#so you could say I’ve been in quite an dilemma lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

weepingvoidpenguin · 4 years ago

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Unfortunately Yours

Summary: When you and Bucky successfully infiltrate a HYDRA auction, you’re told to stay another day due to max capacity on the jet. But how are you going to survive a night alone with this insufferable Super Soldier? Especially considering the miniscule size of the room and the obvious dilemma presented; who gets the bed?

Warning: S M U T , the smuttiest thing I’ve ever written, language, spit kink, daddy kink, ptsd symptoms, slight voyeurism, slight exhibitionism, hate-s e x, rough, more like enemies-to-lovers kind of thing, gagging, m!receiving, f!receiving, lots of receiving lol, 18+, M

Word Count: 10.6K (Whhhyyyyy)

Your body burned with exhaustion and the sheer weight of your extremities felt enough to drag you to the floor and mirror a coma with the length of your hibernation. You no longer had the minimal strength required to pick up your feet properly which resulted in the sound of shuffling to fill the small, and by small you meant miniscule, room you’d been assigned to.

Well, you and Bucky had been assigned to.

You’d both played your parts well enough over the course of the last few hours. You’d sauntered into the ran-shacked looking bar with Bucky’s arm tossed lazily over your shoulder, his distaste for the assignment evident on his face, but he’d cleared it away the second his foot crossed the threshold. He pulled you in tighter to his body and raised his chin into the air, emitting the energy of a man not to be trifled with. You’d portrayed your role as a damsel just as, if not more, convincing as Barnes’ opposite. Your shoulders hunched over and your steps were small and quivering, the wig on your head a tool used to curtain the hair in your face.

You were the lamb to this White Wolf.

Word had traveled through the dark and twisted grapevine that a certain showing of sorts took place tonight and a high-ranking target was rumored to be amongst its audience. You and Barnes were on the first flight to Germany within minutes.

Bucky had pulled you through the crowd moving along to the thundering music in the background and halted at the edge of the bar. His grip on your shoulder tightened once he’d caught the man’s attention and you winced, his fingers digging a little too deep for your liking.

The bartender scanned you over and took in your frame, making you feel smaller than you had already displayed yourself to be. It took him a while to conclude but when he took in Bucky’s domineering gaze, a look as if to say Deny me, I dare you, he nodded once and wrote something down on a napkin, sliding it over to Bucky.

Scum. All of them.

You nearly blew your cover trying to throw Bucky a look but you refrained from the hellfire clawing its way out of you. You had to be perfectly in control, emotions and beliefs aside. You were a damsel and you had to make certain they believed that. You knew they were watching; they always were.

“Relax,” Bucky hissed, pulling you under his arm and bringing his lips to your ear.

“When you pretend you’re the one being put up for auction, then you can tell me to relax,” you muttered, never looking up from the ground.

“I have been.” When you paused your movement, he pulled away to scan the room, “Nothing’s gonna happen to you. I promise.” He led you backstage and turned the corner to a dimly lit hallway, barren of any decoration in sharp contrast to every other section of the building, “Besides, once they realize how insufferable you are, they’ll be begging me to take you back,”

He opened an iron door and pushed you into the room, sending you tumbling down onto the carpet. He tsked, stepping over you and not looking back after shutting the door behind himself. You counted thirteen pairs of feet and judging by the way some of them were turned towards you, they had to be watching. You observed your hands for a second, counting slowly until you figured you’d stalled long enough and sent your trembling gaze to the exit. Bucky let out a low chuckle and clasped his hand around your upper arm, launching you back onto your feet and twisting your body to face him.

Oh, darling, German fluently escaped his tongue and you nearly rolled your eyes at the condescending tone settled in his words, You know better than that, don’t you?

His hold tightened and you winced, holding back the whimper in your throat. If you saw any hint of a bruise forming on your arm, you would give him hell later . . . and possibly even if you didn’t.

You bit your tongue and let him lead you towards a leather chair before he pulled you swiftly down onto his lap where his hand remained on your thigh, brushing the inside softly. Had you not been so annoyed, you’d have been humiliated at all the stares devouring the scene unfolding before them.

Good girl, he drawled and pressed your back flat up against his chest where he could put you on display.

You knew you should’ve been annoyed, or at least settled so into your role as his temporary whore-for-sale that the sensation coming alive between your thighs shouldn’t have made an appearance. But sometimes, the way Bucky brought his voice down real low and cooed an insult or jest your way just had an affect that your body would not deny. It kept you awake a lot.

Instead, you swallowed hard and let yourself be splayed against him. You ignored the scent of sandalwood in his cologne.

Your body trembled from the cold breeze floating around in the room and you shifted in Bucky’s lap to block everyone’s sight from the way your chest reacted to the change in temperature.

Don’t be shy, he murmured and removed your arms from your breasts, letting the thin, practically see-through fabric show you to the world.

“Buc-” You started, your panic creeping through the cracks at the cheshire sneers sent your way, but at the first sign of your discomfort, he retracted his hands and twisted you around gently, throwing your legs over the side of the chair and spreading them but forcing your upper half to face him. Effectively, cutting your chest off from their line of sight.

You trembled out a sigh and he grabbed your face tightly, drawing your eyes to his. He examined you, his hardened gaze shouting words he couldn’t currently say. But you understood. He could be a jerk, but he wasn’t a bad man.

Your body instinctively leaned into him for warmth as another breeze engulfed you, resulting in a shiver that made its way up your spine. “Are they still looking?” you inquired and he gripped your neck with a ferocity that made you squirm in his lap. Fuck.

He pulled your ear to his lips and licked the helix. You whimpered. “No,” he whispered, running his thumb along your jawline, “But if you don’t quit fucking squirming you’re gonna have a problem, Doll,”

You opened your mouth in question when you felt a sudden twitch on your backside and you swallowed. Hard. He never broke eye contact with you, instead choosing to raise a brow in mocking. Your chest heaved up and down and how you could feel his breath grazing on your cheek almost had you rubbing your legs together for some form of desperate friction. No, you had to keep yourself composed, keep the act going. But he’d seen it. All of it.

You nod your head and slowed your breathing down until he released his grip around your throat and turned his attention towards the dim stage. You leaned back into him and followed suit, making sure to keep your attention downcast and appear disheveled.

“There,” Bucky whispered after a few minutes and you lifted your head only to find the man you had come all this way for walking straight towards you.

Like a moth to a flame.

“How much?” The older man inquired, his grotesque gaze settled on your spread legs.

Bucky looked up at the balding man as if this was the first time he’d noticed his presence, “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?”

The man lifted his brow, or what would’ve been, and smiled wickedly, “I’ll give you double your price if you give her to me now,” he offered, his eyes slithering up to the apex of your thighs and this time you didn’t have to fake the shiver running up your spine.

A small smirk formed on Bucky’s face and he waved his hand dismissively at him, “Get in line,”

The old man sneered but Bucky was right, most everyone had their attention fixated on what was happening currently and it was apparent there was, indeed, a line.

Bucky rested his gloved hand on your upper thigh and gripped tight, whether to refrain from hitting the guy or just to touch you, he wasn’t sure but he couldn’t keep you away when the man said, “I’ll give you four times the asking price but I want her now,”

Bucky’s grip on your thigh tightened and you squeaked at the pain, jumping slightly in his lap. “How about I give her to you for free for ten minutes and you tell me if you can handle her,”

You jerked your head towards Bucky and furrowed your brows. Free? Dick. You nearly scoffed.

The man gripped onto your calf and you shifted to kick his hand away when Bucky’s own shot out and and ripped his off of you, “Don’t touch my stuff,” he spit and the man let out a yell but that only spurred Bucky on and he tightened his fist, “Until terms are agreed upon, she remains mine to do with as I please. Understood?”

The man nodded hastily and Bucky threw you off his lap when he stood up. “Anyone else?” Bucky shouted to the room, daring others to test his limits when it came to you. After a few moments of silence Bucky scoffed, “I didn’t fucking think so,”

Bucky’s grip on the man remained and he stared down at the hunched figure, “Now, you,” he addressed and the room remained silent. This was allowed here.

Normally, merchandise couldn’t be touched until it was purchased. No buying before the auction, no discussing what you’re offering, no negotiating but most importantly don’t try to steal from anyone. These are criminals and that being said, they handle things amongst themselves. They know the rules and the risks they take breaking them.

So, when Bucky drags the poor bastard away, you follow right behind him. Not a protest to be heard. Bucky throws open the door we entered through and finds the nearest room before chucking the HYDRA agent inside and locking the door behind you.

The room was brightly lit, with all four walls a dull cream color and dark brown couches strewn casually about. There’s no real order to this place. All cement corners and LED bulbs. Pure business.

“Let ‘em know,” Bucky orders and you turn around to argue only to find the man pulling a gun out of his jacket pocket.

You jerk suddenly and kick Bucky square in the stomach, launching him towards one of the couches just as a shot rings out. You blanch at the sound, the noise filling your head and drowning everything else out. You hear yelling but you can’t make out the words, only the panic intermingled within them. Your hand reaches out around you and you grip the small button lined into your thin clothing, pressing it four times how you’d been instructed.

Everything moved slowly and people began filing into the room. How did they get here so fast? No. It wasn’t possible, they were a quarter mile down the road, there was no way they were your backup.

Hands began flying in the air and you were picked up and dropped multiple times, each time landing harder than the last. You tried to blink back the spinning but the blows landing on your face and torso made it all the worse.

Instinctively, you threw your hands up to protect your face and fought to find some footing to help. Bucky was good but he wasn’t a God, he would need help. When the first blow met your forearms you reached out to grasp the hand and used your other to drive your fist right into the person’s nose. The bone crunched under your blow.

You took a hit, then another when you managed to analyze the enemy’s fight pattern and waited until he left himself open before driving your knee into his rib cage. He bent over in pain and you grabbed him by the hair, hearing another crack when you shoved your elbow upwards against his nose.

You heard a shout and whipped your head over to see Bucky on his back, a looming figure with a gun aimed straight towards him. You galvanized towards them and threw yourself in the air, using your weight to kick him off of Bucky when another shot rang out.

Bucky shot up and crushed the gun with his metal arm. You scoured the room for the familiar HYDRA agent but found him nowhere. You shot out of the room, knocking into an opposing wall as you turned the corner and ducked when the sound of a bullet whizzed past you.

This is not going good. You had lost your target and rummaged through room after room until you’d become lost. Fuck. Where the hell did he run off to? You winced after breaking out into a sprint but pressed on, not allowing yourself to slow down. There was no way you were going to fail this mission, especially after coming so close to success.

Sweat trailed down your face and your muscles screamed at you to halt, their exhaustion beginning to wear you down. Your breathing grew rapid and your vision blurred and just as you went to lean on a wall to rest, your shoulder exploded out in pain and you collapsed with a cry.

“Dirty whore,” the HYDRA man seethed, a cane raised over his head. He brought it down and you spun to the side, feeling the air breeze past your ear.

Your hand latched onto the cane and you shoved it into his gut, pushing him away. SHIELD wanted this guy alive, so alive they would receive him. That didn’t mean he had to come in one piece though.

You tore the walker out of his hand just as he tumbled onto his ass. You stood up, grunting along the way and hovered over his body, fear sprawled along his features.

“You can either stay still or get beat with your own cane, it’s your choice,” you offered, aching to bring the walker down onto his face. “Please test me. Please.” You begged.

His gaze shifted between you and the weapon and he brought his trembling hands up in defeat. He must’ve been an agent of some Intelligence branch because his fighting abilities were evidently subpar at best.

You sighed, sad to see the opportunity go but brought the cane down none the less. “That’s unfortunate,”

You turned your attention to the sound of running coming around the corner and moved to drag and hide your captive in a nearby closet only to roll your eyes when Bucky came ‘round. You tossed the cane back and forth between your hands and smiled proudly towards the agent on the floor.

“Look who I caught,” you toyed and were met with a grunt.

“Only because you let him get away,” he retorted, pulling the balding man up to his feet.

Everything began to slow and the hellfire you’d kept under mounds of ice had finally melted through its freezing cage. “What?”

He turned his back towards you and trudged the hesitant man behind him towards the exit.

“I said,” you hollered, not caring how the halls carried your echo, “What?”

“I heard what you said,” he called back to you, not bothering to turn around.

And there you were left, frozen and dumbfounded for five solid minutes before you could pull yourself together enough to stomp your way back towards the rendezvous point. You remained hazy for the most part while debriefing. You tried to recount everything but the way your anger engulfed you in its flame obscured your memory so you kept it short.

It was quickly brought up that SHIELD captured more HYDRA agents than expected and were gonna be at max capacity so you and Bucky had to stay at a base a few miles down the road. You grumbled in compliance but Bucky didn’t respond, not even a godforsaken grunt.

What SHIELD had failed to mention though, was that this bunker was clearly meant for one. It barely counted as a room. There was a small bathroom in the corner just big enough for a shower and toilet. No sink. And a small counter with just enough space for a stove, microwave and radio. If you were to lay down vertically or horizontally you’d nearly be touching wall each way. Not to mention the singular bed.

And that’s how you got to where you were now. Miniscule room. Exhausted body. Drained mind. Patience long gone.

You huffed and dropped your bag in front of the entrance before walking to the bathroom and turning to slam the door closed. You turned the faucet on and ripped the wig off, discarding your clothes in a pile before stepping into the shower. The warm water was nice and welcoming but your body already felt aflame so you twisted the knob and held your breath when the cold stream trickled down your body. It was difficult to breathe at first, but your body soon adjusted to the temperature and you began wiping the muck off your skin with the bar of soap supplied. But that’s all the was supplied. Clearly, this place was meant to be a quick pit stop.

You sat on the hard floor as the water streamed onto your body. You could nearly fall asleep to its rhythm; It was only when your head hit the wall that you realized you were so you begrudgingly stood up and shut off the water. You grabbed the only towel in the bathroom and pat yourself dry, noticing just then that you left your clothes outside.

You let out a long sigh and twisted open the doorknob to find Bucky toying with the radio on the counter; not even purposefully, just looking for something to do while he waited.

You opened your mouth to ask him to hand you your bag but after what he said to you earlier you’d sooner eat hot coals than ask him to do anything for you. You stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped neatly around your chest and you bent over to open your bag. The shuffling on the radio stopped.

“You could’ve at least left me some warm water,” he grumbled and you rolled your eyes.

You searched in your bag for the fresh clothes residing there only to turn around when you found them and have the bathroom door shut in your face.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You shouted, pounding your fist against the door.

You could hear the water running and you groaned, pounding harder. The door opened for a split second and you were hit in the face with the clothes you’d left inside only for it to instantly be slammed shut again.

You punched the door with all the frustration built up over the past few hours and felt the wood crack with your force. Why did this man have to be incredibly baffling? You were not nearly paid enough to deal with such an unbearable partner. He would have you bald from stress before you knew it.

You spent the next few minutes grumbling to yourself after you changed and scribbled your frustration onto a small notebook you took with you everywhere. It was only when you heard the water shut off did you remember something. You still had the only towel. A villainous smirk tugged at your lips and you placed the folded towel on the edge of the bed, away from the door.

Then you heard the creak. “I will walk out naked if you don’t give me the towel,” Bucky threatened.

You shrugged despite him not being able to see you from your position on the bed, “I’ll just laugh at your dick,”

“You weren’t laughing earlier,” he shot back.

Oh. So he did remember. Good. You thought he’d gotten amnesia within the past few hours, maybe he was just too ashamed to mention it.

“Too disgusted to insult. Plus, I was playing a character,”

“Fine,” he responded and quickly came into view, haughtily sauntering over to your side and you shouted.

“Dear God!” You held the towel up to block your sight of his barren body. It was disgusting. He was all wet, hair dripping onto his muscled torso, water gleaming off his taut skin, 5 o’clock shadow drenched and straight out of a wet dream. Jesus.

“Prude,” he commented, snatching the towel from your grasp and wrapping it around himself.

“Respectable,” you corrected, crossing your arms and shoving him away. “You get the floor,”

He lifted his duffle off the ground and rummaged through it. “Then I get the blanket,”

“You get fuck all,” you stated, flipping off the lamp beside you and snuggling into the warm cot.

When the shuffling stopped and the bathroom light was shut off, you shut your eyes and let the wear of the day grab at you, lulling you into the beginning of slumber. That is, until the blanket was hauled from around you, damn near throwing you onto the floor. You shouted out and caught yourself last minute.

“Barnes!” You yelled, steadying yourself and reaching over the edge to grab the blanket back. Your hand fisted at the faux fur and you pulled with all your might to no avail.

He swatted you away as though you were a pesky fly and reached over to turn the light of the lamp on. You glowered at him and stood, wrapping the blanket around your arm and pulling upwards. Your arm strained to its capacity but the man on the floor didn’t budge. Only turned his back to you and shut his eyes. You reached over yourself and flipped the switch of the lamp, once again immersing yourself in the comforting darkness.

Bucky stiffened and opened his eyes then turned and froze you in your spot with his stare. He reached around and lit the lamp, slowly retracting his arm and daring you to turn it off again. So you did.

He yanked the blanket from your grasp and threw you back onto the bed, bringing light into the room. “Light stays on,” he growled.

“No! You’ve had your goddamn way since you stepped foot into this room. Light goes off and I get the blanket!” You shouted, not concerned about anyone else hearing considering the room was soundproof.

“No. You get the bed so I get the blanket. Tell me how that doesn’t make sense,” he countered.

You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of admitting that it did, in fact, make sense. The floor here was wooden and clearly uncomfortable, plus he hadn’t even argued about the bed situation.

You retreated, “Fine, light still goes off,”

“No,”

“Yes,”

Silence fell between the two of you but you weren’t budging. Barnes had faced plenty of monsters, he could handle the dark.

“I need the noise to fall asleep,” he admitted and it was then you could hear the slight hum the bulb emitted.

You didn’t speak for a while but reared back and pulled out your phone, “What do you want to listen to?” You scrolled through a few sounds you had stored on your phone, “We’ve got: nature sounds, frequencies, guided meditations, etc. You name it, but I’m not sleeping with this forsaken light on,”

Bucky studied you, his expression changing a mile a minute but the one of indifference conquered, “Rain,”

You nodded once and selected the audio, placing the phone face up on the nightstand and turning the light off for the last time. Hopefully. You hunkered down into the thin mattress and reached down, grasping at the thick blanket. When you pulled, there was some give. He’d let you get just enough needed to cover your body if you laid at the very edge and your hand hovered in the air when you laid your arm over the side.

Minutes flew by with your eyes shut and the exhaustion slithered over your body but your mind ran wild with the events from earlier. You tried not to get angry or sad or . . . bothered. Your breathing deepened when you began to succumb to your body’s fatigue and you drifted inch by inch into the welcoming void lulling your name.

You didn’t hear when he shifted, only managed to register the faint tracing of his fingertips on your hand before finally giving out.

You weren’t sure what time it was when you opened your eyes for the first time that night. This regularly happened. You’d wake up multiple times during the night to shift positions or throw off the sheets, no matter how insignificant the desire, your body always found a way to wake you for it.

You opened your eyes slowly to a hazy vision and blinked at the sitting figure on the floor, “Bucky?” You croaked, bringing a hand up to wipe at your face, “What time is it?”

“It’s almost one, go back to sleep,”

“What are you doing?” You persisted, ignoring his demand and sitting up slowly, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Couldn’t,”

A heartbeat. Then another. And another. He didn’t care to elaborate.

“Do you want the bed?” You offered, stretching yourself out and already placing yourself down on the floor, “It’s too hot up there, anyway,”

His attention turned to you for the first time but you’d already began closing your eyes, not really having the energy to argue with him. You could hear shuffling from his spot and the ground disappeared below you, strong hands grasping your body and lifting you up to place you gently back onto the cot.

“I prefer the floor,” he insisted, wrapping the blanket around you, “Besides, you’re a horrendous liar,”

You didn’t hold back the singular chuckle, your haze still enveloping you. “Then why aren’t you sleeping?”

He sat at the foot of the bed, his hand hovering over your leg in hesitation, “It’s complicated.” He dropped his hand to his side.

“Isn’t the rain helping?” you mumbled, your sight now adjusting to the dark.

“Yes,”

“Then what?”

“I just . . . don’t want to wake you,”

“Well, I’m already awake if that makes you feel better,” you jeered, a small smile forming on your lips.

“It doesn’t,”

“Nothing does,” you retorted, the inevitable annoyance you always felt when conversing with him already made its way up into your tone.

He scoffed and stood from the bed, placing himself in the same spot on the floor with his head leaned up against the wall and his arm resting on his perched knee.

“Oh, so now you can’t handle a little attitude,” your tone came out incredulous, “You didn’t have any issues earlier when you blamed me for that guy’s escape. Which, he didn’t even get to do, might I add,”

“I was projecting,” he replied, gaze still focused on the door opposite to him.

You blinked, “Are you so tired that you’re actually admitting to being a dick?”

“I know I can be a dick, but you threw yourself straight into the line of fire twice today. So I don’t really give a shit if I was mean to you,”

“I only did that because you almost got shot twice today. Don’t take your anger out on me for your incompetence. Just say ‘thank you’ and move on already,”

“Incompetence?” His head jerked in your direction. “What was incompetent was that you couldn’t keep yourself composed,”

You sat up. “What in the hell are you talking about? My behavior is what got our target to basically give himself up to us! It was me that trapped him, not you!” His composure tensed and you crossed your arms over your chest, “You’re just mad your dick got hard so if anything you’re the one who couldn’t keep their compos-” His hand was wrapped around your throat and you were pinned to the mattress before you could finish your sentence.

“Shut the fuck up,” he hissed at you, his face mere inches from yours.

“Why?” You spoke hoarsely around his tightening grip, “Does the Big Bad Wolf not like that he was turned on? Who’s the prude now?”

“Turned on?” He spat, his free hand resting by your head to cage you in, “You think what you did earlier turned me on?”

You grasped at the hand around your throat and pried slightly to speak, “Fight me or fuck me, Barnes. But stop lying to yourself, it’s getting old,”

The room seemed to freeze over and Bucky paused. His hesitation was enough to elicit the fire from earlier and your legs squirmed a little underneath him. God, you hoped he chose the latter.

Then his lips crashed against yours.

You squeaked at the sudden onslaught but threw your arms around his shoulders and pulled him in tighter against you. He dropped when you intertwined your legs, his full weight pressing against you deliciously. You ground up against him, your core aching from the previous hours and the small friction elicited a moan from the both of you.

“So impatient,” he scolded, bringing the hand from around your throat down to your hips and pressing you into the bed. “What a whore,”

His breath danced along your cheek and you mewled at his words. Gods, he was going to be the death of you. Or the beginning.

You breathed in deeply, his sandalwood scent intoxicating you in a manner that alcohol never could. When you drank, you were just drunk. But when you took a sip from the tall glass that was Bucky, it brought you to life. Your body sang melodies wherever you were plastered against each other and your skin burned with need.

Touch me, your body screamed, touch me.

“Fuck off,” you groaned and Bucky jerked your head to the side, exposing your neck for him to scavenge.

The goosebumps that danced across your skin when he ran his warm tongue up from the curve of your neck to the bottom of your ear brought an arrogant smirk onto Bucky’s face. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged when he reached a particularly sensitive spot that had your legs shaking when he kissed it sloppily.

Your mouth hung open in silent pleasure and your breaths were short and rapid, your body betraying all forms of control you previously had over yourself. The hand that wasn’t residing in his hair trailed down his muscled arm and you gripped at the brawn this man possessed. His skin reminisced lightly of silk despite the rough texture of his hands.

The same hands that now made its way into your hair and tugged at the strands at the base of your neck, jolting your chin higher into the air. Your grip tightened around his biceps and the strength they emitted sent a pool rushing to your core. You continued hunting until you found the hem of his black, cotton shirt and you made your way up his taut abdomen. You let out a sigh and he jumped lightly at the sensation of your cool fingertips across his scorching skin. It was a nice contrast for him.

You gripped at the shirt and hastily ripped the cotton upward. Bucky broke away from his descent down to your chest to let you remove the fabric and you’d suddenly wished you’d turned the lights on first. He mimicked your action and tossed your shirt in a deserted corner of the room to potentially be abandoned. You gasped when the cold air of the room grazed upon the perked mounds of your breasts.

His lips returned to their spot on the dip of your neck and his tongue slithered down in between your breasts. Your breath hitched when his wet muscle made its way up to the apex of your chest. His right hand mirrored his tongue and swirled around your nipple, his teeth pulling eagerly every so often and you hissed at the delectable pain. Your eyes devoured the scene unfolding on your chest and you reached over to flick the light on, desperate for a clearer image.

Bucky halted and his metal arm reached over to switch the light back off but you swatted his hand away and he backed up lightly, his irritation evident on his face.

“I want to watch,” you grumbled and shifted up to bring your lips back up to his. He let you. He pushed back lightly with his own lips and leaned in sync with your movements. He parted his mouth slightly and you followed suit, letting him lead his way into yours with the same muscle he’d just had flicking across your breasts.

The light went off.

You pushed him away and shot towards the switch but metal met your wrist firmly enough to keep you in place. “Bucky.” You wrestled against his hold and turned your full attention back to the figure hovering above, “I want to see you,”

Despite the darkness, you noticed his mouth twitch but his grip on your wrist remained solid. You sprawled back onto the bed and wrapped your free hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down onto you, pressing his surprisingly soft lips onto yours. You broke apart, his lips a hair’s breadth away from your own. “I want to see you,”

He didn’t move, only scanned your face over a few times and you brought him back down into a kiss. This one wasn’t like before. This one was warm, soft, patient. A ballet compared to its previous mosh pit. He danced along with you, an admission hidden somewhere in his tenderness.

You hadn’t realized you’d been freed of his hold until you were wrapping that arm over his shoulder and the sound of a light humming began.

“Fucker,” you jeered and the previous gentleness dissipated.

“Shut up,” he ordered, pinning you back onto the bed and resumed his ministration on your breasts.

The moan slipped past your lips at the sight and your chest heaved upwards, desperate for more stimulation. You licked your lips at how his mouth encased your nipple, his tongue flicking against the perked skin and you dropped your head back, shutting your eyes. You centered all of your attention anywhere that his bare skin touched your body and rubbed your aching clit against his v-line.

Your chest was pressed against the mattress before you could register what happened and the hard smack that met your ass evoked a yelp. Bucky pressed fully against your backside and he ground his dick down into your ass. He groaned at the sensation and you raised your ass onto him. You yelped again when Bucky ripped your leggings down and smacked the exposed skin on your ass.

“Try something like that again and I’ll gag you around my cock ‘til you’re crying,” he growled, “Understood?”

You nodded, wide-eyed and a mewling mess from the threatening promise of this God.

“Good girl,” he cooed, rubbing at the raw skin. “Now stay still for Daddy,”

Bucky’s hand lingered on your reddening ass and the mattress dipped when he shifted to your side. He traced gentle circles onto your backside and pressed his lips on your shoulder blade, the butterfly kisses making their way down towards your spine and then lower. Your breathing grew uneven from the sheer amount of restraint you displayed. Your grip on the edge of the bed tightened when his tongue dragged from the point where your thigh and ass met all the way up to the bottom of your spine.

“Fuck,” You shuddered, white-knuckling the blanket beneath you.

Your skin blazed when you were met with another harsh slap. You mewled at the sensation, loving the fire that spread across your flesh and relaxed when his metal hand cooled the area.

Then his teeth bit into the cooling flesh and you jerked away despite yourself. Bucky tsked lowly and you chuckled at the hint of fear sprouting in your chest; you did not want to see whatever sinister expression resided on his face.

A strong hand gripped the roots of your hair and hauled you up. You followed his direction and knelt onto the ground between Bucky’s sprawled out legs, settling in your new position.

“Oh, Doll,” he chastised, “you were so close,”

“That shouldn’t count,” you retorted while Bucky pulled the blanket off the bed and lifted you up with his metal arm, shoving the barrier between your knees and the hard ground.

“But it does.” His hands dove into his underwear and sprung his cock out onto your lips. “Now get to work,”

Your eyes widened at the sight before you and you had to physically hold back from gulping. You were ashamed to admit your mouth watered in anticipation. You lifted your hands from his sculpted thighs and wrapped them around his length, enveloping just the tip past your parted lips. Bucky sighed and twitched in your mouth.

You welcomed him in fully, or as much as you could anyway, and got straight to work, not bothering to act abashed at your desire. Your tongue swirled around his tip and you leaned into him until he hit the back of your mouth but you continued on, gagging around him when he’d gotten inside your throat. Bucky groaned when your throat tightened around him and he threw his head back, using his flesh hand to guide you up and down his shaft, showing you what he liked and didn’t.

“Fuck, Doll,” he groaned, “Just how I imagined your mouth would feel,”

You pulled off him to comment when he shoved you all the way down to the hilt and you threw your hands up onto his thighs to hold yourself back. He used his metal arm to hold himself up and thrusted up into your salivating mouth desperately. He continuously hit the back of your throat and thick saliva coated his cock. Just as he promised, tears prickled at the corners of your eyes and he didn’t stop until your cheeks were drenched in the liquid.

You let your jaw hang open, your tongue no longer swiveling around meticulous spots that you knew would make his legs buckle. No, you let him have the reigns. Let him fuck your mouth ‘til your throat grew bruised and jaw ached with fatigue. You committed his cries of pleasure to memory, the sounds euphoric to your ears.

He lifted his head and stared down at you with half-closed eyes. He was in heaven and you knew it. He watched you, how the tears trailed down, how your hands gripped at his thighs, how you stuck out your tongue just as you’d made it to the base of his cock to lick his balls in the most intoxicating way. Fuck. You were the intoxicating one. You brought out this side of him. This carnal desire that became him until he’d had to step out of the room just to compose himself. And he didn’t like being out of control. That’s why he always kept you at an arm’s distance.

But now, watching as you sat between him with your mouth agape like the good girl that you were for him, he knew he’d never deny himself this pleasure again. Especially since you were so fucking good at it.

He groaned, pulling you off his cock and grabbed tightly at your cheeks, nearly pinching your mouth together. “Tongue out.” He growled, waiting for your compliance.

Your jaw ached with exhaustion but you managed to stick out the wet muscle as he pulled you closer into him and watched when he parted his lips above you, letting the saliva trail down from his mouth into yours.

“Swallow,” he ordered.

But it was already done, and you left your mouth hanging open for more.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Bucky grumbled, putting his face right up against yours and feeding you once again; this time with a sloppy kiss that coated both your mouths in saliva.

He brought you up from the floor and tossed you onto the bed before settling between your legs. The excitement in your eyes grew and he indulged in every minute of it. Bucky’s hand trailed down from your lower abdomen right above your pubic bone and pressed his palm into your neglected clit. The cry you let out was the unholiest thing he’d ever heard.

He slid his finger under the waistband of your underwear and flitted his gaze back up to your eyes, “Can I?”

You nodded eagerly, dumbfounded that he would even ask and fought the temptation to grab your phone from the nightstand and record everything that was about to unfold.

At the first nod, Bucky slid your underwear down your legs and made a show of bringing the material up to his face. Your own went red hot and you hid behind your hands, poking through every millisecond to shamefully watch. He threw the panties into his open duffel and you squirmed in anticipation.

“Remember the rules?” Bucky asked, brow lifted and already descending to your inner thigh.

You nodded again.

“I need to hear it, Doll,” he mumbled, kissing the inner part of your thigh, each placement closer and closer to where you needed him most.

“Yes,” you whimpered out, “I remember the rules,”

Bucky wanted to dive right in, he really did, but the way you sprawled yourself out so vulnerable for him, it incited a new pace that he wanted to follow. So, he did. He looked at you for a few moments, watched how the anticipation danced in your eyes, how your legs shook in wait and how you were already so goddamn wet for him.

“This all for me?” he teased, mesmerized at your desire for him.

You dropped a hand down to your side, near where his hands were wrapped around your thighs to keep you in place - and against his face. He cocked his head to the side, waiting for your answer.

You nodded sheepishly and when he lifted an eyebrow in mock confusion you said, “You. Just you,”

Like music to his ears. Just him. You weren’t for anyone else. He thought he felt his heart palpitate.

He lowered himself down to your core and kissed your lip, drawing a desperate plea from you. You couldn’t wait anymore, couldn’t deal with the teasing. You were wet enough, needy enough, ready enough to take him, all of him. You’d been ready damn near the moment you first laid eyes on his arrogant smirk.

“Buck - please,” you cried, drawling out the final word.

The first kiss placed upon your soaked cunt erupted a sigh of relief and you laid back on the pillow, your eyes closed and mind gone with the sensation of those sloppy kisses blessing your needs. He flattened his tongue on your lips and licked upwards, stopping when your hips twitched into his mouth.

“Sorry!” You apologized, fighting the desire to grind into his wet muscle. He’d just gotten started and you certainly didn’t want it to end so soon.

He lifted his gaze up to you and you bit into your fist at the view, using the extremity to hold back your moans. He flicked his attention down again and repeated his motion, lapping at your fluids ‘til his beard was soaked in it. He shook his head into your cunt and his nose rubbed along your clit. The mewling that left your mouth urged him on and when you felt his muscle prodding at your entrance you threw your head back.

“Please, Bucky.” You begged, bringing a hand up to tease your nipple.

He prodded some more, his tongue gliding up from your clit and back down to your entrance, poking through enough to frustrate you. He wanted you to break for him. To lose all composure and control and just let him. He wanted you to submit to him but it wasn’t just that, it was more that he wanted to destroy you for any future experience you may have without him. He wanted you to come back to him, to need him, to beg for him and leave you with the understanding that nothing - no one - could compare to him. He wanted you. To himself.

So, when he could no longer refrain and had to use his metal arm to hold your hips down from squirming beneath him, he slipped two thick, rough fingers into your begging cunt. And the sound you emitted caused that carnal instinct to claw at the barriers caging it in.

Your hand shot down, tangling itself into his hair and pushing him harder against you. He allowed it. Your thighs held him in place, crushing him with your soft skin and he groaned at the warmth you gave off. You pulled your hand away from your mouth and grabbed at his metal one resting on your pubic bone, pulling it up to your chest and wrapping his fingers on the sensitive bud for him to tease. He slowly retracted from your chest and brought it back down onto your hips and you huffed in annoyance. You looked down at Bucky but his eyes were shut, completely engrossed in the feast before him. You bucked when his fingers glazed across that sensitive spot inside your velvety walls.

“There!” You cried, your fist tightening in his hair when the all-too-familiar wave of ecstasy began to pool together, waiting for its release.

Bucky complied, dragging the pads of his fingers up against that spot over and over again. Your legs caged him in tighter as his tongue swirled over the hyper-sensitive bundle of nerves and you cried out at the way your body tensed.

“Fuck,” you cried, your hands desperately grasping onto Bucky’s metal wrist and tugging at the roots of his hair. Bucky’s groan of pleasure was what tipped you over the edge.

You gasped when the pool building released, your body shaking with euphoria and the flood crashed down onto you. And apparently, onto Bucky as well. He pulled his mouth away but continued rubbing at your clit when warm liquid squirted onto his face and his expression of surprise mirrored your own.

When Bucky looked up at you, your face burned with embarrassment and you threw your head back, using your hand to cover your countenance. Not to mention the sight of him with your juices all over his mouth was one of the hottest things you’d ever witnessed.

Bucky chuckled at your sheepish apology and removed your hand from your face, bringing his soaked mouth up to yours and having you taste yourself. You devoured each other, your arms wrapped tightly around the other, pulling so fiercely at the innate desire to become one in shared pleasure. He could feel his pride swell at your hidden confession. You’d never squirted before and he was lucky enough to be the one to give you that experience for the first time.

You clawed at him, divulging in the warmth his body radiated and intoxicating yourself in everything that was Bucky. You couldn’t get enough of it, of him. It was nearly too much.

His hand trailed up to your gaping mouth and he inserted his fingers, “Clean them,” he ordered.

Your hand gripped his wrist and pulled his fingers deeper into your mouth, never breaking eye contact with him, loving the way he ate up everything he was seeing. You noticed the way he swallowed.

He retracted his hand and wrapped it gently behind your head so you were resting on him. He brought his full weight down onto your body and a warmth emanated in your chest when he brought his lips up against your forehead, each kiss closer and closer to your lips until they met their destination. When you parted your mouth against his, it wasn’t merely an action of carnal desire, it was like you were exchanging life forces. Merging and meeting in a manner that had your body exploding and crying out for more of the faint familiarity. Like seeing an old friend for the first time in years.

Bucky looked down between your bodies at where you were about to connect before staring back up at you, taking you in as if he would never have this opportunity again. His thumb brushed your cheek and came to a rest on your bottom lip. “Ready?”

You chuckled, “Fuck me,”

He shoved inside in one clean motion and a breath of pleasure slid past both of your lips.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his hand tightening slightly around your neck and he pulled out slowly then shot back inside and you moaned.

You were still so sensitive from your previous climax that every brush against your clit sent you into a whirlwind of pleasure, the sensations shooting through every nerve in your body.

“Bucky,” you whined when his pace quickened and the sheer force of his thrusts drove you deeper into euphoria.

He filled you just right, his girth and length impressive and you wondered why you hadn’t tried to screw him earlier. He slid past your tight walls, each thrust causing the room to echo with the sounds of skin slapping and moans of ecstasy.

He kept his actions controlled, not wanting to build up to something so intense just for it to fall short and end fast. No. Despite how good you felt wrapped around his aching and swollen cock, despite how warm and welcoming you were, how you spread yourself out for him to consume, he had to leash himself. This was going to be just as good for you as it was for him.

He kissed you one last time before gripping the back of your knees and bringing your thighs up to your chest, a shout of praise falling off your lips. He was drunk on the sight of his cock going in and out of your cunt and he threw his head back with a groan.

“What a fucking pretty pussy,” he breathed out and you whimpered, biting your lip at the welcome profanities.

At this angle, he was fucking against your g-spot and using his pubic bone to rub against your clit and watching the thin layer of sweat sheen off his skin was all too much to keep yourself put together. His eyebrows scrunched together and you caught him taking in your form, watching how your pleasure displayed itself on your face for him to bear witness to. Only him.

He growled at the intrusion of thoughts that came to him. He pictured someone else in his position, someone else witnessing you so vulnerable and open to them, someone else fucking you and making you beg for them. It disgusted him. He brought his torso down and latched his teeth to your neck, biting down hard enough to have you tearing up.

“Mine,” he growled into your ear and lulled his head forward when you tightened around him.

A sinister smirk came to his face and he licked the shell of your ear, your breathy moans feeding him, “You like that?” He asked, pistoling further into your cunt and you shouted at the increase of pace, “You like when I tell you who you belong to?”

Your mouth hung agape and the one arm wrapped around his shoulder pulled him closer to you, your desperation for his warmth taking control. “Fuck . . . off,” you hissed between breaths.

He pulled out and yanked you up by your hair, twisting you around and pressing your torso into the wall but keeping your ass propped up for him to admire. You hissed at the pain when a sharp smack met your ass and your hands gripped at the wall for any way to ground yourself and prevent from becoming putty in his hands.

Another hard smack met your ass and you lurched forward to get away from the sting. Bucky kept your head pinned to the cement, his hand holding your cheek from scraping the wall but applying a pressure that had your tongue lolling out of your mouth.

You moaned at the intrusion in your pussy and he plummeted in and out, a mix of your grunts and groans bouncing around the room. His pace constantly changed. One second it was fast, the next it was slow but filling, going so far as to hit your cervix a few times and leave you a crying mess under his hold. Your shoulder scraped along the wall and you fought to push away only to have your chest slammed harder against the cement.

You brought a hand out, reaching behind yourself and grasping for Bucky’s hip, pushing him deeper into you when he slowed. Your nails dug into his flesh and the sound of his hiss shot straight to your core.

“What a goddamn whore,” he spat, bringing his teeth down onto your neck and you gripped at his hair.

You laughed at his statement, “You’re the one that can’t get enough of this pussy. Why so desperate to claim it? Afraid I'll fuck someone else?” Bucky pulled you back and slammed you against the wall with vigor, causing you to flinch

He stopped his thrusts altogether, “My patience only goes so far, Doll,” he threatened, tugging at your hair and you bit back a cry, “Choose your words wisely,”

You nodded hastily, the rough texture of the wall digging into your cheek and splitting skin. You wriggled up against him to continue moving but he retracted completely and flipped you over so he was laying on the bed and you were straddling him.

“Move,” he ordered, his hands digging bruises into your waist.

You leaned over, pressing your chest against his to lift your hips up and down on him but he pushed you back up and held your arms behind your back to keep you in place. You whimpered but the cry quieted when you rubbed your clit against him and your pussy clenched at the friction. You moaned out a breathy fuck and swiveled your hips around his, noting how much deeper he filled you in this position.

“Buck-” you huffed, eyes glued to the glistening abs beneath you. “I’m gonna cum,”

“Already?” He jeered, an eyebrow raised in amusement.

You’d lost all energy to sneer at him, your focus solely on how the sensation grew and began pooling in your cunt. “Cock . . . so good,” you breathed out, barely able to keep yourself from melting into him.

“What was that, Doll?” He stilled your movements and you groaned in annoyance.

You wriggled in his hold and you could tell by the furrow of his brow that he was fighting to keep control as well. You leaned over him, your lips hovering over his, “Mine,”

His grip flew to the back of your neck and he crashed your lips onto his, giving you full reign again. You bounced your hips on his dick, slamming down vigorously and rubbing your clit in effect. It didn’t take long for your climax to build again.

“’M gonna . . .” you whispered and Bucky placed you back up, gripping your hips and swiveling you around how you were earlier.

“Cum, Doll,” he allowed, “Cum all over this cock,”

You cried out, your toes curling as the dam in your core snapped and your climax washed over you. You hadn’t realized your fingers were intertwined with Bucky's until you came back down from your high, your chest heaving for breath.

He sat up slowly and pressed his lips against your neck. “You’re beautiful,”

Your body tensed at his words and you pulled away to give him a look of confusion. But he didn’t take his statement back, only slipped his hands around your back and gently placed you onto the bed, hovering over you.

He moved with caution, like his gentleness might scare you off if he touched you too tenderly or stared too long in admiration. But he couldn’t help it, he did admire you.

He spread your legs open and nestled between them, pushing into you slowly until your hips met and you both breathed out. His movements weren’t nearly as brutal as they were earlier, these thrusts were slow and deep and full of intention. He brought his torso down onto yours and you wrapped your legs around his waist, bringing him closer to you.

He ran his hand, the only one he allowed himself to touch you affectionately with, through your hair and stared down at you, waiting. His gaze shifted between your lips to your eyes and he ran his thumb delicately along your mouth.

You looked at him then, really looked at him with fresh eyes and your heart leapt into your throat at the realization. “Kiss me,” you whispered and he lowered himself onto your lips, setting off an explosion in your chest.

“I’m yours,” he whispered, not able to bring himself to look at you, “I’ve been yours,”

You opened your mouth to respond but he silenced you with a deep thrust and a moan erupted instead. He quickened his pace, watching where you connected and pushed deeper and harder, your cries of pleasure driving him. He had to fuck you, he couldn’t love you, he couldn’t make love to you, just fuck. That’s it. He couldn’t allow himself to replay your look of shock at his confession, though the scene would surely be on loop for the next few days until he could get over it. Just fuck. Nothing more. Not with that look of disbelief on your face.

He held himself up with his forearms but you pressed him against you and wrapped your legs tighter around him. “Harder,” you whispered and he complied.

He groaned when your tits bounced and brought his mouth to a nipple, the faint taste of sweat lingering on your skin. You brought his metal hand up to your chest and made him grip the flesh there but he pulled it back and placed it beside your head instead.

“Bucky,” you whimpered and grabbed his hand again, bringing his open palm up to your lips and placing delicate kisses on the metal. “You can feel with it, right?”

He nodded, hesitance sprawled on his face.

“Then touch me,” you urged, bringing the hand down between your bodies and pressing the cold metal against your clit, “Feel me,”

His brows furrowed slightly but the look of your certainty forced him to dismiss his own perceptions of his body; or rather, that arm. And when he began rubbing circles into your bundle of nerves the expression on your face made him hate it a little less. Only a little.

You stared up at him, his pace growing erratic and sloppy and you knew he was close. “You wanna cum?”

He nodded, his hot breath coming out haggard and strained. You placed your hand on his cheek and brought him up to your kiss.

“Then cum,”

He shook his head, “You first,” he swirled his finger around your swollen clit and you gasped at the force of his thrust.

Your body tensed and you centered all your focus on his ministrations, “A little more pressure,” you directed and he quickly found a pressure that had you wobbling in the knees. “Close,” you murmured, gripping Bucky’s side and bringing your lips up to his neck to pepper the skin there.

He groaned and judging by the way his dick twitched inside you, you knew he wasn’t far behind.

“Bucky,” you whispered, pulling his attention towards you and his gaze brought you closer to the edge, “I’m yours,”

He blinked and his pace faltered for half a beat. He examined your facial expression, like he didn’t believe the words you’d spoken. Not like he couldn’t believe them, but like you’d said them just to appease him.

You placed your forehead against his, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath to center yourself in the haze of this fucking. “Yours,” you repeated, all the emotion residing in your chest poured into the singular word.

And then he was back to drilling you into the mattress, a new vigor fueling his thrusts. You cried out and Bucky pressed his sweaty torso flat against your own and it felt like the essence, the being, in your chest intermingled with his own and all the climaxes you’d previously experienced couldn’t hold a match to the flame, the intensity, the rawness of the one that washed over the both of you in that moment.

Bucky moaned out, his hips bucking into yours and you rode out both of your highs. The sensation consuming and overwhelming and welcome on both ends as it flooded through your bodies, meeting at your point of contact.

His arms flexed above you with the ferocity of his climax and the display had you writhing beneath him, already desperate for more.

“Buck,” you whispered when his breathing evened out after he collapsed onto you.

He didn’t respond, afraid it had all been a dream, a trick, despite still being inside you. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to shatter the perfection of this moment. What if you’d only said that to get him to finish faster? What if you’d only fed him what he wanted to hear? What if-

“Buck,” you repeated, pulling him from his daze and he lifted his head only slightly. You gripped his chin lightly and forced him to look you in the eye. “You’re . . . mine?”

He wanted to shake his head, to tell you that he got caught up in the moment but instead he said, “Yours,” because he knew anything else would be a lie and he was tired of lying.

You studied him and nodded, “Yours,” you stated, already rolling your eyes from the smirk forming on his face, “Unfortunately,”

He brought your face to his and planted a tender kiss on your lips. He started shifting his position and grabbed the underwear he’d been wearing earlier before pulling out and using the cloth to clean the mess pooling out of you. But not before taking a mental picture, of course.

After a few minutes of laying together, his hand playing with a few strands of hair, you felt the warm welcome of sleep beginning to drag you into its embrace. You opened your eyes groggily and looked up at Bucky who was already looking down at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“I know about your night terrors,” you whispered and his actions halted momentarily before returning to brush through your hair, “I hear you sometimes. And I understand why you don’t want to go to sleep but,” you sat up slowly and placed the thick blanket down on the floor, dragging the pillow down with you and patting the open space beside you, “you should rest. I’ll be here to calm you or stay up with you. Whichever one you need,”

He didn’t move at first, his ears drowning out any thought he could have while processing what you’d said. He’d stayed silent so long you’d thought you’d crossed a line.

“I can always sleep on the bed if you’d prefer, though,”

Bucky shook himself from his thoughts and edged closer to the floor, slowly descending into the available space and wrapping the blanket around the both of you as much as he could. “No,” he said, “I want you here,”

You hummed in response and snuggled into his waiting arms, lightly wrapping your own around him, making sure to kiss the part of himself he hated the most before fatigue swept you up into its clutches. Bucky followed soon after.

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ggukcangetit · 3 years ago

Text

cruel summer | ksj x reader [M]

➹ title: cruel summer

➹ pairing: seokjin x reader

➹ genre: smut, established relationship

➹ summary:

...it's new, the shape of your body...It's blue...

the feeling I've got...and it's ooh, whoa, oh...It's a cruel summer

a guide to having sex with your utterly gorgeous boyfriend while navigating a few snags in the process where one of snags happens to be your gorgeous boyfriend

➹ rating: 18+

➹ WC: 2930

➹ warnings: minor communication issues, kissing, fondling, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, explicit sex, unprotected sex, slight exhibitionism, semi-public sex, dirty talk (?), reader is horny af, meeting the family (because when is that ever fun).

➹ a/n: a slight sequel to Counterfeit Culture partially inspired by Seokjin stripping for us on insta, and partially inspired by my re-reading of Pride and Prejudice. lol.

➹ rec music: yes, please definitely listen to miss swift’s Cruel Summer while reading this. it enhances stuff 👀

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when someone, already disposed to being impatient, is not getting what they want, becomes even more impatient and frustrated. And if the thing that they want happens to be sex with their extremely handsome boyfriend, well… the math becomes quite clear.

Never in your life had you imagined yourself in this present situation.

It had been a few months since the day you had rushed over to Seokjin’s house in the middle of the night, poured your heart out to him, and then proceeded to have truly incredible sex.

The two of you had begun dating almost immediately, although it wasn’t something that either of you had been very willing to disclose to your mutual friends. Suffice to say, almost everyone was unsurprised, and you had to bear the teasing for a few weeks before it became normal that Seokjin was your boyfriend.

But back to your present dilemma.

Hoseok and Jieun were getting married next month. Apparently, once someone from a group of friends got married, it didn’t take long for the others to follow. This would be the third wedding you’d be attending in the last year or so. And while you were incredibly happy for your best friend and the love of her life, wedding preparations came with certain obligations. Especially if one happened to be the maid of honor, as well as the best man’s new girlfriend.

Flower arrangements aside, there was also the issue of meeting Seokjin’s family for the first time. Since the Kims and the Jungs were close family friends, it was inevitable that you’d have to cross paths with your boyfriend’s very rich, very aristocratic, very imposing family.

So that’s why you were currently at Seokjin’s grandmother’s summer house. Though it could in no sense be called a house by normal standards.

It was a mansion at the least, or if you allowed your mind to wander, a castle.

Seokjin’s grandmother happened to be a very intelligent, reserved, and observant woman. You could see that her grandson had taken after her.

But despite all your reservations, she had been very welcoming of you. Her words were laced with a softness that you didn’t find in most of her interactions with people outside of her immediate family.

Speaking of immediate family, this was also the first time you were meeting Seokjin’s younger brother.

Kim Taehyung was unlike anyone you had met before. Like his brother, he was devastatingly handsome but instead of being reserved and unapproachable, he carried himself with an air of playfulness, easy flirtations oozing out of his entire being.

“Lovely to finally meet you, y/n,” he had said after giving you a hug. “I was beginning to think my brother would die a lonely, old virgin.”

Seokjin had coughed violently at these words, spilling some of his water in the process.

And there lay the crux of your dilemma.

Despite being in a happy new relationship, you hadn’t been getting any. There had been plenty of dates, and outings, and dinners at his place, and dinners at your place. But it never amounted to anything more than a heavy makeout session.

It was annoying to feel like a horny teenager because you had never really been one as a teenager. When people had been sneaking off to movies or the backseats of cars, you had been studying for exams or trying to figure when the next volume of Maid Sama would be out.

Now that you had every reason (and desire) to indulge in some between the sheets action - and an abundance of private spaces to engage in the activity - the only obstacle seemed to be your boyfriend’s reticence.

You had consoled yourself with the fact that he was very reserved and shy, and things would probably take more time for him.

But things had come to head, quite literally, during a lunch at the summer house.

It was you, Jieun, Hoseok, Hoseok’s sister and her husband, Seokjin, Taehyung, their grandmother, and a couple of aunts seated at the large dining table. Everything was moving pleasantly and you might not have really noticed anyone or anything if Taehyung hadn’t accidentally knocked over a glass of wine on his brother’s gray shirt.

“It’s fine,” Seokjin assured everyone, dabbing himself with a napkin. “I’ll just soak it in a bit of water for now. Be back in a bit.”

A couple of minutes after Seokjin had left for the bathroom, you noticed Taehyung biting his nails nervously.

Feeling bad for the younger boy, you decided to check in on Seokjin, in case he needed some help.

What you weren’t expecting was your boyfriend to be standing in the middle of the large bathroom, clad in only his khaki slacks while washing the stained shirt in the sink.

He looked sinful - every ridge and muscle of his torso visible, as your eyes raked over his body.

You walked over, coming to a halt right in front of him. His eyes went wide, unsure of what you were going to say. Because even after 4 months of dating, he didn’t know how much you wanted him.

You placed your hands on his chest, keeping your gaze locked with his. The tips of his ears had turned pink, and you knew that he was this close to asking you to stop.

But not today.

“Why aren’t you wearing your shirt?” you asked, your voice much lower than usual.

Seokjin looked bewildered for a moment. You had seen everything that had happened in the dining room. “Y/n, you saw-”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” you continued, paying him now heed. You stroked his cheek with your finger, lazily dragging it along the column of his neck. “To have your way with me?”

Seokjin shivered at the movement. “N-no, I-”

“You didn’t need to try,” you said, moving closer so that your face was a hair’s breadth from his. “I’m yours. I’m ready. I want you.”

You could see his eyes darken at your words but something was still stopping him.

You leaned your face against his so that your lips missed his by mere centimeters. “Jin, please.”

The nickname combined with the desperation in your voice was what finally broke him.

He crashed his lips to yours, kissing you hungrily and without patience. His touches were rough and you relished in the frenzy of the moment. A swipe of his tongue against your mouth was enough for you to let him in, a small moan escaping you as you felt his hands underneath your blouse.

“I- ugh… I want-” you gasped in between the kisses, not wanting to stop but also wanting more.

Seokjin broke away for a moment, gazing at you with eyes filled with lust, hunger, and something almost too tender to focus on. “Yeah? What do you want, darling?”

You hated that term of endearment because it always made you clench your thighs but rarely did it lead to a pleasurable end.

Maybe it would be different this time.

“I want to suck you off.”

Seokjin flushed at those words. This was where his shyness really made its presence felt. “W-what?”

You took a step back from him, placing a hand on the button of his slacks. “You heard me. I want to suck your cock. I want to see how you feel when I use my tongue. I want to make you feel good.”

Still looking slightly flustered, Seokjin nodded his head, unbuttoning his slacks and shimmying out of them.

You palmed him first, relishing in the sharp gasp he let out at your touches. He was big, and while you knew this for a fact, it had been a while since you had actually been this intimate with him.

“How does that feel?” you asked, looking up to see the redness seeping down from his ears to his neck.

“So good,” he barely managed to get out. “You don’t have to-”

You stopped him mid sentence by pulling on the band of his underwear, letting his cock spring out.

“Tell me if this feels okay,” you said, licking a strip down his member.

“Ugh, y/n, I-” His voice sounded strained, like he was holding himself back.

“How about this?” You licked the tip of his cock, laving your tongue around the pre-cum that had started leaking from it.

All he could do was make a few strangled noises at this point, and you took it as your cue to continue your work.

Not someone who had ever enjoyed the prospect of performing oral sex on another person, it was surprising how eager you were to take Seokjin’s length into your mouth.

His noises of pleasure were more than enough to start the ache in your pussy, and you continued sucking him until he put a hand on your shoulder to stop.

“I don’t want to cum in your mouth,” he said, breathlessly. “Not just yet.”

You stood up, wiping the saliva from your mouth. “What do you want then?”

“I want to return the favor.”

He stepped forward, eyes full of determination, pointing at your skirt.

“Are you sure?” you asked. Although you were more than willing to have him eat you out. “You don’t have to do it today.”

“I want to.”

You gulped. He looked so hot, standing there in all his naked glory - your boyfriend, Kim Seokjin.

“Then I have a request.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“Leave the bathroom door unlocked.”

His gaze darkened, quickly undoing the simple lock on the door. Moving back towards you, he noticed that you were preparing to hoist yourself up on the counter.

“No,” he said, guiding you with his strong arms. “Stand opposite the mirror. I want you to look at yourself while I give you the best orgasm of your life.”

You shivered at his suggestion, feeling the wetness grow between your thighs. This was new. Neither of you were very public or open about your affection. But this change was exciting.

“I-” your words were swallowed up by the gasp elicited from Seokjin’s feather light kiss between your thighs.

Looking down, you realized that he was on his knees, making his way through the thin layer of your panties that separated your core from his sinful lips.

“Don’t look down,” he instructed, tone firm and commanding. The hesitation from when you had entered the bathroom was long gone.

You did as he said, trying to keep your gaze trained on your image in the large ornate mirror. The classic, pristine decor of the bathroom seemed tainted by what the two of you were doing.

“Oh…” you moaned, closing your eyes as you felt Seokjin’s tongue lick a slow stripe between your folds.

He was taking his time, keeping your panties pulled aside with his finger and giving himself as much access as he needed. His tongue was doing some of its best work, deliberate strokes and unpredictable patterns assaulting your pussy until you were struggling to stand upright.

“This needs to go,” Seokjin ordered, pulling your skirt down with one fluid motion.

You made the mistake of opening your eyes just as he returned to his place between your thighs. The sight of him giving you head in the mirror almost felt like an out of body experience.

“How is it?” asked Seokjin, his voice slightly muffled from where he was below you.

“I-” you were having trouble forming coherent thoughts at this point.

“Tell me,” he continued, kissing your clit softly. “What do you need, darling?”

It was that damn term of endearment that ended up being your undoing. Just seven letters, and he somehow managed to encapsulate his love, his attentiveness, his smoothness, and his desire for you in one breath.

“I need you, Jin.” Your voice came out huskier than you had ever heard it before.

“You have me, my darling,” he reassured you, sucking your clit before inserting a long, elegant finger into your cunt.

“Jin!” you gasped, grabbing a fistful of his gorgeous hair. “I’m close…”

He inserted a second finger inside you, curling them ever so slightly as he felt you arch into his hand.

“Almost there, darling,” he continued. “I want you to look at yourself in the mirror. Especially at this point.”

You did as he said, not really being able to think of much else on your own.

It was a sinful image.

You stood in the middle of the white and gold bathroom, practically naked, as you fucked yourself against your boyfriend’s fingers, with the very real prospect of someone walking in on you due to the previously unlocked door.

It was sinful enough to send you over the edge.

Your body shuddered violently as the orgasm made its way through you. Seokjin held your legs steady from his place between your thighs. It was a pleasure unlike any you had experienced before, and you sank to the ground, slowly, as your core throbbed traitorously.

Seokjin sat in front of you, his expression a mix of adoration and smugness as he noted the effects of your orgasm.

His cock was rock hard and looked painfully red. You realized that he hadn’t allowed himself to finish. You knew he wouldn’t approach you to help him reach his climax, not when he could see how spent you were from what he had just done to you. But you also knew that you weren’t going to leave this bathroom until your boyfriend had put his cock inside you and fucked you till you couldn’t remember your own name.

“We’re not done yet.” You stood up, ridding yourself of your blouse and bra, before taking your original place on the counter.

“Y/n, you don’t have to-”

The hesitance was back and it made you scoff in annoyance. Spreading your legs and rubbing some of the slick between your folds, you cocked an eyebrow and gave him a challenging look.

“I want my boyfriend to fuck me,” you said, keeping your gaze locked with his, “in the unlocked bathroom of his family’s summer house, where anyone could walk in at any moment.”

“You know I could never say no to that,” he groaned, walking towards you. He angled his cock against your core and slowly entered you. “And who do you think will walk in?”

You had missed the feel of him inside you. He filled you up so well. Like puzzle pieces that actually fit.

“Ahh,” you moaned, placing a hand on his shoulder as he thrust into you again. “Anyone could.”

“Let me rephrase that,” he said, voice strained as he increased the pace of his thrusts. “Who do you want to walk in?”

The question was so scandalous that you couldn’t help the gush of wetness that followed.

“They’d walk in and see us,” he continued, building the filthy fantasy. “Fucking on the bathroom counter.” He was getting closer and you could hear it in the way he was grinding out each word. “They’d see my cock inside you - see me pounding into your pretty pussy. Would you like that?”

The thrusts were strong and sloppy at this point. You were barely managing to hold on.

“Tell me, darling.” He was punctuating each word with a thrust. Finally, he managed to hit the spot that caused you to unfurl in a fit of pleasure. “Would you like that?”

“Yes! Oh my god! JIN!” you screamed into his shoulder, hoping that would muffle the sound even a little bit.

“Perfect,” he managed to say, before pulling out and cuming on the fluffy bath mat on the floor.

It took a few minutes before you were both clean, dressed, and presentable enough to leave the bathroom.

You looked at Seokjin as he tucked his shirt into his pants. That offending piece of clothing had been the start of this entire escapade.

Feeling a strange rush of emotion, you pulled him into a deep kiss. His hands found their way to your waist, and you couldn’t help the groan of satisfaction as you continued kissing his beautifully plump lips.

“I- uh,” he began, once you had untangled yourselves from each other. “I hope this wasn’t too much. I know you said-”

You kissed him again before he could complete his sentence. “You are an idiot if you don’t know how much I want you.”

“Really?” He smiled that rare smile. The one that wasn’t reserved for board meetings, or family members, or friend groups. It was your favorite smile. It was when he allowed himself to be at his most vulnerable. When he allowed himself to be happy.

“I have been prepared to jump your bones at so many inappropriate moments and locations,” you giggled. “Don’t ever hesitate because you think this might be too fast for me.”

Seokjin let out an amused chuckle. “Okay then, I won’t hold back.”

“I look forward to it,” you replied, kissing him once more for good measure.

“I’ll head out first and you can follow after a few seconds,” Seokjin said, gazing at you with a delightfully hazy expression. The kiss had been effective.

Thankfully, the coast was clear and the two of you walked out onto the patio in relief.

Not long after, Taehyung walked over to you where you were both standing. He had a glass of champagne in one hand, his dark curls swaying lazily with each step.

“Please use the bathroom attached to your room next time,” he said, not stopping to spare either of you a glance.

there we go! please lemme know if you enjoyed this and i will link the original (Counterfeit Culture) on this post later. or you could look for it on my masterlist lol.

#seokjin x reader #seokjin smut #btswritingcafe #btscarnivalnet #bangtansorciere #clubzerooclock #hyunglinenetwork #btshoneyhive #btsghostie #btsgoldnet #bangtanbathhouse #bts smut

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krappykawa · 4 years ago

Text

fake dating headcanons with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo

ANON ASKED: “hi i really like your writing 🥺🥺 could i request fake dating with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo? like they told their teams that they have a girlfriend but they dont lmao so they ask one of their classmates to pretend to be their gf so the team can meet her? and they end up falling for her along the way :)) i look forward to reading more of ur works!! 💖”

atsumu x f!reader, oikawa x f!reader, kuroo x f!reader

genre. fluff

warnings. language

word count. 6.3k

note. DAMN this one got away from me ... 6.3k words for a headcanon post ...... sorry anon i’m not sure if you wanted a long post but i mean, here we are lol

note 2. had to repost because something was up with the tags lol i hope it works fine this time

ATSUMU.

- the team has a favorite twin and it’s osamu, we all know it

- one day after practice, the team finds out that one of the first-years managed to get a girlfriend

- most of the inarizaki vb team is single at that point in time so it starts a conversation about relationships

- somewhere in the conversation, aran says, “osamu, man. I can’t believe ya haven’t gotten a girlfriend yet. yer easily one of the best-looking people in the school.”

- osamu just shrugs, but atsumu’s like “huh??”

- “hey ‘samu and i have the same face. don’t cha mean that we’re some of the best-looking people in the school??”

- the guys in the locker room exchange glances

- aran‘s like “look, atsumu. don’t blow up on me or anything, but most girls don’t really want to date you.” (keep in mind that aran’s strictly speaking about the girls that aren’t a part of the miya twins fan club)

- “and why the hell not?”

- at this point, aran’s looking at literally everyone in the room and pleading with his eyes for help because he doesn’t want to start a fight with atsumu

- suna takes pity on aran and says, “hate to break it you, miya, but girls don’t want to date a guy who’s a massive asshole”

- now, atsumu could care less if the entire goddamn world thinks he’s an asshole, but it rubs him the wrong way that his teammates think that osamu’s a better catch than he is

- sibling rivalry pride or whatever

- so atsumu goes “i think my girlfriend would disagree because oh will ya look at that, she’s dating me!”

- he was most definitely not dating anyone

- osamu raises an eyebrow at him because to his knowledge, atsumu didn’t have a girlfriend

- “since when did you have a girlfriend?”

- osamu looks at atsumu with knowing eyes and smirks. “yeah sumu, who’s this girlfriend of yours? I don’t think i’ve met her yet.”

- atsumu knows he’s gotten himself in some deep shit

- but still he’s still full of pride, so he says, “i’ll bring her by to practice tomorrow.”

- now miya atsumu has a dilemma because there are some things he just shouldn’t lie about (because now he’ll never live it down if he can’t figure out a way to get himself out of this one)

- atsumu knows that he’s got that fanclub that would probably be more than willing to date him, but the thought of being in their presence for longer than two seconds makes his skin crawl because he doesn’t think he could handle the excessive screaming

- so that night he decides to go to the bakery down the street that he frequents because they have some of the best macarons in town

- you’re one of the bakers at that bakery that works the shift when he usually comes in for his weekly macarons so you two are acquainted

- you also go to inarizaki, so you hear the rumors that circulate around atsumu, but you don’t really pay much attention to them because he’s not that bad whenever he comes into the bakery

- like sometimes if he tries to only order 2 macarons but notices that there are only 5 macarons left, he’ll buy them all just to make your life easier

- when he comes in that day, he has this troubled look on his face. “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”

- you like to keep tabs on your regulars and what they order, so when he orders an iced matcha, you know that something’s probably up (he never orders drinks from there because he said that his brother would kill him if he didn’t bring him home a drink too and having to carry the two drinks up to their apartment is hassle enough)

- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”

- it’s almost time to close up and you two are the only two left so you figured you had time for small talk

- “i may have outright lied to my team about havin’ a girlfriend.”

- “you don’t?” that surprises you because so many girls at your school have a crush on the miya twins (you would know because your best friend is practically in love with osamu)

- when atsumu shakes his head dejectedly, you don’t quite understand what he’s so down for

- “you do know that there are like 50 girls that are practically lining up to date you right?”

- “yeah, but they’d expect a real relationship and i’m no good at those.”

- “why not?”

- “i’m too argumentative, let's just say, plus i’ve been told that i kinda come off as an asshole.”

- “and volleyball right?” you would know since he always comes into the bakery after a practice and he looks like he’s both dead and alive

- when you hand him his matcha and packet of macarons, he pauses

- “listen, don’t take this the wrong way but yer single right?”

- you almost smile to yourself because wow for a guy so attractive, his way with words isn’t great

- “i am.”

- he stands there for a good 20 seconds just looking at you with that look in his eyes that tells you that he’s trying to ask you something but he doesn’t know how to do it

- “you want me to act as your fake girlfriend don’t you?”

- cue atsumu chuckle @%EUTYDJBCJWER)*&# hhhhfs

- “ya know, i’m kinda seein’ why i get called an asshole all the time. it doesn’t sound as great when ya’ say it like that.”

- you agree to pretend to be his girlfriend, but on the condition that your best friend will be able to tag along if osamu’s gonna be there

- and that’s the start of it

- you visit his practice the next day before work and his team looks at you in surprise because they were 100% sure that having a girlfriend was just another one of atsumu’s lies

- they all kinda stare at you a little extra too because you’re really pretty

- “aye, get yer asses back to volleyball and stop starin’ at my girl like that.”

- you know it’s all fake, but him saying that kinda makes you blush anyways

- when you first agreed to fake dating him, you weren’t expecting that you’d have to spend too much time with him (he did tell you that he wasn’t looking for a real relationship) but that changes because osamu’s insistent that atsumu should at least try to be a good boyfriend and eat lunch with you and stuff

- you’re both aware that osamu doesn’t buy your little arrangement one bit

- atsumu’s got this raging pride when it comes to his twin brother, so he actually listens because now he’s made it his personal mission to convince osamu that you and him are actually dating

- it takes a while for you two to get into the hang of it, but once you do, it’s like a regular routine

- you and your best friend eat lunch with the twins (you and atsumu both watch as your best friend fumbles her way into talking with osamu), you drop by before work to give atsumu a kiss on the cheek before practice, he drops by the bakery after practice nearly everyday, and you come to his games while wearing a jersey that he lent you

- his teammates like you a lot and tease atsumu all the time because they claim that you’re way too good for him

- surprisingly, he always gets a little protective when they say things like that and always slips an arm around your waist

- one day when you’re over at his apartment, you help atsumu learn how to make macarons (with some help from osamu)

- it takes a while because he would get mad at the macarons when they would come out in weird shapes

- “stupid macarons! they got it out for me i’m tellin’ ya! they’re being like that on purpose!”

- LITERALLY A CHILD

- you learn to like that about him though

- dates with him are usually on the weekends (you both drag osamu and your best friend out with you) and it’s always something fun that osamu suggests because atsumu wasn’t joking when he said he sucks at real relationships

- most of these dates consist of holding hands as you walk around the streets until osamu sees a restaurant he wants to try out

- he always insists on feeding you at least once in your meal

- he also loves doing the walrus-chopsticks face?? (he only started doing it because he liked hearing you laugh)

- as time passes, you two start going on dates without osamu and your best friend (atsumu always claims that it’s because he wants to show osamu up, but you start to notice that osamu doesn’t even find out about these dates most of the time)

- you secretly like these dates better than those with osamu and your best friend because atsumu feels more at ease and will develop a softer tone around you during these dates

- eventually, he starts to always greet you with a forehead kiss whenever you’re in public (you’re not sure if he does it just because his brother is watching, or if maybe he might be starting to like you)

- you try to make your brain forget that most of the time, he kisses your forehead before osamu even walks in

- one day after practice, you’re waiting for him because you didn’t have a shift at the bakery that day

- he walks out of the club room looking mildly pissed and you’re a little wary

- but then he gets to where you’re standing and just pulls your waist towards him and full on kisses you

- mind you, this is your first kiss on the lips with him

- it’s not a quick peck either, like you can hear the wolf whistles from his teammates in the back and you’re left breathing hard and flushed pink afterwards

- damn if that’s what his kisses are like, you suddenly wish he’d do it more often

- “what was that for?”

- “nothin’”

- sometime in the future you find out that he did that because his teammates were once again talking about your relationship and one of them joked that atsumu paid you to pretend to be his girlfriend

- he knew that what you had wasn’t necessarily real, but he just had the urge to kiss you then (he swears to you that he doesn’t know why)

- he does know why. it was because it was starting to slip his mind that your relationship was fake and the reminder made him a little mad at himself

- he realizes that maybe he’s fallen in love with you when osamu brings it up

- atsumu had asked for osamu’s help because he wanted to surprise you by making you mochis for your upcoming four month anniversary of being his fake girlfriend (typing this out was so funny, this man is so whipped he doesn’t know it)

- “ya know, when i first met y/n, i was sure that it was all fake and that you’d slip up about it one day. i guess i was wrong.”

- atsumu doesn’t say anything to that because in his head he’s trying to convince himself that “no. this is all still fake.” but it’s hard to convince himself of that when his hands are covered in the rice flower that he’s using to make your favorite dessert for your four months of faking being together

- he tries not to think about what osamu said when he gives you the gifts later that night

- he tries not to think about it when he gets that funny feeling that he’s been feeling for a while now when he sees the way you light up upon opening the box of mochis

- he most definitely tries not to think about it when you accidentally give him your second kiss of the relationship because you were caught up in the spur of the moment

- it’s on the way home back to his apartment that night that he realizes he’s fucked

- because good god he’s fallen for you

- he tries to break it off after that

- you’re confused at how sudden it is, but you let him break it off because at that point you’re already in love with him and are still too scared to say it because you keep remembering how he always said that he didn’t want a real relationship

- IDIOTS IN LOVE YOU'RE BOTH SO .

- he tries to go back to normal after that

- but for the love of everything he just . can’t

- his eyes always linger a little too long on the door right before practice because you would always come see him before going to work

- his feet would instinctively move in the direction of the bakery after practices until he realizes what he’s doing and forces himself to go home

- his eyes would scan for your figure wearing his jersey during games until he remembers that you probably weren’t there and that you most definitely wouldn’t be wearing his jersey

- he wants to kick himself because the reason he asked you to be his fake girlfriend in the first place was because he didn’t want a real relationship

- yet here he was. wallowing because if there’s anything more he wants, it’s a real relationship with you

- osamu gets fed up with him eventually

- “take yer ass to the bakery right after practice. i’m not letting you into the apartment until you see her.”

- and surprisingly, he actually listens to his twin brother

- he walks into the bakery for the first time in a while and says “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”

- you look up at him then because you vividly remember that night. how could you not?

- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”

- “i may have outright lied to myself about loving you.”

- you nearly drop the drink in your hands

- “‘tsumu? what are you on about?”

- “i know i said that i’m no good at real relationships. but i’ve found that i want to learn to be good.”

- a pause

- “i want to learn with ya.”

OIKAWA.

- this poor boy is always the butt of the jokes that come from his team

- seriously though. it’s always “tease oikawa day” (he teases them back so it’s all good)

- but one day, they’re all in the locker room when hanamaki brings up this girl that he’s planning on asking out because he’s not sure how to do it

- oikawa, being the little shit that he is, goes “step one, makki. have my face. step two, have my amazing personality. step three, ask her out.”

- he barely ducks in time to miss the shoe that comes flying towards his head

- “makki! such unbecoming behavior! my advice is perfect!”

- matsukawa snorts and says “perfect advice my ass. you can’t even get anyone to like you. let alone go out with you, crappykawa.”

- “don’t spread lies, mattsun.” oikawa clicks his tongue like a mother scolding his child. “or do you seem to forget the dozens of confessions i get on the daily along with the girls that you three complain about all the time because ugh shittykawa’s gonna make us late if he keeps talking to them” (he’s so dramatic lol he says that last part in this weird, whiny voice)

- iwaizumi scoffs. “doesn’t count when you reject every single one.”

- “i do not!”

- “right. right. as if you don’t make them cry because you’re so nice about rejecting them too.” (oikawa frowns at that one because he doesn’t mean to make them cry)

- “yeah, shittykawa, you’re pretty bad at love in general. i’d die before listening to your advice.” (this one is from matsukawa)

- “there’s also the fact that the girlfriend’s you did have all broke up with you because you would rather cuddle with a volleyball than cuddle with them.” (this one is from hanamaki)

- oikawa scowls at them “i don’t cuddle my volleyball.”

- “sure you don’t. just like you most definitely don’t have a name for it either.”

- “leave iwa-chan the second out of this!” (he drew an angry face on his volleyball too because he claims it looks like iwaizumi)

- iwaizumi groans. “i hate you. so so much.”

- at this point, oikawa knows they’re right, but he’s also really prideful. “and besides. i would suggest taking my advice because i got a girlfriend just today!”

- he most definitely did not

- “sure you did. hey mattsun, i bet a week tops until she breaks up with him.”

- “nah i’ll bet five days.”

- after practice, oikawa came up with a plan for the next day to get himself out of the hole he dug for himself

- he usually got confessions before school, so he told iwaizumi that he was going to school early to practice and instead waited for a girl to confess to him

- but the moment he saw this second-year walk up to him with a little box, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it

- he couldn’t do that to this innocent girl

- and he tries to say yes to her. he really does.

- but he can practically hear his older sister’s voice yelling at him about how “even when you get popular and get confessions from people left and right, i don’t want you leading anyone on. you only accept a confession if you actually like them.”

- he’s probably more scared of his sister than he is of his own mother, so he says no to that second-year, even when she starts to frown and walk away

- he’s leaning against the gym and rubbing the bridge of his nose when he hears you

- “everything alright?”

- you two were pretty close because he found out that you had a crush on iwaizumi in your second year and tried to set you two up (it didn’t work because he’s pretty bad at being a wingman)

- even when iwaizumi rejected you, oikawa had already grown to like your presence, so you two stayed friends despite how his best friend broke your heart

- “y/n-chan! what are you doing here so early?”

- “just returning a book to the library before the librarian knocks down my door and kicks my ass for having an overdue library book. what are you doing here so early?”

- “would you believe me if i said that i was practicing volleyball?”

- you look him up and down, and the smell of fresh cologne reaches your nostrils. his uniform is neatly put together.

- “looking like that? no, no i would not.”

- “well, what would you believe?”

- “i don’t know .. the truth maybe?”

- “the truth is embarrassing and is defamation to my good name.” that makes you raise your brow at him.

- “okay now i only want to hear the truth. i will not accept anything but the truth. now tell me, what kind of embarrassment have you proved yourself to be this morning?”

- “so mean, y/n-chan! now i see why you so very adored our precious iwa-chan.”

- you groan because you don’t want to remember that rejection. “oh just hurry up and embarrass yourself instead of embarrassing me.”

- “but it’s quite embarrassing.”

- “come on, spit it out.”

- “i may or may not have told iwa-chan, makki, and mattsun that i have a girlfriend when i don’t have one.”

- you look at him like he’s the dumbest person you’ve ever met, because at that moment, you really believed that he was. “couldn’t you just … i don’t know … accept one of your many, many confessions?”

- oikawa tells you about his fear of his sister and the second-year that just confessed to him

- you find yourself admiring his sister because she’s probably the one person on this planet that can humble oikawa tooru (the next person to be able to do so will be you, but you don’t know that yet)

- after hearing his explanation you get an idea. “can’t you ask someone to fake being in a relationship with you? you know, so you don’t get the angry sister devil/angel thing on your shoulder?” (LOL if you don’t get what the angel/devil thing that i’m talking about is, it’s like when you have an imaginary angel and a devil that sits on your shoulders and criticizes every choice you make)

- “are you offering, y/n?” he has that shit-eating grin on his face again, so you know he’s mostly joking

- “hmm, i don’t know. i think you’ll have to formally ask me to be your fake girlfriend. it’s only polite after all.”

- oikawa blinks for a second because he didn’t actually think you were serious. “what?”

- “are you going to ask me to be your fake girlfriend or not? maybe throw in a flower and i’ll say yes.”

- oh. oh.

- well, he wasn’t going to let what might be his only opportunity to get someone to fake date him pass by

- he looks around and sees a small flower on the ground and picks it

- he takes both your hands and puts the flower in one of them before saying, “y/n-chan will you, take me, oikawa tooru, as your loving pretend boyfriend, and save me from irrevocable embarrassment?”

- you laugh in his face because he’s trying so hard not to laugh through his “proposal.”

- “minus points for not getting on one knee but i guess i do.”

- you mainly did it because you may have already gotten rejected by iwaizumi, but you did like the possibility of being friends with him, and fake dating oikawa would probably let you do that

- you also kind of felt bad for oikawa, knowing that he wasn’t exaggerating how embarrassing it would be if his teammates found out he was lying

- when you and oikawa walk up to the seijoh third-years while holding hands, makki and mattsun are jostling each other while iwaizumi looks mildly surprised

- “see matsun! pay up!”

- oikawa and you both look in surprise as mattsun reluctantly shoves a few bills into makki’s awaiting hand

- oikawa’s looking between them both. “what bet did you use me for this time?”

- “i bet mattsun that you and y/n secretly liked each other.”

- blink blink

- iwaizumi sees the mildly awkward situation brewing so he says, “anyways, y/n if you ever get tired of this dumbass, you’re more than welcome into our group. we’ll just kick oikawa out.”

- after that, you and oikawa fall into a dating routine easily (you have a pretty busy schedule too so both you and oikawa understand each other schedules well)

- usually this is where oikawa’s relationships fail. he spends so much time with volleyball and the team that he doesn’t really spend time with his significant others

- it’s different with you though. maybe it’s the fact that the stakes aren’t so high because it’s only a fake relationship after all, or maybe it’s because unlike his past significant others, you don’t mind spending most of your time and “dates” with the other seijoh third-years, or maybe it’s because he remembers that locker room conversation and he wants to prove to makki, mattsun, and iwaizumi that he can be a good boyfriend (even if it’s a good fake boyfriend)

- dates with oikawa are usually laid-back because he’s tired from practice (so like walks in the park, getting ice cream, or study dates where you don’t get much done because you spend most of it just laughing and cooking in his kitchen)

- you find that he’s secretly a decent cook (the only thing keeping from saying that he’s a good cook is because he can’t cut vegetables for his life, and he also managed to accidently burn the onions you were trying to caramelize).

- neither of you acknowledge the fact that since nobody’s there to see those dates, you two technically don’t have to go on them since it’s only a fake relationship

- oh and takeru LOVES you

- seriously. he thinks you’re probably the coolest person ever (he tells you one day that he thinks you’re even cooler than oikawa and oikawa is a pouting mess the rest of your day. you can only pull him out of his slump when you jump on his back and force him to run to the bakery and buy milk bread)

- sometimes you’ll come with oikawa when he needs to watch takeru

- as takeru teaches you how to receive a volleyball, oikawa will watch you two with a little smile on his face (this loser is so whipped like man people passing by reminisce on how they were young and in love once because oikawa looks at you like that. oikawa doesn’t notice that he’s doing it though.)

- you sometimes spend time at his house with iwaizumi or on select days just by yourself (mostly for study dates or for watching weird sci-fi movies that oikawa seems to love)

- since you’re at his house so often, oikawa’s mother takes a liking to you because “you finally got her boy to care about something that isn’t volleyball.”

- it’s when oikawa groans a “moooom” in response that you start to feel those pesky butterflies

- oikawa will run up to you after games and just hold you tightly (he tells himself that it’s because his fan club and the team are watching, but really it’s because he can’t thank you enough for being there because he just plays better when you’re watching)

- my god, dUDE . he has no idea that he loves you like . MAN .

- mattsun, makki, and iwaizumi always tease oikawa about how you’re so much cooler than him

- oikawa whines to you and says, “y/n-channn they’re being mean again!”

- “what do you want me to do about it?”

- oikawa pouts like the baby he is and says, “kiss,” while pointing to his cheek. you give in and a round of groans comes from mattsun and makki. oikawa looks so smug and those pesky stomach feelings come back. iwaizumi is smiling to himself.

- speaking of iwaizumi

- you two become best friends after he finds you looking dejected as you wait for oikawa to get out of practice. you confided with him about how your relationship was all pretend. you might have also told him that you may be teensy bit in love with his captain

- iwaizumi tells you that, “there are some things you just ... can’t fake. the way that shithead looks at you is one of them. trust me.”

- he also tells you that his suspicion that you and oikawa had this weird spark was what kept him from ever reciprocating your feelings and why he rejected you (oikawa literally tried being your wingman before by texting iwaizumi things like “did you see how pretty y/n was today? don’t you think she was pretty?” and “iwa-chan! y/n is so funny and that’s coming from me, so she really is funny! i think maybe you should talk to her to see what i’m talking about (≧◡≦)”)

- at this point everyone knows that you’re in love with oikawa for real (except for oikawa himself)

- everyone also knows that oikawa’s fallen for you (except for oikawa himself, and you because you refuse to believe it)

- the moment he realizes he’s in love with you is on another one of those dates that you both know you don’t have to have but still choose to have anyway

- you’re making milk bread and he’s helping to measure the ingredients when he turns around to see you covered in flour and he just kinda stops

- and he realizes

- like yeah he’s been getting that small tugging feeling with you a lot over these past few months

- but now he finally realizes it’s because he’s in love with you

- he’s staring for a long time and for a second you think he’s going to make fun of your flour-coated self, but he’s staring at you with that look and you’re confused

- “everything okay? is there something wrong? did you mess up the measurements?”

- then an idea hits him

- “something’s wrong. it’s kind of embarassing though.”

- “what is it?”

- “no but it’s really embarrassing.”

- “what .. what is it?”

- cue cheeky little grin. “i think i might’ve fallen in love with my fake girlfriend. i don’t have another flower to ask her out though. i hope she doesn’t say no.”

- you kiss him for the first time then and take pride in the fact that you get him covered in flour in the process

KUROO.

- it happened the second day that you were at the tokyo training camp

- kuroo was with bokuto and a few of the karasuno first-years when bokuto started telling the first-years that kuroo had a girlfriend because he saw kuroo helping you carry your bags the day before (listen . this man is like . clueless when it comes to emotions sometimes i’msosorry)

- kuroo got this confused look on his face because he thought he would remember getting a girlfriend. “i do?”

- “don’t you? remember the girl you were holding hands with yesterday?”

- this was all some big misunderstanding

- so basically what happened was this: you’re shinzen’s team manager and you were tasked with carrying bags of equipment to the training center. kuroo was waiting for kenma to finish talking with lev (more like trying to avoid though lmao) and noticed that you were struggling so he came over to help

- kuroo figured that bokuto must’ve seen him holding the bags for you and assumed that something must’ve been going on (or maybe he looked over for the split second when kuroo held your hand in order to transfer the bags to his hand)

- he was about to clear things up when lo and behold, you walked into the gym

- “kuroo look! it’s your girlfriend! hey, come join us!”

- bless bokuto’s soul. bless that poor, oblivious soul.

- you walked up to them and looked at kuroo like “what??”

- you remembered him from the day before, but you didn’t remember ever agreeing to being his girlfriend of any sort

- he smiled apologetically at you and asked to talk to you on the side

- “what’s going on? why did he call me your .. girlfriend?”

- “look i’m sorry, bo’s a little … i don’t know. he saw me carrying your bags yesterday and assumed. i’ll clear things up, don’t worry.”

- when you two headed back to where bokuto is standing, it was obvious that kuroo’s smooth-sailing explanation wasn’t happening anytime soon

- because lev was there, and so was yaku

- “KUROO-SENPAI? THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND? SHE’S VERY PRETTY SENPAI!” (bless lev’s soul too. another part of the extremely oblivious club.)

- yaku took no hesitation in teasing kuroo. “since when does kuroo ever get any girl to like him? this is new. no offense, of course.”

- kuroo tried clearing up the air by saying, “guys- listen this has all been som-“

- hinata doesn’t let him finish either lmao “YOU’RE THE TEAM MANAGER FOR SHINZEN!” (extremely oblivious club member number 3 here)

- “a team manager, kuroo? what’d you do to get her to say yes? is she a chemistry nerd too?”

- “bo-“

- they kinda just went like that back and forth, and kuroo kept getting interrupted

- you were just laughing to the side because it was kind of funny

- you also kinda felt bad for kuroo because damn his friends had like no faith in his romantic skills at all??

- maybe that was what made you say it, but after his friends were done teasing him you said, “he’s kind of a catch though, don’t you think? nerdy and funny is a girl’s dream isn’t that what they say?”

- kuroo blinked at you because what??

- once kuroo got you alone by asking you to take a walk outside of the gym, he asked, “so … what does this make us?” (surprise, surprise, he never got the chance to tell them about the misunderstanding)

- you just shrugged because really how bad could this be? “i felt bad at how much they were teasing you, so we could keep up the fake boyfriend/girlfriend thing for the week. it shouldn’t be too bad. plus it’ll save you the embarrassment of having to tell your friends that you didn’t actually get a girlfriend.”

- you guys did pretty good for the week of the training camp

- you’d cheer him on in secret if he got a spike or a block during a practice game while simultaneously still watching shinzen’s game

- you two walked around the halls when bokuto was watching just to keep up pretenses

- you learned that he’s a major nerd during these walks, which you found really endearing

- on the last day of camp, he tried to throw pieces of broccoli in your mouth (he didn’t stop until he finally got it in after his 9th try)

- you guys initially planned to “break up” after the camp was over

- but here comes bokuto again

- “hey y/n! kuroo, akaashi, and i were gonna go out for karaoke tomorrow if you wanna join.”

- you grew to like bokuto too so you said you’d come

- it was actually a really fun night

- you and kuroo sang a duet together

- he also stole some of your ramen

- you took a video of bokuto as he serenaded akaashi

- when you guys are leaving to go home, bokuto goes “you two are so cute. y/n do me a favor and don’t break up with kuroo until after the qualifiers would you? i wanna play him at his full game.” (again. seriously, he basically is the greatest accidental wingman ever)

- “we can’t break his heart, can we?”

- “no, we can’t.”

- and so your fake relationship starts

- you don’t get to visit each other often because you don’t live in the same vicinity, but you guys text often (it’s a friend thing, you both swear to yourselves)

- on weekends when kuroo’s not spending time with kenma, he’ll ask you to meet him at a park or a cafe (you two always send selfies to bokuto during every date)

- dates with him are always really fun because he’s spontaneous and also very active so sometimes he’ll take you by the hand and just drag you places

- he is not afraid to smear different colors of ice cream on your nose and call you some obscure name from some really old movie that he may have watched that week

- he also makes you push him on the swings

- the little kids get mad because what is this rooster man doing taking up a swing when he’s so old

- you laugh at him when the kids eventually come up to him and ask if they can use the swing

- dates will usually last the whole day because you’re both fine with just walking around and randomly finding stuff to do

- with all that time spent talking, you two also get to know each other really well

- like basically your life stories

- it took him a while to open up and at first he insists that you tell your story first, but after a while you notice how he starts letting little things about his life slip here and there until he starts telling you bigger portions

- you also get really close with kenma

- not close close the way him and kuroo are, but kenma would probably see you as his second closest friend

- that’s why sometimes kenma tags along with you guys (it doesn’t feel like third wheeling or anything because both you and kuroo enjoy kenma’s presence as much as each other’s)

- eventually, once you two got the hang of it, you’re like the couple that everyone likes

- because you’re both pretty funny and overall just have nice vibes

- his team starts to call you mom and dad as a joke because sometimes when shinzen doesn’t have practice, you’ll stop by at nekoma at the end of practice just to say hi

- they’re not wrong about the mom and dad thing though (it’s a really cute dynamic though i swear)

- your team used to not like him at first because they were protective of you, but eventually they reluctantly warmed up to him

- they threatened to demolish him if he hurt you though

- LMAO ANYWAYS .. MOVING ON

- you guys have lots of study dates too!!

- since you’re both busy because of volleyball related things, a lot of your schedule lines up with each other (this also means that kuroo knows when you haven’t had time to study)

- you’ll be sitting on his bed on your stomach with your legs draped across his thighs as you read your textbook and he’ll be sitting against his bed frame reading one of his assigned readings (i also like to think that kuroo has glasses for these readings that only you and kenma have seen)

- sometimes, when you finish studying before he finishes, you’ll come up behind him and just start to play with his hair

- his hair is actually really soft despite looking like a bird built its nest in it

- you also have two of his jackets that are just lying around your house

- he likes when you wear them because he thinks you look so cute (he doesn’t tell you that though)

- after a while, it’s like both of you have forgotten that this was all a ruse just so bokuto wouldn’t get heartbroken after you two break up

- at this point, kuroo has learned all your quirks, habits, and has also memorized your schedule

- like … he doesn’t realize that he’s fallen for you until someone points it out

- he realizes he’s fallen for you on the day that shinzen loses in the tournament (this would be your last match)

- now nekoma just played a game, but kuroo’s first instinct is to check whether or not shinzen won (he’s been doing this for every game in the tournament)

- when he sees that you lost, he knows that you’ll be sad and in need of a pick me up

- as kenma and him are packing up, he says, “shinzen lost today. i probably can’t make it to your house tonight. y/n will probably want to go out with her team for a bit, but she’ll probably crash at my place. do you think i should make her a strawberry cake? or maybe she’ll want onigiri? no, she’ll probably want the cake. she always gets the little smile with her one dimple whenever she eats my strawberry cake. makes me proud.”

- kenma’s just looking at kuroo with arched eyebrows because HIS BEST FRIEND IS WHIPPED

- kuroo doesn’t get why kenma’s looking at him like that because he thinks about things like that all the time. “what??”

- oh kenma knows your relationship is fake

- so he just looks at kuroo and says, “try to refrain getting down on one knee today. i doubt you have a ring, and i’ll bet that y/n will want a confession of you being hopelessly, madly in love with her before you propose by the way.”

- kuroo kind of freezes and blinks at him.

- “wh … what?”

- “kuro, do i really need to spell out for you that you’re totally smitten with her? you have been for a while now.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- at this point, kuroo knows that kenma’s onto something, but kuroo doesn’t wanna jump to conclusions until he sees you again

- when you knock on his door and run straight into his arms that night, he knows kenma’s right

- like you’re balling into his chest and he gets that feeling that he wants to hold you forever and never let go

- and he knows. he knows.

- after you start to calm down, he offers you the cake that he made just for you

- he swears that he feels ten times lighter after he sees that exact smile with the exact dimple on your face

- now kuroo may be loud, and rambunctious at times, but when he loves, it’s quiet, simple, but not any less there

- as you finish eating the cake, kuroo notices that there’s a few pink crumbs on your lips

- and he kisses you

- like a “slow, hand on the cheek, nose touching after he pulls away” kind of kiss

- “i made a realization today. kenma told me to hold back on proposing, so i’ll go with confessing instead.”

- you’re looking up at him with your heart beating hard in your chest

- “i think you might’ve made me fall in love with you.”

sorry if there are any mistakes lmao i tried catching all of them but ... 6k words ...... yanno. .....

#oikawa x reader #oikawa headcanons #oikawa fluff #atsumu x reader #atsumu headcanons #atsumu fluff #kuroo x reader #kuroo headcanons #kuroo fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fluff

7K notes · View notes

kouque · 3 years ago

Text

*kisses you* lol nice!

summary: u reject some genshin dudes (xiao, albedo)

genre: angst

a/n: holy shit sorry for being so inactive lately, i’ve been extraordinarily busy with personal issues and ive just been having super writers block lol also gn pronouns used but yeah, anyways here’s some burnt food for yall 🙁 oh yeah and i also got really lazy on Albedo’s part because it’s like 3am right now so if there’s any plot holes or rushed parts, just know that it’s my mind that’s supposed to be waking up in 3 hours working :)

warnings: slight mention of Albedo x Sucrose (reader thinks they’re together but they’re not)

Xiao:

Seeing you always made his heart flutter in more ways than one. Conversing with you made this feeling stronger— as his adoration for you only grew more and more each passing day.

How long has it been since he first felt like this? About 6 months or so. It only happened when Verr Goldet had asked you to check on the adeptus, noticing a larger difference in his recent behavior towards her.

“Um… Adeptus Xiao… I think?” You would call, being unfamiliar with the yaksha— only ever knowing him from tales from old family. “I’ve been called to check up on you. If everything’s alright, then i’ll get going—”

“Who sent you?” Was all he asked in return— no “thank you’s” or “i’m okay’s” at all. You stayed silent for a moment— a bit intimidated by his rather scratchy and deep voice.

“Mrs. Goldet did. Uh, as i said before, if you’re doing alright, then i’ll be on my way.” You said, and rushed out of his presence as fast as possible. It’s not that you were scared of him or anything, it’s just that his aura was brooding and it sort of freaked you out.

This is what made Xiao quite interested in you— you weren’t like the others that would call out to him in their sleep, or say a few words to the adeptus with only “yes” or “okay” in response. You were different— a word that Xiao hadn’t used to describe anyone in a long while.

Later on, it appeared to be that you would constantly check up on Xiao on your own accord, not entirely realizing that this man you would have frequent conversations with wasn’t like the others. He was… a killing machine, in other words. He wasn’t summoned to have idle chit-chat with a mere human, his only job was to slay the demons that roamed freely upon this world. So why was he enjoying your presence more and more?

Yet, as fast as time passed, you had stopped visiting the boy, becoming engrossed in your own dilemmas. This worried Xiao— of course, after all the time spent together, he knew you were a very capable person— one who didn’t need his protection no matter how many times he would offer it. But now was starting to become an issue. Why?

Because now, he was in love. Which was a predicament for him.

…

He roamed the streets of Liyue, subtly searching every nook and cranny of each and every shop and corner there was, on somewhat of a mission to at least know your whereabouts. He wanted to confront you, scold you about your sudden disappearance, and oppose you about how worried you’ve made him.

As he searched, he heard the faint sound of your voice in the distance, presumably by a nearby shop. His expression slightly lit up, as he was finally able to see you after such a long distance away from each other. He cautiously made his way towards you, attempting to not cause a scene because of his presence. However, as he approached you, he saw the figure of another man next to you.

The face of the infamous fatui harbinger; Childe.

“Childe, i think that was the best story i’ve ever been told before!” You giggled at the harbinger, who stood next to you, leaning on the side of that one restaurant in Liyue.

“Haha, and there’s more to that story that i could tell you about later, dear. But for now, i should probably head out. I’ll tell you more about it tonight, okay love?” Childe smiled and pat your head, before leaving the area.

Xiao was… angry. Sad. anything but happy. His mood changed as soon as he heard the harbinger call you “dear” and “love”. We’re you dating your own enemy? The enemy of Liyue, and basically everything Xiao fought for? How could you betray him like that!

Unless… you were a harbinger as well??

Xiao instantly returned back to his area at the inn, silently thinking about the events he had witnessed for the rest of the night. Yet, during his depressed state, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

“I can’t help you right now, please leave.” Xiao muttered, refusing to look up at whoever was there. However, he saw the familiar shoes and clothes of that one person he’s been searching for.

“Hi, Xiao.” You smiled. His eyes lit up before he looked at you with disappointment. “How are you? Im sorry i’ve been distant with you. A few things came up and I had to help Liyue itself with some causes. Is everything alright?”

He looked back down, his heart hurting due to the emotions he was feeling at the moment. He was happy to see you, to see the face he’s longed to see for what seemed like centuries, and most importantly— his hearted ached for him to just confess his feelings to you and get it over with. But he couldn’t— no way! He can’t compete with a strong harbinger like that!

“I’m fine. Adepti such as myself have no need to be checked up upon by you lousy people.” He said. “Not you in specific.”

You laughed at his last words before taking a seat next to him. “I don’t think that’s true. Every person needs to feel the comfort of another, right? I want to be the one to provide you that warmth, as i see that nobody else does.”

Xiao felt that ping in his chest again. Your words strikes him in such a spot that he could write poems about and for you, endlessly everyday. But his mind wouldn’t let him— he wouldn’t let these feelings of him get the best of him.

“I see. Well in that case, if you would like to be.. my protector, in a sense… indulge in those feelings of yours.” He said, looking at you who was still smiling at him.

Gosh, he could look at you all day and not get bored. He could listen to you all day, and even if his ears were tired of the noise, he would carry on listening to whatever it was that you were spitting out of your mouth.

“Hm… Sure! Id love to be your personal protector, Xiao! Just like you are for me.”

There it was again. That stabbing feeling pulsing around in his chest, starting from the lowest parts of his stomach to the highest peak of his brain. He felt all fuzzy inside— like he was being trapped with the care and affection you brought to him. He almost had to hold his chest— these feelings alone were becoming to much to handle.

“Y/n…” He would say. It was time, he thought. Time to reveal the feelings he’s been hiding for you all this time— in the 6 months he’s known you for, that is.

“What is it? I’m fully listening.”

“I… Love… You.” He finally confessed in broken up phrases. “For a long time… since we first became closer than i would usually be with someone.”

“…Xiao, I…” You would begin. “I’m so glad that you feel that way about me. It makes me really happy knowing that someone I care for loves me a lot. But…”

oh.

“I already love someone with all my heart, Xiao. You’re my first priority— don’t get me wrong! I love you so much, but I’ve already devoted my love to someone else.”

“…I understand.”

And with that last sentence, he vanished.

Albedo:

“Y/n, hand me that beaker on your left,” Albedo said, apparently paying no mind to whatever it was that you were telling him.

“Sure— Albedo, were you even listening to what I was saying?” You said, aggressively giving him the beaker. It took a while for him to respond, but he only did with a “mhm.”

“Sorry, love— ‘been catching up with a few tests i’ve been… uh— assigned. I promise to make it up to you,” He said, still not even turning to look at you.

“I see.” You said. So, you got up and left. Simple as that.

You and Albedo weren’t anything special— just two people who happened to have a few things in common. You both were only friends, well, in Albedo’s eyes. To him, you were nothing short of just some background noise to drown out the sound of empty quietness that caused his ears to ring. Well, you were interesting in other fields as well. You were strong and rather humerous, but other than that, you didn’t…have any other use for him.

…Or so you thought.

In actuality, Albedo loved you. A lot. He always secretly wanted to be by your side at all hours of the day— even when you were sleeping, he wanted to be right next to you, holding you tight. Of course, the stoic Albedo wouldn’t and didn’t admit this to everyone, hell— he even denied his own feelings. The pangs in his heart every time you smiled at him— yeah, he would brush those off as heartburn. But that’s besides the point. Albedo usually thought of you both as more than friends— friends with benifits, perhaps. As in, holding hands, and cute pet names, and forehead kisses— only things couples would do. But no, you always thought that he only followed through with your actions because you initiated them, and he didn’t want to be rude.

…Not knowing about your recent abscence, Albedo called for you again. “Do you think you can hand me that greenish substance near the cabinets?”

“…”

He looked behind him, only just then noticing your disappearance.

“Y/n?”

He finally got up from his seat and looked around for you, thinking that you were just playing that same old hiding truck you always did. However, when he came up empty-handed, that’s when the slight worry kicked in.

He left his workspace, searching for you around. Surely you haven’t gone far— how long has it been since you left? A minute or two?

No, it’s been almost an hour.

An hour of complete silence, Albedo not even checking to see if you were still behind him, in the back of the room.

“…” He frowned as he went back into his small workspace, deciding to finish his test before looking around Dragonspine for you.

…

A few days past since the “incident”, and you finally returned once again. As usual, Albedo was conducting some sort of experiment with Sucrose this time.

“Oh, am I inturrupting something? I’ll swing by later, then.” You muttered and left, before Albedo or Sucrose could even say anything.

You’ll admit— you’ve always been jealous of Sucrose. She’s so pretty and smart, and exactly up Albedo’s ally. They could relate to stuff together and… everything about the two just work out. Besides, it wasn’t unusual for Albedo to dismiss you when Sucrose was there. Sucrose would be welcoming— while Albedo would always try to get you out of there as soon as possible, like you were bothering him.

So with that, you left the two alone to their confusion.

…

It’s been a few weeks since that event, and you went up to Dragonspine one last time to see if you could get any different reaction out of Albedo. But, as usual, he didn’t even recognize your presence.

“Huh? Oh, Y/n. I’m rather busy today, i don’t have time for those nonsensical stories of yours.” He said and stared at you, and that’s when you just…

…never came back.

It’s not like what he said was supposed to come off as rude, though. The stories you told were always wacky and bizarre, nothing that could’ve actually happened in real life. Like, you fighting Osial in Liyue? Nonsense! There’s no way you could’ve fought such a huge beast!

Besides, he really was busy today. He had a few things planned for the two of you, something he wanted to do as an apology for being so distant. So it was only natural for him to not take your feelings as seriously for now.

…

Turns out, you really did never show back up. Albedo was just about to go and purchase the things he needed for your time together, until he realized—

—you weren’t even anywhere in Mondstadt.

Albedo searched for you everywhere— from the tavern to Stormterror’s lair. Yet he just couldn’t seem to find your whereabouts.

He started to get worried— what if something happened to you? What if you needed his help but he didn’t know? His heart began to ache from the anxiety washing over him. You, one of his (unbeknownst to you) precious jewels had gone missing, and he didn’t even know somewhere you could’ve gone.

He went around Mondstadt, asking anyone if they knew where you might’ve gone. Then, he ran into Venti, who just so happened to be his lifesaver.

“Oh, that traveler? Hm… they came to me in tears about how poorly you treated them… In that case, i don’t want to tell you where they went if you hurt their feelings.” Venti frowned at Albedo, who’s eyes widened for a milisecond before he cleared his throat.

“I would just like to apologize to them for my recent behaviour, that is all. Please tell me their whereabouts so i would be able to properly give them my apologies.” Albedo pleaded. Venti thought for a moment before sighing.

“Fine. They told me that they’d be off to Liyue and coming back near sundown. I think you’d be able to catch them then,” Venti shrugged. Albedo thanked him before going back to his lab, awaiting your arrival.

…

So uh, you never really came back when you were expected to.

Albedo waited for days, weeks, months, even— and every time he asked Venti if he saw you, even Venti didn’t have a clue where you went. Eventually, Albedo was just about to give up, until he heard a familiar pattern of footsteps approach his lab.

“Come in, be wary of the broken glass to your right.” He said, focused on writing something down before looking up at the entrance, only to find…

you!

“Y/n…?” He said in somewhat of shock. You waved at him and walked closer, examining what he was working on.

“Oh, i thought on Wednesdays you worked with Sucrose.” You said, a slight scoff afterwards. Albedo shook his head and got up, grabbing ahold of your warm hands.

“No, that’s every other Wednesday. But that’s besides the point. I missed you, Y/n.” He said with a small smile.

“Oh, that’s sweet! I didn’t know you missed my “nonsensical stories”.” You laughed, prying your hands out of his grip. “Anyways, I just came to, uh, check up on you. You know, we’re still friends and stuff, so i wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Albedo’s chest tightened at that phrase. “friends”. Right! You both were only friends, who acted like couples that really weren’t. But do friends really feel sharp pains in their heart, and butterflies in their stomach when they speak to you?

Yeah, i don’t think so.

“Listen, the way i treated you was wrong. So wrong of me. I should’ve taken your feelings into account more, instead of being so indulged in my own things that i don’t even think about you anymore. I love you, Y/n— and i don’t think any amount of alchemy i do could replace those feelings i have for you.” He said, a slight redness tinting his face. You only smiled and back away from him.

“That’s really sweet, Albedo! But i can’t be in a relationship with someone who puts smaller things over me.” You smiled. “Anyways, it was nice to see you again! I hope to see you around Mondstadt more.”

And to that end, you left the room.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #albedo x reader #xiao x reader #angst #genshin #genshin angst #xiao angst #albedo angst #genshin 2.3

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littlerose13writes · 2 years ago

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hello :)

I feel like I’ve left this so long it’s weird now… but I’m v sorry for the radio silence and disappearing from both this account and my Instagram for all this time. It feels a bit presumptuous to even expect enough people to have noticed I wasn’t here to warrant this post, but I can see some absolutely lovely messages checking in and will reply to those shortly, thank you!

I won’t go into a big spiel but the long and short of it is that 2022 has not been a great year for me. I’m struggling with my physical health a LOT and it’s had a huge impact on my mental health too, combined with a job that I do love but has been a huge source of stress for the past few months, I have reached lows I have never even got close to before. I’m doing a bit better now and have a lot of healthy strategies to get me through, but that doesn’t do anything for the physical heath issues I’m still experiencing and unfortunately I’ve not even been able to open my laptop for weeks let alone think about writing. I’m so so sorry to have left shab for so long at such a moment; I was hoping to make this post when I could also say ‘oh and chapter 24 is finished now’ but that’s not true yet. I’m taking a well-deserved holiday this week, my first proper one in three years, and really am hoping to get my writing motivation back and enough spoons to finish the story. There’s 30k words I’ve had written for over a year now sitting in my Google docs waiting to be posted! So soon there will be an update!

I have a small dilemma I hope you can help me with and that is that I don’t know what to do about Spellbinder. I embarked on that project when I was quite literally medically high lol (I’m telling you it’s been a year🤪) and I 100% will never be in the place again to finish it, I’m not sure whether to leave it up with a note explaining I won’t be coming back to it or take it down altogether? Sorry to all the people who recently started following me just for that fic!

Anyway all this to say, thank you for being so patient with me, I’m still here and still wanting to write. I have an original novel I want to get cracking with as soon as shab is complete and I know I can do it - thanks to everyone who has stuck around this long with me and my writing, I appreciate it so much❤️

#rosie rambles #where have I been

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petri808 · 3 years ago

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OHMYGODDD JUST SAW YOUR LATEST POST I LOVE IT ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING IS JUST CHEF'S KISS. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE 42, 49 and 13 FOR NALU PLEASEEE CAN'T WAIT TO READ ITT

😳 Ya’ll really love angst huh? Lol okay, sure let’s see what I can come up with. 😊 “You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!” + “I’m pregnant” + “Im too sober for this”

Lucy’s knees weakened and sent her crumbling to the bathroom floor. Why was this happening to her?! She’d just finished college and was about to start her paid internship with a local newspaper. ‘What am I gonna do?’ Lucy gripped to the stick in her hand as the tears trickled down her face. This could derail her future before it even started— all because of one slip-up. How was she going to tell Natsu… Not knowing who else to talk to, Lucy turned to her best friend Levy McGarden. She texted the woman and drove over to her friends apartment in dread.

“Oh, Lu…” Levy hugged her friend tightly before pulling her into the small apartment. She sat Lucy down on the couch, then made them both some tea. “How you feeling?” Levy asked as she handed the cup over.

“How do you think I’m feeling?!” Lucy groaned. “I feel like I’m in a nightmare.”

“Are you sure the results are correct? You know those home pregnancy tests can be wrong.”

“I don’t know, I mean I followed the instructions and it didn’t give an error sign.” Lucy pulled the stick from her pocket. “See?” She showed it to her friend. “Two lines.”

“Oh— yeah, looks like it,” Levy agreed.

Lucy pocketed the test once again and hung her head. Both hands cradled the warm cup, just holding it without a desire to drink from it. “Just thinking about this is making me sick. Maybe I can just pretend it’s not true.”

“Lu, that’s ridiculous. I’m pretty sure the growing bump on your stomach will make that difficult.”

“Ugh! I know!” Lucy shrieked. “Lie to me or something… Levy, I-I don’t think I can deal with this!”

“Well, you have to. And how am I supposed to lie about this?!”

“I don’t know, tell me this is a dream. Just a bad dream that I’m gonna wake up from. The test was wrong, something! Maybe it’s just a fiction story I’m working on cause I just don’t wanna think about it right now.”

“I’m sorry, but you can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did! Lucy you have to face reality.”

“What am I gonna do Levy? I can’t be having a baby!”

“Well first things first, you need to tell Natsu— I’m assuming it’s Natsu.”

“Of course, it’s Natsu! I haven’t slept with anyone else.”

“Well you need to tell him. He deserves to know.”

“I know…”

“Natsu’s a stand up guy, I know he’s going to do the right thing.”

Lucy sighed, “that’s not what I worry about. I mean having kids is something that’s crossed my mind… just not anytime soon. We’re not even married yet. Ugh! I’m such an idiot.”

“Sometimes these things happen.” Levy placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Can’t go back to the past, so now all you can do is figure out the now. Do you have any idea when it happened?”

“My guess is my graduation party, cause that was the last time we had sex. I barely even remember it cause I was so drunk,” Lucy whimpered, then started to sob. “We’re usually careful but… yeah, it had to be that.”

“Come here,” Levy pulled her friend into a hug. “You’re gonna be okay. Whatever happens, you’re gonna be okay.”

The women spent a couple more hours chatting, flipping between random topics, but often coming back to this one. Lucy struggled to even wrap her mind around the reality that this is real. That she was going to have a child, when she was barely an adult herself and all the factors involved only compounded her dilemma. Her new job isn’t going to afford a child. Natsu had a decent job, but even combined it would be a struggle. They’d have to find a place together, a two bedroom house or apartment. What about the medical expenses, and the baby supplies— babies are expensive! Where was the money going to come from?

When Lucy noticed the time and realized Natsu would be coming home from work within the hour, she thanked her friend for the support and bid her goodbye. Even though she had calmed down a little, she wasn’t ready, didn’t know what or how she was going to break the news to him. So, after arriving home, Lucy tried to distract herself by cooking dinner. It didn’t really work, but at least a meal was made. Her life until now had been going well in that she had a boyfriend who treated her right, supported her while she finished her degree, even pushed her to follow her dreams of writing. And now that her degree was finished, Lucy was on her way after landing the paid internship. If she passed the internship, they would offer her a permanent position at the newspaper.

But now all of that felt like it was slipping through her fingers. All her hard work for nothing because juggling a small child and going to work… Maternity leave is not paid, so they’ll have to rely on just one income for a time, then daycare is quite expensive. Sure, there are programs that she could apply for to help or family, but that’s not the point— the point is, they are sorely not ready to become parents.

“I’m home!” Natsu called out as he entered the apartment. “Something smells good!”

“Welcome home, Natsu.” Lucy called out from the kitchen. “It’s almost done.”

Natsu detected a change in his girlfriend’s tone. Usually when he gets home, she’s in a happier mood— but not today. He threw his keys onto the kitchen island and walked up, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Everything okay?”

Whatever words she’d planned to say were thrown out the window as tears pooled instantly in Lucy’s eyes. “Natsu, it’s…”the words stumbled out, “um… I-I’m pregnant.”

“P-Preg…nant?!” Natsu took a step back in shock, his trembling hand moving to cover his mouth. “Oh, wow— I’m too sober for this,” he mumbled.

“Pregnant,” she repeated as the sobs broke free. “And alcohol is what got us into this mess!” Lucy snapped and sobbed louder.

“Oh, h-hey now, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Natsu pulled her into his arms. “Don’t cry baby, please don’t cry, I hate seeing you cry.”

“Natsu, I’m pregnant, did you hear me?! Pregnant! I can’t be pregnant!”

“Shh… I hear you,” he gently coaxed Lucy to the couch and had her sit down, then sat beside her, cradling her close. “True, it’s not the best time… but we can make it work.”

“You don’t understand, I’m not ready, Natsu. I don’t think I could handle it…” all the reasons refreshing in her mind. “I have no experience with with kids. What if we screw up? It’s just…” Lucy sighed. “I think… I’m too overwhelmed right now.”

“Okay, well— they make those things now, the, um, end pregnancy stuff.”

“I don’t know…”

“Lucy, I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

“You say that now, but later you’ll probably resent me for… kil— doing that,” she mumbled.

“I don’t know that so neither can you. All I do know is that yes it might hurt— but you’re the important thing right now, and if you say you’re not ready, then I have to accept it. Kids are never easy, I doubt all the preparation in the world can really make a difference. But Lucy,” he took her hand and held it to his chest. “As long as I’ve known you, whatever you choose to do you’re great at it.”

“Really?” She looked up with hope filling her eyes for the first time all day.

Natsu smiled. “And who better to start a family with?” He cupped her cheeks and kissed her. “Then a smart, sassy, beautiful woman like you.”

Lucy’s eyes flooded with tears. “You really think we can make it work?”

He nodded. “As long as it’s something we really want, then yeah.”

After a momentary pause, Lucy let out a long stabilizing exhale. “Okay. I’ll call my doctor and make an appointment tomorrow to check.”

“Really? Y-You sure? Because I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to coax you into this.”

“No, I-I’m pretty— sure. Things sometimes happen for a reason, right? Maybe it’s meant to be.”

Natsu pulled her in for another longer kiss. “Guess I better hurry up and marry you then,” he chuckled.

She snorted a laugh. “I guess so mister!”

He pulled her close again, hugging her to his chest. “I love you so much baby.”

“Mmm, I love you too.”

“My own baby momma,” he teased.

Lucy slapped his chest with a giggling shriek. “Don’t you dare call me that!”

“Oh,” he grinned, “I’m totally getting t-shirts made.”

#fairy tail #nalu #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #nalu drabble #nalu fan fic #nalu fan fiction #nalu au #pregnancy

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sanktyastag · 3 years ago

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genuinely so confused with people who hate show!darklng. show!darkling is as much of a part of oppressed minority as book!darkling is but with even more 'validation' for his purpose, and i see people still hate show!him saying "oh but he is very bad in book" but then i see them rooting for book m*l LIKE HOWWW [i do kinda understand with those who dislike book!darkling but im still as baffled when when they root for book m*l]

ah, the good old darkling vs mal debate, lol.

in all honesty, i think whether someone prefers mal or the darkling when they watch/read SaB really comes down to how different fans like to engage with media.

i really enjoy politics, moral ambiguity, and fiction as a tool to examine real world oppression. as a result (and incredibly predictably to every single person who knows me) my favorite character is the darkling, because his character is a great lense to examine those different aspects of the series from. but, let's be honest here - both the books and the show only engage in politics, gray morality, and discrimination and oppression against minorities in like... the most surface-level way possible. if you're not already prone to getting over-invested in those fictional aspects, there's very little incentive to do so - because both the books and the show only set the darkling up as a focal point to examine those concepts in book 1, when alina thinks he could possibly be a good person. as soon as the darkling is revealed to be an eViL mAnIpUlAtOr, quite literally all of the nuance is stripped from his character, and we no longer engage with any valid points he may or may not have.

which means, if you're not super interested in socio-political worldbuilding, or you don't really want to examine war from a philosophical or moral standpoint, the books and show won't make you, and so it's nice and easy to just view the darkling as the amoral antagonist who needs to be taken down. i honestly don't blame fans for not liking him in the books, because the books don't... really want you to. and the show does pretty much the same thing. the show stops sympathizing with the darkling the second baghra lets the truth drop, and so every single thing he was previously shown to care about is now framed as the manipulation of an evil, calculating villain. so if a fan looks at the darkling, sees all the evil shit he does, and doesn't want to look past all of that, in order to critically examine his character, and the biased way he's viewed... i mean. yeah. then they wouldn't be a fan of his. they're more than justified in that, in my opinion. "this character is interesting, you just have to look past all the nonsensical extremist, stupid bullshit he does that harms everyone around him" isn't going to be a universal opinion, and i don't blame them for not wanting to go out of their way to sympathize with an uncompromising, murderous bastard who doesn't really respect anyone else's opinions other than his own (which, i think, is true even of show!darkling, although he feels worse about the fact that he's screwing people over. like he might cry about it, but he's still going to go forward with his plan, regardless of who objects). there's a reason darklina fans spend so much time writing about what they think would have been a more satisfying or interesting character arc for the darkling to go through - because canon absolutely doesn't do him any favors. like at all.

and on the other side, there's mal. i actually like both show and book mal, even though i don't think book mal was always handled incredibly well. i think he's a fairly sympathetic character with phenomenally bad coping mechanisms, and that the story spends essentially no time actually exploring his negative character traits in a meaningful way, which means, again, that we're given a character who the audience is tasked with doing most of the legwork for, if they want to like him. just like darkling fans very rarely excuse every single thing he's ever done, i don't actually see mal fans defend all the shit he pulls - beyond when both sides are baiting each other, in which case everyone seems to say the most black and white shit i've ever heard. but that's just kind of how online discourse works, so i won't judge people based off that, lol.

i think most fans of book mal seem to take his character, examine his negative traits and where they stem from, pick how they, personally, would like to see those issues addressed, and then put in the work to give him and alina the breathing room to do go through that character growth together.

so, by and large, i think fans of book mal and show mal just have different concepts that they find interesting or satisfying to explore in the media that they like. i obviously can't speak for others, but generally with mal and alina, i do think it's an interesting coming of age story, and has a smaller-scale, trauma-focused approach to the over-arching, wide-scale moral dilemmas that i focus on when i think about the darkling and alina. they're two flawed characters, thrust into a horrible situation, and they're desperately trying to get through it together, while fighting for the happy, peaceful lives that no one else has ever cared about them achieving.

so, yeah. in the end, i think it's really about what a fan wants from the media they consume. there's not really a wrong answer, in my opinion. it's only when people start judging each other over their fictional preferences that things start getting rocky, which is something that both darkling/alina shippers and mal/alina shippers could probably be better about, as needlessly antagonistic posts are prominent in both ship tags.

#djafljkdalk i'm sorry if this isn't the answer you wanted anon. but it was an interesting chance to explore both ships!#even though trying to word my thoughts on them was... very difficult lol #because i have very strong opinions - both good and bad - on both #like at the end of the day there IS a reason i ship one of these ships more than the other #but it's an entirely personal preference that has to do with me liking certain tropes more than others #i think they're both equally bad in canon tbqh. i just have more fun exploring darklina stuff than i do mal/alina #but in general i think the romance focus of this series kind of ruined an otherwise interesting story </3 #say it with me folks. we're not anti the ships. we're anti the writing that never fully explored anything satisfactorily #and also we're anti the fans that make hating other ships like half of their personality #shadow and bone #darklina #anti leigh bardugo #mostly for my tags i guess lakdjflak

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meimae · 3 years ago

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4/3/22

Been a little busy, but here's my February Immersion Overview!

You'd think I'd immerse less this month given that there was only 28 days, but this is probably the best I've done especially in terms of reading, and I'm still giving myself a bit of a pat on the back for it.

Let's get into the details, shall we?

ANIME

Me? Watch anime? Never!

Oh, wait. I watched Angel Beats! this month. I had always planned to watch it after I finished the VN (the same goes for every anime or drama that originated from some form of reading content really), and I'm glad that I finally did because the pacing felt way better. Shows like this shines in its comedic timing, and while I am getting a bit faster at reading, the pacing still felt really slow compared to just watching the anime. It also concludes the show properly; we get to see the true end pan out, something the VN didn't cover because it delves into each character's backstory more. Glad I finally get to graduate from this story as well. For now. Angel Beats! Next, Next Beat when?

DRAMA

I watched one drama again this month. An anime and only one drama? Seriously, what is going on?

やめるときも、すこやかなるときも was pretty short, and semi melodramatic, but it wasn't as bad as how its currently rated in MDL. It tried its best to showcase how two individuals dealt with their trauma and how they ended up facing it together in the end. It was sweet actually.

GAMING

To add more to my weird immersion choices, I decided to delve into and start playing the Japanese localized version of Stardew Valley after watching hundreds of Youtube videos on it. I can't say that its the best way to spend reading time, but it is a good way to relax without thinking that I'm wasting my time gaming. It's pretty comfortable to read now (although sometimes the font throws me off lol), and knowing where everything is, just in case I'm too lazy to look up words, is comforting.

GRAMMAR

Remember when I said last month that I wanted to concentrate and study grammar more? Yeah.....no. At the beginning of the month, I spent a lot of time dawdling, thinking about how to go about it. I figured I could just continue making Anki cards for them, but realized that I keep quitting my reps for them midway anyway. So, I started reading them instead, even computing how many days it would take to read all of them without feeling like death. Then I stopped....oops. I swear I'm trying really hard, but forcing study time makes me not want to immerse too which is very counterproductive. It's not as if I hadn't read up on all of this before anyway. This is literally a refresher course to nail everything down...if I can just stay motivated enough for it.

LIGHT NOVEL

So while I was having a pretty shallow dilemma, I started reading a bit of 無職転生 again. I figured I don't like 異世界 plotlines that much, but I'm curious why people praise this as the one 異世界 you can't skip out on.

PODCASTS

Still very much into podcasts, since I can actually follow them now. Read to listen, fellas.

I need to find more podcasts to mix it up, so if you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment.

YOUTUBE

I rarely talk about my quest for good Youtube 実況s, and キヨ。is definitely someone I can recommend. This is probably the most chaotic let's play of Undertale I've ever seen, definitely a must watch. Again, if you have Youtube channels you use for immersion, especially female gamers, do drop a comment.

VISUAL NOVELS

Excerpt from my post on The Moe Way Discord server: "Roughly 380 days later and after 760 hours of reading everyday, I managed to hit 10 million characters read from visual novels...I saw a significant comprehension increase in both my reading and listening skills, and overall less time spent doing anki reps due to seeing them often when I read."

So yes, the visual novels are truly the backbone of my immersion these days. Who knew that it would mean so much to me now, even though I've never read one before I used them for language learning. Don't shun it til you try it, I guess.

I also did a personal reading challenge with them early this month: read 100k characters everyday for 10 days. Took that goal, smashed it, and read 1,411,512 in 11 days and finished both White Album 2 and 君と彼女と彼女の恋。in the process. As a length comparison, that's like reading around 13 or 14 short light novels. In total, I read 1.75 million characters this month, a new personal best. ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧

I have to say that it required me to read something I really enjoyed (White Album 2, easiest 10/10 I'll ever give), and something really easy (Totono) for me to complete the challenge, which just proves that a combination of comprehensible input and genuine interest in the media is the way to huge language gains in a short period of time.

Might have given myself major White Album 2 withdrawals though, because oh boy, everything feels inferior to it now, and I kept switching VNs just to rid myself of the feeling.

That said, I think the rest of my picks have all been interesting: finally feel comfortable enough with my level to start Fate/Stay night although I will be continuing it in April instead for The Moe Way's quarterly reading challenge. Also, picked up and shuffle reading literally every monthly VN challenge in the club namely サマーポケッツ, サクラノ詩－櫻の森の上を舞う－, シュタインズ・ゲート, because they are all interesting in different ways and are quite big VN fan favorites.

The one I dropped almost immediately though was something I thought I'd like because it was the same developer as 剣が君, ブラックウルヴスサーガ -ブラッディーナイトメア- because it freaked me out somehow faster than オメガヴァンパイア (although I did give OV more of a fighting chance at redemption before giving up and dropping the last two routes.)

I once thought that I'd be a bigger, general fan of joseimuke content, but it seems that I only like romantic and fluffy 乙女ゲーム or 女性漫画, because they likely won't include really disturbing and triggering content (...I say as I read Taishou Alice), and I read to de-stress and not to get stressed. My comfort levels are being tested and I don't like it.ヾ(｡>﹏<｡)ﾉﾞ

I guess nothing still beats the impact 剣が君 had on me, the way White Album 2 does for me now in なきげ.

-☆-

That's it for this month! I'm nearing two years of immersion so stick around for my post for that. I'll probably also drop my review for White Album 2, because I already wrote and posted a good part of it in the club. Although I enjoyed a lot of what I've read the past couple of months, nothing has hit me like White Album 2 has, that it actually inspired me to write about it in the club as soon as I finished it.

Truthfully, writing in depth reviews all the time when I finish so many very quickly is quite difficult for me, and I've managed to hit quite the writers block, but I'll still try my best to get them out as soon as I can.

Thanks for reading, and I'll catch up with you all again soon! ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ

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vina-writes · 4 years ago

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This is shamelessly inspired by this post and @xx-thedarklord-xx’s editions lol

(i)

Ron considers himself an honest man. He’s just trying to sneak into the armoury. It’s straightforward theft, simple and respectable, if not particularly elegant. It also shouldn’t be all that challenging, considering he’s been a castle scullion for two months; he knows the gatehouse inside and out. He’s clocked the guard changes. He’s even tested the doors— the southern entrance has the weakest lock.

That’s why Ron also considers himself a smart man— nay, a prepared man. He’s thought ahead, and feels ever so valiant and debonair as he sneaks down the stone corridors. Which is why he’s surprised to turn the corner and find two guards leaning against opposite sides of the door he’s itching to get his mitts on.

“Er.” Ron glances between the two of them.

“Good evening,” one says. He doesn’t look all that strong for a guard, and for a second Ron wonders if running might be worth the hassle of potentially getting beaten to a pulp.

“Right.” The second brushes his hands off on his trousers and pushes off the wall. “I’ll be having that, then,” he nods at Ron’s lock-pick. “And it’d be helpful if you could hold out your wrists for me.”

“Er,” Ron says again. Perhaps Hermione had been right to laugh at his self-proclaimed titles. ‘Prepared’ doesn’t fit into this scenario all that well.

“Wait just a minute.” The first guard straightens. “This is perfect timing. I’d say we let him go if he solves our little dilemma.”

“There’s no dilemma, Draco—”

Draco, however, doesn’t seem to agree. “Are you good with riddles, Thief?” He says.

“Here we go,” his companion mutters. Draco ignores him and eyes Ron expectantly.

“Er—” then, because Ron is smart and suave and prepared, he settles on “—yes?”

“Excellent. Now— one of us tells the truth. The other only tells lies.”

Ron stares at him. “That’s the riddle.”

“Yes.” Draco lifts his hand to inspect his fingernails. “Go on then. Which of us looks like a filthy little liar to you? Is it my innocent, slighted, scorned self, or is it that slimy bastard who’s skulking in the corner?”

“Fucking hell, Draco, I said I was sorry—”

“Not sorry enough, Harry, considering you made me wait three sodding hours in the rain only for me to find out you were keeping the kitchen girls company.” Ron’s getting the feeling he’s bitten off significantly more than he can chew.

“It was an accident! I forgot!”

“Good thing to know I’m that forgettable.”

“You’re not— argh!” Harry turns and kicks the wall in apparent frustration. Oh, Ron definitely doesn’t want to be a part of whatever this is. He starts inching his way back down the hall, cursing himself for thinking he could ever be sneaky. Fred and George were right.

“Hold it!” Draco barks at him. “You’re not going anywhere until you settle this.”

“What do you want him to say?” Harry throws his arms up. “That you’re right and I’m perpetually wrong? That I’m the bane of your existence and I should cower in the face of your fury?”

“That would be a nice start, yes.”

“I’ve already bloody done that!”

“Well, since you’re a rotten liar, I’m not particularly inclined to believe you.”

Ron has to hand it to Draco— he’s maintaining a terrifying aura of icy nonchalance that would put Hermione to shame.

“What do you want from me?” Harry wails. “Roses? Jewels? For me to tattoo ‘I’m sorry’ on my arse and proclaim that I love you in the town square?”

Well, shit. Point to Harry. Ron imagines Draco’s thinking so too, from the way his pale cheeks have turned an unattractive shade of red. Harry doesn’t look much better. He seems to have realized what he’s admitted. Ron’s banking on it being a secret.

It’s all rather awkward from there.

“You— you do?” Draco asks.

“Er.” Harry says. “Um. Yes. Yeah, I do.”

“Oh.” Draco fidgets. “Me too.”

“Just kiss him,” Ron groans.

Harry does. It’s passionate, and emotional, and— kind of gross, from where Ron’s standing. He gives them a few moments before fleeing down the corridor at top speed.

There’s nothing quite like that to set a man on the straight and narrow.

#drarry #vina writes #drarry fic

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primrose-path-of-dalliance · 4 years ago

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alright. [claps hands together and rubs them] time to be positive for you guys!

specifically, i want to talk about one sweet conversation from e121: between yasha and jester during their nighttime watch.

to preface, i see yasha as the biggest caleb stan in the party who actually understands his internal conflicts and turmoil (and caleb feels similarly for yasha). veth loves the man and has supported him in just about every endeavour as the most enthusiastic and confident, but one journey she has never been able to accompany him on is the violent guilt, depression, and trauma of being a now-repentant war criminal lol. yasha and caleb’s conversation in e92 illustrated quite plainly that this shared understanding would be the foundation of their friendship. the ending of e106, when caleb tells yasha to “let herself some happiness” and she hugs him, cements this deeply.

to reflect on their conversation in e92, though: yasha knows that caleb is in love with someone, and that they’re a woman. ashley made some gestures to obfuscate at the time, reminding everyone that neither of them elaborated on who they were thinking of.

but i believe she knows caleb is in love with jester. the timing of e92 is conspicuous when it’s directly after e91, when caleb took jester aside before they went to bed and reassured her about travelercon/the traveler. while it followed the scene of nott’s kiss with caleb as well, what’s notable is how little of that scene had to do with caleb’s potential feelings. a major image of lollipops and hamster-unicorns and saying you’ve been working on it for weeks, then stuttering on “you have done so much for m—all of us” (as if about to say ‘me’ instead) is a little different.

but prim, yasha wasn’t there for that scene, you might say. how does this matter? well, caleb and jester's conversation wasn’t that private. he caught her in a hallway, where nott had been as well before excusing herself. my suspicion has to do with the fact that yasha peeking out of her room and accidentally overhearing and/or seeing some of that conversation is very much in the realm of possibility.

anyway, to my point!

let’s assume yasha knows that caleb is in love with jester. the curious dilemma is that caleb very clearly does not want to address it. his reaction to her question in e92 alarmed her—and she apologized. the fact that she has yet to bring it up again, either to him or to anyone else, suggests that she’s trying to recognize and respect his boundaries here.

in this context, yasha’s responses to jester re: her burgeoning relationship with fjord are intriguing. some relevant quotes (transcribed to the best of my ability):

YASHA: How do you feel about him [Fjord]?

JESTER: I mean... [She pauses to think, smiling.] He... It—it kind of feels different than I thought it would? After all of the books that I read, you know? Like it feels like... like we know each other really well. In all those books that I read, it’s two strangers coming together and forging this passionate affair! And it—[with laughter] it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like... like it feels comfortable instead?

YASHA: Hm...

JESTER: But in a good way?

YASHA: Well, from my experience—which is not a lot—I’ve found that... that passion and the love for somebody sort of is stronger the more you know them and the more you love them and... you know, I read—I read books, but I don’t feel like it’s ever really like that. It’s better.

[...]

YASHA: Well, I’m excited for you. No pressure, whatever happens. But... how beautiful, to explore those things.

compared to jester’s own excitement about yasha and beau, yasha does not express any similar excitement for fjord. her side of the conversation is instead focused on jester's experience.

this deliberate omission of any expectations on yasha’s side can be taken in a few ways. yasha clearly understands that this is a dynamic jester is excited to explore and is doing so for the first time. to emphasize that there’s “no pressure” is almost certainly because she wants to reassure jester that she’s willing to support her no matter what.

through a widojest lens, though—mine specifically—this also reads as yasha hedging her support of jester in a relationship with fjord specifically. although she won’t out caleb, so to speak, or betray what he told her in confidence, she is trying to maintain her support of him by being reserved on fjord and jester’s developing relationship.

to push this further, her response to jester’s assessment of a lack of ‘passion’ in their relationship so far is curious for how hesitant it is. to requote:

again, this can be understood in multiple ways. from one angle, this could be interpreted as both a reassurance and promise of things to come should they continue. the implication is that jester and fjord’s relationship has only just begun, so perhaps things will change as time passes and they grow closer.

from a widojest perspective, yasha’s hesitant response reads like a subtle warning. it suggests that if jester and fjord really do know each other so well already, then the passion should be there. if it isn’t, then how much does jester really romantically love fjord?

personally, i’m sitting here with a bag of popcorn eager to discover how jester grows into the kind of woman she wants to be. i adore yasha for being in the same boat, and i’m excited to find out if my widojest bias is in the right too.

#cr spoilers #cr meta #widojest #widojest meta #fjorester critical #anti fjorester #(it isn't really but i respect anyone with a blocklist who would not want to see posts like this)#prim says some things #prim post #long post

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dreamii-yume · 4 years ago

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Hiya~ Can I request a sinfic featuring yan!riddle where he uses an aphrodisiac on his fem!darling? ^v^ thanks in advance if you every try to write this!

Tried to implement some Mommy kink for our Baby Riddle but meh...Yume didn’t quite get there lol I’m sorry~ I’ll do your mommy kink justice someday, Riddle! {{ (>_<) }}

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎︎

It's petty, it goes against the rules, against every moral lesson he was taught, and as the older one, Riddle knew how immature this was of him. But he just loves you so much that it's only fair for you to feel the same thing, right? It's a completely valid reason!

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Riddle was not one to show emotions to make himself feel and look vulnerable to others.

It doesn't matter if they're a close friend or anyone he's familiar with, he just thinks that it's unnecessary for him to do so. Especially after his overblotting incident, it's just his duty to do what's right and recognize his past mistakes. For the first time in so long, he was corrected, he was wrong in so many ways, and he whole-heartedly accepted that. It was a blessing that his own dorm ended up forgiving his tyranny, being able to celebrate another successful unbirthday party as if Riddle hadn't done anything wrong at all. He was lucky to have such understanding friends, but the fact that they forgave him this easily was the exact reason why he's so conflicted with such a massive amount of guilt.

They were so nice despite after everything, just too loyal and accepting that Riddle's heart aches just remembering that he once took advantage of that loyalty. The guilt still chains him up and it was suffocating, but he knew he must not show such emotions. It doesn't change the fact that he's the Dorm Leader, the current King of Heartslabyul, he shouldn't burden anyone with such trivial things such as guilt. They don't have to know, if this was the price for his past actions, then he shall suffer through it all alone. No one needed to get involved in his personal matters, not again.

"...Are you sad, Riddle-san?"

No one...but you, who personally knocked ever so gently against the walls he built around himself.

Riddle didn't know if you were aware of his dilemma or had just consulted him out of pure instinct but he'd be lying if he said that he wasn't caught off guard that one day. It was the end of another unbirthday party that you and Grimm were invited to. You had dared to place your hand on his head, stroking his hair once and even asked such an outrageous question. Suffice to say, he was surprised, it left his mouth open but words don’t seem to come out. It also occurred to him that you might've done that deed unconsciously as he could practically see the realization coming down upon you, retracting your hands from his head almost immediately.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry...! I touched you without thinking..." You had apologized, bowing repeatedly but eventually looked up with an embarrassed smile. You scratched the back of your head, a tiny blush decorating your cheeks, feeling silly. "...I guess I just felt something really odd about you today, Riddle-san. It's probably just my imagination but still..."

"...Please cheer up. I'm sure no one would want to see you sad." You said, giving him a close-eyed smile and an awkward ‘Cheer-Up’ pose. "If you have something on your mind, feel free to share them with any of us!"

With Grimm screaming for you from the distance, you gave him one last smile and bowed before turning to your monster friend. Riddle didn't even get to say anything as he stood there, watching your figure disappear in the distance. He found himself reaching for his own head, on the same exact spot that your hand was in and looked down. That was unexpected, he really should get his act together if someone like you was able to tell. It was a relief that you didn't pry too much, that would've been a problem.

...Though, Riddle couldn't deny that something in him felt a little giddy for someone to see through him without words. The way you placed your hand on his head, the way your eyes looked at him, even if it was all done unintentionally. It made his face heat up and his heart could only beat so fast.

They all felt so gentle and sincere. He liked it.

But even so, Riddle turned around, clearing his throat and shaking his head awake out of such a ridiculous daydream. What is he talking about? Patting his head is a major offense to him personally! It's gesture that makes him feel inferior and doing so will immediately prompt him to decapitate your head off.

However, Riddle narrowed his eyebrows together and pat his reddening cheeks twice, just to calm himself down. You did recognize your mistake and it wasn't intentional after all so...He'll let you off the hook. He might've just been surprised, that's all, there was no more reason to fret over your touch like this.

Riddle needs to get his everything together, he's your senior, for god's sake.

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...Was what he told himself, correct? He thought he was done with this.

Someway, somehow, Riddle found himself inviting you for a private tea party with him one day. He doesn't like this, it feels like he's favoring you way too much, he doesn't even do this with Trey and the others. But one look at your troubled expression in the library that day was enough for him to come and talk to you. Seriously, had he really become this easy to catch these days? Anyways, your woes laid down on a subject that involves magic, it was probably why you look so troubled about it.

"You'll teach me? Really?"

That spark in your eyes was something Riddle had never seen before, it intrigued him for some reason. He originally thought that you were suspicious, suddenly appearing out of nowhere without a single ounce of magic. You ended up becoming a student, a half-student to precise, and not to mention a girl in a prestigious all-boys school that Night Raven. It already sounded problematic in papers and by ear, your whole existence in this school is a clear violation of rules! However, once he took a closer look at the bigger picture of your situation, only then did it occur to him how harmless you really are.

After all, you were just a normal girl who always seems to get involve in a situation you didn't ask for in the first place.

"I see...So, that's how it is." You said, humming. Even without magic to perform the activities written on the text book, you somehow understood the basic concept of the topic. As expected of Heartslabyul's Dorm Leader, his strict but careful manner of teaching was no joke.

Gracefully placing down his cup on a saucer, Riddle ran his finger smoothly on the huge block of text in the textbook. "You don't need magic to remember these formulas, correct? As long as you memorized all of them with accuracy, you'll have no problems in the upcoming tests." Riddle advised as you nodded, mentally taking notes of each and every one of his words. "Now, try to answer this next question with a different method. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out the trick soon enough."

True to what he said, you managed to answer all the questions in your homework and Riddle couldn't help but be amused with your reaction. You look so relieved that you were able to finish them in such a short period of time and with confidence too. This made him want to brag about how he could finish paper works at this amount in an even shorter time frame and with everything guaranteed to be correct just so he could see your amazed reaction. But he decided against it, thinking of how immature of a move it was.

"Riddle-san, you're really amazing...I could never do these things by myself." You whispered with a small laugh as you leaned down on the table, resting your head that had been starting to ache from all the memorization you've been doing. Riddle wanted to criticize your laid-back posture but, in the end, he kept it all on his own. Your exhaustion was to be expected after all, it’s understandable.

Riddle tilted his head to the side. "...Is that so? I do think this is normal for my age." He said, which merely made you laugh nervously and drop a sweat. What he said just proved how much of a genius this child is, having the personality of a workaholic. However, you noticed how he slouched down slightly, with something oddly lonely in his eyes. "...This is what I've been taught all my life after all. I have to be the best of the best."

Ah, of course, he's not a genius without a cost. That much is understandable at least. "That's not true." You said without thinking, making Riddle turn to look at you. Your eyes were closed as if you were in the verge of falling asleep but that dazed, gentle smile remains on your face, telling him that you're still wide awake. "No one can be the 'best' out of the best. A child shouldn't grow up to believe that they can."

"...But unfortunately so, Riddle-san did, didn't he?" You phrased the words like it was supposed to be a response to yourself rather than to him. You opened your eyes, sympathy overflowing from within them that it makes Riddle's heart ache. "I can't imagine how painfully lonely that must've been, enduring and following all those crazy rules."

"But you know? It doesn't have to be like that anymore, you have friends who'll listen and spend time with you now." You said. "You can eat all the tart you want and not have to worry about breaking any rules for even just a second. It doesn't hurt to have fun once in a while."

"That's why, Riddle-san doesn't need to be the best of the best. You don't even have to listen to your mother if you, yourself knew how unreasonable her words are. You are your own person, after all." Riddle looked up at you and you couldn't help but to think of him as a little puppy, learning how to do his first trick for the first time. However, you blinked and covered your mouth when you realized that you just said something extremely rude in regards to his mother. "A-Ah! T-That's not to bad-mouth your mother or anything! I'm sure she was trying in her own way...! I think…?"

A tinge of awkwardness decorated your features as you sat properly on your seat, scratching the back of your head. "...But the point is...I just don't see why Riddle-san needs to be the best at everything. You're already fine the way you are." You said, looking down as you begin to feel really embarrassed of what you're saying. "Honestly, if you were my son, I'd be the proudest mother in the whole world~! No doubt about it!"

Widening his eyes at what you said, Riddle couldn't help but look down as different kinds of emotions swirling inside of him. His mouth twitched but he didn’t know whether to smile or to frown, he's incredibly indecisive right now. But his eyes did soften though, your last words had echoed over and over again inside his head, blocking out every other words that came after. He felt all warmed up on the inside that he clutched his chest tight and didn't seem to hear you say "Just kidding~" in a playful manner. You'll be the proudest mother you said, an actual proud mother who can be proud of someone like him.

"...Honestly, it would've been nice if you were indeed my mother in the first place..." He whispered with a strained, quavering voice, his hand clenching harder on his chest. How laughable, he's older than you and yet, he could actually feel himself at ease, consulting you like this.

"Eh...? Eh!? Riddle-san!?" You were about question him, trying to process if what you heard was correct. However, you quickly shot up from surprise in your seat as you looked at the red-haired's expression, a few drops of glistening tears began to overflow from his eyes. "W-Why are you crying...!? Aah, I'm sorry, I-I was joking...! I'm not gonna do it again, okay-"

"Hey..." Before you could say any more, you flinched as Riddle grabbed your hand, shutting you up completely. You fell into silence as he slowly brought your hand up on top of his head, your heart beating in anticipation. "Could you do it again...? Please?"

You felt your face heating up, not knowing how to process this turn of events. It was supposed to be a joke, an example to strengthen a point that you were trying to make. Still, Riddle seemed to have taken it seriously and you couldn't help but to feel a little sympathetic. It just proves that this child had been hungry, yearning for some needed motherly affection that he never got as a child. So desperate in fact, that he's willing to believe that silly little statement of yours.

Your eyes softened as you went closer to him and began to stroke his hair as gently as you could. You watched him sniffle, his shoulders shaking slightly as he tries to keep his cries at a minimum. "...You're still in pain, aren't you? You poor thing..." You said with a smile, purposely making your voice as soft as possible to give him the sense of comfort. "There, there...It'll be alright. Everything's going to be alright."

With that, Riddle couldn't help himself anymore and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. Sitting on his little throne, he buried his face on your stomach, his tears staining your uniform but you didn't mind. All you could really do was to continue stroking his hair and welcomed his head in an embrace. "...Thank you for enduring everything all this time, you've been such a good boy." You comforted, closing your eyes and Riddle could just melt against you. "But we're here now, you don't have to worry anymore. From now on, you'll never feel lonely again."

"You've done an excellent job, Riddle. I'm so proud."

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Continue the Spice~?

Yume had to force herself to buy a new laptop because she knew she wouldn’t be able to survive Online Class without one (c" ತ,_ತ) I’m quite a stranger to electronics really, but I’m learning as I go, but I still miss my old laptop aaaa- （；＿；）

BUT NEVERMIND THAT!

Yume had reach 500+ followers! That many Darlings!? Isn’t it crazy!? (´；Д；`) To think this blog could actually reach that much lol Yume just wanted to release some hornii \(//∇//)\ Thank you very much, Sweethearts~! My fellow Hornii people ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

...I’m excited for the next few Sinfics (΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)

#yandere twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #yandere #riddle rosehearts #yandere riddle rosehearts #heartslabyul #sinfic #Spicy Dream

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