#sobbing. crying. gonna go look in the cupboards again

[virtual-bunny]

Period Cramps and Comfort

pairing: tsukishima x fem!reader

summary: you got your period, making you miserable, so you your boyfriend, kei, try’s to make you feel as comfortable as possible

warnings: blood, nakedness but nothing nsfw NOT PROOF READ

a/n: this took me way too long, also i tried to make the text a different color, like gradient or a different type of yellow but tumblr doesn’t have that option, but it’s too much work for me to go on a coding website and i’m lazy and now i’m sad LMAO

“Have you taken any pain medicine?”

“No I don’t know where they are and I don’t wanna look for them because if I move my cramps are gonna start to hurt even though I can feel them right now but I don’t wanna get hurt.” You cry out.

Tsukishima tries his best not to roll his eyes, moving your hair out of your face, you open your eyes to look at him, squished face and slightly opened duck lips staring up at him as he kept moving your hair out of the way.

“Where are they?” He finally says and you sigh in relief.

“On the top cupboard above the counter with the spoons and forks.”

Tsukishima nods, sitting up from the side of your bed and goes to look for the small bottle, going through all the “just incase” medication you had, but he didn’t find the bottle anywhere.

“Are you sure we have any?” He asks as he walks back to your bedroom, making you open your eyes again to follow his figure walking towards you.

“Yeah?!” You cry out, ready to let out a full sob.

Tsukishima sighs, shaking his head. “Didn’t find them.”

The tears start to roll down your cheeks now. To any person it would look like you were crying out for someone’s death, but really you were just in menstrual pain.

Tsukishima looks at you for a moment before speaking.

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to the store-“

“NOOOOOOOO!” You cry again, extending your arm to barely grab on to your boyfriend’s shirt. Tsukishima’s taken aback, looking at you with widened eyes.

“Don’t leave meeeeee!” You cry again, letting go of his shirt to wipe your tears. Tsukishima tries his best to not make a snarky comment at you, so instead, he bends down to your level, now face to face with your puffy face and caresses your cheek.

“I promise I’ll be quick babe.” He whispered, caressing your cheeck and giving you a kiss on the lips. You nod, sniffing as he stood back up and left your room.

Tsukishima went to the nearest convenience store. He found everything he thought of getting for you, thankfully, because he knew if he was gone for more than an hour, you’d probably get more upset than you already were. Grabbing two bottles of tylenol, some snacks, pads, and a small bouquet of flowers, tsukishima left the store and put evething in his trunk.

After about twenty minutes, he came back home, calling out for you.

“Y/n?”

“Eeeehhhhh?”

He set everything in the counter, only grabbing the bottle of tylenol and a glass of water to bring to you.

As he entered your room, he was suprised to see you had changed positions. Your back was now against the bed frame, but your hair was messier than he had remembered.

“Here.” He set the pill on your tongue, tipping the glass of water on your lips. You drank the water and pill with ease, letting out a sigh as you finished swallowing.

“Let’s go shower.” He mumbles, pulling the blanket from your lap. You shake your head, resisting his gripping hand on yours as he gently tries to pull you out of bed.

“Kei it’s gonna be nasty.” You whine but he doesn’t listen, finally getting you up and taking you to the bathroom.

You slowly take off your shirt, whinceing at the movements that made your cramps act up. Tsukishima looks over his shoulder, he’s bending down touching the bath water for the temperature, his glasses slowly falling off his nose bridge.

You kept whining, you felt warm and nasty, it overwhelmed you. Tearless cries came from you, looking at Tsukishima for help. Kei clicks his tongue, standing straight to help you walk closer to the tub.

“It’s okay, you’ll feel better right now.”

Tapping your arm, he grabs the hem of your shirt and you put your arms up, letting Tsukishima take off your shirt. He moves out of your way slightly as you unclip your bra and step into the shower.

As you let the warm water hit your body, Tsukishima took off his clothes as well, setting his glasses near the sink.

“I have blood crust.” You inform your boyfriend who just stepped in the shower, his chest in front of your face. He only hums in return.

For a few minutes it’s silent as Kei massages your shoulders, the warm water helping the tension lessen, and although you were enjoying the massage, you couldn’t help but have the urge to hug him.

You turn around, facing him again. Tsukki looks down at you, his stupid smirk on his face taunting you.

“What?”

“You do have blood crust.”

You stomp your foot and whine, trying to throw water at him but it is no use. Tsukishima laughs, reaching over your shoulder to turn off the shower and start the bath, so you took this as a chance to wrap your arms around him, the pout on your lips turning into a smile.

As the tub started to fill up, Tsukishima got out, wrapping a towel around his waist.

“Stay here,” his tall frame crouches under the bathroom door frame, leaving you behind.

As you wait for your boyfriend, you took this as an opportunity to clean yourself as fast as you could, opening the cap of the bathtub so the now “colored” water drains. You know Tsukki would get pissed off if you’d do this, since it was more convenient if you had just told him that you wanted to get a bit clean first.

Closing the drain again and turning on the water one more time, you stood there, arms hugging your bare body, looking like a wet puppy in the foggy room.

“KEI!” You call out, starting to miss your boyfriend. As if on time, the lanky man appears, a tray of food, bottled juice, your favorite snacks, your favorite scented soap, and a small bouquet of flowers on his hands. You gasp in surprise, a smile spreading all over your face as you move out the way so he can set the things down.

But as you stood there, a sharp pain up your ass hit you, making you flinch and clench your butt. This startled your boyfriend, dropping the things in his hands to the floor with widened eyes as he put his hands on your arms to check what was wrong with you.

“Ow ow ow ow ow ow,” you hiss, eyes closed shut as the excruciating pain continued.

“What happened?” Tsukishima asks, not knowing what to do, his eyes frantically look all over you.

“Butt cramp.” You reply in a pained voice, a small tear going down your cheek from the pain.

“Can you sit down?” Setting the tray in the bathtub and messily setting the things on it, Kei took off his towel and stepped inside the bath, grabbing the scented soap and squirting the liquid around the clear water.

You didn’t respond, the pain was still lingering, your head felt dizzy and your mouth was dry, whatever Tsukishima had said went over your head. He noticed this and gently set the soap down and turned to look again at you.

“Hey,” he said softly placing his hands on your hips and rubbing little circles. You shake your head to focus, droopy eyes looking at him

“Mhm.” You nod your head, the question he had asked you finally settingling in your brain. You step in the tub, turning around so your back is facing his chest, sitting down on the warm water.

The two of you watched some video on his phone on youtube, quietly eating your food and drinking juice.

Every now and then you’d wince at your cramps acting up, but Tsukishima would be quick to massages your tummy and back whenever it started to hurt.

Kei moved behind you, reaching over you to grab the shampoo you two shared.

“Don’t get it in my eyes,” you say through your chewing food, eyes never leaving the video. Tsukki rolls his eyes, squirting a good amount of shampoo into your damp hair and massaging your scalp.

You moan, eyes rolling at the back of your head as you swallow your food.

“That feels good,” you sigh. Tsukki chuckles, the tip of his fingers rubbing against your scalp. He stops, reaching over you to grab some of the snacks he had bought.

You lean your head back for a moment, looking up at your boyfriend who, as he’s chewing his food, looks down at you and smirks.

After your bath, Tsukishima made sure to bring the unfinished food to your bed, settling the small tray table in your spot as you went to change to a warm tshirt of his and some baggy sweatpants.

As you walk over to your shared bed, you put your hand inside your underwear, adjusting your pad. Kei chuckles, shaking his head as he sets a towel on the side of your bed and pats the spot for your to sit in.

You plop yourself on the bed, waiting for Kei to cover you with the blankets, and as he did, you steal a kiss from him, making him kiss you back quickly.

Walking to the the other side of the bed, Tsukishima laid down and covered himself with the blankets, you instantly snuggling up to him, grabbing his arm so you could wrap it around your body.

As the evening went on, you and Tsukki enjoyed the rest of the evening cuddling in bed while you complained every now and then about your pain, mood swings taking over you, and although all Kei wanted to do was to cover your face with a pillow, he took it easy with you, comforting you and letting you chew his ear off, cry on him and kissing him all over his face whenever your mood changed.

And since you need to be on weird positions in order for your cramps not to hurt, you fell asleep with your mouth open, hair all over you and Tsukishima’s face as you laid ontop of him, your drool getting on his shirt.

Tsukishima reached for the tv remote as slowly as he could in order to not wake you up. Turning off the tv, your guys room went dark. Kei closed his eyes, sighing. You shifted on him for a second, making his eyes widen as he looked up at the ceiling, his body stiffened.

Once he heard you snoring again, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he wiped off your drool from your lip, moving the hair out of your face, and gave you a kiss on the cheek, turning his head around as he drifted to sleep.

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

This isn’t necessarily a request (not that I would turn it down) but a serious question

Is there such a thing as…Cecil angst?

What would that even look like

Oh my goooosh! What a question! 👀👀👀

I did a little bit of angst in the main story of One For The Road. But I think we can do better.

Over

Cecil Dennis x gn!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • buy me a coffee? •

Summary: It's all over.

Warnings: Swearing, crying, Cecil hits his head, mention of drug use, angst (silly) and fluff, not beta read, please let me know if I've missed a warning.

Word Count: 767

Cecil runs his hands through his hair, his chest tightening. 

This couldn’t be happening. Couldn’t be.

It couldn’t end like this. 

He pulls on his roots, trying to override his thoughts with the sharp pain. 

Tears built in the corners of his eyes, burned his throat. He swallows them down, refusing to give in. 

He could fix this. He could do… something, anything. He could…

There was nothing he could do. He’d fucked up. Royally. 

There was no coming back from this. 

Cecil stands, starts to pace back and forth and then stops. So overcome with a tidal wave of emotion, thoughts spiralling into a paralysing nothingness. His hands are shaking uncontrollably. His skin hot. 

You were going to…

No, he couldn’t think about that. 

He wouldn’t.

If you didn’t know, didn’t find out. Then everything would be fine. Fine. Like it always was. Like it should be. You’d still love him. 

You would. 

He races to the kitchen, frantically pulling out a large mixing bowl and haphazardly opening the cupboards, his eyes wide and panicked. Where the fuck did you keep the flour? 

He needed scales, right? A recipe? He bends down to a lower cupboard, ah ha! And finds the scales. For a second, he holds it aloft in triumph. 

Everything was going to be okay and-

He stands, forgetting that he’d left the top cupboard agape, and smacks the top of his head right on the sharp corner. 

It hurts. The sensation takes a moment for him to feel it in its full effect. 

“Ow…” His already budding tears grow as the pain starts to bloom. He sniffs, screwing up his face and swallowing. He didn’t have time for this. Didn’t have fucking time.

He can’t stop it though, they slip down his cheeks as he holds his head, his shoulders shaking and-

“Cec?” 

Your voice makes him jump and turn, nearly hitting his head again in the process.

“Sweetheart,” you walk to him quickly, touching his cheek. “You hit your head?” 

He sobs and as he nods. 

He didn’t deserve your kindness, your sweet words. You were going to hate him the second you found out. 

“Aww,” you rub his biceps softly and pull him into a soft hug. “It’s okay, here.” 

He grabs onto you like this was the last time. 

“Shhh,” you kiss his cheek. “Let me get you a tissue first and then I’ll have a look at your war wound.” 

He shakes his head rapidly, sobbing harder.

“Baby,” you pat his back, and then glance at the bowl and scales. “What were you making?” 

He practically bawls. And worry spikes along your skin. You’ve never seen him so upset.

“Cecil,” you disentangle yourself, stepping back so you can look him in his eyes. “What’s going on?” 

“I ate it!” He sobs. 

You stare blankly at him. Having no idea what the fuck he’s talking about. 

“I ate it!” He repeats, fresh tears and sob racking through his body.

“Hey, hey, ate what?” 

“The last of the cookies you made,” he gulps in air between words. “I, I, I was gonna leave some for you and I foorgottt!”

“Oh, Cec,” you smile reassuringly, but he can’t see you through the tears.

“And now you’re gonna hate me and throw me out, and I was trying to make you so more before you realised and-”

“Cec,” you speak softly but firmly, and he snaps his mouth shut. “How high are you, sweetheart?” 

He swallows, pausing. He’s still breathing rapidly, but his crying slows a little as he thinks. “I took some gummies.” 

“How many?” 

“Four.” 

“Okay,” you chuckle. “Very high then.” 

He gives you a weak smile, looking like he’s about to break into his hysterical crying again at any moment. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Cecil,” You hold his wet cheeks and kiss him tenderly. 

The sweetness runs along his veins like syrup.

“I made those cookies for you.” You say as you step back.

There’s a long pause. “Oh…”

You smile.

“Wait, I… I remember now.” 

You kiss his nose and then guide him to sit in a dining table chair so you can inspect the top of his head. The skin isn’t broken, but you get him an ice pack from the freezer, wrap it in a towel and then instruct him to hold it to his scalp anyway. 

“I still should have left you some.” He swallows and thanks you when you pass him a tissue. 

You snort and give his hand a squeeze. “Do you want to make some more together?”

He nods a little bashfully. “Yes, please.” 

Thank you for reading!

Taglist:

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @lonelyisamyw-0love @romanarose  

@steven-grants-world  @blushingrn @to-be-a-sunshine  @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87

 @lunar-ghoulie @silvernight-m @autismsupermusicalassassin @reallyrallyauthor @basicalyrandom

@alwaysmicado @spxctorsslxt @novarosewood @hammerhead96  @mylittledelulucorner

@queerly-anxious  @swiftiegirliepop @oscarssimp  @eternallyvenus @lounilu 

@pigeonmama @iolaussharpe-24 @chaithetics @sub-aro @faretheeoscar

 @queerponcho @twwcs @ingoldthewizard @ominoose @ierofrnkk

@have-you-seen-my-sanity @missdictatorme @musicalnacho @buckyssugarchick @lemonzestinmydrink 

@sonotpractical @junggoku @julesonrecord @heavydirtysoulsblog

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

[iluvchick3nz]

hiii!!

i’m living for angst recently…. give us anything at all that’s gonna make me sob please!!! perhaps something tremzy centric because i love making him suffer!!!!

thank you!! 💕 (sorry i’m heartless)

Damn, y'all are really making poor Tremzy go THROUGH IT lately, give my guy a breeeeeaaaaaaak!!!!!!!!

Have some angsty recently married Cubs bringing Lolo to NYC for the hockey season. :(

I LOVE seeing all your messages and asks, I smile so big when I see the notifs!

Credits to @lumosinlove

“Okay. Okay, you got everything? Nothing left in the car from yesterday?”

“Ouais, soleil.”

“And you’ve got your tea in the cupboard. I bought you your tea, right?”

Logan smiled from his place at the kitchen counter, leaning back into Finn’s chest. “Ouais, mon amour.”

“Good.” Leo spent another moment fussing through the kitchen cabinets before he turned towards them, nodding satisfactorily. “Good, alright, you’re all set. You call us if you forgot anything, okay?”

“Mhm.” Logan reached out a hand. “Ici, Le.” 

Leo walked around to stand beside them, leaning down to cup Logan’s jaw. His eyes flitted over Logan’s face, a bit sad at the edges, even though he was smiling. Logan could feel the cool metal of his rings against his jaw, and he reached up to rub his thumb along them. Leo let out a breathy laugh. “You’re so gorgeous.”

“Mm,” Logan hummed. He tilted his head up for a soft kiss. “You have to go,” he whispered against Leo’s mouth.

Finn squeezed him tighter with a shaky breath. “No.”

“Ouais, yes. Leo has his first practice tomorrow. You have to go get your classroom ready.”

“No.”

Logan bit his lip against the oncoming tears. “Finn-”

“We just got married.” Logan could feel Finn’s tears falling against the fabric of his shirt- Leo’s shirt. “It’s not fair, we just got married.”

“Sweetheart,” Leo said gently, reaching out to run a hand through Finn’s hair. “Lo’s right. We don’t want to drive home in the dark.”

“But home is right here.” 

“Mon rouge.” Logan boosted himself out of the chair and turned to face Finn. He cupped his cheeks, red from his crying, and wiped away the tears sticking to his skin. “Sh, mon rouge, c’est bien. It’s okay, baby.” 

“I don’t want to leave you.”

Logan drew him into a tight hug. “I know, sh, I know. Mon mari.”

Leo pressed against Logan’s back and they stood there for a few minutes, just breathing. This part was always difficult; Logan had had half a mind to move back to New York all by himself this year, but Leo and Finn had shot that down quickly enough, and so the day before they had accompanied him to move all his stuff. Logan couldn’t say he wasn’t grateful for them coming, and was certainly grateful for today, when they’d spent the whole day inside, wrapped in each others’ bodies. Newlywed bliss was as heady and lovely as Logan had imagined, but he felt he had spent the whole summer with a clock floating above his head, waiting for the hand to strike midnight when they would have to separate and navigate being husbands- husbands- across distance. And now, with Finn shaking and falling apart in his arms, and Leo’s chest heaving as he not-so-subtly began to cry as well, Logan momentarily cursed the love he had for the sport that he played.

“D’accord.” Logan kissed the side of Finn’s head firmly. “D’accord, it has to happen sometime.”

Leo nodded against his neck. “We’re gonna miss you. Call us every morning.”

“Mon soleil,” Logan said, reaching back to scratch a hand through Leo’s curls. “I’ll call you every hour.” 

That made Leo laugh wetly. “Okay. Okay, that sounds good.” He bent his neck slightly and Logan craned his to meet him, brushing their lips together. “I love you so much.”

Logan smiled against his mouth. “I love you, too, Le.” 

Finn made a wounded sound against his neck. “Lo.”

“Sh, sh, Finn.” Logan laced his fingers through Finn’s hair to pull his head up and look at him. His cheeks were wet again and Logan kissed the purple under his eyes. “Je t’aime. Je t’aime, toujours, je t’aime.”

“I love you,” Finn gasped. “I love you, I love you both so much. This is-” He let out a groan and let his head fall back into Logan’s touch. “This is so hard, I don’t want to do this.”

“Hey,” Logan said. He tugged on Finn’s waves gently, even as tears began to roll down his own cheeks. “I’ll call you every morning and every night. I’ll send you a picture on every run I take, of every new bistro I go to, of every new drink I try and don’t like because you didn’t make it for me. D’accord?” 

Finn’s eyes blinked slowly and he nodded, studying Logan’s face. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay.” Finn leaned down and kissed him hard. “I love you,” he whispered, voice shaky. 

Logan ran his hands down Finn’s arms until they could lace their fingers together. “Je t’aime.”

Leo’s arms squeezed once around his waist. “It’s time.”

Logan nodded, kissing Finn’s hands before turning and stepping on Leo’s feet gently. He wrapped his arms around his neck and brought him down into a hug. “Drive home, please,” he whispered in French into Leo’s ear. “He’s going to fall asleep in the car.”

Leo laughed. “Ouais, he is.” 

Emotionally exhausting days made Finn tired, whether they were happy or sad. The day of their wedding, in the middle of the reception, Leo and Logan had had to take him into the dressing room at their venue and coax him into taking a nap on the too-small couch.

Tonight, however, he would be the feverish kind of tired and would no doubt fall asleep as soon as they hit the highway. It would be safer for Leo to drive, even if that didn’t provide Logan comfort, either- when Leo was emotionally exhausted, he couldn’t sleep. During away games, Logan knew he often didn’t. Until Finn retired, Leo hadn’t slept in a hotel room without one of them since making it to the NHL. At least Finn, when Leo was on the road, got to come home to a familiar apartment, or he went to visit Logan for the weekend. And Logan was used to it; he’d slept in the same room with different teammates since Harvard, and now he roomed with Alex on roadies. But Leo… Logan hugged him harder at the thought of him alone in an unfamiliar bed. 

“Mon soleil,” Logan said urgently. “You have to call me, d’accord? When you- when you can’t sleep, when you’re alone on roadies. I don’t want you to be alone.”

“I promise.” Leo squeezed him just as tightly, his cold nose seeking out the warmth of the skin of Logan’s neck. He pressed a smile there, too. “Oh, I love you so much. Mon mari.”

Logan smiled, too, and pulled back to look at him, blue eyes crystal clear and bright, even in the hard moments. Logan never thought he’d be so grateful for that. “Oui. Mon mari.”

When Leo kissed him, Logan shuddered at the warmth that washed over his body. Leo had one hand in his hair, one wrapped around his waist to draw their bodies together, needing to be closer. Logan let his arms drape over Leo’s shoulders and arched into his touch. It was the kind of kiss he had definitely seen in a movie- a desperate goodbye, happy and sad and in love in equal measure. Logan moved to hold Leo’s face firmly in his hands. He brushed his thumb over his sharp jaw, under his eyes where the skin would turn purple and puffy later tonight, along the slightly textured skin of his cheeks that Leo hated but Logan loved, because everything about Leo was absolutely beautiful. 

Logan kept Leo close to him for one more lingering press of their lips. He didn’t let them pull away very far from each other, just enough to touch their foreheads together. “Je t’aime.”

Leo kissed him once more, quick but sure. “I love you. I’ll see you in a few weeks, right? Preseason game?”

“Ouais.”

“And you’ll see Finn in two weeks, when he comes to visit?”

Logan smiled at Leo’s rambling. He was a bit tense under Logan’s hands. “Ouais.”

“I left you some leftovers in the fridge. Please remember to eat, Lo, and you call me if you need help, ‘kay? I’ll help you cook, I’ll send you recipes, I’ll-”

Logan interrupted him with one more kiss, feeling as Leo finally relaxed into him. “I will. I love you.”

“Okay.” Leo pressed his lips to Logan’s forehead softly. “I love you. See you in a few weeks.”

Logan hummed, running his hand through Leo’s hair. A noise from their sides made them both look over. Finn was standing there, his fist pressed to his mouth, as more tears rolled down his cheeks. The fact that he was still beautiful broke Logan’s heart. “Rouge.”

“Sorry.” Finn sniffed and wiped his eyes. “God, I’m sorry, it’s just- the sight of you two together, I just can’t.”

Leo held his arm open. “Come here, sweetheart.”

Finn just about fell into them, one arm gripping Leo’s waist and the other up around Logan’s back, coming to clutch at his hair and press their temples together. “I love you so much.”

Logan kissed his cheeks. “Je t’aime. I’ll see you in two weeks.”

“Two weeks.”

“Mhm.” Logan brought their mouths together. Finn always kissed differently when they said goodbye: a little desperate, a little frantic. It was the only time when Logan and Leo had to direct him into what he wanted, too upset to do so himself. Logan rested his thumb firmly against Finn’s chin and dipped his head down. Finn responded beautifully, his mouth going softer, more heated. With one last sigh and deep press of their mouths, Logan pulled away and kissed his forehead. “Take care of each other.”

Leo nodded. “Always, Lo.” He let them go to grab the duffle bag he and Finn were sharing, hefting it onto his shoulder. His eyes were wet as he looked at the two of them, but he still smiled. “Okay. Time to go.” 

Logan took Finn by the hand and walked him over, then took Leo’s and brought them to his mouth, kissing their rings. “I love you. Call when you get back to Gryff.”

“Ouais.” Leo opened the door and turned to face them, holding his hand out to Finn. “Let’s go, sweetheart.”

Finn nodded, his lips still in that little pout that meant he was really upset. Logan stood on his toes and kissed it. “Je t’aime.”

“I love you.” Finn drew him in for one more hug, laced their fingers, then reached his other hand out to take Leo’s. “See you soon.”

Logan squeezed his fingers. “See you soon.” He looked up to Leo. “Have a good start to the season.”

“You, too, honey.” Leo leaned down and kissed him softly once more. “I love you.”

“I love you.” 

Finn held onto Logan’s fingers until he physically couldn’t. “Love you.”

Logan smiled and leaned his head against the doorframe. He felt like his chest was starting to become cold. “Je t’aime.”

He watched them until they disappeared into the elevator, Leo waving goodbye once more. Finn was leaning heavily into his side, obviously trying to hold back any more tears until they got to the car. Leo kissed the top of his head lovingly. That was the last image Logan had of them until the elevator doors closed. 

With a heavy sigh, Logan closed the door and leaned against it, running his hands through his hair. His fingers twitched. He needed something to do to stop the ache in his chest.

Eating dinner was simply just going through the motions. It was early still, around five in the evening, but Logan didn’t really know what else to do to occupy himself. He didn’t want to play videogames. He didn’t want to watch a movie. Instead, he sat in silence at his counter, letting the warmth of Leo’s bolognese sauce settle over his tongue. Every now and then, his phone lit up with a notification, and he got to look at the lock screen. It was of Leo, Finn, and himself at their wedding. Logan was in between them, his favorite place, one hand laced with Finn’s behind him and one hand on Leo’s chest, looking up and smiling at something Leo had said to make him laugh. He could feel the phantom warmth of Finn on his back, the sure grip of Leo’s palms on his hips. The photo hadn’t even been staged- Noelle had simply caught them at the right time with her phone camera. It had been just before dinner, when the sun was still out, and they hadn’t worn themselves out talking and dancing and eating and laughing. Logan wanted to go back to that moment and exist in it forever, just a little bubble of their own making.

He yawned. It was definitely not even six o’clock, but he felt like he needed a nap. An hour would do the trick- then he would be awake for Leo and Finn’s phone call. He put his dishes in the sink to be washed the following morning and went to change into a pair of Finn’s boxers and Leo’s Saints sweatshirt that he’d left him. Leo would encourage him to get ready for bed now, even if he was planning on waking up again. He knew Logan hated waking up with a bad taste in his mouth. 

Brushing his teeth alone was still a feeling that made the hairs of his neck stand on edge. Logan was waiting for Finn’s hand to run through his hair, for Leo to bump their hips together from beside him. He missed the way Leo would break them each a string of floss, something that Logan and Finn had, admittedly, not started doing until they started dating him. What Logan would do to have Leo’s bright white smile flashing at him in the reflection of the mirror. To have Finn make fun of the water he dumped on the sink counter when he washed his face, or the way he laughed when Logan inevitably got soap in his eyes and pleaded for a towel. The way Leo would take moisturizer on his knuckle and dot it over Logan’s cheeks, sealing the cream with a kiss on his nose. 

Logan’s head throbbed. He let out a soft groan and reached into his medicine cabinet, flapping around for his bottle of ibuprofen. He popped two pills into his mouth and drank from the sink faucet, forcing them down his throat. He winced- he hated the feeling of pills going down his throat. Finn had been making fun of him for it since they’d met.

Logan sighed, then turned off the light and dragged himself to his bedroom. Leo had left his childhood stuffed duck, Charlie, on the pillows. Logan had been embarrassed the first time Leo had brought Charlie over, but he had become essential during the lonely nights when Logan needed something to hug. Charlie was tiny, and wasn’t as warm as either of his husbands, but he was the same color as Leo’s hair, and Leo had stitched an ‘F’ and an ‘L’ over his heart as a surprise for Logan last Valentine’s Day, when it had corresponded with the All Star break. Logan smiled and pulled back the covers, squeezing Charlie to his chest and pressing a kiss over the letters. His eyes started to shut against his will, his body heavy and warm underneath the blankets. 

Between one moment and the next, without even realizing it, he was asleep. 

***

Some time later, Logan awoke to a pitch black bedroom. He grunted, wincing when his back popped as he stretched, Charlie still firmly held in his hands. Logan let him fall to his chest and looked at him with a soft smile. He was sat and slumped over, obviously worn a little with love. Logan went to reach for his phone to send a picture to- Leo. He was waiting for Leo, and Finn, to call. He sat up straight and picked up his phone from his bedside table. 11:30.

Logan cursed. His boys were definitely home, and Finn, at the very least, was probably asleep. He sat up a little bit, pulling Charlie to sit in the crook of his elbow, and opened his messages with Leo. You awake?

The response was almost immediate. Yeah.

Logan hit the video call button less than a second later, tapping his toe anxiously. When Leo answered, he was in their living room, dark circles under his eyes. He smiled softly. “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Salut.” Logan shifted to slouch further against the pillows. He tilted the phone down. “Regarde, look who I have.”

Leo smiled wider. “Aw, look at you two. You fall asleep?”

“Ouais, I’m so sorry,” Logan said quickly. He shook his head. “I was exhausted.”

“I’m sure,” Leo laughed gently. “You and Finn both fall asleep when you have tough days.”

Logan made a noise of dissent. “It wasn’t all tough. Not the morning.”

Leo softened. “No. No, it wasn’t.” His eyes flitted over Logan’s face. “Did you eat?”

“Ouais.”

“Did you get ready for bed?”

Logan narrowed his eyes. “Ouais. I know what you’re doing.”

“I will force you to take care of yourself, even if we are three hours away, sweetheart, you know this.” He winked. “You married me.”

Logan felt the hard sensation in his chest melt a little. “Ouais. I did.” He looked at Leo for a moment before licking his lips. “Fish?”

“Asleep, honey. We barely finished dinner and he was nodding off.”

As if on cue, a slightly panicked voice sounded from off the screen. “Le?”

Leo winced. “Yikes, shouldn’t have left him alone in bed.” He stood from the couch, his eyes looking over the phone as he entered their bedroom. Logan admired the sharp angle of his jaw and chin as he smiled reassuringly at Finn. “Hi, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

“Is that Lo?”

“Yeah, hold on.” There was some shuffling, the click of a lamp turning on, and then Logan was watching as Leo settled down onto the bed, pulling Finn’s head to rest against his chest. Finn also had purple under his eyes and his hair was mussed in the way it got after he’d slept heavily. He blinked slowly and yawned. Leo kissed his head. “Say hi, honey.”

Finn let out a heavy sigh, his cheek squishing against Leo’s chest as he tried for a small smile. “Hi.”

“Oh, mon rouge,” Logan cooed. “You’re so sleepy.”

“Mm. Miss you.” He shifted to look up at Leo. “Did you sleep, baby?”

Leo’s cheeks reddened. “No.”

“Hm,” Finn grunted, then pushed himself up and away to shift onto his side. “C’mere.” 

Leo let out an oomph and a laugh as Finn dragged him back against his chest. They were sideways on the bed now, and Logan got to look at both of their tired, beautiful faces. He could feel the phantom sensation of their feet tangled with his own if he tried hard enough.

Finn pressed an exaggerated kiss on the back of Leo’s head and made a happy little sound. “Bone.” 

“Mon chéri,” Logan sighed. “Non, ton français n'est pas très bon.”

“Nom nom nom.” 

Leo giggled and snuggled further under their covers, blue eyes peeking out from under his curls. “You okay, sweetheart?”

“Ouais,” Logan nodded. “Just miss you.”

“You still got Charlie?”

Logan held up the toy and wiggled it in front of the camera. “Right here, soleil.”

“Good.” He shifted a bit. “I’m going to prop you up on a pillow, hold on.” He fiddled around for a minute, then had both of his hands free to hold Finn’s forearms, which were wrapped around his waist. “There. Now we can talk until we fall asleep.”

“Mm.” Logan shifted onto his own side and propped his phone on a couple of throw pillows, hugging Charlie close to his chest. He looked at Finn, who had his eyes closed and nose in Leo’s hair, then at Leo’s open eyes and their dark circles. “How do you feel, soleil?”

Leo sighed. “Tired. Awake. You know.”

“Ouais,” Logan whispered. “I know.” He smiled softly. “How about I tell you a story?”

Leo smiled back, sleepy and content. “Ouais. Sounds good. Fish?”

“Mm.”

Leo laughed, squeezing Finn’s hands and then looking at Logan. “That’s him saying yes, and that he loves you. We both do.”

Logan’s heart fluttered. Years and years of loving them and his heart still fluttered. “I love you, too. Close your eyes, mon soleil.” When Leo complied, Logan shifted to get comfortable, then took a deep breath. His husbands’ faces were peaceful on the other side of the screen.

“One day, Luke and I went running in Central Park. It was beautiful, sunny- the kind of day where you wanted to sit on the grass and tan. It was a month before I proposed to you. I had the rings and everything, buried in my sock drawer.” 

Logan saw Leo smile and heard Finn let out a content sigh, his hands flexing around Leo’s waist. Leo’s eyes blinked open briefly, like he couldn’t help it, before they shut again with a flutter of his golden lashes. Logan reached out and thumbed the screen, as if to touch them.

“There was a woman selling flowers. She sold them individually and in bouquets, I think. Lots of people were there buying them; when Luke and I went to look, they were all gone. Except two.” He bit his lip- against a laugh, against a sob, he didn’t know which. “Just two. A bright yellow daffodil and a red rose.” 

Leo made a sound in the back of his throat. “Lo.”

“Sh, mon soleil,” Logan hushed. Leo’s eyebrows were furrowed. “It’s all right.”

Leo nodded, then settled down again. Finn held him tighter. It made Logan’s heart ache.

“I bought them,” he whispered. “And I cut the stems like you showed me, Le, and put them in water in the tallest mug I had, because I don’t have a vase. And I sat and looked at them every day until they wilted. Or, they almost wilted.” He cleared his throat. “I left a gift for you. Under the bed, in a brown paper bag. Open it tomorrow, ouais?” At Leo’s affirmative sound, Logan laughed slightly. “It’s to remind you how much I love you.” He got closer to the camera and talked in a more hushed tone. “I love you, I love you, I love you…” 

He whispered to them until he saw Leo’s chest even out in sleep, then closed his own eyes, Charlie the duck held close to his chest.

***

The next morning, Logan awoke to a text and a picture in their group chat from Leo. It was of his and Finn’s forearms next to one another, the bracelets Logan got them on their wrists. They were made of brown cord with a dry preserved petal bead each: sunshine yellow that perfectly matched Leo’s golden skin, and deep red the exact same color as Finn’s hair. 

Thank you, sweetheart, Leo’s text read. We’re up, we love you, and call us when you’re awake.

Logan smiled and hit the video call icon once again.

[pigeonwhumps]

🪡 That’s gonna need stitches for Phoenix?

Phoenix slips into their room as soon as they get home and pulls the first aid kit out from under their bed.

They don't think anyone noticed them come in, but it's unlikely they'll care anyway. So long as their chores are done and dinner cooked it doesn't matter.

Which is good, because there's a gash running down their side, jagged and wide and gushing blood. It'd be more of a worry without their healing factor, but even so, they can't do their chores as they are. They skip over the paracetamol and ibuprofen (they won't do much good for a wound this size) and pick up a needle and thread. By the time they've threaded the needle it's slick with blood, but at least it's threaded. Their clothes and the floor are covered in blood already, and they wonder, vaguely, whether they'll ever get it out completely.

They work carefully, squeezing Mr Frosty in one hand as they pierce the skin. It's a painful pinch, and it doesn't last long but then they have to do it again, and again, and again, the pain making them want to scream as they drive the thread through. They bite their lip on a sob, vision swimming with tears. They don't often feel lonely, not really, in fact they'd rather not get Abbie and her friends' attention most of the time, but right now... right now, it's painful. They want their sister to help bandage them, their nemesis to make them smile, just someone to tell them it's going to be alright.

But they don't have that, it's been years since they had that, and they need to grow up and stop complaining about it. They can cope. They always do.

They stitch the last of the wound shut and pull the thread tight, tying it off. It hurts, oh it hurts so badly, they want to curl around it and block out the world. But that's not possible. They unfold a bandage and wrap the wound carefully, trying to avoid bending too much. It's not properly clean but they find they're having trouble caring. It's not like it's going to last long anyway.

As if to confirm their thoughts about not being able to stay here, there's a hammering on the door, before it bursts open to reveal Abbie looking impatient. Phoenix's heart pounds. So someone did notice them. They should've expected it, she's too observant for anything else.

"What on earth are you doing in here? There's lots to do, hurry up and stop idling around."

Phoenix shivers but gestures to themself anyway, to their rucked up t-shirt and bloody hands, and the mess of thread and bandages. They're grateful they at least got the wound bandaged first – if Abbie decides to 'test' it, it won't hurt quite so much.

"Unless you, um, you want blood everywhere, I need to, um, finish this first, sir," they say quietly, heart pounding. They're talking back. They're talking back. That's against the rules. And they really, desperately don't want to go in the cupboard again, or lose their powers when they hurt so much already, but it will be their own fault if that happens.

Their throat is tight, filling with unshed tears. They wish Abbie wasn't here so they could let them loose.

"Please, sir," they whisper, begging, pleading. They need more time. They need to finish this bandaging, and change, and clean up a bit so they look halfway respectable. It's not fair, sending them to work so soon after almost dying again. It's not fair.

It is. It is fair. It's not like they can die, it's fine. They're fine. There's no need for special treatment.

But god, it hurts. They'd break down and cry if it wasn't for the fact that they know what Abbie and her friends' reaction will be. Not pretty, that's for sure.

"Please."

Abbie raises an eyebrow. "You remembered your manners this time, that's good. Five minutes. And I expect the room spotless, and you to pay for that time."

"Yes, sir."

That's okay, it's about what they'd expected. It's fine.

Fine.

Abbie nods sharply and slams the door behind her on her way out.

Phoenix pulls Mr Frosty to them. For a moment, they don't care about the damage to the stitches caused by them bending over the stuffed toy. They just need the comfort. That's more important than anything right now.

And then they get to work. They feel like they might faint, or vomit, or both, but they brush that aside. They can't afford to consider that. Not now.

Later, maybe. Later. But certainly not now.

Edit: forgot the taglist: @extrabitterbrain @wolfeyedwitch @whumpinggrounds @painful-pooch

[boffeeceans]

Anyone want me to write some mungrove as gallavich- just kidding I already did it.

CW: mention of dead character (Neil), implied past child abuse (you can never be save enough), mention of murder

"I could've killed him a thousand times over and he dies of a fucking heart attack."

Eddie pauses what he's doing to look over at Billy. He's been listening to Billy cry and complain for hours now, nodding and humming along to whatever he says. He would do more, really, but he's just not that great at dealing with people crying. But Billy's been okay with how Eddie has been dealing with it so far, and Eddie is happy to do it. Even though he doesn't think Neil deserves this amount of grief, the guy was a total asshole and honestly deserved to die. Billy agrees, but his words throw Eddie off just a bit.

"Wait, are you crying because you're pissed of or because you're sad?"

"I don't know, okay? I don't know!"

Eddie sighs and takes a seat on the bed next to Billy, placing a hand on his knee. "He was a dick, Billy, the worst of the worst."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"I know you do, I know you know better than anyone, so aren't you at least a little glad that he's gone?" Eddie tilts his head to meet Billy's eyes. "You're free, Billy, there's no one watching your every move anymore."

Billy blinks a few times, more tears falling from his eyes, but the corner of his mouth quirks up. "Except for you."

"Hey, it's not my fault we somehow have the same friends." Eddie moves a little closer, wipes some of the tears off Billy's cheeks. "Can't help that you're so pretty, either, can't take my eyes off you."

Billy smiles and pulls Eddie in for a kiss. However, the sweet moment and Billy's good mood is short-lived, for his face crumbles and the sobbing returns.

"There, there." Eddie gives Billy a few soft taps on his shoulder. "How about I get us something to drink, huh? Some hot cocoa? Yeah, hot cocoa will make you feel better."

After receiving a short nod from Billy, Eddie walks out of his room and into the kitchen.

"He still going at it?" Wayne asks while Eddie gets the mugs out of the cupboard. Eddie let's the question linger, let's Wayne hear that Billy's crying can easily be heard through the thin walls before giving Wayne a pointed look.

"Right."

He sighs again and places the mugs on the counter. "I love him, I really do, but if this goes on for much longer, I'm gonna start crying."

The sound of a breathy laugh has Eddie tensing. He whips his head towards the door where his dad is leaning against the frame.

"You don't get to laugh. This is your fault."

"Hey, I was just trying to help."

"Help? Really? And you couldn't have done it in a different way, one that doesn't involve murder?"

His dad shrugs and his nonchalance just aggravates Eddie more.

"Y'know, I should just tell him you did it. He'll kill you, and then I don't have to deal with you anymore."

The words hang in the air for a moment, everyone in the room knowing Billy is more than capable of murder, and then, nearly unintelligible, "Please don't."

[driftvoid]

“You tell your mum whenever you feel ready to tell her, alright?“ Of course it would be strange to keep this from Kate, but it wasn’t his story to tell, and it would just be unfair towards his son, if he took this from him. And technically, he wouldn’t be lying to Kate – knowing her, and how well she knew him, too, she would be able to tell from the look on his face, that there was more to his request about having Josh and Howie stay over, than just the simple desire to get little sleep and wake up to find a mess in the kitchen. The thought put a smile on his face, before he returned to the task of HOW he would ask Kate. In the end, he’d just ask her, tell her, that he’d take full responsibility for the boys eating the cupboard full of snacks and whatever grumpy mood the girls would be in, because they didn’t get to have their friends over that night. It would be fine – just as Gordy would be fine when he told his mum about all of this.

Hand still brushing over his son’s back, he said nothing while he was crying into his jumper – his sobs heartbreaking, but anything he could have said, would just make it worse. Sometimes there was nothing one could do but cry until there were no more tears, and then you’d start feeling better eventually. He was sure it would be the case for Gordy and at his apology, he just managed a smile and shook his head in a silent reminder, that there was NO need to apologise after the situation that Gordy had just lived through. No judgement – he had promised that, and he was keeping his promise, too. Never understood those parents, who didn’t let their kids – especially their sons – cry. It wasn’t a sign of weakness, in his opinion.

“Right, I’ll chuck that jumper in the wash and grab a new one later. No bother. — I’m more worried about that cold hot chocolate. Reckon I need to make us a new cup, or get you summat else to drink. How’s about some lemonade? I know cryin’ makes you thirsty. – And Chloe made some earlier, before she left with your mum.” Head tilted in question, he slowly got up from the chair he had been sitting on; hand on his son’s shoulder as a soft, calming presence, before he walked after to the cupboard to get two clean glasses out.

Sighed silently at the question he was asked, before he turned back around to Gordy; leaning against the kitchen counter, with his hands resting on the counter’s surface at either side of him. “Listen, I can’t just say yes, Gordy. School’s proper important, and I think your mum’s gonna ask why you want to stay off. I don’t like lying to her, so I can’t say you’re sick, even if that’s what you’re planning to say tomorrow. Maybe the world’ll look different again in the mornin’? – I know why you ain't keen on going to school and I totally understand, I really do. But not showin' up might just make it bleedin' worse? If those fellas think they've won, 'cause they managed to intimidate you?”

"But Dad-!" He whines, but he knows all too well how this goes --- and he also knows that Mum will probably not disagree with Dad that Gordy's emotional support muppets network can stay over for one night, just until he no longer feels like demanding to be home-schooled. He's going to have to talk to Mum at some point, tell her what's happened, tell her why it's happened ( and honestly? He's pretty sure that's going to go just fine too --- the actual coming out part, anyway. Maybe not the what happened part so much, but maybe he can just skate round that until it's all forgotten? ).

Just... well, he'd thought he wasn't ready to tell either of his parents, but Dad's reaction makes him think that maybe he might be. "I'll tell her... just maybe not tonight. I just want my friends to sleep over so I can forget about all this, just for tonight. Please?" He's not cutting Mum out, not forgetting to include her, he's just--- well, he wants to recover from this chat before he starts the next one ( which has the potential to be so much worse emotionally ). He feels so scraped out, eyes sore from crying and chest aching with the weight of everything he's carried home - is still carrying despite giving some of the load to his father.

He wraps his arms around his father when he's caught in an embrace, face buried in the man's shoulder instead of his hands. He really needs to stop falling apart at the seams, but he can't quite catch at the pieces of himself to do that just yet, so for now, he'll just let himself feel the pain ripping at his heart, cry himself raw until he's got no more tears and no energy left to spend on boys that really don't matter in the long run. You can cry as much as you want. Good job too, because he really doesn't think he can stop just yet.

Eventually he's all cried out, exhausted and hiccuping a bit but he pulls away to clean his face of half-dried tears, takes a sip of cold hot chocolate just to put some moisture back in his mouth. "Sorry," he murmurs, sniffing a bit, "---got your jumper all wet." He's not embarrassed about crying; not with his dad, anyway ( Dad's seen him in worse states than this over the span of his relatively short life ), but he hadn't meant to let himself cry quite so hard for quite so long.

Taking another biscuit is an automatic move, not one Gordy actually wants to do. He doesn't take a bite of it, anyway; just sits and holds it in his hand as he stares through it. "Dad, can I- can I stay off school tomorrow?" He really doesn't want to go back, doesn't want to show his face at all, really, but he's going to have to if he wants to get good enough exam results to escape to uni in a couple of years. "Just tomorrow? Please?"

[lvlyynim]

bestfriend!mark who’d remember your usual drink and pastry order so he’d have an excuse to crash your study session in the library.

bestfriend!mark who always has a spare charger in his bag whenever your phone is running low.

bestfriend!mark who would lull you to sleep with a few plucks from his guitar and soft singing.

bestfriend!mark who keeps small gifts you gave him and stores them in a cupboard box, calling it his memories box. (from the first movie ticket you two went together to the polariods of you and him)

bestfriend!mark who has a crush on you ever since 9th grade, you skipped school to take care of him when he was sick.

“don’t you have that very important history test? the one you spent weeks studying for”

“oh shush, you’re more important than that stupid test. now shut it and drink this”

bestfriend!mark who has a drawer full of his shit in your closet cause he’s constantly over at your place.

bestfriend!mark who would stay up all night stargazing with you from the small balcony.

bestfriend!mark who nearly burned down your kitchen, trying to make a sunny side up.

“you are never ever entering my kitchen again. at this point mark, you’re setting yourself up everytime you grab a pan”

“at least this one is better than the rest-”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT”

bestfriend!mark who always know when something is wrong and shows up with your favourite snacks and his hoodie.

bestfriend!mark who sents you sunset pics daily saying it reminds him of you. he’s also your personal weather forecaster.

bestfriend!mark who orders fast food and eats them with you in his car, in an empty parking lot.

bestfriend!mark who holds your hand in crowded places out of fear of losing you in a sea of people. (also your hands will stay interlocked for the whole day)

bestfriend!mark who’s your biggest supporter and constantly encourages to face your fears, reminding it’ll always work out in the end.

bestfriend!mark who dyed his hair blue after losing his bet with haechan (and it was probably the best thing to happen cause it suits him, to the point where you can’t stop staring at him)

“you look great with blue hair”

“hm? dang really?”

“mhm probably my favourite colour out of the all other ones”

“damn you liked it that much huh? is that why you keep staring at me?”

“shut up and finish your food”

bestfriend!mark who rubs his hand up and down your back whenever you two hug.

bestfriend!mark who stays sober if you two go out for drinks or during parties so he could take care of you in case you do too many shots.

bonus nsfw cuts

bestfriend!mark who jerks off to a photo of you almost every night before being consumed by guilt and shame. (and does it again the next night)

bestfriend!mark who shamelessly checks out anytime you wear something a tad bit revealing. (his favourite : you in skirts)

bestfriend!mark who finally had the chance to pour his feelings out to you and fuck you senseless afterwards.

“you have no fucking clue how long i’ve wanted this” you let a broken sob, feeling as if his cock is gonna split you in half with how deep he is. how big he is.

mark just chuckled at your disheveled state, legs pinned to your body, eyes rolled back in euphoria, body littered with his mouthwork.

“taking me so good baby, so fucking good” he’s losing it by the second. with how you’re clenching around him, he’s not gonna last long. your high pitched moans is a telltale sign you’re in the same boat as well.

mark was a gone man when you wrapped your legs around his waist and pushed him deeper into your dripping cunt. leaning a whine of your name, he came hard. you took advantage and pushed him onto his back, straddling him.

wind knocked out of mark’s lungs seeing you bouncing on his cock, desperate for your own release. mark was choking on his sobs, his cock overstimulated to the point where he could cry any moment now.

“ba-baby please ngh please come please”

“fuck mark, i-i’m cumming”

it didn’t take long for the knot in your stomach to snap, orgasm washing over your body with a long whine of mark’s name.

[ever-yours118]

wiping their tears when they cry  for the buckley siblings if that's okay?

“She’s almost two,” Maddie says, as if Buck hasn’t been over for the past hour helping to bake Jee-Yun’s triple-chocolate brownie cake. But the tremble in her voice as the cheerful sound of whisking ceases—that’s what makes Buck come over from the cupboards, settling on one of the kitchen island chairs to peer up at his sister. Maddie’s still holding the whisk, staring almost angrily at the fledgling batter. “Buck—she’s almost two.”

“Three days,” Buck says with a tentative smile. The whisk is dripping dark batter onto the countertop, running in thin rivulets down Maddie’s wrist, and he carefully takes it, setting it in the bowl. “She’s getting real big.”

Maddie nods, and when her gaze finally drops on Buck, her eyes are liquid and watering.

“Oh, Maddie,” he murmurs, almost involuntarily. She melts into tears slowly before him, sinking down onto the chair beside Buck and letting him stroke her back, whisper soft platitudes into her hair.

And it’s always strange, because he’s only seen her like this a few times. They say that watching a mother cry is the most confusing thing for a child, but Buck saw his mother crying all the time—angry, despairing, depressed. She made excuses for her red eyes on what he now knows was Daniel’s birthday—your father and I had a little squabble, or I pricked my thumb on the rosebush, now run along, Evan. But it had never given Buck this feeling, this deep-welling sense of wrongness at seeing his older sister break to pieces.

So he does all the can, rubbing her back in slow circles as she turns to sob into his chest. And slowly, slowly, the shaking of her back subsides as she copies Buck’s deep, instructive breaths.

“It’s just—“ she hiccups softly, head still buried in his polo. “It’s just that the first birthday—it’s everything. Even with everything with Daniel, Mom and Dad took the time for photos of your first birthday party. And I—“

She chokes off, and Buck’s heart cracks a little, right there in his chest.

“Mads,” he says soothingly, helplessly. “Maddie…”

“I’m never gonna get that back,” she says, almost resigned. One hand unhooks from Buck’s polo to swipe at her eyes, but—

“Hey, no,” he says, catching her wrist. “Look,” and he laughs a little—kindly, soft. “You’ve still got batter all over the place.”

Sure enough, it’s smeared on the counter and on Buck’s shirt and all over Maddie’s nice blouse. Maddie freezes for a second before she smiles, watery but true, and it turns into so bright a laugh that Buck can’t help but to grin.

“Sorry about your polo,” she says finally, still a little teary as she wipes her hands on her already-ruined shirt.

“Nothing a wash won’t fix,” he hums. And slowly, deliberately, he reaches out. Maddie sits still quietly as she lets him swipe at the corner of one eye, brushing away the wetness there.

“Thanks,” she says, smiling tentatively.

“‘Course.” He tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, smoothing the soft locks soothingly. “Mads— I can tell you everything I’ve said before, but you know yourself how important it was that you got away.” He swallows, continues. “And I know you’ll never forgive yourself for it. But Chim has, and Jee will—and god-damn it if this isn’t going to be the best birthday cake a two-year old’s ever fucking had.”

Maddie laughs again, surprised, then tugs him into a soft hug. “You better give me all of Bobby’s tips.”

“That would be telling—“

“Then do it yourself, but—“ and she grins, wet but glad. “You’re right. This is gonna be the— the most kick-ass cake we’ve ever made.”

“That’s what I like to hear!”

(send in a prompt for a ship/genpair!)

[gravegroves]

Billy survives. And life gets better. Life gets better in ways Billy couldn't ever have imagined before, but as is usually the way for people like him of course it's all too good to be true.

The blackouts aren't bad in the beginning. He's losing time, sure, but only minutes at the most and there's a huge part of him that refuses to believe it's anything to be worried about. He doesn't even tell Steve it's happening. Why would he? Nothing's wrong. Then one day Steve finds him collapsed in the kitchen with blood coming out of his ears and shit gets serious real fucking quick.

There are scans and tests and they find the source pretty damn quickly all things considered. Dr Owens is kind enough to explain it to him in terms that make sense.

The mindflayer.

It isn't gone. It's hibernating. Probably waiting for the gate to open again so it can continue where it left off. They'd missed it the first time around because it hadn't been bigger than the tip of a pencil. Dr Owens points at the ghostly lines that make up Billy's brain, right at an innocent little dot hiding as deeply into Billy's head as it could possibly get and tells him it's now the size of a pea.

Even if the gate stayed closed forever (and that's a guarantee no one can make) the problem now is that it's growing.

Billy's infected with the beast like a returning cancer and they treat it like it is. Chemotherapy and radiation. They pump him full of chemicals as often as they dare and send him home in the passenger seat of Steve's car and there hasn't been a single trip where Steve didn't have to pull over so Billy could throw open the door and empty his stomach into the ditch.

And Billy knows what happens to people going through chemo. Who doesn't? But he's still horrified when he takes a shower one day and his hand comes away from his head with a huge clump of hair.

He chokes. Loud enough for Steve to knock on the bathroom door and ask if Billy's alright.

But Billy isn't listening. He's staring at the clump of hair clutched in his fist and somehow it's the last straw in a long line of fucked up shit Billy's had to go through recently. But he isn't gonna cling to his hair like some kind of middleaged, comb-over loser.

No fucking way.

Billy flicks the hair off his hand and turns off the water. He steps up to the sink, throws open the cupboard under it and yanks out the electric shaver. Stabs the plug angrily into the socket and turns it on, drowning out Steve's pleas for Billy to let him in.

He stares at himself in the mirror, at the strands of loose hair clinging wetly to his skin halfway down his chest and the thinning patch near his temple that seems so fucking obvious now...

It'll grow back. Billy knows it will. If he can just survive the goddamn chemo, it'll grow back.

He tries willing himself to lift his hand, to run the shaver over his head and just get it over with quick, like pulling off a bandaid, but there seems to be a disconnect between his mind and his hand. And Billy almost flies head first into a panic attack, momentarily conviced that the mindflayer is keeping his limbs locked up, but it's his own fear freezing him in place just as effectively. No matter how much he tells himself it's just hair, he can't make himself do it.

Steve's knocking takes on a frantic cadence until it stops altogether. Running footsteps pound outside the door until Steve comes smashing through it, eyes wild and worried.

"Billy?"

He stops. Stares. Looks at the trail of hair no doubt littered down Billy's back as it is his front. Sees the shaver and the look in Billy's eyes and something seems to click.

He approaches slowly. Gently tugs the shaver out of Billy's grip and turns it off before pulling Billy into his arms.

And Billy breathes shakily against Steve's neck, refuses to cry, but can't find it in himself not to care about this...

"Want me to help?" Steve offers after a while and Billy nods. Thinks the only possible way this is getting done is if someone else takes the wheel.

And Billy doesn't cry.

He's close when Steve runs the shaver over his neck for the last time and Billy feels the last lock brush off his shoulder and fall to the floor. He stares at the water-stained wall in front of him, too scared to glance at himself in the mirror.

The buzzing of the shaver continues and Billy frowns, looks up and turns around and that's when he finally chokes on tears. Reaches out to stop the shaver from going over Steve's head again, but it's already too late. And Billy cries ugly. Empties out all his frustrations and fears into huge sobs as he crumples in on himself.

The buzzing of the shaver stops and cool hands run over the fuzz on his head and his sensitive scalp. Breath brushes over his neck, followed by the softest pressure of lips.

Steve whispers into his skin.

"Now we match."

Billy looks down at the floor at their mixed strands of hair, reaches up blindly to cup the buzz on Steve's neck.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Steve runs his hands down Billy's back in a calming motion. "Man, it's going to suck when I have to shave off my eyebrows."

Billy laughs through his tears.

.

.

.

So @trans-siberian-marching-band asked for Steve to maybe shave Billy's hair and I made it way more depressing than I intended, I'm so sorry. At least it ended kind of happily.

[polar-equinoxx]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40306722

Whoops my hand slipped~

Iceman and Maverick are on a mission of somesorts together, and they get put in a room which has, you guessed it, only one bed. And Maverick has a nightmare.

hurt/comfort, fluff

1076 words (🎉👏)

Here you all go for those of you who want it on tumblr aswell <3

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

Only one bed☁️

Maverick pov

I walk into the small apartment, looking around. There’s a small bathroom, a little kitchen area, and a sofa in front of a tv. Not bad so far. I check the first of the two doors left, it’s a locked storage cupboard. Kinda weird but not too unexpected, it is the cheapest place they could find for us.

Iceman looks around the corner of the last door at me.

“What is it?” I ask.

“The bedroom,” he says.

“No way-“ I say sarcastically, going over to him.

He rolls his eyes and steps out of the way of the doorway.

It’s not big but not too cramped, with a window on the left wall as I walk in. And one bed.

“There’s… only one bed?” I say.

Iceman sighs behind me. “Really?”

I look at him out of the corner of my eye.

“Oh well, I’m taking the right side,” he says, taking a few steps into the room and going round to the right side of the bed.

“What? You’re just accepting it?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? I mean, you can go ask for another room if sharing a bed with the Iceman doesn’t suit you,” He smirks at me, sitting on the bed.

“No, no it’s fine-“ I state, my cheeks getting suddenly hot. “I don’t care, whatever—”

Ice laughs.

» ✧ «

Goose. Dead. Because of me. Because I went into that jetstream. Because I couldn’t wait. And suddenly we’re spinning down and down, eject eject, I’m yelling. The canopy roof comes off, I’m out, I open the parachute, falling again, slowly this time. I can see Goose’s parachute open. The jet hits the water three hundred metres away from where I do. Then Goose hits the water, but he isn’t moving, he isn’t moving. I call his name, get over to him, hold him up. The blood, his blood, all over my hands. No. No. He’s gone. I’m too late I couldn’t save him he’s gone he’s gone he’s gon—

I wrench myself into a sitting position, hardly breathing, shaking, tears in my eyes. No. No. Why now why now why here-

I look to my right, Iceman’s still asleep next to me, facing the other way.

My head falls into my hands, I cover my nose and mouth, tears leaking through my fingers, not daring to make any noise.

Just don’t wake Ice up. That would be embarrassing.

I splutter, breathing through my mouth, sucking air in, holding it, and pushing it out, over and over again.

Just stay silent.

Please. Be quiet.

I bite my lip, hard, holding my breath again, feeling sick to the core.

A hand on my shoulder.

No. Oh god. I woke him up. I woke him up I woke him up I woke him u—

“Pete…”

I let go of the breath, sniffing, still with my head in my hands, tears still dripping down my cheeks. He’s never gonna let this go; the one night the Iceman had to share a bed with Maverick Mitchell is when he woke up in the middle of the night crying like a kid. Jesus. He’s gonna remind me of this for the rest of my life-

But then he gets closer to me, wrapping his arms around me.

What?

“Shhh, it was just a dream…” He whispers.

What is he doing? Why is he holding me? Is this what he does when he embarrasses someone the next day? What is going on?

“Pete, it’s okay..” he says softly, pressing a kiss on the top of my head.

And suddenly, I don’t care. I don’t care about what’ll happen tomorrow, I don’t care about the state I’m in.

I just know that Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky is holding me in his arms, saying that it’ll be okay, right now.

I give in, pressing my face into his neck, gripping the back of his t-shirt with my hands in shaky fists, shuddering with each breath and each sob that escapes me.

“Shhh… I’m here,” He murmurs into my hair, rocking us slightly from side to side.

I try and catch my breath, strangely comforted by him.

The longer he holds me against him, the more I can feel my breathing evening out, and the less constant the tears are.

“…It’s alright Mav,” Ice says slowly.

Maybe.. just maybe he won’t use this against me. Maybe we can keep this between us for once.

I sniff, swallowing and moving my head slightly, and I press the heel of my hand to my eyes, stemming the slowing tears further. I don’t dare look up to meet his eyes though.

I inhale, my breath getting stuck in my throat. “I’m- I’m sorry..” My voice is gravelly and hoarse from the crying.

“You don’t have to be sorry,”

“But I woke you up-”

“Okay.. I went to sleep early today, I don’t mind being woken up at half three,” He says, slowly running his hand up my arm.

“Can.. can we keep this between us, please?” I ask quietly, finally looking at him. Please say yes.

“Why would we not?” Ice replies, he doesn’t look like he would use this against me, ever.

“I… don’t know,”

His hand reaches my face, and he thumbs away the remains of the tears.

I bite the inside of my cheeks, averting my eyes, trying so hard to not cry again, just because of the soft touch.

“Maverick.. what was the dream about?”

Now I am going to start crying again.

“..Goose,” I exhale, swallowing.

He doesn’t reply.

“.. how it’s my fault that he’s dead,” I sniff again. “It’s not the first time I’ve had it, either,”

“It isn’t your fault, Mav,”

“It is,” I say, “He’s gone because I flew into that jetstream, because I couldn’t wait for five more seconds or go up or down a little bit!” Tears start again in my eyes, and I lower my head, angry at myself.

“Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t blame yourself for what isn’t your fault and never will be,” Iceman says, the concern still in his voice.

I exhale, wiping my nose. “I can’t not,”

“You will be able to..”

I look at him, wanting to believe him, wanting to forgive myself.

Without saying another word, he slowly lowers himself back down on the bed, and I join him.

And I only move closer to him when he puts his arms back around me and pulls me in again.

[nextdoorharry]

imaaaaagine a world like that..can you? part 2

-

in which y/n sees a text, harry lies to her, and wants her back.

a/n: ahhhh!!! i feel like the first part of this story was a fan favorite out of all my other pieces! so thank you thank you thank you!!! hope you enjoy!

here’s the link to part 1 if you haven’t read it already!

-

you were always a light sleeper. you would wake up to a pillow falling on the floor, slight wind coming from outside, or even a phone that’s on silent vibrate. that’s the case when you woke up to a text vibration sound coming from a phone. tired eyes, you wake from your current position and see a love island episode playing. on auto-play of course because you already remember watching the previous episode a few days prior. you guess you and harry fell asleep during the new one you two were watching. with tired eyes, you squint to see harry sleeping peacefully. you miss this, you thought. sitting there in silence and taking in how harry used to sleep, slight snores, mouth a little open. except he’d be right next to you and not across.

your thoughts interrupted you hear the text buzz again. you grab what you assume to be your phone, since you and harry both have simple, plain black cases.

wrong.

it wasn’t your phone. it was harry’s.

you realized this when you read the text displayed on the lock screen, from olivia wilde.

I miss you, and our casual hookups. Can’t stop thinking about it. it read. you wanted to breakdown and cry right there.

you felt all kinds of emotions; confused, upset, angry, and jealous. why wouldn’t harry tell me this part? no i understand that, but why would he make it seem like he did not enjoy it at all? clearly he’s comfortable doing this stunt if he was hooking up with her. all these thoughts running through your head as you quietly get up, turn off the tv, and go upstairs to your bedroom. leaving harry to sleep on the couch.

you feel tears rolling down your face as you get into bed, quiet sobs erupting from your chest. you loved him. you still love him. you were glad when harry said that it’s all pr. you were glad when he made it seem like its all fake. but now, it was all a lie. sure it was a pr stunt, but harry and olivia seemed to take advantage of that and use that to get intimate. he clearly wasn’t as annoyed as he made to seem about the situation since he got to hookup with her. you may be jealous, but you don’t care that he didn’t mention something private like that to you, because he didn’t need to, it’s his business. but what stings is that he made it seem like it was clear he wasn’t actually into olivia.

-

you wake up to hear the coffee machine on, and the sound of something being cut against the cutting board. harry’s still here. you felt weird facing him now that you know he lied to you. even though you two aren’t in a relationship anymore, he has never lied to you. ever. nonetheless, you get up and proceed with your morning routine, then head downstairs.

“mornin,’ sleep well?” harry smiles as he sees you enter the kitchen. his eyebrows furrow a bit as you come closer to his vision. he couldn’t help but notice your eyes look a bit puffier than usual than how it normally looks when you’ve just woken up. he knows its either allergies or that you cried.

you reply with a slight “mhm” and reach for the cupboard to get glasses.

the thought of you crying makes him worried. it always did. you rarely cried during your relationship with him. only when it was a close individual’s funeral, or tears of laughter. or the day you two argued and he broke it off with you.

that’s why he hates seeing you in your state now. because if you were crying, all he could picture is the day you two broke up.

“y/n, y’good? your eyes look puffier than usual, love.” harry asks cautiously, trying to read your face, which refuses to make eye contact with him.

you were stood by the fridge, filling the glasses of water for the two of you when you replied, “m’good, just allergies. cat’s shedding season.” you say with a straight face, looking towards the glasses you’re filling. not wanting to look harry in the eyes. because all you can think about is how he was intimate with olivia, and how he lied. your stomach already turns at the thought.

“take the allergy meds that doctor prescribed you a while ago. remember it works wonders.” harry smiles, setting yours and his plate down on the table as you come and set the glasses down.

harry makes it so damn hard to hate him sometimes. the fact that he remembers the little things has you in awe. but no, not right now y/n.

“mhm, i’ll call in to get those refilled.” you lie through your teeth, acting as if the allergies were the reason for your current state, “thanks for breakfast by the way, y’didn’t have to. my fault for waking up later than usual.” you say sitting down.

harry sitting across from you, senses a different feel to how you were yesterday. you seem a bit off now, and you were never like this in the mornings. he supposes you did have a late night and filled with allergies bothering you, so you’re probably not in the best mood.

he shrugs it off, “no need, i overstayed my visit on accident, and its the least i can do after you helped me with my little uh, situation,” harry giggles, sticking a strawberry in his mouth.

you give him a glare as he looks down. his situation he says. you wanted to laugh in his face.

it’s a silent breakfast from there. harry in his own thoughts thinking about last night. oh, how much he missed you. how much he wanted to cuddle with you. be sleeping in bed with you. waking up to your face. soft kisses throughout. he misses it so much. he senses and hopes you miss him too. he had a good feeling last night. and that’s when he decides he needs to say something. if he doesn’t speak now, he never will. now’s the perfect time. after his tour and new album, he’ll be taking a break. a break from everything. a break to spend time with family, friends, live privately, and hopefully settle down with you. now’s the perfect time to reconcile with you and put the offer out on the table.

“..so,” harry begins. you look up and see harry putting his utensils down, wiping his mouth with a napkin, getting ready to speak. “after the tour ends, i’ll be releasing my album, do some promo for that, and then i’ll be on a hiatus..for however long i’d want it to be..”

you can’t just have all feelings for him disappear in less than 24 hours. so when he said that, you can’t lie to yourself and not feel some happiness. yet, he still better not say what you think he’s gonna say. you’re still mad at him y/n. don’t do this to yourself.

“so what are you saying..” you hum.

“god y/n, you know what i’m about to say.” harry purses his lips and looks you in the eye, hands reaching out for yours, “i’m ready to settle down with you, if you’d have me back that is.” he says with a little smile and gleaming eyes.

the days prior from yesterday of you finding out, you would’ve have said yes. you would have breathed out a finally, and had a sense of relief.

but now it’s going to be a different outcome. he took advantage of your kindness and you giving him advice. he took advantage of your time. maybe dramatic, but that’s how you see it.

you’re mad. that slight happiness you got when he said he was taking a break is gone.

“s’not even like we have to be boyfriend and girlfriend for another period of time! we can go straight to fiancés! we already have trust in each other, i mean we only broke up because of my work. nothing else was to be fixed in the relationship! i’ll put a ring on it right now if i have’ta!”

harry rambling, saying some bullshit about trust, causes you to interrupt him, “harry-“ he still rambles but now about having kids. “stop.” you say, voice grew a little louder and more stern.

harry pauses, wide-eyed. sure he didn’t know how you were even feeling about this, but he was sure the love you two have was still there.

“trust?” you laugh in disbelief. “first off, you’re acting like we took a break. a halt in our relationship until you were ready to settle down. you should know that’s not the case. i’ve been patient throughout our relationship far too long for me to be waiting around on your terms.”

“y/n i-“ he interrupts.

“no, i’m talking. this whole ‘trust’ thing is gone. i’m sorry but last night i woke up in the living room to a text notification. i assumed it was my phone, and since we have the same phone cases, i happened to pick yours up and saw a text from who’s supposed to be your ‘pr stunt’? she’s wanting to hook up with you? again? jesus harry, you should know why i’m mad and upset that you’re saying you want me now. even before you said all this, right after seeing that text, i was mad because you lied to me. look, you of course didn’t have to share that you were intimate with her; but don’t make it seem as if you’re not into her at all. and making it seem like it’s the poor girl’s fault. acting as if she’s a nuisance wanting to be intimate or affectionate, cause clearly you wanted her as well.” you end your speech with a sigh, shaking your head. you take a sip of water, mouth dry from the little speech you said. you wait for him to come up with whatever amusing thing he can say to make it not sound as bad as it is.

harry’s startled. doesn’t know what to say. he saw the text when he woke up, but he told her that it wasn’t for him anymore, that he just wanted you, and it was nice in the moment, but they are after all, strictly just business buddies with a platonic friendship. she understood, she seemed a bit mad, but harry didn’t care. he just wanted to make sure there’s nothing in his way to get you back, and that those hookups he had with her were in the past. he’s going to try to fix this.

you speak up again in a calmer tone, “you didn’t care about my feelings,”

his face turns red. nerves rattling him.

“y/n i feel awful about it, know what i mean i-“

you cut him off. “you made me look really dumb, harry.” you say while lightly nodding your head in order to get him to understand.

he begins to speak again. “look i’ll be honest. i should’ve mentioned it yesterday, and m’sorry for that. i will admit, there was a physical attraction with her at the beginning of everything, and since we were broken up-“

you correct him, “are, broken up.”

his heart hurts when you say that, he nods, “yes, are broken up, i didn’t want to live with any regrets. i felt it was better to just experiment and to take advantage of being in the stunt, seeing if there’s a spark,” he takes a breath. “i would’ve regretted if i didn’t and it was better to do it at the time because i didn’t know if you would even take me back once i came home,” he keeps fidgeting with his feet under the table, nervous on what your response will be; but hopefully understanding. because you always were.

wrong. boy was he wrong.

“so..you still did it with the intention of coming back home, hoping to get back with me?” you caught him. “harry..what are you even saying?”

he gulped. fuck. this looks bad. he didn’t think things through, he thought. “look, you didn’t feel anything rushing back last night? everything that we had, and built together?” face even more red.

“yeah and then today..you slapped me across the face with a lie and embarrassed me.” you spat. “what’s wrong with you? you don’t have any respect for me.” shaking your head in disappointment. “and its such a let down considering if you hadn’t hooked up with her, i would’ve hopped right into your arms right when you said you wanted to settle.”

he regrets everything and anything right when you said those words. why did he hook up with her? god did he really think y/n was going to just be waiting around? of course he thought so. he always did. and that’s why you two were broken up.

he sighed, shaking his head as well, as he’s disappointed in himself. he was about to speak, but you beat him to it. “i’m not mad that you hooked up with her, i’m mad that you don’t have any respect for me. i’m mad about your intentions behind it. and the fact that you lied to me making it seem like olivia is the bad guy saying, ‘s’like she enjoys it!’” you repeat his words he said to last night, when he made it seem like he wasn’t into her. “and just the fact that i gave you meaningful advice because i care about you, once again, you embarrassed me. i feel dumb, harry.”

he feels dumb too.

you still didn’t let him speak, instead, you let him leave.

“something needs to change, harry. until then, please leave.” you say, getting up from the table walking hurriedly upstairs, eyes beginning to water, but you feeling satisfied that you listened to your own advice you gave to harry: stand your ground.

-

a/n: man really thought y/n would be waiting around for her. smh.

hope you guys enjoyed this part!! still deciding on whether to make a part 3 or not! don’t really know which way i want to go about it.

[justbreakonme]

(A and B are both training to become soldiers/spies/guards/astronauts/etc. in a boarding school situation)

A woke up to a pitiful gasp outside her dorm door, followed by a small knock. She was out of bed in an instant, flinging the door open just to see B crumpled outside it, sobbing.

A and B were regular rivals, most commonly seen at each other’s throats. Everything was a competition here, but B was her primary competitor.

“Please..” he wiped his eyes, trying to gather a little bit of the dignity that was all but lost, “I don’t know what to do..”

B didn’t know anyone else here as well. He wasn’t close to anyone, not even that close to A, but he knew that she fought fair, and didn’t hit any harder than she needed to. He couldn’t say that for anyone else.

“B, what the hell, what’s going on?” her voice was hushed, the slightest touch of anger overwhelmed by concern, “Get in here before someone sees you, come on.”

She helped him up and inside, shutting and locking the door behind them.

He took a deep breath, trying to explain himself without losing it. “I- I can’t sleep, I haven’t slept all week, I just can’t, and I don’t know what to do, please, I don’t know who else to go to…”

His voice broke, and he was crying again.

She’d never seen him cry…

“What do you mean you can’t sleep?”

“W-whenever I try to close my eyes, my heart beats faster and I start to panic, I don’t know what’s going on…”

The desperation in his eyes and his voice, the way he was still clinging to her hand, the fact that he had come to her of all people…

This wasn’t a trick.

“Okay, alright, let’s get you calmed down…” she coaxes, letting her voice soften into the honey tones she usually reserved for cooing at the local cats, “You want to sleep in here for tonight?”

He just shrugged, and she could feel him still shaking. “Does being alone make it harder to sleep?”

He nodded.

“Okay, well you’re welcome to stay… here, sit down for a second. Let me get you some pain medicine for the headache that either is coming or already started.”

He’d stopped crying and sat quietly and obediently at the end of her bed, seeming to try to regain his composure while she rooted around in her bathroom cupboard.

“Here, these should help,” she folded the pills into his shaking hand and handed him a water bottle as well, leaning against her bed post as she watched him take them, “So, what’s freaking you out?”

“Exams, I guess… I can’t fail this…” he looks up, locking eyes with her for the first time, “I can’t.”

“What would happen if you did?”

“My dad would kill me. And I’d let him.”

“Why?”

“Cause everyone on my dads side has made it through, and I’d rather be dead than deal with how he’d treat me otherwise. I have to make it through, but- I don’t know if I will…”

She sighed and plopped down next to him, looking over.

“You’re gonna make it. Assuming you can get some sleep and stay focused, you’re gonna make it. Your scores are awesome, and the only person you can’t beat is me.” she jokes, elbowing him gently, and he can’t help a weak laugh.

“Maybe…”

“But if you don’t get some sleep that might make it more difficult… So come on. Shimmy up.”

They both shift farther up the bed, till they could tuck themselves in, and he sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Bothering you.”

“Well that never stopped you before,” she teases, trying to keep thing light, “But seriously. We may beat the shit out of each other out there, but in the end, we’re all on the same team.”

He’d never thought of it that way before.

All this training wasn’t just to impress his dad, or wasn’t supposed to be. It was to protect people, A included. They were, in reality, supposed to be willing to die for each other…

He nodded before he could start crying again, and stared up at the ceiling trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

He didn’t know when he had started to drift off, just knew that when he woke up, A was pressed up against his back, holding him like a teddy bear.

He glanced at the clock, praying to whatever god was out there that it wasn’t time to get up yet, and let out a sigh of relief when the clock only registered 2:06 am.

B sunk back into the bed with another soft sigh, and did his best to avoid jostling A. And, he slept again, dreamlessly and peacefully, till the alarm sounded in the morning.

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

I dont know if i sent a request in befor ebut im sending in a sad one for me personally. Okay so the turtles have known reader for awhile, shes usually optimistic, chill person but one day something like so miniscule happens at the lair. Like mike slammed a door too loud or Leonardos simple change in tone and she ends up in like a bad episode, like pleads and shakes and crys cause of ptsd and cant be touched by certain people. Maybe case or vern? Cause men. Human men are awful in her eyes

I’m so sorry this has taken me so long to get to, I really hope you’re feeling better now or at least managing xox

Leo

So Leo is reading, kind of to you, kind of to himself

just reading out loud basically 

he turns the page an suddenly “FUCK” 

he practically yells it, it’s very loud and sudden and caught you off guard

it was only a paper cut

you can’t help it, tears spring to your eyes

no one notices at first because they’re concerned with his exclamation 

but as your heaving breaths get louder and as you start to shake and sob they notice

Casey comes over and puts an arm around you to try and comfort you

you flinch and start crying harder, almost yelling “NO!” at him

Leo comes over and hesitantly kneels by you

he asks the others to leave you both for a moment and they all comply

“hey” he says in his softest voice “What’s up? Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

all you can get out is “I’m sorry” over and over again

“Is this ok?” he puts a hand on your back and tenderly rubs it with his thumb

you don’t seem to hate it so he leaves his hand there

“look” he begins “I don’t know what’s happening, but you don’t need to be sorry for anything. And whatever you’re going through, we’ll get through it together, like we always do”

you take your face out of your hands, eyes red and face flushed from crying so hard

he smiles meekly at you, trying to look like he knows what he’s doing

“is there anything I can do for you?”

“just stay”

so he sits on the floor with you and waits for this episode to be over

occasionally reminding you how brave you are and how much he loves you

for the rest of the day he makes sure to be extra attentive and loving towards you, making sure to see to your every need and check you’re ok

Raph

you’re sat at the kitchen table while he cooks the whole gang some breakfast

everyone is just chatting and having a laugh

he flips over one of the pancakes and then punches a cupboard with a “it’s fucking burnt!”

it was so out of nowhere, as his moods often can be, that you don’t see your reaction coming

you nearly scream in emotional distress

but cover your mouth in time and a mewling cry is all that comes out

crying and shaking

Vern comes up to you and tries to give you a hug which you desperately try to squirm out of, clearly hating the contact

next thing you know Raph pull shim off and shoves him across the room

“Don’t touch ‘em!”

he gets down to your face level

“angel, what’s happening? Tell me what I can do, please”

he’s pleading

you can’t say anything, all you can do is just cry and shake

he puts a sheepish hand on your knee to try and gage your reaction, when you seem fine with it he keeps it there

“Baby, I’m sorry if I upset you” he says in that low, gentle tone he uses just for you “hey, come on”

he takes your hand and guides you out of the room to somewhere more quiet and peaceful

“how ‘bout we just stay here till you feel better?”

you nod

he starts mindlessly talking to fill the silence, he can’t stand hearing you cry

“....And I’ll be less angry, I won;t yell like that around you ever and I’’’ be calm. I’ll get fucking zen training from Leo if I have to and I’ll...” he just goes on and on about how he’s going to be better for you

once the episode seems to be coming to an end you guys talk about what happened and he understands why you reacted how you did

he has a private word with Vern about how if he ever touches you again when you’re like that, he’ll brake his legs

Mikey

Mikey and you are in his room just hanging out

he’s trying on different clothes to get your opinion on them

but he shuts the wardrobe door way too loudly, slams it even

you don;t know what comes over you but the sudden loud noise just wrecks you

you start to cry and shake and can’t contain yourself

“no, no, no, no!” he starts

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- was it the noise? I’m so sorry”

he knows you don’t always like being touched when you get like this so he’s hesitant to hold you even though he wants to

he sits on the bed next to you and asks if he can put his arm around you

you nod so he gingerly places one arm around you and squeezes your shoulder

“we’re gonna get through this” he whispers

“you’re so strong and kind and I love you so much. Please just be ok”

you know he means it sincerely 

you sit like that for a while, it’s weird not hearing Mikey talk even though you can tell his mind is going a mile a minute

he hums though, all your fave songs and lullabies he hums and rocks you slightly while you cry

when the episode is over he asks what he can do better next time so you tell him what helps you

he order in food and you guys just stay in his room, he gets you plenty of blankets and pillows and just soft things to surround yourself with

the next day you find Donnie installing something in his closet doors

you ask what he’s doing and he says “oh yeah, Mikey said they make a really loud noise when they shut so I’m just putting something on so they won’t slam closed”

you smile at that, he’s always looking out for you

Donnie

you’re in the lab like always and Donnie is getting frustrated

he’s tried this sequence so many times before and it’s not working

finally, in a rage, he slams down a beaker and it shatters on the desk

you can’t take it, the energy in the room, the loud noise, the glass everywhere

he realises what he’s done the second you cover your face and start to cry

“I’m so, so sorry!” he whispers

“Oh god, I’m so sorry I wasn’t thinking!”

he sounds urgent but he’s almost inaudible 

“can- Can I touch you? Is that ok?”

you nod and he scoops you up in his arms

cradling you and whispering “it’s ok” over and over again as well as “I’m sorry”

your head is in the crook of his neck and he’s rubbing your back and stroking your hair

Casey passes by the room and see’s what’s happening, he walks over like he’s about to hug you but Donnie puts a stop the that right away and tells him to leave

“hey, honey, I’m so sorry. You didn’t cause that, it was just me being stupid. I’m so sorry, I’ll never do that again”

he gets down to eye level with you and smiles gingerly 

“we’re gonna get through this, ok?”

you nod again

once you’ve started to come out of the episode he apologises again and asks what he can do to protect your mental health better in future

the next day he buys you flowers as an “I’m sorry” gesture

he feels terrible to have brought that on in you and it shows

he shows you how if you hang flowers upside down they last forever so you do that

he calls it a gesture of his undying love for you

[vacant--body]

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: Su!c!de attempt, graphic description of bl00d, mentions of death, medical procedure talk, loss of pregnancy, PTSD, lots and lots of angst, mentions of drinking.

Female!reader, love triangle with Steve and Bucky (kinda?)

Word count: roughly 2,076

Please don't read if any of these warnings will trigger you :)

I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME

✿~~~✿~~~✿~~~✿~~~✿

Bucky's eyes snapped open, his advanced hearing honing in on the soft wails coming from down the hall. It was you, it always you. He inhaled sharply and pushed himself out of his warm bed, his dog tags clinking against his bare chest. It gets worse when Steve isn't here; your night terrors. He's the only one that can rock you back to sleep, soothing your tear stained cheeks and calming your raging mind. Bucky isn't very good at it, but he can get the job done.

His door slid open and he walked quietly down the hallway, careful not to wake anybody else up. Tony had to semi soundproof your room. When you first came to live in the compound, your screams would keep everyone up all night. Now only Bucky and Steve could hear your cries, which often made for sleepless nights. But lately it’s been getting better, which he was thankful for. Both for your sake and his sake.

Bucky stopped in front of your door, expecting it to just slide open like it normally does. But it didn't. Confused, he waved his hand in front of the sensor but it didn't budge. "Friday?" He yawned, annoyed. What couldn't Tony just put in normal doors? They're so much simpler. "What's wrong with the door?"

"It seems that Ms. Y/L/N has locked it." Strange. You never lock it.

"Well, unlock it." He snapped back at the AI.

"I cannot. She has over-ridden my capabilities to unlock it."

"What?" Bucky asked, suddenly more awake. The hairs on his arms stood up and a gut wrenching feeling began to churn in his stomach. He could hear you on the other side, still crying. "Y/N!" Bucky yelled pounding on the door. The cries grew harder. "Y/N open the door!"

"Go away!" You screamed. "Just go!" This wasn't a night terror, you were awake. “I don’t need you, Bucky!”

"Friday, get Tony down here." Bucky yelled, pounding on the door again. "Y/N please just open the door! Let me help!"

"Don't need your help." There was the sound of the bathtub starting up. "Just go."

"Bucky,” A tired voice groaned from behind him. Sam. "It's 2:30 in the morning, why in the hell are you screaming."

"Y/N locked us out." He muttered, pressing his ear against the door. He could hear you whimpering on the other side. "Friday can't open it."

"Friday, get Tony-"

"He is on his way." She replied back. "Ms. Y/N also disabled her cameras. I can't see inside there either."

"Y/N!" Bucky tried again, his voice cracking just enough for him to notice. Hopefully not enough for Sam to notice.

"Does someone wanna tell me why I am down here in the middle of the god damn night?" Another voice said behind them.

"Just get the fucking door open." Bucky snarled. Tony took note of the worry and urgency in his voice and unlatched a panel that was next to the door. He moved some wires around and the door hissed open.

Bucky rushed in and the state of your room hit him like a truck. It was a wreak. Your mattress was halfway off of its frame, your dresser was knocked over with all the clothes torn out, and there was a smashed chair in the corner. You had also punched out your mirror, making Bucky's footsteps crunch as he walked through her room. How did he not hear this? Why didn't he wake up? But that's not what bothered Bucky. His nose instantly picked up on a coppery smell that stung the inside of his nostrils, making him instantly nauseous. He pushed into the bathroom, where somehow the cupboard was shoved in front of.

The sight before him was enough to make him cry and vomit at the same time. You were submerged in the bathtub, the water stained a bright red color. A long shard of glass from the mirror was laying on the floor, stained with your crimson blood. Two deep long cuts had been carved into your forearms. The ringing in his ears slowly subsided and he heard the sound of either Tony or Sam dry heaving behind him. He wasn't sure who it was.

"Friday, prep medical bay. Get Banners ass up. Now." He heard Tony growl.

Bucky sunk to his knees, his sweatpants become stained with the blood soaked water that had sloshed over the edge. "Y/N." He muttered. She was pale. Too pale. "Y/N!" He yelled grabbing her by the shoulders. “Open your fucking eyes and look at me!" You didn't open her eyes, the only movement was coming from your chest. You were taking quick short breaths, which Bucky figured wasn't good. "Please don't do this to me, please. I need you, fuck-" He choked back a sob.

"Buck, we have to get her down to-" Before Sam could finish his sentence, Bucky was lifting you out of the water and took off towards the med bay.

Banner was already down there, a suturing kit already laid out. "How much blood has she lost?" He asked immediately as soon as Bucky came barreling through the doorway.

"A lot." Was all he could manage. He carefully laid you down on the cot. His thoughts were going a mile a minute. You were supposed to be getting better. Sam and Banner were supposed to be helping you, the therapy was supposed to be helping. Not killing you. Why wasn’t it helping? Why were you so selfish? How could you do that to us? To me, to Steve. To this whole team?

"Well good thing most of the team is A Positive so we have some on standby for her." Banner said. Bucky wasn't sure if he was talking to him or to himself.

Banner flushed out your wounds with what looked like water, and carefully began to stitch you up. Bucky noticed the slight shaking in his wrist and he pulled your skin together.

"Where is Steve?" Bucky whispered to Tony, not taking his eyes off of Y/N and Banner. For once, you looked like you were at peace. Your features were smoothed and relaxed, nothing like your previous state.

"His teams on their way back. ETA 4 hours." Tony whispered back.

A heavy silence fell over the med bay. Bucky felt drained. He couldn't keep his thought straight in his head, and it was numbing. He just kept asking the same thing. Why? You were doing so good. You were laughing, smiling, and actually making progress to talk to people outside your comfort zone. Of course you were still having night terrors, Sam said those wouldn't go away for a long time. But other than that you were fine. You said you were fine. He couldn't understand why.

Banner was done with one side. He moved over to the other and began to repeat the process, but one of the machines she was hooked up to began beeping rapidly. His head snapped up and his brows furrowed.

"Friday do a full body scan please." He grunted.

"What? What's wrong?" Bucky pleaded, his skin tightening and his stomach doing loops.

"Blood pressure is dropping. Not good." Was all he heard over the several machines firing at once.

"There is hemorrhaging. Location: uterus." Friday said back. "Surgery is recommended."

Banner quickly finished the last of the sutures and yanked your water and blood soaked sweatpants off. There was a large amount of blood pooling in between your legs.

"Bruce what is that?" Bucky yelled rushing over to them. "What's wrong with her, did she stab herself there?" He felt like he was going to vomit.

"Bucky-" He started as he fumbled with some tubing.

"What are you doing to her?!" Bucky yelled again his voice become more and more distressed. "You're gonna kill her please help her!"

"Tony get him the hell out of here!" Banner screamed finally, the Hulks voice peaking behind his anger and frustration.

Bucky was being yanked out of the bay by Sam and Tony. He could fight back easily, fight them off so he could be with you. But his legs were so shaky he could hardly stand on his own two feet. The windows that looked into the bay dimmed and Bucky caught one last look as Banner yanked down Y/N's underwear. A sob escaped from Buckys lips as he crumpled to the ground. What was happening now? Y/N must be so scared. He was so scared.

He felt that hot tears prick at his cheeks and dribbled down into his beard hair. He was crying. Crying for the first time in who knows how long. He couldn't loose you. You were the only one who truly understood Bucky. You meant too much to him.

"Buck-" Sam started but Bucky just cut him off.

"Leave me alone." He sobbed. It felt like a metal pipe had been shoved down Buckys throat. He couldn’t breathe. "Please just go away." Tony and Sam shared a look before the disappeared down the hallway.

He sat there for what seemed like days. But it was only hours. Soon enough Steve came jogging down the hallway to where Bucky sat.

"Buck." Steve gasped, kneeling down next to him. "What happened?"

"I thought she was having a night terrors." Bucky's voice was raw and it hurt to swallow. The crying must have stopped hours ago, but he couldn't remember when it ended. "But she locked me out. Tried to...tried to..."

"Oh god." Steve whimpered, understanding what he was saying. “Is she...?" Bucky shook his head.

"She started bleeding. I think Banners still doing surgery." Steve's face was screwed tightly together as he stood back up. Bucky couldn't tell what he was feeling. He paced the hallway for a bit before he slid down against the wall across from Bucky, his eyes blankly staring at the door. He could see the trembling in his chest when he inhaled.

They sat there in silence for about another hour, when suddenly, the doors to the med bay swung open. Banners eyes fell on them. He sighed heavily and put his hands in his pockets.

"What? What is it?" Bucky pleaded getting to his feet, which caused Steve to stand up.

"Is she okay?" Steve asked, his brows closely knit together.

"Yeah. She's stable. Woke up for a few minutes but she's sleeping now. I had to give her some medicine to calm her down. And I had to..." He trailed off. "Restrain her. She's very agitated." Bruce exhaled and wrung his hands together.

"Then what happened? Why did you have to do surgery." Bucky prodded. He could tell Banner was hiding something.

"The bleeding was caused by a mixture of shock and her blood pressure tanking. I couldn't-" He cleared his throat like he was keeping back tears. "I couldn't save the fetus. She miscarried."

It felt like someone had punched Bucky in the gut. Fetus? Miscarried? She was pregnant?

"From what I could tell she was about 15 weeks along. I ran the DNA because I wasn't...I wasn't sure who the father was."

"I had a child?" Steve whimpered. Tears were falling freely down his face.

"No, Steve.” He whispered softly. “Bucky, it was yours.”

"What? No. That's impossible." Steve scoffed. "You must have your science shit mixed up. There is no way."

"No, he's right." Bucky whispered, absolute shocking talking grip of his body.

"I'm sorry. It was a boy."

"What? No. No! It's wrong. Go test it again Banner! I know it's wrong!"

"Steve-"

"You were fucking her?!" Steve screamed, turning to Bucky. "You knew I was in love with her and you were fucking her?!"

"It was once Steve! Almost 3 months ago! We were drunk and you were away on a mission and I came onto her!" Bucky bargained, staring into the flames of his best friend’s eyes.

"You fucked my girl! My girl!" Steve was irate, barely able to contain himself.

"She isn't yours Steve, you're not even together!"

"I told her that I loved her! And you went and fucked her anyway! What, do you always follow your dick!? I bet that's why she refuses to look at you!"

"No, she told me that she loved me!" Bucky screamed back, his voice echoing in the hallway as silence washed over them. Bucky took a deep breath. "She said it first. And I told her it was a mistake and should be with you." He said quietly.

Steve let out an animalistic growl, and his fist made contact with the side of Bucky's cheek and the back of his head smashed against the wall.

"I love you Bucky." Y/N's soft voice said. Your head was currently buried in Bucky's bare chest. "It's you. It's always has been." You whispered.

Bucky reached down and cupped her cheek, making you look at him. He has been waiting to hear that since they first met. He didn't believe in love at first sight but ever since he first laid eyes on you, he started to believe.

"You don't mean that, doll." He muttered back. Alcohol was still running its course through their bodies. "You're drunk."

"Drunk words are a sober mans thoughts."

"Y/N-"

"I want you Bucky. Just you. No more going back and forth between you and Steve. I can't do that anymore, Bucky. Please believe me." You pleaded, your large eyes staring into his.

"You deserve someone like Steve, not like me. You can't love me." He sighed, letting go of your face.

"I love Steve. He’s amazing and kind, but I love I have for him isn’t like how I love you.”

"No. You love the thought of me." He snapped, rising off the bed. "But you don't love me Y/N. I promise you, you don't. You shouldn't." He gathered his clothes from the floor and shimmied into them. He reached the door and stopped at the sound of your voice.

"But-" Bucky winced at the sound of your voice as it was filling with tears.

"I'm sorry." He whispered turning away, his own eyes brimming with tears. "I don't deserve you. You can't love me. I'm sorry."

part 2

[spunkpunx]

Say You Love Me - Jimmy Darling

Plot: Reader is heartbroken when she hears Jimmy has lost his hands, but when they're replaced he decides to make up for lost time

Word count: 3105

Warnings: Smut, Smoking, Mild violence

The words hit me like a ton of bricks when Dell brought the news. Jimmy's hands were gone. My Jimmy's hands were gone. Taken. That no good piece of shit Richard Spencer and his lies. I couldn't believe Elsa had fallen for his bollocks, but I supposed that was his game. The rest of the freaks stood in shock.

"Oh no, not Jimmy!" Ima cried over dramatically. I felt my blood boil. My skin crawled as she wailed. I felt my ears burn up with my rage. She'd been here not five minutes and here she was, caterwauling over what they had done to him. I couldn't out loud admit what I felt about Jimmy, but I sure as hell could let it be known how I felt about her. I ran at her and swung one hard punch to the side of her head. The force did not knock her over, but the shock certainly did. 

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I spat out the words repeatedly as I continued to hit her face and chest once she had fallen. I felt my eyes prick as I screamed at her, before Paul and Eve pulled me away. The second the anger cleared I collapsed in tears. Penny came over to me as Eve followed Dell out the tent. She held me tight as I sobbed into her chest. Ima was taken out the tent, bloodied and bruised and sniveling. I lifted my head only to spit in her direction.

"Shh, shh," Penny cooed, stroking my hair. 

"What have they done to him?" I whimpered, my voice coming out far more feeble and cracked then I had ever heard it. "How's he going to survive in there without his hands?"

"I don't know," Penny told me, honestly. "I'm sure he'll find a way."

She took me back to my caravan and I poured myself a drink. I pulled an ashtray out the cupboard and lit a cigarette.

"You don't have to watch over me Penny. I'm sure you probably best go check on your man."

"I don't want to leave you like this," she admitted, sat delicately on the edge of my bed. She was still so beautiful, despite the lizard tattoo, and so kind as well. I couldn't bear to be around anyone at the minute though.

"I'll be fine," I told her softly, but when she didn't move I snapped at her. "Piss off! I don't want you here!" I hadn't meant to be so harsh, but she gathered herself up and left. I knocked back my drink in one. It burned my eyes and stung my throat but I hoped for my own sake it would help me sleep.

I went through more alcohol and more cigarettes. My ashtray overflowed. My head was spinning as I reached toward the bottom of the bottle. With my head heavy I fell over into my bed and pulled the covers round myself, only bothering to clumsily remove my shoes before shutting my eyes tight and trying to forget my thoughts. I lay there, my mind playing a reel of horrors of what could have happened to Jimmy. I pictured him beaten in a jail cell, battered to death like Meep was, or sat in despair at his own situation. I knew he couldn't have killed those women, even if he didn't, because he was here in this caravan when it happened. I knotted my fingers into my hair, reeling drunk. I was just as bad as he had been. 

I eventually passed out, but kept waking, sweaty and restless after nightmares. At one point my stomach turned and I chugged up my guts off the side of my bed. I rolled back over after that and caught half an hours rest before I woke again. The night went on like that until the sun rose and Eve came in to get me up. 

"Oh sweetheart," she muttered upon seeing my sorry state. She delicately picked her way to the bed past the vomit and brought me out of bed to go sit on the seat I had. I blubbered pathetically while she tossed a towel over my mess and brought me a glass of water. I was still slightly drunk, but tried to be as co-operative as possible. Eve sat next to me, pulling me in for a hug while I continued to feel like a maudlin burden on her. She took me over to have breakfast with the others, and I hiccuped my way through some bread and butter, as everyone threw pitiful stares my way. I began to sober up. 

"I'm sorry, Eve. I'm sorry I'm so useless."

"Don't be silly, come with me," she directed, taking my hand and leading me away from the show ground. As we walked further away I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

"It's awful nice of you to try cheer me up but I'd rather not go anywhere," I told Eve, following her through the undergrowth. We passed the spot where Ethel had ended her life, which brought back more memories of how Jimmy had been after she passed. My eyes welled, but I tried hard to keep it suppressed. I didn't want anyone to think I was being such a pathetic mess over Jimmy Darling. I didn't want to be another of the freaks that he's fucked and now loves him.

"It's Elsa who said you ought to come here," Eve explained. It was probably her plan to distract me from my wallowing, or punish me for what I did to Ima. I expected hard labour ahead of me.  We reached a small barn with the doors locked. Eve produced a key, unlocking the chains. "Now listen. Elsa says its your job to look after him," she instructed pulling the door open to let me see inside. It took me a minute to realise there was a bed, a bed and a familiar face. 

"Jimmy!" I gasped, rushing to his side. I burst into tears again, this time from pure relief. "Oh baby your hands!" 

By his side lay two bloodied stumps wrapped in bandage. His eyes filled with tears when he looked at me. 

"Princess I haven't ever seen you cry before," he told me lightheartedly, but his voice cracked and he wept. I placed my hand on his face and he leaned into my touch as I wiped his tear with my thumb. I turned back to give Eve a thank you but she had left. I turned to Jimmy. 

"I thought you were gonna be gone forever," I told him, sniffling. 

"Me too baby." I bent down and pressed my lips down against his. We shared a salty kiss. I felt him flinch hard and cut off the kiss when he lifted his arm hold me. He immediately broke down in tears again. "I'm never going to be able to hold you again," he whimpered, and I sensed that there was certainly more to it than that. It stung to see him in such a sorry state.

"Oh Jimmy don't upset yourself," I tried to comfort him. "I have to change your bandages. Okay?" He shook his head. "I let you do it for me," I reminded him.

"Well you have no fucking idea how much it hurts," he snapped. I understood his frustration, but I couldn't help but pull away, hurt. His eyes softened. "I'm sorry (y/n), I just... I just don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Hold, still." I ran my hand down his arm slowly until I reached the bandage trying to cause minimum pain. I unwrapped it slowly, Jimmy putting on a brave face. As I pulled the bloodied part away from his wound he flinched and gritted his teeth. "This is really gonna sting," I warned as I poured alcohol onto cotton to clean his injury. He bit down on his pillow and nodded for me to go ahead. I wiped it as gently as I could and tried to ignore his muffled howl. "I'm sorry." He let the pillow from his teeth.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, doll," he assured, breathless from pain. I took his stump in my hands, wrapping it in bandage.

"I tried to tell the police it wasn't you, but they wouldn't listen."

"It might have been me, I was there, I was blind drunk."

"It wasn't, Jimmy. You were in my caravan. You said you loved me."

"I do." He looked at me sincerely. I avoided his eye, focusing my attention back to binding up his arm.

"You don't Jimmy, you love Maggie, you only wanted me because you were scared she might leave you and you thought I wouldn't." I sighed. 

"That's not true, I kept coming back because I love you." Tears pricked my eyes again. He probably thought Maggie had left and was settling for me. I tied off the bandage and he raised his arm up to my face, sucking in his breath sharply as his stump brushed my cheek. "And you love me too."

"No, I don't," I lied. He watched me, his stare breaking me apart like it always had.

"Paul came by before you. I haven't seen you cry once before, (y/n), but he said you have been tearful all morning. He also told me about Ima," he teased, smugly. I didn't know it was possible to sound both so weak and so smug at the same time. 

"I was worried, it doesn't mean-" 

"Please just tell me it does. Just tell me you love me, it's all I ever wanted to hear." I let out a breath I never realised I was holding.

"I love you, Jimmy Darling." He smiled at me. I reached into my jacket pocket, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it before taking a few draws. I put it between his lips for him so he could take a puff. 

"Look at me," he complained. "Can't even hold my own cigarette."

"Hush now Jimmy. Things will take time," I reassured him, to little effect. We shared the rest of the cigarette and I moved round to change the bandage on the other side. Jimmy didn't speak until I'd finished and stood up to leave.

"Thank you, (y/n)," he said sincerely. I went back to his bedside, leaned down a pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I'll be here to change your bandages again tomorrow,"  I told him softly.

Although Elsa had not left, she had still sold the show to Chester, who although had a definite screw loose, seemed harmless enough. He was bright, chirpy and certainly not bossy. His odd qualities only came from the wooden ventriloquist doll he was so attached to. The twins seemed quite smitten with him, and, if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were screwing him. 

I was civil with Maggie after her trickery, especially knowing how difficult the world could be, but Jimmy had far from forgiven her. This was a hard situation to negotiate. She had asked about him, and I knew she cared, but Jimmy was set in his hatred of her. It was hard to sympathise with a woman who had been part in a scheme resulting in the death of Ma Petite and the loss of Jimmy's hands. For the most part I told the truth. Jimmy was not going to soften any time soon.

I apologised to Ima too, hard as it was. She didn't really take my apology, but it hardly bothered me. It was mainly for the sake of the others, and to keep the peace. 

That night, Dell was shot. He, it turned out, had been the one to kill Ma Petite. I felt bad for his death. As shitty as his actions were, I always felt he was trying his hardest for a better life. Still, killing another freak was unforgivable, and Ma Petite was innocence itself. It was my job to deliver the news to Jimmy, which was horrible.

"He was my father!" 

"I know Jimmy! I'm sorry!"

"Don't you dare start apologising for those murderers, (y/n)!"

"Jimmy he killed Ma Petite!" I ended up snapping. "He killed an innocent and he paid the price." Jimmy broke down into tears again, and I ended up wrapping my arms around him.

"I'm losing everything."

"Come on, baby. It hurts to see you cry so much," I mumbled into his neck. He sobbed into my shoulder.

"Don't ever leave me (y/n). Don't ever break my heart.”

The day Jimmy's hands were ready was the happiest I had seen him in months. I came into the barn again to see him, when I spotted him sat on the bed. The moment he saw me he stood up and rushed toward me. I opened my arms to him and he caught me in his grasp, lifting me off my toes. He kissed me, properly. His dark eyes seemed full of hope. I took his arms from around me and held one of his new hands in mine. Mr. Dolcefino had created perfect wooden hands, still with Jimmy's finger shapes. They were works of art.

"They're beautiful, baby," I told him, smiling.

"They ain't half as functional as they were, but my hands have never looked so good."

"Your hands always looked good." I kissed him again, harder this time. He pulled me flush against him.

"It kills me I can't touch you the same baby," he told me, running his wrists down my side in place of his hands.

"I don't care, Jimmy. I love you," I said, and it was the first time I'd said it since he asked me to. He pulled me in again for another kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth and pushing the backs of my knees against the bed. "Easy tiger," I teased.

"I haven't held you in so long (y/n)," he replied, pushing himself even closer to me, my body flush with his own. I felt him, hard against my thigh. I kissed him again, hard, and let him push me onto the bed, his own weight on top of mine. He began to nip at my neck, and I sighed contentedly. He went to cup my breast with his hand, but came short when he realised his hands could not move the same, could not feel. "Baby, I'm sorry," he apologised, sitting up on his knees and pulling away. I sat up with him and put my hands around his neck, fiddling with the hair at its nape.

"You aren't giving up that easy are you?" I jibed. "After all, you have a mouth in perfect working order." He grinned at me, pulling me into another hungry kiss. He nibbled down my neck again.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to undress yourself, doll." I did as instructed, pulling my jumper over my head while Jimmy watched. He returned to kissing my collarbone as I undid my bra. His kisses travelled over my breasts, wooden hand against my side. He kissed along my chest, eventually moving to take one of my nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue over it as I sighed. He bit down on it and I yelped, scolding him lightly by giving him a little slap on the arm. He grinned again at my reaction, before kissing his way down my sternum. He stopped for a second, giving me an opportunity to pull my trousers off for him. I went to pull my underwear down but he stopped me, instead using his teeth to pull them down and bringing them the rest of the way with his prosthetic. I laughed at his actions, until he buried his face into my heat, licking over my clit again and again. I felt myself get quickly wetter as he flicked his tongue up my slit. His attention went back to my clit, circling it as I dug my fingers into his hair, pulling at it and moaning as I did. I felt my cheeks flush when he came back up the bed to kiss me again, my taste still on his lips. "I'm feeling a little uncomfortable in these pants, do you think you can help doll?" he asked. I happily obliged.

"Of course baby." I pulled his shirt of his shoulders slowly, the removed his vest, taking my time to run my hands all across his chest and take it all in again. I ran my hand over his stomach and reached to palm him through his trousers. He groaned and closed his eyes. Then I took off the trousers, getting him to sit up in order to help me. I could see the shame in his eyes so as soon as they were off I kissed him hard and put my hands into his pants, stroking his cock. He let out the most delicious moan into the kiss. After a minute of this we were both desperate for it so I bit his earlobe and pulled his cock out of his pants, guiding it to the right place. He pushed into me slowly.

"Fuck," he swore, before capturing my mouth with his and thrusting again. I let out another moan into his mouth as he bit down hard on my lip. He pressed wet kisses into my neck, speeding up his thrusts with considerable lack of control. It had been a while since we had sex, so the desperation in his movements was very apparent. He let out the most beautiful gasps and moans, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers into his hair as he continued to nip and suck at my collarbone. I tugged at his brown curls and he groaned breathily. He recaptured my lips in his own and I let out a moan as he pushed deeper into me.

"Jimmy," I panted into his ear, before pulling on his earlobe with my teeth. He let out what was almost a growl and fucked me even harder. I felt myself drawing closer to finishing and let out a desperate string of swears.

“Come on, baby doll, fuckin finish for me,” Jimmy murmured deeply, kissing along my jaw and neck before biting down on my collarbone. I let out a gasp as I felt a wave of pleasure over me, clenching around him and digging my nails into his back. He kept going, his thrusts sloppy, coaxing me through my orgasm until a faltering moan fell from his lips and he pulled out, spilling his load onto my stomach. He lay on top of me, spent, and I pulled my fingers through his hair, running my nails against his scalp.

“You really love me?” I asked, as his hot breath brushed my neck. Before he answered he pressed soft kisses against my shoulder.

“Of course I do, doll face.”

[captain039]

We can take care of each other

Hank x reader x Connor

Warnings: ABO, poly relationship, swearing, police things, Intimate, sexual, harassment, Daddy Hank, anxiety, angst, domestic from cases, other criminal things

Ah when you can’t decide between daddy and baby boy 🤷🏻‍♀️

Reeds a dick

After deviant revolution

You stared at the dead body on the ground disgusted. Seems people still had it out for people.

“What we got?” You heard Hanks voice. You stood by him and Connor by you probably analysing the body.

“Dave Frank, 29, alpha male, worked at the little shop on this street called human goods” you frowned at the weird name.

“Ok” Hank took the tablet from the officer.

“Looks like he had a partner, 25 omega female Chelsey Lilac” your stomach sank a little. No matter how far in life you got, omegas will always be looked down on.

“Possible suspect?” Hank asked and the officer nodded. Hank handed you the tablet and you went through the briefing. Connor looked also as you scrolled through.

“We’ve got signs of struggle, signs of a possible fight, neighbours complain there is lots of yelling and crashing on this place” Officer Chris sighed.

“Domestic” you muttered and he nodded. You hated these cases, omegas trapped with an alpha they can’t escape from without some serious form of damage.

You hand fisted tightly, you needed air or something. You felt a hand go around yours and frowned looking to Connor. He looked at the body though and intertwined your fingers together. You clenched his hand tightly without realising finding some comfort in it.

“Stinks in here” Hank grumbled going outside. You let go of Connors hand and followed. You took a deep breath in of fresh air and sighed. You looked over the backyard, it hadn’t been taken care of in years. It smelt of rain, wet dirt and-

You frowned catching the scent of a frightened omega.

“Hank go inside” you said and he frowned.

“What? why?” The man asked.

“Just do it” you snapped and he raised his hands up and went inside.

You looked around noticing a shadow behind the large slip bin.

“Hello?” You said softly going closer.

You saw scared eyes shine in the light.

“Chelsey?” You asked and she nodded. You stood a meter away she was shaking and drenched from rain and mud.

“My names Detective Y/n” you said softly glancing to the door which Hank stood at staring at you.

“I didn’t mean too” she sobbed coming into the light.

“I-“ she stuttered as you glanced to the knife in her hand. She had blood on her, wounds on her head and arms old and new.

“Here” she handed you the knife and you stuttered.

“Y/n” Hank called you and she fled.

“He’s gonna hurt me” she whispered.

“All alphas are cruel” she added and you felt your heart clench.

“It’s alright” you said looking to Hank. You laid the weapon on the ground.

“I need you to stay there though please” you added and Hank frowned but stopped. You saw Connor come out the door also.

“Connor, stay there” you said and he frowned but stayed also.

“Two?” She whispered.

“Are you trapped?” You frowned at her questioned.

“Am I trapped?” You asked.

“Two alphas” she said.

“No, Connor isn’t an alpha, he’s-“ you couldn’t call him an android.

“He’s a deviant” you said.

“Oh” the girl muttered.

“One alpha” she added eyes darting. She was in shock, no doubt about that.

“He’s big” she said scared.

“Does he hurt you too? We can run!” She stood and grabbed you.

“No- no he doesn’t hurt me, he isn’t my alpha” you said holding the young woman’s arms.

“Doesn’t hurt you?” She said confused looking to him.

“Not yours” she mumbled.

“Chelsey I need you to come with me” you said and she tensed.

“Away from here” you added.

“Away” she repeated.

“Away” she nodded holding onto you. You tensed as she held you, she wanted comfort from another omega. She shook in your hold, both wet now from the rain, blood smeared on you also.

“Come on” you said softly leading her around the house and to a car.

“No alphas” you said as one went to get in. She nodded backing away and got a beta.

“I’ll see you at the station” you said to Chelsey and she nodded.

You sagged drained, your body was shaking from the cold, emotions haywire.

“Good job” You heard Hanks voice. You turned to him and he frowned. You wiped your eyes realising you were crying and went to his car. You and Connor had hitched a ride. You hid behind it the best you could from across the street. You took deep breaths and cursed softly.

Hank had followed you, worry in his eyes as you began to pace.

“Y/n” he called but you didn’t listen.

“Omega” you froze on the spot. Hank sighed as he stood in front of you, you stared at the ground shaking. He grabbed the back of your neck and tugged you close. You sighed leaning your head against his shoulder. He gently massaged the back of your neck while you calmed down.

“Hank?” You heard Connor call before hearing him behind you.

“Is everything alright?” He asked and you smiled faintly, he still didn’t understand humans.

“Just worked up” Hank said and you moved to rest your cheek on him instead. You wrapped your arms around him without thinking, enjoying his warmth and smell.

“Very worked up” he muttered. You felt a warm hand on your back and glanced to Connor who offered a kind smile.

“You’re freezing detective” he said softly and you nodded.

“No shit” you said softly.

“Lieutenant?” Someone called and you tensed.

“Oh-“ the officer stood a little awkward.

“Connor” Hank said and you frowned.

“I’ll be back” he said to you rather softly and you nodded. You looked to Connor after letting go, you shuddered, your teeth chattering.

“I can warm you up detective” he said and you flushed.

“I have inbuilt heaters, see?” He took your hand and rested it on his stomach. You frowned at the amount of warmth coming from him.

“Please don’t blow up” you muttered going closer.

“I can assure you I won’t” he smiled and you nodded.

“I suggest you put your arms around me detective” he said after your awkward stance.

“Oh- Connor the reason I did that to Hank-“ you trailed off embarrassed.

“He’s an alpha” Connor said and you nodded sighing.

“I’ve bonded to him in a sense so he’s my source of comfort is all, just don’t tell him that” you muttered slowly putting your arms around the android. You sighed feeling his warmth seeping through.

“I should take you everywhere” you said without thinking and rested your cheek on his chest.

“You’re so warm” you hummed contently. You tensed slightly when one hand rested on your back and the other on your neck.

“The lieutenant did this” Connor said softly as he massaged your neck lightly.

“Calms me down” you mumbled.

Your heart was pounding but you didn’t want to let go of him. To be honest you had bonded to both of them in a sense, your little family, just you couldn’t tell them. When you weren’t around them it was lonely, you felt empty almost, you had gotten use to be alone when you left home, but when you met Hank it just crumbled.

“Right-“ Hank had come back and obviously stood shocked.

“I have inbuilt heaters” Connor said simply.

“You should feel how warm he is” you said chuckling.

“Jesus” Hank muttered shaking his head.

“Come on let’s get you home” he sighed.

“What about paper work?” You let Connor go and looked to Hank.

“What about it? Do it tomorrow” he shrugged and you smiled slightly.

As you pulled up to your house you got everyone inside and out of the rain.

“Curse this weather” you said turning on your lights.

“Where’s the damn remote!” You yelled in the lounge rummaging.

“Heater on” Connor said and it turned on.

“Oh” you muttered.

“I forgot it could do that” you said.

“You want a towel?” You asked them both. Connor nodded while Hank shrugged.

You went to your cupboard and pulled out some towels. You gave the two men some and one for yourself.

“I need a warm shower and PJ’s” you said cursing sticky clothes.

“Detective?” Connor asked.

“Yeah?” You said.

“Is it alright if I stay here tonight?” He asked and you frowned. Usually he stayed with Hank.

“Yeah if you want too” you shrugged.

“You wanna sleep over too Hank?” You grinned at him and he glared.

“Fuck you” he said and you laughed.

“I need a drink” he muttered running a hand down his face. You looked a little too long, wet hair slicked back down from him pushing it out the way, clothes drenched defining his surprising body sculpture.

“There should be some in the cupboard” you said.

“It’s alright I need to change clothes” he said hanging your towel on the kitchen chair.

“Goodnight lieutenant” Connor said.

“Night” Hank waved.

You followed him out and stood under your veranda.

“You be ok with him?” Hank turned back to you.

“Connor? Yeah” you said and he nodded.

“You ok?” He added and you nodded.

“I’ll-“ you shrugged.

“Get through it” you sighed. Hank sighed like he wanted to say something, he stood a little tense before leaving to his car. Your heart sank a bit and gave a small wave before heading inside.

“I have to shower” you said looking for Connor.

“Connor?” You called hearing water running. You went to your bathroom and frowned seeing him pouring a bath.

“What are you doing?” You asked as he stood.

“Running you a bath” he said. Your heart swelled at the thought.

“I don’t normally take baths” you chuckled and he frowned.

“But I’ll jump in” you added quickly.

“I’ve noted it for next time” he nodded and you frowned next time?

“Thanks” you said again softly as it filled.

“I don’t know what clothes to give you, you could try a pair of PJ pants and top, I always buy mine too big” you said.

“I won’t intrude on your personal belongings detective” he said.

“Oh- right” you mumbled embarrassed.

“Let me get you some hang on” you walked to your bedroom. Connor followed but stayed by the door as you shifted through clothes.

“Uh try these” you said handing him a pair of plain grey PJ’s.

“You’ll need a towel” you moved passed him and grabbed a fresh towel.

“Uh, put your clothes-“ you looked around.

“In the basket” you said grabbing the washing basket.

“I’ll hang them up after my bath” you said and he nodded.

“Alright” you said.

“I’ll be ok detective” Connor smiled.

“Ok” you smiled going to the bath.

You sunk into the water and sighed the warmth soothing your muscles.

Your eyes closed as you thought back to the case, the young woman had gripped your tightly, when she asked if you were trapped, you were confused. Hank wasn’t your alpha and Connor was, well Connor. You tried not to think about it as the water started to go cold.

You drained the bath and hoped out drying yourself. You forgot to bring clothes you realised and cursed. You peeked out the door and saw Connor on the couch. You quickly snuck to your bedroom and closed your door.

You got dressed and did your hair up messily before heading back out.

“Did they fit?” You asked as he stood. You held back a laugh at how the shirt looked like a big crop top on him.

“Is something funny?” He asked confused and you laughed.

“You look like some sport obsessed teenager” you laughed.

“I’m sorry Con” you said smiling.

“I’m afraid they’re a bit small” he smiled.

“If it’s too uncomfortable take the shirt off” you spoke without thinking again.

“When I’m in bed” you added quickly as he gripped the hem. You glanced to your pull out couch, did he sleep? Power down? Something.

“Do you want a bed?” You asked.

“I don’t require a bed” he said and you frowned slightly.

“But I’d like one” he smiled.

“Alright” you chuckled shaking your head. You struggled with the pull out bed, it finally click and swung out a bit to quick.

“Fuck!” You said tensing as it unfolded itself.

“They really should put warnings on these things” you mumbled. You went to the cupboard and found some sheets and unused pillows.

You set his bed up as he watched intently.

“Right, you want a blanket?” You asked.

“Just have a blanket” you added quickly knowing he would say something like he didn’t require one but wanted one.

“What’s the time” you muttered glancing to your band.

“1 in the morning” you groaned.

“I’m going to bed, make yourself comfortable, I don’t know what you do with Hank” you said nervously chuckling.

“Thank you detective” he said sitting down.

“Y/n” you said and he frowned.

“You can call me Y/n out of work I’ve told you this” you chuckled softly.

“Well, goodnight Y/n” he said and you felt your heart skip.

“Goodnight Connor” you smiled heading to bed.

You laid awake for a while a smile on your face, Connor was adorable in things he did, still learning human emotions and how to speak like one, it was funny. You didn’t expect Hank to embrace you like that either, you melted in it though, you felt like you were in heaven despite the depressing rain and situation. His hand felt nice on your neck gently massaging, his natural scent had seeped through the alcohol and the smell of Sumo on his clothes. Connor had a fresh smell you guess, his clothes were always clean unless soaked in the rain. A neutral scent almost, it was nice for a change. Slumber eventually took you, the sound of rain lulling you to a deep sleep.

Next Chapter ->