#someone has to be the christmas villain and i have claimed that title i must Live Up To Expectations

[catboyfurina]

that one angsty post thats like a bunch of performers/artists being like i have to try so hard to make up for the fact that its me. imagine im rbing it idk where it is anyway. that but about secret santa

[world-of-fire-and-flight]

Mirth's Ebenezer: Part 10

A/N: Y’all. It’s official: this series has taken the title of “my longest series” from Love Letters (bonus chapters/outtakes excluded)✨

Warnings: swearing, argument, some hostility, vague threat, worry, anxiety,

My Masterlist | Taglist Info | Mirth’s Ebenezer series

“Welcome to our home away from home!” Superhero said, waving her inside before she’d even grabbed her bags from her car.

Glancing over at him standing in the utility room door and grinning at her, Mirth rolled her eyes. “I’ll admit it’s a pretty house and not at all what I’d expected from the whole ‘this is house arrest babysitting duty,’ but you’re way too happy to be here.”

“Who says I’m not happy because there’s finally another sane human being here,” Superhero said, stepping down into the garage to help her unload the car.

Mirth laughed. Swatting their arm, she hauled her duffle bag out of the trunk. “Oh, come on, he’s not that bad. You’ve just never drank his eggnog. It’s like all alcohol!”

Superhero cringed. “Must you remind me of your bonding time over Christmas?”

“It wasn’t bonding time,” Mirth growled. “It was my civic duty…more or less.”

Shutting her trunk, Superhero raised their brow. “Cut the crap. I know you had to claim ‘civic duty’ and all that for Whitmire, but was it really?”

“I don’t know…” Mirth shifted on her feet, biting her lip. “Maybe it was both. It was my first Christmas alone, okay? You know holidays are meant—”

“‘To be spent with people you care about,’ I know.” They led the way toward the utility room and into the house. “I’ve heard your motto. Maybe next year I won’t work Christmas so you won’t have to celebrate alone—or with a criminal.”

“You’d be more than welcome,” Mirth laughed, “but I’m hoping my family won’t be scattered to the wind come Christmas. You should really come and celebrate with us, give yourself a break.”

Superhero kicked the door shut behind them. “You know I don’t do big family gatherings…or gatherings.”

“It’ll be fun!” Mirth grinned. “And you don’t have to interact, you could just be your usual grumpy self but with other people around!”

Shaking their head, Superhero brushed past her. Mirth thought she saw a soft smile on their face, but knew they’d never admit to it. She followed after him, taking in the lightly decorated hallway with surprise. She’d expected bare walls and gray paint, but this house was anything but. Sure, it was only a generic painting here, a warm cream on the walls, and a shelving unit with a vase and some silk flowers there, but it made Mirth think that maybe the next three years weren’t going to be so bad after all.

“You really know how to tug at someone’s heartstrings.”

“I thought you didn’t have one, Supes,” Mirth teased, “I mean it’s very hard to tell under the whole ‘brooding hero with an immense sense of duty and justice coursing through their veins’ vibe you’ve got going on.”

Passing by another opening, Mirth saw that it was a sitting room with a large T.V. and a sectional couch.

A sectional couch, with a villain sitting upside down on it while he stared at the ceiling.

“Oh hey, Mirth,” Baron said, turning his head to glance over at them.

“Uh hi?” Mirth didn’t know what to make of him. And not just because of his chosen position, but because it was the first time she’d seen him without a mask. She glanced over at Superhero beside her. He only shrugged, as if he’d accepted the fact that this was to be their life for the next three years. “What are you doing?”

“Superhero hid the remote and there isn’t a single tool in this place that I can access.”

Murmuring to Superhero, she blinked. “You hid the remote?”

“I wasn’t watching another [Network] movie even if he held a knife to my throat,” they whispered back.

“The knives are with the tools!” Baron sat up, swinging his legs to the side and back to the floor. “And so are the forks and the spoons, and do you know how difficult it was to find a snack that didn’t require waking you up for a utensil last night?”

“No, actually, I wouldn’t know because you did wake me up when the alarm went off after too many failed passcode attempts on the supply closet door!” Superhero set down the duffle bag he’d been carrying and stalked over to Baron.

Standing toe-to-toe with each other, Mirth shook her head, watching as Superhero jabbed a finger at Baron’s chest. Sighing, she listened to them bicker back and forth with each other. And in that single moment, any hope for the next three years and living peacefully in this beautiful home evaporated.

“Right, well if you two are fine here, then I’m gonna go get settled,” she called over their raised voices.

Both heads snapped in her direction, their fight pausing mid-sentence. Superhero straightened, their features easing. They took a step away from Baron and turned toward her, opening their mouth to say something, but Baron spoke first.

“We thought you should have the master bedroom.”

Mirth’s brow raised in question.

“Yeah, so you wouldn’t have to share the hall bath with one of us,” Superhero added.

“Is that the only thing you two could agree on?” Mirth asked, setting her bag down and putting her hands on her hips.

Glancing at each other, the two seemed to have a non-committal conversation.

“No?” Superhero said more in question than in answer.

“Yeah, no,” Baron tried to explain, “I’m sure we agreed on something else, right, Superhero?” Snapping his fingers, Baron’s eyes sparked with remembrance. “That thing! We agreed on that thing, with the…”

“Yeah, the thing,” Superhero said, staring at Baron like he’d lost his mind. Looking back at her, Superhero started forward, “Come on, I’ll show you the—”

“I can find it myself,” Mirth said. “You two need to figure out how to live with each other in the next ten minutes, or…well I’m not sure exactly, but neither of you are gonna like it once I figure it out.”

Baron smiled, obviously trying not to laugh. “You’re such a hero. How are you honestly so good?”

Mirth groaned, nearly stomping her foot. Grabbing her bag, she didn’t dignify that with a response and stalked down the hallway.

*

Watching her go, Baron let out a shaky breath. He’d never really seen Mirth angry before, and if that was the extent of it, he didn’t think he had anything to really worry about.

“Don’t look so happy,” Superhero muttered. “If she’s genuinely angry at us, it won’t be good.”

Baron glanced at him, tilting his head. “I don’t think that’s what I’d consider anger, but okay, Supes.”

Whirling on him, Superhero glared at him. “One, we’re not friends. Don’t call me ‘Supes.’ And two, you’ve never seen what happens when Mirth gets angry. It’s subtle, but it’ll tear you down and gut you before she’s ready to forgive you.”

Baron couldn’t picture it being any worse than what he’d been through already. He was about to say as much, but Superhero stomped out of the sitting room, turning the opposite way from where Mirth had gone.

He didn’t think they’d done anything all that bad. People fight, they exchange words, they argue, so what?

Humming to himself, Baron decided he was going to get to the bottom of this before it became a bigger issue…and to hopefully avoid whatever possible fate Superhero seemed to fear.

Quickly making his way upstairs, Baron stopped before the closed door to Mirth’s bedroom. Inside, he could hear the light sounds of someone rummaging through the room. Nestled amongst the sliding of drawers and soft thuds or the twinkle of the room’s more delicate furnishings, he could hear Mirth muttering incoherently to herself.

His lips quirked into a small smile. Finally raising his hand to knock on the door, Baron prayed he’d figure out what to say in the time between Mirth heard his knocking and when she responded to him.

“I don’t care what you want, just go away!” she called through the door.

“But you don’t even know if it’s me or Supes,” Baron responded.

Utter silence echoed from the room now. Baron waited for some sort of acknowledgement, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You have a habit of showing up at my door at the worst possible times, do you know that?” Mirth’s voice was quieter now, though she sounded as though she stood just on the other side of the door.

“Why is this time bad?” he asked. Guilt wormed its way through his gut. His heart seemed to circulate the emotion through his whole body.

Mirth yanked open the door. Blinking, Baron took a step back, having not anticipated the door opening anytime soon. The anger and irritation he expected to see on her face didn’t show, and instead Mirth had a calm expression masking the tension of her features and the fire blazing in her eyes.

“Do you really not realize?” she asked. Baron opened his mouth to reply, but Mirth carried on. He shrank back as she answered the obliviously rhetorical question. “It hasn’t even been a day and you and Superhero can’t stand each other, pulling petty tricks or pranks on each other, and for what gain? You’re stuck here, they’re stuck here, and I’m stuck with you two. How are we supposed to do this for the next three years if I can’t even take a day without one of you calling me up and asking when I’ll be back? How are we supposed to make a schedule or learn to live with each other if you two aren’t willing to adapt?

“And that’s not even touching the fact that the Agency is essentially declaring war on Supervillain by investigating his spy within the Agency, or the fact that you’re going to help us in finding them.” She stopped, sucking in a huge breath before rambling on. Baron listened, trying furiously to understand what she was talking about, but all he could think about was the fact that this was the first time Mirth had ever shown any sign of insecurity to him, and he didn’t know how to handle that or give her any semblance of assurance. “And what if Supervillain finds the safehouse? What are we supposed to do then? Or what if—”

“Mirth,” Baron interrupted quietly, “it’s fine, okay?”

She looked at him, as if seeing him standing before her for the first time. Blinking hard, she took a deep breath.

Baron shook his head as he saw her plaster on a tense smile. “No, don’t just pretend you aren’t worried or that me telling you everything’s fine actually makes you feel better. I know that’s bullshit.”

“It’s the thought that counts, isn’t it?” she said, huffing a humorless laugh. “I’m sorry, I just completely unloaded on you, I just have all this going on in my head and…having you two fighting constantly in the background is something I don’t want to have to worry about or be caught in the middle of.”

“Okay, then I’ll stop,” he promised. “Even though Supes is an easy target, if we have other things to worry about, I can refrain from my favorite past time.”

This time, Mirth laughed. Baron’s heart clenched. An idea sparked in his head. Eagerness quickly flooded his veins.

“Take your time and get settled,” he said, already turning away. Mirth’s brows drew together in confusion. “And come downstairs when you’re ready, I have an idea!”

“What sort of idea?” she called after him.

Smirking, he replied over his shoulder, “You’ll see!”

Part 11 Taglist: @feline17ff, @selene-stories, @violetcancerian, @kaiwewi

[dragonofdarknesschaos]

Look at Me Twirling my CVS Receipt!!

DelaneyArt said:

Me again.

Here. If you wanna get yourself involved even more than you already are. This is what Sky said to me recently. And I’ve agreed to her terms. Me and her are MUTUAL I never said we were friends. 

Transcription if the image does not load:

From Skyrawathi, 12/24/2018

Okay so I have read your letters. I understand what you mean. I am just not sure if you are honest with your apologizing and with willing to end this war. I mean it is hard now for me to trust you because I am afraid that you will start insulting me again soon. I hope I am wronf. [sic] Maybe I just need some time. I guess we both need to calm down. Especially it is Christmas now. Emotions are hard to handle. I am also sick of this situation already. But if what you say is true and you want to be honest with me, ans [sic] you don’t want use [sic] anymore to be enemies then it is so cool

I could show you how you can develop your art, where you can find inspiration and how to use them to create sth original. You really don’t need my art that much and you don’t need to redraw them. I mean it is so cool if we could inspire each other, but you have to start first creating something original. And yeah, you can because as you have mentioned that comic Possessive of yours, you prove with this that you can be creative and inspiring for other artists. Just lets calm down because I never intended to be your enemy, I never wanted to. But you see how far this conflict went and it is stupid? Don’t you think?

I understand that sometimes it is hard for everyone to come up with sth new and we lack new ideas. Every artist suffer this so it is nothing to be ashamed of. I can show you how to fix that so you will always have awesome ideas in head.

But first you definately [sic] have to credit me. And if you want to make a redraw of my work then you should write in post that this pic is study of Skyrawathi’s art. And it is nth wrong because lots of artists study others. Me either. I always mention the source of the pic that I used as reference.

So yeah, we can definately [sic] end this war and come to agreement. But just please, do what I ask. Credit me when you use my art, and if you can be that cool to ask me for permission before you do a redraw then that would be really awesome of you. Then you will never ever deal with reporting because your hands will be clean.

In return to show you that I am not evil, I can help you with improvement. I can show you how to turn your inspirations into original ideas and how to draw chamiko so well that you will never ever need someone’s pic as a base.

Does it sound ok for you?

Now, from what I’ve gathered from the first paragraph of this email along with mentions to prior emails in the same chain as alluded to in the PSA post, D decided that before Christmas–a time when everyone wants to relax and spend time with their families, friends, and loved ones; the season of comfort and joy–was an excellent time to send insulting emails and threats to her most inspiring idol, just for reporting D’s facebook page.  I cannot imagine what was said, but the way Sky is reacting leads me to believe that the insults were so volatile that they may never see the light of day again.  Sky might have even feared for her well being and that is why she is offering to help.  If this is how D treats someone she claims to hold in such high respect and idolize, then I cannot imagine how she treats anyone below such a pedestal.

Actually, I can.  For telling the admin of a closed Xiaolin facebook group that D was plagiarizing other artists, which resulted in D getting kicked from the group, I was called “a crazy bitch” back in September of 2018.  I have not once insulted D, yet she continues to berate me and harass me on multiple social media sites for warning others about her.  I’ll speak more on this later.

Back to the email.  To summarize what Sky is saying:

Sky is tired of this war; it’s stupid and she wants it to stop

Sky doesn’t know if she can forgive D

D’s actions have repeatedly shown that she cannot be trusted

Sky is willing to help D improve so that she can get better and not need to copy other’s art

In order to get to that point, Sky asked D for four things:

give Sky credit on the art that D has already posted

start crediting and sourcing the artists whose work D “studies” or “copies to learn from”

ask Sky (and any other artists) for permission before doing a redraw of their respective artwork

create something original

At no point does Sky say they are friends or “mutuals.”

At no point in this email does Sky say that D and her are mutual in anything, but I would infer there is a mutual understanding that D must do better.  None of this excuses D’s harassing and abusive behavior.

Alright, if D wants to work on herself and get better let’s see how she is doing on her end of the deal with crediting and sourcing artists.  I’d give links to D’s OPs, but she has me blocked.

“Version inspired from [Sky’s real name] aka Skyrawathi”

Ah yes, I always love getting doxed when one of my fans credit me without linking back to my original work!  Please don’t do this.  Only villains do this.

Three instances of “Inspired from Skyrawathis version”

Again, no link?  Not even going to mention the title of the piece?  Sky has HUNDREDS of pictures!  How am I going to know which one D is copying?  How will I know where to find Sky’s original works if you DON’T LINK TO THEM????  I am but a lazy potato!

“Inspired from Skyrawathi Chamiko Great Wall Kiss”

Better, but still no link.

“Inspired from Skyrawathi “Together in Snowflakes” ”

Getting fancy with the formatting here, but WHERE IS THE LINK??????

“Original design and concept”

Ah, finally!  Something original, just as requested!  Although… Chase’s pose looks kinda familiar.  So does that horse.  I wonder…

Chase’s pose is Dashi’s character art from the Xiaolin Dragons Kickstarter art dump part one.

Oh, and Kimiko’s pose and horse are literally the second result for “mulan horse” on Google images.  But, tell me again how D has changed and is crediting artists and making original drawings without reference?

If you want to credit people, please use MLA format for your citing.  Or if that’s too hard to remember, here’s a handy formula:

[Artist’s username]. “[Title of Piece].”  [Publishing platform or publication e.g. Tumblr, Deviant Art, Instagram, Time Magazine etc.], [date published], [source URL].

@Skyrawathi. “Together in snowflakes.” Deviant Art, December 24, 2017, https://www.deviantart.com/skyrawathi/art/Together-in-snowflakes-721748400

Here’s a more casual way to credit someone if that’s too formal for you, with links bolded:

Couldn’t get enough of @Skyrawathi‘s “Together in snowflakes” so I had to redraw it (with permission)!

Here’s an original image I made using these references: Chase’s pose (Grand Master Dashi), Kimiko and Horse.

The point is to LINK BACK TO THE ORIGINAL ARTIST.  Simply mentioning them as plain text does not work.  LINK TO YOUR REFERENCES.  I should not have to do an internet search to find what you are referencing.  The citing I did here took less than two minutes.  If someone cannot take two minutes or less to show such a basic level of respect then there is no hope.

As for the matter of being “mutuals,” I am sorry for jumping to “friends,” but that is usually what “mutuals” means on Tumblr; “two people, usually friends, that follow each other’s blogs.”  Not all mutuals are friends and not all friends are mutuals.  I jumped the gun a bit based on personal meaning assigned to that word.  However that doesn’t explain this:

Facebook status post from D that reads:

[Sky’s real name] (aka Skyrawathi) is an amazing Chamiko artist and I am truly inspired by her work. I should’ve credited her in the beginning, I didn’t think I had to but I will from now on out of respect for her work. I hope to improve my art as much as I can and strive to get my skills to her level, even though I know I have my own set of skills and will still continue to be inspired from her work and in general in the future, but I hope to not have to rely on a reference to draw. I appreciate us coming to an agreement and I hope we can be mutual in all of this. Thank you Skyrawathi, and it’s a dream come true to be able to become friends with the person who has inspired my work all this time. I will work on making original Chamiko art that is 100% from me (heart emoji)

Once again, don’t put someone’s real name with their URL.  It can be construed as doxing.  Do not do that.  It’s highly disrespectful gesture towards someone one claims to hold in such high regard, but as has already been established, D lacks this basic understanding of respect.

I have been doing art for almost three decades.  I know people who have been doing it two and three times longer than I.  We all use reference.  Do not set yourself up for failure by saying you “hope to not have to rely on a reference to draw,” because that is never going to happen.  This goes for everyone.  Using reference is not a crutch.  Reference is a tool for when you do not know how to draw something.  Young artists use a lot of references because they do not have the knowledge or experience of drawing a hand 500 times, or a head 1,000 times, or a leg 250 times!  There is no shame in that perceived lack.  Getting around it is just practice.  Find photographs–either free and open stock or your own–and draw what you see.  D has a great eye and very nice photos on her Instagram before it was taken down!  She could learn a lot by doing studies from her own photos like this.  But Sky’s art, my art, everyone else’s art is NOT anyone’s reference!  It took me a while to understand that, but I’m lucky in that I didn’t get myself into any trouble with that misunderstanding.  The best way around that misunderstanding, should it occur, is to first, apologize to the artist you referenced; second ask what they would like done with the artwork you made.  If they want it taken down–remove it from all platforms.  Do not reupload it anywhere.  If they say it’s fine, just credit them, then credit them as I explained above with LINKS.  “Crediting” the original artists as plain text shows that D has not changed as she claims to, or is only trying to placate her audience to believe she is telling the truth about her change.

Continuing with that lack of change, here is the text I bolded:

“I hope we can be MUTUAL … it’s a dream come true to be able to become FRIENDS…”

What is the truth, Delaney?  Friends or Mutuals?  Since D is so unreliable in her narrative, let’s hear Sky’s take:

Transcription of DMs:

Sky: Sorry, that I will bother you with Delaney but she has just written to me. She said that there is some drama on Tumblr. Said that she never called me and her friends and I approved it because I am hell no friend to her. And she also asked me what kind of problems people still have with her…xD and I was a bit like WTF. But I told her again that she has done so much harm to so many ppl that she cannot expect from anyone to just simply forget.

[…]

She actually left me in peace and I am happy about it. And even if she writed sth [sic] then I just ignore her, because I don’t want to have anything to do with her. But I just checked this letter about Chaos. Anyway I would very much appreciated if she wasn’t mentioning me and using my person as a ladder for her business.

This is what I also told her. She can’t expect from us to be ok with her. Nobody will start liking her just because she said sorry.

Once again, I repeat, Sky is NOT D’s friend.  Sky wants nothing to do with D.  Sky does not even want D to mention her at all, ever.  So all that artwork I have screen capped from D’s blog should not even be posted, because–per Sky’s wishes–D cannot credit Sky without mentioning her, inevitably associating the two together.   As such, D cannot have any of the artwork she copied from Sky posted without violating the wishes of someone she claims to highly respect.  Furthermore, posting the artwork she claims to be “original” while still copying well known and iconic material without due credit or sourcing shows that D has not changed, or even attempted to change.  All this drama has bungled things for D so much that no one is wiling to talk to or work with her.  Thus, all of the terms Sky set up to help D have been violated.  If D wants to claim she has changed she needs to SHOW she has changed without words, through actions.

That means that instead of finding my three month old post about her and replying “lol” on multiple occasions has to STOP.  Replying to my posts about her misdeeds has to STOP.  Messaging people who give notes to those posts about her has to STOP.  Directly messaging people who give her original posts notes asking them to follow her has to STOP.  Harassing everyone and anyone who slightly disagrees with her has to STOP.  All of this:

D replied to your post: You’re so wrong. And if anyone is toxic in this, it’s you for not letting this go. You re jealous of me. Period. That’s why you can’t seem to let it go. I have apologized and redeemed myself. If you people can’t get over that, that’s on you.

D IM: You have issues if you can’t seem to let this go. Me and sky are mutual now. Not that I have to explain anything to you. I have redeemed myself and apologised to everyone. Still you people make posts about me, trying to diminish my following but it’s never gonna happen. Thanks for the publicity again

D asked me: Please get a life, It’s pathetic

D replied to your post: Again, me. Clearly. Let it go like Elsa.

HAS TO STOP.

I have made three (3) posts about D including this one (excluding reblogs).  In total D has left harassing messages to me 7-10 times.  Not once has she apologized for harassing me on dA, Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, or Twitter.  Not once has she shown me any sign of changing her ways.  All we have asked for is BASIC RESPECT.  At every turn D promises to start respecting us and change her ways, then laughs in our faces for even thinking we were worthy of Her respect and attention.

Respect is an interesting thing.  You have to give it to get it.  Even a three year old understands this.  Until D shows the capacity at this basic level to show respect and common courtesy to her peers, superiors, and kohai no one is going to interact with her; she will continue to be treated as nothing more than a joke.

You want to learn how to draw using reference?  I have a rough tutorial for that.

You want to learn how to use and learn from your studies?  I got something for that too!

You want some references? Try Senshi-Stock’s official app or what’s left of Tumblr.  AnatomicalArt has thousands of references and tutorials, and with all of this on Tumblr, crediting your sources is easier than ever!

Or, you know, take some selfies and not have to credit anyone.  ;D

TL;DR

D: you’re wrong; I never said Sky and I were friends; we’re MUTUAL! D: here are some terms Sky made that I agreed to–

Sky’s terms:

Give Sky credit on the work D has already copied

D must credit and source all other artists she copies

D must ask permission to copy anyone in the future

D must create something original

If all these terms are met, Sky will help teach D how to use reference correctly so D can draw better.

Receipts showing the following:

6 instances of D not properly crediting Sky

D claiming something to be original without citing referenced materials

Mini guide on how to properly cite an artist or reference:

LINK TO THE ORIGINAL POST AND ARTIST PROFILE!!

Seriously, it’s not that hard!?

Facebook status from D calling Sky both “a mutual” and “a friend.”  [what is the truth.gif]

DMs from Sky saying as follows:

Sky is not D’s friend!

Sky wants nothing to do with D

Sky wants D to stop mentioning her altogether

Sky cutting ties like this means that D cannot mention Sky to credit her on reposts of the copied art.

>violates term 1

D has few other artworks to post, so she cannot credit other artists.

>fails term 2

Everyone is so hurt by D that she has been completely shut out and will be hard pressed to find anyone to give her permission in the future.

>fails term 3

D’s attempt to create something “original” resulted in copying and not sourcing more artwork

>fails term 4, 3, and 2

Please stop harassing me.  Look at all these receipts!  Learn some basic respect before coming back.

Have a few tutorials and resources.

[fantasma-exspiravit]

Freak Show Ghost Envy

Crack Theory

Today I'd like to talk about Ghost Envy and why it exists in the Danny Phantom universe. Who coined the idea and all of that. All my thoughts and theories are up to personal opinion, I just like to over analyze things and jump to conclusions. ☺️ Sooooo, without further ado...

Ghost Envy. We first find out about it in the episode reality trip. One might think it was a common thing since Jazz is reading a whole book about it to write her college thesis essay. Titled "Ghost Envy for dimwits: Ghosts are not the boss of me" this book must have some sort of scientific claim for Jazz to be using it for research. But who did this research? As a reminder: Season one starts off with the general public at the understanding that ghosts aren't real. It's such a fringe topic that Jasmine is able to get JACK (of all people) to admit in Mystery Meat, and I quote, "I, Jack Fenton, from this day forth, do hereby turn my back on ghosts. And this thermos can't trap ghosts because ghosts don't exist."

We know for sure that ghosts sightings, research, and proof are rare things. Those who believe in ghosts and try to prove of their existence tend to be societal outcasts who (even with tremendous research like Jack and Maddie) tend to be laughed off as crack pots. That begs the qestion, who wrote this book?

We know it can't be a scientist. At least not a well founded peer reviewed one. As my calculations show from Danny phantom's sleep deprivation (link), each episode spans about 4.4 days from each other (at least until Christmas). Ghosts finally come into public eye during the episode Public Enemies. That happens when Walker uses Phantom and exposes him to the public, to the news, and makes him look like a villain (by stealing the mayor-- do I need to put spoilers for an over ten year old kids cartoon??). This is the 15th episode in the series making this 66 days into the school year (generously assuming Danny got his powers the first day of school) or, just a hair over 2 months.

Why is this important? Well, Reality Trip happens the last day of school. Any well-eatablished psychologist who wants to do research on how the human psyche is affected by the knowledge of ghosts is gonna need to find, subjects, get a board to approve of an experiment, run the experiment, hopefully have others run the experiment for extra backing, get these articles peer reviewed, get them into an established journal, then write a book on Ghost Envy with all its research at a good enough level that Jazz would want to use it as a resource-- Oh, and all before the last six months of time before school get out for the average teen in America.

While there were other ghost researchers (or at least hunters) in the series, we get a chance to see all the best known and established ghost fanatics in Million Dollar Ghost. This episode happens after Public Enemies, but for lenience, we're gonna assume these guys were all around in the shadows (like Maddie and Jack) and have come to light more now the ghosts are a hot topic. We have the groovy gang and scardey cat, the xtreme ghostbreakers, and the guys in white. The former two certainly aren't researchers. And the guys in white, even if they performed their own studies outside of ghosts (since they never seem to want to experiment on the public and only threaten Phantom with experiments) I doubt the government would be publishing any of their research, akin to no one knowing about Area 51 and so on. Whoever wrote the book knew a great deal about Ghost Envy, had lots of time to research it (before ghosts were popular), and didn't already defame their name through crazy stunts like Jack and Maddie.

Not all is lost, however. I just happen to know an author who has already proven to write about Ghost subjects.

I know, Freak Show is adement that he doesn't have Ghost Envy. Who's to say, though, that he didn't research and write the book to prove to the world that he didn't have Ghost Envy. This is called guilt transference. Ever seen someone you know is a cheater adimently accuse their significant other of having been promiscuous? It's under the idea that if you can attribute the the thing you feel you've done wrong onto someone else, you won't be looked at as in the wrong. He is, however, self aware enough, that at the start of the episode when the guys in white state "We know how you envy ghosts" he doesn't deny it. We also know he discusses this topic with Jazz when he feels safe, so clearly he isn't so closeted about his Ghost Envy that writing a book about it would be considered tabu.

I believe, it runs deeper than just a problem with his family, though. Whether or not he told Jazz about this to try and bait pity out of her is a whole different subject. This may go deeper than just parents or his audience loving ghosts more than him. Dealing with the section when he states that he may love ghosts more than himself I'd like to turn our attention to Lydia. She was the only ghost who, when broken free of the orbs charm, stuck it out with Freak Show. Why? I believe the two may have more or less secret affection for each other.

But she is dead. Not just dead, she's a ghost. An immortal being that is very rare and difficult to become, the chances Freak Show might become a ghost are basically zero. Regardless of how many trinkets he has to try and make himself ghostly (whatever causes his ghostly aura around him). One day he will die and she will live on. This makes his hatred of ghostly things all the more real as it now keeps him from having a happy life with Lydia. It may be a part of the cause for him to want her to express more human traits. It would also explain why he offers to take her to dinner or a movie before stating he'll spend their afternoon becoming the ringmaster of the world.

In other words: I really ship Freak Show and Lydia and I think there's enough evidence for me to say it could have been canon.

[noctisluciscaelumcxiv]

In Which Chiyo Wastes Your Time For A Joke

background: i like mystery diners alot. i watch it alot. i decided to tell a joke about it. here it is under cut. ENJOY!

In Which Chiyo Wastes Your Time For A Joke

*bre,,,,gaymie,,,,,olivia...im so sorry in advance that you had to read this.

“Hey it’s me, Charles Stiles, I’m with a company called Mystery Diners.”

Whether you asked or not, he will always greet you with this single phrase. Mystery Diners is a “reality TV show” that focuses on weeding out the bad seeds of a certain food service. Many episodes revolve around finding the culprit responsible for a host of problems that the food service is having. Usually, via a three act structure, the problem is solved within the 20 minute time frame. The show is Produced by the T Group Productions, makers of such classics as Swamp Hunters and I Catfished My Kid. Many have accused the show of being staged, though Charles Stiles of Mystery DIners denies these claims. Who is this Charles Stiles? Well, he is the owner of California-based Business Evaluation Services and Mystery Shopper Services. These services are for companies to secretly test that their customer service is up to par by hiring “Mystery SHoppeers” to evaluate them. From the website:

    “Mystery shopping is one of the most traditional and effective methods for gathering feedback on your guests’ experience. You can gain valuable insight into how your customers feel about doing business with your company.”

THe show is an extension of these services, televised and dramaticized for our viewing pleasure. There’s many things a bit...off about the show. It’s a bit hard to put your finger on it, but once you sit and watch a few minutes, it starts to become clear. It’s very obviously a put on. Many episodes have “conflicts” that are are so absurd, one wonders how anyone could actually take it seriously. The “Action Burger” episode is quite a good place to start for how ridiculous this show can be.

Before tackling this episode, you must first understand the structure of the show. This is VITAL. The sho is split into three separate sections: The Consultation, The Sting and The Confrontation. Sometimes an optional fourth chapter is added to the story, The Restaurant Update. OH. There’s one thing before the show can actually start! The One Minute Advertisement. This is where the food service owner has a short section to sell their product. It usually ends up being them talking about thier most popular dishes. The Consultation is next. This is where Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners sits down with the disgruntled owners and talks about the issue. Problems range from “I think someone is rigging my poetry night,” “There’s a Suspicious Christmas Elf outside my shop,” or “I think my mother is stealing my secret Krabby Patty Formula.” No matter the problem, 90% of them boil down to a petty money making scheme by one of the employees or a scam. During this section, we also see the Control Room Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners sets up. He goes over how many hidden cameras he has placed throughout the perimeter of the area. He also introduces his Mystery Diners here. These are the people who infiltrate the restaurant to uncover clues that will help solve the mystery. They pose as guests or workers to do so.

Next we have the Sting, which is the true meat and potatoes of each Episode. This is where the juicy stuff happens. Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners and the owner sit in the control room and survey the restaurant on a usual day of service. It becomes quickly obvious to the viewer just who the culprit is usually within the first few moments. Sometimes a red herring will be thrown in, like a skeevy worker who seems to be stealing or talking negatively about the restaurant. Almost always, this person is revealed to either an accomplice to the crimes, or a misunderstood worker. Surveillance work is a unpredictable job. Cameras or microphone can fail, and unforeseen situations may arise. In these cases, Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners may have a ace in the hole. Things like drones, roller skate robots or hacking devices are not uncommon in the later seasons. Even with all these gadgets, the unpredictable may still happen. In these cases the Sting is usually cut short with Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners proudly proclaiming, “I think we have enough evidence to close this case. Why don’t you go down there and stop *whatever is going on* and bring them back up here!” This is immediately followed by--

The Confrontation! This is the most EXPLOSIVE part of any episode. Tensions are running high as the owner confronts the inept, wrongdoers. Often, this can lead to hands flying and tears streaming. Sometimes other customers get involved, sometimes other scams are revealed. In all cases, the offenders are fired or quit and those who were wrapped into a world of debauchery by the offenders are let off with a mild talking to. This section usually ends with the owner offering his eternal gratitude to Charle Stiles of Mystery Diners. They may even throw in a meal, on the house of course! A few weeks later an update of the restaurant is given. All problems are solved and nothing is awry. All’s well that ends well.

With the basic structure of the show down, it is time to take a closer look at an episode, “Action Burger.” Well...the offical episode title is actually “Comic Book Caper.” This is episode 6 (133 overall) in season 11 released December 30, 2015.

After the intro, we meet Vlane Carter, our protagonist for today.

(Vlane Carter, our tragic Hero)

His restaurant is a combination of his passions in life, “sci-fi comics, and FOOD.” One mouth watering explanation of his menu later (it’s spit into “villain” dishes and “hero” dishes. From how he explains it, it seems that villain dishes are quite fattening and greasy while hero dishes are more on the healthy side.), we get yet ANOTHER explanation (though not as tasty) about Vlane’s comic, Bio-Sapien. Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners is in awe of our great protagonist’s skills. Through this Consultation, we learn that a few of Vlane’s valuable comics keep going missing.

(valued at $155)

(valued at $75)

(valued at $750)

He suspects, Gary the Manager, Keenan(?) the Cashier and John the Cook. He also wants to know about the more mundane issue of employees arguing with customers over comic books. Denis, our P.I., infers that maybe someone is stealing the comics….to re sell them! He’s gotta look more into that though, one can never be sure with crimes like these. Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners ensures Vlane that “...At the end of the day, you’ll have your answers, I can assure you of that!” and we are thrust into the STING.

(today’s Control Room. Vlane’s exclamations of “SO HIGH TECH” leave the viewer breathless at such an astonishing show of technology.)

We go over camera placements (not as detail heavy as earlier episodes, lasting only a few seconds) and once again go over our suspects. Gary is said to be our least likely suspect, thought Vlane doesn’t have many negative comments regarding any of the suspects. Denis returns with nothing bad to say about the employees either. He says that all the local pawn shops no nothing of the stolen artifacts and it seems like this case may be lost forever… Until he whips out his 1999 Padger to show that he did indeed find the comics being auctioned off online. It seems as though the

comics have already been *gasp* sold! Denis leaves his “pad” with Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners just in case any other comics pop up.

(Our Mystery Diner for today.)

We are introduced to our Mystery Diner Beatrice (who makes sure let the audience how tasty the food is and how knowledgeable the staff is about comics). THis mini commercial is cut show by Gary arguing who the better batman is with a customer. The tensions run high in this scene, and they soon burst as the custmer Omar storms out. Or rather, is basically thrown out by Gary.

(Even the customers tremble at such a heated debate.)

We are then introduced to the most bizarre thing in this restaurant, Bellona. This is a young woman hired by Vlane to cosplay as his comic book character and walk around the shop for a few hours a few times a week. While Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners believes they should keep a close eye on her, Vlane is adamant in defending his “heroine.” Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners solemnly reminds our hero that “Even superheroes have their weakness.” Faux Bellona, or Jessica, seems to be well liked by the staff and customers alike (probably because of her super costume….), though there is one issue. She gives away copies of Vlane’s comic for free and eats lunch there without paying (to which Vlane remarks that eating burgers is far out of character for Bellona, a devout vegetarian.). This seems to be the first seeds of doubt that have sprung into our protagonist’s heart.

(Our Second Mystery Diner)

After a sequence with more hijinks and misconduct with Jessica, we are introduced to our second Mystery DIner, whose job it is to tempt the employees into buying a very rare comic.

THe idea is that the crooked criminal will tell the clueless customer that his comic is worth very little, when in fact its worht $300. That, and Action Burger is NOT a collector. Keenan, our cashier, passes the test but one other unlikely--it’s Jessica. She tells the simple minded store goer that the comic is worthless (which CHareles Stiles of Mystery Diners assures us that he checked HIMSELF! ITS IN MINT CONDITION!) and to sell it her for a few bucks. Very….suspicious.,.......could she be….no….not the heroine! Maybe this isn’t the case.

Jessica goes into Vlane’s office (a huge no-no) and snaps a pic of the comic to post online. THrough the “pad,” Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners informs VLane that the comic has just appeared on the auction website for sale!!!!!!!! Having had enough Vlane storms done to the office, ready to confront the super hero gone bad. This is the explosive confrontation that everythinghas been leading up to! At the Control room is where all this tension...BURSTS! Jessica insists that she’s giving away comics to promote business and accuses Vlane of not feeding her on the clock. Vlane corrects her saying that Bellona doesn’t need food, what with being a biomechanical alien and all. Oh and uh, also that giving books away fro free isn’t cool. Or something. Jessica then proceeds to call the Mystery Diner a dumb ass and VLane once again has to correct her in saying that super heroes dont take advantage of people! Seems like Jessica was always rotten to the core. After telling her that she is undeserving of such a noble outfit, he fires her and she storms out. Oh and she steals the costume. Next he confronts Gary….It’s pretty boring. Gary just makes a few excuses and is put on probation for a few months. Vlane promises to name a burger after CHarles Stiles Mystery Diners, Jessica pays the money back, the staff is reprimanded, he hires a new actor and everything isfine. That guitar riff closes the door on this case.

And that was that, my god where to begin? First off one of the main issues with this episode, and this show in general, is the man himself: Charles Fucking Stiles. With any other show of this nature, the one thing that usually holds it together is a fun host. Say what you will about Guy Fieri, he is still entertaining to watch. He emotes and reacts is ways that are fun for the audience and can keep your attention for the full length of the show. Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners is none of these things. He cannot act. Which isn’t saying much considering no one in this how has any acting abilities (yes, even the hired actors suck.). But Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners is a special kind of bad acting: he’s bland as hell. There is little to no emotion in any line he says. It is always in the same tone of voice and the same inflection. This becomes really noticeable when you realize all of his dialogue is the same few lines with the name of the current restaurant stuck into them. It is quite similar to an rpg where every playthru the npc says the same thing; the only difference in thier dialogue would be that your name is changed. His facial expression is blank the entire show. One has to wonder why the camera even bothers cutting to him half of the time. It doesn’t matter if there is a brawl going on or  “hilarious” hijinks with the employees, his face will never change. Maybe a smile may peek through but it is pretty hard to tell.

As mentioned before, not only is our host about as engaging as a rock, the others in the show don’t do much better in the acting department. The restaraunt owners, employees, mystery diners and sometimes other players in the episode are all acting, that is obvious. The thing is, all of them either under act or over act. Take this episode, Action Burger, for example. It is obvious that Vlane was given lines to recite but his delivery is absolutely horrible, though that is not really his fault. He’s not an actor so of course he wouldn’t give a great performance. I think what makes it so bad is that it seems like none of the crew gave this man any direction. This is also an issue in many episodes. There are instances of Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners telling someone to look somewhere but both end up looking in two totally different places. At one point in the episode, Vlane says a line that I think is supposed to be for the audience to laugh at but Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners just looks at him, looks away, and then immediatly looks back at him as if he did a double take. In fact, i don’t think ANYONE is given much direction. Poor Vlane sometimes has no idea what reaction to give to some lines so he just stares blankly awaiting his cue for his turn to recite his memorized lines. Again, I believe this is mostly due to incompetence on the crew’s part. There is a scene where Gary argues with a customer about the best batman and the customer’s acting is so forced it’s unbelievable. The man seems like he’s sleepwalking through the scene. Some extras in the background have no idea what to do and where to go; alot of them either stand around or flail around. Though, I have read that most fo the people seen in the background aren’t actors but actual restaurant goers. I am not sure how true this information is, though. Either way, it’s bad. Jessica’s acting is...wow. It trully is something. At the end during the Confrontation, she tries to “tell off” everyone but it comes off as awkward and weird. She walks up to a customer who is ordering her food and talks over her to her son. It is the most awkward way to approach someone for a conversation not to mention just...confusing.

Here we see her talking right in front of the mother to the son. Why didn’t she just walk up to the son? And no, she was not right there and just struck up a conversation. SHe got up from across the restaurant and walked purposefully to that spot, and THEN started talking. And yes the mother is trying to order food while Jessica is talking to the son.

Here, she reaches over the mother to give the son a book. Who in the world shot this and thought it was fine, this is the most awkward thing to watch! First off she is FAR too close to the mother, who is a STRANGER that she doesn’t know. Second, she just reaches over her like that and the mother doesn’t react at all! She also continues talking while the mother is trying to order. I know this is meant to be “reality” but scenes like this show just how little direction these actors were given. It’s so clunky and awkward it becomes hard to watch. It’s embarrassing. This is not an isolated thing, many episodes have bad actor placements like this. People just don’t know where to stand or what to do with their bodies, giving scenes very boxed in feeling or a cramped feeling. It’s weird and awkward and thoroughly unpleasant to sit through at times!

While this episode wasn’t a big offender of it, the sound mixing in this show can be passable to laughable. At times it’s obvious that lines are added in or dubbed over in post. Sometimes, with his back turned, Charles Stiles of Mystery Diners’ disembodied voice is heard, even though it is very obvious that he didn’t actualy say anything. He comments on things often time with no reaction from anyone almost as if he wasn’t….in the room! Plus, whenever a line is added in there is a noticeable change in audio quality. Once you pick up on it, it’s impossible NOT to notice. The editing can get a lil weird too, cutting to angles of the same scene that just loook….weird. This one is a bit harder to explain in words but just watch a few episodes. The camera cuts to something else obviously trying to not focus on something, but the thing we aren’t supposed to be focusing on is still in the shot, maybe a little off to the side! Which makes you want to focus on it MORE. Again, watch an episode and you will know what i mean.

There is sometimes this uncomfortable image of employees that this show often shows. It makes it seem like if an employee doesn’t absolutely love their job and everything it stands for, then they are bad and probably a crook. Many times a boss will jump to wanting to straight up fire an employee for making one negative remark. And it’s often these “negative” employees that end up being the criminal masterminds in charge of some intricate scam to con custmers and the boss out of money. It all seems a bit mean spirited towards workers. It’s like this weird sort of fear mongering for employers, “BE CAUTIOUS OF ANY EMPLOYEE THAT DOESN'T BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR YOUR COMPANY!” Maybe i’m over thinking it. I mean, i hve to be if i sat and wrote this, right?

[themurphyzone]

Secret Santa Ch 3

I can’t believe how random the last chapter turned out to be.

Ch 3: Zack

Zack could have easily bought Mort a bag of rocks and the guy enjoy it. But he was a lot more thoughtful than that. Maybe he wouldn’t go to the same lengths as Melissa was with her gift, but surely there was something he could buy that was better than a cheesy Christmas card with a candy cane taped inside.

“Mort, you keep forgetting to check your signs,” Bradley frowned, handing the math worksheet back.

Mort shrugged. “Not really. I know I’m a Libra.”

“I meant on the homework,” Bradley scoffed. “I could care less what zodiac your birthday falls under. That stuff isn’t even true.”

Mort never seemed to be affected by Bradley’s sour mood. At least, not outwardly. Besides Melissa, he was probably the only other person with the ability to hold a decent conversation with Bradley for an extended amount of time.

“Oh. Well, thanks. I was wondering why half of these problems had no solutions,” Mort said as erased his answers.

Bradley rolled his eyes, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. “It’s the stupid mistakes that net you a less than perfect score.”

He left the library, slamming the door behind him, much to the librarian’s disapproval.

“Wow,” Zack said. “Who spit in his milk?”

“Anyone would be upset if they were cursed with a bad hair day because Jupiter was in the third house,” Mort replied. He glanced up, licking his finger and sticking it in the air. “Do you feel that? Suddenly the atmosphere doesn’t seem as doom-and-gloomy as before.”

Unfortunately, Zack was not nearly as adept as reading the atmosphere.

Zack leaned over the large posterboard, carefully tracing over the title with a blue marker. Melissa reviewed her notes over Macbeth, highlighting certain lines in the book that she’d carefully picked out.

“This is torture,” Zack groaned. “How is anyone supposed to understand Shakespeare? There’s too many thees and thous and thys!”

Melissa recapped her highlighter, setting it aside. “Did you buy a copy with the modern translation next to the original text?”

“No, I checked mine out from the library,” Zack muttered.

“And there’s your problem,” Melissa replied. “But getting back on track, we’ll start with the hallucination of the dagger. What’s taking Milo so long with the snacks?”

Five minutes later, Milo came up with two large bags of chips and a pretzel bowl. He was covered in scratch marks from head to toe. “Sorry it took so long,” Milo said. “A squirrel got into our kitchen, and boy was it hungry. Good thing I always keep some pistachios nearby!”

“You didn’t miss much,” Melissa said. “Zack’s still copying the quotes. His handwriting is larger than mine.”

“Not nearly as neat though,” Zack said, moving on to the last quote. “And I was thinking of getting something like fortune telling for Mort. He has that weird thing about chakras and zodiacs.”

Milo glanced over what they had so far. “Can I do the drawings?” he asked.

Melissa tossed him the pencil. “Do it with pencil first. I want this to look good.”

“No problem!” Milo said, his tongue sticking out slightly as he worked on the rough sketch of a dagger dripping blood at the bottom. “Fortune telling, huh? Maybe I can do some fortune telling to give you an idea of what to get Mort!”

“You know how to tell someone’s fortune?” Zack asked.

Milo nodded. “My dad’s coworker’s sister’s friend’s barber’s cousin’s mother is a psychic! Dad took me to visit her once and she gave me a crystal ball so I can practice on my own!” He pulled a crystal ball and a bandana with hoop earrings attached out of his backpack.

“I guess a break couldn’t hurt,” Melissa said, moving the posterboard and snacks aside. She closed the blinds, which dimmed the light in the room.

Milo tied the bandana around his head, setting the crystal ball on a stand between the three of them. He lifted his hands, but was interrupted by a loud scream from downstairs.

Zack didn’t understand what this was supposed to accomplish.

“MILO!” Sara screamed, the door bursting open as she stumbled into the room. “Oh thank the gods of Yalkelvik, you have your fortune telling equipment out.”

“Hey, Sara! I was just about to help Zack decide on his Secret Santa gift to Mort!” Milo exclaimed. “What’s up?”

“You have to help me! It’s a crisis!” Sara begged.

“You don’t mind me helping her first, right?” Milo asked.

Zack waved him on. “Go right ahead. So what’s wrong?”

“Well, you know how the new Dr. Zone Funko Pops were released yesterday?” Sara chewed her lip nervously. “Neal was going to buy me one for Christmas but then Kris wanted me to go to the mall with her so we’re meeting up in two hours and we’re definitely heading to one of the small stores in the main area of the mall where they sell the Funko Pops and I have zero self-control so I’m probably gonna end up buying one-“ she took a deep breath “-and I don’t know which one Neal is going to buy me and I don’t wanna unwrap his gift and say ‘oh I already have this one’ and I just need to know ahead of time which one he’s buying so I know not to purchase it!”

“That does sound like a conundrum!” Milo hummed.

Zack leaned over to Melissa. “He understood all that? She lost me after Christmas.”

“Now gaze into the mists of...” Milo threw his arms out for dramatic emphasis. “…THE CRYSTAL BALL! MWAHAHAHA!”

Milo’s evil laugh was very unconvincing.

“Wait, no that’s the Saturday morning cartoon villain voice. Should I try again with the mystical fortune-teller voice?” Milo asked.

“Just help me decide,” Sara begged.

“Moment’s gone anyway. First, the spirits require something of value. They accept electronics,” Milo said.

Sara handed her cell phone over, and Milo hid it under the tablecloth. “Spirits, I ask you to reveal the Dr. Zone Funko Pop that Neal is planning to buy for Sara Murphy! I must ask all of you to scoot back. They like personal space.”

Sara and Melissa moved back. Zack leaned closer, trying to see what Milo was looking at, but Melissa yanked him away from the crystal ball. “It’s not like anything was there,” Zack said.

“The spirits have decided!” Milo exclaimed. “They’re sending their spooky spiritual waves into our world to link me with Neal!”

Neal appeared in the crystal ball, looking incredibly confused. “Wait, Milo? Where’s Sara? Nice hoops, by the way.”

“Thanks!” Milo exclaimed. “Sara-“ Sara made wild hand gestures. “Er-I wanted to know what Dr. Zone Funko Pop you’re buying her for Christmas so I don’t accidentally get her the same one.”

“Princess Shirazi,” Neal replied. “She kinda reminds me of Sara. You know, with how excited she gets when there’s something she’s really passionate about. Um, you aren’t going to mention that to her, right? Cause it’s kinda embarrassing when I say it out loud.”

Sara blushed, stifling her giggles with one hand.  

“By the way, Sara mentioned she was going to buy me one of the new figures that got released from Space Adventure. And I’m going to the mall in a few hours with Wally and I really need to know which one she’s getting me because Wally’s gonna pressure me into buying me one and I’ll give in like always so…yeah. I need some help,” Neal finished lamely.

Sara wrote a name on a piece of paper and passed it to Milo. Milo grinned. “That’s funny! My sister says she was going to the mall with Kris in a few hours too! What a coincidence! Oh, and she was planning to buy you the Lump Sharkboard figure.”

“Thanks so much,” Neal sighed. “I was worried for a second-wait, did you say she was going to the mall with Kris? Gotta run, I am totally not finding my trenchcoat from my last cosplay to go incognito so she doesn’t recognize me!”

“Bye!” Milo exclaimed.

“So the crystal ball actually worked?” Zack gasped.

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Gullible. He put Sara’s phone in the crystal ball. It was pretty obvious.” She reached inside the tablecloth and extracted the cell phone, giving it back to Sara.

“Sara?” Zack asked, waving his hand in front of her face.

“I’m going to put on oversized sunglasses and a floppy hat so he doesn’t recognize me,” Sara said as she hurried to her room.

Was this what teenage romance looked like? In that case, Zack decided he wanted to maintain his sanity for a while longer.

“They’re made for each other,” Melissa quipped.

“I know right!” Milo exclaimed. “Okay, Zack. Your turn now. Same procedure as before.”

Zack emptied his pockets, only finding a penny inside. He sheepishly offered it to Milo, who refused to take it.

“They have bad inflation in the spirit world,” he said as if that explained everything.

Starting tomorrow, Zack planned to refuse all offers to connect to spirits and psychics.

Zack took off his shoes instead, which Milo accepted. “So what do the spirits say about Mort?”

“Tarot cards,” Milo replied. “They say you need to give him tarot cards so they can tame his moles. I can’t tell if they mean the animal or the spots on skin though. Oh, wait a moment. Sorry, claim his soul. Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“How about I just get Mort an 8-ball instead?” Zack asked. “That’s probably a lot safer and soulsucking risk-free.”