#so whenever he and mizuki started getting along he Knew

[the-overanalyst]

can we talk about how rui is the most girl's guy ever. he's so ride or die for nene that he wanted to leave wxs because tsukasa upset her. he's one of few who understands emu's language and he always tries to turn her outlandish ideas into reality. and with mizuki, where do i even begin. we all know how much they mean to each other. even smaller interactions in mixed events, like with shizuku, mafuyu, or an, tend to reveal a sweet and thoughtful side to him. rui kamishiro, everyone, the best guy friend any girl could ask for

[nomenomens]

Nomen

Chapter XXIX - Senza Fiato

TW : hints at sex (nothing explicit), you can check for other warnings in the 'About Nomen' section

WC : around 3100 words

Previous Chapter : Sorrow II (Heart's Version)

Next Chapter : They Don't Know You Like I Do

Masterlist

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June 2, Thursady, 01:47 (present time) 

“Seb?”

“Yes?”

“I think we should stop.”

“Right now?”

He looked at me, rising his head from between my legs. It was going to be difficult to let this kind of pleasure go, but every time we had sex lately, made me feel even emptier than before. If it wasn’t going to satisfy me mentally, because physical satisfaction was never off the table with him, then what was the point? Seemed like I just couldn’t keep an only physical relationship. I wanted more, and I knew he wasn’t the one who could give me what I wanted. 

“Starting tomorrow.”

“May I ask why so suddenly?”

“Because I have to study for the exams this month, and you know I use night hours to study, which means I’ll be exhausted and with very little time during the day. Also I’m always too tense and anxious during exam period.”

“Didn’t sex help you to relieve your stress?”

“I know, but if I am too out of it, my body doesn’t help me enjoying the sex, so I wish to try this way.”

“As you wish, my Lady…may I resume?”

“You may.”

He resumed his kisses along my thighs as I rolled the sheets into my fist. I hadn’t told him the real reasons why I wanted to stop, but I couldn't let anyone know about my green feelings for the Captain. I wanted to suppress them, stomp all over the stupid butterflies who gathered up inside the pit of my stomach every time I looked or thought of him. At first I hoped that continuing to use Sebastian would help, but lately I realized how vain this hope was. Even now, as Sebastian was the one giving me pleasure, I wished to see someone else in his stead. I clearly knew who that someone was, but I also clearly knew I wouldn't even dared to think his name out loud in the safe net of my mind, scared to become aware of how far my heart has already wondered on its own. I tried to block every fantasies about how he would treat me, every question about what he would say or do in a calmer and different reality, every attempt to idealize how he would feel about me, but nonetheless, whenever Sebastian and I had sex, every barrier I raised on myself would crumble down as sand. Captain Levi Ackerman was all I could think about and so, my solution was to give up the only activity that once used to made me feel in control. Sleeping with Sebastian used to erase every thought, but lately all it happened was to increase them, focusing on the wrong person. I couldn't let this happen any longer.

*******************************************************

I resumed my kisses along her thighs, the more I got closer to her hips, the more my mind was trying to make sense of her actions. My duty was to obey, because she had to believe our contract was solid, so I couldn’t question her more than I tried to do. Was it because of the Captain? It was evident she liked him but then, since they had barely spoke, why stop our agreement? Some foolish thing, like her heart, couldn’t bare the thought of sleeping with someone she hadn’t feelings for? Then she shouldn’t have started this relationship in the first place. I couldn’t understand human hearts and minds when feelings were involved and even if I thought I knew everything there was to know about her, I was still surprised easily by her actions. In any case, I sensed something else had happened with the Captain, but when? Was it before I got back from Germany? And more importantly, what? Why was she hiding something from me? Too many questions for my own liking. I had to get answers. 

*******************************************************

June 6, Monday, 11:08 (present time) 

“Na-na-mi-chaaaan!”

Hearing Mizuki’s happy tone while calling me was one of the sound I cherished the most and feared the most at the same time. It was more often than not a prelude to something ominous and I sensed that even this time, whatever he needed to tell me wouldn’t be pleasurable. I turned my head towards my room’s door, where he was standing, with a big smile on his face. Even his expression didn’t reassure me.

“What is it?”

“If you have a moment, you have a visitor. Well, a guest.”

“I’m trying to study, can’t it wait?”

“I guess, he didn’t say it was urgent.”

Mizuki was about to go back but then I realized I hadn’t asked the most important question.

“Mizuki! Wait! Who is he?”

“Albert. Or Jin Zixuan, I don’t know what do you want me to call him.”

Did he perhaps had news about my brothers? But then he would’ve demanded to see me immediately. Did he thought I would’ve seen him right away in any case? Well, since he was back from Germany, he surely had to have some new informations. In any case, this was an easy win for him, even if the only reason why I was agreeing to see him right away was related to my brothers. 

“Call him Albert, it’s easier for me. And let him in.”

“In your room?”

“He’s been here before.”

His face dropped every ounce of happiness at once. His expression betrayed anger mixed with apprehension and I felt the need to explain, since Mizuki wasn’t here when Albert came into my life.

“He was my betrothed and we became friends, but we didn’t really love each other and then we fought and parted. Anyway, that’s in the past and there are no lingering feelings or unresolved ones, so he won’t even try to do anything to me, if you’re worrying about that.”

“Nanami-chan, I know my place.”

His resigned expression wounded me even more than his words. I got up from my chair and walked towards him, wondering if what I was doing was worse than just dismiss him. With my every action I was bound to hurt him, and that fact alone was one of the reasons I had thought about letting him go again. Unfortunately for him, I was selfish enough to keep him by my side, a side of me that Sebastian knew well as he was the only one to appreciate it. I grabbed both of Mizuki’s hands in mine and met his gaze. 

“Mizuki, your place is here, beside me. I know some of my words and actions hurt you, but I won’t give you up unless you will decide to go away. I need you with me. But…but if you can’t bear to stay and witness my decisions, both past and future ones, then-"

He laid his head against my shoulder and I heard him inhaling and exhaling deeply before hugging me. He started to talk, tickling my ear with his whispers. 

“I went away once, because you wanted me to, and I regretted it. I’d rather suffer a thousand deaths than leaving you before the time comes.”

“I don’t want you to suffer at all.”

I grabbed his head with both hand, placing it in front of me and looking deeply into his jade eyes, now veiled by sadness, an emotion I wished to never see on his face. I wanted to say something, but what to say? I couldn’t love him and I couldn’t let him go for good. I was the cause of his own pain but I never wanted him to suffer so much. My mouth was open, but no sound was coming from it. In that moment he broke my spiral of thoughts poking my nose and starting to laugh, leaving me flabbergasted.

“Nanami-chan, I don’t know what you were going to tell me, but I’ll never leave your side, no matter what, and I know you love me. Not as I wished you would, but you care about me more than anyone has ever did. We’ll learn to be the best of friends for each other. Now, should I let your guest in?”

I hugged him tightly before letting him go. We started fixing each other’s hair as a reflex as soon as we parted and bursted into laugh again at our coordinated gestures. Then he went back to get Albert and as I looked at his figure walking away, my mind projected a question I had already made to myself years ago: why couldn’t I fall for him?

*******************************************************

Spring, seven years ago 

“You shouldn’t like me!”

“I know!”

Tomoe’s lavender eyes widened up at my sudden loud tone. I was exhausted. It had been months since I had realized my feelings for him and confessed and never once he had looked at me differently. For a while he had even avoided to touch me and it was torture. As a result, I was now snapping at him for stupid little things and as he tried to clear the air, my blood heated up so much during the arguments that I was practically screaming on the external emergency stairs of my high school. We stared at each other for a while, then I checked the time on my watch. I had very little time before I had to come back to class.

“Look, there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve tried. I forced myself to think of something else, about someone else, but you’re the one I like. You know how I feel. I’ve even tried to look at Mizuki differently because he cares for me and maybe he deserved a chance but… simply put, he’s not you. You have no idea how many times I had asked myself why couldn’t I fell for him, but nothing ever changed. You’ll never feel the same, I got that, but please, please, don’t push me away. You…you’re…y-you’re…”

As I started to cry, I took a step back, hitting the iron handrail behind me but before I could lose my balance, Tomoe brought me back to the center of the landing where we were fighting. It was the first time he touched me in weeks and I desperately grabbed his shirt, sticking to his chest were I reverberated all of my tears. He stood still for a moment before patting my head in a reassuring way. 

“Nanami, I’m s-"

“Don’t say it.”

I pushed myself back and looked at him in the eyes, trying to muster up the courage to speak again without stuttering. 

“Don’t say you’re sorry, I don’t need this. I am the one who’s sorry for burdening you with my feelings. But I like you and I want to like you even if you don’t feel the same. I only ask you to let me stay by your side. I don’t care if it’ll hurt, I’ll handle it, or at least I’ll try. I beg you, don’t leave me and don’t avoid me. Act as you did before.” 

I waited for an answer, whatever the content may be, but he just looked at me in silence. I finally turned and as I held the handle of the door to go back into the school’s hallway, he whispered something I couldn’t understand. 

“What?”

“I said, you can have better than Mizuki.”

My blood started to boil, but I was aware I needed to control my reaction. I approached him again, lowering my voice best I could. If a part of me was trying to sound intimidating, the other one sabotaged my own intentions, revealing the last traces of the truth I tried so hard to suffocate with a broken voice.

“How dare you speak of him like that? He’s kind, caring and maybe if I had a little control about my heart I would’ve chosen him to fall in love with, but instead I fell for you! You! Mizuki is a great person and despite what you think of him, he has always proved how much he loves me and how loyal he can be. I wish I could love him, but instead I’m losing my mind over you!”

I tried to read the emotions painted on his face and failed miserably. He just stood there, still as marble, with his eyes fixed on mine. I could sense something between us was broken for good. I left him there, on those stairs and ran to class, trying my best to suppress the sobs into the hand that covered my mouth while inside my mind a storm of desperation was roaring. A revelation came: I needed to let Tomoe go, let my feelings go and move on in order to regain my sanity. 

"Get out of my head.  Get out of my bed.  Get out of my head. Won't you please tell me now  tell me how am I supposed to live without you?  No, please, don't tell me now (touch me)  tell me how am I supposed to live without you? No, please, don't."

But I didn’t want to renounce to him. 

*******************************************************

June 6, Monday, 11:13 (present time) 

“I didn’t expect you to receive me immediately, Vic.”

“Liar. You know exactly that if you would’ve suddenly returned here from Berlin I would’ve received you hoping to listen to some news, even if you didn’t ask for an urgent meeting.”

“You make me smarter than I am.”

“I know you can be even slyer than this.”

“Shall I took this as a compliment?”

“Do as you wish. Now, speak.”

“Only if you look at me.”

I lifted up my head to meet his gaze, placing the pen I was holding on the written sheet in front of me. I had deliberately chosen to continue studying in front of him, just to let him notice how busy I was and that I wouldn’t interrupt my businesses for conversing with him. Pointless to say, my plan had just failed. I asked myself why I was still trying so hard to prove some kind of point to him, why I was so focused on letting him know I was uninterested in him. I let my hand fall on my lap and looked at him with an annoyed expression depicted all over my face. 

“Happy now?”

“I can’t be happy if you’re looking at me with that expression.”

“You should be grateful I’m looking at you when I’m clearly busy.”

“I thought last time we were able to improve our relationship.”

“You deluded yourself then. Anyway, I don’t have any intention to discuss about this now, just tell me what you came here for.”

“I don’t have any news about your brothers whereabouts.”

“Then you can go, thank you for the report. Mizuki will show the way.”

“Don’t be so hasty, listen to me!”

He stopped my swivel chair from turning back to the desk, placing his hands on the seatback and caging me unintentionally with his body. I looked at a distant point behind him at my right, avoiding his face pointed just in front of mine. I swallowed my guilt, knowing I was acting out more than it was necessary. Albert was being careful in his every action and maybe it was time for me to cut him some slack. It’s not like I had any kind of feelings left for him anymore, it was time to go on. 

“S-sorry. Go on.”

“Did you just apologize to me?”

“Don’t be like that, Albert. I know how to apologize.”

“I know, I just wasn’t expecting this.” 

“…Sit there.”

I signaled him to sit on my bed as I rolled my chair in front of him. We were now at the same eye level and in a more fitting and comfortable position. I crossed my legs and stared down at my hands. I was nervously playing with my fingers and nails. Then I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt his warm hand touching my chin, hinting at me to look at him again, but this time I decided not to listen to him and moved away his hand with my fingers, pushing him away. Silence filled the room with an awkward tension until I whispered, now looking at the window at my left. 

“Albert…I don’t want to argue. We hurt each other every time we speak, but all I want is to have a normal conversation with you. I know it’s mostly my fault. I’m stiff and resentful but…actually, no, I was resentful. Now I don’t feel anything. How badly I treat you is just habit and I wish to change it. We were friends, good friends, and in time maybe we can be like that again. I’ll try to be more fair to you.”

“Vic.”

I finally looked at him and seeing his warm expression made me smile timidly in return. He placed his hands over mine, slightly squeezing them before interlacing our fingers. It was a delicate gesture that brought us back to old times and happy memories we both cherished somewhere, deeply buried in our minds. I let him play with my hands while we resumed our talking.

“So, what were you going to say?”

“Maybe it’s nothing important, but I noticed something while reading Cesare’s file.”

“Which one?”

“The Yiling Patriarch’s one. The one with the conditions for his possible resurrection.”

“What about it?”

“It mentioned a certain kid, Wen Yuan.”

“Yes, I remember.”

“What if he’s alive?”

“What do you mean?”

“The Cesare we both knew wouldn’t have just run away without insuring his safety first. But the only people he truly trusted at that time-“

“-were Sebastian and Hanguang-jun.”

“Exactly.”

“None of them said anything though, even if for different reasons both of them would rather die than reveal something about my brother. On the other hand, Cesare might have resorted to someone else to handle this, but who? I don’t know anyone…”

“Me neither, but I would investigate for you. Maybe Jiang Cheng learned about that kid too and started to search for him.”

“I’m inclined to exclude this option. From what I’ve learned, Jiang Cheng turned his back on Cesare because he couldn’t stand how he defended the Wen clan’s survivors. Unless…if he learned about Cesare’s sacrifice for him…he might have searched for a way to redeem himself…”

My eyes started to blink rapidly with an increasing rhythm that matched the beating of my heart. Albert had just given me new hope, a new lead, a way to get out of the metaphorical swamp I was stuck in. Then a question stamped into my thoughts. Why Sebastian had never mentioned the kid? It wasn’t like him not to pursue this kind of leads.

“Could you search for this kid secretly?”

“I already said I would, but Sebastian may be a better choice. He’s faster.”

“I’m not in a hurry. So, will you?”

“Vic.”

“What?”

“What’s wrong with Sebastian?”

“Noth-"

“Don’t lie.”

I took a pause to reflect about what to do. I was determined to improve my relationship with Albert, but could I trust him with all of my doubts I never dared to speak about? Since Akura-Ou made that observation about my allegedly fake mark of the contract with Sebastian, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking something was wrong. 

“If he hasn’t spoke to me about this kid before, it means there’s a reason.”

“This isn’t an answer.”

“Take it or leave it.”

“All right, I’ll take it. I’ll investigate alone. But what if he discovers it?”

“I’ll handle it. It’s not like he can kill me before my time.”

Or could he?

*******************************************************

Author's note: Hello! As you can probably understand by its title, this chapter's song is italian. To be honest, is a duet between an Italian singer and a very well known Irish one, that was Dolores O'Riondan. I really loved her voice and I instantly fell in love with this duet, and the pain she delivered while singing those lyrics. I have included only the part she sings in english, so there's no need to translate anything, but anyway I suggest you to search for translation of the italian part too. In any case, the translation of the title, just to give you an idea of the meaning, is "Breathless". Anyway, our main character has a very clear sense of her feelings for Captain Levi, she know what she feels like and isn't afraid to admit it to herself, even if she wants to "stomp" over them. Well, time will let us know if she can overcome them. One way to try to free herself is to stop her relationship with Sebastian, the other one is to keep herself occupied with other thoughts and Albert came in the picture at the right moment providing her one: search for A-Yuan. I can spoiler you that you will discover who A-Yuan is and where at the end of this course, so you have all the time to try and guess. To help you, just know his universe (fandom) has already been hinted in the past. As always, thank you for reading!

[pissfizz]

Please tell me about the psekai enstars headcanons I need to hear them!!

Ok well to begin these hcs mostly center around my blorbos

My favorite one is arashi and Mizuki are online friends. They both have a lot of common interests and also are the token idol game transfem and I think their personalities would work well together, so I just think they’d get along well. Mizuki doesn’t know arashi is arashi narukami for awhile but eventually figured it out. Afterwards they meet up in person sometimes to go shopping and go to cafes. Their cameras are full of so many selfies with each other. Mizuki thinks the way arashi is so careful about her appearance and loves taking pictures reminds them a lot of ena. On one occasion Mizuki introduces her to the rest of 25ji and arashi thinks kanade reminds her of Leo, and she says as much. Kanade says she’d love to meet another “genius composer” so arashi gets them together. And their brains work on levels normal people can’t understand and maybe bust out a whole collab song in the time they’re together.

Next is tsukasa and emu. I think sometimes the suous and otoris would get together for parties and things like that when they were kids (usually tori was there too) and emu LOVED tsukasa. Obviously she and tori got along better but it was her favorite thing as a kid to do things to make tsukasa laugh or smile. Eventually their families stopped having reasons to see each other but emu still held tsukasa very close to her heart, and then when the suous start working in the entertainment industry, the two families begin working together more. Eventually the otoris ask to use one of the stages the suous are in charge of for a wxs performance and they agree. Tsukasa is put in charge of running things for it. Emu is so excited to see him again and his first thought is that she hasn’t changed a bit since they were kids. There is a bit of name confusion due to there being two tsukasas present at the time but it’s quickly fixed due to emus nicknaming. The two of them have a very similar friendship to torikasa and sorakasa combined.

Another one is Hajime and kohane. They are like. The same. So therefore I think they’re besties. I think they grew up in the same neighborhood and would play together a lot. They don’t live in the same one anymore, as Hajime had to move to a cheaper one, but they’re still very close. Hajime really wants to see one of kohanes lives, but is so busy that it’s hard. He’s extremely proud of her and looks up to her and wishes he could gain the same confidence that she did. By extension, Hajime is also acquainted with Minori and eventually the other members of VBS. If I’m in the mood for a crack au, I replace kohane with Hajime in vbs. This also ties into my next one…

Which is the tenma siblings times 3!! In which I decided. Yeah fuck it why not? Mitsuru is the middle kid of the tenma family, with him and saki being twins and saki being the younger one. Mitsuru is like the opposite of saki, extremely energetic and 100% healthy and never gets sick. He also cares greatly for his sister, just like tsukasa, but isn’t quite as doting. Tsukasa also dotes on mitsuru but not quite as much as with saki. All three of them get along extremely well and have a strong caring relationship. This also means that Mitsuru is childhood friends with Toya, so when they don’t have work, he and Hajime will try and go to vbs lives together.

Arashi and Izumi are also quite familiar with Shizuku, having done modeling work with her in the past. Izumi thinks she’s a complete airhead and gets frequently impatient with her, but still thinks of her as a good acquaintance. Arashi on the other hand is great friends with her and they get along well. Arashi loves whenever they get to work together and Shizuku always has beauty tips for her. This could also lead to a potential MMJ and knights collab.

I think Ritsu and toya also knew each other in childhood. I think Ritsu learned piano from toyas father, and thus toya was frequently over at their place. Both of them were quiet so they didn’t do much talking with each other, but liked to sit in each other’s presence a lot. They lost contact as they grew up, but sometimes they still think about each other and wonder what happened to the other.

I’ve occasionally dabbled with the idea that arashi and the tenma siblings played at the same playground a lot as children and were playground partners. Sometimes arashi visited their house. When saki got sick they stopped coming to the playground and whenever arashi went to their house no one was home, so she never learned what happened to them. When she meets Mitsuru again however, her worries and wonderings are eased, and she gets to reunite with them.

I also think midori and akito were in the same class for all three years of middle school. They hated each other but midori liked toya.

[jujutsubabe]

Consequential choices

Synopsis: You and Itadori play a dating sim!

Word count: 1.7k

A/n: I love Itadori ❤️ that is all. Thank you.

————

“Nice try. I won’t let a creep like you get the chance!” A girl on the console harrumphed before the choices at the bottom of the screen popped up.

Itadori sat up, squinting at the tv, gripping his controller and flicking between the two options. He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants, looking between the options and you.

You looked up from your phone, “Just pick one, we already messed up her route...”

He flicked his thumb down. “No...I’m gonna win this...”

“But Itadori we have more points with the uh...uhm what’s her name? blonde—“

“Mizuki.”

“Yeah, her! let’s try to go for Mizuki instead!”

He glanced at you before pouting and leaning back onto you. The two of you sat on the couch, him laying right atop of you and craning his neck at an unhealthy degree to see the screen.

He had been playing this dating sim, trying to unlock as many routes as possible before the day ended. So far there were three out of seven unlocked...

It was kind of nice, having Itadori turn around like an expectant puppy, ready to get your opinion on his decisions. He was always a tad too impulsive to win any of the routes. Just skipping the dialogue too quick and immediately misclicking on a bad choice with an annoyed groan.

You couldn’t blame him, with the long dialogues and easy skip button it was easy to mess up. But you were at least able to pace him as he played so he didn’t ruin the route’s you two worked on.

The game wasn’t as easy as it seemed, some characters easier to unlock than others, but this character in particular, the classic pink haired tsundere girl, named Aiko would not budge. She always shot down the answers you thought were so right and got offended if you chose something flirty.

At one point you started looking up the answers online, giving Itadori hints as he nodded along.

“Huh? No way...Our interest score went up like almost a hundred did you see that!” He turned to you with a bright smile before pressing a kiss onto your face, “You’re really good at this...��

Every time he did that, it just made your heart swell. He unconsciously did something cute to you whenever the score went up, it made your ego boost up too high, almost as if It was a reward.

When he found out about your little answer sheet, he shook his head, saying it wasn’t fun if you were “cheating.” Making you two continue without a guide.

So it only made sense that you would get a few answers right before deaccelerating and only choosing answers that got negative results. You and Itadori would wince when you saw your like meter shake as it went down, it always hit a littler harder when you could see the point loss.

Your choices all led up to here, what started with a good roll of fifty points went down to ten. You glanced at him, there was no way you could win her over, everything you said or did just made her uninterested in your character, but Itadori was really set on this.

He continued to flip between the two choices, “I’m just gonna do it.”

You held your breath as he shut his eyes and clicked on an option. The screen loaded, processing your answer, ever so slowly. He peeked his eyes through, the both of you holding all the air in the room

*network failure*

Your mouth popped open and Itadori did a double take at the screen. Blinking quickly as you turned to him and the tv. The words shined across, with no intent on changing.

���Is that... Did—did you save!?” You flipped your head his way, sweat starting to build up when he didn’t look back at you.

He stared at the screen with wide eyes like the tv said something to offend him, giving the network failure his full attention. His controller laid loosely in his grip, like he would drop it at any second.

“Itadori.” You pinched his arm and he turned his head.

“I... I think so. Hold on.” He moved to the console, turning it off and on again, the both of you silently hoping it would work.

You chewed on your nails as he kneeled by the tv, the both of you were way too deep invested in this game.

You didn’t remember the last time Itadori saved, there weren’t too many save points in the game, it was just a “make sure you don’t forget before you log off” kind of game.

You had been playing for hours, if any of your routes got undone you were going to lose your mind.

The screen popped back on, the main menu and characters moved across the screen. It took a second before the load files came up, no time zones on them though.

Itadori stood up, standing in front of it like an old dad watching his football game. (Why do men do this...) He loaded the game and before you knew it, a familiar song from one of the scenes played and Itadori groaned.

“What happened? I cant see, move over.”

He stood to the side, “It restarted to the sleepover.”

You cocked your head at the scene, it was the same route you were going for, with the pink haired girl, but this was one of the scenes that showed up before you messed up.

During this scene the two of you had multiple chances to get on her good side, but continued to get her mad as it went on. It all went downhill from this point.

You gasped when your eyes flickered to the stats. “Itadori!”

“I’ts bad but I can fix it...” He rubbed the back of his neck as he sighed.

“No! I mean look at the bar! We’re back to fifty, we have a chance to win.”

He blinked back, his eyes flying past all of the high scores you had with her. You two hadn’t seen it like this in so long, it gave way more adrenaline than needed.

The scene settled on a few of the characters huddled into a classic “truth or dare” circle. It panned to Mizuki, her text filling out on the bottom of the screen.

“So... [player jizzman33],” Itadori smiled like that was the funniest thing on the planet, “it’s your turn. Do you choose truth or dare?” She asked.

Then the options popped up with a small timer clicking on the side. It was going by so fast, you had fifteen seconds to choose your answer.

You scrunched up your brow, not feeling any better when Itadori looked back at you for an answer. The last time you two did it, you chose an option that made the girl you were going for sneer and leave the party, decking your points by thirty.

You racked your mind for something, you had done this scene so many times with the other girls you needed to think hard for her.

“With brunette she liked truth, cause we confessed to her... and then....”

“Uhhh babe?” Itadori gestured to the timer and you waved him off. “It’s at ten.”

You continued mumbling, “blue hair liked truth cause we got closer to her... and then the green haired girl wanted dare... or was that Aiko?”

Your eyes flickered to the clock like it was a bomb.

Five seconds...

You knew this was beyond dramatic but at this point all cares were dropped. You literally had a chance to fix your mistakes, how were you going to let it slip?

You clicked your tongue, you forgot which option she wanted. You had gotten her route mixed up with another girls, trying to differentiate which girl wanted which choice.

Three seconds...

“I think I’ll randomly choose one...” Itadori pinched one of his eyes closed as he moved the stick.

He needed to do anything but that. You started connecting the dots a little faster, almost feeling your thoughts racing inside your head.

Everything went in slow motion as Itadori’s finger hovered over the ‘X’ button. This was more work than any game you’ve played, every decision led to your heart either being crushed or absolutely delighted.

Your leg jittered as you bit your nails, this was going to make you age a few more years, how is this stress healthy for anyone. Why would someone create a game this stress inducing??

That was when something spiked into your brain. Like a quick uppercut, you got it immediately, the planets aligned themselves and all was understood in the universe.

With at least a second to spare you couldn’t doubt the supposed answer now.

You jumped up, way more eager than you tried to be. “It’s Dare! Pick dare!”

He clicked eyes with you before switching his choice and pressing it in an instant. There was no time to check on your answer, he fully trusted you.

As soon as he selected the screen loaded, and the both of you held your breaths again, eyes focused onto the television.

“Ah dare huh? So brave, you’re the first person to pick that...” the Mizuki smiled, “I dare you to kiss the person sitting next to you.”

The screen turned to the person next to you, which happened to be Aiko, “W-well if we have to! You’re the first person to pick dare so whatever.”

There was a cut scene as she gave the main character a quick peck on the cheek before pulling away.

“Don’t take that as anything but a dare! P-pervert...”

Then the stats shot up as hearts flew across her screen. The score went up by twenty more, and it got closer to the goal than you could have imagined.

You and Itadori turned between each other and the screen. Faces absolutely wide in shock and joy, the both of you felt so happy you thought you could cry.

It was such an earned promotion, you felt proud being able to bring that victory to the table.

Itadori turned to give you a hug but froze, quickly turning back around to quick save the game. After it loaded then he came to you, wrapping you up in a very tight squeeze.

“We did so good!” You giggled when he kissed your cheek, “I’m so proud of us!” Kiss again, “I knew we could do it!” Kiss kiss kiss. He smothered your face in kisses, practically pressing his face into your cheeks and squishing you even more.

You smiled as he attacked your face with pecks all over your cheeks.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if the internet went out again...

[fusonzai]

I think I'm talking about confidence, I'm not too sure.

I was fifteen when I first saw Great Teacher Onizuka. My friend had lent me the DVD set (as you did when it was 2008) and I was about to spend the day watching it, feigning some illness to get out of school for the day. I needed some time alone, to process everything that had been going on around me.

For context, my parents were in the middle of a divorce. My mum, the most amazing person in the world to me, was not having a good time and I was not at all possessed with the skills to help her cope. Processing the concept of divorce, while trying to mediate the two adults going through it, wasn’t something I could handle. I didn’t know what I was doing. I needed a whole day away from friends and away from parents. While everyone was at their day job, I could think about everything and nothing, uninterrupted.

My attempt at getting out of school worked, however it came with a caveat. Mum had decided she’d take the day off with me. Feeling defeated but still stubborn, I insisted that if she was going to stay home too that we were watching GTO. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into.

GTO begins with our protagonist, Eikuchi Onizuka, squatting down by a payphone, trying to stare up the skirts of some high school girls coming down the nearby escalator. That’s a bold open. Two delinquents notice this and attempt to then extort him for cash. He promptly beats them up, forcing them to use all the money they have to buy him some food from the nearby convenience store. This scene establishes a few things straight off the bat: Onizuka is, first and foremost, a pervert and he’s physically strong but not to the point of unfairly asserting dominance over others. Onizuka dreams of being a teacher of all things. He wants to be the teacher he never had, being there for students outside the classroom as well as in. The series showcases Onizuka using his ex-biker gang leader skills and sheer determination to change the attitude of the antagonist students in his class. Each week he solves the reason behind their resistance toward him and they join his team until eventually he really is the Great Teacher, Onizuka.

The first delinquent problem Onizuka solves is that of Mizuki Nanako. Her parents aren’t divorced but they’re not exactly doing well. Ever since her father’s company started doing well and they moved into a mansion, she feels as though her parents just aren’t seeing eye to eye anymore. She blames it on a simple wall separating her parents’ private rooms. Before it got put up, her parents would talk and laugh together, sharing in their joys but also their defeats. Then before she knew it, they put a wall up and stopped sharing anything at all.

So, Onizuka arrives at her house. He’s got a bandana tied around his head, his abs gleaming as he’s smoking a cigarette. More importantly, he’s holding a sledgehammer, ready to demolish that wall. With her parents yelling at him threatening to call the police, Onizuka ascends the staircase and begins to take down that wall. Every powerful swing, shaking the wall and cracking the foundation.

(What a man what a man what a man what a might good man)

It felt cruel watching this scene with my mum. Here we were, two people still trying to process a big life event, opting to spend the day away from the problem. Here Onizuka was, just smashing through the problem with nothing but conviction, stupidity and sheer confidence. I couldn’t quite conceptualise the thought just yet but I think I envied that confidence. I wanted to be able to take a sledgehammer to this invisible problem and fix it. I didn’t know what an actual sledgehammer would solve nor was I even able to figure out what my situational sledgehammer would be, I just knew I wanted to be more like that. I wanted that confidence; I just didn’t know what it was yet.

Confidence. A complete assuredness in your actions. You may not have any idea of the outcome of said actions but you’re certain in the choice you made taking them. Maybe that’s just one definition. I struggle to this day with how to define confidence, I’ve been confident at different times in my life for different reasons. Mainly it’s been something I’ve found as I’ve gotten older though.

I struggled a lot with it when I was younger. I’d struggle to find it and when I did there was someone there trying to take it from me almost immediately. Pink polos were gay, skinny jeans were gay, being interested in anything outside the norm was gay as well. I wasn’t bullied by any means but there was always somebody around to tell you what they thought. I’d fold under that kind of pressure. I remember when I was 10 and we were in music class, I sang a little too loud and the popular girls behind me started pointing and laughing, clipping me before I got too sure of myself.

I got older and I thought I’d found confidence through weight training, but it was just arrogance. I genuinely thought I was better than other people in my creative writing class because I picked heavy things up and put them down. Of course, this had a drawback, whenever I’d meet someone bigger than me, I’d feel pathetic, jealous and inferior. I thought I’d rid myself of this arrogance when I started studying Japanese. My initial study was diligent and excessive. I’d have two Japanese classes a week and spend the rest of my time after work revising. Looking back now it was necessarily efficient studying, but in terms of time put in the hours were there. I believed I was working hard, which led to this arrogance in my abilities. An arrogance that was swiftly cut down whenever I met somebody better than me.

So, I always arrived at this juncture where I’d learn a new skill or hobby and wonder how to be confident in myself without comparing myself to others. I didn’t quite know how to praise myself for doing well at the gym or learning something new in Japanese without immediately comparing myself to others. It meant that I’d occasionally have these emotional highs when I achieved something only to be brought down to earth when I saw that somebody could do it better. I didn’t know how to make my achievements my own. The confidence I had was too fickle, it didn’t come from within and it often led to feeling superior to others based off of a single quantifier.

I was still uncomfortable with myself. I wanted outside validation which led to comparison, boasting and arrogance. I didn’t realise that I couldn’t get any of that from anyone else, it all had to come from within.

It’s taken me 14 years, but Onizuka finally made sense to me. I was watching the incredibly famous (in Japan) live action version of GTO one night, which turned into a nostalgia trip as all the episodes were almost identical to their anime equivalent. As I was watching I was wondering why I still hold this fictional character in such high regard, of all the powerful charismatic anime protagonists I watched in my teenage years, why does Onizuka persevere?

It’s because he’s kind of a dork.

(Get you a man that can do both)

Along with the confidence and strength that being a protagonist in a medium geared towards young boys affords you, Onizuka also has some very human flaws and vulnerabilities. The intense scenes like surprise renovating Nanako’s house or rescuing a whole bunch of kids from a gang are always juxtaposed with him being absolutely wayward in so many other aspects of life. He lives at the school because he can’t afford rent, he’s 26 and never had a girlfriend and his only friends are his students. We are always shown that his confidence isn’t intrinsically linked to how well his life is going, it’s just his feeling and determination in the moment. For all that bravado we see, we’re also shown the more human, relatable aspects. He’s amazing, brave and confident, but at the same time he’s still vulnerable and human.

Yet here’s the thing, I thought confidence meant a lack of vulnerability. I thought one couldn’t be both confident and vulnerable. This isn’t some segue into Boys Don’t Cry or a delve into masculinity. I didn’t believe that vulnerability wasn’t masculine, I just thought that vulnerability meant you had a long way to go before you were allowed to be confident.

(These lines go from bravado to insecurity in an instant, but I still think Tyler is confident as fuck)

I show what I feel to be the pretty vulnerable content on this blog. I write about my doubts and insecurities, the events that shaped me and the times in my life where I really felt at my lowest. I document the struggle I find myself in now, trying to carve something for myself and come to terms with the changes that keep happening around me. I don’t think anybody reading this would have an image of me as an outgoing, confident person. There’s rays of positivity sprinkled in occasionally but it’s generally content that I struggle to tell people in person.

Before starting this blog, I would have imagined that if I wanted to become this confident idealised version of myself, I’d need to erase any form of vulnerability. Delete the Instagram posts with moody lyrics, delete the couple shots and stop caring. I’d need to kill part of myself to become someone different. I couldn’t consciously accept that they were two signs of the same coin, even if I knew it in the back of my mind. The more I’ve been writing the better I’ve been feeling. These fears and insecurities being out in the open don’t make me any weaker, they actually feel like progress. My weaknesses will exist regardless of whether or not I tell people about them, my insecurities won’t disappear overnight. I’ll never be someone I’m not. What I can do is take these things that used to terrify me and put them out in the open. In my last piece I waxed on about making my words my own, by verbalising and bringing these thoughts into the open I feel like they become my own. They’re not completely stripped of power but they don’t hold the same sway over me that they once did.

So that leaves me with confidence. I can air my vulnerabilities and doubts but then where does my confidence come from? How do I then stop it from becoming arrogance?

Let me tell you about Charisma Man.

You know how when Superman goes back to Krypton he’s just a regular person, but on Earth he’s basically a God? Charisma Man is a joke (turned comic) about how Western Men often believe themselves to be Superman on Earth when they move to Japan. Why? You’re basically bombarded with compliments from the get-go. You get told your Japanese is amazing (when it’s not), that you’re so tall (when you’re short back home) and that you’re such a handsome man (when all experiences up until now have led you to believe the opposite). Thus, you create a kind of false confidence for yourself. Or do the people around you do it for you? You yourself haven’t changed but the people around you have, and they’re whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

(Honestly didn't know it was a comic, initially heard of it on a subreddit making fun of other expats in Japan)

Hell, maybe I am good looking? I studied Japanese for a year back home, maybe I am just really good at it? Maybe those people around me back home were just obnoxiously tall and mean. Maybe I am the shit. You begin to formulate this new identity for yourself. You are Charisma Man now. You’ll be making heaps of money, have girls on standby and be loved by everybody in no time.

Except that never happens.

The reality of Charisma Man isn’t so bright. You’re probably an English teacher living somewhere far away from the big city. Your apartment is probably small and old and your salary is half as much as you were making back home. Despite being told about how good your Japanese is, you still can’t turn on the TV and watch a program. You still can’t go to the bank and open an account with your bilingual Japanese friend. You’re still single and you’re probably getting fatter off convenience store fried chicken, if anything.

It’s fake confidence with no merit, built on nothing. You haven’t put yourself out there or done anything to earn that confidence so it always feels foreign to you. There isn’t some feat you perform or some hurdle you cross to get that kind of confidence. You’re not smashing walls with your sledgehammer or confronting your fears and growing. You just get fed compliments until your confidence balloon bursts.

I felt like I was Charisma Man for a hot minute. Separated from everyone I knew, out drinking every night, being complimented left right and centre. I kept trying and failing to keep my feet on the ground. Back then I thought it was new-found confidence, but I wasn’t really coming out of my shell; I was just being obnoxious. After long the facade faded and I realised I was the exact same Elliot I was back in Australia, just with less money and a nicer haircut.

I began to think about my experience. Why was I so confident? Why did it dissipate so quickly? Why was I not the only one that experienced this little phenomenon?

I came to the conclusion that confidence can come from many places. It can come from other people, but then it’s reliant on the praise of others. It’s shallow, fickle and bound to dissipate sooner rather than later. You’re constantly reliant on the praise of others to affirm who you are as a person, you can fool people into giving you praise but that goes away before you know it as well.

It’s a big enough of a struggle to understand yourself, it’s near impossible to understand strangers. Relying on such an unstable form of validation is essentially just inviting mental trauma in the long run.

On the other hand, confidence can also come from within.

After I distanced myself from all that charisma, I began to realise that I felt my best and my most confident when I actually put the work in. I started properly studying, eating well, and writing down my thoughts. It didn’t matter as much if people didn’t say anything, because I went to bed every night knowing that I put in enough work. Nobody said anything about the change, but I felt like I was becoming my own biggest supporter.

It’s both rewarding and daunting when you switch dopamine suppliers. I used past tense in those last few sentences because that particular fountain hasn’t been flowing so well lately. The flip side of not letting other people’s compliments fuel you anymore is that when you’re not doing right by yourself, that confidence tend to dry up pretty quickly.

[renaxwrites]

Eleven

.06 -  Fool’s Gold

synopsis: the number Eleven had always appeared in milestones of your life. it was a constant, and you didn’t know why. but you would soon find out when you study abroad in japan and meet Him.

pairing: tsukishima x fem!reader

warnings: none!

masterlist: here :)

a/n: hey y’all! I’m so happy I finally found the time to write the new chapter 😩 college is busy but it izzz what it izzz. also I felt the lyrics for this one were perfect, cause *lol* crows a ha ;) hope you enjoy <3

previous || next

I’m like a crow on a wire. You’re the shining distraction that makes me fly home.

“What the hell is so damn funny? Enlighten me before I make myself go deaf on purpose.”

You and Yachi were giggling for the past five minutes about something that had happened earlier in class.

Face flustered and trying to keep a still face, you turn and sputter out, “Damn, Tsukishima, is- is it a crime pfft to lau- I’m so sorry I can’t even talk to you right now.” You barely get the last of your sentences out as you burst into giggles again.

Tsukishima is just watching you. He’s not even sure how to react. He isn’t even aware that he was staring until Hinata comes up, flicks his head between you two, and states, “Tsukishima, just take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

Tsukishima blushes furiously from getting caught, then mutters something about taking a picture of Hinata in his grave.

All of you were in good spirits, with it being the day of the Harvest Moon Festival. Ukai even ended practice early, to allow everyone the time to prepare for the festivities. Although, he had to lightly threaten Hinata and Kageyama if he found out they used the gym outside of practice.

Mizuki encouraged Yachi to get ready with you at the house, hoping to hearten up the girl-bonding the three of you had. She got off of work early to help you two get ready, and it truly was a wholesome experience.

After several hours (or several years to Tsukishima), you and Yachi were all dressed and ready to go. She brings out a mirror so the two of you can inspect your looks.

“You girls look so lovely,” Mizuki gushes.

Let the squealing commence!

“YACHIIII! You’re glowing in that color! Do a spin for me girlie!!”

“Y/NNNN! You’re the one that’s glowing!! I swear, I can already hear all the boys breaking their necks to peek at you!!”

Mizuki had been watching all three of you, so she was a little surprised at her son’s sudden intense blush after the “boys checking out y/n” comment. She definitely took a mental note of that.

Suddenly, a knock at the door captured all of your attention.

Mizuki clasps her hand. “Alright! Kei, watch over these two lovely ladies! Be careful and have fun!” She bids you all goodbye with a hug.

You open the door to find Yamaguchi, Hinata, and Kageyama bouncing from excitement.

“We invited these idiots too? Well, I’m out,” Tsukishima turns to walk back inside, but before he could, you lightly grab his wrist, causing him to abruptly stop. You feel his warmth and swear there’s a light spark.

“Tsukishima, please? It’s my first time anyway, and I want to experience it with everyone! Come on, it’ll be fun!”

He already felt somewhat weak around you, so how could he say no to your puppy-sad eyes? No one with sanity could resist those.

He rolls his eyes. “Fine. Let’s go before I change my mind.”

Everyone collectively sighs a breath of relief.

“We’re going to meet the senpais at the festival ground, so let’s gooo!” Hinata announces as you all make your way to the main event.

The main town square was overflowing with festive decorations, painting every nook and cranny. It was just before sunset, so the glow of the lowering sun drowned the atmosphere in golden haze. Pampas grass, blush clovers and autumnal flowers littered windows, adding an extra pop of color. There were people dancing in joyous manner, others feasting on mid-autumn treats, and extra citizens strolling around enjoying the festivities.

Your group had barely walked into the entrance when you were cheerily greeted by 6 more individuals.

“OI! First-years! Your senpais are over here!” Tanaka and Nishinoya belted out to capture your groups’ attention. Soon, you feel engulfed in several hugs from your senpais. Even you and Yachi spent a few minutes with Kiyoko on complimenting each other, who looked like a gem with her deep violet theme.

Time began to fly by, with you and the team happily making your way around the festival, participating in all the activities offered. At some point, there was a dance ritual, and Kiyoko took you and Yachi by surprise by dragging you out to dance. The three of you danced without a care in the world, not even noticing how you were being watched in awe by the rest of the team. All but the first year boys are quick to join, who stand idly on the side, not sure what to do.

Mid-twirl, you notice the four awkward boys playing ‘wallflower’, so you mention it to Yachi, and within that second you two stride up to them. She grabs Tobio and Hinata’s wrists, while you clasp onto Tadashi and Tsukishima’s.

“There is no way we’re letting you stand there like some awkward ass trees. Come dance with us, at least for a little bit!” You didn’t wait for a response as you dragged them out into the square. You let go and slide into the rhythm of the native dance, while the boys awkwardly try to follow. You take a turn helping each of them, and although it was pretty much a lost cause, you all still had a load of fun either way.

Once the period of dancing was over, you and the team made your way over to the food stands. The closer you got, the more engulfed you were in the endless delicious scents. There were heavier servings, such bottomless amounts of dango (white dumplings of rice), tsukimi burgers, and lots of dishes with eggs. Fall fruits and vegetables were also present, such as kuri (chestnuts), kabocha (pumpkin), persimmons, Japanese sweet potatoes, taro, grapes, and pears.

The boys ate a portion from each stand, their appetite never seeming to end. However, you had a hard time deciding which one to choose, so you, Yachi and Kiyoko settled and shared a bit from each. To help the digestion, you made your way to make your harvest offerings.

Each member made line at the temple to make their offering, but Tsukishima sensed your hesitation.

“Don’t know how to do it? I thought you knew everything, you nerd.”

You look up and laugh in slight embarrassment. “I do, it’s just been a while, I guess. Brings back a couple memories, that’s all.”

To be lightly petty, you cut him in line. To your surprise, he doesn’t make a sarcastic comment, so you leave it alone.

The reason why he didn’t was so he could have the privilege to watch you. To see you bask in the soft glow of the candlelight, with wisps of the incense swirling around your face. To feel his own fascination in seeing stillness in your features, for just a moment.

By the time every member had made their offering, it was dark, meaning the moon viewing was about to start.

The moon was shining its brightest at the highest peak in the sky. All of those attending had gathered to surround the main area for the viewing, to get the best view of the moon. Music was softly playing, setting a serene tone.

You and the team had huddled together in awe. But for some reason, something seemed amiss. You turn to each of your friends, only to find one missing.

Tsukishima.

Whispering to Yachi, you set off in search to find him. It shouldn’t be too hard, considering almost everyone was being entranced by the moon. Plus, he’s, you know, pretty tall.

You feel it’s best to retrace your steps. And right you were!

You find Tsukishima purchasing an item, and get the bright idea of trying to sneak behind him. Somehow thinking you were going to be able to scare him. However, you failed two steps in.

He turns around and you two barely missing collision, almost dropping the small bowl in his hand.

“Tsk tsk. Your stalking almost wasted my money, y/n.”

Still catching your breath, you glare up at him. “Well sheesh, not my fault you snuck off.”

He smirks and shakes his head. “Excuse me for going out of my way to be generous, never again I suppose.”

Tilting your head, you ask, “What do you mean?”

He suddenly turns bashful. Thank goodness it was dark enough to mask the pink now flooding his cheeks.

“Well, I saw you practically drooling for these earlier, so...” his voice trails off. He looks in the opposite direction as he puts the bowl out for you to take. You glance down in curiosity. Inside were four little mochi balls in the shape of rabbits.

You feel a bit of blush on your cheeks, and you bring him back down to earth as you say, “You got this for me?”

“It’s either that or hear whining when we get back. I’d rather spend a couple yen for silence to be honest,” he shrugs.

You laugh and playfully push his shoulder with yours. “I’m not that whiny. You swear. Anyway, let’s head back, the moon viewing has already started.”

You begin to walk back to your friends when you feel a gentle tug on your wrist. Turning, you see Tsukishima with his iconic smirk, along with a mysterious, playful glint in his eyes.

“Actually, I have a better spot in mind.”

He leads you back towards the temple, which then branches off to a smaller , more hidden path. Eventually, the two of you are peering over a quaint koi pond, surrounded by lush plant life. Your eyes full of wonder, all while glowing in the moonlight.

Tsukishima has never seen anything so beautiful.

You hardly notice his intense staring as you look up in awe and ponder, “How do you know about this place? It’s gorgeous!”

He breaks his gaze to stare up at the moon above. “This is the one place I have to myself. The one place I can run and hide whenever I needed to. It was just me, and no one else. But...it feels right to share it right now.”

You feel both honored and mesmerized by this moment. To make it sweeter, you open your box and hand a mochi to Tsukishima. “Cheers.”

He silently accepts your mochi and doesn’t object when you clink your rabbit against his, like a teacup. The two of you munch the treat, then continue to revel in the comfortable silence.

After a while, you hear faraway bustles of people, indicating that the viewing was finishing up. “I hate to leave, but it seems like we’re almost done,” you admit forlornly as you pick up your bowl.

Tsukishima is quick to notice a few strands fall from your face, so he takes this opening to lift your chin and tuck them behind your ear.

Your breath hitches.

“You know, I’m sure many boys probably broke their necks today. That color looks good on you.”

You realize this is a response to Yachi’s comment from earlier, and are not even sure how to react. Especially not when he’s super close to you right now. How dare he, messing with your brain’s functionality.

But just as quick as the moment arrived, it was gone.

You both begin trekking back to the team. Just as you feel your phone vibrate to notify it being Eleven o’clock, you feel a warm, “not-too-hard, not-too-soft” pinky tenderly wrap around yours.

It felt just right.

I'm the first to admit that I’m reckless . I get lost in your beauty and I can’t see two feet in front of me.

taglist: @jiminslonglostjams @fantasymirror @shewastheriot @lukes-princess @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire @its-bnha-babe @desi-studys @shootooooo @noya-senpai-imagines @animefan7420 @anpancari @tsukkx @cadabby @thoebe-fly @it-was-just-a-ship @imconfusedanditsok @alexa360b34st @delicious-peaches-blog @shinguchi @creammy0

[momorabu]

Ibara Hime - Playthrough (Part I)

Warning: Spoilers. R18 Story.

Been wanting to write about this game ever since I’ve played it in December last year! Ibara Hime is a game I’ve been wanting to try since forever, so I’m glad to say I’m blown away by this small little doujin game. Frankly speaking, I thought it was very well-written, and playing it felt like a roller-coaster ride.

Please note that this game contains sexual scene (I didn’t put any NSFW images though), incest, a depiction of blood, and crazy/twisted characters. If you think you can handle all these, please continue~

The story started off from a memory where the siblings were young, and the neighbours had mistaken them as a pair of twins. The heroine, Ririko corrected them that she’s the elder sister, and Mizuki is her younger brother by 11 months. Even though they were born months between them, they’re still in the same school year and thus pretty much in the same age group.

Even though both of them were really close to each other when they were small, something happened when they were in junior high, and after that, Ririko was always avoiding Mizuki whenever they’re in the same house. Also, Ririko has a pessimistic look on herself, with Mizuki growing up with good looks, tall (184cm OWO), and popular with girls, while she sees herself as short and fat (doesn’t seem so from the CGs though =w=“), and struggled to even converse with guys ever since then. She still wishes to be in a good relationship with her brother someday though...

Recently, Ririko finally gets a boyfriend for the first time in her life. Her mum had known about it and even offered to make a bento for him if Ririko could help to bring her brother’s bento to him at school since Mizuki had forgotten his when rushing out of the house this morning. Ririko reluctantly agreed since the idea of carrying three bento was heavy for her. (Note: Mizuki usually leaves the house quite early for soccer practice, and Ririko would wait until he had left before making an appearance at the kitchen, as a way of avoiding the morning with him.)

Ririko went off to school and met her friend, Minato in class. Minato had a crush on Mizuki and wanted to ask him out on a double date with Ririko and her boyfriend since Mizuki had recently broken up with a beautiful senpai awhile ago. She worried about her friend being in a relationship with Mizuki since it might be difficult for them to remain as friends if she breaks up with Mizuki later on. 

Seeing that her brother was popular among girls, he dated quite a few of them and had even brought one of them home in the past. Ririko knew that since... she had unexpectedly chanced upon their bed scene a few years ago. It turned out to be a trauma for her, as Mizuki and she would even sleep and bathe together just a few months before, and from then, she started to avoid Mizuki. In Ririko’s mind, she sees Mizuki as someone who had grown up into a man much faster than her, and felt abandoned, and also from then, she found herself tense and nervous whenever she sees him. Mizuki could sense that she was avoiding him, and thus decided to silently distant away from her. That was how it had been for the past few years, though Ririko knew that they can’t be like this forever...

Ririko’s trauma was serious to the point that, other than not knowing how she should face Mizuki, she also struggled to get along with guys, since she doesn’t really like them. But one guy stood out among the other guys recently - Itoh Takayuki. (I shall refer to him as Itoh) He was Mizuki’s classmate ever since they were in junior high, and had confessed to Ririko. Itoh was a serious guy with good looks, but never plays around other girls nor goes on “goukon”, so pretty much a really good guy in Ririko’s eyes that she even felt that it would be a waste for him to pair up with her. It has been a week since the two has started dating, with Ririko still not used to the idea of having a boyfriend since she’s not even good at talking with guys in the first place D:

As it was lunchtime, Ririko decided to go to Mizuki’s and Itoh’s class to pass them their bentos, and to borrow a textbook from Itoh as well. Minato decided to take this chance to tag along, even asking to eat their bentos over there too. Itoh immediately came over when he saw Ririko peeking into their classroom, and after knowing that she had brought bentos for him and Mizuki, asked Mizuki to join them together for lunch too. 

(Finally, the main characters for this game have all gathered. Blonde guy - Itoh / Brown hair guy - Mizuki)

It was a nostalgic experience for Ririko to eat and have a conversation with Mizuki, since even though they do eat dinner as a family together, Ririko does not talk to Mizuki at all actually. Even Mizuki remarked that he felt weird eating bentos with Ririko in the classroom =w=“ (Damn, this pair of siblings really do not get together that well now...) However, with Itoh and Minato chiming into the conversation, the atmosphere felt much better overall for the group, and even agreed to go for a karaoke at the end of the day together.

Apparently, some guys walked past them in class and remarked that Ririko was cute as they noticed that she’s Mizuki’s sister. Mizuki coolly told them that she’s already “taken”. (In a way Mizuki can still be protective over her) But turned out the guys were mistaken, and thought that Minato was Ririko, and that made Ririko felt more uncomfortable about her looks, knowing that she looks that different from Mizuki. (How can you mistake them from their looks? =w=“) Mizuki angrily chased them off, since the group could see that Ririko was very uncomfortable about those guys.

When lunch was over, Minato was raving all about Mizuki as they made their way back to their classroom. (She really has a huge crush on him, even remarking that Ririko must be too used to Mizuki’s face by now) Ririko realised that she has forgotten to get the textbook from Itoh, and hurriedly went back.

However, she stopped when she reached the door of the classroom, hearing loud laughter from the guys as they were in a discussion... about her. Mizuki complained how troublesome it was to have his friend and sister dating together, and felt that the lunch break together was dull, though Itoh still enjoyed it. (Gah, what a contrast when I thought they were getting along well together just now!) It was then revealed that Itoh confessing to Ririko was part of a punishment game, and the other guys were initially interested to know how cute Ririko was, but after seeing her today, they felt disappointed and honestly thought that Itoh was unlucky to get the punishment for their game. (Damn, these guys are cruel!)

The realisation of this almost made Ririko blacked out. Even though Itoh told the other guys that Ririko is cute and it would be too pitiful for her to find out, all of these fell on deaf ears since Ririko could only think of how her relationship with Itoh was actually all a lie. The rest of her school day went by in a blur later on, and she decided to go home after school, giving an excuse that she’s not feeling well to opt-out from the karaoke session they had decided on going earlier on. (I don’t think anyone would be in the mood to go if they were in her shoes ><”)

Ririko had wanted to stay alone at her home to calm down when she heard the doorbell rang. Usually, Mizuki will just enter the house without ringing the doorbell, but now that it’s raining, Ririko wondered whether he was wet from the rain, and since their parents aren’t home, she had no choice but to head down and open the door.

Turned out it was Itoh at the door. He remarked that Minato and Mizuki were still singing karaoke, whereas he, on the other hand, wanted to have some couple time with Ririko by themselves. (All his words now sound like a lie after knowing the truth, ugh D:) Ririko was still pissed, and was thus cold to Itoh, telling him to make his way up to Mizuki’s room while she makes some coffee. Itoh, however, revealed that he wanted to go to her room instead. Ririko explained that she’s not feeling well, but Itoh could see that it’s a lie and she seems pissed at him, wanting to know what is it about.

(Feels abit bad for Itoh but ughhhh I don’t really think he’s a good guy)

Ririko reluctantly told him the way to her bedroom and brought coffee up to it. Itoh mentioned that he has a younger sister and thus was always interested to know what an elder sister is like until he realised that Mizuki’s elder sister, Ririko was actually the same age as them. Ririko went on to have a conversation with him, though deep down she thought about the matter of Itoh’s confession. It’s not like she really likes Itoh romantically actually, and was also making use of him to get rid of her fear and dislike of guys when she accepted his confession. (Wow, she’s honest~ But sounds like this relationship has no love TWT) But now, after a week of spending time together, Ririko realised that her days were heart beating of excitement and happiness of having a boyfriend for the first time, and that made her felt even more depressed after learning about the truth. She sighed and told Itoh that she wanted to break up with him, telling him that though she agreed to be his girlfriend initially, she doesn’t like him romantically.

Itoh’s face turned serious and answered that he knew that (sir just takes in the truth so peacefully), but he believed that they can get along well in a relationship and this was what he had proposed initially when he confessed to her. Ririko revealed what she overheard at lunch, and told Itoh that he doesn’t have to take pity on her and forcefully date her and that she’s not hurt nor bothered at all. It seems like her words hurt Itoh as the latter was sad to know that she doesn’t care about his feelings for her, and told Ririko that his feelings for her were not fake, and in fact he was just playing along with the other guys and acting in the conversation earlier on, apologising if his act from then had hurt her. He confessed to Ririko again that he really likes her, not because she was his friend’s sister, and he doesn’t like other girls either. 

Ririko pondered whether she should believe Itoh’s words since she also knew that there’s no merit in him dating her just because of a punishment game as Ririko doesn’t like him either. In the end, she decided that they shall continue with their relationship for now, until the point that she was more used to be around guys. She also revealed that she feared that she might end up liking Itoh for real if they had continued to date (probably one of the reasons why she wanted to stop the relationship I guess?), to which Itoh assured her that he will always like Ririko. 

(What happens, later on, is some lovey-dovey time between the two~ Though Ririko keeps telling herself that she doesn’t like Itoh, I feel that she does, maybe just a bit~? You won’t want to kiss someone you don’t like at all, I guess?)

Ririko thought back to the time when Itoh had confessed to her. He had stopped her when she was about to head home on that day, introducing himself as Mizuki’s friend and asking if she had remembered him since he came to their home from time to time. (She only knew him as Mizuki’s best friend from junior high at that time.) Itoh was interested to know if Ririko has anyone she’s fond of, which somehow pissed her off as she rebutted why did he want to know this, and Itoh sensed that she seems to dislike him. Ririko replied that she doesn’t dislike him, but found him very suspicious. (Ririko is so straightforward that I’m finding her cute XD) Itoh answered back that he has no motive for wanting to know that, other than his own desire that they won’t be able to date each other if Ririko has someone else she’s fond of. And with that came Itoh’s confession, as he told her that he has always been looking at Ririko though the latter never noticed him, and felt that things won’t look up for him if he didn’t confess to her. In the end, he proposed that they can try dating, and if Ririko had disliked him, they can then break up. This was how Ririko had accepted his confession in the end. She thought of how sincere Itoh’s confession was back then, and thus felt that Itoh’s feelings for her must be real...

Back to the present, Ririko asked Itoh whether he likes her to the point that he wanted to have sex with her, he sees this as an invitation and what goes on is some foreplay of Itoh licking and grabbing Ririko’s breasts, and later on fingering her. But the two didn’t manage to proceed any further... since Mizuki had come back and were even standing by Ririko’s opened bedroom door watching them. 

(This may be a side info, but Itoh was surprised to know that Ririko did not wear any bra under her clothes at home, and cautioned her that it’s bad since Mizuki lives under the same roof as her. I wonder if this is considered a forewarning =w=“)

Mizuki remarked that he’s surprised to see that Itoh was serious in a relationship with his sister, to which Itoh rebutted that Mizuki was rude that he did not knock and even interrupted their moment. Mizuki smirked as he warned Itoh not to play around with Ririko since she might end up falling in love with him for real, but Itoh affirmed that he really likes Ririko romantically. Mizuki made fun of them and then headed off into his own room. (What is it with this guy?!! OAO”)

Due to Mizuki’s interruption, Itoh and Ririko didn’t feel any lust to continue their attempt at sex anymore. Taking this chance, Ririko told Itoh that she had accidentally opened the door to Mizuki’s room three years ago and found him in the middle of having sex with another girl, and with that, they started talking about their sex experience. (Okay, apparently Itoh isn’t exactly a virgin either. His first partner was a year ago, and... obviously, Ririko is still a virgin, which Itoh was elated about, and told her that she would only have sex with him forever now - sounds like a forewarning in this game ^^; Ririko sounds sad knowing that she probably won’t be able to have sex with any other guys other than Itoh since nobody probably will ever sexually like her.)

Minato called later on and turned out Mizuki didn’t go for the karaoke, (rushing back to stop Itoh?!!) but she was elated to be invited for a pool date with him. She asked Ririko to accompany her to Mizuki’s classroom tomorrow at lunch again, as she had decided to make a bento for Mizuki (and Mizuki’s bento can be passed to Itoh instead XD) Hearing Minato so happy just made Ririko worry, as she would hate to see her friends in tears later on (knowing Mizuki had broken how many hearts of girls in the past)... In the end, the two girls decided that they would have lunch separately with the guy they’re fond of for lunch.

Since there’s no soccer practice for Mizuki and Itoh in the weekend, Ririko wondered perhaps this would be a good chance for Itoh and her to have their very first date~

During lunch, Ririko brought the bentos up for Itoh and asked him if he was free during the weekend. Hearing that Mizuki and Minato are going to the pool this weekend, Itoh proposed that they do the same too, but apparently, Ririko has a complex with her body and isn’t willing to. The two ultimately decided to go on a shopping trip and watch a movie instead. 

(The happy daily life segment will end here... what happens, later on, will be considered the main theme of this story~?)

When Ririko reached home, she found that her father had come home earlier than expected, and her mother and he were in a hurry packing up things. Her mum explained to her that their relative at another state had passed away this morning, and thus they need to rush over there to settle some matters. They won’t be at home for the rest of the week until the weekend is over since there’s quite alot of matters and ceremonies to get through. Even though Ririko wanted to go along with them, her parents asked her to stay and take care of Mizuki’s meals. 

After her parents were gone, Ririko took a peek at the fridge to see what’s available and decided to make Mizuki’s favourite curry for dinner. But after she had finished making dinner and waited until 8pm, Mizuki was still not home. (Ririko usually had her dinner at 6.30pm, but seeing that she had made the dinner herself this time, she wanted to try eating together with Mizuki... What a pity...) Seeing that she had a television programme she wanted to watch at 9pm, Ririko decided to take a shower first before dinner.

When she was done with her shower, she heard the front door opened and knew that Mizuki was home. She rushed out to the common bathroom to get changed, only to meet Mizuki there unexpectedly. Embarrassed, Ririko hid behind the bathroom door and asked Mizuki to pass her a towel so she can wrap herself up. (And... Mizuki passed a face towel.. what the....?! =w=“) 

After wrapping herself up properly with a towel, she chased after Mizuki, who had stepped out from the bathroom, asking him why had he returned home so late and whether he wants to have dinner. Mizuki showed a reluctant face and explained that he had his dinner outside since he got a message from their parents that they’re not at home. Ririko wasn’t pleased to hear that and complained that she had made this curry knowing that Mizuki was a fan of it, and was thus disappointed to know that he had eaten his dinner elsewhere. The two later got into a conflict, and Ririko lost her balance and fell in midst of that.

But before she went crashing onto the floor, Mizuki caught her. Unfortunately, the towel that was wrapping around her fell off, and she could see that Mizuki’s gaze was on her bare breasts before him. She wanted to leap off from Mizuki’s arms to pick up her towel, but Mizuki scooped her up in a princess hug before she knew it, and suddenly complimented that her body was beautiful OWO

Mizuki’s words sent Ririko into confusion. She’s afraid of looking at his face and wondered why he had said that since in her mind she had seen herself as ugly and chubby, and Mizuki must have seen the naked bodies of much more beautiful girls than her. Mizuki asked her whether she had done all this (erm... making dinner and running out of the bathroom with just a towel, and falling to strip herself =w=“) to seduce him and even went on to ask whether she’s still a virgin, offering to teach her about sex so that she could perform better when she has sex for real with Itoh. (It was at this moment that both Ririko and I felt that Mizuki is definitely getting weird in his head...) He revealed that Itoh actually had sex with two girls before he’s with Ririko (Itoh said he only did it with one girl before so who’s speaking the truth?), and seeing that Ririko is still a virgin, he wanted to take her first time away before Itoh does. (Wow... That just sounds like NTR thoughts right there, Mizuki seems like a villain now ><”)

Ignoring screams from Ririko to let her go, Mizuki carried her off into his bedroom...

Mizuki climbed on top of Ririko after putting her down on his bed (I like how Ririko’s thoughts / diss that she can’t get him off seeing that he’s 70kg even though he’s slim, well... Mizuki is very tall after all). Mizuki smiled as he revealed that he was always frustrated with Ririko, tying up her hands with her bath towel (yikes, we are stepping into some SM play here) He could sense that Ririko had been avoiding him since three years ago like he was some dirty thing that she didn’t want to get close with. He wondered whether Ririko had viewed him as “dirty” since he had slept with a girl before, and thus felt that perhaps Ririko should remain as a virgin forever. Though what Mizuki had said was considered childish to Ririko, she knew that her avoiding Mizuki just because he had sex was also childish of herself, and apologised to him, explaining that she was just afraid of him after learning that he’s a man too at that time.

However, even after she had apologised, Mizuki showed no sign of letting her go. He smiled at her and gently said that he’s not going to forgive her so easily seeing that he was being abandoned for 3 years. (I remember getting all tensed up during this part, Mizuki is scary D:) Ririko wondered whether Mizuki had hated her very much after being hurt by her all these years. She struggled to get him off her, but with her hands tied up, it’s impossible, while Mizuki grabbed onto her thighs and started caressing them. Mizuki even took out his phone and took photos of Ririko’s naked body after that, making Ririko all angry and embarrassed. He sneakily asked Ririko whether he should send the photo to Itoh (the blackmail part =w=“), which she could only shed tears in embarrassment. Who could expect that her brother was doing all this to her in real life, just like what had happened in erotic manga or novels?

(Mizuki’s smile here is scary once you know what’s happening OAO”)

Mizuki, putting his phone away, spread open Ririko’s legs and began licking at her private area. Ririko struggled but failed, wondering whether her brother was doing this was to punish her for abandoning him for three years, as Mizuki could always have sex with other girls he’s feeling horny. She begged for him to stop, and would rather get punched by him instead. Mizuki simply replied that after seeing Itoh and her in bed, he had initially wanted to ignore her like how she did to him in the past but realised that he can’t.

Ririko’s brain went running wondering why things had developed to such a state. Did she really treat her brother that badly? But soon, she started to feel good from Mizuki’s licking and realised that she’s spreading her legs out by herself since Mizuki wasn’t even using much force to force her legs to open anymore... Mizuki could sense that she’s turning horny and wanted something more, and began to undress. Ririko stopped him, rebutting that she would rather bite her tongue and die than to have sex with him, but Mizuki was unfazed at all, even ensuring her that as long as they used a condom, it’s alright for siblings to have sex with each other. (Guy, what the hell are you talking about?!! D:) 

Initially, Ririko had thought that Mizuki was just toying and playing around with her to punish her, but she began to get scared when she realised that he wasn’t joking on penetrating her with his penis. She shouted that she doesn’t want to do it with Mizuki, but instead only with Itoh, wishing that her brother will wake up to the idea that they’re siblings and Ririko actually had a boyfriend. She was shocked when she felt a sharp pain on her right cheek, Mizuki had slapped her. (Damn, Mizuki you are the worst! D: He actually hit her pretty hard to the point she felt as if her head was going to fly off ><”)

Ririko stared hard at Mizuki, who was looking right back at her with a cold gaze. She remembered that they used to quarrel and fight when they were small, but Mizuki had never fight back at her. He coolly replied that he had not hit her at full force since he was using his left hand. (Ughhhh I’m fuming just reading this part again D:) Ririko could feel herself shivering in fear as even though she could see a glimpse of sadness in Mizuki’s cold expression, he told her to die, even taunting her to bite her tongue right now to die. 

After staring at her up close for a moment, Mizuki suddenly unties her and... kicked her out of the room. (She was still naked so you can think how cold it was outside, at least return her her towel Mizuki D:)  Ririko was shocked that things had ended suddenly, though she worried on how she’s going to face Mizuki from now on... (A real pity since she was just starting to think of getting on better terms with him from before.)

(You thought things will be over that easily? It’s just starting...)

The next morning, Ririko felt pain when she awoke, and remembered what had happened yesterday. Mizuki had hit her, and this was nothing like the Mizuki she had remembered when they were young. She still wanted to apologise to Mizuki once again for avoiding him in the past and rushed down to catch him before he left for school. (But still failed, guess Mizuki is sort of avoiding her now)

She heads off to school, only to have to listen to Minato complaining about how Mizuki had not been replying to her messages. (That last thing Ririko would want to hear about is Mizuki at this moment =w=“) Though Ririko felt Minato was being annoying, she invited her to her house to have a sleepover. (I guess Ririko won’t want to stay alone with Mizuki at night in the house, I won’t either D:) Minato suggested that all four of them (the girls, Mizuki and Itoh) have lunch together since she knew that Ririko didn’t bring any bento and she had made enough sandwiches for everyone anyway, and while Ririko agreed, she left the task of inviting the guys to her while she went off to the infirmary.

Along the way, she wondered perhaps Mizuki’s mind had gone off onto a weird path after being abandoned and hurt by her, and if that was so, she kind of blamed it on herself. Just at this point, she met Itoh and Mizuki who was on their way up the stairs as she was heading down, but just as she was about to call out to Mizuki, someone knocked into her, causing her to lose her balance and fall down the stairs... 

Ririko felt someone catching her as she lost her consciousness. (At this point of the game, you can choose to guess if it’s Mizuki or Itoh, which... will affect the ending.) When she awoke, she found herself lying in the infirmary, with Itoh looking worriedly over her. Turned out that Ririko had a fever at 39 degrees, and thus Mizuki would bring her home later on after lunch, with Minato coming over after school to take care of her (since Mizuki still had club practices to attend to after school). 

(Itoh had wanted to fulfil his duties as a boyfriend, but failed to even get a chance to send her home or accompany her to classes since apparently only family members and classmates are allowed to do so. That’s kind of a weird rule to set in school... or is that normal...? Feels kind of bad for Itoh though I’m still not a fan of this guy D:)

It was revealed that Mizuki was the one who had caught Rirko while she fell from the staircase earlier on (so Mizuki still has a heart for his sister after all?). Mizuki made an appearance and sarcastically said that he’s afraid that Itoh’s arms would break if he was the one who caught Ririko instead. (Are you dissing Itoh is weak or Ririko is fat? Or maybe both? =w=“) Ririko noticed that Mizuki did not even look at her at all, and truthfully speaking, she did not want to stay at home with Mizuki alone currently. The two guys sort of fussed over getting Ririko to get up and head home, the teacher at the infirmary teased her that she’s lucky to be treated like a princess by two ikemen (Teacher, if you would have to know what’s going on in the mind of these two guys, you won’t say that she’s lucky anymore =w=“). 

Mizuki held onto Ririko’s hand while taking her home. Even though she could not see his face at all, Ririko could sense the warmth from his hand, and felt reassured somehow.

It was night time when Ririko awoke after a nap on her bed. The time was 7.30PM and she could hear Minato and Mizuki conversing downstairs. Mizuki offered to send Minato to the train station but Minato had wanted to stay over and look after Ririko. She even wanted to stay at Mizuki’s room if it wasn’t good to stay in Ririko’s room while she was sick. (Wow, Minato sure is hinting hard at Mizuki here) But Mizuki rejected her, even cancelling their date plans in the weekend, explaining that he wasn’t able to accept her feelings. Minato felt hurt for being rejected suddenly like that, and even if her feelings were rejected, she still wanted to stay with Ririko since she’s worried about her, and know that Mizuki won’t be at home tomorrow due to practices. Mizuki scolded Minato off for being annoying (yikes, things are turning ugly D:), and concluded that if Ririko had not recovered, he won’t go anywhere and would stay by her side. (Erm, so in a way he still worries and cares about her...?) 

Minato started to get suspicious on why Mizuki kept rejecting her and didn’t even want her to stay by Ririko’s side, but Mizuki simply replied her that he wanted to be the one to be by Ririko’s side, and he felt that he treasured Ririko more than how Minato treasured her. (Somehow it just feels so ironic since I still remembered what you did to Ririko yesterday Mizuki =w=“ Am I supposed to get touched here?) Minato rebutted that of course, she understood Mizuki’s feelings since she likes Ririko more than Mizuki. (So I guess her feelings towards Mizuki is just a crush, friendship is way more important~! Somehow the whole situation turns into one where they both fight over Ririko XD)

Before Ririko gets tired and faded off to sleep again, she heard Minato telling Mizuki that because she likes Ririko, it further leads onto her liking him as well, and thus wished that they won’t break up suddenly like that... (I thought they aren’t even at the dating stage yet...?)

Ririko, later on, felt hot and that her clothes were drenched with sweat. She felt something cold on her neck and opened her eyes. It was Mizuki, who was touching her neck with his fingers, as he continued on to unbutton all her buttons on her clothes, telling her that he’s going to remove them since she was sweating badly. (Erm? Guy did you just casually strip a girl just like that? o.O) He grabbed a towel and wiped her body with no expression on his face, but later on, his expression turned to one that was filled with nervousness, and Ririko could sense that his hands were shaking. 

It was then Ririko realised that perhaps Mizuki might like her romantically, and felt her tears started falling even though she didn’t know why. Mizuki removed her entire shirt, and then get on top of her after getting his own clothes off. (Welp, it’s going down the forbidden route once again. OAO)

Mizuki apologised to Ririko that he can’t restrain himself, and assured her that he would let her enjoy this time around, and to close her eyes if she didn’t want to see him doing it (as if just closing the eyes will work?!) Starting with the foreplay and removing her bottoms, Mizuki told her that he likes Ririko and didn’t want to give her up to anyone else. Even though Ririko wanted to deny it, she felt good being touched by Mizuki, and before she knew it, she was stretching out her arms to him. Mizuki kissed all over her body, making Ririko went into orgasm and continuing from there, the two have sex, even though Ririko found herself crying and begging Mizuki not to do it since they’re siblings. Mizuki tried to assure Ririko that this was all a dream she’s having now since she had a fever, and everything will return to normal the next day, with them avoiding each other again...

In the midst of it, Mizuki suddenly felt like kissing Ririko and thus get off from her (initially he was lying on top of her with her back facing him). Ririko felt guilty that she actually sensed her body longing for him when he’s away from her. She kept thinking that what they’re doing was wrong, and it would destroy Mizuki’s future if they continued, as they were barely even twenty years old. 

Mizuki turned her to face him and kissed her passionately while penetrating her again. She refused to kiss him though and told him that it’s because of his “massage” that she felt good, and asked him to quickly cum since she just wanted to send all of this with him. However, he didn’t give up, and continued on, even laughing at himself for not having sex with Ririko any earlier, since their room was just next to each other, which means the distance between him and her was just a wall away. Ririko thought about how their relationship had developed from siblings who were avoiding each other to siblings who were having sex together, and wondered which of these relationships are “correct”. But before she could come to an answer, Mizuki cummed into her and told her that he loves her. Ririko rebutted that she hated him, but deep down she knew that she still loves him (as a brother), and wondered why Mizuki had chosen to go down such a path, rather than them being close siblings like how it was in the past...

(I don’t know... this entire part felt like r*pe since Mizuki is taking this chance while Ririko was sick D: Somehow maybe this was why he was so insistent on chasing Minato home. Ririko’s mind might somehow be affected with all the brainwashing Mizuki is giving her while she’s still having a fever. Guys, please don’t do this type of things to a patient D:) 

It was the next morning when Ririko awoke. (Saturday - Their parents will arrive home on Sunday) She felt physically much better and was about to reach for her phone to contact Itoh when she realised that Mizuki was still asleep next to her on the bed.

(He can still look like an angel when he’s asleep, but when he’s awake he’s like a devil TAT)

Mizuki soon awoke and asked Ririko if she had felt better, which Ririko dissed that her lower part of her body is still in pain (so how ironic of Mizuki to ask her that when it’s his fault). He smiled in reply and told her to stay home and rest since he would be back before one, but when Ririko told him that she’s meeting Itoh, he frowned and told her that she’s being duped by Itoh, reminding her that Itoh’s confession was all just part of the punishment game they had. It was revealed that Itoh had to choose between he lying to Ririko or Mizuki duping his younger sister and to protect his younger sister from getting hurt, he chose to confess to Ririko instead. Ririko replied that she had already known all of that, and Itoh had told her that his feelings for her was real, and was in fact pissed off that Mizuki had let her be duped when compared to Itoh who had to protect his sister.

(For those who want some eye candy of Mizuki in this outfit~)

Mizuki frowned as he revealed that he had thought that Ririko would reject Itoh when he confessed since he knew that Ririko initially showed no interest to Itoh even the guys were friends for years. (He even said that Ririko might dislike guys who are tall and good-looking... are you talking about yourself? =w=“) But after he had seen Ririko and Itoh in bed, Mizuki started to panic. Now that there was no need for him to pull back anymore and avoid Ririko, Mizuki hoped that Ririko would break up with Itoh, saying that it’s not like Ririko was in love with the latter anyway. (But erm... I think Ririko had some feelings for Itoh already at this point of time OWO”) Ririko rebutted that she likes Itoh and Mizuki had no say in her relationship on who she must break up with. 

That pissed Mizuki off, as he taunted Ririko on what she’s going to do now, tell Itoh that she and her brother had sex? That made Ririko cry, as she doesn’t get what exactly Mizuki wanted to get out of a relationship with her. Seeing her break down made Mizuki smiled again, as he reminded her that she was already “dirtied” by him and that if she had told what had happened to Itoh, Itoh will break up with her, and thus she would be his. (Ughhh I want to punch Mizuki so badly~~~) Ririko kept crying and claimed that she didn’t want all of this to happen, begging Mizuki to return to how he was before. Mizuki smirked and asked her that by wanting him to return to how he was before, did she mean the Mizuki that she was always avoiding and somehow not even in her sight at all? He insisted that the reason why Ririko had avoided him was that she regretted seeing Mizuki in bed with another woman and felt hatred. Ririko denied of that being the reason, though she realised that other than being afraid of her brother who had become a man before her at that time, there seems to be another reason which she can’t remember.

In the end, Ririko urged him to get out of the house for soccer practices, telling him that she wished that he would stop destroying his image in her since the Mizuki that she remembered puts soccer above everything. Reluctantly, Mizuki left, leaving Ririko alone. Ririko longed to meet Itoh, but she knew that she can’t meet him now. Itoh contacted her later on and asked to come and visit her, but she rejected him in the end. She didn’t want to stay at home since she dreads waiting for Mizuki to return home, though she had no idea where she should go since at the end of the day she still needs to return home.

Finally, at 10am, a message from Minato arrived. She was glad to hear that Ririko was feeling better, and let her know that Mizuki and she aren’t dating anymore. Ririko felt apologetic towards her, but there was nothing she could do to even comfort her about. She now wished that Mizuki would pair up with Minato and that she would give them her blessings if that were to happen. But this was not possible, as Ririko now knew that Minato wasn’t even in Mizuki’s heart at all.

Suddenly, Ririko remembered the person that Mizuki had dated just before he broke up - a senpai who was a year older than them, Ezaki Mana. It was rumoured that Mana was the one who dumped Mizuki, and thus Ririko guessed she must be the reason that causes Mizuki’s heartbreak. After some asking around regarding Ezaki Senpai, Ririko get to know that she was practising at the rooftop since she belongs to the Wind Ensemble Club. 

Sneaking off to school around noon, Ririko switched off her phone since Mizuki had called her (and she refused to answer it). She found Ezaki Senpai at the rooftop just as she expected, and asked her whether she wanted to get back into a relationship with Mizuki. (Is it alright to ask things that straightforward? OWO)  However, Ezaki replied that even though she had wanted to be with Mizuki, unfortunately getting back together was impossible. She initially didn’t want to reveal the reason, but in the end, let out the fact that Mizuki was actually very bad at sex with her. (Hmmm??!!! So how did Mizuki get that good yesterday? O.o) Ezaki had guessed that Mizuki perhaps had someone else he’s interested in, since his penis can’t even get up when they’re having sex together, and thus... they broke up. (Well, that’s actually a very reasonable reason for breaking up I guess) (Poor Ririko is probably aghast that the person that Mizuki was said to be interested in... was herself D:)

Even though Ririko begged for Ezaki to give another thought and patch up with Mizuki, she ultimately decided not to, since it was something she was unable to forgive Mizuki about in the first place. She gave his next relationship her blessings since she had spotted Mizuki walking home with another girl earlier on. Ririko deduced from Ezaki’s observation that the girl was Minato, and began to worry on what Mizaki would tell Minato about. As she rushed down to catch up to Mizuki and Minato, she switched on her phone and found two messages, one from Minato telling her that she’s meeting up with Mizuki to talk over their matter again, and the other from Itoh, who told her he really wanted to meet her today. 

Ririko replied to Itoh that she can’t meet him for today, and got a phone call from him asking where she was since Minato and he were both already with Mizuki at her house. She gave an excuse that she went out to buy the game she had wanted to buy, which Itoh accepted it easily and asked her to return home quickly. She, later on, got yet another phone call from Mizuki, asking her to return soon too, since he’s looking forward to “playing” with her, and thus wanted Ririko to stay at home tonight. (I could feel goosebumps on my arms already ><”) Ririko guessed from the messages that it means that Mizuki wanted to have sex again as it would be the last night before their parents return home. 

Ririko felt depressed, revealing her thoughts that she wants to die through the phone to Mizuki, but the latter was unaffected and even offered to kill her if she had wanted it. Ririko was pissed and asked that Mizuki should be the one to die instead, which he agreed easily though he said that he would definitely die before Ririko’s sight. Ririko told Mizuki that she really doesn’t want to return home, only to get a threat from Mizuki that if she didn’t return by three, he would tell what that had happened to Minato and Itoh (Woah... that’s harsh since she could lose both her boyfriend and best friend altogether). In the end, Ririko had no choice but to agreed to go home, on the terms that Mizuki urged the other two to leave their house by the time she returned since she really was in no mood to meet them.

When Ririko rushed home, she was relieved to see both Minato and Itoh had left. Ririko asked to be left alone when she saw Mizuki, but the latter just urged her to break up with Itoh (Damn Mizuki you sure are annoying), which in the end Ririko decided to just send Itoh a message that their relationship was over. (Initially, Mizuki even demanded her to call Itoh and tell him, which frankly speaking, it’s going to be heartbreaking for Ririko to do that. Why are you so mean Mizuki?!!)  

Mizuki even followed Ririko into her room, and she told him that she had met up with Ezaki Senpai today, up to the point of what she had known about Mizuki’s body. Mizuki wasn’t affected by what Ririko had dug up about him though, coolly revealing the fact that none of the girls he had dated with was able to satisfy him. Only Ririko was what he had wanted, and guessed that perhaps Ezaki Senpai had already sensed that his heart wasn’t on her which is why they broke up. (Yep, so Mizuki getting his heartbroken after he broke up with Ezaki was definitely not true. Guy just seems like he doesn’t care about that now.)

Ririko told him that she’s rejecting him and that what he’s doing now was stalkerish (asking her where she is, demanding and threatening her to come to him etc.), but Mizuki simply smirked and taunted her to make a police report about it. (Since Ririko felt very not confident about herself and always look up to Mizuki as the one who had better looks and height, she guessed that no one would believe her if she revealed what had happened to her and that she might be sent to the mental hospital instead. I feel bad for Ririko, it’s really unhealthy to be so not confident to the point that she even worried that no one would see her as a victim.)

However, Ririko believed that their parents would think the best for her and told Mizuki that she would request to live far away from him. Mizuki sighed as he knew that there’s no way to convince Ririko to be his lover, and just silently took off his clothes and pushing her onto the bed. (.... Is that the only thing you can do?!! *Sigh*)

(Mizuki really looks very evil here ><”)

As he got on top of her on the bed, Mizuki revealed that he actually hates himself for how he behaved yesterday and today, but he felt suffocated and pain in his heart, calling Ririko his sister and asking her to help him. But Ririko replied that he didn’t seem to be suffering at all, and had been doing what he likes with her all this while. Mizuki was sure that Ririko must have realised something when she saw him having sex with other girls in the past, and that was why she had been avoiding him since then, but she could not understand how that incident would link to him liking her romantically, even blaming Mizuki being the reason that she dislikes guys later on. Mizuki did not buy that reason though and kept insisting that Ririko must have known that he likes her at that time, that the girl he was having sex with was a replacement of herself, since... he actually let Ririko caught him in the act on purpose at that time. (What?!!! So the entire thing was planned by Mizuki O.O”) 

Ririko thought back to what had happened three years ago. It was the summer vacation, and as she was eating ice cream in the house when she heard someone panting inside the bedroom that no one was supposed to be in it. She wondered whether Mizuki had brought his friends back home, and when she opened the bedroom door, she was shocked to see Mizuki shirtless with another girl in the room. The bedroom that Mizuki was in was actually Ririko’s bedroom, that has no lock, and thus it was weird that why Mizuki wasn’t doing that in his own bedroom, which has a lock that he could have some privacy in. This was the reason why Ririko had avoided Mizuki after that, since she had seen Mizuki trying to have sex with another girl in her bedroom, on her bed, and somehow knew that Mizuki was pretending the girl was herself while doing that. She cried and told Mizuki that she could only choose to ignore him after knowing that truth since there’s no way they could be lovers as they were siblings. 

Mizuki told Ririko not to run away from him, and look at him as a man. Though while Ririko had thought of her brother as a very charming and attractive man, she knew that it would be unfortunate to fall in love with her brother, and thus did not even bother to think about that ever since. Mizuki asked her once again whether she likes him as a man or not, which Ririko thought that she actually prefers Itoh rather than him (and even thought that Mizuki must be shameless to think all girls will like him or prefer him more than Itoh. Guess Ririko still has a crush on Itoh~) She rebutted that she doesn’t like him romantically nor will like him that way forever. 

Mizuki smiled as he knew that there’s really no way to convince Ririko to see him the way he sees her since Ririko would forever think that siblings can’t become lovers. He had initially wanted to hide his feelings and live that way forever for the sake of their parents, but now that he’s suffering so bad, he didn’t want to hide them anymore. Ririko told him that he’s just being a narcissist by liking her since they’re alike and it would be like him loving himself. (Oops, in a way that sounds kind of true.) Mizuki knew that and revealed that he really hates that the blood that flows in him was the same as Ririko’s since all he wanted was to able to declare his love for her out loud. In the end, he gave up on wanting to get Ririko’s heart, and just went for her body instead...

As Mizuki gave her kiss marks all over her body, Ririko cried and decided that she didn’t want to care about these kiss marks left on her anymore, now that she had already broken up with Itoh, and she would probably not be able to get into a relationship with anyone anymore, even wanting to die even more now. (That really sounds so sad and depressing.) 

Later on, Mizuki even suggested that they should have sex again since he wanted to be with her until the morning, which Ririko dissed him that all he’s thinking of was about sex. (How horny is this guy? =w=“) Mizuki taunted her whether she was going to kill him, but Ririko replied that she can’t even stop Mizuki from touching her, and thus knew that she would be unable to kill him if she wants to. Instead, she decided that she shall disappear (meaning she’ll die) before him. Mizuki showed a sad face and told her that he won’t live either if she had died, and Ririko rebutted that why not both of them just die together. (Woah, guess even Ririko is going off to the crazy side) Even though Mizuki initially thought that was a good idea, he soon shook his head and told Ririko that he wants her to continue living happily (do you think that can still happen after what you’ve done?!), and he shall be the only one who dies instead. Ririko noticed that Mizuki had a really lonely expression on his face as he said that. With that, Mizuki left the room, leaving Ririko by herself, which led her to wonder perhaps her nightmare will end for today. Their parents are coming back tomorrow, and since her mother will be at home most of the time, it would be hard for Mizuki to lay his hands on her again.

Ririko noticed that the time was 5pm, and decided that she shall start making dinner even though she didn’t have much of an appetite and didn’t really want to eat with Mizuki either. Even though Mizuki had done terrible things to her, she still treats him as a brother and knew that their mother will get angry if Mizuki wasn’t well taken care of and have his meals. 

As Ririko stepped out of the room, she noticed that there was no sound coming from Mizuki’s room at all, and wondered perhaps he was asleep. Just then, a stream of blood started flowing out from Mizuki’s room, which made Ririko panicked. What exactly had happened in Mizuki’s room? She grabbed onto the doorknob and tried to open the door, but the room was locked. She hurriedly knocked onto the door, calling for Mizuki to come out for dinner, hoping that her brother’s appearance will erase the fear she had in mind. But... there was no answer, as the blood continued to flow out from under his door...

Ririko remembered that she was the one who had said she wanted to die, and thus couldn’t understand why Mizuki turned out to be the one who committed suicide by himself all alone and locking himself in the room. The thought of Mizuki dying led Ririko to believe that she was the one who had killed him (since she believed that without his obsession over her, he might continue to live on a normal life), though that also meant that she would be free from Mizuki forever. However, she wasn’t happy about the freedom she gained, and all she could do for the rest of the day was to tremble and drenched herself in tears...

Omake

What you’ve read above is actually just the main story route and the first ending of this game~ This game has five endings in total, which I’ll write the playthrough for the remaining four in a later post. 

There’s an omake in the game, which is pretty much like a backstage talk, where Mizuki will make an appearance and talks about the various endings and what the author had thought when she (I think it’s a female) wrote the story. 

The first ending is pretty much the most normal and says... expected ending of this game. (I unknowingly reached this on my first run since I was both nice to Itoh and Mizuki, yet chooses not to rely on Itoh and rejected Mizuki’s feelings at the various option. These choices were logical to me when I self-insert myself in Ririko, but now that I look back at it, choices like this were why I wasn’t able to go into either character’s ending D:) This was also the first ending that the author had thought of when she wrote the story. 

Mizuki explained that this is what was considered a “default” bad ending, where his first-sided love for Ririko was never accepted, and thus he decided to end his life since he couldn’t see a future anymore. Initially, a love-hate relationship was planned for this ending, but Mizuki affirmed that he won’t do anything that will hurt Ririko. (Guess the author initially wanted to write even more horrible things done by Mizuki... D:)

(There was this part where Mizuki talked about his sexual experience, and he revealed that he actually had sex with Minato on Ririko’s bed, and guessed that it was successful since it turned out that he’s okay doing it with anyone as long as it was on Ririko’s bed =w=“ It was noted that it doesn’t seem to be Minato’s first time in sex anyway, and revealed that Minato had dated her elder brother’s friend before so... yeah you can guess where her past experience came from.)

Talking about an elder brother, Mizuki noted that Itoh was an elder brother in his family, but felt interesting that he was fond of Ririko, who had the vibe of an elder sister (well, it would be kind of weird if he became a sis-con for younger sister). Mizuki wondered maybe he won’t be such a spoiled guy in the story if he was the elder brother instead.

That’s all for Part 1 of this playthrough~ Next up will be Part 2, where I’ll play through the rest of the endings for this game~ +W+

[arachcobra]

Naruto Episode 11 & 12 Review

Got PTSD? Just walk it off, you baby.

Review of Naruto Episode 11 and 12: The Land Where a Hero Once Lived and Battle on the Bridge! Zabuza Returns!

ArachCobra

So in this one, we start out with having Sakura guard Tazuna on the bridge, all alone. I'm just like, what? Apparently, it's because Kakashi is still not feeling well and Naruto and Sasuske are still struggling with the tree climbing things. So they do try to explain it. But the problem here is that there is no fucking way Kakashi can know when Zabuza will be back. Yeah, he can make an estimate based on the guy's injuries, but he doesn't know if Zabuza has some super healing ninja in his employ. For all he knows, Zabuza is heading for the bridge at a speed of mach fuck you right that very instant.

He isn't and Sakura is not gruesomely cut into confetti, but that's just because Zabuza has no easy way to recover. But this is still very risky.

Also, Tazuna calls Sakura lazy for yawning, which I feel is entirely uncalled for. Some guy named Giichi feels working on the bridge is getting too risky, so he quits, with Tazuna yelling at him.

Later, Sakura and Tazuna goes shopping and we get to see just how badly Gato has ruined the Land of Waves. It's an admittedly effective scene.

This is then ruined by the dinner scene where Sasuke and Naruto are shoveling down food so fast they have to puke. Hey, assholes, people are starving right now. Least you could do is respect the food you're given by not choking on it, just because you have to prove you're better than each other. Seriously, this is not team work. Time and time again we see this competition between Naruto and Sasuke makes them take quite frankly idiotic decisions that are detrimental for the team as a whole. Kakashi should get his act together and tell the two of them to get their shit together.

And then Sakura stares at a slightly damaged photo on the wall and Odysseus, the dialogue. To paraphrase Sakura: “There's a picture here. But it's torn. How did it get torn? It seems very important. The one who tore it must have had some sort of reason. I wonder why.” Honestly, most likely explanation is that Kakashi noticed the plot point hanging on the wall and asked Sakura to point it out until someone would say something and move the story along.

So then we get the tale of Kaiza. About how he saved Inari from drowning thanks to a trio of child bullies straight out of a Stephen King story. About how he saved the village when the floodgate broke. It's an interesting story, but made kinda silly by being punctuated by so much overly dramatic music and flowery language about how Kaiza: “Taught people the meaning of the word courage.”

And then Gato has Kaiza tortured by a group of goons before publicly executing him.

How... How can he do that? Is there no government in the Land of Waves? How did he get so powerful that he can execute people? In front of a large crowd of people even. In front of the guy's family. Did he buy out the government? How does that work? I mean, have him killed, yeah, that I can imagine, but publicly executing him for disturbing the order of the land? Kinda ridiculous.

And that's why Inari doesn't believe in heroes. Naruto goes out to train because he wants to show Inari that heroes do exists.

Neat.

For the next episode, let me just start by complaining about the title. It's called Zabuza Returns and Battle on the Bridge, but that's a fabrication at best. Zabuza and Haku show up at the very end of the episode and there is no battle on the titular bridge. Its just misleading.

Anyway, Haku crossdresses and meets Naruto in the forest and they exchange some awkward dialogue about having someone important. And that only by having someone important will you be strong. I guess that really depends on one's definition of strength, so I'm not gonna harp on that too much.

Anyway, tree climbing continues and Sasuke and Naruto returns, sweating, panting and covered in dirt. If you told me that's because they decided to celebrate with a victory quickie in the bushes, I'd believe you. These two really do come off as if they have some closeted feelings for each other.

Anyway, Inari says its all futile and Naruto calls him a coward and a crybaby.

Yeah, doesn't matter that the kid is traumatized by the death of his father and the decline of his country, while constantly having to worry that any day now, his grandfather will be slaughtered. Doesn't matter that this constant oppressive atmosphere of fear and futility has made him a nervous wreck with PTSD. Just get over it, kid. Anything else is cowardice.

In case it isn't obvious, I find this scene kinda sickening and insensitive.

Now, Kakashi says that Naruto didn't say anything he hadn't already told himself and that Naruto has suffered too. Well, great. Two problems. One, Naruto has not gone through the exact same scenario as Inari and even if he had, he'd probably have reacted differently, because people are different. He has no right to demand that Inari ”gets over it.” Second issue, from a narrative point, how bad did Naruto have it? We have some general ideas that he was excluded and people looked down on him, but it hasn't really been elaborated upon. We're just told Naruto has it bad and that's it. So here, the story trips over itself trying to justify Naruto yelling at a traumatized kid who's not even had a chance to properly grieve and get over the soul-shattering losses he's experienced.

To put it mildly, it doesn't really work. No matter how much the show insists that Naruto understands Inari's pain.

Anyway, next day, Zabuza shows up, Naruto is late and Gato's henchmen are getting ready to kidnap Tsunami and Inari. Oh, who's Tsunami? Inari's mother. She's been around for three episodes, but does very little. I think we only learned her name this very last episode in fact.

Shame. You'd think somebody with the name Tsunami would be a character you should keep an eye on.

Anyway, first episode works just fine. Second one dragged down by Naruto's treatment of Inari. Seriously, that's not okay.

Givenea

Inari, grandson of Tazuna takes over the role as awesomest character, for telling Naruto how dumb he is.

We then learn that Inari has lost all hope because a business tycoon turned his homeland into a dictatorship, everyone is starving and poor and his stepfather (who was the most amazing dad ever) was executed by said tycoon for trying to make things better.

Then Naruto calls him whiny.

Yup, Inari, an eight-year-old, who has lost his freedom and security and is struggling to cope with the loss of the only father he ever knew, is whiny. And Naruto is the right character to set him straight, because… a few people sneered at him…?

That’s all we’ve seen… Let me elaborate.

Back in episode 1, the big bad, Mizuki informs Naruto (and the audience) that Naruto is shunned and hated by the villagers because he is the container of the nine tailed fox. But this doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.

Within the first episode we see Naruto be chased down by ninjas, sneered at by his classmates and some random women and conned by Mizuki into stealing secret information.

This is not bad; it sets up that there is bad blood in between at least some villagers and Naruto. Next step would be to reinforce this idea over the next few episodes while establishing a norm for Naruto’s day to day life in Konoha. Naruto does runs into trouble with villagers a bunch of times within the first two episodes but only once or twice is their scorn unprovoked on his part. Going over them in order:

Episode 1:

Chased by ninja: He committed vandalism and skipped school. - Was punished by having to clean up his mess.

Sneered at by classmates - Because he mouthed off, they all had to redo a test.

Sneered by random women – Apparently unprovoked. Could be viewed to refer to the fox

Conned by Mizuki – Because he had the fox, Mizuki figured he could get away with it, taking advantage of him while he was vulnerable.

Episode2

Scolded by the Hokage – Naruto screwed up his ID and mouthed off.

Beaten by random woman – She was angry over Konohamaru’s botched transformation, unprovoked, but also nothing to do with the fox.

Thrown out of bookstore – Clerk did not allow reading before buying, had every right to toss them out.

Beaten by women in the bath - After attempting to sneak in and peep on them. They also immediately recognize, not only that Naruto and Konohamaru are transformed, but one also cries out: “Naruto, you again?”. Giving the distinct impression that this is a common occurrence.

Fight with Ebisu – while Ebisu does refer to Naruto as a fox, he seems far more miffed at Naruto taking Konohamaru all over town and distracting him from his training.

Ok, two things

Most people do not seem to care about the fox, whatsoever. They are instead reacting to Naruto’s actions, which are annoying at best and criminal at worst.

Nobody really seems to hate Naruto enough to step in and stop him from hanging out with the Hokage’s grandson. If Naruto was really shunned to the point we are supposed to believe, wouldn’t they try to save Konohamaru from the monster they believe the blond brat to be?

So while some people have treated Naruto pretty harshly, the whole thing fails in setting him up as an outcast through no doing of his own. It also fails at putting him through anything even remotely as bad as what Inari has suffered. So, when Kakashi later try to smooth things over, and encourage Inari, by explaining Naruto’s hardships and saying he got tired of whining and decided to do something about it, it falls flat.

Not only that, but when did Naruto ever stop whining? He pouts like a child whenever he doesn’t get his way.

Moving along.

After learning the tree-lesson instantly, last episode, Sakura is put on guard duty… well, it needs to be done, but couldn’t Kakashi have given her some other training since she’s ahead of the curve here? Not to mention, what is she gonna do if Zabuza or one of his people shows up? She is one lone genin, who has barely started her training as such. He, even wounded, is a highly trained jonin and we know that he has at least Haku to help him out.

Could be that this is just Kakashi’s way of paying lip service to doing this job.

So, Tazuna calls her lazy… I haven’t the foggiest why. After having lied to her superiors and then guilted her team into staying on a mission they are in no way qualified for, he should understand that just showing up is going above and beyond what anyone could expect from them.

So I guess these episodes are just here to make everyone look bad.

Oh yeah, and then Zabuza and Haku shows up.

Fluttersniper13

Sasuke and Naruto are having a dick measuring competition, Sakura is useless, family issues all over the place, Gato is god and everything is miserable. So, the usual shit.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13125294/8/Naruto-Rewrite-1-Road-to-Ninja

[thatsrightdollface]

KamiHaji Week Prompt Two: “Family Day”

Her Family (Chosen)

As a part of Nanami’s chosen family, it probably makes sense Mizuki winds up looking after her kid some of the time.  Like today, for example.  Nanami’s son is in the school play, and Mizuki’s supposed to record it for when she and Tomoe get back from a trip!  

Ships: Mizuki/Nanami Momozono (unrequited)...  BUT ALSO Mizuki & Nanami Momozono (warm and supportive friends!!!) Tomoe/Nanami Momozono

Post-Canon.  About 2,000 words.  G Rating.

Here, have an Ao3 link! :D

Back when Mizuki had tended his first goddess’s shrine – back when he’d only ever served that Lady Yonomori, the playful and radiant force he’d been dreamt up and hatched for – he’d never expected to be called anybody’s “uncle.”  He’d been busy with sacred sake and dipping long, impossibly pale fingers into the cold of river water, whispering it clean and bright again. He’d had his place; he’d calmed storms and helped his goddess fish drowning humans out of the deep whenever they tumbled in somehow.  Humans had seemed baffled and shivering to Mizuki, on the whole, back then.  They were funny and quick-lived, afraid of so many things.  That was okay!  Mizuki was there to protect, of course.  They gave his goddess offerings and sang her praises, so of course he was there to protect.

               Lady Yonomori and the shrine spirits had been all the family Mizuki had ever wanted, before their shrine was drowned. Everything else had been so, so far away.  

               Not anymore.  Mizuki actually was an uncle now, apparently, and it was a human girl’s child who had named him that. Well, a human girl and the former wild fox who had somehow snuck his claws between her ribs and fished out a heart (metaphorically, of course.)  Nanami Momozono, and that Tomoe who’d shed his twitchy fox ears not too long ago.  It was important to Mizuki, being something like Nanami’s family.  Her son could call him whatever he wanted, to a point.  

               (The boy’s father did put some weird, less-flattering nickname ideas in his head, now and then, but Nanami tended to stomp those right out.  Mizuki was always a little dazzled when she stood up for him, especially considering he’d been getting the kid to call his father some strange things, too.  Oops!

               … She kind of stood up for everybody, though, that Nanami.  It was just one of those amazing things about her, like the way she tossed her head back laughing or managed to draw all of them close together again and again and again.)

               Mizuki imagined Lady Yonomori would’ve been happy for him, now. She might’ve teased him gently, too, seeing her familiar flopped over watching human television or reciting back equally human names in pieces of gossip he’d remembered Nanami telling him. To make it clear he was keeping up with things, you know.  Nanami Momozono had been a land god when Mizuki met her, but she was as human as they came beneath all that holy glow.  And now she was human all the way through, though she didn’t feel far away at all.  Not the way humans always had before Mizuki’d really gotten to know any of them, anyway… And especially not now that she’d come back from her journeys in the mortal world.  Nanami’d finally come back to the Mikage Shrine, where she’d been a goddess, once. Back into Mizuki’s day-to-day life, so that imagining the hallways and gardens without her felt like imagining them without air.

               If Nanami didn’t want to kiss Mizuki and curl up under the fold of his arm at night, starlight cold on their skin…  (His scales, when you got down to it.  His scales and her soft, tangled hair) … That was alright.  Of course, it had to be alright.  But he was still in family portraits, sometimes, now.  Nanami tugged him around by his sleeve, back-to-school shopping for her little boy.  She helped him weed the shrine’s gardens, chatting with him and telling stories about what working in a daycare had been like.  What the strangest things about renting an apartment had been; how much she’d missed him, her friend, her former familiar.  Her family.

               “You promise?” Mizuki had asked, the first time she’d said it.  That bit about missing him, not only sometimes but like a constant hum, like the way she carried her shadow around.  He really hoped his voice sounded coy instead of whiny, at least so far as Nanami was concerned.  Whatever Tomoe might’ve said about it didn’t matter so much.  (Mizuki could just imagine what Tomoe would say about his insecurities, honestly, and whatever it was would make him gasp in offense and exclaim, “Ah, Fox!  You’re horrible!” or something pretty much like that.  That was the way their game went, you know.)

               It was just that Nanami had been gone a long, long time.  It was just that she’d chosen to go and make her own mortal way, and there was nothing he could do to stop her aging.  To stop her leaving, again, and sooner than she probably realized.

               “Absolutely I promise,” Nanami had said, even so.  “Aw, don’t look so surprised.  Coming back here was coming home, and you’re a part of that, Mizuki.”

               Mizuki’s hands had been muddy from the garden, at that point, so he’d tipped his head over just a bit and rested it against Nanami’s shoulder.  He’d said something sweet and sing-song, and then something about how he’d even come visit her in a thousand smelly, too-fast human cities if he needed to.  He’d ride taxis, and climb underground to battle with trains.  Nanami was so, so warm, there in the garden, with a bit of dirt smudged on her cheek and a slight wind fiddling with her hair.  She was so, so warm just about all the time.  Mizuki was coldblooded, of course, and sometimes he wondered if he was almost jealous of the way age and smiles had started to show just a little at the edge of Tomoe’s eyes.  

               Tomoe was human now, too, strangely enough, and together all that mortal blood warmed up the shrine in a way Mizuki didn’t think they could really know.  That used-to-be-fox was still so handsome, Nanami said, and so it had to be true.  Unfortunately.

               Nanami’s little son wore human school uniforms, already – he was growing up so fast! – and waved to spirits very politely on the road whatever else his classmates thought.  He was a loud kid, and generous like his mom…  And prone to grumpy, fastidious moods like his dad, too. Mizuki was just about to bring him to his school’s class play, though of course doing something like that would’ve felt impossibly human, once.  Just like helping with an elementary school science project would’ve been impossibly human, and quizzing the little guy on dates for history exams, and smuggling him some money to buy trading cards.  Apparently that was all “uncle” stuff, and Mizuki was trying his best. As long as he had a place in the family – and he would, Nanami had promised him, a hand on his back and the garden all around them – he was gonna try his best.

               And now… Nanami and Tomoe were out of town helping set up for a mutual friend’s wedding.  It wasn’t really strange at all, working to keep things running while they were away.  Mizuki had babysat for this kid so many times that the teachers already knew him as they made their way to the school auditorium.  People greeted him very nearly by name: “Mr. Yonomori,” they said, like they knew he was carrying his first goddess’s shrine with him even now. Carrying his purpose with him, as he smiled with fangs most people couldn’t see.  They didn’t know that, though, of course.  They only knew the way Tomoe had grudgingly introduced him, saying he was a half-brother or something else that would explain their matching pale hair.  

               Maybe Mizuki had never expected to be anyone’s uncle – and he hadn’t, cross his river-cold heart – but he’d signed off on school permission slips for this kid before.  He was pretty good at a few of the video games the boy liked, and conceded gracefully whenever he lost at all those other ones.  He knew a fair bit more about popular kids’ cartoons than most familiars who gathered at the Divine Assembly, though to be fair those other familiars probably didn’t get assigned babysitting duty nearly as often as he did.

               It wasn’t as if Mizuki minded, of course. This was part of being Nanami’s family, so…  There you go. This was part of being trusted, and belonging somewhere beyond a waterlogged shrine he’d lost too, too long before.  Mizuki was going to record the whole show on a borrowed video camera, so Nanami and Tomoe could see it when they got back.  He’d helped their son practice his lines on the way over to the school – chirping them back and forth along the road, balancing an umbrella so it successfully shielded both the boy and that video camera from the rain.  Mizuki preferred walking in the rain, honestly. It traced cryptic patterns across his cheek, and the sky was milky pale and looked soft – softer than the school auditorium seats would be, anyway.  Those things squeaked, always, and the scratchy fabric of them felt like old carpet.  Mizuki’d been by for the school’s talent show already, and an incredibly long seminar he and Nanami’d had to keep prodding each other awake through about Fostering Positive Study Habits at Home.

               Nanami’s son walked Mizuki to his seat before scurrying back behind the curtain to get ready for the show.  He had costumes to put on – the Huntsman who got the Big Bad Wolf in one act, Mizuki knew for sure.  (And he’d make sure Tomoe got the irony of that just as soon as he could manage it.)  The kid had friends to greet, too, and juice boxes to fish out of the drama teacher’s cooler.  He’d probably have to sign his name somewhere to check in, or something, though if he forgot Mizuki would just slither back in later and forge it for him.  No big deal.  

               But before he went, Nanami’s son perched in the chair next to Mizuki’s, swinging his shoes against the seat in front of them. His eyebrows were scrunched up a little, like Nanami’s had gotten sometimes when she was digging her way through an especially frustrating pile of homework.  Like they got sometimes, now, too, when she was concerned about a parking ticket she’d gotten, or trying to figure out where in any of the realms she could’ve lost her purse.  You know, the cute one with the pastel flowers.  It had everything in it!  

               “Hey, what’s wrong?” Mizuki asked, hoping to smooth the poor kid’s expression out at least a little bit.  This wasn’t the sort of voice he would’ve used calling to a human floundering in the cold fast river running by Yonomori Shrine, mind you.  He wasn’t wearing an especially beatific smile; he wasn’t about to offer a goddess’s blessing, or reveal any of his true water snake-ish identity there in the elementary school.  This was an easy, gentle voice, though, and one that came so naturally to him, now.  Uncle Mizuki.  Mr. Yonomori.  The child had never known him as anything but this.  

               “Do you think I’ll mess up?” Nanami’s little boy asked. “I have a lot of lines, near the end. Do you think I’ve got them all?”

               Mizuki nodded, very seriously.  “Oh, yes,” he said.  

               “You promise?” Nanami’s son asked, then, and in that moment…  Despite how their blood was nothing alike, despite how quickly humans changed and moved on from that world…  Mizuki thought he heard a lot of his own voice, there, mirrored back to him. Something the child had learned. Learned from family, right?  From someone Nanami had chosen, in whatever context she’d chosen him.  From someone she’d prepared extra food for before leaving on her trip – though of course she knew he could hunt for himself, and probably wouldn’t try feeding her child any squirming lizards again – and someone she worried over when he got sick, and someone she might’ve been missing even right that second.

               “Of course,” Mizuki assured the kid. “There’s no doubt in my mind.”

               They linked pinkies on that one – a sort of promise, as Mizuki understood it.  The solemn vow of the human classroom, or something like that.  Nanami’s child always looked very stern, making vows.

               Back when Mizuki had tended his first goddess’s shrine – back when he’d only ever served that Lady Yonomori and had imagined she would be his whole world for all eternity – Mizuki had thought he’d known what any sort of family he could ever have would look like.  He knew a bit better now, though, didn’t he?  Maybe Lady Yonomori herself wouldn’t have been too surprised, imagining him here.  Maybe she would’ve smiled, sort of sad, sort of proud.  

               Maybe she would’ve reminded him to call out, “Ah! Remember to wave for the camera, too! Just a little wave.  Let’s make sure your mom knows you thought about her, okay?” or something, before Nanami’s son hurried too far out of earshot.

               Mizuki liked to think she would’ve reminded him, you know?

@kamisamahajimemashita

[sarah--writes-blog]

OC Relations

Anon: Ayyy you're the best! I'd like to know more about their relationships with each other. Like, who's really close, who liiiiiiikes who, who maybe doesn't get along, etc. :3

(Cracks knuckles) This is  going to be under the cut, because I got six people living together and they each have five people to form opinions about. HERE WE GO!

Roxanne

Damian

She was his introduction into the new housing situation, something like a mentor to get him started. He reminds her a lot of her little brother, but doesn’t treat him as if he were younger. She has a huge soft spot for him in the most platonic way. Will protect him with her life.

Mizuki

Really likes Zuki! She can be a little energetic and joking in times that might need more seriousness, but always enjoys her company. They started the apartment situation to begin with.

Luka

There was a week or two when she was pining for Luka. But after a while, it wore off and they became good friends. There are still moments where he’ll smile in just the right way that she’ll swoon.

Anette

These two don’t get along entirely well. They’re on opposite sides of the personality spectrum. She tries to do her best and tolerate Net’s more wild side, but it’s hard.

Joshua

Sees Josh as an older brother of sorts. Goes to him for advice when she can’t work something out herself.

Damian

Roxanne

Finds a lot of comfort in Roe, especially during the first few days where he’s moved in. He quickly squashed any feelings for her because he knew he’d be living with her. He doesn't regret doing this, and shares a lovely friendship with her.

Mizuki

There’s a bit of pining here. Perks up whenever she brushes past him, but that’s about it.

Luka

There’s a lot of pining here. Has learned to keep his cool over time, but still gets super flustered.

Anette

Like Roe, is on the opposite end of the personality spectrum. Has much more patience with her, and is willing to indulge in her interests and what not. But otherwise, just sees her as someone he’s splitting rent with.

Joshua

Josh is his male confidant. When he can’t go to Roe, he goes to Josh. He really admires Josh’s dedication his body and wishes that he could beef up like him. Will occasionally play video games with him to wind down.

Mizuki

Roxanne

Best friend. Loves Roe to the ends of the Earth, and knows she tolerates her energy.

Damian

Thinks he needs to come out of his shell more, and truly just wants to help him with that. Thinks he can also loosen up and have more fun, but won’t push him with that much.

Luka

Really enjoys cooking for him. She likes to bounce around his lactose intolerance and make creative things for him. He also adores her food and gives her lots of compliments. She internally screams every time.

Anette

Nets is her favorite to cook for. Since she’s a strict vegetarian, there’s even more limitations to take into account. And while Luka always gives her praise, Nets isn’t afraid to give criticism, and Zuki knows that’s how she’ll grow. Also loves to play with Nets’ blue hair.

Joshua

Big brother status for life, whole package included. Teasing, fighting, but also roughhousing and advice and lots of love.

Luka

Roxanne

Enjoys her friendliness. They’re just kind of friends, there’s nothing super special here.

Damian

Tried to make friends with Damian. And would say they’re really good acquaintances. But he absolutely knows about the pining, and takes no interest, so keeps some wall between them.

Mizuki

They share the same energy levels, so they’ll go on rants and tangents together. Will often go to the movies just to laugh at them, or if she needs someone to pose as a boyfriend, she’ll take him.

Anette

Kind of wary about Nets, ever since the threat of hair dying came into play. Has promised to do it one day (“A natural color, Net! Not bright blue! I draw the line at neon!”).

Joshua

Attached to Josh when he first moved in. They didn’t separate ever since.

Anette

Roxanne

Clashing personalities. Thinks Roe absolutely has a stick up her ass and needs to lighten up. But she really appreciates how she keeps the family together during hard times.

Damian

Enjoys her small talks with Damian ever so often. Wish he talked to her more.

Mizuki

Is so appreciative of Zuki respecting her food needs. Has thoughts about relationships with her, and has tried to approach the subject once. Zuki politely declined and they broke off well.

Luka

Really wants to get to know Luka better as a friend. Also wants to dye his hair fun colors because it’s blonde and it would work well.

Joshua

There’s an underlying friendship here that no one else really notices.

Joshua

Roxanne

He’s the one that keeps her grounded and loosens her up. Helps with homework, talks her into more logical mindsets.

Damian

Nothing really special here. Just friends.

Mizuki

Zuki is his little sister in his mind. He’ll literally punch someone out for her.

Luka

Best bros. No more needs to be said.

Anette

Like stated before, there’s actually a huge untapped relationship here. He has a lot of identity questioning and angst surrounding his orientation, and Nets is so helpful to him. There’s been nights where he’s gone to her crying and she’s been there to get him back to bed and give him peace of mind.

So this was super long, but I hope you enjoyed it, Anon! More detailed elaborations can be made about specific people, but I think this gives a pretty good overview. Thank you so much for asking about my children, they are always here for you!

[calwingjapan]

４月9日ー新しい年

Year 2 officially has started! Thank god, because spring break was honestly really boring. I had to cancel my vacation plans due to complications with finances and my phone, so most of the time I just spent it lying in my futon playing games. It wasn’t all that fun. Two days back and I’m already feeling refreshed and ready to go!

First off, new teachers. I guess there was a cancellation in one teacher’s transfer b/c someone ended up staying who was supposed to leave. Tho...it wasn’t someone I regularly have to work with. I miss the other teacher’s already! SOBS.

Anyway, the new principal is even more lax and casual than I was informed he’d be. In fact, he’s kind of a joker. No English skills at all, but just like our previous principal, he has no cares and all the confidence to just talk to me normally. If I had to compare then, our previous principal was like your tired 70 year old grandpa who didn’t give a shit about anything so long as everyone did their job. The new principal is like your still-energetic 57 year old grandpa who believes in desserts-before-dinner. I’m sure we’ll along just fine. :D Now, onto the new teachers.

Kiko - She’s been assigned as first grade assistant alongside Taku-sensei. She used to be a middle school ENG teacher, like Hiroshi-sensei. When we first met she was a bit nervous, you could tell, but by the end of the day we were talking lightly in both languages with ease, just asking simple questions and getting to know each other.

Tomomi - The main teacher for second grade. We didn’t talk much but they seem nice. I get the feeling it’s going to be awhile before we connect just like how it had been with Hidetoshi and Taku sensei during last year.

Kenta - How funny. One of our school secretaries was named Kenta and he left after last year. This year, a new person arrives with the same name. He’s the assistant teacher for second grade, fresh out of college, and...rather peculiar. He has no English knowledge yet the minute I walked in he made eye contact with me and smiled. Kenta was easily the most eager to say hello and chat about almost anything. He’s very friendly. A part of me can’t help think maybe we’ve seen each other somewhere before? Or maybe he’s seen me at least??? I dunno (maybe we flirted with each other in a dating app at some point), but either way I’m not going to say no to someone with a positive attitude.

Wakana - She sits next to me in the staff room and was assigned to the 4th grade. (Yeah, they moved my desk this year. Now instead of being up against the supply wall with the 1st and 2nd grade teachers, I’m in the center of the whole room, right next to the 3rd, 4th, and Tsukushi teachers.) Like with Tomomi, we only talked briefly. She seems shy, but made it known that she can speak a little bit of English, probably just enough for the sake of planning lessons.

Ryosasaki - He’s the new assistant teacher for 5th grade and is paired up with Ippei-sensei. Like with Tomomi, we only talked briefly. He doesn’t seem all that shy, more so just distant, similar to Atsunori when I first met him last year...I have a small feeling that we aren’t going to get along, or we just simply won’t be doing that much talking.

Mizuki - Shockingly, I knew him already! Throughout all of last year, there were plenty of people from the BOE, city hall, and so on who would pop in for meetings with the staff or see how the general life at the school was going. Mizuki happened to be one of them! We never spoke, but I always remembered him because of his kind face, uplifting personality, and the random fact that he always said hello to me whenever we saw each other. Most other visitors pay me no mind when they see me in the staff room, yet Mizuki would casually just say ‘konichiwa’ without fail and with a smile as he walked into the staff room and headed straight for the principal’s office. What’s he doing here as a teacher? Well...it seems that we have a new special education student, but her condition is different from that of the other tsukushi kids. So, he’s here to be her teacher. I didn’t get any clarification of what exactly her learning disability is, but since it’s not autism then the only other possibility it could be would either be dyslexia, Aspergers, or some form of mental retardation that I’m unfamiliar with. I’ve yet to meet this girl, but I will soon enough.

[nomenomens]

Nomen

Chapter XXVII - Sorrow I (Anger's Version)

TW : none for now, but please check 'About Nomen' for more informations

WC : around 2900 words

Previous Chapter : The Messenger

Next Chapter : Sorrow II (Heart's Version)

Masterlist

***************************************************

May 13, Friday, 16:01 (present time)

Sebastian never mentioned that night again, and neither did I, but something had changed. I had the feeling he was trying to investigate deeper into what happened, but I decided to play dumb to avoid more questions. After our first encounter three days ago, Sebastian was often away, something he never did before, as he used to be glued to my side most of times. Not that I was actually alone, since Mizuki was even more paranoid and worried than before, even if we all knew for certain that Akura-Ou wouldn’t come back soon since he needed to get stronger and grew new shikigami, as Captain Ackerman had reported. The marks on my neck were fading, and the make up Mizuki placed everyday was really doing his trick, along with his solution to help my voice recover. My parents thought I took a cold and everything seemed fine. So why was I nervous?

“A-Li.”

“Yeah?”

“Mey-Rin just said to tell you “he said yes”, whatever that means.”

“Oh, o-okay. Thank you, Seb.”

Oh right, that’s probably why I was nervous. I was waiting for his answer. I didn’t pay any attention to the rest of the class, so much that Sebastian had to shake me to make me realize it was time to get up and exit the room. Had he really accepted my gifts? Weren’t them a bit too weird? The idea of giving him those gifts was actually made on an impulse at two a.m., when I had woken up and realized that Sebastian was gone and Mizuki was in my room in his place, dozing off on my chair. I wanted to thank the Captain and express my gratitude and my mind hadn’t been able to produce a better idea. Later I explained to Sebastian what Mey-Rin was referring to and even if his expression was still the same, I swear I saw his jaw tighten as soon as I mentioned the Captain. I wasn’t sure if he was suppressing a laugh or a growl.

********************************************

May 22, Sunday, 14:32 (present time)

“Roni!”

“Watch out!”

“Are you okay?”

“Did you hurt yourself?”

“Can you get up?”

In a matter of seconds, my parents, uncles, aunties and cousins of every grade were all over me, trying to pick me up from the ground where I fell. It happened quite frequently to me to fall from the stillest positions, but I guess it was my first time to actually fell down from a chair with armrests, while staying perfectly motionless. I tried to reassure everyone with a big laugh, blaming my clumsiness and getting up by myself, ignoring the hand of my relatives. They all blamed some mole that was weakening the soil since last year. I was just sitting in a bad place over a tunnel made by that mole according to them. Just my luck. I brushed my clothes, now full of dirt, and I noticed my hands and legs were shaking uncontrollably. I looked at my mom and she immediately picked up the situation, intercepting my silent request for help. 

“You continue with your lunch, we’ll take a short walk.”

“I’ll come too!”

My cousin, Ari, joined me and my mom, escorting us into the woods she knew as the back of her hand. It was actually her birthday that we were celebrating. She worked along with her husband in those stables, without knowing it was my property. Well, it was actually my brother’s property, but no one had any idea I lead a double life. My mom gave me a tissue since I had started crying as a little girl as soon as we were far from the rest of the relative’s sight. 

“Oh no, Roni! Why are you crying? Did you hurt yourself?”

“Don’t worry, Ari, it’s normal for her. Whenever she falls, she cries because she’s easily embarrassed.”

My mom was right. I was a grown up, but still couldn’t stop crying as a way to release the tension every time I fell, just as I did when I was little. They both started to stroke my back in reassurance, which actually made me feel worse. I hated being at the centre of attention, especially in these kind of situations. I took a long and deep breath, letting the smell of the rain from the day before still fresh on that side of the land invading my nose, while the gentle and cold breeze of that cloudy day caressed my face and calmed me some more. It was full spring, but this side of the hill, just a few miles from home, surely didn’t know and I was glad for that. 

“I think I’m fine now.”

“Then shall we go?”

“You go back, I’ll go to the bathroom and wash my face.”

“All right.”

With those words and an apprehensive look on their faces, both of them went back to the tables outside the little cabin where the kitchen was, where everybody was having lunch outdoors despite being cloudy and a bit too cold to be the end of May. I never went to the bathroom, but instead I walked more, reaching the first paddock. It was empty. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply again. Now it was smelly, as the horses were closer, but I didn’t care. When I inhaled a different but familiar smell, without opening my eyes, I started to speak, knowing Sebastian was there.

“Don’t mock me.”

“I never said a word, A-Li.”

“But you saw.”

“You know I have to watch you.”

“Well you didn’t do it that much these days, so I hoped for a moment you would be too distracted to notice me.”

A weird silence fell, and so I opened my eyes to see his face closer than I anticipated to my cheek. His expression was serious. 

“A-Li, you know it’s because-“

“You’re working with Albert searching for Jiang Cheng and you’re tracing his every known move to trace a pattern and discover where he is hiding. I know. I’m not blaming you for that, I was just joking, why are you so serious?”

“Because lately I think you’re distracted too.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re losing focus on your mission.”

“It’s only because there’s nothing I can do if we don’t find Mo Xuanyu or Jiang Cheng. My brother is always my priority, don’t worry.” 

A metallic sound interrupted our conversation. I looked over where the sound originated and recognized the Captain, fixing his tridimensional maneuver while walking towards us, followed by Mizuki, who was now getting off his white celestial snake. I didn’t think he would come without someone from his squad, but then again, it was his own gift. Before they got too close to us, I spoke again to Sebastian. 

“Mizuki knows what to do, it’s not the first time he comes here. Let the Captain have his tour and decide by himself. If he has questions or anything else, you’re the referent for that. Also, tell them to be more discreet with their means of transportations, they're not invisible and there are lots of people around.”

I started to walk back, never looking back at any of them, but I heard Mizuki’s quick step following me until I was too close to my relatives for him to reach me. I was still embarrassed and covered with dirt, so I had no intention of talking with the Captain in those conditions. Also, Sebastian’s words hit a nerve. I was distracted since Eren and the Squad had arrived. Since the Captain arrived. In any case, I would never put anything or anyone else before the possibility of having my brother back; even if I was somehow distracted, that was my only principle. But then, why was I relieved when I thought Akura-Ou had finally killed me?

“…and over there is the cabin, but my Lady is having lunch with her family so we can’t go too close. So, it is to your liking, Captain Ackerman?”

“Why does she want to give me the property of her stables?”

“From what I know it’s a gesture of gratitude.”

“That is what troubles me.”

“May I ask what does it mean?

“It’s nothing.”

“Are you thinking my Lady has an ulterior motive?”

“That’s not what I said. Anyway, when can I talk to her to give my final answer?”

“I’m your referent for every question.”

“Then tell her I can’t accept.”

“As your wish.”

Sebastian smiled politely, but it was noticeable his politeness was fake. He clearly couldn’t wait for me to disappear and to stop being my guide. I was feeling uneasy. The place was beautiful, so different and yet so similar to Paradis, but I never wished for stables or a home outside from the island. Everything felt weird and it was even weirder how she was avoiding me. I didn’t want to do so but here I was, asking myself many useless questions about her, unable to keep her out of my head. The expression on her face that night, her pleading through the phone, the way she showed interest for our cause, the vulnerability she showed the night i found her crying on the hood of her car, screaming songs at the sky. I couldn’t get her, and I had always relied on my instinct to judge someone, so the fact that I couldn’t place her was confusing me more than I wanted to admit. I didn’t wish to understand her, I didn’t care enough to try either, but something continued to draw me to her. That was why, without actually planning what to say or how to do it, I discovered myself following her as soon as she was alone in front of the same paddock where I saw her earlier. 

It was almost time to go back home. The wind was rising stronger and clouds were gathering more and more, promising rain. I loved rain, but it scared me when it rained too heavy and I wasn’t home. I was mentally recalling various episodes that included rain when I heard steps behind me. 

“It feels like falling, it feels like rain, like losing my balance again and again. It once was so easy: breathe in, breathe out, but at the foot of this mountain I only see clouds.”

“Mizuki, I told you, I just needed a breather, I’m going back in five minutes to say goodbye to my relatives as a proper niece should do.”

“Not Mizuki.” 

His voice made me shiver as always. Deep and calm. I hadn’t heard it much, but the memories of his voice were branded inside my brain along with the look in his eyes. I refused to turn and look at him, but I started to hope someone would interrupt us. Sadly, it was just us and the horses, since two were now in the paddock, on the opposite side from where we were standing. The cabin was far and the employees were busy between the other paddocks along the vale in front of us. Sebastian was surely watching me from a distance, but I had prohibited him to approach unless it was a matter of life and death, the same went for Mizuki. Sebastian would surely follow my orders, so my only hope was Mizuki, but he stayed clear from the horses, as they could perceive his snake-nature. So I was trapped into having a conversation with him. I tried to make it brief.

“I feel out of focus, or at least indisposed as this strange weather pattern inside me takes hold. Each brave step forward I take three steps behind. It's mind over matter, matter over mind.”

“I’m sorry, Captain, I thought Mizuki-“

“Yes, I figured.”

He had stopped walking, probably before getting too close to the fence where I was leaned on, with a foot over the first of the horizontal wooden bar of the paddock’s gate. I decided to make a run for it.

“Well, I have to go.”

“You said you would wait five minutes before going back. You have enough time.”

Shit. Now I needed an excuse. I turned and finally looked at him. Fortunately he wasn’t too close.

“Slowly, then all at once. A single loose thread and it all comes undone.”

“…you don’t have to be so literal, Captain. I have to go the bathroom suddenly, it takes a while to-”

I started to walk but as soon as I was about to cross him, he turned his head, looking right at me and ignoring my attempts to escape this situation. His gaze made me freeze right there, a few inches from his body at my left. I looked at him while panic took the best of me and our eyes locked for the first time that day. His eyes were really something else, but that wasn’t the right time to lose myself in them. He spoke first. 

“I don’t think you really have to take a shit right now, so…why?”

His harsh tone and words made me flinch. I decided to not pick up his provocation, trying to maintain an apparent calm. 

“…why what?”

“Why this?”

He made circles with his pointing fingers, hinting at the whole land around us. I took the hint.

“As I wrote, it was a way to show you my gratitude. You saved me and I wanted to thank you.”

“Enough with the bullshit! Why the fuck are you grateful I intervened that night if you were thanking that man for killing you?”

“Where there is light, a shadow appears: the cause and effect when life interferes.”

I immediately turned my face, looking at my feet in a pathetic and futile attempt to hide my shocked expression. He heard me. He saw. I recalled that moment in my head, when I let my hands fall from Akura-Ou’s wrists, accepting my death and whispering to him my thanks before smiling and let myself go, feeling glad someone did something I had wished to do several times but lacked the courage to commit. I covered my mouth with my left hand, while the thumb of my right hand started to nervously stroke the ring I wore on the pointer finger next to it. I could feel his look over my face, burning as always. I tried to swallow in order to regain some control over my actions, fighting my instinct to just avoid the conversation and run away in tears. 

“I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to fight it, but I will learn to fight, I will learn fight, ’til this pendulum finds equilibrium.”

“N-not your business. It was a mistake.”

“No, it wasn’t. You’re a terrible liar.”

“You don’t know me.”

“But I know that kind of expression! You were ready, you gave up. You were honestly fine with dy-"

“Not another word, Captain. Please. Please.”

My voice broke, but for once I was able to control my tears and I pushed them back, sustaining his gaze with the little pride I still had. How could he understand my feelings from just an expression? How could he be so sure of everything? And mostly, why was he right? He spoke again, now with a calmer tone, but all I wanted to do was going away from there, from him. 

“Stop saying that.”

“Wh-what…?”

“Stop saying ‘please’ that way.”

“Then stop bringing me to plead you every time. I know I have no right to ask you any favors, but since it’s not your business what I want to do with my life or how I feel, you should respect me and my decisions.”

“Slowly, then all at once. The dark clouds depart, and the damage is done.”

As I felt anger consume my insides I noticed how my tone had become harsher. I was hurt because I was being exposed. I walked away from him faster than I could without looking back while thunders started to fill the air, accompanied by the horses’ nervous neighing that resonated all through the vale as the wind started blowing stronger and stronger. The weather seemed to agree with my own emotions, as if I was living proof of what Romantic painters and poets tried to express during their lifetime. My blood was boiling under the skin, making the cold air sting over my wet cheeks. If they were wet because of tears or rain, I couldn't say. I just knew my pressure was rising, deafening every sounds, muffling the voices of my parents until only a ring could occupy my hearing. hoped Sebastian and Mizuki hadn’t heard a word despite the tone I used.

“Like wildfire It starts in my chest The silence grows louder Ringing out in my head I feel the Earth shaking under my feet I feel the pressure building until I can't breathe And it takes everything.”

I went inside my father's car, breathing slowly to gain back control of my emotions. I didn't even realized we were moving until I found myself surrounded by unshaped trees, safely distanced form me by the window shield of the car, running through that forest's road. Slowly, every sound became clearer: my parent's voice, the music on the radio, the car's rumble over the unpaved road. Only one thought occupied my mind until I got back in the safe environment of my room: I couldn't let myself be so touched by the Captain's words and observations skills like this anymore. I had to put more distance.

“So pardon the dust while this all settles in. With a broken heart transformation begins.”

********************************************

May 26, Thursday, 15:23 (present time)

Thinking it back I could’ve lied to him. I could’ve said it was just a bluff, or something similar, but instead I confirmed his own impression. Not that he was wrong to begin with. I started to scrape the skin over my chest lightly but constantly, something I used to do a lot when I was nervous, that was why I was always covered in little marks and spots. Sebastian then took my hand and held it down. 

“You’re in public, A-Li. You shouldn't pick your skin like this.”

He had whispered to my ear but those days I was still upset about my conversation with the Captain to care for my surroundings anymore. Without even noticing, I was about to enter in a church, the closest to my university, just at the end of the road. I honestly had no idea how did I get there, but art was my other saving grace, just as important as music. I guess I was just trying to find comfort during a break between lessons. It was a medieval church, a martyrium, even if not everything about it was original, as a lot of parts were lost during the World War II. I was standing under the portico, looking at the frescos when Sebastian held my hand down. 

“Yes, but there’s no one here.”

“Still, you shouldn’t pick your skin like that, it can leave scars if you’re too insisting. Now, can you tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You want to be alone?”

I looked over at him with surprise written all over my face, while still holding his hand. He never suggested to let me be alone when I was far from home, every time it happened it was only because there was no other choice or if I begged for days. Then with a swift move he placed himself behind me, keeping me in place as he held my arm now behind my back. He lowered his face, letting his lips graze above my shoulder.

“…Or do you prefer for me to stay here and take care of you and your mood in such sacred place?”

Shivers went down my spine as I sensed his breath over my neck. I was speechless. Sebastian was really convinced sex was the remedy for every time I felt anxious, and it scared me that for a moment I actually thought about letting him have his way with me right there, but I would never do so in a place I respected that much. I hated even when people got too close to the paintings in a museum without a care in the world, so I would've never accepted. The thrill was good and Sebastian knew how to provoke, but art was more important. Also, I wasn't in the mood. Actually, it had been several days since I last felt in the mood.

“If it wasn’t for the art, maybe I would’ve liked to try the second option, but right now, I really wish to be alone.”

“I knew it.”

He let me go and said he would go back home, and so he did. I took my phone and earphones, but as the screen turned bright, I read the text notice. I felt like the impossible happened. The Captain had just wrote to me two songs' titles without adding anything else. The first song, was the one I quoted in the letter I wrote to him, The Messenger, which probably meant he had found it while listening to my playlist. But it was the second one who made my heart skip a bit. 

It was Sorrow. 

********************************************

Author's note: Hello! To explain the title: this chapter was longer than usual, so I decided to split it in two parts (that's why it says "Part I") where the mood changes from anger to something else you'll discover next week (that's why this first part is "Anger's version"). But that's not all. "Anger" is also the title of another song of the same band (which isn't a band anymore, but a project named Sleeping At Last) and the same album from which "Sorrow" is taken from. Even the mood you'll see in "Part II" will be inspired by another song of that same album which, as you've probably guessed, focus on human emotions. I really recommend to listen to the songs while reading, actually, just listen to the whole album, it is marvelous according to me. Oh and both "Sorrow" and "Anger" lyrics are quoted. I don't know if you enjoyed them, but as soon as I heard/read them I was surprised by how much descriptive they are. The images that were used felt so familiar and...perfect. Okay, now I'm done with complimenting the author. Maybe. Anyway, I'll leave you to the second part of this chapter, thank you for reading!

[thatsrightdollface]

KamiHaji Week Prompt One: “Ship Day”

Every Year (Honest)

Mizuki visits Unari beneath her ocean, long, long into the future. 

Ships: Mizuki/Unari (One-Sided), Mizuki/Nanami Momozono (One-Sided)

Post-Canon.  About 1,500 words.  I’d give this a “G” rating, too.

Other Relevant Tags: Loss, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Cream.

(Thank you for reading, if you do, and sorry for anything I got wrong!  Happy KamiHaji Week~~~!) 

Ao3 link! 

He was coming to see her, in those dripping dark halls beneath the Okinawan Ocean – soon, now.  Unari’s insides tangled, thinking on it…  Reminding herself, so that she ran webbed fingers through her hair and scrubbed bits of clinging seaweed from between the scales of her winding tail. Fidgeting.  Expecting.  He’d made his promises to her years before – plenty of children had been born and grown into their human lives since he’d spoken them.  Every year, Mizuki came to visit Unari’s caves and corridors, her slow-brewing Water of Evolution and ageless, sharp-toothed smile.  Every year, whatever had been happening at the shrine he served.  Whatever had been happening in all that strange, too-fast world beyond the deep.  

               Sometimes he came with a batch of his sacred sake, humming to himself and content…  Possibly a little drunk, already.  Sometimes he came wearing strange clothes from a human store and carrying gifts from the mortal world beyond.  The tissue paper stuffed around those gifts would be only a little damp after his trip through her sea, in that case.  Unari wouldn’t have expected anything less from a divine water snake familiar.

               And sometimes…  Later on… Mizuki came with his eyes red and stinging, because his human love was growing so frail, so fading, and he could pour out all his cleansing holy powers – gather all sorts of cryptic medicine – and still not save her completely.  Human creatures weren’t built to last long, after all – especially if they were determined to stay human and die a human death.  But Mizuki would come check in, even so, and smile for Unari as though he thought she was wonderful.  Say it was good to see her, and truly, truly mean it.

               Unari actually believed Mizuki meant it, anyway, which was no small thing for someone who’d lived as many lonely, doubting centuries as she had.  She hadn’t gone around with her face eternally hidden in a long time, but of course she remembered what the world looked like through a ghostly film… Through a veil, yes, but more through her own clouded sense of self.  Unari couldn’t help but remember the way her mother had taught her to be ashamed of her dragon blood, ashamed of her stark horns and face half scabbed with scales.  Maybe she would always remember, and it would well up inside her sometimes like a hateful, simmering tide.  

               She would have good days, and bad.  She would feel like her best self, and she wouldn’t. That was a gift her childhood had left for her, and Unari had told Mizuki about it a little bit from year to year to year.  Feelings came and went like tides, and he understood, she thought.  He would accept her whatever sort of day it was, and knowing that always helped her look into her own face again.

               Unari had offered her arms to Mizuki without questioning it at all, when he came with his eyes red and his voice shaking a few years back…  When he had hospital phone numbers saved in his contacts list and very little experience with the passage of mortal lives.  He’d crumpled into her for just a second, face against the crook of her neck and shoulders shivering as if the world were freezing around them, though Unari knew it wasn’t.  He took in a long, watery breath, and Unari held him as well as she knew how.  It was the way she’d held him a couple times before, by that point, and the way she’d once been afraid she would never be able to hold anyone in all her time on that earth.

               This man had nearly been her husband, Unari’d thought, without really meaning to.  If she hadn’t released Mizuki from their agreement.  If she hadn’t seen that love and want and pain he felt, churning beneath the smoothed-out surface of him.  Beneath fangs and sharp venom-green eyes, beneath holy purpose and the word of his god.  Mizuki felt all those things, even still.  Even now.  All those things for some bright-eyed human girl.  

               Unari held Mizuki as long as he needed to be held, and thought about how they might have been married.  Might’ve been together all the time.  She reminded herself not to think about any of that, of course, just as soon as she remembered to.  It could only hurt, after all.  

               And then the moment passed.  Mizuki was propping himself back up, soon enough, and offering a story about something strange that had happened on his way to her corner of the world.  His human love had asked him to keep smiling if he could, he’d said, and Unari didn’t think he would’ve let that smile slip for just anybody.  

               Every year Mizuki showed up, and Unari tried to meet him with seashell ornaments pinned in her hair– like the one she’d made as a child, before her mother reminded her why she shouldn’t be seen.  Mizuki would compliment her for that, she knew, and his voice would go all breezy and tender.  So different from the way he’d taunted the former wild fox, Tomoe, egging him into spectral fire…  So different from how he spoke at the foot of Lord Mikage, his newest god.  Mizuki’s easy manners changed Unari’s home for a while, no matter what.  His laughter lit everything up, at least so far as she was concerned, like river water catching in the sunlight.

               And then, of course, Mizuki left.  Back to Mikage Shrine, riding along the spine of that winding white freshwater serpent.  Waving to her over his shoulder or making a heart with his bent fingers, tender and gentle and gone.  He had his place, and she had hers.  He had snarky quips to make about the goings on back at Mikage Shrine and she had an ocean to keep as pure and deathless as she could.  Sometimes he stayed for a day or so, and sometimes he stayed a bit longer… But not usually.

               And yes – yes –

               Maybe Unari wished things could be different. Wished it somewhere deep and real inside herself, like magma bubbling into a vein of heat and want beneath the pitch-dark sea.  Maybe she was still hoping for a change.  

               Hoping that this time of all times, Mizuki would lean in so much closer to her.  Maybe now he’d brush his cold fingers against hers and learn what wanting to stay with her tasted like...   Maybe he’d lick his lips before murmuring something new – before changing things between them.  He would taste the salt of that place, then, the way Unari always, always tasted salt. She was an ocean-born creature, after all.  

               This man could’ve been her husband.    

               It was hard not to remember that, sometimes, even as Unari tried to shove the thought away.  

               Mizuki could have learned to live beneath waves, beneath salt wind and whale song and coral palaces constantly growing, becoming new. It wouldn’t have been just a visit, then, and it definitely wouldn’t have meant so many goodbyes.  They could have had something eternal.  

               But that wasn’t what Unari was going to ask for, when Mizuki came to see her again that year.  At the beginning, she’d asked him to stay with her plenty of times.  Over and over again. She’d hinted that he could change his mind and become hers whenever he wanted.  But now?  

               Now, Mizuki brought ice cream when he dropped by – it was a human food his second goddess… (his mortal love) … had taught him about.  He gave Unari a choice of different flavors, voice so airy and familiar she felt her heart in her throat.  He propped his cheek on his palm and listened to her talk through how her year had been; he brought photos of the forest around Mikage shrine to show her, and photos of human shops and gardens and a shimmering city that seemed to grow stranger all the time.  So much glass!  You wouldn’t be able to escape your reflection for long in a place like that, wherever you went.  It was possible Unari wouldn’t have minded too much, if Mizuki had been there with her, though.  It was possible she wouldn’t have minded much at all.  

               He brought photos of his mortal love’s great-grandchild, too, that little thing who called him “Uncle Mizuki” just the same as the child before her, and the child before that.  He smiled, fond and sad, flipping through those pictures…  He smiled like he knew Unari already understood whatever he could say.  And she thought maybe she did, after all their years together.  

               Now, Unari just asked if Mizuki would like to attend a party with her while he was staying beneath her waves…  One of those galas her mother had never wanted to take her along to.  You know. She knew he could say yes to something like that in good conscience, and a knowing little grin might slither over his face like a shared secret.  

               Mizuki could’ve been Unari’s husband, sure, but what they had was honest.  That was important.  That was theirs.  And maybe Unari would vow to get him home before his Lord Mikage started hinting that he was taking an awfully long time away from the shrine, next – and maybe Mizuki would do an impression of Tomoe the former wild fox scolding him for shirking his duties.  It had been a long time since Tomoe had done a thing like that, but they’d laugh together like Mizuki’d gotten lectured just yesterday.  As if he’d been lounging around waiting for the stars to come out or reading a novel or something when the fox decided he was supposed to be cleaning dishes.  Unari thought she could do a pretty decent impression of Tomoe’s voice by that point, too.

               They’d go inside together, then.  Maybe he’d even notice how carefully she’d polished her scales.