#so why tf did she think i was in any frame of mind to be nagged for two hours straight about logistics and plans for the future

[harrowharkwife]

it would be cool if talking to my mom could help me feel better for once instead of. making everything worse

[billiedeansbitch]

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 (nsfw)

𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

a/n: Been craving for Donna Beneviento lately and my mind will not rest unless I do something about it and this is the end result of that. Not beta read, darlings, we die like the maidens in the cellar.

summary: Donna's due for a haircut and then it turns into fucking because why tf not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

warning/s: NSFW. SMUT. Fingering. Oral Sex. Slight praise kink. (It's actually a little fluffy) SMUT AGAIN. No plot just fucking smut.

The kitchen floor is dirtied with trimmed hair, all black and silky. It’s that time again for her where she sits in her kitchen, her back ramrod straight. Beneath the makeshift gown that’s draped around her, Donna has been, well…fidgeting for the past five minutes since you sat her down and started cutting.

“Be still for me, cara mia.” and she listens, of course she listens. The anxious tapping of her fingers on her knee halts. She breathes out, calming herself. But something about having you so close and touching her, makes Donna lose it. Her knees start to bounce and keep her hands full of the fabric of her skirt.

Donna watches you with her good eye as you meticulously trim the ends of her overgrown bangs that frames her face exactly as they did since she was six years old and a mortal. She looks beautiful. Very beautiful.

“Donna, darling.” She watched you place a finger beneath her chin, in an attempt to catch her eye, “Have I not told you to be still?” blush creeps to her neck then to the apples of her cheeks, she feels the warmth of your breath as you lean closer just enough that you are bent at the waist to level with her face. 

Your presence was all too consuming, it makes her head dizzy with the love spell you put her in. She wants to touch you though she refrained from doing such a thing, instead she fisted her hand tighter, the handful of fabric does nothing to relieve the yearning but at least it’s keeping her grounded and hands busy.

She looks stunning like this, you can see the purplish veins around the scarring, the visible greying of her skin, the pretty long lashes you adore, her soft lips albeit a little chapped. This woman needs to drink more. It’s funny how one could think an immortal body does not need to be cared for, to be tended and handled with fragile hands, to be kissed and loved…God, how wrong they were.

“Cara mia?” 

Donna’s breath stilled, her heart was erratically beating so hard she feared it might tear out of her poor chest and jump right into your palms. 

You brush the wispy bits of baby hair from her forehead, “Be still or I’ll have to punish you.” She blinks, opens her lips to say something but nothing comes out in protest.

“So what will it be, hmm? Are you going to be still now?” She holds your gaze for a second then nods.

Donna manages through until you’re done cutting her hair, her hands finally releasing the abused and wrinkled fabric. 

You were busy tucking away the hair cutting tools, and sweeping the floor of the kitchen where it served as a small salon just a couple of minutes ago, due to the incredible natural lightning that’s pouring in from the windows. It’s only the part of this house that’s not void of light, because it’s your spot, it is where you linger more. When you’re done, you see Donna holding her veil, her hair up in a bun again.

She’s about to put it on, too shy and feeling too vulnerable without the piece of cloth but she felt your fingers curling around her wrist,  “No, let me see how perfect you are, cara mia.” and her heart thumps again, “I want to see you.”

She abandons the cloth, and the moment her gaze lifts to your face she’s welcomed with a smile, “There’s no need for that when it’s just you and I, my love, unless of course you are uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable?” she watches as your brows knit together, your own eyes searching her face for any signs.

She grabs your hands firmly, “No!” her voice comes out raspy, deep from disuse. She profusely shakes her head and brings your hands to her lips. “No.” she says again, a little softer this time, more quiet like it was supposed to be just a thought. Kissing  your hands, she shows you what she knows of affection, what little of it is left from years of only torment and abuse, of cruelty and manipulation.

“Hush, my love. I believe you.” You kissed her, and her body’s first instinct was to flinch away, but she didn’t. She stays right where she is and revels on the way your lips touch her face again kissing her forehead, then her cheeks, “You are perfect.”

Your lips are warm against hers, she can feel how alive your body is, how the little hairs along your arms stand and your skin prickled. She knows her hands are cold, just like the rest of her and you know she’s debating in her head whether to pull away, so you assured her that you are fine, that her touch is as warm as the sun can be… She does not believe that, of course, but she yielded anyway.

Donna gasps when you start to back her up the kitchen counter, your mouth still kissing her lips. With her arms now wrapped around your neck, she lets you guide her. 

She knows what’s about to happen. 

“Amore mio,” the counter top is cold and it’s piercing right through her palms as she now sits on it but it's only a small price to pay for what’s about to unravel in the next few seconds. 

You lined yourself in between her thighs, caressing each and feeling how her body responds to your touch, “Donna,” 

—

The kiss is as delicate as the hand that travels from your cheek down to your throat where it stays for a few moments, possibly feeling your pulse before it goes down your shoulder to the length of your arm, caressing your bicep.

It’s been a while since you’ve had her like this, so eager for affection, for your touch, for your mouth. For you.

She rests her face on the crook of your neck, breathing you in and kissing you lightly, a hand tangled in your hair. It pulls strings of sounds, sensual enough to elicit heat in her cunt. 

After a moment you urge her to look at you, “Be good now and show me your face, come on.” you slip a hand to her cheek, guiding her to show you herself, “Let me see you, please?”

Donna lets you.

“There’s my beautiful girl.” At the compliment she can’t help but feel abashed, her cheeks reddening despite herself. The feeling of warmth wrapped on her cheek, the one that’s smooth and without a flaw, one that Donna lets you touch, was unlike anything she had ever felt. She indulges in it, leaning and closing her eye.

You rub the supple skin with the pad of your thumb, feeling so weak in the knees for this woman.

“So wonderful…” and there it is again, the flipping of her heart.

When your thumb tug at her lip, she automatically opens them, her eye going back up to watch you practically devour her with only your eyes alone and it elated her, it sends pleasant shivers down her spine, the heat in her stares intensifies just as the one in apex of her thighs. Thank the black God she’s sitting because if she’s not, she might have been too weak to keep herself upright.

All while your right hand is busy with her face, the left found its way underneath the heavy skirt, and straight right through her core. The cotton underwear is as damp as you expected, not that you expected any less because knowing her, she’d be leaking just from your touch alone.

A gasp echoes in your ears before it melts into sighs then moans.

“So wet already?” Donna whimpers, closing her eye. “Or have you been having lewd thoughts about me…mm? While I was cutting your hair wishing my hands were tucked somewhere else?” 

She nods. Any verbal response is simply too much for her right now. “Oh, Donna.” 

She watches as you retrieve your hand from between her legs, feeling how her wetness grazes the insides of her thighs from your fingertips making her shiver. Donna has never been so fucking wet like this, her arousal glossing your fingers in the most erotic way. It is a visual she cannot forget so soon.

You brought your fingers in your mouth, audibly sucking each, and showing her how much you fucking want her.

“Would you like to suck it too, baby?” You offered. A smirk curls into your lips, she’s considering it. Her gaze falling back and forth from your eyes to your fingers.

“Open your pretty mouth.”

Without any objections, she complied, opening her mouth just a gap and you slid one finger in. Her cheeks hallowed, like a vacuum sucking all what’s left of her on your finger. It made you bite your lip, your breathing fully stopped at the sight and sensation. 

When she pulls, releasing your finger with a pop, she gives you a look, one that’s filled with hunger and you know right in the moment that you are done for.

—

The mess of jet black hair spilled on the counter, the buttons of her blouse flying everywhere but neither of you seems  to care (especially her) you both have a goal: to relieve her of her blouse. You tried to be careful really—and patient, so patient as you undo the small, metal buttons one by one but they were so little for your fingers, too delicate and Donna was growing impatient, too. That was when she ripped it open, aiding you, her strength had your jaw hitting the floor.

Her arm was only halfway out her sleeve when the silk chemise came into view and her nipples were visibly hard and calling for attention, your hand uncaringly tugging the fabric, one breast out. She threw her head back, feeling your wet tongue flicking the hard bud, your hand squeezing her mound so eagerly. 

Her fingers are locked in your hair, pulling at your scalp each time you’d tease her, biting instead of sucking. It’s driving her heart into a frenzy, her jaw slackened and her eye is as wide as they can get staring into the ceiling before it rolls behind her head. Nothing but deep guttural moans and hiss filling the kitchen.

The expanse of her chest is tinged with subtle pink colour, it looks well on her grey toned skin, even her nipples are rosy and mostly sore from how brutal you’ve taken her. Her breath heaves, one arm covers her forehead while the other remains tangled in your hair. You are both catching your breaths but none of you is done yet. 

Donna raised her head to take a look at you, her fingers combing through your hair. You look back at her, smiling softly. “You okay there, baby?” She smiles in return, biting down on her lip. It’s the only answer you can get from her.

“You ready for another?” 

Donna blushes again.

With the back of her hand silencing her moan, she gripped the ends of her skirt with the other. 

You inhaled a lungful of air, her musky scent filling your nostrils making you instantly salivate. The sight of her pussy sending you to the edge. “Amore mio.” she whimpers, pushing your face forward, silently commanding you. “P-please.”

If it were any other day, you’d surely make her wait and tease her until she’s shivering and ready to implode but today, you are feeling quite as needy as her.

“I’ll take care of you.”

The gentle tap on her thigh is enough for her to get the message, she spreads them apart and the lips of her cunt separates just so, drenched and glistening only for you. 

–

The first licks are gentle, the tip of your tongue merely going up and down the lips deliberately avoiding the clit. Donna cants her hips again and whines. You pause, smiling as Donna begins to be more and more confident about demanding what she wants and so you give in as a reward.

Using your thumb, you pull the hood of her clit just a little, exposing it. You bring your tongue to play with the bud, “oh–ah, p-please” She’s never been so verbal like this. You keep a slow, gentle pace for her, licking and sucking until the sounds of her thrashing mixed with her unrestrained moans fills the air, her thighs closing in on your head so soon. You lap at her, mercilessly sucking and dipping your tongue as far as you can and slurping her pussy. 

Donna is just coming off from her high, breathing in as much as she can and when she feels your fingers drawing circles on her pussy, she can’t help but look down. The sunlight is warm on your face, it brings out the colour of your eyes, sweat covers your forehead. She can have you like this all day long.

and then you pushed, “Ah…” her lips fell apart again and her back hit the counter, her breath stilling for a couple of seconds before she let herself breathe again. Her eye shut closed.

You are two fingers deep in her cunt, feeling it flutter around your digits, swallowing you deeper and oh she’s nice and warm and just so awfully tight you can’t help but moan yourself. You peppered kisses on her thighs before you move your fingers in and out it goes, the squelching sound of her pussy makes up for the eerily quiet home. 

It arouses you, it makes you fucking lose your mind, your own cunt desperate to be fucked but Donna’s pleasure is much more important right now. 

Sensing her eye on you, you smirked when you looked up and caught her already looking, “That’s right, baby, watch me fuck your pussy. Come on, don’t look away now. I want you to see how much I love fucking you until you’re nothing but a whimpering mess for me, Donna.”

And Donna, ever so responsive, hums. She’s visibly melting with your words, with how tender even the most filthiest words coming out of your lips sounds like. She clutched on her skirt even firmer, bunching it until her belly button is showing. The patch of dark hair between her legs is soaked both from her arousal and your saliva.

“Oh, you want more? I’ll give you more, darling.”

Donna has no choice but to bit the back if her hand when your lips starts to leave hot wet kisses all over her abdomen, inching closer and closer to her cunt each time until you tongue slowly but firmly dragged to the length of her slit before circling her clit, your fingers pumping faster and faster. 

Fuck, if the sound of her pussy being banged and all isn’t making you lose you fucking mind then the sounds she’s deliberately making will. “Fuck” you mutter,  clearly out of breath as you urge her to sit up, still not taking you fingers out.

Neither of you wait for a second to recollect yourselves, Donna’s lips are sealed with your in a hot searing kiss, her finger buried in your hair. 

“Amore mio,” she whispers in your ear, her cunt clenching so tight around you but keeps pushing, the burning of your muscles as you cross your limits is starting to take its toll on you but you keep pushing.

“Fuck!” You grunted and she nodded against the crook of your neck now.

“You’re mine.” 

“Yes,” she says, the hotness of her breath tingles your skin, “I’m yours. Yours—oh fuck, please!”

“Come, my love. Cum all over me.” 

Her nails dig into your scalp and back, it hurts but it doesn’t matter.

You pressed your face on the side of her head, one hand cradling her nape and you felt it gushing down your wrist. It’s wetter and slippier…

She comes.

[m1sa-w1sa]

Glad you are okay and hope you doing good! *Random idea I got from plot in manga. Yandere Kyoko Kirigiri and Chiaki Nanami with crush on darling who need glasses to see, only for a day to not have it due to forgot, destroyed, or taken by bullies. Darling needs help to do daily activity of eat (they might eat dirt) and write down notes. Darling might go very near to their persona space near their chest in order to see their notebook to copy them. Good night!

(This is so cool!! Ty for the request annon!! MIGHT BE A LITTLE OC!!)

A/N: Ok so a little things about requests, i got a dm saying ‘why tf havent you done my genshin request?! Blah blah one I already done it TWO i always do it latest to earliest and i DO have a outside life so please be patient! Thats all! Enjoy~!

Kyoko Kirigiri

•So Im going to start this off as you came to her first asking for help to guide you through the day until you get your glasses back

•She would be on cloud nine, almost letting out a soft smile at the fact quickly accepting the offer to help you through your day, why wouldnt she?! She can protect you and hold your hand 24/7!

•She wouldnt let ANYONE near you, even your friends as she made a excuse about ‘ They were going to tease you about not having your glasses ‘ She made sure that you held her hand all the time even if she wasnt even sitting in her own seat in glass just to help you take notes

•She would feed you herself not minding the stares she might be getting, she likes having you under her wing, her darling just where she wants them

•if your hand travels somewhere else (chest area) she would quickly stop you, telling you what you were about to do, but she doesnt mind, any contact with her darling is alright but she does make sure to guide your hands herself

•If your bullies took your glasses, she would frame them perfectly for a crime that she committed, she killed one of them but made it seem like they all took part, if you broke or lost them she would help you find them at the end of the day, but hiding them for a little longer so you can still be dependent on her

Chiaki Nanami

•Usually Chiaki is pretty sleepy but when you told her you needed help for the day then she was wide awake for this, you accidentally taped her chest thinking that it was her shoulder she understood and held your hand instead aceoting the offer

•She kept you close paying a little more attention in class to help you with notes, but if you usually dont pay attention in class she would still help you but not as much as she would if you did

•She was happy that you were by her side the whole day, staying with her during breaks and playing video games or her guiding your fingers to play was a joy for her

•She would KINNNDDA forget to feed you until you almost ate like hand sanitizer thinking it was your drink, thats when she quickly started to help you with more things

•If your bullies took your glasses she wouldnt really know what to do but not really wanted to do anything either so you can stay with her but she would try to get them back for you

•If you lost or broke them like kyoko she would hide them or hide the pieces so you can stay together for longer

(DONE!!! I hope you enjoyed! Next story coming soon!!)

[jadeandroses]

Prompt by @hercarisntyours (which. Okay. I didn’t follow it to the letter. I hope that’s okay 👉👈)

the only way to bring me down

(Ao3 version) (next) (last)

(Warning: TF One spoilers ahead!)

If you had asked her before this exact moment, Elita would have said there wasn’t a reckless circuit in her body. She was focused. Her programming pushed her toward success, not risks and the potential of failure. She certainly wasn’t to the point of that one subordinate of hers, constantly breaking into archives and trying to saved trapped coworkers…

…and yet.

It took something to jump after him. Gall, perhaps? An undeniable sense of recklessness she hadn’t let herself explore, before? A sudden flare in her spark, whatever emotion it was that fueled the scream she let echo as she saw him shot?

Whatever it was, it didn’t matter much anymore—she was plummeting after him, and that was that.

(Bee’s scream as she jumped would forever echo in her audials.)

She thought they would have hit ground a long time ago. But that was far from the case—where the hard floor would have claimed her spark and whatever was left of his, it now disappeared out from under them. Arcs of energy—electric, buzzing under the ground—came narrowly close to them, and yet, not a one struck. But they were a source of light, for which she would have been grateful, if it weren’t for the fact that every single one illuminated Orion as he turned more and more gray.

Her eyes—and never you mind if they welled over—narrowed, and she lowered herself into a nosedive.

Her head made contact before her arms did. Without quick reflexes, he might have been thrown away from her, but she reached out, faster than any arc of lightning, and pulled him closer.

The wound burned under her touch, but his frame had already gone cold. Even his eyes—so full of light and wonder, even in the darkness of the mines—had gone out.

“You just had to make me believe,” she seethed, “didn’t you?”

The quick wit she had grown to despise was gone, and his lifeless frame didn’t answer. She pulled him into an embrace, just so that she didn’t have to look at his empty, sparkless eyes.

“I said you would bring us hope,” she wept, “not this! Orion, my god, he wasn’t worth it! Why did you have to be so-”

She choked on a sob, and instead howled her grief into the ground below. Her scream echoed, and thankfully, it masked the sounds of her tears.

She hadn’t cried in ages. Not since she was very, very young. It was a sign of weakness, in the mines. Elita needed to be strong, if she was to survive.

She was strong, yes, and she had carved a path for herself. But then Orion came into her life and ruined it all, and stars, she loathed him for it.

…but stars, it had been lonely without his passionate ramblings and bad flirting. It took a journey to the surface to realize just how much she had missed it.

(Maybe that was just constant exposure to Bee’s ceaseless chatter.)

…had she cried like this, when her cog was carved out as a newborn? Or had she been silent, voiceless and scared, like she had been every day of her life after that before Orion came and ruined it?

He had given her a priceless gift—her freedom. Her voice. Her autonomy. Maybe this choice had tossed back it in his lifeless face.

But she didn’t care. He had made his choice. She didn’t have to take it lying down.

And if she had to go back to relying only on herself, to being the only person in this universe she could count on or believe in…

…well. Whether her spark was snuffed out alongside his, or it flickered out trapped and endlessly alone in the dark of the mines, she would die one way or the other.

At least this way, it was her choice.

~~~~

He was gone.

He was gone, but her spark was still lit—that much she knew. That much, she could feel, deep within her chest, as it flickered right next to the cog of Alchemist Prime.

(The one renowned for his mind. Had she been thinking about it, when she received it, she would have preened.)

But the realization that holy Primus, she wasn’t dead wasn’t quite enough to distract her from the fact that Orion—her stubborn, endlessly optimistic moron of a former employee—was gone. In fact, even his corpse was missing from her arms.

She tensed. She straightened out her legs to stand—only to find no ground under her feet.

And, in front of her, painted in endless shades of stars and blue, backs of figures she only vaguely recognized.

If she had been staring at anything else, she might have looked at the blue sun in front of her, the figures of starlight in front of her, and put two and two together. But there was one in gray, whose back she had stared at as she charged into the unknown.

And suddenly her aching spark lurched.

“Orion!”

There was absolutely no response from anyone. She strained to see better, and, despite his lifeless state, he was glowing.

“What are you doing to him?!”

Still no response.

It was at this point Elita grit her teeth, and began to force her way past the ancient Primes like a barbarian. It didn’t occur to her at all what she was doing. All that mattered was that she get to him.

They resisted her. Even held their arms out to stop her. She thrashed, and even climbed one to see better.

“Stop! Please! He’s my friend! Don’t hurt him!”

As if the dead could feel pain. It was ridiculous. She didn’t even care.

On some unseen signal, though, they parted. No sooner did Elita find her footing did she once again find herself under the intense gaze of Alpha Trion.

It was like the world stopped. Orion—still lifeless, yet lit up like his spark hadn’t been extinguished in the first place—still had his back to her. And yet Alpha Trion stood in front of them both, lit up in starlight.

“Loyal to the very end,” he whispered.

It was reverential. It was almost a question. Even in the face of such might, she stood tall.

“That stubborn little optimist is the only person I’ve ever truly believed in,” she spat. “Of course I followed him!”

She wondered if she should have phrased that differently. That being said, it was the truth, and it hurt—but oh, she couldn’t take it back now. Where once her path had been hers and hers alone, it was one someone had chosen for her. Now, she had a choice—and she wanted nothing more than to stand by him. To help him, in his mission, no matter how stupid or now noble.

Especially now that D had…

It was difficult to say exactly what crossed Alpha Trion’s face. He rumbled approvingly, though.

“We Primes had a High Guard, once. Ones to advise us and to protect us. But more importantly, they were our friends.” Hand on Orion’s shoulder, he continued to speak. “It is a shame that we cannot give such luxuries to him. Instead, he will have you, loyal daughter of Cybertron, to protect him as we cannot.”

Her own frame began to glow, now. Not quite as bright as Orion’s, but almost. There was power coursing through her, filling her every circuit.

(…if she was tasting a fraction of what was coursing through him, she had the distinct feeling she wasn’t quite staring at Orion, anymore.)

“You are one of a kind, dear. Truly, you have earned your name,” he murmured kindly. “And as for our young one, here, I rather like what she said for his name, don’t you, my brethren?”

There was rumbling approval all around her. She was afraid to ask. But she swallowed it.

“…what?”

He turned starlit eyes on her friend, and smiled.

“Arise, Optimus Prime!”

[sixty-silver-wishes]

Just saw The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari because of you heehee. (This was my first silent film!!) And I've got some questions if you don't mind me asking. How tf did Cesare and Dr. Caligari appear at the end of the movie if one died and the other had gone "mad" (or is it an "up to interpretation" kinda thing? Or was Francis the one seeing things?) What did bro mean by "I know how to heal him"? (Is it another up to interpretation thing or am I missing something?) ALSO where was Francis, the man he was telling the story to, Jane, and all those people at? Were they back at the Institute?

holy shit, Caligari count 14!!!

So the ending is pretty much up to interpretation. Although the screenwriters, Hans Janowitz and Carl Meyer, opposed it, they were made to add in the asylum ending, which may be interpreted to dilute the film’s anti-authority themes (although some interpretations, including my own, see this scene as reinforcing those themes and not lessening them). On a surface-level reading, Francis and the others (sans Alan for some reason) are in the asylum the entire time, and Francis is telling this story, which he believes to be true, to the old man, who serves as a device for the frame narrative.

When the asylum director says he knows how to “heal” Francis, I personally interpret this to enforce those anti-authority themes. If Caligari represents authority as abusive and dominating (keep in mind this film also came out after WWI), his counterpart as the director may refute Francis’ perception of him- or it may enforce them. Is Francis just crazy and viewing a benevolent doctor as an evil mad scientist, or is something sinister- or at best, ignorantly harmful- going on? Not only is “Caligari” an asylum director both inside and out of Francis’ story; he wrongfully assumes that Francis thinks he’s a different “Caligari,” the character from the book in the office, who, in the story, the director is driven to become. Even if the director has good intentions, he does not know how to “cure” Francis, because he completely misjudges what’s going on in Francis’ head. I believe this line is especially significant, as it keeps the anti-authority message intact; even if the director means no harm, he does not understand the actual problem and may be doing more harm than good.

Cesare being in the asylum at the end is, as far as I’m aware, there to reinforce to the audience that the story was in Francis’ head; not only is he still alive, but he appears harmless and passive, and not a threat at all. However, it’s interesting to note that Francis acknowledges that Cesare was also institutionalized; we see him being brought into the asylum during the diary sequence.

Jane and Alan are interesting, because they really throw the idea of what’s real and what isn’t into question. While “Cesare” and “Caligari” are not the real names of the director and patient, Jane responds to her name. And her line about not being able to “follow the path of her heart” is very interesting, because it vaguely mirrors the story; she is presented with the illusion of choice (marrying Francis or Alan, although Alan dies), and Francis refers to her as his “fiancee,” despite the fact she never expresses any romantic interest towards him- or anyone. She’s the clear object of desire, without presenting any desire herself (although interestingly, Wikipedia says that in an early draft, she and Francis were initially going to be married and telling the story to their dinner guests- which I think is way weirder than an asylum setting!). This begs the question- is the story was completely imagined by Francis, or if it’s a distortion of events that he and Jane witnessed? Also, why isn’t Alan there? Is he actually dead? Is he just a product of Francis’ imagination? (Personally, I interpret him as a manifestation of the concept of lost innocence.)

Whatever the case, all this speculation is what makes me love the film so much. I could talk about it for hours, and there’s a ton of academic analysis out there by scholars on what the film could mean and what people get out of it. The whole thing is very liminal, like a dream. It functions in thresholds between binaries, in a sort of gray area that’s just so fascinating to me. Plot points happen with no explanation; storytelling tropes are both followed and subverted. It’s impossible to really understand it, which is why I think it’s so timeless.

[moon-cycling]

full moon thoughts - posting very late but have been in my drafts

not only am I trying to resist the symptoms of bleeding but also the forces that frame the luteal phase and it’s related behaviors as something to correct

my mom told me the other day that my grandmother wasn’t allowed to cry at all growing up or she would be punished and therefore didn’t show much emotion at all throughout her entire life. I think I am making up for all of those lost tears

all the religious texts I study are the product of the times they were created. I think I view them as their own universal truths, and now am starting to think more about how different life is now than when they were written. This creates an even further distance from what kind of life is regarded as god honoring or spiritually sound and what my modern life looks like. Very rob bell sentiment that we need to come up with new ways of expressing divine connection, which is funny because that’s another text from my / the past

As I was drafting this closer to the full moon, I wrote this whole paragraph about thinking I accidentally manifested losing a friend. It deleted when I looked back at the draft and I thought it was a sign to move further towards the nonattachment I already felt. This somehow kind of worked in a way because once I fully felt that, the friend reached out to me to talk. She’s coming home for the holidays and wanted to clear the air before seeing each other. It was a weird chaotic conversation that at first made me feel nothing but happy it happened until into the night my ego started reacting and keeping me up.

What the hell did she have to be mad at me for?? Why tf does she think she can talk to me like that? All these things started running through my mind and it is then that the real work begins because I have to stay committed to my peace and nonattachment, not completely switch up my energy now that I have felt something.

There was a feeling of unresolve because that lives inside of her. She has so much resentment she needs to let go of before she can really heal. I think this winter I’ll continue balancing the line of being sweet and affirming aaand being honest and direct. And I am certainly notttt going to feel bad about any of it, besides the fact that it’s really a shame that we all can feel so low and out of control sometimes.

[jmblyajones]

Eagles: The Plan (4x7)

1. Sorry not sorry. Im ready for them to tear Jack’s ass UP!

Klara… I guess since Jack didn’t frame you for domestic abuse it’s easy to say “move on”. Your friiiend still gets bullied over this man’s lies. Girl, what are you saying rn?

2. Ngl if I was Ludde I would be epically pissed too! We’re supposed to be close and I have to learn that you’re confiding in my ex after I’ve been begging for weeks for you to tell me what’s going on.

Sam is looking at Andreas like wtf… he is one patient man.

3. Sweat you rim of the devil’s asshole!

4. It’s not even fair. It’s like I wanna be pissed at Andreas but he could literally drop dead at any moment. This whole situation… We gonna throw Ludde a bone? This literally to sad to watch 🥴

5. Andreas I’m sorry but nobody is trying to get your ass sent to jail when you got one foot already past the pearly white gates.

Jack coming back… this sounds like a disaster. Y’all gonna confront this fool after the game bro… on school property

Sam get your man, he’s becoming delirious.

Elias taking public lashings, yes!!

Y’all this deliberation is too funny. Oh no, we’re laying out personal drama now. YIKES.

I can definitely see all of them ambushing him in the end.

6. Amie and Elias… y’all are not fixing this quick enough for me.

Elias is really trying to flip it so that Amie is the ‘Mats’ in their situation. I’m sick.

Baby girl, I love you but we are gonna need to aim higher than USA. We are utter gutter over here…

Not Elias saying hockey isn’t the only thing he loves… He walked a good 4-5 steps towards her to say that then just walks away. Just wretched!

7. You know if Ludde got revenge on the dudes who busted his leg, I wouldn’t mind seeing that. But this season isn’t about revenge it’s about ✨growth✨

8. Not the mama telling Klara’s assistant to leave 😭

9. WOW bro. WOW. Naima in the hospital!Everyone is at their lowest. Felicia was so happy the phone answered too 😭

10. I really feel like something is gonna go wrong. Fucking A… of course Andreas is coughing up a lung.

11. An Amie and Ludde scene… when is the last time i’ve seen that??🥺

12. I already know who’s knocking on this girl’s door…

HOLD AWN!! How does he know where tf she lives???

13. Wait wait wait wait wait. No no no no no. HE DID NOT JUST PASS OUT!

I thought taking a bite out of that burger was supposed to symbolize him getting better? I’m sick.

14. Jack really just bussed in Felicia’s house wtf. Where are the crutches when you need them? I would light his ass up so quick.

It’s cause and effect. Jack should have just sat there and ate his food. He’s ruining lives and thinking these folks won’t come to collect.

Jack drove Andreas to the hospital… hmm. He still ain’t shit though.

NOT THE GUN! This motherfucker is out of this WORLD! FELICIA WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING IT????

I can’t..

15. Amie found Elias! She’s trying to wake her baby up ohmygash. Wow they are really trying to stick me in my feelings.

16. Crying on my damn couch ain’t gonna bring you sympathy or salvation.

Felicia wtf are you talking about??? This is the spawn from hell!

You know, maybe I’d lie too for him to get the hell outta my house.

17. Elias and Amie’s longing ass stare in the background. Can we just make up and make out like what are we doing…?

18. Ok something about people still thinking Ludde is a domestic abuser doesn���t sit right with me… Also, I was kinda hoping Jack wouldn’t go willingly in to the good night. I wanted him to put up a fight all the way. That would have made him going to jail a little sweeter

[littlebabyboybarzal]

Howdy, OG Sugar Daddy Sid instigator here, so lets imagine this:

So Sid gets passed your number/public social and sits on them for three whole months. His excuse is the team needs his attention, but they get knocked out the cup in a shoot out against the Bruins of all teams, and he literally wants to set himself on fire. Normally he makes his rounds sending texts or trying to through a group get together before all the boys run off, and wait until camp in the coming months, but he decides maybe for once he should put himself first.

So he re-downloads Instagram, spends a hour trying to figure out his password and looks up the girl that was mentioned to him and fuck she was pretty. He scrolls through her page at least seven times, and because he is Sidney he makes sure to analyze every frame. Zooms in on books and movies, discarded in the background of what he assumes is her office/library. Zooms to see what her coffee order is on her cup, and the music playlist shown in the selfie of her finishing her Peloton session. He does this, cause he needs some type of ice breaker, especially since it seems the girl doesn't watch any sports.

All in all he's terrible at conversation and its amplified if he has to talk to pretty woman. And he's sure he can't just be like, 'he i'm the guy who's teammate said for a nominal fee you'll...spend time with me? make me feel good?' He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. He's never know what he's doing, but at least the woman who crowd around him and try to get seen know who he is.

Or at least he knows what they want from him. They know everything about him and projected want they want or assumed him to be on him already so all he really had to do was show up. If they've convinced themselves he was charming, then he was just charming. He could just stand there awkwardly, and they'd take the lead. And he never minded because again, he had know idea how to be himself around people. Hell if he's being honest he doesn't know how to be himself, when he's by himself.

Every waking moment is hockey and trying to get the cup again so people will shut up about him old. And he knows he's older. Knows that Nate and McDavid are the next ones up, but fuck he still has some fight in him. Everything has been hockey his entire life, and the fact that he knows he only has a few more years left he feels like he's wasted his damn life and it scares him. Yeah the team took the cup home more than once, and his stats and performance shows why he'll go down as one of the great ones, but when its all said and done what will he have to show? At least most of his teammates and peers can show outside of hockey, some amazing accomplishments to be proud. They have wives or girlfriends, and children. He doesn't has shit except self pity, and wallowing fear once his jersey is retired he'll disappear back to NS and live in his house be his lonesome.

And while he's not crazy enough to think this call girl or aspiring 'sugar baby' will be the answer to his problems, he's certain she can at least be a distraction. And he needs one desperately. So he goes to his note app and types up a professional paragraph, pastes and send it to her DM and waits.

SD! SID ANON LIVES!!! HELLO BELOVED AND THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY!!

Okay that’s absolutely perfect! So this girl gets a dm from Sid and she’s like “this is a fake account stop bothering me.” And Sid is like no it’s real! Please don’t share it and I’m totally bad at this but I just think you’re kinda gorgeous and maybe we could go get coffee or something sometime? And she’s like mhm…okay sure why tf not.

So day of the date Sid is scared shitless. He cannot believe what he’s about to do but she’s so nice and pretty and he has this desire to pamper her even though she doesn’t seem like that kind of girl. He finally says fuck it and goes to meet her, even though he wanted to pick her up she insisted they meet at the shop so he agrees. When he gets there, he’s early cuz he’s annoying. He’s not much of a coffee guy but he gets something simple and grabs a booth. When she walks in, he’s shook ™ and he kinda stumbles around to her and she thinks it’s adorable and she’s happy he’s not a catfish.

They hit it off and decide to keep hanging out. I’m thinking she’s a grad student or working an entry job that isn’t paying well as she’s like so she’s constantly strapped for cash but she manages. Sid doesn’t mind picking up the tab, he has more money than he knows what to do with it. She always says no but he drives a hard bargain (and who can resist that face). He starts getting more extravagant—that fancy bag she’s been coveting, paying her rent, getting her a car and she’s like umm??? What’s going on? You’re acting like you’re my sugar daddy and Sid just gives a lazy grin and shrugs.

So they work out an agreement and they’re not dating but Sid definitely want her to be his girlfriend. Did I mention she knows little to nothing about hockey and Sid loves this because he can ramble on about it and she’s sort of interested but he’s so cute when he babbles so she just lets him go off. Sometimes she goes to his games and sits with the wags and they’re like “oooh!! Sid has a new gf?!” And she’s like oh no we’re just friends. But are they??

This is what I do in my budgeting class instead of paying attention 😌

[neo-culture-taste]

Subscribe! - Say ‘Yes’ to Me

Pairing: Doyoung x Reader (fem)

Genre: AU, romance, comedy, fluff

Word count: 3706

Summary: A YouTube inspired drabble series where you and your boyfriend upload videos catering to the couple tag.

Author’s Note: Whoops! :p Had too much fun with this one.  - D

For other members, see masterlist.

The video opened with Doyoung holding the camera as he checked himself out in the bathroom mirror. He stood there and messed with his hair for what seemed like forever, but was actually only a few seconds, until he was satisfied with the placements of the strands. He proceeded to smile into the lens, changing the angle of his head until he found the exact spot where he thought the right side of his face presented to be the most flattering. It was pointless since he looked good at every angle no matter which way he was facing.

"Hello, everyone," he greeted the audience. "The day has finally come for Y/N’s punishment, mwah ha ha." He added a maniacal laugh at the end as if he were some sort of super villain. "If you remember last week's video, Y/N lost the game and I asked you all to come up with a penalty for her. The highest voted comment was a challenge where she has to say 'yes' to me for 24 hours, which is perfect since she already has a hard time doing what I say in the first place. I know that's why you chose it. You all even added that if she doesn't comply with my wishes, then she gets an additional penalty at the end. You all want to see her suffer and that's truly messed up!" He laughed and then switched the camera to his other hand. "Y/N is still in bed, so let's go wake her up so we can start this challenge."

Doyoung walked to the bathroom door, opened it, and walked through it to reveal you snoozing comfortably in your shared bed. He walked over to the side of the bed and held the camera to your unsuspecting face. He patted you on the shoulder but you didn't budge so he tried it again. You stirred a little and mumbled something, but you still didn't open your eyes. He called your name and tapped you on your face before you finally opened your eyes to give your boyfriend your grouchiest of morning death glares, eliciting a breathy laugh from him behind the camera.

"What the *bleep* are you doing?" you asked him in your grogginess. It was easy to tell that you were not a morning person. 

"Good morning, my love," he said, too cheerful for your current state of mind. "Do you remember what today is?"

You blinked slowly as you stared at your boyfriend with a blank expression. "Saturday?"

"Besides that."

You looked up at the ceiling as you tried to remember exactly what day it was. "June--"

"It's punishment day, Y/N," he said, cutting you off to quickly get to the point. Knowing you, you were going to try and go around the subject as long as you could.

"Ugh," you groaned and covered your face with the comforter. 

"You have to do everything I ask you for the whole day."

"No," you said in defiance from beneath the cover. 

"Luckily for you we haven't started yet." He pulled the cover away from your face then held the camera up so he appeared in the frame next to you. "My first order is for you to give me a kiss. Will you give me a kiss?"

You side eyed your boyfriend, suspicious of how easy of a request that was. Surely he wasn't going to be that nice for the whole day. You reluctantly agreed to kiss him and sat up on your forearms to kiss him on his lips. 

"Thank you. Now," he lifted himself away from you to stand up straight again, "will you go make me breakfast?" See. You knew it wasn't going to stay easy.

"But you're the one that always makes breakfast. I don't think my cooking will be up to your standards," you explained to him with faux concern as you tried to talk your way out of doing it. "You should make it yourself."

Doyoung clicked his tongue behind his teeth. "Tch. Look at this woman. If you don't do what I ask, then you'll get a penalty added on at the end."

Your face twisted in disbelief. "But this is already a penalty! A punishment!"

Doyoung laughed at your comical facial expression. "Yeah, so don't make this worse for yourself."

"What's the penalty for not listening?"

"Nope. Not telling you."

"I'm not getting up until you tell me."

"The longer you lay there the more time will be added on to your penalty."

You groaned and flopped your upper body back down onto the bed. "Uuuuuugh, fine! You're annoying me! Yes, I'll make you breakfast. Now go away so I can brush my teeth in peace."

The scene changed to you standing in front of your kitchen counter that had an assortment of different ingredients set out on top of it. Doyoung had already set everything up for you to cook for him whether you obeyed him or not.

"I want you to make me strawberry pancakes. Will you do that without complaining?"

You rolled your eyes but smiled at his sass anyway. "Yes, I will. However…”

“Yes?”

“If I’m going to play this game, I will need you to start adding ‘please’ after every request.”

“Fine. I can do that.”

“Great.” You began putting the dry ingredients into one of the bowls, appreciative that he printed out the directions for you because you sure as hell didn't remember how to make pancakes from scratch. After whisking all of that together, it was time to do the same with the wet ingredients. But you didn't see a point in doing it in a separate bowl when you were just going to mix it all together anyway, so you decided to just put everything into the bowl with the dry stuff.

"Ah--" Doyoung suddenly interjected as soon as you put the liquid vanilla extract into the dry mixture.

"What?" you asked him even though you already knew exactly what he was going to say.

He brought the camera to look at the vanilla in the bowl then back out to look at the directions he printed out. "This didn't say to put that in there yet," he said then put the camera back onto you.

"I'm supposed to be listening to you, not a piece of paper," you sassed him then picked up the egg to break it.

Doyoung scoffed and began to roll his eyes until he saw what you were about to do with the egg. "Y/N, stop!"

"Why!"

"At least beat the egg before you put it in there."

"It's all going to be mixed anyway."

"Yeah, but it'll mix better if you--"

You lifted the egg then hit it on the side of the bowl.

"Don't you dare."

You brought your other hand up to break the egg open over the bowl.

"Y/N, I swear."

"My dearest Doyoung. I am making your breakfast like you asked of me," you said with a saccharine tone of voice. "So please back tf up off me."

Your boyfriend's lips rolled inward in annoyance even as he tried to suppress his smile. You loved giving him a hard time because the faces he made whenever you got on his nerves were so gosh darn cute. "And you're supposed to be doing what I say. I want you to mix the ingredients the correct way. Will you mix them like the directions say, please?"

You tilted your head to the side and smiled sweetly at him. "Of course I…won't!" 

"No! Please no!”

You cracked open the egg and Doyoung zoomed the camera into the bowl as the yolk plopped unceremoniously on top of the other ingredients. He then sighed heavily and put the camera back onto you as you measured out the amount of milk you were going to put in next.

"That's ten seconds added onto your penalty," he reprimanded.

"Worth it." You winked at him and put the rest of the wet ingredients into the bowl and mixed everything together. 

The next couple of clips were sped up as you went through the rest of the process of making the pancakes while Doyoung fussed at you for one reason or another. The video went back to regular speed as you put the last hot pancake onto a plate and drizzled strawberry syrup on top of the whole stack. You then served it to your boyfriend who was now waiting patiently for his breakfast at the table. He handed the camera to you and you focused it on him meticulously cutting into the pancakes with a fork and knife. He tasted his first piece and carefully chewed it as if he were a judge on a cooking show about to make his evaluation.

“You didn’t follow the directions word for word, but you still did a great job.”

“Duh. Because I’m awesome,” you said and Doyoung put another piece onto his fork and held it up for you to taste. You ate it and immediately hummed in satisfaction, quite proud of how delicious the food you made turned out to be. “Oh my gosh, I’m amazing.”

“Yes. You have pleased me,” your boyfriend said exaggeratedly proper. “You may go about your scheduled activities for the day until I am in need of your assistance again.”

You chuckled at the funny way he was speaking. “Yes, sir.” You leaned over to kiss him goodbye. Now your lips were covered in strawberry syrup.

The clip changed to early afternoon with Doyoung adjusting the camera on it’s mini  tripod in front of the couch he was sitting on. He once again fiddled with the hair in front of his face like it actually did something before leaning back comfortably onto the couch.

“Y/N!” he called out to you requesting your presence.

“What!” your faint voice yelled back from the other side of the house.

“I desire cuddles!” 

Skeptical of his intentions once again, you hesitated in responding. “That's it?”

“Will you come sit with me on the couch?” he asked you in the format related to the challenge.

“Will you come sit with me on the couch, what?”

He scoffed. “Will you come sit with me on the couch, please.”

You weighed out your options. So far he hadn’t asked you anything too physically demanding, and on any other day you’d use any excuse to snuggle up to your boyfriend. But today there was definitely going to be a twist added onto Doyoung’s so called ‘cuddles’. You reluctantly walked into the living room and Doyoung held his arms open wide upon your arrival. You sat down next to him and he wrapped his arms around you in a hug so tight you could barely move around. You knew he was up to something.

“How long are we going to stay like this?” you asked with your head against his shoulder.

“Until I’m ready to let go,” he said, then laid down on the couch so both of you were on your sides. “Are you comfortable?”

He knew damn well you weren’t comfortable. “No,” you answered him.

"That's time added on to your penalty." That sneaky fox!

“That doesn't count!" you protested.

“You're supposed to say yes to everything, remember?" you couldn’t see his face, but the camera caught the sly grin that spread across his lips.

"You set me up!"

“Hush, Y/N. Enjoy our time together.”

Wanting to get back at him, you maneuvered your arms the best you could to tickle his sides. He jerked in surprise and almost let go of you, but he held strong and somehow squeezed you even tighter.

“Don’t touch me. You’re not allowed to do that,” he said through clenched teeth as he squirmed around you.

“You can’t hold me like this and expect me not to touch you,” you said then wrapped your legs around his, binding him in place.

“Stop! Let me go,” he said in weak protest knowing his plan had backfired.

“I’ll let you go when you let me go.”

“You’re supposed to be listening to me!” he whined and you couldn't help but laugh at his dismay. 

“You’re the one that wanted to cuddle.”

Doyoung released his hold around you in an attempt to push you away from him, but you had latched onto him like a baby koala and you didn’t plan on letting go any time soon. While he was trying to wrestle you off of him, the two of you ended up tumbling off of the couch, and the camera shook on its tripod when your bodies thudded to the floor. As the two of you laughed, Doyoung rolled over so you were on top of him while you continued to hold him tightly.

“Ten more seconds added. The length of your punishment is steadily increasing,” he said after catching his breath. The words appeared on the screen for your viewers since the two of you were no longer in the frame nor were you in a good range for the camera's microphone.

You smiled brightly at your boyfriend then kissed him before moving to snuggle your face into his chest. Once again you didn’t care how long your punishment ended up as long as you got to tease him and push his buttons. You didn't know how long the two of you were on the floor as you continued to give him a taste of his own medicine in the form of an overenthusiastic, loving embrace.

In the next scene, Doyoung brought you outside sometime in the evening and instructed you to wash his car. You look at him appalled and he simply handed you a bucket of soapy water and a big sponge before walking over and sitting down in the lawn chair he had set up prior in the garage. You grumbled to yourself about getting back at him then begrudgingly dunked the sponge into the bucket. At least he had said please this time without you asking. The video fast-forwarded through you soaping down his car and went back to normal speed when you picked up the water hose to rinse it off. 

“You’re rinsing it off already?” Doyoung had been fiddling around on his phone the whole time and hadn’t realized how far you’d gotten in the cleaning and became skeptical of whether you half-assed it or not. 

“Yes, my darling,” you answered him sarcastically as you began hosing the soap off of the car.

He got up from his seat and brought the camera over to inspect your car washing skills. You saw him walking behind you trying to find any spot that you might have missed and decided to splash him with the water on his ankles. 

“Hey!” he skipped back and yelped in surprise.

“Hi,” you said with a cheeky grin and pointed the hose directly at him. “Go back to your chair and let me finish this in peace while I’m still deciding to listen to you,” you playfully threatened him.

“You won’t spray me while I’m holding the camera,” he taunted back at you.

“I have great aim.” You twisted the dial on the hose to the jet stream setting and readied your finger on the trigger as a warning. “Besides, we can buy a new one.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh sweetie, you know I will.”

There was a short moment of silence between you and your boyfriend before he turned around and quickly ran back to his seat in the garage. You smiled triumphantly and turned back to finish rinsing off the car. But you had forgotten to change the setting on the hose back to the shower stream, so when you sprayed the car at close range a lot of the water came splashing back onto you. You shrieked in surprise and took a step back but ended up slipping and falling into the wet grass of your lawn.

Although he was laughing at your expense, Doyoung still jumped up from his seat and ran over to you to see if you were okay. He laughed even harder when he saw that you were fine, but one side of your body was now covered in soap and mud.

“That’s what you get for being mean to me,” he said as he helped pull you up from the ground. He then used the clean side of your shirt to wipe the mud off of his hand.

“This is all your fault!” 

“You’re the one that lost the game.”

“Man, I really like this shirt, too--” Suddenly, an idea to save your t-shirt from staining popped into your head. You bent over and grabbed the hose off the ground, made sure to change the setting back to the shower stream, then you used it to wash off all of the mud on your body.

“Oh, that’s pretty smart,” Doyoung commended your resourcefulness until he realized that you were purposely wetting your shirt and making it damn near see through as it clung tantalizingly to every curve of your torso. “Wait, Y/N. Ring that out so we don’t get demonetized.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion before you looked down at your wet shirt and realized what he was talking about. “This is going to get us demonetized?” you asked incredulously. You were still fully clothed. Just wet. 

Doyoung nodded and moved the camera up and down to simulate it. And that was when you  took notice of the way your boyfriend was staring at you and realized what was actually going on inside his head. 

You put on a knowing smirk and placed a hand on your hip. “Are you just saying that because you don’t want the internet to see me looking so irresistibly sexy?”

Doyoung was silent as he shook his head and the camera from side to side.

“Are you also saying that because you don’t want our neighbors to see me like this either?”

He shook his head and the camera again.

“Are you lying to me right now?”

Caught in his ruse, Doyoung nodded and moved the camera up and down.

“Well, you haven’t even seen ‘sexy’ yet,” you said before hopping up to sit on the hood of his car and pose seductively as you sprayed the water directly onto your chest.

“Y/N, WHAT THE *BLEEP*! GET DOWN!” Your boyfriend sputtered as he spun around with the camera to see if any of your neighbors were outside or looking through their windows. He ran over to the faucet of the watering hose and turned off the water before running back to you and dragging you off the hood of his car and into the garage. 

You were laughing your ass off at his reaction and told your viewers that you wished they could see how red his face had gotten but you knew he wasn’t going to show them how annoyed and embarrassed he was. After catching your breath, you tried to hug him to make it up to him but he took a step back to dodge your damp embrace.

“That's ten more seconds added onto your penalty.”

You giggled and whined for him to hug you, but he backed away again. “Doie!”

“Now go inside and take a shower.”

“Yes, sir~” you complied happily,  ignoring his absent ‘please’. You were about to go into the house, but you didn’t want to make a mess on the floor. “I can’t go in with these wet clothes,” you told him.

Your boyfriend sighed. “You're right. Let me get you a towel--Y/N STOP!” Doyoung all but screeched when he saw you lifting up your wet t-shirt, ready to yank it off over your head.

The video changed to the next clip of Doyoung barging into your bedroom and announcing that it was time for your punishment. You sat up in the bed and inspected him as he sat on the bed next to you. He didn’t have anything in his hands other than the camera despite being in the kitchen for so long doing who knows what. You figured he was going to make you eat something, but alas, his hands were empty.

“I’m going to kiss you all over your face for a whole minute,” he told you as he sat the camera onto the nightstand and adjusted it so you both were in the frame. 

“Why is that a punishment? Was that the best you could come up with?”

“Shush. You’ll see,” he said, then brought his face close to yours as he parted his lips and purposely breathed his rancid breath into your nostrils. It reeked of garlic and onions.

“Ew! Doyoung! What the hell!”

“I said shush!” he silenced you by grabbing the sides of your head and began peppering stinky kisses all over your face. 

Your face was scrunched up in disgust, but you endured it by holding your breath for the entire sixty seconds of semi-delightful torture. When it got to the end of the minute, Doyoung ended your ‘punishment’ with an open mouthed kiss to your lips and you were indeed able to taste the offensive vegetables.

“Blegh!” you exclaimed after he let go of your head. “That was awful.”

“That was the point,” he said then pulled you into a one armed hug. “You did pretty okay today and got through it even though you struggled to follow directions.” Aw, he was being so nice saying that you only ‘struggled’ instead of not listening to him completely.

“Don’t worry I’m going to get you back for everything,” you said and kissed him on his cheek.

“Not unless you lose again and I’ll have to make a part two of this video.”

“Yeah right. You winning was a fluke. But I’m gonna getcha. When you least expect it. Don’t mess with team Y/N.”

He rolled his eyes before he addressed the audience. “Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe. And we’ll see you all next week.”

After he said his closing remarks he opened his mouth and huffed his hot breath in your face one last time, and the video cut out with you jerking violently away from him.

- D

[figonas]

Twilight Re-watch Notes Pt. 1 - A Contest for the Worst Movie Quote in History

I'd like to think I'm funny so please enjoy my scene-by-scene notes from a recent Twilight Saga re-watch.

Hey Catherine Hardwicke, opening with the death of an animal was probably not the best choice but go off I guess??

There is a lot of general Bella awkwardness that I'm skipping over here but the scene in gym class is so horrifically, painfully uncomfortable that I almost passed out from the second-hand embarrassment.

Jessica trying her best to be fake nice to the human embodiment of a crumpled soda can: "Aren't people from Arizona like....really tan"

Bella with all the cadence of a child who just found out Santa isn't real: "yeah..I guess that's why they kicked me out"

Mike clearly just trying to get his dick wet: "HAHAH you are funny"

no mike she is not.

I'm not gonna go into the biology class scene because god knows tumblr has beaten that particular horse to death. BUT the scene in the administration office immediately after that is a TRIP. Edward has one of his most dramatic lines here when they won't let him switch classes: “I’ll just have to endure it” ?!?!?!?!?!?! This is INSANITY, he sounds like he's going to burst into tears like Edward please chill you aren't even being a little subtle.

I will never get over Bella trying to put Ketchup on her burger and then just???? giving up???? when it doesn't come out after she limply shakes it approximately once.

“HOW YOU LIKIN DA RAIN GIRL” Is our first contender for the worst and most unnatural line in movie history, and trust me there are plenty more.

Bella accusatorily saying “you were gone” to Edward as if this dude who she met for approximately 30 minutes 2 weeks ago owes her even a PALTRTY SCRAP of an explanation about anything???????

Actually, this whole scene is a horrific nightmare of awkward intrusive conversation:

“You’re asking me about the weather” HOE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER

“hey did you get contacts” WHO JUST ASKS THAT?!?

and of course; “it’s the fluorescents” [RUNS AWAY]

Charlie and Bella have the only organic-sounding dialogue in the entire movie. Any awkwardness they have is BELIEVABLE father-daughter awkwardness and not like "I'm being forced to film this against my will" awkwardness like every other exchange in this film series.

Bella asks Edward ALL OF ONCE about him saving her from the truck and Edward gets so haughty and smug thinking that Bella won't figure it out

“you’re not gonna let this go are you?” “no” “then I hope you enjoy disappointment” [storms off] MY DUDE LITERALLY 2 SCENES LATER SHE FIGURES IT OUT IN 3 GOOGLE CLICKS

“I had an adrenaline rush, it’s very common you can google it” contender number two for the terrible dialogue award.

Edward saying “if you were smart you would stay away from me” AFTER HE APPROACHED HER LIKE FUCK OFF [skeleton throwing its own skull gif]

Kstew got a lot of flack for her performance in this movie but when she has a good partner to exchange lines with she SHINES. The scene with Angela and her at the beach where she tells her to ask Eric to prom is GOOD. EVERY scene with Charlie in THIS ENTIRE FRANCHISE is GOOD. It is nothing but pure misogyny that Rpatz didn’t catch any flack for his truly, horrifically awkward performance

I cannot believe Stephanie thought it would be a good idea to have Edward save Bella from potentially getting gang r*ped like I get it girl is about the drama but still this is just a TOOOUCH too far

“your hand is so cold,” WHO SAYS THIS TO SOMEONE THEY BARELY KNOW COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED???

SHE TRIES TO REFUSE CARRYING BEAR MACE WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST R*PED NOT 4 HOURS PREVIOUSLY LIKE SIS CARRY A KNIFE?!?!?!?!?

The “you’re impossibly fast & strong” monologue is so bad I want to barf

“I’ve killed people before” “doesn’t matter” BITCH YES IT DOES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

“MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN” IS SO BAD. Like we all recognize how bad this is right? Especially when one considered the target demographic for these films, i.e. teenage girls, have NO FUCKING FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS WHAT.SO.EVER.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” YOU’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF 3 SECONDS I CAN’T WITH Y'ALL. AT LEAST THE BOOK HAD SOME BUILD-UP JESUS GEEZUS

Who thought this meadow scene was a good idea, they need to be sent straight to hell. WHY ARE THEY LAYING DOWN LIKE, SIT MAYBE?????? IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL THEY LOOK LIKE DOLLS I HATE IT

The scene where they get out of the car and Edward puts his arm around Bella while Spotlight by Mutemath plays in the background is TOP TIER teen drama bs and I love it. Far and away the best shot in the movie apart from The Baseball Scene(TM).

I will never get over the fact that Edward's bitch ass rats Bella out for already eating when she comes over to meet his family. BE FUCKING COOL EDWARD FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD!!!

Esme is too pure for this world I can’t deal with her, & Emmet waving the knife is my favorite thing in all 5 of these movies

Why tf are Alice and Jasper fucking off doing god knows what in a tree and not helping with dinner like everyone else? Y'all ain't special even Rosalie is helping

Esme talking to Rosalie “Clean this up..now” I LOVE YOU BE MY MOM

Earlier they talk about the fact that vampires don’t sleep BUT the first thing Bella says when she walks into Edward's room is “no bed” girl we know what you after you ain't slick.....

WHAT IS THIS DANCING SCENE IN HIS BEDROOM IT’S HORRIBLE TO WATCH and I want to find whoever thought “well I could always make you” was a good line for Edward to say and slap them directly in the mouth.

“hold on tight spider monkey” excuse me while I VOMIT

Mike offering his opinion on Bella dating Edward HOWEVER justified is automatically invalidated by A. his own romantic interest in Bella and B. the fact that he has also know Bella for all of 10 minutes & has no bearing on her personal life whatsoever

THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS THIS MAN HAS BEEN COMING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP THIS IS RED FLAG CITY LIKE BELLA WATCH A TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY OR READ THE NEWS FOR FUCKS SAKE

THIS FRANCHISE HAS THE MOST HORRIBLE KISSING SCENES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN HEAR LITERALLY EVERY BREATH, EVERY AWKWARD PRESS OF LIPS. You're telling me THIS was the best take of this???? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THIS WAS TO FILM

The whole scene when Bella is telling her dad about her date with Edward is absolutely god tier. Charlie snapping the barrel of the shotgun closed, him motioning that he has a halo on, asking her if she still has her pepper spray. BILLY BURKE LIFTED THIS MOVIE UP AND TRIED SO HARD TO CARRY IT ON HIS BROAD, MUSTACHIOED DAD SHOULDERS, WE STAN

WHERE TO START WITH THE BASEBALL SCENE:

Supermassive Black Hole in the background, Alice going AWF with her pitching, Rosalie getting all pissed when Bella says she's out and Emmett yells "c'mon babe it's just a game" like the puppy dog of a person (vampire?) he is, CARLISLE WEARING A SCARF WHILE PLAYING BASEBALL, I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER FROM JASPERS BAT TRICKS, EMMET AND EDWARDS LAUGH AFTER CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER.

A TRULY IMMACULATE MOVIE SCENE. This scene isn’t long enough

“My monkey man” might be the worst line in this movie, I’m so torn between which one is the worst. Also, I'm just now realizing that this is the second time someone has compared a loved one to some type of monkey and I really don't like it.

Bella's defeated “I can’t hurt him” breaks my heart every time. AND FUCKING BILLY BURKE pulling out his acting chops with Charlie’s poor little broken sounding “I know I’m not that much fun to be around we can do more stuff together” & “I just gotcha back” LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HURTS ME ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

I know I've skipped over a lot but it's just a lot of like star wipe level montage of nonsense, so we are mOVING ON to what is possibly the biggest plot hole I've never recognized before now: How in the hell was James planning on luring Bella out if he didn’t find that videotape of Bella's mom looking for her????? Or was he just going to bust up in the holiday inn, metaphorical guns blazing & toss Bella out a window???

This fight scene between James & Edward is VERY poorly choreographed and you can practically see the stunt wires pulling on their clothes but no one is surprised..this is Twilight after all.

Who the fuck starts the fire in the ballet studio if Carlisle & Edward are with Bella, Jasper and Emmet are holding James's arms and Alice is ripping his head off???? Esme and Rosalie aren't there so the only explanation is that Emmett's power Stephanie never told us about is his ability to start small, controlled, indoor bonfires with his mind.

If Bella was losing blood from her femoral artery it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she would have been cognizant enough to tell them her hand was burning + THERE’S A BIG ASS BITE HOW DID THEY MISS IT???

Let Me Sign is such a good fucking song. Actually, while we're on music every song on every Twilight Saga soundtrack SLAPS. At least 1 department at Summit Entertainment was staffed with competent people. (side note, why the fuck do I know the studio by name that made this movie. I need to go lie down)

Bella acting a damn fool in the hospital bed like clingy much

CHARLIE IS SUCH A GOOD DAD FUCK!

The Edward/Jacob beef is so dramatic at prom can you both chill for 5 minutes we haven't even gotten to y'alls bullshit yet that's not until New Moon.

Bella really thought this mfer was gonna turn her at prom in the middle of the dancefloor??????????

Flightless Bird American Mouth. That's it, that's the bullet point

Victoria coming to prom, like we stan a dramatic bitch.

I will almost CERTAINLY post my New Moon (Extended Edition) notes in a few days. & yes I do have notes on the entire franchise.

[offtopicoverload]

Just in Case

Sometimes you have to spend all night outside someone’s door, or all morning sitting at their desk, just in case they need some pizza. Or you, they might also need you.

hey, whaddaya know, i actually wrote something lmao. ive literally wanted to fix this plotline since i read it like six months ago or something, so i thought i finally would instead of doing something more responsible. and fair warning, it’s been ages since i played tfs and i have a shit memory, so if their characters are off, here’s my excuse

T Rating (just college kids being a bit dumb, so no warnings or anything)

Kaitlyn x MC (Maya)

~2k (a true random little ficlet lol)

Maya knocks on the door lightly, the raps hesitant as she turns her voice as sweet as she can possibly manage, “Hey, Kait? Do you wanna talk? Do you need anything? Do you want a hug? Or I could order pizza?” she rambles, shifting nervously. Her hands clasp and unclasp before her, palms clammy as her stomach rolls in waves of anxiety, a slow-building hurricane.

And it’s not helped by the answer she receives from the blank wood before her, “I want to be left alone.” It’s harsh and upset and frustrated as it leaks through the cracks between the frame and the door.

“You sure?” She fights against every instinct to throw the door open, fingers twitching at the desire to turn the knob just below her palm.

“Yes,” that same severe, irritated voice answers once more, “Go away.”

She sighs, head drooping, “You know I can’t do that, Kait. So I’ll just, um…” she drops to the floor, turning so her back rests against the door, her head turned upwards as she speaks, “If you need anything, I’m right here. Offer for pizza still stands.”

Another heavy sigh slips past her lips as she receives no response from the other side of the door. She digs in her jacket pocket for her phone, pulling it out and tapping until she finds Zack’s contact.

Hey

heya Meya

Can we talk?

always

I think Kait’s mad at me

why do you think that

She slammed the door in my face and told me to go away

yeah, i’d say she’s mad

did you leave her alone

I stopped talking

and you also went away

No I’m outside her room

just give her space

What if she needs pizza?

she can get herself pizza My

I don’t want her to be alone

she wants to be alone tho

I need her to know I’m always here

she doesn’t need you right now

i think you should give her space

What if something happens again?

like what

Like her birthday

There’s a long pause with no response, not even grey bubbles bouncing in the corner.

you stopped talking

Yeah. Promise

how long are you gonna stay there

As long as she’s in her room

that’ll be all night

That’s okay. Her door’s pretty comfy

Maya

I have to be here if she needs pizza

Maya can almost hear the sigh that accompanies the next message,

fine

night My

Night Zack

Her head falls back against the door, a soft thump sounding with it as her eyes flutter shut. Her hands knit in her lap, phone resting between them. A few sounds echo through the suite as the other roommates go about their evenings, but it’s quiet in Kaitlyn’s room.

It’s quiet and peaceful, and the day’s events are starting to wear on Maya as she patiently awaits a call from Kaitlyn. She sits there, the silence behind her beginning to settle along her shoulders like a weighted blanket, starting to gently pull her from consciousness.

Maya’s body careens backwards and her head crashes into the hardwood beneath her, a groan echoing as her eyes blink open. Kaitlyn’s standing above her, hovering with a clenched jaw and furious glare as morning light plays off her skin, her hair, her eyes, her everything in a halo.

The door’s been jerked open, Maya falling with it until she’s flat on her back with a dull ache in the back of her skull. She attempts to blink away the haze that’s clouding her mind of any thoughts but the girl standing above her, and all too soon memories of yesterday flood her senses.

A blush burns her cheeks, heating her face warmer than the sun still alighting Kaitlyn in an ethereal glow, “Hi,” she offers meekly, a small wave momentarily drawing Kaitlyn’s gaze.

But a second later she’s stepping over the crumpled form of Maya without a single word or backwards glance, striding in the direction of the suite’s kitchen. And Maya watches her go, watches her disappear around the corner, watches the corridor turn empty and lifeless as she exhales what feels like the last of her tether to Earth.

---

“Hey Kaitlyn,” Zack greets through a mouthful of poptarts, as chipper as usual. He swallows thickly, “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she grumbles, sidestepping him to pull the fridge door open, staring blankly into it and silently hoping something good will appear if she stares long enough.

Zack appears behind her, carefully nudging the fridge door closed, “You doing okay?”

She eyes him up suspiciously, “Yeah. Why?”

He responds with an awkward shrug, averting his gaze nervously, “You normally steal my poptart,” he mutters.

“Rookie mistake,” she grins, snatching the remaining half from his hand and taking a bite.

“So you’re okay?”

Kaitlyn stills, the poptart frozen away from her face, “Maya told you, didn’t she?”

“Well…” Zack glances away, shrugging under the weight of Kaitlyn’s judgemental gaze, “She told me you were mad at her, but not why.”

“My parents know,” she murmurs, eyes trained on the poptart held in her palm.

“That you’re gay?!”

Her eyes snap up to find a scandalized Zack staring back, “No, that my favorite color’s green. Yeah, that I’m gay!”

“That’s not good.”

“Nope,” she pops the ‘p’ before taking another bite.

“So why are you mad at Maya?”

“‘Cause it’s her fault.”

Zack’s eyes go wide, “Did she tell them?!”

Dark hair flies around Kaitlyn’s shoulders as she shakes her head, “No. No,” she corrects, “But they saw us kissing.”

“Oh, so it was an accident.”

“Yeah.”

“Then why are you mad at Maya?”

“‘Cause she started this whole thing by coming along, and then followed me outside, and then she wouldn’t leave me alone on the train or on the way home,” she huffs.

“She just wants to be there for you,” Zack reaches out, squeezing her shoulder in an attempt at some sort of comfort. 

And Kaitlyn just shrugs him off, “I don’t need her.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“No, I don’t,” she shoots him an unimpressed look, taking the last bite of the poptart and dusting her hands off.

“Kait, we all need her. Like, literally, I think this dorm would fall apart without her.”

“Well, I don’t need her.”

“What if she needs you?”

“She’s an adult.”

“She’s your girlfriend.”

“Who’s an adult.”

Zack just stares at her with his jaw clenched, looking more irritated than Kaitlyn’s ever seen him.  “What?” she explodes defensively, squirming under his gaze.

He sighs, digging out his phone from his pocket and tapping for a few seconds before presenting a text thread to her. She cautiously takes the device, scanning over the messages dated as last night. “I don’t know what was going on with the pizza thing,” he mutters under his breath.

“It’s - it doesn’t matter,” she sighs, just as her eyes land on one message in particular. She huffs, shoving Zack’s phone back into his hands as she storms out of the kitchen and down the hall, frustrated once more.

She pauses outside Maya’s door at the mouth of the hallway, just two down from her own, which has since been abandoned. She steps closer, pressing her ear to the door in search of some excuse to not disrupt. But it’s quiet on the other end, the only noises coming from the rest of the suite surrounding them.

Kaitlyn gently nudges the door open, the hinges creaking painfully loudly as Maya’s bedroom slowly comes into view, a familiar and welcoming sight. Dark eyes scan the room, taking in the closed curtains and the cluttered desk before landing on the bed, where a lump rests beneath the sheets.

Maya’s back is to the door as she lays curled in on herself, her profile rising a fraction with every delicate breath, with her braids splayed in a mess on her pillow. Light from the kitchen spills inside, yellow splashing in sharp lines along her comforter and along the wall, Kaitlyn’s shadow further obscuring the room.

She slips further inside, closing the door just as carefully as she opened it and takes a few cautious steps towards the bed. Maya doesn’t stir an inch, her breathing the only sound in the room as Kaitlyn crosses to the desk tucked against the wall.

She sinks into the chair before it, her leg bouncing anxiously as she simply watches the form across the room from her. Her fingers twitch and tap as she replays the past few months, from that first night, to the football games, to the sorority drama, to her birthday, and all the mess that came with it.

Though, maybe some good came with it too. Like movie nights and coffee dates and afternoons spent studying on the rooftop. Like wide smiles and unrestrained laughs and crinkled, bright eyes. Like eager kisses and tight hugs and lazy morning cuddles.

The form stirs, rolling onto her other side until a stray ray of sunlight is streaked across her cheek. Her eyes flutter open before she’s fumbling onto her elbows, “Kait?” she whispers, her voice heavy with sleep.

“Yeah,” Kaitlyn mumbles, her head dipping awkwardly.

“What are you doing?”

“Thought I’d stick around in case you needed anything.”

Maya softens, a gentle quiet filling the room before her hands find their way out from under the covers, grasping in Kaitlyn’s direction, “Come here,” she urges with a wave.

Kaitlyn obliges, standing and shuffling to the edge of the bed, where Maya takes her hand and tugs her onto the mattress. Kaitlyn slips beneath the comforter, her arms curling around Maya as she cuddles close, burying her face in Kaitlyn’s shoulder.

“Are you gonna be okay?” she whispers into Kaitlyn’s shirt, her breath hot where it seeps through the fabric to warm Kaitlyn’s skin.

Kaitlyn draws her closer, their legs tangling beneath the sheets as she tucks her chin over Maya’s head, absentmindedly twirling a braid around one finger, “Yeah, I think I just needed some time to think, you know? And my parents probably need space, so it’ll be awhile before I talk to them anyway.

“Maybe I can sort something out or write a letter, I don’t know. I don’t think I know what to say, but I’m working on it and trying to figure out how to move forward. I was up most of the night thinking about how I could fix things, or what I should do, and stressing about if I should even be bothered, and my mom ended up texting me and we spoke for a bit. It was nice that she wasn’t upset, but my dad’s another story.” She finally stops for air, looking down to find Maya’s eyes closed and her breathing back to that soft and gentle rhythm.

“Are you still awake?” she whispers, eyes tracing the way the few rays of sunlight slipping through the curtain dance along her skin, illuminate her features.

Maya hums in the back of her throat, “Mmhmm.”

A small grin quirks Kaitlyn’s lips, “So you know what I was talking about?”

“Mmhmm.”

“So you have no problem with me, say, tossing you out of bed?” Kaitlyn teases, her smile growing as Maya’s features stay peaceful and sleep-laden.

“Mmhmm.”

Kaitlyn chuckles softly, the exhale stirring a few strands of her hair as it lay on the pillow as she murmurs, “Sweet dreams. I’m here just in case,” and plants a small kiss on Maya’s forehead.

[lozzypoz321]

Word count: 3.8k!

A/N: this is one of my favourite things I’ve ever written and I’m super proud of it, also the biggest word count I’ve ever done, hope you enjoy and pretty please leave feedback!! <3

Warnings: brief mentions of underage sex, calling of child services, brief mentions of an anxiety attack

Avengers college AU

-

Bucky: Guys I’m really desperate

Bruce: what?

Steve: wdym?

Bucky: does anyone have the first period free tomorrow? Can’t afford a babysitter for Riley :/

Tony: nah can’t, I’ve got a busy schedule

Clint: economics man

Bruce: science m8

Nat: same as Clint I’m afraid Jamesy

Clint: wbu Steve?

Steve: library club and I can’t skip

Bucky: >: I

Bucky: I think I may be having a midlife crisis.

Tony: okay 1. You’re 20 and 2. You shouldn’t have gone an’ knocked up a woman at 17

Nat: Tony!

Bucky: You’re acting like you didn’t get some at 17 Tony

Bruce: he has a fair point.

Nat: and anyway Riley’s too pure for your insults Tony

Bucky: uwu

Tony: you have officially turned into every teenage girl Barnes

Nat: anywayyyyyyy, Thor how’re you coping with your brother’s “phase”

Tony: I am starting to think Loki’s goth phase isn’t just a phase Natalie, I caught him walking around in a skull T-shirt with chains this morning

Clint: oh daym

Steve: what are you going to do?

Thor: I am going to show that I respect him by buying him some flowers!

Clint: What abt a chain tho?

Nat: wait, does anyone wanna go to laser tag at some point?

Tony: oooh yes!

Bruce: yeah I’m down! :)

Steve: I’ve got time yeah thanks

Bucky: I never back down from a laser tag game

Nat: great! I’ll book it with Tony’s card

Tony: wait what?

Bucky: oh shit, I’ve gotta go, Riley’s just run away somewhere brb

Clint: oh damn.

Bucky shoved his phone hastily into his pocket and looked around, desperation filling his eyes as they searched for any sign of his daughter. The bushes swayed with the evening breeze and very few people strolled around campus, either going on a walk, meeting up early with friends or getting food. The young adult heavily sighed out of relief when he caught sight of Riley, excitedly chatting to a man, who James quickly identified him as one of his other friends, Sam.

Braking out into a light jog, he made his way across campus to the pair while also trying to avoid bumping into the other students that were now staring at him, in college he was basically known as the fuck boy. Not that he was, the only reason behind it was that he had a daughter at 17 and everyone apart from his friends never saw past that.

“What’re you doing here munchkin?” He asked the small girl who was now shyly smiling at her father. Sam chuckled at the duo and turning his attention away from Riley, “wasn’t her fault dude, just telling me how she’s going to chemistry class tomorrow, can’t wait to see that” he said with a sly smirk on his face.

Bucky mentally sighed, yes it was going to be very tough tomorrow. Not only was she very restless, but she also was very talkative and wouldn’t put a filter on around people older than her, which most of the time could be very offensive. “Yeah! I promised him I’ll be good!”

“Oh really? Well I kinda hoped you’d have something to say to Professor Demon”

“Sam,” he groaned and ran a hand through his hair “his names Damon, if he caught you sayin’ that then we’d get suspended so quickly dude” Riley giggled and looked up at her dad innocently “and then we’d go poor because you suck at getting jobs”

“He sucks at everything” Sam mumbled, earning a glare from the other man. “We better go get some food now, there’s literally nothing in the fridge except a can of tuna, some ketchup and packets of sour sauce from takeout awhile ago”

“Oof man”

The walk to the diner that he had decided on going to after he couldn’t be bothered going grocery shopping was a long one. Riley insisted on stopping for every dog they saw, to ask to stroke it. “Ri’ baby, we can’t keep stopping, we gotta get back to the dorm before it’s your bedtime”

The pout she sent him instantly melted his heart before he realised she knew exactly what she was doing and he readjusted his grip on her hand so she didn’t end up running away again like she did earlier.

-

“Ri’ what do you want?” He asked the child once the waitress had come over asking for their orders. She gave a nonchalant shrug and turned her attention back to the video that was playing on Bucky’s phone that he had given her for the wait. “M’kay so, can we get a,” he took a pause to take a quick glance at the kid’s menu on the table “chicken nuggets and chips please with… chocolate milkshake?”

Riley nodded and the waitress, who from the name tag on her apron, was named Elizabeth, began to write down both his and her order but halfway through gave a quick glance up to Bucky, but when he caught her cheeks flooded red that made his daughter snort.

“Is that all sir?”

“Riley shut up” he quietly told the girl as Elizabeth walked away with her head down. “She was flirting with you dad” she laughed making him jokingly nudge her across the table “Oi, and anyway she’s not my type munchkin”

“Well don’t be too loud, the creeps staring at you dad”

He didn’t mean to, but without thinking his head whipped round to instantly make eye contact with the woman who was biting her lip, her eyes now as big as plates. His cheeks heated furiously as he immediately turned back around to face his adorable giggling daughter. “You better like those chicken nuggets munchkin cause I’ve got to go through this to get them”

“I will dad, I like chickens”

-

“Riley, come on you gotta get some sleep” he groaned once she’d slid onto the sofa where he was writing his assignment last minute for the fifth time that night.

“But dad,” She whined and pulled on the sleeve of the college logo sweater he had pulled on without even thinking about it once they’d got home as he had only just realised he had a paper to write, “I’m not tired and I don’t want to be alone”

His eyes softened at the pleading look on her face that would get him to do anything she wanted him to “m’kay baby, how about we go into into the bedroom and you try to get some sleep while I finish this up”

She nodded enthusiastically and he picked up the study books and paper in one hand and Riley in the other, deep eye bags could be found on his face from the lack of sleep that he had spent pulling all-nighters working on college work and began to make his way into the small room that had a single bed pressed up against the wall with a mattress next to it, an abundance of blankets on both.

He set the small girl onto the single bed and lowered himself down into the smaller one, using the bed frame to press his back against and using a hardback book underneath the paper to rest on.

“Why do people stare at you?” Bucky only just heard Riley mumble as her eyes struggled to keep open. He stopped writing but kept his hand in the same place while grinder his teeth, wondering what to say. “Cause baby… people don’t really think that I should have you this young,” he struggled to find the words as he felt his daughter roll onto her back to listen “but they don’t understand that I love you a lot, don’t I munchkin?”

Riley giggled behind him and uttered a small yes. “At least they haven’t tried to take me away again”

The young man's breath hitched in the back of his throat at the memory flashed through his mind. They’d been watching a movie with Steve after their classes and a knock had sounded on the door.Apparently, Child services had been called by one of the students and they tried to take her away but he wouldn’t let them, they had threatened to take him to court because the living settings were not meant for a child but 17-year-old Steve had calmly spoken to them outside the room while James had been on the edge of a panic attack inside.

“Yeah, scared me Ri’” his horse voice answered back making her eyebrows scrunch in confusion “I’m not going anywhere dad. Well, unless I die but y’know”

He sent her a bitch face look over his shoulder which made her uncontrollably giggle. Bucky chuckled and set his attention back to the essay while absent mindedly talking to her about random things.

“Is Loki gonna be at the laser tag place?” She asked and added on excitedly “oooh can I come dad?!”

“Sure doll, let me tell the guys”

Buck: we got plus ones on this laser tag thing?

Bruce: whyyyy??

Thor: oooh if that is the case I would very much like to take my brother!

Nat: oh are you bringing Riley then?

Buck: yup

Steve: I don’t see why not

Tony: I’m off to speak to this really hot girl

Clint: what that spice girl?

Buck: do you mean pepper?

Clint: ah yes!

He chuckled at the screen and chucked his phone to the side while looking up to his daughter on the bed above him, going to tell her they approved before stopping and smiling to himself as he caught sight of her peaceful, sleeping form.

Without waking her up, he got off the mattress and tucked in the blankets, quietly laughing as he retrieved the earbuds she had borrowed in the diner from her pocket. “Night munchkin”

-

Bucky groaned as the ringing of his phone awoke him, the technology next to his ear from when he had fallen asleep sat up. “Wha’?”

It was so early in the morning that he didn’t even have the energy to think of a proper sentence, never mind say one.

Steve: hey guys make sure your ready, it starts an hour after school

Clint: Steve. School. Finishes. At. 6. Pm. What. Tf. Do. You. Mean. It. Starts. In. An. hour. After.

Nat: we thought you could do with a late start

Tony: fuck you Romanoff

Clint: ten bucks says she’s smirking rn

Buck: ughhh

Bruce: I feel exactly the same way

Buck: no you don’t. I spent up until 6 am doing that English essay I forgot about

Tony: oof

Bucky: I will physically be running on caffeine this morning so be ready

He took a look around the messy room before deciding he would clean it another day and raised himself onto his feet before making sure Riley was still on the single bed asleep. He made his way to the tiny kitchen that held a mini-fridge, microwave, kettle and an oven with two counters on one side to make himself a cup of coffee that he was depending on if he had to spend an hour of his day running around in sweaty gear and a fake gun while making sure his daughter didn’t run away to get some sort of snack.

“Fuck” he mumbled as the loud whirring of the kettle started, sure to wake Riley up. “I’m tired” he heard a voice groan behind him, making the man whirl around, instantly making eye contact with his daughter. Sighing out of relief and returning back to the drink he was previously making. “So am I doll, yet you can’t have coffee”

He made her go get dressed and brush her teeth while he had a mental breakdown over what he was going to do about the paper he didn’t manage to finish before he fell asleep last night.

“Dad,” Bucky looked up to find Riley once again dressed in a pair of Joggers and a baggy T-shirt that she’d dragged out of the very few clean clothes in her draw “someone’s messaging your laptop”

She struggled to hold up the open device that showed multiple emails from one of his professors questioning his performance in class for the recent weeks. He inwardly cursed and took the laptop from her to begin emailing her back, choosing to ignore the insults she had thrown at him and his daughter in the middle of it.

“She is so full of-“ he stopped halfway through the sentence, noticing that Riley was sat next to him, quietly playing a YouTube video on his phone. “Whatcha watching Ri’?” He asked, his attention still focusing on trying to be professional in the email back. “c- c-“ she struggled to pronounce the word so she passed it to him.

“Commentary channels?” The man asked with a laugh, thinking about how most parents wouldn’t even let their 4 child near a video like that but yet again he wasn’t like most parents. He was 20 and had to do this alone.

“Oh yeah”

“Come on munchkin, we gotta get to first period before we’re late” he told her and grabbed his backpack to quickly shove his college things in before glancing at the digital clock on his phone and scooping Riley up so they could get there quicker.

Halfway through the panicked running across campus, the small girl decided she needed a nap and fell asleep against his shoulder, making Natalia laugh as they passed.

As soon as he arrived in the classroom he knew it was a bad idea when 11 pair of eyes fell to his, heavily panting and holding an asleep 4-year-old.

“Sir he’s late” a girl, younger than him moaned to the teacher who was now shrugging his shoulders “I don’t care”

“But professor, why’d he bring the baby?”

Bucky had enough of everyone staring at him, he readjusted the bag on his back before making his way to the back of the class, sitting in an empty seat in between Sam and Tony and placed Riley on his lap.

“That’s a good question Jaimee, Barnes?”

“Couldn’t find anyone to look after her professor” he mumbled in response, making sure to be loud enough to hear. “No babysitter?”

“Can’t afford it sir”

He didn’t once make eye contact with anyone in the room, instead putting his attention on the books that he was bringing out of his bag. “You alright man?” Tony whispered across the desk and flicked a pen at him, “Oi” Bucky hissed as the metal came in contact with the side of his head making Sam laugh loudly at him.

“Dad,” a mumble was heard quietly, making the older man look at his daughter, eyes that were previously closed were now looking up at his wide with pleading “I’m hungry”

If he was anywhere else in the world he would have sworn loudly, but right now he was in a class with 10 other students and his daughter. “Okay baby, but you're gonna have to wait for a while, we’re in my class but I’ll get you something after okay?”

She nodded and rested her hair back against his chest, making him smile slightly as he went back to taking notes of the class. “I’ve got skittles,” Sam held out the family-sized packet of sugary sweets making Riley do grabby hands towards it. Without asking Sam gave her it, earning a goofy smile from the girl. “Thank you dude but she’s literally gonna get the biggest sugar rush possible now”

“Aha, can’t wait to see that”

-

By halfway through the period Riley was already rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, on the spot next to Bucky’s chair, his hand holding hers to make sure she didn’t run up to the front and distract everyone. “Dad, are you going to work tonight?”

“Yeah munchkin, not for long though, you can stay with Stevie. How about that?”

“Yeah, m’kay”

Suddenly the professor spoke up, directing his attention to Bucky “Barnes, the symbol Sb stands for stibium or stibnite. What is the modern name of this element?”

“That doesn’t sound like English dad” Riley loudly whispered to him, making the class laugh, “and what do you think the answer is?”

The girl pondered for a second and looked at her dad with seriousness drawn upon her features “...tell me,”

-

“Laser in the house!” Clint exclaimed in excitement once everyone had found their way to the front of campus where they’d agreed to meet.

“I like lasers,” Riley gushed while smiling brightly making most of the young adults chuckle, Loki however, did not. “Why did you have to bring me?” The man grumbled, sending a death glare towards his brother.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“Riley no-“

“Did you go through childhood trauma to endure this?”

“Ri’ you can’t ask-“

“Why is there a child?” Loki asked as if he had only just noticed she was there. “She is Barnes’ daughter brother” Thor said and gently patted her head, making her scowl.

“You have a daughter?”

“I’ve had her for 4 years dude”

“Oh”

Steve grabbed his phone from his pocket and glanced at the time “guys we’ve gotta be there in half an hour we better get goin’”

“Alright Rogers, you really do like to keep track of time don’t you?” Tony asked and rolled his eyes making Nat nudge him in the ribs. “Tony, I’m not that old”

“You're 21, everyone else is 20 punk” Bucky teased him but stopped when he sent him a death glare. “Erm, I’m not 20.” The young girl pointed out while everyone else started making their way to the entertainment place. “Smart girl Ri’”

“Wait, do we need to decide the teams?” Bruce asked everyone once Bucky and Riley had caught up with the rest. “Ooooh,” Clint exclaimed with wide eyes “dibs on Natasha! She’s got good aim.”

“I’m gonna stick with you. Power team” Bucky whispered down to the stupidly smiling girl as she nodded furiously. By the time everyone had chosen their teammates and managed to agree, the group had arrived. “This’ll be great” Bruce sighed once they’d caught sight of the room of light-up vests with attached laser guns.

“Rules,” a middle-aged man who looked like he’d given up on life, walked into the room with a clipboard in hand “No Running, No Physical Contact, Hold Laser with Both Hands, No Climbing, Players must be careful when manoeuvring around interior arena walls, Please let us know if any of your guests suffer from the following: Asthma, epilepsy or suffer from seizures caused by fog or strobe lights.”

Everyone was quiet for a second before Steve quietly spoke up with a blush “I have asthma, sir.”

The worker took a pause and pondered for a moment, as though this had never happened in his whole 68 years of working there, “just… don’t start a fire alright?”

They all nodded in agreement, just happy that he’d been let in, and began to enter the massive room where the game was about to take place. “Right, so, let’s not rugby tackle people like you did last time,” Steve said and mostly directed it to Thor who smiled sheepishly “cause- err, there’s a kid, yeah, Riley, that’s it”

Bucky chuckled and picked up the fake laser gun as the lights began to darken, “let’s get this party started”

As soon as the words left his mouth, chaos ensured, young adults setting off running to find a place to set-up camp. As he wanted to be fast, Bucky quickly picked up Riley and began to run towards a pillar so he could hide behind it, so he’s able to get a good view of people.

“How does it work?” Riley whispered from the spot of her back pressed against his chest so she could also see and indicated towards the gun. “Gotta put your finger on the trigger” he instructed and took ahold of her index finger and brought it over to the weapon, placing the rest of her hand on the handle while her other one held the underneath of the top part, trying not to drop it.

The whole room was silent for a good 5 minutes before Bucky decided to make a move, taking hold of the collar of her jacket to gently pull her up with him. Not holding Riley’s hand as she would have ended up dropping the laser gun if she didn’t have two hands on it.

The two of them scouted out the place trying to be quiet so they didn’t get caught. Suddenly, making them jump, a loud zapping sounded in the distance, indicating that someone had found an enemy. He began to run away from the sound, after making sure his daughter was following and attempting to find somewhere to hide again but this time he didn’t find a deserted place.

“Aha!” Nat yelled and jumped out from behind a pillar while aiming the laser at Bucky’s chest. His panicked yelling and screaming filled the air as he made a run for it, completely forgetting about his teammate left behind and the rule “no running”. Suddenly, before he could brace himself his body went flying, his foot getting stuck on a stray shoe that belonged to Thor. At the same time Steve had jumped out, meaning to get the man in the chest, but instead Bucky had landed on him, using him to muffle the landing, earning an “ow man...” in return.

Bucky wanted to move, he really did, but he just couldn’t. He was in a trance, his and Steve’s baby blue eyes made eye contact, without knowing what he was doing, Steve’s body involuntarily leant up: closer to the younger man. His lips never looked more inviting, but all of a sudden a yell broke out in the room.

“Dad! Help! Nat nearly got me!”

The father scrambled up off the floor, his mind going a million miles an hour about what just happened and why it was wrong. He was his best friend. He should only see him as a friend.

Without meaning to, he ran away from him, not bothering to even spare Steve a second glance in search of his daughter, who was now cowered in one of the room's corners, trying not to get shot. Bucky chuckled slightly at the tactic and crossed the room, luckily not being noticed by Tony and Nat who were having a shoot off at each other from their opposite ends in the room.

“Nat nearly got you Ri’?”

“M’ yeah and you weren’t there.”

Guilt coursed through the mans veins as he remembered that he’d left her, but before his mind could go wondering to the events after it, he stopped himself, “sorry munchkin”

“Is’ okay, just don’t do it again dad”

He silently laughed at the sincerity in her voice and grabbed her hand to lead her away from the battle scene so they could get somebody else in the laser tag game. In quiet discussions they settled on Bruce, the one who was most likely to not be paying attention, and if he was it would still be easy to take aim without him seeing.

“Come on Ri, we got this.”

-

@donutloverxo @xolovegrace @rooskaya-yelena @deephideoutmilkshake @kidney9-9 @marvel-ous-hobbit @snarky--starky @rae-is-typing @stargazingfangirl18 @canadianhufflepuffavenger @herecomesthewriterwitch @every-marveler-ever

[sparksflamesembersashes]

Random musings on 10.18 Find Me

Other Carylers have spoken about the episode and their interpretations of it and what it means for Caryl and their future and I've been sharing those and don't have that much to add to what’s already been discussed. Others have written well thought out and detailed analyses and interpretations and said it way better than I ever could. Most of them have been writing about Caryl forever and I started less than a year ago. I do want to speak to some technical stuff and a few other things, since I never do know when to shut up. Spoilers for 10.18 below the cut.

Brief talk on techie stuff... Wow, the cinematography in the plus six are really taking it up a notch. 10.18 has some of the most gorgeous images in the history of the show. The colors, the framing, and Caryl; separated by a stretch of water that's a literal stand-in for the divide between them, in an episode stuffed with signs and symbols and parallels. "Find Me" has some of the most visually breathtaking shots in the history of TWD... and do you know why? Because the plus six were filmed on digital cameras, for the first time in the history of a show that has always been shot on 16 millimeter film. Turns out, the digital process not only has fewer "touch points" (thanks for nothing, COVID) but it's also cheaper, faster, and easier on the environment.

TWD almost switched to digital for Season 2, and while AK claims now that they can still give it that classic TWD look, in a 2019 interview posted on comicbook.com, she said they were committed to shooting on film to preserve it's look and feel (confirming that film and digital are noticeably not created equal, an opinion/truth they are apparently backing off of, now). If the new episodes look different, its because they are. I am torn between which style I prefer. The grainy, Kodak-y type images of TWD as shot on film are increasingly rare on any screen, simultaneously nostalgic and beautiful and born of toxicity. The gallons of chemicals used in developing standard film are not environmentally friendly and probably need to go the way of the dinosaur. 

Digital is wonderful in its own ways, so minute in its details, and can easily capture images and light conditions otherwise incredibly difficult to duplicate on actual film... But digital doesn't look the same, it doesn't feel the same, in the way that CD's and vinyl records don't sound the same. Purists curl their lip at the new and improved version of the medium, but the truth is,most people don't notice the differences.

TWD has always used the sun and the moon to their best visual advantage and both the celestial backdrops show up in "Find Me." The sun filtering through the trees onto Daryl or in his general direction has made repeat appearances in S10. Is this a metaphor for his finally finding his enlightenment? (Or is it nothing deeper than AMC uses the light to make everything look as cool as possible?) 

10.18 shows us more of Daryl's soul (in a single episode) than we've seen before. His character goes through all sorts of colors, screaming in the rainstorm, grimacing as puppy Dog licks his face, meeting and spending time with this strange, lonely, gruff, almost mirror reflection of himself, someone who is grieving and angry and alone. Fighting with Carol! A real fight, but an honest and not altogether unhealthy one. You gotta work through to acceptance and let go of the past before you can look forward to a future, and these two have enough trauma issues between them to fill a psychiatric journal. They’ve a long, arduous road ahead of them, but they WILL reach their destination. Together.

Daryl throwing the fish at Leah's door and Leah throwing the fish at Daryl are my favorite moments in the episode. I laughed out loud. I did not get the impression that they only encountered each other once every several months, I took it that the time jumps measured the progression of their relationship, i.e. that it took that long for them to warm up to each other. When Daryl did go to stay at Leah's, it was literally out of necessity, as he was getting frost bitten in the woods and probably would have lost at least a digit or two had he remained in his camp.

For the first time, I didn't really enjoy the Caryl banter? (Please don't hurt me.) There was a sadness, a tension, and a sense of loss there I just couldn't shake. Carol was trying to run away from the horrors of the Whisperer's aftermath, and Daryl knew it, and he was annoyed by it. Carol's attempts at lightheartedness seemed forced. I feel like Daryl is a man with a whole lot on his mind at this point, and that Carol is a woman who is habitually trying not to think about the real stuff if she can avoid it. She jokes and banters but she's almost too cheerful... or maybe it just seems that way because Daryl's so grim. Not grim as in we're-all-facing-our-end-of-days-doom grim, but not in a laughing mood where Carol's concerned. He thinks she's running again, and seeing Leah's cabin reminds him that Leah probably ran from him, too. He lost both his brothers, Rick and Merle. Daryl has abandonment issues and an overdeveloped sense of responsibility going back as far as we know. He loses people and can't find them again, no matter how much he searches. 

Revisiting Leah's cabin, the devastation of Alexandria, and everything that's been building up over, about, and because of Carol has pressurized within Daryl till he finally takes a shot, and who can blame him? But he also shows his development and maturity by trying to express his disappointment with controlled words of frustration (compared to camp- or barn-rage Daryl in S2), telling Carol exactly what it is she does that's widening the chasm between them. 

Carol to Daryl early in the episode "I don't want to lose you because you can't figure out when to stop," and Daryl to Carol "That's on you. 'Cause you don't know when to stop.") Daryl doesn't know when to stop searching for his lost brother and blaming himself for things, Carol didn't know when to stop her revenge-fueled pursuit of Alpha. Daryl also tells Carol "That's all that matters. You being right." (after she says she was right to go after and destroy Alpha to avenge her son.) At the end of the ep., Carol says it again: "I was right" (this time about their luck having run out), then she goes to fix the door. 

So now Caryl know and have established what gets each other's goat. That could be a good thing, but tptb will undoubtedly attempt to convince us its a bad thing,, ya think? Neither of the characters knowing when to stop and their mutual annoyance over the fact could be something the show runners milk for a while.

Î wanted to know whether Daryl went back to the cabin after leaving his note, to see whether Leah had returned to it, or not. I want to know what Carol did with the note. Did she take it with her, or did she put it back? They never showed us. Daryl seemed anxious and tense about her finding it, and I did not miss the symbolism of Carol being the woman who eventually finds the note Daryl left behind years ago: "I belong with you. Find me." I mean, how perfect is that? 

Contrary to spoilery bullshit stinking up the Twittersphere, Carol did not seem exactly “upset” at finding the note, though clearly she was sad. She knew exactly what the note was, so Daryl must’ve told her about it, that he left it. Maybe he didn't tell her exactly what it said or everything about Leah, but my impression was that she realized what it was and where they were, and it was all yesterday's news to her. Seeing the note seemed to make her sad for Daryl because she knows Daryl can't handle losing people, and that he punishes himself for failing to help or save people by pushing everybody away and isolating. 

Leah didn't so much choose to be there in the cabin as she ran for her life from a dangerous situation and the cabin was just the place where she and her bitten son ended up.

So many yawning gaps in the Leah storyline. How often did they see each other? Did Daryl move in with her toward the end of their relationship? I felt like he did after the time she found him freezing in the woods, but that he'd leave for days to go look for Rick, or hunt, or who tf knows. Maybe he'd leave to see or meet Carol. Carol knew about Leah, but when? Before, or after it was happening? Why is that important? I just want to know when he told her.  Really hoping they didn’t leave things purposely vague so they can fill in the gaps to screw with us later. 

Timing is everything. Like, how much time passed between Leah telling Daryl to choose, and the time Carol told Daryl she couldn't keep visiting? Or did he leave Leah's cabin and return to it that same day? Which would imply Leah abandoned Daryl practically the instant he walked out the door following her ultimatum. It seems like Daryl was gone a while, it was dark when Leah told him to choose, and daylight in the scene with Carol at his camp and when he was walking in the woods. It could have been days. That makes a difference. Leah was obviously not Daryl's first choice, no matter that he ran back to her in the end.

The fact that Carol knew about Daryl's relationship with Leah is a crafty move on the show runner's part because we can't really be pissed at Daryl if Carol knew about it the whole time and was cool with it.... but we all know now that Daryl didn't tell her everything. 

No one is talking about how Leah obviously abandoned Dog, she left him shut in the damn cabin for who knows how long after she left. And she DID leave. The cabin looked abandoned when Daryl left the note. He obviously went searching for her with Dog, but for how long? 

Not to say there was nothing between them, but I never felt for an instant that Leah had Daryl's heart, or that he ever offered it up to her in the first place, but I am also 100% sure that’s because I’m ride-or-die for Caryl and can’t bear to entertain the thought. No matter what else they were, Daryl and Leah are isolated, damaged, traumatized people who wanted someone to hold on to. Someone to try and forget with. It's not like there were a lot of other people around to choose from.

So did Leah just leave Dog behind because the memories associated with him were too painful? (i.e. he was born on the day Leah's son died) Or did she feel that Daryl needed the companionship and gambled that Daryl would drop by soon and take him in? It really bothers me that she just split and left the dog locked in the cabin like that. 

Grateful they didn't show us anything extra of Daryl seeming to genuinely give a shit, tbh. (Throwing a fish at someone's door, having sex with them, sleeping in their bed or eating their cooking doesn't necessarily constitute giving a shit in this world, just saying.) That was both refreshing (cuz u know, Caryl is endgame), and kind of tragic. I felt like Daryl was rather emotionally detached the entire time, but that Leah was maybe falling in love with him. Not in a good way, but in a possessive, demanding, all-or-nothing type of way. 

How very very clever of AMC to leave us with all these ambiguities. So much room for interpretation, so many gaps to never be filled in. Bastards. On the bright side, all these holes in the story and missing material provide endless new opportunities for fanfic writers like me who can't break free of the bonds of canon. So, yay, I guess?

I am sad to give up the virgin Daryl trope, I was beginning to think that one was ours in canon to keep, but you know, it is what it is. It was a good, long run while it lasted, and I'm grateful we got to write inexperienced Daryl fics while we could still entertain the fantasy that Daryl was actually inexperienced. So, R.I.P. virgin Daryl. I'm not as upset about his getting laid as I thought I'd be (although it was incredibly underhanded, AMC, to pull this shit so very late in the game, there better be a good reason for it). 

All the Leah thing means to me right now is that our man has probably picked up some skills during his time with her, and Carol's gonna be the ultimate beneficiary. Plus, Daryl's evolved over the years from throwing a fish at a woman's door to delivering her dinner on a tray with a flower, so...progress was made, even if he didn't start out with the woman we wish he had. (News Flash: The love of his life was unavailable and actually married to another man at the time, so there's that.) 

There are a staggering number of Caryllels in this episode. Someone once said here that Kang loves her symbolism and they weren't wrong. No matter what's to come, we can be confident about where this road ends. At this point in TWD, to not eventually give us Caryl canon would be the absolute greatest trolling of a fandom in the history of trolling fandoms, and besides, we're getting a spin-off.

Another thing, the fact that Rick and Leah both basically disappeared on him shines a bright light on Daryl's determination to stick to Carol like glue in 10A and B. He was terrified that she was going to disappear on him, too.

What happened to the Caryl fandom following the spoilers wasn't worth it. How many times have we freaked out over spoilers? You think we'd learn. And you KNOW we are valued because AMC went so very far out of their way to provide the vaguest-ever depiction of a sexual encounter for Daryl. Remember the Eugene spying scene with Abe and Rosita, guys? Shane and Lori screwing on the ground in the woods? They could really have tortured us, and they chose to be kind.

I'm looking forward to "Diverged." Honestly, I could give a shit about most of the other characters, but they'll have to make do for us over the next couple of weeks. Just about the time 10.18's been dissected and interpreted to death, Caryl will reappear on our screens and mess with our hearts and minds some more. I can't wait.

Thank you for coming to my rant, and Caryl on! 

[tuttifuckinfruttifriday]

Final part of The Letter >:D this was so much fun @randomly-a-fan ! Luv u❤️ so sorry it took so long!

Recap here !

The Reckoning

Pairing: Jason Voorheese x MJ, Jason Voorheese and MJ x Malon, side of Freddy Krueger x Malon, Archie x Malon,>:)) ?? x MJ and Jason

Warnings: Censored curse words, violence, gore/wounds , angst, small fluff, ?? being sweet, horror

This one might not be that good D: but I tried

Don’t hesitate to tell me the mistakes I made, since it’s long af<3

There’s a lot of time skip(—) but my ideas were mixed and I forgot some things and I’m lazy-

Songs I used:

Archie blinked slowly as he tried to find where he was, having no ideas and seeing as it doesn’t look like anybody’s here. Small parts of his memory were coming back to him very slowly, so he hoped to remember all soon....

And mostly hoped that Jason would do something about it. His father didn’t know about all that Freddy thing, nor his mother... so he couldn’t really except them to help. With a sigh, he walked around and tried to familiarize himself with the boiler room...

*

MJ was woken up with a gasp, sighing as she realized it was the same nightmare she had yesterday. A loud alarm was blaring from under the door and flashing red lights seeped through the cracks. “What’s going on?!” Panic took place as MJ’s eyes widened, her small frame shaking. There were screams outside, and she didn’t want to know who where their owners. Everything seemed like chaos, to her horrified satisfaction, there was even a coopery smell in the air, which told her that the people behind the door wouldn’t open it soon. A scream passed her lips as she realized she was wrong and there was a sudden banging on the metal, her hands clutching the white covers on the cheap bed. She panicked even more when the door started to open, ready to run outside when they’ll open it— Only to stare at the man before her. “W-what.....???” She was shocked and a little confused, his height difference being obvious. She saw the killer in the papers, but she never thought she would see him in real life... or even live long enough to take in his features. The silent killer only looked at her, his fist, face and white clothes bloodied, as he started walking. Was he sparing her?? Not wanting to be left alone and wanting to show him that she was grateful, she caught up to him. “Th-thank you...” The tall man didn’t show in any way that he heard her, but she was just happy he didn’t kill her. What she didn’t know tho is that he already knew her, but that’s a story for another time if any of you read the previous stories—

She walked alongside him, her shoulder brushing his big arm by moments. He didn’t seem to mind, but she was starting to feel anxious as they passed bloodied and destroyed corpses on the ground. When she wasn’t looking up at him, the killer’s blue eyes took her small frame in, no emotions on his face. The truth is, when he saw that she and Jason were taken, he waited in the open to get taken in. Even if it took some time for the smaller officers to get close to him, his plan worked, like always.

MJ’s eyes widened when she saw the figure of her undead husband approaching, a big smile on her face as she ran from the side of the long haired killer who saved her and embraced him, the latter doing the same and he smeared blood on her white clothes, but she didn’t care at the moment. The Shape looked at the reunion, a small sparkle of emotions blooming in his eyes for a really small second before it disappeared.

*

Some time later, in the dream realm, Freddy was looking at the newspaper, a growl escaping his throat as he read the titles. “Crystal Lake massacre escapes mental asylum!” “The Shape of Hadonfield taken in and escaping!” In his rage, the dream demon threw a mug that was on the table, scaring half to death the two kids in the corner. “That bxtch....” Rage engulfed him. How tf did Michael get into this?! Freddy grumbled.

The purple-haired clown was hiding the small redhead behind him, seeing that she was really scared. Malon started to feel sick as the heat seamed to increase, her small body not being able to bear it. When Archie felt her sliding down the wall, her feet coming to rest against his, he turned around and saw her breathing in big gasp, sweat literally dripping from her face and neck and he started to panic even more.

*

Having gotten out, the trio (Jason, MJ and Michael) walked into the parking, The Shape immediately going to a car and opening it with random keys the husband and wife didn’t notice. Suddenly, MJ doubled-over and gasped in pain as she felt really hot, her breaths coming in small gasps as she hyperventilated. Her husband immediately rushed towards her, getting down on his knees as he tried to understand what’s wrong, the click of the car’s locks audible behind him. But they didn’t have time for that, so he opened the door and before he could do anything, Michael took MJ and put her in the back before taking Jason by the arm and putting him in the driver side. He knew a little how to drive since he had to move some victim’s car, but he couldn’t for now because of his shock with being thrown in the seat and MJ moaning in pain at the back. Before he could do anything else, Michael closed the door and looked in the direction of where they came from, still with no emotions showing on his face, only a killer glare. If glares could kill, the nurses and police officers would be dead right now. His feet slammed on the pedal when shots rang, 2 bullets piercing the back window.

—

After being far enough from the hospital, Jason got into the back seat with MJ, who was feeling a little better now. “I-I’m okay now, baby...” “Thank you... And I-I’m so so sorry, it wasn’t me who sent the location—“ With wide eyes, he stopped her by putting his mask up and placing his cold lips softly on hers, one hand behind her head. Speechless and with a smile, MJ kissed him back. They cuddled and hugged for some time, and without realizing it, Jason fell asleep beside her. When she decided that she wanted to tell him about Malon’s situation, she realized he was sleeping... so she cuddled some more with a frown, knowing she wouldn’t be able to wake him up.

—

He was in a room he knew too well, having been here when he fought The Nightmare, Freddy Krueger. He couldn’t stop himself from letting out a shaky breath, his heart going a little faster as he remembered that day. “Well hello there, Big Guy.... Care to join the party?~” Jason turned around in a second as he saw the burnt guy before him, his rotten teeth into a wicked smile. Confused, he frowned and prepared his machete beside him, even if he knew it wouldn’t do anything to him. Party?? What party?? Eyes glancing down, he regretted it. Scratch marks and hair were all over the ground, even what looked like meat which he knew it wasn’t.

His eyes widened when he saw Malon’s body behind him, her red hair hiding her bloodied face and her body on the hot ground—

“Too late.”

—-

A breathless gasp escaped his unmasked face as he sat up, realizing that he was moving. MJ, who was driving, smiled sadly when she saw her husband awake. “Good, you’re awake.” She then stopped the car, turning the keys as Jason took his surroundings in. They were back at their house, the camp. A smile smile appeared on his face until he remembered what he saw in his dream and decided to tell his wife, the latter gasping in shock. “That... that’s probably the man that took her—“ A big hand was put in her shoulder as she started to hyperventilate again. She buzzed against it, the hand cupping her cheek as it’s owner made her look into his eyes, brown eyes blinking as he looked at his wife with a calm face. He knew what he had to do, he would do the same thing he did when Malon was taken the first time... He took his wife inside, her still shaking body wrapped tightly in his arms. Before starting with the plan, they changed their clothes and Jason carefully pushed MJ to get on the bed, taking his notepad and writing on it as she frowned. “She is in the dream realm, we’ll take her back.” “You.. You’re sure Jay..?” He gave a nod in response. So with a sigh, she leaned back and tried to sleep, Jason getting behind her carefully as he set the watch on his wrist, the last time he took it coming back to his mind. He put the minuter to 35 minutes and got down. Their bodies tangled together as they relaxed, their minds going blank as they fell into their nightmare.

Boiling hot steam streamed out of the groaning pipes above them as they got up, MJ taking Jason’s hand as her eyes darted back and forth. The father was determined to find his daughter, again, even if it took his own life this time. He didn’t knew why Freddy did this, why he tried to take all the good things he had, but what he was sure of is that he would make sure to take him back to the real world and make him pay. He knew that Malon wasn’t really dead, he felt it. He only wanted to provoque him, like that last time. His thoughts were cut short when he heard a boyish scream, followed by a high pitched one. He immediately ran toward the noise, MJ running after him with wide eyes, only to trip on a chain that came out of nowhere. “Jay—“ The metal wrapped tighter around her, making her whimper and silencing her. Jason’s steps immediately stopped as he turned toward his lover, his machete at the ready. Not even taking the time to think, he swung the weapon with so much force that the chain creaked and almost broke, finally breaking when he gave another. He caught her body, slowly placing it ont he ground before kissing her head and running toward the noise again, leaving his lover all wrapped up in the rusty metal. Ignoring her calls, he knew she would be safer there. A quick glance at his watch, his breathing hitched in his throat when he saw he had only 20 minutes.

When Jason finally found the source, after 10 minutes of running around in circle, he had to hold back another gasp. Before him were Archie and Malon, the two of them covered in bruises. He didn’t know what was more shocking, Malon sweating and looking sickly pale on the ground, or Archie standing before her protectively, a claw mark on his face and two on his arm. The scratches weren’t deep, but it still looked like it really hurt. They looked like they’d been through hell, small burns covering their bodies.

He couldn’t hold himself back, jumping and tackling Freddy who only now realized his presence. They fought on the ground for some time, Malon crying and whimpering in the background as Archie tried to calm her and watched silently. Each time the dream demon tried to wrapped something around him or disappear, he would always find him at the end. Jason gave all he could, almost getting transpierced by his own weapon. 3 mins. He made sure Malon and her friend were alright before he kicked the brunt man two or three times, making him bark out a laugh. He then rolled to the side as Freddy’s glove was about to slash, taking down the kids with him as the watch finally beeped—

He rolled down the bed as he woke up, the children groaning as they came in contact with the hard floor. MJ was still sleeping, so he made sure to carry her somewhere safer before The Nightmare appeared and slashed at his back, making his daughter scream as she fell and MJ waking up. The two female screamed and cried as they hugged each other, the older one taking the small boy and pulling him back as he tried to get into the fight.

Freddy got thrown through the window as Jason jumped too, Malon following closely behind without him noticing. She was scared for her father and knew that she could never beat a grown man, but her curiosity got the best of her. They got to the lake, Jason forgetting his fears as he continued to slash his weapon, smirking under his mask when he sees Freddy leaning down and panting. They fell to the ground, and as he raised his machete and was going to kill him, the man under said something that made him stop.

“Come on, momma’s boy. Slash me infront of your daughter.~” he dared to look behind him as he caught his daughter small frame behind him, her eyes wide open. The demon had the smuggest look on his face, which didn’t help Jason’s decision as he put his arms on top of his head as he brought down the weapon with his two hands, hearing the sickening sound of the blade transpiercing his flesh.

[fizzingwizard]

Another Sunday, another episode of Digimon Adventure: (how tf do I do punctuate??). It is a good time to be a fan of Yagami Taichi.

I remember being 11 years old, the last episode of Digimon Adventure made be bawl my eyes out, and although I was excited for 02, really I just wanted more of Adventure. I guess I’m just slow to like new things (well, I am), but I would have super happy if the producers had been like, “02 will be a reboot for Adventure with the same characters and similar storyline.” And then do the same thing for every new Digimon season xD I’m sure I’m pretty damn alone in that opinion and don’t get me wrong, I love 02, and I think Tamers was good. And yet xD

^The screenshot that sums up the episode: Greymon gets his butt kicked while Taichi hangs on for dear life

I know the bond between children and Digimon is what powers them, and I’m kind of wondering if having a physical connection improves that in this show, because these kids are always riding around on their partners. (Not able exception - Togemon, because ouch. But I expect to see Mimi on her boxing glove at least lol) I have to rationalize it that way because otherwise it’s like why would having an elementary school kid on your head while you rush into the line of fire count as a battle strategy

This ep picks up pretty much where we left off, which means it’s probably only been hours since Yamato joined the group at the fortress. Already the atmosphere is completely changed.

I can see them, but they can’t see me... Ishida Yamato’s modus operandi

more below

Here is a very Digimon-esque tableau: everyone gathered around Koushirou and his computer. Yamato still being standoffish. I imagine he jumped at the chance to stand guard at the entrance so he doesn’t have to get too close to anyone.

Agumon’s fight with MetalTyrannomon went... not so great. Yamato coolly tries to explain to Taichi that evacuating was the only way, otherwise they’d risk all being destroyed, and that would be the end of everything.

Taichi’s fist tightens and begins to shake...

... he doesn’t look like he totally agrees with Yamato’s reasoning, but he doesn’t have a better idea. But, being Taichi, he can’t just let it rest.

Yamato talking to Taichi’s back while Taichi frantically starts to sort out his Feelings is just how they communicate. This is a common shonen anime trope for the hero and his foil. Yamato’s pushing, Taichi’s not exactly hiding, but he doesn’t want to face him until he can face him with resolve.

Yamato: Look at me. Look at me!

Taichi: *sweating* It feels like a hole’s burning in the back of my neck, so... I’ll pass

Taichi finally explains out what’s got him so knotted up: he regrets Ogremon’s death. Like we saw last episode, the battle that began as revenge turned into a battle of samurai pride. And Taichi is evidently a samurai. He wanted to see that battle to the finish, out of mutual respect for the opponent (who he’d never met before and who had been trying to kill him previously... but y’know when you’re kindred spirits that’s all water under the bridge)

Yamato doesn’t really get it. This is where these two are fundamentally different. Taichi attac, Yamato protec, then everybody gets a FIGHT!

I mean, not 100% of the time, but the bottom line is Yamato’s not so big on this pride thing, although he does have pride of his own. But he’s definitely not into taking unnecessary risks, especially if it puts his friends in danger. The trouble is, Taichi doesn’t think he takes unneccessary risks either... just necessary ones ;)

The other kids can already feel the tension increasing and Taichi and Yamato haven’t even raised their voices at each other yet. Lol buckle up kiddos

Jou wonders if he should make them stop, and Mimi instantly turns around and begs him to try. My Joumi heart LEAPT.

TBH I was surprised she did anything at all, I was expecting Jou’s “Should I break them up?” to just end there with nothing happening. Instead we got an adorable Joumi moment where Mimi shows that as much as she teases him, she already somewhat relies on Jou (to be fair, I do think Mimi’s the type to rely on anyone who offers when she’s not sure what to do herself). Jou, being Jou, is unprepared aaaaand wigs out.

Jou: Oh no oh no oh no she actually expects me to get between them?!?! But but I flunked Tough Guy school! That’s literally why I’m a nerd! This girl’s trying to throw me to the wolves!

Fortunately for Jou, he has a redheaded savior.

Sora: Stop it. He’ll wet his pants again and I don’t have any more extras.

Sora shows her insight into people’s hearts and understands that Taichi and Yamato need to hash things out. It’s not dangerous... yet. But the way she’s more or less frozen in place along with the others says she’s... maybe a bit on her guard, at least, lol.

Koushirou, being Kousihrou, is completely oblivious to all of this and focused on his computer.

Oh yeah... the real reason Taichi turned his back to Yamato earlier - whenever they look directly at each other, they suck each others souls out. I CALL BODY SWITCH

I mean jogress

I mean marriage

They spend like the entire first half of the episode arguing omg get a room.

Then... Agumon wakes up!

And even though it’s a cartoon, it’s clear to see the way Taichi’s body fills with relief. I wonder if Yamato didn’t realize or didn’t think Taichi was that worried about Agumon. 99 Yamato tended to feel that Taichi was insensitive to others. But while he can be, Taichi also doesn’t express his emotions in the same way as Yamato. They’re both wont to hide how they feel, but while Yamato goes quiet and aloof, Taichi just acts like everything’s normal. So maybe here, Yamato really thought Ogremon and MetalTyrannomon were the only things on Taichi’s mind. Just a guess.

Awwww montage of cute...

a boy and his dinosaur!!

Maybe to Yamato’s surprise, Agumon totally echoes Taichi’s feelings about Ogremon. “I wanted to settle the score with him.” Weird as it sounds, they made a manly bond with Ogremon and running away just doesn’t sit right. Agumon’s raring to go...

... but his stomach isn’t quite ready yet hahaha.

Yamato’s probably used to Gabumon’s appetie but I suspect Agumon’s tummy growl has errr exceptional resonance

Glad to see the return of the Digimon’s bottomless pit aka stomach. I think it was just last week I complained about that not really being a thing so far. This time it was the other Digimon who went gathering, but I hope to see the human kids rushing around in a frenzy to care for their partners’ appetites soon lol

While the others eat, Taichi and Yamato decide they haven’t finished vampiring each other’s souls and sneak out to the mouth of the cave. Sora follows them to see if she can watch any hot yaoi action.

Lol but I do really like the framing heart. All we can see of the boys is their shadows. Sora keeps her distance but she’s watching them intently from a distance. I assumed she was just gathering more data on how short a leash she needs to keep them on.

Turned out that was not quite correct... reluctant to interrupt though she’d been before, once they start talking about what to do next she adds her input. We’ve got Yamato on Taichi’s one side and Sora on his other side. It’s the beginnings of TAIORATOOOOO *more airhorns*

^I can’t see anything but Goku and Vegeta bahahaha. Also why is eleven-year-old Yamato SO broad-shouldered, between that, his deeper voice, and his perfeclty coifed hair Taichi must seem like a toddling infant to him bahahaha. Like come on Yamato is not a child you must be kidding

Already Yamato is getting into the habit of Looking At Taichi while Taichi Looks At Literally Anything Else.

These two don’t need words. They talk with their vampiric eyes.

Koushirou’s hyper focus on his computer finally pays off and they all gather back around. Everyone starts cheering when the hologram appears even though they don’t know what the heck it is. This is Koushirou, so it must be awesome!

It turns out to be a map of much usefulness.

And it turns out Ogremon was telling the truth about the path to the holy Digimon being straight ahead, while fires Taichi up even more.

^Obligatory ‘Gomamon is cutest Digimon’ cap

Koushirou also gives Taichi special data on MetalTyrannomon, including his weak point. Taichi is THRILLED. He’s happier about this than he is about finding the route to the holy Digimon. This is the difference between Taishiro and Taito guys. When Taichi gets a reckless idea, Yamato tries to talk him down, or at least be sensible about it. Koushirou? Koushirou is a FREAKING ENABLER.

They wait with baited breath for Yamato’s reaction. Though he seems underwhelmed, Yamato admits Koushirou’s information “does seem reliable.” That’s all the permission Taichi needs to go back to freaking out over how awesome Koushirou is.

They come up with a plan to lure MetalTyrannomon away so Taichi can fight him while the others take the chance to escape and head towards the path to the holy Digimon.

^Obligatory ‘Sora is best girl’ cap

Yamato waits for the others to get away before following after... he stalls for a minute as if unsure whether it’s really alright to leave Taichi on his own. In the end he joins the group... All things considered, I think he’s pretty thrown off by Taichi, tbh.

Yamato’s group doesn’t make it far before they encounter a very suspicious looking lake.

^More evidence that Yamato is not really an elementar school kids. He’s clearly at least 15. He’s been routinely failing every year in order to get held back until he can be in the same class as Takeru. That’s the extent of his overprotectiveness

It sure is fortunate that Koushirou’s genius extends to fluency in English or they’d have no idea this lake of dark mist is bad friggin news.

Or... maybe they would have:

Mimi sneaks behind Jou and pulls his middle school exam workbook out of his bag.

And immediately chucks it into the lake.

Where it disintegrates.

This is how Mimi’s mind works. She’s smart! They need to know what would happen if they went into the lake without actually going in it. So they need to put something else in first. So far so good. What should she throw? A stick? A rock? One of Sora’s endless towels?

No, Jou’s workbook. Duhhh.

She probably felt she was killing two birds with one stone here x’D Experiment complete, and Jou prevented from anymore whining about not having time to study. Mimi is chaotic good.

gosh I love Joumi

Jou is lawful neurotic

Greymon shielding Taichi is just soooo cute even if it still feels weird that he has to be up there in the first place

The battle rages between MetalTyrannomon and Greymon, who just won’t quit even though he’s losing... pretty bad... I mean...

He just grabbed a missile with his bare hand...

Taichi: Now I know what it’s like to be a firework

Loop-de-loop! Taichi’s suction cup shoes strike again.

Courage going UP!! Reaching a fever pitch! The evolution that’s been looming for two episodes finally happens!

MetalTyrannomon: Eat my dust!

Woooooooo, MetalGreymon is just as freaky as ever. Always my least favorite evolution in Agumon’s line, but the glowy purple wings are cool.

Also, nipple missiles.

MetalTyrannomon: I can’t believe I was beaten by some meddling kids!

So yeah, we are back to killing Digimon willy-nilly. None of this “but what about their hearts?” shitck. Always found it amazing in 02, a children’s cartoon, that said “Yeah the characters you loved last season were totes murderers but it was justified and sometimes you just have to kill.” And fourteen-year-old Taichi is just like, “Yeah, I’m a murderer, and you should be too.” XD And Miyako hits LadyDevimon with a skateboard. Priceless

This scene is adorable but Taichi’s butt looks so saggy.

I’m kind of wondering how evolution works in this show. They jumped right to jogress in like episode two or something, but we haven’t seen it since (I would sort of expected Taichi to think of it when it was clear MetalTyrannomon was too strong, though I would also expect Yamato to nix that idea both because he doesn’t want to and because to him it’s a pointless fight and not the priority). Since then, the Champion level evolutions went similar to 99 Adventure, with everyone getting their special episode, and I’m sure that’s how it’ll go down with the next level too, but there was no gap at all between going from one level to the next. I’m trying to say, they seem able to reach the next level awfully fast. They didn’t need to meet Gennai and collect the tags and Crests, the Crests appear already uploaded in their Digivices. I’m not complaining, as always I’m glad this show is not just a carbon copy of the old one, but I am curious if evolutions are easier to attain in this series, or if there are going to be more of them and that’s why they come so quick, or if the series just won’t run long enough for there to be significant gaps of time between evolutions.

Episode ends with the group deciding, like I predicted last week, to split up and try the Left and Right routes, since the Straight one is blocked. Gays go right and lesbians go left, of course. :P

This episode was pretty fantabulous, I loved it, Digimon is awesome.

Next week it’s no surprise what we’re gonna get.

WeeeeereGarurumon! Also my least favorite evolution of Gabumon’s line but still cooler than MetalGreymon hahahaha.

I’m also totally stoked for the grouping of Yamato, Jou, and Sora. There’s tons of potential for Yamato and Sora to bond, although my prediction is that while he’ll pretty much like her (even if he won’t admit it to himself), she’s going to find him a little difficult. But she’ll have an easier time talking to him than the others do. I also fully expect Jou to drive Yamato out of his mind lol.

This also means the other group is Taichi, Koushirou, and Mimi. I assume we won’t see too much of them next week, but I hope that means they’ll get their episode the week after, because I am dying for some Taishiro moments. Practically salivating. Also, Koumi fans can probably look forward to Mimi and Koushirou Not Getting each other too, lol

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)