#so yeah let's play a game and see how insightful magpie and i are and how predictable twn writers can be

[chwduplemon]

the time of contempt season 3 of netflix's the bitcher is approaching, so here is a silly little bingo card i made (as a coping mechanism and with a lot of help from @sorokmagpies — thank you, btw, my friend!) for all of us redania & redanians fans in these trying times

[p.s. feel free to use it however you want, but don't even try to defend twn and their stupid decisions on my dash, this show has already done irreparable damage to the fandom and a bunch of my favorite characters, tyvm]

[fableish]

I think this is the last shot I have from my “playing around with a new reshade” thing that I did. I still need to find what I was actually looking for, which is a more natural enhancing one (I already have one that’s good for gameplay/using the UI) without being too dark, not working with 4.6.1 or being too cold OR too warm. Yeah. I’m the Goldilocks of reshades apparently.

I also wanted to note, seeing how I’ve seen a few others mention it that I do have a Simstagram that I use. I don’t personally have any plans of going anywhere, I do, kinda sorta like it here, sometimes. And I want to keep up with people. I also haven’t figured out what to share where either so there’s that too.

I don’t really have specific sims I can post with predominately because my attention span goes from “OMG let’s to Medieval Fantasy” to “Oh I just watched Poirot again I want a 1920′s-1930′s game” to “Oh I just looked at my shelf of 18th-19th century history books/my fashion history books and now I want a Victorian-like game” to “OMG industrial brick building with apartment in it? I want to do grungy friends!” to “Oh, you know, Windenburg is perfect for a murder mystery” to “You know I wonder how an epistolary driven story would work for the Sims...”. (Also, my mind is long winded, so that’s a good insight on how that works too)

So people don’t really know any one specific sim of mine because by the time I post something I’m already knee-deep in contemplating which social media platform would be most used by elder sims.

Also, this seems like a good point to either put a cut/read more (I went TS2 download shopping recently and there’s a lot of stuff on Dreamwidth and it’s called a cut and I’m old and leave me alone).

Anyway. This isn’t so much anything highly dramatic or worrying. I’m pretty used to my “ooooh shiiiny” tendencies by now. I do wish I’d stick with something for awhile because I miss that depth, you know? But I also recognize that part of it is because I’m not 100% attached to some ideas and it’s also because the ones I’m attached to? I’m terrified that I won’t be able to pull of. 

See. I don’t like failing and I like getting things right, preferably the first time. Partly because my anxiety rears up at the idea of failure, partly because getting it right the first time? Far more efficient than failing. Now. There is some rational part of me that’s well aware that failure is helpful and teaches you lessons. I’m not entirely black and white. But sometimes it gets the better of me.

I also do get oh so easily distracted though. Not so much with my actual RL work. If anything I get massively annoyed if I am distracted by something then.

However in my hobby-life? Oh man. I go from being so into sims to only wanting to read books, to binging on stuff I’ve watched before, to wanting to worldbuild for the fun of it, to researching werewolf myths from around the world to only wanting to play story driven games to only wanting to listen to music and daydreaming. And I do it to the exclusion of anything else. I.e. if I’m in a Sims mood? I don’t rally read, if I worldbuild I don’t want to play story driven games etc.

This isn’t really a rant as much as it’s a “putting it on paper to get it out of my head so maybe it’ll make more sense” exercise. 

I’m single minded and that’s great when I want to complete something. However I’m also constantly inspired or into new things.

So back to Simstagram which is actually what brought all these thoughts to the front (because let’s be real, they’ve been there while I’ve been on here too). I see these accounts that focus on a single sim, or a couple, and it looks really fun. And I want to do it, but, I don’t really have a sim I love that much? Like I have all of these guys (here, here and here) that I made and adore (and I’ve made more since, because of course I have). But I can’t choose just one and the idea of doing several feels overwhelming.

And are these really important, heavy thoughts that matter in the long run? No. But it’s 1 am, it’s storming and I can’t sleep and you know what? I want to babble. So babbling it is.

All of this also has me coming back to epistolary novels and styles of writing. Because exploring a sim, or several to be specific, through their various social media posts, grocery lists, to-do lists, bullet journals, spotify playlists, notes and bills intrigue me. 

I don’t know why, but it does and I keep coming back to it.

Which I guess is partly why accounts featuring specific sims on Instagram intrigue and amuse me. Because it’s exactly that. Yet I can’t quite settle down and do it, because I can’t focus on one sim or choose one for that matter. I’m also, despite what the things I said earlier might make you believe, thoroughly lazy.

And this means that this little “essay” of mine is going to arrive at the utterly unsatisfactory conclusion that I still don’t know what to do but I did get it out of my system and hopefully the storm (outside, let’s not get all metaphorical) will settle and I can go to bed. And besides, everyone knows that essays online have to start with “in this essay I will...” 

Anyway. It’s out of my system now, I’ll probably (definitely) ponder this a lot more. And if you’ve read this thing, thank you ❤️ And if you’ve read this and though “hey, this sounds like me!”, hello fellow magpie distracted by shiny new things. I guess we should form a club? 💖