#soicalanxiety

[19livelife-tothe-full93]

When everybody and everything feels so distance from you right now , when you mite of mess up the best thing that has happen in your life , when you can’t help be feel alone over think everything and over analyse everything , when you know you don’t mean to do all these things but it just happen , when your mind Just wonders and puts you in this mind set and you can’t get out of it until someone reassure your just being silly and everything is okay 😢#soicalanxiety #feelings #thinking #overthinking #canthelpit #losingcontrol #losingthatoneperson #latenightthoughts #nighttimethinking #iknowbetter #canthelpfeelingthisway #needreassurance #justneedthatoneperson #someonetellmeitsgoingtobeok #isuck #instafeeling #justbeingstupid

[mumbleandson-blog]

Mental Health Week

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the things First Time mums feels.

Recently my feelings are scrambled, just a jumbled up mess of thoughts. I have good days, amazing days but to me they all mostly feel bad.

My son is the most amazing, beautiful little human I know and I feel like I constantly disappoint him.

I try my hardest to make sure he has everything he needs clean clothes, a full tummy, lots of laughter and most of all love. I give him all this but yet I feel like I’m not enough, the loud laughs he has for other people, the hard grip he has when I try to tear him from someone else’s arms when I try to take him. The crying when I move even the tiniest of inches.

Before having the baby all I did was think about everything I wanted to do with him and the mum I wanted to be but yet things don’t turn out the way you plan - I suppose it’s like the birth, you plan and expect it to go a certain way but in reality you are never truly prepared for the final outcome.

I now spend my days caring for this tiny little miracle but yet in myself I just have an overwhelming feeling of sadness, this stops me from doing little things like leave my house alone with him out of fear that I’m not going to be able to look after him without the protection and comfort of my house. I spend days stuck out of fear that I’m doing it all wrong…

Please first time mums or anyone who feels stuck in their own mind speak to your loved ones you are not alone.

[coffinforyourcoughin]

First day as a hosts ... Wish me luck. Or the power to not want to commit suicide (: