#so. yeah anyway we’ll see idk why I’m talking to myself here

[seilon]

still don’t really know if I’ll return to Art School after this gap semester but. guess im back in norcal for now. ah how ive missed Living Near Things

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

Send this to a stay! Have them describe themselves and see who their followers would “Ship” them with in the group! <3

oh gosh, “ship” me with? i’m curious because i honestly can’t ship myself with any of them. 😅 i am in no way good enough for a ship with them. but this could be a fun way to tell yall more about me. :)

(update after writing: this turned rambley and is probably waaay more than you wanted. im so sorry 😬 also, this is the most i’ve ever said about myself on this app and it’s scary. so be nice to me pls, im fragile)

let’s see.. are we doing physical or personality traits? or both? this is hard! 😭

��� i’m a shy, quiet person. i’m also very anxious. (diagnosed anxiety/depression, unmedicated {hence my unhinged posts on here sometimes}, i’m working on it. lol)

♡ chronically online (tiktok, tumblr, yt)

♡ i like all kinds of music (favorites are skz, ateez, palaye royale)

♡ i love to watch movies (marvel, ghibli, harry potter, etc. but 80s movies are my favorite) even better if we’re seeing it in theaters with popcorn and candy 😋

♡ i like to read- tho i haven’t done it in awhile apart from this app

♡ i like to write (would love to write a book one day but we’ll see lol)

♡ i would much rather stay inside and watch a movie or a kdrama (currently watching Lovely Runner and it’s wrecking me) as opposed to going out. (the anxiety, yk?)

♡ i like video games even tho i suck

♡ i like cars (mainly drift cars)

♡ i’m an aquarius if that means anything to you, i don’t know much about astrology but i find it fascinating.

♡ i’m an only child with daddy issues (hence the chan bias)

♡ i have a cat

♡ my favorite color is black, or pink, or light blue hehe

♡ i have to have my cow squishmallow named Connor to be able to sleep at night

♡ i like to play D&D with my friends on saturday nights

♡ i’m terrified of severe weather- thunderstorms i can handle, tho i get scared. but tornadoes will send me into a full on panic attack

♡ i was born in ‘95 (i’m gonna be 30 in january and i don’t want to talk about it)

♡ i rely too heavily on comfort audios on yt (aka boyfriend audios- tho i hate that term) is it cringe? yeah kinda, but it makes me happy and it helps me sleep and the asmr tickles my brain good (if you really wanna know, idk why you would, but david from audiogasm is my favorite and pretty much the only one i listen to- hello parasocial relationship)

♡ blonde hair, blue eyes, chubby. 😘

and i can’t think of anything else! which is probably a good thing because i already wrote soo much. anyways, who would you “ship” me with? 😂 (pls say chan or ill cry hehe jk)

[ofmermaidstories]

merms i wanna SCREAM now that the shoto fic is finally here!!!!! but i am also sad that it is the last installment of the series :((((

but anyways knowing you it will always be kept alive somehow, and i'm getting sappy and emotional bc it's been Four Years (4!!! what a big number!! that's a whole CHILD) since i started reading your stories and i'm just so grateful that i found you when i did!! a whole treasure trove of stories about the characters i so wholeheartedly adore.

thank you once again for being the amazing writer and person that u are!! i'm a firm believer that one's character really comes out in their writing (being an english major, it's hard to miss) and i can see how that is expressed in yours, with how careful and thoughtful and beautifully you write your stories. i hope you know that you're one of my most favourite writers ever!!!! and i'll probably never forget you in my life!!!! thank you for bringing so much color into my days <3333

four years!! oh my god. that’s like… full-sentences-whole-child old. we need a cake next year for number five. 🥹 idk hansy i’m like, kinda sad—a lot of what kept holding me back from finishing the first chapter was like, the sudden realisation that this was the beginning of the end LMFAOOOO—but i’ve been trying to keep in mind anon who slipped into the inbox and was like, [let’s] be excited before [we] get sad. because it’s true!! we’re at the beginning of the end—but it’s still the beginning!!! 🏞️✨ and if it’s any consolation, realistically it’ll take me like at least a year to finish this fic, lmfao, and i also wanna do my surrender one-shot collection this love (is ours), which is what i think of as the trilogy’s true ending (the epilogue is set a few years after shouto’s fic finishes), so we’re on the ride a little longer. 🥹 you’ll have to put up with me for a while yet.

idkidkdidkdidididkdddkkkdk hansy. earlier this year i kinda went through a bout of like, that preemptive grief where i just kinda came face-to-face with the fact that yeah, for the past four years this has been The Hobby, you know? like. this has been what i do for fun. and that’s a (relatively) long time and a lot of energy to spend on one thing, and it threw me into this period where i felt really isolated!! i felt silly, like, oh mermie it’s just a couple of fanfics, why are they making you sad you silly girl—and i desperately wanted reassurance that like, it was a normal part of an intensive creative process. and quite frankly i couldn’t find it LOL, i would trawl through the AO3 and fanfic sub reddits and like, try and find people who’d finished or were close to finishing long-standing series or whatever, but if i did find a couple of relevant posts they were years old, and mostly just celebratory (“I just finished my 1,000,000,000 word-long series!”). and then that fed into the, oh my god no one else is talking about this, i’ve taken too long to get to this point and now i’ve emotionally stunted myself this is terrible everything is terrible oh my god etc etc LOL. but!!! i mean, sometimes the best thing for those kinda wobbles is to just start regardless, right? get up and stumble on. 💀 PLUS the biggest thing, actually, was that i like actively reminded myself that no matter how daunting or bittersweet it was to reach the end, i wanted the satisfaction of getting us there. getting to the end of the shouto fic is getting to grab hold of that trophy……. and then we’ll get back in the car and do a victory lap with the last two one-shots in this love LOL. 🍾🏆🎊🏁

anywaysss, enough dumping LOL. hansy we have been in this together for four years. 🥹 and part of what’s gotten us this far along is the nice things you always find to say. 🥺 the race ain’t over yet but once we’ve swept up all the confetti and someone’s cleared away the champagne bottles i want you to know that i’ll remember you as apart of it, for as long as that’s a thing for me to hold. 🥹🌷

[catzz-z]

i NEED him

Ghost x male reader

Smut

Female aligned dni <3

Anyways hi guys thx for the likes on my other post I’ve been to embarrassed to actually re read it myself so it means a lot that you guys actually like the story I made I feel like the other one was to bleh so I’m trying to make this story longer and more slow burn ig idk if you have any advice or opinions that would be greatly appreciated anyways on with the story and I know it’s not November but just act like it is cause I just had this idea today c/n = code name

Me and soap were talking about nnn making jokes and what not, then soap had the idea to make a bet “whoever fails this month has to pay the other 50 bucks” “bold of you to assume I’d fail Soap Mactavish” “ We’ll see about that y/n”. ghost walks in and at this point me and soap are still joking around about the bet and saying who’s going to win or whatever. I’d describe ghost as a person who would immediately shut down me and soaps stupid talk but it seemed like today was different instead he asked us what we were talking about me and soap looked at each other and bursted out laughing.

Ghost looked at us confused to say the least “It’s nothing me and soap were just making a stupid bet” ghost sounded intrigued “what was the bet about?” Soap spoke up “ whoever fails this month at nnn has to pay the other 50 dollars but obviously I’ll be the winner” I hit soap on his arm “yeah right loser I’ll be the one to win” me and soap shared a laugh and the bet was set into motion.

Week 1

While me and soap were sitting down on the couch watching some bad rom-com movie ghost walked into the room he said something about going out for the day I didn’t pay attention to him because unfortunately even if the movie was terrible it had me hooked but for some odd reason I felt eyes burning into the back of my head but whatever must’ve been my imagination. Soap spoke up “ Ghost was staring you down like no tomorrow what did you do to him” “me?! I didn’t do anything what did you do to him?” “ yeah whatever you say y/n”

Week 2

Jesus. This was going to be harder than I first thought I never realized how many things that ghost did that got me worked up his stupid jokes how he looks at me with his eyes his voice sounding angelic and made just for me but there was no way I’d lose a bet I’m not about to lose 50 dollars just because I can’t restrain myself I’ll just try to distract myself. I felt Someone tap on my shoulder I whipped around only to be face to face with ghost “what are you doing here c/n?” “Jesus you scared me- uh nothing I was just scouting out the area” ghost looked at me skeptical “ ok just get back to your original post and don’t leave without alerting someone it could’ve been dangerous” “don’t worry about litte ol me ghost you know I can handle myself” ghost stayed silent and walked away I just pray he didn’t hear me silently screaming after he left the grip he has on me dear lord I start heading back to my original post oh well I think to myself just need to push through.

Week 3

Holy I feel like my whole body is on fire. Today is an off day so everyone does there own individual thing but today was just not my day soap suggested we all played spin the bottle at first I thought sure why not I’m bored so maybe this will pass the time but now here I am stuck in a closet with ghost for the next 7 minutes I just thank whatever god was watching me because I knew I looked like a tomato right about now. I could feel his body pressing up against mine and I swear I was getting hotter by the second and I guess it showed because ghost spoke up “Jesus love you’re burning up the room calm down will you?” Oh.my.god I think to myself did he just say what I think he said I feel like I’m about to die “y-yeah sorry about that” “loosen up a litte won’t you?” I felt him tilt my chin up and lean in closer for a kiss “oh my ghosh” I thought to myself “is this really happening?” But finally I felt our lips connect and it felt amazing his rough hands pulling me closer and grabbing my waist his lips felt surprisingly soft for a guy who seems so rough I could smell his cologne and when he bit my bottom lip for entrance I couldn’t resist we started exploring each other mouths trying to fight over who’d be the dominant one but unfortunately for me he won I slowly moaned into the kiss and felt him smirk against my lips when we parted I felt like I was drunk off of him I needed him but I can’t loose that bet but dear lord he started going in for a kiss again but this time going lower and giving me hickies anywhere he could give me I felt his lust radiating off of him I couldn’t take it anymore I needed him whatever I can loose some stupid bet I just need him he started to unbuckle my pants when we heard the door opening I quickly fixed my self up and ghost scowled and whispered “ next time love” when soap opened up the door he let out a howl of laughter “ Look at you two huh? Your face is a little red there y/n” “Eat a dick soap” I decided that, that was enough spin the bottle for me so I went back into my room not realizing that ghost was staring me down with nothing but lust and love behind his eyes.

Week 4

After the fiasco of spin the bottle I couldn’t look ghost in the eye I felt so embarrassed every-time he looked at me but oh my he’s so hot whatever I just need to focus on the task at hand which was scouting out the area with soap I stepped in the room first signaling that it was safe for soap to come in afterwards he spoke to me “ so what was all that back at spin the bottle” I froze “none of your business soap shut up” he chuckled “oh? Are you sure about that because to me it seems like you’re getting a litte to worked up over it” I sighed “whatever soap just shut up” “whatever you say y/n just remember who’s going to be gaining 50 dollars on December 1st” “yeah as if you’d win soap now be quiet I hear someone”. After the mission I plopped myself down on the couch and just started thinking about the whole spin the bottle situation I mean I don’t know did ghost even mean it? Maybe he did I mean I’m pretty sure he meant it. I mean if he didn’t then why would he have told me next time love remembering his voice gave me butterflies in my stomach the things he could do to me with just his voice he’s just so hot. I heard someone walk in it was ghost “ You look like a mess.” I sighed “I was just about to leave ” god it was so awkward maybe he didn’t mean to kiss me whatever I’m just going to leave. Before I was even able to get up from the couch ghost pinned me down “Where do you think you’re going?” My breath hitched I couldn’t speak “come on now love don’t you want to continue what we started?” He started to unbuckle my pants and take off my shirt “look at how beautiful you look under me” I looked away embarrassed “oh come on now love don’t look away” he started to take off his clothing and lower himself onto me he propped me up so I was straddling his thighs I felt his bulge push against mine and i tried shifting to get some type of pleasure but his hands came down to hold my waist he chuckled “Eager now are we?” He flipped me over so I was on my back he slowly reached down to take of my boxers my cock sprung up already leaking with pre-cum “have you ever done this before?” I shook my head no “use your words darling” my breath stopped at the new nickname “ n-no I haven’t” slight whimpers falling from my mouth he chuckled darkly “ well just keep on making those noises for me love” he spat on his finger about to push in when we heard someone coming I shot up and scrambled to get my clothes on before throwing ghost clothes at his face “Sorry ghost maybe next time” and i ran off into the bathroom to fix myself up when I got out of the bathroom ghost was on the couch with soap talking about whatever I decided that I needed some fresh air so I stepped out once I went back inside it was only soap on the couch now I asked him where ghost went but he said he kind of just got up and left oh well I thought and sat down with soap.

Week 5

Finally my last week after this week I would just need two more days so that this challenge can be done soap hasn’t given up yet but neither have I. Today was supposed to be somewhat normal it was just me and ghost at the base but hey whatever right? Wrong whenever I tried to mind my own business I felt him staring me down from across the room I swear I felt chills on my neck so I decided that enough was enough and went up to him “hey I was planning to try and cook with whatever we have around here if you’d like you can eat with me” this was so awkward I think to myself “ yeah sure I’ll eat with you” well hey that went easier than expected now it’s just time to make some food. (Make whatever food you want) after preparing my meal and letting it cook off for a litte i called out to ghost “ hey.. uh I finished cooking if you want any” I set the table for me and me only I truly wasn’t really expecting him to show up to eat even if we were in the same area but to my surprise he actually came so I took up another play and served him. While we were eating no one dared to say anything until he finally broke the ice “Y/n we need to talk” my breathing started slow increasing “About what?” “About what’s been happening between us” “oh.. that yeah man don’t worry about it I won’t tell anyone” he looked like he was about to say something but stopped I felt like I could cut the tension with a knife. But Jesus I couldn’t stop sneaking looks at him he’s just so beautiful I love how muscular his arms feel not that I’m not fit myself but he makes me feel so safe ever since the spin the bottle incident I can’t look at him the same I mean not like I ever did just see him as a friend but still his beautiful eyes looking into mine how I feel like I get intoxicated off of him. His soft and rough arms grabbing me and pulling me closer to hold and kiss Jesus the things I would do for him. I didn’t realize I had been staring at him for like a minute now until he called my name “hey y/n you look kind of dazed there you alright?” “Oh yeah sorry I’m fine I’ll clean up don’t worry I just need to use the bathroom.” I quickly ran to the bathroom fuck I thought to myself I can’t do it anymore the way he’s been looking at me and how we’ve been so close but yet so far I can’t do it I don’t care if I lose some stupid bet I can’t handle it anymore I unbuckled my pants and pulled down my boxers.

Change of POV

Fuck. Ghost thought to himself he couldn’t even get his feelings out to y/n he felt stupid he started to clean up after himself until he heard a gasp in the bathroom he went down the hall to check up on y/n

Back to original POV

I can’t even think right now he’s so beautiful and perfect I can’t do it my body gets so hot and worked up whenever I think of him I can’t do it I heard the door open and and looked up to only find ghost staring at me. Hiccups falling out of my mouth I need him “ p-please help me” he quickly came in and shut the door he quickly grabbed my hands “ No. I’ve been waiting for this all day love just thinking about you being underneath me moaning and cumming just for me” I quickly nodded tears still falling from my eyes I need him now I can’t take it anymore he picked me up and carried me to his room he set me down on his bed and started to undress I felt his eyes on me and looked away “come on now darling you look so beautiful underneath me waiting patiently” I can’t look at him I’m too embarrassed my head still tucked away into my arm he started to kiss and nip at my neck until he hit a certain spot I let out an embarrassing loud moan he started to abuse that spot on my neck until it turned purple I was out of breath by the time he was done “ what’s the matter love? Getting all worked up over a litte kiss?” He looked down and noticed my cock dripping with pre-cum he started to wrap his fingers around my cock slowly jerking me off “please go faster” he chuckled at started to go faster I moaned and arched my back my eyes rolling into the back of my head but before I could arrive he suddenly stopped I whined “I want you to cum when I’m inside you” I let out a whine “please just please I need you please” when I spoke that seems to set off a switch in ghosts head “repeat yourself for me?” I looked away embarrassed “come on now love why don’t you tell me how desperate you are for me huh?” I tried to grind onto his hips but he grabbed my waist to keep me still “repeat what you said go on I want to hear you say it” he was looking at me I can feel it “please I need you Simon” he chuckled darkly “whatever you say darling” he pushed me onto my back and aligned himself with my hole “this may sting a little but you’ll get used to it” he pushed himself in he was right it hurt a little but I got used to it he slowly started thrusting into me trying to find my g-spot I couldn’t even pay attention to what he was saying at this point my brain had turned to mush he was so beautiful. He suddenly hit a certain spot that made me arch my back he laughed “found it” I couldn’t process what was happening I just felt good “mmh more please right there” he continued to thrust into me hitting that certain spot over and over again I started to bite at his neck “Please please please” I didn’t even know what I was begging for at this point but he seemed to know what I was begging for he took one of his hands off my waist and started to stroke me I arched my back and started to rut into his hand “Go on cum on me you’ve been so good for me” I couldn’t take it anymore his eyes staring into mine how his voice made me feel butterflies in my stomach I couldn’t take it tears started rolling down my eyes he was making me feel so good he chuckled “cum for me darling” that was what pushed me over the edge it felt like my vision was going white it felt blissful I continued to rut into his hand until I rode out my high but he wasn’t done he continued thrusting into me losing his pace and grunting “ you look so beautiful for me right now my beautiful boy” he buried his hips into me and came he sloppily thrusted in and out riding out his high before finally pulling out “you did so good for me love” I was slowly falling asleep and finally closed my eyes when I woke up I was in ghost room I groggily got up trying to remember what happened last night ghost walked in “your awake I made some food I’ll be back” I went I to the kitchen in one of ghost sweat shirts and sweatpants only to find ghost chuckling at me “Shut it soap I’ll pay you just lay off” while I walked back to ghost room I could hear soap laughing his ass off whatever I thought to myself it’s just some stupid bet.

The end

Hi this has been marinating in my drafts for awhile lol but uh any advice on this or my other story are appreciated and again sorry I don’t really know ghost character I just think he’s hot but I hope you guys enjoyed and see you when I decide to post again

[embe95]

Saturday

Synopsis: Mac's a good guy, okay? Well, I mean, he's the only one who cares about me... right? But then along comes Felix, who just changes everything.

Felix, again... He's just lovely to write for, idk man. This took waaaaay longer than I thought it would. And it is LONG. 6,800 words, jeepers.

Warnings: emotionally abusive relationship (reader has a toxic ex), cursing, talk of sex (not explicit) but yeah, here we are

Late again! Fuck… fuck Y/N, you can’t keep doing this!

I cover my face with a pillow, groan and stagger up quickly even though my body begs me to catch up on my sleep some more. Late… I’m late. Again. Minho is going to slice my head clean off.

Where- oh right, there…

”Y/N?” I hear his groggy voice from the messy bed. It’s covered with regret from corner to corner.

Fuck. Not again.

”Mac! You’re up!” I turn, grinning with panic, arms still flailing around to try and grab my clothes.

Mac leans up on his elbows, toned biceps flexing, hair a mess, and so it all comes back to me.

I’m at his house again. Why, why, why do I keep doing this?

I pull on my sweats, grateful that some part of me must have considered the fact that I have practice today.

This is not at all surprising. I came here after an anxiety attack and we had sex. Disappointing, yes, both as a decision and as an activity, but not surprising.

”You have practice again?” Mac’s voice sounds like a chain saw, but his tone is nonchalant. He’s gonna ask when he can see me next. I’m already bugged by the question.

”Mhmm… yeah.”

Where is the damn- oh yeah, there.

I pull my shirt on.

”When can we meet up?”

”Mac, listen, this was fun, but I don’t think-”

”Yeah, yeah, just stop. You say the same shit every time. Just face it, it’s not like you’re gonna find someone better. What we have is fine.”

”What we ha- You know what? Not now. I’m late. We’ll talk later.”

Mac’s reply ”see you tonight” rings in my ears as a disheartening taunt, a threat, a promise and, unfortunately, most likely a fact.

The city streets are filled with people who just can’t seem to understand that they are in my way and not moving quickly enough. The ride on the bus takes longer than it usually does. Seoul flies by, colours, sounds, smells all mixing together. What if I don't see Mac tonight? What if I do? Will he be angry if I'm alone? If I decide to be by myself will I end up going back anyway?

My body is tense and I check the time every few seconds, half waiting and half dreading the famous message I’m about to receive.

| What degree would you like me to set the air fryer to?

Actually, no. That one would be Minho when he’s not in his all-consuming choreographer mode, but when I’m just late for a coffee date etc. Nah, the text I’m about to get is from the team.

*Ping*

Called. It.

| Jinnie: What temp should Min set the air fryer to?

| Felix: I’ve hidden it, don’t worry

They’re hilarious.

| Y/N: eta 3 min

I’m usually late when I sleep over at Mac’s. It feels like a cycle, an unhealthy one at that. Are cycles ever positive? I digress.

We officially broke up over three months ago. Why did we do that again? Did we ever really? Bitch, please. I’m the one who called it off because I felt like there was a rhino sitting on my chest whenever we were together. But then… I don’t know. The rhino became a constant presence, and without another body close to mine it wiggles and jumps and dances. Sex is a distraction. But it’s never quite what I need. Maybe I'm the problem? Maybe I'm too much in my head? Maybe I'm bad at it? It’s more of a sport, really. At least dancing makes me sweaty and satisfied. 

Speaking of.

After what seems like 3 hours to me, the packed bus finally glides to my stop and I squeeze myself out from between two suits smelling of expensive Sauvage. The perfume stays with me as I speed to the studio on the 10th floor.

Almost there. Already sweaty.

I toss my bag and jacket, bow as deep as I can without falling over and join the warm up.

The next half an hour is grueling.

”Hey you,” Felix sighs as he slumps down next to me. He’s panting nearly as hard as me.

Thank goodness it’s not just me being out of shape, Minho is really working us today.

I wish I was focusing on him, his freckles and that incredible blonde hair that’s sticking to his forehead and neck. Instead I’m stuck staring at the luminescent rectangle in my hand, at the text underneath a number that should’ve been deleted long ago.

| Can you grab some toilet paper on your way over?

”You alright?”

”Yeah, I’m fine,” I sigh and discard the phone back into my bag. Airplane mode on, obviously, no phones during practice.

Felix stays quiet, fiddling with the strings on his hoodie.

”What’s up with Hyung today?”

”Right?” I leap at the opportunity to distract myself from the message I just received, but its effect on my mood is evident.

But Felix is his gentle self and doesn’t push it. He knows it’s not the time or place. He knows I don’t much care for talking in general.

”Break’s over! C’mon!”

We’ve been a dance team for a while, me, Felix, Hyunjin, Jisung and Elle. Three months to be exact. Minho focuses on the choreos but sometimes the formations he comes up with require pairings, and so he hops back in to where he originally began; dancing with his friends. I met them all during Minho’s classes, Hyunjin first at contemporary, Elle and Felix in street styles.

When my dear friend opened his dance school a few years back I attended it as more of a ”supportive friend” sort of thing, but ended up loving it so much there was nothing to do but become a standard fixture in Minho’s classes.

Then one September evening after a particularly sweaty contemporary class Min asked if I’d have the guts to try out for a team he was putting together. I almost started crying because of how touched I was that he wanted me to join so desperately.

It felt like magic, the way we all just clicked. We have ambition, Minho’s choreographies and just a shit-load of fun together. I didn’t even completely comprehend how far Minho’s reputation had spread before I found out that Felix had flown all the way from Australia just to attend his workshop. And now, here he is, next to me, practicing the most difficult combo I’ve ever witnessed Minho do.

I have the best time with all of them, no matter what we do. But Felix… he’s so kind and bright and pure like a fresh summer breeze. While my humor is more on the dark side (thank you, Min), we get along much better than I dared hope. My only ”problem” is that he never seems to be in a bad mood, and I don’t trust people without a dark side. He’s competitive, absolutely, and gets a little frustrated when he doesn’t learn a choreography as fast as he’d like. But according to him, when I compared his outbursts in those situations to mine or Elle’s, he just shrugged and smiled, stating that he’s a slow learner and that’s okay.

What gets him mad? What shakes him up? What makes those dark eyes darker? Maybe I'll find out some day.

”Min, one more time, please?” Elle pleads, eyes big, chest heaving, t-shirt soaked.

We four hum in agreement.

Practice runs until three pm. as agreed and I realize the rest of my Saturday is free.

Well, I mean… Mac is waiting for the toilet paper.

Minho startles me as his strong hands land on my shoulders.

"YA!" I snap and flip around.

His forehead is coated with sweat, hair sticking to it like running ink. My face expresses the distain for the previous gesture, but it's hard to keep an insulted composure when he looks at me like this; the small, mischievous smile more than familiar.

"Just coming to compliment you, but fine."

"Go on then."

"Why were you late?"

"Ha!"

My exclamation holds confidence, but as soon as Minho's eyebrows reach for the ceiling and his eyes turn worried, the façade shakes. He knows about Mac. He knows as much as I let him, but being a close friend has probably granted him the burden of seeing through my words. It's difficult to hide the calls and constant texts. And the running mascara.

"I'm here you know, just let me know if you need anything." This time his strong hand is gentle as it grips my shoulder. I nod and reach for my bag.

"Thank you, I know. It's all good."

"Why don't we have a proper movie night? Maybe some drinks?" Minho leans down to search for my gaze. Instead of waiting for my answer, he hurries towards Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix and Elle, all four of them already heading out. "You guys free tonight?"

I feel giddy from the idea of spending time with my friends.... beats having to be a delivery girl by a thousand miles. Well, that's not completely fair, I stay at Mac's house so it's only fair that I buy stuff too. But seeing my team smile and nod eagerly and immediately start making plans on what, where and when is like serotonin of a different kind. It's calmer than the energy that comes from dancing, it's more comfortable than explosive, if that makes sense.

So a plan is made: we'll all meet at Minho's house in two hours. I'll get the wine, Hyunjin is in charge of chips, Felix is on dip duty, Jisung will bring the sweets and Elle takes care of the donuts. Minho will order the pizzas.

"Hey Y/N, I uh..." Felix opens the building door for me as we all make our way out. He looks a little nervous, but I can't see why that would be the case. Did I do something to upset him today? Was I rude? Did he want to tell me off for being late again?

"I don't really need to head home, mind if I just come to your house with you and we can head to hyung's together?"

Oh. That's all? I sigh in relief and smile, both at his question and my own thought process. He's never been to my house but I don't see why that's a problem.

"Sure, yeah, let's go catch the bus."

The bus is as full as when I arrived four hours ago. Felix and I are squeezed together, chest to back at first, but I get frustrated with not being able to reply when he talks next to my ear, so I flip around after the first two stops. His neck is in my eyeline, I find his eyes by tilting my head up. I'm so happy he's not Mac.

"You don't wanna shower or anything?"

"Do I smell?" he smirks.

"No! No, that's not what I- I mean just that-"

"Calm down," Felix chuckles, his chest vibrating against mine. His tongue quickly swipes across his lips. "You have a point, I guess I didn't really think about it."

"You can shower at mine," I shrug and feel my phone buzz deep in the pocket of my hoodie. It seems irrelevant, all I'm focused on is watching Felix's cheeks and ears change color. I don't think there's any need to be shy about such things, a shower is such a normal need and I so happen to have one at my place, as well as a clean towel and some shampoo. I always have this need to make people feel at home at my apartment, even if they haven't been there before. My goal is that it's easy for them to be with me and around me if that's a space I want to give them. And Felix has more than earned his space these past months.

Why does every suit wear Sauvage nowadays?

We laugh at nothing, damn near skipping our way to the elevator.

As the doors open to reveal the end of my blissful Saturday standing in the hallway, I find myself wishing that Felix had come home with me any other night. The rhino suddenly leaps onto my torso again, begins a little jig and my feet go a little numb. Tonight sounded too good to be true anyway.

"Where have you been?"

The text from earlier... I could've prevented this. Ignore the question, he knows where I've been.

"Felix, this is Mac, Mac, this is Felix."

Mac doesn't take Felix's outstretched hand, only stares at him up and down. I want to smack his judgmental jawline.

"Oh... uh. Hey, man... what's up?" Felix uses the hand meant for a polite handshake to rub the back of his neck.

"I'm her boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend," I specify abruptly, sending a pleading look at Felix to... well, I don't know what.

"What are you?" the owner of the rhino asks, voice as judgmental as his expression.

This is normal. Mac never got along with any of my friends. That's how boyfriends are. Or some boyfriends. We're meant to spend time together by ourselves and then we both keep our own friends as separate entities. He didn't want me to get jealous of his pretty friends. And of course he shouldn't have to see me being happy with other guys.

I fumble with my key and feel Mac's eyes burning my skin very uncomfortably. Maybe if I take too long, Mac will leave?

"Open up, I've been here for like... ten minutes."

"You knew I had practice."

"How was I supposed to remember what time it ends?"

He hasn't remembered before, why would he now? But we didn't make plans this time, but... I did, with my teammates.

"What's he doing here?" 

Mac pushes past me into the apartment, practically shoving me against the door. Felix's arm flies behind my back to stop me from falling.

My place is small, about 25 square feet which is really all I need. I try to keep it tidy, but every corner here screams "hectic lifestyle". Felix takes off his Converse immediately which makes me smile. I probably should be embarrassed by him seeing the laundry and dishes, but who doesn't have those in their apartment? Having two guys in here though... that's a little out of the ordinary.

"Felix and I just came to swing by, we're heading to Minho's for a movie night-"

"What? I thought we were hanging out?"

"I never said that! Minho asked and we all thought it was a great idea-"

”I drove all this way to get you!”

He did. He drove the whole five blocks for me.

”I know, okay,” I sigh and cross my arms. It hurts to turn to look at Felix, whose expression is completely unfamiliar to me. But his eyes aren't on me, they're on the man currently slumping onto my couch, I hear the heels of his shoes hit the small table in front of it. I wish he wouldn't do that.

I step between them. The rhino standing on me makes it hard to move. ”I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I'll just text Minho. I’m so sorry for this Lix… dragging you here…”

Those beautiful brown eyes soften as he turns to me, it almost looks like he's reaching for me.

”You didn’t-”

”Lix? Are you a cat?” Mac laughs at his own quip.

He’s not funny, but at least he tries? I guess. But it’s not funny when it’s aimed at my friend.

”Shut up,” I reply. ”There’s no room for that with so many burgers in your name.”

Felix chuckles low and glances at me, hands in his pockets. I’m happy I make him laugh, it feels like an achieved goal. His smile falls quickly when his gaze does the same; he sees me throwing my bag over my shoulder and my feet inching back towards my discarded shoes next to the door.

”You really shouldn’t try to be funny,” the burger scoffs from the couch, grabbing a fistful of sourcream chips from the bowl on the table. I made him angry with my joke, I knew I shouldn't have said it. ”Or eat these, I thought we talked about this,” he mumbles as they turn to mush in his mouth.

He’s right, we have talked about it. Mac has said many times that he’s noticed how they make my face bloat. He’s right, I’m trying to be a good dancer, after all, I need to look the part.

I hum in response and lean down to tie my laces.

”You ready or what? What’s taking so long?”

”Almost!” I reply fast.

I return to an upright position so quick my head spins, but I have to hurry because Mac is getting impatient. I'm already mentally preparing to head for the door, when a sudden chill runs through me.

”Felix?” I stare at his expression, from the side his eyes look black. I hold out my hand, my trembling fingers reach for his arm but before they make their landing, he steps towards Mac.

”Leave.”

I’ve never heard a voice so low, it’s primitive and raw. Mac freezes in his spot, chips stilling in his mouth.

”Now.”

”Excuse me?”

”Lix, I-”

”No, I’m sorry. Excuse me. Let me be more clear.”

Felix approaches Mac slowly.

”Get off your ass, walk to the door, open it, step out of it and then close it. I don't care what the fuck you get up to after that, but leave my sight right now, or I won't be responsible for my actions.”

Mac looks at Felix, then me. His expression emits complete disbelief. I don't move for an instant, but when I see Felix's head begin to tilt to the left, his back so tense he's shaking, I'm flooded with the strength of the small army he and I form together. I stare back at my ex, eyes ablaze, and cross my arms.

Mac scoffs and stomps toward the exit.

"You're just a mess of red flags, Y/N, psycho friends and all this shit, good luck finding someone to fuck!"

The silence that follows the slammed door is deafening. My hands fall to my sides slowly, the rhino walks away. I can't stop staring at the bowl of chips next to the couch. Why shouldn't I eat those if I like them? Why should I go just because he tells me to? I can find people to fuck me, to love me... I-I think I can. Right now I think I can.

”Thank you.”

”I’m so sorry,” Felix says speedily and his voice overlaps with mine. He pulls me in for a one-sided hug. I can’t respond out of the confusion in my brain.

”Sorry? For what?”

"I know you don't need saving, I just lost it, I'm so sorry if I hurt you by treating you as someone helpless, you're not, at all!"

Only Felix could turn doing something so kind and hot and decent into something to apologize for. I reach for the sides of his head which is now buried in my shoulder. He's still shaking.

"Lix, look at me."

He does.

"You did nothing wrong, thank you. I mean it. He needed to hear that. As did I."

His lower lip trembles.

"Oh come here, silly," I pull him back to the hug he began. Arms flung around my torso tightly, we remain like that and just breathe together until I feel his vibrating muscles calm.

So, that's what he's like when he's mad. That's one of his buttons; he's protective of his friends. Interesting, sort of obvious and very fitting.

Felix has to crouch, almost fold over to have his head reach the crook of my neck. This is the first time he's ever felt tall and small simultaneously, it's endearing. I'm suddenly very conscious about the fact that I haven't showered yet when I feel his nose brush the nape of my neck. My breathing pauses from the feeling. I hope I don't smell. Why did that feel so... intimate?

His arms tighten and he inhales deeply. Shivers travel throughout my existence and I have to force out an exhale.

"Are you okay?" Felix straightens up and focuses all his attention towards my eyes. It's magnetic, I just stare back. His eyes are brown again. I've never noticed that freckle next to his eyebrow.

"Y-Yeah, I'm good..." I mumble and then realize what I said.

The rhino is actually gone. I can breathe. I test the thought in practice and start smiling, the full kind.

"I'm good. I'm good! That felt so, so good! Felix, oh my god. Thank you for standing up to Mac, oh my god, I feel okay, I really do!"

I prance and hop around my apartment, blabbering all the while. My friend laughs aloud with a bright expression, his hip to one side, weight on one leg and hands in his pockets.

"I'm happy to hear it. I'm sorry I got so angry though," he goes serious.

"No, no, I loved it!"

"Huh?"

I stop mid jump and feel like what I just blurted out is floating in front of me like a subtitle. Without knowing my thought process I can see how this could be confusing.

"He's gone," I sigh and turn to look at Felix. "He's gone, and it's good. I love that you did what would've taken me another six months of my life to finally do."

The whole team knows we started dancing together around the time me and Mac "broke up". I watch realization spread onto Lix's handsome features and wonder what it is he realized. That I was too weak to be alone? That I basically lied about the break up and that I've been seeing Mac this whole time? That I'm an idiot? That I'm pathetic?

"Has he been like that to you the whole time?" His eyes are dark again.

That's a tricky question in a sense. I really want to say he wasn't like that at first. That he changed. But maybe he was always like that and I was just too into him to see it. We disappeared from my friends' sight so quickly that no one in my social group really ever got to know him before the bigger fights began. Maybe they would've seen that he was a walking red flag.

"I'm not sure, actually. I think... it may have changed around the time he found out about my anxiety," my voice is small. I find refuge on the bed because the couch seems to still have his ass print on it. "I-I... Well, what really helps me when I get anxious, like have an attack or something, is physical contact. Mac made me feel like... I guess he made me feel like he was the only one who wants to help me. So even though I always felt heavy with him, and I did, truly, I feel so small and- well, just wrong when I'm with him it just... It felt like a better option than the wrong way I feel when I'm by myself. Whenever being alone got too much and I needed someone to hold me, hug me, touch me... love me, I'd go back to him. I guess I think it's better than being alone. And sometimes I just freeze and stare at everything this effects in my life; my family, friends, the team... I love dancing with you guys so much, but if I keep being late and just fucking everything up, I don't know what'll happen... Great, here I go. I'm sorry."

Tears have begun to run down my cheeks all the way to my hoodie. I didn't look at Felix once during my monologue, it felt so personal and self-reflective that I should've been on a leather futon in a therapist's office. All of a sudden he lands in front of me, knees colliding with the floor.

"Don't apologize, please."

Felix's hands envelope mine and he squeezes them gently. "I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. If I'd known... He's an asshole, you don't need him. You have so many people who'd be happy to help you with whatever you need. People who adore you."

His hands protecting mine feels comforting, but there's something very exciting about his touch. I'm happy I'm crying, because it hides the real reason I think I'm shivering right now. But it's Felix... I mean it's Lee Felix, he's my friend. My teammate. I mean... have I thought about what he's hiding underneath his clothes, what he'd look like out of them and under me? Sure, yeah, of course. Obviously. But never in a serious manner. I haven't even let myself think about having a new crush. There's only been Mac. The one whose supposed to be the only one to love and take care of me... I imagine what sex would be like with everyone I dance with, I guess. How can someone who's been having sex regularly be so horny? Maybe it speaks to the satisfaction level of the activity. Or the one offering the services. I digress. What is it about Felix that makes our contact so monumental all of a sudden? 

And now I know he can get mad, his eyes do get darker. And it happened as he protected me. I loved it. It's like I've unlocked a new level.

My tears cease, the last two fall when I smile.

"Thanks, Lix, that's sweet."

"I mean it, I... We really care for you. And if you ever need company or anything, you know, just call me- or any of us!"

His eyes haven't left our joint hands once.

This would be the perfect moment to kiss him.

As if reading my mind, his eyes find mine. They're big and beautiful, glowing. He's glowing.

This is the wrong time to kiss him, or anyone. It's not fair, I'm just fragile and excited and frazzled, and anything that could happen now could just as easily be me trying to control these roaring emotions with something concrete. That something should be taking a shower, not kissing my friend.

But he's so beautiful and staring at me and just right there, looking so ready for the taking.

SHOWER, WOMAN. DO IT NOW.

My hands fly to Felix's cheeks and his eyes light up even brighter. I smack a dry kiss onto his forehead and get up clumsily.

"Thank you, you're amazing. Really, I'm so happy we're friends," I chirp, heading to the closet to grab fresh towels for us both. I toss the yellow one to him just as he's getting up, eyes now on the ground, the corners of his lips seem to curve down. He must not like forehead kisses. "Let's talk more okay, I really do want to go through this properly, but I really need a shower first. Just make yourself at home."

An accepting hum follows me to the bathroom.

I'm quick when I shower, but I'm happy that Felix took my comment to heart and relaxed enough to sit on my bed in the five minutes I spent away from the shared space. He smiles quickly and heads straight for the shower after me. The door slams shut. It feels aggressive.

Did he look sad? Mad? Annoyed? I'm not the best at going through this, deep conversations I mean. How do I express how grateful I am for what he did? I've never been in this situation, having someone kick another someone out of my apartment, having someone stand up for me. Granted, it was a coincidence Felix was here and saw Mac in action, I'm lucky to have friends who would've kicked his ass months ago if I'd given them the go-ahead. But maybe Felix wanted me to kiss him? But why would he? Would that have been a good thank you? Did he feel like I wasn't being fair? That I'd kiss someone like Mac but not him? Not Felix... surely he wouldn't- I pray he doesn't think that. He's not the guy who thinks I should "repay" him. He's not.

While my mind rolls me down this very steep hill I somehow find my way into comfortable yet clean clothes. We should really get going.

"Hey, mind if I borrow a hoodie? I didn't bring a change of clothes and would be nice to throw on something fresh."

I can't breathe, he's gorgeous, the towel flung over his other shoulder while his sweats hang low on his defined hips.

SPEAK.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, of course, that's fine."

I toss him a hoodie just like I did the towel fifteen minutes prior, he catches it just as easily. Only this time I can see the muscles that work while that movement happens.

"We should really get going."

We should, and we do. Felix is a tacit conversational partner the entire way to Minho's, mostly because I'm so nervous I'm blabbing his ears off. The quiet, very clean creature next to me doesn't seem to mind the listening role though, so I keep going until we get to Minho's apartment.

"What took you so long?" a fresh-out-of-the-shower Minho groans loudly.

"We're early!" I reply and shove a wine bottle into each of his free hands. Felix chuckles. "Jinnie, Ji and Elle aren't even here yet!"

"I'm hungry now, and I assumed you'd be earlier to make up for being late again today!"

We make our way to the kitchen.

"YA! You know I'm sorry!"

"Your apologies mean nothing to me."

"Hyung," Felix shakes his head solemnly.

Everything goes quiet. Minho's look jumps from me to Felix, obviously annoyed he doesn't understand, not knowing what he's supposed to not talk about. It's really not fair, and I don't want Felix thinking he's not allowed to talk about what happened, how he helped me.

Fine, I'll just come clean.

"I've been late because I've been sleeping over at Mac's. A-And sleeping with Mac."

Minho's eyes widen.

 "And when I do that I... I loose sense of everything else. I'm sorry, Min."

"But we're gonna help her now," Felix's soft smile makes me tear up again. "So she'll realize she doesn't need him."

I believe Felix.

"Felix kicked him out of my apartment today."

Minho's whole being brighten's up. "Really?"

"Yeah, and I'll do my best to keep him out."

"And we'll help," Min replies and reaches out his hand. "Phone."

After a moment of misplaced incredulous staring, as if I didn't know the next step was necessary, I hand it over. With a few calculated, overjoyed swipes and clicks, Minho does his part to ensure that Mac's gone. I have the best friends. The thought floats in my head like a proud flag I proudly fly, but then the door bell rings. And ten minutes later it does the same thing. And I only get more proud from there.

The rest of the night is amazing. I haven't felt this light in millenniums. The five of us indulge in wine, chips, pizza, donuts and movies. It's exactly what life should feel like. Sometimes I catch Felix staring at me. His response to our gazes connecting is either a swift redirection of his head or a goofy face. I'm sure I made him uncomfortable somehow. Maybe he thinks that I know what that thing was and wants me to not feel bad about it. Because he's kind and selfless that way. But the thing is that I don't know what the damn thing is. The drink swirling in my wine glass isn't wine, it changed into a demonic version of a Gin & Tonic two full glasses ago. It's Sprite and Gin, the two ingredients Minho has in his apartment, if you don't count milk. Which I do not. The blasphemy still goes down fairly easily, and I'm finding it harder and harder to stop staring at my beautiful, blonde savior. I need to know what made him make those faces as well as how he feels about everything that went down - and didn't go down - at my apartment.

I'm pretty sure my brain is demanding things I shouldn't really demand of him. He doesn't owe me anything, it's the other way around really. But I don't want to repay him physically. I mean I do... but only as a disguise to hide the fact I really do want to touch him and feel him. Okay, I'm going over the rails. I set down my glass, slowing down the drinking to make my thoughts calmer, but... when did I empty this? Never mind.

"Y/N-ya, it's almost one, you need to go or you're going to miss the last bus," Minho's voice rings from the kitchen. One? How can it already be one in the morning? "Wanna sleep over?" he continues after a slight pause, mouth obviously full of something. I've taken shelter in his lovely home countless times, but somehow I feel like going home. Today has been such a hurricane.

"Nah, thanks," I get up and skip to the kitchen, pulling my best friend in for a hug. "But brunch tomorrow?"

Minho nods against my shoulder. He hugs me tighter than usual. He utters the next sentences without lifting his head.

"I'm fucking glad that he's gone. I wish I'd known you were still... Anyway, call me, Felix, anyone else when you get low okay?"

My turn to move my head up and down. I hear the quietest, most fragile "I love you" before he straightens up and ruffles my hair sloppily. "Get going, or you'll have to run!"

I give Hyunjin, Jisung and Elle their goodbye squeezes, but as I'm rashly moving closer to Felix's torso on the couch, he captures my hands in his and fixes his eyes on mine, this time obviously wanting me to notice. They're slightly glossy, a little red, as is his nose. An intense feeling burns through me as his skin glues to mine, identical to this afternoon.

"I was thinking of heading out too, can I make sure you get home okay?"

I swallow and nod.

We stand about twenty feet from the bus stop as we watch the vehicle drive by, almost empty. I let out a laugh. Last night bus, cab costs an arm and a leg, walking takes an hour and it's freezing. So...

"Well, back to Minho's I guess," I rub my hands together and glance at Felix, ready to turn back to the mini party only a few minutes back the way we came. "I can wait for your bus with you if you want,  where does it-"

"I can walk, I... I live pretty close."

"But..." I mumble and stare at the imaginary Google Maps opening in my brain. "You could've just gone home to shower today then, you didn't have to come to my house. I thought you lived so far that it wouldn't have made any sense for you to..." my voice disappears when the shyest and most embarrassed smile I've ever witnessed starts to adorn his features.

"Yeah... I live like, fifteen minutes from here. I just... I don't know, I just wanted to hang out. With you."

"Why?"

Felix laughs, loud, incredulous, glancing up at the dark heavens. "Why? 'Cause you're amazing, that's why. I've been... shit, okay... I've been wanting to hang out alone with you for weeks. I've had a crush on you since- well I guess since the first time I saw you in class months ago. It was just physical at first, I think, but then we got into the same team and you just... every day you just turn out to be cooler and cooler and I've just been gathering the guts to fucking ask you out... I was going to ask today, but then we made these plans, so I just used that to try to steal a few moments alone with you. But then..."

I gulp.

"We met that asshole who made me lose my shit, and I'm still just so sorry I got angry, but I just needed to get him out, I mean, how could he talk to you like that? Treat you like that? And then when you cried and I held your hands for the first time, all I wanted to do was kiss you, and I thought you wanted the same thing, and I'm so sorry for that."

We've made our way to lean against the apartment block's stone wall side by side, eyes on the ground. But the flood of questions that take over my brain at this apology physically fling my gaze to him.

"I'm sorry I was thinking of something like that when you were so vulnerable. You obviously didn't want that, you made it really clear with how fast you left the room and how nervous you've been since... I made you uncomfortable, and I'm so, so sorry. It was never my intention. And... well, the more I think about it, the sillier the thought of you wanting to go out with me feels-"

"Why? Because you're kind? Handsome? Funny? Talented? Intelligent?" I blurt and turn to stand in front of him. "Felix..." I whisper and take his hands into mine, suddenly shy again, since I can't seem to look up. "You didn't make me uncomfortable. Not at all. The reason I did this," I repeat the forehead kiss, only slower. His body goes fully stiff. "And ran into the shower was so I wouldn't kiss you right then. It didn't feel fair."

"What do you mean?" his voice is low and hoarse, chin tilting up so his eyes reach mine. How can someone look this ethereal?

"Because... I didn't want you to think that I was only doing it because I was trying to get over Mac. I haven't let myself think about anyone else since we started going out and I... Now, I feel desperate to just forget about him and find something better. I want to believe I deserve it, it's a lot of work but because of you, what you did today, I think I can. I just... desperately need to get him out of my system. I want something more."

"You deserve it. You deserve so much," he whispers and I watch his Adam's apple bounce.

How does alcohol give me so much confidence? Four drinks ago I would've turned as red as a tomato and moved away, but now my eyes stay on the man in front of me as he slowly straightens up and is suddenly towering over my short form. But when Felix towers, it's safe and strong, not intimidating in the slightest.

"I'd like to help you think about someone else."

"I want to kiss you," I bring our hands up, placing them between our chests. "But only because I want to kiss you, Felix, not just anyone. You."

"B-But I don't want you to feel like-"

"Shh... I don't. I want you. I just don't want to hurt you, because I don't know what my heart can take at the moment, I can't promise that I'll be a good person to date right now, I-"

"What if..." Felix gently lifts my chin higher with his thumb as his voice trails off softly. "We just... kiss good night, and then I'll take you on a date tomorrow... Let's see how it goes and... take it from there. Sound good?"

"Mhm."

"Yeah?" he grins before leaning down to press his lips against mine. Right before they touch, he hesitates. He's kind. Too kind. His breath beckons me, calls for me to close the gap.

They're so soft. I need to grip hold of his hoodie just to stay upright as we melt together. Felix's hands pull me closer by my waist, I feel him crumpling up my hoodie too. He tastes like sprite, it's heavenly. The good night kiss turns into a much longer goodbye, as we slowly explore how our lips and tongues fit together. I could stay here forever. I can't remember anyone I've ever gone on a date with, dated, let alone kissed before this. It's heavenly. It's all just... heavenly.

Today, I found two things that make Felix's eyes darken. That's really exciting. They're almost black when they open as we pull away from each other, but return to the gentle chocolate shade when he smiles.

"Good night," I whisper and give him one more peck, which almost turns into a another session.

I wave shyly as I watch him disappear behind the corner. I don't know how I'll get to sleep. Or how I'm going to explain this grin that just won't. Go. Down.

The next day I have brunch with Minho, and Felix and I head to the movies in the evening. That date turns into another, and another... and another. By the time Christmas comes around, we've been together almost every day. I've found a lot of things that make Felix's eyes darken.

But since we've been together, I haven't been late to practice once. Okay, once, but that time we were late together.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

AIKU AND PROF BIRCH THEY BOTH HAVE THE MF STUBBLE LMFAOOOOOOO

LMAOO no wait that’s so real Karasu being like “maybe *I* need a ground type then I can compete with yuki and show him I’m the man”

Oh yeah huh I didn’t even register that LMAOSJ er anyways HAHAH wait this can be fake death instance #1 Karasu scared shitless like “oh fuck no is she dead where’d she go damn where’s staraptor when I need it” LMAO the way we both thought about the death instance is so funny I hadn’t even read that part of your response yet truly on the same wavelength!! Bro that’s fr me we keep talking about Karasu and I have to keep reminding myself that hes not the love interest in pursuit

LMAOA I imagine them standing outside the base for the abusers or sth getting ready to go in and otoyas like “woohoo a date with nurse joy here I come!” And readers like “we’re so cooked” but in the end they somehow succeed time to cook up what Tullia and Karasu are doing LMAO wait imagine idk like a sorta filler ep moment maybe when you don’t feel like writing/posting something that super central to the main plot and we get the team split up first we see otoya reader then we get a snippet of Karasu tullia LMAO truly dumbass x dumbass chemical reaction there’s no strong duo than that!!! HAHAH another tally already this is so funny maybe he sends his staraptor out like usual but no one can find them fast enough to help them and they’re just like “hey guys!” Cue the “ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE” LMAO

REAL early gen art >>>> im never getting over the scovillain jumpscare it fr haunts me like what the hell is that…

Omg gojo dynamic from pi I agree that was peak (watch me be one of those people swerving to Karasu)

Ok circling back to birch because I saw the separate post first SO REAL ITS REALLY IS GIVING BIRCH??? Bro even his shirt and pants are kinda reminiscent of aiku colors and like I said the fuckass STUBBLE and the vibes just match too well he definitely would get chased into a tree by some runt pokemon LMAOOOOO retired soccer player Aiku is just Prof birch fr

Yeahhh I thought legendaries might’ve been too much which is why I only kinda considered it as a side plot only but when I was thinking of that I fr thought yk zekroms head is kinda giving karasus hair LMAOOO zapdos also gives really strong chigiri vibes but RAYQUAZA I love rayquaza I remember using its mega really often LMAO

Real an iPad is a more convenient size wise also I’m ngl I am a Google office (??) HATER I remember having to move a doc from word to gdocs and the entire formatting got fucked up and I was like what the fuck just happened????? Like the margins and spacings doubled and shit but wtv….i don’t use it unless i have too google sheets is also ASS bro my dumbass just said “wait is pages not on apple comps/macs” then I remembered that you said you have a windows….the way I already forgot that info from like two seconds ago….

JJK BORUTO crying lowk unless the sequel directly address and includes the current characters I probably won’t bother with anything beyond whatever makes it to my social media feeds either

LOOKING FORWARD TO IT aikulations or not I’ll be ready to laugh

YOU DESERVE IT you truly at the goat of goats wait that’s also so cool that’s essentially what I do when I read (except in reverse order) I lowk wonder how many things we imagine are the same (like small details yk) like I have a very clear visual of what the restaurant they sat in looks like and the outside and the parking lot (buildings and architecture are my greatest enemies in terms of drawing and layout though so I fear I won’t be able to draw it out but maybe I can find a similar looking place?? We’ll see LMAO) but yeah that essentially happens whenever I read stories and books too it’s kinda funny when I see cover art for a book and I’m like oh that’s not what I imagined but ok go off

But OMG???? I will keep my eyes peeled fs but if you’re saying it’s something insane it’ll definitely be something where I lose my mind over so now I’m even more curious LOL also that’s so me I definitely unintentionally pass out more than I should only to wake up and be like haha oh shit

LMAOO tiktok please send a hot audio Mira’s way!!! Im still amazed by bfb though 41k is actually insane for a one shot if anything I feel like that just means your next long fic is just gonna be HUGE wait actually speaking of assuming pursuit is like the pi long fic equivalent for bllk where do hollyhock and peregrine fall on the scale? Just kinda curious LOL not sure if you meant for those to be of the same length or if they’re not like long long if ykwim

Also I’d like you to know that right as I was about to hit send i select all’ed (??) this entire ask and almost deleted it I think if that happened I would’ve passed out

- Karasu anon

THE AIKU BIRCH PARALLEL I WAS CRYINGGGG it was too good 😭 the vibes match up SO well too i can just see niko rescuing him with a random starter pokémon so well LMAOAOA niko the true protagonist of pursuit boruto nagiy/n daughter charles and kurona are just side characters in his adventure

okay ykw is hilarious i just checked yuki’s team and he has an electric type too (manectric) so karasu DEFINITELY needs a ground type because of his electric type ptsd 😭 once he gets garchomp and lucario though he honestly has a good shot at beating yuki just in terms of type match ups though…like talonflame easily takes breloom, honchkrow can deal with alakazam, lucario packs up steelix, garchomp beats noivern and manectric, so the only one left is azumarill and ngl i think one of the birds like staraptor or pidgeot has a decent chance against that KFFJDJSJ so at the end of the day karasu does clutch up 🤩

LMAOO the funniest thing is like because she gets deino relatively early (i think it’ll be her third pokémon??? she’ll catch joltik beforehand) none of karasu’s birds have fully evolved yet so he’s just like WHERE IS MY DAMN STARLY in my mind his birds don’t evolve until he runs away because they need that freedom and consistently tough battling to really be pushed into evolution yk?? but no you’re so right pursuit karasu is so ideal man like nagi’s lucky reader brotherzoned karasu immediately or else he’d be in trouble (jk)

LITERALLY bro otoya’s just thinking about how nurse joy will love him after his (she won’t) meanwhile reader’s like yeah we’re done for but somehow they pull it off (probably thanks to joltik aka undisputed goat of reader’s team) but omg imagine it’s like reader and otoya going through hell trying to save all of these pokémon and then the chapter just cuts to tullia and karasu trying on clothes FJSKDJSJ infernape’s getting a massage karasu’s buying treats for starly it’s truly such a contrast 😭 HELP reader and otoya are subject to an entire lecture from karasu afterwards (mostly otoya because reader told karasu it was his fault) they’re just sitting there like niko after the game against team z LMAOAOAOA

IT HAUNTS ME TOO DW I THINK ABOUT IT QUITE FREQUENTLY AND NEGATIVELY HAHAAHA the early gen art with the water color vibe is so pretty though i love it!!

please it’s okay i’m doing my best not to swerve myself 😟 it’s fine though as long as i give a pi gojo vibe to him too it should be okay i hope…like this is our stressed out bird obsessed big brother DJFJSJS we have to lock in and go crazy for nagi fr

okay wait imagine that pursuit is kind of like a prequel to the main games?? in the sense that reader and nagi and all fix training and the perception of trainers so it’s closer to what it’s like in the game series…and then niko is the protagonist of the games themselves (i can def see him w one of the little zygarde cells as well as zygarde itself) with nagiy/n’s daughter, charles, and kurona as the little trio of rivals ☝🏻 nagiy/n’s daughter getting yveltal (taking after her mother in terms of looking sweet but having demonic team members), kurona getting xerneas, and charles getting nothing (him with a legendary is TERRIFYING)

brooo google suite sucks but it’s more convenient than word because i can access it on my phone without any extra effort 😓 so a bit more convenient than word for that reason but it’s so glitchy and annoying that i just switched to pages straight up LMAOAOAOA

i feel like everyone must picture smth different!! especially because i don’t describe settings to the point that it’s very obvious what you’re supposed to be imagining just general vibes yk…i feel like it’s probably based on your prior experiences?? but if you ever draw or find reference images do send them in hehe i will appreciate it 🤩

AAHHH I’M ASSUMING IT LIVED UP TO THE HYPE pursuit drop last night was crazy fr 😰 given that the mini prologue was 2.5k words alone i think we can predict that the word count is going to be insane 😭 peregrine if i had to guess would be in that 80-100k word count range and hollyhock could be more or less than that really depending on how deep i decide to go with the lore and how much of the in between i decide to show!! if that makes sense LMAOO

[32flavorsotbbg]

8.25

I am aggressively okay lmao

I believe deeply that nothing that is meant for me can pass me by. It’s so weird to feel that way.

Like when I really think about it yeah sure it’s like, instant ick because I feel bare. Vulnerable.

But it’s something I’m prone to, especially while sober, and I’m aware of that.

When all is said and done I want to know I have found someone who is my caliber. I am open to that not being him.

Honestly life alone is really great as well. Like I said, aggressively okay.

I really like who I am. Like despite my flaws, I have compassion for myself now (that definitely has its own process that is not perfect by any means). I feel like allowing myself to sit with the shame of repeating a pattern 😬😬 just kinda makes me stronger in my resolve to be better at 1) being more conscious of when I’m doing that, and trying not to do it; and 2) have some mother fucking boundaries. I knew better than that, I KNEW better than that.

I didn’t want to have that “what do you think of this” conversation like let it be what it is? By analyzing it you’re robbing yourself of experience, one. Two, you’re fucking married?? What do you mean what do I think? I think this is a mess but I like the way you feel??

But also, I gotta like more than that… and I don’t think it’s smart to learn to like certain things.

I think I don’t know you at all. I think you’re married. I think we started having a conversation a month ago and somehow now it’s this.

Adreana called me today and we were talking about this and at one point she’s like “I don’t see how you’re not mad, I would be so mad. That’s why I’m like checking in, because like I just know I’d be so mad”

And I didn’t have anything for her. I’m not mad, I’m not hurt. I know there have been many times I have also withdrawn and I needed that time to become who I am. How could I be mad at that?

The shit sandwich thing I could go without. I’ll take the shit, no sandwich. I need direct. God I just had a flashback to trying to get soda at the movies like just pick one? I apologize I was just rocked by that. Me apologizing to myself is taking me out rn.

Anyway yeah. Maybe I’m not asking the right questions.

Idk what to make of all this.

Like, he said multiple times he doesn’t want me to feel like he doesn’t want me. So what am I to make of that? Because this kinda starts to feel like he’s got that same ick and he’s not being direct. That’s probably me hella projecting.

But you know what if I was asked the right questions, I’d be direct. Cause idk what to just spew out, nor do I want to just kinda like yap about shit I don’t like about someone or have a problem with.

It feels like he picked up a scent and he’s triggered. For whatever reason, maybe he can feel that I like the idea of him but I still don’t know him. So that kinda changes the dynamic just a smidge. Because shit can still get real. Like I’m not so lost in the sauce that I can’t be woken up to shit like this.

And all of it means not very much to me and I don’t know if I should be concerned or not. It doesn’t feel unhealthy, it feels detached. I’d rather be here than really torturing myself over whether or not things were gonna work out. I don’t have an attachment to it.

I don’t know him. I want to! But I don’t and it looks like things are gonna be weird for a lil minute. I don’t want to treat him differently but idk how to be. Do I go bro mode or just menacingly neutral? Aggressively okay?

I just don’t know how to portray that in a subtle and kind way. I’m gonna have no issue acting right in the moment. It’s just my inner condition I’m trying to manipulate. How do I shape my heart to be quiet?

Cause we clearly can’t be trusted lol she gets to talking and I get to nodding and it’s just over from there.

I love the lovey dovey phase. Maybe we’ll get a meaningful one next time.

Or maybe not, because I do not know that man and also he is married. Good god help me. Make him go away if he is not for me. Make him leave me alone if he is not for me.

[estrelladeishtar-archive]

Update post # ??? Of ??? (I don’t keep track)

Figured it’s probably. About time I make one of these? Keeping this brief mostly cause… Not too keen on like. Disclosing too much.

Tossing under a read more regardless but tl;dr is I guess I’ll probably be making efforts to post a bit more here, but expect that most my stuff be focused on OCs & fanchars, as my pinned post would suggest. Also some personal things although not too much.

Ig first & foremost I should say that well—yeah, as my recent posting would suggest I’m going to… be trying to make an effort to be a bit more active on here. Personally though I still feel like most my activity will be kept moreso to my toyhou.se & discord though, as that’s where I most feel comfortable? For those interested in said TH account, it goes by the same username as here, EstrellaDeIshtar . I’m still in the process tho of updating char info pages & everything, & setting up a boundaries page too that’ll be like… what I’m okay/not okay with wrt my own chars? Which I figure, important to have that linked somewhere here too—will tack it onto my pinned post once done but yeah.

I wanna sorta be able to share more on my ocs & fanchars if i post em here, so like… there’s that, & I might also be trying to loosen up & worry less about only posting polished work? Its a way of just working through perfectionism & all which. Struggle, but. We’re getting there whdsjfb. Main reason I re-state that i want focus on ocs & fanchars is because, well… I just don’t have my heart in it to do fanart, I’ve always had more interest in OC content really. So if you’re still here in hopes of that I will have to ask to unfollow, but if you still wanna be here to see my work in general or my OC & fancharacter stuff… then you’re more than welcome to stick around & I do appreciate it a lot.

Ngl I’ve contemplated also like… making an ask blog or rp blog for my OCs Zion & Ishtar but? We’ll see ig, for now I leave it at a passing thought & also a “if you wanna ask abt those OCs pls do or if you wanna ask abt another OC i post I’m also chill with too”… but if I decide to make said blog I’ll def post abt it

Anyway, ig that’s about it for now w creative stuff?

On the personal side of things… shit’s been a lot. I won’t say much more than that (since I prefer keeping that to either one off ramblings on my personal blog that i delete after a while, or to talking to friends only), & the fact that I’ve been having to work through a lotta personal & emotional matters, along w health stuff—hence why I was away for so much, I guess? On top of personal apprehensions w this site (but tbf, other social media sites also ain’t too great) But, we get through it ig.

Anyway, hoping all of y’all are doing well, apologies for my constant absences here but we’ll see how things go bc I do genuinely wanna share my OC stuff here? Idk though if that would. Really be all that interesting to ppl here, & I’ll have to figure out how to format any OC posting I do end up doing here because when I talk abt em it, tends to be… A Lot. & Ig I worry about just how lengthy my OC posting would get if I were to do that…? Its part of why im leaving myself open to asks too so i can feel i can talk abt em & from there know how much to say/ramble, tho for the most part w making posts abt em myself i need to work out what to post & also. How wcsfdh

But yeah.

[dawnagustd]

the D is for Effort || myg

Request: For your request! Can I have yoongi. and have coworkers/rivals that have to do a project together. and the sexual tension finally boils over and leads to smut. Please and thank you! (btw I reading your stories)

➻ title: The D is for Effort ➻ pairing: coworker!yoongi x female reader ➻ genre: angst | smut | rivals/coworkers to ??? | idk what to call these two | office au | corporate au | pwp ➻ summary: You’re butchering this report, but your pride will not allow you to let Yoongi help. Too bad he’s had enough of your stubbornness. ➻ word count: 3.6k ➻ rating: 18+ ➻ warnings: inappropriate workplace behavior | unprotected sex | face fucking | hard dom!yoongi | sub!reader | bdsm themes | spanking | standing doggystyle | erotic asphyxiation | degradation | rough sex/hate sex | dirty talk | pet names | slight orgasm denial | light pet play i guess lol | groping | clit stimulation | mentions safewords | the tie becomes a prop in this story(spoiler alert: it’s a leash) | hand kink | panty sniffing | choking | another panty thief because i can’t help myself | very light aftercare because they’re in a public place | yoongi is as gentle with her as he’s capable of being lol but a soft ending regardless | mentions birth control | creampie | begging | spitting | light humiliation | name calling | yoongi’s big d*ck energy in the building because it’s actually huge | multiple orgasms | edging | the level of disrespect in this one is at an all time high | this...might be the beginning of a love story?(prayers for these two) | no mushy ending so don’t look for it lol | exhibitionism/office sex | gagging ➻ a/n: This written for the lovely @defenseofourdreams6277​ who has been hanging out for me for a very long time. Thank you for everything, love. I hope you enjoy. Also, thank you so much to Beezy @hobeemin​ for reading over this for me and on such a short notice. I really appreciate it. Your comments took me out lol. Well, y’all dig in. Tell me what you think. Btw, if your dirty minds understood the title right away, I love you lol.

Part of the Suits & Ties Sope Collab 😌👔💖

“You’re formatting that incorrectly.”

The sound of his voice makes you automatically scowl. There’s no one you despise more than Yoongi, Mr. Perfect, who can do no wrong in your boss’s eyes.

“Will you shut up? I know what I’m doing,” you snap. 

You can see the annoyed eye roll through your computer screen. He stands behind you, arms folded, impatiently waiting for you to finish this report your boss asked you both to prepare for his big meeting on Monday. There’s no way you’ll allow him to take over. He’ll only claim all the credit and label you as incapable of a basic task. You aren’t a fool.

“Well, at this rate we’ll be all weekend.”

You don’t even bother turning in his direction. Why waste your energy on him when you can put it towards your work? Your boss is picky and likes things done a certain way. “If you have somewhere to be Min, you can always leave. I’ll handle this.”

“Yeah, and fuck it all up,” he mutters.

“Excuse me?”

Yoongi sighs heavily. “Nothing, look I know how she likes it—”

“I bet you do,” you retort.

His mouth forms a tight line before he shakes his head and continues.

“Anyway, I could have us out of here in no time. I’ve been working on that stuff for two weeks now and have already started putting things together. She always asks for things last minute, so I try to stay a step ahead. But if you know so much, be my guest.” Yoongi shrugs his shoulders and walks over to the nearest wall, leaning against to watch you from afar. 

Minutes pass of you typing and deleting before he complains again, this time triggering your patience. “Come on. Move out of the way and let me do this. Everything we need is on my drive.”

You blow out some air in an attempt to get rid of your frustration. 

“Why don’t you come over here and make me move, asshole?” you mutter to yourself.

Yoongi pushes off the wall and takes a few steps toward you. “What was that?”

“Nothing.” You sigh and place your head in your hands, wanting nothing more but for him to disappear.

“Thought so,” he scoffs.

You whisper to yourself. “Whatever, bitch.”

You zone out for a bit, trying to collect your thoughts, but a low husky growl rips you away from your thoughts.

“You wanna say that to my face, bitch?”

You instantly jolt from your seat, startled by the sound. “Yoongi, what the fuck?!” Your back is pressed against your cubicle wall, trapped by nothing but his broad frame.

“Aww, don’t tell me you’re all talk? With a mouth like that, you better be able to back it up, doll.” His chuckle creates a frenzy in your abdomen, and you look on in shock as his eyes check you out without a care.

“I umm…”

“That’s it. Talk to me,” he encourages, his arm extending to rest his hand on the structure behind you. You can’t stop yourself from turning to admire the thickness of his limbs. “I love a pretty girl,” his other hand raises and he slowly drags his thumb across your bottom lip, “with a filthy mouth.”

When you turn to look at his face, you’re immediately lost in his intense gaze. You shouldn’t even be this caught up; you hate Yoongi. But damn does he look good with his hair like this, his hoops dangling with every slight movement. The smell of his cologne is intoxicating and you want nothing more than to swallow him up right now. And you should be ashamed of yourself for even considering something like that.

However, when he retracts you feel a sense of disappointment rather than relief. “Well, I can see you don’t want to play. Another time, I guess.”

“No!” You quickly grab his arm and he looks at you with a smirk. “I mean, umm…”

“Hm,” he hums.

“You wouldn’t tell anyone, right?”

“Doll, we can take it to the grave, if you want.” You respond with a hesitant nod, not trusting him entirely but too horny to think about the consequences. But when he starts walking away, you become confused. “Can’t do it out in the open, baby. We have custodians, you know.”

You quickly scurry behind him, struggling to keep up with his long strides in your five inch heels but determination pushes you through. When you catch up with him, his arm snakes around your waist, making your stomach do flips from the feeling of his touch. You pray he doesn’t notice the excitement and eagerness in your step, but you can’t stop the rush coursing through you.

Yoongi guides you into the file room but only turns on a small desk lamp to illuminate the area you’re in. He sits on the desk and beckons for you to come closer, to which you oblige. “Do you have limits?”

“Y-Yeah, why?”

“Is being deprived of air one of them?” he questions as his thumb caresses your forearm with one hand and loosens his tie with the other.

“You wanna choke me?” You gasp when he gently pulls you closer.

“I just wanna take your breath away, doll.” His eyes are so low and dark the hue of his irises is barely visible. “If you let me, of course.”

“Candy canes and three taps,” you reply. His head tilts with curiosity. “Those are my warning calls.”

“You’re experienced?”

“A little bit, if that’s okay.”

Yoongi’s face forms a half of a smile. “That’s perfect, actually.” You come closer when his fingers call for you to come closer. “Are you gonna be nice and let me kiss you?”

You respond by wrapping your arms around him and throwing your leg over his lap, clinging on to him while your lips move in to seal the deal. Yoongi’s arm keeps you firmly against him, and his free hand grabs your face. “Make sure you keep your fucking voice down, doll.”

He pulls you in and makes your head spin. It’s like once he finally had a taste, he couldn’t get enough. His hands start groping your ass almost immediately and you can only release desperate moans into his mouth in response. Yoongi’s tongue all but forces its way inside of your crevice, and you accept it with no protest. He tastes like mint gum, something dangerously sweet, and cigarettes. It’s a combination you never knew you’d grow to crave.

When he finally pulls away so the two of you can breathe, he gives out an order before he can even catch his breath. “Damn, you’re so fucking hot. Get on your knees, hurry up.”

You drop to the floor and wait for him to unbuckle his pants, gawking when his dick comes springing out. You have to look at it from every angle. It’s so long and girthy with veins so prominent they’ll surely rub all the right places. You want to taste it, lick the raging red tip until precum weeps from his slip. But you know you need to ask for permission first.

“Can I touch it?” 

“A whore with manners, don’t I love to see it,” he applauds while stroking himself to the sight of you on your knees for him. “Give me your hand.” 

He moves it up and down his shaft, at the same pace, he was moving previously then let's go to allow you to get him off. “Just like that. I want to enjoy this for a bit.” 

When his head lolls back, you use the opportunity to admire his size. You’ve never seen one so well proportioned and you just hope he knows how to use it properly. However, the small ruts into your palm tell you that Yoongi might know exactly how to operate his heavy equipment. 

“I need to know what you feel like,” he tells you and you don’t need any elaboration. Yoongi slides into your mouth with no difficulty due to the saliva you’ve gathered in preparation. He whispers profanities quietly as he enters your throat, and your eyes drink up every bit of the pleasure etched across his face. “A pretty girl, with a filthy mouth, huh?” he winks.

He gathers up all of your hair and makes a messy ponytail then begins using your face like a fleshlight. Your mouth and throat relax to make room even though he’s hitting the back of your throat repeatedly. All the while, you keep your eyes on his face, and he finds pleasure in the sight of your runny mascara and globs of spit rolling down your chin. This is some of the messy head you’ve ever given, and by the time he’s satisfied, your head is spinning.

“Fuck, shit!” he curses when he hears the gurgling noises you make from gagging on his dick. You swallow, and he swiftly pulls out, leaving you gasping and choking on the sudden intake of air. “I was gonna come in your mouth, get up.”

He helps you to your feet and you grab his forearms for stability, impressed by the firmness. “Why didn’t you?”

You start to fix yourself, assuming Yoongi’s changed his mind and doesn’t want to take this too far. But he spins you around and traps you against the desk. He whispers in your ear, “Because I wanna know what this pussy feels like first.”

You shiver and he notices right away. You can feel the smirk spreading as his lips run over the shell of your ear. “It’s like that, huh?”

“It’s been forever,” you reply.

“Well, that explains a lot.” Your skirt gets pushed above your ass and your panties pulled down to your ankles. You step out of them carefully so you can spread your legs further apart. Yoongi snatches the lace material within seconds and brings it to his nose. “Do you taste as good as you smell?” he inquires after a long inhale. 

When you turn your head, you see your underwear nuzzled against his nose. You’re thankful he can’t see you clench around anything. You bite back a smile as he catches you staring.

“Why don’t you find out?”

Shoving your panties in his back pocket, he corners you again. You can feel his heavy breaths whipping the back of your neck while he’s leaning closer. He’s just as horny and eager as you are, and you wonder just how long it’ll be before he snaps and rips your clothes off. Secretly, you wish sooner than later.

“Now, that sounds promising.” He moves your hair and places kisses on your skin while he loosens his tie, making his way up to your ear. “But unfortunately, we need to make this one a quickie, doll.”

Yoongi takes your lobe between his teeth while his cock casually slips between your thighs. You try to fight your whimpers when your clit is intentionally probed by the blunt tip, but Yoongi tsks in disapproval. “Don’t hold back. I got you if you get too loud, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” Your words are drawn out due to the friction near your heat. Your pussy leaks arousal and coats his cock thoroughly.

“Mmhm, just like this.” Yoongi’s hand comes into view and his digits wrap loosely around your throat. Instead of sliding in a back and forth motion like he’s been doing, he enters your cunt without warning, making you cry out from the sudden intrusion. 

However, the sound does not escape and you’re left frozen and wide-eyed while his fingers squeeze tighter, only providing you with a small source of air. He rubs your clit in circular motions to help you relax and mold around him, but your wobbly legs make it difficult. Yoongi has to keep you up using only his body, pinning you against the desk.

Eventually, he slowly allows you to breathe and you can only say his name in response to the rush you feel. “Yoongi.”

“Easy, whore. Don’t get too excited…I haven’t even started fucking you yet,” he grunts in your ear. He removes his tie in one motion once it’s undone then places it around your neck. His fast hands knot it skillfully, humming in approval at his own craft.

“Candy canes and three taps, right?” he asks you.

Your head turns to have a look at him. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Cute. Hold on tight, alright.”

With that comes a quick jerk and the tie tightens around your throat. He drills into you from behind, creating an echo of skin slapping noises throughout the room. You’re sure if anyone were in this hallway they’d hear and distinguish the sound right away. 

“You’ve no clue how many times I wanted to bend you over and fuck that nasty attitude right now of you, do you, slut?” No words can be formed when you’re this tongue-tied. All you can do is stare ahead and drool all over yourself because you’re really getting your brains fucked out tonight. Your head is empty, no thoughts are forming due to the minimum amount of air moving through your lungs. Just when you’re about to become dizzy and on the verge of reaching an intense orgasm, Yoongi’s movements slow down and he gradually permits you to breathe by loosening the fabric. He mocks you for your whining. “Uh, uh. You were begging for this and now look at you. Can’t even take it.”

“Fuck off, Yoongi. You’re barely fucking me,” you pant, trying to calm your racing heart, but his chuckle only pisses you off. He snatches your hair and pulls you closer to his chest, forcing you to look up in the most uncomfortable position. 

“That mouth of yours is a blessing and a curse. If you didn’t sound so sexy getting fucked, I’d stuff it with those wet panties in my pocket.”

“Just shut up and make me come already,” you grit. Your voice is strained and shaky due to being impaled by his length buried deep inside of you. Your body trembles with need, and you won’t be able to handle being robbed of another release.

Yoongi pushes you forward, making you lean over the cool wooden surface. He lifts your right leg and places it on the desk before he hovers over you to speak in your ear. His thrusts are gentle, but you know it’s only the calm before the storm. “I’m not being nice to you anymore.”

“I never asked you to.”

“You will in a second.” He drives his cock so deep you scream his name, and his hand quickly covers your mouth. He gives you everything you asked for and some; you’re left babbling obscenities into his palm. Your eyes roll back when his fingers enter your mouth and he uses them to pull you back on his dick.  As if it weren’t already humiliating hearing your juices squelch so lewdly, Yoongi just has to make it a point to let you know about the mess you’re making. One of his hands moves to your pussy to feel the stickiness between your thighs. He brings it to your face so you can watch the strings of arousal snap between his digits.

“So wet, huh? I thought you hated me,” he jests.

You manage to moan your words out even though he’s nearly drawing an orgasm out of you. If he were to just go a little deeper, you’d come all over this desk. “I do. I hate you so fucking much.”

Tears roll down your cheeks because you do. You despise him, but your mind can only think about how good he feels inside of you and how badly you want to reach your high. Your fist clenches and so does your pussy when he kisses your shoulder, soothing the feverish skin, but also making your blood boil with frustration.

“The feeling’s mutual, doll. But this pussy is god sent, so if you don’t mind shutting up for a few minutes so I can enjoy this, that would be appreciated,” he grunts while spreading your cheeks. You can feel his spit dribble into your rim. “I can feel you clenching like a whore, you know?”

“Fuck, Yoongi please just make me come. It’s been too long–ahh! What the fuck?!”

Yoongi slaps your ass and the sting sends another wave of arousal through you. When he does it again, stars form behind your eyes, and you squeak out his name in response. “Why are you—”

“Because you don’t know how to shut up. Now, I’m gonna give you what you want, but remember you asked for it.”

“Fine–Oh my god!”

Yoongi grabs your waist and starts at a relentless and unforgiving pace. You hold on for your life but he continues to push you further. By the time you form a solid grip on the table, he’s fucked you out of your heels and you’re left on your tiptoes. He yanks the tie and forms a makeshift leash-like tether, using it to help pull you onto his cock. The feeling bubbles in the pit of your stomach once more, leaving you tensed and ready to reach your peak with each of his hard thrusts. You can taste your release, and when the fabric tightens around your neck, your mind blanks and a ringing fills your ears. 

“Who’s the bitch now?” His deep voice turns on a switch and your body reacts immediately. The euphoria takes you out of your shell of a body and it takes what seems like minutes for you to come back down.

Once you register what has happened, Yoongi’s voice comes through your ear, and you become aware of his arms wrapped around you in a standing embrace. “Doll, are you good? I need you to answer me.”

“Fine. Just fine,” you manage to get out through your slightly labored breathing. 

He scoffs a laugh. “You sure about that?...I told you I’d take your breath away.”

“Mmhm, I’m alright.” You whimper when his fingers graze your clit, but he shushes you to keep your voice down.

“I heard the elevator. Can you handle a little more so we can dip?” You nod as your head lolls back and rests on his shoulder. Yoongi seems to relish in the soft moans that leave your lips while he fucks you slow. “I’ll take it easy, okay? I’m close.”

You hum as his teeth gently attack your flesh, not caring about the marks he’ll leave behind. His large hands touch everywhere they can reach, but he finds interest in pulling down your bra and toying with your nipples through your thin blouse. “Yoongi.” 

He twitches inside of you when you call his name. “Yeah, doll. What's wrong?”

“Come inside of me,” you request, making him curse.

“Fuck. You’re kidding, right?”

“No, please do it. I’m on the pill. It’s all good.”

He reaches between your legs and fondles your clit until he draws another less intense orgasm out of you. The tightness of your cunt has him emptying inside of you and holding you tighter than before. His face nuzzles in the crook of your neck while he rides out his orgasm, pushing his seed deep into your womb until he slips out of you. “That was so fucking good, baby.”

You stay in this position for a few seconds before he pulls away and starts looking through the drawers below. You can’t stop yourself from pouting and desiring to be held in a post-orgasmic embrace. 

When Yoongi finds some napkins, he cleans you the best he can with the three pieces of paper he found and helps you back into your shoes. You try your best to make yourself presentable but you’re sure there’s no hope until you find a mirror. “Still okay?” he asks you, retrieving his tie from around your neck.

“Yeah, I’m better now actually.”

Yoongi smirks. “I bet.”

Once again, he surprises you with a kiss, and this time it’s you that’s being greedy. He has to grab your wrists to prevent you from tearing his clothes off. “Calm down, doll. We need to get back to work.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” Your head lowers slightly, but he lifts it to look at your face. 

“Let me finish the report, yeah.”

“But—”

You pause when he gives you a look and gives your ass a firm squeeze. “I didn’t ask, doll.”

You can only nod, too whipped to even challenge him right now. 

“I got you, don’t even worry about it…Sit back and play a game on your phone or something. Just don’t say a word, please.” He laughs, but you know he’s serious so you roll your eyes.

You notice his tie is just thrown over his shoulders so you start fixing it to distract yourself from his sharp eyes and handsome features. You can’t possibly like Yoongi, not even just a little. You can feel him looking down at you and when he clears his throat, you don’t bother looking at him when you hum in response.

“And maybe umm…find somewhere you’d like to sit down and have dinner or something if you feel like doing that,” he suggests.

“What?” You finally face him with a look of confusion, but he only winks and turns away, leaving you frozen in the middle of the file room.

“Just listen for once, doll. Everything isn’t always black and white,” he calls out before exiting into the hallway.

Your wobbly legs make slow steps to chase him but you pause right before turning the knob.

“Did Yoongi just ask you out?”

[technowoah]

i just really want jack manifold fluff if you’re taking requests like the reader joins jack for laugh and the stream ends idk you can do what you feel is best :]

Free Content Darling

Jack manifold my beloved ♥

Im so behind on requests yall forgive me 😪

Literally sorry in advance-

Jack Manifold x gen neutral! reader (established) blurb imagine

⚠︎ slight swearing, petnames, and a lot of fluff, a little bit of writers block from me :( I didn't proofread LMAONSK HELP-

Masterlist

"Darling! C'mere!" You heard Jack yell from his recording room. You were currently curled up on the couch scrolling through twitter. The trending page had "JACK" and "TRY NOT TO LAUGH" on the top. The tweets under the trending topics was filled with comments about Jack's stream and other streams happening.

You had heard him laughing and yelling in his recording room before. To be completely honest you dont know why he invited you over his house in the first place. You showed up at his house wanting to just relax and have a fun time with Jack, but after a couple minutes he had told you he had a stream already scheduled today and left to you to your own devices.

Thats how ended up on the couch looking at tweets that talked about your boyfriends stream.

You lazily rolled off the couch and onto your feet. You had the fluffy socks Jack had gotton you as a small gift. You both ended up getting the same socks and slipped around the house because of the hardwood floor. It was a fun activity until you were both mimicking ballroom dancing untill you both slipped and fell on the hardwood floor. It was a small moment but then after you both were more careful around his house.

Opening the door to his recording office you peaked your head inside now knowing if he wanted you completely inside or just wanted to quickly tell you something. The door was in frame when he streams so you couldn't be discreet.

"Hey-"

"Hey! Y/N! Guys it's Y/N!" Jack exclaimed showing you off to the stream. "Come over here love." He waved you over while rolling his identical gaming chair for you to sit on.

You smiled and made your way over to sit beside him in the broken chair.

"Why'd you give me the broken chair this time?" You smiled as you questioned him.

"I mean they are identical, no one would've noticed."

"We'll you told everyone who sat in it that it was broken." You said matter of factly.

"Do you want to sit in this one?" Jack asked pointing to the chair underneath him.

"Yeah I do." You said while putting your hands together in a prayer position. "You wanna switch with me?"

"No, not really Im quite comfortable in my own chair love." Jack said with a smirk leaning back in his chair.

"You sure?"

"Yeah pretty much." Jack's smile widened as he saw your frustration grow.

"Dickhead." You said under your breath.

Jack started to laugh. "What did you say?" He swiveled his chair to face you.

"Nothing. You're hearing things." You smirked.

Meanwhile the chat was freaking out about your interactions. You werent a stranger to Jack's fanbase. A year ago you were just Jack's roommate, but then he slowly introduced you as his significant other. He started flirting with you on stream and on twitter, then after a couple months of that he titled a stream "MEET MY S/O!!!". It was weird for you to be on stream for the first time, but you became accustomed to it.

"What did you want me to do again?" You asked. Jack probably forgot the reason he called you in there in the first place.

"Oh yeah! I wanted to do a stream with you! A you laugh the stream ends type thing. Also the chat was asking for you, they missed you apparently."

"Oh of course they did, I think they love me more than you."

"Yeah I think so! And its not right!" Jack exclaimed and you laughed along with him.

"I think we already lost the challenge, cause we've been laughing for a while haven't we?" You brought up.

"Well the challenge hasn't started. And if we laugh you have to get bonked in the bead with this pillow." Jack had gotton up and walked around the room searching for something to become a punishment. "We have 3 lives each and if we use up all of our lives the stream ends."

"And I have you all to myself?" You asked slightly serious. You still were irked because of tbe fact he invited you over and left you, I mean you are here now next to him, but you wanted time without a camera and monitors in your face.

"Yeah love, of course. But you have to laugh!" Jack exclaimed.

Thinking about the situation, you wanted to laugh and lose all your lives on purpose so you two could have alone time together.

"Fine let's go!"

"Alright then!"

"You suck at this game dont ya?" Jack laughed as mutiple short videos from fans kept popping up on the screen. "You have one more life and I only have two."

It was 30 minutes into the stream and youve been hit with the pillow on Jack's lap more times than you could count, at least that what it felt like. You were on your last life and actually trying to stay in the game after realizing how much fun this was. Maybe you were being selfish, because you were right next to him doing things that you two were going to do alone.

"You have no sense of humor babe." You replied back.

"I do have a sense of humor! I could say my sense of humor is broken even."

"Well mine is too when we compare how many lives we have left."

"Good point."

"YOU LAUGHED!" You stood up confronting him trying to pry the pillow out of his hands to hit him with.

"NO! I did not! Let go!" Jack said still sitting down struggling to keep a good grip on the pillow. You successfully took the pillow out of his hands and started repeatedly hitting him with it as he tried to shield himself.

"Augh! Stop!"

"He laughed! He laughed, you guys saw that right?" You bent down into frame reading the chat while they spammed "YES" and "HIT HIM"

"See, they agree with me Manifold." You said confidently.

"They're just want to see me lose. I'm too powerful." He shrugged.

"Anways! 1 to 1! Loser!" You hit him with the pillow again.

"Stop!"

The stream continued on and the both of you were begging eachother to keep your one lives that you both had left. Everytime you snickered a bit Jack would catch it and vice versa. The stream went on longer than Jack planned, but it seemed like he was having fun. Finally after an hour of streaming and bickering between you both You ended up laughing at this stupid vine from long ago.

"YOU LAUGHED I WON!" Jack threw his hands up in victory. "Holy shit we can end the stream, this took forever."

"You wanna end the stream?" You asked after calming down.

"Well we could just chill and talk to chat, but I would've thought you wanted to chill without.." Jack gestured to the monitors on his stream. "All that."

"How'd you know I wanted to do that?" You asked with a small smile.

Jack shrugged. "Well I kind of left you here in my flat and went to go stream for a while. That was a dick move."

"Well thats what I wanted at first but then you called me in here. I was trying to get all of my lives down, but then I realized how much fun I was having." You explained. For a second you forgot that he was still live until you saw flashing text across a screen out of the corner of your eye.

"It was selfish of me-"

"It wasnt selfish bub! I feel that was valid, but you could've told me." Jack said reassuringly grabbing your hand.

"It was fun though! I wouldn't have it any other way Manifold." You smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Me either."

Jack ended up ending his stream and both of you said your goodbyes to the people watching his stream. He closed everything off of his computer and leaned back in his chair immediately relaxing when the camera was turned off.

"Thanks for inviting me Manifold." You said as he got up to put the pillow back in it's place.

"Of course love." He pressed a kiss to your forehead as we walked away for a second.

"Hey! Why did you invite me anyways?" You asked.

He walked back over to where you were standing and pecked your lips and winked at you. "Free content darling."

[duffs-shot-glass]

Self Defense (Axl Rose x *sister!* Reader)

*pic not mine, found on pinterest, credit to owner*

Self Defense

Axl Rose x (sister!) reader

Fluff/sad??

WARNINGS: profanities, mentions of sexual interaction, (Idk if this counts as sexual harassment??...)

Word Count:1,329

Requested by: @foxinaforestofstars

“Hi there! I love your writing! I was wondering if I could request a fic where reader is Axl's little sister and under his guardianship. Her school calls because she punched a boy for tugging her bra straps and pulling up her skirt. The principal is about to punish her but Axl (maybe having brought the rest of the band, up to you) goes off at them because how dare they try to punish his little sister for defending herself? Thanks in advance”

I tried my best on this! Hope you liked it! Thanks so much for requesting!!

(btw sorry it took so long for me to post!)

Y/N’s POV:

I was completely convinced that the last period of the day was the worst. When the bell rang I was practically thanking God. I picked up my books and walked to the hallway. Sadly, my school had our lockers outdoors. I didn’t enjoy it much when the heat was absolutely horrible like today. I walked out the doors of the school and to my locker. I was just thankful that I got to go home. Axl told me that the band would be over when I got home from school so I was pretty excited. I liked the guys in the band. They made me feel like I was part of their friend group rather than just the ‘little sister’. I closed my locker when I heard a voice from behind me. “Where ya goin princess?” I rolled my eyes and turned around. Of course it’s Jason. Jason was the biggest player in my grade, not to mention he was mean to almost everyone. “That’s Y/N to you, and I’m going home. If you’d excuse me.” I tried walking by him but he put his arm out to stop me. “What do you want Jason?” He smirked at me and put his hands on my shoulders. I felt my back hit the cold metal of the lockers as he pushed me up against them. “You know what I want Y/N.” I tried to free myself from his grip, but he was stronger. “Jason I told you before I’m not sleeping with you or going out with you or doing anything with you!” I shouted as I continued to struggle out of his hold. “Y/N I don’t understand. All the other girls in our grade say I’m the best there is.” He slid his hand under my t-shirt sleeve and started playing with my bra strap. “Jason, stop! I told you I don’t wanna do that!” Anger was growing inside of me. As much as I hated to admit it I was scared. “Come on Y/N! Your brother doesn't have to know...no one has to know.” His other hand trailed down my side until it reached my thigh. My legs weren’t covered since I was wearing a skirt, and I could feel his touch lingering on me. “I will know Jason. Please stop. Please? Don’t be a jerk.” I tried to reason with him but it seemed to make him more upset. “I’m not a jerk Y/N. I just know what I want and I know you’re the only one who can give it to me.” I felt his hand slip under my skirt and pull it up. “What the hell?!” I yelled. My initial reaction was to punch him...so that’s what I did. I heard a nasty cracking sound and looked up to see Jason holding his nose. “Why did you hit me?!” He yelled. That’s when I heard the door to the school open. I looked over to see my teacher, Mr. Brown, walking towards us. I ran to him as fast as I could, “Mr. Brown! Please help me. Jason was just harassing me. He was-” I was cut off when Jason yelled, “She hit me!” I glared at him and turned back to Mr. Brown. “Y/N is this true?” There was no way I could lie. His nose was bleeding for God sake. “Yes, but Mr. Brown he literally lifted my skirt up aren’t I supposed to defend myself someho-” I was cut off again, this time by Mr. Brown. “Y/N that is not acceptable behavior. I need you to go to the principal's office immediately. You have been assigned detention.” My eyes went wide with shock. “This wasn’t even in school!” He glared at me, “It was on school property. Now go to the principal's office!” He shouted. I scurried into the school and made my way to the principal’s office. Wait till Axl hears about this.

Axl’s POV:

I was standing in the kitchen talking to Duff when the phone rang. I groaned and made my way to the phone. “Hello?” I was shocked when I heard Y/N’s teacher’s voice on the other end. “Hello Mr. Rose? Y/N will be staying after school today, she has detention.” I had to stop my jaw from dropping. Y/N was a good student, I knew that. “May I ask why she has detention?” I heard the teacher sigh before responding, “She punched a boy in the face.” My eyes went wide and I tried to hold back a giggle. Like sister like brother huh? “Well she must have had a good reason to.” The teacher scoffed at my response. “Mr. Rose there is no good reason to punch someone in the face. Now if you must know, she said the boy harassed her. I think she’s being overly dramatic. Anyways she won’t be home for another two hours. Have a good day, goodbye.” He hung up the phone and it took everything in me not to break it. “Who was that?” Duff mumbled before putting a cigarette in his mouth. “That was Y/N’s school. She got detention.” Duff looked confused. “Why would she get detention? She’s a great kid.” By this point the rest of the boys had come into the kitchen to see what was happening. “What’s going on?” Izzy questioned. “Y/N got detention for defending herself. She punched some boy because he was harassing her and now the school is saying it wasn’t justified.” Anger was now relevant on their faces. “Let’s go.” I headed for the door and the boys followed close behind. We all piled into the car and I sped to the school. I was clutching the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were turning white. When we arrived at the school I hurriedly got out of the car and slammed the door. My anger was growing with each step I took. I told the boys to wait outside since I didn’t want us to get into more trouble than necessary. When I walked into the building I saw Y/N sitting in an office in front of a desk. I rushed over to the room and opened the door. “Hello Mr. Rose. How can I help you?” Y/N’s principal was sitting at his desk. “Don’t ‘Hi Mr. Rose’ me. Why is my sister here?” He sighed and sat back in his chair. I turned to look at Y/N. “Are you okay sis? What did that guy do to you?” For once in my life I saw something in her eyes that I didn’t see normally. I saw fear. I’m gonna kill that fucking guy. “He was messing with my bra straps and stuff and he uh...he pulled up my skirt.” She looked at the floor as if she was ashamed to be telling me. I clenched my jaw as I turned to her principal. “How dare you!” I yelled. I could tell her principal was a bit shaken up by the loudness of my voice. “Mr. Rose, she punched him..” He mumbled. “How dare you try to punish my little sister for defending herself?!” I yelled again. I watched as her principal nodded his head slowly. “I guess I didn’t realize it was um...that serious.” I shook my head in disapproval as I grabbed Y/N’s arm. “Come on, let's go.” She grabbed her backpack and followed me. When we got outside the boys were relieved to see Y/N was with me. “You’re not going back to school.” Y/N looked up at me amused. “What?” She laughed. “You heard me. You’re not going back to school.” She smirked at me. “Yeah sure we’ll see about that.” I laughed and smiled at her. Once we were in the car I looked over at her, “No but seriously if I see that kid? I’m killing him.” She laughed and shook her head.

Hello! Second post of the night! Anyways thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Have a good day/night and remember you are beautiful! <3 :)

[apersonwholikespoetry]

So i was bored

and we read Of Mice and Men earlier this year in school. and so i wrote a fanfic.

IT DOES INCLUDE SPOILERS AB THE ENDING OF THE BOOK

so like

if u wanna read the book

ig

do that first?

idk

anyway

it has not been proof read so there’s definitely going to be spelling/grammar errors

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lennie was dead. George had killed Lennie. George knew it was for the best, but the pain in his heart felt suffocating. ‘George?’ a smooth voice called from the trees. ‘Oh, George,’ Slim crouched next to Lennie’s cold body.

‘How’d you do it?’ Carlson asked excitedly

George felt so tired. ‘I just did it,’ he said bluntly. Slim could tell from his voice that he hated himself in that moment. He sent Carlson a glare that said ‘shut up, you dunce’ and helped George to his feet.

‘You did the right thing.’ He murmured reassuringly. George simply nodded, not fully convinced.

The group of men trudged back to the bunkhouse, Slim and George leading the way.

‘If only I’d gotten to that bastard myself.’ Curley said, agitated.

‘’spose it doesn’t matter’ Carlson said. ‘As long as he’s dead. That’s all that really matters. We’ll need to get your wife a grave site, and quick. All the good ones get snatched up in winter.’

George made a face at the change of subject. How could those men be talking so casually about a dead woman? Sure, she wasn’t the best but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that her life wasn’t perfect. And Lennie. He was dead. And these people were happy about it. He felt sick.

Slim noticed and pulled him aside.

‘Y’ok, George?’

‘Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just a bit shocked s’all’

Slim nodded skeptically.

‘We’ll put you t’bed, yeah? Get some rest. It’ll help with the shock.’

They eventually got to the bunkhouse and George immediately got under his burlap bedding. Slim looked at him, concerned.

‘C’mon, Slim. He’ll be fine, just needs some alone time. He’ll get over it soon enough.’

Slim sighed and turned to leave the room. Taking one last look at George, he heard muffled sobs. His heart broke and he wished to go and comfort him, but he knew George would just brush him off. He wasn’t good at showing his feelings, nor was anyone on the ranch.

Later that evening, Slim brought George some soup.

‘George?’ he said softly. ‘George i brought you some soup.’

‘’m not hungry.’ Came the reply.

‘I know you don’t feel hungry George, but trust me, it’ll help’

George reluctantly shuffled to out his back against the wall. Slim had to hold back a gasp. George’s eyes were puffy, his usually porcelain face was blotchy, showing Slim how upset he really was.

‘Don’t want the others to see my like this.’ He said, horsely.

‘They’ve all gone into town,’ Slim explained. ‘All… celebrating.’

George’s shoulders slumped and Slim flinched as he realised that his choice of words probably weren’t helping George’s mood.

‘I don’t understand why they all hate him so much.’ George chocked out. ‘He did nothing to them. He got a bit rough at times, and sure he did things he shouldn’t have, but he didn’t deserve to die.’

Slim nodded sympathetically.

‘When… when I did it. He was talking about those blasted rabbits. I’m going to do it, Slim.’

‘Do it?’

‘I’m gonna get that ranch. I’m gonna grow alfalfa and- and live off the fatta-‘

A sob broke off his sentence. Slim looked over to see tears streaming down his face. ‘George, I know it’s hard. You need to understand that it was for the best. Curley would’ve gotten him eventually. And he would’ve made it a lot worse.’

George nodded, sniffing a bit.

‘Thank you, Slim. I know this is probably a but awkward for you.’ He laughed a little. ‘But I really appreciate you being here for me.’

‘Of course. We’re team mates on this ranch. You can always count on me!’

George smiled a bit, the first time that day.

Slim smiled too, his eyes flickering down to George’s lips. George’s smile slowly left his face as he lent towards Slim.

Slowly their eyes closed.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

There was a few inches between their lips.

They got closer, and closer until…

‘Slim!’ A voice boomed through the room.

The two men sprung apart.

Curley stood at the door, arms folded, looking George up and down judgementally. ‘Me and the others are goin’ to get something to eat. Do you… you two wanna come?’ Slim looked at George, who was rubbing his face with his hands to try and hide the tear stains. ‘I think we’ll skip this one, thanks though.’ Slim said, sending Curley a polite smile.

‘What?’ Curley cried out in disbelief. ‘You aren’t comin’? Just to spend time with-‘

Slim cut him off sharply. ‘I said no thank you Curley. You enjoy yourself, but me and George are alright here f’now.’

Curley glared at George, before huffing and spinning on his heel and leaving the two men alone.

‘Y’didn’t have to do that.’ George said bashfully, avoiding Slim’s eyes. ‘Nah, I know… but it was worth it. Getta spend more time with you, don’t I.’

George’s faced burned and he hastily turned away. Gently, Slim cupped George’s chin. He carefully forced George to look at him. After sitting in silence for a minute they both leaned in.

Softly, their lips touched. Butterflies invaded Slim’s stomach as he pulled away. Although their lips had barely touched, he felt drunk on happiness.

‘Slim…’ George muttered. ‘We can’t do this, Slim. It ain’ right. Two men-‘

This time Slim cut George off… with his lips. This kiss was much more passionate, and George melted into it almost immediately. Slim held him closer, gently pushing him to the bed.

‘We can stop if you want,’ he said, smirking. George quickly leaned up, capturing Slim’s lips with his own.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

and thats it

im so sorry

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.

lol what

I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass

also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go

IIDA ANGST

Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida

meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”

“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still

“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT

yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue

okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol

LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL

“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then

oh, ouch

he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan

by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree

and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez

anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol

OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??

FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent

so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient

mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!

FUCK YEAH

okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?

in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no

oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!

poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol

omg. well that answers that

so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own

BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible

(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.

and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)

by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol

WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI

YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR

okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward

dskfjfkk

“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”

actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol

(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)

whoa lol wtf

MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT

-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK

“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao

and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices

poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg

“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS

FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU

THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami

okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces

um excuse me this is fucking awesome

wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk

TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY

WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE

and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji

KAMINARI OMFG

it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice

aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself

do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude

oh shit the mask!!

-- oh shit the feels

o(TヘTo)

fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...

and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance

(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.

incidentally, as @class1akids​ pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)

anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!

“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal

p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked

ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last

okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago

but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once

and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama

and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED

[slashxrose]

Surprise, love -Duff Mckagan-

Title: Surprise, Love.

Warnings: explicit content. 

Summary: I don’t use to do summary of my stories, y’all is gonna love it anyway; enjoy. 

Dirty reading~

Duff Mckagan is the last person I expect to see on my doorstep, wet from the San Francisco mist, a faded green duffle bag at his feet.

Even years removed my heart still clutches at the sight of his hair, the boyish grin on his face. The smile doesn’t reach his eyes the way it used to, but I’m not able to catch much more of him before he’s pulling me into a bear hug and lifting me off the ground.

To put you all in context, Duff was my best friend ... and the best boyfriend someone could ever had, for most of my life, he was my neighbour when we were just born, little kids, getting to know each other from there and living a whole life together; I watched from when his first tooth fell out to when he had to take his first flight to go with the band to San Francisco, the place where I currently live now.

It surprises me, and it shocks me to see him, so changed after so many years, so many years without looking him in the eye, without knowing anything about him; today he is finally here, standing in front of me.

Trying not to break down in tears the emotions hit my being in a wave; remembering the day he left me at the airport and then never see him again; exactly in 1991, after his great "Use your illusion." I never heard from him again.

“Babe,” he breathes, I press my face into his neck, a laugh bubbling up out of my throat, “I missed you.”

“Yeah,” I manage.

I can feel my eyes pricking because I have missed him, too much. We’ve kept up as much as we could over the years, but with him overseas and my steadily making my way around the country, it had gotten difficult. I haven’t heard from him in a few months, and I haven’t seen him in a few years – probably eight, if I think about it. Instead of thinking about it, though, I wrap my arms tight around him and try not to let myself cry at the feeling of him engulfing me.

“I missed you too, Duff.”

I get him up to my apartment and let him settle onto my couch before I ask him any questions, mainly because I can’t quite find my voice and I can’t believe Duff is in my apartment, right now. He beats me to the punch, settling back into my couch and peeking over at me in the kitchen.

“This place is really nice.”

I nod, filling a glass up with water for him and then looking up at him, a smile on my lips.

“It’s alright,” I shrug, shutting off the tap and making my way over to the couch, handing it to him before I sit down, one leg tucked beneath me. “I got lucky.”

Duff sips the water and looks around, shaking his head. My apartment is nice – it’s got floor to ceiling windows and sleek, modern appliances and a killer view of the Golden Gate Bridge.

“Not luck,” he shrugs. “You deserve it, you worked your ass off for this place.”

I swallow, smiling over at him and feeling my cheeks flush – in part, because he’s right, and in part, because he’s wrong.

“Duff,” I laugh my voice soft. I tuck some hair behind my ear and looks up at him. “How’d you find me?”

Duff shrugs, setting the water glass down on my coffee table and turning to face me, leaning his arm over the back of my couch.

“I went home, first...talked to your mom, she gave me your address for if I ever wound up out west. Figured,” he shrugs, laughing, “It’d be more of a surprise if I didn’t tell her I already knew I was coming out this way.”

I shake my head, pressing my fingertips to my face.

“Oh god… I cannot believe my mum did that after all the things I told her, honestly.” I sigh, dropping my hand and raising my brow. “So, she didn’t know you were coming out here...but you did?”

Duff nods.

“Yes, I did… I’ve gotta come back to the hotel in a couple of hours… We’re flying to Europe, we’re gonna start a new tour I guess, we don’t really know, but I figured I could make a stop before I check into my hotel.” I swallow, watching his fingers flex against the couch cushion.

“Another tour?” I raise my brows. “You’ve been on tour the last eight years.”

“That’s what happens when you’re a famous rockstar babe, you never stop….” he laughs, his voice low. “I’m thinking I’ll be out here a bit, actually, trying to convince the boys to stop a little, I want to see you more often.” I try not to let my reaction show on my face, but this is Duff, so I know I’m not exactly subtle.

I chew on the inside of my cheek as I think about it, about Duff, just half an hour away instead of across the world.

“Wow,” I breathe, smiling over at him. “I’d get to see you, then?”

“If you want to,” Duff shrugs, and I roll my eyes at him, reaching over and swatting at his arm.

We cover the basics with his hand on my knee: I moved to San Francisco alone, I work for a newspaper, and I’m a runner now. He’s been back on tour and he’s not going to go so far away again, and he’s thinking about stop touring a little bit.

Wow.

I slide my hand over his and look down at it, brushing my thumb against the back and humming softly as I look up at him, a smile on my lips.

“So you’re telling me,” I say, my voice soft, “you’re a big enough deal the boys to stop touring, what they’re supposed to be doing?”

Duff rolls his eyes, glancing down to our hands and then back up to mine, his gaze soft. I try to focus on anything other than the look in his eyes and settles on his mouth, chewing on the inside of my cheek, because I know it’s a mistake immediately. Bad things tend to happen when I look at Duff Mckagan’ mouth.

“I’m telling you I could do it,” he shrugs, and I watch intently as he runs his tongue over his lower lip, his fingers pressing lightly against my leg. “We’ll find out, I guess; Steven’ planning to go to rehab…” He probably saw my intrigued face, so he immediately keeps talking. “I’ll tell you in a bit about it.” He smiles at me and I nod. “Slash has two little annoying but cute kids… so he’s gonna be busy with that, and Izzy… Well Izzy fucking left the damn band, so there’s no problem with him.”

I nod, feeling my lips shift into a soft smile, Wow, it’s surprising how everything changed since the last time I saw him, every one of them were idk… almost 30 years old, playing and joking around, being drunk and high as fuck, I never… I mean, we never thought that the band was gonna become this famous.

“Well,” I say, “I’m happy for you, Duff. You’re all grown up.”

Duff laughs, pulling his hand from my leg and rubbing his hand over his jaw slowly, swallowing.

“We’re both grown up, honey,” he chuckles, and I let myself meet his gaze. I stuck in a slow breath, feeling how heavy his eyes are on mine, letting the feeling wash over me easily. “Easy to see that, right?”

I nod and sit up a bit, settling my hand on Duff’s forearm, brushing my thumb slowly against his skin.

“Easy,” I say my voice barely above a whisper. “Too easy.” I don’t know why sitting here with him like this makes me feel like I could cry.

I squeeze my eyes shut, sighing out a slow breath and tightening my grip on his arm.

“I really missed you. I know we,” I shake my head, “I know we covered that, kind of, but...god, Duff.” I swallow, heavy, keeping my eyes shut so I don’t have to look at him as the words tumble out of my mouth, “I really didn’t know if I would ever see you again, you know? No matter how safe you told me you were, you almost had a fucking overdose… too much alcohol, too much shit.”

Duff doesn’t say anything, but I feel him shifting on the sofa. I feel him scooting closer to me. His breath wisps over my skin, and I feel like I might be shaking. I should stop him – I knows I should, I knows it’s the right thing to do with all of us history, all of the feelings that stretch out between us – but there’s an ache in my chest that I don’t think will let me. I squeeze his forearm, holding onto it with my fingers and hear myself let out a soft noise as his nose touches mine.

“Babe,” he murmurs, and I nod, my eyes still squeezed shut. “I’m good; you don’t have to worry anymore.”

“I know,” I breathe out, and I slide my hand off his arm and slip my fingers into his hair. I pulling him towards me, kissing him in the way I had imagined doing for years, for a lifetime, even. I’d never kissed him like this, so tender and slow, so intentional, so full. I whine into it, feeling tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

It feels like my heart is whole, even for just a moment.

Duff’s always been the boy I turned to when I was hurting, always been the person who knew me the best, who could make me feel good. This, though, is different – this kiss isn’t sweet, childhood tenderness, its gut wrenching in the most wonderful way. My stomach twists into a knot and then settles as his arm wraps around my waist, my ears rush harshly as his tongue moves against mine, my heart pounds in my chest as I feel both of our cheeks, touch against each other.

This is Duff, the man, safe in his arms, telling me he’s here, telling me I’m his. He hasn’t said it, but I can tell...I can tell from the way he’s kissing me that this was him, standing on her doorstep, asking me to let him in and keep him.

For tonight, at least, I can do that.

I crawl into his lap and press my fingers into his hair, my thumbs dragging along his face, my breathing ragged against his skin.

“Duff,” I whisper, brushing my lips against his, “I have a bed.”

Duff’s breathing is possibly more laboured than my own as he slips his hand beneath the back of my t-shirt, his fingertips pressing lightly into my skin.

“I assumed,” he mumbles, his mouth praying for mine, “This is a big apartment.”

I nod in a smile, grinning against his lips;

“Want to,” I tip my face down, my forehead pressed to his as I move slowly in his lap, my lips just out of his reach, “take a look at it?”

Duff lets out a low laugh, nodding and mumbling,

“Smooth,” against my mouth as he keeps his arm locked around my waist. He stands up, lifting me with him, I wrap my legs around him as he settles me in his grip.

I direct him to the bedroom, settling my feet down on the ground and swallowing as my eyes fall on a picture frame settled on my nightstand.

“Shirt,” I breathe, looking at Duff, who’s sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at me with a dazed smile on his lips, “shirt off, rockstar.” He lets out a low laugh, and I takes a moment to flip the picture frame face down while his shirt is obstructing his view, then tugs at the hem of my own shirt before taking a step forward, pulling it off as I stations myself between his legs.

I settle my hands on his bare shoulders, dragging my hands down along his skin slowly, then moving it back up and cupping his face in my hands. I slide my thumb over his lower lip and hiccups, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

“God,” I whisper, letting my eyes move over his face, taking him in. I’d never felt so full before. My vision blurs as I watch him, feels his hands settle over my waist.

He had changed, years without seeing him… without feeling him, I missed his touch, his kisses, I missed him so bad.

“Honey,” he says, and his voice has that lilt to it – the what are you crying for lilt, and I don’t have an answer. I bit down on my lower lip, shaking my head and trying to stop myself. His hand reaches up to my cheek and I lean into his touch, feeling my tears seep onto his skin.

I want to tell him...about the photo, about the man in the photo, about the way their timing is truly, continually, terrible. Instead, I lean my face down and kiss his palm, swallowing hard as I hear his own breath going wet.

“Come here,” he says, his voice thick, low.

I don’t need him to say it twice. I crawl into his lap and he shifts them back onto the bed, his hands moving shakily along my skin.

He flips them and undresses me carefully, his eyes moving over every new part of me as it becomes exposed. He unhooks my bra and pulls it slowly down my arms, unbuttons and unzips my jeans and tugs them over my hips, hooks his fingers into the waistband of my panties and tugs at them, slowly, his lips pressing to my stomach as he does, the gasp tearing from my throat involuntary, I swear.

Something in my brain tugs, that I should be embarrassed, being so naked in front of this man who’s known me for my entire life, but no. I can’t be, with the way he’s looking at me, with the adoration and want in his eyes. I let my hands slide along his arms, breathing slowly as he looks at me, takes me in, and then I settle my fingers against his belt buckle.

“I can’t be the only one naked here, baby,” I say, my voice soft, and the smile on his lips is so soft that I feel my cheeks flush.

I unbuckle his belt shakily, watching as he gets himself out of his pants, pushes off his boxers. I bites on my lower lip at the sight of him, half-hard for me, then drags my eyes up to his face, smiling at the way his cheeks are flushed. I sit up a little, wrapping my hand around him gently, dragging my fingertips lightly along his length and shutting my eyes, leaning my forehead against his chest because I don’t think I can take the look on his face, the pure emotion rippling through him.

“Fuck,” he bites out, and his hand slides to the back of her neck, his thumb dragging along the base of it slowly. His voice is shaky when he says my name, and I twist my wrist slowly, smiling as I feel him growing harder in my hand.

Yes, honey, I know you like this.

He shifts my back on the bed, pressing my legs apart so he can settle between them and leaning down to kiss me, drawing his tongue slowly over my lower lip as his thumb drags over my inner thigh. The mixture of sensations has me shaking, already, and he hasn’t even touched me where I want him to yet.

He’s gentle with me, at first. His fingers press lightly against my wet folds, testing the waters, working slowly as I breathe out heavy sighs to keep myself calm.

He’s driving me crazy.

His lips press over my collarbone lightly, dragging against my skin slowly as he dips a finger into me, then another. He hums against the hollow of my neck as his thumb circles my clit lightly, and I feel my hips lifting off the bed to find more of him, knowing he isn’t giving it to me yet.

“Oh god-” I groaned.

I come apart on his fingers, shakily, one of my hands gripped tightly into his hair. His mouth is on my neck and I whine, searching for his face.

“I need you.” I breathe, and he lifts his head slowly, grazing his lips over mine.

“You keep driving me crazy as the first day we met.” he murmurs.

I stop him, slipping my tongue into his mouth. I can’t hear him, like this, not right now. I need him to fuck me, need him, before I get too rational and stop him entirely.

This is too much, I can feel it – I’m going to break the both of us, but I can’t possibly end it before I feel him, before I know what it’s like to have him inside me, again.

“Duff,” I moaned against his mouth, lifting my hips and hooking a leg around his waist, trying to pull him closer. “I need you.”

He nods, slow, just once, and I love him for it. I love that he isn’t trying to tease this out, that he’s listening to me, that we both want this so badly that dragging it along isn’t appealing at all. I slide my hands up to his face, holding it and keeping my eyes on him, my heart still hammering. He locks eyes with me as I feel his tip pressing at my entrance, and I suck in a hard breath, watching his face.

He cracks the softest smile, and I feel my resolve breaking.

“Duff,” I breathe, my voice full, my eyes stinging, “please.”

I want him in a way I can’t understand – it’s something about the way he knows me, I think, absently, as his eyes trail over my face, down my body.

It’s about the way he held my hand when I fell off the jungle gym and broke my arm when we were six, it’s about the way he shoved an old friend of mine for calling me a bitch when we were eleven, it’s about the desperate way he kissed me back in her car when we were sixteen, it’s about the way he made me and makes me feel right now. It’s about the fact that he’s the same Duff he’s always been, but something else altogether, too. The boy I’ve always known, and the man I’ve always wanted, hovering above me, about to make me his, even when I belong to someone else.

But I didn’t care.

One of his hands brushes my cheek, and I slide my own to press over his, to keep him there. I hold his gaze as he pushes into me, slow, filling me. I let out a soft laugh, turning my face into his hand and rolling my hips.

“Please,” I murmur against his skin, “I want to feel you, Duff.”

He’s slow, but not in a torturous way. His eyes stick on mine as he rocks his hips into mine, as the fingers of his free hand trail along my leg, over my hip, tracing little shapes. I feel him, all of him, and my legs tighten around his hips to keep him as close as I can. His strokes are long, deep, and I know neither of us is going to last long, regardless of the speed.

“As my queen commands.” Duff softly replied, smirking before kissing my lips deeply as he thrust deep inside me.

The sudden feeling of being filled with a cock as big as him made me cry out in pleasure breaking the kiss as my back arched, I felt his fingers holding my hips lightly, making the movements to go harder. His own groans of pleasure mixed with mine as they filled the room, he started to move slowly, taking his time as our lips re-joined together with our tongues dancing and warping round each other, as our hands roamed each other’s bodies just feeling blindly in a that need to be close.

I feel my walls constricted around him, he started to move faster and found that bundle of nerves that made me touch the sky with my hands, his moans made an echo in my ear, they were loud, he was really enjoying this, making me instantly lose all the control, all sense of who and where I was, right now it was just the two of us; the world outside didn't matter, the day ahead didn't matter everything I can focus on was in him and nothing was going to stop that.

“Oh shit babe, yes.- ” I moaned. “Keep doing that oh god-” I wrapped his curlers in my fingers holding him, his thrusts collided with my body causing a lack of control in all my senses, damn I had missed this.

His movements were wild and erratic but so perfect precise, he knew all the right buttons to press. I open my eyes again to see him above me, his face the clear picture of pleasure and need, I never had seen anyone become so desperate and undone for me. A man like him with such talent showing a side of himself only to me that so few ever got to see, but in truth he would only ever truly become this undone and this vulnerable for me.

My hands slid down from his hair, trailing down his back across his slightly sweating skin as they found that perfect ass of his. His lips moving to my neck again as tears of happiness, love and pleasure fell.

“Oh my sweet babe.” Duff moaned shakily as he continued thrust deep into me, all I could do was cry out with pleasure and need.

“Oh Duff I love you.” I gasp thrusting up to meet his own movement's.

He’s nothing like I’ve ever felt, before – there’s something about the presence of him, of his body over mine, of his eyes watching me, his breath mixing with my own.

“Babe,” he breathes, his face tipping down, his lips finding mine. I sat up a bit, my hips shifting to meet his, to hit at a new angle. I weave my fingers into his curly hair and grips onto it as I kiss him, our tongues pressed together as I feel the heat pooling in my stomach, knows I’m closer than I’d even like to admit.

His hand moves from my leg to dip between them, pressing against my clit slowly, tracing over my nerves delicately before finding a pattern. I can tell he’s close, too, his breathing getting heavier, his thrusts more erratic.

“C’mon babe” I murmur against his mouth, “I want to feel you, Duff, I want to know what you feel about me.” my words fade into a whine as I feel him pressing more firmly to my clit, rolling it between his fingers.

I come hard, around him, feeling him spill into me moments later, our moans mixing together as he presses me down into the mattress.

“Oh damn.” He moans loudly in my ear.

We lay still, for a long while. I scratch sleepily at the back of his neck, Duff start kissing my neck softly as we cling to each other, trying to calm down. He pulls out of me slowly, smiling to himself as I groan at the loss, and I hum as he lays back down, still pressing his weight down against me.

“You’re not allowed to go anywhere,” I whisper, my lips pressed against the side of his head, “until I say so.”

Duff nods. “Got it, you’re in charge,” he murmurs, “so nothing’s really changed, huh?”

I laugh, but I feel the pang in my chest, knowing the truth – because yes, almost everything really has changed, and he doesn’t even know the half of it.

I must fall asleep, because when I woke up it’s dark outside and I hear him moving around...somehow, I just knew in that moment that he knows, now. I sit up slowly, pulling the sheets to my chest and pressing my hand over her face.

“Duff?”

He pokes his head out of the bathroom and smiles at me softly. When he steps through the door, he’s got his boxers on, and I feel my heart clench in my chest.

“What’s his name, babe?” He sits on the edge of the bed and pull my hand from my face, lacing his fingers with mines. “He’s got some nice pomades, in there...expensive.”

“Duff,” my voice is hollow, I look up at him with pleading eyes. “I can explain all of this, okay?”

He nods, brushing his thumb over mine.

“I know,” he swallows, his voice thick. “What’s his name?”

I sigh out a breath and casts my eyes upwards, trying not to cry.

“Daniel…” I answer, quietly. “We’ve been...I moved in a few months ago, but it’s been a little over a year.”

I don’t let myself close my eyes, making myself look at him as he swallows, processing my words and looking around the room.

“You love him?”

“Duff,” I don’t know how to answer that question, not right now.

He’s been away for a while, and came here making me feel lost and complete at the same time, now I don’t even know where or who I am.

“Does he make you happy, hun? That’s,” he lets out a soft, wet laugh, “that’s really...what I’m asking you.” I nod, looking down at our hands. “Good.”

“I didn’t,” I croak, and I hate myself for it. “I didn’t know when you...if you,” I shake my head. “I didn’t know, Duff. I didn’t know if I...if–,”

“I didn’t want you waiting for me,” he supplies, shaking his head and looking at me, straight on. “I’m glad you didn’t, I... I slept with a lots of girls too… I can’t blame you for this.”

I feel desperate, scoots myself closer to him and settles a hand on his cheek.

“I’m not,” I breathe, wanting to press my face to his and hesitating. “You’re here, now, Duff.”

Duff nods, and bridges the gap. He presses his forehead against mine, finding my eyes.

“I’m not leaving,” he says, his voice low. “I told you,” he swallows, “I’m not gonna go away without you next time. If I convince the boys…damn.”

I nod.

“And I’ll be here,” I murmur. “But someone else is gonna be here with me…”

He shuts his eyes, squeezing my hand.

“For now,” he shrugs, “and maybe for good, but,” he opens his eyes and looks at me, fully.

My feels tear pooling in my eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere. I...I believe in this, babe. I wouldn't be here if I didn’t.”

I take a long breath, nodding slowly. I realize he doesn’t mean here, my apartment – he means here, in San Francisco...that he wouldn’t be considering this job if it wasn’t for me. I understand his meaning, here: I’m in charge.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and he shakes his head, but I stop him. “No, I should’ve told you.”

“His shoes were by the door, babe, I saw them.” he says, his voice soft. “I’m not an idiot.”

I feel something break in me, and I find Duff’s mouth, kissing him softly.

“God,” I laugh, my voice low, my lips pressed to his, “we really can’t get it right, huh?”

Duff kisses me, soft and slow, his tongue tracing my lip before he pulls away. He stands up from the bed and I watch, my eyes wide and soft as he moves around, grabbing his clothes and pulling them on.

“To be determined,” he decides, as he’s buckling his belt.

I chew on my cheek, getting out of bed and finding my robe. I wrap it around me and follows him out into the living room, watching as he grabs his duffel bag.

“You can stay,” I say, my voice hoarse, and he looks over his shoulder at me, shaking his head.

“I won’t leave,” he swallows, and I shut my eyes for a moment at his words. I nod.

“Okay,” I whisper. “So when will I see you?”

Duff sighs out a breath as he pulls the bag over his shoulder, then wraps his arm around my waist. He walks me over to the door before he pulls me against him, leaning his face down, kissing me softly.

“I’ll be here another week,” he says, his voice low, “and then...depending on things, I’ll be here for good. So,” he finds my eyes, “up to you, okay? You call me.”

I nod, my head spinning.

“Don’t disappear on me, okay?” I beg.

He shakes his head, softly, kissing me lightly.

“Promise, I won’t.” He replies.

I feel him pull his arms away, and I wrap my own around myself so I don’t do something stupid, like pull him back into my bedroom. I watch as he grabs the doorknob, opening the door and taking a step through it.

“Call me when you get to your hotel?”

He nods, leaning down and kissing me gently.

“I will,” he breathes against my mouth.

By the time I open my eyes, he’s gone. My phone buzzes on the kitchen island and my heart drops, but when I flip it over, it’s Duff.

‘Miss you already, you know that?’

I press it to my chest and shut my eyes, taking deep breaths – in part, to calm down, and in part, because I did.

[elliesguitarstrings]

Just Friends

Masterlist

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Summary: You and Tom haven’t seen each other since filming Uncharted, and you decide to surprise him at his Jimmy Kimmel interview. Although you’ve always been “just friends,” you can’t help but think there’s something more.

A/N: Hey y’all sorry it’s been a few days since I last posted, I’ve just been super stressed with school and stuff, but I actually really like this fic and I hope you guys like it too!

Warnings: Language, fluff, angst if you squint

WC: 2.4k

~~~~~~~~

It’s been months since you and Tom last saw each other in person.

While filming Uncharted, the two of you had become extremely close, hanging out in each other’s trailers and spending all of your free time together. In such a short period, you had become best friends, but neither of you could deny the spark of something more. Unfortunately, the two of you never got to explore that spark because of the short time limit. After wrapping, you and Tom went your separate ways, him to Atlanta to film Spiderman 3, and you back to your hometown for a well-deserved break.

That doesn’t mean you two haven’t stayed in contact though. You and Tom have texted and facetimed almost every day since you parted ways, or as much as his busy filming schedule allows. Throughout this time, however, you never seemed to discuss the obvious love connection between you two. Without actually speaking about it, you both seemed to agree that that conversation would be better to have in person.

This bring us to today, where Tom is backstage at Jimmy Kimmel, anxiously waiting for his interview segment of the show. He picks up his phone and decides to text you before he goes on to settle his nerves, wishing you were here to comfort him in person.

T: Are you watching the show yet?

Y: yep I already have my tv turned to abc! are you going on soon?

T: Yeah, I’m so nervous though

Y: why? you’ve been on the show before and you’re like amazing at interviews

T: Idk, Jimmy just said “be ready for a surprise” and he looked really suspicious so I’m scared

T: I just hope they don’t bring like Jennifer Aniston out or something because I would totally freeze and make a fool out of myself

Y: lmao that would be kinda funny tho, but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about

T: Okay we’ll see haha

T: Gtg I’m on in 10, I’ll facetime you after I’m done!

Y: kk, good luck tommy :)

T: Ahh thank you!!

What Tom doesn’t know is that you are ten times more nervous than him. While he’s under the impression that you’re sitting on your living room couch watching the show, you are actually in the dressing room down the hall from him.

Last month, when Tom told you he was going to be on Jimmy Kimmel to promote Cherry, you had the idea to surprise him. You emailed Jimmy not expecting a response, but to your surprise, he actually emailed you back and loved your idea.

So, here you are, waiting backstage and shaking with anticipation to surprise Tom. To be completely honest, you’re even more nervous now that you know Tom is expecting some big star like Jennifer Aniston, who you know has always been his biggest celebrity crush. But nonetheless, you shake off the nerves as best as you can, just hoping everything goes well.

“Please welcome our first guest… Tom Holland everyone!” you hear Jimmy’s voice over the speaker in your dressing room.

Now that Tom is on stage, you can safely leave the room without him seeing you, and you head to the side stage, waiting for your cue.

Tom and Jimmy talk about Cherry for a few minutes, and you can’t help but admire him. His voice, his face, his outfit, everything about him is just perfect. And even better, he’s here in person, closer than he’s been to you in a long time. It takes every ounce of self-control in you to stop yourself from running onstage and hugging him now. ‘Only a minute longer,’ you tell yourself.

“So, other than Cherry, what other upcoming projects are you working on?” Jimmy inquires onstage.

Almost there…

“Well, as most of you know,” Tom addresses the audience, “I’m filming Spiderman 3 right now, which has been going brilliantly. It’s definitely going to be the best one of all the Spiderman movies I’ve done. And I just wrapped on a film called Uncharted a few months ago in Berlin, which was so much fun.”

“Ooh, Uncharted, tell us more about that!"

“Yeah, well it’s based on the video game, and I play the main character, Nathan Drake, who’s on a quest throughout the film. It’s a lot like Spiderman in a way, with all the stunts and stuff, and I think it’s going to turn out great, I can’t wait to see it finished.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun! And if I’m not mistaken, you seem to have met a certain Y/N Y/L/N while filming?”

“Oh, Y/N, yeah, she’s great,” he starts to gush, and you immediately smile, “we became friends super fast, and I miss her so much. I wish she could be here right now, but she’s watching from home actually, so hey Y/N!” he looks directly at the camera and waves, as if he’s waving to you through the screen.

That’s your cue. You tiptoe onstage behind Tom, trying your best to shush the immediate gasps from the audience.

“Well Tom,” Jimmy smiles, “I think your wish may have come true.”

“Huh?” Tom looks around, confused, until his eyes land on you, and he completely freezes.

“Hey Tom,” you smile.

“Y/N! Holy shit! You’re here, you’re actually here!” he exclaims, not caring that he just cursed on live TV.

Tom immediately springs off the couch and sprints to you, arms outstretched. As soon as he reaches you, he picks you up in a tight hug and spins you around, both of you laughing. He sets you down, but still keeps you in a tight embrace, not pulling away until neither of you can breathe. He steps backwards to take you in, still trying to fathom that you’re actually here, with him, after all this time.

“Y/N, wha-, how? I thought you were at your house!” Tom can barely form a sentence, smiling wider than ever and completely out of breath.

“Eh, my house was boring. I thought it would be more fun here with you,” you smile.

He pulls you in again, whispering, “I missed you so fucking much.”

“You have no idea,” you whisper back, resting your forehead on his.

The two of you lock eyes, and for a moment, it’s like you are the only two people in the world. You both start to lean in, lips almost touching, when Jimmy interjects.

“Alright, you two, while that was very sweet, we do still have the rest of the show to get through, so why don’t you come sit down,” Jimmy laughs, bringing you and Tom back to reality.

“Right, of course,” Tom responds, trying his best to keep cool in front of the audience.

Tom ushers you to the couch, keeping one hand on the small of your back as he follows you. He keeps his arm around you when you sit, staying as close to you as possible without raising any more suspicions from the audience.

“So, you two, huh?” Jimmy smirks.

“What? Oh, no, Jimmy, we- we’re just friends,” you laugh trying your best to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks.

“I don’t know, that seemed like a little more than just friend behavior to me over there,”

“What do you expect, I haven’t seen her in half a year!” Tom exclaims, saving you from more embarrassment.

“Okay, okay, fine. Just friends,” he turns to the camera and winks, earning laughs from the audience.

“Anyways Y/N, we already talked about Tom, so tell us about you! How was your experience filming Uncharted?” thankfully, Jimmy moves on.

“Well, up until this point I had only really done small indie films, so it was definitely a major change. But Tom was so nice in helping me and it actually turned out to be such an amazing experience, probably the most fun I’ve ever had filming a movie…”

You go on for a few more minutes, talking to Jimmy about your role in Uncharted and your career in general, exchanging small glances with Tom, who just sat back and listened, completely entranced by you.

“Alright, well thank you so much for coming Y/N, it was great to have you! I’m afraid I have to keep Tom for a few more minutes for our next segment, but you’ll have him all to yourself soon enough,” Jimmy smiles.

You laugh, “Thank you so much for having me Jimmy, it was such a pleasure!”

You stand up and hug both Jimmy and Tom, giving Tom a small peck on the cheek before you walk offstage, waving to the audience as you leave.

You smile all the way back to your dressing room, completely overjoyed that you were successful in surprising Tom. As soon as you sat down on the small couch, not even two minutes after you walked offstage, your phone starts blowing up with notifications.

You see that your best friend texted you, so you check that first.

BFF: so you and tom huh? girl why didn’t you tell me?????

Y: what no???

Y: we’re just friends!!

BFF: that’s not what literally all of twitter thinks

Y: wdym? they don’t know anything

BFF: go check rn, i’m telling you they’re going batshit crazy over you two

You check Twitter and immediately see the fans already going crazy over you and Tom.

“just friends”????? bullshit did y’all see the way they almost KISSED?????

TOM AND Y/N I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP

did y’all see the way tom looked at y/n? he’s totally in love omg

UGH I’M SO JEALOUS AKSDHJSAHDSHD I WANT TO BE Y/N SO BAD

they’re so cute help omg

THE WAY Y/N FLEW OUT TO CALIFORNIA JUST TO SURPRISE TOM??? JUST FRIENDS MY ASS

Were you really being that obvious? You quickly call your friend, looking for some advice on what to do, and she picks up right away.

“Okay you were right, they’re going absolutely insane,” you start.

“I mean what do you expect y’all almost kissed on live tv!”

“Shut up.”

“Come onnnnn Y/N, I know you like him and he obviously likes you too so just talk to him! You already know that you two would be the cutest fucking couple ever. Plus you already have the approval of twitter what more could you need?”

You laugh, but you’re still hesitant.

“I don’t know, what if he doesn’t like me back?

“HE. ALMOST. KISSED. YOU. ON. LIVE. FUCKING. TELEVISON. I THINK HE LIKES YOU BACK BITCH!”

“Okay first of all we didn’t almost kiss, and second of all I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Plus how would I even tell him?”

“Okay YES YOU DID ALMOST KISS! And this isn’t middle school! Just tell him how you feel.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Think about what?”

You whip around and see Tom standing at your dressing room door.

“Fuck I gotta call you back,” you whisper, quickly hanging up the phone.

You turn back to Tom, still standing in the doorway.

“How much of that did you hear?” you ask, blushing profusely.

“Um, all of it I think,” Tom looks down and you immediately start to freak out.

Tom, however, looks back up at you and smirks.

“So you like me huh?”

You stay silent for a moment, a billion thoughts running through your head. You contemplate denying it and staying just friends with Tom. But then you think back to what your best friend told you just a second ago.

“Just tell him how you feel.”

“Yeah Tom. I like you. And not as a friend. This isn’t really the way I intended on telling you, and I get if you don’t feel the same way, but the way I feel about you isn’t just platonic. There’s a connection between us that I felt since the day we met and I can’t help but think that you feel it too. And then today it just got, like, ten times stronger and I-“

Tom promptly cuts you off by cupping your jaw and placing his lips on yours, sending a rush throughout your entire body. His lips feel like heaven, moving ever so gently against yours, and again, it feels like you two are the only people on Earth. The kiss is warm and loving, and although it doesn’t last long, the moment has already been engraved in your mind for eternity.

He pulls back, looking into your eyes, making sure he hasn’t made a mistake, but you only stare back at him ten times more lovingly.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” he whispers.

“Me too,” you whisper back.

He takes your hands in his, “Y/N, I do feel that connection, and I want us to be more than just friends. I always have.”

As much as you are relieved that Tom feels the same way, you can’t help but worry.

“What about the distance? Are you sure we can handle that?”

“Of course we can,” Tom assures you, “I don’t care how far away we are from each other, I love you, and I’m never letting any amount of distance take that away.”

“But these past few months have been so hard without you, and we haven’t even been dating, I just- I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”

“Then move in with me. Come to London and live with me!”

“Okay,” you grin.

“Wait, really?” Tom questions, taken aback.

“Yeah, why not? I mean, obviously we won’t be able to be together all the time because of our jobs, but it’ll be the closest thing.”

“Are you sure? That’s a big commitment to move that far.”

“I’m positive Tom. You’re my best friend, and now, I guess you’re my boyfriend,” you giggle, “I love you too, and I want to be with you, even if that means moving thousands of miles to London.”

Tom smiles, “You called me your boyfriend.”

“Shut up you dork, come here.”

You pull him in for another kiss, still feeling like you’re floating. Your lips once again move perfectly together, as if they’re made for each other. You’re completely consumed in him, and him in you, and in this moment, you know that he is the only one for you. In this moment, you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and only him, and it’s the best feeling in the world.

~~~~~~~~

Taglist: add yourself to my taglist here!

Strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you :(

All: @pxkajesus @hollanddolanfangirl @roseke @agentsofparker @lifeasjazzz @damnrancidchicken @loopyolivia @iwannabekilledtwice @rafehogwarts @non-eexistent @rosiexx8 @nearlydanger9 @realityisabitch07 @midgardassassins @jbreenr @cap-marvxl @ellesmythe @deepestcolorgiantopera @that-one-person @clandestine-nerd @nevertrustapanda16 @ohabbyoh @rxmanxff @bubbleskz @quinn-spn58 @baby-pogue @strangebouquetqueen @thatforgottenangel-blog @pjmjams @tiredstudenttrinity @isabella-bby @i-will-take-care-of--you @hollandprkr @ladykxxx08 @white-wolf1940 @runawayolives @geekgirleve @thathurtbrolol @lost-girl24 @aayaissaa @heyiheardyouwereawildone36 @justafangirlduh @emistrash