#some awful fucking women get to be mothers and have no issues with fertility and that’s so fucking sick and twisted

[rawfather]

scared to be actually tested on if i’m fertile or not

[mmecolbert]

Also can we talk about rory cheating on her boyfriend with Logan. In the OS she threw a fit when Logan slept around while they were on a not clearly defined break... Rory would have never been so forgetful about a boyfriend and would have never cheated.

Ehhh, I don’t know. The OS established that Rory is pretty prone tocheating, or at the very least, toeing the grey line. Do you remember thathorrible advice that Lorelai gave Rory after Rory kissed Tristan like a dayafter she and Dean broke up and she was feeling guilty about it and wanted tocome clean to Dean? Lorelai told her that telling Dean would only hurt him. AndRory took that advice straight to heart, because from that moment forward sheeither cheated on, cheated with, or came close to cheating on every guy she waswith. Rory emotionally cheated on Dean with Jess. She also kissed Jess whileshe was with Dean. She didn’t cheat on Jess, but she was definitely showingsome questionable behaviour with Dean when she was dating Jess. Obviously, sheand Dean slept together while he was married. She not only kissed Jess whilewith Logan, but she also started seeing Jess “as a friend” while she was withLogan, behind Logan’s back. So the precedent for her to cheat on her partnerswas there…

The thing that gets me though is that Rory essentially became the worstpossible version of herself in AYITL. As she grew into an adult, it’s as if instead of learning from her mistakes and stop making them, she decided to double downon them. To me it seems that ASP eliminated all of Rory’s good traits and leftonly the bad… For any Community fans out there, I interpret Rory’s AYITL storyas the Darkest Timeline.

In the OS, Rory does cheat—or comes close to it, but we can see whyshe does it and how it can be justified. With Dean, she didn’t really have agood reason to break up with him (especially with Lorelai constantly tellingher how perfect Dean is) and didn’t want to hurt his feelings as she began tocrush on Jess. With Jess, once they were together, she realized that he treatedher far more poorly than Dean did, and she immediately began to pull back toDean. With Dean 2.0, Dean sorta duped her into cheating.

The Logan/Jess issue is interesting to me, because had Logan not comeand interrupted Jess and Rory’s dinner, I wonder how far Rory would have takenher “friendship” with Jess. Because in not telling her boyfriend that she wasseeing her ex while Logan was out of town, Rory had established Jess as her “secret”friend, and seemingly began to repeat her Dean 1.0/Jess emotional cheatingpattern. Her stopping the kiss with Jess and saying that she “can’t even cheat”on Logan like “he did” on her suggests that 1) she only considers sex ascheating 2) she still for some reason believed that Logan had cheated on herand 3) will only refrain from cheating if she’s in love.

We should also remember that Rory never breaks up with the guys she’sdating. Dean always broke up with her. Jess disappeared on her. She and Loganwent on a two month long “break,” during which they broke up through Logan’ssister…. Rory never actually ends relationships. Even in AYITL, it takes two-threeyears, but it’s Paul who breaks up with Rory. The closest Rory ever gets tobreaking up with a guy is when Rory and Logan end their non-relationship, whichthey sorta mutually decide to do.

With that in mind, I’m not surprised that she ended up cheating on Paul.She was not in love with him. I don’t think she even liked him. Why she evenbegan dating him baffles me because in the OS it was clear after she broke upwith Dean to be with Jess, got bored of Dean 2.0, and turned down Marty, thatRory is not interested in “nice guys.” But even if we accept that for somereason she started dating Paul, without a doubt by the time that we see her inAYITL, she cares for him so little that she can’t even remember him. Like withevery other guy, she had no guts or time or who the hell knows what to break upwith him. The ground was therefore fertile for her to cheat.

Why she didn’t feel bad about it though and kept on doing it (WITHLOGAN, WHOM SHE DEFINITELY LOVES) makes zero. fucking. sense. In the OS, Rory’scheating was unintentional and involved a ton of guilt. In AYITL, she’s justdoing it without a second thought. It’s as if between the OS and AYITL, Rory stoppedfeeling guilt? Did she become so self centered that she can no longersympathize or empathize with others? Is she a narcissist who’s totally unawareshe’s hurting others?

The only theory that I have for Rory’s AYITL behaviour is that ASP’s intendedgoal for Rory had always been that Rory was a “good girl,” who learned all thewrong life lessons from the people and environment that raised her. AYITL’sRory only makes any modicum of sense to me, if I look at Gilmore Girls as thestory of Perfect Rory’s Fall from Grace. That is, GG begins with Rory almost asan angelic child, whose character—with time and the environment she’s in—iscorrupted.

As I mentioned before, Lorelai always gave Rory awful advice, and Rorytook it to heart. Lorelai taught Rory at 16 that it’s okay to lie to yourboyfriend so it doesn’t hurt their feelings, so Rory learned to keep info fromthe guys she was dating and never break up with them and conceal her feelings(for other boys). Lorelai kept encouraging Rory’s relationship with Dean (evenwhen Rory was already crushing on Jess), and Rory learned to string men alongwhen she’s no longer interested in them. In being with Chris while he was withSherry, Lorelai set Rory an example that cheating is kinda okay if you want theguy badly enough and don’t like the woman he’s with. Even though Lorelaidressed Rory down for sleeping with Dean when he was married, Lorelai’s fear offracturing her relationship with Rory over it made sure that she never said anegative word to Rory regarding her relationships again. Lorelai also defendedRory to Lindsay’s mother and then supported Rory’s relationship with Dean 2.0,eliminating all of Rory’s guilt over the affair, so Rory learned that cheatingdoesn’t really have consequences for her. Beyond Lorelai, Rory’s grandparentsand all of SH, treated Rory like an angel. In fact, Rory’s is likened to anangel by GG characters throughout the OS. Every character on GG goes out oftheir way to assume the best in Rory, never punish her for her mistakes, andalways believe that whatever Rory did must have been someone else’s fault (fansdo this too, btw). Whenever Rory ends a relationship with a guy or gets intoany trouble, remember that it’s the guy who’s evil in the eyes of SH residents,Lorelai, and the Gilmores. Not Rory.

As a result, Rory became this person who doesn’t realize that she can dowrong. Because everyone in her life will always excuse it. Hell, even in AYITL,Rory comes clean to Lorelai that she’d been cheating on Paul with Logan and theWookie, and Lorelai doesn’t react. Paul breaks up with her and Rory says toLorelai “I can’t believe how I treated him,” and Lorelai just smiles and says like,“that’s okay, he’ll find someone else and you’ll find someone else.” Literallyup until the last four words, Rory never faces the consequences of her bad actions.No one ever confronts her, no one ever calls her out, everyone assumes whatRory’s done isn’t a big deal or is someone else’s fault. Perfect Rory Gilmorecannot be anything other than perfect. Maybe this was fully intentional on ASP’spart?

Rory getting pregnant with Logan’s kid, which would have happened whilehe was (publicly!!!) engaged to Odette and Rory was in a relationship with Paul,I think, maybe is meant to be Rory’s fall from grace. In the same way thatLorelai got pregnant at 16 and became a source of shame and embarrassment toher family and society, the circumstances under which Rory got pregnant are alsomeant to break that pedestal on which everyone had always held Rory. Maybe that’swhat ASP means by the full circle bullshit? In having this kid, maybe Rory—likeLorelai—will always have definitive proof of her mistake, badness, whatever else,which will permanently shift how people view Rory?

I don’t want to delve into the stupidity of the idea of pregnancy andchildren as punishment for women’s wrongs. Nor do I find the idea that onlythrough this “punishment” of having a child does a woman learn to become agood, responsible person. But that’s how I read what ASP was doing, and this ismy current theory for what ASP was intending to do with Rory and the fullcircle mess.

None of it is good. I think it’s really fucking stupid. I don’t agreewith what ASP did to Rory. I don’t think it makes for a compelling story,either. If my theory is correct and this really was what ASP intended, then Idon’t think she did it particularly well, either. On top of it, it’s bleak andcynical and far darker than the tone of GG as a whole, so beyond a bad story,ASP seems to have misread the tone of her own damn show. I repeat: it’s allreally fucking stupid.

[spontaneoushiccups-blog]

Indulgent Divulgence?

*Language Warning*

This whole experience has been such an interesting human experiment. Aside from the obvious emotional roller coaster we have personally been through as a family- it’s been fascinating to watch other people react. This is the first, or I guess I should say the most, really serious life and death thing that has happened to me, to us. I have always been an extreme extrovert, shocking people with my language and opinions since basically I learned how to speak. As I have aged and the sometimes unobviously rigid parameters of propriety have burned me- I have learned when it’s better to just keep my mouth shut- though it often requires special occasion. (I’m certain some people who know me and read that have already balked. “When might that be?”) It took being 29 weeks pregnant to write my first blog post about what’s been happening, but I think a lot of that delay was the moving of the goal posts. It took a long time for us to really understand clearly what was happening. When it first became clear to us that something was really wrong and that we were looking at major health complications for the baby, my step-mom warned me that people would be weird. My twin half sisters were super preemies, so she had been through the NICU nightmare and saw firsthand how people twitched at the thought of a baby tangled up in tubes.

Babies are like these beacons of hope, these beautiful physical representations of the future, of promise, health, fertility, love, sex, procreation, LIFE. Anything else and it’s like a records being dragged backwards against the needle. It just seems unnatural. It ruins the music. And yet- anyone who has been down the road of miscarriage, infertility, poor prenatal diagnosis, and even regular old healthy pregnancy and childbirth and the debilitating fear that tends to go with it, knows that biology can be cruel, and she often is. It’s a darkness that once you’re privy to, you can’t unsee. I recently watched Boss Baby with my 4 year old and I thought of the cartoon mom, “that kid is 7 and they are just having their second? Ugh she probably had some kind of fertility issues. Poor thing.” Or now that I am the size of a large gestating mammalian creature, as I waddle unsubtly down the street, I notice sometimes women avert their gaze, cast their eyes downward like they don’t want to look directly at me and I think, “Oh no. I hope my giant belly isn’t bringing up awful feelings of some post traumatic pregnancy issue- maybe I should tell them it’s not perfect.” But I don’t.

I remember after going through a miscarriage last year being stunned at how painful it was compared to how painful I thought it would be (because every pregnant woman imagines in the long 12-14 weeks before you’re out of the “safe zone” what it might be like to lose the baby.) Based on movies and the general shushed untruth that tends to go hand in hand with all things intimately related to reproduction in general, I didn’t understand how primally shattering that would feel. Though maybe no one does until they do. Everyone would say “it’s just the loss of promise” but it was more than that. It was the first time my body, my inner voice, my sense of confidence in the nature of things- my BIOLOGY completely betrayed me. I remember someone said to me on the phone “this isn’t a tragedy.” I hung up on them. It took months for me to even think about getting pregnant again, and even then I had to plan it six months out to be sure I was ready. I made it a conscious, extroverted effort to not be ashamed of my pain or my experience. To talk as openly as I could about it, no matter how uncomfortable it seemed to make people feel. (You know, in relevant context- I didn’t exactly wear a “ask me about my miscarriage” t-shirt- but...it’s not TOTALLY out of the realm of possibility that I might. Also I live in Portland so.)

1 in 3 women will have a miscarriage. The more I talked about it- the more those stories floated to the surface, and every woman who told me theirs still had that saddness in their eyes, no matter how long it had been, or how far along they were. They call it “suffering a miscarriage” for a reason. In many ways I am grateful for having already learned, and not that long ago, that my sense of what nature should be could be wrong, that the floor can fall out. It's been helpful to know that before we started on this current path with Iris. Somehow, while all this has been obviously painful- it wasn’t as surprising.

Social Media is a funny thing for hyper-extroverts like myself because the self doubt and fear of scrutiny or thought of people I love being embarrassed on my behalf generally doesn’t sink in ‘til a few days after the post. Wait- I am brave for sharing? Does that imply that I am brave for telling people and putting it out there despite what everyone thinks? Oh god, what does everyone think? Oh no- am I exploiting this awful situation for the brief feel-good of a "like"? Or So-and-so didn’t “like” the post, or say anything to me about it. Are they ashamed of my post? Too intimate? Too far?

We had another echocardiogram last week and it was really the first time we got to leave that awful poorly-lit clinic not deflated, in tears. They told us her A/V Valves and Pulmonary arteries are looking strong and healthy, we got to see her sweet face up close, so clear now with her little turned up nose and plump lips, and weighing in at nearly 5lbs it’s looking like she should rival or beat her sisters 8+ lb birth weight. All. Excellent. Things. A huge part of this challenge has been this subconscious inability to picture the future. I think any pregnant woman feels that way to a certain extent, but with this I can barely think past March, much less to preschool, teendom, adulthood? The end of pregnancy is so physically challenging that I feel like the excitement of the promise of your baby that’s just-around-the-corner helps to cushion the blow of the wait and the discomfort. When you aren’t exactly thrilled about the scary impending chapter, you’re just left with sore hips, insomnia, and a baby sea otter lodging its skull into your pelvis at the same time it wiggles it’s little toes up underneath your ribs. The high of the positive doctors visit quickly gave way to it’s sharper edge. Now that it was so easy to picture our big fat beautiful baby, it was also easier to picture them taking her from me; prodding and poking her, opening her chest, sedating her, all of the violent details sinking in leaving me feeling gutted.

I am the head of marketing for Portland Gay Men’s Chorus and we are embarking on a huge year for the company. Beijing Queer Chorus is coming to Portland for their first public performance in the U.S. and PGMC is headed to China in September as the first LGBTQ Chorus to tour there, ever. It’s a big deal because China isn’t exactly up to speed on equal rights when it comes to the gay community, (many members of the BQC still perform wearing masks to protect their identities) and the parallels of where they are today, and where the U.S. was in its early years of the company in the 1980’s are glaring. We are making a video to highlight those parallels and the historic significance of this year for the chorus. So I woke up last Saturday morning and had to go into work downtown to meet with the filmmaker and do the first batch of interviews, despite feeling cloaked with sadness. I knew it would be good to take my mind off things and get out of the house.

Gary was the first up in the interview chair and immediately launched into the raw realities of what it was like to be a gay man in the 70’s and 80’s in America. The unflinching history of being threatened constantly with violence, taught by his mother to walk less gay, losing scores of friends-that-had-become-family to AIDS (in the midst of being blamed for the epidemic) and the constant fight against all odds, just to live authentically. Harvey Milk told them to come out- come out to everyone you know despite what consequences it may bare because to live authentically is the only way to be free. Then they shot and killed him. The founding members made the conscious decision to put “Gay” in the organization name, despite how uncomfortable it made so many feel, because that’s who they were, that was the message they were spreading, and it required that for them, in the name of authenticity, to be acknowledged for who and what they really were. After a lifetime, and generations of suffering from being locked in a closet- so many had to learn by society widdling them down- to just say fuck it, and be their true selves at whatever cost. Anything else is prison.

I am so lucky that I love my job. A huge part of that I think is that I so deeply appreciate an environment with little to no bullshit. I found myself watching Gary’s interview feeling relieved and affirmed. Doing something bigger than yourself is always important for perspective, but doing something in the name of authenticity is imperative to human growth. While I completely understand not everyone is as extroverted as I am, I am confident in the ways I have chosen to handle this. To not be scared to talk about it.To be upfront with my experience and my feelings, despite trepidation of what others might think. If only for the hope that someone else out there- living with their own raw and real life situations, feeling trapped in their own closets, wearing their own kinds of masks to shield themselves from what society might think or do, that they might take comfort in knowing they’re not alone, either.

5 weeks til she is born.

ps- I would be remiss not to link to this concert. I will be in UT in the hospital with Iris- but if you're in Portland you should really go. March 17 & 18, Kaul Auditorium at Reed College. https://www.pdxgmc.org/concerts-tickets/

[courtanie]

You know what I hate?

Infertility in media.

You have two sides to the coin only more often than not. Either “Oh thank god I hated kids anyway” (Robin from How I Met your Mother, though I will say they did a fairly decent job of still giving her her own form of heartbreak over it in the course of a few episodes, even if it did kind of turn into a bit of a joke later on in the series) or, the far more common one of someone sobbing because they want kids SO much and are told they can’t have them and feel so alone. Then oh look they found the love of their life and wow now they’re pregnant on the last episode before the season ends and can bring people back to see how it turns out how spiffy.

Like

Up. Up is one of the few examples in memory of infertility being treated correctly. It’s a few fucking seconds of Ellie crying in the OBGYN office and Carl supporting her and they’re both fucking upset. There’s no miracle baby. I’m more than sure in the moments we didn’t see before they were repainting the nursery there was a discussion of adoption and how ridiculously expensive and painful it is to navigate through and the decision was made to follow other dreams.

Friends also did this fairly well with Monica and Chandler, given I still have issue believing they could afford the medical bills for the birth mother and I’m pretty sure there’d be a lot more trouble getting twins out of the deal when that wasn’t what was agreed on initially but sure fine why not. We got a few episodes of their struggle, we saw them finding they were both incompatible for procreation, we watched them fighting the adoption process and doing the interviews and whatnot. Overall, it was handled pretty well.

Like those scenarios are both pretty logical, or at least logical enough. What isn’t logical is miracle babies left and right without the mother also having an underlying worry and telling themselves ‘don’t celebrate until three months from now at least you never know if it’ll stay’. What isn’t logical is a woman going without fertility treatment and ending up pregnant. Does it happen? Sure. But not nearly as often as damn media would have you believe. What isn’t logical is a couple lucking into an adoption because a friend dies or they find a damn quirky but lovable orphan in the street and have a montage of cooking them food or some shit. Adoptions don’t work that way, you and the kid still have months of heartache ahead of you until shit is processed by the state.

I want a show that depicts fertility treatment. I want one that shows a woman struggling to stay within a certain diet because their GYN told them it could increase their chance of conception by a whole 5%. I want a show that properly shows her faking a smiling when someone introduces her to their kid and shows her the sonograms. I want her partner with her battling their own insecurities and helplessness in the situation. I want to see the talk so many women have after their friends announce a pregnancy going “I feel so selfish and I’m so happy for her but why couldn’t it have been me” and the constant rigamarole they put themselves through just because they want something so much. I want to see them upset on mother’s day, dealing with people asking them in public “are you a mother yet” “no not yet” “well one day :)” and not having the fallback of “I don’t want to have kids and I’m happy that way” to comfort them. I want to see them lose their SHIT at people announcing pregnancies as an April Fools joke and all but cutting off relationships with people who do that.

Anyone that’s infertile has long-since trained themselves to not rely on miracles happening. Infertility forums discourage people from sharing their miracle successes because it’s so fucking rare and it just hurts people not so fortunate. So why the fuck can’t media follow that guideline? Show the struggle someone goes through when going “I can’t have biological kids... so I’ll adopt. Not my first choice but at least I’ll have my baby and I’ll love them all the same” and then finding the pricey and risky requirements and they break all over again. Have them in a situation where the mother they planned to adopt from BACKS OUT after the baby is born and they lose their money and their child. Have them dealing with EVERYONE asking them “well don’t you want one of your own” because people are fucking awful to adopted kids and their parents.

Infertility does not make a person beautifully tortured. It makes them tired and upset and screaming and questioning their faith and wondering why the fuck they were cursed with “so much wrong with them” while they’re watching people they consider cruel and spoiled and ungrateful pumping out babies like a factory. Please just STOP this misrepresentation. Stop making the issue one writers find just because they need some drama in the plot that can magically be resolved at the end of the season with a pregnancy test reading positive. No one wants people falling over for them in sympathy, they just want to find bright sides without the miracle of sweeps week writing.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Teen YouTubers who faked a pregnancy apologize — and offer bad sex ed advice

Two teenage YouTubers were the subject of concern this week after they announced they were expecting a baby and had gotten "married" in Las Vegas. After dragging their followers through a four-part, monetized series, they revealed that it was just a "prank" and issued a very YouTuber non-apology for coming off as insensitive.  

Danielle Cohn, who goes by Dani, is 15 years old. Her boyfriend and fellow influencer, Mikey Tua, is 16. After dropping cryptic hints throughout the weekend, Mikey posted a hidden camera video of the couple telling their families that Dani was pregnant. 

They raised eyebrows when the two posted a later video of their "wedding" in Las Vegas — which Dani's mother clarified in a statement to BuzzFeed as only the two making a "promise" since Dani is too young to be legally married, even with parental consent. In the third installment, they visited a questionable doctor's office for an "ultrasound" to find out the sex of the hypothetical baby and listen to Mikey's father lecture them on responsibilities. 

But as their most recent and final part of the series reveals, it was all a predictable, inconsiderate prank. 

The two teenagers recorded themselves gathering friends and family for a gender reveal party. After releasing pink party streamers and popping a balloon full of pink confetti, Dani and Mikey interrupted the celebrations to read a note that had fallen out of the balloon. 

"You've been pranked!" they read from the note. 

"I'm not actually pregnant, OK?" Dani told the party attendees. 

SEE ALSO: A 15-year-old influencer says she's married and pregnant, but is it just for clicks?

It's bad, but it gets worse. In another segment of the video, Dani and Mikey tell their viewers that they "didn't mean to offend anyone."

"If you got offended, or if you looked at it in a wrong way," Dani starts, gearing up for a classic YouTuber non-apology. "That's definitely not what we were trying to do. We were just trying to make a fun video ... We've always seen pranks on YouTube, we thought it would be fun to prank you guys." 

She then explains that they "didn't think it was going to go as far as it did," which seems naive considering she has 3.5 million Instagram subscribers and Mikey has 608,000. 

Mikey tried to spin it as a public service announcement, taking direction straight out of Logan Paul's playbook after the disgraced YouTuber faced backlash for filming a victim of suicide for content. Like the way Logan dropped a last minute PSA intending to "raise awareness for suicide and suicide prevention," Mikey noted that "teen pregnancy is extremely serious" and told followers, "it's something that no one should take lightly." 

If faced with a possible teen pregnancy scare, he and Dani suggested talking to parents — Planned Parenthood recommends "an adult you trust" — and then rambled about various birth control methods without once using the words "birth control."

"There's a lot of situations you can get in off of doing those kinds of things without protection," Dani says, vaguely referring to sexually transmitted infections. She also alludes to fertility tracking and "rhythm" apps, which OB-GYNs are extremely cautious of because there's so much room for mistakes. 

While it is admirable that Dani and Mikey remind their young followers to use protection when engaging in sexual activity, even telling their audience that you don't need to be an adult to buy condoms at convenience stores, both teenagers come off as uneducated themselves. They're hardly in a position to educate others on sexual health. 

"It is not a joke," Dani says in what appears to be a last minute third segment. "I'm sorry if this offended you ... I hope you guys still love us the same you did before." 

She also dropped that a portion of the video's profits would be donated to Planned Parenthood. 

Dani's followers were not amused by the "joke" and expressed their distaste in her comments. 

“You’ve been PrAnkEd guys” Girl, the reality of how fucked up this is really gonna hit u hard if, God forbid, you struggle with infertility one day. 😔

— ʎppɐᗡ (@calmarrow) April 18, 2019

I would do anything to be pregnant as would many women out there who are struggling with serious issues. Whether it’s infertility, miscarriages, still births - so many awful situations and you’re joking about it! You should be ashamed, as should the adults around you. Grow up. 😤

— Emma (@Emmamburke0408) April 18, 2019

and honestly i regret doing it. i hope you become more mature with age, because honestly, you aren't mature at all. this is embarrassing to see.

— mary (@qirI_qroups) April 18, 2019

I don't know why would you joke like this this isn't Even funny girl some people can't have fuckin kids I had 2 miscarriages and I have pcos Whitch is really hard to get pregnant so I don't know what was your plan but it was really Fucked up

— Tiffany (@YaTiff123) April 18, 2019

This is so rude and disrespectful to those who cannot have children. Pranks are fun and okay, just not with serious situations like this. Pregnancy isn’t a joke.

— Ashtonnn (@asxtonnn) April 18, 2019

As many disappointed commenters noted, faking pregnancies or miscarriages is deeply inconsiderate to those struggling with fertility. And joking about teen pregnancy, especially when your audience skews younger, is completely misguided.

But that criticism appears to have gone over Dani and Mikey's head, because she concluded the fake gender reveal video with some classic sponsored content from an energy drink company. 

WATCH: Blackpink sets new YouTube record with 'Kill This Love'

[swearronchanel]

6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me

I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts  

¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME

BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST

TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG

IM SCREAMING

aw baby! & hey val

Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??

MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY

SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH

Sister MJ I love u 😭😂

Family planning clinic!

YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!

YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP

aww poor Barbara

“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW

It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭

SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?

All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..

BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW

AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕

MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔

“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me

I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*

my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?

lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.

Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!

Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭

“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY

“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS

"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY

OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖

PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕

THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭

“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!

“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown

Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?

The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕

Lol poor Fred tries his best !

Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife

SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>

OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY

“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS

but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)

this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme

Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later

LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION

it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.

Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally

poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂

Her face while on the bed😂 I feel

LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA

BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??

Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting

She doesn’t want him there .. for now?

“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals

“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

I CAN NOT DEAL

Phyllis exercising 😭😂

“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART

PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??

why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?

HERES COME MORE TEARS

THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON

Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?

There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?

OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA

new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in 

that sports car aye

My bby looking good 😍😍

she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭

You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough

Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic

Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably

Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha

Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable

TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA

OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART

I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!

PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS

“.. she’ll have me to reckon with”  TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS

I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE

SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER

HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED

SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭

Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it

She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions

OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN

POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her 

Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough

I love pink waffers 😭😂

SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??

poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!

AW FRED HUG HER

and he’s fanning her omg so pure

SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY

but also she has a housecoat how cute

SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY

“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?

omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭

shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant

shelagh throwing up yikes

“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭

if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo

PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J

AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!

IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS

HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?

Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!

I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG

IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT

Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔

“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J

“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”

¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that

SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE

PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE  

I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”

MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING

IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER

Get in there Patrick!

“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢

OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT

I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES

IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !

BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼

WHAT IS HIS NAME???

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL

“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭

I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM

WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING

BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!!  STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES  !! & no excuses it happened for downton!

NO WILMA IS DEAD NO

The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling

NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment

why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol

My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍

Aw his daughter is cute

CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍

What are knickerbocker glories?

lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)

REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE

OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC

IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD

THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT

I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET

LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭

SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?

Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS

The stain glass !! love it

PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW

WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment  but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !

HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG

damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭

“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭

THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭

THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously

“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”

VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH

Aw Angela with Tim!

My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD

“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖

I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE

lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same

PATSY!!!

SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG

GOOD FOR THEM 😭

ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!

“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS

IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??

BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT

ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS

IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME

TBH ITS PROB HELL

Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!

In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*

[gwynne-fics]

Becoming Royals

separation p4

“Young-Do? Can I come in?”

He grunted at Bo-Na’s tentative request from where he laid face down on his bed. His arm still ached and he couldn’t move his shoulder. He knew it would be worse the second day but knowing and feeling were two different things. He listened to the sound of her skirts rustling as she closed the door. “Sit up. I’m going to wrap your shoulder.”

Young-Do weakly pushed himself up and tried to pretend holding the main support beam across his back didn’t hurt as he removed the top part of his pajamas. It had been a while since any of the court ladies or Hyun-Joo looked in on him. He glanced over at her and smiled faintly. “You’re getting better with your makeup. Your lips look nice today.”

Bo-Na smiled at him and came over with what appeared to be an ice pack. He hissed when she set it against the top of his shoulder and wrapped it into place with strips of cloth. “You commenting on my makeup is weirder than the other ladies laughing at me. Makeup is like picking up a weapon for the first time. It just takes practice to do it well. I don’t have a mother to tell me how to do it so I’m making it up as I go along.” She paused and then sighed sadly. She could probably see the other bruises forming on his back. “Did you get in trouble with the king again?”

Young-Do hated that the other noblewomen laughed at Bo-Na’s attempts to be like them but he didn’t know how to fix it. As the crown prince, he might make it worse. He’d asked for Mother’s advice but she told him to let it alone. He couldn’t afford any favoritism towards Bo-Na after rejecting her. 

He wanted to ask Rachel to...mentor her but he didn’t know how she’d feel about it if he tried to explain that Bo-Na was sometimes a boy and sometimes a girl. The general didn’t stop her. 

“I’m not supposed to have the mandate yet. My star is rising too quickly.”

“My father says that’s all bogus. If he waited on the stars to align to attack, he wouldn’t win any battles because stars are very slow. Do you have a wedding date yet?”

He closed his eyes and tried not to groan at that complication. “Chang-Soo says she needs to be in the palace for him to get a sense of the best date.”

Bo-Na giggled. “You can hurry that along if you just talk to her. Ask her the date of her last issue and how many days it takes to go from one to the next. He wants to make sure picks the best days she’s fertile and not accidentally pick a day she’s bleeding.”

Young-Do turned and looked at her with a dropped jaw. Bo-Na reached out and closed his mouth. “You mean, the reason I have to wait two to three months after she’s brought here is because the court ladies would be reporting on her dirty laundry to our astronomer?”

“Women’s bodies are miraculous, Young-Do. Our dirty laundry holds all sorts of secrets.” She hid her snicker behind her hand. “Wait here. I need to get the hot towels. You can change and lay back down.”

“How do you know all of this?”

Bo-Na sighed softly. “My father had the gisaeng teach me. He understands that I am sometimes a girl and sometimes a boy. He explained that my body is female so I have to understand how it works. I spent my life surrounded by men. He wanted me to know everything about my body to make me the best warrior he could. That includes the parts of me I don’t share with men. Well, not yet anyway.” She paused and then said cheekily, “He also doesn’t trust men to pull out. So I had to learn all sorts of ways not to get pregnant. I think, in the end, he wishes I was more like Queen Jae-Kyung. He took me to the pavilion once, when I was a boy, just to see if I wanted girls.”

“And?”

She shrugged. “Women are lovely but I like Im Chan-Young more.”

“Has he even said one word to you yet?”

She smiled softly before she wrinkled her nose. “I think I’m just going to show up in his room one night. That will make something happen.”

“He is so far beneath you, Bo-Na. He’s not even an officer. You aren’t a noblewoman. If your father dies before you get married...Your brother...”

“I have every faith that the new king will protect me. My brother...” she sighed and shrugged. “I’m a better leader. If it comes to it, I can be a boy forever. I’ll just put on my armor and lead one of your armies. You know I’m good for it.”

But that wasn’t what she wanted. Bo-Na discovered dresses and hairpins and makeup this last year. She wore it all awkwardly but she loved it. He caught her spinning around in circles once just to feel her dress fling out around her in ways her armor never did. Young-Do pointed out that men’s and women’s clothes were similar enough but she insisted that the difference mattered when she was a girl. 

He sighed and rolled onto his stomach while she went to get the hot towels. He was surprised at the knock on his door because he thought she would come in again. When he hesitated, Hyo-Shin said quietly, “It’s me.”

“Come in.” He tried to sit up but Hyo-Shin put his hand on his back and shook his head. Young-Do was a little shocked to see him. He left almost immediately after the accident. “Did you kill your horse?”

“Do you know that I can get from Rachel’s province to the capitol in nine hours?” He smiled faintly and produced a letter. “It only took me three horses. Just in case you were curious and wanted to try for yourself.”

Fifteen fucking days. Then two or three fucking months.

“Did you tell my mother not to worry? Did you tell Rachel?” Hyo-Shin looked away and Young-Do growled at him. “What can they do all the way out there? I will be fine in a week. We have to build that bridge, Hyo-Shin. Going around the mountain to avoid that river takes too much time. We need--”

“I know. Your mother is coming back. Rachel is...My father visited her. I think she handled it well. Young-Do, people who love you are allowed to change their plans to take care of you.” To make his point, Bo-Na returned and placed the hot towels on his back.

“Nine hours? Really? It took me a day and a half to get there.”

“Three horses. Do you want to read her letter? I can do it for you.”

“No,” he said selfishly. “Her words are for me alone.”

Bo-Na laughed softly and flicked him on the back of the neck. “You should let Hyo-Shin write some poetry for you. Yours is awful.”

“She would recognize it.” He glared up at Hyo-Shin. “I saw the stuff you used to send her. Are you still doing that?”

“It isn’t for her and she knows it.” Young-Do made a disgusted sound. He was still doing it then. “Do you want me to write you poetry for her?”

“No.” He buried his face in his pillow. Fifteen days. “It’s better coming from me and I don’t write poetry. I’m not going to look something up and copy it down either so don’t suggest that again.” He squeezed his eyes shut so he could give them the fear eating away at his heart. “It’s been too long. Her feelings have changed. Her letters are distant.”

In the wake of their silence he almost took it back until Hyo-Shin said, “Read her letter, my prince. I think you will find they haven’t.”

Bo-Na helped him sit up after she removed the now cold towels. She made him go through all the stretches and carefully checked his neck. Hyo-Shin took his hand and held it while they both ignored the tears forming in his eyes. “I will tell Court Lady Baek to bring you some tea.”

She stood and left them alone. Hyo-Shin handed him the letter and kissed his forehead before he stood. “She says she knows your letters are being watched and that’s why she’s been so formal in them. She charged me with delivering this to you personally. Her feelings haven’t changed.”

He bowed and left. Young-Do slowly opened the letter and tried to ignore the tear stains.

My prince, how I wish I was by your side. I am envious of the bridge, the river, even the mud because it gets to pass through you and I do not. I am afraid our enemies will take you from me before I get to see you again. It is fourteen days until I am to come to you. I do not know how I will sit in a palanquin in silence, not speaking to you, as we did when we rode together. I miss you.

Remember that your body is mine. Do not be so careless with it again. I love you, Rachel 

Young-Do closed his eyes and for the first time since the bridge fell on him, he could breathe. He ignored the pain while he stood and went over to his desk. He did have one poem that he liked ever since he was young. Mother used to read it for him to help him sleep.

He hoped she knew it because it was all he had to safely express how much he loved her.

[socialattractionuk]

Why do younger men go for older women?

Hang on… Naomi Campbell and Liam Payne are dating? Since December? And no one bothered to tell me? WTAF?! *throws phone at where my personal assistant would be sitting if I could afford to have one*

I’m going to breathe and calm myself down.

I have breathed and calmed myself down.

Now I’m no longer angry at being kept out of the loop, I’m THRILLED that 48-year-old Super Naomi is (rumoured to be) seeing 25-year-old popster Liam. It’s bear sick. (Thank you.)

As the creator of the word WHIP (Women who are Hot, Intelligent and in their Prime – or Primark if times are tough), I applaud these ‘finger up at society’ age-gap relationships.

Older men in relationships with much younger women? Of course. Why not? He’s mature, experienced and powerful, and she’s firm, fertile and fuckable. Why wouldn’t they get together?

But older women in relationships with younger men? OH MY GOD! HE’S GOT A MUMMY FIXATION AND SHE, THE PREDATORY BITCH, IS SLEAZY AND SLY. AND, WHAT, IS SHE TRYING TO BREASTFEED HIM?!

Get a grip, lovers. The older woman/younger man dynamic is fabulous – and as natural as my sun-damaged face.

Bibi says it’s younger men who approach her now she’s in her 50s. ‘Maybe they just want to help me with my shopping bags’ (Picture: Bibi Lynch)

I’ve (almost) always dated younger men. The biggest age-gap I’ve had was 14 years. And we didn’t break up because he was 14 years younger than me; we broke up because he was a dick.

Dating younger men is bloody great. As I write in my WHIP feature (I’m quoting myself. Even I’m appalled): ‘The last two dates I went on were with a 26-year-old and a 35-year-old (not at the same time). And the men DMing me on Twitter are also in their 20s and 30s. These pore-less, firm-jawed men are clever, successful, creative, and absurdly hot.

‘They write, work in film, dabble in music and are super-interesting. They are men I would have killed to meet – but could never attract – when I was in my 20s and 30s. For me, it’s Twitter, not Tinder (or indeed toyboywarehouse.com) where  I’m meeting them. And we’re progressing from tweets to DMs, to the messaging app Telegram, to phone calls… and then to bars.

Naomi Campbell and Liam Payne are rumoured to be dating and having a ‘mind-blowing’ time (Picture: Mega/Splash)

‘And fun is had. You’d think the dates would be excruciatingly awkward, with cultural references tumbleweeding. But no. We talk about our work, about what we’ve been up to, about politics/the world imploding, and we laugh. (Not about the world imploding.) They are funny, intelligent men – there is no setting the dial low… There’s no feeling of being with someone younger. Until you step into daylight and see their skin.’

My friend Michelle, 51, from London, is dating a 37-year-old man. And she agrees with me about the attraction of younger men. She says: ‘1. They are fitter and have more stamina. 2. They are more used to seeing women as equals. (My boyfriend’s boss is a woman.) 3. Men of my generation pay lip service to the idea of liking strong women but tend to fall back on stereotypes and expect to be mothered. And 4. Younger men are also less sexually inhibited and more adventurous in bed. This is based on one man, really, so these are huge generalisations, but that’s my two cents’ worth!’

So we know why women adore younger men. But why do younger men go for older women? I got out my little black book (old-skool) and remembered none of my exes are talking to me – so I asked online instead.

James, 42, from Wales: ‘I can only speak for myself but I am always drawn to women who are older than me. There is something very attractive about women who have real life experience – and the perspective and lack of fucks left to give that that brings.

‘A woman who’s seen it all and cuts through the bullshit is far more interesting, open and intellectually stimulating to me. I’m also someone whose cultural reference points are “before my time”, so I find it surprisingly easy to find common cultural ground with older women.

‘I don’t believe all that tosh about Freud and mummy issues, and I never went to public school… I think my turn-ons are all very healthy and not particularly complicated – but I do find something awe-inspiring as well as alluring about older women: older women who are confident and assertive; who know what they want sexually and are unafraid to tell you – rather than expect you to psychically unravel their feminine mystique like some erotic code cracker.’

Boom! *books train to Wales*

More: UK

Porsche Driver branded selfish for taking up two spaces in car park

Yungen admits he's 'disappointed' over Liam Neeson race row: 'Why would you say that?'

Charity places 226 pairs of shoes on steps to represent every child lost to suicide

Another online friend, Big Dave, a forty-something in Dubai, feels the older women love too. ‘I do love older women,’ he says. Told you. ‘I have since I was a young lad. When you were young they were exciting, vibrant and a step into a world you didn’t know much about. Now I’m in my 40s, I find them interesting, more relaxed and more experienced in life, love, travel and sex. Which is pretty perfect. I also love them in leopard print – but that’s another story…’

Someone’s been looking in my wardrobe… *books flight to Dubai via Wales*

John, 35, from Milton Keynes, is hearing this too. ‘I guess there are people who fall in love with an older woman, and those whose kink is older women. I don’t have that kink, but the only woman I’ve had strong feelings for in the last few years was an older woman.

‘For those whose kink is older women… Perhaps they had Mummy issues as a kid? They’re naïve and they want a more experienced woman? Or maybe they’re stuck on the stereotype of the cougar after watching American Pie and Stifler’s mum on repeat during their teenage awakening. Jennifer Coolidge has a lot to answer for to the people of my generation.

There may be something predatory about it as well, John suggests. ‘Young kids wanting to think of themselves as players preying on the older women dancing around their handbags on the dance floor. This is more of lust thing though and not someone in search of a relationship.

‘[For relationships] I don’t see the issue myself – certainly in terms of attractiveness. The difference between an attractive women in her early 30s and one in her early 50s is not as big as the latter would tell herself it is. And this [their attractiveness] often comes with an attitude that is very attractive too. There is something very cool about someone who gives less of a fuck than someone in their early 30s, who may be wrapped in insecurity.

‘Older women are less naïve and not into the braggadocious nature you have to display to get yourself noticed in the market place. Older women have attitude, are hot and are generally fabulous.’

Oh for God’s sake. I have to fit in Milton Keynes now, too. Thank the sweet Lord for my Senior Railcard.