#someone tell me it's not worth it bc i'm slipping

[idliketobeatree]

at some point in my life I decided Marvel wasn't worth my investment anymore but...... the Lokius fandom keeps luring me in like that deepsea anglerfish, and the dangling pole of light is a fussy, kind looking blonde man who's exactly the type of character I always end up obsessing over. but I can't cave in, I'm not strong enough for another heartbreak. the struggle is real

[phagodyke]

man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[

[alchemistc]

Tommy, still a little uncertain despite Evan's very obvious and frequent heart eyes, despite Evan's frequent reassurances, despite the feeling curling under his own ribcage. Tommy's dated a baby gay openly twice before and been subjected to the pain of a partner tucking him away, or a partner more interested in the scene than anything genuine, Tommy who remembers all his time in the closet and how hard he'd had to work to pull himself out and keep himself out.

Tommy who thinks "he's adorable, this will be fun" and cuts a date short for both of their benefit because he doesn't Want That anymore.

Tommy who agrees to meet for coffee because he does feel a bit bad about the closet comment, he does genuinely like Evan as a person, trying to convince himself he'll be good when Evan says thanks but no thanks, I wanted to clear the air so you can stay friends with Eddie, I actually don't know how much I like men.

Tommy who says yes to a date to a wedding and suddenly has a screenshot of Evan Buckley's calendar open on his phone, gaze darting through his own plans to find time in between to meet - next Friday he's out with some of the harbor guys, but he could probably tell them his plans changed - but no, bc they'll know something and he's not ready for them to know something. Tuesday Evan has his niece, but maybe Tommy could bring them dinner? (Christ Tommy Slow Down).

Tommy who takes Evan to a trendy gay bar expecting him to at the very least soak in the experience, even if he's not actively checking out every hot guy (and girl) in the place, only Evan is So Invested in whatever story Tommy is telling him that it actually takes him an hour and a half to realize this isn't a run-of-the-mill dive.

Tommy who takes Evan to brunch expecting him to maybe hit on a server or the cute girl in the sundress across the patio (unfair, Tommy, you've seen literally zero evidence he's like that, except Tommy's still testing the waters and this is still very New) only Evan is critiquing the technique of this chefs pain perdu and gently coaxing a server over because he noticed Tommy's Bloody Mary was running low (They're Bottomless, Tommy, I'm not saying he's bad at his job I'm just saying it's busy and we should get our money's worth out of these bottomless drinks).

Tommy who is startled every time Buck grabs his hand in public, or presses a kiss to his cheek, or leans his forehead into Tommy's jaw with a huff of laughter like he's Enchanted by Tommy's dry humor.

Tommy who forces himself to remember once, twice, three four five times that this is new for Evan and he shouldn't push it, until he maybe forgets that he was testing Evan, a little. Unfair, again, but he's not sure Evan actually noticed.

Until some time after the wedding date, a night out turned hot and heavy in the elevator up to Evan's loft, they're giggling and grabbing handfuls of ass and when Evan slips inside the loft and presses Tommy to the inside of his door and sucks a mark into the skin of his collarbone (he noses aside the open neck of Tommy's Henley so it's not visible without some work, which Tommy appreciates) and darts a gaze up through his eyelashes and asks Tommy if he's passed all of Tommy's tests.

"I haven't --."

"You have, but I get it, Tommy you took me to a bar full of eligible queer people and I was so distracted by you it took me two hours to notice that guy hitting on me every time you went to the well to grab us drinks."

Yeah, he'd noticed that too. A lot more quickly than Evan, apparently.

Tommy who's never really dated someone so Into Him before having to reassess a whole bunch of things about himself and his comfort level with intimacy and pda and lovelorn looks sent in full view of strangers and friends and coworkers because despite best efforts to keep his expectations reasonable he's being romanced and Evan makes it feel effortless to accept it and respond in kind.

[luveline]

hi jade !! this is me resending my hotch request bc of ur recent post 🤍 i sent the one about hotch taking care of bau!reader who has a really bad stomachache, thanks so much, i think you’re amazing 💞💞💞

thank you for requesting angel! fem

You do this sad thing with your hands when you're in pain. Aaron wishes he didn't know your tell, that he'd never had reason to understand it, but he does. Your fingers, in particular your pinky, curl toward your palm frenetically, and he has an ample view of your closed off face in the chair opposite. He can pin the moment he knows you're in pain down to the minute twitch of your lip. 

He peeks at Morgan where he lays on the couch before leaning across the table to touch your arm. The jet offers little privacy, so Aaron tries to be delicate. 

“L/N? Are you alright?” 

“Mm,” you hum, too high-pitched to have come out the way you meant it. 

“What's wrong?” 

“Nothing.” You say this, and yet you can't open your eyes, leaning less than subtly away from him as though your pain is catching.

Aaron keeps his head down as he stands so as not to attract attention. You've sat near the wall, leaving an empty seat for him to sit in. “Hey,” he says, touching the crook of your elbow, wanting to fix it, soothe the twitch from your hand, “you're in pain.” 

“It's nothing.” 

“Saying it won't necessarily make it true,” he says. 

“It felt worth trying.” 

He is genuinely perturbed to see you in pain like this without explanation. “You have to tell me what's wrong.” 

“Hotch, I…” you say, your voice wrought with embarrassment as you open your eyes, “it's just my stomach hurts. That's all.” 

“Sharp pains?” 

“Just hurts. Nothing dire.” 

“How do you know?” he asks. 

“Happens sometimes.” 

He puts his arm around you, careful not to jostle your back. You're tense as a rubber band about to snap. It's unlike you to be the more rigid of the two of you, less foreign for Hotch to have softened, especially when it's you. “How often?” he asks, wary of the tears brimming like silver at the corners of your eyes. 

“Just sometimes, I don't know.” You speak in a concise, panicked tenor. 

In this line of work, it could be anything. Not eating enough, not having time to stop for breath. You could be thirsty, sick, anxious, stressed into pain. It could be purely psychosomatic or you could be injured. He can't remember you taking any blows during the last few days away. It could be your period. You might not want to mention that. 

“Y/N,” he says, falling out of boss mode now he's sure it's not going to kill you, and into someone who cares for you, “what can I do?” 

You shudder a breath, slouched under his touch. “It's not that bad.” 

It's clearly a shocking amount of pain. Your shuddering worsens as he pulls you into his side. He's prepared to sit with you until you can give him better instructions, or until the pain passes, or, God forbid, things get worse. “I'm here,” he says, rubbing your arm gently. “Try to breathe.” 

He's wondering why you might think this amount of pain is normal, or acceptable. Wondering why he shouldn't just call for medical assistance here and now, but then you start to come around, your face shining with perspiration. “Oh,” you sigh, wiping your face with your sleeve, leaning into your hand, hiding. 

“Is it getting better?” he asks. 

“I think it's anxiety or something.” Your breath slips out in disjointed huffs. 

He can't guess what it is. Have you been to the doctor? he wants to ask, but perhaps in a moment, when you're steady in yourself again. “From the jet?” 

“No. Maybe.” You frown. 

“Jack doesn't understand that I'm on a plane.” 

You lift your gaze in confusion. Aaron moves onwards.

“He doesn't understand that this is a plane. I brought him by, once, to try to explain why I can't always answer the phone. It's thick metal, you know?” It was an easier explanation than having no signal in the sky. “But he didn't get that it was something that could move. I had to take him to the airport. We watched…” He slows as your eyes meet his completely. “We watched them take off for hours. Now he doesn't get so angry when I don't answer.” 

“Jack was angry?” you ask, half incredulous. 

“A bit.” He tries to string the story together before you can realise what it is he's doing, his arm curling around your from behind, fingers making the most tenuous of circles into the very side of your stomach. A barely there sort of comfort. “It's not like him. He reminds me of his mom when he's angry.” 

Your smile is a physical relief to see. “Does he have tantrums?” 

“Doesn't every kid?” 

You talk about Jack in dulcet tones while he tries to keep the pain at bay, his arm steadfast behind you, your faces closer than they have any platonic business being. He'll pester you into doctors appointments when you touch down, but for now, he just holds you and talks to you like everything is normal. 

You cover his hand with yours when the pain starts anew, talking through it, pain in the soft line of your bottom lip. 

“Am I hurting you?” he asks. You give him a weak smile. He feels awful, but it makes his heart race. So close, and so pretty, and so upset. “Is there anything I can do?” 

An embarrassing amount of weight lies in ‘anything’. You shake your head, whispering, “Nothing. This is enough.” 

Aaron pulls you in closer and wraps both of his arms around you, hiding you from the others, an aimless attempt to protect you from a pain he can't touch. Someone puts a cup of tea on the table for you, but otherwise you're left alone for the rest of the flight. 

[goldenwilliamson]

patience | leah williamson

pairing: leah williamson x reader

a/n: finally some smut on this blog, hoorah. some short fluffy smut bc leah looked way too good in that suit and i'm craving someone to strap me down rn, so here we go...

summary: SMUT 18+, reader is waiting at home while leah is at an award show, but she is watching on tv and sees how good leah looks and gets rather impatient. when leah gets home she makes it worth the wait. top!leah and strap ons.

word count: 1.8k

You watched the TV in awe when you saw your girlfriend step into view of the camera for the first time. She'd showed off her suit to you on its hanger months ago, but seeing her wearing it was a different experience entirely. She had paired it with a tie, which was new, and it was working for you.

As soon as you caught a glimpse of her, your impatience kicked in. You sent her a text immediately telling her how good she looks and how as much as you love the suit, you can't wait to take it off her as soon as she arrives home.

It was interesting for you, being Leah's girlfriend. Even though you were a well-known footballer in your own right, Leah was England captain, and was invited to many events all over the UK for her service to the Lionesses.

While you and Leah don't keep your relationship a secret, you're certainly very private when it comes to sharing your lives together. The two of you will walk a carpet together at events which you're both invited to, but you would prefer to let Leah do her own thing at events which she has been invited to on her own. Opting out of being the plus one means that you are often left to watch on from the sidelines, which you do with no complaints.

The fans are very attentive when it comes to analysing photo dumps on yours and Leah's instagrams, looking at each post closely for signs that you two were still together. You'd been together for years now, but people were always speculating about your relationship status, especially since Leah had become so well-known after the Euros.

Tonight was one of those nights where Leah was doing her own thing, invited to attend the award night for the BBC Sports Personality of the Year. You watched on the whole night and cheered for Mary when she won, knowing she was so deserving of an award like this. By the time the night was drawing to an end, you were starting to get tired, but Leah called you from the car on her way home which energised you.

'You're still awake for me?' She asked, her voice coming through deep and rough as she murmured through the phone.

'I am now,' you say, but Leah can hear the exhaustion in your voice.

'Mm,' Leah hums, 'I'll be home soon, but if you're tired you can go to sleep baby.'

'No,' you say immediately, pushing yourself to sit upright in your bed, 'I need to see you.'

Leah chuckles, making you smile, 'Good, because since you messaged earlier I haven't stopped thinking about what I'm going to do to you when I see you.'

'God,' you groan, already feeling the wetness pooling between your legs, 'How long will you be?'

'Only about 15 minutes, be patient for me love,' she says.

'Okay, I'll see you soon,' you say before exchanging quick love you's and hanging up.

It's an agonising 15 minutes to have to wait for your girlfriend to arrive home. You decide to make do with the time and slip your baby blue coloured lingerie set on that you know Leah loves, then you crawl back into the sheets and sit on your phone as you wait.

You can hear Leah's keys in the front door and her purposeful steps as she moves through the house, quickly towards your bedroom. You move so that you're laying on your side on top of the sheets, propped up on your elbow.

When Leah steps into the doorway, meeting your eyes with a smile, you shake your head. You can't believe how sexy she looks, how assertive and dominant this suit makes her appear. Even though you both have a dominant side, you can already sense that tonight you will do whatever Leah asks you to.

She has you stepping out of bed and reaching for her the second she enters the room.

'Sorry to keep you waiting,' Leah says quickly before you pull her close by the knot of her tie and press your lips against hers. She responds right away, holding you close by the back of your head and letting her other hand fall firmly on your waist, pushing you back towards the bed.

When the back of your legs hit the mattress you sit down, spreading your legs wide so Leah can stand between them. Your fingers find the buttons of her blazer, unbuttoning it. Leah shrugs it off her shoulders and lets the fabric fall to the floor.

You take in the sight before you, just Leah in some trousers, a white button up, and a tie.

'God, you look so good Lee,' you tell her, kissing her fabric covered stomach.

'Do you like the tie?' She asks, and you immediately take it with both hands, running it through your fingers.

'I love it. It's good for this,' you tug on it lightly, bringing Leah's face down towards you. She takes the opportunity to plant kisses down the side of your neck, and across your shoulder.

While Leah is still standing, you reach for her waistband, unbuttoning her trousers so they also fall to the floor, allowing her to step out of them. She's left in her top and tie as you wriggle back on the mattress, giving Leah room to join you on the bed.

However, instead of following you, Leah makes a move toward your wardrobe on the other side of the room.

'Where you going?' You ask, already knowing the answer.

'Gonna get something,' Leah says simply, and you know that she is going to get one of your toys out of the dresser.

'What are you thinking?' You ask curiously, but Leah doesn't respond. You just lay back on the mattress as you listen to her rifling through the drawer to find what she's looking for.

When you hear her moving around some more, you look up and see she is pulling on her strap. She has also removed the shirt and tie so she is just standing there wearing nothing but her bra and the strap. The air feels thick and your heart beats loudly in your ears. You can't think of much else at this stage besides how much you want to have Leah inside of you.

'Is this what you want darling?' She asks, sliding her hand up and down the length of the dildo as she steps closer to the bed.

You nod like an idiot, 'Yes.'

While a devilish smirk, she crawls up the mattress until she's hovering over you, leaning down to kiss you again. You hold onto her lower back, pulling her lower body close to you as you roll your hips upwards, begging for contact.

Leah leans close to your ear, biting down lightly on your earlobe before whispering, 'You want me to fuck you then?'

'God, please, yes,' you say, grabbing at the dildo and trying to steer it in the right direction.

'Take these off first,' Leah pulls back, releasing your grip and moving to slip your underwear down your legs.

When she moves closer again she dives her head down between your legs, kissing you around your entrance, and then finally pressing one kiss firmly against your clit, making you moan.

'Need you,' you groan.

'Mm,' Leah moans at the sound of your desperation, 'You've been such a good patient girl, waiting all night for me.'

As she says this, she runs the tip of the dick through your folds, listening to how wet you are.

'Too long,' you say, not wanting to wait a moment longer.

'I know, baby, but I'm here now,' she says, as she begins to press down into you.

As Leah rolls her hips deeper, your eyes squeeze shut while your mouth falls open, moaning in pleasure.

'Look at me,' she tells you, and you open your eyes to see her focused face.

You reach your hand up to where her eyebrows are firmly drawn together, and you run your thumb gently over the creases between her brow, giving her permission to relax into the moment.

'Serious face,' you say affectionately.

'Shhh,' she quiets your teasing with a kiss, moving her lips against yours rhythmically as she begins to slowly thrust into you.

Moans and words of affirmation roll off your tongue, and Leah relishes in the sound, wanting nothing more than to make you come.

She adopts the perfect pace and finds the right spot with ease, each thrust making you slip closer to your orgasm.

'You're such a good girl, taking it so well,' Leah praises you, turning you on even more.

'Feels so good,' you say, struggling to find any other words to say.

Leah continues her movements, not stopping for a second. Her eyes are trained on you, watching how you get lost in the feeling of pleasure taking over your entire body.

'Slow down,' you ask, knowing that some long, deep thrusts will get you to the edge.

Leah does as you ask, re-positioning herself so her forearm is digging into the mattress, propping her up. She uses her other arm to wrap around your thigh and open your legs wider, allowing her to sink deeper into you.

'Fuck!' You moan loudly.

'Are you going to come for me like this?' Leah asks.

'Yes,' you say, your head rolling back on the pillow as your hands grip tightly around Leah's torso, assisting her movement.

'My pretty girl, want to watch how you come on my cock,' Leah says, her words driving you closer to your high.

'Lee,' you moan, voice breathy, 'I'm so close.'

'Good girl, come for me now darling,' Leah says, and this time her words tip you over the edge.

Your back arches and the waves of pleasure roll over you as Leah continues to gently thrust into you, letting you ride out your full orgasm.

'Oh my god,' you sigh, opening your eyes to see Leah watching you with pure adoration. Slowly once your breathing has settled, she pulls out of you and sits back, taking the strap off her legs and discarding it to the floor.

'You're amazing,' you tell her, as she moves to lay herself down next to you, wrapping her arms around you and guiding your head to rest on her chest.

'I'm glad you think so,' she says, making you smile, pulling you slightly out of your dazed demeanour.

You exhale contentedly as Leah runs her hand up and down your arm thats slung over her body.

'So tired,' you say sleepily, your eyelids heavy.

'I bet you are,' she smiles proudly, 'You can go to sleep now baby.'

'Thanks for the good sex,' you say, your exhausted post-orgasm brain hardly even thinking through what you're saying, making Leah giggle.

She kisses your forehead and moves herself into a more comfortable position before she assures you, 'Anytime'.

[kairiscorner]

HII, can I request something? I remember you said something about your headcanon that Noir can play guitar. Imagine, he plays the chords of Glue song while his s/o sings and then later he sings his part then DUET

OOOOOOOO CUTEEEE !! tbh i just discovered that song now bc of you, thank you anon for the exposure to beabadoobee 🫶🫶🫶 THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE THOUGH LIKE....... (also reader will be the text in yellow ! and both of you singing is the text in purple !!)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

peter had taken out the guitar he had when he was younger, it looked a bit old and aged, a little worn out, but it still sounded right. you were busy reading, or pretending to read at least, when peter came into the living room, bringing the aged chordophone out to see the light of day. you smiled in awe at the guitar, recognizing what it was, reminiscing silently to yourself all the memories you two created with that guitar constantly popping up in mind.

peter smiled as he saw your awestruck smile at the sight of it, reliving the sweet, nostalgic memories between you two. wordlessly, he sat down on the sofa next to you, strumming to see how well it could still play. "it's a miracle it still sounds lovely." he said with a grin as you chuckled. "it sounds just like when we were younger, when you were still way too shy to look me in the eye." you teased as peter smiled wider, blushing a bright pink and red all over his face. "well, let's see if the guitarist can look his beloved in the eye while playing. i haven't been able to do that for... a long while now, really." he said with a chuckle as you nodded in agreement with his statement.

peter soon played the chords of a song you both liked, though he sounded a little rusty at first, he kept playing the chords and strumming the strings until he got just the right tune. he soon carried the melodious tune going, with you swaying along to the song's beat and rhythm. you soon found yourself humming along, then as you gazed into peter's eyes, you found the courage to sing the lyrics in a soft voice.

"i've never known someone like you. tangled in love, stuck by you from the glue." you sang as you gazed at peter's fingers, strumming away, and soon, gazing up at him, catching him staring at you all flustered when you caught his gaze. "don't forget to kiss me," you sang as you leaned closer to him. "kiss me," he backed up as you placed a hand on his cheek, pulling him close to your lips. "or else you'll have to miss me," you sang, pulling away from him as he sighed, still smiling as he backed you up. "miss me,"

"i guess i'm stuck forever by the glue." you sang as you stared into his eyes with a flustered smile.

peter smiled and lightly chuckled as his fingers almost slipped up when he watched you sing, though even when he messed up, you never made fun of him for it, or stopped singing to make light of his slip up, and he loved you dearly for that.

"you've been hiding in plain sight..." he sang as he looked at you, leaving his gaze on you lingering for a little while longer. "then appeared," he inched closer to you, tickling you with his breath on your cheek as you giggled. "loving you once only feels wrong, i need years. i always knew i'd find you... to be here is worth the wait, too." his voice became a little softer as he sang. "i'm not lyin' when i say i've been stuck," "i've been stuck," "by the glue onto you."

"i've been stuck by glue, right onto you, i've been stuck by glue..." as you two sang in harmony, relishing this moment in time, where everything feels like it's all in its right place at the right time... you really felt like all those moments of telling him you loved him, him repeating to you how he's loved nobody else like how he loves you, all the corny jokes you two tell each other, the times when you two have cold arguments and warm hugs, the time spent with you two in each others' embrace as you dance to the slow songs playing late at night on the radio... it feels perfect, it feels right, it feels not just like, it is love.

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @sabcandoit @binibinileonara @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @k4tsu3 @maxoloqy @thee-fantastic-mrfox @arachnoia @ophanimgold @fictarian @yuridopted0

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Also shorter ones today… mostly related to our previous replies and posts!

Anonymous asked:

After seeing Eel Floyd with Riddle

AND THOSE BITE MARKS 👀👀👀👀

I gotta know -

Did Floyd slip and slide in Riddle?

Or

Also

Did Riddle magically goldfish form and the two had merman sex???

Honestly I wasn’t thinking about Riddle also becoming a merman, but they absolutely have to have merman sex at some point, otherwise it just isn’t fair (to me) lol

And to answer your first question, yes, there might have been some slipping and sliding in Riddle involved~

Anonymous asked:

re: the gaslighting Jade ask. I randomly stumbled on your blog from other ones, and I literally blocked you because shroudcest triggers me. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own safety. As long as it’s properly marked for (which yours clearly is since I blocked you the second I made a tumblr), really all we can do is filter the things that hurt us out.

(im agreeing with you btw. draw what you want i cant stop you. just feel like i in particular make a point worth mentioning from seeing that. you can answer this or not bc obviously i probably wont see it anyway)

Anon! Whether you see this reply or not, thank you very much for writing this despite having us blocked lol

You really are making a good point, and I am glad that you are taking care of yourself and avoiding uncomfortable stuff. I really encourage it. Thank you for understanding and for approaching this issue with respect.

Have a good day.

Anonymous asked:

Gaslighting IS Jade’s love language. Also mushrooms.

Facts, Anon <3 He doesn’t waste his gaslighting and mushrooms on those he doesn’t find entertaining love!

Anonymous asked:

Honestly I can totally see Cater as the kind of guy that now and then buys a random manga just because the cover looks aesthetically pleasing, although if they are BL they are probably more oriented towards shonen-ai than explicit content. But also he wouldn't really read them because he finds the stories and characters a bit ridiculous (is he a bitter anti-romantic? or maybe his sisters used to collect shojo manga and he associates the love story genre with them?). I bet when he had roommates he had fun leaving one of his manga lying around, just to see people's reaction and go "aw, shoot, you saw it? that's sooo embarassing..." or something like that

To be honest, I can see that too. Cater seems like someone who isn’t all that into anime and manga, but is aware of it enough to recognise that the cover is pretty and that there is something gay inside (he might figure out the latter thing later as he looks inside the book lol). His sisters really could be into it though, so I can see him having certain associations.

lol Cater’s roommates “finding” his manga though… Don’t act so coy, Cater 😭

Anonymous asked:

Goddammit! Idia, you cannot escape me for long, one way or another, your chest will be licked! *shakes fist at the sky*

I love how this is turning into a Looney Tunes cartoon…

Anonymous asked:

Idia doesn’t have nipples. He accidentally shaved them off. Tragic 😔 L in the chat for his nipples.

Damn. I’m afraid I have bad news for the previous Anon.

Anonymous asked:

Do you have any HCs for Neige and/or Chenya?

We do have HCs about Neige/Vil and Chenya/Riddle (1,2)!

Anonymous asked:

It is I, 🐩 anon,

So I got a friend into twst and tell me why her favorite character is goddamn Crowley? I'm currently trying to convert her to Divus supremacy. Enough about this. Let me ask my silly little question.

Is there anything about TWST's story plot that you dislike or wished it was worked on more? Or character you wish were more fleshed out? 

Your friend has quite the taste… She is probably a genius of sorts 😔🙏

I feel like I was pretty vocal about it, so I am sorry for talking about it again, but I really didn’t enjoy how Ch2 was handled and Leona in general, to be honest. I wrote a post about my grievances a whole year ago, but my stance didn’t really change. We’ve rewatched the majority of the main story since then, and I thought that maybe with fresh minds and fresh eyes we would enjoy Leona at least to some degree, but unfortunately it didn’t really help. The events don’t really help either…

There might be some other things, but this is the one I think about every time when we talk about the flaws of TWST writing.

Anonymous asked:

what is your notp?

A bunch of Leona ships come to mind, i.e. Leona/Malleus, Leona/Vil, Leona/Idia 🤔 But also a bunch of Trey ships, like Trey/Jade or Rook/Trey…

Anonymous asked:

if you had to go on a date with one of the twst boys who are you picking? i'm picking idia

Idia is a great option, Anon; he would be so uncomfortable and awkward, getting nervous about the smallest inconveniences and whispering “thank god” every time you don’t force him to do something… I would pick him to, but my second option would be Jamil. I think he’s pretty chill.

Katsu would've picked Jade because of course, this is the best pick.

Anonymous asked:

any old fandoms that you feel out of love with?

Can’t think of any, Anon… I feel like we never fall completely out of love with anything, just move on, but there is always an opportunity that we’ll come back at some point. Things like Homestuck are still on our minds constantly lol

There are some titles that we kind of started watching, but then stopped because it wasn’t fully out yet, and since then we kind of lost interest for this thing. And with some of these titles it’s very unlikely that we’ll ever go back, but it’s never 1000% impossible. But then again, it’s not like we loved these titles…

Anonymous asked:

Funfact: The crowley that crowley is named after used to perform sex based magic with men

Damn I hope this is what our Crowley also does. This is his dark secret that is very poorly hidden

Anonymous asked:

I think Riddle would be a really good teacher's pet

Oh he would <3 He is a teacher’s pet.

Ironically, I feel like this makes him a bit boring for Crewel…although it depends…🤔

Anonymous asked:

What is a ship you rarely draw but you love

I don’t draw any of them enough, I love them all! Waaaaah :(

I feel like I don’t draw Sebek/Silver nearly enough for how much we love them, Rook/Epel is also a rare one but we love it, Sebek/Idia could use more love, anything with Jamil too…

Anonymous asked:

Please share with us a full list of the preference of the TWST boys? Top or bottom? I typed up a list for you to use!

Anon, we have a list in our pinned post! But since you’ve typed up a list, I’ll go through the list again :) We also have a post in which we explain our reasoning for each choice, so you can read it too if you’re interested.

Oh! And if you meant some other types of preferences, please let me know. In that case though, we have a list of the boys’ kinks, which isn’t the same thing, but pretty close; so you can read this one too if you want <3

Riddle – bottom

Ace – top

Deuce – bottom

Trey – top

Cater – top

Leona – bottom

Ruggie – top

Jack  - top

Azul – top

Floyd – top

Jade – top

Kalim – top

Jamil – bottom

Vil – bottom

Rook – top

Epel – bottom

Idia – bottom

Ortho  – top

Malleus– bottom

Sebek  – top

Lilia  – top

Silver– bottom

[moonbeam-dragon]

TRFB Incorrect Quotes

This is just a compilation of Heatwave x Chase x Boulder x Blades quotes. Just a warning that mist of these are dirty jokes bc I left the filter on those whoops-

<>

Blades: I like your top, Chase! Heatwave: I have a name, you know. Chase: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

<>

Blades: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

<>

Boulder: How do you tell someone that you wanna have s3x with them in a polite way

Chase: Excuse me sir. Would you give me the honours of indulging in s3xual activities with you?

Heatwave: What the f*ck is wrong with you two?

<>

Heatwave: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Chase: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

<>

Chase: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff and got distracted.

Boulder: I'm stuff!

Blades: I'm got distracted!

Heatwave: We had s3x.

<>

Boulder: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Chase: I sleep with a gun.

Blades: Both of you are pathetic.

Boulder: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Blades: Heatwave.

<>

Blades: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

<>

Blades: Do you ever think? Because I don’t.

<>

Chase: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Blades: What- how?

Chase: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

<>

Heatwave: Life is like Boulder. It's short.

<>

Chase: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Boulder: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Chase: Seize the d!ck.

<>

Boulder: I feel like doing something stupid.

Blades: I’m stupid, do me.

<>

Boulder: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Blades: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Boulder:

Blades: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Heatwave: We know what you meant.

<>

Heatwave: *writing a letter*

Heatwave: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty... And it was worth it you fat, judgemental b@stard.

<>

Heatwave: Talk dirty to me~

Chase: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

Heatwave: Wha-

Chase: The economy is in shambles.

<>

Blades: What are you in the mood for?

Heatwave: World domination.

Blades: That's a bit ambitious.

Heatwave: You are my world.

Blades: Aww...

Heatwave: 😏

Blades: ☺️

Heatwave: 😏

Blades: OH. 😳

<>

Blades: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Blurr way.

Chase: Isn't that the wrong way?

Blades: Yes, but it's faster.

<>

Heatwave: That's ridiculous, Blades doesn't have a crush on me.

Boulder: Yes they do.

Chase: Yes they do.

Blades: Yes I do.

[lnc2]

i know this won't sound like a revelation and i mean maybe it's not because of course i've known i've been living it but like

pet death is so fucking painful and real and constant

like losing rory was like losing a part of myself and even when i was at my worst (hospitalized) i still felt guilty for being so distraught and even though it's been nearly six years this december i'm still so easily triggered and can be set off if i'm not expecting certain reminders or anniversaries and like

yeah a bunch of other things happened around that time and the way it happened really cemented the Trauma and deeply embedded it into my body but i don't cry for my pets from childhood the way i do for rory

and i think about losing toby and i just... can't handle it?

and i've finally accepted or believe even though i've always Known it's because they're with me always. like your pets, especially the ones that are v present and interact w you in a v real way and are so smart and have their own personalities, they're yours, they're your kid, they're your best friend

i don't spend time with anyone the way i spend time w my dogs. i told/tell them everything, i schedule my days around them.

good morning toby, how's my boy, are you hungry, did you sleep well? i have a doctor's appt today, i'm anxious about this, can i have a hug? do you want to go to the park? let's watch a movie, i have to go out of town but i love you, are you feeling okay? do i need to take you to the vet? am i just being crazy? is this my trauma or my instincts telling me you're sick?

every year with him is one more year without her and one more year closer to being without him and just

i grieved rory the week she died before the accident even happened just sobbing like i'd lost her even though i had no reason to and didn't even know why i was crying and then i lost her bc no one believed me when i said she was sick and i didn't advocate or fight hard enough for her until it was too late.

so now toby slips when trying to jump on the sofa or sighs too much or his nose is runny or whatever and i'm on the verge of a panic attack and calling my mom to make sure i'm not being crazy before i schedule an emergency vet appt and just how do i know what's my trauma and what's my instincts? i don't know when to trust myself anymore all while knowing i can only trust myself.

i'm neurotic about his health, his environment, who he's with. if i can't have him in a place i can 100% control and guarantee is safe then i want him with people i know will take his safety as seriously as i do because they know if something happens to him i will lose it, catastrophically, wholly, entirely.

there are ways rory is still with me that are good and then there are ways that are very much... not.

idk if it's just because it was her and the how and when of it all but the end result was just complete and total devastation of my entire world. and i know it will be the same with him so even though he's happy and (hopefully please god hopefully) healthy i spend most of my time worrying that i'm not doing enough even though all he wants to do is to lay at my feet and play tug of war.

maybe it's bc i live alone, but idts i was crazy about her even when we lived w roommates, and i know i'd be the same with toby and i don't even know if i could trust someone to live with us anyways because would they see all the potential disasters as naturally as i do and make sure nothing happens? would they care like i do?

idk. rory's birthday was this past week and i was so exhausted from wedding stuff i don't think i was feeling any of it consciously but i'm feeling it tonight bc anniversaries are really hard even the happy ones, even so many years later.

everything with rory was a fight and a challenge (so so worth it, i've never connected w anyone spiritually like i did with that damn dog) and toby for all his size and sometimes annoyingness and for all that i resisted loving him the first year i had him is mostly so easy even when you think he shouldn't be. idk what it says about either of them but i think the universe sent him to me because they knew i needed a hardy dog, one that was sturdy even though he is a giant baby, and one that would take my anxiety and just let it roll off of him because everything after that left me so so fragile.

i'm sad she would have been eight. i'm said she never saw three. toby is five and will be six. numbers like these play through my head always. i've had him longer than i had her and yet and yet and yet

i keep telling myself i shouldn't still be crying this many years gone but it feels so new and so now whenever i think of her so i try not to think of her (my therapist says it's PTSD) but then i only remember the bad and not the many, many good.

it's okay i'm still sad, or something stronger than that. i love her and that's good and it's okay to cry. toby is taking care of me and i'm taking care of him and hopefully in many many many years they'll take care of each other.

i just needed to get this out, somewhere, i know it's disjointed and doesn't have a point but so are my feelings and i just wanted to acknowledge them even if it was only to myself

[berrymeter]

ill do a little write up of the concert below. for me. and anyone who reads it. for reference i don't know anything about any of these people beside sik-k & rome if u think i am being too kind to someone i probably am. unless u think i am being too kind to rome. fuck u

so i didnt know what to expect for the start of the concert bc ive never had a proper dj experience before but howmini's set was great. i had a really good time aside from the one jungkook song slipping in. she included a french rap song which i think surprised everyone in the venue but it was suchhh a throwback everyone LOVED this song when it came out so the venue was fired up. lots of flashing lights though. the bass was also so strong it felt like it was suffocating me at times but maybe i'm just sensitive. very good experience

i had... negative expectations for lil cherry because my friend & i tried to check out her & goldbuuda's music before the concert & um. 💀 it wasn't. good. but anyway their energy on stage is infectious enough that it was fine actually. & lil cherry sounds a lot better live lmao. without all the autotune. god autotune can be used well but it is no surprise to me that they don't use it well. seems like they're having fun which i suppose is the most important part. worth noting goldbuuda was wearing a skirt which was a great actual first impression

no way around it, be'o set was fucking awesome?? aside from the obvious i would say that was my favourite. i don't have a lot to add i just really enjoyed the music

by that point though my brain was melting & ash island decided to play the slowest fucking songs known to man. i was so sick of it instantly & was close to passing out. in a concert venue. had like 3 songs i kinda liked but mostly i was begging internally for his part to end. with 4 hours of sleep i was Not doing great there lmao

then was sik-k. as expected the crowd was loud as fuck so i partook in that too lmao. (i had yelled everytime others had yelled prior to that except for ash island i was sick of it. so sick of it. i only yelled like. 5 times. very quietly) it was a good time!! it felt like a party and everyone knew the lyrics. he had a hat on. i don't know if i would say what he has is stage presence but he certainly commands the crowd in an impressive way. no this is stage presence. he's here & everyone goes wild. it was awesome.

now. rome.

i came in with a few preconceptions. first. it was a concert full of rappers. rome is not a rapper so what now. second. if i remember correctly when indi went to see dpr the crowd was silent during rome's songs. the result of this was that i was terrified the people that were here for him had bought tickets straight to the man's abs (in their wishes at least he did not take his shirt off) & everyone else was just here for sik-k & by extension the rest of the rappers. (i would not expect anyone to come to that concert for howmini i'm sorry howmini.)

I Was Wrong And Delighted. This Audience Sure Was Singing

his set was the best and by far. i understand why they kept him for last aside from not wanting people to leave after he was done. he's not a rapper but he's a dancer an actor a narrator a performer. he ended this beautifully. opened with mito then rolled into so beautiful before speaking to the crowd. he's charismatic & corny & somehow the corny makes him more charismatic. he called us "good sport" & i was exploding him with my mind. the way he introduced each song was, yes, corny but he makes corny so endearing & real. but yeah next he played calico bc he's a show off & really wanted to remind us he's good with a bass. and yeah he is good with a bass. iirc next was 1 shot, or maybe before calico actually??? head's all fuzzy but i know he performed both & goddd 1 shot was so fun!!! the choreography the lights! all of it's perfect!

after that i'm pretty sure it was bad cold. and god. the performance. i wish i remembered more of it but what i can tell you for sure is that it was so fucking good. it ended with all the dancers and him shivering, then him leaning over to one of the dancers & going "it's a bit cold isn't it" which. looks at the wall. anyway don't go insane was next & THAT choreo i remember very clearly bc it reminded me of thriller. and it was, of course, fucking fantastic. he is so fucking good at what he does. i'm going to frow up. anyway this was all mindblowing

next dope lovers. it is so good live. it's not one of my favourites off of mito but god was it fucking good. i feel that way about calico too i'm definitely a mood fan but yeah. live performances elevate so many songs & i'm glad i got to enjoy calico & dope lovers more thanks to that.

it was a pretty short set all things considered bc there were already only two songs left but i FEASTED. it makes sense that it was these two songs but i was so fucking happy. nerves! of course nerves! you can imagine the state i was in. (not crying) (it was similar to destroya at the mcr concert) (i screamed the lyrics at the top of my lungs & broke my voice a decent amount) (i cried more than enough to this song already but i probably will again some time)

and the last song was of course ballroom. and the crowd goes WILD!!!!!!!! i'm surprised i didn't cry but i might've been too tired to cry lmao. i haven't slept yet of course. but it was such an experience. and. sigh. i know he is a performer it's his job to be appealing & pleasant but he presents himself as so kind. & i mean i've seen him at pretty low lows whether i like it or not so it's hard to not believe him. kinda feels like he bares his soul to people very easily (that's not a good thing in his case but regardless). & he's just so nice. & it was just such a good way to end the concert. i was annoyed he was last bc i knew i would be exhausted but in the end that was the best possible way for things to go. i'm very happy & fulfilled.

dabin should've been there instead of ash island tho. no hate hes just not dabin

[sanguineterrain]

prompt: the first time you use a pet name on steve :) (he actually really likes it. it makes him feel all special and loved and admired) - lavvvvv 💌

everybody say hello to my beloved. say "hello lav!" good, good.

steve harrington x gn!reader. smidge of angst (bc it's me) but major fluff!

****

"Baby, can you try this?"

You've hardly hung your coat before Steve's in front of you with a wooden spoon full of sauce. He puts it to your lips.

"Taste, honey," he encourages. "Wanna make sure I'm not gonna kill the kids."

"I don't think you're gonna kill them with spaghetti, Steve."

Nevertheless, you bump your lips to the spoon and lick the sauce off your mouth. You smile, nodding.

"Yeah?" he asks.

"Yeah," you confirm. "First a babysitter, now a chef. Aren't I lucky."

Steve throws a grin like spun gold over his shoulder.

"Flatterer," he says, but his ears are red. "How was work?"

"Good. Not too busy."

"Everybody was nice?" he checks.

You laugh. "Yes, Steve. Everybody was nice. You don't have to crack any skulls this time."

"I have no problem doing so," he says in a tone you can't tell is joking or not. "Nobody should be giving my sweetheart a hard time."

Sweetheart. The first thing you learned while dating Steve Harrington is that he loves giving pet names. Nothing compares to the way he softens and bestows the most affectionate monikers known to man.

And what do you call him in return? Steve. Just Steve.

It's pathetic is what it is. Steve's effortless in his endearments and you refer to him like a co-worker.

"Honey?"

Steve waves a hand in front of you.

"Hmm? Sorry. What were you saying?"

His gentle smile returns.

"I was asking if you could set the table? Think this is almost done."

"Oh! Sure, yeah."

You grab the foliage-themed placemats (Steve's purchase, not yours) and head to the dining table. You don't know exactly what the reason for tonight's dinner is, but Steve loves company and cooking, and it's entirely possible he's doing this just because.

"Robin'll be here soon. Eddie's stopping by too, can you believe? I think he's bringing Dustin, who'll probably wolf down everything in three seconds and ditch us for the arcade. Kid's gotta learn some manners."

"And you wonder why you're the designated mom of the group," you giggle.

Steve rolls his eyes, but you know he's not upset. He likes being someone the kids can rely on. Somebody special.

The reminder of how Steve is nicknameless in your presence returns. He's lovely flittering about in the kitchen, at home for once in his house. You have the urge to push his hair behind his ear so you can see more of his jawline. Steve's a mix of strong and delicate features. Royally handsome. You've always thought so.

"Look at these," Steve says, holding up a pair of tomatoes. "Thought I wouldn't find any this late in the year but the good stuff was downtown. Kinda expensive, though. But they taste amazing, so I think it's worth it, y'know?"

You lean in, overwhelmed by your affection.

"Well, all the credit shouldn't go to them." Here you go. "You make anything taste good, my prince."

You wait for Steve to glow, maybe turn a little shy. It doesn't come. Instead, he stiffens. Your smile slips.

"Steve?" you try.

He turns off the stove. You shift antsily.

"Steve, did you hear? I said—"

"Your prince," he finishes. "Yeah, I heard you. I get it. I'm so removed from reality that I'll go downtown for good tomatoes. 'Cause I'm the trust fund kid. I got it."

"What? N-no, no, no! Oh my God, Steve."

You get up. Steve's already curling in on himself, trying to self-soothe and bury his hurt. You tug him away from the stove and cup his face with your hands.

"That's not what I meant, Steve. I would never make that joke. I'm sorry, I just wanted to call you a name!"

That makes him tilt his head, hurt slipping into confusion.

"Call me a name?"

"Yeah, like... like baby or sweetheart. All the nice names you give me. Except I wanted to give you a special name 'cause you always give me special names. And I chose prince because you're so handsome."

Steve's eyes widen. "Oh."

You nod rapidly.

"Yeah, handsome like a prince! I wish I could paint you. I'd paint you like those Renaissance masters. They'd love to have painted you, y'know? 'Cause you've got the nice jaw."

You trace his chin with one finger. Steve's gaze is indecipherable, so you keep talking.

"And you've also got those big, pretty eyes. You're this perfect mix of soft and strong, you know? You've got features that are really beautiful to look at, like your lips and nose. So I settled on prince, and you're my prince, and—"

"Y/N."

You cringe.

"Yeah?"

Steve tilts your face to his and kisses you sweetly. You relax into his embrace, humming. He pulls back first, brushing your cheek with a knuckle.

"I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions," he says. "That's—Jesus, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received. Renaissance masters? How do you come up with this stuff? Totally blows my names out of the water."

You shake your head.

"No, it doesn't. I feel so warm when you call me those. And I just wanted to reciprocate."

"Baby, you do. Just by being you. You don't have to call me anything but Steve."

"I want to. I'll come up with a different one," you vow.

"No, no," he grins, nuzzling your cheek. "Keep it. I like being your prince."

[littlespoonevan]

(and this is a different conversation but the possibility of their love confession happening way before the first kiss????? i’m obsessed. also in that case i’d need buck to initiate it if eddie was the one to drop the ily but again that’s for a different post askjfhsaskdfj)

Hello I am here to be an enabler about this part bc you got me like 👀 🍿

askdjfhas i was hoping someone would ask me about this bc as soon as i pressed post i was like 'wait i care about this idea way more than i thought i did' lmao. blame this on me rewatching buck actually this afternoon and wanting them to get their romcom moment

okay so. alternative scenario. if we got a situation where eddie realises he's in love with buck in the s5 finale and the idea didn't actually scare him, i would kill for a love confession that completely takes buck by surprise

because right now i feel like buck won't even let himself consider the possibility that he might be in love with eddie. because it's always been there, y'know??? the feeling has existed inside him for so long he's never really thought to examine what it means beyond the general devotion he has to eddie and chris

so imagine a scenario where eddie finally feels confident enough to admit it. where he wants to tell buck because he needs buck to know. because he needs buck to understand his worth in eddie's life (and oh what a beautiful parallel that would be to the 4x14 hospital conversation) and buck is just. completely fucking bowled over. because he doesn't expect it????????? and he doesn't even know how to begin to process it because how could eddie - beautiful, wonderful, incredible eddie - look at buck and see that kind of love??? how could he see buck's fucking trainwreck of a love life and want to be a part of that???

and eddie's so fucking patient and soft (like i'm talking season 4 fond faces dialled up to 1000) and he squeezes buck's wrist and says, "i'm not expecting anything here. you can take your time deciding what this means to you. if it means anything at all."

and buck nods, dazed, because he loves eddie, of course he does, but he suddenly doesn't know in what way and he just- he needs to think and he can't do that with eddie watching him with those gentle eyes. so he leaves but he stops in eddie's doorway first, eyes wide and scared, and says, "i'm coming back. no matter what i- whatever i- i'm coming back, okay?"

and eddie smiles and nods and says, "i know, buck," in the exact same way he says "i know you did" in 4x05

and anyway buck leaves  has an absolute breakdown to maddie in the next episode because his head is a mess and maddie just sort of watches amusedly as buck paces back and forth across her living room rambling his way through every significant moment he and eddie have ever had since the moment they first met. and eventually when he pauses to take a breath maddie's just like. "evan, sweetie. it kind of sounds like you're in love with him."

to which buck stops dead in his tracks and says, "oh my god i love him. oh my god, maddie, i'm in love with him."

and he obviously doesn't stick around because he has to tell eddie!!!!!!

so he fucking runs back to the diaz house because he can't make eddie wait any longer and he's so frantic he can't even think about fitting his key in the lock so he just starts banging on the door and eddie opens it looking completely confused. and buck just lets out this breathless, "hi." and eddie laughs and says hi back.

"you told me you loved me."

eddie ducks his head, hides a tiny smile. "i remember."

"i didn't answer you."

and eddie isn't going to push him, isn't going to ask for something buck doesn't want to give him, but buck steps through the threshold and into eddie's space and suddenly they're nose to nose and eddie's hand slips off the door handle and finds purchase on buck's hip and buck meets eddie's gaze head on, eyes steadfast and so, so sure and says, "i'm in love with you too." and they kISS and they're smiling into each other's mouth and buck starts walking them backwards and eddie kicks the front door closed with his foot and they're home 😭

[zablife]

@peakyswritings Reb, I've taken my time with this chapter bc there was so much to take in, but I'm ready to unpack it all now...esp that ending!!

You've done an amazing job conveying Nina's mental state in the way she addresses both her parents, but esp her father. She would never have spoken to him this way before, confronting him about his own intentions. Even for someone as "rebellious" as Nina, it must be difficult to find that kind of courage, but I'm so proud of her for standing up for herself.

And by the time I got to her conversation with Vito, I was cheering! The exchange about her threatening him was so satisfying. She is 💯 over the bullshit and isn't afraid to say so. This is what happens when you push a woman too far!

However, I should have known that there would be an icky moment with Stefano she couldn't escape. My face dropped as I read about her shutting down the moment she's in his arms, trying to block it all out. I've never wanted to strangle him more than when he tells her, "I’ll teach you how to be good to me.” 😡 The implied threat of abuse turns my stomach.

It was even more difficult to bear when Tommy accuses her of wanting to marry that prick! (I adore her response about not mixing whisky with champagne bc he had to be drunk to say something like that!) His jealous desire is obvs and I worried it would part them further so I was pleasantly surprised when Nina confesses her lie instead.

There was a huge sigh of relief knowing they're finally being honest with one another again. (Tho I wonder if there was ever any hiding her true feelings. That clever line at the beginning about Tommy noticing how her eyes told a diff story than her words conveys their bond so well) And I have to applaud you for the build of sexual tension! There was a moment after Nina claims she's not worth starting a war over when I thought she'd walk away, but then Tommy kicks the door closed?!?! The drama of it was *chef's kiss*

Your writing is always stunning, but this bit in particular made me pause bc it's such a perfect metaphor for their current situation when nothing is certain and every moment spent together could be their last! "She was like water in his hands, she slipped through his fingers again and again, never letting him hold her, never letting him keep her." What a lovely, poetic description of the heartache and longing! Paired with that ending of her not wanting to let him go and crying not once but twice left me an emotional wreck!

Now I'm wondering what will happen when Tommy comes to her later? Will he have a plan of escape from this mess? I hope so!

Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC

PART XI

Summary: the situation complicates further as Tommy’s stay in Sicily nears its end. It’s time for conversations, and things that have been buried for too long are brought to the light.

Warnings: mentions of arranged marriage, slow-burn, small age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s), time-typical misogyny, references to past attempted assault, harassment, violence, angst, English is not my first language. This chapter is 18+, smut (I’m still not used to writing it but here we go). This is set between season 1 and 2.

Like in some previous chapters, some conversations are supposed to be in Italian but for obvious reasons I kept them in English.

A/N: sorry this is really long. I hope it makes up for the wait!

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

SERIES MASTERLIST

Dividers credits

Tommy’s proposal to Agnese had brought quite the hustle in the Ferrante’s property. A stream of relatives and friends had been coming to congratulate the new couple in the past few days, and people continuously came and went to make the arrangements for the wedding - or simply pry in the family business. And with the engagement party being held that night, it was impossible for Nina to step out of the house without bumping into some caterer or seamstress or, if she was particularly unlucky, some cantankerous old aunt who would stray away from her as if she were the Devil incarnated.

Her mood, which was already dark to begin with, had considerably worsened, forcing her to withdraw into isolation to avoid all possible conflict. She was easily irritated, she couldn’t stand her mother’s complaints, her father’s deceitfulness, her brothers’ haughtiness, and she couldn’t help herself from talking back or snapping when something bothered her. She could tell they were fed up with her insolence, that she was treading on thin ice, but she drew a twisted satisfaction from getting on their nerves. It was the only way she had to get back at them for the hell they were putting her through. Her role in the family, the impossibility of being something more than she was expected to be, the threat of a forced marriage with Stefano that was becoming less of a prospect and more of a certainty with each day that passed. And now that. Having to watch as the marriage between Tommy and Agnese took form, pretending with her cousin she was genuinely happy for her.

It was tearing her apart from the inside. At this point, Nina couldn’t wait for them to get married, so that Tommy would leave her house, her country, and set her free from the deep ache she felt every time he was near. It would be difficult, at first, but in time she’d forget about him, about the way he made her heart race, about how safe she felt in his arms.

“I’m going over to aunt Rita,” her mother hastily walked into the kitchen, holding a sewing box in her hands. “I’m helping her embroider the bedsheets for the trousseau.”

“Mhm.” Nina merely raised her eyes from the book she was pretending to read. Hearing about bedsheets and trousseaus was the last thing she needed in that moment, especially if it had to become yet another excuse to reproach her for not having the intention to get married anytime soon.

All of a sudden the book was soon snatched from her hands. When she raised her gaze, her mother was looking at her with a stern look on her face.

“Your friend has been invited to the party,” she said bitterly, as though the matter was somehow her daughter’s fault.

Nina’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach. It didn’t take a genius to understand who said friend was.

“The whole Spinietta family has been invited,” Maria went on, slamming the book on the table.

She swallowed harshly, the implications of that gesture rapidly sinking in. “Are you serious?”

“I warned you,” her mother pointed a finger at her. “If you had listened to me, maybe it would’ve been Angelo, not him.”

Nina rolled her eyes. Again with her friend’s son. What did she want, to put a death sentence on the poor man? She grabbed the cup of tea that had grown cold in front of her, and got up to pour its content in the sink.

“Did I tell you he’s a teacher?” Maria started again. “I bet he acts all intellectual just like you.”

“If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll intellectualise away from me. Unless he wants to get on the Spiniettas’ bad side, that is. Or dad’s.” She started to aggressively scrub the cup, taking out her anger on the fragile item. “And who says he’d be interested in me anyway?”

Her mother looked at her as if a second nose had grown on her face. Despite her unusual behaviour, Nina carried herself well, looked nice, had an education that most girls could only dream of. Her Italian was outstandingly clean, almost devoid of dialectal influences, and clear. Her brain worked incessantly, she had complex thoughts, and it was often difficult to keep up with her. Not to mention how she managed to give even men twice her age a hard time with the sole power of her words.

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“Maybe he’d find me ugly,” Nina shrugged, “or stupid.”

“You’re my daughter, you can’t be ugly or stupid.”

Nina let out a sigh, drying her hands on a towel. There was no point in arguing. In those situations, it was better to let her mum vent until she got tired of talking with a stone wall and gave up.

Maria dropped the sewing box on the table with a thud. Once she had her daughter’s attention back in her, she started speaking again, a grave expression on her face. “I don’t think you understand the situation you’re in. If your father says yes to Stefano, then he won’t be able to say no anymore,” she said lowly. “You need to act before he says yes.”

“He can’t force me.”

If her father really decided to go through with it, she’d drop the bomb on him that she wasn’t a virgin anymore. Maybe she could do it in front of Stefano, for the pleasure of watching his smug grin disappear from his face. Would she be irremediably deemed as a whore? Yes. Would she bring shame upon her whole family? Absolutely. It would still be better than being Spinietta’s wife.

“You can’t change my mind on this, mum,” she concluded in a tone that didn’t leave any room for discussion.

Her didn’t mother didn’t reply, but the disapproval was clear on her face.

“You know what?” Maria picked up the box from the table again and put it under her arm with a nervous gesture. “I don’t care. Do what you want,” she said sharply, leaving the kitchen.

As soon as she heard the front door closing, Nina exhaled deeply. That was another issue she’d have to deal with, apparently. She wasn’t sure her mother would give up so easily, and she was scared she’d try to act behind her back like her father was.

Her father. Her blood boiled in her veins as her mind went back to the reason why the argument she had just gotten out of had started in the first place. It was time to talk to him, to make it clear that she would never accept to marry that bastard, that she didn’t need time to decide cause she had already made up her mind. The sooner they had that conversation, the sooner all that would end. Hopefully.

Animated by a fiery resolution, Nina strode through the house with large, quick steps. She didn’t pay attention to her brothers, who were heading to the kitchen to have breakfast, nor to Tommy, who was waiting in the large hallway for her father to let him in, and was now looking at her with a puzzled look on his face.

She stormed in her father office, slamming the door behind her. He raised his head from the papers he was signing, looking at her questioningly, but not without a hint of reproach for bursting into his private room without even knocking.

“What does this mean?” Her voice came out more high-pitched than she intended. She stopped in front of the dark wooden desk, forcing him to pay attention to her.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

Her father leaned back in his chair, rolling his cigar between his fingers, keeping his oblivious facade. A new wave of rage ran through Nina, but she was careful to contain it. “You invited the Spinietta family to the engagement party,” she explained through gritted teeth.

Unimpressed by her accusations, he stubbed out his cigar, then folded is hands on his lap. “The Spiniettas are close friends of ours,” he said calmly.

“Right,” she let out a humourless laugh. “You became pretty close over the last month.”

“Business is growing.”

“Ah,” she nodded, raising her eyebrows. “Business.”

Her father clenched his jaw, and from the way his shoulders had stiffened she could tell he knew exactly where the conversation was going. And that he didn’t like her mocking tone.

“Is there a problem, Nina?”

“You tell me. Is there something going on that could be a problem for me?”

She wanted to hear it from him. She wanted him to admit it out loud. She was tired of being treated like she was crazy, like she was imagining things. She wanted honesty.

Vincenzo pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes as if hit by a sudden headache. “I need to talk to Mr Shelby, can we-”

“You’re talking to me,” Nina said firmly, raising her voice.

Her father straightened his back, leaning with his elbows on the wooden surface in front of him. He fixed his gaze on her, his features hardening with austerity. “Mind how you speak to me, I’m your father,” he warned her.

“So I should stay quiet while you make decisions about my life,” she spat out. The way he was trying to impose his authority on her just because he had no arguments to defend himself made her stomach churn.

“I’m not making decisions.”

“You are,” she slammed a hand on the the desk. “Do you really think I don’t know what you’re doing?”

Her father reached his hand out, keeping his voice still low. “Calm down.”

“I will not calm down!”

Ferrante took a deep breath, raising from his chair to properly speak to his daughter. If there was one thing he didn’t tolerate, it was disrespect, but getting angry wouldn’t work, not now, at least. It would only make Nina more stubborn. If he wanted her to listen to him, he needed to get his point across nicely.

“What do you want to do with your life?” he asked her, apparently changing the subject.

Nina furrowed her brows, taken aback by his question. She could sense he was trying to direct the conversation somewhere, and she was quick to pull herself together.

“I want to study,” she said steadily.

“You’ve finished school,” he countered.

“There’s university.”

“Women don’t go to university.”

Nina squinted her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “Then I want to work.”

“Poor women need to work. Do you want to ruin your hands in a factory?”

A glimpse of irony flashed across his face. Once again, his purpose seemed to be to make her feel stupid, or naive, like she had no idea how the world worked. The thing was, he was right, to some extent. Nina had little experience, she didn’t know everything. But there were things she knew, things she didn’t like, and she wasn’t going to accept them just because that was how life was.

Vincenzo walked around his desk to approach her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, his expression softening. “I’m only worried about you,” he said. “About what your life will be like if you go on like this.”

“It’s my life, dad,” she whispered, feeling the tears well up in her eyes against her will. “Maybe you’re right, and I’m ruining myself with my own hands. But the choice is mine to make.”

Despite everything, she thought she could make him understand. There had to be a way to get through him, to make him see, she didn’t want to ruin the bond they had always had. Because she would make her own decisions either way, and she wished for him to support her. She needed him to support her.

“You’re my daughter. I can’t stand back and watch you do that to yourself,” he shook her slightly. “Let go of these fantasies, Nina. Real life is something else.”

Of course. How stupid of her to imagine that he could even try to understand. She shrugged his hands off, forcing back her tears. “You’re wrong.”

Her father nodded to himself, taking a step back. “We’ll see,” he simply said. “As for Stefano, I told you already. The choice is up to you, I’m not forcing you to do anything,” he reassured her, but his condescending tone had the opposite effect.

“You’re not forcing me to do anything, but that son of a bitch is always around.”

“Language.”

Nina scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. He didn’t see the point. He didn’t want to see the point. He only cared about business, about power. Why was she wasting her time?

She made her way towards the door, but she stopped in her tracks when her hand grabbed the handle. After a moment of hesitation, she spoke again, but she didn’t around to look at him.

“You’re making a mistake.”

Tommy watched as Nina strode out of Ferrante’s study with a face like thunder. He had heard the screams, but he hadn’t been able to make out what the fuss was about, the long sequence of Italian sentences unfamiliar to him.

Those kinds of arguments had happened frequently, over the last three days. Nina had become unmanageable - not that she had ever been the manageable type. But she had gotten worse. If someone so much as glanced at her the wrong way or said one word too many, she’d turn it into an excuse to fight. She was sensitive, and snappish, and she seemed to have lost the ability to put on her mask of coolness and indifference. As a way to heal his wounded ego, which still burned from the things she had said to him, he told himself it was a good thing she had rejected him. If she had the gall to talk back to her father like that, there was no doubt she’d act even worse with her husband, and he had enough headaches already. And for sure, he would’ve never wanted to be at the receiving hand of her temper.

Nina stopped in front of him, recollecting herself, and Tommy couldn’t not notice she radiated the same frigidity as when they had met for the first time. “My father wants to see you, Mr Shelby,” she said coldly.

Ah, now she called him Mr Shelby. As if she hadn’t been whimpering his name in his ear a few nights before.

“I think we’re way past the formalities, sweetheart.”

His remark was enough to make her falter. She blinked up at him, shocked by his bluntness.

“Way past,” he repeated, raising his eyebrows.

“Will you lower your voice?” she hissed, taking a look around to make sure no one was near.

Tommy held back a smirk at her flustered state. Her usual frown had deepened, and a tinge of red had crept up her cheeks. Had the situation between them been different, he would’ve gladly went on. He had to remind himself he wasn’t in the position to tease her anymore. Nina had said it very clearly, she didn’t care about him. What had happened between them had been a mistake, she regretted it. She regretted him.

Then why were her eyes telling a different story?

Nina huffed, tucking a rebel strand of hair behind her ear. “He’s waiting for you,” she murmured.

Her arm brushed against his as she walked past him, sending a spark of electricity through his whole body. Leaving him wondering when he had gotten to the point where the slightest contact threatened to make his self-control crumble.

Nina examined her figure in the mirror, a niggling uneasiness taking over her. She wasn’t used to doll herself up like that. She had put on a beautiful dress for the occasion, done her makeup, managed to tame her long hair, and she had half-hoped she would be happy with the result once she was done. However, in her silk dress, in her makeup, with her hair away from her face, Nina felt like a fraud. Ridiculous, even.

She had always been the ugly duckling of the brood. When her cousins had started to bloom into beautiful women, she was still all elbows and knees, drawing the petty comments of her aunts, poorly hidden behind harmless jokes. She remembered all too well the embarrassment she felt every time they pointed out her flat chest, joking about how if she cut her hair she could be mistaken for a boy. She was ashamed to admit that even though she wasn’t that gawky kid anymore, those words had stuck with her. She tried to convince herself she didn’t care about being pretty, that her mind was her primary concern, but the truth was, sometimes she wanted to feel pretty.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and just pretend, she told herself, straightening her back. It was a little exercise she had trained herself to do over the years. Head high, impassive face, don’t let them get to you, act like you know exactly what you want, walk like you know exactly where you’re going. It worked, most of the times. Maybe if she pretended long enough one day she’d be able to convince herself as well.

Once ready, she crossed the upstairs floor of the house, reaching the separate corridor in which her parents’ bedroom was located. Her mother was standing in front of a full-length mirror, fixing some pins in her hair. Nina leaned against the doorframe, and allowed herself to stay in her company for a while.

Out of the comfortable clothes she used to wear, out of the kitchen, out of the restraints of her role as a wife and a mother doomed to annihilate herself, she looked years younger. The dress she was wearing was modest, elegant, and the dark blue shade perfectly complimented her complexion. The shadow of a rare genuine smile grew on her face as she put on her pearl earrings, mixed with an emotion Nina couldn’t quite recognise. She could almost swear there were tears in her eyes. Nina realised she didn’t even remember the last time she had seen her mother taking care of her appearance like that, and that finally having the chance to do it must be a source of melancholy as well as joy. Was that what a life dedicated to the care of a whole family had done to her? Had she forgotten herself to that degree?

“What are you looking at?” Maria asked gruffly, glancing at her daughter through the mirror.

How sweet. Nina pursed her lips to hide a sly grin, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Nothing.”

Her mother frowned, smoothing down her dress, then she turned around to face her. She looked at the ground for a moment, then back at Nina, a hint of uncertainty in her eyes. “How do I look?”

A pang of sorrow spread in Nina’s chest at the thought that her mother might feel anything else but beautiful. “Stunning, mum,” she said truthfully.

“Is this too much?”

“No,” she shook her head. “It’s perfect.”

The older woman turned to the mirror again, her features softening. “Go downstairs, tell your father I’m almost ready.”

Reluctantly, Nina mustered up the courage to get out of her hiding, mechanical step after mechanical step, like a man facing the gallows. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to feel her relatives’ judgmental stares on her. She didn’t want to see Stefano. She didn’t want to watch Tommy and Agnese be officially presented as a couple. Husband and wife. It made her feel sick. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw Tommy standing on top of the staircase, checking the time on his pocket watch, handsome in his formal attire.

His head shot up upon hearing the sound of her footsteps, and for a while it felt like the whole world had stopped turning just for him to have that moment. That moment to look at her, to take in the sight of her in her long, light blue dress that enhanced her tanned skin; with her ebony hair pinned up, exposing her delicate neck and cleavage, instead of hiding her as usual.

“You…” Tommy’s breath hitched in his throat, his mouth dry. You’re beautiful.

He didn’t dare say it.

“Hi,” Nina murmured, fidgeting with her own fingers. She had no idea of what to do or say. Standing there and staring at him like an idiot was clearly not an option, so she decided to approach the stairs. But one look at the long series of steps was enough for her to understand that there was no way she could descend it in her heels without making a fool of herself. Had she been alone, she would’ve gripped the railing like her life depended on it and ungracefully stomped her way down.

As if he had read her mind, Tommy offered her his arm without uttering a single word. He limited himself to peering at her, his gaze indecipherable, intense. Nina accepted his help, trying not to think about how natural it felt to have her hand in the crook of his elbow as they climbed down the stairs. Her legs were shaking, probably not because of the shoes, and she just hoped she wouldn’t trip over her feet and ruinously fall on her face. When she walked down the last step, she realised she had been holding her breath the whole time.

“Thank you,” she whispered, letting go of his arm.

Tommy nodded, taking a step back.

He needed a drink - or possibly two or three - to give him the strength to get through the night. Now more than ever he felt like he was putting handcuffs around his wrists rather than a ring on his finger. He had been telling himself that everything was going reasonably well, that following the plan which had been made over a month before was the best thing to do. He was going to marry the woman they had chosen for him, a beautiful woman, who would make him look good. Agnese was sweet, and gentle. She would take care of the house, of him, give him children. He would have a good life with her. She would bring him peace, turn his house into a safe place away from the wickedness of his business.

Nina would’ve brought him the storm. With her, a life of confrontation, of compromise, maybe even conflict would’ve awaited him. He would’ve had to answer to her, to accept her sharp edges and the sides of her that weren’t easy to deal with.

No, he was lying to himself. Confrontation, compromise, conflict had been his daily bread since he was a kid. His restless nature had never cared for peace. His skin was thick enough not to get cut on her edges. And pain had never scared him anyway. But that didn’t matter. The wedding would be in two weeks, then he would leave that place behind. Leave Nina behind. He’d forget about her like he had forgotten about Grace. He had done it once, he could do it again. Even if he’d prefer to rip his heart out of his chest.

For the engagement party, Agnese’s family had chosen to celebrate in the garden that surrounded the two houses. Everything had been planned with the outmost care: there were tables, flowers, candles, waiters balancing trays of champagne, musicians playing mesmerising tunes. A whole team of chefs had been hired for the delicious dinner. Nina had been pleased to find out that she wouldn’t have to share the table with Stefano, this time, who had sat with his family and other guests far away from her. Nevertheless, she had barely touched her food. Her stomach was still twisted from the events of the day. Now she was standing aside, watching as some couples gathered to dance. Including Tommy and Agnese.

They were both beautiful. Exceptionally so. Agnese was radiant in her ivory dress, she glowed with the happiness of a girl who was about to see all her dreams come true. Tommy held her in his arms with great gentleness as they swayed to the rhythm, and despite the vicious bites of jealousy, Nina was unable to look away. He’d fall in love with Agnese, of that she was sure. Her cousin was stunning, and sweet, and caring, all things Nina was not. Tommy would fall in love with Agnese and realise how blind he had been for ever setting his eyes on someone like her.

A tall figure came to stand by her side, and she was engulfed by the smell of a strong cologne mixed with cigar smoke. The man exuded an aura of power, dominance, along with a calm that was nothing more than a cover for something far more dangerous, unpredictable. Vito Spinietta. Her body tensed, and she instinctively crossed her arms over her chest. Sending him a sideways glance, she was met with his calculating gaze. He was inspecting her, assessing her, searching for any weak point as though he could read into her.

“Good evening,” he said, not taking his eyes off her.

“Good evening.”

A heavy silence followed. Nina wasn’t a fool, she was aware that if Stefano’s brother had taken the trouble to go speak to her it wasn’t to make small talk. The heir to the Spinietta empire was too practical a man to waste his time on pleasantries, and certainly wasn’t there for the pleasure of her company.

“I know there’s no point beating around the bush with you,” he said, confirming her suspicions. “So I’ll be direct. I’m here on behalf of my brother.”

Nina tilted her head in amusement. Had it really become a family matter? Had a no on her part caused such commotion?

“Stefano’s a good guy,” he announced solemnly. “It’s just that sometimes he acts the wrong way.”

Nina had to hold back a dismissive laugh at his statement. A good guy. It was almost as pathetic as the excuse he had made up for his behaviour.

“What am I supposed to do with this information?”

“He cares about you.”

“So you’ve taken it upon yourself to play Cupid,” she said bitterly, with a little edge of sarcasm, earning herself a stern look. “It doesn’t suit you,” she shook her head, mocking him behind an expression that was meant to feign innocent honesty.

Vito raised his chin, reacting with silence to her insolent replies. “It would be good to unite the families, considering the circumstances,” he said instead. “And a rejection could be seen as…” he paused, searching her face. “An offence.”

His words had Nina knitting her eyebrows in a frown. He had pronounced them in an ambiguous, vague way, but she hadn’t missed the gloomy undertone. “Is this a threat?”

“What do you take me for?” he asked, clearly just pretending to be offended. “I’d never threaten a woman.”

He was playing the card of the man of honour. As if he and his brother hadn’t done even worse to the girls of the town. She had to say something now. Too long had she let Stefano scare her, she wouldn’t make the same mistake with Vito. The Spiniettas weren’t the only ones who got power, she came from a tough family as well, and she would no longer forget who she was.

“Listen,” she started, turning to properly look at him. “I’m not scared of you, or your brother, or your threats.”

Vito clenched his jaw, his mouth twisting into a grimace.

Nina took a step towards him, further decreasing the already short distance between them. “You two think you can do as you please because I am a woman?” she narrowed her eyes. “Think again. Cause one word from me and you’ll see your whole organisation fall around your ears.”

“Is this a threat?”

“It’s a promise.”

Nina wanted to see his mask slip. She wanted him to reveal himself, like Stefano had revealed himself not so long ago, when he had put his hands on her in her own house. She wanted him to give her a reason to draw her knife on him, there, in front of everyone. But Vito wasn’t Stefano. It would take a lot more to make him lose his composure.

Vito took a step back, observing her. He could see why his brother was so adamant on having her. Stefano had always loved a good challenge. He didn’t want someone obedient by nature, someone who would listen to his every command. He wanted someone difficult, someone he could take his time to bend. Or break. It would’ve taken way more than a few slaps to break that one.

Their conversation came to an end when Stefano walked up to Nina, holding out his hand to her. “Wanna dance?”

Nina took a look around. Her situation hadn’t gone unnoticed: most of the guests had been peering at her and Vito, trying to figure out what was going on, and now that Stefano had entered the picture, they were sending them subtle glances, waiting to see if Nina would’ve accepted his invitation. Her first instinct was to say no, but leaving him there in front of everyone would cause quite the stir, and surely take the attention away from the new couple. That was Agnese’s night, and she didn’t have the right to ruin it for her. Not after what she had already done. So she placed her hand in his, and unwillingly let him lead her to the dance floor.

His hand was light on her waist as he lead the dance, yet that contact felt heavy, violent. It made her skin crawl. She focused on the ground behind his shoulders, trying to ignore the weight of people’s stares on them. She was afraid to raise her head and find out Tommy was watching too.

It didn’t take her long to detach herself from her surroundings. She didn’t hear the music, she didn’t see the couples dancing around them, she was only uncomfortably aware of Stefano’s proximity, of the heat of his body, of the burning marks his hands seemed to leave into her flesh. He had the predatory eyes of a raptor as he scrutinised the uncovered parts of her body, taking on the appearance of a beast waiting for the right moment to bite.

“I love you, Nina,” he whispered in her ear, his tone pleading. “I want to make you happy. I want to give you everything.”

Nina could read it on his face. He did think he loved her, he was truly convinced that his sick obsession was love. It’s wasn’t merely a matter of wounded ego, he was sincerely hurt in his own, twisted way. And that was something that could potentially make him even more dangerous. A shiver ran down her spine, but she forced herself not to shy away, and she let him speak without interrupting him.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes with you, and I want to fix them. Let me make it right.” His arm tightened around her as he brought her even closer. “I can be good to you.” There was desperation now in his voice. Nina tried to put some distance between them, but he didn’t let her. “I can be good to you, and you can be good to me. I’ll teach you how to be good to me.” His fingers curled around her hand in a painful grip. “Think about what we could be together. Say yes.”

Nina squeezed her eyes, overwhelmed by his insistent touch, his urgent words; disgusted by the image of them living in the same house that had forced itself into her mind; repulsed by his eagerness to mould her.

The music ended, bringing them back to reality. Nina was relieved to be able to pull away from Stefano, whose grip had finally loosened. He was out of his mind if he thought she could ever forget what he had done to her. A wave of rage ran through her, but she was careful not to let it show. Straightening her back, she looked him dead in the eyes, and just one word left her mouth.

“No.”

Stefano’s face fell, disappointment and anger battling in his irises, and his fist clenched by his side. However, Nina didn’t stay there to wait for a reaction. She turned on her heels and walked away from him, from the dance floor, from the crowd of nosy guests. Her inner turmoil grew with every step, and her state of panic was such that she didn’t even realise she had entered her house. With an irritated huff, she hastily fumbled with her impractical shoes and left them at the entrance, then sought refuge in her bedroom.

She took some deep breaths, rubbing her face. It felt like the more she tried to fix things, the more she made them worse, and there was no way out of that endless cycle. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to act? Who was she supposed to beg to drag her out of that situation? Because it was becoming clearer and clearer that she wouldn’t be able to make it by herself. When had things taken that turn? Had there been a mistake, a single, fateful mistake she had made that had caused all of that? Or was it someone else’s fault? Or was it no one’s fault?

Too many questions, not enough answers. Racking her brains to find a pattern, to put order to the events was useless. They were too tangled, too intricate. It hadn’t started when she had made love with Tommy, nor when he had kissed her, nor when he had appeared in her life. It hadn’t even started when she had pointed a knife at Stefano’s throat, nor when she had let him get close to her all those years ago at school. Had it started, perhaps, when she had insisted on studying? Was it her punishment for wanting more than she could have? More questions, still no answers. The worst thing was, she couldn’t see a way out.

There was a soft knocking on the open door, and when Nina turned around Tommy was there. He looked exhausted, as if the evening had drained him of all his energy. It was unusual to see him like that, he wasn’t the kind of man who let his distress show. For the first time, she realised how much the whole marriage situation had taken a toll on him.

If the reasonable part of her wanted him to leave, the other - the one she seemingly had no control over - needed him close to her. It was absurd how reassuring his presence felt. Maybe that was what had drawn her to him in the first place. When everything around her was swirling, when there was nothing certain or reliable, Tommy was stable, solid. Something to hold on to.

Nina forced those thoughts away. She was losing her mind. Tommy was the least stable thing in her life. He wasn’t there to stay, he would leave in two weeks time and she would never see him again, except for a few occasions, like Christmas or maybe weddings. Indulging in that kind of fantasy would only make things harder.

“Is this your plan?” Tommy suddenly asked, a hint of accusation leaking out of his neutral tone. “Say yes to Spinietta?”

Nina felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over her, and her musings disappeared to give way to pure surprise. “What?” she asked in disbelief, widening her eyes.

“You heard me.”

“That’s ridiculous, I’d never do that.”

“Is that why you were dancing with him?” he raised his eyebrows, pointing at the door with his finger, as if Stefano were outside the room.

Nina shook her head, still not believing they were actually having that conversation. “You shouldn’t mix whiskey with champagne,” she said dryly, her voice coming out harsher than she had intended. But Tommy didn’t seem fazed by it.

“You looked rather intimate,” he noted with a touch of contempt, too upset to realise how preposterous his assumptions sounded.

Nina’s mouth fell agape. She hadn’t missed the inflection in his voice. Was he… jealous? She squinted her eyes, taking a step towards him. “What’s this?” she inquired.

Her question seemed to catch him off guard. He wavered, and an emotion difficult to define flashed across his features. It was more than simply pain. It was like all the resentment Tommy had harboured since that fateful afternoon was flowing out, inexorable, making him unable to think with a clear mind. Biting back was the only way he had to protect the feelings he had foolishly let show. Guilt ate at her stomach at the sight, and she had to remind herself she had done what she had done for him, before anyone else.

As if finally coming back to himself, Tommy clenched his jaw, and took on his usual, impassive expression. “I can’t believe you,” he murmured. “After everything he’s done to you.”

Nina nervously fidgeted with her fingers, not knowing how to make him see that he couldn’t be more wrong. Did he think so little of her? “I’m not..” she trailed off, torn between her sense of guilt and her pride. The latter took the upper hand. She frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. “You have no right to lecture me.”

“True,” he nodded. “I have no right. Cause what happened between us was a mistake and you don’t care about me.”

That was the point. That had always been the point. Tommy thought she had cruelly played him, maybe even used him, just to discard him when she didn’t want him anymore. She exhaled deeply, not meeting his eyes. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s not like that,” he let out a humourless chuckle. “You said it, you’re taking it back now?”

“Stop it.”

“Eh?” Tommy’s voice raised, overlapping hers. “Are you taking it back?”

“I said stop.”

“You said-”

“I lied!” she snapped.

A tense silence fell in the room. Tommy blinked, and all the bitterness faded from his features. “Wha… what?” he stuttered, a confused frown forming on his face.

Nina didn’t regret her admission. She was so tired of pretending, of lying, of hurting him, and saying it out loud lifted a weight off her shoulders.

“I lied,” she repeated, more softly. “I never meant to hurt you. I…” her voice cracked. “I did it to protect you. To protect both of us.” There was no going back now. Her walls had been breached, and the words she had fought hard to keep to herself were leaving her lips before she had the chance to measure them. “Do you have any idea how much we’re risking? I’m risking? We talked about it, I told you how these things work.”

Tentatively, Tommy broke the distance between them, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her head up. “Is this what you’re scared of?” he asked incredulous, searching her face frantically, his frown deepening. “I’d never let anything bad happen to you. I’d never let anyone lay a fucking finger on you. You hear me?”

Nina believed him. He would stand between her and harm’s way without a second thought. But that was the problem. She took his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb over it before pulling it away from her face. “And what about you?”

“What?”

“Do you really think you could’ve changed your mind? That they would let you, at that point? You made your decision when you started courting Agnese.”

“Maybe they would’ve understood-”

“No. Her father would’ve wanted your head for humiliating his daughter. The deal would’ve been off and you would’ve been six feet underground in a matter of hours.”

And I’d never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you because of me, she wanted to add.

Tommy didn’t reply, but the pain in his eyes spoke for him. He knew she was right.

Nina gently stroked his cheek. “We never had a chance,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “And I’m not worth starting a war over.”

Tommy squeezed his eyelids, shaking his head as if to chase that unbearable thought away. Then, impetuously, he kicked the door shut and crushed his lips against hers. The force of the kiss knocked Nina’s breath out of her lungs, but she was quick to wrap her arms around his neck, pressing their bodies together.

Tommy backed her towards the dresser behind her, then he hoisted her up in his strong arms and sat her on it. A groan left his lips when Nina hooked a leg around him, bringing him even closer. His hands roamed down to her hips, gripping, squeezing, his tongue exploring her sweet mouth. He relished her warmth, her scent, her soft hands caressing his face, trying to imprint every little feeling into his memory. He wanted her, in the most raw, primal way. Because it was the only way he had to have her. Or at least, to delude himself he did. She was like water in his hands, she slipped through his fingers again and again, never letting him hold her, never letting him keep her. But with his fingers digging in her skin, she almost seemed real.

Pulling away to catch his breath, Tommy dropped his forehead into her neck, grabbing her waist. “You’re killing me,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You’re fucking killing me.”

Tears began to stream down Nina’s cheeks. She felt like the worst person alive. She was causing so much pain, to him, to herself. She gently stroked the back of his head, sniffling. “You should go,” she compelled herself to say, although in that moment she wanted nothing more than for him to stay. “They’ll notice your absence.”

“They’re all drunk, they won’t,” he contradicted her.

“Agnese will.”

“She’s with her sisters.”

“But-”

Tommy’s head shot up to look at her, silencing her with his icy glare. “Fuck them,” he husked, wiping away her tears.

Fuck them.

Their mouths collided again. Blood rushed through Nina’s veins as Tommy kissed her hungrily. She could feel him everywhere, she was completely enveloped by him, by his smell of soap, whiskey and cigarettes, by the feeling of his rough hands, and yet she wanted more. She wanted to crumble and be brought into a new existence, to melt in his arms and become one heart, one body, one soul.

They only parted so she could help Tommy get free of his jacket. He was back on her right away, leaving a trail of kisses from her neck down to her chest, his teeth grazing the soft skin from time to time, making goosebumps ripple down her skin. He impatiently lifted her dress, fingers brushing against her smooth legs. More free to move, Nina allowed him more space, and her insides clenched with desire when she felt the bulge in his trousers against her.

Tommy’s hand ghosted over her clothed sex, making her squirm in anticipation. “Tommy,” she moaned, urging him to touch her where she needed the most. Pushing her underwear to the side, he slid two digits into her wet entrance, coaxing a sinful, beautiful sound out of her lips. Nina held onto his shoulders as he started to move his fingers, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Look at me,” Tommy commanded, cupping her chin with his free hand. Her eyelids fluttered open, showing him her glossy eyes filled with pleasure, causing his cock to painfully twitch.

He pumped his fingers in and out of her, working her open, eliciting small gasps from her that threatened to make him lose his mind. His thumb went to stroke her clit, the unexpected motion making her yelp.

Fuck, she was so beautiful.

“Tommy, please…” she whispered, clutching the soft material of his shirt. “I need you.”

She didn’t need to say it twice. Wasting no time, Tommy slid his fingers out of her to get rid of her knickers, discarding them somewhere on the floor, then fumbled with his trousers, finally freeing himself from all restraints. He grabbed Nina’s thighs, pulling her closer to the edge of the dresser so he could position himself between her folds, then he entered her with one swift thrust, burying himself inside of her. Nina hid her face in his shoulder, one hand coming to cup the nape of his neck, the other clutching the fabric of his shirt. Tommy began to rock his hips, firmly yet slowly, giving her the time to adjust to the feeling of him stretching her walls.

Nina clung onto him as if he could shield her from the unknown, as if he were a shelter, a place where she could forget, even for a moment, the uncertain future that awaited her. A future she tried to escape from, but the more she ran, the more she found it on her heels, ready to catch her, to drag her into the darkness that had been threatening her for years.

Tommy’s pace quickened, becoming more desperate, almost brutal, arms wrapped around her waist, bringing every inch of their bodies together. Nina was surprised to find that was exactly what she needed in that moment. It kept her anchored to him and only him.

“You feel so good,” Tommy growled, digging his fingers in her flesh, and her cheeks burned at his words.

He set a merciless rhythm, pounding into her with sharp thrusts. Nina barely recognised the sounds that were coming out of her, but she was too lost in her pleasure to be worried about them. Breath hitched in her throat when he reached a particular spot that made her see stars, and he hit it again and again, drawing shaky whimpers out of her. With each minute that passed she felt closer and closer to her release, and Tommy must’ve been aware of that too. She let out a strangled noise when he brought a finger to her swollen clit, the fire in her abdomen too much to bear.

“C’mon, love,” he rasped. “Cum for me.”

He drew small circles on her sensitive bud, pushing her over the edge. Her walls fluttered around his cock, shockwaves gripping her body as she came undone. Tommy kept on thrusting into her, hips ruthlessly snapping as he chased his climax, until with a last, powerful thrust, he emptied himself inside of her, grunting in her ear.

For a while, neither of them moved. They stayed in each other’s embrace, panting, savouring that ephemeral semblance of peace. Nina nuzzled her cheek against his, the comforting scent of his aftershave filling her nostrils. Neither of them seemed to intend to let go first.

God, she didn’t want to let him go. Before she could control them, tears filled Nina’s eyes again, and she tried her best to prevent them from falling. Why did it have to be so hard? Why did she have to fall for the one man she could never have? Why did her happiness have to cause so much damage? The most irrational part of it was that despite all of that, being in his arms felt like the rightest thing in the world. They perfectly moulded together like they had been created just fit into each other’s arms, to fill each other’s voids. Nothing she had ever felt could compare to it.

Eventually, they moved apart. They fixed their clothes in silence, pulling themselves together as best they could. Not that Nina cared at all. There was no way she was going back to the party. No one would notice anyway.

“Go,” she whispered, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen on his forehead. “They must be looking for you.”

Tommy gently cradled the back of her head, pressing a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll come to you later,” he promised.

Nina nodded, forcing herself to smile. But tears started flowing as soon as she watched him walk out the door.

Heart, Body and Sould tag list

@zablife @queenofshinigamis @raincoffeeandfandoms / @justrainandcoffee @call-sign-shark

@kmc1989 @babayaga67 @kmhappybunny240 @diorrfairy @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

@gaslysainz @brummiereader @loverhymeswith @fairypitou @prettywhenicry4

@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @woofgocows @girlwith-thepearlearring @goblinjnr @outlanderuniverse

@citylights31 @neonpurplestars89-blog @outlanderuniverse @red-riding-wood @evita-shelby

@look-at-the-soul @gathania93 @wonderlanddreamer @thelastemzy @meadows5

@emotionalcadaver

General tag list:

@iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella

@caelys @lucillethings @peakyxtommy @queenofkings1212 @lyarr24

@kmc1989 @call-sign-shark @jomarch-wannabe @ce1iat @areyenotfondofmelobster

@red-riding-wood @optimisticsandwichgladiator

Tommy Shelby tag list:

@50svibes @bellabarnes1378

[marcspectrr]

I don’t think the unsigned divorce papers were that much of a surprise for Layla. Yeah, there were plenty of traumatic emotions surrounding the documents once she received them, but surprise does not seem very high on the list. I think they mostly served to personify and solidify a preexisting issue within their relationship.

That Marc's gestures will always be louder than his words.

And that's not inherently an issue, destined to ruin every relationship it's present in. Depending on context, for some people gestures are a love language, and that's completely fine. The point where it becomes an issue, at least in Marc and Layla's relationship, is when it hinders their ability to honestly communicate at all. Both Marc and Layla recognize this problem. (Also don't mind Marc in the background in the jeep, his soul is just slowly deteriorating ahdjfk)

This weakness in communication was made evident by the way the intention behind the papers was clearly mispercieved (which is obviously understandable). Marc meant them as a way of saying 'you're better off without me, I'm trying to let you go', etc. What Layla interprets them as is 'I'm leaving you now, you don't even deserve to know why', etc. And it doesn't help that Marc isn't physically there to reverse the thinking, it just exacerbates the miscommunication and therefore the hurt that was born from the gesture.

What's really sad is that, given how long they've been together and how they've likely been dealing with this problem for a while, Marc actually tries to communicate in a different way before dropping the divorce papers on her.

I imagine sometime before he left her he tells her this. Maybe during a fight that starts out slow and soft, maybe taking place sometime after Elias calls Marc about the Shiva. Marc feels himself slipping, knows he's in danger of his wife finally seeing through the cracks in his deliberate and meticulous masks and perhaps he panics. So he talks. He's so desperate to lessen the impact of is absence from her life that he risks talking, actual conversation, one that I'm willing to bet does not end well.

He tries, literally pushes himself out of his comfort zone, in one last attempt to rid himself from her life. He tries, while still keeping so many of his old wounds hidden and now shouldering a new burden from the phone call, to tell her he doesn't see himself as someone worth her time anymore. He says it in the way he deems least painful in a moment of significant hurt for him, which unfortunately comes out as them needing to move on, as him needing to remove himself from the equation altogether.

He ends up leaving and then sending the divorce papers, yet still unable to even sign them.

That's one piece of context that shows the papers couldn't have been that surprising. They were already in a not-so-good-place prior to him disappearing, so the papers were just the gesture behind the words she had already heard, even as misconstrued and poorly executed as they were.

Also, the whole 'you told me we needed to move on' simultaneously implies the build up that's further depicted by Layla actually bringing the papers with her when she tracks him down. They didn't go from a happily married couple to Marc disappearing, Layla receiving divorce papers and then doing nothing about them. She wouldn't just...give up. She brings the papers with her because that perceptible struggle that they could no longer fight, she's already experienced it. They both have. So she tracks him down, fully expecting to finally give him what he 'wants', only to find out the other parts to his story he was hiding from her for so long.

It just lowkey blows my mind everytime I think of it. Of Marc having tried a different way of pushing her away initially. Bc I see a lot of people framing it like he just up and ghosted her with nothing and he...didn't. And that's so big. There's a huge difference between that and what he did. Bc he tried, even if he failed. He tried at something he knew he wouldn't be good at. All in an attempt to protect her, really. From a lot of pain, from the truth, from himself. It's not very rational thinking but it does come from a very sincere place, ya know?

[jungwonenthusiast]

This is my first time here so I'm new but 2 & 15 Jay prompt (hard dom) female reader😣 Jay would say it...

A/N: I’m not really satisfied with this one, I feel like it isn’t good enough but I hope you still enjoy it. I also made Jay more of a soft dom bc I thought it fit the concept more but I tried to add a bit of degradation here and there :)

Warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f recieving), very slight degredation

Word count: 1.9 k

Tonight was the night, you could feel it. You’ve been dating Jay for a while and of course you’ve fantasized about it a lot, but you never felt like you were truly ready until now.

You’re watching a movie in your room when you lean over to peck his jaw. This earns no reaction so you move to his neck and kiss down until you reach the collar of his shirt.

“What’s up with you today?” he chuckles as you struggle to get his attention.

“I missed you.” you say and kiss him softly on the lips.

“I saw you yesterday.” he smiles.

“Still.” you kiss him harder this time and he finally gets the notice.

He pulls you onto his lap and sets his glasses on the nightstand.

You’ve made out before but it was usually more playful and just a way to show affection. This time it’s passionate and it’s evident that you both want something.

Your breathing gets a little heavy when his lips find your neck. He bites you softly and you giggle.

His hands sneak up your top and gently rub your sides.

He tastes like a woodfire and lust and you want him so bad that you can’t help but rock your hips against his. He smiles against your lips.

“This is new.” he says quietly and you giggle.

You feel a bit nervous and giddy but even more than that, excited.

“I think I’m ready.” you tell him and he cocks a brow.

“For what?”

“You know what.” you shove his shoulder a bit.

His eyes light up. “Really? Are you sure?”

You giggle again. He makes you very giggly. “Mhm.”

“You’re not just saying that because you think I want it right? I mean I do want it— a lot— but you know what I mean.”

You’ve never seen him nervous like this before. “Yes I’m sure. I’m saying it because I want it too.”

“Okay good,” he pecks your cheek. “Let’s continue shall we?”

You laugh and nod before crashing your lips against his.

He keeps one hand on your waist and the other on your chest, groping and massaging you.

After giving you a light hickey he flips you over so your back is on the bed. Just him doing that sends heat between your legs. You look so gorgeous displayed under him it gives him an instant hard on.

He kisses you and slides his knee between your thighs. Your breath hitches.

His hand trails from your chest up to your throat where he squeezes lightly. You let out a small moan and he smiles.

“I had a feeling you’d like that.” he says and kisses you again.

His knee has been pushing up on you for a bit, but now you’re craving something more. You grab his hand and place it at the band of your shorts.

“Do you need something?” he asks and you roll your eyes. “Don’t give me attitude, tell me what you want.”

Your sass is put to an end right away. You cave so easily under him. “Touch me please.”

“Attagirl.” he smiles and slips his fingers down the thin fabric.

Your whole body tenses once you feel him. It’s such a foreign feeling, having someone else touch you like this.

“Relax baby,” he kisses your neck. “I’ll make you feel good.” And he does.  

You moan at the first circle to your clit. You grip his wrist hard.

He smirks. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

“Stop it.” you whine and he chuckles.

“It’s cute.” he says and kisses you with zeal.

He pulls the collar on your shirt down so he can place a hickey on your collarbone.

How can he multitask so well? You ask yourself.

It’s soon when your thighs begin to tremble.

“Not yet, not yet baby.” he says and settles himself between your legs. Oh. Your knees fall together right on que and he laughs. “Stop that.”

“I’m shy~” you complain.

“Since when,” he says. “You’re usually so bold.”

After some words of encouragement he finally gets your legs spread.

He tugs your shorts off leaving you in just your underwear. He snaps the band. “These are nice.”

You laugh and kick him in the shoulder. “You’re ruining the mood.”

“I’m just being myself.” he says and kisses your thigh. The kisses get messier and open mouthed as they travel down.

He runs his tongue on the lining of your underwear and at this point you're on the verge of begging for it. You squirm under him and he nips at your skin.

“Patience.” he says and gives you a few more kisses before finally sliding your underwear off.

He pulls away to admire you for a moment. “Such a pretty cunt.”

You feel your cheeks burn red and you resist closing your legs again.

He holds you tight before dipping his head down and licking one stripe up your pussy. Your thighs tense. It was just one touch, how does it feel so good.

He feeds off your pleasure and continues to lick agonizingly slow circles on your clit, paying attention to when your thighs would clench and when you would tug at his hair.

Your sounds are so intoxicating he could swear you’re a siren luring him to his death. But if he were to die by making you feel like this, it’d be worth it.

Soon you're a shaking mess, grabbing at the sheets and rolling your hips over his mouth. And you’re seconds away from finishing when he pulls away, You have to hold yourself back from socking him in the jaw.

“What was that for?” you whine.

“What?” he tugs his shirt over his head. “Do I make you feel that good?”

What a prick. A really hot one, but still a prick.

“Yes,” you admit. “Please keep going.”

“Hold on sweetheart I have something better planned,” he unbuttons his jeans “now just lay there and be pretty for me.”

He pushes your thighs up and rubs the head of his cock against your clit.

“Fuck,” you whisper and he kisses you. You taste yourself on his lips; sweet and treacly.

He kisses your neck. “How bad do you want it?”

You nod. “Really bad.”

“I don’t believe you. Convince me.” he teases and of course, you fold.

“Please fuck me, you know I need it.”

You saying that makes him lose his mind a little bit. “That’s more like it.” he lines himself up with you before slowly pushing in.

After being edged for so long, you nearly cum from the feeling of being filled up.

“So fucking tight.” he growls into your neck.

He lets you adjust to his size before slowly thrusting into you. You grab at his back and let a moan escape your throat.

“Feels good huh?”

You nod pathetically and cover your face with hands.

He takes them off. “Don’t do that, I wanna see your pretty face.” you listen to him and try to ignore how exposed you feel. You’re comfortable because it’s Jay but it still feels so new.

You cling onto him and curse into his neck. “Keep going please.”

He smiles. “What a good slut, so desperate for this cock.”

Your eyes roll back as his tip hits your g-spot over and over again.

He kisses you before pounding into you, holding onto the headboard for leverage.

You let out a sultry whine and he groans.

“Touch yourself.” he says to you. “Show me how you like it.”

It makes you feel shy but you listen to him. Your fingers travel down to your clit and with him fucking you like this, you almost go insane from how good everything feels. Every touch and every word sends you into a euphoria that you’ve never felt before. You’re almost embarrassed about how he could get you like this.

“How long have you thought about me fucking you like this?” he asks.

“So long,” you say softly. “You’re so good.”

“Naughty,” he kisses your neck. “I never knew you were so bad.”

You start to feel the fire grow hotter and hotter in the pit of your stomach and you hold on to his arms as hard as you can.

“Fuck,” you whimper. “Please make me cum.”

“Close already?” he chuckles “You’re easy to get off.”

“Please?” you ask with more desperation in your voice.

He smirks. “Does my baby need to cum that bad?” his hand finds your throat again. “Are you that much of a needy slut?”

His fake sympathy just makes you wetter. So wet that you can hear it every time he slams into you.

“Yes Jay, just please make me cum.” you beg him. The look in your face is so hopeless and enticing that he has so choice but to comply.

“Alright princess, only because you asked so nicely.” he starts to thrust into you faster. You can hear the bed frame rattling. “Keep rubbing your clit baby, that’s it.”

He’s so gorgeous with that fierce look in his eyes and his black hair hanging over his face. You hold tight onto his wrist as you start pulse around him.

“Fuck,” he moans quietly. “Cum on this cock, I know you can.”

You push all of your worries to the back of your head and stay focused on him. His cock thrusting in and out of you, the sound of your wet pussy, your juices being rubbed on your clit, the squeeze on your neck, and dirty words being whispered into your ear.

“Look at you all spread out for me like this like a little fuck doll.” he says and just like that, you're crying out, cumming so hard that you're on the verge of tears.

“That’s it,” he whispers to you. “What a good girl.” he kisses you slowly, wanting to give you his love in a way that can’t be communicated with words. You feel his love. It fills your chest with a golden light. He watches your face contort in pleasure and that alone sends him over the edge. “Fuck,” he groans.

He pulls out and wipes away the tears that started to spill out of your eyes. “Are you okay baby? Was I too rough?”

“No no,” you shake your head and giggle. “It just felt really good.”

“Your thighs are shaking so much.” he points out which you didn’t even notice until he did so.

You look away, blushing.

“Damn I guess I am good.” he says with a smug look on his face.

You roll your eyes. “Fuck off you ass.”

“What? There’s physical evidence.” he points at your legs. “I am a sex god.”

You fall back onto your back, laughing. “You’re such a goof.”

“And a sex god.” he says and you kick him.

“Quit it and go get me a towel.”

“Fine fine,” he backs off with a grin.

He tugs his clothes on before heading out the door.

You nearly pass out when you hear him say. “Yo Sunghoon guess what I just did?”

[angeloroki]

broken engagement. 2. — i. midoriya

— part one.

— character ; aged up!izuku midoriya x gn!reader

— genre ; angst

— warnings ; curses

— a/n ; part 2 bc you wanted it, but i never said it'd be fluffy :(

please let me know if there are any female pronouns (i'm doing it unintentionally sorry :/), i want to keep this writing as inclusive as possible!!

« hey.., it's me, again.

please call me back. i never wanted this. »

message deleted.

this was at least the 10th time you repeated the process. your ex-fiancé would leave you a voicemail, you'd listen to it all the way through, even though your friend advised you long ago to block him, and then you'd delete it, reluctantly.

maybe that's why he's been so insistent for the past month. the fact that you haven't blocked him or deleted him from your contacts could only give him hope.

and yet, you'd like to pick up the phone and tell him what an asshole he is. and that it was over, that you could never love him again, and even why not lie to him and tell him you were seeing someone else, and blah blah blah.

but it was all wrong.

you still loved him, even after crying for days.

" i don't know if my feelings for you are strong enough to satisfy you. "

he had made you believe for weeks that the fairy tale you were living with him was real. it was a change from the cheesy endings in disney movies. what a bastard.

you sighed to yourself, gazing at the engagement ring that lay far away on the bedside table.

it gleamed in the moonlight, beautiful, representing the love izuku had for you. now it was just the bearer of the bitter words he had spat in your face.

you looked away.

« y/n hun, i'm going to a friend's house. it's my date i've been telling you about for two weeks now, i hope he's worth it or else you'll hear me complaining, she says in a weary voice. i left the dish in the fridge for you, and please don't resume your series on my netflix account, it's too boring to know where i left off. » your friend shouts from the front door.

you smile slightly.

« i'll try, but i can't promise anything. »

« hahaha, no but for real, i'm serious. anyway, see you later honey, and wish me luck. »

it's been a month since you moved in with your friend, she insisted that you stay with her until you find another apartment. and she was a good cook, so how could you refuse ?

you sat down in front of the tv, and resumed the series you had started. a pathetic love story, the married boy who falls in love with a woman who is pregnant, even though she is a virgin?

you rolled your eyes before turning off the tv. everything was about him, when you're on social media and you see a couple of friends already married, or when a jewelry commercial would be airing right when you turn on the tv, and of course the dates that are coming up on your best friend's side.

it's as if fate didn't want you to forget him.

you were going to have a piece of cake, and you were going to start a horror movie. just to chase away that too sad cloud over your head.

of course, your new roommate had finished the raspberry bush, and so it was her fault that you found yourself at 11pm, in the 24 hour supermarket, in front of an old shop window wondering if ice cream was better after all.

with a Ben & Jerry's in hand, you headed to the cash register to pay and quickly return to your blanket cave.

« ouch ! » you exclaimed.

you had just bumped into someone, who was strangely tall by the way. you were about to apologize and ignore the stranger, when his scent shocked you. it couldn't be possible ? he couldn't be standing in front of you, at 11 pm, in a supermarket, and especially more than 25 kilometers away from your old apartment. argh. obviously this is the only store in town that sells his favorite snacks.

« y/n... »

you finally dared to meet his eyes. he hadn't changed, no wonder, it had only been a month since you left, but you expected something huge when you saw him again. his well-shaped jaw made you want to cover it with kisses. no, stop, y/n. but he smelled so good. " i don't even know if i want to get married ! " that truth echoed in your head. fuck, you had almost forgotten that he had broken up with you.

« what ? » your voice was as hard as a rock.

without giving him time to answer, like last time, you left him hanging and headed for the exit. never mind the ice cream, you'll come and buy it another time.

« what do you mean what ? i've been trying to call you for a month. »

he followed you, leaving his groceries behind too. a breath came from your lips, forming a small cloud of coolness in front of you.

the situation was so cliché that a dry little laugh escaped from you.

« how strange ? i've been ignoring you for a month now. » you said with sarcasm in your voice.

he took your hand gently and suddenly at the same time.

« stop this, and let me explain. »

you felt the melancholy in his voice, his expression camouflaged by a big scarf couldn't hide all the tears he had already started to cry. you just wanted to hold him, to tell him that you were going to get through this together.

you repressed the urge.

no, he was being unfair to you and your feelings. so he didn't deserve your pity.

you disengaged yourself from his grip, and it was with some regret that you saw that he did not try to hold you.

« there's nothing to explain, midoriya. i was stupid not to see that you didn't love me as much. or that i loved you too much. so please let it go. »

« how can you ask me to let go of the love of my life ? stop being so sutpid. »

your eyes widened. did you hear right ?

« i beg your pardon ? was it me who said I didn't want to get married anymore ? was it me who rejected her fiancé for months for absolutely no reason ? was it me who broke your fucking heart when i was patient, and patient ? so don't talk to me about the "love of my life". »

he didn't answer, and a long silence fell between you. you had to bite your lip to keep your tears where they were, in the corner of your eyes. he just needed to say a word, a phrase or even a fucking onomatopoeia to make you stay.

the absence of an answer made you smile sadly.

« midoriya please forget about me. »

« you still have it? the engagement ring, i mean. »

you felt your throat tighten. no need to lie.

"indeed, yes."

a faint smile settled on his face, reddened by the cold. silently, you slipped your hands into your pockets. he was cute that way.

« ...miss your cooking, too. » he said half amused, half saddened.

your exhausted laughter echoed in the street.

« izuku, don't make it worse for yourself. » you said in a tired voice.

the fact that you called him by his first name brought the stars back into his eyes. your tongue came to moisten your lips, you wanted to feel his against yours. just once, before you went home. because you knew that your story wasn't a fairy tale. that even though you loved him madly, and maybe he loved you too, his sweet words couldn't erase the obnoxious behavior and insensitive words he'd thrown at you for weeks.

and most importantly -

a sweet warmth invaded your body, and his scent filled your nostrils. his lips against yours, you could only respond to his ardor. you melted under his caresses that flooded around your waist. your hands met his collar, and you drew him to you. deepening your passionate kiss, the air quickly ran out.

you abruptly pulled away from him. a look of bewilderment painted both your faces. it was unexpected.

« y/n, please... »

« i'll give you the ring back, but it's over. thanks for the kiss. »

yeah, thank you for the kiss izuku, it was a beautiful bitter farewell.

tagging ; @holykvn @iluvvhewer @0lissa0 @animesuck3r @dekusassistant @cyjstars @softbkg @bobbatea-and-hotchocolate @vegaolive @awizuku @maltese-sparrow @erens-s1ut @djmbgbeast @yyuuna @iliketobullydeku @tecna09 @sxmmio-o @lotusxcos @superblyspeedydragon @taceticbitch @joonie-centric @mishe-qm @ab456123cd @pluviophilefangirl @number1cokewhore @stans-nami @ravngers@quillvinrune