#someone please take my hand and joining me in the 'clark has the same big beautiful brown eyes as a ribbon winning beloved cow' truth....
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just when you think you've hit rock bottom you want to fuck a man that has blue eyes :/
#someone please take my hand and joining me in the 'clark has the same big beautiful brown eyes as a ribbon winning beloved cow' truth....#ransom note
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I posted 20,769 times in 2022
12 posts created (0%)
20,757 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess
@igothurtdoingsafetydance
@desdemonasarahmckenzie
@vaspider
@bat-kidsarebi-kids
I tagged 2,907 of my posts in 2022
#jason todd - 328 posts
#bruce wayne - 215 posts
#batman - 215 posts
#dick grayson - 189 posts
#tim drake - 168 posts
#batfam - 124 posts
#star wars - 120 posts
#dc - 116 posts
#dc comics - 110 posts
#red hood - 109 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#(though as an aside clark's eyes. he totally looks like he's checking lex out.im not a lex/clark shipper but i look at my husband that way)
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
And unlike Misha Collins, I didn't take it back. I committed to the bit!
(I am genuinely bisexual)
4 notes - Posted April 26, 2022
#4
The end of Encanto had me in tears. Flat out sobbing. Really good movie.
7 notes - Posted January 19, 2022
#3
Just putting it out there. These bitches? Same person. You can’t convince me otherwise.
10 notes - Posted April 3, 2022
#2
Okay, so "Freedom" protestors (who are protesting covid restrictions) have shut down Canberra's Lifeline Book Fair. It's a second hand book sale, most books between $1 and about $5.
The protestors have completely taken over the car park and are harrassing people who are wearing masks.
For the safety of the general public, the fair has been shut down.
The book fair is Lifeline's main source of donations, and without it, the already strained mental health call-service becomes strained even further. They have worked so hard throughout the pandemic to help will depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. Without the Book Fair, they're going to struggle to meet the needs of thousands struggling with their mental health.
Please, if you have anything to spare. Even if it's just a dollar, please donate to Canberra Lifeline Service. This is a service we can't afford to lose. It could mean all the difference, could save someone's life.
https://www.lifelinecanberra.org.au/donate/
10 notes - Posted February 12, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Bestie your addition to the Batfam/Harley makes me FROTH at the mouth; I actually checked and her names actually LUCY QUINZEL I DIE,,, SHES SO ADORABLE,,,
And she's just fucking Normal which is so fucking funny- it breaks me that Harley couldn't be in her life but when she STARTS,,, OH MANNNN,,, convinced Damian and her would be besties with " someone will die" " of FUN" vibes with Jon too!!!! Im. Dying. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have any sjsjsjsjs
Omg, Lucy and Brucie, so cute they rhyme 💖💖💖 yes, and then Bruce and Harley will get all emotional over the Lucy/Damien/Jon trio, cos like, it'll be like when they were kids with Harvey! And then like, having family dinners, and Lucy calling Alfred grandpa, because Harley unironically calls Alfred "dad". I'm crying. THEY'RE A FAMILY! And like, Harley making fun of Bruce for dropping out of med school, when she went all the way to get a PH.D and them being super proud when one of the new trio goes to med school. I have a lot of feelings.
Oh and the shenanigans these children will get into, with like big brother Dick and/or Jason, definitely Tim, joining in or enabling. And Bruce and Harley can't even be mad, cos they lowkey/highkey thought it was hilarious, or did worse things when they were the same age together.
Like I'm insane about Cass having big sister bonding time with little sister Lucy, like taking this little girl under her (bat) wing and just uuuggghhh. Teaching Lucy sign language and how to read body language, especially if Lucy wants to become a psychiatrist like her mum to help give patients the best care, or become a vigilante like her. I'm such a slut for found family, you have no idea
Based on this post
71 notes - Posted September 11, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#I feel kind of called out by this honestly
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Sub Rosa [95]
xi. etherea
Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader
Word Count: 1.7k
Warnings: language, angst, anxiety.
Summary: an unexpected reunion shocks you in more ways than one.
a/n: I can’t believe we’re on 95!!! how are we so close to the end omg??!! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!
previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist
Word of Anders' death and Diyoza’s sacrifice travels quickly, and Cadogan comes to find all of you, shocked and still standing outside the machine room door. You are all led to his personal quarters, encouraged to eat and sleep and rest, with the promise to meet again in a few hours. Miller, Raven, Hope, Jordan, and Niylah all crash in the giant bedroom, but you, Clarke, Octavia, Echo, and Gabriel are all too wired or hungry to sleep, and you sit together in the large dining room of the Shepherd. It’s not long before food, real food, not just nutrition bars, is brought to you, and you look it over before you exchange a look with the others. “They were capable of food like this the whole time? Why the hell were we eating all that bland stuff?”
“Guess they didn't want to waste it on some low level disciples.”
You wish you had enough of an appetite to eat the first real meal that’s been offered to you in ages, but your stomach is tied in knots, wrapped tight with anxiety. You shake your head and plop into a seat beside Clarke, her eyes locked on a wall across the room, and you reach out to squeeze her hand, trying to pull her out of her head. Gabriel and Octavia each take a seat at the table while Echo remains standing, choosing to pace the room as her brain processes the last few hours and what she nearly did before you all arrived. Diyoza’s death hangs over the room like a wet blanket, and though you only knew her for a few months, it still hurts you to know that she’s gone. It hurts you worse when you realize the loss that Octavia and Hope must be feeling.
Octavia sits and picks at her food, unable to stomach it right now, but Gabriel sits nearby, hungrily eating anything within his reach, looking over all of you with a nod. “Thank God for the Flame. Doubt they'd serve us saji bowls in jail.”
Octavia eventually gives up on the prospect of stomaching anything, dropping her spoon into her bowl and looking at Gabriel in disbelief. “How could you eat right now?”
Echo looks over at Gabriel, reminding you and him of a memory that feels so long ago now, when Orlando was preparing you for your mission to Bardo. “He can always eat.”
If it were any other moment, you’d laugh. But with Diyoza’s death over your head and the looming possibility for severe punishment for both Hope and Echo, you’re too tense to laugh. Clarke must think the same thing, because she abruptly stands from her chair and glances over at the only man in the room. “Gabriel's right. If they didn't believe I had the Flame, we'd be in cells.”
She starts to cross the room, towards the door, and you stand and call out to her. “Where are you going?”
“To wake the others. It's time to go back to Sanctum.”
Gabriel glances her way, pausing his feast to shake his head. “Clarke, we're under house arrest.”
“I'm aware of that. I'm also aware our leverage disappears the moment he puts me in front of that stone.”
You lock eyes with your twin, starting to guess where this is going. “So what are you gonna do?”
“I'm gonna offer to do it as soon as the rest of you are safely back on Sanctum.”
Octavia stands, instantly disagreeing, “Clarke, they'll kill you.”
Echo adds, “You are not sacrificing yourself for us.”
You stare at your twin, shaking your head, letting her know her plan is completely out of the question. “You’ve lost your mind if you think I’m leaving you here with these people.”
She doesn't get the chance to argue back, because the door behind her slides open, and someone announces, “Make way for the Shepherd.”
You take the few steps separating you and Clarke, so you can stand by her side, and Octavia shifts closer to the two of you. Gabriel stands and moves around the table, along with Echo, all of you united on one side, mentally preparing yourselves for anything. As the disciples step into the room, they move apart, making room for Bill before a few more disciples pull up the rear. As soon as Clarke locks eyes with Bill, she starts, “We need to talk. I'm ready to help you, but only after my friends are…”
She trails off when Cadogan turns and motions towards the door, and confused, you all turn to see what he’s motioning towards, watching as a heavily bearded man in a large coat shuffles into the room. It takes a second for you to recognize him, your eyes finding the freckles along his face and the warm eyes beneath an unruly mop of hair, but as soon as you recognize him, you nearly collapse, reaching out for Clarke as you mutter, “Bellamy?”
He nods a little, confirming what you already knew, and you swear all of the air leaves your lungs. Your knees feel weak, tears springing to your eyes and spilling over your face as your body starts to move, you and Octavia both walking towards him. But in doing so, you trigger a reaction from the room full of guards, all of them lifting weapons towards you, freezing you in place. You stare at him, stunned, and your brain struggles to form more words, stumbling over a long list of questions before you manage to gasp, “How?”
Echo, sounding just as shocked, adds, “We saw you die.”
Octavia shifts a little, and you can hear her sniffle as she stares at her big brother, in awe to see that he is alive and well. “It's hard to keep the Blakes down.”
The room is silent, no one sure what to say, but from the corner of your eye, you see Clarke glancing at you and Octavia, able to see that the two of you are practically buzzing, unable to hold back your reunions much longer. She turns her gaze to Bill, using her status as the chosen one to demand, “Let them hug him.”
He stares at her for a long second, and you think he’s going to say no, but then a smile crosses his features and he commands, “Stand down.”
You turn to look at Octavia, whose eyes are on you and you nod towards Bellamy, knowing she likely wants to hug her brother first. She smiles at you in thanks before stepping forward and tugging him into a hug, and you watch on with a smile, happy to see the reunion. Octavia steps away and makes room for you to hug him, and you glance at Clarke before you do, exchanging a silent conversation. Should you warn him? Clarke gives you an imperceptible nod, both of you aware of the dangers of Bellamy accidentally slipping up because he’s not in the loop. You’re lucky Gabriel was in the room when Clarke arrived, able to clue her in to play along, saving all of your lives as you work to get off Bardo. You step forward and pull Bellamy into your arms, relishing in the feel of him, smiling as his arms wrap around your back, returning the hug. A hug that is five years, three months, and two days in the making. A hug that you have longed for since you first arrived on Skyring. A hug you nearly drowned for, learned to play disciple for. You want nothing more than to kiss him, whisk him away to some private room and tell him everything, show him how much you’ve missed him, but you know you’ll have time for that later. Right now, you have an audience and you have a mission, so you lean forward and whisper into his ear, “The key is the Flame. They think it's still in Clarke’s head, say nothing.”
You pull away with a smile, your eyes never leaving Bellamy as Cadogan announces, “I hope that now you're ready to help us, Clarke. Too much blood has been spilled. Each death is a child of Earth who won't transcend. I'll give you time to reunite while we make preparations.”
Clarke nods in agreement, and you glance at your twin, tears on her face, just as happy to see her best friend alive. Cadogan turns and starts to leave the room, and just as he reaches the door, Bellamy speaks for the first time, his words shocking you all into silence. “My Shepherd.”
Your eyes widen and your mouth drops open a little, and you see Clarke and Octavia’s smiles drop as you all turn to stare at Bellamy, who has now turned towards Bill. “There's something you should know: Clarke doesn't have the Key. The Flame was destroyed, I'm sorry.”
You swear you’ve never been more stunned in your entire life.
And it’s only later, after Cadogan has the disciples drag everyone into a cell, after your fiance has betrayed you, that you realize something is wrong. You were so blinded by your joy at seeing him alive that you didn't even stop to really process his appearance. Not just the long hair or thick clothes, but the blank expression he gave all of you as soon as he stepped in the room. Any other time he would have burst in and tugged you and Octavia both into hugs, initiating the hugs first, not waiting for you to come to him. But now he just looks at all of you as if you’re a stranger.
And the realization hurts. The betrayal hurts too. You thought Bellamy joining Pike or not telling you about Echo was the worst thing he could ever do to you. But now you see that this is.
Whatever the hell this actually is.
You pray to the Universe that it’s a fluke. He’s playing a part, knows something that you don't.
But something deep in your gut is telling you it’s not a fluke, and he’s not paying an angle.
Deep down, you know that Bellamy is lost to you.
Now, he’s a believer.
Now, he’s a disciple.
Which means that now, he is your enemy.
-
next chapter
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Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 6x14 Page 23
Okay what episode do we have today?
Ah okay, a Regina centric. That’s cool.
Is that the same guard Snow stripped naked in 1x16? Whaaaat?! Just looked it up and it totally is! Awesome call back! I’m going to name him Jim.
Oh my God, she killed Jim!!
Wait, so this has to be after Heart of Darkness.
The terrified look on that woman’s face when Regina strokes her chin, looks at her longingly and tells her she loves her. Omg Regina was in love with this woman all along! It was never about Daniel. It was about Christina! I’m naming her Christina.
They are my otp now.
How did Tinker Bell get out of neverland? Pan decides when people leave, and I doubt he’d let her leave just to pay a visit with the Evil Queen. But then and again maybe it was all part of his big plan.
Oh. Pixie dust doesn’t dictate who your true love is. It just shows you possibilities. That’s not what you said before, Tinker Bell!
Regina, we all know you spared her because she’s your ex-girlfriend.
Actually, this visit from Tinker Bell is odd because she doesn’t seem angry at all like when she, like, wanted to kill Regina in 3x03. How did she go from, “okay. I lost my wings because of you but it’s all cool. I just want my otp together.” to “I’m gonna f***ing drug you with pixie dust and rip your heart out!”?
Also, this is the Evil Queen I like to see. So cold, terrifying and breaking on the inside. I’m not a fan of the humorous one in 6x02. I wish Split Queen was more like this as well. Ah different writers and director. Interesting.
Split Queen: “…not some burlap-loving peasant who sleeps on dirt.” Wish Robin: “Excuse me, I sleep on hay.” Important distinction!
Snow’s so excited about the wedding, bless her.
Lol Zelena just drags Emma’s hand to look at her ring. My girl loves shiny things! And how could I forget, her otp is getting married! She is in heaven right now!
I love Emma just casually talking to Zelena like they’re gal pals at a sleepover. More of this please!
I can see what sqers say about this scene. Regina really does look hurt by the notion of Emma getting married. There is no heterosexual reason for her to react like this unless she’s in love with Hook. I think this is the only time they hug. Man, I feel so bad for sqers because upon this rewatch I can really see where they are coming from with that interpretation. It’s definitely there. And then they hug because Emma’s getting married to someone else. I would be so upset if that was my otp. What am I talking about, I watched 10 seasons of Smallville as a hardcore Chloe x Clark shipper. I think this exact scenario played out and it freaking hurts!
In other news, I am so in love with Snow. Have I mentioned that? I feel like I haven’t mentioned it in a while and it needs to be said.
I’m also in love with David, in case you forgot. I want to join their marriage. Can I join their marriage? I’m joining their marriage. Emma, I’m your mummy now. Don’t think about the age difference too much.
I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate already today. Can you tell? I feel so alive! I want to share my social security number and be freeee!! I am trying to block out my anxiety about having to move house again next friday. Yep, that’s right, 4th place in two years. I think I will write all of these high on chocolate.
What would happen if you cut your hair with those sheers? Or your garden bush? No, that is not a euphemism, you dirty bastards (affectionate).
I haven’t had a haircut in 10 years. Holy cow! That’s why my afro is so big, it’s full of secrets.
Nemo is your dad now, Hook. Even though I’m pretty sure he’s a lot younger than you.
He called him “My boy.” hehe.
I remember when I thought Hook and Rumple had the same mother. That would have been quite the twist.
I thought that vase of flowers was a giant cauliflower. Did you know broccoli, cauliflower, cabbages, brussels sprouts and turnips are all related? I wonder what thanksgivings are like when they all get together. Probably not fun for them.
See what I did there xD?
Emma: “This is my fault. I’m the one who convinced you to bring him here. It’s on me.” Regina: “Emma, you don’t have anything to make up for. You were just trying to help.” Omg, this compared to when she told Emma she’d ruined her life because Emma saved Marian. The development. I really appreciate this change because I nearly lost it with Regina when that was her attitude.
Screw it, I’m making bean enchiladas. Brb. I’ll save you some!
I’m back! They’re in the oven. Anyone wants the recipe hmu! They’re veggie!
You just know Split Queen and Wish Robin have a sexy dungeon in their castle. They just do.
Enchanted ropes would have been useful in so many situations.
The enchiladas are ready! Repeat after me, Becky: “I will remember oven gloves this time, I will remember oven gloves this time.”
Robin is so into Split Queen. He wants her to live with him and everything, even though they just met.
I don’t think that arrow would have taken her to Robin since it takes her to the thing she loves most. She can’t love someone she’s never met. We all know it would shoot Christina right in the ass. That’s true love biatches! Evil Peasant 5ever!
Oh snap! Emma found Hook looking at himself killing her grandfather??! I completely forgot about this!
Why does she say, “That’s David’s father”? Why doesn’t she say, “That’s my grandfather,” or “That’s my dad’s dad”? She hasn’t called her dad ‘David’ in years. It’s like she’s trying to separate herself from the victim as much as possible.
She’s not even a little bit upset he killed her dad’s dad? That that event caused her father so much pain? She’s just infuriated that he tried to burn his memory. I mean, yes, she should be angry about that but where’s the empathy for her dad at least? I didn’t know any of my grandfathers well but if I found out I was engaged to someone who did that I would be angry for my grandparent, angry for my parent and angry for myself. I’m just speechless that that’s all she cares about. It seems so out of character. But then and again Regina had her other grandad killed.
And now he’s gonna leave because he rightfully got told off. Can’t say I’d offer the same thing but she said, “until you’re ready” not “you’ll never be ready”, dude.
I think he’s just scared David will punch him in the face at this point. It’s the only explanation for doing the exact opposite thing Emma asked of him.
“Captain Hook is always welcome on the Nautilus.” More like welcome on the naughty list after that stunt.
She doesn’t want a man, Henry Sr. She just confessed her deep, passionate, sexual love for Christina like 20 minutes ago, remember? Sometimes I wonder why I bother. It’s not even subtext, dude. Get it together, man.
Why don’t they fight themselves with magic?
Her dad is so heartbroken the person Regina hates most is herself.
That is really sad that the person she hates most his herself. I can relate.
Yes! Launch those apples at yourself!
My conversations with myself be like-
Oh boy. This is too reminiscent of conversations with myself. Yes, I sword fight myself wearing a fancy black, cleavage-revealing dress in my head all the time. Only joking, I wear trilby hats.
Oh okay. Now they’re tying each other up. I see what this is really about. I still haven’t bleached the “we do like it rough, don’t we Regina?” line from my mind.
I suppose she did take back some of her own darkness. But I was hoping she would just merge herself back together. That would have been a really predictable outcome, but I just would have preferred it.
This scene is so weird lol, but it helped me tremendously. I used to hate myself so, so much. You don’t even understand. It was like a violent hatred for myself for not fitting in and for every single little mistake I’d ever made. Then with a lot of self- healing and the help of this episode I began my journey into loving myself. I wrote on a sticky note “Love yourself. If the Evil Queen can do it, so can you.” and stuck it to my wall. Nothing I’ve done is comparable to what the Evil Queen has done and if she can learn to love herself, why can’t everyone else. Anyone who’s struggling with self-hatred, please take this episode to heart. You are worthy of love, most importantly from yourself. Any time you find yourself hating yourself just try to remember this scene and that the flipping Evil Queen of all people recognised the importance of self-love and didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought. She damn well gave herself a chance. I’ve heard a good technique is looking in the mirror and telling yourself what you love about you. Even if you’re not feeling it at first, you could get into the habit of it and your brain will start to accept those words as true. Because they are true.
Aww she sees the Charmings as her family.
Regina: “it did give me hope when I needed it most, and that is just as important.” Oh my God, preach the word Regina! Regina is preaching with fire today!
It’s like she’s having a therapy session with herself. I need to do that. I really do. Then I need to get actual therapy lol xD. But baby steps!
Okay. A loophole as to how he can change Split Queen’s story. You know what, at this point I’ve learnt just to go with it.
Can Snow and Zelena be best friends? Please. It’s literally all I want in life. And to join Snowing’s marriage. I’m not asking for much. I’ll talk about it in self-therapy.
Henry’s got Gideon’s haircut now. He wants to be cool like his uncle.
I want to look at myself with the love and adoration Regina looks at herself with. We should all get to that point where we look like we’re about to intensely make out with ourselves when we look in the mirror.
I know what they were doing with page 23. I just wish Split Queen had changed her outfit so it could have been exactly like the page illustration. But I don’t think it was meant to predict the future. It was just one of Isaac’s fanfictions, wasn’t it? Hmm. I think it was a mystery to him as well if I can remember correctly.
It’s nice that oq shippers got their ship in the end in one form.
Snow is just constantly high up to her eyeballs on hope, bless her.
Emma needs a dog. She seems like such a dog person.
Also, that enchilada was yumilicious, if I do say so myself.
#ouat#once upon a time#regina mills#emma swan#the evil queen#ouat 6x14#6x14 page 23#ouat rewatch#ouat rewatch 2019
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A Long Way Back - Part 1 of 2
Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader
Rating: General
Requested By: Anon
Word Count: ~7,900 total, ~3400 in part 1
Author’s Note: This request asked for current Gerard with a singer who is younger and to be honest, I started this request immediately when I got it, but I’ve been picking it up and putting it down on and off since then. I was inspired by His Smile Will Keep You Safe by @xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx and I Know I’ll Lose by @sunsetinmyvein and while this story is nowhere near as long as their stories, I hope that you guys enjoy it regardless. I’ve also thrown together a playlist if you’re interested as well
“We are Garden of Woe and don’t you ever forget it! Thank you Milwaukee!” (YN) shouted as the band hit their final notes and the lights went out. The crowd was cheering and (YN) felt that addicting mix of adrenaline and exhaustion that she always felt after an amazing show.
“That show was sick!” Liam the guitarist raved and (YN) nodded enthusiastically as she took a swig from her water bottle on the way backstage.
“Hey guys, great show as usual,” their manager Clark grinned when they walked in the dressing room. “Can I get your attention for a second?”
(YN) looked at her bandmates, a look of confusion shared amongst them. “What’s going on?”
“I didn’t wanna tell you guys before the show and have yall be in your heads, but” he paused. “You’ve been asked to open for My Chemical Romance on their US reunion tour.”
(YN) thought she was about to either faint, puke, or die on the spot. “Clark don’t fuck with us.”
“I’m not fucking with you.”
“Oh my god, this is, oh my god,” Jake the drummer muttered, a far away look in his eyes as Rebecca the bass player just stood there with a shocked look on her face.
(YN) sunk down on the couch, legs unable to support her anymore. “I had just hoped to get tickets to one of those shows,” she said with an astonished laugh, holding her head in her hands.
“Well if you accept, you’re gonna be going to every show, getting paid to be there, and getting more exposure than you ever could dream of,” Clark replied.
“I think I speak for everyone when I say hell yes!” Liam exclaimed, the rest of the band agreeing instantly.
“Then it’s settled, I’ll get in touch with their management tomorrow morning and you better get ready because you’re about to go on a wild ride.”
~
To (YN) it felt like an instant and an eternity at the same time before Garden of Woe departed for the first stop of the MCR reunion tour. A lot of buzz had been building around their band since it was announced that they, along with Taking Back Sunday for the first half of the tour and Crystal Lake Cemetery for the second half, would be opening the shows.
“Are you so stoked Becs? Are you? Are you?!” Liam shouted, shaking Rebecca’s shoulders excitedly as their bus rolled down the highway.
“If you keep doing that I’m going to barf on you,” Rebecca snapped back.
Everyone’s nerves had been on edge since Clark had told them the news and arguments had been erupting about things like the setlist, or what their merch would look like, and the tension only seemed to grow the closer they got to the start of the tour. Rebecca wouldn't even return (YN)'s calls for a week over a debate about what they should be wearing on stage.
“Oh my god Liam, I say this with all the love in the world, but please shut the fuck up,” (YN) muttered.
Liam, with his endless energy, bounced across the tour bus to where (YN) was sitting and climbed onto her lap. “You! This is literally what you’ve been talking about since you were 16 years old! This is why we formed Garden of Woe, why we’ve been struggling and starving for a decade!”
“I know, but you’re never gonna see the stage if you keep bugging everyone like this,” (YN) retorted to her friend in her lap.
“What are you gonna say when you finally meet them?”
“Will we even meet them?” (YN) asked, trying to sound aloof. She had been trying not to think about actually meeting the band that she had been obsessed with and saved her life when she was a depressed teenager back in 2004. When she and Liam founded Garden of Woe, she modeled her stage presence on Gerard’s after watching hours of live performance videos. When My Chem announced they were getting back together back on Halloween 2019, (YN) cried tears of joy for hours and they did an extra encore of just MCR covers at their show that night.
“We’re gonna be on the road with them for two months, of course we are,” Jake replied.
(YN) groaned. “I can’t deal with this right now,” she grumbled, pushing Liam off her before climbing into her bunk.
A while later Clark was calling her name to come out as they had arrived at the first venue. “Alright, here is the itinerary: you guys have soundcheck at 5:30, doors are at 6:30, you’re on at 7:30. After your set, you should get to the main merch booth to sign things for the fans, but you can watch Taking Back Sunday and My Chem if you’d prefer. Then two hours after My Chem finishes, we load back in and it’s on to the next stop.”
(YN) glanced at her phone, it was just before 2 PM, which meant they had hours before their soundcheck. Hours to build up more nervous energy, to possibly run into My Chem or Taking Back Sunday, another band she’d looked up to for just as long.
The bus rolled to a stop and they grabbed the things they’d need for the show that night and headed inside. There were other big black busses already parked outside and roadies moving things around.
“This is real, this is really real. This is the biggest thing we’ve ever done and we’re really here,” Rebecca said, totally astonished as (YN) linked arms with her.
“I’m really trying not to think about it,” (YN) replied. Even from the back of the stadium they could hear the crowd already waiting out front. When they got to the door, they flashed their badges and were escorted to their dressing room.
“Do we just wait here? Can we go walk around? I wanna go check everything out,” Liam babbled excitedly.
“How much coffee did you drink today, dude?” (YN) asked, trying to keep the nerves out of her voice.
“None. Come on, let’s get out there and meet our tourmates! Who is with me? (YN), Jake, Becs?”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna try to calm down and center myself and not piss off the people who are employing us.”
“I’ll go,” Jake replied.
“Yea me too, get it over with,” (YN) mumbled. She’d met so many people touring and opening for bands she looked up to that it shouldn’t make her nervous, but Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Frank were legendary. The three bandmates started to wander the halls, peeking in doors until they heard people talking.
“Is this happening? Are we about to meet them?” (YN) looked at Liam, her heart hammering.
“Come on,” he said, grabbing her elbow and leading the way. “‘Scuse me, sorry to interrupt, but we wanted to introduce ourselves. We are Garden of Woe.”
“Hey, nice to finally meet you guys, I’m Gerard,” Gerard said, getting up to shake their hands. Jake and Liam introduced themselves like normal humans, but (YN) was screaming internally.
“I’m (YN),” she squeaked, and Gerard gave her an amused smile and she was certain her brain melted. Then all the sudden she was introducing herself to Mikey, Frank, and Ray as well and it was as if she had transcended to another plane of existence. She listened as they easily made conversation with Jake and Liam, but she couldn’t put together a coherent thought to join in.
“Are you ok?” she heard someone asking. Shaking her head to pull herself out of her thoughts, she realized it was Gerard.
“Yea, yea, thanks, just kinda overwhelmed by everything that’s going on,” she admitted.
Gerard nodded. “Yea, being back in the tour life has been kinda weird. Overwhelming, like you said.”
“For sure. And I don’t wanna seem like, I dunno, a crazed fan, but I have to tell you, I’ve been listening to you guys since I was 16 when Three Cheers came out. It got me through so much and your performance style inspired me so much and how I perform and yea. Sorry to ramble, I just had to get that off my chest, I won’t bug you about it again,” (YN) said with another shake of her head as she put her hands over her face. She didn’t know why, but tears were stinging at her eyes. “So sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he replied and he reached out and rubbed her arm. “We saw you guys performing and that’s why we asked you to come out with us. You have a lot of talent.”
“Well thank you, this is literally a dream come true,” (YN) blushed. Receiving a compliment like that from Gerard Way himself was mind blowing.
“My Chem, you’re up for soundcheck,” someone with a headset called from the doorway.
“We’ll see you around,” Gerard waved as they made their way out the door. After the band was gone (YN), Jake, and Liam stood alone in the dressing room silently for a moment.
“Holy fucking hell we just met My Chemical Romance!” Liam shrieked.
“I know!” (YN) shouted in reply, throwing her arms around her friends in a celebratory hug.
~
"(YN). Earth to (YN)," Liam said, pulling her from her thoughts. "You ready?"
"No, not at all," she replied and Liam could see the fear in her face. It had been a long time since he had seen her that nervous before a performance.
"You got this," he said to (YN). "We all got this, come on!"
Just then the stage lights dimmed and the crowd roared like she'd never heard before. The other three took their places on stage. "Fuck it," she muttered to herself and ran out on stage.
45 minutes later Garden of Woe was taking their bow and hurrying off stage so the roadies could switch out their equipment for Taking Back Sunday’s. The four bandmates were wrapping each other in sweaty hugs and jumping up and down, as the set had gone better than they ever could have hoped. After cleaning themselves up a bit, they went to the merch booth and signed autographs and took photos for a while, but the line cleared out again once Taking Back Sunday went on. After they finished, there wasn't much time before MCR were going to take the stage, so (YN) hurried backstage and found a crate to sit on and watch while the greatest band of their generation took the stage.
The show was absolutely awe inspiring; to watch the way Ray shredded on his guitar, the way Frank and Mikey moved around the stage, but most of all watching Gerard. He was a natural on stage, even after all this time away from it. While she had watched enough interviews on youtube to know that he was soft spoken, the way he turned that off and started to just command the stage and the crowd was incredible. What she couldn’t believe was that no one else was with her watching the show. Did they not realize what an opportunity they were missing she wondered.
"Enjoying the show?" Gerard asked when they came off stage before the encore.
"So much! You're kicking so much ass out there!" She beamed and the guys all laughed in appreciation.
Once the show was over and everyone was cleaned up, the bands all came together to celebrate a little before it was time to reboard the busses. The drinks were flowing for everyone that partook as people talked happily, but (YN) found herself without a place to sit until she decided to crash on Liam's lap.
Ray smiled as he walked over to them. “Hey, how’d the first show go?”
“Amazing!” Liam grinned.
“So amazing, but you guys, holy shit!” (YN) gushed. “I suppose when you’ve played together for so long you don’t just lose that, even after a break.”
"That’s true,” Ray nodded. “How long have you been a band?”
“About ten years,” (YN) replied. “We talked about it in high school, but neither of us could play an instrument, and life was so hard back then. We couldn’t get our shit together until after he graduated from college. It's only really been in the last few years we've been able to find some success with it.”
“So are you two together?" Ray asked, looking between the pair.
"Oh nooo," (YN) laughed. "Liam's practically my brother."
"And I'm gay," Liam interjected.
"And there's that," (YN) nodded.
“Well you guys have a real dynamic that works,” Ray shrugged. The way he treated them as if they were equals to everyone else on the tour was exactly the confidence boost (YN) needed as the tour got started.
~
The next few days of the tour were very much the same. Rolling into town, hurry up and wait, getting to know the guys in the other bands, and then finally getting on stage. After signing for fans, (YN) would rush backstage to watch MCR perform, and after that everyone would gather again until it was time to load back into the busses to the next town.
Each day was a little less nerve-wracking than the last and (YN) finally felt like she was coming out of her shell. She’d hoped that Rebecca would be her right-hand woman, since there were so few other women out on the tour, but Rebecca had been heading straight to the busses after the shows, instead of hanging out with everyone else.
“Do you have any idea what’s up with Becs?” (YN) asked the other two members of the band after their soundcheck.
“Nope,” Jake replied quickly before heading back behind his kit again.
“Just go talk to her,” Liam suggested.
(YN) grumbled before nodding and heading back to the dressing room. “Hey Becs!” (YN) said as chipperly as she could muster. “Are you gonna hang with us after the show tonight? I miss hanging out with you, and the guys are all super fun to talk to.”
“I dunno, maybe,” she replied, but (YN) couldn’t get a read on her mood.
“What are you gonna wear tonight? I was thinking my Mikey Fuckin Way shirt that I cropped,” (YN) said turning to their wardrobe rack.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Rebecca said before quickly turning and almost running out of the room. Moments later Liam came in.
“What the hell was that about?”
“I have no idea dude, I tried though, I really did.”
Despite the weirdness between Rebecca and the rest of the band, the show went well. (YN) again ducked out early from their signing to catch the MCR show from her favorite spot at the side of the stage. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was imagining things, but it seemed like whenever Gerard looked her way, he’d always smile just at her.
“Still enjoying the show?” Gerard asked when he came off stage before their encore.
“I’ve got years of not seeing you guys live to catch up on, I’m never gonna get sick of it,” she laughed.
Gerard nodded. “I caught your show tonight, you guys are really killin it.”
(YN) could have sworn her soul left her body for a moment. “R-really?”
“Yea, I really-”
“Gee, we’re back on,” Ray said tapping him on the shoulder.
(YN) waved him off as he went back on stage and the crowd roared again. She tried to keep from screaming herself, but for an entirely different reason.
At the end of the show, everyone convened as usual for the post-show celebration. (YN) was glad to find that Rebecca had joined the group, even if she was mostly just talking to Jake. She had meant to talk to her, but got pulled into a conversation with Adam instead.
“Ok, but can you teach me to swing the mic like you do and not kill someone?” (YN) asked with a laugh.
“Sure thing, how ‘bout after your sound check tomorrow?” Adam offered.
“Perfect, can’t wait!” (YN) grinned, but in the corner Rebecca was rolling her eyes.
From the other side of the room Mikey was trying to talk to Gerard, but he was noticeably distracted. Following his brother’s line of sight, realized Gerard was watching (YN)’s animated conversation with Adam. He bumped his shoulder into Gerard’s.
“You really are into (YN) aren’t you?” Mikey asked with a knowing smile and Gerard just shrugged dejectedly. “Why don’t you just ask her out or something?”
“I can’t,” Gerard replied.
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because why? Why? What good reason do you have?” Mikey argued.
“Because I’m older than her, because I don’t want her to feel obligated to spend time with me just because we’re on this tour together. Because I’m not… I’m not the Gerard Way I used to be.”
"What the fuck does that mean?" Mikey asked sternly.
"I know I'm not a sexy rock star anymore, I'm a divorced dad with grey in his hair and," he sighed. "You know what I mean."
"Gee, you know you're in a better place now in so many ways than you were before. Stop talking yourself out of it.”
Gerard just grumbled in response. He knew his brother was right, he was better off now than he was ten years ago, worlds better than he was even longer ago than that. But he couldn’t help but worry that (YN) wouldn’t be interested in him. At least not the current version of him.
But that didn’t change how he felt about her
~
The next stop on the tour was Riot Fest, but Garden of Woe would not actually be opening for My Chem and Taking Back Sunday. They had been relegated to one of the smaller side stages earlier in the day. (YN) and Liam were hanging out on the curb outside their bus in the warm, mid September Chicago air when Frank and Gerard came by.
“Hey, when are you guys on today?” Frank asked.
“At 4:30, why?” Liam answered
Frank climbed in between the two and pulled out his phone. “Gerard is always talking about how awesome your show is, so I was gonna promote you guys.”
(YN) looked up at Gerard who smiled shyly. “Well Gerard, why don’t you get in on this too then,” she smiled.
“Sure,” he nodded and sat down next to her as Liam took Frank’s phone and held it out so he could get everyone in the shot.
“Hey guys, we’re at Riot Fest, and before we play tonight, you gotta go check out our friends Garden of Woe," Frank said to the camera.
“4:30 on the Riot Stage,” (YN) added, flashing a peace sign before Liam finished recording. “Thanks guys, we really appreciate it. I don’t know how many people would be stopping by our set without the promo.”
“Well they should be, like I said before, you’re amazing,” Gerard replied as (YN) looked over at him with a soft smile. Over (YN)’s shoulder, Liam and Frank were exchanging knowing looks.
Hours later the band was waiting off stage, a few minutes before they were due to go on for their set.
“Holy shit, I didn’t expect the crowd this big,” Jake said after peaking out.
“I guess Frank’s post worked,” Liam shrugged.
“What post?” Rebecca asked.
“This one,” (YN) replied, pulling out her phone and pulling up the post she’d bookmarked. She let the video play, smiling happily at the four of them on the screen.
“Look at you all cozy with My Chem, what a surprise,” Rebecca deadpanned.
(YN) shot her a confused look and was about to open her mouth when Liam interjected.
“Ha, look at these comments,” Liam said, snatching the phone away. “People are totally shipping you and Gerard, (YN).”
“Shut up, no they aren’t,” she replied, but could feel her cheeks burning red.
“Yea they are, look!” He said pointing them out. (YN) scrolled through and couldn’t help but feel honored that people would think that she and Gerard made a cute couple. She could only imagine what it’d really be like.
“Don’t we have a show to play?” Rebecca asked snidely, snapping her from her thoughts.
“Becs is right, come on let’s get ready.” (YN) nodded, putting her phone away.
The energy of the crowd was great, and the fans that were up front were actually singing along, which brought a smile to (YN)’s face. An even bigger smile crossed her face when she glanced at the side of the stage and saw Gerard and Frank were there watching the show too.
Part 2
#gerard way x reader#gerard way fan fic#gerard way fan fiction#gerard way imagine#my chemical romance fan fic#my chemical romance fan fiction
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Essays in Existentialism: Troublemaker (Before)
Previously on Troublemaker
“See! You’re having a good time!”
The music pulsated through the streets, and Lexa didn’t care that her sister was gloating because she really was having a good time despite all intentions otherwise. The sun was bright and glaring without a cloud in the sky, and downtown was brimming with all colors, alive and vibrant, celebrating. And she as swept up in it, proud and overflowing with the music and freedom of being completely herself and being completely unknown in the crowd.
It’d been a hard fought battle for her to agree to come with her sister to Pride, but she didn’t have anything else to do, and because of Anya’s need to be an overachiever, something they both ascribed to genetics, she was going to be doing an internship and leaving soon enough, thus cutting their summer together incredibly short. The guilt and her sister’s incessant need to prove a point brought them downtown for the day, and Lexa was almost okay with it.
“I knew you would like it,” Anya gloated, dancing around with her sister in the pulsating group of bodies at the concert in the park.
“Is it always like this?”
A gaggle of scantily-clad men moved through in nothing but speedos and suspenders, and Lexa let one of them grab her and twirl her around. The entire day, she’d been absolutely adored and adoring of everyone around her. An inundation of love and support was enough to make her unsure of how to go back to real life.
Her sister watched as Lexa danced, hands up, smiling wide and overjoyed. She enjoyed the fact that her sister came out to her and she could actually do something about it. Though straight, Anya spent her first two years of college taking a crash course in gay when her random roommate was a very out and very proud girl who liked to use Anya as a wngman. She was incredibly helpful in coming up with things to help Lexa feel normal and supported, and Anya was going ot be the best big sister possible. She was that type A.
“Pride is always like this,” Anya promised. “And you get to be super gay anytime you want. Isn’t that great?”
“You’re worse than mom and dad. They’re like oddly proud to have a gay kid.”
“Nah, just because you’re you.”
“Shut up,” Lexa rolled her eyes and moved, wiggling around, goofy and carefree.
For the entire day, the sisters moved through the crowds, checking out vendors, eating delicious food, listening to speakers, and got decked out in glowing necklaces and rainbows painted on their faces. It was exhausting to be so gay, but Lexa finally understood what she’d been missing in her fear of joining the GSA, and her fear of being out at school. She hadn’t thought about how wonderful it would be to not have to worry about hiding, or at least, not actively living.
“Thank you,” Lexa offered, as the pair stood on the side of the road for the parade. She hugged her sister as the sun began to set between the tall buildings. “This has been the best day of my life.”
“You’re a sap.”
“I am not.”
“You are.”
“I’m not,” she smiled and danced around, her sister not used to such a carefree girl in front of her. “I’m just super gay-- Oops, I’m so sorr--”
Lexa stopped moving after bumping into someone behind her, not paying attention and living her life too widely and too queerly for such a confined area. She gaped and stared at the body she bumped into, more mortified than she’d been in her entire life.
The body came attached to a pretty face. A familiar face. A face with bright blue eyes, and a mischievous grin and a messy bunch of wavy blonde hair. A face that had a tongue ring. A face that was attached to the girl who protested the Sadie Hawkins dance, the pep rally, and last year single handedly turned the swimming pool pink for women’s history month.This was the same face that Lexa couldn’t help but stare at anytime she walked by in the halls at school. This was the face that didn’t even know she existed.
Clarke Griffin stared back in equal parts amazement at the girl who did the bumping. In all of her wildest dreams, she never imagined Lexa Woods, class president, Academic Decathlon team captain, Student of the Quarter, perfect attendance-winning, overall adorable nerd, would be standing next to her at Pride. And not just standing-- dancing, covered in rainbows, and smiling in something other than a primly put together button up shirt with a schedule strapped to her chest.
“Clarke,” Lexa gulped, unable to say anything else, unable to hide her fear and confusion. “I-I-I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bump into you. I was just… um… ”
“It’s okay. Kind of close quarters and you were just being super queer,” she returned gracefully as she eyed the entire being of Lexa on summer break. “I didn’t think I’d run into anyone here. I thought everyone left for summer.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I’m always recruiting people for my zine. Intersectional politics and good music with a queer tint. Honestly, it’s whatever anyone submits. We set up a tiny booth,” Clarke explained, rambling slightly. “And I’m kind of gay.”
“Kind of?”
This was incredibly new and important news to Lexa, even if she didn’t know what to do with it.The entire school knew that Clarke ran with the same crowd, a crowd Lexa didn’t know anything about other than idle gossip. And it always looked like she was very close to Bellamy Blake. Romantically close.
“Bi.”
“You have to go?”
“No-- no… I’m bisexual.”
Lexa felt her face burn and she wanted to melt into a puddle, right there in the early June evening. Maybe disappear into the sewer and wash away into the sea for the rest of time. But she didn’t. Instead, she just stood there, in front of the biggest badass tough guy hot girl she’s ever seen in her entire life.
It was the longest they’d ever spoken, and she’d ruined it in under three minutes after learning that Clarke was gay-ish.
“That’s cool,” she finally managed, earning a small smile.
Clarke pushed some hair away from her face and scratched her neck, using the pause to look at Lexa’s legs. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t try too much.
“Is this your first Pride?”
“Is it that obvious?” Lexa sighed, bashful at her display.
“No, you look cute. I like the festiveness.”
That didn’t help anything at all. Lexa looked around for her sister who made herself busy talking to other people and not at all available to bail her out of saying anymore words.
“I’m gay,” Lexa finally blurted after a prolongued moment of silence.
“That’s cool.”
“Thanks.”
A shout reached them over the noise of the parade, and both looked in that direction.
“I have to um,” Clarke looked over her shoulder at the group that was calling her name. “I have to go catch up with my friends.”
“Right, yeah, definitely.”
“It was good to see you, Woods,” she grinned as she backed away. “I hope I get to bump into you again.”
“Right, yeah! Me, uh. Me too,” Lexa nodded.
With another wave, Clarke was gone, swept up by her friends as they moved through the crowd. Lexa caught the look that Clarke gave her over her shoulder and she smiled because she got a look back. It might not have meant anything, but it still felt kind of good.
“Your first Pride, and you’re getting chatted up by a grade A hottie. I’m impressed,” her sister slung her arm over her shoulder.
“That was just a girl from school.”
“She was not what I pictured for your type.”
“I don’t-- I don’t have a type,” Lexa furrowed.
“Everyone does. It just so happens that yours seems to be punk baddies with probable daddy issues.”
“There’s no way you could know--”
“She was digging you too, by the way.”
“There’s no-- I don’t-- She wouldn’t-- That was-- No,” Lexa shook her head.
“Trust me. I’ve seen gay relief, and that girl was gay relieved you were gay.”
“That’s not a thing.”
“Don’t be mad because i have my ear to the ground in the gay community,” Anya shook her head. “I’ll have you know that Kaitlyn said I’d make a great lesbian.”
“Please let me die right here.”
XXXXXXXXXX
The library on Fourth Street was nearly always empty around the end of lunch time. It seemed to empty out come the hottest part of the day with the normal crowd of parents and kids looking to stay busy during the long summer hours came in for story time and craft projects.
With no particular impetus to move quickly, Lexa pushed her cart of returns through the aisles and rearranged any messy or disorganized stacks she found. But her head wasn’t particularly in it.
Instead, Lexa thought about Pride, and replayed the entire interaction with a certain mild degenerate who had a pretty smile, who called her cute, she realized, halfway through overanalyzing it again for the hundredth time. All she could wonder was if this is what having a crush felt? And if so, was it possible to have crush after just three minutes? Nothing really prepared her for this. How could it? He didn’t have time for a crush. She only had to focus and get into the school she wanted. And then she could be who she thought she might want to be.
“Hey Woods.”
Lexa stopped as she turned to the next aisle, only to find the exact subject of her internal debate. There was a book tucked into her elbow as she retracted an arm reached out to grab something on a top shelf. Lexa looked to her bare arms, and then to her hips where a flannel was tied, and only subtly hiding her short shorts and some of the long legs and Lexa was gay.
“I know it’s a library, but I’m sure you can talk a little bit,” Clarke smiled.
Sunglasses tucked and holding her hair up out of her face, the girl had a motorcycle helmet tucked into the same elbow as the book.
“Hey,” Lexa managed.
“You work here?”
“Yeah, just doing some little things, stacking, kids story time and stuff.”
“Sounds fun,” Clarke nodded. She leaned against the shelf behind her and watched Lexa push her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. This was the Lexa she was used to seeing, and it did nothing to make her less interested, which was insanely weird.
“Here for anything good?”
“Uh, just some of the summer reading for Lit. And I’m kind of interested in a few SAT practice books. I took it already, but there’s one more that I can take before applications are due, and I’d like to see if I can do a little better.”
It certainly wasn’t the reason Lexa expected, but she should have known better to expect anything from someone she really didn’t know other than through stories of stories of stories from other people.
“Sounds like you have a busy summer planned.”
Clarke laughed and ducked her head and Lexa tried not to be entranced by the action.
“Have to keep busy between the protests and debauchery.”
“Right, same.”
“Everyone kind of left for the summer, it seems. It’s kind of nice, isn’t it?”
“I was thinking the same thing,” Lexa agreed. “I miss my friends, but I’ve gotten a lot of things done.”
“I’m sure you’re already done with the summer homework.”
“No… well, just most of it.”
“We’re two weeks into summer break, Woods,” Clarke pretended to admonish. Lexa shrugged, slightly guilty. “We’re going to have to find something to keep you busy.”
“I think work will take care of that.”
“You’re forgetting that I saw you at Pride. I know that you know how to have fun,” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows slightly. “And I know that you find me absolutely irresistible and cute.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“So you admit it then?”
“What? No,” Lexa shook her head and pushed her cart down the row, looking for the place to put the next in her pile.
But Clarke wasn’t ready to leave, and she hung around, pushing off of the shelf only to follow Lexa and hover closer than Lexa could almost handle.
“You checked me out at Pride.”
“I did not.”
“You did. I saw it. And you let me know you were interested in girls. If you didn’t know yet, I’m a girl, so the math seems to be adding up.”
“Correlation does not imply causation,” Lexa responded quickly. “Your logic is not at all close to sound.”
“So you don’t like me?”
“I don’t even know you. If anything, I just find your face and,” Lexa moved her hand in Clarke’s direction, “that, all, pleasing.”
“Good to know.”
“Who even walks around telling people that they find them attractive. It’s maddening to have that much confidence.”
Lexa jammed the book into the shelf as Clarke leaned beside her, grinning that grin that meant she was amused. That was also maddening. All of it suddenly was maddening, and Lexa missed the quiet of her shelves and wished she could go back in time and not let herself go to Pride. Then she wouldn’t have to see Clarke Griffin.
“I like to have a healthy opinion of myself.” Lexa snorted. “And you should have one of yourself. Want to know a secret?”
It was the smile that did it. And the eyes. But Lexa looked at Clarke and softened somewhat. It was due to the proximity, she told herself. Nothing else that she could control.
“Sure.”
“I didn’t really need these books,” Clarke offered. “I mean, I could have just ordered them online like a normal person. And I live closer to the Redwood Branch.”
“Then why’d you come here?”
“Hard to imagine you’re the valedictorian,” she chuckled. “I came to see you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. I saw you at Pride and was intrigued. Thought I might feel it out a little bit.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Why not, Woods?” Clarke sighed. “I’ve got nothing but time and… well, I didn’t know you were into girls.”
“How can you be so just… How can you just say what you’re thinking?”
“Lots of practice,” she smiled.
“I could never imagine just… just… just…” Lexa waved her hands around slightly as she tried to explain what she couldn’t. “I couldn’t just do that. What if it went badly?”
“Is it going badly?”
“No, but-- wait. Maybe. What I mean is…” It didn’t help that Clarke was leaning closer and Lexa was stuck in the stacks with a girl that was flirting with her and she’d never had that before and it was way better than she could have ever imagined. “Wouldn’t ou have been embarrassed if I just ignored you or something?”
“Oh yeah, big time,” Clarke nodded. “But my dad used to tell me to do one thing every day that scared me. Figured I’d get it done before dinnertime today.”
She was charming and honest and refreshing and unlike anyone Lexa had ever met. It was a whirlwind.
“I have to finish this before my shift ends,” she tore her eyes away from Clarke’s and looked back at her cart.
“Right, yeah, definitely,” Clarke agreed.
“I should do that.”
“I should go check these out.”
“Maybe I’ll see you around this summer.”
“Yeah,” Clarke grinned. “Maybe.”
Lexa stood there as Clarke turned back toward reception.
“Clarke-- I um,” Lexa watched as she turned around. “I’ve never flirted… with anyone, really.”
“That is surprising news.”
She could tell from her tone that it wasn’t news, and Lexa pursed her lips and set her jaw. She stood a little straighter, steeling herself.
“I hope I see you around.”
“We do seem to keep running into each other.”
With a final smile, Clarke winked and disappeared.
XXXXXXXXXX
Standing outside of the house on the corner, Clarke looked at the perfectly trimmed hedges and the flag that hung by the door. The lawn was manicured and neat, the house was beautiful, lit up and glowing with life inside in the waning light. It was in the suburbs and insanely suburban. A tire swing hung from a giant oak. A basketball hoop hung over the garage.
For the life of her, Clarke wasn’t sure how she ended up here, except that she made herself stand awkwardly in front of Lexa Wood’s house. Three years ago, she met Lexa as a freshman, and instantly had a crush on the girl who argued with her in history class. But Clarke also decided to avoid having a crush on the cute girl who pushed up her glasses and tried very hard to be absolutely perfect.
She still kind of always had a crush, despite her refusal to admit it. For the past three years, Clarke tried to make Lexa smile from time to time. She’d do something stuipd and make sure Lexa was watching.
But Pride was one of the few times in the past year they’d spoken. And Clarke was certain that now was her chance, so she took it. And after the library, she spent every day for a week and a half showing up at the library. She brought Lexa lunch a few times, followed her around the stacks, chatting and fully developing a crush. It was easy to do. Lexa was funny, and serious, and witty, and quiet, and smart, like ridiculously smart, and she wasn’t afraid of Clarke, or intimidated. She debated her with vigor, had opinions, had plans, and more importantly, had dreams.
Clarke knew why she was standing on Lexa’s front porch, and she knew why she was slightly nervous to knock, she just hated someone being able to do that, in equal parts as much as she craved it.
She took a deep breath and reminded herself that this was good before she knocked.
“Hey,” Lexa greeted her, smiling and pushing up her glasses as she does her best to not look winded from running to the door.
“Hey,” Clarke sighs, matching her grin, forgetting all of the thoughts of before. “You look really nice.”
“Thanks. I, uh, you too. I like the black eye in particular.”
“Oh, this?” she motioned toward the eye that had a little bruising. “Just, um. Bopped myself in the face while working out.”
“What were you doing? Boxing?”
“Krav Maga. My partner got a little overzealous.”
“Goodness.”
“I’ll try to be extra charming to make up for my disfigurement. I hope your gentle eyes can make it past my horrible appearance.”
“I’ll do my best to look past it.”
“Good,” Clarke smiled and handed over a helmet. “Are you ready for the first date?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
They walked toward the motorcycle sitting near the curb. Clarke pressed her palm to the flat of Lexa’s back. She handed over a helmet and Lexa looked at it curiously.
“For your protection. Have you ever ridden on anything like this before?”
“I’ve driven go karts.”
“Not the same thing,” Clarke chuckled. “Here, I’ll help.”
The helmet eclipsed her, but Lexa tilted it upwards so that Clarke’s skilled fingers could tighten the strap beneath it. She lifted the visor and watched Clarke work.
“I feel like a badass.”
“You are.”
“Do I look the part?” Lexa asked, smiling slightly as Clarke hopped on the motorcycle and put on her own helmet.
“Very much,” she promised, flipping down both of their visors. “Hold on tight.”
The date wasn’t anything fancy, but Clarke was hoping it was enough. They drove to the park, with Lexa’s arms wrapped tightly around her, and she took the long way, nice and slow, just for that reason.
The park was busy, fully of people ready to enjoy the evening and a movie. Clarke unloaded a blanket and her backpack full of snacks, fully prepared to show off her dateable skills. From what she knew about Lexa, she assumed it was her first first date, and she was going to set the bar extremely high.
Before the movie started, they talked about nothing in particular, and Clarke was careful to get in a little teasing, which Lexa returned, smiling the entire time, challenging her. During the movie, Clarke let Lexa lay her head on her lap, and shivered because she gave her the only sweatshirt she had.
Even after it ended, they remained, hanging out in the twilight and talking, hovering, close and unsure and happy. Later into the night, after another trip back to Lexa’s, Clarke bashfully stood on the porch and earned a hug and completely bungled the kiss, unable to read Lexa and unable to make herself that brave.
“Did you have a good time?” Clarke ventured, leaning against the railing.
“I really did. Thank you.”
“Maybe we could do it again sometime.”
“I’d like that.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
“Great,” Clarke grinned.
“Great.”
XXXXXXXXXX
It was almost like a game at this point, for Lexa to stumble upon Clarke somewhere in the library during her shift. Rarely was it in the same place twice, and rarely was it when she was expecting it, though she found herself always looking forward to the smile and girl that sometimes brought her snacks.
For the first month of summer break, Lexa didn’t even realize she’d spent most of it talking to or spending time with Clarke Griffin. It just kind of happened, and she found herself getting attached. She found herself flirting, or so she thought. She definitely found herself flirted with, which was still so wonderful.
Clarke wasn’t what she’d thought. She was insanely frustrating and still too hot for her own good, and smarter than she wanted anyone to know, while at the same time being absolutely addicted to her moral code and her’s alone.
In a month, Lexa learned that Clarke was not in a gang, despite everyone thinking it was a gang, but rather had a close knit group of friends that occasionally contributed to shenanigans of a disruptive nature. She learned that she was a hell of an artist, sketching things here and there, and when they ventured out on a hike or spent time lounging around, showed her sketchbook very timidly. She learned that Clarke’s father died three years ago, and that was where she disappeared to freshman year. She learned that Clarke liked to work on her motorcycle herself instead of taking to a shop because she wanted to feel closer to her father. Lexa spent an entire afternoon learning parts of the bike and helping with an oil change.
For an entire month, Clarke pushed Lexa. She pushed her to go on dates. She pushed her to jump off of the old bridge foundation at the river when they went swimming. She pushed her to watch a few movies she wasn’t sure of. She pushed her to egg street signs for the first time ever.
“Excuse me, but I’m looking for a book about a cute librarian who has a crush on a girl named Clarke. Know where I can find that?”
Lexa smiled despite herself as she turned the corner in one of the farther aisles in the library’s second floor.
“I was just thinking about you.”
“All good things I hope.”
“More or less.”
That seemed like good enough for Clarke who returned Lexa’s smile. The two stood there, close in the tight aisle, but used to the proximity.
“I was wondering if you’d like to come over tonight. We could watch a movie and you could read my essay and give a million edit suggestions. I’ll even let you use your red pen.”
“It shows up better.”
“Yeah yeah,” Clarke humored her.
“I’ll be over after dinner then.”
“Good.”
“Were you leaving already?” Lexa furrowed as Clarke shoulder her backpack and shifted instead of getting comfortable or even grabbing some of the books to help her put back on the shelves.
“I have to see a guy about a thing.”
“Just a drive by today, and no snack?”
“Like I would ever leave you wanting,” Clarke tsk’d as she dug in her bag and pulled out Lexa’s favorite assortment of gummy bears. “I know what you like, Woods.”
“You’re spoiling me. I’ll have to start working out more often or I’ll be too slow for track.”
“You’re fit. I mean, you’re--”
“Perv.”
“Sometimes,” Clarke shrugged.
Lexa held her bag of snacks in her hand and smiled at them softly. She saw Clarke’s shoes nearly touching her own, and when she looked up, she realized how close they truly were. But she didn’t move. She just stood there and tried to figure out what Clarke’s eyes were saying, because they were furrowed until they weren’t, and then there was a peace there, a decisive calm.
Lexa felt a hand on her shirt, grasping it near her heartbeat. Clarke paused before she did it, waiting for Lexa to pull away, asking for permission. Only when she got it, did she lean forward and kiss Lexa enough to take her breath away. The only thing Lexa could hear was the blood thumping in her ears, but she ignored it and kissed Clarke back eagerly.
“Thanks, Woods,” Clarke murmured after a few seconds. “I needed that.”
“Yeah, no, yeah.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“Right, later, mhm,” Lexa nodded and ran her thumb along her bottom lip as Clarke moved, leaving her rooted and blushing.
“If you liked that, we could do it more often,” Clarke offered as she walked backward out of the shelves.
“Sounds very good to me.”
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Chasing Butterflies: Twilight’s Last Gleaming
Hello all! As always constructive criticism is appreciated and I hope you enjoy the chapter. Please let me know if your have any imagine requests or want to be added to any of my taglists.
Season 1; Episode 5: Twilight’s Last Gleaming Pairings: OC x OC best friends, no love interests chosen yet Warnings: Swearing and mild violence Word Count: 2,265
Season 1 Masterlist
"E! Nova! You guys gotta get up and see this!" Harper calls as she walks into the girls tent. She moves to shake Elara awake and turns to check that Nova is up when Elara blinks her eyes open. "Come on!" She says once more leaving the tent.
Elara and Nova share a look but stand up following Elara's old cellmate out of their tent. Elara stands with just a singlet and underwear and Nova in a sports bra and pants. Upon exiting the tent they see the rest of the delinquents looking up at something in the sky.
They follow their gazes to see a pod from the ark falling to Earth. "They're coming to help us. Now we can kick some grounder ass." Jones says from the girls left.
The rest of the delinquents cheer. Nova rolls her eyes as she hears Roma mutter, "Please tell me they brought some shampoo."
"I hope they sent weapons." Nova says.
"And medical supplies and warmer clothes." Elara adds.
Nova turns on her heel, heading back inside the tent. She throws on a shirt and her jacket then starts packing a small bag. A few minutes later Elara joins her back inside, "We're going, right?" Elara asks.
"I am. And I'll bring some others. You should stay behind though." Nova replies.
"What? Why?"
"I don't know where Clarke is right now. You need to stay here since you have medical experience."
Elara sighs, "Fine. Just be safe."
"Always am."
This comment makes Elara raise an eyebrow at the petite girl, "Please. Don't make me laugh." Nova smirks then walks past her and out of the tent.
"Octavia! Ready?" Nova calls.
Octavia nods, "Yeah, we just have to get Bellamy." Nova follows Octavia into the tent used for setting up plans, "We should get moving. Everyone's ready."
"No one's going anywhere. Not while it's dark it isn't safe. We'll head out at first light; pass the word." Bellamy answers.
"You aren't the boss of me in case you’ve forgotten. I'm going whether you like it or not." Nova snaps at the older boy.
"Can you please listen for once in your life." Bellamy sighs.
Octavia answers before Nova can argue, "Everyone for a hundred miles saw this thing come down. What if the grounders get to it first? Bell, we should go now."
"I said we wait till sunrise." He says once more.
Octavia huffs and leaves the tent, "I'm going. I don't care if I go alone. No grounder is going to get me. And you can't make me stay." Nova says. She turns on her heel to leave but Bellamy grabs her arm, stopping her.
"Nova, I'm serious. I don't want you getting hurt."
Nova carefully looks at Bellamy, "If you keep acting like that I'm going to start thinking you care about me, Blake."
Bellamy cracks a smile, "Maybe I do, angel."
"Well you know I can fight. A grounder doesn't have a chance against me. And if you're that concerned, come with me."
"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"
Nova tilts her head and smirks, "What made you think that?"
Bellamy rolls his eyes and finally let's go of her arm. "So, are you coming with me?" Nova asks.
Bellamy sighs, "Sorry for this, Nova." Nova opens her mouth to ask what he means but before any words leave her mouth Bellamy hits her over her head with a heavy stick, knocking her out.
Nova slumps over, Bellamy catching her before she hits the ground. He gently lays her down and walks past her out the tent, getting ready to leave the camp without anyone else's knowledge.
Outside of the tent Elara made herself busy talking with some of the other delinquents. After about 15 minutes Elara looks around, a concerned look plastered on her face. "Have any of you seen Nova?"
The delinquents around her shake their heads, "She probably left." Atlas says.
Elara turns her head to look at her ex-boyfriend. "Bellamy said to wait until sunrise."
"Like she would listen to him. Come on, Elara. You're her best friend. Don't you know her better than that?"
Elara rolls her eyes, "Did anyone see her leave?"
"I didn't."
"Then help me look for her. If she's not here then you're probably right."
This time Atlas rolls his eyes, but rather than arguing he turns around to start looking for Nova. Not thinking that he would actually find her, he pushes open the tent that they use to discuss plans. His eyes immediately find the petite girl.
He sticks his head out of the tent, "Elara! I found her!" He yells for the brunette. Hearing his calls she quickly runs out of the dropship and to the tent. She rushes over to Nova and gently shakes her awake.
Atlas stands over her shoulder, watching the interaction. "Nov? Nova, wake up." Elara quietly says.
Nova finally wakes up groaning and raising her hand to the side of her head. "I'm going to kill Bellamy." She grunts out.
"What? What did he do?" Elara asks.
"He fucking knocked me out. What a piece of shit."
Nova pushes herself off the ground, almost making herself lose her balance. "Be careful! You might have a concussion!"
"I'll be fine once I kill him."
"Nova Marie Kane!" Elara scolds.
Nova looks at her shocked, "Did you just mom me?" Elara glares, "Sorry, not funny. But seriously I feel fine. Just incredibly pissed off. Can I please go find Bellamy so I can kill him now?"
Without waiting for a reply Nova pushes past Elara and Atlas. She walks outside the tent at the same time that Clarke and Finn enter the camp. "Did you guys see that? You know it's from the Ark, right? It has to be." Fox tells the two delinquents.
"Grab your stuff. Let's find out." Clarke replies.
"Bellamy said we're gonna wait until sunrise." Fox says.
"Where is he?" Clarke asks, starting to walk towards his tent.
"Don't bother. He already left. Let's go." Nova says. She angrily walks past delinquents, who are literally jumping out of her way. She exits the camp, Clarke and Finn on her heels.
"What do you mean? How do you know he already left?" Finn asks.
"Because the asshole knocked me out so I didn't leave. Whatever is in that pod he wants bad. And he has a head start."
*_*_*_*_*_*
Just as the sun begins to rise, the trio of delinquents arrive at the area where the pod landed. "Should we split up?" Clarke asks.
"Yeah. You go that way, Clarke." Finn says, gesturing to the left. "You can check that way." He gestures to the right.
Nova and Clarke nod, "Stay within yelling distance." Nova says, walking away from the other two.
After wandering aimlessly for a few minutes Nova turns around to head back the way she came. She makes it to the pod just in time to see a girl kissing Finn. "Well, that's one way to greet someone." Nova says.
Nova looks towards Clarke, seeing that Clarke looks rather annoyed. Her attention is brought back to Finn and the girl when Finn asks, "How did you get here?"
"You know that big scraphold? The one on K deck?" She answers.
"You built that from scrap?"
"I kind of rebuilt it." Finn laughs in response.
"You're insane." He says with a shake of his head.
"I'd do more for you and worse. Just like you would for me." She staggers into Finn's arms.
"Come on, sit down." Finn says. He leads her over to a rock and takes his jacket off to put around her.
Clarke and Nova finally walk over to the couple, "You need to put pressure on her wound." Clarke says, handing Finn an ice pack.
"Thanks," The girl says.
"This is Clarke and Nova. They were on the dropship too. This is Raven." Finn introduces.
"Clarke? This was all because of your mom."
"My mom?" Clarke asks, shock evident in her voice.
"This was all her plan. We were trying to come down here together. If we waited-" She cuts herself off, "Oh my God. We couldn't wait because the council was voting whether to kill three hundred people to save air."
"When?" Clarke asks in a panic.
"Today. We have to tell them you're alive." We all move back to the pod. Raven reaches inside, "The radio's gone." She says, moving back to face the other three.
"That jackass." Nova curses. She squeezes her hand into a fist and punches the pod. She hisses in pain as the sensitive skin on her knuckles comes into contact with the metal.
Clarke reaches over to Nova in concern but Nova pushes her away, "I'm fine. We have to head back. We need to find him."
*_*_*_*_*_*
Spotting Bellamy, Nova quickly runs over and punches the older boy across the face. She shoves him against a tree and pulls out her knife, holding it against his neck, "I should kill you." She hisses out, glaring.
Bellamy glares back but doesn't say anything, knowing that he deserves this. "Where the hell is it Bellamy?" Clarke asks from behind Nova.
"Where's what?" He questions, playing dumb.
"They're getting ready to kill three hundred people up there to save oxygen, and I can guarantee you it won't be council members. It'll be working people, your people."
"Where's the radio?" Finn asks.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Bellamy says once more.
"Stop playing dumb Blake." Nova says through clenched teeth.
"Blake? Bellamy Blake? They're looking everywhere for you." Raven says.
Nova turns her head to look at the girl but doesn't stop pressing her knife to his throat. "Why are they looking for him?" Clarke asks.
"Shut up." Bellamy grunts out.
"He shot Chancellor Jaha." Raven replies.
"That's why you took the wristbands. Needed everyone to think we're dead." Clarke says.
"All that whatever the hell we want? You just care about saving your own skin." Finn glares at Bellamy.
Nova scoffs and finally backs away, shaking her head. "Where the hell is the radio Bellamy?" She asks.
Bellamy rolls his eyes," Jaha deserved to die. You all know that."
"Yeah, he's not my favorite person either, but he isn't dead." Raven replies.
"What?"
"You're a lousy shot."
Clarke steps closer to Bellamy, "Bellamy, don't you see what this means? You're not a murderer. You always did what you had to do to protect your sister. That's who you are. And you can do it again by protecting three hundred of your people. Where's the radio?"
Bellamy hesitates, then sighs, "It's too late."
*_*_*_*_*_*_*
After regrouping at the camp and bringing more delinquents out to help look for the radio, the group stood in the river where Bellamy threw the radio.
Bellamy moves towards Elara, "It's going to take a long time for Nova to forgive me, isn't it?" He asks.
Elara looks at him, "Why does that matter to you?"
Bellamy shrugs, "I don't know. I guess it was kinda nice with her not hating me all the time. But I fucked up big time."
"Yeah, you did."
"Are you mad at me?"
"Yes. But I don't hold grudges. I know you did it to protect Octavia."
Bellamy nods, "Hey! I found it!" Jones calls bringing Elara and Bellamy's attention away from each other.
They all run over, "Can you fix it?" Clarke asks Raven.
"Maybe, but it'll take half the day just to dry out the components to see what's broken." Raven answers.
"Like I said, it's too late." Bellamy replies.
Clarke marches up to Bellamy and shoves his chest, "Do you have any idea what you did? Do you even care?"
"You asked me to help. I helped."
"Is there any other way we can let them know that we're alive?" Nova asks, stopping any arguing.
"You mean without a radio?" Finn asks.
"Yeah, I have an idea." Raven replies, smiling brightly at Nova. "You're a genius."
Nova shrugs, "I've been called a lot of things but never a genius." She then flashes one of her rare smiles, "I like it."
Elara can't help the laugh that escapes her lips.
*_*_*_*_*_*
As night falls, the group of delinquents get ready to launch flares. The group quickly gets everything set up and lights the flares. The rockets blast off, the delinquents all looking up at them in awe.
Clarke, Bellamy, Elara, and Nova stand next to each other watching the rockets light up the sky. "You think they can see it from up there?" Bellamy asks the girls.
"I don't know. I hope so." Clarke replies.
"Well, we'll find out soon enough." Nova says.
"Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?" Clarke asks. The three others turn to give her questioning looks, "Forget it."
They turn their heads back to the flares, "I wouldn't even know what to wish for. What about you?" Bellamy questions.
"I would wish for my parents to be here with me." Elara says.
Nova hums, "I would want to go back in time."
"For what?" Bellamy asks.
"So that I never went to councilman Abraham's place."
"Didn't he die from a heart attack?" Elara asks.
"Nope. He's the guy I killed."
"Didn't you say he deserved it though? Why would you want to stop yourself from killing him?"
Nova shakes her head, "That’s not what I- Forget it. It’s not important.”
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The 100: 7x10 A Little Sacrifice
After The Flock - the show’s weakest episode in a long time - and an unfortunate hiatus after that episode, A Little Sacrifice helped get season 7 back on track. It’s one of the best episodes of the season: it was exciting, things finally happened - a lot, we got a big revelation about what the endgame is likely to be all about, there were fights, an attempted mass murder/genocide (what would a season of The 100 be without those?), some really good character work, and the first major death of the season.
Yes, Charmaine Diyoza was not a main character. but after being introduced as a villain in season 5, she has grown into one of the most memorable and interesting characters on the show - in large part due to Ivana Miličević’s charismatic performance - with a complex and morally ambiguous characterization and backstory (which I really hope to maybe learn more about one day in the prequel flashbacks? Please?). She has been one of my favorite characters since season 5, and I loved her development and her relationship with Octavia, her mother/daughter relationship between her and Hope, her past fights to protect “expendable” prisoners and her S7 attempts to find peace and renounce violence, and hope (!) that at least her daughter will get to have a different and better life where she wouldn’t need to resort to it. She became a (not so little) sacrifice for the better future we saw her dreaming of in season 5 in that conversation with Kane - maybe that dream is something we will see the new generations live in the series finale?
The one thing I wasn’t too happy about (I was OK with the lack of Bellamy cliffhanger since we got him in the promo for 7x11 right afterwards) was that Clarke did not have any more screentime than in the other recent episodes. But, especially on rewatch, she had some great subtle little moments.
You know what is not subtle? Sheidheda. He’s finding new ways to be completely OTT. This time he can finally stop pretending to be Russell, so he gets a makeover, more in tune with the...interesting Grounder fashion styles, chews the scenery even more, and then - thanks to Madi - he loses an eye (just as he did during his original lifetime), getting closer to his season 6 Emperor-like look, though he’s missing a cloak this time. He also doesn’t have enough facial hair to twirl his moustache, but he actually hisses at one point. This part of the episode was, this time, really fun and intense, including a really good fight scene and some really emotional and important moments for Indra, Madi and Murphy, but doesn’t need much analysis and doesn’t require attention on rewatch.
I’m still not sure how/if these two storylines will connect. But I can see a thematic connection of sorts: Sheidheda is the embodiment of the worst parts of the Grounder culture, with the worship of violence and power and killing all those who oppose you; and not just that - he’s all egotism taken to the extreme, the kind of “wild beast” as Anders would despise, but in this case, he would actually have good reasons to. On the other hand, we have the Disciples with their sterile white rooms, order and the propaganda of the abnegation of self in the favor of the collective, and dreaming of “transcendence” instead of trying to get back to the “old ways”. But they really come off as two sides of the same coin: both ideologies are about worship of and subjugation to a leader, both believe violence is the solution, and both are against love and see it as a danger.
Brand new opening titles - these opens start with a shot of Sanctum and end with the Bardo Stone Room with the Anomaly Stone - and guess what makes a cameo near the end of the credits? That’s right, Earth. I was starting to think that any return to Earth won’t happen, but now I’m not so sure.
Sanctum
The episode opens with the immediate aftermath of Shady’s massacre of the Faithful. We see Madi’s friend Rex (that’s his name according to the credits) - the Sanctum boy who offered Madi’s other friend, the null boy, to play soccer - mourning someone, probably his mother. This scene had to be there so we’d feel some sympathy and sadness over the deaths of the Faithful rather than just be relieved they’re (mostly) gone. One of the wounded ones is Jeremiah, the same guy who developed deep gratitude for Murphy for saving his son. Although the Faithful have been very annoying, I do feel a tinge of sympathy for this guy, who’s so clueless that he never understood he had any agency in what happened to his son and seemed really convinced it was all about the will of the “gods”. He now asks Murphy to take care of his son when he dies, but Murphy insists he will not let Jeremiah die. (Trey, the annoying a-hole who was brainwashing Jordan, and used to act as the leader of the Faithful, is credited in the episode but I didn’t see him anywhere - so I have no idea if he’s among the dead, or he survived and was in a deleted scene.)
Madi has a really nice mini arc in this episode. She already had PTSD from her experience and possession by Sheidheda in season 6, so she is absolutely terrified when she learns he is back, and when he threatens her in a really creepy way. Excellent acting by Lola. Later, after being comforted by Murphy and joining the survivors,she shows strength in comforting Rex for his loss; and in the end, overcomes her fears and risks her life to save Indra.
Not that it matters, but Sheidheda’s real name is Malachi. (I’m still gonna keep calling him Shady.) We learn that when he recites the lineage - the names and clans of all the previous Commanders, which we know from S3 is a Grounder custom for a new Commander to do. Of course, we only get to hear some of the names in the middle (a couple of random Commanders called Maffei kom Boudalankru - the Rock Line and Kemji kom Trishanakru) and the end, when he mentions Lexa and Madi. The show wasn’t going to spoil the prequel by revealing the names of early Commanders,
The fight itself was really intense and maybe the best Grounder-style duel in the show (yes, I prefer it to the 3x04 one, which involved too much showmanship to look as a real death match). Shady is obviously going to be there for a while and things aren’t going to get so easily resolved, so he wins and is about to kill Indra - who refuses to kneel to save her own life - but just as he’s about to kill her, Madi finds the courage to come as the Big Damn Hero at the crucial moment, pluck out Shady’s eye and save Indra’s life. But then as he is about to kill Madi, Indra decides to (metaphorically, since she’s lying and about to pass out) kneel in order to save Madi’s life. Indra’s arc with Shady has come full circle: this may finally make her understand her mother’s choice and realize she was unfair to her. She grew up blaming her mother for agreeing to kneel to Sheidheda and considering her “weak”. The battle had been lost, her father was already dead, and her mother made the best possible decision and wasn’t just saving herself but her daughter, too. Otherwise, as we see in this episode, Shady would have ordered the daughter to be killed, too, after the mother - as he thinks children of the people he killed should also be eliminated so they couldn’t pose a threat and seek revenge.
That last order even shocked Knight, who may be having some second thoughts about the awesomeness of “Sangedakru’s greatest champion” (but this doesn’t mean he won’t keep obeying him). Penn and the other Trikru guy we know, who are loyal to Indra, reluctantly knelt when Indra asked them to.
Madi, Rex and the other Faithful (including Jeremiah, who has indeed survived) have gone into hiding with Murphy and Emori - and hiding at the abandoned reactor. We didn’t see Jackson, but i’m sure he’s there. (Sachin is a guest star and must skip some episodes he’s not really needed in.) So now we’re finally reached the part of this storyline where Shady is in power and our heroes are the resistance. And Murphy is now, with Emori, a part of a power couple protecting these people and taking care of them (who would’ve expected that back in season 1?) - much like we’ve seen Clarke and Bellamy do over the seasons - even though most of the same people resented them for being fake Primes just a few hours earlier. Maybe they’re finally starting to get a clue and feel respect and gratitude to people who are trying to save them just because it’s a decent humane thing to do, rather than for being self-proclaimed “gods” who participated in their murder, oppression and exploitation.
Bardo
After 4 episodes, Clarke, Raven and Miller finally left the Stone Room! Yay! Jordan and Niylah stayed in it, and as it turns out, Jordan has a much more important and interesting role to play by reading the Anomaly Stone, while Niylah’s role in S7 has been to be exposition machine for Grounder history and have bad one-liners while Miller has the good ones. I’m glad there was no prolonged “OMG are they really brainwashed and on their side?” misunderstanding, as Clarke and the rest of the group, after learning about MCap from Gabriel, quickly realized that Octavia, Echo and Diyoza are only pretending, since they haven’t blown the secret that Clarke doesn’t have the Flame.
Speaking of one-liners, Miller’s “Get the flock out of here” really made me laugh out loud.
Callie is known as the Pramfleimkepa - the First Flamekeeper - which should mean she was never a Commander (I imagine that would supersede the position of the Flamekeeper or at least be as worthy of mention). I was afraid for a moment that Niylah had given the game away when she told Cadogan that - but fortunately, he didn’t understand what it meant, as he never knew that Becca called ALIE 2.0 “the Flame”.
Gabriel and Cadogan have a long conversation over dinner (or breakfast or lunch of whatever) about Earth before the bombs and Cadogan’s beliefs. The two of them are one of the few remaining humans who knew life before the apocalypse. (After Diyoza’s death in this episode, the only other people left from that time are the Eligius prisoners in Sanctum.) But while Cadogan is chronologically ‘older’ than Gabriel, as he was a Millennial, while Gabriel was born a couple of decades later, and because Cadogan has technically been alive for thousands of years on Bardo - Cadogan spent most of that time in cryo (same as Diyoza and the other prisoners). Gabriel is the real Old Man - at least 260 years old, having lived and experienced all those years. We learn a bit more about Gabriel’s background - that his family were from Colombia and his grandmother was poor, making him a “self-made man” - another contrast between him and the love of his life Josephine (which makes their season 6 parallel to Clarke/Bellamy even more perfect). Gabriel is the go-to-guy this season for having conversations about the worship of false gods and trying to challenge the Disciples’ beliefs. Cadogan, again, denies that he’s a cult leader (sure), reveals he doesn’t believe in God, and claims he doesn’t consider himself one (he sure doesn’t mind being treated like one, though). Instead, he claims his purpose is for everyone to “transcend” and become like gods - though he doesn’t really explain what that would consist of, and he also doesn’t offer any explanations as to why there is supposed to be a “Last War” and who the enemy in that was is supposed to be. Seven episodes have gone by with the characters talking to the Disciples, and no one has ever asked that question: who is the enemy? I guess they don’t even know that, they just think that, when they type in the code, they will learn who the enemy is and the war will begin, for... reasons? He also adds some BS about “this life” being unimportant compared to afterlife. (Now, to be clear - I actually do believe in the afterlife in general (though I don’t know in which form), but I really, really hate it when religions make the afterlife the focus and treat the life we actually know and are sure we have as less important, use it as an excuse to teach people to accept any sort of crap in their lives and not ask for more instead of living their lives to the fullest and trying to build something worthwhile in this life.) Gabriel is less than impressed with Cadogan, and challenges him by pointing out that “You can’t fight a war for the soul of the human race with an inhuman army” and that a life without love, individuality or freedom is pretty worthless, but Cadogan has the afterlife as a ready excuse, even though that doesn’t really answer the question.
The most important revelation that we finally get in this episode is that Cadogan has most likely mistranslated and completely misunderstood the ancient Bardoan text that he’s based his entire belief system on. And his mistake was in large part due to confirmation bias - he saw what he wanted to see, even though the idea of ending wars and violence by starting and fighting a war is absurd. (Niylah, for once, has a good line, when she points out that every major war is supposed to be the “last” but it never is.) Jordan’s interpretation - that it is really about a test that the species needs to pass - makes a lot more sense. Not a literal test - I really can’t imagine the show introducing some kind of godlike “higher beings” - but, I think, something that will require the characters to use all their strength and moral sense and all the experience they’ve had and wisdom they may have gained, to find the best solution to save the human race and rebuild the civilization, hopefully into something better (and it’s really not too hard being better than the mess of tribalism and constant wars and conflicts we’ve seen on the show). I don’t know what this will be, but the words “the orb becomes like a star” make me thing of a natural phenomenon.
It’s also cool that it was knowledge of the Korean language that helped Jordan decipher the text - proving how helpful it is to be familiar with multiple languages and cultures and how much it expands one’s way of thinking. Do Disciples speak any languages other than English? They seem to foster cultural uniformity, so probably not. (it’s also confirmed now that Monty was half-Korean on his father’s side - Chris Larkin is Korean, but the actress who played his mother, Donna Yamamoto, is Japanese, so I assume Monty is half-Japanese.)
If you doubted that 7x09 flashbacks were a waste of screentime, we get a confirmation early on that Echo has just been pretending to be loyal to the Disciples, while plotting revenge all the time, when she kills a Disciple and saves Hope from being sent to Skyring. This plot could have continued straight from 7x07, when Echo’s Azgeda ritual was strongly hinting that she’s out for revenge. (And yes, the writing in 7x09 was just that clunky as I feared - of course that Chekhov’s WMD that Levitt mentioned for no reason would be used in the very next episode for someone to try to kill all the Disciples in another Mount Weather parallel.)
A tiny bit of info about the Disciples - a Disciple addressed Hope as “Seeker Diyoza”. I don’t know if that’s a title for those trying to reach Level 1 or something else.
Hope, with her usual anger and impulsiveness, reminiscent of how Octavia used to be once, and her naive black and white views, is all for revenge-genocide, too, in spite of Octavia’s and Diyoza’s disagreement. Her mother tries to, again, teach her the lesson she tried to in 7x07, that she should turn to love instead of violence and killing (which carries a lot more weight when it comes from someone like Charmaine Diyoza rather than a hippy): “I know what it's like to kill innocent people for a cause, and I promise you, it's not gonna fill that hole in your heart. Only we can do that.” But Hope retorts that “There are no innocent people here”, echoing Nikki’s words to Nelson that “There are no innocent people at the end of the world”. It’s not that Hope doesn’t have a point that everyone in Bardo is a part of the society that’s been kidnapping and torturing her family and that stole her childhood, but collective responsibility is a concept that only works in terms of moral responsibility, not as an excuse to commit genocide because you’ve decided that everyone in the other group is evil and the “enemy” and deserves death. Some people have compared it to Maya saying “None of us is innocent”, but I don’t think this comparison works, because that line changes the meaning entirely depending on whether you are holding yourself and your society morally accountable for its failings and complicity in crimes against humanity, or if you’re using it against others, in order to justify hate and commit crimes against humanity.
Even though neither Clarke nor Octavia had huge screentime in this episode and may not have done anything big (like Diyoza sacrificing herself and saving everyone, or Jordan figuring everything out), they had some wonderful, subtle little moments that spoke volumes:
I loved the hug between Clarke and Octavia - where Clarke said her condolences to Octavia and then Octavia said them back, letting Clarke know she knew what Bellamy meant to her and that she is grieving just as much. (”I’m sorry, Octavia” - “So am I”)
Raven and Miller exchanged a wordless look - probably because of how awkward it was for Miller to see Octavia again. Although these 4 people all go back to season 1 (and it was the first time in a while they were in the same room), for Miller it’s been just a few weeks since she was Blodreina and he was her follower, and the last time they saw each other (in season 6), he yelled at her that he’s not following her orders anymore - which was about him struggling with his guilt and seeing her as an embodiment of it. But for Octavia, it’s been over 10 years and a huge character development, which Miller doesn’t know about. But they had no time to go over it - instead, she just hugged him and asked him to hug her back, and he did.
When the group went to find Levitt - still tied up and bloody after Echo had tortured him and killed two Disciples in front of him to force him to tell her about Gem9, the WMD that can destroy everyone on Bardo (he must be really traumatized one - Clarke obviously immediately realized what was going on when she saw Octavia come to check on Levitt, going by the look on her face, and her look when she turned to go and the others went after her, while Octavia was still there -as if saying "I realize you need a moment with this guy, but don't wait too long". Although Levitt looked disappointed and shocked that Octavia didn’t untie him, she was really doing what was the most reasonable way to try to protect everyone - the priority was to stop Echo from killing all the Disciples, which would include Levitt, but also to stop Levitt from alerting Anders, which he would’ve done, because Octavia also wanted to save Echo and her people. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t care for Levitt, but she’s not the 17 year old girl who’d go: “I just met you but you’re immediately the most important person to me and I’m going to prioritize you over everyone I know”.
And then we get to the final and most dramatic scene of the episode... Echo’s attempt to commit genocide out of revenge, while Octavia, Clarke and Raven tried to talk her down.
Octavia tried to reach Echo by, again, talking about their shared grief over Bellamy, as she did in 7x07, but again, it did not work - because Octavia and Echo, and Clarke and Echo, are different people, who grieve in different ways and think and act in different ways. It doesn’t mean that any of them are grieving more or less than another one - but their responses are very different. Octavia - this mature Octavia who is more able to empathize with others and doesn’t react with impulsive violence as she used to - responded by trying to reach out to others who were also grieving for Bellamy, Echo and Clarke, and validating their grief, too. Clarke reacted - after the initial shock and grief - by sucking it up, as she does, in order to take care of the others, and focusing on saving the people Bellamy loved, telling Raven “We do this for him” and focusing on saving Octavia and Echo. Echo, on the other hand, reacted destructively and violently and by killing people for revenge and then plotting genocide as revenge for 3 months. This is the only way she knows how to process grief - she’s never known a different way, as I’m sure Azgeda weren’t known for compassion and sharing feelings. When Bellamy was grieving Clarke in season 6, she asked him “When do we attack?”, because that’s what she expected him to do, too. She’s also lost because she hasn’t lost just a boyfriend, but a leader and anchor in her new post-Praimfaya life, and because she had made saving Bellamy her mission she was waiting to fulfill during the 5 years on Skyring. If she had carried out her plan, I’m not sure she’d know what to do with herself. (I don’t know what it says about the mindset of us, humans of 2020, that so many fans have decided that Echo’s way of grieving is the superior one and the one that shows that she loves Bellamy the best. It certainly doesn’t show anything good.)
Octavia’s next argument - that there are many good people on Bardo she’d be killing - was even less successful, as Echo threw her relationship with Levitt back in her face, pointing out that he stole her memories, talking of him as one of their enemies, and then even saying: "Way to honor your brother's memory!" Echo came off as very judgmental here, and more than bit hypocritical - after all , she personally almost killed Octavia twice, and Bellamy started trusting her and dating her on the Ring, after she had given them both far less reason to trust her than Levitt did. Levitt actually took a risk and was helping her against Anders just out of his feelings for Octavia, while Echo only helped Bellamy and others after she was exiled and had to in order to survive. She seems to value forgiveness only when it’s others forgiving her (”Who knows more about forgiveness than us?”), even though she never expected them to and was a bit shocked that they did.
Clarke then tried to use her standard “This is not who you are” plea, but it didn’t work with Echo, since Clarke doesn’t really know Echo, and the words felt empty. There really is very little reason for Clarke to think this is not who Echo is, except for her tendency to assume Echo must have changed for the better because she’s Bellamy’s girlfriend and Bellamy loves her (see their conversation in 5x12). Clarke also tried to use her own experience - as she did with Raven earlier in the season - telling Echo that “a choice like this” would haunt her forever (of course Clarke would bring up MW, it always goes back to MW for her), but Echo rejected that comparison and, for a moment, channeled me by pointing out that Clarke’s motivations were to save her people, while Echo’s are purely revenge. Which was, however, a strange argument in context - pointing out that Clarke’s reasons were much better and she had no choice but to kill all of the Mountain Men or let them kill all of her friends and family, while Echo wasn’t achieving anything good and could just save all her people and not take revenge on the Disciples. But Echo seemed to be telling Clarke that they different, and she cannot assume that Echo will feel the same way about mass murder Clarke does.
Then Clarke finally brought up Bellamy, pointing out that he would not want a genocide to be committed in his memory. I don’t know how anyone who’s watched the show for 6 seasons could disagree with Clarke. But Echo did. What’s more, she yelled "You have no idea what Bellamy wanted!" in a really angry, resentful way. It felt personal. I don’t know if Echo has felt romantic jealousy of Clarke over Bellamy - she has sure kept it close to her chest - but it certainly felt like some kind of possessiveness, like resenting the idea that Clarke was as close or closer to Bellamy and knew him better. In any case, this was a moment of extreme dramatic irony - because we know (and really, Echo should know as well) that Echo is the one who doesn’t seem to know, or is simply ignoring, what Bellamy would have wanted and who he was. And she should know. She was there when he talked down Riley from killing Roan, telling him “War made me a murderer, don’t let it do it to you too”, she was there when Bellamy refused to kill 283 prisoners in cryo sleep and said “Clarke didn’t die for us to go back and make the same mistakes”. And she was there when Bellamy was grieving Clarke but decided not to take revenge for her death - not even by killing the man who murdered her, Russell - but to try to honor her memory by doing what she would want and surviving and keeping their people alive. Which directly contradicts Echo’s statement that Bellamy would be doing the same she is if one of them (Clarke, Octavia or her) were killed. Does she really not know him? Most of the time they spent together were in a time of peace and boredom with just 7 people on the Ring. She seems to be projecting her own ideas and views and character into him.
Then Raven went on to agree with Clarke (but Echo did not resent her for saying it), pointing out how Bellamy has grown and changed and that the post-season 3 Bellamy certainly would never do that. I was slightly annoyed when she said that Bellamy of season 3 may do that - but to be fair, she did say, “maybe”. Now, season 1 or season 3 Bellamy was certainly angrier and more prone to black and white thinking when it came to enemies, and he may very well have agreed to kill all of the adult Disciples if he thought they were likely to be a threat to his people (which is what he did when he agreed to help Pike kill Lexa’s army), but he sure wouldn’t agree to kill any of them just for revenge, or to kill children and non-combatants (the one time he did it was MW, when he and Clarke knew there was no other way to protect their people from being horrifically killed, and he hated it and was haunted by it then). Nevertheless, that’s a minor thing as the point of Raven’s speech was the way Bellamy has grown and developed. Echo hasn’t really changed, certainly not as much as Bellamy wanted to think in S5. Is there still time for her to change?
In the end, love did save the day - but it wasn’t Echo’s love for Bellamy, it was her non-romantic love for Raven and Raven’s for her. Raven calling her a sister only helped pave the way - but she had to actually threaten to stay there and force Echo to choose between killing Raven and giving up her revenge, for Echo to finally stand down. The fact she did shows that maybe there’s still hope for her to change and give up revenge and violence for things like friendship.
But then Anders had to appear and ruin everything, He could have just tried to arrest the group, rather than threatening them and giving them speeches about how he despises them for being “beasts raised in the wild”. (I’ve wondered many times since 7x05 is Anders is supposed to be smart or a complete dumbass. He was definitely a dumbass.)
Diyoza took charge, as the most experienced and tactical one, and almost. And then Hope was again being her impulsive, angry, out of control self - Anders is always the person most likely to set her off - killing Anders (which I wouldn’t mind) but then also making her own attempt to commit genocide. (It’s funny that the four Disciples just froze and did nothing while all of that was happening.)
What happened then was both a heroic sacrifice and one of the best and most heroic death scenes on the show, a fitting ending for Charmaine Diyoza (even a visually beautiful death in a creepy way, as Diyoza turned into a crystal statue), with her final message to her daughter to be “better” than her in the future - and a heartbreaking loss for Hope, who has just been punished by the narrative/fate for her devotion to violence and hate and attempt at genocide, by causing her own mother’s death. She was obsessed with revenge for her lost childhood and the fact her mother was taken from her - instead of focusing on the future and what she still had. I’m sure that Hope will survive to the end of the series, and will have to question herself and change. She still has Aunty O to help her and be her family.
As we’re approaching the endgame, the show here made an obvious point about violence, hatred and revenge and having to give up those things - not for Anders’ unemotional duty to the collective, but for love and compassion/
Rating: 8.5/10
#the 100#the 100 7x10#a little sacrifice#the 100 season 7#charmaine diyoza#clarke griffin#octavia blake#gabriel santiago#jordan green#indra kom trikru#indra#john murphy#madi griffin#sheidheda#emori#bill cadogan#hope diyoza
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Chapter 1: =My First Day at a New School=
Being in a relationship with a serial killer kinda sucks. But before that, maybe I should start by introducing myself or something. I don’t know. There’s nothing special about me. My name is Perseus Alexander Moore. I’m an eighteen-year-old guy in his twelfth year and I’m distinctive in most groups but I’m not famous or rich or smart. I’m just those guys you normally see in school except I don’t exactly go as ‘normal’ since my hair is styled in an afro which makes it easy to distinguish in a group of people. This is the start of how I made the greatest mistake of my life.
Today I will be going to a new school. It had to be arranged since I moved into my older brother's place. If you’re wondering why, a big incident took place, which I have to live with my whole life but we’ll talk about that later. After changing into clothes for the day, I crept out of my room and went downstairs and the first thing I came upon was the sweet smell of pancakes and bacon filling my nose. My nose scrunched up which made me stop but not because of the smell, but because of the person right in front of me.
Eric Ulysses Moore, my big brother. He’s a successful hematologist oncologist here in this small city of Asheville, North Carolina. He’s got the same curly brown locks as mine except it’s not long or styled informally. We both look somewhat alike but since he’s blessed with our dad’s genes, who is a tall man, he has much darker skin than me and I was told he was taller than me when he was my age.
While my brother cooked breakfast and I’m standing at the kitchen door, I felt like I should just tiptoe out of there but he turned and saw me. “Good morning, Perseus,” he greeted with a smile. “Had a good night’s sleep?”
“Yeah,” I blandly replied. “I also have to go. I might be running late.”
“School doesn’t start at seven-thirty. Eat something first.”
“I’m not hungry,” I said but of course, he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. He served a plate and pointed his eyes to the vacant chair, gesturing I should sit down.
“Look,” my voice was leveled. “I don’t want to deal with you right now. I have to get going.”
“Perseus,” he called back. I ignored him and ran out the door. I brought out my earphones and plugged them in my ears, momentarily escaping from this hell called reality. I grabbed my skateboard and I skated through the busy streets.
Normally, my mom would kill me if I did this. My mind being preoccupied with the music playing, words popping up in my head for lyrics, guitar chords I could possibly use for a song I’m writing while I pass busy streets, small comments in my head about the places I pass will definitely make her want my head.
The trip would have been really quick if I hadn't had to go through so many huge groups of people hurrying to their destinations and most of them are too oblivious to notice what’s around them.
Once I reached the gates of the school, I was somehow —what’s the appropriate word— disappointed.
Right in front of me could have been a grand building but the gate alone is covered in graffiti and the paint is tearing off. The building itself looks like it’s about to collapse, given a few years or even less. You might even think it’s haunted. Students filed into the entrance and it gave me second thoughts. What if I just skipped school today? I thought it would be nice. I could just go home and go back to sleep but then, I have to deal with Eric. And to think of the possible scenarios when I enter these gates: probably new friends, or more jerks who are looking for trouble. I swallowed the anxiousness and the excitement growing in me and I walked in.
Entering the building, I felt like I was a kitten that trespassed a lions’ den. In the hallway, everybody turned their head towards me and I tried my best to stay passive.
Luckily, when I got enrolled here, they gave me my schedule and the room numbers so I didn’t have to ask around. I reached the room for my first class, which is Conservatory of Music. Then I noticed there was this note taped on the glass window of the door. It said: Class will be in the Music Room. I raised an eyebrow. Music Room, I thought. I looked down at the paper I had in my hand and scanned it. It didn’t have any directions for the room. I buried the annoyance that’s building up in me and looked around just in case no one could see how stupid I look and with my luck, I found three guys walking in my direction. The guy on the right had copper-red hair, freckles across his cheeks and nose, and a mischievous grin on his face and is probably one of the people I will never trust my life with when handling matches or sharp objects. The one on the middle had emo/scene slick black hair and it was long on one side so it hid his face. He looked reserved at first glance since he had his head lowered and even if his friend on the right had his arm locked on his neck, he didn’t complain. The one on the left took me aback. I was looking at a much younger clone of Brandon Routh when he played Clark Kent or Superman. He’s this tall guy with glasses, shiny black hair swept to the side, and a jacket. His facial features are almost perfect and I don’t think his face is familiar to acne or a single pimple. The guy on the right saw me. His hazel-green eyes shone and his grin widened. “Hey,” he waved. “You must be new.”
“I am,” I had to keep a straight face. The redhead kept smiling but when he faced the note on the door, he frowned. “Damn,” he snapped his fingers. He faced his friend and yelled to them, “Upstairs, guys. Prof switched rooms.”
“I told you he would,” said the guy with the glasses. The ginger raised his hands in defeat but still cracked a smirk. “At least we found this guy,” he gestured his hands to me. “If we didn’t think to check this room, he would be late than we already were.”
“Yeah, yeah shut up, Michael.” The other two faced me and studied me from head to toe. Superman said, “You were lucky. This campus is huge.”
“That’s what she said,” the guy named Michael snorted, which earned him a smack on the back of the head, “You’re so mean, Xavier.”
“And you’re being an idiot,” replied Xavier, who had a more Asian look than everybody else I've seen.
I felt inept. I’m standing in the middle of a playful conversation of strangers I just met and they didn’t really mind me there. Or how late we were.
“Hey,” I spoke up. “Aren’t we supposed to get to class?” The three of them stared at each other then realized it with a start. Some of them cursed and then we ran to the Music Room.
Fortunately, we reached class before the professor arrived. The place was huge and I think we were more than fifty students here. We were going to be seated on the floor and our bags were piled onto each other at the back. But what’s enticing are the instruments in front of us. I was tempted to grab a guitar and run but the professor finally entered the room. Before I could look around for a place to sit, someone already grabbed my hand and pulled me down.
“Sorry,” said Clark Kent. “I didn’t get to introduce myself. I’m Nicholas Taylor but call me Nick.”
“I’m Perseus Moore,” we held out each other’s hand and shook it. Behind Nick, Michael’s head popped out and he beamed. “I’m Michael Johnathan Carter. Most people call me Michael or Mike. You pick. I don’t care.” We shook hands and I faced their other friend.
“I’m Xavier Hernandez,” he said politely. “It’s nice to meet you, Perseus.”
“Yeah,” I tried to smile. They seem nice, I thought to myself. We started talking in our small circle and then Nick asked, “Do you play any instruments?”
“I play guitar,” I replied. Michael’s grin got even wider if that was possible and then he scooted near me. “What songs can you play?”
“Erm,” I moved a bit farther from him but I was saved when the professor got our attention. He’s a guy that looked like he was supposed to go to a Rock concert but got lost and ended up in a classroom full of teenagers. Instead of the usual teachers’ uniform, he wore this black band shirt of Korn, had a few piercings on his lips and eyebrow, plus tattoos all over his arms. “Good morning class,” he greeted. I thought we would respond with the habitual bland greeting but the place roared with excitement. Everyone was just yelling at the top of their lungs so the teacher had to silence us. “After a summer break, you all are still very loud.”
“We love you, Sir Ramirez!” Michael yelled and it just ignited another round of cheers. Again, we were silenced but I’m surprised one finger from the teacher made everyone quiet.
“I am also glad to see you all again. Most of you have moved up which is great,” Sir Ramirez congratulated us. “I was also informed that we have a new student joining us. Where is he?”
I just sat there, not planning to do anything for anyone to catch my attention but Michael grabbed my arm and raised it for me. Quickly, I yanked it away and glared at him. “Thank you, Michael. Now, please come up front.” The first thing I thought was, What is this? Grade school? But I obeyed and walked over to his side. “Introduce yourself.”
“Hi,” I started, I could feel my palms starting to sweat. “I’m Perseus Moore.”
“Do you play any instruments, Perseus, or are you just here to learn a thing or two?”
“I can play.”
“Awesome,” Sir Ramirez clapped his hands. Everyone started muttering to themselves and I didn’t like it at first until the prof asked, “What instrument do you play?”
“Guitar, sir.”
He smiled and walked over to the corner where the pile of goodies are and picked up a maroon Gibson SG then handed it over. My eyes widened at the guitar and I looked up at him for confirmation. “Give us a show, Perseus.” He signaled me to start and with barely any practice for the past month, I played Thunderstruck by AC/DC. The students went wild and I think everyone on this floor, and possibly the one under and the one above us, could hear them singing the song.
Sir Ramirez raised his hand to stop me in the middle of the song and I did. Everyone had this look on their faces which I can’t comprehend and my heart was pounding against my ribs. “So,” the professor starts. There wasn’t that much emotion shown on his face and I wasn’t comfortable with that. “I can’t tell you how much I’m impressed.”
“You are?” I blinked. “I mean, thank you, sir.”
“Of course I am. It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone with this much grit and how much the whole class enjoyed it.” Then everyone started screaming like their favorite basketball team won. Makes me wonder how their voices haven’t cracked yet. I would never last that long. When they settled, Sir Ramirez clapped his hands and everyone joined him. With an awkward smile and my pulse beating in my throat, I bowed. Nick and the others cheered and they were joined by everyone else. When I got back to my seat, class started and at that point, I happily thought that this was going so well so far. Boy, was I wrong.
After three classes, it was finally our Lunch Break. I hated the other classes since the teachers after Conservatory were snobby, nosy, and irritating as hell. They lose their cool easily. I’m only grateful that Nick, Michael, and Xavier will be in the same classes as me since they’re the only people I know.
While we were walking to the cafeteria, Nick said, “You were great back there.”
“Thanks,” I tried to sound more confident than I am.
“Wanna join our band?” Michael smiled. “We’re missing a lead guitarist. And you don’t seem to be part of anything yet.”
“You’re recruiting me?”
“Of course,” he placed his hand on my shoulder. “We’ve been talking about it. You in? Please say you are.”
“Stop that, Michael,” Xavier spoke up. “You know we have to talk to Morpheus first about this.”
“Who?” I turned to him.
“He’s our band leader and frontman,” Nick replied. “The guy’s awesome and super chill. He would love to meet you. But we need to know if you want to join us as well or otherwise, he’d think that we forced you to.” Then I heard Michael comment, “What is this? A cult?” Xavier flicked his fingers in the middle of his friend’s forehead and it made a sound, probably shaking his skull. Watching them alone, being whoever they are, saying whatever they want and their closeness to each other makes me think about their offer. I faced Nick who had an expectant look on his face. “I’m in.”
We reached the school’s outdoor covered court. It’s after passing the cafeteria. I’m telling you now that this is the only place that’s pleasant in the whole school. Instead of seeing trash littered everywhere, the court was clean and there were trees aligned on the side of it. Under one of the trees, there was this Blond holding an acoustic guitar. Michael ran to him and gave him a tackle-hug.
“What the hell, Michael?” He exclaimed as the others just laughed out loud. They sat up again and the redhead tugged on the guy’s sleeve. “We found a lead guitarist, Morph.”
“Hi?” I waved. The Morpheus guy studied me with his sky blue eyes and frowned a bit. He stood up and I realized he’s way taller than Nick which only made me anxious about my height. Gee, thanks. He circled me, like a lion studying its helpless prey. Morpheus turned to his bandmates and asked why I should be in the band. They explained it to him with enthusiasm while I just stood there not even getting why he’s asking them instead of me.
“So,” the tall blond turned to me. “I see that you got yourself some fans now.” Looking over his shoulder, Nick and Michael had huge grins on their faces, excitedly waving their hands while Xavier is also smiling but not like the other two. My eyes went back to Morpheus and I shrugged. “I never meant to. They just asked me to play.”
“Can you perform in front of something bigger than a bunch of students in one room?”
I could’ve answered him with an eager ‘Yes’ but in the pit of my stomach, my anxiety starts poking me. Morpheus patiently waited for my answer while I thought, A bigger crowd? That would be awesome but if I’m not good enough… Then what? I mentally slapped myself in the face. I looked up to him and said, “Even if it doesn’t take me anywhere, I can.”
Morpheus gave that a thought which lasted longer than I wanted to. My friends had their fingers crossed and I quietly hoped I would get accepted. Morpheus’ lips slowly curled into a smile and happily said, “You’re in.” Then they started clapping their hands. Michael locked his arm around my neck and yelled, “Finally! Someone decent enough to play for our band.” That comment got him a smack on the head and he just laughed it off. Xavier ruffled my curly hair and spread his arms out. “Welcome aboard Erebos.”
“Erebos?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, yeah,” Nick said. “A friend named the band. She said that it’s the name of the primordial darkness in Greek mythology or something like that.”
Just then, their faces lightened up. I followed wherever they were looking at and found something I wasn’t expecting. Walking towards us was a girl with straight hair as dark as midnight, autumn tanned skin and she had a gray jacket wrapped around her waist since the school uniform for girls had short skirts. Michael ran over to her and held his hand out for a high-five. “Hey, Babycakes!”
Babycakes?
She scowled and pointed a finger at him. “How many times do I have to tell you to never call me that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Michael tries to imitate her British accent. “Did I touch a nerve?”
“You always do.” She crossed her arms and her eyes found me. I flinched, probably because I’ve been staring at her for too long, looking stupid, and got caught. Nick saved me though. He placed a hand on my shoulder and told the girl, “I’d like to introduce you to our new lead guitarist, Perseus Moore!”
“Perseus?” She raised an eyebrow. She studied me from head to toe and as I watched her, I noticed her eyes were gray. They remind me of fierce storm clouds or bones when reduced to ash. My heart started thundering against my chest when her eyes met my golden brown ones. She then looked up at my hair and asked, “Is that natural or are you just looking for attention?”
“What?”
“Your hair. And your eyes? You’re not wearing contacts, are you?”
“I could say the same to you,” I commented. A shadow of irritation passed over her face and then I realized my mistake. Morpheus cleared his throat and got her attention. “You’re not going to tear his face off, are you, Kass?” Xavier spoke up. She faced him and cracked a smirk, leaving me wanting to melt into a puddle for some reason. “I don’t have a reason to,” she faced me and held out her hand. “I’m Kassandra Cyrillus. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
I shook her hand. “I could say the same thing.”
“Not when you really know what you’re talking to,” I heard her mutter. That took me aback. What is she talking about? I faced Nick who looked somewhat nervous when she said that and when I looked back at Kassandra, she still had the same expression except I recognized the look on her face. Like, she had the face of someone who got away with murder which is stupid because that’s impossible. Or was it?
“Now, now, Kassandra,” Michael interrupted my train of thought. “Stop scaring away the new guy.” She gave him a look which made him raise his hands in defeat and then she faced me. “You all have the same subjects later on, right?”
“Yeah,” we replied in unison. She didn’t give any reaction but handed Morph a bag. “I’ll see you all later then,” she looks over her shoulder a bit and walks away. When she was finally out of our sight, I turned to my bandmates who were looking at the bag. When they opened it, it was filled with snacks and a big pack of potato chips. They all had an evil grin on their faces and they closed the bag again. “It’s cool how she could smuggle some junk food here in school.”
“She must’ve paid the school guard to let her in,” Nick joked. My eyebrows arched. The image of Kassandra burned in the back of my mind and I can’t help notice how she looked so innocently malevolent. Two words I never thought would fit together. Morpheus saw how confused I was and placed his hand on my shoulder. “You look lost.”
“I don’t understand how things go around here,” I said with genuine honesty. “Is it just me or is Kassandra plotting something evil?” They looked at each other which is concerning for me like it’s a tough subject they don’t want to tackle. “Did I say something wrong?”
Nick snaked his arm around my shoulder. “Nah, dude. It’s just that, Kassandra had this reputation here at school, so it tends to make her judge and mistrust people she meets at first glance. Be a little patient with her. She’s actually a great person to be with,” he smiled. With that, the school bell rings for our upcoming classes. We walked to our classroom and went on with our day.
Finally, school was about to end. I just had to end this last class: Literature. My bandmates were left behind since they said they needed to talk to our Math teacher. When I reached the door of the classroom, I expected a bunch of students sticking their noses in books but instead, I found most of my classmates were off their seats, just being chaotic as usual.
“You’ll get used to it,” said a familiar voice behind me. When I turned around, I found Kassandra. She had a black backpack slung on one shoulder and the strap had a metal pin of a badly drawn smiley face with X’s for eyes and it had its tongue stuck out, the logo of the Grunge band Nirvana. “Nice pin,” I complimented. “Somehow matches your personality.”
“Don’t flatter me, Perseus,” her voice laced with bitter sarcasm. “And if you want small talk, I suggest we go inside and sit down. Unless you want to block the door, I’m not joining you.”
I stepped aside and let her in first and muttered, “Sorry.” Following her to the back of the classroom, I sat on the vacant chair beside her. There were more vacant seats other than this but I just felt like I needed to sit next to somebody I at least know if I get called. Now and then, I would steal glances of her just to see her doodling on her notebook. Well, I just think she’s doodling. The first thing that caught my attention was that she’s writing in Greek? Second thing I noticed were the symbols Aδης. What do they mean? Like I know. I wanted to ask her but everyone started to make a commotion when Michael entered the room.
Kassandra let out a soft laugh when she saw her friend being flirty with the girls who were head over heels for him. “Always a tosser,” she muttered and closed her notebook. “Then these girls would fall for every banter. Can you believe that?”
I realized she was talking to me so I answered, “Er, yeah. They’re being a little too extra.”
“Michael’s always extra,” she shrugs. I then noticed her lips were curled up into a small smile and I kind of felt good about that. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Nothing,” I looked in the other direction. When they were seated, the professor entered the room. He’s a pudgy man with a scowl on his face and has more hair on his chin than on his head. I could hear a lot of the students around us snickering and then they all burst out laughing when the teacher sat on his seat. Confused, he tries standing up and then realizes the problem. “You insufferable brats!” He yelled at us. When he tried to walk out of his desk, everyone was laughing except for me and Kassandra since the chair was stuck to the man’s rear-end. I mean, it’s literally glued to his butt. Honestly, it’s an old trick in the book but I think getting someone to do it right in front of you makes it funny. He started yelling things I don’t think would get him a promotion, or probably let him keep his job. Nonetheless, we continued class while the professor was seated, and ever so often, you will hear giggles when he tries standing up.
“Now,” he pats a stack of papers on his desk. “This will be your homework for two weeks. Read it carefully and I don’t want anyone submitting anything stupid, understood?”
Everyone jeered and groaned. Kassandra and I stayed silent then I glanced at her just to find her reading a book under her desk. As the papers were being distributed, the professor said, “You all will be partnered” —everyone cheered— “by the person beside you.” The excitement died and it just made him smile smugly. The school bell rang for dismissal and everyone quickly raced to the door.
“Wait,” I looked at my seatmate. “Who am I partnered with?” We stared at each other. It seemed like time suddenly stopped for some reason. Our eyes locked and I don’t know how, but I could see this shadow behind her gray orbs. What could it be? A weird gut feeling tells me that this person in front of me was someone… someone who you shouldn’t get on their bad side or you’re screwed. Kassandra smiled and answered, “I suppose you’re stuck with me, Phrixus.”
#=PLMR=#original story#chapter 1#novel series#novel#romance#music#greek mythology#angst#teen author#rock music#book 1#band mentions#author#2000s feels
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1-Knitting
“Where’s Red Hood?” Nightwing asked as he landed on the roof of the building and looked over at the rest of the batfam.
“He’s not coming.” Batman said as he crossed his arms and looked at Nightwing,
“You’re late by the way.”
“I know. I ran into some guys robbing a gas station.”
“Hn”
“Good talk B.” Nightwing chuckled and walked towards his brothers.
“Good afternoon baby birdies.”
“Hey, Dick.
“Do you know where Jason is?”
“He said he was taking the night off and that Bruce can fuck off.”
“That gives me an idea!” Nightwing beamed at his siblings and then ran over to Bruce,
“Hey! B! If Red Hood can take the night off then we should go visit him!”
“No.”
“Come on Bruce. You know how Jason gets when he’s alone.” Tim said as he leaned on his bo staff,
“No. We have patrol.”
“Father. We should go see Todd.”
“Yeah B!” Stephanie said as she bounced up and down. Cass smiled and stood silently behind Steph. Bruce looked at each of his kids and sighed. He knew when he was outnumbered and when he lost. Because when it comes to his kids he really couldn’t tell them no. So away they went to Jason’s apartment. Somehow halfway there Dick and Steph turned it into a race, Dick won of course.
“Soooo front door or window?”
“The front door is for normal people.” Dick said with a smile.
“Window it is.” Tim said as he pried the window to Jason’s apartment.
“....Do you hear music?”
“Jason’s listening to music.”
The family slowly crept into the apartment. Only one light was on and that was to the living room. They walked towards the living room and they each froze. Jason was sitting in a rocking chair humming along to the soft music that was playing through the radio with knitting needles. Was he knitting a sweater, oh my god he was. Dick put his hand on the wall but ended up knocking something off the wall. Jason jumped off of the rocking chair and looked behind him. Damian and Tim both covered their mouths to not laugh. Jason was wearing a fluffy pink sweater with a cartoonish red bat.
Jason’s face turned a very bright red,
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!”
“We came to visit you. Oh my god, you’re adorable in that!”
“Please stop.” Jason sighed and looked away. Stephanie squealed as she grabbed something out of a basket.
“It has my name on it!” Jason looked over to Stephanie and sighed.
“I made it for you. I uh..made everyone something.” As soon as those words left his mouth Steph grabbed the basket and dumped everything on the floor,
“Oh come on Steph!” She gave everyone whatever had their names on it. Dick had a pair of black and blue gloves, Damian had a green scarf that had the Wayne family crest, Tim had a red and black hat, Cass had a hat with tiny bat ears.
“Aww, Jay! Where did you learn how to knit anyway?”
“When I was in France with the league I met an old woman who didn’t have any family willing to visit her. So I stayed with her when I was able too. We talked and she should me how to knit. She said I was the best grandson she knew. She uh..died shortly after. So whenever I’m missing her I knit.”
“I’m sorry Jason.”
“Jaylad…”
“I-It’s ok. I swear it is.” He was tackled by all of his family in a giant hug.
“Guys...can’t...breath..” They let go of him slowly.
“So. Got any stories about the lady?”
“Cecile Bisset. She was the sweetest old lady.” That whole night was full of Jason telling stories about Cecile and knitting a sweater. Once the sweater was done he handed it to Bruce.
“There you are.” Bruce stared at the sweater and smiled. It was black with pink cuffs and had “Best Bat Dad” on it.
“Happy early father’s day.”Bruce sat the sweater to the side and hugged Jason.
“I love you son.”
“Love you too dad.”
2-Horse Back riding
“Soo. Jason ran off.” Bruce sighed loudly as he turned the chair to look at his kids.
“Why?” Dick shrugged at Bruce’s response.
“I don’t know. He said he needed to leave Gotham for a bit.” Bruce sighed again and grabbed his phone. He went into his contacts and called Clark.
“Clark. Is Jason either over at your place or coming over?.... We’ll come by in about an hour.” Bruce sat his phone on the batcomputers desk.
“He’s at Clark’s?” Tim asked as he sat down in his swivel office chair and spun himself around
“He’s at the Kent’s place in Smallville.” Tim stopped spinning in the chair and looked at Bruce,
“Why’s he at the Kent’s?”
“I don’t know. But we are going to go see.”
“Cool. Let’s follow the Red Hood and see what he does on the weekend.” Damian said as he looked over at Stephanie who was standing on the t-rex’s head as she played with the stuffed knitted bear that Jason made for her.
“He knits on the weekends Dami!” She said with a smile.
“Steph get off the t-rex.”
“Sure B.”
“So...shall we go get our wayward birdy?” Dick smiled as he looked around at his family, Tim sighed loudly and got off his chair.
“Fine.” Dick rolled his eyes while Bruce tried not to smack his face with his palm.
It took them twenty minutes to get on the road and towards Smallville. Bruce really needed to talk to Jason about running off without telling them. They worry about Jason, they’re scared he’ll get hurt while they aren’t there with him. When they reach the Kent’s farm, Clark was waiting for them outside the farmhouse. He smiled at the Wayne’s.
“Hey, guys! How was the drive over?”
“Where’s Jason?” Bruce ignored the question, he only wanted to see his son. Clark smiled,
“He’s in the back with Ma and Pa. Come on.” He seemed eager to show them something. And when they got to the back they realized why. Jason was riding in a circle with a beautiful black horse. They could see a bright smile on his face. Ma Kent walked over to them and offered them some lemonade.
“Good to see you boys again.” She smiled at them.
“I didn’t know Jason could ride horses.”
“He’s really good at it. Cause he can’t really take the horses to Gotham he keeps them here. Thanks, Ma.” Clark said as he took a glass of lemonade from his mom. Jason noticed them and smiled at them, he pulled on the horse’s reins making the horse stop. He got off the horse and handed the reins to Pa Kent who gladly took it. Jason walked over to them and crossed his arms with a playful smile.
“What’s going on guys?”
“You can ride horses too?”
“Yep.”
“Let me guess, someone taught you when you were traveling?”
“Oh yeah. I stayed with a nice family in Mongolia. They taught me how to ride horses. They also showed me how to shear sheep.”
“Jesus Jason. Anything else you can do that we don’t know?”
“Eh probably. But I’ll let you figure it out later.” Jason said as he put his hands in his pocket. Damian was staring at the horse with wide eyes,
“What’s his name?”
“Shade.”
“I love him.”
“I know you do Dami.”
“Father-”
“No Damian.”
“TT.”
The Waynes joined the Kent’s for dinner that night, when they finished dinner the Waynes headed to the car.
“How did you get here Jay?” Tim asked as he opened the car door.
“My bike.”
“You wanna come with us? It’s late.”
“I’ll be fine dad. I’ll see you guys at the manor?” Bruce nodded
“Oh yeah. We still gotta do movie tonight.”
“Damn. I forgot about that.”
3-Hair Braiding
“Ow! Dick be careful!” Stephanie winced as Dick pulled her hair.
“Sorry, Steph! I’m not really good at braiding.”
“You don’t say.”
Jason watched them from the doorway fixing his tie.
“Move out of the way Dickie.” Jason all but pushed Dick away from Steph,
“What are you doing Jay?” Stephanie asked Jason as he gathered the middle of her hair,
“Your hair has bee brushed right?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” Jason split the hair into three sections and crossed the right section under the middle one. He took a thin section of her hair and added it to the right section before crossing it under the middle one. He did the same thing with the left side and kept doing it until he reached the nape of Steph’s neck, when he got to her nape he did a standard braid and loosened the outer strands of the braid to make it seem fuller.
“There.” Jason took a step back and looked at his work with a proud smile.
“Oh my god! I love it!” Steph squealed happily as she turned and wrapped her arms around Jason in a hug.
“Let me guess...traveling?” Dick said with a smirk. Jason laughed
“Oh yeah. I stayed with a woman in the Netherlands who really liked to braid hair, she should me how to do it.”
“Thank you so much, Jay!”
“I’m glad you do Steph. I gotta finish getting ready for the Gala.” He turned around and walked out of the room leaving Steph and Dick to talk about her hairstyle.
4-Makeup
Jason headed to his room after he left Steph and Dick when he overheard Tim and Cass,
“I’m sorry Cass, I’m not really good at makeup that’s not...cover up.” Jason looked in Cass’s room. Cass was sitting in front of her vanity mirror while Tim was brushing her hair. Cass pouted a bit.
“Need help with some make-up Cassy?” Tim and Cass looked over at Jason,
“Yes.”
“What look were you hoping for?” She pointed to a picture in a magazine. Red and yellow mixed eyeshadow, butterfly looking hairclips, and matte pink lipstick. Jason nodded and got to work. He blended the red and yellow eyeshadow in the middle to make it orange, he used eyeliner and mascara. Once he finished her eye makeup he put her matte pink lipstick,
“And you’re done.” Cass smiled at the reflection and then hugged Jason,
“Thank you.”
“No problem Cassy.”
“I’m not even gonna ask where you picked that up.”
“Believe it or not. Talia showed me how to do makeup.”
“I don’t believe it.” Tim said as he grabbed his suit jacket off of Cass’s dresser,
“So, you ready for the Gala Jay?”
“I guess.” With that, the three siblings walked downstairs to meet their dad for the Gala.
5-Belly Dancing
Dick really never expected to find Jason in the dance studio as an instructor. A Belly Dancing instructor. Dick, Cass, Steph, Tim, and Damian watched from the class door watching as Jason told the class what they were going to do.
“Firstly we are going to make a big outer hip circle.” He said as he moved his hips in a big circle,
“Our pelvic region is gonna stay in neutral, as we push and shift our weight from toes, heels, and the edges of our feet. As you can see I’m pushing my hips in a nice big counter-clockwise circle and making sure I keep it all equal. How far I go forward is how far I go backward. It probably won’t come naturally to any of you, but why not give it a try.” Jason watched the class as they tried to copy Jason.
“Heather, don’t sway your hips like that. Keep it natural not club dancing. Good job Keira. A tip is to try and keep your pant line even with the floor. Don’t tip a hip up. Keep your spine straight guys. Don’t bend and don’t go so big you lose your balance.” He said as he kept making his hips go in a circle.
“....I think we should leave Jason to his class.”
“...I’m having him teach me this.”
“Dick no.”
“Dick yes.” Tim grabbed Dicks’s ear and the siblings walked out of the dance studio and away from Jason. Tim needed bleach in his eyes to get rid of the image of Jason moving his hips like that. It was not something he ever wanted to see. From Damian’s reaction, he agrees with Tim.
+1-The family surprises him
Jason yawned as he made his way up to the main door to the manor, he didn’t bother to knock. He just pushed opened the door, he took one step in and saw his family all trying to belly dance.
“What in the..”
“Ah, Master Jason. Would you like some tea?” Alfred walked up to him with a tray of tea
“W..what’s going on?” Jason asked as he looked in horror as Bruce tried to sway his hips,
“It seems Master Dick wanted the family night to be used to learn Belly Dancing.”
“...Can I go to the kitchen...I don’t need to see Bruce swaying his hips anymore…”
“Of course.” Jason walked into the kitchen, for the second time that night he froze. Talia and Selina were sitting at the table drinking coffee and talking. Like friends.
“He came from nowhere and said ‘I’m Batman.’ Like it was supposed to mean something to me at the time.” Selina said as she took a sip of her coffee. Talia laughed and looked over at Jason.
“Habibi, come sit with us.” Jason smiled and walked over to the table and sat with the two women.
“So, we’re talking shit about Bruce?”
“Of course we are.”
#5+1#Jason Todd#Dick Grayson#Batfam#Stephanie Brown#Damian Wayne#Tim Drake#Cassandra Cain#Bruce Wayne#The Kents#Talia Al Ghul
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My Favorite
Trope: Soulmate marks. Twist: Lexa doesn’t have one. Clarke does.
7/7 - (Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6)
~
It wasn't the sunshine that woke her up or even the breeze from the window that was cracked open. It was the soft press of kisses on her neck and the brief flutter of eyelashes against her jaw. Lexa awoke with a smile, fingers already lost in blonde locks. She kissed back the sweet lips that brushed against her mouth, teasing with a swipe of tongue before they were gone again.
"Hmm don't stop," Lexa mumbled.
Her body was still so tired by the night's events that she was happy to lie on her back all day if it meant Clarke would remain atop her like this, half-nude and warm and soft. Lexa's hands traveled to her waist until she finally opened her eyes.
"Good morning," she sleepily said, relieved that she had not dreamed this up. It was unlikely any dream could match up to this reality.
Clarke shook her head.
"It's not a good morning?" Lexa asked with a mild frown.
Clarke pointed toward the clock on the nightstand, which read 12:04pm.
"Oh." Lexa couldn't remember the last time she'd slept this late, but as Sundays went this one was the greatest in a long time.
"Have you been up long?" she asked, pouting when Clarke nodded. "You should've woken me up."
Clarke ran her hand over Lexa's jaw and kissed her again. Lexa smiled, hands going beneath her sleep shirt.
"You know, I'm very naked."
Clarke arched a brow, clearly not seeing the problem.
"And you're not. I thought I took care of that serious mistake last night, but if it's a reoccurring problem I'll be happy to-"
Clarke laughed and then kissed her again. Lexa ran her hands up her bare thighs and managed to sit up. She wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and lost herself in their embrace, wondering if it would be at all possible to simply do this all day long. When Clarke pulled back and grabbed something on the nightstand, Lexa still felt slightly dazed.
The room finally came into sharper focus when Clarke presented her with a piece of paper. It was a handwritten letter, one that Lexa guessed had been penned while she slept. Clarke sat back and bit her lip.
"Should I read it now?" Lexa asked.
Clarke nodded.
Lexa sat up against one of the pillows, brushing a hand over her eyes to ensure she didn't miss a single word.
Dear Laxe,
Lexa looked up and noticed Clarke's cheeky grin. "One day I'll get you back for that one."
I wish I could tell you these things differently, but amazed as I am by your progress in sign, I'm not as patient as people believe me to be. I’m excited for the day you and I can discuss what has led us both here at length; just the two of us in bed without phones or notes or friends acting as translators. But until that day, here goes:
When I was ten, a car slammed into my bicycle on my way to school. I was thrown off so hard that my helmet cracked in half when I hit a tree head first. When I woke up in a hospital room, my entire body felt broken. My parents asked me if I remembered anything, but I didn't. So my mom asked me if I could tell her my name. When I said it out loud, her face went pale and my dad started crying. I realized whatever had come out wasn't right. Simply put, I know what I want to say, but my brain and my speech muscles just can't relay the message right.
In spite of that, I was lucky. I had a lot of people helping me and I made it out okay. With time I managed fluent ASL and speech therapy helped me relearn how to mouth out some words, though with long sentences I usually end up mouthing something that doesn't even look like the same word. I'm sorry if that confuses you one day.
Lexa shook her head. "Don't be sorry for confusing me. I'll just have to learn faster."
About a year later, I noticed that my mark looked weird. Like someone had rubbed their finger over it and it wasn't as sharp anymore. I should've probably been more concerned, but… Deep down, I always knew my mark fading had to do with you. I can't really explain how I knew it was connected to you - to how you felt about it. I just did. So even if my own parents panicked, even if some strangers raised their concerns, I was always calm about it.
When I heard you speak to me for the first time, I realized I had to think carefully.
I wanted to answer you so badly. I think you noticed that - you looked so disappointed when I didn't. The truth is, I understood that if I did, my mark would stop fading for good. And maybe we could have been happy for a while, knowing that you and I are destined to be together, but… I think at some point in these past few days you finally set yourself free.
Lexa, you don’t believe in the mark. Even if I told you what words used to be on your wrist, even if you recognized them, I don't think you would place your faith back in the system. I don't think you will ever allow anything or anyone to tell you who to trust your heart with. When my mark started fading, I understood that it was you renouncing the system for your own sake. And I don't want to be a part of something that has caused you so much pain.
I think my mark faded because you don't want to be inevitable. You want to be a choice. A choice someone makes because they want you, not because they need you to feel complete. Not because the world has told them you're theirs. Not because fate has decided for them.
All I've ever wanted, too, was for someone to choose me for who I am. For someone to accept that they'll never hear me say their name. That communication will be hard and that sometimes we will both get frustrated with each other. That I look odd when I laugh.
"Your laugh is my favorite," Lexa murmured absentmindedly, not noticing when Clarke's eyes widened and then she smiled.
You gave me all of that when you chose me without even knowing I was already yours. So please be sure of the same:
I choose you. I choose you because you make me happy. Because you're trying to learn a new language for me. Because you have such a big heart. I choose this life with you because I know it'll be worth everything. I know what I wanted my response to be, but I don't know if it matches whatever was once on your wrist. It doesn't matter to me if it did or not. I think there are other ways of knowing when a person is right for you. There are so many ways that these marks have made us forget. That’s what I want to give you: my heart’s conviction that you’re right for me and I’m right for you. We don't need fate, Lexa.
But I understand that it's more difficult for you. Your mark was taken abruptly and this world treated you differently because of it. I understand if you want to know what my words were going to be. And I'll tell you in a heartbeat if that's what you need. I imagine that we'd be able to scrub your name from the registry. That we could be a part of the system again. I'll give you your words back, whether it means closure or a new beginning for you.
Do you want them back?
The letter ended with the simple question, but Lexa found it impossible to look up. Her eyes had filled with tears and she had started trembling. She felt Clarke's hand gently nudge her chin up, her touch so caring that Lexa knew she was safe. When she looked up, she saw that Clarke had grabbed a marker and written the mark back on her own wrist: I love that tomato.
Lexa held her breath. She ran a finger over the words, her heart clenching painfully. Her first reaction was to be angry - angry that she'd been a part of this system all along, yet it had not recognized Clarke's voice. Or perhaps it had - perhaps it had known all along that Clarke would not speak the words she would have if the circumstances had been different.
It wasn't something Lexa could pretend to understand. She looked up into Clarke's eyes and noticed her still holding the marker. Clarke then took her wrist and pointed the marker at it, silently repeating the question she had asked.
Did Lexa want her words back?
It had been so long since she'd seen them. Just two words, short and sweet. She had dreamed about them as a child, questioning what kind of situation might lead to them. She had wondered if they were in response to her own words, or if whatever she replied back would be her soulmate's mark.
And then they had vanished. Dreams turned into nightmares. Questions never answered. Her life had changed because of a simple mark on her skin. Now, Clarke was offering to give it back. But Lexa had everything she needed. Clarke had already given her the certainty that the future was theirs to shape. She took the marker and wrote a simple word on her wrist: Clarke.
"There. Marked."
Clarke smiled and joined their hands together so that her mark pressed against Lexa's. It wasn't lost on her what Clarke was giving her wholeheartedly. Clarke had her family and friends in Polis, but they had yet to know the impact of her being on the registry for the Markless. Lexa had lost work because of it. Lost valuable time and energy. But she knew how to navigate this world now. Nothing would get in the way of Clarke taking it on - she would make sure of it.
She leaned forward and kissed her, whispering thank yous as she clutched the letter close to her heart.
~
After a few hours, Lexa finally agreed with Clarke insisting they needed food and coffee. Though she had assumed they would stay at the hotel, she was happy to follow Clarke when she suggested Coffee on the Moon instead. There, Clarke made a beeline for Raven at the counter, tugging Lexa with her. But Lexa stopped when she noticed someone very familiar coming out of the restroom.
"Anya?" she called out, incredulous. "What are you doing here? Is Tris with you?"
"Uh… Hey. Tris was invited to a weekend at the beach for this rich kid's birthday. It's a whole ordeal."
"Right." Lexa glanced toward Clarke, who was already signing something quite quickly to Raven. When Raven looked her way and gave her a smirk, Lexa felt her cheeks redden. She focused her attention back on Anya, who was looking more and more like she’d been caught doing something she’d vehemently deny.
"So you decided to drive two hours north for… the coffee?"
"They're good grinds."
"Hm. And that's not a hickey on your neck, is it?"
Anya glared at her. "You know, maybe I wouldn't have ended up on someone else's couch if my friend had answered her phone last night. Or opened her door."
Lexa arched a brow. "I gave you the spare key."
Anya plopped herself down on the chair she had clearly been occupying for some time, if judging by the already two empty coffees on the table. "You're insufferable."
"Feelings aren't poisonous, Anya."
"You're not your usual bitter self - I take it you got laid."
Lexa glanced at Clarke again, who was still chatting while Raven made their coffees.
"Oh, so the whole mark thing got cleared up, huh?" Anya asked with a chuckle.
Lexa's eyes widened. "You knew?"
"Well of course I knew, she's the one who showed me. I figured no one else but you could've said such a weird string of words."
Lexa scowled in disbelief. "You told me-"
"Yeah, yeah, I lied. But I saw the look on your face when you saw her. Knew right then you'd try to figure out if she had a mark and would run the other way when you did. Friends don't let friends fuck up their shot at happiness. Guess it paid off."
Lexa pretended to be upset for just the necessary moment. Anya was right, undoubtedly so. "I guess that makes me the guardian of your own happiness."
"Don't."
"You like Raven."
"Shut up."
"Are you curious about her mark?"
"Her mark is her shop and mine is my kid. I'm good with that."
Lexa nodded in understanding. "You know, I think Tris would like this place a lot."
Anya mulled it over. "Yeah?"
"Great schools, lots of parks, lower rent. I know you want to get her out of that neighborhood."
"Hm."
"And there are opportunities for you too. You're the one who coached me through my interviews - you'd get a job even faster."
“You sure you’re not just sick of being so far from me?” Anya asked.
Lexa smiled. “That too.”
~
While Clarke and her made their way toward the heart of the city, Lexa found herself comparing it to their first date. She had been so full of hope then, but it had still been so new. Now, with Clarke’s name well hidden beneath the sleeve of her sweater, and with Clarke’s hand in hers, there was nothing unsteady about her hope. Clarke was right: they didn’t need fate.
It would not always be as easy as strolling down the street hand-in-hand while they sipped on their coffees. It wouldn’t be easy to always make each other laugh in moments of doubt.
But whatever the world told them, what they shared was not settling. Their feelings were not pale imitations of what others had. Lexa had never felt stronger, knowing that they were embracing the uncertainty of the future with their trust firmly placed in each other.
#clexa#clarke x lexa#f: my favorite#i loved writing this little story#thank you for your kind comments and detailed theories#💕
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6. I Warned Myself
“Do you remember when you said to not tell anybody? ‘Cause if you do, I’ll be the first to put my hands around your throat. I warned myself that I shouldn’t play with fire but I can tell that I’ll do it one more time”
As usual, I always arrived at the lab about ten minutes before my shift started so I had time to leave my things in the locker and go to the break room to make me a coffee, and if I was not alone, socialize with my colleagues. Sara was usually the first one to arrive, so we met in the break room, but this time, it was Catherine who was there.
-¡Hey, Cath! –I greeted with a smile as I walked toward the coffee machine to make myself one- Coffee?
-¡Hey Laura! –She greeted back a few seconds later- No. Thank you.
Catherine was sitting in one of the chairs and with her phone she was trying to call someone but apparently that person didn’t pick up the phone which led her straight to the voicemail.
-Are you okay? –I asked without knowing how she was going to take the question- Can I help you with something?
-Don’t worry, it’s just.. –she blew and put her hands in her head- Lindsey had a ballet performance today and I couldn’t make it in time, so the teacher called her father and now he’s with Linds and I don’t know.. I’m not calm knowing the mess Eddie is.
-Why don’t you take the night off then?
-I can’t, it’s Nicky’s night off and we’d be two people short –She breathed and tried to calm herself- Besides, we’ve got a 445A in a business building.
-What? A bomb?!
-Yes –She nodded before looking at her phone again for the last time- Sara and Grissom are already at the crime scene so we should be probably get going.
We picked up our field kit and we both climbed into the SUV that Catherine was driving. Apparently, the crime scene wasn’t far from the lab but still, we had to cross busy streets.
-You know, this is my first case with bombs.
-Yeah? You like them?
-No, I hate them –I explained myself- Besides leaving the scene in a mess, everything’s burned and in a thousand pieces. It’s a lot of work and usually I don’t mind it, but I just hate everything that goes BOOM.
Suddenly, a car coming from our left almost collided with us. Catherine stopped on the side of the road since we were both scared and with our hearts beating way too fast.
-Are you okay? –She asked putting her hand in my arm- I’m so sorry Laura. I just, I didn’t saw the red light and kept driving..
-Cath, Cath.. –I did the same and held her hands to calm her down- It’s okay. Nothing happened so don’t waste time thinking about it. Do you want me to drive from here?
She nodded so we switched places and a few minutes later we arrived at the crime scene. We met up with Brass in the front of what used to be the doors to the building. He filled us in.
-We’re all clear to go in, but here’s what we got. Couple of head wounds. Elderly guy had his arm torn off. The only fatality so far is Jake Richards, a security guard. Body’s still inside.
We turned our flashlights on as we walked through the lobby. Grissom and Sara were kneeling down besides the body. We made our way toward them and put our kits down as we looked.
-How big you think this bomb was? –Brass asked.
-It’s not the size of the bomb –Sara answered- It’s the overpressure in the air around it.
-The Van Gogh Effect in stereo, both ears –Grissom pointed his flashlight at the dead man’s head- A perfectly symmetrical amputation. Means he was looking directly at the bomb when it went off.
-Smell the sulfur? –Catherine sniffed and took a small sample scraping of the black stuff on the body - Light this, please.
-Gunpowder –I concluded when the black powder on the knife exploded- Well, we know the propellant.
-The dirty little secret of bombs is how easy they are to make and use –Grissom stood up- Our murder weapon’s here someplace in a thousand pieces. We have to find it and put it back together again.
-Bombs explode. Weird thing is their components survive the explosion. If we can piece together this bomb, we’re closer to finding who did this.
Using a magnetic device, I started gathering the minute pieces of metal in the debris. Sara and Catherine started bagging other pieces of metal and Warrick took photos of the whole crime scene. A few hours later, we returned to the lab and Catherine, Sara and I looked at all the bomb pieces we gathered spread out on the table in front of us.
-So all of this stuff is from a five-meter radius of the point of origin? –Sara asked surprised.
-Yep –I nodded- Graphic explanation of why I hate bombs.
-How could the victim possibly be in one piece?
-Vacuum effect –Catherine explained- The air is being pushed out so fast when the bomb detonates there’s a calm at the center.
-Did you figure out what this “FP” stands for? –Sara picked up a gear piece.
-I ran it through the ATF’s bomb database but no profile.
-So our bomber’s a newbie. Does he fit Grissom’s wack job from the bomb site? Dominic, the security guard?
-It’s too soon to tell.
Apparently, a security guard from the building in which the bomb had exploded had approached Grissom to offer his help. He was a fan of bombs. Speak of the devil.. Grissom walked into the room carrying something.
-I found something interesting –he showed it to us- Looks like a balance wheel from a clock. Bomb was time-delayed. This is a piece of a timing device.
-What about the orange stuff? –Sara asked.
-Heat of the explosion must have melted whatever it is all around the wheel. What’s orange and melts?
-I would have to investigate that –she answered with a smile.
-Hey, guys –Nick walked into the room and looked at Grissom- Can I steal you for a minute?
-I thought this was your day off.
-We’re kind of busy here, Nick.
-Yeah, I know and I’m sorry, but I don’t think this can wait.
Grissom and Nick left together, Catherine joined them a few minutes later and neither of them returned. Obviously something had happened and sooner or later we would know. Meanwhile, Sara and I discovered that the piece that Grissom had found belonged to a snoozewell and we discovered which one was, so we called Brass to track the sales of the specific snoozewell. It didn’t take long for Brass to appear in the lab with one of his ironic one-liners.
-Don’t you love the smell of sulfur in the afternoon? –he asked leaning against the door frame- You might want to take a tour of Dominic Kretzker’s house. I tracked down the sale of SnoozeWell clocks. 926 credit card purchases in the last three months in Clark County; 7 to Dominic Kretzker.
-This guy either has serious problems getting up early or he is the person we are looking for –I mumbled as I approached Brass- You comin’ Sara?
-No, I’m going to stay here and help Warrick with the “FP” initials.
We headed to Grissom’s office and once we informed him, we set out to visit our suspect. Brass told me how intense he was, but I didn’t check it until I saw that he was waiting for us on his porch. He had a police scanner and that’s how he knew we were coming.
-What can I do for you guys?
-Dominic.. this is the type of device that was used to set off the Hansen bomb –Grissom showed him a picture- We have proof that you purchased the same make of clock. Want to show us that clock of yours?
-Okey Dokey –he said with a welcoming smile- Come on in.
We walked into the room. Dominic walked over to the table where there was a file box filled with stuff on the floor. He put the box on the table and picked up the alarm clock. He gave it to Grissom.
-The timing device is still intact.
-Yeah, ‘cause I haven’t made the bomb yet.
-Look what I found, sulfur –Brass handed us the piece he found with globs of melted orange on it- Is this from the Hansen bomb?
-Sure is.
-You keep your key piece of evidence that could nail you? –I asked surprised.
-That’s sentimental. Historical. I collect souvenirs.. that’s my building, you know. I mean.. that was my place of employment –he started to get nervous- If I had anything to hide, I’d hide it.
-Well, maybe so but you’re under arrest.
Brass cuffed him and put him in the car.
-I can’t tell whether he’s brilliant or..nuts –Grissom said to me as we watched them get into the car.
-Yeah, me either but I’ll tell you one thing; I like him, he says “Okey Dokey”.
***
Back at the lab, Grissom and Brass interrogated Dominic, while I went to see Sara and Warrick, to check how they were doing with the initials. On my way, I was stopped by Catherine.
-Hey Laura, can I talk to you for a second?
-Yeah, sure –we stood to one side of the hallway to not block the way- Everything okay? Have you been able to talk to your daughter?
-Yes, Eddie finally picked up the phone. Lindsey has a ballet class in a few hours and she wants mom to take her so.. she’s not mad. Thanks for asking –Catherine gave me a warm smile- Look, a prostitute has been found dead by strangulation in her home and someone from the team was with her last night.
All my systems automatically thought of one person. Showing up at work on a day off and wanting to speak to Grissom urgently.. Warning signs. Just as quickly as I knew it was him, that quickly I was disappointed. Nick and I didn’t meet because he already had plans with a friend when he really had a date with a prostitute. He lied to me and that’s what hurt.
-Nick –I guessed and Catherine nodded as a confirmation.
-Ecklie, the day shift supervisor, is assigned to the case but they will pass it on to me. I wanted to talk to you because I may need help.
-Count me in, but why me? –Catherine didn’t answer, she just looked at me- Because I’m the rookie, right?
-We need everyone working the bomb case.. –She explained and then suddenly, she greeted someone with her hand and headed that way- Oh, hey, Conrad, Grissom’s at interrogation but I need to speak with you.. about Nick Stokes.
Ecklie seemed like he wanted to talk, but since he didn’t know me he looked askance at me indicating that he wasn’t going to talk if there was someone unknown there. I took the step and introduced myself.
-Let me guess, about his involvement with a dead hooker?
-Come one, the hooker was a person. Her name was Kristy Hopkins.
-I realize that, thank you but his prints were all over Kristy Hopkins’s house. Let’s see wine glass, bedside table, bed frame..
Ecklie was giving us a visual image when Nick appeared on the scene. He stopped as soon as he saw that we were talking with Ecklie. We exchanged a look and after taking a deep breath, he approached.
-Nick, I don’t think you guys should be talking –Catherine advised.
-It’s no big deal. What’s up, Ecklie?
-I need a DNA sample from you, Nick. We found a condom, used.
-I assume you’re trying to prove Kristy Hopkins and I were sexually active last night. My DNA will match, no warrant necessary. I have something else for you –Nick handed Ecklie a piece of paper with writing on it- A license plate number. Vehicle belongs to Jack Willman. Had a fight with Kristy outside the Orpheus last night around midnight.
-Well, I’ll look into it but come one.. your fingerprints, your DNA.. that’s what’s going into evidence. I don’t want to believe a CSI could commit murder. Hell, I don’t even want to believe that a CSI could sleep with a hooker.
-You know what? –Ecklie’s way of talking pissed me off, so I had to say something- Nick’s private life..
-Is no longer private –he interrupted me- I’m sorry if you guys don’t like where the evidence is pointing but show me otherwise. In the meantime, I have a protocol to follow.
-Look, I’m going to get O’Riley to track down this Jack guy for questioning, but I am out on a limb for you here, Nick –Catherine said, and then she and Ecklie left together.
Nick put his hands on his waist and turned to look at me. His gaze was saddened and concerned. Mine was hurt and pissed off.
-Can we talk? –he asked me as my phone rang.
-Gotta go –I read the urgent message from Brass- There’s been a second bomb.
***
We made a quick little briefing after visiting the second crime scene, because it was raining, we collected the most important things and returned. Sara discovered that the orange stuff was actually orange polyester from a jacket. I ran a search looking for disgruntled employees in The Hansen Building and I found Norman Stirling, a former manager. Warrick investigated the initials and found out that they were made by an electric etcher. The manufacturer said that this etcher was only used for training purposes and Las Vegas School District was the one who bought it and Stirling’s son goes there. Last by not least, the second bomb was not remote, so Dominic was ruled out as a suspect because he was in custody. Grissom let him free to go with an advice; “Next time try not to be quite so trusting. You don’t need to be a hero”.
While Brass was in charge of finding and bringing both the father and the son for interrogation, I received a message from Catherine telling me to meet her at the DNA Lab. When I arrived, she was already there.
-How you doing, Greg? –I greeted him.
-Worried about Nick –he answered me and then looked at Catherine- It’s not your case, much as I want to help, no can do.
-That’s my case for the next twelve hours. Ask the Sheriff.
-I would never doubt your word –Greg opened the freezer and took out the envelope. He removed the slide and put it under the microscope- Nick’s little soldiers, all yours.
-Thanks Greg –Catherine looked through the scope and indicated me to look too- When did you say this sample was frozen?
-10.15 AM, why?
-What do you see, Laura?
-These guys are all heads, no tails –I answered.
-Kristy’s time of death was 6.00 AM. It takes about seven hours for bacteria to eat away at the tails..
-.. Placing the time of ejaculation at 2.00 AM –I finished.
-It doesn’t disprove Nick’s presence at the time of the homicide.
-You could be a little more supportive –I told Greg and then realized something- Do we have the murder weapon?
-No, we don’t –Catherine denied with her head- She was strangled. If Jack killed her, it had to be something of convenience. I’ll go to the crime scene and have a look around.
-Catherine –I stopped her and gain her attention- What happens if we don’t solve this in twelve hours?
-They are going to arrest Nick –She answered honestly- If Nick’s arrested, it’s not going to matter that he’s cleared later. It’s automatic dismissal.
***
Catherine left to find the murder weapon and with the bombs case we were waiting for the father and son, I took advantage of the break to make a coffee. I really needed the caffeine. I put the phone on the table and went to the coffee maker. I leaned against the table while I waited but then I heard someone enter the room and close the door. I knew exactly who it was.
-Can we talk now? –I didn’t ever bother turning around- I’d like to explain.
-You don’t owe me an explanation.
-I know, but I want to –he made a small pause- Look, I don’t want you to think that I lied to you because I didn’t.
-What do you want me to think then? –I poured the coffee and turned to look at him- Nick, the fact that you slept with a hooker and she appeared dead hours later.. I’m confused, because I was starting to know you and that doesn’t sound like the person I thought you were.
-I wasn’t her client and I’ve never used that kind of services.. –he breathed and gave a step closer- I knew Kristy because of this job, I helped her a couple times before and..
-Helped her? –I interrupted her- Nick, are you aware of what you’re saying?
-I know, you listen, please –he gave me puppy eyes and I couldn’t resist them even though I tried- What I told you yesterday was the truth, I met this friend of mine and we watched the game then, when we were leaving the place, I ran into her then I drove her home and.. well, you know what happened. We had this chemistry, you know?
-Yeah, I know.
I nodded slightly and kept my gaze steady to make him understand that my answer referred to what I had begun to feel for him. Luckily or not, I could tell that he understood, but I couldn’t read further.
-I’ve been wrong about a lot of people in my life and I’ve played their game, but that has helped me learn to know when someone is double-edged.. and you’re not –Nick raised his head and looked at me surprised- I never thought you killed her. I know you didn’t. You don’t have to worry about my thoughts of you, they haven’t changed. I doubted, yes but I still think you’re good person, not a killer.
I smiled at him and for a moment I could see relief in his eyes. Then I got up to leave, but when I was at the door, he spoke.
-Thank you, I really needed to hear that.
***
Catherine sent me a message saying that she had found the murder weapon. She compared the cord from the curtains with the markings found round Kristy’s neck and it was match. Now, all we needed to do was look for fingerprints or a piece of evidence that indicated that Nick didn’t kill her.
-Hey Cath, that was fast! –I met her at reception.
-Yeah, everything for Nicky –The clock from reception chimed, she looked around at the sound and checked it. She realized how late it was- Lindsey. The ballet class.
-Catherine, go. C’mon.
-I..I have to examine the murder weapon. Nick’s case is running out of time.
-I’ll do it right now, don’t worry –She looked again at the clock- Go.
-If you have any doubt, call me! –She said while she was leaving- I owe you one.
-No, you don’t!
I walked down the hallway with the evidence bag in my hand, ready to apply everything I had learned, when Grissom crossed my path.
-I was about to page you –he said- Norman Stirling and his son are at the interrogation room. I was wondering, since you’ve been with us for a few months, if you wanted to do your first interrogation.
Dilemma. Grissom had just offered me to conduct my first interrogation and I really felt prepared to do it but then I looked at the bag in my hands, and I couldn’t. Proving Nick’s innocence was more important than taking another step in my career. So, I had to refuse. Running against the clock, I looked for fingerprints on the cord, but there weren’t any. Then, I had an idea.
-Kristy Hopkins was strangled with this sash –I dropped the cord out onto the table in front of Greg- It’s fingerprint-free, but the force of the pull would have scratched off epithelials from the killer’s hands, right?
-Abraded, yeah.
-And you can extract DNA from epithelials?
-If they’re fresh enough- Greg took a swab from the cord and put the sample under the microscope- Epithelials are affirmative. I’m just going to need something to compare to.
-I read on the file case that Jack Willman has a prior for sexual assault, so his DNA is on file.
***
Nick was pacing the floor when I walked in the break room. When he saw me, he stopped and bit his lip. He was very nervous.
-Where’s Catherine?
-She had to leave, but don’t worry, I examined the murder weapon.
Nick nodded and tried to calm himself down. I was surprised.
-What? You’re not worried that the rookie examined the piece that can send you to jail? –I joked.
-No, I trust you.
Nick was playing with his hands and even though he was almost going to have a breakdown, those words came out naturally and calm. He was telling the truth. He trusted me and knowing that just made me grow my feelings for him.
-Jack Willman killed her.
Nick sighed and smiled as he walked towards me to give me a hug.
-Thank you.
His arms around squeezed me a fraction tighter and we both breathed more slowly. His embrace was warm, and his big, strong arms seemed very protective when wrapped around my body. The world around me melted away as I squeezed him back, not wanting the moment to end.
-Hey.. I’m just doing my job.. Besides, if they’d send you to jail I wouldn’t have my promised dinner.
-Laura –Grissom’s head popped out- The kid confessed everything. He put another bomb at Summit High School, we are going now to deactivate it. Though you wanted to come.
-Right behind you –I nodded.
-By the way, about that dinner.. –Nick made a pause- Anytime.
I smiled at him and followed Grissom. When we arrived, Grissom stopped the car and we ran out with the other officers. The students were running out of the school. As the last of them leave, Dominic exited the building carrying the package. He had the bomb in his hands.
-Dominic, stop! –I yelled- Stop right there. Put it down!
-No, it’s all right –he smiled- Everyone’s safe.
-No, no, no –Grissom yelled back- Drop it. It’s active!
Suddenly, Dominic stopped smiling and from his face I could tell he heard the clock timer ticking. Dominic looked down at the package in his hands. As we watched, the bomb exploded and we were thrown back by the impact of the explosion. Grissom checked on me a few seconds later, when we were able to sat up. Dominic gave his life for the students. He was the hero he always wanted to be.
#csi#csi las vegas#gil grissom#catherine willows#sara sidle#warrick brown#nick stokes#george eads#fanfic#csi fic
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The Prince and the Pauper, The Thief of Spades Season 2 Episode 1
I told myself I’d take a break from this story in between seasons, but I guess not. LOL
Welcome to Season 2! My promises to you: more hijinks! More kisses! More smut! ;)
Chapter Rating: T Warnings: bribery Summary: Arthur meets Gabriel’s partner and is dragged back into the fray. A prince attempts to strike a deal with a pauper. Word Count: ~1900
Read here on AO3. Tumblr Masterpost
“Ah, Inspector!” Gabriel greets Arthur warmly as he enters the familiar conference room. “I’m pleased you could join us.”
“Oui! Mon ami, it has been too long!” Francis says, leaping up from his seat to throw his arm around Arthur, kissing him congenially on the cheek though it lingers a bit.
Gabriel digs his thumb into Francis’ collarbone and pulls him away from Arthur. “Hedevary might have let you get away with sexual harassment, Bonnefoy, but rest assured, Agent Clark and I will not, am I understood?” He turns to Arthur. “If he gives you any trouble, let me know immediately.”
The new CIA agent is suddenly much more endeared to Arthur than he had been.
“It is all for fun, Agent Costa. No need to have such a stick up your—”
Ludwig coughs pointedly. “Good morning, Arthur. It is good to see you again,” he says affably, holding out his hand for Arthur.
Arthur shakes his hand firmly. “Likewise, Ludwig, although I do have other tasks to accomplish today, so if we could make this brief, I’d appreciate it.”
Gabriel nods. “Of course. We are only waiting for Agent Clark.”
As if on cue, the door opens, revealing a woman who can’t be taller than 162 cm with bright green eyes, delicate cheekbones and one of the most severe expressions Arthur has ever seen on a person. She adjusts her glasses primly and tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, though the rest of it is wound up in a braided bun.
“Alice!” Gabriel exclaims. “Impeccable timing as always. Inspector, this is my partner, Agent Alice Clark. She’s on loan from MI6.”
“Strange,” Alice retorts, “I thought you were on loan from the CIA.”
“We are on loan to each other,” Gabriel jokes dashingly.
Alice rolls her eyes.
“MI6, hmm?” Arthur says. “Odd, you don’t look like a mindless government buffoon,” he teases.
Alice seems to miss the good-natured intent and looks him up and down, scanning him with intense precision. “I suppose I could say the same about you,” she retorts dryly, “though I can’t say I see what all the fuss is about. You seem quite ordinary.”
“Yes well, if you ever figure it out, please let me know. I’m at a loss myself,” Arthur replies, suddenly remembering how much he hadn’t missed these meetings at all.
Alice’s lips quirk just slightly and she appraises Arthur again in a manner which indicates she respects his humility at the very least. “Alright, everyone please pay attention.” On the projection screen, she brings up a photo of well-appointed estate next to the photo of a man roughly in his late-thirties. “This estate once belonged to a marquess, but is now the property of Anglo-American tech mogul, Marcus Taylor. He’s best known for creating one of those little listening devices big tech companies convince people to put in their houses. Honestly, what a brilliant idea.” Alice laughs at her own little joke and Arthur notices Gabriel smiling fondly at her.
“Taylor is notoriously paranoid,” Gabriel jumps in, “so while the current blueprints are not available to the public, copies of the originals are still accessible through the Bodleian library, as well as two more schematics from the mid 1800’s and the early 1900’s. They are not much use to anyone, but regardless, Taylor has them flagged so that if they are requested several times in short succession, he gets an alert.”
“And someone matching the description of dear little Alfred has been checking them out, is that what you will say next?” Francis chimes in.
Alice raises her eyebrow at him. “Precisely. Taylor is a collector of modern art and the mansion on the estate currently houses several pieces. We believe one of them to be the the Thief of Spades’ next target. We need to figure out which one and then we need to apprehend him.”
Arthur gazes at the photo of the manor. He wonders what Alfred has planned. The thief has always had little interest in modern art, so unless Marcus Taylor has a stash of gems hidden somewhere in his fancy house, Arthur has doubts that Alfred has any serious intention on robbing it.
He looks around the room. Ludwig is scribbling in a notebook while Francis pours over the current blueprints of Taylor’s house and photos of the art pieces kept there. Alice is working at her computer and Gabriel appears to be flipping through previous Thief of Spades case files.
Arthur has once again left the real world for the bizarre realm of white collar mysteries and international intrigue and if there’s anything he knows about this world, it’s to keep his suspicions about Alfred to himself…
…at least until he can figure out what the thief is up to for himself.
♠︎♠︎♠︎♠︎♠︎
“Oh jeez, I’m sorry!” Twenty-three year old Matthew Williams apologizes and bends down to pick up his books after bumping into someone while on his way back to the library.
The Thief of Spades kneels down to help the frazzled Oxford student with a kind smile on his face and a mischievous spark in his eyes. “You’re totally fine, don’t worry about it.” As the two stand, Alfred hands the papers he collected back to the Canadian. “No harm done,” he says with no small amount of his signature charm.
“Thanks, eh,” Matt says as he rearranges his books and papers in his arms. “You American or—?” He pauses when he actually looks up at who he had bumped into. The guy could easily be his brother or even his twin, though he has a very distinctive enigmatic aura about him. “Woah,” he says. “I’m sorry it’s just… woah.”
“Yeah, we look a lot alike, don’t we?” Alfred says conversationally. “I actually want to talk to you about that. Wanna get a drink?”
Matt eyes the man suspiciously and holds his books tightly against his chest. “Have you been following me?”
Alfred ducks his head a little to make a good show of seeming sheepish. “Only since I saw you about a week ago when I was using the library here to do research. I couldn’t believe it, you know? But, you see, I could really use your help. Let me buy you a drink and hear me out. If you say no, I’ll never bother you again, I swear.”
“Um. No.” Matt snaps sharply. He turns on heel and begins walking swiftly away from the stranger, thinking if he should call the police.
“Suit yourself, but I’ve got a proposition for you. It would mean no more of those pesky student loan payments.”
Matt stops in his tracks. “I’m Canadian, you idiot. I don’t have massive student debt,” he bluffs.
Alfred takes a few careful steps closer. “Sure you do. You’ve got dual citizenship, haven’t you, Mr. Williams? You foolishly chose to go to college in the US and now you’ve got about… oh what is it? Sixty-five thousand, seven hundred and twenty-three dollars in debt? Give or take? Plus whatever you’re racking up here at this ultra-fancy establishment of higher learning.”
Matt’s brain starts buzzing as he turns around to glare at the stranger. “How do you know any of that?”
Alfred’s face turns serious. “Listen. I could have played around with you. I could have gotten to be your friend and led you on and pretended to discover all this information from you directly, but, quite frankly, that seems disrespectful, dishonorable, and like it’d be a waste of time. So either you can come with me and have a drink and hear me out or I can disappear right now and you’ll be left wondering forever, always looking over your shoulder.”
Thinking that he is truly in the company of the strangest person he’ll ever meet, Matt finds himself actually intrigued. “Fine. I’ll go with you, but I don’t consume alcohol in the middle of a term.”
Alfred shrugs and grins, pleased to have hooked his serendipitous doppelgänger into at least listening to his proposal. “Coffee then. It’s better if you’re sober anyway. My name’s Alfred, by the way.”
“I’m Matt, though it seems you already know that.”
“Yup. Come on, I know a good place.” Alfred turns and starts walking, only throwing one surreptitious glance over his shoulder to make sure Matt is following him.
Once the waitress at the cafe brings their coffee, Matt pipes up, “Are you some kind of spy or government agent? I’m a biology student. I’m only working on my Masters, I don’t have access to any sort of secret information.”
Alfred laughs. “I know, that’s not it. I’m only interested in you because you look a hell of a lot like me. In my… line of work, I often find myself needing to be in two places at once.”
“You need an alibi,” Matt says flatly. “Don’t sugarcoat it. If you’re not with the government, then you’re a criminal of some kind, right?”
“So they say,” Alfred replies casually. “It all depends on your definition.”
“Spoken like a true felon,” Matt quips. He freezes as a horrifying thought occurs to him. “You’re not a murderer, are you? Because if you are, I’m leaving right now.” He doesn’t think he’ll get an honest answer, but his moral compass compels him to ask.
Alfred’s lip curls in disgust. “No. I don’t hurt anyone. I… relocate certain valuable objects from one place to another… on occasion.”
The look on Alfred’s face is so poignant that it convinces Matt enough to stay and listen at least. “So you’re a thief. Fine. I guess I can deal with that. So what’s this proposition, exactly?”
Alfred grins. “I just need you to be seen in certain places at certain times. I promise it won’t be frequent. I also promise to never bullshit you, so I’ll tell you it could be dangerous for you. And, of course, if it comes down to it, I’d always get you out, but there’s a chance you could get arrested if we don’t play our cards right.”
“Then why for fuck’s sake would I ever agree to it?”
Alfred takes a sip of his coffee. This is the fun part. “Because if you agree, I will pay off all your student loans.”
Matt’s eyes go wide.
“And I will finance your Master’s degree, including room and board. Books. Food. Whatever you need. If you agree to help me right now, all of that is guaranteed. If you become very useful to me, I might be persuaded to finance your doctorate, that is, should you decide to pursue one.”
Matt chokes and then coughs and then turns red and looks down at his coffee. “I’m not sure I want my education to be bankrolled by a criminal.”
Alfred shrugs. “Suit yourself. I don’t need you, exactly, but it would make my life easier to have someone like you around. Take it or leave it. Like I said, if you say no, then you’ll never see me again, I swear.” He stands up and throws a few quid on the table, more than enough to pay for the coffee. He hands Matt a slip of paper with an email address on it. “If you decide to accept my offer, use this. Or give it to a government agency of your choosing. Or just toss it. It’s up to you.”
He walks out the door, leaving Matt Williams, a twenty-three year old Canadian biology student at Oxford who happens to have the same face as the Thief of Spades, with a lot to think about.
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Easily
*Not my Gif*
Request: Im back lol, I was wondering if you could write me an angsty/fluffy Bellamy fic based on the song “Easily” by Bruno Major? Thank you again 💀🖤
Requested By: @yessii-i
Post Date: 7-4-19
Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader
Word Count: 1.2K
Listen to Easily by Bruno Major Here
~Prompt List~
~Master List~
Requests are closed
Song lyrics are in bold
Don't you tell me that it wasn't meant to be
Call it quits
Call it destiny
Just because it won't come easily
Doesn't mean we shouldn't try
You tossed back another cup of moonshine before collapsing your arms onto your knees in front of you.
"Rough morning?" someone said behind you. You kept your eyes closed as you groaned a yes and you heard them join you on the log. You weren't sure who they were until they chuckled, body vibrating as it touched you. Bellamy. You quickly shot up as you met his eyes. The same eyes that you fell in love with. The same eyes who broke your heart.
"What do you want Blake?" He noticed the coldness in your voice as he felt his heart drop. He didn't mean to hurt you, he loved you, it was just to hard. The world was going to end and love wasn't the easiest thing right now. You both had been through too much and Bellamy knew he had to keep his mind on saving everyone, on saving you, not getting distracted on loving you. Clarke was making the list, they were trying to find a way for everyone to survive, but one thing was bothering him. He never even knew how you felt. He didn't know how much it killed you as much as it killed him, but you'd never tell him.
Bellamy swallowed down his guilt as he put his hands up in fake surrender. "Just wanted to talk." You rolled your eyes as you got yourself another drink.
"About what?"
"Us." You chuckled as you downed another cup of Monty's moonshine, your new favorite drink.
"I thought there was no us, you called it quits remember? Saying we just weren't meant to be." You spat as you avoided his gaze. All you wanted to do was to look into his eyes. Drown in the smooth pool of his brown eyes and never come back up for air. But you couldn't, you wouldn't. Instead you finished off the last bit in your cup before getting up to leave. Bellamy reached out, grabbing your wrist as your movements stopped. You bit your lip as the noise of Arkadia filled your ears, causing you to try and block out Bellamy.
"I miss you." His words were quiet as they floated in your mind, letting you relive all the great moments you had with him, as well as the bad moments. He still had a hold on your wrist as you turned to look down at it. You closed your eyes as your skin tingled under his touch, wanting more than anything to feel more.
"You lost the chance to miss me when you broke up with me. You know Bell, just because our relationship wouldn't come easily doesn't mean doesn't mean you shouldn't try." Bellamy's grip loosened as you took the opportunity to walk away, running into Clarke on your way to your room.
We had a good thing going lately
Might not have always been a fairy tale
But you know and I know
That they ain't real
I'll take the truth over the story
"Woah, what's wrong?" She quickly asked as you wiped away your stray tears. You shook your head as you pushed past her, moving onto your room as Clarke followed. "Y/N, are you okay?"
You looked up at the sight of one of your closest friends. You took a shaky breath as Clarke sat next to you on the bed. "He misses me?! He broke up with me and he thinks he has the right to tell me he misses me?" your voice cracked as you let your head fall into your hands, running one through your hair as Clarke rubbed your back. You appreciated the comfort, the quietness of your room much better than the rowdiness of the former environment. Bellamy had followed you after you ran off, watching as Clarke and you headed into your room, standing in the doorway just out of sight.
"And you want to know what the worst part of the whole thing is? I miss him too. I mean it wasn't perfect, it wasn't anywhere near a fairytale, but it was good. It was good because I had him." You whispered as you leaned into Clarke. Bellamy couldn't take it anymore, he slowly pushed the old creaking door open and stepped into the small room as your puffy eyes met his red puffed ones. No one spoke, not even Clarke who was taking many glances between the two of you before deciding to leave you be. She released her hold on you before stepping past Bellamy. He wasn't sure if he should've moved, should've stayed there or sat down but he went with the latter. You moved yourself to push up against the wall as your eyes never left his.
He reached over to gently grab your hand and you let him. "I don't want a fairy tale. I just want the truth, I just want you."
You might have tried my patience lately
But I'm not about to let us fail
I'll be the wind picking up your sail
But won't you do something for me?
Coming and going
Inside out
Back to front
Oh, tangled and messy
That's how we've been and we'll always be
And that's alright with me
"I love you. I've always loved you Bellamy. And I always will, no matter how infuriating and annoying you get trying to test my patience." You gave him a smile as his hand tightened around yours. Without a second thought, he pulled you into him, warmth flooding your body at the familiarity. You missed him. When you pulled apart, you let your head fall into his chest and he wrapped his arms around your body. Warm tears spilled from your eyes unto his shirt, causing you to laugh as he cried and kiss your head.
"I love you too, Y/N. You keep me sane, I'm not gonna fail you again. I'm not about to let us fail." You nodded your head, still enveloped in his arms as you gave him a squeeze.
"Bell? Could you- Could you do something for me?" You moved your head to look up at his nodding ones, eyes glossy as you touched his cheek. "We're a mess. We're screwed up, inside out, back to front, basically whatever you want to call it, that's us. I love you Bellamy. With everything in me and I don't want to lose you again. Don't give up so easily, because that's how we've been and we'll always be. Is that okay?" He couldn't help but laugh at your words. You were right, Earth screwed you guys up big time. But he couldn't help but feel like you were his destiny. He pulled you in for another kiss, your hands finding his hair as he pulled your body into his. His mouth moved closely to your ear as you blushed.
"That's alright with me." He pushed you softly against the bed underneath you two as he joined you quickly after. You closed your eyes as your head fell onto his chest, listening to the thumping of his heart as your arms wrapped around each other. He leaned down to place a kiss on your head as began to drift off to sleep easily in his arms.
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Don’t Make Me Spell It Out For You, Part 1/6
briefest of brief summaries: clarke kind of hates her neighbor because lexa hates fun or something. aka & they were neighbors
//
okay, so finally writing this as a fic. i could’ve definitely made this a one-shot, but i divided it into 6 parts (of varying lengths) to have fun with it, and i’m cleaning it up and adding more. also managed to hit several of the classic au prompts: fratboy!clarke, neighbors/girl next door, (kinda) enemies to friends to lovers, city au, useless lesbian/bisexual, & one bed. hope you enjoy.
titles courtesy of Janelle Monae.
EDIT: apparently this entire thing just up and disappeared when i made a small edit on mobile. fixed it. thanks tumblr for being generally awful.
//
1. all the feelings that i’ve got for you
//
You love and hate living in New York—love the diversity, art scene, local parks, trips to the Bronx Zoo, concerts in Prospect Park, and (finally) earning a living wage after graduating two years ago. You hate the MTA’s ceaseless delays, the owners of the dog barking outside your window every morning, rude restaurant guests who tip poorly, and the puddles that seem to always be on the sidewalks even when it hasn’t rained for days. You love your neighborhood but hate how old your building is—tiny living space, worn out hardwood flooring that slopes, the distinct off-off-white color of it all, and the incredibly thin walls.
You also recently determined that you’re really starting to hate your neighbor.
//
The first time you receive a knock at the door, it’s understandable.
Raven is, in her own words, “Queens, born and raised, and therefore a die-hard Mets fan.” It’s not always clear because most of the time she spends watching games, she’s swearing at the players and coaches, and groaning, “I fucking hate this goddamn team.”
So you’re sitting between Raven and Octavia late one night, watching the Mets play the Padres, drinking beer, and shoveling pizza into your mouths, when an unexpected home run has Raven jumping to her feet and shouting, “I fucking love this goddamn team!” She does a dance and claps as the Mets celebrate their two run lead.
A soft knock at the door interrupts Raven high-fiving you and O repeatedly less than a minute later. You all exchange looks and you roll your eyes when Raven and O look at you expectantly. You stand up, take a swig of beer, and open the front door.
A stunning but half-asleep girl, about your age, is standing on your old, beat up Welcome mat. You figure she’s your neighbor, but you hardly see anyone else who lives in the apartment building, not to mention the number of people who move in and out throughout the year. Your assumed neighbor is in her pajamas—a Columbia grad school t-shirt, striped shorts, and some moccasin slippers—and her hair is a mix of brown waves and curls, tousled no doubt from struggling to sleep. Her grey-green eyes remind you to finish your painting of a storm at sea.
“Sorry,” you say quickly, then explain, “West Coast Mets game.”
The other girl just nods.
“We’ll keep it down. Sorry again,” you say, offering a small smile.
Your neighbor doesn’t reciprocate and just turns around to go back to her apartment. You feel guilty as you gently shut the door.
“Well, that’s one way to meet your new-ish neighbor,” Octavia says before drinking from her beer.
“It is two in the morning,” you say with a shrug.
“She’s been here for over a month. This shit-hole I call home is nicknamed the City that Never Sleeps for a reason,” Raven says, taking an aggressive bite from her slice of pizza. “Also the Mets are winning!” she adds as she chews, “That, like, never happens, so she should respect my devotion to this piece of shit team.”
You and O just roll your eyes, and you hope the pizza and beer will keep Raven busy enough and her mouth full to prevent further yelling.
//
The second time Lexa—you read her mailbox label—knocks at your door, you expect it.
You get home from a killer shift and Raven is scrolling through Hulu and the like for something to watch, so when you say you never saw John Wick 2, she immediately tells you to “sit your ass down and watch this shit.”
You can’t hear the dialogue over the crunching of the chips you’re sharing with Raven, so you keep turning up the volume. Raven gets up to use the bathroom as you watch the scene unfold.
Then his house explodes.
For a brief moment you think the apartment is too because the surround sound speakers Raven has set up shakes the floor and walls. You scramble to turn down the volume and manage to pause the movie.
Raven’s head immediately pops out from the bathroom to look at you with her mouth hanging open in slight horror. “Oh no…”
You look at the time. It’s 12:30AM. “Shit.”
You realize you’re holding your breath when you hear the light knocking ten seconds later.
“Hi,” you say, feeling stupid as you look at another form of tired Lexa. She’s got her glasses on this time and a Les Mis tee to accompany a different set of striped sleep shorts, but her hair is in the same state of lovely disarray as it was a week ago. Eyes still quiet storms.
“Could you just turn it down a bit?”
“Already did. Sorry. It was hard to hear the movie and then something blew up… on screen, I mean.” You question if you ever actually learned the English language or had a normal social interaction with an attractive person before. Whether bars, clubs, or even work, you can typically charm people’s pants off. Apparently in your own apartment, all it takes is a pretty girl with messy hair and full lips to throw you off whatever game you can manage.
“Thanks,” is all Lexa says in response.
After you close the door, you turn to a still shocked Raven with her mouth agape. “Okay, so that one was fair,” she admits.
“Is there a thin-apartment-walls setting for your sound system?”
//
The third time Lexa knocks at your door is the last straw.
You have the night off after a 45 hour work week, carrying 20-pound boxes of wine up and down the stairs, memorizing five new menu items and an entirely new cocktail menu. Do you love the restaurant industry? No. But you’re decent at it and it pays double what the YMCA paid you for children’s after-school art lessons.
You manage to crawl out of bed around two in the afternoon, and proceed to drink an entire Britta’s worth of water before refilling it and sticking it back in the fridge. You probably shouldn’t have had the last two (or five) shots you took last night after work with your coworkers.
You hear the familiar sound of Raven coming up the steps and her keys in the door as you plop yourself into the chair at the small table that separates the kitchen from the living room.
“You’re home early,” you say, Raven is helping her mechanical engineering company collaborate on a big project with MoMA, so she’s been working ten hour shifts, six days a week.
Raven, despite looking exhausted, lifts her fist above her head in victory. “And I have tomorrow off! I’m going out!”
You groan, and Raven just laughs. “I heard you stumble in last night, so it’s cool. I’m going out with O and Lincoln later. I have pot, and you look like you need a cannabis miracle.”
You smoke some of Raven’s weed, and while it does make you feel better, it doesn’t do much for the lethargy part of your hangover. You order delivery for the both of you and wait, sprawled out on the couch in the living room while Raven showers. You snap out of your daze when Janelle Monae’s voice starts to pour out the bluetooth speakers, and you let out a full belly laugh as Raven dramatically exits the bathroom into your line of sight, dressed in only a towel with another wrapped around her head, using her phone as a microphone.
“Live my life on birth control. I lost my mind on rock and roll,” Raven sings, spinning through the kitchen to the living room. She points at you as she continues to sing along and dance. You join her and turn up the volume at the chorus.
You’re both belting along, dancing all sexy despite the fact that Raven’s in a towel and you’re still in a baggy shirt and sweatpants. Raven takes a small hit from her bowl and passes it back to you.
You’re not sure how long she was knocking, but it took a set of louder-than-usual knocks for you to hear it. You look at Raven and briefly feel like you’re back in your college dorm together and resist the urge to chuck the bowl in your hand out the window.
“Really?” Raven mouths, gesturing at the clock reading 3PM.
“What do I do?” you ask. Yeah, you’re moderately stoned.
Raven turns the volume down a bit. “I don’t know, but I’m naked,” Raven says, trying to appear serious before snorting and running to her room to put on clothes.
“Fine, I can just go fuck myself, yeah?” you stage whisper after her.
“Heeeeeey,” you say, opening the door and leaning against the doorframe.
Lexa still looks tired but is wearing a nicer version of your own outfit—jogger sweats, a UMD tee, and some red TOMS she evidently shoved onto her feet without pulling the backs over her heels.
“Your music… It’s distracting me, and just… Could you just turn it down a little, please?” Lexa asks with a light sigh.
“Sure thing,” you reply, and, christ, give her a thumbs up.
You’re sure Lexa can smell the pot, but she doesn’t say anything. She just shuffles back to her apartment, and you close the door not-as-gently-as-usual before turning off the stereo.
Raven walks back into the living room, now fully clothed, and sits on the couch with a dramatic sigh. She grabs her bowl and takes a hit.
“Who, like, gets fucking mad about Janelle Monae? On a Friday? At 3PM?” you ask, taking the bowl Raven offers.
“Someone who hates fun,” Raven says, blowing smoke out her nose and mouth.
//
In the week following the last knocking incident, you decide you don’t like Lexa Woods, maybe even hate her and her stupid university sleep shirts and stormy eyes. Sure, she’s got her beautiful hair and maybe you’ve thought about how soft her lips probably are once or twice; none of that stops you from declaring her the Enemy of Fun.
You’re not sure what mood you’re in, but you are sure that you drank a lot of gin at O and Lincoln’s engagement party. Raven jokes that gin makes you aggressive, a really dumb “fight me” kind of aggressive.
“She can fucking knock all she wants,” you huff, sitting down on the couch to stop the room from spinning. “Like, what? Are we not allowed to have fun anymore?”
“I know, but let’s try not to have tonight be another night where she comes knocking.”
“I’ll tell her what’s what. Come on, fucking Janelle Monae?” you say, waving your arms in exasperation. “And why not? I fucking dare her to come over. I thought you hated her too?”
“I mean, I think she kind of sucks, but hate is a little dramatic. You’re also pretty confrontational right now, so I don’t want a knock tonight,” Raven says with a chuckle, and you realize she’s far more sober than you as she pours you a glass of water.
“I’d win in a fight.”
“Right.”
“I would.”
“Of course, Clarke.”
“I hate her.”
“Sure.”
//
next
#clexa au#clexa#fic: don't make me spell it out for you#that's long so#fic: dmm#or just#nn au#ccf fic#ccf#clexafic#clexa fanfic#ccf fanfiction#ny neighbors au
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Superman #81 (September 1993)
REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN! The secret origin of the Cyborg Superman! We find out that the genocidal robot guy posing as the dearly departed Supes is actually someone we've seen before -- a seemingly minor threat from the past, supposedly lost in the vastness of space. That's right, the Cyborg is in reality... freaking Psi-Phon and Dreadnaught.
No, not really. The Cyborg is none other than astronaut Hank Henshaw, the Reed Richards analogue from that "Fantastic Four, but they all die horribly" story in Adventures #466.
Two months after that, in Adventures #468, we found out that Hank's mind had survived by jumping into a LexCorp computer after his irradiated body fell apart. Hank builds himself a dorky new robot body, but unfortunately, his wife couldn't handle seeing him in that state and went catatonic... and died, too, apparently? Or at least Hank and his minions seem to think so. At this point, Hank decided to jump into Superman’s Kryptonian baby rocket and leave the Earth because his powers were messing with our satellites, and also to avoid being sued by the creators of Johnny-5.
Anyway, Hank traveled the universe for a while until he bumped into the little backwater planet currently ruled by Mongul, former leader of Warworld (last seen running away all the way back in Adventures #455). Hank basically zapped Mongul until the big yellow oaf agreed to become his lackey on his quest to get revenge on Superman for supposedly failing to save his fantastic friends. Upon finding out Superman was dead, however, Hank came up with another plan: using the DNA from the Kryptonian baby rocket to make himself a new body that looks like Superman and nuking the Earth's cities to ruin his good name.
Meanwhile, in Metropolis, the mysterious long-haired Superman in the black suit is having trouble convincing Lois, Lex Luthor Jr., Steel and Superboy that he's the real deal. For starters, he doesn't even have any powers. Lois looks more convinced after she and man in black share a (pretty familiar looking) kiss, but he can't use that same tactic on all the others. Eventually, he gets tired of all the arguing, grabs some flying boots from one of Lex's armored bodyguards, and says he's just gonna go stop the Cyborg and the others can join him if they want to. Superboy and Steel are like, "ugh, FINE, we'll go too." CONTINUED!
Character-Watch:
I’d be really interested in seeing a story about how, exactly, Hank started hating Superman. He still seemed pretty sane at the end of his last appearance, and left willingly to avoid interfering with the Earth’s communication systems. I guess the vastness of space drove him mad, but I’d still like to see his evolution from Sadder Reed Richards to Crazier Doctor Doom. My personal theory is that being inside LexCorp’s computers had something to do with it. Maybe some remnants from Brainiac’s mind (remember he also lived inside LexCorp at one point) combined with seeing Luthor’s secret porn stash drove Hank insane.
Also, we never actually saw his wife’s death (how did Hank find out about it, anyway?) and every comic book reader knows that if it didn’t happen on panel, it didn’t happen. So, I think another interesting Cyborg story would be Hank finding out she’s still alive, but her death is such a central part of his delusion that he refuses to believe it and maybe ends up killing her. (Call me, DC! I have a really good artist friend.)
Plotline-Watch:
Hank’s story is being told by two of his alien minions, a guy who looks like a lion crossed with an Ewok and a guy whose gonads are apparently hanging from his face, all 12 of them. Spin-off series, please.
There’s a brief update on the Eradicator’s state: he’s “healing well” at the Fortress of Solitude, but the Fortress robots are worried that he’ll be sad he missed Kal-El’s return in Metropolis.
The man in black references various moments from the Lois/Clark relationship to try to convince her that he’s telling the truth, like when they got engaged, when he came out as Superman, that time they had their little mountain talk, and, uh... something else. Don Sparrow wonders: “That rainy night in July when we first WHAT Clark? It wasn’t raining the night they first kissed. Hmmmmmm.” It was raining... Jose Delgado’s tears. (Also, funny that it was the “Fantastic Four” issue.)
Lois’ reluctance to believe that the man in black is Superman is understandable given that, as she points out, she’s gone through this four times already. The first thing that gets her to listen to him is when he says “To Kill a Mockingbird” -- which, as we learned in Superman #67, was Clark’s favorite movie. And then there’s the kiss, which is a hairier remake of the kiss they shared before he died in Superman #75.
How come Supergirl doesn’t join the Team Superman on their mission to stop the Cyborg? Because Lex Jr. didn’t give her permission, while calling her “my pet”. I’m starting to think their relationship isn’t that healthy.
Dan Jurgens is clearly a fan of Dave Gibbons’ take on Mongul in Alan Moore’s For the Man Who Has Everything...
...but the art department is Don Sparrow’s turf, so I’ll let just him talk about that and other stuff I missed in his section, after the jump!
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
I love this issue. Starting with the cover, which lets us know in no uncertain terms that they’re no longer playing around—big things are happening. Besides being a great drawing, I love the relative silence of the image, and how it plays. When you see it, you just have to open it to find out what’s really going on, and whether the man himself might really be back. It’s such a good cover, that I can forgive it for the sleight of hand with the Tarzan hair, which for some reason they have been hiding in recent issues. [Max: I still think they had no idea he’d have long hair when they made these covers.]
Inside we’re greeted with another great splash (honestly, we’re in the peak era of the Jurgens and Breeding team here, as the next few issues of Superman are every bit as good as the Death storyline, visually, so it was hard for me not to scan every darn page!) and I love the different facial expressions here, with Lex and Lois having expressions of disbelief (though that disbelief is clearly motivated differently between the characters) to the determination and spunk of the Metropolis Kid to the cool authoritative detachment of the Man of Steel at the back.
More great body language on the next two page splash, as—to me-- Jurgens and Breeding convey, just with a pose, that the real Kal-El has returned. Though we’ll learn he’s mostly depowered (thanks to the Eradicator using Kal-El’s regeneration matrix as his own energy piggy-bank) he still holds himself with the confidence and invulnerability we expect from Superman. Am I reading too much into a single panel? Almost certainly. But man, this looks great.
There’s also some great character work from Lois throughout, and they draw her conflicted facial expressions really well, as she just can’t allow herself to hope that this really is what it appears to be—the love of her life, returned to her. I’m sure the Eradicator wearing his face for all these months can’t have helped either.
As we cut back to Engine City, we get another view of how amazingly this art team draws tech, followed immediately by possibly the most painful thing the Cyborg does in these pages—full force heat vision to Mongul’s junk. Ouch. Ok, maybe that’s not as bad as blowing up a whole city, or annihilating a handful of survivors, but still. [Max: He annihilated millions of Mongul’s future children.]
The flashback to the Cyborg Superman’s origins is cleverly delivered, thanks to the alien mercenary’s “pocket ‘puter”. The image of Henshaw reassembling himself (apparently into Johnny 5) is particularly well drawn, and deeply unnerving. There’s also a great image of the bored dissatisfied Mongul on the throne. I wonder if the alien he’s telling the story to minds his conquered planet being referred to as “simple” though.
As with the Engine City pages, Jurgens and Breeding excel at drawing technology, so the freaky dragon creature Henshaw into which converts Mongul’s ship is a great piece of art. The full page splash with Cyborg Superman in his current form is one of the better images of the character as well.
The heart of this issue, though, is the slow change in Lois, who has held on for so long without Clark by being tough. As Superman speaks to her about their life together, she is finally able to melt. As with earlier in the book, the emotions on her face are so well done in this transition.
I love the callback of their kiss, and how it mirrors the tender moment from Superman #75. And, in a storytelling device that they’d use again on shows like Smallville, it is the familiarity of his kiss that convinces her that it really is her fiancé. Goosebumps, man! This is beautiful, romantic stuff. And in true Superman fashion, he just can’t stand around and celebrate the reunion—there’s a job to do, and it falls to him to do it. More goosebumps. STRAY OBSERVATIONS
A recurring thing in these pages is the artists playing fast and loose with just how tall Steel is. Sure, he’s got the platform jet boots, but at times he is depicted as gigantic as his silver-screen counterpart, and other times he seems roughly as tall as anyone else. This issue veers into the gigantic.
I’m glad he’s back in any form, but it is a bit tough to see Superman wincing at being squeezed on the shoulder by Steel.
Yeesh, we get it, Henshaw’s team were supposed to be analogues for the Fantastic Four, you can stop using the word “fantastic” to remind us. The other hints at it were plenty.
Funny that even that long ago, a handheld computer was the stuff of science fiction, while today, you might be reading this on a “pocket computer” smaller and more powerful than the one the alien holds. [Max: And whilst sitting on the toilet.]
While it’s not the focus of the panel, when the Cyborg “forms the shape of a man” he sure looks a heck of a lot like the Ed Hannigan design of Brainiac from the 80s.
I love that Jurgens, knowing he’s picked up a lot of new readers with this storyline, makes it ULTRA easy to follow, even having the narrating alien say, “still not understand?” before recapping the recap from the previous pages.
I dig the slow burn on Lex Luthor II, and that his villainous nature is creeping out more and more. When he calls Supergirl his “pet”, it doesn’t sound affectionate, but literal here. [Max: Hey, when did Superboy get that Soder Cola? Does a soda vendor follow him around, like Homer Simpson and the hot dogs guy?]
I will never tire of Superboy’s “cool” 1990s speak. Rather than read it as a middle aged writer trying to use hip lingo, it could be read as Superboy being “raised” by pop culture. Because he was rapidly aged, maybe his entire knowledge of the world was programmed by others, who were guessing at how a young person speaks? So he’s not trying to be cool—it’s literally all he knows. But what I still don’t understand is where Robin came from!
Reading this issue for the first time, I still (mistakenly) worried that the man in black wasn’t the real Superman. This was both because the Eradicator, in his healing bath, has Superman hair (even though we saw his hair get blown off last issue) and because I misunderstood the Kryptonian robot’s line of dialogue about ‘the master wanting to be there when Kal-El arose’. Though this is actually a confirmation that Kal-El has indeed arisen, I thought it meant that the guy in the bath was the real Kal-El. Plus, Steel has been the character the most “right” and in-tune with the spirit of Superman, and throughout this issue, he’s very dubious of the man in black being the real Superman, even saying how it seems to wrong. Which I read as a hint that maybe there was another twist coming.
#superman#dan jurgens#brett breeding#steel#superboy#Awesome Kryptonian Battle Robot#hank henshaw#mongul#fantastic four#eradicator#kelex#lil lion guy and gonad face#reign of the supermen
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