#someone asked me on stream if it was a viola or a violin and I literally do not know the difference LMAO

[nyctophobia-au]

Every month or so I like to come back from the dead to post a picture of Auri and then I slink back into the abyss. I did the lineart on stream yesterday. That was wack.

[nyastyaraspurrtina]

Question for youuuuu

Hi! I have never actually listened to the mechanisms, but I’m a big tma fan and really like the very slight aus where it’s like the mechanisms were the archivists college band things, so I’ve read a lot of fanfic that basically references them with not a lot of context yk?

Also. Because I have watched some rusty quill stream vods on YouTube, I’m now getting like 9 second mechanisms clips recommended to me.

And. Last little thing. I am a big alt folk person, and last night I remembered this band I love that I basically totally forgot about and hadn’t been listening to for a bit, and went and just shuffled their songs and it was great. (Robert hallow and the holy men! If you were curious)

But. I was like scrolling through the similar artists, and the mechanisms showed up again.

So now partly because I just keep seeing them come up and partly because of curiosity. I’m tempted to actually check them out.

But I’m really bad with new music, just kind of in general I like my comfortable and familiar songs. And I know really nothing about them besides like. Some of their names and the whole like immortal space pirate thing. But like musically? I have like no info.

So basically uh.

What should I expect? What like. Kind of music would I be getting into? Is it worth it?

I’m asking mostly because I’m looking for someone to be enthusiastic so I have a reason to push my hesitancy against new things aside btw.

Sorry this is so long lmao, and thank you :)

OH MY GOD????? IM FUCKING HONORED THANK YOU

Okay so to start out with, they have 4 main albums. Once Upon A Time In Space, The Bifrost Incident, High Noon Over Camelot, and Ulysses Dies At Dawn. They tend to vary in terms of what their music sounds like, but they always have the same instruments, more or less. (Glockenspiel, flute, drums, sometimes Jonny on the harmonica, bass, guitar that I honestly cannot tell if it's electric or acoustic, viola, violin, Jessica Law's amazing vocals, and I think that's it but I'm probably forgetting something else). High Noon Over Camelot has a lot of Western influence, and is very folk-leaning-country, is the best way I can describe it?

You said you listen to TMA, so here's a couple people to know - Frank Voss and Jessica Law. Frank Voss plays Ashes O'Reilly, an arsonist who burned down their home planet and joined up with the Mechs. Here's the song with their backstory. It's very much like jazz, I think. In TMA, Frank Voss plays Basira Hussain. Jessica Law plays the Toy Soldier, a sentient wooden man (or, according to a tweet she made, a metal man that just looks wooden?) It essentially pretends to be alive, and will obey any order given to it. It pretended to be a rich lady's husband for a while, and then fell in love with an Angel - when it wasn't reciprocated, it ripped out the Angel's voice box. Not sure if it uses it as its own voice box, I forgot. No backstory song for TS sadly :(((. In TMA, Jessica Law plays Nikola Orsinov! And then there's Jonny Dville, first mate, killed his dad for money, killed the guy who paid him to kill his dad, burnt down the guy's casino, and joined up with the Mechs. Here's the song with his backstory. Not quite sure what genre that song falls under, sorry! Jonny D'ville is played by Jonny Sims, who is Jonathan Sims. Don't worry, it's really easy to remember /j.

Anyways, I'm gonna assume you're not very familiar with their whole shtick from what you said - basically, each of their albums tells a story, except for Tales To Be Told Vol 1 and 2. In those, all of the individual songs tell individual stories. There is Death To The Mechanisms, but I'd listen to that last. You can listen to the other albums in any order, though! There are some songs that are entirely narration, no singing. If that's not your thing, TheVoidSings on YouTube, who is an absolute SAINT, has a playlist of all the tracks that do NOT have that narration.

Now, the music type. WARNING FOR GUNSHOT NOISES IN ALMOST ALL THE ALBUMS. Not sure if that bothers you, but they do often have gunshot sound effects. If you like, I can compile a list of songs that have the gunshot effect so you can avoid it, if it would make it a no go for you. High Noon Over Camelot - Western. Heavy folk & country. Once Upon A Time In Space....not sure what to class it as. It's a mixture of things. It can be very loud and fast-paced, but sometimes slow? There's some songs that are like a waltz. Some are very fast and loud. The Bifrost Incident - the best thing I can class it as is "train". Very loud, fast-paced, but melodic in a way. Ulysses Dies At Dawn is heavy blues influence, kinda jazz? idk I don't really listen to jazz sorry :(. And while I am biased, it is ABSOLUTELY worth getting into. Like I said, if a whole album at once seems too intimidating, Tales To Be Told vols 1 and 2 have individual songs that each tell a story. Their music as a whole is always pretty loud and fast paced, so don't go into it expecting waltz, classical, slow and soft stuff.

I'm sorry this took me so long to answer 😭😭😭 I hope this is OK please let me know if you have any more questions!!!!!!

[magalidragon]

making music | a Jonerys AU | fic tease

a/n: Bêcha thought I forgot this one? LOL Nope, just working on it here and there. It will be longer than I thought of course. So here’s a tease to part 1 up soon!

Once again, turning the corner, she almost stepped straight into a busker only this time a trumpet player, and when she knelt down to pick up the coins that had fallen out of a flatcap set on the cobblestone, she heard a low chuckle, and a heavy Northern accent, her blood going cold.

"You just can't help yourself can you?"

"I'm sorry I..." She whipped up, glaring. She shouted. "YOU!"

Jon chuckled, leaning against the brick wall, a foot propped up behind him, his other stretched out, and a trumpet loose in his fingers. "Me." He rolled his eyes, but still smiled. "You want a piece of my gig here or what? That why you keep stepping into my payment?"

She glanced at the cap, noting there were only a few stags; he had way more as a guitar player. She smirked up and straightened. "Maybe you should stick to strings then Mr..."

"Snow," Jon said, lifting the trumpet up. He blew into it, fingers fast on the keys, the tune upbeat, jazzy. Someone walking by tossed in a dragon coin. He finished the snippet of a song she thought she might have recognized as a twist on a famous Essosi opera aria, and had gathered a few other admirers, including, she noted, some young women who giggled behind their hands and ducked their heads coquettishly, trying to catch his attention.

It was the music that held her attraction-- although he did look good standing there in his all black attire, hair pulled from his face, his strong forearms on display. She spied some tattoos peeking out from under the rolled cuffs and one on his inner wrist, a series of musical notes on a scale. She frowned, wishing she could see it closer, wondering what song held such importance to him he wanted it inked to his skin permanetly. Or maybe, was in his mind during a drunken moment and now was inked permanently. Could be anything.

He finished the song, the crowd gathered applauding. He swept the trumpet aside and bowed, moving towards the case while people dropped coins and other things into the flatcap. Several of the women dropped phone numbers. Dany remained standing, waiting for them to disperse and Jon to collect the money. "Do they not pay you enough?" she asked.

He chuckled, unfolding the bills and darting a glance upwards through his dark curls. "They do. This is for something else." He pocketed the money and shoved the cap into the side of the padded trumpet case. He quickly cleaned out the trumpet, wiping down the gleaming brass, dragging the cloth through the valves to dry it, and set it into the velvet lining.

Dany waited and caught his attention when he stood, slinging the case over his shoulder. "Are you first cello?" she asked, wanting more information. He was the only one she knew now from the sympthony, she wanted to get as much information as possible. Especially if they were to play together.

He nodded. "Aye."

"But you also play guitar and trumpet?"

"I play a lot of instruments."

"Yeah so does everyone," she scoffed. They all said that. Viola players claimed they could play violin and vice versa. Guitar players claimed they were also proficient in banjo and ukelele sometimes. Anything for the résumé. She rolled her eyes. "There's a difference in maybe playing something and being proficient in it."

Jon eyed her sideways, chuckling. "Alright, I'm proficient in a lot of instruments. And you?"

"Four."

"Let me guess."

She grinned. "Go ahead." He'd never guess.

Jon ticked off his fingers. "Violin."

"Duh."

"Guitar."

She wrinked her nose. "Yes."

They turned a corner; she had no idea where he was going, somehow she was stuck to him like a magnet, unable to tear away. He patted his pockets, searching for somethng, and removed a pack of cigarettes. He smiled sheepishly. "Bad habit."

"Terrible habit, especially for someone who plays a brass or woodwind instrument," she chided.

He lit the cigarette, pocketing the lighter with a flick of his fingers. She spied a wolf etched into the side of the silver Zippo. He paused at a corner, studying her a moment. She shifted, oddly uncomfortable with the x-ray-like gaze. His irises were gray, a peculiar color. They shimmered, reminding her of the ash on the cigarette or else storm clouds. He blew a stream of smoke out to the side, gesturing with the cigarette. "Piano."

She grit her teeth. Eyebrow quirked, she shrugged. "Alright. Yes."

"I've got three. How many more guesses do I get?"

"One more, I told you I play four."

Jon kept his gaze on her, once again giving her the x-ray once over. He narrowed his eyes and smiled wide. "Harp."

Her mouth dropped. What...how...WHAT!? "You cheated!" she exclaimed, at the same time he burst out laughing. He dodged the fist she flung out to smack at his shoulder, this perfect stranger, but she was positive he deserved it. First for chastising her when she completely accidentally stepped into him, then for his comments after her incredbile audition, and now well, for whatever was happening with this. She glared at him, simultaneously impressed he got them right and also annoyed.

Now he laughed. "How did I cheat? I didn't know you until like three hours ago."

"But you did," she realized. He knew her real name. Could have been a good guess, but she tried vrey hard to keep the lives separate. So how did he know?

They were still walking. She realized they were approaching a nondescript old building, stone and worn, with moss growing on the side from the healthy amount of humidity King's Landing endured. There was a large olive tree out front, providing shade over a fountain of a series of wolves chasing each other. They stopped near the entrance to the small courtyard, his fingers idly running down the strap of his trumpet case, his cigarette almost worn down to the filter.

He flicked off some ash, drew in a last pull of it, and stubbed it out, tossing it into a trash can. He smiled again, but it didn't meet his eyes. He tapped her case. "Violin, easy." He gestured to her fingers. "You have piano hands, calluses on your wrists, your black and white outfit, probably what, teacher too?" She scowled, refusing to acknowledge he was right. He carried on. "Guitar because that was actually just a guess."

"And harp? How'd you guess that?" she demanded.

Jon blinked, shrugging. "You're a Targaryen."

Her jaw set. "Yes," she ground out. She arched her brows, silver bouncing up to her hairline. "Which I would kindly request you keep to yourself."

"You should probably hide your eye color then."

"I could just be Lyseni or Valyrian otherwise."

"You have your mother's face," he said. He continued, her shoulders drawing back at that, surprised. He smiled again. "And Rhaegar Targaryen was one of my first music teachers. I know a Targaryen and I know he has a little sister and well, Targaryens are the only harp players that actually make it a worthy instrument to learn." He grinned wider. "I'll give you a hint. One of the instruments I do not know how to play is harp."

Rhaegar's student? Her mother? Harp? What? There were questions swirling around in her mind, before she could ask him to clarify. He walked by her and to the fountain, dropping some of the coins in it and then depositing his earnings into a box near the entrance to the building. He tipped his fingers to his temple, saluting her. "See you around Daenerys Targaryen. Or Dany Storm. Which do you want me to call you?"

"Dany," she whispered, unsure what to make of him.

He nodded, smiling. "Dany." He turned, walking off and reached into his pocket, removing a harmonica, lifting it to his lips and humming off on it as he wandered away, out of sight.

[carrotmakar]

hey loves!! miss sham @tbslenthusiast tagged me in this cute little get to know me game so here i am!!! (if someone else tagged me and i didn’t see it, i’m so sorry my mentions only work like 1/4 of the time!! also if i’ve done this before, no i haven’t <3

1.) name: zoey! but you can call me zo or just z if you want!!!

2.) gender: female, my pronouns are she/her

3.) star sign: libra

4.) height: 5′4-ish (i haven’t been to the doctor in almost a year due to the pandemic okay idk exactly how tall i amfhdskjf)

5.) time: 12:32 am (00:32)

6.) birthday: september 26th

7.) favorite band(s): one direction, 5sos (but like... more like 2014 5sos), lany (i’m getting into them <3)

8.) favorite solo artist(s): harry styles, taylor swift, lorde, hozier, miley cyrus, megan thee stallion, and so many more that i just can’t think of rn!!

9.) song stuck in my head: vibez by zayn and driver’s license by olivia rodrigo

10.) last movie: um....? i think i watched hamilton not too long ago (shush i know it’s a broadway musical but i call it a movie bc i can watch it on disney+)

11.) last show: the last one i finished was bridgerton, but i started the queen’s gambit (i’m literally like 5 minutes in bc i got busy but still)

12.) when did i create this account: like december, 2019 but i didn’t really use it until like.... april or may of this year

13.) what do i post: harry styles, taylor swift, zayn, lorde (whenever she appears on the dash although i don’t follow many lorde accounts sadly. if you know any, feel free to recommend me some!!), my thoughts, a lot of censored tags that if anyone ever figured out i’d be forced to pass away, updates that nobody even looks at in regards to my wips, random screaming posts that are just song lyrics, and probably more i’m just.... tired it’s after midnight <3

14.) last thing i googled: is 0 a rational number (listen it was like 4 am yesterday i was delirious with sleep and just wanted to get the missing work turned in)

15.) other blogs: my ‘spam’ for my thots: @vehicularmanslaughterr, my to red blog: @zoeysficrecs, my truck stop harry fan blog: @truckstoprry, my fan account for hitha: @gays4joealwyn (i think that’s it fhdskjf)

16.) do i get asks: sometimes, mostly when i rb an ask game or if i make a post that for some reason gets seen by a bunch of people and then there are some people that get.... angry <3

17.) why i chose this url: stream nobody is listening, coming january 15th

18.) following: 325

19.) followers: a number between 0 and 50,000 :)

20.) average hours of sleep: 0.5 - 2 if i actually end up sleeping at night. if i sleep during the day it’s like... 4 - 12

21.) lucky number: i don’t think i have one tbh

22.) instruments: piano, viola, cello, violin <3

23.) what i’m wearing: a sweatshirt and shorts

24.) dream job: artist / tour management or a lawyer (i know, two very different things)

25.) dream trip: europe or australia

26.) favorite food: grilled cheese or toast 

27.) nationality: american

28.) favorite song: i don’t just have one but i’ll give you my top five right now in no particular order - i would die for you: miley cyrus; to be so lonely: harry styles; buzzcut season: lorde; anna (played in barcelona): harry styles; vibez: zayn

29.) last book i read: i haven’t read a book in so long that it’s kinda sad, i read fanfiction instead </3

30.) top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: um.... bridgerton, lucifer, and maybe harry potter

i’ll tag @havethetimeofyourstyles, @academia-ashton, @hsonesupremacy, @glowunderthemoon + anyone else who wants to do it!!!

[rayatii]

A (somehow both very biased and not very opinionated) review of the Met orchestra musicians concert “Song to the Moon” from February 21, 2021:

I had been bothering my Tumblr followers with my excitement over this event yesterday, so it felt only right for me to stop procrastinating and give an attempt for a review of the whole thing; I think this is actually my first time writing a lengthy review ever, and it will probably sound naïve and be an embarrassment for me in the future.

It started around 10 PM where I live. I sat in my bed with my computer while eating chocolate in order to stay awake throughout the whole thing, and trying not to spill any pieces on the sheets, excitedly waiting for this event, having actually bought myself a fifteen-buck ticket about three weeks prior with my parents’ credit card (they didn’t bat an eye when I asked their permission), happily knowing that the money was not going to end up in the pockets of the undeserving Met management.

Given the shitty Lebanese Wi-Fi and the fact that this was a livestream, I had been worried that I might miss significant chunks and get upset over the fact. The stream did glitch a few times for me during the first number (mainly because I had my computer on my constantly-moving knees, before settling it down next to me on the bed), but otherwise it never failed me.

But let’s get on with the review. The livestream began with a title card representing an animation of a lunar eclipse, displaying the title “Song to the Moon”. The concert started with a performance of Antonín Dvořák’s String Quintet No. 2 in G Major, Op. 77 by members of the Met orchestra. (actually, given that this is a Met musicians concert, I feel that they ought to be rightfully credited; Nancy Wu, 1st violin [for this piece], Bruno Eicher, 2nd violin [for this piece], Désirée Elsevier, viola, Kari Jane Docter, cello, and Leigh Mesh, double bass.)

I actually listened to a recording of this piece in preparation a few days prior, just so you guys know. Obviously, there were a few slightly flat notes that were played, but overall this was quite a pleasant rendition, and I still have the theme from the 2nd movement stuck in my head as I’m writing this. What I also liked was that at one point (i.e. when I was actually paying attention in that area) I could actually hear the notes being played by the double bass quite clearly, at least compared to the other recording that I had listened to.

Next on the program, the musicians were joined by soprano Angela Gheorghiu (i.e. my main reason for actually purchasing the ticket), who performed all the way from the Athenaeum of Bucharest, Romania, [1st instance of Raya uselessly gushing] looking ethereal in that shot that was shown of her just walking inside the building wearing that white dress and flowing cape, before the actual performance. Just a warning for you guys here; I love Gheorghiu (actually, it’s a bit of a celebrity “crush”), so please expect a little bit of somewhat controlled gushing here and there (partly physical appearance-wise, which are indicated by the bold, and which I deeply hate myself for). This part of the review is causing me even more anxiety for that reason.

She performed on the stage of a theater that was practically empty besides the pianist. She sang in two languages I do not understand at all, which helped me a bit with not getting too distracted by pronunciation. [2nd instance of Raya uselessly gushing] Before I get into what y’all actually came for, I just wanted to get it out of my system about how she had this appearance that defined “has aged, aged really well”. She had this kind of mature beauty, especially with her makeup, that seemed to give me the overall vibes of a pleasant middle-aged auntie. (well, this was very difficult embarrassing to write) Even her singing voice had this sound that can be described as having this sort of “mature” quality blended with the whole fact of her overall sound being “hers”. I hope I have made myself clear.

Okay, gushing finished for now, let’s move on with the review!

Apparently the footage taken in Bucharest and the one taken in New York were both filmed separately. I found it really mind-blowing how the audio of both got synchronized so perfectly.

The first gem Gheorghiu sang was an arrangement of “Tatăl nostru”; basically an early-19th-century musical setting of the Lord’s Prayer by Anton Pann that is still used to this day in the Romanian Orthodox Church (totally NOT reading off the PDF for the program notes provided on the website). I had obviously never heard this piece before; I had tried to (VERY lazily) look it up a bit, but to no avail. I unfortunately don’t remember much from this performance apart from everything mentioned before, but what I do know is that was rendered really epic thanks to the participation of principal Met percussionist Gregory Zuber alongside the string players.

Next was performed the aria after which the whole concert was named, the incredibly famous “Měsíčku na nebi hlubokém” (aka “Song to the Moon”) by Dvořák again, from the opera Rusalka. This version was actually arranged by the violist Elsevier, who is among the musicians who retired from the Met during the pandemic. And it was indeed a beautiful arrangement! Now, unlike “Tatăl nostru”, which I virtually knew nothing about, I love this aria and know it quite well, so I did pay attention to some of the pronunciation; but then again, I do not speak Czech, so it didn’t matter much. Overall, Gheorghiu’s rendition was not perfect (I thinnnnnnnnk there were some notes that were a little bit out of tune? but there was vibrato that also touched the right tone and so I couldn’t tell), and I would certainly not imagine it within the full context of Rusalka the opera (see what I noted above concerning the quality of her voice), but that did not stop me from finding it quite beautiful.

It felt so weird not to hear any applause after each number, and so I could not help but clap after each gem, even though no one could hear me.

After the concert wrapped up, the audience got to watch a chat session between Gheorghiu and Met horn player Barbara Jöstlein Currie, where they talked about how this whole thing came to be (so apparently there was Instagram DM’ing between the two that was involved in the preparation?), before the five string players (which actually include two married couples!) whose music we heard earlier joined in. So unlike the concert, which was all pre-recorded, this was a Zoom session being streamed live. [3rd instance of Raya uselessly gushing] Gheorghiu’s speaking voice sounds radically different from her singing voice, and I can tell English is not her primary language, but that’s just something useless I wanted to include, on which I have zero strong feelings. In contrast to the pre-recorded concert, here she was responsible for me writing in The Balcony Seats Discord server earlier today about how “you know you have aged well when you end up looking a bit like Morticia Addams”, especially with the makeup. [gushing done]

The whole discussion hinged on the concept of “Met family”, and I found the whole interaction between Gheorghiu and the musicians just very very sweet, a star singer and musicians in the pit seeing each other as equals, as family. It’s not every day that I see that (but then again, my background is severely limited, so what do I know). Among the relatively unimportant things the convo touched on that stick with me, in no particular order, are:

Gheorghiu apparently married on the stage of the Met because the guy from the City Hall lost their papers and I never knew that??? (but then again, I never directly research info about my hyperfixations because I get overwhelmed) Everyone had a nice laugh at that recollection.

She got into this whole profession mainly to sing at the Met. Also the whole deal of her making L*vine cry and making her debut at a young age for a star singer.

Everyone relating to the feeling of going home at night after a concert, and not being able to go to sleep because you still have adrenaline flowing through you. As someone who does performing arts, I also relate to that on a moderate degree.

Family life talks.

Gheorghiu mentioning how she can’t work with a director who’s like “your character does that because that’s what I decided” because something something harmony? I can’t remember; I’m pretty sure I’m misquoting. But that’s basically the equivalent of “my house, my rules” (”my production, my interpretation” in that case, lol) imo, so can’t object too much.

Something about playing the finale of Götterdämmerung led the musicians to humorously throw in the idea of Gheorghiu singing Brünnhilde as her next role, and she went all “nah” to that, also humorously.

This led to her admitting that she’s not the biggest fan of Wagner’s music (though she would consider singing Elsa); saying that she’d travel back in time to tell Wager to stop writing these interminable phrases, to just get to the point (I’m not really into Wagner either, so I don’t completely disagree). Also, she believes that Wagner is difficult to sing, and that singers who nail Wagner tend to end up singing only Wagner (here, I think it depends, but there is a point somewhere in here).

She doesn’t seem to like singing acapella/without music very much, which also led her to record some sAcRiLEgiOuS versions of Orthodox worship songs, which you’re apparently not supposed to sing with music.

She sang something like “goodnight, goodnight” (idk) at the very end, it was cute.

To go back to the important stuff, Gheorghiu apparently wrote directly to the Met donors, asking to help in any way, because she wanted to set an example for other people by doing the right thing, and to help what she sees as her “family”, as mentioned above. I had heard some stories about her diva reputation (and she does seem to enjoy attention and stuff, from what I’ve seen myself), but overall she seems like a pretty good person. Mainly mentioning that because as y’all know I’m autistic and can’t tell intricate body language and stuff, plus my very strong belief that good person >>>>>>> great performer. (but my dear friends say that loving her is valid, so I guess I’m safe from too much disappointment. what am I even writing).

And that’s it for my incredibly long and uselessly detailed and almost incoherent and somewhat gushy review, which took me nearly 3 hours to write (and for which I may or may not have replayed a little bit of the stream just to get one bit of info right), and which will, again, probably embarrass me for the rest of my puny life, but which I could not not let out into the void of operablr.

(There were also moments earlier today where I was fantasizing about being interviewed on that very Zoom meeting for the scene-and-duet I composed back in January in response to the Met’s poor treatment of its musicians)

I guess what I can take from this post is: never write a review again, Raya!

[bigbeargraue]

Day 12: The Love of Music

When Anna had first moved in with me, it had been strictly as a roommate situation. She was a friend of a friend who occasionally went to parties where she met a guy my friend roomed with in his first year of college. Still, I was happy to split the rent of the small two bedroom place with someone else. The first sign that something was off was when she first moved in. Most people would note the condition of furniture, the amount of stuff being brought in, but I was more concerned with how little there was. Three boxes, two big duffel bags, a small high-back upholstered armchair, a viola, and a piano.

I had tried to ask her what she needed with the piano in our somewhat small living room, but she simply gave that smirk of pure, unfiltered snark and answered, “Play it, of course.”

With the two of us lifting, the piano quickly found a home against the wall next to the front door next to my couch. My back already in pain as I slid the monstrosity into place and heaved a heavy sigh of finality. I was somewhat happy that it was a stand up piano rather than a grand piano, my eyes moving from the black and ivory keys to Anna who stood admiring the wooden frame. Her eyes gazed longingly at the piano, like a young lover finally meeting her counterpart after months abroad. My lips slowly parted to break the silence, perhaps even ask a question, but there was nothing.

The next morning I was awoke to the soft chimes of a song floating through the doorway and into my room. The tones seemed almost magical in the morning sunlight, the notes drifting through the air as I found it ever more difficult to end the peaceful moment I was having in bed. Standing, dressing, moving to the door, the music continued. As I slowly approached the living room, I heard the song begin its final crescendo before coming to a stop as I watched Anna’s slender fingers play over the final keys to bring out the final notes. Her full lips pursed as if kissing an invisible lover, her eyes closed, her body in a simple outfit, and the aura of bliss and peace emanated from her.

I gave a soft smile as I cleared my throat, rousing Anna from her state of peace. Her eyes flickered open a moment, the soft blue irises shining like sapphires in the light peering down from the overhead lamp, “Oh, Good morning. Hope I didn’t disturb you.”

“N-No, I rather enjoyed it,” my lips stammered a bit over my own thoughts. She turned back and slowly laid the fallboard back over the keys, stood, and moved to her room where, just like the keys, she covered herself and shut the door. Glancing to the piano, then the clock, I nodded and went off to work.

Something in the day had changed. Typically, a day in my life was little more than dull paperwork and dealing with annoyance after annoyance, but somehow, the day seemed that much more bearable. When I arrived home, I heard the sounds of a soft violin through the front door. It was a gentle song, one I had not heard before, but given my tastes in music, that was far from a surprise. Opening the door entreated my ears and heart to a litany of beautiful notes as Anna stood in the center of the living room and gently stroked the bow in her hand across the strings.

Once again, her eyes were closed, a soft smile playing across her lips as I watched in awe. She twirled as she played, gently moving along with the music that flowed like a small babbling stream through the living room. I slowly stepped inside, easing the heavy wooden door back into its frame as Anna continued her performance and I stood in silence. My cheeks flushed, my heart pounding, my eyes wide, my mouth slack and open, my fingers trembling, my mind awash with emotions. Anna’s bowstring moved, I moved with it, and soon, I was lost on the seemingly endless river until once more, the music ended.

Anna lifted her head from her Viola, cradling it as if she were carrying her child in her arms, and I couldn’t help but applaud. The first clap caused Anna to jump, startled as she looked up to me with a nervous giggle at her lips. My hands burned from clapping, but Anna smiled and gave a bow.

The first days together in that apartment were a dreamscape of music and laughter and talking. She explained her dream of being a composer, her dream of being a musician, of being that girl who could move crowds, and she smiled. I listened. She would giggle. I would listen. Her infectious soul had already corrupted my own, made me wish for a better world through music and dance and love. The sound of her music woke me every morning and lulled me to sleep at night. Months passed, we had grown closer, no longer were we friends of friends who had met at parties who knew a guy. She was my friend, and I was in love.

I had once asked her if she would ever stop playing her music, perhaps if she had grown old, or maybe if she had become famous. Her lips curled into that same snarky smirk she had when I first asked why she needed a piano, “When the Fallboard is up, I will be playing, until then, you’ll always have to listen to me.”

There had been days were she would smile to me, playing her viola as I diligently made dinner for the two of us. Her sparkling eyes would meet mine as I flashed her my own soft smile. Her songs grew and formed, they sprouted beautiful seeds and leaves and flowers and erupted into gardens of beauty. I marvelled at her abilities as she simply bowed with every round of applause I gave her. Some days she’d play for only a few short moments, smile, bowed, and then retreat into her room. Still, I applauded.

It was a Summer day when I woke up to silence. An awkward sound after having spent so many days waking to the soft tinkling of fairy wings of sounds as they slowly poured from the piano or slid off the strings of her violin. Where was she? Where was the music? Where was the sound I had lived and breathed and died to everyday? I threw open my door, threw open hers, and discovered the emptiness of a room without life.

There she was again, her eyes closed, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she lay in bed. A room devoid of all she had been. She was gone, quiet, cold, and motionless. Lips unmoving, eyes closed, and the sad makeup of death had already touched her cheeks.

She had no family. No real family to speak of aside from me. The hospital said it had been simply heart failure, but I hoped beyond hope for something less mundane, for some divine reasoning as to why she had to die. I had to ask some of our friends to clear out her room. My heart could barely stand the sight, the feeling of emptiness within that cursed bedroom. Every day, I awoke to silence. Every night, I slept in silence and yet, even as my friends came and went, eyeing the piano, the viola, and the music stand with unfinished sheet music; I could only give a nod.

Sometimes I could hear the soft playing of music on the piano or the viola as I came home from work. I could almost feel that soft smile on her face as I looked to the piano seat slowly gathering dust under the keys of the piano as she had left it. Still, I held on to that piano. Held on to the memory of her fingers playing at the keys. Held on to the memory of her viola singing soft tunes into the apartment.

It had been years past now. My hair graying, my eyes growing blurred with age, and as I rounded the corner to that apartment door that I had clung to so tightly after all these years. A soft patter on the wind, like soft leaves caught in a breeze, piano keys slamming and twinkling through the evening air. Claude Debussy’s Clair de Lune. A favorite of hers, a favorite of everyones. I could only stop for a moment, just outside that heavy wooden door. My forehead gently pressed against the old paint as I softly sobbed and listened to Anna play once more. Tears trickling down my face as I listened, desperate for the moment not to end, and as the last notes were being struck, so did I.

I clawed at my keys, unlocked my door, and threw the heavy thing open to the darkness of the apartment. Turning to the piano I hung my head low in foolish realization, in terrible heartache as I saw the piano seat untouched, the keys cold in the fading twilight, and my heart broken once more. I slowly shut the door, turning on the lights as I locked the locks back and then moved towards the kitchen. I cursed my foolish hope as I stopped at the refrigerator and eyed its contents before thinking one singular thought to myself, “The Fallboard was up.”

[wontonkatsu-blog]

Blog #12: “Awake” at 4am, I knew this is the song // Jessica Rahel

May 7, 2017

!!!WARNING!!! This is an incredibly long post. I don’t know why or how I managed to write so much in one sitting. I titled each section, so please read at your own convenience.

Introduction

POP! is in two days, and I’m really excited to show everyone our music video and watch everyone’s performances. Even though POP! hasn’t happened yet, I want to make this post to reflect my feelings and thoughts while working on this tedious, yet really fun, project. 

“Spring Day” = finally some good music 

If you’ve read my long ass post about BTS, you know that I’ve been obsessed with them for quite some time now. This all started with me falling in love with the song “Spring Day” in class when a group presented a music video that they made of them dancing to it. Note that I only fell in love with the song at that time. I’ve heard of BTS but didn’t care much for them because I wasn’t into K-Pop. Also, I didn’t like any particular music at that time. I’d enjoy a mainstream song here and there, but get bored of them easily because they get overplayed on the radio or at grocery stores. Listening to “Spring Day” was kind of like getting a wake-up call from the universe telling me, “THERE’S STILL GOOD MUSIC OUT THERE!” I believe it now. 

So. Much. Content!

An example of a BTS “content”… and yes, this is a very important 22 second video

Because BTS debuted in 2013, they have over 4 years of content on YouTube. These include live performances, interviews, vlogs, live streamed videos, reality show episodes that they’re on, “fancams” (videos that fans took), and so on. It was so easy to get hooked on them because of the amount of content they have! Though they speak in Korean, there are English subtitles at the bottom of the video, thanks to the fans who do the translations. It wasn’t long until YouTube picked up on my watching patterns and started recommending me more and more BTS content. All of this started from watching the “Spring Day” music video. I started liking them more and more- their other songs, their dances, and their personalities.

Biases

Because some of my friends like K-Pop, I know that they have “biases”, or a “favorites”, from each group. It was so hard choosing a bias from BTS. I have asked my friends (and watched YouTubers) about who their bias is from BTS, and a lot of them said V, Jungkook, Jimin, Rap Monster, and Suga. V and Jimin came up the most, which made me biased against them because I thought they were too “overrated” in a sense. At first, I was biased towards Rap Monster, the leader, because he speaks fluent English. As a fluent English speaker, who wouldn’t be biased towards him? Then, after watching the “Dope” music video, I fell in love with Jungkook, the youngest, because he just looked really handsome. I then changed my mind after finding out that he was only 17 years old in that music video. He is almost two years younger than me. When I find out that a guy is younger than me, I automatically see him as a little brother figure because I have a little brother. Now, I just adore Jungkook for his voice and personality. He is an attractive boy, but I can’t bring myself to crush on him and V, who is 3 months younger than me.

Who is my bias?

So, who is my bias? Who did I finally settle on? JIN. I decided when I re-watched a live performance of Spring Day. I was trying to find a bias based on their voices. I don’t know how to describe that moment when I fell in love with Jin’s voice. It’s like all of a sudden, when I matched the voice to the face, it happened. This was on Tuesday, April 4. I told my friend “Jin is so cute. His voice is so smooth!” I also realized and went on to find that fans think that he is pretty underrated. He also doesn’t have that many lines in other songs compared to the other members. Also, I don’t know anyone else who is Jin biased. I think he is really popular, but not as popular as the other members. That’s why I like him. I root for the underrated guy.

“What the hell am I gonna do for POP!?”

We needed an idea for what we wanted to do for POP, and honestly, I wasn’t planning on doing that much. Honestly. It’s my last semester, and I felt like I deserved to take it easy. In the past semesters, I was always the group leader, chasing down every single group member and making them do their part of the project. Not a fun game. Even though I am sort of leader for Wontonkatsu, I love this group because we all work well together and look out for each other. I think the fact that this class is a “family style class” helps us collaborate better than groups in other classes because we get to do fun things, like hanging out outside of class. I also have 2 other ongoing school projects aside from POP. My plan was to collaborate with people who just needed a piano accompaniment. That was why I asked Allayne, the viola player in our class, and Ryan, the drummer, if they needed someone who has been playing piano for over 15 years (aka me). Basically, I just wanted to play piano because that’s literally the only thing that I’m comfortable at doing. Little did I know.

Awake at 4AM on a Thursday (April 6)

BTS was still new to me at this time. I could not stop watching them on YouTube. Over 4 years of content? Heck yeah. I got sucked in so quickly. I learned all of their inside jokes. I wouldn’t sleep until like 4am or 5am watching BTS all day and night. My life was a mess. What good could come out of watching these videos? NOTHING. Or so I thought.

That night (or morning), I guess I was exploring their other songs. I read a comment on one of the videos saying something along the lines of, “There’s a significance each of them having a solo song…” I was like, “WHAT? THEY EACH HAVE THEIR OWN SOLO SONG? WAIT, I WANNA HEAR JIN’S SOLO SONG!” It was only 2 days after I decided that my bias is Jin. So, I searched up “jin solo bts” and the song “Awake” came up in the searches. That’s Jin’s song. I clicked on the version with the English lyrics and listened as I read the lyrics.

Lyric video

Short film/music video

Here are my thoughts as I listened to the song:

“Ok this is so sad. Ok this is really sad. Wait I’m crying. What? Omg. I feel the same way. I feel this song on a spiritual level. Jin omg. You’re singing my thoughts right now. *Cries*”

I cried some more. I replayed the song. I watched the music video. I read the comment sections. I read fan theories about how Jin feels that way about himself. I cried some more because I could relate. I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

Awake at noon on a Thursday (April 6) (No, I won’t stop with these “awake” puns)

Because I slept after 4am, I naturally woke up at 12pm. Responsible, I know. I took a shower and got dressed. It was 1pm, 3 hours before our class.

I had an idea for POP. 

I want to recreate “Awake”. The song that made me cry last night. I want to recreate THAT. In a performance form, in a video form… doesn’t matter. Let me make my own art and live my dream.

I need a violin player. Drums. A piano. Korean speaker. Chinese speaker. Singers. Actors. Cameramen and camerawomen. A director.

I texted our Wontonkatsu group and asked if anyone knows how to play a musical instrument. Except for Kevin and his belly drums, no one else does. That’s ok. They can be a singer/actor/etc.

I texted Allayne, the viola player in our class, if he has an idea for POP yet and would like to collaborate. I told him my idea and he agreed.

I had 3 hours to write my idea. I made sub-ideas just in case we couldn’t do one idea. Here are the ideas I had:

·         Idea 1a: Perform with instruments – no video

·         Idea 1b: Sing with instruments – music video shown behind the performance

·         Idea 1c: Sing with just piano – no video

·         Idea 1d: Sing with just piano – music video

I even wrote out a one-page long explanation as to why I really wanted to do this and how this can relate to our class. This I will talk about in my POP reflection post.

I typed them all up, printed them out, and ready to pitch in my idea in class at 4pm.

Wide Awake at 4pm, in class

I was excited to pitch my ideas. In the back of my head, I knew that this might not work. But that’s ok, at least I could say that I tried.

When I got into class, I talked to Wontonkatsu and they seemed like they’re down to make this idea come to life. I met up with Allayne and went over my plan with him. Floris overheard us since she was sitting right next to him. That was when she mentioned that she’d like to help direct if anything.

I wrote down all our names. We had a team. Wontonkatsu minus Troy, Floris, Eric, and a Korean person, Seoyoung! Exactly 8 people, which is the maximum number of people allowed in a POP group.

Long story short, we got a spot as a team to do this project. Thank you TAs. I got to live my dream!

We ended up being in the category of “Visual Arts”, which was to make a music video. I had 4 ideas, but we had to make “Idea 1e”, which was to just make a music video and compose the music. I don’t know why I wanted to be performed live and have a music video playing at the same time. It could be because I slept at 4am that night!

Now what?

Awake but tired at 7pm, in my finance class

In my finance class, I realized that I could not take this burden on my own. I had to give the director positions to Floris and Eric. Even though I was the one who came up with the idea and wished that I could direct, I couldn’t. It was just not possible because I still had to learn and compose the song for piano and viola. Remember that I barely knew this song at that time, so it was very overwhelming. Not to mention my assignments for other classes. .

STRESS.

I barely ate nor sleep during the next few days because of this project. I was feeling all kinds of emotions. I listened to the song religiously, trying to listen for the violin and piano parts. I asked my older friends for advice on how to sing and compose music and spent a lot of time composing. It’s harder than you think! It was definitely harder than I thought. Apparently, the music for viola is very different than the music for violin. The viola is played on the alto clef, which I did not know about until I had to do this project! It was a lot of stress because I had a debate that was due as well for another class. I also don’t sing on a regular basis, so I had to relearn how to sing all over again. Looking back, I guess it wasn’t that bad. However, because it was my first time officially composing for something and the fact that I can’t really sing, the stress really got to me.

Slowly but surely.

Slowly but surely, progress unfolded. Floris was willing to help with the translation, recording, and literally everything. She did a lot of work and dedicated a lot of her time and effort into this project, which I appreciate soo much. Eric was the director who used his vision while Floris carried out the vision by filming. Seoyoung helped me understand the song a little more with her fluent Korean. Chao and Peter helped translate part of the song to Chinese. Haruka translated part of the song to Japanese. Chao, Seoyoung, Haruka, Lucy and I were part of the singing team. We practiced. We filmed. We recorded. We struggled. We disagreed. We agreed. We compromised. We fought for the sake of the team.

Reflection before POP!

Well first of all, I’M SO THANKFUL FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS CONTRIBUTED TO THIS PROJECT! GOOD JOB, PROUD OF YA’LL. You know who you are. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart <3

A lot of my vision did not come into life throughout this project. We ended up not using the Allayne’s viola parts because it did not fit the song well. I still thank Allayne for his time and effort for volunteering to help us since he’s part of a different POP group. Floris filmed, edited, and produced the song. If it wasn’t for her, this project wouldn’t happen. I did a lot of work too, but I have to give it up to Floris for putting it all together. I do hope that I can make my own content in the future someday. For this project, it’s been a Floris Production, but that’s okay since she has experience and I definitely don’t… at all. If I was producing this, everyone would have a hard time..

Instead of being an accompaniment, I ended up starring in this project. Sometimes things turn out differently than we planned, and for the better too. This has been a dream come true. To star in a music video and to record a song from scratch.

I can’t wait for everyone to see it.

I’m so excited for POP! Meanwhile, I’m struggling to end this post because there’s still so much more to talk about. Like, how can Asian-Americans identify with this song? It’s a K-Pop song after all. What does this song have to do with anything we learned in class? Those questions will be answered in my next post, the actual POP reflection.

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading my long ass post. I’ve forgotten how fun it is to blog and reflect. My hearteu heart is full.

- Jessica Rahel

[stephfm]

Candid Conversations, IV. The Future of Classical Music

Last, but certainly not least, I sat down with a friend, who like me is involved in the classical music industry, but does not classify himself as a musician per se although he performs in various choirs. Both of our journeys with classical music are very similar. At the age of 10, we both joined our respective school choirs and over the years, we ventured deeper into classical music.

He, however, listens almost exclusively to choral music, claiming that over 90% of the music he listens to are choral pieces, and the remaining are orchestral. For some reason, he defended himself saying, “Not being a snob, but I do not listen to pop music.” I laughed at his behaviour, knowing exactly why he felt the need to do so. 

“I think people get the misconception that people who listen to classical music exclusively, they tend to be ... a bit too cultured or even snobbish.” 

Although he explained that he derives more pleasure from choral music or sometimes orchestral pieces featuring a chorus, like Elgar’s The Music Makers, he still enjoys listening to pure orchestral music. He went on to talk about why he likes such music. 

“The lack of lyricism, that’s one. Because there are no lyrics, the piece is almost entirely open to interpretation. I can interpret it any way I want, and that’s the beauty of it. It’s subjective— what others think of the music is irrelevant.” 

At this point, we established that he shared very similar taste in music— classical music—although he leans towards choral music more than I do. And so, we began to talk about the classical music industry. When asked to describe it, he replied with “I would describe it in two ways. First, exclusive and second, old.” My brows were furrowed and I was taken aback by what he had just said. 

“For someone who is part of this circle, compared to someone who does not know much about classical music, you still describe it using almost stereotypical words. Why’s that?” I questioned. 

"Just because they don’t know, doesn’t mean they’re wrong. I mean there is some truth behind it and I’ve seen it for myself. I’ve attended many classical concerts and that seems to be the best adjectives to describe the other audience members sat around me. I mean they are either in the know or old ...I wouldn’t blame the layman to have the conception that classical music is reserved for those two groups of people, when in reality, it isn’t.” 

He was right, there is some truth behind it and so, I decided to stop using the word misconception. We then talked about how these perceptions people have may affect the industry. 

“It limits their reach when it has the potential to reach out to so many more people who are neither in the industry nor old,” he expresses. If we were to draw a graph, it would show a straight line, a plateau. “I wouldn’t say that classical music will decline and just disappear, but it would remain exclusive to the groups of people we mentioned earlier.” 

I decided to share with him some statistics I came across. 

"Oh! That’s great, I’m impressed. I guess I was wrong. I hope this will break the mold that classical music is reserved for a certain group of people.” He sounded hopeful as I told him that classical music was the fastest growing genre last year and streams increased. 

I decided to probe a bit more and so I asked, “What if the increase in streams is attributed to the group of people who listen to it as background music? For sleep, for studying, almost like an afterthought or filler.” 

That’s where our differences showed. To him, any form of consumption was enough, while I wanted more people to have a genuine interest in it. There isn’t a set purpose for classical music, or any music for that matter, and so it can whatever anyone wants it to be, and he was fine with that. 

When asked what his thoughts on why people aren’t actively listening to classical music, his responses were very familiar. Almost like he quoted my friend from the very first conversation, he talked about the lack of lyricism, the need for interpretation and effort.

“It's just the features of classical music, or lack of, it’s in the music itself…” I began to realise. 

He added, “I also feel that to truly appreciate classical music, you do need some knowledge.” 

“I genuinely believe that you don’t need any knowledge…you don’t have to be a musician and you don’t have to have studied it before. Yes, it can be helpful, but all you have to do is listen.” I jumped in. 

He agreed, but still felt that one can derive more appreciation with knowledge. When I emphasised that appreciation wasn’t what I was talking about, but just pure enjoyment and pleasure, he replied “Oh, then no. To get the most out of classical music, knowledge will help, but to enjoy it no no no…” 

We began to discuss what exactly is hindering people to give classical music a go. Besides lyricism, it’s pop music as a competitor and the sheer reach and saleability it has. Remembering what I studied in my Music History class, I mentioned that composers back then wrote for longevity. 

“But I guess it isn’t lasting….” I trailed off, a tinge of sadness in my voice. 

I wanted to find out then, since he feels that classical music has reached a “dead end”, why he is still actively part of the industry. 

"Because I like it and it is a very significant part of my life, since 17 years ago,” was his reason. 

He does it simply because he enjoys it, for his own satisfaction when he steps onto stage. It wasn’t the most altruistic reason, but it was a reason nonetheless. I began to wonder if the idea that classical music may just decline and disappear eventually affects him in any way. 

“ I wouldn’t say it bothers me, but it would be a shame.” 

“So how can we combat that? How can we help classical music survive, if not grow?” I asked. 

“We need to make it relevant to a wider audience. Social media…” 

I tilted my head, urging him to carry on. “I know about TwoSet Violin, who’s doing just that,” he continued and I smiled at the mention of the Australian duo. 

"I wouldn’t say we should educate the layman, but introduce them to classical music in bite size portions. Because it can be overwhelming and intimidating, when it really isn’t.” 

“To debunk misconceptions or conceptions, break it down, expose and eventually, educate.” I summarised. 

He added, “And peak their interest using trends or whatever is relevant today. Classical music, at the end of the day, isn’t for everyone but it is open to everyone.” 

And so, to wrap up our conversation, I asked what advice he would give to anyone who is apprehensive about giving classical music a go. 

“Whether you want to give it a go on Spotify or attend a concert, go in with no expectations, perceptions, prejudices…just let the musician tell the story to you and you decide what it is. If you don’t enjoy, it’s fine…you gave it a shot. Just go in and just let it flow over….” 

“Just see where it takes you,” I said in agreement. 

“Yeah. And trust me, it’s completely fine if you have absolutely zero knowledge on classical music.” 

“Even if they can’t tell the difference between a violin, viola and cello?” I joked. 

He smiled, “Well, just learn along the way.” 

Although our passion for classical music stems from different reasons— his being almost solely because he does it for his own enjoyment and me, not only because I enjoy it, but because I genuinely do want to see the industry grow and not just survive— I guess we’re both playing a role in keeping this bit of history alive.