#some of you know my story already and thank you for the care you took and your kind guidance
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Hey! I was thinking — "being overprotective of them in front of prospective partners" or "sharing cloths in a totally friendly way" with Cassian?
I think that's a cute print for him, and I'd love to see it ❤️
I love your writing and stories by the way!! 🥰
Say the Words
Pairing: Cassian x F!Reader
Word Count: 1k
A/N: I'm not sure this is what you had in mind and it turned out a bit angsty for some reason, but I hope you enjoy! Thank you for sending this in and I'm so glad you like my stories 🩷
The frigid winter air hits your burning cheeks, breath turning to mist as you walk away from the bar, but even if it was cold enough for the streets of Velaris to be mostly empty on a friday night, it's still not enough to calm the anger swimming through your body.
You had tried to decline Mor's invitation to come out tonight, preferring to sleep off the tiring week instead of drinking and dancing it away. Ultimately your blonde haired friend had gotten her away yet again, managing to bring everyone along to Rita's for a night out. You were doing your best to enjoy it despite your initial reluctance to come, drinking and dancing with your friends like you usually did.
A very well dressed and admittedly charming male started talking to you when you went to get another drink, his intentions more than clear behind his honeyed words and saccharine smile. You had no plans of going anywhere with him, only trying to choose your words to let him down easy, he hadn't been bothering you too much after all, but Cassian had suddenly showed up at your side, wrapping his arm around you in a possessive manner, scaring the poor male away with just a few words. You think you even saw him puff up his wings. All this to drop his arm as soon as he walked away, turning to go back to your friends like nothing had happened, making your temper rise at an alarming rate and prompting you to walk straight out of the bar, uncaring of the cold or the people calling your name.
The two of you have been toying with the line between friendship and more for years, lingering eyes and meaningful touches crossing it a bit more every day. It seemed that every time you tried to cross it, he took a step back though. You've gotten somewhat used to the push and pull by now, but, maybe because of your already dull mood, it reached a breaking point today.
Heavy footsteps sounded behind you, a sigh escaping your lips. Of course he had followed you outside, he would have followed you to the end of the earth. Knowing that a confrontation would be unavoidable, you slow your pace, sitting on a bench by the river, eyes trained ahead even when he stops by the bench, watching you.
“It's too cold for you to sit here,” he murmurs, voice uncharacteristically serious but as caring as always.
“I don't want to talk, Cassian.”
Except you did, it was probably the only thing that would make you feel better right now. You were just tired of pretending, and it seemed like he insisted on it. You were starting to wonder if he knew how to do anything else.
You can see him nod at your words in the corner of your eye, looking down at the heavy jacket in his hands before taking another step and draping it over your shoulders, his scent enveloping you instantly. You had to close your eyes for a moment, telling yourself not to give in.
“Don't stay here too long, you'll catch a cold.” His hand lingers in the air, looking like he wanted to reach out, but he doesn't, he never does. “You can keep the jacket.”
No sooner the words had left his mouth than he turned around. It makes you look up at him at last, facing his back, wings curled into his back as he walks away slowly, braving the cold in favor of leaving you warm as you stubbornly stayed outside instead of winnowing home. You couldn't understand him at all.
“What are you doing?”
He pauses, body visible tensing as he hears the defeat in your voice. “You said you didn't want to talk.”
“So you'll just leave?” Some of the anger returns, standing up and walking closer to him, waiting for him to turn and look into your eyes, almost daring him to. “What was all of that for then?” Your heart skips a beat when your eyes finally meet, the hazel showing all the things he wouldn't say like they always did, but you were tired of reading them for yourself, you wanted to hear everything from him.
“I was just trying to help.”
“Help?” You can't help but scoff, swallowing down the burning in your eyes, the headache that was creeping in. “If you will not make me yours then you can't act like I am.”
“That wasn't-”
“Since when have you been such a coward?”
“I'm not a coward.”
“You're sure acting like one.”
“What do you want me to say then?” His voice was rising in volume, eyes sharp as he took you in. Good. “That I didn't want him anywhere near you? That I almost ripped off his arm when he reached for your hand? That I don't want anyone else touching you? Is that what you want to hear?”
His hazel eyes burned into yours but you weren't going to back down, not now after finally getting something out of him. You would end this game tonight, one way or another.
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Why don't you want anyone touching me?”
Cassian lets out a breath, eyes moving over your head to watch the river for a moment, gathering his thoughts as you push him into a corner. You were about to repeat the same question, or even throw a few choice words at him when he reached for your neck, bringing your face in closer as he bends down, his touch gentle despite the storm raging inside him.
His lips linger over yours for a second longer, maybe giving you time to push him away, as if you ever would, but his patience seemed to be wearing thin as he kisses you at last, lips moving over yours as his hands hold your waist, pulling you closer into him. Your arms wrap around his neck, getting lost in him before your mind catches up to you, making you reluctantly pull away so you could look into his eyes.
“Say it,” you whisper against his lips.
“Because you're mine.”
A smile breaks out on your face. If it hadn't been for the cold biting your skin, you might have thought this was a dream. Cassian's face mirrors yours as he kisses you again, lifting you up into his arms as you winnow you both home, your mouths only pulling apart when your back hits the mattress.
#cassian x reader#cassian x you#cassian x y/n#acotar fanfiction#acotar x reader#cassian fic#cassian acotar#my writing
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Friendship In Escape
Summary: Steve Rogers x fe!Reader -> After escaping a party, you meet Steve Rogers. It's in a simple conversation, you and him find common ground and from that a friendship grows. Question is, will either of you ever find the courage to act of the underlying feelings?
Disclaimer: This is a LONG one. Spoilers ahead for most of the main Captain America/Avengers films from The Avengers. Also, there's probably a lot of plot holes in this fic so we're just gonna ignore them. Slow, slow burn. Angst-y moments. Found family, fluff, taking care of each other. Some swearing. Reader helps Steve adjust to the modern world. Lots of hugging. Probably spelling and grammar mistakes but we're gonna ignore them, too (it's late and I'm pretty sure my brain is fried). Hope you enjoy it <3 Not proof read.
The party had been humming to life for an hour or more before the honorable host finally showed his face. Dawned in a big name branded suit, Tony Stark stood at the top of the stairs, calling for people to start the party.
There was meant to be music, laughter, too many drinks and a fight he’ll be able to tell a story about at the next party. And you were sure, by the end of the night, he’d get his wish.
This party in particular had been the third you’d been dragged along to in the space of a month. It hadn’t changed since you were a child.
Posh names belonging to posh people with deep pockets and, when the time called for it, had long arms, too. The amount of money that was gathered from parties like this were worth the events being held.
But never once had you felt comfortable.
It wasn’t the shoes or the dress. In fact, getting ready was the best part of the night. But being dragged to the same people, with the same stories, being told about the same single people in their family, their sons, nephews, cousins. Being told to stand and take a picture with a smile that will let everyone know how fun the parties are.
But they weren’t.
For others they were. But for you? You had more fun spending time alone in the libraries at University, studying, answering company emails and working, mostly, from behind the curtain.
If you could have done that, you would have avoided the parties all together. Relationships with other businesses were already solidified and had been for almost fifty years.
So, after the fourth hour of walking around the gala room, standing and being forced to listen to the same conversations that you’d heard your whole life, listening to people be more interested in what Tony Stark had placed around his hosting room, and being introduced to another twenty something with a multi-billion dollar company behind his family’s name, but no integrity, you found your escape.
“Darling, where are you going?” Your mother asked as you handed her your drink.
“Just to the bathroom.”
She gave you a smile. “Hurry back. Sandra told me she’s bringing her cousin. Special invite from Mr Stark himself.”
You forced your millionth smile of the night and nodded. “Will do.”
As you took the stairs up towards the upper floors and bathrooms, you looked down over the edge of the balcony. They were preoccupied, listening to somebody’s story.
Rather than taking a right, you took a left, bumping into a waitress.
“I’m so sorry. Are you alright?”
She nodded. “Can I help you with something?”
You looked around you. “Just promise you didn’t see me. I need a break.”
The waitress just smiled. “There’s some rooms that haven't been decorated yet. Just take a right at the end of the hall.”
You looked down the hall, looked back and smiled at her. The first genuine smile of the evening.
“Thank you.”
She shrugged. “This is my fifth party helping the host. We all need a break every once in a while.”
You thanked her again before walking down the hall. The minute you turned the corner, the party seemed like it was miles away. Every once in a while, you heard a roar of laughter but it never got any louder than that.
With a sigh of relief, you decided to explore the different rooms. Some had tarp over the entrances, the insides not being suitable to survive at least an hour in. From holes in the floors to fresh paint fumes and drying plaster.
But then one at the very end of the hall had a door. So, taking your chance, you opened it.
“Oh!”
Inside stood a man dressed in a woolen style suit, his tie loose around his neck. He looked as if he’d been pacing and deep in thought before you’d opened the door.
“I-” You looked around you, fearful you were about to get into trouble. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone- Sorry.”
“Trying to escape the party, too?”
You stopped trying to close the door and looked at him. You couldn’t put your finger on it; maybe it was the way he stood, maybe it was the tone in his voice or maybe it was the way he was looking at you, but you saw something trustworthy in him.
An unlikely friend in a place where you had none.
“What gave it away?”
He smiled, softly. “You’re welcome to stay, if you’d like.”
You stepped inside. “Thank you.”
“I- I’m Steve, by the way.” He held out his hand and you shook it.
“Y/n.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
For the second time that evening, you gave a genuine smile. “Likewise. So, what are you hiding from? A match-making mother, or a business minded father?”
“Neither.” Steve laughed a little.
You walked further into the room before finding a spot with less sawdust on the ground. You’d been on your feet for a long time. You found the perfect spot against a wall between two windows.
“Wow,” you brushed what sawdust you could with your feet before turning around and tucking the skirt of your dress down. “Sounds like there’s a story there.”
He chuckled. “Not a big one.”
You shrugged, stretching your legs out and crossing them at your ankles. You patted the ground beside you. “My parents want me to socialise. I’d say talking with you qualifies as that. I’ve got time.”
Steve smiled as he watched you, finally agreeing to sit beside you.
And for the first time in almost a month, you weren’t bored.
Talking and listening to Steve didn’t make you so bored out of your mind you would have rather ran a cross country race. Talking with Steve was the first time you felt comfortable at one of these fancy galas.
You’d come to learn that he was, in fact, the man they’d dug out of the ice. That he was the soldier lost to time, being forced into a new century without any idea how to deal with it.
“I know a little of what that’s like,” you admitted to him. “To feel lost. I’ve been attending different parties like this since I was a kid. And never once have I felt comfortable attending them. I can talk to everyone in the room and feel completely loney, but I can sit on my own in a quiet place like this and…feel comfortable and be myself.”
“I had that once.” Steve told you. “I’d say back home, but I’m still in the same country. To be honest, I don’t know what anything is outside of this room.”
Then an idea popped into your head. “I could help.”
“How?”
You shrugged. “I could help you adjust. I’m no therapist but I know how most things work in the 21st century. Movies, media, books. You said they gave you a document packet?”
Steve nodded, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a folded over thick document.
“With all the stores and street names, I don’t recognise anything anymore.”
Opening it up, Steve handed it to you. It had an address, some pictures, different appointments and different wifi codes.
“I know where this is.”
“You do?” Steve seemed surprised. They’d given him the address three days ago with no instruction on how to find it. They just told him something about Google Maps. Whatever a Google was.
You nodded. “It looks kinda old.”
Steve shrugged. “‘Guess it’s their way of giving me some familiarity.”
You shook your head. “When do you move in?”
“End of the week.”
“I’ve got a meeting in the morning, but I can take the rest of the day – help you move in, if you’d like.”
Steve looked at you. “You’d really do that for me?”
You handed his document back and nodded. “I would. Just because you were given an image for them to control, doesn’t mean that they should take advantage of the person you are behind it all.”
“That’s really kind of you, ma’am.”
You smiled. “Don’t mention it.”
For an hour more, you and Steve just talked. Filled with quiet laughter and genuine smiles, you and Steve found an unlikely friendship in each other that evening.
A friendship that would only grow stronger and stronger over the years.
At the end of that week, you met Steve outside the SI building before walking with him towards the underground and pointing out different landmarks for him to recognise. A university campus, a museum, a deli store that served the best sandwiches. You explained about the times for the trains that headed towards the different states. Finally, walking down the different streets, Steve started to recognise a few different places. New businesses stood in their places, but the bricks around them were the same.
“Pretty sure I got beat up in that alley.”
You followed Steve’s eye-line before looking back at him. “Bet your mom was beside herself with the amount of times you came home with a black eye.”
Steve held a reminiscent smile on his face as he looked at his shoes. “Just a kid from Brooklyn who was too dumb enough to run away from the fight.”
You watched Steve for a moment; something in his tone told you those weren’t just his words.
“Come on, we’re almost there.”
You took Steve’s hand, leading him down the street before you both arrived at the apartment block. A couple of younger kids were playing out in the street, kicking a football around until they scored it round the corner of the building, one of their mother’s yelling to play in the back.
A guy with a coffee cart served passers by heading back from their lunch break, on the corner.
Unlocking the front door, you and Steve walked up the first few flights of stairs before finally reaching his new home.
As Steve opened up the door and walked inside, he was met with a living space that probably hadn’t had someone live there…maybe ever. The furniture seemed old, the kitchen table was rusting a little at the bottom of the legs and the curtains had seen better days.
A few boxes had been stacked by the entrance way with different labels scribbled on them.
You rifled through them. “Bed sheets, books, clothes.”
You took a note of the size label. “You know, I think one of my friends might have some clothes you’d like. She runs a clothing company that does everything from a vintage style to modern day. I’m sure she’d love to let you rifle through her products; see if there’s anything you’d like to take off her hands.”
You turned around but Steve hadn’t been listening. Instead, he’d been focusing on the case files that were strewn across the kitchen table.
Standing beside him, keeping your eye on his reactions, you looked down at the table before you came across a picture. You had to take a breath.
Steve had told you a little about his friends from the war. The Howling Commandos.
“Is that them?”
Steve nodded.
It took Steve a while to get used to his new apartment, but with your help, he found it becoming a home. You helped him change the bedsheets and work out his washing machine before putting your phone number into his phone.
“Think of it like a telegram,” you told him. “But rather than waiting weeks to hear back, it’s almost instantly.”
In the weeks that followed, you met Steve at his apartment every few days. On the weekends, you showed him around some of the thrift stores where he’d found a new kitchen table and some dishes to use in the kitchen.
One of your friends – the same friend that ran a clothing company – had delivered some new curtains. They were plain, but they were better than the ones Steve had been left with.
Meanwhile, Steve found an old gym where he could spend his evenings and, with your help, had figured out the basics of a phone and computer.
The one Shield had given him was far too high tech, even for you. So, you had brought Steve one of your old ones. It was still pretty modern, but it was a lot simpler to use than the Stark Industries issued one.
Then he got pulled into helping Shield with a threat that, to him, would have been best left in the ocean.
News reports came in thick and fast during the attack on New York. You hadn’t heard from Steve during it, until you nearly ran into him in the middle of the street as mechanical…whatever the hell they were, were flying through the sky.
“Why are you still in the city?! Everyone needs to get out.”
You nodded. “I know, but people needed help.” You looked down at his shield. “You know how to use that?”
Steve nodded.
“Can you break a lock with it?”
Steve followed you as you ran down an alley before disappearing around the corner and to an employee entrance. Neither you or Steve could tell what had welded a lock shut, but considering some kind of blue weapon lay not too far out in the middle of the street with similar residue being left of the door, you could only gather it had been some alien technology.
It took a few tries but the lock finally busted open and a bunch of parents with their kids came flooding out of the doors. As you and Steve started directing people to safety out of the city, you saw the way the kids looked up at Steve.
The whole image of Captain America had been controlled by the government, making him an image away from Steve Rogers. But nothing could control the way those kids looked up at Steve as their hero.
A comic book hero that existed in real life.
“Ma’am, is that everyone?” Steve asked one of the women that left the room.
She seemed distressed as she looked around. “I-I think so.” Then she ran off with the others.
Something in your gut told you to check the rest of the room, and Steve followed you inside.
“Go! Help the others! I can look after myself.”
“But-”
“Steve.” You looked at him. “Go. They need you.”
It took him a minute but he took your word for it and ran back out of the door. Meanwhile, you checked under every table and desk before something caught your eye at the side of one of the cabinets.
A kid, no older than six.
“Hey, honey.”
“Mommy was meant to pick me up.”
You looked around, hearing something hit a building nearby.
“I’ll help you look for her. Can I pick you up?” The kid nodded. “I’m Y/n, what’s your name?”
“Sophie.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Sophie. Come on, let's go and find your mom.”
After three hours of destruction over the city, and countless injuries being collected by people, it wasn’t until a mom came running through the crowds of EMTs and doctors, screaming out for her child that you and Sophie, sitting in the back of an ambulance, looked up.
And Sophie called out.
Jumping from the bench, Sophie looked outside and saw her mom running through the crowd. You watched as they collided and sank to the ground.
“I’m so sorry, baby. Are you okay? Are you hurt? Why aren’t you with the rest of your class? Where are they?”
“Hey,” you said, walking behind Sophie. “They got separated when trying to clear the city.”
“Did you save her?”
“I got her out-” Suddenly, the mom crushed you with a hug.
“Thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t know what I-” The tears continued to flow from her eyes.
“It’s alright. All that matters is that she’s safe.”
“Thank you so much.”
Hours later, you had finally made it back home, had showered and switched your TV on. The news had been following updates and different people’s theories of what had happened.
Then a knock came to your door.
Upon opening it, you were greeted with a fresher looking Steve Rogers.
“Shouldn’t you be with a medic?”
Steve smiled, “Shouldn’t you? Between the pair of us, I’m the one who has a serum running through their veins.”
You looked in his hand. “Is that a pizza?”
Steve nodded. “Didn’t know which kind you’d like, so I got the classic. Figured you haven’t eaten since yesterday.”
Inviting him inside, Steve laid it on the coffee table.
“Shouldn’t you be helping The Avengers or something?”
“Avengers?” Steve looked at you with a curious look.
You just pointed at the screen. “Oh, right. Yeah, we’ve all decided to take a break. But Shield tells me they’ve finally found me a job.”
“That’s something to celebrate.”
Steve shrugged. “Kinda hard to celebrate when an entire city almost got levelled to the ground.”
You understood. “I’m gonna head back tomorrow and see if they need any help.”
“Can I come with you?”
“You don’t have to ask, Steve.”
He smiled, if a little sheepishly.
For the rest of the evening, you and Steve shared a pizza and talked until neither of you wanted to say anything else.
So, you picked out a film and placed it into the DVD player. And you and Steve just sat and watched it.
As the months passed, you and Steve slipped into a familiar routine. He got better at texting, but you’d come to find he preferred to call. And during the days he was at the training facility in Washington and devoid of signal, he’d write you letters.
And you wrote them back.
He’d also started keeping a list, you’d noticed, of things you’d say in passing or you’d tell him to listen to or watch.
On the quiet afternoons you spent together, Steve would open up more. He told you more about the 40s and being in the army. He told you more about his childhood and his best friend, Bucky.
You’d surprised him one afternoon by taking him to the Smithsonian. They had a new exhibit put up – one pillar being dedicated to Bucky and his friendship with Steve.
In one of his final letters, he’d told you of a man he’d basically been trolling on his morning runs. You’d come to find out his name and you smiled.
Outside of you and the members of his team, Sam Wilson was the first friend Steve had made.
However, you didn’t get to meet him in person until you got a call from him, under Steve’s contact. Of course, the minute the headline had flashed on your screen, you’d tried to get into contact with him. He’d fallen, or rather, jumped, from an elevator and fallen a hundred feet or more to the ground. His own work seemed to be after him.
So, when you were told he’d fallen, once more, from one of the jets and had been in surgery, you rushed to him.
Entering his room, Natasha had been the one to take you to his room after two nurses read your name on his file but wouldn’t let you through.
“He’s alive, as you can see.”
“If I get a call like this again, telling me you’re dead, I’ll kill you myself.” You warned Steve before you walked to his side. The bastard had the audacity to chuckle.
“I promise. If I’m gonna die, I’ll ask your permission first.”
From behind you, you heard a voice smile. “I like her.”
“Y/n, this is Sam. Sam, this is Y/n.”
From that day on, the movie and pizza nights came to include both Sam and Natasha. However, unbeknownst to you and Steve, the movie nights also came to include the rest of the team.
Natasha had been trained to read people. And she’d never read anyone easier than you and Steve.
And her information soon became Clint’s information which soon became everyone’s information when he accidentally let it slip to the others.
Tony had been planning a party. Rather, he wanted to throw one and Pepper had come up with a list of people to invite. And when she read out your name, Steve had looked up but Clint had spoken first.
“Is that Steve’s girl?”
They all looked around at each other before looking at Steve. He had a girl?
Steve faltered. “Yes, well, no. She’s my friend. We’re friends but-”
Tony turned to Pepper. “Invite Steve’s girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just friends. And she doesn’t really like big parties so-”
“Invite her anyway. I can’t believe Clint knows about her before we do.” Then he turned to Natasha. “I suppose you already knew.”
She just nodded.
And that was just the start of it.
A few nights later, Steve had given you a heads up which you appreciated but it did put you on edge a little. But all in all, it was…fun.
It was the first time you enjoyed yourself at a party and didn’t hate every minute of it.
Firstly, the attire was fancy but not gala fancy. It was a celebration of Hydra finally being overthrown from Shield.
You arrived in your heels that didn’t hurt your feet so much, wide legged trousers and a graphic t-shirt.
“Now, who is that?”
At the bar, Rhodey, Thor, Tony and Maria all stood watching as you entered the room, clearly looking for someone. Tony and Rhodey had met most of the building at the party. Maria had met them all – at the very least, she had a file on them all.
But not on you.
From behind the bar, Natasha leaned over. “That’s Steve’s girl.”
From the bar they watched as Sam noticed you first and called you over. You looked relieved at seeing a familiar face. Even more relieved at seeing Steve. Tony watched as Steve noticed you, too.
The game of pool Steve had been winning at suddenly took a dip as his aim went off kilter, his attention immediately going to you.
“Steve has a woman?” Thor asked, the other just nodded. “Well, we must meet her.”
However, as they all went to walk towards the pool table, Maria reached her hand out. “You boys swarm her, Steve will make sure you never get to speak to her again. I will go.”
And so she did.
The others watched on as Steve introduced you to Maria, every protective instinct a man got when introducing his girlfriend to the rest of his family going up. And somehow, with simple ease, Maria had gained a small part of your friendship and led you towards the second bar.
Meanwhile, Steve watched as you walked away, the heart in his eyes never leaving. Not even when Sam nudged him and they got back to the game.
Throughout the night, Steve kept his eye on you.
He almost broke the sound barrier by how quickly he turned up at your side when you were dragged into the conversation circle with most of them.
“So, tell me.” Tony said, sitting beside you. “How did you meet our fellow Captain?”
“Tony.” Steve warned, though no true malice could be traced in his voice.
You smiled. “It’s okay. We actually met at one of your parties.”
Tony sat back. “Really?”
You nodded. “Some fancy gala a few years back.”
Conversation between yourself and the rest of the group seemed to take a natural flow until eventually, all your nerves had subsided.
But that didn’t stop you from needing a break by the end. Between talking with Natasha, Maria and Thor for most of the night, and beating Sam at a few rounds of pool – something Steve found incredibly entertaining,
Tony had backed Sam on his idea that you were cheating. Nobody won that many rounds of pool one after the other. So, as the others gathered and watched the game, Steve stepped forward and he covered your eyes.
For a moment you looked up at him and smirked, and he smiled back with a light shrug of his shoulders.
“Yes, thank you, Cap.” Sam said. “See. This will prove that she’s cheat-”
As you hit the white cue ball, everyone watched and was left speechless as every ball suddenly found its home in the pockets, leaving you with an automatic victory.
Opening your eyes once more and standing up, you looked at the pool table with a proud look before looking at Sam. You’d never seen him as shocked. Looking at Steve, he seemed shocked but also proud.
“Still think I’m cheating?”
Tony just looked at you. “She’s a witch. She had to be. Were you cursed as a child? Born to some Vampire in Europe or something?”
Steve chuckled, as did you.
“Come on, Tony. Accept your defeat.”
As the hours passed, eventually you found yourself outside on the balcony, taking a breather from the party.
“Figured you’d find some place quiet.”
You stood back up, holding onto the balcony bar. “Hey.”
Steve smiled. “Hey. You okay? They can be a bit much.”
You shook your head. “No, it’s not that. Just needed a minute. You know, this is the first time I’ve enjoyed myself at one of these?”
Steve looked up at the building before looking back at you with a smile on his face. “It is better when people aren’t trying to show you off.”
You nodded with a smile. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“Thank you for escaping the last one and finding me in that room.”
It was in that moment that you realised the last time you’d gone to any kind of gala or party of the same scale was the first time you’d met Steve.
You smiled fondly at the memory. “Thanks for not being mad when I opened the door.”
“I could never be mad at you.”
“You didn’t even know me.”
Steve shrugged. “I’ve got a good judge of character.”
You felt yourself chuckle before you looked out across the rest of the city before a cold wind blew through making you shiver.
“Here,” Steve shrugged off his jacket but before you could tell him you were fine, he placed it over your shoulders.
It smelt of him.
“Thanks.”
Steve just nodded with a smile watching as you placed your arms through the holes and wrapped it a little tighter around yourself before you looked out at the rest of the city with him.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Is something going on between Maria and Sam?”
Steve couldn’t help but laugh. “She’ll eat him alive.”
“He might be into that.”
Steve laughed and closed his eyes in disgust. “What makes you ask?”
You shrugged. “Just something I’ve noticed. He looks at her like she hung the moon. Though, of course, that’s when she’s not looking. When she is, it's like I’m back at school rehearsing for Much Ado About Nothing.”
Steve’s joy widened. “You were in a play?”
You laughed. “I wasn’t any good. I was only put on stage because my folks donated so much money to the school. All I wanted was to work with Tech.”
Steve chuckled. “I’d pay good money to see that. But, I get what you mean about Sam and Maria. Who knows? If the timing is right…”
Steve looked at you and you felt something bigger was being hidden behind his words. Part of you certainly held out hope that there was.
“We should probably get back inside.”
An hour later, most people had gone home so it was left with just Steve, yourself, Clint, Natasha, Bruce, Maria, Tony, Rhodey and Thor.
Still wearing Steve’s jacket, you were sitting in the middle of the sofa, your legs curled towards your chest. After he stood up, Steve came back and handed you a beer before he nudged your legs allowing him room to sit down before he pulled them across his lap.
It was the standard procedure for you and him to sit on a sofa together. Mainly because his sofa in his old apartment had been small enough to do so.
Despite changing apartments and the sofa, it was just something that stuck.
The others took silent note of it as the debate continued between Thor and Clint over his hammer.
By the time everyone was trying to lift it, Steve became one of the last. Sharing a look with you before looking at Thor, Steve stood up and tried to lift it.
You watched as it squeaked on the table for a moment, but moved no further. However, your knowing grin – despite it never truly lifting from the table – caused you to look at Thor.
He looked panic stricken.
But Steve stood back and held his hands up.
“Or…you’re all not worthy.”
“It’s still a trick!”
In the moments that followed, everyone turned to their own conversations; including you and Steve.
But Clint and Natasha kept their eyes on you and Steve. Your legs over his lap, wearing his jacket, his focus solely on you, his hand rubbing lightly against the bottom of your leg that was exposed under your wide-legged trousers, your ever loving gaze on his that matched yours, light and soft smiles on your faces.
“Ten bucks says they’ll be married in two years.” Clint whispered up to Natasha.
“Deal.”
Something that Clint didn’t know, that Natasha did, was that you and Steve were fucking oblivious.
They’d all be lucky if it happened in two years.
Quite frankly, it should have happened two years ago.
Suddenly, a high pitched noise rippled through the room.
“Of course you’re not all worthy…”
Your eyes landed on an oil leaking…zombie robot?
His voice was deep and menacing and nothing about any of it felt comforting.
“Steve?”
“Stark?”
“Jarvis?”
In a single turn of events you’d gone from laughing and joking with each other to suddenly defending yourself against a robot who claimed he’d killed someone.
A swarm of them flew in through broken glass panels and Steve kicked up a table before any of them could hit either of you.
You landed on the floor beside him, a little winded.
“Are you okay?”
You nodded. “I’m okay. Go, go, go. I’ll be fine.”
Steve helped you up before running off in the other direction. It was a whirlwind of blasts, bullets and shattered glass.
At one point, one had you cornered as Tony unhooked another. And for a moment, you thought you’d be sent flying out of the window and out into the open before Steve took hold of it, throwing it back towards Thor before Clint threw him his shield.
And it all ended as Thor sent his hammer flying through Ultron.
“What the fuck was that?”
“Banner.” Tony called him over before they headed towards their lab.
Meanwhile, Steve turned around before heading straight towards you and holding you in his arms, almost lifting you from the ground.
“Are you okay?”
You nodded, letting the scent of him, his clothes, his jacket, calm you.
“Yeah. Thanks for saving my life.”
Steve truly breathed for the first time since the high pitched noise had rang through the room. With a hand at the back of your head, he pressed a kiss to your temple and he closed his eyes.
“Come on, let's go and find the others.”
However, as he took your hand, you pulled him back. “Steve.”
“Right, you-you’ll want to go home-”
You shook your head. “It’s not that. You’ve got glass in your arm.”
“Oh.”
“Does Tony have tweezers in his lab?”
Steve nodded. “I think so.”
Less than five minutes later, you sat Steve in one of the chairs, Bruce handing you and Maria a set of tweezers each.
Staring with his arm, you plucked out the small fragments of glass before his skin healed over them, before holding his palm up to face you. Meanwhile, they began discussing the extinction of The Avengers and the possibility of nuclear codes getting out to the rest of the world.
Then rage got passed around the room.
By the time morning rolled around, Steve drove you back home.
“Whatever happens…” You looked at Steve, a small voice in the back of your head begging for him to be imprinted in your memory as if he hadn’t already. “Just promise me you’ll be careful.”
Steve nodded. “I promise. You’re the only one that can kill me, remember?”
You felt yourself laugh. At least he remembered.
Looking at him again, you hugged him. “I mean it, Steve. Please be safe.”
He hugged you back, the feeling of him strong enough for you to still feel hours later.
“I promise.”
Each day you didn’t hear from him was a little more worrisome than the last. And then when the media reported Shield helping evacuate people from a floating country…all you could do was hope Steve wasn’t one of the casualties.
“Maybe I’ll take a leaf out of Barton’s book.”
“The simple life?”
“You’ll get there one day. Maybe you could get there with Y/n?”
Steve couldn’t deny he hadn’t thought about it once or twice. You and him. Together. More than friends. A part of him did think you felt it too. The same spark. Familiarity. The same love.
“If something was gonna happen, it would have happened by now.” Steve told him. “Besides, I think the guy that wanted all that went into the ice seventy five years ago.”
Tony shrugged. “Don’t count on it. That guy is still there somewhere. See you ‘round, Rogers.”
As Tony drove away, Steve took in the building in front of him. And despite the acceptance he felt of being home, the idea of you and him…he figured that would always be with him.
Even if it never happened.
That night, Steve turned up outside your apartment with the next movie on his list and a case of soda. However, when you didn’t answer, he went in search of you.
Opening the door to the roof, he looked around before spotting you in the very corner, sitting on the table of the picnic bench.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Looking around, you gave a sigh of relief at seeing him. He dropped the case on the table before you reached for him.
“Thank god you’re okay.”
“How long have you been up here?”
“Since Nat called me and told me you’d landed. I couldn’t sit in my apartment anymore so…I came up here. Last time I looked out at the city was before everything went to hell.”
Steve looked out at the city himself before looking back at you. “We’re not out of the woods yet. Ross is probably about to reign hellfire down on…everyone.”
“What about the girl?”
“Wanda?”
You nodded.
“I don’t know. She went through a lot, losing her home and her brother in one fowl sweep.”
“You should train her.”
“What?”
“Train her,” you repeated. “You’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be in a war, to sign up to be experimented on. She’s gonna need someone who actually understands some of what she’s going through.”
Steve agreed with you. You had a point.
“Tony can have a lot of influence and his heart can be in the right place but he doesn’t always remember that people didn’t have his childhood or his life.”
“He’s been through a lot.”
You agreed with Steve. “He has. But he’s never lost a brother, or his life to somebody’s cause. She’s gonna need help.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
The rest of the evening was spent talking over what had happened, what Steve had thought when the earth quite literally started to lift from beneath him, what had happened with Banner and Nat and then you gave him your news.
Bucky had been spotted.
The next time you saw Steve was at Agent Peggy Carter’s funeral. You sat at the back for most of it, watching as Steve helped carry the coffin and as people gave their eulogies.
You didn't know much about Peggy Carter personally, though you could remember learning about her in school. The founder of Shield, working alongside Captain America in her early career. And from meeting Steve, you’d come to know more about her. As well as how deeply both she and Steve were in love.
You’d seen the clips at the museum, and with Steve beside you, it gave them a whole other meaning. And even though Steve living through the ice and landing himself in the 21st century had given you one of the greatest friendships you’d ever had, part of you felt angry for him.
Angry at the fact he missed out on his chance with Peggy and that she had to live a life where, as far as anyone knew, Steve was dead.
A soldier and a love story left stranded in time.
You could remember when Steve had first visited Peggy, again.
And now he had to say goodbye, again.
“It was a beautiful service.”
Steve looked up and down the aisle to where you were walking towards him. He felt the breath get knocked out of him. Or maybe back into him.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Thought you could use a friendly face?”
A silent conversation then took place between you and Steve. Silent conversations weren’t unusual between you. A thousand words could be said in a look, but you’d both understand.
“I don’t know what’s gonna happen after I leave here-”
“No, I know. I know.” You understood completely. After he walked out of the church, Nat would be leaving without him.
“Today’s been a lot. Tomorrow’s gonna be a lot.” You looked back at Steve. “Right now can just be…right now. You’ve lost someone, Steve. Right now you don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You don’t have to be Captain America right now.” Your gaze turned to Peggy’s picture. “I might not have met her, but I know you and I both know she would be telling you, you don’t have to be Captain America right now. At this moment, you’re just Steve: World War Two veteran who has just lost a great love in their life and deserves a moment to breathe.”
Steve gave you a weak smile, his emotions building up in his chest. “Thank you.”
Stepping forward, you wrapped Steve in a comforting hug and for the next twenty minutes, you both stayed inside the church.
There he told you the smaller facts about Peggy – the ones he’d learnt when she was with him and his Howling Commandos.
But then the time came to leave.
Walking down the different streets, hearing time tick away, you and Steve soaked up what time you could before everything was about to go to shit.
And on a bench beside the River Thames, you and Steve said your goodbyes. Both of you knew something was going to go wrong. What that was exactly, neither of you could put your finger on it. But something was going to happen.
It was only a matter of time.
“Here.”
“What’s this?”
Steve read the piece of paper. It was a set of coordinates.
“I own a house. It’s in the middle of nowhere, somewhere in Europe. If anything happens, Ross can’t touch you. The house had been in my family’s name for generations but one of my great aunt’s left it to me. It’s yours to use.”
“Y/n-”
“Take it, Steve. Nobody knows it exists so they won’t find you. It’s run down but there should be running water.”
Steve finally accepted it. “Thank you. You know, if Tony ever finds out about this, he’s gonna believe that you are a witch from a vampire family.”
You shrugged. “Maybe I am, you just don’t know it.”
Steve shrugged, pocketing the paper safely.
“I’m gonna miss you.”
You took his hand. “I’m gonna miss you, too.”
You tried your best to avoid the tears, but they were trying their hardest anyway.
“Just promise me one thing, Steve.”
Steve nodded, squeezing your hand a little tighter. “Be safe?”
You nodded. “Be safe.”
Your eyes locking with his, Steve decided to take a risk. There was a chance he might never be able to see you again. Whatever was going to happen, the first person they’d put a tail on would be you.
He kissed you.
With your hand on his lapel, you held him closer. It was short and bittersweet, but the memory of him and his kiss would forever be seared into your brain.
And for a few moments, you just held onto each other, fearful of opening your eyes and accepting that one of you would have to walk away.
With his finger, Steve gently brushed the stray hair from your face away and behind your ear before kissing you quickly for a second time.
“One of us has to say goodbye.”
“I know,” you sniffed. “I know.”
“If there’s one thing I’m grateful for, it's that you walked into that room when you did. You were the first person to treat me like one and to help me. Thank you for wanting to escape that party.”
You laughed through the tears. “You never have to thank me for that. It’s crazy to think I almost didn’t go.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“So am I.”
Looking at each other for one final time, you leaned in and kissed him. You prayed that his hand by your waist would leave a brand – a different pain to carry with you than the one in your heart.
Feeling yourself stand, the kiss broke away and you were the first to say goodbye.
Walking down the stone pavement, you looked behind you before you turned a corner, only to find Steve had already gone. Between the bustling people, the bench you’d both just been sitting at was exactly that.
A bench.
Going home, you tried to find a way to keep yourself busy but no matter where you looked, everything reminded you of him. The movies you’d watched with him, the ones you didn’t. The pizza’s shared, and soda spilt, the curtain, bedsheets, books, clothes, pictures.
You had some of his artwork in your house. Some of them people, most of landscapes – people and places you’d seen together.
And in an album under your bed, you had his letters.
Each one in its original envelope on one page and the pictures he’d drawn of the skyline from wherever he’d been.
Some evenings, you’d reread his letters – still able to hear his voice.
Then the headlines started to roll in.
Captain America was a fugitive and had broken his team out of a high secure facility.
And for almost two years a hunt was put on for him. You were interviewed every couple of months with the same questions.
Did you know where he was? Had he contacted you? What information did he share with you?
Just because you’d given him a set of coordinates didn’t mean he’d use them. The last time you’d heard from Steve was in London and the only information he’d shared with you that day was about Peggy Carter and some of the old stories of when he was first in London in the 40s.
In the meantime, your parents had convinced you to attend different dinner parties, charity shows, fundraisers and galas, all the while helping you find a date.
Most of the people your mother had first introduced you to years ago, they were recently married. But the single ones she’d found; you dated some, though it never went any further than a sixth date – usually the date after your parents invited them to attend dinner.
But no matter the fancy meal, or the conversation, or the man; none of them could beat a pizza, soda, a movie and…
Steve.
None of them could beat Steve.
But that all changed one afternoon when you were gardening.
Living in the city had reminded you too much of Steve, and with the constant reminders of the memories and new threats and superheroes popping up, you decided to find somewhere nice to live.
Someplace…simple.
So, buying a house outside of the city with a few acres of land, you started renovating. Any business meetings you had could be done online which meant you had more time to fix your new home up.
The smell of plaster, paint and sawdust filled your home for most of the days until finally things started to come together. New windows and locks were installed, the faulty taps were fixed and finally the entire place was given a new lease of life.
And just as you were half way through with fixing your garden; planting some flowers and digging patches for a small allotment, a car pulled up outside your drive.
On your knees in the dirt, it took a moment for your eyes to focus on the person climbing out of the car in the distance.
They were tall, broad and had a beard.
However, the closer they got, memories started to kick in. The walk, the frame…
You stood up and walked closer until you stopped again, feeling the breath being knocked out of you.
“Oh, my god…”
He watched as you stopped in your tracks, your brain confirming who he was. Then you started running. Across the grass and onto the gravel path, you collided with Steve.
“This is you, I’m not dreaming, am I?”
Steve shook his head and he held onto you, the essence of you filling his senses.
“No, you’re not dreaming.”
You leaned back and looked at him before hugging him again.
Finally, Steve set you back onto your feet and his hands remained at your waist.
“Why are you back? Last I heard…”
“The team and I are keeping our distance for a few days. Nat’s headed to Ohio and Sam is trying to see his sister. It’s the best way to avoid Ross.”
You nodded, checking him over. He didn’t seem like he was dying.
With a hand on his cheek, you smiled a little, pointing out the obvious. “You grew a beard.”
Steve smiled a little. “Helps me blend in.”
You looked into his eyes and smiled. “It suits you.”
Holding gently onto your wrist, Steve turned his head and kissed your palm and for a second you closed your eyes, leaning into him.
“I’m really glad you’re okay.”
Placing your hand over his heart, Steve seemed to bear into your soul. “So am I.”
What followed was two hours of conversation around where he’d been and what he’d been doing since he left, and what you had been doing.
Then he started to help. Painting the porch on the back of the house as you continued planting in the back garden, you spent time together.
Time that was all too precious knowing he was on a clock.
“Where did you learn to cook?” You asked Steve as you helped him chop up veg.
With a smile on his face, Steve continued to prepare dinner. “I have a contact in Scotland. Their aunt runs a cafe and needed a few extra hands in the kitchen.”
As you helped Steve prepare dinner, you listened to the stories he’d gathered over his time away. Scotland, Spain, Germany, Italy, England, Poland, Norway, and many others.
Once dinner was finished, you started to clean up. But from the table, Steve looked at you standing by the sink in front of the window.
You’d never left his thoughts.
Sat on that bench in London, he watched you walk away and for a moment, he remained where he was. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to see you again – not without heavy restrictions.
He wanted you so desperately to turn around, but if you did, he would have followed you. He would have stood up and ran after you.
So he left.
He left before you could look around, he left before he would stop fighting himself and follow you.
And each day he woke up, for the few moments in the morning where he would forget what had happened, where he would forget the world he’d been found in, he thought about you. He thought about calling you or writing you a letter. He thought about seeing you when he’d roll over in bed. But each time…
You weren’t there.
You weren’t with him.
You were at your home, thousands of miles from him.
And he had no way of talking to you.
Walking across the kitchen floor to you, he placed a hand on your waist before reaching across to the window cill.
“What are you doing?” You smiled.
Looking at you and turning up the dial, Steve smiled. “Come with me.”
Taking the cloth from your hand, Steve dropped it back into the bowl of soapy water and took your hand in his. Then, pulling you into the middle of the kitchen with him, you both started to slow dance.
“What’s this for?”
Steve shrugged, holding your hand over his heart once again. “I don’t know how long I’ve got with you. Figured we could spend it not washing up.”
You felt yourself smile. “I think I like that.”
It was soft and slow. Swaying with the beat until the radio turned static, you and Steve remained in each other's arms.
“Can you stay the night?”
Steve nodded.
“Good.”
The night soon settled over your home, the stars slowly emerging from behind the clouds. With your porch taking on a blue hue in its own shadow, you and Steve sat side by side on your porch swing.
Your hair still a little damp from your shower, Steve continued to run his fingers through it. And with your head on his chest, you let his heart beat calm you. For a moment, Steve turned his nose into your hair and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
After a few moments, he didn’t say anything. Not that you would have heard anything considering your body was begging for sleep.
Carefully standing, Steve slipped one of his arms around your back and one under your legs before carrying you inside. He tucked you under your bed covers before making his rounds, locking up the doors and windows. Finally, he got in beside you.
For years, he’d dreamed of it.
Being with you, by your side, a domestic and loving day before laying beside you knowing he would be waking up beside you every morning.
And Steve smiled as in your sleep you moved closer to him, your arms wrapping across his middle.
You couldn’t remember when you’d gone from the porch to your bed, but you could remember Steve. Feeling his arms around you, his heartbeat under your cheek, his lips on yours…
“Hey,”
Steve was sitting on the edge of the bed by your legs, fully dressed.
“Hey, what time is it?”
Steve kept his eyes on you. “A little after four.”
You gave a groan and closed your eyes again. Steve chuckled. Reaching out, he gently swept the hair from your eyes, your head turning towards him. With his hand on your cheek, he felt your smile.
It was your turn to hold onto him and kiss his palm.
And just as the knowing sadness started to grow, Steve still smiled, leaning forward and kissed you.
You would never get bored of his kiss.
Peppering it out, you held onto his face before your hands slipped around his back and you held him closer.
With a sigh, Steve held you closer to him, trying to imprint the feeling of you in his arms.
Trying your best to ignore the growing tears, you spoke.
“Just promise me you’ll be safe?”
Steve chuckled a little. “You know you’re the only one who's allowed to kill me. But I promise.”
“Good.”
Holding on a little tighter, you silently begged for more time with him. But the clock was ticking.
From above, there was deep rumbling.
“You better go,” you told Steve.
It took him a moment before he let go and with one final kiss, it was his turn to say goodbye.
Hearing his boots walk across the floor of your bedroom, down the hallway, through the living room and towards your front door.
You heard his pause for a moment and in that moment, you wondered what he would do if you called out for him.
But he couldn’t stay any longer.
People needed him.
The world needed him.
Hearing your front door click open, Steve’s footsteps trailed off as it closed once more until eventually the only sound that was left was the ever quieting sound of a rumbling jet engine.
Six months later, half of the world disappeared.
With a snap of Thanos’ fingers, Steve watched as half of his team, his family, disappeared. And upon returning back to the Avengers’ compound, you were his first call.
Only, you never answered.
“Go.” Natasha told him.
He didn’t need to be told twice.
Making a break for it, Steve ran down into the garage before hopping on his bike. He’d made it to yours in half the time.
Pulling up, he started calling out for you. His voice filled with desperation and fear, he ran up to your front door.
It was unlocked.
He almost tripped inside as he tried the door, the hinges getting stuck.
“Y/N!”
He raced around your home; checking the kitchen, living room, pantry, washing room, office, bathroom, and the bedrooms before finally reaching yours.
The bedding was strewn a little, the soft lines of the fitted sheet folded into where you would have been laying. The pain in Steve’s chest seemed to grow heavier by the minute.
You weren’t here.
One hand on his hip, another covering his mouth, Steve turned around in a slow circle. Tears pricking at his eyes, his mind had gone from running a thousand miles a minute to…being completely overrun by pain.
He had nearly a thousand chances to be with you, to share a life with you that he’d always dreamed of – all before everything went to hell.
But it was too late.
You were gone.
Just like half of the world, you were gone.
Gripping onto the cold metal of your bed frame, Steve tried to steady himself.
You were gone.
Somewhere behind him, he heard a click.
His entire body stilled.
Slowly turning around he found…
No one.
Somewhere down the hall, a door closed.
As quietly as he could, Steve walked from your bedroom and down the hallway. The noises started to compile together.
Shoes shuffling, a bag being thrown onto a counter, a bucket handle rattling against itself.
From a corner, Steve saw an apron thrown across the back of a kitchen chair. A tap started to pour before someone switched it off.
Then someone started to hum.
You started to hum.
Fully stepping into the kitchen doorway, Steve felt the entire life get knocked back into him.
Then you turned around.
He scared the shit out of you.
The bucket slipping out of your hand, it knocked against your sink, the water spilling down the drain.
Just as it did, you recognised him.
Rushing forward, Steve enveloped you into his arms, your feet lifting from the ground.
“You’re alive,” you breathed.
“I thought you were gone.” Steve mumbled into your shoulder, holding onto you tighter.
“Steve, what’s going on?”
“He won.”
Steve set you back down on your feet and for the first time in almost seven months, you finally got a good look at him. He looked tired, worn. Beaten.
“We almost did it, but he won.”
“Whose left?”
Steve tried his best to name those who were left.
“We think Tony’s gone but we can’t be sure.”
The tears were falling from Steve’s cheeks as he told you. Wiping them away, you pulled him back into a hug.
“I tried calling you but when you didn’t answer…” You could feel Steve’s entire body shaking under you. “I thought I’d lost you, too.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t answer. Steve, honey, you need to sit down. Let me get you some water.”
As you sat him down, Steve watched as you moved around your kitchen. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, running the tap until it was cold before handing it to him.
“I’ll make you some food. When did you last eat? You should call Nat.”
“Right.”
After calling and updating Nat, Steve hung up the phone. And for the next few hours, Steve talked you through everything he could; right up to him running through your door.
In the months that followed, a transition started to take place. People had to get used to a world where half of the people they loved were gone.
And somewhere between Steve finding you in your kitchen and Tony and Pepper having their daughter, yourself and Steve finally came together.
Properly.
This time there were no goodbye kisses and fear of never seeing each other again. That biggest fear had been and gone.
What you were left with was…acceptance.
Acceptance that you had both almost completely lost each other for good. There was no point in avoiding feelings, or being scared of what might happen.
You both had a chance at a life together.
So you both took it.
From then on your home with Steve became interchangeable between the Avengers compound and your house. Saving her from the lifetime supply of peanut butter sandwiches, you dragged Natasha when you could to your home with Steve and made her a decent meal.
Being out in the open also gave her a breath of fresh air away from the training facility walls that never changed colour.
And eventually things…settled.
People found a new way of life, coming back each year to celebrate those who were lost. And then new life was brought into the mix.
Not too long after Pepper had given birth to Morgan, you were faced with a positive pregnancy test result yourself.
And Natasha was your first call.
“What’s going on? I have an extra gun in the car if we need it.”
You showed it to her. “What does that show?”
“Holy shit, you’re pregnant.”
A small whimper left your lips as you handed her the test stick and started pacing around your bathroom.
“Are…are we not happy about that?”
You whimpered again as you paced up and down. “I-I don’t know. We-we haven’t planned anything. I mean, we’ve talked about it a few times but what if something goes wrong? Are you sure it was positive?”
Natasha looked back at it. “Well, it’s got a plus sign so-”
“It’s the third I’ve taken this week. The other two came up invalid but that one was like a bright flashing light.”
Reaching for you by the shoulders, Natasha sat you down. “Okay, first off, breathe.”
You did so.
And then some more.
“Okay. Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna go and get you another box of tests. Proper ones, not these things. And you’re gonna call Steve.”
“He’ll probably pass out. Why do you think I called you?”
Natasha laughed. “Just call him. I’ll be right back.”
And she was.
Walking back inside, she called out and Steve called back.
Three minutes later, you were all huddled in the bathroom waiting for the result to finally show.
“What if it’s a false positive? If it’s positive-positive, will I be able to carry the baby?”
Crouching down in front of you, Steve held your hand. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. Together. Okay?”
You took a breath and nodded. Leaning up, Steve kissed you and you kissed him back.
You’d been having conversations about starting a family together for a while, but neither of you had started planning it just yet. Mostly because you hadn’t gotten around to it. And you didn’t know if you could even carry Steve’s kid. For all either of you knew, the serum would carry onto your child.
Natasha looked at her phone.
“It’s time.”
With a shaky breath, you and Steve stood. However, you paused as you reached for the test.
“Count me down.”
Steve chuckled softly, counting back from three.
After one, you turned it over.
Pregnant 3+ weeks
You felt yourself smile and laugh a little before showing Steve.
“You’re gonna be a dad.”
Taking the test from your hands, Steve took one look at it before the water-works started.
Nine months later, inside the Avengers compound, Natasha was walking with you.
“Once they started arguing over what the manual said, I made a break for it.”
Tony had surprised you and Steve at your home and after an hour, Steve had wrangled him in to help build the crib. It was the final thing that needed to be built and since Steve had banned you from lifting heavy things since you had elected to ignore your midwife and pushed the crib from the living room and into the nursery. You couldn’t help.
“Have you decided on a name yet?”
You shook your head. “Not yet.”
“Well, I might be biassed but Natasha is a really good name.”
You laughed a little. “I’ll think about it.”
Natasha smiled, holding onto your hand as she helped you down one of the narrower steps.
However, halfway around the building, you stopped.
“Everything okay?”
You nodded. “Just a bit of cramp.”
But it wasn’t just cramp.
Barely a second later, you felt water trail down your leg until there was a louder splash against the tiles.
“Oh, shit.”
You looked down. “Oh, my god.”
“Okay, okay. We’re okay.”
You nodded, taking hold of her hand as she walked you down the hall.
“Steve’s old room is just down the hall. Once we get you there-”
“Call him.”
“I know, I will.”
“No, call him now. Please.”
Twenty minutes later, Tony’s car was kicking gravel up and onto the windshield. Steve ran inside, nearly taking out a few employees on the way.
Almost fifteen hours later, a healthy baby girl was delivered.
With her in Steve’s arms, bundled in a fresh baby blanket, everyone stood around the bed.
“Only took you a decade.”
Steve chuckled, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from his daughter. And neither could you.
And for almost four years, it was blissful.
As your daughter grew up, Steve told her stories and showed her pictures of the 40s. Even at the age of three, she seemed wise beyond her years.
Then one night, everything changed.
Recently, she hadn’t been sleeping. So, lay in bed with you whilst Steve was still at work, you told her a few bedtime stories but when Steve came in an hour or so later, he found her still awake.
“You should be asleep,” he whispered to her.
“I tried. Mommy fell asleep, though.”
Steve looked over and smiled. “Come on, let your mom sleep.”
Picking his daughter up, Steve carried her down the hall, leaving his jacket on the bed beside you. Making sure to close the door behind him, Steve started to talk to his daughter.
Their conversation eventually turned to someone from Steve’s past.
“Daddy, whose that?”
Steve looked at the photo. It was him and Bucky during his army days, though both were out of uniform and in civilian clothing. There weren't many pictures of Bucky in normal clothes.
“That’s Uncle Buck.”
“But he’s not in green.”
Steve chuckled. “You’re right, he’s not. That was when we were in London. Pinky, one of the Howling Commandos, decided to take us on a tour of London.”
“Wow.”
She was awe-struck.
“Does he know I was born?”
Steve felt a pang in his chest. “Maybe. I don’t know if he can hear me, but I’ve told him.”
“Would he like me?”
Steve smiled. “He’d love you.”
Kissing her temple, Steve sat down in one of the chairs. “Try and get some sleep.”
Steve himself must have fallen asleep because next thing he knew, you were waking him up. Your daughter was still fast asleep, he carried her to bed before you led him down the hall and he collapsed onto your shared bed.
The next time he woke up that morning, everything you both knew was about to change.
Time Travel.
There was a chance everyone could be brought back.
And after a long conversation, one that was overheard by your daughter who had been playing in the back garden with the family dog, Steve accepted what he had to do.
“You and Aunty Nat will have pictures again.”
Handing Steve a slightly mud scattered, crinkled, crayon drawing; your daughter had drawn a picture with everyone on it.
Herself, you, the dog, Steve, Nat, Bucky, Sam with his wings, Clint with his bow and arrow, Thor and his hammer, Tony, Bruce…the stick men with different items, standing on a green field with a corner sun, continued on and on.
It was that night you kissed Steve and he said what could have been his final goodbye to your daughter. She held onto him tightly, telling him she loved him. The only thing that carried him on his feet was the thought of going through what Scott was.
In the time he got stuck, he thought his daughter was gone.
Steve would have done anything to get his daughter back.
And it didn’t take much for him to remember the pain that washed through and over him when he thought he lost you.
Scott, like many others, had lost someone they loved. So had Steve. But he hadn’t lost you, though he thought he did.
People needed their families back.
And that’s what they got.
At the cost of Tony’s life.
After everything had settled, you drove as fast as you could to find Steve. And you found him far outside of the Avengers compound, crouched on the floor.
“Steve!? Steve!”
Looking up, he spotted you amongst the grey smoke. A shining light in the darkness.
Running as fast as you could, you eventually reached him.
“I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to know if you were okay. Are you okay?”
Steve’s voice was quiet. “He’s gone.”
“Gone? Who’s gone?”
Steve’s voice broke. “T-tony. Tony’s gone.”
“Oh, my god.”
As Steve hugged you, you held him as tightly as you could. He asked about your daughter.
“She’s with my dad back home. She’s safe. She just needs a cuddle from her dad.”
Steve nodded. “I think I need one from her, too.”
Two weeks later, Steve brought Bucky and Sam home.
“Honey, come here.” Your daughter ran to her dad’s side. “Sam, Buck. I’d like you to meet Aurora. Rory, honey, this is Sam and Bucky.”
Sam knelt down and shook her hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you, miss.”
Meanwhile, Bucky was in pure shock. Slowly, he knelt beside Sam and Bucky felt his life flash before his eyes.
“Steve…she looks like your mom.”
As Rory studied Bucky, she decided to hug him. Sam smiled and so did you and Steve. And eventually Bucky hugged her back, frightened he might break her.
“Can I show them my room?”
The consensus was yes and whilst Sam was dragged towards her bedroom, Rory shouting for you to follow, Bucky and Steve followed behind.
Inside her room, her walls were covered in different pictures she’d drawn of the different stories Steve had told her. Of course, most of them were stick men, but the message was still clear.
A week later, a funeral was held for Tony and the Stones had to be returned.
Standing beside Bucky as Steve stood on the platform, Aurora stood and waited in between both of you.
And in what was a few seconds later, Steve returned with Natasha by his side.
Aurora gasped and bolted forward.
“Aunty Nat!”
“Careful, kiddo.” Steve warned just before Aurora collided with her, but Natasha shook her head.
“It’s okay.”
Lifting her into her arms, she hugged her tightly.
“You’re back.”
Natasha smiled. “Thanks to your dad.”
Looking at her dad, she smiled before hugging Natasha again.
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
Natasha nodded and carried Rory back towards you before everyone started running over. Meanwhile, you watched as Steve walked over to Sam.
Ten minutes later, your daughter bolted from the crowd and towards her dad who was finally out of his protection suit.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
Seeing you again, Steve kissed you before kissing Rory’s cheek.
“Everything okay?”
Steve watched as Fury made his way over to Sam, and he smiled.
“Everything’s good.”
Kissing you again, Steve smiled. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For walking into that room when you did.” Steve told you. “I’m just sorry it took me so long to do something about it.”
You shook your head, looking from him to your daughter and back to him. “It happened when it was meant to.”
Steve smiled before he kissed you. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Tony was right; Steve found the life with you he’d always wanted, even if it did take him a decade to do something about it.
#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers#captain america x reader#steve rogers captain america x reader#captain america x you#steve rogers captain america x you#steve rogers captain america#this fic is long#in google docs its 23 pages#found family#reader helps steve adjust to the modern world#the avengers#marvel#mcu#mcu x reader#tony stark#natasha romanoff#clint barton#sam wilson#bucky barnes#x platonic reader#falling in love#fluff#angst#kissing#spoilers for marvel pre and during endgame#probably plot holes and spelling mistakes#Natasha comes back with Steve and Sam becomes Captain America#aurora means 'dawn' -- also new beginnings
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Eyes of Gold (Part 12)
(A WukongxReader story inspired by Beauty and the Beast and Lutung Kasarung.) (First) (Prev)
“Where are you? Please come out?”
The whispers of a familiar voice roused you from a restless sleep. You yawned and blearily squinted around you, trying to remember where you were. The shadowy silhouettes and dust tickling your nose brought back memories of a storage room. It had been daylight when you first hid but now, night had shrouded you in disorienting darkness. You sat curled up in the corner, wondering how much time had passed and if it was safe to finally leave.
A quiet creak startled you as the door swung open. You watched a shadow silently creep in, slow and low to the floor. As you grew more accustomed to the dark, the form of a small monkey took shape. A familiar monkey with glowing, golden eyes.
“Peaches, are you in here?”
You sat up from your hiding spot in surprise. “Shihou?”
As soon as he saw you, Shihou dashed across the room and flung himself onto you. He clung to your shoulder and patting your face with his tiny paws. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”
“I’m fine,” you assured the monkey, wrapping your cloak around him in a warm hug. “What are you doing here? Won’t you get in trouble?”
“I was worried.” Concern, relief, and disapproval flashed across his face when he met your eyes. “You didn’t return to the mountain after the demons left.”
“I guess you heard about the attack, then?”
“Yes.” His frown pulled into a scowl, teeth bared as he glowered at the floor. “If I had known Bull Demon King was here, I never would have let you leave alone.”
You ran a hand through his fur, feeling him relax under your soothing touch. “It’s okay, you didn’t know.”
“Why didn’t you come back?”
“I was helping the villagers,” you said, sitting back down with Shihou perching on your lap. “Thankfully, no one was hurt; just some damaged buildings. But when my sister heard the demons were gone, she came to see for herself. Elder Gran sent me to hide until she left but I guess I fell asleep.” Gentle brushes smoothed his agitated fur back into place. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
Shihou sighed and nuzzled against your shoulder. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”
“Thanks to your hair.” Shihou suddenly looked worried when he met your gaze. You quickly explained to calm his concern. “It protected me when the bull tried to attack. Sorry I lost it. I think Sun Wukong took it with him…” you trailed off with a yawn.
“Don’t worry about it. As long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters,” the monkey said with a relieved smile. “You should get some rest. We can return to the mountain in the morning.”
Shaking your head, you forced yourself to stand, keeping Shihou balanced on your shoulder. “No, we should leave now while everyone else is asleep. I’ve already stayed too long and my sister might catch us trying to leave it we wait.”
“If you insist,” Shihou agreed hesitantly. “There were guards posted around the village when I snuck in. I can guide you around them but we’ll still have to be careful.”
You nodded. “Okay. Let’s get going.” Pulling your cloak close and Shihou closer, you slipped out of the storage room and through the empty house with careful steps. At the front door, you paused to peek out.
Tilting his head, Shihou listened and pointed down a side street. “No guards for now. That should be the fastest route out of town. Once we’re outside the village, I can take you the rest of the way.”
With a final glance, you hurried down the alley and into the shadows. The night was thankfully empty, the rest of the village sleeping off a stressful day. Only moonlight and icy wind filled the streets as you weaved between buildings. Distant voices on the winter breeze occasionally floated by. Each time, you would freeze and Shihou would listen but the guards were too far and too distracted to be of concern.
It took longer than expected and exhaustion was quickly catching up. Your steps were clumsy, your body weary, and yawns plagued you with every other breath. Even your eyes were fighting to slip close between heavy blinks.
Soon, you reached the edge of the village, shivering from bitter cold and fatigue. You almost cried seeing the great stretch of field and looming mountain still left to traverse.
“I’ve got it from here,” Shihou said, nimbly flipping off your shoulder. In a puff of smoke, he transformed and landed in his taller demon form. You weren’t sure if it was your own tired mind or the moonlight softening his features but his figure seemed more striking than usual. It was only made worse when he smiled at you; warm, golden eyes brightening his handsome face. “Come on, up you get.”
You were still recovering from your drowsy admirations when Shihou turned and knelt away from you. “What?”
“I said I would carry you before and this will get us back to the mountain faster.” He grabbed your hand and tugged you forward so you were flush against him. Looping your arms around his neck, he held your knees and stood, easily hoisting you onto his back. “Ready?”
Too tired to protest, you only nodded and nestled against his warm shoulder. “Yeah, let’s go home,” you mumbled sleepily.
Shihou startled and stumbled a bit but quickly recovered with a brisk pace. “Sure thing, Peaches. You get some rest; we’ll be there in no time.”
You closed your eyes and drifted off, only half aware of your surroundings. Shihou’s rhythmic steps, quick and sure; his hold never faltering. Winter chill shifting to a summery heat, chasing away your lingering shivers. The quiet ambiance of the slumbering jungle settling around you as the mountain welcomed you back. It was comforting and familiar and gently lulled you to sleep.
The next thing you knew, Shihou was setting you down amongst plush blankets and fluffy pillows. As he turned to leave, you caught his hand and clung to it. “Stay?” you asked, smiling soft and sweet. Your half open eyes caught his flustered face but he didn’t shy away. Instead, you felt him shuffle into bed next to you, hugging you against him in a comforting embrace. Warm fur tickled your cheek, carrying his soothing scent of peaches and stone. You snuggled closer as you felt the tug of sleep pulling you back under.
“Goodnight, Shihou,” you whispered.
The last thing you remembered was his purred, “Goodnight, my Peach,” and the gentle press of lips to your brow.
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~🍑 Peach Friends 🍑~
@joyfulllittlething @iluxurycruisedthatship @drspecialhell @moondrop39-dovewing70 @happycarp @chibifox88 @rutabaga-menace
(If you would like to join the tag list, let me know!)
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Something fluffy and cute with the return of Shihou! Just to share the vision of the soft boi, he's absolutely inspired by various artworks I saw of the 1996 Journey to the West. Thank you so much for reading, all the wonder feedback has kept me motivated! Until next time!
You can also find this story on AO3:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/60643669
#Monkey King x Reader#Monkey King#Sun Wukong x Reader#Sun Wukong#Eyes of Gold#Shihou#Shihou the Monkey#Shihou x Reader#Beauty and the Beast#Lutung Kasarung#Fairytale and Folktale Inspired#Journey to the West#JTTW#Black Myth Wukong#BMW#KayNanArie#Peach Friend
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I hope you are well, sorry if there are any errors (English is not my native language), I love your stories, I would like you to write one of anguish, sadness, as sad as you can, about Rafe. I would appreciate it very much
long sleeves- r.c. x reader
OMGG my first request!!! i'm good and i hope you are as well <3 thank you for asking bb. sorry i took so long, i just started school and i hadn't seen this for some reason, but i gotchu. and don't worry about the english, it's not my first language either, so i see you hehe I HOPE THIS IS SAD ENOUGH!! if not lmk, cuz i'll crank it up. a/n: i actually had this idea earlier today so i think i can do this. i hope you like gracie abrams cuz it's inspired by long sleeves and i've wanted to use this song in something since it came out lol. warnings: drug mentions with addiction portrayal and domestic violence, as well as depression. if it's too much don't read it, take care of yourself first! <3
i don't know what it is about how you breathe.
his chest rising and falling, his face turned away from me even in his sleep. it seemed like it was always this way now, so much so that i couldn't even remember the last time his eyes warmed my soul instead of turning it into ice. i turned to face the ceiling and took in a few deep breaths, before i untangled myself from his sheets and padded toward the bathroom. i turned on the light before locking the door behind me and turned to face the mirror. my hollow, tired face staring back at me. when had i become this girl? i stepped closer as if in fear of seeing up close the sadness that invaded my features. dark circles looked permanently etched to my skin a shiver passing through me. i looked down at my arms, which were covered by rafe's long sleeved shirt. i lifted them slowly and saw the bruises that circled my wrists like a twisted version of bracelets.
he hurt me. not just emotionally this time, he physically hurt me.
i'll never hurt you, okay? how stupid i'd been to believe those words, when all he ever did was hurt me. again and again and again. the worst part being that i always forgave him, but i couldn't this time, not when the evidence was staring right at me in the mirror. i had to do this for her, for me. i pull the sleeves down and left the sad girl in the mirror forever. the doorknob somehow felt like the scariest thing in the world. it's just a door, don't be an idiot. i rolled my eyes because that was the only thing i could be these days. a fucking idiot.
i gathered what little courage i still had left and opened the door silently, relieved to see him in the same position as before. i went to the side of his bed as quietly as i could and looked at his face for what felt like forever. his hair fell over his forehead in a childlike manner, no angry lines or hateful glares in sight.
when had i lost him? the love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend?
this was all my fault, i turned my back at the wrong moment. his stupid friends encouraging him to try out this new 'kicker'. snow, they called it. ridiculous. when i came back he was cutting that ivory into skinny pieces, then he cleaned it with his face. i remember standing there in shock and a sizzling rage began brimming to the surface. i stalked towards him pushing his face back, then dragging him by the arm outside of whatever stupid kook's house we were at.
that was the first time we'd ever fought and i felt my heart crack a little. he knew how much i hated drugs, the way they ruined people. hell, i even hated drinking but it wasn't my body so whatever. this was different and he knew it, but of course he always had to be the coolest guy around his friends. i'd walked home that night, waking up to him blasting my phone with calls and text messages. he'd apologized and i'd believed him.
then he apologized again, then again and again. the cycle had already formed. i'd accepted his outbursts despite them hurting me emotionally, maybe because i couldn't see the bruises up front.
it was hard to believe this was the same boy who'd screamed at me. who told me he hated me to my face with his hands wrapped around my wrists hard enough to bruise just a few hours earlier before passing out after getting high again. he almost looked like his old self, almost being the keyword. his nose still had a bit of white powder on it, a baggie of cocaine and a rolled up $100 bill at the side, along with some pills that i didn't even want to know what they were.
i turned and took out the bag i usually brought when i was staying over at his house, before walking towards the dresser and opening the drawers. i had a small haul of clothes for when i was here for more than a day or two and couldn't help but let the tears start streaming down my face. i remembered the day he'd made this small space for me, the gesture solidifying our relationship in my head. i remembered his smile and the way he'd kissed my face for what seemed a million times. "i love you, kid." he always called me kid in a teasing way because it irritated the hell out of me but when he said it like that, i knew i'd let him call me whatever he wanted and i'd gladly accept it.
the memory was a stark contrast to the now cold room, with the moon as my only witness. i finished packing everything before putting on sweatpants and my shoes. i felt him stir a bit and i pleaded to whatever divine power was out there that he'd just pretend it was only wind.
i looked at his beautiful face one more time, a single tear falling to his side, the irony not lost on me.
i turned and left him behind. the tears blurred my vision just enough that i couldn't record the final moments in which i would ever walk these halls again.
y'all why she so dramatic with her packing up, lmaoo. (i literally would’ve been worse)
ok but on a serious note, if you or anybody you know is in a similar situation, please try your best to break the cycle <3 i'm thinking of maybe writing a part two but i don't know if i should sooo lmk. div creds!!- by @anitalenia
#outer banks#rafe cameron#obx#obx fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe obx#rafe x you#rafe outer banks#rafe imagine#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks angst#rafe cameron angst#drew starkey#long sleeves#gracie abrams#gracie slaybrams#anon ask#obx fic#spotify#rafe angst#thanks anon!
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My entire life, I thought I had straight hair.
You might ask, how do you NOT know your hair is wavy? Doesn’t it wave naturally?
It does, but only if allowed the opportunity and the encouragement to take its natural shape.
Growing up, if you were a girl, you got up early before school, showered, and then gave yourself an EXHAUSTING salon-level blowout every single morning. If you didn’t, if you let it *gasp* NOT be flat and shiny, you were considered dirty, unkempt, not feminine enough. The only exceptions being the CURLY folks, the female identifying goddesses who could NEVER ever be mistaken for straight-haired girls because their hair slingshots back into shape the moment any moisture hits it.
Over the years, I laid on more damage that society demanded, or so I believed. I bleached it to match my Marilyn aesthetic at the time. Platinum blonde, ramrod straight and then, ironically, hot rolled into submission to create the look of artificial pin curls.
All that bleach and all that heat, of course, destroyed the strength of my hair. It was brittle and, while it looked beautiful from the outside observer, I was losing a battle with it.
Growing up in South FL, the heat and humidity were my constant source of struggle. No matter what I did, how much I ironed my hair silky straight, it would fluff up like a chia pet within 15 minutes of going outside.
Looking at other girls around me who did not share this same struggle, I felt defeated. Why can’t my hair just lay flat? I mean, it LOOKS straight in the morning, I’ve always been able to shock it straight since childhood . . . What’s happening to my hair?
Well, motherhood happened. I was too tired to continue my battle with the blow dryer and flat iron every day, so I said fuck it, and just started letting it air dry.
At this point, my strands had been beaten down to the point where they were like, yeah . . . we’re not gonna lie flat and be cooperative, but we also don’t have the proteins and care required to spring back to life. So I got what could best be described as slightly bent frizz. I was very close to accepting this as just my lot in life when someone said, look at all that frizz! It looks like your hair is trying to curl.
My initial response was . . . No way! It’s definitely straight! It’s always been straight. I’ve worked really hard to assure it’s straight because, for me, the alternative was unattainable.
This kind soul turned me onto the curly hair method and assured me that If I put in the work to undo the damage I’d done to it over the course of my entire life, I would see significant change.
The day I finally accepted this was when schools shut down in Japan and I lost my job during the pandemic. I no longer had a reason to conform.
So, over the course of the next few months, I implemented the changes she had suggested and my hair improved dramatically! I won’t say it was always pretty . . . It was super awkward at first and I had to endure cold silent judgement when out and about in ULTRA conservative rural Japan, where any texture in your hair is equated with moral decay (not even exaggerating . . . try going to an onsen with a visible tattoo).
But now . . . my hair is thriving. As soon as water hits it in the shower, it clumps up and beings to curl. I haven’t straightened my hair myself in years.
If you’re thinking this sounds a bit like a metaphor, that’s because it is. Yes, this IS also the truth about my hair journey.
But just like my hair, I went through my entire life assuming I was straight. I’m married. I was married previously. I’ve had some very good relationships with men. I’ve had some REALLY bad relationships with men, but my relationships with my female friends have always felt a bit desperate, a showering of affection I tried to mentally attribute to my being on the spectrum.
Events in my life have recently caused some serious reflection . . . on female friendships I’ve had over the years that felt entirely one-sided, a longing for something deeper that just wasn’t reflected back at me. At a certain point, after losing my dearest friend to cancer in my early 20s, I shut down female friendships. They were too painful for me and I never understood why.
I am not straight. Never have been. I’m bisexual. This doesn’t change my relationship with my husband, any more than the fact that I appreciate most men would cause me to dart off after the nearest alternative. However, accepting this about myself has unlocked a sea of understanding about my past, about my role in those failed friendships, the expectations I was unknowingly placing on these girls which, because they were hidden, even from myself, they were destined to fall short of.
Over the course of the last month, I’ve been reeling with this paradigm shifting revelation and one thing I’ve come to understand is that I’m not my own type. I’m not drawn to girls who look like me (or at least look like I DID, with the pinup makeup and exhausting beauty routine). There’s nothing WRONG with that, but I’m not attracted to it because it holds no mystery for me. I know how hard they are working. I know the art and the artifice. Because I never looked at a woman as beautiful as Max and had FEELINGS, I assumed I had to be straight. If one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen makes me think *meh*, then I guess I must not be attracted to women.
But then, there are those women who simply do not give a fuck. Not a single one. And yet, they glow. They know no shame and have always known who they are and fight for the world as it should be, not as it is. And look at that! It appears I do have a type, after all. I guess you could say they are the Madis of this world, the Mirandas of this world.
To those women, thank you. I intend to approach life brackets emptied. Unredacted.
Love is love.
#know no shame#black sails#madi scott#miranda hamilton#coming out#bi awakening#wavy hair#hair journey#straight hair as a metaphor#some of you know my story already and thank you for the care you took and your kind guidance#I am eternally grateful#lgbtq positivity#max
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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐲 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐍𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫! | fushiguro tōji
𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Not only are you drunk on a Friday night, but you’re a drunk, closeted succubus who is, unfortunately, under the care of the hot neighbor under your roof! Would you ruin the mood if he found out about your little secret? You don’t even wanna know!
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Toji x afab/fem! succubus reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern au! reader + Toji are neighbors - age difference; reader is in late-20s + Toji is mid/late 40s - crushing/mutual pining - drug/alcohol usage - fingering (f! receiving) - oral (f! + m! receiving) - clitoral play (swiping) - Daddy kink - sqǔitïng - anal play (m! receiving) - 69 + backshots + spooning + cowgirl positions - unprotected sex (psa: wrap it up, or get tf up) - creampies - praise kink - pet names (baby, doll, dollface, good girl, mama, princess, sweetie) - implied marathon sex - mention of drool/spit, tears, and cum - not proofread; will do l8r.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.8k
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: pulled this story out of my ass; I literally spent a whole single DAY dedicating to writing it. please enjoy, and tysm for 11.9k loveliesss ☆ love and appreciate u all !!
“…shit.”
There’s no way.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit—”
Of all days for this to happen.
“Oh, my fucking God, not tonight!!”
Tonight was already an eventful night, with the full moon shining brighter than the stars. Life has put you so fast in a whirlwind that you can’t recall the last time you permitted your body to unwind. Can you blame yourself, though? From moving to a new neighborhood and scoring a new job, things have kept you undeniably busy for the past few months. And not too mention, it’s your fault for being a bit of a hermit and lacking a drive for social interaction.
That’s precisely why your old college besties – Shoko, Utahime, and Yuki – pulled you out of your hideyhole and encouraged you to join them this Friday night to have some fun! “C’mo~n, lighten up! No more thinking about work or whatever; have some fun!” “Yeah, y’know you’re my biggest drinking buddy. Now, hurry up and share this cocktail with me!” The ladies pressure you to relax and enjoy the start of the weekend with some good drinks and delicious food. And, you hate to admit, it worked like a charm – the longer the hours went, the more you felt free as if all the weight holding you down had been lifted.
The only problem is, like all good things, that it had to end and that you had to go home. Now check this out: 1) you left your car at home because, again, you were rigorously dragged out of your abode by your college companions. 2) You were all pretty much drunk, enough for neither one of you to drive on the road. And 3) you guys are in the city, and catching a lift is not only a gamble but SUPER expensive! Guess that’s what you get for choosing a Friday night to free-ball.
However, when hope was lost, and you wouldn’t be in the comfort of your bed tonight, you received a text on your phone, and you could practically hear the angels sing in the heavens above!
Recent Message from: Neighbor Fushiguro
Yo. You home? I’m out in the city picking up stuff for the house. Need anything?
Thank God for neighbors, am I right? The chances of someone you know being within the same vicinity of you may be low, but never zero! Did you feel bad that you texted back saying you needed a ride back to your house? Sure. Did you feel extra bad when you asked a huge favor for him to drop your friends off at the nearest hotel? …Yeah.
But luckily, he didn’t seem to mind. The only thing you had to endure was him teasing you about your little outing (with the help of your friends in the back of his truck) and your tipsy persona. “Never took you fr’ one who drinks.” He scoffs while putting you down on your couch after slinging you over his shoulder because you complained about your feet hurting. Damn heels! “Neither one who gets drunk.”
“It wasn’t my fauuu~lt,” you whine with a significant stretch while your neighbor roams around. “My fwiends, they forced me to–hic–to do it…”
“Mm, do your ‘fwiends’ always push you over to do things?” He shouts from the kitchen; you can hear cabinets opening and closing.
“When you’re the youngest of the group, they do.”
“Well, maybe I gotta get to know ‘em so they can push you into goin’ out more. And maybe you can quit avoidin’ me when I invite you over.”
“I don’t try to avoid you!” You sprout defensively. “And quit teasing me, Toji! You’re supposed’ta be on my side; I’m the victim here.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever ya say.” Heavy footsteps draw nearer to where you are, and your heavy eyelids open to see a hand stretching towards you with a glass of water. “I’m here takin’ care of ya now, aren’t I, lil’ victim?”
A smile pulls your lips as you take the glass. “Thank you,” you express before a sip, and your neighbor lifts your feet to sit on the cushion beside you.
“Y’re welcome,” he places your legs on his lap, grabbing the remote to turn on the television.
You haven’t been in this neighborhood long enough to say you have friends. Don’t get it wrong; everyone you contacted has been lovely and friendly, and some have opted to help with your move! But aside from the casual greetings in the morning or the nods of acknowledgment, you barely know people who scratch the surface of acquaintanceship. Not to mention, it’s your fault for being a bit of a hermit.
…But, there is one neighbor you could say you’re pretty close with. Someone nice. Someone dependable…Someone attractive that you’re on a mission not to stare too much.
Toji Fushiguro lives two houses down from you across the street. Remember I mentioned you had people assist with your move? This widowed, middle-aged man was one of the nice handymen who aided you and your friends with your boxes and heavy furniture. You remember it like yesterday, seeing this brawny man stroll up your driveway on the sunniest day of June. You nearly mistook him for an Olympic athlete.
“So, y’re the one movin’ ‘round here?” The calm baritone of his voice was unforced. “Nice to know there’s a cute face on the newbie. Need any help?” It’s how he asked – so sultry and alluring you almost spaced out before nodding absentmindedly to his request for aid, hoping he didn’t notice you watch how the scar of his lip moved as he spoke. “Welcome to the neighb’rhood, kid.” Rarely do you have butterflies running amok in the pits of your guts, but they were challenging to deal with that day.
And it doesn’t get any better from that day forward. No matter how hard you wished not to run into this immediate crush of yours, he would somehow wheedle his way into your path. It started slow, exchanging hellos or good mornings whenever he left for work or you took the garbage out. Then came the “Want me to do y’r lawn fr’ ya?” or the “House down the street’s havin’ a little barbecue, wanna get to know people?” You thought moving away from the busy city life would die things down. However, Toji making your head race every chance he gets wasn’t a move you could envisage. Think about how you felt the day he asked for your number to keep in contact “fr’ emergencies…or if ya need anythin’, shoot me a call,” how your heart jumped to your throat! Oh, the girls never stopped teasing you when you told…
Nonetheless, you can’t deny how much help he’s been. Well, outside of that, just being a great neighbor all around. Besides being an absolute succor, he’s an outlet you can come to for anything. Whether for the house, the community, or just personal conversations, Toji’s someone you can admitlingly say you’d depend on. With trust built from day one, sharing pieces of yourselves to break down barriers, it’s safe to say that he is undoubtedly a friend who made your decision to move a worthy risk.
…Yet, what’s even more risky is being alone with him, something you do everything you can to avoid. Why? Look at him! Would you trust yourself to be anywhere with this man alone? Of course not! This is why tonight is the riskiest night you’ve ever bestowed upon your drunk self.
“You got somthin’ to say?”
“Huh?” You perk to reality, anxiousness filling you once you realize you had been staring at the man. “N-No, I’m sorry.”
He stifles a snort, grabbing your feet to massage them from the pain. “Oh, wanna act quiet. You were all bubbly in the passenger seat with y’re friends. Now y’re all shy because y’re stuck with me, huh?”
“T-That’s not true!” A lie; he was right on the mark. Your heart has been beating nonstop once he sat next to you. “It’s just that…I’m sorry for making you drive and pick me and the girls up.”
“Nah, don’t apologize,” his focus is on your feet as he kneads and rubs the sole of your foot. “Told ya I was around the area doing some shoppin’, so pickin’ ya up on my way back was easy.”
You take another sip of your water. “Shopping?”
“Mm, my kids are down here for the weekend, so I had to go out fr’ a bit and grab shit fr’ my daughter.” Ah, yes, Toji is a father; you remember him telling you about his two children in college, a junior and a sophomore. “They’re at the house right now; saw ‘em after I dropped stuff at the house before bringin’ ya home.”
You hum. “Sorry for stealin’ you from them for a bit.”
He shakes his head with a humorless laugh. “Please, they probably don’t even know I’m gone. They’re big kids. Plus,” your breath hitches when emerald eyes trail to you. “Now I get to finally have you all to myself, no curvin’ me and whatever this time.”
“I’m not tryin’ to curve…”
“Yeah, yeah.” He goes back to massaging your feet.
“…Thanks again, Toji. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem, sweetheart.” Your abdomen flexes at the use of the nickname. “You know I always got you…Say, did you hit y’r head somewhere?”
You blink, eyebrows furrow. “No? Why?”
He points to his temple. “Because I see like a lump right here.”
You mirror his movements, your hand touching the spot he’s pointing. And your fingertips meet with a lump on a location that sparks too much familiarity. You gasp aloud and cover the lump with your hand, the other covering your other temple.
Oh, no.
Black eyebrows knit together. “You okay?”
Play it cool! “Y-Yeah, yeah, I’m fine! You’re right; I probably hit my head somewhere while out.” You take this time to remove your legs off the comfort of Toji’s lap and stand up from the couch. “I’ll put something on it to stop the swelling.” You can also sense something aching down your lower back at that moment. Oh, hell no!!
“Ya sure? Need me fr’ any—“
BZZZZ!! BZZZZ!!
Toji’s cut off from the vibration of his phone in his jeans, pulling the device out to see that someone called “Megumi” was calling. Good, a distraction!
“N–No, no, I’m good from here.” You say through gritted teeth, the alcohol taking effect and making your stance a little buzzy to uphold. “J-Just stay here, I’ll be back!” You don’t even wait for his approval, turning on your heel and heading out of the living room to the stairs. Your body feels wobbly with every step you take, but you don’t pay it any mind because you can feel the lumps beneath your palms increasing. “God, please, not now, not today…!”
You march as fast as you can to your bedroom, nearly stumbling on the floor as you haul ass to your bathroom door. You do a terrible job watching your footing fall after rushing to turn the lights on, and stuff from the counter falls because of the impact. But you didn’t care, shuffling up so you could look at the mirror. And the sight you see fills you with immediate dread.
Horns are the first thing you see from either side of your head; the tips curl as if to form a crown but point to the ceiling. Your eyes are no longer human-like, pupils shaped like slits as if morphing into a reptile. And your ears get horizontally pointier. “…shit.”
You then lift your skirt and tear a hole in your pantyhose above the hem of your panties, and your fear quadruples at the sight of something long and slithery protruding out of the hole. A long tail with a pointy end; you lose your mind. “Shit, shit, shit, shit—”
It’s then you realize why this is happening: you had forgotten to take your daily supplements that are meant to subjugate these features of yourself. You’ve been taking them for the longest time before you moved into this neighborhood, so you’re used to your typical human facade. Now, seeing these parts of yourselves is the very LAST thing you need right now!
And then something hits you, an unsettling feeling that you’re too scared to confirm. Your eyes travel down to your shirt, your hands hesitantly pulling the bottom tucked into your skirt and lifting to reveal your navel. You then tug the top of your skirt to expose a spot you’re honed in on the mirror. And the urge to scream grows tenfold once you see a black marking on the lower part of your belly.
A womb tattoo!?!?
“Oh, my fucking God, not tonight!!”
“YO, HEY!” And just when it couldn’t get worse, you hear Toji coming up the stairs and beelining for your open bedroom door. Wait, no— “I heard screamin’ and a big ‘boom,’ you alright? Where are y—“
Your neighbor stops dead in his tracks once he appears in front of the bathroom opening; his concerned expression shifts to an immediate neutral deadpan. He stares at you, and you stare back at him, the silence so thick you could cut it with a knife. A ring fills your eardrums, dissociating from this entire scene and all its complications.
You want to cry. Maybe scream, throw up, or just straight up die on the spot.
Because this wasn’t the night for someone to find out you’re a succubus.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“…”
“…”
“…So, what are you?”
Not even concealing your face in your pillow can hide you from the eventual questions of Toji, who sits idly on the corner of your bed. You cringe internally, never thinking this dilemma would befall you. The point of moving was to turn a new page in your life and leave the past behind with the city. Now, you are shriveling on top of your bed like a moody teenager, and your neighborhood crush is here to witness your depression.
“…What happened to your phone call?”
“It was my kid. I told him to lock the door since I’ll be out a little longer. Don’t try and deflect,” his blunt answer has you descend further to your inner turmoil. “How come I never seen these horns before?”
You sigh heavily; there’s no point in trying to divert now. “…I take supplements that hinder any features of my succubus appearance so I can look like an average human for the rest of the day.”
“Daily?” He sees you nod through his peripheral. “Succubus…the hell’s that?”
“Basically, I’m a demon that…that…” Yeah, no, let’s not finish that. “Never mind.”
“Bullshit. Tell me.”
“D-Don’t worry about it, it’s not—“
“Look here,” he speaks to you with a stern tone, a hand coming to your waist to shove you a bit. “I went ahead and picked y’re drunk butt up, made sure ya don’t puke up a storm, and now y’re here looking way different from before. The least you could do is explain.”
God, to be lectured by a human – totally humiliating…! “…I’m a demon that gets energy from…se–….sexu, uhh………..sexualactivitywithhumanbeings.”
The silence that trails after your ramble is beyond awkward.
“Oh.”
…
“Oh.”
God, just kill me right now!
The older man forces a cough. “So, you…have sex every day?” You can practically sense the tiny hint of discomfort from prompting that question.
“W-Well, I used to when I was younger. But I haven’t really…done it in a couple of years.” Jesus Christ, why is it so embarrassing to admit to someone other than yourself? This is the literal worst!
“Is that bad?”
“It’s, uhh…It can be?”
“So, why haven’t you done it?”
“Because…!” You snap your face out of your pillow and finally allow yourself to breathe correctly. “I just…I don’t have time like I used to anymore, and using my powers to make people forget afterward can get tiring. Also, the more times I do it, the more my drive gets intense from the last. The desire of a succubus can be dangerous, you know? And since it’s been a while since I’ve let my powers out, I’m sure it’s nastier than ever…”
“…Well,” Toji turns to face you. “Have you ever had the urge recently?”
“I-” Woah. That question came out of nowhere, almost answering it without proper consideration. “Wh–What do you mean by that…”
He shrugs. “Like—you know what I mean—like, even though you try to suppress it, do you still have those urges to do…ya know, it?”
Things get a little uncomfortable here; now you wish you kept your face in that pillow. Tojo’s gaze on you is distinguished — gentle yet stern, matching his demeanor. He's calm and calculating and is waiting for your response to his strangely personal question.
“I…I, I don’t know.” It was another lie.
“Why’re you lyin’?”
“I’m not…!” Toji clicked his teeth with a face.
“Fine, answer me this then. Have ya ever thought of doin’ it since ya moved here?”
Yup, this question was far worse than the other. His words echo inside your noggin, bewildered with every syllable relaying. And the widowed man lifts his brow from the lack of an instantaneous answer. You open your mouth, but words fail to aid you, your tail shying away behind your shadow. “I-I…I don’t—“
“Ever thought of me?”
“Toji!” You shout defensively. Sure, it might’ve been out of line to ask. However, it’s the fact that he’s breaking your exterior with every question — because of how on-the-mark he is. You could never prepare yourself for that inquiry, the heat on your face growing more unbearable. How could he know of the frenzy he puts you through just for existing?
“I’m not dumb.” You peep Toji, turning his torso and facing his entire front in your direction. “You think I don’t notice how often you try to push me off when I invite ya over or know when y’re lookin’ at me when you think I’m not aware’?” He dents the bed with his added weight, and you forget to breathe, watching him inch closer. “Or act all shy and cute when I got you to myself?”
You gulp, your brain short-circuiting at the feeling of Toji’s palm on your thigh. There have been countless nights where you’ve thought of your neighbor more than once, indulging in fantasies you could never speak of to a soul, especially Toji himself. To let the man know of the dirty things you’d want him to say to you, the names you wish him to call you, the erotic things you’d like him to do to you — death is the only option necessary not to let that happen. Unfortunately, he seems to have a good idea now that he’s cornered you like this, and you’re too stunned to utter a word.
“It’s okay, though,” he whispers low now that he’s close to your face, and you have to hold back on letting out a yelp when his hand comes to hold your face, his index finger toying with your sensitive earlobe. “‘Cuz I love it when y’re all timid, can’t even look me in the face…Like now.”
You try to avert away from him, but his thumb brings your chin back to him. “Toji, please,” his name feels forbidden to say all of a sudden.
“Tell me ‘no’.” His nose brushes the tip of yours, and you chew your lip. “I’ll stop right now and leave, let you deal with this y’reself…Or,” he ghosts to your ear, and you quiver. “I’ll stay with you and treat you to what y’ve been scared to ask fr’.”
“Toji, wait,” Fuck, you can’t remember the last time you had your ears so keen, his breath brushing it enough to compel you to meltdown.
“Say ‘no,’ princess.” You’re locked under his forest-green orbs, and you swear you could hear your heart hammering your chest. “Or I’ll treat you right tonight.”
Perplexed eyes can’t move anywhere else, and your lips are wet from licking them without knowing. Is this really happening…? An inquisition you had no time to answer for yourself once Toji closes the gap, centimeters nearer with every millisecond.
I…can’t…
His face draws near, and your eyes reflex to close.
I don’t…want to…
Toji pulls you in for a gentle kiss; your thoughts radio silent after the contact of his scarred lips on yours. No shot. Your neighbor was kissing you right now — there’s no way!? This had to be a dream…! This is truly a wild night: not only are you tipsy to the noggin, but your neighborhood crush has found out your secret, and now you’re kissing that exact crush in your room?? Your muscles go tense at what is occurring.
He peppers your lips with kisses, forced to catch up with him as he claims your lips, a palm snaking to the back of your head to keep you steady. He licks your bottom lip, chewing gently to prompt the softest gasps out of your mouth. “C’mon, baby,” he coos to your sensitive ears. “Relax wit’ me.” You nearly melt at the lick of your helix as his free hand courses from your chest to your waist. The brush of his fingers onto your tail makes you jolt.
“Toji, wait,” you mutter under your breath as he nibbles on your pointy ear, your hands gripping the back of his black wife beater. “D-Don’t; I’m so sensi—Nmmm…!” Jesus, the moan you held back! Toji trails his mouth to your chin down to your neck to suck on your skin. And your lower half throbs harder. “Ahhh…hahhh…”
He returns his lips to yours; this time, his tongue runs on your teeth vigorously to seek entry. You submit after a chew to your bottom lip, whimpering as the older man inserts his wet muscle to greet yours. Surreal, isn’t it, to be tongued down by your neighbor? You don’t know whether it’s the alcohol, the twitches between your inner thighs, or the flick of his tongue and the sound of his purrs that have your face getting hotter.
And fuuuuuuck, he’s such a good kisser — scratch that, he’s an AMAZING kisser! You’re practically turning into putty in the palm of his hands as he lips you, tilting his head to a proper position with a soft push to your face as he deepens the kiss. He sucks on your tongue, and you mewl, helplessly quivering when he teases the muscle with nibbles. Your waist has a mind of its own while it sways involuntarily, rocking as you sink into the zealous kiss. He’s not overpowering you in any way; if anything, he’s so overwhelmingly comforting, his hand caressing your cheek tenderly, and soft noises of lips smacking and breaking apart bounce one after the other.
Then, you shrill unexpectedly. “…!! Mmahhh! T-Tojiii, d-don’t—don’t touch…Haahhh…”
“Oh? Well, lookie here.” Your ears perk at Toji’s chuckle. Unbeknownst to you, distracted by the intense kiss, your neighbor sneaks his hand under your skirt and touches your private zone shielded by your pantyhose, fingers pressing up on your vulva area. “All we did is kiss, and ya already got your panties wet?”
Embarrassed? Of course, it’s been so long since you were touched like this and out of practice. Now, your repressed emotions start to crumble out of their straightened form the more Toji’s middle finger rubs on your panties. And let’s not even mention your thighs motioning to ride on the digit, your dignity starting to disintegrate. “Ohhh, Toji…”
“Mmm? What is it, sweetie?” He nuzzles to your neck after licking and sucking on your chin. “Feelin’ good down there?” He curls his middle and forefinger to push. “Got ya all excited?” He receives a confirmed hum. “Tell me how y’re feelin’.”
You gulped thickly, your breathing shaking. “I-I’m feeling—shit…” he laughs lowly at your swearing. “Nnnm! You’re making me feel…so hot.”
“I can tell, you’re twitchin’ like crazy right on my fingertips.” His fingers move into a circular motion, and your mouth goes agape. “Fuck, man…Hey, hold on, I wanna do somethin’.”
Toji removes his fingers from under your skirt before you can tell, the heat between your legs going tepid as he withdraws from your figure to lay his back on the bed. But before that, he unzips and loosens his jeans to his butt. A noticeable tent of his boxer briefs has your lips locked to each other, and your eyes widen when he subtracts the material. Just when you thought this night couldn’t get any more crazier, you are awake to witness the display of Toji’s erection in real-time.
How long has it been since you’ve seen a real-life, living, and breathing dick before your eyes? You honestly can’t recall that; the responsibilities of human life have made you grow numb to your demon necessities that it no longer feels innate. However, the sight of your crush’s solid, girthy, excited cock is marveling. How your mouth waters as you ogle at it is borderline humiliating, eyes glued to the uncut tip.
“Like what ya see?” He asks smugly, kicking his jeans and briefs off and slapping his thigh. “C’mere, mama.” Oh, fuck, the quirk of your insides was unavoidable at his comment, primarily as he guides you closer to him. “Let’s warm up.” You yelp as he effortlessly moves your legs to where you straddle him. He pushes your skirt up to your waist, and you can hear the tear from your pantyhose. His thumb comes to slide your panties to the side, and he whistles. “Damn, lookin’ all pretty and wet fr’ me.”
It’s either the fact that Toj’s dick is inches in front of your face or your bare pussy out in the air in front of him; either one of the two has your mind going in a whirlwind. And it all comes to a standstill the moment you sense something wet and firm glide across your labia, and it takes everything in you not to tremble. “Mmm, oh, fuck,” he groans after licking your cunt, throwing in another lazy one to have you holler. “It’s been so long…Shit.”Toji’s hands curl from your legs to cup your asscheeks, keeping your butt near him to lap his tongue around your chasm. You whine as he licks you down, your teeth clattering at the sensation.
Oh, my God, your head begins to ache. It feels so good, your body finally coming back to the groove of things as you move your butt around. The man under you quickly latches his mouth onto you, a firm grip on your ass to keep you in place for him to service you. Speaking of service, your eyes flick to the erect limb before you, your mouth salivating with the run of your tongue across your teeth. Fuck, it looks so good; you admire internally before inching your face close to the length, your head getting dizzier from the sheer size and musk. Damnit…I wanna taste him so bad…!!
“Go on, dollface,” Toji gives your butt a playful smack. “I know ya need this bad.”
God, he’s so right — you need this; there’s no point in denying anymore. You blow on it before placing a tender kiss, noticing how it pulsates as your hand wrings around the shaft. You lick your lips before pecking at the uncircumcised tip, and Toji’s hold on you goes tighter. He’s sensitive, you note. Adorable. You stick your tongue out to swirl around the cockhead, bathing it with your saliva before you inhale it with a delighted hum, gradually warming up your loosened jaw.
Fuck, the taste of a cock — something that felt nostalgic the moment he graced your tastebuds. Your eyes water a bit, trembles rocking your figure as Toji sucks on your wetness, and every inch you intake fuels the haze that fogs your brain. You stroke and suck him simultaneously, a forgotten method that rekindles now in this moment. You coat him with your spit the more you relax your jaw, slurping him unapologetically as if a different part of yourself takes over.
On the other hand, Toji feels the same way. It’s been way too long for the widowed man since the last time he has been intimate with someone, let alone have a bare ass right in front of him. It’s no secret that he’s had the hots for you once you moved here, but having you on top of him like this is like something out of his wet dreams. The way you murmur cutely as you suck his dick turns him on so bad, a guilty pleasure come true as he drinks your nectar off your damp naked folds. His tongue teases around the entrance of your vagina before pushing it in, fucking your opening with his wet muscle. You cry on his girth, your tail cringing in the air from the stimulation. He spots it and grabs it from the base; how your lower half jolts to the grasp is humorously darling to him. So cute.
The minutes go longer as you two keep pleasing each other, and a soft whimper escapes your lips when you release Toji from your lips, lips plastering long and sweet kisses on his shaft as you massage the tip. Your other hand palms and kneads his ballsack, the jerk of his thighs rewarding to see, so you increase the pace of your hand.
“—Thhh, nmm!” Toji curses from behind, sluggishly licking from clit to your slit while succumbing to your touch and mouth. “Shiiit, just like that, baby, suck me off like t—Mmngh! Christ, I’m gonna..fffuckin’ cum…”
But then, you remove yourself from Toji’s member, the cold air instantly blanketing him. Green eyes blink as you move off of his lying body, observing you bending over with your face to the cold sheets.
“Toji,” you plea to him desperately, hooded eyes shining eagerly. “Please, I need it…Here,” you spread your ass, fully exposing your slit wet from your fluids mixed with his saliva. Jesus, you were heathing as if you were in heat. “Do it here, I need it inside…!”
You had the man shook; the cogs in his mind stopped working briefly. The picture of you presenting yourself like this to him was unexpected, but goddamn, did it turn him on astronomically! Toji stands on his knees and advances to you, removing his tank top and discarding it to the floor. “Yeah? You want it that bad?” You nod impetuously. “Words, sweetie. Need you to tell me what to do.”
“Toji, pleeease…!” You wiggle your ass until he cusps it, kneading your flesh lovingly to the point that your tail curls around his forearm. “Please, put it in, I wanna feel it…!”
“Yeah, is that what my princess wants?” You and Toji bite your lips when he aligns his tip to your inner labia, teasing you with grinding motions. “Does my demon baby want Daddy to mess y’r insides that bad?”
Oh, we’re playing that card, too? Holy shit, you were getting so wet from this! “Yess, Daddy, pleasee! Mess me up with that dick, wanna be filled up right nooww…!”
He can’t hide the proud grin. “Good girl. Here,” Toji begins to push the cockhead to you, and your lips flatten at the wince of pain that accompanies the push. “Stay still, and lemme reward you,” his hips move slowly in your direction, you grip the sheets to prepare yourself, and your nerves are dialed to a plane of exhilaration you can’t regulate. Oh my God, is this happening? He’s gonna fuck me? So many thoughts cloud your mind, too excited and anxious for what’s to come because it’s been so. Damm. Long. How’s it gonna feel? Is your body ready enough? How does Toji feel about this; is he just as nervous as you a—
Your train of thought is brought to an abrupt halt at the sensation of Toji’s tip finally inserting itself into your vagina, too absentminded that your open mouth couldn’t say a word. Oh, fuck it’s in, it’s in! Your eyes widen, your muscles tense, and your voice struggles to cry. The older man continues to add himself leisurely, the length sundering your slit and stretching your opening as you take him inch by inch. Your back arches instinctively, wailing silently as you can feel the foreign limb intruding your tightness, quick quirks of your frame as he rubs your velvety texture. Ohhhh, my God…!!
When he slowly starts to rut into you, recurring waves of rapture hit your nerves every. Single. Time! You’re entire body is rocked to the core with every short yet gentle pound; the feeling of Toji’s veiny cock scrapping your channel has you shivering. And once he’s encouraged to push his entire member until the very hilt, you yelp aloud when the tip kisses your womb. “—Oooh??!”
“—Mmngh!” Your quick spasm surprises Toji. “Ohhh, shit, there it is. Hmm? Is this where ya want me, mama? Want me right…here?” He snaps his hips swiftly, the rushed movement and hit to your cervix knocks you winded. And another, you keep wringing his shaft acutely. “Ahhn, God fucking damn i—Iisshhffuck, fuck, I can’t, gonna…Hnghh!”
Toji’s body shudders above you, bucking into your warmth with a jittery pattern. The prolonged reaction of his orgasm claims him now, succumbing to the silky, tight texture and how well you’re grasping onto his girth. He comes inside you, moaning as he ejaculates earlier than expected. You sense it, humming to the immediate filling. So warm, so full of his cock already that your toes curl.
And Jesus Christ, it felt so. Fucking, Good! You were no longer drunk from the alcohol; now, you were intoxicated by the prowess and pleasure of Toji’s dick.
“Hah, haaaah, fuck,” he throws his head back with a hiss, his abdomen relaxing from the earlier flex. Then, your tail glides up from his abs, feeling up on his skin and roaming on his happy trail. He snickers at your feline-like comportment, “Heh, actin’ all cute now that you got what ya wanted, huh?” You say nothing, bashful to his words, while your tail curls up to his chin. “Don’t go quiet on me now, dollface; I heard you squeaking and moanin’ seconds ago.”
Toji then returns to rut into you despite recovering from his climax, furled to have you shrieking uncontrollably for him. The smacks of his pelvis recoil the flesh of your ass, his come stuffed inside you now glued to his erection as he rocks into you balls-deep. “Mmmm, yeah, that’s right, baby,” he grabs your tail and wraps it around his hand to pull; you scream louder, and your vaginal walls clamp tighter than ever. “Arch more fr’ me, enjoy me—nmm…!—fuckin’ you real good.”
The pull of your tail makes your senses hypersensitive, perturbed by the stress of it being pulled, yet the enjoyment you feel from it is too inexorable to comprehend. Coherent sentences double down to undecipherable babbles, “—Daahh, hoohhfuuc—D-Daddyyy, Daddyyy…!!” Tears well up in your eyes as he inflicts blows to your ass, the pain too quick to prepare for yet the sting enough to make you rigid. “—Too much, ish t’oo muuuch…!”
Another smack to your butt, and you howl once again. “Huh, ya say that, but y’re milkin’ my cock like crazy.” He bends down to remove your hands that try to hide your face and horns with the pillow. “What, ya don’t like this? Hmm? Want me to stop?”
“No, nooo!!” You shook your head immediately; your vision blurred for a few seconds. “I loveee iit, I love this, love Daddy’s diick—Ahaaa!! More…I want moreee!” Fuck, this is bad; any more than this, and you’ll be addicted for sure.
“Good,” he whispers to your ears. Good Lord, you weren’t going to survive. “Because I ain’t done wit’ ya yet, princess.”
Before you can register his sentence fully, Toji straightens and lays on his side behind you, lifting your leg to create a suitable angle. He then plunges into you harder and faster, the different positions helping the sporadic cadence achieve deeper penetration while scraping your upper wall with ease. At this point, your body is too hot and sticky to care about anything else outside this room; your head pounding and too misty, your senses corrupted by the constant pokes to your cervix and the increasing haze that you don’t feel human anymore. Your succubus roots flourish, drool escapes your lips, and wanting nothing but this feeling to remain ceaseless.
“Gahh, ohhhDaddyyy, ahhahh,” eyes roll to your skull at the brush of your sweet spots. “Shhoo good, I fweel shoo gooood…! Harder, hardeeerr!”
“—Khhck, goin’ as hard as I fuckin’ can!!” Toji kisses your cheek after a lick, chewing on it after hearing you mewl submissively. “Jesus, this pussy, out of this fuckin’—Nnngh…world.”
You turn to him and claim his lips, and he reciprocates into your steamy kiss. Vulgar tongues exchange spit and encroach on each other’s mouth, and you helplessly suck on Toji’s after he shoves it, your puffy lips intaking the attractive noises he makes. And you slither a hand down to your clitoris to swipe erratically while your tail goes around Toji’s waist and curves into the crevice of his ass. Suddenly, Toji stiffens at the pointy end of your tail, tickling his anus, and the raven-haired man gasps at the insertion. Too stunned to speak, he can only move his hips rapidly, his white-ringed shaft digging deep into you with the help of stimulating his prostate.
“—Taahhh, y-you, lil’ minx…!” He breaks the kiss and bites your lip to hear you whimper. “Tryin’ ta make me cum again?”
You nod, breathing heavily. “Ohhh, Daddy, I’m so close…! Gonna come!”
“Me too, mama, me too…”
Hot moans and groans fly out of each other’s mouths, bodies stuck to each other as you both chase for release. Everything feels so fast, so hot, happening all at once; all you can think about is the grinding presses you push up on your delicate clit. Fuck, fuck! It’s coming, it’s coming…!”
Then, it arrives. Your cunt, aching for the climax, receives the crescendo you’ve been aching for this entire time. The walls of your vulva contract around Toji’s member, milking and wringing him as you come loose to your grounding. A clear liquid exerts out of your urethra, showering out to stain your panties, torn pantyhose, and bedsheets, your breathing losing its steadiness and falling to a jagged tempo. The same goes for Toji, who falls into his peak along with you; your fluttering folds force him to submit and release his second load into you with a hiss. The older man’s heaving frame keeps bucking into you until every drop fills you to the brim, burrowing his face deep into your neck to rest as the shocks rock you both.
Finally, everything goes quiet. The cozy atmosphere pulls you out of your heightened elevation and lays you down with silent clarity. Both you and Toji, sweaty and sticky all over, are still linked to each other as the high dissipates. Shuddering figures begin to calm down and fall at ease with the tranquility.
Toji kisses your neck, and you croon until he comes to lay his lips on yours for a tender peck, then on your soft cheek and your temple. He then removes his flaccid bulge, white fluids oozing out of your hole. “Damn, that was good,” he mutters breathlessly. “Hmm, how ya feel—“
The onyx-haired man couldn’t finish his question because of the sudden change of positions you abruptly conducted. He now lays on his back with you straddling him; the calm tone switched to an unexpected spiking mood.
You then hand grab his dick and arrange it back to your raised hips. Viridian orbs widen. Wait. The tip meets your labia once more before you descend it down. What the f—hold on— And then, his cock is swallowed back inside your wetness, and Toji grits his teeth.
“Sh-Shit, sweetie,” Toji’s hands come to your waist. “What’s up, aren’t y—“
“Sorry, Toji,” the man surveys with confusion, watching you strip off and throw your shirt somewhere. Your naked chest is now out for him to see, and his breath hitches when you place your hands on his pectorals while a span of bat-like wings springs out from your back. “…That wasn’t enough.”
Wasn’t enough?? He repeats with furrowed brows, noticing the half-lidded, lustful expression and the sharp dents of your canines. Then, it hits him:
“The desire of a succubus can be dangerous, you know? And since it’s been a while since I’ve let my powers out, I’m sure it’s nastier than ever…”
…Oh, shit. “Wait, we can talk about—“ You get your answer once you bounce on his cock without notice, Toji nearly choking on his tongue. Nope, no room for prattling.
“You let out so much, made my mind go so crazy,” you grind your hips on his pelvis, squeezing his limp cock while it gets firmer and firmer. “Feel so good…More, I want moreee…”
“C-C’mon now, baby, can’t we take a break for a minute at least—“You bring your face an inch away from his.
“Daddy,” your neighbor shudders at the gentle kiss you place under his chin. “Please take care of me like you promised, ‘kay?”
Your gaze lured him in, a trap he was foolish enough to fall for. Because now, he’s stuck under your bow as you begin to inflict an inescapable rhythm, rebounding on his erection until the base meets your folds. Choked groans suppressed by Toji, but take his lips with yours, enforcing a loving yet salacious spell with your satisfied moans. Now, your crush realizes you weren’t the meek, adorable neighbor he dotes on.
Tonight, he was yours to play like a fiddle…And shame on him for getting way more turned on than he should be!
Wow. Guess I’m dyin’ tonight.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
I should be fuckin’ dead right now.
Toji knew something was up when his eyelids opened, and his emerald eyes scanned the ceiling, instantly recognizing that he wasn’t in his master bedroom. The rays of sunshine are blocked from the curtains, yet the light of day crawls in and basks the room in a low glow. Chirps of birds outside greet him on the basking of a new autumn day, lying comfortably in the cold, silky sheets of the bed.
He wakes to a bit of a headache, mentally and physically groggy. Attempts to move are already tricky and aches all over his body keep him grounded in the mattress. Ugh, feel like I’ve lost all feelin’ in my legs; the man can’t even lift one leg without a grimace. And even his arms are challenging, one so oddly heavy as if it’s nailed down.
“Fuck, man.” His first words of the day are a curse, irritated by the drum of his head. He tries to lift himself; again, it’s not possible, agitating the man even more. And why the fuck is my arm so hea—
He doesn’t finish his sentence — the answer reveals itself once he turns his head to the left.
He sees you, surprised to view you in your natural form still. Horns have grown a little larger, yet still small enough for you to rest your cheek on his shoulder. You were sound asleep, faint snores picked up by his ears as he examined your face at ease with a peaceful slumber. Nude, the both of you, a hand wrapped around his left arm to stick close to you while the other is stationed at his chest, your bat wings shriveled together to not get damaged. And judging by the snake-ish feeling, your tail was curled around his bare thigh.
Strangely innocent to see after the events of last night flash into Toji’s recollection, funny to match such a lewd scenario to such a sweet face. He stifles a laugh, placing his right hand on the vulnerable one on him, his thumb caressing your knuckles as he grasps your fingers. Suddenly, some of the soreness he harbors feels light — glad I ain’t dead, I guess.
Your eyes jit behind your eyelids, a soft groan as you suddenly move and scrunch your face. Finally, your drowsy eyes sheepishly flicker open. Lidded gaze fighting the spell of sleep with every bat of your eyes.
“Mornin’, gorgeous.” Toji greets you.
“…”
“…”
In real-time, Toji watches your somnolent morph into a gradual display of mortification. He’s a little envious to see you spring up with no strain on your body, wings batting out of their relaxed state, and your hand still with his. “T-Toji??” You question directly, eyes surveying the nude neighbor in your bed, doing everything in your power to ignore the fact that you’re naked as well. Speaking of, you notice the subtle pink glow of your womb tattoo, and anxiety spikes to a high. “I–uhh–I’m so so sorry for last night! Sorry you had to bring me back home, and I didn’t mean to act weirdly on you with—Ooof?!”
“Relax,” he cuts you off by pulling you back to his lying frame, his left hand now free to snake on your shoulder. “Don’t talk so fast; my head’s poundin’ like crazy.”
You blink aimlessly, awkward now that you’re fully aware you’re in this man’s embrace. You can’t help recalling what transpired last night, suddenly feeling squeamish. “…You okay?”
“I feel like my life’s been drained by my dick,” he answers bluntly, adding more weight to your embarrassment. “Wakin’ up to a pretty face who nearly killed me with their pussy isn’t somethin’ I’d expect.”
“……sorry.”
“It’s alright,” calloused fingers glide and intertwine with his yours, stroking your thumb with his. “Had a good time either way. Wild, but good.”
“Really…?”
“Really.” You probably shouldn’t have peered up to see him look your direction. Albeit exhausted, his handsome face and sleepy grin ignite the heat on your cheeks. And your stomach flips, hearing a laugh when you meekly avert your gaze away. “How many times did we do it?”
“…Not sure,” long enough for my womb tattoo to be blatant.
“Me either. Does that happen often?”
“Sometimes? I guess it’s because I haven’t done it for a long time, so I went…off the rails because of the intensity.”
“Noted, because I never felt so old until now. I probably pulled somethin’.”
“….Sorry.”
“Y’re good,” Toji scoffs before moving to place a soft kiss on your forehead, and your heart skips the tighter his hand holds your hand. “Tell ya what, I can help you with that cycle of yours, probably…twice a month, so it doesn’t get too crazy like last night. And don’t use y’re powers or some shit to make me forget, either. I don’t wan’ that.”
You lift your face from his shoulder, the heat spreading to your ears. “You don’t have to do that, Toji, I wouldn’t—“
“Nah, I’m down; it’s what neighbors for. Besides, it finally gives me a reason to make ya interact with me more.” Again, his smug smirk causes knots in your stomach. “Like the sound of that, mama? Let Daddy take care of you?”
Your lips quiver, and you hide your face back onto his shoulder. The rumble of his laughter worsens the butterflies in your stomach, and your tail squeezes on his thigh. “Don’t say it like that, Toji!”
“Y’r tail seems to like it.”
“Stop it!”
♱ 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header art by tamayura banko + dividers by @cafekitsune.
#𝑯𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔: 𝑭𝒊𝒄𝒔#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji x you#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji x reader#fushiguro toji x you#toji fanfic#fushiguro toji smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fic#jjk x reader smut#jjk fic
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Do Not Wait - M.S
a/n: this got heavier than i planned initially but i just leaned into wherever the story took me. it's also very reader focused, which i realized way too late. but, do not fret, matt is still in it :) lmk if you'd like me to continue this as a series... i hope yall like it, im proud of it.
summary: while matt is away, reader learns and struggles with some unexpected news that will change both their lives forever.
warnings: mentions of pregnancy, vomit, blood, death, grief, panic attacks, cursing. (no use of y/n)
word count: 11.7k
song: do not wait - wallows
"And it gets worse before it gets better That's one thing that I have come to know Just so you know"
“I hate to leave you like this,” Matt sighs, pushing my hair out of my face as his dark silhouette sits beside me on the bed.
I lay curled up in a ball after spending majority of the night sick. I feel terrible because I kept Matt up when he had to be up early for his flight to Chicago today.
Despite my attempts to avoid disturbing him, he spent most of the night beside me, rubbing my back while I hunched over the toilet and bringing me water.
I toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position as my restlessness and nausea worsen by the second.
Matt’s hand touches my forehead, gently pushing my hair back and mindlessly scratching my head. I sit up as another wave of nausea twists my stomach, and I take a deep breath, hoping to suppress it. Matt sits up behind me, his hand now rubbing my back as I lean over the side of the bed with my head between my knees.
Thankfully, a moment later the wave of sickness passes and I sit up straight with a small groan as my body aches.
“I’m going to sleep on the couch. I don’t want to get you sick, and you have to be up in a few hours,” I croak, but he protests, gently pulling me back into bed.
"I don't give a fuck. I'll sleep on the plane, you're staying right here,"
As the morning light begins to filter through the curtains, Matt’s alarm goes off. By then, we had maybe collectively slept an hour and I knew he must have been exhausted. He got ready quietly trying his best not to disturb me, but I was already awake.
I don’t think sleep is in the cards for me tonight.
He places the back of his hand on my forehead, then my cheek, his touch gentle and searching.
“You still don’t have a fever...I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” He sighs, his fingers sifting through my hair with a tenderness that makes my heart ache.
Even with the faint light of dawn as our only source, I can still make out his concerned expression as he scans my face.
“I've never been this sick before. It must be a bug,” My voice is hoarse from repeatedly throwing up.
“Please, stay here with Nick while I’m gone so you have someone to look after you. I’m gonna text him now so he sees it when he wakes up. God, I don’t even want to go anymore,” He wipes his hand down his face in stress and I shake my head.
“No, stop, don’t worry about me. I’m gonna be fine. I’ll stay here with Nick. Please don’t be late for your flight,” I insist, gripping his hand weakly. “I’m going to make some tea and try to get some rest.” I go to get up but he puts his hand on my shoulder.
“I’ll make you tea, while we wait for the Uber. What do you want, mint?” He asks softly, his hand rubbing up and down my hip.
I nod weakly, thanking him.
I doze off a bit while he goes to make my tea, the repercussion of not sleeping catching up to me. When I open my eyes again, he’s setting my steaming mug on the bedside shelf carefully and placing two advils next to it.
“Text me when you wake up? And let me know if you have to go to urgent care, I’ll send you an Uber.” He tells me softly, his voice trembling with an emotion he’s trying to hide.
His reluctance to leave is evident in every line of his face.
I nod tiredly, “Mm, text me when you and Chris land. Have fun in Chicago. I love you.”
“I love you,” He kisses my forehead, before grabbing his suitcase by his bedroom door and leaving.
I was able to sleep a couple of more hours before I woke up again, dry heaving into the toilet because I quite literally had nothing left in my stomach.
I showered, brushed my teeth and went into the kitchen, searching for something bland to settle my stomach. I had decided to grab a rice cake and made more mint tea before I sprawled out on the couch in one of Matt’s hoodies.
It’s not the first time he’s been away, but this time, I miss him more than I anticipated. Even the scent of his hoodie brings a wave of emotion that catches me off guard.
We’ve never been one of those couples that spends every second of every day together anyway. Not even when we first started dating. We’ve always given each other the space we need.
But I must admit I could go for one of his hugs right now.
It’s around 10 AM when Nick comes down stairs and his face tells me everything I need to know about my appearance.
“I know, I look like shit.” I deadpan and he covers his mouth with wide eyes.
“I got Matt’s texts...I thought that motherfucker was being dramatic. Are you feeling any better?” He asks with a hand on his chest.
“Well, I haven’t thrown up in three hours, so that’s a new record. Your poor brother, I kept him up all night,”
“He'll live, do you want to go to urgent care?”
“No, I’ll wait it out. It’s gotta pass and I was able to keep my breakfast down.” I wave a hand.
Nick goes to make his own breakfast, slicing an apple before coming over to sit on the couch with me.
“Apple?” He offers me, munching on his own bite.
I decline shaking my head with a frown.
Nick wanted to watch Love Island, so I let him change the TV, feeling my eyelids grow heavy. As the sounds of the show filled the room, I found myself dozing off, giving in to the rest my body needs.
When I wake up, I have a blanket over me and Nick is editing on his laptop.
He notices me move and takes his headphones off one ear.
“Hey, you feeling better? Matt keeps pestering me for updates,” He shows me his phone with messages from a worried Matt.
I sigh, “Jesus...I’ll call him. But yes, I feel better now that I've gotten some sleep.” I get up and stretch my body, wincing at my achy muscles.
“How long was I out?” I ask grabbing my phone to see my own set of messages from Matt.
Kid worries too much.
“About 3 hours, you were knocked out. I’m gonna order food, are you hungry for anything?” He asks and my stomach rumbles at the thought of one food.
“I could fuck up some tacos right now,” I raise an eyebrow at him at my suggestion.
“I like the way you’re thinking.” He snaps his fingers pointing at me in agreement.
“Birria tacos for me and a Diet Coke. I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go call your brother before he has a heart attack.” I say walking to Matt’s room and calling him.
He picks up on the first ring.
“Hey,” He breaths out, his voice soft.
“What did I tell you about worrying about me?” I tease him and he laughs, sounding relieved.
"Hi!" I heard Chris shout in the background, before I heard a door close and Matt sigh. I'm guessing he went into a separate room.
“If you saw the state you were in before I left this morning, you’d be worried too. I take it you’re feeling better? Heard you napped,” He speaks up again, talking at a normal volume now.
“I was physically feeling the state I was in. But, yeah, a little better after my nap. How was your flight?” I ask, playing with the trinkets on his shelves.
“Besides me worrying the entire flight about you dehydrating and dying? Fine. A little turbulence, but nothing crazy.”
“Okay, drama, relax. I’m staying hydrated, I’ve napped, Nick and I are about to order some tacos. It must have just been a bug. I must admit, you're very cute when you worry about me though.” I smile and he hums shly.
A beat of silence goes by and I look at the photobooth picture of Matt and I on his wall.
“I miss you,” I admit to him, leaning down to inhale the collar of his sweatshirt on me.
“I miss you too. You know I haven't even been gone 12 hours though,” He reminds me, sounding amused at my unexpected sappyness.
I sigh, “I know,”
Suddenly I have a lump of emotion in my throat and he automatically hears the switch of my tone.
“Hey woah, what happened? Why are you upset?” He sounds panicked.
“Oh my god, sorry. I don’t know. I’m not even sad,” I choke back my tears.
“Doesn’t sound like it.." He doesn't sound convinced. "Do I need to come home?" He says next and I'm immediately objecting.
“What! No. Matt, I promise I’m fine.” I tell him quickly, taking off my hoodie as I begin to overheat.
“I love you... I’ll be back before you know it, okay? S'nothing we haven’t done before.” He reminds me softly and my bottom lip wobbles.
“Mhm,” I manage to get out and he sighs again.
“Sweetheart... You’re telling me not to be worried, but I’m beyond worried. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?” He pleads and I shake my head even though he can't see me.
“I honestly couldn’t tell you...I-i think I just needed to cry, and missing you isn’t helping because I wish I could hug you but you’re so f-far,” I hiccup.
“Okay, deep breaths, how about you take a nice hot shower–maybe a bath. Use Nick’s bath and when you’re done, you can eat your tacos and you’ll feel better. Okay? Listen, Chris and I are about to leave for dinner, are you going to be alright?” He checks in, sounding hesitant to hang up.
“Yes, I’m fine. Seriously. I’m sorry. I must be starting my period soon.” I compose myself, trying to ignore the sudden ache in my heart.
“It’s okay,” he says softly, his voice gentle and sweet.
Any other time, he’d be teasing me for being a crybaby—lovingly, of course—but I think he senses that my emotions are genuinely beyond my control right now.
“I love you,” he says again with emphasis, wanting to hear me say it back.
“I love you, so much," I say weakly, "Have fun at dinner and tell Chris I said hi.” I tell him, wiping my eyes.
“Will do. I’ll call you when we get back.” He says goodbye, hanging up.
I take a deep breath and I shake my head, feeling frustrated with my poorly-timed emotions. I feel terrible for worrying him more, I wanted this trip for him to be fun. Chris had really been looking forward to going with Matt—it had become a sort of tradition for the two of them. I need to get my emotions under control.
I wince again as I feel the heaviness and soreness in my breasts. Sighing, I go to my phone and check my period app to see when this torture will be over.
My stomach drops when I open the app and see I'm 13 days late.
My head feels dizzy suddenly and I pinch my eyes closed as the pit in my stomach spurs on more nausea. I lay back and put my arm over my eyes and take deep breaths.
My mind races, but I can’t seem to focus on one thought.
No, I can’t be.
I’m just stressed, that’s all.
I have an IUD, it's not possible.
But everything's adding up; the nausea, heightened emotions, late period...
I sit up slowly, feeling the weight of the realization settle on me. My heart pounds in my chest and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the flood of emotions threatening to drown me. But there’s no escaping this.
With trembling hands, I go to call Matt back, my thumb hovers over the call button but I stop myself. He’s going to dinner right now, on the opposite side of the country.
I can't burden him with this, not when I don’t even know for sure.
Dropping my phone onto the bed beside me, I try to self soothe, taking deep breaths to steady myself, but the anxiety is relentless.
I walk out of the room and Nick is asking me what kind of salsa I want with my tacos before he looks up at me. He immediately furrows his brows in worry.
“Hey–what's going on, are you okay?” He sits up and places his laptop on the coffee table.
“I-I can't breath,” I gasp, reaching out for him, feeling like a little kid.
He instantly stands up, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.
“What’s happened? Deep breaths, big deep breaths. There you go,” He rubs my back and I breath deeply with him.
My cheek smushed into his chest as I listen to the beating of his heart to help ground me. I pull away, still trembling and shake my head, unsure if I should even be telling Nick this.
This should be Matt.
Nick's eyes search mine, sensing my hesitancy. “You don’t have to talk if you’re not ready,” he says softly, his hands rubbing my shoulders.
I bite my lip, feeling a mix of guilt and desperation.
I don’t want to drag Nick into something so personal, but this is too overwhelming to keep bottled up.
“I… I think I might be pregnant,” I finally whisper, the words barely escaping my lips.
Saying it out loud makes it feel all the more real, and the weight of it presses down on me like a ton of bricks.
Nick’s expression shifts from worry to shock, his mouth falling agape and silence ringing between us. Once he hears me whimper, he snaps out of it and brings me back into a bone crushing hug.
"Shh, okay–it's okay, um…” His voice wavers, and I can feel his heart racing against my cheek.
For a moment, it seems like he’s trying to find the right words, but all that comes out is a nervous laugh.
“This is… wow, this is big. I'm sorry– I don't know what else to say right now,” His voice high pitched and shaky.
I can’t help but let out a shaky laugh with him, even through my anxiety.
“Yeah, big,” I agree, my voice barely above a whisper.
Nick pulls back just enough to look at me, his uncertainty showing in the way his eyes dart around, trying to process everything at once.
“I mean, I’m no expert on this—obviously—but we'll figure this out. You're gonna be okay, everything's gonna be okay.”
His reassurance is genuine, but I can see he's trying to convince himself too; a flicker of doubt in his eyes.
This is uncharted territory for both of us.
Nick and I had decided to order the tests along with the food, killing two birds with one stone. He’s doing his best to stay calm for my sake, but the trembling of his hands as he places the order is hard to miss.
"Okay, tacos and tests are on the way. I got, well, all of them because I don't know which one is best. I even got ice cream. Fuck, when did it get so hot in here? I'm overheating–are you overheating?" He says, his words moving a mile a minute as he fans himself with his shirt.
I can't help but to laugh as his nerves show and he shakes his head.
"I'm sorry, I know you're the one potentially knocked up by my idiot brother but I'm just so nervous. I'm sweating like a monster," His voice cracks.
"Do you mind if I use your bath?" I ask and he nods right away.
“Are you kidding? Of course, go ahead. Someone has to use it. I’m gonna…Well, I’ll just wait out here and try to chill.” He gives me a quick, reassuring smile, though it’s clear he’s still on edge.
I head to his bathroom and try to forget about my racing thoughts.
I turn the faucet on and put in some bath salts, checking the temperature before I step over to the vanity mirror. I take a look at my appearance and notice the puffiness in my face right away. My cheeks are flushed and my eyes are bloodshot.
I blow out a raspberry as I undress and get into the hot water.
The heat soothes my aching muscles and clears my mind. I soaked for a while, even draining a bit of the water and refilling the tub with more hot water. Once I feel myself pruning, I decide it's time I get out.
As I dry myself off, I notice light blood on the towel. My heart races, and I quickly check again—I'm bleeding. Very lightly, but there’s blood.
Relief floods through me, and I almost cry again, this time from the emotional whiplash. My legs feel shaky, so I sit down on the edge of the tub to steady myself, my breath coming out in shaky bursts.
Clutching the towel to my chest, I close my eyes and let out a long, relieved sigh.
“Thank God,” I whisper, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
I try not to dwell on the small part of me that almost wanted to feel disappointed. Maybe even mourning the part of me that might have embraced being pregnant–excited, even.
Instead, I focus on center of my emotions, the part where a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Eventually, I pull myself together, cleaning myself up and getting dressed.
When I step out of the bathroom, Nick is on his bed, clearly trying to keep himself distracted. My eyes go to the food and the tests at the foot of the bed.
As soon as he sees me, he shoots up, his expression immediately shifting to one of concern.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice soft. I nod, a small smile breaking through the lingering anxiety.
“I’m okay,” I say, my voice a little shaky. “I uh…I got my period, I think,”
Nick’s face lights up with relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “Oh, thank God,” he shouts, “This is great fucking news—right?” He checks in and I nod.
“Yeah,” I agree, feeling a little dazed by how quickly everything has turned around. “I think we’re in the clear. We won't be needing those tests, I'll pay you back for them,"
Nick ignores me, pulling me into a bear hug, his arms so tight around me, I can barely breath.
“Shut up I don't care,” he says, “You don't have a parasite in you!" He cheers, jumping us up and down.
We both let out laughs, the tension that had been looming over us now replaced with a lightness.
“Let’s eat,” I suggest, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
Nick nods, "Couldn't agree more,"
We sit on his bed and for the first time all day, I feel like I can actually breathe.
As we dig into the tacos, Nick puts Love Island back on and we rot in bed for a few hours.
But even as we talk and laugh, there's still a pit in my stomach. A small portion of me can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t over yet.
Yeah, there's was blood. But it was different than my normal period. It was lighter.
I try not to panic, but I can't help but feel like my intuition is trying to tell me something. For now, I push my thoughts aside, focusing on Nick beside me yelling at the annoying horny people on his TV.
Nick offered for me to sleep in his room but I declined, wanting to sleep in Matt's bed.
Matt never called me, but he texted me apologizing and checking in on me. I listened to a voice memo he sent me of all they did today and I was genuinely glad he was having fun, so I didn't mind him not calling.
Plus, I'm not entirely sure I'm in the right state of mind to have a conversation with him right now. I wouldn't be able to keep today's events to myself.
I know I can’t keep him in the dark—I need to tell him what’s going on.
I glance at the stack of tests on his dresser and sigh. The bleeding from earlier has stopped, leaving me with a pit in my stomach.
I know I’ll have to take those tests, even if only for clarity. But for now, I’m going to force myself to sleep.
I find myself in a place that feels both familiar and strange. It's warm, the sun showering the garden and I immediately know I'm in my grandmother's backyard.
The breeze picks up, carrying the scent of blooming flowers—lilies, hyacinths, peonies, and marigolds—enveloping me in a peacefulness that feels like a comforting blanket.
I walk along the familiar stone path, my fingers grazing the soft petals of the flowers. Each step feeling like a compelling, magnetic pull, guiding me deeper into the garden.
I see her then–my grandmother, seated on a wooden bench beneath the shade of the large oak tree I used to climb as a child.
My breath hitches, she doesn't look sick. Her smile is lively, her cheeks rosy and the green in her eyes vibrant.
But there’s something else different, a kind of ethereal glow about her that sends a chill down my spine.
“Come here, my girl,” she says, her voice soft and inviting.
I walk over to her, feeling a strange mix of emotions: comfort, longing, and an inexplicable sadness.
I sit down beside her and she takes my hand in hers, her touch warm and reassuring.
“I’ve missed you,” I say, my voice thick with emotion, unable to fathom her not sick in a hospital bed.
She smiles, her eyes full of love. “I haven't gone anywhere."
There’s a pause as I try to process her words, but then she looks at me knowingly, another shiver down my spine.
"You're glowing," She hums, tucking my hair behind my ear.
I look at her confused until she places a hand to my stomach. My breath hitches and I can't control the tear that rolls down my cheek.
I shake my head in disbelief, "How...d-do you know?" I whisper, my voice getting lost in the intoxicating breeze.
It's then that I feel a deep flutter in my stomach, one that I can't describe.
I place my hand over my grandmother's that still rests on my stomach. The flutter intensifies, my heart mimicking the pattern as warmth blooms in my chest. The feeling is overwhelming.
An unexpected, joyous sob escapes my lips before I can stop it, tears blurring my vision.
“You're both going to be okay,” My grandmother says softly, gently wiping away my tears.
My lip wobbles and I let out a shaky breath before she speaks up again.
“She’s strong too, just like you.”
“She..?” I squeak. My grandmother’s smile returns, softer this time and she nods.
A wave of shock and confusion washes over me, but before I can ask more, the garden begins to fade. The colors bleeding into each other until everything is a swirl of light.
Her voice echoes as the dream dissolves, “Don't be afraid, Petal.”
I shoot up, my heart racing, my face soaked in tears and my body covered in a cold sweat. I feel disoriented as I take in my surroundings and my mind tries to grasp the remnants of the dream.
My grandmother’s face, her words, the fluttering in my stomach. But now, that fluttering has turned into a twisting feeling in my gut.
Something was wrong.
My phone buzzes, startling me out of my tangled, fuzzy thoughts. My hands tremble slightly as I reach for my phone.
It’s my mom.
“Hello?” I answer, my voice thick with sleep and confusion.
There’s a pause on the other end, and then my mom’s voice comes through, shaky and heavy with emotion.
“Honey...I'm sorry I'm calling you so early, but it’s Grandma....Sh-she passed in her sleep early this morning.”
The words hit me like a punch in the gut, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. She continues to talk but I can't hear her, my ears ring and time slows down.
A flood of emotions overcome me.
Grief, shock, and the strange sense that the dream was more than just a figment of my imagination.
As the reality of her passing sinks in, I’m left with the weight of her final words to me. She was telling me something important, something I can’t ignore anymore.
My stomach twists again and I bolt to the bathroom where I throw up until I'm dry heaving into the toilet.
-
I'm not even shocked when the test immediately shows up positive. I stare blankly at the two pink lines, the only hint of emotion is the tremor in my hand as I grab the test and chuck it into the trash can.
I feel numb.
Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I see the emptiness in my eyes, the darkness encasing them. The person staring back is a stranger.
I'm pregnant.
I should be feeling joy, maybe even excitement—I want to at least, but all I feel is nothing. My experience overshadowed by my grief. By the anomaly of this situation, how this could have happened.
I have an IUD, I was bleeding, but here we are.
I wanted Matt to be the first to know, to share in that moment with him, but now everything feels wrong, out of order.
I feel robbed of the happiness I should be feeling.
I step into the shower and let the scalding hot water claw at my skin. I finally let myself break down, grief rattling through me and slicing me open.
My dream replays in my mind over and over again. My grandmother's eyes, her warmth, her words, her hand on my stomach.
“You’re both going to be okay,”
My hand instinctively goes to my stomach. I press my palm into my abdomen, expecting to feel that flutter, desperate to feel any sort of connection with the life that's there–to cling to the intense joy from my dream...but there's nothing.
It was ripped away from me from the moment I woke up.
“She’s strong too, just like you,”
I whimper, the sound dissolving into the rush of the water.
I don’t feel strong. I feel weak.
My grandmother told me not to be afraid, but I can’t escape this overwhelming anxiety, the suffocating uncertainty that engulfs me.
The tightness in my chest, the heaviness in my heart, the deep-seated guilt that festers within me.
I cry and cry and cry until I can’t anymore, until the tears run dry, leaving only the ache in my chest.
When the water turns cold and the sun fully rises, is when I finally get out. My feet drag beneath me as I walk back into Matt's room and get dressed.
I pull on one of Matt's crewnecks and some sweats before I go into the kitchen to make a tea.
I make myself an Earl Grey, my grandmother's favorite.
I sit down at the dining table and book the first flight back home to Maine, which is tomorrow morning. My mom and I spoke again and she told me the funeral isn't until next week, but I wanted to be there for her. I couldn’t stay here right now.
My stomach growls loudly and I press my palms into my eye sockets. I suppose I should really eat something with substance, especially now.
I grab the berries from the fridge that are in their last leg, washing them before forcing myself to eat. The tartness of the blueberries sparks a memory of helping my grandmother make blueberry pancakes on Sunday mornings. I smile sadly at the fond memory of being her little sous chef.
When 7 AM rolls around, restlessness overtakes me and I step outside, sitting in the front stoop before calling Matt.
"You're up early," His voice thick with sleep as he greets me through the line.
"Hey," I say weakly, letting out a sigh as I gaze up at the clear sky. There's not a single cloud in sight.
"What's wrong?" His tone immediately shifts to concern.
"Matt... my grandma passed this morning," I start, my voice trembling slightly.
I omit the dream and the positive pregnancy test in his bathroom, grateful that he can't see my face.
There's a heavy sigh on the other end. "I'm so sorry. I know she was sick for a while... Are you doing okay? How's your mom?"
"I'm... managing. And my mom, she's actually doing okay. I think we're all relieved in a way, you know? It was only a matter of time. I'm just glad she's not suffering anymore," I navigate my feelings about her passing, my voice surprisingly steady.
"Of course," His voice is so soft, fueling my longing for his touch.
"Do you think…there's any way you can change your flight on Tuesday to go to Maine? The funeral isn’t until next Thursday, but I’m getting there tomorrow afternoon." I ask, playing with a loose string on my sweatpants.
"Of course, I'll look at flights right now," he responds without hesitation.
"Thank you, I just....I need you there," I tell him, feeling a tightness in my chest when I avoid mentioning the conversation we need to have.
"I'll be there. I found a flight that will get me there tomorrow night."
"Matt–" I start to protest.
"I already changed it. No refunds," He cuts me off, his voice firm. "Sweetheart, you need me, I'm not going to make you wait until fucking Tuesday."
"What about the rest of your trip? You'll miss the rest of the festival, and Chris–" I try and reason with him.
"Listen to me carefully...I don't give a fuck about the festival. You need me there, and I'm going to be there. Chris will be fine, he's a big boy. He has Sam here with him and they'll fly back to LA together," His tone leaving no room for argument, his mind was made up.
A small, grateful smile tugs at my lips as tears well up in my eyes.
"I love you," I manage to say, my voice trembles with emotion.
"I love you, so much it hurts. I wish I could hug you right now but I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I’m gonna go talk to Chris, text me or call me if you need me. I mean it, kid."
“I will,” I promise, ending the call and looking up at the sky again, wrapping my arms around myself as the cool morning air brushes against my skin.
I take a deep breath, the air filling my lungs grounding me. As I exhale, I try to focus on the one thing I know for sure—I may not feel strong, but I need to be and not just for myself, but for the life growing inside of me.
My grandmother's words echo in my mind.
"Don't be afraid, Petal."
–
Nick wakes up shortly after, only taking one look at me before I’m breaking down again—the weight of everything crashing down on me like another tidal wave.
I tell him everything, my dream, my grandmother's passing, I show him the positive pregnancy test.
I cry into his chest, feeling overwhelmed.
"I'm just s-so confused," I manage to say between sobs. "In my dream, I was so happy... everything felt right. I felt connected with..." My words trail off, dissolving into incoherent blubbering.
Nick just listens, rubbing my back in slow, soothing circles.
"Listen," he begins softly, "your body is under a lot of stress right now. You just found out about your grandma, and then this very unexpected news on top of it… Every single emotion you’re feeling is normal, and 100 percent valid. But you have so many people by your side who love you and will help you through this, no matter what you decide..."
I sniffle, trying to regulate my breathing as I take in his words.
"I'm angry, too," I admit, my voice cracking with the strain of holding it all in. "This is so unfair. The timing of this couldn't be worse... I can't even talk to Matt and I feel awful keeping this from him. He shouldn't have to find out like this."
"Everything is going to be okay, deep breaths," Nick repeats, his voice calm as he helps me process the flood of emotions.
I blow out a raspberry, pulling back and running my hands down my face in frustration. When I look at him, he's watching me cautiously, trying to read my expression.
"I'm pregnant," I say softly, the words finally leaving my lips for the first time.
A mix of emotions swirls in my chest and stomach—fear, uncertainty, a strange kind of acceptance.
Nick nods slowly, his eyes still scanning my face, and for a moment, I find myself imagining if this was me telling Matt.
More dread fills me.
How will he react? Will he be the support I need?
We’ve talked about having kids before. They were always in the cards for us, but never this soon.
We only just started to discuss getting our own place and now our lives are going to be changing forever.
Nick helped me pack as I tried to arrange a last-minute appointment to confirm my pregnancy, which proved to be quite the ordeal.
The receptionists initially inform me that they didn't have any openings for weeks. However, when I mention the IUD and a positive pregnancy test, the urgency in their voice shifted dramatically.
They told me to come in right away.
The urgency in the receptionists voice on the phone didn’t help my nerves. Neither when they took me straight into an examination room the minute I told them my name.
They take my vitals, draw my blood and give me a cup to pee in.
I left Nick in the waiting room, dressing down into the gown they placed neatly on the exam chair. I look around at the diagrams of the fetuses and the posters of the development. I’ve seen these countless times and never thought twice, but this time I feel unsettled.
I swallow thickly and sit on the loud crinkly paper with the anticipation of the doctor coming in soon.
There’s a soft double knock on the door before a head of wild, curly hair peeks in.
“Hello, hello. I’m Dr. Sullivan,” She says washing her hands and sitting down on the swivel stool next to the examination chair.
The woman has a mane of big, unruly curls that frame her face, with chunky black square-framed glasses perched on her slightly humped nose, drawing attention to her bright hazel eyes. A wide smile, complete with a distinctive gap between her two front teeth, radiates warmth and adds to her quirky charm. She almost seems like a character out of a cartoon—lanky, with an energetic, bouncy stride that matches her bubbly personality. She can't be much older than my mother.
"So, you are in fact pregnant. The lab results confirmed the presence of HCG, which is the hormone produced during pregnancy. "
“Do you have any idea how this happened? I mean, obviously I know how it happened but, I have an IUD.” I say, still trying to wrap my head around the situation.
She nods dramatically, her lips pressing into a line as she listens to my concerns.
“Unfortunately, no birth control is 100 percent effective. In most cases, the IUD might have been displaced, or in some instances, the body rejects the device without you knowing. I actually would like to get clarity on that with an ultrasound, but I think it’s important for you to know the risks of this scenario here.” She says, turning slightly more serious.
“Risks?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes,” she says softly, “There is a possibility that, due to you having an IUD, this pregnancy may not be viable. Having an IUD increases the risk of what we call an ectopic pregnancy... are you familiar with that term?” Her hazel eyes lock onto mine and I shake my head, my heart starting to pound.
“Well, because you have a contraceptive device in the space where a fetus would normally develop, there's a risk that the pregnancy could occur outside the uterus. Typically the egg will implant itself in the fallopian tubes, which cannot host a safe or viable pregnancy...And if not treated immediately, the tube can rupture and cause internal hemorrhaging," She explains gently, carefully choosing her words to convey the seriousness of the situation.
I feel my heartbeat in my ears now as I process her words.
"So you're saying, this can be life threatening...for me and the..." My throat closes up and I can't finish my sentence.
She must take notice of the panic in my face, her round eyes widening slightly.
"If it goes untreated, yes. But I don't say this to make you panic, you're in good hands and whatever happens, we will take the next steps together." She places a hand on my knee, giving the tissue box so I can dry my uncontrollable tears.
"Based on your last period, you should be about seven weeks along. This ultrasound will confirm that and also ensure the pregnancy is positioned in the uterus. Before we proceed, I'd like to ask you a few questions... do you need a minute?" she asks gently, noticing my unease.
I hiccup and shake my head. "N-no, I'll be okay. Sorry," I mumble, wiping my nose.
"Don't apologize," she says kindly, giving me a moment to collect myself anyway, which I appreciate.
For a moment, I consider calling Nick in, but I decide against it. Even though we're close, this may be a little too personal, even for him and I.
"Have you been experiencing any cramping or discomfort in your back or abdomen?" She asks and typing my answer into the computer as I tell her no.
"Any spotting or bleeding?"
"I had some light bleeding last night, it only lasted maybe an hour... I had thought it was my period, but I knew something was off." I explain to her and she nods.
"That was most likely implantation bleeding, which is normal. It can be light spotting of blood, or some women experience heavy bleeding, similar to a period." She continues to take her notes before looking to me again, "Any tenderness in your breasts?"
"Oh, for sure. My breasts have been very sore the past few days,"
"Any nausea or vomiting?"
"Yes, the last couple of days–especially at night, I've been vomiting. I haven't really been sleeping well because of it."
"Yeah, the term 'morning sickness' is misleading... It can happen any time of day, you seem to be experiencing yours during the evening. Any other symptoms you've noticed that you'd like to note?" She asks and I try to think of some things.
"Uhh, I guess I've been more tired than usual, but I chalked that up to being up all night sick...I've also been getting hot flashes recently and I've definitely been more emotional,"
"These are all good to note, thank you very much," She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose before typing again.
She swivels herself back towards me, smiling warmly.
"We'll go ahead with the ultrasound now. But to get an accurate picture, we're going to do a transvaginal ultrasound, if that's okay with you."
"Okay, that's fine," I say, shakily.
She pulls the ultrasound cart to toward her before standing to move the stirrups into place so I can place my feet into them. She places a privacy cloth over me and I take a deep breath.
She puts a covering on the sheath of the ultrasound wand and places lubricant on the top of it. She taps a few buttons on the computer, calibrating the machine before turning towards me with a reassuring smile.
"So this will feel cold and you might feel a little pressure but if you feel any discomfort don't be afraid to tell me." She informs before placing the device inside to create the image.
I try not to wince and try to relax as much as possible. I go to look toward the screen but she has it faced towards her, so I opt to reading her facial expressions.
Dr. Sullivan adjusts her glasses by putting them on the tip of her nose and tilting her head back to get a better view.
She's quite animated with her expressions, her mouth opening slightly in concentration as she looks over the screen.
Although I can't see what she's looking at, she seems pleased, which is a relief.
"Okay, so good sign so far, I see your IUD," Dr. Sullivan says, leaning forward and pointing to the screen. "I can clearly see that it's sitting at the top of your cervix. It’s shifted down and away from your uterus. Do you happen to experience heavy cramping during your cycle?" she asks, her fingers tapping some buttons on the monitor.
"Yes, I do," I reply, the worry still gnawing at me.
She nods thoughtfully. "That could explain the displacement. Sometimes, intense cramping can cause the IUD to shift from its original position. It’s not common, but it does happen. It’s good that we’ve caught it now."
"I see the embryonic sac in, from what I can tell, a great spot. You're measuring at about 6 or 7 weeks along. Size of a blueberry." She says and I stop breathing.
I don't even hesitate to say yes as she asks if I would like to see.
My eyes are glued to the screen as I follow where her finger points, focusing on the grainy image. There it is—a tiny black oval with an even tinier dot in the middle. It's so small, I almost think I'm looking at the wrong thing.
“That’s... them?” I whisper, my voice barely audible as I try to comprehend the sight in front of me.
Dr. Sullivan nods, her expression tender. "That's your baby. It's early, but everything looks promising..."
"Really?" I squeak, still in disbelief, my throat tightening with sudden emotion as more tears fall down my face.
Relief— as she nods in confirmation, handing me the tissue box again.
Hope— as she zooms in, showing me the flickering of the heartbeat.
Joy—as I hear the heartbeat, feeling it sync with the thumping of my own.
For the first time since my dream, I feel joy, something beyond the crippling dread that had loomed over me all day. My heart swells and then bursts as I continue to stare at the flickering dot on the screen, blinking away the tears that blur my vision.
I breathe in shakily before a laugh escapes through a sob.
"Nice strong heartbeat, everything looks as it should... this looks like a healthy pregnancy," Dr. Sullivan announces, gently removing the ultrasound wand but keeping a looped video on the screen, allowing me a few more moments to take it all in.
"She's strong too, just like you,"
"So, the next step—for your safety—would be to remove the IUD today," she continues, her tone calm yet serious. "We can also discuss your options moving forward, including your decision on whether or not you would like to continue with the pregnancy. It's important to weigh all the possibilities and make the choice that's right for you."
"I-I'm gonna continue the pregnancy. It was in no way planned, but–"
"You don't need to explain...I had a feeling" She dismisses me gently, giving me a knowing smile, "I guess this calls for a congratulations,"
"Thank you," I say just above my breath, warmth still blooming through my chest.
After Dr. Sullivan removes my IUD, she tells me to dress while she steps out to calculate my due date.
I stare at the printed ultrasound picture, my heart swelling with a fierce protectiveness. I’m not worried about the complications or uncertainties ahead right now. All that matters is this life inside me.
I feel much stronger than I did merely hours ago.
My due date was February 7th, the same as my grandmother’s birthday.
–
I had landed in Maine a few hours ago, my mom and I were organizing all of my grandma's belongings. We spent the afternoon together, grabbing lunch before heading over to my grandmother's house.
The house always felt like a time capsule, preserving every memory. The duck wallpaper in the dining room, the scent of pine and clove, the worn couch cushions, her miniature schnauzer figurine collection, and the framed pressed flowers from her children’s weddings—everything was always in its rightful place. It always looked the same.
Memories of me and my siblings spending weekends here whirling behind my eyelids as I inhale the familiar scent.
It evokes a bittersweet feeling.
We keep the mood light, sharing stories with each memory we packed away. I still saw the flicker of sadness in my mom's eyes, even through her laughter as we reminisced.
Sitting on the carpet in the living room, we go through the boxes full of pictures to put together a collage for the funeral. I come across a picture of my mother pregnant with my older brother.
It's a candid photo in the kitchen of my grandmother's house, her hand resting on her swollen belly that pokes out the bottom of her blue shirt, a soft smile on her face. My grandmother is beside her, beaming with pride, tying an apron around her waist.
My mother looked so young, her freckles prominent on her flushed cheeks and her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes.
I was always told I looked more like my dad, but seeing her like this, so close to my own age now, I can't help but notice the resemblance.
My mom notices my pause and looks over my shoulder. "That was just a few weeks before your brother was born," she says softly, her voice laced with nostalgia. "Your grandmother knew we were having a boy from the moment we told her,"
Her words send a chill down my spine.
I linger on the photo, feeling a wave of emotion rise up at the mention of my grandmother as the weight of my own news presses heavier on my chest.
"Were you really sick, when you were pregnant?" I ask, lowly.
She hums in thought, "With your brother? Only for maybe the first few weeks. With you though? Forget about it, I was sick everyday for months."
I stay silent for a moment, studying another photo of my mom and dad in the hospital room with my brother the day he was born. My mom is in the hospital bed, looking tired but radiant, while my dad is crouched next to her, gently cradling my brother in his arms.
"He was so bald," I laugh softly, and my mom chuckles beside me.
"His hair was so blonde, it was practically see-through. Your father called him 'egghead' for the first two months of his life," she says, shaking her head and rolling her eyes with a smile.
I look at the photo again, my gaze lingering on my mom's face. Her expression is filled with such warmth and love as she looks at my dad.
"How did you tell dad? You guys were both pretty young," I ask and she stifles a laugh.
"We actually found out together in a gas station bathroom..." She starts off with a slightly shameful smile, "I had been so sick on our camping trip with your aunt and uncle, so I decided on our way back home to take a test. We were shocked to say the least, but we were happy," She shrugs casually.
I think about how I was alone when I found out I was pregnant. Matt wasn't there, and it wasn't his fault, but the last 36 hours of keeping this from him has been torture.
The moment I saw the second line show up with fresh cold sweat still rolling down my neck, I had to bottle up this relentless guilt.
I feel guilt. It wasn't anyone's fault. This is the most serendipitous situation I've ever been in, but I put the blame on me. I have a choice and I'm choosing the route that will completely flip our already hectic lives upside down.
Tethering us together for life.
Even if this decision it feels right, it still carries an enormous weight. It’s not just my life that’s about to change—it's Matt’s too.
I have no doubt Matt will be supportive, but when you're left alone with your thoughts long enough, you can convince yourself of anything.
I've spent every waking minute wondering how he'll react, imagining every possible scenario, from the worst to the best. It's been an endless loop of 'what ifs,' and it’s taken everything in me not to just blurt it out over the phone.
"Were you scared at all? I mean, weren't you like 20?" I press, searching for reassurance in her response.
Her eyes widen before nodding, "Oh, we were scared shitless. Your father almost passed out. We had no idea what we were doing, but hey, we survived. For better or for worse,"
I nod, looking down at my lap and fidgeting with my fingers. My chest feels tight, and the weight of everything becomes almost unbearable.
"Mom, there's something I need to tell you... I–"
"I know," She looks at me with a small smile, her green eyes glistening with tears.
My brows furrow together, giving her a confused look.
"You do?" I ask, my voice trembling.
She shrugs, "I know everything, I'm your mom... Plus, you gagged at the smell of chicken today, that was a dead giveaway." She bites back a smirk and I cover my face, laughing through some tears before looking at her again.
"I guess I’m not as good at hiding things as I thought."
"You never were," She says softly as she scoots closer to me, bringing me into her warm embrace.
I sigh deeply into her, squeezing her tight and breathing in her comforting scent.
"How are you feeling?" she asks, still holding onto me.
"Scared shitless..." I joke and we share a laugh before she pulls back to wipe the tears that escaped against my will, "But I'm happy," I admit, scanning my mother's face for any sign of judgement.
There was none.
She wipes her own few tears, looking at me with only love in her eyes.
"My baby's having a baby,"
"I think grandma sent me this baby," I whisper, allowing my emotions to come through.
My mom tucks my hair behind my ear with her gentle, comforting touch and she listens intently as I tell her my dream. We hold onto each other and cry. I then show her the ultrasound pictures and we talk until the sun disappears.
My phone buzzes softly and I check the message to find Matt’s text that he’s landed and on his way. The reality of his imminent arrival causes a mixed-wave of nausea and guilt to wash over me.
My mom looks at me with a reassuring smile.
"I'll leave you two be so you can talk. I'll see you in the morning, my love." She tells me softly, kissing my cheek and hugging me tight.
Matt and I were gonna stay here during our time in Maine. It's best right now that we have our own space, especially since my brother and his girlfriend are staying by my parents house.
As she heads out, I take a deep breath and text Matt to let him know the door is unlocked. I slip into the shower, trying to calm my racing thoughts and steady my nerves. The warm water helps, but my mind keeps racing as I mentally prepare for the conversation ahead.
Wrapped in a towel, I check my reflection in the mirror, trying to see if I look any more put together than before.
I think this is the best we're going to get.
I jump when I here the front door open and shut, then some feet shuffling. My heart skips a beat.
Matt's here.
"It's just me," I hear him call out as well as more shuffling and a paper bag crinkling.
"Hey! I-I'll be right out!" I call back out, my heart picking up again but I take a deep breath.
I quickly get dressed in a tank top and shorts; there's a heat wave here, and I can't figure out how to adjust the thermostat.
I step out of the bathroom to see Matt standing at the kitchen island, unpacking burgers and fries onto the counter. The aroma of it makes my stomach growl and I realize I hadn't eaten anything since lunch.
I admire him for a second; he's wearing pink sweatpants, a black hoodie and a backwards fitted hat.
He turns at the sound of my presence and his face softens. I'm trembling when he steps forward to embrace me into a tight hug. He buries his face into my neck before giving me a few kisses there.
"Hi," I breath out, my voice shaky.
I was so nervous.
"Hey, you okay?" His voice is so soft, my heart aches. He pulls away, rubbing his hands up and down my arms while scanning my face.
"You're shaking. What's going on?" He presses.
He knows something is up, he can see it all over my face. I shake my head, brushing it off to have one more minute with him.
I pull him back to me, wrapping my arms around his neck this time and locking him against me. He bends down a bit to accommodate but doesn't question it, just hugging me back. His arms wrapping around my waist and pressing our stomachs together.
My heart is slamming against my ribcage and I know he can feel it, his thumb rubbing my hip soothingly tells me he does.
"How are you doing?" His voice is muffled with his face buried into my neck.
"I'm okay, better now that you're here. I missed you," I mumble, kissing the side of his neck and running my hand down between his shoulder blades.
I breathe him in, noting the warmth of him and the solidness of his body against me.
"I missed you... I brought us food. I don't know about you, but I'm fucking starving," He puts his hands on my hips to pull back from the hug, but I stay put.
He chuckles, giving me one more squeeze.
I pull back just enough to line our faces up and give him a kiss, which he eagerly returns.
"Thank you for being here, it means a lot," I say against his lips and he pulls back slightly to push my hair out of my face.
"I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else." He hums into another kiss, then places three quick pecks before giving my butt a light tap, signaling that it’s time to let him go.
I finally release him and head to the food on the counter.
"I passed a Five Guys on the way here, so I hope that's good for you," He grabs a handful of fries before munching on them.
As I reach the counter, the smell of the burgers makes my mouth water, and I can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness.
“Five Guys is perfect, thank you,” I say, grabbing a fry from the bag and tasting its salty warmth.
Matt grins, clearly pleased with himself. “Good, because I was too hungry to think of anything else,” he jokes, unwrapping one of the burgers and handing it to me.
I take it, thanking him quietly, my fingers brushing against his. For a moment, I just look at him.
He’s here, and I should be telling him I’m pregnant with his child, but instead, we’re standing in the kitchen eating burgers. As if I’m trying to cling to this last bit of normalcy before everything changes.
I force myself to take a bite of my burger, moaning at the greasy, savory goodness. Matt smirks at me, taking a hearty bite of his own burger.
“S’good?” he asks through his bite, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
I nod, moaning again in response, savoring the taste as it temporarily distracts me from everything else.
Matt takes a sip of his drink before bringing a napkin to my face and wiping the corner of my mouth and chin.
"Wipe ya lip, kid," He teases and I roll my eyes, grabbing the napkin from him.
Matt inhales another large bite of his burger, and we slip into our familiar rhythm.
He tells me about his brief trip to Chicago, and I’m relieved to hear he managed to gather a few funny stories and catch at least one day of the festival. He’s notably enthusiastic while he talks, and I can’t help but smile at his excitement.
He also reassured me that Chris wasn't upset at all, which I already knew from the sweet text he sent me this morning.
“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” I say, trying to match his enthusiasm.
I then give him the rundown for the next few days while we prepare for the funeral and memorial.
We continue eating, the conversation shifting to lighter topics as we enjoy the burgers and each other’s company.
It feels so easy, so light. It always is with us. But underneath the surface, the words I need to say weigh heavy on my mind, threatening to break the easy rhythm.
Matt watches me closely, his own burger forgotten for the moment as he sees me disappear inside my head again.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks again, his eyes look between mine. “You seem… I don’t know, you're acting weird.” He tries to find the right words.
"Matt..." I go to dismiss him, getting up slowly but he cuts me off, standing up too.
"No, I'm serious. You've been acting weird for days, and I'm no longer 2000 miles away for you to push me away or avoid me." He steps closer to me, trapping me against the counter with his arms on either side of me.
"Is it about your grandma? Did something else happen while I was gone?" He throws out, looking between my eyes.
"I–" I try to speak up but my voice gets caught in my throat and I get lost in the icy storm of his relentless gaze.
"It's not just my grandma," I manage to say, the admission causing him to soften slightly, a glimmer of relief at the small breakthrough.
"Okay, so talk to me, sweetheart. Please, I've been worried sick about you. You have no idea," he pleads, his breath brushing against my skin.
"I didn't know how to tell you..." I try to put together my words but I feel like I'm making it all worse.
I watch as his eyebrows pinch together and he leans down more so he's eye level with me instead towering over me.
"Tell me what, kid. I'm not a mind reader," His voice strains, frustration evident in his face.
When I try to break eye contact with him he pulls my chin to align our eyes again.
"What, d'you crash my car?" he guesses, clearly joking, his eyebrows raising playfully.
I can't help but smile and snort at his attempt to ease the tension.
"No, it’s not that," I say, my voice cracking slightly. "It's much bigger than that," I trail off and he waits expectantly.
"I uh– I went to the doctor yesterday," I pause and study his face, which drops ever so slightly, seeming to be bracing himself.
He stays silent, whether it was out of patience or fear, nothing could have prepared for my next sentence.
"I went to confirm that I was pregnant," I finally blurt out, my voice shaky, and he freezes.
Not one muscle moves in his face or his body.
"You're..." His voice cracks and he clears his dry throat, hitting his chest, "Are you serious?"
"I'm seven weeks, or a month and a half," I stammer, my voice wavering. "I don't really know how to—"
"Seven..." He whispers in disbelief, the shock settling in and I nod. "Y-you were on birth control– you have that AED–"
"IUD, yes, I did. It still happened, that shit is useless if it moves out of place," I explain and he looks down between us.
"A-and everything's okay, you're okay?" He looks up at me again, holding onto my face.
I take hold of his wrists, rubbing my thumb over his skin.
"I'm fine, the baby's fine..." I say softly and his eyes widen in realization as he pales.
"Oh my fucking god," He pulls back, cupping his hands over his mouth. "I need to sit down."
"Okay, okay. Do you want water?" I panic, hoping he doesn't pass out or puke.
He takes a seat at the dining table, shaking his head before taking off his hat and leaning his elbows on his knees.
"Oh my god, I thought I was crazy..." He says, his voice cracking with nerves as he presses his palms into his eye sockets.
"What?" I ask, confused.
"I had a feeling all fucking week," he says, his voice still shaky, and my brows knit together.
"I knew something was up. You were acting different. You were moodier than usual, you were napping all the time—and you never nap... and your tits are huge," he adds, and I roll my eyes.
"Sorry, that’s beside the point," he continues quickly, "I just couldn’t shake the feeling that you could be... I think I was trying to convince myself you weren't, but then you were so sick before I left," he rambles, staring blankly at the wall.
"It's a lot to take in, I know." I swallow thickly as I watch him process everything.
"You're pregnant," he says finally, looking at me again, this time with tears brimming his eyes. "And you were dealing with all of this by yourself," His voice is low and I shake my head, moving to stand between his legs, cupping his face gently.
"Hey, no. None of that... How could you have known?" I shush him and pull his head towards my chest.
His hands rest behind my thighs, his thumb lightly stroking my right leg. I run my fingers through his hair, comforting him as much as he's comforting me.
"I've been so scared to tell you..." I confess softly and he pulls back slightly, looking up at me with his brows furrowed.
"I know this wasn't part of our plan...at least not for a while. But before I took a test, the night my grandma passed, I had a dream. I was here, in my grandmother's garden... and she told me I was pregnant. Matt, the feeling I had," I pause, struggling to find the right words.
"It was the most intense, pure form of happiness I've ever felt. I can't even describe it to you..." I trail off.
I shake my head, "I know, I sound crazy. But I think this was meant to happen." I whisper, heat creeping up my neck at the admission.
He’s silent for a moment, absorbing my words. Then, a slow smirk carves a crease into the side of his mouth. "You are fucking crazy…" he murmurs, his playful tone breaking the tension as his smile lines deepen.
I huff a breathy laugh, the sound catching in my throat as my emotions take over again. Tears blur my vision, and I can’t hold them back any longer.
"Are you mad?" I squeak, letting my fear slip through the dam I built up.
He's immediately shaking his head, his eyes widen with sincerity, "Mad? Of course not. I mean, I thought we'd maybe get a cat first but..." He says, quirking his lip and I can't help the laugh that escapes through a sob.
I was the definition of an emotional wreck.
He gently squeezes my hips as I tip my head back to collect myself.
"Look at me," he says firmly, and I sniffle and hiccup before forcing myself to look at him. "Am I surprised? Yes. Terrified? Definitely. But, not even close to mad."
He wipes my tears tenderly, "We're going to be okay. Take it easy, alright? Deep breaths," His tone gentle but assertive, dragging me out of the pit of my dark thoughts.
I sigh as his thumbs draw circles on the exposed skin on my hips.
"I'm sorry," I say and he pulls me to sit sideways on his lap this time.
"Why are you sorry?" he asks softly, intertwining our fingers and bringing my hand to his mouth for a kiss.
"Our lives are going to change and I feel like it's my fault,"
"C'mere," He pulls me in fully, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I love you, and we're going to get through this... We were gonna do it anyway; we're just getting a headstart, yeah? Everything is going to work out," He tells me softly and I can tell he means every word.
Matt never says anything he doesn't mean.
"Also, don't say stupid shit like this is your fault. Last time I checked, it takes two to tango," He says firmly, lightly slapping my hip.
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat as I lean into him completely, resting my head on his shoulder. His hand rubs gentle circles on my back, and I close my eyes, letting myself soak in the comfort of his presence.
"I missed you so much," I whisper, my voice muffled against his shirt. "I've been so sick, this kid might be trying to kill me," I try to joke, and he breathes a laugh into my shoulder.
A few beats of silence pass, broken only by the distant sound of crickets outside and the occasional creak of the old house settling.
"We're having a kid," He speaks up, realization laced in his voice and I hum against him. "Maybe we're both fucking crazy,"
I stifle a laugh and pull back to look at him, "D'wanna see it?" I ask, getting up from his lap and he looks to my stomach with a raised brow.
"Kid, you're not showing yet," he says, leaning back into the chair with his arms crossed, a playful smirk on his face and I roll my eyes.
"No, the ultrasound. Hold on," I say as I head to the counter to grab the pictures from my bag.
I pull out the strip of photos, and when I turn back, I see Matt standing up and stretching. He takes off his sweatshirt and his shirt riding up slightly, exposing a sliver of his stomach. Heat rises to my face but I can't stare too long though because he's walking towards me to look over my shoulder.
"Okay, what am I lookin' at?" He stands behind me, his hands on his hips as his head tilts in concentration.
"You see this black circle here?" I point to the sonogram, and he leans in closer, his breath warm against my neck as he grabs hold of the paper to steady it.
"Yeah, that's it?" He asks, narrowing his eyes and I giggle.
"No, do you see the tinier white blob inside it? That's the baby." I explain and his face scrunches for a second, looking at the picture again.
"No fucking way," he says in disbelief, a wide smile breaking across his face. "That tiny thing?" His voice raises a pitch as he looks at me, eyes wide with awe, "Can barely fucking see that," He says playfully before rubbing his eyes.
"Mhm," I can't help but giggle as he wraps an arm around me, pulling me in and placing a kiss to my temple. "Just wait til you hear it, the heartbeat was insane. It was so fast," I add and he freezes.
The realization in his face settles in even deeper as I tell him that, his soft smile returning.
"You heard the heartbeat?" He whispers, looking between my eyes and I nod.
"Yeah, yesterday. They emailed me the video of it, I'll show you in a bit if you want," I tell him and he kisses me then like he can't help himself.
"That's fucking nuts... do you feel pregnant?" he asks, his voice curious and his eyes slowly lowering to my stomach peaking out of my tank top.
I shake my head, "Not at all. I just feel like shit... and constantly bloated," I admit, laughing softly.
He lightly chuckles himself, a charmed smile on his face as he reaches to rubs my stomach a couple times.
"We're really gonna have to lock in, kid." He moves around me to pull me into a full hug, pressing our stomachs together.
"Okay, gamer...acting like this is a video game," I scoff teasingly and he bends down, laughing into my neck.
"Well, what else do you want me to say? We're leveling up in life–" he continues the joke and I jab his side with my finger.
"Ow," he fake-cries, clutching his side with exaggerated pain before breaking into a fit of giggles.
"Stop saying corny shit, you goof," I warn, though his laughter makes it impossible not to smile.
I bury my face in his chest, my ear pressed against his heart as we settle into a comfortable silence.
"Now we really gotta get our own place," He says and I can hear his smirk.
"I don't know…" I shrug slightly, considering. "Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stick around for a bit. It might be nice to have the extra help before we go completely on our own."
He pulls back slightly to look at me, tilting his head with an inquisitive expression. "You really think my brothers will be any help? They don’t know anything about babies."
I snort. “Probably not, but neither do we." I reason and his mouth shrugs in defeat.
"Good point... I guess we can wait it out, we're not in a rush. It'll definitely give us more time to research where would want to be somewhat permanently," He points out.
I hum into him and try not stress about that. The reality is we'd be putting ourselves in a tough spot—both our families are here on the East Coast, but our jobs and lives are rooted in LA.
It's easy to go back and forth when it was just us, but now we're gonna have a kid.
"I already hear your mind racing," his voice breaks me out of my thoughts as he rubs my back. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out..." he says softly, and I sigh deeply.
My stomach turns when I get a whiff of the food still laid out on the table.
"Matt," I say, pulling back slowly, holding my stomach.
"Mm?" he hums, looking at me with concern as I put my hand over my mouth.
"The smell of those burgers is making me sick now," I try not to laugh, and he shakes his head, immediately tossing all the trash into the large paper bag it came in.
"Alright, where's the incinerator?"
#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#the sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo x reader#dad!matt#sturniolohouse
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Helloooo! I was wondering if you are taking requests for Wind Breaker?
If yes, can I ask for a story or headcanons about Suo meeting and getting curious (and eventually falling for) a f.reader who is like a princess for Shishitoren?
In my head it would be funny to see Suo challenging and interacting with Choji and Togame (who are already threatening Suo to stay away from the reader). I mean, he can be kind of mean when he wants, and still wear a smile.😆
Thanks for hearing me out!
And let me say, I realllyyyy love the way you write!🩷
Shishitoren's Princess (& Her Guard Dog) | Hayato Suo x Reader
Word Count: 7471
୨ৎ Read me before interacting!
୨ৎ Pairing: Hayato Suo x Reader feat. Shishitoren (literally most of them), Jo Togame, Choji Tomiyama, Mitsuki Kiryu, Haruka Sakura, Akihiko Nire
୨ৎ Warnings: mdni, f!reader, manga spoilers, ooc (definitely ooc sorry ah), angst, harassment, swearing, kissing, miscommunication – if I’ve missed one, I apologize + please let me know!
୨ৎ Note: oh my goodness – I'm actually so sorry for how this took me (and how long this is ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა). I loved loved loved this idea so much, and thank you for the sweetest words! I really hope this is somewhere in the ballpark of what you were requesting! Thank you again for the amazing idea! I love you!
You hadn’t meant to cross over to their territory – truly. It’s just that Togame had mentioned that his favorite Ramune flavor had been out since last night, and Tomiyama had been going on and on about this new snack that just wasn’t available at the usual corner store that you guys frequented, so you found yourself with a mission on your mind and your wallet in your hand.
Pretty, perfect, caring adorable you. With a smile that could heal any scratch and a heart that seemed to never run empty. You were the pride and joy of Shishitoren – their mascot in every sense.
You knew everyone by name. If someone asked, you could name at least 5 things about each person from the top of your head. You could name their allergies, their likes and dislikes, and even their interests – all because you listened to them.
You were attentive and warm – quick to lend an ear if someone was having a bad day or offer advice if they asked.
And it was scary how well you could tell if they were in the dumps – it becomes a running joke that you have some kind of emotional superpower when it comes to them. It takes just one look, one look before you’re bringing them to a secluded corner and asking them if they’ve got something weighing on their minds.
You knew their personalities, knew their stories, knew their hearts.
The only time anyone avoided you was when they knew they did something wrong – because they knew you’d be pulling them by the ear and scolding them. And, as much as some of them wanted to get mad, they just couldn’t bring themselves to – because having someone care for them so fiercely was a feeling that not many of them had ever experienced, and from the bottom of your heart you truly cared.
After every fight, they knew you’d be the one to patch them up. Bofurin had the townspeople, sure, but Shishitoren had you. You, who would set up tables in the Ori with every inch of space taken up by ointments, antiseptic spray, gauze – the works. Whatever injury they had, as long as not severe, was taken care of by you.
If it was serious and required hospital attention, you were the one bringing them there – eyes sharp and tongue at the ready to yell at anyone who dared to treat them differently or deny services.
And these boys … they had the utmost respect for you. You, who had nothing but love to give, never expected a single thing back. You cared for them, genuinely, and saw them as your own brothers to fuss over and worry about and love.
You were family – and honestly, Togame and Tomiyama were just glad to have met you after their fight with Bofurin.
You’d moved to this side of town just a little after the whole thing, and when you’d gotten lost in the dark alleys with your phone on 1% and tears in your eyes, it was Tomiyama who walked you home. He’d talked your ear off the whole way, of course, but he was surprised at how you were able to keep up with him. You were actively responding to him, asking questions, keeping the conversation going – and Tomiyama liked that.
And when you’re delivered safely to your front door, you ask if you can exchange contact info. His eyes light up, and he’s quickly saying yes and that he’d love to hang out with you again.
He doesn’t expect you to reach out to him the next day though, asking if you can give him a thank-you present for going out of his way the day before.
And when you show up to the Ori, with a bag of assorted goodies in your hands, you’re met with more men than you could count, all with eyes staring wide at you.
They expect you to run away, honestly, because they know what they look like. They know that you’re probably a sweet girl, sure, but they were a gang – plain and simple. A gang working on reform, sure, but a gang nonetheless. So, if you were to drop your little goodie bag in fear and run for your life, well, it would probably be the most appropriate response.
Instead, what you do is gasp, point an accusatory finger at Tomiyama, and exclaim, “WHY didn’t you tell me that there would be more people here?”
You quickly hand him the bag, muttering out an “I’ll be back”, and in less than 30 minutes you’ve got your hands full with 5 more bags, packed to the brim with even more snacks.
With Togame, it takes just a little bit longer for him to warm up to you. Not that he doesn’t already like you – it’s just that he’s, well, a bit more reserved and a bit more quiet and observing (a lot more quiet if we’re comparing him to Tomiyama).
It’s when, during a fleeting conversation, he mentions that he plays Go with the elderly men at the public bath – and he watches you perk up at his words. Immediately, you’re asking if it would be alright to play with him sometime, and while he’s hesitant, he ultimately says yes at the sight of your bright eyes and wide smile.
He admits that he thinks you’re just bluffing, until you actually plan a day to play, and now you’ve got him thinking that maybe you’re good? Maybe, you’re a secret Go prodigy or something? Maybe you’ve got a secret or two up your sleeve and –
He wipes the floor with you. Absolutely demolishes you. But you’re happy about it, laughing at the result, and he’s confused because you didn’t win? Did you … did you know how board games work?
You’re quick to tell him that you enjoyed it because you got to spend time with him, got to know who he is as a person because of how he played.
You leave him standing on the street, a bottle of Ramune long forgotten in his hand (his prize for winning) and his mouth open in surprise.
And when you notice he’s not next to you anymore, you turn around with a smile on your face as you ask, “Don’t you feel that you know me a little bit better too?”
Yeah, they were glad that you got to see them as they were now, with hopes and dreams and emotions. They don’t dwell on the idea of you meeting them before then – they don’t want to. Because if they thought about it too long, they’d have their answer.
You deserved to be happy and healthy and protected. You, who filled a hole in Shishitoren that they didn’t even know existed.
And now you were an irreplaceable part of their lives, so precious and so important that they began to understand Bofurin. They had you – someone that they would do anything in their power to protect – to keep safe from harm.
You were Shishitoren’s Princess.
After that, Tomiyama and Togame were stuck to you like glue. Always thinking about you, always concerned, always wondering where you were.
You’re running late and they haven’t got a text letting them know why? They’re out on the streets, danger flashing in their eyes and prepared for the worst. However, when they see that you’ve been distracted by a stray cat on the road, all they do is let out a laugh and join your side.
They hear you sniffling and see that your eyes are shining with tears? They’re immediately on you, asking who did this to you, with a promise to make them pay for it tenfold. “You can’t really beat up allergies,” you laugh, before sneezing into a tissue. Immediately, the Shishitoren boys are rounded up, their eyes focused and determined – to get you allergy medicine.
You were everything good in the world, bottled up into someone who could make even the rainiest days seem a bit more brighter and the hardest challenges a bit more bearable – and they didn’t want anyone infringing on their happiness.
So when Hayato Suo, from Bofurin, comes across you one fateful day – they’re absolutely livid.
You hadn’t meant to cross over to their territory – truly. It’s just that Togame had mentioned that his favorite Ramune flavor had been out since last night, and Tomiyama had been going on and on about this new snack that just wasn’t available at the usual corner store that you guys frequented, so you found yourself with a mission on your mind and your wallet in your hand.
And honestly, you loved them, you did, but the way that they treated you like a delicate little flower sometimes felt a bit too stuffy.
What? Did they think you just patched people up for fun? That you knew how to medically treat someone just short of a nurse because it was your hobby?
You’re too absorbed in your thoughts to realize where the directions on your phone are taking you until you’ve already passed the train crossing border that connects Bofurin’s and Shishitoren’s territory. You’re spit out onto a street that you’ve never seen before, but you shrug it off.
When you find the corner store, you make quick work of your shopping list, even grabbing some items for yourself, before you’re out the door.
It’s when you’ve barely taken a few steps down the street that you feel it – the staring on the back of your head.
While you were in the store, you’d felt their eyes on you, but you’d ignored it, hoping that it was just a fleeting moment of curiosity. Now, you see that it was the eyes of a predator stalking their prey.
You pause, before quickly taking out your phone and sending a quick text to Togame and Tomiyama – they just need one small clue and they can fill in the rest – so you send your location.
And when you finally turn to face your stalker, you snap a photo of their face. For insurance, you assure yourself. Just in case.
He’s taller than you, with a smirk on his face and his hands in his pockets. You feel uneasy at his presence, and you look up and down the street to see that no one’s around.
Damnit damnit damnit.
“You’re really pretty, totally my type. Could I get your contact information?” he’s asking, but the tone that he’s saying it in doesn’t leave any room for objection.
“No,” you reply, simple and straight to the point. Then, you stay standing there, and you wait.
“Never turn your back on an enemy.”
Togame had said this briefly, once, while the both of you were watching everyone spar.
When the man takes a step forward, you take one back, maintaining the distance between you and him.
“Oh come on – it’s just your number. Don’t make this such a big deal.”
He’s holding himself back and you can see it. You can see the way his hands are twitching by his sides now and the way his breathing is starting to speed up.
“Always keep an eye on your opponent~! You wouldn’t wanna miss anything!”
Tomiyama’s words run through your mind next, and you will yourself to maintain your facade.
You’re starting to get just the slightest bit worried now, though. It really shouldn’t be too much longer, you think. Any minute now.
But a minute passes by, Togame and Choji aren’t here, and the guy’s got his hand wrapped around your wrist so tightly that it’s starting to throb.
“Please – leave me alone!” you yell out, but it’s going through one ear and out the other. He’s smiling down, dark and sinister, and it’s then that you remember something so crucial that you can’t believe you forgot it.
“Kick them, um, down there. It’ll hurt, a lot. But that’s a last resort type of move, alright princess?”
Those self-defense lessons are paying off, Togame.
You make a mental note to thank him when he gets here.
You kick the man, hard, and when he releases your arm you step back as fast as you can, but –
The plastic bag you had once held in your hand, now filled with the sloshing liquid and the broken glass of Togame’s Ramune bottle, causes you to slip.
Your hands shoot out and you close your eyes in anticipation of the fall that never comes because strong, warm arms are holding you up.
You let out a sigh of relief – finally. You’re brought to stand, but before those hands can leave your body, you’re swiftly grabbing them to wrap around your waist and leaning your head on their chest.
“Geez, took you guys long enough –”
The sight of a black jacket cuts you off. Black, with green embroidery.
You quickly push yourself off, eyes wide and cheeks red because you had just initiated a very intimate hug with someone who was a complete stranger.
“I-I’m so sorry! Oh my gosh – I thought you were someone else!” you blurt out, hands covering your mouth – and he looks as caught off guard as you are.
His eye is wide, mouth open just the tiniest bit, and – he’s cute.
“Wow, I don’t get thanked like that too often,” he smiles, and you’re mortified at his playful reaction.
“I –,” You open your mouth to apologize again, but he’s got a hand on your shoulder, quickly cutting you off.
You look up at him, and the smile’s still there, but it’s different now – it’s frightening.
“Would you mind stepping to the side for me? It seems some people just don’t know when to quit.”
You hear shuffling behind you, and you’re quickly brought back to the situation at hand. Nodding, you get out of his way, and it’s as soon as you step past him that you hear a sickening thud and a groan of pain.
When you turn, you’re relieved to see that the man who’d been harassing you is on the ground, and if you were to guess, probably out cold.
“Wow… You made quick work of him,” you don’t try to hide the awe in your voice and Suo finds it both endearing and concerning that you’re praising him.
Concerning mainly because, well, you don’t seem to be the type to leisurely enjoy street fights.
And now you’re right in front of him, inspecting his face and body to make sure there aren’t any cuts that need to be treated or any injuries that need tending.
It’s second nature at this point — ingrained in your body and soul.
Cute, he thinks, very cute that she thinks he touched me.
“Do you see anything wrong, love?” he jests, enjoying the way you’re so diligently scanning him from head to toe.
“No, I don’t think—”
You are, once again, mortified by his teasing. No one at Shishitoren spoke to you like this, and sure they called you Princess, but to you, it held the same value as sister or friend.
“S-sorry, force of habit… ah, thank you for saving me! I sent my friends a message but —”
You’re cut off by the sounds of two distinct voices yelling "Princess", and Suo’s quick to prepare himself for another fight.
However, when he sees Togame and Tomiyama run around the corner with panic in their eyes and desperation in their voices, he’s just confused.
And when they spot the two of you, with an unconscious body on the ground, it gets even more confusing. Because why are they walking over here and why do they have scowls on their face and —
“Princess, what were you thinking?”
Tomiyama and Togame are all over you, Togame’s hand gently grasping your chin to move your face from side to side, and Tomiyama’s got his hand on your wrist, softly thumbing at the bruised skin.
“I’m okay, I’m okay.”
Suo’s observing all of this, and he’s trying to rack his brain for any information about you. God, he really wished Nirei was here right now.
He’s never heard that name before or seen your face, so this must be a recent development. But with the way they’re fretting over you, you’d think that you’d all been childhood friends or something because the way that they’re worrying over you is definitely not normal.
You try to push their hands away from you, embarrassed that you have an audience, but they don’t let up so all you’re able to do is grumble and huff as they inspect you from head to toe.
“... He hurt you,” Tomiyama whispers, and you grab his wrist before he starts stalking toward the body on the floor.
“It’s okay um – oh, I don’t know your name, but he helped me out! Everything’s fine – really! Please, let’s calm down,” you plead, and all it takes is one look at your anxious face for the both of them to ease up.
Now, Suo really wants to understand.
“Suo … thanks for protecting her. This idiot didn’t tell us she was crossing over into your territory. It’s our fault, sorry,” Togame explains, one hand scratching the back of his neck and the other draped over your shoulders.
Suo takes a moment to respond. Who would he be, after all, if not an instigator?
Because — who were you? You – who could turn the Shishitoren leader and his second in command into mere puppies with your sweet voice. You — who had them running like their lives depended on it.
“Ah, I’d save a sweet girl like her any day,” Suo says, testing the waters, and he gets the exact reaction he was hoping for.
Togame and Tomiyama stiffen up beside you, as you gasp in surprise at his words.
And suddenly, there’s a shift in the air – and it’s deadly.
You sense it, of course, because who wouldn’t be able to feel the heightened electricity and the low hum of buzzing coming from Togame’s and Tomiyama’s chests?
And you, ever the de-escalating expert, quickly blurt out, “Ah, wait! I need to go back to the store! Give me like 5 minutes!”
Before they can get a “no” out, you’re already out of their grasp and beelining it for the convenience store.
It’s silent for a moment, with just Suo, Tomiyama, and Togame looking at one another.
Finally, Togame breaks the silence.
“Look, Sakura’s a friend –”
“And Ume-chan too!” Tomiyama chimes in.
“ – and I hope we’re not stepping on your toes here but don’t get any ideas.”
Suo knows he should stop. He should probably apologize, and let them know it’s not what they think. That they’ve got it all wrong. But … he really can’t help it – not with the way that they’re hissing at him like cats. It’s adorable – and you’re adorable.
He was never really good with holding back his tongue, anyway.
“I think she can make her own decisions, don’t you?”
Togame and Tomiyama do not take kindly to his words, and so it begins – a passive-aggressive verbal war.
“Ha, right. It’s been fun, eye-patch-kun, but we really oughta take her back home. You know, so that we can patch her up,” Togame says, and though there's a smile on his face, Suo understands the underlying message behind his words.
She got hurt in your territory, under your patrol.
Suo smiles back at him.
“Ah, sorry! I wasn’t quick enough to save her, but I’m glad I was able to sort this out before things got out of hand,” Suo replies.
All you guys do is blow things up out of proportion – with violence.
“If we’d been here, she wouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place.”
“Hm. But you probably would’ve gone overboard.”
“Watch it –”
“Ah, sorry!”
It’s when Tomiyama finally opens his mouth that Suo realizes he’s been uncharacteristically quiet, and when they make eye contact, Suo’s smile deepens – because Tomiyama looked like he was ready to maul Suo into pieces, like a true Lion.
“Ume-chan and Furin are our friends,” he says, eyes darkening with every word, “but she’s our family – I think it’s best if you stand down.”
It’s at that moment that you come racing back towards them, your hands full of goodies and a grin on your face as you exclaim, “I got it! I got it!”
You hand Togame his Ramune, Tomiyama his snack, and … you hand Suo bottled tea.
“Sorry, um, I wasn’t too sure what you liked – but this is my favorite drink! Ah, um, if you don’t like it … Suo … I won’t be hurt. But you strike me as a tea lover so –”
You’re bouncing on the balls of your feet, hands wringing behind your back as you ramble and Suo can’t help the sweet smile and the small laugh that escapes his lips before thanking you.
And as soon as he’s done, you’re being whisked away back to your territory – back to your home.
As you walk through the passing, with Tomiyama’s arm intertwined with yours and Togame’s arm draped over your shoulders, you briefly turn around, just to catch one more glance of Suo.
He’s standing there, smiling as he raises his hand to wave at you. You smile back at him with a glossy look in your eyes before Togame softly flicks your forehead.
Your attention is on Togame now, pouty and dejected, before turning your head indignantly as you begin to lecture him about how you’re supposed to thank someone when they help you, and that it’s the nice thing to do.
In the heat of your lecture, you miss the way that Tomiyama and Togame also turn back to look at Suo.
In the darkness of the tunnel, Suo swears he can see their eyes glinting, and his smile only deepens.
Their eyes, daring and territorial, only say one thing.
Ours. Ours. Ours.
He had to admit, he wasn’t expecting this turn of events but he was intrigued now.
And, it’s only after the three of you disappear that he realizes he never learned your name – your real name.
So, when he volunteers to take over the patrol where the Furin territory ends and the Shishitoren territory starts, who can blame him?
What Suo doesn’t know, though, is that after this little incident, you’re permanently banned from walking alone ever again.
(Of course, you’re not actually banned. But, you are given a scolding afterward – which, in your eyes, is rich coming from Togame and Tomiyama, but sure, whatever.)
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
The next time Suo sees you, it’s when he least expects it.
You’re in Bofurin territory, with a small first-aid kit on your lap as you tend to the child in front of you. You’re smiling at the sniffling little boy as you wrap some gauze around his ankle, your fingers adept and swift, as if you’d done this countless times before.
“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it? You’re so strong!”
You ask him how it feels, and the little boy beams up at you, the tears in his eyes long gone and instead replaced with immense gratitude.
You smile down at him, playfully scolding him to be more careful as you pat his head softly.
And then Suo sees you hand him a lollipop — a lollipop — and it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.
So, really, can you blame him for sneaking up behind you and whispering into your ear?
“What brings you to Bofurin territory, princess?”
You yelp in surprise, before turning around so fast that Suo worries if you gave yourself whiplash.
Once your blush has gone down and the surprise of seeing him wears off, you explain that you’re here to get some bread for Tomiyama from the Cactus bakery.
He’d been saying that he wanted fresh bread, but there weren’t any in Shishitoren that you knew of. And as soon as he mentioned the Cactus’s Anpan over on Bofurin's side of the tunnel, well, who could blame you for taking that opportunity to not only do something for him but also for yourself?
Which, of course, was to hopefully run into Suo.
“He sent you all the way over here to pick up bread for him?”
“Hm? No, of course not. This is a surprise for him!”
“I see – I was wondering why you didn’t have your guard dogs around…”
“My guard dogs?”
“Oh!” you laugh and Suo thinks it’s the most pleasant sound he’s heard in his life.
“You mean Tomiyama and Togame? No, they don’t know I’m here. It wouldn’t really be a surprise if they knew, right?”
Suo’s starting to see it now – why they care for you so much. But he wants to know more, so he asks about the kid you were tending to.
“Ah — I saw him playing with some kids and he took a nasty fall. I didn’t think it was right to let him go home without care, so I patched him up. I hope that’s okay?”
Suo finds that he really likes talking to you. He likes how expressive you are, how kind you are, and how thoughtful you are. And he finally learns your name. He likes that about you too – it’s cute.
So, naturally, he offers to escort you to Cactus – purely just to keep an eye on you, he convinces himself.
And when he escorts you back to the border, all your goodies in one hand and his arm in the other, well –
He doesn’t care enough to find justification for his actions. He just really liked you – plain and simple.
When you let go of his arm, he’s already grieving the feeling of your body pressed to his side.
You were warm, soft, and he’s sure that if he ever got the chance to taste your lips, sweet.
“Let’s exchange contact information! That way, you can be my guard dog when I’m here,” you say as you pull out your phone, and Suo’s so so glad that he ran into you today.
When he adds your contact to his phone, he puts you down as Princess.
When you add his contact to yours, you put him down as Guard Dog.
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
After that, you and Suo try to meet up. But… well…
You don’t see the point in trying to hide it. You were, after all, your own person. You could think for yourself, make decisions for yourself, and speak up for yourself. You were so open to loving and the Shishitoren boys knew this – so why should you hide it?
And when you had something on your mind, you were determined to make it happen. So, you don’t see why it would be any different with Suo. You had met him twice now, and you wanted to keep seeing him. To keep talking to him. To maybe even date him.
But to Shishitoren, this was equivalent to losing you – and they could never let that happen.
So Shishitoren never lets you see him – and it’s not like they’re barricading you inside the Ori or blocking the entrance to the border (though, they’ll admit that the thoughts crossed their mind in one way or the other).
No. They do it in a way that they know will make you stay with them – by acting like big babies.
The first to fall was Arima –
You’re about to leave to meet up with Suo when Arima runs into the Ori, cries of pain leaving his lips as he whines at how much it hurts. You drop your bag immediately, texting Suo a panicked text about how something came up and that you’re sorry but you’ve gotta cancel today.
You have Arima sit down, all your supplies laid out next to you as you ask him what happened and –
It’s a paper cut.
But he’s babbling about how deep it is and how much it stings and it takes forever to just disinfect it and wrap a bandage around it before you realize that half the day’s just flew by for a minor injury.
Second was Kanuma – when he got a bad haircut.
Third was Sako – when he suddenly, out of nowhere, began asking you for advice about how you would approach someone who you used to look up to but lost respect for, who you vowed to fight and win against, only to lose against them and have them apologize to you (you, obviously, struggled with what advice you could even give him).
Fourth was Tomiyama – when he lost his favorite pair of sneakers.
Fifth was Togame – when he lost an eating challenge for the first time.
“It’s for the good of Shishitoren,” they say as they prepare the next victim.
Eventually, you find yourself tending to almost all of Shishitoren’s wounds, whether physical or emotional, and you just can’t believe that they’re fighting against you and Suo so hard.
But, in between all of that, you and Suo still manage to sneak in hushed phone calls and sweet texts.
Always asking about how the other’s doing, always talking about how your day went. He looks forward to it, he realizes, laying in bed as he hears you start to slur the ends of your words, drifting off into sleep.
And you send him photos all the time – it could be of a cat you came across while on the way to the Ori, or a drink that you tried that you liked – and with each text, with each phone call, Suo finds himself becoming smitten with you.
You, who would remind him to drink water and to at least eat something small to get through the day. You, who had perfect memory and would follow up with the things that he’d talked about days ago, just because you were interested and curious (he’d mentioned that there was a tea spot that he frequented in Makochi, and it only took a day or two later for you to bring it up again, this time with all sorts of questions and comments like “I looked at what they serve! Which one’s your favorite?” and “I’d love to go there with you sometime, Suo – if I ever get the chance”. He’d only said the name of this tea shop once, but you remembered).
And sweet, kind, loving you – who seemed to know whenever he had a particularly tough day. You were so attentive to him, which was surprising because all your interactions were never in person, but it seemed that you could understand his mood just based on the extra second it took for him to answer the phone or the way he responded to your text. And the thing was that Suo was great at masking his emotions – an expert, even. But you, who could just sense these things about other people, were giving him the chance to open up if he so chose to. You never pressed, never battered him for an answer. Just a simple – “I feel like there’s something on your mind, but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay! Just know that if you ever need a shoulder to lean on, I’ll be there for you Suo.”
And, above all, you never stop trying. You never stop trying to escape the clutches of Shishitoren to see him – though you apologize every time your plans get thwarted as if you both weren’t expecting the same outcome.
But Suo doesn’t see you again, for months – not until a huge fight breaks out, and you’re honestly the last one he expects to see rushing onto the aftermath of the battlefield with a backpack filled to the brim with medical supplies and a determined look on your face.
They didn’t know Shishitoren was going to get involved and fight alongside them, didn’t know that the aftermath was going to be this bad. But if Suo had known that you’d be running to meet everyone afterwards, well –
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
He sees you a mile away, and he’s so relieved that you’re not hurt. That you’re up and moving. That you’re here. But he’s also surprised and caught off guard because – why were you here?
It’s then that he sees your bag, sees the way that you’ve got your hair up and out of your face, and the way that you’re scanning everyone up and down so fast that your eyes never stop moving.
My little nurse, Suo thinks, rushing to the injured like the sweet princess she is.
Little did you know that as he was fighting, there were only 3 things revolving through his mind – Bofurin, Makochi, and you. He fought to protect those 3 things that were so very dear to his heart, and to be greeted with the sight of you after winning? Well, it couldn’t be anything less but a sign of his hard work. A reward, if you will.
He sees you run up to Umemiya, serious and purposeful, as you open your mouth and wait for a response. Umemiya, though very confused, gives you an answer that you seem satisfied with because you nod, then thank him, and now you’re running towards Suo, and you make eye contact, and he can’t wait for you to dote after him and take care of him and –
You smile at him, scan his body, nod – and walk right past him. You never stopped for him, actually. You just kept moving. Just kept walking.
And Suo just watches – he watches as you make your way over to where Shishitoren is laid out, watches as they all let out a sigh of relief when they see you safe and unharmed, watches as they start talking animatedly to you as you start setting up for aid.
And you’re standing there with a pained look in your eyes as you nod at their words halfheartedly, more focused on the injuries that they’re sporting on their bodies than the words coming out of their mouths. You’re going from person to person as fast as you can, and although Suo can’t hear you, he can read your lips as you tell every single person – “I’m here now. It’s okay. Thank you for fighting. I’ll take care of you.”
He watches as you get to Tomiyama and Togame, and sees the way your eyes start to water as they pat your head and tell you that they’re fine – even though you have eyes, you can see how hard they’ve fought. Instead, they’re fondly thanking you for coming all this way just to take care of them.
And suddenly, everything got a bit too real for Suo. A bit too scary.
Because he didn’t realize how hard he’d fallen for you, in between those two fateful meetings, the constant late-night phone calls, and the never-ending texts.
It hits Suo like a train. He wanted to be the one that you search for in the crowd. He wanted to be the one that you’re fussing over. He wanted you to patch him up. He wanted you.
He was in love with you.
And he shuts down – completely.
He goes silent, uncharacteristically so, to the point that Sakura and Nirei are starting to get worried.
“What’s wrong, Suo-san?”
“Suo, what’s the matter with you?”
It goes through one ear and out the other – no response, no indication that he’s even present at the moment.
It’s when you’re patching up the last member of Shishitoren that you feel the heat of an eye on you – and your body reacts before your mind can.
Suo’s name is the only thing running through your mind as you finish up as fast as you can – and you’re off.
You’re making your way to where all of Bofurin is sitting, just barely slipping out of the grasps of the Shishitoren boys.
It’s Togame, with his long limbs, who reaches out and puts a hand on your shoulder and it’s Tomiyama, with his fast reflexes, who has your hand in his.
“Princess, no–”
“Let me find Suo.”
“But you don’t even –”
“Choji, Jo – let me go.”
They hesitate. You’d never spoken to them like this before. Never used their first names before. Never been so cold before.
But they weren’t fools. Even if you tried to hide it, they’d seen the way you sneaked off to talk to him or the way you thought you were hiding your phone when you were responding to him. Anytime they’d bring something up that had even an inkling to do with Suo, you were excitedly adding in your input – all while stumbling over your words as you tried to be mysterious.
(They’d done a test, actually. All they did was bring up the word tea and you were fighting for your life as you kept accidentally saying Suo’s name when talking about your friend.
“Ah, Su– AH, I mean, my friend really likes this type of tea.”
“Oh! That’s S– my friend's favorite place in Makochi!”
They didn’t have the heart to tell you because, well – you really sucked at lying.)
And they realize, with heavy hearts, that you were never theirs to lock up in the Ori. You were so kind, so lovable, so sweet, because that’s just who you are as a person.
You were protected, sure, and healthy, sure, but you weren’t happy.
You, who were the embodiment of everything that Shishitoren was working to protect, had made a choice and they weren’t respecting it the way that you respected them – and they were being, well, selfish.
And when they finally let you go, you sigh in relief. Making your way over to where Suo’s sitting, you yell out over your shoulder, with so much spite, so much anger, and so much love –
“You act like I’m never coming back – stop whining like puppies!”
Togame’s and Tomiyama’s eyes widen in shock before they both laugh lightly at your words in disbelief.
You really knew how to scold them.
“... she’s talking about you.”
“... nah, she’s definitely talking about you.”
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
When you made your way over to Suo, you were met with guarded and curious stares from all of Bofurin. Too focused and too determined, you brush it off. You knew about the fight that they had with Shishitoren, sure, but you thought that they had patched everything up? And Shishitoren had fought with them for this big battle, so why the curiosity?
If only you knew the real reason everyone was staring at you.
Instead, you find yourself running past all of them with Suo’s name falling from your lips, and when you see him, he doesn’t respond.
You pause, dejected, before repeating his name.
No response.
Now you’re worried – and scared.
You recognize Sakura and Nirei, based on how Suo had described them briefly, and you immediately begin asking them what happened.
“Sakura, Nirei – is Suo okay? Did he get hurt? Does he need first aid?”
You’re met with silence – and shock.
“H-huh? Do we know you?”
“U-umm – sorry, have we met before?”
You pause at their response, looking at them confused.
You blink once, then twice, then three times – before glancing at Suo.
Unresponsive and unperturbed.
You introduce yourself slowly, giving Sakura and Nirei the chance to remember you – because they must’ve heard your name at least once, right?
They hadn’t.
And now you’re standing there with hundreds of eyes on you, as you come to terms with the fact that maybe … maybe you’d been wrong this whole time.
You clear your throat before timidly asking a question that you fear you already know the answer to.
“Did he um… did he not tell you about me? Uh… about us?”
And suddenly – everything goes to shit.
Shishitoren rises up in arms, walking over to where you are because why did you look so confused and why was Suo ignoring their beloved princess –
All of Bofurin is staring at you with their mouths wide open, processing the words you’ve just said –
Sakura’s spluttering, desperately trying to form words as he continues to just point back and forth from you to Suo with shaky hands –
Nirei’s got his notebook in his hand, flipping through it like a madman because how could he miss something like this, and had Suo ever talked about you? –
Suo’s unresponsive, still –
And then, to top it all off, Kiryu gasps because he’s finally solved it. He’d seen a text on Suo’s phone, so brief and so quick, but he was sure that the person Suo was texting was –
“Oh! You’re the one he’s been texting! You’re Princess!”
At Kiryu’s words, you snap.
And no one, not even Togame and Tomiyama, had ever seen you this angry, this upset, this livid.
You weren’t expecting him to go around screaming your name all over Makochi, but what you did expect was at the very least maybe his friends to know. Was that so absurd? You never tried to hide your feelings for Suo from Shishitoren (They tried so hard to stop it) so why wasn’t it reciprocated? Did he not feel the same way? Had you looked too deep into his actions and created a fantasy in your mind? Did you not really know him as well as you thought?
Or worse – had he been toying with you?
Oh, you were pissed – and poor Suo didn’t have a clue.
You go to stand in front of him, eerily calm and sickeningly sweet as you call his name one more time.
“Hayato Suo.”
Now that – that brings him back to his senses. You watch him blink in succession as he grounds himself, before his eye darts to you, to Furin, to Shishitoren – and he quickly puts the pieces together before letting out a stiff laugh.
“Ah – I was hoping to introduce you properly to everyon–”
“Am I a joke to you, Hayato?”
Suo freezes at your words.
How could you, who had unknowingly wormed your way into his heavily guarded heart, be a joke?
But he realizes now – and he feels, for one of the few times in his life, stupid.
Because you love with your heart on your sleeve, and Suo loves with his heart tucked away.
And really, Suo should’ve known, because you’re you — you who gave Shishitoren something to protect and to hold close to their hearts, safe from danger and harm’s way.
You press on, fighting through the anger and the embarrassment and the fear you feel rising inside of you.
“Tell me Hayato, answer me. Was I? Hm? Did you have fun?”
“No, I –”
“Every call, every text – did that mean nothing to you? Was I just being delusional?”
“Wait I –”
You’re so close to him now, softly jabbing your finger into his chest as your words begin to get more and more shaky.
“Do you feel powerful, Hayato? Making a Shishitoren girl fall in love with you–”
You stop yourself, teary-eyed and vulnerable, and you feel so stupid. Because what hurts more than anything is giving someone all your love, all your time, all your energy – all for it to have been for nothing. You thought he felt the same, truly. But now? All you wanted was to walk away from all of this, walk away from Bofurin, and never ever look back.
He grabs your hand, desperately, as your words sink in. He wants to – no, needs to make sure that he’s not just hearing things. That he’s not just imagining it.
“You … love me?”
You pause, taking the chance to actually look at him. You see hope on his face, and you furrow your eyebrows in response.
“... is this another joke? Of course, I love you, you idiot. You would’ve been the first one I ran to but your leader said you guys were all patched up already so I –”
Everyone’s eyes turn to Umemiya, who shrivels under the attention and wordlessly mouths an “I didn’t know!”
But your eyes are only on Suo’s, and Suo’s is only on yours.
And Suo lets you see him, truly see him, for who he is. He doesn’t shy away from your stare, doesn't put on a mask, doesn’t push his feelings into the box that’s been his safe haven for so many years.
Your eyes flicker with uncertainty and fear, but you convince yourself to try one more time. Just one last time.
“Hayato Suo, I really do love you,” you whisper, so slowly, so hesitantly, so scared.
Then, with everyone’s eyes on the both of you, Suo slides one hand to the small of your back, and the other to cradle your face.
He wanted to learn how to love with his heart on his sleeve – just like you.
“… again.”
“… I lov—”
His lips cut you off, and honestly, you’re not even mad. Not when he’s pulling you flush to his body, his hand slipping to the back of your neck, and your fingers grasping at the collar of his jacket.
Black, with green embroidery.
“I love you, too – but I’m afraid there’s too many eyes here for me to show you how deeply I feel for you, Princess – I hope you’ll forgive me.”
Dazed, all you can manage is a soft nod and a flutter of your eyelashes before pulling his lips back to yours.
Suo smiles into the kiss. He was right, you were as sweet as he thought you’d be.
#melody answers (& loves it)#melody writes (& never stops)#hayato suo x reader#suo hayato x reader#wind breaker x reader#windbreaker x reader#wind breaker (satoru nii)#hayato suo#suo hayato#wind breaker
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HI!!!! I am such a huge fan of your work, could i request something with charles where the reader is max verstappens sister but she's a pop star (think sabrina carpenter) and charles and her are dating on the dl but he goes to her concert and gets spotted and then everyone goes crazy with fan theories and they hard launch with the music video, and max is pissed because a, she's off limits to drivers. and b, why didn't they tell him.
anyways, that was just my thoughts, thank you girl!
don't dim your light- c.l
summary: you have a secret boyfriend and an album coming and you realise that hiding yourself and your life only makes you feel like shit.
pairing: charles leclerc x fem! verstappen! popstar! reader
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Being the sister of Max Verstappen meant two things:
1: You were famous.
2: You were off-limits to every single other driver.
Too bad that you’d fallen for your brother’s rival (/husband???). Charles was perfect, everything you’d ever wanted in a man. He was kind, caring, thoughtful, and most of all… fucking gorgeous. It had been months of sneaking around because, while Charles didn’t feel scared at all to drive a car around at top speed, actually risking his life, he was scared of your brother. Like, scared to death.
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“Bebé,” he whined, holding you against him. “My love! Do not leave me here!”
You rolled your eyes, chuckling, as you pushed his hands off of you. “I have to catch my flight!”
“But if we don’t spend Christmas together I won’t see you until the summer!” he groaned.
“The joys of dating a popstar, I guess,” you shrugged, grabbing your suitcase. You pressed a kiss to his cheek and smiled. “I’ll see you in Monaco, alright?”
He frowned then pressed his lips to yours as hard as he possibly could. “I love you.”
“I love you too, you big sap,” you smirked. He rolled his eyes.
“You are so mean to me, you know that?” he huffed.
“Bye Charles!” you called after yourself, leaving his Monaco apartment.
It had been 7 whole months of bliss with Charles. Obviously, you’d met him prior to the first date, knowing him quite well from all the stories Max had told you, but shockingly, it took a Puma brand ambassadors dinner for him to make the first move. He was evidently very nervous, but you’d started to love his weird dorky qualities. He was sweet, and kind, and that’s all you really cared about.
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“London, can we make some noise?!” you cheered. The stadium roared back to you. You had done it. You’d sold out the O2 for 4 whole nights. You were one of the biggest pop stars on the planet. “Are you guys ready for one last song tonight?” they screamed back at you. “Alright, this one is new, I hope you like it!”
The intro to Bed Chem started, and you knew everyone already knew it (it had been leaked a few months ago), but you danced and sang it exactly how it was meant to sound. One thing you loved about being on stage is how free you felt. All of those people were there to see you, which melted your heart. You loved every single fan you’d ever come across and appreciated every single one of them. They made you, they made your success.
As the song finished, ‘new album out next week! xxx’ flashed behind you on the screen, and the crowd went wild.
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You walked into your dressing room, exhausted from the night, and slightly hurt that despite offering to fly them out, none of your family came. You understood, Max’s career was important, and it was his last chance before the regulations changed to get the most out of the car. He wanted his fifth so badly, mostly because he wasn’t sure he was going to stay around from 2026 onwards. He had a family now. He had a baby and P to take care of. He didn’t like the media circus that F1 had turned into, or the fact that it was a popularity contest. Your entire family had been built around Max, and you knew why, but it didn’t make it hurt any less when you were reminded of the fact that you were just the second kid.
“My love!” Charles cheered, wrapping you up in his arms, startling you. “You were incredible! You were amazing!” he pressed kiss after kiss to your neck and cheek as you hugged him back, ecstatic that he was here.
He had taken the time out of his insanely busy schedule, on a race week, to come see you on the literal other side of the world. He truly was the best boyfriend in the world.
“What are you doing here?” you chuckled, shocked by his presence. “You should be getting ready for Japan!”
He shrugged. “I’ll be fine in Japan, I wasn’t going to miss you performing!”
You pulled him closer once again, pressing your lips against his. “I fucking love you,” you whispered, trying to make your voice sound steady.
“I love you too,” you smiled, pulling back. The way he looked at you. All the love in the world. Like you hung the fucking stars just for him. He adored you, and you felt it. You felt bathed in his light the second he walked near you, that’s how much he loved you. “Don’t cry,” he frowned, wiping the tears you hadn’t even noticed were falling, away. “I hope they’re happy tears,” he teased.
You nodded, burying your head in his chest. “They are. They really are.”
He wrapped his arms around you and held you tight. “I’m glad.”
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y/nverstappen
liked by charlesleclerc, maxverstappen, and 8,983,837 others
y/nverstappen SHORT N SWEET OUT ON THE 6TH OF APRIL BITCHES!!!!!!! ROYAL COURT (with lady broski) OUT ON THE 8TH OF APRIL BITCHES!!!!
comments
user8: prepare to be SICK of me
brittanybroski: ROYAL COURT MENTIONED 💯💯💯💯💯💯 -> liked by y/nverstappen
user999: SHE'S GLOWING
user7: not the grinch picture 💀
maxverstappen: Congratulations Y/n! -> liked by y/nverstappen
user66: DID ANYONE ELSE SEE WHO WAS AT HER SHOW????? -> user92: LITERALLY! -> user933: charles what is you doing here loca?
calebhearon: SHE'S STUNNING -> liked by y/nverstappen
oliviarodrigo: and she's serving. as per usual. liked by y/nverstappen -> user88: LOCA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE -> user22: THE GIRLS ARE HEALING.
user09: now i need to know who bed chem is about... -> user44: thick accent... (charles leclerc) -> user94: officer it's this one! -> user88: on MY cellular device? -> user21: me when i'm delusional.
user802: BED CHEM ATE SO FUCKING HARD OMFG
user213: where is her family? she sold out the O2 for 4 consecutive nights AND is releasing her second album, and they're nowhere to be seen? jos 'i support my daughter' verstappen my ASS. -> user2342: right? It's so unfair, her entire life has been built around max and he couldn't even go see her on the biggest night of her life while pierre gasly and charles leclerc can? It's bullshit.
user90: she's so hot i cannot do this anymore.
user87: charles lurking in the likes...? -> user36: tbf a lot of the drivers follow her, it could be a coincidence.
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f1gossip
liked by pierregasly, landonorris, and 890,848 others
f1gossip Drivers Charles LeClerc and Pierre Gasly were seen at a Y/n Verstappen concert in London this week! They seemed to be enjoying themselves, though there was no sign of Max anywhere!
comments
user88: pierre and lando are messy
user99: WHERE WAS MAX? THIS WAS Y/N'S BIG MOMENT???
user929023: OMFG BED CHEM IS ABOUT CHARLES WTF -> user97437: no it's not she can't steal my husband -> user4: she can, and she did
user772: he looks so drunk in the last photo lmao
user942: WHAT A SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND!
user847: Pierre's sunglasses are taking me out rn 💀 -> pierregasly: what's wrong with them? -> user88: ARE CHARLES AND Y/N TOGETHER??? -> pierregasly: 🤷🤷🤷
user92: they'd be so cute together!!!!
user902: omfg max would KILL him if they're together
user935841: do we all remember the interview where max said he'd fucking shove any of the drivers off the track if they went for his sister? like does charles have a death with? is he not despressed enough?
user91234: charles when i catch you
user7: if he stole my wife, i'm going to be pissed (i've never met her and she doesn't know i exist)
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"People saw you today," you yawned, laying in bed with Charles. The concert was over, and Charles had surprised you with his presence, though it was more than welcome. You were both lying in the luxurious hotel bed as you settled down for sleep, his arms wrapping around you.
He nodded. "I know. I just thought people would assume we're friends though."
You rolled your eyes. Bullshit. “You’re such a bad liar,” you chuckled as his jaw dropped at the accusation.
“I am not lying!” he stressed, but his smirk gave him away.
“Charles LeClerc, you wanted people to find out, didn’t you?” you gasped, hitting him with a pillow.
“I did not!” he hit you back.
What ensued after was a pillow fight that ended with you holding him down against the bed, and his lips on yours. The amount of alcohol you'd both consumed meant that the kiss was messy, but amazing all the same. It was all teeth and tongue, all passion, all Charles.
“You were so pretty up there,” he whispered against your mouth, completely at your mercy. “Felt like you were singing just to me.”
You chuckled, pulling back. “Oh yeah?”
He nodded, biting his lip. “So perfect,” he sighed.
“I still think you wanted people to find out,” you argued, getting off of him.
“Well of course, but that’s-”
“Charles!” you squealed.
"My love!" he chuckled, holding you closer. "How in the world, do you expect me to try and hide the fact that I love you-?"
He was interrupted by your phone ringing. You groaned, he groaned, yet you got up and sat up, grabbing it, answering without looking at the caller id.
"Are you dating Charles?" Max's voice sobered you up pretty quickly. You stuttered for a moment, then laughed.
"W-what?" you questioned. "No."
He huffed from the other side of the phone. "Are you sure? What was he doing at your show?"
You rolled your eyes. "I don't know, maybe he actually enjoys my music and wanted to come see me? Is that so outlandish?"
"You know that's not what I'm saying."
"Yeah, you're not even interested in my life enough to ask. The shows were great, thanks for asking dickhead," you scoffed before ending the call and blocking his number. He was so... self-involved. He'd stopped caring about you and your interests when you were only kids, too focused on the plan to notice that fact that you were there, and that you adored your big brother. Nevertheless, he didn't care, so you had to stop caring too.
"Are you alright?" Charles whispered, wrapping an arm around you.
You nodded, too fragile to answer. You knew you'd break down crying if you answered verbally, so that would have to do.
"I'm sorry," he pressed gentle but grounding kisses to your neck and back as you gave yourself a moment to soak it all in. "I know how hard this is on you. I'm sorry."
"I don't want you to apologise for loving me," you whispered, your voice breaking.
He chuckled. "I'll never apologise for that," he smiled against your skin. "I'm just sorry that your family are... difficult."
You nodded, leaning into him. "They are."
"You were radiant up on that stage tonight," he beamed. "Don't let them dim your light, please baby."
You nodded. "You're right. No more dimming lights."
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The song was simple and from your next album, it could be your second single of the album, and you knew it was catchy and good. It was a good plan, a great plan, even. You and Charles would hard launch your relationship to the world with a music video appearance. Not only would it show the world your relationship, it would also be a great way to generate buzz for your upcoming album. Win-win. The idea was sexy and cool, and shooting it was as much fun as you'd imagined (aka, a lot of kisses, a lot of him touching you, and a lot of retakes), and by the end of the shoot you were convinced it was your best video yet.
You weren't going to tell Max before the video came out. You weren't interested in getting two different lectures, so you decided you'd prefer one long one. Charles supported your decision, and didn't tell anyone shit until the night the video came out.
By then, it was fair game.
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charlesleclerc & y/nverstappen
liked by pierregasly, arthurleclerc, oscarpiastri and 6,893,234 others
charlesleclerc isn't she lovely? please, please, please mv out now.
comments
user92: YOU'RE JOKING
user23: WHAT A PERFECT COUPLE
user9535: stood up and applauded.
user76: this is my niche and i'm so here for it.
brittanybroski: MY WOMAN, NOOOOOOOOO
user024: she's perfect. she is so perfect.
user924084208: can i be her when I grow up? (i'm 34)
user3: she's kind of a slut... -> user9: please please please for the love of god shut the fuck up
user45: idk who I want to be more -> user83: charles. -> user82: charles. -> user08424: charles. -> user36824: charles. -> user24: charles. -> user1: charles. -> user56: charles. -> user75: charles.
pierregasly: KNEW IT FROM THE START ->charlesleclerc: is that because we told you or...? -> pierregasly: trying to steal my thunder rn is CRAZY -> charlesleclerc: trying to make this about yourself rn is CRAZY -> y/nverstappen: BOTH of you are acting like idiots, please refrain
y/nverstappen: ilysm -> charlesleclerc: i adore you -> user923: sleeping on the highway tonight!
lewishamilton: :) -> charlesleclerc: thanks bud :)
user834: what does he see in her?
user2: what does she see in him?
user5: is she aware of his cheating scandals in the past? -> user34: it's almost like people can grow and change! hope this helps xxx
user645: she is about to get her heart broken
user2321: she couldn't have picked someone more... suited to her? -> user8: mate she's a popstar and the sister of Max Verstappen, what about Charles LeClerc isn't 'suited' to her?
francocolapinto: 😍😍😍 -> user830: what is blud doing?
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y/nverstappen
liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, pierregasly, and 4,873,933 others
y/nverstappen just 2 days until the album, here's so photos of yours truly to hold you over 💋
comments
user935: anyone notice how max has been MIA and angry since her London shows?? -> user5684: i'm employed what does this mean? -> user33: stop trying to stir shit up bro
charlesleclerc: beautiful girl liked by y/nverstappen
user88: max looked like he was ready to kill charles today lmao
user93940924: she's glowing
user6: not mentioning charles i see... -> user9: girl fuck off -> user4: they've been publicly dating for 2 days, calm down.
user09: sigh... i could treat you better y/n... -> charlesleclerc: no you could not. -> pierregasly: let's reel it in buddy ffs -> charlesleclerc: what??? is defending my honour cringe now? -> pierregasly: not just now, it always was.
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When the album launched, you were nestled in your apartment, alone. You were so excited for a night nice in, but of course, your plans were foiled by a knock on the door, and an outpour of dutch from your brother's lips.
"Fuck off Max," you shouted from your side of the door. "I don't want to talk to you."
"I'm missing a race for this," he sighed, his voice softer than you'd heard it.
You opened the door, and he did something unexpected. He hugged you. A full-blown tight hug, the kind he hadn't given you since you were a kid.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"
You shrugged, pulling out of the hug. "I wasn't interested in the lecture."
"But I know Charles, I could've... I don't know, helped?" he paced around your kitchen. "I just... I don't understand why you felt like you couldn't tell me."
"Max, you said you'd shove anyone off track if they went for me, so I don't understand your disconnect. I'm happy with Charles, like really fucking happy. He makes me feel great, and he cares about me. He loves me. And I'm so sick of trying to make myself smaller so that i can fit into your life. I adore you Max, genuinely, I do. You're my big brother and I love you, and you should be celebrated for your incredible accomplishments, but so should I. I'm not going to sit here and make myself any more unhappy just because it'll make your life easier. I-I won't do it. I want to be able to post my boyfriend, go support him at races, and everything else all the other girlfriends can do. I'm not going to hide him or myself to make you more comfortable," you pushed through the tears building behind your eyes, and stared him right in the eyes. He needed to hear that your life wasn't just about him.
He was quiet for a moment. "I'm happy for you, and I'm sorry that I'm not very good at... being there for you."
He looked uncomfortable. He'd never been very good with his emotions, so that was probably the best you were going to get.
"Thank you," you smiled. "And you really didn't have to miss a race for me, but thank you anyways."
He nodded. "I care about you. I want you to be happy," he explained, looking down.
You were both silent for a few seconds.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" you offered.
He looked up and smiled. Same old Max. Same old you.
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y/nverstappen
liked by landonorris, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen, and 6,243, 563 others
y/nverstappen: and she's out! thank you all so much for the love, mwah!
comments on this post have been limited
maxverstappen: Very proud!
charlesleclerc: i love you so much you're so pretty (please please please let me come over tonight)
landonorris: SHARPEST TOOL IS SUCH A BANGER liked by y/nverstappen
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When You Loved Me
1,209 words || Fluff, Spoilers for Season 4 Episode 4, Hurt/Comfort, GN Reader, Doctor Reader, Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma ||
Inspired by the idea that at least one doctor would have formed an attachment.
Thank you to @bisexualhomelander for being my beta
They're nearly all dead, there's just one loose end that Homelander needs to tie up.
So he stands outside the unassuming house, ready to cross the final name off his list, which he found in an old abandoned file documenting his ‘development’.
It was a stroke of luck that he found you - it seemed as if Vogelbaum scrubbed you from all official records.
Determined to finish what he's started, he knocks on your door and waits impatiently, ready to strike you down where you stand.
“I’m coming!”
He freezes, his entire body tensing up as your voice unlocks memories from his time in the lab, ones buried deep somewhere at the back of his mind.
A frightened and hurt little boy being held, being comforted after the incinerator and the other horrible forms of torture he was subjected to.
“Shhh, it's okay, you're okay. I'm here. Shall we read another story?”
The door slowly opens and there you are.
Now that he's seen your face, the memories are more vivid. There’s still that kindness in your eyes, the one he saw every night before he went to sleep.
At least, for a few months before you disappeared.
“Hello, John.” Your smile is still as warm as he remembers. “My, how you’ve grown. Come in, come in!”
With trepidation, he slowly enters, unsure of what he’ll find. It’s homely, filled with curiosities and everything he’s ever associated with a true American home. As he follows you into your living room, he notices some of the pictures on the wall with you and your former colleagues at Vought, some of whom he’s already killed.
“Would you like something to drink?”
“A glass of milk would be nice,” he replies, trying his best to smile while conflicting thoughts swirl in his mind.
He was so convinced that you were like the others that had you not spoken, he would have killed you the moment you opened the door.
“Well take a seat, I’ll be right back.”
He takes a seat on your couch, hands in his lap, looking around the room again. That’s when he notices the mantelpiece, covered in photos and newspaper clippings, all in ornate frames.
Not of your family - of him. They’re all of him.
Taking pride of place in the middle of the mantelpiece is a picture from several years ago.
“Don't worry John, it's just a camera. All I'm going to do is take a picture of just the two of us. I promise it won't hurt.”
He's sat on your lap, your arms around him, holding him tightly, protectively, a smile on your face.
He’s smiling too. He’s happy. He’s with you.
They took you from me.
“Here we go,” your return snaps him back to reality, his eyes softening as he notices the glass of milk in your hand and a plate of cookies in your other, settling it down on the coffee table in front of him.
It’s such a sweet gesture.
You take a seat in a nearby armchair, “It’s so wonderful to see you again.”
After all these years, you’re still this beacon of absolute kindness.
“Do I call you John or Homelander?”
“John.”
How did I forget how lovingly you said my name? How did I forget you?
“I’m so proud of you, you’ve done so well. And look at you, you’re The Homelander! Leader of the Seven!”
His lower lip quivers, trying to keep himself together but it’s proving harder. Your praise comes from a place of pure love, something he’s never experienced or at least, he can’t remember experiencing.
“I see you’ve noticed the mantel. I know I must seem mad but I’ve been following your progress.”
You cared about me, you care about me, it’s all genuine.
“You were so young when I last saw you, with that lovely little smile.”
You reach out to take his hand but he pulls away, only so he can take off his glove. It looks so small in his, he knows if he squeezes just a little, all your bones would be crushed to dust.
But he won't.
“The things we did. Oh John, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I didn’t do anything to save you. I should've stood up to Vogelbaum, I should've protected you."
Saved him, protected him - the regret is written all over your face.
They regretted their actions too, only after he reminded them. Then they apologised but it was too late for them, maybe it’s still too late for you.
He squeezes your hand, trying to comfort you.
“You know, I think about you every day. I wanted to reach out but I figured Vogelbaum would have any attempt at contact blocked, especially from me. All because I chose to be human.”
Human. They were human too and they tortured me.
It’s clear that is a sore subject for you, nowhere near as painful for him but the fact it makes you sad somehow makes him feel better. It shows that you cared.
“They fired me for ‘interfering with the experiment’ but how could I not?! You were scared, you were crying and they left you all alone in that horrid room.”
The bad room.
“I couldn’t just leave you there to cry yourself to sleep. So I volunteered to take the night shift. Do you remember… remember the first time?”
His jaw tightens, desperately searching his mind for even the tiniest hint of a recollection yet all of the torment he was subjected to has buried everything deeper.
“You were terrified that I was going to hurt you, your eyes glowed red and you trembled. I knew you didn’t want to hurt me but you would if you had to.”
You understood.
“It took you a few minutes to realise I wouldn’t hurt you - I think it was the books under my arm that convinced you I wasn’t a threat.”
A single flash - “Would you like me to read you a story?”
“I sat down on your bed, you sat on my lap and we read story, after story, after story. Until you didn’t want me to read anymore, you just wanted me to hold you. So I did exactly that.”
He desperately wants to remember, he needs to remember.
“Then Vogelbaum found out, I must have forgotten to turn the cameras off and I was removed from the project. I should’ve fought for you, I should’ve marched right back in there and demanded to take you. But I didn’t.”
But you’re here now. They’re all dead but you’re still here.
“I forgive you,” it slips out of his mouth, however, this time it’s heartfelt. He means this without malice.
You’re the parent he’d always wanted, living in a house he always dreamed of, serving him milk and cookies like he’s still that young boy you cared about.
Maybe it wasn’t too late, maybe there could be something here, born from the ashes of your past sin and his trauma.
Sniffling, you wipe away your tears, tightening your grip on his hand. When the smile returns, it’s affectionate and all for him.
“I want you to know, John. I need you to know, that you’ll always have a place here and in my heart."
#homelander#homelander fanfiction#homelander x reader#antony starr#the boys#the boys spoilers#homelander x gn reader#homelander x gn#season 4 spoilers#the boys season 4 spoilers
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Heyyyyy!!!
If you are up for it, I'd love to see you write a Silco x Reader Story🙏🏻
Reader was like an older Sibling to Powder, Vi, Mylo and Clagger, making sure the kids were always okay. So that day, when almost everyone died and Silco took in Powder/Jinx, Reader went with them to keep an eye on Jinx. They turn more into a Parental Figure over time for her. Reader and Silco hated each other at first but tried to remain civil for Jinx. Over time feelings developed and both are in denial. So basically Enemies to Lovers.
Also Reader takes care of like the Bar, since they have already worked there when Vander was still alive. [Either behind the counter as a Bartender or as like Security]
Idc if its Fluffy or Angsty or smutty or smth!
I just need more Silco x Reader🙏🏻😭
at home (silco x reader)
words: 1517
genre(s): fluff, angst (i think..)
warnings: none
n/a: im sooo happy!!! thank u so much for requesting me!! this is my first request and i'm kinda nervous about it! i hope you like it and enjoy it a little!! i did my best!! want to remember that english isn't my first language, so im sorry if there are spelling or grammar mistakes, but this also helps me to improve :]
You were twenty years old when it all happened. When Mylo and Claggor died and Vi ran away after all the tragedy trying to rescue Vander from Silco's hands. You were the oldest of the three sisters, always under your care, even though you allowed them some freedom for their “missions” you always kept an eye on your sisters, in case it was necessary to get them out of some trouble.
That day, you went to help your brothers get Vander back, making Powder promise not to move from the basement. When the whole mess happened, you were barely aware of whatever was going on. One of your arms had been trapped under the rubble and you heard Powder's distant cries for Vi to come back for her. As best you could, you pulled yourself together, pushed away the debris over your arm and made your way to find the youngest of your sisters, the one that sounded closest. The crying seemed to be weaker, and when you looked up Silco had his arms around her as she hugged him, right next to Vander's lifeless body. You approached cautiously, brow furrowed at the whole unfamiliar situation.
“Stay away from her” you addressed Silco with a firm voice and furrowed brows. He did so without complaint, looking at you, keeping his composure and probably waiting for a move on your part that never came. Powder turned to look at you, her blue eyes brimming with tears. She hugged your legs, and before you knew it, you were both leaving with Silco and his people.
Seven years later you decided to take Vander's place in “The Last Drop”. Silco “signed it over” to you while he took one of the rooms to be his office. You were a little grateful that he would let you carry on the legacy of the one he once considered his brother.
You poured one last drink before Jinx sat down on one of the stools and rolled your eyes as you watched her turn in on herself. “Get your feet off the stool if you're going to be sitting here” you scolded her as you cleaned one of the glasses and poured her the juice she always asked for. “Thank you~” she thanked taking a sip from the straw. “I've been working on one of those grenades I showed you, and even though it explodes poorly, it's getting more and more powerful!” she explained somewhat excitedly as she looked at you with a slight smile. During all these years your sister had grown more than you would have liked. Sometimes nostalgia hit you, and all you could think about was how much older she had gotten and how rebellious and uncontrollable she had become.
Mylo and Claggor's death and Vi's abandonment left some aftereffects on your sister. Jinx was the name she had decided to adopt after Vi called her that name before abandoning her to her fate without even knowing if you were alive. Together with Silco you had raised her, and although you always tried to take her on a healthy and untroubled path, she ended up paying more attention to Silco than to you.
During all these years your vision of Silco was changing, and all the resentment and anger you had towards him, had been loosening when you saw the love and effort he put in wanting to take care of your sister. Your attitude towards him became more passive, and his attitude towards you became sweeter and more protective. You both had your sister, Jinx, as your priority.
“Be careful with those gadgets or someday your finger will explode.” you joked with your sister as you leaned your elbows on the bar to look at her. “I do know how to build inventions, sis, not like you” she joked with you before getting a tap on her shoulder from you. You rolled your eyes letting out a light chuckle. “By the way, Silco wants to see you” he spoke as he rubbed his shoulder with a pout. You frowned and sighed. “You take care of the drinks for a while then” you stepped out from behind the bar, you watched out of the corner of your eye as Jinx hopped over the bar to tend to the customers and scolded her for it before walking up to Silco's office.
You felt your heart beating stronger and stronger as you got closer to Silco's office. Since a few days ago your vision of the man who had given (somehow) shelter to you and your sister, apart from starting to respect him, perhaps your feelings towards him had taken a different direction, a more romantic one. Every night you told yourself that it was wrong, if you thought about it, it was against your morals and principles to like Silco, so you tried to hold back that feeling as much as you could.
You knocked on the door, and after hearing a low “Come in”, you entered the room, allowing you to see Silco in his chair as usual and Sevika next to him. They both looked at you, and with a slight gesture, Silco had Sevika leave the room, closing the door behind her. You sat down in the chair in front of the table, sighing and making yourself comfortable as you noticed how her gaze was fixed on you.
“What is it this time, what has Jinx done to what-” you couldn't finish formulating the sentence Silco cut you off. “Your sister is out of jail” your back and your whole body started to bristle. “With the help of a Piltover enforcer.” You discovered that Vi had been arrested and sent to Stillwater. Seven years later she seemed to have gotten out. A confused feeling invaded your body. You were happy, your sister had been released. And at the same time you were filled with rage, she had abandoned you and your sister. Then came the feeling of guilt, you were the oldest, much older than them, and you had let your sister be arrested, you had not fought for her. You swallowed and immediately got up from the couch. “Don't let Jinx know. Not yet, at least.” you left the room without even looking or listening to what Silco would have to tell you.
. . . . . .
Later that night, having just closed the bar and with only the music to keep you company, you finished putting the last chairs back on the tables and mopping the floor. Before you even went to sleep you decided to pour yourself a shot of whiskey. You sat on the freshly cleaned bar and, with your mother's favorite song playing in the background, you thought about everything. Your parents, your sisters, brothers, Vander, Silco, everything. The alcohol scratched your throat as you thought about how you were going to confront Vi at some point, what you would say to her, how she would be, how she would react to seeing who you were with. Maybe she would understand you if she realized you were doing it all for Jinx. Maybe she would martyr you if she knew about your feelings for Silco.
“May I have some?” a voice from behind you shuddered. Turning slightly to grab a glass, you saw Silco planted behind you. You nodded wordlessly, pouring for him as well and watching as he took a long sip. He looked back at you. “Why the long face?” he asked. You laughed wryly. “As if you didn't know” you replied clicking your tongue. You didn't want to talk down to him, but your feelings at that moment were what they were. He seemed to understand, he didn't add a word.
He set the glass down on the bar and one of your hands rested on your shoulder, lightly trailing down your arm. “She's going to understand.” he simply said. You shook your head, also dropping the glass and looking sideways at him. “She's not going to understand. She can't. I don't blame her. I'm a horrible sister.” you sighed. You felt like your eyes were going to release tears at any moment. You noticed Silco's rough hand touch yours, embrace yours with his fingers and with his thumb caress the back of your hand. You let yourself be touched. “We should have left, Silco. We don't belong here. It's not our place. I should have taken Pow-” you couldn't finish your sentence Silco had crashed his lips to yours. You couldn't even react when he broke away. You looked at him still dumbfounded.
“If she doesn't understand, we're going to make her understand. But don't you ever, ever, ever say again that you don't belong here. You do. You belong by my side,” and when he finished speaking you couldn't help but kiss his lips back. Your heart had just exploded like a bomb, and Silco had detonated it. There were probably going to be repercussions, surely none of this was going to go well, but for the first time, when you were dancing in his arms, you felt at home again.
#arcane#silco x reader#silco#jinx#vi#jinx arcane#vi arcane#vander#vander arcane#arcane x reader#x reader#arcane imagine#arcane headcanon#character x reader#jinx x reader#arcane vi#imagine#arcane silco#sevika arcane#sevika
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A new ladder - Reader x Curly
BEFORE I START
Yes, another story of Curly. What can i do? I love him.
THIS IS ALL INSPIRED BY THIS AWESOME ARTIST THAT I FOUND ON TIKTOK
btw the curly of this story will kook like this so you can already imagine him.
The user is ladonb.kokosa
PLEASE GO CHECK THEIR ART ITS WONDERFUL
That being said. Lets get start with
Part 1 - Next
"Cryostasis ended"
"His vital signs are stable"
"Who could it be?"
"Disinfect the wounds"
"There are no more survivors"
"They authorized us to give him the implant."
The man could hear several voices in the distance, he saw silhouettes, shadows, he couldn't distinguish the people around him.
He felt them putting a mask on him to anesthetize him, and everything went dark again.
When he woke up, he saw a woman checking his signs, and he was astonished to recognize her despite some of her physical changes.
She was his fiancée, the woman he was supposed to marry after that trip.
Why did she look like that? She seemed older, but in his sigth, she remained beautiful.
He made some sounds to get her attention, causing her to turn and look at him. She approached and pressed something on his neck.
Curly: "Linda..."
Linda: "...No... Tell me it's not you..."
The woman immediately stepped back, covering her mouth, unable to believe what she was seeing.
She didn't recognize the man laying in that bed in front of her, and she prayed so hard that he wasn't the man she was going to marry, but the fact that he recognized her confirmed her fear.
He could understand the terror on her face, but he didn't know there was something else he didn't know.
She took a deep breath and set her fear aside, sitting next to the man.
Linda: "Curly... If it really is you..." she said, still holding out a small hope that it wasn't him, "You were cryogenically frozen for 20 years... They rescued you because the Tulpar re-entered orbit near Earth before running out of energy, they were able to detect it and bring it back without causing damage, and that's how they found you inside... You have been in the hospital for two weeks today..."
He wanted to laugh as if what he was being told was a bad joke, it couldn't have been that long, right?
But looking closely at her, the small wrinkles now on her face and the few gray hairs she had showed her that she was real.
Linda: "They didn't find any more survivors and... The same press has taken care of paying your medical expenses because they want to hear your story... You have an implant in your neck so you can speak, a voice box, you have to press it if you have difficulties but in a while you won't need to do it anymore... and they did a skin graft... Including some prosthetics..."
She carefully took the prosthetics of his arms and raised them so he could see them, Curly felt like a completely different being.
Linda: "I recommend that you ask for what you want now because... As soon as they find out you're awake... They're going to bombard you with questions and the press will come here, they won't show any mercy."
The man tried to raise the prosthesis and pressed his implant on his neck to be able to speak.
Curly: "What about us?"
Linda: "Oh Curly..." she sighed, "When you didn't come back, I thought the worst... That you were dead... I just keep going with my life... I married someone else, I have two children... There is no longer an 'us'."
Before he could say anything else, a reporter peeked in and made a fuss upon seeing him awake; the place filled up in seconds.
The woman lowered her head and left the room in search of security to throw out the press, but the harassment didn't end there.
Curly chose to give them the answers to the questions they had by scheduling a meeting at the hospital.
Thanks to this, many people started donating things to him, including money to help him reintegrate into society.
But beyond the kindness of people, no one wanted to take care of him and help him, not even the nurses, they said they couldn't spend too much time near him.
Linda took care of him during his stay in the hospital while they fixed up his house that had been left abandoned.
Linda: "I found someone who can take care of you."
She commented while pushing his wheelchair, entering his house, that it looked completely renovated.
Linda: "I don't know if you still remember that I mentioned my younger sister, (Y/n), a couple of times?"
Curly: "The one who lived with your father?"
Linda: "That's right... My mom got full custody of her after a few years, and since then she has been living with her until she became independent shortly after turning 18..."
Curly: "She was 12 back then..."
Linda: "She recently lost her job, I thought it would be a good opportunity for her. She is very responsible, I promise."
When they arrived in the room, he could see a woman standing and looking at the paintings hanging on the walls.
He had never met his fiancée's sister, but he had heard many stories about her, about how her father unjustly gained custody by labeling their mother as crazy, and since then they had fought to get the girl back.
He had been struck by how incredibly different she was from her sister; you two didn't seem related at all.
Linda: "Good thing you were already here," she mentioned with a smile to catch your attention.
When you turned to look at them, Curly didn't expect such seriousness from you towards your older sister.
"...Thank you for the job opportunity, I will do my best to help you," you mentioned, looking at the man, ignoring the woman.
Linda: "Let me show you where everything is-"
"I've already been getting familiar with the place, it's not necessary, you can go."
Linda: "At least let me tell you which medications you should-"
"You have already sent me a message with clear instructions. I can do this, Lin."
Curly: "You should be more respectful to your older sister."
Upon hearing him speak, you turned to look at him again, without any expression.
"...Lin"
Linda: "I'll leave, there is no problem. I'm sure you've already memorized everything to the letter. If you have any problem, don't hesitate to call me."
She indicated, she didn't want to make a scene and left without even saying goodbye to either of them.
"...So you are Curly... It's a pleasure to meet you, I hope we get along well."
You had already made a bad first impression on Curly by treating the love of his life so poorly.
"Lin left your pill organizer with me, and gave me the schedule for them, it's time for the first pill."
You took a bottle and opened it to take a pill, causing the man to tense up a bit as he remembered moments when he was given his painkillers.
Noticing his nervousness, you tilted your head somewhat confused and went to get something to drink so he could take the pill.
What a surprise he got when you brought him a cup of chocolate along with the pill.
"When I was little... I didn't know how to swallow pills, I would choke, so I would bite them... My dad used to give me pills with chocolate milk so I wouldn't have a bad taste in my mouth, don't you like the taste of the pills? These can be very bitter..."
He thought it was very kind of you to consider that, immediately regretting having judged you without knowing anything about you.
You helped him take the pills, giving him chocolate to drink slowly, it really helped with the bitter taste.
Maybe... you weren't so bad.
#A new ladder mouthwash#mouthwash#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing x reader#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#captain curly x reader#curly x reader#mouthwashing curly
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Could you do a story where Sergei is tough, but also overprotective of the protagonist, pls?
I love your stories
A/N: ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. I am so glad you requested this because lately I've been obsessed with sergei and have been thinking of a way to make a small fic about his toxic self so you requesting this gave me an idea! Thank you so much anon! It might be a little different from your request though but the tough part as well as overprotectiveness is still there, just more dark themes. I hope you don't mind that though, I just feel like it fits more with his character.
YOU'RE MINE, ALRIGHT? — sergei kravinoff
note: I do not own this man because he owns himself, periodt. This is made purely out of entertainment purposes!
warning!: violence, age-gap, (somewhat) toxic relationship, little blood, swearing, sexual harassment, mentions of death, 18+, and sergei being hot (man is a warning himself) mdni
__________________
You were only taking your nightly stroll in the forest while your lover was in the cabin somewhere in the woods that he made you move in after knowing each other for a while. Your relationship with him was not really ideal but you loved him with all your heart and vice versa.
Your lover might not show it but he cares about you more than he let on. It worried you for quite some time now that maybe you weren't good enough for him, you refused to do such things that he called 'the hunt'. You weren't prepared to do something so unnerving. Surprisingly, he agreed to let you prepare after a bit of arguing and silent treatments of course. Still, you thought that he might leave you because you have never done anything for him other than sit still and be pretty.
But you were so wrong.
Sighing as an owl hoots through the trees and crickets sounding in your surroundings, you now began to walk towards the path to the cabin. You've basically just walked straight from here to there so it wasn't that hard to find your way back.
Noises of leaves crushing alerted you as you walked down the path. Multiple voices sounded from the right side of you but before you could hide, a bright flashlight flickered towards your figure, blinding you.
Hissing a bit from the bright light, you blinked your eyes before your vision focused to four males who looked about a couple years older than you. An ache appeared in your stomach as you felt like you had a bad feeling about the situation.
"Well, well. Look at what we have here." One of the men whistled as his eyes looked at your frame up and down.
"Quite a looker, right?" The other one on his right licked his lips in anticipation.
"Think we could use her for entertainment?" Another one from behind snickered. As if a light bulb appeared on top of their heads, their eyes lit up dangerously making you step back in fear as you heard their conversation.
No, please don't.
"Don't worry, doll. This will only last for the whole night." The man in the middle reassured but it was anything but reassuring. Before you could sprint off, one of them had already grabbed you by the arms, arms tightening around you as you continued to struggle.
Fear was evident in your eyes as tears started to prickle in them. This cannot be happening, you thought. You were a bit far from home so you couldn't scream for your lover because of the distance. You were now sobbing as the men took their time in touching you. Hands ripping off your shirt leaving you in your bra as well as your lover's boxers that you wore since you've used all of yours already.
You could feel their hands groping each part of your body before they finally decided to spread your legs. You were struggling to close it because multiple pair of hands were pinning you down to the ground next to a tall tree.
Sergei, that was the only thing you could think of.
Sergei, my love.
Sergei, please.
Save me.
"SERGEI!" You suddenly screamed out your lover's name making the men flinch from your voice.
"Fucking hell—this bitch is so loud!"
"Scream all you want, love. But no one ain't gonna hear you here." They all laughed as you kept sobbing. Why must this happen? Your bra was long forgotten as you tried to get your hands free but alas you cannot. The man between your legs then lowered his head towards one of your breasts but before he could latch on it a loud thump interrupted them.
"You dare.." A deep voice growled out as the four men stopped what they were doing. They slowly looked up and saw a very muscular man that stalked over them. His eyes glowing in a yellow serpent like color, his forearms hardening, as well as a very dark and murderous look on his face. The man menacingly stalked towards them as the men were quick to scramble up to their feet fixing their clothes before sprinting out.
The man immediately chased them and since all four were running at the same direction, he jumped high and landed in front of them to stop them from escaping.
"You dare to break and enter my forest, not only that.." He continued his words from before. Grabbing one of them by the neck he tossed him to a tree, hard. Making a sickening crack to be heard in the air, causing the others to look at the man in fear.
"You hurt what is mine."
You woke up in a familiar room and the warmth surrounding your from the fireplace. You were confused, weren't you just in the forest taking a nightly stroll while your lover was busy?
Just then your head started to ache as you remembered what happened. You hugged yourself as you now began to sob quietly, you were harassed, sexually to the point that you were ripped off your clothing. It made you feel disgusted with yourself, what would Sergei think of you now?
Footsteps sounded from behind you as you continued to wrap your arms around yourself hoping to shield yourself from the exposure from the world. Hot steaming food was suddenly placed in front of you as you blinked from surprise before looking away, not wanting to consume any food.
"Eat." It was your lover. Sergei plopped down on the spot beside you taking the spoon topped with food from the plate before putting said plate on the drawer beside the bed. He grabbed you by the chin before gently forcing you to look in his direction. This gave you no choice but to eat the food on the spoon he held up.
This continued for a few moments until you finished your food. The silence was deafening and it bothered you but it seems like your lover doesn't see that.
"I'm sorry."
Sergei paused from cleaning up the table before looking at you, confusion evident in his eyes despite his face unchanging.
"O—other men touched me..y—you probably don't want a woman like me a—anymore. I mean, I wouldn't as well.." You coarsed out as tears began to fall from your eyes as you look down in shame. You couldn't look at him in the eyes, you were so ashamed of yourself, hell even disgusted. You felt so dirty as you could still feel those men's hands all over you, tongues licking your neck, fabric tearing away from your skin. It made you feel ill.
Suddenly your face was gently pulled up letting you make eye contact with a pair of dark brown eyes that was in a fixed scowl but if you looked closely, it softened the moment you both made eye contact.
Sergei didn't know how to comfort you as growing up, all he knew was violence. But he did the only thing he knew he could do.
He kissed you.
"I'll make their hands disappear and make you remember mine, instead."
#aaron taylor johnson#aaron taylor johnson x reader#sergei kravinoff#sergei kravinoff x reader#kraven the hunter#kraven x reader
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Kiss it Better Pt:2
Curly x Reader
AN: Holy shit I did NOT expect all the love and support from the original like god damn! People begging for a part 2 and everything (I’ll make sure to tag those who asked for one at the bottom) Like oh my god thank you guys so much! This means the WORLD to me! As a disabled person trying to make his medical issues more accurate it means so much that yall love it and how I write in general! Thank you!
SUM: You and Anya were busy dealing with changing Curly’s wrappings together. Sharing stories, and just trying to stay positive. That’s when you just had to ask. What’s going on between her and Jimmy?
Warnings: Jimmy, sexual assault, Anya sharing her trauma so pls take care of yourself, medical gore, medical situations, light violence,
“Thank you again for handling Curly’s medication. I’m sorry I just-“ Anya would try to explain again how sorry she was that she was struggling to do her job. A job you could never blame her for. She’s been through a traumatic event of the ship crashing, and already had to try and save a near corpse. She deserves to breathe.
“Anya it’s fine, really. I’m his romantic partner as well. It be weird if I didn’t pick up some responsibility and tried to take care of him. You also deserve time to rest. You’ve done so much for him, and saved his life. Give yourself more credit. It’s not a sin to ask for help.” You would try and comfort her, as you would grab the fresh bandages for Curly.
He needed a lot of them, and they had to be changed out relatively often. He’s basically just exposed meat after all. The risk of infection was high, which you were wondering how he didn’t even catch any yet, so he needed alot of attention and care.
If only Pony Express had packed more, because the med bay was running out of them fast. Very very fast. Might be only able to maybe re wrap him a few more times now. Had you terrified because as much as you wanted to take care of him you had to leave some bandages for the rest of the crew. In case of another emergency.
You wish you could be doing more.
“We’re going to undress you. Is that alright?” Anya would ask Curly, who in return would give two blinks to indicate that he consented to being stripped. Was gonna have to be done but it was still so kind of Anya to still ask before hand.
The two of you would soon get to work on changing out his bandages. A very slow, careful, tedious job. One that normally took over a hour to do properly. So it’s time to kill some of that empty space.
“Ya know, this isn’t the first time over had to wrap up a certain someone because they got hurt. I remember a time when we were at a Ski resort with his family. Someone wanted to try a path that was meant for experts and before you know it someone’s returning to the lodge with his leg bone sticking out of his pants.”
Anya gave a little ‘oh my’ as you just laughed at the memory. Curly just adored sports. Especially the winter variety. You felt so blessed that he had a job that paid so well. Well enough that the two of you, and his own family sometimes, could go and enjoy vacations like that.
You wonder if the two of you will ever see the snow again.
“That sounds rather nice, minus the whole breaking his leg. To share a cabin together with someone. Cuddle for warmth together by the fire place. Sounds really nice.” She would speak dreamily. As if she knew it was simply that. A dream. Something that will never happen again. No matter how hard she tried.
Like something was wrong with her.
“I bet you’ll get that moment. When we escape here you’ll have a flooding of men and women coming your way. The brilliant woman who managed to fight death and win. Again and again. The most brilliant woman to ever live.” You would praise her, as you were very mindful of Curly’s catheter. As if that needed to be messed with.
“Yeah…..Maybe……” Anya didn’t really seem to actually respond. Was like she was just saying words for the sake of words. Had you wondering.
Even before the crash she had just started acting off one day. From being a cheerful woman who was gentle and full of smiles, to being so quiet and scared by the littlest of sounds. Like she expected someone to jump from around the corner and attack her. Any feeling of safety and comfort vanished.
You were worried.
“Say, Anya-“ You began to speak, while disposing the bandages safely into the bio hazard bag. “-Is everything ok? I mean duh we’re not doing to hot with being, ya know, crashed and all. But besides that. You just seem…..different.”
Anya seemed to not hear you. She simply worked on checking over Curly’s body. Hunting down any infections, looking for possible bed sores, monitoring his healing, and getting ready to do the ever so gentlest of sponge baths.
Anya did always get in the zone whenever someone was hurt. You figured she didn’t catch what you said because of it.
So repeated yourself, as you stood next to her. Impossible to miss what you were asking, as you would help Curly sit up and just move his joints to better reach with the sponge.
The only sounds in that room were Curly’s whines of discomfort. Whines to indicate truly how much pain he was in when even the pain killers can numb it.
“Anya….I know you can hear me. Is everything alright? Not to be rude but I’m kinda asking you a question.” You would be gentle, but she still couldn’t help but looked distressed.
“Anya what’s-“ You would reach a hand out, to comfort her, but the second it was raised towards her she would immediately flinch. Her startled reaction ended up even making her drop Curly’s leg on the table.
Oh that’s gotta hurt.
For a fleeting moment you put Anya on the back burner, and just focused your attention on comforting Curly. How he gave a weak sob from the intense pain.
“Shhhh I know Curly Fry. I know. It’s gonna be ok. It was an accident. You know she didn’t mean it. Shhh.” You would kiss his forehead, as Curly had a muscle spasm through his body from the intense shock to his system. So exhausted and in so much pain.
“It’s gonna be ok. I promise. I love you so much. Just think about our future. How we will get off this ship, and have that family. Have our own baby-“
The moment you said baby, that’s when Anya finally cracked.
Her hands were now covering her face, as she just broke down into sobs. Sobs that sounded so hoarse. Like she’s done it so many times that her body was just abused from it. Left you so worried and confused.
What the hell is going on here?
“Anya, what’s wrong? What did I say?” You would gently guide her to a chair, and worked on stroking her hair. Giving her as much comfort as you would to Curly. The same gentle love as he would get. Love she deserved.
It took a while for her to catch her breathe, and you didn’t rush it because it really seemed she needed it, but her own trembling body was finally able to quite down.
“I need to tell you something. I need to tell you something about Jimmy-“
You were quick to kneel down infront of her, and was ready to take in every last word she was going to say. Maybe what secrets she held could finally explain why the hell you all were crashed here. Why Jimmy crashed you all.
“Jimmy ra-“
That’s when the door opened.
As if that bastard had a sixth sense for whenever people were talking about him. That same annoyed expression, same sneer, same empty eyes.
All three of you kinda froze in time now. Looking at him, as he looked back at you all. Scanning you. As if judging to figure out what was being said before entering.
“Hey….Captain….” You swallowed, as you would return to standing. Anya herself remained in her chair, with her head down. Didn’t seem she trusted herself in showing any expressions right now.
“What were you guys talking about?” He asked, as he seemed slightly on edge. Like he hasn’t been sleeping well or had too much caffeine. Just this tension of paranoia was in the air. Like he was worried about something.
“Just about the bandages. We’re starting to run low, and Anya is just getting worried about having enough.” Wasn’t a complete lie. The best lies were the ones with truth sprinkled in.
“Of course he’s wasting our supplies.” He scoffed, before walking over to the table. You were trying to give Curly some respect with grabbing something to cover him up with, but it was like Jimmy wouldn’t let you. The stare he gave you, when you grabbed the clean hospital gown, made you just freeze in place.
It was just so full of hate.
It was just so full of disgust.
It was just cruelty in dark eyes.
It was just focused on you. As if Anya didn’t even exist right now. Like she meant nothing to him. Nothing but the wind in the air. Something you don’t even bother in registering every day. Like how you breathe in air in your lungs.
You don’t notice until it’s gone.
“Has he been given his medication?” He would ask you, as his hands would be firm on the bed side. Just seeming to assert his dominance with standing over the man. Like some got over the little people.
“Yes Jimmy. He’s been medicated. We are actually in the middle of washing him. It would be nice if there was some privacy-“ You tried to gently hint at, only for it yo fall on deaf ears.
"The crash really did do a number on you. You don’t even have a dick anymore. Just holes huh-?” Jimmy would scoff, as that was your final straw. You would give Jimmy a hard hip bump, and quickly covered Curly up. To give him dignity and respect.
“Hey-! Watch it! Don’t think because you are Curly’s little eye candy doesn’t mean you can go pushing people around-“ Jimmy would bark at you.
You didn’t feel fear.
Jimmy was messing with YOUR man now. Curly deserved dignity and respect. He doesn’t deserve to be called a ‘set of holes’ no way in hell. No one deserved that and ESPECIALLY not Curly.
“Will you just shut up?! What the hell are you even doing here?! Aren’t you the Captain now? Captains are suppose to be doing whatever it takes to help the crew. All you’ve been doing is walking around and insulting everyone! It’s like you don’t want us to be saved. Be a Captain and take some responsibility already-!”
The anger that he had for you was terrifying. You swore it was like a switch. He suddenly seemed taller, bigger, angrier, more intense. You felt like you were shrinking more and more. Like you would melt into a puddle under that heated stare.
But you refused to.
For Curly.
“Listen here you-“
SLAP
You smacked him across the face. Was like the world went mute. No one was so much as breathing. Just the stares of shock from Anya and Curly.
“Get. Back. To. WORK.”
You ordered, and he listened.
He would hold his red cheek, and walked away like a dog with its tail between its legs. As if he was all talk and no bite. That he couldn’t bring himself to be more than an angry voice.
Someone needed to keep him in his place.
“Can this damn ship get any more hectic?” You sighed with your fingers to the bridge of your nose. Just trying to think clearly.
That’s when Anya found her voice.
“I’m pregnant.”
You opened your eyes wide, and was frozen in place.
Did you hear that right? No no. No way. Why would she be pregnant? How would she get pregnant? Who would get her…
“Oh my god.”
You slowly turned around to Anya with the puzzle pieces falling into place. You finally realized what had happened.
Jimmy never was a responsible man.
@meheheasasa @letmebedelutional @trashcansally @balanahala562
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#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fandom#mouthwashing fanfic#curly x reader#captain curly x reader#Captain curly#mouthwashing Anya#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing jimmy#tw jimmy#fuck you jimmy#x reader#I’m still so shocked you guys all wanted more#I hope you guys like it#I didn’t plan for a part two so like this might be a bit weird and messy#forgive me#but you gotta give the people what they want#hope yall like#thank you again for the support#means the world to me#it really does#thank you#thank you so much#yall are wonderful#writers on tumblr#writer#writer on tumblr#part 2
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Milk with cookies and bedtime stories [Batmom x Damian Wayne]
Synopsis: It was just a few months ago that Damian was included in the Wayne family. He still didn’t like you, but you tried so hard to make him appreciate you. During a patrol, Damian got hurt and after Alfred took care of the little boy’s wounds, you surprised him with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk.
Characters: Damian Wayne and Reader [YOU]
A/N: I wrote this quickly. Hope you like. In this imagine, Batmom has been married to Bruce since he adopted Dick.
I want to apologize if there are any writing errors. I'm a Brazilian girl and I don't speak fluent English, so I may make some writing mistakes. Feel free to correct me.
I hope you read, like and feel how cute Damian is.
Requests are open
MASTERLIST
You were sitting on the kitchen stool, reading a fashion magazine while you waited for your husband to return from patrol.
Bruce forbade you to stay in the Batcave, as he was afraid that someone would break in and find you, alone and unprotected.
As soon as you felt the ground shake, it meant that the Batcave had opened and that Batman had arrived with his Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood and Nightwing.
You ran to the clock that gave access to the secret entrance to Batcave. The elevator quickly took you to where your children and husband were.
“Hey, my love. You got back before 5am!” You said, running up to Bruce Wayne. He still wore black clothes and was without a mask. Your husband didn’t respond. He was serious and had a worried expression on his face.
“A man dropped Damian from a three-story building .” Bruce said looking at the boy who was sitting next to Alfred.
You finally noticed Damian, whose face was bruised and his leg was bandaged. You walked over to the boy and knelt in front of him.
“I’m fine, Y/N. I fell on top of a car and didn’t break any bones.”
“Damian, darling, are you hurt?” You asked, looking into Bruce’s son’s green eyes.
You smiled, in a motherly way. Damian didn’t consider you a mother, unlike the other three boys who called you ‘mother’ and ‘mommy’ all the time. Your husband’s son only considered you as a stepmother, but that didn’t stop you from taking care of him as if he were your son.
“I’m going to run you a hot bubble bath. After Alfred takes care of you, I think you’ll want to relax in the warm water.”
“Thank you, Y/N, but I’m not your baby.” He said rolling his eyes and turning his face to look at Alfred.
“Damian!” Bruce warned his son. But you smiled at your husband, showing that everything was okay. You left the Batcave, heading back to the mansion to prepare Dami’s bath.
(…)
Damian was already in his room. You were heading to the boy's room, with a tray in your hand.
The clock said 2:32 am, but you were sure the boy hadn't slept yet. The Waynes used to sleep only when the sun came up.
Yout left hand knocked lightly on the wooden door with the boy's initials engraved on it. Ypur ears picked up a “you can come in”, authorizing you to enter Damian’s room.
“I came to see if you were okay, Dami.” You said, entering and closing the door behind your body. Your arms came off the tray on the bed, seeing that the boy was sitting on the mattress. “I brought milk and cookies, this will definitely make you feel better.”
“Why do you do these things, Y/N?” He asked, with a questioning look.
“I didn't understand. Don't you like what I do for you?”
“At first I thought you had a plan to win me over and then you would hate me for being Bruce's biological son.” He said, seeing you take a cookie and offer it to him.
“I would never do that. I love you, Dami, even if you don't like me. These things I do for you are normal motherly actions.”
“My mother didn’t do any of that. She only got cookies when she did something good.” He said, his eyes shining like he was going to cry.
“Oh baby. I know you don't consider me your mother and I don't want to force you into anything, but I want you to know that these things I do are because I love you.” You explained, smiling widely at him and drinking some milk. “Do you know what my mother did for me when I was hurt?”
“No.” He said, while devouring several cookies. “She also gave you cookies and milk?”
“Yes, and she also told me a bedtime story.” You argued, running your hand through the boy's hair. “I'll tell you a story.”
“I’m not four years old, Y/N” He murmured.
“Damian, you’re not old enough to hear a good story before bed.”
“OK. Just don't tell stories about princesses or ponies.”
“Clear. I'm going to tell the story of a boy called Dami. He was so brave and beautiful, he was a strong and fearless boy.” His lips formed a smile as he said the words. Damian's eyes were bright and sweet. “One day, he went to the forest to play with the birds and found a portal to a magical world.”
“Like Narnia?: He asked, completely interested in your story.
“Yes, but without the closet. The magical portal led to a kingdom full of witches, fairies, vampires and any magical creature you can imagine.”
“Even elves?” He questioned you again. Now Damian was lying in bed and you covered him with the blanket.
“Of course, elves can't be missed.” You said. Your heart filled with love and you almost cried when you saw the image of the boy who hated you six months ago totally interested in a bedtime story. “In that kingdom there was a crystal that served as oxygen for all beings there, but a terrible villain broke this crystal and stole its essence, leaving the world without magic.” Damian still had complete fun with your narration. “Then, the queen called Martha went and asked the brave Dami to hunt down the villain and recover the essence of the crystal.”
“And he did this?”
“Yes! Dami took a sword and shield and went out to the magical kingdom in search of the villain. He went to an ancient village in the kingdom called Gothym and met three knights named Grayson, Todd and Drake. They sent Dami to the mountains where he would find the villain.”
“And he found it?”
“He found it, but it was difficult. The villain was hiding in a ruined castle north of Gothym. Dami fought bravely with the villain and defeated him. Dami recovered the essentials of the crystal and in exchange, Queen Martha gave him a personal portal to return to the kingdom as often as he wanted. Dami was a brave hero and defeated the evil villain.” You told the story while running your hand affectionately through the boy's hair. “Did you like the story?”
“Yes, it was the best story anyone told me.”
“I'm glad you liked it, my love. If you want, I can tell you a story every night.”
“Todd would make fun of me if he knew.” He said, looking at you so intently that you knew he was embarrassed for having liked the story.
“I'm gonna tell you a secret. I told Dick, Jason and Tim stories for three years, but they didn't want to.”
“Did you tell Todd bedtime stories?” He asked loudly, as if it were some blasphemy.
“Of course, and he loved them all.”
“So I want to hear stories before bed.”
“I'll love telling you, along with a glass of milk and cookies. Good evening, Dami.” You said getting up from the bed. Your lips found the boy's forehead.
“Good night, mom.” He said, making you look surprised at him. “I can call you mom? Since Dick, Jason, and Tim call you Mom, I thought you might as well.”
“Of course, my dear. You can call me mother and I will call you my son.” Your arms wrapped around the body of the boy, your son. Love seemed to explode in your heart. “Good evening, my dear son.”
“Good nigh, mom.”
You gave Damian one last kiss on his forehead, before picking up the tray and taking it to the kitchen. After washing the dishes, you went to the master suite, the room shared between you and Bruce.
Your husband was lying on the king size bed, waiting for you. After showering and putting on your pajama, you laid down on the bed.
“Damian called me mom.” You said to Bruce, earning a smile from him.
“With bedtime stories, milk and cookies.”
“How did this happen?” He asked, setting aside the iPad he was using to hug you.
#imagine#insert reader#fanfiction#fic#fluffy#battinson x reader#bruce wayne x batmom#batmom#batmom x batkids#damian wayne x batmom#batman x batmom#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne x reader#reader#justice league x reader#tim drake x you#damian x you#batman x you#fanfic#batmam x damian#bruce wayne x reader wife#bruce wayne x son#batmom wife#tim drake x reader#jason todd#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#batfamily#batfam
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know your worth
a/n: thank you to the anon that requested thisss!! this is my first time around writing some angst for billie so it was actually a cool learning experience hehe. there will 100% be a part two to this.
part 2
request
pairing: billie eilish x reader
warnings: annngggst, toxic relationship, billie neglecting you, cursing, arguments.
summary: billie’s been neglecting you recently to the point of standing you up sometimes and you finally decide to say something about it.
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
you stood outside the restaurant you were supposed to meet billie outside of, in the rain, in the cold.
you had spent too long waiting for her to the point where you felt embarrassed when the waiters would check on you. you just decided to leave without grabbing anything to eat, making sure to leave an apologetic tip.
you finally called it when you opened up instagram after texting & calling relentlessly. you saw that she was partying with her friends on one of their stories. your look of disappointment was one that was hard to miss. tears started to form in your eyes when you realised your girlfriend either forgot about you or didn’t care at all. both were equally as painful.
you took an uber here as you & billie were going to drive back together in the car you two often shared when she wasn’t been escorted in limos. you had no time to wait for one so you whistled and called a taxi instead.
it took everything in you to hold back crying so that the poor taxi driver didn’t have to witness the mess you were.
while in the back of the taxi, you thought about how this all started in the first place.
billie had come home after a long year’s tour, you were waiting for her at the airport. it was pure bliss to feel her arms wrap around you again for the first time in a long time. you lifted her into the air and spun her around.
despite her being home from tour though, she still worked everyday. she spent time in the studio and it felt like days would never end. you did work too but you got home much earlier than she did. however, it was comforting knowing she would come straight home to you. you would greet her with home-cooked meals, already doing most of the housework. she was grateful at first, but then you noticed her mood started to change.
she started just going straight to bed, ignoring your meal that you had set up for the two of you. you would join her in bed but she’d shelter from any touch you tried to give her even if it was just a cuddle. you started suggesting date nights like movies but she always gave the excuse of being too tired. part of you felt horrible for feeling neglected as you know how hard she worked and if you were in her place, you’d be tired too.
you started to tell your friends about this. they made you see that you worked long days too despite coming home earlier, but you still made an effort. you had no idea why billie was suddenly acting this way.
even more pain came when you realised that she was free some nights, you just had no idea. she spent those nights partying with her friends, without you there. sometimes you’d even see her getting close to some other girl in a video your mutual friend took. you felt your heart break at the thought that maybe billie just outgrew you.
when you arrived home, you handed the cash to the driver, quickly making your way back to your apartment. you slammed the door behind you, leaning your back against it. you finally get the tears go, finding it harder to breathe.
you had gotten dolled up in hopes that she may finally choose you just for one night.
you ran into your shared bedroom, swinging open the closet door and grabbing a bag for yourself. you started packing some clothes just to last you a couple of nights, you rang one of your closest friends asking them if you could stay the night.
you heard them sigh at the other end of the phone, knowing they were holding back an “i told you so.” or maybe even an “about time.” you just weren’t in the mood to hear it. they understood that and just responded with an “of course you can stay.”
you felt humiliated that you allowed yourself to put up with it for as long as you did. you just loved billie too much to give up now. your relationship was hard work, you’d hate for it to become futile.
you just wanted the girl you fell in love with back. the girl that had an endless list of romantic gestures to surprise you with, the girl that used to write songs about you and perform them before she showed it to anyone else, the girl that loved you just as much as you loved her. you missed that side of billie, and you wondered if maybe that girl was too far gone.
you heard the door swing open, soft footsteps making their way across your apartment. you felt yourself freeze, fight or flight kicking in. for the first time in your life, you were scared of billie. not scared of what she might do but scared because it was practically like interacting with a stranger. you had no idea what she might say to the sight of you packing up to leave her.
would she be mad? would she let you go? would she try to fight? all those questions terrified you. the uncertainty scared the living daylights out of you.
you finished up packing your clothes just as she entered your bedroom.
“hey baby, what’s going on?” she asked, slurring her words a little bit. she was inebriated, of course she was. you didn’t answer her, making your way to the bathroom to grab your toiletries.
“baby.” she said, a bit more firm. you stuttered in your step when the nickname came out of her mouth but shook it away. she just looked confused at you when you chucked them into your bag.
“i’m done, bils.” you said, grinding your teeth as you zipped your bag shut. you walked to your bedside table to grab your chargers. “i’m done being treated like shit.”
“c’mon baby, i don’t treat you like shit.” she said, letting out a dry chuckle as a smile formed. “you’re being dramatic.”
“really?!” you said, angry. your tears started to form again, you tried to hold them back as you didn’t want to show weakness in front of her. “you fucking ditched me today, i was all alone in that restaurant waiting for you.”
her smile suddenly faded. she forgot. she didn’t care. you didn’t know.
“i’m so busy, baby. you can’t seriously expect me to be perfect and remember all our dates.” she tried to make up an excuse. you were hurt that she didn’t even apologise.
“busy enough to go to a party with your friends?” you snapped, aggressively shoving your charger into your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. “be so fucking for real right now, billie. you didn’t forget. you just don’t give a shit anymore.”
“oh fuck you!” she said, pointing at you. “if i didn’t give a shit about you, you wouldn’t even be here right now!” she yelled.
“wow. that shows me how fucking disposable income am then. i didn’t realise you saw me that way.” you said, walking past her and shoulder bumping her. “after everything i’ve done, how can you say that?!” you asked, turning around to look at her, standing in the living room.
you should have walked away, but given the fact that this is the most attention billie’s shown you, you wanted to stay and fight.
“you know what? you are disposable. i could have anyone! they’d be okay with me going out and partying.” she scoffed.
“yeah? well when you find someone that loves you just as much as i do despite you neglecting them, you let me know!”
“i will!” she said, walking closer to you. “i bet it won’t be hard.”
you laughed, anger seeping through your voice. “fuck you, billie. maybe you can go ask that girl you were grinding on at that party last week. tell me, did you sleep with her? is that why you’re being like this? did you cheat?”
“no, i didn’t. but maybe i should have, she was more fun than you’ll ever be. at least she wasn’t a damn shut in with no life.” she spat out.
you went quiet, did billie actually say that to you?
you were so hurt by her words, you thought you had been a good enough partner to her. maybe you weren’t enough for her, and the thought of that brought you to your breaking point.
“fuck…” you whimpered out, covering your mouth. “you’ve changed so much… you’re not the girl i fell in love with anymore…”
she scoffed at you, “well maybe i should’ve been this way all along. i feel good like this.”
“fine… be that way.” you said, turning around and twisting the door knob.
“you’re nothing without me! you love being useful to me” she called after you. “where are you gonna go?!” she asked.
“anywhere but here.” you slammed the door shut as you made your way out of your apartment, leaving the love of your life behind.
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
billie woke up the next morning, groaning with a pounding headache that she couldn’t seem to best. she didn’t remember much about the party last night— nor did she remember the argument you had.
she only remembered when she opened up your shared closet to get dressed and found the majority of your clothes missing.
“oh… oh fuck.” she said, grabbing her phone and immediately trying to call you. it went straight to unavailable. she started to send a few texts.
‘baby, baby, i’m so so sorry.’
‘please answer my calls.’
‘please call me.’
‘i’m so sorry, please forgive me. i didn’t mean it.’
she went straight to social media, trying to find you but noticing that you had blocked her on most of your accounts. she found herself starting to cry, all the regret building up in her chest.
her tears fell onto her phone as she searched for any way to contact you. she sat down on the bed you used to share, it still smelled like you. her head was in her hands, she was trying to figure out where you could have gone in hopes of going there and talking to you. but because she hadn’t been around you, she wouldn’t know which of your close friends or relatives would house you.
she had stopped her crying, making it her mission to find you today. she had gotten dressed and her muscle memory took over, swinging the fridge door open in hopes of finding some leftovers of one of your famous home-cooked meals that you would have tucked away. her tears started to fall again when she realised there was nothing there waiting for her.
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
it had been a week since you left your apartment. billie found it to be an incredibly insufferable week.
she had gotten home that week in a pissy mood, chucking her keys into the table beside the door and dumping her bag on the floor.
she had noticed that the apartment had changed, everything was suddenly clean. this past week, she hadn’t gotten the chance to clean anything up or do any chores. she heard running water from the kitchen and practically sprinted over there.
she found you placing the last dish onto the drying rack.
“baby.” she said, a relieved sigh leaving her lips. “i’m so glad you’re okay.”
“i’m just here to pick up the rest of my stuff.” you said, sighing a less relieved sigh, it was more of a disappointed one. you had hoped to be gone before she returned.
“you don’t have to go, please. we can work this out.” she begged you. you wouldn’t even turn to look at her.
“we can’t. not with the way you’ve handled this. there’s nothing to work out.” you finally turned around to look at her. your eyes looked tired and your face drooped in sadness, she still thought you were incredibly beautiful.
“but i’m sorry… i’m just so sorry.” she stepped towards you but you walked past her into the bedroom you used to call yours.
“sorry’s just not going to cut it, billie.” you said, picking up a box of your things. “i don’t think you understand how much you’ve hurt me. the things you said? they really pushed me over the edge. i thought that maybe i was the terrible person. but i was wrong, you were treating me horribly.”
“i can change, i promise.” billie cried out, trying to stop you from leaving.
“please move, bils.” you asked her, your eyes going soft. the nickname made her weak to her knees, she loved when you called her that. she stepped aside, sniffling softly.
“please… give me the chance to change.” she walked after you.
“i believe you can change, billie. i know you can. i just don’t think i can stick around for it.” you sighed, opening the door with your free hand. “maybe the next person that you find yourself with will reap the benefits of your change.” you said, walking out the door and closing it behind you.
she fell to her knees as the door closed. from that moment onwards, she vowed to change for the better. but she wanted the person that reaped the benefits to be you.
and you only.
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
a/n: part 2 with billie redemption arc incomingg!
#billie eilish#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x female reader#billie eilish x f!reader#billie eilish angst#billie eilish x reader angst
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