#some of it's nice enough and some is aggressively mediocre and flat from what I can see

[vinceaddams]

It would make a great title page for a children's book. One with a historical fantasy theme, and lots of bright watercolour illustrations.

So this is apparently the real, no-fooling invitation for the coronation of the actual King of England. I actually don’t hate it! I feel like it might work better in a different context, though.

I’ll start: I think this would make a great program cover for an SCA event in the late 90s. Would love to hear more suggestions!

[ruakichan]

Self-vent ahead!

I hate being “a creative.”

I’ve been drawing for about thirty years, most of that in fandom, and it’s utterly, hopelessly de-motivating to see that nothing has actually come from all that time. (Is this my mid-life crisis lol?)  No improvement, no following, I couldn’t even make money off my work if I tried (still living off my savings right now, for those that are aware I quit my job during the rona shutdown), no sense of lingering pride or accomplishment when I manage to squash down the loathing enough to finish a piece. I’ve watched my artist friends rightfully gain traction and blossom, while I shrivel.

All those pretty little puff pieces you see about how “work hard to improve!” have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be in the stratum known as complete banal mediocrity. You hit a wall that no amount of “working hard” can overcome: the wall that separates the talented from the hacks.

And squished right against that wall are the mediocre: good but not good enough. Only noticed because maybe they fill some niche until someone better comes along. They throw themselves against that wall in hopes of overcoming it, but never look up to see how high it really is.

A bad artist will always improve. A mediocre one just suffers diminishing returns.

My best friend, with good intentions, got me a very nice Cintiq for Christmas. He spent a lot of money he really shouldn’t have. He’s a “creative” too, so he understood some of what I was going through, and thought this would cheer me up, give me a boost. Thought maybe it was my outdated tools (over a decade old) was holding me back.

I accepted it because he was very proud of his grand gesture, but I wish he didn’t. I feel obligated to use it, to draw, to be continually disappointed, to continue to disappoint others. And on the rare occasion I do something I am pleased with the final product of, I hate it so, so very much the next day, and the masses agree, as the reception is silent.

Being an artist inherently has a streak of exhibitionism: what you draw is a reflection of your thoughts and perception of the subject matter, and when you post it publicly, you are asking for validation of that image.  Being able to appeal to a broad spectrum of people is a talent on its own: any popular meme or illustration becomes that way because people go, “yes, I can relate!” in some fashion. Empathy is incredibly important in any creative work.

But when the reception is silent, it’s hard to tell where it is you failed: the subject matter? the appeal? the skill level? everything? Do I fail at connecting with people despite being able to do it very well IRL? Is my art style just that unattractive? Is it my skill level, flat and uninspiring?

I know what I hate about my work (everything), but I don’t know what causes others to recoil from it, except to maybe give a pitying glance over but not enough to go ‘yes, I can relate!” and share it with others. So I can only assume it’s for the same reasons why I hate it: everything.

Perhaps my loathing for my art comes through in the image, which in turn elicits a similar reaction in others. I feel ‘this is ugly’ and others pick up on that and react in kind.  There’s something to be said about how people can pick up on your body language and confidence in face-to-face conversation; perhaps this is the same with art. But what about the work I do that I’m proud of, which gets even less reception?

During the initial drawing process, I do very much love art. I do like the act of ‘creating.’ I’m happiest during this point; I like brainstorming or daydreaming, doodling and laughing at my own bad jokes. But the longer I stay with a piece of work, the more critically I look at it, and the more ashamed I am of wasting my time with something that no one can love, not even me. There’s a lot of work I just never finished; there’s a lot of work I just flat out deleted from existence. I’ve been trying not to do this; try to at least post something, finish something, acknowledge that even flawed things have merit, but holy hell, it gets so depressing seeing these malformed things out there in the wild, even if no one else sees them.

When I was first starting out, I didn’t have these sort of thoughts, eagerly, lovingly drawing, proud of every single doodle, sharing them with anyone that would cast a glance my way.  When you’re fresh and naive, you don’t realize how personal art is until you get rejected enough to start to become self-aware of your own flaws: like how children can be so unabashedly carefree while adults are acutely self-conscious.

Lately, I hate admitting I draw. I don’t like sharing my art freely. Even the brief moment I got validated—being a winner in some contest for some game—I immediately wished I could take that image away so people wouldn’t see it cause I threw it together to get the participation prize.  “This isn’t representative of what I can do!”  ... but maybe it is.  After all, it won, where others I labored over haven’t.

Social media definitely hasn’t helped in this day and age, where you’re aggressively bombarded with how well you succeeded or failed.  I shut down my Twitter for this reason; it was absolutely soul-crushing to see anything I do die in the ether, because I wasn’t good enough. All these followers, but no response?   It’s better just to hide them under the bed, than look at your own failures.

So now I spend a lot of time going “why bother” when it comes to creative endeavors as I try to come to some final acceptance of my own mediocrity.

Why bother?

The images are prettier in my head.  They don’t need to be realized because I can’t convey them in a worthy manner that people would want to see. If after nearly 3 decades, I haven’t been able to surmount that wall, I need to accept that this is the end of the road.

Why bother indeed? There are many more talented, able artists to provide beautiful works.  I want to freely consume them without thinking about where I failed.  I can only look at art in areas I don’t draw in; it’s the only way I don’t immediately want to break my own hands.

Anyway, long vent, but it’s been building up since I got that Cintiq. I don’t talk about this much because people hate hearing about it. They don’t want to see your anxieties.  You have to be *~strong~* and *~confident~* as an artist, and it’s “”””””cringe””””””” to have any doubts about yourself. They don’t want to see “I’m not happy with this, but here it is” attached to something you did. They call it “fishing for compliments,” without realizing there’s a lot of baggage attached to a lot of artwork that they, as the viewer, don’t see.

That when artists post art, they are literally putting themselves up on display. They wonder where they can improve in their work, they wonder about the reaction to their art.  These things don’t exist in a vacuum, independent of each other.  Art is inherently exhibitionist.

It’s why I’m the least suited for it, and I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self to go collect stamps or something. What a waste of a life.

[skriak]

Killzone 3 GAME REVIEW

(contains SPOILERS for Killzone 1 and 2)

The story of the Killzone franchise is that of a struggle against mediocrity and excessive hype. The original game promised the world so of course it turned out disappointing, and Killzone 2 became controversial before it even released due to deceptive advertising, on top of being aggressively dull and riddled with technical issues. Killzone 3 defied the odds by, at long last and with great toil, finally elevating the series to the glorious heights of averageness.

To be clear, I don't hate the original Killzone. I think was a victim of ambition and marketing, but for its time it was playable and actually provided a different experience from the competition rather than just copying it. Killzone 2 unfortunately learned the wrong lessons and removed all the distinguishing features other than cockney space Nazis, and I'm also less forgiving of a sequel. It aged very poorly but at least served as a stepping stone to greater things. Killzone 3 still relies on a lot of conventions from the height of Call of Duty mania, but it actually has some personality and memorable moments, which I can't really say for the previous games.

It's fascinating how some minor tweaks improved the experience so profoundly. I can only wonder if Killzone 2 was rushed to market because the third game is functionally almost identical but works so much better. Hitting targets with your gun isn't as much of a pain now (fairly crucial in a game about shooting dudes), and though they didn't bring back the first game's secondary fire options you can at least carry three guns again: a primary, a pistol and a heavy weapon. This instantly encourages you to actually experiment with the arsenal rather than constantly leave you with no ammo, and running around with a massive laser cannon that makes baddies explode into green goo is a joy. Even better though, there's even a smegging jetpack with a built-in machinegun, which is just a beautiful microcosm of how the franchise was finally allowed to have fun with its setting.

After the plot of Killzone 1 boiled down to "the ISA stop a traitor general from helping the invading Helghan", and the plot of Killzone 2 was basically "accidentally kill the bad guy", Killzone 3 immediately gets off to a better start by showing us the power vacuum left after your useless, incompetent and annoying comrade Rico turned Scholar Visari into a martyr. The franchise desperately needed something like this and it's gratifying to get some idea of how Helghast society works under all the propaganda. The usual stylish intro cutscene is present and accounted for, but now we also get regular glimpses of the Helghast high command bickering at a table. None of them are nice people but at least some of them want to pursue peace talks, whereas the rest are opportunists or just flat-out crazy. Even the hero characters have slightly more going on now, with Rico (understandably!!!) feeling guilt for killing an unarmed political prisoner, and Sev having a sense of humour. I particularly liked when he put on a cockney accent to pass as a Helghast. It's not much but it's something, which at the risk of repeating myself is more than I can say for Killzone 2.

The Helghast really are relentless, though. I was warned to play on the easy mode and honestly that's good advice for anyone who doesn't have the patience to get stuck on a level for an hour. Killzone 3 still has the low framerate and narrow field of view that infested a lot of console shooters at the time, and I don't mind regenerating health but even on the medium setting you'll die before you have time to see who's shooting you in the arse. I personally get frustrated with games easily, because I have so many of the buggers demanding my attention these days, so would rather blast through on a comfortable setting then maybe come back for a real challenge if I like it enough. I learned this lesson after playing Bioshock Infinite on hard mode made the experience absolutely insufferable.

In a shocking twist, the Helghast have been spotted outside their natural habitat of brown and grey landscapes. After a tense opening in some snowy mountains and an escape through a flaming city, you sneak through a wonderfully alien forest with striking red flora, then later you have a Wolfenstein-esque disguise sequence where the enemy always seem on the edge of realising who you are. Nothing here is revolutionary but it represents a newfound understanding of pacing and variety. Helghan feels like an actual place where people actually live, as opposed to a rollercoaster of cardboard cityscapes with the Saving Private Ryan soundtrack blasting tinnily, and the narrative has some actual tension and surprises.

Killzone 3 isn't brilliant, but it's not bad. And that's honestly all it needs to be.

Availability: Killzone 3 is very cheap if you have an actual PS3 you can put blu-rays into, but if that's not convenient then you can buy it digitally on PS4 for about eight quid. Otherwise you can do what I did and stream it via Playstation Now. Your mileage may vary but I have a strong connection. The free trial might actually be long enough to beat the game, so that's a fun option.

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter 2018 Anime Final Review

Why yes, pretty much all the Spring premieres are done (don’t even remind me haha I’m so far behind) and this is horribly late, I had a busy couple of weeks ;---; and am still struggling to catch up, but here’s my final rundown of this long slow winter! Worst to best, as always.

Dropped

Basilisk Ouka Ninpou Chou: Although I’d said I’d keep watching for the Nobunaga twist, given the onslaught of new stuff for Spring, it’s unsustainable to keep watching something so mediocre I don’t even find anything to say about it. Also Nobunaga hasn’t been mentioned in three episodes.

DUMPSTER FIRE

Darling in the Franxx: So we’re halfway through the show and still feels nothing of importance has happened, except we learned “lesbians are not viable, what a relief” and also KOKORO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE BABIES. The whole Kokoro business is very unsavory because on the one hand the writing is a dick to Walking Fat Joke Futoshi, but on the other hand Futoshi is an entitled Nice Guy who acts like Kokoro has some obligation to return his feelings, so basically everyone sucks lmao. Btw, does anyone know what happened with episode 13? I went to watch it but what I got instead was a Deadman Wonderland episode, complete with the story of Palurdo meeting Lab Experiment-turned-Beast Waifu as children and making a promise that would subsequently be forgotten until they meet again in their teenage years. Jesus, does Womenz are Beastz: The Anime have a single original idea?

How am I supposed to measure my own disinterest and contempt

This basically means I didn’t care for these shows. I don’t hate them but I was aggressively unengaged in them and I can’t really rank them from worst to best because that would imply me having any measurable emotional reaction to them

Violet Evergarden: I don’t think I have much to add about this one that I haven’t said before. Tryhard Sad Anime Girl stories rehashing old clichés with little novelty to them,  with a bonus of a super poorly explained and thought out child super soldier tragic backstory that still has me ?????? The final episode has the addendum of trying to redeem That One Asshole in a “he treats her bad because he’s sad about his brother dying sob sob sob he’s totally not a jerk” and i was very annoyed by that.

Koi wa Ameagari no You ni: It’s complicated to talk about this show. I really liked the first episode, hated the 4-6, then was mostly bored by the rest of it. The whole romance angle was completely dropped in the latter half, but I’m not even sure if that’s a good thing given how tastelessly it was being handled in some moments, or a bad one given how bland everything else was. It felt like Akira’s crush on Kondo turned out to be insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It also felt like Akira was profoundly underdeveloped, and it bothered me because Kondo was developed properly. His character felt more fully realized than hers. Like idk, I just cared so little for the last few episodes and it didn’t feel like Akira’s emotional progression was very connected with the first half of the show. 

Fate/Extra Last Encore: I don’t even have a screenshot. Apparently the reason the show started so late into the season is that it took a long time to produce, and apparently there are two more episodes that will be released at some point in July. But really, what matters is that I have no idea of what this show was trying to accomplish. The characters were a bunch of pieces of cardboard spouting pseudo nihilistic philosophical nonsense and I don’t even know how to describe the plot. It was generic in its Boss of the Week approach but the execution was often very flat. Definitely none of the fun from Apocrypha’s cool characters was to be had in this iteration of the franchise.

Too much iyashikei

This season we had too much iyashikei and I’m burned out. Here are the ones I didn’t hate but also wasn’t super in love with.

Miira no Kaikata: I think this show would’ve worked better as 3-minute vignettes. 20 minutes of it was a bit too much and I struggled to pay attention. I also felt the dragon and MukuMuku had very tangential roles. I don’t have a whole lot to say. It’s cute, if cute is your jam this show is for you. Connie is best smol monster.

Hakumei to Mikochi: Another cute show that gains extra points for its somewhat unique setting, beautiful color palette and picture book aesthetic and because the two main girls are great characters. I particularly liked the first and last episodes. It’s a relaxing, fun little show

Sanrio Danshi: The harbinger of feminism made into a toy commercial, while not quite iyashikei, is still a slice of life that just occassionally indulged in too much melodrama. It was nonetheless a fun little thing that managed to turn cynical consumerism into a positive message for boys: it’s okay to like non-traditionally-masculine things. One of the details I liked most was that none of the boys had to give up on their previous groups of friends even after “coming out”, Kouta’s friends and Shuu’s team were supportive of them and even participated in their dumbass musical play. Some may even read this show as a not-so-subtle allegory on homosexuality and while I don’t think this was Sanrio’s intent (their intent is to broaden their market, plain and simple) the fact that it works so well with that reading is honestly great. I had very minimal expectations for this show and I’m happy it turned out better than those.

Classicaloid 2: Classicaloid isn’t quite iyashikei either but it fits in the “didn’t love it, didn’t hate it” category. I’m a huge fan of season one, but unfortunately a big part of S2 failed to capture the magic. I think most of it was restored in the second cour, specially with brilliant episodes such as the one where Dovo-chan becomes a super-realistic painting of himself, and the last three episodes really captured what made Classicaloid great. I’ve really come to love this cast, so I wouldn’t complain if we got more seasons (please do Vivaldi!!!)

Shonen is a Good Genre, Actually

Shonen as a genre/demographic is much reviled for its repetitive clichés and childish stories, but I think we live at a time in which we can have well-executed shonen anime that, although falling for the same old clichés, have enough heart and sincerity that makes them enjoyable. This part also isn’t necessarily ranked, since my favorite one will change depending on which day you ask me

Nanatsu no Taizai: Imashime no Fukkatsu: As I have mentioned before, this second season seems to be the polar opposite of the first one’s rapid pace. It’s been a while since I read the manga, but I feel like it took a lot less to get to the mid-season cutoff point there than this anime would lead you to believe, especially the training part felt excruciatingly long. NanaTai has other various flaws including its 1000% not funny harrassment jokes and the dumb introduction of quantified “power levels” (why Suzuki), but characters like Diane, King and Ban give the show a unique flavor. And I’m not even gonna pretend to be unbiased, I just love everything involving Ban, even the weird and questionable choice of bringing Elaine back. I’m excited that we’re finally approaching Escanor’s arrival.

Yowapeda Glory Road: I also forgot to grab a screenshot lmao. Yowapeda is a very particular beast, and with its episode count already in the hundreds, it’s not something I’d reccommend unless you’re super into dragged out ridiculous sports anime. This second season of Onoda’s second year has not been without its flaws either, starting with the, imho absurd persistence in making Sohoku look like underdogs even though they’re reigning champions. It’s made a lot of the first two days of the Interhigh feel a lot grimmer than this cheerful show ought to. Kaburagi is still an insufferable character, and the fact that he drags the team down doesn’t help him either, and I just wish the writers would let Best Boy Teshima win anything. I hope the second day ends on a lighter note, because the gloom and doom is making this a less enjoyable watch than it should be

Mahoutsukai no Yome: I feel a little better about this one knowing the final was anime-original, but at the same time I’m beyond livid with how it was wrapped up. I loved the second half of the series because of how well-written and emotional Chise’s growth was, and everything up to her embracing of Cartaphilus’s curse was a beautiful display of her strength and will to live. What I’m not here for is that asspull wedding whatever that makes no sense in the context of the previous events, especially because after the fact, Elias’s attempt to kill Stella is swept under the rug. This could’ve been my favorite show of the season without that bullshit ending and while I don’t regret watching it, it leaves me with a sad feeling of what could have been

Best of the season

Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens: It had a slow start, but with its endearing cast and well-developed character relationships, HTR won me over, especially the last quarter. The animation was veeery barebones, but Lin and Bamba’s charisma and their organically developed relationship carried the show to be one of the most enjoyable of the season. I also really appreciate the fact that the series includes a gay couple with an adopted daughter and that Lin’s crossdressing is never used as a joke or treated as a character flaw or a “phase”. I love stories about found families and I’d love to see more of this gang fighting crime and doing shady business in their city of assassins.

Garo: Vanishing Line: This iteration of Garo had a somewhat slow start, but boy did it pick up steam in the second half. The action was great -the final fight against King had some incredible stylistic choices, the characters’ journeys felt complete and very human and the story was interesting and different enough from other Garo to not feel repetitive, yet with enough Garoisms that made it feel connected to everything else. Like I said, I love stories about found families, so the way Sophie found a home with Gina, Luke and Sword by the end was very touching. Watching Sophie’s journey has been a treat, and I’m immensely happy that this wasn’t a Guren no Tsuki disaster, but was more in line with the excellence of Honoo no Kokuin.

Gakuen Babysitters: This was the huge surprise of the season for me, I almost expected it to be pretty dull. Instead it turned out to be super cute and extremely heartwarming. It had a couple of duds here and there, mostly the not-actually-a-pedophile joke character and the early love triangle skits, but the former disappeared and the latter was vastly improved in the second half of the show. I wish Ryuichi’s grief had been dealt with a bit more, but I think what they did show was very well executed and empathetic. And the portrayal of the kids felt very realistic, including both children’s most adorable and most obnoxious behaviors. KIRIN IS BEST GIRL

Card Captor Sakura Clear Card arc: I have expressed some complaints and dissatisfactions with this sequel all through the season. Mostly in regards to the new cards and how the old ones seem to have been forgotten (also the lazy designs of the new cards). In spite of that, Sakura hasn’t lost any of its heart in these 20 years, the characters are still the kids we grew up with. It is an overwhelmingly cheerful and positive show, from Sakura and Syaoran’s shyly developing relationship, to the hopefulness of Sakura’s magic and just the simple day to day life of Sakura and her friends. In spite of all its flaws, Sakura is still my favorite show of the season and I’m happy we get to spend one more season with these characters. Just please give me more Yue??? 

Ooooof, finally I’m done with this! PLEASE LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THE 20+ SHOWS I’M SAMPLING FOR SPRING AHAHAHAHA. There’s too much anime. Anime must be stopped, immediately. Don’t hesitate to send me your thoughts about the winter season, even if it seems I’m losing my mind a little Dx TOO MUCH ANIME

[spitblaze]

the only thing i said was to keep in mind that young artists can often get discouraged by constant hatred instead of actual analysis. you can say that there are serious flaws that need to be worked on, but when presented as childish insults rather than constructive criticism, it's harder to learn. i never said anything about accepting mediocrity; theres a reason im not a fan of dangan ronpa. i say this with no passive-aggressive intent: calm down. you're ranting.

Cool, firstly, you literally never goddamn said that, so nice job justifying urself.

Secondly, what analysis could I give of Komatsuzaki that hasn’t been done to death? His clear, super-uncomfortable leg fetish copy-pasted onto every female character he draws? The way his character drawings seem stiff and flat instead of natural and free? The way he’s cut every possible corner in the DRV3 art? Believe me, I could go off about that for DAYS. But that’s not what that was about! This wasn’t about ‘if you have bad art you’re the worst’, this wasn’t about ‘if you like dangan ronpa and its artstyle you’re a bad person’, it was jabs at Komatsuzaki’s laziness. I’m not the best judge of tone, but my half-joke criticisms I was making before this were FAR from scathing hatred. Did I get too mad in my initial response? Yeah, I did, admittedly. I was mad that someone looked at my jokes about how komatsuzaki sucks and thought that people were going to get so upset about my jokes that it required tone policing. I overreacted. I probably got too mad, but again, I was hardly offering ‘hate’ or legit criticism to begin with, it was jokes. I have enough faith in beginner artists that they can look at a post about ‘im starting a kickstarter to get komatsuzaki a live model so his character poses make some modicum of sense’ and not get super upset about it.

Thirdly,

[housebeleren]

Ikoria: Lair of Behemoths Limited: Premium Uncommons

It’s time for the Uncommon cards in Ikoria. Let’s dive right in.

White

What’s nice here is the flexibility. You can cast it on curve if you need a blocker, or use it as a pump spell for your team. That said, it doesn’t pump itself, so it doesn’t do as well with massive stacking like some of the others. I would still take some of the good Common removal over this, but it’s better than most of the creatures in White at Common, and most at Uncommon. 2.5/5

This, however, is better than any White creature at Common or Uncommon. The numbers here are great. 3/3 with Lifelink for 3 is a great deal, and adding Cycling to the mix is just fantastic. You’re probably not going to Cycle it often, but it’s worth having the option. 3.0/5

There is a serious dearth of Uncommon removal in White. This is super efficient, but has enough constraints that sometimes it won’t work out. They have to have a tapped creature, and you need to also have a creature that you’re okay leaving down for a turn. But the rate is phenomenal enough that I’d usually include this in most White decks. 3.0/5

To be honest, I’m a little disappointed in White so far. The Commons & Uncommons just don’t seem up to the power level of the rest of the colors. But only time will tell.

Blue

The stat loss isn’t too much, but removing the abilities can be particularly useful against Mutate. It won’t stop it from gaining abilities through ability counters, though. Either way, it’s a useful tool that many Blue decks will want. 2.5/5

Probably the best Blue Uncommon. Even just flashing this in as a surprise blocker is some great value, but if you get a chance to Mutate it multiple times, it’ll keep your opponent’s board clear. The potential value here is insane. 3.5/5

If you don’t have any non-Human creatures, this is pretty terrible, but if you do, it’s one of the best in the “mentor” cycle. Flying is incredibly useful, and if you have a good number of creatures that have Flying naturally, its activated ability will be excellent. 3.0/5

Blue’s Uncommon’s seem very swingy. There are a lot of buildarounds and cards that are only useful in some specific decks, but there are enough generally useful cards that you should always find some solid picks.

Black

You don’t want tons of these, but it’s a pretty solid top end for most decks. The base stats are good, and the ability ensures that you’re going to typically break even on the card disadvantage inherent with Mutate. I expect running this in all but the most aggressive Black decks is correct. 3.0/5

The restriction is real, but Cycling makes this a card that you’ll be happy to include most of the time. There are some good low drops in the set, and you can use it in response to an opponent trying to Mutate an early creature. (It won’t stop the new creature from entering, but it will stop any Mutate triggers as well as kill the 2 drop.) I’d usually include one of these. 3.0/5

Grimdancer seems nuts. 3/3 for 3 is a great line for stats anyway, but the fact that it comes in with two abilities of your choice is ridiculous. Menace & Deathtouch if you’re trying to force damage through multiple big blockers, Menace & Lifelink if you are pushing an advantage, and Lifelink & Deathtouch if you’re behind and trying to stabilize. Seems great. 3.5/5

This is the best Black removal. Most creatures won’t have counters on them, so a lot of the time, this is premium cheap removal. Occasionally, you’ll be able to strip something of its +1/+1 counters or abilities, and win a combat or save yourself from a big flier or something. I don’t think you can have too many of these. 3.5/5

Black’s Uncommons seem nuts, compared with some of the other colors. Almost every one is strong, and most are playable in any deck. I suspect Black will be quite good in this format.

Red

Flame Spill seems great. I’ll pay 3 mana for 4 damage any day, and the “Trample” portion is a cute bonus. 3.0/5

A 3/2 for 3 is a decent stat line on its own, and Menace is a useful ability to tack on to most things. If you do get this to stick, making your Menace creature bigger and bigger is pretty potent, but you won’t often have occasion to pump up more than one creature with this. 3.0/5

A lot of this cycle honestly aren’t that great, but I do like the smasher here. Cycling it to grant First Strike can be an effective combat trick to win a combat, whereas most of the others can’t do that. If you don’t need to Cycle him early a 6 power creature with First Strike is a beast on offense and defense, and will be very hard to kill through combat. He’s a great top end for most Red decks. 3.0/5

Green

Ignoring all the text, this is a 6/6 for five mana, which is an awesome deal, and often that’ll be the way to play it. But the nice thing is if you do Mutate it, it makes up for the card disadvantage by dropping another permanent into play with it. If you ever get to Mutate this more than once, you probably just win. 3.5/5

The stats on this are good enough to play on curve, and it becomes a big threat very quickly if you opt to Mutate it. I’d basically always take this and run it. 3.0/5

You’re basically always slightly behind curve when you play this, but the flexibility is worth it. It’s worth mentioning that +1/+1 counters work especially well with Mutate, since you don’t lose them when you put another creature on top. So I’d generally play this when you don’t have another play, then try to Mutate it from there. Any way you do it, it’s probably going to be a good inclusion in your deck. 3.0/5

Mutlicolor

This seems great. Stats are good on its own, and with enough Mutate creatures in the deck, you can grab a bunch of stuff back from the grave. As always, the best Mutate abilities mitigate the inherent card disadvantage, and this one is particularly great. 3.5/5

Whether you’re in Humans or not, the cost on this is low enough to basically always make the cut. It’s way better in Humans, obviously, but it will often be worth 3-4 life to remove a major threat at Instant speed. 3.5/5

They really went for the graveyard retrieval with these Uncommons, didn’t they? Lore Drakkis isn’t always going to have good targets, but if you have some removal spells already used, this is going to be fantastic. I won’t slam it in every deck that can run it, but in decks that can reliably cast it on curve and have a few good spells, I’d put it in. 3.0/5

This bears a lot of similarity to Boneyard Lurker above, but it is more restrictive on what it can get back. On the other hand, it’s cheaper and puts it right on the battlefield, so it’s probably even better for a more aggressive build, whereas the Lurker is better for slower, grindier builds. Either way, it seems great. 3.5/5

The stats are below curve, to be sure, but that ability is insane. Trust me, I’ve played with it a few times, it’s insane. You’re drawing a card every turn, and sometimes flat out ramping for a single mana. If you Mutate it onto a creature that already exists, you can use the ability right away, so again, it mitigates the card disadvantage inherent in the mechanic. All told, this is almost a “mythic” Uncommon. Not quite, but it’s close. 3.5/5

Trumpeting Gnarr seems great. 3/3 for 3 is pretty sweet on curve, and it can create an army of more 3/3s very quickly. I like that it rewards you by going wide each time you stack another creature on it, so you’re not putting all your eggs in once basket, so to speak. 3.0/5

On curve, this is a Wind Drake that resists removal, which is pretty sweet. If you have other fliers, which you probably will in this color, this gets better, and it’s a great Mutate target. 3.0/5

The Rest of the Uncommons

Fight As One - There’s a lot of text on this for a 1 drop, but in the end, it’s typically going to counter a removal spell or help you win or survive a combat. Generally a 1-for-1, despite the technical possibility that you’ll blow out by having two targets for this. I’d run one, but not more. 2.0

Flourishing Fox - You really want to be in the Cycling deck before you run this, because it’s just not impactful if you only have one or two Cycling cards. In the dedicated Cycling deck, it goes up a fair amount. 1.5

Keensight Mentor - Vigilance is one of the weakest of this cycle, and the stats are a bit mediocre as well. If you happen to draft lots of other creatures that naturally have Vigilance, have at it. 2.0

Majestic Auricorn - The stats on this are fine, and if you have a heavy Mutate deck, I would run this. It will prove really annoying for your opponent if they can’t remove it. On the other hand, this creature (unlike many of the better ones) doesn’t mitigate the card disadvantage built into the mechanic, which leaves you more open for getting blown out by a removal spell. 2.5

Sanctuary Lockdown - This is a very swingy card. If you’re in a heavy Humans deck, it’s going to be great. If you’re not, it’s AWFUL. I’ll split the difference a bit and say generally you won’t want it, but it might be worth speculating on early just in case. 1.5

Stormwild Capridor - It’s a slightly below curve flier, but it dodges basically all Red and Green removal, which is pretty sweet, and makes this a good Mutate target. I’d run this in basically all White decks. 2.5

Valiant Rescuer - Like Flourishing Fox, this is meant as a payoff for the Cycling deck. Unlike the Fox, this is a decent card on its own. It’s a good aggressive creature, and it has Cycling itself if it becomes outclassed in the late game. It goes up a notch in the full Cycling deck. 2.5

Will of the All-Hunter - This is a solid trick, and having Cycling means it won’t rot in your hand. I’d generally include a copy in most decks, and run up to two in the Cycling deck. 2.0

Archipelagore - The hope for this card is for it to be the last card you Mutate onto a creature you’ve already Mutated a few times before and Alpha strike. That will pan out once in a while. A lot of the time, this will just be a solid top end threat for a Blue deck. But it does run the risk of stagnating in your hand, so run it judiciously. 2.5

Boon of the Wish-Giver - This is cute. Draw one card for one mana or four cards for 6 mana. In a slower, more controlling deck, this will be pretty great. But it seems a touch slow for this format, so I’d be cautious. 2.0

Escape Protocol - There’s a tiny flicker subtheme in this set, but mostly this seems like more of a constructed card than a limited one. But in the Cycling deck, it might be worth trying. 1.0

Neutralize - This is going to be a constructed all-star. In limited, it’s also pretty good, since the issue with most counters is that you’ll save your mana to not have a target to counter. In this case, you can cycle it away for something more useful. I’d generally run this unless I was already flush with removal. 2.5

Ominous Seas - This is quite cute, and it will be a real card in the Cycling deck. In a normal deck, it’s too slow, so I wouldn’t run it. But it will come together often enough to consider. 2.0

Pollywog Symbiote - This is great. It’s a decent early drop, and it’s fantastic ramp if you have Mutate cards. Plus, once you start Mutating, it keeps your hand smooth. It’s definitely worth holding up excess lands once your curve ends if you have this card out. 2.5

Reconnaissance Mission - The card does nothing on its own, but it’s really great if you have lots of fliers, and Cycling means the floor is pretty high. I’d run this in most decks with a decent number of evasive creatures. 2.5

Bastion of Remembrance - This will be great in constructed. In limited, it seems a bit too slow to have a real impact. If you are in a heavy token deck, it may be worth it. 1.5

Call of the Death-Dweller - If you are in a low-curve deck, the price is right and this will sometimes be a solid 2-for-1. But it’s definitely not for every deck. 2.0

Duskfang Mentor - Lifelink is very useful ability, and you really want to have a good 2 drop to play this after. After that, you can run away with the game pretty quickly. But it’s a pretty weak first play. 2.5

Insatiable Hemophage - The Mutate ability on this isn’t particularly great, but it’s a decent 4 drop that can provide some extra value later. I’d generally run it. 2.5

Unbreakable Bond - Rise from the Grave is usually playable, but rarely great, and Lifelink doesn’t make it especially better. If you have really good bombs, this gets better, but I wouldn’t usually rush to grab this. 2.0

Void Beckoner - Most of the time, this will play like an expensive Bladebrand, but this set isn’t as conducive to it being good like Ravnica Allegiance was. That said, it has the backup option of being a massive tank later, so there’s some extra flexibility. I’d give it a try. 2.0

Zagoth Mamba - Normally a one drop 1/1 isn’t where I’d like to go, but there’s a huge amount of potential here if you can Mutate this. I’d run it if you have at least 5 or 6 Mutate creatures, and skip it if you don’t. 2.5

Blitz of the Thunder-Raptor - I like this for constructed, but in limited, there’s too big a chance that it will be completely dead. I would only run this in extremely spell-heavy decks. 1.5

Clash of Titans - The dream of this is to be able to have two of your opponent’s creatures kill each other. That’ll happen once in a while, and sometimes it’ll just be a straightforward normal fight. Instant speed makes the 5 mana not as huge a liability as it could be. 2.5

Footfall Crater - This seems way more destined for Constructed, maybe Brawl. Some bullshit with Ilharg and Drakuseth, no doubt. In limited, it’s not worth the card slot, even if you’re short on Cyclers. 0.5

Momentum Rumbler - A Hill Giant with First Strike is a great card, and it shouldn’t be too hard to get this there. Once it does, it becomes a major threat, and I’d basically always start this. 3.0

Porcuparrot - The stats are fair, and this can turn into a pretty reasonable pinger without too much effort. I like that it can hit any target, and can do so right away if you Mutate it onto something. 3.0

Reptilian Reflection - In the Cycling deck, this becomes a reasonable threat, but anywhere else, it’s pretty bad. I’d only pick it if I was already pretty solid in the archetype. 1.5

Rooting Moloch - This, on the other hand, is pretty playable in either case, since worst case it’s a slightly below-curve 4/4 that doesn’t punish you if you draw it in a mana-tight opening hand. I’d basically always run this, and the value goes way up if you’re in the Cycling build. 2.5

Weaponize the Monsters - There doesn’t seem to be a super viable sacrifice build in this set, so my guess is this usually won’t come together. But, it does work at Instant speed, so gives you the ability to ping what you want with a chump blocker, so it’s not totally useless. 1.5

Barrier Breach - Even with Cycling, I doubt this will be useful in limited. This is made for constructed. 0.5

Charge of the Forever-Beast - This is pretty cute, but is reaaaaally starting to feel like Green is eating up all the color pie space on all sides. I’d probably run this most of the time. 2.5

Exuberant Wolfbear - The stats on this are great enough to play on its own, but it also upgrades a lower drop Human if you have one before it. Don’t stress about waiting to play this, just drop it on curve and be happy with any incidental extra value. 3.0

Hornbash Mentor - A lot of the cards in this cycle have below-curve stats, but this one (go figure for Green), is right on curve, so you really don’t have any downside to running this. Similar to the Wolfbear above, play it on curve, and be happy. 3.0

Lead the Stampede - In a Creature-heavy deck, this is better than Divination, and I’d always run it. If you have fewer than 10 Creatures, I probably wouldn’t run the risk. 2.5

Migration Path - Despite this being the plane of monsters, Ikoria seems much more midrange than true “battlecruiser” magic. As such, ramp like this goes down in value. I’d generally save this for constructed, unless you really need fixing. 1.5

Monstrous Step - At first blush, this looks awful, but most of the time, this will be pretty clean removal. There are ways to get blown out by this, so don’t get surprised by instant speed removal. Cycling makes it less of a risk to include, so I’d usually try it. 2.5

Titanoth Rex - This is huge, but 9 mana is a ton. Fortunately, you can Cycle it away if you don’t think you’re going to get there, and it gives a little bonus if you do. I’d try it, but I’m not optimistic about casting it often. 2.0

Back for More - This is a good clean 2-for-1 in most cases, which I’d hope so given it’s a 6 drop. If you have some big Cycling creatures, this can be a fun way to cheat them out. But it does risk sitting in your hand for a long time, so play it cautiously. 2.0

Channeled Force - I like the theory here, but in reality, in limited by the time you are ready to cast a 4 drop, you’re not going to have a large hand AND several cards you want to get rid of, most games. Seems unlikely to work out. 1.0

 General’s Enforcer - You’re rarely going to get value out of the first bit of rules text, but the second bit is pretty solid. Creatures will naturally end up in the graveyard, and this is a fantastic mana sink late in the game. I’d always run this if I were in the colors. 3.0

Primal Empathy - This one looks promising, but it’s a pretty classic “good when you’re ahead, awful when you’re behind” card. And it’s an awful topdeck. If you are in the colors and have lots of early drops, this can work. 2.0

Regal Leosaur - The stats are right, and in an aggressive deck, this will be powerhouse. It does leave you open to a 2-for-1, so I don’t love it as much as the other multicolor Uncommons. But I’d still run it. 2.5

Savai Thundermane - The nice thing about this is the stats are good whether or not you ever get a chance to activate the ability. If you do, this will be a great card. 3.0

Skull Prophet - The stats are good here, and the ramp is great. It’s not splashable, but it’s a good inclusion if you’re in the colors. 2.5

Sprite Dragon - This is a great card if you cast it on curve, since you’ll easily get it to 2/2 or 3/3 in most decks. The only reason it’s not higher is that it’s not a good late game draw. 2.5

Zenith Flare - In a dedicated Cycling deck, this will be a decent removal spell, but you’ll really want a lot of them before this becomes playable. 2.0

Alert Heedbonder - The stats on this are solid, and it gains you a life every turn just for being there, which will be very annoying for your opponent. Seems likely to be good. 3.0

Cunning Nightbonder - A 2/2 with Flash for 2 is a good deal no matter how you slice it, though the extra ability won’t come up all that often. 2.5

Proud Wildbonder - On its own, this is a decent creature, but it really gets better if you have other creatures with Trample. Its score really depends on how much Trample you get. 2.5

Sonorous Howlbonder - Huh, that’s interesting. Super Menace. I’d generally run this, but I’m really unsure how good it will end up being. This seems like it might format-dependent. 2.5

Triome Crystals - These are all pretty solid, and are great for a splash. I wouldn’t prioritize them too hard if you’re clearly in 2 colors. But as soon as you’re thinking about 3 colors, I’d be sure to pick one up. 2.0

That’s it for the Uncommons. Last but not least are the Rares & Mythics.

[kpopkrappykraftbin]

It’s Okay to Cry

Another Jun x Oc... or Joshua x Oc... we’ll see how this goes

college turned zombie au

its past 3 a.m. someone plz send halp

Chapter 1

Word Count: 3778

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

Masterlist

     There are certain things you remember for the rest of your life. Your mother’s smile; your father’s hugs; the feeling of sunshine on your skin. You remember living in your happy home going day in and day out in blissed mediocrity. Studying after school Monday through Friday; meeting up with friends on the weekend. Worrying about things like your next in class presentation or whether or not your crush saw you trip on your way to class. All the stupid things you can’t wait to get over after you “grow up” and figure it all out. That’s what happens when you get out of high school, right? You figure it all out and your life magically falls into place.

    In your case, it fell apart, though you were not alone.

    Shortly after graduation, you enrolled into a college. It was nothing special, but it was your next step to becoming your own person and striking out on your own, even if only a bit. You had decided to live on campus to gain some independence, even if you were only a half hour away from your parents, you were still on your own kinda… right? Getting yourself sorted and learning how to use the laundromat was your first obstacle but by the end of the first semester you knew exactly which washers worked and which made your clothes smell like celery. And you almost never got lost… anymore… usually… it was a big campus.

    It was an unassuming Tuesday after class that you were studying at a cafe in the student union. Typically you would return to your dorm room after class but you were in need of some caffeine and your sweet tooth couldn’t resist. Being that it was only around 1:30, the hall that was usually crowded with ping-pong players and sports game watchers was empty, the wide flat screen t.v. hooked on the wall was playing news at a barely audible volume. You settled on the small couch in front of it opening your laptop to start procrastinating your homework. It was about 10 minutes into watching pointless youtube videos that you heard something that caught your attention.

Breaking News: And here we are at Charity’s Hospital, where a family of four were admitted earlier this morning showing signs of fever and delirium. We were recently informed that one of the children attacked and bit a staff member unprovoked. So far he has shown no signs of being infected by the bite. But the family only seems to be becoming more rabid as staff try to transport them to a safer more fortified facility to monitor their health condition. We were lucky enough to catch the doctor who was attacked only a half hour ago and ask a few questions…

    Thinking back to it now, that would be the way the media unknowingly revealed the first case of the disease. A glamorized version of a fatal condition. From then on, more and more people with symptoms of fever and disorientation appeared and most of them fell into the same aggressive, unreasonable savageness-- they always bit.  A mother at the zoo: launched herself at her best friend effectively ripping the skin from the other woman’s jaw before being tackled by security and tazed-- a coincidence-- the media said. A father at home waiting on dinner bit the pizza delivery man hard enough to puncture muscle on the teenager’s forearm before the kid ran away-- an odd occurrence possibly related to some disease-- the media touted. A young boy at school: bit off the ear of a classmate during storytime. Trust the endangerment of small children to really get the media going. A national crisis they claimed. Well, they were almost right.

    No one ever was able to figure out what happened to the biters after the incident. They were always somehow detained with no public record or eye witness accounting. The victims were usually gone within the next few days of whatever interviews a few news stations could get a hold of. With the nation’s public asking for answers and the common people doing their own research, it was soon brought to everyone’s attention that this was not a national crisis but a worldwide pandemic. People all over the world reported having seen others acting disoriented, some even said hungry one moment and rabid the next. Different nations were handling the “disease” differently. Some countries tried to treat them as patients in designated wards of hospitals, some countries kept all the infected at a camp for supposed treatment where those who were to look after them wore hazmat suits and the patients remained chained up similarly the animals they acted like; some countries, executed on sight. You can only imagine the outrage the government and hospitals faced from advocates of the sick.

    “Where do they think they get off treating actual human beings like that?” ranted your roommate and friend, Leena. “They couldn’t get away with that if they treated animals the same! It’s wrong, they’re people and they have feelings. This is an infringement on their right to no cruel and unusual punishment! And they didn’t even do anything wrong! They’re sick!”

    You knew Leena had strong feelings on the subject, and you could see where she was coming from. Some of the tried treatments and accommodations for the diseased weren’t exactly human health and happiness friendly. But at the same time, as far as you knew, the patients were savage and couldn’t be reasoned with. Letting them roam free would at best get other people injured-- at worst? Spread the disease. It was well intentioned people like your roommate that was causing trouble with protests about letting those with the disease out or trying to get more personalized treatment to each patient. So far none of the protests had gotten violent but you could only suppose when that would happen, and it would.

    You had convinced your parents that you were sure you were just fine staying on campus amidst all the protesting chaos, and that you wouldn’t get in the middle of it. Besides a few protests a week and the new wariness around those with symptoms of something as simple as the common cold, and going without breakfast life on campus remained relatively normal. You were walking away from your last class of the day with your close classmate Joshua. A sweet, soft spoken boy with a mischievous side and a knack for somehow always taking better lecture notes than you.

    He was rather good looking, but not your type, you couldn’t say he wasn’t nice to look at though. You didn’t blame his fangirls for falling for him. Your favorite part about him had been his smile. You couldn’t see it now. He always wore a face mask. The paranoia from the rabid sickness had struck deeply with your classmate. Along with the small mouth and nose cover, he always had a bottle of hand sanitizer on him and rarely touched anyone or anything he wasn’t sure was clean. It made you sad to see the changes the disease had caused to your friend without him even being directly affected. The only sign you got of his smile nowadays were tilting of his crescent shaped eyes creating a half moon eye smile.

    You and Joshua managed to have a few classes together and coincidentally lived in the same living hall, so walking together wasn’t uncommon. After getting off the elevator for your floor, you and Joshua were nearly knocked down.

    “Oh! Y/N! I’m so glad you’re here. I’m on my way to the protest in front of the hospital on Main and Calico, do you wanna go?” your roommate was practically vibrating with excitement, unfortunately you didn’t share the enthusiasm.

    “Isn’t that the one with the biggest biters ward in the state?” Joshua uncharacteristically cut into the conversation, “ You really probably shouldn’t go, it could be dangerous if the protest gets out of hand.” he softly disputed looking at her sincerely.

    Leena rolled her eyes at his use of slang. “Biters” being a derogatory term to the patients.

   “That’s why I have to go” she brushed him off not unkindly “It’s the biggest violation of human rights in the state. We have to help these people.” she argued before checking the time on her cellphone. “Y/N, we have to go now if we wanna get there in time for the protest, are you coming?” she asked hopefully.

    She didn’t want to go alone, but she would go with or without you. You hesitated. You didn’t want to go; you didn’t want her to go. But you knew she would and what if she needed someone to help her stay out of trouble when the police came to break it up? Joshua grabbed your hand in slight anxiety trying to anchor you there, safe at school. Your roommate didn’t seem to notice as she shifted her weight from one foot to another waiting for your answer.

    “Not today” you told her apologetically.

    She didn’t take offense, “No worries, I’ll catch you later then!” She waved before dashing to the stairwell, her small blue backpack bouncing against her back.

    “I’m sorry. I just don’t like those protests. They worry me.” Joshua confided in you once you reached the door to your room.

    “You and my parents both” you laughed to put your friend at ease, “Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on going anyways, I have special plans that couldn’t be rescheduled.”

    “And those are?” He asked sensing your joking tone.

    “Eating, binge watching netflix and sleeping.” you listed off in fake seriousness.

    “Oh very important stuff then.” Joshua concluded “Mind if I join you for the first two activities?”

    “Of course you’re welcome!” you exclaimed “but you gotta bring your own snacks.” you tacked the condition onto your invite.

    “Alright. Will do. I’ll see you in, 20 minutes then?”

    “Yep, come on over in your comfy clothes and bearing gifts of food.” you confirmed with him before unlocking your door. You gave him a quick wave that he returned before slipping through your door.

    You took your time putting on some comfy pjs, a simple t shirt and sweatpants. Then you checked around your room to make sure no bras or panties were hanging out in the open. You and Joshua were close, but not that close. Having the room cleaned enough and having set up your laptop for the ultimate netflix experience, you went to wash off the day’s make up-- chances were, you would rub it off by the end of the night anyways. Walking back from the washroom you got out your secret stash of candy and chips. After some digging around you found a couple bags of popcorn and tossed one into the microwave. You settled on the bed letting the smell of buttery heaven surround you as you waited for your netflix buddy.

    By the time you were shaking the second bag of popcorn into the bowl you had for you and Joshua to share, you heard a knock at your door.

    “Come in!” you said loud enough to be heard.

    “You should really lock the door even when you’re here” Joshua reprimanded you with a small smirk. He didn’t want to be bossy, but you knew he meant what he said.

    “Okay, okay worrywart. I’ll lock the door more often. Now get over here so we can start our netflix marathon.” you demanded.

    Joshua laughed and complied coming over to sit on you bed bouncing slightly.

    “So what are we watching?” he asked as you plopped into place next to him a wide spread of snacks scattered around the two of you.

    “Oh you know I was thinking ‘Zombeavers’, what do you think?” you hovered the mouse over the cover of the bikini clad girl who had a beaver between her legs.

    “Ooh, perfect.” came the too happy, sarcastic reply.

    After about 10 minutes of going back and forth on what to watch, you two decided to settle for ‘The Office’. Something that was entertaining but neither of you had a problem giving commentary throughout either. It was maybe 8 episodes into season one and quite possibly 8 boxes of candy that you passed out next to your friend. You slept so well you didn’t remember a single dream.

    That was probably why you jumped out of your skin when heard a knock at your door. Joshua also stirred from his sleeping position next to you. You glanced at your computer to see the time was; 8:46 pm. Another knock. Joshua moved his legs so you could slide off the bed. You opened the door to see your hall resident assistant, Justin.

   “Hi Y/N, is Leena in there with you too?” he asked peeking over your shoulder.

   “No she went out earlier, She’ll probably be out a while longer.” you said.

    Noticing the apparent apprehension in the RA’s shoulders, you felt the need to ask, “Why, is everything okay?”

    He ignored your question, “After I leave, don’t answer the door for anybody, not even Leena. Do you understand?”

    His command had you breaking out in a nervous sweat. What was going on? Why couldn’t you let anyone in? Especially your roommate.

    “Both of you stay in your room here until me or the other RA, Samantha, get you. This door must stay closed and locked.”

    “But Leena-”

    “Don’t worry about Leena right now, we’ll get everything sorted tomorrow. Just stay inside with the doors locked.”

    “Alright.” Joshua’s voice came from right behind your shoulder, making you jump slightly.

    Looking back at your friend you saw him nod slightly to your RA before he closed the door for you, turning the lock into place. Turning to face him completely you saw a very stone faced Joshua. In fact he almost looked sick. He didn’t have his face mask on, but he wasn’t smiling. How you missed that smile.

    “What’s going on Joshua?” you asked, trying to keep your voice from trembling. Something was very not right.

    “I think you need to see this.” was all he said as he lead you by the wrist back to your laptop.

    He had pulled up some web news site but you honestly couldn’t remember which. What you did remember was the headline.

PROTEST AT CHARITY’S HOSPITAL GONE WRONG: BITERS ESCAPE, ARE YOU SAFE?

    Accompanying the article was a plethora of pictures from the protest. All of them depicting a handful at least of patients attacking police and protesters alike. The diseased looked worse than you remember seeing them the first time.

    “They look almost…”

    “Dead.” Joshua filled in for you. Looking just as grim as you felt.

    “Wait, Leena, I need to call her maybe she got out and can still make it here before the lock all the doors-”

    “Y/N” Joshua tried to softly interrupt you.

    “Or she can find another place to sleep tonight, there’s plenty of hotels around, maybe she can stay there-” “Y/N” he tried again, slightly louder.

    “O-o-or maybe she’s found some other friend’s house to stay at for the night already-”

    “Y/N” at full volume, Joshua stopped your panicked monologue, “I don’t think” he took a deep breath, “I don’t think she got out.” he finished while pointing at one of the smaller pictures on the screen.

    It was blurry, but there was no doubt: the small blue backpack only further confirmed it. That was Leena on the screen being attacked by a biter.

    “No. no, no, no, no.” was all you could say hands coming up to cover your mouth. You thought you were going to be sick.

   Joshua just wrapped his arms around you and held you. Trying to steady your emotions while swallowing his  own mounting fear. At some point you started crying into Joshua’s shirt. He had smelled like soap and light aftershave. Clean. Alive. You don’t know when you stopped ugly sobbing and had resorted to silent constant tears. But it must have been quiet enough for you two to hear another knock on the door.

    Both of you were startled. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours since Justin had come around telling everyone to stay locked in their rooms. You and Joshua looked at each other begging the question of what to do. Should you ask who was outside?

    “Y/NNN” Leena’s voice slurred from outside. You raised half way off the bed before Joshua grabbed your forearm, shaking his head.

    “Y/NN come on” Leena whined on the other side of the door. I’m tired and just want to go to bed. The protest was awful. I’m hungry.” she continued to beg from the other side of the door. Both you and Joshua were frozen.

    “Really, Y/N, I know you can hear me I just wanna go to bed. I just need to grab a bite before die of starvation.”

    You felt Joshua’s hand tighten slightly at her words.

    “Y/N come on, open the door!” Leena emphasized her point with a solid kick to the door. “I really will starve if you don’t let me in! I’m so hungry and tired.” She complained angrily.

    You waited with bated breath to see what she would do next. Something was definitely wrong with Leena. You were terrified. After a few seconds spent in anxiety filled silenced you heard another knock on the door, and then another, and another. The knocking turned to pounding and then an even louder thumping. Was she actually throwing herself at the door? Joshua guided you towards the back corner of the room, slightly standing in front of you. The noises stopped. Silence ensued. You grabbed the back of Joshua’s t shirt tightly.

    Then came the jiggle of the door knob. She had a key. How could you be so stupid? Of course she had a key, she lived here too. And if she had a key, she could get in. Both you and Joshua had forgotten to latch the top safety chain. The doorknob turned. Why did everything seem like it was moving in slow motion, yet you had no power to move?

    The door inched open slowly, “Y/N, Why wouldn’t you let me in?” Leena’s voiced slithered saccharinely from the crack of the open doorway. “Did you really want me to die?” the question hung suspended in air. In the silence all you could hear was your own heartbeat. “I’m sooo hungry.” Time started again as Leena burst through the door teetering faster than you expected towards you and Joshua.

    Leena was sweating and pale. Her arms reached in front of you to get either of you. It was when she was nearly in front of you that Joshua moved. He dodged to the side narrowly missing your roommate. She didn’t seem to notice as she lunged for you. As much as you wanted to gape at your best friend’s back as he deserted you for your diseased roommate, your attention was snapped to her when she tackled you to the ground, hands pinning your shoulders down; teeth snapping in your face.

    Now you and Leena were of similar size, making you think it was possible under normal circumstances for you two to be evenly matched. This was not normal circumstance. Where you had adrenaline, Leena had desperation. You could barely manage to keep her head far enough away from your body to not be bitten. And when she in turn started trying to bite any part of you in reach you started to panic, kicking vigorously from beneath her. You could feel your arms straining against her unyielding force. No words came from her mouth anymore, just guttural growls.

    ‘How could he leave me?’ You thought in hopelessness as you began to feel your arms fold. You stared into the deranged face of your once good friend and roommate, accepting that it would probably be the last thing you saw. You closed your eyes allowing the last couple tears of your to slip past your eyelashes.

    A resounding wet crack made you pop them wide open.

   You looked up the see Leena slack jawed, blood dripping from her mouth. Her head misshapen. She collapsed luckily just to the side of your body, face down. Your eyes following the dead weight.

    “Y/N!” your gaze snapped to the owner of the voice. “We need to go somewhere else, now.” He said tightly, trying to keep his tone under control. Trying not to scare you, you realize in retrospect. “Now.”

    There stood your Joshua holding a broken, bloodied closet bar in both hands. He was breathing as if he had just run a marathon and looked just as scared as you felt. But he was there. You scrambled up to follow him, whatever his plan may be. You wanted to get out of that damned dorm room now. Joshua quickly started to usher you out of the room, hand on your back. But something made your hair stand on end. You looked back. Leena was up and coming for whoever she could get her hands on. Joshua with his back turned was too slow to put up any defense. You were not.

    You grabbed the closet bar from his hands and stuck is straight at her. Eyes closed waiting for impact. You felt a heavy jolt, but did not open your eyes until the choking sounds hit your ears. Opening your eyes slowly you saw what you had done. In front of you was an almost dead Leena. Surely on her way out. The bar through the base of her jaw and out the back of her skull. You stared at her eyes as the manic light dithered away and she went completely slack.

    You jolted upright in your tent. Another memory turned night terror. You looked around the inside of your small survival tent, trying to even out your breathing. After over a year of traveling and killing off more biters than you could count. That day, that face still haunted you. Would you never forget? No. You knew.

    There are certain things you never forget.

[obtusemedia]

Top 25 songs of 2019: Honorable Mentions

In 2019 — a commendable year to close out the decade, musically speaking — Gen Z’s budding stars fully arrived, while long-time stalwarts created some of the best work of their careers. There weren’t any albums that threatened the top of my decade-end chart, but the year still delivered a crop of solid records in a variety of genres.

This year, I’m doing my year-end list a bit early, because I plan on releasing my decade-end list around New Year’s. So before we do that, let’s kick off the celebration of 2019 with 15 great songs, listed in alphabetical order by artist, that just missed the top-25 cut off.

“People” by The 1975

Manchester pop-rock geniuses The 1975 have already dabbled in almost every genre under the sun. So a sharp pivot into near-screamo punk rock seemed inevitable.

“People” isn’t my favorite song of theirs — the best version of The 1975 is when they’re fully in ‘80s synthpop mode — but it’s still very effective. The crunchy, thrashing guitars fit perfectly with Matty Healy’s off-kilter vocals and apocalyptic lyrics. In a way, “People” is a sequel to their generation-defining 2018 single, “Love It If We Made It.” But while that song is anxious, the main emotion in “People” is fury. And it’s not hard to miss the message, as Healy screams it in the chorus: “STOP FUCKING WITH THE KIDS.”

“Baby Boy” by Kevin Abstract

BROCKHAMPTON’s boy-band/hip-hop collective is too chaotic to have a true frontman. But if there is one, it would be Kevin Abstract. And the Texan rapper/singer’s 2019 solo album, ARIZONA BABY, was a stellar showcase of his talent.

“Baby Boy,” a cooing, soft love ballad, is the record’s best track. Between the gorgeous melodies and the left-of-center production and singing, it seems destined for the soundtrack of a quirky rom-com. And it’s nice to hear Abstract flex his R&B chops.

“Everybody Here Hates You” by Courtney Barnett

This loosie single by Melbourne’s finest indie rocker is classic Courtney Barnett. All the ingredients are there: deserty guitars, a shuffling groove, and Barnett charmingly speak-singing her sardonic lyrics. Barnett’s clearly notched a lane for herself with “Everybody Here Hates You.” And frankly, if she never leaves it and keeps making solid songs like this, I wouldn’t mind.

“Twist The Knife” by Chromatics

Speaking of consistently excelling in your specific soundscape — here’s Chromatics! “Twist The Knife” has all the off-key synths, ghostly Ruth Radelet vocals and general nocturnal, cinematic sound you’d want from the mysterious group. Perhaps the one major difference is the thumping, 808-heavy disco beat. But, like with Barnett, Chromatics’ sound is solidified by this point. And luckily, they’re still the masters at soundtracking nighttime drives.

“Arabesque” by Coldplay

Coldplay returned this fall with two singles. One was “Orphans,” which had a conventional Coldplay sound (sing-along chorus! aggressive perkiness!) to contrast with an unconventional Coldplay topic (refugees). 

The other was “Arabesque,” which sounds like nothing Coldplay have ever done before. It’s got a hard-hitting Afropop beat, a French interlude, Chris Martin dropping the f-bomb, and most amazingly, a sax solo that’s nearly two minutes long. It’s a weird, jazzy detour for the group — and it’s incredible.

“Falling” by Dude York

Seattle indie rockers Dude York wrote a song about a topic you don’t hear much often in music: romantic complacency. The couple in “Falling” isn’t a bad one — lead singer Claire England makes it clear that she’s having a great time. But she also calls the relationship “practical,” and describes it as a very casual, low-stakes romance. “Falling” brings up the question many long-term couples ask themselves: Weren’t there supposed to be butterflies? Is it bad if our relationship is more cozy than passionate? It’s an intriguing subject, backed by killer rock production.

“Tough Enough” by Ex Hex

Ex Hex’s sound is knowingly old-school. The rip-roaring El Camino-rock of “Tough Enough” could’ve easily been a Pat Benatar or Joan Jett single in the early ‘80s. And that’s what makes it great — who doesn’t love Joan Jett? “Tough Enough” isn’t something you have to think too hard about; it just kicks ass.

“Summer Girl” by HAIM

Asking HAIM to give you a sleek retro-pop song is like asking Spoon to give you a nervy indie rock single: they’ll deliver the goods. But the San Fernando Valley sisters gave their formula a few tweaks with “Summer Girl,” their best single since their 2013 debut.

Instead of their typically slick production, HAIM opted for a barebone, funky ‘70s groove. The vocals rarely go above a whisper. And the most prominent element of the song is a honking sax riff, which sounds like it comes straight from A Tribe Called Quest song. But all these changes don’t erase HAIM’s strongest quality: their solid-gold hooks. And you’ll be humming that doo-doo-do-do-doo chorus for days after hearing “Summer Girl.”

“Nice To Meet Ya” by Niall Horan

I had no expectations for former One Direction member Niall Horan’s new single this year. I didn’t love his previous white-guy-with-acoustic-guitar style, so I didn’t plan on enjoying his new stuff.

But “Nice To Meet Ya” thankfully ditches the acoustic guitar. It’s an extremely late-‘90s breakbeat banger. It’s less Ed Sheeran and more classic Robbie Williams. The song it really reminds me of is Republica’s deathless jock-jam classic “Ready To Go” — all propulsive energy and power. “Nice To Meet Ya” is a bit less aggressive, but it’s still a ton of fun and shows that Harry Styles isn’t the only One Direction alum that can produce a great solo track.

“Hey, Ma” by Bon Iver

At this point, Bon Iver can write these beardy arena-folk anthems in his sleep. But that doesn’t make “Hey, Ma” any less of a great update of that song. Amidst the occasional synth bloop and awkward Boomer-esque weed references (not sure anyone’s unironically said “toking on dope” in a while), the single features one of Justin Vernon’s greatest melodies. If anyone’s wondering how Bon Iver became one of the decade’s premier indie acts, the soaring chorus and powerful melody of “Hey, Ma” is an indicative example.

“Juice” by Lizzo

If it weren’t for a certain baggy clothes-wearing teen, Lizzo would’ve easily been 2019′s biggest breakout artist. But although “Good As Hell” and “Truth Hurts” were her biggest hits, those two songs came out way before 2019. Out of the songs that the Minneapolis popstar actually released this year, “Juice” is the perfect demonstration of her irrepressible charisma.

“Juice” is the best-possible combination of Bruno Mars’ retro-funk exercises and a defiant Kelly Clarkson anthem. Lizzo sounds like the most confident, extroverted person on the planet, slyly bragging about her and her friends’ prowess. It’s not quite on the level of “Uptown Funk,” but “Juice” is still too fun to resist.

“Sucker Punch” by Sigrid

“Sucker Punch” is just the latest edition of a wonderful musical tradition: the sleek, icy Swedish pop song! Wait...*checks notes* turns out Sigrid is actually Norwegian. A country that has less ABBA-style pop and more death metal.

But regardless of what part of Scandinavia she’s from, Sigrid’s “Sucker Punch” is still a textbook-perfect bubblegum single. With its bouncy vibe and explosive chorus, it almost sounds like a lost hit from 2011 or 2012 — a golden age for pop. Sigrid’s thick accent and energy just adds to the charm. Old-school synthpop isn’t in vogue anymore, but at least Sigrid is keeping it alive for now.

“Hurry On Home” by Sleater-Kinney

2019 was not Sleater-Kinney’s best year. The Olympia indie legends’ new album, The Center Won’t Hold, received lukewarm reviews. The momentum from their 2015 reunion was mostly sapped. And most critically, longtime drummer Janet Weiss, one of the best in the biz, quit abruptly, saying she was essentially told that she was no longer a “creative equal” in the group.

But at least the trio delivered one stone-cold Sleater-Kinney classic single before they imploded. “Hurry On Home” is a sleazy, thunderous hard rock jam that would’ve snugly fit on their last album, No Cities To Love. It’s got a bit more of a robotic groove, thanks to producer St. Vincent, but the crunchy guitars are still there. Carrie Brownstein’s sardonic vocals are still there. And that trademark Sleater-Kinney intensity is absolutely still there.

“Superbike” by Jay Som

Jay Som’s stellar 2017 debut album, Everybody Works, dabbled in dream pop, but also dipped its toes into many other subgenres. But the lead single of her sophomore album, “Superbike,” is pure hazy ecstasy.

“Superbike” has a bit of Alvvays in its DNA, particularly in the atmospheric guitars and whispered vocals. But Melina Duterte added a bit more California bliss to that formula. The track sounds like the soundtrack to a tranquil jog down the beach, with the sunrise in the background.

“God Is” by Kanye West

Kanye West can’t sing. He’s warbly and incredibly off-key. And that’s why I love it when he genuinely tries to do so.

Jesus Is King is a mediocre, one-note first draft of an album, but it still has its moments. And my favorite moment on the record is when West puts his lack of vocal talent on display. “God Is” features West trying his darndest to belt over a sample of gospel composer James Cleveland’s song of the same name. And he falls pretty flat on his face. But there’s something still powerful about that, like someone badly singing in church, but with so much conviction. It humanizes West.

[justkeepshuffling]

21 Albums From 2017 Ranked

I probably don't need to explain anything since nobody really seeks my opinion on these matters, but this isn't a "Best Of 2017" from a guy who digests ton's of releases.  These are albums that were (mostly) already on my radar by bands I already enjoy and I'm listing those particular albums in order of my level of enjoyment.  It's been a few years since I've done this, but I'm working overtime until 4am and what better way to stay awake and stimulated?  Ah, music...

21) Circa Survive - 'The Amulet'

I literally downloaded this album and never listened to it.  I think I checked out two music videos and thought, "This seems pretty Circa Survive".  I technically still haven't fully digested 'Violent Waves'.  Sometimes that happens for me.  Someone puts out a record before I've fully absorbed the prior one and I just never catch up accordingly.  My full listen through 2014's 'Descensus' did nothing for me, unfortunately.  I'm not sure if these guys are doing any reinventing.  It mostly feels like mid tempo monotony. 

20) Maroon 5 - ‘Red Pill Blues’

This album holds a special place in my heart since my daughter really took to the single “What Lovers Do (Feat. SZA)”.  When my wife told me this was her favorite song I thought she was just being a cute Mom.  Winds up no matter how fussy she is, the baby stops and smiles when the opening starts.  I could go on about how I miss Maroon 5 having real drums and how little James Valentine gets to let his guitar shine (especially after releasing such a beautiful signature model Ernie Ball guitar), but there’s catchy material all over the place. It’s the Adam Levine show and nobody wants to get off that money train, understandably.  At least I can always think of a beautiful little newborn enjoying music with her beautiful Mama when I think of this album.

19) Kelly Clarkson - 'Meaning Of Life'

Yet another album I never got a front to back session with.  When tracks come up on shuffle I'm usually impressed though.  Once again, I never gave 2015's 'Piece By Piece' a full front to back, nor 2011's 'Stronger'.  I was too busy being in love with 2009's 'All I Ever Wanted', which still stands as her masterpiece. 

18) Less Art - 'Strangled Light'

If you know anything about me, you're probably aware my love for anything Thrice related.  This band features the brotherly rhythm section of Riley Breckenridge (drums) and Eddie Breckenridge (bass in Thrice/guitar in Less Art) so I had to investigate.  While the post hardcore soundtrack is within my taste, the vocal delivery, sadly is not.  I'm a melody man, myself.  I cannot say enough good things about the production.  This is how guitars should sound.  The low end is so thick and distinct.  Everything cuts through.  The guitars are heavy but you hear every note within the chords.  Just beautiful.  Hats off to the engineer, producer and mixer for achieving tonal supremacy.

17) The Killers - 'Wonderful Wonderful'

I may have fizzled out on this band with 'Battle Born', but I was hopeful.  After a full once over, I don't find myself coming back to this often.  Standard rock record, but maybe a little wavering and uninspired.  If they continue putting out records for another decade or so, I'd be curious what gets played from this particular collection.

16) St. Vincent - 'Masseduction'

There's something about Annie Clark.  When I stop and think about her entire catalog, I sometimes ponder if she's overrated.  I honestly think she's just so damn cool that it's hard to say anything negative about her.  She certainly has some great songs and she's a phenomenal guitarist.  I tend to cherry pick with her songs.  I was a bit thrown off by the creative choices on this album.  I certainly don't worship at the altar of Jack Antinoff so I don't understand why everyone seeks him out as a producer (Note: his taste in women is uniquely questionable).  The production is bare, all electronic drums, and less guitar than I would have hoped.  Standout tracks like "New York" and "Los Ageless" are catchy but not much else gripped me.  Expectations are high post Grammy win.  I felt a little let down.

15) Katy Perry - 'Witness'

Speaking of high expectations...  Katy's part of the pop machine now.  The songwriting credits on this album are absurdly astronomical.  2013's 'Prism' was mature and inviting with real raw moments mixed in with the colorful fun.  The few moments on ‘Witness’ that had real possibility didn't pop where they needed.  "Chained To The Rhythm" had a ton of potential but the chorus lacked the brightness to make it stand out.  It just fell flat, like most of the album.  The pre-release tag of “Purposeful Pop” bit her in the ass post-release.  My theory, there were probably 30+ songs written (some of which were, in fact, social conscious) but didn’t make the final cut.  A week prior to the release, there were still only two titles out of about thirteen that were listed on iTunes, which I feel proves she was slighted by the powers that be.  If you don't have full say in your career decisions, maybe don’t make bold statements about your upcoming album.

14) Weezer - 'Pacific Daydream'

I walked into this album expecting disappointment.  2016's self-titled "White Album" was right on par with every other self-titled color release in their catalog as their best work.  Seeing another album coming down the pipe a year later that had an off title left me uneasy.  This album is in a similar vein, albeit not as great as it's predecessor.  It plays a bit more like a good b-sides record from those album sessions.  Very worth the listen, and makes up for some of the mess that 'Hurley' and 'Raditude' left on their hands.

13) Envy On The Coast - 'Ritual'

This EP has been explained as a revisiting of old idea's through the lense of the reformed present.  While Envy On The Coast is "back", it's missing three original members.  When your drummer is as incredible as Dan Gluszak, it's noticeable when he's not there.  I've had many discussions about how a band is never the same after losing their drummer.  It's such a strong part of the blueprint.  I'm not overly familiar with Dillinger Escape Plan's Billy Rymer, but the drumming on this release could have been done by anyone.  Envy vocalist Ryan Hunter drummed on 2010's 'Lowcountry' with descent results, I'm not sure why they didn't go that route again.  Songs like "Virginia Girls" sit right in play with where they had left off.  The songs are a bit straight forward/on the nose.  Perhaps some of the songwriting flare left with the eloped members.  I think this release was to get the lingering idea's of the past out of their system so they can properly attack a full length album next.  Considering how meandering all the post breakup projects were, I'm excited for the future.

12) Glassjaw - 'Material Control'

Fifteen years between full lengths is not ideal.  Most began to give up hope on this mystery record.  That Billy Rymer kid played on this album too!  Unlike 2002's 'Worship & Tribute', some of the songs tend to blend together with only a few true standouts.  Further parallels with Envy on the Coast include writing songs without an official drummer.  With Daryl and Beck doing all the heavy lifting, I can't help but feel that when the time comes to show a studio drummer 12 songs, structure gets watered down.  The tracks lack a sense of adventure, complexity, hard left turns. The vocals are buried in the mix at times, which lends itself to the aggressive bite of the guitar/bass attack.  Alas, it's just nice having something come out finally.

11) Foo Fighters - 'Concrete & Gold'

As my wonderful bass player Joey P. said, "After two career defining albums late in your career, this is the inevitable letdown".  The man is a wordsmith.  Sad but true, and yet...  it's worth noting their mediocre effort is still better than most.  The Greg Kurstin production choice makes zero sense, still.  I think Dave thought it would yield something incredible and people would be amazed by his oddball idea that really paid off.  It did not.  The musicianship is always crisp, so they can hang their hat on that since the songs aren't something you'll come back to again and again.  This is sadly a mostly forgettable album by the biggest band in the world.

10) Haim - 'Something To Tell You'

I waited years for this album.  Chomping at the bit.  Anxious.  Excited.  Impatient.  Guess what...  I barely listen to the damn thing.  I was obsessed with their debut.  Every song was perfectly crafted.  There's some real head scratching moments on this album.  Like producer Rostam Batmanglij using an obvious vocal effect he used on Vampire Weekend albums.  One song features awkward silence as a bridge.  The closer "Right Now" has this off beat drum loop that is damn near impossible to follow which takes you way out of the song because you're trying to nail down the confusing timing.  The girls still shine, and perhaps I just forget that the album is there but I thought with the amount of time invested in writing and recording it would be at least on par with their first album.

9) Brand New - 'Science Fiction'

The elephant in the room.  Sexual misconduct allegations aside, I'm going to concentrate on the music because there's three other band members who invested everything into creating this album and discrediting them would be a disservice to their efforts.  That being said, I listened to this album a lot.  People lost their minds over this surprise release.  I did not.  I was excited, yes.  But let's be clear, peoples obsessive nature for this band clouded their judgment.  It's a good album.  It's not the masterpiece people sold it as.  Considering their penchant for reinvention via back to back releases like 2003's 'Deja Entendu' and 2006's 'The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me', which both served as career defining milestones, an eight year wait should have yielded a much more refined and impressive product.  Still, this record is more tainted by Jesse Lacey's admittance of exploiting his status to take advantage of female fans more than the fact that a very good record isn't a great record.  Who'd have thought that their cheeky T-shirts saying "Brand New 2001-2018" was a much more ambitious timeline than they had anticipated...

8) Portugal. The Man - "Woodstock"

Just a good catchy rock record from a great workhorse of a band.  "Feel It Still" getting radio play should be a victory for us all.  There's a lot of winning moments on this record.  They deserve every bit of success they've worked so long to achieve. 

7) Bush - 'Black & White Rainbows'

Yes, I like Bush.  Gavin is the reason I switched to guitar and became a front man.  Since their "reformation", this music has been questionable, at best.  I hadn't realized how much Nigel and Dave reigned in the songs until they were absent from the process.  Most of Gavin Rossdale's lyrics in the 2010's are complete garbage.  Just meaningless phrases thrown against the wall.  How many ways can one phrase "Don't lose yourself", you ask?  Aside from "what the hell does that even mean?", too many ways apparently.  Here's the thing about this album for me...  I loved the production.  The dry, tight drum sound spoke to me.  The guitars/amps had a vintage pawn shoppe vibe.  It was Hi-fi Lo-fi done to perfection.  Then, out of nowhere...  months later the album is re-released as a "Remaster" with a completely different track listing, two new songs and the lead single has an extended outro chorus.  Lead guitarist Chris Traynor didn't have an answer as to why this happened.  It helped the drums cut through harder and the kick became more vibrant.  It was the right call.  I just wish I was able to blast this album with windows down without feeling embarrassed someone's going to hear the lyrics and lose all respect for me.

6) Dreamcar - 'Dreamcar'

What happens when you mix all the core dudes from No Doubt and AFI's Davey Havok?  You get 80's pop rock bliss!  I was super excited to hear this album and I probably don't listen to it as often as I should.  Not having any expectations or label constraints truly comes across in the music.  It's the musicianship you've come to expect from Tom, Adrian and Tony with the vocal theatrics of later-era AFI with touches of The Cure, Kraftwerk, and countless other New Wave/Post Punk influences.

5) SAINTE - 'Smile & Wave'

I wasn't familiar with Tay Jardine's prior band We Are The In Crowd.  I'm not even sure how I stumbled upon this band.  Maybe Youtube?  Either way, this 7 song EP blew me away.  The production is pristine.  The drums sound huge, the guitars and bass are so full, almost like an Eric Valentine produced record without the gritty/metallic/digital tinge he sometimes gets.  The melodies soar, they're memorable, they're fun.  I wish they had perhaps waited and recorded another 3 songs to make a proper full length.  I can't imagine the challenges of being a female rock vocalist in a post-Paramore landscape but if this is a band finding it's leg's, the future is incredibly bright.

4) Minus The Bear - 'VOIDS'

I'm realizing drummers are a recurring theme in this post.  Minus The Bear traditionally wrote the foundation of their records with guitarist Dave Knudson and drummer Erin Tate.  After Erin's vague dismissal, they had to regroup.  It's odd hearing a release without the heavy handed hi-hat work, but it still feels like a Minus The Bear album.  A casual listener may not take notice, but it's certainly an adjustment with keyboardist Alex Rose taking lead vocals on 3 of the 10 tracks.  While some tracks hit the mark, there's a few slow drones in the mix.  The only unfortunate moment is the climactic ending on closer "Lighthouse". The "A Day In The Life" style noisy build to a cool 16-bit, glitchy, audible seizure seems like an idea they tacked on to a song that was in the same key but doesn't quite follow the songs chord progression.  It confuses the musician in me.  Sometimes you have to let an idea go, no matter how much you love it.  Serve the song.  This was a transitional period navigated better than most.  The next release will be the true test of their ability to gel with the new method of songwriting.

3) Incubus - '8'

So many polarizing, conflicting feelings with this album.  How do you wrap your head around an album with such catchy songs yet such garbage production?  Let's start with the negatives.  This album is really only 9 songs.  The instrumental track is a total throwaway and the mariachi joke song "When I Became A Man" should have been a hidden track at best.  If you combine the prior EP "Trust Fall Side-A", you have a proper full length to be proud of.  Now let's talk production.  Holy hell, it's God awful.  Dave Sardy apparently made Brandon do a million vocal takes and when his voice was good and shredded, used the last wreck of a take.  Guitarist Mike Einziger, a Harvard grad, and a wildly underrated and innovative guitarist had the batshit crazy idea to have Skrillex come in and mix the album.  Dr. Wubwub Laptop Millionaire went even further and restructured songs and removed pre chorus' on top of it.  I'm hoping for the 20 year anniversary edition of this album they'll release the album we should have received.  I want to know Incubus' vision and perhaps a proper mix that doesn't sound like noisy kids trying to blow out your car speakers.  The redemption?  It's hooky as hell.  There's a reason these guys are huge.  They write catchy rock songs.  There's a few odd lyrical moments, but I can get past it.  Lead single "Nimble Bastard" is way to similar to the aforementioned EP's "Dance Like You're Dumb".  I'm still hoping to find out the "vision" for this album.  If I had to guess, they wanted a hard hitting gritty garage rock sound that was a nod to their debut full length 'S.C.I.E.N.C.E.' to compliment/balance the more refined rock they currently create.  Still, nothing will touch 2011's Brendan O'Brien produced 'If Not Now, When?'.  This album might have been a knee jerk reaction to the atmospheric, sparse, mellow vibe of that record.  I would have been equally as happy with a continuation of that mindset.  Though, a hard rock record still feels right for this band.

2) Paramore - 'After Laughter'

The last time I did one of these lists was 2013, and Paramore's self titled album was my number one pick that year.  Here we are in 2018, reviewing 2017 and boy was it close.  So close!  I probably listened to this album the most over the course of the year.  Negate the artsy back patting exploration of "No Friend", which serves nothing more to the album than a self indulgent excuse to have the Me Without You singer inaudibly mumble over a painfully droning outro to "Idol Worship", and you have a perfect record.  Now that we have that out of the way, we can discuss everything they did right with this album.  The 80's aesthetic even has a place in the experience.  After the prior albums brilliance, it was a logical move to stick with producer Justin Meldal-Johnsen.  Where the prior album had bells, whistles and flourishes all over the place; 'After Laughter' has a more spacious sound.  Not to say if you don't pay close attention you won't find wonderful additions all over the place, but the production and mix on this album was a bit more bare bones.  The structures are simpler, the songs are dancier, and the flow is damn near perfect.  The guitars shine when necessary, and the neck pickup finds it's place on the bouncier riffs.  Zac Farro's return to the drum riser shows off what he learned in his time away.  Groove.  The drumming is not that of a rock drummer.  It's someone who's peppering in rhythmic atmosphere and holding back when necessary.  I was so invested in the upbeat tone of the music that I hadn't noticed the writing on the wall.  The lyrics should have tipped me off that things weren't so great in Hayley Williams' camp.  When she announced her very quick post nuptial split from NFG microphone hog Chad Gilbert, the information was in front of us the entire time.  The dark lyricism over the backdrop of uplifting tunes is reminiscent of early Saves The Day records, which, considering the reach of their influence was likely a conscious decision.  This might not have been a step forward in their sound, but a playfully necessary sidestep for a band that felt they were maturing faster than they wanted to.

1) Michelle Branch - 'Hopeless Romantic'

Oh the shit-eating grin on my face right now.  I didn't expect this either.  But holy effing hell!  What an album!  I downloaded this out of sheer curiosity.  2017 was the year of overdue albums and this one beat Glassjaw and Brand New by a mile.  It seemed odd for such a big pop star to go without releasing a full length for fourteen years.  Then to find out she had the Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney producing/performing seemed really interesting.  Winds up the guy is incredible at producing.  Every song is a perfectly crafted pop song.  Not bubble gum pop, but rock songs that could all be radio singles.  If I had to chose a criticism, it would be that "Knock Yourself Out" sounds too Michelle Branch-y.  Like, the Michelle Branch of the early aught's.  There's a vintage feel to the soundscape.  The bass is plucky, the drums are dry and punchy, and the melodies are what dreams are made of.  This collection has been a reminder that you can worry about a million aspects of a song, but a solid catchy melody is what we're all looking for.  It's brought me back to what truly counts in song writing.  A song you can sing along to.  There's not much more I can say about this album.  My inability to dissect this album is truly it's strong suit.  When a great song works, it just works.  Sometimes it comes together so quick you can't even explain the process.  Imagine that 12 times over.  Sometimes it's that simple.

[tendance-news]

Let me guess why you’re here…

You’re a pretty decent guy, cultivated, educated, you dress fairly well, your friends say you’re caring and kind, you’re relatively charming and YET… You don’t understand why things aren’t working with women they way you’d like.

Read this carefully….

Problem #1

You don’t understand why your best friend, who’s really cute, dates an asshole and is totally in love with him. You don’t understand why your relationship with this new girl began well enough but now she’s not returning your calls, or your texts, and when you get her on the phone she tells you she’s been busy.

Problem #2

You still don’t understand what went wrong on your first date with her, since it seemed to go fairly well, you brought your A-game, you called her before the date to check if she was still coming, you reminded her from time to time how happy you were to see her and to go on a date with her, and you sent her a reassuring little text message telling her to get home safely.

AND YET…

You don’t understand her attitude, which you find utterly strange and quite simply incomprehensible.

AND YET… You paid for dinner at a nice restaurant !

Problem #3

You’re here, with us, because you’re sick of always ending up as every “girl’s favorite friend.” There’s one girl you’ve tried to seduce with your kindness and your big heart, and EVERYTHING has gone well between you :

You get along wonderfully, just the way an ideal couple is supposed to, but something happened when you decided to take the next step.

Your sweet adorable princess thought it was a better idea to just continue being friends, and she doesn’t want — absolutely doesn’t want — to lose you, because you’re so close to her, and she can tell you everything, absolutely EVERYTHING!

“You know, I really like you… I don’t want to ruin the beautiful friendship between us, I don’t want to lose you… I’d rather stay friends!”

Does this sentence ring a bell? Do you know what it REALLY means? Do you want to know? Okay… but not right now…

Problem #4

Furthermore, you think women are strange and incomprehensible creatures, and that you have to be a good looking guy with a great build and tons of money before you can finally date really beautiful girls, who you think are more and more materialistic and more and more obsessed with the power of money… Come on… I can reassure you that I think the same thing, but that same thing is FALSE my friend, and in fact, what I meant to say is that I THOUGHT the same thing… and to reassure you again, it’s an image our society creates: materialistic and arrogant girls who are only looking for ultra-wealthy guys…

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!

The facts you’re about to discover on http://ift.tt/2y7AH4i will prove the contrary to you, and all you need to do is to be patient and pay attention. Let’s continue…

Problem #5

Furthermore, EVERY day you run into hundreds of pretty girls who make your head spin and you give yourself a flattering little pat on the back, they’re so beautiful and magnificent that you can’t take your eyes off of them, and there are even some who glance at you for just a second:

You play a little game where you exchange glances, then it’s already over, you WANT to go talk to her, but you don’t know what to say or what to talk about, you think she’s going to reject and humiliate you, because, apparently, girls like that must already have their super-rich boyfriends, right?

Once again…

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!

On http://ift.tt/2yOOhx7, you will NEVER AGAIN hear that little voice end at the end of the day telling you: “Oh if only I went up to talk to her, I should have said this, and that, and this might have worked, it’s alright that’s what I’ll do next time.”

The bad news is that there’s never going to be a next time, but the good news is that, from now on, you’ll learn how to meet the girls that YOU want, that YOU desire, that YOU choose… You’ll know exactly what to say to get their phone numbers, or better yet, to get a date right on the spot!

It’s really easy, you’ll see…

Problem #6

Finally, if you don’t understand the behavior of your adorable girlfriend, you no longer understand her emotional crises and her endless bullshit, you no longer understand why she raises her voice and talks in a more and more aggressive tone, you no longer understand why she gets all MADE UP, but never to go out with YOU, and goes out with her FRIENDS instead, and you no longer understand why she tells you that it’s just a girls’ night out.

Two months ago she wouldn’t leave you alone, she constantly criticized your friends when you spent time with them, when you had your guys’ night out and your evenings of PlayStation with the boys… But your sweet little friend has changed… Do you want to know why?

Okay…

Let me set things straight right now!

Seduction is an art form, with its own rules and its own goals. Today, learning to be seductive is an crucial element in good manners. So allow me, then, to eliminate the little pests that are making your life miserable.

Here’s one!!!

Oh yeah…

Solution #1

You’re caring and thoughtful, you make a point of caring about girls you barely know and it’s… IDIOTIC! Why should you care about girls when you don’t even know them, why are you doing favors for them when you don’t even know who they are!

Why do you want to pay for them when you don’t even know who they are…

Why?

Because it will make you seem caring and attentive? Take it from me… that’s not the way it works… You just look like an ass-kisser, like a little dog who doesn’t know what’s going on, who always misses the point, TOO MUCH KINDNESS KILLS! Being too caring reflects, psychologically, a lack of confidence, it reflects a mediocre and horrible personality. A person who hides behind kindness, is an ABNORMALLY built person, and girls hate guys who are too nice, guys who are ass-kissers.

All women dream of a confident and effective man, who’s capable of protecting and reassuring them, a VIRILE and dominant man. Frankly, a guy who’s too nice, would he be able to protect a woman? Actually she’s the one who’ll wind up protecting him… and that’s something girls DO NOT want.

THEREFORE… first fact… Stop being TOO nice to girls, place your right hand over your heart and repeat after me:

“From now on, I am a loyal reader of http://ift.tt/2yOOhx7, and I swear not to be TOO nice to girls, because it’s neither seductive nor exciting, I’m going to stop being TOO nice.”

Aaaaaamen!

Good. Now that you’ve accepted the first condition of our Club SeductionByKamal©, let me tell you something else.

Solution #2

When a girl would rather stay friends with you, well now my dear friend, she’s laughing in your face… flat out!

Yes, it’s the truth, and here’s why!

Because you’re nice, because you call her all the time on the phone, because you frequently send her romantic text messages that you read on the internet, or that you saw on television. Because you ALWAYS pay. Because you take her out to a restaurant on the first date. Because you give her gifts. Because you pay her compliments all the time. Because you buy her chocolates. Because you give her EVERYTHING… which she finds predictable and NOT exciting, she already knows everything to expect from you, you’re transparent, she can see EVERYTHING. She’ll never think, even for a second, that the right man for her will be a kiss-ass who tries to buy her love with gifts and restaurants.

What I’m about to tell you may be upsetting, but it’s what I’ve discovered through all these years of research on the art of seduction.

A girl who would rather stay friends, is an egotistical bitch who doesn’t want to deprive herself of the happiness you bring her, but the problem is that she finds you UNATTRACTIVE, completely and utterly! For her, you’re nothing but a little pet she can manipulate with no problems, when she wants and when she chooses. Remaining her friend means remaining her pet. You probably guessed as much yourself, am I right? Oh that’s cool then, you’re already starting to get the hang of things.

So YES, NEVER again accept the disguised friendship of a girl you tried to seduce, we don’t spend time with people who don’t like us… place your left hand over your heart, and repeat after me:

“Any girl who asks me to remain her friend, I’ll tell her to get lost, I’m not a pet! There are millions and millions of other girls who’ll be happy to be with me.”

Aaaaaaaaaaaamen!

Solution #3

Our society creates a false image of women.

In fact, we think they’re ALL, without exception, materialistic creatures hungry for money; and that’s completely wrong! Women, like all human beings, are looking for comfort and well-being, they’re trying to be around people who are intelligent and pleasant to live with, people who are confident!

Here’s what I’ve discovered…

Men with money, who have fancy cars and so forth… are confident people, they have CONFIDENCE in themselves… They exude confidence and self-assurance! And it’s contagious !! It’s visible and people can sense it, especially women.

Take my cousin Zack.

Zack has a beautiful red car, which makes him a star where he lives, whenever he passes by, people recognize him. Suddenly, he’s aware that people know who he is, so he doesn’t need to show people his real personality, he feels more and more confident. His car offers him pleasure mixed with confidence and assurance. It’s a question of psychology, guys.

Robert Cialdini, in his book The Psychology of Persuasion, called this the principle of “social proof,” we’ll have a chance to come back to this subject to pursue it a little further.

Therefore, thanks to social proof, we automatically assume wealthy people have qualities like talent, goodness, honesty, and intelligence. This judgment we’re forming is made unconsciously! That’s what makes them the most desired and desirable people!

And in the final score, you judge women to be materialistic, you think that they’re inaccessible and unattainable, you wind up putting them on a pedestal and you think they’re actually princesses. NOT ANY MORE!!!

Place your right hand over your heart and repeat after me:

“Never again will I consider women to be materialistic, and never again will I put them on a pedestal.”

Now close your eyes with me, and say out loud:

“I have confidence in myself, I’m not afraid to show my real personality to people, to WOMEN, I have confidence in myself, and I ALWAYS will have it, for the rest of my life.”

Aaaaaaamen!

Solution #4

Now, let’s take a look at these girls you come across in the street, in cafes, in bars, in college, at work, everywhere.

Throughout your journey on http://ift.tt/2y7AH4i, you’ll learn how to master the art of opening conversations with women without being overbearing or clingy like all the other Saturday-night-Losers and scammers.

Together we’ll look at the proper techniques to make you into a pick-up and seduction artist, but let me warn you right away…

If you don’t practice them, you’ll never become a seduction artist, you’ll never have the talent and subtlety to talk to women…

Solution #5

Finally, if you’re in a relationship, and things aren’t going the way they used to with your girlfriend…

LEAVE HER !!

WITHOUT the least hesitation, without the slightest explanation.

Ignore her attempts to get you back, it will teach her a lesson for next time. Women are not like us men, as soon as they hear alarm bells, they start looking left and right for a new companion, but meanwhile we men desperately look for solutions to save our relationship.

Did you notice the difference?? Then learn to leave her properly, and, above all, honestly!

When your sweetheart starts messing around and telling you lies, it’s easier to overcome your broken heart at the beginning of a relationship than at the end. Read that last sentence again and memorize it WELL in your head. Let me remind you again, do not be TOO nice, and be virile, be a MAN, a real one…

The category containing ALL the articles about couples, is right here >>

Solution #6

There you are, my friend. We’ve arrived at the end of this presentation, at the end of the philosophy of SeductionByKamal© which from now on will travel with you down the path to your new life, your new life as a seduction artist ;)

From now on, the ball is in your court. But careful, I’m not asking you to change your personality, but instead, I’m inviting you to sculpt it. Seduction works through personal development, and working on your inner self, that’s YOUR key to success.

I wish you a happy journey on SeductionByKamal.com, and I warmly invite you to sign up for free on the site, to receive my personalized advice. You can also download my free eBook right HERE >>

[terrancedkennedy]

AWE Wages Picture is Worse Than It Looks; Why Is The Curve Still So Flat?

“Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier!” --Howard Cosell

I used to have a colleague that would giddily exclaim, “Down Goes Frazier!” anytime he was short a bond that flashed, “HIT” on the broker screens. Since he was pretty good at his job, it became so ubiquitous on the desk that it was easy to forget where it originated.  

Those of us that grew up in the 90s remember George Foreman as a lovable middle aged man that made a living beating up mediocre boxers and selling indoor grilling equipment. But in the 70s, he was a total badass. Foreman pummelled the champ into virtual submission, knocking him down six times before the ref stopped the fight midway through the second round.   

So that was the phrase that went through my head when I saw that negative NFP print. The unthinkable has come true….A seven year streak of positive prints is over.

An awful number, even looking through the noise from the hurricane? Not by a long shot. UE continued lower, indicating there was no easing of labor market conditions. More importantly, average hourly earnings grew faster than expected, and continued a trend higher that has been intact since early this year.

I’m always a little suspect of YoY numbers since they are by definition dependent on what happened a year ago--a look at annualized AHE over the last three months, seasonally adjusted paints a rather surprising picture:

.

Pretty clear picture there. Three periods of recent history--2010 to 2015, when wages bumbled around 2%....2015 to early 2017, when they bounced around 2.5%. Now one could reasonably infer wages are set to find a new range at or above 3%.

And yes, the Fed has hiked interest rates, and has the torpedoes armed and ready to deploy in December. Yet the curve remains amazingly flat--no doubt in part because of this year’s low headline inflation prints implying we may be near the end of the economic cycle. But with the recent prints in payrolls/wages and some good arguments for why headline CPI is understating financial conditions, seems like 2/5s should be a little closer to the steeps than the flats, when there is little evidence the Fed is going to waterboard the economic recovery with an aggressive hiking cycle.

And we all know what USD has done this year--until the past few weeks anyway.

Why does the curve refuse to steepen?  This chart is from Kashkari’s diatribe last week. The FOMC’s most dovish voice says,

“I believe the most likely causes of persistently low inflation are additional domestic labor market slack and falling inflation expectations…..I will argue that the FOMC’s policy to remove monetary accommodation over the past few years is likely an important factor driving inflation expectations lower.”

I think the above evidence takes an ax to the first leg of Kashkari’s labor market argument. And the second? The clear implication is that the combination of tapering asset purchases, hiking rates, and eliminating SOMA re-investments (that is, reducing the balance sheet) has over-tightened monetary conditions.  

I think Kashkari has misidentified the source of lower inflation expectations. Market-implied inflation expectations fall by definition when there are buyers of nominal rate bonds relative to inflation linkers.  Without kicking the hornet’s nest of term premium arguments, the NY Fed’s ACM term premium model shows a steady if unspectacular increase in short-term forward rates with the term premium still solidly in negative territory.  

Source: New York Fed

The bottom line is that there is a ton of demand for assets relative to the marginal propensity to consume. Global investors want to buy more long-duration assets relative to the quantity being issued by either the government, or corporate borrowers, forcing down future returns.  That doesn't foreshadow lower inflation. It illustrates easy financial conditions.

That demand for assets extends not only to foreign corporations and individuals, but also to central banks. Remember a year ago when smart people we saying there was a floor below which the PBOC’s foreign reserves could not sustainably fall? If it ever existed, it is nearly $100 billion in the rear-view mirror now.

And the Chinese aren’t the only ones--the US current account deficit combined with resurgent manufacturing demand has put foreign central banks into overdrive to limit the appreciation of their domestic currencies. Foreign central banks have purchased roughly $200 billion of treasuries this year.

One might think that reflected a global interest in buying US Treasuries--but foreign private investors have added a modest $24 billion this year. Any chance that money is going into spread product???

Which brings us nicely back to this:

The Economist gives us about one of these per year. It just shouts out “contrary indicator”. Twitter practically had kittens.

Take the time to read through the article, it’s actually pretty good. They go through a number of arguments for how we got here and what might happen next. Only one did I find rather dubious--the suggestion that we are near the endgame because there are more people in developed markets starting to retire, and as they burn off assets real interest rates will be forced to rise.

That ignores billions of people in emerging markets. Not only are they in a better demographic situation--they are living longer as their standard of living increases.

A recent paper by the San Francisco Fed shows that it is actually life expectancy rather than demographics that has driven real rates lower over the past thirty years.That means as people in EM countries increase their living standards, they are not only making more money, they are hoarding more of it in anticipation of living a long and fruitful life, which pushes global real interest rates lower. More on this subject later this week.

We can parse this market in practically any way we like--bemoaning the lust for cov-lite, sub-investment grade bonds,  Argentine bonds with comically long times to maturity,  levered short vol positions, or private equity, but at the end of the day there is a ton of money chasing assets, and not enough scary stuff happening in the world to convince them to change course.

History tells us these trends don’t end well. But we don’t know when the music stops. The Fed doesn’t want to be the villain that breaks the market--but there’s a ton of evidence I’ve noted here that argue financial conditions are too loose, and even by its own measures, core inflation isn’t telling the whole story.  I just can’t get away from the memory of 2004-2006, when the fed hiked 25bps every meeting for three years and still armed the greatest financial weapon of mass destruction history has ever seen.

To the Fed Governors...I know you guys love your jobs but look at your own numbers...to borrow from Reagan…”Doctor Yellen, Steepen this Curve!”

[bestpontoonboats-blog]

Best Pontoon Boats - Guide and Reviews

Nowadays everyone wants to spend some time with friends and family whether they are tired to work for a long time. As like as other basic needs it has become one of them to spend some time for enjoyment. Although there are many ways to spend leisure time like biking, hiking or climbing to hills but most remarkable ways to spend some time on the river or sea. However, it is a wonderful way to enjoy some hours to days very closed to nature and get some memorable moments with nearest people.

Whether you are planning to go to sea to the river for holidays, you might need a pontoon boat to ensure safety and proper entertainment. Although there are many kinds of pontoon boats are in the market with a variety of designs, features, and specifications, but you need the best pontoon boats that can ensure all the required sites including capacity, capability, safety and source of entertainment.

Whatever, although pontoon boats are a great career that can offer some exciting and enjoyable moments but it is not easy to find your desired boat because of many options exist in the market. To make you relax, here I am going to show to some specifications and features that indicate about the best pontoon boat for you.

Safety

Safety is the primary consideration for a pontoon boat. With your pontoon boat, you might go to the middle of the sea or river that is little risky. It is the first thing that you are traveling by the pontoon boat for enjoyment that that should be safe and secured. However, at the middle of sea, your total safety depends on the pontoon that that is carrying your and your all of your gears. With all the latest pontoon boats has additional safety systems including weather signals, GPS to get actual directions and life jackets to get an instant safety. However, although different boats have different features and safety systems you have to fold that has optimum levels of safety.

Capacity Of Boat

Boat capacity is another remarkable consideration. You must be visited on a pontoon boat with few people including friends and family that require comparatively large size but whether you are planning to travel you and your dearest one that might require small size. Whether you are thinking about the best pontoon boat that should consist your required capacity.

Motor Capacity

The motor is the key component of a pontoon boat that works to drive and ensure driving speed. However, you should not choose any pontoon, which does not have enough speed. Unfortunately, sometimes you may face any natural disasters, and you have to drive fast that time. You should select a pontoon boat that has the extra ability with high RPM motor speed.

Although there are many kinds of pontoons are in the market, but the best pontoon boat contains above-mentioned specifications and features that ensure all of your configurations to offer an exciting river of sea trip. You have to determine that only a perfect pontoon boat can offer enjoyment.

Top Pontoon Boats Reviews

When it involves pontoon boats, many folks still think about a stodgy, slow putt-around-the-lake. Created for fun, yes, however additional like cocktail hour than rock in’ party. His name is changing—and quick, several of the newest and greatest pontoons supply speed, handling, soundness, and even the flexibility to be used as legit tow boats for sport and wake boarding. nonetheless they haven’t abandoned their strengths: traveler comfort and amenities haven’t been additional comfortable or various. And if you are observation your pennies there’s excellent news for you, too. Leave off a number of those plush amenities and speed, and basic models are often had for as very little as $8,000. And yes, that’s with a motor, wise guy.

Thinking of standardization into the ‘ton? Here are ten of our current favorites (in no explicit order), sure to please any passion—and any depth of pocketbook.

Edgy and ultra-modern, the greenish blue area 250 XP is clearly designed to attractiveness to your immature nature.

Edgy and ultra-modern, the greenish blue area 250 XP is clearly designed to attractiveness to your immature nature.

 AQUA Patio 250

Here’s a pontoon that’s clearly targeted to attractiveness to the younger client. Simply explore the jittery styling  instead of classic perimeter fencing, the 250 sports wrought fiber glass seating modules fore and aft. Forward, they furnish this party barge the sleek and horny lines of a motorcar. After those seating modules do likewise and that they additionally hide rear-facing rumble seats designed to require during a water sports show which is increased by a sleek tow tower. The latter’s supports are even with boldness integrated into the craft’s jittery exterior lines.

 Watch Greenish blue area 250 XP: Video Boat Review

With up to three hundred out there H.P., the categorical has the facility to deliver on its promise. Triple pontoons are outsizes to 27” diameter and sport lifting stakes on the middle tube, similarly because the inside the outer tubes. The mix delivers aggressive handling, however avoids excessive lean  massive tubes additionally prove an honest match for giant crowds, similarly as larger waters. For additional information, visit the greenish blue area 250 categorical web page.

Premier pontoon boats The Cast-a-Way can hook anglers yearning for pontoons of a fishier nature.

The Cast-a-Way can hook anglers yearning for pontoons of a fishier nature.

 PREMIER 220 CAST-A-WAY 

Plenty of fun gets done aboard a pontoon, however these versatile platforms additionally see lots of  alternative favorite pastime—fishing. Premier’s Cast-a-Way caters to the latter crowd with a composite fish station aft with associate degree integrated live well, and 2 flanking fishing chairs. The well lid is a bait-prep station, with nooks shaped into the duvet to carry lures, hooks, and tools. constitutional lockable rod lockers and tackle trays are within sight, and full aft space is roofed in vinyl for straightforward clean-up. The helm options another live well, a sink, and a Low race fish finder.

 In customary trim with 2 25” pontoons and a hundred and fifteen H.P. outboard, the Cast-a-Way is an inexpensive model that gets the task done nicely. Those wish for additional power and additional aggressive handling will possibility up to Premier’s PTX package, that adds a 3rd 36” tube to the combination, with a flat planning surface to produce carry.  For more, verify the Premier 220 Cast-a-Way.

  Things to consider before buying the Best Pontoon Boats

When selecting pontoon boats you need to consider many factors. One among the mistakes that 1st time patrons create is presumptuous that value and capability area unit the sole factors that matter. It’s true those 2 are unit necessary. However there are a unit alternative things that you simply need to account for.

  We know however laborious it are often to settle on a pontoon boat. Initially look it’d appear to be they are all a similar. However, we’ve plenty of expertise with pontoon boats and may tell the good ones from the mediocre

Float Tube VS Pontoon Boat :

These 2  terms are  unit used interchangeably. Technically speaking, pontoon boats area unit larger and additional powerful, however what very matters as long because the specs match your needs.

 Heavy Weight Pontoon Boats:

A pontoon boat are often thought-about of the serious duty kind if you’ll use it in rivers. a standard float tube is simply appropriate for lakes, therefore if you’re reaching to fish in rivers, certify it’s the serious duty kind.

Fiberglass materials Pontoon Boats:

Some pontoon boats have fiber glass materials. They’re light-weight and sturdy enough, however repairs are often expensive compared to alternative pontoon boat material. Foam: plenty of pontoon boats area unit crammed with foam, the most reason being it offers the boat a solid fill and fewer doubtless to leak.

Inflatable:

these area unit the foremost well-liked forms of pontoons these days. you merely inflate the pontoon to use, that makes them sensible for plenty of fishermen. Since they deflate you’ll automotivery one in an exceedingly backpack or in your car. They’re conjointly on the market in several capacities and may be employed in a range of fishing locations.

Classic Accessories:

If you go browsing and browse reviews, you’ll notice that pontoon boats from Classic Accessories area unit usually mentioned. Why is that? For starters, their pontoon float tubes and boats area unit of the best quality. They’ve conjointly kick off with totally different pontoon boats to satisfy the requirements of assorted customers.

How To find the most effective Pontoon Boats for you.

Weight

The lighter the float tube the higher particularly if you’re conveyance on alternative gear. but you need to not concentrate on weight alone. a light-weight pontoon boat should still be made up of sturdy materials therefore it’ll hindrance. 

Capacity

A single seat pontoon boat includes a capability of a minimum of three hundred lbs. up to 450 lbs. Those designed for 2 have a capability of 650 lbs. quite enough for 2 individuals. However, you need to ne'er pack a pontoon boat therefore it’s at the most capability as that would have an effect on its performance.

Backrest

A superior pontoon boat includes a snug and adjustable back. It’s laborious to stress however necessary this is often. If you’re reaching to pay the complete day fishing on the pontoon, you've got to be as snug as potential. There ought to even be a cushy and adjustable ottoman.

Pockets and Storage

Well-designed pontoon boats have many pockets and storage compartments. typically there’s a mixture of zippered and mesh pockets and a rear storage. If you’re going fishing, additional pockets and storage are going to be necessary because it reduces the things you've got to hold in your bag.

All right, currently that you simply apprehend the pertinent facts regarding pontoon boats, it’s time we tend to took a glance at the reviews. Regarding pontoon boats, it’s time we tend to took a glance at the reviews.

[obtusemedia]

In Ascending Order: Ranking Taylor Swift’s singles worst to best

After slowly tilting her sound away from Nashville more and more with each album, Taylor Swift made a clean break from country five years ago with her synthpop masterpiece, 1989. It was about as successful as a pop album could be, producing three massive #1 hits and cementing Swift as the world’s biggest popstar.

Fast forward three years, and her next album, reputation, was bitter and moody — a good fit for the American landscape of 2017, but a far cry from the bright melodies and fun sing-a-longs of her previous smashes, Red and 1989. The lead single hit #1, but quickly stumbled down the charts and the album’s follow-up singles didn’t have the same impact. But you’ll still find those who defend reputation, and a year and a half later, it’s clear there are some gems hidden in the wreckage. 

Now that Swift is entering her 30th year of life with a catalogue that’s ran the gamut from country-fried ballads about teen crushes to vengeful electropop bangers about Kanye West, I thought it was a good time to look back on her career. Because despite her negative (sorry) reputation right now, Swift has contributed many great songs to the modern pop canon.

Here’s the ground rules: The song had to be a single from one of Taylor Swift’s six albums. No deep cuts (apologies to “All Too Well”), no soundtrack tunes (sorry, Fifty Shades) and no featured spots on others’ songs (asking me to listen voluntarily to John Mayer is too much to ask, sorry).

#37: “End Game” feat. Future and Ed Sheeran (reputation, 2017)

Listen, Taylor, if you want to have guest rappers on your single, that’s fine. But maybe get, you know, actual rappers. Ed Sheeran doing his awkward schtick certainly does not count. If this was a hip-hop flavored pop song, fine — then why is legitimate rapper Future here? The Atlanta trap icon feels so out of place on this gentrified R&B cut, and he only gets a few bars anyways, making his appearance seem more like Swift wanting cred more than anything else.

Honestly, if that was the only problem, “End Game” wouldn’t be last place on this list. But nope, the song itself is a giant mess in itself. The production aims for sexy and nocturnal and lands in lethargic. And what is this song even about? Is Taylor making a song about how cool she and her boyfriend are, or about her negative reputation? The post-chorus, which suddenly veers into that later topic, tries so desperately to be a chant-along and it falls utterly flat.

With all of Swift’s other singles, even the ones I don’t like, I at least understand how someone could like it. But I have no clue who “End Game” is for, or who would enjoy listening to it.

#36: “Ours” (Speak Now, 2010)

I’ve listened to this song many times, and I find it hard to remember a single hook or line. “Ours” isn’t aggressively awful, but it is painfully bland, and I have no plans on listening to this nondescript ballad after I’m done writing this.

#35: “Fifteen” (Fearless, 2008)

I can’t take away the good intentions of “Fifteen.” The general message of being wary of manipulative older men (or, in this case, high school seniors) and enjoying youth while it lasts is nice, if a bit cliché.

But this song still bugs me. Swift sings the story of her and her (real-life!) friend Abigail’s experiences as ninth-graders like she’s a wise elder, looking back with years of experience. But she was only 18 when she wrote “Fifteen” — I’m sure she matured some in those three years, but once you realize that, it makes the whole song come off as fairly condescending.

Couple the after-school special lyrics with a sickeningly sweet acoustic guitar musical style, and “Fifteen” doesn’t hit the mark.

#34: “Gorgeous” (reputation)

The lyrics aren’t the problem here (except that any Angeleno knows that at the intersection of Sunset and Vine, it’s just a Walgreens). Nah, it’s the shrink-wrapped production that drives me nuts. There was the potential for a great, 1989-esque pop song here, but it got neutered.

#33: “Mean” (Speak Now)

Given that Swift eventually became the music industry’s Regina George, this song has aged horribly. Also, this sounds way too much like the Country Bear Jamboree for me to take it seriously.

#32: “Bad Blood” feat. Kendrick Lamar (1989, 2014)

The worst song from Swift’s best album, “Bad Blood” is a clunky mess that frankly doesn’t go hard enough. If you’re going to make a diss track towards Katy Perry, go for the kill shot! Prism was mediocre, her whole look was tacky, she wrote this disaster — Swift had plenty of options. But I guess she felt adding a couple phoned-in Kendrick Lamar verses, getting Selena Gomez and Lena Dunham (??) in the music video, and spouting clichés did the job better. *shrugs* At least it’s catchy.

(Side note: Perry obviously lost that feud, but “Teenage Dream” is absolutely flawless and probably better than any song Swift wrote)

#31: “Everything Has Changed” feat. Ed Sheeran (Red, 2012)

“Everything Has Changed” has a gorgeous, wilting chorus, and Swift and Sheeran have clear chemistry. Beyond that, it’s unfortunately kind of forgettable.

#30: “Fearless” (Fearless)

I’m honestly not sure why this needed to be a single. It’s fine and all, but it doesn’t stick in the brain compared to Fearless’ other smash hits.

#29: “New Year’s Day” (reputation)

Ending the brash reputation with a quiet, sparse piano ballad was a smart move, and the bittersweet “New Year’s Day” is a solid enough tune. 

But here’s the thing — Swift wasn’t the only popstar in 2018 to put a minimalist, Jack Antonoff-produced piano song on her album. Lorde did nearly the exact same thing just a few months earlier with the heartbreaking “Liability,” which is much rawer and more intense than “New Year’s Day.” In other words, when I hear Swift’s ballad, I enjoy it, but I find myself wishing she went for the emotional jugular like Lorde did.

#28: “Tim McGraw” (Taylor Swift, 2006)

Here’s the part where I admit that I’m really not into country music, so a lot of Swift’s very early material isn’t for me. But, like with other genres I don’t love, I can at least respect talent, and “Tim McGraw” is a great piece of detailed, nuanced songwriting. But acoustic-y country ballads will never be my favorite.

#27: “The Last Time” feat. Gary Lightbody (Red)

Here, we have the opposite situation as “Tim McGraw” — a musical style I love, but not done very well.

These types of Coldplay-esque, faux-indie power ballads were totally my thing back in the day (shoutout to The Fray and obviously, Coldplay). But although “The Last Time” does have real bonafides with its soaring chorus, great guitar solo, and Snow Patrol frontman Gary Lightbody contributing vocals, it just doesn’t click. The duo doesn’t have a lot of chemistry, and the epic feel shoots for “Chasing Cars” and lands closer to...one of Snow Patrol’s other songs that nobody remembers.

#26: “...Ready For It?” (reputation)

I’d love to just make a snarky joke about Swift trying to rap and embarrassing herself in the process (which she kind of does) ... but I can’t lie, this is a total guilty pleasure. It’s about as close to a classic Ke$ha song as we’re going to get in the gloomy late-2010′s, so I can forgive the try-hard vibe.

#25: “Our Song” (Taylor Swift)

This is the very first of Swift’s songs I ever heard. Naturally, being a 13-year-old wannabe snob at the time, I hated it immediately.

Over a decade later, I can appreciate “Our Song” for its adorable charms and extremely quotable lyrics (“when you talk reeeeeeal slow” is my personal favorite). But it still rubs me the wrong way a bit, probably because Swift was pretending to be a southern hick when she was actually raised by a wealthy family in Reading, Pennsylvania. ...but it’s still a solid pop tune.

#24: “Mine” (Speak Now)

So uh...I guess Swift really wanted to write a Bruce Springsteen song? Specifically, a more optimistic version of “The River,” with a romantically doomed teenage flame sputtering out into adult financial troubles.

But obviously, a song about a shotgun wedding and blue-collar poverty wasn’t going to sell to Swift’s audience, so she gave the trope an uplifting spin, complete with a bright, peppy chorus in a major key. And it kind of works! I’m not going to pretend that “Mine” is top-tier Taylor, but sometimes rough stories do have a happy ending.

#23: “Should’ve Said No” (Taylor Swift)

A nice and pissed-off song about a cheating boyfriend, “Should’ve Said No” has a great, visceral chorus and Swift puts 100 percent of the blame on her scummy ex, who’s trying to weasel his way back into the relationship. I will say this about country: it’s a great vehicle for breakup songs.

#22: “The Story of Us” (Speak Now)

This is a great example of a very under-used style of breakup song — the slowly-drifting-apart story. It’s not usually as fiery, but it’s a lot more realistic and relatable. The best recent example I can think of is The 1975′s new wave heartbreaker “A Change of Heart,” which admittedly, is a lot better than “The Story of Us.”

Still, Swift gives the trope a nice effort here, and the charging guitars perfectly match her growing frustration at this boy who gets more and more distant as time goes on. The book framing device is a nice twist too (“NEXT CHAPTER.”), and it all adds up to one of Swift’s more underrated singles.

#21: “Look What You Made Me Do” (reputation)

Ahh yes, the infamous Kanye West diss track. Let’s be clear, nobody looked good in this feud — Taylor came off as vindictive, back-stabbing and petty. Then Kanye lost any moral high ground by wearing MAGA hats and buddying up to Trump.

The funny thing is, the songs from both artists that are central to this feud — “Look What You Made Me Do” and Kanye’s “Famous,” the song that reignited Swift’s rage — are both deeply ridiculous songs that I love despite my better judgement. The main issue with Swift’s song is that she can’t decide whether to play the cackling villain or the victim. The smart move would’ve been to lean into her dark side, like Kanye himself did with Yeezus, but she isn’t willing to completely do that, which makes the song have a pretty awkward tone.

YET. “Look What You Made Me Do” is still way too much fun for me to hate. The “I’m Too Sexy”-aping chorus? Love it. The thumping, wonderfully stupid Black Eyed Peas-esque production? Give me more! “I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD!!” — that might be my favorite part of all.

It’s a total disaster, but it’s a highly enjoyable one. But considering that I find other bombs like Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP fascinating too, maybe my opinion isn’t valid on this one.

#20: “22″ (Red)

I read a tweet once that called this song the “Kidz Bop ‘Tik Tok.’” Don’t remember who wrote that, but they’re absolutely right. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! It’s probably the closest Swift came to a squeaky-clean Carly Rae Jepsen banger.

#19: “White Horse” (Fearless)

The darker cousin of “Love Story,” Swift proved with “White Horse” she could also use classic tropes to convey weepy ballads as well as the sweeping romances. I honestly wish the lyrics were a little less vague — usually Swift is hyper-specific, which serves her well in these breakup songs — but Swift’s emotive performance carries the song regardless.

#18: “Begin Again” (Red)

Musically, the sleepy sound of “Begin Again” doesn’t do a lot for me, but the lyrical detail and story are stellar. After listening to so many Taylor Swift songs about crushing heartbreak or whirlwind romances for this list, it’s nice to hear a more understated song about a first-date that goes well. It especially works well at the end of Red, a fairly angsty album. 

“Begin Again” might still have some exaggerations (nobody’s first date is that perfect, Taylor, come on now), but the more grounded, mature tone was a nice change of pace for Swift.

#17: “Shake It Off” (1989)

This song is so, so stupid. And yet I know every single word. Yes, even the incredibly awkward rap breakdown (“THIS. SICK. BEAT!”).

I can’t in good conscience name “Shake It Off” as a top-tier Swift single, but it’s damn fun, despite its awful lyrics. Which basically makes it — gasp — a Katy Perry single. Oh, the irony.

#16: “Delicate” (reputation)

Swift went nocturnal with this sleeper hit. I couldn’t get into it at first, but it eventually grew on me, with its subtle production and charmingly insecure lyrics. Who among us hasn’t nervously second-guessed everything they’ve said or done when they’re around a new romantic partner?

The vocoders and slowly building percussion just add to what was already a solid groove, and it’s no wonder that “Delicate” eventually creeped up the charts despite the fact that, as Swift said herself, her reputation’s never been worse.

#15: “Picture To Burn” (Taylor Swift)

If I’m going to enjoy a country song, it better be ridiculous and stuffed with as many goofy clichés as possible. The single can’t take itself too seriously (and should be super catchy, of course). This is why some of the few country songs I semi-ironically love sound less like George Strait and more like “Man! I Feel Like A Woman.” If all country music was as silly as “Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy,” I’d probably like the genre a lot more.

“Picture To Burn” isn’t quite on those songs’ level, but it nearly matches the same level of yee-haw fun. Swift puts on an aggressive Southern accent, there’s a literal banjo solo at one point, and it’s about the best country topic there is: getting revenge on your ex!

Swift leaves no shot unfired as she calls out her former boyfriend for her “stupid ‘ol pickup truck you never let me drive,” calls him a stupid redneck, threatens to date all his friends and even gets her daddy involved. (At one point, the song contained a lyric about telling his friends he was gay, but thankfully, she later removed it)

It’s not quite “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk,” but it’ll do in a pinch.

#14: “Wildest Dreams” (1989)

One of the smartest things Swift’s done during her blockbuster pop era is cribbing ideas from other musicians and adapting them to her own personality. As mentioned earlier, “22″ is her version of a Ke$ha party song, “Mine” is like one of Springsteen’s heartland tunes, and “Shake It Off” is an intentionally dumb Katy Perry single.

But probably the most obvious example of this is “Wildest Dreams.” And the artist Swift cribs from on this sweeping ballad is more of a cult favorite than a true pop megastar: Lana Del Rey. Don’t lie, you hear it too: the cooing, sensual vocals, the cinematic sound, the lyrics that evoke classic Hollywood romance. It’s basically just “Summertime Sadness” without the Spaghetti western guitars.

And that’s absolutely a good thing! Although Swift doesn’t have Lana’s stunning alto vocal (sorry, but you know it’s true), she can still absolutely play that classic movie starlet role. Add a bit more modern pop structure to Del Rey’s indie-darling formula, and you’ve got the recipe for an easy standout track.

#13: “You Belong With Me” (Fearless)

Pointing out that “You Belong With Me,” arguably Swift’s biggest early hit, is problematic isn’t a new take. The idea of that someone inherently “belongs” with you because you like them has been debunked. I’m sorry this guy doesn’t you like you back Taylor, but maybe he has a good thing going with that cheer captain who wears short skirts? Let him be.

...but on the other hand, Swift was 19 when she wrote “You Belong With Me.” Most people criticizing the lyrics here are doing so through an adult vantage. Yes, the message is toxic, but it’s also extremely accurate to how teenage crushes work. I can promise you that I had similar feelings in junior high/high school, and I know I’m not alone in that regard. 

Also, “You Belong With Me” is far too catchy and bouncy to truly hate. So although I can’t rank it too high due to the iffy lyrics, I can’t deny that it does tap into some raw teen emotions, even if they’re ugly.

#12: “I Knew You Were Trouble.” (Red)

I was there. That fateful day in 2012 when Taylor Swift *gasp* MADE A DUBSTEP SONG. People were snarking that this was basically just Skrillex for the Forever 21 crowd, sharing around that (hilarious) screaming goat remix, and so on.

But seven years later, although that dubstep production is oh-so-early-’10s, “I Knew You Were Trouble” absolutely holds up. If Swift was going to abandon country, why not go all out? Besides, the drop still hits with a lot of force, mirroring the visceral anger of her lyrics. If anything, it isn’t intense enough. Maybe she really should’ve gotten Skrillex to produce...

#11: “Out Of The Woods” (1989)

YES inject that synthy Jack Antonoff production right into my veins.

I’m still upset that “Out Of The Woods” wasn’t a smash like 1989′s other singles, but it is a pretty weird song. The chorus is aggressively repetitive (its only real flaw), it’s a breakup song that’s less relatable lyrically and more abstract, and America was too busy paying attention at the time to Bieber semi-apologizing.

But THAT PRODUCTION. It’s nervy yet propulsive, with a quiet-loud-quiet setup that any good power ballad needs. Antonoff even provides some backup vocals, which is always a welcome addition. Swift herself really sells the song too. I wouldn’t say she’s a powerhouse singer, but she’s really giving it her all here in terms of vocal force — something she typically shies away from.

“Out Of The Woods” will likely be lost to time for all but the most ardent Swifties. But for those who love it, may I suggest listening to some Bleachers?

#10: “Back To December” (Speak Now)

The stereotype of Swift’s breakup songs, particularly in the early stage of her career, was that they weren’t self-aware and basically demonized whatever boy the song was about (or the girl she was jealous of). And while that’s not 100 percent true, the stereotype did have some merit back then.

That’s why “Back To December” was rightfully hailed as a breath of fresh air for Swift, and it’s held up extremely well nine years later. The perspective has shifted — in this story, she’s the one admitting guilt for ending the relationship. It’s a very measured, mature song, but with still enough tender emotion and regret to stay relatable. The orchestral sweep is a nice touch as well, emphasizing the tragedy of the situation.

Also, fun fact: This song is about Swift’s relationship with Twilight hunk Taylor Lautner. Maybe the relationship didn’t work out because she thought it was weird to date a guy with the same name? It was probably because she’s more of a Hunger Games fan.

#9: “Getaway Car” (reputation)

Here’s the one thing reputation improved upon from 1989. As just a cursory listen could tell you, “Getaway Car,” sonically, is extremely similar to “Out Of The Woods.” They’re both pulsing, synthy new wave tracks with a heavy Bleachers influence — considering they’re both Antonoff productions, not surprising at all. It even steals a lyric from Bleachers’ “Rollercoaster.”

So what makes “Getaway Car” a superior sequel? Well, it’s a smoother ride, for sure — the aggressively repetitive chorus in “Out Of The Woods” was that song’s weak spot. And “Getaway” has a more clear concept as well, being about a Bonnie and Clyde-inspired escape from a failing relationship, invoking all the bittersweet emotions that come along with that. “Out Of The Woods” is...about a car crash with Harry Styles? I guess?

It’s really a personal call. They’re both amazing songs, I just happen to think Swift and Antonoff refined their collaboration on this later attempt.

#8: “Teardrops On My Guitar” (Taylor Swift)

“Teardrops On My Guitar” is both obviously written by a 15-year-old kid, but also so, so much better than that implies. 

The lyrics here are extremely wholesome and corny — unlike “You Belong With Me,” Swift doesn’t even take any shots at the girl her crush is currently dating, and there’s references to “wishing stars,” something I think I’ve only ever heard in Disney songs. And like many of Swift’s early songs, it absolutely nails the yearning emotions of a teenage crush, especially for those of us who were too shy to do anything about them.

But obviously, Swift wasn’t an average ninth-grader. The lilting melody in the verses of “Teardrops” fits the lyrics perfectly. And the song comes off both very polished and radio-ready, yet still plucked right from the pages of a diary. Yes, Swift co-wrote the song with pop-country songwriter Liz Rose, but that’s not unusual for a very young artist. Lorde’s “Royals” (written at age 16) had a co-writer, too.

The simple beauty of “Teardrops” is what brought Swift into the mainstream, and there’s a good reason for that: it’s an incredible start to a career.

#7: “Blank Space” (1989)

“Blank Space” might be the only intentional, successful self-own in recent pop history. I can’t think of another time when an artist eviscerated their public persona with such surgical precision, and it actually made them more endearing.

Tired of trolls constantly making jokes about her short relationships and constant breakup songs, Swift decided to make the joke herself, 8 Mile-style. In “Blank Space,” she paints herself as a psychotic maneater who will drive any guy insane. Out of all her disses over the years, she might have saved the best barb for herself: “Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.” The instant tone switch from the cooing, seductive first verse to the furious, delusional second verse is brilliant.

If there’s one flaw to “Blank Space,” it’s that the production is maybe a tad too minimalist for such an intense song. But the hook is still massive, and the song isn’t about the production anyways: It’s 100 percent a lyrical showcase for Swift, and a way to beat her haters at their own game. 

Dissing yourself while still coming off smart is a tough tightrope to walk, as “Look What You Made Me Do” unfortunately proved. But with “Blank Space,” Taylor proved that, even if for a brief moment, she controlled the narrative.

(Also, this is Taylor’s best video. Obviously.)

#6: “Sparks Fly” (Speak Now)

A lot of the other songs in this top 10 work because of a very specific reason, whether it be the production or a clever lyrical conceit. But it’s difficult to describe what makes “Sparks Fly” fly so well. 

At first glance, it’s not that much different than other early upbeat Swift singles — it’s got the country-rock guitars, lovesick lyrics, a bit of a twang but not too much. But this is where that formula reaches perfection. It’s no wonder that after “Speak Now,” Swift tilted hard into pure pop, because she wasn’t going to top this.

The chorus is passionate and soaring, with even the percussive lyrics ( “Drop. Everything. Now.”) contributing. And this seems like a super-odd aspect of a Taylor Swift song to compliment, but “Sparks Fly” also has a fantastic guitar riff — something few of her pop contemporaries would try.

Sometimes what makes a song great is to just have every aspect go perfectly, and that’s exactly what happened with “Sparks Fly.”

#5: “Red” (Red)

The title track to Swift’s instant-classic album Red is the closest she’s come to being a full-fledged rockstar (well, that and album cut “State Of Grace,” which is an obvious U2 pastiche). It’s definitely more of a country-fried, Sheryl Crow brand of rock, but it suits Swift well. There’s even a killer guitar solo!

As a summation of a whirlwind relationship, “Red” absolutely nails the bittersweet feelings that come after a breakup. Even the best moments or aspects of her ex have a dark side, but she seems equally wistful about the worst moments. And the color-based chorus (a few years before Halsey stole the idea), complete with a new wave-y vocal echo, is simple but effective. It’s the perfect middle between Swift’s uber-pop era to come and her Nashville songwriter past.

#4: “New Romantics” (1989)

I was hesitant to include “New Romantics” on this list. Yes, it was a single, but it was also a tacked-on bonus track to 1989. But it’s too damn perfect of a pop song to leave off.

Honestly, how was this not included in the regular tracklisting of 1989? Yes, it’s her best album, so there’s not a lot of filler, but “New Romantics” would’ve still been an improvement over nearly all of the songs there. The production by pop wizards Max Martin and Shellback pops and whizzes with energy. It’s pure ‘80s heaven, with an anthemic sing-along chorus and bouncy synths and drum machines.

But naturally, Swift herself is a major factor to why “New Romantics” is such an effective pop song. Her vocal delivery here has a knowing wink, with a bit of snark. You might even call it Debbie Harry-esque. For a song where Swift is conveying the joys of non-stop partying, she certainly sells it. And I’d imagine if she released it as a regular single earlier in 1989′s cycle, it would’ve been another #1 smash.

#3: “Love Story” (Fearless)

“Love Story” deliberately misinterprets multiple literary classics to create an uber-cheesy, ridiculous fairy tale. And it’s easily the best song of her country era, and one of the best pop songs of the ‘00s, bar none.

The star-crossed lovers angle is overdone, yes, but Swift sings about this secret relationship with such passion and earnestness that it feels fresh again. When the surprise ending comes and the boyfriend proposes (wait, aren’t they both high schoolers? Maybe wait a bit on that one, guys), it’s got all the sappiness of a Hallmark special, and yet it totally works. You can tell the then-18 Swift didn’t find this cheesy in the slightest, and her bold, passionate sincerity works.

Even the fact that the song seems to not understand what The Scarlet Letter was actually about, or how Romeo and Juliet ends, is honestly more charming than anything else. “Love Story” is like a puppy — full of boundless joy and absolutely impossible to resist, despite not being all that smart.

#2: “Style” (1989)

I can’t imagine the confusion and shock that Swift’s management must have felt when she told them she wanted to record a song that sounded like the Drive soundtrack. But it was an absolutely brilliant move, and it gave us the song that will likely age better than any of Swift’s other singles.

To be fair, “Style” is much more radio-friendly than your average Chromatics single — but not by much! Swift’s vocals are less ethereal than Ruth Radelet’s, and the hooks are much more obvious. But many Chromatics songs, or songs from Drive, are already pretty catchy — Swift just needed to maximize them into a slinky-yet-explosive new wave behemoth.

The pulsating synth background and Swift’s whispery vocals make “Style” an all-time classic song for aimlessly driving around at night, yet it’s big enough to fit in with her more blunt hits. In fact, it might be the one time she actually seemed *gasp* cool. It’s too bad reputation tried so hard to recapture this dusky vibe and utterly failed, but at least we’ll always have her first attempt.

#1: “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” (Red)

It took Swift many, many tries to capture that elusive first #1 hit. But when she finally reached that pinnacle in 2012 with the gleefully venomous “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” it made perfect sense. After all, it’s her best song.

Swift has written many breakup songs before, but she’s never had this much fun knocking down her ex — in this case, the famously sleazy John Mayer. And her digs are just so relentless and delivered with a perfect smirk. There’s the dig at Mayer listening to “some indie record that’s much cooler than mine,” which drips with sarcasm. She calls him out for his inability to fully commit, saying both that his breakups and makeups only “last about a day.” And of course, there’s also that wonderfully exasperated phone call, where Swift groans about her ex’s persistence, calling the situation “exhausting” and mocking him. 

The best part is that all of this is delivered in a sugary-sweet, insanely catchy campfire sing-along that wouldn’t leave anyone’s heads in the fall of 2012. That chorus is just so joyful and fun that you have expect the little bouncing ball to pop up next to the “WHEEE-EEE!”

It seems weird to say Swift’s best song is also her big sell-out moment, but some artists were just meant to be pure pop. And in Swift’s case, she didn’t sacrifice any of her sharp songwriting en route to a catchier, more fun sound, which created one of the most iconic pop songs of the ‘10s.