#some moonshine/ale/grog if you will

[bishicat]

a mage and a dwarf walk into a tavern (campfire)... I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere 🤔

[ask-jaghatai-khan]

Primarch Comfort Foods

In which I speculate on some of the foods the primarchs would have eaten back on their home planets. These tend to fall in line with my ethnicity/culture-expy theories about each of the primarchs. I’ve included some general foods, as well as popular alcoholic drinks.

Hope you enjoy! No promises all of them are going to be necessarily pleasant...

Lion El’Johnson

Simple porridge, sometimes with orchard fruit (apples). Small amount of basic bread. Roasted or stewed meat from various livestock (cow, sheep, chicken), or fish. Bread-ale often drunk (sometimes in lieu of water), and on special occasions, wine.

Calibanite cuisine is based around sedentary food sourcing, and almost never included game meats. Due to the taint that lurked within the forests, what land was good for farming was fiercely defended.

Fulgrim

Salad of small fruits or vegetables (berries, olives, etc.). Small birds and wild rodents delicately roasted in sweet bastes. Hard Chemosian moonshine diluted into more tasty cocktails. Wine drunk at special events.

Before the Phoenix’s full reforms of Chemos, the natives had to make due with what little wild sustenance they could forage. However, under the primarch’s guidance, such tiny morsels became delicacies fit for people of taste.

Perturabo

Stuffed pita or börek filled with meat (mountain goat), hearty vegetables, and herbs (mountain tubers, olives, etc.). Occasional fruits. Rationed beer or harder dark liquor. Wine only if it was taken from lowland peasants. Salted, processed meat and veg made for field rations.

Due to Olympia’s mountainous terrain, arable land was in fierce contention. Natives had to make due with what hardy fauna and shrubs managed to exist at such altitudes. Beer was often made in preparation for sieges. Stronger drinks were in high demand from beleaguered soldiers.

Jaghatai Khan

Inside-out-roasted traditional khorkhog (either Chogoran horse or sheep). Served with aaruul (dried cheese curd), milk, and heavy cream. Occasionally wild tubers cooked alongside. Kumis (milk beer) or horse blood served as drink.

The savages of Mundus Planus rarely ate more than dry cheese and jerky. When they feasted, they used every one of the few ingredients they had available: meat and dairy, from the very steeds they rode.

Leman Russ

Roasted beast (ox, deer, mammoth?) over a roaring fire pit. Fish and sea-life, when the ice permitted it. Sometimes served in stew of rich roots (potatoes, carrots, sour berries). Veg often pickled to last the winter, and meat salted/dried. The juice is mopped up by tough bread, and washed down with gallons of Mjød (mead).

The Fenrisians ate hearty, for who knew how tough the winter would be? Rich foods were popular, though dry bread and heavily-preserved meat meant everything had to be followed by plenty of drink.

Rogal Dorn

Blubbery sausage from the meat of sea-mammals and huge land beasts (caribou, bear). Fish was often pickled to last longer, or made into vorschmack. Occasionally tough vegetables could be found under the permafrost. Eggs and berries might be foraged, made into stew, or eaten by themselves. Beer often served warm.

The Inwit tribes were proud people, though their options were few. No matter what was made, it was often soaked in fat from numerous ingredient, so as to keep the body warm and well-fed in the face of constant ice and cold.

Konrad Curze

Cheap patties or homogenized sausages made from dubious meats (dog, rat, or pigeon - if you were lucky) The closest things to vegetables or fruits would be processed food-bars. Cheap mass-produced beer and liquor used to wash away sorrows. Konrad himself often had to subsist on wild vermin and scraps.

Nostramo was ruled by exploitation and horror. If high fat and alcohol content could give the locals some temporary reprieve from their awful lives, they would overlook the otherwise horrible tastes.

Sanguinius

Mixed-grain flatbread, cracker-like. Occasionally leavened if a tribe settled down for a while. Butter and milk was common (from sheep equivalents), but slaughtering an animal was saved for special ceremonies. Wine was also drunk at these times, or the blood of the animal, in honor of the creature.

Wild game on Baal Secundus could not be trusted, and might often kill you before you could kill it. Eating involved strict ceremonies of cleanliness, and herds were more valuable than gold, being under threat of mutant raiders.

Ferrus Manus

Thick gruel, served hot or cold, though often bland. Easy to mass-produce and portable goods like sausage or jerky were common. Scarce vegetables were preserved (tubers, gourds, cabbage). Both meat and veg might be rendered down to thick mash that was then canned. Medusan liquor could double as cheap engine-fuel.

On a world as polluted and unforgiving as Medusa, every drop of nutrition had to be squeezed from foodstuffs, while making sure they lasted. Such foods weren’t the most delicious, but they were efficient.

Angron Thal’kyr

Pudding or hash made from tough grains (rye, barley) mixed with blood (often from animals, but sometimes from gladiators). Cheap beer might be given out, especially to those slated to die. Hard liquor often awarded to victors in small quantities.

Though the lords of Nuceria ate the finest fare, gladiator food had to be cheap and filling. Only the most entertaining could be allotted “treats”. For some of the more deranged warriors, stealing someones food or drink was grounds to become a meal yourself.

Roboute Guilliman

Veritable feasts of fish and livestock (pork, veal, chicken), or sometimes served as small meals to be eaten with company. Rich porridge of vegetables or fruit were common, served with glassy-crusted loaves of bread. Everything was paired with honey, butter, or both. Dilute wine provided taste and calmed nerves, while not clouding the senses.

The marvels of civilization brought even the peasants of Macragge a decent meal. Variety and freshness were tantamount, and most every meal was meant to be eaten during business - financial transactions, visits from guests, or even during the morning trip to the baths.

Mortarion

Thick, fatty stew of meat (pork, freshwater fish) and heady vegetables (onions, potatoes). Made with dark beer and strong-smelling seasonings (garlic, more onions), and served with tough, leavened bread. Horrible but rich beer served alongside.

The only land fit for agriculture lay far below the noxious clouds of Barbarus. Anything that wasn’t pulled from the deepest earth, or drank from the lowest stream, might be polluted by the high air. Heady seasonings helped mask the smell of the rot that quickly set in.

Magnus the Red

Rich, heavily-seasoned meats (all kinds) served as kebab. Accompanied by creamy sauces and small vegetables and fruits (olives, dates, figs, peppers). Small cakes and candied fruits for a treat. Meals often served with flatbread to allow for eating without dirtying fingers. Dilute wine for flavor while not slowing the mind.

Every fruit was always in season on Prospero. A thousand meats, vegetables, and sweet treats were prepared with ease by enchanted kitchens. The only limitation was ease of eating - one did not want to stain book pages with sauce or wine!

Horus

Game barbecue (mutant stag, rabbit), seasoned with spare liquor/beer and foraged spices. Processed goods might still be found in the ruins, though only the brave dared to eat them. Fruit and veg could be stolen from sedentary gangs or peasants. Grey-liquor (mixed alcohol) common drink to consolidate bottles.

In the ruins of Cthonia, even the most powerful gangs were only afforded so much luxury. Maybe you preserve your food only for someone to steal it, or maybe you eat it now at the risk of going hungry later.

Lorgar Aurelian

Fine stew made of any combination of fish, meat (sometimes sausage), vegetables, and hundreds of strong spices. Served hot or cold. Simpler meals could still be found with ease, and were no less delicious. Monastic beer and blessed wine were the main alcoholic drinks, and seldom used for leisure.

Ingredients on Colchis were plentiful and varied, and the Colchisians were fond of experimentation. The tastes of heaven could be found in both simplicity and complexity, and ingredients often changed as different fasts were observed throughout the year.

Vulkan

Giant reptile barbeque, roasted over open flame or in earthenware ovens. Ground-meat wat was also enjoyed alongside sweet and spongy bread. Meat was often seasoned with intense spices that would make lesser humans’ eyes water; though sweet volcanic yams made for a good pairing. Harsh but flavorful liquor might be enjoyed, or even used for fire-breathing displays!

Though the people of Nocturne enjoyed sweet stuffs, their fetish for the flames of their homeworld was mirrored in their spice-heavy cooking. Visitors should always have a bottle on hand, or some sweet bread or yams, before they indulge in any meat dishes.

Corvus Corax

Before the Liberation, meals were often simple mash (potatoes and cabbage), gruel, and maybe some meat scraps or weak alcohol. After the capture of Kiavahr, richer stews of tubers, grain (rye, corn), and fruits (berries, apples) were enjoyed. Roast fowl or fish stuffed with nuts and berries was common, as well as hearty bread, and rich beer.

When the slaves of Lycaeus regained access to the forests of Kiavahr, a bounty was available to them. The peasant meals they were once forced to eat were remade into richer versions fit for hard workers.

Alpharius

??? Space-pirate grog and scavenged xenos-beast meat?

Many tales were told of the mysterious twins. Some say Alpharius spent his days trapped on a dead world before his salvation. Others, that he was a scourge of the outer space-ways. Some say he never was lost to begin with. Who can say?