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ARR wolgraha my beloved
#ffxiv#wolgraha#g'raha tia#my art#doodle#i wanna be back here and post more again... that means more ffxiv#so you can unfollow if not interested#man they're so precious to me#they're not a couple during ARR just close and very affectionate#g'raha leaves before anything more happens#i need more ffxiv accounts to follow#rn my dash is... a bunch of idk what really
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TRASH 🚮 Speedpaint | Alt under cut:
#artists on tumblr#illustration#original character#ibblescribbles#ibbleoc#ibbleoc_ai#guess i should change his character tag to that#thats his name!!!!!!#watch the speedpaint if only for the music pls i love the music selection#ummm i feel like i had more to say#i worked hard on this piece#lowkey afraid it will flop bc its oc art but also oh well im still happy with it#i got the internal validation and dopamine hit out of it already#i hope people come to love and have interest in my ocs tho#i just gotta draw them 1 billion times#this was very self indulgent#i like blood#i like tears#i like uhmmmm i like shoes#oh yeah ig i should put cw's#tw blood#tw bullying#tw cigarettes#all i can think of but lmk if you need another tw? i will try my best to remember when i srb but heads up i can forget sometimes#so if illustrated content like this bothers you; you may want to unfollow!
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youtube
1 year on YouTube!! You have questions I have answers 💥
#sorry this isn’t marble hornets#I have a video coming up on it so don’t press unfollow just yet#you can once I fully move on I GUESS#which I have not (yet?)#idek#hyperfixation or special interest idk#youtube#qna
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on a note to all: my plotting style is something i like to call i have adhd and if i see you on the dash and have an idea chances are i’ll im you about it. i’m an anxious little dude who isn’t always active in a broad scope, and it’s always been my nature to reach out to people. that doesn’t make me even remotely anxious. not even remotely expected to answer me — i totally get it, sometimes you don’t feel the vibe — but a general psa about how i work. i come from the dinosaur era where the only way to communicate with one another on any level was to directly talk to them and frankly i don’t even know how else you’re ever supposed to plot with a person otherwise. like… how do you write if you never talk????
#CLAWS RETRACTED.#[honest to god this isn’t shade at anyone im literally just trying to explain i am never on the dash and when i am i take handfuls of rando#snapshots to send to whoever’s in my scope at that second. which is i know ridiculous but when you’re me and you’re mobile 100% of the time#because the other 75% you’re doing everything for everyone in your life it becomes exceedingly hard to WANT to stare at a laptop screen.#even if im home im 100% mobile most of the time. basically what im saying is: as an rper i will totally drop into your im’s randomly if#something strikes my fancy. if that’s not your bag i totally get it. the plotting call life has never been mine to own. a lot of the time#it’ll be a person likes it and then you reach out and it turns into ‘haha neither of us have an idea’ which then kills the whole thing.#hence why -i- tend to approach especially if you reblog something or wishlist it and it crosses my path. like. im so happy to try almost an#anything someone wants to give a shot so long as you feel like playing ping pong with me about it. I’ve always been an exceedingly social#person because i just… love people. and for a person literally exploding with anxiety… I don’t do anxiety about talking to people. I USED#to long ago until I LITERALLY forced myself to just… not give a fuck. but honestly? do it scared and now it’s just fucking do it. I#apologize in advance if I can be a pain in the ass and if it’s not your dig I comprehend an unfollow. im a very involved and interested#writer and frankly it’s how I keep myself able to enjoy this hobby by not making it too serious. like. sometimes I read someone’s rules and#im like Jesus Christ I would love to remember all of this but my brain only has so much ram. idk when the big invisible book of online#etiquette was written but I must have been sleeping in class for that one.]
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#personal#internets#at this rate I've unfollowed both of the kinda.. 'controvercial' blogs I've been following#since there was a good chunk of actually good takes about how bad media is now and society and braindead internet 'activists' that-#-had it too good in their western countries and NEEDED to invent the reason to bully and excile people#could honestly resonate with it despite some other posts causing genuine pain. but mostly about terribly handled media#like you know that thing when corporations do terrible ass rep to pretend that they care for minorities#or artificially fabricate online backlash against their new actors to show investors that people show interest for their product because-#-of all the clicks on their article?#like discussion of this kind sorta keeps me sober#as a person with BPD I get contaminated by opinions VERY easily and as an autist I will believe everything if it is put together 'logically#that's why I HAVE to be exposed to every possible opinion so I am forced to make out my own rather than being swayed anywhere#but at this point those blog became kinda.. bad? like they don't just have 'opinions' but they hate just to hate#but now my dashboard and recs are full of exclusively things I can fully agree with and I am scared that it will rot my brain#like.. emotions are always the same. where is the 'wait WHAT' effect? where is anger? where is self-reflection?#but ALSO I realized that 'those' blogs are no better than those western 'warriors' I despise and they become narrow-minded too in the end#they advertise themselves as 'open to debate' only to always sway debate into trying to win and not into actually discovering the truth#I cannot trust any side because they're all narrow-minded and hostile but I cannot trust people without any side because-#-they're fence-sitters without morals that side with the winner#is there a secret third thing? like is there a way to not take a side but to still HAVE ideals and opinions?#my problem is that if I am not exposed to people that trash everything I value I forget why AM I valuing [a thing] to BEGIN with#and that won't do will it
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literally exerting sooo much self control and impulse control not to snap back at idiots replying stupid shit on my posts. people are annoying as fuck sometimes. like if you have 'commentary' about how i interact with shit and answer asks, you can literally fuck off. i spend absurd amounts of time trying to be nice and provide specific bears and nice replies to people at their request. and then the one time i get slightly irritated people freak the fuck out and start lecturing me about being 'unprofessional' and 'rude' and 'obnoxious' like im sorry but fuck all the way off. this is fucking tumblr. nothing about tumblr is professional. i don't have to provide y'all with bears. i don't have to make a pinned post to explain myself. newsflash, i already have a pinned post that i'm rather fond of. i don't have to act or respond to things any kind of way. i choose to respond kindly with nice encouraging messages and provide bears, and spend ridiculous amounts of time looking up specific requested bears for people. i choose to do that because i want to make people happy and spread some positivity. i choose to do that because this world is shit as fuck sometimes and i want to create a little space free from drama and negativity where people can enjoy bears and get a little reprieve from this shit ass world and the bullshit of life. i choose to do all that because i want to. but heaven forbid i'm not in the mood 100% of the time to always be perfectly nice and happy and go-lucky. and then i get shits giving me crap over it like i'm somehow obligated to do all this shit for free and always respond exactly the way they desire me to. and it is pissing me the fuck off. because i genuinely put so much effort into bearotonin and trying to make other peoples' lives better in this one tiny small way. i have a life y'all. i have a job and school and an actual adult life with responsibilities. but i choose to do this because i love bears and i think bearotonin is hilarious and making people happy is something that makes me happy. but i don't owe anyone anything, and if you have complaints about the way i comport myself or respond to messages or posts i make, well you can fuck off. i don't want to hear it. you don't need to reblog my posts and tag them with little messages about how you disagree, or write replies/comments saying i should act better or should be expecting this, or send me stupid asks. you can literally keep your negative thoughts to yourself. because people need to fucking realize that your tags are not private. if you put them on a post, the op is going to see them. and in this case, the op is going to be super pissed off by them.
to be clear, 99% of people are awesome and super nice and i love y'all dearly (and this post is absolutely not about you in any way), but the other 1% are really getting on my fucking nerves right now and it is taking a lot of effort to not engage with them directly and tell them to fuck off to their faces
#so yeah i'm vague posting instead#whatever#sorry not sorry for the rant#but this bullshit lately is so insanely annoying#and i'm allowed to be annoyed over it#because i have crap going on in my real life#and i come on tumblr FOR FUN#so it should be fun#not full of pointless dumb drama#i don't care if you're angry or confused about why i say things. just keep it to yourself#i genuinely do not want to see it right now#maybe in like 2 weeks or whatever when i've calmed the fuck down i will engage but right now i'm pissed enough that#unless it's something entirely neutral or positive#i genuinely do not want to hear it#no constructive criticism or helpful suggestion shit#i'm not interested#these are my fucking blogs and if you don't like the way i run them then you can literally unfollow#simple as that#okay i'm done ranting now#sorry to all of y'all who are lovely and kind#you know this post is absolutely not about you at all#not bears#just a rant#bearotonin rants
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My girlfriend follows you and constantly talks about how much they hate you because "you obsessed over the mooninites after her" and "you're a Homestuck fan"
damn
#well good for them im a bill and ted freak now. so.#no more. accidental copying of a hyperfixation???? i guess?? or homestuck#yknow what the homestuck ones understandable you people can be. interesting.#also i feel like if you hate me you should just unfollow me and or block me i feel like thatd be better for your mental health than dealing#with me i dunno though you do you#slash genuine im not trying to be sarcastic or anything i promise 💔💔
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I should be giving out selfship agony aunt advice sometimes I feel a little too unserious and unbothered by it all and am very secure in and quite internally validated by my own selfships. however I am thankful for my biggest fans xxx like you do not have to follow my goofy silly fictional boy chronicles. But you do and hopefully part of this is you enjoy my vibe and personality even without the selfshipping. I'm just here to broadcast my massive crushes on guys and fantasise and virtually scrapbook in my e-shrine. me and my fictional boyfriend who loves me forever and ever cause I dreamt us up perfectly :)
#interested in life long selfshippers vs. people introduced via tumblr comm mindsets?#im defs the 1st one by nature and have selfshipped since I can remember I was imaginingggg baby#wonderful to now know people who engage in the things I do! my experience in the comm has been very positive#but I spent more years making and imaginging things for my own personal gratification than I did in public view#so I wonder if this changes how individuals approach the self ship community#for me it's like being in a reddit hobbyist group idk hahaha like cool we all like doing the same thing yaaay funtimes#and a REALLY niche reddit hobbyist group too.#1 thing about me is i feel zero guilt unfollowing or blocking if I feel 1 iota of something encroaching on me having fun#like promise me you will walk away from the internet and log tf off from time to time 😭#i have always had a strong but quiet idgaf im doing what i want to do and like attitude in life so... maybe that's helping 🫤😬
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where's that tweet about someone's grandma dying or something and them asking for top cas bottom dean recs to cope
#from the bottom of my heart. maybe some of you should go read some bpreg and then you'll calm down.#911#sorry is there anything more boring and uninspired than reveling in the tragedy for tragedy's sake and doomerism 😭#might unfollow people who engage in that and don't tag it sorry. i just couldn't be less interested#and i haven't used tumblr desktop in like 10 years so muting is not an option i can only blacklist
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i will be more annoying abt it in a week when it airs but in light of the series getting an anime adaptation which will make it more mainstream than it is as a light novel, general disclaimer to block the tag #yarinaoshi reijou if you don't wanna see posts abt it from me!!!
idk if thats a main tag on tumblr but its my tag for now. using #che reads yarinaoshi reijou for liveblogging the manga and the ln maybe?? undecided but i have a couple manga chapters left so it's still in use until then :)
#YR is very uhhh 'fun but you cant think deep abt it'#the worldbuilding and magic system is so interesting#i love the main character#i dont care abt the romance element at all#so!!! in light of that ik what public opinion abt this niche media is abt to become#prepping this in advance but also if its too much you can jus unfollow me too!! :)#im not disclaimer-ing what i like but every so often i'll make these when ik smth is gonna be annoying#i tag things out the wazoo for organization mostly and to make blacklisting easier secondly bc i like giving the option#anyway!! this will resurface next week
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#( ooc. )#( tbd. )#( bc i wanna do softblock/unfollowing spree again and i’ve noticed i haven’t interacted with a lot of moots. )#( please don’t take this as an intent of pressuring you to write with me right away. )#( bc lately i posted some calls for eirian and dynamics call and at least five people both liked the post. )#( i also posted an interest tracker and interactions guide on my pinned. )#( and only three people have filled it out. )#( i wanna know if there’s something i can work on. )#( although i owe some things. )#( i know i’ve been slow on IMs too so bear with me guys. )
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Cursed to realize I’m not following people that interact with me a lot </3
#random post#I keep realizing I’m not following people. and then I get embarrassed about it and worry it’ll look weird#if I suddenly follow them 😭 anyways I’m trying not to be a wuss gevehwhwhwhe </3 the follow button won’t make me explode#I think the reason I didn’t follow some people is that I literally like. COULD NOT follow any more blogs#I found that the max number of ppl you can follow is 5000. and I have reached that a couple different times 😭#so when I remember to I go through and unfollow inactive accounts or ones that don’t interest me anymore#so I can follow friends and art accounts <3#anyways I started rambling lol sorry
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If you ever see me becoming one of those transmisandry people, please fucking call me out immediately.
#it shouldn't happen though i am too triggered by MRA-lite material#i can't see that changing any time soon even though i haven't had exposure to the content for like 10 years#the transmisandry discourse on this site melts my brain it's awful it's just online stuff being argued about more online stuff#this is not the same as me saying i will never be treated badly for being transmasc i am not stupid i know that happens#and i am fully committed to fighting the patriachy which has nothing whatsoever to do with my individual manhood or anyone else's#it's a system and yes gender and how we fit into the patriachy is made extremely complicated in trans circles and that's ok!#i promise it is you don't have to design a new system that cis women and trans women are using to do oppression on specifically trans mascs#we're all being fucked over by the patriachy and how the fuck does it help to be divided#but in reality let's face it i can say this all i want but the real reason i'm never going anywhere near being a transmisandry person#is because i was exposing myself to MRA-lite content at a formative age and harming myself in the process#even if i didn't know i was a trans man guess what it would have harmed me just as much if i did have that awareness#and honestly when i see transmisandry discourse all i see is that fucking triggering stuff again#all it does is nitpick whether patriachy is real with tiny examples it doesn't talk systemicly and it doesn't help men in the slightest#it pays lipservice to marginised men but it has no interest in talking about the fact that men are usually simultaenously#oppressed and oppressor at the same time- this is not accusatory it is just factual#it's true of the queer community too and basically every community#but we can't seem to talk about it without just harming each other and blaming and not seeing each other as human#the internet makes it all so much fucking worse this stuff can't exist without it#anyway i'm super rambling but these are genuinely very triggering topics for me i have unfollowed people i LOVE becuase of this#and i still love them! unfollowing on a social media isn't a referendum on that i just can't see that stuff and i need it gone from my dash
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Redrawing my characters specifically so I have something to put on a commission sheet <3 the boy
#my art#ocs#asphalt#easton bakker#luci i love that we’ve become classic tumblr mutual#do we share as many interests anymore? maybe not#but I wouldn’t unfollow you under penalty of. idk something bad#thank you for being so nice with our boys even now 🙏🥹#and I can say this all here because this blog is itty bitty lmao
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thinking about it a bit more and remaking is annoying and tedious . i still have 2 more weeks of exile (also trying to get job applications and such done) but i might actually keep this blog and just unfollow most people. i was gonna remake to avoid this issue but i guess its really the same difference
#im sentimental but like. i dont think the follow4follow mentality is useful for me#ill make another announcement about it later but if i unfollow you it wouldnt be personal and you can still consider me an acquaintance#and also theres plenty of wonderful people with blogs i dont want to follow so#one of my issues with social media that keeps coming up is the fact that i dont feel like my internet presence#is very representative of my 'self' wahtever that is#like im not expressing myself or whatever? idk#anyway this has no solution but it means people whos internet presence im not interested in can be a completely#different person to me in a 1:1 scenario as compared to faceless blog entity
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love when some new gay thing drops and i get to watch it invade my dashboard like a tidal wave in such detail that i dont even have to watch the gay thing to have seen the gay thing
#this one is specfically good omens#i have never seen a minute of that show and yet i feel like i have seen the entire second season#and its been out for a day? i think?#its a good and bad phenomenon#on one hand hooray that y'all like it#but on the other hand if i had any interest in watching it would be squashed immediately#bc now i know how it ends#and if people post too many things im usually inclined to unfollow#theres only so many posts u can see of a thing you dont watch#makes me feel guilty but like eh#this is the only site with control over what u see im taking advantage#good omens#oh shush
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