#someone binding my work will always make me so emotional

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Coriolanus Snow x Reader 18+ - I'll Be Watching You

A/N: Hey everyone! This little piece is a filler while I work on Chapter 2 of Threads of Freedom (15th Hunger Games AU, Archer Brown x Fem!Reader) – which will be uploaded by the end of the week, I promise! Sorry for the wait and thank you for your patience. This is my first proper dark fic, so as far as I’m aware, this should be 18+ due to mature themes. I hope you all enjoy this little detour, and I’m excited to share more with you soon! Keep an eye out for Chapter 2 – it’s coming soon!

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Abuse (emotional, psychological, and possessive), Dark themes, Toxic relationships (I do not condone this), Non-consensual elements, Violence/Threat of violence, Manipulation, Mentions of sex, Coercion, Stalking and Jealousy let me know if I missed any!

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The night was loud, bustling with voices echoing through the makeshift walls of the Hob, the heart of black-market life in District 12. You'd been busy, making your rounds with the goods your family had sent you to sell, weaving in and out of the rickety stands that filled the dim space. The air was thick with smoke and the scent of stale bread and roasted game. It was the same every night, though tonight, something felt... different.

You felt it before you saw him—a prickling awareness at the back of your neck like someone’s eyes were boring right into you. Glancing up, you saw him standing across the room, the faint glow of a single bare bulb casting shadows over his face. A young peacekeeper, uniform pristine, with piercing blue eyes that didn’t waver when they met yours. Coriolanus Snow.

You’d heard whispers about him—the Capitol boy with ice in his veins who’d recently arrived to serve in District 12. He was unlike the other peacekeepers who draped themselves lazily over chairs or leaned casually against walls. No, Snow stood stiffly, as if he’d never let himself blend into his surroundings, as if he were above it all.

But tonight, he was focused on you.

After that night, Snow began appearing everywhere you went. At first, it was subtle—a figure lingering just far enough away to be nearly invisible but always there, always watching. In the crowded marketplace, in the quiet moments when you paused on your way home. Every time you dared to glance back, his eyes were waiting. He’d give a slight nod, a slow acknowledgment, a silent claim that grew stronger with each day.

Soon, it became impossible to ignore. Snow wasn’t simply watching; he was weaving himself into every part of your life, binding himself to you with an unspoken possessiveness. He knew which paths you took and where you liked to sit by the river, and he’d often appear there, casually positioned as if by chance, though you knew better. When you questioned him, he’d smile, a strange blend of amusement and arrogance in his eyes, as if he enjoyed toying with your sense of control, as if he wanted you to know that your life was no longer entirely your own.

One evening, when you were out trading goods, Snow approached you without warning, slipping into step beside you.

“I don’t like you coming here alone,” he murmured, his voice soft but laced with an edge. “Too many people who don’t have your best interests in mind.”

You tried to brush him off, saying you could handle yourself, but he scoffed, an unsettling smile spreading across his face.

“You don’t understand. You don’t have to be strong or careful. Not with me here.” His words were meant to reassure you, but they settled over you like a shadow, a cold reminder that his protection was not optional, that he would always be there whether you wanted him to be or not.

But he didn’t own you, nor did he control you. Taking a deep breath, you mustered your courage and offered him a polite smile, careful to keep your tone light.

“I appreciate the concern, Coriolanus,” you said, choosing your words delicately. “But I don’t need you looking out for me. I’m fine on my own.”

You could see the faint twitch of his jaw, and a slight narrowing of his eyes, but you ignored it, determined to stand your ground. Before he could reply, you turned on your heel, heading down the narrow path toward home without looking back.

The silence behind you was tense and heavy, but you walked briskly, half-expecting him to let it go. Yet something about the quiet felt wrong, and that prickle of unease crept up your spine once more. Suddenly, you heard him call your name—softly, but with an unmistakable edge.

“I don’t think you understand what I’m saying,” he said, his voice dangerously low. You could feel his footsteps behind you, and before you could quicken your pace, he was by your side again, his eyes dark and unreadable.

“Do you think this is a choice?” His voice was no longer smooth but sharp, each word edged with frustration.

“You don’t just get to walk away.” He reached out, his fingers grazing your arm, his grip tightening when you tried to pull away. “I’m here because you need me. I see the way people look at you, what they think they can take from you.” His gaze bore into yours, and you realised that his frustration ran deeper than anger—it was something primal, possessive, a hunger to control.

“Don’t make this difficult,” he murmured, the unsettling calm in his voice sending a chill through you.

Your pulse quickened as his grip tightened, firm enough to keep you there but not enough to hurt—yet. Snow’s expression shifted, the mask of calm giving way to something far darker. His eyes, usually so controlled, now blazed with a fierce possessiveness that was almost terrifying.

"You think you’re safe here?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper, yet laced with a quiet fury looking down at you as though you were stupid. "This place would swallow you whole if I let it. You have no idea what people are capable of."

His words hung in the air, and you felt a tremor of fear. “Maybe so,” you replied, voice steadier than you felt.

“But that’s my choice, not yours.” You forced yourself to meet his gaze, hoping he’d see the resolve in your eyes, but instead, he laughed softly—a hollow, unsettling sound.

“Your choice?” He echoed, his lips curling into a faint, mocking smile. “No. You don’t understand, do you?” He leaned in close, his breath warm against your cheek, and when he spoke, his voice was both a promise and a warning.

"I know everything about you. I know where you live, the way home, the people you talk to. I know your fears. I don’t just watch, I protect. And whether you like it or not, you’re mine.” He glowered down at you.

You tried to pull away, but his hand tightened, holding you in place as his gaze bore into you with an intensity that made it clear he would never let you go.

“I won’t let anyone else have you,” he continued, his voice low and unwavering, as if stating a fact rather than a threat.

“So stop pretending you can push me away, or ignore me. You belong to me, and I won’t have it any other way.” His grip finally loosened, but the weight of his words lingered, searing into your mind as he released you, his face unreadable.

You backed away, heart racing, aware that this was only the beginning of something that would bind you to him in ways you couldn’t yet understand.

The intensity in his stare held you captive, as though he was daring you to challenge him, to defy the claim he’d just laid upon you. For a brief moment, you thought about running, about putting as much distance as you could between yourself and the figure before you. But something told you he would follow—no matter how far you went, he would always find you.

“I don’t belong to anyone,” you managed, your voice barely above a whisper, defiant yet trembling.

His eyes narrowed, a flicker of something dark and dangerous crossing his face. He took a step closer, closing the distance you’d tried to create.

“You can lie to yourself all you want,” he murmured, each word deliberate, his tone unsettlingly calm. “But you’ll come to understand, in time. I don’t give up on the things I want.” His fingers brushed your cheek, lingering for just a second too long. “And I want you.”

The weight of his declaration settled over you like a shroud, suffocating, and you could feel the force of his obsession surrounding you, pressing in on all sides. His presence was inescapable, a shadow that clung to you, a constant reminder that no matter where you went, his eyes would always be watching, his influence always closing in. The cold, unsettling truth sank in: Snow wasn’t merely infatuated. He saw you as something that belonged to him, something he would protect fiercely—and control completely.

As he finally released you, his gaze softened, a twisted tenderness flickering there. “One day, you’ll see I’m right. I’m the only one who can keep you safe, who can truly understand you.”

His voice dropped to a whisper, his words chillingly soft. “One day, you’ll realise that’s exactly what you need. That I'm exactly what you need.”

Time had passed, and somehow, you found yourself bound to him in ways you never anticipated. His words, his presence, his very being had become woven into your life like an invasive vine, tightening its hold each day. He didn’t give you a choice; his insistence became an inevitability. He declared that he was what you needed, and his grip on your life became as unyielding as the iron-fisted peacekeepers he commanded. Somewhere along the way, resisting felt as exhausting as it did hopeless.

When he was gentle, his touch was light, his words tender as he whispered promises in the quiet moments between you. “No one will ever understand you like I do,” he’d murmur, his fingers tracing soft patterns on your arm.

“They don’t know you the way I do,” He'd say to you breathing down your neck lips grazing your skin when he had you pinned against a cold desolate concrete wall across from the Hob in the dark when he saw you chatting with another man from inside the hob his jealousy overriding his train of thought leading you to where you were at that moment.

Those words made you feel both cherished and trapped, his affection tinged with a possessiveness that stifled you, smothered you. But he saw this as devotion, a twisted loyalty that would bind you to him, even as he twisted your will to fit his.

Yet his moods shifted like shadows, sudden and dark. One wrong word, one misstep, and his gentle touch could turn cold, his smile fading into an unyielding glare.

“Where were you?” he would ask, his voice deceptively calm but his eyes burning with a simmering anger.

“You think you can just slip away whenever you want?” He’d take your wrist, just tight enough to remind you who held control, his grip softening only when he saw the hesitation in your gaze.

He’d pull you close, his voice a possessive whisper. “I won’t let you leave. Don’t even think about it. No one will ever protect you like I will.”

And still, there were moments when he was vulnerable—when his mask slipped, and you could see the frightened boy behind the stern peacekeeper, an illusion to the young boy he once was in the Capitol.

“I’ve lost too much already,” he confessed one night, his voice breaking the quiet of the room, low and strained after the passion that had consumed you both.

A sheen of sweat glistened across your bodies, the air thick with the aftermath of your shared breathless silence. The dim lantern flickered in the corner of your small home, casting a warm glow that only served to make his sharp features more prominent, his icy blue eyes brighter than you’d ever seen them as if the light revealed something deeper—something more fragile. His hand rested protectively over yours intertwining your hand with his, his other arm draped across your frame, tugging you closer as if he could fuse you into him, as though he needed your presence to solidify his reality.

"Don't make me lose you too," he repeated, his voice muffled as he pressed his forehead against yours. You could feel the tremor in his breath, the weight of his words sinking into your skin. The raw vulnerability that had bled through him during those moments of intimacy now lingered in the air, like an unspoken plea that both terrified and touched you. His lips, still warm from the kiss that had left you breathless, moved softly against your forehead as he whispered, "I've already lost so much. I can't bear to lose you too."

You lay there, caught between the storm of desire and the weight of his obsession, feeling the intensity of his emotions wrapped around you like a vice. He wasn’t just holding you physically; he was anchoring himself to you, weaving a web of control and love that was both suffocating and intoxicating.

Every touch felt like a claim, every whispered word a promise you weren't sure you could escape. But in the stillness of that moment, when his heart seemed to beat in time with yours, you wondered if there was a part of him that truly did love you, or if it was simply the fear of losing control over something—someone—he had come to see as his.

His eyes met yours in the low light, searching you, reading you, as though trying to gauge whether you felt the same hunger for him, the same need. You could see it then—the darkness in him that was more than just obsession. It was desperation. Desperation for your love, for your loyalty, for a future where you would never leave him. He was willing to give you everything, but it was clear that everything meant something far different to him than it did to you.

In his mind, you weren’t just a part of his world—you were the only thing worth holding onto, the one thing he could never lose. And in that moment, as the weight of his words settled over you, you realized that you were no longer just a passive observer in this dangerous dance between love and control. You were as bound to him as he was to you, and though you longed for freedom, you couldn't help but wonder if his love for you—his need for you—was something you could ever truly escape.

[ink-and-dagger]

oh no ao3 was down!

Thankfully I printed out DWM in a novel form so that I can read it whenever!!

(This is what happens when I become hyperfixated on something)

Also i used @spirits-lament ‘s artwork for chapter 5 of DWM for the cover :)

(The last image is a disclaimer page)

(Ignore my baby hands 😭)

SHUT UP NO FRIGGIN WAY

Idnebfisjgayrbndjfnfdjehwhdhe you have NO IDEA how much it means to me seeing my words in book format. Like AN ACTUAL BOOK??? THAT CAME OUT OF MY BRAIN??????

I’m very emosh about this I need a minute to process but thank you so so much for sharing it. I’m going to treasure these pictures forever 💜

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

I feel like you're the right person to talk to this about:

I wanna tie König down to the bed and spend all day kisses those ridiculous muscles while he shakes and moans and begs for more. Big teddy bear needs some lovin' before you ride him until he breaks

Honey, Honey

Pairing: König x reader

Content Warning: smut (18+), hints of m!sub to m!dom, hints of enemies to lovers, use of a knife to cut clothes, tying up, teasing, spanking, biting, established messy relationship, no use of y/n or mention of gender/race

This isn't exactly what you asked for, but also this is my house and I make the rules so... have this as a treat

-🍯-

“And how did you picture this working out for you, hm?” König crooned, eyes positively deadly over the honey sweet veneer of his smile. 

A little thrill of fear zipped through your belly, but you were resolute in ignoring it, unshaking as you chased off thoughts of abandoning your plan. Instead you straddled him and tested the tight bonds holding him in place, giving a little tug on each of the heavy ropes that held his hands in their strong red threads. You looked back at his squirming ankles for good measure too, satisfied when you could see he was powerless to do little else than writhe. He was all yours to do with as you pleased. 

“Well, exactly like this I suppose,” you shrugged. “I don’t think I have to worry about you getting your revenge anytime soon - not when I’m about to get sent away on a contract for three months after this. I’ll make sure to phone Horangi to come get you when I’m on the plane, of course. I’m nice like that.”

“How generous of you to plan to free me.”

“As fucked up as we are, I’d rather not have a poor maid find you.” 

“You don’t think I’d get myself out eventually?” he chuckled, tilting his chin at you. 

“Oh no, not out of these bindings. I learnt from the best after all,” you said with a wink. 

He rolled his eyes, damn well knowing he’d been the one to show you exactly how to tie someone else up like this. Clearly he’d never accounted for giving away his trade secrets to the enemy. However, he’d have to admit that he had started letting his guard down with you more and more recently. König always said that showing you his face was his ruin. 

That face. It looked at you now with a full palette with emotions, anger and admiration and lust all splattered onto the scarred and mottled exterior to create a picture straight out of your fantasies. His blue eyes were burning like oil on the surface of water and his lip curled at you, snarling in challenge. Tame me then.

You leant down, letting your eyelids droop with raw want and slipped your hands over his wide shoulders, admiring the bumpy flesh that so rarely got to receive such gentle caresses. Even that hint of affection seemed to have König’s face easing, the long scar on the side of his eye not seeming so stretched anymore. His conspicuous sigh of anticipation only confirmed it. 

A smile faintly burst onto your lips. Merely the idea of a kiss seemed to break his facade - how would he react when you delved further into your plans? You bit your lip at the thought then lowered your head, hovering your lips dangerously close to his. 

“Is all this just to tease me?” he whispered.

“Do you really think so little of me?”

“I don’t have to think anything,” he grunted. “You’re an infiltration expert for a reason, honey. You’re a professional tease.”

Honey. That’s what he called you ever since the first time he’d ever worked with you. It didn’t take long for him to reveal that it was short for Honey pot. When he bent you over a crappy hotel couch and chastised you for tempting him. 

“I'd only be teasing myself at this point, König. If you could see what I’m seeing right now, you’d know you’re in for a real treat,” you grinned.

His nostrils flared and you could feel his chest swelling up with his ragged breaths. He could probably feel your desire just the same, you thought, knowing exactly how worked up you were from the way you were sitting barenaked right on top of him.

You made sure to grind yourself into his body when you finally kissed him, letting him feel the full hot measure of how worked up you were. You’d done everything not to make a mess of yourself while you were tying him up, but now you were unashamed and even smiling into his mouth as you pulled him close and felt the tickle of his groan. 

His tongue worked its way over yours, perfectly warm and wet. You were happy granting him a little control while you threaded your hands into his hair. The gruff noises he made in the back of his throat were vibrating deep inside you. They were enough to send your senses into overdrive, almost enough for you to rip the ropes to shreds and let him have you. Though you remembered who was really in charge and smirked, drawing away from his mouth again and watching as his face fell. 

“Let me have you. Undo the ropes and we’ll forget about this stupid stunt of yours,” he said breathily, almost growling as he roved his eyes over your body. 

“What would be the fun in that?” you chastised, clicking your tongue at his arrogance. 

“You get my cock and I won’t have to waste time planning a way to make you pay.”

“But knowing that is fun for me, I need to have something to look forward to,” you grinned, soon lowering yourself again and bringing your lips to his ear. “And you know as well as I do, I’ll get to have your cock anyway unless you use our safeword…so?”

He shivered, his body trembling like a mountain in an earthquake. His throat was like the tumbling rocks. When you rose back up again you knew you had him beat, as much as he always liked to be in charge, it was undeniable that he was actually getting into this. He’d never admit it, but that didn’t matter. The twitching length underneath you told you everything you needed to know. 

“Do your worst, honey. I’ll get my revenge soon enough,” he huffed, lying back into the pillow in defeat. 

“That’s a good boy, König. I knew you’d see reason!”

“Don’t you dare,” he seethed.

“Don’t dare what?” you asked, getting to work kissing along the sensitive flesh of his thick neck. 

“I’m not anyone’s- don’t call me good boy,” he groaned, voice breaking just as you liked a featherlight stripe against his collarbone. 

So dramatic. You huffed out a warm breath against his goosebumped flesh and nuzzled along it, watching for every little twitch and withheld moan that dared show itself on his traitorous body. You knew for a fact his mind would be reeling from all the attention, but you didn’t care. Not as long as he wasn’t telling you to stop. 

“Ok, I won’t call you my good boy then…” you murmured, now focusing yourself at his left pec. “But don’t pretend like you aren’t shivering everytime I say it.”

He glared down at you, but it only made him look so much more stupid when he was tipping his head back right as you took his nipple into your mouth. You grazed it with your teeth and licked and sucked at it, revelling in the cacophony of little breaths that rushed out above you. Apparently it was too hard to admit he hated this anymore. 

It probably didn’t help that your hand had been roaming down between his navel and thighs for a little while now. If his whimper was any indication, you’d stroked the fight right out of him when you palmed his dick over his boxers. Those would have to go - they’d be off already if you hadn’t been afraid that he’d wake up before you could secure him. 

“You’re responding so well,” you praised, “Sure you’re not gonna want a repeat performance of this?”

“Oh honey, I’m gonna put a- ah-” he moaned, jerking as you played with his cock and slipped your hands over his balls at the same time. “Ah- fuck you.”

König was chuckling and moaning in equal measure, his body was a beautiful dichotomy of grunted protests and singing moans. You enjoyed getting to work him over, smiling like a born vixen as every movement drew out a new noise, filling the cheap hotel room with a lingering note of sex. It was a good thing neither of you had expensive tastes, you thought distantly, you’d have already been thrown out the night before and you’d have never have gotten to experience this.  

“You’re gonna do what exactly?” you asked, tilting your head as you looked down at the writhing mess below you.

König’s eyes opened hazily and he shook his head, grinding his hips up and seeking the pressure that he so obviously wanted.

“I’m going to put a collar around you and make sure you remember who’s in charge of who. I’m going to fuck you until your legs don’t work anymore and then I’ll scrape you off the floor and parade you in the street for everyone to see!”

“Really? You will?” you asked, watching on with glee when you took your hand away and drew out a disappointed low whine. “Is that a promise?” 

You leaned over and picked up one of your knives from the floor, curling your hand around the hilt tightly when you realised it was one of your own. The familiar weight felt right and when you readjusted yourself on top of him, you were happily able to drag the cold metal over the band of his underwear knowing for a fact that you wouldn’t hurt him with the angle you held it at. 

König went stiff as a board underneath you and glared at you again, teeth baring as he worked out what you meant to do to him. He looked wildly from your hands and to your face, eyes practically broadcasting his revenge plot from the dark depths of his blown out pupils. 

“Don’t even think about it,” he warned. “Just slide them down.”

“Or what?”

“I’ll make you regret it.”

“I hope so.”

The cotton fabric of his boxers was no match for your knife. It slashed through them in a few easy cuts, running through the material like butter, best of all not even grazing König’s already heavily scarred skin. You liked the drama of the knife, but you didn’t want to hurt him. 

Truth be told though, he was furious - he’d probably rather be hurt than have to bother to replace his underwear. If he were a cartoon character his ears would be steaming. However if the redness in his face was anything to go by, he was probably as close to it as he’d get, he certainly felt burning to the touch. He'd had every dignity taken from him now. Though still he didn’t say Austria, and so you didn’t stop.  

You tossed the knife onto the bedside table where it dropped with a thundering clatter and threw the black tatters of his boxers to the ground, revelling in the full straining length of his cock from underneath the shroud. It was enough to make you salivate. Your mouth filled and your heart thrummed in your chest, but still you held your composure and opted to ignore it for the moment. Instead returning to kissing around his body and only occasionally running your fingers gently over his dick and around the rough dark thatch of his pubic hair. 

“You’re a ah- fucking bitch,” he groaned, voice much higher pitched than you were used to.

His voice was ragged, he was getting pushed further and further toward madness. You’d been working him for only a few minutes, but clearly it was too much. He needed to feel your actual touch on him, a firm hand. He was desperate, voice all breathy even while he tried in vain to pretend like it wasn’t getting to him.

“Those. Aren’t. Very. Sweet words,” you murmured, taking a break through each to kiss his straining abs that were now far more visible through the fat of his tummy. 

“You’re supposed to be the sweet one, honey,” he sighed, arching again as you licked at the spot just underneath his navel. 

“I’m being rather sweet to you now, no? I could be fully taking advantage of this predicament you’re in and riding on top of you, taking whatever I want from you, but I’m choosing to use this as an opportunity to worship you instead,” you sighed, running your hands up and down his hairy thighs, gently scratching at him enough to have him clenching his teeth. 

“Worship? This isn’t worship - it’s torture. I want to feel you. I need you to give me more!”

Oh…he sounded hungry before, but now he was starving. There was an extra low growl in his voice and now it felt like the air was thick with the salt of him. His chest was working hard underneath you, heart palpitating while he cock bobbed in time, rutting against you and seeking every little sensation it could. 

You had to take pity on him. You had to give him more now. 

“Well you only had to ask for it,” you hummed, finally licking a stripe straight down the vein on the underside of his dick. 

He moaned out like a bull, the sound practically ricocheted off the walls. You giggled quietly to yourself and worked your tongue over him again, closing your eyes contentedly as you tuned into his deep siren’s call. 

You’d now moved down his body so that you could get better access to him, and now you took full advantage of his rock solid muscles, gently rutting yourself against his outstretched  leg while you licked at his shaft and balls. You delighted in every time his voice caught in his throat and his moans broke out like waves into the static of the room. 

You alternated between licking him and then breathing over the trails of saliva, taunting him when you reached his head,only giving him the gentlest of kitten licks there that would send him spasming and cursing. He wanted more and more, but you refused to give in right away. Teasing him was much too fun, and he was right, you were practically a professional at this. 

Eventually though, you couldn’t refuse him any longer and when you finally took him into your mouth, he hummed and relaxed so fully that it felt like he’d been paralysed beneath you. You were a venomous creature taking him in your mouth and he was your prey now, you thought, he was well and truly yours. 

At least that's what you had thought. 

You’d bobbed your head down only a few times, had just swallowed right down to his balls when you felt it. A hand working its way over your head and tightly locking you into place against the scratchy hairs at his base. It took you no time at all to realise your little plan had backfired. 

You’d been so focused on his cock that you hadn’t noticed he’d worked his hand free. You hadn’t heard the snicking of the knife as it had cut through the other binding. You hadn’t felt König’s upper half shifting until it was too late. Now the icy realisation was freezing your heart and sending your eyes watering. 

He was fully in control of you now, yanking you up and holding you fast against him while he cut his feet free and threw the knife over to the far side of the room. His arms locked around you and he twisted like a crocodile in a death roll, throwing you underneath him and locking himself over you, ready to mount you like the bitch he claimed you to be. 

“I wonder how hard I have to fuck you to make sure your legs can’t walk you onto that plane later, hm?” König sneered, breath hot as his voice acidly poured into your ears. “Lets see how long it takes for you to break.”

You yelped when he fastened his forearm around your throat and forced you both upward onto your knees, forcing you steady against him. You could still breathe fine, but nevertheless you fought him, trying to scrap back for control. It was useless. He hit your hands away without issue and still managed to get what he was looking for. Managing to lean over to the drawer and fetch the lube before he threw you uncaringly back into the mattress and repositioned his arm, constricting it around your middle instead. 

He spanked you a couple times, the jolt centering straight onto your crotch and reversing your roles straight away. Now you were the one turned into a whimpering little mess. You turned to him and begged him to be gentle, but he only offered you a crazed smile before shoving the lube bottle between his teeth and squeezing a generous amount onto his hand. 

“Gentle is for good little things that do as they’re told,” he growled, spitting the tube from his mouth. “Or those who use their safeword…so?”

He was mocking you now. The air hung dead between you, cold and unforgiving and sending you shivering under the weight of it. 

“Just as I thought,” he hissed. “You love it when I take control.” 

You sighed out in full defeat and looked down at the messy sheets, now resigned to your fate. You’d be little better than his fucktoy in only seconds. The realisation had you biting your lip, it sent your pulse roaring in both your chest and low in your body as you now anticipated, none too ashamedly, getting split in two. 

You gasped when he pressed his lubed up hand against you and began to rub at your entrance, coating it thickly with the cool liquid and working you up a little before pressing a finger in. Pumping it in and out to the rhythm of your dogged moans, twisting and stroking and not letting up for anything.

He spanked you every so often, alternating between preparing you and punishing you for what you put him through. Even while you protested and told him that you couldn’t come into a job covered in bruises, he didn’t care. He didn’t even deign to give your cries an answer. He just rocked you onto him, adding fingers and turning your ass into a tingling hot mess all while he kept his chest pushed into his back and held you tightly against his sweaty torso. 

“I- I that’s ah- I need”

“What? Are you finding it difficult to speak already? Imagine how difficult it’ll be once I’m inside you,” he taunted, nipping at the shell of your ear. “You want something, honey?”

You moaned out and bucked back against him, trying for a last ditch effort to get back on top, but he only laughed. There was no escape. The deep timbre of his chuckle worked through your back like nails, bringing home the fact that there wasn’t any way out of this beyond giving your safeword, and like hell did you want to do that. Not while every inch of your body was egging him on to continue. 

“I need it,” you whimpered, groaning deep when he massaged a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. “I need your cock, pleaseeee.”

“You need it, yeah? How bad? Tell me how bad you need me to fuck you,” König growled.

You could feel him in the depths of your body, could feel how deep your desire for him was rooted now. Your toes were curling, sweat was dripping from your brow with the effort it took just to stay in the moment. Everything felt so impossibly hot. It took every effort not to pant like a dog, show him you might become a complete animal in the face of his teasing and his ministrations. 

“Please, please, please, König!” you cried out. “Let me cum for you, I wanna make you feel good. I wanna clench around you. Let me feel you, I need it. I want you to fucking crush me, put your whole body over mine, please I need-”

He cut you off completely when he ploughed into you. Your words straggling away into nothingness. His hips clashed into your body and he jerked backwards just as he entered halfway, conscious of the fact that even with preparation he was still fucking huge. Though it didn’t stop him complying with your request, bending you harshly down into the mattress, almost squashing you in his effort to envelop you completely.

“Little brat, this is what you wanted all along. Well then…take it…take it all.”

Your arms and legs were folded underneath you now, just as useless as König’s had been when they were tied up. You had nowhere to go. Not that you wanted to go anywhere. König continued to work his way into your aching body, stretching you out and drawing the most salacious noises from your lips like a violin bow, stroking back and forth in perfect crescendoing song.

He wrapped a hand around your neck and kept his other arm around you, holding you tight and fucking into you like two animals in full heat. He knew just what you liked. Even while you tried to keep up the pretence of a struggle, scrabbling away at the wet sheets, you both knew that this was what you craved.

“There you go,” he said, ramming into you with his full length, voice straining even through his smugness. “Not so superior now that you’re all filled with cock, hm? You’re moaning like a little whore… my little whore. How’re you going to cope when I’m away, hm? You gonna touch yourself every night thinking about this? Maybe I should film you, make sure you have a reminder of your place.”

Your whole body tensed and you felt a growl of disapproval work itself from your throat. Even in your compromised position, even filled up to a point where you could feel your whole body coursing with need, you weren’t letting him get away with that.

You twisted your neck and bit his arm, not bothering to voice your protests. Your teeth sunk into flesh and released a pained grunt from him, but you were only rewarded with a particularly hard thrust for your efforts. It had you screaming underneath him, forcing him to reposition his hand from your neck and over your mouth. 

“I’ll have to get a gag for you if you’re going to start biting,” he hissed, only releasing your mouth when you forced his hand away.

“Don’t threaten…me with a good time,” you laughed, smiling all the more when you heard him laughing too. 

“Fucking hell,” he sighed.

He gave up holding you down and rose up like a bear, grasping your hips tightly with his roughened fingers before he really lost himself in you. He built up the fire within you until it was roaring, each slap of his body against yours sending you juddering forward and moaning out as his cock drew out brilliant sparks.

“Fuck, honey. You look so good like this… Look so good fighting to stay up. You’re my little plaything yeah? You��re mine to tease and fuck as I wish. Mine.”

Your vision was starting to white out, your head was growing fuzzy. The beat of your heart felt like it was building faster and faster and every little muscle in your body clenched at the impending orgasm that rocked through you. With only a few more thrusts you were spent, tearing at the sheets and lost in the pleasure, feeling positively drunk as your head swam with endorphins. 

You screamed out and let your body fall completely to König, allowing him to gather your jelly muscles up and quickly reposition you in his lap. Your nails dug into his back, your head fell into the crook of his neck. You whimpered when he slipped back into you again, shaking as the aftershocks of your orgasm punched through you all the harder. 

“Too much,” you whined, “too sensitive.”

“Come on now, honey. You’re not nearly there yet,” König murmured, kissing your temple. “Not till you say the safeword or till I say you’re done, alright?”

He repositioned himself and you dug your nails into the meat of his back, completely failing to discourage him from rocking you against his cock. You felt like you were going to cum again just from the jostling movements alone. The realisation had you moaning so pathetically. 

“C’mon, honey, I know you can keep going for me, can’t you? I know you can,” he encouraged, already starting to slowly thrust in and out of you again. “I’m only just getting started…” 

[nocturnowlette]

Aren't you worried about forming a cult of personality?

Group hypnotherapy, mediated especially by a single individual, seems to encourage that kinda parasocial following.

Mix that with personalised sessions with multiple people, possibly seen as lovebombing. Elevating your audience to the idea that they're a mutual, when they're not even close to your personal life.

Why not just point to a larger, more professional hypnotherapy server? Such could guide the individual to somebody that may be better equipped for them personally, and constructive yet critical peers for yourself and other hypnotists.

It could offer other methods (including non-hypnotherapy ) that could guide individuals to heal faster.

Imo, it's a lot healthier when attention is spread out mutually, and treatment exposure is not at the whim of a subjective personality.

And if just a group, not primarily about hypnosis and more about your explorations of it, then you should post that kinda stuff to your channel instead so the video can receive feedback from hypnotherapists, and it'll be able to be seen by everybody, not just the people in your server, and you can just do puppy stuff there. As long as it's all safe and doesn't form unhealthy bonds that prioritise escapism over wellbeing.

You seem confused on what this server is.

Firstly, it's not hypnotherapy at all; it's a recreational hypnosis server. I, in fact, actively discourage anyone who is not a professional therapist (let alone hypnotherapist) from attempting to serve that role to someone else. Many hypnotists who just start out see conditioning as a hammer and every emotional problem as a nail, and I shut that down immediately.

You also seem to heavily overestimate my role as the server leader. If we were to quantify activity of hypnotists in the server, I likely would not even be in the top 5. I've largely lost my interest in regular hypnosis sessions for the last few months and serve mostly as the teacher and guide, as well as just the administrative server owner.

This server is not even about hypnosis so much as it is a community server that has hypnosis as a binding topic. If I were to give a topical split of how much it's talked about versus everything else, I'd say that it composes less than 10% of all discussion in the server. Therian/puppy stuff takes up slightly more than that, maybe 20 to 25%, then the rest of the server is nerds talking about their interests and having fun.

Any emotional progress made in the server is consequential and due to the place letting people feel safe to be themselves. Such a thing does seem to help folks quite a lot, but no active therapy is being done, and we encourage folks to actually seek therapy among other things.

My role as the server owner is largely due to necessity. I've always found myself at a lack of communities that actually suit me, so I've always had to make them myself. I quite dislike being the leader and much like with hypnosis, I actually prefer being on the lack-of-power end and not the super-in-power one. I'm a subject far more than a hypnotist.

I'm selective about who joins because every single server member to have caused issues and then left joined the first day of the server before there was a member cutoff. This place simply won't work for the majority of people, and the people who are let in are ones that would benefit from it.

On to the other topic, I trust therapists who know some hypnosis, not hypnotherapists. Hypnotherapy has been infected by quacks who know next to nothing and is, by almost every measure, a community destroyed by scientific mysticism. It is maybe the worst representation of hypnosis in our world and at best is hardly helpful, while at worst is actively destructive.

Every hypnotherapist I've met has been woefully knowledge-less on the actual functions of hypnosis and how it works, and seems to only know how to do the specific things they're taught. It's the difference between memorization and understanding. They were chewed up and spit out by the pseudoscience factory and think they know anything.

I have no intentions to ever be a hypnotherapist because it is not even close to the best method of processing any emotions whatsoever. I like hypnosis as a hobby, a way to have fun with people. If you want something similar that is more helpful, look into Gestalt therapy.

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-fifteen

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: it so mf late and I have to work tomorrow. so y'all better enjoy my loves!

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken

READER

My heart hammered in my chest as I took the next right, the familiar neighborhood coming into view. I peered to my right, making sure the gift basket was still buckled in place, and the excitement of seeing him again made my stomach flutter. My flight landed less than an hour ago but instead of going straight up, I loaded up my car with all of my bags and came straight to his house. The talk with my father was still loud in my mind.

My father and I had a long talk yesterday. He could sense something was causing my inner plagues. He caught on quickly; he knew the slightest changes in my demeanor.

Oie vie, that sounds familiar.

We discussed everything that happened, from top to bottom; even the veil of intimacy- I was modest, using a simple statement of course, this was my dad. But, I couldn’t lie to him- he put his hand on my shoulder and said.

“I’m sure you think that I don’t understand what you’re going through, but I do. It’s just that sometimes, our future is dictated by what we are in our most current state, as opposed to what we want and actually need.”

We talked more after that; it was opening the curtain that was in front of my eyes. The curtain of Noah and I- the one I only peeked through this whole time. The curtain needs to open.

“What are you going to do?” He asked, pulling back from a gracious hug. We were standing in the large airport, my flight minutes away from being called.

There was a long pause as I mewled the words over my tongue.

“I don’t know,” I finally answered.

We stood together for another minute, just holding each other.

“Follow your heart, Y/N. Break the chains that bind you.” My dad held my face with both of his hands and I could see his eyes glisten.

Was he emotional? I couldn’t be sure.

We hugged again, and I laughed. “Who knew you were a poet with words like that.”

He mocks gasped. “Where the hell do you think you get from?”

“True.”

Less than a block away, my phone buzzed and as I pulled up to the stop sign, I glanced down at the new message.

Chase: sweets, we need to talk to you. Call us when you can.

My heart dropped a little, worry filling me, but I didn’t want whatever he had to talk about ruining my plans so while still stopped, I quickly typed a reply.

ME: I have pretty shitty service where I’m at. What’s up?

As I drove again, my heart began beating loudly in my chest as his house came into view, his car sitting in the driveway.

He’s home.

Pulling to a slow, I reached for my phone ready to text him but the new message from Chase gave me immediate pause; my stomach dropping straight down to the pits of my stomach.

Chase: Noah went out on a date. He’s seeing someone.

My car idled in the middle of the road as I read the message repeatedly, the words like a dagger through my chest.

No, it can’t be true. Maybe it was a mistake, a misunderstanding.

Chase: sweets??

A loud horn jarred me from my froze state and with a choked sob, I pulled over the car to the side of the road, two houses down from his.

Tears burned in the corners of my eyes but they didn’t fall. My fingers hovered over his contact, debating whether I should call him. Maybe if I told him I was coming to see him, he would explain everything.

“Coming up next on Octane,” the loud voice from the speakers made me jump, heart still beating hard in my chest as my teary eyes stared at the radio on the dashboard. “A brand new single by Virginia native band Bad Omens. Here is Nowhere To Go.”

Fuck, I almost forgot about their new song.

“Why's this always gotta happen to me? I should have known. I never fail to never learn from mistakes, still throwing stones. Blood signed we made it a pact. Yours dried out, you took it back.”

I choked on a sob as Noah’s words dug the knife deeper into my chest. Tears still pooling in my eyes but not yet falling.

“Hear me out, I'm sorry, but I'm a little less than sold. I've been around, heard all the stories you said you never told. You're used to speaking in tongues to feel like you're in control. Now you've got nowhere to run, now you've got nowhere to go.”

The emotion in Noah’s voice made me rest my head against the cool window, letting it ease away the burning warmth that spread through my skin.

“Tell me what's mine and tell me what's yours. Why I never got a say, never got a choice? Tell me what's mine and tell me what's yours. Why I never got a say, never got a choice? Tell me what's mine and tell me what's yours. Why I never got a say, never got a choice? Tell me what's mine and tell me what's yours And why I never ever got a fucking say? Oh.”

Now the tears fell freely into my lap as my body shook with sobs, it falling silent against Noah’s strong voice, his emotion, hurt, and anger blasting through the speakers.

“Are you ready? I'm in the driver's seat now. Oh, oh.”

“Mother fucker,” I cursed myself through sobs as I smacked the steering wheel not once, not twice, but three times.

I never meant to not give him a say, I never meant to not allow him a chance, it was never the intention to blindside him; it was a shield, a mask I wore the night I left that hotel room, and clearly; one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Noah was right, I had nowhere to go. As I sat in the driver's seat, grieving over the consequences of my fearful and irrational actions, the song ended, and I sat in silence. I heard the air conditioner hum, the humming almost hid the sound of my beating and broken heart.

You did this, stupid girl.

While driving over to Noah’s, I didn’t know the outcome of what would happen as I practiced what I planned on telling him. But now, as the tears and makeup dried to my face, I knew only one thing; I fucking love Noah, and I waited too long.

Chase: Y/N, please let me know you’re okay.

With shaky hands, I clicked on Malcolm’s contact name, the ringing of the phone echoing throughout my small car.

“Buttercup, where are you?”

At hearing the sheer panic in his voice as he rushed out the words, I broke down in sobs yet again.

“I fucked up, guys,” I cried.

“No, sweets. You didn’t.” Chase sighed.

I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “Yes, I did! Did you not hear their song? He’s seeing someone else!”

“Why are you there, Y/N? It’s only going to hurt you,” Malcolm said.

Through blurry vision, I stared up at Noah’s house as a light upstairs turned off and I couldn't help but wonder if that was his bedroom.

“I-I don’t know. I just thought that maybe,” the words came out in a jumbled mess and I did my best to compose myself with a deep breath.

“Come home, sweets. We miss you. We can sit on the couch in front of the fire and you can tell us about how the rest of your trip went. Salem misses you, he hasn’t stopped meowing at your door.” Chase suggested.

I peered over to the gift basket on my right. It was filled with a variety of gifts I brought back for Noah with a handwritten note taped to the front; one that will go unread now.

“Okay,” I said, defeated. “I’ll be there soon.”

After hanging up with them, I let out a few shaky breaths to compose myself as I stared at myself in the mirror, wiping away the tears.

Get your shit together.

With a longing glance toward Noah's house, I quickly typed out a message to the Hollow Omens group chat before pulling a U-turn and heading back home.

Me: The new song is amazing! I’m proud of you guys! Can’t wait to hear what else you have up your sleeves.

JOLLY

As I ascended the stairs, phone in my hand, I read the thread in the Hollow Omens group chat.

Malcolm: We’re throwing a welcome back bitch party at our place Friday night for Y/N. All you have to bring is yourselves. We’ll provide everything else.

Y/N: no, no party. Please.

Chase: too bad. It’s already been decided.

Folio: fuck yea, we’ll be there! Nick and I are flying in Thursday night.

Me: We missed you, Y/N. Can’t wait to hear all about your trip.

As I was passing by Noah’s shut door, his text popped up in the chat. He returned home from hanging out with Bailey a little while ago and immediately held up in his room.

Noah: bringing my date, that cool?

Y/N: 🆒

I ran a hand over my face at how stupid Noah was being. It was one thing to ask Malcolm or Chase separately, but asking in the group chat where he knew Y/N could see was a new low. Orie was passing by the hallway so I pulled him to a stop, filling him in on what happened.

“He’s a fucking idiot,” he shook his head

Still, in front of his door, I went to knock on the door but I froze; soft music playing through the wood.

“Is he listening to Cher again?” Orie wondered with pulled brows.

“He loves Cher,” I reminded him.

“Noah is playing back time on again.”

My head snapped towards Orie to correct him. “That's TURN BACK TIME. That’s the title.”

“Oh excuse me,” he held up his hands.

“You’re lucky I was the one to correct you and not him. Noah is serious about Cher.” I snorted before knocking on the door.

The music stopped. “Come in.”

Noah spun around in his computer chair and nodded towards us. “What’s up?”

“Have you lost your mind?” Orie asked.

“What are you talking about?” Noah shook his head, confused.

“How do you go from dumb to dumber this fast?”

Now he looked towards me. “Excuse me?”

“You could have texted Chase or Malcolm to ask about bringing a date. But in the group chat where Y/N could see, why the fuck would you do that?” I questioned.

“Why not?” Noah shrugged nonchalantly.

He’s your brother. You can’t hit him.

“I don’t know if you’re trying to make her jealous or what, but if this blows up in your face,” Orie shook his head while leaning against the wall.

“It won’t, like I told you guys before, I need to at least attempt to move on,” Noah turned back towards his computer, loading up Twitch.

“Okay but, I don’t think-,” I started.

“Let it go,” Noah spoke over his shoulder, not bothering to glance my way.

“This isn’t an attempt to move on. You’re doing this on purpose and it’s messy, Noah.” I examined.

“Dude- don’t, I don’t need a lecture. It’s just casual. Bailey and I are just hanging out-that’s it,” he explained before motioning towards his door. “Can you close the door behind you?”

With a long breath, Orie and I shared a look before retreating out of his room.

READER

The sudden commotion coming from down the hall gave me pause as I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering if it was worth walking through my door to socialize. I compiled a list of excuses to use to get out of this little welcome-back party tonight but every single one Chase and Malcolm saw right through.

“My painting class ran late. I might not make it.”

Malcolm was there at 6:30 to pick me up; right on time.

“I’m on my period and the pain is terrible.”

Chase snickered. “You had your period last week.”

“Salem isn’t feeling well, I should take him to the vet.”

As Salem was doing his usual evening zoomies around the house as he played with one of his many toys that littered the floor throughout the house.

In the end, my excuses did nothing to keep me from this party tonight so much to my dismay, I forced a fake smile on my face. It wasn’t going to be easy tonight knowing that not only would Noah be here, me seeing him for the first time in almost two weeks, but also knowing he wasn’t alone.

He brought a date.

Good for him, I told myself. He deserves to be happy.

But you wanted it to be with you.

Forcing the thought to the far depths of my mind, I took a deep breath to steady myself then left my room to follow the commotion of the noise.

Holy shit.

The living room was packed with more people than I expected, music playing in the background. Besides Chase, Malcolm, Byran, Matt, and the guys of Bad Omens, there were a few unfamiliar faces.

“What happened to a small party?” I teased Malcolm as I took a cup from him and took a small sip, the alcohol burning down my throat. “Oh, shit. What the fuck is this?”

The liquorice-tasting booze lingered on my tongue long after.

“Ouzo. Brought by Jesse Cash,” Malcolm nodded behind me.

My eyes widened as I turned around, eyes immediately connected with the guitarist and clean vocalist of Erra. My heart beat faster, my inner fangirl trying hard not to break free. I’d been a fan of theirs for years.

“Holy shit,” I stammered. “I’m not shitting on your alcohol choice. It’s great.”

Jesse smiled. “I hear you’re big into Greek mythology and thought it would fit to bring a popular Greek drink.”

I raised my cup to him in thanks before taking another small sip, this time the burning eased its way down my throat.

“So, you live with Noah and Jolly?” I asked Jesse.

“Yeah with Michael and Orie,” he answered just as two other unfamiliar faces appeared on either side of him.

I recognized Orie’s name as the one who directs their music videos the other I wasn’t completely familiar with. As we exchanged hello’s, Michael informed me he’d been a friend of Noah’s for a while and was in another band. After a while when Jolly and Nick joined the group, I began telling them about my trip to Japan until I felt a burning gaze to the side of my head.

My heart broke at the sight in front of me.

Noah was leaning against the wall, a small brunette standing up against his chest as her fingers played with the beads of his rosary, twirling it in her fingers. Whatever she was trying to talk to Noah fell on deaf ears as he bore his eyes straight down to his feet. Almost as if he knew I was watching, Noah gazed up towards me and when our eyes locked, he gently pried the rosary out of his date's hands, pushing her away slightly.

I coughed, embarrassed for being caught staring, and turned towards the couch sitting next to Chase.

“Are you okay?” He asked, ice-colored eyes peering over his cup towards Noah.

“She seems nice,” I spoke low while messing with a loose strand on the ripped part of my jeans.

Chase hummed low in his chest. “She’s practically throwing herself on him in front of everyone. It’s weird.”

Playfully, I smacked his chest then finished my drink with a wince, setting the empty cup on the table in front of me just as Michael sat on the other side of me.

“So, Hollow Souls in your band?”

I nodded with a small smile. “Yeah; me, Chase, and Malcolm.”

“I listened to your first two albums but can I say how excited I am for your new stuff,” Michael leaned against the couch, resting his arm across the back of it.

“We are too. There’s a new way we want to go, musically and lyrically, that’s going to differ from how we used to be.”

We continued to chat for a long while, Chase jumping in every once in a while, until someone sat on the couch across from me, his long legs stretching out to brush against my calf. Noah gave me a small smile.

“Hi,” he said.

I forced my best smile, ignoring the girl who sat next to him with her hand on his thigh.

“Hey.”

“You look good,” Noah nodded towards me. “Have a good trip?”

“Yeah. I love my dad and had a lot of fun but I was ready to come home.”

Noah's eyes glinted. “Missed us?”

I shrugged while crossing my legs over at the ankles as I leaned back against Chase. “I missed Chase terribly. I don’t know how I went on without him after he left.”

A rouse of laughter echoed throughout the living room but the girl next to Noah watched with curious eyes.

“Hi, I’m Bailey,” She sat forward while extending her hand towards me. “It’s lovely to finally meet you. I’m a huge fan. ”

Noah and my intense gaze never broke until the hand shook in front of me again, almost reminding me to shake it. Breaking away reluctantly, I smiled at Bailey.

“Oh, hi. Nice to meet you as well,” I carefully shook her hand.

The burning gaze drilled into me as I let go of Bailey’s hand, subconsciously rubbing my palm on my thigh. Noah watched the two of us with intense eyes, darting back and forth with such speed.

“This guy talks a lot about you,” Bailey squeezed Noah’s thigh, making him stiffen.

I cleared my throat, blood draining from my face. “H-he does?”

She nodded with a smile. “Noah is a huge fan of Hollow Souls. I saw you guys on this last tour and needless to say, I was jealous that I couldn’t see him fill in with you guys those last few nights. I bet it was amazing performing together, having Noah’s great vocals with you. I mean, not saying yours are bad. But Trey’s always overshadowed it with his lyrics.”

My shoulders went rigid for two reasons; Trey and his lyrics.

Chase clicked his tongue before drowning down the rest of his drink. Malcolm, who stood behind the couch, reached over and squeezed my shoulder, knowing how deep I was about to go with this conversation.

“I write all the lyrics for Hollow Souls,” I informed Bailey.

Her eyes widened, still not removing her hand from Noah’s thigh. “I didn’t-. I read things online that said it was all Trey.”

I bit my lip, knowing that it wasn't her fault and she shouldn’t face my wrath. But it could have been because Trey was still such a sore subject for me or the fact that her hand was now grazing up and down on Noah’s thigh. Dr. Poulos told me I was running, and even Noah told me subliminally I was running. They were right and now look where it got me. Me, staring at another woman touching what was rightfully mine.

It didn’t work because the words slipped through my lips before I could stop them.

“Do you believe everything you read online?” I raised a teasing brow.

The tension in the room was thick, something everyone but this poor girl picked up on.

“No. I’m really sorry if I offended you, Y/N. It wasn’t my intention. I’ve just been a fan for years and always thought Trey wrote the songs,” Bailey said.

My jaw clenched but before I could retort, my phone rang, silencing all my words.

“Hello?” I sighed into it.

“Hi dear. Why so somber?”

My face broke out in a large smile at hearing my dad's voice. “Hi, dad. How are you?”

“Good, just got back from a run and wanted to check in.”

Malcolm smacked my shoulder. “Put it on speaker. I want to say hi.”

Rolling my eyes, I clicked the speaker button. “Dad, Malcolm wants to say hi.”

As the two of them talked, I dared a glance over to Noah and Bailey, and my stomach drop at the sigh; they were having their own deep conversation, her hand still resting against his thigh. Blinking away the tears that stung, I let out a shaky breath as my dad’s voice caught my attention.

“Dear, how did things go with what’s his name? Did you tell him the truth? Oh fuck, I can’t remember his name. OH! No-?”

Quickly taking the call off the speaker, I jumped from the couch and darted into the kitchen.

NOAH

Everyone tensed as Y/N scurried out of the room with her phone pressed to her ear. Even though Bailey was rambling my ear off about some topic I wasn’t paying attention too, I missed why Y/N abruptly left the room.

“Where’s she going?” I nodded toward the spot where Y/N previously sat.

Nick cleared his throat. “Her dad was calling to check in.”

“Why are you just sitting and zoning out then?” Bailey giggled. “What’s with the tension?” 

Jolly shook his head with a smile. “There’s no tension. We’re all trying to figure out what song to listen to. Any requests?”

Something wasn’t adding up so after excusing myself to grab another drink, Bailey’s hand finally detached from my thigh. As I walked into the kitchen, I noticed Y/N was leaning against the counter, back to me and phone pressed to her ears. Her eyes were pinched closed by her fingers.

“No Dad, just leave it alone…. She seems nice, I can’t do that to him, it was a silly thing to even consider.” 

My brows furrowed as my heart beat rapidly in my chest, wondering who she was talking about. I shouldn't eavesdrop, the gods know how much I hate that shit, but I couldn’t move. My feet were frozen in place as I stuffed my hands deep into my pockets.

“Look it’s not worth it now. I waited too long.”

Waited too long? For what?

Y/N talked for another minute then hung up with a sad sigh, slowly turning around with a shocked expression as she noticed me standing there.

“Noah! Hey! How long have you been standing there?” She shifted on her feet.

“Just walked by,” I lied. “I needed another beer. Everything alright with your dad?”

“Oh yeah, totally.”

We stood there in an awkward silence; something that wasn’t common between us.

“What’s that?” I wondered while pointing behind her.

Y/N raised a brow as she peered over her shoulder to the dining room and let out a small chuckle; my heart coming to life at the sound.

“Chase’s fish tank. The thing is fucking huge and why does it need to be seen through, I don’t know. But it’s his hobby and I’m not one to make fun of someone's hobby,” she said while walking over to the large fish tank.

It was one of those that you could look through and see whatever or whoever was standing onto the other side. A variety of colors, sizes, and kinds of fish swam slowly back and forth. In the awkward silence, I stared at the mustache of the catfish my eyes gliding over the tank, looking at it instead of her. Peering back at me was a pair of the most exquisitely beautiful pair of eyes.

Those angelic eyes. I accidentally pushed my face closer to the glass, she chuckled a little. We were still silent, not sure what to say exactly. She was ethereal, truly, on the other side of the tank. We now realize it was just the two of us at this moment. It was then that I noticed the large basket on the table behind her; a piece of paper with my name tapped to the front.

“Is that for me?” I asked while standing straight.

Y/N followed my gaze, staring at the basket for a long moment before snatching the paper off of it.

“Yea. Just a few things you wanted me to bring back for you.”

Her eyes never met mind as she fiddled with the paper between her fingers. I never got the chance to ask what was so important about that flimsy paper because Bailey’s voice called out for me.

“Noah! Can you grab me a beer on your way back?”

JESSE

I had to admit, privately in the corners of myself of course- Y/N was absolutely stunning. Even I couldn’t deny that. The first few minutes of speaking with her, she definitely had an allure. I could see why Noah was so captivated at first.

But to say I was perplexed was an understatement.

I knew my friend; I knew his little quirks, habits, his way around words, and lack thereof. He knew how to get off scot easy. I observed Noah and Y/N, the awkward moments that only selected of us knew.

Fuck.

The elephant was only getting larger with one passing moment. I wanted to get up and start yelling “Cut the shit! You love each other!”

I hated this mess that was sitting on the left of me.

Noah’s actions were almost mirroring hers. It was painful to watch. The twitching, the shifting of eyes, the touching of hair. Noah’s hair was so long- he would touch the strands and twirl it and when she laughed too hard with Michael, I almost thought Noah was going to rip out a strand.

A few other things I noticed? Bailey filled up her drink twice. Y/n watched her like a hawk, and Noah watched her watch Bailey.

What a fucking hellhound of a night.

Bailey was a nice girl, but even I could see her head was too blown up into Noah land to realize she was a mere plot device, a way of distraction from the one across from her. Poor naïve thing.

Not being able to take it anymore I glanced at Noah intensely, taking off my glasses. He looked back; he knew what I was getting at. I shook my head, direction to the hallway “

We need to talk my eyes said.

Noah sighed before slipping away from Bailey, who was staring down at the contents of her drink, body swaying slightly. But when she noticed Noah was leaving, she grazed his back while he did. Noah froze for a moment before shrugged his shoulders, her touch falling from his back.

I quickly looked to Y/N and realized she was watching the two of them over the rim of her cup, usual bright eyes dulled from the alcohol and the sight of Noah with someone else. He never left her vision- even if she thought he did. And she was the same. That shrug was small, but it did its job.

Once out of earshot, I crossed my arm over my chest. “Noah-.”

“Jesse,” he cut me off with my name. “I can’t deal with any more bullshit lectures tonight. Seriously, I’m a grown man.”

“Are you?” I raised a brow while pointing back to the living room. “Because the shit is extremely uncomfortable for all of us. You’re acting like some teen throwing a toy around, waiting for a reaction.”

“That’s fucked up,” Noah’s eyes narrowed.

“Well, am I wrong?” I shot back.

He sighed and I could tell he was tired of it. He was tired of the constant telling him what to do, and what to say; from all of us, but he was so fucking stubborn. Noah had to have been one of the most intense friends I’ve ever encountered. I love him, but, this was even breaking me down mentally.

All I wanted was for my friend, and my new friend to wake the fuck up.

“Look dude,” I sighed while running a hand over my chin. “I won’t say anything. But this is just uncomfortable, please understand that?”

“I do, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m trying to test the waters. I’m sorry for dragging you all into this.”

I patted his shoulder. “We’re here for you man, we know what this is doing to you. We know Baley isn’t where your head’s at. But I have to ask; you already know about Y/N’s condition and why she walked away. What’s the point of this?”

Noah rested his hands on his hips as he stared down at his feet before lifting to meet my gaze. “She won’t talk to me. I mean Y/N talks to me- but she won’t let me in. She doesn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. And that fucking hurts, Jesse.”

“This isn’t it brother, come on, you’re better than this,” I tried to reason.

“Am I?”

My shoulders fell at the Scorpio's stubbornness. “Yeah, you are and Y/N knows that. She’s distraught out there, Noah.”

“I just need her to tell me herself,” Noah opened his arms wide to the side before they fell, slapping his thighs. The sound bounced off the walls of the hallway. “I need her to need me.”

With a deep sigh, I eventually nodded before wrapping an arm around his shoulder, leading us back into the living room where Noah’s eyes immediately caught Michael and Y/N standing far off in the corner of the room, talking amongst themselves.

It was about to be a fucking zoo soon.

NOAH

I stared at the floor, my shoes, and anywhere that was avoidant to her gaze. I was avoidant of the woman in front of me. She was throwing herself at me, that much I could tell. Angel looked so beautiful, it’s all I could think of. Her beauty was unparalleled, it couldn’t be outshined by anyone.

She was glowing; the trip did wonders for her, and I was happy to see it. I wasn't, however, happy with the situation I was in, Bailey on my left- that was one thing. Michael was telling Y/N a joke, something about Japanese mice, I couldn’t fucking tell.

I was counting to 10, something my therapist, Dr. Poulos suggested I do when I find myself in situations I can't control.

“I don’t see what’s so funny,” I grumbled into the rim of my beer bottle.

“I didn’t say anything funny,” Bailey answered.

A low noise rumbled in my chest as I continued to watch Michael and Y/N. I wasn’t worried about Michael- so why my jaw clenched and my tongue kept moving I wasn’t sure.

No, I fucking knew. I wanted to stand across from her, encasing around her space. I wanted to be the one who told Y/N jokes.

I began twisting my hair with my fingers-a strand was sure to snap off if it didn’t already.

Michael chuckled while glancing at me, noticing my twisted expression. My beer was tight in my hands, I kept fiddling with the paper on the bottle; a distraction is what I kept running into- always a fucking distraction.

Michael lifted his arm to cough into it, a silent way of telling me he knew I knew.

It was innocent; I wasn’t even mad at him. I just yearned for the comfort of Y/N’s laughter directed at me. Bailey chuckled at something I said a little ago but it did nothing- not even an artery moved. I only felt one emotion; guilt.

I stood there thinking it didn’t matter. Y/N was the one I wanted, all I ever wanted but knew I need a fucking miracle.

“Oh, fuck yes!” Malcolm cheered while reading something on his phone, catching all of our attention. “My House is being released tomorrow!”

“Shut the fuck up, really?” Y/N quickly left Michael's side to jump over the couch in between Chase and Malcolm.

I couldn’t help but smile seeing Michael standing there alone.

“I thought the label wanted to wait at least another month,” Chase said.

Malcolm shrugged. “The email said that with the successes of Bad Omens new single, they wanted Hollow Souls to release one.”

“You’re welcome,” Folio raised his beer in the air.

“My House?” Bailey said. “I’m stoked you have a song ready to be released out into the wild already. Damn! What are the chances you and Noah’s band have songs out during the same time, it’s like you wrote it at the same time or something.”

Everyone in the room, besides Bailey, shifted uncomfortably, and I finished my beer in two long gulps.

“I like the title,” I said.

Y/N gave me a curt smile before giving her attention back to Malcolm, who had his phone poised ready to record a video.

“Hey everyone, it’s Malcolm from Hollow Souls. I’m here with some friends.”

He peered the phone towards Chase, who threw up a peace sign, then to Y/N who gave a small wave. “Hi! We just wanted to come on Instagram to let you all know that our new single My House will be released tomorrow night. It’s going to be different from things we’ve released in the past but we’re still so excited for you all to hear it!”

Chase was next to pull out his phone before Y/N’s electric voice began playing through the speaker.

I feel you in these walls. You're a cold air creeping in. Chill me to my bones and skinI heard you down the hall but it's vacant when I'm looking in. Who let you in?

Shit. My entire body and essence became electric upon hearing the new vocal range from Y/N. The rawness of her voice told us everything we needed to know.

“Alright, that’s all the sneak peek you guys get. Listen, tomorrow on Octane at eight to hear the whole thing,” Chase pointed to the screen.

Once they finished their video for Instagram, Bailey was on them before they even had the chance.

“I love the lyrics, Y/N. What’s the meaning behind them?”

I gently grabbed her hand, already having a feeling I knew what this new song was about. “They probably don’t want an interview right now, Bailey.”

“No,” Y/N spoke with confidence. “It’s fine. The song is about taking your life back. When something is toxic and hurting you, you need to let go of it, no matter how hard that can be. Almost like you’re not trapped under that person’s gaze anymore when they judge you when they tell you what you want or what you can and can’t do. It’s about kicking them out. I had help, but it’s been freeing.”

She rested her head against Malcolm's shoulder while linking fingers with Chase.

My eyes immediately locked with hers as I took a deep inhale and then a low exhale. You could almost hear a pin drop it was that quiet.

“Fuck, that’s so good, Y/N! I’m happy for you.”

My hands shook at my sides as Jolly turned his attention towards me, sporting his typical Dad Omens expression.

“Told you,” he mouthed.

Pushing off of the wall, I stalked into the kitchen for another beer; my third one in the last 3 hours. However, I walked right past the fridge to grip the sink, letting my head fall as I let out a shaky breath.

You’re such a dumbass. Always overthinking shit that has nothing to do with you.

I screwed my eyes shut tight, forcing the thoughts out of my mind before they burrowed themselves deep.

Soft footsteps echoed behind me as I felt her familiar presence at my back. “She’s really sweet.”

My face jerked as I winced, still facing the cabinet so she couldn’t see my face. The guilt for once again overthinking a situation that could have easily been fixed with a simple conversation.

“Yeah, she’s okay,” I admitted.

I sucked in a breath as I turned to face her, realizing how close she was. The familiar pull of the string that bound our hearts together glowed brightly. I felt it pulsating deep within my chest.

“Just okay? Where’d you meet her?” She wondered.

I cleared my throat. “The record shop.”

Y/N hummed while gazing up at me through lashes and I hoped she couldn’t hear how loud my heart paced against its cage in my chest.

“What did you think of Nowhere To Go?” I asked in a low voice, fingers itching to reach for her to pull her close, closing the last little of bit empty space between us.

Her jaw ticked, something I noticed right away. “It was fantastic.”

I raised a brow, testing the waters because I wanted to know how she truly felt. “Yeah?”

Y/N’s fingers played with the end of my rosary necklace and I shuddered a breath, not daring to let her know how bad her presence was affecting me.

“Noah, I need to-.”

“Y/N! Salem got stuck in the closet again!” Chase called from the living room causing her to jump back in surprise.

“Uh, shit. I should go,” She threw a thumb over a shoulder, a red hue covering her face.

I nodded. “Ye-yea. Sure.”

There was only one thing on my mind as I watched her retreat into the living room.

What the fuck was she going to say?

NOAH

We all piled into the studio, waiting patiently for eight pm. Orie, Michael, and Jolly were taking up space on the couch in the room while both Nicks sat on the floor, playing some card game. I was too preoccupied to care. Jesse sat with me at the computer, watching me as I almost counted down the minutes. My knee bounced with anticipation. We spent the entire day recording our next song, hoping to have it released within the next few months. My phone blew up with texts from Bailey but I ignored each one of them, not wanting the distraction.

Jesse smirked while eating a bag of chips. “Excited?”

I threw him a sideways glance. “Fuck off. Feelings aside for her, this is big for Hollow Souls. It's their first song without what’s his face. It could make or break them, but we know it’ll fucking make them.

“Shit, Noah!” Nick all but yelled. “It’s eight! Turn it on.”

Quickly turning to Octane, we heard the DJ’s voice blare through the speakers in the room.

“Alright, are you guys ready for some new music? This comes from LA’s own Hollow Souls; which became a three some recently. A lot of fans were upset with the departure of Trey but unlike those fans, I’m fucking stoked to hear this new direction they’re going. Here is My House!”

“I feel you in these walls. You're a cold air creeping in. Chill me to my bones and skin. I heard you down the hall. But it's vacant when I'm looking in. Who let you in?

Once again, Y/N’s voice brought chills all over my body and I leaned forward to rest my elbow on the desk in front of me.

“Never thought that I would feel like this. Such a mess when I'm in your presence. I've had enough, I think you've been making me sick. Gotta get you out of my system. It's my house and I think it's time to get out. It's my soul. It isn't yours anymore. It's my house and I think it's time to get out. Yeah, I think it's time to get out.”

I danced in my seat to the music; the drums resonating deep in my bones. I knew Hollow Souls were worried about the change in the band, instrumental-wise since Y/N was taking guitar lessons from their guitar tech. But since she wasn't quite ready for the release of this song, their guitar tech filled in. Regardless, it was fucking perfect.

“You walk around I can hear your pace. Circling my bed frame. Now we're face to face. Head on my pillowcase. But darling, you can't stay.”

“Don’t even try to overthink that line, Noah!” Jolly spoke from behind me. “It’s clearly about Trey.”

I flipped him the middle finger, not letting his words wipe the proud smile off my face.

“Haven't you heard? I'm not yours anymore. I'm not yours anymore. It's my soul, and I think it's time to get out. Haven't you heard? I'm not yours anymore. I'm not yours anymore. It’s my house.”

“That’s my angel,” I rested my chin in my palm, still sporting the brightest and widest smile.

I was so engrossed at the end of the song that I didn’t catch the shared look between Jolly and Jesse, them each sporting their own smiles.

My fingers worked fast to type out the new message.

ME: Hey, that song is great! angel, see!? What the hell were you even worried about. You are the heart of the band, I knew you and the guys would kill it!

Y/N's response was almost immediate, and I couldn't help but wonder if she was waiting for me to text her.

Angel 🪽: Thank you, mochi. That means a lot coming from you. 🖤

ME: Always.

For the next few minutes, I chatted with the guys as we thought about ways to make our next single a step head of Nowhere To Go. But I couldn't stop staring at my phone, needing to talk to her again.

ME: Hey again

Angel 🪽: lol hi again.

ME: Just really wanted to say I’m proud of you, Angel. I’m glad I saw you last night.

Angel 🪽: Thank you, mochi. Again! Truly. Always a pleasure seeing your face.

I stared at that reply for what felt like minutes. She was tiptoeing around me, and this time it was my fault. I think I’m fucking this up.

[silverbladexyz]

OKAY so i had a really specific idea in my head, i feel like Tecchou would be super oblivious to someone actually having romantic feelings towards him, and it would definitely take him a while to actually realize what’s going on. Imagine reader working with the hunting dogs and having a crush on Tecchou, always being paired up with him to go on missions together, except he literally has no idea about reader feeling something towards him LMAOOO

(I also feel like Jouno would find out about the whole situation early on because of his enhanced senses yk? Feel free to do basically anything with this thought of mine🧍‍♀️)

-🕯

👀 I like how you think, my dear 🕯 anon >:)

The picture does not belong to me. It belongs to it's original owner.

TW: Mentions of death and kidnapping. Tecchou is oblivious and adorable while Jouno and Tachihara are best wingmans. Gender neutral reader.

Tecchou being oblivious to reader's feelings

-Tecchou, despite being the strongest Hunting Dog, was actually the most endearing of them all. He had a strong sense of justice, he never hesitated to save and protect people, and he always treated you with respect, never once judging you for your mistakes or quirks

-Not to mention, he's really pretty! Those golden eyes of his always hold you captive by how gorgeous they are, and the smoothness of his deep voice never fails to make you weak in the knees. Tecchou has some sort of natural beauty to him that would make him look good regardless of what he was doing or wearing. If he weren't a Hunting Dog, he'd make an excellent model

-He intrigued you at first with his habits. You had never seen food combinations as unique as his, and his patience and unwavering stamina amazed you when he would look at ants and other insects for hours upon end. But you quickly grew to find his oddities cute, and even joined him sometimes as he pondered on which foods to mix together next

-Because your ability worked well alongside Tecchou's, it was natural that the two of you were paired together on a lot of missions. Even if you weren't as strong in the field as he was, you were great at support, as well as rescuing the innocent civilians that were unfortunately caught up in the mess. This boosted up the success rate of the missions by a lot, which meant that you and Tecchou were now assigned to more dangerous and time-consuming operations. You didn't mind, since you had always considered him to be a friend. Until one single mission changed everything for you.

-While rescuing the hostages from the kidnappers, you hadn't anticipated that it was a trap until it was too late. When the last hostage was set free, the enemy snuck up on you and caught you by surprise, resulting in you being knocked unconscious due to the powerful ability your opponent wielded. Then, the adversary decided to use you to lure Tecchou; with no intention of releasing you

-At this point, it was obvious that the most reasonable thing one should do is to retreat and call for backup. You had hoped that your partner did just that, since the hostage-taker did have a very strong ability that could rival Tecchou's. But even though you knew that the enemy was going to kill you anyways, you still hoped internally that someone would rescue you

-Right after you made your wish, your saviour burst in. He engaged the criminal in a fight so ferocious that by the end of it, his opponent was unconscious on the ground while Tecchou was no better. But he still rushed towards you and caught you as you were released from your binds, even when he himself was on the verge of collapsing.

-Then, the realisation hit. Tecchou came back, potentially risking his life just for you.

-And just like that, you were now in love with Tecchou Suehiro. Which was... not as amazing as it seemed. Because 1. Tecchou himself didn't express much emotions, much less understand them, and 2. You didn't want to ruin your friendship with him by confessing to him

-Your secret crush would've remained a secret if it weren't for a certain blind colleague of yours who had a temper to match his attitude. Jouno had certainly picked up on your increased heart beat whenever you were around Tecchou, as well as your palms becoming sweatier than normal. And if that wasn't enough, he could swear that he heard your brain crash whenever you spoke to his colleague

-To be honest, Jouno found it quite amusing, and confronted you right after he found out about your crush on Tecchou. Now, normally, people would have wished you luck with your feelings, but Jouno was Jouno; meaning that he couldn't help but let his sadistic tendencies take over when you asked him to keep it a secret

-Cue him smirking as he teases you a lot. Jouno can and will use this information as blackmail material, albeit harmlessly. He'll ask you to fetch a lot more things for him, or do some small favours for him with the threat of telling Tecchou about your feelings, all while you glare at him and that smug smirk on his face while cursing his name a lot in your head

-But after a while of this, Jouno gets quite tired of hearing the same biological reactions from you every time you saw your crush. He doesn't understand why you refrain from confessing to Tecchou, and only deadpans when you tell him about your fear of ruining your friendship with him. And this, my friends, is when wingman!Jouno comes into play

-You see, deep deep down, Jouno cares about you! (He would never admit it though) Although it was fun to tease you and see your reactions, he found it annoying and pitiful that you were forever stuck in the pining stage. So, like any good Hunting Dog would, he settled down to give you some advice on how to get your oblivious crush to like you back. He even drags Tachihara in on this and subtly threatens him to never tell a single soul about your dilemma

-The first piece of advice was to give Tecchou some special chocolates on Valentines Day. It was already a tradition, and plus why not confess through indirect means and save yourself from a harsher rejection? So you gathered up all the expensive ingredients, and made your own Honmei chocolate*; it took a few tries, but you were determined on making it perfect for Tecchou. In the end, the chocolates were so pristine and velvety-looking that anybody eating them could taste the passionate love you made them with in each bite Jouno stole some of them when you weren't looking

-14th of February rolled around, and you nervously gave Tecchou his chocolates that took you a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to make. You made sure to have gifted your colleagues friendship chocolates so that nothing would seem out of place, yet you still felt nervousness wash over you as you handed the chocolate over to your crush. What if he didn't like it? All your efforts would have been ruined then, and you'll have to buy chocolates for yourself instead so you could drown out your sorrows

-You didn't expect Tecchou to simply say 'Thank you for the chocolates'. I feel like even though Tecchou is denser than the average person, he'd know which dates are festivals and celebrations. This man must have received lots of chocolates when he was still in school because he is reallyyy attractive, so he is familiar with the act of receiving and gifting chocolates

-Your crush then opened the box of delicately crafted chocolates, lifted one up as you watched in anticipation with bated breath.... and he dipped it right into beef sauce and ate it. You swore you heard the biggest facepalm ever from Jouno in the distance, while Tachihara winced and gave you a look filled with sympathy. At least Tecchou was still a gentleman and complimented you on the deliciousness of the aforementioned sweets

-If food didn't work, then you'll resort to impressing him. Under Tachihara's suggestion, you might have a better chance impressing him with random but useful knowledge. Many people find intelligence to be an attractive trait, afterall; and maybe Tecchou was one of those people

-So this ended up in you spending many hours upon researching into topics that Tecchou was interested in, with courtesy to Jouno for being able to get the oblivious man to tell him what things he liked. As expected, Tecchou liked anything to do with foods of the same colour, as well as muscle training and hard-working animals like ants and whatnot. And whenever he was about to eat another one of his food combinations, or gaze at another army of formicidae (scientific word for ants), you would always drop an interesting fact, hoping to catch this pretty man's interest

-Except the most he did was compliment you for your rich knowledge, sometimes even asking you questions about the random facts you said. And when Jouno asked Tecchou what he thought about you, Tecchou only replied 'They're a smart and reliable friend. I'm glad to be paired on missions with them.' Tecchou please😭😭😭

-When you found out that knowledge didn't work, you resorted to what all Hunting Dogs were good at: combat! Well, you weren't necessarily going to fight Tecchou. Under the pretence of wanting to improve your fighting skills, you asked Tecchou to spar with you. He agreed it was your ploy to spend more time with him hehe

-Well, apparently Tecchou took the role of training you up a bit too seriously, because instead of impressing him with a new fancy sword trick you learned recently, you were instead collapsed on the floor, out of breath, while he held a bottle of water and patiently waited for you to recuperate. And... well... he isn't called the strongest Hunting Dog for nothing :')

-After all your failed attempts at trying to woo your crush, Jouno had had enough and resorted to his last attempt: which was shoving you and Tecchou into the storage room and locking the door, promising to let you out once you 'confessed'. Tecchou nearly tore the door off it's hinges, but you managed to persuade him to first listen to what you had to say

-The thing is, this man is so dense that when you said to him 'I like you', he merely replied back 'Me too. You're a great friend to me.' And that, my dear readers, is when Jouno performs the facepalm of the century™ (he's eavesdropping behind the door of the storage room)

-So the only thing that remained was for you to grasp Tecchou by the shoulders, and confess your undying and bottled up love for him all in an ardent torrent of words as you stare into his eyes with a fierce passion that could rival his sense of justice. And by the end of the speech, Tecchou is staring at you, speechless, with widened eyes as he processes your feelings for him

-You were almost about to tear down the door yourself and run away from the sheer tension in the room, but what you did not expect was for Tecchou to say that he felt the same towards you. Apparently, he was like this for quite a few months now, however, he always thought that it was just a strong platonic attraction towards you I lied. Now this is when Jouno performs the facepalm of the century™

-But hey! You and Tecchou are a couple now :D. Jouno and Tachihara couldn't stop internally celebrating when they saw the two of you walk out of the storage room, hand in hand and smiling like a pair of lovebirds Teruko kept asking when the wedding would be

I hope this has been enough to feed the Tecchou stans 🖤

*Honmei chocolate is chocolate that is used to profess one's love on Valentines Day

@circinuus @sariel626 @dazaiyohane @riiwrites @judasgot-it @yuugen-benni @irethepotato @yukitomybeloved @chuuyas-beloved @chunshiya (Please let me know if you wish not to be tagged!)

[thearchercore]

I came across these 2 thoughts which really interested me on the blog@tsarinablogs and I found her responses very interesting. (I always like his answers which are very relevant and interesting)

I would also like to know your opinion on this subject because I really like your way of perceiving and analyzing. (if that doesn't bother you of course, it's not at all an obligation)

1)

after having an anon's thought, i realized something. (a personal impression) max is someone who is very easy to read, I have the impression that we know straight away what state of mind he is in, he is very open about his emotions, he is easy to read.

Charles, on the other hand, is very paradoxical. He has a very expressive face, you see everything on his face. But at the same time and despite this I find that he remains someone difficult to read. He is expressive but he still maintains a certain control over his emotions. I think sometimes it's hard to really say what he thinks. I don't know if I'm expressing my thoughts well, sorry 😂 I just find that Charles is much more complex than he seems. People like to call him nice, naive and handsome //

2)

It's fascinating how similar and different Charles and Max are at the same time. In terms of racing, they are identical (even in the way they drive there are similarities). They talk about running as something vital, a need, as if the only time they feel comfortable and at peace is in a car. I have no doubt that it is a passion for all drivers but for them it seems like it is different. It seems like they need things to go well. They compare their car to a member of their body. Their way of talking about racing is different and I have the impression that what binds them is that they are the only ones who understand each other. They find themselves in this way of thinking, in this obsession and this vital need; there is an agreement.

another similarity is their humor and their perception of life; I have the impression that they are similar in this respect.

Their difference mainly lies in the way they act and interact with others. Max is very direct and more awkward, he has less self-confidence and needs some approval (like when he makes jokes). He is a very affectionate and spontaneous person. Charles is more socially comfortable and has more confidence. he has more control over his emotions than Max but at the same time he is a very open person.

thank you for mentioning @tsarinablogs! we're friends, and not to sound like i lack any critical thinking whatsover, but we do have a lot of joint opinions

THAT BEING SAID, what i find most interesting about them is how max generally never pretends, he's extremely straightforward and unless RB pr holds him at gunpoint, he will say what he thinks. charles, on the other hand, knows how to use the public opinion to his advantage and knows how to manipulate the narrative extremely well.

when you put these things together, you end up with what max and charles have going on - max who never cares about pretending to be anything he's not being interested in charles and charles, who's really great at keeping his PR persona up, tends to lose some of his cool around max and just becomes more of a private version of himself, let's say. so it's definitely fun to watch them interact vs other people on the grid just in terms of their persona preference of how they present themselves to the world.

when it comes to racing, i think they are extremely similar in both their mindset, approach, and driving styles. someone recently dug out an instance when drivers on track were complaining about their back in the cars and only him and max didn't mind “I am not here to be comfortable, I am here to drive a fast car” so it definitely helps to find someone who has similar mindset in the industry you work in, no matter what sort of industry it is.

finally, you can just tell both max and charles are there to race and win. it's their hyperfixation basically, and so them talking about racing probably fires up those little insane neurons in their brains and they can't physically shut up. i think we've all been here (when you find joint interest and realise the other person shares the same opinions AND you can nerd out together).

[svn-bangtan]

In The End - MYG (Teaser)

»Summary: Han Y/n, hailing from a prominent family in Seoul, returns to South Korea after years abroad. Amid her family's internal power struggle for their hotel empire, Y/ns disinterest in the chairman position disrupts the status quo. A mysterious phone call prompts her return, marking a turning point. As she confronts her arranged marriage to Min Yoongi, a once-fancied childhood crush, the stark reality sets in. The contrast between her youthful fantasies and the complex man he has become introduces unforeseen chaos.

»pairing: Husband! Yoongi x Wife! reader

»genre: Arranged Marriage AU, Angst,

»wc/date: 1k | August 2023

» warnings: Angst, Yoongi is cold, reader is cold but eventually opens up and is very independent, eventual smut. All other warnings that may come will be noted on each part.

»  m.list | Taglist | Thoughts? Comments? Concerns

»  Part 1

The sun hung low in the sky, casting long shadows across the opulent room where Han Y/n and Min Yoongi found themselves entangled in a fierce argument. The atmosphere was charged with tension, as their words collided like storm fronts.

"You just don't get it, do you?" Y/n's voice trembled with frustration, her eyes sparking with emotion. "You act as if my feelings don't matter at all. Like I'm just a pawn in this marriage game, waiting to fulfill my duty."

Yoongi's brows furrowed, his gaze locking onto Y/n's. "And what about me, Y/n? Do you think I had any choice in this? You're not the only one whose life has been disrupted."

Her lips trembled as she fought to hold back tears. "You think I don't know that? Do you think I'm naïve? I've been living this reality my entire life. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel hurt or angry when you treat me like a stranger."

Yoongi's patience wore thin, frustration mounting in his voice. "So, what, you expect me to sweep you off your feet and play the part of the dashing prince? Is that what you want? This isn't some romantic drama, Y/n. This is real life, with real responsibilities."

"No, but you're not making it any easier!" Y/n's voice quivered with raw emotion. "I've been trying so hard to make this work, to understand you, to be a good wife even when you're distant and cold. And what do I get in return? Indifference and disregard."

A bitter laugh escaped Yoongi's lips, his patience waning. "You act like you're the only one who's suffering here. Do you think I wanted this? To be tied to someone I barely know? You're not the only one who's sacrificed, Y/n."

Her eyes flashed with anger, the pain beneath her frustration bleeding through. "You talk about sacrifice, Yoongi, but have you ever considered what it's like for me? To be shoved into a life I never asked for, with a man who barely acknowledges my existence?"

Yoongi's restraint snapped, his voice rising as anger flared within him. "You knew the terms when you agreed to this marriage, Y/n. You knew that our families were binding us together for their own gain. Don't act like you're the victim here."

The words hung in the air, heavy with accusation and regret. Y/n's tears finally spilled over, her voice cracking as she retorted, "And what about you? Have you ever once tried to see things from my perspective? To understand the weight of expectations that I'm carrying?"

Yoongi's jaw clenched, his tone harsher than before. "You talk about expectations? My entire life has been built around expectations – from my family, and from the industry. And now, I have the added weight of being a husband forced upon me. Don't think for a second that you're the only one dealing with pressure."

Y/n's voice wavered, the pain in her eyes cutting through her anger. "Is it so wrong to want something more? To want a connection, a partnership based on more than just duty? We're both trapped in this, Yoongi, but it doesn't mean we can't find a way to make it bearable."

"Life isn't always about finding happiness, Y/n," Yoongi's voice softened slightly, tinged with bitterness. "Sometimes it's about fulfilling responsibilities, no matter how painful."

Tears glistened in Y/n's eyes, her voice trembling as she whispered, "But what's the point of it all if we're just two strangers sharing a house? Is this the life we're doomed to live?"

Before Yoongi could respond, before he could unleash another wave of his own frustration, Y/n's eyes blazed with an intensity he hadn't seen before. And then, as if the floodgates had burst open, she shouted, "But do you even know what love is, Yoongi? Have you ever loved someone?"

"Love, Y/n? Is this what this is about? Something as pointless as love? If I had known you'd act like the spoiled rich brat I always remembered you to be, I wish I never signed those papers, never agreed to marry you in the first place. Grow up, you aren't in America anymore, and you aren't in some fucking fantasy world, we are in reality."  A bitter edge crept into his voice.

Y/n's eyes widened, her heart twisting with hurt and anger. His words struck a deep chord, cutting through her defenses. The silence that followed was heavy with the weight of their unspoken emotions.

A tense pause hung in the air, a silence broken only by the sound of their strained breaths. And then, as if a dam had broken within her, Y/n's voice trembled with an unexpected vulnerability. "I've fallen in love with you, Despite the walls you've put up, despite all the pain you've caused me, I've fallen in love with you all over again."

Time seemed to freeze in that instant. Yoongi's eyes widened, his breath caught in his throat. The intensity of her confession hung heavily in the air, a declaration that shattered the fragile equilibrium of their argument.

As the rain began to pour outside, the room was steeped in a heavy silence. The weight of her words settled around them, each drop of rain echoing their unspoken emotions. And then, without another word, Y/n turned abruptly, her footsteps echoing through the grand corridor as she rushed towards the door.

"Wait!" Yoongi's voice finally broke through, laced with a rawness he rarely displayed. Raindrops splattered against the windows as he took a step forward, his eyes searching for hers, desperate to find a connection that had been missing for far too long. "Y/n!"

But Y/n's steps didn't falter. The weight of her confession still hung heavy in the air, and the intensity of her own feelings overwhelmed her. She needed to escape, to find solace in solitude, to come to grips with the reality that she had bared her heart to a man who might never reciprocate.

As the door slammed shut, the room fell silent once more, the aftermath of their argument settling like dust. Yoongi's hands clenched into fists, his mind racing. He was left alone with his thoughts, with Y/n's confession echoing in his ears, the sound of her retreating footsteps fading into the distance along with the sound of raindrops tapping against the windowpane.

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[gyll-yee-haw]

Birthday Surprise

Hii, everyone! I'm back with something short to celebrate our man's bday and the release of his book! (so proud :'))

Hope you like it! (I'm kinda rusty, haven't written anything in YEARS)

Prompt: You give Jake a very special birthday present :)

Like 1k words

Warnings: fluff, mentions of pregnancy.

You were almost shaking in anticipation. Oh, how long the two of you waited for that moment... ever since you got married, and maybe even a bit before that, you and Jake have always discussed starting your own family. Seeing how he was with his nieces always made your ovaries ache.

Now he was in his "uncle era" as you would call. Releasing and promoting his book "The Secret Society of Aunts & Uncles" was just so exciting for him and you were beyond proud, seeing him so happy and trying new things.

You were almost sad that era would have to end... soon he would start a new one. And he had no idea.

Ever since your test results came positive, you knew you had to find a special way to tell Jake. He deserved that.

You found out two weeks before his birthday. Perfect opportunity... I mean, it was so hard to buy him presents... he always loved everything you got him, but you knew he never actually needed anything. But this year... it would be unforgettable.

-----

When the day came, you thought you would have a heart attack, you barely got any sleep. You knew he would love the surprise, but it had been so hard to keep it a surprise, it was almost driving you insane.

You found him sitting on the sofa, wearing an oversized green sweater after the two of you had his favorite breakfast. He seemed so calm and content. He looked cozy, he looked like home. You realized you were staring at him like a fool with a smile on your face. It was the right time, you felt it.

"Jake?" You called him as you walked to join him on the sofa. You held a box in your hands.

"Yeah, baby?" He gave you his sweetest smile.

"I wanted to give you a present. But... not something you could just buy, you know? Wanted it to be special." You explained, looking at the box. He could see you were nervous because of how you were gripping on it for dear life. You just felt that... when the box was no longer in your hands, the situation wouldn't be under control anymore.

"You know you didn't have to give me anything, my love." He tried to calm you down. "Just being able to wake up by your side for another year is more than I deserve."

You took a deep breath and handed him the box. He sat closer to you and hugged your shoulders, giving you a forehead kiss before opening it.

He unwrapped a very clearly homemade book. He looked at you in awe.

"Y/N? That's... that's so thoughtful, did you do all of this...?"

"Well, Ramona and Gloria helped with the illustrations." You explained, seeing him smile just imagining you and his nieces working together on this project. "I wrote the story and struggled to bind it for several days, so... I know it looks messy, I just..."

"It looks absolutely perfect." He got emotional before he could even imagine what was inside...

"Will you read it out loud?" You asked shyly. "Wanna see your reaction..."

"Sure!" He smiled excitedly, as he opened the book.

Writing is hard, I will not lie... But there's a man who makes me wanna try. I wonder how can he be... Looking this good at forty-three?

He left out a laugh and rolled his eyes.

How can you deny he's the greatest uncle of all times... When someone calls him "uncle", you can see the pride in his eyes.

You could hear the emotion on his voice. You could see his eyes running through the illustrations with absolute adoration.

He's more than an uncle, it's true He gets called another thing or two The greatest actor, the funniest guy, He doesn't even have to try. How lucky am I, cause in the end I get to call him my best friend

That's it. Now he was going to read the important part. Your heart was about to burst.

But there's something he's never been called before... Something he'll have to wait a few months for. But I'm sure he will be glad Cause he'll have someone to call him... dad.

At the end of the page, you glued the pregnancy test. He stared at it wide-eyed, speechless.

"Honey, is this..." he was afraid of saying it out loud. It was too good to escape his lips.

"Yes. It's true." You grabbed his hand and placed it softly on your belly. "I'm pregnant, Jake."

He murmured something inhuman as he placed his gift on the side so he could bring you to his arms and fill your face with little kisses.

"This is... the best birthday present I ever got... I mean... they both are, the book and this..." he looked at your belly, then to your eyes. "Thank you, my angel, I love you so much... I love... this baby so much already, I..."

"We love you too." You replied as you felt your eyes fill with tears. "I'm sorry, but now you'll have to start working on 'The Secret Society of dads'..."

"Y/N." He freaked out when it hit him. "I have NO IDEA how to be a dad..."

"I'm just joking" you laughed at his reaction. "You don't have to write a book about it."

"I just have to raise the child, which seems easier, huh?" He raised his eyebrows sarcastically.

"I know it's hard." You reassured him. "But you got me as a coauthor in this one."

"In that case... I just know it will be the most beautiful story."

______________________________________________________________

As promised, tagging my sweet @gyllenhaalstories, who inspired me to come back, and made me feel very welcome <3

[myheartalivewrites]

20 questions for fic writers

Hey @cha-melodius thanks for tagging me in this!

How many works do you have on ao3?

23

What's your total ao3 word count?

329,905

What fandoms do you write for?

RWRB and A Marvellous Light (The Last Binding trilogy). I've been thinking about writing for We Could be So Good by Cat Sebastian since I read it last week. I loved it so much I binge read 3 other books by the same author straight after, and then turned right back to WCBSG. Book rec for everyone who's not read it!

Top five fics by kudos:

Deep Blue

Just Like That.

Oxford Days

In His Wildest Dreams

A tie for fifth! Have One (On Me) and Tumbled Down and Tangled Up

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Unless they're a bit dodge lol

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is the question that reminds me I've done this game before hehe. I'm only interested in happy endings so this is hard to choose, but Don't Wanna Be A Fool For You is quite angsty and ends just as they're getting over the angst, so I have to go with that.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I always write happy endings, BUT, if I must choose, I'm gonna go with a non-RWRB fic here. in your room, like a temple is an epilogue of sorts to A Marvellous Light, and it makes me SO HAPPY to have written this settled future for Robin and Edwin.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually, though I did get a couple of annoying comments on my first threesome fic from people who thought their own vision of monogamy for Alex and Henry was something they had to come and tell me about 🙄

Do you write smut?

hahahahhaaaaaaaa yes

Craziest crossover:

Never done one

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! Someone did ask me about translating Deep Blue but I don't think they've followed through with it. I'd love it though

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No

All time favorite ship?

Alex and Henry

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oooh, I don't have any WIPs on ao3 to feel guilty about. What sits on my hard drive is between me and my atheist god (also me)

What are your writing strengths?

Yikes, ok! Here are things I like about my writing: I like the way I write smut that's super emotional AND super hot, and all the different ways I've come up to make smut scenes different from each other (because writing them can sometimes feel repetitive from my perspective). I like the way I play with rhythm in sentences and build tension in scenes. I like the way I build emotional and sexual tension in a piece overall. Please no one drop into the notes to tell me they disagree 😂

What are your writing weaknesses?

I CANNOT come up with external obstacles! Whenever I'm trying to plot something out and I'm trying to come up with BIG PLOT REASONS to keep people apart, my brain just freezes. I love internal obstacles, the emotional reasons why people choose to do the things they do, but as for external things to move the plot along (think Jeffrey Richard leaking emails, Queen Mary telling Henry how to live his life) I'm just... ultimately uninterested in them. Which is fine if it's a choice, and I love a lot of writing just like that, but I wish my brain could at least TRY.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Like it.

First fandom you wrote in?

RWRB

Favorite fic you've written?

Haha good one. Changes all the time. Current fave: Paper Chains, I think (a personal stab to my heart how much it's underrated). I tried something new for me with the structure, and I think the emotional punches hit so hard, I'm so proud of it. Or maybe the new one for RBB, called Foxden Park. Coming soon!

No pressure tags (and sorry if you've already done this and I've missed it!): @thesleepyskipper @firenati0n @welcometololaland @inexplicablymine @sparklepocalypse

@onetwistedmiracle @tintagel-or-cockleshells @historicallysam @cultofsappho @14carrotghoul

@suseagull04 @magicandarchery @itsmaybitheway @porcelainmortal @anincompletelist and anyone who fancies joining in! 😘

[planetsstarsandmoons]

If you don’t mind me asking, what aspects or house overlays would cause a big ass miscommunication? Like I knew a guy who at some point just stopped talking to me. We worked together so it was awkward. We went from basically talking to each a lot every shift we had together to nothing. Bare minimum chatter. Turns out we just thought each other was mad at each other or something like “oh I guess they aren’t talking to me anymore guess I’ll just deal with these intense emotions by myself while talking to someone else to fill the time…tho it doesn’t feel the same.” At least on my end. Sorry for the long ass example bruh 🫠

This kind of sounds like a situation where people have trouble harmonically expressing their moon and their mercury, but we’ll see…

Aspects and house overlays that cause miscommunication, from the top of my head:

Mercury conjunct south node synastry:

Every conjunction with a node is felt on a spiritual level. This one came to mind because of a relationship I once had. These people feel ~happy~ talking to each other. The mercury person, on a soul level, desires to sort of do a service of intellectual rapporting to the south node person, being their team mate in life. The south node person feels like no one understands them as well as the mercury person does. How it can also play out, though, is the south node person (always a risk with the south node) not binding themselves enough to the planet person, due to their personal growth from the south node towards the north node purpose. When this happens, mercury in this case will feel drained since their efforts are trying to fuel something the node person is already living beyond so to speak. They feel like the north node is unreceptive and condescending to their ideaa, so the node person drifting away from their south node becomes in regards to communication ‘unavaillable’ to mercury. This makes the mercury person feel rejected, often rejected ‘in advance’ which in concern to stuff that makes the node person actually need-need the mercury’s input, like for example the relationship, will make the mercury person go ‘you know what, I’ll just let her figure out herself’ because the node is too much on her own path. In my case, it created a sense of “oh, this is such a one sided affair from my side. I’m trying to nurture this soullevel important part of her by doing this, and she’s just going her own way and not binding to it, and therefore me” because To the mercury person it looks like she’s just mentally not there and drifting away from the intellectual/communicative connection.

So that became a paragraph lol. But I felt like I should share it

Moon in hard aspect to mercury:

Partains more to feelings of the one not being understood by the logic the other and vice versa.

saturn in composite:

Saturn is known in some astrological circles as the thing that creates ‘lack’, but it’s not because saturn is some minus force. How I see saturn is basically this: saturn is the very strong and mighty and imposing planet that is also very cautionary and stoic and restricted. Where it falls, it forms a ‘challenge’ and the challenge is always this: make sure that where saturn falls, you make a reliable enough base with just enough trust and understanding, that even a planet like saturn Could let go of the reins and unleash their heaviness on that part. Once saturn is set, like a big fk stone, you can’t move it anymore. It’s binding. I think that’s why people are so careful with it, because saturn can also bind us to everything that’s uncomfortable or bad. People don’t like to do that usually. Saturn in 7th: people can’t really do an unrestricted and uninhibited partnership without first really really establishing that the base is sturdy (not superficial) and something good. Saturn in the 8th house: people cannot do uninhibited and unrestricted sex/soul baring without first really really establishing that the base is sturdy (not superficial) and something good. Coming close to doing those house issues without working through saturn (and kind of embracing it as one of your together-planets) the partners are afraid of doing something bad, or too much of what the other partner will think of them. They’ll always feel inhibited sort of. Restricted, like they have to have their reins there because otherwise, saturn tells them, they are being very irresponsible and uncareful ! Almost sounds a little self-sabotaging, right? Now imagine saturn in the composite chart in hard aspect to mercury, or in the house where mercury is, or in the third house.

Mercury and uranus, composite and synastry:

What the other person interprets the ‘zeitgeist’ of life to be, but also their sense of creativity in their way of life, doesn’t mesh well with the logic of the other person.

Saturn in synastry:

When concerning moon and mercury, it can make the personal planet person think saturn doesn’t want to hear their thoughts and will judge them. The saturn person though is the person who wants to talk/communicate, but feel restricted and inhibited by her own force. They’re both too careful. Mercury in hard aspect to saturn causes more frustration than awkwardness like with saturn in aspect to moon, though.

Natal charts:

I think both of you may have some lunar/saturnian aspects in the chart… a combination of easily triggered and immediately shutting down. Chiron may also have something to do with it !

[soracities]

i dont know if it is just me but i feel like art is dying. there’s like a lack of space for the artists to explore. a lot of limitation surrounding making art right now.

* I dont if i were able to articulate my thoughts well 😅 (english is not my first language)

oh no your english is fine, lovely, don't worry 💕

it's interesting to me because i think "art is dying" is a statement that is as old as art itself; it has existed in one form or another in every century--people have said this for as long as humans have been making art and for as long the art being made has differed from the art that came a few years before it, and also for as long as the societies it is being made in have changed. i don't necessarily believe that art is dying, because to me art isn't something that can die—it simply cannot be measured in that way; it's a fundamental part of being human and it is always going to be made, no matter what the external circumstances look like.

sometimes, when we talk about creativity and its current state in whatever society we're in, we tend to lose sight of the bigger picture because we measure so much by works and artists that are already "established" (often without examining what factors allowed them to be established): Art™, as we perceive it in its finest and therefore "purest" state, is what ends up in galleries, or the books that top the bestsellers or the "must read" lists, or the songs that become "anthems of the summer" or endure for decades. but for me those divisions aren't set in stone; i don't draw a distinction between the working father who gave up music and the established musician who didn't; one may only sing and play for his kids now and then and the other may get to sing and play for hundreds or thousands regularly, but the intent behind their craft is the same, the moment they create is the same: you are making something and it is reaching someone and it is, in that moment, binding you together and allowing a moment of joy (or relief or community, the possibilities are many). that is art to me: a moment where the world inside you finally becomes bigger than yourself.

that said, i do think there are growing threats to how art is made and to who gets to make it and how that art then finds its way into the world--creativity requires freedom, not just financial, but also psychological and emotional and you cannot make art when you are run off your feet with a zero hours contract, or living paycheck to paycheck, or grappling with mental health issues, or your mind is crowded with endless to-do lists that leave very little room for you to even just get back to yourself, let alone art-making. i can only speak for what i see in most anglophone western countries and in that regard i agree with you in that there is a lack of space for artists to explore, because that space is only available to those who can afford it: those who do not worry about finances because they have an established safety net, those whose time is not tied up in work commutes or full-time or part-time caregiving etc., those who have access to the resources / people / know-how necessary to succeed commercially in their chosen field, and so on.

art--and the freedom to make art, of any kind--are a necessity for our wellbeing but it is, right now, being made into a commodity that only a few people can have access to: this is not to say that someone lucky enough to be well-off cannot write a beautiful story or paint a beautiful picture or articulate a startling philosophy, but that when the only people who are able to put their art out into the world are all from the same world, or from off-shots of, or sharing in, an already similar experience (middle or upper class, for example), it narrows the potential landscapes that the art surrounding us can contain and the experiences it is informed by (i think it also sends a deeply disturbing message; art is the single most human activity, the single most enduring heritage we have as a species, regardless of race or gender--it has persisted for millenia and established the very notion of our humanity and all the facets of whatever a soul might be; so for it then to be cordoned off like this with the implication that something so primal and species defining belongs only to a chosen few, is deeply insidious). art can be a door or art can be a mirror, but what kind of a world will it be when those lead you, always, to the same place?

i'm deeply against the idea of art as something to put on a pedestal, so when i say that i don't believe art can die, i don't mean that i believe art is something too deep or eternal or transcendent to be affected by the world around it; i just mean that human nature is, quite frankly, stubborn (i don't even mean this in a conscious way, i think it's something that is just blindly instinctive): we will always find a way to make something and this something happens across a spectrum of circumstances--it happens in spite of censorship & totalitarianism, in spite of poverty and in spite of shackles, in spite of the dead-end job with the boss you hate and in spite of boredom in the classroom. in spite of and through all these things people have made art and they have couched it in metaphor, or dressed it up with humour or veiled it in irony, and some have been blatant in their refusal and others have been more circumspect and, yes, some of it has been public and enduring, but a lot of it has been private: lullabies passed down, origami roses made of napkins, a busker at a street corner you share 5 minutes of your life with as you listen to them and then never come across that musician again, a scarf knitted for a friend, a hole in a shirtsleeve stitched over in a heart shape and etc etc etc. some has been big, and some has been small, and some has been made, not for the sake of any kind of endurance or legacy, but simply because: because i am an i and i am in this world and it is what it is (grief-stricken, astonishing, painful, lonely, incomprehensible) and i lend my existence whatever shape i can, even if it's just drawing aimless patterns in the sand on the beach. when i say i don't believe art can die i just mean that, no matter what is happening in the world, someone, somewhere, will crack a dick or a sex joke or craft the most godawful pun known to man and it will still be hilarious.

this is longer than i intended but to sum up i think for me, more than anything, it's the structures around art, the mechanisms through which it engages, actively and widely, with its society as a whole, that are being limited or threatened (or are changing in order to do the limiting and the threatening). and even then, when you get down to it. i think that itself is about something more; i think the only real threat to Art, as it stands, is an existential threat which, ultimately, is not so much about art as a whole but the broader ramifications of what it means to be human, to be a collection of humans, bound together and interacting with the world we are currently living in, with the trajectory it currently has. i think the real focus of whether or not art is dying should be there, because it's not so much about art as an isolated activity: it's about us. x

[plantdad-dante]

Book #71 - Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett

(first time read; usually fairy tale parodies/satires make me feel like someone is kicking down my inner child's sand castles, but Discworld do be Discworld, so I don't know why I was worried) Like............ objectively. Morally. From an ethical point of view... Greebo is horrible. But. But, and here me out on this. But. He's also endearing. Somehow. In the stupidest possible way. I really am a cat person, huh. I find it hilarious how the witches try to break the flow of the story and then Mrs Gogol just struts in with a literal deus ex machina and it actually seems to be working until Granny looks at the situation and is like "no, this is dumb" and goes to solve the plot herself and it is.... It's what needed to happen? In order to have a satisfying story, this book needed the confrontation between the sisters. Just solving the plot with a god wouldn't have been satisfying. So this book about breaking stories still explicitly insists on ending its story the right way. Because it is still a story, and what it is saying is: Treat your story as a story, always. (Also, solve your local vampire problems by feeding them to a cat.) I have too many feelings about the confrontation in the mirror room, and a lot of them have to do with how I am getting unreasonably attached to an old woman who is mean to people, but one thing I enjoyed a lot is how they're both asked the same question in the end and only Granny figures out the answer, and she does so without struggling at all, while Lilith is presumably trapped forever. The amazing thing is... All this is the second half. Solidly half this book is a travel log through rural Europe and every better known folktale thereof, and then the other half is fraught family relations and different angles on the same chosen identity and an absolute refusal of determinalism. And then it returns to travel and binds the two halfs together and I get shrimp emotions again. Also, last thing: Death running into the witches because he genuinly is just visiting this party, not there for a job or anything, and them always needing a second to realize it's him is my new favourite thing.

[alexanderlightweight]

Wednesday prompt if you like it! There is a quote I can't quite remember but goes like 'If you cage me in iron and chains, I'll shatter them. But bind me in silk and spiderweb and I'll barely breathe' - I just love the imagery of it and love the idea of Alec saying it in response to questioning about love/duty.

Okay wow I’ll just say it I loved this quote so deeply and I may end up using it again and also thank you for sharing it. I hope it used it to its justice

—

Magnus barely breathes when Alexander finally comes inside.

He’s been quieter this last week.

More worn, his sleep a little more restless but his waking a little longer.

“Alexander—“ Magnus says quietly, a tender offer in his voice and Alec comes in and tucks himself against Magnus.

Finally, when he pulls back, Alexander keeps close to him, his fingers clinging to Magnus’ own.

“What burdens you, my atlas?” Magnus asks and Alexander sighs and tucks his mouth to Magnus’ neck.

“I turned down an offer from the clave today.” Alexander says, “and in turning it down I turned down something on your behalf and I’m sorry. I promised I wouldn’t make choices on your behalf. But I had to Magnus. I’m sorry, I feel like I’m always saying that.”

“Darling, give me a moment.” And Magnus summons a large chair and falls back into, pulling his darling into his lap. “Tell me what’s going on first. Then we’ll discuss it.”

And Magnus holds Alexander as he sighs, as if he truly is atlas and at last can rest.

“The clave offered me a position, as inquisitor. And if I accepted, they’d offer you a position. As the High Warlock of Alicante.” And Alec sighs against him even as Magnus catalogs the information.

“But I don’t want that. It’s just a way to stop me from doing actual work. They’re trying to contain me, to cut me off so I can only go where they point. And I don’t want that for me, for us. We’d be under their wards and they’d know so much about us and—“ Alexander groans, “and you deserve to be respected by the clave. And it’s not fair to you but I wouldn’t trust the clave for this not to be some elaborate trap to get you under their thumb—“

“Hush—“ Magnus says calmly and rubs his hands up and down Alexander’s back. “It’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong sweetheart. I would only have accepted that so we could stay close together. Also I would never have wanted you to make a choice for your career and future based on what I’d prefer.”

“But what made you decide against it?” Magnus asks after a moment, because it’s a prestigious position and it’s unheard of for someone of Alexander's age to be considered, let alone offered.

It’s shocking that it was offered and only more surprising is that he turned it down.

“They’re trying to cage me and trap you. But if they cage me in iron and chains, I'll just shatter them. But you—“ and Alexander barely is breathing as he cups Magnus’ face and looks at him adoringly. The look in his eye is the kind that makes Magnus lose his breath. “You bind me in silk and spiderwebs and magic and I barely breathe for fear I’ll break it.” Alexander leans close and kisses Magnus cheek, his jaw, the corners of his eyes.

“Whatever ties between the clave and I, they are hardly as important compared to you. Not when my lungs ease in your presence. You make it easier to breathe, like a cool breeze on a hot, humid day. I inhale and it’s like the tightness around my chest eases.

“The clave would work me till I break and only piece me together so I can do more. You let me break apart and love me even more. How can the bonds of ties of duty ever outweigh my love for you?”

And Magnus has to kiss him. Has to claim Alexander’s lip in a soft, overwhelming press of lips and the exquisite kiss of teeth when emotions were too much and Magnus is too eager. And Alexander is laughing and crying, his world held in his hands and Magnus kisses his wet cheeks and pulls him closer.

“My darling, my Alexander, my love—“ Magnus says and he cannot imagine explaining how the depth of his emotions are running.

It’s ineffable, to try and contain the emotions he feels into such a simple expression as words.

And Alexander kisses him, lunging forward and rocking into Magnus like he wants to crawl inside and be tucked next to Magnus’ heart.

Where he belongs.

[rosekasa]

🥑🐝

hi anon!!!!

writers' truth & dare asks

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

immediately my best friend @renwatchesanime ahdjsja. they would bring out their apple pen and notability and our criminal law textbook

i think id also text @jattendschaton for emotional support because i feel like bren is the person ive sent so many vns to like 'am i bad person for this?? i feel like a bad person' and bren is very good at either reassuring me im not a bad person or honestly saying 'what you did wasnt ideal but i love you and understand you and you'll be fine'

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

BUTTTTT I HAVE SO MANY 🥺🥺🥺 IM BLESSED WITH SO MANY PEOPLE ANON!!!

@mozzygan : morgan my beloved: someone who never lets anyone feel forgotten! it's such a wonderful trait to remember people the way she does, especially when she does so many awesome things day to day already!! i feel like someone's priorities say a lot about them as a person and this is so true with morgan

@asukiess : autumn my beloved, she's always cheering me on 🥺 she is such a beautiful person in terms of literally everything -- personality, appearance, her brain, her creations -- and it feels like she is so Fully beautiful that just being around her makes you feel beautiful too

@ladyofthenoodle : noodles has known me since i was sixteen and has always felt like someone i know would stand by me regardless of how active i was in the fandom. i think the thing about noodles that has always inspired me is just the insane level of dedication she has to things in her life -- her work, her fics, her friendships, everything. to me she is someone extremely purposeful and very admirable!!

@jattendschaton : brenu has also known me since i was a baby and she has made me feel so loved and safe in her presence, even back when i didnt really believe i deserved it. bren has such a loving soul and i think it really shows in everything they do. their writing, their art, their tags on reblogs, and ESPECIALLY in conversations, you can tell that they are extremely full of love. talking to them feels like getting a hug. you can't NOT feel secure with them, even if you don't feel secure in yourself.

@hakucho-art : mika is my opposite in the ways that are so important to me. she is all the ambition and fire and fierce steadfastness to get what she wants that i lacked before i met her, and the best part is it's so natural to her that she doesn't even do it consciously. she is the person i turn to when i need to be reminded to stop thinking so much about what's the right thing to do and instead just do the thing and figure out what's right later. they are so amazing in every way and literally a case study on how to be naturally successful

@renwatchesanime : ren is my best friend and is quite literally always there for me. like, i never feel like im ever in an unescapable bind bc i know ren will somehow help me out. my fav thing about ren since forever has always been their brain. they're so fucking smart that i was jealous of them before we became friends. their thinking patterns feel like they catch all the things mine miss, and they're so insanely good at connecting information together and making it make sense. they're quite frankly an absolute genius and they dont give themselves enough credit for it.

[tamarajanegreer]

I am BEGGING people that have a choice to think about divorce when they are deciding to get married. Most people think “oh, if you are thinking about divorce, you WANT to relationship to fail!”

No.

What I mean is, you should think “is 6 months of dating enough for me to decide I wanna be with this person forever?”

“If we broke up 7 times before getting engaged, should I legally tie myself to this person?”

“Are I AND my partner both emotionally mature enough to fight for this relationship when things start to get tough, or do we tend to cut and run?”

“Have I and my partner ever been in an important argument? Do I know how they would act in that situation? And am I ok with it?”

“Do I or my partner have an aversion to apologizing for our mistakes? Especially when it comes to each other?”

“Is the emotional and physical labor of our relationship balanced? Am I ok with our current dynamic?”

“Do I know the marital property division/alimony/child custody laws in my state/country?”

And no, I’m not saying that the above examples are always reasons to not marry someone. My sister was on/off with her BF before they married and they’ve been happily married for years. People CAN make mistakes and learn from them and grow. But if the answer to the above questions is “no or idk” just THINK about it some more. I’m not saying “don’t marry this person because you answered ‘no’ to one of these questions;” I am just asking, for the love of all that’s good for you, for you to sit down and CONTEMPLATE. Get opinions from other people that genuinely care about you.

I have seen people treat divorce like it’s just gonna be a “tough breakup” and no man. If y’all ain’t agreeing on how to split your stuff up? You gotta get the court involved to decide what is and isn’t marital property and to decide who gets what.

You got a joint bank account? Marital property.

You bought a house/car while married to this person? Marital property.

You bought/inherited a house before you married and after you married you put your spouse’s name on the deed? Depending on where you are? Transmuted marital property.

Your retirement/pension/401k? Possible marital property.

And if you get lawyers involved? What’s the initial retainer gonna be to even start the case? (Probably thousands) What’s the attorney’s hourly rate? (Probably hundreds)

Does your state/country required mediation before a contested trial? If so, that’s more $$$.

Do you have kids together? Can you agree on a custody/visitation schedule that is going to be best for your kids (not you - custody/visitation should never be about what works best for you unless it is also best for the child)? Or are you or your partner the type to use your children as leverage in a court case?

Can’t agree on custody/visitation? You may have to hire a Guardian to represent the best interests of the children. That’s more $$$.

This isn’t some attempt at legal advice, it’s just common sense. Please THINK before making big life decisions. Just loving someone isn’t a good enough excuse alone to legally bind yourself to them.