#some of us are still grieveing
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angelaslavendergirls · 8 months ago
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Don’t ever bring leatin up in front of me. That’s like talking about my dead relative whom I haven’t finished mourning yet. The dead still roam I feel their warmth tingling on my arms when I stare at the sea
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arttsuka · 1 month ago
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Some past fiddlestan? (Like Ford just went through the portal. He gone now. Past. Yk?)
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The mystery misery yaoi
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seleneprince · 4 months ago
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The more I go over Rhysand and Tamlin's interactions in the books the more it seems to me that Rhysand acts like Tamlin's scorned ex that can't accept he's moved on from him. Like, not even Feyre thinks so much about him and she's the actual ex, the one Tamlin hurt deeply.
And yet, we have Rhysand going out of his way to torment Tamlin and insert himself in his life when the man doesn't even spare him a thought, as far as we know.
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uncanny-tranny · 8 months ago
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Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.
I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.
He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.
I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.
When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.
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imavikingo · 2 months ago
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forestgreenlesbian · 8 months ago
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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harryshomebaby · 25 days ago
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all of a sudden today everything has kind of just gone silent in my corner of the internet and my friends aren’t on their phones anymore and now im alone
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starheirxero · 8 months ago
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People are either in denial or refusal to accept Ruin still being evil.
I'M PEOPLE 💔💔💔
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gingermintpepper · 4 months ago
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On that trojan war au thing you're writing. 1. What are the tags for it, cause I'm super interested! And would love to read what you have so far! 2. "And Odysseus is a much grimmer darker man due to his home being one of the places that were first swallowed up by Erebus" - I wanna know more about this. Please tell me more.
Oh , wow, I'm so flattered! I'm very happy it sounds appealing to you <33 This work is a huge passion project of mine so I'm always glad to talk more and more about it, especially since there are many aspects occurring in the background (such as the alternate fates of the main players of the Trojan Conflict) which I cannot properly cover or even explain within the events of the novel itself.
That said: 1) If you mean tags as in ao3 - unfortunately, this work isn't on ao3 my friend :( As I said above, these are elements and concepts in the greek mythology based-fantasy novel I'm currently writing (the concept of which I outlined here in the introductory post of my novel concept!) As for wanting to read whatever writing I currently have available: I currently have three fics available on ao3 that are written in my Pursuing Daybreak verse!
The Prince and Princess series deal with a young Apollo and Artemis and the many consequences they face after Apollo has slain Python. The two works uploaded right now are Exeunt Phoebus Apollo which covers the murder trial of Python and Manent Apanchomene Artemis which covers the intense feelings of helplessness and alienation Artemis experiences after Apollo returns from his banishment and is completely changed. Both of these have themes of family, grief and relationship exploration at their heart.
The third bit of writing I have up is quite outdated but does cover the immediate aftermath of Hyacinthus' death. It's called A Petal Falleth and features Apollo making one of those Big Silly Decisions that have completely unintended but extremely important consequences: namely, instead of the larkspurs being made of Hyacinthus' spilt blood, Apollo anchors the boy's soul to the flowers so Thanatos wouldn't take him. Like the Dawn is also set in this world but because it is nsfw in nature, I wouldn't recommend it as easily as the other three bits of writing. If you don't mind the whole naked men thing though, I'd definitely suggest reading Like the Dawn for a better idea of what my current writing is like (along with eventually getting to see characters like Hector, Andromache and Cassandra/Helenus) Like the Dawn's themes are also different to the other three works with it focusing more on the power dynamics of a god/mortal relationship, exploring masculinity and masculine sexuality and self discovery.
The running theme here, of course, is that all of these bits of writing are centered on Apollo/Artemis or Hyacinth because my novel itself is centered around them. There are, of course, other important characters and figures like Eros, Psyche, Penthesilea and Iaso (one of Asclepius' daughters) but while there is the definite presence of characters from the Trojan War they most certainly aren't at the center of the novel (and the ones that are aren't the Greeks but rather the Trojans i.e Hector, Alexander, Andromache, Cassandra, Helenus, Aeneas, so on and so forth.)
2) The basis of the apocalypse in my work is cosmological! Due to Apollo's err-- untimely departure, there's no longer anyone maintaining the axis of the heavens or the navel of the earth. Because of this, Erebus - whose darkness is usually kept firmly in the spaces between the realms - begins to spill out into both the heavens and the earth. The beasts of Erebus (referring primarily to the Seven Curses - Old Age, Misery, Deceit, Violence etc etc) consume, torment and destroy whatever is inside of Erebus' darkness and Ithaca, as one of the islands on the far edge of the world, was one of the very first places that were devoured in this manner. Odysseus was visiting the Argives at the time for a festival and had left the pregnant Penelope at home since he didn't want her to suffer through the voyage in discomfort. He only finds out about the destruction of Ithaca after it had already been consumed when Athena personally interrupts a feast to warn both him and Diomedes. Needless to say, Odysseus, like everyone else, assumes that everyone on Ithaca has died and thusly is a very, very different man in terms of humour and comport. A part of him still stubbornly clings to the belief that Penelope managed to escape - that she was smart and resourceful enough to see the end approaching and do her best to escape - but that doesn't stop him from being dour for the majority of the time. Diomedes does his best to keep his spirits up in the meantime. Without him around, Odysseus is something of a black hole when it comes to the oppressiveness of his discontent though he does manage to lighten up when in the company of Helen, Clytemnestra and even Menelaus on occasion.
#ginger answers asks#ginger chats about greek myths#Diomedes did a lot to coax Odysseus out of his initial shock when Athena delivered the news#Pretty much the only thing that stuck was Ody getting into the habit of whittling wooden horses and ships#He used to speak to Penelope's stomach and tell a bunch of stories about his youth and adventures#Now he speaks to himself while he's whittling because it makes him feel like he's still speaking to Telemachus#Ody doesn't grieve Penelope at all btw He refuses to behave like she's dead until the gods personally tell him or he sees a body#DIomedes very much thinks it's unhealthy and is very worried for his bestie but he's very deliberately left that topic for Helen#and Clytemnestra to deal with. Like he punches things he can't really do that for Ody's mental health alas#pursuing daybreak posting#The Seven Curses all have names btw#And Erebus isn't really doing anything malevolently either#The gods carved the world sky and ocean out of the darkness - it's their responsibility to maintain it#Of course Nyx and Himera originally held the job of keeping Erebus' darkness at bay#But that power is one that's been broken up and passed down between the generations to prevent precisely this event from happening#Nyx's Night and Himera's Day was first given to Ouranos so he could govern the boundary between the world and the darkness without fail#Ouranos' daughters received Night - specifically Theia and Phoebe#and his sons received Day - namely Hyperion and Coeus#Apollo - ever the overachiever however - ends up being overwhelmingly endowed with these attributes and then some considering#he also gets Delphi - the center of the earth - when he slays Python#So when he errr left to get some milk so to speak - the entire order of things went with him#The remaining balance-keepers are Hecate and Artemis and both of them are Night which is too close to Erebus anyway#So y'know things aren't good like at all LMFAO#Anyway I talked a lot - thank you very much again for asking!! If you have any more questions let me know :D#ginger rambles#odysseus#apollo#erebus#diomedes#greek mythology
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longagoitwastuesday · 2 months ago
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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curiosity-killed · 2 months ago
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i love my sister and for the most part, we are very close and genuinely like each other a lot but the one place where i'd just really, really, really like to see inside her brain is the part where she is still incredibly comfortable and cheerful—and even thinks it's really funny—talking about how much she didn't like me as a child while I'm like. yes. I am and was aware. and it sucked so so so much
#we had a really wild moment over dinner last week where she actually acknowledged#EXPLICITLY with her OWN WORDS#that things like our brother dying right when i was going into my senior yr of high school#and covid lockdown starting right when i'd graduated college + moved to a new city where i knew no one except her + was applying/auditionin#for jobs#were harder on me than one her in some unique ways#and i was literally like . is. is this a test? am i supposed to deny it?#bc like when our brother died she told me i was a selfish brat (for not grieving the way she did)#and during covid she told me (right after i got laid off) that she had ''way more reasons to be depressed'' than i did#personal#anyway she was laughing so much as she said this (abt not liking me) and i was just staring at her nodding slightly like#yeah. i know. i know you didn't like me#do YOU know how much it sucks to know that your older sister--whom you idolize--who you *desperately* want to like you--#not only doesn't like you at all#but even up into high school/college#would talk about how she couldn't wait till our LITTLE (five year old) cousins were old enough to hang because they'd be so much fun#and know that she had absolutely never thought or said that about you#do you perhaps! think that might still have ramifications on our relationship to this day#if your little sister spent 20+ years knowing that your love was conditional on them being the person you wanted her to be#like. do u???#(the answer is no of course but#i remain boggled by the fact that this eludes her considering she is! in fact! a really smart person!)#it's also like when i was first offered my current job#and our now bosses asked both of us like ''are you worried at all about working with your sister?''#and she laughed like lol no of course not?#while i was like ''honestly yes.'' adskjfglkjasds#very different perspectives sometimes
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twnj · 3 months ago
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'Before Temari could blink twice, he was out of the door, storming through the dead street with his hands deep in his pockets. She watched, mortified, as he kicked at a puddle and let out an angry scream as he lit another cigarette, turning the heads of strangers as he kicked the kerb outside.
One stranger, however, was unperturbed. He stood, sopping wet, with a backpack strung over one shoulder and a black tie loose around his neck. Squinting through the rain, he looked between a slip of paper in his hands and the building above him, not even reacting as Kankuro barged his shoulder with a loud grunt. A hand ran through his long, dark hair as he began to tie it up, tangling it in his fingers as his eyes settled on the window.
Shikamaru stopped dead when he saw her. His eyes softened from their squint instantly, and Temari’s lips parted, her breathing light.
He was here.
Somehow, he was here.'
Grandmaster on ao3 by @notquitejiraiya
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evermoredeluxe · 1 year ago
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lee-blogs · 2 months ago
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Still packing stuff and now i'm looking for a box for this.
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My dad and i made it a few years ago for halloween, probably 2015/16 if i'm remembering right. It's made from a lays can, a wipes container from his work, and paper maché. I don't remember what the wires and front metal bits are from, but the middle actually lights up! It has one of those long battery-powered emergancy lights in it and some colored tissue paper
#lee rambles#I gotta fix the metal bits on the front#they keep coming out of place and drooping down. maybe some hot glue'll work since i don't want to melt the styrofoam under the paper#I went as Chell that year#with a shitty handmade Aperature Science shirt lol#Also as a sidenote since i'm already talking a bunch in the tags#I have no idea if we're actually going to be able to afford to move or not#so we're kinda thinking about staying where we are and seeing how things go over the next few years#i know it's in my dad's will to sell but with how expensive rentals are i doubt we'd be able to afford 2k+ a month on top of our other bills#I just hope my Uncle doesn't give us too much shit about it. We didn't get much from the life insurances he had#definitely not enough to live on for long on its own#but 800 a month for the house is a lot more doable than 2000#we don't want to end up having to kill ourselves working just to make ends meet. That's probably what would happen if we moved#i dunno#just... thinking a lot about the future. I honestly hope we stay#It'd get rid of a lot of stress if we stayed. We'd still get rid of a bunch of things but... it'd be easier.#We weren't even really allowed to grieve. once the funeral was over we just had to start packing our lives away.#i'm a little bitter about it really. They've gotten to grieve and be away from the situation. We've had to be there the whole time.#We might've all been there the day he passed but they weren't there for his bad days. They weren't there helplessly watching as he slowly#got more and more tired. and sick. and depressed.#I don't know what we're going to do.#I didn't mean for this to turn all venty. sorry about that if you've read this far
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lemongogo · 2 years ago
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vash w this hairstyle is literally so cute.. .. wolfwood matchies or smt T__T
#litearlly dont talk 2 me i saw the knives panel again and smashed everuthing inmy room and set myself on fire#am i wrong 4 thinking that he shouldve had a little more time.am i wrong for thinking this guy.having lived in terrible fear#his whole life 4 what he thought could happen 2 him. to his brother. DID happen 2 his sister#should be able 2 experience some happiness and comfort for once#like yeah the guy killed hundreds of thousands SUREE ok.AND??? let the guy breathe a little#BAHAHA no i think i do still agree w the ultimate ending of him using the last of his energy 2 generate that apple tree#its sweet and i do like the sentiment it was just. Too.soon after it was literally right after#and im like coughing and hacking and wishing.that he and vash couldve spent those few months living (somewhat) peacefully#and secluded.before everything that happened#i guess there is a bittersweet tinge to knives dying before vash woke up / could say gbye but idk.i just grieve 4 this guy#even if a clean redemption isnt like#feasible in a sense U KNOW!!!!!!! but then again i dont think. satisfying endings have to be clean cut and perfect#like he doesnt have to be redeemed i think. not everyone needs Redemption as it exists in its current form#&& i do think that even after all he did.comma.he wasnt entirely wrong?like you cant rly blame him 4 rejecting coexistence#based on the way plants have historically been treated (assuming he also telepathized with exploited plants after the great fall)#though not to say that his decisions/methodology is right ykwim#and i know yeaa yeaa there was a lot of hypocrisy in how he used the other plants 2 amass power#ok this is literally getting too convoluted there r so many conditional aspects to this but long story short i do thnk he deserved.#a little something at the end;______; even if just 4 me to see art of them together post-final arc .#< me dragging my knuckles in the sand w open wounds or smth#sry vash post turned into knives sadblogging EHAHEHA but its like the nature of this^ guys life anyways LMAO#trigun spoilers#trigun maximum#trigun#vash
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giantkillerjack · 4 months ago
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Anastasia the Musical sucks so bad. They really said "We're gonna cut the best song from the movie - just axe the absolute banger that is 'In the Dark of the Night' - because we are being SERIOUS and GROWN-UP now. We are A Big Historical Realism Musical Now. This is FOR REAL, okay!? We don't have a SILLY villain like Rasputin! We have Gleb! [Please Just Clap.] We are HISTORICALLY GROUNDED. -- Anyway, here's a musical unironically glorifying the Russian monarchy~~ 💖😌💖😌💖😌💖"
#anastasia#anastasia musical#Anastasia movie#anastasia the musical#that said everything added in relation to Sophie and Vlad was 👌👌👌 chef's kiss#to add insult to injury they use the tune from in the dark of the night in a solemn dirge about the pain of having to leave one's country#I'm not actually against adding more historical realism into Anastasia but you have to give the monarchy that treatment as well#if you want to actually reckon with the oppressive regime of Russia in that time period you can't give a free pass to the monarchy#they're like completely uninterested in why the revolution happened and everything in relation to the royal family is#this glittering nostalgic shallow thing. which also describes the original but that at least had a campy magical historical fiction angle#that made suspending disbelief pretty easy. also how dare you add more ballads i mean for fuck's sake#I don't care if Anya and Dimitri saw each other TWO times as children instead of one! i don't care! i don't need a 6 minute song about it!#he's like 🎵 i saw you in a parade once. gosh the monarchy sure had some pretty parades and beautiful spectacle 🎵#and she's like 🎵 omg i remember you that's crazy i sure did love being a part of the family of the Czar 🎵#if you're going to add an introspective song maybe have Anastasia reckon with how her father was a great father and a violent ruler!#maybe address the inherent emotional conflict of grieving genuine trauma and also recognizing the fault of the ruling class.#i have memories of rewinding the movie just for a second or third viewing of 'in the dark of the night'#memories of jamming out to it in the car with my friends. then clicking skip 100+ times on my friend's ipod shuffle just to play it again#original#been a while since I saw the musical but I still get mad about this sometimes. half-assed ''Realism'' means less fun and more glaring flaws#please just clap#it's not like there's nothing there to develop it's just that they did it bad. I'm fine with adding a sad song about leaving home but ffs#also why not make Gleb a campy weirdo? he's SO. BORING. at least fuck up in an entertaining way.
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