#so you bET im cranky

[comradecowplant]

A youtuber has made a video about a place very close to my hometown and I tell u what so far he is not being very factual and the latent small town instinct to rip disrespectful outsiders apart in defense of Our Town has activated >:(

[viasdreams]

jeno trying to propose to you !!

wc: 1100

a/n: based this off this clip from tds3 encore !! this is my first written fic and i really hope yall enjoy it! soz for any errors >_< thank you for reading <3

this week's date night with jeno was going really well, scarily so.

this was the first time in your two-year-long relationship that nothing had gone wrong during your scheduled date night.

something was always off, whether it be an abnormally long wait time at the restaurant you spontaneously chose, sitting next to a very cranky baby at the movies, or being stuck in traffic for so long, you miss your romantic couple's massage.

it didn't matter what it was, it was always something.

it happened so often, that it had become a joke between you and jeno. the two of you placing bets on what the incident of the week would be, whoever was closest getting to pick dessert.

that's why this date night felt off.

the restaurant was within walking distance so there was no getting stuck in traffic. jeno had made a reservation, so there was zero wait time. the chef cooked your meal to perfection, even taking the onions off, which they never did. and the waitstaff was wonderful, fulfilling your every request before you could even ask.

it was the perfect night.

and to be honest, it kind of freaked you out.

the bag of leftovers from your favorite restaurant hung from one of jeno's hands, your hand in the other as the two of you walked back to your apartment, opting to take the scenic route through the park.

"hey jen?" you broke the comfortable silence that had fallen between you. however, jeno didn't seem to notice, his eyes trained on something off in the distance.

you squeezed his hand to break him out of whatever trance he was in.

"jeno?" you said, louder this time.

that seemed to do the trick, your boyfriend snapping back to reality.

"ah sorry babe, i was thinking about something," jeno apologized, giving you the eye smile you loved so much.

"oh were you thinking about how weird this night has been?"

jeno stopped walking, abruptly pulling you back slightly due to your hands still being interlocked.

"you think tonight was weird?" there was a genuine look of worry painted across his features.

"well yeah'" you laughed at his question, incorrectly assuming that the two of you were on the same page about the situation.

you very much were not.

jeno's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand what had gone wrong that evening.

"wh- what was weird about it?"

once again missing jeno's obvious confusion, you replied.

"it was perfect! i mean not a single thing went wrong." you held your free hand out for emphasis, "that's weird!"

everything clicked for jeno, a smug expression replacing his previously distraught one.

"you think tonight was perfect?"

you slowly nodded.

now it was your turn to be confused. did something happen that you were unaware of?

he placed the leftovers on the ground and brought his newly freed hand to yours, smiling down at it as he spoke.

"do you want to know why it was perfect?"

"yes?" you questioned, not really sure what was going on.

jeno laughed slightly at your puzzled look, enjoying watching his plan come to fruition.

"well, a month ago when i told you i was hanging out with yuta, i was actually going to that restaurant in preparation for tonight."

"wait but yuta told me about what you guys did? what do you mean you weren't with him?" you found his words hard to believe, recalling your hour-long phone call with yuta in which he recounted their 'bro banzanza' in excruciating detail.

"it's scary how good at lying he is," jeno chuckled.

the humor of the situation was lost on you. what about your boyfriend lying to you was funny?

"why did you lie? and what do you mean preparation for tonight?"

"im sorry for lying, but i needed an excuse to be out for a few hours. i needed to make sure the chef would nail your meal and i had to tell the waiter all about your dining habits."

you pulled your hand out of his grasp and turned away, trying to take in his words. why did he care so much about this one specific date that he would make preparations a month in advance? it wasn't your birthday or anniversary, so why?

you felt a warm hand gently caress your face, turning it back.

"i did all of that so tonight would be perfect for you. we never get to have perfect dates, and i love that, truly, but i wanted tonight to be perfect. we can have imperfect dates for the rest of our lives, as long as tonight wasn't one."

the rest of our lives?

just then the alarms in your brain sounded all at once.

holy shit.

he was proposing.

you watched your boyfriend reach into his pocket as he got down on one knee and prepared yourself for one of the happiest moments of your life.

the moment was taking longer than you expected though. thirty seconds had passed since he knelt down and jeno was now franticly shoving his hands into every single crevis on his body. his smile replaced with a look of pure shock.

"jeno?"

slowly he looked up at you, mouth agape.

"i forgot the ring."

your eyes widened, matching his.

"babe im so sorry, i was so caught up in making everything perfect that i forgot the most important thing. im so sorr-"

his apology was cut short as you burst into a fit of laughter, falling to your knees, level with your (still) boyfriend.

this caused jeno to laugh too, the gravity of his mess-up suddenly becoming hilarious rather than devastating.

"do you want to try again another time or do you want to keep going?" you asked between giggles.

"ill try again i guess," he sighed, "kind of sucks though, i had to tip that waiter and chef a lot of money to get them to do that." he slowly stood, holding out his hand for you. "like a lot of money."

"that's what you get for trying to ruin our messed-up date streak," you said, pulling yourself up and walking a few steps ahead.

once you were a good distance away, you turned back, "if it counts for anything, i would have said yes."

he barely made out what you said, but he still heard.

jeno quickly ran after you, kissing you overtaking every other thought in his head.

"jen the leftovers!" you yelled, pointing to the (apparently) very expensive bag of food now left abandoned.

he turned back and threw his arms up dramatically.

"damn, i can't remember anything!"

m.list ☁︎⋅

[jaeyunverse]

kiss cam

pairing: yang jungwon x fem!reader

genres: fluff, frenemies to lovers, high school au, basketball au

wc: 3770

warnings: profanity, mentions of kidnapping

summary: you were fully prepared to spend valentine’s day alone. yang jungwon was fully prepared to blow your mind.

note: i know i’m off season but i still hope y’all enjoy <3

masterlist

It was Valentine’s Week and you were absolutely, extremely, horribly miserable.

You didn’t particularly care about the celebrations, but the feeling of loneliness first began to creep in when the student council appointed a Valentine’s Day Dance committee and made them decorate the entire school. 

There were banners and streamers hanging everywhere. The culinary club was selling heart-shaped cookies and the broadcasting club was busy urging students to get their dance invites every few hours. You wished the PA system would malfunction and they would finally shut up. 

Some boys even had the genius idea to capitalise Valentine’s Day and ask people out on behalf of the students who paid them for their services. They called themselves Cop-Your-Crush. 

Classes were being interrupted all day long. You were witnessing a grand proposal being made multiple times a day. Just today, you had seen three girls being asked out and each proposal had been better than the one before.

Karina got asked out through a song the choir group sang for her. She quite literally burst into tears because her boyfriend, Soobin, still remembered the song they had first kissed to. 

NingNing got asked out when a member of Cop-Your-Crush sweet-talked Mrs. Kim into letting him take over her presentation. He’d prepared a cute montage using the pictures provided to him by her boyfriend. 

Yeji got asked out by the cheerleaders. They had prepared a special cheer for her, courtesy of Heeseung, also a member of Cop-Your-Crush, and his girlfriend, Chaewon, who was cheer captain. They were both Yeji’s best friends and had spared no expense in helping her boyfriend deliver a memorable proposal. 

You thought the entire concept was corny, but it would have been nice to have someone ask you out too. You didn’t even have any expectations. Just a simple Hey, will you be my date to the Valentine’s Dance? would have sufficed. 

Needless to say, you were irritated and cranky. You were debating begging your mom to let you skip school tomorrow. It was the thirteenth of February, so Valentine’s spirit was definitely going to be at an all-time high. 

You slammed your locker door shut. Slumping against it, you clutched your books to your chest and sighed deeply. If only you had the courage to ask your crush to the dance. It was sort of surprising that he still didn’t have a date. 

He was really attractive and really popular. You wondered why—

“Keep moving, dummy,” a voice popped from behind you, and you couldn’t help the groan that left your mouth. Deciding to not acknowledge the person further, you pushed yourself off the locker and turned to leave in the opposite direction. However, they seemed to have different plans for you. Throwing an arm around your neck, Yang Jungwon twisted you around and said, “Class is this way.” 

“Piss off, Yang,” you snapped, trying to not stumble as he dragged you along. 

“Are you coming to the basketball game tonight?” Jungwon inquired.

He wasn’t much taller than you, so when you glanced up at him, you found your faces only a few inches apart. “Why?” 

“We’re playing Riverside High. You know there’s a bet between our schools, right? Losers have to jump in the lake at midnight.” 

“Okay. Let me know if you lose and I’ll meet you there to enjoy your humiliation.” 

Jungwon narrowed his eyes and flicked your forehead. You let out a sound of protest and slapped his hand away. “You think you’re so funny.”

“I think I have better things to do,” you retorted. “I’m supposed to pick up my sister after her soccer practice and drive her to her friend’s house for a sleepover.” 

“That can be taken care of,” he answered immediately. “Riki will do the chauffeuring in your place.” 

You snorted. “No.” 

“C’mon!” Jungwon complained, moving to stand in front of you. You crossed your hands and raised an eyebrow. “I need you at the game tonight.” 

“Why?” 

“Because—” he hesitated— “because we always win when you’re watching from the stands. You’re our lucky charm.”  

Jungwon was making absolutely no sense. The Bears of Eastwood High were one of the best. They didn’t require lucky charms to win games. Besides, you’d never benefited from the so-called fortune Jungwon claimed you possessed. He definitely had an ulterior motive for wanting you at the court tonight. 

“You won the Christmas game,” you pointed out. “I wasn’t there that day. I was with my family at my childhood home.” 

“Well, I thought you were at the game,” Jungwon corrected. “That’s why we won.” 

You sighed and rolled your eyes. Stepping past his figure blocking your way, you said, “You need to get rid of these superstitions.”  

“Please!” he begged, following after you the way a lost puppy would. “Winning tonight would give us a ticket to regionals! Can’t you let me have this?” 

The desperation in his voice was so evident that you couldn’t help the crack that appeared in your resolve. You weren’t one to believe in luck, but you still carried an Omamori to stay safe. 

You hadn’t exactly been the recipient of any good fortune lately, but your life had been sailing smoothly. Come to think of it, you’d probably subconsciously begun to depend on the charm. 

You were a hypocrite for making fun of Jungwon’s superstitions. 

“Fine,” you relented. “I’ll come. But—” you added immediately upon seeing a wide grin replace the pout on his face— “after I’m done with my chores. I’m not leaving Hyeri with Riki. He crashed his car into a trashcan last week. I was with him. My life flashed in front of my eyes.” 

Jungwon looked slightly amused. “Do you think you might be able to make it before half-time?” 

“Easily.”

“Nice,” he popped. The two of you had arrived at your classroom, so he ruffled your hair and bid you goodbye before making his way towards his friend group. “I owe you one.”

“Yeah, you do,” you muttered to yourself.

You finished dropping your sister earlier than expected. 

Her soccer practice had run short and when you’d checked your watch after seeing her off, you’d realised that the first quarter of the game would be ending in a few minutes. 

You glanced up at the screen displaying the scores as you walked into the gymnasium. 

8-3. Eastwood High in the lead. 

Good luck was a scam. Shaking your head, you searched for your best friend, Eunchae, in the stands. Your eyes stopped on a girl who was aggressively waving her hands in the air. 

You smiled and waved back, making your way to her. 

“I was worried you’d be late,” Eunchae said. 

You hummed. “Hyeri finished her practactice early so I was able to get here quicker. I don’t even know why Jungwon asked me to come. We’re in the lead.”

“Better safe than sorry,” she popped. “Second quarter just started. We should pay attention.” 

You turned to look at the court. While you’d been talking to her, Riverside had scored a 3-pointer. Eastwood was only 2 points ahead now. 

You could hear both schools’ coaches screaming despite the loud noise of the audience. Cringing a little when Mr. Jung blatantly cursed at Jungwon and told him to get his head out of his ass, you decided Eunchae had been right about being better safe than sorry. 

“Timeout!” Riverside High’s coach yelled. “Timeout!” 

The whistle rang and the playing 5 went jogging over to the sidelines. Jungwon’s eye caught yours as he scanned the stands and you waved at him awkwardly. He smiled and waved back, looking rather relieved to see you. 

“You guys are so cute,” Eunchae commented.

You whirled on her. “Excuse me?” 

“I’m just saying!” she exclaimed, raising her hands defensively. “Jungwon and you would make a really good couple.” 

“What makes you think so?” 

“Other than the fact that he’s completely whipped for you?” Eunchae shrugged. “You’re into him as well. No! Don’t give me that look! I know you are. I’m not fucking blind, Y/N. You say he’s annoying but I don’t see you pushing him away. I think you love the attention he gives you.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling awfully exposed. “You’re delusional.” 

“Am I though?” She raised an eyebrow. “You both are together all the time. You can pretend all you want, but I know your petty and childish banter is just a cover for the horrible amount of flirting that’s hidden underneath.”

“I don’t flirt with him!” 

“He flirts with you and you entertain him! You claim to dislike him but hang out with him at school everyday! An idiot could tell by looking at you how much you enjoy being around him.”

You glared at Eunchae. “I don’t appreciate being psychoanalysed.” 

“You just don’t appreciate the truth.” She shrugged. “I don’t know what’s stopping you from asking him out to the dance, but I hope you come to your senses. You don’t wanna regret missing out on someone who cares so much for you.”

Thankfully, the whistle rang before you could formulate a reply. The game began again, and you focused your attention on the court. 

It was Eastwood’s way and the ball was in Jungwon’s hand. He aimed high and his eyes set on Jake who was standing at the far end of the court. However, instead of throwing the ball with all his might, he only flicked his wrist. 

The ball bounced between a Riverside player’s legs, and Heeseung, who was waiting a little behind him, grabbed the ball immediately. Instead of dribbling, the boy passed the ball right back to Jungwon. 

Jungwon caught it without stopping and sprinted to Eastwood’s side of the court. Your jaw dropped when you saw him manoeuvre his way through Riverside’s defence so flawlessly. Even though you’d watched him play multiple times, you’d never really been able to comprehend how good he was. 

He’d covered the court by himself without needing to stop or backtrack. It was as if he knew the opponent’s move even before they decided to make it. 

The crowd went wild the moment Jungwon executed the layup effortlessly. The whistle for half-time blew a few moments after and Eunchae turned to you. 

“That was so good!” she squealed. “He could go pro so easily!”

“He could,” you agreed. “He really is very good.”

You had to admit—watching Jungwon in his element made your heart beat at speeds you didn’t even know it was capable of reaching. You convinced yourself it was the adrenaline and the anticipation from watching the game. Your dad never sat still whenever he watched his favourite team play in the World Cup. 

“It’s time for the Kiss Cam.” Eunchae nudged you with her elbow. You turned to look at the big screen hanging from the roof of the gymnasium. The camera focused on Juyeon and Chaeyeon. The couple grinned and pointed at their recording on the screen in excitement before the latter grabbed the former’s collar and pulled him into a kiss. 

You felt a smile form on your face. You’d always thought the two of them were one of the cutest couples in your school. 

The camera then focused on Mr. Hwang, your biology teacher, and Mrs. Jung, your calculus teacher. You hooted and joined everyone else in the stands as they encouraged the two teachers to kiss. 

Whoever had decided the Kiss Cam victims was a genius. Mr. Hwang and Ms. Jung were the youngest faculty members in your school. It was a popular opinion amongst students that they looked cute together. Some even placed bets on whether it would be Mr. Hwang to make the first move or Ms. Jung. 

Naturally, the two of them didn’t kiss. They just smiled in embarrassment and waved at the camera, asking it to focus on someone else instead. 

You waited eagerly to see who the drone would target next. A jolt passed through your body when you saw yourself on the screen. 

Eyes widening, you shook your head and tried to tell them that you were single. The camera didn’t move despite your protests, instead zooming out to include Eunchae in the frame instead. 

You paused. 

Looked at her.

Considered. 

Raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m down if you—”

“To your left, you idiot!” she exclaimed, grabbing your shoulders and whirling you around. 

Yang Jungwon was standing in front of you with flowers in his hands. His hair was dripping with sweat and his cheeks were flushed. He was panting, but there was a shy smile on his face.

Your heart stopped as he got down on his knees and the entire gymnasium burst into cheers. 

“Hey,” he popped. 

“Hey,” you answered with much effort. Then added stupidly, “You’re on your knees.” 

“No comment about the flowers?” 

“Not when you’re on your knees for me in front of the entire school.” 

“Oooh, I didn’t know you were so kinky.”

“I didn’t know this was why you begged me to come to the game.” 

He laughed and the sound was like music to your ears. You were nervous. You were rambling. There was no way he was going to ask you to the dance. He wouldn’t be stalling so much if he was. He wouldn’t—

Oh. 

He was giving you time to wrap your head around what was happening. This was clearly intended to be a well-planned surprise meant to catch you completely off-guard. He—

“Yeah, I would’ve been really bummed out if you hadn’t shown up. My efforts would have been for nothing.” 

“So I’m not actually your lucky charm?” 

“Of course, you are. I feel the luckiest when I’m with you.” Your chest swelled with an emotion you couldn’t identify. The gymnasium faded into the background and all you could hear was the sound of your heart thudding against your ribcage and Jungwon’s voice as he asked, 

“Will you make me lucky again by accompanying me to the Valentine’s Dance?” 

The game had ended twenty minutes ago. 

Eastwood had won by 10 points. You’d thought the difference was pretty good but your Mr. Woo, your school’s coach, didn’t seem to share your opinion. He’d claimed that Riverside never even should have been able to get within 15 points of Eastwood.

He’d been especially tense in the second half of the third quarter when the opposition had begun scoring back to back baskets. It had all worked out in the end nonetheless, all thanks to Yang Jungwon, the MVP of the match. 

You still couldn’t believe he’d asked you out and you refused to believe he’d done it in such a grand way. 

He was the definition of a jock and goofed around in school all day long. He was charming, sure, but you’d never known he was capable of pulling off something this big. 

You’d never even suspected he was a romantic. 

Your phone dinged and you unlocked it to check who was texting you. 

[eunchae]: wya? 

[y/n]: parking lot!! are u here? i’m leaning against my car

[eunchae]: noo i’m home :( btw are u still waiting for him?? 

[y/n]: yeah he asked me to but the team hasn’t come out of the gym yet

[eunchae]: yikes i heard mr. woo was hella mad we only won by 10 points.. maybe he’s yelling at the players right now

[y/n]: i’m p sure he is LMFAO

Your fingers hovered over your phone’s screen as you waited for Eunchae to type her reply. However, before she could send it, you felt the device being grabbed from your hand. 

“What the—” you started, but relaxed when you saw Jungwon standing in front of you with an amused expression on his face. “Yang.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Someone could have easily kidnapped you, you know?” 

“We live in the most boring part of the town.” You snorted. “Baek Seung threatening to chop his neighbour’s tree on local TV was the most interesting thing that happened this year.”

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on your guard,” Jungwon said and moved next to you, leaning against the side of your car as well. He was wearing black sweats and a red hoodie. He smelt of cheap soap and his hair was damp, making you realise that he had probably showered. “Besides, Baek Sung actually followed through. We have a real criminal in our ranks.” 

“Didn’t you literally let five sheep loose in our middle school three years ago?” 

“That was just a harmless middle school graduating prank.”

“There’s no such thing as a middle school graduating prank.”

“Tell that to the current 8th graders who are planning their prank. I hear they’re going to stuff the hallway outside the principal’s office with helium balloons so she won’t be able to leave.”  

You stared at him, a small smile playing on your lips. Jungwon’s eyes dropped to your mouth for a millisecond before he looked into your eyes again. 

“Why did you ask me to the dance?” you asked and turned on your side to face him. It was a stupid question but you were genuinely curious. 

Eunchae was right before. Jungwon flirted with you all the time and you always entertained him. You enjoyed the attention he gave you. But if this thing between you was just platonic, and if it was never going to progress into something real, you needed to know now. 

You didn’t want to hope and wait for something that was never going to happen. 

“Sunoo said I was an idiot for not shooting my shot with you,” he replied and turned on his side too. “He threatened to make a move on you if I didn’t get my shit together before Valentine’s Day.” 

You snorted. 

“Oh, also,” Jungwon added. “I really, really like you.” 

You felt a tidal wave of emotions override your senses. Euphoria, nervousness, breathlessness, giddiness, uncertainty and this inexplicable urge to squeal washed over you. 

Your heart went haywire inside your chest when Jungwon leaned closer to you and dipped his head so that his face was right in front of yours. 

“You’re blushing,” he whispered. 

You squeaked and buried your face in your hands. He grabbed your wrists and gently moved them out of the way. “Can I kiss you?” 

“I think that would be a health hazard,” you croaked, looking at anywhere but him. “My heart is beating concerningly fast right now. What if I drop dead?” 

“I can do CPR.” 

The corner of your mouth quirked up in a small smile. Your heart beat slowed down and you began feeling at ease. You wondered if Jungwon could tell that this was the first time someone had confessed to you. 

The entire concept of dating and being in a relationship was foreign to you. You doubted Jungwon had much experience in the field himself since he’d only had one girlfriend in kindergarten, but he seemed confident. 

You trusted him to take over the wheel and guide you through the strange waters of love. 

“Okay,” you breathed and closed your eyes. “Kiss me.” 

His hands cupped your cheeks, his soft lips brushing against yours. You sucked in a breath and just stood there, not really knowing what to do. 

Your hands itched to grab onto something, so you shifted closer to Jungwon and clutched the front of his hoodie in your fists. 

He smiled against your mouth as you rose on your toes and tilted your head to the side. 

But then you realised something and hastily broke the kiss. Jungwon stared at you in confusion, but before he could ask what was wrong, you blurted, “I like you too.” 

There was a pause. He didn’t say anything for a long moment, so you clarified, “I thought I should make that clear. I mean, you confessed but I didn’t confess back even though I feel the same way and what if you thought I wasn’t into you. I am into you, by the way. I’ve been crushing on you since forever but I never knew how to say it—” 

Jungwon swooped in for a second kiss and you melted in his arms. You could get used to the feeling of his lips on yours. They fit together perfectly.  

“You are so cute.” He giggled after detaching his mouth from yours. Resting his forehead against yours, he continued, “Eunchae told me last week. She urged me to confess because she knew your stubbornness would never allow you to make the move.” 

“What?” you exclaimed, jerking away from him. “Where’s my phone? Give me my damn phone, Yang!” 

He grabbed arms before you could lunge at him and search him for your device. “Relax!”

“I’m going to kill her!” 

“Why?!” 

“Because—” you sputtered, struggling to get out of his grip— “because it’s embarrassing! I was pretending to not like you but you knew I was crushing on you the entire time!” 

“It’s not embarrassing!” Jungwon said. “It’s normal—Y/N stop!” 

You let your body fall limp in his arms. “I’m going home. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“You’re seriously not going to let Eunchae’s nosiness stop us from having our first date, are you?”  

“What?” you asked and moved out of his grip.

He shrugged and shoved his hands into pockets. “It’s nothing special. I was going to ask if you wanted to go out for some food.” 

“Oh,” you replied blankly. “Don’t you have a celebratory dinner with your team though?” 

“I can ditch them.”  

“You shouldn’t.” 

“Let me correct myself: I already ditched them. I want to spend tonight and celebrate with you.” 

Your heart swelled with happiness. “Really?” When was the last time someone outside of your parents prioritised you? You genuinely couldn’t remember. 

“Of course. Do you wanna get some McDonald’s?”

You nodded, but before he could make his way to the passenger’s seat of your car, you said, “Just so you know, I feel the luckiest when I’m with you too.” 

Yang Jungwon kissed you for the third time, and by no means was it the last, or even close to the last one you shared that day.  

[seethesin]

peace and quiet

pairing: Villanelle x Assassin!F!Reader

tags/warnings: sexual content, car sex, dirty talk, fingering, edging (18+, mdni)

a/n: bet ya didn't see this coming 😏 truthfully, i've had this scenario on my mind for about a month now. i had to write this before i got through the rest of my drafts. im also a bottom!villanelle fan oops enjoy! gif credit.

The last way you wanted to spend your Friday evening was stuck in a Ford Fiesta with the world's most infuriating assassin, Villanelle. But here you both were, cramped and cranky as you wasted hours watching a man go through his nightly routine. Truthfully, you didn't know much about your target except his name, James Fitzgerald. His dossier was light and you suspected that further information wasn't yours to know.

As your handler would say: the less you knew, the better.

Silently, you watched as James moved from room to room in his home; starting in his bedroom, wandering into the kitchen, and finally, settling into the living room. Couldn't the Twelve have a vendetta against someone more interesting?

The blonde next to you must have thought the same thing. Immediately, she turned the radio on, flicking through the stations until she hummed in approval.

"Oh, I love Britney," she muses, beginning to sing along to the chorus of Womanizer as it pumps through the car's surround sound system.

You refrain from groaning.

"Villanelle, I need you to stop." Your voice is strained as your eyes are trained in front of you.

She's completely off-key but sings without a care in the world. Obviously, she's ignoring you and you exhale slowly, squeezing your eyes shut. Villanelle was good at what she did. Great even. But her hyperactive nature and flair for dramatics made you dread any time the two of you had to work together.

It wasn't just her obnoxious nature that made it so difficult for you to work with her. From the outlandish yet stylish outfits she donned to the way she held herself on and off the job, you thought she was stunning. But now, being in such close quarters only seemed to intensify those feelings. Your stomach did somersaults at each pesky thought, unable to get them out of your head quick enough. Entertaining those ideas was a distraction you couldn't afford.

Not in this line of work.

It's just one mission, you find yourself thinking, blinking your eyes open. I just need to get through one mission with her and then—

And then you will work with her again when the Twelve will it. You will still have these terribly ridiculous feelings that you will, once again, have to dissect like you are now. You grit your teeth and instead focus your boring gaze on James Fitzgerald's wrinkled forehead.

Wordlessly, you turn the radio knob towards you, muting the music so you can focus. Villanelle's contralto voice cuts through the silence like a blade and it takes her a few moments to realize what you've done.

"Hey! I was having fun!"

You roll your eyes, tapping your fingertips against the steering wheel.

"I wasn't."

Villanelle scoffs, feigning offense before leaning back. Aggressively, she adjusts her seat, allowing it to fully recline. She lays down, eyes glued to the car ceiling before crossing her arms over her chest petulantly.

You were ready to further accentuate her childishness as she muttered about how you were a 'party pooper,' but paused. James was getting up and walking towards his front door. He was letting someone inside, holy shit! This needed to be documented.

In the dark, you felt for your phone that was supposed to be on the console. Miscalculating, you reached over farther than necessary and instead grabbed—

Villanelle gasped, body arching forward.

Oh.

Your fingers gripped the flesh of her inner thigh, dangerously close to the hem of her shift dress. Blush immediately crawls over your cheeks and you become a stammering mess.

"Oh my god," you ramble, going to remove your hand. "I'm so sorry, Villanelle. I thought that—"

You don't get to finish your sentence. Her hand is over yours and she shoves your palm in between her legs. The wet cotton of her underwear greets your fingers and the heat it emits makes you flatline.

This wasn't real. None of this could be real.

"I know how you look at me."

The statement throws you off kilter and you gape like a fish. Were you that obvious? The idea makes you nauseous; how the hell did Villanelle know your feelings better than you could even comprehend them?

"Stop thinking," she husks and her confidence seems to spread to you like wildfire.

James Fitzgerald and his unannounced guest are long forgotten as you shift in your seat, turning to face Villanelle. Your finger pads inquisitively drag up the length of her clothed slit. Her breathing grows heavier the closer you stroke towards her clit. You can make out her teeth digging into her lower lip and the mischievous glint in her eyes as she stares back at you.

She’s begging you to keep her entertained.

Cautiously, you pull your hand away. The loss of contact squeezes a whimper from her throat, but it dies as she watches you slip two fingers between your lips. You suck slowly, refusing to break eye contact with her before releasing them with a soft pop. You don’t miss the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips.

“Are you going to behave?” Villanelle nods like a bobblehead, practically rutting her body closer to where your hand used to be.

You chuckle. “Good girl.”

Wet fingers glide up her bare leg, meeting at the junction just below her thigh and cunt. Gently, your fingers worm underneath the waistband of her underwear. Painfully slow, you tug them down so that they pool at her knees. They are soaked and the sound of the blonde’s panting is amplified in the enclosed quiet of the car.

"Oh baby," you taunt, watching as she presses her thighs together. You want to swallow her whole.

"Is this all for me?"

"Yes," she sighs out instantaneously, parting her legs as your hand connects back to her cunt.

Your middle finger delicately slides through Villanelle's folds, exploring her velvety flesh. Tracing circles around her labia, you finally brush just underneath her clit. She jerks forward, desperately chasing your touch.

"Villanelle." Her name is a warning on your tongue, tutting gently as you watch her squirm. Your middle finger is fixed in the same position and her fingers curl around your wrist.

"Be nice," she pleads and no matter what your plan was initially, you couldn't deny her further. You nod and gently, your middle finger sinks inside her.

Villanelle tenses momentarily, adjusting to the intrusion before relaxing. She squeezes your wrist, silently goading you to move. You comply, thrusting deeper inside of her.

Your finger moves leisurely at first, more so to savor the first-time feeling of her silky flesh enveloping you. Gradually, you pick up the pace. Her slick drools down the length of your finger and the obscene squelching makes you blush.

Thank god for the dark.

A stream of moans bubbles from Villanelle's throat as her fingernails dig into your wrist. Her other hand moves to her lips, her teeth sinking into the knuckle of her index finger to muffle herself. In response, your finger curls inside of her. She keens, her eyes rolling back as she shoves her hips forward.

"Don't do that," you chide, pumping against the spongy walls of her cunt. "I want everyone to hear how good I'm gonna fuck you."

Her gaze peeks through her lashes, blinking in surprise at the vulgarity of your statement. She's beautifully flushed and the image is seared into your mind. Your ring finger presses inside of her and she gasps, finally removing her hand from her mouth.

"Don't be mean," Villanelle mewls and you can't stop the smile tugging at your lips.

By now, the windows have fogged over in the car. The air between you has risen at least ten degrees higher and you match Villanelle's ragged panting, hyperfocused on every expression she makes. Her hair fans out like a golden halo, illuminating her furrowed brows and parted lips. You want to kiss her, but you instead settle for swiping your thumb across her clit.

Villanelle's chest heaves when you suddenly piston your fingers inside her. She sloppily pushes down to meet your thrusts while her head lolls back against the car seat. By the way her walls fluttered against your sheathed digits, you knew her orgasm was imminent.

James Fitzgerald's departure was also imminent.

Suddenly, the flash of headlights appears in your peripheral vision. A midsized sedan rushes past the front of your rental car. James is driving while his guest in question is in the passenger seat. Your eyes go wide; the memory of exactly why you and Villanelle were here to begin with hits you like a truck.

You withdraw your fingers from Villanelle's pussy and she cries out in both confusion and frustration. Scrambling, she pulls the seat back up so she can properly glower at you.

"What the fuck?" She yells, softening only slightly as she watches you suck your fingers clean before putting the car in drive.

"It's James," you start, pressing the defogger button near the bottom of the dashboard. "I'm gonna tail him."

"I was about to cum!"

You glance at Villanelle quickly as she complains, tossing a cocky smirk in her direction.

"I guess you'll just have to wait then."

[staticvn]

the foxes : random headcanons (because i need to let it all out somewhere)

• Renee & Matt are both huge fans of atla and the pjo series. Dan likes it as well but not as much as they do. They also tried to convince Allison to watch it with them and despite saying it’s “not her thing” she really likes it.

• Renee keeps her own garden. Mostly plants and flowers though. She tries for some veggies as well but they never grow right

• At some point, Andrew would stop smoking completely. The withdrawals are crazy and he’s cranky as hell through the whole thing but yeah.

• Renee would definitely love visiting churches and cathedrals in different countries. Not only cuz she’s religious but also because she loves the architecture and art a lot.

• also also Renee would keep the coolest looking patterned stuff. Fox shaped & cat paw carved ceramic mugs, knitted sweaters with a lot of patchworks and so on.

• Renee taught Neil ASL. For no particular reason just that it’s a good thing to know. After that she also tried teaching some of the other foxes but mostly just the basics.

• Kind of surprise to everyone, Aaron would be really good at chess. Neil and Matt on the other hand… very much not. He sometimes has chess matches with Kevin but Kev always loses which genuinely drives him mad.

• Aaron knows latin- not just the medical terms that med students have to know but like the language. So you bet that whenever someone gets him angry he starts to yap at them in latin just to make a point of some sort.

• Andrew would like those old/retro gameboys

• Andrew always beats everyone in mario kart with Nicky often being either close second or complete last - no in between.

• Nicky is the #1 pancake maker. He was kind of awful at it at first but after many many tries he perfected it for the twins

• Kev is also the #1 cook in healthy but completely flavourless prison-looking meals (though it is not his fault. i blame the nest.)

• if the foxes would ever have escape room night best believe Neil would be the first to figure it out and in record time as well.

• Kevin is a mosquito magnet and won’t stop complaining about it…like ever. (had to google synonym for bitching btw)

• to fight off the “eboy Andrew” allegations im fighting back with “absolute loser Andrew” where he wears too big sweaters, reading glasses, has crooked teeth, and searches through different cryptid or internet mysteries- related sites for too long (…projecting but still)

• Neil hates coffee. his favorite tea is peppermint or earl grey.

• the monsters watch cartoons in the morning if they don’t have classes i said what i said

• Neil definitely got into photography (or sketching or both) at some point. there is just something so symbolic about that i just can’t wire up my brain rn to figure out why.

• Kevin listens to podcasts instead of music while working out because he is simply that type. sigh

ok im done

[1-800-suck-my-clit]

Stages of Buckys drunkness

Stage 1

John's has a drink in him, but nothing changes. He's still his normal big tooth shit eating grin.

Stage 2

This stage gets a little more energetic. He dances on the table and sings horribly to songs where vocals were not, in fact, needed. He makes bets that he should not have won but always managed to win.

When curt gets involved, things get taken up to another level. John by himself is hard to control, but you bring his little spoon anywhere near him, and those two are causing double the chaos. Which brings us to stage 3

Stage 3

Between buckys ego and stubbornness and curts, "im Irish I don't back down" attitude they get into fights alot. Every little thing sets them off. But most of the fights don't even up more than talking shit back and forth bc Gale quiets them down before they hurt someone else or themselves. But sometimes Gale likes to play to, similarly to when they met the RAFs.

Stage 4

In this stage, John's a lot more touchy. He can not stop touching Gale for the life of him. He's uncomfortably turned on at this point. He wants Gale now. Anyway he can get him. He whispers dirty things in his ears, often getting a rise out of his lover like: "I want your dick in my mouth so bad Gale. Or my dick up your ass. Please, Buck. I need you so bad, however you want it ill be so good to you." This more than once leads them to go to the alley at the back where they eat eachothers faces off and Bucky ends up on his knees looking up at a fucked out panting Gale.

The last and final stage

Stage 5

This is the stage where Gale knows its time to wrap it up and go back home. John gets unbelievably clingy, cranky, and whiney. But not in the "I wanna fuck you" way buy the way when u wake up a child. His hand is always tugged on Buck as he moves around the pub or party. He's completely silent and complacent. When they get back to bed, he often drapes himself on top of Buck and drifts off to blissful peace as Gale plays in his hair and mumbles words of praise that go to his stomach and settles in his heart

[theespeakerboxxx]

im watchin lily's pateron rant video and oh my god

why is she bragging about verbally assaulting a woman who was snarky to her first day!? if lily knew how jobs worked she'd know that every job has that one coworker thats a little crabby. it's even worse when you realize lily was making fun of said coworker for fighting a custody battle to see her kids as a single mother. of course she'd be a little cranky, she has something genuinely going on in her life that's affecting her! i can bet you rn her coworker probably made one off-hand remark on a bad day, then lily took it to heart because she has no idea how human interactions work.

the whole video is just making me cringe out of my skin. she thinks shes so badass for yelling at a SINGLE MOTHER to "shut the fuck up and finish baking", and even threatening to drown someone for pissing her off at work

obviously she probably didn't say any of this / being hyperbolic, but it's, again, cringe. it reads off like some edgelord lying to people to garner cool points.

lily, all you gotta do at work is show up and do your job. as much as you don't want it to be true, your employees don't give a fuuuck about your rude ass and just wanna collect a check, same with customers...no wonder why you couldn't hold down a stable job, you crazy asf!

i suggest you give it a watch, she speaks about women like a trad husband lmao

[sillyyprinc3ss]

Million Dollar Man

leon kennedyid! (or or di) x femreader!

tag: sugar daddy! -but he doesn't pays cause he sucks- call sex! praising! also I would say feeling used...?and I think that would be it...

wc: 4.2k

note: uhm this is my first ever try so like if it's bad don't go after me... also he is kinda a douche bag and the situation is something that actually happened to me... -not all but i got inspiration from my life events cause it is that interesting, it sucks -

03:14

“Great…” You mutter to yourself as you see the blinding red lights of your alarm clock. It shines as if it was making fun out of you. You should really pull your shit together.

You look at it slowly calculating (you weren't quite a genius) how much time you had left to go on that stupid job interview. “You should really get a job, it's not that hard.” Everybody says, but they don't really get it. Yes, you want to get a job, and everytime anyone asks you about it it just makes you want to crawl your skin off. But of course you just flash a soft smile and say: “I've been working on it.” Bullshit. But who cares? You don't and no one should either.

You breathe softly trying to fall asleep. Inhale…Exhale…Inhale… “This doesn't work.” You try some more. Inhale…Exhale… You give up and roll around the bed to go and get your phone.

03:27.You see as you turn it on, once again the numbers just look like they are mocking you, who wouldn't? You browse around your phone. Instagram, as soon as you click on it you are getting out. Twitter, aww cute cat pic, “Same bestie same” you comment under a post of a girl you don't really know but you are moots with her or whatever. Tumblr, the writer you like hasn't posted anything, you log out.

You sigh softly, as your rotting brain thinks of something entertaining to do. Right then you remember you and your supposedly best friend (she probably hates you, everyone does) logged into some sketchy local “Findmeasugardaddy.com” type of web.

You try to log in. Error, the password inserted does not match up with the email address provided.“What was the damn password…” You say talking to yourself as if it was going to help you in something. You try again, entering successfully this time. You try to figure out how to see your profile, you surprisingly do it in no time.

“sillyprinc3ss18” Wow. You think to yourself, you look at the profile picture, your friend convinced you to upload one of your selfies. “Girl, you should put one of your pics. Bet that would attract more old men.” To be fair, you were quite a cutie, not much tits but a desirable ass.

Sadly you fucked up any chance with any guy, when you opened your mouth. You were weird, creepy even, (no offense) as pretty as you were you couldn't really bag any guy. So you reluctantly accepted after she insisted on it for a little.

You decide that that's enough of examining your profile as you read your bio: “8teen girl who isn't scared of being a little naughty…” Gosh I suck, you think to yourself. “Gosh I suck.” You say out loud this time, trying to express your feelings I guess.

You click on another page, “Hm… IM’s.” You say clicking on it, slightly nervous cause you really didn't know what to expect. Well unfortunately or by surprise… 0.

“0…? I thought desperate older men were here.” You say quite hurt by it. Not even a desperate old cranky man wants you? That's pathetic, but guess what's pathetic too? Exactly, you! You are pathetic really.

As you start to have an inner monologue as if you'll ever die a virgin or you should become a nun and embrace your fate, a red dot comes up in the IM section. You look at it for at least 5 seconds, blink a few times, just making sure this wasn't an hallucination from lack of sleep. Ok, so there's probably a mildly ugly old man who wants to chat with you. You balance your options and sort them out. Option 1, you open the IM and answer the guy who could be your father. Option 2, you ignore the IM, turn off your phone and be a responsible adult and sleep to not be a zombie on your job interview. Option 3, jerk off at the thought of an older man wanting to chat with you. (Hey I don't blame you! You have a terrible dad.)

You consider your options. “Hey maybe he's cute” you think to yourself, to be honest you always had a thing for men who could barely pull a hard on. You click on the red dot. “L3onK77 wants to text you. Accept the request?”

“Yes” “No”

You stare at the two options, slightly grateful at the double questioning the page is putting you through. You take a big breath and click on “Yes”

“- Hi there sweetheart. How are you?”

Wow, “sweetheart”... You would confront him on the pet name but you know better and to be fair an old guy calling you sweetheart makes you a little a horny… More than you would like to admit.

“- uhm… hi. i'm fine a little bored tbh.”

Not more than 10 seconds pass before a text pops up on your phone screen.

“- What a pity. Maybe I could entertain you a little, what do you say angel?”

“Angel” Wow. Just wow, you dirty little whore, your panties are getting wet just by the thought of it. You stare at the message for some time, enough time to make the older man type another text.

“- Guess that was pretty straightforward, sorry if I came out that strong. Let me just take it to the point and give you a preposition.”

Some seconds pass and he sends another message.

“- Since you are on this website I'll make it straight and easy. Would you be interested in becoming a sugar baby? Mine to be exact.”

Wow, thought maybe he was going to ask for nudes but he wants to pay you for just being pretty.

“- i don't know really… why would you want to do that in the first place?”

“- Cause I think you are damn cute. And would love to have a pretty little thing under my care.”

You are blushing. Oh my god, he is smooth. Should be named L3onK007, cause he is smooth as a spy.

“- i don't know :s what would I have to do in order to become your sugar baby…”

Tried to not seem so eager, but you were 2 seconds from becoming a gymnastics gold medal athlete from how many backflips you were about to do.

“- Glad you ask. Well it's really easy, you just have to give me your attention and loyalty. Can you do that for me angel?”

“- sure, seems like a good deal.”

You answer almost instantly, gosh you were such a whore for male attention, for any attention really.

“- Good girl. I'm Leon, but you shall call me Daddy. How would you like me to call you?"

“Leon…” You say out loud as soon as you see it on your screen. That's a nice name. “Is it moanable?” You ask yourself, will have to check later if an opportunity takes place.

“- uhm my name is [ ]… but you can just call me princess ig.”

“- Nice to meet you [ ]. And how old are you if you let me ask?”

“- just turned 18 like a month ago… what about you?”

You kind of panic when he doesn't answer right away. “Gosh I should have lied about my age… He probably thinks I'm a brat and a- Oh! He answered back!”

“- 18? Well you are just a baby aren't ya’ ? Happy late birthday then sweetheart. And answering your question, I just turned 47 some days ago. On the 31 to be more exact.”

Forty-fucking-seven. Forty seven years. Four. Seven. Holy shit, if you are lucky he’ll still have some hair on his scalp.

“- oh… happy late birthday too ig! could i ask you something tho?”

“- Sure thing sweetheart, ask till your little heart's content.”

“- could i see what you look like? im really curious…”

You type nervously, could never give love to an ugly man. You could be dumb, but not stupid.

“ - Well I guess you haven't seen my profile, cause I have my photo on there.”

Shit, now he thinks you are stupid too. You quickly go to his profile, close your eyes as you wait for his profile to load up. You stay some seconds with your eyes closed, you give up and tentatively open one of them. And holy heavens! The guy is a total babe, could be an American sweetheart and everything. You look at the profile pic, a photo of him with a fish he just catched. Total dad vibe. Gosh you hit the jackpot! Rich, hot, dilf. (Could be a Lana Del Rey song really) You look at it for about a minute more, his message pops up. Okay girl, you got to lock in.

“ - you are very good looking :3”

“ - Well thank you. But you are quite a sight for sore eyes darling ;).”

Holy shit! You have it in the bag girl. Now all you have to do is sit still and be pretty. “Don't fuck it up!” You think, and oh boy, if you fumble this up you could never forgive yourself, might as well kill yourself!

“- and… how are we going to this…? i mean this website is kind of shitty :/”

“- Yeah you are right princess. Here.”

“- (XXX)XXX-XXX.

“- That's my number, add me and we will talk about it.

Yeah if you fumble this you are definitely going to kill yourself. You quickly open your messages app and insert the number he just gave you with trembling thumbs. You triple check the number just in case. You add the contact as “Leon Sugar”.

“ - hii ^w^ it's me [ ]”

After no more than two seconds he answers. He is maybe eager for this too.

“- Hi baby. Wanna call?”

Right then your world just froze. Holy fucking shit. This guy is really being serious, and you can't do anything to prevent an unhealthy attachment that is taking place right fucking now.

“- uhh, hold on…"

“- Okay baby, just tell me when.”

Not just a minute passes when you text back.

“- okay im ready!”

Just as you hit send he calls you, you panic, a stab to the heart could have got a lower squeal out of you. You pick up after a few tones.

“Hi…?”

He immediately speaks, holy fuck his voice! Cult leader type of voice, deep and smooth like the purest silk from god knows where…You remain silent for some seconds.

“You there?”

“Sweetheart?”

You almost moan to the sound of his voice. Gosh, pull it together.

“Sorry… I just panicked for a while.” You say in a soft voice. You thank the heavens above that he can't see your face right now.

“Well aren't ya’ a sweet little thing?” He lets out a deep and rich chuckle, striking directly to your heart, and from your heart to your cunt. “Do I make ya’ nervous…? Is that why?” He says in a teasing voice.

“A little…” You admit with a slight crack on your voice.

“And why is that?” He asks right back, his voice somehow lowering at least an octave.

“I-I don't know… Cause I've never done anything like this at all…” You answer, thinking before you speak for once in your life, impressive.

“How can a pretty girl like ya’ never be pampered huh…? Next thing ya’ goin’ to say is that you never kissed anyone.” He speaks in the same tone as earlier. It was making you melt, transforming your brain into a mushy pink paste with glitter (cause let's face it, you certainly do not have many brain cells.)

“Uhm…” Damn he got you, bet he thinks you are a weirdo.

“...” A long silence stumbles upon the call. “You kiddin’?” He says after a few seconds.

“No… Daddy.” You say making a big pause before you call him like he asked to be called some minutes earlier, “Gosh it feels so weird…” You think to yourself.

“Well isn't that lovely? He says with a lighthearted chuckle. “So that makes ya’ a virgin too huh…?” He teases you again.

“...” Your silence says it all.

“Well sweetheart, let me tell ya’ that you shouldn't be embarrassed of it.” He says as he could sense your emotions through the call.

“But it's still embarrassing… You probably think that I'm a weirdo. No guy ever calls me back after a first date, they think I'm weird.” You say with a deep sadness in your voice.

“Well maybe ya’ are so weird cause ya’ just the peak of beauty, darling. Let me tell ya’, I wouldn't even care if you shot me I'll still be interested in ya’,.” Gosh he sounds like a Dad. Bet you aren't the only one calling him daddy.

You stay silent for a moment, his words sinking into the back of your brain. Maybe he was right.

“Hey, I have an idea.” He says as you think about what he had just said. “What about if we do a video call…? Maybe we can both loosen up.” He asks, his voice turning into a teasing flirty tone, leaving back the lighthearted voice he just spoke with.

Yeah no shit. This is really doing a 180° on your life. Your mind tries to run with all the possibilities you can think of, like one and a half to be exact.

“Uhm… Okay. Just wait a minute…” You say with a little bit of panic in your voice. “Gotta tidy my room a little…”

“Sure honey. Just tell me when ‘kay…?” He says with a voice that could make even a dentist have cavities.

You quickly incorporate yourself and look at the clock on your nightstand. “4:02” You say just loud enough for you to hear it. You run to the bathroom and inspect yourself in the mirror. “I can't put on makeup… Who could believe I look like that at 4 A.M…”. You slip your panties down and sit on the toilet, you look at the cute pair of panties as you take a quick piss. “I should wear a push-up bra… He won't notice…”. You quickly pace to your bed once again.

“Leo-” You stop yourself ashamed. “I mean… Daddy.” You say as you try to get him to give you his attention.

“Ya’ done baby…?” He says in a silky voice, somehow making him sound even hotter.

“Uhm… Yeah…” You say quickly putting on a push-up bra and a clean skimpy tank top. The ruffling of the clothes being heard by him.

“Ya’ undressin’ for me or somethin’ baby…?” He teases with a chuckle as low as a thunder.

“Uh- N-no…” You answer immediately with a soft yelp. “I was just changing into something more comfortable…"

Right then your phone begins to ring again. “Leon Sugar wants to video call you. Accept?” You see on your phone along with a bright green button. You bite your lip nervously and finally push the button for the video call to pull through. You quickly turn off your camera as you wait for it to connect.

After some seconds you see him. A little bit rougher than the photo but still good enough to eat. He moves his phone sideways so you could see him better. Wearing a dark blue rob that did nothing to cover his chest really, he had more tits than you, ouch. “Sweetheart?” He says placing his phone somewhere so it could stand on his own. “I can't see ya’ baby…” He says furrowing his brows as he looks closer to the screen of his phone.

You look around making sure there's nothing embarrassing to be ashamed of, no panties or plushies on the camera frame, alright.

“Uhm… Just a second my wifi is kind of bad…” You say as you look last time in a mirror that was in your room. You hesitantly look at the camera button, you click it and a small loading bubble appears, the camera is now on.

A soft whistle can be heard from the other side of the line. “Wow…” He says in a soft voice, a smirk plastered on his chiseled face. “Now I'm really curious about ya’…” He says looking unashamedly at the small part of cleavage you were kindly showing just for him. “Ya’ said ya’ changed for me… huh?” He's starting to sound like a frat boy now…

While he was talking you were more focused on how you looked on the camera. “Uhm.. Yeah.” You say shyly batting unconsciously your lashes. “My pajamas weren't a great option, y’know…?” You realize how your voice becomes more high-pitched, candied almost. You realize you are smiling foolishly in the camera, you stop and lock in. “So about the money-”

“Oh yeah the money…” He looks like he just discovered the cure for cancer. “How much would ya’ want your allowance to be…?” Is he really saying this? Might as well bankrupt him just by being pretty.

“Oh…” You say with your pretty lips forming a perfect circle. “Well I don't know really…” You say with a surprised look plastered on your face. “How much would you be willing to give me…?”

“How much do ya’ want? Name it, and I'll give you… until my last penny angel.” He says with a smug grin on his face.

“Uhm… Is 500 a lot…?” You ask, biting your lip nervously. “I really don't know… I'm sure I'm asking too much for just company and loyalty-”

“Ya’ got it, 500 weekly.” He says with a cheeky smile, almost endearing if it wasn't because you just met the guy and he's literally paying for your company.

“...500…1000…1500…” You count in your airy head. “Uhm isn't that quite a lot for a month…? That's more than the average check…”

“Well princesses need a lot of money to survive don't they…? To buy frilly dresses and pretty panties-”

“That's still too much money… Daddy…” Calling that it's still so unnatural, like giving a monkey mom a kitten to care for. “I meant like per month or so…” You say to him while looking elsewhere than the phone camera.

“Don't be silly, princess…” He says giving a soft sigh to the world. “Like I said- I want to take care of ya’, provide for ya’… To pamper ya” really. Treat ya’ like the princess ya’ are!” Whilst he was saying a monologue typical of a 40’s husband when his wife wanted to have a job, you were way too busy looking at his tits-

Oh my god… He may have double D’s. “Baby…?” He says snapping you out of your titty world.

“Uh… Yeah…?” You say blinking the nasty thoughts away, you doe eyes looking even more dolly than before. “Sorry I got distracted- So it will be 2 grand a month…?” You say trying to change the topic.

“That's right. Gonna spoil ya’ rotten darlin’.” He answers with a triumphant smile.

“But that's like, a ton of money… Like a TON.” You say with a soft frown looking at the total babe, *uhum*, handsome man that was on your screen.

“Daddy works for giving his little girl what she needs baby, to pamper her and spoil her, I've already said that honey.” He says growing rather irritated by your constant questioning.

“Yes I know it's just- I can't really conceive the idea of being paid just cause I'm pretty… It's like cheating! I feel like an imposter…” Doe eyes batting through the camera making his heart stop, then the tension went to his brain and then to his cock. Oopsies!

“Princess…” He says in a soft voice, almost like he was telling her daughter there wasn't any monster under her bed. “I know this is new…” Suddenly he stops talking, presumably thinking about something, soon after he speaks again. “Well maybe ya’ can do somethin’ for me…”

Your lost gaze that wandered around your room like you've never seen it before comes back to the screen quickly. “Yeah…?” You ask rather skeptical of what he was about to propose.

“When was the last time ya’ touched your princess bits, sweetheart…?” He says without mincing words. “Uhm…” You freeze, ok didn't think he would ask that wow… You wait a little before answering his bold question. “I-I don't really remember it…” You are such a liar! You were literally humping your pillow before deciding it was time to go to sleep. You quickly look at the right corner of your phone, 4:29. “You know it's kind of late and tomorrow I have a job interview…”

“Oh it won't be long princess… I just want to guide ya’…” He coos lovingly at her with a mellow voice. “I want ya’, to touch for me darling… Let me talk ya’ through it m’kay…?” As much embarrassing this seems to you, you can't help but want to please him. “What do ya’ say angel…?” You just nod frantically as you slide your panties down. He sees you shift in your position. “Show Daddy your panties darlin’, show to the camera how cute they are, hmm…?”

As soon as you had slided them off your dripping cunnie you show them to him, light blue with a bow at the front, cute, but what caught his attention was the visible wet patch it had formed. He whistles softly. “Ya’ got wet even without doing dirty talk baby…Your kitty is so good darling… I can smell it from here.” He says with a charming frat jock smile, you could bet your soul he was one in his teen years, but anyways. “Now use your pretty fingers and circle your nub, you know where that is hmm..?” He asks you as he was asking a dog if he was a good boy. You nod softly. “I knew you would, my smart girl…” He says while slowly palming himself through the thin fabric of his pajama trousers. You start letting out soft whimpers, catching his attention every time while he was trying to focus on himself. “Can ya’ show daddy your princess parts darlin’...?” You stop your motion looking directly into your phone camera. “Ya’ didn't like that huh…” He says with a sour chuckle. “Well don't worry darlin’, ya’ don't have to show me anything ya’ aren't comfortable with, ok princess…?” You just nod shyly and kept moving your fingers.

“Fit one of them in, c’mon baby…” He says with now, his cock out, but out of view from the camera of course, he's a gentleman after all! As he sees your face contorting -your puffy lips in a soft pout and your brows furrowed while you looked shyly at him through the device- he begins to pump his length up and down, just like he knows he likes. Your soft whimpers feeding his ego, therefore making his blood pump more and more to his brain below the waist. He just closes his eyes for a moment, the next second he opens them he is cumming non-stop to your airy moans and mewls. Guess he isn't the stallion he used to be in his twenties, gosh even thirties…

He looks at the time 4:52. He grunts softly, cleaning his hand on the side of the rob he was wearing. “Baby…” He says in a husky voice, making you stop, just when you were about to reach the peak! “Y-yes Daddy…?” You say slowing down your finger pumping. “I-I gotta go sweetie… It's late and I have a big money meeting tomorrow… okay?” You completely stop, was he literally telling you to fuck off cause he already cummed…? No, but you are overreacting in your mind, feeling so used and not even getting a reward out of it. But you just softly smile and say “It's alright, I understand it…” You say with a fake soft voice. “I knew you would understand it sweetheart…” He says with a pleased smile. “I'll text you tomorrow m’kay…? Love you, bye.” He quickly says and hangs up, not even giving you a chance to object about it, maybe that's why he did it that way.

Anyways now it's almost 5 am, and you have to wake up like… in an hour maybe…? Got to dress cute, cause “firsts impressions last”, not too prudy but also not showing your bra, you decide to get your shit together and walk to the bathroom to wash your face, you change into something more formal, a tube skirt and white crisp shirt, a short heels and you are on the go. How come with even extra time you are running late…? You take the bus, yeah, people stare at you, yeah, deal with it. You finally arrive at your destination after several bus stops, a corporation building, they say they were looking for a secretary… Who knows it could be like the movie and you start having a BDSM relationship with your boss and-

“Miss, Mr.Kennedy will see you now…” The assistant says from behind her desk, giving you a soft smile,you analyze her, she is truly an american beauty, high standard chick from uptown for sure. After her fake smile disappears you walk to the door of your probably next boss office. You knock on it twice, a husky rumble saying “Come in…” traveling through the sound waves. You slowly open the door, greeted by the back of Mr.Kennedy as he looked through the windows the city at his feet, he slowly turns around, his eyes slightly opening up further as he realizes who he is, she frowns softly, her mouth opening, ready to speak.

“Oh darlin’ thought I told you I was going to be the one to reach out to you didn't I…?”

[zyonsay]

hi z!!

could you please do a lando request??

the reader is afab and they’re pronouns are they/he and maybe he (the reader) is just having a bad day because, first of all they just woke up in a crappy mood because they’re feeling dysphoric (and i know i get cranky like hell when this happens) and then they see hate comments like purposely misgendering the reader in lando’s comment section!!

and then lando both kinda goes off on twitter about it, while comforting reader just talking about how he’s the best boyfriend/partner

(that’s all i have take it from here😭😭)

btw you’re one of the few writers that i know off that do male!readers

OH and i saw how it said to say if the afab/amab is a big thing, so YES him being a afab is a big deal to the story!!

LOVE YOU POOKIE💗💗

Love you, no matter what LN4

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: Dysphoria sucks ass

Warnings: Queerphobia, Slurs: Tr@nny/f@g

Now playing: 'Blonde Chaya sped up' by Amaru & Gringo Bamba

AN: Hey there pookie! Thank you so much for this request!! I also get cranky asf when im dysphoric. ok well admittedly, im always cranky . But anyways! I made some teeny tiny changes and i hope that's alright! Love you!

Fun Fact of the day: My biology teacher is a skinwalker

(i'll rage if there isn't a brit shaped present under the tree by the 24th)

A loud, irritated groan left your figure as you fought with nothing in particular. That was a lie. You fought with yourself right now.

The t shirt clung to your figure because of the cold sweat you woke up in and your hair was an absolute mess. The spot next to you on the bed was empty, you knew that your most loved one was probably on a stream.

Scrambling from the bed you passed the long mirror on the bedroom wall; another irritated huff left you. That feeling of being trapped in the wrong body snaked up your leg and pierced you right in your heart. Maybe a cup of hot tea or coffee will cheer you up.

You passed the office, hearing a loud groan from withing, followed by your boyfriend’s voice, explaining how unfair it was for him to get shot ten seconds after joining the game.

The water boiler hummed loudly as you sat on the barstool by the kitchen island, slumped over like a sad little bag of potatoes. You also felt like one. Yet another groan erupted from the office, making you think of something. Quickly fetching your phone from the pockets of your shorts, you opened Whatsapp and sent Lando a quick text. It was almost comical how you could hear him talk to his audience about you.

“My lovely boyfriend just asked if I wanted some tea!”, he giggled like a giddy child. Brits and their tea. He sent you a text back, telling you he’ll be in the kitchen in a few minutes, he just wanted to wrap the stream up.

Then his eyes landed on a username consisting of various numbers and letters. ‘Ew bro, you still dating that f@g? Thought u moved on lolz’ The blood in his veins froze and he felt the anger boiling in the pit of his stomach. Another one popped up, this time from a different viewer. ‘OMG WAIT is it that Tr@nny he once showed lmao, Lan you can do better smh’ And with that a stream of vile words erupted as the strangers on the other side of the screen began vomiting senseless hate. ‘No fucking way. I bet y’all a million bucks that I’d be a less embarrassing wag lol’

What he had missed in this mess of hate comments was that ‘y/n.02’ had joined the stream and saw the hateful words through teary eyes. You clutched your phone with a desperate grip as you sobbed.

“Y’all need to fucking grow up and accept it. I love my boyfriend.” was all he said before swiftly clicking ‘end stream’ and rushing out of the office. He found you with glistening tears streaming down your face and a red, sniffling nose. Immediately, Lando threw his arms around you, pulling you up from the barstool and into a tight hug. “Don’t listen to them darling”, his voice was sweet and almost as quiet as the breath you let out after that. His T shirt was soaked with your tears, but he couldn’t care less. “I love you so fucking much. And nothing can change that. You’re the best damn thing that happened to me.”, his big, gentle hands rubbed your back and traced patterns over your t shirt.

Lando pulled away and looked you intently in the eyes. He closed the distance between you two and embraced you in a sweet, loving kiss.

“Let’s drink some tea baby.”, Brits and their fucking tea.

[writhe]

because of the car situation, i didn’t get to visit my old friend today. i’m excited to see her and hear about her life and it felt like a step towards learning tattoo stuff too. was disappointing in multiple ways. i was on the phone trying to figure out some insurance stuff until noon. had to finish ordering my ID (needed to figure out how to pay online without a debit card too).

walked hal, saw a large branch fall in the road and block traffic. my housemate cut it up (and i helped move it and i also chatted with the neighbor- once it had been dragged out of the street, the city said they wouldn’t deal with it since it was no longer on public property so this random elderly woman suddenly had this on her plate? hello?). but all seems it will resolve well and quickly

took reference photos for a commission im excited about while on the walk, and a man with a small fire smoldering in his yard saw me through the hedges and told me to come check out the outdoor museum in his yard and i told him i was heading somewhere but that the smoke smelled good and he said “you can come smell this whole damn house” but not in a way that felt threatening, just kind of interesting, and kind of made me think of a ghost. i wonder what would have happened if i went in, i had halliwell with me and a knife so when someone hedges those bets i tend to give them slightly more of the benefit of the doubt

got home and spent the rest of the day packing nearly 50 orders (thanks y’all). got really in it with some emotions. was hoping to go to a farm workday too but by the time that would have happened i was tired from doing things that felt like effort and figured i had other social plans later anyway. went on a second walk and ran into some friends in an alley who told me the other plans i had later were cancelled (we were gonna play MtG and i hadn’t checked the chat)

a friend came over to use our washing machine and i was cranky at first bc i’d wanted to be alone for a little while but it ended up being nice. i fucked around with my sewing machine for a couple hours and fixed my duvet cover (hal ripped a huge hole in it while clawing at it). it’s far more functional than it is aesthetically pleasing and was actually really engaging for me

the night ended with me and my housemates and our friend hanging out in the living room and cracking and eating nuts. talking a little bit about emotions and politics and stuff, it got really sweet and i feel nice

my neighbor texted me that he thought he saw fishing around in my car, so around midnight i went out to check and found that he’d bought be a big ole 12 pack of my favorite drinks & set it inside the passenger seat for me to find (-,:

[cassiefromhell]

Astarion Rewrites 01 - "The Meeting"

Series Summary: This is a new series, in which I rewrite classic Astarion scenes in short bursts (like when tav meets him, tav discovers he's a vampire, those key moments) because I need more chaos in my Astarion experience. So I'm writing it. If you have a particular moment you want to be written, comment or request it! I'm gonna try to write a gn!tav, but it might lean a little towards fem.

a/n: brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot brainrot i just need chaotic tav

warnings: mention of violence, slight lae'zel slander. if he's ooc im sorry T-T

“Oh dear lord,” you grumble, tugging on Shadowheart’s arm. “Look. See that man? I’d bet you anything he was on the ship,” you whisper, pointing at a white-haired, pale elf. He’s glancing around nervously, and then he spots you, and you flinch. 

“Ah, shit,” Shadowheart mumbles, but begrudgingly follows you forward as you approach.

“Hurry! I’ve got one of those brain things caught!” The man hisses, gesturing towards the bushes. “There, in the grass. You can kill it, can’t you?”

You give him a once-over. And again. He’s too pretty to let die, but there’s something about his demeanor that’s got you narrowing your eyes at him. You’ve had too many fast ones pulled on you in Baldur’s Gate to fall for this one.

You put on your best heroic smile. “Of course, sir. But I’m afraid I dropped my weapon a bit back— could you lend me yours?”

He shakes his head. “What? No, I don’t have a weapon. Why do you think I’m asking you to kill it? Quick, before it gets away!”

“No, silly, I mean the weapon you meant to hold against my throat. Perhaps a dagger, or a shortsword?” your smile broadens, and you wiggle your fingers. “C’mon, I know a good ol’ Baldurian heist when I see one. Give me your weapon, and I’ll take a looksies at your runaway brain problem.”

He blinks. And then blinks again. “I don’t know what you’re on about.”

“Oh,” you laugh, pulling out your own dagger and twirling it around your finger. “This is cute. You’re cute, really. And you’re a good liar, I’ll give you that. Just… not good enough to pass by me.”

From behind you, Shadowheart gives a low whistle. 

The white-haired elf narrows his eyes, and then smirks — recognizing that he’s met his match, no doubt. He holds out a hand. 

“Astarion. And you are?”

You give him your name, shaking his hand.

“I saw you on that ship, didn’t I?” Astarion asks, glancing between you and Shadowheart. “Both of you. And some… green creature.”

“I do have a rather memorable face, hm? I’m sure you did see us— and that green creature is a cranky githyanki named Lae’zel,” you pause, considering that for a moment. “We’re not… actually sure where she went,” glancing to Shadowheart, you rub the back of your neck.

“How curious,” Astarion’s eyes rake over you.

“Well,” you turn on your heel, marching towards the wrecked ship. “Let’s go try to track down Lae’zel.”

Shadowheart shrugs and follows you, but Astarion stays behind.

You pause, looking over your shoulder at the pale elf. “You coming?”

He opens and closes his mouth a few times before speaking. “Why would I be following you?”

“You mean you don’t want to join us? I thought that’s where this was headed; you talk to us, we do introductions, you become our newest travel companion… would you rather be left out here alone? With the brain things?”

“Well, no, of course not.”

“Then come on.”

You continue walking, and this time, Astarion follows close behind.

[starfxkrinc]

omg stop bc i wanted to bring up the he kinda gets hysterical when shes not around— bc why does his chest feel like its caving in nd his hands are shaking… god forbid he wakes up nd shes not there (whole time shes making a sandwich in the kitchen). does kitten get a certain way when shes not around him? cranky i bet… (im projecting im very cranky prone) their codependency <333

— 🦢

oh she gets suuuuper quiet and super irritable you cant say anything without her snapping or a snarky remark. thing is shes not as affectionate as him so it takes her longer to start feeling weird but when it does it she can feel this burn in her chest like she's angry and she'll fidget and pick at her nails and cuticles til she sees him and its super subtle but she'll rub her cheek against his arm when hes back next to her. jj knows not to say anything about it because she'll move if he does

[theloonatic]

Also they underestimate how stupid the clothes were WHERES THE LONG STUPID ASS SHOES??? WHERES THE DRESSES THAT TRAIL FOR MILES WHERE IS THE UTTER WEIRDNESS THAT IS CODPIECES

It's just insane 2 me that historical movies will pull all sortsa bs for "historical accuracy" and then make European royalty look like models like. This girlie didn't have a family tree she had a family sphere and she brushed her teeth with actual fucking sugar mk stop portraying her with full glowing makeup

[the-panmixxia]

Pound of Prevention (and an ounce of cure) Chapter 1

Before we begin the fic, I would like to preface this by saying - this is my continuation of the 'A Black Cat For (un)Luck' and is also my big bang for this year! I was lucky enough to be paired up with @im-an-anxious-wreck to create some incredible art. I hope you check them out and stay tuned for the master post! (I no longer have a pc, so I'm doing all this on mobile,,, please be kind lmao)

"Oh em gee. What's a lil cutie like you doing in here?"

Virgil froze, fur standing on edge as spook quietly tilted spooks head. In the darkness of the apartment, spooks vampire roommate lurked rather ominously. The vampire that was supposed to be at work right now, shit. Had Virgil forgotten a day off, holiday of some kind? Why the fuck was Remy here!

"An itty bitty kitty~" They purred, and faster than Virgil could blink, spook was lifted by the scruff. "Where the heck did you come from? How'd you even get in? I bet Virgil let you in, knew that little shit was keeping a secret. Honestly thought spook just had a boyfriend or some shit like that. I prefer this though."

Virgil yowled in mild irritation, willing spooks body to move so spook could get out of this embarrassing hold. Remy simply smiled, showing off a row of pearly whites, along with an intimidating set of fangs. Virgil would've been intimated if it wasn't Remy.

"Spicy lil' cayenne coffee, huh? What do you want, babes?"

'let me down!' Virgil internally roared. It came out as a fierce sounding hiss, but Remy simply cooed in spooks face. Humiliating.

"Oohhh I'm keeping you. Don't care what Virgie says. You snooze, you lose. C'mon, there's some chicken in the fridge, it's time to totally manipulate your affection and make me your fave owner. Yeah. Bet cranky lil Virge never gives you chicken, huh? Criminal. Absolutely criminal."

Virgil was plonked down on the cabinets, gentle claws scratching spooks ears before wandering off towards the fridge. Spook meowed imploringly, but was ultimately ignored. Bummer. The kitten looked around, sniffing the outlet and cringing at how filthy it was. Spook should probably clean the kitchen properly in the morning, the landlord would probably blow up and evict them both if they reported another ant infestation.

Spook peered over the edge of the cabinet as Remy was preoccupied googling what cats could eat. The answer was no they can not eat fruit loaf Remy you idiot -

Hmm. The ledge was too tall for Virgil to safely launch spookself off. In human form, spook had a reputation as the perfect blend of cat and cryptid due to the uncanny ability to appear on random surfaces and within impossible crevices - though it seemed in actual cat form, Virgil was lacking.

This called for one thing. It was time to meow frantically until everyone caved to spooks needs.

Meows began, slipping out the kitten's body with ease, practically screaming with urgency. Lemme down! Lemme down, I want down!

It was effective, Remy whipping around and staring at Virgil as if the kitten had burst into song or something as equally baffling. After a second, Remy shook their head and stood up, shushing loudly.

"Shhh, no, shhh! You're gonna wake Virgil up! That little goth is deprived of sleep as it, we can't be waking spook up."

Aw. Well, that was almost cute.

"Plus, spooks such a stress head, I know if spook wakes up I'll just get chewed out for calling in sick today."

So that's why Remy was still here? Virgil hadn't forgotten their shifts. Little shit. Spook yowled in the utmost distaste, and Remy just narrowed his eyes, hands on hips.

"Don't give me that look, you crusty little feline. You gotta take a day off every once in a while, keep your boss on their toes."

Crusty? How could anyone be so cruel to a little kitten? Virgil hissed in offense, swiping tiny claws towards spooks roommate.

Remy seemed to interpret the dangerous display as an urge to be picked up, as Virgil was once again in spooks roommate's arms - thankfully the hold was no longer on Virgil's scruff and instead cradled in Remy's arms, the gentle kiss to spooks head was vastly different to Remy's usual casual affection.

"C'mon, hissy-boy, let's grab you something to eat. I'll just give ya, yup, there it is. Eat this, babes, hear cats go nuts over this stuff."

Four paws landed on a cheap laminate floor, as Remy placed both the cat and a take-away container of dry chicken down. Huh. At least it was human food? Yeah, it was certainly more appealing than the strange oat food that Virgil was fed the last time a person found spook in kitten form.

"Alright, babes! I think we just became besties, huh? Are you my best friend? I'm gonna tell Virgil I've ditched spook for you. I'm sure I'll be forgiven."

Well, at least that much was true. If Remy had brought home another cat Virgil would have been more than happy to house the little thing, but that wasn't the point! There was no way Virgil would tell Remy about this predicament either, they'd never let spook live it down. Virgil bumps spooks head against Remy's leg gently, to signal spook was finished eating.

"Aw. I guess I'll let you mooch around. Gotta get out of these day clothes," Remy tugged on their pajamas "and into something stylish. B-R-B, kitty cat."

This gave Virgil some time on spooks own, mooching around the apartment - spook never normally left spooks room during these nightly spells, but Virgil didn't realize how different everything would look from down here. Even the chipped coffee table looked like some sort of landmark.

The shower kicked in a few moments later, while Virgil was trying to scale the couch, and spook was quietly happy that spook wasn't sleeping - Remy didn't have a great gauge of how much noise they were making, and had woken Virgil up on multiple occasions.

The time alone have Virgil time to ponder spooks predicament for the millionth time. As inconvenient as this curse is, Janus really could've hit spook with something a lot more deadly - Virgil is thankful for that, at least, but really how long can the bitter mage keep this going? There is a time limit, surely. Virgil can't spend spooks entire life turning into a kitten every night like some mockery of Princess Fiona. Maybe, just maybe, Virgil should speak to Janus again. Not to forgive him. To stop this. Yeah, that was it.

It's Janus that should be asking for Virgil's forgiveness, anyway. It's totally immoral to curse your former best friend and roommate. Probably. In fact, the mage was so far up his own ass with all that philosophy crap, he'd probably go on a long monologue on how perfectly moral this whole situation is while also dressing down the idea of morality or… Something. Virgil kind of tuned out of those debates.

Yeah, no, contacting Janus would be spooks last choice. Virgil was not interested in trying to appeal to their ego again, especially not with Remus around, being a little shit and stoking the flame.

Virgil huffed and tried to find a position that was comfortable to curl up on. Being much smaller only seemed to magnify the lumps and bumps in the old piece of furniture, the stuffing underneath the fake leather was compressed into a texture resembling porridge, and still smelt like the sidewalk spook and Remy dragged it from. Vampires had advanced senses of smell, so could Remy smell this shit all the time? Are they used to it? It was so gross. No wonder Virgil burst out in pimples whenever spook crashed on the couch.

A curt knock rapped on the apartment door. Virgil froze on the couch and tilted spooks head. They weren't expecting anyone, unless Remy decided to pull a 'roommate mega dick move' and invite friends over, in the middle of the night, without telling Virgil.

The mystery person knocked again, but the shower kept running and there were no other indications that Remy heard the door. Virgil tediously jumped down, trying to utilize the powers of this strange body spook was inhabiting to listen in on clues of who this may be-

"Hey, Microsoft-nerd, we aren't knocking on doors! Waking up the neighbours is not the way to get help in feline forage!"

The voice was unfamiliar to Virgil, as was the answering voice, much closer to the door.

"I am aware of the standard procedure, Roman. However, on this occasion, I can sense a fellow vampire is inside and thus there is a high chance they'll answer the door. Though that does not seem to be the case right now…"

"Shoot, can't you use your magic vampire brain to communicate?"

"No, Roman, that only works with fellow coven members. And even then it takes an especially large bond to send comments or instructions. It's mostly feelings of visions of something - like sending the sense of danger out to alert the whole coven to a hostility."

"Ugh,whatever - just post the flyer. Patton is awaiting our return. He's cooking Madras! With venison."

"Roman we have several more apartments to visit -"

Virgil jumped back with a slight squeak, as a menacing object floated from the letter box to where spook was just standing. Once it had landed, Virgil could properly inspect it. It seemed to be a lost poster, with the words MISSING KITTEN in a bold, red font. A stock image of a black kitten graced the front, watermark pasted all over, with an arrow labeling it 'KITTEN LOOKS LIKE THIS' as well as a few paragraphs of text all around, explaining that this kitten had somehow got out of the apartment, that they were a rescue and not at an adoptable age, that they'll seek out warm small areas to keep warm and safe, and very kindly asking residents to keep an eye out. There was a whole $800 listed as reward money.

Virgil's first thought was pity, some poor person had lost a cat they'd tried to rescue, and was clearly trying their best to find the lil thing. Hell, Virgil should probably help look for it tomorrow, eight hundred could really help spook and Remy out this month.

Virgil's second thought, after briefly skimming contact information, was 'oh shit'. 'Please Contact Patton,' was at the bottom, with a telephone number, and beneath that was the apartment number. The apartment that Virgil had crawled out of when snatched by a werewolf.

Patton, that was the werewolf's name. Spook remembers the uncomfortable elevator ride where Patton introduced faemself, there's absolutely no mistaking it, Patton wasn't exactly a super common name. The two at the door were talking about a Patton as well, weren't they? One was a vampire, which didn't make sense, but was the other part of Patton's pack?

This was a lot of trouble to go through for one scrappy kitten, if Remy's theory was true.

Would Patton eat a kitten?

It's not like Virgil knows the were properly, but spook did spend a night with Patton, a night where Patton thought fae was interacting with a real kitten and therefore had no reason to be fake nice to spook. Shit, had Virgil just judged this were on event that even spook didn't think happened?

"Ooh, what'cha got, gurl? You gonna bring me my mail like a lil puppy?" A voice coos, Virgil snapping out of spooks character development to look up at an amused Remy who was perched on the arm of the stinky ass couch.

The vamp was dressed down in lounge wear, though it was glaringly obviously the 'Falling In Reverse' band shirt was Virgil's and not Remy's. Virgil stared distastefully at spooks roommate, grumpy sounds leaving the kittens tiny body. Remy glowered right back, pointing at the creature.

"Oh, you must be Virgil's pet. No one else can embody that much grumpy emo vibes. Spook has a billion tees, I'm just wearing it this once."

That was such a Remy response. Unable to roll spooks eyes at the vampire, Virgil opted to turn back around and paw the flyer once more. Over here, idiot, come read this.

Remy, for once, didn't use his vampire powers to teleport across the room, and instead took a rather leisurely stroll across the room, crouching down to read.

"Hmmm, missing cat… Is that you? Did Virgie steal someone's pet, huh?" They lifted the page closer, inspecting it with pursed lips. Remy's eyes were a very pleasing shade of red behind those shades, it was quite nice to see. Virgil moved closer, seating spookself on Remy's socked foot, and as planned, receiving a pleasant head scratch.

"Wait. Hold the fucking phone, I know that apartment, that's fucking Wolfie's apartment. Holy crap, what a psycho, he's actually putting out lost posters? Did you manage to escape his dinner plate or something?"

Remy scooped the kitten up, holding Virgil close with a protective grumble. Like a feral wolf was going to burst through the door and gobble spook up. Virgil made sure to warble out a disgruntled noise at the vampire.

"Hold your horses, puss-puss, it says here you went missing last Wednesday and that's when Virgil crawled through my window like a creep," Remy held the little body up to eye level, staring so intensely, and for a second was sure Remy was a gorgon with how still spook got. Did they figure it out? How?

"That must've been what spook was doing, rescuing you! Honestly, I didn't think Virge had enough courage to break into a were's house to steal something. Spook can't even say spooks order at the drive thru, so I'm thoroughly impressed."

Well that was both rude and awfully convenient, as much as Virgil trusted spooks roommate on matters of life and death… Honestly, Remy likely wouldn't let Virgil live it down if they found out that spook turned into a tiny kitten each night. Virgil would rather not deal with the embarrassment.

"Come on, you. I wanna watch Grey's Anatomy and I'm not letting you wander round the apartment. You'd probably piss on something."

That was rude. Virgil had excellent control of spooks bladder, thank you very much. Still, this was at least a way to watch the soap without pretending it was cringey, spook supposed. Remy draped across the god awful sofa, falling into a position Virgil had seen spooks roommate in many times, and settled the tiny body of Virgil on his chest. Since Remy didn't have body heat, it was rather like laying on a tiled floor - or having the pillow be permanently cold. Virgil decided spook liked it that way, and a gentle purr started up.

Remy's expression, still trained on the television as they searched for the show, turned down right gooey.

"You cute little thing. You're gonna love watching this, look, Meredith has just gone seeing her dad and Thatcher is there. Not British Thatcher, this one's a dude. Was in Prison Break as well, we can watch that one later."

Maybe this is why Latte ran away. Contrary to what Remy believes, most cats aren't down to sit still and watch endless sitcoms.

As the hours ticked on, Virgil tried many times to sneak away. It seemed Remy was adamant to stay on the couch all night and to keep spook right next to them. Rigorous squirming landed Virgil to be sat in a shoebox full of newspaper - something spook hadn't noticed Remy making before all this - then listening to the vampire repeat a 'potty' command repeatedly. Embarrassingly, Virgil had used it, but only once. Spooks dumbass roommate hadn't given Virgil a single drop of water.

Still pressed against Remy's cold chest, Virgil could barely make out the busted kitchen clock as it struggled its way towards half nine. Shit. Shit, Virgil was screwed.

Hissing and yowling had not worked all night, though Virgil was currently weighing the pros and cons to scratching Remy's eyes out. The vampire in question sighed at spooks dramatics, scooping the kitten up and plonking it back into the DIY litter tray. This time, Remy stood up, stretching long limbs and teasing their curls into an effortless, glamorous bedhead. Red eyes stared into green for a moment before Remy let out a loud yawn.

"You stay there, puss. I need a leak, then I'm gonna cook Virge some breakfast. Try and sweeten spook up before I ask for a feeding, heh."

Aw, that was almost sweet. In a way. Virgil was gonna enjoy that breakfast, if spook could just escape this darn box while Remy was out of the room. Huzzah! Freedom.

The box tilted over, freeing the black kitten, as spook made a mad dash for spooks bedroom, luckily it always had a jar open.

At that moment, the magic began to tingle, signaling to Virgil that time was up, but spook was nearly to the bedroom. Unfortunately, a loud 'hey!' distracted spook, turning to look at the vampire that seemed rather peeved about the cat escaping. A stagger on an uneven rug had Virgil tripping up, unfortunately the transformation completed itself at that moment, meaning Virgil's human body grew itself big enough to smack full force into the door, leaving the emo flat on the floor with a light groan.

The door was pushed with quite some force, hitting the doorstop and coming back to bap Virgil a second time. Brilliant.

Virgil sighed into the cheap olefin carpet, hearing hesitant feet shuffle around to get a better look. Spook bent spooks neck awkwardly, looking at Remy with squinting eyes. The vampire looked completely befuddled, before lips began to curve upwards into a big smile. A big, overly smug smile.

"Oh, babes. You've got some tea to spill!"

[cathalbravecog]

Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.

before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.

definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)

and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about

because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)

and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.

and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...

and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)

some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.

it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).

like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...

anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.

it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!

but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.

it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.

not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.

there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.

this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.

one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.

i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.

every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.

i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.

why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...

i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.

like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...

not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It

like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.

there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.

but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.

[suugrbunz]

hi girly!!

1. love love your stuff

2. hope you’re doing well fr

3. could i pls request a bob ship?

appearance wise i’m 5’5 with an average build. ngl i’m a little heavy on the top iykwim so my back always hurts fr. LOL anyways i have blue/green eyes and brown hair that has like goldfish highlights in the sun. i’m half asian half white so do with that what you will. i’m pretty pale honestly oh and my hair is long, like almost to my butt long. id like to think i have a nice smile lol and i love making a pouty face, it’s just so fun.

personality wise i’m an ENFP-T so i’m naturally extroverted and outgoing. i make friends wherever i go and i’m a great people person. i can hold conversations with really anyone and people always tell me i’m very mature and good with adults and older people. i’m also a 2w3 so i tend to be a bit of a people pleaser. i naturally am drawn to leadership positions and taking charge but when i do i often over extend myself trying to accommodate everyone and their every need. i am a generally funny person. sometimes i make a joke that goes too far but i love making others laugh. i also am always complimenting people. i can be insecure myself but i love making others feel good.

i can get into a mood very easily tho. i do my best to hide it but i am very busy so i am not always the greatest in the morning and if i spend too much time around certain people i get cranky. i don’t snap nearly as much as i used too but my friends can tell when something’s off. i hate getting in those moods where im sulking but it happens sometimes. usually after some joking around or spending time with other people i snap out of it. what can i say im stubborn.

i love being involved in school. student council, SPIRIT WEEK, choir, clubs— all that jazz. i’m a pretty good student yk like i have a good rep at school and am pretty well known. i am also a theater kid. i know im sorry. i have been singing for a really long time and it’s like my thing.

i love you sing, dance, act, read, write, listen to music, shop, and spend time with people. my love language is for sure quality time but i do love words of affirmation. i often get called an “old soul” because i am very sentimental with old school values and i am drawn to anything 40s-90s. i am a die hard 80s music and movie fan and my friends think it’s funny im so obsessed with the classics (if you couldnt tell i am a history and english nerd, my close friend calls me her “favorite history buff”) but yeah i love spending time with others. me and my dad bond over watching movies together and listening to music and you bet im the life of the party wherever i go. always the first to do or initiate something, jumping onto the dance floor first and being the last too leave — i don’t like missing out so i take all the chances i can.

anyways i hope that’s enough info and i’m sorry if that’s too much or i rambled. honestly id be grateful if you even read up to this point. if you get a chance to write a ship i would really appreciate it but if not i totally understand!! no pressure whatsoever. thank you bestie boo :)💛💛

I've not felt quite that happy in the past week for numerous reasons. I think with time I'll be fine. Dumb memories, yknow? I know what you mean I'm heavy on top as well lmao. I like the way you speak. You seem really exciting. Thanks for the request

here's your ship!! (🚢)

꒰ I ship you with . . . Floyd Talbert ৎ୭ ꒱

A mutual friend decided to hold a party that was themed to a 1950s sock hop. Dancing to 1950s music was an ideal situation for you especially with the fashion you'd dawn. It seems absolutely perfect, right?

In the corner of the dance hall, he kept glancing at your. Sure, he could probably dance with anyone he'd want to but he had formed a soft spot for you. Even if he didn't know you. Something about your energy was so lovely.

He fell from the start, something about you was... Well, he couldn't put his finger on it but he knew you two were meant to have a relationship... Even if he has some red flags (he comes off a bit player-ish but it's ok)

Your first date is shortly after your first meeting; The way you two met was romantic and by the end of the night had been obviously flirting. So, he asked for your number and when it'd be best to call you.

You two ended up planning the date at the local mall; There's an arcade and theatre nearby, plus mall food. So you two can window shop, go play games, or maybe watch a movie. Maybe all of the above. It seems quite wholesome.

Floyd kissed you goodnight, it wasn't on the lips. That'd be too much at a far too quick rate. He kissed your forehead and for a moment you saw him blush. It's been quite clear he isn't shy, but hey, he's got a soft spot for you. And he can't hide blush.

Your second first kiss— aka your real first kiss...

You initiated it. You gave his lips a quick peck at the end of one of your dates. He was awestruck by the feelings that fluttered around his stomach. You were everything he wanted to fall in love with. You're the measure of his dreams.

The song that represents you two is ; I Saw Her Standing There by The Beatles (pretty cute for you two <3)