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#so yeah. even in case you feel like you're not doing enough. i'm sure you're doing what you currently can
tom-is-online · 2 days
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not to be rude but ena and akito are. completely different in terms of personality and overall character😭 maybe someone likes akito but doesn’t fw ena’s personality or whatever. it’s fine
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I don't know what you're reading, but I would never describe them as completely different. Sure, they ARE different characters, but if anything is similar about them, it is their personalities and the role they play in the story.
They are both very dedicated and passionate about their corresponding passions despite neither of them having "natural talent." Instead of giving up, they keep working hard to show themselves that they can follow the path they want to despite what others (Vivid Street (Arata) in Akitos's case and their dad in Ena's) around them have to say about it.
They're both very blunt whether they mean to be rude or not, but they both also care a lot about the people around them, especially their units and each other even if they don't show it in normal ways.
Their inferiority in their talents also brings the fact that both of them experience jealousy for people who show they have more talent which is shown in both of their focus events a lot
Neither of them is very academically gifted mostly through a lack of interest
And theres a lot more which im sure someone less tired than me would love to tell me in the notes :)
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the 4komas even riff on them often acting very similar
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+ Their BNW quotes literally mean the same thing
the whole thing with them both really like cheesecake and pancakes but hate carrots is also meant to be a nod to their similarities
people have a tendency to demonise Ena for being mean or violent or whatever people want to call her. but what Ena is usually criticised for Akito typically isn't (cough cough this fanbase has a history of being very male-biased which I hate)
Akito is also mean, he was a dick to everyone in his unit in the main story at some point and he often pulls pranks on the people in his school (Tsukasa) just to highlight a few easy things
AND FOR THE VIOLENT THING.
People have a tendency to highlight Ena scratching Akito when she was stressed out in middle school. and not to generalise. but. i am convinced you people are only children AND did not read the VBS main story
siblings fight, it's normal, especially in a household like the Shinonomes with the whole emotionally neglectful dad thing they got going on, i fought with my brother a lot as a kid and it happens. I'm not saying it's great and everyone should be attacking their siblings but the people who focus on Ena scratching Akito seem to magically forget.
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AKITO PUNCHED TOYA HARD ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE BRUISED IN THE MAIN STORY.
I've seen people make the argument that Akito can be excused cuz of the circumstances it happened being stressful and made him angry. But that clearly ignores what Ena was going through in middle school.
saying "Ena scratching Akito was a common occurrence but Akito only punched someone once" just does not feel like a good enough argument at all.
the last post gave a good argument on it so just go read that to lmao
I'll say it again. stop babying the male characters. if you're gonna excuse Akito punching Toya in the head and not excuse Ena when she was in MIDDLE SCHOOL then I don't know what to tell you
anyway.
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i think a large part of their dynamic is carried by their similarities - they share a lot of the same key traits and they tend to but heads due to it but they do care about each other a lot in their own sibling way. I also just relate to them both a lot lmao
if someone wants to make a legitimate argument for how the Shinonomes are very different in personality, be my guest feel free to rb with what you think
but in my opinion at the VERY LEAST they share so much of their personalities and with how much Ena is demonised by some of this fandom it's a red flag to me to like Akito and hate Ena.
but yeah please rb with anything else u wanna add cuz I've definitely missed some stuff
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crowfromfoggyforest · 3 months
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i'm doing my best and that's enough.
you're doing your best and that's also enough.
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i think i've only seen a soma playthrough twice and the first time i didn't absorb it great lol but upon just some light brushing up (incl a short article that was one of the few results that cropped up when i was like "show me the images for 'soma's save feature featured fisting, right' (yeah basically)") it's like, it's always fun when you're just left with a lot of room to Interpret Themes and unsurprisingly at this juncture i'm lasering in on just, like, the matter of [the self vs the other] via this premise that basically people can just make a copy of their Psyche at any point (but needing to find a new & different Soma in which to upload it but like, largely setting that aside when In This Scenario the new bodies don't affect their minds / sense of self at all....except for when they sometimes do? or maybe not. the like glitchy monsters are just kind of WAU automatons, right. and the people are all able to act / communicate themselves as people, though they might be affected by like, existential crises over the goings on) wherein like....the protagonist can Split In Two* at a few points via the psyche copying/uploading, and then the game Follows the copy that will be continuing to advance the plot, and the version of the protagonist we Were following is now An Other even though it's like, that was The Self (at least insofar as that was our first person pov player character) up till just now. and the protagonist can Know like, yeah that's You right over there also. and yet iirc from like, yesterday's light research, in the first instance he at least gets the Option to kill that Other/Self who was, up till just then, the Self to us too, if that makes him feel better abt the existential crisis, or at least discomfort, enough to like, keep moving right along lol (speaking of. just the other day i was like "adagioly onomatopoeiaing the opening banjo strums of rainbow connection from the muppet movie soundtrack does so much for me" and then i learned it was the anniversary of its theatrical release. hell yes. also memorably once when like marinating for hours in a general malaise & failing to find the wherewital to get up i was like "haha oh wait. i'm playing the song 'movin right along' from the muppet movie in my head. okay" up & at em)
anyways the fisting article (which, i was wondering what thoughts it would have on that truly interesting facet of the game. mostly it posited that the uhh sphincteresque penetration of it all would be Typically considered to make cishet men anxious / threatened / vulnerable, and notes the protagonist (hypothetically a cishet man) is indeed trepidatious about it, while also arguing he markedly Doesn't really hesitate in shit that hurts or endangers others in the course of his shit (though ig that can also depend on the player? haven't really rewatched it recently enough to know how much his dialogue adds to [as a character though he's making it clearer he just wants to cut a swath through your shit asap]) and also questions whether the game thinks of (or, from their argument, knows of) the protag as pretty sphincteresque himself. and like yeah probably imo lol like thee ending being what it is, and as far as i know no like Multiple Endings like in amnesia series* stories usually, and thus more room to have a protagonist who talks to characters in the present and i think like, without the ability to choose what he says
anyways that the protagonist can Understand like, hey see that guy over there, that's literally also you rn, and yet he can [Not accept that] in one case such that he'll kill that Self for "his own" Self's comfort really, as the fisting article expressed, to continue believing he is Unique and the One True Self, the only Real [himself]. when, to be sure, the game Could have kept the first person pov on that version of him we'd Been up till then, and had that pov of the one killed. or maybe left behind in another instance, i don't remember all the "transfers"....catherine Explicitly explaining that only the copy/upload format is possible, Not Transfers, making sense what with like. her magic brain scans that can can wholly parse & store your Psyche data, whatever that'd be like, definitely not being meant to, say, Extract the person's Psyche from their living human body upon doing so. while the ending's drama comes from the game Now staying with the version of the protag who'd been our first person pov character prior to that "transfer," who is Again like "why am i still here" despite having the "it's not actually a transfer" explained, b/c This version Just So Happens to be the copy of the copy of the copy like simon(4) or (5) or whatever and ofc can't have been the one(s) already just left behind somewhere back there in the complex or he wouldn't have been able to be at that point in the first place. and then "killing" catherine b/c he's so pissed, i remember it as him hitting whatever device was her effective Soma, but the article i think suggested she just got too stressed in turn and that Output fried the device. while, of course, post credits shows us their "transferred" selves just fine chilling in the ark like whew glad all that's done with
anyways just getting around to the fact of how it's easy to land on catherine as the center of the game....and of course she's the one really Not having crises over [my god, copies of my Self] or others' selves or what all, having even less of a usual Soma than simon but rolling with it, and evidently having already fully absorbed her Self as a distinct version from her original Self, despite having the same links to her that make simon or anyone else who's been copied into whatever other Soma feel like he's continuously been Himself(tm), the one true Real Self he's always been....and like, naturally catherine being the one behind the entire project of [what if we copy/paste people's psyches into a big ol mmorpg server & shoot it into space so that Maybe something can happen with them / in a way they can continue to exist] so she's Been thinking of, you know, being separate from these Selves turned Others who you'll jettison into space beyond even the body of the earth. unless it's supposed to stay in orbit lol i do not remember the details....and ofc like plenty of other people are like wow that's Fucked Up or it's Not Us and like, the latter sure is true with with the [copying, not transferring] element, but also the former is more choose your own adventure (interpretation) when the game isn't about like, and the simulation Is fucked up, or there's any element of distress or dissonance to existing on the ark, though you can't really know that until the post credits scene confirms you're just hanging out for real....which, that article was also going in on the character who's on this quest to kill the WAU as like "the versions of us it makes isn't Real it's Corrupting" and like, arguably the WAU as just kind of, naturally, something capable of growing, and doing so, and the real problem seeming to come in with the [doing whatever for supposed safety but superceding/supplanting/displacing autonomy in doing so] like, people who did not agree to whatever was done re: their Somas or they would've remembered & been like yeah i'm hanging out as a robot now, or a goop guy, gunk [YES], etc. but separate from that obvious issue it's like, my guy, You're a copy made by the WAU now lol, you're your whole person that you are, with the thoughts & feelings to decide you wanna go on a quest to destroy it, and whatever capacity to pursue it....either way i think the game makes it clear enough the WAU is a Neutral force exercising no conscious discernment, it Is a body, or it's some body (once told me) anyways lol, though i guess i did just go "those Monsters that can chase you are just wau manifestations right" so that's getting kind of complex lol, but even that can be taken as, like, it Mimicking human's shapes & bipedality & other external characteristics, i guess, and just the way an overall theme can be [hmm where's that division between the soma and psyche, machine and ghost] the WAU has been expanding and making various forms of itself, and of humans, and that's also an element of the fisting that starts out as a fingering and can end with having to leave part of yourself in WAU's core if you have completed the choice to corrupt & destroy it, that Connection and Interfacing is required, with increasing [get it in there] required as well though there's no given clear in universe reason why (w/my theory here being: just the Themes of the increasing interaction / reducing Boundary)
where was i going with this. idk naturally there's people like "well you don't have to see the wau as evil or at least required to be destroyed" like yeah one can imagine the case for that, wherein again this one guy's hypothetically mad abt like oh it can't be Us it's making, like, brother in christ You are here as You are b/c of what wau did, if you don't think You're legitimate enough, how can you be dead set on pursuing any decision you make. but also the lack of autonomy wherein wau has (probably? again would have to rewatch) killed people to transfer them to a less fragile soma, but a) also maybe it's just acted when people were already dying / killed from other causes, and naturally there's the Everyone There Doomed To Die Fairly Imminently factor and b) that [wau's neutral / purely soma no psyche (or is it. etc)] aspect that is that classic mixup of wau just acting on its programming in a way unintended by its programmers re protecting life and c) i think WAU can sure be interpreted as a parallel counterpart to the ark project, where people agreed to the latter, & get to chill with simulated bodies in a simulated world, versus the WAU being that [body, world, realm of physical existence] which is funky & Not like a cool nice recreation of the usual world & is also at the bottom of the ocean, but it's sure trying to extend the existence of ppl's psyches by shoving them into whatever robots or slapping together parts or propping up their original body or what all, i don't remember that many of the characters encountered
Anyways Back To Catherine For Real. i'd forgotten this element completely, but that when catherine finds out her original self had been killed by crewmates (lol. amongst) for being set on carrying out the plan for the ark, Her Project, (i.e. launching it into space (risking that launch going incorrectly) vs keeping it on site at the bottom of the ocean here (theoretically less risky, according to at least the crewmate who killed her about her insisting on launching it anyways)) and catherine's copy / now alternate self comments on being like, a bit disappointed And surprised b/c like she says "i knew they didn't like me, but," like not thinking that dislike would lead to a semi accidental killing her (where apparently the guy who killed her may have been wearing the like powered diving suit w/the extra Strength to operate in the water pressure, like oh didn't mean to hit her That hard. in a different soma already) and seeing other ppl (not in universe) commenting on how it sure did seem to be culmination of like "the way others treated her" and how catherine always mentioned like, never having really had friends including as a crewmate here, being an Introvert....in fact, now i'm remembering that catherine doesn't even say "i knew they didn't like me, but" but rather something very close to "i know i'm not easy to like, but" like, aaaugh....like, as ever, a character or a Real Life Person sharing any particular info like "i'm [xyz]" Isn't Required for just trying to always not be ableist and to always treat other people as people even if they don't "just be normal" correctly enough, supposedly. rather than [what is "just being normal" is Correct & Good and you do Not need to undergo a continuous lifelong journey of in fact questioning this & navigating & learning how to communicate & interact & relate, you just need to fleetingly muster some superficial unhelpful Bonus efforts sometimes when you encounter the rare "exception" like someone who hands you their License To Autiste and you can let them keep their fidget cube and continue treating everyone you encounter ever organic aba style]....like, naturally in the game there's no twist where catherine turns out to be Evil or even antagonistic. she's like, patient, encouraging, friendly, helpful all throughout. she's also, ofc, simon's only guide (adding to the suspense of that [my god. my only guide was evil, and/or just my antagonist now anyways]) so he doesn't really get to pick someone he'd Like more. but that like, lifelong matter of why catherine doesn't Get to have had friends. that even as this professional associate she's treated differently, and worse, b/c you have to personally like someone & find them charming & je ne sais quoissy to Not be worse to them? it's fine to be shitty until catherine can, say, say "i've noticed you're being kind of shitty. it's probably b/c i'm autistic, officially, which i'm choosing to share with you & am now presenting my license about it, so maybe be cool about it" and then and only then go "oh ok" and Make The Exception rather than shifting your entire shitty Rule (they also would not actually really make the exception. "shoutout" too to the concept that, of course, it's actually Disrespectful to stop hating autistic ppl b/c you should treat them The Same as anyone else, and you're bringing that organic ABA all the time as part of your "just be normal" ethos life, so be sure to keep being an asshole to them & double empathy probleming putting all the depletion, extraction, punishment, losses, harms on them and all the rewards on yourself)
and like, catherine being killed b/c she was this Body who was going to take away the ark (her project / creation, which she was also just insisting on following what'd always been the plan for) wherein like, even if this guy didn't mean to kill her, he sure did after lashing out at her, same as happens w/simon in the end....and catherine also failing to be thee most "normal/default" version of a person as well by being a Woman, and probably not white either, and, of course, a nonwhite woman, also making her that much more vulnerable to being Out Of Line(tm) by just like, existing as a person & trying to do her shit, though misogyny, racism, orientalism or the like isn't explicitly invoked or especially implicitly hinted at that hard either, but it's like, how does this [scifi magical realism set in the not That distant future but material made in the way less distant past, i.e. all intents & purposes modern / current day of: in the 2010s] have Relevance beyond "would that be fucked up or what" type Invention that doesn't map on to our experiences at all....you don't Have to read into catherine twice being killed by a man who's lashing out b/c she's not delivering what he wants, but you sure don't Have to Not and be like "this is definitely No Misogyny world" like they're still being implicitly ableist b/c she's just not deemed Winsomely Likable enough, she's internalized that with that "i'm not easy to like" framing, why assume a premise of [misogyny is over] [racism is over] etc. whilest soma doesn't really proffer any scenario of like "oh if it weren't for our being able to perceive our designated Physical Differences in our human bodies, all that oppression would be over," that's not being explored even in the specific situation of its plot in the first place; people on the ark seem to have the simulation of the same bodies they originally did, ppl Can retain like, how they'd move, their voices, their sense of their bodies: elements of their physicality. and, you know, whether one even supposes there Is any meaningful body/mind division, though in soma it Is this premise like oh yeah we can digitize your psyche perfectly okay, such that your copy would experience no disruption in that Sense Of Selfness, which is what makes everything particularly like, whoah, and [wow this is just like soma] whenever something kind of invokes similar enough What Ifs but probably less engagingly lol....while also soma is flexible and spacious in letting you interpret shit, you Can defer from fisting wau to death, you don't have to be like "it's so true. thee horrors" abt the Copies Of Selves, who really just become Others to whatever now-other versions of that person, i.e. how catherine, who, as the person who wanted to scan copies of ppl's psyches & put them in a just chilling simulation server launched into space for the Chance of being copy/pasted elsewhere eventually and the chance for the participants to Exist in some form Now, and who did so, is never like, shocked or freaked out by the notion / reality of these copies' existence even though she didn't set out figuring any scans' uploads would end up on the ocean floor stations, she's not aghast & distressed in the end when after having uploaded her latest Self data to the ark & launched it, she's also Not on the ark and Still in the eventually / doomed ocean floor station, even if it's a bummer, b/c she has already just accepted That's How It Works....this [her] was not going to experience being Transferred, like she's Been saying, like she again tells simon while he's blowing up abt [why wasn't i transferred]....just clearly being an example of like, not everyone is like horrified and freaked out and like "that's fake &/or wrong" and you don't have to decide she's incorrect for being Like That, i.e. like, yep, this is the situation, i know there's the me who was killed and the me on the ark and the me here, and i know also we're also for intents and purposes separate people
all that is to say, like, yeah the Scifi What If specific [you can copy/paste your consciousness into a different soma] is there, but also you can be looking at it as just this like, pushing to thee limit of the Self(tm) and the Other(tm) insofar as imagining yourself, as the only Internality / Mind / Selfhood you have access to, as The One True Real Self and all Others as mere somas/bodies, whether you take that to as dehumanizing an extreme as you can or you just put some double standards on Others / treat them as lesser/less Real, or oh but just Sometimes, in Some Cases, which is fine and relevant to anything, rather than what's fine and relevant being to always be aware that everyone's Otherness is a matter of perspective, you're the Other to everyone else, everyone is just as The Self as everyone else, You Could Be That Other, that other Is [you] to themself, you are the "that could be you" to them....with soma, it can just be elevated to "that Other WAS you from 0.5 mmsec ago, and continues to be them, b/c they didn't experience any disruption in their existence, though now you're both in different situations of: different locations, different bodies, the awareness there's that Other Self over there now, possibly the difference of killing that self you were just copied from so you can go on feeling like the One Real Self"....but wherein like, that's just like, [What If: you Were able to wholly & accurately Know the self inside an Other? b/c it's you from 5 min ago] of like, scenarios like [what if you time traveled 5 min into the past] except wherein that case there's usually the efforts to Resolve(tm) the timeline of that One True Self one way or another, ultimately. or is there. obviously who's positing that soma is the only material to be About the "whoa lol. me as an other" concept made scifily literal or anything
anyways that like, it creates that situation wherein one Can point & go "literally literally me" but also simultaneously one Can go "that's Not literally me arrrgh" or "that's also Not literally me, matter of factly"....simon's wrangling with the Othering of his One True Self, but he can also Know, should he choose to shift to that perspective, that all the Others who aren't alternate copies of him are all Another True Selves, An Other True Self even, though ofc as per the nature of not having a collective consciousness, he Doesn't Know the accurate whole of their psyches b/c he was not ever [literally them], but he doesn't need to to know they're just as [a whole psyche in there] as his own have been. original catherine with her fellow original crewmates being othered enough by them for the dehumanization of treating her worse, her being isolated, that indeed her being killed doesn't feel separate from all that by her or by anyone else, just an escalated extreme final fatal manifestation of it, b/c nobody ever liked her in the first place and then she became a (psyche Piloting a) body getting in the way of what one guy with amplified strength at that moment wanted from the project she made to let others' psyches keep existing in some way, which was deemed valuable enough by that guy to want to commandeer it and keep it at the bottom of the ocean versus risk a launch, regardless of how you the player think of the idea
and thinking of the way you can like, effectively befriend that boxy underwater little propellered Regular Simple Robot Helper that follows you around at some point, that is, of course it can't talk to you, it's definitely Just(tm) this not-ever-a-version of a human robot for practical tasks (dyspeptical tasks, clerical tasks, hysterical tasks) and like, imagine Its interiority, get invested, try to protect it, humanize it regardless....whereas with actual humans, and their psyches in a microchip, you can kill them for not perfectly delivering whatever you wanted even when that's not what other humans ever exist to do. then simon loses the Company he still could've Gotten From catherine, [guy who killed original catherine] didn't succeed in keeping the ark unlaunched, b/c that's what you go and do....but really just thinking of that Thread that feels so extremely relevant of like, catherine copy being simon's only option sure and working With him on this mission until we stay with the edition of him who realizes it didn't lead to his escape onto the ark, i.e. always being in relation to him in a manner of a direct practical teamup & a [take it or leave it] sole option for that anyways....but that in her original, human-bodied life, she was always "oh only a little bit" dehumanized by everyone such that she is very much aware of the way that's defined & limited her life, never had friends, i know i'm difficult to like; until that dehumanization escalated to the extreme of trying to hit her to stop her from seeing her project through, and just happening to kill her, and the fact that this seems to no one just a coincidental whoopsie of a fate just entirely disconnected from the way others always saw her and treated her as this Other among others, while other [psyche/soma]s of others who are clearly not Your Self get to have friends and not be isolated and feel hard to like forever and end up killed by coworkers
tl;dr like love a text just inviting plenty of interpretations and lenses and perspectives, ofc gonna look at it like whoa it's anarchy in there (political cats sense) where are the borders where you are thee self above thee other....soma providing that thinnest boundary of like, yeah that mf over there? there but for the [being in a different body, in a different place, with 7 seconds of negligibly different life experience] go ye. but also the usual boundary of "that person is in a different body in a different place with a different whole life but you're [that] to them and they're just as much a person and a self and an other as you are" like catherine center of the game to me
(* just remembered i had these asterisks: sure enjoying how the premise of amnesia games effectively creates Alternate Selves b/w the protagonist's present self, with however much missing time, and past selves whose goings on are completely relevant to the in media res situation you're also tackling while obtaining pieces of that past to priovide further context/info, and how this premise manifests for different stories each time; you've even got oswald like physically divided into Two Selves in a:amfp, though iirc it's not like, psychically equivalent, kinda "regular oswald & nefarious destroy the world duplicitous oswald" lmao, classic....uhh and shoutout to penumbra being similar ish in that the protagonist's story isn't want's relevant, he's trying to find out what happened to his dad and more broadly the like underground pocket world he enters for those answers? iirc....but that soma shares that amnemonic premise of [intro] [suddenly like ???] [having to navigate your present mission & figure out the past & your Missing time] but like, thee respective Lores don't overlap really, soma obviously starts present day and takes an even more obvious leap into a future / completely different location, rather than amnesia games being set in the past with missing time of like, idk months? to even just days, uhh supposedly like [forever] in justine but that's like, i dunno sure lol, the peak mysterious / withheld protagonist really, on purpose. while naturally there's also the fact that, technically, this simon we are following at the start of the game did not actually forget anything, and that's a fun distinction despite that it otherwise initially seems like the same [amnesia] premise....and that he did kind of ""forget"" things in that original simon lived however much longer before dying, that his scan then ofc didn't retroactively include. so once again it's like, well, in amnesia ppl have likewise kind of rewound to a Past Self before the missing [crucial context to your in media res misadventure] time, w/daniel (and justine) even doing this On Purpose, though as is the nature of the amnesia series, everyone regains enough of that missing info about their goings on anyways, though you the player are Not in a story of like "wow they did Exactly the same thing again and ended up in the same place anyways" and Do get to kinda choose who they are / indeed end up with some Alternate Self, potentially, despite there being plenty of room wherein like, it's not precisely, granularly laid out Exactly Who They Are at any point anyways. only just now getting extra amnemonic lore that yes daniel got all fucked up on vitae rituals b/c that's just what happens! and people are fairly horny for it! always a possible interpretation that he was high on vitae (okay one proffered pronunciation of "curriculum vitae" (which i was like lord i feel like i've gone "what tf is that" about before but what tf is that. turns out it's what CV stands for as your specifically educational resumé) does say "vitae" would, in that case, rhyme with "nigh." other sources are listing like a million different combinations of a million different ways to pronounce each syllable. also they gotta say it a way in the game but i forget. daniel's VA apparently being some chemistry teacher? just like alchemy. not what the pope said to do, weird science, it's my creation....) anyways! the psyches diverge, the bodies don't, unless they do (oswald....uhh the guy in the bunker. lambert :( ) like catching up with The Self again, encountering extreme examples of Othering and Dehumanizing and [you are just like only a soma to me] with various means and ends of acting thusly to get xyz results
#uhh nominal tagging. i probably have nonzero soma posts...? maybe? lol#soma#amnesia#atdd#soma spoilers yeah but a) game's more than half a decade old at this point b) material that hinges on Surprising you the first time as like#thee sole worthwhile feature of its experience: probably not that good; i don't think soma's even dying to keep you from guessing any#''twists'' and if you Do it doesn't feel like you're like cheated of anything lol. though i'm sure the surprises are fun. the ending is sur#like yeah oh a fucked up surprise for the player too; but that's b/c the game of course Until Now followed the ''advancing'' simon copy#c) same as (b) but like spoilers don't really ruin things anyways imo. who is reading this in whole like ''damn i was Just gonna play this'#whereas idk now you know of it. also lbr who is reading this in whole period? probably some people lol. you do not have to ofc as a fact an#as a stance. i'm like; would i read someone's longass post abt something i don't already know abt / am not interested in? not often#d) if you Are like ''nooooo SOMA spoilers arrrgh i was Just abt to play it'' like damn my bad. i'm sorry. play it anyways it'll be fun#or e) watch a playthrough. i myself cannot Firsthand Game too much & this has generally been the case#long post ////#all this uncrucial and noncomprehensive but just taking 90k words & meandering tangents to say [hand over heart] catherine....#as is my mode of verbalizing anything really#i'll recommend the game easily enough; sure watched a full playthrough twice & may revisit for a thrice. or at least various clips lol#even got a safe mode (where you Can't Die so you can get through every part b/c thee story is the point anyways)
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lev1hei1chou · 3 months
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A What?
Gojo x reader Genre: Fluff Synopsis: You ask for a baby out of nowhere Masterlist Requests open!
"Hey, Satoru, I want a baby."
The man choked on his cereal. Milk splattered across the table, and he coughed, looking at you with wide, incredulous eyes. "You what?"
You grinned, loving his reaction. "I want a baby."
Gojo blinked, processing your words. "Like...a human baby? With diapers and all?"
You laughed. "Yes, Satoru, a human baby. Not a cursed spirit baby or a baby goat. A tiny human."
He leaned back in his chair, still stunned. "You can't just drop a bomb like that while I'm eating my Froot Loops, babe. Give a guy some warning."
You shrugged, leaning over to wipe a speck of milk off his cheek. "I thought you could handle anything."
"Yeah, curses and evil sorcerers, sure. But this...this is a whole new level of scary." He ran a hand through his white hair, making it stand up in more directions than usual. "Are you serious?"
"Dead serious." You sat down across from him, your expression softening. "I think we'd make great parents."
He looked at you, eyes softening. "Of course we would. I mean, look at us. We're awesome."
You snorted. "Modest, as always."
"Hey, it's not arrogance if it's true." He grinned, then grew serious again. "But...a baby? That's a big deal."
"I know. But I want to start a family with you, Satoru."
He was silent for a moment, then his lips curved into a smile. "Okay. Let's do it."
You blinked. "Really? Just like that?"
He shrugged. "Why not? I've always wanted kids. Didn't think about it too much because, you know, job hazards and all. But if you want a baby, then I want a baby. Simple as that."
You laughed, feeling a wave of relief and excitement. "Simple as that, huh?"
"Yep." He stood up, suddenly energized. "Alright, let's make a baby right now."
Your eyes widened. "Satoru, we can't just...it's the middle of the day!"
"Details, details." He waved a hand dismissively. "I'm the strongest sorcerer in the world. I can make time for baby-making."
You couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm. "How romantic."
He waggled his eyebrows. "Oh, I can be romantic. Just you wait."
The next few days were filled with Gojo's attempts at being "romantic." You came home to rose petals scattered all over the living room (which the cat was now batting around), a candlelit dinner (where he nearly set the kitchen on fire), and a bubble bath for two (where he splashed so much water that the bathroom flooded).
"You're really trying, aren't you?" you said, toweling off your hair after the bath fiasco.
He pouted. "I'm trying to set the mood."
You kissed his cheek. "I appreciate it, Satoru. But we don't need all this. Just you and me, together. That's enough."
He smiled, pulling you into his arms. "You're right. As always."
That night, lying in bed, he turned to you with a mischievous look in his eye. "So, about that baby..."
You laughed, swatting his chest. "Okay, okay. Let's do this."
A few weeks later, you found yourself holding a pregnancy test in your hand, heart pounding. Gojo was pacing back and forth in the bathroom, looking more nervous than you'd ever seen him.
"Okay, okay, okay," he muttered. "It's fine. Whatever it says, it's fine."
You glanced at the test, then at him. "Satoru, you need to calm down."
He stopped pacing and looked at you, taking a deep breath. "Right. Calm. I can do calm."
You held up the test, a smile spreading across your face. "We're having a baby."
For a moment, he just stared at you, then he whooped, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around. "We're having a baby! I'm gonna be a dad!"
You laughed, holding onto him. "Yes, you are. And you're going to be amazing."
He set you down, his eyes shining. "We're going to be amazing."
Months passed in a whirlwind of doctor's appointments, baby shopping, and Gojo's over-the-top preparations. He baby-proofed the house, even the ceiling, "just in case the baby is super strong and starts climbing walls."
"Satoru, that's ridiculous," you said, watching as he padded the corners of the coffee table with foam.
He looked up at you, serious. "Safety first, babe."
When the day finally came, Gojo was more nervous than you. He held your hand in the delivery room, eyes wide as he watched the process.
"You're doing great," he whispered, though it seemed like he was saying it more to himself than to you.
Hours later, when the baby finally arrived, Gojo stared at the tiny bundle in his arms, tears in his eyes. "Hi there, little one. I'm your dad."
You smiled, exhausted but happy. "And I'm your mom."
He looked at you, his expression full of love and awe. "We did it."
You nodded, feeling a surge of emotion. "Yeah, we did."
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ashherahh · 19 days
Text
how your future partner matches your freak +18
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Note: Please take it if it resonates, leave it if it doesn't. Meditate before making your decision. It's completely okay if you don't resonate with this reading. The collective is huge and I'm sure you'll receive the messages you need in due time.
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pile 1
Cards: Page of Wands Rx, Seven of Pentacles, Three of Swords Rx, Two of Wands. BOD: King of Swords Rx
Um, dunno how to put this but you two teach each other. Getting to that point of knowing each other intimately takes proper communication and lots of consistency. The two of you do not shy away from that. You just see it as a challenge to overcome, and you like challenges.
Carnal desires much?
The attraction is there, as I'm seeing your relationship eventually develops into one which leaves both of you quite satisfied. So, strongly picking up on the energy of someone who is so accustomed to reaching orgasm by themselves that when they have a partner they are a bit...selfish in bed.
Yeah... They haven't had sex in a hot minute so they struggle to last the first few times or they take a while to orgasm. It's quite common, actually.
Eventually, with practice comes improvement. Not everyone is a sex god immediately their first time, so you two are pretty patient with each other. Learning your likes and dislikes, you cultivate your intimacy (which should always be the case, but some couples just click).
You do click with your partner in every other aspect of your life, but sex is the one you both work on together. You're a bit awkward with it, but oh so eager. This energy is so cute, I dunno how else to describe it. There's a curious excitement to it.
Sex is also pretty frequent, like really frequent. A lot. You two have a lot of sex. I'm not seeing major power plays, you're pretty much are comfortable switching roles and you're definitely open to trying out as many positions and toys and roleplaying to see what works for you.
This is such a nasty group. I'm blushing. You both seek each other out. There's no demure, there's no mindful but there's a lot of dropping the draws on sight. There is little restraint.
pile 2
Cards: Two of Cups, The Moon, Queen of Swords Rx, Ten of Cups Rx. BOD: Knight of Swords
Someone is going to cry during sex. There will be tears. Composure for who? What is that? When you are intimate with them, it's like you lose your mind. You don't even know what you're saying, you just be saying stuff. Both of you actually. I'm seeing your partner making promises and you just doing the same thing.
Really, y'all? Really? You both whisper sweet nothings to each other.
Your partner likes to run their mouth during the act. They talk you through it. They know what their words do to you. You're the kind of couple who ends up using sex to voice things, like you leave it all out on the floor. Or should I say bed. Actually, you do it whenever you want. Exhibitionistic individuals.
Emotions run high in this pairing. Sex is an almost lethargic act for the two of you. It's like your chakras open up, and it's addictive. You really can't get enough of each other. Angry sex, all kinds of sex. You use it to process feelings, not intentionally, it really just happens with the two of you.
I'm seeing that you knew you connected well emotionally, but I'm not seeing that either of you were expecting to literally unravel when together. That's exactly what sex feels like with your future partner, like there are layers being stripped away and it's just you two feeling what you need to feel through the act.
You two go deep together.
pile 3
Cards: Queen of Wands, King of Swords, Three of Cups, The Lovers. BOD: The Magician
Power dynamics are a thing with you two. Both of you have strong personalities and are quite dominant in nature. So, it's all about seeing who's going to gain the upper hand.
There's a feeling of having met your perfect match. Previous partners just didn't seem to scratch that itch you two had. Sex was good but not mind blowing and not nearly what you were actually craving.
You both want someone who "earns" you in a way. Like, not everyone deserves you. Not everyone deserves to see either of you come undone. Not everyone is worthy of it. This future partner, they go the extra mile. They don't back down, they don't shy away. You don't scare them, your desires entice them. It's vice versa.
There's a mutual giving, a mutual respect and flow of energy. You recognize that they are someone who will be able to match you in everyway, they are someone who is able to satisfy you, and you them.
Libidos are highhhhhh.
You two worship each other. This pairing adores every inch of each other. If you are shy about any part of yourself, that goes out of the window. They make you feel like you are the most precious person on earth, and you are to them.
I'm seeing that sex is treated with a lot of respect and trust. You two really let yourself go with one another. There's no holding back, no masks in place, no feeling like you're too much.
It feels like heaven with them.
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luveline · 1 year
Note
I am so incredibly sick rn and desperately craving some Hotch comfort—maybe bau!gf who desperately tries to hide the fact that she’s sick even when she’s burning up and can’t keep her eyes open, and Hotch who just wants to take care of her!!
thank you for your request! i hope you feel better soon. —hotch fights to take care of you when you hide a fever. fem!reader, 1.4k
Spencer knows you're sick, but he's the only one who's figured it out so far. Everybody else is too busy. 
He pushes your coffee toward him and exchanges it for a cup of water without saying anything. You're relieved to find it's ice cold, fighting to drink it without spilling it, or worse, pressing it to your furnace of a forehead. 
"Just go home," he says. 
"I like it here," you say lightly.
"You're fatigued, obviously running a fever, and probably disoriented if your eyes are anything to go off of." 
"Are they?" you ask, eyes fluttering closed. 
You prop yourself on your hand. Having a desk right next to Spencer has its ups and downs. Ups including physics magic, surprise trinkets, and all the donuts you can eat. Downs include this —he's too good at his job but bad at taking a hint, so while he's realised that you're sick and tired and should probably head home, he hasn't stopped to think you might be keeping it a secret for a reason. 
If you take more sick leave already after your week long bout of food poisoning only a fortnight ago, it will look like you're trying to take advantage of Hotch. You don't want the team thinking you're cheating and you don't want Hotch to think this is how it’s going to be. You’d never use him like that, but it’s so early into the relationship that there’s no way for him to know that for sure. 
You take a measured breath. You're the kind of sick that yearns for bed, head heavy, a pounding pain behind your eyebrows and a nose you can't breathe through. Your lips are chapped despite the thick layer of balm you applied that morning. The weight of a bowling ball rests in your sinuses. Your head begins to list forward. 
"Y/N?" 
You look up, rubbing your forehead as nonchalantly as you can manage. Hotch stands with a hand on the railing of his half-platform, eyebrows pulled together as they tend to be. 
You like the sound of your name on his lips, even if it's said with question. 
"Yeah?" you ask. 
Before, it would've been, Yes, sir? But Hotch told you (while in boyfriend mode, assumedly) that it makes him hot around the collar (though he'd said it more delicately), so now you save it for special occasions, like when you want to get your way, and when he looks especially perturbed.
"Something wrong?" he asks. 
He can't like the way you say, "I'm fine," maybe he spots the far-away look in your eyes, your poorly concealed wince as your head throbs, maybe he just knows you. He gives you a look bordering reproachful and turns away. 
"My office," he says.  
Spencer sends you a pointed look. When he realises you aren't awake enough to glare back, he nudges you encouragingly. "Be honest," Spencer says. 
You almost fall up the short steps to the landing in front of Hotch's office. You don't knock before entering, and later you'll realise how odd this is. Hotch hasn't even sat down, instead straightening a paper from the wrong side of the desk. 
"What's wrong? Another migraine?" he asks. 
"No. I'm alright, did you want something?" 
He turns around fully. You like seeing him after hours without his suit, arms behind his tired neck and eyes half-lidded, but this look is just as good on him: furrowed brows, a hand twitching toward you but not touching. He tries not to cross the line here at work because when it starts it never ends. Your evaluations have to be cross examined and approved by a higher up, you are not permitted to room together on cases, and you have to report to HR every three to six weeks to reaffirm that Hotch isn't being coercive. It's odd and invasive at times, but these are things you have to do to be together. You'd do worse. 
"Did I want something?" he asks. It's more patient than incredulous, but the incredulity is definitely there. 
"From me?" 
"I want lots of things from you." He breaks eye contact with you and turns back to his things, shuffling papers into a manila folder. You blink dozily, wanting a hug and needing him to let you go back to your desk lest you give in and lean against his broad chest. "Like for you to take care of yourself." 
"I'm fine." 
"Forgive me if this is something I shouldn't say, but you don't look okay. You look sick." 
You summon your most convincing smile even while his back is turned and enthuse your tone with some practised pep. "Well, it's not the most romantic thing in the world." 
He ties the cord on his manilla envelope and clicks open his briefcase. It's a testament to how sick you are that you didn't notice it there, nor his coat thrown over the edge of the desk. 
"You going somewhere?" you ask curiously. 
"I'm taking you home, honey." 
You shake your head. "No, you're not. I'm fine." 
Hotch puts his coat on regardless. Briefcase closed and in hand, he walks the short distance to you and scans your expression for any give. "Let's go home." 
"Hotch–" 
"Home," he says, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "No more 'Hotch'." 
You take a step back but not one more than that, startled by his readiness to leave, and his reluctance to believe you. You're a bad actor and he's trained in the art of untangling deception —it isn't going to work. You give it a valiant effort. 
"You don't have the resources to give me the day off. You definitely don't have the resources to take a day off with me, and that's fine because I'm not sick." You rub your face clean, dust off your work blouse. "I have a headache, it's not so bad." 
Hotch actually smiles, then. You worked for him for three months before you realised he could. It isn't what you're expecting. It disarms you.
"Liar," he says, ducking down to give you a kiss. He sounds amused and sorry at once, an impossible combination marked by his small smile and his protective hand at your elbow. 
Every kiss is like a shock. Not because Hotch is particularly abrasive to the senses, the opposite —it feels right. 
"I'm not lying," you say.
"Take the day off with me, then." 
He knows he's being a bit of a bastard, evidenced by his smile, but he sobers for your sake. "You're lying to me, but that's not what matters. I can feel your head like a flame and I'm not even touching it. And you've kept your secret well, honey, but Reid's a good friend." 
"What did he tell you?" you murmur. 
"You fell asleep for sixteen seconds." 
"When?" you ask in disbelief.
"A couple of minutes before I called for you." Hotch squeezes your arm. 
"If we go home you'll have so much work to do when we come back," you lament. 
"It'll be the same as any other day," he says. He's slipped into his most dulcet tone, the kind he uses with family. "I am… desperate, to take care of you. I can't do that here. Please oblige me and let me do it at home." 
"Oblige you?" you ask. 
"Being your boyfriend isn't working. I thought I would try boss instead." 
You relent, finally. You genuinely can't abstain from him anymore, not when he's being as ridiculously charming and gentle as he is, his hand steadying at your elbow. Plus, your brain is probably gonna explode inside of your skull any second now if your headache is anything to go by. You drop your face into his chest and sigh, relieved when his hand moves to your shoulder, and his cheek presses to the top of your head. 
"This is inappropriate," you mumble. 
"You're really not well, hm?" he asks, just as quietly. "I'd be negligent if I didn't take notice. Doubly negligent if I didn't take you home." 
"Human resources…" You mean to say more. He's solid, he wants to hug you, and he smells like his expensive cologne. Hotch has a presence about him that's automatically comforting once you overcome the intimidating. Sometimes, even, the intimidating helps it along. You feel sheltered by his arms. Totally safe. It's probably why you nearly pass out in his embrace right there and then. 
"Okay," he says, rubbing your back. "Alright. I'll let human resources know your complaint, honey, don't worry. Let's get you to the car." 
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bokutosbabe · 2 months
Text
Now I'm Covered In You
(bllk boys as boyfriends)
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a / n — thought making another post in this form would be fun, so i hope you enjoy!
content — bllk characters x reader, gn! reader, pet names used in a few parts, sadly canon otoya i fear, misspelled words are there for a reason i swear, cheater! otoya and oliver, some characters repeated, lmk if i missed anything!
synopsis — bllk boys and what type of boyfriend they'd be
✿.。. “ how's one to know? ” .。.✿
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—The Romantic One
is always planning surprises for you, and i mean always. there's not a single week where you aren't being taken on 'adventures' that always lead you to a different restaurant.
what's the point in having all this money and not spending it on you?
they are constantly writing you love letters and poems. well, they try to anyway. they're not the best with their words and with many spelling mistakes, rather liking to show with actions, but they tried for you.
usually their poems end up something like this
' roses are red
so is my heart
my darling
my deer
my sweet buttercup
you taste just like a
tasty soda pop '
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ ISAGI YOICHI, shido ryusei, jyubei aryu, ALEXIS NESS
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— The Player
you know the famous saying, "how you get them is how you lose them?" yeah that's exactly how this relationship is.
you'd been one of their many side quests while they had a relationship going on. eventually after they'd ended said relationship, they'd chose you as their next partner.
they do spoil you with many gifts, mostly after you catch them cheating on you for the umpteenth time, but you stayed because they 'loved you'
sure they told you they loved you, but that wasn't really the case when they'd broken up with you because you were 'boring' them.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ OTOYA EITA, oliver aiku
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— The Protector
is constantly worrying about you and is looking out for your safety.
with them being this 'big bad' soccer player, many people refuses to even look you in the eyes when you were with them. but if someone dared to hit on you when they walk off for a second? please pray for them.
some guy could be asking you for directions and he'd come up behind you and wrap an arm around you without even uttering a word. you didn't have to look at them to know the look they were giving the man was nothing but deadly.
some may call it controlling, but you knew them, they just wanted to keep you safe from all these men.
you had him, who else would you need?
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ KUNIGAMI RENSUKE, rin itoshi, SHOEI BARO, tabito karasu
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— The Funny (insane) One
is constantly making jokes- some that aren't funny - but you laugh anyways.
everyone always asks you how your relationship is doing so well, and the answer is always, " i don't know," because you genuinely don't. yes, the two of you get into arguments, and sometimes the two of you get heated enough to have to take time apart from each other, but you always come back together.
how?
because they always forget what the fight was even about and come back into your space to show you some cat meme they believe you would like.
and the two of you laugh until you feel better again.
maybe you don't know how your relationship is so healthy, but you know why you're happy.
because they take the time to make you laugh.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ BACHIRA MEGURU, RYUSEI SHIDO, gin gagamaru, seishiro nagi
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— The Traditional One
dates. Dates. DATES!!
they took you on soooo many dates before officially asking you to be their partner.
they definitely give the vibes of "my mom taught me i needed to..."
just the best gentleman!
you need to step over a puddle? they're putting their jacket down over it for you (it wasn't necessary, but they insisted on it)
you talked about wanting to see a movie once? he's already bought the tickets.
if you get married? he's insisting you stay home
" a pretty face like you doesn't need to work, i'll provide us everything." in his words
will do anything for you, really.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ YUKIMIYA KENYU, michael kaiser (pls ignore the mom part), REO MIKAGE, oliver aiku (again)
✿.。. “ i'd meet you where the spirit meets the bone ” .。.✿
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likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!!
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iiwaijime · 1 month
Text
DESTINY — O. MIYA
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cws; swearing, gn?reader, just fluff...!
wc; 713
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osamu miya.
he's the type to cook for you, always. like, regardless of how well you can cook, or how different your schedules are.
"what time will you be up?" he asks.
"6:15."
and he'll be there cooking your breakfast already.
that's not to say you don't experience lazy mornings, either, when osamu has his arms wrapped loosely around you, and your legs are tangled together. when sometimes you talk about everything, and other times you talk about nothing, and he kisses your shoulder and you kiss his hands. he's warm, too, warm enough that you're kicking the covers off yourself and scooting away from him once you're awake enough. he's undeterred, though, following you around like a determined puppy until you finally give in and let him pull you back into his chest.
he's the type to absolutely smush your cheeks together when he kisses them; he definitely loves kissing your cheeks. he also loves nose kisses!!! he adores your nose — your everything, really, he just loves you a lot.
he loves chauffeuring you around, like hell YEAH he's your man and he will do everything for you. on slower days, he probably like, drives with one hand and uses the other to hold on to your hand or just rests it on your thigh.
speaking of which! this man is HUGE on physical contact. it's nothing too showy, and it doesn't really matter if you're in public or not. like, he ALWAYS holds your hand, everywhere! or has a pinky hooked around yours if you can't do that! OR OR OR when it's cold, he holds your hand and tucks it into his pocket along with his own.
adding onto the when will you wake up thing, when the two of you didn't live together he'd make sure he was awake before you so you could see a good morning text when you woke up, whether you woke up super early or super late.
when osamu falls in love, he falls so fucking hard. this man gets you flowers and keeps one for himself so he knows when to get you new ones. he buys you coffee every day and has a picture of you in his wallet, and a polaroid in his phone case. when you start living together, he writes you stupid lovey dovey notes and sticks them around everywhere. he even does the notes app thing and he knows everything you like. his wallpaper and lockscreen are both pictures of you, and he unironically has an i love my partner tshirt. probably more than one, if i'm being honest.
he lazes around in bed with you when you want, and has all your favourite movies downloaded everywhere, just in case. want to watch a new movie? he's bought the tickets before you even ask. he takes you to libraries and bookstores, and he dances with you in the rain, and goes on walks with you, and he's just so perfect, even when he's not. and he thinks — no, he knows you're perfect, even if you think otherwise.
he's SO good at comforting you. if you don't want to talk, that's okay! he'll hold you until you feel better, or until you're ready to tell him. or he can distract you with the stupidest small talk, if that's what you need. and he knows exactly what to say, always. he understands you, in silence and frustration and grief and pain. when you're okay, and when you're not. and whatever happens, he's always there for you.
and he's not a poet, and all he really knows is volleyball and cooking, but he swears you're some sort of wizard, because everything you do and everything you say is magic, and he's never been more enamoured by anyone, ever. if love is a person, it's you.
he's never believed in soulmates, but he knows he's made for you, made to love you, made to be yours. he's never really believed in things like fate either, but if he's destined to spend the rest of his life like this, with you, he thinks he could learn to live with it. but that's a lie, really, because he's not just okay with it. he's actually so fucking down to have you as his forever.
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WSG UR FAVOURITE ACADEMIC WEAPON WITH THE COOLEST CHILLEST MOM EVER HAS POSTED rubs hands together evilly PLEASE LIKE FOLLOW REBLOG AND OR COMMENT IF YOU LIKE IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME!!!
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i-cant-sing · 9 months
Note
I can’t get this scenario out of my head with yan!batfamily in which Bruce worms his way into a depressed reader’s life by marrying their mother and slowly taking over the role of parenting reader while dealing with the depression.
No because Bruce would do that. In his head, its just another mission to "save Y/n" and sure, your mother isn't exactly his type, and your depression isn't exactly her fault- the poor woman just works day and night for you both to survive in this outrageous economy, she doesn't have had enough time to see you not doing so well mentally.
Bruce and his sons, by whatever sequence of events, are now infatuated with you. What started as concern for your well being has now turned into obsessive need to control your life to make it better. So, yeah... Bruce decides to marry your mom, who is more than happy to finally find a chivalrous, handsome man... who just happens to also be very rich.
Meanwhile, you hate him. It's stupid, but you hate how filthy rich he is and even though you know that he donates a lot to charities, you still hate him because Bruce thinks money can solve everything (and in your case, it almost can), but you can't help but feel insulted everytime he offers you a cheque, a wad of cash to pay off your bills and loans, or even a $20 bill to get yourself some snacks. It feels... abnormal. You're not a charity case.
Perhaps your socioeconomic status isn't the only reason you're depressed. Maybe it's just you missing your father (could be dead/murdered/suicide/just moved far far away).
The moment Bruce finds out that your dad is the reason why you're so depressed, oh it's "I WILL FATHER ANOTHER CHILD IN NEED OF PROFESSIONAL HELP" time. He's doubling down on his paternal instincts and he's just mentally smacking himself like "ofc you need a father figure in your life. Who better than me????"
And it just makes your skin crawl at how nonchalant Bruce is about all this- about incorporating himself into your and your mother's life. Treating you both, especially you like you're actually related. Like he's been around with you two his entire life. You lose your appetite when he stays for dinner, but you sit at the table for your mother. You try to make excuses when your mother tells you that you have to go with her at the Wayne Manor because "Bruce wants to spend a day with family". You can't help but look at your mother in wonder at how she is comfortable when you both pull up at the manor. You thought things would be easier if Bruce's sons were also uncomfortable or even hated you and your mother (or thought that your mom was a gold digger), but no, they're just as worse as Bruce. Dick being particularly the worst in the sense that he's more affectionate and his love language is physical touch, so you get squished to his chest everytime he sees you, with a small cry "my baby!" Sometimes, "sis" would be added.
You didn't like either nickname.
Then there's Jason, who is the most normal one of them all, perhaps because he isn't around much and when he is, he just makes small talk.
Tim doesn't talk much either, but he stares a lot. Somehow you feel like he knows something about you, at least more than he's letting on.
And lastly, there's Damian, that pompous little shit. You know he's being amicable for Bruce, but his eyes look at you like he's judging you- thinks you're beneath him. Which is true, in the sense of finance. Despite all of that, Damian still wants to show you off his interests/things around the manor. He's still being arrogant ofc, "Look at this oil painting- it's a Van Gogh original. Van Gogh is a famous painter- he's dead though. I'm sure you aren't familiar with his works. I can take you to the Gotham gallery to show you more paintings. Father owns it, so it can be just us two without other people bothering us." He's nice but also not nice. But at least he's not doing it intentionally.
Then there's Bruce. Who is always looking at you with a small smile, but his eyes are always analysing you, even when he's not looking at you directly, you know that he's watching your every move like a hawk. He tries spending time with you, often he succeeds, only because your mother makes you go. He's a good man, hasn't done anything exactly inappropriate, but... even something as small as making you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk so that you're safe from the cars... it doesn't sit right with you. Why is he being so paternal? You certainly have been rude to him on purpose. Always giving him one word answers when he asks you how your day was.
Then one day your mother returns home with a beaming smile.
"Bruce proposed to me! We're getting married!"
After only 3 months of dating? It's what you wanted to say, but you held it back when you saw how happy she was.
The next day, Bruce held a dinner at the manor to celebrate the engagement. Surprisingly, that was the first time you saw Damian looking mad at you and your mom.
It was a reasonable reaction. Acceptable to you, instead of the overly excited yell of Dick "WE'RE GOING TO BE SIBLINGS! That means we can have slumber parties and pillow fights and-"
Your mother and Bruce were shopping for the wedding, looking at dresses and venues and all the shenanigans while you were at the manor, moving your and your mom's stuff in with the boys. It was the last thing you wanted, but your mother.... she insisted on it. Or at least that's what she says, you know Bruce insisted.
Doesn't matter because by next year, you'd be moving away to college anyways.
You just need to put up with this for a little longer and see your mother finally be happy.
You didn't expect your mother to be dead a week before the wedding.
It was out of the blue. You were sitting in the library at the manor because Dick refused to let you be alone in your room all the time, so he was making you some cookies while you read. Then he and Bruce came together, their faces pale as they looked at you.
"Y/n... your mother, she... she got in an accident."
She was driving to some restaurant, wanted to get you your favourite fried chicken and spend some time with you alone. But on her way, a truck crashed right into her car.
She died on the spot.
Whatever little improvement you had on your mental health went straight down the drain. You locked yourself in your room and just cried quietly. They left you alone the first few days, but then Bruce and Dick tried to persuade you to come out, that they were concerned for you. You did come out the day the funeral was held. And it hurt you... it hurt you so deeply when you found out they were burying her at the Wayne cemetery.
She wasn't a fucking Wayne.
If you had any strength, if you had any energy at all, you would've taken your mother and buried her someplace else.
But you didn't.
When you returned inside the manor, you went straight to your mother's room, which was also Bruce's room but you didn't care if he saw you in there or not. You just started packing all of your mother's stuff, her clothes, her jewellery, her photos, everything she came here with, which wasn't much to begin with but still.
"Y/n?" You stiffened when Bruce called you, but you didn't pause on packing. "What are you doing? Looking for something?"
You sighed. Might as well get this over with.
You turnd around, not looking him in the eye.
"I'm moving out. And I'm taking mom's stuff with me. You can check, I'm not stealing anything that belongs to you."
Bruce looked at you in confusion. "Moving out? Where are you going?"
"College. I'll be going there soon anyways, so I'm moving to an apartment with some friends."
"Oh, but you don't need to move out. You can stay with us. Youre family-" you cut him off.
"Bruce, let's not." You finally look at him. "We're not family. I never was, I never wanted to be. Mom's gone now, and I have no reason or desire to be here. Thank you for letting me stay here for as long as you have, but I will be moving out by tomorrow, if not tonight." You said picking up your mother's bag of stuff and walking out of the room. Bruce followed you to your room.
"But I don't want you to move-"
You dropped the bags. "I don't care what you want!"
Bruce looked at you with his brows furrowed. He didn't get why you were acting like this. Your yelling had gotten the attention of the boys too, all looking in confusion at the bags.
"I don't want to be a part of this family. I never have, and I never will. I never liked you or anyone in this family. And if you're concerned about me speaking to the media about you guys, don't worry. If it helps you, you can make me sign an NDA!"
Damian narrowed his eyes at you. "Dont talk to father like-"
"Shut up!" You yelled harshly. You didn't care who you were hurting. Your mother was gone, you had no reason to be amicable to them anymore.
-
They left you alone that day, and by the next morning, you were ready to leave. At 6 am, you walked down to the main door, with your bags. You weren't expecting them all to be waiting for you, but here they were. You took a step towards the door, but Dick stopped you.
He cleared his throat. "Um, this is the NDA... if you'd just sign it here." He handed you the papers.
Unbelievable. They actually drew up a contract. You took the pen from his hand and signed at the dotted lines.
"Bye." You took another step, except Damian and Tim blocked your path.
"What now?"
"Where are you going?" Tim asked.
"Do we have to go over this again?" You grumbled. "College." You answered.
"You can't." Damian said smugly. What's he smirking for?
"You're gonna break my legs?" You scoffed.
"No, you just signed a document saying that you're a part of this family, and Bruce Wayne is your guardian and has authority over all decisions concerning you like going to college, or even... going out of the house." Damian replied.
You looked at Bruce, because there's no way Damian is being serious. But there were no signs of joking. You looked at Dick, at Jason-
They were all dead serious.
"You cant- you can't be- you can't keep me here." You said.
"You signed the documents. It's your fault for not reading them." Tim said.
"Bruce-"
"I really do believe that it'd be better for you to stay here." Bruce said, taking ahold of your shoulders. "At least until you're doing better mentally."
"I'm fine-"
"I don't think so. And I could even take you to a psychiatrist, they'd agree with me." Bruce cupped your cheek as you flinched away. "You'd be happy here. I promise you that, you'll be safe and happy with us."
You'd try fighting, but you already knew you were outnumbered.
Besides, even if you weren't, even if you were alone with the smallest one of them, you still wouldn't be able to leave. You have no idea what Damian is capable of.
After all, he's the one who had your mother killed.
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resu-w-ana · 3 months
Text
Merlin noticed it soon after the magic ban was lifted.
Every time someone used magic around Arthur, the king flinched.
Really, Merlin wasn't expecting Arthur to embrace all magic users with love and trust. He really shouldn't do something stupid like that.
He wasn't sure if Arthur knew about his own reaction or not. It hurt nonetheless.
Constant paranoia and perspective to be burned alive took the best of his desire to show people his magical talents. But the freedom was intoxicating, and whatever Arthur was afraid of magic or not, he would never took it's freedom again.
He had enough work as newly appointed Court Sorcerer to not let his magic idle. The knight and Gwen were here to enjoy pretty tricks too.
So Merlin reduced his magic around the king to doing only necessary things.
Making Arthur comfortable were more important than Merlin's desire to enjoy the beauty of magic with his king.
But the problem accrued from where he least expected.
«Why won't you use magic?»
«I- Ehm, It's possible to do without magic just as easy.»
«I saw you moving dinner plate because you were to lazy to stretch yesterday.»
«I thought I was alone! How do you even know that? Were you spying on me?»
«Oh, come on, Merlin. As if you are that interesting. Doors were open, I was just passing by.»
Even if doors were open, Arthur couldn't accidentally catch him, considering the fact, that there was only one way to Merlin's tower.
Arthur's weird explanation aside, the crisis was averted.
Or so Merlin thought. Because Arthur hadn't stopped.
Every time Merlin did something remotely hard by his hand, Arthur asked the same question: «why won't you use magic?»
Now Merlin was the one running out of weird explanations.
He had no desire to explain his reasoning to Arthur, nor asking Arthur for something he clearly wasn't comfortable with.
Merlin even paid attention to king behaviour around magic more precisely, in case it had changed. But no, the flinching was still there.
Contradicting his own reaction, Arthur cornered him with more determination them ever before.
«So tell me, why knights have no idea about yours so called "proper use of magic".»
«Well... They do know very little about proper use of anything. Especially Gwaine.»
«Yeah, Gwaine, who's apple your turned from green to red because he wished for another variety.»
«I-, Merlin started, as Arthur continued:
«Or should I mention fire figures you do for Leon constantly? The story about Lance's and Gwen's dinner table? Gaius' flying potions?"
Merlin felt guilt creeping onto him.
«Do I need to continue? Because I'm cer–»
«No! No! I got your point!»
«So?»
«So...»
«Explain yourself.»
When Merlin still hesitated, Arthur decided to use lethal weapon: «you promised no more secrets.»
Merlin deflated. «It's not a secret.»
«Then tell me.»
«I've noticed you've tensed whatever magic was around. Decided to spare you the trouble.»
«Oh.»
Suddenly, Arthur wasn't angry anymore. He looked sad and... Guilty?
«It's okay» and «I'm sorry» they said at the same time, than stared at each other.
«You have nothing to be sorry for!» Merlin argued.
«It's not nothing and it's not okay!» Arthur replied.
«That's why I didn't want to tell you! Now you feel like you're doing something wrong or not enough or whatever!»
«Well, that's because I do!»
«No, you're not!»
Arthur sighed. «Look, Merlin... You're not wrong, magic does make me nervous. For all my life, every time someone used it, it was with intention to hurt me.»
He stopped, thinking about his next words. «You are an exception. Yours feel safe.»
«Safe?»
«I don't know how to describe it. It feels warm and... safe. I like it. And I like watching you do magic, too.»
«Oh.»
«Yeah.»
«I'm sorry.»
Arthur smiled. «You can repent your crimes by stopping hiding your magic from me,» he said in playfully serious tone.
Merlin smirked. «Of corse, sire. What would you like to watch now?»
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weird-is-life · 2 months
Note
If you're open to aaron hotchner x reader requests, what about being a consultant/detective etc and Hotch has an obvious crush and trying to play it cool? Maybe with the team noticing but reader is totally oblivious! Thanks
Hiii, lovely!🥰 I'm soo sorry that it took me so long..... hope this is okay. Warnings: fluff, mentions of food, Derek being a wingman, (1k)
Aaron is staring. And he doesn't even realise it. You are standing just across the room chatting with JJ, and Aaron can't keep his eyes off of you.
He doesn't know what's happening to him. He hasn't felt this way in a long long time. He can't even remember the last time he wanted to ask someone out.
There's an attempt to stifle a laugh behind Aaron, and he doesn't even need to turn around to know it's Derek.
"What?" Aaron asks bitely, frowning at Derek in his usual way.
"Nothing," Derek puts his hands up, but the stupid smirk stays on his face. "Nothing, just that you should ask her out."
Aaron doesn't react immediately, not wanting to out himself. He tries to play it cool (too late for that), "ask who out?"
Derek laughs again," C'mon, Hotch. You're not really being discreet about it."
Aaron just glares at him in warning. He doesn't feel like having this conversation with him, like at all. Aaron doesn't even want to admit these feelings to himself let alone Derek.
"You really should, Hotch. It would be good for you. And she obviously likes you too," your red cheeks around Hotch, and the stolen glances tell Derek enough of your feelings towards Aaron.
"Thank you for you suggestion, Derek. But I don't think you're right about it," Aaron tells him, not wanting to get his hopes up.
"No Hotch, you are wrong about it." Derek says, and pats him on the back, ready to leave Aaron be.
Aaron turns back to the paperwork that he definitely should be filling out instead of looking at you. The case is over, so the team only needs to sign off a few papers, and then they can go home.
They're not even very far from Quantico just a few minutes drive. So everyone is even more eager to get home, and Aaron doesn't want to keep them all here just because he can't stop staring at you.
"Derek," Aaron calls after him just as he is about to leave," tell everyone that you can go home. I'm not even halfway through the paperwork."
"You sure? I can help."
"Yes, I'm sure. Go home." Aaron leaves no room for argument, Derek just nods and heads to tell it to JJ. Aaron tries to push you out of his mind, and goes back to writing.
-
"Hello, ladies," Derek greets you and JJ," sorry to interrupt you, but Hotch send me to tell you that we can all go home. That he's going to finish the papers alone."
You scowl at Derek, "alone?"
"Yeah, you know Hotch, he's always working hard, too hard," JJ adds with a sad smile," but sometimes he lets us help him. It's not often though."
Derek nods in agreement, knowing there's nothing to do with Aaron's stubbornness. They both give you one last small smile before you say your goodbyes.
When it's only a few officers, you and Aaron left in your station, you drift towards where he sits.
He looks up at you as you approach, his eyes immediately softening. "Hey," you say, peeking over his shoulder to the papers in front of him.
"Hey, what are u still doing here?" Aaron asks, he wonders if you are staying late because of paper work, too. He hopes you don't.
"You know, just finishing everything. Better question is why are you still here, agent. You should go home. You and your team worked your asses off for the last few days."
Aaron stretches his back as he tells you," so did you and your station, and I don't see you going home."
You laugh, and you say, " touché." It makes Aaron chuckle, too. Smile wrinkles complimenting his already too handsome face.
"I wanted to ask if you need help with it?" you offer once your chuckling dies down.
Aaron shakes his head before he speaks," thank you for the offer, but no. You should go home. I got this."
Aaron is sending you home not only because it's late, but also out of pure selfish thoughts. He wouldn't be able to work with you sitting next to him, that's for sure.
"If you aren't leaving, Agent Hotchner, then neither am I," you murmur, and dissappear into your office. You emerge from there after a few seconds with a few papers in your hands.
You sit down directly next to Aaron, and suddenly it's like he can't function properly. Words lost in his mind, unable to write one proper sentence.
It takes him a good while to recover while you happily sit next to him, finishing up your own papers. Every now and then you sneak a glance at Aaron. His focused face makes you smile, because he looks so handsome and so adorable at the same time.
Aaron can feel your eyes everytime, but right when he returns the stare you avert your eyes, cheeks rosy. It kills him even more.
You sit like that for almost an hour, but both of you finish the papers. You stand up, stretching your stiff back, "it's been a pleasure doing paperwork with you, agent Hotchner."
Your kind smile is catching, and Aaron smiles at you too," it's just Aaron, please." He tells you, and you beam sheepishly at him, asking him to call you by your first name as well.
Maybe it's your smile or your pretty eyes, but suddenly Aaron asks boldly, "are you hungry?"
You think about it for a split of a second," definitely. I haven't really eaten anything the whole day. Why?"
"Would you like to get something to eat right now? With me?" Aaron quickly blurts out before his sudden courage about this runs out. If he Derek was there to see him right now, he'd be pissing himself laughing at Aaron's poor attempt.
Your eyes go wide, "like...-like a date?"
"Yes. Exactly like a date," Aaron leaves no room for doubt that he likes you like that. He's sure you know already, though.
"I would like that very much," you say quietly, bashfully.
It's Aaron's time to beam at you," great, then let's go. I know a place."
You manage to grab your coat before you are ushered to Aaron's car. Both of you as excited as one can get about a date.
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writersblockedx · 3 months
Note
Hi there!
I really love your fanfics!
I couldn’t use the link to submit a request so I’m sending it here !
What about a fanfic where Ried has a family but he’s kept it secret for so many years so they wouldn’t get hurt. He has a small daughter and a young son. One day at the office, he gets pictures of someone taking pictures of them with a threat so he has to come clean to the team and bring his family to the office to keep them safe and they are all shocked
Please no pressure for this fic! Love your work!!!
Securing Secrets / S.R.
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Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Summary - Spencer has always attempted to keep his family safe. So much so, they had become a secret. But when their lives are threatened, he has no choice but to come clean and ask for the help of his team. Warnings - Stalking, mentions of violence and death Words - 3.8K 
A/n - I hope this is okay for you - I wrote a little more than I intended to but I still hope you enjoy!
Masterlist
It was no wonder why Spencer had kept his family to himself. When he had faced killers like Cat Adams and Tobias Hankle, he knew what humans were capable of - if he dared to even compare them to anything humane. So, he made the decision when he met Y/n to forever keep her a secret from his work. And when they started growing a little family with two children, he kept them a secret too.
Sometimes it killed him inside. As much as he loved his team, risking the lives of his family just wasn't enough for him. He had lost his first love, had his mother held captive, he wasn't about to risk his family too. He had learnt from his past - at least he thought he had done.
"Morgan, hey, no, you can't-" Y/n called towards their seven year old daughter whose sticky fingers had grasped a hold of a copy of fifty shades of grade. When she thought taking the kids on a day trip out to the book store would be easy, she hadn't imagined her seven year old reading smut. "You can't read that." She scolded before placing the book back on its shelf.
The bushy-haired girl gazed up at her mother, "Why not?" She huffed.
Her arm wrapped around Jay, their more reserved, four (and a half) year old. "Because it's an adult book. When you're old enough, you can read it."
"I am old enough, Daddy said I've got an advanced reading age!" Of course, she did - she was the daughter of the guy who could read 20,000 words a minute. Not to mention, she was going through the 'I'm old enough to do what I want' phase.
"Ask me again when you're 18, how about that?" She suggested before the child wrapped at her torso and stared up at her.
"Will Dada be home?" He asked.
Jay always liked coming home from their day trips to find Spencer already there, his head deep in another book or a case file. But days like that were rare - as much as both the parents hated such. "Erm-" Before she could give her son an answer, her phone started to ring. "That should be him." She gave the boy a smile before pulling out her mobile and seeing Spencer's contact staring back at her.
The man, from the moment they made it official, had always made sure to call her at the end of his working day. Whether he was in a hotel somewhere in the country, on the jet or if he was simply in his car, travelling home. "Hey, Spence, you should hear what Morgan wants to read-"
She could barely finish her breath, "Where are you?" He asked, his tone ever so stern that it was already making her nervous.
"The bookstore down town." She answered, already glancing around like she suddenly felt as if she was being watched. "Why?"
The girl could hear his uneven breaths on the other side of the phone, "I- Shit-" That's when Y/n knew something was wrong - her husband never swore...ever. "Can you come to the office? With the kids, we need you here."
"The office? Spencer, what are you talking about? I thought they didn't know."
"Yeah, well something's changed." Her heart started beating so fast that she wondered if Jay would be able to feel it. "Please, I need to know you're all safe."
She nodded and gazed over at her two children whom were waiting to hear about what Daddy had told her. "We'll be right over," She assured.
"And Y/n," He spoke, "In your car, in the glove compartment, there's a pistol, please, take it." What the hell had happened? Spencer could barely use a gun himself, never mind her. "I put it in there just in case and, just keep it on you until you get here."
"Okay, yeah." She didn't like the idea but, if someone was threatening them, if someone was putting her and her children at risk, she would do whatever was needed.
"I'll see you soon." Spencer huffed, "I love you."
"I love you too."
And with that, she ended the call. Only a single exhale dared to leave her lips before she stood. "Is Dada home?" Jay nagged.
She scooped the boy up into her arms, "No, but we're gonna visit him at work, okay?" Jay didn't seem happy about the idea but she'd rather the boy be safe than happy. "Come on," With her free hand, she grasped Morgan's finger tips tightly. "We need to go."
She rushed her and the kids into her parked car outside, making sure to look over her shoulder. Once she was seated in the driver's seat with the engine running, her gaze glanced to the glove compartment. Y/n needed to. Her hand leaned over, pushing it open and finding the gun stuffed behind a thick car manual. She grasped it for a moment before placing it on the passangers seat for easy access.
From there, she didn't take her foot off the gas. She was usually an ulta-safe driver. But, tonight, everything was different.
When they arrived to the BAU, Y/n pressed the button for the sixth floor and waited for the doors to glide open. With two children at either side of her, she wandered into the office. Her eyes instantly searched for Spencer. Instead, a blonde, colourful girl came running over to them. Well, walking as fast as she could in her thick heels. Garcia, Y/n assumed.
"Oh, you must be the lovely Mrs Reid," She sighed in relief when she came face to face with Y/n.
She glanced her up and down; there was no way this was JJ or Emily. "Penelope, right?"
The girl almost seemed surprised, "You- you know me?"
Y/n's face softened ever so slightly, "Of course."
"Y/n!" Her head turned from Garcia to see Spencer jogging over to her. Once he was close enough, he instantly engulfed the girl into a tight hug. "You okay?" He asked before pulling away and hugging his two children.
She nodded, "Yeah, we're okay, don't worry." When Spencer stood from hugging his kids, he gazed back over at his wife. She had grasped her hand from the back hem of her jeans, pulling out the pistol he had made sure she take. "Here, I've no idea what I'm doing with it anyway." Spencer took the weapon from her before her expression turned stern, "Now, what the hell is going on?"
Spencer's eyes instantly glanced down at their children; they didn't need to hear this. "Morgan, Jay," He spoke ever so softly to them as he leaned down, "Why don't you go with Garcia, she'll show you all her funky toys?" He glanced back at Penelope who was gleaming with a smile as she offer a hand for each child.
"Oh, yeah! I've got unicorns, fairies, fluffy pens, everything." She gleamed, trying to hide her fear for the true reason Spencer's family had been bought into the BAU. Once the kids took the woman's hand she gave one last look at the couple, "Let me know if you need anything."
The boy nodded before Garcia began leading the children towards her cave, "Someone- someone found you." He started to explain as he interlocked his hand with her, guiding the two over towards the conference room where the rest of the team were waiting. "I don't know how and I don't know who but- but around 30 minutes ago I had email to my work address. There's photos, almost a months worth."
Her brows narrowed at him, "Of what?"
"Of you."
Oh god. Despite all the effort the two had put in to keep their family personal, someone had still connected her and the kids to Spencer. And for whatever reason, they had become a target.
Spencer opened the door to the conference room, where the team were waiting. Most of them sat at the round table where they had several files and papers scattered in front of them. But at the entrance of Reid and his secret wife, they each turned. She offered them a weak smile before the man, whom she assumed was Hotch, spoke up, "Sadly we don't have much time for small talk, but we all want to help." He stood over towards Y/n and offered her his hand, "Aaron Hotchner."
She shook his hand, "Hotch, I should have known." And then she glanced around the table at the rest of the agents. Without hesitation, she named them all, "JJ, Emily, Rossi and Morgan." She smiled at each of them. "Spencer talks about you all a lot."
The boy next to her grinned every so slightly. "I wish we could have met differently." Morgan offered as he stood up, "Take a seat, we'll run you through what we know."
Y/n followed Spencer as the two sat at the round table and the tv screen in front of them started filling with papazzi-style photographs of the woman. Her grocery shopping, her at a bar with some friends, and even one from this morning: hand in hand with Jay as she led the two children into the bookstore they adored.
"You said this has been going on for a month?" How could that have been the case and she had no idea?
Hotch nodded, "We believe so yes."
"Who would want to do this?" She questioned; she wasn't exactly an interesting person. She had a normal life - as the pictures had proven.
Spencer took her hand, "We erm, we're not sure yet. We have one theory."
The tv screen clicked onto another slide. A woman's face filled the screen. A woman whom Y/n had heard far too much about: Cat Adams. "We know Adams has an obsession with Reid, and well, we know she likes to target his personal life," JJ informed as Y/n recalled the days in which Diana had been held captive. "If she somehow found out about you, it would have set her off."
"But she's in prison." Y/n pointed out.
Emily shrugged, "She was in prison when she found Reid's mother. She's- She's a master manipulator and ever since Reid first encountered her, he was the first man to challenge her." All of which Y/n already knew.
"If you really think it's her then-" Her eyes gazed over at Spencer, filled with worry, "You're going to have to talk to her aren't you?" It wasn't a question; she knew it.
Spencer sucked in a breath before he dared to nod.
It didn't take them long. Before Y/n realised it, she was watching out the window of the conference room as two prison guards held Cat by either one of her arms. She was smiling- no, she was smirking. She knew exactly what she was doing. Her eyes gazed around the office until she was forced into an interrogation room.
All they needed to know was who her contact was. Once they had a name, they could find them and put whoever that was in prison too.
Y/n stood next to Spencer as they stared at the woman through the double-sided mirror. "If she's done all this to get to you, why are we letting her talk to you?" The girl questioned.
"She always slips up in front of Reid." Emily answered - despite how much they all hated the idea.
Rossi was the first to pose another opinion, "What if we give her something she isn't expecting?" He suggested, "What if we don't give her Reid?" Surely, if the team sent in someone Cat Adams didn't expect, then maybe she would slip up just as easily - if not more so.
The older man shared a glance with Emily. A glance of which allowed them to silently suggest something; the two had an idea that wasn't yet shared with the rest of the group. It wasn't until Emily's eyes landed on Y/n that they started to understand what the two were thinking, "What if- What if we sent Y/n in?"
The girl scoffed; that must have been a joke. "You're kidding, right?" She laughed. "I mean, I'm not- I'm an agent. I'm a normal person. I can't talk to a criminal!"
"That's exactly what we need," Spencer spoke aloud without even realising, "She's expecting me, she's expecting FBI, send in someone different and it might just make her slip." Spencer turned to face Y/n, one hand gently cupping her cheek as he spoke, "Especially if we send in the very girl she's jealous of."
Y/n's head shook; she couldn't. She was with Spencer, but she wasn't a part of his world, "I can't."
"You can," His voice soothed, "You can do anything."
"We'll be right here," Emily assured.
Y/n glanced back at the window, at the criminal who had targetted her. If this was their best shot, then she might have to take it. Her family was at risk for goodness sake. Once they figured out who  her partner on the otherside, all this would be over. The girl sighed, "Fine," She finally agreed. "But if anything happens, if she does anything, please-"
Spencer was already nodding, "We'll get you out of there, don't worry." He promised.
His hands fell from her skin before she glanced between the other two agents, "How do I do  this then?" She asked.
"Go in there, vague questions, act better than she is, because you are," Emily mentored, "We need to figure out how she's orchestrated this."
With those instructions, the girl nodded and Rossi handed her the file. The one of which was filled with the stalker photos of herself and the kids, "See what happens if you show her these too, it might tell us a lot." He explained.
And with that, with that grace of a nod, a peck to Spencer's lips, the girl headed into the interrogation room.
Cat Adams was nonchalant. She had learnt a lot. She had learnt the best way to not let BAU agents know what she was thinking. But sending Y/n in certainly hadn't been what she expected.
The girl swallowed as she took the seat across from Cat with a very weak smile. She gazed up at the woman who had suddenly grown a sickly smile which made Y/n become nervous. She wanted to leave already, "Hi," Cat shrugged her shoulders and gazed softly at Y/n.
But the other girl was staring back with narrowed eyes, "Do you know who I am?" She questioned.
Cat leaned back and shrugged, letting out nothing but a hum. So Y/n leaned forward and placed one of the photos in front of the girl. It was just of her - no Jay or Morgan present. Just her, exiting her car as she headed to the store, "So you don't recognise this?".
She barely glanced at it, "Should I?"
"You know Doctor Reid though, don't you?"
Instantly, her demeanour shifted. But she desperately tried to hide it, "Bumped into him...sure." She shrugged it off.
Y/n thought for a moment before raising her left hand, wiggling her ring finger to show off her wedding ring to the girl, "Yeah well, I know him quite well." She said, watching as Cat's smile completely dissipated, "And he, well, he sort of mentioned you. I mean I sort of remember your name...remind me again? Carol? Cath-?"
"Cat." She cut in.
The girl faked a shock of realisation; this was exactly what Emily had asked: make herself look better than Cat.  "And you don't know me?" She glanced back to her wedding ring, "Wife." She spoke.
The girl huffed and smiled to herself like something was funny, "Yeah, good luck with that."
Y/n glared back at her, tilting her head. The words from Emily echoed through her mind. "And what do you mean by that?"
Cat doesn't want to answer that. More specifically, she doesn't want to answer Y/n. "He- he's complicated, I'm sure you're aware right? Girlfriend died, no dad around, mum got kidnapped, and well, god knows everything that's happened to his team." She almost finds it funny.
Y/n leaned her elbows against the metal table, "And you were the very person who took his mother. I know you, Cat. I know all you want is to win against my husband but tough luck, it's not going to happen." The girl tried to keep up her straight face but when facing Cat Adams, it seemed to be proving difficult.
She shrugged, "Maybe not before, but now I have you." Her eyes narrowed and suddenly Y/n grew nervous; she was behind this. All of it. "And of course, you two little munchkins." Her shoulders squeezed and she smiled sickly.
"So you do know them."
"I know everything."
A shiver flew down her spine. She was behind all of this. And Y/n couldn't help but ask: "And what do you want?" Y/n had some idea. This had nothing to do with her or the kids; it was all about getting back at Spencer.
She giggled, "Well there would be no fun in telling you, would there?"
"You can't do this myself yourself," Y/n stated. Once they had the name of whoever it was on the outside, they could get over this: they could move on.
The girl on the other side of the metal table simply shrugged, "Who says I am?" And like that, it was confirmed. Not only the fact that she was behind this, but that she had partner and the outsider. And that was all they needed  - for now, anyway.
With narrowed eyes, Y/n glared at the girl and started to stand from the chair. She didn't need anything else. She took a breath before turning her back, "You might want to look over your shoulder." Cat taunted.
Something of which, the girl had ignored as she continued out of the interrogation room. An exhale fell from her lips as she found herself back in the company of people she trusted. Of people she knew...with Spencer.
His hand instantly reached at her waist, pulling her close. The feeling of her skin at his releasing a relief she couldn't stop. He was safe. He was loving. He was her husband, "Are you okay?" He questioned before anyone else had the chance to speak.
The girl nodded but gave no words. What was she meant to say after a face to face with Cat Adams? "She's definitely behind this," Emily confirmed.
"She's working with someone too," Y/n added as she eased into the familiar feeling of Spencer.
"So now we know that," Y/n started as she gazed between the three agents, "What do we do now?"
"Now," Answered Rossi, "We get Garcia."
And so the group of them wandered over from the interrogation room and headed to what they called Garcia's 'cave'. And safe tp say was. No windows, just a lot of screens and several different sparkly things. Plush teddies, framed stock photos of puppies and a slingy which Jay was playing with.
"Hi," Y/n gleamed as she greeted her kids once more, "You two been good for Garcia?"
The woman stood from her chair, "They're angels," She smiled.
"We need your help now," Spencer said as they quickly entered back into the situation at hand. They didn't have time for small talk.
"Of course, anything."
And so she sat back at her chair as Spencer came to her side, beginning to list the profile they had started, "Look for names that pop up in the guest book of the hotel Montana, it's the building next to our house." Spencer informed and Garcia became manically typing. "They'll have been a guest for at least a month, cross check that with anyone from Cat's old life, work, college, high school, anything-"
"Nothing."
"What if- I mean surely whoever this person is would be using an alias," Y/n suggested.
A theory of which Spencer agreed with, "Bring up a photo of the guests who have stayed for a month."
Garcia followed: there were three. As they scrolled through high school pictures and then college- "There!"
A photo matched. A woman, same age as Cat, sickly sweet smile, fire red hair and geeky glasses. And then the name: Amy Duke. They had a name. They had everything Garcia could find. "That's got to be her," Emily confirmed.
"Garcia, send us everything." And like that, everything was go-go-go.
Y/n barely had a chance to speak before her hand was reaching out to stop Spencer from running off, "Hey," She called.
His hands cupped at her cheeks, "It'll be alright, I promise." He gave a smile which could ease her nervous a million times over. "Go home, I'll be there soon."
And like that, he was gone.
Y/n said her goodbyes to Garcia before taking her kids hand in hand and heading for the exit. She tried to not think about what Spencer was doing, about the woman he was facing. It was all too overwhelming. Instead, she focused on feeding her kids and getting them dressed for bed. It was horrible when they asked about where Daddy was - if he was coming home. All she could tell them was that it was going to be fine...even if she wasn't so sure of such herself.
She perched at the end of Morgan's bed, her door open, giving the woman a view of a sleeping Jay in the room across the hall. She didn't dare to leave her children when there was danger still looming over them. The girl watched as her daughter's chest rose and fell with her breaths. And after what felt like hours, the front door rustled open.
Y/n became alert, she flew up to her feet and wandered carefully out of Morgan's room. She lingered at the top of the stairs; what if it wasn't her husband? "Spence?" She called, worrisome.
He was already rushing up the stairs at the sound of her voice, "Hey, it's me don't worry." He met her at the top of the landing, engulfing his body around her. "It's over, I swear, she's been arrested, Cat is back in prison." Relief flooded her. "It's all over."
Her head gazed up at him, a slight grin brushing over her lips, "What a way to meet your second family, hey?" She giggled. And while the day had been horrid, there was some good out of it - she wasn't a secret anymore.
1K notes · View notes
kamiversee · 6 months
Text
➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏
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✧.* CHAPTER 11 || The Thorn and The Petal
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[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?
[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, angst, & fluff.
[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 4k
[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.
[ [ chapters mlist } ]
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——"WELL, CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT he's my professor, I thought it'd be pretty obvious that he's one of the hardest on the list." Gojo's voice flew through your ear.
You had him on the phone as you lay on your stomach across your bed. Talking to him is something you want to limit as much as possible but you can't try anyone on the list completely blindsided so, sadly, you still need him.
"Then there's Nanami. As far as I know, he's not interested in sleeping with just anyone-- you'll most likely have to get to know him a bit." Gojo explains. You're taking little notes of this in a journal of yours since it's a lot of information to keep up with. "And uh, you said you met Choso already...?" The man over the phone asks.
"Mhm, ran into him in the hallway. He doesn't seem like he'll be hard to win over." You say casually.
Gojo pauses for a second. Then he sighs, "Yeah, the worst-case scenario with him is that he'll catch feelings for you."
A brow rose in suspicion, "What makes you think he'll catch feelings for me?"
"He's not like the other guys on the list. Aside from..." Gojo takes a second to think, "I guess, Nanami, I'm not sure Choso is used to or even understands the concept of a hookup."
"Meaning...?"
"Meaning, he'll grow attached."
"Okay well," You hesitate. "Let's just hope he doesn't."
"Right." Gojo chuckles a little, nearly sounding relieved.
You write some more stuff into the journal, trying to devise a plan for each man. "Okay and, can you just tell me the last two people on the list?"
"Oh. Well, there's Sukuna, who happens to be Choso's older... half-brother? I really don't know how their family works but, yeah." He answers, sounding a little confused on the matter himself.
You're quiet for a long moment, white noise heard through the phone. It takes you a few minutes to really process what that idiot just told you. First a professor and now you're learning that you have to fuck two people who are related...
"Gojo..." You let out a stressed sigh. "Y'know what, never mind."
"Nono, what is it?" He urges, interested in hearing how you feel about it.
He knows it's probably not the most easy thing to accept but, that doesn't make him care any less about how you feel.
Your eyebrows are tensed, "Half-brother?"
"Okay I know how it sounds but, I'm pretty sure they hate each other," Gojo tells you as if it's supposed to make things sound good.
"Oh my god," You reply, voice sarcastic, "That makes it so much better."
"Listen-"
"No Gojo, I really think I'm done listening. Who's the last person?" You divert.
The sound of him taking a deep breath can be heard, "Fuck, you're not gonna like this one either..."
"What is it?"
"It's Naoya... Who happens to be..." Gojo swallows hard, "Well, he's..."
"He's what?!" You huff, "Spit it the fuck out Gojo."
"I'm like fifty percent sure he's Mr. Fushiguro's cousin or something."
You scoff in pure disbelief. "Why am I not fucking surprised?"
"I'm sor-"
"Apologize to me one more time and I promise you, this will be our last conversation ever." You cut off.
You then drop the phone in your hand onto the bed, putting the man on speakerphone and moving your fingertips to massage your temples. A migraine is on the rise within your head and you don't know how much longer you can put up with this shit.
You swear the only good thing about this is the fact that you're getting paid.
Suddenly, as you think harder about the situation you're in, tears well up in your eyes. This shit sucks. It fucking sucks. You don't wanna do this. What if you get caught doing something with Toji? Or, what if one guy finds out about the other and then you experience a spiderweb effect of everyone figuring your little scheme out?
How can you get out of this situation? Why did it have to be you of all people? Why won't Gojo just find someone, anyone else to do this bullshit for you? Yeah, you need the money-- which is another thing for you to cry about because you can't get a proper job to save your life, but you still hate everything about this.
Before you even realize it, you're sniffling and wet spots are forming against the bed below you.
Gojo's still on the line, wondering if he's hearing things correctly. You hear him call out your name softly, almost as if he genuinely cares about you. The sound of his gentle tone alone makes your crying get a little worse.
"F-Fuck off," You choke out.
You then move a hand to hang up on him because you don't want him to hear you crying like this but he starts talking and you start listening before you press that bright red button.
"Wait, shit, listen. I know I'm an asshole, I know this whole thing is fucked up, I know I'm treating you terribly right now but..." Gojo trails off and you think you hear a thud on the other side of the phone. Did he just hit something? "Fuck, I know you don't want to hear this but I am sorry, honestly."
Your voice is a small whisper as you wipe your face off, "Screw you and your sorry."
"I... I-I'll triple it." Gojo suddenly offers.
You swallow and sniffle a bit, "Triple what?"
"The original price. I'm changing it to six thousand." He says.
You can tell he's serious about it too because as you stare at your phone in shock, you see another deposit made to your account to make up for the interactions you had with him and Geto.
"P-Per person??" You ask to clarify.
"Yes, it's... it's the least I can do, right?" Gojo sighs. Even though you want to ignore it, you can hear how disappointed in himself he sounds.
For another long moment, you're quiet. The least he can do? Bullshit. He's the one who put you in this damn situation in the first place.
"...No..." You end up mumbling out.
He scoffs lightly, "No?"
"The least you could do is delete the video and let me go." Your voice is as delicate as ever, gently hitting the man's ears in a way that makes his heart throb.
Gojo grits his teeth and although you can't see it, his head tips back against his bedframe as he stares up at his ceiling. His hands raise to his face and his words are a little muffled, filled with distraught, "...I can't do that, sweetheart. I can't." He breathes.
The man sounds almost pained at the thought of letting you go.
You scowl at the phone, eyes watering all over again, "S-Stop it with the damn nickname, I hate it-, I hate you."
Gojo has a broken little smile on his face and the voice you hear over the phone is full of hurt, "I know but-," He clears his throat a little and you hear him inhale deeply, "Fuck... you don't really mean that do you?" He whispers.
You don't know why you don't respond instantly like you were before. It's like the sound of his voice was getting to you. Why does he sound hurt too? This isn't affecting him the way it is you so, what the hell is his problem?
"...I don't know," You mumble, "I don't even fucking know anymore."
It goes quiet after that.
You couldn't hear much from your phone but the softest sounds of him moving. It was gentle movements though, not like he was doing anything inappropriate but almost like...
You don't want to think about it or even take a guess but it genuinely sounded like the man could've been crying over the phone.
As soon as you think about it, you scoff at yourself and shake your head. Gojo Satoru, crying because you said you hate him? Yeah right.
"I should uh," You sniffle a bit, "I should go-"
"I'll make it up to you." He suddenly sighs. "All of it. I swear, I'll make it all up to you, okay?"
Again, his words and the tone of his voice are yanking at your overworked heartstrings. "...Promise?" You whisper, having no idea why you're giving him this chance in the first place.
Gojo's smiling at his phone, hearing the change in your voice and feeling relieved that you're actually listening to him, "I promise."
With one last quiet okay slipping from your lips, the phone call ends there.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
Within minutes after that ridiculously angsty phone call, you receive a text from someone that instantly has you blinking away your tears.
It's Choso.
It had been maybe a little over an hour and a half since you ran into him in the hallway but, here he was texting you already. It was a simple text that read; 'hey ik we just met and all but, can I call you?'. You had to blink a few times to register what you were reading.
After you mentally prepare for it, you go ahead and respond with a simple yeah in response. Seconds later, the male is calling-, no, FaceTiming you.
You think your heart sinks into your fucking toes. Your eyes are slightly reddened and puffy from the crying you just did and you do not want him to see you right now.
Regardless, you answered the call and have the camera directed toward the ceiling. Choso's stupidly handsome face pops up on your screen and you're smiling already.
"Hey uh, ok I know this is kinda awkward but my brother wouldn't answer and I wanted to show this to someone," He tells you, his voice like a calming balm to your ears.
"You could've just sent me a picture y'know..." You say, your tone noticeably light due to the tears you just shed.
Choso pauses for a second, staring at his phone. "Okay, scratch that for a second, are you okay?"
"Uhm, yeah? Why?"
"You sound like you were crying." He points out.
How the actual fuck can he tell?
You chuckle at him, "I wasn't."
"Then you sound upset. Did something happen?"
"Nothing I feel like talking about right now but, thanks for asking. What did you wanna show me?"
"I won't show you unless you tell me something." Choso says in full seriousness, "And plus, you're not even showing your face which further believes me to think you were crying."
Again, you laugh, "I uh, I just look a mess right now. And the only thing I'll tell you is... I dunno, I had an argument with my..." What the hell do you even refer to Gojo as at this point?
"Your boyfriend?" He suddenly fills in for you.
"No!" You huff, giggling at his assumption, "I don't even have a boyfriend."
You see him smiling a little, "Girlfriend, then?"
"No, Choso. I'm single."
"Ohhh." He hums, sounding genuinely surprised. "My bad, did you fight with a friend?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess you could call him that." You say, shrugging a little.
"Damn. It must've been a big argument."
"What makes you say that?"
His shoulders raised, "You don't even wanna call him your friend."
You scoff a little, "He's just... an asshole."
"One that made you cry?" Choso asks, arching a brow in suspicion.
"No," You roll your eyes, "I didn't cry, Choso."
"Show me your face then."
"I don't want to."
He scoffs, "That's how I know you were crying."
You hate the way the man is reading right through you. "I wasn't." You argue.
"Lying to me when the truth is obvious is crazy," Choso says dramatically.
"I'm not lying."
You see him shake his head in disappointment, "Damn, I might need to remember this as a red flag of yours; pathological liar." He tells you with his voice both serious and playful at the same time.
"You really don't believe me, huh?"
"Not until I see your face, no."
"Fine," You lift your phone slightly, only showing your face from the nose up.
Choso stares for a minute before suddenly smiling fully and holy shit is the sight sexy. The phone is quiet as he stares at you, almost dazed like how he was earlier. You feel a little awkward and have the urge to put the phone down but when he blurts something out, you end up freezing.
Choso tilts his head and his gaze is scrutinizing, "Your eyes are so fuckin' pretty, I'm gonna lose my mind." He compliments abruptly.
Your heart definitely stopped for a minute, maybe three. The way you drop your phone and sink your head into your blanket like a blushing and giggling teenager is comical at this point. The man's words made you smile so hard that your cheeks were starting to hurt.
"Don't... Don't say shit like that so suddenly," You say, chuckling through your words.
He shrugs and sits back into whatever chair he's in, "But it's true. Fuck, show me your full face this time."
"G-Gimme a second," You sigh.
"Why?"
Does he not realize how attractive he is right now? You can't even conversate normally.
"Cause' I... I need a minute." You mumble to him.
The corner of his lips is up in a smirk and damn the way he looks at the phone. "Did I just make you nervous?" He asks, his voice suddenly a little lower.
You scoff, "No."
"Liarrr," He taunts.
"I'm not lying."
He clicks his tongue, his eyes low on the phone. "Then show me your face, princess."
Jesus, the nickname caught you off-guard. You can't do this. Why is Choso so... so... hot? Sexy? Attractive? You don't even know what word to use for the man at this point.
"Fuck. Fine." You end up sighing.
Then, you slowly move to lift your phone and prop it up with a nearby pillow. Since you're laying on your stomach and you're wearing a loose tank top, your chest is pressed against the bed below and Choso has a full view of that and everything else from your neck up.
He blinks a few times and you pray that he doesn't say anything that'll fluster you again.
To your surprise, it seems as though you'd flustered the man without saying anything. Choso's head turns to the side as he looks away from his phone and you get a lovely view of his jawline. Damn, he's got quite the side profile.
You watch him inhale deeply and then peek over to his phone from the corner of his eye as if that'll change the sight on his device. You simply blink innocently at him as if you're unaware of the way you look right now.
"You alright over there?" You ask in an almost sultry tone.
Choso clears his throat and nods, turning to face his camera again, "Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure?"
He stares intently before saying, "You're somethin' else, y'know that?"
A chuckle leaves you as you tilt your head, "Am I?"
"Yeah. But uh, now that I can see you..." His eyes dart past his phone and you watch as he looks back and forth between the device and whatever is in front of him.
Your eyebrow raises in curiosity as you watch him, "What is it?" You ask.
"Oh, it's what I wanted to show you." He says and you watch him stand up and look down at his phone one last time. "Okay, it's not perfect but I hope you like it."
For a second you're still confused but when Choso flips the camera around, sheer surprise takes over your expression and your jaw literally drops. It was by far one of the most beautiful things you'd ever laid your eyes on.
"Don't freak out, I hope this isn't weird," Choso says quickly as he backs up a little and gives you a full view.
The man had painted you.
It was unique too. Not just like a normal portrait but like how you appeared in his eyes which just so happened to be so very beautiful. His art in general includes darker colors and you can see other paintings behind his newest one, all fitting in with his theme.
"Y-You painted me?" You say dumbfoundedly, "I thought you majored in graphic design."
He laughs, "I do but that's just for school. I paint in my free time."
"Choso you just saw my face for the first time a few hours ago, how the hell did you..."
"I honestly can't explain that," He says with a shrug, "When I got home I uh, couldn't get your face out of my head, and well, if I didn't draw or paint you I think I was gonna go crazy."
You study the art a little more. It's you but at a side profile, your gaze is downwards and you think for a second before you realize it's a painting of you as you were looking at his other art on his phone earlier. Choso painted an image of you from his perspective and boy was it beautiful.
There was predominantly black paint and he has this smudgy yet clean art style you don't think you've ever seen before.
"Choso that's beautiful, oh my god," You gasp, eyes wide and a smile prominent on your face.
You're so distracted by the canvas you're being shown that you miss as the man screenshots the reaction you have.
"You want it?" He offers simply.
You don't even know what to say, "Uhm, I dunno, i-it's your art."
"Yeah, but it's you."
"Kinda narcissistic for me to have a portrait of myself, don't you think?"
"Kinda stalkerish for me to have a portrait of a girl I just met, don't you think?" He asks in return, mocking you.
You giggle, "You're the one who decided to paint me."
"True. Alright then lemme ask this," He turns the phone back around to himself and you watch him sit back down, "Can I keep it?"
You blink. "It's your art."
"It's your face." The man fires back.
"I-," You sigh, "Yeah Choso, you can keep it."
He smiles, "Thanks."
"No, thank you. I didn't think I could look that good." You sigh, feeling all bubbly and light inside.
Choso tilts his head as he looks at his phone, "Have you seen yourself?"
"Don't give me that." You roll your eyes playfully, "Have you seen your art? You could make a pile of shit look good."
"I can't make anything look good, I can only work with the beauty that's already there."
Your voice gets caught in your throat for a second. When you swallow down the compliment he's given you, you can't stop yourself from smiling. "Y'know they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?"
"I'm aware. And in this case, I'm the beholder and you're someone I find beautiful." He responds.
Damn the way he's quick with all these comebacks. "I think your gaze is filtered." You say with a shrug.
You see him raise a brow, "By what?"
"I dunno, delusion."
Choso laughs wholeheartedly at you. "My gaze is delusional because I think you're beautiful? Wow."
For a long moment, you'd forgotten about everything again. You forgot about your rules, the list, the situation you're in-- all of it. For once, it felt peaceful, blissful even.
"I'm joking," You tell him, watching as he sighs in relief. "But on a serious note, thank you for this."
"For what? The painting?" Choso asks.
"Yeah, that and uh, calling me. You have some interesting timing."
"Oh yeah, no problem. I'm glad I made you feel better."
The way you and him have these little conversations so seamlessly is something you never want to end. He's so sweet and refreshing to talk to that you wish you could forget about the list and just run away with the man.
"Who says I was feeling bad...?" You reply to him.
Choso rolls his eyes, clearly seeing through you, "I don't like liars y'know..."
You pout, "Whatever."
"And I'm being for real, I'm glad I made you feel better. I uh, hope you and your friend fix things."
You scoff, "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what he did."
"No, I would." Choso protests. He doesn't know the details but he's being genuine, "If whatever you guys were arguing about was enough to make you cry then, clearly you care about him."
Your head shakes slowly, "You don't have enough context on the situation to come to that conclusion."
"You didn't deny it-"
"I don't care about him." You cut off. "Trust me when I say, I hate him."
Choso chuckles at you. He didn't take your words seriously one bit. "Ehh, sounds like an enemies-to-lovers situation..." He comments with an innocent little shrug.
"Oh hell no, this isn't that." You assure the man.
He gives you a skeptical look, "You sure?"
"I'm positive."
"Damn." Choso blinks, "He really fucked up didn't he?"
"You have no idea."
"I wanna ask more buuut I don't wanna be nosy soo, m'kay." Choso results in saying. "Even so, I still hope you and him get through whatever it is you're going through."
You sigh, "I don't but, thanks Choso."
"No problem, princess." He says sweetly.
Fuck, he keeps catching you off-guard with that. It makes your brain get to stuttering and your face gets hot, "Don't call me that..."
"Why? It's fitting."
"No, it's not." You argue.
"Alright," He glances away to think before saying, "How about angel?"
You sigh, "Stop."
"Pretty girl?" He continues.
"Choso." You call.
He doesn't listen, "Doll? Baby?"
"You're still going..."
He pauses for a minute to think before uttering, "Sweetheart?"
Fuck that made you think of Gojo. You think your body freezes for a second at the thought of the man alone.
"Love?" Choso adds on, having no idea of your little history with these damn pet names.
"You can stop now," You say sternly. "Seriously."
"Alright, alright, my bad. I'll stick to the first one." He hums, "Unless you seriously don't like it...?"
The way he holds nothing but consistent care for your feelings toward things is truly endearing, "Nah, the first one's fine."
Choso nods, "Alright then princess, I'll talk to you later."
You're smiling all over again, "Bye Choso."
The two of you give a little wave to each other before the phone call comes to an end.
Oh, you definitely feel like a teenager all over again. The way he painted you the same day he met you, the way he speaks so charmingly to you, the way he... fuck it's everything about him
Scew Gojo and his shitty little promise of making things up to you, based on the one phone call you had with Choso-- there's nothing that white-haired bastard can do to fix the paining fact that your real chances with Choso are slim to none because you'd never be able to tell him about the list.
And god forbid the man finds out about it.
Butterflies are still stirring in your stomach, the feeling being the after-effect of talking to Choso. You don't want to like him but it's already difficult. You actually shouldn't and really can't like him.
You've gotta distance yourself going forward. You have to.
The question now is, will you be able to?
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GOJO SATORU ✔︎
GETO SUGURU ✔︎
TOJI FUSHIGURO ☐
KAMO CHOSO ☐
NANAMI KENTO ☐
??? SUKUNA ☐
??? NAOYA ☐
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mlist || previous chapt || next chpt
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785 notes · View notes
zephyrchama · 4 months
Note
I was reading your period one. The funny thing is, I am pretty sure human guys might smell periods too? I'm not really sure...call me crazy but like, my boyfriend can smell my period room it's probably from him being around me 24/7 so it's why he can smell it a small bit i think, so I get more chocolate. Weird thing, huh.
(In reference to this post)
Some people absolutely can! I have a friend who describes it as a faint rotten metallic smell, he's always spot-on at telling when someone is on their period. He has to be within a couple feet of them, but he can tell even if he hardly knows the person. I think my friend is a super rare case though, and like with your boyfriend some people might be able to tell if they're really close? In a vast majority of cases people can't tell, or they don't care enough to think about it.
~
Solomon being able to smell it right off the bat seems too powerful. MC going to him for assistance is already awkward, it doesn't exactly feel normal to talk to acquaintances about personal menstrual cycles. But if he can't smell it, he'll need someone who can to help with their experiments. Otherwise, how can he tell if the spell is a success?
"You can't bring in Luke or Simeon, absolutely not. Never." MC is adamant about not involving anyone else. They hadn't noticed the angels reacting in any way to their period, but if it turns out they could also smell it all along? That's just too embarrassing. Let MC keep their perfect image of the angels intact. "You can't tell them about this, either."
"One of the brothers, then?" Solomon asks.
MC hmms and haws. They know for sure the brothers can smell it, but... That's not ideal, either.
"How about I summon Asmodeus or Barbatos? I can make sure they keep their lips sealed."
Barbatos is sure to keep quiet even without being asked, but MC doesn't want to involve anyone else. Especially not...
"Lord Diavolo? We can ask him? It has to do with his exchange program, after all," Solomon teased.
"We are absolutely not asking the crown prince of the Devildom to sniff my period blood." MC pressed their hands against their eyes. "I'd honestly rather perish on the spot. Can't you do anything? Invent some kind of sensor or a magic litmus test? Or... something. Make your nose better? I don't know." They didn't even know magic was real a few months ago.
"You know, you're right." If Solomon can't naturally smell it, a simple sense enhancing spell would do the trick. "You'd be okay with that?"
A few seconds of thought go by. "If it's you, yeah. I've already troubled you this much. Thanks for letting me rely on you."
Solomon says a few things faster than MC can catch and taps his nose. Suddenly, he's sniffing the air in an embarrassingly familiar way and MC's face turns red.
"I see." Solomon grabs a pen and starts jotting something down on a random page of an empty book.
MC curiously tries to look over his shoulder. Though, they're careful not to get too close. They still have dignity and want to mitigate their smell as much as possible. "What's that? You've already thought of a spell that can cover it up? You're a genius!"
"Hm? Oh, no. I thought of that ages ago. I'm taking notes on what you smell like. It's pretty unique now that I can sense it." All in the name of science.
Fighting cramps and lethargy, MC dives for the notebook and snatches it out of Solomon's hands. No way they're letting a record of this exist.
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dyaz-stories · 9 months
Text
in a world of boys, he's a gentleman || Park Chan-Young x f!Reader
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summary: Yeong-Su breaks a window at the stadium, and Chan-Young takes the blame for it, resulting in severe consequences. Fortunately, you're here to pick up the pieces afterwards.
word count: 3.1k
warnings & tags: spoilers for season 2 of sweet home, violence, injuries, soldiers being assholes, coarse language, making out, the pronoun "she" is used in reference to the reader
A/N: couldn't find gifs for chan-young so I made this one, but I'm by no means a gif maker, so, yeah. Also, I don't know anything about baseball, so please pretend this makes sense if you know better. I'm not sure which team Chan-Young was supposed to be on, so I picked the Doosan Bears because Sweet Home takes place in Seoul. Finally, it's my first time writing for him, so I hope you'll enjoy my take on this character!
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It’s another day at the stadium, which means it’s another day of boredom.
Oh, there are things to do around here, sure. If you don’t mind being ordered around by soldiers who stand behind you with a scowl on their face and remind you that the only reason you’re even there is because of their good will, you’ll find a job to do. Cleaning a corner of the stadium, probably, in hopes that someone will be able to live there — as if there were enough mattresses — or doing the inventory, again, while looking the other way when rations mysteriously go missing and everyone knows who’s doing the taking.
Thing is, you’ve never been one to grovel. In fact, back in the Before days, you were the one giving the orders. Youngest assistant coach for the Doosan bears, the Seoul baseball team, you were in line to become the youngest coach in the history of the country. And, yeah, you weren’t completely in charge, but you were trusted. You had responsibilities. People knew to take you seriously.
You’ve had ideas for how to run this place more efficiently, to avoid making the civilians feel like they’re second-rate citizens, but it’s been made clear to you that you weren’t welcome to make suggestions. So you haven’t bothered, lately, but you also won’t play in that stupid game, where people get to change the rules without telling you.
It means that you do a lot of aimless walking around in the stadium. Chief Ji implicitly lets you roam around, a testament to the fact that you knew each other well back in the days, when you used to bring her coffee before big games, but you mostly try to make yourself useful in the way soldiers haven’t bothered accounting for.
A lot of that means keeping an eye on kids that are left to themselves otherwise. Their parents are busy, and it’s not like there’s much to do for them, here, so you try to keep them entertained. Unfortunately, you’re no teacher, meaning that it’s a lot of physical activities, wherever you find enough place. Other days, people who are teachers take over for you. That is the case today, meaning you’d have the day ‘off’, if it weren’t for Yeong-Su not showing up for class.
You don’t personally think he should have to attend class. You know how mean the other kids can be to him, and though the teachers don’t do much in the name of keeping the peace, you don’t let that fly when you’re in charge. Which is probably why the kid never misses your classes, a small pride that you keep well tucked in your heart.
Still, the teachers insist that you make sure he’s okay, so you agree to go try and find him. He knows the stadium well, meaning it will be no easy task.
You end up finding him throwing a ball against a wall. It looks like he’s practicing his aim, you think when you notice that he’s drawn a square on it. You’re about to approach him, maybe give him a few pointers, when a particularly hard throw has the ball bouncing too high and it crashes through a window, finishing outside of the stadium.
You freeze. Monsters don’t approach the stadium much — it’s been months since there’s been a case of that happening.
But the mere thought of there being something open here still has your heart pounding with fear. It’s only a few seconds before you compose yourself, but that’s long enough for someone to come running. You rush towards Yeong-Su, prepared to fiercely defend him if you need to.
It’s Chan-Young, and you relax, even if your heart is now pounding for a whole other reason.
“What happened here?” he asks.
He may have been running with his whole equipment, but he shows no sign of being out of breath.
“I’m sorry,” Yeong-Su mumbles. He’s hard to handle, especially these days, but he clearly respects Chan-Young a lot. “I didn’t mean to— I was just practicing and—"
Oh gosh, you realize, kid was practicing pitching, and it’s not lost on you that that’s the position Chan-Young mainly played as.
“…and now I’ve lost my ball,” Yeong-Su sniffs.
He’s trying to hold back tears, and it tears a little piece of your heart away. You know that Yeong-Su had found a ball autographed by Chan-Young, know that it’s one of his most prized possessions. It’s no surprise that Yeong-Su can’t stand the thought of losing anything more than what he already has.
Chan-Young glances at you, still standing a few steps behind Yeong-Su.
“He didn’t mean to,” you say. “I’ll help you fix the window.” Eun-Yu probably won’t mind giving you a hand, too.
Chan-Young nods, and you watch as he puts a knee to the floor, so he’s at eye-level with Yeong-Su. If he was any other soldier, you’d be more cautious, but you know him. Worked with him, when he was on your team, lost him when he enlisted, and now you’re in this strange limbo, where he doesn’t seem to know how to interact with you, even though there is this obvious familiarity between the two of you, every time you do speak.
“You need to be more careful,” he tells Yeong-Su, putting on his Serious voice. “If a monster heard that and came in, it could be very dangerous for everyone. And if you’re in front of the window when it happens, it would attack you first. So don’t let that happen again, okay?”
Then he gives Yeong-Su a small, comforting smile.
“If you want to practice again, come ask me next time, okay?” He glances up at you, and there’s such softness in his eyes when he does. “Or ask the coach. She knows her stuff.”
You’d never become coach, not officially, but his use of the word makes your heart swell.
“Okay,” Yeong-Su mumbles, staring down at his feet.
For a moment, it looks like everything will resolve itself just like that, and you’re already putting a hand on Yeong-Su’s shoulders to pull him away with you, when you hear the familiar stomping of military boots coming towards you.
Chan-Young’s expression changes immediately.
“Go,” he orders.
“But…”
He spins around to grab your shoulders, lowering himself to look straight into your eyes.
“Go,” he repeats. “Please.”
There’s such urgency in his voice that you can’t deny him, even if you’re not sure what is going on exactly. You grab Yeong-Su’s hand and pull him with you until you’re both behind a corner, just in time. You keep an eye on the scene, confused. The soldiers behave like assholes, you know that, but surely—
“What happened here?” the Sergeant bellows in Chan-Young’s face. “You’re lucky it was us, who were standing outside the window, and not something else! You better have an explanation, soldier.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” Chan-Young says, shoulders straight, from what you can see. “I was just practicing and—”
Before you can wonder why he’d lie, the punch catches him in the stomach, and he doubles over in pain. You catch yourself before you can gasp out loud, and instinctively cover Yeong-Su’s mouth, which is probably a smart move, because he starts thrashing to run towards Chan-Young. You don’t blame him, but you also absolutely cannot let him do that, not right now.
“Yeong-Su,” you whisper, mimicking Chan-Young’s attitude with you just a minute ago. “You need to go back to Ms. Cha. Okay?”
“But they’re…”
You wince, because they’re still berating Chan-Young, and one of them has just given him a hard kick to the ribs. All the more reason for you to intervene.
“I’ll take care of it, I promise, but I can’t do that if you’re here. So go back to her, and I’ll come see you when everything is okay again, alright?”
He sniffs, rubs his eyes to hide the tears, then turns around and runs. At least he’s got a good survival instinct, you think, even if it hurts to remember where it comes from. The second you’re sure he’s not coming back, it’s your turn to run, but towards the soldiers this time, with a confidence that you now worry is wholly unwarranted.
“Hey, don’t you think that’s enough?” you interject, maneuvering so you can get between them and Chan-Young.
There’s a scoff and they roll their eyes. One of them puts his hand on your shoulder and pushes, but you barely take a step back. You’re used to men trying to intimidate you.
“I thought we’d made it clear that your opinions weren’t welcome,” Seo-Jin snaps at you, getting too close to your face for comfort — like that would make you budge.
“Doesn’t mean I’m going to let you beat up someone because he broke a fucking window, when if you’d gotten to work, that hole would be closed by now,” you reply on the same tone.
He opens his mouth to yell at you once more, a vein bulging on his forehead, when Chan-Young comes to stand in front of you. He’s barely just gotten on his feet, has one hand pressed against his rib cage, and still, he’s already coming to stop you from taking any risk. You want to scream at him and hug him all at the same time.
“Please, sir, she doesn’t have anything to do with this.”
Neither does he!
“That’s enough, Seo-Jin,” sergeant Kim finally intervenes, and the man immediately takes a step back. “Don’t let it happen again,” he tells Chan-Young. “And fix the hole,” he tells you, as an afterthought, before leaving and taking his team with him.
Your blood is boiling. He might try to be the voice of reason now, but you saw him doing nothing while his men got blood on their hands so he wouldn’t have to.
You don’t have time to think about it, though, because next to you, Chan-Young has slowly let himself slide to the floor.
“Are you okay?” you ask, panicked, while he grimaces and leans against the wall.
“I’m fine,” he says, an obvious lie. “You shouldn’t have said anything.”
“You took responsibility for something you had nothing to do with, but I’m the one who shouldn’t have said anything?”
He sighs, shakes his head.
“I just don’t want anything to happen to you,” he says. He looks at you with warm eyes, and you feel your breath catching in your throat.
There’s something about Chan-Young, there always has been. You always have to remind yourself that he’s nice to everyone, because he’s such a kind person. Even that didn’t stop you from falling for him — and it’s the second time that it happens, damn him.
“I’ll go get medical supplies,” you say, pushing yourself to your feet. “Stay here.”
“There’s no need to—”
“Please, do you want to die from an infection after surviving all these monsters? Stay. Here.”
You ignore any further protests as you rush to get the supplies.
It doesn’t take you long. Chief Ji provides you with what you need without questions, and apologizes for not being able to give you painkillers — they’re reserved for emergencies, she explains. You know the other supplies are, too, but you understand her reasoning, and just thank her with a quick nod and a promise to help out for the next few shifts outside the stadium, if she needs it.
When you come back, Chan-Young’s moved to sit on one of the boxes that are always laying around in here, and you grab another one to sit across from him.
“Open your jacket,” you say as you take the disinfectant.
“I— I don’t think that’s necessary—”
“C’mon, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” you say with an eyeroll, because the guys on the team weren’t exactly shy about taking their shirt off in front of you and he should remember that.
He clears his throat and glances away, and you notice his ears turning red.
“Um, right. Yeah. Just a second.”
Under the jacket, he’s wearing a simple white t-shirt, and he lifts it up so you can see for yourself.
And it’s not looking good. The area is red and swollen already, and you worry it will be worse soon. Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about that, so you disinfect the scratches caused by the boots, and gesture for him to put it back down. You’d normally advise to put something cold on it, to calm the swelling, but that’s not really an option here, not when the little electricity you have is mostly used to keep the lights on.
“Try not to move around too much, okay?”
“I’ll try my best,” he says with a brief laugh. It’s a silly recommendation, and you both know it, but you still felt the need to say something.
“Now give me your hand, I’ll see what I can do.”
He does, and you carefully turn it to check the palm. You’re not sure if he hurt himself when he fell earlier, or if it’s just that there’s constantly manual work to be done and it’s hard not to injure your hand. Either way, you start cleaning it and disinfecting it as well.
“Do you think they would have been as hard on a kid?” you ask.
“No!” he protests immediately, maybe a tad too strongly. “They’re humans. I’m sure they wouldn’t have—” He interrupts himself, and you suspect that he knows they still could have hit him, a thought that makes your stomach turn. “But… Yeong-Su’s had a hard enough life as it is. People here are not… kind to him.”
“I’m not blaming you, especially after that,” you sigh, “I just— You do realize that it’s not your responsibility, right? I’d have helped the kid, and it could have ended better than…”
You gesture vaguely at him, and he closes his eyes for a second. He closes his fingers over yours where you’re holding his hand, rubs his thumb over your skin, which sends a wave of heat through your body. It only lasts a moment, though, before he catches himself and lets go.
“I’m— I was in charge, when his sister— I was supposed to be helping them. And I failed him.”
“What?” Ms. Cha told you that story, in hushed whispers, to explain why Yeong-Su was such a complicated child these days. It had been clear that there was nothing Chan-Young could have done. “You can’t blame yourself for someone turning into a monster and going on a rampage.”
“It happened on my watch,” he insists. “If I’d been more careful— If I hadn’t left the bus—”
You stop yourself to look at him straight in the eye. He’s close, but you don’t feel uncomfortable, not with him.
“That could have happened to anyone. You couldn’t have planned for it.” He exhales, long and slow.
“Thank you for saying that,” he says, but you can tell that your words haven’t sunk in. It breaks your heart, and yet you have no idea what more you can say. After all, you weren’t there. It makes sense that he wouldn’t believe you.
“You still shouldn’t put yourself in the line of danger to—” to what, anyway? Expiate his sins? What does he have to prove? Does he have a death wish or something? “You shouldn’t put yourself in danger when you don’t have to.”
“Better me than Yeong-Su,” he insists. “He’s just a kid, and he has his mom — well, Ms. Cha. And he has you.” You set the disinfectant back down, hands almost trembling as you realize where he’s going with this. “Better me than him,” he just concludes sadly.
“Park Chan-Young,” you say, “you don’t seriously think that, right?”
He doesn’t meet your eyes when he replies.
“He has a family here. I— don’t really have anyone—”
You’re not sure what goes through your head when you put your hand on his cheek and kiss him. If you had to rationalize it — which you’re not really in any position to do when it happens — you’d say that you just wanted to prove him how wrong he was. Truth is, though, that you also couldn’t bear the idea that you were letting him believe that when it was so entirely untrue.
His lips are warm against yours, and you think you feel him leaning into you, but you pull away too soon to know.
“There,” you say as you gather your things. “Now you know you do have someone, so don’t put yourself in danger unnecessarily, alright?”
Then you’re on your feet, hell-bent on fleeing the scene.
Of course, Chan-Young catches up with you in an instant. He grabs your wrist, and pulls you back against him. His eyes are wide as he searches yours.
“Did you mean that?” he asks, his voice catching in his throat.
“Mean what?” Your heart is pounding in your chest. You’re… not sure where he is going with this.
“It wasn’t pity, right? You— I have you?”
The words almost send a shiver down your spine.
“Of course you do. I don’t exactly go around kissing people—”
Next thing you know, his hands are cupping your face and his mouth is on yours. He kisses you feverishly, like he desperately needs you to prove your words to him. You kiss back without hesitation, wrapping your arms around his neck. It isn’t long before your back hits the wall and you let out a brief groan.
“Sorry,” he says, pulling away from you to check on you. “Are you—”
You don’t let him finish, pulling him back down against you. His hands move down to your waist, one of them slipping under your t-shirt to feel your bare skin. He’s kissing you slower now, more sensual, and he abandons your mouth to kiss down your jaw, then your neck, before he comes back to your lips.
“I shouldn’t—” he mumbles against you. “I’m not supposed to—”
“Everyone’s doing it,” you reply, but it doesn’t surprise you when he tears himself away from you. He’s a sight to behold, flushed and out of breath — and is it odd that you enjoy seeing him panting from kissing you when you know he can run for hours without struggling? He’s always been one to stick to the rules closely. It says a lot that he broke one right now, but you won’t push him any further, not until he’s ready.
You take a step back towards him, take his hand in yours, and press your lips to his cheek for one last, soft kiss.
“Don’t forget now,” you say. “You have me. Don’t risk your life without thinking.”
He doesn’t kiss you again, but he leans in to press his forehead against yours, squeezing your hand in his.
“I have you,” he repeats, as if to convince himself. “I have you.”
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I hope you liked it! as always, if you did, consider reblogging and letting me know what you thought! feedback is really motivating and is what keep us authors going, so leaving a comment or sending an ask or anything really helps to keep me writing!
more writing for sweet home
891 notes · View notes
aperrywilliams · 4 months
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I'm Sorry I Couldn't be Here for You Sooner (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
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Author Masterlist
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.
Summary: You have one of the worst days in a long time at work. When Spencer returns from an assignment to the BAU and sees your current state, he must do something.
Word Count: 2.8k
Warnings: Frustration/Hurt/Comfort. Just a self-indulgent rant. A lot of cuss words. Spencer is the best boyfriend in the world.
A/N: I just need Spencer to hold me now.
-----
The clock ticks and ticks, but the time seems to stand still. Even if you don't know how long you have been looking at that piece of wood, plastic, and metal, it feels like an eternity.
In the distance, a voice keeps throwing out words and sentences to which you should pay attention. However, even if you tried, looking at the clock on the wall is still more interesting than hearing Hotch talking about new protocols for field agents.
Still lost in your head, you don't notice the meeting is over and people are starting to leave the room. Only when someone squeezes your forearm. It's JJ.
"Are you okay?" she asks, eyebrows furrowed. You look at her and blink a few times.
"Uh- yeah," you mumble. 
Are you okay? No, you're not. But why bother others with that?
On second thought, this may be a chance to spill what's on your mind. JJ is usually a forthcoming and wise person. 
"Well, actually-" you begin, but before saying anything else, JJ cuts you off.
"That's nice. Because I want to ask you if you can babysit Henry tomorrow night. Will invited me to a romantic dinner, and our babysitter is sick. Hope it doesn't make much trouble to you?" the blonde probes.
Okay, you didn't expect that.
Not in the mood to turn the subject back to you, you say yes, and after thanking you, JJ quickly leaves the conference room. Alone with your thoughts for a few seconds, you wonder if the tightness in your chest isn't an exaggeration. You decide to forget about it and go back to your desk.
Opening a folder with the information on the last case, you are ready to write your report. But not too so far on it, Emily approaches you.
"Hey, how are you?"
You have doubts about how to answer the question. A few minutes ago, when JJ asked, you lied to her, and she didn't even notice. Maybe it's good to be honest.
"Actually, not so good," you sigh. And Emily raises an eyebrow. 
"Yeah? What happened?"
"I just don't know, I don't feel good," you try to explain. But you're not sure how to do it either.
"I'm sure it's something you can manage," Emily muses. "Look, whatever it is, have a drink when you get home today, relax a little, and I bet you'll be as good as new tomorrow!"
You open and close your mouth several times, trying to get a word out, but nothing comes to mind. 
A drink and relax? Is that simple?
You let out a hum, and that's enough for a response to Emily.
After wishing you good luck, she heads down the hallway, presumably to Garcia's office.
It's clear that Emily didn't grasp your actual emotional state, but you don't blame her either.
The last case was hard for everyone, so there is no reason to take it personally.
Focusing on your report again, you expect the sour mood surrounding you to fade eventually.
To finish your paperwork, you need to make copies of the reports. So you get up and head to the copy machine. After carefully placing the papers in the tray, you press the start button. When you think it will start copying, the machine stops mid-scan. You frown, and after a few seconds of nothing, you press the 'start' button again. Nothing. You do it again. And again. It's not working, and you feel your blood running hot.
By pressing the button again and again, anger comes.
"What the fuck is wrong with you stupid fucking machine!"
It's not enough to swat with force the button panel; now you're kicking the machine out of pent-up frustration.
"Whoa, whoa, stop right there, pretty girl."
Morgan steps between you and the machine, putting distance with his palms. And that's when you realize your outburst. Panting and still with the heat of rage on your cheeks, you are not yet satisfied.
"What the fuck, Morgan. Now you're defending a fucking copy machine?!" You hiss. Derek narrows his eyes to assess your current state. He's seen you mad, but it usually goes away easily. You are not a dense person.
"Okay, what's wrong, pretty girl? Since when do you unleash your frustration with pretty boy on inanimate things?"
Pretty boy. Spencer. Your boyfriend. Today, your boyfriend is conducting a cognitive interview with a convict in a DC jail—Hotch's orders. You wish he were here.
Morgan knows you usually laugh at his jokes, and even when you are in a bad temper, they help to light the mood.
Not this time, though.
"Don't talk about Spencer or me like that!" You snarl. "He doesn't have to do with any of this!"
Morgan doesn't like you are talking to him. Folding his arms over his chest, he let out an unamused scoff.
"Come on, don't you think you're overreacting here? Was this whole outburst only for a joke? What, are you four years old?"
You want to keep yelling, but a lump forms in your throat that is making it difficult for you to speak or even breathe. Morgan doesn't even wait for you to say something.
"You know what?" Morgan continues. "If you cannot stand the pressure of this job right now, maybe you should go home."
With that said and shaking his head in disappointment, Dereks leaves you there.
Stumped. Frustrated. Broken.
All the anger from moments before turns into an almost uncontrollable urge to cry. What have you done to these people? They are supposed to be your friends, your family. They are supposed to understand you and support you when you need them. And now that it's the time, they've only ignored you, minimized your problems, and even questioned your worth. Maybe Derek is right, and you should go home.
Defeated, you're strolling to your desk when Hotch peaks out of his office and gestures you to come.
Great, just what you needed now.
When you walk into your boss's office, he is already sitting in his chair, sternly looking at you.
"I won't ask you what's wrong with you today because it's your private life. However, I must remind you we are all professionals on this team. If you need time off, you have the right to get it, but I will not tolerate disrespect, like when you are distracted as I give fundamental instructions. If you don't pay attention, it could affect your work in the field and even put the lives of innocent people at risk."
If you didn't feel trampled before, now you feel like a ton of dirt was dumped on you.
You know Hotch can be sharp with words, but his ultimate goal is always to look after the team. But why does it feel like you're not part of that team right now?
"Do I make myself clear?"
With no more energy left in your body, you just let out a 'yes, sir.' Without waiting for another response, he sends you back to your desk.
It's already noon when you resume your work. Your mind spins at a mile an hour, and although it's hard, you force yourself to concentrate enough to get your job done, so at least the salary they pay you is worth it. 
Like a mollusk in its shell, you close yourself in that bubble and stop paying attention to your surroundings. It's your safe place—only you. 
In the distance, you feel your coworkers come and go. Never do you look up. Time goes by, and your throat feels dry from not speaking for hours.
Before everyone starts planning lunch, you are already picking up your lunch bag.
Social interaction is out of the table, so you are secluded in the building roof where an improvisated garden has benches. You sit alone, and the breeze helps to steady your breathing. As you open your Tupperware, you tentatively plunge the fork into the almost-cold pasta.
Even so, you're better here than in the bullpen minutes ago.
-----
Spencer walks through the doors of the BAU. It's 2 in the afternoon, so hopefully, the team is still having lunch in the conference room. Slightly worried that he wouldn't be able to reach you when he wanted to let you know he was on his way, he assumed that you had a lot of work and that your phone was mute.
Arriving at the conference room, Spencer scans the place and immediately catches something odd. You are not there. JJ, Prentiss, Morgan, Rossi, and Hotch are, though.
With an eyebrow furrowed, he asks, "Where is she?"
His teammates perk their heads up.
"Hello to you, pretty boy," Morgan teases.
"How was the interview?" JJ asks.
"Did you eat? You still can sit with us," Prentiss offers.
"Did you get the interview done?" Hotch asks with a raised eyebrow.
Spencer gets an uneasy feeling about what's going on. He knows you weren't feeling so okay this morning, and even if he tried to convince you to take a sick day, you didn't let him.
"Neither of you responded my question," Spencer points, voice harsher than when he asked first.
"(Y/N)? I thought she went home," Morgan muses.
"Why would she do that?" Spencer questions, alarmed. "Something bad happened?"
"She said she was okay when I asked earlier," JJ explains. "Maybe she has an errand to do."
"She was way distracted when we were at the meeting in the morning. She didn't listen a thing of what I said," Hotch adds.
"And you sent her home?" Spencer directs his question to Hotch.
"No, I didn't. She didn't ask it either when I called her to my office."
"You called her to your office? Did you reprimand her?" Spencer asks in disbelief.
"Of course, I did it, Reid. She did something disrespectful to the team," Hotch defends.
"And considering her rage moment directed to the copy machine, maybe it's better if she went home," Morgan supplies.
"Why are you being so dramatic, Reid?" Emily questions, very confused about why Spencer is so upset.
Spencer huffs, frustration running in his veins.
"Are you fucking kidding me right now? Did you ever realize she wasn't doing okay and nobody took her seriously? Yeah, sure, she said she was okay, but did you really check on her? Did you really ask her what was wrong? Did someone listen to her?"
The people in the room go silent after Spencer scolds them. 
Did they help in any way?
"You are unbelievable, and you call yourself profilers," Spencer huffs, turning to exit the room in search of you.
"What are you doing, Reid?" Hotch asks. No turning around to face his boss, and halfway out, Spencer replies.
"The thing you should have done in the first place. And I don't care if it doesn't fall protocol, I can give you my resignation letter tomorrow."
-----
When Spencer reaches the building roof and sees you sitting on one of the benches, he lets out a sigh of relief. He suspected you might be there, considering your things were still on your desk.
You can't see it since your back is turned. Your eyes look at the horizon without focusing on anything in particular.
The breeze is nice despite the November weather in Virginia.
Not wanting to scare you, Spencer slowly approaches you as he clears his throat. You turn around and see him standing a couple of meters away from you, but close enough to see your eyes red from crying.
You know he noticed it, and you avert his gaze.
You don't like the idea of ​​looking vulnerable right now. The morning was already catastrophic enough to explain your current state of mind to Spencer.
Spencer is a man of many words. He is known for his diatribes on any topic at hand. So you expect some kind of rant or even some statistical data about what could be happening to you.
But contradicting his very nature, he just silently approaches, takes your hand to get you up from the bench, and pulls you into a tight, comforting embrace.
And for the first time all day, you feel like you can actually breathe, and your chest isn't tight anymore. Words are not necessary; just being held like that is enough for now.
Spencer kisses the top of your head lovingly.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be here for you sooner. I'm sorry you had such a horrible morning," your boyfriend laments.
You shake your head, still buried in his chest.
Tears fight to come out from the corners of your eyes, and you no longer want to hold them back.
"Let it out, baby. Just let them out."
And that's what you do. For the first time all day, you allow yourself to cry without holding back. Spencer has you the entire time, rubbing your back soothingly.
"I don't know why I feel so bad, Spencer. I don't understand," you muffle your words into his embrace.
"It's okay, love. You don't have to explain to me, or anyone for that matter. There are days when we are not okay, and it's completely valid. Never think you don't have the right to."
Hearing Spencer say that relieves some of the pressure on your head, but you can't help but think about your teammates' words throughout the morning.
Separating yourself from Spencer to look at him, your eyes still denote your inner struggle.
"What if they are right? What if they are right when they say I shouldn't make so much fuzz and rather think about doing my job well?"
Spencer cups your cheeks so you can look at him.
"They are not. Okay? By any means, you are the most professional person I have ever met in my life. Not only that, you are also the most compassionate, selfless, and willing to help to the fullest extent of your capacity. Does JJ need help babysitting Henry? You don't think twice. Does García need assistance organizing a girls' night? You are the first one to be there. Does Hotch need to finish a stack of reports in one night? You offer to help him. Does Derek need a backup to kick his way into a place and catch the unsub? You're the first to watch his back."
You are indeed like that, and you do all that. But you've never seen it as something extraordinary. For you, being part of a team and a family means all that and more.
"And that doesn't even scratch the surface of what you have been to me.
My love, you have been the person who has entitled me to open my heart and love without reservation. You have taught me to trust and that asking for help when you feel bad is okay. You are the light of my life, and I swear I'll do everything in my power so you can see the wonderful person you are and that you deserve all the love and support in the world."
Without a doubt, Spencer has something with his words and eloquence. How can you not believe him? The veil of doubt indeed emerges from time to time, but having someone who is by your side showing you what is really important makes the doubts not cloud your path.
A shy smile appears on your face, your eyes filled with gratitude.
"There she is," Spencer whispers, stroking your cheek with love and never breaking eye contact.
"Maybe I should have listened to you this morning and called in sick," you sigh. Spencer kisses the top of your nose.
"I know you weren't going to do it anyway." 
You giggle because he's right. Spencer knows you too well.
"Lunchtime is almost over. We should come back to work," you remind him. Spencer pulls a face, and you raise an eyebrow at him. "What was that?" You inquire.
Spencer laughs nervously. "It's just I may or may not have made a scene in the conference room earlier, and I may or may not have offered my letter of resignation to Hotch if he didn't allow me to come find you."
"You did what? Spencer, oh my God!" you start laughing. "Does that mean there's a chance we'll both get fired today?"
Spencer thinks about that for a second.
"Honestly? I don't think Hotch would risk losing his two best agents," he decides, winking at you.
"Hope you're right, Dr. Reid. Hope you're right," you voice, grabbing his hand in yours and making the way back to the sixth floor.
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