#someone start a jj struggle posts page

[featherandferns]

I got inspired by this post and deeped it probably a bit too much lol

"I can't read cursive".

It was the sort of thing his friends laughed at, giving scoffing remarks and rolling their eyes at JJ's quirkiness. He'd laugh too, shrug it off like he was in on the joke. But underneath was an insecurity; a panic as to why. He'd look down and the letters were merely scrawl. They were swooping and swooning characters that made no sense, illegible and intelligible. If he tried to focus then they'd start to dance around the page. He experienced that too, though to a lesser extent, with print text. It was as if the words were mocking him. Taunting him.

But being the way he was with school, nobody paid it much mind. Not even JJ. He didn't care for reading. He'd rather smoke or surf. Books were dull and drab, what with growing up in an education system that force fed Shakespeare down an eleven year old's throat. JJ started to skip class the older he got. He'd sneak off to the bathroom to light one up or just ditch the day entirely. Maths was a bore and science utterly useless in his planned profession of handy-man side gigs, and so the concern with his reading got swept under the rug.

He had tried once, though. It was when he was nine and they had been reading collectively as a class, playing 'popcorn'. Someone had innocently passed over to him and JJ spent a good ten minutes stuttering over his syllables and stammering over the vowels and constantans. He was so glad when he reached the end of the page and could pass the burden off to someone else. Afterwards, he lingered behind and spoke to the teacher. The sting of embarrassment lingered like a prick from a bee. But the teacher shrugged him off. You're still learning, they'd said. For some it takes longer. He'd been too humiliated to bring it up again. Future popcorns were spent with JJ being the class clown, making lewd jokes that had the other kids laughing until the teacher banned him from popcorn altogether. That was that.

"You can't read cursive?"

"It just...It's harder for me to follow, s'all," JJ halfway lies. He looks up from the card that you gave him to meet your gaze. Your brows are tugged together in concern and JJ immediately wants to crawl under the covers like a child, embarrassed beyond belief. But instead of poking fun like the others (as well-natured as they mean by it), you take the card back and clear your throat.

"JJ, I hope you have a wonderful birthday and get everything you ever want. You deserve it. With love," you read aloud. There's a warmth to your face and a meekness to your tone as you tell him your message. It was the sort of sweet thing someone recites in their head like scripture, keeping it safe on the page and not out in the world. Smiling shyly at him, you offer the card back out to him.

"Sorry," he mumbles. "Thanks, though. That's, uh...that's sweet."

You chuckle. "Well, I mean it."

JJ takes the card back with a smile and you lean forward, pressing a kiss against his cheeks. His face feels hot like sunburn. You sit back on your haunches, perched pretty on your bed, and then your smile dwindles into something of worry.

"Do you often struggle," you wonder, nodding down to the card, "with reading and things like that? I mean, is it just cursive?"

"I can read," JJ replies, a little defensive. You thankfully laugh.

"No, I know you can read JJ," you chuckle, shaking your head. "I just mean is it easy to read? D'you think you need glasses or somethin'?"

"I don't know," JJ murmurs, shrugging. He looks down at the card and closes it. His thumb swipes across the front. A small ruby red love heart bobbing on rolling waves as if it's a boat, alongside a phrase that JJ focuses desperately hard on to read. With you, I feel like I'm floating. It's something so unexplainably you to pick out. Clearing his throat, he looks back up at you. "Never really thought about it before."

Humming, you get up and walk to the bookshelf by your closet. You ponder for a moment before retrieving a thin paperback and taking your previous spot on your bed. A random page is picked out and you hold it out to him.

"Read this to me."

It's popcorn all over again. That same dreaded panic bubbles in his throat.

"Feels like I'm in school," JJ chuckles, hoping to play off his nerves. "You're like my sexy teacher or somethin'."

"Har har, you wish," you say with a roll of your. "Read, though. Please."

Sighing, JJ relents and takes the book. He squints down at the pages and tries and tries and tries. The letters won't cooperate. They jive and jig on the lines. Shaking his head, sighing again, growing frustrated, JJ blinks and focuses. The anxiety builds in his chest like a hammering train on tracks. As his lips go to form the first word, your hand on his has him taking pause. You smile kindly at him.

"S'alright. You don't gotta read," you tell him. You take the book back and close the pages and JJ feels like he can take a breath. Ditching the flimsy paperback, you clear the small gap between the two of you and cup JJ's face in your hands. The kiss the two of you share is tender, lingering like a mist. "I love you, y'know that?"

"Even if I ain't a reader?" He means for it to sound like a joke but there's a sincerity in JJ's voice. His insecurity that has been there since childhood, that fights to come out whenever he hangs with Pope, that growls with jealousy when you lounge back on the boat with a book. His insecurity that he isn't all that smart and maybe you - someone who lives and breathes education like a bong hit - would figure that out sooner rather than later, and find someone who is.

"Even then," you hum, kissing him again. "Just gives me another excuse to spend more time with you, huh?"

And when you put it that way, maybe it ain't all bad.

[missywritesfor7]

❤️‍🩹Lifeline | MYG❤️‍🩹

Synopsis: It’s long been controversial for idols to date, but idols dating each other can be really beautiful or a complete nightmare. When Yoongi's relationship with another idol is discovered, he decides maybe it’s time to break the taboo and show people it’s ok for idols to date. Instead, they find themselves caught in the midst of one media frenzy after another and struggle to keep their relationship as strong as it had been the past 2 years. Yoongi finds a self destructive way to cope, and it causes even more problems than it solves. As they fight for their relationship and their careers, they discover that sometimes, the only way to truly be free is to let go.

Pairing: idol!Yoongi x idol!OC

Warnings: nsfw, alcoholism, cheating, depression, anxiety, Yoongi goes through a bisexy ho phase, Yoongi is also in his alcoholic phase, post-military BTS

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Ch. 17: Emotions

Treatment isn’t easy for Yoongi. Dealing with the effects of withdrawal is one thing, but having to face his feelings head on is the hardest. He’s felt like quitting a number of times, but every evening he gets a message from Hyeri that reminds him why he’s doing this.

Hyeri had tried to limit her communication with Yoongi while he’s in treatment. She thought it was nice that they allowed him to keep his phone, but she had done a bit of online research and came to the conclusion that talking to him too much could do more harm than good. She keeps her messages down to a summary text at the end of each day. She does her best to only send positive messages. Nothing about her now daily conflicts with JJS, or how she’s been searching for a way out because they continue to treat her like she’s a troublesome burden. That stress she’s been carrying on her own.

For Yoongi, he only knows what Hyeri tells him. So in his mind she’s doing perfectly fine. She’s working hard and simply waiting for her next role. He’s happy that she’s doing well and it helps him relax more knowing he doesn’t have to worry about her.

Although he’s still allowed internet access he hasn’t spent much time looking at social media. He did once and he came across the ever vicious rumor mill spreading lies about Jimin owing a gambling debt to someone. It was so ridiculous that all he could do was laugh, but when he had his session with Minho the laugh turned to a cry.

Up until then he mostly spoke about Hyeri and himself in his sessions. That day he had to explore his feelings towards his members and that hurt him more. It was never a question whether he loves them, but he didn’t realize how much of their pain he put on himself. The rumors about Jimin were laughable, but Yoongi took it personal. He felt bad for Jimin being dragged through the mud for no reason and he felt helpless to do anything to protect him. Someone as sweet and selfless as Jimin doesn’t deserve that. None of the members do. After that, Minho suggested Yoongi stay away from socials and so he did.

Until today. While having lunch he found himself going down a rabbit hole that simply started with him trying to figure out the type of wood that was used in the construction of the cabin he’s staying in. After reading the history of log cabins around the world and the best wood for different climates, he saw a random Naver article at the bottom of the page he was on that caught his attention.

Rainbow heard arguing with manager, acting career over?

Laugh. He’s supposed to laugh these things off. He’s telling himself to laugh. He’s not laughing. He’s watching a video taken of Hyeri and he’s not laughing at all.

He knew not to click the article. He knew not to play the video someone candidly took from their cell phone. He knew better but did it anyway. The video shows Hyeri yelling at her manager in a rage. He hadn’t seen her like that with anyone other than him. The soft spoken Na Hyeri was unloading on her manager about the jobs she’s not being offered and how they keep lying to her about it. She mentions being forced to accept tiny roles for no money because they’re punishing her for telling the truth.

Last night, Hyeri had a shoot for what she was told was a commercial for a new perfume. What it turned out to be was a small budget shoot for an amateur made air freshener spray. When she learned that the shoot was unpaid, which they also lied about at first, she unleashed her rage towards her manager.

Hyeri thought they were alone. She asked to speak to her manager out back. She had no idea someone was standing by recording for some reason. Almost as soon as it happened, the video was everywhere. She’s horrified by the invasion of privacy and even more horrified that she once again finds herself the center of controversy.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, she gets a message from Yoongi today asking her what’s going on and if she’s ok. Last night when she got home after the entire fiasco, she sent Yoongi her usual text telling him she had a small shoot and that was it. Now it seems he’s seen the news and she knows he’s not too happy about her not telling him about how bad things have gotten between her and JJS.

She admits that things have been rocky, but she didn’t feel it was anything she needed to worry him about. Of course now that he knows, it’s got him more worried than if she had told him from the start. Once more her silence has caused the exact thing she wanted to avoid.

Unconvinced that she’s ok, Yoongi decides to call Hyeri. Until now they’ve only texted each other. They both agreed that it would be best that way until he’s made it through the rough beginnings of his sobriety. Today he doesn’t care about that though. He needs to hear her voice to be sure she’s ok.

“You’re breaking the rules, Yoon-gya,” Hyeri chuckles when she answers.

“I think I deserve a pass this once,” he responds relieved to hear her voice and to hear that she doesn’t seem to be in any distress.

“You didn’t believe me when I said I was ok?” She jokes.

“You tend to lie about that a lot,” he chuckles.

“Look who’s talking,” she laughs softly.

It feels like nothing has changed but at the same time it feels the way it felt when their relationship was fresh and new. They talk about anything and giggle at how cute each other sounds for about an hour before Yoongi finally asks what he initially called her for.

“So are you going to tell me about the video?” He asks.

“I hate people always invading my privacy,” she huffs.

“What’s this about the roles you’ve been getting? I thought you were working on some commercials?”

“I was. It’s just that they’re small commercials. The small kind that don’t pay,” she admits with shame.

“Hyeri…”

“I know, but I tried to stand up for myself,” she says hoping for praise. “I finally told them how the way they’re treating me is bullshit. I found roles that I wanted to go for and they got upset about it.”

“I’m proud of you,” he says. He knows opposing anyone is hard for her. For her to stand up to JJS after she had been so complacent before is a big step. “You don’t even sound like you’ve been crying,” he jokes.

“I’m not the same Hyeri I used to be,” she chuckles. “But….” She trails off not finishing her sentence.

“But?”

“I’m still a little…scared I guess.” She didn’t want to admit to that. She doesn’t want him worried about her, but they had been having such a good talk that she was about to release her troubles to him out of habit. He’s her best friend and she had been holding her fears in since she couldn’t tell him. Now it’s out there and she knows he’ll try to pry every feeling out of her in an attempt to understand, comfort, and fix every issue.

“Scared of what?” He asks.

“Everything. Losing everything. JJS isn’t going to treat me right so I need to leave them, but then where can I go?”

“Have you been looking around?”

“Yeah, but what if I’m rejected by everyone? What if this is it for my acting career? I could go back to music but you know acting is my passion.”

“Baby, I’ve told you I can get you in contact with people. Anything you need. You don’t have to try to do this on your own.”

“But I can’t have you help me,” she sighs. “Not right now at least. You need to focus on you.”

“I’m doing fine. Let me know what company you want to go for and I can find a contact and get you in touch.”

“Yoongi stop.” This is exactly what she knew he would do and exactly why she didn’t want to say anything. “I mean it. I’m scared but I’m not completely helpless. Please focus on your recovery and don’t worry so much about me.”

“I know,” he groans. “It’s just hard when I’m away.”

“What’s going to convince you that I’m fine?”

“I don’t know,” he huffs. “If I could see you or…hold you…”

“I just need you to trust me. If I’m not ok I’ll let you know.”

“Will you?”

“Of course. I promise. I just need you to trust me. Trust me and keep taking care of yourself. Can you promise me that?” She pleas.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I promise I’ll take care of myself. I promise I’ll be better so I can see you sooner. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. Don’t worry about me.”

“Can you at least promise me you won’t keep things from me anymore? I know you don’t want to worry me but I think I worry more when you don’t tell me what’s going on. Whether it’s good or bad, I just want to be able to support you.”

“I know. I promise, babe.”

“I love you so much, Bow.” She can’t tell but he’s suddenly holding back tears. Talking to her, hearing her voice is so calming to him. He misses her so much and though he knows this is for a better future, it still hurts to be separated from her.

“I love you too, Yoon-gya.”

Hyeri misses him just as much. Dealing with the stress JJS has had her under has been exceptionally difficult without Yoongi being there to comfort her when she feels overwhelmed. All she can do is ask herself what Yoongi would do. Every time she does she ends up in trouble or the talk of the town for a while. It’s not all bad though. She’s been walked over her whole life because she never felt like she had a voice and was afraid to speak up. Now she does and she feels good setting boundaries and fighting for herself. She fears for the future, but she at least knows she won’t let anyone walk all over her again.

Yoongi got an extra boost of motivation after talking to Hyeri. He was determined more than ever to return to her soon and healthy. He still worries about her, but hearing her voice and how she didn’t sound sad at all helped him feel better.

Minho has been helping a lot as well. Yoongi still has a long way to go, but Minho could always find a way to make Yoongi feel safe when he’s vulnerable. Each session he opens up more and he feels much lighter being able to talk about things he had been holding on to for a while.

His next session after talking to Hyeri, Yoongi is much more enthusiastic and bright. He tells Minho about their conversation and how he’s happy to be getting the help he needs so he can be the best for her, his members, and his fans. But especially Hyeri.

Only a week has passed since hearing Hyeri’s voice, but Yoongi feels like he’s made a lot of progress recently. He even sent a message in the group chat with the rest of the guys to tell them how he’s doing. He was optimistic and it was refreshing for the rest of the guys. They praised him for doing well and expressed how they can’t wait to see him again.

He’s in the middle of making himself dinner. Nothing special, just a simple pasta dish with a bit of steak. He found passion for cooking again and had been taking the time to cook each one of his meals. That’s just how motivated Hyeri made him.

He’s got his steak cooking in the pan and his pasta already in a bowl. Everything smells good and he feels great. To make things even better he gets a call from Hyeri. He hasn’t heard her voice since last week and he’s been dying to hear her again.

“Hey, babe,” he says when he answers.

“Hey,” she responds. “I wanted to call you because it would be easier than texting. I did it!” She shouts in excitement.

“Did what?” He asks confused but equally enthusiastic.

“I told JJS to go fuck themselves!” She giggles.

“You what?” He asks freezing in place.

“I’m done with them. I want to go for the lead in a super duper huge new series. It’s…maybe a bit ambitious,” she says shyly. “But I could at least audition but they tried to give me more bullshit about taking a break and being compliant so I told them to shove their compliance up their ass.”

“Wow,” he says in disbelief. She’s typically not the one to do such a thing, and certainly not when she hasn’t found another agency yet. “You really did that?”

“Yeah! I’m sick of them treating me like shit. I should’ve listened to you in the beginning and left them a long time ago.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what happens next, but I’m happy. They won’t stress me out any longer.”

“Baby, that’s incredible! I wish I could take you out to celebrate.”

“We’ll have plenty of time for that later,” she giggles. “I’m just happy to be free.”

“I’m happy too.” He pauses and thinks a moment before speaking again. “Are you at home?”

“Yeah,” she responds. “Of course I am, why?”

“I want to see you.”

“How? I mean you can’t.”

“Sure I can. I want to see you so let’s video call,” he suggests.

“What? I mean no, I think it’s too soon. We already broke the rule about not talking on the phone.”

“Just once,” he pleads. “Plus I want to show you the dinner I made.”

“I don’t know,” she hesitates.

“I’m switching to video,” he says not giving her a choice. He switches to video and waits for her to do the same. “Please,” he pleads again. “Just for a minute, baby.”

She gives in and turns the video on after rushing to try fixing herself up a bit. Her camera turns on and Yoongi can instantly see why she was reluctant to video chat.

“You’ve been crying?” He asks noticing how her eyes are just a slight bit puffy. Her attempt to hide under the shadows of the low lighting in the bedroom wasn’t enough to fool him.

“No,” she lies.

“Hyeri!” He fusses.

“I mean I’m a little scared, I told you that.”

“But you’ve been crying.”

He wants to protect her. He wants to hold her and make sure she never cries alone. He would fix all of her problems and wipe every tear. She knew he would feel this way and that’s why she didn’t want him to know she had been crying. His priority is her now and she doesn’t want it to be.

“Just a little,” she admits. “It’s a big step and the future is unknown, but I’m ok. I’ve got a few agencies that I’m looking into. Don’t worry about me, Yoon-gya, I’ve got this. I told you, I’m not the same Hyeri I was before.”

“You’re sure you’re ok?” He asks still not convinced.

“You’ll never believe me, will you?” She chuckles.

“No,” he smiles.

“What about you though? How are you doing?”

“I feel better each day. I feel better hearing your voice and seeing your face.”

“Therapy is good?”

“Yeah,” he boasts. “It’s going great.”

That’s the truth, Yoongi has been getting better each day. He makes progress in many different ways. However, every time he thinks he’s made progress in one area, something in an old but forgotten area pops up.

Hyeri has been happy with her choice. She isn’t getting work, but that’s all going to change once she signs with a new agency. Though that had been in limbo for a little while.

JJS decided they would sue Hyeri for breaking her contract. They want her to pay damages for not holding up her end, claiming she’s cost them lots of money. She’s terrified since she’s never been sued before, but she couldn’t stand by without countersuing for her own reasons. The lies and especially the unpaid roles they had her doing without telling her from the start that they would be unpaid.

Yoongi got Hyeri in contact with an attorney he knows and trusts. Hyeri was happy, because without company resources she didn’t know how she’d get an attorney. It’s all a mess, but they both feel optimistic. There’s plenty of proof that JJS were in the wrong so she hopes it will be an easy case.

Just because it seems like it’s an easy case, doesn’t mean it will be a quick one. While the case is ongoing, Hyeri managed to land a deal with a new agency about two weeks after telling JJS to shove it. She’s ecstatic and eager to get working again.

Yoongi feels good that she’s found a new company. He’s happy that she seems in good spirits despite how long her case is taking in court. He’s happy that she’s happy. He’s happy.

He’s outside laying on top of the picnic table staring into the sky. His jaw is tightly clinched and his ears are welled with tears that have rolled down the side of his face. He wants a drink so bad right now.

He was fine at first. He started his day with some fruit and iced coffee. He played on his keyboard that he had brought in so he could work on music. Then he went walking outside a little. During his walk his mind started wandering as it typically does. But for some reason his mind was on Hyeri. Not that that’s unusual, but the thoughts went from typical longing to pure anxiety.

He knows Hyeri is trying to stay strong, but he knows her too well to believe that she’s doing as ok as she says she is. He’s worried about her. Worried that she’s going to bed sad and alone every night. Worried that he’s been away too long. Worried that something else may happen to her and he won’t be there for her. He still has the image of her car accident in his mind and he still hasn’t fully forgiven himself. As a matter of fact, he hasn’t forgiven himself for anything.

When he talks to Minho it’s always productive. He’s forgiven Hyeri for the way she handled things with the dating rumors both times. He thought he forgave her before but realized he hadn’t. Thanks to Minho’s help, Yoongi has been able to move past that. He’s talked about other things since, but hadn’t quite realized that deep down he still hates himself.

He’s staring at the sky through his tears wishing he could just have one drink. Something small to take the edge off. He thought there had to be something in that house or even something the doctor may have left behind in the second cabin after he left. Nothing. Yoongi searched and searched and found nothing. Now he’s sad and irritated.

“Is that comfortable?” Minho asks approaching the table. He’s arrived for today’s session but didn’t expect to find Yoongi crying on the table.

Yoongi doesn’t move, he only sighs in more frustration because he didn’t realize what time it was. He didn’t realize he’d been on the table crying for 3 hours.

“What’s going on?” Minho asks softly.

Yoongi shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk. If he opens his mouth he won’t be able to speak through the sobs.

“Did something happen?”

Yoongi shakes his head again.

“Can you tell me what you’re feeling right now?”

Yoongi opens his mouth but no sound comes out. He doesn’t know how to describe what he’s feeling, he just knows he wants a drink.

“I-I…” Yoongi stutters. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “I can’t do this.”

“Why?” Minho asks.

“I let her down too much. I can’t go back home to her.”

“I thought you wanted to do this so you could be what you feel she deserves.”

“I do, I just…I’m going to find a way to fuck it up again. She doesn’t deserve that. She deserves someone that will be by her side and take care of her. Not someone who will drink himself stupid and cheat on her.”

“Has she told you these things?”

“Come on,” Yoongi scoffs. “She’s not going to actually say something like that. She’d be too afraid to. Even if she hated me she wouldn’t hurt my feelings. I know that much, and that’s why she deserves better.”

“Are you wanting to end your relationship with her?” Minho asks placing a hand on Yoongi’s arm.

“No…I mean no…she…” Yoongi sputters.

“You think she deserves better, and you think you wouldn’t be it for her. That sounds like you want to at least end your romantic relationship with her, right?”

Yoongi lets out a pained wail and begins sobbing heavily. His chest is burning and it’s excruciating.

He just wants a damn drink.

[jungsungchans]

WayU Presents: WKH101 - Intro to Hendery!

happy birthday to wayv’s talented, hardworking, and incredible wong kunhang! i hope your day is as wonderful as you are. 

[writingjjfics]

What about kook!reader who’s the nicest girl on the island she’s good friends with kid and jj has a crush on her so he gets nervous every time he sees her or she hangs out with them

Unexpected love

Pairing: JJ Maybank x kook!reader, Platonic!Pogues x kook!reader

Warnings: Nothing I can think of *(but correct me if I'm wrong please)*

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: I hope you meant Kie haha! Thanks for the request love, hope this is what you had in mind.

I'm so sorry for all the late updates, I've been struggling with writers block and I feel like everything I write is bad. Besides, English is not my main language so that makes it more difficult for me.

Keep sending me requests tho. I still love to write every change I get.

& Thanks for all the likes and reblogs I've received on my other posts in the meantime. I appreciate it and it means a lot to me ❤️

"You sure he is okay with me being there? He always ignores me", you said to Kie as you walked toward the chateau.

Earlier in the day, when Kie invited you to hang out with the Pogues, you were instantly excited. You haven't known them for very long, but you loved to spend time with them. Aside from that, you don't have many other friends. You live as a Kook, but you're actually a Pogue at heart, which doesn't make you very popular. You hated most Kooks, Kie being the only one who understood you. You soon became good friends with her and after a while, she introduced you to the rest of the Pogues.

"That's just JJ being JJ, don't worry about it. He needs a little more time to gain people's trust, but he'll come around soon", Kie reassured you.

You blushed while talking about the blond pogue. Your crush on the boy grew stronger by the day, even though he clearly shows no interest in you. It's not that he's mean to you, he just acts differently toward you than the rest of the Pogues. Like he's uncomfortable having you around. At first, you thought it had something to do with you being a Kook, but he was acting normal towards Sarah, so that couldn't be it.

JJ ignores you most of the time, but not because he doesn't like having you around or doesn't trust you as a Kook. No, it's completely the opposite. He ignores you because he is afraid of his feelings. He's not the type to fall for someone this quickly, but the moment Kie introduced you to him, he felt different. He wouldn't call it love at first sight, but it was definitely something. He didn't want to get you into his bed like all the other girls, well maybe he did, but he also wanted more. However, when you approached him to introduce yourself, JJ went into a complete blackout and could no longer form sentences. His normal flirty self wasn't there. So he stuck to a basic 'hey', but it came across as very rude. Like he didn't want you there. He hates the way he acts around you. Especially since you're being nothing but nice to him. You are the sweetest person he has ever met and he makes you feel unwanted just because he can't handle his feelings.

"I hope so"

Kie already knew there was something else going on with JJ. She started noticing the secret looks JJ gives you when you aren't looking and caught him stalking your Instagram page a few times. She's not going to tell you tho, that's up to JJ.

----------

Not much later, you and Kie walked to the porch of the Chateau where the rest of the Pogues were already in full conversation, though JJ was not in sight. You thought that was weird, wondering if it had anything to do with you coming here. Not knowing JJ went to the bathroom for the hundredth time this day because he was so nervous and had to 'take a piss' every 5 minutes, including checking every time if he still looked decent enough. You greeted everyone else and sat down when you heard footsteps coming from inside.

"Yo, what's up with th-", JJ said as he walked out of the Chateau, but stopped halfway through his sentence as soon as he met eyes with you. You smiled at him and greeted him kindly. He only mumbled something unintelligible, waved weakly, and quickly returned to his seat next to Pope. You could tell he was trying his best to avoid eye contact with you.

ouch, this hurts more than you thought

An uncomfortable silence followed. Everyone had noticed the uneasy scene between you and JJ. You glanced at Kie and she gave you an apologetic smile. She knew his act was bothering you.

After a few seconds, John B cleared his throat and continued the story he was telling before JJ interrupted him. Everyone else joined in except you. You zoned out, wondering again why the blond boy in front of you disliked you so much and how the hell you decided to fall for him. However, you snapped out of it when the boy in question suddenly stood up.

"I'm going to get more beer"

Not a minute later you also got up and announced that you had to use the bathroom. But what you really intended to do was to confront JJ. You've had enough of him ignoring you without having a reason. And if there was a reason behind it, you were ready to find out.

You walked into the Chateau and saw JJ looking in the fridge.

"Why do you ignore me?"

JJ was startled and jumped up a bit, not thinking you'd be behind him. He quickly pretended that he was meant to do that before answering nonchalantly.

"I'm not ignoring you"

"Yes, you are. Is it because I'm a kook? Or just annoying?"

"It's just because you're new. I need more time to get used to someone extra in this group. Don't take it so personally. It's not that big of a deal. Not everyone has to like you, you know"

JJ's words came out much more blunt than intended. Almost like he was mocking you for wanting everyone to like you. You nodded and bit your lip to avoid the tears coming up. You weren't used to people being harsh at you and you clearly couldn't handle it well.

"If you don't want me here just say so"

At this point, JJ saw the pain in your eyes. He figured you didn't like the way he treated you, but he never thought it would hurt you so much. This was never his intention. He hated seeing you like this. He hated himself for it. When he noticed you were ready to turn back around to go outside again, he exhaled nervously and quickly grabbed your hand to get your attention.

"Wait Y/n, let me explain please"

"What's to explain? You made it pretty clear you don't want me here"

You yanked your hand from his grasp and made your way to the door, only to be stopped abruptly when you nearly bumped into someone. That someone is JJ. He had quickly run ahead of you to stop you.

Your first reaction of being annoyed that he was in your way didn't make you realize how close the two of you were. You looked him in the eye and for the first time since you met him, he looked right back at you. As if he finally saw you. It gave you butterflies and made you forget that you were, in fact, angry at him. When JJ noticed your expression had changed, he knew he had to speak up.

"Please just listen"

By now you had become curious about what he had to say and you noticed he struggled with his words. Deciding to give him a chance to explain himself.

"Okay, I'll listen"

"Can we maybe sit down? That makes it easier for me", JJ chuckled nervously.

This was the first time JJ had spoken more than just a few words to you. It felt good to have his attention. You hoped that after this conversation, you could both forget the past and become friends. Although you still had a little hope for more.

Meanwhile, you and JJ had sat down on the couch, both at the very end on each side, leaving a lot of space in the middle, and JJ played nervously with his rings avoiding your gaze.

You waited for JJ to start talking while JJ waited for himself to get the courage to tell a girl for the first time that he had feelings for her. Actual feelings and not the usual 'I'm drunk and horny and I want to hook up with the first, possible girl I see' feelings. This was all new for him.

"I, uh- I want to apologize for how I've been acting around you", JJ started but you interrupted him quickly.

"Yeah, you really acted like a dick toward me"

But when he glanced in your direction and quietly told you to let him finish, you understood not to interrupt him anymore.

"Sorry," you laughed nervously. "go on"

"I know I made you feel unwanted and uncomfortable, and I'm truly sorry. And I know you feel like I don't like you and don't want you here, but I assure you I definitely don't feel that way. The way I act is because I don't really know how to behave around you. You make me feel things I'm not used to and I don't know how to deal with them. I like you Y/n. And that's a first for me. I've never felt this way for anyone and I think every time you were around my head just got errors because of the unknown feelings. I'm so sorry I hurt you because of it"

You frowned, confused if you had heard him correctly. The JJ Maybank had feelings for you?

"So you're telling me you acted like this because you like me?"

JJ nodded and let out a soft "yes" with a nervous laugh.

"Oh my god", was all you could say as you let yourself fall deeper into the couch. It made JJ feel insecure. He wanted to run to 'his' bedroom across the living room, pack his bags and move to Yucatan so he wouldn't have to deal with the pain of rejection. But as soon as he indeed planned to run away you finally spoke up.

"I can't believe I've tried so hard to ignore my feelings all this time. All because I thought you wouldn't like me in any way with the way you behaved towards me. I thought I was stupid enough to like someone who showed absolutely no interest in me"

"I'm sorry for making you feel-", JJ began but stopped when he realized what you were actually confessing. "Wait, so you like me too?"

"Sadly yes", you said teasingly with a big grin

"Oh shut up, like it's a bad thing to fall for this?", JJ reacted cockily while he pointed to himself and his body.

You started laughing which made JJ laugh too. He loved seeing you smile and he was finally the reason for it.

After a few seconds, JJ cleared his throat and became serious again. "So, can I take you on a date?"

"If you promise to talk more than 1 sentence and look me in the eye, I would love to go on a date with you"

JJ rolled his eyes playfully which made you laugh again.

"I promise Y/n"

[lovelykhaleesiii]

Newcomer: Chapter 2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x fem!Reader

Words: 2.3k 

Summary: The Outer Banks was a place you’d only heard of until recently. The unfolding changes in your life had led you to this very moment, and it appears you still have much to learn... 

Warnings: swearing, (***) minor time jumps 

A/N - sorry for the delay, had a huge assignment due and work <3 I know this is a slow ass start to the series, but trust I’m trying to build momentum LMAO 

It had been just over a week, and seemingly still trying to settle in. Majority of your belongings, clothes and other sentiments have now been unpacked and neatly placed away in their new space, although you felt the hardest part wasn’t over just yet. Yourself, Caleb and Anya still struggled to find your way around town, mostly succumbing to the help of Topper, who despite initially being ever so welcoming, had grown slightly agitated from the coercion of having to always help. He’d be dragged out of whatever event or plans he had made, just to help out, especially during the grueling days of the unpacking stages of moving. Not to mention the not so discrete argument you’d overheard, just a few days ago, that he had with his mother, complaining about not being able to enjoy his own summer break. 

You couldn’t deny that your presence did somewhat impede on his break, therefore, the guilt was there. You knew you’d have to start taking on some accountability, with or without Topper’s help. 

“Y/N, can we just run to the store real quick, I need to grab a few things and you know how hopeless I am with directions…Please, come with, or else I’ll have to get Topper and we both know how much he loves-”

“Yeah, yeah-”

With a reluctant sigh, you tagged the page you’d just turned over in your book and propped yourself off the bed, adjusting your midi skirt before nodding in agreement. 

One of the most convenient things about the Outer Banks was that nearly everything was within walking distance. It gave you a chance to explore the scenic landscape and water front, and perhaps even chat with a few of the locals you hadn’t yet properly met. 

“So, how are things looking with that JJ guy? He seems pretty cute,” You intrigued, nudging your sister’s shoulder into conversation. 

“Yeah he’s great actually, he's a really funny guy. He, uhm, he wants to meet but-” 

“But what, Anya? That’s exciting! We sure could do with someone else’s company that isn’t Topper.” 

“Yeah, I know but, I, well we, don’t really know him that well. Who’s to say he isn’t some sociopath, Y/N.”

“I highly doubt anyone around here is a psychopath, Anya. Look around, this is a place people come around to relax or retire.”

“Don’t speak too soon, Y/N…”

For some odd reason, you hesitated in a response. Anya was right, you had no familiarity with the people of Outer Banks, although it just seemed like an outrageous place for crime. Ever since arriving, you felt some unexplainable ease here. 

“But I mean yeah sure. I’ll probably meet up with JJ some time… In public though, and you need to promise me that you’ll be on the lookout. Not like you’re busy with any plans at the moment, huh,” Anya remarks, as you appeasingly roll your eyes: God she could be so paranoid. 

“Yeah, yeah. I promise. Think we turn right up ahead-”

Continuing right on the pathway, you could just faintly decipher the movement of people bustling in and out of the stores, and with that a wave of relief settled over you. Seemed like you knew your way around after all, having doubts along each turn of the walk.  

“Make this quick, Anya, the sun’s starting to set, okay.”

“Whatever, Mum!” Anya quips, before rushing off into the convenience store, leaving your lonesome self outside waiting. 

You watched the crowd across the street at the diner, enjoying their dinner, as you observed the locals in action, contemplating who was who, as you heard Evelyn exchange many names with your father over endless dinner conversations. 

One name that stuck by you was “Cameron.” 

Evelyn mentioned it countless of times, although you’d simply assumed they were one of the many well-known families that had established themselves in town. There wasn’t much else you knew, or wanted to know. You hardly met anyone else outside of the house, nor were you in any rush to. 

“Hey!-”

Instantly snapping from your extensive thoughts, the familiar voice dragged you back to reality, as you turned your sight to its direction. 

“It’s Y/N, right? Anya’s sister! It’s me, JJ, the waiter-”

“Yeah, of course, I remember you-”

As formal and proper as your manners from childhood were, just as you’d gone in for a handshake, JJ wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in warmly for a friendly embrace, before letting you go. 

It had caught you off-guard, although not at all in a distasteful way. 

“How are you? How’s Anya?” He asked, folding his arms as he leant against the wooden post of the front deck. 

“Yeah we’re good! I’m sure Anya’s kept you posted, we’ve pretty much moved in now. How about you? I haven't seen you around.” 

“Yeah, I’ve been pretty good! Oh that’s great to hear, that would mean you guys are free to come to the Boneyard tonight!” 

“The what?”

“The Boneyard? Where we have this party with a kegger, Topper didn’t tell you?” 

By the puzzled expression reeked across your face, JJ knew to take that as an immediate no, not questioning it any further. 

“Well if you’d like, I could meet with you guys later and escort you there myself. There’s a few friends of mine I’d like to introduce you guys to.” 

“Yeah, sure. That would be lovely, JJ-” 

And as perfect as the timing could get, Anya returned from her little store run, stunned by JJ’s unexpected presence. 

“Anya- I was just telling Y/N, I’d love to take you guys out tonight to the Boneyard, I was going to text you about it before, but something with my Dad-” 

“That’s fine, but we just don’t know where exactly the Boneyard is.”

“That’s okay, JJ’s got us covered,” You exclaimed, before exchanging a friendly wink to JJ who just managed to catch it.

***

“You texted JJ our address right?” You persisted, growing anxious by the thought that perhaps JJ might’ve forgotten about you two. 

“Yes, for the last time Y/N could you just relax. He should be here any minute now!” 

And just on cue, in the close distance, the roaring sound of an old engine with dull headlights belonging to one of those old, retro “hippie” vans had pulled up through your drive-way. JJ’s head popped out excitedly by the window, waving for you guys to join, and immediately you both walked over. 

It was difficult to convince your father of going out tonight, in fact, he’d been pestering you both to get out and mingle. As soon as you’d both approached him with the idea of heading out to some party, he leaped with relief, and encouraged you both to take up the offer. He was easy going like that, trusted you both knowing how well he’d raised you both. Of course, he covered some basic ground-rules: no drinking, no drugs, no smoking. 

By the time you’d both arrived to the van, you could just make out the silhouettes of some figures inside the van through the grimey windows. JJ was out of the van, as the courteous man that he was, pulling the side door right open. 

“John B-” Pointing to the boy on the driver’s seat, who gave you a friendly wave, made himself known. 

“Kie-” A lovely, young girl, exchanged a gracious smile and nod to both Anya and yourself, before JJ finally introduced “And this is Pope-”, a young, pleasant man sat beside Kie. 

“Guys this is Anya, and her older sister Y/N. They just moved here like a week ago.” 

“Nice to meet you all, thanks for letting us join you guys tonight-” You warmly proclaimed, before gesturing Anya into the van with you following her behind. 

As JJ was carefully closing the door behind you, John B mentioned how JJ spoke of you two, confessing you to be the “mystery newcomers” before kindly welcoming you to the Outer Banks. 

You felt Kie’s over gaze fall between yourself and Anya, and felt somewhat intimidated, although it there was no threatening intent to it, however more of a protective sentiment. 

“So you guys are Kooks, huh?” Kie blatantly questioned, before Pope nudged his elbow into her, as though to signal her to stop whatever interrogation she had planned. 

“Sorry, what?”- Anya questioned in response, frowning as she looked around the van, back to you.

“Kie, stop. They don’t know about any of that stuff. Just drop it, okay!” JJ insisted, as he ran his fingers through his blonde locks, almost in frustration. 

“We really have no idea what this whole Pogue-Kook business is, but perhaps you could enlighten us one day, Kie-” You suggested, as amiable as possible, not wanting to already cross the line with the few locals you’d just met. 

“I sure will, I just can’t believe you guys live with Topper. He’s such an-”

“Ass?-” Anya intervened, finishing off Kie’s sentence precisely the way she intended, making Kie smile in agreement. 

“Yeah, I don’t think he likes us very much,” Anya confessed, and as much as you hated “gossiping”, you couldn’t deny this one. 

“Well Kie, you’re on to talk… What about your Kook year?” John B laughingly mocked, as Kie infuriatingly shoved his shoulder. 

“S-So what exactly is the difference between a Pogue and a Kook?” You intriguingly questioned, shifting your gaze from Kie to Pope. 

“Well, to put it short, Pogues live on the Cut, which I assume Topper would rather die than enter. Whereas yourselves and our Kie here, live on Figure 8,” Pope answered.

“So it’s just a social class thing?” You quipped, being reminded again of how very unprogressive things were around the Outer Banks. 

“Exactly!-” Kie shouted, a hint of relief, as though finally finding someone who’d shared mutual understanding with her cause. 

“I mean there’s more to it-” JJ added.

“But it’s best if you guys don’t get as involved, your only just new here-” He calmly reassured.

“Just keep an eye out for the Kooks, they usually come to these sort of events anyways for the booze they can’t afford-” Kie ridiculed. 

“Yeah, especially Rafe-” Pope uttered, his tone reeking of bitterness to the name. 

“Wait-Who exactly is that? The name just sounds familiar-” You brush off, not wanting to vex Pope any further. 

“Good God, he’s the worst of the worst-” Pope scorned. 

“An asshole-” Kie provoked. 

“He’s the older brother of Sarah Cameron, I’m sure you’ve met her. She’s Topper’s girlfriend,” John B confessed.

“HA! Topper has a girlfriend, since when?!” Anya broke out mockingly laughing: as Kie and JJ chuckled to her comedic outburst. 

“He must be that bad, huh?” You uttered, as the rest began to settle themselves. 

“He’s a terrible person, Y/N. If I was you guys, I’d avoid him at all costs,-” Pope insisted, although by the seriousness of his voice, it seemed more of a warning than anything. 

***

The Boneyard was a secluded location of the island, where the ashy white trunks of dead logs were arranged in a way to accompany large crowds, and rowdy parties far from the complaints of the adults. As you’d all arrived, kegs ready at the hand, the party had already commenced, as people from which John B described had consisted of Pogues, Kook and tourists. Regardless, all strangers to you. 

As you finally eased yourself into that party mood, you found yourself enjoying the company of the Pogues, they were quite the friendly bunch. And it seemed ANya was letting loose as well, no thanks to her new-found companions: it always seemed like an impossible mission for Anya to enjoy herself, although witnessing her from the standpoint of a bystander, you felt comforted. 

“I’m just going to go grab myself a drink-” You assured John B, as he nodded in agreement. 

As you crammed yourself through the crowd, you felt a tight grip pulling on your elbow, making you topple in the direction of whomever it was that grabbed you. 

“Topper, what the fuck?”

“How the hell did you get here, let alone find out about this?” He exclaimed, by the faint smell of the beer oozing with each breath, you could tell he was slowly becoming intoxicated.

“No thanks to you-” You snapped, before jolting your arm out of his strained grip. 

“Seriously, Y/N. Does your Dad even know you’re here?”

Before you could even respond, some sort of internal sixth sense, felt an intense pair of eyes on you. As you shifted your gaze, to a bunch of people standing behind Topper, you’d immediately recognised his face. 

For some odd reason you felt a shiver crawl down your spine, as though in fright of seeing some ghostly figure. His intense, blue eyes just fixated on you and only you, as he took sips of his drink, with one hand snugged away in a front pocket. It seemed he was in conversation with a bunch of other guys, all dressed quite similarly to one another in their polo shirts and summer shorts, and yet he was not at all engaged... Only to you.  

“Earth to Y/N!” Topper loudly interjected, stirring you to snap back, as you fixed your view on him. 

“Y-Yes, yes he does. Now could you just let me be?” 

And before you knew it, you instinctively stormed off, before Topper had the chance to drunkenly question you any longer. As you disappeared into the crowd, heading for the kegger, your mind persisted in contemplation. 

That was Rafe, surely. You vividly remembered the whole, minor incident during your first encounter with him. 

After what the Pogues had confessed about him, and by his looming nature, you’d never felt so unnerved by someone, you’d in fact, never even met.

But why?

TAGLIST - @juliep7654 @foggybanditgardenprune​

[thedumpsterqueen]

Standards of Performance, Chapter 6: Buckshot and Tequila

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

AO3 Link

Finally, I write most of the chapter before the day I’m supposed to post it. This was mostly done on my laptop (which I’m not used to) as we just moved and my PC is barely set up, so forgive anything that looks weird or wonky. As always, I hope you enjoy. I love getting all your kind messages <3 (Also message me if you want to be on the taglist - I suppose I should be better about that!)

Summary:  You’re the BAU’s newest intern, desperate to prove yourself amongst an established team of much more experienced profilers. Agent Hotchner, the seemingly infallible team leader, sets strict expectations for your performance. He commands your respect without even trying, but is there something more to your relationship than a simple desire to impress your stony-faced boss?

Chapter: 6, Buckshot and Tequila

Chapter Summary: Events during a new case test your ability to keep your feelings hidden, and a night out takes an unforeseen turn. 

Words: 3736

Rating: Explicit, 18+. Warnings on AO3.

Pairings: Hotch x Reader, Hotch x You

Turns out, lying to Hotch was easier than you thought.

It helped that you were lying to yourself too, of course - that you pretended your gaze didn't linger on his form whenever he was in your vicinity, that the swell of pride in your chest when he agreed with something you said was purely professional. There were times, though, that the facade was much harder to maintain. The most recent case had been one of those times.

You had been tracking down an unsub abducting children in a rural Iowa town. Three kids had gone missing in the span of two weeks, and after Garcia matched the victimology and MO with neighboring states, it looked to be close to a dozen in the years before that. The case started off rough enough - locals refused to believe it could be one of their own, police resisted the BAU’s guidance, the usual - but it came to a head when a fourth child went missing during the investigation.

Thankfully, the team figured out the identity of the unsub relatively quickly. Reid did a geographical profile of all the locations where victims were taken and found a public health clinic that had branches in each area. Garcia cross-checked the employee records to find that only one doctor had done travel shifts at each clinic during the time the children were taken, and within minutes, you were rushing to his address.

The SUV carrying Hotch, Rossi, and Prentiss arrived long enough before yours that by the time you pulled up, they were already kicking down the door and entering the home. The first thing you heard after you flung the car door open was the deafening crack of a weapon firing, and despite your lack of training with firearms, it was apparent that it was not an FBI-issue pistol.

You would never describe yourself as fragile - you couldn't be, not in this line of work. But when you registered the implications of that sound, your knees buckled, instantly bringing you down onto the dusty ground outside the farmhouse. The rest of the team sprinted in, guns drawn. You faintly registered Prentiss yelling inside, then more gunshots, but your head was ringing so loudly from the visceral panic that you couldn’t make out anything specific.

When Hotch burst back out onto the porch, you thought you might honestly sob with relief. That is, until you caught the glint of the sun in the slick, dark blood dripping down the sleeve of his suit.

That was when you puked.

Something about the sight of Aaron Hotchner bleeding felt so wrong that even as you struggled to your feet and stepped over the pile of sick you left in the dirt, even as you got closer and saw the rivulets of blood drip down to his fingertips and dot the wooden floors of the porch, you felt like you were in a dream. Your mind couldn’t grasp the sudden shock of his mortality, that he could bleed, that he could die, even, and he very well might, depending on what vessels were hit. You made it up the steps, only managing to call out his name - his first name - your throat still burning from bile. Despite the chaos of the current moment, he still whipped his head around at the sound of that, as if hearing the name Aaron desperately falling from your lips was more attention-grabbing than the rest of the team gathering around him trying to stem the bleeding.

“It looks worse than it is,” said Rossi, peering through the holes in Hotch’s mangled sleeve. “It was just buckshot, and he barely hit you. Nothing a few stitches won’t fix.”

He turned out to be right, thank god, and later that afternoon, Hotch was freshly bandaged and sitting across from you on the return flight to Quantico.

So, yeah, the “lying to yourself” thing wasn’t going so well at that moment. Hotch was absorbed in paperwork while the rest of the team napped - because of course he was; even being shot didn’t sway his apparently relentless refusal to relax - and each time he winced at the movement of his arm, your vice grip around your chest tightened a little more.

He must have sensed you staring, because he looked up, frown softening slightly as he saw the concern on your face.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” he assured you with a half smile.

Teetering on an emotional precipice, too scared to respond for fear of falling over the edge, you went back to your reading. After a few minutes of listening to him write while not turning a single page in your book, he set his pen down and took a breath.

“You were screaming my name,” he said, quietly, despite you two being the only ones awake.

“What?”

“Earlier,” he clarified, “when we went into the house. I could hear you outside, yelling my name.”

You looked at him, incredulous. “Of course I did. I heard the shotgun go off. Clearly,” you gestured at his arm, “I had a reason to be worried.”

He shook his head and cleared his throat, as if you didn’t understand the question. “Dave and Emily were with me. Any of us could have gotten hit. You only yelled for me.”

Oh.

You shrugged. “You’re the team leader. It’s my instinct to call for you when something goes wrong."

It was a lie, and a bad one at that, but Hotch gave you an unreadable look and let the subject drop.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, and when you finally made it back to your apartment, you had no plans other than to sleep off the stress of the case and the embarrassment of Hotch calling your actions into question. Garcia, however, wasn't about to let that happen.

BAU-tiful People Group Chat

Garcia: *added You to the conversation*

Garcia: Ok, my lovely children, I know you’re all tired, but I miss your faces, so I’ll see u at Whimsy tonight at 9! Notice I didn’t use a question mark bc it is NOT a question!

You knew from overhearing the team talk that Whimsy was a bar downtown they liked to frequent, but you’d never been invited before. Despite your overwhelming exhaustion, the idea of going out with the team, of finally feeling accepted by them, was enough to make you amenable to the concept. It may have seemed insignificant on the surface, but Garcia adding you to their group chat was the biggest welcome gesture you’d received yet.

Morgan: Only if you wear that dress you know I like ;)

You lived for the day they would realize they were actually flirting with each other instead of just pretending to.

Prentiss: Garcia… you’re killing me… but you know I’ll be there.

JJ: Contacting the babysitter as we speak.

Morgan: Fuck yeah!!! Pretty Boy, you in?

Reid: Can’t we ever go somewhere quiet?

As the group chimed in with various iterations of, “Shut up, Reid,” you hesitantly typed out a text to confirm your attendance. You were excited, of course, but nervous to be the new kid at their favorite hangout. After today's events, though, the desire not to be sober won out over nerves.

You: I’ll be there! Thanks for the invite!

Rossi: Hope you kids are ready for me to drink you under the table, as usual.

Morgan: Eyyy, you KNOW we party hard! See y’all tonight.

____________

Turns out, Morgan was not exaggerating. Not even a little bit. By the time you arrived, 15 minutes late, everyone looked to be at least 3 shots deep. Garcia ran over to greet you, squealing, and wrapped you in a suffocating hug.

“I’m so glad you came! What do you drink? Tequila? I’ll grab the next round!”

You laughed and confirmed that tequila sounded great, and as she scurried off to the bar with Morgan on her heels, you had a chance to look around.

The atmosphere of the club surprised you - it was all glass and steel and modernity, packed with people dancing to something with intense bass - not the low-key joint you’d pictured the team wanting to unwind at. But as you watched JJ, Prentiss, and Rossi cheer on Reid as he threw back a shot, doubling over in hysterics as he coughed and sputtered at the taste, you realized that this place was just loud and energetic enough to keep them from thinking about anything other than work. In that way, you definitely saw the appeal.

“I come bearing shots!” Garcia yelled as her and Morgan made it back to the table. “Grab yours… here we go- whoops! Alright, everyone got theirs?”

She turned to you, grinning behind a pair of hot pink spectacles. “Cheers not ONLY to rescuing four kidnapped children alive, but also to our lovely intern and her first Whimsy outing!”

The team erupted in cheers and you smiled back, downing the tequila. You chatted with the group while Garcia ordered more drinks, and then more drinks, and soon you felt a pleasant buzz filling your head.

“Morgan, you better ask me to dance right now before I go find another man to do the job,” Garcia said with a wink in his direction.

Morgan grinned and mock-bowed, holding out a hand for her to take, and led her off to the dancefloor.

“Should we join them?” JJ asked around the table.

“Someone’s gotta make sure they don’t do anything worth getting kicked out for,” Prentiss shot back. You giggled and followed the girls, leaving Rossi and Reid behind at the table in the midst of a heated debate about childhood brain development that you couldn’t even hope to comprehend.

Not long after you started dancing, you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder and turned around, looking up into the stunning green eyes of a man who looked to be about your age. It was hard to really tell what he looked like in the dim lighting, but by the way Prentiss was giving you a thumbs up and mouthing, “Go for it,” from your side, he was good enough for you.

“Do you want to dance?” he asked above the music. You smiled and nodded in confirmation, letting him wrap his arms around your waist and pull you to his hips.

He knew how to move, that was for certain. He ground against your backside lightly, snaking his hands around your stomach. You weren’t used to this kind of thing - dancing with random men at bars, letting them touch you like this - but the combination of the music and the booze and the relief at the last case being over was making you feel more free than you had in recent memory.

You exchanged grins with Morgan, who was dancing a few feet away in a much more R-rated manner with Garcia. The man behind you (whose name you didn’t know, but who cared?) leaned down to kiss your neck and you arched against him in response, reaching up to run your hand through his hair.

Throughout the song, you had rotated back to facing the table where the rest of your team was sitting. You glanced over, saw Reid and Rossi still deep in discussion, along with another man in a black button-up with a very familiar side profile and-

Hotch.

Hotch was here, and as if the powers that be were insistent upon proving to you that the opposite of serendipity existed, at the exact moment you had that realization, he turned and made direct eye contact with you. Drunk, wearing a skintight dress, a random man grinding on your ass, and staring right back at your Unit Chief at the motherfucking Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Your heart dropped to your stomach, and if you had been drunker, you might have hurled tequila all over the dancefloor. Instead, you pulled away from the mystery man behind you, ignoring his shocked, “Wait!” and beelined to the bar.

“Tequila. Shot. Please, I’m sorry, just saw someone I didn’t expect to,” you blurted out to the bartender, swearing you could feel Hotch’s eyes on your back from across the club.

The bartender, probably having seen much worse, nodded in understanding and poured your drink. You gulped it down, wiped your mouth, and leaned on the bar to get your bearings.

It’s not weird. It’s not. It’s a bar, it’s outside of work hours, it’s perfectly fine that you’re buzzed and dancing and having fun. Everyone else is!

Really, it wasn’t that you were worried about your job, or even that he would judge you (he probably would, but that was unavoidable regardless of the setting), it was just that you hadn’t mentally prepared yourself for the possibility that he would come. He was in the group chat - obviously, if he had seen Garcia’s invite - but had never struck you as the social type, the kind of boss that would interact with his team outside of work.

“Did you see that Hotch is here?” Prentiss asked breathlessly, appearing at the bar beside you.

Apparently, you weren’t the only one surprised.

“I did,” you whispered back, despite the thumping music and the rowdy patrons making it logically impossible for your words to reach the table 20 feet away. “Does he usually join you guys?”

“Never,” she said, before thinking and correcting herself, “Not in years, anyways. When Haley… we used to drag him out, but we stopped after a while.”

“Why do you think he came tonight?"

She shrugged. “Who knows? Far be it from me to explain why Hotch does anything.” An idea seemed to pop in her head, and she grinned. “Maybe it’s because of you!”

“M-me?” Your reaction to the suggestion wasn’t nearly as nonchalant as you’d tried for, but Prentiss was too drunk to notice.

“Yeah, gotta help initiate the intern on her first night out, right?” She grinned and clapped you on the shoulder, then turned away to head back to the dancefloor, leaving you alone. You sighed, gathered yourself as much as you could considering the effects of the tequila, and turned around to go greet him.

“Hey, Agent Hotchner. Didn’t expect to see you tonight!”

“Yes, well. Thought I’d show up for a bit; it’s been a while.” He gave you a tight lipped smile then looked back down at his glass of whisky, the awkward energy palpable.

Probably because he just saw you basically dry-humping some random dude.

“Well, I’m glad you came! Feel free to, uh, come dance if you want! Morgan and Garcia are showing us all up,” you said, gesturing to where Morgan and Garcia were in fact drawing the attention of several onlookers.

He chuckled at that. “They’re certainly a sight to behold, aren’t they?”

You nodded in agreement and headed back to the bar, the brief conversation pointing you towards yet another drink. Talking to him was so easy , sometimes, and others it was like pulling teeth to get a human response out of him. Could you blame him, though? Your last one-on-one interaction was you basically inviting yourself over to his apartment with takeout and listening to him spill his guts about his dead wife and kid, and he probably felt uncomfortable with you after that, and then you went right to this case without any chance for things to go back to normal, and then he got shot, and oh my god, you didn’t even ask him how his arm was doing, how fucking rude can you be, dumbass? and-

“Whoops! Shit, I’m sorry!”

You looked at the person you’d just bumped into in the midst of your internal crisis.

“Hey, it’s you!”

The man you’d been dancing with earlier, now much more obviously handsome in the brighter lights of the bar area, grinned in recognition.

“Hey, I thought I’d scared you off there!”

You laughed and shook your head. “No, I’m sorry. Just saw my boss and freaked out a little bit.”

“Oh shit, your boss is here?” he asked. “That’s uncomfortable, damn. I’m sorry.”

“No worries, it’s just… yeah. Anyways. Wanna pick up where we left off?” you asked, more desperate than ever to get Hotch out of your head. If he didn’t want to see you having a wild night, he shouldn’t have come to the club.

He took your hand, looking pleased. “Lead the way.”

It really was so much easier, you thought, to let yourself feel attraction for guys like this. Uncomplicated, willing to take what you give them, no backstory to speak of. They weren’t riddled with tragic history, unattainable in both position and personality, not to mention impossible to even imagine ever returning your feelings. Guys like Cooper (you’d finally learned his name somewhere amid the grinding and groping) were easy and fun and they didn’t keep you up at night agonizing over whether that thing you said at work was impressive enough.

But then again, they didn’t give you the roller-coaster feeling in your stomach that Aaron Hotchner did every time you locked eyes.

And lock eyes you did - an increasingly frequent number of times, actually. It seemed like whenever you turned to face his direction, he was staring you down. He always went back to his conversation with Rossi and Reid, but you noticed that he seemed to get more and more pissed off with every song that played. His frown was deepened, his expression dark, and you could tell even from a distance that his knuckles were white from gripping his glass.

You shrugged it off as Hotch being Hotch - who knew what that man was thinking? And besides, you were trying to forget him, damn it. At least, that was until a particularly raunchy song came on and you were in the middle of getting your ass felt up, when you felt a hand squeeze your shoulder and whip you around, bringing you face-to-face with your boss himself.

“Hey, what’s going on? Is something wrong?” you asked, utterly bewildered as to why he was interrupting you.

He ignored you, instead staring down Cooper, who very quickly decided Hotch wasn’t one to fuck with and walked away.

“Hotch! Is there a case? Should I grab the others?”

He shook his head. “Can you come with me, please?”

Perplexed, you acquiesced (not that you had much of a choice, with the way he was gripping your elbow) and followed him through the crowd, out the back door, and into an alley. He let go of you then, sighing and crossing his arms.

Your mind was wild with questions - did you do something you shouldn’t have? Get too drunk? Everyone was drunk, though, and you weren’t even half as wasted as some of the others. Did Reid or Rossi tell him something bad about you? Were you about to somehow get yourself fired off the clock?

“The boy you were dancing with was bad news,” he said, after an uncomfortably long period of silence.

What the fuck?

“What the fuck?” you repeated, this time out loud, and you knew you shouldn’t be talking to him like this, but you were too caught off guard to conduct yourself more appropriately.

“He was a drug user,” Hotch said, as if that would explain everything.

“A drug user,” you repeated back, no less confused.

“Cocaine,” he continued. “He was high - his pupils were dilated, he was rubbing his nose, and he's been to the bathroom several times.”

“So… you’re going to arrest him? For doing cocaine?” you asked, still baffled as to what he was insinuating.

“What? No,” he said, “I’m trying to warn you not to get involved.”

You had entered some parallel universe, you decided. There was no other explanation for your boss, a man you’d known all of four months, dragging you outside a bar on a Friday night and telling you not to dance with a hot stranger because he was on cocaine.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself before you really did get yourself fired. “Sir, I appreciate the concern, but I don’t think it’s really any of your business.”

His face hardened at that. “It is exactly my business,” he said, eyes boring a hole through your skull, “to watch out for things that may compromise my team.”

“Compromise your team?” you repeated his words again. “I was dancing, not getting engaged to the guy.”

“Should I allow you to dance with a sexual sadist if it’s just dancing?” he pressed, using the stern voice that usually caused any sort of dissent to whither and die right in your throat.

It didn’t work this time, probably because he was acting fucking insane. “Are you seriously comparing a sexual sadist to a guy who does cocaine while he’s out partying?”

“It’s not just while he’s out partying, by the way he conducted himself, he was a chronic-”

“It doesn’t matter!” you said, nearly yelling now. “You had no right! I'm sorry, what are you, my dad?!”

His eyes flashed at that. “If I hadn’t already had to sit through an 8 hour surgery not knowing if Garcia was going to make it out alive because her date shot her, then perhaps I would have no right. But as it stands, I do. Please be more careful with who you associate with, even if it’s just dancing.”

He spat that last part out, more vitriolic than you’d ever seen him, and stalked back inside. You were left outside in the alley, alone, reeling from confusion surrounding the entire interaction and shock at the emotional charge he’d leveled at you.

Reentering the bar, you saw that Hotch’s seat had been vacated and his jacket was gone. You rolled your eyes, and on your way to the bathroom, nearly ran into Cooper again.

“Hey!” he said. “What was that all about? You good?”

You looked up at his face and for the first time, noticed faint traces of white dust around his nose. He looked keyed up, jumpy - his pulse racing and visible on his carotid. You sighed.

“I’m good. Just not in the mood right now, sorry,” and pushed past him into the bathroom.

Hotch was an emotionally stunted asshole with a control complex, but he was also never fucking wrong.

[aficwhore]

As I Lay Dying...(Part One)

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader, Team x Reader

Warnings: violence, language, near death experience, reader injury, slight fluff

Word Count: 2,655

Summary: After having a dry spell the team go on a case, the unsub is kidnapping and killing women around the reader’s age and appearance. As she goes undercover the plan falls through, will she survive? (slow burn, sort of?)

A/N: So I wrote the first half of this and it was super long, like way too long, so I decided to split this into parts! Please let me know if you liked it and if I should post the last parts as well! Feedback please!!!! <3

Reader POV:

My neck started to strain as I intensely stared at my computer screen. Deciding to take a break from my paperwork and reports, I shove my chair back with a huff.

“Anyone else need more coffee?” I asked as I made my way from the bullpen to our small kitchenette, earning a few no’s and hums from the team.

I rinsed my mug of my coffee leftovers. I reached to pull the fresh brewed coffee pot, pouring most of it into my cup and adding a small dash of creamer and sugar. as I leaned against the counter, sipping my caffeine, Penelope struts in, “Hey baby cakes!”

“Hey,” I smile sheepishly, taking another swig of my drink.

“What’s with the gloomy energy? Did something happen, love?” The blonde questioned sincerely.

I shrugged, “We haven’t had a case in a while, not that it’s a bad thing, but I’m sick of sitting and staring at a screen all day.” I explained as I pulled myself up onto the counter.

She laughed, “Darlin’ I do that everyday! But u know you’re not used to it, so i hope you get a case soon, wait, no-“

We both burst into giggles, knowing what she meant. “Woah what’s so funny in here?!” Emily inquired, while stepping into the room.

“Pen here just said how she HOPES we get a case soon.” I chuckled.

“Oh god, i hate to say it, but me - fucking - too.” Emily chimed in. She walked over, taking the last of coffee into her cup, leaving it black. “Y/n, you better get back to your desk before Mr. Boss Man sees you goofing around,” she smirked, leaving Penelope and I alone again.

I rolled my eyes as I slid off the countertop. “Well thanks for the horrible wish Garcia,” I snickered, nudging her side as I passed by, heading to my dreaded workspace. I walked by Spencer’s desk, he leaned back in his chair, feet propped up. I took the opportunity to smack the back of his head lightly earning a quiet yelp from the genius.

“What was that for?!” Boy wonder squealed. I shrugged hearing Morgan snicker. With a loud sigh, I threw myself in my rolling chair, causing it to spin me around. Already stricken with boredom I started bouncing my leg, leading to my chair to start squeaking. I ignored the noise, struggling to focus on my report I was supposed to be writing. Just when I began typing someone yanked my chair and I away from my desk.

“Baby girl, we get it, you’re bored, but damn you’re annoying,” Morgan spoke, his voice laced with laughter.

Blushing slightly, I complained, “I’m sorry! i can’t take another day of paperwork! I just can’t! how do you all manage it?!”

“We are just as irritated Y/n, we'll get a case soon, ask Hotch to take a break and go walk around or something. Just please stop the noise.” Derek said, patting my shoulder. When I stood up, Hotch rushed into the room.

“Conference room in 5, we got a case.” Aaron huffed.

I excitedly jump up, “YES! FINALLY!” Earning stifled giggles from Emily, Spencer, and Derek.

We all rushed to the conference room, files and pens in hand, eager to get out of the bullpen for a little while. “Okay, so we have a case in Arlington, Texas. Three women were found dead in several construction sites, gagged and tied with burn marks across their chest. Two other women were reported missing two days ago, possibly taken by our unsub.” Rossi explains with a hardened look making its way to his face. 

“Okay team, wheels up in 30.” Aaron chimes in, breaking up our silence. 

As a whole we head to the desks and grab our to-go bags., tidying up our workspaces, to be ready for our reports when we get back. “Y/n, can you sit with me on the jet, I want to sleep and you’re the only one who really lets me sleep on their shoulder and keeps me warm.” Spencer asks with a quiet voice. 

“Of course pretty boy, anytime for you,” I answer with a smile. The both of us walk to the jet side by side, hand brushing against each other, his skin soft and cold compared to my warm one. We stayed quiet the whole time, until we made it into the jet, situating our bags and settling in. Spencer takes a window seat at one of the tables, I sit next to him as Hotch makes his way across from us. 

Once everyone is settled and ready to go, the jet starts us on our journey. Soon after Spencer begins to snore while his head lay on my shoulder. “What book are you reading now, Y/n?” Hotch questioned, nodding his head towards the novel in my hands. 

Lifting it to reveal the title, “Full Dark, No Stars, by Stephen King.” He raised his brow in examination. “It’s a novel composed of four different stories. They’re about murder, love affairs, such and such.” I slightly giggled.

Aaron chuckled, “Don’t you get enough of that stuff everyday? On the job?”

“The writing fascinates me, I don’t know why, maybe the same way romance novels entice ‘normal’ people.” I claim as I shake my head, shrugging a little.

“You’re something else,” the dark haired man added, going back to the newspaper in front of him. I turn my attention back to my book, getting lost in the pages. Spencer shifted in his sleep, laying down in my lap, tucking one of his arms underneath my legs, pulling me closer. Just like instinct, I used my free hand to play with his beautiful long hair. He began to softly hum from relaxation.  It seemed like hours, with Spencer contently asleep on my thighs and my hand tracing shapes on his chest. 

I felt a light tap on my shoulder, “Pretty boy still asleep?” Morgan examined from the couch next to us on the other side of the aircraft. I nodded. “Good, because we need to discuss the issue at hand.” I slowly closed my book with a confused look, placing it gently on the table. “The unsub is after women like you, about the same age, same height, same hair color. We don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything but-” 

“I’ll do it,” I cut Derek off. I looked at Aaron who was now listening.

He cleared his throat, “Are you sure? We knew Spencer would disagree if we asked while he was awake. If you are comfortable with this, we can brief you on our plan.”

I bowed my head in agreement. “Can we just keep it from this one?” motioning to the doctor snoring in my lap. Both men nodded, leaving the conversation at that. The jet filling with silence again as everyone, but us three, slept.

A bell rang above us, letting us know that we’d be landing in a few. I mildly shook Reid awake. His darting his eyes open and making eye contact with me.“Are we there?” he asked groggily. 

“Yea, sleep good babe?” The nickname causing him to blush, the nickname was platonic, or used to be until recently, now you called him it because you began to fall for the young man, hoping he would pick up what you were putting down. Though you made several attempts to make your flirting noticeable, Spencer seemed to dismiss them, or maybe not pay attention to them. 

“Y-yeah, I slept good, I was warm the whole time, thank you.” He spoke, patting you on your leg where he slept previously. 

Emily stood up and stretched with a yawn. “Damn my back hurts, JJ took up most of the couch.” she grumbled. 

“Okay? You kept twitching in your sleep!” JJ countered with a groan. The two girls gather their things. Rossi remained quiet, putting his papers into his satchel and packing up. 

“Alright, we’ll head to the hotel, get a few hours of sleep and get to work first thing in the morning.” Hotch explained as he exited the aircraft, Spencer and I trailing behind. The short ride to the hotel was very quiet, everyone was already half asleep. As we arrived, Hotch spoke sleepily “Okay same as usual, double up, the rooms should have two beds, so Morgan and I, JJ and Emily, Spencer and Y/n.” He handed us our keys and made his way to his room.

JJ stretched and yawned out “Yep, definitely headed straight to bed.” Emily giggled and nodded, the two of them leaving us behind with a ‘goodnight’.

“I’m not tired so I think I’m going to head to the bar for a little bit,” Derek shrugged, picking up his go bag and waving at us as he left the lobby.

“Looks like it’s just you and me Boy Wonder,” I gleamed.

All Spencer responded with was a warm smile and leading the way to our shared room. We didn’t talk the whole walk, it was a comfortable silence. Once we reached the door, Spencer stepped back to let me use my key on the lock. With a content sigh I threw the door open to reveal a single bed and a tiny bathroom. No words were spoken as we settled in, each getting into our pajamas, and doing our nightly routines. He was the first to finish and dive underneath the covers of the squeaky bed without hesitation. We had shared a bed tons of times, but only for me recently, it made me a little nervous.

“Spence, can you maybe scoot over more?” I ask quietly.

“I’m on my half, there's plenty enough room for you still.” The genius spoke into the darkness of the room.

“Oh, okay, I just wanted to make sure we both had space.” I lied, queasy at the fact that I was going to sleep close to my best friend who I was in love with. Walking over and slightly pulling the cover back, I slid into the sheets, careful to avoid Spence.

“If you’re cold, you can come closer, I know how you like to sleep warm.” He suggested, lightly turning to his side for you to cuddle up to him.

Clearing my throat, “N-no, I’m okay. Thanks though, goodnight.”

He stayed hushed for a second, he seemed to be taken back by my response. “Oh...Okay.” He then rolled over, facing his back to me.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't, especially with my current situation. I didn’t want him to know that I love him, well I did, but I was afraid of what he would think. Does he love me back? Is this all just in my head? What should I do- and just like that, my rambling had put me to sleep.

The next morning I awoke to a light breath fanning across my face. Confused, I open my eyes to reveal a sleeping Spencer, pulling me tight against his chest, with my head in the crook of his neck. It was nice and serene. But it came to an end when I finally realized that I was cuddling him. I got up as quickly and as quietly as possible, careful not to wake the doctor. I rushed to the bathroom to get dressed and get the hell out of there.

But as soon as I attempted a run for the door, “Y/n? What time is it? Are we late?” Reid asks groggily.

“Nope! I just promised the girls I’d meet them downstairs for coffee!” I mislead, hurrying out the door and towards JJ and Emily’s room. Banging on the door I pleaded, “Please tell me you’re awake! I need you to open the door!”

The door swung open, “Woah woah! Slow down? What happened?!” Em questioned as you stepped inside to see that both her and JJ were up and ready.

“I don’t want to talk about it, can we just go get coffee or breakfast? Please?” I panicked.

The girls exchanged a look but nodded and followed me down to the small cafe the hotel had.

The walk down was quick, no one spoke. That was until we sat at a small table after ordering our coffees.

“So, you want to tell us what that was about?” JJ raises an eyebrow at me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I forced a smile.

“Oh you mean the fact that she’s in love with a pretty boy and has been trying to avoid her feelings?” Emily questions, knowingly, causing me to choke on my coffee.

Trying to dab the spilled coffee off my blouse I ask, “How do you know that?! I mean- what?”

The two girls giggle at me. “Just a hunch,” the brunette quirks. “Relax, it’s obvious he feels the same. He’s absolutely crass about you. Someone can barely say your name and the boy blushes.”

JJ nods in agreement as she sips her mocha. “You can’t avoid it forever Y/n, what's the worst that can happen?”

“Yea, I guess you’re right, I just don’t want things to change between us.” I explain.

“The only reason why they have right now, is because you’ve been making it weird! Stop that!” Emily states while waving her hand in the air to make her point stick.

“Okay okay. I’ll stop.” I lauroll my eyes with amusement. “But today, I have to focus on going undercover. Especially behind Spencer’s back for the most part.” I spoke, furrowing my eyebrows in worry.

“Y/n, it will be okay. All you have to do is dress up, walk a few street corners, and we’ll get the unsub. It’ll be done and over with and Spencer would have nothing to worry about. You’re a strong woman who can fend for herself.” JJ told me, in hopes to alleviate my stress.

I nodded, trying to ignore the growing pit of nervousness in my stomach.

“Hey pretty ladies, nice to know you didn’t give us the option of coffee and gossip this morning.” Derek claims as he makes his way to the table with Hotch and Spencer following shortly behind him.

Spencer caught my eye. He seems pissed off, a mean look splayed across his face. “Y/n, we need to talk.”

In shock I look at the faces which surrounded me at the table, “Um yea, let’s go out into the lobby.”

Spencer quickly left me behind as I timidly arose from my seat and chased him.

“When were you going to tell me?!” He forcefully asked.

“Tell you what?” I attempted to answer.

“That you were going undercover! That you were going to put yourself in harm's way?!” He slightly shouted.

This angered me, “I didn’t realize that I had to run my OWN decisions by YOU! Last time I checked, I was a grown woman. This is for the better, to stop this murderer! You are NOT my father, you are NOT my owner, and last time i checked, you are NOT my boyfriend!” I exclaimed back.

Spencer seemed taken back, his face showed shock and dismay. He was speechless, a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“What? NOW you don’t say something? Unbelievable Spencer.” I exaggerate, turning on my heel and leaving him to himself in the hotel lobby.

To Be Continued...

[thefandomlesbian]

you asked for prompts, so ive got two i guess, if you'd like - hotchreid, with insecure/jealous hotch and/or domestic jemily fluff

Okay, I’ll admit I... kinda missed the mark on this one, but I did try! D: 

Read it here on AO3! 

...

“All hearts float in their own deep oceans of no light, wetblack and glimmering, their four mouths gulping like fish. Hearts are said to pound: this is to be expected, the heart’s regular struggle against being drowned.” -Margaret Atwood

…

The first time Spencer says it, they're eating dinner together. Chicken mango pilaf over brown rice with chopped vegetables. Aaron is drinking apple juice. Spencer, who laughed at him for drinking apple juice, is drinking water. Aaron remembers these preceding moments with exact clarity, the brief silence that filled the room except for their forks scraping their plates, until...

"I think I'd like for you to choke me."

Aaron, ironically, chokes fairly immediately after this statement. He coughs a chunk of chicken, or is it mango? back into his plate and has inhaled some of the sauce that's now scalding the back of his throat, and he hacks, wondering if rice is going to come out of his nose, which is now streaming, and certainly because he started choking as Spencer spoke, he must've misheard. "You want me to what?" Poke me, toke me, broke me, woke me —

"Choke me."

The pit of Aaron's stomach flips in distress. The fork abruptly begins to tremble in his hand. "I—what?" He puts down the fork quickly to keep from dropping it and disguises his trembling hands by wiping around his mouth with his napkin. "I—Why? What? Who? Where?" He finds it impossible to form a coherent question, so he hopes Spencer will understand something from the noises he just produced and answer it.

Spencer's brows furrow. "You don't look too keen on the idea." Aaron makes another odd sound, something like clearing his throat passed off from choking on his food, and he's grimacing. "I dunno. JJ says she does it with Emily sometimes and it's fun. You know, during sex."

Aaron's whole body tightens up. "Yeah, I got that part." His face and knuckles blanche white. Even his lips lose color.

"I didn't know. You look kind of like I asked you cut my body up and pickle me into jars—"

"JJ told you to do this?"

"Yeah, JJ and Emily—"

"Stop, stop, I don't want to know." Aaron isn't sure of where this all came from, but with those clues, he is very sure he doesn't want to find out. "No."

Spencer frowns, not in an objectionable way, but in a thoughtful way. Clearly this conversation poked a whole bunch of needles into Aaron like bad acupuncture and then rolled him over on that side without taking the needles out. "Could we... Talk about it? You look pretty upset."

"No," Aaron says again. He tries to pick up his fork, but he fumbles with it and is unable to keep a grip on it. He's lost his appetite, anyway. He takes his plate to the kitchen, washes it off, and goes to shower with the door closed, like always—usually so Spencer won't see his upper body, but tonight so Spencer won't see the steam pour out of the room as he turns the water up all the way and scrubs himself until his skin is pink and raw.

Hours later, they're lying together in bed. Spencer drowses in a post-coital haze, his head on Aaron's clothed chest—besides Aaron's shirt, they're both naked. Aaron reads a book, or pretends to, but he hasn't turned a page in three and a half minutes, and Aaron usually reads about two hundred fifty words a minute, which means he's a minute and a half late to turn this page—

"Are you afraid of me?"

"Hm...?" Spencer blinks a few times to shake himself from his sleepy reverie. "What?"

"Do you—Do you think I would ever hurt you?"

"No, of course not. I would never think that." Aaron licks his lips and dog-ears the page (Spencer winces at this but doesn't remark on it) and puts the book to the side. "Are you okay?" Aaron was even more tender than usual tonight, and while ultimately it was for Spencer's benefit, he's concerned about its origins. Aaron has made it pretty clear he doesn't want to talk about the conversation earlier, but Spencer wonders how, exactly, a simple question got him so bent out of shape.

"Do you trust me?" Aaron presses.

"Yeah, of course. You licked my anus, like, ten minutes ago. I trust you not to give us E coli , which is the highest of compliments." Spencer tries to restore some levity to the conversation, since it's clear Aaron won't say what's actually bothering him, and Spencer doesn't particularly like to hold these long conversations completely in the dark.

His attempt doesn't assuage Aaron. "And you trust me not to hurt you? Or put my hands on you, ever?"

Spencer rolls over in his arms to look Aaron in the eyes. "Aaron," he says gently, "I trust you never to let any harm come to me, ever. That's why I asked you to do that." Aaron looks stricken. "You could put your hands on my throat, and I would be the safest man on this wide green earth. Do you think I would ever give that to someone else?" Aaron always knows what's best for him, is always gentle, always sensitive to his needs—he doesn't know where this anxiety came from, but it's not founded in the reality of the Aaron he knows. "You don't have to defend yourself. You don't want to do it. End of conversation." Spencer rubs soothing circles on Aaron's chest.

"I don't want you to think I would ever let anything hurt you."

"I don't think that."

"Even me."

"I don't think that, either." Spencer kisses him. "It's okay. I know better than to try to take sex advice from a couple that involves Emily. She's, like, the opposite of you."

Aaron's interest is piqued. "In what way?" Spencer opens his mouth. "No, wait, never mind, I don't—I don't want to know."

That night, Spencer rests easily, but Aaron squeezes him so tightly around the middle that he has to wiggle more than once to breathe, and very late, long after Aaron thinks he has fallen asleep, he feels Aaron cry silently, face buried between Spencer's shoulder blades.

The next evening, Spencer brews some stew on the stove using the very precise instructions Aaron laid out for him. So far, nothing is on fire, nothing has been blackened into coal, and nothing is melting, so Spencer is achieving expectations. The front door unlocks, and he turns to watch Aaron enter, carrying a boat load of groceries. "Hey, soup's brewing."

"It's stew," Aaron corrects as Spencer takes his bags.

"Yeah, whatever. It's not on fire, is my point."

"I've never been so proud," Aaron deadpans. Spencer kisses his cheek and rolls his eyes and goes to help Aaron put things away in the kitchen. "And, um, I got something—something for you." Aaron's cheeks flush unexpectedly, and Spencer raises his eyebrows in great interest as Aaron holds out a bag to him. "I, uh, I talked to Garcia, and she had some… suggestions."

Spencer wants to ask what kind of suggestions, but inside the bag, he finds a headband with pink cat ears, a pink lacy bralette, and a pink collar with a jingly bell and a small tag—the tag engraved: Spencer .

It's mortifying. It's sweet. It's the most adventurous thing Aaron has ever done (granted, the bar was low). Spencer kisses him hard. "Oh, I love it!"

"Oh, good, I thought maybe Garcia was way off base, but after yesterday, I was afraid to talk to JJ, I don't think I can look either of them in the eye ever again—"

"We could add to the tag property of Aaron Hotchner —"

Aaron shoots him a mild-tempered look. "Don't push your luck."

Spencer fidgets with the bell on the collar. "Say, uh, Garcia didn't say anything to you about, uh... cowboys, did she?"

Aaron frowns. "No, she didn't."

"Or horses, or... Assless chaps?"

"No... No. Should she have?"

"Nope!" Spencer says all too quickly. "Nope, she shouldn't have."

[the-sara-voe]

Chapter 1: An Old Friend

“All things remarkable are surprisingly simple; albeit difficult to find”.

-Criss Jami

Masterlist

Despite his endeavors requiring him to travel by plane for years, David Rossi never found it easy to fall asleep in the air. The white noise that lulled Reid to close his eyes often left David's open. The sterile leather of the seats are too stiff for his aging back, but it did not bother Byun, the newest in the group. Rossi had yet to fully warm up to Sena Byun, mainly because she carries herself with arrogance, making it harder for him to be patient. However, Rossi wonders if that is just his age showing.

He is a man of many trades. Whether he is catching the bad guys, writing books, or lecturing to students. His well-used time saw many friends come and go. Even Prentiss's tolerance from over the years is wearing thin. Most people Rossi established a friendship with had left, perhaps it is time he moved on as well.

That or it could be his intuition, telling him to stay in D.C. when his foot hit the ladder of the jet a few days before. Some force pulled him to stay that time. There was a sense that Rossi was needed there more than for the case. This was not driven by fear, not this time. David could not help but think there was something important waiting for him at home.

"Hey, you want some coffee"? Prentiss stated, leaning on a seat across from David, on her way to the snack cart.

"No, thank you". He replied, looking to his left to face the window.

Prentiss asks him how he is doing. His delivery is distant, almost cold. This is not consistent with his personality, and with him being raised Italian Catholic.

Rossi sighs, still peering out the airplane window. The sky and earth match their black tint, the dark buildings twinkling with small lights. The lower his eyes travel D.C., the brighter the ground becomes. He prefers his peace and quiet, sitting in his boat, scanning for ducks through his gun scope. Rossi couldn't remember the last he went hunting. It is the one activity that drifted his mind away from criminology. The atmosphere on the water is perfect for cleansing his mind of the vile. He longed for the relief the activity provides.

David looks at her, giving her a small smile, "I have been at this for years. I think I should spend some time doing something else", Rossi states with full content, not just for the future, but for his past and present.

Prentiss shares a supportive, care-exuding grin. She nodded her head gently before saying, "I thought you might retire soon".

"I had a feeling that since four out of my six oldest's have left the job, dad should probably step down too".

Both of them chuckle, staying quiet since everyone else is asleep.

"Have you told anyone else"? Prentiss asked, now sitting in the seat in front of him.

"Well I just decided now", Rossi states, "so you're the first to know".

Prentiss still wears a comforting smile on her face, although her eyes blink away her uncertain thoughts. She cups her hands on the table and calmly starts, "I guess I should probably tell you before everyone else wakes up".

"You're leaving too"?

The question earns a soft laugh from Emily, "Not leaving leaving. How did you know"?

"A little birdy told me".

"JJ told you"?

"Just before she left for New Orleans, she said, 'Wish the new Director of the FBI luck for me'".

"She's too sweet", Prentiss admitted, adding, "this means we can plan barbecues more now".

The both of them grin at the thought, "only if you come with me on my post-retirement vacation", said Rossi.

Prentiss shakes her head, amused. Minutes are mere blinks for these two, and before they can wonder how Alvez sleeps with his head on the table, the pilot announces their landing.

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Everyone lumbers off the plane and scrapes the soles of their shoes against the ground, making their way toward the conference room. Sitting at the round table, tapping away on a tablet, is a woman. Her curly hair is alive and free. Her tortoiseshell glasses slip from her nose just slightly, until she looks up to greet her coworkers.

"Glad to see you all home safe", Tusajigwe stated, her Tanzanian accent coming through. Her parents must have visited since her accent is usually subtle. They primarily speak Swahili when they are all together.

Luke Alvez places his bags on the table and opens his arms out to Tusajigwe. "You didn't have to wait for me to come back, Chica".

The young technology analyst brings her palm in front of Luke, stopping his movements. She glances him up and down, saying in a teasing tone, "I don't wait for men, Chico. But I do wait for my roommate since she has the keys to my car".

Byun searches the pockets of her backpack before finding the keys. The two proceed to bicker back and forth before Simmons pipes in.

"You two are an old married couple".

"What can I say", Sena voiced, wrapping an arm around Tusajigwe, "Women who want to take down the patriarchy together, stick together".

Prentiss, Rossi, and even Reid are tickled by the three's silliness. They all secretly reflect on the earlier years when they had an eagerness but naivety to the job. They smile at the memories of being young.

The Three Musketeers, as Rossi called them, settled down when Tusajigwe Selemani asked Sena to go start the car outside.

"See you in a bit TuTu", Byun chimed, walking out of the conference room. Luke and Simmons, being gentlemen, walk with her. Despite her protests of being able to take down both of them if given the opportunity.

"I hate that she calls me that", Selemani chuckled, taking a seat again at the round table.

Spencer looks up with his bags in hand, "I think it's sweet", he said, before bidding everyone goodnight and exiting the room. Prentiss left for her office shortly after.

Rossi is about to do the same until Tusajigwe stood up.

"Rossi, there is someone waiting for you in your office".

"At one o'clock in the morning"? Rossi asked.

"I know it's late, but he has been here for hours waiting for you to get back. He actually came to see you the day you left for this last case".

"Who is he"?

"He said you two knew each other. His name is...", she paused finding the paper she wrote the information on, "Stephen Gideon''.

Rossi pauses. Stephen Gideon hadn’t been a subject of thought for a long time. They last saw each other at the funeral of Stephen's father, Jason. He was a hard loss for many, but Stephen struggled the most. His resentment toward Jason complicated Stephen’s grief. Rossi told Stephen that he would always be there if he needed anything. After all, Stephen was technically Rossi’s nephew. The two of them talked on the phone once a year if they caught each other, but it had been about two years since their last conversation.

Selemani looks at Rossi and asks if he is okay, if she did something wrong. Rossi reassured her that everything is fine, however, this may be something they keep between the two of them. If Stephen is coming to talk in person now after many years, it’s because something is amiss.

Rossi thanked Tusajigwe and bid her goodnight before swiftly walking toward his office. Softly, he opened the door, hoping to prevent the hinges from squeaking. The approach did not work.

Standing in the back of the room is Stephen. His hair is messy, unkept. He had a bit of a stubble that he scratched at gently, indicating that he is not used to the sensation. His eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep.

"Stephen, sit down", Dave said calmly, nurturing. Rossi leaned on the front of his desk as Stephen took a seat in front of him. "What happened"?

Stephen's elbows sat on his knees as his hands wiped his face. He hadn't looked like this since Jason's funeral. Rossi's heart sank.

"I...", Stephen started, now looking to the side and rubbing his neck. "I was looking through some of my dad's stuff. The girls wanted to see the bird books..."

Rossi nodded, feeling the push and pull of Stephen's tension. Jason loved birds, and consequently, the Gideon grandkids take after their grandfather.

"We found a book that was just full of beautiful paintings of birds, and the kids and I were looking through it. We turned the page to look at this Robin painting, and I found an envelope with my name on it", Stephen still looked away from Rossi, his foot tapping nervously now.

"I didn't want to read it initially, I kept it in my office for a while. I finally got the courage to look at it and...well", Stephen took out the note from the breast pocket of his jacket. He hands it to Rossi saying, "Just look at it".

Rossi took the note, cautious and curious all at once. Unfolding the paper, he skimmed the text, before seeing a line he had to make sure of. Reading the few lines in depth again, his confusion is now certainty.

Surprise riddling his face, Rossi looks up at Stephen. In complete disbelief, delivering it more as a question, Rossi said something he never thought he would say.

"Jason Gideon has a daughter".

[ireadyabooks]

The Best Summer Reads! 🏖

Even if you can’t read a book on the beach this year, it’s still summer! 

We’ve pulled together some binge-worthy summer reads that will have you swooning over an adorable romance or turning the pages of a fast-paced thriller.  

I Love You So Mochi by Sarah Kuhn

Kimi Nakamura’s mother disapproves of her passion for fashion design, and when they get into an explosive fight, Kimi's entire future seems on the verge of falling apart. So when a surprise letter comes in the mail from Kimi's estranged grandparents, inviting her to Kyoto for spring break, she seizes the opportunity to get away from the disaster of her life. And what begins as a trip to escape her problems quickly becomes a way for Kimi to learn more about the mother she left behind, and to figure out where her own heart lies. Start reading!

The Night of Your Life by Lydia Sharp

All year, JJ's been looking forward to going to prom with his best friend, Lucy. But nothing goes according to plan and the best night of their lives quickly turns into the worst. That is...until JJ wakes up the next day only to find that it's prom night all over again. At first, JJ thinks he's lucky to have the chance to get innumerable chances at perfecting the night of his life. But each day ends badly for him and Lucy, no matter what he does. Can he find a way to escape the time loop and move into the future with the girl he loves? Start reading!

Lie to Me by Kaitlin Ward

Ever since Amelia woke up in the hospital, recovering from a near-death fall she has no memory of, she's been suspicious. Her friends, family, and doctors insist it was an accident, but Amelia is sure she remembers being pushed. Then another girl is found nearby -- one who fell, but didn't survive. Amelia's fears suddenly feel very real, and with the help of her new boyfriend, Liam, she tries to investigate her own horrific ordeal. But how can she tell who's trustworthy, and who might be -- must be -- lying to her? Start reading!

Screenshot by Donna Cooner

Skye's social media game is always on point. Until her best friend, Asha, films an embarrassing video of Skye at a sleepover and posts it online. But Asha quickly deletes the post, so everything's okay. Right? Then Skye gets an anonymous message. Someone has texted her a screenshot from the video. This person threatens to share the shocking photo online . . . unless Skye does whatever they say. Skye's perfect image -- and privacy -- are suddenly in jeopardy. What will Skye do to keep the screenshot under wraps? And who is trying to ruin her life? Start reading!

Listen To Your Heart by Kasie West

When Kate’s best friend, Alana, convinces Kate to join their high school's podcast, Kate is not expecting to be chosen as the host. But to Kate's surprise, she turns out to be pretty good at the hosting gig. Then the podcast gets in a call from an anonymous guy, asking for advice about his unnamed crush. Kate is pretty sure that the caller is gorgeous Diego Martinez, and even surer that the girl in question is Alana. Kate is excited for her friend . . . until Kate herself starts to develop feelings for Diego. Suddenly, Kate finds that while doling out wisdom to others may be easy, asking for help is tougher than it looks, and following your own advice is even harder. Start reading!

Wherever Nina Lies by Lynn Weingarten

Nina was artistic, fearless, and wild. She inked landscapes onto the soles of her Converse, and covered her tank tops in portraits of people she saw on the street. She was Ellie's big sister and favorite person. And then one day she was gone. Two years later, Ellie stumbles upon a drawing of Nina's that might just contain a clue of where to find her. So she takes off on a road trip with the one person who believes she's got a chance. Start reading!

Faceless by Alyssa Sheinmel

While on a run one day, Maisie gets into a terrible accident. A hot-burning electrical fire consumes her, destroying her face. She is lucky enough to qualify for a face transplant. But with someone else's features staring back at her in the mirror, Maisie looks -- and feels -- like a stranger. The doctors promised that the transplant was her chance to live a normal life again, but nothing feels normal anymore. Before, she knew who she was -- a regular girl who ran track and got good grades, who loved her boyfriend and her best friend. Now, she can't even recognize herself. Start reading!

It’s Not Me, It’s You by Stephanie Kate Strohm

Avery Dennis is a high school senior and one of the most popular girls in her class. But a majorly public breakup with the guy she's been dating causes some disastrous waves. It is right before prom and Avery no longer has the perfect date. Post-breakup, Avery gets to thinking about all of the guys that she has ever dated. Avery decides to investigate: she tracks down all of the guys she's ever dated, and uses that information, along with the thoughts of her friends, family, and even teachers to compile a total account of her dating history. Avery discovers some surprises about herself and the guys she's spent time with just in time for prom night! Start reading!

The Beautiful Lost by Luanne Rice

Ever since her mother left, Maia has struggled with depression -- which once got so bad, she had to go to an institution for a while. She doesn't want to go back. Maia's sure that if she finds her mother, if the two of them can talk about whale songs and constellations, then everything will be okay again. When Maia sets off on a road trip in search of her mom, her crush Billy unexpectedly comes along. They drive up the East Coast, stopping along the way for lobster rolls and lighthouses. Maia learns that Billy has dark secrets of his own -- and wants to outrun his past, too. But what will the future hold if they reach their destination? Start reading!

Where She Fell by Kaitlin Ward

Eliza knows the legends about the swamp near her house -- that people have fallen into sinkholes, never to be seen again, maybe even falling to the center of the earth. But when her best friends drag her onto the uneven ground anyway, Eliza knows to be worried. And when the earth opens under her feet, there isn't even time to say I told you so. As she scrambles through one cave, which leads to another, and another, Eliza finds herself in an impossible world -- where a small group of people survive underground, running from vicious creatures, eating giant bugs, and creating their own subterranean society. Eliza is grateful to be alive, but this isn't home. Is she willing to risk everything to get back to the surface? Start reading!

Lucky in Love by Kasie West

Maddie's not impulsive. She's all about hard work and planning ahead. But one night, on a whim, she buys a lottery ticket. And then, to her astonishment, she wins! In a flash, Maddie's life is unrecognizable. No more stressing about college scholarships. Suddenly, she's talking about renting a yacht. And being in the spotlight at school is fun . . . until rumors start flying, and random people ask her for loans. Now, Maddie isn't sure who she can trust. Except for Seth Nguyen, her funny, charming coworker at the local zoo. Seth doesn't seem aware of Maddie's big news. And, for some reason, she doesn't want to tell him. But what will happen if he learns her secret? Start reading!

Truly, Madly, Royally by Debbie Rigaud

Zora Emerson is not here to play. She's enrolled in a prestigious summer program, and is ready to use what she's learning to change the world. Zora's not expecting to vibe with any of her super-privileged classmates. So she's shocked to find she's got chemistry with Owen Whittelsey, who is charming, funny, undeniably cute...and turns out to literally be a prince. As in, his parents are the king and queen of a small European country. What? Suddenly, Zora's summer is looking a lot more complicated -- especially when Owen asks her to be his date at his older brother's wedding. Can her feelings for Owen, not to mention her sense of self, survive the royal chaos? Start reading!

Maybe This Time by Kasie West

Name the occasion, and Sophie Evans will be there. Well, she has to be there. Sophie works for the local florist, so she can be found at every big event in her small hometown, arranging bouquets and managing family dramas. Enter Andrew Hart. The son of the fancy new chef in town, Andrew is suddenly required to attend all the same events as Sophie. Entitled, arrogant, preppy Andrew. Sophie just wants to get her job done and finish up her sketches so she can apply to design school. But every time she turns around, there is Andrew, getting in her way and making her life more complicated. Until one day she wonders if maybe complicated isn't so bad after all. Start reading!

Snow in Love by Melissa de la Cruz, Aimee Friedman, Nic Stone, Kasie West

It’s still summer, but we’re already looking forward to the holidays and snuggling up with a mug of hot chocolate! So what's better than one deliciously cozy, swoon-worthy holiday story? Four of them! Snow in Love is an adorable, wintry collection of four short stories about the romance of the holiday season, from some of today's bestselling YA authors. Start reading!

Fake by Donna Cooner

Maisie Fernandez is fed up with the bullies who taunt her about her size and her looks. So, one night, Maisie goes online and creates a fake profile. "Sienna" is beautiful, skinny, and confident -- and soon she's messaging the most popular kids in Maisie's school. Maisie doesn't care about being friends with them. She wants to use Sienna to take them down. But as Maisie's web of deception grows, she's in danger of being exposed. And what will happen when the actual Sienna -- the girl whose photos Maisie has been using -- shows up in real life? Start reading!

Sorry Not Sorry by Jamie Reed

Janelle and Alyssa used to be best friends. They knew each other's deepest secrets and went through the hardest times together. But that was then. Now? Their status is somewhere between frenemies and full-on rivals. Until the day Alyssa collapses and is rushed to the hospital. Suddenly, everyone knows about her declining health and race against time. And, in a stunning twist of fate, the only person who might be able to save Alyssa's life -- is Janelle. But will the girls' bitter past get in the way of their futures? Start reading!

[awesome-moon-stone]

@stelledue

Since shortly after release weekend, I’ve been corresponding with someone who worked closely on the production of TROS and works for one of the major companies I cannot disclose here. I have verified the source to my satisfaction. To protect the source, I am rewording what we spoke about over the last two weeks and am submitting it to you in bullet point format I have written based on what they told me. The TLDR is that they were upset with the final product of TROS and wanted to share their perspective on how it went down and where it went wrong.

The leakers for TROS had an agenda and are tied to Disney directly. My source confessed that they have an agenda as well in that they struggle with ignoring what’s been happening to someone who they think doesn’t deserve it.

JJ always treated everyone on and offset with respect so my source’s agenda is that what Disney has done to JJ and how much they screwed him over should be something people are at least aware of, whether you like him as a filmmaker or not.

Disney was one of the studios who were in that Bad Robot bidding war last year. Disney never had much interest in BR as a company but they did in JJ because they saw WB (who JJ went with in the end) as a major threat.

JJ is very successful at bringing franchises back like Mission Impossible, Star Trek and Star Wars. WB is struggling with DC and aside from Wonder Woman, DC is still seen as a bit of a joke in its current state by the GA.

WB wants Abrams for some DC projects. My source said that this generation’s Star Wars is the MCU, and Marvel’s biggest threat is a well operational DC. They want to keep DC in the limbo that they’re in right now. Abrams jumpstarting that franchise with something like a successful, audience-pleasing Superman movie makes them nervous. Their goal is to make JJ look bad to potential investors/shareholders.

My source mentioned this shortly after the premiere: “The TROS we saw last night was not the TROS we thought we worked on”.

JJ was devastated and blindsided by this. He’s been feeling down over the last 6 months because of some of the ridiculous demands Disney had that changed his movie’s story. While the scenes were shot, a lot of the changes were made in post-production and the audio was rerecorded and altered. My source said they’ve never seen anything like this happen before. He’s the director and he wasn’t in the know about what they were doing behind his back.

Apparently, JJ felt threatened over the month leading up to the premiere.

Rian was never meant to do IX despite some rumors that he was.

JJ was brought back by Iger, not KK. Disney insisted on more fan service, less controversy.

JJs original agreement when he signed on was indicating he would have way more creative control than he did on TFA. It became evident this wasn’t the case only a couple of weeks into shooting when the trouble with meddling started.

JJ wanted to do some scenes he thought were important but Disney shut it down citing budgetary reasons.

May 2019: JJ argued that those scenes were crucial. He had to let go of one of the scenes. The other scene he insisted on was approved at first. He did reshoots and additional photography in July. The new scene was shot at BR in October.

The “ending that will blow your mind” was a part of this. Older actors were included like Hayden, Ewan and Samuel and anyone who wasn’t animated. The force ghosts weren’t meant to be voices because they shot that footage on camera. The actors were in costumes. Rey was supposed to be surrounded by the force ghosts to serve as sort of a barrier between her and the Sith surrounding them.

My source thinks but can’t 100% confirm that this is because of China. It’s an office talk of sorts. Some VFX people claimed they got a list of approved shades of blue they could use on the Luke force ghosts. Cutting this out was when the bad blood turned into a nightmare for JJ because the movie he was making was suddenly unrecognizable to him in almost every way.

My source knows JJ well enough to know that he’s just not the yelling type but apparently in a meeting he yelled something along the lines of “Why don’t you just put ‘directed and written by Lucasfilm’ then?” My source wasn’t present for that exchange but knows some who were.

Disney demanded they shoot some scenes that would have things in it for merchandise. “They fly now” is one of them. It’s also JJ’s least favorite scene. At a November screening of a 2:37 cut, he cringed, groaned and laughed when the scene was on.

My source says that JJ was most likely not joking when he said “you’re right” in the interview where they asked him about TROS criticism.

JJ’s original early November cut was 3 hours 2 minutes long.

In January, JJ suggested that they turn this into two films. My source told me this well before Terrio mentioned it in an interview a couple of days ago. When Disney said no, JJ was content with making this 3 hours long.

Over a period of 9 months JJ started realizing that one by one his ideas and whole scenes were being thrown out the window or entirely altered by people who have “no business meddling with the creatives”.

They were not on the same page when it came to creative decisions and it became obvious that Disney had an agenda in addition to wanting to please shareholders. Disney could “afford messing up IX for the sake of the bigger picture” when it came to protecting things unrelated to IX.

The cut JJ eventually and hesitantly agreed to in early December was 2:37 minutes long. It wasn’t the cut we saw which he wouldn’t have approved of (and which is 2:22 long). Apart from the force ghosts, there were other crucial and emotional scenes missing. The cut they released looked “chopped and taped back together with weak scotch tape” (JJ's words).

The movie opened with Rey’s training. Her first scene with Rose was shortly after Rey damaged BB-8 during the training. Rose made a silly joke about how Poe is going to kill her for damaging BB-8. There was a moment where Rey took a minute to process what just happened when she saw that vision during training. She looked distressed and worried. The next scene was noise as the Falcon was landing and Rey runs over there. Those two women who kissed at the end were visible in this shot and they were holding hands. One of them ran towards the Falcon as it landed.

Kylo on Mustafar scene was 2 mins longer. There was a moment where Kylo seemed a bit dizzy and his vision was shown as blurry for a second. Almost as if time half-stopped while everyone in the background was slow-mo fighting. Kylo hears Vader's breathing, then shakes his head and time goes back to moving at a normal pace and he jumps right back into the battle (the scene from the trailer where he knocks that guy down which did end up in the movie later).

They cut some of the scenes from the lightspeed skipping segment. Some of the planets that were cut were Kashyyyk, Naboo, and Kamino.

The scene where the tie fighters are chasing them through the iceberg - those corridors were inspired by a video game JJ used to play in the 90s called Rebel Assault 2 (the third level in the game with the tunnels on Endor specifically).

Jannah was confirmed to be Lando’s daughter.

Rey not only healed Kylo's face scar but she killed Kylo when she healed Ben. Kylo ceased to exist when Rey healed him. My source mentioned that some people assume it was Han Solo who healed him but that isn’t true and that wasn't Han Solo. That was Leia using her own memories as well as Ben's to create a physical manifestation of his own thoughts to nudge him towards what he needed to do. That was her own way of communicating that with him. And it wasn't possible without her dying in the process. She made the ultimate sacrifice for her son and this flew over people's heads with the Disney cut.

The late November cut (the last cut JJ approved of) had scenes with Rose and Rey still. JJ wanted to give her a more meaningful arc. Disney felt that that was too risky too. My source mentioned that Chris Terrio said that it was because of the Leia scenes but this is only partially true because she had four other scenes including two with Rey/Daisy that Leia was not in.

Finn wanting to tell Rey something was always meant to be force sensitivity. In the 3 hour cut, it’s explicitly stated. There was a moment when Jannah and he were running on top of that star destroyer and Finn needed to unlock or move something and he force-moved it and acted surprised when it happened. This was replaced with a CGI’d BB-8 fixing whatever he needed to fix on there.

Babu Frik was nearly cut because some execs at Disney thought he would be the new Jar Jar. They are really surprised that people love him this much. He was JJ's idea and was created in collaboration with some artists and puppeteers. The personality was all JJ.

There were a bunch of scenes where Rey and Kylo (separately) went through quiet moments of reflection to deal with what they were going through. On her part, her going through the realization that there's something sinister about her past. Him going through regret and remorse but trying to shut it out. My source said that the Kylo scenes were especially amazing because of Adam's performance and how he managed to portray that inner turmoil. It provided much more context and added deeper meaning to both his battle with Rey and the final redemption arc at the end. It didn't happen so suddenly and it was more structured than what we got.

The Kylo/Rey scene where he dies was at least 4 minutes longer with more dialogue. Ben was always supposed to die. Source also added that if he wasn’t, then that might’ve been in an earlier draft which they haven’t read. The first draft they read included Lando (the first few didn’t). The Reylo kiss and Ben’s death was not part of the reshoots. It was a part of the re-editing. Even the cut that JJ thought was coming out earlier this month had a longer version of that scene than what was shown in the theatrical cut.

JJ was against the Reylo kiss (or Reylo in general). This was Disney's attempt to please both sides of the fandom.

JJ was not happy with where TLJ took the story. The final result is a mix of that story and the story told by Disney and whoever they tried to impress (“certainly not the fans”). JJ is gutted over the final result. Star Wars means a lot to him. He had to sacrifice large chunks of the story in TFA but he was promised more creative control on TROS and instead the leash they had him on was only tightened as time went by. A source said that this is the one franchise and the one piece of his work that he didn't want to mess up and instead it turned into his worst nightmare. When he found out that he was blindsided with the cut they presented, he said "what the fuck??" when Kylo was fighting the Knights of Ren at the end and the Williams music that was used for it was not what he wanted at all. He seemed to think it was out of place.

JJ's cut still exists and “will always exist”. We most likely will never see it unless “someone accidentally leaks it.”

Ok, so there you have it. If there are questions, I will try to follow up with my source but it’s up to them if they want to share more so I cannot guarantee an answer.

Edit: I forgot one thing that the source wanted included, concerning FinnPoe in TROS:

The source asked about FinnPoe after seeing Oscar Isaac's comment about how Disney didn't want it to be a thing. This is true. JJ fought to make this happen. This is why Oscar is blaming Disney. It's not just a random throwaway comment. He knows for a fact that it was Disney because these discussions happened. The main cast is insanely close with JJ and are just as pissed, though seemingly more outspoken about it than JJ. During TFA, Disney was hesitant to hire John Boyega because a woman was front and center so they deemed that risky enough so bringing in a male lead who's black made them nervous. JJ fought to make that happen for about nine months before getting approval. The same issue came up when JJ fought to have Finn&Poe in TROS but he lost that battle as he lost many creative battles for this film. Many people, JJ included, came to the realization during this production that the story really is told by shareholders/investors instead of the creatives or anyone at Disney specifically. He tried to make a lot of things happen and was shut down because of this. They had him on a leash and many blame TLJ for the stricter creative approach.

[racheljoyscott]

Why Did I Start This Page?

Why did you start this blog? When was the first time you heard of Columbine? Why Rachel of all the victims? Etc.

I get asked this a lot so I guess I’m just going to make a full, proper post for a full description / explanation for future references.

To start off, I had always, always been interested in crime. Since as little as I could remember I’d be watching documentaries and fictional TV shows, just captivated by such a strange concept. I couldn’t understand why people would want to kill other people. It sparked my interest more than Disney Channel ever could. I wasn’t allowed to watch shows like Criminal Minds when I was that little. Growing up I wanted to be just like JJ. But I’d always managed to sneak the channel real quick when she wasn’t looking to shows like Law & Order. Being such an unconventional interest for a girl my age, and also the fact I wasn’t allowed to, made me want to watch it even more. Lil rebel since day one.

Fast forward to a typical middle school day, on December 14, 2012 Sandy Hook happened. That was the first taste of tragedy on a crime level I had ever experienced. I don’t live far at all from it. It was really close to home, physically and metaphorically. I know a family who lost a child that day. I knew him myself. I had seen him around town all the time. He was a normal face to me, a real person to me. It’s not like I have memories with him, but I definitely knew him, of him. I knew his mother, his mother knew me. She knew me since I was a little girl. He was real. He was not an actor. The shooting was not a hoax. How more disrespectful could you get? It’s almost as saying their loss wasn’t real. It was real. It shouldn’t have had to be. But it is a reality. The pain and suffering for that family was real, still is.

That was the first time I heard of a school shooting. It was so abstract to me. It was a pretty horrible memory for me. I remember the fear I felt, also the numbness I felt, the fear I saw on the parents faces, and the confusion on my classmates. My school was so close FBI agents came to our school.

I got pulled out of class and I as I was walking out, I saw the (typically empty) halls fluttered with kids scrambling for their coats at their lockers, all sharing the same complexed and puzzled faces. I thought maybe it was a doctor’s appointment? Usually there is a reason I was being pulled out. But nothing could explain why there were so many kids leaving at the same time. I walked down to the lobby and saw the office filled with frantic parents. I was pretty calm for such an unusual circumstance. Kids next to me were freaking out and crying. The security was tight and the sign out process was very strict. Parents were patted down walking in, stripped of purses and bags. It was absolute chaos. As I was waiting for my mom to come get me, some random lady came up to me “There was a shooting! Little kids were shot in school! The kids are dead!” She went on but I kind of ignored her. I got the message. I didn’t react at all. I just walked out with a straight face. I think it was a self survival, kind of thing. I was in complete shock. As I walked out I saw 4 big black vans parked out front. All my years of criminal shows I recognized they were FBI agents. I still remember seeing the faces on the parents. Thinking back it was almost as if everything was in slow motion.

I was always familiar with murders and shootings, but a school shooting was a complete new perspective for me. My little self tried so hard to understand why something like that would happen. I saw how murders had motives. But people killing little kids for no real reason. That really blew me away. The rest of that night I locked myself alone in my room and sat frozen in front of the television watching the news. Just thinking that could’ve been me, my classmates. I was so confused. The question why? floated in my brain back and forth. There was no reason. At least for me. I could never fathom a sufficient reason to answer why or how that could happen. Why God would let that happen. I was a firm believer everything happened for a reason. I walked to church that night, trying to find some comfort. I didn’t.

Few weeks or months later when things began to calm down and the official story was released, I spent all my free hours at school researching school shootings and Sandy Hook, specifically. That’s when I came across Columbine.

I didn’t become interested really in Rachel until High School. Rachel’s Challenge came to present. I had previous knowledge about her beforehand, basics, but when the speaker came to our school, I was in high school at that point, so hit me differently because I was around the same age as her. Unlike the Sandy Hook victims.

Again I remember every detail of that day. I was in first period science when my teacher told me we had yet another kindness campaign, usually that has 0 effect and is boring as hell. Reluctantly my class and I dragged ourselves down to the theater. I was so tired, it was so early in the morning. Listening to the speaker, I was easily drawn into her because of my interest in crime of course. But I honestly was in shock by the reaction the presentation had. My classmates were so close all of a sudden. The reality of how much of an impact you had on people flooded people with regret. I could see it on their faces. Like Sandy Hook, I kinda sat around with a straight face and took in the people around me. I zoned out. I observed. Even the guys who usually turn everything into a joke sat quiet and in awe. People were crying and hugging with strangers. Even some guys. Openly sharing their life stories and struggles. It was so weird to see. I didn’t understand. How could one have that kind of effect on someone? I had never seen my classmates so close together and connected. The way everyone was so determined to be more compassionate towards each other was just really crazy to me. I went home that night and read her journals online and got to know her as a person, not just religiously or how she died. I was intrigued by the way she thought. Her outlook on life. The way she knew she was going to die. Her philosophies. She made me look at life in a different way. Sounds cheesy, but it’s true. I began living differently. She inspired me to really sit and think about life. I think we all have a moment in our life when we wake up and do that. We begin to question things. With Sandy Hook down the road, seeing a girl so similarly at the same stage in life, just made me face reality that truly not everyday is promised. Plus Rachel knew what her life was for. She knew her place in life. She knew what she wanted to do. I didn’t. I still don’t know. It made me want to find my purpose, who I am or who I was meant to be.

Strangely enough, there were a lot of connections between her and I. When I was younger I’d tell people the same thing. I was never going to get married, I’d never have kids, I was going to die young, but also I’d have an impact on the world. I got the same hush hush response, people calling me crazy. Seeing someone who said the same thing, and it actually happening, freaked me out so much.

My main purpose of the blog was just to spread my knowledge and clear up any misinformation and misconceptions surrounding her. Why Rachel not other victims? Mostly just because of the way I connected with her. I was fascinated by the effect she had. Plus every aspect of her life was made public. There is so much information I can learn and make a long-lasting blog with. I’ve always wanted to help people, so connecting myself with Rachel on here as well as tying in crime was a win-win situation for me. I wanted to create an open space to discuss and share opinions. Reflect. Keep the victim’s memory alive in a respectful manner. Plus, overall Columbine has so many valuable lessons we all can learn from, any age no matter where you come from. Everyone can put theirself in their shoes. We all can relate to it in some ways. It changes the way you think and makes you re-evaluate, especially for teenages, at such a crucial time in someone’s life, you have so much to learn about yourself and what life is really like. From the dark aspects, the minds of the shooters, to the bright light of someone like Rachel. We can’t forget, we can’t let history repeat itself. Lets all learn from the mistakes of Eric and Dylan and learn to grab onto Rachel’s train of thought. The world will be a better place.

“Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer.”

I hope my blog serves its purpose xx

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Doing the Write Thing #48 after 10 years and 3 seasons of criminal minds + Foster’s birthday

It’s been so long... Dudes...

Many things have happened. Sort of.

My last DtWT update had me outlining how I was super stoked to see Precious Kid in Pennsylvania, and that happened... It was honestly so amazing, and Justine, Chuck, and Kassie are the sweetest human beings in the entire world + they gave us their setlists and had a loooooooong conversation with @sarahkelsiwrites​ and I. Amazing live also.

I also went to Mexico with my family last week! It was an interesting experience, and I do miss it looking back. I’m really bad at long vacations in general, and there wasn't much to do on the resort in terms of activities daily, so I had a lot of time to myself. It was a nice week to kinda chill and detox from my normal mega busy life, but OH BOY did I miss writing...

Like I mentioned before, I had a LOT of free time on the resort, so @sarahkelsiwrites​ made it our business to binge watch 2 full seasons of Criminal Minds in that week... (Started season two on Monday, finished it today lol).

Here’s my relationship with Criminal Minds in a nutshell:

I’ve been watching this show for ages. I can’t even pinpoint when I first started watching it because it’s been so long. I’m going to say I was even as young as 8 or 9 when I started watching this show (can’t quite remember though). So to put it simply: I've been watching Criminal Minds for most of my life.

When I was in early elementary school, my sister and I would come home from school and watch the show with our two older brothers if they happened to be watching it (which was often cuz yo oldest brother watched this thing a lot), or we’d watch the marathons, and the list goes on and on.

When driving up to MusikFest in Pennsylvania to catch Precious Kid, my oldest brother pulled the show up on his phone, and oh my did Rachel remember the good times she used to have as a kid watching this show. I seriously think I forgot about my love for this show, since this was my first time watching it probably since the start of the year. This was the start to a huge problem... (the best problem you could ever have)

I’ve watched a TON of Criminal Minds episodes over the years, but since I watched them YEARS ago, I’ve forgotten about them. So @sarahkelsiwrites​ and I decided to watch the show again and...

How does this relate to writing at all?

Oh, my friends... I’ve been so inspired by this show, I’ve written 4500 words of just IDEAS over the past two weeks. These aren't even fleshed out scenes.

(Also if you have no idea what Criminal Minds is, it’s the best crime show you will ever watch. Fetus me loved this show. Present me understands why.)

In my last DtWT post, I talked about sort of being bored by my scene. It was something I really wanted to write, but the words were churning out slow and painfully. Because of this show, I’ve sort of combatted this. Not perfectly, I’m still having issues (which I’ll get into later), but this has become my favourite form of procrastination and I have zero regrets because I hardcore fancasted the FOSTERED cast to the Criminal Minds cast and every time I watch an episode it’s like OH HELLO.

If you’re a Criminal Minds fan and want to get to know my characters, these are basically them:

Hotchner = Lonan

Hotch and Lonan are the same people. I kid you not. If you don't know what Lonan’s like, just Hotch.

Morgan = Harrison

Dunno what else I can say about this one but ermagherd.

JJ = Reeve

also another ermagherd (ESPECIALLY SEASON 10)

Reid = Foster

cuz have u seen morgan + reid’s relationship

also when I was like 10, my mall had an advertisement with matthew gray gubler in it (who plays reid) and I highkey loved going into this store because of this. reid made child me really proud to be geeky af thank you reid.

Prentiss = Glenne

SO MUCH.

So yes. Thank you Criminal Minds. *bows down to Criminal Minds*

I think that’s all I had to say about Criminal Minds so in other news, guess who’s incredibly sick?

ME!

I caught a really bad cold on Monday (like right as I got home from Mexico, I get sick at home smh), and haven't shaken it yet. Which means I’ve been getting really bad fevers etc and yeah... Not fun. SO I’ve been resting (and probably still should be instead of writing this but I missed you guys, so hello) and watching Criminal Minds. And not writing. Except for about an hour ago.

This is the cause for my temporary block at the moment since it’s really hard for me to concentrate when sick especially with a scene I've struggled with previously. Today’s writing session was just the bare minimum of fleshing out an idea I got in Mexico. Onto the update, shall we?

Daily word count goal: 250

Words written: 686

Total word count: 122 078

Total page count: 221

Songs played: Planning vacation days for next summer in no music land at this point

Things to know: Wrote this with a sore throat (TM) with very little sleep because I had the worst sleep ever (TM)

How I felt: Better than bored as f so yayyy! THANK YOU HOTCH FOR REPLENISHING MY SALTY LONAN VIBES.

Bad haiku to describe writing session: Criminal Minds is / The best way to cure no vibes / Because now I vibe

is this not art.

Rating of writing session out of 10 and why: Like a 7, it wasn't very long, and I wasn't thinking all that deeply, lol.

On a scale from 1-10 my level of stoked-ness is: Also a 7

Lyrics to describe writing session: But it’s hard when I don't know what to do / I'm angry and I'm tired and confused / I've got so many thoughts stuck in my head / And none of them make much sense

--Forever Dumb, Surf Curse (Sad Boys EP)

Cannot even explain how me this is but also cannot explain my excitement for next week cuz ya girl sees these two dudes live next week.

GIF to describe writing session:

Saw this while scrolling down my Tumblr dashboard and saved it just for this update since this is actual footage of me writing tonight.

ALSO: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIAN CASABLANCAS. JULIAN CATSNBLANKETS. JULIAN CASABLACKPEPPERANDSALT.

oh my.

Excerpt:

“What if I’m lying about all of this, because it’s some sort of game in my head? Like my own real life chess match?”

someone needs to wait and tell this boy LIFE AIN’T CHESSSSSSSSS.

that was the only reason I shared that excerpt. good day.

should that sentence end with a period or a question mark now I'm doubting myself oh myyyy.

I also have news!

TODAY IS NOT ONLY JULIAN CASABLANCAS’ BIRTHDAY.

It’s also Foster’s birthday! WEE!

I mentioned in a writing update I *believe* that every single year since I’ve written the FOSTERED books, me and @sarahkelsiwrites​ go out of our way to celebrate dear Foster’s birthday. The only reason being the 23rd of August is usually a mundane day where I’m bored and have nothing to do, since Foster’s a bit of a geeky dudeface I don’t talk about much on here even though I always poke fun at him even tho he’s actually a great person but cinnamon rolls gotta attack cinnamon rolls cuz cinnamon roll I want a cinnamon roll.

So this year since I was sick, @sarahkelsiwrites​ made me the most AMAZING cake for the dude, and holy moly is it so good. I’m particular about my cakes, but this thing is so amazing. It’s also gorgeous.

So cuuuuuute. I’m amazed by how great this chocolate cake is honestly, it’s a new favourite recipe.

Since it’s his special day, I thought I’d do a quick questionnaire so you guys can get to know him a little better.

So this is Foster:

This is Foster’s lame aesthetic:

So now that we know all of this...

Nicknames and from who: Auggie (from Harrison), Prince Charming (from everyone in the entire world), Wary Sidekick (from Reeve hhhhhaaaaahhaa), The Other One (from Lonan mostly but also from everyone) and there are probably more I’m forgetting, this boy gets a lot of nicknames, especially from Harrison. OH real life nicknames (as in what people I actually know call him) Fosty from @sarahkelsiwrites, and Foss from @imdisappointed and I die lol

Favourite restaurant: Probably something fancy like Milestones HA canada

Favourite candy: Probably jelly beans or original skittles

Favourite type of cake: He’s lame and likes pie, but probably red velvet

Also how old is the dude now: 20 (ermagherd when he was only 16 children grow fast)

Favourite hobby: Probably doing something lame like reading science textbooks with at @imdisappointed​

Favourite colour: Blue (as seen in aesthetic)

Favourite cereal: Frosted flakes

Favourite breakfast food in general: Dino eggs (boi)

If he had a job in real life, what would it be: Either the dude that works the counter at a vegan café (with lots of quinoa), or a #freelance photographer who focuses on #lifestyle photos + #nature photos

Favourite thing to do: Say the cheesiest of cheesiness to Reeve who is like oh ma lord the cheese

Does he like The Strokes or does he not like The Strokes: Boy is such a Whitney type of dude, but I don't think he’d have much of an opinion on The Strokes. Lonan would blast The Strokes in the car if they were driving together, and he would just be like ok.

The cheesiest thing he has ever said anyone around him probs exploded because of a cringe attack: You’re everything in the world maximized by a million. or You’re the sunshine that I see first thing in the morning, and the last thing I think of at night. or you know what just everything he says oh myyyyy gahhhhhhhhd

His actual aesthetic: Going on a long morning hike just to watch the sunrise + there is fog and evergreen trees

If he was a gum flavour name: Pretentious Mint

Trying to be a sly ass mofo in book one but no:

“You were awake that entire time!” I scream at him, smacking his head. He winces, but I don’t feel an ounce of guilt for my action. “You – I was so worried and I –” “And you need me and you love me...” He cuts me off, his stupid smirk still on his face. “I thought you were still unconscious you idiot!” 

(I was 13 y’all shhhh)

Would he write books: Yes. One in the spinoff called My Best Friend Is Almost 30 And Doesn’t Leave Me Alone: A Memoir

What I (Rachel) wished for in his POV when I blew out his birthday candles today: Protect Reeve and live a healthy, prosperous life

The most pathetic thing he’s done: “Well, I thought, er, I, I brought this for you.” He says, holding a perfect red rose out to me. 

well er I er well

If he were a donut flavour: Boston cream

If he were a beverage: Fiji water

the aesthetic

this is a bottle of water

Alright so that’s enough about Foster. Hopefully you learned something about him since I don't talk about him ever on here... He’s sincerely one of my favourite characters, even though I always make fun of him. It’s okay. Everyone does it. Especially Harrison.

Cool. Hope you enjoyed this update. See you later dudes.

--Rachel

[qwertsypage]

Solutions To Common Remote Work Issues During COVID

Solutions To Common Remote Work Issues During COVID

by JJ Sutherland | March 27, 2020 | Blog

Two of the clients I have been working with this week have interestingly similar issues, despite being in radically different industries. One client is military, a strategy group rather than a warfighting force. The other is a major player in the healthcare industry. 

They are both struggling with the same thing we all are, the switch to the world of remote working. 

These clients are both known for their innovation, creativity, and vision. And I want to share some solutions they have found to common work issues in the time of COVID. 

When The Workday Includes Kids And Distance Learning

Efforts to contain the spread of Coronavirus have shuttered whole cities, states, and even countries. Schools across the globe have sent students home with the expectation that lessons will continue online.

My wife and I are wrestling with this ourselves. 

We have two young children at home. We both work. This week we have somehow drifted back into the traditional gender roles of previous generations. She is doing the bulk of child care while I’m locked in my office all day. Besides being incredibly unfair, this also makes her miserable because she feels she’s now doing a poor job as both a parent and professional. So next week, we are going to try an approach I learned from our healthcare client. 

I find their approach amazingly transparent and productive. They began by labeling this sudden need for their members to also be partial teachers and full-time parents as an impediment. They crushed it by allowing members with kids to set or change the team schedule. 

For example, if someone puts ‘kid stuff’ from 8-9 am on the calendar then no team meetings or Scrum events are scheduled for that time. The Team Members without childcare adjust their workflow to match. And for Scrum teams, parents adjusted capacity to allow for this shift.

Our military client took a similar approach. They saw parents needed more time in the middle of the day for childcare. So they insisted those team members take a 2-hour break instead of 1. Simple fix. It took a lot of pressure off of the parents and the team stayed focused on the task at hand. 

I’m inspired by both of these moves. Realizing the work-life balance has gone through a tectonic change isn’t easy even though it’s all around us. And both of these can add more to the plates of non-parents. But to see teams bond together and have each other’s backs - that is amazing.  

Surviving An Avalanche Of Meetings

As soon as work from home became the norm, both of these clients noticed an unexpected increase in the number of meetings they had to attend. There was a lot of talking about what work needed to be done, would be done, should be done. And after all that talking was done, there was no time to actually do it. 

My colleague, Matt Jacobs, shared an approach that had an immediate impact: all meetings are now working sessions. Something tangible must come out of each meeting that demonstrably advances the team towards an outcome. A document, plan, or a pitch deck. Whatever it is, meetings are now collaborative creation sessions in which solutions are built. 

To help create this mindset, the task at hand and a definition of done are laid out at the beginning of the meeting. The attendees begin with a quick discussion to ensure everyone is on the same page about what needs to be accomplished, and then they roll up their sleeves and get at it. This approach ensures every meeting materially advances a priority. 

Another way to deal with this is to create regular meeting-free time. I’ve started to block my calendar for dedicated heads-down work. Because the same thing was happening to me, meeting after meeting. 

Who Is Working On What?

Our military client is having problems with clear roles, responsibilities, and accountability. Not at the team level, mind you, but across the organization.

Multiple teams were working on the same thing without realizing it. Clearly a huge waste. Worse yet, it created rework because the work done wasn’t quite right and did not meet expectations. 

This seems to be happening to everyone as we adjust to what is being called the new normal.

To me, it sounded like they didn’t have a good, clear, and accessible backlog and work wasn’t visible. Which makes sense now that they can’t simply walk over to their colleagues to see what is going on. The need to call or email someone creates a real barrier to communication.

Alignment requires more discipline in virtual work environments. It also requires direct communication. 

And something more. Have a Scaled Daily Scrum, or call it something else. The name doesn’t matter. What does matter is having a focused conversation about who is working on what will make a huge difference. 

When Other Teams Are Slowing You Down

Our military client is one of the first Agile teams. They were seven sprints in when they suddenly all had to work from home. 

It wasn’t easy, of course, but the structure and rhythm of Scrum allowed them to make the switch in 24 hours and keep projects on track. The real problem, one leader said, was the other parts of the organization, the parts that aren’t Agile.. 

As a result, this group of teams is going so much faster than anyone else that they became blocked by needing critical input from non-Agile Teams. Teams who are still reeling from the shift.

Understandably, the Agile teams are incredibly frustrated. 

Another colleague of mine, Alex Sheive, told them what we tell any Team with external dependencies: Write the story so that the definition of done stops at the dependency. This Team has done their part and passed it on to another Team, or has requested something from a different group. Just submitting the work or making the request is when the story is Done. When it comes back, you start a new story that captures the rest of the work needed to finish it. 

Individual teams may not be able to solve for a dependency. This at least lets you build a backlog that accounts for them so you minimize how much they will slow you down. 

The Toughest Question

I spent the bulk of this blog talking about two particular clients. I want to step away from them to address a question I’ve heard from people across the globe this week.

Does my work have any value at all? 

Meaningful work is one of the primary motivators of humans. Working on something seemingly unimportant, unrelated to the crisis engulfing at all can seem pointless. Demoralizing. 

I always say the same thing in reply. Pandemics end. Crises end. The world may be shaped differently on the other side, but it does pass.

It is incredibly important for people to be thinking about how they want to shape that future. It’s not enough for you to just survive. You can come out of it stronger. To not only be resilient but to be better. 

Perhaps after this pandemic, we will have better ways of incorporating the demands of parenting into our corporate lives. Perhaps “meeting” will come to mean a powerful collaboration of minds, rather than a waste of them. What is happening is unprecedented in modern history. Ask yourself, what can we learn from what we are living through?

As we’ve all learned these past few weeks, the final value of the Agile Manifesto seems very apt right now. Respond to change over following a plan. 

The post Solutions To Common Remote Work Issues During COVID appeared first on Scrum Inc.

Solutions To Common Remote Work Issues During COVID published first on https://koresolpage.tumblr.com/

[cbshearer]

Since shortly after release weekend, I’ve been corresponding with someone who worked closely on the production of TROS and works for one of the major companies I cannot disclose here. I have verified the source to my satisfaction. To protect the source, I am rewording what we spoke about over the last two weeks and am submitting it to you in bullet point format I have written based on what they told me. The TLDR is that they were upset with the final product of TROS and wanted to share their perspective on how it went down and where it went wrong.The leakers for TROS had an agenda and are tied to Disney directly. My source confessed that they have an agenda as well in that they struggle with ignoring what’s been happening to someone who they think doesn’t deserve it.JJ always treated everyone on and offset with respect so my source’s agenda is that what Disney has done to JJ and how much they screwed him over should be something people are at least aware of, whether you like him as a filmmaker or not.Disney was one of the studios who were in that Bad Robot bidding war last year. Disney never had much interest in BR as a company but they did in JJ because they saw WB (who JJ went with in the end) as a major threat.JJ is very successful at bringing franchises back like Mission Impossible, Star Trek and Star Wars. WB is struggling with DC and aside from Wonder Woman, DC is still seen as a bit of a joke in its current state by the GA.WB wants Abrams for some DC projects. My source said that this generation’s Star Wars is the MCU, and Marvel’s biggest threat is a well operational DC. They want to keep DC in the limbo that they’re in right now. Abrams jumpstarting that franchise with something like a successful, audience-pleasing Superman movie makes them nervous. Their goal is to make JJ look bad to potential investors/shareholders.My source mentioned this shortly after the premiere: “The TROS we saw last night was not the TROS we thought we worked on”.JJ was devastated and blindsided by this. He’s been feeling down over the last 6 months because of some of the ridiculous demands Disney had that changed his movie’s story. While the scenes were shot, a lot of the changes were made in post-production and the audio was rerecorded and altered. My source said they’ve never seen anything like this happen before. He’s the director and he wasn’t in the know about what they were doing behind his back.Apparently, JJ felt threatened over the month leading up to the premiere.Rian was never meant to do IX despite some rumors that he was.JJ was brought back by Iger, not KK. Disney insisted on more fan service, less controversy.JJs original agreement when he signed on was indicating he would have way more creative control than he did on TFA. It became evident this wasn’t the case only a couple of weeks into shooting when the trouble with meddling started.JJ wanted to do some scenes he thought were important but Disney shut it down citing budgetary reasons.May 2019: JJ argued that those scenes were crucial. He had to let go of one of the scenes. The other scene he insisted on was approved at first. He did reshoots and additional photography in July. The new scene was shot at BR in October.The “ending that will blow your mind” was a part of this. Older actors were included like Hayden, Ewan and Samuel and anyone who wasn’t animated. The force ghosts weren’t meant to be voices because they shot that footage on camera. The actors were in costumes. Rey was supposed to be surrounded by the force ghosts to serve as sort of a barrier between her and the Sith surrounding them.My source thinks but can’t 100% confirm that this is because of China. It’s an office talk of sorts. Some VFX people claimed they got a list of approved shades of blue they could use on the Luke force ghosts. Cutting this out was when the bad blood turned into a nightmare for JJ because the movie he was making was suddenly unrecognizable to him in almost every way.My source knows JJ well enough to know that he’s just not the yelling type but apparently in a meeting he yelled something along the lines of “Why don’t you just put ‘directed and written by Lucasfilm’ then?” My source wasn’t present for that exchange but knows some who were.Disney demanded they shoot some scenes that would have things in it for merchandise. “They fly now” is one of them. It’s also JJ’s least favorite scene. At a November screening of a 2:37 cut, he cringed, groaned and laughed when the scene was on.My source says that JJ was most likely not joking when he said “you’re right” in the interview where they asked him about TROS criticism.JJ’s original early November cut was 3 hours 2 minutes long.In January, JJ suggested that they turn this into two films. My source told me this well before Terrio mentioned it in an interview a couple of days ago. When Disney said no, JJ was content with making this 3 hours long.Over a period of 9 months JJ started realizing that one by one his ideas and whole scenes were being thrown out the window or entirely altered by people who have “no business meddling with the creatives”.They were not on the same page when it came to creative decisions and it became obvious that Disney had an agenda in addition to wanting to please shareholders. Disney could “afford messing up IX for the sake of the bigger picture” when it came to protecting things unrelated to IX.The cut JJ eventually and hesitantly agreed to in early December was 2:37 minutes long. It wasn’t the cut we saw which he wouldn’t have approved of (and which is 2:22 long). Apart from the force ghosts, there were other crucial and emotional scenes missing. The cut they released looked “chopped and taped back together with weak scotch tape” (JJ's words).The movie opened with Rey’s training. Her first scene with Rose was shortly after Rey damaged BB-8 during the training. Rose made a silly joke about how Poe is going to kill her for damaging BB-8. There was a moment where Rey took a minute to process what just happened when she saw that vision during training. She looked distressed and worried. The next scene was noise as the Falcon was landing and Rey runs over there. Those two women who kissed at the end were visible in this shot and they were holding hands. One of them ran towards the Falcon as it landed.Kylo on Mustafar scene was 2 mins longer. There was a moment where Kylo seemed a bit dizzy and his vision was shown as blurry for a second. Almost as if time half-stopped while everyone in the background was slow-mo fighting. Kylo hears Vader's breathing, then shakes his head and time goes back to moving at a normal pace and he jumps right back into the battle (the scene from the trailer where he knocks that guy down which did end up in the movie later).They cut some of the scenes from the lightspeed skipping segment. Some of the planets that were cut were Kashyyyk, Naboo, and Kamino.The scene where the tie fighters are chasing them through the iceberg - those corridors were inspired by a video game JJ used to play in the 90s called Rebel Assault 2 (the third level in the game with the tunnels on Endor specifically).Jannah was confirmed to be Lando’s daughter.Rey not only healed Kylo's face scar but she killed Kylo when she healed Ben. Kylo ceased to exist when Rey healed him. My source mentioned that some people assume it was Han Solo who healed him but that isn’t true and that wasn't Han Solo. That was Leia using her own memories as well as Ben's to create a physical manifestation of his own thoughts to nudge him towards what he needed to do. That was her own way of communicating that with him. And it wasn't possible without her dying in the process. She made the ultimate sacrifice for her son and this flew over people's heads with the Disney cut.The late November cut (the last cut JJ approved of) had scenes with Rose and Rey still. JJ wanted to give her a more meaningful arc. Disney felt that that was too risky too. My source mentioned that Chris Terrio said that it was because of the Leia scenes but this is only partially true because she had four other scenes including two with Rey/Daisy that Leia was not in.Finn wanting to tell Rey something was always meant to be force sensitivity. In the 3 hour cut, it’s explicitly stated. There was a moment when Jannah and he were running on top of that star destroyer and Finn needed to unlock or move something and he force-moved it and acted surprised when it happened. This was replaced with a CGI’d BB-8 fixing whatever he needed to fix on there.Babu Frik was nearly cut because some execs at Disney thought he would be the new Jar Jar. They are really surprised that people love him this much. He was JJ's idea and was created in collaboration with some artists and puppeteers. The personality was all JJ.There were a bunch of scenes where Rey and Kylo (separately) went through quiet moments of reflection to deal with what they were going through. On her part, her going through the realization that there's something sinister about her past. Him going through regret and remorse but trying to shut it out. My source said that the Kylo scenes were especially amazing because of Adam's performance and how he managed to portray that inner turmoil. It provided much more context and added deeper meaning to both his battle with Rey and the final redemption arc at the end. It didn't happen so suddenly and it was more structured than what we got.The Kylo/Rey scene where he dies was at least 4 minutes longer with more dialogue. Ben was always supposed to die. Source also added that if he wasn’t, then that might’ve been in an earlier draft which they haven’t read. The first draft they read included Lando (the first few didn’t). The Reylo kiss and Ben’s death was not part of the reshoots. It was a part of the re-editing. Even the cut that JJ thought was coming out earlier this month had a longer version of that scene than what was shown in the theatrical cut.JJ was against the Reylo kiss (or Reylo in general). This was Disney's attempt to please both sides of the fandom.JJ was not happy with where TLJ took the story. The final result is a mix of that story and the story told by Disney and whoever they tried to impress (“certainly not the fans”). JJ is gutted over the final result. Star Wars means a lot to him. He had to sacrifice large chunks of the story in TFA but he was promised more creative control on TROS and instead the leash they had him on was only tightened as time went by. A source said that this is the one franchise and the one piece of his work that he didn't want to mess up and instead it turned into his worst nightmare. When he found out that he was blindsided with the cut they presented, he said "what the fuck??" when Kylo was fighting the Knights of Ren at the end and the Williams music that was used for it was not what he wanted at all. He seemed to think it was out of place.JJ's cut still exists and “will always exist”. We most likely will never see it unless “someone accidentally leaks it.”Ok, so there you have it. If there are questions, I will try to follow up with my source but it’s up to them if they want to share more so I cannot guarantee an answer.Edit: I forgot one thing that the source wanted included, concerning FinnPoe in TROS:The source asked about FinnPoe after seeing Oscar Isaac's comment about how Disney didn't want it to be a thing. This is true. JJ fought to make this happen. This is why Oscar is blaming Disney. It's not just a random throwaway comment. He knows for a fact that it was Disney because these discussions happened. The main cast is insanely close with JJ and are just as pissed, though seemingly more outspoken about it than JJ. During TFA, Disney was hesitant to hire John Boyega because a woman was front and center so they deemed that risky enough so bringing in a male lead who's black made them nervous. JJ fought to make that happen for about nine months before getting approval. The same issue came up when JJ fought to have Finn&Poe in TROS but he lost that battle as he lost many creative battles for this film. Many people, JJ included, came to the realization during this production that the story really is told by shareholders/investors instead of the creatives or anyone at Disney specifically. He tried to make a lot of things happen and was shut down because of this. They had him on a leash and many blame TLJ for the stricter creative approach. via /r/saltierthancrait

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                                                            JUNE        2019

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***** Catch the new stand up: David Cross: Oh Come On

***** There is no more smoking at Disney.

***** Psilocybin mushrooms have been decriminalized in Denver!!

***** Adam Sandler is touring and he has a new stand up special out: 100% Fresh.

***** The new book, ‘The Castle at Sunset’ is coming. Looks pretty juicy!

***** FORD is cutting about 7,000 jobs.

***** Ben Domenech, Meghan McCain’s hubby did a rant about Seth Meyers after Meyers called her out on his show about some of her comments.

***** Eddie Redmayne is in pre- production on ‘The Trial of the Chicago 7.’ where he plays Tom Hayden.

***** Sexual misconduct news: Alan Dershowitz is being accused by the victim of a former client.

***** Steak n Shake is being sued again. Somebody straighten this out. Will they go out of biz?? It seemed to change when new owners took over.

***** A final rule was issued May 2 by the Department of Health and Human Services that health care workers can’t be compelled to participate in medical care that disagrees with their religion or conscious. Fuck You Patients!

***** Martin Scorsese, Brian Grazer and Ron Howard are bringing us’ Once were brothers.’ This will be the telling of RobbieRobertson’s truth about The Band.

***** Is this true? One of the reasons the USPS is struggling so bad is that senators voted to make them pre pay pensions?

***** The NRDC night of comedy with Seth Meyers, John Oliver, Tiffany Haddish, Hasan Minhaj, Sarah Silverman, John Mulaney and others raised 1.7 mil for environmental protection.

***** Edwin Hiatt was arrested for the murder of Barry Crane. Crane was a champion bridge player as well as a director and producer of such shows as Mannix, Dallas, The Incredible Hulk and Hawaii Five-0 among others.

***** Visit the site of The Alliance for lifetime income that is sponsoring the Stones No Filter tour.

***** CBS is shaking it up. Word is that the morning show will be hosted by Gayle King, Tony Dukoupil and Anthony Mason. John Dickerson will move to 60 minutes and Norah O’Donnell will anchor the CBS evening news where she’ll be perfect. What took them so fucking long??

***** Days alert: Stephen Nichols is returning as Patch.** Word is also that Tony and Anna are headed back. Best news ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Kristen may be back. So, more possibly coming back from the dead.. Will, Nicole, Jack.. None of these people are what they seem, they just aren’t quite themselves. Brainwashed? Plastic surgery on others? Fake faces? It could be any old soap opera trick. Was the whole burning building a set up?  What do Rolf and Rex have to do with this? How is it all connected? ** I am really glad that Mel and Haley are gaining story. Keep it coming. Love the pairings going on. JJ and Haley have such chemistry as do Ben and Ciara, of course.** Is Xander really Victor’s son?? Ok.. ! fake face so far with Nicole.** LET’S GIVE RORY A REAL STORY!!!!!

***** So much entertainment is bringing Trumptopia to their universe. People seem so upset and genuinely scared and they have to get it out and put their take on it.

***** Marie Osmond takes Sara Gilberts chair at The Talk.

***** Arnold Schwarzenegger was attacked by a man in South Africa.

***** Chris Hemsworth and Tiffany Haddish will star in Paramount’s buddy movie, Down Under Cover.

***** Support the National Popular Vote Compact for the Electoral College.

***** Country House @ 65-1 won the Kentucky Derby after a historic disqualification of first winner, Maximum Security. There was also much controversy before the race after 23 horses have died at Santa Anita.

***** So to be clear that we are on the same page: Obstruction is impeding or attempting to impede for a corrupt purpose like helping yourself.  Even the parts of the Mueller report that we can see show obstruction. Also, If the statute of limitations are about to run out, an indictment can be made and sealed against a sitting President. The case would be prosecuted after he is out of office. So let’s quit fucking around.** Republican Rep. from Michigan, Justin Amash urges action on our President. He writes that Trump has been engaged in specific actions and a pattern of behavior that meet the threshold for impeachment. He actually read the report.** Why does it seem that the ‘Great again’ and ‘Taking it back’ conservative family value crowd often turn out to be doing the shady stuff behind our backs?

***** Mueller finally spoke and seemed to reinforce both sides. He is leaving his post but the Grand jury investigation chugs along.** A Federal judge ordered all Mike Flynn passages in the Mueller report to be made public.

***** The McCain naval vessel and Japan?? Really??

***** The President is tweeting agreement with North Korea about Joe Biden? That is about right.** Scary Clown also stormed out of a meeting after Pelosi was talking about his cover up earlier in the day. The signs for his little ‘impromptu’ press conference that he ran to were already set up.

***** So the WH seems to be telling everyone not to testify before congress. No more rules. I suppose the time has come that we can do whatever we want and there will be no consequences. It is good to know we can all fight subpoenas till the bitter end, it opens up a whole can of worms. Really this is all about seeing how far they can go, what can they get away with??

***** The Pentagon has diverted 1.5 billion from various defense department funds for his wall. The money earmarked for training troops and equipping our forces is apparently better used for the border. ** Congress has now threatened to take away the defense department’s ability to move money around. There is usually consultation but they are, of course, ignoring it.**

***** Jared wants a merit based system for the illegals. So, we want to bring immigrants into the country that will take all of the good jobs?  I do not understand this family, they want a wall so nobody gets in, they want immigrants to work at Mar A Lago to service them and now they want only people qualified to work high end jobs.** Kushner’s real estate company has gotten about $800 mil in federal loans.

***** At this point Trump’s 225 days of golf have cost us $122 mil and he is making money for his resorts every time.

***** Theresa May is out.

***** Kim Jong Un’s top aide is said to have been put in hard labor.  North Korea also executed Kim Hyok Chol and four foreign ministry officials in March after the Trump summit charged with espionage.

***** Mexico is getting a 5% tariff.

***** Native Americans are being killed by police officers at a higher rate than anybody else.

***** Fuck dementia.. Just TRIP!!

***** Manafort’s condo in Trump tower is being put up for auction as the Government takes possession.

***** The New Haven documentary film fest is running a 7 film retrospective of Michael Moore’s work this month.

***** A new report says that the EPA has been ordered to get thousands of deaths “off the books” by altering the way they calculate the risks of air pollution.

***** Ben Carson will never live down his ‘OREO’ moment. If there wasn’t enough proof that people without a clue have been put in charge, this is it. Supporters have to be pretty stupid to think it is a good idea for the stupid people to be in charge. What is so wrong with smart people, not crafty, slick people, I mean smart people who know how to actually solve problems and come up with good ideas? I can’t help but think of an Uncle in our family called Mort. There was much talk when I was a child of Mort being so smart and quiet. When he came to family gatherings he would sit in the corner and read and learn instead of socializing. I always wondered why they thought that was wrong. I was so envious of him. I realize that isn’t exactly on the same page but smart is good.** One day after Carson’s ‘testimony’ there was a new proposal to HUD’s equal access rule. It would allow federally funded homeless shelters to consider sexual and gender identity, privacy, safety, practical concerns and religious beliefs when deciding if they want to accommodate someone.

***** The Harriet Tubman $20 bill will be delayed for circulation until possibly 2028. Scary Clown has always criticized the move and Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin says that Andrew Jackson will remain on the bill for now.

***** The costuming on HBO’s The Young Pope is so fucking awesome.

***** Former WH chief of staff John Kelly has joined the board of Caliburn International. This conglomerate operates facilities that hold the detained immigrant children in our country.

***** Matt Smith stars in ‘Charlie Says’ in the latest incarnation of Manson.

***** Hooray for Chobani!! The company is paying off school lunch debt in Rhode Island for students so they don’t have to eat jelly sandwiches.

***** Bill De Blasio is running for President.

***** Gene Simmons of KISS gave a press briefing at the Department of Defense.

***** Citrus farmers are using antibiotics to fight bacteria in crops. Health officials are afraid this could fuel antibiotic resistance in us.

***** Sen. Michael Bennett is running for President.** He said that his Mother found out he was running from the newspaper. There was some talk about Jello when he was interviewed on Seth Meyers.

***** The Chief Pig compared Mayor Pete to Alfred E. Neuman. Pete said he was glad that he inspired the President to make a literary reference, even though the Mayor was too young to know the reference.

***** There is a Variety series : Actors on Actors. See the one with Jason Bateman and Bill Hader. Yeow. oh to be the cream in that Oreo. Can I say that in the Me Too era? Are there reverse problems with that??

***** For Putin, things started off as a mountain and ended up being a _____. He is laughing at this country every day.

***** ‘The Quiet One’, a doc about Bill Wyman is here.

***** Matthew Modine is running for SAG AFTRA president. He is getting endorsements from Ed Asner, Vincent D’Onofrio, Mira Sorvino, Nancy Sinatra, Patricia and Rosanna Arquette, Sean Astin, Ernie Hudson, Alfred Molina and Bill Mumy.

***** The Cool Kids was cancelled. BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?? Their September debut was the most watched Friday broadcast comedy debut in almost 6 years.

*****Empire will end after season 6.

***** The Daytime Emmys didn’t do much for Days after all those noms. Kyler Pettis was the only winner. I was happy for GH’s Max Gail. CBS Sunday Morning won best morning program. There has been some controversy over some of the regulations and some tv shows threatened to boycott. At one point, Patrika Darbo had an Emmy revoked. There was some stunning fashion. My faves were Annika Noelle, Jaqueline Macinnes Wood, Camila Banus, Lexie Stevenson, Linsey Godfrey, Olivia Rose Keegan, Brandon Barash, Carolyn Hennesy and Victoria Konefal.

***** There is some shady business in Wisconsin with Foxconn. The Taiwanese company made big promises with Scott Walker and Trump. They have since been backing out of the manufacturing side of the deal. Republicans want to blame the new democratic Governor but he was warning them about this company way back when.  Why are these hucksters always blaming others for the kinds of things they do??

***** HB 1633 in Illinois is a bill to, among other things, make a felony of peaceful protests!! Thanks oil lobbyists!** But, Illinois is making some progress in the right direction on some fronts.. House Bill 1438 was approved by the Senate to legalize possession and sale of weed. At the end of May it passed the house. The bad news is that police already have records of those that use medical marijuana and if they pull you over, they can charge you if you have used any that day. ** The Reproductive Health Act passed which states that an egg, embryo or fetus does not have independent rights and the state can’t deny or restrict reproductive rights.

***** After chickengate, the committee voted to hold Attorney General Barr in contempt of congress. Now it moves on but the contempt can be denied by the DOJ. Rep. from Texas, Sheila Jackson Lee made a great speech and broke it down to show that they were only making a simple request of documents and the WH and Barr will not comply.

***** The WH has been revoking press passes from journalists they do not want there, nearly the entire corp. They granted exceptions for the press they like.

***** Amal Clooney helped to free Reuters journalists, Wa Lone and Kyaw Soe OO from Myanmar. Many other journalists are still being held.

***** A man in Illinois takes old bikes and parts and makes them useable again. He gives them to people in need of transportation. A Morton woman put out a call on the internet to gather old bikes for him and got them beyond her wildest dreams. Way to go!!

***** In Georgia abortions could soon be illegal after 6 weeks. 3 production companies, Blown Deadline productions, Killer Films and Duplass Brothers productions say if that happens they will no longer film in Georgia. Now Alabama has jumped on board with the want to prosecute Doctors. And it goes on with Kentucky, Mississippi, Ohio, Iowa, Louisiana, Utah and North Dakota.  The Reich is chipping away at our rights. Why do we keep putting so many conservative men in powerful  places?? Why are the 1% ruling the rest of us??** Debbie Harry commented at the ASCAP pop music awards, “I think it’s criminal.”** Some states are saying they may even investigate miscarriages. Why not just follow all ejaculations?? I have had a miscarriage and the last thing I would have needed in my pain was someone investigating me. WTF?

***** Did anybody else the owl clock on American Housewife?

***** John Waters has a new book: Mr. Know it all

***** Letterman is back with his Netflix gig where he will interview Tiffany Haddish, Ellen, Melinda Gates and Kanye West. Doesn’t it seem like our world went crazy after Dave left his CBS show? More Dave!  On the talk show rounds he does sort of seem like an old guy holding court but still hot!!!

***** The Wal Mart pick up ad with all the famous rides makes me a little crazy when the lowly Wal Mart employee worker is getting hit by a customer.

***** Liam Neeson will star in The Minuteman.

***** Caterpillar has sent a cease and desist to coffee company Cat and Cloud because of their name.

***** McDonalds is said to be bringing America the best of their international menu this summer for a test drive.

***** The Al Franken podcast is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***** A cancer diagnosis usually ends with 4 in 10 patients depleting their savings.

***** Secretary Amy L. Bedwell was arrested for theft from a parent teacher organization in Illinois. She will go to court for the Riverview grade school incident on June 12.

***** Spielberg’s Amblin tv is severing ties with the show Bull. CBS has paid 9.5 mil to settle harassment claims by Eliza Dushku against Michael Weatherly.

***** The Met Gala was at its best with wonderful camp looks from Harry Styles, Lady Gaga, Billy Porter, Janelle Monae, Zendaya , Laverne Cox, RuPaul, Darren Criss, Ashley Graham, Dua Liba, Natasha Lyonne and Lupita N’yongo.

***** August will bring us John Goodman and Danny McBride as part of a televangelist family in The Righteous Gemstones.

***** Cannes person of the year in entertainment award this year is Lorne Michaels.

***** New show, Bluff City Law looks pretty good even though we really don’t need another lawyer show.

***** Mick is back at it and new dates have been set for the Stones tour which will begin June 21 in Chicago!!!!!!

***** The Illinois department of corrections have not been able to account for 3, 568 items in a recent audit.

***** Ava Duverney has made a movie that needed to be made about the Central Park 5.

***** There is a helium shortage.

***** Steve Kroft of 60 minutes is retiring.

***** Director Bong Joon-Ho’s ‘Parasite’ has won the Palme d’or at Cannes.

***** Duff Mcagan has a new solo album with help from Shooter Jennings.

***** Conan has settled a lawsuit over joke theft. A blogger claimed that his writers had stolen 4 jokes from his blog. The jokes were not that unique and there are so many hundreds of similar jokes out there anymore with the crazy news cycle and so many late night hosts and on liners. Conan wrote about hs odyssey in Variety.** Conan also wrote a theme song for NPR news.

***** Mike Pompeo seems happy that when the ice caps melt there will be new, easier to travel trade routes. So, do you think it is a hoax or are they really melting?

***** Jessica Chastain and Andrew Garfield will pay Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker in a biopic.

***** Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost are engaged.

***** Meghan Markle and Prince Harry brought us 7 lb. 3 oz. Archie Harrison Mountbatten Windsor.

***** R.I.P. Peter Mayhew, 9 gray whales, Kendrick Castillo, Jim Fowler, Doris Day, Sammy Shore, Alvin Sargent , Tim Conway , Ron Hiatt, all the children who keep dying in our custody , victims of the Virginia Beach shooting, John Pinto and Peggy Lipton.