out of it

It had eyes instead of mouths and mouths instead of eyes, it looked like a snake mixed with a fish, full of scales and it smelled like fish

“Hyu! Hyu! Hello, young man! I see you were looking at my art” the creature said

“No, I was n-“

“My name is Gyokko” the oni interrupted him “and I make these wonderful, incredible and beautiful vases, what do you think?”

Muichiro looked at the ceramic piece and shrugged “cool”

He prepared to continue on his way, but Gyokko teleported close to him and held him

“Look closely! You didn't even look!”

Muichiro looked at the vase again “it’s a little crooked”

Gyokko gasped “WHAT?”

“Here” Muichiro pointed to one side of the vase “it’s crooked. I didn’t like it”

“Argh! You idiot! I’m going to- I” Gyokko growled

“What are you going to do, ugly demon?” The boy faced him

“Do what I do to those who ignore or speak ill of my art, hyu! Hyu!”

Gyokko quickly grabbed both of Muichiro’s arms, the boy got scared and started to struggle

“Let go of me you piece of shit!” The boy cursed

“Ah! What a dirty mouth, hyu! Hyu! You won’t curse me anymore when I do this”

About ten more hands appeared from the creature’s body, which stretched out and began to squeeze Muichiro’s body

The boy started to laugh, he couldn’t hold back, there were hands on his sides, ribs, armpits, everywhere, under and over his clothes

“Never ignore me again! Never! You will suffer my horrible tickle torture forever! Hyu! Hyu!”

“NOHOHOHOHO” Muichiro tried to kick him, but his elastic body dodged him “HEHEHEHEHELP HEHEHEHEHEHELP”

The boy was almost crying and couldn’t take it anymore, this was too much for him

“Nobody is going to help-”

“Hey, you stinker!”

Gyokko felt a rock or something hard hit his head

“Ouch!”

“Let go of my brother!” Yuuichiro jumped close to the two and kicked the creature, which made him let go of Muichiro and complain in pain

“Come back here you pests!”

Yuichiro ran with Muichiro until they lost the oni

“Ah, what was that, Muichiro?”

“I don’t know! He was so ugly”

The two looked at each other and started laughing

“Let’s tell the principal about this” Muichiro said, as the two started walking again

“Yeah, before any more students die from so many tickles, if I hadn’t arrived you would be dead”

The older one nudged his brother

“Hey stop!” Muichiro laughed

Gyokko hid in his vase again, waiting for someone to pass by

And if his next victim didn’t pay attention to his art, poor guy, he had no idea what was coming

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🧡

Hehe I liked writing that one 💛💛

[a-bag-of-issues-blog]

Language in a Space Age

I've been going down the "humans are Space Orcs" rabbithole again, and a lot of it felt unsatisfying to me, so I tried my hand at whipping up a story I liked.

---

It was four sols prior when the security contract with the mercenaries ended.

Three sols prior when the ship’s Captain had said Xe might know someone.

Two sols prior when we had landed on the sandy, hot planet.

And one sol prior when I had first seen a Human fight.

It was an underground fighting arena – almost literally, with only the very top of the domed structure rising out of the sand dune, its colored glass absorbing the worst of the radiation. The seating was arranged in the large, concentric rings common of many gathering places (and yet we still do not have a word in Common for it, is that not strange?), and they were packed with people and dust alike. Despite the obviously ill maintenance of the ventilation and heating, they were bearable, and I only had to remove a small amount of dust from my body coat as we ventured deeper inside.

“So, boss, who’s your mysterious benefactor?” Asked Asdelon as its left eye moved towards the Captain, the right one continuing to scan the crowd.

Our pilot was something of an outsider – from both its home culture and, perhaps, every culture it has ever entered. As a Khetansh, it was born an almost perfect clone of its progenitor, who was itself part of a set of almost perfect clones of their progenitor, like the rest of its species one way or another. And yet Asdelon has always described itself as different, in a way that the Common tongue can not express. There was a word for it, in its language – but it had never found the need to translate it, and I had never dared ask. It was one of the species that felt the need to stare at others’ eyes as it spoke, and while I would now trust it with my life, back then those large eyes and sharp teeth reminded me too much of the old cautionary stories my parents used to tell me.

Those eyes turned fully onto the Captain after some time of no response. While the scales on its face could move very little, its voice was higher and definitely sarcastic when it continued:

“Thanks for the info, boss, makes tracking this Iethid a lot easier.”

The Captain’s eyes swayed in time with his antennae, a sign of what I had begun to recognize as amusement.

“Oh, don’t scuff your scales now. I was just looking around.”

Captain Exlasl was a Xelthor, and a large one for Xirs age. Xirs outer skeleton was a slight blue and white, and Xe liked to brag that the brown stripped markings on Xirs abdomen were signs of great strength and wisdom in Xirs culture. As I did not – and do not – have much knowledge on Drugarian Xelthor culture, I never challenged Xir about that.

“And we could be helping you, if you were a little less mysterious about it.”

“Don’t worry, I think you’ll have your answer soon enough…” The translator trailed off as Xe reached up to adjust it with Xirs smaller hand, but Xirs eyes began turning towards the arena floor where the latest combatant (a Horenga, with a body coat almost identical to mine) had entered. Asdelon looked down at the combatant, and I could tell it was not impressed.

“Really? That one? I’ll give you that they’re probably a little faster than our Horenga here, but I can tell you right now they’re still more…how do you say…more words than action.”

“The Horenga has a name.” I reminded it. “And their name is Linome.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Its tongue flicked out to drag down its right eye (a method of self-cleaning that was also an expression of boredom, almost like how I and other Horengas clean our ears) and it shifted the weight on its legs. “Listen, if you’re out of ideas, then you could’ve just told us. No need to –”

The announcer’s voice called out, in a dialect of Common so blended with the local language that I could not understand a single word. A combatant walked out, and I have never felt such awe and dread so strong in a single moment before.

Humans are not rare. They are not the strongest species, or the largest species, or the toughest. But they are resilient, they are tenacious, and many are warriors.

This Human was small for her species – which meant her eyes were level with the middle of the ears of her opponent. Her skin had multiple marks on them, wounds healed from past battles in the raised and bumpy way Human skin heals, and her limbs were large and clearly muscled. Her clothes were loose and flowing, and her hands were wrapped – from the base of her digits up to the second joint of her arm. Her face, though, drew my attention.

Supposedly, Human faces change drastically as they emote – the movement of skin and muscles in the face being their primary form of expression. Since moving onto the sand, though, the Human’s face had changed as little as Asdelon’s had – even when they bowed to their opponent, even as they moved to opposite ends of the arena.

“Is that your secret weapon?” I still could not pick up on the inflections of Asdelon’s voice, but the way it moved closer to the arena showed it was interested in some way. Exlasl’s pincers clicked together quickly, amusedly – excitedly, even.

“You bet your behind it is. You’re about to meet the person that once tore off my big arm.”

That caught my attention – but the bell had already rung, and the combatants were running at each other face first already.

---

The event lasted almost an entire rotation, and afterwards we still could not immediately contact the Human, because she was still being treated for her injuries. She had promised to contact us on the next rotation, though, which was good because I needed the time to prepare myself.

The brutality and relentlessness of Humans were not exaggerated. When that poor Horenga struck the Human a over and over, she simply took the blows she could not avoid, and a single direct strike to their chest was enough to end the fight. When an Asdelon walked into the ring with her, she did not flinch as she stared down those large eyes, her face did not change as her skin became torn from claw and teeth. And when a Xelthor entered…

They say human hands were not born for fighting – they are dexterous, but with no more reinforcements than the rest of their body. Yet they taught themselves ways to fight with them anyways, and trained until their bones would break stone.

And on and on and on like that she went, battle after battle, until the rotation was done when her final opponent simply dropped from the exhaustion of so many previous battles. And we were to talk to that, because she was old friend of the Captain’s and “more than willing to be violent when necessary”.

I was scared. Terrified. Multiple levels of fear beyond that which the Common tongue could not fully describe. I was pacing the doorway in front of our rented resting place because I had rested and eaten multiple times during the rotation already and felt like I might be sick if I had done any more of either. I wanted to run, and – what? Feed the stereotype that Horenga were mostly weak cowards? Abandon the Captain and Asdelon, after all they’d done for me? But – but we were about to have a Human onboard! A fleshy, hairless, skin and bones death machine –

“Hello?”

The word was in Horengian (the global version of it, anyways) and while it was clear and understandable, it sounded…wrong. Like a machine had spoken it, except the voice was very clearly…

“Human?”

That was a rude way to address her, looking back on it. She did not mind though, instead only tilting her head slightly in a…shockingly familiar expression of confusion.

“Do you…prefer…the Common language?” Despite the pauses and hesitation and the accent (or, well, the complete absence of any accent), she was easily understandable. I was, of course, afraid for my very fragile life so I did not have an answer ready for her.

Luckily for me, it was at that moment that the Captain opened the door to investigate the noise. Xirs antennae rose fully up at the sight of the human, and her mouth curled upwards as she saw Xir (a human gesture of joy, the one that didn’t involve baring teeth).

Xir didn’t even turn on his translator, simply started clicking in his native Drugarian. And she answered back in kind, pulling her lips back and finally showing clear white teeth as she clicked back at him…somehow (Humans and their terrifyingly good mimicry.) The entire conversation afterwards happened entirely in Drugarian, and I wound up serving drinks for them almost out of an absence of other things to do.

The Human did not ever take off her coat – light brown, large, almost seeming to drag her down – and every time I turned my back to her, I could feel myself being watched. When the captain went to go fetch Asdelon, she turned and looked at me directly.

“You never answered my question, earlier.”

Cornered, instantly. Like a true predator.

“Well…I don’t mind whatever language you use, really. It’s not like I particularly like our global language.”

She moved her head up and down – nodding, a gesture of understanding in some cultures. “What’s your…original language, then?”

“Oh, no need to ask, it’s not like you need to learn it to really talk anyways if we’re going to be travelling together.” Deflect, quickly. “Why do you ask, anyways? The Common language was made for this situation, wasn’t it?”

The human tilted her head, again – the lack of moving ears removes much of the subtler indications in body language, so I wasn’t sure if she was just considering me or confused. She was staring at a point above my head, which – well, I appreciated, but still.

Eventually, when she spoke again, it was slow.

“The Common language…it is what we all have in common. The one through line to unite us disparate people. But it is not…comprehensive.”

She took off her coat, then – and I almost jumped when she let it drop onto the floor, its impact as heavy as if it was filled with sand.

“There are sandbags, in my coat.” Well, that explained it. “The gravity here…it is less than that of my home. Dirt, as we call it.”

Her lips curled up, briefly, at the name.

“The rotation cycle here is different as well. The people are of course different. Yet…when I see them…many are not from this world. Many do not need bags. They need other things. Things to maintain temperature, gravity…level of water.”

Her digits were moving, again, four of them thrumming a rhythm (humans sang, of course they did, anything with a voice like that could sing) as she tried to piece together her next words.

“The Common language is the thing we have in common. That we are people is another of those. But reducing so many people to only the things they have in common…it is like reducing a galaxy to a painting. Too much is lost in translation.”

There was a moment of silence. She was staring to a point to my right. I was looking just over her head.

“…we have a saying for that. In my language. Ylimuan Horenga, I mean. It…” I could not help but chitter a little at the irony. “It doesn’t translate very well.”

She tilted her head, a small amount to the other side. When her face changed this time, a little bit of teeth was showing, but she closed her lips almost immediately to hide it.

“Could you…teach it, to me?”

Excerpts from What Is Lost Between The Words by Linome Aiklion Prinou, translated into Earth English.

[rei-ismyname]

X-Men: The End - Review

Book 1: Dreamers and Demons

In one of Chris Claremont's many ill-advised returns to the X-books, he set about writing a hypothetical and non-canon end to the series. Set about 15 years in the future, the story travels to every corner of the X universe - if briefly - so if nothing else everyone gets an answer for where their favourite character ends.

Greg Land did the cover. I hate Greg Land.

I praise it mostly on a conceptual level. Pretty much every long running corner of the MU received a 'The End' mini, but Claremont split it up into 3 separate miniseries. Captain America and Iron Man both got 5 issues, KISS (yes, the band) got 3, the X-Men got 18. As someone who always wanted characters to die, grow and retire but was often foiled or undone by fiat - I respect that he'd want to do it properly. However, more is not always better. It's fun, cringe, and nonsensical at times. A LOT of people die unceremoniously. Don't take it too seriously.

The first few pages sets up that that 15 years have seriously passed. People are dead and retired, some have kids that look exactly like them, the never aging kids grew up. The Shi'Ar are killing X-Men, like a lot of them, except they're doing it in disguise. Jean Grey has returned as the Phoenix and is hanging out with (kidnapped him while he was doing Letterman lol) Nightcrawler, Carol Danvers' hologram, and Aliyah - the child of Bishop and Deathbird.

Here she is going for an expository jog down memory lane.

We spend a little time getting to know her, as she's the closest thing to a viewpoint character. She's inexperienced and way out of her depth, but her heroic instincts are sharp. Interestingly she 'doesn't really care about the Shi'Ar.' Aliyah lives on the Starjammer with a pretty impressive holodeck, she's never met her dad, her mum is holding the Shi'Ar empire together and her best mate is holo Danvers. Lilandra is apparently 'mad.'

Immediately Kree slavers approach Chandilar and Claremont begins clearing the board. Madrox and Siryn die for real, Nocturne is a hound and Aliyah manages to knock her out and take her to the ship. Phoenix comes out of nowhere and begins wrecking shit and the Kree do the same.

Also, WarSkrulls.

If it sounds like confusing nonsense, that's because it is. The first third of the miniseries is about establishing Aliyah and checking in on various X-Men before killing most of them. Seriously, it's easier for me to list who lives rather than who dies. It's confusing but I think it works as front loading the deaths so books 2 and 3 have a more manageable cast of characters. If you plan to stick the landing, it's going to be easier to trim the decades of bloat/worldbuilding the X-books have received.

We get a brief overview of Earth stuff before they start to die, though everyone in these panels lives (mostly hehe). Kitty Pryde is running for president with Rachel as her campaign manager! Storm and Logan live together and he's her full time caretaker. Emma and Scott have two kids. Cable hunts terrorists apparently.

Here's the Summerses. A lot of people wear speed dealer sunnies in the future, with Cyclops even saying SPEED right there. Coincidence? Also their children are boring.

You'll note the daughter may as well be a clone of Emma (she isn't but you know what I mean.) The baby is called Alex after long dead Havok, definitely tempting fate there. I'd sooner call my child Omega Red, but I'm not a parent. Chuck pokes his big bald head in and Emma tells him to beat it. Scott checks in with folks all over the globe, many of whom die. He is concerned of course.

Told you. Rogue and Gambit live and they definitely saw The Matrix. This isn't plot relevant - this is just how they roll apparently.

Hank and Cecilia McCoy live and they do *something* in Africa. Doctor stuff I think? This book moves so damn quickly. They live but everyone around them dies. Hank is right about the mutant problem. The named X-Men body count is at 18 by book 3.

Hey Yukio! Come to homoerotically kill Ororo, huh? DW, she wins despite full paralysis. Don't fuck with Storm. At this point we find out ALL these assassins are WarSkrulls sent by the Shi'Ar. Storm's powers have wrecked her body btw to the point Logan feeds her and she kinda wants to die. 😭

Madeline Pryor, Stryfe, and some weirdo I don't know come for the X-Mansion. Dust dusts Maddie Pryor. That dude getting punched by Not!Stryfe is the son of Colossus and Polaris. Yeah he looks exactly like Colossus. Nice to get confirmation of Polaris' awful taste in men. She does have a dope butch short hair look that slaps, so it's not all bad choices and emotionally stunted communists.

Nearly everyone else not pictured is dead as a doornail, ash and bone at best. Claremont was pretty damn thorough - 90% of the X-Men and their allies dead. Apocalypse bit the dust too, in a pretty embarrassing way. Of course Sinister lives because he's working with the Shi'Ar but has his own agenda, as usual. They're starting to realise that the Shi'Ar sent the WarSkrulls, but the preemptive strikes were super effective. Book 1 ends on the Starjammer with the passengers realising Cassandra Nova has been Lilandra all this time.

I'm sorry, CHUCKY sends me. No cap. I could write an essay on this panel and invite speculation.

The last page has the Xavier Institute's singularity power core exploding after that lot end up also being WarSkrulls sent by the Shi'Ar - looks like having the school be built mostly from Shi'Ar tech backfired. The school is definitely gone - along with at least the state of New York but I suspect much more - then a smash cut to this masterpiece. Callisto with fucking tentacles for arms saying 'Chucky?' as Chuck is overwhelmed by grief. I'm assuming they're in a polycule with Mags over here, but it must gall him to be the third most dramatic person in a scene. It's just too much to respond without some kind of levity, but if it wasn't clear by now - the stage is being cleared ruthlessly. Northstar was at the school, so maybe some people survived but Claremont is not half arsing it. This is definitely a whole arse situation, maybe even more.

DUN DUN DUN 🫠

Wait what? Chuck's evil twin, the Mummudrai? Hectic! So we know we've just seen Cassandra Nova send many WarSkrull strike teams after X-Men in the form of people that will hurt them psychologically and it was very successful. Hmm... it's 15 years in the future - does that mean she's been leading Bird Gang this whole time? No Xandra in this timeline but the X-Men interact with the Shi'Ar a lot. That's some wild patience for Cassandra Nova, and the notion that she's been preparing all this time is terrifying. My God, all the X-Men are going to die aren't they? Maybe, though I can't stop thinking about how Lilandra Nova would have handled a booty call from Chucky. Ughh gross.

I think it's worth saying that the high amount of action is a YMMV sitch - I personally can do without no punching at all in a book, and get frustrated when a mandated and arbitrary fight happens just because that's what cape comics do. Just because action has to be special to wow me doesn't mean I don't recognise its value, mainly I believe we can demand more from our comics - as an evolved art form instead of the pulp it began as. What I said earlier about front loading the death applies to the action too. I suspect your enjoyment of this book will come down to your feelings on action or ability to appreciate it ironically/unseriously.

I'll leave part one there, though I want to point out that Sunspot is whitewashed so badly he looks like Shawn Mullins. At least he dies - I love Bobby Da Costa but I'd prefer no Sunspot to dorky white guy Sunspot. Stay tuned for part 2 and thank fuck that's over. Spinning a coherent narrative from a book without one is a challenge, especially with only 10 pictures to work with. I considered counting and listing all the deaths, but I got to 30 and realised I wasn't enjoying it and doubted anyone else would. I'm not a wiki, and hopefully I've done my job while leaving some meat on the bones for folks who still want to read it. Don't worry, Kitty's presidential run is still live and it's implied she won the primaries. Independent? As if. Definitely a democrat, because the X-Men are mostly centrist bitches. Still, I hope she wins and First Lady Rachel and her achieve something.

I haven't been doing much long form lately so I welcome any feedback you might have. 💜💜❤️

[tpher]

scary girl analysis !

something something the most clearly gimmicky gen 4 character we know. as your resident pahkitew island apologist, i dont care. it actually took me a bit to warm up to her and i figured id talk abt why that is

so her main thing is being creepy and sadistic for the sake of jokes. its not serious.. mostly. she does prove to actually be down to hurt others (such as when she got a hold of a jackhammer). but what about an instance where she wanted to hurt someone for actual reasons? when was that?

that was when priya went up to her to compliment her on doing a good job on the previous challenge. priya says that shes surprised by scary girl having done a good job.

scary girls response?

a very defensive "oh, it surprised you that i was good? cuz you thought id do bad?"

and thats the thesis of this post

scary girl is very insecure

backing up for a moment, in ep 2 when the teams were on ships and attacking each other, she was the one who came up with the idea of sinking the other teams ship as an idea on what to do when they were out of ammo (? iirc). but no one else heard that, just zee

then in ep 3, ripper makes her go last in the relay race thing bc he didnt want her to "blow things" for the team. she reacts by trying to bite his finger. not with a funny creepy smile, but with genuine anger to her literal bite. and then during that challenge, she infamously grabs a bear by the arm and starts beating it up while saying "thats what you get for growling at me!!!". once shes done, she goes "byeee" and goes on like nothing happened. proving that if someone wrongs her, she can easily let it go.. so long as she gets to do something back. remember this for later

and here we come back to her interaction with priya. so far, scary girl has proven herself to be a pretty alright player and she herself knows that. so the notion of someone being SURPRISED she did well?? does not sit well with her at all. but the way that she harps on the wording, even before zee steps in to make it worse, is what gets to me. it just really adds an extra layer to her character that, well. ironically surprised me! for someone who always seems to be in her own world, so unconventional, so ill-fitting with everyone else to also be insecure in some capacity?

anyway she tries to hurt priya with a spoon but gets interrupted. later on, priya is still thinking abt their encounter and feels bad so she tries to make it up to scary girl by flattering her. namely by saying that scary girls question was smart.. and priya being her awkward self, only dug herself in a hole by making it seem like that was a smart question by scary girls standards

scary girl is speechless. baffled. mad beyond words

it should be noted that scary girl looked offended when priya even started speaking. meaning that she also did not forget about their conversation that morning. she REALLY took it to heart. applying the bear logic here, had scary girl hurt her with the spoon earlier, would she be less mad? would she had considered each other even? and in that case, would this comment go over better or would it had simply restarted her need for revenge?

well. they dont interact for the rest of the episode up until the very end. after ripper used priya as a human shield, obviously injuring her

scary girl tells her that rippers a jerk and that priya didnt deserve that. so she'll be voting to get ripper out. and calls priya her "friend".

(her face and tone makes me a bit suspicious if this was genuine. but thats probably just her being her offputting self so i'll ignore it.) ok so by scary girl logic, priya deserved to have SOMETHING bad coming her way after what she said to her.

but not this.

scary girl, who came here to "make friends and watch them get really hurt", was not okay with what ripper did to priya. perhaps she thinks that only she could be allowed to hurt priya to balance things out? personally giving priya her karma, perhaps?

but now she considers priya a "friend". who likely wants to see her get hurt. but in the fun way that scary girl likely sees most other contestants as, possibly? idk.

anyway after all of that, we can see just how insecure scary girl can get over unintentionally awkward phrasing. just how deeply it hurts her feelings to be underestimated like that

season 2 spoilers ahead !!!

in season 2, we see even less of her. but there is SO much to work with

normal girl is so fascinating to me

by the time s2 starts, scary girl already has an all new look. shes trying to be "normal"

she admits in her confessional that some ppl thought she was too scary in the first season so thats why she changed her appearance and her everything. who were these ppl?

other than a dog as a joke, online forums, showing an interesting glimpse into the in-universe ""real world"" stepping into total drama. perhaps also a meta joke on the fandoms response to her but who knows. imagine unabashedly being yourself on tv and everyone is telling you to change. you are 16 and likely going through a weird phase. feeling a lot of heightened emotions already and ""knowing"" that this is who you are (at the moment). and if its not a phase? still 16 on international television getting lambasted by millions

and last but not least, her MOM??? her own mother. that just raises more questions abt how scary girl was before getting on td. was she NOT like this before? was she playing it up for the cameras? or did she just go unhinged without parental supervision? in any case the fact is that even her own mom wasnt okay with what makes her happy and how she presented herself.

so scary girls solution? to try her best to suppress anything that made her unique. to try to adhere to "societal norms", in her own words.

we dont see much of her in this ep other than her commenting on how shes normal and totally did not want to see someone get hurt. shes clearly struggling so bad. she knows that apparently what she likes isnt "right", therefore the opposite must be true, right?

she is simultaneously so immediately different that the others didnt even recognize her at first. yet still so "scary" that she cant fit in. she just doesnt know how no matter how hard she tries. if she were to stay longer, what can she do? this game is not only abt your skills in the challenges its also a social thing. how long until she snapped and went back to her old ways?

and then we get to the campfire ceremony. chef is about to call out whatever it was the she did wrong that day, but she interrupts him with a simple "no."

she cannot fathom being sent home, at least not this early. bc shes normal! she is sooo normal and she tried SO HARD to be normal! she read normal books and normal movies and studied normal people. she even taught herself to smile in a more acceptable way, which is so autistic coded to me. so she deserves to stay longer.

(getting flashbacks to my topher psychoanalysis and his entitlement being both a tragedy and his self-imposed downfall)

..but she studied "normal people" in her own not-normal way. while they werent looking. while they were sleeping. while they had no idea she was there.

so she got booted out for that. and she cannot believe it.

when she says that she "didnt even try to hurt anyone this time", she is mad. that was her ""fun"" and she managed to control it 100% only to get eliminated??? shes fed up!

but when she talks about how she taught herself how to smile in a "less-creepy" way?

she softens up and looks genuinely hurt.

she tried so hard. she saw all those horrible comments from people judging her based on like 5 episodes on a reality show. her own mother didnt accept her. her insecurity won and she aimed to change and repress everything that made her unique

and it still wasnt enough

[base0h]

Hey slayer. I've been violently ill lately and thought it be best to turn my misery into your profit, so here's a request for you. May I request the asl trio with an s/o that one night got really really sick?? Like I'm talking throwing up in the toilet, body shaking, feeling like you're going yo die type of thing. Thanks, have a great day and I hope you drink water 👋

a/n - nooo! I’m sorry about that anon :( I hope you feel better soon :) sorry in advance but I somehow make things cracky when they’re supposed to be serious 💀

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, vomit, comfort

- this guy hasn’t gotten sick once in his entire life, so he doesn’t know what the fuck to do when someone gets sick- (have you seen the way he tried to handle when nami got sick 😭)

- today, you already felt nauseous, sick to your stomach. The thought of eating made you want to throw yourself overboard-

- the rocking waves that shook the boat back and forth only contributed more- you weren’t even sure if this was your sickness, or sea sickness at this point

- maybe both?

- the toilet was your new bestie, the amount of times you threw up in there were countless

- chopper did his best with what meds he had- but nothing really eased the sickness. Your head just kept banging, dizzy from how many times you’ve thrown up

- your captain wasn’t sure what to do- he just kept frantically calling chopper over to see if you were ok.. He knew that maybe his funny antics weren’t going to help you right now

- “Sorry y/n… But I think this is just going to pass tomorrow, hang in there.” -chopper

- You were glad it wasn’t anything serious, but this was horrible

- Don’t you worry, Luffy stayed with you the entire night. He stole a bucket from Sanji for you to throw up in, and tried to tell you funny stories to lighten up your mood

- “Okok- ummmmm. Ok so there was this one time where grandpa kicked me down into a hole at night and-“ (Luffy was abused /with love)

- whenever you tried to sleep, he’d pat your head softly to lull you to sleep, and he tried his VERY hardest not to make any noise

- he ends up making noise but- it’s alright, you still love him (I hope)

- “Y/n! Don’t think about green! Like- don’t think about bushes and stuff! Think about uh… Meat! Wait- no. Uhm….“

- You were getting even more sick at the mention of the color green.. And meat? Luffy no.

- “NO I’M SORRY! DON’T THINK ABOUT MEAT! THINK ABOUT UH- THE SKY? THE GOING MERRY! SUNNY?”

- with him naming random stuff extremely loudly, it was able to distract you from all those gross thoughts, good save Luffy

- you made it through the night (traumatized) but alive. You were glad Luffy was there to stay with you, even though he’s not the best doctor in town lmao

- he loves you, and he’d do anything to make you feel alright :)

- he’s very experienced with almost every sickness, and he’s read about almost every kind of medical book he has in his library

- but nothing prepared him for taking care of the person he loved, because books don’t cover that :)

- you already asked Dragon if you could rest for today, and that alone made sabo so worried. You never had to miss a mission.. This must’ve been really bad

- as soon as the ship docked, sabo sprinted, and I mean SPED towards the headquarters

- my man literally knocked poor koala over on the way 😭

- when he burst through the door like a mad man, he grimaced when he saw how bad you looked

- you were still sitting by the toilet, your face turning green in close intervals

- “Oh hey sabo- how was the m-“ *throws up*

- “Y/N?! ARE YOU OK?!”

- He’s about to faint, but he managed to drag the doctor out from his office, and haul ass back to you for him to check you out

- sabo never knew he could be so tense and anxious, he found out today that he suffered from major anxiety whenever something bad happened to you 😭

- The doctor explained that it was simply a really bad stomach flu, and it would go away by either tomorrow or the next few days

- sabo was glad it wasn’t anything serious! But still, he was worried about you, I mean… You weren’t looking great-

- He tried his best, but whenever you threw up, he felt sick as well- so he comforted you while closing his eyes and covering his ears (he’s trying)

- at one point he had to run off because he threw up too 💀 probably from both feeling horrible because you were going through this. And also, he’s scared of vomit unfortunately

- just because he’s scared doesn’t mean he’s not going to stay with you 24/7! He’s sitting with you, giving you whatever you ask and need

- he tries to talk about anything except vomit and the color green lmao- but he somehow finds a way to get back to it??

- “Yeah on the mission today- we were freeing some of our comrades and one of them- his name’s Steve. He was wearing this AWFUL green shirt and I swear-!” *throws up*

- “I’M SORRY- FORGET EVERYTHING I JUST SAID PLEASE.”

- this poor man is dying, but trying 👍

- like Luffy, this guy has never been sick. EVER

- but he’s an expert at sensing whether or not you’re feeling ok- it’s kinda creepy

- it’s like he knows if a sneeze is coming, and he says bless you early 0-0

- this time, he didn’t catch it since he was off the ship, kicking marine ass on an island

- when he got back, you were- let’s just say.. You’ve been better.

- Whitebeard was worried, and Marco took a look at you right away. No one was as worried as Ace though, this poor guy was on fire, quite literally

- he kept accidentally setting things on fire around him from how worried he was!

- “Ace, don’t panic. Stay calm.” -Whitebeard

- “I AM CALM.”

- no he is not calm at all

- Marco told you that this would just have to pass normally, and he could only give you some anti-nausea meds

- when ace could finally go into your room, he was asking every single question known to man

- “Baby are you ok? You need water? Hugs? Food? A bucket? Meds? Blanket? Marco to turn into a fluffy bird and for you to hold him in your hand?”

- “…what?”

- let’s just say if you need something, he’s on it

- whenever you throw up, he’s like- cheering you on?

- “Great job! Get all that nasty stuff out! You got this!”

- I mean. It helped I guess 💀

- he’ll give you cuddles, hugs, anything to help you fall asleep and get through the night

- you finally fell asleep on him after a couple hours

- but this poor dude needed to pee so bad at around 3am. But the thought of waking you up, only for you to start throwing up again made him so sad..

- he didn’t want you to have to go through it again if you didn’t have to!

- so he sucked it up, and held it until you woke up at 7

- “Oh hey ace.. I feel a lot better now, thanks for staying.”

- “Oh my gosh that’s great! But give me like- 10 seconds I have to pee so fucking bad-!”

- my man SPED to the bathroom, leaving a literal trail of fire 💀💀💀

- he was in there for a while 😭

a/n - ace is so sweet 🥹