#soap importers

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

[fidogo]

john price x reader, but accidentally running into the 141 after only going on a few dates with Price wc: 0.9K warnings: mentions of sex, age gap, daddy kink, dacryphilia, use of sweetheart + angel a/n: I make such a stupid joke in this about Ghost and Soap LMAO forgive me part 2

The pub was warm, a sweet haven from the chill outside. It was already decked out with cheap garlands and holiday lights, all hung with care. Your friends tear off to the bar to order a few drinks, leaving you to find a booth. 

You slink through the chairs and the tables, making a beeline to the one available booth. You’re about to get nice and cozy when you stop in your tracks. 

He’s here.

You didn’t know John terribly well. The two of you had only gone on a few very successful dates, but you were not close enough to know who he was sitting with.

What you did know was this:

1. John was older than you.

2. He was an absolute gentleman whenever he took you out.

3. He really liked when you called him daddy and liked fucking you until you were in tears (and after...especially after). 

Back to the three men at the table with him. Given their demeanor, it was safe to assume they were also military. One of them was maybe Gaz/Kyle...bu that was it.

Your feet move automatically. (Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you wonder if you should stop walking and go back to the booth you found. Maybe it’s too early to meet his friends.)

The men’s boisterous voices quiet as you approach, and the one with a mohawk elbows one who's masked. You ignore them, focusing on John, whose face softens a smidge (and his eyes light up).

“Hi, John.” You’re a little more nervous than you thought you would be. (He had you creaming on his cock and whining like you were in heat the other night. This should be nothing!)

“Hi, Sweetheart,” he answers, standing to kiss your cheek. “What’re you doing here?” His eyes are warm and earnest, immediately putting your anxieties to rest.

“Just getting a drink with my friends before the new year. Things are about to pick up, so we’re trying to just get a drink one last time.” John looks at you so fondly, it warms your heart. Fuck the alcohol, fuck the fire or radiator or whatever’s in here, all you need is John Price to look at you like this to make you warm and toasty. 

“Would you all want to sit with us?” He asks, knocking on the table. You glance at the table full table, trying not to laugh at his friend's expressions (shock and disbelief coupled with some respect for Price). 

Remembering his manners, John introduces you to his men and places one large, strong, hand on the small of your back.  You lean into him slightly, trying to not seem too pleased to be here with him. 

“This is Gaz, Soap, and Ghost,” John introduces. You freeze, confused for a second. You thought..... Oh. Oh.

“Oh.” You say aloud. Stupidly. John quirks a brow at you, prompting you to ramble on.

“I’m sorry. To be candid, I thought Soap and Ghost were your dogs..." you say trailing off at the end.

To be fair, he had only ever been to your place. You stare at Soap and Ghost. Based on the small amount of information you knew, you had just assumed...

John lets out a deep laugh and pulls you closer into his side. 

“What?” Soap yells. He’s no longer checking you out appreciatively and just looks at you in disbelief. “How could you think that, lassie?” 

“Well, John seems like a man who lives alone with two big dogs that have manly names.” You explain, sinking more into John’s side, trying to embed yourself into this warmth.

His thumb lightly strokes your back, sending shivers up your spine. He's so big and strong and... Your brain turns to mush for a second.

“Well, what about Gaz?” Soap gestures to said man, trying desperately to make any ground in this. Your push away your vaguely horny thoughts. You have to lock back in for Kyle's sake. You smile at Gaz and politely extend your hand. 

“No, I knew Kyle was a man. A pleasure to meet you.” Gaz shakes your hand and beams while Soap slumps over, and Ghost looks like he’s rethinking how he got here.

“Need to work on your manners. That way when Captain talks about you, people don’t think you're dogs,” Gaz says drawing out and emphasizing dogs with a cheeky smile. Soap just grumbles. 

“Anyway,” you start to say, turning your attention back to John. “My friends and I are about to take that booth back there, but thank you for the offer. But call me. Or text.” He nods and leans in to press a quick, chaste to your lips. 

“Have a good night, Sweetheart.” You nod before going to finally claim your booth. 

You hear Soap ask why John ‘calls Kyle by his name but not me or Simon’, making you smile. They seem nice.

And then you hear what you assume to be Ghost, say, “Not bad, Captain. Not bad at all.”

You preen at that, chipper mood carrying you through the night, even as your friends bombard you with questions once they’re all seated.

You wave shyly at John and his friends when they eventually file out into the cold. John sends you a wink that has you sinking into the booth. You’re so fucked. 

About 15 minutes later, your phone buzzes.

Can’t stop thinking about you, angel

Apparently, he’s fucked too.

part 2

[bitchylittlevictorianchild]

I just got out of military training for school, and let me tell you something. Just as much as COs push their companies/squads/what-have-you to their absolute limits...they also have an indomitable sense of humor that they will push onto their subordinates.

In other words, all those fics in the CoD Fandom about any character taking their anger/sadness/what-have-you out on their company by pushing them extra are true to an extent. But there is also the opposite side of that coin, which is this: COs often fuck around with their company and take out their good emotions on them. Which has the potential to be very, very funny.

Examples:

Soap: Private, when I say "Pop your shit, twin." you will drop that thang Magic Mike style, is that understood?

---

Ghost, with a thousand-yard-stare: Take this disposable plastic fork. It is now an inspectable item to be kept on your person at all times. You will give it a name starting with L.

---

Gaz, leading his company in a march: When I give the command, you will left-face and post an L at Delta Company, understood?

Price, leading Delta Company: Recruits! Right-face and flip off Bravo Company, am I clear?

---

Soap: Private? Who is the General of the sassy man apocalypse?

Recruit: Sir, Lieutenant Riley, sir!

Soap: Very well.

---

Ghost: Recruits! Do you think...that Sergeant Mactavish...is pretty?

Soap, posing like a 50s pinup: Recruits, say ooh! Say ahh!

---

Gaz: Private...you have IBS?

Recruit: Sir, I think so, sir.

Gaz, monotone: Me too. One time, I made the mistake of eating Taco Bell while inebriated. I cried on the toilet the whole night.

Price, walking the hallway behind him, trying not to laugh: LOCK IT UP!!

Gaz: From now on, your nickname will be Private Midshitman.

---

Ghost, yelling a jodie: Now, from the top!

Recruits, responding: Make it drop!

Ghost: That's a-?

Recruits: WAP!

Ghost: THAT'S A-?

Recruits: WAP!

--

Gaz, too tired to PT: Recruits, fall out on my command, and griddy into the barracks.

[swordsandholly]

Thinking about hypersexual Simon Riley and aromantic reader. He doesn’t have time to date with his job, or the patience to find new hookups all the time. Dating apps are the bane of his existence. If he’s honest with himself, despite his wants, he doesn’t enjoy unfamiliarity. He doesn’t like having to explain himself over and over to people who often don’t understand (or care).

Instead he finds you, a pretty little thing that moves into the flat next door. You don’t demand commitment, or that he opens up more than he likes. You’re easy, kind, soft under his hands. You offer companionship when he needs, make conversation without expecting more than he’s able to give right now.

You’re in much the same position. Despite how men often say they want to hookup without any strings beyond maybe a casual friendship (if that), as soon as you’re the one to set that boundary they start whining. Can’t handle the idea that you don’t want them in every way possible. Can’t stand losing out on that control over the women they’re with. In your experience, at least.

You dread the day he inevitably finds someone. He’ll leave you behind, of course, and it’s not that you’d hold it against him. Simon deserves love like no one you’ve ever met. That impending day has become a little more real since he’s been talking about this “Johnny” from his work, though.

Obviously partially inspired by Service Dog Johnny by @void-my-warranty and a little bit by Harmless Fun from @rememberwren (if you haven’t read their stuff please please please do, they’re both incredible)

Update: I started it (LINK)

[gomzdrawfr]

Importance

[felixeis003]

Good Luck Kiss ;))

[eleu22]

Task Force 141’s go to Tesco Meal Deals

the tescos outside my uni is never fucking stocked i want the sandwich on ghosts so bad but that shit is always gone

John Price

- gets water as his drink (criminal)

- gets the mixed nuts as his snack (criminal)

- he’s smart tho he always gets the boujie water because the meal deal price is set

- the wrap is valid

- usually will also grab another snack bc this isn’t enough maybe like a bag of dried mango or some shit (old)

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

- my headcanon continues to live

- the healthy energy shit tastes like ass but he pretends its good

- does not usually shop at tesco, he’s a waitrose boy

- sometimes indulges in the odd crunchie bar but rarely

John “Soap” Mactavish

- horrifying (i love pepperami sm everyone disses me for it bc i pull that shit out in lesson and it stanks)

- protein to the max ig

- the whole meal fucking stinks

- uses gaz’s club card because he’s too lazy to get his own

Simon “Ghost” Riley

- absolutely classic

- everytime he gets it mentions how cost of living prices have made them more expensive

- grenade bars are disgusting but he loves them for some reason (masochism imo)

- the sandwich is the best one they have bc the bread is always so moist its so fucking good

- the monster bc yall saw the ghost monster can we all know

[brewed-pangolin]

In the mess hall:

Laswell: Choose your best sex song.

Price: 'Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe' by Barry White.

Gaz: 'Mr. Bombastic' by Shaggy.

Ghost: 'Yellow' by Coldplay.

Soap: '1812 Overture' by Tchaikovsky.

Price/Gaz/Ghost in unison: What?

Soap: What? The first fifteen minutes are all foreplay. That's the most important part.

[waverlyyhaught]

Favorite Marta and Fina Moments - Part 105 Sueños de Libertad, Ep. 203

[morimementa]

For your consideration: Autistic Soap with echolalia. Ghost immediately clocks it for what it is because they're Autism4Autism, but it takes the rest of the 141 a while to catch on. For the most part it doesn't bother anyone but one day Price goes off on him for imitating the sound of a helicopter overhead because he's got a migraine and everything is Too Much Noise.

Soap immediately slumps in his seat, whispers an apology and hurries out of the rec room. Ghost follows and finds him in his room having a panic attack. Turns out Soap's parents had their own ideas for how they could turn their son "normal", including getting physical when he talked too much. Ghost find that relatable in the worst way. He also realizes that Soap is as outgoing as he is because he feels safe with them.

After giving Soap some deep pressure hugs to soothe away the panic attack and making sure he's ok by himself, he goes back to Price with some water and Advil. Price has started to calm down at this point but he's still brain hurty. Ghost waits until the migraine's passed before filling him in.

Price felt like slapping his forehead. Soap's file had mentioned the autism, but he hadn't realized echolalia was part of the package. When Soap comes in to apologize later, Price beats him to it.

They work out a system where Price can non-verbally convey when he needs quiet and everyone is a little more content after that.

[forestshadow-wolf]

His leg buckled, and the ground met him hard at the knees, but he didn't feel it. Couldn't feel it. Couldn't feel anything but fucking agony.

Ghost was dying; he could feel it in his heart. Literally. He could feel the soulbond unraveling. Out and away and away and away. Like plucking a live chicken, except he was the bird not the butcher. It was an anguish all too familiar. Only last time was like ripping his flesh open with rose thorns over and over again to pain the petals red, and this time felt like stitching open a wound to leave it weeping blood and guts and fluids and infection. This time it felt like festering evil.

"WHERE IS HE!" He roared, snapping at the hands on him, grabbing at others to haul himself to his feet again. His knee went weak again, but he would not let his limbs fail him. Fail Ghost. "GET OFF ME!" He did not wipe out an entire enemy outpost, only to be stopped by his own allies, while the very thing keeping him alive dies.

Some barking command that he didn't hear from outside his tunnel of vision had the burning touches release him. He obeyed a command that he didn't discern out of forced submission. The rabid thing rearing it's ugly face recognizing authority in the face of anger.

He wasn't sane as he stalked through the halls, following a faceless form he knew but didn't recognize. It's didn't matter. Nothing much but the decade old pain twisting where his heart should be mattered. None of it mattered because Ghost was dying.

He was dying while he loved.

Because some unlucky tosser touched what was his, and now Ghost was dying with fire as blood, as he unraveled Soap's heart. And Soap could feel every bit of it. The pain and agony of losing a soulbond. Again.

He knew the fire burning Ghost alive. I made the vial in his possession feel that much heavier. He carried the world in his pocket. It was smaller than his littlest finger, and it fit in his hand like he was meant to crush it. And it would save his life.

It would save Ghost's life.

He doesn't remember the walk to bring him to Ghost. Only flashes of anger where he snapped at too many hands.

But then he's there. Surrounded by white walls, and a white cot. Staring at a bloodied man in a dirty kit and black mask. Untouched on the command of an even less sane, more rabid him, only 27 hours ago.

He doesn't know who came and who left. Only remembers him, and his body, and the little glass vial, and Ghost. He remembers the chilled, damp skin when he pulled fabric back to reveal too pale skin underneath. He remembers how the needle went in easily. He doesn't move after that. Someone takes the needle from him. He felt it. Didn't see it. Saw only Ghost.

He just. Stood there. Watching. But not looking. Not seeing. He couldn't think. Couldn't move. Didn't dare hope. Couldn't pray. Couldn't beg. Pure catatonia. Nobody moved him. Nobody touched him. He heard people talking. Maybe to him. Maybe not. He doesn't know.

He doesn't remember how long it was. Maybe that night. Maybe that day too. But he remembers what brought him back.

He remembers the chest rhythm change. Something not just a natural sigh. Something deeper. Rousing. And the way Ghost's eyes flicked behind his eyelids for what felt like hours before they opened. Ghost was awake. He was alive.

And it's only then that he realizes that the agony had drained from his veins. The thread around his heart rewound. And it's then that exertion takes him. He falls to his knees hard. Ghost is quick on the call button with panic. But Soap doesn't make it 'til a nurse rushes in before black invades the rest of his vision like a shot to the skull

It couldn't have been more than half a minute before he comes too. It's bright, and there are hands touching him and voices speaking over his head and it's all too much.

"Where is he?" He swats at the abrasive touches, "Ghost. He's awake." Everything hurts. His muscles, his bones, even his teeth. But it's of small importance.

"Easy, Sunshine." A gruff voice pulls everything back into perspective. Price. Crouched at his thigh with a worried look on his face. Soap presses himself up despite protests from the nurses. "He's fine, lad." Price cups the back of his neck, "you made it in time. You saved him." He says it like a prayer. Like he knows it's the only thing that'll keep the rabid thing leashed. And he might be right.

[ghcstao3]

ghost and soap have both come up with the most obnoxious, atrocious voices whenever mocking one another

ghost does this awful, high-pitched, totally bastardized scottish accent to imitate soap, absolutely butchering any slang and making up nonsense otherwise claiming it makes no difference, soap is just as unintelligible as is

soap, on the other hand, deepens his voice a stupid amount, over-annunciating words, always throwing in comments about tea and the monarchy even if it has nothing to do with what he’s making fun of

they’ll both pretend to get pissy about each other’s mockeries, bur really, they love it. it’s too much fun to truly get offended by, and it’s even more entertaining when it annoys a third party

[konigsblog]

Orlaaa I can't send videos but there's this clip of a Scottish kid who's like 3 and she got her nails done and her accent is so cuteee😭 "look, I got my toes done and my naaels" I WAS MELTINGGG imagine having kids with Johnny and they got their daddy's accent🤧

HAH, i'm assuming you're talking about this video? it's adorable, and it's totally something johnny's kid would do. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

johnny is the perfect father, he's an active father despite being deployed often and is always there for her. he spends so much time with his daughter while on leave, usually out at the beach or perhaps even at the park with his toddler daughter. most kids don't have a thick and noticeable accent like his daughter, and it makes her stand out from the crowd, brightening peoples days with her laughter. god, people can't help themselves from melting and laughing at her cute, scottish accent. it's not often you see a proper scottish baby.

you absolutely love to send johnny videos of his daughter while he's on deployment, whether you're her mother or not, or even just a babysitter for her. johnny adores waking up everyday to a new video along with a somewhat coherent and loving message from his beloved sweetheart in scotland, in her princess dress, or even a photo of her new drawing of her and her daddy.

he can't help but laugh uncontrollably at the videos that you send him. it pulls at his heartstrings and he can't wait to have her back in his strong arms once again, cradling her and keeping her safe until she's fast asleep with the sound of her heartbeat and shallow breathing loud enough for johnny to listen to while he's attempting to catch some rest after months without his favourite girl.

he can't help himself from showing the rest of his trusted team these videos, especially price, who kills himself laughing at johnny's sweet daughter. johny watches them whenever he can, replaying them constantly and trying to arrange a time where he's able to call you and speak with his daughter while on deployment, more preferably through facetime so he can admire the glittery makeup and fancy face paint all over her adorable little face.

[bowenoke]

edit: btw it is not safe to wear contacts in the shower! the option is included for accuracy, but please consider throwing on an old pair of glasses or just going blind into that wet box instead.

[wishfuldivine]

Kyle making breakfast for the 141 as he listened to music and they sat at the kitchen table watching on.

John would sit and stare, a warm smile gracing his lips at each hum and bob of his sergeant's head. It was quite adorable in a sense. It was a very rare sight to see him like this.

Johnny would grin like an idiot. His eyes trained on the way Kyle moved his hips slightly. It was subtle, but there. His eyes held unconditional love for the fellow sergeant.

Simon would lean back against the wall with his arms crossed. Watching Kyle cook with such soft eyes that he only reserved for them. It was no brainer that he had a soft spot for the youngest of the team.

They were utterly in love with this adorable man.

[yi3248]

ive already lived my life without you (is it okay to want you?)

the ghoap animatic that has occasionally haunted my files is finally done!!! (albeit with choppy timing lmao)