#soft mamagon and hyde as requested :)

[yourdeepestfathoms]

No Use Crying Over Spilled- MOO!

In which Aragon cowsits her daughter-figure’s pet calf

——————

Aragon’s mouth settles into a frown as she felt her not-daughter’s burning forehead. The poor girl was still on fire with a fever. She placed a cool, wet flannel back onto her aching head and was about to go start making some soup when there was a mumble from below her.

“Elizabeth?”

“Mmmm... Catalina....”

Aragon perches back onto the side of the bed, taking one of Bessie’s hands in her own and squeezing comfortingly. For a moment, she thought she just imagined the voice, but then Bessie pried open her hot, heavy eyelids and looked up at her.

“Hello, sleepyhead,” Aragon cooed, smiling softly and gently brushing the girl’s flushed, clammy cheek with a finger.

“Catalina...” Bessie mumbled, struggling to keep her eyes open.

“Yes, it’s me, honey. It’s just me.” Aragon said.

“Wh-what...” Bessie’s voice broke off into unintelligible mumbling.

“You’re sick, Elizabeth,” Aragon told her, “You’re running a fever. Do you remember?”

Bessie stares dazedly up at her, blinking blearily. Then, she’s trying to push herself up on her weak, heavy-as-lead arms.

“Woah, hey, what are you doing?” Aragon grabbed her forearms to steady her when she started to sway.

“H-Hyde...” Bessie stammered. She’s starting to shiver- the chills must be back. “I-I gotta...she...” Her words morph into a soft whine, but she didn’t have the energy or awareness to be embarrassed about it.

“Shh, shh,” Aragon eases her back down onto the bed. “I’ll take care of her, alright? I’ll babysit Hyde.”

“Cowsit,” Bessie giggled- her fever was making her delirious.

Aragon chuckled. “Yes. I’ll cowsit Hyde while you rest.”

Bessie, now looking at Aragon through glassy, half open eyes, nodded weakly. She coughs for a moment, worrying the queen, but settles quickly to speak again.

“H-her bottle...you have to...”

“Elizabeth, darling, I have nursed a baby before. A calf can’t be any different.” Aragon said.

“Please don’t breastfeed my cow...” Bessie groaned, barely awake at this point.

Aragon laughs and gently swats her arm. The action doesn’t even rouse the bassist from her daze.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” She said.

“She’ll bite your nipple off...”

“I wish I was recording you.”

Finally, Bessie slips off into complete unconsciousness. After a loving shake of her head and a soft kiss pressed to the bassist’s sweaty hairline, Aragon steps quietly out of the room.

There, in the hallway, her new challenge awaits her.

Hyde is laying down right beside the door after she was exiled from the bedroom (Aragon believed the calf would make Bessie even sicker- having to explain that to the both of them was disastrous). When Aragon comes out, she scrambled to her hooves, almost slipping on the hardwood because she shot up so fast. A soft, hopeful moo emits from her little snout.

“Hush, beast.” Aragon said, not missing the way she was talking to this heifer like she was a dragon. “Elizabeth is resting. I’ll be taking care of you.”

Hyde stared up at her with big amber eyes. Then, she tries to shove her way to the door, but Aragon pushes her back.

“No,” She scolded. “Come on. Downstairs.”

She walked to the staircase and Hyde reluctantly followed. However, upon reaching the bottom step, Aragon found that the calf was still at the top, pacing back and forth and mooing in distress.

“What?”

Hyde moos.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to walk down the stairs.”

Hyde moos louder.

Sighing, Aragon hikes back up the staircase, lifts the mass of orange fur, and carried her down. She swore the thing was made up of 99% hair (the other 1% would go to what Anne would call “Absolute Baby Energy”) because she could barely see over the calf’s body. And when she sat her down, dozens of orange strands cling to her shirt.

“Thank you for that.” Aragon grumbled, trying to get the hair off, but it was fruitless.

Hyde mooed and then trotted gleefully into the kitchen. Aragon follows her to go get the soup ready, only to find that the ingredients she needed weren’t there.

“Well-” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. She could go run by the nearest grocery store to pick up the necessary items, but what would she do about Hyde? “Alright, beast.”

Hyde looks up from where she was sniffing around on the floor.

“Don’t cause a ruckus while I’m gone. I won’t be long.”

As she’s walking towards the front door, Aragon gets the back of her legs rammed into with so much force that she nearly collapses when her knees buckled. She whirled around to find Hyde mooing excitedly, bouncing on her hooves and seemingly wagging her tail like an eager dog would.

“What did you-?! What was that for?!” Aragon barked.

Hyde just moos again and scrambled for the half open door. She gets her snout our before Aragon pushes her back in.

“No! You’re not-”

It was then that Aragon noticed the halter hanging up on the key rack beside the door. She stared at it with her mouth hanging open.

“Oh, Elizabeth does not.”

Hyde snatched the halter off of its hook with her teeth and stared up at Aragon with big, sparkling eyes.

“Oh, Elizabeth does too.” Her gaze seemed to say.

That was how Catherine of Aragon, the first wife of King Henry the VIII, the powerful queen of England, ended up walking a cow on the sidewalks of London.

Or, rather, the cow walked her.

Hyde was bounding eagerly down the street, practically dragging Aragon along behind her. The rope her halter was made of cut uncomfortably into the queen’s hands, rubbing the skin raw with each tug of her movements.

Now Aragon understood why there were blisters in the inside of Bessie’s fingers.

“Slow down! Hyde!” Aragon hissed. She pulled on the halter and, finally, the calf stopped. “My lord...” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with the hand she wasn’t using to wrangle up the heifer. “You need to calm down, young lady. You don’t even know where we’re going!”

Hyde blinks up at her.

It is then that Aragon realizes that she was talking to a cow on the street.

“Let’s go.”

Aragon continued walking and, this time, Hyde actually kept her pace. She eased up a little now that she wasn’t being dragged around like a sack of potatoes and actually kind of enjoyed the little stroll.

However, upon reaching the nearest store, a small bolt of anxiety shot through her. She glanced at the storefront, then at Hyde, then at a nearby lamppost. She was able to take the risk and tie Hyde up when a worker from the store stepped out and called over to her.

“Hey, ma’am!” She said, “Come in!”

Confused, Aragon walked inside, slightly being yanked by Hyde. The calf seemed eager to see the worker.

“Hi, Hy,” The worker, whose name tag read ‘Kit’, cooed. She pets the cow’s head. “Do you want a strawberry?”

Hyde moos happily.

“Do you...know her?” Aragon asked.

“Hyde? Of course! Bessie comes here all the time to get groceries. Everyone here loves her!” Kit said. She looked around. “Where is Bessie?”

“Home,” Aragon answered, “She’s sick.”

“Ah.” Kit nodded.

After a few more minutes of talking, Aragon branched off to the aisles and began grabbing the ingredients she needed for the soup. As she was doing so, she could hear Hyde’s happy little moos from the front counter.

She hadn’t realized that the calf had fans. She actually found herself laughing at that strange revelation, but was happy that Bessie wasn’t seen as a complete nut job when she was out with her pet.

Once she had grabbed everything she needed, Aragon went to pay and found that a small crowd of workers had accumulated around the calf, petting and doting on her. She looked like she was in heaven.

“I see she has a fan club,” Aragon chuckled.

“Louis would be the president, then,” Kit said, pointing to a young man ruffling Hyde’s bangs. “Duckie...probably vice president.” She nods at the worker scratching behind the calf’s ear.

Aragon smiles and paid. The workers hesitantly dispersed after a flurry of goodbye’s are said to the pair (mainly to Hyde, though).

“You got more attention than I usually do when I go out,” Aragon laughed as they began their walk home. Hyde peers up at her with her big, baby eyes. “I didn’t even get asked for a single picture!”

Hyde moos, and Aragon swore it had a cocky hum to it.

“I am not jealous of you, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Aragon said, “Don’t flatter yourself, beast...and I’m talking to a cow again.”

Soon, they arrived back at the lady in waiting house and Aragon puts the halter on its hook before going to the kitchen. She gets fifteen minutes into cooking when Hyde starts to pull on her shirt.

“What? I’m busy, beast.”

Hyde moos.

“I don’t speak cow.”

Hyde snorts and Aragon wrinkled her nose, reaching down to wipe the residue off of her leg. She watched the calf pad over to the fridge and paw it with her hoof. She makes a tiny noise.

“Oh. You’re hungry.”

Seemingly understanding, Hyde moos loudly.

“Okay, okay. Quiet down.” Aragon opened the fridge and grabbed the milk that was used to feed Hyde. She wasn’t sure how long she was supposed to keep it in the microwave, so she had to wing it and hope it wouldn’t burn the calf’s tongue off. By the time the bottle was filled, she was practically being pounced on.

“Calm down!” The queen snapped. She walked over to the couch and sat down, which Hyde must have saw as permission to sling her front legs into her lap and nibble for the bottle. “Hey!”

Pushing did nothing to help- the calf just kept clambering back up. Aragon sighed and finally relented. She lowered the bottle and Hyde was attached to the nipple in an instant, suckling greedily. Aragon watched her eat in amusement.

“You’re a hungry little beast, aren’t you?”

Hyde moos in between sucks.

Aragon chuckles. She watches Hyde for a few more moments, then makes the mistake of taking one hand off of the bottle to pet the calf’s head.

Time seemed to slow down as Hyde yanked the nipple right off of the bottle and spill milk everywhere.

Well, Bessie hadn’t been completely wrong about her fever-fueled statement.

“Hyde!!” Aragon shrieked, leaping up to her feet. Her lap was drenched in milk, as well as parts of the couch and a majority of Hyde’s face. And, unlike her, the calf didn’t seem bothered at all. She was just harmlessly trying to lick the wet parts of her snout. “What have you done?!”

Finally, Hyde looked up at Aragon.

And then she went straight for the queen’s legs with the full intent to suck the milk out of her soaked pants.

“NO-!!”

Aragon swats at the calf until she backs off with a grumpy moo. She swore Hyde even glared at her.

“You are a mess.”

Hyde bobbed her head at Aragon, as if to say, “It takes one to know one!”

Aragon rubbed her forehead with a heavy sigh before checking on the soup and retrieving a rag. When she was walking back to Hyde, the calf moved her hind legs back.

“Don’t you dare run.”

The queen seemed to forget that, like how she couldn’t speak cow, Hyde wasn’t quite fluent in human.

The calf charges right through Aragon’s legs and beelines for the dining room table.

Cow with bangs vs. Queen of England: Who will win? Next up on ESPN! Is what Aragon’s brain helpfully chimed as she chased the cow around the ground floor. It was very queenly to say the least, but she actually found herself laughing as she continually got her ass beat by a cow in a game of cat and mouse. And the moment she was about to win, the match was halted by frantic footsteps from upstairs.

Hyde and Aragon exchange looks for a moment before Aragon is hurrying upstairs.

Bessie isn’t in her room, but she is in the bathroom, coughing into the toilet. Aragon watches her from the doorway for a moment before going to her side, pulling her hair out of the way.

“Oh, honey,” Aragon murmured. “Not feeling any better, huh?”

Bessie shook her head miserably before vomiting again. She stops after a moment, setting her head against the cool porcelain of the toilet seat.

“I-I-...” Her words broke off into an anguished moan.

“Shh,” Aragon hushed her. She began rubbing circles against the bassist’s back.

“C-could you go down a little?” Bessie stuttered shyly.

Aragon moved her hand down to Bessie’s lower waist. “Here?”

Bessie nodded against the toilet seat.

“Does your back hurt?”

Another nod, this time more ashamed.

“Oh, baby girl... I’m sorry.” Aragon murmured. She began to rub her back again.

Bessie doesn’t say anything for a few moments, just trying to collect her bearings after throwing up. When she does eventually raise her head, her eyes are dull, scratched pieces of sapphire in her skull and her cheeks are flushed an angry red.

“...Is that milk on your pants?”

Aragon glanced down at the wet stain on her lap.

“Shh, you’re delirious, my darling,” She cooed, using the rag (which was clean because she hadn’t managed to catch Hyde) she was still holding to wipe the sweat from Bessie’s pale face.

“Yes, I am...but that is definitely milk.”

“No it’s not.”

Bessie giggled softly at Aragon hesitance to admit the truth and managed a weak smile.

“If you say so.”

Just then, she’s hit with another horrid heat flash and screwed her eyes shut, willing the overwhelming warmth to go away. Aragon wraps an arm around her.

“Let’s get you back in bed,” She said. “Can you stand?”

Bessie nodded weakly and, with Aragon’s help, managed to get back to her bed...

...which was being occupied by a milk-covered cow.

“Good lord,” Aragon muttered, making Bessie laugh softly.

“You didn’t hold the bottle with two hands, did you?”

“I didn’t know she would make a mess!”

“I thought it was easy as nursing a baby?”

“Well, my nipple isn’t as easily detachable as that bottle’s nipple!”

More laughter bubbles up from Bessie and, quickly, Aragon is laughing with her.

“Alright, alright, enough nipple talk-” Bessie snorts and Aragon gave her a playfully stern glare. “Into bed with you.”

Bessie obeys and gets back under her blankest, sighing softly at not having to be on the feet anymore. Aragon’s cool hand comes down to rest against her forehead, stroking her sweaty bangs soothingly.

“Thank you,” Bessie whispered as she began to slip off again. “I love you...”

Aragon’s heart absolutely melted.

“I love you too, my darling girl.” She cooed.

She looks up and sees Hyde staring at her through her milk-soaked bangs.

“I tolerate you.”