#some of you may disagree and many won't even give it a chance because of the art style but lower decks is the only good new trek show imo

[hooved]

so fucking glad that picard (the show) only has one episode left and then it's completely over. now if only they'd just stop making new star trek shows altogether unless it has an entirely original cast. i'm so tired of them trying to do more shit with TOS and TNG and just ruining it

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

"gestures & sounds & nonverbal communication is (no tech) AAC. (AAC = augmentative & alternative communication. nonverbal communication = communication without words/language, not communication from nonverbal people)

"texting, writing, posting on social media, all actually accepted versions of AAC."

or thjs very old post from 2023 by assistiveware, an AAC company, creator of proloquo series:

[ID: screenshot of @ AssistiveWare instagram post. post itself is light purple background with dark purple text. bold text read “Social media, texting and tweeting are basically large scale socially accepted AAC systems." below that not bold text say " - Saoirse Tilton, AAC user." at very bottom have AssistiveWare contacts and logo. end ID]

are all things have heard people say when try explain to people who have no idea what AAC is.

is this true? are these AAC? are people who use these thus AAC users?

other AAC users may feel differently, n by no means am dictator of AAC, but as someone who nonverbal full time AAC user, personally really hate this, disagree - or at least disagree w this unnuanced explanation, especially when use with beginners or people who never in their life heard acronym AAC. find it counter productive, even more harm than good.

or, say different, personally: gestures, body language, mouth sounds, drawing, texting, writing, social media, these not AAC by default. in certain situations/context, AAC users may use these as AAC or AAC-adjacent (context-dependent, user-dependent). but saying “all these AAC” without more explain & nuance, false & irresponsible.

because, again, AAC, stand for augmentative and alternative communication. or, put into sentence, typically seen as "non-oral/mouth speech communication that augment (add to) and/or use as alternative to (replace) oral/mouth speech."

(* say "typically" because there people who can't spell thus can't type, who use button-based AAC to replace that. but this typically not what people mainly mean when say "AAC")

but, include & on top of all that, in current world AAC have extra layer of connotation (idea/ feeling/association on top of what it literally mean) of... it not standard. it not typical. it not the norm. it transgressive. people/norm expect something. u giving them another.

for better—me be nonverbal AAC user do make me different than verbal people, do give me different access needs, in world not designed for me. it make me different (unique). n want that difference acknowledged, instead of toxic positivity assimilation "you just the same" out of pity only

or for worse—be treat as second class citizens. oral speech be seen as better than AAC. have communication AAC not listened to or thrown out, which some AAC users have experienced in legal/law/police/abuse report situations. we treated differently (worse).

people whose mouth speak works won't use AAC. AAC is what come next when that not work or may not work.

different (positive). different (neutral). different (negative).

transgressive.

.

people w complex communication needs, n by extension AAC users, we treated horribly by society & by people in society. we get teased, bullied, ignored, abused, abused & not able communicate it, but we not just get mistreated on individual-level. often we denied right to communicate, right to education, n other human rights. many of us forced to live in silence, because we not given communication tools, or support for develop communication. sometimes police, testimonies, & official legal records not see our AAC communication as real communication.

our non-oral speech communication get seen as less legit than oral speech. other people’s oral speech get automatic listened to before our own. we denied communication tools that may help us thrive because people around us want us to speak orally & think any other tool will take away our hypothetical chance to talk fluently reliably via mouth.

everyone communicate in variety of ways. body language on purpose, body language not on purpose, gestures, pointing, vocal sounds, drawing, writing, texting, via showing pictures. for most verbal people, these communication are normalized. no one bat an eye when person giving speech use body language persuade audience, or when you show friend picture of your lunch when you struggling explain it. but us, who can’t fully rely on oral speech, we need rely on these more. heavier. more intentionally. more on purpose. but ours gets dismissed. gets ignored on purpose.

so, really do understand trying to reframe AAC to people who not know what it is, or people resistant to it. that we all use it. that they use it. that they listen to other verbal people who using it. so ours should be listened to, too.

but that’s the thing: everyone communicate in variety of ways. n for most verbal people, those are normalized.

make text post in social media where expect text post norm is text post suppose to write text (may even not have audio option), and, use non-mouth speak communication (or not use mouth speak) in person when all people mouth talk all expect you mouth talk. fundamentally different.

second thing get you ableism. get make fun & mock at best, in conversation get ignored at best. at worst, get hate crimed, get killed, get wrong convicted, or in medical situation see as justify for not need consent or reason ignore what you say or reason declare incompetent.

first thing. well, who get be on social media full of privilege & discrimination, who get heard on social media full of that, who get bully & make fun of for writing "wrong" for content full of that (race, class, dis/ability, etc). but, struggle think of time where act of make text post on social media where expect post text post is.. that.

there difference between writing text post in tumblr or any text-based social media, or text fun friend group where you all miles apart n all texting, vs texting in group chat when sit irl with friend group who all orally talking, different, or person using letter board to spell out everything they want to say.

there difference between showing your friend picture of your dinner when it too complicated to explain n clearer in picture when you bump into eachother n start mouth chatting, vs using symbol based communication in high tech speech generating device or low tech picture cards, or even AAC user having unique relationship with art n see that as way of communicate.

maybe in another world or in future, second group get as normalized as first. but we not there. and AAC users who use most basic, fundamental, narrowest definition of AAC, we exist right now in real life, we not theory or theoretical.

in average face to face situation, even verbal person use more nonverbal communication than verbal ones.

are all communication that not oral speech, AAC?

trying to normalize AAC, but end up erasing our differences (differences can be factual. neutral.), assimilating us, turning a word that have specific meanings for us into something so wide, it useless to those of us who most impacted, those of us who need it.

there better way to explain we all use things other than oral/mouth speech to communicate than “they *are* AAC” for everyone, in every situation. (n yes, people DO say that)

if anyone with similar feelings with simpler way put it, please do. it too complex n abstract in brain, n not have scripts or “table of contents” in brain that already exist for it, so feel like wrote bunch of confusing nothing.

[rewrite of old post for AAC awareness month. so parts that sound bit different, that why (copy paste).]

[writtenicarus]

Why AFTG sucks but doesn't suck

Okay so I swear that will make more sense in a minute. The main point I'm trying to tackle here is why, despite its notable flaws, AFTG "sucks" to other readers but not to its fandom. Trigger warnings for basically every triggering topic in AFTG.

You may realise the majority of people who dislike AFTG have little to no understanding of the characters flaws - and that's because they cannot relate to the characters. They may criticise by saying Andrew is abusive or Nicky is too sexual. But the majority of fans disagree, and here's why. They can relate. Andrew is a victim of rape, child rape, and that is VERY recognised in the story and in his character and whilst many who are unfamiliar with this variation of trauma see his actions as abusive, fans of the series and in some cases victims of it themselves such as myself, see his behaviour as liberation. We see it as him taking back control.

Furthermore, with Nicky, people see his behaviour as creepy. I understand some fans POV is the same but to understand my point of view of the Nicky/Neil I did do an extensive explanation in the past but I want to delve deeper in the future, it's up on my Instagram around July 2022 if you want to read it. Moving on, I do not see it as creepy. His confidence in his sexuality and confidence in himself and his kindness I see as an act of freedom. Nicky is finally away from his abusive household where he was shunned and traumatized for who he was (remember the fact he went to conversion "therapy"??) and now he doesn't have to experience that. He's free. It's so beautiful to see and he is my favourite character. Keeping in mind, he gave up said freedom with Eric to come back and look after the twins, one of which he had never met or heard of.

There are a lot of other examples I could use, but the point is, the majority of people who claim AFTG is simply unrealistic thankfully haven't experienced the trauma many of the fans have who are able to relate to each character. And that's why AFTG will never suck. It can't suck - it's freeing and liberating.

Another thing I'd like to note is why I believe despite MANY flaws Nora is an incredibly intelligent author. So many under-represented groups were heard and targeted in AFTG and one of the reasons why AFTG is so "underground" or disliked away from the fact it's old and self-published is the fact it has such a minute target audience. And considering all things that happen in the book, some may question my phrasing of that so let me explain.

It's not the variations of trauma or events that are minute but the fact and extent of the trauma the characters experience and their reactions to it. All of the foxes are flawed - that's the point. And none of their responses to their trauma are healthy - that's the point.

The foxes can be seen as a representation of the minority of people who respond to their trauma in negative ways and the whole point of the book is to give these people second chances. And that's again why so many feel seen.

To summarize, I just personally believe that without a very self-aware or understanding mindset a lot of the people who cannot relate to either of the foxes simply just won't and did not like this book and even call it problematic. I'm not saying these people are narrow-minded (they are) but if we look at the large minority of readers who disliked the books that's the case and those who could relate but still label it as problematic probably could not understand why the foxes responded the way they did, and that's okay.

[petalsmooth]

I understand Portia.

I even think she is probably, in many ways, good representation for the life of a women in her position in regency England. Often you see mothers portrayed as empty headed, uneducated you wonder how they manage a household. Kind of like in Sense and Sensibility. Which I am not saying is untrue representation particularly as written in the era but I don't think all women were like that. They couldn't afford to be. They were few avenues for survival for women in their position and I absolutely can understand a woman like Portia being singularly focused less on their feelings and more on trying to provide them the security she did not have by any means necessary.

It doesn't change that she never even treated Penelope as she did the other two. They completely wrote Penelope off as a prospect. It's not like her two other daughters were amazing prospects themselves. They did not pay any attention to her, obviously. How else would Pen be able to sneak off to the printer's so often? She told her she is basically a fool for hoping for a match. Then when Pen scraps one up that's in wealth and title higher than anything the other two did, only then is she proud of her. Up until he doesn't propose. She's going to say some pretty ugly things when learns of the engagement too and just simply put...she's abusive to Penelope.

She says she's doing it to give her daughters a better life than she had but that is true of two daughters. At best maybe she feels she has done right by her in sense Pen won't starve from lack of food but she's clearly starving for approval, affection, attention...a big reason why she wouldn't want to give up W.D in fact.

Which is another big reason why I am not entirely on board with how they have presented the w.d issue up to this point because it's been so one sided in how people react with assumptions being made about her that just aren't true. And why I still am mad at Eloise because not ONCE has she taken a moment to think her conclusions may not have been accurate as to reasons for the column. She simply does not care to listen to Penelope. But she'll listen to Cressida...Pen's bully.

And even there by ep 4 you can see how alone Eloise actually is because Cressida doesn't listen to her, the way she never listened to Pen. Although to be fair, in upcoming ep Eloise isn't listening to Cressida either so neither are particularly good at listening. When Cressida abandons Eloise mid sentence on one of her rants (one of the few times Eloise looks like her old animated self)...you can feel the absence of where Pen used to be. You can also see still not really aware of anything but her own world, because your new best "friend" is clearly worried will be married to an old lecher and focused on trying to prevent it. Eloise doesn't have that fear because privileged with her family. But also apparently her brother causing a scandal interrupting a courting couple still doesn't make her think...uh...wait...are there romantic feelings here?

I'm sure I'm not going to like everything said in the Pen and Colin argument because I clearly disagree with the writers on their slant of the column, but at least with Colin this is his best friend, fiancé and lover...they have a very intimate relationship, he gave her chances to open up to him and he really hadn't done wrong by her outside of the one time at a ball. He wasn't Eloise running through London unchaperoned with young single men and in my view should consider if Pen really wanted to ruin her would have said that. He also does not have all the details. Eloise had details and decided to take no ownership for her own actions. But however he moves past it, we know won't cut off contact for 6-8 months because she is too important to him to completely walk away.. She's important to Eloise too, but not more than Eloise's pride is important to her.

On one hand I want that friendship repaired because I miss their chemistry onscreen, I hate her with Cressida. I watched the whole show but I mostly fw through their scenes now because there is NO chemistry there. On other hand I don't want them as friends if Eloise remains the same self centered person using Pen as a sounding board but not accepting Pen if she deviates at all from her opinion. I mean Eloise actually said they used to plot to be spinsters together and thought that was what Pen wanted. I know it's taken from the book and I like that detail but it just shows how little attention paid to Pen. Did Pen really talk excitedly about that prospect Eloise, or did she merely go along with it because though no one would ever want her? Because I would guess the latter. Or did she merely not contest the idea with Eloise would suggest and presume Pen was onboard? I could see that too...

[dangermousie]

@teafiend

#kdrama#youtube#flower of evil#okay OP you made me want to give this drama a chance again#wanted to watch so much because of LJK and I know MCW will be amazing#but it was not easy to go into#and after Beyond Evil (an amazing show I dislike)#I am extremely wary of shows which just focus on the men/MCs (NO thank you)#BE was such a thrilling but torturous watch#emotionally exhausting#and if at least the narrative is focused on the FMC still can seriously consider again#I hope there is payoff in FoE#because I am beyond sick of shows which only have men/MCs as the start and focus#unapologetic men-hater#and I avoid those assiduously now#even supposedly rom-coms which focus more on the MCs 🤢🥱#even the few male actors I like#can’t stand them getting main focus now (looking at you ‘Crazy Love’)#give me women-heavy/women-centric stories#waiting for ‘Jeong Nyeon’ to save me for real#putting FOE back higher on the TBW list#heard so many good things but had a difficult time getting into it#must try again#there must be good reasons it was celebrated#same for BE (which was brilliant just does not mean I have to like it)#but Moon Chae Won remains the main right?#that would make a major difference

Honestly, I am not sure you'll like FoE because while yes, it's not as male centric as eg Beyond Evil, and MCW chara is very important/prominent etc, I think ultimately it IS more Lee Joon Ki's character's story than hers. Maybe 60-40 but not 50-50. And certainly not with her having more prominence over him.

I am actually a big fan of "even if everyone else loves it/thinks it's high quality, if it doesn't click, there is no point forcing because it won't." So if you tried it and it didn't click and the concept is iffy, I'd say not bother and go for something that would appeal more. It doesn't matter how well it's made if it has a precept that doesn't work for you. I mean, I don't love Nirvana in Fire the same way literally everyone else does because the message of it is one I disagree with utterly (about whether Wang Kai's character is in any way suited to be king, but that's a rant I made before.)

If you are looking for heavily female-centric stories, have you tried Chinese harem stories like Ruyi's Royal Love in the Palace, Empresses in the Palace, Story of Yanxi Palace etc. Or some of the longer, female centric sageuks like Queen Seon Duk, Empress Ki, The Iron Empress, Cruel Palace. They may be more your bag.

If you want a somewhat more modern one and don't mind older dramas, then perhaps Daemul/Big Thing, about a fictional female president of Korea.

Watching BE made me think of Flower of Evil, hands down my favorite kdrama of the last 5 years.

I almost didn't check it out despite being a rabid Lee Jun Ki and Moon Chae Won fangirl because the set up of "police woman wife begins to suspect her seemingly perfect husband is a serial killer and a cat and mouse game begins" was not at all my thing - like it was either gonna be a woman in peril story or a cat and mouse between a killer and cop and neither is my thing at all. Why cast actors so known for their on-screen chemistry and emotional chops in this wondered I.

I checked it out expecting nothing and GOD IT OWNED ME BODY AND SOUL

Watching it unspoiled as it aired was a wild wild wild experience and I totally understand why the promos didn't tell more than they did even if it was misleading as hell about the ultimate story because it really placed the viewer in the position of Ji Won (and her gradual discovery of who her husband really is) AND Hyun Soo/Hee Sung who himself genuinely didn't even know what type of person he was either thanks to all the trauma and fucking with he had; and even the whole "well he acts off, he has to be shady and/or a killer" vibe of the initial narrative was a great choice because it really went into "well, you see why the world thinks he's like that; you did too" - it made you a culpable bystander of sorts - like you wouldn't have been any different than all the suspicious people if you were in the story.

Going from "well, he def acts like psychopath/serial killer" to "but a bunch of things don't really seem to fit into that paradigm, ummm" to "he fucking did nothing wrong ever other than being traumatized and possibly not neurotypical leave him the fuck alone" was a TRIP!

Also, God they are one of my fave drama OTPs of all time.

[sabishi-tomo]

AnS Chapter 131 Rough Summary

Since the full translation of the latest chapter won't be out for another week or more, I did a rough translation for the starving ZenYuki fans in the AnS Discord. I was asked to post it on Tumblr too, so here it is! It's under the cut for peeps who want to avoid spoilers.

Note that I have mediocre proficiency in Japanese so there may be inaccuracies. There's a reason I'm editor on the Clarines Press team and not the translator!

Summary under the cut!

The OT5 have dinner

So, at first, the OT5 are talking about Ryuu and his new assignment. Mitsuhide expresses surprise because originally he didn't think Ryuu would fit in Lilias. Obi says this subject still makes Shirayuki sad, Mitsuhide apologizes for bringing it up. Shirayuki says it's okay because she'll continue to feel like that for a while. Zen talks about Garak moving to respond to the wishes of her precious students, Kiki mentions having been worried about Ryuu being buried in the snow when he first came to Lilias. Then, Mitsuhide mentions that he was shocked to see Ryuu talk to so many people at the Rugilia estate (he's referring to after the perfume incident was over).

That reminds Zen about the Rugilia Banquet. Zen asks if Shirayuki and Obi cleared up Lord Eisetsu's misunderstanding. Shirayuki and Obi are confused at first but then they understand what he's talking about.

Mitsuhide: What happened? Kiki: To keep Eisetsu-sama from approaching Shirayuki, Hisame-dono made him believe that she was in love with Obi. Obi: It's a misunderstanding that Kiki-jo's husband needs to clear up. Zen: I don't understand how Kiki's fiance did it... Mitsuhide (to Shirayuki): How did you do it? Kiki: 10 seconds. [Gotta love our girl Kiki, so concise.]

Anyway, Zen cuts of the 10 second count at 8 seconds since Shirayuki starts combusting at the 7 second mark. Mitsuhide: I understand now... Shirayuki: I'm sorry... There's some banter between Kiki and Obi, and then- Zen: If you guys want to keep talking about the evening party you were at and drink, do what you want. Mitsuhide: I wasn't there, though... Zen: Shirayuki, let's have tea at the market.

Obi, Mitsuhide, and Kiki high five each other as soon as Zen and Shirayuki leave. Mitsuhide accidentally demonstrating the '10 seconds-to-fall-in-love' thing was no accident 🤭. By goading Zen, they were giving Shirayuki and Zen an opportunity to leave and have some alone time.

Obi's conversation with Mitsuhide and Kiki

Obi jokes about Zen not taking him out (but at least Zen bought him a drink). Kiki reminds Obi that he got a chance to talk to Zen at the Rugilia mansion after the perfume incident. Obi says they haven't exhausted convo yet. Mitsuhide says Shirayuki said not to bug Obi (at Rugilia mansion) because he was resting. Obi says that's weird because he does rest when he's with Shirayuki. Mitsuhide seems to disagree about whether Obi is truly resting.

Kiki: I guess Shirayuki got to know Obi well in their time together. Mitsuhide (seeing Obi's surprised face): Hmm? Is it surprising? Shirayuki cherishes you and your relationship with her. You don’t think it’s just your own will alone by which you are staying by Shirayuki’s side, do you? Obi: No... I know that in my own way. The young miss tells me that kind of thing. There's some more banter between Kiki and Obi. Kiki: I wonder where Zen and Shirayuki went. Mitsuhide: Ah~! I think they're going back to the base for a cup of tea. You see, we're leaving together tomorrow. That's why I left a room next to Zen's for Shirayuki to sleep in. Obi: What about me? Mitsuhide: You have a room in the base.

Zen and Shirayuki's date

Zen: I want to see if you are red. Why hide it? And then he says the Japanese expression of fond exasperation "まったく / mattaku". Anyway, I interpreted it as Zen wanting to see Shirayuki's blush from her staredown with Mitsuhide. Shirayuki: Thanks to the street lights, we still have time. (This is a reference to the end of last chapter, where Zen said it was already dark even though they finally had time together) Zen: Like this, the night will be longer.

Zen: Which tea stalls are good? Where should we sit? Shirayuki: Um, Zen, you're going back to your room at the base, right... Zen: Yeah... should we go back? There's only one room though... Shirayuki: (Shirayuki falters here a bit about what she wants to say) I... I still. I still wanted to stay with Zen. If you'll give me some time. I want to talk and drink flower tea until we get sleepy. Shirayuki: L-Lucian flower tea is what I want... Shirayuki (blushes then points): I think it's in the stall up there! I'll get you some.

Zen: Shirayuki, let's go together... (Shirayuki has run off)

Shirayuki remembers previous convo, from the inn in Ch 100. Zen had asked her then [What type of flower is in this tea?]. She basically ran off to compose herself because she is having trouble expressing her true desire of wanting to stay at the inn from last time.

Note that this is the inn that serves great food and tea, but you have to check-in for the night, it's not a restaurant. Last time, when they were trapped in the snowstorm, Shirayuki was uncomfortable because they were seemingly unchaperoned (they didn't know that Obi, Mitsuhide, Kiki were there too) and she probably doesn't want to burden Zen by going through that again. Last time she said, "Is it really okay for me to share the same room as his Highness, Prince Zen?"

Shirayuki (to herself): No matter how long you want to stay, we can’t stay at an inn. It's okay, Zen didn't realize. Zen comes back to find Shirayuki. Zen: Did you say Lucian? It's not here. Before, I had a cup of that flower tea with you.

Thanks to @alexmeli50 for the raws!

[ingravinoveritas]

I'm super curious about Anna's part in Last Train For Christmas, actually. I would like her to positively surprise us. I really want to give her a chance, I think sometimes part of the fandom is a tad too toxic.

As a long-time fan of Michael I really have been actively trying to properly like her. I honestly feel like some people are very unreasonable and unfair and exaggerate their points, trying to force a negative narrative. Personally, I feel uncomfortable with the whole 'baby trapped' argument. I think that it's not only disrespectful towards her but also towards Michael. Sometimes, we all need to take a step back and remember that we don't know them or their relationship and there's no need to be exessively mean or salty or cynical, I think.

I, for one, have nothing against Anna. Properly liking her, the way most Tennant fans adore GT, is a bit difficult, though. Even for me, who'd love to. I admit that. I think that is because Anna just doesn't put a lot of herself out there. Which is her good right, but which ultimately also means that there is next to no visible personality for us fans to like. (But also none to dislike, in my opinion). Next to GT, Anna is rather bleak, from a fan perspective, not only regarding her presence on Instagram and Twitter, but also her acting. She really wasn't all that good in Staged, her acting was a little too forced and much less convincing than GT's and Lucy's, who, I thought, were actually really good. Anna was okay, but not much better than any of us would have been, or so I think. Medicore, even if I don't like saying it. So I think that even if you don't like GT you have to admit that she has all the authenticity that Anna sadly appears to lack. GT is a bit brisk sometimes, that is true, but I never minded that, because at least she's being real. If you compare both her social media presence as well as her talent as an actress with Anna, then of course Anna won't be able to shine much, I get that.

(What I'd find problematic is comparing the Tennant marriage with Michael's and Anna's relationship. I don't think a lot of relationships can live up to the bond DT and GT have and have had for so many years, if we are being honest. I've never "obsessed" over David (although he was well known to me before GO and I always liked him), so I never checked every single video or post, but it was still obvious that they're best friends as much as husband and wife. Compared to them, Michael and Anna really haven't been together for long.)

I think it's unfair to judge Anna's character or her and Michael's relationship, is what I'm saying. I think it's fair to judge her acting, though. Anna no doubt got the part because of Michael, but I don't understand why people would be annoyed by that. Good for her, isn't it? Let her be. Let's see how she does, before the joking starts. I'd love for her to do well, to be honest. Sure, people don't have to like her (although, again, since she's so inconspicuous I don't see how there's anything to dislike to begin with, so then, to me, it just seems like dragging her just for the sake of it), but they don't have to be unreasonably harsh and cynical...

Hi Anon. First, let me thank you for voicing your message constructively and without being rude, unlike the anon I answered just previously. I think we agree on some things and disagree on others, which is very normal and healthy, and now that you’ve respectfully shared your position, I’d like to share mine.

While yes, it is true that AL has not put a lot of herself out there, that’s only really become true over the last several months (especially given that she only ever posts on Twitter to promote something related to herself). But earlier this year--as well as last year--she put forward plenty of her personality, which may now be why she’s gone so quiet. Most of her personality (now) seems to be borrowed from Georgia, or crafted/boosted by PR efforts, and I suspect that may be because what she put out there on her own did not go over well. I’m namely speaking of things like “supporting” BLM (by posting links that were broken) or the victims of the explosion in Beirut when they were trendy/in the news and then never mentioning them again. Things like a post from her Facebook (before it was scrubbed) making an extremely tasteless “joke” about AIDS, or a more recent post on Insta from when they were in NYC wishing that people would fall through the ice.

But what I’m mainly talking about is her repeated posts making fun of Michael’s appearance. I’ve mentioned on my blog previously about how Michael has said he is insecure/self-conscious about his looks, especially during lockdown last year, when he was visibly depressed and not taking care of himself. So it’s truly galling that this was when AL started dropping passive-aggressive insults about Michael’s appearance all over social media. Calling him a hobbit, Cousin Itt, Hagrid from Harry Potter, making fun of his wig in Quiz (even when he was nominated for a BAFTA). These comments continued into this year, with her again making fun of his appearance (possibly also fat-shaming?) in Prodigal Son by calling him Zach Galifianiakis. Yet three months later he does the Royal Albert Hall event, and suddenly she’s writing things on social media about how wonderful and “attractive” he is, when she’d never said a kind word about his appearance before. She clearly only likes Michael when he looks a certain way that is “acceptable,” and it is disingenuous to me for her to pretend otherwise. The only authentic thing about her seems to be how shallow and superficial she is, and how hard she can push a narrative that she wants to push.

So yes, Anon, I believe it is absolutely fair to judge Anna’s character, and the nicest possible thing I can say is that--much like her acting ability--I have found it lacking.

In terms of Michael and AL’s relationship, I’ve said this previously, but I am not at all comparing their relationship to David and Georgia’s, as I do agree with you that David and GT have known each other a lot longer, are actually married, and so forth. What I am comparing their relationship to is Michael and David’s, and as I have said before...there really is no comparison. For the sake of argument, let’s say both relationships “began” around the same time (Michael filmed GO with David in 2017, and met AL in 2018). Four years later, we can look back and observe the growth and development of these relationships, and one has flourished and deepened and become even more powerful than imaginable...while the other (a relationship that produced a child, no less) has stagnated.

Michael gushes over David. Whether it’s introducing him for the Scottish BAFTAs or presenting him with the NTA Award in September, he just can’t stop talking about David in the warmest and most affectionate terms possible. David turns Michael on in every sense of the word, and he glows when talking about David, as if being lit up from within. In contrast, he is very measured and careful when talking about AL, and almost never brings her up unless prompted to do so. When it comes to her, what he doesn’t say is even more important than what he does, and it’s that lack of emotion and enthusiasm that is so telling.

I think few things sum everything up better than the moment between Michael and David in the press room following the NTAs. Michael’s arm is around David’s waist, pressing gently into the small of his back as one would with a date. It’s relaxed and intimate and sexy all at once, and there is more passion and connection in this brief moment between them than there has ever been between Michael and AL:

Also, regarding her role in Last Train to Christmas, I’m sorry to tell you that I don’t think there are any surprises in store, as according to @invisibleicewands​ who has seen the film, she merely plays herself, and at the same one-dimensional level that she did in Staged. I haven’t yet watched the movie myself, but if folks are interested, I’d be glad to post a review/my assessment once I have.

So I hope this helps to explain my position a bit better, Anon, and to illuminate that I am not trying to drag AL just for the sake of it. Thanks for writing in! x

[billiejean485]

Guys, I reached a final decision. I will not be watching Miraculous anymore.

Enough time has passed for you to know that this is not a 1st April joke.

Yes, I know I've stated this many times before and tried to do so as well. So what changes this time?

The topic of Adrien not being concieved naturally finally reached me from my religion's POV, and, unless the show treats this as a bad decision in the episodes to come, I will not be coming back.

There is also that last glimmer of hope that he may not be a Senti at all, but I won't be staying to find out by watching. I guess I'll check from time to time, if I manage to hold any interest for the show in the future.

Reasons, like I said, are purely religious. I have no intention to support the creation of human beings (or even animals and the like) through magic. Whoever disagrees with that has their own right to do so through their own choice of free will, and I hold my right to not support this one bit.

... I'm really sorry about this. You know I never believed that Miraculous would take this turn.

I don't want to work on an AU or to watch any previous episodes, because these facts were there from the start, just hidden, and I am only getting repulsed over and over again.

This means that I am putting a stop to my fanfic as well.

I'm sorry. I don't know how much you cared about it, but trust me when I tell you that I feel a ton more devastated. Great ideas I had are going to be thrown in the dump and I'm going to forget about many even if I ever get back to this. All of it hurts like hell.

... I guess I don't even have to tell you that I'm going to stop following all the blogs that mainly share MLB stuff and I'm going to lose some really great mutuals and peeps that I looked up to.

This should have been a fun, tooth-rottingly sweet, serotonin inducing show, but it's never going to be the same for me. Maybe Zag will change something in the movie, but I have no intention of giving it a chance unless this has been made clear.

Again, I am so sorry. The biggest blow to me is losing a character I liked so much and which gave me huge amount of inspiration for both drawing and writing. But... you can't be devoted to both your religion and something that goes against it, and I decided to choose the former.

So take care and Godspeed. I'll be changing my Tumblr accordingly in the following days, and I probably won't hang around here much anymore, since I lost the main reason behind it...

[wild-chaser]

so, 9-1-1 and Buddie

I am a bit torn about the fandom recently

On one hand, there are lots of lovely interactions, gifs, and amazing fanfiction circling my dash. It's so positive and uplifting to see this creativity flowing! (and the actors are handsome, so the dash becomes very aesthetically pleasing)

On the other hand, I start seeing some negativity recently. People hating on newer episodes, complaining how it's not what they have signed up for, knit-picking and rolling their eyes oh so loudly.

Apparently there's been some hate towards actors too, but I don't follow those things and as much as I generally disagree, I'm just not up to date with that entire shitstorm -- I am here for the plot, for the characters, not for the actors, even if it does make me smile when I see them elsewhere.

I will not look into their private lives and even official twitter accounts because I am a firm believer that actors' personal lives are just not relevant to the experience (but boy, they can totally destroy the experience if you find out something bad! That's why I try not to, because the character they play is a separate entity but I won't be able to look at them the same way afterwards -- it just sucks my enjoyment out, so what's the point?)

and then there's Buddie

we have shippers and non-shippers, and I feel all the shippers are close to flipping the table recently

now let's make one thing clear: I am a shipper myself

Buddie all the way!

But honestly, let's give this show a chance.

Recently, I have this feeling that every time the show gives us even a glimpse of Buck and Taylor, people lose their shit here.

As if Buck didn't have many girlfriends before! As if Buck having girlfriends wasn't part of why we're so much waiting for him to realize he's into Eddie. The oh-I-thought-I-was-straight-boy getting love-slapped into bisexuality by this wonderful male specimen that is Eddie Diaz. Them jumping from brief-enemies (yeah that was just Buck, I know) to BFFs to casually co-parenting Chris as if it was just the most natural thing in the world. Them being idiots in love while having no damn clue they are in love.

And as I see Buddie fandom on the rise, I see so many voices demanding Buddie to become cannon NOW.

Not this episode? Then surely the next one! Not the next one? GOD DAMN YOU WRITERS! How dare you lead us fangirls astray?!

People, my fellow shippers: how about we take one collective deep breath here?

This story is not over yet. There is (hopefully) rather slim chance of us getting queer-baited by this very rainbow-friendly TV show.

Trust me: if the last episode of 9-1-1 will have Buck and Eddie no-homo'ed with some random women they'd met two episodes earlier, I will be the first one flipping the table, I promise

(╯ರ ~ ರ）╯︵ ┻━┻

But before that happens, how about we stop winding ourselves up for what may turn out to be nothing? Is it really worth it? Does creating drama and overthinking our fears really spark joy?

Remember: if it all actually goes to shit, just flip the table, curse the writers*, and then turn to fanfiction.

Fanfiction will save us.

*but maybe not directly, personally I find venting on tumblr rather cathartic

[thetrashywritingwitch]

Before you follow:

Please read through this list before you consider following me:

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Fiction is in fact tied in and impossible to separate from reality and what we read and the media we consume affects us in one way or another. Know that I don't agree with the "it's just fiction" or "fiction isn't reality" rhetoric that is often used to defend the above-mentioned "dark content". If you disagree with me, you might not have a good time here on my blog

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There are many popular writers and artists I've blocked over the years for producing content I don't like or think is healthy/I agree with. Again, it's my right and my blog to curate it however I see fit and judge who I want interacting with my posts

My writing schedule is sporadic at the moment and when I update chapters is up to my discretion and free time. I'm an adult with a job, friends, and a partner, so I write when I can but please don't berate me about updating my fics, when I'll write X, etc. I'll get to it when I get to it

[blindingdutchy]

lamentation | FIVE

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 4,111

warnings: mostly fluff, some angst toward the end, mentions of injury

18+!!! minors stay away!

You didn't get much work done with Peter during the weekend. Following your emotional outburst over the argument between the pair of you, Peter stayed at your house surprisingly late into the night. You both seemed to agree the project could wait for a different day, and instead of working you spent the evening talking. While you didn't have much to talk about, Peter had a seemingly endless supply of subject matter to keep you both entertained.

Already you could tell that you were growing attached to him, probably far too much and far too soon, but there was no stopping it any longer. He made you feel good things and gave you a sense of normalcy you'd been craving for so long; there was no way you were giving that up any time soon. If he hurt you in the end, you'd deal with the pain because at least you got a bit of relief in the present.

That Friday evening had been one of the best nights of your life, regardless of how mundane or even boring it probably would have seemed to your younger self. You learned a lot about Peter, more than he'd already forced you to know in the weeks leading up to that night, and you answered all his random and silly questions about yourself. You learned that his favorite colors were red and blue, totally un-ironically, and that he'd gotten his abilities the summer between the eighth and ninth grades.

You also learned that Peter was just as stubborn and competitive as you used to be, and something about that knowledge sparked some of the old flame back into you. So, chasing after the fire that used to warm you, you made a deal with him. If he could prove to you that the Avengers were not as bad as you thought they were, then you would willingly do your speech in favor of the superheroes.

"You--you what?" Peter sputtered, laughing so hard he had to clutch his stomach with both hands and gasp for air, "You really cut the hair off of all of your sister's dolls because she beat you at checkers?"

You snorted, a harsh sound that made your nose ache as you laughed along with him, "Yes! She knew how competitive I was, and she took that risk by challenging me. I never lost a game of checkers again after that."

He slipped into another torrent of giggles much to your amusement, his eyes crinkling at the corners with a beautiful smile that made your own chuckling soften as you found yourself mesmerized by the sight of it. Peter Parker was certainly a very breathtaking spectacle to behold, and you had to wonder why he wasn't so much more popular in school. You knew why, everyone could see the relentless torment that Flash Thompson unleashed on him, but it still made no sense to you.

What was there to dislike about Peter? Just days ago you'd been beyond annoyed by him, and weeks before that you'd been entirely uncaring of his existence, but already that all seemed completely nonsensical to you. Now that you'd let him in, given him a chance, it seemed impossible to ever not like him again.

Wheezing breathlessly, Peter chortled, "I can't even judge you. One time, when Ned and I were thirteen, he bet that he could finish a LEGO set before me. He was going to beat me, and I may have accidentally knocked it off the table so he had to start over."

"So," you finally gasped as you stopped laughing, "so, what you're saying is, you're just as stubborn as I am and we're definitely never going to agree on this project?"

His chuckles slowly died out as he nodded, "I guess so."

You knew what he meant to say, and that was the fact that he didn't feel he was being needlessly stubborn in this situation. This wasn't about competition to him. No, this was about him not seeing himself or his colleagues in a negative light; he couldn't fathom the distaste you had for them.

As much as you disagreed, you could understand that. You could understand how he would see the people he worked alongside as good people. It made sense that he would have a different perspective when he was the one out saving civilians from big and small horrors alike, rather than being the one to suffer the consequences of the destruction that happened as a result.

Along with your understanding, you also didn't think that Peter was a bad person. You couldn't possibly imagine him causing harm, intentionally or not, and maybe that was why you said what you did next. Maybe that was why you proposed, "I'll make you a deal. If you can prove to me that the Avengers are not who I think they are, then I'll take your stance for the speech. Give me a reason to speak positively of them, and I will."

Even now, as you made your way toward your locker at school on Monday, you weren't entirely sure what had made you decide to propose such a thing. You were pretty certain that you were setting Peter up for failure. In your eyes, there wasn't much of anything that Peter could say, do, or show you that would change your mind. Nothing would make what had happened to your sister okay or forgivable.

Yet, he clearly did not feel the same way. Peter looked as if he was walking on sunshine that morning as he pranced along beside you, a triumphant grin on his face as he whispered, "I have a plan."

"A plan?"

He grinned wider as you looked at him curiously, "Yes, a plan. To change your mind."

Quirking an eyebrow expectantly, you waited for him to elaborate as you gathered your things from your locker for class. He never did, only continuing to practically vibrate with excitement beside you in silence. "Are you going to tell me what this plan of yours is?" you prodded.

"No." When you looked at him in confusion he continued, "If I tell you what it is, you're not going to have an open mind. You're going to think of all the reasons it won't change your mind, and then it won't."

Suddenly, you were the one chasing after Peter instead of the other way around. All day you found yourself glancing to him suspiciously and following him around much like he had you in all the weeks leading up to your budding friendship, and it was a big change of pace for you. You felt a little pathetic following him like a lost puppy, but you were nosy and wanted to know what his plan was.

No matter how much you pried, though, he didn't budge. In Calculus he ignored your staring and whispers with a far too smug smirk on his face, though you secretly liked the way it looked on him. Who would have guessed that Peter Parker could be arrogant?

In Gym class he teasingly ran faster than you could keep up the moment you asked again, only slowing down once you begrudgingly promised to leave the subject alone. Though he did tell you he wouldn't run faster than you anyways because people would probably get suspicious if he suddenly turned into a track star. He had to play the roll of the un-athletic nerd regardless.

At lunch he didn't sit with you for the first time since he'd started joining you. He'd waved at you from where he sat with his friends, Ned and MJ, but you found yourself leaving the cafeteria rather than joining him. You weren't ready to take that next step yet; being open with Peter was hard enough, and you weren't ready to have to talk to two more people. Still, you tried to pretend it didn't bother you despite the little sinking feeling you felt in your stomach.

He still sat with you in Speech class, which you were relieved by. Ms. Lovell left everyone to work with their partners on their project, warning the class sternly, "You may have until the end of the semester, but don't slack off now. I'm only giving you two other class periods after now to work on this."

Peter quietly joked, "I bet she just forgot to grade our homework from last week."

When the woman sat down at her desk and pulled over a stack of papers, uncapping her favorite red-glitter pen that she always graded with, you both fell into a fit of giggles that you had to work very hard to keep quiet. It only took one glare from the teacher to have you ducking behind your book to hide how red your face turned, both from embarrassment and repressed laughter. You did, however, notice to fleeting expression of shock on her face to see it was you giggling in her class.

Not much work was done during that class, though for you and Peter the work couldn't be started yet. You still hadn't decided on a stance, and until Peter either succeeded with his plan or failed as you expected, a decision wouldn't be made. Instead, you both whispered to each other about whatever random thoughts seemed to pop into your heads in the moment.

"People are staring at me," you acknowledged, glancing around the class timidly at the sight of many students giving you curious stares, "is there something on my face?"

Peter laughed, though he quickly disguised it as a cough, and responded, "No, they're just confused."

Confused, you furrowed your eyebrows and looked at the boy with the warm brown eyes who was grinning at you proudly. "Why?" you asked, shifting uncomfortably. You were used to people giving you strange looks, but these were different. They weren't looking at you as if they were pitying you, or as if they were waiting for you to finally break down and go crazy. No, now they were looking to you with wonder and interest.

He bit the inside of his cheek, a pensive expression blossoming over his face as he thought of how to say whatever he planned to tell you. For a moment you admired the way his ruffled eyebrows furrowed, his lips pouting slightly as he pursed them in concentration. Only when the strange, old fluttering in your heart and your stomach started to erupt did you look away and wrinkle your nose.

You didn't want to admit it, but you knew exactly what that feeling was. It was a feeling you hadn't encountered since before the incident, and it was a feeling you didn't want to experience now. So, you told yourself it was just nerves over having a friend again, and squashed the stupid butterflies down as hard and as fast as you could.

"Well," Peter finally started, eyes wide and a little nervous as if he expected you to potentially be offended by his words, "you haven't exactly... talked to anyone in awhile."

Suddenly, it clicked. People were staring because you weren't the reclusive, closed-off, depressed girl you had been for the past thirteen months. They were staring because you seemed... happy. "Oh." you nodded, the sound feeble and slightly broken, "I guess that makes sense."

People were staring at you because you were the girl with the dead sister who they'd been waiting to witness implode, and suddenly you were talking, and laughing, and smiling. You were talking, laughing, and smiling with Peter Parker, no less. They were looking at you because you seemed fine.

Were you fine? Peter shot you a few concerned glances as you seemed to slip back into the repression you'd been living in for so long, but you gave him a small smile as if to say, "I'm okay." You were okay.

For the first time since she died, now that you really thought about it, you truly felt okay. You felt good. You felt happy. Sure, you were terrified of the little flutters you felt whenever you stared a little too long at Peter's face, and you still felt all the bad things you'd been feeling, but now you had good things to balance them out.

It would have been so easy to slip back into that cycle of beating yourself up again. That little voice in the back of your head was still there, the one that sounded like your sister but so different at the same time, that told you that you didn't deserve to have friends. You didn't deserve to make new friends, or feel those butterflies that meant something more, not when she couldn't do those things ever again.

It would have been easy, but you didn't want that for yourself anymore. If you did that, if you pushed Peter away because of her, then you would be left with all the bad feelings and more of them. You didn't deserve that. So, you took a deep breath, and gave a more genuine smile, and met the stares head on. She would have wanted you to be happy, and you deserved to be happy.

After school, Peter left you with a swimming mind and a million thoughts of what his plan could be. He didn't mention anything, and you wondered how long you would have to wait for whatever it was to come to fruition. What could it be?

You spent the afternoon in the family room, an action that seemed to startle and befuddle your parents who watched you like hawks. Though they didn't say anything, only greeting you casually as if everything were totally normal, you could practically hear the gears turning in their heads. You could imagine their thoughts of, "Who is this alien that looks like our child?"

As confused as they were, eventually the decided to just go with it. Your mom curled up on the sofa with you, and your father fell into his recliner just like old times, and the three of you watched a movie in a comfortable silence. Well, mostly comfortable. Nobody dared to look at or acknowledge the empty middle cushion on the sofa where she'd always sat, or your mother's empty lap that she mindlessly kept brushing her hands over as if waiting for your sister's head to be laying there waiting for her hair to be played with.

Nobody dared, until you did. You weren't entirely sure what compelled you to do it. It seemed as if you were urged to do lots of things you thought you never would these days. But, after half an hour of watching your mother's twitching hands, you laid your head on her lap and closed your eyes to avoid seeing her face.

After a moment, her fingers brushed through your wind-tangled hair and you felt peace. She had always been the one to do this. She had always been the one to burrow her way into your mother's lap, begging to have her scalp massaged or her back traced delicately, and now you understood why. It was comforting for more than one reason.

On one hand, it was just physically relaxing. But, on a more complex level, it gave you a sense of closeness you hadn't realized you'd been longing for. You felt closer with your mother who worked through the tangles in your hair with her fingers, gently scratching your scalp with her manicured fingernails. You felt closer with your sister, too. It felt as if you had a small piece of her to hold onto in that moment, and it was comforting.

By the time the movie ended, you were nearly asleep and the sun had set some time ago. Your mother was the first to break the silence, softly rousing you, "(Y/N), honey, do you want dinner?"

You did, but before you could answer, your phone rang loudly. Glancing at the screen and seeing it was Peter, you nibbled your lip to hide a smile and stated, "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute." They didn't protest as you raced up to your bedroom to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"(Y/N)! Hey!" Peter practically shouted, though his voice cut out with what sounded like a windstorm. "Can you hear me?"

For a moment the audio cut out and you wondered if the call dropped, but then the crackling wind returned and you questioned, "What are you doing?"

Abruptly the sound ended, and he was breathing a little heavily as he responded, "Sorry, I was swinging--"

"Peter! Are you really on your phone while doing that?"

He laughed, "Calm down! My suit, well, Karen, the AI in my suit, is connected to my phone. Completely hands free--I promise."

Your mind flashed back to that night on the roof, the night he'd stopped you, and you remembered how he'd asked a woman named Karen what he was supposed to do. Now it all made sense. You'd been a little curious about who Karen was ever since that night, and now that you knew it was some sort of artificial intelligence that Peter had given such a human name to, you had to laugh.

"Why are you calling me, Spiderman?" you joked.

There was some quiet rustling, as if he were moving around, and he spoke quieter, "I'm on patrol. I just--maybe this is stupid, but I just thought if maybe I could show you the good things I do you'd see that we don't just destroy stuff."

It went silent for a moment before he continued, "I can't exactly take you with me, because that would be stupid, but you could listen."

You hesitated in responding. A part of you wanted to tell him that it was a stupid idea, for multiple reasons, but you decided against it. How would he ever prove anything to you if you didn't give him the chance?

So, you swallowed your protests, and said, "Okay."

"I'll warn you now it's usually pretty boring. A lot of nights I just swing around for awhile and go home without seeing anyone or anything."

That was strangely relieving. You hoped that tonight would be one of those nights; not because you didn't want him to have the chance to really enact his plan, but because you worried for him. What if having you metaphorically there with him distracted him? What if you distracted him and caused him to get hurt?

For awhile, it was a boring night. You and Peter went back and forth, taking turns telling stupid jokes to see who would crack and laugh first, and inevitably he won. He had an endless supply of disgustingly cheesy science puns that left you in stitches every time, even if you'd already seen the joke before on one of his many t-shirts.

You got him to laugh too, though, with all of the dead-pan anti-jokes you may have been secretly googling as you told them. Sometimes the wind would return, alerting you that he was swinging around the city, and every now and then he'd almost forget you were listening as he gave little exclamations of exhilaration in the moment. It was cute, even if the shouts nearly blew out your ear drum every time.

It was a boring night, until it wasn't. One moment the wind was making your phone speaker cut out, and the next it was eerily quiet and you had to pull your phone away to see if the call had dropped. Putting the device on speaker phone, you questioned quietly, "Peter?"

"I'm still here," he whispered, "I see something. Be quiet for a minute."

You listened and waited with baited breathe, probably panicking more than enough for the both of you, as Peter started speaking to Karen. He asked her to start something he called enhanced reconnaissance mode, and you were bursting with suspense and curiosity. What did he see? What was happening?

It felt like an eternity before he acknowledged you again, "Okay, I see a woman cornered by some guys. I think they're trying to... to attack her."

He didn't have to say the word for you to know what he meant, and you felt your stomach explode with anxiety and fear for a woman you couldn't even see. "What are you going to do?" you asked.

"I'm gonna web 'em up, and wait for the police with her." he stated, "I won't be able to talk for a bit, okay?"

And then, everything changed. One moment the wind was back as he swung down to the scene, and suddenly Peter was in full Spiderman mode and almost unrecognizable to you. He was sassier, playful even, despite how serious you knew he really was as he antagonized the bad guys.

The banter didn't last long. You heard the woman scream in terror as a loud ruckus rang through your phone, and Peter groaned. Was he hurt? Did he get hit? There were more thuds and dull smacking sounds, Peter and the men alike grunting and shouting out loudly as she continued to break the atmosphere with her screaming.

You wanted to call out for him, to make sure he was okay, but you were paralyzed in fear. What if you called his name and it distracted him, causing him to really get hurt? But, what if he already was hurt and forgot you were there to potentially call for help?

The fight lasted awhile, before finally the woman's screaming ceased as Peter told her, "Hey, hey! I got them, I got you. It's okay. Everything's okay."

"Peter?" you whispered.

"Everything's okay. It's going to be alright."

He was speaking to you, though he had to phrase it in a way that it sounded as if he were just speaking to her. You didn't believe him that everything was fine, though. It was easy to hear just how winded he was in the way his voice was strained, weaker than before.

Peter was hurt, and you were terrified. His plan was just as stupid as you'd thought it to be. Not because he didn't prove anything to you, because you were happy he'd saved the woman and he had shown you a good thing he did, but because he'd forced you to witness his pain and suffering yet again. You'd had to witness him actually get hurt this time, and the woman's screams still echoed in your ears.

It brought you back to that day. Her screams reminded you of the chaos following the building's collapse, reminded you of how hoarse and sore your throat had been from screaming just like that. Screams of pure horror and panic.

Only after the police finally left, thanking Spiderman for his help, did Peter drop the faux strength and softly whimper, "Shit, that really hurt."

"My window is open."

With that, you hung up and left him to decide what to do by himself.

Your mother quietly knocked at your door, opening it slowly as she poked her head into your room, "Dinner is done if you still want to eat."

Forcing the best smile you could manage, you muttered, "I'm actually not feeling very good. I think I'll just go to bed." You wished you could say you hadn't seen the disappointment written all over her face, clearly let down by you pulling away again, but she nodded nonetheless and shut the door as she trudged away again.

You laid in bed for hours unable to fall asleep, listening to every noise outside with hitched breathe. Was that little knock Peter? Was he at your window? By the time your phone told you it was nearing sunrise, you gave up. He wasn't coming, and you tried to ignore all the horrible thoughts that consumed you.

What if he was so injured he couldn't make it to you? What if he was out on the street somewhere, hurt badly and in need of help? You cursed yourself for hanging up, but you couldn't bring yourself to call him back. It was a strange battle of worry and anger, with anger winning out in the end and stopping you from reaching out.

You were angry at Peter for his stupid plan, causing you to think of all the awful things he seemed to keep at bay during the daytime. You were angry at those men for hurting him. Mostly, you were angry at yourself for being so stubborn. Why were you being prideful and letting the anger stop you from making sure he was alright?

You: are you alive

Peter Parker: yes

Peter Parker: go to sleep

Peter Parker: see you tomorrow?

You: yes. good night.

SERIES TAGLIST {ask to be added}:

@msmimimerton @zendayasfwb @sweet-symphony

[symphonyofthewrite]

Saw your post, getting stuff off your chest, I just wanted to say that I haven't seen the thing with the kids mentioned by anyone and it really stood out to me, I feel what you mean to some extent, because for me it was a stronger reaction, albeit you probably won't feel the same and that's, obviously, perfectly fine. I have an instant recoil these days whenever a character is around kids for like one second and everyone instantly goes "THEY LITERALLY ADOPTED THEM/THAT'S THEIR CHILD/THEY'RE A PARENT"... genuinely sick of it, and I went white as a sheet when I heard it, I wanted to pluck my eyes out. I don't know if it's an American thing but English speaking fandoms (well, those teeming with fancops that is) seem like they cannot process adult looking characters being in any near proximity to childlike characters without automatically imposing parenthood and family dynamics and it's becoming distressing to me. I feel like Alucard needed to process his trauma and learn to trust and be whole again, he's young himself too, why he needed to be a "father figure" all of a sudden is beyond me.

Thank you so much for the ask!! I don’t get many asks so it makes me happy when I can talk meta with people 💛💛 (Sorry I’m a bit late in answering.)

Funnily enough I actually do agree with you. I didn’t have quite so strong a reaction, but I definitely had a very similar one when I first hear it.

My feelings were and are a bit mixed. I was saying in my other post that I would have preferred that I got to actually see this interaction; see the kids run by him and call him father, and him smile when no ones looking. I still think that would have been a better, more touching way to do the scene, and would have had more chance of me liking it (though I probably still would have felt very weird about it). (I think it especially would have been better because it would show that Alucard himself liked it, not that Greta was forcing the role on him.) I know that it was meant to be something touching, and pretty much everyone seems to like it (and I have seen some cute posts about it), so I just tried to like it too, and focus on the fact that all they were really trying to say was he was having a nice relationship with the kids, and that was indeed sweet.

But yeah, when I heard Greta say “I heard some of them calling you father” for me it was less a reaction of horror, and more a “HUH??!!”moment. When I heard it I was like “Alucard...you agree with this???!! This is how you see yourself??!!” I almost expected Alucard to refute it and say he didn’t see himself as a father to them. Like I seriously do not see Alucard as anything remotely close to a father figure, and it felt weird and wrong to me.

Like when I saw him interacting with the kids the first time, I didn’t think “oh he’s a father figure to them.” I just thought “yay, Alucard’s playing with some kids, and getting out of his bubble!!” I didn’t have any thoughts as to what his relationship role was with them, I just thought that first interaction was lovely.

And if I saw him interacting with the kids again, I still wouldn’t go “father figure” I’d just be like “yay, Alucard’s playing with the kids again, how sweet!!”

Sometimes the relationship doesn’t need a role or a label, ya know?

And I thought it was especially strange because…he literally just met them?? Like how can they possibly start calling him father when he’s played with them once or twice? Regardless of Alucard’s side or things, what group of kids would randomly call a nice man they just met ‘father’? Is...Is this a normal thing??

Anyways, back to Alucard’s side of things, Sypha’s line about Alucard being a teenager trapped an adults body has always been something that stuck with me and shaped how I view Alucard. I definitely view him as internally much younger than he looks. No matter how much I might hate them for what they did to him, I think Sumi and Take are about the age he actually is, and their relationship with him made sense to me. He’s still a kid—or at least young—he still needs his parents in his life, really. (That’s part of why I didn’t like that Drac and Lisa don’t go to him at the end. I personally don’t think Alucard really got closure, and in my mind I think he still very much needed them, and that would have been the perfect ending to his story in my mind, where everything comes full circle; He was forced to lose his parents and grow up too early, and only when he’s started to truly grow up does he get them back.) So yeah, I really don’t see him like a father at all. One of my main focuses in my Castlevania fanfiction is his relationship with Dracula, so I very much see him as the son, not as the dad, even when Drac isn’t around.

(Sidenote, come to think of it, I think this is another reason why Greta x Alucard is a nope from me. She’s very much an adult, so I just see a discrepancy between them that makes me feel weird about them being in a romantic relationship. If we need a label I feel like she fits as an older sister for him, guiding him and giving him support. Him unloading all his problems on her within just meeting her makes more sense if he’s like a younger brother who needs to cry to his sister. I felt weird about it in a romantic context when it was so fast. I mean I know he was desperate to talk to someone, and I probably would have done the same, but still).

“I feel like Alucard needed to process his trauma and learn to trust and be whole again, he's young himself too, why he needed to be a "father figure" all of a sudden is beyond me”

^^ THIS. EXACTLY THIS.

I was honestly really hoping they’d go in depth into him dealing with his trauma, and how he’s still hurting from the wounds of it, and how he needs to heal. I thought that’s what his S4 arc would be about. I don’t think they gave him the chance to really process and work through everything that happened. (Again, I don’t think him just unloading all his problems on a nice stranger is truly working through his trauma. I would have much rather watched him struggle to trust her, and him telling her about his trauma happen later, and be difficult for him, and a deep, heartfelt moment).

Like I was saying in my other post, I think if they framed his arc in how he dealt with the town collectively, I think that would have fit better, and been more touching and satisfying. I would have liked to see him struggling to trust humans, and then see as time progressed how several different people in the town liked him and meant him no harm, and how he realized he could trust them, and that he liked them too. It wasn’t that he had a bad romantic partner and needed a new one. He believed he needed to be punished for killing his father, and in his deep loneliness he let these kids into his house and heart, and they turned on him because he was half vampire. That’s something pretty deeply ingrained, and not something a new romance just fixes by existing. He needed to work through that in a much deeper way.

I know this is gonna be a very unpopular opinion, and it's totally cool if you disagree, but in a weird way... I sort of disliked Alucard’s ending. Don’t get me wrong, Im glad he’s happy, and I’d certainly prefer it to him just getting more trauma like last season (*shudders*), and I don’t think him opening up his castle (and his heart) to humanity is a bad way to end his story, certainly not. I think that fits. And my heart did melt a bit at the "I'm weirdly happy" scene. But, where everyone else is like “*sobbing* happy endings for all our faves” ...I see the creators of the show trying to wrap everything up in a neat little bow, and while that’s certainly not all bad, I don’t love every aspect of that. Theres a time and place for that, but a show based on video games, for which there’s more content in these storylines isn’t one of them in my mind.

Sometimes some of the sadness needs to linger. At the very least, let it linger at the beginning of the season so you can work through it in a powerful way, you know? It may have been tough to see Alucard be more closed off, but I think it would have been more satisfying to see him open up his heart and go back to his old self if we saw his trauma leave lingering effects at the beginning.

To me it didn’t feel like a satisfying arc, it felt like the fairytale ending of “oh look he’s not apprehensive about humanity even after what happened! Oh look he got the girl! And the Castle’s a happy place now! Look he’s not sad anymore! He’s even a father figure to these kids! He’s totally moved on!” And all those things can be awesome when done properly, and when they have depth to them. But they didn’t work through the trauma to get there, so it felt surface level to me, and too fast. I really liked that first episode, and how we saw the two sides of him—one that's become more closed off, and the other that still buries the human despite his comments—and I also really liked the first interaction with the kids, and thought that was one of the few interactions that had depth to it and fit with his arc well. Having it go beyond “they’re helping him learn to like and trust humanity again, and displaying who he really is inside” ended up detracting from the power of his relationship with them in my mind.

Having played SOTN, I think an ingrained loneliness and sadness are, in a way, a key part of Alucard’s character. That sounds really sad and awful out loud but…there are some people that just have a sadness or a loneliness to them, and that's not entirely bad. Here’s the thing…it can make them that much more beautiful. The fact that they still fight for good, even when they see all the dark, those moments when they find true friends, despite how alone they are, those moments when they are happy, are so much more powerful. They just are always a bit…separate from other people. One of my favorite lines in anything is the line "We are connected by our darkness, not by our light" in Pandora Hearts. I think it's a line that fits Alucard well, and it’s always something that’s drawn me personally to him. Don't get me wrong, I don’t think Alucard’s all dark and sad and lonely, he’s definitely got a bright side to him too, of course he does. But I also don't think he ever is able to fully accept the vampire side of himself, and I find that interesting, and worth exploring. Personally I was honestly hoping for the show makers to come up with a bittersweet reason for why he went to sleep for 300 years, (and I thought that's why they set things up with Sumi and Taka that he’d have something against his vampire nature). Personally it felt like they were trying to say “oh he’s all better now, he’ll never be sad or lonely again” and while that’s nice I suppose…for me it sort of…stops feeling like Alucard, in a way? I don't know if I'm explaining it right, or if that sounds terrible...😅

Anyways, back to the topic at hand. I do agree that’s very common of fandom that people are like “boom! Just add water! Instant father figure!” and I don’t love it either. Sometimes it can be cute if it truly fits, but it doesn’t fit every relationship between an adult-looking character and a kid character, and shouldn't be the first place people go to. In the same way every relationship doesn’t have to be romantic, not every relationship has to be parental/familial either. Sometimes it feels like fandom culture isn't really okay to have some characters just be good friends. A good friendship can be more wonderful than a romance sometimes.

If we have to put a label on it, I think he seemed like a nice older brother figure to them? I think that fits who he is in my mind. But father? Nope. Not for me. And again, I don’t think it needs a label.

Thanks again for sending me this ask!! It was nice to get the chance to work through some more of my feelings here too. Sorry if I went too overboard. And I hope I don’t sound too terribly negative, it really was a great season, and I definitely liked some parts of his arc, just not all of it.

If you or anyone else reading would like to discuss with me more, be my guest!! 💕

[thejustmaiden]

Jaken = Rin's Dad?

Okay, is this how a daughter treats their so-called father?

Most definitely not.

Rin and Jaken's relationship clearly screams of your typical sibling rivalry punctuated with cute and silly moments of playful bickering.

Yes, Jaken may technically be her main provider, but that doesn't necessarily equate to him being more of a father than Sesshomaru. If anything, he demonstrates more of a brotherly love towards her. As we all know, parents (which Sesshomaru embodies more based on real life patterns and parallels) will leave their older more capable children in charge of looking after their younger brothers and sisters. In this case, that would mean making Jaken responsible for watching over Rin and protecting her if need be. Ah-Un offers protection, too. Think of it as Jaken as the big brother and Ah-Un as the family dog who are babysitting while Sesshomaru as the parent of the household is away at work or taking care of business. I mean, they literally fit that description to a tee and I'm dying at the accuracy of it all! 🤣👌

[Quick! Someone write up a modern au where Sesshomaru finally gets out to have a nice date night but everything goes wrong in the most spectacular way. Like maybe Rin and Jaken catch a ride on Ah-Un to go spy!]

I recently revisited some episodes from The Final Act, and I couldn't believe how many moments like this there were where Rin got after Jaken or when she would "put him in his place" so to speak. Obviously, all of it is mostly harmless. I was only surprised by how often it occurred, not to mention how Jaken would just stand there and take it. Towards a supposed father figure, Rin's behavior is downright unacceptable. There's a certain level of respect a child is expected to show their parents/guardians, and that's just not what I'm witnessing here between them. Like at all.

Rather their dynamic has the nature of some sibling relationships like I mentioned above. So I really wish fans would stop pretending otherwise, because based on what we know of father-daughter relationships- healthy ones at least- they don't appear anything like what Jaken and Rin have. If you could please provide me other examples of where we've seen similar portrayals in fiction or in real life, then perhaps I can get on board.

Look, that doesn't have to mean that because Jaken isn't her father then Sesshomaru must be. They can both be her caretakers without necessarily filling that traditional father role. I'm just saying that if we're going to start assigning titles to characters, let's make sure we are accurate and truthful in our assessments. If you're going to label anyone Rin's dad, then it needs to be Sesshomaru. Jaken doesn't have precedence over him in terms of fatherly attributes, that just wouldn't make sense.

After all, this isn't about what you want to see, this is about what Rin very likely sees. It's safe to assume that she views Sesshomaru more like a father than she does Jaken. She knows she's safe with him (broadly speaking lol) and that he'll come for her no matter what. That sense of security and comfort is what a child seeks and what they should always feel in a parent's presence. She trusts and even idolizes him, just as a young and innocent child tends to do with their parents. At that age, parents are perfect and could do no wrong in their child's eyes. Idk about you, but this describes perfectly how Rin is around Sesshomaru.

Rin adores him and will follow him anywhere- yes, even into danger! That's what the innocence and unconditional love of a child will bring them to do if necessary. Fortunately, at the end of The Final Act we learn Sesshomaru takes Kaede's advice when he realizes that leaving Rin with her in the village is in her best interests. That way she'd be able to lead a more normal and safer life alongside other humans. Remember, Sessrin shippers, that doesn't mean he wasn't still a part of her life and didn't witness her become a young woman over the years right before his very eyes. Therefore, if they eventually do become romantically involved, then most if not all of those gifts had intimate and seductive intentions and it essentially constitutes as child grooming.

I understand from a Sessrin shipper's point of view why it'd be so much easier to claim Jaken as the father. In doing so, they diminish Sesshomaru's role in her upbringing. By refusing to acknowledge the real role he had in helping raise Rin (short periods can be crucial and impressionable too esp. in a child's early years so yes they did assist in raising her not only Kaede), these shippers are better able to justify how their filial-like relationship evolved into a romantic one. So yeah, I get it, if I were a Sessrin shipper I'd probably do the same. It's one of the more plausible arguments available to them, after all. "Let's pin Jaken as the father to fend off antis!" is the best chance they've got, but even so, it's still not good enough. But if you insist Jaken is indeed like a father to Rin, then Sesshomaru is most certainly one too. Who says she can't have two fathers anyway?

The thing is however much you want to deny or downplay what Sesshomaru truly means to Rin and vice versa, nothing will ever change or hide the truth of the matter. Please, stop acting like they're only traveling companions and nothing more. Some of y'all even go so far as to say that they're like strangers. Knowing potentially little about a person is not equal to a lack of love and affection. Making big assumptions such as this to defend your ship is actually doing you more harm than good. Let me elaborate.

According to your reasoning, if that's all Rin ever was to him was a companion and Sesshomaru had no real attachment to her, then what precisely is the basis of your ship? Recall that Adult!Rin doesn't exist yet, thus we have no real idea what she will be like or if she's even alive. So how can you make comments like that but then go on later to say "they have such a unique and unbreakable bond" or "only Rin can be the mother because she's the only human he ever cared for" if all that time spent traveling together didn't amount to much in the first place like you claimed to believe beforehand? Do you see how your rationalizing is confusing?

Contrary to what some of you may think, I'm not just saying all this because I'm an anti and I'm obligated to disagree with you, or whatever other excuse you want to tell yourself. Believe it or not, I'm attempting to give as unbiased and objective of an analysis I can based on widely accepted interpretations of family dynamics, development, and any history we know of.

Of course I respect that at times fans will perceive things differently since that's bound to happen. What's hard for me to wrap my head around however is the unwillingness of some fans- not exclusively Sessrin shippers- to apply basic common sense and sound judgment to their observations and deductions.

Looking at all our facts, then taking the small handful of scenes Sesshomaru and Rin do share together into account, one can logically conclude that their dynamic is akin to one found in a typical parent-child relationship. If you still fail to recognize Sesshomaru as a parent to Rin, then that's fine too. In the end, that won't really change the fact that he'd still take on a role resembling an adult figure overseeing a young child's care and protection. Be it as a vassal, guardian, what have you. Plus, nobody is saying here that Sesshomaru doesn't make mistakes regarding Rin's general well-being, but so do all parents. Overall, I think the majority of us agree that Rin is in good hands. Whether it's in his direct company or in his occasional supervision from his frequent visits to the village.

In other words, it doesn't really matter what exact title you assign him in relation to Rin, as the distribution of power is all inherently the same with any and all adult-child relationships. That bond never changes once you've established it either, seeing as it's a special kind of connection one can only form with a child and a child alone.

I was a teacher for a few years, and speaking from personal experience, you don't need to be a parent, per se, to take on a role of authority in a child's life. I know without a doubt that I could never and will never view any of those kids I taught in a sexual/romantic light later down the road; yes, not even once they become grown-ups who are independent and more than capable of making their own decisions. Those of you who disagree are usually missing the whole point though, because we're not trying to dictate what Adult!Rin can and cannot do like many tend to accuse of us doing. This isn't a question of taking away from her autonomy nor does it fall under "purity culture," which is why people shouldn't continue jumping to these outrageous conclusions and really listen for a change. You're deflecting from the real issue here when you choose to misinterpret what we're saying by ignoring the problem we're actually referring to. You cannot present a valid counter-argument if you persist in twisting our words.

Bottom line: once these kids become old enough to pursue a sexual/romantic relationship, of course they have that right if they're ready. All we're trying to say is you guys ought to stop pushing forward this it's-completely-normal-to-want-to-bang-your-adoptive-dad-since-you're-an-adult-and-can-do-as-you-please agenda and not expect backlash. Ship it if you want, but please stop acting like their romance would be the epitome of a pure and healthy relationship.

Sesshomaru may not wear his heart on his sleeve, but it's foolish to presume he didn't actually care about Rin during their whole time together just because he didn't openly express his feelings until the very end. Surely everybody can comprehend that people handle and process their emotions differently. The way Sesshomaru chooses to is completely valid for the most part, so let's cut him some slack regarding this already.

What I'm trying to get at is that any child whose life you played an influential role in will always be a kid in a lot ways to you even when they're old and wrinkly. Just as they will always picture you as the loved one who guided and protected them when they were most vulnerable and couldn't always fend for themselves. Can't we relate this to children we know personally and apply it accordingly?

Finally, I want to end on this note. Could you kindly take a look at these two images below for a second?

The reason I ask is because of something I recently read that's relevant to the topic. There was this pro-sessrin tweet I saw that stated Rin trying to take care of Sesshomaru when they first met is what a mom would do for a child, which in their opinion, translates to Rin being more like a mother than a daughter if anything.

First off: are you freaking kidding me????

Seriously, so now children aren't allowed to tend to their sick or injured parents?! Parents are apparently superhuman and shouldn't be offered a helping hand from a child, even if they mean well and want to help their parent who's in pain?? Now this Twitter user was mostly being a smartass, but at the same time, it was evident they genuinely thought they offered a valid enough point that warranted no further explanation or clarification.

Secondly, by saying this Sessrin fans don't seem to realize that in actuality they're contradicting themselves and proving the point we've been trying to make all along. Glancing at the first picture and moving down to the second, the role of the one being cared for and the caretaker is reversed. So then by their own logic, Sesshomaru IS in fact like a father to Rin.

What it comes down to is the names you give to the roles these characters play aren't as crucial as the dynamic they share. The specific characteristics of that dynamic are what define the importance of said role, not so much the name in the role itself. So real father or not, Sesshomaru and Rin clearly mean a lot to each other. Close relationships are defined and solidified by the devotion and belonging they have to one another, not solely by the duration of time spent together and their proximity.

Well, that's a wrap! I hope you guys got something outta this blog, and that you enjoyed or found some portions of it interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject from this fandom, but only engage in conversation if you plan to be respectful. Thank you!

[coolmomdean]

I really admire the way you're not afraid to speak your mind about stuff even when you have strong opinions people might not agree with. I'm starting to realise that I'm way too scared of what people think of me. The thing is, I really dread being mass-unfollowed because I'm a small blog with only about 120 followers so I feel like I can't afford to say anything too controversial - and I really don't like the person that's turning me into. For example, there's certain internet people who make content about Supernatural who I'd really like to defend because I think that sometimes the fandom is too hard on them - and at the same time there's certain actors (who may or may not be planning a certain prequel series) who I'm starting to realise I really don't think much of at all. And I'd love to be able to voice my opinions a bit more but I always end up chickening out because I'm scared people won't like me because of it. I feel like the internet can be so judgy about just a few small opinions, and I love Tumblr so much in general, but also... I really don't ever want to be that person who has to follow popular opinions and can't speak my mind.

Anyway I just wanted to say I really admire you because you seem to be so good at sticking to your own opinions but not alienating people and I really wish that I could be like that.

First off, thank you! It isn't something I have always been good at. Like any habit or skill it takes practice and effort. a lot of times i'm still in the same boat as you, really admiring people who are even more bold about what they think on here. I think there's a certain freedom that comes with having a big follower base and there's another kind of freedom that comes with only having only a few followers. I have like 3.5k followers here (which is insane and not something i have dealt with ever in the past) and only like 400 on my main (which I've had since 2011) so sometimes i feel more comfortable sharing certain stuff on main that i wouldn't here, and vice versa. I also absolutely still hold some stuff back here cause that feeling of wanting people to like me is still really strong. I think on the one hand the internet mentality encourages us to share every thought and opinion we have on everything, and a good thing to keep in mind is that you don't have to do that. like you fully can just have opinions that you know will cause a stir and say to yourself : hey i don't want to deal with the fallout of sharing that i'm gonna keep that one in the drafts. there's a difference between not sharing something cause you're afraid of being judged and not sharing something cause you just don't want to deal with it.

more under the cut since this has turned into another long boy

personally the actor/rpf stuff that i can get on a medium sized horse about is a really firm boundary i want to keep so it only benefits me to share my opinion and have people who disagree with me on that unfollow. last time i fielded a bunch of asks about it i lost maybe 100 followers? even with as many as i have i still notice that and it did kinda bother me, but i don't want people who are really sensitive about that shit following me so ultimately that was a good thing. on the flip side of that, people wouldn't want to follow me if i just regurgitated what everyone else said first and better. i still lose followers when i get into stuff like that but lately i also gain about as many as i lose, so people are here for a reason i guess. everyone here brings something new and a little different to the table, and whatever your opinions are there are absolutely people on here who would agree with you if you shared. when you are your authentic self you can only benefit, because you give others the chance to interact with who you really are? that got too deep for a fandom post but you get what i'm saying.

also it is good to keep in mind that it is just tumblr. you don't need to base your worth on how many followers you have on here. its just a dumb show that we talk about on a dumb website and if you're dreading consequences when you talk about it i'd encourage you to take a little step back and think about what you get out of your interactions on here. are you making friends? do you want to make friends? do you want to get in heated internet arguments? do you want people to reply to your posts with "omg yes finally someone said it!"? you never need to be stressing about this website (not to say you're wrong for feeling stress, just to say it isn't worth the stress you're feeling).

idk this is yet another ramble with spotty capitalization and no spell check but those are my stream of consciousness thoughts. yeah.

[makeste]

There's been a lot of talk about Mina's optimistic line about how they'll all be fine and back to class is a death flag, but if anything I think it's a desth flag for U.A. They'll be fine, but they won't be back to class as normal, because there won't BE a class to attend(RIP Shinsou)

seems like everyone in the fandom is talking about death flags and kids dying and society falling to pieces these days lol. fwiw, as I’m sure most people have seen by now, Viz’s translation showed that Mina was actually talking about Midnight, so if this really is a “famous last words” situation, it would apply to her rather than the kids.

but it seems like the speculation hasn’t really died down despite that! so since the whole “kids dying” thing keeps coming up, I’m gonna go ahead and weigh in on it again here and say that I don’t think it’s going to happen. so far I’ve mostly been trying to keep my reasoning short and sweet and leaving it at “it would be too dark”, but in truth, the real reason why I don’t see it happening is because I don’t think it would serve any purpose.

here’s the thing about character deaths: assuming that the writing is any good (which I would argue that it is, in BnHA’s case, although you are free to disagree!), they should always serve a purpose. and in most cases, that’s going to mean one of four things:

it serves as a way to write the character out of the story for whatever reason (for instance if the character is getting in the way of letting a plot be resolved, or if the actor is leaving, which of course doesn’t apply to BnHA but is a huge factor in a lot of other media). an example here would be Twice, who was written out of the story because his quirk would have prevented the heroes from having any chance at all of winning.

it sets the stakes and takes away the audience’s sense of security by establishing that No One Is Safe, and that People Can And Will Die. this is important in that it builds suspense and makes the audience more invested than they might otherwise be, because they can’t be 100% certain that their fave is going to make it out alive. a good example of this would be the recent massacre at Jakku, which showed in no uncertain terms how powerful Tomura has become, and also demonstrated that Horikoshi has no qualms whatsoever about killing off any number of pro hero characters in this arc.

it completes that character’s arc and serves as a fitting (if depressing) end to their story. this is probably the most controversial as far as “reasons for killing someone off” go, because it’s so easy to fuck up, and because someone will almost always argue that there were other, better ways for a character’s story to end. most “redemption” deaths fall under this category, as do the “character makes the ultimate sacrifice to protect their loved one” deaths. if Endeavor ends up dying there’s a good chance it will fall under this category. so far though, BnHA has been pretty light on these types of deaths, which tbh suits me just fine. ideally this sort of death is supposed to provide some sort of closure, but in practice it doesn’t always work out that way.

lastly, the death furthers the story in some way. it galvanizes another character into action, or serves as a motivation for them. or maybe the death shifts the political landscape of the story and sets new plots into motion. most tragic backstory deaths fall under this category; for example, pretty much the entire Shimura family (r.i.p.). this is another potentially controversial area though on account of there being many other ways to move the plot forward without resorting to killing someone off. not to mention that “fridging” deaths also fall under this category -- deaths where one character is used as a plot device to move another character’s development forward. Nana, unfortunately, is an example of this, but that’s another rant for another day.

anyway, so these are the four biggest reasons to kill off a character in a story. there are others as well, including simply adding some more tragedy and emotion to the story, but IMO that doesn’t really apply to this particular genre. BnHA isn’t a tragedy, nor is it the kind of bleak, grimdark narrative where killing off characters more frequently would make sense. this isn’t the kind of series where gratuitous character deaths are necessary to add shock value or realism. making the shift into that kind of writing this late in the game wouldn’t make much sense, and IMO would do a lot more harm than good.

so as far as I’m concerned, this means that if Horikoshi is going to kill someone off in this arc, that death needs to come under one of these four categories. oh, and something I forgot to mention before -- it should be necessary, as well. in other words, it accomplishes one of these four things, and is the only way that said thing can be accomplished. those are basically my criteria for a “good” character death.

and as far as I can see, none of the kids’ deaths would currently fall into that “necessary” category, or meet any of those other four criteria. none of the kids are so powerful that they need to be written out of the story (and even if they were, there are other ways to do that with AFO and the quirk-be-gone bullets now in play). they don’t need to be killed off in order to raise the stakes; clearly, fandom is already very convinced on that front already, or people wouldn’t constantly be freaking out over death flags and such in the first place. and none of the kids is anywhere near the completion of their respective story arcs. maybe if one or more of them had been featured more often recently, and there was some actual buildup, like we saw with Mirio right before he lost his quirk, or with Nighteye before he was killed. but we haven’t seen anything like that recently for any of the kids, with the possible exception of Bakugou (hence why I’m still pretty certain that he’s currently heading towards what Aizawa would call a “death”, with quotation marks, i.e. the loss of his quirk).

so that just leaves us with “their death would further the narrative in some way”, which is probably the most open to interpretation of the four. but for the life of me I just can’t think of any way that the death of a kid would advance the plot in a way that couldn’t be achieved by other means. want society to freak out about children being involved in a war? just injure a bunch of them, or have one of them lose their quirk on live TV with the world watching. want to traumatize the other child soldier characters for some reason? kill off one of the teachers, then. or, again, take away one of their friends’ quirks, and have them feel some misplaced guilt over not being able to stop it. this was the winning formula for the Basement arc, so I don’t see why it wouldn’t work here as well.

tbh a lot of this does depend on what exactly Horikoshi’s goals for this arc are, which still aren’t 100% clear even this late in the game. I’m not sure right now what he’s planning for the aftermath of this thing. will it be like Kamino and Fukuoka, where society is shaken up but still rallying behind the heroes and giving them their support? or are we instead building up towards a scenario where society’s faith in heroes finally crumbles and people are left totally demoralized in the wake of yet another brutal attack, and the total decimation of the Billboard Top 10? the latter outcome is seeming more and more likely to me, but an awful lot of it depends on how the next few chapters play out.

my best guess is that we end up with a scenario where the heroes succeed in staving off total disaster, but at a heavy cost. a lot of the pros are either dead or out of commission, Tomura and the League are still at large, and everyone is basically just sitting around trying to process what just happened and figure out what to do next while they wait for the other shoe to drop. word gets out that the kids were pretty much the only reason the battle didn’t end in even greater disaster, and as a result they get swept up in the ensuing political drama. the HPSC tries to parade them around as the next big thing; humanity’s hope for the future. but meanwhile a growing faction of the general public is furious at the government getting children involved in a war, and start arguing that the hero program should be shut down and U.A. should close its doors. and in the midst of all this, the kids try to lick their wounds and deal with the aftermath, and enter their second year very much unsure of what the future will hold.

anyway, so this all got very long-winded and out of hand as usual, but to sum up, I don’t think any of the kids is going to die here, and I think there will still be a year two of U.A., but that it’s going to feel very different from the U.A. we’ve known up to this point. if the threat of Tomura is still looming over everyone’s heads I very much doubt the kids will be able to focus much on their studies. but it may also be a case of them trying to cling to what little semblance of normalcy they have left. the teachers might decide to press on simply because it’s the only thing they can do. basically I’m anticipating something very similar to the aftermath of Kamino, but with the tension ramped up to 11, and with the adults fighting a losing battle to keep the kids from getting caught up in the middle of it all.

in other words, I don't think it’s an actual death-death we need to worry about here. rather, it’s going to be a much slower and much more subtle death by a thousand cuts. but it’ll be the kind of angst the characters can still work under; the kind that, rather than suffocating them, instead makes them grit their teeth and find a way to push forward. so yeah! anyways though, now that I’ve said all this, watch as Horikoshi goes and fucking decapitates Aoyama next week or some shit. lol maybe I should knock on wood just in case.

[altairattorney]

In response to your little rant about Homura's depiction in Rebellion, here's this.

"The end of Rebellion is... controversial, but let's unpack what happened here. What occurred?

Well, firstly, Homura was traumatized and tortured; the Homura at the end of Rebellion is not the Homura of PMAS; she's gone through trauma and loss that PMAS!Homura can't even conceive of. She literally turned into a fucking witch because Kyubey gaslit her into thinking she made up Madoka Kaname, according to Wraith Arc.

Then, during this process, she learns two important facts that fucks her worldview: 1) Madoka didn't want to leave her loved ones and give up her normal life if she had any other alternative, and 2) Kyubey is trying to destroy the Law of Cycles (that is, Madoka Kaname), and has figured out a means of stopping her from interacting with Magical Girls under controlled lab conditions, meaning they could eventually succeed in their objective.

That means if Homura let herself go into the Law of Cycles, she would be unable to protect Madoka, and the Incubators would eventually destroy her. Madoka will have been erased and forgotten with nothing to show for it. Homura could only cope with everything with the promise of being reunited with her and the solace that Madoka's sacrifice was worth it, and Kyubey took that away from her.

And, more importantly: Homura's wish had yet to come true. Homura's wish wasn't to be with Madoka, or to save the world. It was to protect Madoka. To be the one to protect her.

To put it in other terms, Homura was self-loathing to the point of suicide-ideation because she was worthless, good for nothing, a burden on everyone. That she should just die. Madoka saw worth in her, and tried to change that, but Madoka died.

Only one person in her entire life ever told Homura she was happy to have met her and this wonderful, kind, happy, heroic, courageous, beautiful, miracle of a person who walked into her life to tell her those words died.

DIED. FOR. HER.

Died to protect her. Died so that a worthless piece of SHIT like herself could live. Someone who had EVERYTHING in the world died with a smile to protect someone who didn't even want to. Not without her.

Not instead of her.

She was good for nothing before and now her mere existence caused the best person she'd ever known to die. She ruined Madoka's entire life by having been a part of it.

She has to fix it. She has the chance to.

She wishes, wishes, WISHES to go back, to unfuck this, to undo this, to be cool like Madoka said she could have been. To protect her. To be her shield. To be WORTH something because she protected something valuble. To pay her back for all her kindness like she'd never been able to do and finally, finally in her life, have done something that justifies everything else.

She didn't wish for Madoka to live. She didn't wish for her to be saved. She wished to be the one to save her so she could support her and reinvent herself as someone who isn't a garbage shit person.

And every single time, she fails.

No matter what she does. No matter how she compromises herself. No matter what disgusting sins she does (and she never crosses so many lines that she says she WOULD cross). Madoka keeps dying.

And most of those times. She dies for Homura. She dies, again, for Homura. She dies again and again and again and again in order to help Homura.

Until the very last time, she wishes to save Homura (and everyone else), so much that she never existed at all.

Dammit. Dammit. DAMMIT. DAMMIT. This is worse this is WORSE THIS IS WORRRRSE!

But she still tries to cope. Madoka's in heaven. She's saving everyone. Madoka had a smile. The world is BETTER, and she'll see her again.

Until the above happened. And Kyubey is going to destroy Madoka Kaname. She won't have ever been born and she won't even be saving Magical Girls. She'll truly be nothing.

Because she came to save Homura, fucking AGAIN.

And all this time she still never saved her. Never ONCE saved her. Not a single time has she ever, ever, EVER fucking saved her. Not ever, has she ever saved her, not even when Madoka made her final fucking wish.

Homura made a wish that never came true. So she never stopped being Good for Nothing. She has never made up for Madoka's kindness. She has never, emotionally, left that moment where she sobbed over Madoka's dead corpse in the water and the rain. And she's done that so many fucking times.

So that's her mindset. So when she saw the chance. She took it. If you can interact with Madoka, you can effect Madoka. So.

God dammit. Fucking for once. Fucking finally. This time, her last chance she'll EVER HAVE... she will save her.

Save Madoka Kaname. Not a vague concept. Not a hero. Not a law or a god. Not a cosmic idea. Madoka. KANAME. The person who smiled at her and said she was cool. The person who helped her buy a cellphone. The kind, wonderful person who loved and named a stray cat and pressed her face to hers and laughed and congratulated her for her accomplishments. The person who said that meeting Homura was her happiest memory.

Why can't this person, of all people, be happy? All Madoka Kaname wanted was to live her fucking life. With her family. With her friends and classmates. Living her day to day life which wasn't anything special but it was so special to her.

She WILL save her. Goddammit, she failed so many times because she always kept holding herself back but if this is her last chance then GODDAMMIT fuck it all, damn herself too.

She never cared, really, about being with Madoka. She was willing to die for her. She explicitly had plans to leave the town to Kyouko after Walpurgisnacht and LEAVE (probably to kill herself so her Witch didn't come for Madoka). She was going to die for her in Rebellion so that she'd be safe from the Incubators.

If she could save her, if she can finally succeed and protect that human smile living her human life, it's fine if Homura Akemi isn't a part of it. If Madoka can smile, she doesn't have to smile at her anymore. That's PERFECTLY FINE.

So she did it. She stole a piece of the Law of Cycles. Not a big piece. Not the Law, or the Power, or the Salvation. The Law of Cycles still functions in some sense, because there's still no Witches, there's still Wraiths, there's still Angels.

She stole "Madoka Kaname", the human being that the Goddess used to be. She stole her, yes. She took over the universe, yes. But what did she do?

She made it so Madoka Kaname existed, again. Reunited with everyone she cared about. She gave Kyouko, Mami, Sayaka, and everyone else the happiest lives she could give them without undoing their pasts (disrespecting their agency and core selves), even if it was only to keep Madoka happy in her silver garden.

She tortures Kyubey but no one's crying tears over that fucker. She seems to be letting the world run its course as naturally as possible, save for suppressing people's memories of what's really going on.

Sayaka, alive. Nagisa, alive. Living with Kyouko and Mami respectively. Madoka, alive.

Hell, the only change she made that we know of to Madoka's memories is three years in America.

Because, canonically, English is Madoka's worst subject.

And now, she's great at it.

No matter what it takes. Madoka Kaname will be happy. She deserves it. And Homura will make that happen, even if she, herself, never is.

But yeah go off about how Homura is a yandere stalker who likes to kill people."

Hey there! I thank you for your post and your insight, and I wanted to clarify that I don't disagree at all with this view of Rebellion and how it ended. I think it is all correct, actually. The problem I have with it is 1. Rebellion existing at all, and 2. the way they portrayed her choice as an act of evil conceived by a demon.

To begin with, there are a few details that I don't think really make sense considering how pmmm worked. Homura shouldn't even be a witch, first of all. Secondly, even though she cannot know for sure, I don't think Homura would have willingly told Kyubey about the world of before if there were any danger. Heck, I don't even understand how Kyubey could possibly have stolen Madoka, now that she is not an entity but a literal concept, a rule of the universe. Imo that is beyond absurd. Third, I am doubtful Homura would have gone against Madoka's wish, even though I totally understand why she did in the context of Rebellion.

The problem I have with Homura is that people thought about her as a yandere emotionless stalker who has an unhealthy obsession with Madoka even before Rebellion existed. That was a popular sentiment, and the big, big problem I have with this film is that while what she did isn't inherently bad or wrong - as you explained - the movie paints her as a LITERAL DEMON in the moment she makes that choice, and ALSO at the exact same time she declares her love canonically. That is so fucked up in so so so many ways. As not literal it may be, they gave her that creepy smile, and show that Madoka is confused in her new bubble and feels like she is someone else but can't remember why. And Homura brushes it off. As wonderful as it is that she is there, Madoka is uncomfortable, Sayaka is obviously enraged and Homura plays the part of the Evil Character.

This is just all so unfair and so wrong. It doesn't only negate the way this anime ended - and of course Homura deserved to go with peace and quiet like everyone else. No magical girl has to ever suffer like that again, including Madoka, right? (There were so many ways to reunite her with Madoka, but no.) It also visibly paints Homura as being on the dark side, and validates the horrific lens people saw her character through even before the film. It canonizes her as a lesbian in the same moment she is doing something clearly framed as wrong, and, on a surface level, reinforces her obsession. This is just a textbook predatory lesbian trope. I am sorry if you don't see it the same way, but it is just horrific to me.

I will never agree with Rebellion existing. I cannot stand the ending of this anime being undone and Homura being punched in the face and further tortured both in universe and as a character, after all the crap she went through. It is just disrespectful.

And as I said, she deserved better.