#some heavy hitters in this one!

[electrozeistyking]

i am injuring myself through this au (this means i’m doing something right angst wise)

[twooowars]

holy fuck wow that new wheels post made me very curious so i looked on imdb for the user ratings of what are considered the Worst episodes... these are the "bottom 12" iasip episodes according to them, excluding gang beats boggs ladies reboot for obvious reasons. which would YOU consider the absolute worst out of the following episodes?

[curls-cat]

nothing like a medium sized fandom to make you realize that the most popular fic isn't usually the best written

[podcastwizard]

you'd do numbers on tumblr

and that has been my burden since i was 14 years old

[raeofgayshine]

I love playing Pokémon in a way that would absolutely kill anyone who knows a thing about the game. No I don’t know most weaknesses and strengths of typings or what I should be using. No I’m not building a well rounded team. No I don’t remember battle to battle what moves are effective against what Pokémon’s even if I just fought them and lord knows I don’t really understand their power or literally any stat my mons have. I am heavily brute forcing my way through this game with my team full of Sunflora fusions because this is Infinite Fusions and I can do that. Yes having everyone a grass type presents problems. No I don’t care! I will beef them up enough they can tank hits until I can destroy whoever I’m fighting and if all else fails I have potions and revives and everything I need on stock to keep going. I do not know what I’m doing but I’m having fucking fun with it!!!!

[wings-of-angels]

trying to plan out what pokèmon bruce wayne would have... much to think about

[camels-pen]

*holding your face in my hands* listen- listen- Usopp's Snake Fireworks are not canon. They are not canon. I know that. You know that. We all know that.

But what if- and hear me out now- what if I gave him them anyway

[knifeforkspooncup]

bro ive been adhding the entire day and i forgor if i asked the asks i was gonna ask so i guess i'll just do it again lol if i already did, just ignore this. anyway:

ox rib, goats, Alpha Centauri, ball

Welcome to the club I literally did my first productive thing of the day after being froze all day and it is currently almost 9pm here. Also buddy I can't remember if you asked me already anyways so here we go (possibly again?) (Cue ABBA background music)

Ox rib - if you were a type of food what would you be?

I'd either be like, roasted vegetables or a grilled cheese sandwich. Idk why. Maybe I'm just craving those things lmao. If anyone wants to chime in and personality analyze what being a grilled cheese sandwich says about me, be my guest.

Goats - if goats could speak, should they be able to vote? Why or why not?

Imo goats should be able to vote just as they are. At least then maybe the absolute barnyard of a political system in my country would make a little more sense. Plus I think it's high time clothing was made more edible and I think goats have a lot of thoughts about that.

Alpha Centauri - where do you run off to when it feels like the end of the world?

My mind. Which is cruelly ironic because usually it's my mind that's making it feel like the end of the world. It's a codependent relationship.

But seriously my imagination, my daydreams, or more often these days distraction like my silly little favorite shows or fanfiction. Where's that poem about not mocking the bright colours of the life preserver?

Ball - what's something that's great in fantasy but disappointing in reality?

Everything lmao. OK partly joking but really a huge aspect of my experience is the real world not living up to my internal world. It's why sometimes fixations on fictional stories are simultaneously The Best and also deeply existential dread inducing for me.

A more normal answer is most careers lmao. I have an on paper certified Cool Job and it really is just. Meh.

[spymeister]

[moonlitlillypop]

I don't agree with all of these but I respect you for being the only person to bring up cuphead and the binding of Isaac.

Still can't get over the fact that Toby Fox dreamed up a game ending, but he decided he wanted to make something a little less ambitious first, so instead he made the most influential indie game of all time

[wireless-telegraph]

6, 18 for spotify asks :3c

6. Which playlist do you frequent most?

Between these two OC playlists:

Geneve Duthrak aka Phlox, my conjuration wizard.

Seymour, my Aasimar bloodhunter

18. What artist do you anticipate to be your top for spotify wrapped?

Oh geeze. I'm an artist hopper but maybe Crywolf or Roland Faunte?

[sanguinesmi1e]

A Round Door Like a Porthole, Lazarus Green Pt. 1 (you're here) Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

Wayne Enterprises didn’t really need a small business specializing in “ecto-weapons” invented by self-purported ghost hunters, but S.T.A.R. Labs tipped Lucius Fox off that Lex Luthor was trying to buy an obscure little company in Illinois, and thwarting Luthor was always worthwhile. Now Tim just had to figure out what to do with all the equipment and the concerningly large arsenal of guns and things that looked like normal household items but seemed to have other, horrific purposes. He would have laughed at the way they slapped “Fenton” in front of every invention name (do ghost hunters really need a Fenton thermos? Won’t a normal thermos keep their coffee hot just as well? Are ghosts like trout, to be caught with a Fenton Ghost Fisher which just looks like a normal fishing rod but glow-in-the-dark. And what the fuck even is a Fenton Peeler!?), but he thought with some chagrin about the batarangs, batmobile, and everything else that had “bat” as a prefix in the batcave. 

However, of all the things Tim hadn’t expected to find when he flew out to do an inventory of assets after they bought the business sight-unseen, a portal generating a Lazarus Pit in gaseous form was probably at the top of his list. He didn’t even know that Lazarus water could change states from a liquid to a gas like that. Maybe there actually was something to the whole ghost thing. He supposed that it made sense for ghosts to exist, after all Deadman was part of Justice League Dark. Speaking of. . . he should see if Bruce could call in someone from JLD to assess things. He was feeling decidedly out of his depth.

John Constantine did not like to consult for mega corporations like Wayne Enterprises, but Batman had specifically requested he go check something out and he figured, where's the harm? 

There. 

There’s the harm. 

It turned out the “thing” he’d been called in to look at is a machine that can tear open a stable portal into the Infinite Realms. That is not something that should be possible. That is not something technology should be capable of achieving. That is definitely not something that should exist. Bloody hell, what had the Bats roped him into!?

This really should have been Zatana’s job. Or Deadman’s. Hell, Raven or Secret would be preferable. Because John would prefer not to be dealing with this. In fact, he would prefer to be back in literal Hell than deal with the crazy shit in the Infinite Realms. Could John handle demons, archangels, and even gods? Yeah. He can bind or exorcize most supernatural threats. Does that mean he relishes the idea of going toe to toe with heavy hitters from the Infinite Realms? Absolutely not. 

Some beings who lived there were just little blob ghosts made from ectoplasm and emotion. Some were the restless undead who could not or would not cross over to their afterlives. And some were the embodiments of concepts like nature, destructive weather, and dreams. He wasn’t sure where Death fit into the Realms, whether she ruled or visited, or if it was actually just an extension of her, but he didn’t really want to find out. There were many things John could defeat. Death wasn’t one of them. And now he was looking at a portal into a realm where the living were not meant to be. 

Danny hadn’t returned to Fenton Works since graduating high school. It turned out that he was less anxious when he was not living with people who fantasized about “tearing him apart molecule by molecule” and thought that discussing their plans to dissect him (although he maintained that it would be a vivisection since he’s only half dead) made for fascinating dinner conversation. Who would have thought that his constant stress, anxiety, and insomnia were caused by environmental factors? He’d been unpacking things with a very nice therapist his sister helped him find, and seen great improvements in his mental health. It really helped that she was dead too, and unlike Spectra she didn’t feed off the misery of her patients.

Danny hadn’t intended to ever return to Fenton Works, but when Jazz told him that Jack and Maddie sold their life's work to Wayne Enterprises and a multibillionaire playboy was about to have unfettered access to the Ghost Zone, he was. . . concerned. To say the least. And that was why he was in the middle of doing some light sabotage when Tim Drake-Wayne and a guy in a trenchcoat who reeked of cigarette smoke entered the basement lab. It’s why he was hiding under the Specter Speeder removing the ecto-engine, and there to overhear the conversation that followed.

“So, am I right in thinking that’s a Lazarus Pit?” Tim asked Constantine.

The older man stared at the portal, then at Tim, then at the portal for an uncomfortably long time. Then he pulled out a flask and drained half its contents before saying, “Yes and no. That is basically the same substance as the pits, but I think that this does something else entirely. It seems like this machine basically functions as a summoning circle, but instead of pulling one entity from one side to the other, this is just an open doorway that is perpetually pulling in anything or anyone who gets within its sphere of influence.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good thing, John.”

“It’s really not,” 

“So what does that mean, is it like a blown hatch in space causing rapid depressurization?” Tim felt a little ill at the thought. “What is it even pulling into our world?”

“No, no. Nothing so dramatic as that. It’s more like, hm, so the way summoning circles work is they invite or compel a specific entity to manifest, by basically making a one-way magical portal for them. This portal is kinda like an invitational summoning, which entices, but doesn’t force anyone to enter. Usually a summoning will have a purpose though, and the being you summon will be offered a deal. If this is doing what I think it is and pulling citizens of the Infinite Realms through and leaving them on this side without a contract or direction, they’re probably getting pretty frustrated and causing havoc. It’s like offering someone a job in another country so they have to get a visa and uproot everything, only to get off the plane and find an empty office, no housing, and no paycheck.” John lit up a cigarette and took a drag.

Tim wrinkled his nose, but knew from long experience that it wasn’t worth it to argue about American tobacco restrictions in the workplace with Constantine, especially while the man was doing him a favor. Also, the man looked like he really needed either a cigarette or another drink, and he’d prefer second hand smoke to a drunk sorcerer. “So then why hasn’t this town been overrun by these beings from the Infinite Realms?”

“Good question kid, but what I really want to know is how is this portal staying open? Really, how was it opened in the first place is the most pressing issue.” John mused.

Tim had already located the blueprints for the portal while waiting for Constantine, but either the Fentons had intentionally falsified the documents to seem plausible just long enough to make off with the money, or he just didn’t understand enough of the interaction between physics and the occult to comprehend how the portal could possibly function. 

He flipped back through the blueprints while the blond man sat cross legged in front of the swirling green portal and his low, distracted mutterings took on the cadence of a chant. The curl of smoke from his lit cigarette unfurled into some kind of spell array, and began to glow. Huh, maybe Tim shouldn't be too quick to judge him for tobacco misuse. Tim triple checked the flat file for any more information about the portal, and came up empty handed.

John, meanwhile, kept chanting as the magical array grew and spread to encompass the entire entrance to the portal. At last he stopped speaking and stood up, stepping back to double check his work. “Alright, Drake. You might wanna close your eyes for this one. It’s gonna be bright,” he said, popping his cigarette back between his lips. Then he stepped forward and blew a mouthful of smoke on the center of the array. The smoke caught against the softly glowing lines, pushing them until they floated back and collided with the nebulous green swirls and, despite Tim closing his eyes, flashed so incandescently white he could see them through his eyelids.

“OW! Fuck!!” John clutched his face, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. “I’m doubling my consulting fee,” he grumbled under his breath.

“You alright?” Tim asked, blinking spots out of his vision.

“Yeah, yeah. Just give me a sec.” He too was blinking now. “That was not supposed to be so bright.”

“I’m assuming it worked though.”

“It had bloody well better ’ave worked.” The older man squinted at the slightly dimmer lines which still shone painfully bright against the green. “Oh. Yeah, that worked. Fuck. . .”

“What?” Tim looked on in alarm as Constantine pressed a hand over his mouth. 

“Oh man. What wanker did you say created this portal?”

“Presumably Drs. Madeline and Jack Fenton. Why?” He drew the last syllable out skeptically. 

“Because, they opened this portal with a child sacrifice, and bound his death and all the lost life potential to their bloody machine to create a perpetual gateway to the Infinite Realms.”

[softsophos]

Peer Review Time! Let's rate episodes my friend gave 5 Stars when they watched for the first time

[flamingpudding]

Danny, the 'twig' Bouncer

The job was just a temporary solution. It was a means to an end. To help him handle his obsession until things were better. Until it was safe to be out again. Until he could roam around freely without fear. Until he no longer needed to lay low or be on the run. Until he could return to being Phantom.

This job helped keep his obsession somewhat sedated. Sure, it was a shady bar, but it beat working out in the open in some other way or becoming a non-ghost vigilante and risking his human persona too.

Besides people tented to underestimate him because he was a 'twig' in their eyes. The bar owner nearly didn't hire him until he easily flipped a human truck over his shoulder and threw the guy out the back door on his interview day.

But again this was just meant to be temporary. He got to fight the trouble makers and protect customers from the rowdy crowd.

At some point, the people even started cheering whenever Danny was on the clock, his coworkers even leaving the heavy hitters to him. It was kind of fun always seeing the sound looks of the big guys that didn't think Danny could throw them out the door with one hand. The owner had said something about getting more customers ever since Danny started working for him.

Danny even recognized regulars now. Tho there was this one guy with a red helmet that gave him a weird feeling. But the guy wasn't making trouble so Danny left him alone.

Besides the Bar Owner always pet his shoulder after he threw someone out. That meant he did a good job right?

Though Danny did wonder how long this temporary job would last.

.

.

.

Yea his Fenton luck struck again. Danny didn't know faces. The bar was a shady place but neutral zone according to the owner but there was the golden rule of not messing with Joker. Danny had agreed even tho he didn't know who that guy was.

Soo the day came a clown made trouble in the bar and no one else appeared to want to do something. So what did Danny do? His job. He punched the guy, knocked him out and threw him right out the door a little too hard into a brick wall. He might have broken a couple of that clown guys bones. Hello trauma, Freakshow greets you.

The bar was dead silent right after, everyone staring at him like he had just signed a death sentence. The owner had then pushed him out the door and muttered something about sending Danny on vacation and to return in a month if he was still alive by then.

Did that mean he was fired or got a weird kind of promotion?

Why was that guy in a furry suit staring him down now?

Also why was the red helmet regular suddenly trying to hire him for his gang?

Really Danny just wanted a simple job that sedated his obsession, this was not what he expected to happen for a job well done.

[is-this-even-relatable]

DC PROMPT #2:

When Captain Marvel gets hit in a fight that was a little too magical in origins for everyone’s comfort, he turns back into Billy Batson, scrawny homeless kid (actually a teen now, thank you very much), a clear difference from his healthy, strong adult form.

Billy knows that he is fine, he just needs to rest a bit and he’ll be back to being Cap. He is freaking out for a second about getting his cover blown. That is, until-

the rest of the Justice League, who on the other hand do NOT know that he is fine-

think that one of their founding and most senior members, their heavy hitter magical expert dude, is suddenly de-aged due to an attack of unknown origins.

Billy just decides to go along with it.

———

Billy, dragging himself out of the rubble of a building: “Aw shit.”

Wonder Woman, flying over after tying up the bad guy of the day: “Oh Zeus! Captain Marvel, are you still yourself? Do you feel alright?”

Billy: “Uh—”

Flash, dashing over: “What’s going on, what was that bright light— HOLY SHIT IS THAT CAP?!?”

Billy: “Ye—”

Batman from the Watchtower: “Wonder Woman, please report.”

WW: “It seems that Captain Marvel was hit by some sort of magical attack.”

Billy: “Well—”

Batman: “Is he compromised?”

Flash: “BATS HE’S A CHILD?!”

WW, sighing: “Yes, as Flash put it, he has been turned into a child.”

Batman:

Batman: “Bring him back to the watchtower and we’ll see if we can fix this.

Billy: “Shit, aiight I guess”

[p1nkshield]

Danny tried to inject a little more mirth into his laugh as he appeared in front of the group of young heroes, hoping to shock them a bit.

“Hell-”

“RAAGH!”

Superboy launched himself at their assumed enemy. Or he thought he did. Instead he was grabbed out of the air, spun about like a dance partner and thrown into the running path of his speedster teammate.

“Hold on! Return to sender please! Honestly, I didn’t even get to finish my monologue! You could’ve gotten some good information from that!”

Danny feigned a pout as he floated to the ground, purposefully letting aquaman’s little protege get the jump on him.

Water rushed over his legs and froze him in place.

“Very good! But didn’t you notice the chill in the air? I’m something of an ice mage myself.”

Danny began to manipulate the ice to break out rather than faze through it, taking note of Artemis aiming an arrow at his chest.

She had a clear shot but Danny couldn’t wait for her to take it without being obvious. So he turned his attention to the heavy hitters. Star and Supes.

Robin felt like he was a puppy being shown the pair of shoes he just chewed up. If he could have face palmed at Superboy’s hotheaded decision to jump right into battle he would have. He cringed as poor Wally was taken out by the kryptonian turned projectile. Star looked as if she didn’t know what to do or when to jump in. It seemed she wouldn’t have to wonder much longer.

Robin watched as the villain launched towards her hurling orbs of energy at her as he complained.

“Ugh green. You’re all green.” He said as he turned to grab a hurtling superboy by the face this time and throwing him into the path of the freshly recovered kid flash again.

“Have a nice trip.”

He looked so very bored as he quipped, dodging Star’s attempts to return fire.

Okay Danny was actually getting tired. He heard an arrow fire. Finally. He caught it and looked smugly at the archer. It exploded with containment foam. Clever.

“Oh this is embarrassing. Being caught by baby heroes who look like they’ve got midterms tomorrow!” He said as the foam solidified. He continued to prattle on about this, that and the other, taking note of the distinct looks of annoyance on each teen’s face. He was about to hint at the whereabouts of their missing teammate but once again Superboy told him to shut up as he tried to punch his lights out. Oh! That was a bad idea. Danny decided to play along, rolling his face with the punch so the kid wouldn’t hurt his hand.

Robin looked hopeful as he watched his teammates render their attacker unconscious. Until his face fell. Ice was creeping up the mass of foam and he couldn’t warn his team. He desperately promised the universe that was never gonna take coms for granted again if his team made it out of this.

The foam exploded into shards that turned into restraints that stuck his teammates to the walls.

“Gosh I was kidding. You really thought you won? Cute.” He checked his phone, and gasped nearly dropping it. “Oh my cookies are almost done baking! I’ve gotta jet! Your restraints will melt in two hours and your little bird is upstairs enjoying the show. Buh bye!” He blew some green powder into Superboy’s face knocking him out before he could break out and disappeared.

Great. He has kryptonite. Fantastic.

After such a thorough embarrassment the group of teens skulked their way back to the nearest zeta station, beaming back to their base.

“I think this is the worst mission we’ve done man!” Wally complained as he limped off the zeta beam platform.

Kon and Aqualad just squinted, obviously wanting him to shut up.

“What? I can’t say we were ass today? We were! I twisted my ankle on your face Superboy. That’s pretty bad.”

“Robin.”

That shut Wally up real quick.

“Report.” Batman said as the team shuffled into base in various states of disarray.

Robin’s team was lined up behind him just as embarrassed as he was. Robin was beet red as began.

“Our mission did not go as planned.”

Part one

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