#someone help me make a ship name for these two homos

[nealssuperfasthealingband-aids]

Here to have my monthly blades and magic crashout.

Did anyone else get ex-homoerotic/situationship friendship vibes from max and neal or was that just me. Like there is no way they didn't have a teeny tiny crush on eachtoher when they were younger, maybe unrequited specifically with neal liking max but max being to oblivious to notice.

[the-firebird69]

What's the matter general grievous and you singe you don't know what your future is you don't have one it's because of what you're doing here it's because your daily rant and torture of myself running around like lovesick little homos behind me having to time me all the time you have to say something you have absolutely no strength and no resistance she's going to die and your body Trump is found in the muck in Greece when you die your brains taken out and your guts know it's not you your body was fried it's a skeleton and your brain and your organs were taken out and your skull from your skeleton as far as I know I'm not really sure what happens to the rest of you

Zues Hera

One of your cadre is mukman and it's not cheese man he's burned by Biden because he took over the office of president and wouldn't let him back in as a smart little s*** so he was burning anyways and he just let him go and her son says he becomes Freddy Krueger he does that beforehand actually goes into a burner in the building and someone pulled them out and if I was revenge and everyone wants to kill him so he ends up going to Brian's area Tunisia and it gets killed in battle in Italy and burned fully

Bja has a similar story he is in a battle as Vader and it is the Vader with the injury you see even though Jason has a similar wound it's not the same and he is losing power and can't breathe BG pack some up and take some of the surface and can't stand him and had to get rid of him it is right to do so he got so many infants to own people killed because he thought his race could take over all the other races and it's gross when people think that so he couldn't believe what he was seeing so he left and someone brought him back and they have this big drawn out battle and there's a movie in India about it and all over the place are fighting each other and finally bja is in a battle in the west of South America and yes coming up pretty quick and he leaves and leaves a hologram and he goes to Skellig Island and he meets Ray there which is BG wife and he's screwing around with her and of course BG was in a ship and the guys an idiot he was telling a laser the biggest ship is nearby and he hit him with him later and he vanished and picked Ray up I'll tell you what these two are housing and wife and she shouldn't be screwing around with her son and she knows it but keeps doing it and it's trying to get information or something no she wants to have a giant kid to help them and a lot of people do he simply doesn't want to do that he'd be in trouble and make it sick and more but this is what happens he dies fully and there's other things that happened like that because of the husband wife's name because BG hit bja, Jenna goes crazy and tries going after BG many times you can see it in blade runner people are trying to kill him all the time and at one point she almost had him and he got out and there are several movies and finally he is in Star wars and he's planting devices and the whole place explodes and it was not the starkiller it was a base that was not off planet but it looks it and it was with the walkers that it was like this town area and this Asian man was in a fight there it's kind of an obscure death but that's what happens to him a lot of people know about it including him and he thinks it might be someone else or he survives it somehow and somehow they do because it's like a fireball but we looked at the explosion and don't think so it's not necessarily what happens then we'll have to see but you guys are getting creamed and really it's your attitude towards our son and your demeanor and what you say daily you are assholes and pigs and stupid this guy next door Trump will not shut up the things he gets stuff and he's getting hit all the time and cleared up to taking all the stuff everybody is taking the stuff using it and soon he'll be out of the apartment we have estimates as early as Monday some people think so and our son and daughter say when he uses the keys he's going to be out and that's coming up but probably a week or a week and a half and we think so but that's probably accurate and Max has probably and we want him out of there to stop doing his job even though he's not asking him to he doesn't want you doing this things you don't have to really is a pain

And coming up shortly there will be a few things happening here that are going to change what's going on they don't want him riding in the bus with these maniacs driving or on it and going to introduce an actual bus system and it's crazy you can't get anywhere they're all poor they suck so damn bad and they're so stupid it's a hospital analogy it's starting now to try and eliminate the service and just limit it to hospitals and private buses that go to their facility and in the process they're going to bump heads with the hospitals and people their nature and it's going on and there's a ton of them and all these mooches and they've been doing it for years to everybody and they're getting nailed today

-other things that are happening and a greatness there are a few things our son and daughter did yesterday. It's our beer company and it's huge it's getting bigger and bigger and pretty soon it's going to be gigantic it is probably the largest company that you've ever noticed in history for beer that we were creating it's going to snowball and it's going to be so big that people will choke on it it is successful and we mean it gigantic it's so big we're going to have to give him an award and we have to get him stuff it's just massive beer is not really healthy to drink but ours is more healthy than other beers and sometimes I was drink beer they shouldn't and people think that we will if they get it out there and it's all sorts of things like that but mostly these guys drink beer that's what the award is for and he knows it huge huge numbers of people. And today is a bad day for these guys they're going to go down and Hera is feeling a little and she feels a little sad but better and it's going to be a great day but boy this company is huge more shortly he's got to get ready for the bus and there are just a huge number of people asking about this beverage company this beer company huge it's a giant giant giant business is where forming and we have so many inquiries from distributors all over the world where is this wonderful beer that you guys are making everyone wants to have the winners beer and they want to advertise and it finally took hold I'm probably with these big huge bases and we have a branding system and we have all sorts of advertising gimmicks and things but we're looking for beer girls of any race and we have criteria it's not very strict but we do require people to be relatively on time and if you're not going to if you just give us a text or call that would be terrific there's a very large number of people who are inquiring. And we want people to know that we want to have sales and marketing promotional companies talk to us we want to be at the football games the soccer games the baseball games and we want to go a little bit too we want to try and get in there somehow and they want to do that and they want to sit there and racing dirt bikes motocross Baja NASCAR Indy motorcycles you name it we'd like to be doing it leaving airplanes but they don't like to drink too much I don't promote too much alcohol there but concerts promotional people who work concerts we're going to use those services there's some advantages to it and he just thought of it and she did it's because they know the people they have an angle and it's not really straightforward but it works so we're going to go ahead and do that but please we already have but it's going to be gigantic we already have orders in we're going to meet with them and we're going to show them the orders and who's ordering it and what companies and father and mother say well we should probably tell them we have orders but not from who and he says oh yeah but wow you should see how much stuff they're ordering it's just a massive massive number and they wouldn't know which beer company is from which brewery area but it's a lot of beer it is a lot of beer even the West they want to trade for enormous amounts of it the sun says he could drive a beer truck once if the sales slow down cuz he's old enough or if you want to break into this area and we got to think about that it's something to do to break into here and he can drive almost all the beer trucks there's one that he can to see a semi the rest of them even the tandem ones you don't have to have that particular license and he's good at driving and I tell you there are a lot of people interested in having them do it now so I'm going to put it out there now

Thor Freya

It's huge I'm getting calls myself all morning and I have to call out and tell her people to contact these people and they are and it's real I can see it I can see them doing it it is amazing this is going to be Giant and it's really Thor and Freya cuz your idea would not be that big. It's going to take off and those companies will probably make a deal for us to take over and you're saying you'd have him stay on because they'll make their own beer and when you increase sales in one beer all the others tend to increase a little too because it's true we can help do that and we just use the regular process because people don't trust the new one that's what we found out so it's going to be a huge huge day today is getting bigger and bigger every day and it's not even Friday the 13th he says but this is going to be fun and I can help promote it and talk to promotional companies and you have a lot of crazy ideas and I like that I mean it's it's nice to have creativity and you want to have hats and shirts and jackets and all the stuff that everybody else does koozies and all sorts of things for the pool out here so we need to talk to a company and said make the stuff and promote it for pools and water events and you want to put it like together a package and somehow you want me and you to be involved it doesn't get done with that either but I got to try and somehow do it and come up with a cigarette boat will race for our company we can't win like everything and it's going to be fast and can't bring in the best design but I know what you're saying you want to come up with stuff like that like racing teams and start at the bottom it's a it's a beer company and it's cheap beer it's like and like this real cheap one back east it's not Pabst Blue ribbon but it's similar but it was really cheap and it was not really good and they started out doing that stuff too and they didn't do that bad but their beer sucks so they didn't get far I can't remember the name of it he knows what it is it's not slits but it's similar and it's Blue ribbon or something I mean it was pretty awful people from westboro? And BG says that he thinks he knows what it is and it didn't make it but it wasn't it was cheap but this is like that but the beer is good and it's better for you it tastes better it has more alcohol and it has more caloric value so you feel better when you're drinking it and you also hydrate a little but the alcohol will fix that after a few but still because of what's in it if you drink a Gatorade or even Gatorade zero you would hydrate after four beers and have to blow your nose and everything so I'm going to concentrate on this because this is going to be a huge and he wants to have all sorts of funky stuff come out and companies companies and other and all sorts of gear and stuff we can use promotional stuff for our stuff and it's pretty good his ideas aren't bad so I'm going to go ahead and do that and get it going and he says also the biggest and way to do things is distributors and they don't want us poking around if they want to do business which is a surprise usually big distributors won't get involved unless they're very serious we found out from experience so I have to like talk to them and they want to go to all their stores and bars but there's people that can go to like smaller bars and pubs all over the place and try and sell it there it would promote it and distributors would probably start selling the area if they're not that's true too I think they pretty much cover it so we can talk to them first because a lot less work I got to get on this right now and they do sell to the grocery stores and they say it

Hera

And we hear him and it's exciting because he's got it right on here's the bus

[alltingfinns]

The Empty Hearse part II

This is when they started the running gag of “at least he remembers that Lestrade’s first name begins with a G”. Before this I just figured he learned Lestrade had a first name and that would be that.

Honestly I’m pretty bad with names too.

Ahh, the hug he didn’t get from John.

Who is awake at night.

Sherlock’s lucky mrs Hudson didn’t bonk him on the head with the sauce pan.

Yet another ridiculous theory. (Once again dependent on no Moriarty corpse.)

The giggling. The crummy photo print stapled on a terrible dummy. Amazing!

And the very not canon ship that “is just as plausible” as the sherlolly kiss.

Also the slash fan is the one objecting to the hat. (Hat = public image based on misconception. Introduced in the same episode as Irene Adler, who is buried in public misconceptions.) Because she does take it seriously. So while she gets it wrong, she’s still closer to the truth than Anderson.

Mary reading John’s blog like:

Seriously, she’s reading John’s (heterosexual flat matey) description of Sherlock like she’s devouring a harlequin novel.

“Don’t read that!” Someone feeling exposed?

I understand John’s annoyance with her. She’s complaining about “six months of bristly kisses” but until last night he had no idea she disliked it. So she’s the one making it about Sherlock.

She’s very pointedly needling him about Sherlock. It all looks very innocent and cute and almost supportive, until you put it in the larger context.

John has good reason to be mad at Sherlock and want to keep his distance. He has a lot to process and she should be supporting him in that or at least not poke an open wound. Yet she seems to be taking Sherlock’s side, seemingly trying to push for reconciliation when John is vulnerable.

We later learn that she is a masterclass manipulator. This ties back into the failed proposal scene when she rearranged his carefully prepared words. She is needling him about his relationship to Sherlock, explicitly comparing it to their relationship. Basically she’s feeding John’s paranoia about how obvious his devotion to Sherlock is, which activates his “no homo” reflex. “Or I’ll marry you.”

This all builds on the metaphorical facial hair of the episode; John becoming more determined to marry her now because if he doesn’t, everyone will know.

He still shaves it off though.

I love this scene with Mycroft. It is so fucking meta!!

But also I just automatically laugh when the “intellectual master strategist chess game” is revealed be operation!

“Oh bugger!” “Oopsie!”

This series is where these two are their most siblingy.

“Can’t handle a broken heart, how very telling”

Oh Sherlock

You don’t even know

But you will

You will

“I’m the smart one” is such a sibling thing. It took me forever to realize that my older brother wasn’t smarter than me, he was just better than me at some things. I didn’t realize how much better I was than him at math for one thing, so finding that out helped a lot.

Sherlock is like a new convert that wants to spread the message of the joys of friendship.

Mrs Hudson. If there’s anything that can make me doubt, it’s the passing of Una Stubbs. It’s just hard to imagine even one more episode without her.

Sherlock is just passing the time. Basically he’s bored without John. And maybe he’s hoping that Mary will “talk him around”

Making deductions without even meaning to is a family trait it seems. (Not genetically, more like enforced habits.)

“I’ve written a blog on the varying tensile strengths of different natural fibers”

Mrs Hudson may be sarcastic, but as a mechanical engineer who knits, I do have a crying need for this blog.

And now the final point Sherlock was building up.

“Why would anyone mind?”

Also the callback to “how would you know” cements it even further that, at least up until including ASiB, Sherlock’s not had sex. He’s basically turning the words around, which only makes sense if they made a direct hit in the first place.

Look I just need older queer virgin representation. It’s important to me. (And by older, I literally mean anyone past their twenties, which isn’t even old. It’s just treated as too old when it comes too sex and lack of experience in it.)

That cheeky wink to mrs Hudson.

“Undescended testicles.” So balls that haven’t dropped?

I kind of love this trope of two conversations = one dialogue through smash cut.

And now Molly becomes the unquestionably definitive John mirror: literally taking his place.

Solve crimes = date. So very much a mirror.

Also note how Molly, who we learn is engaged, eagerly jumps at the chance of dating Sherlock. A reminder that this is what John would do if certain pesky things like internalized biphobia and society weren’t in the way.

“You’re not being John, you’re being yourself.” She may be a John mirror, but she’s a) her own character and b) not actually John.

People call this version of Sherlock Holmes an unrelenting asshole. But personally I love his refreshing honesty. He’s not interested in the money he could be paid for dragging out the case with the rich husband who embezzled himself to have an affair. Recommending a divorce lawyer for the wife in the same breath he deduced the scumbag.

John just watching the clock tick. Even after Mary’s needling that morning, he’s still counting the seconds until he can go see Sherlock.

Also I feel this next scene corrects one big problem I had with the original version of A Case of Identity: by having Sherlock make the confrontation in front of the victim.

Say what the fuck ever you will about BBC Sherlock, at least they gave this woman the closure that Doyle never gave her.

Also the wrath in his glance to Molly. Sherlock will not suffer assholes that manipulate their stepdaughters. (Could have used more horsewhip, but the victim getting closure is far more important.)

Interesting choice to turn the titles into porn parodies.

Also John just immediately assuming it’s Sherlock.

Why are you thinking that Sherlock would pose as a patient to peddle porn to you, John? Why is that your immediate conclusion?

John? Why does an old man showing you his porn collection make you think that your old heterosexual flat mate is pranking you? John?

I love how overly obviously staged it is.

Yes, Sherlock, you clearly need to analyze this fully clothed skeleton sitting upright by a desk to determine it’s a hoax.

John’s voice in his head.

“How I did it” by Jack the Ripper.

Classic! Everyone loves putting Sherlock Holmes up to solving the most famous unsolved case in London’s history. But this highlights why it always falls flat, the case is still unsolved and attempts to come up with a solution to it will inevitably feel wrong somehow.

Of course the idea of Jack writing an OJ style tell all book, hiding it in a secret compartment in the desk and then just die…

Again, Anderson, the one with the incredibly out there theory/sherlolly fanfic. Just saying.

“You forgot to put your collar up” highlighting that Sherlock does it for John’s sake.

“Why indeed, John.”

Molly getting some really mixed signals here.

Hmm. In Sherlock’s mind being different doesn’t rule out friendships, but romance seem fantastical. How very telling.

“Nothing on any map.” Except later you’re going to be like, oh yeah, no there’s one place.

That’s some damn good resolution on the surveillance.

Instruction to the editor: Go nuts on this sequence. Pretend you’re making a fan made music video.

John oscillating on the pavement.

Also, society stepping in to prevent him from seeing Sherlock/getting the date Molly was angling for.

“Fancy some chips?” Oh god. TLD feels. I can’t.

Did he fuck the chippy guy? It’s one thing to say something that could be innuendo, but it’s the little smile when he says it. Again, I personally prefer him being a virgin. Not because I feel he should be “saved” for John, but because media actually exploring virginity in relation to queerness is interesting to me. But I will not deny reality as it is presented to me.

Plus I’m not sure Sherlock should be trusted with a power drill.

Sherlock does care for Molly.

“Not all the men you fall for can turn out be sociopaths.” “Maybe it’s just my type.”

John mirror.

Also. Foreshadowing.

Remember to check your bonfire stacks for hedgehogs before lighting them up.

Mary sees it’s a skip code. Could probably solve it herself. But she takes it to Sherlock. Because it’s her job. (Also, pretty sure Magnussen confirmed that it wasn’t him at a time when he had no reason to lie about it.) This is something else, this is what she was employed for. Maybe. Honestly, I’m still working out her motivation, because I don’t think her potential employer would care for some of her later choices.

Dropping the chips = saving John is what Sherlock will save his own life for.

Get yourself someone who will step out in traffic to hijack a motorbike for you.

I love how Sherlock thinks in vectors.

Always listen to little kids when they say cryptic shit. That’s when it matters.

This scene illustrates the difference between Sherlock and Mary.

To quote: “Should I ever marry, Watson, I should hope to inspire my wife with some feeling which would prevent her from being walked off by a housekeeper when my corpse was lying within a few yards of her.”

Basically, the trained assassin/fiancee is standing off to the side while the supposed “sociopath” is diving into the fire to dig out John.

Stay tuned for part III after I handle my Duolingo.

[waxscoralpants]

fav Temeraire moments (human edition)

I am wide awake despite having gone to bed and also Karm has now read enough of the books that I can talk about it without spoilers for the most part so here we go

I mean, it’s the most iconic moment right. All that angst at the beginning about having a dragon is resolved and Laurence says “my dear, I would rather have you than any ship in the navy” and we all clutched our hearts and died

I would pay money to read Laurence and Jane’s first meeting from Jane’s perspective. I can only imagine Jane see’s his adorable genteel blustering and thinks about all sorts of ways to make him embarrassed. Legendary FWBs

Laurence meets Tharkay’s high school sweetheart who he is too poor to marry :( but then they go on a secret nighttime mission!

Heartfelt Tharkay/Laurence conversation number one. I just want to know you’re okay, bro, just tell me when you’re running off so I don’t worry, love you bro

Tharkay does tell Laurence he’s leaving and Laurence is like okay :( I will miss you and then later Tharkay comes back with TWENTY DRAGONS and is like uh.... just thought they might help. Like, what, doesn’t he have anything else to do

Catherine tells The Boys that she is with child. Laurence looks around the room and wonders which of their fellow captains she fell into bed with. Ah well. Propriety dictates we will never know. I must suffer this mystery in silence. “Well that sucks, Catherine, whom the fuck’s is it?” immediately pipes in someone else

Same conversation someone eludes to Jane and Laurence’s antics and comments that Jane must be taking precautions. The purpose of several bizarre rituals of Jane’s suddenly becomes clear to Laurence who AGAIN was just too polite to ever ask

Laurence thinks about what he wants in life. And really, being in the Navy did rather suit him. He likes the adventure of serving in the military but also the idea of having a settled home to come back to. And, despite everything, he really does enjoy high society. And Jane is great and brave and interesting and fantastic and Jane, won’t you marry me? Jane laughs and says, well no, my dear, but thank you for asking. Laurence immediately goes and commits treason. 

Tharkay meets Laurence’s high school sweetheart who he is too criminal to marry :( but then they go on a secret nighttime mission!

Tharkay, bemused that Laurence doesn’t understand why Edith’s husband is acting all weird is like, “it’s because you’re the coolest man ever. We’re all either jealous or pining how do you not know this”

Heartfelt Tharkay/Laurence conversation number ? Tharkay: Bro, you don’t have to do terrible things just because nobody respects you anymore. Laurence: :’(

Having assumed none of his friends will ever want to speak with him again, Laurence consoles himself that if Tharkay is willing to sail on the same ship with me for months, he must not absolutely hate me completely and ignores all the ways Tharkay continues to purposefully maneuver himself into Laurence’s life

IDK if this one stood out to anyone else, maybe I was just oblivious, but on said ship it cuts to a scene where the two of them are playing cards and Laurence refers to Tharkay by his first name and I nearly spit out what I was eating because I knew they were friends but not like, friends friends

Tharkay asks Laurence if maybe he wouldn’t be happier being a pirate. It is not clear to Laurence that maybe just maybe Tharkay would join him? Maybe? if it was on offer. No homo

Hammond (I love Hammond) is running from a scary monster and falls to the ground. He hears a deep powerful voice sternly tell the monster to fuck off and looks up. We, the reader, experience the book equivalent of a shot that pans up a character to dramatically reveal their sexy yet intimidating self. Practical boots, worn faded clothing, rough beard, kind blue eyes, tanned skin, calloused hands, a rifle, and a big hat. Hammond takes a moment to realize wait, this is William Laurence. I take a moment to realize wait, William Laurence is hot??????

GRANBY IS GAY, Y’ALL (If you reread the books now, you will catch many moments of Granby and Little walking into scenes together, other characters mentioning they saw them together a moment ago, or passing each other food. I love them)

After months of not remembering anything from the past ten-ish years, Laurence happens across Tharkay and is like “Oh wait, yeah this guy is awesome how could I forget him” and remembers everything

Can’t say anything from the last book! Because Karm hasn’t read it but oof there are some moments. Also I’m leaving out entire amazing characters and all the dragons but there’s just so much! good stuff! in there! 

[sapphicambitions]

Okay so I finished watching black sails a few days ago and I’ve spent the last few days reading other metas and posts and interviews about Flint & Silver to gather my thoughts (thots, if you will) and these are the conclusions I have come to:

John Silver and James Flint have the most interesting and well written dynamic ives ever seen between two characters. I am endlessly fascinated by their relationship. Because it’s so unique and complex and I can’t think of any other relationship between two men on screen that even gets close to being on their level, that level of intimacy and their DIALOGUE????? especially in season four????? there is no daylight between us???? i have made myself transparent to you????? you already know me in all the ways that’s relevant???? fuck me up dude!!!!!

All of that being said, I don’t like… ship them. At least not in the conventional way of shipping. I don’t see them as boyfriends or husbands or even as romantically involved. Like I said I LOVE their dynamic and I am fascinated with the complexities of it, and I really and truly think that they loved each other deeply, but to me the idea of them being like in an explicit, canon relationship sort of... cheapens it?

Especially if we’re talking about seasons 1-3 flint & silver. To me, saying that they were romantically involved during that time period sort of misses the point of their build up. Because they didn’t even really like each other then. They were necessary evils in each other’s stories. ESPECIALLY in seasons 1 & 2, they weren’t friends! They were work place acquaintances who needed each other to survive. And remember Silver’s whole season three arc of “I think flint controls the weather”???? Lmaooo the idea that they were romantically involved at that time, to me, almost does a disservice to their characters and the journey that they took to get to where they were in the fourth season.

Because I don’t think that they truly started to even be friends until that night around the fire. When Silver asked in who’s name they were fighting the war and Flint told the truth about his past. When Flint made himself transparent and vulnerable to Silver, and they openly discussed their partnership. When they came to a mutual understanding of each other, when they felt the possibility of the future together, that is when they really and truly emotionally connected and became more than work place acquaintances, became even more than just casual friends.

But I still don’t think that they were like, together together in season four.

Do I think there were extremely high levels of homoeroticism? also-fucking-lutely. But I don’t think they were romantically involved. For many reasons.

I think that the last two episodes of the series do not work if they did not love each other. The last two episodes are not effective if there is not something deeper there, if there isn’t something to lose when they fall apart. Like when Billy and Silver fall apart? I was like aww they were friends. :( and that’s it. When Silver and Flint fell apart? I sobbed my fucking eyes out. Would I have been as destroyed by Silver’s betrayal if I didn’t truly believe that these two men had a deep and profound relationship, that they needed each other and completed each other? Lmao no! No I wouldn’t have. If Flint didn’t love Silver, he wouldn’t have taught him sword fighting, he wouldn’t have shot Dooley, he wouldn’t have looked so deeply crushed when Silver raised the gun. Because the look on his face? When that happens? That is heartbreak, pure and simple.

BUT. I ALSO think that the last two episodes of the series do not work if that love is explicit and defined. I do not think it works if Silver is fully aware of that love. Because I don’t think he is. I think he has found himself closer and closer to Flint, committing himself to Flint, becoming the other half of Flint, and….. doesn’t quite realize how homoerotic it is lmao. Because he has Madi! And Silver has never really had someone to be close to before, so I honestly don’t believe that Silver was aware how how Homo(TM) the whole thing was with Flint, at least not consciously, at least not out loud. And I say this because there is a very important moment in the finale that doesn’t work if their relationship is defined and official or romantic in any way.

It’s when Flint says “This will all have been for nothing. We will have been for nothing. Defined by their histories. Distorted to fit into their narrative. Until all that is left of us are the monsters in the stories they tell their children,” That is his last card to play. That, to me, is the THESIS of the series, that moment is what they have been building up to for four seasons, that is Flint’s driving force as a person. And Silver says: “I don’t care,”

That moment is reliant on Silver not understanding the queer implications behind what Flint said. That moment is reliant on Silver being a man who has never experienced the life ruining homophobia that Flint has experienced. That moment is reliant on Silver genuinely not caring, it is reliant on the complete disconnect from Flint in that moment, and if the two of them had been in a defined relationship at the moment, I wouldn’t have bought it. And it is heartbreaking and tragic because Silver DOESN’T get it. He doesn’t! He does not know what it means to fear how the world will see you for who you fundamentally are, fear how mothers will tell their children about you, fear how your story will be told, and I do not buy that moment if Silver is aware of his own queerness. Maybe other characters in other stories, I might, but Silver, self serving and self saving Silver, to not care? He has to genuinely NOT care.

I’ve mentioned before in other posts that watching Silver and Flint’s story play out is a lot like watching Romeo and Juliet, that you know that their story will end in tragedy, but you watch it unfold anyway. But there’s another reason I think they parallel the star crossed lovers. And I think the moral of Romeo & Juliet (it’s my favorite play step up and fight me) is not that the young lovers were stupid and reckless, but the moral is that they might have lived if not for the outside forces trying to drive them apart. Romeo and Juliet is about how the toxic and warring world in which they lived wasn’t sustainable for their love, that they were driven to their deaths by parents who didn’t realize the harm they were inflicting upon their children.

I digress but the POINT being that it is outside forces that drove the two of them apart. (Get Wreked, Billy) The toxic and warring world in which they lived wasn’t sustainable for their partnership. You can see it best in 4x09 when the flashbacks of the two of them alone on the beach are funny and tender and vulnerable and open between the two of them, and present day where Silver’s trying to get Flint a little bit KILLED and you can see how much things have changed between them since that day on the beach.

How might have things changed in another direction if they hadn’t been driven apart? Because like I said earlier, Silver and Flint’s relationship was a JOURNEY, it didn’t happen overnight. And I can’t help but feel like they were only at the beginning of their relationship when they fell apart and that is another tragedy, the what if? of it all. How might their relationship have changed and gotten even deeper if they hadn’t been pushed apart? What hadn’t been explored between them, what was still left unsaid when Silver raised his gun at Flint? So that’s ANOTHER reason I don’t think they were like ~together~ because there is tragedy is losing something you don’t have, that you might have had. Losing something that you don’t know what it could have become and that breaks my heart because it feels like they had only JUST begun and then they were ending in the most heartbreaking and tragic way.

Also to be honest, the main reason that I love Them is because I’m a slut for tragedy, and knowing that something is going to have a sad ending but rooting for them anyway. Romeo and Juliet, the Hunchback of Notre Dame musical, Hadestown, the Song of Achilles, They Both Die at The End, even rewatching Brokeback Mountain, you get it. Tell me that they aren’t going to make it in the end and then let me watch them fall in love anyway. Let me watch them grow to love each other knowing that they’re going to end in tragedy. I should be sobbing on the floor by the end of it, I WANT to be sobbing on the floor by the end of it. That’s my shit. It is literally my favorite type of story. fuck me UP

So those are my Thots (TM) about Flint & Silver. They have one of the most well written relationships I’ve ever seen on screen and I am endlessly fascinated by them. I don’t like romantically ship them because I think it’s too complicated to reduce their relationship to “they’re dating“ when it is their journey from reluctant work place acquaintances to “It’s hard to know where one began and the other ended” that is so incredible. But I do think there is a deep and profound love between them and the finale doesn’t WORK unless they love each other, but it also has to be somewhat unspoken for it to work, too.  Because I don’t think Silver was aware of his own queerness and I think he has to actively not understand the queerness of Flint’s fight in order to do what he does otherwise I wouldn’t buy it. And I think that they were only at the beginning of their partnership, and I wonder where it could have gone if they hadn’t been ripped apart. Theirs is a tragedy of losing someone you love and losing something that isn’t easily defined, losing something that could have been. And their tragedy does not work if they didn’t have something to lose.

[nightswithkookmin]

I am a hard Taekook shipper but recently Jikook have been melting my heart by being so cute and cudly and loving. I understand and i am sorry for so mhch hate from Taekookers but trust me Taekookers are a bit shaken right now. I cannot disclose my name here but i would like to say if Jikook is real or they decide to come out which i higly doubt then i am 100% in support and also ur page helped me open my eyes and see a diff sude of shipping which is needed alot more. I am Loving Love ryt now.

C'est la vie!

So sorry for the late response love. You've always been on my mind.

I get not every Taekooker is wild and rabid just as not every Joker is sane and fake woke. Lol.

I mean I'm still holding on to my grudge against your people for storming my business pages and leaving shit reviews on my books- and laughing about it? What was that? Damn. Had to change my author name and everything and I've since been publishing under an alias- let me tell you, it's no fun at all.

In retrospect, I shouldn't have called y'all's ship dead- but honestly it dead, it dried up like a drop of sweat on a dessert. What can I say? People just don't want the truth, lol- had these angry thirteen year olds and fake woke Jokers coming for my ass and my business ass on the flamingo app. Chilee. Your people don't want to be civil. Sigh.

Some people just have no sense of personal responsibility and when they get called out for it they slap you with the whole, 'no one asked you to put yourself and your business out there' - this creepy behavior and mental adroitness is not far from rapists blaming girls for wearing short shorts and mini skirts or thieves blaming people for not putting up a fence and shit to protect their property. It's fucked up.

And don't get me started on what they do to Jimin or JK... or even Tae- not to make you feel bad or anything. It's just my people suck, your people suck, we all suck square- don't apologize for it unless you plan on doing something to change it?

As for Taekook, yea I don't think there is anything wrong with shipping them. They have a beautiful bond, they are both visuals and both funny as hell. If you won't ship them I will. Lol.

Just know the reason you are shipping them? If you are shipping them because you genuinely believe they are a couple too then you need to stop shipping them and start supporting them?

And once you start supporting them then I think you'd sooner realize there isn't anything there to support in the first place. Lol.

I support Jikook because I believe with my full chest they are real and are closeted- emphasis on closeted. And for the record, they are the only queer couples in BTS.

Tae lost his queer card when he accidentally outed Jimin on that radio show. 'I think he likes men' yea, straight up het behavior. Lack of homo sensitivity.

Did you see JK's reaction when JM was asked to spill tea on their pervy behaviors behind cams? My butt quivered. Chilee, I thought he was gone out JK too. Damn.

I think the word real and closeted have come loose and cheap on these streets these days. I don't think most of these shippers when they throw it around fully understand the term or realise what it means and what it takes. If they did, they wouldn't randomly be labeling every ship as 'real' within the fandom.

If you believe Taekook is real and that they are equally hiding their sexuality as well as their relationship within the group, then you should understand how severe and traumatizing this fact is and would be for them as gay men?

The thing is, they are not just hiding parts of themselves and their identity for the sake of their careers or military or whatever if they are real, they are lying to millions, millions of people at a time about who they really are by keeping their identity a secret. Secrets are lies honey, however way we want to see it.

If they are real then they are concealing their true identity away from not just their families and friends- if they haven't come out to them, but acquaintances from work, businesses who wouldn't work with them otherwise, brands, sponsors, Heads of states, their fans....

It's one thing for a heterosexual to keep their heterosexual relationship a secret, it's another for a queer person to keep their queerness and or queer relationship a secret.

A lie as heavy as this is bound to take a toll on them, no matter how good they are at hiding it. A secret gets heavy before it gets easy. Not to sell you on anything but do you see any such secret taking a toll on Taekook? Because I see it taking a toll on Jikook.

Do you believe Taekook are closeted? Because I believe Jikook are.

Being closeted means they have to carry the guilt of knowing that each time they pander to heteronormative roles in variety shows or interviews, or imply by omissions that they are straight, or make generalizing statements about their sexuality to avoid addressing their sexuality directly or give it away, that they are lying to people and spewing half truths- seven years in a roll.

Being closeted is not a joke. It's heavy. I think you need to grasp this before you claim it for anyone.

People like to throw the 'closeted' phrase around willy nilly but fail to comprehend its weight and complexity and consequences especially for people that they believe are actually queer.

It's not easy lying to people about who you are. Unless you are a pathological liar and a psychopath, it's like drowning each day you wake up. You die a little each time. Your sexuality is a huge part of your identity and when you deny it for so long by lying and suppressing it, it's like shutting out a peice of yourself and silencing your own voice. The more you push it aside the louder it screams and the harder it fights to come out.

It's a state of constant internal struggle. You wake up everyday contemplating whether to risk the perfect life you've spent years building just so you can turn off the guilt that comes with keeping a secret of this nature.

And each time you get better at omitting or generalizing and evading questions that hint at your truth, the more you hate yourself and the more guilt you feel. This guilt can become a driving force that pushes you to make risky moves and take impulsive actions such as 'borderline outing your relationship'- does that sound like Taekook to you?

If you are not driven by the love you feel for your partner, you are driven by the guilt and neither is a great place to be if you are queer.

You lie everyday, you get caught up in the lies and soon you start believing in the web of lies you've woven around yourself such that you don't even recognize who you are or why you are, anymore. As such, you are constantly searching for yourself, to reconcile the bits you've hidden away and perhaps forgotten, and you keep exploring your identity because you are unsettled- honey, that sounds more like Jikook than Taekook to me but c'est la vie.

Being closeted is not about moments that get cut by editors, or less interactions, or being seperated or seated further apart from eachother. These are just ship street parlance. Being closeted is an attitudinal, internal attribute rather than external manipulations or influences- it's a science. Lol

Coming out may be risky for any of these boys if they are real, but I promise you hiding is much harder for them.

And so When I look at Taekook, and I see how beautiful they are yet I don't in God's honest truth see them 'dealing' with any or all of these struggles Jikook deal with or have dealt with at one point, in my opinion- forget the homophobia, the wanting to come out, the low key microaggressions they deal with even within the group- 'the Jk never stops crying,' 'the real men don't do this and that talk' talk, the toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia traits JK and Jimin used to exhibit in their early days talking about 'real men don't twerk,' 'real men don't wear rings on their pinky'- all the times Jimin have had to defend his masculinity or even femininity, or stand up for Kook's within the group. 'Men, men, men. What is men?'

Jikook are the only two within the group that in my opinion have struggled most with their identity, with embracing aspects of themselves; you hear them complain about 'living a lie' 'tired of hiding, lying' and all these are themes consistent with closet behavior that they've both explored in one way or the other and even as of 2020 they are still dealing with or 'exploring' their identities perhaps as a means to reconcile their true selves? I'm really struggling with this post because I don't wanna get salesy on your ass. Lol.

Don't get me wrong, Tae struggles and deals with issues too- mostly with loneliness, lowkey depression in my opinion, lowkey bullying- sometimes, lol and he often expresses a desire to find someone and be happy and yet 'his supporters' don't recognize that...

You can wait till Jikook come out officially as queer, if they ever chose to, to support them- Or you can choose to support them and love them now because that's what they need in order to officially come out as and when they choose to? Ok I'm being salesy. Lmho. I'll stop. Don't mind me. But think about it.

Ship whatever ship you want but support Jikook. It's all I'm asking. And by support, I mean don't exhibit any anti homosexual attitude towards them- deadass. You and I gone fight, square up toe to toe, if you do. Lol.

People don't need to be afraid of Jikook. They just need to treat them as human beings and not reduce them to a mere ship. They are a ship too yes, but they are more than that if you ask me.

You sound nice. I love you. I'm glad you enjoy my posts. Merry Christmas and cheers to our ships.

Keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Signed,

GOLDY

[alittlefrenchtree]

Why is now the worst time for them to come out

Oh man, is today really the day I’m going to open that Pandora Box? 😅 😅 😅  I guess it is.

So here goes nothing. My brain is fried at this point so hopefully at least 50% of my sentences are making some sense. Sorry for the other half. I’m obviously not trying to shade or police anyone in the fandom. I speak for myself only, the way I feel, the way I see things and what works for me. I’m not necessarily right, I’m probably mostly wrong, but that’s my take on it.

I apologize in advance because your ask is about ten words long and my answer is going to be 10K long but, at this point, everyone knows I like a lot of context for an answer so we’re here together for a while.

First thing first, a little reminder of what I mostly think about the ship.

Right now, and it has been the case for quite a while now, the way I handle myself in that particular part of the fandom is to follow the boys��� lead, the very official lead and clear manifestations of their relationship and nothing more. I feel more and more uncomfortable with anything related to clues (even if they’re obvious) or theories (even when they’re so many proofs, it’s 99% verified) is because for me, there is no way doing that is doing them any good.

To try to simplify, here is mostly how I see the situation :

If they’re not together, it’s pushing a narrative that obviously make both of their lives more complicated and I don’t want that.

If they are together, or want to be, or has been or will be together at some point, I don’t see how watching and more importantly publicly highlighting their every move is helping them in any way. You don’t need anyone’s support for your own couple (even if it makes things easier when you have your close ones’ support) and certainly not the support of thousands of strangers. What you need is people to leave you alone and the less people are watching your relationship, the better is it.

That’s why it’s probably going to be one of the only time I allow myself to tackle this far into theories and reserve myself the right to not answer to other asks publicly. (And since I’m exhausted right now and will be pretty busy tomorrow, I probably won’t answer to anything at all. Or not before a couple of days, at least.)

To emphasize this point even more, less forget we’re talking about you know who here. The who doesn’t matter as much as the actual points I’ll try to make. In that purpose, lets say we’re talking about two guys named Brian and Justin 🤓

Brian is this guy who grew up with a very complicated relationship with his parents, try to escape his family heavy legacy at a very young age, marry someone at a young age and stayed married all through his adult life to this point. Now, he’s out of this relationship and he’s starting a therapy. In my opinion, the last thing Brian needs right now is to throw himself into a relationship, not if he wants the relationship to work in a healthy way on a long term scale .  Of course there are exception and life isn’t a rule book but, if I base my opinion on what I’ve seen of the world in my very short life, what Brian mostly needs right now is to focus on himself, to try to understand and accept who he is as an adult, and the unconditional love and support from friends he can trust. If he still trying to start or to live any kind of ‘couple’ relationship, the worst move, especially at this point, would be to point a spotlight on it.

Justin, on the other hand, is focusing on himself in a very different way (and in both way, I mean that in a very positive way, I strongly encourage everybody to start to focus on themselves). He’s planning to take over and rule the cinema industry, the whole world and maybe a few other galaxies if he manages to squeeze them into his schedule. It’s a very challenging goal for anyone’s mental health and very difficult to adjust as a single person - let alone with another person with their own struggles and trauma. That agenda of taking over the world (like any other agenda ever), whatever anyone wants to believe or makes believe, is (and still will be for a very long time if not forever) more easily made when you’re straight or when you said you’re straight. And this isn’t me saying Justin is or isn’t straight (mostly because labels mean next to nothing to me) but me saying that ‘being’ straight is a) the only way to preserve yourself from the homo/lgbtq+phobia that exists everywhere (and that 1) cuts you from many roles and 2) shifts the way the roles you manage to get is being perceived by an audience,) and b) prevent the whole world from turning you into some kind of spokesperson and shifts the way from your work or how your work is seen. I see this point kind of a same way as, when a woman accomplishes something and all the attention and the questions are often more about being a woman than the thing she did. It’s frustrating as hell, and I completely understand that someone could want to protect themselves from being that person, or from being pushed as some kind of role model. Not everyone wants or can be that front/first line person in the battlefield.

Another Brian once told something very important, which is ‘it’s not a lie if they make you lie’. At this state of the world, of the industry, and of Justin’s career, there is no ‘pros’ at being something else than straight and way too many cons, especially for him (i’m talking here in a business point of view only, you’re all beautiful butterflies ❤️). That what ‘they make you lie’ means. If he is something else than straight, there’ll be a time in his career (when he won’t be on a rise journey that goes at 1000 miles per hour, when his audience will be older, when his place will be more secure, etc. etc.) when it’ll be easier for him to say so — if he ever wants to say so. Or when he’ll prioritize something else — if he ever wants to prioritize something else. 

And either way is ok.

[three--rings]

WOH ep 26 and 27 Reaction

I like a minute in and I have to scream.

Okay, WAIT.  So WKX has that dream he described, then wakes up and says why does ZZS’s Dream Drug make me have that dream, and it shows the incense.  So..this is the drug that ZZS is using to help him sleep, right?  There’s not really a reason for WKX to use it.  So why is he dosed by it?  CAUSE HE’S SLEEPING IN HIS BED THAT’S WHY.

Okay.  Let me have this.

ZZS says “Aren’t you my servant?” to WKX with the smuggest expression and all I can think of is @pumpkinpaix‘s brilliant d/s fic.  Seriously I still say they are very much in a honeymoon place RN.  Let me enjoy it while I can I know pain is coming.

Don’t you want to talk and drink he says.  That’s code...and of course he’s fucking leaving.  Sigh.  I’m going immediately into ep 27

Okay, so I’m riveted by the confrontation between YBY and ZZS but also now I’m have all these emotions.  He says he’s just protecting his shidi and he failed to do that before and now I’m having shidi feelings dammit.  Ah!  Even the no-homo cover story is moving!

😭😭😭😭😭😭 I just can’t.  Like it’s a relief, I guess, having that over with, but they are just!  So!  I am incoherent.

Okay, so, let’s talk about Zhao Jing and Mr. Scorpy.  (I know his name is Xie, but thanks to the subs never calling him anything but “Scorpion” that’s pretty much it.)   I’m glad we’re all simping for him.  Like this show just can’t give us one or two sympathetic villains.  No we get the actual bad guy(ish) becoming super sympathetic.  Please please let him be the one who kills Zhao.  Like he’s not an idiot.  I really appreciate that he can see through the manipulations while they are happening.  He may not be sure, he may not be decided, but he can spot when Zhao is ready to turn on him, as soon as he isn’t convenient. 

Seriously, we need someone to scoop him up and rehabilitate him.  Unfortunately we’re running light on in-canon candidates.  I want to ship him with someone, dammit. 

Oh and finally, like WKX really doesn’t know what the rest of the ghosts were up to.  He has No Idea?  DUDE were you THAT distracted by ZZS?  Don’t answer that.  I really thought he was masterminding and at least realized after the fact...sigh, ZZS really is the big brain one here, huh?

God I’m spoiled and I HATE all the foreshadowing here.

Oh and if you’re wondering post the confrontation with YBY they have not YET returned to sleeping together because they still haven’t fully healed/recovered from the emotional turmoil.  

[teacup-baphomet]

G/t Drabble (Crash landed on a hostile planet trope but NOT via the a tiny vulnerable human in a planet of mean powerful alien bigs route)

tw: a bit of censored cursing. Uh. I’m not sure what else. Maybe broaching of sensitive tops such as sexuality and religion. But not really. Mostly it’s just rlly dumb word play/lame humor and a confused alien being confused (and kinda freaked/troubled due to the confusion? you’ll see if you read it i guess). there is some sad lorg boi times. idk. no romantic relationships. just a shaky friendship is forming between a crash-landed big-arse alien (a human! *gasp*  i woulda never guessed something as vile as that o: ) and one of the much smaller, very much not human locals. most want to kill the poor dude who got stuck on this planet of hostile lil guys who think he’s a monster and immediately decide they much off him asap. so like having this one ally is kinda important to him. But it’s hard. because. lots reasons rlly. culture differences. the language tech can only do so much. the size diff creates definite issues because trust is hard in general. and trusting a big being that could easily cause havoc on your planet mostly just cuz he /seems/ nice is not a very good foundation... there is much to learn between the two before they can be truly good frens. so uh good luck to them lol *raises glass* I mean. I don’t think I’ll ever write these two again. but I’m sure they’ll end up good friends. probably.

Anyway without further adieu, here have a disappointment (read: attempt to be creative but i’m kinda lazy tbh and still kinda bitter I can’t draw for more than like 10 minutes before I start spacing out :/ )

"We are called humans or the scientific name is homo sapiens" spoke the large alien, Lyle.

"Homo sapiens? That is rather long, is it not? Why is a "scientific name" even a thing? Why would that be necessary? Scientific name versus what kinda name? Emotional name? Why are these science names two words? Seems annoying. What is wrong with just calling yourselves simply homos? Or something else just as nice and concise. Straight to the point if you will. Probably. I... Uh.. I obviously don't know what exactly is the purpose of a scientific name as i already implied... Sooo..." The much shorter – and much scalier- native being (called Torrynts) awkwardly looked off the side to stare at the plain, blank, siding of their dilapidated, isolated house as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire vicinity. Which it wasn’t of course. There was a f***ing alien 15 times their size only a few them-sized lengths way…

 Lyle gave his new comrade – and only friend on this gawdforsaken planet that mostly wants him dead- th pondering, and possibly ironically, rather colourfully scaled Torrynt by the name of Kyvlar a bemused look, bordering on coy.

"Huh. 'Straight' to the point you say?" He paused with a small snort. "Well, my not-so-statuesque friend, do I got news for you~"

Kyvlar suddenly blanched, giving a Lyle a look that was like a knife to the heart while blurting out. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold up! We? There are more than one of you? Here? On this planet? Were you just a distraction the whole time. Oh... Oh no.... Have we really been victim a secret homo invasion this whole time! I-"

 Their panicked monologue was interrupted by a most horrendous noise. Like a slowly dying tornado with the hiccups or something.

"STOP. Stop I-I can't. I can't. This is too much much!" Spoke Lyle with his hand covering the bottom half of his  and his eyes scrunched shut.

 'Welp,' thought the Torrynt, 'This is the end. This is when I die. I should have known better than to immediately put my trust in such an enormous obviously dangerous specimen. Ho-'

 Kyvlar’s dramatic internal speech was interrupted when the alien surprised them by uncovering the his face, revealing a huge grin. ‘They weren't upset? Huh?’ The Torrynt blinked owlishly at the human in confusion.

 "Sh*t, bite-size (Kyvlar noticeably paled at the impromptu nickname not 100% the foreign joking tone, well it would have been noticeable to someone their size at least), I know you don't mean to, context-wise, but you reminded me of my great aunt Karen when my Uncle Todd and Uncle Copper decide to have their friends over along with relatives for a gatherin'."

Plastering on a faux distraught look and blatantly mocking tone, he  continue with exaggerated hand gestures. "Oh no, it's the...the...," he paused with snort, "... the homo invasion... No, no, no... Not here... not in this... this good, Christian neighborhood. Aren't just two of them enough? Oh woe is me!" The alien dropped the mocking tone and smirked towards the smaller being. "Heh. Good ol' great aunt Karen could never remember Uncle Todd was Jewish and so was the majority of that neighborhood.... It’s where my Uncle Todd was raised actually…"

 The said smaller being just stared blankly at the homo-no-human they supposed as just “homo” meant something else, they weren’t sure what else, beyond just something else.

 "Uhhm. Wh-what? U-Uhm, so what exactly is “homo” then? And what’s Christian? And Jewish too. What’s that? Are... Are those other types of -uh- intelligent, sentient creatures on your planet? Y-you know, b-beside hom-er-h-humans? Or are these subtypes of humans? What kinda are you? What is a great aunt? or Uncle? Does the great indicate a larger size? Oh gawd, a-aren't you humans b-big enough regularly? Oh... W-wait. O-or are you a great- uhm- great aunt, was it? E-er, g-great something? Ohhh. Zyntall (Torrynt swear). I'm sooo confused r-right now... " The timid tiny being, sighed in frustration before their eyes snapped open wide in a panic, and they did an immediate one-eighty with their behavior, and it was off all their previously trust, as wavering as it was, vanished in an instant, squeaking out a quick "sorry. oh, Z-zyntall... I'm so-so-sooo sorry. I-I hope I d-didn't offend y-you or anyth-thing... p-please, oh please, don't hurt me" while gazing everywhere except towards the much larger alien, hoping desperately the 'bite-size' nickname was just a bad joke...

 Clearly they not only didn't get what so hilarious about the whole thing but also thought he was a monster prone to violence – still. Lyle sighed, all the mirth that was previously in his expression draining out of him leaving him with an uncomfortable grimace on their face. How disappointing... They really wish there was another human here to share in the jesting. But alas, that was not meant to be. At least as far as they knew there was no "homo invasion" in the making. Lyle wasn’t naïve. He knew humans were easy to slip into a gray moral state, at best. The role of villains at worst. And many of his kind would likely take advantage of a planet full of tiny, vulnerable people. Lyle couldn’t help but inwardly cringe at the thought, getting nervous about something that wasn’t an issue. At least now. Currently, human-wise, it was just him on this distant planet. And as far as he knew, no one - well, no other human at least- had any clue where they were. It probably just seemed he simply disappeared. Never to be seen again most likely. Trapped on this random alien planet in scenario that is akin to some sort of a personal hell of sorts.

'Wow. Hello, major depressive episode that’s making me overly dramatic. I haven't seen you since I was - what - eighteen?' thought Lyle regretfully. Calling this planet a personal hell was probably a bit over the top. But still, he couldn’t even seem to keep the trust of his single native ally. It only adds to his feelings of lonely isolation. And he feared his lonely angst will only get worse and worse. But only time will tell.

Giving a small sigh, he mentally prepped himself to try and get back his small friend’s trust. At least he was able to laugh for a wee bit earlier. It had been so long since he had done such. It was nice. Hopefully next time it will not lead to a backtracking in his attempted friendly ships with an open local, or even worse, a hostile local. The little laser guns that native being had stung like a b*tch. It reminded him when he got bit a couple times by some fire ants during a vacation as a child.

-----------

So yeah these were rando improvised characters made on the spot.

But Lyle is a guy (he/him. He’d be chill with they/them too)

And Kyvlar is… a Torrynt. So like they/them I guess. Torrynts don’t have genders. Like at all. I guess they hermaphroditic (intersex if talking by human terms but not really as they are capable of reproduction and they aren’t human so… I dunno… Not even sure if hermaphrodite is a useful term. As idk if hermaphroditic animals, in nature, are capable of reproduction… I don’t think so? But I’m not sure tbh…). There is no variants like there are with human “sex”. And male/female concepts are 200+% foreign to these wee reptile-like aliens (albeit warm-blooded minded, so perhaps more draconian than reptilian idk. Also aliens being described as reptilian gives me hives due to a conspiracy theory that is like super bigoted actually n’ stuff. Very yikes. Don’t want to talk it about it rlly…). Their reaction would def be “wtf. That’s the weirdest sh*t ever” to such a thought as male n female binary dynamics & whatnot. No exceptions. They’d be like why a lot of you guys limiting yourself because of whether or not you are a potential offspring vessel or not. I don’t understand.

So Yeah. Uh. Anyways.

Their conversation about this prolly (or close to this):

Lyle: Hi. I’m Lyle. Just some random dude form Earth I guess.

Kyvlar: a random dude what?

Lyle: uh. I’m a dude. I guess I meant that I’m a boy though dudes don’t really have to be boys I think. But not to derail too much… Yeah. I’m a man/guy/boy/brosef, whatever you wanna call the male gender. Please not by brosef actually, heh. Anyway. Yep. A boy. That is what I am. Uh. How about you. I can just tell… you ….you have uhm two legs. Oh damn. Wait. That sounded so stupid. I wouldn’t assume your gender or anything. I just… You don’t look exactly human so..uh. UGH. Nevermind. I don’t even know where I was going with that... Heh. ANYWAY, so yeah what’s your gender is what I’m trying to say. Sorry I’m awkward as f***. I’m not used to socializing much. Been doing deep space sh** on my own for a few years now and.. uh.. yeahhhh….

Kyvlar: *stares blankly*

Lyle: Uh. Yeah. So. A Gender? Do you, uhm, have one? Or…????

Kyvlar: Uh. I think so? I mean I’m mostly a day-by-day I’ll figure it out then type but I, I really want be able to fix my home up. I want to learn to cook. Kinda suck at it now. Uhm. I guess… Uh. I should probably help you get on good terms with my people so they stop trying to kill you. You seem nice n’ stuff… so yeah. There’s that. I could use a little more purpose in my life. Not to-

Lyle: wait. Huh? What are you talking about? Are you talking about an agenda?

Kyvlar: Yes????

Lyle: *snorts* I didn’t say an agenda. I said a gender. As in A. Gen. Durr. Like are male or female or maybe something off the typical binary track??

Kyvlar: Uh. Er. Huh??? I, I’m so confused right now…

Lyle: Hooo boy. I’m so not prepared for this discussion at all.

-----------

One of these days I’m gonna have a character that’s silver-tongue and smooth af and not some bumbling awkward doofus (*cough* like I am *cough*).

[snowflake-of-destruction]

Shipping ask game:

SoRiKai

AkuRokuXi

TerAquaVen

Wow, how could I have forgotten about this one?

SoRiKai

Ship it so much

What made you ship it?

The depth of emotion between these three is one of the cores of the story, the degree to which they are entwined is shown multiple times though arguably best/most memorably captured in the small scene of Kairi recognizing Riku in KH2 and then joining Riku and Sora's hands. I would never, could never devalue their friendship but the fact that their feelings are (or at least were confused as) romantic is some of the tension right at the forefront of our very first installment with the many different ways to take the simmering jealousy seen on multiple sides. That the three of them together as a unit is their collective hearts' desire, their goal, and, sometimes, as in the end of KH3 where Riku and Kairi both were needed to bring Sora to a place where he could give them and everyone else a second chance, a necessity is, to me, apparent. I have a storm of emotion and opinion on Sorikai and sometimes forget that not every Soriku or Sokai shipper is going to share these emotions or ship Soriku, Sokai, and Rikai all about the same amount, but all you need to do is gently bring me back to earth if that happens. 

Read more placed for length

What are your favorite things about the ship?

That time and separation makes no difference. Also, the way they look at each other and say one another's names.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

That Riku and Kairi are just as close as Sora and Kairi or Sora and Riku.

AkuRokuXi

1. Why don’t you ship it?

Okay, honesty time

Probably the way that I was introduced to Xion as not even a character but as a function--to "prove" Sora and Roxas don't have feelings for Riku and Axel respectively and that Sokai is the only valid tie, and to give Roxas a female love interest. Now, obviously that is an extremely reductive and downright nonsense take on 358/2 and Xion as a character, and the type of thing I would normally not only argue against but then develop a strong spite reaction where I attach to the character/ship/story harder even with a character less developed than Xion (who actually gets more time spent building her as a character than most KH females) and a story less compelling and with a lot less going on in it than 358/2, but, as I wasn't connected with wider fandom then and thus subject to a much smaller pool of people I knew in real life that played the games, it was sometimes easy to internalize some "bad takes" that you don’t examine for awhile.

With that said, I grew to appreciate Xion a long time ago, and I adore the friendship between the three of them--and every subset, because, even though you see more of Axel and Roxas's bond or Roxas and Xion's connection, you can't tell me Axel doesn't care deeply for Xion, and that the scene of him crying without knowing why in KH3 got me.

I just still get odd feelings and have personal hang-ups about Xion and either or both of these boys romantically, though I have read some cute ones and it's something I can get past.

2.What would have made you like it?

Probably if I had encountered more diverse opinions/interpretations on Xion and her importance other than her being a narrative "no homo." Yes, yes, we think for ourselves too, most definitely, but you do, especially when you are younger, absorb something of popular opinion. It also would have helped if 358/2 already existed when I got into KH so Xion wasn't someone who "appeared out of nowhere after the fact" but an already accepted part of the series, the other great hang-up. 

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

They love each other, they would have the most fun and tease each other the worst all through their negotiation of the rules and boundaries of their relationship (you know I love banter), and they arguably have the closest to a canon vow to be polycule with their resolve to all share an apartment together.

TerAquaVen

1. Why don’t you ship it?

It is such a narrow edge, and sometimes I think I could easily ship this one a lot/do ship it, but, ultimately, I feel like Aqua looks at Ventus as a little brother, emphasis on little, in BBS. She's always the responsible friend/mom friend, but you get more of the sense that Terra is an equal still but Ventus she sees as her charge as much as Eraqus's.

2.What would have made you like it?

Just a slight tweak of a line or two in canon and I probably would have a lot more ot3 feelings alongside the found family feelings.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

They have the most heart tugging and epic scale love story of all the trios if you see them as a ship.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Under Raps

My feelings on this episode are pretty neutral. It’s not anything amazing, but it’s not the worst thing ever either. It’s just there, I guess. 

Summary: During a love festival, Corona displays a book full of signatures of lovers in honor of an old ruler's falling in love with the leader of a rival kingdom. Cassandra suddenly turns very secretive; Rapunzel learns it's because she's been seeing a guy named Andrew. Cassandra doesn't want Rapunzel's meddling, but the princess suggests a double date and they all go off in a hot air balloon. However, Andrew turns out to be part of an old faction that didn't like the unification of Corona and wants to steal the book.

This Backstory Doesn’t Add Up

So we open up with Big Nose narrating about the history of a war between Corona and a group of people called the Saporians. This is important for two reasons. First, because the Saporians are reoccurring villains in the show, and secondly, because it reveals where the underground tunnels running between Old Corona and the Island Capital come from. These tunnels are a reoccurring plot device in the show, along with the book that maps them. 

The problem is that what the story tells us doesn’t match the other information we are given. If it was only the Saporians who invaded then why does an Old Corona, with its own castle, exist to begin with? Why do the tunnels extend from both if King Herz Der Sonne made them? What purpose did they serve if he was only defending the island? Why are the Saporians led by a general and not a ruler? Why would marrying only a general unite the two kings and where was the Saporian kingdom to begin with? Why did they invade? Why are there still Saporians who haven’t accepted the merger centuries later and why do they live on the go outside the kingdom? If  Herz Der Sonne is such a good guy then why did he curse his grave with a zombie apocalypse? Ect. 

We keep getting hints throughout the show that Herz Der Sonne isn’t all he was cracked up to be, and you keep expecting a reveal that it was the Coronaians who started the war and oppressed the Saporians and then rewrote history, but it never comes. The show wants us to accept this very black and white conflict at face value even as it constantly undermines itself and muddies the waters. 

Pointing Out That Something is Stupid in the Show Itself Doesn’t Make it Any Less Stupid

As I stated back during Rapunzel’s Enemy, the show has a real problem with tone. Constantly showing us festival and holiday after festival and holiday only undermines the more serious elements in the ongoing story and creates mood whiplash. Also anything that reminds me of Cinderella 2 is not a good thing. 

Ahh Friedborg, You’re Such a Wasted Opportunity 

So she actually first appeared in Cassandra V. Eugene but I forgot to bring her up there. My bad. Friedborg is something of a fan favorite in the TTS fandom, and I like her too, but she adds nothing. She’s a joke character in a tv show already oversaturated by joke characters. More over the joke is actually offensive on some level since it all hinges on her being less conventionally attractive then the other female characters and the mains finding her weird because she never talks. 

The show tries to justify her existence by making her Big Nose’s girlfriend, but she’s not who he ended up with in the movie. And once again it’s kind of offensive to imply that only people who don’t match society’s contrived beauty standards can only find love with those that look like them. Thereby completely missing the point of Big Nose’s character arc. 

I’ll say it right now, Friedborg should have been Zan Tiri, or Demantius. Take your pick. I think ZT makes more sense, but etheir way she should have been a setup for something more important to the plot rather then just be being a vauge oddity that just pops up from time to time. 

I Miss This Version of Eugene

Throughout the first two seasons, Eugene and Cassandra were willing to point out Rapunzel’s BS. Forcing her to confront her flaws and re-examine her positions.I would argue that the show could have pushed this even further but at least it was there. By the final season no one was doing this. Rapunzel is allowed to be as awful as she wants to be without consequence. Meaning she never learns anything and stops growing as a character and the show acts like this a positive thing. It is not. In fact, it is the biggest flaw of the whole show as it fails to achieve the one thing it originally set out to do; which is to tell a coming of age story with Rapunzel. 

It also has the added effect of making Eugene a doormat to Rapunzel’s bulling, thereby regressing his character as well and presenting an unhealthy relationship as a goal to be achieved to younger viewers. I can not stress enough to young girls and young men in particular, that Rapunzel and Eugene are not ‘relationship goals’ in this show. Not after season 3. 

Xavier Doesn’t Get a Proper Introduction 

So Xavier is actually pretty important to the ongoing plot. He’s more or less the exposition fairy for the show, but he’s not really established. He just suddenly appears here with no prior meeting and he just so happens to know what the main characters need to know with no explanation as to how he knows. 

His part here is so forgettable that I legit forgot who he was when he reappeared in the mid-season finale. I had thought that the writers just threw in a random character for plot purposes. And to be fair they did. Just they did it here instead of in Queen for a Day. 

If the showrunners wanted Xavier to be historian who knows everything and tells stories, then he should have been introduced as the narrator of the history of Hearts Day instead of Big Nose. 

Another Lesson Not Learned 

We get this big heart to heart moment of Raps and Cass coming to an understanding, with Rapunzel promising not to intrude and Cass promising to being more honest about her feelings. This is walked back on several times and made part of the core conflict of the last two seasons. 

Once again, any problem that can be solved in less then five minutes of talking isn’t a strong enough conflict to drive multiple seasons. If this had been a show without an ongoing narrative, like say The Rescue Rangers or even Batman the Animated Series, then the repeated lessons wouldn’t be a problem. We expect characters to be static and to reset after each episode since they’re not shows that you watch in order. 

But if you do go the overarching arc route for a story, then people expect lasting character development. Even in shows like Gravity Falls or Steven Universe, where the change is more gradual and the characters do repeat mistakes occasionally, there’s still a marketed change by the end. One that indicates improvement by the characters, and the inter conflicts are never exactly the same each time with exactly the same lesson over and over again. 

 Oh Look, Cassandra Once Again Achieving her Goal of Validation 

Cass is awarded a medal by her father for stopping Andrew. Don’t expect her or the show to remember this. 

Also more Cass and Cap interaction that we don’t get to see. 

Can We Not Imply That Cassandra Still has a Crush on the Guy Who Lied to Her and Then Almost Killed Her, and Can We Not Act Like This is a Good Thing?

So this flower was given to Cassandra by Andrew and her keeping it makes zero sense. 

First off lets not have one of our few strong independent female characters crushing on the show’s stereotypical ‘nice guy’, okay? That’s all kinds of gross. Secondly, if the intention was to show that Cass was now more willing to open up about her feelings, then wouldn’t her keeping one of the gifts Raps made her earlier in the episode make more sense? After all, that’s the relationship that actually matters to Cassandra and is the basis of the whole show. 

But this all boils down to the fact that the creator sees Cassandra as straight, always has, and thinks her crushing on the guy who manipulated her is somehow better than ‘no-homo’. Now you can headcanon Cass as whatever you want and ship her with whomever you want, as canon doesn’t matter. But I find it hilarious that most of the head showrunner’s biggest supporters are mainly Casspunzel fans and yet he’s the one who made them ‘sisters’ and sees them as such.

Like I hate to break it to you guys, but a Cass led spin-off headed by Chris won't be the lesbian rep that you’ve always dreamed of. You’re better off just watching the She-Ra reboot. 

But things gets even worse when Rapunzel approves of this stupid ‘crush’ ...

Don’t Ever Tell Someone That You’re Proud of Them For Going On a Date

Dating is just something some people choose to do together and some people choose not to engage in that. It’s not an accomplishment and it shouldn’t be treated as such. This is insulting to both people who don’t date, for whatever reason, and to women who hate being being defined by their relationships, which is most of us. 

Even if you’re being charitable and try to make this about Cassandra self esteem and her learning she’s worth ‘loving’, which is the reason some people have offered up for this scene, it still falls apart when it’s not established that Cassandra ever had such self esteem issues to begin with and was not looking for romance anyways. And if that is what the show is going for then it’s still problematic to suggest that being found as attractive by someone else is need for self esteem. In fact, that’s kind of the opposite of what self esteem is.    

Conclusion 

Overall this episode was ‘meh’. Like most season one episodes the problems stem from the ongoing narrative and lack of follow though in later seasons. However there’s enough stuff in here on it’s own to rub me just the wrong way that I can’t actually call it good either. 

It doesn’t help that I don’t see the appeal of Andrew at all. Watching the character is just a cringefest for me. He’s too similar to real life men I’ve unfortunately met and therefore sends alarm bells ringing in my head. And I agree with Eugene; he’s not all that handsome. 

[inkatheart-fandom]

Ranty Plot #001(B)

You can find Part 1 Here.

Modern AU where Geralt, Jaskier, and Yen are in a poly relationship. But what about the other characters? Well, prepare for Lambert’s piece of Modern AU.

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship: Lambert/Aiden

Tags: Emotional Constipation, Stubborn Boys, Friends to Lovers, Lambert is a Good Friend, Happy Ending, Some Homophobic Language (Aiden is an ass).

Geralt dropped out of High School his Jr. year. He was getting mediocre grades and had no desire to do much outside of school that he wasn't already doing. He was a simple man with simple pleasures. He liked working on the ranch and loved the horses and had 0 desire for higher education. Vesemir tried to encourage him to at least finish High School but it just wasn't gonna be. 

 Eskel graduated with a 3.9 GPA. He was on the water polo team and got a full-ride scholarship. However, he instead decided to go serve in the military after High School. Joined the Marines as a Linguist. Later became a part of MARSOC. He served for 8 years before he suffered a major injury. He was going to recover, but took the honorable medical discharge so he could return home.

LAMBERT. Lambert always struggled with school. As a kid he was never enrolled in school, so he missed out on Pre k-4th grade. He also had dyslexia, so by the time he did get enrolled he was way far behind and struggled hard. 

Vesemir spent a lot of time trying to get Lambert the help he needed. Eskel helped whenever/wherever he could before he went away.

But during Lambert's Sophomore year he met Aiden who was a year ahead of him. Lambert hadn't made many friends outside of his brothers, and most other kids thought he was too loud/aggressive/mean looking. He and Aiden though, there was something there. They got to be thick as thieves lightning fast, but Lambert was the only one happy about it.

Aiden also came from a fucked up home, but unlike Lambert he didn't get some guardian angel to come rescue him. So there was quite a bit of jealousy there on Aiden's part, and he made sure to put Lambert down about it whenever he could. 

Aiden and Lambert got into a lot of trouble together though. They were quick to jump into fights, started messing with drugs and alcohol, and by Aiden's Senior year he had been in and out of Juvie several times. But no amount of trying to convince Lambert was going to break his bond with his bestie. So all Vesemir and Geralt could do was watch and step in whenever they had the opportunity.

Shortly after Aiden turned 18, he ran away from home for good. He packed a bag and showed up on Vesemir's doorstep at 3am. He told Lambert to come with him, they were going to get the hell out of their shitty little podunk town and go make some names for themselves. 

Lambert was beyond temped, and in reality he just wanted to keep his friend from getting in trouble. But he knew that he couldn't just leave behind his life and family here and he begged Aiden to stay. They could work something out with Vesemir, hell Lambert offered to drop out of school and get a job so they could split rent on an apartment together.

Aiden called Lambert a coward, mocked him for being soft for being a surrogate kid to some creepy old man. He said that he and Lambert were closer than Lambert and his 'fake family.' When none of his cajoling worked, he finally left with a few more scathing remarks.

Geralt had heard it all though, ready to step in and stop Lambert from making the biggest mistake he would ever make. Instead he was there to comfort his brother after having lost his best and only friend. 

Lambert didn't hear from Aiden again for five years. He managed to barely graduate High School, but didn't go for anything beyond that. He was good at developing his own skills though.

He joined the police academy, figuring that if he could do anything he might as well try being a force for good. Unfortunately, due to problems with his temper and morally questionable choices at times, he never made it as a full fledged officer.

It was late one night when he got a call. The voice on the other end was familiar and alien all at the same time. Aiden was drunk and in pain. He'd been arrested several towns over, caught gambling. He was looking at some serious charges that involved him having some bad gambling debts, and didn't know what to do. 

Lambert ended up driving all night to go bail Aiden out, but this man wasn't very recognizable from his old friend. Drugs and alcohol had made him a shell, and he was involved with some pretty bad people that had him in a constant state of paranoia.

Unsure of what to do, he just sat with his old friend in a hotel room and listened to him for hours.

So Lambert made a deal with Aiden. If Aiden cleaned himself up, no more drugs or alcohol, Lambert would clear all his debts. He wasn't entirely sure how, but he had some ideas. It took some effort, but Aiden agreed in the end. 

Lambert had himself made into Aiden's temporary guardian (I forget the actual term, my brain's fried) so that Aiden couldn't discharge himself.

So over the next six months, while Aiden worked on getting clean, Lambert spent every waking moment working. Between working for Vesemir on the ranch, he used his Academy training and some help from Eskel's military knowledge, and started bounty hunting. 

 He was surprisingly good at it. Started making a name for himself. He scraped together the money needed to pay off Aiden's debts and some of the rehab. So when Aiden was finally cleared to leave, he was free from his old life.

Lambert wasn't sure what he was expecting. Aiden wasn't the type of person to shower someone with praise and affection or gratitude. He swore he would pay Lambert back somehow. Lambert didn't care about being paid back, he just didn't want to see Aiden fall back into old habits.

The next several years were a lot of push and pull. He and Aiden have a lot of ups and downs, but it didn't take long for Aiden to join him in bounty hunting. And they made a hell of a team together. 

 But of course, Aiden is always going to be Aiden. The debt that he thought Lambert held over him was always there, always sitting sour on the back of his tongue. So he saved what he could until one day he gave Lambert a check for the money Aiden thought he owed and said that he doesn't owe Lambert shit anymore.

Of course, two dumb boys being two dumb boys, it ends in one hell of a fight. A lot of things are said that can't be taken back and Lambert and Aiden walk away with deep wounds.

Lambert moves in with Eskel, goes back to working on the ranch, and Aiden disappears again.

Lambert finds Aiden trying to pack his shit and leave. He begs Aiden to stay, and Aiden falls back into his old habits of verbally lashing out. He starts digging that Lambert must be some kind of homo and wants to suck Aiden's dick like a chick. That Lambert really must be fucked in the head if he's that broken. 

 But Lambert has a nerve there, and Aiden knows it by now. Not only because he does have reluctant romantic and sexual attractions to his best friend but because Aiden starts taking stabs at Lambert's family. "Geralt's one of them too, shouldn't surprise me." It's at this point that Lambert kinda snaps.

Lambert socks Aiden right across the face and lays into him. Because maybe he is a fucking homo, and he's the stupidest motherfucker in the world for being in love with such a selfish prick. He never asked or expected Aiden to return any emotions, that's not how Aiden works, but fuck it all he's happy just being friends and not thinking about it. 

 So it's actually Lambert who ends up leaving. He goes off the grid for a few days, takes his bike and just fucks off into the ether for a while. By the time he gets back it's to an empty apartment. He argues with himself over what to do with the check, because he knows what Aiden is going to do. Everything they'd worked for will be gone.

In the end he cashes it and opens an account to store the money because he knows that, one day, Aiden is gonna need it. He never considers it his money, he's just holding onto it because Aiden is a danger to himself.

Another year or two passes. He gets not a single word from Aiden in all that time. For all he knows Aiden is dead in a shallow grave somewhere and it eats at him, but there's not shit all he can do about it. 

 Then one day he gets the call he's been dreading.

Aiden's in the hospital two states over. He was found during a bust of a local gang and was in bad shape. When they got ID on him, Lambert's name was the one that came up as the emergency contact. It was hard to say what would happen because Aiden was in bad shape. 

 So of course, Lambert withdraws all the money and a chunk of his own savings. He knows he's an idiot, thanks-you-Eskel. But his brother insists on joining him because Lambert shouldn't go in alone this time. And even he knows it.

Aiden's in rough shape. He'll live but it was damn close. But what he isn't expecting is the person there when he goes to see Aiden. He calls himself Aiden's partner, and it takes a while for Lambert to realize that the guy means a hunting partner. 

 Aiden had stayed straight. Instead of falling back on drugs and gambling he'd thrown himself into bounty hunting. He and his partner had gotten caught in an attempt at the gang boss and they'd grabbed Aiden. 

 Hurt that he'd been replaced, but also relieved to know that his friend hadn't gone back to his old habits, Lambert just uses the money to do what he can for Aiden's medical bills. Eskel is there with him the whole time but stays quiet for the most part, playing emotional support. 

 They're just about to leave when Aiden's partner asks why Lambert won't even go see Aiden. He's mad because Aiden won't shut up about Lambert, and is always comparing him to Lambert, and it's infuriating. So it's Eskel who nudges Lambert to at least go talk to his friend - which is the first time that's ever happened.

He's there when Aiden wakes up. They sit in silence for a long while and finally all Lambert asks is, "You want me to stay" and Aiden just says, "Yeah." And that's enough for Lambert, because that's the closest thing the other gets to verbal affection. 

 Aiden needs time to recover, and Lambert drags him back home with him and Eskel so the other can do just that. There's no more scathing remarks about Lambert's attraction, no more anger. It's a slow process to getting Aiden back on his feet, but the man doesn't immediately bolt so there's that at least.

Lambert doesn't prod or press. Aiden stays through his recovery, he joins Lambert on a few hunts, they go to the bar together. Aiden doesn't get anything more than two beers, he'll order them both and then tell the bartender to not give him any more no matter how much he asks. Lambert is proud and unreasonably happy about this.

Eskel's apartment is only two bedrooms, and after the first week of letting Aiden have his bed, Lambert complains about sleeping on the couch. Aiden doesn't say anything about Lambert sleeping in the bed with him. They keep to their respective sides, a total no-homo situation. Just two bros bunking together.

One month turns to two, then to three. Their friendship is calmer this time around. Aiden is...relaxed. Eskel's lease runs up and he talks about getting a bigger place. Instead, Lambert and Aiden decide to try again. They get another place together, two bedrooms. They use the second bedroom as an office.

Nine months in and hey, what's an adrenaline-fueled kiss between bro's. No-homo right?

Ten months, "The water bill is too high." "We don't pay for the water here." "...shut up and get in the shower with me dumbass."

And the rest is history.

[startingtodayyouareahost]

Shipping Sentence Starters.

Send me a Host Pairing with a sentence and i’ll write a short snip bit. as requested it shall be put into categories. Undercut since it’s long. sorry mobile readers.  I WANNA STAB MY EYEBALLS! SO I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT! I STARTED THIS AROUND 9:30 IT’S NOW 11:30

Pairings

Haruhi x Host

Tamaki x Host

Kyoya x Host

Hikaru x Host (minus Kaoru)

Kaoru x Host (minus Hikaru)

Mitsukuni x Host (minus Takashi)

Takashi x Host (minus Mitsukuni)

Genre (if you see a sentence and want a different genre)

Fluff/Romance

Angst/Gore

Smut/Lemon

Family/Pregnancy

Sibling/Platonic

Fluff/ Romance Starters

“ Excuse me but could you not?”

You can’t just kiss me like that and walk away!”

“You! hoodie off! on me! now!”

“It’s a bad idea, me and you.” 

“Wow. you’re beautiful. . .” “I. . you. . . Shut up!”

“Cuddle intervention.” 

“Marry me.”

“I broken my heart so many times i stopped keeping track.”

“If you’re not going to help me then shut up.”

“Hey! feel my shirt it’s boyfriend/girlfriend material.”

“I can’t with you right now.”

“I’m glad i have the ability to say i love you. some people don’t get to say that.”

“How about smiling? You ever do that? Hmm?“

“ i like seeing you smile.”

“It’s so early, please stop.”

“Don’t be mean! I’m just trying to love you!”    

“ hush, i’m trying to kiss you.”  

“  we should get a pet.” 

“It’s hand holding season.”

“Your cheeks are so red; it’s so cute!”

“I’m not letting you forget an umbrella ever again.” “Hey! now we can kiss in the rain.” “No.”

“Hug me; I’m cold and love you.”

“Pajamas and movies sounds really nice.”

“Fuck it. you and i will get married right now and we will go live in a van. they can take everything from me but they wont take you.”

“I don’t know what i’d do without you.” “die probably”

“ i can’t believe i fell in love … like an idiot.

“Skip class today, let’s walk together in the park.”

“When I’m with you I can be myself naturally.” 

“Take my hand.”

”Don’t pull away – Just a little longer.”

Angst/Gore Starters

“ Where do you think you’re going?”

“If liars could catch on fire then you my love, would be walking in hell.”

“Get out of my face before i knock your lights out!”

“Look me in the eye when i’m talking to you!”

“If you cry they’ll hear us.”

“I thought you cared. guess i was wrong.”

“If i had known that when i married you.”

“You’re a monster.”

“You’re a prideful asshole you know that?”

“Ow. that looks painful. tell me how it feels?”

“You’re extremely stubborn for someone your age. you just refuse to die.”

“No. You lose, you die. so pray that next trigger you pull is a blank.”

“Uh, guys, I think I got shot.“

“I suppose by now you’re starting to feel something’s wrong.”

“It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault.”

“Our time is running out.”

“Can you walk?”

“Go! you can lift all this off of me so go!”

“Hurt me all you want. But if you hurt him/her i will kill you.”

“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

“I don’t know how to love you.”

“Just so we’re clear, we will never be meeting again.”

“How are you holding up?” “How does it look like I’m holding up?!”

“Grab the knife!”

“I won’t go down without a fight!” “I know.”

“Aw. your friend is dead. now it’s just you. think he died cursing your name?”

“ I asked you a question. If you know what’s good for you, you better answer me.”

“If i scream they’ll here and come running. that’s when you capture them” “That’s the plan.” “Then i better not scream.”

“W-what did you just drug me with.”

“I have a lot of viewers right now. they pick how you die.”

Family Starters

“What do you mean you’re pregnant?”

“Babe i love you. but you’re so tiny and your belly is huge!”

“Who knew you would turn soft after becoming a father/mother.”

You heard them. my daughter/son said no.”

“You’re such a pushover when it cokes to your daughter/son.”

“Excuse me? do you kiss your mother/father with that mouth!?”

“After 5 am. their your child.”

“We’re. . .  wrestling baby!”

“Grab the blanket and come sit with me while i finish up.”

“Don’t touch my daughter/son again!”

“Mommy/daddy will make it better.”

“There there little one. i got you.”

“Just because you weren't allowed to cry as a child doesn't mean your own daughter/son has to!”

“Wait! I got a flashlight! Wait!”

“Adoption huh? you’re interested in that?”

“You locked your sibling where!?”

“I never cared if you say your a boy/girl you’re still my baby either way.”

“You want another sibling. . . ask your dad/mom”

“How to you keep getting hurt?! no really is this your talent!?”

“Never, ever! Start a fight. But you better finish it”

“I can’t wait to meet you.”

“are you sure i can hold them? they wont break?”

“I’m not ready for this. i don’t know if i can do this.”

“When something goes wrong i’m here to help! That’s my job as you Mom/Dad! to bail you out when you get in over your head! I want your first thought to be to come get me not think that i’ll kill you!”

“huh? . . .yeah you can sleep with me.”

“Guess neither of us are sleeping tonight. . .huh.”

“I’m so proud of you.”

“No. I’m spending time with my family. It can wait.”

“You just took a bath! how??? when did you???? how did you find mud! it’s not even raining!”

“Well. . .um, do you guys need anything? a snack? condoms?”

Smut Starters

“ I think we should. . .  order in tonight.”

“I know how to shut you up.”

“I’m not just a pair of legs you know.”

“Tonight i’m going to pound you so hard you’re not going to walk in the morning.”

“On your knees.”

“I bought you something.”

“I want you to scream my name”

“Wait, wait, wait! You want to do it here?

“Ouch, that kind of hurts.”

“S-slow down!”

“Tell me what feels good.”

“You want me so bad don’t you.”

“Ah, that feels good…”

“I bet I’m strong enough to pick you up.”

“Touch me. I don’t care how. I just need to feel something right now…”

“Bite me.” “Where?”

“We’re in a car!” “We are in a car. ;)”

“What’s your rush?”

“A simple kiss turned into a bit more. . .”

“Just where exactly do you think you’re going to put that thing?”

“The cuffs stay on, until I say otherwise.”

“All I need is five minutes and two fingers.”

“There’s nothing good on tv tonight.” “Does that mean we can have sex then?”

“Make it rougher.”

“Isn’t the thrill of getting caught half of the fun?”

“Whoever screams the loudest loses.”  

“Can you help me take care of this boner?” “Take care of it yourself!” “Well, it’s your fault it’s there in the first place!”

“I want you to watch me when I fuck you.”   

“I got a collar with your name on it.” “You got me a what?”

“breed me.”

Misc Starters

“I think i just heard a noise downstairs. What should we do?”

“Smile for daddy”

“Where do you go late at night?”

“Why. . . are you so morbid?”

“Well i went to church.” “you went to church!?”

“You look like a hot topic reject.”

“Kids, grab your shit we’re leaving!”

“All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”  

“If I die, I’m haunting you first.” “ok. fair.”

“YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME! “

“I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “I’m going to start.” “No.”

“Don’t bite me, that’s rude.” 

“None of us will ever really know our fathers”

“What the hell are you doing on the bathroom floor at 3 in the morning?”

“you have a very different definition of fun” 

“ i’m a simple person. i see a cool rock , i pick it up.”

“Wow i wanna stab my eyes after this” 

“I’m being gay with you. Homo intended, dammit.”  

“You need a makeover. Like, yesterday.”

"You know what would make me happy...IF YOU WENT TO FUCKING SLEEP."

“Do you think you could bribe with me food, and I would forgive you that easily?” “Yes.” “…..fair enough. I accept your apology.”

“All this and heaven too.”

“Hey guys, I’m here and I’m ready to bitch.”

“I’m wearing my boots with shorts and you can kiss my ass.”

“Alright. i’m gonna cry.”

“Success is more important than human contact and love and hugs and…“ “…is that why you’re crying?”

“If you start singing i will put you on mute.”

“Blocked.” “You can’t block me in real life!”

*Host walks into music room* Everyone here is straight! *awkward silence.* *another host* “Who here is straight??”

“Alright. . . who’s gonna die first because one of you will die.”

[imagitory]

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker review [SPOILERS]

Hey, everybody! So I just got back from seeing the newest Star Wars and...whew, am I tired!

For those of you who want a spoiler-free review, I’ll just say that there’s a reason people are so split about this movie. In some ways, I could argue that TRoS is trying to be its own stand-alone thing, and it does so by shoving in way too many plot beats and new characters without enough development or even a satisfactory conclusion for them...and yet at the same time, it tries so hard to evoke the original trilogy like The Force Awakens did, whether through iconography, cameos, or other kinds of fanservice. To put it very simply, if you disliked The Last Jedi, you might come out enjoying this more, since this movie and its director clearly shared your view, but even if The Last Jedi is a flawed film, I feel it still ended up having better direction, character arcs, and storytelling than this film did.

For those of you who don’t fear spoilers...journey on.

The Good!

+Just like in the other installments in this new trilogy, there were some great action moments. I liked when Kylo and Rey were fighting over the First Order ship with the Force, pulling it back and forth like they had previously done with Anakin’s lightsaber. Poe’s lightspace jumping in the Millennium Falcon was a cool trick, and I actually really enjoyed the short suspenseful bit with Poe, Finn, Rey, and the droids sneaking around in the wintry planet Kijimi, too.

+The trick at the end where Rey passed Kylo Anakin’s lightsaber through the Force and the two battled side-by-side while in different locations was neat. I might’ve liked to see that trick used differently (see below), but it was still really cool.

+Poe and Finn were acting like SUCH boyfriends during this entire movie. I don’t care how much “NO HOMO” J.J. tried to slap on these guys in the script (and I’ll discuss that in a minute), these two were friggin’ boyfriends and that was canon, end of story.

+I liked that Leia was able to mentor Rey, and Leia’s death was appropriately sad. It felt like I was mourning Carrie all over again, especially since we’re so close to the anniversary of her death.

+It was kind of cool to see Luke’s old X-Wing again. I might’ve had it reappear in a different way, but it was still cool.

+Rey hearing all of the Jedi in her head for the first time when she was facing Palpatine at the end was great. I might’ve pushed it further and made it more visually interesting, but I’ll get to that in the more negative section.

+For all of the rather unnecessary fanservice, there were a few music cues that really worked -- namely, the Imperial March echo when Rey arrived in the old throne room on the Death Star, Leia’s theme upon her death, and the Jedi theme when Poe saw the fleet of reinforcements arriving.

The Not-So-Good...

+The Reylo-ness of it all. *dodges knives* OKAY. LISTEN --

If you’re a Reylo shipper, then good for you. I mean that sincerely. But I’m sorry, I am convinced that this ending could only have been satisfying to you if you were on the Reylo ship from the very start due to your own personal shipping preferences, because there is NOTHING in the films that justifies the powerful emotional bond that these two supposedly share. Rey and Kylo only met two movies ago, and in both movies, Kylo showed no interest in improving himself and being a better person. None. I don’t care if Rey “sensed” goodness in him -- that is a terrible, weak short-cut for a writer to use, to tell us that Kylo is good without showing it to us. We still see him slaughter people en masse in the very first scene of this movie. We still see him trying to force Rey to join him, even if it puts the people she cares about in danger. We still see him hooking up with Palpatine -- FRIGGIN’ PALPATINE -- after he’d only just rid himself of Snoke. I don’t care if Kylo thinks he can get rid of Palpatine like he did with Snoke -- I don’t care if he’s conflicted and worried about Rey -- we the audience see no evidence that Kylo has truly changed his ways and is worth saving. Leia SACRIFICED HER LIFE to try to help him -- for what?? I know she’s his mother, but I’m sorry, Leia: if your husband couldn’t save your son from himself, why would you be able to? Why didn’t you almost dying in The Last Jedi not affect your son more, if he really cared? Why was calling his name all you had to do? Why didn’t you do that before he started killing all these people? Because it wasn’t dramatically convenient? Because he was fighting Rey at that exact moment and the writers needed to find a way to end that action scene that otherwise could’ve ended with either Rey or Kylo dying? And I’m sorry, but this whole storyline resulted in the one thing I’d dreaded more than anything would happen in a story that shipped these two -- Rey became a tool to Kylo’s redemption. Rather than standing apart as someone with no legacy who builds her own through being a good, noble person, she became defined by her familial and romantic relationships more than she was by her actions. I know Rey ended up defeating Palpatine in the end, but most of her screentime still ended up devoted to her “bond” with Kylo Ren and showed how her love brought him back to the Light. Because seriously, screw the love Kylo’s parents showed him, or Luke showed him -- all they did was sacrifice themselves trying to help him while also standing by their morals and never being tempted to fall like Kylo did -- no, only Rey could’ve brought him back to the side of Good.

And before any of you even try to wave the Sith Lord of my Heart, Darth Vader, in my face, as Snoke said in The Last Jedi, Kylo Ren is no Vader. Vader was tethered to the Empire and to the Emperor, thanks to the injuries he sustained on Mustafar that left him trapped inside his mechanical suit -- if he’d left the Empire, he would’ve died, and on top of all that, he’d already lost his entire family and turned everyone he’d ever cared about -- who were all Jedi -- against him by falling to the Dark Side. Vader had been Anakin -- a slave who was bought out of enslavement by the Jedi, who then turned around and taught him to -- to borrow a phrase -- “conceal, don’t feel,” even if it meant turning a blind eye to the death of his wife and unborn child. Kylo Ren turned to the Dark Side because...honestly? WE NEVER GET A GOOD ANSWER. The best I can get from the films is that Kylo Ren was manipulated by Snoke, who went on and on about how powerful Kylo was and how he should use that power to “bring order to the galaxy” and stuff like that, and then one night Luke held a lit lightsaber over his head for a minute. That justifies falling to the Dark Side and slaughtering all the wittle Jedi? No! And yet Kylo never once has to grapple with what he did -- he never has to make amends. He’s just forgiven, like that! And although Vader likewise never got the chance to make amends, his sacrifice means more than Kylo’s because Vader, through his sacrifice, finally learned the true meaning of love after an entire lifetime of knowing so little of it. The only people who had ever loved Anakin either died or left him -- Kylo always had people who were willing to forgive him, and he spat in their faces. Vader had no one, until his son discovered who he was and tried to reach out to him. And when he reached out, Vader didn’t stab him through the chest or immediately brand him with the murder of his evil master -- Vader followed orders and brought Luke before the Emperor, yes, but when Luke was about to die, Vader saved him.

Kylo Ren’s story could not and SHOULD NOT be Vader’s story, so giving him the same ending is completely unjustified and mismatched with the story being told. Even if the story of a girl and a guy saving each other with “the power of love” was somehow equal in emotional resonance to that of a son trying to reconnect with his father and his father sacrificing his life to save him, that story of a guy and a girl was not built up properly, as we never get much backstory about why Kylo fell, much action on his part to acknowledge his mistakes, or rationale for why we should care about him despite what a terrible person he was and still is. He cares about Rey -- great! Does he care about the Resistance? Leia? Luke? Han? Lando? Chewie? ANYBODY excluding himself and Rey? Han as a Force Ghost at one point suggests that Leia will never die as long as they remember what she stood for -- since when is that something KYLO REN ever cared about?! Leia DESPISED the Empire and Darth Vader, and yet Kylo Ren and the First Order have done nothing but wrap themselves up in their rhetoric and iconography!

On that note, though, I will acknowledge that Kylo Ren, as a character, has always given me certain troubling real-world-like vibes, and that may be part of the reason why it really infuriates me that the movie tried to redeem him. Kylo Ren is a privileged young man from a respected, powerful family who embraces and romanticizes the atrocities of a previous generation, resents others (rather appropriately, a young woman and black man with no greatness in their family names) for taking what should be “rightfully his,” and vows to bring things back to when that previous evil institution was in its full glory -- isn’t that exactly what modern alt-right Neo-Nazi types do? Romanticize the Third Reich and the Klan and wrap themselves up in their supposed “glory,” while being nothing but a pale, pathetic, anger-driven imitation? Even if you don’t personally see Kylo the same way I do, I hope you will at least respect that -- given this lens I see the character through -- it makes sense why I dislike any attempt to give this character sympathy.

+ *inhales heavily* ...Rey...is a Palpatine. *groans in aggravation* J.J., ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? Did you not get why Rian Johnson made Rey’s backstory the way he did, or were you just so in-line with anti-TLJ fans that you wanted to spit in his face in film-form? I know a lot of people were pissed off when Rey was determined to be a “nobody” after what felt like hints of a more developed backstory in TFA, but I seriously can’t help but think that those people missed the point. Rey being a nobody and yet being talented in the Force fixed the whole problem brought up by the Midiclorians in the prequel trilogy -- namely, the thought that you can only be born special, because of your genes. With Rey not being a Kenobi, or a Skywalker, or a Palpatine, it says, “Yes -- you don’t need to have been born special. Anyone can tap into the Force, because it is everything, as are we.” This is even why it’s hinted in previous movies (and once or twice in this movie, though it doesn’t go anywhere) that Finn is Force-sensitive -- Finn, a ex-Stormtrooper! But by turning Rey into a Palpatine all along, J.J. has once again made the Force only something that a select few can tap into -- only special people can have the power needed to stand up to evil. Sure, ordinary people like Poe and Finn can blow things up, but only special people like the Skywalkers and the Palpatines can stop the Sith from destroying the entire rebellion. Instead of this being a story about a girl who had no legacy and yet earned the title of heir to the Skywalker legacy purely through her noble heart and selfless deeds, this became a story of two people -- one from a good family and one from an evil family -- having to come together to deal with their family drama and save the galaxy. Maybe some people wanted to see that from the start, but frankly I didn’t, and even if that story could’ve been told well, it was not the story that we were set up to watch, after we saw The Last Jedi. It also irritates me because of how much the film tries to play Rey’s parents SELLING HER ON JAKKU as them “saving her” from Palpatine. I call BULL. Even Luke was only “saved” from Vader by being given to relatives on a backwater planet -- Rey’s parents ABANDONED her. If you thought that Frozen 2 retconning Elsa and Anna’s parents’ attitudes toward Elsa’s magic was problematic, whoa, boy, have a gander at this. (I actually kind of like Agnarr and Iduna as individual characters in Frozen 2, but I actively have to distance Frozen from its sequel because of canon discrepancies like this.) Rey’s parents didn’t need to have a “good reason” for dropping her off on Jakku -- this film even acknowledges that Rey’s real family is the family she found: Finn, Poe, BB-8, Chewie, Leia, and the Resistance. Rey’s parents could’ve been assholes. Many people’s parents are assholes. Rey is not their child anymore: she is a Skywalker, and that’s all that matters.

+Oh yeah, and speaking of The Last Jedi, NOTHING matches up in this. J.J. literally wrote two complete movies and shoved them together in this one in a vain attempt to completely retcon the last film. Poe earning back his position in the rebellion after learning a lesson about not always barreling into danger without thinking? His character arc has vanished and he shows no more talent for strategy or leadership than he did before. Rey only seeing herself when she was looking for her family? Nope, turns out she was a Palpatine all along: the Force was just trolling her, I guess. Kylo accusing Rey of killing Snoke? Doesn’t come up at all. The young boy using the Force to pick up the broom? Never appears. The signal sent across the galaxy asking for help? Poe says half-way through the movie that nobody came, so it may as well have never happened. Rose and Finn? No mention of the kiss on Krait or anything -- they act like they barely know each other, and Rose has almost no screentime. Even Lando’s return, which should’ve been great, happens when he appears on this random India-like desert planet -- why was he there? Why does he no longer live in Cloud City? Wasn’t he its leader? Wouldn’t he have better fit in a planet like Canto Bight, one that was glitzy and kind of seedy, instead of a pastoral place like that? It’s like reading the first six books in the Harry Potter series, only to end on a version of Deathly Hallows where -- surprise! -- Hermione was actually a pureblood witch all along and she’s actually related to the Lestranges and also Hagrid pops up in Godric’s Hollow to save Hermione and Harry from Nagini for no reason at all, plus Ginny is just a side character now and the author seems to want you to think Harry likes Hermione even if Ron and Harry totally have more chemistry but NO HOMO YOU GUYS COME ON.

+Hahaha, on that note, WOW, have I never seen a film more desperate to try to prove to its audience that its two male main characters are not totally boyfriends. Even though J.J. decided to placate angry fanboys by rather unfairly marginalizing Rose Tico (come on, she may not have been written the best in Last Jedi, but you’re not going to fix that by IGNORING HER ALL TOGETHER), he still thought it best to introduce two new female characters, Zorii and Jannah, who both could’ve been very interesting if they’d had their proper amount of screentime and development, but instead only serve to be substitute “love interests” for Poe and Finn. That might sound harsh, but they literally have no other substantial relationships that get explored in this movie outside of the ones with their respective “guy.” It felt like the film was going, “Look -- Poe’s not gay! He’s got history with this chick, and he gives her a look at the end! And look -- Finn’s not gay! He might’ve been trying to confess his feelings to Rey which totally made his not-boyfriend uber jealous BUT THEY’RE NOT GAY YOU GAIS, and he’s doing stuff with this girl, who was also a Stormtrooper!” Sorry, film, but methinks you doth protest too much. (Even Poe’s actor Oscar Isaac apparently thinks so.)

+Another theme from The Last Jedi that I loved and J.J. clearly didn’t is that the dichotomy between “Jedi” and “Sith” doesn’t inherently equate “good” vs. “evil,” and therefore just because the Sith are evil, it doesn’t mean that the Jedi -- who preached detachment from all affectionate emotions and familial ties -- were right. Even the Resistance is flawed. It’s actually something the prequels and the Clone Wars TV show preach too, and it brings so much more grayness to the Star Wars mythos. In The Rise of Skywalker, however, the Jedi and the Resistance are just seen as the good guys, period, end of story. Who cares if it results in your story being shockingly simplistic and oddly shallow, when compared to the rest of the Star Wars universe?

+The treatment of the Stormtroopers in this movie was actually kind of infuriating. We consistently get reminders about how the First Order’s Stormtroopers were child soldiers who were stolen from their homes and brainwashed, as evident by both Finn and Jannah, and yet throughout the entire movie, they still get cut down in the hundreds without care. Even Finn -- an ex-Stormtrooper himself -- shoots them up like they’re NPCs in a video game! For a film trilogy that did something so powerful by showing the humanity underneath the white helmet, we sure got a film that didn’t give a shit about these people unless they had their helmets off.

+Speaking of the First Order, I saw the Hux-as-the-traitor “twist” coming and I hated finding out that I was right. Honestly it could’ve been played very interestingly if Hux maybe tried to overthrow Kylo and take over the First Order himself, therefore showing how Kylo’s fear-stoking and hatred don’t bring out any loyalty in his followers, but it only results in Hux immediately getting axed off and replaced with another First Order officer we’ve never seen in any of the previous films and therefore don’t care about. Why couldn’t we have reused D.J. the hacker from the previous movie as the spy, or better yet, have the “spy” actually be Kylo, leaking information that he thinks might coax Rey to the Dark Side? The last two films built Hux up as an interesting character, but he was tossed out even more unceremoniously than Commodore Norrington was in the Pirates films.

+This problem of “replacing one antagonist with another out of the blue” is replicated on a large scale with the return of Palpatine. This entire film series has been centered on Kylo Ren and the First Order, but all of a sudden, out of nowhere, we’re just expected to turn all of our focus onto Palpatine and the Knights of Ren, both of whom have had no bearing on the story previously. It could’ve been cool to learn more about the Knights of Ren, but we don’t learn anything about them -- we just see them suddenly being there, when they’d never been there previously. As for Palpatine...did we REALLY need him brought back? Really? The First Order was a threat because they’d wrapped themselves up in their romanticized, false view of the Empire -- that was a choice they made. It didn’t have to be because Palpatine was secretly alive all along and was pulling the strings -- people can do things of their own accord, without a grand, evil mastermind coming back from the dead out of nowhere. Kylo Ren finally got out from under Snoke’s shadow in The Last Jedi and I was so excited to see him come into his own as a villain, but instead all he did was skirt around the coat-tails of Palpatine the entire movie, and it was really disappointing. I WANTED a final confrontation between Kylo and Rey in the climax, like the films had been building up to -- instead all we got was a half-baked “redemption” for Kylo where he teams up with Rey to fight somebody else who just wandered into the story out of nowhere. Even Palpatine’s plot didn’t make any sense -- he tells Kylo for the first half of the movie that they need to kill Rey even though Kylo really wants her to turn to the Dark Side instead, only for Palpatine to (I guess) change his mind at the last minute when Rey arrives in his lair, and yet they play it off as him having planned for that to happen all along because he needs Rey to kill him so she can become one with him and all of the other Sith -- look, I know Palpatine’s whole characterization is hinged on him being a criminal mastermind, but all I want is some consistency! How are we supposed to know what the threat is if we don’t know what our villains want?

+“The Force” is used to rationalize a lot in this movie, from where Rey decides to walk to what plot devices our heroes will need later to why our characters do what they do. Even Finn, who in The Force Awakens accented that he made a choice to break away from the First Order because he saw what he was doing was wrong, now apparently believes that the Force decided that he should join up with Poe and Rey...and I just don’t like that, let alone buy it. The Force was never equivalent to “destiny” -- yes, Anakin was the Chosen One, but he only fulfilled it because the Jedi believed in it enough to train him and he fulfilled the prophecy in a way no one could’ve imagined...and even so, the Force doesn’t dictate everything. Everything is part of the Force, and the Force is part of everything -- but it shouldn’t just be a deus-ex-machina that moves the plot along or does whatever the author needs it to do. For instance, why can the Force suddenly heal wounds?? Since when is that something it can do?? If it could do that, and someone largely self-taught like Rey can do it, then why didn’t Jedi Master Anakin or Obi-Wan ever do that? Why didn’t Anakin use some of his life force to save his dying mother? Why didn’t he think to use it on Padme, or why didn’t Obi-Wan use it on Padme? Why didn’t Luke think to use it to save his father? The only reason why the Force can do that now is that the writers needed to justify why Kylo could give up his remaining life force for Rey, but in order to do that, they give the Force an ability it’s never had previously and doesn’t match up with the previous canon.

+If we’re talking about the Force, though, I have to write a separate bullet point accenting this -- WHY. DOESN’T. FINN. USE IT?? The film clearly likes the thought of Finn being Force-sensitive, but it’s too cowardly to just make Finn a Jedi. When Kylo and Rey were fighting over the ship, why didn’t Finn do something to help?? Why didn’t he blast Kylo or, more relevantly to this discussion, show off some of his latent Force talent by helping Rey yank the ship back? Why didn’t Finn use his Force ability to reach out to Rey while she was fighting Kylo, or fighting Palpatine? He could’ve been the one to wield Anakin’s lightsaber and fight side by side with Rey in that final battle, if Kylo had been the villain like he should’ve been. Maybe Finn confronts Commander Hux inside the command post while Rey’s fighting Kylo, and when Rey tries one last time to connect with the Jedi of the past, she’s able to connect to all of the Jedi, living or dead -- including Finn, as he also has been nurturing a talent in the Force! Through their new mental connection, Rey and Finn are able to help each other, while also being surrounded and spurred on by the corporeal, translucent spirits of Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Mace Windu, Ahsoka Tano, and the rest, all appearing and disappearing one after another around Finn and Rey as they fight. Poe should’ve been commanding the troops from above in Luke’s old X-Wing, it being the only ship he could get his hands on (because I’m sorry -- Han gave Rey the Falcon, she should be the one using it, yet this film just stubbornly kept her out of the driver’s seat for some reason), giving them all of the support he could from the air so that the rest of the First Order can’t interfere with the four-way duel between Finn, Rey, Kylo, and Hux. Maybe when the electricity in the ships gets messed up, Poe’s even able to remember something Rey or Finn told him to tap into the Force enough himself to keep himself airborne until he’s able to crash-land safely. While Hux and Kylo fight to destroy their opponents individually, each seeking glory and victory solely for themselves, Rey and Finn fight together as friends, taking lessons from the Jedi that are their mentors but also standing apart from them and being better than them.

+This movie really felt like two stories smashed together because there were way too many plot lines that were dropped like a hot potato not long after they were introduced. Finn having something to tell Rey? No conclusion. 3PO getting his memory wiped? Resolved quickly a few scenes later with little fall-out. Chewie supposedly getting killed? We find out within minutes that he survived. All of the new characters we meet, like Zorii and Jannah? They get one or two short scenes each where we barely get to know them at all. Even the India-inspired planet I mentioned earlier gets blown up because the First Order thinks it’ll upset the Rebellion and get them to come out of hiding, but...this film is the first time we’ve even seen this planet! We barely spent any time on it! This is really the obvious first choice of a planet whose destruction would upset the Rebellion? We don’t even know any of the characters who live on it personally! At least when Alderaan got blown up, Leia’s parents were on it, so we feel sad for Leia’s sake, but we haven’t built up any emotional investment in that planet that was just blown up.

+Along with this movie feeling like it had too much stuff in it, it also felt very, VERY long. The pacing was very bad, with there being no organic rise and fall to the action and the climax really just feeling like a bunch of plot turns stacked haphazardly on top of each other. When I came out of the theater, I even heard a little boy say to his dad, “That was really long,” and I had to agree with him. It’s not even that long compared to other Star Wars movies, but I just felt like I was being yanked around by the arm throughout the entire run-time, so rather than feeling invested in what was happening, I found myself tuning out and wanting the filmmakers to just get to a point.

Overall, I really don’t think I can recommend this movie. Every Star Wars fan should probably see it, and it’s possible that quite a few of you might get more out of it than me if you disliked The Last Jedi and want to see a movie that “sticks it” to that movie for whatever reason...but even if you do, surely you would agree that stories should not be written like this, where one part is completely invalidated by another and there’s no build-up for anything that happens? Stories should not be just something that you’re passively pulled through by the author -- they should engage you: make you feel for the characters, make you think about its themes, make you guess what might happen next. A story doesn’t mean less if you can make educated guesses about where the story might go if you see where it began -- it also doesn’t mean less if it subverts old literary or canon tropes. But this movie didn’t subvert anything -- instead it openly contradicted and retconned just about everything in the last movie, to the point that Rise of Skywalker clearly wanted to be two movies but didn’t have enough development or care put into it that could prompt a real emotional reaction from its audience. In short, it ended up being an overly complicated, watered-down retread of Return of the Jedi with none of the power in its supposedly “bittersweet” ending. The first two installments in this trilogy got me excited for a new take on Star Wars, to the extent that I for the first time actively looked into the fandom surrounding the films instead of just enjoying the films on my own. It’s therefore quite disappointing to me that the trilogy had to end on such a weak, petering note.

Overall Grade: D

[novelconcepts]

Okay, but all silliness aside: I owe a ridiculous amount to Critical Role. Or, more specifically, to having found CR when I did. I came in around the beginning of the second campaign, and I had no idea what this thing was. I didn’t know a damn thing about D&D. I didn’t watch gamers stream. I think I’d been on Twitch a handful of times to watch Jim Lee draw, and that was...it. 

I came into Critical Role having seen a handful of gifs on my dash from people whose opinions I trust, and I realized Ashley Johnson was involved. That was my full base of knowledge: Ashley “hey, I know her from Recess/Growing Pains, I like her” Johnson was the whole deal. And that could have been a breaking point early on, because the first thirty episodes of Campaign 1 are a little rough if you don’t know what you’re getting into. The audio is questionable in places, it can be hard to track what’s going on, there’s the whole...obvious cast issue. And if you came in knowing only Ashley, you didn’t even get that lifeline the whole way through. 

But here’s the thing: this was 2017? I had just gotten married, and while I married the love of my life, who I had been engaged to--we originally had a slapdash courthouse wedding the day after the election, because it was the only safety net we could grab hold of. At least it would be a legal marriage, in case something really cataclysmic happened before our actual wedding date. I was obsessively refreshing six different news sites every hour while at work, and falling down the darkest political rabbit holes on Twitter every night. I was have terror dreams of nuclear fallout and panic attacks over climate change...and, on top of all the fear and the anger broiling in me, my dysphoria was getting worse by the day. My anxiety. My depression. I was sinking. Fast.  So I did the only thing I know how to do when things get truly bad inside my head. 

I hid inside stories. 

Namely, I hid inside Critical Role. The new campaign wasn’t quite on its feet yet, so I went back and started with Vox Machina. I went into these 3-5 hour episodes, letting them play in the background at work, letting these people I did not know or even really get yet into my head. And, at first, it was just the fascination of the concept. A long-form narrative built by upwards of 8 people, all sitting around a table, just...improvising. Not an inch of that is the way I tell stories, so it was brilliant and baffling, and curiosity had me straight out the gate. 

And, if it had just been the concept, that still might not have been enough to hold my attention. If it had just been the idea of it, it might not have been loud enough to drown out the voices in my head telling me the whole ship was going down, that there was no hope, that there was no point in even getting up in the morning to face more bullshit. 

But...it was Matt Mercer. Matt, with such an incredible array of characters and maps living inside his head, who could so easily have been That Guy--the English Major Asshole who knew he was smarter than everyone in the room and played it up--and instead chooses to be so kind. So utterly engrossed in the desire to give everyone a seat at the table, to let everybody into the narrative he’s weaving. It takes a certain kind of person to not only write the sort of stories he invents for CR, but to be open enough to lean back and let other people take the wheel every night, and to roll with whatever comes his way. 

And it was Travis Willingham. This huge dude who had to sit at the edge of the table because he was all muscle and thumping energy, who I kept expecting to be tight-lipped and brewing with that toxic masculinity judgment straight dudes are taught to value--and, instead of even a modicum of that, he was so excited. So invested in these characters and this game, in these friends, in playing the wisest dumbass ever to cross a screen. Travis, who hugs his male friends, and doesn’t pull the no-homo card, and stans his wife with such delight, there is no way you can watch even half an episode without falling in love with their love. 

And it was Liam O’Brien, who could have played the arrogant Cool Dude, and instead leaned so hard into having fun with his place at the table. Into deep-cut jokes, and his love for his friends, and such an affinity for Laura that I genuinely believed they were siblings. Liam, who wears his soft heart on his sleeve, and understands that sometimes the best way through tragedy is to weave it into a story, to let that be a kind of therapy among friends. 

And it was Taliesin Jaffe. Tal, who is just gonna be him, and not even fuck you if you don’t like it--he doesn’t even seem to notice. Tal, who is physical with his friends, and who laughs with his whole body, and who has the quickest one-liners in the world one minute and “life needs things to live” the next, and who just is such a joy to watch as he immerses himself at the table. He’s gonna have his hair, and he’s gonna wear mismatched socks, and he’s gonna paint those nails, and love his people, and inspire everyone around him to do the same. 

And it was Sam Riegel, who--I’ll be honest--I didn’t get for a while. He was hilarious, and he was a quick-draw, and I loved his songs, but I didn’t understand how much he cared, how truly in it he was. Sam has said he’d do anything to make these people laugh, and I don’t think everyone realizes just how valuable it is to have someone who understands the need of a good laugh in a bad situation. Sam lights up the table in the strangest, silliest ways--but he also brings some of the most vital human moments to the story. 

And it was Laura Bailey, who was just so...warm, it bleeds straight through the screen and envelopes me every time I watch her play. Vex is cool as shit on the surface, but Laura is so full of affection, so quick-witted, so hugely into this game that she transforms herself utterly when she plays. Laura comes to the table to play with everything she’s got, and she’s so honest when she does it. Impeccable voice work one minute, flirtatious wink the next, and then she’s dying laughing at a dick joke. It’s so open, it’s impossible not to love. 

And it was Marisha Ray. Marisha, who took so much shit, and came out the other side standing taller than ever. Marisha, who commits wholeheartedly in voice, in affectation, in climbing up on her chair or lunging backward out of it. From day one, I was rooting for Marisha--I was inspired by Keyleth getting to grow up onscreen, as I’ve been invested in Beau slowly cracking open and letting herself shine out from the spaces she’s spent so much time shoring up. She loves these characters like true friends, and she loves her people, and she loves her husband, and she loves this craft to such a degree, I want to quit my job and come work for her instead. There’s such a strength and a dignity to her that I find myself needing to be stronger, too. 

And, of course, it was Ashley Johnson--deceptively sweet, intensely funny, so much tougher than she looks, and when she turns up in a game, the affection could fill a stadium. Ashley being in town or on Skype for a game is like coming into a party and finding a friend you hadn’t gotten to hang out with in six months waiting for you. Everything just feels brighter with her in the game.

And it is a game, and it is a story, but the family these people have built--people I’ll likely never meet, people who live on the opposite side of the country--is somehow big enough to let complete strangers bask in its reflected glow. I built a habit of listening to CR at work...and then talking about it to my wife, with all the hyper-fixation glee I can’t help when I fall in love with something...and then I was putting it on at home so she could fall in love, too. I was putting on Talks or Between the Sheets while I ran on the treadmill, or when I needed to focus on a project. I put on episodes I’d already seen when I was sad, or when I was lonely, or when I just needed something to fill the silence and keep the darkness in my head behind a wall. For two years, I’ve gone back to these people again and again. To the silly videos. To the serious conversations. To the Twitter feeds and the fanart people can’t resist making to commemorate these characters who feel so tangible. 

Matt always ends the stream with a claim of love, and with most shows, with most streamers, with most people, that just feels like words. With these guys, with the way they open up and share this lightning in a bottle family and story they have created with the rest of us, it feels honest. It feels like these are long-lost friends who may never be in the same room, but are always there when I am drowning because the world is a nightmare, because work is kicking my ass, because this gushing essay is the most I’ve written in months. They are so good. They are human, and fallible, and invested in telling stories that get dark and ugly one minute, and devolve into hysteria the next, because that’s what life looks like. Even life with gods and magic and talking swords and goldfish deaths. 

Critical Role keeps me throwing my shoulders back, keeps me laughing, keeps me insisting on showing the people in my life how much they mean to me. Critical Role keeps me on the board when the demons in my head have me thinking it’d be easier to throw the game. It’s a show, and it’s silly, but it’s given me such a safe, warm place to curl up in some of the bleakest times of my life, and I love them so much for being willing to share some of that light with the rest of the world. They’ve given me a place on the internet that truly does feel like home. 

[machinequeen4]

Fic rec bingo list!

I thought I’d fill out this fic rec bingo card, posted by @lightveils on Twitter!

It sort of turned into the History of MachineQueen in Fanfiction. All you unsung heroes who write and publish fanfic, I love you and remember your names.

Recs for Fire Emblem Fates, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Yu-gi-oh, Doctor Who, RWBY, Ace Attorney, Tales of Graces follow!

1. A fic you love without knowing the source material

Undone - codenamecynic, Dragon Age II, E rated, Fenris/Female Hawke, multichap 135k words

https://archiveofourown.org/works/482156/chapters/838851

I know nothing about Dragon Age and can’t remember why I decided to read it. TV Tropes maybe?  From what I can tell it’s the events of the game with additional sex scenes. Hawke is witty, Fenris is a tragic broken bird, I was sold.

2. A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but it does

Trial and Error - undieshogun, Fire Emblem Fates, T rated, Subaki/Takumi, multichap 15k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6890677/chapters/15719992

Not so much a premise but a ship I wasn’t convinced on. But it had Subaki in it so I gave it a try. It’s really cute - Subaki tries to teach Takumi social skills, much to his annoyance. 

This line alone is gold star characterisation:

"I couldn't tell you why Tsubaki has taken such a liking to you, but I do know that any time he wants to befriend someone, it's because he sees in them something he lacks."

3. A fic you’ve reread several times

Gratitude - GoldenThreads, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, multichap 8k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20344273/chapters/48239686

The writing style is so beautifully layered that I find new meaning every time I read it. The scene where Ferdinand offers a hairpin for each story Hubert tells is gorgeous, one of my favourites to reread. 

4. A fic you still remember many years later

A Song I Think I Heard Before - Scribbler, Yu-gi-oh, T rated, Mai/Jounouchi (Joey), multichap 40k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5924028/1/A_Song_I_Think_I_Heard_Before

My favourite Mai fic. This gives her a backstory with Dartz based villainy and recontextualises her relationship with Jou (Joey in the dub, most YGO authors used the JP names to distance themselves from 4Kids’ added cheese). I was on tenterhooks waiting for each new chapter. It’s got real emotional depth, capturing Mai’s cynical nature perfectly. Also I still think about/use the phrase bumblefuck in the morning. 

5. A comfort fic

just a little stuck on you (you’ll be on me too) - flowermoons, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, one chap 33k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875707

This brings the cast of FE3H to the modern world and drops them into reality TV show The X Factor. There’s no war or death angst, just a singing contest. I grew up with The X Factor on TV on a Saturday night so this was a delight. Like me, the author is cynical about reality TV which makes the fic even more engaging. Ferdinand mourning his long hair after he cuts it and Hubert running round London looking for him really made my day. 

6. A catharthic fic

Long and Lost - Windian, Tales of Graces, M rated, Richard/Asbel, multichap 36k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5357546/chapters/12372899

Listen game, you can’t spend 40 hours having the protagonist’s motivation as ‘save Richard’ and then pull a no homo on me! In this fic Asbel dutifully marries Cheria only for the whole thing to collapse in on itself when he realises he’s in love with Richard after all. The snow storm scene is something I’ll always remember.

7. A fic you’d like to print and put on your bookshelf

Revival series - MyAibou, Yu-gi-oh,  T rated, multiship, many k

http://fanfiction.net/s/2681684/1/Revival-Prologue-Paradox

This is split into multiple parts and has another multipart followup. A continuation of Yu-gi-oh Duel Monsters with shipping and very decent original characters including villains. My polarshipping heart is in love with this scene on the clifftop in part 2 chapter 11 - a slow dance to the sound of the waves to help Mai remember she isn’t alone *melts into a puddle*

8. A fic you associate with a song

Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been - darkrunner, Yu-gi-oh, rated K+, Mai/Jou, multichap 9k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4445992/1/Who-I-Am-Hates-Who-I-ve-Been

It’s titled after a song. This was one of the first fics I ever found, read and loved. I was way too shy to review but I loved this author dearly. Good old angst & hurt/comfort with a happy ending. A happy ending for Mai was all I wanted haha!

9. A fic that inspires you

Patience, Ponies and Pastries - GoldenThreads, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, multichap, 27k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20722859/chapters/49231019

A shipping fic where the two characters being shipped spend most of the fic apart! This author is so good at characterising the pair, there are treasures hidden throughout. I never thought reading about horses of all things could make me so emotional... 

And this passage from Ferdinand’s point of view:

As long as Hubert did not truly reject such affection, did not throw him in the stocks for his bleeding heart, then he did not require reciprocation. He required that Hubert be cherished, and that was that.

10. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

Marik and Bakura Go To Censored Town - Little Kuriboh, Yu-gi-oh, M rated, multichap, 24k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6954805/1/Marik-Bakura-Go-To-Censored-Town

I spent most of my Yu-gi-oh fandom life wishing there were more fics about Mai and tended to avoid the big slash ships. However, Yu-gi-oh Abridged’s strongest pair were always Marik and Bakura. When I read this fic I realised yes, Marik being an idiot and Bakura being the straight man (not literally) makes this ship sing.

11. A fic you wish could be a movie

Denial & Deception - Bohemienne, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, multichap, 74k (incomplete)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20895731/chapters/49671050

The setting of Derdriu is so lushly described that it would make a wonderful movie setting. Additional points for the masked ball chapters! 

Hubert and Ferdinand infiltrate the Leicester Alliance using a fake relationship. It goes as well as you might expect. There is comedy, there is romance and the whole thing makes you want to smack Hubert round the face with a fish. 

12. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

Past Future Continuous - HermitsUnited, Doctor Who, T rated, multichap 20k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4917490/1/Past-Future-Continuous

We are not in contact anymore but we shared a love of Donna Noble. This shines through in all her alternate season 5 fics! 

13. A fic you’ve gushed about IRL

Festering Under Your Skin - Bohemienne, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, multichap 52k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465312/chapters/48559553

My poor gf had to put up with me going on about this one. Lady Edelgard is dead and Ferdinand is a Blue Lion who spares Hubert. All of this is played for maximum dramatic potential. Special marks for the scene where Ferdinand accidentally poisons himself with Hubert’s coffee. So brilliantly in character for both of them. And excellently foreshadowed earlier in the fic where an imprisoned Hubert keeps asking for his coffee... 

14. A fic you associate with a place

Heart of Defiance - battlemage15, RWBY, M rated, multichap 150k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896874/chapters/18038116

I downloaded this to my phone and read it on the top deck of the number 6 bus as it bumped along the country roads of deepest Devon. I was on my way to job interviews in the city and the trip was 2 hours long. The fic itself is a Yang centric shonen power fantasy that goes to pretty dark places. 

15. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Blood and Ink - ShowMeYourFury, RWBY, M rated, Cinder/Ruby, multichap 45k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11754595/1/Blood-and-Ink

This fic is ruthless with Cinder’s villainy. Every time you think she can’t go any further, she does. I love it. 

16. A fic you found at the right time

Forward - Lyricanna, Fire Emblem Fates, not rated, multichap, 34k (incomplete)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12747516/chapters/29075913

I love the concept of this fic so much. Subaki is selected to be a Hoshidan ambassador in Nohr and gets lumped with Niles as a guide. Neither is having a good time. There is a plot going on involving kidnapping and asassination that forces them to work together. 

17. A fic that you would read fic of

The Obligatory Hot Spring Scene - Scribbler, Yu-gi-oh, T rated, oneshot, sub 1k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6368612/1/The-Obligatory-Hot-Spring-Scene

Written as though the characters are actors and canon is a TV show. I love this concept and would read more in a similar vein

18. A fic that made you laugh out loud

Surrender To Your Peace - spiralpegasus, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, Sylvain/Felix, one chap, 11k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20757260

“This is very unfortunate,” Dimitri says with a frown. “As the leader of this mission, I will take full responsibility and use the Swamp Bedroll.”

One does not simply sacrifice themselves to He Who Saw The Bottom Of The Earth And Lived with such a cavalier attitude. “You know your guilt complex doesn’t actually have to extend to sleeping in a gross swamp bag,” Sylvain tells him disbelievingly.

“I agree, Your Highness,” Dedue says, setting He Whose Stench Haunts The Dreams Of Man down on the ground with a delicate sort of distaste. “None of us need use this… bedroll.” He says bedroll the same way he says food when it’s Flayn’s turn to cook.

19. A fic with a line or two you’ve memorised by heart

one sentiment enlightens to another - newamsterdam, Fire Emblem Three Houses, G rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, oneshot 6k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074840

Ferdinand rolls his eyes. “Of course I do, Hubert. I remember very well. I just— well. Perhaps I’ve overestimated you.”

Hubert, who has spent the better part of the past few weeks believing he constantly underestimates Ferdinand, bristles.

Not the exact lines but I always keep this in mind when writing the ship. I think these hit on the fundamental misunderstanding between the two characters. Hubert is only human, not some all powerful hero/villain. And Ferdinand isn’t stupid just because he’s honest and emotional. I think the two of them have trouble getting their heads round these concepts!

20. A fic that gave you butterflies

Ataraxia - Windian, Tales of Graces, T rated, Cheria/Pascal, 13k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7828981/chapters/17871247

"I want you," Cheria tells her, and the night catches like a rubber band. Her hands are in Pascal's hair, Pascal's arms around hers, her mouth on hers. Their kisses are sloppy and messy, noses knocking against one another, but it's everything and it's nothing at all like kissing Asbel.

When they break for air, Pascal tells her, "You don't know how long I've wanted to do this, Cheria."

Cheria asks, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I dunno Cheria, because you were gonna marry Asbel, maybe?"

It stops her in her tracks. Voice low, she asks, "What am I going to tell him?"

Pascal cups either side of her face. Kisses her, so hot and hard that Cheria's left seeing stars, clinging at the strings of Pascal's swimsuit like a shipwrecked sailor to a spar.

"Screw it. Think about it in the morning. For once in your life, do something you want."

21. A fic that embodies something you value in life

The Truth About Love - MistressAkira, Fire Emblem Fates, T rated, Niles/Subaki, 2k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036081

This fic is experimental in style - the author descrbes it as a soliloquy. The sentiment I take from it is that love is compromising, inconvenient, illogical. Yet it’s still something beautiful and something worth fighting for.

22. A favourite AU

Mobius - SirTeateiMoonlight, Xenoblade Chronicles, T rated, multichap, 17k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17845748/chapters/42111473

Melia finds a copy of Xenoblade, plays it and knows exactly what’s going on in the story. She uses this knowledge to her advantage. It’s a slippery slope. By the end of the story she’s mercilessly torturing Lorothia against her brother’s wishes. 

23. A fic you’ve stayed up late to finish reading

Dirty Sympathy - ideny, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, M rated, Klavier/Apollo, 130k on AO3 not sure on kink meme

https://bludhavens.livejournal.com/88397.html?thread=41790541#t41790541

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075868/chapters/2160789

I stayed up reading this until 4am and for some reason (probably tiredness) confessed this to my not-yet-gf. She cites this as one of the moments she fell for me!

It’s a dark fic in which Klavier and Apollo are both in abusive relationships with villains. They concoct a plot to implicate the two of them in criminal activities to escape and fall for each other along the way. 

24. A fic that made you feel seen

i knew you were trouble - Magepaw, Fire Emblem Fates, M rated, Niles/Subaki, 8k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19314568

First of all the title is one of my favourite songs. Second of all the dialogue is everything I want from the Niles/Subaki ship. Third Subaki’s pegasus makes her presence known. Fourth there is a gory battle scene and hurt/comfort gone wrong. And fifth, a happy ending. 

Niles had to turn away, hand pressed to his mouth, before his own blush betrayed him. This was too good to last. This had to be the most embarrassingly vulnerable moment of his entire life, and of course the entirety of the Nohrian and Hoshidan military combined had to be there to see Niles go soft.