#so yeah whatever I added maybe 20 extra issues and more than half of what I found was already on my list sooo.

[heroesriseandfall]

Forget my “I have to avoid adding too many other characters so I’m not stuck too long in New 52.” I gave in to temptation only to find out nobody’s really even anything outside of my default reading list. I barely added any new issues. Now that’s just kind of sad.

[theriverpersonshadow]

Lamia Drama: Side Session (2)

Like I said, this got suuuuuper long. Also, I have no idea if I can even live up to the potential chaos I’ve set up XD

All the species belong to @vex-bittys

Previous | Next(?)

           Nikolai had been rather thorough in his consideration for the troublemaker of the night. It sounded like the entire gimmick was to be around pygmy’s natural playfulness, so might as well play it up. Their games might have had some darker tones and general swearing, but they could tone it down for one night; a child would be best. But not too young. They needed to at least be old enough to comprehend that they were playing a game of make believe and hadn’t actually become a dragon or whatever silliness was going to happen.    

           So Piper was perfect. One of the older children, but still very much a child by both human and lamia standards. Really there were many candidates, Piper just caught his eye first, possibly because he was easy to pick out. He’d developed a mostly harmless condition where he had patches of scales on some of his bones, most notable on the forehead and back of his skull. It tended to itch a bit, but a little bit of extra hygiene and some topical creams fixed that right up. The little one wasn’t quite old enough to start looking for a home yet – socialization with other younglings was important for development after all – but he would be fine spending a few hours away from the others.  

           Piper was curled around Nikolai’s left forearm, little hands clinging to the fabric and tail coiled tight as he stubbornly hung upside down, giggling and chirping as the world went by. He was still small enough that falling wouldn’t actually hurt him even if he hit the floor.

           Nikolai stopped in front of the door, looking down at Piper, “Remember how the game goes?”

           Piper nodded, “I the boss!”

           Keith had decided that Piper would be a sort of Co-DM. It was going to be an interesting session…

           “Keith – the Chain – is also the boss. And remember, it’s all pretend, but pretend how you want.”

           “I knoooowwsss! Not a hatchling!” Piper huffed, pouting and glaring at Nikolai.

           Nikolai chuckled, “No, no you’re not.” He mentally added, but you’re not much older. “Tell me if it gets to be too much, okay?” He’d be keeping an eye out anyways – overstimulating a pygmy was harder than it might be with other breeds, but not impossible.

           “It won’t!” Piper chirped. “Go in now!” He was pawing at the underside of Nikolai’s arm, wiggling restlessly.        

           “Alright, alright,” Nikolai said, opening the door to the break room. Everyone else had already taken their seats, snacks and drinks at the ready. It looked like someone had already set out a cup of Chai tea for him. “Why thank you,” he said has he settled into his spot, setting Piper down to wander the table.

           Piper immediately went for Nikolai’s mug, curling around it and peaking inside. Before Nikolai could stop him, Piper stuck his tongue into it and hissed, darting away.

           “BIT ME!” Piper cried, glaring at the offending mug from behind his hiding place… which was ironically Alex’s cup of tea – green and hibiscus instead of chai.

           Nikolai sighed, reaching out to give Piper a few little pets, “It’s chai tea. I could’ve told you you might not like it. It’s spicy, bitter, and still hot.”

           “Why?” Piper said.

           “Um… because it has spices?” Nikolai said.

           “Why drink?”

           “Because I like it,” Nikolai said.

           “No,” Piper said, crossing his arms. He was now holding Alex’s drink hostage instead, but had the good sense to not dunk his tongue in immediately. “Lady’s smarter. Smells good!”

           “Aaaaw, thanks. That’d be the hibiscus. Gives it kinda a fruity flavor. Not sure if you’d want this either though. I don’t put sugar in it… And you might be a little young for caffeine at all, honestly?” Alex said. “Geez… and I though Trousle was small! You’re so little!”

           “Mm hmm. I’m cute,” Piper said, rolling over to show the softer scales of his underbelly. Alex squeaked at the cuteness, gently stroking the softer tissue as Piper purred.

           Oozy huffed and leaned over, gently headbutting Alex’s other hand. Alex chuckled and started petting him too… And then Trousle looked over, and Keith was trying to pretend he wasn’t, but Nikolai could see his tail trying to sneakily capture Alex in a snuggle.  

           “… I don’t have enough hands for all these lamia,” Alex said. “Who designed humans? I have some questions for them.”

           “Me too! You need more hands! For more cuddles! But you’re very warm, I like it!” Trousle said, slithering over to lay beside her arm.

           “You guys are so desperate,” Hux said with a deadpan expression. “It’s fu…” He looked over at Nikolai, who was giving him a death glare, hood fully spread and tail coiled, “…uuuuuuppernuttering embarrassing.”

           Piper laughed and, as children do, immediately chirped, “Fuppernutter!”

           “Fuppernutter,” Alex echoed.

           “What is a fuppernutter?” Trousle said, head tilted in honest confusion.  

Oozy said, “Is it related to peanut butter?”

           “Maybe it’s cousins with flutters or shutters,” Keith said.

           “Does it give nuts to fuppers?” Alex said.

           “I think I’m having a stroke,” Hux said, looking desperately to Nikolai.

           Nikolai smirked, leaning with his elbows against the table. “You brought this on yourself, now deal with it, you fuppernutter.”

           Hux let out a loud grown. “Whyyyyy… Ugh. Aren’t we here to, like, game? Let’s do that. Please.”

           Keith nodded, “Yeah, guess we are. Alright, let’s see the insanity! And remember, keep it clean.” He gestured to the kid. “Let’s start with… hmm… Nikolai?”

           Nikolai straightened up and pulled out the character sheet, “A level 10 sorcerer who believes magic isn’t real. I’ve named him… Steve.”

           “Steve?” Keith said, clearly trying to hold back a laugh. “Oh boy- heh… Why the heck is that funny? Oh my gosh.” He snickered into his hand as Nikolai rolled his eyes. It wasn’t that funny.

           “Alright. So we’ve got Steve. Hux?”

           “Eh… I figured I’d go rogue and go Rogue this time. Level 20 changeling thief!”

           “Branching out a little, eh? Sounds like fun!” Keith said, apparently not caring about the lack of name or any background info.

           Hux was going to steal absolutely everything from everyone, wasn’t he?

           “Alright, Trousle?”

           Trousle grinned and quickly sent something to Keith, notified by a little ring. Keith’s eyes scanned it, nodding along, then grew wider, then he started laughing, “Dude. I know it’s dungeons and dragons, but… Oh man. I love it.”

           “What?” Hux said. “C’mon, tell us!”

           Trousle had a proud grin as he typed, “I’m a level 14 half dragon, dragonborn weredragon monk taking path of the ascendant dragon.”

           “That is so much dragon,” Alex said. “I think he wins. He’s the dragon in Dungeons and Dragons. It’s him. He’s all the dragons.”

           “I don’t know if that’s legal, but I kind of hope it is,” Nikolai said.

           “The monk subclass is in playtesting still, and weredragons are from 2e. So very much no, but it’s a one shot and I do not care.” Trousle had his little arms on his hips as the voice app finished speaking for him.

           “Oh man. This is, oh boy,” Keith said.

           Piper was looking at Trousle in awe, “You’re dragon?!”

           Trousle shook his head, typing, “Not really. But my character is!”

           Piper nodded. “I pretend dragon too! RAAAAWR!!!!” He slithered over to Trousle and play-tackled him, chirping and giggling as Trousle snaked around the table in a little game of chase.

           While that was going on, Keith continued, “Alex? What about you?”

           “I’ve been meaning to try cleric, but, well… Personal issues, I guess. But hey, tricksters are awesome, so I’mma trickster cleric! Sounds like some fun little bit of chaos chaos,” she said. “Maybe I should’ve gone higher level… I’m only level 10.”

           “Nooooob,” Hux said, tail end twitching.

           “Nooooooooom!!!” Piper said. He’d managed to capture Trousle, getting a sort of impromptu piggy back ride on the other lamia. Trousle seemed more confused than distressed about this occurrence.

           “And… Oh boy. Do I even wanna know, Oozy?” Keith said.

           Oozy got a shit-eating grin as he passed a paper forward. “Memelord.”

           “A what?”

           “Found it online.”

           “… Oh thor have mercy…” Keith said.

           “Level 20.”

           “Why did I let you just make whatever.”

           “Because it’s hilarious.”

           “You’re never playing this again.”

           “That’s fine.”

           “You can pickpocket Anubis mid-combat.”

           “Yeeeep,” Oozy said. “It’s great, ain’t it?

           “You’re proficient in all the saving throws.”

           “You should know better than to tell me to go nuts.”

           “Whyyyyyy” Keith hissed, rubbing away an anatomically impossible headache.

           “Because it’s hiss-terical.” Oozy laughed out loud, and Kieth was trying to hide it, but he was joining in.

           “I’m never doing this again,” Keith said, blatantly lying as he did every single time he more or less told them to be as ridiculous as possible for a noncanon oneshot.

           “Yeah you are,” Hux said. “’cause you looooove us or something. Ya dork.”

           “Heh, could say the same about you.”

           “Nope. My soul’s just ice.”

           “Ice soul?” Piper said, looking up from the captive Trousle. “Doctor’s here! Tha’s bad! Gotta get you warmed! Get the fire!”

           “No. No fire,” Nikolai said. “He’s just being himself.”

           “Hmm… okay! We play now? I’m the highest! Level 40!” Piper chirped. “I win all the things! ‘Cause I’m the dragon! Or the dungeon!” He was lightly bouncing in place, hands outstretched.

           “Heh, there’s not really a win to this game… It’s just about having fun and playing pretend,” Keith said. “C’mon, I’ll let you on my side of the screen.” He gently scooped up Piper and draped him around his neck.

           “I have the tall!” Piper yelled. “FEAR ME!”

           “Oh nooooo!”

           “Alright here we go…”

Memelord is a joke class I found online.

I’m actually using Path of the Ascendant Dragon in a campaign! Or I’m planning to, haven’t started yet.

[darwindrawz]

GTFO Team 729 AU fic (no one should read this except Sky)

@skyllion-uwu here it is, sorry it took me so long to figure out how to get it here lmao

Some notes:

- if you are not Sky, please save me the embarrassment and don’t read this. If you do read this, don’t make fun of me for it.

-Tore is Italian-American and has extreme anger issues, Bright is a stuck up ex-spy German asshole, and they both hate each other (at least at first).

-The team is currently trying to find a way to a lab on the upper levels to retrieve a dna sample, but Tore insisted on navigating even though Bright is the scout and he got them lost. Bright then took the map files from him to prevent any further confusion, and they are still fighting about this.

Warnings: lots of swearing, some light angst, Flea being too pure for this world (or the gtfo world I guess)

——————————————————>>

The crackling of the team’s campfire nearly drowned out the screams of sleepers behind a nearby wall, but not enough to put Flea at ease.

He kept one hand on his gun, careful not to let the others see, lest they find out he wasn’t as tough as they all thought he was.

“I’m tellin you, we’ve been headin the wrong way for days now! We’ll never find our way outta this shithole if you don’t fuckin give me the map files!”

He rolled his eyes under his helmet. Tore and Bright were arguing again. Not that it was anything unusual; they were all under stress, and it didn’t help the two’s ongoing feud to be trapped in the same seemingly endless hallway for four days.

“Oh of course, because you know what you’re doing more than any of us do.” Bright snapped back. “Get a grip. You’re acting as immature as that mangy little kid.”

Flea perked up at that. Where was the kid, anyway? He had seen them while they were setting up camp, but now that they had a fire going it seemed that he had skulked off somewhere in the darkness surrounding them.

He stood up, eliciting a glance from Tore and Bright but no questions. “I’m gonna go find...” he trailed off as he realized neither of them were listening, his deep voice muffled by the sound of them chewing each other’s heads off.

“My fuckin rank is “tech”, dumbass! What do you think that means? THAT I’M IN CHARGE OF THE TECH.”

“Ach, verpiss dich!”

“CHE NE DICI DI FOTTERTI?!”

Flea sighed, picking up his gun and stepping into the shadows. Idiots. And he was supposed to be the big strong dumb one.

It wasn’t long before he heard Teeth’s raspy breathing coming from somewhere up ahead in the dingy hallway. Knowing better than to call out to him, he pulled out his flashlight and clicked it on and off several times, shining it at the opposite wall.

There was a pause, and then Flea heard the sound of hurried footsteps coming toward him. Just in case, he put a finger on the trigger of his combat rifle.

“Flea?”

Flea felt his shoulders relax as the kid came into view, holding his helmet in one hand and a nutrient block in the other.

“Hey kid. What’re you doing out here? It’s not safe.” He asked, lowering his flashlight as he realized it was shining directly in Teeth’s eyes.

He barked a gravelly laugh, his sharp teeth exposed. “This whole PLACE isn’t safe. Here is just extra not safe.”

Flea chuckled, shaking his head. Weird kid.

“What are you doing out here?” Teeth asked, spreading his scrawny arms to gesture at the dark hallway.

Flea sighed. “Tore and Bright are-“

“Fighting again.” Teeth groaned dramatically. “Yeah, yeah. What else is new.”

Flea smiled. “Yeah.”

“Hey!” Teeth exclaimed suddenly, making Flea jump. “You wanna see something cool?”

“Uh... sure? Whoah!” He yelled as Teeth grabbed his arm, dragging him into the dark shadow he had come out of at as fast of a pace as he was able.

Well, technically Teeth wasn’t dragging him. Flea was letting himself be dragged by someone half his height, mostly out of confusion and amusement.

Flea couldn’t tell where they were going, but before long he knew they had walked further than he and the others had scouted. The hall looked unfamiliar here, and the screams of sleepers gradually became distant and hushed.

Suddenly, after what Flea judged to be around 20 minutes of stumbling through the dark, Teeth stopped, bouncing on his toes as he grinned up at Flea. “TADA!”

Flea frowned confusedly, looking around. As far as he could see, there was nothing but a dark, empty, grey room with a large pile of old rubble in the center where the ceiling had caved in.

Even if there was nothing, at least there weren’t any sleepers.

He grunted as he felt Teeth’s sharp elbow dig into his side. “No, you big dummy! Up there!”

Flea followed his friend’s gaze, squinting against the light.

Wait, light?

“How...” he murmured in awe and confusion.

Teeth beamed. “Isn’t it great? And it’s MINE, cause I found it. If you climb on top, you can even see the sky-shiners!”

Flea looked down, confused. “Sky-shiners..?”

Teeth nodded vigorously. “Yeah! C’mere, lemme show you!” He said, grabbing Flea’s arm again and “dragging” him up the pile of concrete chunks and metal.

He let go of him once they had reached the summit of the tiny mountain, practically shaking with excitement as he pointed at the hole in the ceiling where the shaft of pale light streamed in. “There! Look!”

Flea took off his helmet, breathing in the fresh air that had somehow, miraculously, found its way to them. He looked up, his mouth falling open in awe as he looked from Teeth to the night sky above them. They must have gotten so lost they somehow ended up in one of the upper levels.

Which explained a lot. Tore had the sense of direction of a blind cow.

“That’s somethin else.” He smiled, feeling peace for the first time in days uncountable as he observed what Teeth had called the “sky-shiners”.

Stars. He means the stars. Poor kid probably either has never seen em, or doesn’t remember what they are.

He glanced at Teeth, who was squinting at the light with a look of pure, unfettered joy on his face. “How’d you find this place?”

Teeth’s face fell and he hesitated, shrugging. “I dunno.” He mumbled. “Just sorta bumped into it I guess.”

Flea raised an eyebrow. “You just happened to bump into a room half a mile away from camp?”

Teeth squirmed under his gaze, picking at the scar that ran across his face without giving an answer.

“Teeth...”

“Alright fine!” Teeth gave in, sighing as he plopped down on the rubble pile cross-legged. “I was tryin to run away, but I got distracted.”

Flea’s eyes widened in surprise. “Run away? To where???”

Teeth shot him a look. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead, ok?!”

Flea stared at him, half in shock and half in sadness that Teeth would just run off like that. They were friends, so he had thought.

He sat down next to him, thinking for a moment before speaking again.

“Why’d you wanna run away?”

Teeth glanced at him. “You wouldn’t get it.”

He scoffed, smiling gently. “Try me, kid.”

His friend sighed, planting his chin in his hands as he stared at the sliver of navy sky above them. “I... I guess I just got sick of it all. Y’know, Tore and Bright fighting, non being able to spit without hitting a sleeper, bein scared all the time... d’you not get tired of all that shit sometimes?”

Flea paused, thinking about his answer. “I do... but we have no other choice. We do what the Warden says, or we’re not around to receive it’s orders. And... even if Tore and Bright are a bit much sometimes, they’re all we’ve got, y’know? You’re all I’ve got. I can’t just give that up.” He finished, smiling passively at the sky.

Teeth was silent for a while, before he burst out laughing. “Wow.” He said in between cackles. “You’re a big cheesy idiot, y’know that?”

Flea laughed. “Maybe. That’s just my opinion though.”

They both went silent for a while, before finally Teeth spoke again in a quieter voice.

“Flea.”

“Mm.”

“D’you think I’m a mutt?”

Flea looked at him confusedly. “What?”

Teeth shrugged, chewing at one of his fingernails. “I dunno. Bright and Tore talk ugly. They say I’m some kinda animal.“

He raised his eyebrows, making a mental note to pound the others into a bloody paste later. “That’s just stupid.”

“Nah. Maybe they’re right. I only got one brain cell, according to Bright. Whatever that means.” He said, flopping down onto his back with a sigh.

“Kid, that’s not true. You might be a little... charismatic at times, but you’re not a mutt. Tore and Bright are the ones with only one brain cell. Whatever that means.” Flea added, smiling at him.

Teeth sniffed. “You’re pretty cool, Flea. Maybe I’ll stick around a while, since you’re not goin nowhere. Besides, how am I gonna prove I got uh... a lotta brain cells if I never see the others again?”

He laughed. “That’s a good point. Maybe you’ll even teach them a thing or two.”

“Yeah.” Teeth grinned.

“Do you want to go back to camp now?”

“Depends. D’you think they’ll be done fighting?” He shrugged.

Flea laughed. “Heh. Never. Maybe they’ll have their panties in less of a twist, though.”

Teeth stood up, dusting off his hands. “Well c’mon then. I got places to be, the team’s not gonna annoy itself.” He joked, looking at an imaginary watch on his wrist and cackling.

He smiled, standing and putting his helmet back on. “Lead the way.”

As his friend took off enthusiastically down the dark hallway, Flea turned and savored one last glimpse of the moon. He missed it; being on the surface. The fresh air, and trees, and no constant petrifying fear of whether or not you’d make it to the next day.

But as he followed Teeth down the twisting concrete passage, and heard the sound of Tore and Bright’s bickering accented voices begin to grow louder, he felt the longing and sadness drain from his weary body. They were his family now, and it was his job to keep them together. And if he was going to die in a dark, filthy, sleeper-ridden shithole, he was going to do it fighting for them.

“Where were you?” Bright asked impatiently, looking up as he and Teeth stepped back into the comforting circle of warmth around their fire.

Teeth snorted. “That’s real sweet, Bright. I didn’t expect you to notice we were gone.”

Flea shot him a silencing look. “We found a way forward.”

Teeth frowned. “We did?”

“Are you serious?” Bright asked, raising his eyebrows.

He nodded. “Teeth found a way to the upper levels. Just where we need to go to get to the labs.”

Bright turned to Teeth skeptically, looking him up and down. “This mutt found a way up that we couldn’t find in four days of scouting?”

“He’s not a mutt.” Flea growled, causing Bright to look back away with a frightened expression on his face. “And yes. Now are you two gonna sit here squawking like an old married couple, or are we going to get out of here?”

Bright glanced at Tores, who flipped him off briefly before nodding at Flea. “Sounds good to me. Let’s go.”

He looked down at his friend, who was shifting uncomfortably under the multitude of eyes locked on him. Flea patted him on the back, smiling even if Teeth couldn’t see it through his helmet. “You’re in charge, kid. Lead the way.”

Teeth grinned, puffing out his chest slightly as the power visibly went straight to his head. “Follow me, assholes!”

Bright and Tore reluctantly followed him as he took off sprinting down the hallway, nearly tripping several times in his excitement. Flea brought up the rear, stomping out their fire as he followed after them, smiling.

Back on the move again, and no sleepers chasing them this time. It looked like everything was going to be ok.

For now, at least.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

“The Lion King” (2019) - Thoughts/Review

So my sister, Ciara, and I went and saw the remake of The Lion King at the cinema where I work since I get free tickets and I didn’t really want to have to pay £20 just to watch a film I could easily watch at home. To add, my sister has been super sick recently and I felt it might be nice to treat her - even though she has been saying for weeks “they’ve ruined it, I can tell”. The original Lion King is Ciara’s favourite movie and we actually rewatched the original on Friday because it’s one we both love.  Ciara and I went in with absolutely zero expectations, thinking “it’ll be absolutely shit” based on what we’ve seen trailer/advert/clip wise.

I’m going to put my thoughts/feelings under a “read more”, just to be safe. Also, reminder that it’s just my opinion and that I can’t tell other people how to feel about the film.

So...it wasn’t as terrible as we expected it to be but it wasn’t a masterpiece like the original either.

They could have just reused the original “Circle of Life” as it was, really, but whatever.

Having said that, they could have frankly just lifted the entire audio of the animated film and animated the film to it instead of bringing in other cast members.

One of the first things my sister said was “where the fuck is Rafiki’s staff?”, and she kept saying it throughout the film, like it REALLY annoyed her that he didn’t have his stick with him the entire time.

Ciara said that the opening was the best part for her personally, I don’t know if that’s because nostalgia or because there was no talking, but that’s her thought on it.

BABY SIMBA IS SO SWEET OH MY GOODNESS

I love James Earl Jones but for some reason he just sounded...rather unbothered here. Like he was bored. Maybe it’s because hes old(er) now and he just doesn’t have the energy for it, maybe I was comparing his vocal performance here too much to his original one in 1994, but for some reason he just didn’t sound at all bothered or like the wise powerful King you can respect and fear.

I didn’t hate Scar’s new voice but I did feel like Jeremy Irons’ performance had more character to it, more sass/sarcasm. Here he just seemed a little..I don’t know. It was a little less sassy, if that makes sense.

It honest to God does feel like watching a nature documentary, like I was half expecting fucking David Attenborough to suddenly start talking over it to be honest. 

Baby Simba reminded me of our cat, Dave, and he was admittedly very cute. I also really loved the things that the lions did that reflected actual cat behaviour, like pouncing and stuff like that. 

Is it just me or did the filmmakers have the same issue as the original did in that they couldn’t decide what colour Nala’s eyes were? Like at one point I was like “oh, they’re actually green, cool”, but then in the next scene I was like “they’re brown?!” etc. 

I liked the hyenas in this, I like that they were allowed to make actual hyena cackles because real hyena cackles are creepy as fuck. I also really loved Shenzi, even if I do wish they’d brought Whoopi Goldberg back.

During “I just can’t wait to be King”, I couldn’t help but feel like it paled in comparison to the original. I know I’m talking about the original a lot, but that’s the issue with these remakes - they will always be compared to their original films. In the original, the cubs were jumping on top of animals, making big gestures, the colours were bright etc. Here it was just two cubs running around a watering hole, the colours just...normal. Muted even. The vocals were fine, but compared to the original it just wasn’t the same. 

My sister wanted to know why they didn’t bring back Rowan Atkinson as Zazu and I kind of have to agree. I found his woodpecker joke funny though.

I stand by what I said about Simba and Nala as cubs looking too similar. In the wild, yeah, that might be the case but this is a movie - the audience should be able to tell who is who. Eventually I think I understood which cub was which but that was only because they were talking and Simba is nearly-always in front. 

Nala’s “Simba, do you speak bird” had my sister giggling though, so there’s that.

There were moments where I could see the animals expressing some emotion but for the most part it was very uncanny. It was like those voices shouldn’t have been coming out of lions - which is kind of the point. That’s why the Lion King on screen works better as an animation instead of realistic CGI.

I’m assuming that they changed Ed a bit to be more politically correct since in the original he was a bit...not quite there. 

Unless they were talking, I could not tell which hyena was supposed to be which. The original three hyenas had very clear differences in their designs, whereas here they all look the same.

I did like the “Kings of the Past” scene under the stars - I think my sister and I both agree that it was very sweet.

Having said that, it went from broad daylight to dark as night in about two seconds and I can’t stand it because it should have been FAR more gradual.

Let’s have a moment of silence for “Be Prepared”. Somehow the best song from the original is the worst one in the remake because they cut 90% of it and turned it into a weird chant. It just makes it even more glaringly obvious that Jeremy Irons was a better Scar, to be honest. The beat is good but goddamit, the song deserved better.

I know Disney changed it because the original “Be Prepared” had sort of Nazi undertones but like...isn’t that the point? Scar is an evil dictator, it’s not like he’s a good guy. It’s like changing Chicken Run so that the farm isn’t operated like a concentration camp - it ruins the whole point.

I could be wrong but did they not use the “Mufasa has something he didn’t have before...a weakness” line? Because that was the line I heard in the adverts and thought was a good addition. 

THE GORGE SCENE JFC

Not gonna lie, I kinda miss Scar knocking Zazu out - though I suppose it makes sense for Zazu to get the lionesses (and where the frick were they then?!)

I audibly gasped when Mufasa was knocked over trying to help Simba off the tree branch like I KNEW what was coming but it genuinely still gets to me.

Mufasa REALLY had to jump carefully down the gorge, huh

Mufasa’s death gave me mixed feelings to be honest; the delivery of “Long Live the King” was disappointing. Like in the original it’s slowly said, so evil it gives you chills, whereas here it’s so...meh. And I had to try not to laugh still because I turned to my sister and just said, “...Did Scar just bitch-slap Mufasa off a cliff?!”

Okay, Simba in the gorge and finding his dad’s body, him calling for help... god fucking damn it. My sister was openly crying and saying “for fuck sake, I’ve seen the original a hundred times and it still gets to me!”. I was crying too...it’s just something about that baby lion calling for help as his dad lies dead on the floor...shit, it gets to you.

It also helps that Hans Zimmer composed the soundtrack again - it’s beautiful, but I think that because we’ve heard it before and associate it with the original, it adds to the feelings. Like I hear the “Stampede” soundtrack and immediately I think of Simba crying for help. 

I wish they had showed more fear on Simba’s face when Scar told him to run away - in the original, his ears are down, his eyes are wide, his posture/stance is clearly showing he’s terrified. Here he just looks a little...surprised.

OKAY BUT HOW DID SIMBA END UP ON THE LOWER PART OF THE CLIFF?! I DON’T...HOW?!

The imagery of Scar walking onto the ledge of Pride Rock as the hyenas surround the other lions is still super powerful, to be honest.

I wish Zazu had been trapped like in the original, like that was comedy gold and they missed it.

Disney really couldn’t have brought back Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella huh -_-

Look, I’m not a huge fan of Seth Rogen anyway - Sausage Party HAUNTS me to this day - but usually in voice over I find him more bearable. Not that I hate him that much but still... I would have felt ten times more generous about his Pumbaa voiceover if he hadn’t done his laugh. We ALL know the Seth Rogen laugh.

I still liked the dynamic between Timon and Pumbaa, even if my sister felt it wasn’t the same. 

Some absolutely GOLDEN lines were cut, and it should be a crime:  “he looks blue” “I’d say goldish-brown”.

THANK GOD they kept in “what’s a-motto with you?” though

“I got downhearted every time that I...farted, are you gonna stop me?!” “NO I AM NOT, YOU DISGUST ME” - wHAT. I mean...what?!

I’m glad there were a few other animals living in the jungle other than Timon and Pumbaa, like it makes more sense that there’s others living there. Having said that, I also liked the idea of them having this utopia to themselves in the original so...yeah.

My sister pointed out that the Timon-Pumbaa-Simba relationship was severely lacking in this film. In the original, you could tell that Timon and Pumbaa loved Simba dearly and that he was seen as a total equal. Here they seemed so much stand-offish even after living with him for so long.

“Yeah, you’ve grown 400 pounds since we started” - LMFAO THIS WAS A GOOD LINE OKAY

“Oh now he’s riffing” - honestly same, was it necessary XD

Ciara felt that the added scene showing Nala/the lionesses in the Pridelands/Nala leaving was unnecessary. In the original, you feel the shock with Simba when he returns because it’s the first time you see what a wasteland it has become. Here you don’t have that. It was clearly just to fill some extra time and get their money’s worth out of Beyonce, milking it for all they have.

The tension in that scene was nice though, and I sort of liked how a) Sarabi rejected Scar and b) how this was then a catalyst for Scar saying “the hyenas eat before the lions...but they don’t leave much behind”. Good addition that was.

Was the additional exposition showing a tuft of Simba’s mane journeying really necessary? Like we didn’t need to see a giraffe fucking eat it or a dung beetle rolling a ball of shit with the mane inside of it. Like come on, Disney, really? They clearly just wanted to show off that they could pull it off.

What’s that quote Jeff Goldblum says in Jurassic Park (I think?)? “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should”. THE SAME GOES FOR THE PEOPLE AT DISNEY, JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN, DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD

How did Rafiki see a random tuft of hair and immediately go “FUCK YEAH IT’S SIMBA HE’S ALIVE”, like he didn’t smell it (it would have smelt of shit though) or anything, he just looked at it and was like “SIMBA IS ALIVE”. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT.

“The Lion Sleeps Tonight” was a fucking delight, and my sister and I both sung/danced along to it, no regrets.

I jumped so hard when Nala just came out of nowhere and interrupted the song to be honest

The close-ups of Timon’s face in this film are hilarious to be honest - creepy but hilarious.

HOW DID NALA REALIZE IT WAS SIMBA RIGHT AWAY?! In the original she was like “who are you?” but now she just knew?! SHE THOUGHT SIMBA WAS DEAD BUT SHE SEES A RANDOM MALE LION AND IMMEDIATELY KNOWS THAT’S HER OLD BEST FRIEND WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD?! FUCK OFF

“Can You Feel the Love Tonight”...hmmm. Sorry, I gotta have a whole separate section for this.

Firstly...TONIGHT. CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT, DISNEY. IT’S AT NIGHT TIME. IN THE EVENING. AT LEAST PUT A FUCKING SUNSET OR SOMETHING TO SHOW IT’S EVENING.

Don’t get me wrong, the animation was beautiful, but jesus christ, it’s set at NIGHT TIME. How do you fuck that up?! It’s literally IN the damn song.

My sister and I are really not Beyonce fans, I’m sorry. Ciara literally leaned over and whispered “I’m going to sing the song myself to block out Beyonce”, that’s how much she despised it.

Look, Beyonce is a singer and yeah, she’s a strong singer. No one is disputing that. Do I think she’s overrated? Absolutely, but I can admit she can sing. She is NOT a voice actress and she should NOT be voicing a character like Nala. Every time she spoke, I just missed Moira Kelly’s performance from the original even more.

Beyonce’s voice just doesn’t fit the song. She was overpowering Donald Glover far too much - it was like he was a backup singer in a song meant to be a duet. A duet is supposed to have the two voices melding together and harmonizing to create a beautiful sound - not one person taking over and making it all about them

Okay but why the fuck does Seth Rogen sound like Kermit right at the end of the song? 

Anyway, moving on back to the rest of the film:

Another moment of my sister saying “BUT WHERE IS HIS STICK, HE HAS TO WACK PEOPLE WITH IT”

Disney really cut out the stick metaphor where Rafiki hits Simba and says “it hurts, yes, but it’s in the past”. Like COME ON DISNEY. That’s one of the key moments for god’s sake!

So they could animate Simba’s mane-hair being rolled along the ground in giraffe shit but NOT Mufasa in the clouds? LMFAO OKAY WHATEVER

Jesus Christ Disney, did you HAVE to put that “Spirit” song over Simba going back to the Pridelands?! It just a) doesn’t fit the scene and b) comes out of nowhere. Like nowhere else in the film is there a moment like that, so why now? 

Unpopular Opinion: “Spirit” is a bad song and my sister agrees. Everyone’s kissing Beyonce’s ass about it but me, my mum and my sister have all on separate occasions heard it and said “wow that’s fucking shit”. 

I miss the slo-mo of Simba running through the desert more than ever. Couldn’t we have just had a recreation of that scene with the same music and NOT Beyonce’s random song ruining it?

I had a feeling they would cut out the Hula dance thing but it still annoys me because that is ICONIC

My sister and I were both far too happy when Rafiki took his stick out of the tree, like we were like “FINALLY”

Instead Timon and Pumbaa start singing “Be Our Guest” and like...Why?! Is this a joke just for Disney fans? BATB and TLK aren’t even set in the same continent, for a start, let alone being a part of the same story, so how the hell does Timon know it? I mean, it’s hilarious if you’re a Disney fan but just...why? It makes absolutely zero sense. 

Sarabi still manages to be a badass Queen and I love it

The vocals during the big reveal scene really weren’t anywhere NEAR the standard of the original, especially on Scar’s part. It just felt so weak compared to Matthew Broderick and Jeremy Irons, to be honest.

Why...Why does Nala suddenly have beef with Shenzi? Just...yeah, Shenzi and like 50 other hyenas tried to eat Nala (and Simba) as a cub but like...why does Nala suddenly have personal beef with her based on that one interaction? They don’t even LOOK at each other again until this moment in the film.

The battle was cool, I guess, but maybe I’m just super blood-thirsty and gory so...who knows. The Simba/Scar fight was especially good.

I wish Rafiki using his stick was more karate/martial arts like the original, here it’s just like he’s flailing it about randomly

I did like that they reused the part where Scar basically flings smoldering soot/ash/rock into Simba’s face. Like that’s the kinda dirty tactic I live for.

“You were right about one thing, Scar...a hyena’s belly is never full” - OH SHIT, MY WIG WAS SNATCHED OH MY LORD WHAT A LINE

The hyenas eating Scar is so dark in the original and it’s even darker here because it looks so real, like I genuinely felt horrified watching it even though you don’t see anything.

Towards the end when Simba nuzzled two of the lionesses, I couldn’t tell which one was supposed to be Sarabi and which was supposed to be Nala.

THAT MUSIC AS SIMBA BECOMES KING, THANK YOU HANS ZIMMER FOR NOT LETTING US DOWN 

Okay but I genuinely want to know if the baby cub at the end is Kopa, Kiara or Kion. Disney can’t seem to make up their minds about Simba and Nala’s cub so...yeah. It could literally be any of them at this rate.

I had no idea that the first credits song was Elton John, and I miss his renditions of Circle of Life/Can You Feel the Love Tonight even more, like those are arguably two of the best Elton John songs.

THEY USED “He Lives in You” AS AN END CREDIT SONG AND I WANT TO WATCH THE LION KING 2 AGAIN

So here’s the thing...it wasn’t as horrendous as I thought it would be, and Ciara agrees. Ciara is arguably the one to ask about Lion King matters since it’s literally her favourite film (having said that, for the longest time I thought her favourite was Tangled so...). It was nowhere near the standard of the original, and you could definitely just stay at home and watch the original and get more out of it then paying £30 at the cinema (far more if you’re a family). Some of the jokes fell sort of flat, some of them worked, it was a bit of a mix. 

For the most part, the new voices weren’t too bad but none of them were better than the original voice actors. I honestly don’t understand why they didn’t bring back Matthew Broderick, Moira Kelly, Nathan Lane, Jeremy Irons, Rowan Atkinson, Ernie Sabella, Whoopi Goldberg etc. Obviously I know at least two of the original voice actors died (the ones for Sarabi and Rafiki) but why replace the ones who are still alive? I just...I don’t understand to be honest. Having more members of the original cast would have definitely triggered nostalgia for the adults watching the trailer/adverts and made them want to watch it more. 

I didn’t hate it as much as I expected to. I don’t think I would want to pay to see it again (so if I do end up seeing it again, it’ll probably be at my place and for free) but it was cute and I can understand why parents would want to bring their kids to watch it. I did feel super nostalgic but afterwards, I kind of just wanted to go home and watch the original again. And I literally rewatched it three days ago. 

It’s definitely not a masterpiece like the original was - none of the remakes are up to the standard of their original movies, but The Lion King is definitely nearer the bottom of my list in terms of how good a movie it is. Like I said, it wasn’t anywhere near as terrible as I thought it would end up being - I fully expected to want to leave halfway through and to have a raging headache, but that was not the case. It was a fine way to pass the afternoon, no doubt, and I think I ate too much food whilst I was there, but other than that...yeah, you get the idea.

If nothing else, it has adorable lion cubs in it so that’s a big plus I guess.

[impurelight]

So I Finally Flashed A Custom Rom On To My Mi 9T

I wrote about my experience with the Mi 9T. And there I could see the problems with Mi 9T but the phone was so good I wanted to ignore them. But they finally bothered me enough that I had to switch. Specifically these were the problems:

No notifications on the lock screen

The phone app would not close immediately after hanging up which would drive me crazy

Not being notified of calls on my Mi Band 4. SMS would work for whatever reason. But not calls. (Turns out this was a problem with the band, not MIUI. Just had to factory reset the band and it started working)

Notification spam (not ads, but annoying 'cleaner' notifications)

So I had quite a few problems when flashing a custom ROM. So I'd like to share those with you now in the hopes someone reads this and learns something.

Flashing TWRP

So I started to follow this guide. I say started because half way through it stopped working. Specifically the command fastboot reboot recovery. Turns out this command does not exist. I don't know if ADB removed this command after this guide was written but looking at fastboot reboot --help shows the only reboot commands are fastboot reboot bootloader (which I haven't tried but apparently boots you to fastboot which you should already be at so it's useless) and fastboot reboot emergency which boots the phone into EDL mode which appears to be not what I want.

I originally though this was a problem with the version of TWRP I was running because apparently there was some complicated chart about which TWRP you can use with which rom. So I used this TWRP from mar-on-o-fry-o. Or is that free-o? Anyways this is the Mi 9T rom which is codenamed 'Davinci'. There is a very similar TWRP by the same dev for 'Raphael'. That is for the Mi 9T Pro. They're different. The Mi 9T Pro one will not work for a Mi 9T and presumably vice versa.

So how do we get over the fastboot reboot recovery issue? Well, it's simple. We have to boot into recovery without using fastboot. Easy enough. Except not really. Because if you accidentally boot into MIUI it will revert the recovery back to stock. Bye bye TWRP. So that shouldn't be too hard. Oh, did I forget to mention when you exit fastboot the phone will automatically boot into MIUI? So, yeah. Pretty annoying. The solution is from fastboot to hold down the power and volume up button and keep holding it down until you see TWRP. Do not release when you see the Mi logo. That is a trick.

So that was a long convoluted process to install TWRP. But once you have TWRP everything is easy. What's that Linus quote? "With enough TWRP all bugs are shallow." Yeah, something like that.

Also when it says in the guide to 'format data' you actually have to do that step. It's not like some optional extra bit.

Havoc OS 2.9

So I installed Havoc OS 2.9. And I hated it. The fingerprint sensor was so bad it would only work like once in every 20 tries. And it would constantly flicker the brightness when trying to scan my fingerprint for some reason. But after a while of using it, it calmed down. (Although the brightness still occasionally flickers). I realized that the way you have to deal with the fingerprint sensor is to train it at maximum brightness. Then it will work reliably. Now it's even better than MIUI if I say so myself. It works every time. Like literally every time - even when my finger is slightly wet (although after extended use its reliability seems to be closer to 95-99%). And it's fast too.

Although that fingerprint icon (which appears on the lockscreen and ambient display) has a few problems. For instance when you lock the phone you can see it appearing for some reason and when you unlock the phone it jumps by like 1 pixel. Weird. Then there's Google Camera which I had trouble getting running. Eventually I installed this one called 'PMGC_7.0.009_Astrophotography_Version_V7.apk' from this thread which appeared to work.

Some other problems: there's is no quick settings toggle for automatic brightness. Which can be annoying as the automatic brightness keeps on changing in low brightness situations. Oh, also the quick settings at the top when you swipe down (when you see notifications and before it's expanded) displays a minimum of 7 icons. This was something that also bugged me in MIUI too. It's just so busy. Well, now I only have 5 icons total in the quick settings panel so that's how I deal with it. And the colours look a bit oversaturated at the normal mode. Not a lot, not enough to be bothersome. But it looks a bit weird.

Also one thing that I really started noticing is the vibration motor. It's really bad. I noticed it before but it wasn't that much of a problem because it rarely triggered. But for some reason whenever you have to go home, back, or to recents Havoc has to trigger it. And it is hella annoying. It hardly vibrates the phone at all and makes a ton of noise. It's the worst vibration motor I've ever had in a phone. Even worse than my Mi A1. I'm tempted to just disable it but the most granular control I can do is disable it for all touches which apparently means 'everything except calls' which is a little extreme.

Also the navigation options are... sub par. Havoc has stock navigation gestures. Which means that pill thing. It has pie and this new one that's like the pill I've never seen before. Also OnePlus gestures although there's no animation so I found it hard to use them. So I ended up installing this app called FNG. It stands for Fluid Navigation Gestures (not F**king New Guy) and was made by Francisco Barroso. Not the guy behind the Franco kernel, that's another guy. Man, there are a lot of developers named Francisco. At least more than you'd expect. Anyways it works surprisingly well. It has quite a lot of things you can do: swipe up from the left, right, and center, swipe left, and swipe right. You can even disable vibration on the navigation gestures. There's even an option to not need duplicate swipes when exiting a full screen app which I've complained about before. The only problem is it makes it harder to tap buttons on the edges of the screen. But that's always a problem with these navigation gestures.

Next up I really like the 'revert settings' icon. Basically when you touch a slider you get the revert icon. And if you tap on it you get the default value. You have to tap and hold to revert it back to default. A nice touch. And also I think the notifications have been redone. They're pretty nifty min-toasts. I also like how it has the 'expanded screenshots'. Basically it'll automatically scroll and take screenshots of the entire page. This is the first time I used it and it's really cool mostly because the process is fully automated. It's triggered when you take a normal screen shot and choose 'expand'.

So the customizations. Most of them are under the option Havoc Settings - Wreak Some Havoc. Which, I mean, is not the worst pun you could have made. Still pretty bad though. And there are a ton of options here. More than any other rom I've tried. Although some - maybe even most - are a bit unnecessary (I don't even know what they do) and many of them require a soft reboot to use.

And there's a few inconsistencies such as the fact that there's an ambient display and an always on display. Don't know why they don't just combine them. Especially as each one has a separate quick settings toggle. Also some options like the ambient display exist in two places. One in Havoc settings and on in Display. I'm using the one in Display because its raise to display notifications is faster for some reason.

Also another one is double tap to wake vs double tap to enter ambient mode. Speaking of double tap to wake it does not work out of the box. Apparently you need to use a Magisk module to get it to work. Magisk definitely did not exist in my Mi 9T days. Basically it's sort of like Root and Xposed rolled up into one and it works pretty well. So I just installed the module and everything started working.

But most of the customizations are pretty standard although comprehensive. Just keep in mind the required one is 'Statusbar padding' which you definitely have to use because the default padding of 0 is ugly. I use 12. And you can adjust the lock screen shortcuts which I missed in other roms. There's also smart charge (charge to max 80%). I haven't seen this since I had a netbook and found the option in the bios. Don't know why people don't include this setting more often. Also noteworthy is that there are a ton of 'recents options. Or that's 'multitasking switcher' if you're so inclined. I'm currently using slim which displays all the apps on the right and some have previews. Pretty nifty.

Oh, also there's an option to increase the number of volume steps. It's under 'buttons' for some reason. It's pretty useful especially as the default media sound is way too loud.

So how does it compare with MIUI? I'm not really sure. I mean, the only real reason I flashed this rom was because I wasn't getting notifications on my Mi Band 4. But apparently that wasn't related to MIUI.

So it doesn't do as much nonsense like hiding notifications on the lockscreen. But there are some things about MIUI I miss. Key among them is that there's a fingerprint icon which appears as you turn off the screen in MIUI. You can technically do the same thing in Havoc with the always on display but it's just not the same. It's just not as sensitive to moving the phone as MIUI and it's way too bright.

But this rom has a lot of features. More than MIUI. But it's not very stable. I mean, it's stable enough, but there are some annoyances I have. I think I'm going to keep this rom because it's not that much better or worse than MIUI. At least until a stable Android 10 rom is released with working bluetooth and does not require you to dirty flash over MIUI 11 with Android 10.

Edit:

Here's my thoughts on Havoc 2.9 for the Mi 9T in list view.

Likes:

Revert settings option

Charge to 80%

Granular volume controls

There's a neat little charging animation. MIUI's would take up the whole screen if the phone was off which is a bit annoying.

Neat toast animation

Scrolling screenshots

Slim recents

Fast fingerprint reader (perhaps even faster than MIUI)

Annoyances:

No autobrightness toggle

Too many icons in notification shade settings

Gestures navigation is disappointing (no animations for them)

Doesn't pad notifications by default

Bugs:

Double tap to wake does not work without a Magisk module

Upon viewing certain websites the selfie camera will pop out. MIUI did this to but the camera would immediately retract. Havoc does not retract the camera forcing me to go into the camera app and toggle selfie mode

In low brightness situations the autobrightness will sometimes (rarely) go back and forth between brightnesses ever few seconds

Sometimes after turning on the screen it will be stuck at 100% brightness until the screen is turned off and on again. Very rare and easy to deal with though

Colours look a bit oversaturated and display options don't do anything but I got used to them

Screen flickers when using finger print sensor on lock screen for some reason (minor)

Fingerprint icon is visible when locking the phone and the screen off animation plays

Fingerprint icon shifts by about 1 pixel upon waking the phone (barely noticeable)

[zell-dincht]

It's High-namura Noon

Chapter 5 Words: 3116 Summary: Hanzo must finally confront his feelings for McCree Warnings: Eh, alcohol and kissing, nothing crazy yet Notes: I seem to have this thing where I plan to finally make the characters bang, but then I decide naaahhhh, time to suffer more Check out the rest on AO3!!!)

———

The next morning, Hanzo woke up to an empty bed.  He cursed himself for the disappointment he felt over the fact that Jesse had already gone off somewhere.  Whatever thoughts he had the night before needed to stop before he did something he might regret.

Being alone helped Hanzo clear his mind, but the peace and quiet didn’t last very long.  The door burst open and the cowboy swept into the room with a drink carrier in one hand, and a plastic bag hanging from his wrist.

“Hey, sleepin’ beauty.  ‘Bout time you woke up, and I didn’t even get a kiss,” Jesse shamelessly flirted as he set down the drinks and pulled a box out of the bag.  “Brought some coffee, donuts, and kolaches for breakfast.”

The cowboy gave an exaggerated pout.  “Thought you might want some breakfast.”

“I don’t mean that, I just–”  Hanzo sighed, worried he might seem ungrateful or impolite, so he dropped the issue for now.  “Thank you.”

He reached for what he thought was a plain pastry, but as he took a bite, he was taken off guard by the savory flavor, rather than the sweetness he had been expecting.  His eyes widened and he closely examined what was in his hand.  The soft pastry bun didn’t contain any sugary filling, but rather, a sausage covered in melted cheese.

“What?  Don’t like kolaches?” Jesse raised an eyebrow as he took half of one in a single bite.

“No, it’s good, just not what I had expected.”  Now that he knew what he was eating, Hanzo took another bite, able to enjoy his food more properly this time.  “In Japan, we also have our own version of meat cooked inside a bun.”

A sly grin slowly spread over Jesse’s face as he looked over the other man, letting out a snort as he chuckled softly.

Hanzo narrowed his eyes at the cowboy, assuming he was considering a lewd comment about “meat” inside “buns.”  It was bad enough that he could decipher Jesse’s way of thinking, and Hanzo certainly wasn’t going to dignify such vulgarity with a response.

“We’ll need to find a mechanic,” he pointed out, quickly changing the subject.

“Done,” Jesse announced with a proud grin.  “Met a guy in line at the donut shop.  His cousin owns a garage, said he’ll give us a deal.”

“Before we give our business to the first person we meet, I think it’s worth looking around and comparing prices and skill of the mechanics,” Hanzo protested.

“Look where we’re at, Han,” the cowboy sighed, sweeping his arm towards the window.  “Ain’t no Firestone out here.  Some guy’s cousin is the best we’re gonna get.”

With a defeated sigh, Hanzo simply accepted their situation.  This man clearly knew more about rural life than Hanzo ever would, so he allowed Jesse to take the lead.

“Then we should meet with this man as soon as possible,” he suggested.  “I’m eager to be on our way.”

“Oh, darlin…” Jesse chuckled again.  “No use rushin’.  We’re most likely stuck here a few days.”

Hanzo’s eyes filled with despair at this news.  “I must get to Padre Island!  At this rate, I would have been better off waiting for my brother to return to his apartment.”

“Yeah, well, hindsight’s 20/20.  Besides,” he gave a little wink, “you wouldn’t have met me.”

“As I said,” Hanzo repeated as he shifted off the bed to put on his shirt, “I’d be better off.”

“Aw, c’mon, sugarbean, you can’t mean that.”  The cowboy gave him another sad little pout.

“Let’s see about repairing the car.  And oh, McCree…”  The cowboy perked up in interest, but Hanzo simply added, “You will return that horse.”

“If you insist,” Jesse shrugged as he made his way to the door.  “I’ll take you to the mechanic, then meet you at the car with the horse.  How’s that sound?”

Seeing no better option, Hanzo gave a nod of approval as he followed Jesse out of the motel.

*~*~*~*

Towing the car was a simple process.  Hanzo rode with the mechanic and pointed out where the vehicle had broken down, and Jesse returned the horse, as he promised.  When the mechanic brought them back into town, the two men took their belongings from the car and returned to the motel.

Jesse was insistent on exploring the local sights - or lack thereof - and especially wanted his companion to join him, for whatever reason, but Hanzo declined, no matter how much the cowboy begged and pleaded.  Eventually, Jesse gave up and set out into the town alone.

Though there weren’t many ways to pass the time, Hanzo enjoyed the peace and quiet of having the room to himself.  There was a TV, but it only had access to limited local channels.  Hanzo plugged his phone into the charger and checked his messages, but as expected, there was nothing from his brother.

As the hour grew later, he began to wonder what happened to his companion, but convinced himself that whatever happened to Jesse was not his concern.  When it was late enough in the afternoon to be morning in Japan, Hanzo called his father with an update of his journey.  The head of the Shimada clan was not pleased with the delay, but there wasn’t much else either of them could do but wait for the car to be fixed.

During the phone call, Hanzo could hear a muffled racket from the other side of the door, as though someone were scratching and clanging against the lock, accompanied by an off-tune singing.  After a brief struggle with the key, the cowboy stumbled into the room, completely reeking of whiskey.

”It is then I wonder where you are my darlin’~”  Jesse continued his song, slamming the door shut behind him while tossing his cowboy hat like a frisbee across the room.

“What is that racket?” the voice of Hanzo’s father hissed through the earpiece.

“These Americans are very loud,” Hanzo grumbled over the cowboy’s drunken singing.

”And if your heart to me is still the same~”

Jesse flopped onto the bed near the other man, and Hanzo quickly realized he needed to end this call before his father heard too much.

“Everything is under control.  I must go,” Hanzo quickly ended the call, worried his father would be upset by such an abrupt ending, but it was preferable to the alternative.  After setting the phone aside, he turned to shoot McCree an angry glare.  “What is the matter with you?”

The cowboy ignored the question and continued his attempt to serenade the other man.  ”For the sighin’ wind and nightingale a-singin’, are breathin’ only your own sweet name~”

“You interrupted a phone call with my father,” Hanzo continued to sternly insist, refusing to be charmed by any of this nonsense.

”Sweet Hanzo-line!” Jesse sang, leaning in to slide his arms around Hanzo’s waist.  “For you I pine in all my dreams~”

Hanzo leaned back against the headboard, watching the other man make a complete fool of himself.  Jesse’s head was nearly in his lap as he glanced up at Hanzo with a lopsided grin.

“You reek,” he commented with a glare.

“Yeah?  You smell like…”  Jesse released the other man just to lift himself up closer to Hanzo’s neck and deeply inhale through his nose.  “Flowers.”

Even though Hanzo knew that Jesse was drunk, being this close still somehow set his heart racing once again.  As the cowboy reached up to run his fingers through the other man’s hair, Hanzo froze in place, trying to swallow down the lump that had formed in his throat.

“Soft…”  Jesse noted, pausing for a moment to idly tangle his fingers in those long, dark strands of hair.

What happened next, Hanzo could see coming a mile away.  He knew he should stop this from going any further, yet he remained still as Jesse leaned in to clumsily press their lips together.  This was wrong - so very, very wrong for a number of reasons, yet instead of pushing the other man away, Hanzo gripped Jesse’s shirt and parted his lips as an invitation to continue.

Hanzo thought he might get drunk from the whiskey that still lingered on the other man’s breath, if he didn’t choke first from the lingering taste of cigar smoke.  The kiss was sloppy and lazy, yet Hanzo still couldn’t resist.  Jesse’s lips were so soft, despite the rough bristles along his jaw, and his touch was so gentle as he idly toyed with the other man’s hair.  Though Hanzo was stone sober, he somehow found that his own inhibitions were also completely melting away.

As Jesse’s kisses grew more urgent, he fumbled with the buttons on the front of his shirt.  Clearly not having the coordination for it, Hanzo helped to quickly work the buttons open.  The cowboy tossed his flannel aside, but still wore a plain white undershirt.  He broke away from Hanzo and sat upright to pull it up over his head.  Thanks to the liquor, Jesse came horribly unbalanced and fell over onto the mattress beside Hanzo.

The cowboy lazily squirmed for a moment as he struggled, causing Hanzo to actually chuckle in amusement as he watched.  He was about to lend a hand, when Jesse suddenly fell still.  At first, Hanzo thought maybe he was taking a rest, exhausted from the struggle, but at the sound of his companion’s light snoring, it was clear that Jesse had fallen asleep right there, in the heat of the moment, with his shirt over his head.

With an exasperated sigh, Hanzo decided to yank the fabric the rest of the way over Jesse’s head to make sure he didn’t somehow suffocate himself.  Left in a sour mood - partly out of unsatisfied frustration, partly because he almost just allowed that to happen - Hanzo grabbed the closest thing resembling an extra blanket, which happened to be Jesse’s sarape, and curled up in the armchair situated in the corner of the room.

As he huddled up, he couldn’t help but notice how the sarape smelled like the other man, but no matter how much he resisted, Hanzo couldn’t help but imagine the night before, how good it felt to rest beside Jesse, with those burly arms draped around him.  This was just a temporary foolishness, Hanzo reminded himself, and although he almost gave in to a whim, he needed to resist just a bit longer.

The chair was an extremely uncomfortable place to sleep, and Hanzo found himself waking up every few hours to try and adjust to a more comfortable position.  Since he couldn’t get proper rest, Hanzo ended up dozing on and off into the late morning.  As he finally gave up and opened his eyes, he spotted Jesse watching him with a tired grin.

“What?” Hanzo grumbled. “Why are you looking at me like that.”

“Lookin’ good in my sarape,” the cowboy answered in a dry, raspy voice.

“You’re still drunk,” Hanzo scoffed as he tossed the shawl aside and stretched, bones cracking from the uncomfortable position he held all night.

“Nah, but I’m hung over as hell,” Jesse grumbled, rubbing the corners of his eyes.

Hanzo made his way to the sink and filled one of the complementary cups with water before handing it to his companion.  “Drink.”

Jesse gladly downed the entire glass in just a few gulps before setting it aside.  “Surprised you didn’t wanna share the bed last night.”

“I didn’t care to risk you vomiting all over me in your sleep,” Hanzo lied.  Though it was a valid concern, he was more worried by his own reckless actions and felt that more distance between himself and the other man would be beneficial.

“Nah, no puke yet,” Jesse reassured as he huddled back under the covers.  “Head’s killin’ me, though.”

“Mm.  Rest.”  Hanzo refilled the glass with water for his companion and retreated to the bathroom for a shower.

By the time he was finished and dressed, he found Jesse had fallen back to sleep in the bed.  So as not to disturb the other man, Hanzo decided to head out into town to see what sort of food he might bring back.

Ginger tea and miso soup had always been Hanzo’s go-to hangover food, but once he got a look of the town, he doubted he’d have many options to choose from.  After walking for a little while, Hanzo spotted a small diner that boasted the “best chicken fried steak in the county.”  He felt his own stomach gurgle at the thought of food, so he decided to make a personal stop before running his errands.

The steak, in reality, was not even close to the best of anything Hanzo had tasted.  There was too much gravy and batter that drowned the slab of meat, which was too tough to be any kind of enjoyable.  Still, he politely ate what was offered to him and left a fair tip before continuing his walk.

Once he found a corner store, Hanzo spent a moment browsing for any food that might help Jesse’s hangover and finally settled on a few bottles of sports drinks, microwavable chicken soup, and crackers.  Everything else in this town seemed much too greasy to feed someone who already wasn’t feeling well.

When Hanzo returned to the motel, Jesse was out of bed and brushing his teeth in the sink.  When he noticed the other man return, he rinsed out his mouth and greeted him in the bedroom.

“Perfect timing.  You just missed the puking,” Jesse said with a weak smile.

Hanzo’s lip curled in disgust as he set down the bag of supplies.  “Anyhow, I thought this might help you.”

The cowboy immediately grabbed one of the drinks and chugged over half of it.  “That hits the spot.  Thanks.”

Hanzo returned to the armchair and pulled out his phone, which had only a message from his father angrily scolding him for the abrupt end to the call.  Since it would have been the middle of the night in Japan, Hanzo simply replied with a text apologizing for the disruption, and reassured him that everything was fine.

With nothing else to do, the silence grew uncomfortably heavy between the two men, so Hanzo finally spoke up again, “Any word from the mechanic?”

Jesse replied with a shake of his head.  “Not yet.  He had to order a part that’s gonna take a while to get here.”

Hanzo gave a simple grunt of acknowledgement before turning his attention back to his phone.  There were no games or internet access on this cheap phone, but there was nothing else to look at to divert his attention from the other man.

“Hey,” the cowboy spoke up again, speaking in a serious tone, for once, as he sat on the edge of the bed.  “Hanzo.”

Though his own eyes were lowered, Hanzo could practically feel the weight of Jesse’s gaze as the cowboy intently watched over him.  Hanzo remained silent, offering only another disinterested grunt.

“We just gonna pretend like last night didn’t happen?” Jesse continued.

“It must have been quite embarrassing for you,” Hanzo replied, still not looking up.  “I can see why you might want to forget.”

“You know what I’m talkin’ about.”

“You were drunk,” Hanzo shrugged indifferently.

“But you weren’t,” the cowboy pressed.

“What difference does it make?  I’m no stranger to drunken foolishness.”

“That’s not– Dammit, Han, I maybe was drunk, but I ain’t no fool,” Jesse huffed and pointed an accusatory finger at the other man.  “You were kissin’ me back.”

“You weren’t in a proper state of mind,” Hanzo deflected.  “It must have been a dream.”

Jesse paused, looking like a kicked puppy before he replied, “Fine.  I get it.  Been throwin’ myself at you since I saw you, but… I dunno, thought maybe you’d be a little interested, ‘specially after the other night.”

“McCree…” Hanzo sighed, still politely using the other man’s last name.  “I have a duty to my family.  You understand?  I cannot allow these distractions.”

The cowboy scoffed and rolled his eyes.  “Your daddy’s on the other side o’ the ocean.  Who gives a hoot if you fool around a little while you’re here?”

“I must remain focused,” Hanzo sternly insisted.

“Focused on what, the peelin’ wallpaper of this hotel room?  We ain’t goin’ nowhere til that car part comes in.”

“I can’t–” In his frustration, Hanzo stood up with a heavy sigh as he began to slowly pace in front of the chair.  “You don’t understand.  My family - my culture - it’s too different from yours.”

“Shit, Hanzo, I don’t give a damn about that, and neither should you!” Jesse grumbled. “What kind o’ control does your family have on you while you’re so many miles away?”

“Where I come from, my values - they’re still part of me, however far I leave home.  And if you can’t respect that…”  Hanzo trailed off, shaking his head.

“I do, Han, I’m tryin’ to understand,” Jesse reached out to try and grab the other man’s hand, but he was only swatted away.  “But if you’re into me the way I think you are, why fight it?”

Hanzo looked up at the cowboy, unable to mask the heartbreak in his eyes.  They were both from such different worlds, he had no idea how to make Jesse understand that this could never work.  Jesse had his life here, in America, while Hanzo could never abandon his family in Japan.  Not to mention, his duty was to marry a good woman to continue the Shimada family name.  Shutting down whatever was between the two of them seemed like the responsible thing to do, and would save them both a worse pain in the long run.

Sure, they could have a meaningless fling with each other, but Hanzo didn’t want that.  He didn’t want to be a piece of meat used up for someone else’s temporary fun, so either way, he knew what he must do.

“I think it’s best if we have some space from one another.  So, despite the extra costs, I will rent my own separate motel room,” Hanzo resolved.

“Hanzo, wait!” Jesse called out as the other man began to leave, but in his groggy, hung-over state, he was unable to stop him.

Hanzo walked directly to the main office and pulled out his wallet as he asked to reserve a room.  But he was taken completely off guard as the clerk asked one simple question - four harmless words that made Hanzo feel as though someone had ripped open his chest:

”One bed or two?”

[okaynicolette]

Nikki closed her laptop after ending the call with Amanda and paused for a moment, debating how to proceed with Liam. She bit on the string of her hoodie more, trying to decide what the best way to approach the situation. Before too long, she smelled the lunch calling her and got up off the couch to join her boyfriend at the table. 

“So, what do you think of Amanda?” She asked, sitting down at the chair next to him and taking her meal out of the bag. 

Liam was already half way through his food and was staring at a work email when Nikki joined him. He quickly put his phone back in his pocket and directed his attention towards Nikki. He was unsure of how to answer the question because he’d only briefly interacted with Amanda, but figured he’d go with the safest bet: “She seems fun,” he ventured, “but she didn’t want to stay over? I get it though, we haven’t actually met but I just figured...” his voice trailed off and he took another bite of his hot dog. 

Nikki covered her mouth as she chewed and swallowed, shaking her head the whole time, as if to indicate that she had a response ready. “Well yeah it was nice of you to offer– I know you were just being generous but like... you kind of shat on my place, don’t you think?” She widened her eyes, in the way that she always did when confronting Liam’s privilege. It wasn’t as though Nikki had grown up dirt poor or anything, but her family was solidly Midwestern middle/working class. And contrasting that with Liam’s flashy and wealthy LA upbringing, there were some uncomfortable differences that came to the surface on occasion. 

Liam was shocked to hear that Nikki felt like he called out her apartment. “No I didn’t! I was just trying to tell Amanda that I had an extra bedroom. Your studio might just be small for two people, that’s all I was trying to say,” he explained, defensively before taking a sip of his drink.

Nikki rolled her eyes. It was just like him to forget the words that he used. “Liam you said, and I quote: 'There probably isn’t room in Nikki’s studio, right babe,’” she altered her voice to mock Liam for effect while quoting him. “It just felt so condescending. Like how am I not supposed to be offended by that?” She asked, raising her voice an octave as she got more upset. 

Liam sighed. “I don’t know? Just don’t be! I was literally just trying to be nice, that’s it. I’m sorry that I implied that your one room studio apartment has less room than my two bedroom 1300 square foot apartment?!” He rushed through his exclamation, immediately realizing how jerkish it came off as soon as he said it. 

Nikki stared at Liam blank-faced, not wanting to give him any reaction to his yelling. “Amanda was right to dislike your showiness,” she said, looking him dead in the eyes, knowing that he would be cut to the core with the knowledge that he didn’t make a good first impression. She held the eye contact for a moment longer and then broke it to take another bite of her food. 

Liam blinked a couple times, always shocked at Nikki’s ability to go cold as ice with no warning whatsoever. It was freaky almost, but it did make him feel extremely guilty for blowing up at her seconds beforehand. “She said she disliked my showiness?” He asked, still incredulous but a bit more calm in his tone. “Why? Because I wanted to show her around my apartment that I’m proud of and because I invited her to stay if she ever comes out here? Hotels are expensive, Nik. Jeez, I was just trying to be hospitable,” he scratched the back of his head, not really sure how to make his case any further. 

Nikki rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink before responding. “Right, but you didn’t mention a hotel. It was your place over my place which is like a direct diss,” she huffed, crossing her arms in front of her. “And no, it wasn’t just that. She also didn’t like that you mentioned us having sex this morning,” she added.

Liam resigned to the fact that he wasn’t winning this argument regarding the apartment slip up he had made. “Alright, Nik. I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t mean to make it out that I thought I was better than you or whatever. I’m sorry it came off that way,” he said, genuinely trying to be apologetic. “But honestly are you upset that I mentioned that because I didn’t think I was coming off as crude...” his voice trailed off and he scanned Nikki’s face for a reaction.

Nikki pursed her lips and thought carefully before responding. “It was a bit forward,” she admitted with a shrug. “I just think she wasn’t expecting you to be the way you are. That’s all,” Nikki looked down with no intention of continuing along that train of thought. She’d brought up Jake vaguely before with Liam, but never in full detail or anything too serious. She didn’t want to bring up the direct comparison between the two though, because she didn’t see it relevant and felt it would only hurt Liam more.

“What do you mean, ‘the way that I am’?” Liam asked, his ego somewhat bruised by the implications of that statement. Did Nikki also feel any form of animosity toward the way Liam was? Did hearing Amanda make Nikki realize that there was something flawed about him? His brain was ringing all of the alarm bells, but he tried to keep a calm demeanor. 

“Just... like,” she could tell Liam was hurt, so she searched for the words to spin the situation in a more positive light, “so proud and open I guess? I don’t know if that’s the right way of saying it... Maybe confident is the word I’m looking for. Yes, confident,” she nodded, now feeling silly for starting this argument and getting so offended in the first place. “But that’s what I like about you– you’re proud to be with me, you’re proud of your life, you go after what you want. It’s what drew me to you in the first place,” Nikki went on, feeling more assured with each word that left her mouth. She was on a new path now and Amanda could like it or not, but that didn’t change how Nikki felt about it. She liked and was attracted to Liam, and that choice was hers alone. 

Liam could feel Nikki back-peddling on her previous talking points. It seemed as though she was trying to say that she didn’t agree with her friend in the idea that he was too showy or forward. “You think all that?” he asked, definitely flattered because she had never really described non-physical aspects of him that she was attracted to before. It was nice to hear that she liked him for more than just what was on the surface.

“Yes,” Nikki nodded with a light smile. “I admire those qualities a lot in you. And if Amanda doesn’t like it then that’s fine because she’s not the one dating you,” she shrugged, knowing full well that there were some issues she did actually have with Liam (like his pretentiousness) that did actually bother her. But those weren’t in discussion anymore. She did enjoy his confident, slightly peacock-y nature because it made her feel important and flattered and desired. 

Liam grinned and puffed his chest out a little bit, hearing Nikki reaffirm what she had just said. “Well I’m glad you think that,” he nodded, “and also that you understand me on that level.” It was a rare moment of emotional intimacy between the two of them, and neither of them really knew what to do with this new feeling. 

Nikki felt a wave of relief wash over her. Things were a bit touch and go for her emotions after Amanda expressed her dislike for Liam, but after her and Liam talked she felt more reassured in her own choices. Where she was at that moment– sitting next to Liam, eating one of her favorite foods, looking out over LA from an apartment she couldn’t afford after 20 years of work– she was at peace. It was so far removed from her trauma that she could choose when and how she wanted to think about those things, and it genuinely felt like those things didn’t control her anymore for the first time in a really long time. “You’re a fun person to understand, Li,” she said with a smile, after some time taking in her own contentment.