#someimes I like the way my mind works

[styona]

Two clips that give off the same energy

[lost1nspac3]

Who Am I?

The marauders put two and two together. They knew that Remus was alone, and just needed to feel loved. So that's what they did. When they got back to where they were camping, they started up the fire again and got the story of what happened from Remus. If it wasn't for Sirius holding his hand Remus would have run away again“i came out and- and my dad was angry. He threw pictures of our family across the room, broke vases, chairs, and the coffee table. He burned all photos that had me in them.....” Remus paused. It still hurt to tell the story. But now, he was safe. He was with his friends. “he- get threatened me. Called me a disgrace, disappoint, fag, so on....... My mom wasn't happy about this. She agreed with what he said but didnt like the way he was reacting by breaking things.... She cared more about a vase than her child..... ” Remus trailed off, leaving it at that. He wasn't going to say what happened next. “he hurt you didn't he” Peter said, putting a hand over his mouth. Remus nodded • • • The 4 marauders fell alseep about 5am. They were up all night talking, and ended up all in a bundle, hugging.People say that love has to be shown in words. But Remus Lupin knows this isnt true. When Remus Lupin is around bia friends, he feels loved. Even if thy are just sitting there. He feels loved. He feels wanted. He feels cared for.Remus grew up where love was a sore topic. Love was girl and boy. Not girl and girl or boy and boy. Remus thought gays were brave. He thought they're cool. He looked up to them. He knew he was onw of them when he met Sirius Black He knew he was in love. But he didnt tell anyone. He kept it a secret. He put on a mask. He hid who he was. And he hated itRemus Lupin is the friend that waits for you when you tie youe shoe. Remus Lupin is rhe friend that listens when you need to talk. Remus Lupin is the one that's scared to be him. Remus lupin is the one that loves everyoneRemus Lupin is who we need more of in this world."THIS IS RUBISH!" Sirius yelled, running a hand through his hair. "how does this stuff even work!??" It was summer, and the sun was setting. Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter were camping in the woods, something they did every summer. Dora Potter gave James some little challenge things for them to do, and some were harder than others. The first one was to do something no one has done before. This one was easy, mainly because of Sirius' wild imagination. He came up with the idea to turn into his dog form (also known as snuffles) when on a broom with James, whilst Remus and Peter set off fireworks. It was somwthing else, and if you didn't know the marauders, it'd seem really weird. "were lucky this stuff won't be on O.W.L.s " Peter said as he syarywd handing out some snacks he bought. "bloody hell, theres O.W.L.s next year!" James said, looking up from the paper he had been staring at. "im not ready for those-" they were all sitting around the fire, which was the only source of light other than the moon and stars in the sky (and their wands, but the only one that remembered that was Remus) Remus hasn't looked up from the paper, yet was listening to everything in the conversation. He was thinking about the question on the paper that Sirius was yelling about. He didnt know what to put for it. Who are you? At first, the boys thought the answer was there name. But then, they realized the question had much more to it. Who are you? What parts are you made of? What Makes you different? James and Peter had found a few things to write down, but Remus, nor Sirius, couldn't think of anything. 'what am I?' he had said when they got to this challenge. 'a werewolf?' he finished, rubbing the back of his neck. He had almost said 'monster' but stopped himself. He knew that wouldnt go over too well..... He truly had no idea what to write. Peter had written how he wad a good listener, how he was caring and kind, and how he knew small things about his friends that not many people knew. James had written about how he was a believer. He believed in himself and his friends, and someimes even his peers. (If they weren't a Slytherin that was. He really didnt like Slytherins.) He wrote that he would never give up on his friends and trusts them with his life. Sirius was also having trouble thinking about things, because of where he came from. He wasn't loved or cared for by anyone other than the Potters or his friends.

James and Peter went to get some more snacks from the tent when Remus and Sirius stayed at the fire, Remus never looking up from the paper. "I DONT KNOW WHO I AM!" Sirius yelled, throwing his arms into the air. "I DONT KNOW!" Even though Remus wasn't showing it, he was just as frustrated as Sirius was. He was starting to get mad at James' mom for giving them these challenges. After 5 minutes James and Peter came back to the fire, holding bunches of foods and snacks. Remus didn't eat anything though, He said he wasnt hungry. After about half an hour, Sirius came up with some things, saying that he was different and indepenident. It made sense, he was the first non-Slytherin in his family. "your brave " Remus said, looking up from the paper for the first time. "your brave for going back to that place every summer" Sirius looked into Remus' eyes for a second before nodding and writing that down. A little flutter of hope had gone through him when remus had said that he was brave. Remus wished he could say that HE was brave. Yeah, he had moments when he was brave, but most of the time he was a loser. His mind flashed to a month ago, when summer had just stared. The month he wished never happened. That's when evwrything went down hill. He hadnt told anyone about what happened thought. Just kept it to himself. His friends didn't need to know he was homeless. That's when Remus wrote something on the paper for the first time. He curled the y at the end of the word aroundd the bottom of it, making the word be underlined with the y's tail. He stared down at the word and sighed. It was who he was and he couldn't change that.

The word was gay.

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After the word gay, remus wrote a few things the other said. Brave. Smart. Kind In small print off to the side though, Remus had a wrote things he didn't want anyone to see. alone, monster, disappointment, failure, ugly.... Most of the list is what he got told when he came out. None of it was from his friends, but more of less his parents. Remus kept adding to the list, adding homophobic slurs he got called by others, and other hurtful things that he knew he was, no matter what people told him.

Its was about 2 in the morning when Sirius feel asleep, then about 2:30 when peter and Remus fell asleep. James, who was still wide awake, notices the small handwriting in the corner of Remus' parchment. He read the words. Alone. Monster. Disappointment Failure. Ugly. Faggot. Mistake. Accident. Unlovable. Unnoticed. Homeless

James bit his lip and looked over at Remus. He was hugging himself in his sleep. 'hes homeless?' james thought to himself, setting the parchment back where Remus had set it. James didn't know what to do, or what to think. So he woke Sirius up.

"whadyawantProngs" Sirius muttered. He and james were farther away from the team and fire, james didn't want anyone to heae them. (He mainly didnt want Remus to know he read the paper). "its about Remus " james said. "i didnt know who else to tell, but he wrote really bad things about himself Sirius. He isn't ok." James paused and looked at Sirius, who now looked worried. "he wrote a monster, and that he's ugly and a disappointment and an accident and a f-" James couldnt being himself tk say the word. "he said he was homeless, Sirius. Something happened. He needs help Sirius sighed and rubbed his eyes. "lets talk about this tomorrow. Right now Rey is with us, and he's safe. Well ask him a out it tomorrow. Er- later today I guess James nodded and started walking back to the tent. But when they got there, the fire was out, and Remus was gone. All they found was a sobbing Peter.

---

"h-he r-ra-ran" Peter stumbled around the words, trying to stop sobbing. He couldnt believe what had happened. He could barely remember it. He had told the story to the best of his ability. At this point he was just repeating things.

Not long after James and Sirius left, Remus had woken up. He saw the paper had gotten moved and started freaking out mentally. Thats when it happened Thats when Lyall(a/n: sorry if its spelt wrong) Lupin apreared. Thats when Remus screamed, but it was muffled but his father putting his hand over his sons mouth. Peter woke at Remus' scream, and watched everything that happened under his eyelashes, not daring to open his eyes anymore. Peter heard the words Remus' dad spoke. Peter heard the quiet sobs Remus let out. Peter heard Remus call his name. Peter heard the calls for help. "Remus?" he muttered, acting like he had just woken up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, then acted like he was just seeing the sence before him for the first time. Before Peter could say anything else, Remus' father dropped Remus and disappeared again. Peter went over to Remus. "are you ok? Should I get the oth-" Remus had fun before Peter could finish the sentence.

"shhhh Pete it wasnt your fault, calm down " James said, slightly hugging his friend. Peter nodded. It took a a few minutes, but soon he had calmed down. "we need to find him " Sirius said. He had beem staring at the paper remus had wrote on, re-reading everything on it. He was almost in tears. He couldnt believe anything that Remus had written. It hurt his heart. "i agree. Peter, did you see what direction he went in?" Peter nodded and started walking in the direction Remus went in. Sirius' hands were shaking. He had tears in his eyes that broke free when they couldnt find Remus. "we'll never find him..." he said, sitting on a rock. Thats when he heard it. Crying. "Rey?" Sirius looked around. There was no one there. "hey James? Did you bring the cloak?" James looked at Sirius. "yeah. Why do you ask?" Sirius bit his lip slightly. He knew where Remus was. "no reason " he lied, getting up. He walked between some trees that were behind the rock he had been sitting on and saw the log. "rey?" the cries stopped. Sirius sighed and sat on the log, right next to where Remus would be if he could be seen. That's when he felt him. Remus had put his head on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius could hear the cries, he could feel Remus trying to catch his breath. Thats when James came back to where Sirius and Remus were. He sat on the other side of Remus and reached out to pull the cloak off Remus. Sirius hugged Remus, the james hugged him too, waving Peter over. If there was anything Remus needed right now, it was love. And that's what the other marauders would give.

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.

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The marauders put two and two together. They knew that Remus was alone, and just needed to feel loved. So that's what they did. When they got back to where they were camping, they started up the fire again and got the story of what happened from Remus. If it wasn't for Sirius holding his hand Remus would have run away again

“i came out and- and my dad was angry. He threw pictures of our family across the room, broke vases, chairs, and the coffee table. He burned all photos that had me in them.....” Remus paused. It still hurt to tell the story. But now, he was safe. He was with his friends. “he- get threatened me. Called me a disgrace, disappoint, fag, so on....... My mom wasn't happy about this. She agreed with what he said but didnt like the way he was reacting by breaking things.... She cared more about a vase than her child..... ” Remus trailed off, leaving it at that. He wasn't going to say what happened next. “he hurt you didn't he” Peter said, putting a hand over his mouth. Remus nodded • • • The 4 marauders fell alseep about 5am. They were up all night talking, and ended up all in a bundle, hugging.

People say that love has to be shown in words. But Remus Lupin knows this isnt true. When Remus Lupin is around bia friends, he feels loved. Even if thy are just sitting there. He feels loved. He feels wanted. He feels cared for.

Remus grew up where love was a sore topic. Love was girl and boy. Not girl and girl or boy and boy. Remus thought gays were brave. He thought they're cool. He looked up to them. He knew he was onw of them when he met Sirius Black He knew he was in love. But he didnt tell anyone. He kept it a secret. He put on a mask. He hid who he was. And he hated it

Remus Lupin is the friend that waits for you when you tie youe shoe. Remus Lupin is rhe friend that listens when you need to talk. Remus Lupin is the one that's scared to be him. Remus lupin is the one that loves everyone

Remus Lupin is who we need more of in this world.