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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 4 years ago

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Fire emblem AU

The third and final house is The Red Ravens House, where those from The Badlands Kingdom reside! (Also the route with the best exclusive boss music we get freaking dubstep in our medical fantasy game. Three house’s ost is so good oh my gosh)

The Badlands was the first to break away from the SMP, albeit in a more peaceful manner. Badland’s territory connects to the foreign nation of Errata and the two nations have had many clashes at their border. However, something odd is happening in Badlands. Mysterious red vines have started covering small villages and wiping out crops. It’s being kept secret by the king so that Badlands doesn’t appear weak. The Kingdom only has so much land however and the problem can’t be ignored forever. The Raven is chosen because of its cunning and willingness to do whatever is needed to survive. This years Red Ravens consist of the following

Bad-Bad is the prince of The Badlands and set to be its next king. Bad’s father is a decent king but his main flaw is his refusal to work with Errata due to them being enemies for a very very long time. Bad hopes that when he becomes king he can end the fighting between Badlands and Errata. He knows that their Kingdom needs help because of the new vines problem. Bad is seen by his father and royal court as too much of a softie and they hope he will toughen up at the monastery. Bad is one of the nicest people at the monastery and he is considered a bit of an oddball, such as his dislike of any swearing. Despite this, Bad is not to be underestimated. While he’d rather have a peaceful outcome to problems, he’s still willing to fight to protect his kingdom. Bad has strengths in bows, riding and flying. He has a weakness in axes. Bad has one crest

Skeppy- Skeppy is Bads retainer and best friend. However, it didn’t start out that way. Skeppy was an orphan commoner who was forced to do crime to survive. He would go from village to village and steal from the richest people there. One day, Skeppy was hired to steal a rare book from the royal families castle. While he really didn’t want to, winter was coming and he needed the money to survive. Long story short he gets caught by the king who is about to kick him out. That is, until Bad happens to spot him and asks his father if Skeppy can stick around because he looks hungry and needs a friend. Skeppy works as a servant in the castle for years and he becomes the best friend of Bad. It helps that Skeppy now has a place to stay and three whole meals everyday. Eventually, Bad asks if Skeppy is willing to train to be his retainer and Skeppy says yes. Despite Skeppy messing with Bad a lot, they’re still best friends and Skeppy does feel he owes him a lot. As a result of this, Skeppy is very loyal to Bad and doesn’t like hearing what all the adults are saying about him. He hopes that when Bad becomes king he won’t change too much. Skeppy is the biggest prankster and has a love of making puzzles. Skeppy has strengths in bows and swords. He has a weakness in heavy armor. He has no crest

Sam- Sam is a minor noble whose family is famous for scientific discoveries. It was his grandfather who invented a device that determined what crests people had. Before, people had to be put in dangerous combat for the crest to activate. Sam studies magic so that he can invent new spells to make lives better. He was raised by his grandfather and feels he has big shoes to fill. Sam is considered a dad friend among his classmates and is good friends with Puffy. He’s that guy who won’t directly give you the answers to homework but will help you with it. Collects texts that the church has deemed inappropriate. Sam has strengths in reason(lighting) and riding. He has a weakness in faith. He has one crest

Ant-Ant is a minor noble who lived in a small village close to the border. A couple of months ago, his village was one of the first to be overtaken by the vines. Many of the people of his village mysteriously disappeared after they claimed that the vine were to be worshipped. Ant is at the monastery so that he can hopefully find a cure for the vines. He worries that he has been infected and doesn’t know it yet. Ant is a more distant type and appears to have dislike for Bad. This is due to bitterness at Bad’s father for not wanting to confront the problem and being more focused on fighting Errata. He also thinks Bad is just pretending to be nice at first. Ant does eventually warm up to Bad, but he’s still the most likely to challenge him if he feels he is making a bad decision. Ant has strengths in bows,riding,and faith. He has a weakness in flying. Ant has one crest

Punz- Punz is a part of a mercenary group. His goal is to be the next leader of the group. Leaders are chosen by beating the current leader in a sparring match. Punz is at the Monastery so that he can get the best training possible. Punz is well known for being the one who trains a lot. He’s also known for being willing to do almost anything for some cash. He’s the guy you go to if you want to buy a homework assignment. While some of his classmates fear he would sell them out for the right amount of money, his true friends know that...well, if you’re a friend he won’t sell you out but otherwise ehhh. Basically, Punz was raised by his mercenary family to not trust easily. Once someone proves they are trustworthy, make sure to repay that trust tenfold. That’s the mercenary way. Punz has a strength in swords and heavy armor. Weakness in bows. He has no crest

Purpled- Purpled belongs to a family of merchants. Him and Punz actually knew each other before going to the monastery because their two families work together when traveling to protect each other. Purpled’s family is also unique in another way. Their family lived in the foreign nation of Loxbor and have only recently come to Carmine. This is because Carmine is considered to have more variety in resources. Purpled is smart and very business savvy. He’s at the monastery mostly to make new connections, hopefully with nobles. While he was a bit annoying with the nobles in his class at first, he eventually learned that the best way to get allies is to just treat them like normal people. Purpled does look up to Punz and Punz in turn teaches him some of his sword techniques. Purpled also sometimes get his family’s products in the mail and will advertise it to the students. Purpled is a nice and smart guy even if he can act a bit callously. Purpled has strengths in reason and axes. He has a weakness in faith. He has no crest

If Karl teaches The Red Ravens, the main plot is les s focused on winning the war and more focused on taking care of the the whole egg situation. Probably more lighthearted than the other routes.

There are 21 chapters in this route. In the 18th chapter there’s a decoy egg that is set. What the group thinks is that a certain spell needs to be performed by two people, one of whom has to have whatever Bad’s crest is called. So, that chapters mission is getting Bad and one other Red Raven(besides Karl but other than him whoever you send over there) to the decoy egg and doing the spell. Then, it is revealed that it is a trap! The spell actually causes Bad and the other person become overtaken by the egg.

19th chapter is when the person decided by you is saved by destroying an egg that is near them. That person vaguely remembers where Bad went and so the army goes after him.

20th chapter is rescuing Bad, which basically means you have to defeat him and the egg that is with him (which would be a pain gameplay wise probably). So, Bad is knocked out and when he wakes up he knows where the main egg is located.

The 21st chapter actually starts when the Red Ravens have broken into the main egg and have to fight whatever is inside it and ready to hatch out. Honestly, I think it would be really cool gameplay wise to have the final battle set in the egg. You can do a lot with that visually.

Also in that chapter where TWSITD send javelins of light (nukes) on Fort Mercues, it’s instead this huge seed that comes down on the fort and completely covers it in red vines in like a minute or two.

After seeing this Bad gives everyone permission to say one swear word right then and there.

There’s also a point where Bad helps Errata with the egg and they in turn send soldiers and supplies. So, yay peace!

So yeah that’s all houses done! Now, what’s next I wonder?

Holy hell. Okay. That’s great. That’s honestly great.

This is the arc I would be playing the most if it were a game and that’s solely because of the characters and everything.

Love all the little things in here too!

As for what’s next, well, assuming that it isn’t a rhetorical question, then uh...I don’t know why and it’s highly impossible but now I’m just thinking of trying to find a way where I can get everyone to be happy.

Fuck. I love all of them too much and now I’m attached to them all.

#dream smp #dream smp au #smp three houses au #badboyhalo #skeppy #awesamdude #antfrost #punz #purpled #karl jacobs #ask #tack-tick #long post

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monkey-network · 5 years ago

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Why EVE is The Best

Heads up. I’m basically gonna sperg about this whole film, so spoilers for this twelve year old film. Enjoy!

Wall-E is one of my favorite films; I would gladly kill and extort to bring the sequel I had in mind to life in any way; animatics would pleased me if nothing else but anyways. I love this film and one of the biggest reasons for that is the character EVE, a character that stuck in my mind longer than most if you can believe. So, better time than any, Imma just ramble about why I love this character. And, before we begin, I’m gonna say EVE is a girl, Wall-E is a boy due to my brain believing they were respectively female- and male-coded for most of my life but do NOT let this stop you from envisioning them however you please. If they’re both girls or boys to you, all power to you. With that said, here we go...

The Design

Now I’m not saying she has the greatest robot design ever; I don’t look at eggs and remember better days when I got to watch that film for the first time in my old house. But Pixar certainly knew how to make simplicity work to perfection. Simple shape, simple mechanics, simple movements. All feeling right at home with her coming from the more advanced future, especially compared to Wall-E where he’s literally a more grounded looking robot. Thematically, this design is fucking genius. A scouter robot with the ability to fly with ease and yet carries a literal arm cannon with incredible fire power. Both expressing how she can have her head in the clouds, observational when necessary, and yet trigger happy amidst the slightest inconvenience or surprise. *MWAH* What the fuck? It’s a great duality where the hard, more logical exterior possesses a sweet and approachable core just waiting to be shown and it’s wonderful seeing Wall-E, this literal block head, fumble his way into having a simple conversation with her. Now I can’t really disassemble how the programming in Wall-E works where they can behave like humans but follow objectives like a machine... but, I can try. With this scene.

Now take this with a grain of salt, the inferencing is more to the imagination otherwise the fun of this movie is tarnished. But from this scene, it’s clear that in this universe robots can show feelings for one another but can’t be romantic with humans because they can recognize human emotions and reactions but do so in an automated sense. The film expresses their curiousity just enough to where their reactions to human things and functions are within reason and yet doesn’t toy with the viewer’s believability. EVE is capable of responding to Wall-E’s advances but doesn’t 100% reciprocate his feelings because Wall-E isn’t her directive (least not yet, that’s for later). Not to mention, she isn’t that adept at romance unlike Wall-E who, by being alone with Earth’s technology, was able to learn and process human romance through the Hello Dolly VHS and potentially other things over the years. So this conversation works with the two having their limited knowledge, we don’t know how much they know, and the film keeps focus on having a balance between somewhat logical reactions and minor impulsive humane reactions that makes them alive but only just enough so it doesn’t feel like them being robots is pointless... Phew. Speaking of which, you know what isn’t pointless? Her motherfucking buster cannon.

Her whole ass arm houses a gun capable of nuking an entire cargo ship in a matter of seconds and it makes sense that she’d have it cuz how can a scouter robot defend themselves but beyond that, it’s just so goddamn cool. Like yeah, I can express how this symbolizes about America and... how they want to fuck their guns or something but who cares. She has a FUCKING ARM CANNON and it’s badass, end of discussion.

The Hanger Moment

Much as I love the moment where the two are in space flying, I honestly say that this moment where the two are in Wall-E’s house during the darude sandstorm is incredibly important. EVE is reasonably taken to his home and naturally, when the lights come on, she looks through the stuff he gives to her. She gets to take it easy for once, things can be quiet after she blew up a whole ship, have a giggle or two at the trinkets he’s collected, with the cigarette lighter being a good tool that’ll be used for later.

She’s curious, bouncy, still a bit quick on the draw, but is nonetheless taking in a lot this robot on Earth has to offer. It’s this and the small 1v1 they had before that is a lovely seedling to not only their connection but EVE’s development on her own, where we hardly need dialogue to show how she’s feeling about it all. And yeah, I’m with plenty of people to say that if this movie was just about the two of them being on Earth it probably would’ve been the greatest Pixar film of all time for many. Fortunately the plot kicks in when Wall-E shows EVE the plant, forcing her to go dormant, thus pulling Wall-E into an adventure on the Axiom ship. And I say fortunately cuz this is where EVE goes from good to great as a character.

The Axiom

While it’s something where we all wish that this film wasn’t the densly plotted, society driven second half, I say the second half on the Axiom carries the film’s themes and character building for EVE to good heights. We enter EVE’s territory, the slick, iPhoney synthetic world where humans have become literal potatoes and everything’s more or less automated. For EVE, the first half of the film lets us see the more playful side of her and doesn’t mind being around Wall-E, but isn’t immediately won over with the concept of love. She’s still goal-oriented and trying to keep the two stuck on Earth would’ve made her arc as open-ended and ambiguous as The Good Dinosaur. Time on the axiom puts her original sense of thinking to the test when Wall-E tags along.

To share the bigger picture real quick, the human element of Wall-E is complimentary to Wall-E and EVE’s humane behavior. To quote RealJims’ honestly flawless analysis, “What better way to show the humanity in a robot than to be among humans that act like robots?” For Wall-E the robot, this works perfectly as a fish out of water story. His time on Earth affects not only a few humans, but other robots like MO and the secretary machine, as minor as it seems.

So when Wall-E seemingly fucks things up, EVE is rightfully peeved. His slip ups especially with the Diagnostics scene tests her goal-oriented nature and patience, to a tasteful comedic strength. Doesn’t mean they now turned Wall-E stupid, the film makes sure the monkey wrenches are only accidents from someone severely out of the loop of things. This leads them and us well into

The Depths of Space

The scene where Wall-E gets launched in the escape pod thrills me with joyfully painful suspense every time. EVE making a mad dash to him as Wall-E madly tries to get out of the soon exploding pod, leading to it exploding and we get this from EVE. The wide eyes of terror followed by the whispering “No”s gives me shivers every time I see it in full.

Now one could argue her concern was more for the plant getting destroyed, but I say she was more frightened at the idea of both Wall-E and the plant getting nuked. While Wall-E did make her mad, she nonetheless cared about him and wasn’t expecting the tiny bot asshole to send him to death. So it’s like, “Oh no, both my purpose and the one that helped me are both gone.”

Luckily, thanks to some foreshadowing, Wall-E made it out alive with the plant in safe keeping and EVE seeing Wall-E actually care about her goal makes her beam with joy, being that reasonable spark that brings the two closer together. I mean if your love interest cheated death to help you out, why wouldn’t it? Everything about this moment is what made EVE stick with me long after I watched the film; the emotional journey the director was able to convey with her is so well-built to this point, it’s still amazing how they were able to do it with little dialogue or facial expressions. I especially love the emptiness we get of the two of them in space, where it adds focus to the two of them especially. But my god, that’s only half of it...

The space dance sequence between the two is still one of Pixar’s most gorgeous scenes. The way Wall-E is able to keep up with the fire extinguisher after having trouble in the film’s beginning, the wide shots of space, the lovely glow of the engines, the music. I especially like to think of this scene as a parallel to EVE’s initial flight on Earth. For her, it was that rite of passage after the touchdown and now she gets to share that same moment with someone she’s grown to like or appreciate. Then again, this isn’t the moment where EVE loves Wall-E. We’re close, but we need that one inch to finally show her the truth. That’s when she sees

The Recordings

The moment where EVE gets to see the memories of her time on Earth, including her dormant stasis, is where shit finally clicks. She essentially gets to know how Wall-E felt not only about her, but about love. Even when she couldn’t be there, she sees now that Wall-E cared about her and is able to process what Wall-E processed when he looked at Hello Dolly at one point. Scene also works because getting her directive, or the plant, was generally done and done with, she finally gets time to focus on something else, on her feelings for someone else. This leads well into... the well that leads to...

The Dumpster Moment

The scene with the recordings is where things finally click, but the moment with EVE and Wall-E in the ship’s dump is where it comes together. After getting betrayed yet again by AUTO, EVE’s concerns are now less with the plant and more for Wall-E and thanks to the moment previous, I can totally buy this. It’s teeth gritting seeing her try to rescue a now broken Wall-E from getting ejected into space and losing his energy thanks to a destroyed chip. So when we see her finally toss the plant aside and says Wall-E is her directive now, I tear up. It feels like a genuine, built up declaration on her part; the moment where EVE can rationally return his feelings ten-fold and truly be there for him. But that isn’t all to it, because Wall-E reasonably struggles his way to the plant to show that to save him, they need to get to Earth which means getting the plant back to the core of the ship.

This gives EVE newfound resolve and puts that to the test, where she has to basically defect against AUTO who’s become the physical antagonist of the film. The escape sequence is a bit of a step down since putting humans in danger doesn’t really affect the film’s themes all that well, but I can’t argue that pitting the captain against AUTO is a bad climax.

The Death to Wall-E

Thinking about this film after so long, it is still pretty fucking shocking to realize how punishing they treat Wall-E in the final act. It’s even more shocking when you realize how the roles have reversed, where Wall-E focuses more on EVE’s goal with the plant instead of EVE herself and vice versa. Then again, I say it’s fair that they did this, to show how much Wall-E was willing to sacrifice for the one he loves which makes the painful wails we hear from EVE feel all the more impactful. Like you’re serious with her as she struggles to accept his death before they reach Earth. And speaking of Earth...

The Finale

Now, I can’t help but argue it’s an unfortunate plothole that EVE is somehow able to fully repair Wall-E in spite of never fixing anything else in the film. Then again, it’s fucking pumping seeing her move quick to put him back together and it’s that final stomp on the heart when, even when he’s fully restored, Wall-E bares no memories of her or anything. You see her desperately try to get him to remember anything only to be met with an emotionless, reset shell. In finally understanding Wall-E’s feelings of love, she can’t really be with him. Until...

True Love’s Kiss Saves the day

I can get scientific with how getting his memories back was possible, but I won’t because the scene just works. It’s quiet, takes it time, and that last eureka moment with the two truly get to hold hands makes up for any scattered logistics. I’d say this is where Wall-E finally gets the love, but the same can be said for EVE, after everything she went through. I’ve admittedly seen a few talk about how the female lead is only valid through the love of another, typically male, but I believe what works 120% here is that the two characters basically have themselves figured out, Wall-E more than EVE, and EVE’s journey is never hindered for a sudden realization to love. She still succeeds in her mission, but the stakes for her have risen once she comes to terms with her newfound feelings and these feelings aren’t out of pocket. Wall-E has his feelings for EVE from the getgo, but dedicates to helping EVE with the goal, even if it means death. The connection they get to have is earned and is what drives the plot. EVE earns what she realizes she wants and that makes her a great female protagonist in my eye.

The Conclusion

Wall-E is a pretty warm movie; a film how the love of two brings humanity to salvation and vice versa. How EVE and Wall-E’s love is synonymous to the intertwining of modern and older technology to shape the world. But honestly, that probably wouldn’t have worked as well without how great they made EVE as a character. Wall-E is great too, but it’s astonishing to see EVE’s journey with Wall-E and show her natural growth of understanding something as warm as romance. Her journey is pretty synonymous to how I feel with the movie overall. The time we get of them on Earth is symbiotic to the time we get in space; we get an intimate journey that expands to a film about society but remains personal and intimate nonetheless. And with EVE, we get this superbly fleshed out character that’s emotive, understanding, and above all gets a resolves that’s awesome to see every time I catch or just think about this film. What else is there to say?

They’re the Best.

#wall-e #Pixar #disney #EVE #movies #awesome #analysis #Good Stuff #long post

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aboyandhisstarship · 4 years ago

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the hunger games or the quillan games which one is worse for joe average? which games are worse etc

oh man i have spent a truly ungoldy amount of time thinking about this as a kid.

but before we can have this discussion they need to be a few concessions.

1. pretty much everything about Quillan we know is from Bobby’s experice as Challenger Red, Nevva Winters and Saint Dane. Bobby was never able to talk to pretty much anyone else about Quillan they shut him down real quick.

2 one of those sources is Saint Dane, who is an insane lying time traveler

Spoiler's for the Quillan games under the cut:

the other is Nevva winters who we find out is in league with Saint Dane and got another Traveler killed, and betrayed Bobby the people of Quillan and pushed the territory into chaos. so we must take all we learn from them with a small grain of salt. as they were manipulating Bobby into a controlled outcome.

another thing worth noting is I only ever read the hunger games back in ninth grade (freshman high school) so it’s been a minute and I have not gotten that far in my Pendragon series re read for the Camp camp AU So I may be mistaken on some detail's.

alright with that out of the way let’s hop right into it.

(spoiler's for at least the Rivers of Zadaa, the Quillan games and maybe more of the pendragon series)

Quillan is the seventh territory Saint Dane attacks. he is stabbed by Bobby after he kills Loor on Zadaa, he hops into the flume and sends Bobby a taunting rhyming message through the flume to come to Quillan.

The flume is in the wall of a warehouse so large that Bobby can’t find his way out for at least a couple of hours and the Quigs are robot spiders (it’s possible that Quillan may not even have animals anymore?)

one thing Bobby is made a challenger because Nevva left him challenger clothes' by the flume, Katniss becomes a tribute to save her sister. this is another big difference between our main characters, Bobby has been running around the universe trying to stop saint Dane for years. he has a mixture of Zadaa and Denduron warrior training, to put him in the context of the hunger games...Bobby is a career.

that is not to say of course that Bobby would enter the games of either world on purpose. god no he hates death games as much as the next guy. but he is in a unique position to experice the games differently.

speaking of lets talk about the fundamental difference between the Quillan games and the Hunger Games.

1. Hunger games have a winner

ok now the term Winner is pretty subjective. but in the technical sense there is usually a single winner of the Hunger Games, one person survives and is rewarded with the “perks” of winning. on the other side Bobby straight up asks 13(?) his Dado butler if any Challenger's ever retire, and the Dado answers no, they all die playing the games. so the Quillan games have no winners (except for Blok but more on them later)

2. There is no government, the World of Quillan is run by evil Walmart

pretty much what it says on the Tin by the time Bobby shows up Blok runs the entire place, or at least it is claimed to be that way by Nevva and Saint Dane. they are un reliable sources for sure but we do say the board members acting as judges and governors in cases of failure to preform to the company's liking. and we do see the punishment for not being able to sell a large enough volume of jackets in summer is death...which while a bit dramatic leads us to the final major difference between Quillan and Panem

3. The Purpose of the Quillan Games are a tool to give the people of Quillan hope for a better life, while the Hunger games, are a truly baffling attempt to control an enslaved populace

honestly if Panem was a territory I would say the whole hunger games idea was Saint Danes to cause the up rising, because damn the hunger games are a god awful idea. oh you don't want a group of people to rebel...I know lets take there children by force and force them to fight to the death every year! oh and let’s make them watch! yea not a recipe for success, not to mention the fact that they gave one of those districts nukes! (the capital are damn geniuses I swear) a rebellion is inevitable. on Quillan the rebellion is also inevitable but not because of the games (ok it’s not just the games on Panem, but the Hunger games DO NOT HELP) on Quillan the rebellion's is inevitable because of Mister Pop and there suffering. but back on topic, the People of Quillan bet on the games in the hopes of winning extra food, money a better job house etc, you know stuff that makes life suck less. but since just about everyone is dirt floor poor. they don’t have much to bet with, except...there lives! again sorry a bit melodramatic, but also true we see on several occasions people who either lose the stand alone arcade games or the proper televised games and are hauled off by Dado’s to some unknown fate. Nevva says they are either enslaved as unpaid labor or worse, forced to work in the reactors which are impossible to survive. naturally there is some betting on the Hunger games, but it is not the poor and down trodden doing it in hope of a better life. it is mostly capital dicks being capital dicks.

4: Challengers are “better taken care of” before they die.

a man must be healthy before he can be excuted. same basic idea, since there are no winners in the Quillan games (and they are not called the Hunger games...really flexed your legs with that one huh the capital, you guys came up with that in what 10 maybe 15 minutes) they as Leebarge claims are treated like royalty, and it is true they are well fed and given nice, if clown filled rooms to live in and they throw a party every night. a party that is already pretty hefty but even more so on the days when someone doesn’t die. the tributes generally spend next to no time with each other before the games and are to busy trying not to starve to death and killing each other to throw a party during the games proper.

but now that we have discussed the key differences let’s talk where they are on the same footing.

1: the “Prizes”

both games have the same Prize for “winning” I put Winning in quotes because as already discussed you don’t actually win the Quillan games you just don't lose for a while. if you win the hunger games, you become super doper dummy rich and your entire district gets more food for the entire year. oh yea that will stop people wanting to lynch you with your entrails. then again what you get for being a challenger is way way worse. according to 13 the Robo Butler, Challenger's are chosen by Veego kidnapped from there families and forced to compete, if they win there families get food, and if they lose. and they will sooner or later there family get the ashes.

2. The rise up

both Books have people rise up after a big scale tournament, there is one big difference...Quillan is betrayed by Nevva Winter the Dado’s destroy Mr. Pop the last shred of Non Blok controlled Cultural history on Quillan and Saint Dane has his second territory, and Bobby almost dies for nothing. the Hunger games if I recall correctly it actually works and things suck a lot less...hopefully anyway.

Conclusion:

this is a difficult issue to tackle but I am going to say, Quillan is worse for Joe Average. having to bet your life for a chance for food is a bit worse because it is only the illusion of hope as Saint Dane claims. the games them selves...depends on the year but I will say Hunger games, mostly because if I recall all challengers are about Bobby’s age or a bit older 16- 18, there are no 8 year old's being forced to fight to the death. but yea other then that I would put the two death games on Par.

do you agree? let’s discuss! thanks for reading!

#Pendragon #The Quillan Games #The hunger games #let's discuss #Nevva WInters #Bobby Pendragon #saint dane #katniss everdeen #the Captial are idiots

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fuck-customers · 5 years ago

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Happy New Year hope you like Heatstroke

Yeah so. Event Services binch back with a long and harrowing tale. Those two shift days in a row on 30th and 31st were nooooot good for me. This is pretty much a 'Fuck how shitty my boss gets when she's stressed and also just fuck 14 hour shifts in general'.

The 9hrs on Monday turned into 9.5 hours. In 30c+ heat (and just a reminder, Sydney is currently constantly covered in smoke haze, we are always breathing smoke), but a breeze came through early afternoon to save us some. There was 4 of us putting up park signange in prep for the NYE event. I ended up schleping the ladder around a lot, I was the only one on that team that actually does weights so i carried a lot. Not a problem really except the signs and ladder are awkward to carry. Only real issue that day was my dinner was in the fridge all day which... turned out hadn't been working for 2 days (why they hadn't fucking put a sign on it about that I DON'T KNOW). Lots of people's shit got thrown out. My food was only just edible after nuking in the microwave cause i keep it in a thermo lunch bag.

The worst was NYE. 13 hour shift (it actually became a 14 hour shift). Started at 12pm, set to finish at 1am (I finished at 2). The sun was not forgiving, we had way more signage to put up because we had to wait for barriers to be set up before we could add signage to them (like line barriers for rides, entry barriers for VIP areas, that kinda thing). Our instruction sheets were BAD. They had OLD pictures that were tiny so seeing what signs were supposed to go where was hard. There was only three of us, the weather was in the high 30's and I'm sure it hit 40 at one point.

I ate a small brunch at 10 that morning. I did not get a break by 5pm like we were supposed to (park was to open at 6:30). I was yelled at by my boss for all the signage being in the wrong places and wasting cable ties (none of that signage I put up, or signage i put up with someone else's instruction they had gotten from my boss btw, so why i got yelled at idk). I was told to go straight up to my box office shift, I did not realise the box office was located outside with no shade during NYE (there was a marquee but the sun was low and behind us so *shrug* no sun cover).

I had to share a locker because NYE be like that, but the person I was sharing with was a ditz, and she thought I had the key, and she either lost it or didn't look for it properly in her pockets. Either way, I had to frantically run around in 38c trying to find her to get in the locker to change into the long black uniform pants I have to wear for box shift.

By the time i found her, got my pants on, walked all the way out the front and up the stairs and up the hill and down the path to box i was nearly dead. The other girls there told me i could sit cause it wouldn't get busy for a while. So i sat on a bench and then became very aware of how hot i was and how much i was not cooling down and i felt nauseous. And I had had like 2 and a half litres of water at this point, I have a 1ltr bottle so it makes tracking that easy. It just wasn't doing enough.

One of the Guest relations people hanging out up there went 'yeah okay you need first aid' so she got me some hydrolyte and escorted me down once I'd shaken off enough dizziness to walk again. Was in First Aid for half an hour, they got me to drink more hydrolyte and put an ice pack on my neck and gave me a barley sugar lozenge to get my blood sugar up. Then i was finally given my half hour break on their insistence. Got to eat at last. Had to check in with FA before going back to my box shift, and thankfully by then, about 6:30, a wind change came through making the temp drop about 10 degrees.

But I basically spent the time between then and 11:30 recovering ( I was on guest list duty and also did ticket collect, it was pretty quiet tho). At 9:40 my boss called one of the shift leads up at Box to see if they could send me home, and I had to say no. I was scared they'd FORCE me to leave after the heatstroke thing, but i NEED the money, this is my ONLY job, and I'm not even getting the pay for it til two weeks into the new year (it fell into the next pay period and i had no shifts inside the previous pay period).

They apparently were sending several peripheral staff home, I felt like I needed to find extra jobs to do just so they'd let me stay, but also, if i didn't stay past midnight i wouldn't get the public holiday bonus. I NEED THAT TOO. ESPECIALLY after all the work I'd done the day before, it felt like a fucking slap in the face even though i knew it was them trying to make sure I didn't end up getting sick and suing or some shit (As if i have the money to sue). Also I'd miss the Fireworks, which while not my main concern, still a bummer, because my dudes. Sydney Fireworks on NYE with a view from where I work. People pay more money than I currently have just to experience it. Honestly it's part of the payoff for the hell shift.

THANKFULLY my boss went 'ah right okay yeah just stay up there on guest list til the original end of shift'. I also made sure to stick my nose in on the sales end so i could use it as basic box office pre-training, since my boss has already said she wants to train me on box office. Somewhere around 10 I had my second break and wolfed down my food (they had a replacement staff fridge working that day thankfully) which i was glad i brought cause I never got given a staff wristband, brief sheet or token for a provided meal. Because I started before that sign in procedure was even set up for the rest of the staff. And then i went about taking down signage about 11:30, and then I did the running around taking signage down after 12, and like... the area we're in involves some steep hill walks to get to these outside sign placements (I'd put half of them up so it also made sense for me to go take them down).

And that's where MORE fuckery came in, because the shitty instructions didn't tell me where ALL the signs were, so i had to go HUNTING for the ones i HADN'T put up, and i swear either another department took them down and didn't relay that, or they'd been removed by council or something thinking they belonged to council. Either way i was up and down those fucking hills with horribly chaffed thighs, sore legs, sore arms, cut up hands from removing signs with cable ties too tight, and I couldn't find half the fucking signs. but at least I took one of the newbies with me to help look so I had a witness to not being able to find things.

So yeah. I had to go find my supervisor (no idea where boss was, prefer supervisor anyway, she's nicer under stress and poor thing was pulling a 19 hour shift) and let her know I was an hour over my finish time and which signs we hadn't been able to retrieve. She was fine with that, the rest of the people were scheduled for packdown to like 3:30 so she sent me to sign out.

And then i had to just sit for about 45 minutes back of house with some of the others who'd clocked off at 1 and who were waiting for the free leftovers from the VIP areas that came out at 3. I had a tiny tasty cake thing but that was it, then I left at 3 and got home about 4:45. Didn't get to sleep til about 5:30.

And I've spent yesterday and today trying to recover but now Iv'e got weird low-buzz tinnitus in my left ear that started yesterday and hasn't fucked off, several bruises, many muscle aches, and I'm kinda dreading facing my boss again even though she probably doesn't really care much about the signage thing, she just gets really shitty and yelly under stress. But of course I've been gaslit and mistreated in so many of my other jobs that the voice in the back of my head is constantly going 'watch out bitch you might get randomly terminated at any moment!!!' even though i know i probably won't.

I can just never be sure anymore. Can't trust anyone when it comes to work. Can never relax my guard, going to be stressing about it for a long time. I am never agreeing to a shift that long again though. And definitely not doing anymore outdoor setup shifts in Summer.

Honestly hoping this ear buzz shit goes away at some point. In the end for my 23.5 hours of work in 2 days I'll probably maybe get $500 after tax. Maybe. Which will only just be floating my account by the time i get it. Everyone else was talking about having that sweet NYE bonus cash and I'm like ;u; yeah. Sure. haha. Bonus cash. TnT I need a proper fucking career job already i am so tired.

#submissions #cashier problems #fuck retail #server problems #fuck managers #submission

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the--sad--hatter · 6 years ago

Text

Name Calling (34)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION - In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

Current Word Count - 95,032

MASTERLIST

Moodboard by @talesofakindredspirit

Chapter Thirty Four - Starkcation

On the bright side you were the golden girl of the international media and had been given a medal of some kind by the Spanish Government for dismantling Los Charlínes, one of the major Galician Mafia Clans.

On the less bright side, you had three bullet wounds a broken wrist, a hairline fracture in your skull and the worst hangover known to mankind. The UN were furious with you for your unsanctioned self-appointed mission despite it’s success and you were currently sat on a Private Plane across from your extremely displeased father.

You tried to sit up and grab the glass of water but every time you moved half an inch you just ended up groaning in pain and/or throwing up.

“Help?” You muttered pathetically at Tony.

You hadn’t really needed his help or to have him fly all the way to Spain in a panic but Wade had convinced you it was a great idea. Your drunken self had agreed and paused in the middle of a shoot-out with forty odd mafia goons to phone Tony and tell him you were in trouble. By the time he arrived you were holed up in the American Consulate building being congratulated for your work by the Spanish Prime Minister and trying not to throw up into a waste-paper basket.

“I told you I needed space. You really think acting out like this is going to make things better?” Tony snapped at you as he pushed the water within reach.

You guzzled it down and collapsed back in your seat with a whimper.

“I * hiccup* missed you.” You muttered.

“You went on a killing spree with a mercenary whilst you were drunk, without any kind of back-up, without informing anyone where you were and you did it in a foreign country.” He ranted.

“Well when you say it like that it just sounds impressive.” You retorted.

“It’s… a little impressive.” He begrudgingly admitted.

“But it was dangerous, foolhardy and ill thought out and now I sound like Capsicle so thank you for that!” He continued.

“I just wanted to have fun, I needed to have fun and feel good feelings but I realised no matter how hard I try it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t love me anymore.” You said weepily.

There was a slight possibility you were still drunk.

“I can’t love you if you’re dead! If this had gone badly you’d be floating in the ocean right now as shark bait!” Tony yelled and you winced at the volume.

“But I won. Well we did, Wade helped. He got all the money and I got all the credit. There’s a country with a lot less crime going on, there’s less drugs being intentionally shipped, we get to spend quality time together and I have a pet donkey! There’s no downside.” You insisted.

There was in fact a donkey in the cargo bay of the ship, gifted to you by a very grateful family who’s son had been taken by the mafia a few years prior. His name was Mr Donkeypool and Tony had to pull some strings so you could take him back to the US where he was going to live on the Barton farm since Laura had happily agreed to take him in.

“No downside? You’ve got so many bullet holes in you you’re practically swiss!” He pointed out.

“I’ll heal.” You pouted.

“You’re too much like me, I can’t argue with you.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Does that mean you forgive me?” You asked hopefully.

“For risking The Accords and international politics? Yes. For falling in love with the 100 year old brainwashed assassin who orphaned me? I’m trying, I really am.” He admitted.

“I know you need time, I do. But do you have to ignore me? I won’t rub me and Bucky in your face, I promise but please don’t push me away.” You begged.

Tony looked guilty and reached over to slowly adjust your seat so you were lying down.

“Get some sleep Kit Kat, you need it. We’ll talk more once we’ve landed.” He instructed you.

You were drunk and hungover at the same time, in massive amounts of pain and emotionally and physically exhausted. You didn’t have to be told twice. Your breathing evened out quickly and Tony watched your face smooth over as you fell asleep.

Maybe pushing you away wasn’t the best idea. He couldn’t face you and Barnes but maybe he didn’t have to just yet. Secretary Ross needed time to cool off and you needed some R&R away from the buzzing public while you healed. He pulled out his phone and started making arrangements.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tony gently shook you awake as the plane a few hours later.

“We’re landing Kit Kat.” He warned you.

The sun was streaming through the windows and you blinked blearily, shifting to check your pain levels. You were stiff as hell and your mouth felt like dry moulded over cardboard but you had healed a little bit. You’d gone from death’s door the death’s driveway so it was an improvement at least.

The plane tilted as it began it descent and the pilot spoke over the intercom.

“Good morning Mr Stark, Miss Stark. We’ve begun our descent and will arrive at Van Nuys Airport shortly.” He said.

“Where?” You asked groggily.

“We’re in Malibu, you haven’t been to the New House I had built here yet and you need a few days for your injuries to heal.” Tony explained.

“So we aren’t in New York?” You asked, puzzled.

“No we’re in Malibu.” He repeated, shaking his head at you and handing you an espresso.

“Why?” You asked.

“For Gods sake… We’re here to have a vacation.” He said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh. OH! Really? We? As in you’re staying?” You asked excitedly.

“Well I’m not leaving you alone in my beach-front mansion, you’ll probably invite every morally dubious individual in the city over and throw a rager.” He snarked.

You ignored the sass and grinned happily at him.

“I would never do that, not without inviting you anyway.” You offered.

“No parties, can’t believe I’m saying that. Pepper landed a couple of hours ago and will meet us at the house. This will be a peaceful family bonding holiday. With lots of booze. For me, you’re being dried out.” He informed you.

You couldn’t care less, you were going to get to spend a few days with Tony and Pepper. Pain aside, this was the best news ever.

When the plane landed Tony had to help you hobble off it and down the stairs and as he guided you across the tarmac you decided there was something magical about the sky in Malibu, it was so blue. You barely had a chance to see it as Tony ushered you both into the waiting car but he did put the top down for you as he drove you both to his house.

Mr Donkeypool was in good hands he assured you, he was being transported to the house and he was going to be a beach Donkey for a few days. Tony promised he’d be happy in Malibu and he’d hired someone to look after him until it was time to send him to the farm.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After you washed the jet lag off in the gigantic en suite shower you wandered back into your bedroom. Pepper had set out a sundress on the bed for you in your favourite colour and you smiled at the gift. Pepper had a penchant for spoiling you.

You slipped it on, mindful of your plasters and bandages and after gently rotating your wrist you decided you could get away without rewrapping it. It was fairly healed by now.

You happily slid down the bannister and joined Tony and Pepper on the back deck where luch had been set up.

“There you are sweetheart, how was your shower?” Pepper asked you, passing you a glass of orange juice.

“Great! I’ll enjoy it more when I’m not doing weird acrobatics to keep my bandages dry though.” You admitted.

“Maybe try not getting shot next time.” Tony snorted.

“This coming from the man who flew a nuke through an alien wormhole.” Pepper berated him and you smirked.

“Wait how did this become about me?” Tony asked, perplexed.

“Isn’t everything?” You quipped and he toasted you in agreement.

“If you’re feeling up to it we were going to take a walk on the beach after lunch.” Pepper informed you.

“I’m ready, I’ve never been to the beach!” You admitted excitedly.

“You two have fun, I’m going Jet Skiing.” Tony informed you both.

“Tony...” Pepper warned.

“Don’t worry, Kit Kat is going to help me test the new repulsor gauntlet on the beach later.” He assured her.

You choked on the bite of fruit salad you’d just swallowed.

“I am?” You asked.

“Yip. I’ll throw stuff and you can shoot it. It’ll be fun.” He said.

“And perfectly safe dear.” He told Pepper confidently.

Tony and Pepper continued to affectionately bicker throughout lunch, you and Pepper teaming up to make fun of him every few minutes.

“That’s it, I’m leaving while I still have a shred of ego intact.” Tony sulked, kissing you both on the cheek.

“Want to take that walk now?” Pepper asked you and you nodded.

She linked her arm with yours since you were still a little unsteady as you both casually strolled along the sandy beach.

It was beautiful and calming and while you missed Bucky terribly (He was sending you sad face emoji’s every half hour and you were going to kill whoever taught him how to use emoji’s) you found you were strangely happy. You just weren’t you when you didn’t have Tony.

“So you and Barnes?” Pepper asked, diving right in.

“I know, I picked the worst possible person to fall for.” You sighed, ready for her disappointment.

“I’m not sure you did. I remember how much you admired him before you even met him and how he inspired you to ask Tony if you could join the Avengers. I think you and Bucky have a connection, a unique way of understanding each other.” She admitted.

“You’re not mad at me because of the complications?” You asked her.

“What happened to Tony’s parents was in no way Sargent Barnes fault, he’s a good man. I admire him for trying to make amends for the things he was forced to do, it takes real bravery and strength. And maybe, this will help Tony finally see Bucky as someone other than his parents killer.” She said.

You were speechless. Pepper not only supported you, she saw Bucky the same way you did and saw hope for Tony and Bucky’s relationship.

“Thank you.” You told her earnestly, holding her a little closer as you walked.

“If he hurts you though, it won’t be Tony he has to be afraid of.” She warned and you laughed, even though you quite believed her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was the same scene he had watched on a grainy video in Sibera but this time he was there, frozen and unable to do anything as his parents car was ran off the road. He watched the Soldier stalk over to the car and kill his parents, horrified and heartbroken but he couldn’t stop it.

“Dad… Help me.”

He turned slowly, in fear at the familiar voice. His daughter, his Kit Kat was sprawled across the road, covered in blood. He tried to go to her but he couldn’t move as The Soldier walked over to her.

She coughed weakly, reaching up to stroke The Soldiers face lovingly as he knelt down and placed his metal hand on her neck.

“Barnes, stop.” Tony croaked.

“I love you.” She said, to him or the Soldier he wasn’t sure.

The metal hand crushing her windpipe jerked to the side and her neck snapped with a sickening crunch. Her unseeing eyes looked straight through Tony.

Tony woke up covered in sweat. Pepper was sleeping soundly next to him and he quietly slipped out of the bed without disturbing her and left the room. The door to your room was cracked open and he peered through. The room was empty. His heart skipped a beat before he spotted your silhouette on the balcony and he walked over to join you.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked.

You’d had a long day, playing in the sun with him all afternoon after your walk with Pepper. You’d been exhausted at dinner and assumed you’d sleep through the night.

“Too much on my mind.” You admitted.

“Wanna go down to the lab and help me rewire the circuitry on the Jet Ski I crashed?” He offered.

“Sure.” You shrugged and followed him downstairs.

“Why are you awake?” You asked him.

“Too much on my mind.” He mimicked you.

“Touche” You muttered as you both entered the lab.

“So what’s eating you Kit Kat?” He snorted at his own dad joke.

“Just nervous about my first session at Xavier’s. It’s straight after we go home.” You admitted.

“Why would you be nervous about having a telepath poking around in your brain?” He asked sarcastically.

Why indeed. What was lurking in your subconscious was weighing heavily on your mind, no pun intended and you wished you could discuss it with somebody.

“Dad I...”

You almost told him. You wanted to. But how could you tell him that the monster within you was one of your own making? That there was a very real part of you that wanted to destroy the world. That deep down in your soul, you were evil.

“I know Kit Kat. I know.” He said.

You frowned and he sighed heavily.

“There’s a video in The Vernichtung Files from the one time Docherty managed to call Vernichtung to the surface. Since I saw it, on some level I’ve known the truth since I found you. It wasn’t until the Professor told me you needed his help to make yourself whole again that I worked it out though.” He admitted.

“You know what Vernichtung is?”

“Yes sweetheart, it’s you.”

“How did you know?”

“Genius remember?” he snorted.

“You aren’t afraid of me, you don’t hate me?” You asked fearfully.

“I’ve never met anyone without a dark side. The difference is you literally locked yours away to keep it contained, that doesn’t make you evil, that makes you stronger than most people.” He assured you.

“But my Dark side wants to kill people!” You insisted.

“And my good side created a killer robot and sold weapons of mass destruction. Nobody is perfect, especially those of us with power. Don’t mistake your capability for destruction with being a bad person. The fact is you’re the same as everyone else except for the fact you fight harder than most. Being a good person is a choice and you went through hell to stick to that choice.” He rebutted.

Your eyes teared up. Tony knew the worst parts of you and loved you anyway, more than that he saw the good in it that you couldn’t. You tried to stifle a sob by burying your face into his shoulder and you felt him put his arm around you.

“No matter what happens kid, I’m proud of you. Always will be.” He assured you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

STARKCATION

The hottest new Hero on the block is taking a much deserved vacation in Malibu after her busy week.

Deathwave hasn’t been on the scene for long but she’s already proving herself to be a force to be reckoned with. After her debut taking down aliens in the Capital it was revealed that the mysterious hero was actually the youngest Stark and a Secret Avenger, one responsible for helping the Secretary Of State save millions of lives and facilitating the arrest Benjamin Newlands.

Her tragic backstory was then revealed and hearts around the world broke as they read about the harrowing upbringing of the mutant know as ‘Vernichtung’. Raised by what can only be described as a mad scientist the young mutant was primed to end the world and live up to her namesake but instead chose to become a symbol of goodness and hope.

Fans around the world have accepted her into their hearts and while there are naysayers and those who believe she poses a threat, the general consensus is that the heroine is the symbol of strength and hope we all need. Proving that people can be what they chose and not what they are told, we our the masters of out own fate.

Seen earlier today walking along the beach with billionaire superhero Tony Stark, it seems the hero on everyone’s minds is enjoying some family time after her recent victory in Spain. We can only assume her father is as proud of her as the general public is since the family are celebrating in the sun.

“She’s almost ready.” He said with a vicious grin after reading the article.

“Doctor?”

“Everything is proceeding as I hoped. Vernichtung will soon learn her final lesson. The more she gives in to hope and happiness, the easier it is for me to break her.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The drunken shenanigans with Deadpool were left out for several reasons...

It just seemed funnier to see the aftermath.

I'm in too deep a sad funk to write a funny drunk chapter. I'm starting to wrap up this fic now, so there are several chapters left but we are in the home stretch now. I was informed that longer fics can put readers off so I'm quitting while I'm ahead, before anyone gets too bored. As long as people are still interested I'll still do sequels and one-shots though, but that is mostly up to you lovely folks!

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first @thejourneyneverendsx @thelostallycat @inquisitor-selvala @the-corruptor @iovher @kendrawr-kitkat @phoenix-whiskey-tears @the--real-wombat @buckitybarnes @fairislesheets @angieptt @meganjonezzzz @dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty @memanda17 @krystallynx @theonelittleone @piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes @tarastudiesalot @captainamericasbeard @dropthepizza346 @jaynnanadrews @likes-to-smell-books @drdorkus @life-wanderer @metalarmlover @animegirlgeeky@jsmith509

#hattersmarvelverse #Bucky x Reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky x you #avengers x reader #dad tony stark #parent tony stark

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xoleahbeanxo · 5 years ago

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Halloween Short #9

One Bullet Left

Hi, my name is Alicia; I’m one of the few remaining survivors at the end of the world.

Those things below, those are zombies. We call them Biters just to be cool. If I go down there, they’ll tear me apart or worse, I’ll become one of them. Neither prospect is good which is why I’m just chilling on these rafters until help comes or I lose my nerve and do myself in.

How did I get here? Well, I tell you, it’s not like I have anywhere to be, so listen up.

Three months ago the world changed. It started with a flu that spread across the country. ‘Remember to get your flu shots’, they reminded us. All the pharmacies offered the shots for five dollars off, as long as you were a member of course. Shit, I fell for it too.

Not even a week later, there were reports of a few sporadic cases of people being attacked by gangs in the street. All the attacks were fatal and seemed like some form of cannibalistic ritual. The victims seemed to be eaten after they were killed. I mean, who does that?

The answer wasn’t one we expected or wanted. It was worse than anything we could have imagined. Bite victims, the ones who died got up and became violent, attacking those who hadn’t been bit yet. The virus spread at an alarming rate.

Three weeks in and the military mobilized. They nuked New York, Detroit, and Los Angeles in a desperate attempt to alleviate the largest populated areas. Washington tried to corral the “normal” folks towards the middle of the country, away from the bigger cities where they’d be safe.

The president wanted to build a wall to keep the biter’s out. Great idea, everyone was onboard for it, until the government contractor was bitten and all soon were the rest of crew.

Two weeks after that, D.C. fell. House of Representatives locked themselves inside for safety. They should have been pickier about who they let in. The guy they send on coffee runs wasn’t so willing to admit he’d been bitten. I doubt he was upset about sharing the love with those dick bags.

Senate fell next, a much smaller transition if you ask me. The Speaker of the House read prayers and psalms as they all shared their last drink of spiked punch. Strychnine is a hell of a chaser but it doesn’t quite prevent zombieism.

Then the president went missing. Some believe he went into an underground bunker, but no one knows for sure. Not that it matters, he’s old and fat and if he comes above ground for anything, he’ll be the perfect meal for one of those assholes.

That’s when humanity turned to a free for all. I’m actually surprised we lasted as long as we did, to be honest.

I broke off towards North Dakota with a group of families. The roads were thick with Biters and we just couldn’t get the kids to move fast enough through the wilderness. When we did manage to find safety in a town, then other survivors became a problem.

By the time we made it to where we were going, it was just me, Samantha, Jordan, and his two children.

Scared, huddled together in some old people’s house, we had no food to speak of and even less to defend ourselves with. I wanted to die but for some crazy reason, I just couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger. I don’t know if it was because I felt like had to get right with god over all the shitty things I’ve done since this whole thing started. Maybe there was a part of me that still thought I could do some good in this world. So I carried, we all did.

About two weeks ago, we got our big break. A gang of bikers were hold up at the bar down the street. Jordan and I snuck in and took care of them while they were asleep. I know it’s a terrible thing to do, but you don’t know these people like I do. Jordan and I had a run in with them a few nights ago. They kidnapped little Lauren and did unspeakable things to her. Monsters that could do that to an eleven-year-old, deserves to die like pigs.

With them gone, we had rides, guns, food, water, you name it. We were heading further north, as far as we could go. The Biter can’t walk around in the frozen north, that’s a fact.

That brings us to right now and how I got into this mess. We were scavenging for fuel for the motorcycles. I got separated from Jordan, Samantha, and Trey by a pack of those Biters. They chased me in here, where I found a huge nest of them lying in wait. I managed to climb up here before any of them got me.

Now, herein lies the problem, I can’t get out and Jordan knows to take off with others if I don’t return by dawn which is fast approaching. I have three options, bite the bullet figuratively and let the Biters have me; bite the bullet literately and shoot myself in the head; or starve to death. None of these options have a happy ending but nothing’s been really happy about this situation since it started.

I guess there’s only one choice to make.

Shit, I dropped my gun and it went off. There goes my one last bullet. I can’t catch a break. Starve it is I guess.

Is that someone outside the window?

“Alicia is that you? This ain’t the time to be hanging out, girl.”

“Jordan?”

“Yeah, I’ve been looking for you for an hour now. That was smart of you to shoot your gun, lead me right to you.”

“Come on, you can climb across the rafters, drop down on that shelf and boogie through the window. Let’s go.”

Sometimes you just get lucky, I guess.

#Horror #Halloween #Leendenwrites #Drabble

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superjennysunshine · 6 years ago

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ABC’s of your OC’s

a list of oc questions in alphabetical categories - i made each category based on the first word I could think of in alphabetical order, so enjoy!

Waffles’ taking the stadnd on this one.

A: Aptitude 1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

Hitting things with a hammer.

2. what activities have they participated in?

None to my knowledge.

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

The ability to talk to a pretty lady without shaking.

4. what things are they bad at?

She’s not a smooth talker, let’s just leave it at that.

5. what is their most impressive talent?

As soon as she gets one, doing a kickflip on a skateboard.

B: Basics 1. what is their hair color?

Dark brown.

2. what is their eye color?

Orange/Yellow.

3. how tall are they?

3ft 5 inch.

4. how old are they?

19.

5. how much do they weigh?

I’m too stupid to come up with an exact number but she is a really buff goblin so do with that what you will.

C: Comfort 1. how do they sit in a chair?

Feet on the seat with legs spread and arms resting on her knees.

2. in what position do they sleep?

She says she sleeps all spread out in every direction but she curls up into a tiny ball.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

Fishing.

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

Waffles, her grandfather used to make them for her all the time and she loved them so much they became her name sake.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

No one. Not since her Grandfather and even he had a hard time doing it.

D: Decoration 1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

First of all a front door mat that says “Welcome Y’all”, and a lot of country things like train lamps and old paintings that she has no idea what they're about, cup holders that have a map of the world on them (thanks for this suggestion dad lol), in the kitchen a lot of things relating to fruit, like fruit plates, and cups, and little hand towels with fruit on them. Y’know southern trailer park “we like to pretend this house is connected to the ground” type decoration.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

She has 18 children in cannon so who knows pal. Does a bed and a hug count as decoration?

3. how do they decorate their own room?

Anything she got from her adventures probably but that’s about it.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

In canon she wears a hide tank with a skirt/shorts and foot and hand wraps, but i made a modern AU version of her that wears an human sized DragonBallZ t shirt and it looks kinda like a dress in an odd way and it’s so cute and hilarious.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

HAHAHAAAHAHAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

fuck no.

E: External Personality 1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

maybe like ten trillion percent.. Waffle doesn’t really hide who she is.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

Is it a city persons norm? Or a swamp Urchins norm? depends on who you’re asking.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

She does her own thing mostly.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

No but she loves to dab.

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

She wears her personality on her sleeve. She’s too go ham to not be foward about anything.

F: Fun 1. what do they do for fun?

Run around in the woods and get hurt doing stupid shit, that’s her brand of fun right there.

2. what is their ideal party?

Getting high, eating funyuns, drinking Yoohoo and playing DDR with her friends IN THAT ORDER.

3. who would they have the most fun with?

Kringo has a Pillow fort.

End of discussion.

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Maybe? her source of joy doesn’t necessarily come from doing illegal things but apparently it’s bad to beat the shit out of bad people in someplaces and she does think giving villains their just desserts is fun so.

5. do they go out a lot?

Side? Yes. Partying? No. Theres a lot of pretty ladies in clubs and it makes the poor girl shake. I only said she could talk to one girl and not shake remember?

G: Gorgeous 1. what is their most attractive external feature?

Waffle has the cutest eyes you’ve ever goddamn seen.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

She’s funny apparently, that’s pretty attractive.

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

She’s always down to hang and she’ll take a nuke for you after being her friend for about 7 seconds.

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

She tends to feel inadequate intellectually with some of her peers, it bothers her more than she lets on.

5. what parts of others do they envy?

Despite lacking intelligence she isn’t envious of people who have it, she’s more jealous of people who are smooth talkers because it would be easier to net a girlfriend that way.

H: Heat 1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

Warm, she likes being toasty.

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Winter, when it’s cold outside it makes a warm room all the more comfy.

3. do they like the snow?

She’s actually never seen snow but she’d love it.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

Fishing or taking a swim.

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

Camping!

I: In-the-closet 1. what is their sexuality?

Waffle is good ol disaster lesbian.

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

No.

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

No.

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Her Mother and Father hate her and everything else so no. But her Grandpa loved everyone which is a trait that carried into her adulthood.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

If she lived with her parents she probably wouldn’t have at all, but she would tell her grandpa no problem.

J: Joy 1. what makes them happy?

Having fun, and seeing her friends be happy.

2. who makes them happy?

Any of her friends can make her happy.

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

Edge of Seventeen makes her feel badass.

4. are they happy often?

90% of the time yes.

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

Going fishing with a friend.

K: Kill

1. have they ever thought about suicide?

No.

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

If it’s to bad people, all the time.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

No one specific just the worst person she could think of in that moment.

4. who would miss them if they died?

I assume her friends.

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

Her mom and dad wouldn’t be happy they probably just wouldn’t care.

L: Lemons 1. what is their favorite fruit?

Watermelon.

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

Pineapple.

3. are there any foods they hate?

Pineapple again. It’s just too much for the poor girl to handle.

4. do they have any food intolerances?

She has a nut allergy.

5. what is their favorite food?

Waffles, especially with strawberries on top.

M: Maternal 1. would they want a daughter or a son?

She would just want a child, she has no preference.

2. how many children do they want?

As many as she can care for before crumbling to dust.

3. would they be a good parent?

The. FUCKING. BEST.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

Her process when naming her children would be to wait till they can speak and cook loads of food and let the child pick their favorite (and by that i mean her wife would NOT let her name them lol).

5. would they adopt?

She has too, and would love to.

N: Never Have I Ever 1. what would they never do?

hurt an innocent person.

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

Sing Karaoke.

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Actually be evil. How is it even possible when being nice is so fun.

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

we’ll find out on the next episode of Cafe Gio: Waterdeep is so fucked

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

Not yet, but they will eventually.

O: Optimism

1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic.

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

I mean she tries to be pretty optimistic no matter what.

3. are they good at giving advice?

GOD NO. WAFFLES AN IDIOT.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Joe’s inspired her a couple of times and she’s really appreciated it.

5. were they always optimistic?

Yes.

P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait?

She’s very nice and welcoming to most.

2. what is their worst personality trait?

She’s a damn idiot that girl. She’s like a bull that sees red all that time.

3. what of their personality do others love?

Jeff I’m sending this to you so you tell me.

4. what of their personality do others envy?

I feel like some people would be jealous of being able to look on the bright side all the time.

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

Waffle knows she’s a disaster lesbian and fucking despises it (the disaster part obviously)

Q: Questions 1. do they ask for help?

No.

2. do they ask questions in class?

A better question would be does she ever stop asking questions in class.

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

yes, but with a blush.

4. do they ask weird questions?

Unintentionally yes.

5. are they curious?

God yes.

R: Rules 1. do they follow rules?

Almost never.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

Stricter than you think but still pretty laid back. She’d be fine with letting her kids go and get into trouble but would definitely keep an eye to make sure they don’t do anything too stupid.

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?

She just recently got detained. But when the pretty captain lady showed up those cuffs got a little warmer IFYAKNOWWHATIMSAYIN.

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

No, she will eventually, but not right now.

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

If at any point someone stops helping someone else because of a rule? Yes.

S: Streets 1. are they street-smart?

More like Swamp Smart.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

Hell yeah.

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

One time. two thousand more to go.

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

She got daggers thrown at her, that wasn’t particularly her best day.

5. are they cautious when out?

Caution is not a part of Waffles vocabulary.

T: Truth 1. are they honest?

Yes. Dangerously some would say.

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

No, she’s naturally inclined to believe people mostly anyway.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

Yeah... Poor Waffle, the little girl can’t even lie right.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

Not yet.

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

No.

U: Underdog 1. have they been bullied?

Yes. Her parents were absolute bastards to her.

2. have they bullied anyone?

If she did i would hop universes and smack the soul out of her.

Also no she’s not an asshole.

3 have they been physically attacked by a bully?

HA , if they wanted to lose their fucking arm.

4. have they ever been doubted?

Probably.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

Not to my knowledge.

also probably wont we’ll just nip that expectation in the bud.

V: Vomit 1. do they vomit often?

No.

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

Yes. She doesn’t know why.

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

If you enjoy rabbit soup and warm hugs than yes.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

A warm blanket, warm food, If she lives in the modern AU maybe a nice movie.

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

When she’s nervous she stutters.

W: Water 1. do they drink enough water?

Yes.

2. have they learned to swim?

She could place gold in laps if she wasn’t 3 feet tall.

3. do they like to swim?

Yes!

4. can they dive?

CANNONBALLS ONLY!

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

Yes.

X: Xylophone 1. what is their favorite genre of music?

Southern Rock.

2. do they have a favorite song?

Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks.

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

She thinks Stevie Nicks is an actual witch, and she thinks that’s fucking DOPE.

4. can they sing well?

God no.

5. can they rap?

God do i wish.

Y: You 1. how old were you when you created them?

20 (it feels like i’ll never not be 20 and im sure that’s a good thing for people that don’t feel like fucking dust like i do).

2. what inspired you to create them?

I found the art of her and the idea just snowballed from there.

3. were they different when they were first created?

She had a canon sister in the very early days called Pushdaisy who i might still make but they wont be sisters.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

Yes, were similar in our eloquence and intelligence so when I’m writing i just have to ask myself what a braver me would do.

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

I don’t have one, i love Waffle so much and she means so much to me as a character.

Z: Zebra 1. what’s their favorite animal?

Pig.

2. do they like animals?

Yes!

3. cats or dogs?

Dogs, they got those floppy ears!

4. what’s their dream pet?

An actual whole ass Land Shark, I am not joking.

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

A pig named chicken but it’s not with her.

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davidjjohnston3 · 3 years ago

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Might be last 'typing for a while... I f--king hate myself for not taking that job; the principal was sincere; they called my former employer. The landscape was beautiful like 'The Place Promised in Our Early Days' with the dark pines. Paju is a center of the publishing industry although books / fiction and the whole 'condition of fiction' by which people think their own children, neighbors, selves etc. are anime characters is pozzed from here to Eternity along with personality-politics. There is a poem or 'hymn' or 'psalm' or 'cry of the heart' I wish I could write spurred partially by Servants of Christ's video with the river in Korea and 'I Need Thee Ev'ry Hour. I don't know why I took myself for a failure for so long or put down roots in this poisoned Babylon when in retrospect people were sending me little 'Evangelical Satanism' messages in the form of brand-slogans et cetera for like 5 years instead of reasoning honestly. That's why I sincerely say nuke Milwaukee - that's not pedagogy, neighborliness, love, family, friendship. It's nothing but a swap-meet. I got sad today looking at a picture of a celebrity from a famous rigged girl-group that I always defended the rigging of due to aesthetic opinions about 'composition' and realizing something that my college girlfriend's roommate realized about her back in the day but then I felt, 'The condition of prostitution in some respects is preferable to the condition of Germanic / Teutonic purism, which leads to pedophilia and homosexuality on the one hand and mass-murder on the other.' Moreover you can just look at a f-cking hostess-bar and talk and it prepares one for love IMO better than Western movies although I don't know anymore. I wanted to cancel all my projects like 'Stepfather' (about a teacher getting sick of his colleagues for innuendos, careerism, negativity in the lounge, everything that ppl KNOW is bad but no one ever fixes)... just 'cause I don't know if I can even live and moreover I started to intuit the different endings idle vain people would want to see. I keep saying again and again a key component of the 'Covid culture wars' is 'anti-belief' as well as people's wanting to duel one another to the death over past grievances micro or macro. At day's end and at bottom 'anti-belief' - or attempting to convince people that truth is a lie; ex. that Koreans are unreal - compels people to pare themselves down to their ultimate solipsism or, I realize, inability to distinguish Flesh from Spirit in any fruitful and abiding way. I was reflecting on how talking about 'The Meaning of Marriage' led someone to cohabitate which totally failed for me as well as wondering whether my gifting this book was interpreted as a 'magic sign' rather than simple no-hidden-message offering. One thing I loved about Koreans at least at my first job was there were no hidden messages at least from the senior administration. I drove to Bethlehem College and Seminary and felt a power radiating from the church but am in no position to assist them or join their Global Studies program which I'd wanted to intellectually. I haven't really done anything with my life but study EAS, K-Studies, languages, etc. I had visions and dreams of stealth-bombers honestly, Russian drills planting nuclear devices deep in the Earth to destabilize the orbital axis - Putin could kill any or all of us at any time, I am convinced. I wondered if the Russians or 'Varangians' were the 'last people.' They decide. In Milwaukee, in Germany people joke about things like Hitler's dog, racism, homosexuals and amuse themselves waiting for people to get hoist by their own petard.I also remembered how for years I thought about Cordelia in 'King Lear' but despite reading this play like 30 times I still don't understand completely how a 'Christology of Cordelia' could be articulated to make people understand their blindness to Charity.Also related to Mary HK Choi's 'Yolk,' a novel which disappointed me but which I felt could be one of those 'ultima novels; last words.' I keep remembering despite whoever wants to make me forget that Covid is or was an opportunity to pursue better international relations / build connections and relations not dependent on blind policies like IMO American NK policy or other official diplomacy. I had big dreams about avoiding war as well as people holding goods more in common by my attempts to donate a few laptops and some money stripped me of my net worth and were not proportionately matched. Everyone seems so determined to live their own story and cling to things when they could be dead in 24hrs from Delta variant Covid 19 and everyone knows it. Tornadoes, hailstorms. Man spent the last hundred years of more building trillions of dollars of weapons of war while schooling problems are the same as they were back in 1881 - as are the problems faced by graduates particularly orphans and minorities and, also, any intellectual in a society which still despises these three categories. Maybe I just gave people dreams in the past and maybe I was too free in the past or stopped wearing the right clothes too soon. I gave up on the future long ago - I reflected recently as I had always felt but not articulated - that as Koreans say the favored child is favored outside the home so too the hated child is hated - but I kept getting chances even without understanding others' points of view to be a part of their past. But I don't even know if Education is the point or Build Back Better or anything like that when 4 million people died and the '3rd world' variants from India as well as South America are basically destined to come to the 1st world. I tried to convince people that there could be a beautiful future in which everyone lived more lovingly, courageously et cetera and rediscovered God. I also felt, however, from a long time ago that when it comes to US Korea policy and perhaps to the salvation or deliverance of America's domestic population from a worse Covid variant the most caring organization literally is the military and not any philanthropy; I don't know if anyone else could step in, though by that same token, I was thinking about IXK / anti-racism which I embrace as an alternative to Obamaism, and couldn't help feeling like the 'Grand Alliance' of this day has something to do with abortion-culture (which [Chancellor] John Piper summarizes as men playing God the Father and the strong preying on the weak; and for which I formulated the term 'unconditional evil' or the attitude that powerful men possess a lifelong veto over the lives and wellbeing of anyone else), though coefficient with race-relations or rather 'recognition' of other people as beautiful, beloved, perhaps chosen. I was telling someone 'Language is a phenomenological...' My favorite songs other than 'I Need Thee,' 'This Is My Father's House,' some older stuff, have been 'Make Me Love You' by Kim Taeyeon which is a song about the 'shared gaze' and 'Clover' by Fromis which embodied my desire to help kids 'get life right the first time' through teachers and structures that would 'save people from themselves.' But then my mind traveled to Japan, swords, halberds, maidens, all kinds of new birth-defects and problems in the new age, and I couldn't help feeling that some things will be very much the same and in a way it is my fault for losing my fire. I'm dreaming in dark red and am incredibly frustrated reading Eric Feigl-Ding on Twitter that the West - Canada, America, UK - is perpetrating this corporatist mass-sacrifice.. I want to just fly away to KR where at least they count the bodies honestly but wish Americans would go home, get married, go to Church more often. Everyone seems so unwilling to put their stories on hold or discard their fetishes / idols (Healthcare, Money / Mammon, Science, The Past, Ultimate Communist Utopian Social Justice, Almighty Meritocracy...). Some ambrosial(?) explosion, the Face of Jesus, with or without me may the 'Grand Alliance' prevail.

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luca-corpse · 4 years ago

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Heyo! I decided to share some old writing of mine with all of you! It’s kind of an apocalyptic story with some weird fantasy elements! Please note that all things contained in this are mine, and this is technically still my story though infinitely delayed!

Chapter 1

The Travellers

I always questioned the eye on my foot. Whenever I looked at my bare feet it always creeped me out. I blankly stared at me, not blinking as it was simply in a hole in my foot.

Doctors always questioned it, it wasn’t exactly a common occurrence. My dad insisted my parents named me Iris instead of the planned Izabella as soon as he saw the deformity. My mother shot him down, but the name stuck as a nickname.

The eye never hurt, I couldn’t see out of it, it was just... there, staring, it’s bright sclera and bright cyan hue standing out against my dark skin. I occasionally picked at it, I was even able to pop it out of it’s spot in my foot, a thick fleshy sting connecting it to the hole it laid in. I always put it back in fear that, even though it never bled when I popped the eye out, the hole might get infected.

Though, over time the eye stressed me out. Doctors made a fuss about it every time they saw it, and I hated the way it stared at me and the way it never blinked. It was fun doing staring contests against it when I was little, but as a 16 year old it was just plain creepy.

One day I decided I was done, I grabbed my nail scissors from their drawer in the bathroom and sat down on top of the counter and put my nails around the eye. I closed my eyes and pulled at the orb, it never hurt, but it always made me wince, hearing the squishy pop.

I grabbed at the string of flesh connecting the eye and my foot. I dug my nail into the flesh, it hurt a little, but I was willing to deal to get this creepy thing gone. I had the scissors open around the string, and I was seconds away from cutting the thing off... but I hesitated.

Something felt wrong about cutting it off. This always happened when I got close to cutting the thing off. I felt like something would happen if I did so. But I was done.

I cut the fleshy thread in one slice.

Nothing happened, no pain, no blood, nothing. All that happened was the eye bounced across the floor with a series of squishy splats.

I got off the counter and grabbed the eye, I finally was able to compare it to my own. I looked into the mirror and held the eye a few inches besides my own. I was sure to be careful to keep it from touching my black and gold curly locks.

It was much brighter than my eyes, a bright, almost ghostly blue compared to my more natural dark green. It was kind of creepy.

I grabbed my old tooth box from my childhood. I always left it on my bathroom counter, it brought back good memories of running into my dad’s room yelling about ‘loofin a toof!’ and listening him laugh and ask about if I’d lost it at 2:30. I quickly dropped the eye inside and shut it, locking away the neon food coloring blue peeper.

The rest of the day passed without much hassle, a lazy Saturday of browsing my phone and wanting to take a nap. I kept the eye close by, for some reason I wanted to just have it to remind myself it wasn’t attached to my body. I stayed up late into the night, before finally passing out on the couch.

I woke up suddenly. I didn’t know why, but I was up. I never woke up late at night. I grabbed my phone and checked the time. 12:32 AM. I went to bed at 1 in the morning, the hell was going on?

I got up and grabbed the eye, holding it close to my chest, something in me told me I’d need it. I slowly walked around my house, looking for... something.

There was a keyhole on the bathroom door. My bathroom door never had a keyhole, but even if it did, this keyhole was... odd. It was round, like a....

I grabbed the eye from the box, I slowly placed it in the hole, it stared at me, and after an uncomfortably long moment I heard a click, and the door creaked open.

The door opened to a darkness, it was pure black, the only thing visible being a door in the distance. I yanked the eye from the keyhole and moved forward with curiosity.

I was never good at thinking ahead.

As I went through the door it slammed behind me. I turned and tried to open the door, it didn’t open, there was no eye keyhole (eyehole?) this time.

My only option was forward. I sprinted through the darkness, the ground seemed to splash beneath me. I stumbled and fell against the door. I stood straight and reached for the knob. There was no keyhole this time.

I opened the door and walked through, only to find a city. A deserted city with thick air and the appearance of being abandoned for centuries. The inhabitants shuffled around, heads pointed towards the ground. Some looked up just to hiss in pain, and pointed their heads back down.

I only had three questions.

1. What was happening?

2. What is that in the distance?

And the most worrying,

3. Is it getting closer?

I quickly ran behind a building, careful to avoid any of the husks aimlessly shuffling about. I stared at the thing that drew closer. As it drew closer, it was something I didn’t expect.

“Hey, Uno, are you sure this garden was a good idea? It so far from base! And why couldn’t we bring Nuke or Ancient?” I heard a voice yell. It was fairly feminine and had a raspiness to it.

“Well, our hope is the garden can grow us food so we don’t have to rely on Being! It’s far from base so it hopefully can’t so easily connect it to us! And we didn’t bring any of the others as to not make as much noise!” Another feminine voice responded, it had much more energy behind it. So much for them being quiet.

As they got closer I couldn’t help but wonder why they weren’t like all the other’s here that wandered around with their heads to the ground.

When they finally got close enough to see I took in their appearances. One wore glasses while the other wore goggles, both had messy black hair with a few silver streaks. The one in glasses wore it long in a ponytail, while the other had it in a simple bob. The one with a bob wore a hole infested army jacket that was clearly meant for someone much larger and more muscular. They also wore messy and ripped jeans, and sneakers. The one with a ponytail wore a poncho that fluttered in the wind. They wore tall combat boots, tights, and gloves as well.

They slowly came to a stop on their motorcycle, which was being driven by the one with a bob. They both quickly got off and scurried away. The both looked to be in their late teens, 17, maybe 18.

I slowly followed after them, being slow as for them to not see me. The sand and dirt on the ground squished under my feet. It was hot and dry, I could only wonder when the last time it rained was.

After following their trail, I found them. I saw the two walking through a rough dirt garden, checking on tiny little sprouts. They all were yellow and dry.

“God damnit!”

“We’ve been watering you every day! What more do you want?”

They both began yelling at the plants, one sounded legitimately mad, while the other just sounded tired.

“Well, I mean, we’ve been sending Nuke. Who knows how much she’s been actually been watering them.” The one in the ponytail murmured and scratched their head.

“Yeah, why did Ancient say we should’ve sent Nuke.”

“He’s stupid.”

“Indeedy.”

I slowly walked out from behind the building where I was hiding. I felt unbearably hot in my pajamas that I fell asleep in, I didn’t know how those two wore such heavy clothing without burning alive.

The two turned around and went wide eyed. They both had chocolate brown eyes.

“Who’re you?” The one with the bob yelled.

“Uh, I’m-“ I didn’t trust them just yet, something was so weird about all of this.

“Wait wait wait! Don’t- don’t tell us! We’ll call you- ah- Noon! Noon, Noon, Noon!” The one with the bob cut off the silence.

“I- alright?” The one with the ponytail slowly added.

The one with the bob was bouncing on their feet, “Get over here Noon!”

I slowly walked over to the two, they towered over me, at least 5’ 9” compared to my 5’ 6”. The one in the ponytail was trying to calm down the one with the bob, who was clearly exited towards my presence.

“I’m Uno! Well, I go by Uno among the Travellers! The Travellers is the name of our gang! Oh I’m so happy to meet someone new! Nuke, Ancient, and all the others are sooooooo boring!” The one with the bob yelled, a stupid grin on their face stretched from ear to ear.

The one with the ponytail placed a hand on Uno’s shoulder, hold them down, “Calm down, Uno. Anyways, Noon, I’m Dos, Uno’s twin sister.”

“And I’m Dos’ twin brother!” Uno chimed in.

“She could probably guess, Uno.”

I quietly added, “Uh- call me a they please?”

Uno seemed even more excited, “Yaaaaayyyy! And enby pal! My trans buddy!”

Uno quickly shedded his coat and held it out to me, “Here! You look hot! It has ice in it so it’s super cold and nice!”

As I took the coat Dos grabbed my arm, and I flinched.

“Ah, sorry, I’m just gonna bring you back to our motorcycle so we can bring you back to our base. Trust me, you don’t want to be stranded and alone in the Dunes for long…. By the way, question; do you know how to drive?”

I nodded.

“Hey, I can drive perfectly well!” Uno yelled.

“No you can’t. Anyway, c’mon, Noon.”

It wasn’t long before we were zooming down the road, dodging cars and debris as I got a better view of the city. Dos had her arms wrapped around my waist, with Uno behind her.

Dos also had her face buried into my back, but based on Uno’s screams I think he was just pushing her into that position. Also based on the fact I could hear Dos yelling and cussing at her brother as we rode.

As we drove Uno occasionally screamed incomprehensible and hypocritical instructions at me.

“Left! Nononononono- Right! Wait, nonononono- Just get out of the city!”

But Dos was actually yelling real instructions into my back, so I just listened to her.

It was weird looking at the environment. It was barren and sandy, the sun never seemed to move. Mindless people just shuffled around in the city and even in the barren and empty wastelands. Some even had their faces buried into the ground as their legs twitched.

It was honestly just creepy.

Dos instructed me to stop at a corner store that had the sign sloppily drawn over with a backpack. Dos told me to pull up in the driveway, and stop near the entrance. In the driveway there was also a pickup truck and a tiny Jeep. Each had a backpack and initials sloppily drawn on the side. Though, the motorcycle didn’t have any such marking.

Before we even fully stopped Uno jumped off the motorcycle and Dos did the same. I pulled the cycle to a stop and climbed off.

Uno turned to me with a grin and simply asked, “What do ya think?”

The building was rundown, and generally looked like it shouldn’t have been standing, yet with the power of sheer luck it stayed strong. I could see figures inside and shelves filled with anything ranging from knives to actual jars full of literal eyes.

I slowly nodded and gave Uno a thumbs up and he somehow seemed to grin even wider, “C’mon! The others are inside! We have Nuke here for once, too! Perfect timing!”

Both him and Dos scurried inside, leaving me to carefully follow. This all was so surreal. The landscape, the way I got here, everything. I honestly wondered if something I ate today was laced with something seriously impressive.

As I entered a broken bell weakly ringed, and I was immediately hit with the beautiful sound of distorted mid-2010’s pop. Carly Rae Jepson weakly blasted on the speakers singing how you should call her maybe.

Many people sat around the corner store that had been turned into an impromptu base. Some seemed to be as young as twelve, a few others in their mid twenties. They ranged immensely despite there only being 5 or so in the building. A small Latino person with a side shave and a puffy dress, a large and pale man who was stacking boxes on shelves, even a tanned person with long hair who simply wore a tank top and short shorts.

Uno and Dos were going around hyping people up about my arrival, telling them about someone new joining them, and telling them to “find the others”. Because of course they’re more people in these 17 year-olds’ gang.

Quickly people gathered around asking me about my “eyehole” or where I came from. Some were trying to get the others to shut up and I firmly kept my mouth shut myself. Some were giving their names and genders, others were just repeating hi and probably hoping for answers.

“Heyyyyyy, leave the newbie alone. Don’t want someone to join me, I imagine,” someone spoke in a calm voice that almost seemed like a purr. It was the person in the tank top. They held a quill in their hands as they wrote in a scorched and scraped up journal.

“No one will join you Nuke!” I heard the little Latino person yell as they blew a raspberry.

“Don’t be mean Void,” someone with faded lime green hair chimed in, “She is our guest after all.” They wore punkish clothes that covered up cutesy Hello Kitty clothes that barely fit them.

“Hi?” I quietly asked.

“She speaks! We didn’t need another Radi!” Void squealed. They patted their left upper arm, “She will be missed.”

I heard pats from the rest of the group. I had no clue what that meant. Another oddity in this place.

“Anyway! Travellers! We have someone who is a fellow captor of the Dunes! We have dubbed them Noon! As they came at noon!” Uno yelled over the group.

“Uh, Uno, it’s always noon here?” The green haired person added.

“Shush. Anyways! We welcome them with wide arms into the Travellers! Of course only if-!”

“If they pass the test,” the rest of the travelers continued.

“Just get them in already! We found a Capsule on the edge of Seabed Chasm, it’s some grocery store!” The man who was stacking boxes earlier yelled. He had grey hair and was coated in hair and faint oil stains.

“Okay, fine. Their test will be to venture into a Capsule and successfully loot it without getting caught by the timebug or it’s loop victims! Okay! I’m done! Happy?” Uno yelled, which got responded with everyone cheering things like “No horrible speech!” (I think that was Dos) or “YAY CAPSULE!”(I think that was the little kid, Void.)

After Uno and Dos settled everyone down, they announced that everyone has to introduce themselves to me. Of course, this was taken as ‘Everyone, yell your name at the new person all at once.’

“No! One at a time, people! Uh…. Nuke! You go first!” Uno yelled over the crowd.

Everyone went quiet as Nuke stepped forward. They were the one in the tank top. They had sandy blonde hair and tanned skin. They held out a hand.

“Hello, Noon, I am called Nuke by these idiots. Pleasure to meet you.” They purred. From their voice and way of speaking she was clearly a woman.

From the way I’ve been hearing about her, she’s merely an outsider or guest who simply tags along. I lightly shook her hand and she simply walked away with a sway to her hips. Great, that kind of girl.

The little Latino person came up to me, pushing everyone else aside. Bouncing on the balls of their feet they waved with a ton of enthusiasm. They wore an oversized jacket and puffy dress, they looked no older than 13. “Hi! I’m Void! By the way, I’m not a girl! Call me they! Or it! I dunno, but I’m so happy to have someone new! Everyone tells me I’m annoying, so maybe you won’t think that, but in the end I guess that’s up to you. Anyway-!”

The person with the green hair rested a hand on their shoulder and cut them off, “They probably could guess, Void. Oh, and I’m Nucleic. Xe/Xem,” Xe held out a hand, which I took and shook. Xe definitely looked the most laid back of everyone, which was nice with how crazy everyone else seemed. Xe had the greenest hair I had ever seen on anyone. It had clearly faded from xem being here a while, but it still was bright. I couldn’t help but fight back a giggle at xyr bright shirt that read Friends Forever! in glittery yet faded bubble text.

Suddenly, someone else butted in, standing over everyone else, “Well! I’m Sandstorm. Not a pleasure to meet you, I honestly couldn’t care less.” It was the buff man who said it, he gave me a glare as he did so. I couldn’t help but notice the gaping hole on the back of his left hand, similar to my own where I removed the eye.

The eye! I quickly grabbed and lightly shook my box, hearing quiet squishy bouncing from inside. Good, something tells me I’m gonna need it,

An older person approached and tapped my shoulder. I turned around to get a better look at them. They were about 30, maybe even 40. They slowly began speaking. “I’m Ancient. Please excuse my younger companions. Void has hyperactivity issues, Sandstorm doesn’t understand being nice… and Nucleic does whatever xe does. No one knows what xe’s thinking, not even xem, I’m willing to bet,” Ancient laughed and continued, “Anyway, call me a he. Pleasure to meet you, Noon.”

Others came up to me and introduced themselves as well. There was Sclera who had platinum blond hair and an overkill attitude, beside her was Ruin who seemed to be very fatherly and kind. There was Drei who seemed incredibly tired, yet I could still tell she was trying her best. Finally there were Time and Bug, two lovers who basically hung off of each other, with Time refusing to let go of Bug’s arm, and Bug refusing to detach himself from his datemate’s side.

After everything was said and done with Uno and Dos basically dragged me to the back of the store and into a broom closet turned makeshift bedroom. It had two piles of blankets and pillows on top of a mattress that covered the whole floor. In one corner hung a sheet that covered the corner, and in the other was a large trunk that was filled to the brim with clothes and other necessities. Uno immediately ran to the chest and began sorting through everything making spare piles of pants, shirts, and boots, meanwhile Dos sat down and gestured for me to join her.

“So, welcome to the base of the Travellers. It’s kinda messy and thrown together, but it’s the best we could manage,” She laughed a little and pointed to Uno, “My brother over there insisted we settle in a corner store or something. So blame him for the mess.”

I decided now was the best time to ask questions, so I thought for a moment before stating one thing that should get me all the answers I need.

“Okay, what is going on here?”

“Oh, now you’re talking, but, yeah, we haven’t explained anything yet, have we? Well, it’s a long story….” Dos trailed off, seemingly lost in thought.

“Well, I’d rather get a lengthy explanation than no explanation at all,” I retorted.

“Well, in summary, you’re in a place me and Uno call the Dunes. It’s an alternate dimension from ours that can be accessed with special eyes. This place was hit with a bomb a long time ago and was devastated and many things got taken over by horribly mutated and even supernatural creatures. Anyone who enters here without their eye is trapped until they find theirs or a replacement,” Dos sighed, “That’s a good chunk of it.”

“Okay… that is still incredibly confusing?” I quietly added.

“Alternate dimension, disaster, giant time spiders, poisonous air, eyes. Does that make more sense?”

“Could you possibly reiterate on the third and fourth one?” I squeaked out.

“Okay, there are giant time bugs that make time loops, we call these timeloops Capsules, we usually raid them since they have food. And in some places there is poisonous air, we have collected masks for that. Don’t worry, it’s safe here,” she simply said. I was still confused and a little freaked out but I decided to just act like I knew what she meant.

As I nodded Uno sat down beside us with a large pile of clothes, “Well Noon! Time to dress you for the Dunes, we can’t have you in pajamas here!” He began holding up clothes asking for a yay or nay. We ended up going through the whole pile of clothes over the course of what felt like at least an hour. Dos and I made small talk while her brother dug through the clothes.

She ended up filling me in on more about this alternate reality. The longer she droned on the more I found myself actually believing this all could be real, no matter how surreal it sounded. She talked about the sun, how time never changed, how eyes worked, but what interested me most was one thing: Being.

“Oh? Being. It’s a creature that inhabits this place. It sells food and other things. It even steals eyes and sells them back. But for eyes it usually charges… human flesh,” She trailed off before continuing with a sorrowful look, “That’s how Bug lost his leg, he was trying to get an eye for Time.”

“Did it not work?” I simply asked. Time was still obviously here, so I was confused on why they hadn’t left.

“No it did, just many of us have a deal that if one of us leaves those closest to us are going to come with us. Since Bug didn’t have an eye, Time refused to leave,” She simply stated, “Uno and I have a similar deal.”

“Indeed we do!” Uno chimed in, “Even so, neither of us have an eye, so we couldn’t leave even if we wanted to! Right, Dos?”

Dos responded with a simple nod, before speaking, “No sibling left behind is what we said, so we’re not gonna leave each other behind, no matter how many fights and squabbles we get into.”

It was kind of sweet, they definitely were very strong to get along after being here for who knows how long.

Once we got through all the clothes we settled on a dirt stained button-up with ripped sleeves, some ripped and faded jeans, and a pair of tall and worn combat boots. It was simple, but practical for the rough environment.

As I grabbed the clothes, got up from my sitting position to go find a bathroom and change, Dos came up to me and handed me a belt covered in loops and pockets.

“It’s always good to have extra space to put and hide things, trust me.”

The bathroom was clearly not in a safe condition. Though, it was gender neutral, which I appreciated. The tiles were worn and some even cracked and filled with dirt. The mirrors were stained and fogged up by the humid weather, the air conditioning was bad in this building, but in the bathroom it was even worse.

I quickly got changed and rushed out of the dusty room, slightly relieved to not have to breathe in any more of whatever had collected in that bathroom. I liked the look of the outfit, simple and surprisingly cool, which I attributed to the ice which was inside bags in my jacket.

As soon as I peeked back into Uno and Dos’ room they both looked happy with my look. Uno basically squealed with joy and Dos gave a smile and thumbs up of approval.

They took me out to see everyone else and most of them seeming happy with their new member (Because at that point I could be counted as a member, right?). The only exceptions being Nuke, Sandstorm, and Drei, who looked bored, slightly angry, and tired respectively. From what I knew of them, I wasn’t surprised in the slightest.

The next while was honestly a blur, getting my stuff together for the night (Well, it’s never really night, but everyone was getting tired), and picking me out a room. Though, of course, there wasn’t enough room for everyone, so I got stuck in the same room as Void and Nucleic. It was better than it could be, but I felt like Void wasn’t going to let me sleep for a good while.

Void was really helpful in setting up my section of the area. We were stuck in a freezer that was clearly broken a long time ago. Nucleic even encouraged me to check that the door wasn’t locked and feel how warm the walls were to see it was safe. Apparently xe had the same worries when xe got here, I was a little surprised based on xyr calm attitude.

Before I knew it everything was ready, a pile of blankets and a couple ripped pillows that made for a semi comfortable place to rest. It was better than nothing, I guess.

It wasn’t long before the blasting pop music on the store’s speakers abruptly turned off, and Uno came over the mic, mumbling in a lazy voice, “Sleep.”

I looked to Nucleic and Void and they both gave similar looks that read ‘Yeah, he does that’. So I decided to take the hint and try to sleep.

It was surprisingly a good sleep despite the sun shining bright outside and the hard floor beneath me. But, eventually I was rudely awakened by Void who was yelling in my face.

“Hey! Let’s go fight some man eating spiders!”

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sagastar-blog · 7 years ago

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MemoToTheMetaverse 2.4 “Gaia Says to Jeff, Let’s Take the Black Keys Car Service!”

Gaia, our hero, the story’s 16-year-old tomboyish female protagonist, walks around in a magnificent green, blue, and white bathrobe. Her long darkreddishbrown hair is dripping wet. Gaia is the planet Earth in human form, and has always been entirely awake, or aware of this fact. She’s recently emerged from the family “scuttlebutt,” a solar-powered steam room of sorts off the side of the family’s entirely ordinary first-floor Highland Park, NJ, apartment. She speaks into a hairbrush:

Gaia: So glad to be here with Dan and Patrick of the Black Keys. Guys! Good morning! What brought you to The Orchard on this leg of the current intergalactic tour?

[Dan Auerbach--the lily-white reformed stoner father / lead singer of the indie blues rock duo from Akron known throughout the universe and beyond as The Black Keys--is a large Bert from Sesame Street doll.]

Dan: Ummmmm. Gee. Let’s see. Well, I guess we figured we were in the neighborhood, you know, New York is kind of a thing...Hey, um, Do you guys have any coffee here? I could also really use a bagel. Like, with cream cheese, yeah? Thanks. Okay, yeah.

Patrick, a narwhal hand puppet and the drummer in the band, wears hipster glasses and grunts somewhat rhythmically: Me too. Please. Thanks. Whatever.

Gaia (turns towards the kitchen and yells): Daddy! Do we have any bagels left?

[Jeff is Gaia’s 39-year-old father, who has sole custody but, as any parent must no, very little immediate control over his daughter. He’s actually a young Bengal tiger in disguise as a human and also the Master Creator/Destroyer of All.

Jeff: Yeah, hold on. Do they want everything like usual?

Patrick the narwhal begins gnawing on the top of Bert’s head while gently spanking it from below with its tail, and grunts: “Sure thing, boss.”

Dan is distracted by Gaia’s proverbial “décolletage.” It must be said that Gaia is a beautiful, buxom, and rather rambunctious young woman, and has been for a few years now something of a man-eater. More problematically, she’s been neglected by her boyfriend/cousin-in-law, Amateratsu, the local mediocre neighborhood son, thanks to the way she’s been done dirty and wrong by life--HER LIFE, yes, but still--in recent times.

Dan: Thanks so much Jeff, that’s great. Gaia’s taking good care of us in here.

Jeff: She’s a fantastic hostess. You should check out her bedroom! It’s kind of a mess...Gaia, do you think you could maybe try sweeping some day?

Gaia (returning to her interview): Dan, Patrick, do you ever wish a great wind would come along and wash away all the beer cans and bottles? I mean, like, take Akron....maybe all the rubber tires and factories and stuff should be...

Dan: Burned?

Patrick the narwhal has heard this story so many times already. He continues drumming on his lap, staring rather obtusely at Gaia’s round ass as she busily picks up last night’s detritus. He doesn’t mind getting interviewed today because he owes his ex-wife so much in arrears for child support that he’s willing to put up with Bert’s narcissism for yet another day.

Gaia: I was thinking, wouldn’t it be nice if Brian Wilson and the rest of the Beach Boys could just bury the hatchet and do, like, a benefit for the environment or something? Like, what is it going to take for some big shot celebrity musicians to actually get involved in American public life?

Dan: What we need, clearly, is the American version of Bono. Otherwise, Africa will become China and then we’re all fucked.

Gaia: Precisely. (prepares her hookah for the day’s first toke....Jeff doesn’t mind that Gaia is going through a phase in which she smokes as much cannabis as she wants when she’s at his house. She’s not always home from school, so he figures it’s a balanced approach to Creation/Destruction.)

Patrick: Do you think we could hit that?

Gaia (eyes smoldering): Butt of course, Monsieur Patrick. Et toi, Dan? Qu’en volez vous?

Dan: Did you just ask me where I’m flying next?

Gaia: EH bien. Si vous voulez faire le countertransference avec moi, ca va couterez...(she lights up)

Jeff (buttering and cream-cheesing the bagels): Gaia, I’m serious! Your room!

Gaia (tucking her Bert and narwhal weiweis into her bed): I suggest we take the Black Keys Car Service to the eco preserve.

Jeff: Gaia, can you please explain to our guests what that will entail?

[Pollux and Castor emerge from the basement, all sparkly. They’re stars from an intergalactic talent competition known as Copernamici. As the head stars in the constellation Gemini, they are Amateratsu’s siblings, relatives of Jeff and Lucius. Pollux is slightly brighter and cheerier in general, whereas Castor has a beautiful, rich baritone voice.]

Castor: I was hoping we’d get to go to the preserve. There’s so little nature here in The Orchard, which is kind of ironic, don’t you think?

Pollux: Yeah, I was just thinking that it’s weird that there are signs all around this town, what is it called here Highland Park, that say things like “Tree City U.S.A.” and “No Hate Here.” They can’t even see us when they look up at night! Where exactly is the eco preserve, Gaia?

Gaia: Sore subject. Which is why I suggest taking the Black Keys Car Service! Daddy, you explain in a longwinded monologue which is not exactly a siloloquy but who cares because Shakespeare was SUCH a bitch...

Jeff (sets down the coffee at the C2 Center for Educational Brainwashing, where he is paid 27 dollars an hour to help privileged children improve their SAT scores): THE BLACK KEYS CAR SERVICE is one of the greatest ideas ever. It is the solution to the problem we face today aboard Spaceship Earth. (speaking into the ship’s PA system microphone) Humans! You have, since the dawn of the industrial revolution, been shitting in your own scuttlebutt! You have been, like cyborgswine, befouling your own trough. Your pollution--Ohio, we’re looking right at you...OH GEEZ, Cuyahoga was a great R.E.M. song about you burning rivers...where are you Michael Stipe when the galaxy needs you?--will no longer be tolerated. I have come here, people of Earth, to save Gaia. Only, the way it works is that Gaia doesn’t need salvation. Gaia, your planet Earth, will outlive all of you. Life will persist on this planet whether you want it to or not...at least for a little longer. The point here is that I am here to protect Gaia from all of you who have been either neglecting and violating her. (Hugs his daughter tightly.) The latter is worse than the former, but there are no innocent people in this world of ours, right Gaia?

Gaia (not a victim..a survivor): Correct.

Jeff (continues): Now. You, humans, will end this farce of an existence. You have serious environmental problems which you are not capable of fixing by yourselves. The first step in solving a problem is admitting that you have a problem. The Black Keys Car Service is the best way for you to admit you have a problem.

Jeff and Gaia step out to their electric car.

We’re not suggesting that you need to trash your entire civilization. No. That’d be impractical. You need to recycle it. You need to throw away a lot of stuff that’s bad.

Amateratsu (offstage): I SUGGEST FEEDING ME!

Jeff: Let’s shoot a bunch of shit into the sun, like old junk that’s bad for Gaia. Let’s figure out a way to use nuclear and other technologies sustainably and responsibly. There are no such thing as “bad nukes,” just as there are no such things as “bad phones.” You have technology and you need to learn how to use it wisely. I say I’m wisdom unemployed. I don’t need to spend my time pretending to teach here at the C2 Center for Educational Polyamorous Cockblocking and Blueballing. It’s not very fun, rewarding, or productive for me. (Imagine that, John Lenin!)

It’s not easy for you to accept that you’re a computer virus and that your existence is a threat to lots (not ALL) other life here on Earth. I get that! We have a suggestion...

Gaia (grabs the mic and screams as loudly as possible): Just send an ordinary unmarked car to Jeff’s house at 35 S. Fifth Avenue in Highland Park, NJ, 08904, U.S.A, Earth, Dimension 1(?)=1 / infinity. (Everyone knows my real address is one over infinity!) But make sure it’s like really smooth and cool...you know, like it should be the kind of car service that Dan and Patrick would use and then try to cash in on by selling out...like El Camino.

But it can’t be an El Camino. It should be like a 2002 Ford or something. Not eco-friendly! It needs to be authentic and real, like Akron but WORSE. If I’m being violated, at least let Jeff on the Lester GangBangBus. You know what I mean? SO the one thing about The Black Keys Car Service is that it’s got to be both legitimate and correct. There will be no “Black Keys” cds or music or anything directly related to the Black Keys in the car, obviously. The music should be a delightful mixture of T. Bone Burnett classics, which is to say stuff that would sell at Starbucks and not offend Jeff. This is how Jeff learns! By doing human anthropology. We don’t hate your culture. We just have taste and need a little bit of respect, so like, no music referencing “niggers,” “bitches,” and other unsavory aspects of your filthy human world. I’m sorry, but there’s a difference between you listening to what you like in public and you exposing me and my Daddy and my friends to your pollution. We need to be protected, like in an eco preserve!

Jeff: What Gaia is trying to say is that I don’t ask for much. You’ve been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. That’s fine by me. I’m used to it. But now that you’ve been caught, you have to admit it. You have to admit what you’ve done and you have to do it soon by sending The Black Keys Car Service, which is recognizing me as someone valuable and worthy of dignity and respect, as well as adoration, of course.

Send me a private car with a driver--let him be exactly like the dude who plays bass and also keyboards for the Shins, if not that guy himself!--who recognizes me as JustJeff and takes me where I want to go. For free (i.e. without charging me money or making me feel awkward). You know who I am, so stop pretending! Allow the driver to speak to me like a normal person. It will be great! And please let there be bagels with cream cheese and coffee in the car. Other than that, there’s nothing else for me to request. If you do that, i’ll know that we’re going somewhere together.

If I’m going to save you, Gaia, it’s going to be on my terms, not theirs. We have a lot of work to do and must take practical steps. The Black Keys Car Service is the best way to get moving in the right direction.

Gaia (fidgeting with her phone): OMJ, I hate this phone! (throws it out the window and turns up the music, which I believe is some Dusty Springfield song, but we can’t be sure...)

#black keys #justjeff #memotothemetaverse #michael stipe #cult gaia #gaiaonline #gaia #astronomy #astrology #amateratsu #sci-fi & fantasy #fan fiction #comicon #comic books #theology #rolling stone magazine

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rainsonata · 8 years ago

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Stationary

Fandom/Shipping: Elsword; MMLP Rating: K+ Word Count: 1,686

Summary: Lunatic Psyker has to coax Mastermind out of his room to make the opportunity to give him a gift. Writing request for @nagiiisasan.

If someone was to catch Psyker impatiently tapping his foot standing in the hallway of the house he shared with his counterparts, he would have told them that it was none of their damn business. Really, it wasn’t.

In his hand was a paper bag, the kind used for packing lunch. He didn’t want Mastermind to see the transparent plastic bag he purchased with it from one of the small shops downtown. That would have given away the surprise too quickly! There wasn’t much of it inside, so it was lightweight when he held it up to eye level. He made sure to throw in tissue paper to further obscure the content inside.

Leaning his head against the door to Mastermind’s lab, Psyker would hear the quiet sound of classical music playing in the background. The scientist probably wouldn’t notice if he was to barge into his room since he wasn’t complaining about him pacing back and forth in the hallway for the past few minutes or so. Only the sound of quiet typing on the keyboard indicated that Mastermind was still awake and not passed out at his desk.

“Add?” Psyker knocked the door with the back of his knuckles. He checked his dynamo for the time to see that it was getting late. Could Mastermind hear him? Well, that was also why he was here. The brawler bared his fist on the door louder this time and shouted, “Hey, dinner’s ready. If you don’t come out, I’m going to eat all your chocolate.”

The chair squeaked from the other side with a long-haired man slamming the door open with a scowling expression.

“Touch my chocolate and I’ll set Apocalypse on your room.”

“You’re awake!” Psyker laughed at the threat and bared his canines, “Disproportionate retribution, much?”

Mastermind dragged his hands across his face and groaned, shaking his head at Psyker’s laughter. He peered between his hands and ran his hand through the end of his ponytail with a yawn. Seeing the paper bag in Psyker’s hands, his eyes narrowed.

“Is that my chocolate?” Mastermind asked – more like demanded to know.

“That was just a way to make you leave your damn room,” Psyker rolled his eyes. “Come on, no one locks up their snacks more than you do.”

“You always find a way to break into them anyway.”

“That was once.”

Of all things, Mastermind was most concerned about chocolate? How petty. He had no doubts Mastermind would go to extensive lengths to protect his chocolate, but that didn’t stop him from laughing again until he saw felt the presence of something coming up to mewl from behind him. The sound that came out of the brawler’s mouth was a high pitch squeak, which sent Mastermind cackling at the knee jerk reaction.

Psyker turned to see Apocalypse meow again, nudging its head against his shoulder for attention. A smile formed across his features and scratched behind the cat cube’s ears, pulling away when it vibrated with a soft purr. Mastermind could threaten sending his pet all he wanted, but he had the perfect counter to that. Apocalypse went to him for toys and scratches behind the ears.

“It’ll be hard to nuke my room if you forgot to recharge it,” Psyker said with a smirk when he noticed that the light from the cat cube was dimmer than usual.

“Apocalypse isn’t the only thing I can use to ‘nuke’ your room as you say it,” Mastermind sneered, but there was guilt in his eyes when he glanced at the cat cube, who chirped in happiness at the sound of his voice.

“So what’s in the bag?” Mastermind asked when Psyker was still staring at Apocalypse, “I heard you cackling like a madman.”

Oh, right. He held up the paper bag and handed it to the scientist with a grin, “You always complained about running out of supplies. You’re welcome.”

Psyker thought he heard the Mastermind murmur something about being obnoxious. He couldn’t help but snort when his counterpart looked at him with suspicion. He wished the other would open the package already so he could see the reaction.

Mastermind blinked when he saw the layers of tissue paper inside the bag, his face was conflicted between surprise and annoyance for the effort placed into hiding the contents. He took out the tissue paper with care, as if afraid to crumble it and tossed it on his desk on top of his keyboard. His eyes flurried in confusion when Mastermind reached into the bottom of the bag to pull out a transparent plastic case with white polka dots. Inside the case were several different colored pens and pencils with flowers stenciled across and –

“Why cats?” Mastermind inspected a pen in his hand to see a cat sitting on the cap with a peaceful expression carved into its round face.

The rest of the stationary were similar with each cat painted with an assorted color scheme and different facial expressions, all of them happy and content. Balancing one pen with one hand, he lifted it to eye level and stared at the white cat curled up on the tip. Psyker almost jumped when Mastermind pressed on the cat clicker to test the pen. Apocalypse beamed when Mastermind used its head as a table to write a few words on a notepad to test out the ink.

“Hm?” Expecting Mastermind to throw it back to his face and reject it, Psyker leaned over when he didn’t get an immediate response from the scientist with a sly grin, “I think it suits you.”

“Cute,” Mastermind twirled the pen in his hand with a twinkle in his eyes. “Didn’t know you were into this kind of stuff.”

Wait, what? Psyker shook his head at the accusation with panic in his eyes. No, not like that! His cheeks heated up as his bit the corner of his lips and glared at Mastermind, fighting a failing battle when he felt the blood travel up his face. He could have sworn that bastard was smirking at him as he struggled to find something clever to say back.

Some nerve this guy has, Psyker huffed when he caught Mastermind gazing at the cat clicker with a fond look. Not even a thank you from him? Well, okay, it was a joke gift, really! He wanted to see the other throw a hissy fit and get annoyed over him buying something strange. Instead, the scientist pressed a finger on his lips, lips curled up with his eyes looking at Psyker’s with amusement. What was the other thinking?

“It’s for you, not me.” Psyker said, but his words sounded hollow with his face turning red.

“Spending money for me?” Mastermind teased, “I didn’t think you were listening to me back then. How nice of you.”

“Are you keeping them or not?” He snatched the pen away from Mastermind to get the other’s attention, “because if not, I can take it back.”

“Oh no, I’m keeping them.” Mastermind scoffed and took the pen back, pointing the cat to Psyker’s chest, “I’m not rejecting something that’s free.”

“You’re such a brat…” Psyker twitched. Did he really have to word it like that? “It’s called a gift, asshole.”

“And I’ll be sure to think of you every time I use it,” the scientist chuckled

How could he be ungrateful one minute and then say weird stuff with a smile the next? Psyker sighed at the sudden change in tone and wondered how Mastermind always managed to tease him like that. He checked the other’s face for a hint, but all he received was a toothy grin. Yeah, this guy was definitely fucking around with him. Ass.

“Don’t forget to charge your stupid cube,” Psyker scowled when he noticed Apocalypse turning dull again.

“Don’t be like that.” Mastermind bit his lip and frowned, worried? He led the cat cube over to the charging station connected to his desk before letting it go into sleep mode for a full recharge. Pulling his side bangs back, Mastermind placed the pen behind his ear, the cat sticking out making him look ridiculous, or at least Psyker thought it looked absurd. The scientist pulled Psyker in close enough that it made him nervous when he looked at the brawler. Huh?

Slender arms wrapped around his waist, closing the space between them as Mastermind slowly moved his hands and pressed them on his cheeks to feel the warmth. Psyker’s breath grew short when he caught himself staring back into the other’s eyes, bright magenta with white outlines around his pupils. Mastermind brought his face in close with a quiet sigh, as if he was struggling as Psyker was in holding steady breathes.

“You’re gonna drop it,” Psyker eyed the pen sitting behind Mastermind’s ear.

“Just for a few seconds,” Mastermind laughed quietly, placing his head on his shoulder. “Can’t take a gift without a thank you, right?” He moved his fingers across Psyker’s chest and leaned over to press his lips against the other’s cheek.

“Dinner,” was Psyker’s intelligent response when the scientist pulled away. “It’s getting cold.” He turned his face away, but he couldn’t stop himself from looking back to see Mastermind smiling. Shit, he was turning red again. Psyker was almost disappointed when Mastermind pulled away and closed his eyes.

“Give me a minute to wrap up something,” Mastermind said, but his face was as pink as Psyker’s.

“Sure, sure.” Psyker scratched the back of his head with averted eyes.

When he went back to the kitchen to check on their food, it was cold. He sighed at the inconvenience, but sat on a stool while reheating their meal. Perhaps it was his imagination, but the rare smile Mastermind gave to him when they ate together made him lightheaded, but it was so brief, he could have been wrong. His heart fluttered in what he thought was pride, maybe even happiness when he caught the scientist putting a sticky note on the fridge with the cat pen in hand. At least his gift was getting put to good use.

#elsword #eltag #add (elsword)#mmlp #lunatic psyker #mastermind #elsword fanfiction #my writing #yay my writing muse is still alive!#I love writing those two their dialogue always makes me happy #mywriting #Addcest

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mafianatic · 8 years ago

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VINELAND ISLAND ( VINESAUCE’S TOMODACHI LIFE ) SENTENCE PACK!

Feel free to change pronouns!

“You bet.” “And here I am, just in the midst of all this crap.” “Is it first kiss? No? Shit.” “I’m Toothpaste.” “This fuckin thing.” “I think I found a match. I think it’s gonna be [insert name], they’re gonna have a baby.” “Which one?” “Well, you are... Forty.” “Perfect.” “I just gave her a bunch of shitty food.” “He looks Spanish.” “Good.” “He’s a perfect member of our town.” “So she friendzoned me.” “I hope it’s a long, fruitful friendship.” “Wow, okay.” “Well, you two are sweethearts, no?” “It’s a bad omen.” “This is a Klingon?” “Awww, that is a horrible voice.” “Why? Who are you in love with?” “I’m not cryin’... There’s just some water on my face...” “Don’t ever talk to me again, [insert name], we’re done.” “A mobile rom corruptor for iOs.” “This jerkoff just playing his stupid guitar in his stupid music room.” “Both at the same time.” “Refuse, [Insert Name], refuse.” “Rejected! TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT?!” “What the fuck did you buy him?” “Maximum sadness achieved.” “I don’t know about [insert name] being an optimist.” “What’s goin’ on with you?” “Yes, you SHOULD.” “Oh my God. Oh my sweet, everloving Christ. What have I done?” “What was taking this picture? A fucking security drone?” “With that voice, you could be a singer.” “Stahp. STAHP.” “YOU should propose to HIM.” “Please don’t hit it off, please don’t hit it off.” “Yes! I mean... Awwww...” “Is this a male or a female?” “You’ve gotta tell ‘im.” “Look, they’re so perfect together.” “You son of a bitch.” “Woah, I just spent $500.00 on a dress.” “You like your new home, asshole?” ”You will be punished.” “His flesh will only live if he is encased in pure ice.” “This is a new level of shitty voice.” “Here’s a $500.00 dress.” “Do you see how I treat you?” “I guess he’s green.” “You---” “He saved up to buy candy corn.” “Are you kidding me, [insert name], is that the best you could do?” “It’s time to get a divorce.” “I think I might evict [insert name] at some point.” “Are we seeing a divorce?” “Oh my God.” “You should.” “[Insert name] is gonna have some really weird like, bastard child.” “This marriage will last forever, don’t worry.” “If this funny face isn’t outstanding, then you’re getting removed from this town.” “OH, SHIT!” “Sick burn! Oh my God, we got burned so hard.” “See, I don’t care.” “We have to exterminate the memes.” “To the buvvins they go.” “It’s gonna end with me nuking their home somehow.” “Oh, [insert name], you’re gonna cast a spell on him.” “I saw it, it too. I see what’s happening.” “That’s what he does, he go-gets.” “Goin’ straight to hell, if there is one.” “Of course [insert name] is there.” “This could’ve been my life.” “You fucking wot?” “What do you need it for?” “Woah.” “What the FUCK just happened?” “It saves me the trouble!” “This is Dimension One.” “This is the face of someone who can split dimensions asunder.” “I hope [insert name] is his best man.” “He is not pleased.” “This is heavy shit, man.” “Shit, [insert name] can’t help.” “EVERYONE’S DEAD.” “No, I didn’t say anything.” “The love is too strong, the BOND is too strong.” “He contemplates how he can leave his house and cause a ruckus, and infiltrate MY life.” “So, now we have three JAHN in the town.” “Why is everyone thinking about fucking?!” “Why is [insert name] in town?” “[Insert name] is gonna have to raise this baby alone.” “Redheads or a fucking roundy, baldy-heady TWAT?!” “[Insert name] got the pussy game!” “The Sloppy Seconds Brothers.” “And now, I kinda hate him...” “Dong has stolen the happy times.” “Kinda feel bad for [insert name] now.” “It’s like the end of Gladiator.” “Our tests have proven that was a lie.” “It’s STILL happening!” “She let [insert name] sweep her away from the one she loved the most.” “Oh my GOD, this is GUT WRENCHING.” “Jesus FUCKING Christ.” “No, I don’t actually.” “He was only nineteen years old, and he already had a child.” “BOTH just out relationships.” “He’s an artiste.” “ANOTHER BABY?!” “You’re gonna be a doctor, no matter what.” “Just looking at graphs, TPS reports...” “WOW.” “The world must know of this glorious man.” “She loves the Jahn’s so much, that now she’s trying to be one of them.” “She became a Jahn fanboy.” “Yeah, rub some fuckin’ peas up in there.” “She is STUNNING.” “And thus, a new journey begins for [insert name].” “I may have sabotaged this.” “You’re making a mistake.” “You’ve been this... Massive, MASSIVE ASSHOLE lately.” “Yeah, what does that even mean?” “Yeah, I’ll fucking say.” “Are you asking me if you’re mad, or?” “I don’t know which Jahn is which.” “The pact is sealed.” “Get that groose loose, fix this shit.” “[Insert name], do you fuckin’ ever do ANYTHING right?!” “This is PROOF that relationships can work.” “Got it.” “Love has come to town.” “The more telling thing is who was NOT invited to this wedding.” “I can fix this.” “Fully erased.” “But, um, he said that if I was...” “I could’ve sworn there was another islander in this apartment.” “I don’t know why you’d wanna be friends with [insert name].” “Talk about alien things.” “You know, how to cut someone open without using a knife, for example.” “She’s twenty, kids.” “We gotta send more memes to the Meme Lord.” “I must feed my Jahns.” “How --- how may I serve?” “I distinctly remember another person living here.” “Nothing sinister going on. Right, [insert name]?” “Ah, yes. The plans.” “So that you can blend in.” “A mild-mannered Lumberjack.” “Dana Scully?” “When did Mulder and Scully get here?” “I feel like a weight has been lifted off my mind.” “It turns out the Jahns were looking for some chicken cutlets.” “There is apparently one hold-out.” “He apparently wants to be human.” “So, I’m gonna let ‘im stay.” “Don’t worry about that, it’s stupid.” “From what I understand, a number of us are dead.” “He’s a little fucked in the head right now, but he’s gonna be okay.” “You’re not fuckin’ fooling me.” “Okay, so you think you’re hiding it from us?” “Maybe [insert name] wants to go home.” “Are they referring to his incident in the theater?” “Guys, is that a bird of prey?” “SCREW YOU, [INSERT NAME], I GOT [INSERT ANOTHER NAME]!!”

#♦♟ ⊰ mafia armin ⊱ ♟♦ ( meme. )#♦♟ ⊰ captain douchecanoe ⊱ ♟♦ ( out of character. )

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lil-oowada · 6 years ago

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+ ending

((Ok soooooo theres gonna be a couple cameos I apologize but this wouldn’t leave my head))

“KICHI!”

Bruno’s eyes popped open. Instead of being greeted by the absolute void of nothingness, or the fires of the actual place he expected to be, he was greeted by a black haired child sitting on his chest, black marker in hand. The kid wore a green dress… like a school uniform?

“Awww~ Mooooooom~” The kid drawled out in disappointment, inching the marker back closer to Bruno’s face. “Can I at least give him a monocle? This guy said it was fine! Right right right???”

He couldn’t speak. Honestly he hadn’t really spoken to nearly anyone in a year so he couldn’t trust that his voice wouldn’t be a croaky mess.

…Maybe he was in Hell. A hell where he’s forever forced to silently allow a child to draw on him. Meh, he’d take this over whatever the fuck the other Super High School Level Despairs could come up with. Suddenly he was very thankful he dipped out of the Enoshima’s little group when he did.

“No, Kichi!” The stern voice yelled once again. Suddenly the weight on his chest was lifted and the kid was pulled away by the scruff of their collar. “I told ya to leave him the fuck alone, young man! He’s sick ‘n’ I don’t want ya gettin’ it too!”

Bruno gulped as he watched the new figure at the end of his bed place the boy in a dress down and hand him a bag. “'N’ quit callin’ me Mom, ya lil’ shit! I got the clothes ya asked for, so take yer shit ‘n’ go change. ”

“NYEHEHE! Why? You’re not my mooooom remember??” He giggled and ran off giddily into the other room anyway.

Bruno was really too stunned to react to anything. White jacket. Pink goggles. Black hair. Violet eye glaring down at him, the other hidden behind a black eye patch…

Crissy Oowada, Bruno’s high school sweet heart, and someone he had been told was torn apart by turrets on the steps of Hope’s Peak Academy, was standing at the edge of his bed.

“Bruno-san,” she stated. Her visible eye stared down at him. “Ya know who I am, yea?”

He flinched and looked down. Crissy didn’t address anyone formally, ever. He didn’t like that, but nonetheless he nodded his head. He was ashamed… He threw a party when he got the news she was dead. ‘Enoshima freed me so I didn’t have to do it myself~’ he once called out triumpantly. God, he hated what he became.

“Ya ain’t gotta talk. I’m fine filln’ ya in.” He was glad she had accepted the nod as an answer and watched as she circled around the bed to the chair Kichi must have set up there.

“You were being wreckless,” she stated, sitting down in the chair. “Left a fuckin’ trail a mile long, 'n’ if I didn’t have my contact in the Future Foundation, they woulda found ya 'n’ shot yer ass, no questions asked.”

He bit his tongue to interject. Bruno wasn’t stupid, he knew what he was doing. Not that he wanted to let her in on what he had been planning.

“Ya… ya done a lotta shit, Bruno-san,” she continued, running her hands through her long black hair. “Ya hurt a lotta people. Like so much that I can’t deny, I almost slit yer throat when I found ya.”

There was that brutal honesty he found so endearing. His mouth quirked up a little before it fell back down.

“W…why didn’t you?” Just as he feared, the words came out more as a croak then actual words. Thankfully she seemed to understand.

“'Cuz I care 'bout ya,” Crissy said, grabbing his hand. “A-at least I did… once. There’s no way I’m lettin’ ya get hurt that easily.”

He visibly shivered at her touch and squeezed back. It was warm. But this was wrong. He didn’t deserve this. If she grabbed him before the Future Foundation could, she’d be in trouble. From documentation he had dug up on the punishment of the man that dared to defy the Future Foundation and save Remnants of Despair… She would be as good as dead.

"Kitten,“ he whispered softly. He knew she hated that old nickname, but couldn’t resist. “I don’t deserve this… I can’t-”

“Yer right,” she stated simply, a bit cold. She slid her hand away and stood up. “Ya don’t deserve my hospitality 'r whatever. Yer not like the others.Ya chose this. Ya chose to leave me 'n’ all yer friends behind to hurt people, fucking kill people! 'Cuz yer fuckin bored!” She stopped her ranting to pinch the bridge of her nose, as if trying to keep herself from yelling anymore.

He didn’t know why. He deserved every syllable and more.

“Ya can never undo the hurt ya caused us,” she muttered, reaching into a satchel the strap strung around the nearby hat rack. “But ya can help make things right.”

Bruno raised his eyebrows as Crissy dumped a laptop in front of him. “Wha-?”

“KICHI! Bring yer classmate!”

He just sat there confused for a moment. Kichi then returned, proudly dressed in a strange strsight jacket like white shirt and pants, but Bruno nearly stopped breathing as he saw him hand in hand with the 'classmate’ Crissy mentioned. He wore a uniform, similar to Kichi’s former clothes, but an ugly grey Monokuma helmet sat on his head.

“Bruno-san,” Crissy sighed. “I brought ya to a house in Towa City… I know ya can fix this,” she grabbed his shoulder. “Ya know what happens if ya break the controller? 'R if the link between the Monokumas and the kids ’re severed?”

Knew? Please. Once he was bored of hacking government servers and sending nukes to small villages, he had helped the little green haired shit write the actual code. Bruno had even coded it so that if someone didn’t take it off just right, the thing would implode on the poor little bastard inside. However he didn’t want to devulge all of that in fear of what Crissy would do to him and simply nodded. He knew that no matter how desperate she was, if he freely gave away that info, she’d make him suffer when this was all over.

“Then please…” She breathed shakily. “Set them free. I tried and I can’t…can’t keep doing this…” Even with Crissy’s Super High School Level Sabotuer talent, he could tell she hadn’t been able to save many. Kichi must have been one of the lucky ones.

He turned back to the laptop and opened it. It was old, honestly. A giant piece of shit, but it could work. Hell, he lauched a nuke with worse. His fingers danced on the keys, not answering her. Her eyes lit up with hope, as she watched him work silently. She didn’t say a word until Kichi groaned in the background, complaining of boredom and hunger.

Crissy relented and retired with Kichi to the kitchen to whip up food for the boys, leaving Bruno alone with the boy in the Monokuma helmet. He tried not to look up at the boy, at the empty eyes of the helmet. Tried to push down the guilt, and the small voice at the back of his head that whispered about how cool it would be if he just moved around some code to make all the children’s heads just explode when Crissy walked in.

Bruno just grit his teeth bared it until-

Chssshhhhh

The helmet thumped onto the ground, revealing dark purple hair and watering violet eyes to match.

Bruno sighed and slid the laptop away from him, keeping the temptation to add any harmful coding at bay.

“Kaito-chan!”

He turned to the door and found that Kichi had returned with bread rolls and soup, probably for him. However, it didn’t matter, since the boy immediately dropped the entire platter and raced to his friend. Bruno didn’t mind; he probably would have thrown it up anyway.

“Kichi! I know yer not throwin’ shi-” Crissy stomped angrily into the room, but deflated the instant she found Kichi hugging and crying the hugging the confused but newly freed child.

She turned to Bruno, who in turn simply leaned back against the headboard, and brushed his fingernails against his shirt as if it was no big deal, a bit of his forner cheekiness beginning to shine through his formerly sullen face. “All the kids should be coming around about now.”

Her visible eye filled with tears and she flung her arms around him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She sobbed hard, catching the hacker off guard. He had no clue what the hell to do in this situation… so he simply pat her head. “I- I can’t thank you enough, Prettyboy!”

He never realized how much he missed that name.

((Yaaah still can’t end things for shit haa sorry if this was ooc like i couldn’t write this from Crissy’s view honestly and kaito and ouma are like 13 here which i figured would be appropriate since a certain character looked a bit older for reference also as far as i know they never broke up so like yeah haha))

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savrenim · 7 years ago

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Ok then!! So. What are your general thoughts on child labor? Why do you think it exists today? I mean, we know why but- why can't it be stopped without anything falling apart? If we stop the companies from hiring them, then we stop the children from earning food. If we try to help them dirsctly, it's not a feasible idea due to people either not have the esources to do so or not caring to. Why has child labor become a "necessary evil"? When did it become ok for that to exist?

(2/2) and when did it become so “inevitable” in our minds. But why isn’t anyone making more noise about it? Is it because it’s not happening to us directly? Is that why we’re so numb to it all? Why are debating about it, but never given the chance to make a real difference? (And why am I not caring as much as I should be. Am I part of it too? Will I become numb to every wrong to everything I witness? Are we just selfish for not standing?)

oh gods I just saw this. I’m going to try, but also, I do not know the intricacies of these issues and things are vastly different depending on where in the world you are talking about. this is not my field, and it would take proper years of study to give you an actual educated answer. so I’m going to give my sweeping generalized opinion.

my thoughts on child labor is that it shouldn’t really exist? for similar reasons to the fact that my general thoughts on labor is that it shouldn’t exist? we have the resources and the technology such that if humanity actually concentrated on creating a completely post-scarcity society, I think that we could do it. so no one should *have* to work to eat, period end, children fall under that clause. but yeah, it’s especially upsetting when it’s children.

it exists today because post-stage capitalism is a terrible and exploitive system. it’s not going to disappear until a different system is implemented. stopping companies from hiring them does nothing, because the model with which these companies profit is seeped in someone somewhere losing out. so stop companies. also, it’s not that much more of a help to put in a whole bunch of regulations that protect children and then the moment they pass a certain age, they’re not protected anymore. workers in general need more rights and more protection. companies need to have far fewer. global monopolies should be highly taxed, highly regulated, and have less legal rights, and the more laws that are passed that chip away at corporate power, the better things will get overall. that in theory can be affected through political and judicial systems, so vote, go into politics, and make noise to scare politicians, although again we’re currently in a stage in which we’re gathering data as a society on how effective those things actually seem to be.

the same sort of recourses and direct action of resource distribution to help children I think can and should just be used to help everywhere. in places like the US, distribute empty houses to the homeless free of charge, look at programs like universal income, if you’re in places that don’t have a whole bunch of empty houses you start out by stopping foreign entities of stripping environmental resources and sending reparations for centuries of resources being stripped. also while we’re at it can we begin mass reforestation and environmental reconstruction, which should help agricultural areas, and yeah none of that seems practical, none of that seems ~feasible~, but some serious stuff needs to be done to fix the world. environmental issues affecting local agriculture and forcing people into cities and causing food and labor crises is also a big thing and you might notice that I keep going back to environmental stuff/climate change stuff because that is a topic that I know a fair bit more about just because I’ve seen and studied a lot more of it. but everything is interconnected. and there is no fixing things, not properly, without a major system overhaul. maybe there are ways of overhauling the system slowly. maybe there are ways of doing it all at once without huge loss of life or collapse of society. I don’t know. maybe someone wiser than me does. or maybe we’ll find out by it happening, the same way that the Great Depression in America was one of the huge things that shifted child labor laws in the US.

I think we’re numb to it all because there’s just. so much. going on. and it’s hard to juggle it all and it’s hard to figure out what to do considering how thorough the system is. I currently am existing in a semi-nihilistic state where I’m not entirely convinced that humanity is going to make it through another century, considering how certain models of rapid climate change pan out combined with various regions that are going to be highly affected by those things having nukes. child labor became a necessary evil since industrialization when children were smaller and so more convenient to send crawling between factory machines. it’s going to keep being a necessary evil until we start valuing life more than power. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I vote. I go to protests sometimes, when I can. I try to think about things carefully and do actual research before I write when it looks like a lot of people might read it. I’m hoping to help make science happen that’ll make the whole humanity surviving and maybe humanity reaching the stars thing happen. if I ever reach a platform where my voice will be heard, I’ll use it. right now I try to do what I can to focus on supporting the people and communities around me so I don’t get overwhelmed, but that means it’s mostly mental health issues and LGBQ rights and gender issues/sexism that I’m thinking about and interfacing with on a day-to-day basis. I’ve found that things that I work best with and can most concretely impact are the small communities around me, so I try to cultivate and look out for those. on a larger scale, there’s also a degree to which sharing information and the internet existing in general is causing huge shifts in public opinion and outcry and outrage, maybe that’ll start working, maybe millennials not growing up to be the late-stage consumers we were supposed to be raised as is going to shake things up massively, maybe the massive changes we need already are in the works. you’re a part of it as much as you’re a part of the rest of the world you’ve been given, and you’re responsible for about one ten-billionth of the world that in about a century you’ll leave behind.

#child labor for tw

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