#solo;mga5cb

[rkhendery-blog]

━ episode 1 ; june 27th, 2019  •  callbacks

THE INTERVIEW mentioned : @rkxminkyung, @rktaeil, @rkheejin, @rkyeji, @rkcoco & @danielxrk

an interview? it isn’t that he hates them, but he’s never been that fond of them - he’s always worried he’ll slip up and say something wrong. he used to have to do them once or twice with his band for random youtube interview channels. those were a lot less formal than the ones for the mga’s seemed to be, going by the interview during the first audition stage. 

so, when he’s called off into another room, where he gets poked and tickled with makeup brushes for a couple minutes, he’s trying his hardest to calm his nerves, though his hands wringing in his lap, clammy as seems usual during this process. however, once his makeup is done to the makeup artists standards, the woman who led him into the room, who has a kind smile (at least compared to the interview lady from the previous audition stage) raises a clipboard with a smile and asks if he’s ready to begin - he nods, smiling a small, clearly nervous smile. 

“so, guanheng, how did you feel when you heard you’d gotten a callback?”

he’s not entirely sure how to answer, if he’s being honest. “i was... surprised? though i guess most people must have been - it’s hard to believe in your own capabilities until someone else sort of... draws back that curtain for you... i guess.” it’s a dumb answer to a frankly rather dumb question, but he supposes he could continue. “but, of course i was glad, and excited.” that’s what they want to hear, right? there’s some truth to that, though not as much - he was glad, of course he was, this was something he was excited about, and wanted to do well in. 

“what was your reaction when the judges were revealed?”

should he answer truthfully, or not? he decides for a slightly softer version of the truth. “well, in all honesty, i didn’t have much of one? y’see i’m rather new to being a fan of this sort of music; this industry. so up until recently i probably couldn’t have told you any of their names, besides maybe tiger jk. but i know them now, of course, i did my research!”

“and, how do you think your performance went?” 

“well, i would hope.” he answers instantly, with a soft chuckle. “it went pretty good - at least for how i practised it. of course, how well i did is really up to the judges. i hope they think i did well too, and i hoped the other contestants watching enjoyed it too!” he always wants to make people enjoy his performances, even if he’s not always as sure of them as he could be, the main thing was that he enjoyed himself, and that his audience enjoyed themselves too. 

“were there any performances in particular that you liked?”

“i really liked minkyung and taeil’s! oh, and that heejin girl! she definitely caught my eye! i’m a bit of a sucker for guitar players - oh, i should mention coco, too. yeah i liked them both!” he recalls the performances, smiling as he thinks of the ones he remembered clearly. 

“what about performances you didn’t like?” 

this question he frowns at. “not really. of course, i had my favourites, but no one really stood out as significantly bad to me, even if it was just for my taste. i appreciated how much effort everyone put into their performances, so to single someone out and say i didn’t like their performance wouldn’t feel right to me - im just glad if everyone had fun!”

“and what did you think of hwang yeji’s performance?”

it takes a while to remember who the name belonged to, and when he finally realises it was a dancer he hums. “i’m... not a great dancer myself, so i was pretty impressed - to me she looked like she really knew her stuff, her body was all.. strong but liquid at the same time. it’s crazy i wish i could dance. i guess i’ll have to learn if it make it further.”

“so, who do you think is certain to move on, or someone who you think will be eliminated?”

“again, i really can’t say on the elimination front, since everyone did so well, and i’m not really qualified to be judging. i’m biased for guitar players so obviously i’d love to see heejin and coco to go through! for someone i think is bound to go through? possibly that daniel guy? i’m pretty sure i saw him talked about online last year - he was in this last year right? anyway, i’m sure he’s got experience, so he’s bound to get really far.”

“thank you, that’s all!”

he’s ushered back to his seat in the studio, finally able to relax a little again, though not for long, when he realises now all he has to wait for is the judges decisions, and his heart begins to pound. 

[rkhendery-blog]

━ episode 1 ; june 27th, 2019 •  callbacks

singing : HISTORY MAKER by DEAN FUJIOKA (1:22 - 3:07)  playing : electric guitar outfit :  ☀

honestly, guanheng was pretty surprised when he got the email to say he’d made it through the cut and was in callbacks. only 100 people, and he was one of them? it seems pretty surreal, and each time he got that little bit further he realised just how excited he was for this, to see where it took him; if not to a training contract, then to some self-discovery? 

all he wanted right now was to be able to perform again. 

he had a week this time to come up with a performance, and make himself presentable for it - aka not looking like some eboy that jumped right out of instagram. it was pretty easy to pick a song; one he already knew the lyrics too, and how to play on the electric guitar. it didn’t take him long to fiddle around until it fit the time restraints. 

the outfit was a tiny bit more troublesome, so, he asked an instragram friend for help and within a day or two he had his outfit ready - a fancy white shirt, floaty black cut-off pants, and some sparkly kitten-heeled boots. it wasn’t super out there, but at the same time it wasn’t boring - a perfect match for the kind of person he’s like. 

finally, the day arrives, and he pulls himself out of bed, fixes his hair to look presentable, then tugs on the outfit that’s bound to get him some stares on public transport. slinging his guitar in it’s case onto his back he heads out, hands already clammy at the realisation of what he’s heading off to do. 

the studio is odd, unlike anything he’d ever seen before, really - it’s like seeing the bare-bones of the things he watches on tv. it’s odd, like he’s seeing something he’s not meant to, almost. the sea of unfamiliar faces is, thankfully, broken up by a familiar face here and there - he spots dejun’s cousin, xuxi, clearly dressed to impress, across the room. then, taeil, who he’s exceptionally surprised to see - he didn’t know he had any interest in performing. even so, he takes the seat beside him with a friendly smile, quiet greeting, and then leaves him be, wondering whether he’s as nervous as guanheng himself is. 

he should probably be more in awe of the judges, he realises, as people gasp and exclaim in loud whispers when they’re revealed. he’s probably not paid enough attention to the industry to be intimidated, as it seems many other people are, but then he supposes that might be to his advantage - if he’s not already terrified of them, he’s less likely to mess up. 

time passes, and people perform - a girl called heejin does well, in his opinion - a fellow guitar player, so he already both likes her, and sees her as competition, though more so in a lighthearted kind of way. he makes a mental note to keep an eye out for her later on, before his attention is pulled right back to worrying about his own performance. 

it feels like forever, yet no time at all before his own name is called - he thinks by baek jiyoung, though he’s so unfamiliar with the ceo’s that it takes him a couple seconds to be sure that it’s her and not katie lee. he takes a deep, shaky breath, his guitar already pulled from it’s case, and with it hung across his body he makes his way to the stage. 

it’s a little difficult to bow with his guitar hanging in front of him, but he makes it work, smiling a small smile at the judges. “hi, i’m huang guanheng, i’m 21, and i’ll be singing for you today. thank you.” he speaks into the mic, set up on a stand, and then takes a step back, hanging his head to prepare himself for a moment. 

then, with the first few plucks and strums of the strings he sways a little, working his way into the song. 

can you hear my heartbeat? i've got a feeling it's never too late i close my eyes and see myself how my dreams will come true

it’s a slow start, and he knows it’s probably a well known song after yuri on ice became such a huge things a few years back, so he tries his hardest todo it justice, knowing it holds a special place in many people’s hearts (his included). he picked the second verse to start on, rather than the first, because he liked how there was more variation to the well-known tune; the higher note on ‘see myself’ for example. 

there'll be no more darkness when you believe in yourself you are unstoppable where your destiny lies dancing on the blades you set my heart on fire

the next part has a nice, but clear build-up, just as it should do. his fingers easily strum the notes, though his hands are mainly on autopilot, having played the song so many times before that it’s merely muscle memory now. he’s able to focus on his voice this way, not that he needs to - singing the song is it’s own kind of autopilot. 

singing, though, he knows, takes more concentration - because you can’t just sing, you’ve got to put emotion in, make the audience feel it. 

don't stop us now, the moment of truth we were born to make history we'll make it happen we'll turn it around yes, we were born to make history

this part, in guanheng’s opinion, is probably the prettiest part of the song, not only because the music almost raises goosebumps on his arms, but because he likes the way determination fills the lyrics. he likes the message this song sends; he hopes it makes him out to be a little more confident than he really is. 

the chorus repeats, and his body moves, almost bounces to the music, a determined smirk gracing his lips (though forced there, past his reluctantly accepting barrier of nerves), trying to put on as much of a show as he possibly can. 

we were born to make history we were born to make history yes, we were born to make history

then, as he nears the end, that determined phrase, trying to drill it into people that he is a history maker, repeats. the affirmative statement of yes, we were born to make history is something he wants people to keep thinking after his performance, if not for him, then maybe for themselves - it could very well be an anthem for every contestant there. it’s we and not i for a reason. 

he drags out that last ‘history’, then stills, hands letting the last note ring out, before he drops them and breaks into a somewhat nervous looking smile. he bows, thanks the judges for watching him again, and then scurries off the stage and back to his seat, clutching at his guitar as though it would keep him grounded. 

though it was scary, he notes again, performing really is amazing. no wonder he’s still chasing that dream of performing somehow, in some way.