#softest ship and had to stay up ALL night to fix it lmao

[thefallons]

Origins --> Scotia&Charlie

Discord Transcript Timeline Points:

- Charlie finds out Scotia has a son (Charlie is 33, Scotia is 34, Jensen is 2) - Charlie confides in Dex about how to proceed - Charlie breaks up with Scotia, believing he doesn’t fit into his life - Dex confronts Charlie about how miserable he’s been - Charlie tries to win Scotia back, but first, be honest with him about wizardry - Scotia and Charlie agree to spend the night together, but in Scotia’s home - Charlie meets Jensen for the first time

It's been 10 months since they started seeing each other, Charlie is a regular at Scotia's bar and then one day Scotia’s babysitter doesn't show up. Scotia brings a two-year-old Jensen to the bar with him because his boss truly does not give a fuck. As long as the place isn't on fire the owner hardly cares and the staff basically runs it. But Scotia puts Jensen high chair at the end of the bar and lets him color some pictures. And then Charlie walks in and Scotia's heart skips a beat, his ears go red.

SCOTIA:

Scotia says nothing until Charlie notices the child and brings it up and even then, he hesitantly says, "That's uh...my son. Jensen. He- his babysitter had something come up so...he's with me today." Looking at Charlie like ...this is a bombshell...I know...think about it while I get you wine to process better. Jensen is just at the end of the bar, scribbling with some crayons, a sippy cup nearby. He's a child who isn't even fully aware he's in a bar because dad's in a rough spot.

CHARLIE: Charlie would be so confused. He would drink a glass or two, way faster than normal, and keeps throwing glances from Scotia to the boy. He thinks to himself, "Of course he has a son, he could even have a wife or a husband, who knows! You don't know him, what you have with him is just for fun, right? It's not like they're in a serious relationship so yeah, it shouldn't matter if he has one or ten kids hiding behind the bar, right. Right? So this is just an affair, I hope he isn't cheating anyone, though because I do not want to get involved with drama.”

SCOTIA: Scotia definitely notices that Charlie downs his drinks way too fast and as soon as Scotia can get away from his customers for a minute he comes up by Charlie with a third glass of wine for him. But Scotia takes a big sip of the wine before setting it down in front of Charlie and asking him, "Are you freaking out a bit?"

Charlie: Charlie literally just gives him a wide-eyed look because it's better than saying "YA THINK??"

SCOTIA: He's trying to keep his own cool and smile a little bit on the inside, he's like this is it this was good while it lasted.

"I-" he licks his lips when he sees the look like ok that was a dumb question, "There didn't seem like an appropriate time to go hey, by the way, I gotta run, I only have the babysitter till midnight. Would it have made it any better if I told you earlier?"

CHARLIE: "Yeah... That would've. Been... huh. For once I have no words."

Charlie gets up and grabs his jacket, trying very hard to remain cool and looking at the kid and then Scotia. "Listen– I think I need some time to-" gestures towards his head and sighs. "We can talk about this some other day?" he offers while asking himself the same, was that a good idea?

“For what it’s worth, he seems like a nice kid." And then he leaves.

SCOTIA: Scotia's face gets a little red at how Charlie is shutting down. He's literally already so stressed out, is at work, and now his object of feelings is making THAT face. He runs a hand through his hair and goes, "This doesn't change anything between us. You don't /have/ to go."

Charlie blasts through Dex's door and pacing from one corner to the other, trying to think about what just happened. Charlie had previously downplayed how involved he was with Scotia, only mentioning that he'd met this guy at a Muggle bar and that was where he vanished to some days of the week. And how Scotia was able to keep Charlie's attention because they both know how impersonal Charlie can be with some of his hookups, but no, this guy was actually interesting.

CHARLIE: "He has a kid, Dex." and just that throwing his arms up

DEX: Dex is wide-eyed. It takes him time to put 2 and 2 together that Charlie is talking about his hook up cause he's not sure why Charlie is so worked up about it. "O...kay? What's he, trying to get you to pay child support? Oh. Oh is he fucking married, Charlie, are you back to your homewrecking ways?"

CHARLIE: Charlie just being like this and he has to laugh, of course even when he isn't trying to do anything stupid, he still does it. "Dunno, Dex. All I know is that I walked into the bar and his son was there because the babysitter left."

"I wonder if that didn't happen, would I even find out? Who knows. Guess it really was supposed to be just a fling."

DEX: Dex's brows are still raised bc he can't believe. "Uh...what did he have to say about it?"

And then sits up suddenly and is like, "Wait, was this not a fling? Is this- did we shift gears somewhere there, Charles, do you have something to tell me?"

CHARLIE: Charlie stares at his friend for a full minute because hello can you please join my meltdown? Screw you, Dex. "Maybe. But I don't think there's any future for that now, so forget it."

DEX: "Wait, wait, wait, wait- back up. Did you want to know sooner? Did you want him to like you enough to tell you sooner?" Dex looks surprised as hell because does his friend have feelings? Charlie never has feelings this is absurd and he's not going to let it go, Charlie can hit him if he wants to. "Charlie, I am clutching my chest, I cannot believe you."

CHARLIE: "Yeah well. I can't believe some of the information I've been given tonight either so."

DEX: "What the hell's the story? What's his deal, why didn't he tell you about the kid??"

CHARLIE: "I know it's hard for you but shut up Dex. It doesn't matter anymore, okay? So pour me a drink. I've been vulnerable enough for one evening. Time to get hammered"

DEX: Dex sighs and lets it go for now. He pours Charlie a stiff drink and then pours himself one and lets loose, fully intending to circle back to this once they're plastered.

Meanwhile, Scotia types out about 7 different versions of a text to Charlie over the course of several hours but deletes all of them. It's probably late at night and Charlie is probably super drunk when his phone goes off and it's a text that just says, "Can we talk?" And Dex certainly snoops over his shoulder.H e's not subtle about the snooping, he never is, he and Charlie have so few boundaries.

CHARLIE: Charlie and Dex lie on Dex's bed but Dex is facing one way and Charlie is another. They're both drunk and Charlie feels tired, he needs the rest but he's still kinda upset. Then he sees the text Scotia sends him and oh. He lets the phone drop on his chest and finally says, "I like him. I think I have for a while but. I don't know. We don't really know each other, we fuck at a hotel and sometimes we have breakfast together before he has to go."

"And it was easy and fun, I wasn't paying attention to how long has it since we started or even how he kinda became part of my routine but today... Going to the bar and he seemed scared when I asked him about the little boy. I don't think he wanted to tell me."

"I don't think he wants more than what we have right now. And I respect that, I actually wished I felt the same, but still. Realizing there's a possibility that he actually has a whole family out there and I'm the dirty little secret– That's not. I don't want to get involved in that..."

"I've had enough of romantic drama for the rest of my life. I should break this off before it gets more complicated."

DEX: Dex is quiet for a few beats even after Charlie finishes speaking. He blinks a few times because his heart literally hurts for his friend, he'd go to the ends of the earth for Charlie and this is him in rare form. "Do you think he's this sad too?" He whispers finally. "Like right now, in this moment?"

CHARLIE: Charlie shrugs and says "Can't say, I don't think I know him as well as I thought. Perhaps he's just embarrassed to be caught in that situation where his lover and his son are in the same room."

DEX: Dex finally shifts to he can turn to his side and lean on his elbow and actually look at Charlie. "You don't want to know for sure? You'd just be content accepting your place as the dirty little secret forever? What if he has some kind of crazy story to explain and you just never know about it? Would you really just be okay drifting into the night forever and never finding out?"

CHARLIE: Charlie mirrors the movement to look at his friend, "Crazy story? That's what you're trying to convince me? I don't think I'm betting on that and even if it turns out to be true, it's better if I leave him alone. Could you imagine me being a stepdad? Because I can't."

DEX: Dex definitely talks about it with Charlie for a little while longer and tries to convince him to at least get closure for the sake of his own sanity. Tells him to not ghost Scotia solely to put a cap on his own feelings and deal with the heartbreak in a slightly more productive way. He doesn't care how convincing he is, just says his piece, and pats his friend on the shoulder like sleep it off, buddy. We can debate more in the morning if you need to.

Charlie agrees to meet Scotia again, even if he thinks he's going there to end things. He'll text him back and try to meet Scotia the following day, he wouldn't want to drag anything. He still likes Scotia enough that he wouldn't want to leave him hanging.

SCOTIA: Scotia feels lighter but also burdened all at once when Charlie texts him back. He'll want to meet at the bar because it's common ground but not when he's working because he doesn't want their conversation to get interrupted. He likes Charlie and he wants to set this right, he doesn’t feel good when they’re not talking.

Scotia probably tells Charlie to come in towards the end of his workday so he can get off the clock and give him his undivided attention. His heart literally skips a beat when he sees Charlie and it shows in his face. But when he finally gets out from behind the bar and finds a table for them to sit at, it's with a glass of wine for Charlie as a gesture of peace. "I missed you last night," he'll tell him quietly but then shakes his head a little because he knows that was stupid. He knows Charlie doesn't want to hear that right now, he just couldn't help himself. He takes a deep breath before Charlie can respond and add, "I didn't tell you I had a kid because that's not sexy. It's not sexy being a single dad who has to carve 2 hours out of the day for himself to do one thing that he enjoys. It's messy, a lot of what I have going on outside of us is messy but things are real good when it's just us and I think you think so too so I...didn't want just us to get messy too. Okay? God's honest truth. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to shoulder my burdens...." He hesitates, looks like he might say something else but he doesn't. Just licks his lips and sips at his water cause he's nervous and rambled. He didn't have to explain himself but it all just tumbled out.

CHARLIE: Charlie feels so conflicted, he understands Scotia's reason but he still stands by the idea that it's better for them to break up now. Charlie thinks their relationship ending is inevitable, also because of the whole secret wizard world he's hiding from Scotia.

"I'm a mess too, I get it. Ask anyone that knows me. Ask my brother, he'll hand you a list of all my major fuck ups so far and it would all be true." He pulls his hands back to his lap, clasps them together to keep them out of Scotia's reach, "But I don't wanna screw this up as well... I'm not ready for this, I'm sorry. I'm- I'm really sorry, Scotia."

SCOTIA: Scotia’s face falls when he realizes he’s being broken up with. This is hard and the opposite of what he wanted, the precise reason he hid his child, to begin with. His face shows his heartbreak and he can’t even hide it. Scotia has feelings for this man who is literally rejecting his child; his son is such a big part of his life. How is he supposed to beg for someone who can't handle his life in the long term?

"You're not gonna screw this up unless you do exactly the thing you're trying to do to not screw this up," Scotia tells him hoarsely. He literally cannot contain the crumbling in his eyes, "Right now, my son doesn't have a bearing on what we have. If you want it to stay that way it...it can stay that way." He says the words but they hurt because he wants more. If he didn't know it before, he knows it now that he wants more with Charlie.

CHARLIE: Charlie getting up too fast, knocking his chair behind him and moving to the other side of the table to reach Scotia. He's kissing the side of his face, his forehead, his neck and whispering he's sorry and that he hates to see Scotia crying. "I wish I was better for you."

SCOTIA: Scotia is so startled by the movement but when Charlie comes close to him he moves a hand to touch the younger man- to grip on to whatever part of him he can. It crushes him to hear the words but Charlie seems so sure and Scotia is a man of pride. He feels as though he's already begged and he's not going to grovel to someone who is determined not to be with him. He just bows his head to his chest and takes a shaky breath and takes in the closeness for as long as he can have it before Charlie leaves him.

Charlie tells Dex he went there to the bar to talk to Scotia and they're over now and it fucking sucks but Charlie believes it's better this way. So he'll just have to deal with it, it was his choice.

Dex waits for Charlie to show any signs of improvement but Dex doesn't enjoy it when Charlie acts fake with him. He calls Charlie out on his bullshit a few weeks later. He's like okay drop the act because you know this Charlie isn't for me. It's for the rest of the world. Try again.

CHARLIE: "I'm angry. I'm so angry, Dex, I don't know how to suppress this, I want- I hate feeling this, I hate how much I still think about him, I hate how attached I've gotten without noticing. I fucking hate it."

DEX: "Angry at what?" Dex looks so concerned because honestly, he wouldn't have called his friend out if he couldn't tell that he was about to blow. "Dude, you didn't even give yourself a chance," he continues the casual calling out. "If you're frustrated it's cause you quit without trying. And normally, in day to day...you're not a fuckin quitter, Charlie. You're a damn Ravenclaw, you see things through." Dex had observed how fast Charlie went from finding out something he didn't like to cutting and running and already was like uh oh, this is gonna hurt and be bad

Narrator's voice: Dexter was correct.

CHARLIE: "I fucking know, Dex, and that's why it feels so... Stupid! I am so convinced I'm not the type of person he needs I already bailed out! He doesn't need me not knowing what the fuck I want and risk getting his kid involved with someone like me." Charlie wants to punch something and given their history there's a chance he'll punch Dex just because he's the only one there. It's not the first time it happened and he knows Dex will forgive him or maybe punch him back if necessary, "He's... Just a guy I met at a bar." he tells himself, "He doesn't even know that my means of transport from here to his bar is my mind and my wand. He thinks I'm a Muggle... We don't know each other, so why is this so hard?"

DEX: "Someone like you? What the fuck does that even mean Charlie? Have you murdered someone lately? Punched a kid? Tossed someone off a building? You tried to break up with him because you thought he was married, you didn't even want to homewreck his imaginary relationships! What does someone like me even mean? You gonna talk down to Scotia's kid like your dad did to you? You gonna tell that kid he can do better no matter how hard he tries? You gonna shut him out, kick him around, break his ability to talk about literally anything?" Dex is nearly huffing at this point, he's so mad because Charlie is mad. They're just feeding off each other's energy. "Because unless that's your plan, I don't think your someone like me is valid. You're you, Charlie. You're not half fuckin bad, actually." He certainly looks and sounds angry despite his complimentary words.

CHARLIE: Charlie still looks crazy but he stays silent before saying, "You're so embarrassing, Dexter, did you just hear what you said?" Because he has to deflect, he doesn't want to admit what Dex said is true. There is a lot of self-loathing within Charlie but he wouldn't admit it or carry it as a flaw.

"Do you think- Should I call him? Will he even pick up?"

DEX: "You could sit here and wonder for another three weeks. Or you can just follow your gut and do it and see where you land. How much sadder can you possibly get at this point, right?"

Dex is still pretty hopped up on adrenaline from their level of emotions. He’s struggling to even be supportive without being aggressive.

CHARLIE: Charlie sits down and just breathes for a few minutes. He knows what he has to do, as painfully awkward as it will be. On his way out he hugs Dex from the back and tells him "What would I be without you, Dexter D'Angelo! Wish me good luck."

DEX: Dex definitely enjoys the love and tells Charlie he'd be a sad loser but not to worry because he'll never leave him so they'll never see that fate.

Charlie lands on the spot he always used to and feels like he fucked up the apparition because he feels so nauseous out of the blue. He knows it's still working hours at the bar, so he stays there thinking of what he wants to say until there are only 5 minutes until closing time. Only then does he walk in, slowly making his way to the bar and waiting for Scotia to notice him.

SCOTIA: Scotia damn near drops the three drinks in his hands when he sees Charlie's face. His mouth goes dry and he delivers the drinks. He almost tells the bartender he's working with to cover him the last few minutes but he takes a deep breath and tells himself to maintain his cool. He has the other person he's with bring Charlie a wine though while he waits. Just the dumb, cheap kind that Charlie likes.

CHARLIE: Charlie thanks the other bartender and tips but he doesn't drink any of it this time, just let it rest in front of him while he waits for Scotia

SCOTIA: Scotia's coworker is so up in his business too, like isn’t that the guy who used to just hang out during your shift all the time? Where has he been? Look at him, is he okay? And Scotia is like shut up and let me finish chasing these drunks out so I can take care of some business.

Scotia's al nerves though, he literally cannot imagine what Charlie wants with him all these weeks later. But he cleans up a little bit and then walks over to Charlie's table, face neutral but heart thundering in his chest. He literally cried in front of Charlie last time and that's so out of the ordinary for him, he's pushing himself so hard not to seem weak, not to seem like he can be taken advantage of. "Hi," he just says, sitting down across from him. He notices the untouched wine and gestures to it, "Not your brand anymore?"

CHARLIE: Charlie watches Scotia approaching him and part of him feels excited to be there, but his pessimist side reminds him there's a good chance they won't get back together.

"I wanted to make sure you knew that I was completely sober," he answers knowing Scotia didn't expect a real answer for that, but it was true, he needed Scotia to believe what he was about to say.

He pulls his wand from the inner pocket in his jacket and places on the table in front of them, taking a deep breath he speaks, "I haven't been honest with you either, Scotia. This," he nods at the piece of wood in front of them, "Is my wand. My wand that I use.... For magic." he's probably trying very hard not to come out as funny although it sounds ridiculous.

"I'm a wizard, Scotia. A real one."

SCOTIA: Scotia shrugs when Charlie turns down the drink and pulls it towards himself to take a big sip. He raises a brow at the item that's placed between them, dismissing it as a tree branch at best. "Excuse me?" He damn near chokes on the wine. "Charlie, honestly, of all the excuses to come back here after getting spooked from meeting my kid- no, you didn't really even meet him, actually. You glanced at him. From a distance. And then ran. And you never really came back. So for this to be your reasoning behind it. It- it's not amusing." He grows increasingly red in the face, leaning back in his chair to run both hands through his hair. He lets out a deep breath, eyes darting back and forth as he looks at the ceiling for a moment because he can't believe he let himself think or have hope that Charlie had really come back for him. Don't fucking cry again he tells himself. Do not

CHARLIE: Charlie isn't sure if Scotia is mad at him for not coming right out of the gate telling he wants to get back together or if he truly thinks Charlie is making a very convoluted excuse to explain why they broke up. He squints his eyes, trying to figure out if he ever made a joke so absurd that it would be possible for Scotia to believe he is lying about that.

"It's not- That's not why I walked away that day. But you heard me right? I'm a wizard, I'm really not fucking around. I'm actually a professor at a school of witchcraft," it does sound like crazy talk, "Scotia, listen, please." Charlie wants to calm him down so bad so he can just see he's telling the truth. "You're right, okay? About me getting spooked seeing your kid, I was terrified and I still am! I still... Believe it's not a good idea for you to add me to your personal life, because I am good at screwing things up and I know you'd never forgive me if I hurt your son."

"That's why it's so scary, that's why it feels like this is beyond what I can take. But I've spent the last weeks trying to move on but turns out I can't get over it. I can't get over you and I... I don't know when it happened, but I like you. I like you a lot. So. I wanted to tell you the truth of my identity as well and see if. If even with that added to the list of weird shit we'd have to deal with if you still... Wanted to be with me."

SCOTIA: "My kid, whose name you don't even know, Charlie, you didn't even bother. You-you just left. I get it, you were scared but..." Scotia narrows his eyes, "You could have at least tried to ask? You saw him and I was suddenly not good enough for you anymore and that-" He takes a deep breath, realizing he's getting louder and riled up. "Charlie, in my pants is in my fuckin person life. Too late, you were already there. You could've stayed on the other side of the bar from me forever and saved yourself the trouble of all this that way. But you already crossed that line, you were already in my personal life." Scotia clears his throat, unable to even focus on the crazy wizardry part anymore past his intense emotions related to their relationship- or lack thereof. "You cannot just walk in here and tell me that you want to be with me but that you won't be good for me if we're together. You cannot be unwilling to change to be better and stronger if you don't think you are those things now. If you don't feel like I'm worth at least trying to be good for then you have no place here tonight, Charlie."

CHARLIE: "I'm sorry for not asking your kid's name right then and there if it wasn't clear I was panicking beyond reasoning, Scotia. You say now that I was already in your personal life, but that's not how it felt. Up until a few weeks ago, I thought you still saw me as a good fuck and costumer. And I thought the same, as cruel as it sounds but it's true. For all I know, if it wasn't for your babysitter failing that day, you wouldn't have told me about your son at all. And it hit me that... I didn't know you. You could've been married with kids and having an affair with me just because.

I wouldn't even have the right to be upset, because we never talked about us. I didn't think there was an us to even talk about... So it took me all of that shit happening to see how much I wanted you, yes, is that fucked up? Maybe but that's how I realized.

And if me changing or becoming someone better suited for your life is what you need from me, then you're right, I don't think I'll have to be better, so why waste both of our times.

I guess I really have no place being here tonight."

SCOTIA: Scotia's shoulders deflate with the way Charlie comes at him. The longer the man goes on the more his desperation becomes clear and suddenly, when Charlie finishes rambling his thoughts, Scotia simply blurts out, "Thank you...for telling me all that." He licks his lips and takes a deep breath, not a panicked, and frustrated one this time. His voice is quieter when he speaks, trying to make Charlie actually listen to him instead of just hearing his words, "I didn't tell you about my son because I thought you thought this was just a good fuck, Charlie. You're right, we didn't talk about this but we should've. I don't just have breakfast in the morning with everybody- actually nobody, I haven't had breakfast the morning after with anybody since my kid was born and you can hear that whole story, plain and true if you want to. But I'm willing to bet you don't just come and sit in bars waiting for people's shifts to be over so you can get a good lay either. So...we should've talked about it."

Scotia shakes his head, his fingers fiddling with the wine glass in front of him but he doesn't take a drink, he can't bring himself to stomach a thing. "I don't want you to change to be suited for my life. I don't know who's asked you to do that in the past but it's not me. I want the exact opposite, I want you to realize you don't have to change to be with me. You keep telling me you're no good and you're gonna be bad for me but I haven't seen any of that in the last year." His last words are nearly a whisper because he can't fathom how else to make Charlie understand, "The only time you hurt me is when you tell me you're going to."

CHARLIE: Charlie hates every second of the honesty they threw at each other's face. It was necessary but it hurt and chances are it will hurt for a while before it gets better.

But he wants the other man so bad. Was it always like this? He knows he's always been attracted to Scotia from the start, but this ache of being apart... When did it become so real? Charlie didn't allow himself to get involved with anyone like this since he was young, engaged and so naive.

He also knew that like Dexter, Scotia didn't seem to be able to see all the ways Charlie was flawed beyond repair. Maybe they had a point, Charlie wanted to believe, maybe he isn't the bad guy he thinks he is.

Or maybe that's exactly who he is and that's why despite it being selfish, knowing only their determination to be together won't be enough, he wants to be with Scotia. He wants him, even if he believes it will end terribly.

"Stay with me tonight, please. We don't have to fuck or anything, I just. Don't wanna be away from you anymore."

SCOTIA: "Okay, yeah," Scotia nods instantly, "Just- let me make a few calls, I'm sure I can get a hold of someone-" He hesitates and then, "Unless...you want to come home with me?" Scotia clears his throat, "He'll be asleep by now. You don't have to talk to him, be with him unless you want to. It can still be just us."

He licks his lips and then adds as an afterthought, in the interest of them talking about things now, "This isn't a test, you can say no if you want to."

CHARLIE: Charlie doesn't hesitate, just nods and reaches out to grab Scotia's hands. "Let's go."

SCOTIA: As they walk out of the bar, Scotia tells Charlie to prove he’s a wizard, circling back to the untouched matter at hand that he certainly had not forgotten, simply prioritized under the well being of their relationship.

CHARLIE: Charlie doesn't say it out loud but he's definitely thinking "How the fuck am I supposed to apparate us safely when I feel like I can't even stand right now?"

"I... I've never been there, so I can't take us there but. Is there like ah famous monument or street near your home?"

SCOTIA: Scotia is so blown away thinking to himself, there's no way this is a thing so why not play along right? He tells Charlie the name of the main road that's a five-minute walk from his house looks at Charlie like he’s nuts.

CHARLIE: Charlie thinks hard if he's ever been there and knows the place well enough, before pulling Scotia close and saying, "Hold on and don't let go. Really. Don't let go."

SCOTIA: Scotia puts his arms around Charlie tightly and hides his face into the crook of Charlie's neck, thinking, I'm taking a leap of faith with you, you crazy son of a bitch. And a snap, crackle, and pop later, he’s doubled over on the sidewalk, throwing up all he’s got onto the street. Now he’s hoping Charlie still thinks he’s cute after this new milestone.

CHARLIE: "The first time is always rough, isn't it?" Charlie laughs when Scotia's face goes green, "You said you wanted me to prove it." He shrugs

SCOTIA: Hearing Charlie’s laughter and teasing, Scotia shoves Charlie’s side despite being kneeled over. “Don’t make fun of me, you’re the one who did this! My God...you did this…”

CHARLIE: "You look like you're about to pass out, we need to get you to your house. Which direction, honey?"

SCOTIA: Scotia does not answer him, wipes his mouth, stands up, and just goes, "What the fuck was that? Is that how you-" He steps back. "Charlie, what?"

But then has to step towards Charlie again anyway to put a hand on his shoulder because he needs to steady himself.

CHARLIE: Charlie holds back his laugh, he doesn't wanna get shoved again. "So pet names are your weakness, huh. I'd so kiss you right now if your mouth didn't smell so bad, ugh, let's go, Scosh."

SCOTIA: It's hard not to believe Charlie after that so Scotia asks a hundred questions on the five-minute walk back to his place. 

"What the hell else can you do?" "What...happened to you?? Or are there more people like this" "I'm not gonna wake up and this is going to be an elaborate prank, is it?" "Charlie, did you fucking do that every time you wanted to see me?? That's absurd."

CHARLIE: "Yep, I literally bent myself in time and space just to see your cute face."

SCOTIA: Scotia stops to grin when Charlie says that. It brings him back to earth a little bit after the wild experience of apparating but as he finally finds his legs to walk again, to lead Charlie towards his home, he slips a hand into the younger man's. They rarely hold hands outside of the bedroom, let alone in the streets so it's new but Scotia doesn't want to make Charlie nervous by drawing attention to it. "Charlie, whatever you do- magic- whatever...it's never dangerous...right?" He asks hesitantly, still feeling crazy just saying it out loud.

CHARLIE: Charlie takes a quick glance at their hands together and the image of the last time their hands were like that flashed for a moment.

Scotia on top of him with his hand tight around Charlie's, pressing him into the mattress, kissing his collarbones, making him feel amazing–

Scotia's sad expression telling him "I missed you last night–

Charlie, you didn't even bother, you just left–

If you don't feel like I'm worth at least trying to be good for then you have no place here tonight–

"Right?" he heard and came back to reality. What did Scotia ask him just now? Danger in magic, okay.

"Hm, I think it's much like your type of society. We are capable of being dangerous, but we have rules, penalties, and conscience to know we shouldn't act or have those types of desires."

Charlie holds Scotia's hand tighter in his hand, wanting to reassure him it wasn't something he should worry about. "I've got an easy life, very privileged, even by wizards' standards. So I'm safe. I'm very safe here right now actually, with you holding my hand." he says, giving Scotia a wink and a smile.

SCOTIA: It's hard for Scotia not to be soothed by Charlie's smile and his easy words, the charming demeanor he presents despite himself. "Don't be upset if I ask you all of this again in the morning," He takes a deep breath, "You'll have to forgive me for wondering if I dreamt up most of it..." He gives a dry chuckle hearing about this side of Charlie's life he never knew about. "Charlie, the fact that you're here, right now...when you can do that and whatever else you can do..." He takes a breath, "It's kind of unbelievable. What I mean is that it means a lot to me. You are safe with me. You've always been."

When they get back to his place Charlie will get to watch Scotia let his babysitter go, give her a chunk of the tips he got from the night out of his pocket because she had to watch his kid for so long. But he'll show Charlie to the bedroom and tell him to make himself comfortable while he checks on Jensen real quick. Charlie will get to look around the small room that's so different from how he lives. It's an intimate look into Scotia's life but when Scotia does come back Charlie gets cuddled so hard. He'll hold him like he used to weeks ago when they were still doing this regularly. Kiss the back of his neck and try to relax him because Scotia knows even if Charlie isn't showing it, he has to be wound up about this to some extent.

CHARLIE: Charlie definitely reciprocates, even with all the things hovering in his head, reacting to Scotia's body still wins over everything He'll kiss Scotia until their lips hurt, fit his legs between Scotia's and smell his skin and let himself do what he's wanted for weeks.

SCOTIA: He loses himself in that touch, he revels in it. He missed him so much and between their kisses, Charlie will hear it. Breathlessly candid. But Scotia can lose himself in the moment and in the way they literally hold each other all he wants. He can escape their reality for a few hours and a blissful night's sleep. But the fact of the matter is he'll have to untangle himself from Charlie early in the morning because his toddler wakes up early. He'll have to tend to obligations of his life that he wants Charlie to be a part of so bad but without overwhelming him.

CHARLIE: But for once, Charlie wakes up first because he kept waking up in the night.  And one of those times, he gets thirsty and goes to the kitchen to grab some water. He basically wakes everyone up in the neighborhood almost screaming when he feels something touch his leg… And it's just Jensen

"Oh... Hi?"

Charlie's first interaction with the kid is almost him swearing and yelling. He stands there and the kid is looking at him with a tilted head clearly confused. Charlie is so awkward and scared. He'll do a childish wave with his hand and say, "I'm Charlie. You're Jensen, right?"

They end up hanging out on the couch between the kitchen and the rooms. Jensen clearly still sleepy but he was the one that climbed that first, Charlie just followed him. Charlie grabs the remote control and almost turns the TV on but Jensen's eyes went a bit wide when he touched that so Charlie felt like maybe he should not do that.

Charlie grabs one of the books on the coffee table and it's Jensen's and has thick pages filled with animals and simple scenarios. So he brings it and starts flipping through it. Not that he's interested but he has no idea what else he can do, he can't just go back to Scotia's room and leave the kid there right?

Jensen gets closer to look at it together and sometimes points and says a word, usually the names of the animals. They make their way through that book and two others before Charlie sees that Jensen isn't pointing or babbling anything more because he's basically asleep.

And now he panics again because what does one do now? He calls Jensen’s name a few times and pokes his cheek, making the boy frown, "Don't you want to sleep on your bed?"

And instead of getting up and walking back to his room, the boy raises his arms expecting Charlie to take him. He awkwardly takes Jensen back to his room and breathes relieved. F

Charlie goes to drink another cup of water and goes back to bed, close to Scotia.

SCOTIA: When Charlie comes back to bed Scotia is a sleepy bear who puts his arms around him and just tugs him close, just assuming he went to the bathroom or something. When they do get up for good Charlie will get to watch this little boy climb into his dad's arms like they are each other's worlds and that's so obvious in the way Jensen says dad and the way Scotia literally looks at his son while brushing back his hair. The way he talks to him and holds him.

Scotia literally chokes when he's talking to Jensen, trying to make introductions, "This is my b-" before aggressively clearing his throat.  "This is daddy's really good friend, okay?" Mostly because he doesn’t want to alarm Charlie, but. But the moment Jensen lays eyes on him, he shouts “Charlie!!" And Scotia is thrown off by his son knowing the name already.

CHARLIE: Charlie makes fun of Scotia for that one, "You can call me your boyfriend, you know. I think it's better than being daddy's good friend. I'd never want to be just friends with you." He leans to give Scotia a quick kiss.

When Jensen calls his name all excited, Charlie just nods like "Yep. That is... My name." He’s still getting used to this interaction with a child thing.

SCOTIA: Scotia gets all red in the face for being called out about that. Licks his lips after the little kiss he's given and tells his little son this is his boyfriend. And Jensen doesn't care because he's tiny but it means a lot to Scotia, his heart is racing.

Honestly, Scotia is just glad that Charlie didn't freak having to interact with Jensen in the morning. He doesn't question it too much. He'll put Jensen down at one point and Jensen brings that book from the coffee table to Charlie and Scotia chuckles and tells his son, "Maybe Charlie can read to you a different time, buddy. We've gotta have breakfast so Charlie doesn't run late for the day okay?" And Jensen just looks between the two of them like ...but

Scotia tries to talk a little more over breakfast but he treads lightly because he doesn't want to overwhelm Charlie first thing in the morning.

CHARLIE: Charlie pulls him by his waist and tells him quietly, "We're okay, right? I thought I could go to the bar tonight."

SCOTIA: Scotia easily moves to Charlie and holds him. He doesn't answer the question directly, rather touches his forehead to Charlie's and tells him, "I love that you're here right now. Right here, in my shitty apartment, with my decent kid. I love that. I..." He swallows as a lump of emotions seizes his throat for a moment. "I really wanted that for a while. I just didn't know how to ask for it. It'll be so much easier for you to see me now that you've been here- now that you're okay being here. I'd love to see you at the bar tonight."

CHARLIE: Charlie wants to ask why didn't he say something sooner but knows that it will lead to a whole different discussion that doesn't matter anymore. Scotia seems happy and that's what's important to Charlie. He gives Scotia a not so innocent kiss and takes a few steps back, "See you later, honey.”

He winks and apparates right there out of Scotia's house.

-FIN

[maria-scribbles]

glitter + crimson (let’s start a riot)//part four

summary: carmen actually steps foot inside her own house after discovering her daughter isn’t the only teenager living there. the hurricane hurtling toward the island matches the tempest in sailor’s heart as she finally gets some long-overdue words off her chest that her mom isn’t very happy to hear and two friends inch closer and closer to crossing that metaphorical line.

word count: 6.6k+ (oops, i did it again 😅)

ship: jj maybank x oc (sailor flynn)

warnings n stuff: mentions of abuse/neglect, gambling addiction, child abandonment, being kicked out of home, fluff, swearing, underage drinking, flirting, having shitty dads, mentions of weed, star wars, and sailor’s unhealthy addiction to nutella, mention and direct quote of the percy jackson and the olympians series (again), subtle nod to new girl (i love seeing how many references i can make lmao)

a/n: first off, i just want to thank each and every one of you for your likes, reblogs, and especially your wonderful comments! they mean to world to me, seriously ❤ now, here comes the dramaaaaa! we get to dive into sailor’s complicated, turbulent relationship with her mother (sailor, like john b, has a very big, very real fear of being abandoned by people she loves because of her dad) before heading toward the canon timeline of the show. the quote about the sea near the beginning is from jaques cousteau, legendary french naval officer, marine explorer and filmmaker who co-created the aqua-lung and paved the way for modern scuba diving. he also pioneered marine conservation and discovered the wreck of the hmhs britannic, sister ship of the rms titanic! so overall, he was a pretty cool dude and i feel that he’d be a personal hero to ocean-loving sailor (maybe even kiara as well, considering her love of the environment/conservation).

unbetaed as usual so all mistakes are my b.

gif credit to @toesure (who has the most beautiful gifs, ngl)

~Masterlist~

part four: high tide

The sun’s just peeking its rays over the horizon, painting the deep blue sky the softest shades of pink and orange. Calm, steady waves lap against the shore and over Sailor’s bare feet as she stands alone on an empty and desolate beach, the only signs of life coming from the seagulls squawking overhead. The air is thick and sticky with early morning humidity, the type that makes it hard to breathe and frizzes the hell out of her wavy hair, and she can already feel moisture starting to collect on her skin.

Why’s she here again? She can’t remember a reason and come to think of it, she can’t remember exactly how she got here, either. Did she drive? She turns her back to the ocean and its entrancing pull to look for her truck but finds the surf shop is the only thing she can see clearly, the world surrounding it blurred in an incomprehensible mess of color; the sight should’ve caused anxiety to take root in her chest but somehow she finds herself unbothered, relaxed. Somehow, she feels at home.

“The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.”

Sailor’s head snaps to the left at the sound of a painfully familiar voice. A tall, redheaded man now stands in what was only a few seconds ago an empty space, smiling out over the water with the brilliant colors of the sky reflecting in his green eyes.

“Dad?”

Ryan doesn’t seem to hear the incredulous tone in her voice or even the fact that she spoke at all as he turns to face her and asks a question of his own, “It’s true, don’t you think?”

Of course she does. The sea has had her under its captivating, magnetic spell ever since she first laid eyes on it when she was a toddler, a baby, even. Her parents always said she wanted to spend every waking moment at the beach, combing the sand for shells and staring out at the water, imagining what new discoveries were waiting for her in its depths. Her mouth moves on it’s own as she replies, “You know I do.”

It’s not what she wants to say at all. She wants so badly to yell at him, let out her frustrations and hurt and pain ‘how dare you leave us’ ‘what did I do wrong’ ‘why haven’t you come back yet’ but finds that she can’t form the words. It’s like she’s watching a video, or maybe reliving a memory -oh. It feels like a memory because it is one, she recognizes with a start, of the week before he took off and abandoned them for the very first time, leaving behind a gaping, bleeding wound that neither Sailor nor her mother ever managed to properly stitch back together.

Ryan’s smile widens. “Always got your eyes on the horizon, Starfish. Just like your old man.”

Her heart clenches at the old, familiar nickname that she hasn’t heard in years, like she’s looking at a favorite pair of childhood shoes or an old t-shirt from a family vacation long past and realizing she doesn’t fit in them anymore, that she’s moved on, and surprisingly, it doesn’t sting as much as she thought it would.

“Come on,” Her father says and when he reaches out to her, Sailor finds herself reaching back with a much smaller, eight-year old sized hand that’s swallowed by Ryan’s larger, calloused palm. “Think you can go fifteen feet today?”

“Fifteen? I’m gonna go twenty!” She declares confidently in her most grown-up voice, giggling when her dad beams and hoists her little body up into his arms, the stubble on his face tickling her skin as he plants a kiss on her cheek.

“That’s my girl.”

He runs into the surf, tossing a laughing Sailor into the ocean when it’s waist deep before they wade out, further and further until the sandy floor drops away from their feet and they’re left treading water.

“Ready, Starfish?”

“Ready!”

The sun breaks over the horizon and casts its golden light on the pair, turning their hair an identical shade of fiery red just as they dive below. She has to work harder to keep up with her father’s longer strokes but she does it and reaches the bottom the same time he does; he smiles widely and reaches out to quickly cup her cheek, pride shining clearly in his eyes and she beams back before turning away to scan the floor for any worthy shells. Finding a knobbed whelk a few feet away, she swims over to grab it before pushing off toward the surface, Ryan following close behind. The sun becomes brighter and brighter the closer she gets and just when her head breaks through the waves-

Sailor wakes.

The early morning sun shines across her eyes through the curtains as she stares up at the surfboard above her bed, the very shelf were the whelk from that day still sits, proudly displayed with her other finds. Yawning, she runs her hands over her face and blinks away the last threads of sleep still clinging to her lashes, along with the memory of her dream. Moments like that with her father were rare. Ryan was a blast to be around when he was happy doing something he wanted to do, like diving for shells, hitting up the bowling alley for a few games, or taking his old, beat up boat out into the marsh to fish for hours on end (never something mundane as doing the dishes or folding the laundry, no, those were children’s jobs and being an only kid, those responsibilities fell to Sailor.). Moments like that were when she felt that -naively, foolishly- her dad was actually proud of her, that he wasn’t horribly inconvenienced by her having the audacity to be his daughter, to be born, that maybe he loved her as much as she loved him.

Cold from a sudden shiver that runs through her body, she rolls onto her side to seek out the best human space heater she knows but her arm only finds empty sheets lacking warmth, her hand reaching for someone who’s no longer there. She frowns and sits up, fingers automatically running through her sleep mussed waves in a semi-futile attempt to fix them into something less resembling a bird’s nest. A quick check of the phone she doesn’t remember plugging in to charge reveals its just before 7 in the morning and her confusion over her missing bedmate only grows; JJ’s rarely ever conscious before 9 AM at the absolute earliest and almost never by his own volition unless surfing’s involved. Even Binx is gone from his usual spot at the end of the bed, leaving her truly alone in the tiny room.

On the floor alongside his boots, the backpack she never noticed him having yesterday is still where he dropped it with its zipper open wide, while his phone rests next to hers on the bedside table and Sailor feels an almost embarrassing wave of relief wash over her knowing he’s still here, that he didn’t just up and disappear in the middle of the night, that he stayed (of all the times he’s come to her before, only once did he leave before dawn and, after she’d frantically tracked him down at John B’s place, tears in her eyes and streaming down her face at the thought of him returning to the lion’s den that he called home, he held her close and promised to never do it again.). She pulls herself out of bed and crosses the room to pull on a random hoodie from the closet before pocketing her phone and padding into the hall, the wooden floor cool under her bare feet.

A demanding meow comes from the kitchen followed immediately by a vexed, “Binx, my dude. For the last time, you can’t have this.” JJ’s bright laugh echoes throughout the room when Binx meows again, this one more insistent than the last and the redhead smiles, quietly shuffling forward to lean against the wall. He doesn’t notice, instead holding a finger to his lips as he shushes the cat sitting on the counter beside him, then turns back to whatever he’s doing. “Be quiet, dumbass! You don’t wanna wake your mom up, do you?”

“I don’t know, sounds to me like he might need my help.”

He startles at her teasing voice, nearly dropping the butter knife in his hand as she steps forward and scoops Binx into her arms, pressing a kiss to his fuzzy cheek. “Is mean old J not feeding you, Binxy? That just won’t do!”

He rolls his eyes but the grin tugging the corners of his mouth upward betrays his amusement as he says sarcastically, “Yeah, I’m the bad guy for not giving the brat Nutella. Great.”

With a laugh, Sailor gives the cat another loving scratch behind the ears before gently setting him on the floor and hoisting herself onto the counter beside JJ, her legs swinging back and forth and lightly brushing against his side. “So...you’re up early.” She says, watching him scrape the last bit of Nutella out of the jar and smear it on some toast, another piece already made on the plate at his elbow.

“Yeah, I woke up and couldn’t go back to bed.” He shrugs, tossing the knife in the sink and the empty container into the trash; her stomach does a little flip when he brings his hand to his mouth and licks away the chocolate left behind on his thumb, then continues, “Sorry if I woke you up. I tried to be quiet but that shithead over there wouldn’t shut up.”

He nods his chin in the direction of a lounging Binx, stretched out on the back of the couch in the sun and she shakes her head. “Don’t worry, you didn’t. I-” She shrugs, too, and meets his blue-eyed gaze. “I guess I couldn’t sleep, either.”

“Bad dream?” JJ asks, holding the plate of toast out to her and she takes a piece with a grateful smile as she replies, “I’d call it more of a bittersweet memory.”

They both fall into a comfortable silence while they eat until he suddenly asks another question around a mouthful of breakfast, “About your dad?”

Sailor freezes mid-chew, her father’s green eyes flicking away from her best friend’s face toward the floor as she swallows thickly, her free hand anxiously clenching the fabric of her shorts. After a long, pregnant pause in which they finish their food and he puts the dirty plate in the sink, she finally says softly, “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

She apologizes again, staring down at the floor and swinging her legs back and forth, her bare feet hitting the cabinet with dull thuds.

“For what?” His brow furrows in confusion while he takes a step forward to stand between her legs, one hand reaching to hook a finger under her chin and lift her head so he can look her in the eye, the other resting on her knee. “Seriously, help me out here ‘cause I’m confused as fuck.”

“Because I feel guilty, okay?” She starts, eyelids briefly closing as she takes a deep breath before snapping open again and continuing before he can interrupt, “Here I am, getting upset over a stupid dream I had about my gambling addict dad that ditched me when your dad does that,” -she points to his bruised ribs- “and this,” -her palm rests on his cheek, thumb skimming over his scabbed lip- “and God, I just-”

“Whoa, hold up there, Sail.” JJ cuts her off, his free hand joining the other in cupping her face, “Just because your dad never hit you doesn’t mean you don’t have something to be pissed about. He abandoned you, stole your mom’s money, and made you feel like shit! You have a right to be mad as fuck about it.”

“But-”

“But nothing! We’re not having a fucking competition about who has the shittiest dad,” -He smirks devilishly, brushing a wayward red curl off her forehead- “because they both suck major dick. End of story.”

In spite of herself, Sailor snickers as she winds her arms around his neck and pulls him close, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder while his own arms slide around her waist. “We should start a club.” She jokes lightly and feels his snort of laughter against her ear in response.

“‘Shitty Dad Society,’” He declares proudly, “I call being president.”

“Well, I’m your VP! Binx’s our secretary- shit, I’ll be treasurer, too ‘cause I don’t trust you with any type of financial situation at all.”

He laughs again, hand tightening its grip on her waist and she smiles into his neck as he says, “That’s fair. We should make shirts.”

They settle into another comfortable silence after that, both more than happy to relax in the other’s arms and just be. It’s one of her favorite things about..whatever they are, the ease, the contentment, the familiarity felt when they’re together are sentiments she never, ever wants to lose and a thought, an exciting, dangerous thought pops into her head: what if he never has to leave?

“Come live with me.”

“...what?”

Oh, fuck, she just said that out loud, didn’t she? Brain, enter panic mode. The redhead abruptly pulls out of his embrace and buries her already blushing face into shaking hands, closing her eyes tight for good measure, stammering between her fingers, “Nothing, nothing! I said nothing!”

“Pretty sure you said something,” His hands encircle her wrists and gently pull them down to her lap. “And it wasn’t ‘nothing.’”

She stares down at their entwined fingers resting on her thighs, the backs of his hands deliriously warm against her exposed skin and grounding her to this (scary, exciting, vulnerable) moment, and blurts out in a rush, “I said, come live here. With me.”

JJ doesn’t speak, but the way his hands almost imperceptibly tighten their hold on hers -she would’ve missed it if she hadn’t already been looking- compels her to raise her head and meet his eyes; the indescribable depth of the ocean is behind his gaze, as well as the barest hint of pure, brazen hope, and it says everything his mouth won’t.

“Remember yesterday, when you said you don’t know how much more you can take?” She asks. At his tight nod, she weaves her fingers even more intricately with his and admits softly, “Well, I’m not sure how much more I can take, either.”

Sailor’s eyes sweep over the cuts on his face with all the gentleness of a lover, his lip first, followed by the one on his cheekbone before meeting his again. “I can’t...I can’t see you hurt like this anymore.”

Blue stares into green for an insurmountable stretch of time, long enough that she starts to think that she should’ve just kept her big mouth shut, until he finally whispers, “Seriously?”

“J, I’ve never been more serious about something in my entire life. I can’t let him do this to you anymore.” She finishes with a shrug, “My mom’s never here, anyway. It’d be, uh, really nice to not be alone all the time ‘cause as much as I love him, Binx doesn’t count.”

His eyes become stormy at that casual admission of loneliness for just a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment before brightening into their natural blue, the same color of the sky on a clear day as he says simply, “Okay.”

“Seriously?” It’s her turn to ask it now and the smile that breaks over her face when he nods is one of unabashed relief; without thinking, she leans closer and presses her forehead to his. “Good.”

He smiles, too, and briefly lets his eyes fall shut at the contact as he jokes, “Just so you know, Flynn, I’m probably not gonna be the best roommate.”

“Please,” She giggles, freeing one of her hands to playfully push at his shoulder, “I live with the most spoiled, demanding cat in the world. I think I can handle you, Maybank.”

The teasing smirk on his face makes her heart beat a little faster. “We’ll see about that.”

Sailor decides to pretend she didn’t hear his loaded comment (she’s not quite ready to open up that particular can of worms just yet), instead pulling her phone from her hoodie pocket to check the time. “Alright, here’s the deal: in one,” -she glances at the time again because holy shit does she have the short-term memory of a fucking chimp- “two hours, we’re going shopping and, hey, don’t give me that look!” She laughs at the pained expression that crosses his face, “If you’re gonna live here, get ready to put in the work.”

JJ offers her a lazy salute with his free hand and she rolls her eyes, trying her best to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as he says coyly (again, damn him!), “Yes, ma’am.”

“Until then, though,” The redhead continues, hopping off the counter to grab his hand and starts pulling him toward the hall to her room, “We have a book to read and you have some Greek to mispronounce.”

“Fuck, you’re bossy.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”

-

It goes like this: for nearly three weeks, life for the pair is pretty damn good. The summer days pass the same as they had been, either spent lazing around with the rest of the pogues or working their variety of jobs -Sailor at the ice cream parlor, along with her weekly shell dives and the beginner surf classes she teaches for The Sandbar, JJ at the country club and doing whatever odd jobs he can find around the island- as June slowly bleeds into July. They find themselves doing everything together: shopping, cooking dinner, sharing her tiny room, and it’s so painfully domestic, so natural and so right that it hurts to wrap her head around it.

If their friends notice, none of them comment on it, even though she sees the looks sent their way whenever they both hop out of Sailor’s truck together (most are curtesy of eagle-eyed Kiara, but Pope and even the ever oblivious John B raise their eyebrows a few times). At night they continue to read through the Percy Jackson series, taking turns reading aloud each evening and for a short, blissful time, they let go of the burdens weighing heavy on their shoulders. For a while, everything is close to perfect.

Typically, predictably, it doesn’t last and when shit finally hits the fan, it happens in epic fashion because nothing is ever easy when they’re involved.

It happens a few days after the Fourth of July. It’s late-afternoon, Hurricane Agatha brewing off the coast causing the clouds to streak faster through the sky and, with the rest of their friends working or otherwise occupied, the two teenagers decide to spend a day lounging at home, getting in a few more chapters of The Battle of the Labyrinth and drinking the beer left over from a night of partying at John B’s house.

“’Jumping out a window five hundred feet above ground is not usually my idea of fun,’“ Sailor reads as she relaxes on the couch, book in one hand and can of PBR in the other, the wind blowing in through the open window ruffling her hair, “‘Especially when I’m wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck.’“

“I’ll drink to that,” JJ says, briefly lifting his head from her lap to chug the rest of his beer before settling back down, feet propped up on the couch’s arm. They’re both a little buzzed, having lost count of how many drinks they’ve downed but she’s had enough to make her start giggling at his comment as she struggles to keep reading while Binx, fed up with the noise, jumps down from his spot behind her and slinks down the hall to find some peace and quiet.

“Damn you, stop it!” She laughs harder as he pulls a ridiculous face at her pronunciation of Daedalus, then shoots her an impish grin and she responds by ‘accidentally’ dropping the paperback on his face. Both are so caught up in hysterics that they don’t notice the sound of a car pulling into the driveway or a key unlocking the front door.

“Sailor!”

The girl freezes at her name, green eyes widening at the sharp tone of her mother’s voice. Slowly, she turns her head to look over her shoulder where she stands, arms crossed, and she’s so shocked Carmen’s actually looking her in the eye that nothing comes out of her open mouth but an oh so eloquent “huh?”

“What the hell is going on here?” The older woman demands, moving around the couch before either teenager can react, and her eyes narrow when she catches sight of JJ’s head on her daughter’s thigh and the empty beer cans on the end table. “Are you two drunk? Get up, now.”

He hastily does as she asks, eyes downcast to the floor and shaking hands clenched at his sides; ignoring her mother’s glare, Sailor deliberately reaches over and rests one palm on top of his as she says tightly, “Nice to see you home for once, I’m surprised you remembered where it is.”

It’s a low blow and she knows it but she can’t find it in her fuzzy, alcohol-numbed brain to care when Carmen reels back like she’s been slapped before she seems to compose herself, mouth pressing into a thin line. “Sailor Giselle, don’t you dare talk to your mother like that!”

The redhead feels something inside her snap and she glares up at the only parent she has left, all but spitting her next words, “Then start acting like my mother! This is the first time I’ve seen you here in four months!”

“I had to come home after Rachel told me you were shacking up with some boy! Do you have any idea-”

“Rachel?!” Sailor explodes at the mention of their obnoxiously invasive old biddy of a neighbor whose sole mission in life is knowing everyone’s business, “God, that hag just can’t keep her nose out of anything can she?”

Carmen crosses her arms once again and glowers at her daughter. “You know how hard it is for me to be in here, Sailor. I asked her to keep an eye on you for me and I’m glad I did.”

The teenager stares at her in disbelief before barking a loud, humorless laugh. “Let me get this straight: you asked our neighbor to spy on me so you didn’t have to come home...so you didn’t have to actually put in some effort?” Carmen opens her mouth to defend herself but before any words can come out, Sailor continues, throwing her free hand in the air, “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“This is my house!” Her mother thunders, not noticing the way the silent blond boy flinches at her yell and how her daughter tightens her grip on his hand. “This is my house and I can do whatever I damn well please, including having someone look out for you when I can’t.”

“When you won’t, you mean.” She scoffs, shaking her head in thinly-veiled disgust, “I’m doing just fine on my own, no thanks to you, Mom.”

“Does ‘doing just fine’ mean living alone with this kid?” Carmen spits and when she glances at JJ like he’s gum on the bottom of her shoe, Sailor’s finally had enough and takes a step toward the older woman with a furious glare.

“Will you just let that go? God! He’s my best friend and he needed somewhere to stay, that’s it!”

“I don’t care.” Turning to JJ, she demands coldly, “Go pack your shit and get out.”

“No.” Green eyes hardening into chips of emerald, the redhead grabs his other hand as he goes to leave the room and steps in front of him protectively. “He’s not going anywhere.”

Carmen pinches the bridge of her nose, her voice low as she threatens, “I swear to God, Sailor, either he leaves or I’ll make him leave.”

When she feels his whole body go rigid behind her, she knows her mom’s won this particular battle and before she can even turn to face him he’s disappeared down the hall to her room without a word. Sailor whirls to face her like the wind outside, red hair flying over her shoulder like a whip as she seethes, “How dare you.”

The older woman sighs like she’s the one hurting and crosses to the window before closing it with a firm hand. “Drop it, I’m done arguing.”

“I care about him, Mom, you can’t just kick him out!”

“I said drop it! I don’t give a shit how you feel about him, I’m not having your homeless boyfriend mooching-”

“Jesus Christ -his dad beats the shit out of him!”

The words ring out like a bell, loud and clear and impossible to ignore. Carmen freezes in the middle of picking up a discarded can, tan skin turning pale as she stares, mouth slightly agape, at her daughter; the girl stares back unflinching, and despite her heart’s rapid staccato in her chest, her next words cut like a knife.

“He’s not homeless, okay? But his dad hits him, all the damn time. You’re not gonna stand by and let that happen, are you?”

Her mother’s eyes soften -for a fleeting moment, she looks like her old, caring self again- before they harden to steel, the open expression on her face slamming closed with all the force of a screen door in a hurricane.

“I’m sorry -really, I am- but that’s not my problem.”

Sailor flinches at the icy edge in her voice and looks down at the floor, jaw clenched tight as she tries to blink away the sudden burning behind her eyes. “I...I don’t know you anymore. My mother would never say that.”

She hears Carmen heave another deep sigh as her footsteps slowly head toward the front entry, “You and I have a lot to talk about when I get back from work, Sailor.” She says, followed by the snatching of keys and the door handle turning. “And that boy had better be gone when I do.”

The redhead looks up from her feet, watching the door slam behind her mother’s retreating form before hastily making her way down the hall to her room and like that morning, the wave of relief that she feels when she sees JJ still sitting on her bed, realizing he’s still here, is downright embarrassing but she’s well past the point of caring. In a flash, Sailor’s in his arms, face pressed against his neck as she cries, “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”

“Sail, you’ve gotta stop apologizing for things you can’t control.” He whispers when she eventually falls silent and she can’t stop the rough laughter bubbling in her chest, even as her whole world feels like it’s falling apart around her.

“Sorry.”

His own laugh is short and low in her ear, and then he’s pulling her closer as his hand draws soothing circles on her back. She lets herself relax for a brief moment, eyelids fluttering closed at his touch, before she takes a deep breath and pulls back to look him in the eye, hands carelessly wiping away the tears on her cheeks, “Help me pack.”

“...what?”

“When she kicked you out, she kicked me out, too.” She says matter-of-factly at JJ’s confused look while she abruptly kneels, pulling her old suitcase from under the bed and heaving it up onto the mattress.

“Okay, so she didn’t actually kick me out but she might as well have!” The redhead strides to her closet and starts picking out her favorite clothes, tossing them haphazardly onto the bed as she fumes, “God, I even told her about your dad -I’m sorry, shit I did it again- and she said she didn’t care! Not to mention she had our neighbor spy-”

“Sail!” She’s so caught up in her rant that she doesn’t notice when JJ moves to stand beside her, and only when he puts his hands on her shoulders does she stop short, a Kildare County High School sweatshirt dangling from her fingers; she can feel him watching her and when she flicks her gaze up to meet his, she’s not at all prepared for the tempest of emotions -admiration, pride, empathy, something else she can’t name- all crashing like the surf behind his eyes.

Blue. Oh so blue. It’s been her favorite color ever since she knew what colors were and she thinks her favorite shade has to be the one she finds in his eyes: bright, clear, and ever easy to drown in if she’s not careful.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” He says it in such a casual way that it’s impossible to think it’s not as intentional as the fingers that slowly tuck a stray curl behind her ear and the thumb that brushes along her flushed cheek.

She just shakes her head with a tiny, bashful smile and her words are an echo of a quiet, rainy night all those weeks ago, “I’m just doing what feels right.”

They fall into an easy rhythm after that, one that helps them both sober up as they fill her suitcase to the brim with everything Sailor thinks she’ll need for a long stay, wherever she ends up. The Chateau makes the most sense of course, but with the DCS breathing down John B’s neck recently, she’s not sure how viable of an option that is but there’s one thing she knows for sure: there’s no way in hell she’s coming back here any time soon. It hurts to leave her shell collection behind -for a brief, dark moment she toys with the idea of tearing the shelf down and smashing them all until they’re turned to dust but she pushes that thought away- so she takes her favorite, the lightning whelk that reminds her of JJ and that day on the beach, and gently tucks it away in her backpack to ease the sting, as a promise to one day return for the rest.

“Jackpot!” JJ exclaims and she looks up to find him on the floor by her chair, pulling up the loose wood board that hides her secret stash of booze and money and reaching in to snag a nearly full bottle of Jack Daniels, holding it above his head with a triumphant smile.

“Shit, I forgot that was even in there,” She replies as she kneels beside him and snatches the whiskey from his hand before he can take a swig, slipping it into her backpack, “Not yet.”

“Oh, come on,” He laughs when she rolls her eyes at his pout and reaches into the dark space to pull out an old plastic lunchbox, along with a small flask that gets thrown in her bag without a second glance. “Boooo.”

“Patience,” She teases, opening the cracked lid to take all of the cash inside and stuffs it into the ziploc bag that doubles as a purse (“it’s cheap and waterproof, what more do I need?” was her argument when Kiara asked her why she didn’t have an actual handbag), which she then stuffs in her backpack. “We can get drunk after we get out of here.”

“You had me at ‘drunk,’“ He slides the floorboard back into place after Sailor tosses the empty lunchbox inside and then stands, pulling her up alongside him with his hand in hers, the other reaching out to grab the handle of her suitcase. “Ready when you are.”

The redhead takes one last look around her room, from the assortment of shells and pictures on one wall to her poster of Bethany Hamilton on the other and everything in between -her sanctuary for the longest time- before turning away from the familiar comfort of the old to face the enticing uncertainty of the new. “Let’s go.”

After a quick stop in the bathroom to grab her shampoo, conditioner, and toothbrush -no way in hell is she gonna share any of those with the boys- then the kitchen to grab some food for Binx and the cat himself from the back of the couch (surprisingly, he doesn’t put up much of a fight), they head outside and throw her suitcase and their backpacks in the bed of the truck along with her surfboard.

“John B’s probably gonna be pissed about the cat,” JJ says, leaning against the passenger door with his arms crossed, smirking as she gives him a flat look and unceremoniously dumps Binx onto the bench seat through the driver’s side window.

“Well, John B’s just gonna -stay, Binxy!- have to get used to it. I’m not leaving him behind.”

Across the street, Rachel perches on her porch as she watches the two teenagers with her beady little eyes and Sailor, feeling particularly defiant, grins wickedly. “J, watch this.” Waving to the woman to catch her attention she calls over the wind, “Hey, Rachel!” before slowly extending both middle fingers toward her, one at a time. “That one’s for my mom and this one’s for you, you nosy bitch!”

He instantly joins in and both hold their hands high, cackling with laughter, until the old crone scowls and slithers back into her house like the snake she is. “Good riddance,” the redhead says, opening the truck’s door and sliding behind the wheel, “Let’s blow this joint.”

“Joint?” JJ asks, climbing into the passenger seat and slamming the door behind him, Binx instantly curling up on his lap, “Did you say joint?”

“You and weed, I swear...” She laughs and goes to start the engine before she realizes she’s grasping at an empty ignition and lets her head fall against the steering wheel with a thunk, “Son of a bitch, I forgot my keys. I’ll be right back.”

Going back inside isn’t as hard as Sailor thought it would be, but leaving is a whole other ball game. She snatches her keys from the bathroom sink where she left them and heads back toward the front door; she’s just passing by their family portrait when it hits her: this is it, the last time in who knows how long she’ll be here. It’s now or never. She thinks of it as a weight on her shoulders, one that’s been dragging her down for far too long, like Atlas holding up the sky, but unlike him, she’s going to break the chains and set herself free.

In one final, sudden burst of years of anger and hurt and frustration, she rips the picture from the hook and smashes it to the floor, sending pieces of glass and wood skittering down the hall before striding from the house and all its memories without a backwards glance, slamming the door behind her with a resolute bang.

-

Surprisingly, John B doesn’t give a shit about the cat when they show up at the Chateau but he does give a shit about Sailor and her well-being after they give him a quick rundown of the afternoon’s happenings.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Sail?” He asks as he and JJ carry her bags into the house and deposit them in the spare room, the redhead trailing behind with Binx in her arms.

“That’s the age old question, bro,” She deflects with a shrug, taking a seat on the bed and setting the cat down beside her; he instantly takes off to explore his new home as she continues, “Who actually knows if they’re okay? What’s okay to one person can be completely different to another-”

“Sailor, seriously.”

She glances back and forth between the two boys -two sweet, caring boys- watching her with twin looks of understanding and relents. “Look, I’m still kind of...processing everything, alright? I’m not exactly sure what I’m feeling and I don’t know how long it’s gonna take for me to find out but I promise you,” She says softly, looking them both in the eye, “I’ll let you know if I’m not okay. Deal?”

JJ shoots her an enthusiastic thumbs up while John B opts for a simple nod and she grins before pulling the bottle of Jack Daniels from her backpack with a flourish. “Good. Now, I think we could all use a drink.”

The trio (and Binx, house thoroughly explored) bums around the living room while the afternoon slowly turns to evening, the wind outside getting worse with each passing hour the storm moves closer, passing the bottle back and forth until none of them are anywhere close to sober. What started as a game of truth or dare quickly dissolves into straight up truth as they get remarkably philosophical about what animal they’d want to be (an eagle for John B, a wolf for JJ, and to absolutely no one’s surprise, a dolphin for Sailor) and then have a deep, animated discussion about the best Star Wars movie and why it’s The Empire Strikes Back. Later, when the whiskey’s down to a few sips left and their collective demons have retreated to the very back of their minds, JJ drunkenly suggests playing strip poker and both Sailor and John B have to remind him that none of them a.) know how to play poker or b.) even own a deck of cards.

“Damn it!” The sly grin falls from his face when he realizes they’re right and he dejectedly sinks back into the couch, head coming to rest on the redhead’s shoulder. “I wanna see you take your clothes off, Flynn.”

She laughs loudly and grabs the bottle from his hand before taking a big sip and passing it to John B. “You’re gonna have to try harder than that, Maybank.” Whiskey, she found out few months ago, hits her hard: her filter? Gone. Blushing? Aside from the flush in her cheeks from the alcohol, gone. Self-consciousness? As long gone as her father. She’ll flirt her heart out without giving a single shit and it’s both a blessing and a curse, as well as an endless source of secondhand embarrassment in the morning.

“That’s okay, you know I like a challenge.” He declares with a wink, cracking up when she plants her hand directly on his face and pushes him off her shoulder as John B snorts and downs the last of the liquor without either of them noticing.

“Jesus, get a room,” He uses the empty bottle to point down the hall, then sets it on the side table with a hollow thunk as he leans back and stretches his arms above his head. “There’s one right there.”

Sailor gives him a swift kick in the shin with her bare foot for that, plus the shit-eating grin on his face. The trio lounges around for a little while longer, relaxing in a whiskey-induced haze; the redhead finds herself nodding off every so often, slipping back further and further until her head finds a place to rest on JJ’s lap and her legs end up on John B’s. The feel of fingers running through her hair is so feather light that she can barely keep her eyes open and before she knows it, she’s down for the count.

When she wakes some indefinite amount of time later the room is dark, the only light coming from the moon shining through the windows and John B’s gone from his spot by her feet, Binx curled up in a ball on the cushion instead. JJ’s dead asleep, hand stalled in her curls and the sight of his head tipped back against the couch with his mouth slightly open is so damn endearing that she can’t help but smile, even as she reaches a hand up to gently shake his shoulder.

“J, wake up.”

“Five more minutes.” He groans, free hand sluggishly pushing her arm away. Sailor sits up and swivels to face him before shaking him again, giggling quietly at the way his head lolls from side to side.

“Come on, the bed’s way comfier than this.”

Sleepy blue eyes open to give her a heavy look that screams both gratification and longing and so much hope as he quips, “You just want me in your bed again, don’t you?”

She reverently rolls her eyes but reaches to grab his hands anyway and pulls him to his feet, both swaying in place before they find their balance. “And if I do?”

The corner of his mouth rises in a small, adorable smile as his fingers entwine with hers. “I’d say that’s right where I want to be.”

“Well, you’re in luck ‘cause that’s where I want you to be, too.” Still a little bit tipsy, her words are honest, sincere, and as she leads him down the hall, she realizes that old saying is true: drunk words are sober thoughts. After three weeks sharing a home, a room, a bed, she just doesn’t think she can sleep without him anymore and that belief doesn’t quite scare her as much as she thought it would.

Lying wrapped up in his arms in the dark, Sailor finds herself dreaming of a future -as much of a future an impoverished, quasi-homeless, not-quite alright, not-quite-seventeen year old can dream of- with the damaged boy that holds oceans in his eyes.

-

A few miles away, Carmen Flynn sits on her daughter’s bed with a broken picture frame in her hands as she cries, all alone in an empty house with no idea how to make things okay again.

-

let me know what you think! also, fun fact: sailor compares her short-term memory to a chimp because studies have shown that chimpanzees are the absolute worst at remembering things, not goldfish as we previously thought (they can remember things for at least five months, compared to chimps who, despite their similarities to humans, forget things in about twenty seconds). sailor, being a zoology nerd, would definitely find that fascinating and make it her mission to educate the masses that goldfish aren’t that stupid jj finds it both adorable and kind of hot

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