#someone might be a lil too obsessed with my green light
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kinsagi · 3 months ago
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Yuriii
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adamgant · 1 year ago
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143: All about fascia and movement as medicine with Anna Rahe
143: All about fascia and movement as medicine with Anna Rahe https://ift.tt/8vKposL Hi friends! Hope you’re having a wonderful week! Today, I have a new podcast episode live! This was a super fascinating conversation with the founder of GST Body, Anna Rahe. I had so much fun talking with her and learned a ton – definitely take a listen. 143: All about fascia and movement as medicine with Anna Rahe Here’s what we talk about in today’s episode: What is fascia – and why it might be the key to your body’s physical wellness How fitness can be therapeutic, and how you can use motion as medicine Why you don’t need someone else to fix your body problems, and how you can manipulate and control the outcome of your own health A daily exercise your audience can implement right now to take control of your body’s health and so.much.more. Here’s a bit more about Anna and her background: For the past 20+ years, Anna Rahe has delved deep into a liberating and empowering relationship with fascia so that as many people as possible can invest in their health, restore their vitality, and heal themselves with the proprietary tools she has created. As the founder, CEO and educator of GST Body, Anna has spoken about holistic body care through fascia around the world, partnered with top athletes, surgeons, physicians and celebrities, and been featured in various publications, from Shape to Elle, Net-a-Porter to The Wall Street Journal. You can check out GST Body here and connect with her on Instagram here. More resources from this episode: I love love love the meals from Sakara Life! Use this link and the code XOGINAH for 20% off their meal delivery and clean boutique items. This is something I do once a month as a lil treat to myself and the meals are always showstoppers. You can join their fall reset now! If any of my fellow health professional friends are looking for another way to help their clients, I highly recommend IHP. You can also use this information to heal yourself and then go one to heal others, which I think is a beautiful mission. You can absolutely join if you don’t currently work in the health or fitness industry; many IHPs don’t begin on this path. They’re friends who are passionate to learn more about health and wellness, and want to share this information with those they love. You can do this as a passion, or start an entirely new career. You can use my referral link here and the code FITNESSISTA for up to $250 off the Integrative Health Practitioner program. I highly recommend it! You can check out my review IHP Level 1 here! I just finished IHP2 and will share a review of my experience, too. I’m still obsessed with my sauna blanket. This is one of my favorite ways to relax and sweat it out. I find that it energizes me, helps with aches and pains, I sleep better on the days I use this, and it makes my skin glow. Link to check it out here. You can also use my discount (FITNESSISTA15) for the PEMF Go Mat, which I use every day, and the red light face mask, which is a staple in my weekly skincare routine. Get 15% off Organifi with the code FITNESSISTA. I drink the green juice, red juice, gold, and Harmony! (Each day I might have something different, or have two different things. Everything I’ve tried is amazing.) Thank you so much for listening and for all of your support with the podcast! Please be sure to subscribe, and leave a rating or review if you enjoyed this episode. If you leave a rating, head to this page and you’ll get a little “thank you” gift from me to you.  The post 143: All about fascia and movement as medicine with Anna Rahe appeared first on The Fitnessista. via The Fitnessista https://ift.tt/7mNf5GI October 26, 2023 at 06:30AM
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goliath-de-senfina-sango · 4 years ago
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Teller of Tales
The trio head through the portal to explore Danny's brand spanking new Sanctuary and are a little awed by all that he managed to make.  They meet a facinating new ghost, who has a deal for them.
ao3
When Danny took Sam and Tucker through the portal and into his Sanctuary, he was glad to see that he wasn’t the only one floored by how much of it there was, or how complex it had turned out. “I don’t think I’ve ever even made a drawing this complicated and detailed before,” he said as they reached the roof of the main portal building and house. It was at the heart of what looked to be a town or maybe even a city, which was surrounded by a dense forest, with a mountain to one side, a massive body of water that Danny would call a lake but that looked so vast an ocean felt more appropriate on the other, and even misty clouds of every kind of color he could see passing by a point of brilliant light. “I’m glad it’s been keeping Walker out as much as it has, and every other ghost too. That means we can explore it!”
“Danny, this place is magnificent!” Tucker wrapped him up in a tight hug and squeezed nearly hard enough to crack his back. “Dude, you made a whole ass town that’s almost as big as Amity Park! I wonder how stocked up this place is. You’ve got copies of our hoverboards here too, so what are we waiting for?”
“I say we take a look at that forest, it’s practically screaming ‘enchanted and full of mystery’, and maybe we can even figure out what all goes on in that head of yours.” Sam poked Danny’s head with a laugh and called up her own backup hoverboard, hopping over the ledge and onto it before Tucker could catch up. Tucker, of course, swerved off to see if he could find anything substantial in the town, which meant splitting up, which had Danny reaching out to grab them both.
“Guys hold up! Are we really gonna go into a freshly made place that I made mostly subconsciously while in ghost form and do it while splitting up? Are we the Scooby gang?”
“Take full offense from this but you’re baby,” Tucker said with a snort. “Your subconscious mind didn’t come up with anything that might hurt us.”
“Maybe not on purpose, but I might’ve made some parts of this place uninhabitable to regular humans, but perfectly safe for a ghost to be floating around in.” After all, a ghostly mind set deeply into a Passion could easily forget things like safety regulations for squishy humans. Young Blood wasn’t even malicious or Obsessive and look at how he’d turned out.
Sam rolled her eyes but circled back around to the boys. “Fine, we can stick together and tour your McMansion together, you lil show off, but if so then how about we take a look at the edges to see what we can learn about how well defended this place is? It’s meant to be your Sanctuary, so you’ve gotta have some way of keeping ghosts out without just shotting at them.”
“We can work our way through the town and out into the forest, guys, you know that right? We’re literally starting from the middle.” Danny sighed, shaking his head. “The defenses are clearly working because nothing’s actually done anything to us yet, they can wait.”
It took a bit of back and forth but eventually, they all decided on a direction to go and headed for the lake instead of the mountain. After all, if the water was safe for humans, they could all go for a swim. The trio set off and found what looked to be empty homes, some buildings that could be shops, a few restaurants that just needed stocking up and customers, and other places that looked all but ready to be populated by people stuck on the ground and people who could fly. There was a warehouse full of Focuses, cameras, and replicas of every robot or project that Danny and Tucker had ever put together before, along with a few that stored Fentonworks non-violent products too. “This place looks like someone’s fantasy dream town where you can sit, relax, chat up a ghost, and then head off into the unknown in your very own - oh wow, Danny is that the Specter Speeder?”
“Well, I may have gone over Mom and Dad’s blueprints a while back for it, but only because I wanted to see if I could develop ya know, a space ship from it.” Danny felt his cheeks burning and gave Tucker’s shoulder a light punch to try and wipe the grin off his face. “Shut up.”
“Actually, the closer we get to the forest, the more ‘port town’ vibes I’m getting,” Sam mused. “Danny, didn’t you say you wanted to be a pirate once when you were a kid?”
“Shut uuup, noo.” Danny pulled his hood over his face, even as he turned invisible. Ok, so maybe it did look like the perfect place for a pirate who hit land on an undiscovered island to have set up their own little town. That proved nothing.
Just as Sam opened her mouth to keep teasing him, Danny popped into visibility and transformed entirely, shooting into the air with plasma gathered in his hands. It felt like the pull of some massive celestial object focused on him and his sanctuary alone, getting closer and closer, and Danny was all but certain he couldn’t do much on his own against it. He reached into his Sanctuary, felt it reach back, and begged it to hide . The partly cloudy sky went dark, the clouds now stretching over the whole expanse of the island, and in the mountain, Danny could feel the hum of railguns warming up and ready to fire like Danny couldn’t on his own.
The clouds were parted by something vast and incomprehensible that sung every song never known by mortal ears, and looking at it was looking upon all that had ever happened throughout the whole of humanity, listening to every story ever told to another person, and Danny nearly unraveled before he could look away. Something like a bell tolled and that massive shape resolved itself into something steadily smaller and simpler, while a voice called out to them - when had Tucker and Sam joined in him in the air? - with a deep baritone voice. “ A̸̢̦̮̥͚h̴͉̟̳͙͈͎̩͡, my sincerest apologies! I hadn’t expecte d any mortals or bridge spirits to be here and so came to investigate this lovely new place in an old er form. Perhaps this is easier on your minds and senses?”
The being settled into the shape of a male presenting person with grey skin, a white shirt, black pants, and a purple trench coat. They were also wearing glasses over eyes that were green at a glance but any lingering eye contact showed every shade of green and violet that could be thought of, and Danny struggled to keep his gaze on the center of the being’s forehead. They smiled with shark-like teeth and held out a hand. Danny, after likely too long, regained enough sense to shake their hand and cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, this is uh, this is a lot easier. Hi. I’m Danny.”
“Hello Danny, I’m recently going by Ghostwriter! And who might you all be?”
“I’m …. Tucker Foley. Tech master extraordinaire.” Tucker shook off his awe quickly enough and gave the Ghostwriter some finger guns and a grin, shaky as it may have been.
Tucker’s joke seemed to snap Sam out of her own stupor and she shook the ghost’s hand warily. “Sam Manson, curious to meet you.”
“It’s always good to be curious! I came here sensing both a new place to learn about, the gateway to this lovely little planar system, and also I sensed a curious mind like my own seeking new fascinating secrets to uncover. Considering only one of you is capable of creating a Sanctuary, I imagine it’s you, Danny?”
Danny nodded and scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, about you coming here, can I ask uh, what was up with that mind-melting form you were just in?”
“I’ve never properly understood Lovecraftian Horror’s until now,” Sam muttered with a shiver. Tucker elbowed her in the side.
Ghostwriter tapped their chin with a hum and looked around at Danny’s spooktacular bachelor pad and clapped his hands with a grin. “I propose a trade! If I tell you about myself, as the answer to your question is best answered with story, then you all tell me about your selves. Deal?”
The trio looked between each other and nodded, Danny holding out his hand to shake. “Deal. Can we take this to the cafe down there though?” Danny pointed exactly to one of the cafes in his Sanctuary and slowly relaxed his panicked grip on the place. If Ghostwriter wanted trouble he clearly didn’t want any with Danny.
They sat down, Danny found some tea, coffee and all the things required to make hot chocolate inside, and offered everyone. Tucker accepted some iced tea, while Sam and Ghostwriter got coffee, and soon Danny sat down with his own hot chocolate and everyone else’s drinks. They appreciated the drinks and took big sips before the Ghostwriter began to speak.
“Oh, but where to start, where to start? If you have time, I can start even at the very beginning of it all?” The trio looked between each other and shrugged; it was the weekend, they had plenty of time. Ghostwriter seemed delighted by that. “The very beginning it is!” Music began to play, soft and mysterious in their minds.
“Before all that you see around you, before the swirling mists and oceans of darkness, before the very concept of Being, nothing was all that was. No past, present or future, no light or darkness, simply a blank nothingness.” On the table, a portion of the air became… empty, in a way that Danny felt in his soul, and he ached to fill the void. “Now, no one, not even myself or my siblings, knows why what happened happened, but for whatever reason or unreason, something began to Exist. Now, the very first something is what some call ectoplasm, others magic, and countless other names, but my siblings and I simply refer to it as the Realms themself being born.” Green light shone in the center of the void and quickly expanded to fill it up, accompanied by glorious and triumphant music.
“Now, while the Realms were the Something to all the Nothing at its edges, it still had just about nothing in it. So, it got to making things within itself from itself, and after a bit of experimenting with half-formed ideas like any creative soul, the very first Realm - the first universe was created. Inside of this universe, there was a great deal and the forces that be happened to be rather proud of themself but had no one to share their creation with. So, they created a soul, and a vessel to house that soul in so that someone could experience what they had made. There was, however, the issue of longevity, which was solved somewhat easily enough, by moving the soul into yet another vessel.”
The shape of a person appeared, surrounded by others, and a light slid out of one as they fell, before being nudged into the next, back and forth. “Now, what with the flexibility of how the Realms interact with time, the soul of their creation was able to hop from mortal vessel to mortal vessel, back and forth across history. Each time the soul left a body it simply went to the edges of the universe before being guided to its next life. And so it went until all the mortals were gone, but the soul was now so complex from experiencing life as every mortal that it could fit in larger vessels from which to appreciate the world. So, they became each planet in turn, and then each star, and each galaxy and cluster, and black hole, until that universe finally went dark, and the being had been everyone and everything in it across its lifespan.”
The light grew brighter and brighter with each leap it took until it burrowed down deep enough to contain that light, and the images Ghostwriter showed them zoomed out to show a solar system. And from there, the light flowed all around it, even jumping to other systems, until the light was too bright to contain in those planets and so it became all the light there was. Abruptly there wasn’t any light at all. An emptiness that the soul grew and grew to fill.
“And so in the cold, dark, quiet of the seemingly dead universe, the being that experienced Existing in a way the Realms could not did what it hadn’t the chance to between all its various lives with their fresh starts and clean slated beginnings: remembered. They experienced all that they had gone through, the scope of their life unfolding to be felt in its entirety in a way that could only be done when unbound by flesh and stone and plasma confines.”
The darkness shrunk as the grey light grew, and then the darkness was a ball within a green expanse. “And then they Were, and the universe ended with a bang, as they who I call mother and you can refer to as Queen Death, was born into the Realms properly.” The ball cracked and trembled before exploding in all directions, the bits of the cosmic eggshell being tossed to the edges of what they could see on the table. A being outlined in grey that held every color there was within, spun around in excitement, and reached out, taking one of the fractured shells of her egg and molding it like clay into another ball, then doing the same with another.
For a long moment, the trio stared at the little queen Death making universes all around her, Tucker sipping his tea as he did so. While Danny was still processing and Sam struggled to find her words, Tucker set his cup down and cleared his throat. “So, there’s a lot to unpack there, and I presume that you’re one of those souls that finished maturing inside of their universe - what are your pronouns by the way?”
“Ah yes, those, I go by he and him for now.”
Tucker nodded and hummed. “So there’s a Queen of the afterlife then? Queen Death?” Ghostwriter’s face fell from that of an eager storyteller to something sour, bitter, and full of grief.
“Not anymore, sadly. Once Mother had adjusted to Being, she realized that she too could create in this wonderful place from which she came. She crafted for herself a lovely palace made half from concepts rather than stone or metal or wood, though it was made from all that and more too.” Death was shown molding the very mist around her into an intricate and beautiful landscape and building, before stopping and sitting cross-legged in her throne, tapping her chin. “But Death knew something was missing from her experience, something she’d had once before: companionship.”
Death was shown leaving her castle to go and gather the broken bits of her eggshell, and took them into her palace, before splitting one shell chunk in two and twisting the two into eggs. Green light gathered in each of her palms and flowed into the shells. “Mother made my eldest siblings, who would go on to name themselves Entropy and Peace. Unlike with her own experience with being guided into each new life, mother decided her first children would have a less lonely experience.” Blue light flowed from one egg and golden to the other and back, with the guiding hand of Death.
“Peace and Entropy would know each other in a way few still living gods do, for they were each other at times. And when they emerged, they gazed upon Death’s palace and kingdom with wonder, and they were a happy family.” Blue and Gold silhouettes hatched from their eggs, both donning violet. The three laughed and hugged and danced, crafting and playing. “And Death, and the Realms, decided to create again, and this time they would act together. And this time,” Ghostwriter said with a chill in his voice and his drink boiling, “the Realms would act on their fascination with balance.”
A violet light appeared as Death molded an egg all her own, and it pulsed and dripped with what felt to be oddly malicious. Entropy and Peace went about exploring their mother’s world while this happened and even took a few discarded shells to craft a universe of their own. Death and her children soon went about covering the table in art and Realms, along with Realms simply spawning from nowhere. The dark purple egg hatched, and the other universes shook.
“What if I told you that the force that brought Existence into Being made mistakes? What if I told you that gods can die?” Ghostwriter gestured to seven eggs orbiting each other, bands of light flitting between them all. “The third child of Death called himself War, and he was the first to disrupt things and give Peace a job to do.” War walked over and flicked the bands of light between two of the eggs, forcing the soul out into the Infinite Realms early, and it grew into a small green being. Peace flew over, and gently nudged the being back toward its egg, but not before drawing from within a blade and cutting through the tiny being. It returned to a ball shape and flowed back in.
“Ghosts of the dead, as you might call them, are souls set adrift from the path between lives, and Peace made it his job to take them back where they go. Sometimes War did this many times at once, and I, curious, asked Peace to allow a few to stay. After all, they were going to end up here again anyway, weren’t they? And so, we tried that, and due to the boundlessness and chaotic nature of the Realms these ghosts found themselves evolving and mutating over time, some of them fulfilling a passion from their previous life and finding their way back home into the next life, while others stayed here and grew and grew and even figured out a way to reproduce - sexually and not. Those ghosts born in the Realms from the dead we call Deathless because they never died.”
“So you’re the reason we have ghosts and stuff?” Sam frowned at the Ghostwriter and the story unfolding before their eyes froze. “Because you wanted to see what’d happen?”
“The name I first took was Curiosity, my dear, and actually I was the first ghost, made rather curious for a reason. It was something new. If I may?”
“Sorry.” The writer waved it off and the story continued.
“Peace forged a sword within himself that he used to set free souls that had gone too long outside of their shells, their minds dissolving under the pressure of an eternity they weren’t mature enough for yet. Many of the elder Deathless he granted such Peace granting tools, and so when a ghost went mad with age they were cut down and their soul returned to their egg. But if that were the last of War’s troublesome and destructive actions, this tale would have a happier ending.”
The violet War wrapped himself in black and red and forged within himself a ring and from that ring beat drums and played bagpipes and ripped chords that called out to something burning hot inside of Danny that had his chocolate evaporating out of his cup. “A god or a ghost can craft from themselves an artifact of power that embodies their very self, their greatest passion. Peace acted as a knight to Queen Death, while Entropy became the watcher over things, and War… War crafted his own place, a fortress beyond our immediate sight, and started taking ghosts there.”
War took the tiny green ghosts far from the others and brandished his ring at them, and from it a sickly purple light seeped out and infected the ghosts, turning them a toxic looking blend of green and purple. Danny shivered, and Sam set down her coffee, looking pale and furious. “Before we knew what he was doing, we thought of War simply as seeking conflict, as his name implied. But war, oh war is not just violence, it is imperialism, it is slaughter, it is conquest it is a͜ h҉un̵g̸er̶ ̸th҉at ca̴nnot be sat̶ed ųnt͜i̷l ͜all͢ i͏s͝ c̸o̡ns͢umęd ̕an͏d̴ ̕li̷k͝e͞l̢y̕ ev͜en͢ ͟not t҉he̛n.” The sickly purple and red light spread further and further, seeping into the ground and choking the air.
“When the dead forge artifacts that outlast them, they make them from the ectoplasm of the Realms and have them resonate with that ghost’s soul, thus allowing any Dead, Deathless, or even a living mortal with the same soul or at least born of the same soul as the ghost who made it to use it. When one of us does it though, well, we’ve got a universe worth of energy to work with, replenished by the Realms, so we reach inside and forge our relic from our own soul, and a bit of ectoplasm. Queen Death made her crown of Fire as a light to keep back the darkness, and to assist her in managing the ebb and flow of souls across the cosmos.”
The palace courtroom came into view and violet War marched forth toward his mother, his purple and red, and black ring pulsing with the beat of wrath. “As her Majesty Queen Death put to work her latest project of making systems out of Realms that would regulate themselves, her third eldest child marched into her throne room with a ring made from the collective heat and metals of stars within him, his malice, his corruptive hunger that would take and steal and conquer, and he stole from her what was her own, the Crown of Fire that lit the darkness of the Infinite Realms, and with a sword stolen from a Peacemaker he earned his most hatefully spat title, the Filthy Mother Killer.“ The kaleidoscopic crown atop Death’s head turned sickly and purple-green. A sword the color of bone pierced Death’s center and the whole Sanctuary shook with a screech.
“Peace ran to mother's palace to ask what had happened, for all the Realms felt it when Death died, and oh, how realization crashed down upon that which could call itself the Realms themself, and oh how it wept and oh how it raged, as the sword that would cut free the souls lost and tangled in obsession too deeply to pass onto their next lives alone and gave the infant Realms peaceful deaths was used to reach into Peace itself and oh how the Realms wailed with fury as the Fright Knight was forced into being under the service of the Usurper, and struck even his sibling Entropy, now Clockwork, giving them their famed scar.” Gold was encased in bone white armor and it’s violet cloak ignited. They struck blue Entropy and soon the gods all over clashed, and the tabletop was swallowed by a rainbow of violence and dripped with emerald blood.
“And so, the Corrupter of Worlds threw the Realms into the most horrific war, beyond mortal comprehension, as the gods grieved and raged and fought with all they had, but could barely scratch their elder brothers. Until finally, finally, Clockwork sealed Fright Knight away in the nightmares his sword now caused. And finally, Entropy itself rallied their brothers and sisters and we sealed away the vile Mother Killer in the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep.” Ghostwriter banished the images, his eyes burning amethyst and crimson and he took deep breaths, while the teens leaned back, wary and filled with their own impotent rage.
When finally he seemed to calm, the Sanctuary not writhing and rumbling with the force of his rage, he did a little gesture and the mist coalesced once more into a little stage. A foundation of stone formed and over it lay an ocean and from within it grew a tree of bark and steel, surrounded by breezes likely large enough to dwarf Jupiter’s red spot, mold growing at the bottom of the tree while a star roared to life above it. “Though War was locked away, the Realms did not know rest. So they set to work putting together their daughter's last project: a planar system. And ages beyond time passed, until one day, every god and spirit woke to the sound of a scream. And that, my dear Bridge Spirit, is where I believe your story begins.”
Danny sat there, turning over the story that he’d just been told in his head, and tried his best to process it. He wasn’t sure how to do that, though, with the enormity of it all. So, Tucker cut in for him, like always, but with a rap. “Yo, Danny Fenton, he was just 14-“
“Ai dios- stop!” Danny snorted a laugh and shoved Tucker’s face, and the trio descended into a fit of giggles. “Alright, my story isn’t as much as yours is, but, well.” And so, taking turns picking up where the others didn’t know, they told their story to the Ghostwriter. They could process the meaning of life later.
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buckyssoul · 6 years ago
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Trust Me (college!au)
Pairing: bucky x female reader
Word Count: 1778
Rating: mature
Warnings: mild language, a lil nsfw (nothing too graphic though, but i’d prefer you be 17+ to continue reading).
Summary: you were minding your own business heading back to your dorm room from the showers, what happens when a surprise visitor ducts into your open door before you can shut it behind you?
A/n: so, this is the first work of my own that im sharing. Let me know what you think, constructive criticism is welcome! If enough people like this I might do a part two, idk.. also; i’m super insecure about my ability to write, so i asked a few people i trust to beta read this for me to tell me if it was garbage. They gave me the green light to post it. So please cc: @lokissoul, @avenging-barnes, and @legendaryloki when you send me your hate mail. (: ps thank u lovely ladies for proof reading for me ilysm.
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You wrapped your fluffy white robe around yourself, tied it closed with a secure knot, then grabbed your shower caddy to head back to your dorm. Your room was on the corner at the end of the hall, which wasn’t too far from the showers, so your trip back wasn’t a long one. You unlocked your door and had just pushed it open when someone flew around the corner of the hall, grabbed you, pushed you into your room, and followed you in. He spun you around, and pushed your door closed by lightly shoving you against it. Your shower caddy went flying to the floor, cool. He flipped the lock with his right hand and covered your mouth with his left. You stared up at him with giant shock filled eyes. He was panting from the running, you assumed. You were panting from the pure shock of the whole situation.
At first, he wouldn’t look at you. He seemed to be too focused on the noise coming from the hall. You were about to shove him off you and demand to know what the hell was going on, then you felt his body stiffen and his hand press a little harder over your mouth. Then you both heard a female voice yelling in the hall, “Bucky!!” there was silence for a second then another shout that sounded closer than the first “Bucky! Where’d you go!?” Neither of you moved until you heard the girl yelling again, this time from further away “Bucky, come back here!” He physically relaxed a little bit after he noticed the girl kept going on down the hall. You took his momentary relief as an opportunity to shove him off you. He looked shocked by your strength for a split second, his expression morphed into confusion when he saw the smirk forming on your beautiful face.
“So… you must be bucky, I assume?” you asked even though you knew. You had a few classes with the gorgeous brunet. You two had never spoken, but you still knew of him.
“uhm yeah, Bucky Barnes.. that’s me.” He huffed a laugh and nervously brought his hand to rub at the back of his neck. His eyes strayed from yours for a few seconds as he took in your appearance. The knot on your robe had loosened a little bit and your cleavage was exposed quite a bit. “You’re Y/N, right?” he asked as his eyes traveled down your figure.
Your smirk widened into a full-fledged grin. “Yep, the one and only.” You said, still smiling at him. “So,” you continued, “care to tell me what that was all about, or should I go fetch whatever harpy was shouting your name in the hall and ask her?” his gaze snapped back up to your face, you raised an eyebrow at him daring him to call your bluff.
“I.. uhm….” He stammered being caught off guard by your cheekiness. “She’s my ex.. We’ve been split up for about 2 months, but she still thinks she has some sort of….. claim over me. I guess??” He sounded unsure.
“Okay, so she’s chasing you through the halls and yelling your name like a crazy person because she’s obsessed with you?” You asked in an attempt to simplify his explanation.
“essentially” he shrugged. “I tried to let her down easy, but it doesn’t seem to be working out very well for me, huh.” He chuckled and started rubbing the back of his neck again.
“hmm” you hummed audibly as you thought out a proposition. “What if I said I could help you out?” you crossed your arms unintentionally pressing your chest up and making your cleavage pop out even more. His gaze dropped from your face to your chest for more than a couple of seconds. He looked back to your eyes and swallowed thickly.
“Then I’d say that I would owe you one…” he started to smile at you. “What did you have in mind, doll?” His eyes had a sparkle of flirty mischief in them.
“Well..” you started to say, but then you and Bucky heard pounding on a door down the hall. You went to peek out the door to see what was going on. Bucky peeked out over your shoulder.
“Oh shit!” he whisper-yelled in your ear as he pulled you back inside by your hips, pressing your ass right up against his groin. He pushed your door closed and took a few deep breaths trying to steady his breathing. You spun around to face him, still very close together, close enough that his heavy exhales were moving your now mostly dry hair back from your face. “That’s my ex! she’s going door to door looking for me now?!??” he ran his hand through his hair and sighed exasperatedly. You couldn’t help but to think about how soft his hair looked. Your fingertips started to tingle with how badly you wanted to run your hands though his shiny chocolate-locks.
You grabbed him gently by the sides of his face, but looked into his eyes urgently “Do you trust me to help you?” His hands went to your hips, he looked into your eyes for a second then nodded yes. “Quickly, take your shirt off!” you grabbed at the end of his shirt.
He looked at you in pure confusion for a second but followed your orders and began to remove his shirt. Once it was up and over his head, he felt the air get knocked out of his lungs. There you stood in your black lace panties, robe kicked across the room, with one arm barely covering your chest and the other one extended out reaching for his shirt. He let you take it and you pulled it over your head. Bucky felt like his eyes were going to bulge out of his head when he saw your fully naked chest briefly as you pulled the t-shirt down.
You huffed out a quick breath, looked up into his eyes and whispered “trust me” as you leaned in to kiss his sinfully pink lips. Bucky didn’t have to think twice about kissing you back. His eyes fluttered shut and he groaned at the softness of your supple lips against his own. Your hands ran up his chest to the back of his neck then into his silky hair. You whimpered at the feeling of his soft hair between your fingers. He pressed his hard body up against your soft one, pinning you between himself and the wall next to your door. The kiss started to become more heated as his tongue swiped at your bottom lip. You immediately granted him access into your warm mouth, loving the feeling of his tongue brushing up against yours. You tugged on his hair a little to get him to release your mouth, you bit and sucked lightly on his bottom lip as you pulled him away.
Bucky stared at you, gasping for air. Your eyes flicked up to his for a second “trust me,” you whispered again as you went to kissing and nibbling at his jawline, then to his neck, leaving a trail of little reddish-purple love bites in your wake. Bucky exhaled heavily, his eyes rolling back into his head. He tilted his head back to give you better access to his neck and collarbone. You bit down forcefully, but not too hard, at the juncture of his neck and shoulder then quickly kissed away the pain with soft open-mouthed kisses and kitten licks. You pulled back and raked your nails down his chest. Not enough to hurt, but enough to leave lightly raised red marks. 
You made eye contact for a few seconds, both of you were panting a little. Bucky put one hand on your hip and brought the other one to the side of your neck and slid it up to your jaw, “my turn,” he whispered huskily as he tilted your head back and began leaving his marks on your jaw and the side of your neck. His teeth grazed the corner of your jawline as he kissed and playfully bit his way to the spot below your ear that had you moaning his name. He felt his cock twitch in his pants at the sound of his name falling from your sweet lips like that. He pressed his lower half against you so you could feel what you were doing to him. His hand started to slide up from your hip, under his shirt to your breast. He massaged it gently before he started toying with your already hard nipple. Your eyes were closed, and your head was tilted against the wall. You were so lost in him that the knock on your door made you jump. Your eyes shot open and you gently pushed him away.
You turned and opened your door. “Can I help you?” you breathed out, still trying to calm your heart and lungs. There in your doorway stood Bucky’s ex, her mouth hanging open as she took in the scene in front of her. You were standing there in Bucky’s shirt; it was half hanging off your right shoulder where the love bites he just gave you were showing. And Bucky was standing next to you, shirtless, with all of the markings you left him on his neck and chest out on full display. You both looked like you walked through a wind tunnel with the way your hair was all mused up. The girl stood in your doorway staring for another few seconds, still speechless. Her brown eyes were as wide as saucers.
“Well if you don’t need anything, we are going to get back to what we were doing.” You say politely as you shut the door in her still shocked face.
“Now, where were we?” you said in a sultry tone, loud enough that she can hear you through the closed door. You turned back to Bucky, he’s had a dopey smile on his face and his eyes were hooded as they lingered on every feature of your face.
“You’re amazing, Y/N” He breathed as he pulled you into him, so he could get back to kissing your, now plushy red, lips. You hummed as you began kissing him back. You continued that way for a few seconds until you heard footsteps start to descend from your door.
You pulled back from Bucky by a few inches and grinned up at him. “You owe me one, Barnes.” You whispered in a husky tone.
“Whatever you want, baby. Name it and it’s yours” He breathed out, smiling back at you and half chuckling, the mischievous glint in his eyes reflected the sparkle in your eyes perfectly.
thank you for reading my first fic!! i hope i didn’t disappoint <3
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ayeshintheclouds · 5 years ago
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What a strange middle space I exist in. It’s like the time between Christmas and New Year. When everything’s done, but technically it’s not. When the year is so practically over that you act as if it already is. But it’s not. High school is over. Except it’s not. 
We still have assignments sometimes. An occasional Zoom call. But that’s not what high school is to me. I have an obsession with lasts. In so many aspects of life. I remember a specific time, the week before my eleventh birthday. Every single night before bed that week, I’d think to myself, “it’s my last Tuesday 10” “my last Friday 10” it was stupid. But I did that with everything. When we moved. My last time using this shower. My last night in my room. My last time opening this closet door. I never stopped that. And I had built up so many lasts in my head for high school. It was such a crazy time of my life, the most I’d ever changed as a person, the most experience I’d gotten in the real world. I’m attached to that building, its people, the walls, the books. I was so prepared to live through each and every one of those lasts.
My last time using the disgusting school restrooms with roaches. My last time sleeping on the giant comfy library sofas. My last time walking in to gov with an orange and sticking its cutie sticker on the back of the seat in front of me. My last time listening to music in class and then jolting up when uh oh stinky starts playing on max volume cuz zahra hijacked my airpods. My last time walking to euro with the same song playing in both our ears as we walk off in different directions, sighing when the Bluetooth connection cuts off cuz you’re too far. As far as you can get in one building. What we wouldn’t give to be in the same building right now. My last time quickly clicking out of my Papa’s freezeria tab and zoning back into a lecture about scandalous prince Henry and his million wives. My last time filling out forensics notes made by our sweet teacher who draws cute lil heart bulletins for each of the 19 ways a man’s blood can drain out of his body. My last time rushing to lunch before the giant pizza line or the crowds around the restroom mosh pits cuz some rapper died. My last time cuddling up in a giant blanket with my friends on the floor of our freezing cold English room to watch A Quiet Place or Marriage Story or The Good Place. Our last time making a steaming cup of hot chocolate using our teachers coffee machine to read a picture of Dorian grey. My last time sneaking my friend into library free period and then getting caught. She made my friend go out but we keep talking, through the glass. We write words on our notebook paper and show each other. We play charades. We FaceTime and text despite being a foot apart but there’s glass separating us. My last time sneaking up to the abandoned second floor of the library where all the lonely dead books live, where it feels like an airplane when it rains. You can hear the rain pattering above you and the lights go out and u feel like ur in a giant haunted library all alone. But then ms b yells for you to come down and change the water filters or take out todays orbeez and youre back in reality. My last time jolting awake to the sound of the awful trumpet bell and rushing to the bus. Saving a seat for zahra and cringing at boys’ conversations behind us as they compare weewee sizes and rate girls. Recording a bus vlog together and sharing headphones to watch funny videos. My last time walking home with Renelle and MonaLisa, stopping every few feet so they can film tiktoks. Arriving at the crossroad between our houses and saying “See you tomorrow,” before heading home. Every day. Every day we said those exact words like a tradition, even on Fridays by accident and then we’d giggle and say “oh I mean Monday” and I thought to myself that the last month of school I’d record us saying that everyday to make a graduation memory compilation.
My last time going to high school. Or school at all. Unless you count college as school, which I guess it is. But still. It’ll never be the same. We’re opening one chapter before finishing the last. We haven’t fully left high school but technically we’re in college. We haven’t fully started college cuz we’re technically still in high school. It’s over. My last day of school was something I barely remember. My friend had memorized a thousand digits of pi for extra credit and we watched her perform it in front of her class. I’m trying so hard to go back and count the lasts. But I didn’t savor it. I wish I’d known it’d be my last. It’s taught me at least to savor everything. Anything can be a last moment. Life can change at the drop of a hat.
We missed our university orientation. It was gonna be the most amazing two days of our lives. Our first ever slumber party. We’d be roommates in a dorm room and we’d do the candlelight traditions and the songs and everything. They gave us an online one now. Staff people speaking us through green screens and a bunch of twenty minute videos. Zoom calls. Surveys. Emails. All our real life experiences replaced by the stupid internet that I hate so much but it’s all I’ve got.
Who knows if we’ll have a graduation, a prom? If we’ll ever get to walk across that stage or wear that dress or even see each other in person again. Sometimes my friends come by, on their bikes or with their parents. We talk through my second floor window or on the porch six feet apart. When they leave it feels like they never came at all because it was so surreal. It doesn’t feel the same. Nothing feels the same. It feels empty and hollow and lonely and like reality is fake. Time passes as a blob now. Someone says it’s Friday and I want to scream. What does that supposed to mean? Is that supposed to hold any meaning to me anymore? Friday meant no school tomorrow. There’s no school today or tomorrow or the day after or ever.
I know I shouldn’t complain. I have life in my arms and legs and color in my cheeks and my body can breathe without machinery that costs thousands to make. The height of my pain is boredom and I’m sure there’s thousands, millions, who would kill to have a problem as first world as mine. So I have no right to complain. But I will. Because although others’ pain is greater than mine, pain is pain, and I want so badly to get it off my chest without hurting the feelings of people actually suffering. And I’m well aware that anyone reading this might think me a spoiled brat. I guess I am. But high school’s over. Except it’s not
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flowerpuppy · 5 years ago
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Igor is the best album this decade ("essay")
This album had quite the interesting rollout for me. When the album first was announced I heard A$AP Rocky mention how Tyler was really experimenting and reaching outside of what he has done before and really exceeded Tylers 2017 album Flower Boy which i quite enjoyed. I was critical of this, often when i heard artist mention how they ”gotten more experimental” often it turns out not to be true, like with Thom Yorke's new album and Slipknot's new album it usually just turns out to be quite similar to what they have already done but with some new twists. I was expecting Igor too be good, but not as good as Flower Boy or anything exceptionally. 
But then the first music sneak peek came out and I was really stricken by it. It was the start of IGOR’S THEME and I remember just listening to the instagram video on repeat. I was starting to think ”what if this is gonna be really amazing”. Then more sneak peeks came out, all really wonderful and my expectation grew and grew until the album finally released.
I first listened to it the morning the album came out and wow yeah. Immediately i feel in love, this is just such a wonderfully beautifully unique album, this is really just Tyler working as freely as he wants but unlike Cherry Bomb which while having some great moments over all is flawed Igor somehow is just perfect. There is not a beat switch, a melody change, mixing or performance on this whole album I dont love with my whole heart. It's just a wonderful little album.
The album starts with what migth be my favorite song on the album, IGOR’S THEME. It's just such a amazing way too establish the whole album, its themes and mood. The long droney synth, then the drums kicking in, the amazing Lil Uzi Vert feature, the little delayed and panned running, then the the synth stops for a little drum break but then comes back until it chour hits. Its just perfect, it's just so lovely and then the strings hit at the end it's just wonderful. 
Then EARFQUAKE starts, just a really solid pop song. Some beautiful pianos with Tyler singing the main vocals with his pitched up vocals and overdubs in his normal pitch. Tylers singing voice is really wonderful and he really seems to have gotten a grasp on how to use it on this with full confidence and its great! Simple but poignant lyrics were Tyler tries to convince his partner to stay,  it works really great for the song. And then Playboi Carti verse starts, i cant hear what hes saying without the lyrics up but man those it just sound great. It also ends with a rap verse with Tylers normal pitch and it's just a great way to tie up the end.
Then I THINK starts, a more traditional hip hop song with a great chant, ”four, skate”. Hard hitting drums a thumping bass line and a wonderful bridge leading to the chours again but with the great performance from Solange being more in the forefront and its great. Ending with a sweet little piano leading to the interlude EXACTLY WHAT YOU RUN FROM YOU END UP CHASING which transitions to the next song.
RUNNING OUT OF TIME starts with the wonderful hook which is just the title repeated but harmonized beautiful with versed heavily leaning on Tylers very distinctive brass synth sound and a really beautiful bridge. 
Then! Then we have NEW MAGIC WAND! If IGOR’S THEME isnt my favorite song on this album this is. A bit thing that this album does really well is mix its grittier ugly sound with just really beautiful pretty parts and this song does that so wonderfully. With more abrasive verses with a distorted bass and distorted background laughs with electric keyboards. This album also bleeds great hooks and this song has a good amount of them, first with the ”Like magic, like magic, like magic, gone” chant and then leading to the chorus pleading to not be left alone just repeating ”Please don't leave me now”. Then it yet transitions to a short beautiful bridge and then again gets more abrasive and ends. A amazing song.
Then A BOY IS A GUN* comes on, just a really lush sample heavy hip hop song. Again some really nice harmonization and singing from Tyler and a great performance from Solanges. It also just ends very strong with the ”stay the fuck away from me” line and when the instrumental cuts of at the end with the vocals still left, so beautiful! My god.
Then we have PUPPET which might also be my favorite song, it's just a beautiful song about being obsessed, being codependent and just loosing agency as your falling in love with someone just not being able to not want to for your whole life around someone. Also features a great feature from Kanye West which isn't supper present but his small verse and adlibs really adds to the song. A great song.
WHAT’S GOOD is the albums main banger, it's just a great hard hitting rap song alike I Ain't Got Time! with Tyler gaining more confidence and including some pretty bridges and great beatswitches. This albums has enough pretty bridges to build a bridge over the atlantic! So good.  I see the light.
Then we have GONE, GONE / THANK YOU, the classic track 10 split song which all of Tyles albums have (for the uneducated). The first part GONE, GONE is just a lush beautiful a choir and harmonizing heavy song with a surprise feature from CeeLo Green, just very pretty. Kinda reminds me of Rainbo Conversation in some ways. The song ends with a more melancholic darker ending rap verse changing the very bright vocals and tone too something darker and deeper that very well wraps up and transitions too the second track THANK YOU. THAN YOU is a bit hard to describe, it's more bittersweet and melancholic than the first side, trying too see something positive in the break up but still just feeling done with love forever.
Then it amazingly transitions too I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, starts with a minimal small intro verse with just a drum machine, a electric piano, some subtle synth sounds and Tyler's voice. Then it just opens up, gets more bright and starts the chorus which a very wavy feel to it leading to what i think is Jack White playing a great little melody with Tyler vocal riffing over it. It's a bit hard to describe with how lose the structure is but it's just very pretty and just an acceptance of love lost.
Then we close with ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?, pleading for a happy ending. Just a lush pretty song trying to keep some kind of relationship so everything spent together isn't lost. With the song starting to get quiet and then slowly building up more and more getting more distorted, a small feature Pharrell Williams  giving a great performance just really driving forward and just giving the whole album a really lush great climax. A very good way to end the whole album.
A big part why i love this album is of course the amazing wonderful production, it just oozes this perfect mood and aesthetic that's really unique and weird. Sounds vintage while beeing very new, like a distorted weird Stevie Wonder album. The mixing too, its not too clean and is a bit messy giving the whole album a great character.
I also didnt mention the lyrics a whole before so i will mention it now, i love them and they are perfect. Ive seen complaints that they are too simple and people who thing that i feel like cant really see what the words meaning can be heightened with the music and I also just think the lyrics very well articulated obsession, codependence, just loving someone so much you want them too never leave so well. Also I love how unapologetically gay the whole album is, while Flower Boy hunted and referenced it this album is just a straightforward gay break up album and its great. I'm very happy Tyler is really owning his sexuality.
I love this album so much, the first day i listened to it i knew that it was just perfect, i listened to the album three times before i got too school and i've listened to it a whole lot more sense then and I love it more every time. This album is gritty, it's pretty, its ugly, its beautiful and it's very gay and it's the best album this decade. 
Thank you if u actually read all this. (heh finished this 4:20 am)
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a-gay-bloodmage · 6 years ago
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My first Aelon fic!! This was so fun to write!!
For the wonderful @thedisc0panda!
5. Soft kisses on the neck that make you giggle and Person A kisses you more on the neck just to hear you laugh
((From this post!))
—He Knew He Liked It —
Pairing: Dorian Pavus x Male Lavellan
Pairing Type: M/M
Words: 1,571
Warnings: It might seem a lil NSFW but it’s really not, Someone’s Ticklish and Not Happy About It, But It’s Very Cute, I’m Not One-Hundred Percent Set on How to Write Aelon but I Liked This, He’s a Cutie Patootie, My Angry Scotty Boy and His Weirdo Roman Boyfriend 
Dorian peered over the edge of his book, squinting to see what his love was doing across the room. Lavellan was bent over a rarely-used desk, freckled face pressed against the wood as he attempted to get a paperweight aligned just right with the others. Dorian felt a smile creep onto his face as he watched the elf's backside wiggle in concentration over his little task. As annoying as it could be sometimes, his little Lavellan's obsession with perfection was endearing and downright adorable at times like these.
He placed his book on the side table beside the armchair he'd claimed as his own, and kept his steps light as he walked over to where Lavellan worked. Well, Dorian wanted to call Lavellan Aelon, but the Inquisitor was insistent that his last name be exclusively what he was called. Apparently Aelon wasn't a very pretty name in elven. Dorian didn't speak much elven. He just found it cute. Especially when Lavellan said it in his cute little northern Dalish accent.
"How are the paperweights treating you?" Dorian whispered into Lavellan's ear.
"Dorian!" Aelon hissed, turning his head back to look at the Vint. "Stop sneakin' up on me while I'm fixin' things!" Dorian smiled. He couldn't help how cute he found the Inquisitor when he got all bristled up over touches. His dark green eyes sparkled in the low, orange light of the library.
"You've been fixing that desk for half an hour," Dorian chuckled, pressing his hips against Lavellan's, his hands gently gripping the elf's slender waist.
"It's been five minutes!"
"And how could I have read two entire chapters in five minutes, amatus?" Lavellan blew a small huff out his flat elven nose, ginger eyebrows creasing together.
"Fine. I'm done. That weight was just botherin' me," he mumbled. "It was too far to the left."
"Mhmm," Dorian hummed, one hand moving to play with the elf's ginger hair, finger carefully twirling around a large silver lock. "I believe you."
"Good. Now get off ma ass," he groaned. "You know I don't like that, Dorian."
"It's such a shame," Dorian sighed, slowly folding his body over the elf's. "You have a wonderful little behind." Lavellan was a short man—even by elven standards—and Dorian loved it. Even if it meant he was sometimes yanked down by his shoulders when a disgruntled elf wanted a kiss.
"Dorian..."
"Have you ever noticed how good my name sounds in your accent?" Dorian grinned, kissing the back of Lavellan's ear. "Doooorian."
"Why you-! Y-you little-! Dorian!" Lavellan squirmed under the kisses, his lean hips wiggling against Dorian's. "Not the ears!" Even in his protests, Dorian knew that Lavellan wasn't exactly against whatever the Vint did. Affection was still such a foreign concept to him. To both of them.
"Not ears," Dorian said in an amused whisper. "Of course, amatus." His hand moved from the top of Lavellan's head to the messy ends of his hair, brushing it out of the way to expose his neck. An obvious shiver ran down Lavellan's spine as Dorian's fingers brushed over his mess of freckles. He leaned the rest of the way over, pressing his lips against warm skin.
It was a different kind of squirming this time.
Lavellan gripped the edge of the desk as he shivered, lean muscles twitching underneath Dorian's hands. A high, strained sound was drawn through tightly shut lips.
"Are you... ticklish?" Dorian asked, pausing his soft kisses.
"No!" The way the elf's floppy ears twitched made it obvious he was lying. That was the best part about having an elf as a lover. Lying was never their strong suit once you secretly learned to read them. And Lavellan was an open book.
Of course, Dorian Pavus was well aware of what some might assume if they looked over to see a Tevinter mage bent over a squirming elf and grinning like a maniac.
But he didn't particularly care right now.
"Dorian!" Lavellan hissed, his lips quirking up in a shaky smile. "You bastard!" Kiss after kiss was placed on the back of his freckled neck. "I'm- I'm gonna mess up the desk!"
"Half an hour of work," Dorian chuckled, kissing Lavellan again. "I'm quite aware!"
"Fuckin'- Dorian!" The library was thankfully—though only mostly—empty this late at night, so hardly a soul's research was interrupted by the high and choppy elven laughter coming from the second floor. Warm brown hands creeped underneath Lavellan's loose shirt, making him dissolve into giggles as soon as fingers brushed against his stomach. "I hate you!"
"No you don't," Dorian sang, teeth flashing in his wide smile. The rarity of Lavellan's smile was what made it so precious, though Dorian surely wouldn't complain if he saw it more often. It was adorable—slightly crooked teeth framed by full, pink lips.
"Oh, I will if you don't- don't stop that!" He choked out through laughter. "Dorian Pavus, you- you fuckin' asshole!"
"Alright, alright, I concede," Dorian laughed, raising his hands up after kissing Lavellan one last time.
"Stupid bastard," Lavellan said, his breathing heavy. "Tickle me again and I'll chop your offensive little hands off."
"Oh please, you love my hands. They're perfect."
Lavellan huffed. Dorian's hands were too symmetrical for the perfectionist to ever even think of destroying. "I'm mad at you."
"No you're not," Dorian said, smiling as he sat back down in his armchair.
"Yes I am. I don't like ticklin'." He was still bent over the desk, exhausted from laughing. Dorian was sure his jaw was killing him. The elf wasn't exactly known for practicing his smile in the mirror.
"Do you want to sit down?" Dorian patted his lap. "Come on. It's comfy over here."
"You'll tickle me again. You shems are all selfish, evil liars."
"There's a nice warm breeze blowing in from the window at a forty-five degree angle."
Lavellan was on his lap in seconds, curled up and looking delightfully content as the soft wind blew down his freckled nose. "Keep your hands to yourself," he said, adjusting his legs to the optimal angle over the arm of the chair. "An' scoot back an inch into the chair." Dorian smiled as he adjusted himself, resting his chin on Lavellan's shoulder. "Okay. Now sit still."
"Mhmm," Dorian hummed. One hand rested lightly on Lavellan's thigh, the other stationed on the free arm of the armchair.
The silver-streaked ginger hair blew gently in the breeze, tickling at Dorian's face.
"Hey. Shem," he whispered, voice slightly obscured by a yawn.
"Yes, amatus?"
"I'll get you back later. That's a threat. When y'er least expectin' it."
"Oh, how I do adore your threats, my dear," Dorian smiled, looking up at Lavellan's dark, pine green eyes.
"It's all fun an' games until I-" He interrupted himself with a yawn. "Until I get'cha."
"I eagerly await my getting, then," Dorian smiled.
"Knew you'd say that," he mumbled. "Smug... bastard."
Dorian was content to let Lavellan fall asleep in his lap, even as his legs went numb. He ran his hands through Lavellan's silky hair, smirking to himself as the elf wiggled in his sleep as fingers brushed against the back of his sensitive neck. He smelled like pine and static electricity. A strange combination, but Dorian liked it nonetheless.
After a while of nothingness, Dorian decided that since Lavellan wasn't going to wake within the hour, he'd just carry him up to bed. Thankfully, the elf weighed next to nothing.
"Sleep well, amatus," he whispered, brushing a stray lock of silver hair from his freckled forehead. He smiled, leaning down to press a light kiss to the side of Lavellan's neck.
"Fuck you," Lavellan whispered, sleepily opening his eyes a sliver.
"I can't believe I carried you up five flights of stairs while you were awake."
"You love me, stupid."
"So unfortunately true," Dorian smiled, shaking his head. He began to strip himself of clothing. "I get to sleep here now as repayment."
"No-" Lavellan stopped himself. "That's fair." Dorian carefully folded his clothing and placed it next to the bedside table, just as Lavellan liked it. He didn't mind the little extra things he had to do if it made his Inquisitor happy. He motioned to wrap his arms around the elf only to get soft hands sleepily—but certainly insistently—push him to face the other way.
"I am far too tall for this," Dorian chuckled as Lavellan pressed his lithe body against Dorian's back.
"I like holdin' you," he muttered against Dorian's bare skin. Warm, dark hands wrapped around the cold, freckled ones on his chest, holding him close.
"Oh, I don't mind," he smiled, his eyes gently falling closed. "Though you are quite cold."
"You're too warm."
"Perhaps we'll equal out in a few minutes," Dorian laughed quietly, pressing back slightly against Lavellan's body. "Only time will tell."
"Just hush up," Lavellan whispered, obviously not actually annoyed. "I'm tryin' to fall asleep."
"Of course." His foot gently ran along Lavellan's calf, making the elf shiver. "Goodnight, Aelon."
Lavellan was quiet for a second. "Night, Dorian."
Sometimes, Dorian found their quiet moments the best of them all. It wasn't a chaotic battle full of magic and the clanging of swords, nor did it leave him weak-kneed and slick with passionate sweat, but it made his heart race just as fast.
And he knew he liked it.
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e350tb · 7 years ago
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Steven Universe: The Eye of the Storm - Chapter Four
Chapter Four
Sadie picked at her dinner, listening to the clock ticking. The room was silent, and she felt rather uncomfortable. Outside the sun was setting, the sky turning a dark violet colour.
Barb put down her food and looked at her daughter.
"Okay," she said, "What's up?"
"What do you mean 'what's up?'" replied Sadie, "I'm fine, mom."
"You've hardly eaten your food," Barb pointed out, "Is it something Clancy said to you? Because if it is, I'll wring his-"
"Why did you and Dad split up?" asked Sadie.
There was a long silence.
"Because he turned out to be good for nothin'," Barb grunted at last.
"Yeah, but you must've seen something in him once, right?" said Sadie.
Barb nodded soberly.
"When I met Clancy," she said, "He was a little twig of a man with awful social skills and an obsession with the stars. I guess thought he was endearing. It was college, everyone was allowed to be dumb sometimes. We ended up getting hitched too early and everything fell apart from there."
"But what did he do to you?" asked Sadie, "What actually happened?"
Barb furrowed her brow, biting softly on her lip.
"He walked out," she said at last, "Decided some fancy government job was more important than...than his family. Left Beach City and never looked back - heck, he handled the whole divorce through his lawyer. And good riddance, that's what I say."
"So it had nothing to do with...I dunno, aliens?" asked Sadie.
For a split-second, Barb's eyes widened. Then she shook her head and laughed.
"The closest Clancy's ever gonna get to outer space is eating at Planet Kansas," she declared, "I mean, aliens? Where did you get that idea?"
Sadie sighed.
"Nowhere, mom," she said, "Just...thinking out loud."
"That'd be good for your band!" chuckled Barb, "Deadbeat Dads From Outer Space! Think it'll work?"
Sadie didn't answer, going back to picking at her food.
The sun had long gone down and Lion had taken Connie home. Steven had reheated a few slices of pizza he'd found in the fridge and was sitting on the couch playing Mad Libs with Amethyst and Peridot.
"Peridot, I need a name," he said.
"Percy," replied Peridot.
"Great!" nodded Steven, smiling, "Now Amethyst, I need a body part."
Amethyst grinned.
"I'm gonna say a-"
There was a knock at the door.
"Who could that be?" mused Steven, getting up.
"Boo!" grumbled Amethyst, "My word was gonna be great!"
Steven walked to the door and opened it, finding Sadie standing outside.
"Sadie? Is everything okay?" he asked.
"I asked Mom about Dad," replied Sadie.
"Oh," said Steven, "Did...did he do something really bad?"
"I don't know," replied Sadie, "Because she lied to me. Can I come in?"
Steven nodded, letting Sadie enter.
"What's up, ex-Donut Girl," said Amethyst, waving.
"Look," said Sadie, "Sorry to bother you this late, but something really weird is going on."
"It's Beach City," shrugged Amethyst.
"Yeah, but weirder than normal," replied Sadie, "Okay, so Dad left his wallet at the library and the librarian gave it to me to send back to him, and I went through it..."
"Sadie!" exclaimed Steven, scandalised.
"...yeah, I know, not the right thing," said Sadie, "But then I found this."
She reached into her pocket and pulled out the picture, showing it to Steven and the two gems.
"Is that a Roaming Eye?" gasped Peridot.
"A roaming what?" asked Sadie.
"It's a ship from the Gem Homeworld," replied Steven.
"We stole one!" added Amethyst, "It was great until they stole it back!"
"That was purely through Navy's mastery of deception," sniffed Peridot, "I was not responsible."
"Homeworld?" mused Sadie, "That's where you and Lars went, right? What's a ship from Homeworld doing on Earth? And what're my parents doing next to it?"
"Beats the heck outta me," replied Amethyst.
"Are you sure?" asked Peridot, "It seems implausible that a Homeworld ship could arrive without the Crystal Gems knowing about it."
"We can ask Garnet and Pearl about it when they get back," suggested Steven, "I'm sure they'll explain everything, right?"
"I hope so," sighed Sadie, "Because I really need answers right now..."
Roughly halfway between Beach City and Ocean Town was a small access road. Once upon a time, it had led to a cannery by the sea - but times had changed and the cannery had been closed and demolished, the road to nowhere its only remaining legacy.
A short distance down the road was a small depression in the landscape. It was about forty square metres across and ten metres deep - the earth had been covered with abundant grass which made this dip easy to miss from a distance. Only a select few knew what it really was - a crater left by a crashed alien ship.
A black car pulled up next to the hole. Agent Clancy Miller stepped out. He looked around, satisfied himself that he was alone, and sat down at the edge of the crater.
He remembered that day well.
It had been a Saturday. He and Barb had been dating for three months, and neither had really decided whether or not they were taking it seriously. The biggest thing on his mind was whether or not he was going to commit to an astronomy major or not. Those had been simpler times.
They had spent the day by the sea in Ocean Town and were driving back to campus when the enormous object crashed to earth. He being the space nut he was, he immediately turned off onto the access road, hoping to find a meteorite at the impact point. Instead, he had found the Roaming Eye.
Barb had been apprehensive about approaching the wrecked ship, but Clancy would not be deterred. He took a photo for posterity first, using the roof of his car as a makeshift tripod. Then he had walked right up to the ship with merry abandon - these days, as an OSS agent, he would have known to check for background radiation and other hazards first, and it made him cringe to remember how unprofessional he had once been.
In the soil around the ship, he had found the shattered remains of a green gem, and had excitedly picked them up to examine them. He would later learn that these were the shards of an unfortunate Peridot that had perished in the crash.
While he was shouting unrealistic and fantastic theories to Barb, the Crystal Gems arrived on the scene.
He remembered his awe upon seeing them. Pearl, graceful and fearless and fiercely protective of her leader; Garnet, stoic, mysterious and powerful; and then there was Rose Quartz herself, perhaps the most remarkable of them all, gentle and compassionate but the greatest warrior of them all. To an amateur Ufologist like himself, it was like walking in the presence of Caesar, Napoleon or the Quarrymen. He had so many questions of them - there was so much he needed, needed to know.
Rose walked past him, instead walking over to Barb. She had picked up a deep red gem - it was cracked but intact. Gently, Rose had taken the gem from her, holding it in her hands. She looked down upon it and wept a single tear.
There was a brilliant glow. Clancy had watched as the light around the gem seemed to shift, morphing into a short, humanoid shape. It fell to the floor, landing on its face - the light dimmed, revealing a red figure with square-shaped hair. He heard the Garnet's whisper - 'a Ruby.'
She began to try to stand out - Barb offered her hand to help, which she took. She began to babble - "What planet is this? What happened to my ship? I need to report to my supervisor!"
Barb put her hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.
"It's okay," she told her, "You're safe now..."
And there he was, standing off to the side, forgotten by everyone.
"Why did I come here?" Clancy asked himself, staring solemnly into the crater, "Nothing good ever came from this place..."
"Because you couldn't leave without coming back first."
Clancy got up and turned around. Garnet and Pearl were standing next to his car.
"Really, Garnet?" sighed Clancy, "We talked about this earlier. I have my orders."
"You're going to regret taking it, Clancy," said Garnet, "You know that."
"I've regretted everything I've done in this place," replied Clancy, "What's one more thing?"
He shook his head.
"What exactly are you hoping to achieve?" he demanded, "If I don't take it, they'll just send someone else to get it. And they'll be clumsy about it because they won't have my experience and they'll probably get somebody hurt. If I do it, it's done quietly and cleanly."
Garnet shook her head.
"Garnet, why don't we just stop him now?" demanded Pearl, "It's hardly like he deserves a chance!"
"Because they'll send another agent, Pearl," replied Clancy, "Just like I said. And that other agent might start looking into things - your things."
He walked back towards his car. As he passed her, Garnet put a hand on his arm.
"Make up a lie, Clancy," she urged, "You can tell them it wasn't here."
Clancy narrowed his eyes.
"I. Have. My. Orders," he snarled.
He got into his car and drove away.
There was a pillar of light as the warp pad activated. When it disappeared, Garnet and Pearl were standing in front of the temple door - they were immediately approached by Steven and Sadie, with Amethyst and Peridot hanging slightly back.
"Oh! Sadie, right? What are you doing here?" quizzed Pearl.
"What do you know about a ship that crashed twenty years ago?" asked Sadie.
Steven helpfully held up the photograph for them.
"Oh...that," said Pearl, "Uh..."
"It's a Roaming Eye," said Garnet, calmly, "It was probably here to check up on something Homeworld left behind..."
"In hindsight, probably the Cluster," Pearl interrupted quickly.
"Yes," nodded Garnet, "When we found it, it was damaged beyond repair. There were no survivors."
"Why didn't I know about this?" demanded Amethyst.
"There was a Lil' Butler marathon that night," replied Garnet, "You were with Greg."
"Yeah, that makes sense," admitted Amethyst.
"Sure does!" exclaimed Pearl, "And oh my goodness would you look at the time! I'm going back to my room to bed! Goodnight!"
She turned around and walked briskly into the temple.
"So there's nothing weird that could have happened with my parents, right?" asked Sadie.
She looked up at Garnet, trying to catch a glimpse of her eyes through her visor. She failed.
"Nothing," said Garnet, her tone final, "Goodnight, Sadie. Goodnight Steven."
She walked to the temple door.
"Don't I get a goodnight?" demanded Peridot.
"Goodnight, Peridot."
Garnet entered the temple and disappeared.
"Okay, quick question," said Amethyst, "Since when does Pearl have a bed?"
"She doesn't" replied Steven, clenching his fists, "They lied to us."
He turned to Sadie, whose expression was unreadable. There was a long silence.
"Library," she said at last, "Tomorrow. We're gonna ask Dad..."
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cutiecrates · 7 years ago
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Cutie Reviews: Tokyo Treat November 17
Hello! Welcome to another review :3 This one was kind of put off for a few days unintentionally as usual. I have not been having a good weekend. I spent the first half of it in the emergency room and being bed ridden, My broken T-key was giving me grief and being a pain until I managed to fix it, and I cut my finger on the grater and it took off a good layer of skin and hurts like crazy... 
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This months theme is... Flavorful Thanksgiving Feast!
Okay so like usual I forgot to take pics of the items obtained in the Lucky Treat box for the month. I don’t know why that keeps happening lately but here’s a list instead:
Boruto Naruto and Sasuke figures with poster
Chikinramen Wallet
Howl’s Moving Castle sticky notes and tin
Boruto Towel
Naruto Kurama plush charm
Splatoon Lil Judd cushion
Spirited Away balancing figures
Detective Konan Towel
Pokemon the movie 20th anniversary bag
Godzilla print clear folders
Mt. Fuji Soda gummies
Spirited Away No Face Figural Calendar
Pikachu Stainless Bottle
Splatoon KSA4 Acrylic cup
Yokai Watch Jibanyan Nyao Nyao Party Game
and Country Ma’am Gyokuro matcha green tea cookies
The special featured of the booklet details the special event known as Shichi-Go-San, celebrating Children the ages of 3, 5, and 7. As well as the best locations to admire Autumn foliage in Japan. The prize items for the month were Dr. Slump and Dragonball themed.
Before I get to the contents I wanted to mention that I noticed something in the booklet changed. The once “mysterious“ Dagashi Mix section now reveals what you get! This would have normally bugged me, but I never look in the book until after I see what I got, so I can still avoid spoilers~
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Alrighty, so these are our misc items of the crate: The drink, the DIY candy, the mystery toy or charm or accessory. I plan on covering the DIY candy next, but for now let’s focus on our cute drink and accessory item~
Our Drink is the delicious looking Kirin Chocolate Mint Milk Tea. I believe we had milk tea by this brand before, and it was pretty good last time so I had high hopes; especially since I ♥ anything mint-chocolate!
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
Ironically, while I don’t like milk or tea, I’ve been enjoying milk tea as of late. I especially love this Kirin brand, with their eye-catching and fun designs. The flavor was light, and it made me think of a sugar-free melted chocolate ice cream with mint flavoring. I really liked it- but I do wish it was stronger in taste.
Besides, the drink we also got this cute Gudetama Magnet, based on various egg dishes. I got this before in a prior box, but that one was animal themed :3 I really like sushi, so the one I got was perfect!
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
It’s not a food, but is is Gudetama. I love mystery/blind bag items like this too and I love finding them in the Tokyo Treat box. It’s fairly common and I appreciate it since it’s a lot more rare in the other ones.
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These are two of the Regular items in the booklet, including some Super Light Rice Crackers, the Wagashi item for the month made from White Rice found in Niigata. They are light and airy with a melting texture, and are flavored with a mixture of soy sauce and ginger.
They’re also gluten free, but 240 calories as a whole. I’m not really complaining though ;3 sometimes we need to indulge.
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
These are very yummy, and while I could taste a little bit of the ginger and soy sauce, the flavor combination also reminded of chili oil, minus the spice. The rice didn’t really have an identifiable taste, but that is a bit common with rice-based snacks. With these, we have the Sapporo Multi-veggie Sticks by Calbee. These fun little sticks boasts usage of SEVEN vegetables Σ(・口・) Including red pepper, pumpkin, spinach, carrot, red beet... and I’m guessing potato, tomato, and/or onion. Neither lists really go into detail about all seven. They’re a total of 116 calories. Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ Usually I like vegetable-themed chips or snacks. As much as I’m not a huge fan of vegetables themselves. I also generally like this brand; but I’m not a big fan of this particular blend. At first they weren’t so bad, they tasted like a plain potato. But now they kind of taste yucky O x < ‘ The plus side is, I do know that you can actually make a potato dish using stuff like this and a few other ingredients. A youtuber I like tried it out once so I might see if there’s something I can do with these.
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Well you know what they say, Chocolate makes everything better! And here we got some fun looking chocolate~♥
In order we have Choco Flakes Crisp Balls - Kinako, Kinako is a roasted soy flour that can be found on various sweets, mainly during Autumn/Fall to add a bit of a sweet and nutty flavor. Choco Flakes is a crisped cereal coated in flavored chocolate, and 267 calories!
Kinako is also what I keep claiming my Squishies smell like. If they don’t smell like rubber, this is that exact scent. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why- but it is.
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
These are very tasty x3 That’s really all I have to say about them though. I really enjoyed them, although I was perturbed by the large Calorie amount...
Speaking of high calories, we also get some Double Fromage Pocky! Premium or “special pocky“, which is pretty much just a smaller pocky with 3.2x more chocolate, both whipped and milk. Fromage meanwhile, is basically a fancy word for cheese, and the stick itself is chocolate, giving it a delicious and elegant twist.
Each stick is 120 cal. Something else I like is that you get three, individually wrapped packs in this box. Perfect for keeping them fresh, or gifting to someone special~
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
The stick itself is pretty plain (but that is common with pocky), but the thick layer of coating blends in with it wonderfully and totally redeems it. It kind of reminded me of cookies and cream, with a hint of sweet cheese-flavor.
Lastly is this big, eye-catching Giant Chocolate Snack! This crazy looking stick is bigger then a drink bottle- and it comes in a colorful, cool looking wrapper!
Despite it’s size it is very light and airy feeling, and apparently made from peanut and corn puffs and is very light in texture. Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥
It didn’t taste bad at all, but it’s not really my sort of thing. Like texture wise it was really nice, but when I ate it I noticed it was really bitter tasting, and not in a good way like dark chocolate.
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Keeping with the sweets theme, we have two pink candies, including a twisty Twisted Marshmallow that was available in a variety of colors- but tasted like plain marshmallow no matter which type you got.
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
I’m obsessed with marshmallows! This was ultra-soft and stretchy and squishy, I couldn’t help but play with it before eating it~
The other item is something I’ve had before in two other flavors (Soda and Fruit blend), but seeing this vibrant pink tube got me veeeeeeery excited! This is the brand new Strawberry Ramune by Morinaga.
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
I’ve been a big fan of these cute bottle candies since I tried my first one, and this flavor didn’t disappoint. It tastes like any other Japanese strawberry candy, and the container is a great way to keep them protected- and it looks adorable~
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You know, I almost feel like this crate was catered for me this month- Strawberry candies, mint-chocolate milk tea, a yummy rice snack, and now TWO cola candies?!
We have a Cola Gummy, as well as these Vending Machine Cola Gummies ♥ Two similar, but very different gummy candies.
The Cola Gummy is a decently sized gummy covered in sugar for a total of only 39 calories. As you can see in the picture, it’s wider and bigger then the biggest gummy in the vending machine pack!
Ratings: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
The cola gummy is pretty tasty at first, it reminded me of my favorite cola gummies, or the chupa chups cola lollipops. But days later when I finished it, I noticed the flavor remained for about five seconds- then started to taste a little gross. So it’s perfectly fine if you eat it within the time span of opening it!
I also don’t like that was it really hard DX it reminded me of those soft jelly gummies, but it did not match in texture.
Meanwhile, the vending machine set says it is 73 calories PER gummy, or pack. I can’t really tell. It’s by a brand I’ve seen before who made some other cola candies I haven’t been able to find myself. 
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
I really like the fun design inspiration for this pack ♥ You have cans, drinking bottles, large cans, and larger drink bottles. The flavors also vary like most cola candies, in that the yellow/clear part is usually pineapple or lemon flavored, while the brown is cola. and I noticed they are still really soft and taste good a week or two after opening them.
Ironically, while this set is more fun and held up a lot better then the other one, I think the flavor for the other gummy (before it went south) was better.
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Of course you can’t celebrate the last bit of Fall/Autumn without including some fun sweet potato snacks. Calbee returns with these Osatsu Snacks, made from steamed and baked Anno sweet potato. This is a special flavor, in that you can only get it during the cold seasons.
(Fun bit of Trivia, Osatsu celebrated their 35th anniversary last year!)
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 
These fun, scallop-looking chips are light and crispy, and they essentially just tasted like regular potato chips with a touch of sweetness. They were pretty nice.
I know, you’re all probably observing that strange jelly looking stuff right? You’re not the only ones, I was perplexed by the Baked Sweet Potato Yokan too.
A Yokan is a jelly-like snack usually made from red beans and often included chestnuts. I noticed it seems to be a lot more “common“ during cooler seasons, and I’ve also seen potato variations such as this, and purple. The snack has a jelly texture, but consistency of beans.
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥
It’s... unique. I’ll put it like that. It’s not bad though, it tastes like a buttery potato and is really, really sweet. In terms of personal opinion I’m sort of in the middle with it, I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. It’s unusual, but it was fun to try!
(I was actually tempted to see if I could melt this down and put it on bread, just to see what it was like. . . . but I decided against it when I thought it would have disgraced the efforts someone put into making it. I know I’m weird.)
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Of course, despite how good a box is, there’s always one or two snacks that leave you feeling like “they’re okay...“ or “ew!“. That’s part of the experience though :3
The first one is a Yakisoba Sauce Snack composed of small puffs (rice or barley I assume), and snacking noodle pieces.
Rating: ♥ ♥
I’m not a bit Yakisoba fan, I’ll admit that now. The packaging is adorable, and if you like stuff like this you get a big amount of it in the little bag (it’s like the smaller the bag, the fuller it is, am I right?). I liked the little puffs, but in general the flavor was too strong for me and I didn’t really like it.
I did have someone who did though, so it made a nice surprise snack for them later.
This other snack fared a little better, not because I like squid- but some squid things aren’t terrible and I try to give them a chance. This is a bag of SQUID CRACKERS!
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥
This is a savory, fried snack- and I know that probably sounds like heaven right now. Well in comparison to other squid snacks I tried and disliked, it kind of was. The texture was sort of a mix between crispy and crunchy, and while I ate it with no problem, I wasn’t too crazy about the underlying squidiness/sea food flavor I was picking up.
I will say that it’s on the lighter side though, so if you’re a fan of those flavors it might be too light. For me personally it was just enough.
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We’re down to our final two items of the November crate :D We have Mild Roast flavor Pretz featuring a character I’ve seen before but I’m not familiar really with. I see him and his friends on a lot of stuff, but it’s not a series I‘m familiar with.
Each stick or pack in total is 114 calories.
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
These are really good. What I enjoy about Pretz is that they are essentially a savory/alternate pocky. They’re crispy but a light snack, and there’s tons of flavor varieties.
These taste like a plain pretz stick (which is already hard for me to describe) with a light buttered taste, like snacking crackers. After everything else in the crate I tried though, it was a welcoming addition.
As usual we also get a monthly Umaibo, this time the flavor was Cheese! Rarely do I ever find an Umaibo I dislike, and of course this was no exception. I mean come on, it’s CHEESE flavored ;3
Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Now I can’t say I loved it more then the corn potage flavor, because that one is the ultimate champion of Umaibo. But it was definitely in the top 10! It tasted like most other crispy, airy cheese puffed snack I’ve eaten.
♥ Cutie Ranking ♥
Quality - 4 out of 5. I don’t think I had anything bad to remark upon this time, and for the price paid I believe it was fair. The box was fine, and I loved the adorable bonus item.
Content - 4 out of 5. It wasn’t perfect, but I really enjoyed it. We got a nice blend of sweet and savory, which I prefer and find more enjoyable then just one type of thing.
Theme - 4 out of 5. Most of the stuff definitely made me think of Fall/Autumn. I can’t say I thought of Thanksgiving, although the potato stuff did kind of remind me of the Holiday. I know they could have done even more to make the theme better.
Total Rank: 12 out of 15 Cuties. I’m not sure if I preferred this box to any in particular. It was definitely good, maybe even great- but I know they could have also made it a little bit better in terms of theme- although I don’t think it was necessary. I fairly enjoyed everything the two things I wasn’t in love with still scored decently.
♥ Cutie’s Scale of Yummy ♥
1. Rice Crackers - The best snack in the entire box x3 I LOVED these!
2. Chocolate Mint Milk Tea -  I wish the flavor was stronger, but it was still really tasty. I love the cool f
3. Choco Flakes - Yummy :P
4. Fromage Pocky - Fancy and tasty!
5. Cola Gummy - I hated the rough texture >x< but the flavor was better then the other one when I first opened it.
6. Vending Machine Cola Gummies - These were good, I loved the design/motif and details. But in terms of flavoring, the other candy was just a little better... 
7. Strawberry Ramune Candy - I love strawberry-anything!
8. Osatsu Snack - These were tasty, but the flavoring was a little light in them. I didn’t hate them at all though, sometimes you need the light sweetness to balance out all the stronger flavors.
9. Twisted Marshmallow - Same as below, again. Delicious and kawaii, but nothing different. I adore marshmallows though so I’m not really complaining.
10. Cheese Umaibo - Same as below, it was delicious but nothing new or exciting. 
11. Mild Roast Pretz - I actually really liked these :3 but they were fairly plain in comparison to the rest of the items. 
12. Giant Chocolate Snack -  It wasn’t bad either, It just wasn’t my thing you know? I don’t like peanuts much and it wasn’t the type of bitter I enjoy. 
13. Sweet Potato Yokan - I didn’t hate it, I didn’t love it. It was sweet and buttery.  
14. Squid Crackers - Meh. They weren’t bad honestly.
15. Veggie Sticks - They weren’t bad, but they were kind of bland in my opinion...
16. Yakisoba Sauce Snack - I’m sorry, I just don’t like it!
Alrighty, we’ve come to the end of another Cutie Review. I hope it was okay, and I apologize to anyone who might have actually been waiting for this. I still have 2 November boxes I need to cover before I can move on to December- but I plan to hurry up and do the DIY candy review first since it won’t take nearly as long to do.
Here’s a fun question in the mean time; Do you guys like potatoes? Sweet, Purple, Regular? Do you have a specific dish you like? Be sure to tell me :3
Until next time, stay Sweet Potato Cute!
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freezing-kaiju · 7 years ago
Text
Stardate: 2689
PROLOGUE: Cinnamon Recovery
a prologue to me and @pupmon1‘s Fire Emblem Heroes fic Stardate: 2689
Warnings: Obsession, dysphoria, smoking weed
additional note: some of this is kinda borrowed from my own eperiences being trans and having a (way less unhealthy) crush that amounted to nothing, though the person i had a crush on was a straight girl.
A WHILE AGO, 2688
It was just temporary, Faye told herself as she exited the shuttle onto the outpost. Just a temporary assignment, maybe a month. Maybe not even that. Her beloved Alm would come around soon, she was sure of it. She had done so much for him! Sacrificed so much for him. He had to love her...
Next to her, Silque was still worrying. Faye had been dangerously obsessed with Alm...so much so that she had neglected herself, her hobbies, her family...she had even put off her own transition after she heard Alm say offhand that he liked men more... to say that Silque was concerned was an understatement.
And the others in Alm’s group had apparently agreed with Silque. They agreed to assign Faye to a position far away from Alm...a place where she could recover and maybe pick up less self-destructive habits. Celica’s outpost. Clair had also been sent.
As they exited the shuttle, Celica was there to greet them. “Hello! I’m glad to see our new recruits. Welcome to the outpost. I’m running it until my actual assignment is ready.”
“We’re happy to be of help,” Silque said. “Alm told us about you, said something about knowing each other a long time ago.”
Celica nodded. “Yes, we knew each other. Dated a little.” Celica glanced away. “Then we...found each other...and broke it off. Also he was a bit of a...well...he’s unobservant as hell...”
“...he is not...” Faye muttered petulantly.
Celica stopped and glanced at Faye. “...are you...Faye?” she asked carefully, glancing at her pad. “That’s the right name, right?”
“Yes, correct.” Faye looked up at her. Celica looked...well, to put it bluntly, pretty. But...Silque did too...so she was totally still straight. Completely normal for a straight girl to think that her commanding officer or her closest friend is really cute...
Celica smiled kindly. “Please, correct any mistakes made by myself or my staff. I...remember Alm talking about his friends, but you didn’t go by Faye then. I may slip up, I apologize if I do.”
“It’s okay...” Faye said shyly. “I...don’t mind...”
“Alright,” Celica said with a smile. Then she lifted her head and called out. “Saber! Show these crewmen to their quarters!” Then she lowered her voice. “I hope you don’t mind bunking together.”
“...I suppose...” Faye said.
“Oh, that would be wonderful,” Silque said with a smile. “Will Clair be staying elsewhere?
“Yes. She’ll be with...oh! The whitewings!” Celica smiled when she looked at her pad. “Good luck...they’re molting…”
“I’ll manage,” Clair said.
Celica chuckled nervously. “You will wake up with feathers everywhere…” She stopped as a large man with an eyepatch walked up.
“Hello, I am your deputy. Get used to taking orders from me. Now let’s go.”
Faye and Silque nodded. But, as the others followed Saber, Celica grabbed Silque’s arm.
“Wait a moment…” she said softly. “I want to talk to you alone…” She watched the others walk away, then sighed. “I’ve been informed this isn’t a regular reassignment.”
Silque sighed. “Faye has had an...obsession with Alm for a while. Lately it’s gotten worse. She’s...stopped taking her hormones, sleeping irregularly, stalking him for hours on end, not eating to look pretty for him...he finds it very creepy and I’m concerned for her as a friend so...”
Celica paused, then her shoulders dropped. “She didn’t take the revelation that he’s...gay...well...did she?”
“...that’s why she stopped taking the hormones...” Silque said. “And she...cried...for about a week...”
Celica sighed and closed her eyes. “Alright...I’ll do what I can to keep her busy….” Celica scrolled through her pad and nodded. “I think I’ll set her with...Mae. I think she could use a friend like her. Is there anything else you would suggest? You know her best...beyond Kliff…”
“...keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn’t do anything drastic...and maybe try and make sure she’s eating regularly. I try to help her with that but she doesn’t always listen to me.”
“Alright. I’ll make sure Mae knows.” Celica stopped and smiled. “Mae is one of those people...ya know...great for picking someone up…” Celica shook the lazy smile off her face. “Alright! With that settled, you should get going back to the group.”
“She sounds fun. And yes, let’s.”
------
“Hey new roomies!!” Mae said as Faye and Silque entered her room. Mae darted up to Silque. “Ooo, you’re pretty.” Then her gaze flicked to Faye. “And cute!”
“Mae...stop…” Genny mumbled from her bunk.
“Thank you,” Silque said, blushing.
Faye looked away awkwardly and mumbled, “...I’m not gay...”
“It wouldn’t matter…” Genny muttered. “Mae is Mae.”
Mae put her three-fingered hands on her hips and spun around to face her friend. “Hey, can’t a girl pay someone an compliment?”
Oh no, Faye thought as she stared at Mae. She’s hot... “I...suppose so...sure...”
Mae smiled and nodded. “See? She gets it.”
Silque nodded. “Yes, definitely.”
Mae smiled and suddenly spun around and hugged Silque and Faye. “They understand me. I know we’re going to be the best of friends!”
She smells like strawberries… Faye thought.
---
Mae slid into the seat beside Faye, lonely Faye in the corner, and noticed she was just moving her mash around with her spork.
“Hey Faye. It looks like you haven’t eaten anything...is something wrong?” Mae asked softly.
“...Alm hasn’t replied to any of my messages...” Faye said.
“I’m sure he’s just busy, you know how higher-ups can get.” Mae batted at the air. “All ‘I have no time for fun stuff, I have to serious all the time’ and what not. It even gets to Celica sometimes. Just give him time.”
“It’s been like...a week...” Faye sighed. “I knew it...he doesn’t care about me...”
Mae frowned and poked Faye’s nose. “Hey, don’t be such a negative nelly. Just...give him some time…he might be on a big mission to save Valm again...or something.”
“...that’s the excuse he’s used six times already...” Faye pouted. “Last time he was just on vacation...”
Mae squirmed and pulled away, deflating and ducking her head down. “...please be happy…” she muttered. “...I...I don’t know what to say...but I want you to be happy…”
Faye looked at her quizzically and attempted to smile. “I uh...do you...do you have an actual kitchen on this station?”
Mae suddenly popped up and smiled. “Yep!”
“Good...cooking...cooking helps..”
Mae nodded and popped to her feet, taking Faye’s hand. “Come on, follow me! It’s in the officer’s mess.”
“Sounds good,” Faye said, standing up.
Mae smiled and pulled Faye to the officer’s mess. Saber looked up from his table with a frown, but a wave from Celica silenced him before he could complain about the two going into the kitchen.
“Here it is! An actual kitchen!” Mae said, twirling a little. “And a replicator that will make any raw ingredient you want!”
Faye’s eyes almost lit up. “Oooo, this is great! I’ll get started right away...”
“One...one moment...I need to….” Mae crept over to the replicator, glancing at the officers eating before punching something in. A strange green leaf and blue fruit appeared and she darted to the corner with it. She squeezed out the center of the blue fruit onto the green leaf, rolling it into a smoke and lighting it.
“S-sorry…” she stuttered. “I need something to block it all out for a bit…”
“Block what out?”
“I’m…” she shivered and looked down. “I’m...an empath…” Mae looked away, waiting for Faye to send her away...most do.
“Huh.” Faye said. “That’s interesting...what’s that like?”
Mae was surprised by the question, and hesitated to take a draw. “Well...it’s...hard. I feel everything around me….especially when people aren’t happy. I want to help people be happy...for a purely selfish reason...so...I guess that’s bad of me…”
“Doesn’t really sound that bad to me,” Faye said. “I’m...not really that much of a selfless person...but...I guess wanting to make others happy is a good goal.”
“Even...even if it’s so I don’t have to feel their pain?” Mae asked timidly.
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess.” Faye smiled. “Now ah...lemme try and remember the recipe...” She walked over to the replicators. “...hmm...warm milk, salted butter, salt, flour, granulated sugar, cinnamon...” She trailed off, listing ingredients.
Mae peered over Faye’s shoulder. “What are you making?”
“Cinnamon rolls,” Faye responded.
“Ooo~ Those sound good! Gargoyle loves cinnamon rolls!”
“Who- oh, right, your bug thing.”
Mae smiled as a little bug fluttered out of her shirt and landed on her head. “He helps me focus.”
“He’s...cute,” Faye said. “Can I pet him?”
Mae nodded and held out her hand, Gargoyle fluttering down to her palm. He looked up at Faye and wiggled his antene.
Faye gently stroked him with her finger. “Good lil bug.”
Mae smiled as Gargoyle nuzzled Faye’s hand. “He wants you to be happy too.”
Faye cooed. “You’re both adorable...I mean uh. He is. You’re...wait...uh..well I mean you’re ...cute but like...I...” she stuttered.
Mae chuckled and took a draw before speaking in a low voice. “It blocks my empathy...but not that much, cutie. I know what you mean to say.”
“N-no I don’t! I’m not-” The replicator dinged and Faye turned around. “Oh, my ingredients! E-excuse me...”
Mae sighed and watched Faye move around her, running to prepare her treat. “...there’s nothing wrong with what you are…” she muttered to herself. She let out a long sigh and leaned on the wall, putting her smoke in her mouth.
Silque sidled up to her and leaned on the wall. “...she’s always denied it...still, it’s...it’s nice seeing her cook again.”
“Ah! Medic!” Mae scrambled to hide the smoke that she technically wasn’t supposed to have.
“...I saw nothing.” Silque said with a slight grin.
Mae squirmed and looked down. “Don’t tell the captain…” she whispered.
“Okay. Is it bad for you? I’m not used to treating your species...”
“It...can be...addictive…” she muttered, taking a quick draw before hiding it behind her back. “...not feeling is...nice...but Celica doesn’t want me to be addicted to something...she’s afraid I’ll hurt myself…”
“She seems very nice,” Silque said. “And I can tell she cares a lot about you...are you two together?”
“Much to Saber’s disdain.” Mae giggle and grinned at Silque. “But...we’re not exclusive, if you’re wondering.”
Silque blushed. “I ah...don’t know how to respond to that...other than you could do a lot better than me...
“But you’re cute and beautiful,” Mae said with a smile. “And I can sense that you’re a good person. Good and kind and...worried about your friend.”
Silque blushed even more, then looked wistfully over at Faye. “...still...if i’m in a relationship...I’d want to bring Faye in...” She looked down.
Mae grinned and chuckled. “Gimme some time with ‘er. Empaths are really good at bringing out people’s true emotions.”
“That would be really nice,” Silque said. “...she’s already happier than I’ve seen her in months...”
“Then good! I’m doing my job right!” Mae bounced a little, sticking her smoke in her mouth. “I’m...gonna relax while she cooks...tell me if Celica is coming…” she said once she stopped moving, lowering her head and breathing in the sweet smoke as she closed her eyes.
“Alright.” Silque sighed. “...she’s quite nice...and beautiful.”
Mae hummed out an agreement and blew out some grey blue smoke. “...yeah...she is…”
---
A few weeks later, and Faye was...depressed doesn’t begin to describe it. Celica had received news that Alm had finally asked Gray out. She hadn’t meant for this news to reach Faye but...of course it had... and Faye hadn’t been eating, hadn’t been sleeping, hadn’t been taking her medication, hadn’t left her room since.
Silque had been very quietly panicking about it ever since. Faye had made so much progress...and now with one piece of news the whole domino set of recovery had been knocked down. Even Mae was getting worried and nervous, trying to help but not able to. Neither had been sleeping well, so when Faye suddenly got up and entered the bathroom, they woke up.
Faye flipped on the light and rubbed her eyes, turning to the mirror. She scratched her face, twitching at the stubble that scratched at her skin. She stared at the mirror and let out a long sigh. She looked like...him again.
“Maybe...Alm would like him...” she muttered to herself. “Maybe if...if I went back to being him...Alm would...would like me…”
She looked down...and felt a hand on her shoulder, and Silque’s soft, wavering voice in her ear. “Please don’t, Faye. Please. You’ve...you’ve improved so much recently, don’t throw yourself away like this.”
Faye sighed and closed her eyes. “...what does...it matter…” she muttered softly.
Two arms wrapped around her waist. “...he doesn’t make you happy…” Mae muttered, nuzzling into her back, her antena tickling her neck. “You deserve to be happy…”
“...I...” Faye looked back up at herself in the mirror. Mae and Silque were both...almost cuddling her...this was the most affection she’d received in her entire life.
Faye burst into tears. “...I...I just...great Mila, I don’t deserve you two...”
“Love isn’t something you deserve…” Mae muttered. “It’s something that comes, and you can accept it or not.”
“...I...” Oh, what was the point of denying it anymore? She’d felt this way for a while, and just buried it under more misplaced obsession for Alm. “...I-I’ll accept it...”
Mae smiled and nuzzled Faye. “...I knew you would eventually…” she said softly. Then she pulled away, taking Faye’s hand and leading her to sit on the toilet.
Silque inched over and smiled. “You mind if we… at the risk of sounding irritatingly cliched, give you a makeover?”
Mae’s atene twitched. “You deserve to feel comfortable and pretty.”
Faye hesitated before nodding. “Y-yeah...thanks…”
Mae smiled and hugged Faye. “We’ll take care of you, Faye.”
Mae then grabbed a razor as Silque started to deal with Faye’s hair.
---
“There we go…” Mae muttered as she pulled away.
“...wow...” Faye said, looking in the mirror. “I look...I...”
“You look beautiful,” Silque said.
Faye smiled and nodded a little. “I-I...thank you,” she muttered softly. “Thank you both of you.”
Mae nodded and took her hand. “Let’s...go lay down together.”
Faye blushed and smiled. “...yeah, that...that sounds really fantastic.”
Mae nodded and led Faye back into the bedroom, letting Silque flick off the light as she laid down on the bed, pulling Faye beside her. She nuzzled into Faye’s chest. “You’re...so warm now…”
Faye was blushing immensely. “I-if I’m making you uncomfortable I can go...”
Mae raised her gaze and her eyes narrowed. Her antennae twitched, flicking Faye on the nose. “No, you silly girl. Move and I’ll hit you with my antenna again.”
Faye giggled. “O-ok.” She snuggled closer to Mae and felt Silque nuzzle in from her back. “...this is...really nice.”
Mae smiled and closed her eyes. “...you’re so warm...I can see you with my eyes shut…” Mae nuzzled closer. “...it’s nice…”
“...I’ve actually...uh...dreamed about this for...for a while,” Silque said nervously.
Mae’s antennae twitched, one barely visible over Faye’s head. “...I can see you too...heheh…”
“...I assume that’s a good thing,” Silque said.
“Feels good,” Faye said with a little hum.
Mae nodded and sighed softly. “Yeah...it does...it’s so good…” she muttered. “Let’s get some...good long sleep...we can tell Celica in the morning.”
“...ya...” Faye murmured as she drifted off to sleep.
---
Celica paused in her working, hearing a very familiar sound. She turned around and held out her arms, grunting as Mae suddenly jumped into a hug.
“Ah! Hello Mae! You must be feeling better if you’re jumping around the place,” Celica said with a smile, lightly blowing on Mae’s antenna.
“Faye’s cooking again. And eating, and shaving, and taking her hormones, and...” Mae paused. “...and, uh, me and her and Silque slept together last night.”
“Wait, human slept together, or your slept together?” Celica asked carefully, knowing that means two completely different things.
“...both?”
Celica sighed and dropped her shoulders, setting Mae down. “I mean...physical um...pleasure...or emotional?”
“Oh ya. Emotional.”
Celica patted Mae’s head. “Ah, okay, your slept together. I’m glad for you three then.”
“They uh...said they wanted to...to share it with you, too...”
“I’d love that,” Silque said, coming out of the kitchen with an omelette and a cinnamon roll. “Faye’s cooking extra well today,” she added with a smile.
Celica smiled and nodded. “I’m glad she’s happy...and I’d love to share.” There was a pause before she glanced at Mae. “Well...if you’re going to join us, you should know about this.”
Mae noticed the grin on Celica’s face and she backed away. “N-no, don’t you da-” she was cut off when Celica reached up and gently rubbed one of her antena, her expression melting into one of dreamy happiness.
“Oh so that’s what that does,” Silque said.
“I call it her ‘relax’ switch,” Celica said with a smile. “It’s better than her smoking her powers away. And sometimes you just need her to be quiet for a little while,” she added quietly.
Mae shook her head as Celica pulled away. “Is it possible to both love and hate an action?”
“Oh definitely,” Silque said with a grimace, thinking about all the times a while ago when Faye would just...rant about Alm for hours. It was sweet to hear her talk...but still. Overall that whole experience was just sad.
“Well...I love you stroking my antenna...I hate when you do it when I’m standing…” Mae grumbled, crossing her arms. Then she sniffed the air and smiled. “...something smells really good~”
Faye walked out of the kitchen, wearing an apron and oven mitts and carrying a huge platter of cinnamon rolls. She smiled at Mae, Silque, and Celica. “I made some muffins too. I just feel like...this is good. Cooking helps...”
“Cook all the things!” Mae exclaimed with a smile. “We will eat it!”
“Hey hey hey! Don’t make promises the human metabolism can’t keep,” Celica said with a laugh.
“Well I can keep it! Cook all the things if it makes you happy.”
“Well, everyone else here can have some too, of course. And thanks, I...I think I will.” Faye grinned and set the platter down on a table. The moment it hit the table, a pink haired girl with white wings flittered over and smiled. “Cinnamon rolls!” she exclaimed before grabbing a plate full of them before darting over to her sisters, leaving feathers in her wake.
Mae frowned and wafted the air to keep the feathers away from the cinnamon rolls. “Stupid white wings and their molting feathers.”
Celica chuckled. “They can’t help it.”
Delthea snuck up behind them and put four cinnamon rolls on her plate before sneaking back to the table, muttering, “...wish Maria were here...”
Mae smiled and waved at her. “Hope you like those cinnamon rolls, Delthea!” she called out. Delthea jumped and glared at her, muttering, “...thought I was sneakier than that.”
Mae frowned and crossed her arms. Celica grabbed a plate, placed three cinnamon rolls on the plate, then took Mae’s hand. She led her to a table, and rubbed her antena, letting her relax and lean on her. Celica smiled and fed Mae as she massaged her antena.
Silque and Faye sat down to either side of them, both with plates full of cinnamon rolls. Faye was eating somewhat more hungrily than usual; like she was making up for the days recently when she hadn’t been eating. Silque was eating hers with tiny delicate bites with a spork and knife.
Faye poked Celica’s cheek. “You got a bit of icing on your face,” she said..then leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “There, I got it...I can’t believe I did that oh gosh...”
Celica giggled and leaned in, kissing Faye on the nose. “You’re so cute, Faye.”
Faye blushed, accentuating her freckles. “I...thanks, Celica..you’re way cuter than me, all three of you are.”
Celica and Slique glanced at each other and chuckled. “We disagree, Faye,” they said together.
Mae simply closed her eyes and sighed contently. “...I can see you…all of you...” She reached out and pulled all of them into a big hug.
“I guess that’s your way of saying you love us?” Silque guessed with a giggle.
Mae just nodded.
Faye grinned and sighed. “...gods, I’m happier than I’ve been in a long, long time.”
Silque smiled and nuzzled Faye gently. “Good...that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
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lysitheaioandeuropa · 7 years ago
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1-100 cute questions
:~)
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?- more cereal than milk! it has to be crunchy and milk is fucking gross, even though i use almond milk instead
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?- FUCK yeah, especially if it's also sunny outside
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?- grocery receipts are the usual culprit. maybe i should make my own bookmarks!
4: how do you take your coffee/tea?- rn i'm having sugar free white chocolate w half & half and 3 splenda
5: are you self-conscious of your smile?- i'm self conscious of my entire existence my friend
6: do you keep plants?- yes! she gave me and orchid and a bamboo plant a while back, and i have ian my aloe/succulent
7: do you name your plants?- lmfao yes, ian! she named the bamboo melman, and i never named the orchid. zack and sabrina are no longer w us unfortunately
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?- i used to write and draw a lot. i don't get a chance to do it as often now but i rly am trying more. i'll even try my hand at inktober this year but yikes scared bc i can't actually draw
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?- hell yeah bitch if i am in the mood for it
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?- all of the above? lmao. my back is most cozy but sleep paralysis, so a mix of side stomach like its a specific diagonal ass position on my bed lol
11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?- "coming this soon"
12: what's your favorite planet?- FUCKING JUPITER BRO OMFG MY URL ARE TWO OF MY FAVE MOONS OF JUPITER TEST ME BITCH
13: what's something that made you smile today?- i don't think i've smiled today? maybe something michelle said earlier when we went to lowe's
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?- *takes pics of my current place*might have a little more aesthetic to it just bc location though. and if i live in a bigger city than orlando that means i have more money to REALLY fulfill my aesthetic wishes
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!- Recent work by planetary scientists has indicated that the deep atmospheres of Jupiter and Saturn may contain chunks of diamond floating in a liquid hydrogen-helium fluid. MEANING, it rains diamonds on jupiter
16: what's your favorite pasta dish?- permission crusted chicken, w angel hair in a lemon butter sauce
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?- i was going for a magenta over the summer and was p successful but my mom paid for me to not keep lightening and shit, that wasn't my money so idc lol rn its auburn-ish. i rly do still want a light blond/almost gray though
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.- the time i got incredibly drunk, like, throwing up and dying can't even walk drunk like wow i'm not like that lmao so when that happens it's wild
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?- i have multiple journals and a sketch book. the sketch book is whatever i feel inspired to draw atm and bc thats so rare i just be picking it up and going lmao. i hardly write anymore, these questions kinda keep me going
20: what's your favorite eye color?- light brown is vastly underrated tbh, like yeah green is cool but i have always been a sucker for hazel or just noticeably lighter brown eyes. i remember this one boy in the 8th grade had me swooning w that alone lmao and ofc my gf now its soo nice
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.- i no longer have it, but i had the same jansport since the seventh grade. i used to customize it and sew on letters or iron on, change it up ever so often, and got rid of it senior year of high school
22: are you a morning person?- i really am not, but everyone thinks i am since i'm up at 6am even the days i ain't got shit to do
23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?- PLAY VIDEO GAMES. draw, do these questions, sometimes even brainstorm ideas about books i'll never write
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?- shit every single one of them? well nvm, yeah there is. jordan. that's my ride or die forreal and honestly i think she does know ABSOLUTELY everything there is to know about me. timmy too actually!
25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?- hmm idk if it counts but this one "abandoned house" in the gables to smoke, and the rooftop of merrick park late at night
26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?- bro i had these low top black and white converse that i got for christmas one year from this boy that rly liked me lmao i kept them for a hotttt minute, through college i think but had to throw them away when the sole finally gave out
27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?- just mint is fine
28: sunrise or sunset?- sunset
29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?- just how she remembers and notices absolutely everything. i moved a pin in my room once and after not having been over for a week she asked me where it was as soon as she walked in
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?- yeah last night when i was home alone and i swear i thought i heard knocks on my bedroom door which would be impossible. fuck no i didn't open it
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.- i think socks are cool, they make my feet soft if i put them on immediately after showering & moisturizing. they protect your heels from getting too cracked as well. i don't care for white socks, but am a slut for black no show ones. i sometimes have to buy kids socks bc my feet are so fucking small that no show, still show. i like aesthetic socks! like the ones w cartoons and stuff like that. and knee high socks can be sexy, just maybe not on me?
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.- i don't be w friends like that? OH but this one night we went to see Laidback Luke at Space and then we went to Nikki beach to drink some more and watch the sun rise and we all rly bonded and i learned some shit about my friends i def ain't know before it was rly nice. there was a dog we met there named molly LMFAO
33: what's your fave pastry?- i like lemon and red velvet stuff. guava and cheese pastries are good too i miss them
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?- okay i didn't rly have any stuffed animals as a kid, but that boy i was obsessed with, omar, he gave me a plush lil puppy one year for christmas and omg i cherished it lmao. but then my dog got it and i was so sad :(
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?- FUCK YEAH I DO. i use them often, though not as often as before like i need to get back on track w being organized
36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?- arctic monkeys, always
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?- clean!!!! i finished cleaning it completely today and wow i feel like a brand new person
38: tell us about your pet peeves!- messes stress me outtttttt, like gross unhygienic messes omfg
39: what color do you wear the most?- black bitch, next
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?- i have these 1/4 carat diamond earrings that i received as a christmas gift last year from one of my kids and it was just so sweet and i rly love them, they're the only earrings i wear now
41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?- the zodiac series! and lord of shadows!
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!- no i don't, not yet at least. i would like to find a rly rly nice one, maybe we'll go hunting for one next weekend. there are two rly good boba places i like though!
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?- michelle maybe? and no gaze, we just noticed the starts were nice during that hurricane lmao
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?- july 8, 2017 it was short lived limited to just that day lmao but it was nice
45: do you trust your instincts a lot?- some times? my instincts don't be telling me a lot tbh
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.- "what did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis"
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?- sea food? fucking pickles!! mustard too
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?- roaches, and possibly hell yeah
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?- i do! but i have apple music now so i do not buy music or anything any more
50: what's an odd thing you collect?- tickets. plane tickets, parking tickets, concert tickets, admission tickets, sometimes even receipts, if it has a nice enough memory attached to it i collect it
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?- nothing i can think of at the moment
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?- salt bae, all the "it" memes, the neo yokio memes, "i had to do it to em," x-files memes
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?- i'm familiar w rocky horror & the heathers, love beattle juice, haven't watched pulp fiction
54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?- myself whenever i look in the mirror
55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?- i don't rly be doing shit "just to prove a point" thats rly petty
56: what are some things you find endearing in people?- love when their faces light up talking about some shit that gets them hype
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?- i rly don't fucking care for bohemian rhapsody like why is that a thing
58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?- i am vodka aunt
59: what's your favorite myth?- I LOVE ALL GREEK MYTHOLOGY EQUALLY. norse mythology is cool too, as is celtic but i think greek is my fave
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?- poetry is hard to get into bc so much of it doesn't resonate w me or comes off as fake deep tumblr posts (i'm looking @ you milk and honey). howl by allen ginsberg is still my fave
61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?- i'm always surprised to be getting any gifts at all, i don't think i have ever received anything "stupid." my gf used to love giving me food and candy though but like i'm fat so no. and i don't give gifts without putting any thought into it so i have never given a "stupid" gift either.
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?- no, i drink ice cold water and coffee. sometimes crystal light which isn't rly juice to me i think its just flavored water
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?- nigga YES! i just reorganized my entire bookshelf and my itunes is not as neat bc i'm behind but i also keep that rly meticulously done
64: what color is the sky where you are right now?- blue-ish gray
65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?- my gf, lmao. thuy!!!! nick and andres too omg!!
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?- not roses, it'd be an assortment of a ton of flowers, lots of pink and green and white
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?- i fucking THRIVE it's nice, scary movie and reading weather
68: what's winter like where you live?- it's FAKE AS HELL. i wish it just a tad cooler, like ten or fifteen degrees
69: what are your favorite board games?- i like scategories and the game of life. candyland!
70: have you ever used a ouija board?- those are caucasian activities no thank you
71: what's your favorite kind of tea?- great tea or tazo passion tea
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?- HELL YEAH and i'll note it down multiple times like written, typed, phone agenda, etc it's hard and i hate my shit memory
73: what are some of your worst habits?- procrastination is the worst i think
75: tell us about your pets!- i don't have any :( i would count zeus but i'm also deathly allergic to him
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?- yeah!!!!! smh
77: pink or yellow lemonade?- "why not both?" probably pink more
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?- hate that shit they're so ugly and annoying and gross and hate how they talk like bro
79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?- i never thought my mom cared about me tbh but she threw me a huge graduation/birthday party i cried.
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?- they're a nude/beige, i didn't pick it but i'm also not painting over. its nice though
81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.- this sounds nice in theory but i dont rly have the energy for it rn lol
82: are/were you good in school?- i was but i coasted, had i tried a lot harder and dedicated more time to it i could have been better
83: what's some of your favorite album art?-i can't think of any rly  
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?- i have to add to what i have on my back, and have a few more i would like but am not sure about
85: do you read comics? what are your faves?- i do! i'm actually reading one now on tumblr, its called countdown to countdown and its rather interesting. i like twd comics, and am also reading the OoT manga. i rly love manga too actually, inuyasha was the first one i read that got me into it
86: do you like concept albums? which ones?- BECAUSE THE INTERNET, CHILDISH GAMBINO
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?- i've seen a ton of movies dude. i think spirited away or kiki's delivery service, or princess mononoke. ghibli movies w strong female leads. howl's moving castle too but it does focus more on romance. i should reread the book
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?- i'm not familiar enough w art to tell you! i think art is rly interesting though, and don't particularly care for modern art
89: are you close to your parents?- not rly, but am more so as an adult. i don't tell them my business or anything like that though
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.- seattle just really resonates w me and the more i talk about it the stupider it sounds. but i have been to quite a few cities, DC, atlanta, Tallahassee, miami, san diego, vegas, the list goes on. none of them made me feel the way seattle does. maybe bc i went alone? maybe the time period that i went? some of the memories attached to the city kind of suck now, lol, but still rly important to me
91: where do you plan on traveling this year?- nowhere in particular this year, but i'm def going back to seattle next year guaranteed, maybe doing paradiso
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?- if its my own sauce then no cheese at all, otherwise olive garden def hates me
93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?- i just wash it and wear it down
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?- today is felisha's bday apparently
95: what are your plans for this weekend?- uh idk, ig see my gf. i'm avoiding a baby shower but idk what we'll do instead
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?- i procrastinate on them a ton lmfao "remind me later" yeah bitch in like a century
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?- INTP, gemini, ravenclaw
98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?- i don't think i ever have gone hiking
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.- i'm sure there are a few but nothing i can think of off the top of my head. reflection by 5h actually lol
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?- FIVE YEARS INTO THE PAST and five years ago is a rly good time to go back to!!! i was 20 and going through suchhhhh a bad break up but i wish i could have gotten up and been a bad bitch sooner lol i love the stuff i experienced that year, went to my first edc and whatnot. 2013 was rough on me but i pushed through it! 2014 i made some bad choices that i would change, 2015 wan alright but i can do it better and i'm not even sure what 2016 was. i would have started teaching sooner had i known it was something i could do i think. i would have worked harder and been more responsible especially financially, though tbh i did pretty well. i'd just do adulthood a lot better and start off a lot stronger. I WOULD REDO THAT LOCKHEED INTERVIEW AND ROCK THE SHIT OUT OF IT.
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riverofmemoriesft · 8 years ago
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. Obsessive Impulsive . 17
Full Summary: “‘I’ve been trying to find you alone for weeks, but you’ve been avoiding me.’  He clicked his tongue, as if scolding her.  'I tried approaching, but you always had someone with you to give me nasty words and looks.  They turned you against me, Miss Levy.’"
Pairings: Gajeel x Levy
Warnings: I strode for a darker fic again.  This is not for sensitive readers.  Violence, stalking, etc.  
Author’s Note: This is a very, very twisted gift for Bubbles, who has not been allowed to so much as read a single chapter.  This will update every other day.
"No, no, not quite," Levy murmured as she turned the page and started anew. "That'll lessen the explosion, but I need to erase it...he sure has a thing for explosions…"
Levy felt like she'd been at this for ages, scribbling away. She found herself worried when she realized there was only one bottle of ink - limiting her. She lickekd her lips and worked furiously, trying her damn hardest to get what she needed.
A gentle tap on the glass jolted her out of her thoughts. She swore as her quill skidded, and then looked up warily. She blinked when she saw a face peering in, brown eyes warm with relief, and nearly sobbed with it as she threw herself at the bars. "Lucy!"
"Levy!" Lucy smiled faintly, her voice muffled. "Are you okay?"
"No, my shoulder's infected and I'm trapped in some psycho's cabin in the woods," she said with a hint of sarcasm. "But other than that...yeah. I'm okay. Are you?" Her throat felt thick. "And Natsu? And Gajeel? Are they okay?"
Lucy's gaze softened. "As okay as they can be. Gajeel had a shattered arm, but Wendy fixed it up and he came after you. He tracked you here and is currently hiding out watching in the trees. He's waiting for an opportunity."
Levy nodded. She saw the exhaustion in Lucy's face, even through the glass. "Natsu-"
"Alive. He's alive, which makes you my priority right now," she said, cutting Levy off. "I came to help with the written spells-"
"I'm trying to rewrite this one." Levy touched the glass. "It'll set off a series of explosions if it breaks, but...if it does, I can fit through the bars." She gripped them, biting her lip. "Lucy-"
Lucy's eyes snapped wide and she suddenly cried out in alarm. A second later, Levy found herself on her back, yanked there by her hair. She gasped, the breath driven her. Elroy sneered, furious above her and Levy realized grimly that he hadn't ever left. Written magic was powerful; she knew that better than anyone. It could accomplish a lot.
Even create an illusion.
Cursing herself as Lucy's muffled voice was heard shouting Gajeel's name, Levy tried to scramble away but found herself being dragged from the room by her ankle. She screeched, kicking, but he merely bared his teeth at her. "You're going to make this worse, Miss Levy," he gritted out.
Levy ignored him, reaching for the door frame. She missed it by the tips of her fingers and then shouted in pain when he threw her leg down. She flinched and then shot to tuck her legs beneath her, spitting mad. "You-"
"Ah, ah, ah," he sighed, clicking his tongue. "Language, Miss Levy. Bad language is never attractive."
"Good. Fuck off," she snarled.
His lips quirked up into a sad smile. "I thought it was suspicious, your reaction earlier. You shouldn't have so easily given in. I know you better than that - I know everything about you." He crouched in front of her, running a finger down her jawline. She tried to bite him.
He snatched his hand back and scowled. "Now, now, behave yourself, Miss Levy. I'll give you one more chance. I know your supposed boyfriend and Miss Lucy are here, and I know you think you want to go to them, but you have to push past what they make you think. Think for yourself."
"I am," she shrieked. "Don't you get it? Nothing you do is going to change that! I have been thinking for myself since the beginning! I'm not some puppet controlled by other people!" His eyes flashed with anger. She jerked her chin up proudly. "I grew up in Fairy Tail," she sneered, "and we accept people from all walks of life. Gajeel crucified me once, and he's there now. Lucy was a wealthy heiress who hated her previous life, and she's now a member of our guild. I was an orphan who had nothing before Fairy Tail. But in no way would you have ever made it into my guild, Elroy.
"You say," she seethed, "that you know what's best for me, that Gajeel's not good for me." She leaned forward, getting in his face. "But you want to know the truth? It's you. You are the reason I haven't slept in months. You. Not Gajeel. You're the person who has ruined my life. The only thing that deserves someone like you is the ground where you're buried."
He was quiet for a long moment, studying her expression. "I see they've broken you past no return," he said suddenly, voice saddening with a mournful tone.
"Oh, my god," Levy wailed. "I'm not broken, you're just a freaking idiot!"
He turned away and the second he did, Levy was on her feet, bolting.
"Shit," Gajeel swore as he careened around the corner of the cabin, seeking the way in as Lucy went the other way. Lily had returned and clung to his shoulder, nails digging in. Gajeel didn't bother to tell him to let go, hearing muffled voices as Levy shouted at Elroy about something or another.
"Gajeel," Lily hissed, "hurry!"
"I'm workin' on it!" he shouted and then nearly crashed into Lucy. She staggered, caught herself, and then looked up at him with horror.
"I can't find a way in," she breathed.
Gajeel wanted to storm his way in, but knew better as he glared at the spells scratched into the wood. His gaze traveled up - and then stared. "Lily, check the roof. Are there any spells up there? Any on the ceiling from what ya saw, Bunny Girl?"
Lily soared into the sky as Lucy shook her head. "None!" he reported, relief in his voice.
"Lil'," Gajeel grunted, taking a few steps back, eyes calculating distance. "Stay with Bunny Girl. Salamander'll be pissed if she's hurt." Lily came back and settled into Lucy's arms with reluctance.
Growling under his breath in an ancient language, Gajeel took a few more steps back and then threw himself forward, leaping. His fingers caught the roof and and he hoisted himself up without hesitation, pacing the roof as soon as he had. He found several weak spots. Finally, he decided on one - and jumped.
Levy didn't know what she'd been thinking. She couldn't have gotten anywhere.
Elroy tackled her with a snarl of rage and Levy screamed bloody murder as he wrestled her to the floor, knelt over her. He furrowed his brow, a pair of scissors held tightly in one hand, pried open so that the sharp edge dug into his skin. Blood welled and dripped, but she ignored it.
"Miss Levy," he said with gentle seriousness. "You're too far gone to realize the good I'm doing-"
Her face went white.
"-and I'm sure you'll realize in the next life. This is so that Gajeel Redfox can't corrupt you any further. I know it might hurt, but you'll be free soon." He plunged the scissors down and Levy sobbed, tears spilling as she yanked her face aside. Something sharp skimmed her cheek, scraping bone. Pain exploded throughout her face, but she ignored it as he lifted them again, trying once more.
Desperate, she caught his wrist in her hands. She thrashed, trying to take them from him as there was a loud crash above their heads. Several more came, followed by splintering wood.
Gajeel.
The scissors skimmed the wooden floor as he tried to bury them in her eye again. Levy felt her shoulder burning. Her muscles shook as she fought to take them from him, his other hand finally grabbing her hair to hold her head in place. Levy gave a screamed sob as he shook her off.
The scissors gleamed wickedly in the dim light of the cabin as he murmured a gentle apology.
A thought raced through her head as something thundered overhead. "Wait!" she gasped, "Wait! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're right. You're right. Elroy, you were right. I'm thinking, and...and Gajeel did...he did trick me."
He faltered. "You...you agree?"
She gave him a serious nod, trying to quell her fear. "Yes! Yes."
Elroy blinked his large green eyes and then looked relieved. "Oh, thank goodness. You're awake. I've been trying to break you free for so long, Miss Levy."
Mouth dry, Levy didn't bother to fight when he gently pressed his lips to hers. Fighting the urge to retch in disgust, Levy forced herself to kiss him back. Forced herself to let him think he'd won as Gajeel tried to storm his way through the roof above, releasing a roar that sent iron shredding through wood and slammed into the floor around them. He made a happy sound even as she wanted to scream.
With gentle fingers, Levy tugged the scissors from his hand, shifting her grip on them while he was distracted. Gajeel snarled above them, sounding incredibly dragon-like as he fought to tear his way through the wood. Levy hoped he couldn't see her.
Levy pulled back, tightening her grip so hard that the sharp sides dug furiously into her palm. Elroy beamed.
Levy smirked, voice shaking as she told him, "As if I'd say that. Gajeel is worth more than you ever will be."
Shock fluttered over Elroy's face-
And Levy drove the scissors into the man's throat.
He choked, hand flying up, but Levy screamed and drove them in further, trying to kick him off of her in the process as blood flooded over her hand and arm from the wound. She flinched as drops spattered into her mouth and spat them out with a retch as after a few moments of gurgling and struggling, Elroy slumped to the ground.
Shaking, Levy dropped her hand from the scissors and sobbed. Tears rolled down her cheeks in an endless torrent. She pressed her uninjured hand over her mouth even as Gajeel gave a triumphant roar and crashed through the ceiling.
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junker-town · 7 years ago
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Trash Or Nawl: The 10 trash albums of the year
Welcome to Trash Or Nawl, a weekly column to help you weed through the Internet Muck. To do that, I’ll be breaking it down to a helpful binary: Is something trash? Or nawl? Topics here will involve sports and whatever else the hell I say is sports or sports adjacent. I’ll do my best to make sense of what's going on each week, but the thing to remember is no matter what I say, most of these things are still trash.
You might say this is simplistic, and hell yeah it is. This is how I make sense of the chaos. Professional grade hating restores power to my powerless stupid fan hands. I give a middle finger because I've given up clapping.
Trash or Nawl criteria: We will pick a topic. We will breakdown why or why it isn't trash. You can agree, you can comment or tweet your disagreements. Or we can fight. Really, it's up to you.
Good morning, hopefully y’all are hungover too. Today on a special edition of Trash Or Nawl, I’m finna discuss why y’all decided to make and praise these garbage ass albums. A lot of the blogs kept saying these tapes were fire, so we found out. Please enjoy this rare moment of where I put my Diddy hat and matching fur on.
“The inability to tell the difference between good pop and trash pop is the sign of a music philistine.” — My editor, Nate Scott.
With that in mind, I’m bout to fry tf outta all of the music Nate likes. [Editor’s Note: I don’t even like two-thirds of these albums and I’m not sure why I’m allowing this article to run, but whatever. Happy Holidays everyone.]
Lorde — Melodrama
I’m so muhfuckin tired of you internet people tellin me that Lorde, who basically only makes music that belongs on FIFA video game soundtracks, is making good music. This is some bullshit. Last night, I thought I was bangin out some whiskeys and was ready to party and tried out this wannabe Avatar background music. Woke up in a daze, night ruined.
And don’t you give me that “you a hating ass asshole I love Lorde” bullshit. I was gettin busy when “Royals” came out just like you were. And then whatever the hell “Green Light” is came on and ruined it. Lorde gon’ stop whisper singin’ on these tracks.
[Editor’s Note: This is one of the albums on this list that is objectively Good, and you need to understand that Tyler is just doing this to get a rise out of me and you.]
Also idk who told Lorde that this pop art album cover was litty, because this some diet Pablo Picasso ass shit. Ain’t fuckin wit it.
Haim — Something To Tell You
What the actual fuck is this? Most of these artists also just sound the same: like some weird version of whatever ‘80s movies made for white people were. Like, this easily coulda been the opening music for Pretty Woman. “Want You Back” doesn’t even make sense to me. Do you have a fear of forgiveness? Are you too proud? Are you blaming yourself?
We gotta stop telling our kids in grade school they can do anything they set their minds to because then we get shit like this. Seriously tho. I’m tired of the re-incarnation of Hall & Oates making pop music. I listened to “Founded It in Silence” five times by accident before I realized it was playing and not just my heater making noise.
Feist — Pleasure
Before “Pleasure” finally came on, I thought I got an album that didn’t have any music on it. Then when the song started and I spent the next minute not knowing what was actually said. The guitar was dope tho. Can’t hate on that. That fuckin guitar was dope as hell. But if I actually hear the word “pleasure” anymore in the way I have on this album that makes me think I’m in a Brooklyn dive bar with some round glasses ass hipsters wit they stupid turtle faces, I’m finna fight someone.
This album makes me feel like I’ve taken a lot of acid. I’ve never even had acid. Someone send me acid so I can know how I’m supposed to feel for listening to this album. [Editor’s Note: Please do not do this.] But, still. Can’t lie. This guitar is real real dope. Especially on “I Wish I Didn’t Miss You” but that ain’t gonna cut it, fam.
Charly Bliss — Guppy
I can fucks with a lil bit of some good rock music. But this fake ass Paramount [Editor’s Note: I think he meant Paramore but it’s a lot funnier as Paramount so I’m leaving it] sounding ass band wasn’t poppin. The drums was litty tho. New Indie Rock loves to do this thing where it remakes music that was born in the 80s but also the 90s now too. I felt like this coulda been played in Bring It On when Kirsten Dunst was hype because some bro made her a mixtape with his I’m Really Doing Something In Life struggle stubble. Also: Go Clovers.
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Guppy wasn’t as bad as Lorde and Haim and Feist, but I just felt like someone was crying to me for 30 minutes. It also isn’t Future, Kendrick, SZA, John Legend, Migos, Badu or anything resembling it. Shit. This ain’t eem Plain White T’s “Hey There Delilah” level litty. [Editor’s Note: (Long, sustained sigh)] This ain’t making me pick up a guitar. Yeen head noddin to this. I can’t keep lettin y’all whine on a track and say you waxin poetic. I fuckin refuse. Empire wouldn’t even play this on they show.
Jason Isbell — The Nashville Sound
This is purely here because in a world where we’ve decided we ain’t fuckin with blatant white supremacy and nationalism (lol, this won’t last), I am triggered by a song titled “The Last Of My Kind.” Also, Isbell getting mad because folks laughed at him in college as a justification for this song is highkey highkey highkey the same reason people comment on Breitbart.
Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for Country Music Hall Of Fame & Museum
He also made a song called “White Man’s World,” which, lol, y’all never really need to keep asking why folks don’t listen to country if this what y’all keep giving us. #WokeSZN #Resist #DumpTrump
[Editor’s Note: All the sportswriters of the world who are obsessed with this dude, please know that I had nothing to do with this section. Jason Isbell is great. Jason Isbell is the best. The Beatles? Beethoven? Fuck em. There is no one better than Jason Isbell, except maybe Bruce Springsteen, who I think you all also love for whatever reason. Please, for the love of god, don’t yell at me on Twitter.]
Margo Price — All American Made
A lot of you On The Internet Money Makin Whites love Margo Price. So because of that (and because OG Willie Nelson was making an appearance) I turned this on expecting non-pretentious and pompous ass country bangers I am accustomed to. Y’all told me this. Y’all told me she was the shit.
Welp.
Somebody call Deputy Raylan Givens and whip up that good wild west bullshit because Margo sound like the soundtrack to Justified. Margo dropped some bars that say “a little pain never hurt anyone” which is a whole lie because I promise you I was reeling from this weak shit.
OG Willie was dope tho. Don’t worry about that.
Taylor Swift — Reputation
Y’all knew this was gone be here.
First of all: IF CARDI B WASHED YO MIDDLE OF PENNSYLVANIA ASS ON THE CHARTS THEN YOU SHOULDA KNOWN WE FINNA GET THAT ASS UP OUTTA HERE BOI.
**re-adjusts collar**
I’m sad Future had to be dragged onto this album, but I know he owe Rocko a few Brinks trucks so I understand. I don’t know what Taylor keeps doing with these albums, tho. She’s always gonna get a few body rolls from me just because Future was featured here on some childish ass beats. But, y’all can’t expect me to think it’s pawpin for Tay Tay in the year of our lord 2017.
Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images
The New York Times, however, wants you to know this was super hot fire. Smh.
Katy Perry — Witness
Listen dog. I used to get it EXTREMELY LIT at high school mixers to some Katy Perry. Ain’t nobody gonna ever tell me Katy Perry wasn’t the white T-Pain at one point in my life. Left Shark is the hero this world needed at a time we didn’t know it. But the song “Swish Swish” which includes a line saying “Swish Swish Bish” featuring Nicki Minaj is one of the worst things created in a year full of some of the worst things ever.
The thing I didn’t expect: Nicki Minaj was actually the second-best thing about as much of this album as I was able to tolerate. Quavo yelling “KATY PERRY,” harmonizing with her in autotune, rapping many random “ayes,” yelling his own name, and randomly saying “Bon Appetit” on “Bon Appetit” is the best thing. [Editor’s Note: This is actually correct.] I need you to notice, the good things here have nothing to do with the person who made the music. If Space Jam and an elevator had a child and it grew to become a singer, it would make this album.
Macklemore — Gemini
Skylar Grey SANG her ass owf on this tape for “Glorious.” But Macklemore following up her vocals with “I’m feelin glorious, the crib lookin Victorian, you know we been goin in, since we hopped out that Dolorean, I’m gone, things are just things, they don’t make you who you are, can’t pack up a UHaul and take it wit you when you gone, we posted on the porch my family glasses to the stars, my grandma smiling down on me like OUU THAT BOY GOT BARS” is the most sickening thing I’ve ever had to take part in.
I don’t know if I’m more mad that another Macklemore album came out or the people who keep letting Macklemore let another Macklemore album come out. The sad part is: Macklemore actually gets some really fire ass beats. But we keep getting some fake ass Eminem verses because nobody gonna tell Macklemore either 1) he can’t rap that well or 2) he can’t rap that well about happy go lucky shit all the time.
Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images
Mack also steps on Kesha’s angelic vocals on “Good Old Days,” Yachty’s assumed piano playing in “Marmalade,” and Offset’s ad-libs on “Willy Wonka,” which is just unconscionable. Also every single song on this tape except “Ten Million” had a feature. He reverse J. Cole’d himself. What world are we living in.
DJ Khaled & Friends — Grateful
I’m mad at Khaled for several reasons:
I followed him on Snapchat in anticipation to this album
His bit is lowkey tiresome at this point
Asahd is the most handsome baby in the world, which brings envy from my being
The album has 23 songs and is an hour-and-a-half long
The album was no where near any other Khaled bangers out
Khaled hyped this shit up for no good damn reason
That being said, this Khaled tape is probably the best worst tape of the year. “Shining” with Beyonce and her lil’friend is a fun song, and Qween has never made bad music. You’re welcome, Shea Moisture Twitter. “Wild Thoughts” still got me thinking about Havana fwiw even tho Bryson Tiller is the corniest dude alive next to Big Sean. “I’m The One” had me trine buy Bieber Merch and loudly singing said song at many functions. “I Love You So Much” was some cute Disney shit. “On Everything” had me jumpin on people’s couches.
But literally the other 80 percent of the tape is hot ass garbage. Which is super disappointing because a dude with the most Jordans in the world, prettiest baby alive, 18 mansions, superstar friends, and a call log that would envy the Lord hisself should be able to do marginally better than this.
Most times I think Khaled’s music is only good as an audio soporific. Sometimes that’s okay. Not this time. I’ve been deceived. To make up for this: Khaled plz send me some sneakers, Bellaire Rose and Jordan sweatsuits and all will be forgotten. [Editor’s Note: Khaled, don’t do thi... Actually, you know what? Khaled, do this. And throw in a sweatsuit for me.]
We’re good, Khaled. Because at the end of the day: You still better than Lorde.
If you disagree with these verdicts, comment below. As stated earlier, you can agree, comment, tweet through your frustration or fight. Really, it’s up to you.
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