#some of your ships r hard for me okaaaay

[ecstarry]

the nice thing about writing is that when im in need of tooth rotting fluff i can always count on myself to write what i want to read

[steampunk-magicalgirl]

I ship it!

Alright guys! It seems like we unfortunately won’t be getting any big celebration for TAU’s birthday this year. That doesn’t stop me from celebrating it in my own way though, so here’s a fanfic thats been sitting in my head for about two years now, enjoy!

(Also, just a note, Timothy is a r!Henry)

on ao3

Timothy Jackson, 15 years old was, in their own opinion, one of the best writers that had ever been born on planet earth! They had written both comedies and tragedies, made people of all ages both laugh and cry, and now, finally, their latest work had been completed. In just a few minutes it would be posted online for the world to see, and Timothy would finally receive all the praise and glory that they knew they deserved. Anticipation filled the room as Timothy carefully typed out the words that would make up the summary of the story.

‘Human! Alcor, human! Woodsman, high school-coffee shop au!’ they wrote ‘When a young student named Alcor looks for a new job in the town’s coffee shop what will happen when he meets his new super handsome manager? Will their love blossom despite the rest of the cruel world’s disapproval? Read to find out.’

They did not add the classic ‘fic better than summary’ comment that most authors liked to use. They knew they didn’t need it, Timothy’s summary was perfect! Just like the rest of their carefully crafted masterpiece. Sure, Woodcore might not have been the most popular ship around at the moment, but surely that would change as soon as people read this fanfic. Alcor and The Woodsman were perfect together, they knew it! People just needed a little help to realize what Timothy had already seen long ago.

They smiled to themselves as they pressed the button for publishing stories and made their hard work public. As soon as the story appeared on the screen Timothy refreshed the page to see if they´d gotten any reviews. When they hadn’t they refreshed again, and again, and again until their cat Mason decided to jump up on Timothy’s desk and sit in front of the computer screen, effectively blocking Timothy’s view in the process.

“Mason get down!” Timothy ordered, however the cat didn’t even seem fazed at all, in fact it simply laid down in front of the computer and started to lick at its paws, Timothy sighed and moved out of their chair to pick Mason up and carry him out of the room. As soon as Timothy and Mason walked out into the hallway they were met by Timothy’s mom.

“Oh hello darling” she said “I was just about to ask you if you wanted to help me make dinner?”

“What are we eating?” Timothy asked her, “We’re making hamburgers.” Their mom answered “I thought you might want to help me fry them…” 

“YES I DO!” Timothy happily exclaimed, and soon all thoughts of going back to the computer to refresh the page again were forgotten in favour of making dinner with mom, and when Timothy finally got back to their room after the meal they simply turned off the computer, and went to sleep.

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 The next day after school Timothy threw their bag onto the bed as soon as they got home and eagerly logged on to their computer. Surely somebody had to have read their fic by now. They probably had a million kudos, maybe even a few reviews! Oh how they wished somebody was there so they could share their excitement, but Mason was nowhere to be seen at the moment, although that was probably a good thing considering what had happened yesterday. Timothy´s heart raced as they opened up the site where they posted all their fanfics, and just as they thought, somebody had left a review! Oh this was perfect, everything Timothy had always wanted would soon be delivered to them, all the glory and praise that the Twin Souls fandom could offer was just a click with the mouse away! Timothy opened up the review…. And their heart sank

‘umm not to be rude but this was kind of awful, I almost feel sorry for you! Alcor was just so out of character and I found at least a thousand spelling errors. Again I don’t want to be an asshole but I think you should practice you´re writing more before you publish anything, just some friendly advice lol! Then again, what would you expect from someone who writes woodcore? Micor is just so much better, plus it´s cannon‘

Timothy was shocked, how could somebody say that to them? After all their hard work, this was it? Was this really how the fandom would remember them? Just another failed author like so many others before them? No that couldn’t be it, obviously this person didn’t know what they were talking about. After all they seemed to believe that Micor was somehow superior to Woodcore. Their bad taste had to be reason why they were being so rude, people just couldn’t accept that Timothy’s fic was better than cannon, and thus they got mad at them. That had to be it, that had to be the reason, Timothy decided! Well then, if they wouldn’t accept a ship unless it was cannon, then it was a good thing that Timothy was such a good matchmaker… at least in their own opinion.

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 Dipper was bored, and considering that he was an ultra-powerful demon who could alter reality at his will and make anything he wanted (well almost anything) happen with a snap of his fingers, that was really saying a lot. So when he felt the familiar tug of a summons, one that felt vaguely like he should already know the summoner, he didn’t hesitate to follow it! It felt too weak to be Mizar summoning him. He thought that maybe Cassie had managed to find his circle again and needed some homework help, or maybe it was a cult that had summoned him before that he´d just forgotten about, however he wasn’t prepared for what actually met him the moment he appeared over the circle. He was in somebody´s bedroom. That much was obvious from the bed standing behind him and the posters on the walls and, oh God was that a Twin Souls movie poster? Dipper immediately felt on edge, as he looked down to face whoever had summoned him, and was once again taken aback at what he saw. The child was young, probably in their mid-to-late teens, they had dark skin and bright blue hair, and was wearing a white dress shirt and black slacks (Dipper had to admit, they had good taste in fashion), but what really caught the demons attention was the antlers crowning their head.

“w̞͚̕hy̤̟̖̬̝͜ ̡͔̞̤h̢͓ͅa̶͖̻͖v̵̗̻̞͉̘e͢ ̸̹̳̱̪ͅy͔̜͞o̠̘u̢͖̫ ̯̺͕͍̦͙ͅsư͖̯̯̠̭͔m̰̼̪̭̺̱̖m͢o̷n̻̘e̘͔̗̳̲͟d͏͕͖̩̖ ̼̮̥͚͚͙̦͘m̥̺̤̣̯̘e̸͈ͅ?” Dipper asked, because this child might have his brothers’ soul, but they also had Twin Souls posters on all their walls and Dipper didn’t want to take any chances.

“Oh great, hot and powerful Alcor!” the child spoke “I have summoned you here because I wish to help aid you in your great quest for love!”

…. Okaaaay that was weird and not at all what Dipper had expected. The shock must have been visible on his face, because the child looked worriedly at him and asked 

“Is everything okay Al? You don’t look very good, are you sick?”      

Dipper just sighed. 

”l͚͓̟̱̻̠o̪͎ok̺̣̰̭ ͚̫ki̘̥̮̮͕d̩̱̘͚̫̘̬” Dipper began, “I ̹d̠͈o ̱͕̳̪̮͇̲n͕͕̩̖͙o͍̻̠̝̳t̠̻̫̻̳̳ ̬͇̭̬̪͎n̹ee͙̰̲d̬ ̖̺̯y͈͙͚͈o̭̪̯̘̰u̺̺r ̻̤ͅͅh̗͔͉̠̣̘e̺̪̲̞lp̣̭,̹̼̤̥ ̤͍̮̰̺I̲͖͕̫̲̮ ͙͈̝a̪͎͔̲m̼͚̼̝̯ ̗̭̬̘͕̣̰n̲͙o͓̺ͅt ͙͇͓̻̖͚͓i̬̻̤̗̳n̞͙v͍̖̭͎̖̘̱o͇l̙v̙̥̬̝͔͙̹e̞̥̹̞͚d̳͔̯ ͉͎̫̘̫͔͈i͍̲n̦̖̪͔̥̗ ̪͙̰̜a̮̜̲͎͇̯ny̗̣ͅ

ġ͉r̼͎̘̩̰e̟̹͇͛ͥą̒̔̊̌t͙̙ͨͪͮ͗ ̖̮̦̝̙̐̓͆́qͭ̓̋̔ͯͮu̺ͨͮ̏ͬ̉ͅě͓̘̱̰͈̼s̻̭̹͗̊t͆̆ͣ̐͛̾͛̕ ̓̓̌ͫ��̗̩f̭͔͔̼̟̗̞ͭ̃̃̽̒̕o̢̭̲̙̻̻̣ͯͦ̔̏͐r͙̉ͯ͛̒͠ ̖̌ͤl̻̻͖ͯ̂ͮ̊̔̚ȏ͍̟̅̓͗͟v̸̠̹̾̇e͇͕̠̝̦͌̈́͆͊͑̽ a̘͈̭͖̣̰n̥͓̳̱̳͓̝d̖̯͈ ̲̼n̺̯̦o̠. ̜̗Iț͙̙̫´̗̦s͍̘̹͇ ̗͓̪͕n͕o̬͓t͇̥̳̫ͅ ̪b̼̞e̟̳̞̺͎̥c͇͙̥̱̻̬͎aṵ̥͕͎se̦̺̘ ̤̬̮͚͙̞M͕̯͉͚̙̤̩i͈̜̞z̲͉̱̖̝͇͎a̤r͓͔̜̬̗̟̞ a̟͍͖͎̫͈n̺̤͉͔̪d͔͍̟̜̗̭͚ ̖̻I̟̪ a̮r̳̞ͅe͕̳͚ ̹̲̭̩͖͍͖a̪̖̞͔̥͖ͅl̙͍r̭e̝̼͈̥a̙̝͉͈ḍ̩y̭̭̺͎̯̖ ̱̦̮̣͚͎̟d̪̼̻̼a̞̥̫̞̙̳͎t̙̼̲i͕̩̲̼̗̻̳n̦̗͚̥̹g̮͉̬͎͙ ͈̩͔in͓̯ ̫͎̤f͔ͅac͍̝̗̺͇ṭ̩̠̟ ̼͎̭̰̞I´͔m͈̝̜̘̦̬̻ ̱̫n̮͙͔̘̺̖͚o͍͎͕͓̪t̰͚̣̯̠ ͚̮̜̩̖e͙v̩̣̝ͅe̘̺̰n̪̣̭ ̩͎̣͕i͚͈̖n̲̹̘t̜̖͙̜ͅͅͅer͓̭̪͙͈̱͎e̜s͚̠̻t̻̯͇͈̘e̦̖̫d͕̥ i̮̥̮ͅn̤̣̲̦̲̬̺-”

The child cut him off before he could finish his sentence 

“pffft I know that! As if you and Mizar could ever be a real couple. It’s so obviously not happening, I don’t even get why people bother to ship you two in the first place.”

Well that was DEFINITELY not what Dipper had expected. Just a few moments before he’d been ready to just leave and get out of there as fast as possible, but he was now curious, perhaps this child did have something worthy of his time to offer after all (and even if not, just spending some time with his brother would be nice) 

“Okay ̴th̀en,̡ t͜e͢ll̴ m̕e ̕Eͮ͊X̅͊ͯͪ͗̓A̔͂̐̿̋Ċ̛̓̓T̨ͣ̀̏̓L̀ͧ͌Y̅͋͑ͩͭ wh̨at y͞o̡u w̢ant.̵” ̂ͥ̆̿̚Dipper demanded, adjusting his position in the air so that he was floating cross-legged above the circle.

“Easy,“ the child said with a confident and knowing expression on their face “I know who you really love. And I´m guessing you haven’t confessed to him yet because you’re too shy. So, I´m offering to help coach you, trust me I’m great at encouraging people, and in return you could… uh, I dunno, make sure the fandom knows you love him I guess? And put an end to Micor ones and for all, what do you say?” the child took a step forward and reached out their hand to Dipper, seemingly ready to shake on it. Dipper had to admit that their offer was tempting, he´d love to see Micor shippers finally realize that it wasn’t cannon and leave him alone, however there was one detail in what the child had said that was bothering him 

“And̕ ͠w͝h͢o, i̴f҉ ̴I ͝mąy̵ aşk, ͜is ̨i͝t t̷hat ͠you ̷thìnk̢ ҉I͏ ͞l̸o͠ve̴?”  

The child grinned at him 

“The Woodsman of course!” they exclaimed and nooooooo, nope not doing this, Dipper was so DONE with this! 

“u̷͘m̨m͏͞ ̵̸y͢͏e͘͏a̵h͏̢,͟ ̴̨t̛h͘͠a̷͠͝t̡̀̕´̸s̛͟..͡.̡̛ ̛͜N͏̀͡o̡҉͏t̡̕͠ ̶̀h̨͠͞a͘҉̡p̡̧p̀͝é́n̵̡i͞n͞g̵̕.͘ ̷͏S̷o̧r҉r̕͜y͏̷̨ ̢́k͟i̛͠d͏̴͘!̧” “But wait!” the child cried out in shock, but Dippers form was already getting blurry, and before they could say more, he vanished.

Well so much for spending time with his brother. Oh well, there´d be more chances, hopefully Henry’s next incarnation wouldn’t be as weird as this one.

 ----------------

 Timothy stared in disbelief at the circle where Alcor had been floating just moments earlier. Why had he left? Did Timothy say something wrong? He probably got overwhelmed by happiness when Timothy understood his feelings, and got so confused he had to leave and gather his thoughts. Or maybe just being summoned like this finally gave him the courage to confess his love, and he left to do it immediately! That had to be it, totally!  

Timothy smiled proudly to themselves, knowing that they had been able to help Alcor with his love problems. And now all that was left to do was wait for the demon to make his affair public, in the meantime though, Timothy had more fanfics to write, and this summoning had given them the perfect fic idea. It would require some really good writing skills to get it perfect though. Oh well, good thing Timothy was such a good writer…

 … In their own opinion!  

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zalgo transcriptions for those who need it:

"why have you summoned me?" "I do not need your help, I am not involved in any great quest for love, and no it's not because Mizar and I are already dating in fact I'm not even interested in-" "okay, then tell me EXACTLY what you want" "and who, if I may ask, is it that you think I love?" "umm yeah that's... not happening. Sorry kid"