#so when i see the ugly shit on tumblr it gives me grey hairs

[reigningm4x]

you are always talking about how content looks 🤣🤣

it is my literal job so.

[katyspersonal]

How me reblogging some fanart goes:

*scrolls*

There is nothing special about this drawing, nothing to stand out, simply academical level perfect painting with perfect shading of just character in Environment, so I won't give it attention

*scrolls*

There is nothing special about this drawing either but the artist is clearly beginner and is currently ignored, I wish to support them!!! *reblogs*

*scrolls*

I could've forgiven drawing his arm turning into tentacles because although it isn't accurate it is still funny and should have been canon, but his hair is black and waving, not brown and straight! Ignored.

*scrolls*

Her ribbon is not like this at all, but this is a cute interaction! Fine, I will reblog..

*scrolls*

OH MY GOD RARE CHARACTER RARE CHARACTER NO ONE ELSE DRAWS HFHFJVGJ IT IS RARE CHARACTER OH MY GOD BLESS YOU OP I LOVE THAT YOU'VE NOTICED THIS RARE CHARACTER VFUYFJFJ BARK BARK WOOF WOOF 🐕 *chews the post a little before reblogging* *+10 HP*

*scrolls*

Ah, funny mem- VARGRAM ERASURE GOD FUCKING DAMMIT VARGRAM ERASURE DO NOT LAUGH RETREAT RETREAT!!!!!!!! Ugh how the HECK even lore-obsessed freaks like me are still doing this?! I don't care that you enjoy neglecting minor characters, Vargram's set is NOT a covenant set!!!!

*scrolls*

Shit, wtf? Why this person still haven't blocked me, after how negative they've been to my friend? Okay scroll carefully to not accidentally press like on Tumblr mobile.... scroll past carefully.... very slowly...... please mobile don't fuck this up...

*scrolls*

This fanart is really inaccurate visually but the concept is perfectly lore accurate! I am definitely supporting this! *reblogs*

*scrolls*

This person's uncolored doodle got 800+ notes in 3 hours when my best and most detailed works are lucky to cross 50 notes... I am worthless and should quit art, the girls clearly like my lore posts more than my ugly art... *sniffs* No wonder, I draw like a child, my faces are ugly, my anatomy is broken, shading makes no sense... *sobs* I bet fans of the characters I draw have cringe attacks when I touch them... God I remember how back in my Mico simping days other Mico simps side-eyed my fanart of him, and it was clear it is because it is ugly... It isn't even a matter of "they want to prettyfy him" because they do reblog and like "ugly" art of him, they just hate MY style in particular because I am a TERRIBLE artist.... *sobs*

*scrolls*

.....what. the. FUCK. Why THE fuck this perfect, amazing, fully colored drawing with hella effort in it barely has notes? Fuck this fandom, I hate this fandom! Nevermind, my art isn't bad, this fandom is just too stingy for support! *reblogs*

*scrolls*

Haha, nice o- VARGRAM ERASURE VARGRAM ERASURE RETREAT RETREAT

*scrolls*

Wow, these sketches are lovely, I want to reblog- *sees the caption like 'some sketches from insta'* Nah, I do not want to interact with artists who otherwise hang out on another site (which sucks and is very toxic to artists btw) and just use Tumblr as a dumping ground or portfolio. I only like people who actually USE this site.

*scrolls*

Good and quality art, but nothing special about this design. It feels like they drew fanart of the fanon! Could have added their own unique vision smh.

*scrolls*

Oh my god, finally! Finally, fanart of the ship I love so much! I've been- wait wait wait. Why Brador is wearing his beast hyde while Laurence is still alive? Brador's beast hyde is explicitly stated to be that of a Cleric Beast, and Laurence was the FIRST Cleric Beast! No yeah, beggars CAN be choosers. Ignored.

*scrolls*

Oh, good art- wait, why this character's eyes are blue? This character has grey eyes! But also this is such a rare character to draw... Fine. *reblogs but points out the eye color is wrong in the tags*

*scrolls*

Good art, but caption is hostile. No one wants to know that you hate this character under the art of this character. Ignored.

*scrolls*

Good art, reblogged.

*scrolls*

Very well done art, but her chest is not that big! In fact, she is boobless. Maybe next time.

*scrolls*

I want to reblog this fanart, but also despite doing so much work on detail and lighting, they forgot those cute accessories by each side of her big brooch! It could not be the laziness, it obviously was using other fanarts as the reference instead of actual ingame screenshots and model!

*scrolls*

Wh... what... oh my god... Oh my god this person drew the idea I suggested.... I've inspired someone? Oh God. Wait a second. Oh no. I need like a full week to articulate my emotions. Oh God I can't. I didn't just contribute something good in the fandom. Oh no *crying cat*

*scrolls*

I feel nothing for this ship, but this fandom is obnoxious when the female character without canon sexuality they've DECIDED is a lesbian is shipped with male character, so I will support this person. *reblogs*

*scrolls*

Good art, but they have this dumb DNI caption under their post. I don't even fit the criteria, I just don't want to carry the whole "panic about contact with ImPuRiTy" attitude with the drawing! When will people learn that some bad person liking their art is not the end of the world? 🤔

*scrolls*

Wow, good drawing!!! *the tags are the wall of passive aggression towards fans with "wrong" headcanons* Well now I am not reblogging it.

*scrolls*

Goddamit, Crow, I know you are desperate for at least any art of your blorbo, but why would you reblog something that is so careless? They clearly like what they could make out of character instead of actual character's appearance! You were just passionately approving of posts like "stop removing his wrinkles!" or "stop giving her huge honkers!" and now this? 🐓🐓🐓

*scrolls*

CROW YOU REBLOGGED VARGRAM ERASURE I THOUGHT YOU WERE BASED BUT YOU...... YOU ARE C R I N G E 🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

[wooteena]

technoblade speedrunning adopting ranboo (high school edition): the fanfic

also on ao3!

hey remember this post? well i got so attatched and impatient that i wrote over 1k words for a pilot type chapter for it <3

chapter one: officer in my defense i punched that guy because he deserves it

-

Techno Blade-Minecraft would call himself smart. He got good grades without trying, learned second, then third languages with ease, read textbooks for fun, etcetera etcetera. Wisdom without experience was a rare thing to possess, especially in a high school senior but techno had it tight in his grasp, easily making him a ‘Model Student’. He understood he got unneeded attention from that, which sucked, but it was an easy trade-off to be the automatic teacher’s favourite.

But Techno was a man of wisdom, not a man of sense. So naturally, he remembered a fact about baby birds he learnt when he was six years old:

‘Classical "imprinting", as seen with for example, ducks or geese, means that the animal's instinctive programming says "the first big animal you see after hatching is your mom, follow them and look to her for food, warmth, love and learning’

Actually, Techno decided he was the man of Most Sense because at that very moment, the tallest, yet somehow weakest looking freshmen he’d ever seen was being cornered by a group of hefty looking seniors.

And the baby bird, with its innocent, scared eyes was looking right at him.

He looked around the hallway, a desperate scan for other students he could push his growing parental responsibility on to. It was a ghost town, as empty as the remakes of towns from the old west he saw on childhood school excursions.

‘Fuuuuuuuuuuck.’

Technoblade took a deep breath in through his nose, then released it out of his mouth like if he breathed hard enough, his empathy could be taken away with the non existent wind in the soul-crushing grey hallways. It obviously didn’t work because Jesus Christ that kid looked helpless.

As quickly as one could without compromising a freshmen’s still intact nose, Techno examined the seniors. They all wore the school football team’s letterman jacket (‘what is this, Heathers?’), a classic pointer for internalized insecurity, toxic masculinity and most importantly unrightfully self diagnosed Strong Guy syndrome, which meant that they definitely were only beating up a freshmen because that was the most they could actually fight. One point to Technoblade. They also were all at least a solid five inches shorter than him, which Techno would have laughed at if the situation wasn’t so dire. Point two for Technoblade.

Catching himself before letting his wandering mind think up a full five paragraph M.L.A sighted essay to why he could crush these nerds, he decided that two points was enough leverage to still crush these nerds, but with slightly less confidence.

With as much patience as he could, he slowly walked up to the group like a silent lion hunting his soon to be, very dead* (maybe not dead, *slightly bruised) prey. The baby bird, trapped in one of his prey’s chokehold, stared at him like he was a madman. Techno’s objective changed: knock out the dickhead choking a kid.

They stood in a corner, the choker in the middle, the other two blocking off the only escapes and laughing cruelly at the baby bird. Completely distracted.

Techno curled his fist, aiming to punch that asshole’s teeth in or at least break his nose. He starts to run, about five feet away from his target and oh god this is a terrible idea he does fencing not hand to ha-

BAM.

Choker’s nose made a resounding crack and fell back onto the jock on the left. Probably because it’d be ‘too gay’, or whatever, the guy sidesteps and lets a knocked out, nose broken, probably popular kid by comparing his ego to the size of his dick, fall onto the ground

The two awake bullies look between their knocked out friend, then at Techno, then at each other.

“MISS NIIIIHACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!”

Techno knew they’d call a teacher because they’re cowards but really? Nihachu?

That lady is TERRIFYING what did he do to deserve this.

He let out a long, disappointed ‘bruh’ before with a jolt, remembering the whole reason he punched that jock in the first.

The child.

He doesn’t bother trying to pick up him up because holy hell he’s tall, but pulls one of the kid’s arms over his shoulder, and with his other arm holds their waist and sprints as fast as he can down the hall.

“What the…” murmurs the half dead lump on his back, and while Techno’s surprised his vocal chords aren’t dead? Not even a ‘thank you’? Techno thinks he should start doing charity work at this point.

He continues to run though, because he’s a generous soul, until slowing to open a door that opens the blinding sunlight of the free world outside their prison.

Despite himself, Techno lets his mouth slip into a big enough smile that actually shows his teeth because he just did that. His celebratory moment is cut off though, because the weight on his back suddenly felt even heavier and-

Oh my God the baby bird just fell asleep on me.

Am I a father now?

What do I tell Phil? Does this make him a grandfather?

I can’t just take him home.

What’s stopping you?

Oh my God, I’m a genius.

Techno may be a proclaimed genius, but he is not immune to the inherent propaganda of cute children, so he sets down the kid on the least grimey part of a battered metal bench to get his first proper look at the sleeping giant.

Apart from his injuries (a bleeding nose, bruises forming on his arms, a black eye and a red handprint on his neck) the kid looked… Weird. Techno had subconsciously noticed it while carrying him, but only now the complete oddity of him. His skin from the jaw down was a uniform, warm, dark brown, which was decidedly normal, but his face was… different. Not ugly, no, he looked average, if not perpetually awkward, even in his sleep. The right side of his face was a similar, if not slightly darker tone than the rest of his skin, but where it got weird weird was from the middle of his face and leftward, his face was pale. As pale as Techno, which is saying something because Techno himself has albinism; he has no melanin in his skin.

He found himself sympathizing for the kid again. Techno himself got bullied for his reddish eyes - a symptom of his albinism, and his naturally stark-white skin and hair. It got to the point that he dyed his hair pink, which decidedly made it worse because a guy dying his hair pink ? apparently high school treason to both students and the school rules. His bullies had a colourful range of insults, at least; Techno’s personal favourites being from after he died his hair: homophobic slurs. The teachers had constant complaints and even a couple suspensions, which didn’t stop Techno, obviously. What a wonder public school is.

So yes, Techno understood the baby bird, because despite Techno’s only weakness being himself (and apparently non-threatening freshmen?) as of now, it wasn’t like he came out of the womb a scary pink haired senior. He knew bullying like the hair dye aisle at his local department store.

He knew that helping the kid would make him more attached to the point of no return, but he’d accepted it. It felt like feeding a wild animal more food after making the mistake the first time, it’s not like it’ll get less annoying to have it following you around.

The moment Techno processed his own thought, his face blanched - somehow getting whiter despite literally being the textbook definition of a white boy.

He’d fallen into the ‘senior adopting a defenseless freshmen’ trap.

Shit.

Even more embarrassingly, this didn't deter Techno from pulling his first aid kit, for once his anxious over-packing doing some good.

-

acording to tumblr statistics, only a small percentage of people who like the post actually reblog it. so if you liked it, give it a reblog! it takes five seconds and you can always delete the reblog later.

[mercdoesfanfic]

The Last of the American Girls (Chapter 1)

Hello! I’m not sure if I’m gonna keep posting fics on tumblr, but I figured I’d give it a try. I guess let me know if you like this fic and I’ll be more likely to keep going. Anyways, it’s going to be kind of a songfic using The Last of the American Girls by Green Day. The first chapter is set up and beyond that, they’ll be memories. WARNINGS: angst, vague references to doing the nasty.

xxx

“Well, she’s the last of the American Girls.”

xxx

In the grand scheme of things, there wasn’t much that Daryl Dixon needed to survive. While some of his companions in the apocalypse yearned for a warm bath or a movie to watch, Daryl was used to living rough and tumble. He knew how to hunt, how to turn animal meat into an edible meal, and how to fend for himself. After all, the world had only just decided it didn’t want the rest of humanity there, but it had despised him since the day he was born.

However, he had to admit he was thrilled when he found out that the Greene’s farmhouse had electricity. It gave him one last opportunity to use the last item he had held onto from the past, to experience the only thing that had mattered to him before the world went to hell.

It took some uncomfortable explaining to one of Hershel’s daughters- the older one who had taken a shine to Glenn- to get him in the door and into the guest room. She left him for a moment with a curious expression, quickly returning with the only item he had asked for.

Daryl took the iPod charger and thanked her quietly, refusing to make eye contact. It didn’t take long for the woman to take her leave.

The younger Dixon could almost hear his older brother’s mocking, despite their estrangement. It didn’t matter where in the world Merle Dixon was, he always got himself the last word when it came to his brother’s choices. And, as Daryl could imagine, he would be getting mocked endlessly for what he was about to do. However, with little else to do as the small black device charged, all he could do was listen to the disappointed guffaws of his elder brother.

“Christ Almighty, Darylina. Not even the end of the fucking world could force you to grow a pair. Sittin’ around in some saintly man’s house, waiting on a useless brick of metal. And for what? All over some bitch that’s dead and gone.”

Daryl almost winced at the imagined scrutiny, his brother’s words cutting worse than when he had thought the things himself. This was remarkably stupid, even by his standards. There was nothing left for him in this. Everything on the little device covered in various, cartoon stickers charging in front of him was based purely on memory, on emotion. Even on a good day, Daryl found the routine, the desire to look through the iPod ridiculous. And he couldn’t help but assume that there weren’t going to be many good days left.

The world seemed to halt when the screen came to life, the usual playlist displayed in dark mode taking over for the first time in months.

His mind, as it always did, clouded at the sight of his name at the top of the track list. Dixon. He could almost hear her voice, the lilt that snuck into her tone every time she greeted him from behind the bar. He thought he had moved past this, that the end of the world had washed away what had come before. That he would be done with the emotional strain that the world had placed on his shoulders from a young age. The good, the bad, and the ugly, all rinsed away for the simple chaos that the walkers left in their wake. But now, sat in front of this stupid fucking box like a teenager looking at a love note, he knew that would never be the case.

xxx

She had been on her tiptoes, cursing as she stretched over the counter to wipe down a spilled drink when he had entered the dimly lit dive bar. It was a chilly evening in Atlanta, but the woman still wore a simple black tank top and grey jean shorts that hardly came halfway down her thighs. Her long, dark brown hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, clearly for practicality as opposed to preference, keeping it off of her face and neck as she worked. This, however, only served to draw attention to the work of art that adorned her body, a tattoo consisting of barbed wire wrapped around her neck that slithered down over the rest of her body, ending somewhere below her ankles. She didn’t seem too imposing, but her presence seemed to demand respect from those around her. In shitholes like this, men could hardly keep their drunken mouths shut around women, saying filthy things and copping feels. But the place was in order. People kept themselves in check and a single glare from her created a silence far more imposing than anything Daryl had ever seen.

He had come in looking for an alibi, an excuse to keep himself out of Merle’s illicit activities for the evening and a dose of plausible deniability should the Atlanta PD come knocking. Instead, he had found something else. Usually, he couldn’t give two fucks about what someone thought about him. But her? He wanted her to notice him…

xxx

Doors opening and closing on the floor below him brought him back to the present, the memory’s clarity fading almost as quickly as it came. The first time he had been able to see her in his mind’s eye in a long time. It had been a year since he had seen her, since he had left the city with his brother like the idiot he was. She had offered him a place in the world, a life of his own, and he had turned it down for Merle fucking Dixon. There wasn’t a day that he wondered if the choice was worth it… But since Merle had fled that rooftop in Atlanta, he knew that he had thrown in with the wrong person.

Everyone he cared for always left him. But not her. She had asked him to stay.

And he had left her in return.

Fucking. Moron.

A parting gift, in the form of her treasured iPod containing a playlist for him, was all he had left of her. He had no doubt in his mind that she was long gone, either fleeing from the dead or part of the dead herself. After all, happy endings and good fortune were never in the cards for any of the Dixons, least of all Daryl.

With unsteady hands, Daryl plugged in the pair of earbuds she had sent along, pushing one into his ear in order to keep himself sharp enough to respond to any possible threats. It was second nature, it always had been. As he stared at the unmoving screen before him, he asked himself whether he deserved this. The memory of Gloria alone overwhelmed him with a sense of bliss, one he wasn’t sure he deserved. It all came back in short bursts. The good, the bad, and the ugly of one of the best people he’d met in his entire life.

xxx

“Oh, eat shit, Dixon!” she cried, laughing through her words as she curled up in the passenger seat of his pick-up truck. “I was NOT that drunk!”

“Ya tripped over the curb, then curled up on the sidewalk screamin’ ‘bout how ya were sure to die any minute. I had t’ carry ya home and put a frozen bag of blueberries on ya elbow.”

“I was just… very concerned about gettin’ a bruise.” she defended adamantly.

“You didn’t even hit that elbow, Glory.”

“Like I said, eat shit!” Her smile was practically contagious.

xxx

“You’re such a fuckin’ prick, Dixon!” she screamed, stalking up the stairs of the empty bar towards her apartment above. “I can’t fuckin’ believe it!”

“Glory, I’ve got no goddamn clue what you are talkin’ about!”

“So I’m just not good enough for a little fuckin’ honesty, that it?!” she demanded, stopping short at the door and turning to face him. Daryl could see the tears hidden behind the rage, but knew that they wouldn’t fall, not in front of him. “Am I jus’ not worth the fuckin’ time?! If you don’ wanna take this anywhere, that’s fuckin’ fine! But don’ lead me on like I’m some idiot.”

“I-... I don’t wanna…-”

“But you are, asshole! I have been jerked around enough damn times to know what it looks like. And to think I thought you gave a fuck.”

“I do! I jus’ ain’t ever done this before!!”

She quieted down almost immediately, her demeanor eerily timid in comparison to her typical fire.

“You-You’ve never… never what? Like… any of it…?”

“No! I haven’t!” Daryl was still pissed, but he couldn’t quite tell if it was at her or himself.

“Oh fuck…. I am… Jesus, I’m so sorry, I’m such a bitch.” she murmured, burying her face in her hands. “Christ, I’m sorry.” she turned around to unlock her door, fumbling with the keys as Daryl fumed. As she opened the door with a creak of rusty hinges, she turned to face him. “You deserve a better first, Dixon. Don’t waste it on me, okay?” the words were filled with kindness, with a sort of compassion he rarely saw from her.

As the door shut, he understood one fact more clearly than he had ever understood about the retreating woman. He was stupidly in love with her.

xxx

Her scars were so different from his. While his were big, ragged gashes, hers were small, smooth indentations in otherwise perfect skin. But, like his, they were everywhere.

He discovered each and every one, his calloused hands tracing ever so lightly over her skin. She leaned up to do the same with her lips, letting them ghost over his neck as he held back a satisfied groan at her efforts. It didn’t take long for him to reach his destination, his nimble fingers pulling melodies from her lips that he was so sure proved the existence of a god. Only the divine could create something so heavenly.

Once she had her fill, he took what he so desperately needed, murmuring praises the entire way. Her nails dug into his arms as she clung to him, begging for more, to be closer to him. To say that having this unwavering force of a woman beneath him crying out in ecstasy was anything short of magical would have been a goddamn crime.

For the first time in his entire life, Daryl Dixon found peace in baring himself to another person, falling soundly asleep with Gloria tangled in a gentle embrace.

xxx

Daryl Dixon refocused his gaze on the screen in front of him and pressed play.

[xbreezymeadowsx]

200 Questions

No one asked me to do it but I made @sharpiewashere do it so it’s only fair I suffer through, too.

200: My crush’s name is: Zach because husband but also... Tommy motherfuckin’ Flanagan

199: I was born in: New Hampshire

198: I am really: horny and annoyed

197: My cellphone company is: Verizon

196: My eye color is: Brown

195: My shoe size is: like 10.5W I think.

194: My ring size is: I think it’s a 9.

193: My height is: 5’ 3”

192: I am allergic to: cats and crop dust

191: My 1st car was: old ass shitty Jeep Grand Cherokee

190: My 1st job was: at a stand in a city mall where we had an inflatable slide and two bounces houses and served sno cones, smoothies, and novelty ice creams

189: Last book you read: Fangs by Sarah Andersen

188: My bed is: fuckin’ broken and uncomfortable and clearly not big enough for myself and my bedhog husband.

187: My pet: 1 old black cat.

186: My best friend: Yuki (that bitch is my best best best friend and I miss her to pieces)

185: My favorite shampoo is: Garnier Whole Blends: Honey Treasures

184: Xbox or ps3: Fuck both. Switch.

183: Piggy banks are: cute

182: In my pockets: nada at the moment

181: On my calendar: is scribbles from my kid

180: Marriage is: Don’t marry a redneck!

179: Spongebob can: stop. Give me the early Bob but that’s it.

178: My mom: loves Unicorns

177: The last three songs I bought were? Wap metal version, Room with a Zoo, Shoop

176: Last YouTube video watched: GabSmolders playing Control

175: How many cousins do you have? technically only 2 by blood and actual familial connections. 6 if you count some others. 9 if you count step-cousins.

174: Do you have any siblings? 1 big Seester!

173: Are your parents divorced? Yeah

172: Are you taller than your mom? Maybe? IDK, we’re both shorties

171: Do you play an instrument? sadly, no.

170: What did you do yesterday? Slept and worked

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: yes

168: Luck: yes

167: Fate: yes

166: Yourself: HA, you’re funny.

165: Aliens: no

164: Heaven: these are...

163: Hell: ... kinda loaded...

162: God: ... questions

161: Horoscopes: maybe

160: Soul mates: yes

159: Ghosts: yes

158: Gay Marriage: yes

157: War: yes

156: Orbs: yes

155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: unfortunately neither.

152: Phone or Online: online

151: Red heads or Black haired: black

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunette

149: Hot or cold: cold

148: Summer or winter: winter

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

145: Night or Day: night

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s outta these choices but I’d take Steak’N’Shake over either.

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk and Dark.

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Zach can be sweet (he certainly isn’t ugly to look at) and we’re definitely on the poor side.

137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi (anybody remember Pepsi Twist? That was the best!)

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Buried or cremated: Buried I guess. Though, if I’m cremated, my ashes need to be spread in one place and no separating them.

134: Singing or Dancing: singing

133: Coach or Chanel: I am a redneck, these things don’t mean anything to me.

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who?

131: Small town or Big city: small town

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Either? I shop Wal-Mart all the time out of convenience but I do like Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I am overall not a fan of either barring a select couple movies (like Heavyweights and Little Nicky)

128: Manicure or Pedicure: no thanks.

127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate

124: Disney or Six Flags: Can I go to a Zoo instead?

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I’ll say Sox because New England but I don’t particularly care for baseball.

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: there’s a time and place

121: George Bush: he’s an idiot?

120: Gay Marriage: yay!

119: The presidential election: tearing families apart because people are stupid and vote for Trump

118: Abortion: this is a bit of a grey area for me. While I firmly believe in “my body, my choice”, I do not accept that argument if you are constantly getting them as if it is a form of birth control. Use proper contraceptives you slut.

117: MySpace: does that even exist anymore?

116: Reality TV: certain ones can assume me.

115: Parents: love them even when you don’t like them.

114: Back stabbers: pussies.

113: Ebay: never used it

112: Facebook: is reserved for pictures of kids, pets, funny videos and memes, and gifs.

111: Work: shitty... literally

110: My Neighbors: I’m just glad they aren’t the cousin-fuckers or the Methicans anymore.

109: Gas Prices: it takes like 20 bucks to fill my tiny car gas tank so whatever.

108: Designer Clothes: never fit me

107: College: didn’t go.

106: Sports: HA. My fat ass play sports? Maybe Badminton or Tetherball but that’s it.

105: My family: lives too far away.

104: The future: needs to be better than now.

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: like 20 mins ago when my kid was trying to suck up to me to get a sip of my frappe.

102: Last time you ate: two hours ago.

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Zane’s first day of school this year. Miss Angie came over to see him off in the morning.

100: Cried in front of someone: probably a few weeks ago.

99: Went to a movie theater: Twilight Breaking Dawn pt 2.

98: Took a vacation: three years ago.

97: Swam in a pool: probably close to 8 or more years ago.

96: Changed a diaper: 4-5 yrs ago.

95: Got my nails done: professionally? never. By Zane? last weekend.

94: Went to a wedding: three years ago.

93: Broke a bone: never. dislocated shit though.

92: Got a piercing: over a decade

91: Broke the law: probably frequently without realizing it.

90: Texted: couple mins ago.

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: oh I’m a funny bitch

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: nothing? fuck this house. fuck this town. fuck this state. I wanna go HOME home.

87: The last movie I saw: Smokin’ Aces 2

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: my nephew’s birth and the vacation we plan to take to see him!

85: The thing i’m not looking forward to: the travel for the vacation stated above.

84: People call me: a lot of things. most of them true.

83: The most difficult thing to do is: wake up

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus

80: The first person i talked to today was: my husband

79: First time you had a crush: I had a massive crush on Shawn Micheals as a kid.

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my Seester

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: probably someone in the Flanaclan Chapel

76: Right now I am talking to: the Flanaclan on and off

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I’m supposed to grow up?

74: I have/will get a job: yes

73: Tomorrow: is Halloween

72: Today: I’m horny and annoyed

71: Next Summer: is a long time away

70: Next Weekend: work

69: I have these pets: already answered

68: The worst sound in the world: right now I’d have to say it’s Zane clucking his tongue.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself? or more specifically my anxiety brain.

66: People that make you happy: my Flanaclan friends, my bff, my sister.

65: Last time I cried: a few weeks ago

64: My friends are: on the internet and/or mostly too far away

63: My computer is: a hunk of shit laptop

62: My School: never going ever again.

61: My Car: looks like the car emoji.

60: I lose all respect for people who: beat animals

59: The movie I cried at was: recently? Up

58: Your hair color is: brown

57: TV shows you watch: SOA, SVU, SWAT, wrestling, Wynonna Earp, Van Helsing, Supernatural

56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube

55: Your dream vacation: Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, all that.

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: dislocating my knee

53: How do you like your steak cooked: med rare

52: My room is: some boring off-white

51: My favorite celebrity is: Tommy Flanagan

50: Where would you like to be: New Hampshire

49: Do you want children: I have 1 and that’s 1 too many.

48: Ever been in love: yup

47: Who’s your best friend: didn’t I already answer this?

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls nowadays. guys around here suck.

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: reading Chibs fics, staring at Flanagan

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Flanagan

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: hell no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I did not.

40: Last person I got mad at: me

39: I would like to move to: for the millionth time, New Hampshire

38: I wish I was a professional: dog sitter/walker

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour Patch Watermelons

36: Vehicle: 90′s Ford Ranger, Jeep Renegade, Jeep Wrangler, Jeep Gladiator, Ford Shelby GT350R 

35: President: certainly not the fuckin’ current one.

34: State visited: Massachusetts

33: Cellphone provider: Verizon

32: Athlete: Aleister Black, Drew McIntyre, Luchasaurus, Sonny Kiss (and fuck you if you try to tell me they aren’t athletes)

31: Actor: Tommy Flanagan

30: Actress: Millie Bobby Brown

29: Singer: Ville Valo

28: Band: HIM

27: Clothing store: don’t care.

26: Grocery store: don’t care.

25: TV show: Law & Order: SVU (as much as I’d love to say SOA, Law & Order was my first real love)

24: Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You

23: Website: tumblr, youtube

22: Animal: dogs, wolves

21: Theme park: Zoos

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: professional wrestling, football, hockey

18: Sport to play: nothing that requires that much energy

17: Magazine: don’t read them much

16: Book: the House Of Night series and sequel series by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast (I don’t care that I’m probably too old for them now, I love them)

15: Day of the week: Saturday

14: Beach: Hampton Beach, NH

13: Concert attended: 69 Eyes headlined (opening with Night Kills The Day, then Fair To Midland which were fine but also Wednesday 13!!!!!)

12: Thing to cook: fajitas

11: Food: apple fritters/apple cider donuts

10: Restaurant: Panda Express I suppose.

9: Radio station: WGFA

8: Yankee candle scent: Midsummers Night

7: Perfume: don’t wear perfume so much as body spray and it’s usually something like cucumber melon or some baked goods scent.

6: Flower: Tiger Lillies

5: Color: Green- specifically Forest/Hunter

4: Talk show host: idk I used to watch Maury all the time, does that count?

3: Comedian: George Carlin

2: Dog breed: Pittie mixes, mutts, labs, medium to big short haired breeds

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes I did.

[agentdagonet]

The Demon Lo

Tagging @elletromil and @insanereddragon 

Find it here on AO3

Am I really going to summon a fucking demon to get Harry back?

Yes I fucking am.

         Eggsy’d spaced out the purchases of supplies, as if things like planks of wood and paint and candles were somehow illicit. He looked down at the Book, the one reptilian eye gazing back from the cover, and then glanced around the room. The windows were fully covered, the wood barely visible in the candlelight; the carpet pulled up to reveal the wood beneath, upon which the Circle was painted- an inverted pentagram, surrounded by a snake eating its own tail, and outside of that six tall white candles placed equidistant from each other. There were other things drawn in the spaces between pentacle and snake, the small can of paint, and a paintbrush. The property damage would probably cost him his life’s savings and then some, but it would be worth it.

         Harry was worth everything.

         Eggsy sat himself in the middle of the Circle, and took a deep breath before opening the Book. Counting to himself, he glanced back and forth from the floor, making sure that each thing was perfect. He turned the page, and cursed to himself before scrambling up from the floor and dashing into the kitchen, knocking a candle over in his haste.

         Can’t summon a demon without blood, after all.

         Reseating himself, Eggsy stared blankly into the distance. Am I really going to summon a fucking demon to get Harry back? He looked longingly at the front door, imagining for a moment that Harry would simply stroll through as if he hadn’t been gone for nearly half a year. He couldn’t imagine continuing on as if he had never existed, since no one else seemed to think it was a big deal that he’d gone missing. Maybe he just got tired of you, Eggsy, it ain’t like you’re anythin’ special. Ryan had said, knocking one shoulder with his own and laughing. He and Jamal had tried a lot of shit to cheer him up, but Eggsy couldn’t forget him.

         His chestnut hair, the little wrinkles at the edges of his eyes and mouth, his penchant for soft-yet-ugly cardigans and bitter tea… his dark sense of humour, the earnest way he offered to run someone through for insulting him, the glint in his eye just before he did something he ought not to and managed to pass the blame on to some hapless passerby. Harry had been gone for just about as long as Eggsy had known him, and yet he couldn’t remember what his life was like before he stumbled into it.

         Yes I fucking am.

         He pushed the Book off to one side, revealing a painted eye, and took a sharp breath as he dragged the blade across his left palm. He compulsively closed his hand as the blood welled up, as if pressure alone could seal the wound, but didn’t move it from above the eye. This was important, so Eggsy lifted the book into one hand, leaving his blood dripping into the eye from the other, and began to chant.

‘Bin tu Skamp Li

Bin Ramé freey Li

Crem list skamp Li

Lo

Fige grest ramé tu

Fige whuhd solk

Bin Crame cramé ot

Lo

Bin Crame cramé ot

Lo

Bin Crame cramé ot

Lo!’

         He paused, looking about wide-eyed at the empty apartment, but nothing had changed. No one was there. Not like he knew what a demon would look like, anyway, but still. Eggsy put down the book, running one finger over the words written there. Had he pronounced them wrong? Maybe google wasn’t the best way to check pronunciation of words he did not know the language of, but it’s not as if he could walk into a bookshop and ask how to pronounce this demon summoning ritual because that’s something that would easily raise a few eyebrows, and likely get his head examined. He turned the page, wondering if there was more he had not  seen, and instead came across visual instructions.

         ‘Stab the bloody eye? Alrigh’ I guess.’ Grabbing the knife he had set aside earlier firmly in his uninjured hand, Eggsy stabbed it firmly into the floor. Of course it did not stick- for all the sharpness of the blade, the tip was dull. Kitchenware. But the candles went out in a gust of wind that simply was not possible from within his sealed apartment, and he knew he had accomplished something- whether it was the desired result remained to be seen.

         ‘The fuck’s my lighter?’ Eggsy patted down his pockets, eventually pulling free a small lighter and relit the candles. In the dim light, Eggsy was not  sure what was coming toward him- only that something was, close to the ground, accompanied by a sound not unlike a Jurassic Park raptor for whatever reason. It had slow, wet, footsteps, followed by something not  unlike dragging a bag across dead leaves. The closer it got the more distinct the dinosaur noises became.

         Moaning. Pained, inhuman, moaning getting nearer with every passing moment.

         The candles showed an increasingly disturbing image- the torso of a man, skin waxy and grey like a corpse, whose arms were covered in a stringy mould. Its bald head had no back, instead gaping open grotesquely, and when the creature finally looked up the eyes were sunken in and the lipless mouth idly dripped blood. It had no nose, and its skin reminded Eggsy of the infected people from Waters of Mars- and Eggsy would have chuckled if he had not  been desperately gasping for breath in a bid not to pass out from sheer panic.

         He had actually managed to summon a demon, and now he had to finish it- or die trying.

--

         It’s for Harry he repeated to himself like a mantra is it got closer at the end of all this you will have Harry back and you will live happily ever after. Realistically, Eggsy knew that that was unlikely- even his friendships had bad times- but he needed to see this through.

         The creature leaned forward, far too close for comfort, and laughed slowly. It reverberated as if in a cavern, tri-toned and ominous, as his rancid breath hit Eggsy’s face.

         ‘A-a-a-are you th-the demon Lo? You the demon Lo?’

         ‘I. Am. That.’ The voice was hoarse, rumbling, and his breath was no better than it was a second before.

         ‘You-you have. Great power?’

         ‘This. I. Know.’ He lifted one webbed hand for a moment, summoning for itself a small green creature, rat-like but not a rat, and slowly closed his fist. The rat-thing curled in on itself, squealing, before the skull popped with a wet noise. Lo opened his hand, blew across the palm, and his eyes seemed to light up for a moment. ‘This, I know.’ He laughed again, the vastness of the room slowly fading, and Eggsy felt lightheaded from trying not to gag.

         ‘Now clean the shit from your trousers and tell me what you want.’ Lo propped himself on his elbows, hands clasped together, and tilted his head to one side. Remarkably like a girl at a sleepover, or chatting on the phone, in a film.

         ‘A- a man.’

         ‘You summoned me for love ?’

         ‘Yes.’ As if there were anything else worth risking a soul for. Lo lifted himself onto his hands, leaning close to the Circle but not crossing it, and glared harshly at Eggsy.

         ‘You would utilise my great power over such… human trivialities?’

         ‘You- you have to do what I say. That’s what the Book said.’

         ‘Oh, look at you pretending to be brave. What’s your name?’

         ‘Eg-Gary. Gary.’ Names had power, in all the old faerie stories, and panic was no excuse to give a demon the name he felt was his own. He doubted it would mean much- he was protected, inside the Circle, after all- but still. It would help keep him focused on getting Harry back.

         ‘Well that’s an awful name, far too breakfast-y. Doesn't suit your inevitable future at all! Allow me to fit you in something more bespoke ... Dinner.’ Lo’s head tilted at an angle that made his gaping mouth almost seem to smirk, one hand gesturing in his general direction. Eggsy swallowed thickly.

         ‘It's Gary.’

         ‘Dinner, you have to let go of the past-’ Lo pointed with one thick finger, looking for all the world like one of those Uncle Sam posters he had seen on Tumblr.

         ‘I summoned you, yeah? You gotta do what I say- obey my charge or whatever the book said.’ Shoulders back, neck straight, meet their eyes- everything Harry had told him about talking with someone he was intimidated by. Someone he thought better than himself for whatever fucking reason- or, he guessed, someone he was absolutely scared shitless of.

         ‘While that may technically true, but that does not mean that I have to respect you- and if given the opportunity I would wholeheartedly make your new name a prophecy fulfilled.’

         ‘I-I am no’ afraid of you.’ Maybe it was a stupid idea to deny the obvious to a powerful demon, Eggsy thought to himself as Lo reared back. The room shook, and Eggsy had a split second thought to his neighbours banging on his door demanding an explanation for all the racket.

         ‘Yes. You are.’

         ‘Well it would be fucking stupid not to be, yeah? You’s a demon and I'm not even just a person but an estates kid without any connections or silver spoons to beg from. But I've got the Book, and I've got this Circle, and you just said you got to do what I say so stop goin’ on your fuckin’ power trip and listen to me.’ Eggsy took a deep breath, instantly regretting it when he could taste the demon rot in the air, and glared defiantly at Lo.

         Who summarily ignored his statements and was blandly looking about the room.

         ‘Where the fuck am I?’

         ‘My flat. The estates.’

         ‘Oooooooh, dramatic!’ Lo waved one hand about flamboyantly, looking back to Eggsy with the skin above one eye socket raised. A parody of a raised brow, mouth pulled up to one side, he tilted his head. ‘Mind if I make a few… changes?’ He did not give Eggsy a chance to respond before flicking his wrist and looking up to the ceiling, a pale blue spotlight landing on him with an angelic choir backing his dramatic turn back to Eggsy. ‘Where’d a kid like you get a book like that, exactly?’

         ‘I ain’t a kid- and… it ain’t mine.’

         ‘No, really? And here I had you pegged for a proper Warlock.’

         ‘It belonged to ‘im.’ Eggsy was back on task, and pulled a photo from the back cover of the Book. Harry, smiling widely and failing to hide that smile behind a coffee mug, taken their first morning together. The first time Eggsy’d realised there was a hole in his life that had just been filled.

         ‘I could say he was handsome, but I would be lying- it's not a very good picture, is it?’

         ‘Do you know ‘im?’ Ask questions plainly, demand plain answers in return. Harry’s words echoed in his mind. But Lo shook his head, looking off to one side and refusing to make eye contact.

         ‘No.’

         ‘You’re lying!’

         ‘I warn you, Dinner- trying to get a read on a demon is a thorny game; we don’t play by your human rules.’

         ‘You took him.’ Confidence is key; don’t flounder in the face of what you don’t understand.

         ‘I took him?’

         ‘Well, maybe not you specifically but you fucking demons did. Your People, or whatever the fuck you call yourselves.’

         ‘I knew you were racist-’

         ‘Look, Harry was taken by some… some thing and I’ve got the scars to prove it.’ Eggsy angrily pulled off his shirt, balling it in his fist. There were deep red scars across his torso, reminiscent of the tears through canvas in Beauty and the Beast. They’ve seemingly healed, but still had the angry tinge of infection- and the stiff way Eggsy was sitting is suddenly attributed to more than nerves.

         ‘You sure it wasn’t a wolf? A bear? Perhaps a particularly angry thorned bush?’

         ‘I’m not a fucking idiot- I may be a speck on this planet, a bit of dust you’re gonna outlive and watch decay, but I’m not dumb enough to summon a fucking demon if I weren’t sure that’s what took him. It took him, and I was dying, but I woke up and Harry was still gone.’

         ‘It took him, it took him, my Harry's gone,’ Lo mocked, voice high pitched and hand waving about aimlessly, ‘look, I’ll give you some free advice: page 303. Close this ridiculous venture before I get hungry. Give up, and move on.’

         Eggsy kept eye contact with the hideous creature, and instead of turning the pages as instructed he instead pulled the photo from the book and shut it. Eggsy tapped the cover with two fingers, almost glaring at Lo, and spoke softly, ‘I’m not leaving here without him.’

         It was an eternity later that Lo shook his head, breaking their eye contact and sighing sadly.

         ‘Look, Dinner, I’m only going to say this once more- if what you’re saying’s true, and I’m sure it is, then you’re fucked. Raw and hard. You don’t just get out of Hell.’

         ‘Then I want to see him, and we’ll figure out the rest together.’

         ‘Well it’s not as if I know the man-’

         ‘His name’s Harry, he’s-’

         ‘Yes, yes, I know- he’s the moon and stars in the sky, the wind beneath your wings, and the rain that brings the flowers. Look, I am positive that you two had a deep and pure emotional connection,’ Lo sneered, ‘but Hell isn’t a park or some small town isolated from the rest of creation. It’s a large place, with more within than you could count in your lifetime, that’s been around since the dawn of your pathetic species. And we don’t keep records.’

         ‘Then I’ll wait.’

         ‘What?’ Lo looked at him incredulously.

         ‘I’ll stay right here while you go and look for ‘im. He’s worth it, and he’d’ve done the same for me.’

         ‘For how long? Until your need to piss and shit drives you to close the circle because of your human sensibilities? Until your body gives out, and you faint from malnutrition and inevitably cross the paltry protection you’ve painted? And let us not forget my own schedule, it’s not as if demons sit idly.’ Lo turned his face away, and began making as if to leave.

         ‘I’m in charge here, ain’t I?’ Lo grunted, but continued to pull himself away from Eggsy. ‘Oi, I’m not talkin’ to the air here- I’m the master and you’ve got to do as I say!’

         ‘The thing you ask for is IMPOSSIBLE!’ Lo growled, glaring at Eggsy as he twisted impossibly backward to address him. He would have shuddered, if he hadn’t been so determined to not show weakness.

         ‘An’ yet I’m still askin’ for it. So you’ve got to at least try. ’ Lo froze, growled low in his throat and then roared at Eggsy. The circle only protected him from physical threats, and the smell of rancid meat washed over him like an unfortunate rainstorm. He closed his eyes, waited for the ringing in his ears to stop, and determinedly stared Lo down. ‘I’m waiting.’

         ‘Frightened children ought not play with pentagrams; weren’t you ever warned against Ouija boards?’

         ‘Mighta been, but once impossible shit started happening I threw those rules out the window.’

         ‘If you so much as scrape the edge of your circle with your toes I will swallow you whole and you will have the pleasure of enduring a 90 year digestion. The acids in my stomach are unforgiving, and an idiotic specimen like yourself will likely cause some indigestion, but I am willing to make that sacrifice.’ Lo rears back, snake-like, twisting his head from side to side as if deciding from which angle to strike. Eggsy lifted the picture once again, as if his first instructions to the demon were simply forgotten as opposed to rebelled against.

         Lo rolled himself partially onto his back and cursed at the ceiling before turning back to Eggsy. He smiled, or as close as he could get without lips or teeth. ‘Harry!’ There was obviously an exasperated air to the exclamation, but Eggsy couldn’t hope for better than that from this arsehole of a demon.

         ‘Harry. Hart.’

         ‘Like that thing that keeps your soul in you and outside of Hell?’

         ‘Like a deer, actually.’

         ‘Well that’s a stupid name for a human- why name someone after physical traits and animals?’ Lo muttered seemingly to himself, though it was just loud enough for Eggsy to hear. ‘Tell me about him.’ He propped his head on his hands, blinking innocently, and Eggsy was struck by the image of teens gossiping.

         ‘Just find him, what do you need me talkin’ about him for?’

         ‘I’m simply trying to fulfil your request, master. The better versed I am in your arthurian knight, the better equipped I’ll be in parsing out which he is amongst the trillions of bits of dark matter that float about in eternal torment.’

         ‘Oh.’ Eggsy didn’t want to think about what Harry must be enduring, what horrors he must have been facing since he’d been taken, but the reminder did nothing if not motivate him into sharing.

         ‘Precisely. Oh.’

         ‘What d’you need to know, then?’

         ‘Details. Emotional ones, a full dossier, as much as you can pull from your miniscule brain. I want to feel as you do; I need to feel the pain that’s driven you to me.’

         ‘Uh, well, he’s nearly 2 metres, mid fifties, light brown hair with silver at the edges-’

         ‘STOP.’ Eggsy’s mouth clicked shut, teeth grinding against one another as he did his best not to panic. ‘For fuck’s sake, Dinner, how dim can you get? I said emotional details. I want to know how you met, how you ate, how you fought and kissed, fucked and spoke and insulted and loved.’ Lo spat the last word like a curse. ‘I’m not casting a film, I don’t need his resume- what I need is everything.’

         ‘So… you want details .’ Eggsy stuttered, simultaneously disgusted by having to share his desires with a demon and relieved that what he asked for was so simple to share. It wasn’t like he was comfortable with it, but there were worse things than reminiscing about the man he loved with a Demon. He assumed.

         ‘Yes,’ Lo pointed at Eggsy, ‘thank you for joining the rest of the class.’

         ‘You want to know how we first met?’

         ‘By George, I think he’s got it!��

         ‘Don’t you quote My Fair Lady at me- anyway, I was on break at the Prince-’ There’s a great whooshing sound, and Lo’s attention is drawn to a spot behind Eggsy. Turning around, there’s a projection on the wall matching Eggsy’s memory. The dim lighting, the quiet bustle of the pub, and there- Eggsy, sat alone in a booth, staring out the window with a dish of chips on the table. Eggsy, sat in the circle, looked toward Lo in question, one brow raised.

         ‘It’s flashback time!’ Lo lifted one arm from the ground, giving some jazz hands in a manner Eggsy could only describe as sarcastic. ‘Ta-da!’

         ‘That’s me? But I haven’t told you anythin’ yet!’

         ‘No, that’s me and my phenomenal cosmic powers pulling the thoughts from your brain and projecting them onto that wall.’ Eggsy looked at Lo in horror- he could pull the thoughts from his mind? He could read his mind this whole time? ‘I know, right?’ Lo seemingly misinterpreted his silence for awe, pulling a bowl of popcorn from seemingly nowhere. ‘Now keep your mouth shut, and your eyes open- and let’s see what happens.’

--

         There was something inherently fascinating about seeing himself from the outside. Eggsy hadn’t realised how depressed he’d looked, staring idly out the window and running a finger along the rim of his pint, completely ignoring his chips. From the edge of the projection, Harry walked into view, stunning in his suit and carrying a briefcase the way one would carry an explosive- with great care.

         ‘Hello.’ Harry was staring intently at the chips on the table, but his eyes flickered toward Eggsy every few moments.

         ‘Uhm, hi?’ Eggsy looked briefly from the window, visibly doing a double take when he actually bothered to take in the man before him.

         ‘Are those any good, here?’

         ‘I guess?’ In truth Eggsy hadn’t even touched them, though he liked them plenty on the regular, and he wished he could remember what he’d been looking at before the man stood before him.

         ‘Would it be terribly impolite of me to try one?’ Eggsy could only stare dumbfounded at the man, whose suit easily displayed the differences in their lifestyles, ‘your silence says yes, sorry about that-

         ‘Wait!’ Eggsy blurted, mouth obviously ahead of his brain by the shock in his eyes, ‘You can try some, if you want.’

         ‘That sounds lovely.’ Harry tucked himself gracefully into the bench across from Eggsy, setting the brief beside him before reaching deftly toward the plate. The first chip seemed to bring Harry to life, as he closed his eyes and nearly moaned. ‘ Shit this is divine!’  Harry’s mouth was still full, but Eggsy couldn’t find it in himself to be disgusted. Harry reached again, this time taking several, and shoved them into his mouth like a toddler.

         ‘Would you like some fresh?’ There was something entrancing about seeing a man so wholly enjoy something so simple. Eggsy couldn’t look away, and even cracked a grin at the way the man’s head nodded enthusiastically. He called over to the bar, gesturing for another round, and turned back to watch Harry eat. The man was so focused on the flavours in his mouth, eyes closed, and Eggsy couldn’t help but drink him in.

         ‘I thought you was eating alone, Eggy?’ Rottie dropped the plate the last couple inches to the table, causing a couple chips to fall off.

         ‘I am- or, well, I was- that a problem?’ Rottie rolled his eyes, looked at Harry like he was a particularly fascinating bit of shit on the ground, and walked off. Eggsy looked back to Harry, eyes wide when he realised how much of the cold chips he’d devoured in the course of that small conversation. Harry noticed his look, and seemed to come back to himself.

         ‘Oh, shit, I do apologise. I didn’t mean to-’

         ‘Don’t sweat it, honest. I wasn’t all that hungry anyway. I did order some more, though, so feel free to stick around.’ Eggsy lightly pushed the warm dish in his direction.

         ‘I don’t remember to eat very often, much more important things to me done- though I’m trying to break that habit.’ Harry shovelled the last of the cold chips into his mouth, but not before looking toward the door.

         ‘Mate, are you avoiding summat?’

         ‘Well, I’m on the run, if that’s what you’re asking- but nothing to worry about.’ Eggsy gaped at the man, mouth open to offer a listening ear if nothing else, when the man began to chuckle. ‘No, dear boy, I’m not in any kind of trouble- I simply admired the way you were holding yourself. Stunning- though I will admit, I was spurred to action by the chips sitting ignored in front of you.’

         Eggsy laughed nervously, looked about the pub as if searching for some hidden camera, before asking, ‘well, how was I holding myself, then?’

         The man across from him was still for a moment, and then slouched slightly; he turned his head slightly toward the window, allowed his lips to turn slightly upward, and seemed to soften his eyes somehow. The light hit him at such an angle that the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were simultaneously highlighted and breathtaking, the shadow of his glasses somehow highlighting his cheekbones.

         Eggsy forgot to breathe.

         The man straightened himself back up, the world restarted, and Eggsy giggled.

         ‘You’re laughing at yourself?’

         ‘Well I doubt I looked half as elegant as you, but yeah. This whole moment’s a bit funny to me-’

         ‘How so?’

         ‘You’ve got to be at least twenty years older than me, never seen you ‘round here before so you’re new, you took notice of a pleb like me and just started talkin’, and then you act as if you’ve never has chips before-’

         ‘I haven’t, until today- I must say I enjoy them far better hot than cool.’ Harry looked so earnest, it was hard not to laugh- so he huffed a breath instead.

         ‘See, that! That right there is ridiculous how can anyone not’ve had chips before?’ Instead of seeming hurt, the man seemed pleased, and leant forward a fraction.

         ‘I had a rather… secluded upbringing. My family was very particular in what was what, and until this morning I had never thought to try the things they’d forbidden me. So this,’ Harry grabbed a chip, and smiled, ‘is my rebellion.’

         ‘You’re a bit old for rebellion- ain’t that a teenager thing?’

         ‘And yet you don’t strike me as very conforming yourself- and that’s… oddly wonderful.’

         ‘I can about guarantee there ain’t anythin’ wonderful about me- but I don’t like rules much.’ Eggsy smiled, ran one hand up the back of his head before suddenly remembering himself and offering his hand. ‘I’m Eggsy, by the way.’

         ‘Eggy?’

         ‘Nah, mate, with an s. Eggsy.’

         ‘Eggsy… Eggsy …’ Harry seemed to be rolling the name about his mouth like posh folk tasted wine- and he seemed poshh enough so maybe he was. ‘Peculiar. I like it.’

         ‘Thanks- and you are...?’

         ‘I am what?’ The man blinks, doe eyed, and Eggsy can’t help the laugh bubbling out of him again.

         ‘Your name, can’t keep calling you chips-man in my head.’ Eggsy joked, and Harry’s eyes widened for a moment before he began muttering to himself; though Eggsy of the present, sat in the circle, could hear him plain as day.

         ‘Eyesearsmouthnosehair- Harry.’ Only the last was said loud enough for Eggsy-at-the-table to hear, and they shook hands.

         ‘STOP!’ Lo roared, and the memory froze. Lo had one hand raised and was waving it about not unlike Hermione Granger. ‘Oh! Ohh pick me, pick me! Dinner, pick me, I have a question!’ Eggsy looked over to the demon, and raised an eyebrow. ‘Did your sugar daddy just make up his name?’

         Eggsy looked down, unable to really dispute Lo with the given facts, but remembered suddenly- demon. ‘He weren't no sugar daddy, and you’re trying to trick me. Get me to go along with whatever it is you think about him so I’ll just let you go!’ Lo scoffed.

         ‘Tricking you? If that were my intention it would be far plainer- for example,’ Lo flicked his wrist, and the figures from the memory began to move again. Harry leant over the table fully, grabbed at the front of Eggsy’s shirt and pulled him across the table and slammed their mouths together. Eggsy flailed for a moment before draping his arm over Harry’s shoulders and giving all his weight to the older man.

         ‘Stop. Just- stop.’

         ‘What? Things not going according to plan?’

         ‘Play the scene right, or don’t do it at all. I thought you needed to know him like I did?’

         ‘That’s your responsibility, not mine. And you need to be open to seeing things a bit… differently. Experiencing your life in the moment is far different from remembering it.’ Lo gestured toward the memory, reset to the two men shaking hands above the tabletop.

         ‘Great to meet you, Harry- I’m gonna go settle my tab and head out. Got to get back to work.’

         ‘Why? That sounds tedious.’ Harry cocked his head to one side, as if genuinely confused by the notion of working, and it set Eggsy snapped.

         ‘Not everyone gets shit on a silver platter, Harry. We have to fucking work for it, and keep going when it look like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel because people are bloody counting on us. If people in their ivory towers,’ Eggsy mocked, ‘knew even a fraction of what us regular people do to get by, if they really got it, this place,’ he swung his arm, gesturing aimlessly, ‘would be so much better.’

         ‘The protection of one’s own is, of course, invaluable- I apologise for causing offense.’ Harry pulled the briefcase closer to himself, scooting to the end of the table as if to leave, and Eggsy deflated.

         ‘No, no I’m sorry. I didn’ mean to go off on you like that. I forgot myself for a moment there;’ Eggsy hunched in on himself, both hands in pockets, ‘what’s in the case? Sorry, not my place-’

         ‘A collection of sheets with writing on them- terribly boring, I assure you.’

         ‘What, classified or somethin’?’

         ‘Or something.’ Harry smiled with closed lips, and something imperceptible changed. He could feel it. In the kitchen, a glass shattered, and Harry practically leapt to his feet. Eggsy flinched, took a step back, and Harry seemed to come to himself- though he still kept a tight grip on the briefcase. ‘I- I’m sorry…’ Harry fell back into the booth, head hung low, case tucked betwixt his legs, and sighed deeply. Eggsy looked torn, glancing between the door and the man he’d so strangely befriended several times before shaking his head, stepping forward.

         ‘You okay?’

--

         ‘Weird man.’ Lo spoke up from behind him, and Eggsy turned.

         ‘Well, yeah, he’s different- but tha’s part of why I fell arse over tit for him so quick. There ain’t nothing else like him.’

         ‘Fell? Humanity’s always so dramatic- you talk of love as if it’s a ten story drop. No wonder it always ends in tears- or,’ Lo paused, ‘in lost souls.’ He lifted a hand, and something in the air jerked Eggsy’s head to one side, which brought him face-to-cover with an old book. A familiar, old, book. The Tragic History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus. Being held up by two long, green, fingers.

         The book lowered, and Eggsy jumped back- only by chance does he not leave the circle- the green hands belong to a bald, scaled man, with horns like a dinosaur and a short beak, whose eyes seem to be backward. The bits that should hold them inside of his head were dangling down his face, scraping the edge of his jaw, and Eggsy can’t bring himself to breathe for fear or retching.

         ‘What’re you gasping about? Oh, the face; you humans are always so disgusted by shit you don’t understand. Have you ever actually read this book, lad?’ The demon (for what else could he be?) tapped the front cover with a clawed finger, ‘It’s actually a comedy, if you read it right.’ He extended the hand that had been on the book, stopping just before the circle. ‘Pleasure.’

         Eggsy glanced at the hand before forcing himself to make back-of-eye contact with the demon, and shook his head.

         ‘So there’s a brain hidden behind the stupid face, well done.’ The hand pulled back, and the demon reached for the strands of innards that hung from his face before tugging on them sharply. There was a pop and Eggsy gagged, somehow unable to look away from the horrifying image of eyeballs being swung back and forth with nary a care before being shoved back into the scaled man’s head. He paused, looked pointedly at Eggsy, and sighed. ‘I put all this effort into my face and you can’t even pay me a compliment? And I had such hopes for our grand reunion.’

         ‘You-’

         ‘Correct; I’m the one who came ‘round and scooped your man from your arms and dragged him all. The. Way. Down.’

         ‘You’re the one that tried to kill me!’ Eggsy lifted his shirt, once again revealing the angry red across his torso, and the new demon examined it like a fine painting.

         ‘It’s Merlin to you- and It’s a pity you survived; that’s good work put to waste.’ Merlin gestured at Eggsy vaguely, ‘Your blood was like a fine brandy- something I needed to savour. ’ He lifted a hand, scraping fingers across his lip as if remembering the feel of flesh upon flesh.

         ‘You took Harry.’

         ‘I don’t enjoy repeating myself, lad, but yes. I did. And I was rewarded for it… handsomely.’ Merlin tapped a spot on his chest, and Eggsy was surprised to find a military uniform- a decorated one, with a series of medals he couldn’t figure out the meanings of if he tried. A green hand fingered a medal fondly, pink and gold with a V in the centre, as if to show Eggsy that this one was what he was given for dragging Harry into Hell.

         ‘Bring him back!’

         ‘I don’t think I will.’

         ‘Please!’

         ‘Not the kind of begging I’m after. You summoned Lo, not I, and I’m not at all inclined to do as you ask.’

         ‘Then I’ll-’ Eggsy pulled the Book from behind him, ‘I’ll summon you!’

         ‘And it seems the brain has leaked from between your ears- you can’t summon more than one demon at once! It would be like trying to save two people with one parachute- messy, improbable, but impressive if successful.’

         ‘Well, the fuck’re you here then if I ain’t your master?’

         ‘As if I would relinquish the chance to meet a celebrity- you’re the mortal that tamed the beast!’

         ‘What’re you on about?’

         ‘Don’t deny the facts, boy, you know what I mean.’ Merlin knelt closer, one clawed hand scraping the floor just beside the circle, ‘you know.

         ‘I’ve passed by and through and touched more humans than you could imagine- I’ve even held emotions for them. Disgust, pity, maybe a healthy bit of hunger;’ Merlin turned away, seemingly speaking into the abyss, ‘but the one thing I’ve never come close to feeling for a human is love. Oh, there were certainly a handful of physically attractive ones but they never survived long enough to enjoy ;’ He spat the last word, pointing at Eggsy accusingly, ‘that’s why it’s so strange.’

         ‘What’s strange?’

         ‘That it fell in love with you. ’

         ‘It?’

         ‘The thing you call Harry.’

         ‘Harry ain’t an it!’

         ‘Don’t interject without the facts, lad, it makes you look dumber than you already do. Foolhardy and ignorant- childish.’ Merlin smirked, or as close to an approximation of a smirk that a partially-beaked green scaled demon could accomplish. ‘I’m going to tell you a story, and maybe by the end of it you’ll have some brains.

         ‘Once upon a time, long before you lot made the stunning discovery that the world wasn’t flat, there was a war. It wasn’t the kind of war you’d keep histories of, there were few if any survivors and it was before recording events even became commonplace, but it was brutal. It was beautiful, and a demon wandering the remains stumbled upon one survivor- and stuffed his heart into a rock.

         ‘Demons are born from hatred, from suffering, from a desire to see retribution; that lone human was angry enough to spit fire- so the rock did. The man died, buried in the rubble, and his rage lived on- Harry lived on.’ Merlin paused, and somehow Eggsy was grateful for that- everything he knew told him to ignore everything the demon said, and yet… he spoke with such authority. Maybe it was only half true- maybe the story was true, but he was trying to make Eggsy believe it was Harry to make him let Lo go.

         That had to be it.

         ‘What left the battlefield that day became the gold standard for demons- Harry rewrote the rule book and set every record. He was a legend, still is in some circles, known for having no mercy and the highest soul count. He was born from a dying soldier’s lust for revenge, and had no use for the rest of the organ he’d been born from.

         ‘Until you.’

         ‘If Harry had no heart, no love, no mercy, then the fuck was he doing wandering about with this Book in a suitcase?’ Eggsy lifted the Book in one hand and glared accusingly at Merlin, who rolled his eyes (would they pop back out?) and knelt back to the ground.

         ‘At some point or another, something changed. He started caring,’ Merlin spat, and Eggsy wiped at his face, ‘he started trying to curtail visits topside. Tried to use what weight his name carried to change things, things that didn’t need changing, and he grew frustrated when no one wanted to follow him.’ Merlin shrugged with one shoulder, and looked away. ‘So he left, grabbed the Book and the case and ran as quietly as he could.

         ‘Had he not been the best, we’d have caught him before he made it topside; but he made it out, and we were left scrambling after him.’

         ‘The fuck’d you care that he didn’t want to do that shit anymore? Ain’t that his business?’ Eggsy forwent arguing that the demon was trying to trick him, that was a demon’s prime directive. What purpose was there in arguing that?

         ‘He has a purpose, a job to do, and he’s necessary even if his... heart... isn’t in it anymore.’ Merlin looked at Eggsy from the corner of one eye, and winked.

         In a blink Merlin was gone and Lo in his place, his enthusiastic clapping coming back threefold from the abyss.

         ‘Oh, bravo, Merlin- encore! What a... lovely... story-’ Lo cut himself off with a laugh, deep and gravelly and inhuman.

         ‘Stop playing with me!’ Eggsy bit out, the hand that he’d drawn blood from earlier clutched to himself. It throbbed, reminding Eggsy that maybe there were better places to draw blood from than the palm of your hand because it was going to hurt for ages.

         ‘I don’t play with my food, Dinner.’

         ‘I ain’t listenin’ anymore- you’re trying to confuse me; trying to get me to give up and let you go and I’m not leaving without Harry.’

         ‘I bring you the demon who literally took your love from your arms, and you bring into question my motives?’ Lo lifted one hand to his chest, lidless eyes somehow sad, and for a fragment of a moment Eggsy considered apologising, but-

         ‘I thought you said you didn’t know him?’

         ‘Surprise! I lied; demon, remember?’

         ‘You disgust me. You’re fucking disgusting.’

         ‘I didn’t think you cared so little for Harry.’ Lo quipped, looking idly at his hand- Eggsy would say he was admiring his nail polish but the thick, pale, slimy appendages simply curved into an end. No nails in sight.

         ‘What?’

         ‘Well to call me disgusting is to call him disgusting- we do, after all, share a species. In case you missed it from that story, demons- all ,’ Lo paused, looking pointedly at Eggsy, ‘demons will torture, slaughter, and rape. It’s part and parcel to our existence.’

         Eggsy was confused, and angry, and more than a bit frightened- but who wouldn’t be in this kind of a situation? It wasn’t as if there were other people to ask about their experiences summoning demons or books he could check facts against. But he knew Harry. He loved Harry, and if there was one thing he knew, it was that he was worth it all.

         ‘I guess I’ll just reach into the arse of Hell and bring him to you, then.’ Lo laughed, and Eggsy was struck by how it reminded him of the old Mario game, when you fucked up and Bowser laughed at you. Deep and tri-toned and echoing.

         ‘If Harry’s everythin’ you’re saying he is, then where do I fit in?’ It’s quiet, something Eggsy is reluctant to say out loud and especially reluctant to say to a demon, but there weren’t many choices in circumstances like this.

         ‘You … What about you? It’s kind of funny, actually- that heart Harry was born from, it was fickle. Jumped from rage to lust to disappointment in a flash- and, I guess-’

         ‘He loved me.’

         ‘Perhaps- but that doesn’t change the nature of things. The facts are Harry gets restless, gets frustrated with the stagnation of everyone else, calls at all hours I don’t understand- why do I get like this when no one else does!’ Lo mimed holding a telephone, Harry’s voice fell from his lips, and Eggsy’s heart stuttered. ‘And what am I supposed to tell him- it’s not as if I’ve ever felt that way, and one moment he’s a killer- the best- and the next he’s a mess!’ Lo sounds like a frustrated spouse, Eggsy nearly chuckled at the absurdity of it all, and then the demon looked away in a huff, the candles highlighting the downward curve of his lipless mouth.

         ‘You were his friend.’ It’s a statement, not something he had to ask, because no one can talk that emotionally about another being and not be attached in some way, but the way Lo avoided eye contact after said more than words could.

         Lo roared, like rocks tumbling off a mountain.

         ‘No.’

         Eggsy was tired of talking in circles. He was the one in charge here, and maybe he just had to trick him into doing shit on his own. Like Aladdin with Genie.

         ‘You can’t even get him, can you?’ He goaded, leant back on his hands where he sat in the circle. ‘You ain’t strong enough to get the job done.’

         ‘I don’t have the strength?’ Lo glared, and raised himself on his arms until he somehow towered over him.

         ‘You can’t even walk, you fucking cripple-’ Eggsy gagged, his throat closed up with nothing but a twitch of Lo’s hand. Shit. He’d forgotten; demon magic wasn’t stopped by the circle, only their bodies. Only their ability to kill outright- the rest was fair game.

         He’d gone too far.

         ‘Can you feel that?’ It’s said nonchalantly, like asking about the weather, and Eggsy’s eyes bugged open, one hand scrabbling at his neck as if to dislodge his attacker. ‘The essence of my hand ripping through your barrier and crushing your larynx? Maybe I can’t kill you from here, but I can certainly make my displeasure in your living known.

         ‘The sooner I get your lover-demon, the sooner your stench will leave my mouth.’ Lo spat, and shoved himself away from Eggsy; and the moment the hand stopped metaphysically crushing his windpipe he gagged. He spluttered and choked and spat up a bit, wiped the back of a hand across his mouth, and looked up into emptiness.

         ‘Lo? Lo? Lo?! Fuck,’ Eggsy ran a hand through his hair, uncaring of the spittle, and looked about as if he could suddenly see through the pitch-darkness of the In-Between. ‘God damn it. Shit. Fuck. Fuck!’ He was delirious, cursing to himself and pulling at his own hair, on the verge of tears.

         Would this work? Would it be worth it? What kind of a question was that, for Harry it was worth everything, but would Harry think so? If he really was a demon, would that change anything for Eggsy? Could they make something new from the pieces left after all this? Would Harry still want him after he didn’t need to hide anymore?

         Fucking hell… Eggsy’s mouth hadn’t moved, but the words echoed about the space. Shit- who said that? Who is it? I just thought that. Eggsy’s eyes widened.

         It’s saying what I’m thinking- is it reading my mind? Is it in my mind? My thoughts are outside my head what the fuck is going on saysomethingoutloud-

         ‘Fuuuuuuu-’ The sound gave out, choking to a halt, and Eggsy began to panic. Did I just make sounds instead of talking? The fuck was that sound- say a sentence. Come on, Eggsy, say a fucking sentence. ‘ You can go fuck yourself.’ There, that’s a sentence.

         Shit, that’s still in my head.

         Fuck.

         Okay, let’s figure this out, yeah? Why am I hearing my voice outside of my head? Where is it coming from? Eggsy writhed in place, neck cramped, and pulled at his hair with both hands. Ow! Eggsy pulled his hand from his head, looked down, and gaped at the cut from earlier.

         Did that get bigger? The skin opened and closed in time with his thoughts, and Eggsy sucked in a breath through his teeth. His hand was talking to him- his hand was exposing his thoughts to the demons and whatever else was around- his hand was reading his mind and then saying it out loud. Ignore the hand, clear your mind. Like fucking Snape just clear your mind and stop bloody thinking!

…

         This is weird. No luck with ignoring it, so may as well just run with it. Don’t focus on the hand. Let’s figure this shit out.

         Harry’s a demon… he’s always been a demon. Does that mean he didn’t love me? Doesn’t love me? Did he- did he make me love him? Eggsy glared at his hand, pointing angrily with the other.

         ‘That’s fucking ridiculous- I know he loved me. He didn’ say it much but actions are louder than words, yeah? He fucking loved me. And I love him, even with him gone I love him.’

         And yet we’re here, in the middle of hell knows where, trying to strike a deal with a fucking demon after getting told bedtime stories of him killing people for shits and giggles. Innocent people, even.

         ‘That’s the point, tho- stories. They’re stories told by fucking demons to get me to give up. Like them warning stones in Labyrinth; Lo admitted he was lying!’

         And the Book?

         ‘Shit. That’s right. The Book.’

         A human wouldn’t have a book like that- and where’d it come from? Where could he have gotten it from- certainly not Waterstones.

         ‘Hell.’ Eggsy signed, resigned.

         Yeah, Hell. Harry’s from Hell. But does that really change anythin’? He’s obviously the same man, we just got to see his shit in a different light.

         ‘He loved me.’ Whispered, slightly doubtful, as Eggsy stared at one of the candles. Maybe if he just focused on something, anything, else it would stop.

         Did he? Could he? What if you were just the only one dumb enough not to ask questions. Who’d look for a man like that with a pleb like you? He was usin’ you just like Dean used to.

         ‘ That dick!’ It explodes from Eggsy’s lips, unbidden, and he looked around the vacuum his Circle was surrounded by, as if someone would pop out of the woodwork to correct him for being too loud.

         I KNOW!

         ‘ I- I’m talking to myself… through my-’

         ‘Did you miss me?’

         ‘Shut UP. Just- just shut up, brain!’

         ‘As amusing as watching you yell at yourself is, not quite.’ Lo was back, cigarette in hand, the smoke curling far past where his ceiling should be. More unpleasant reminders that Eggsy wasn’t really on Earth anymore.

         Eggsy heaved in a breath, and glanced back and forth from his hand- which had gone silent and the cut had shrunk back to regular size- to Lo.

         ‘Where’d you run off to, then?’

         ‘Needed to ease a little tension.’ Lo waved it about, and Eggsy’s eyes continued to trail the smoke.

         ‘Demons smoke?’

         ‘When will you get it through your thick skull that demons do whatever we damn well please? Besides,’ Lo took a drag, ‘it’s cool.’

         Eggsy was distracted, flexing his fingers and curling his fist as if to try and tease his hand back into talking to him. He couldn’t figure out why he was doing it, outside of an intense desire to not be looking at Lo. Not to be thinking about everything he’d been told.

         ‘The circle’s closing in on you- magic has to draw from somewhere and the longer you sit there the more your brain’s leaking out. Stay there long enough and there won’t be enough left of you to go back; but, as a faint silver lining, I got something for you.’

         ‘Harry?’ Eggsy perked up, his whole body leant forward, and Lo chuckled.

         ‘No. He’s in some high-security lockup and it’ll take more time- but I did bring you some souls to speak in his place!’ A pair of came up against the wall, and kept coming toward them- until they hit a barrier, filmy and red and Eggsy did not want to think about what it was made of. ‘I thought you’d want to know what Harry was going through- so you can help him later, of course.’ Screams echoed, like nails on a chalkboard, and Eggsy held himself as stiff as he could. Barely wanting to look at the humanoid points of darkness against the illuminated flesh- red of the barrier.

         Demons lie. No matter what they said it wasn’t necessarily true. Though, Eggsy knew, all the best lies were built around grains of truth. So what was the truth, here?

         But, as Eggsy listened to the litany of screams and begging, he grew more and more worried for Harry. Cheese graters? Drawn and quartered? Papercuts and lemon juice? Head, still alive, being thrown into a blender? Venom and sleep deprivation and waterboarding- some of these things sounded so mundane, so run-of-the-mill. Eggsy reasoned to himself that it was probably like Prometheus and the bird- beyond painful every time, and just familiar enough to keep you wondering how they’d make it worse this time. Repetitive and horrifying.

         ‘Why are you showing this to me?’ The shadows froze as he spoke, and red dripped where their supposed-bodies pressed against the barrier. As one they cocked their heads to one side, turning toward Lo as if they wondered much the same as he had.

         ‘You want me to find Harry? You want me to give you Harry? Well I want you to know what you’re getting into. What Harry is. He was the best there was- until you.’

         ‘Get rid of them. Send them back.’ It’s a feeble order, and Lo knew it.

         ‘Do it yourself, master.’ Eggsy turned to the shadows, who were pressed eagerly against the barrier as if through will alone they could escape their confines.

         ‘Go back to hell; leave me the fuck alone!’ Eggsy bit out, on the edge of breakdown but with a job left to do.

         ‘You know it’s funny- just think about every time you wished someone to go to hell, and here you are actively witnessing what you’ve wished upon them.’ Lo twirled the end of his cigarette, and the smoke became a set of claws before fading from view. ‘And then you just turned them away- they needed your help, Eggsy.’

         ‘Just shut it and get Harry already.’

         ‘I can’t. And not because I’m a cripple. You want to know why my legs drag behind me like a snake?’ Lo sounded like the Joker in those Dark Knight movies, pleasant and conversational but obviously intending to give a story whether you asked for it or not. ‘I assure you, there are legs back there- and this won’t be a long drawn out sob story like the one Merlin gave you.’

         ‘...I don’t care.’ Eggsy felt empty; at once terrified for Harry, scared of what Harry may well be, and a bone-deep tired he couldn’t quite push through.

         ‘Harry,’ Lo nodded once, looked Eggsy in the eyes, and looked away, ‘my legs were crushed when he was returned. Fitting retribution.’

         ‘...You helped him get out?’ What kind of a relationship did the two of them have, anyway? Calls in the night, an assist in escape, and yet Lo wouldn’t bring Harry to him now?

         ‘A demon, Eggsy, heart or heartless, shouldn’t entertain the idea that love will be the answer to any of its questions. Harry’s home now, where he belongs, but he’s no longer free. He’s trapped by guilt and the sharpest pains in the deepest of the pits- if you could call anyone trapped, it’s him.’ Lo took a breath and looked away. ‘Would you even want to see him again, with everything you’ve seen? Everything you’ve been told? Would you really want to bring him back with you, after all of this?’

         ‘I can’t tell the difference between trick or truth with you, bruv.’

         ‘You weren’t meant to. But the question remains- do you want to see Harry again? If so, all you have to do is… remember.’ Lo gestured back toward the wall, and a new memory began.

--

         It was Christmas, him and Harry sat on the floor like children, and Eggsy had his hands hidden behind his back. He presented the gift to Harry, who took it looking vaguely confused. Within was a small stack of tattered books, Cendrillon and Pygmalion and The Tragic History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus. Harry set the stack between them, hands in his lap as he looked earnestly at Eggsy.

         ‘They’re for you.’

         ‘Books?’

         ‘Have you read this one?’ Eggsy gestured to Faustus, a small smile on his face.

         ‘No.’

         ‘Well it’s good- I figured rare books would be up your alley, what with you keeping that one in your case, and all. They’re not really old, but they’re older than me and I figure that’s something.’

         ‘You thought I’d enjoy enjoy these, so you got them for me?’ Harry sounded as if it was an entirely foreign concept. He was so confused all the time, it was a wonder that he’d made it this far in life without Eggsy around.

         ‘Well, it’s Christmas- it’s what you do.’ Eggsy shrugged, hiding his anxiety in a gentle smile. ‘Do you like ‘em?’

         ‘I think I do- I’ve not read many books outside of my own before. Schooling aside, of course.’ Harry added quickly, eyes doe-like and blinking slowly, so Eggsy let it go. Harry would tell him when he was ready. ‘What’s it about?’ Relationships were all about compromise- his curiosity could wait.

         ‘Well this bloke sells his soul for knowledge and power-’ Harry snorted, interrupting him.

         ‘How foolish. There’s no knowledge worth that much pain at the end of the road.’

         ‘What, you been there or so-’

         ‘Never!’ Harry interrupted Eggsy, whose smile ran from his face. Harry was so sensitive to the strangest things. He added “joking about hell” to his ongoing list of Harry’s Touchy Subjects.

         ‘You’re the strangest thing that’s ever happened to me.’ Eggsy chuckled,smiling softly, and sat expectantly. ‘Well?’

         ‘Well… what?’

         ‘D’you have somethin’ for me?’ Eggsy didn’t much like being rude, or pushy, but he’d learned that beating around the bush didn’t work with Harry- it was speak plainly, or not at all. It was something that’d rubbed him the wrong way at first, but when Harry reminded him that he’d had a very secluded upbringing Eggsy would feel like a tit all over again. So being a little uncomfortable was worth it- one day at a time.

         ‘Oh,’ Harry’s eyes widened, and he smiled sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know that was custom.’

         ‘That’s alright, Harry- I’m just happy to be spending the holiday with you.’ Eggsy was honest; sure he was a little disappointed, but there was never any accounting for what Harry did and did not know. It made Eggsy feel purposed when Harry asked him things, or tried something new just on his recommendation- this was just one of the downsides to being that person. Life’s tiny disappointments.

         ‘I’m so sorry, Eggsy… do you hate me?’ Insecurities be damned, Eggsy couldn’t help but giggle at the look on Harry’s face. The man had to be in his late forties but he looked like a child whose lolly had fallen into the dirt; someone who had had something wonderful and managed to tarnish it without meaning to.

         ‘Course not. Actually,’ Eggsy rubbed at the back of his head, ‘I think I might be- just a little- bit more in love with you than I was before. It’s weird, but you bein’ honest just…’ Eggsy shrugged.

         ‘I’ve told you, I’m a man out of time with strange hobbies,’ Harry gestured to the wall behind them, where a few shadow boxes of butterflies were hanging. ‘But I will never lie to you, if I can help it.’ They kissed, more of a press of lips than anything heated, when suddenly Harry sprung to his feet and dashed from the room, his words echoing back behind him. ‘I do have something for you!’ He was laughing- what a sudden change from the melancholy man who’d kissed him.

         ‘You can’t wrap somethin’ that’s mine, that’s not how it works!’ Eggsy called after him, allowing himself to fall back against the leg of the sofa.

         Harry returned with the briefcase tucked against his chest, the one from the day they’d met, which had been hidden in the back of a closet since he’d moved in. He unlocked it swiftly and pulled out the Book, the one reptilian eye gazing from the cover, looking at if briefly with a calculated gaze before handing it to Eggsy.

         ‘You’re giving me your “or something” book?’

         ‘It’s only fitting, after you’ve gifted me with books.’ Harry looked so at ease, and Eggsy couldn’t help but feel honoured. Harry trusted him with this, with what had to be his most treasured (if not only) possession.

         ‘Touche.’ Eggsy lifted the book, fingering the cover, before Harry’s hand covered his own. Harry used his other hand the lift Eggsy’s chin, and locked eyes with him.

         ‘You must not do that.’

         ‘Read it?’ What use was a book if you didn’t read it? The cover was creepy and definitely not something Eggsy wanted sitting on a shelf where anyone could see it.

         ‘Promise me. Eggsy, promise you will never read that book. Keep it safe, and one day when I’m not around you burn it.’ Harry’s hands framed Eggsy’s face, large and warm and safe. Eggsy gulped.

         ‘What is it?’ It’s asked softly, but Eggsy knew that Harry wouldn’t lie to him. He’d given his word.

         ‘My past- and don’t ever ask that of me again. Just. Please, for me, burn it. Don’t read it, let me be judged for who I am rather than who I have been.’ Harry’s eyes were earnest, and Eggsy couldn’t help but give in. As curious as he was, he loved the man that Harry was now . Yeah, it took a lot to get here, everyone’s made up of their past after all, but Harry would tell him when he was ready.

         What did he need a book for, anyway?

         ‘Promise.’

--

         ‘~Demon~’ Lo sang beneath his breath, head held up in the hand not holding a cigarette.

         Why wasn’t he honest with you? And now the hand was back. Great. He obviously didn’t trust you- not enough.

         ‘He was ashamed-’

         Or he had a plan, and knew what he buttons he had to push to see it through. He could convince you of anything.

         ‘No-’

         You know you couldn’t say no to him- should have been a willow for all you bent to his whims. You’ve been distant with everyone- would your friends even notice if something was wrong? Who would check on you? Harry was everything to you- and he knew it.

         ‘ No- we worked because we were different. We fit. Different puzzles made in the same shape.’

         Because he designed it that way. You were nothing but a disguise. A ruse.

         ‘Just STOP!’ Eggsy closed the sliced-open hand, dug his nails into the wound, and felt tears forming despite himself.

         ‘~The circle’s closing in on you~’ Lo mocked, humming under his breath when Eggsy shot him a glare.

         ‘I’ll manage on my own, thanks.’

         ‘If you had any idea of what your brain was actually doing up there- pah.’ Lo laughed, no less horrifying than before, and Eggsy stared as Lo swirled his finger around his temple in the universal sign for insanity. ‘Idiot.’

--

         A blink, and suddenly there was a man in front of him; older, balding, and laughing sinisterly, a small tray in his hands.

         ‘True on so many levels, Lo. We have, almost always, seen eye-to-eye on these matters.’ The man came to a stop in front of Eggsy, Lo nowhere to be found, with a crystal decanter filled with amber liquid and a glass.

         ‘I know you-’

         ‘I doubt that significantly. Would you like a drink?’ He held up the glass, gestured with the other hand to the decanter.

         ‘What? No.’ Who in their right fucking mind would drink something a demon handed them? Where’d it even come from, anyway?

         ‘Are you positive? I can assure you that this is the finest napoleonic brandy.’

         ‘I bet it is, mate, but I just want Harry. I’m not thirsty.’

         ‘It will be the best thing your uncultured mouth will have ever tasted.’

         ‘I just told you I don’t want a drink- I just want Harry, thanks.’

         ‘Well call it Harry, then,’ the man poured two fingers worth into the glass, ‘and enjoy.’

         ‘I just said I don’t want a fucking drink!’

         ‘It’s not poison.’ Lo reappeared, speaking from behind Eggsy, as the balding man used a crystal rod to push the filled glass across the circle. ‘It weakens the link between your body and soul- I can’t bring Harry to you, you see- you have to go to him.’ Lo’s head twists, snakelike, ‘it’s the only way.’

         ‘You want me to go into hell, outside of this circle, and find Harry on my own?’

         ‘Yes, I do! You’ll be relatively,’ Lo waved a hand in a so-so gesture, ‘unharmed by the fires and woes of Hell by consuming that drink. It’s the only way a living man can pass through, a closely guarded secret; so,’ Lo paused, head cocked to one side, ‘is your sugar daddy worth the risk?’

         Eggsy turned away from Lo, back to the glass, and took a deep breath. Was Harry worth the risk? ‘You think I’ve got anythin’ to lose?’ Eggsy muttered just loud enough for Lo to hear, unintentionally, before picking up the glass and swallowing it in one gulp.

         ‘Fucker lied, that tasted like shit.’ There was a great whooshing sound, and suddenly Lo began to cackle. Like the hyenas in Lion King, Lo rolled upon the floor, and laughter echoed from the rest of the room. The man who had poured the drink, Merlin, the shadows... ‘Why’re you all laughing.’

         ‘I lied. It was poison.’

         ‘I can’t believe you fell for the whole “drink this, and you can walk through hell” bit- thought you had a bit more brains than that.’ Merlin had his arms crossed, and his horned head shook disapprovingly, but his chest shook with laughter. The medals glistened in the candlelight.

         ‘Just. Bring Lo back.’

         ‘I’m not his keeper, I’m not his master.’ Merlin scoffed, but somehow looked disappointed.

         ‘Am I really dying, then?’

         ‘Oh, yes- but slowly. You have time to think, bargain, get desperate… we demons like to watch you twitch.’

         ‘Can I do anything about the dying thing?’ As if a demon would-

         ‘Break the circle. Leave. Get your arse to a hospital and get it pumped out before it’s been too long.’ Merlin implored, surprisingly earnest for a demon who had just earlier said he’d been disappointed that Eggsy had survived their last encounter.

         ‘I thought you heard me when I said I ain’t leaving without him. I don’ see any ears, but you answer everythin’ else just fine.’

         ‘Don’t be cheeky, and stop calling it “he” that’s a prison of human design- demons aren’t defined by something as paltry as what’s between our legs. If we have them.’ There was a pause, Merlin looked away briefly and then turned back to Eggsy. ‘This whole “love” thing,’ he made quotations with his fingers, ‘can you explain it to me?’

         ‘I’m not that great with words, I dunno what to tell you.’ Eggsy was resigned to his fate at this point, death was inevitable because he was an idiot who took what was offered- wasn’t that like rule one of magic? Or was that just faeries?

         But, maybe if he died in hell, he’d be reunited with Harry after all. Well worth all the pain at the end of the road.

         ‘I once tortured a man who said love was like something lodged in your throat you can’t swallow; another like continuously falling from a great height- both sounded unpleasant. Something to be avoided.’

         ‘Those are way too simple, mate,’ This is what’s left of my life now, explaining love to demons, ‘there’s no real way to define it. I mean, all the words in the world ain’t gonna help if you have nothing to base it on. Or something close to it, and you lot already told me that demons don’t love.’’

         ‘Demons can do whatever they want.’ It was defensive, and Eggsy had to breathe out a laugh.

         ‘Yeah, so you’ve said- but then none of you want to love, or you’d’ve figured it out already. You wouldn’t be asking me.’

         ‘Maybe we just want to give all our secrets away.’

         ‘Are you lot secretly five? That’s the logic my little sister uses to pretend she’s cleaned her mess when she’s just tucked it under the rug.’

         ‘Well, fine, maybe we can’t- but it’s a good thing. A blessing, if I can use the word. I mean, look at yourself,’ Merlin gestured vaguely at Eggsy, hunched over in the circle, ‘you’re dying, slowly, in a painted circle in the middle of your apartment- because you loved someone. You’re dying and still you sit here waiting to see him again instead of get yourself to a doctor. At least at the end of this I’m still around- why put yourself through that?’

         ‘Well that’s my secret, then. Takin’ it to my grave- close as it is.’

         ‘Why not just close the circle and be done with it? Get to a hospital, live your life?’

         ‘I’d rather be with Harry, thanks.’ Merlin scoffed, and walked back into the abyss, leaving Eggsy alone with his thoughts. Scattered, but his own.

         Eggsy took a moment to look down at the Book, ran one hand across the incredibly creepy cover, and smiled sadly. Sure, maybe he hadn’t been able to see Harry before he died- but he’d get to see him after. He’d come here with a mission, and he’d never been the type of person to leave a job undone- and what kind of life would be waiting for him without Harry, anyway? The months without him had been empty and faded- who could blame Eggsy for not wanting to go back to that?

         ‘I don’t want to die,’ Eggsy said to the emptiness, ‘but I don’t want to go back, neither. I don’t want to live without him.'

         You had to say it out loud. Eggsy refused to acknowledge the hand this time- if he were dying, he’d do it on his terms and not looking like a nutter yelling at his own hand. You know I can’t leave you alone.

         ‘And you’re exposing my thoughts to everyone!’

         Who? There’s no one here!

         ‘But there will be, you need to stop or- or I’ll- I’ll cut you off!’ Eggsy brandished the knife from the beginning, blood crusted along the edge, and placed it against his wrist. ‘So stop.’

         ‘Are you trying to die more quickly, or is this some pathetic attempt to rid yourself of the poison?’ Lo blinked innocently up at him from his place on the ground, and Eggsy dropped the knife- his hand wasn’t talking anymore.

         ‘You poisoned me.’

         ‘No, Chester did.’

         ‘The fuck’s it matter who poisoned me, the end is the same. Fucking demon poison- but I wanna know: why? Why’d Harry have your page marked? So many bloody demons to choose from, feels like, and you’re the one marked off- why?’ Eggsy would deny he’d begged until his last breath (and that was far too close to contemplate) but he had to know. He needed to know.

         ‘Maybe he found me attractive,’ Lo framed his face between his mottled hands, blinking as if to flutter nonexistent eyelashes, ‘or maybe he just threw a marker into the Book in a rush and it was a simple coincidence.’ He shrugged, shoulders shifting against the ground as he lay on his back, and Eggsy growled. Maybe the circle was getting to him, maybe it was the poison, but either way he was at the end of his fucking rope.

         ‘You’re never going to give me a straight answer, are you? I’m a fucking dying human, you already won, why are you so scared of me?’

         ‘Your false sense of security derived from a painted circle on the ground has given you quite the ego.’

         ‘I just don’ give a fuck anymore; I’m dying, why bother playin’ nice? Why’d you help him escape?

         ‘I don’t see how that’s any of your business-’

         ‘They crushed your body!’

         'With good reason! I deserved it, I paid my price, and even dead you have no business in demon affairs.’ Eggsy keeled over, clutched desperately to his stomach and groaned in pain. ‘You’re not built for Hell, Eggsy. Trust me.’

         ‘I’m dead chuffed that a demon would care so much for my well being-’

         ‘You can’t even do anything for Harry by staying here- he broke a sacred law, he’s a vile creature who will never again see the light of day!’

         ‘Well, maybe I don’ care about all that!

         ‘You should-’

         ‘I don’t give a fuck about should or shouldn’t. I love him, and the shit you’ve spewed at me is a different Harry. Who he was here,’ Eggsy threw his hands about the circle, careful even now not to cross the barrier despite his pain, ‘isn’t the man I know. Everyone changes over time- even demons!’

         ‘Oh, and you’re the authority on that subject now?’

         ‘On Harry, yes.’ Eggsy was determined, lips firm, eyes hard, and looked at Lo like he would a spot of dirt on a freshly-cleaned floor. He turned, and lifted a hand like Lo had earlier, focusing entirely on the memory of he and Harry’s last night together. The night that changed everything.

--

         They were asleep together, the too-large bed covered in pillows and blankets, when suddenly Harry shot straight up, screaming at a decibel Eggsy was only now able to fully comprehend. Eggsy rolled over, sat up, and threw an arm across Harry’s shoulders before pulling him back down. They stayed there, Harry curled surprisingly small upon Eggsy’s chest, until Harry stopped shaking.

         ‘You wanna talk about it?’ Eggsy whispered, lips barely brushing Harry’s temple.

         ‘It’s just a dream- everyone has them.’ Harry evaded the question, keeping his face turned from Eggsy’s. ‘Just a dream.’

         ‘Not like that they don’t. You’ve been talkin’ in your sleep, y’know- apologising-’

         ‘Shhh.’ Harry placed one finger on Eggsy’s lips, suddenly on alert; body shifted at an angle and ear turned toward the door. ‘Tell me you don’t smell anything.’

         ‘... Now that you’ve mentioned it, smells like sulfur. You leave somethin’ on?’

         ‘... Shit.’ A now familiar green, scaled, hand grasped Harry by the scalp and threw him bodily from the bed, and Eggsy could only watch in horror as the horned demon walked fully into the room. Merlin lifted a hand, freezing Eggsy’s bid to move toward him, and then shoved him backward with a flick of his wrist. Demon magic had worked in the real world, that night.

         Harry got back to his feet, eyes pale and face discoloured, and walked up to Merlin. He held himself like Wolverine, body tilted forward and hands extended at his sides as if ready to swipe and cut as opposed to punch.

         ‘Really, him?’ Merlin asked Harry, gesturing with his head to the unconscious Eggsy on the bed. ‘What makes him worth all this fuss?’

         ‘Merlin.’

         ‘Nice costume, sugar daddy.’

         ‘Go back.’

         ‘I plan to- but not without you.’

         ‘I’m stronger than you-’

         ‘But you’re long since out of practise.’ They fought, never touching but still managing to hurt one another, until Merlin managed to grab Harry by the throat. Literally. The sound of Harry choking managed to stir Eggsy, who sat up in bed and scrambled forward on the sheets. Merlin flicked his other wrist, and long, deep, gashes appeared on Eggsy’s chest. Harry heard Eggsy gasp in pain and fall back to the bed, and it rejuvenated him- he fought Merlin with renewed vigour to get to Eggsy’s side.

         ‘Eggsy!’ Harry breathed, but Eggsy couldn’t breathe. Harry was lying across his legs, torsos barely touching, trying to gauge the damage, and Eggsy couldn’t breathe. ‘He’s dying-’

         ‘I should hope so- I don’t scratch.’

         ‘Let me help him, and I’ll go with you. No more fighting, just… let me save him.’ Harry whispered, and Merlin simply gestured him forward with a wave of his hand. Harry crawled back upon the bed, carefully avoiding Eggsy’s mutilated chest, and kissed him softly. ‘I have to leave.’

         ‘H-H-Harry-’

         ‘Shhh,’ Harry lifted a hand, holding it over his torso with a look of pure determination, and a moment later Eggsy’s breathing evened out. ‘I’m sorry, Eggsy. I love you.’

         Together, Harry and Merlin walked from the room, briefcase in hand.

--

         ‘You came here for love- you know, you’re no better than Faust.’ Lo remarked after the scene faded, Eggsy’s heavy breathing still hovering throughout the room. Whether it was from now or then was impossible to tell.

         ‘Faust wanted power, and knowledge-’

         ‘Which is exactly what you want as well- you promised Harry that you would destroy that Book. If you’d truly loved him, you would have done as he’d asked. Only a mortal can harm that book- you betrayed your love just by coming here.’ Eggsy turned to Lo, far beyond done with this merry-go-round. ‘Do you think your Harry will forgive you?’

         ‘I’m only human, ain’t I?’ Eggsy said, determined to make Lo understand even if he died trying, ‘we’re allowed to make mistakes, we’re expected to make mistakes and maybe loving Harry means I couldn’t do what he made me promise but don’t,’ Eggsy gritted out, ‘accuse me of betraying him, when all I’ve wanted was for him to be back where he belonged. Back home. With me.’

         Lo laughed. ‘If you say so, kid.’ Eggsy saw red- this close to dying, why hold back?

         ‘Demon Lo I am you master, you disgusting thing, I summoned you and all your power. I say roll over- since you can’t jump and all- and you do it.’ Eggsy breathed sharply through his teeth, ‘You’ve been showing me all sorts of shit I don’ care about to get me to leave. I. WON’T.

         ‘I’m not leaving here without Harry, and I command you Demon Lo to get him and bring him right in front of me and then get the fuck out of my sight.’ Lo looked at Eggsy with wide eyes, but said nothing more before dragging himself away, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. Eggsy couldn’t bring himself to be sorry for cutting off Lo’s fun, slow-acting or not he was dying and he only had one real chance at this now.

--

         It could have been a moment, it could have been a year (who knew how slow demon poisons were, anyway) but between one breath and the next Harry was there. Beautiful, perfect, Harry with his hair and suit pristine and his glasses clear, a small sad smile on his lips. He was propped on his elbows, eye level with the collapsed Eggsy, cheekbones highlighted in the candlelight. All that fuss, and Lo had managed it at last.

         ‘Hello, Eggsy.’ There was something sad in his voice, but Eggsy couldn’t bring himself to do more than shrug a shoulder.

         ‘Hello, Harry.’

         ‘Strange place for a date.’ Harry’s mouth quirked on one side, barely showing his teeth.

         ‘Yeah, but the only man worth datin’ was down here.’ A long silence stretched between them. Sad, broke only by laboured breathing, but not awkward.

         ‘... You kept the Book.’

‘I tried to burn it- I did- but I just- just,’ Eggsy sighed, pained, ‘I just couldn’t, and I dunno why. Swear down I tried-’

         ‘It’s okay.' Harry interrupted, a small glittering in his eyes. 'You know they weren’t happy when they found Faust in the case- thank you, it was a comedic moment in what was a very dark period. Your gift has been-’

         ‘I’m here to take you home, Harry.’ Eggsy couldn’t let him continue on, talking of his time in Hell like a poorly-envisioned vacation. They had somewhere to be; they had a home to get back to.

         ‘I know. I’m doing cartwheels, can’t you see them?’

         ‘Don’t you Parks and Rec me, Harry- I need you to tell me what page I need to read to get us both back home, Harry.’

         ‘You still want me- after everything you’ve heard? Hell’s gold standard reaper?’

         ‘But I know that’s not the Harry Hart I know-’

         ‘But it is.’ It’s stated simply, but it makes Eggsy’s head spin. But, he’d come this far, and he wasn’t leaving without him. They’d work through everything a bit at a time- every relationship had its problems.

         ‘Well, you swear you won’t eat me and I’ll marry you. You, me, my shitty flat and all the butterflies you can fit inside. May even let you get a dog like you always wanted.’

         ‘You love me?’ It was whispered to himself, as if Harry couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but he looked back at Eggsy with fire in his eyes. ‘Page 1108,’ Eggsy flipped through the pages as quickly as his debilitated body could manage. Eventually he found the page, but Eggsy couldn’t bring himself to do more than drink in the sight of Harry by candlelight

         ‘Tiana.’ Harry started, tongue caressing the words much the way he had Eggsy’s name that first day. He stared for a moment before realising that he was supposed to repeat what Harry said- why open the book at all, if Harry could just recite it all?

‘Tiana.’

‘Fate Simae.’

‘Fate Simae.’

‘Nevt Tiana Simae.’

‘Nevt Tiana Simae.’

‘Tan Corse Si.’

‘Tan Corse Si.’

         Harry reached across the circle like there was no barrier, as if there was nothing but open floor between them, and kissed Eggsy deeply. Softly. The opposite of their circumstances, what with being in hell and all. Eggsy felt like something was finally settling back into place, like the colour was bleeding back into the world; like he’d finally stopped being more spirit than self.

         Harry pulled back, and grasped the empty glass in one hand before spitting the poisoned brandy back inside.

         ‘I can’t go with you, Eggsy.’ It’s sad, but stated as fact, and Eggsy won’t stand for it.

         ‘The fuck do you mean you can’t- we’ll hide, change our names, they won’t find us-’

         ‘They will, Eggsy- and next time, I won’t be able to save you. I’m afraid I used that bargaining chip, already. They find us up there, let alone together, and we’re both finished.’

         ‘Then let me stay here with you- I can adapt I’ll figure it-’

         ‘No! No, no…’ Harry looked back into Eggsy’s eyes, frantic, ‘this is not where I will have you spend eternity. You get no say in this, you have so much left to experience Eggsy and I will not have you giving that up to be with me. Much as it hurts me to let you go, you belong up there- you’ll figure it out.’

         ‘What have I got to live for up there without you?’

         ‘I’m not a man, Eggsy,’ Harry’s voice reverberates around the room, haunting and clear, ‘I’m not even human.’

         ‘But you love me, yeah?’ The poison was gone, but his body was too weak to protest too harshly. Eggsy wished he could clear the guilt from Harry’s eyes.

         ‘Sometimes, Eggsy, love is not enough.’ Harry began to lean back out of the circle. ‘Please, burn the book- it’s not fair. To either of us.’ He paused and lifted a hand, and something in the air changed. ‘You’re going home, Eggsy. And I’m going to stay in this place to make sure of it.’ Harry turned away, and began to lean himself back into the abyss.

         ‘Harry-’ He turned back, heartbreak etched in every glorious crease, and Eggsy felt a traitorous tear slide down his face. He blinked, trying to clear his eyes, and froze.

Lo met Eggsy’s gaze, half covered in shadow. He looked away, breaking the fragile moment between them, and finished dragging himself away.

--

         Eggsy came to in his apartment, drooling on the floor and face planted on a small puddle of dried blood. Disgusting.

         He got up, slowly, and dusted himself off- surprised to find the cut still there, having thought it all a fantastical dream. But no, the Book was there, the blood was there, and his apartment was still boarded up to he- boarded up inside.

         He scraped off the paint as best he could, used some thinner, and then gave up and put the carpet back over it. Someone would make an unpleasant discovery someday, but that wasn’t a problem for today. He pulled down the boards from the windows, the light nearly blinding him, and started cleaning up.

         He used a hammer to break some of the wood down, gathered up some old newsprint, and shoved it all into a metal bin before he put out on the sil.

He put the Book atop the pile, and dropped a match.

[realasunicorns]

"Give me a character and I will answer"

@callmehername asked me about Ben Solo/Kylo Ren.

(My answers to the other characters are here)

Why I like them

It is hard to talk about this character when I know so little about him, since he's very new compared to all the others. So be kind if I make assumptions bc it's mostly what we can do for now, I think. For me at least, to take what we canonically know about him for sure doesn't leave much to choose, so I'm doing my own thing a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️

Having said this:

Basically, I like him bc he's complex. He's conflicted, but that's something we've seen before. He's also unstable tho. Really unstable.

But I also like him because I feel like I have a hard time reading him. Like, we know he's unstable, but... Are his actions those of a conflicted (and traumatized and probably brainwashed) child grown up? Or not really? I mostly get the feeling he could be very determined and manipulative under that confused look. That he knows exactly what he's doing even if he looks like a mess with temper tantrums. That he's conflicted and he knows people know that, so he uses that as a disguise, like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Or maybe it isn't that at all. Maybe he's THAT misguided. I guess we'll have to wait for Episode IX to find out more, but for now I like that he keeps me guessing.

Then there is also the fact that troughout the Episodes, we are repeatedly told by the Jedi that one must resist the Dark Side. It is easy to fall and once you do, it forever will dominate your destiny. And I think it's fascinating how Kylo is permanently fighting to stay in it. For someone to show such a struggle with the Dark Side, it could mean an increadibly strong alignment to the Light and/or that he was pushed into the darkness by someone without his consent (hello Snoke) probably by means of an idea in his mind. An idea that was wrong all along: what Vader was supposed to be like. What he was supposed to be too. So he's holding onto the darkness on sheer determination to be that. (Which I find to be very ironic bc if you read my opinion on Anakin I always thought he was conflicted all along, Vader as well. Maybe not just like Ben, but he wasn't like Sheev, that kind of pure evil that Ben seems to think he was.)

To me it all goes down to: would he struggle as much to stay in the Light as he struggles to be in the Dark? How much of it was Snoke's doing? Walking the fine line between the Light and the Dark would make him even more interesting as a character. And it also brings something into the table that I've been waiting for many, many years: actual force balance/the Grey/etc.

So, essentially, what I love the most about his character is all the possibilities he brings to the table and the fact that he's not just a villian, not just a [insert other classic character tropes here].

(I could say the same about Rey in a way, since they are two sides of the same coin. But also not quite the same. And also I'm not here to talk about Rey haha)

Why I don’t

To me it makes no sense his name is Ben unless there's something I missed. I'm still waiting for an explanation that makes it fitting.

(oh and also he's supposed to be 29 and he doesn't feel like it to me? and sometimes I feel confused? lol idk how to explain it bc I don't really know what bugs me, but something feels off 🤷🏻‍♀️ but that's about it, no big deal at all haha)

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Easy. When he kills Snoke in The Last Jedi. More like, how he does it. I'm a huge fan of the whole deception he plays on him.

And let me say I think he might have had it planned all along when he took that look at the guards while being in the room that time before 👀

Favorite season/movie

IDK AAAAH

Maybe it's the one to come?

No, seriously. I really don't know. I have no preference atm.

If I must choose based on him aesthetically tho, then I'm choosing The Force Awakens! TFA hair AAAAALL THE WAY:

GIF source*

Favorite line

"Forgive me. I feel it again... The pull to the Light."

I just love it.

Favorite outfit

I believe he's only had one?

GIF source*

One very much on point tho👌🏻

OTP

I don't ship him romantically atm 🤔

BROTP

OMG ALSO NO BROTPs?! I JUST DON'T SHIP HIM AT ALL. I REALLY BOUGHT THE SPACE EMO KID THING HE'S SELLING 🤣

Head Canon

He understands Wookie like it's his mother tongue.

He and Chewie used to play when he was a kid. It was like having a huge (and alive) teddy bear friend to play with. They would do mechanics together and later some piloting maybe?

💔

(OK, MAYBE I WANTED HIM AND CHEWIE AS BROTP BUT IT'S NOT POSSIBLE ANYMORE, HE KILLED HAN FFS AAAAHHH😭😭😭)

Unpopular opinion

The anti's are not morally superior, they are just haters and bullies.

First of all, acting as if Kylo Ren was the devil is non-sense in GFFA. He's not that bad if you compared to so many others lol He's no saint, but why would he have to be? And even if it was denying someone a redemption before he can even claim it or whatever is really, really shitty. So there's no hope then for people to improve? Shouldn't they be encouraged to get better specially if they have been wrong and hurt others? Not discouraged? What kind of shit is that.

And second, shipping him with Rey or whoever is fine even if it was unhealthy. I have seen a million unhealthy ships (some in GFFA too) and no one ever made a big deal because it is no big deal. And this one should be no different. You just want an excuse to hate. Besides, many shippers actually ship them in AUs. So it's not necessarily an unhealthy ship. But in case it was, it's none of your business. And certainly no one deserves the shitty treatment these people give to the shippers. And on top of all of that, I find disgusting that they use something as detrimental as abusive relationships as an excuse to be bullying other fans. WHICH IS ABUSIVE TOO, HELLO. To use your (supposedly) superior morals as the reason to be rightfully allowed to discriminate others is by definition abusive behaviour. And this is real life, not some fictional character's. Really, really ugly shit smh

#RANTOVER.

A wish

I hope they don't play the classic redemption arc and stick to the simple usual light vs. darkness thing. Give something more complex, something good, something different. GIVE SOMETHING INSPIRING.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

I don't think Reylo is a good idea in canon, like, there being romantically involvement in the movie.

Not bc of the relationship itself. Although I would prefer none of it, I don't know what they are planning and I don't think I know better than the creators, so it could probably be done right in some way if that's really the plan. And who knows, maybe I would enjoy it(?) Butr my taste, the balance of the force should be the plot and I feel this, even as a sub-plot, would overshadow it. So it's a no for me atm.

Also imagine all the haters backlash if it happened... Look, idk if I have enough patience for another TLJ 😱

(SEE? HATERS ARE WHY THERE IS NO FREEDOM OF WRITING ANYMOREok I try to chill nowBUT SERIOUSLY STOP THE FLAME WARSi want an overall happy fandom why can't we have it)

5 words to best describe them

Lonely. Misunderstood. Overpowered. Unstable. Capable.

My nickname for them

Kylo is fine haha I don't think I ever call him Ben (by now you know I don't much like him being called that)

I fail at the nickname thing, I really have no nicknames for any of them! Ok maybe space emo prince 👀 😂

GIF source*

And this is it!

Unicorn Kisses!🦄

–

*Excuse the not-so-great cites of GIF sources BLAME THE TUMBLR APP, I’ll change them once I have a computer... some day. There's also the fact that some source didn't exist(?) so I linked what I could find.

[royal-writer]

Essie - questionnaire

Just trying to get to know Essie better, ignore me! Will add more later.

1. Does s/he enjoy puzzles?

Not particularly. Even given nothing to do, Essie would probably prefer much anything else.

2. Does s/he enjoy education?

I don’t even know if she had a real education. I’m sure she learned more on her own means. I think she’s pretty neutral on learning. It helps better you but she doesn’t see it as fun but neither does she see it as terrible.

3. What is his/her sexual orientation?

Pansexual Panromantic.

4. Is s/he right-handed, left-handed, or ambidextrous?

Right-handed but ambidextrous casting spells cuz, well, ya almost gotta be..

5. Is s/he fashionable?

Essie don’t give a fuck. She wears what she likes, or wears what is suitable to the weather, or wears shit just to piss people off. So probably not.

6. What is their favorite food(s)?

Okay, here goes: smoked salmon on a bed of greens, herb roast pheasant, venison steak cooked rare to med-rare with roasted potatoes, garlic clam soup, mushroom and leek stew, berry tarts with mint, stuffed trout, pickled duck eggs, sharp cheeses, sunflower seeds, almonds, honeycakes, and she has a preference for drinking spiced ale, orchid wines, and elven made wines that are sweeter and aromatic. I can also see her having a taste for tea, particularly with honey, and sweet or spiced ciders. Maybe some hard spirits in a group atmosphere.

7. Has s/he ever broken a bone?

Nope, not yet at least.

8. Any interests or hobbies?

She enjoys magic, even using it to make kids happy. She enjoys dancing, secretly. Gambling maybe, uh... going on adventures obviously. Will add more if I think of it; she’s lived a life of survival so she probably doesn’t hide many hobbies.

9. Does s/he consider themself organized?

lmao no and she knows that. Ms. Throw-It-All-In-The-Bag.

10. How does s/he handle feeling nauseous?

No food, only liquids. Try laying down. If it doesn’t stop after a while, try walking around slowly in hopes to agitate self enough to just hurl.

11. What is his/her full name?

Essätha Medüza - the last name is a kick on Medusa from mythology.

12. Introvert or extrovert?

She’s a wanna-be-extro. Doesn’t trust others well, but has a desire to fit in and hang with others. At the moment she’s honestly more intro by nature though.

13. Can s/he cook?

Probably okay. Still prone to burning food from time to time lol whoops. But for the most part it’ll be edible, probably just not super tasty.

14. Did s/he have any friends growing up?

Yes! I plan on doing art for some of ‘em eventually.

15. How does s/he react to storms? Being caught in the storm?

Essie likes a good rainfall. Probably doesn’t mind being caught in them, even ‘bad’ storms, so long as it isn’t snow. Too damn cold.

16. Does s/he collect anything?

Nope. Maybe scars. //bricked// Nah because of her lifestyle, she’s not one to gather trinkets or stuff. Necessities and useful stuff only really.

17. Is s/he religious?

lol nope. Doesn’t care for gods or religion or any of that junk.

18. What inspires him/her?

I don’t know... uh, music for dancing. Sunsets and sunrises. The idea that life can get better. Transformation/growing.

19. Do they have a role model?

Maybe her mom, despite not knowing her. Eventually I’m sure she’ll see some of her fellow team members in this way.

20. What’s their favorite joke?

Probably secretly snake puns. Examples: “let me give you a hiss”, “viper that smirk off your face”, “I’ll snake some puns in there”, etc.

21. How would your character describe his/her friends? Lover? Parents?

dnd group companions to be determined.

Opal: (kind stranger) Orange furry cat woman. Seems to follow her own moral code of good which is pure and generous. Pretty kind.

Kraw: (teacher) Bird man of tans, reds, and dark browns/blacks. Grumpy but has a good heart. May try eating you if you’re an animal or can turn into an animal but otherwise nice. Drinker but a sad drinker when he does.

Solace: (ally/best friend) Outgoing, bubbly, considerate reddish-pink tiefling with obsidian eyes and violet blue-toned hair. She’s a rebel but is caring despite her dicey past. Essie considers her a better person than herself.

Phoenix: (aquitaine) Lady crazypants. Charcoal skin with scar-like markings that glow like lava flow when she’s using her powers. Fiery colored eyes and hair. Very much gives a masculine vibe. Will kill you with no regrets. Something’s wrong with her but she is willing to work with others for her own gain which is relatable.

Bretella: (frienemy) Considered a trustworthy ally. Green skinned redhead with golden eyes. Tends to weary flashy or seductive clothing. Will bail you out of a situation but patronize you later. High self-esteem.

Miz'ri: (enemy) A lost friend. Light grey skin, white hair, pale lilac eyes. Essie wishes that the millions of things that went wrong between them hadn’t. She hopes there’s still godo to be found in Miz’ri. A sad, broken soul.

Hepsiba: (mother) Truly the most beautiful person in existence. Warm, loving, considerate, gentle, sweet, gorgeous. Hepsiba is gone now, but her memory is still a vibrant light of warmth. Essie probably looks to the stars and likes to think her mom is up there, staring down at her. Mom was an auburn-skinned beauty with brown eyes.

Tyfiell: (father) Never met him. Mom spoke well of him, but Essie doesn’t think well of someone who ditched her mom. Said to be a dark-skinned Yuan-Ti Pureblood with dark eyes and a wicked smile. Rogue class.

22. How would s/he describe themself?

LOL nothing good unfortunately... She thinks she’s physically ugly due to how she was treated by others when she was young. She doesn’t find redeemable qualities in herself too much, either. Resident snake lady would probably say “I don’t got time for this” if asked. “I’m a scaly Yuan-Ti woman, hi.”

23. What is his/her birthday? Star sign? Do they fit it?

April 12, which would make their zodiac the Aries. It sounds semi fitting, as they’re labeled as ‘courageous, confident, short-tempered, and impulsive’ but like anything else, there’s some manners that aren’t perfectly fitting (optimistic, aggressive, etc).

24. How good is s/he at mending clothes?

She doesn’t know the Mending ability lol! Kidding aside, I don’t believe it’s her hobby or anything. I mean, if you look at some of her clothes, they’ve got tears and threads pulled free. Probably not.

25. How does s/he react to someone spilling something on them?

Depends on the atmosphere? 90% of the time she’ll realize it’s an accident, jump when it happens, and then request the server or whomever fetch something to help clean up the mess- not impolitely just with some urgency in her tone. She’d probably only have a .1% chance going off an the server because hey, shit happens, but if she’s in a bad mood already she may snap at anyone around she’s unhappy with at the moment.

26. How does s/he react to being approached by law enforcement?

‘Oh shit time to run they’re probably after me’ is her thought processing.

27. Do they paint/draw?

Nah, not really her cup of tea.

28. Does s/he prefer any musical instruments?

Essie can’t play, but she probably enjoys winds and strings for daily life, but the occasionally ‘sick beat’ of a big band of instruments to dance to would be A+.

29. If they had a tumblr, what would their account name be?

venomspikedwine

30. How good are they at keeping an eye on their money? Do they also splurge frequently?

Admittedly, Essatha enjoys hoarding funds. As someone who grew up with little, she’s a bit of a hoarder and is very unlikely to misplace even a copper piece. If she splurges, she’s likely drunk or enjoying a ‘luxury’ she didn’t have much as a child (ex: tarts), or items useful for survival, combat, friends, etc.

31. 3-5 random pieces of trivia about them that doesn’t come up often?

Essie loves music; especially pieces with a soft melody. She grew a garden once. Lastly she has had no real schooling; she’s mostly self-taught or listened in on others or hired other’s to teach her. This might be one of the reasons why she’s a bit of a slow reader.

32. Does s/he prefer dawn or dusk?

She feels more ‘lively’ during dawn but enjoys dusk for the twilight glow, the stars, etc. So both with maybe a slight preference for dusk.

33. Have them describe themself in 3 words!

(no, Essie, you can’t use ‘snake lady’ for 2 words, use adjectives).

confident, misunderstood, bull-headed

34. How would s/he react to someone confessing they have a crush on them?

All the blushing. So much blushing. Open-mouthed like ‘uhh??’ If she doesn’t return the feelings, she’ll probably be really embarrassed. Stuttering as she tries the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’. Unless it’s not someone she’s close with, in which case, she’d use their ‘crush’ to her advantage. If it’s someone she has a crush on as well, she’ll blush and look away. Be shy. You’d probably need to convince her to speak or look at you again cuz she’d be like ‘?! they like me? me???’

35. What is his/her favorite scent?

Desserts, rain, the outdoors (especially earthy scents).

36. If they had a Pokemon team, what PKMN would they have?

With ‘starter’: Serperior, Weavile, Houndoom, Phantump, Dragalge, Togetic.

Without ‘starter’: same team, replace Serperior with Kangaskhan.

37. Can s/he sing? act?

She can’t sing well but that won’t stop her when she has the urge. Obviously she can act, or she wouldn’t play people so well lol.

38. Can s/he swim?

Yep!

39. Does s/he drink? Do drugs? Smoke?

Yes she drinks, no she doesn’t do drugs (unless medicines in the d&d count? I don’t know what sort of drugs they have), no she doesn’t smoke.

40. Are they good with children?

Yeah actually! She wants kids to have a happy youth, unlike what she had, so she’s willing to do things to entertain and help kiddos. If a kid cons her, she’d try to even hunt them down purely to see if there’s any way she could help them.

41. What sort of atmosphere does s/he give off?

Depends. Either antisocial or exceptional flirt depending on what’s going on to the average person.

42. Do they believe in any form of afterlife?

Yeah, she thinks there’s an afterlife. What it entails, she doesn’t dare imagine.

43. What’s the first thing s/he does in the morning after waking?

Roll outta bed/sleeping bag and get dressed, think about getting something to drink asap.

44. Who would be his/her voice actor/ress?

Morrigan from Dragon Age, voiced by Claudia Black. Dragon Age: Inquisition seems the best bet, as Morrigan’s voice seems more controlled and less bubbly than Origins. Perhaps Origins though when she’s interacting with Sul?

45. How would you describe his/her aesthetic?

Clothing wise: revealing/sexy. Personal taste: nature, stars, anything that’s just lulling, tranquil, natural to the world...

46. How would s/he react to supernatural/paranormal phenomenons?

Willing to fight a ghost. Probably be spooked at first, but after the first encounter with these sort of creations, she’d probably be okay. Just that first time... “woah let’s punch this ghost” half damage “holy shit you can punch a ghost? Cool. Also magic time becuz wow that didn’t do shit”.

47. How would s/he confess their love to others?

Judging by conversations with Heather, she’d be hecka frustrated. What are feelings. I don’t know what this is. Why do I care about you so much please explain this to me? And once she figures out that it’s love she’s feeling... that explains the confusion, the butterflies in her stomach, the awkward shyness even she couldn’t explain when she reacted to them being nice but... I must now blush... and hide my face...

48. How do they react to being bored?

Time to unbored herself by doing something. Hunting, pestering others, flirting, gambling, anything but sitting there jiggin her leg if she can help it. Restlessness doesn’t fit her.

49. Have they ever been stung by a bee?

Yush.

50. If they had to pick a Disney Princess/Prince, which do they like? Which do they feel most alike? Which do they aspire to be most like?

Essie would probably really like Tiana for her go-getter attitude. She probably feels most like Rapunzel, locked away from the world and badly treated by her ‘caretaker(s)’ (the city she grew up in) but now she’s free and adventuring and seeking her own trues and fulfilling her curiosities. Who she’d probably most aspire to be I guess would be Moana (not qualified as a Disney princess yet, but admirable all the same. Moana went on an adventure, conquered it, found herself, defeated the big bad, etc) or Merida (they share like-characteristics, and Merida didn’t need a man to complete her, though family/friends it reveals are important).

21 Q’s for d&d Chars and OCS, taken from here

1. What influenced or inspired the creation of this character?

First d&d campaign. Kept getting stuck between a handful of races. Finally got down to 4, then 3, then 2. Had to wait and see if Ammy would approve Yuan-Ti Purebloods. Got approved. Suddenly whAM - inspiration. Didn’t want a flat typical ‘evil’ Yuan-Ti. Her background was helpfully inspired by the one I picked- Urchin. I just continued adding tragedy because I’m an asshole.

2. What is your character’s relationship with their family? Family is a word which here refers to biological relatives, close companions, and/or the individual(s) who raised them.

Essie’s only known family was her mother. She was very close with her, sadly, her mom passed when she was young, probably 3-4ish. She never knew her dad. Her relationship with chosen family is positive. Details on ‘chosen’ family will be thought up further later, as I’m confident she’ll come to consider her traveling companions like family.

3. Who is the closest person to them?

Her mum (deceased), and eventually probably Sul and the group. I feel she’ll particularly enjoy Cackle and Adela but we’ll see~

4. What were the conditions surrounding their formative years?

Harsh livin of survival all her life yo. Fighting for food, stealing to get by, learning how to use and deceive people to get things she needed and then eventually, things she wanted.

5. What creature would they like to have as a pet?

Snakes and doggos.

6. Do they have any bad habits?

Does stealing count? Lmao uh, other than that, maybe gambling a bit..

7. Is there anyone they’d die for? Kill for?

Old friends, later their dnd group obviously.

8. Who was their first love?

I’m gonna be cheesy here and say Sulhadur. Mostly because she never really knew what love was anymore until him. Whoops feels-

9. How would this character react to someone confessing their love for them?

^ See up there, I know I answered a question like this already.

10. How old is this character?

Twenty.

11. Are they normally peaceful or aggressive?

Peaceful probably- just leave her be and let her do what she gonna do.

12. How does this character handle stress?

Probably get frustrated. Pull on hair, get loud, vent and rant.

13. Does your character consider themselves lucky?

Hahahahaah- no.

14. What is their favorite holiday?

I... Honestly don’t know? If we’re going by holidays present now, probably Halloween or smth low-key based around family. As for d&d holidays, of those I found, she’d probably prefer Trolltide (a variation on Halloween), and either Feast of the Moon or Feast of the Ancestors.

15. What is the best gift they could receive?

Mom’s love. //bricked// Mom’s ring??? That seems about all at the moment...

16. If they could instantly kill one person in the world without consequence, who would it be?

Probably everyone in their childhood city whoops- or at least someone there that caused her tremendous pain.

17. If they were in possession of a trio of wishes, what would their three wishes be?

Mom to come back to life (probably rejected), happiness (rejected), money (rejected), new clothes, new items to help with spells, idk something to help the dnd group as a whole then.

18. What is their favorite spell or method of attack?

Unknown at the moment. I’ll probably say her Magic Missiles and Acid Splash.

19. What are their guilty pleasures?

Give her desserts!

20. What is something this character is or could be addicted to?

Happiness? Desserts. Yes happiness and desserts sounds about right.

21. Have you actually played this character yet? 

Just started! :D

25 Q’s for your d&d Chars and OCs, taken from here

1. What is this character’s alignment?

Chaotic Neutral

2. What is a notable quote from this character? Alternatively, what is their favorite quote?

No notable quotes yet, just started playing her. Favorite quote would probably be something like ‘only the strong survive’ or ‘a sheep in wolves clothing’.

3. Summarize your character’s backstory with no more than three sentences.

Small innocent snake-child is born to a snake-lady whom has no spouse. She’s raised by her loving mother until she passes away of illness. The remainder of her life has been an uphill battle for survival and equality.

4. Describe your character using a song title.

Snake Charmer. //bricked// oR What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger.

5. Are there any story arcs you would like this character to explore?

ALL

6. What would your character like (or have liked) to do with their life?

They’d like to find happiness. They’d have liked to have a better childhood filled with joy and happiness too, and a healthy mom, and to better herself.

7. Who is your character’s best friend?

Solace technically from her old group. We’ll see what happens in her new group!

8. Who is your character’s worst enemy?

Miz’ri from her old group thus far~

9. Who has, for better or worse, had the most impact on your character’s life?

Thus far, her mother and the people of her childhood city.

10. What is the most badass thing this character has done?

Nothing really yet? Other than survive. Maybe persuaded Lord Hardon- I mean Amon- to chill his nuts.

11. What crime is this character most likely to be convicted of?

Thievery obviously lmao. And being too cute.

12. What meme would you use to describe the character?

Hello Darkness My Old Friend, But That’s None Of My Business, Fuck That Shit I’m Out.

13. Does this character swear frequently?

Probs!

14.What is this character’s relationship with religion or the church?

Fuck that shit I’m out, no thanks!

15. Would this character ever make a deal with a devil or dark spirit?

Under the right circumstances, maybe. But doubtful cuz she ain’t that stupid. Usually. Probably. Unless dire circumstances.

16. Emotion or Logic?

Logic. What are emotion. Plz explain.

17. Soup or Salad?

Soup and stews!

18. What is the character’s favorite Pokémon?

Phantump :’I

19. What Pokémon Go team would they be on?

Team Valor.

20. Is your character currently in love? Is there anyone in love with your character?

No-yes. Eventually.

21. Do you ship your character with any other characters? (This includes characters from other universes and canons)

Sul and her are meant to be okay.....

22. How would this character seduce a lover?

OH GOD well- apparently with flirty, charm, good looks, lots of hip swaying, smooth talking, etc (and her high Persuasion stat) works in her favor. Sul it- it would just come naturally. Essie’s shy with him it’s precious. It’s because she loves him tho.

23. If your character could play any part in a drama, stage production, or musical, what part would they play?

Behind the scenes, probably something like a makeup artist. In a piece, she’d probably be an actress, and a more low-key role because plz don’t spotlight me the arts aren’t my thing...

24. What is your character’s favorite album?

WIP WIP WIP ?? No albums in d&d realm so??? questionable.

25. What does this character mean to you?

I love her she’s my new daughter duh.

[garbage---rat]

i was tagged by @throughthenotchesinyourspine thank u!!!

Rules: Answer all the questions and tag 20 other blogs.

(LAST)

DRINK: cola

PHONE CALL: my grandma

TEXT MESSAGE: my aunt

SONG YOU LISTENED TO: love is nonsense by support lesbiens

TIME YOU CRIED: yesterday on a train nd then in a supermarket

DATED SOMEONE TWICE: ❌

KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: ❌

BEEN CHEATED ON: ❌

LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: idk

BEEN DEPRESSED:  uuuuhh yea

GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: ye

(3 FAVORITE COLORS): black, red nd green

(IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU)

MADE NEW FRIENDS: yea!!

FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: ❌

LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: probably

FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: i dont remember lmao probably tho

MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: yeah

FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ????i guess

KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: fuck facebook

(GENERAL)

HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE:  whats faceboook????

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: yea three dogs nd 7 cats (plus like 30 chickens lmao)

DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: Y E S

WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: nothing bc no one gives a shit abt my bday lmao

WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: between 5 nd 6am

WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: tryin to sleep but my anxiety kept me up

NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: seeing the offspring!!!!!!!!!!

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: yesterday

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: red white and brainwashed by anti-flag

HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: ye my cousins name is tom

SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: being poor

MOST VISITED WEBSITE: tumblr rip (on my phone its spotify)

HAIR COLOR: naturally its dark brown but rn its ugly blond w green/blue patches

LONG OR SHORT HAIR: short

DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yea 💖 💖

WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: ??????i cant read

PIERCINGS: 3 in my ear nd 1 in my lip

BLOOD TYPE: ????idk

NICKNAME: i guess zero could be a nickname bc its not my birthmńame

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: taken

ZODIAC: leo

PRONOUNS: he/him or they/them (i prefer he/him tho)

FAVORITE

TV SHOW: gotham (but  also rlly like its always sunny, bobs burgers, gravity falls nd brooklyn 99)

TATTOOS: i got 6 lil stick n pokes i did myself (a star, moon, sad face, circle, pentagram nd 333) but i want a lot more

RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right (but ive always wanted to be left handed for some reason lmao)

SURGERY: never had one but i want top surgery

SPORT: i like most sports lmao esp softball basketball voleyball nd badminton (im not good at them tho)

VACATION: my fav place ive been to so far was brighton

PAIR OF TRAINERS: i gotta wear my ugly prescription shoes bc my feet r fucked up rip

(MORE GENERAL)

EATING: i had some cheese last night

DRINKING: cola

I’M ABOUT TO: finish packing my bag 

WAITING FOR: death

WANT: money, to not look like shrek nd i want my boobs gone

GET MARRIED: yea

CAREER: ??? im currently tryin to live long enough to have a career

(WHICH IS BETTER)

HUGS OR KISSES: both

LIPS OR EYES: both

SHORTER OR TALLER: it doesnt matter to me

OLDER OR YOUNGER: i dont rlly care

NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: both

HOOKUP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: either

fun fact: im indecisive

 HAVE YOU EVER

KISSED A STRANGER: ❌

DRANK HARD LIQUOR: yea

LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: ❌

TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: ❌ bc no one likes me lol

SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: ❌

BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: ❌

HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: like 3 times a day

BEEN ARRESTED: ❌

CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yea

FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: yea

(DO YOU BELIEVE IN)

YOURSELF: lmao

MIRACLES: yea

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: hmmm its comlicated

SANTA CLAUS: lowkey yea (dont laugh at me im a child ok)

KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: yea why not

ANGELS: yea

(OTHER)

EYE COLOR: green/grey

FAVORITE MOVIE: pacific rim or the lego batman movie

i dont know 20 ppl nd i dont wanna annoy anyone bc this is rlly long

i changed my mind bc i love reading ppls responses..im gonna tag @xojupiterxo @angelicshiver @starlingwiki nd @rose-colored-void

(dont do it if u dont wanna ns also lmk if u dont want me to tag u in this kinda stuff)

[lesbiansforandrew]

Ok so @pinkislouder, @loveloveolivia and @teamnouis tagged me in this and i love you all very much ♥️ (I'm doing this on my phone bc obviously my laptop just died rip so sorry if it looks shit) Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! THE LAST… 
1. Drink: fanta i think, i didnt want to but there was nothing else 2. Phone call: at work probably but thats boring so i think it was floor yesterday 3. Text message: the niall larries gc about elk her drama its hilarious 4. Song you listened to: cold (sak noel remix) - maroon 5 5. Time you cried: Lmao last night, when i had this one hour breakdown. It was ugly HAVE YOU EVER… 
6. Dated someone twice: I have never dated in my LIFE 7. Been cheated on: gonna take the same answer as amber, my friends yes 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: more like not kissing someone and regretting it 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: ha, very much 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: enough times for sure LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 12. soft pink 13. dark green 14. bordeaux red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 
15. Made new friends: definitely online and outside of the interwebs 16. Fallen out of love: cant say i've ever been in love so, no 17. Laughed until you cried: too many times to count 18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh :) enough times :) 19. Met someone who changed you: i guess, but in a good way 20. Found out who your true friends are: definitely 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yup for sure 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 95% 23. Do you have any pets: not anymore :( i have cacti now :) 24. Do you want to change your name: nah i'm the only female cornetto in this family and will stay that way until i die 25. What did you do for your last birthday: basically same story as amber, went to our favorite bar, got free shots from our favorite bartender, got shitfaced, oh and in the morning floor was there and we hung around with my family 26. What time did you wake up: 5:15am bc work rip 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably reading fic and telling myself to go the heck to sleep 28. Name something you cannot wait for: to meet @rogueandeskimo and see harry tbh 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: uhhh i think its been 3 weeks already idk 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Move the fuck out and get myself away from this toxic ass family 31. What are you listening to right now: my neighbours outside, its amusing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I actually had a crush on a boy named tom when i was like 6/7 didnt work out, LUCKILY 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that my laptop jUST DIED and like lets not go deeper into this 34. Most visited website: Tumblr and twitter, a surprise 35. Elementary: it was good, it was weird but a good kind, very carefree 36. High School: the best and worst time of my life, no exaggeration 37. College/university: college was good, learned a lot about myself very important 38. Hair colour: orange, ginger whatever you wanna call it nowadays 39. Long or short hair: shoulder length 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes if niall counts 41. What do you like about yourself: Not much atm but i guess i kinda look ok sometimes and i can be funny at the right moment 42. Piercings: nope 43. Blood type: wouldnt know if my life depended on it (ha medical jokes) 44. Nickname: my last name, cornetto, ams, am, ginger, theres more on this list 45. Relationship status: couldnt be more single 46. Zodiac sign: capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV show: gilmore girls, grey's anatomy, orphan black, friends, jessica jones 49. Tattoos: none yet 50. Right or left hand: right FIRST… 
51. Surgery: never had one, did break a lot of bones tho so i walked around with a cast every other 6 weeks 52. Piercing: none 54. Sport: Handball, did it for atleast 7/8 years before i quit, still love that sport to bits. Loved swimming also, was very good at it but like never did competitions 55. Vacation: my parents took me somewhere to germany as i remember but i also remember going to disneyland paris bc my aunt and uncle just got married and i was their braidsmaid at the age of 4 i dont remember which one happend first 56. Pair of trainers: probably some vintage ass shoes my mom found, they were red tho i think 57. Eating: my dinner, it was a salad. My brother left me some chocolate tho so i'll probably eat that in a bit bc well i had a salad for dinner what do you expect 58. Drinking: nothing 59. I’m about to: sleep probably 60. Listening to: not sure yet, maybe harrys album maybe mitam maybe my summer playlist 61. Waiting for: good things to finally fucking happen 62. Want: to be in greece right now thank 63. Get married: Maybe one day, if i find the right person 64. Career: all i've been thinking since dropping out is how much i want to have my own b&b somewhere on the countryside in england, beautiful perfect YOUR TYPE… 
65. Hugs or kisses: I havent kissed anyone in ages jesus but i'm also a very big cuddler, no one really knows this about me i guess but i love it so i'm gonna say hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Lips fascinate me IM SORRY I KNOW ITS WEIRD dont ask lets move on 67. Shorter or taller: shorter but i dont mind anyone having the same hight as me, i dont even mind anyone taller but that doesnt happen much anyway 68. Older or younger: i prefer older but doesnt matter much actually 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: this is a stupid question it doesnt fucking matter 71. Sensitive or loud: loud for sure, love what amber said. Give me someone like louis 72. Hook up or relationship: atm i dont care but i'm definitely a relationship person 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker, bc i can be quite hesitant eventho im very adventurous HAVE YOU EVER… 
74. Kissed a stranger?: i .. have not 75. Drank hard liquor?: sure enough 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: only a couple sunglasses 77. Turned someone down: godsjs enough times 78. Sex on first date: not sure if you can count it a date and we already knew eachother for years but anyway yes 79. Broken someone’s heart: idk probably 80. Had your heart broken: ohhh yeah 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: hahahah :) DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 
84. Yourself: I'm trying my friends 85. Miracles: I'm not sure i believe in miracles i do believe that some things happen because thats how they were supposed to be 86. Love at first sight: I dont, as amber said attraction at first sight, yes definitely 87. Santa Claus: Uh duhh, havent you watched his movies?! He's out there 88. Kiss on the first date: how can you not believe in this???? I believe in this the MOST 89. Angels: harry and louis literally exist how the FUCK can you not believe in angels OTHER… 
90. Current best friend’s name: (i HATE US but same as amber AGAIN) i dont call one person my bestfriend anymore, i have a small circle of bestfriends 91. Eye colour: green/greyish i guess 92. Favourite movie: 10 things i hate about you, clueless, the batman trilogy, catws Soooooo this took me longer than i planned, anyway lets tag @hunkyniall @yslsaint @givelarryachonce @actualhumansunshine @nowayoutalongwaydown @iicfhome @celestineal @bananasnouis @loveableirishman @peppyniall @bus1pride i want to get to know y'all, if you dont want to do this trust me i get it dont worry xxx

[southernconstellatiions]

Get to know me!

Tagged by @pyroinquisitor !!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag people

THE LAST:

1. Drink: i had an orange soda with lunch xD 2. Phone call: i called my mom to have her pick me up so i could do laundry o: 3. Text message: sent a snap to my boyfriend telling him i love him and to he safe while hes delivering food in the rain 💕 4. Song you listened to: motion sickness by neck deep (im so excited for the new album) 5. Time you cried: tbh i just cry in my sleep sometimes because im a mess and constantly over stress and worry about everything xD

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: only this one time a year ago because my boyfriend was going through a rough time and we took a ‘break’ kinda ;-; 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yeah, all my exes and more than once ive played drunk spin the bottle 8. Been cheated on: every relationship except this one :s 9. Lost someone special: lost, as in died? only family members when i was a lot younger. im absolutely terrified of anything ever happening to my boyfriend or my mom 10. Been depressed: once i didnt leave the house for three months straight so take a wild guess lol 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i spent most of my freshman year drunk but i hold my liquor real well so thats always been good xD

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12-14. dark blue, purple, and red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: kinda, in a way? 16. Fallen out of love: no, thankfully i fall more in love each day 17. Laughed until you cried: at least five times that i can think of 18. Found out someone was talking about you: not that im aware of which is hopefully good 19. Met someone who changed you: met him years ago xD 20. Found out who your friends are: ive only got like three and im okay with that 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i dont technically use facebook but my boyfriend was on my facebook list

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: maybe less than a hundred, the other 4500 friends and 2000 subscribers are all from when i did sitemodeling years ago because i was an emo fuck 23. Do you have any pets: eight dogs xD 24. Do you want to change your name: maybe my last name xp 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went out to this bar where they make you custom cheeseburgers with my boyfriend, mom and her boyfriend 26. What time did you wake up: around 5pm like usual :p 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching the last episode of K o: 28. Name something you can’t wait for: my boyfriend to get home from work and to get a car since i finally got my license xD 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: two nights ago o: 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: if i could be a little skinnier and rich thatd be great xD 31. What are you listening to right now: the new episode of teen mom 2 xD 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: when i was in high school i knew this guy i called handshake guy because he never gave me hugs and i didnt know his name, but he finally rold me what it was the day he left school 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: how hot it is, 110°+ daily is absolutely ridiculous. thankfully monsoon season makes it slightly more bearable at night 34. Most visited website: probably twitter or tumblr 35. Mole/s: none 36. Mark/s: i have a scar on my knee from when i fell down a hill on elementary school during olympics day xD 37. Childhood dream: to eat more party pizzas than anyone in the worls 38. Hair colour: my original hair color is an ugly brown :/ but at the moment its half blue and half purple 39. Long or short hair: definitely long, my hairs never been shorter than my shoulders, right now its mid-back 40. Do you have a crush on someone: my love cx 41. What do you like about yourself?: i have good relationships and good taste in anime 42. Piercings: nose and snakebites but ive had so many more 43. Blood type: never gotten my blood drawn and havent been to a doctor since i was in elementary school so who the hell knows xD 44. Nickname: kaylaa, lightpole #1, white grape 45. Relationship status: taken 💗 46. Zodiac: scorpio 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV Show(s): game of thrones, naruto, one punch man, greys anatomy and like a billion more xD 50. Right or left hand: im ambidextrous which is pretty convenient sometimes lol 51. Surgery: none, that shits scary 52. Hair dyed in different colour: red, blue, pink, blonde, black, purple, brown, white, yellow 53. Sport: i hate sports and ive never played anything. i even took online pe to graduate lol 55. Vacation: id love to go to Japan or Europe. my favorite places ive been are washington and pennsylvania                                         56. Pair of trainers: idk what that’s referring to xD

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: wish i could be eating taco bell 58. Drinking: nothing o: 59. I’m about to: finish this episode of reen mom and then go to walmart xD 61. Waiting for: my love to get off work 62. Want: unlimited money xD 63. Get married: i neved wanted to but now i do 64. Career: id love to make a career out of my mosaics and stained glass

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: my boyfriend gives me these super big hugs and kisses my face all over and its one of my favorite things cx 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach xD 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive i suppose o: but my boyfriend gets loud and excited when he’s playing games with his friends and its cute seeing him all happy cx 72. Hook up or relationship: def. relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, ive had enough trouble throughout my life xD

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: during drunk spin ths bottle years ago lol 75. Drank hard liquor: so damn much 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: forever thankful i have perfect eyesight xD 77. Turned someone down: so many people tbh 78. Sex on the first date: nah 79. Broken someone’s heart: tbh probably 80. Had your heart broken: not yet thankfully 81. Been arrested: when i stole stuff from walmart in high school :/ 82. Cried when someone died: mmhmm 83. Fallen for a friend: my best friend and its been the best thing thats ever happened to me c:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: not really 85. Miracles: ehh 86. Love at first sight: kinda cx 87. Santa Claus: no xD 88. Kiss on the first date: thats fine i guess as long as it goes well??

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: lorenzo 💕 91. Eye colour: this greyish color :o 92. Favourite movie: balto, harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban, just like heaven o:

[rosecolored-gay]

All the questions

Thanks Anon!

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

- Sort of?

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

- I guess I forgive her, but I’ll never forget it.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

- “... and Florence almost enjoyed the attention she was getting” - RubyFruit Jungle

4: What’s something you really want right now?

- For it to be thursday night already.

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

- I’m not sure, I just don’t want to get hurt again.

6: How can I win your heart?

- Be real with me, be funny. Listen to music with me, just be happy with me. And I love ugly selfies.

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

- Yes, it’s really not comfortable.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

- My lock screen is me being licked on the face by a wolf, and my home screen is Abe and I.

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

- Mine, Abe’s, Brandi’s, Caitlin’s

10: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

- It was one of my coworkers, Lex, she definitely meant it.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

- Hah, no. But I’m thankful some things happened because of the amazing opportunities I’ve gotten.

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

- I think it was Sofia

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

- Both

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

- Emotional

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

- Art museum. If I’m going to a place where there’s animals in cages it better be a sanctuary.

16: Are you tired?

- I am so tired.

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

- It’s my mom.

18: If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

- 7th grade? Or senior year of high school

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

- I can thankfully say no to this one now.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

- It’s been a week and we argued. Oh well.

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

- Nah, why rush?

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

- No. No. No. No. No.

23: When was the last time you were disappointed?

- About 4 days ago.

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

- “Shit ain’t shit” - Jimmy Gold - Stephen King

25: What’s on your mind?

- Thursday night! I have a date :D

26: Do you have any tattoos?

- I have 3 pieces. The alchemy symbol for air, a heart, and the famous Houkasai piece

27: What is your favorite color?

- I love grey and aqua/teal

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

- Idk, let’s see what happens.

29: Who are you texting?

- Sofia

30: Are you superstitious about anything?

- Nah

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

- Yep. And it ruined me for like 4 months, but it’s all good now

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

- Jimmy is my best guy friend

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? 

- I don’t know?

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

- Yes

35: What was the reason for your last breakup?

-  That’s a long story.

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

- This year, yes I was

37: Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike.

- I literally hate my body, but I have nice eyebrows

38: What do your friends call you?

- Almost everyone calls me Alyssa, but Cedrik calls me Aly, Jimmy calls me boo boo, and Abe calls me boobie or megatron. Sofia also called me an egg so..

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

- Yeah, but I stopped caring about them so oh well

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

- Yes

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

- My knee, I smacked it on a bag rack at work

42: What is it from?

- ^

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

- Um, like 2 weeks ago

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

- I was on FaceTime with Abe yesterday

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

- I love my grey vans or my all black nikes

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

- Omg yes, I love my hats

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

- Nope

48: Do you make supper for your family?

- My mom won’t let me near the kitchen

49: What’s the toughest decision you made this year?

- To finally push someone out of my life

50: Top 3 web-pages?

- Tumblr, Snap, Twitter

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

- Me! Depending on what it’s for

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

- My feet are killing me

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

- Sometimes

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

- Water this morning

55: How is your hair?

- Fluffy and soft as hell

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

- Check my phone and pee

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

- Yes

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

- I was 10, so yes.

59: Green or purple grapes?

- Purple! 

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

- Tomorrow when I see Megan!!!!

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

- Kinda yeah

62: What did your father teach you?

- How to be a good person.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

- Asleep

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

- Sleeping

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

- Yeah, my ex and I were still together.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

- Abe.

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

- I hugged a few people. Heather, Lex, Robbie, and Starr

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

- “wow that was so cute”

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

- This question is how my life is.

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

- 2

71: If you won 100 million dollars, what would you buy first?

- I’d buy my dad a new Jeep.

72: What is your ringtone?

- For phone calls it’s the default. Except for Abe. When she calls me, “Baby got back” plays

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

- 20 years and 6 months

74: Where is your Mum right now?

- In her bed

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

-They broke my heart?

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

- Yes

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

- Some people.

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

- Ana

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

- Yes!

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

- Yeah, it’s nice. But I prefer having my hair played with until I knock out

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

- 2

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

- Yes because Abe never lets me pee in fucking peace

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

- Yeeee

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

- Abe and/or Caitlin

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

- I mean as long as it was only like pot and it was occasional no

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

- I made a joke about lesbians during wonder woman and Abe slapped me

87: Who was your last received call from?

- Dad

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

-No

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

- Money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

- Yes, bad idea

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

- Only if it’s cold out which never happens in florida

92: Do you get along with girls?

- Sometimes

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

- Yes, but I have good reasons.

94: Does sex mean love?

- Not always.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

- I’d be annoyed as hell

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

- No

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

- No, I slept next to Abe like 3 times last week

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

- Yes

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

- No

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

- Abe

[segadores-y-soldados]

Hola, amigos!

Hit another follower milestone the other day and like holy hell, I just cannot believe there are so many of you hanging out here??  Seriously, thank you for all the love and support, especially on that “Gabriel/Reaper is mlm/gay-coded” post.  It meant so much to me to see all the people supporting it in the tags.  

Normally when I hit these follower milestones, I do a little introduction about who I am for newcomers and to help older followers remember who I am and what I’m about.  In this one, I’m gonna do something a little different.  I’m gonna do a small showcase of my writing.

Tumblr username: Segadores-y-soldados AO3 username: clickclickBANG Semi-personal info: transdude from California, please use he/him for me Semi-relevant skills: slowly improving my Spanish - feel free to correct my nonsense Content: All Overwatch stuff, lots of Reaper76 shippy stuff - be sure to look at my About page to find my other ships I’ll reblog

Works Showcase:

Old Habits (Rating: T - Action/Adventure - slow-burn Reaper76): 

“We’re gonna blow the train - ”

“Do you think that maybe - just maybe - blowing up a bridge with a fucking military-grade bomb on it is...not a great idea?” Reaper growls, and Widowmaker shoots him another bitter glare.

Hernandez, genius military strategist that he is not, frowns a little at this, before saying, “Ya know… we’re just gonna have to roll with it because we don’t got any other options.”

“...We could hijack the train?”  You know, like normal terrorist assholes.

“Nah, they got extra security on there - brought in some fancy Helix guards from Egypt itself after that shitshow in Grand Mesa two days ago.  Gonna be extra tough to stop it without heavy fire power.”

This is a recipe for disaster.

“Anyways, y’all ain’t even gonna be at the blast site,” Hernandez continues, sliding onto the crude overhead map of the gorge.  Reaper can see some of the buildings that line the winding road of Deadlock Gorge, as Hernandez points a baton of a finger at some of the buildings closest to the entrance to the Deadlock base, “Y’all are gonna be here and here - ” he points to a tunnel on the southern side of the map, cut into the cliffs, “We think that posting y’all up in the tunnel o’ mysteries here and in the guard house here - ” he moves his hand to the building on the north side of the road, the one built into the bluff, “ - will best suit our needs.  The gang and I - we’re gonna be out here, in the diner - ” he moves his finger to the far west side of the map, to the building almost directly under the blast site, “ - so that we can jump on the cargo rapido, get ‘em while they’re surprised.  If everything goes according to plan, we’ll meet up with y’all at the first gate here, and it should be smooth sailing into the base.”

“Except for the part where the military and Helix fucking rain hellfire on us, right?” Reaper asks, and he sees some of the Talon agents glance at each other, “Cause you didn’t mention that part.”

“Well, yeah, no shit they’re gonna be pissed.  But don’t you worry your ugly little head, hombre de craneo, we’re gonna take care of the worst of ‘em.  Got us some heavy duty shit, if you know what I mean.”  Hernandez flashes a toothy grin and Reaper rolls his eyes.

Blowing up a bridge, a military-grade bomb, and rocket launchers.

Fucking swell.

“Why even bring us here if you weren’t gonna let Widowmaker snipe for you?” Reaper asks sourly.

“Well, uh…” Hernandez stumbles over his genius military strategy, “She can, uh...snipe from the cliffside where you’re at.”

“Does it have a view for sniping?” he snaps at the gang leader who mumbles, “I...uh...don’t know?”

Reaper sighs, rubbing at the forehead of his mask as if that would help clear up his real headache at all before muttering, “Alright, listen, here’s a better plan -”

“No one asked you, cabrón -”

“No, no one did, but you know, Widowmaker can’t fail this mission and, frankly, right now, this mission is a failure.  How ‘bout instead, we’re gonna be posted here, on this cliff - ”  Reaper points a talon at the cliff just east across the road from the diner, but on the non-blast side, “ - Widowmaker and - which one of you assholes can snipe?  Oh, Henri, right - Widowmaker and Henri will be up here, and once the blast is cleared, you two will start sniping the wreck survivors.  If they’ve brought in Helix from Egypt, that means Raptora Mark VI units, which are fliers with rocket power, so you’re gonna want snipers on the scene ASAP.  Me and these other assholes, we’re gonna be posted up in this ground tunnel just beneath Widowmaker and Henri, so we can help out with some of the ground units that are bound to show up - they always fucking do.  If we move fast, we can get the payload past this cliff and by this building here before they even know what hit them.  AT THAT POINT, we can start fanning back out - no need to put all of our eggs in one basket, that’s just begging for us all to get blown the fuck up.  Widowmaker’s squad will back out to the positions you originally suggested, but we’ll crawl on it, moving behind that building and up to the tunnels by the first gate.  There’s gotta be a second or even third military train of support for this - there’s no way in fucking hell they’re letting this go with only one train.  That means backup will be hitting us just before the first gate if we’re unlucky, or just past it if we’re lucky - we want it to be past the first gate as soon as fucking possible, so that we can block them off if need be.  Shoring up these tunnels around the gate is gonna be a pain in the ass, why do you even have them here?  But well, I guess we’ll just have to fucking deal with them.  I don’t like the look of this curve with all these buildings here - ridiculously fucking open to airstrikes and heavy ground-level pushes, but we’ll just have to ambush them out of the buildings instead - I take it you don’t give a shit if these shitholes are still standing after this?”

Reaper pauses, but when the tractor of a man doesn’t respond, he finally looks up from the map to see that…

Oh.

They’re all staring at him.

Oh shit. --------- 76 + 127: How We Were Made (Rating: Explicit - Reaper76 (SEP-era Morreyeson)):  Even now, Jack knows Gabriel has already found a way out of his cell. 

Jack just has no idea what he did. 

Think outside the box, he can practically hear Gabriel whisper incessantly to him in his rattling, loose brain. 

I can’t, Gabe - I’m fucking trapped inside the box. 

You just gotta assess the situation critically.  You have advantages, Jack - you just gotta find them. 

Advantages. 

Sure. 

Being locked in a cell has zero advantages over a guard in light body armor and a rubber-bullet gun. 

The haze of sleepiness and exhaustion and pent-up frustration and roiling, thunderous energy in his veins is killing every idea in his head. 

Look at your situation, think of what you have that 16 or 14 doesn’t. 

“...So you are you gonna suck 16’s dick or nah?” 83 asks him vaguely from across the hall. 

Sucking dicks is thinking outside the box, right? Jack half-wonders to himself, half to whatever sliver of Gabriel exists in his exhausted mind.  He can practically see Gabriel’s shrug - Gabriel would understand if Jack sucked a dick to get out of jail.  Gabriel would probably do that himself. 

Had Gabriel sucked his guard’s dick for the key? 

The thought alone makes his head pound harder. 

Jack grunts, “Fuck off.  Get 99 to do it.” 

“Dude, I fucking will,” 99 whines but 100 snorts, “16 won’t want you, asshole.  At least 76 is attractive.” 

Reflexively, Jack makes a face as 78 chuckles. 

“Y’all know I fucking hear you, right?” Jack asks loudly and 100 calls back, “Oh, we know.  We just don’t care.” 

Think, Jack.  Think about your advantages. 

I don’t have any, Gabriel. You can think outside of the box.  I can’t.  I’m not like you.  I’m not good enough.  Not smart enough. 

I’m inside the box. 

I’ve always been inside the box.  

---------

(More content under the cut)

---------

Sharpshooter: Hit Me Like A Drum (Rating: T - McHanzo): At this point in his life, Jesse is used to the stares. Doesn’t matter where he goes, people oogle him. Well, okay, not entirely true - some parts of Central and Southern America still got some authentic vaqueros and oddly enough some banditos, but even there, Jesse’s height makes him stand easily above most heads and shoulders. 

And yes, okay, maaaaybe the hat doesn’t help. But he’ll let the Devil drag him to Hell kicking and screaming before giving up the damn thing. 

So he barely notices the glances the poor patrons of Rikimaru are shooting his way when someone behind him taps him just above his right elbow. 

Jesse jerks a little, startling out of his semi-mosing thoughts and vacant-eyed stare at the menu to twist and little and glance behind him and oh Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Arizona Diamondbacks, what a gorgeous face. 

The man behind him is a beautiful mix of high, sweeping curves and careful angles - his face is fairly chiseled but features a softness to it that is offset by the neatly trimmed beard and steady glint in his deep, dark eyes. His jet-black hair, peppered on the sides with some strands of grey, is pulled back into a small ponytail at the back of his head, and Jesse thinks he sees a long yellow...ribbon holding it back. But otherwise the man is dressed in a simple sweatshirt and some black jeans except that - 

Is that a fucking bow and quiver? Jesse wonders. The man is not much shorter than him - only a few inches - but Jesse can see something slung over his shoulder and something else that looks suspiciously like a bunch of arrow feathers poking out from behind his back. 

Jesse flicks his eyes from the apparent quiver back to the man’s amazing face and his dark eyes and immediately knows two things: 

1 - This man is absolutely the most handsome person Jesse has ever had the blessed fortune of meeting. 

2 - He does not understand a word coming out of the man’s mouth. 

“...Pardon?” Jesse asks absently, blinking awkwardly. The...archer (?) tilts his head a little and scowls a bit - oh jackrabbit turds, I pissed him right off - before saying in flawless English, “It is your turn.” 

Oh. Jesse thinks lamely. English. 

“Oh uh, thanks, partner,” Jesse says awkwardly, glancing back towards the counter where one of the chefs is waiting with an expression of stern politeness that is fading into increasing annoyance. Jesse makes eye contact with the chef and she gives him a small handwave of “hurry up, tourist, I don’t have all day.” 

“Uh…” Jesse glances back sheepishly at the man behind me, giving him an embarrassed smile, “You wouldn’t happen to know which one is the spicy pork ramen, would you?” 

The man’s scowl fades for a quick second before returning, and he says with startlingly serious focus, “Oh. You can’t read it.” 

“Uh…no, sorry ‘bout that, darlin’,” Jesse apologizes without thinking and the man raises an eyebrow, asking, “‘Darling?’” 

OH FUCK ME AND MY DUMB ASS 

Why, yes, please do, the wiseass side of Jesse cracks in his head and he fucking flounders over the barrage of shame and embarrassment and attraction. 

“Oh, damn, shit, sorry - oh cheese on a cracker, I shouldn’t be swearing, oh god you’re gonna think I was never taught manners - shoot, sugar, I’m so sorry, it’s a bad habit I got from my pa and - Shit, I just did it again - sorry, it’s been a long trip here and, oh Lord, I just swore again, this is so embarrassing -” 

A startled look of wonder blossoms on the man’s face and if Jesse wasn’t so fucking flustered, he would love to try and mentally catalogue how the man looks so open and surprised. Jesse is in the middle of tripping over his words when the unthinkable happens.  

A miracle occurs. 

The man gives a surprisingly broad and genuinely happy grin and starts to laugh.   --------- Segador: It Is Not Him (Rating - T):

Gabriel practically jogs up to her in the hallway to the main entrance, muttering, “Gabrielle…  Gabrielle… Adawe, fucking stop.”

That gets her attention, and she snaps around towards him with a fierce stare, squaring herself up to him rather impressively with her short stature as she whispers dangerously, “Do not take that tone of voice with me, Gabriel -”

“I can’t do this.”

Adawe pauses because -

There’s a cracking in his voice.

Gabriel knows he has problems conveying his emotions - Jack always jokes that Gabriel’s face could make a bed of nails look soft.  Gabriel knows he has problems expressing himself - he can never find the right words to say.  Gabriel knows he has problems opening up - his heart struggles behind the layers of steel and bravado and taunting sarcasm, barriers only a select few have managed to get past.

Gabriel knows he has problems taking pictures.

Gabriel locks onto her dark eyes and -

He wouldn’t call it begging, per se -

But he’s definitely pleading with her:

“Please… Please, Gabrielle - we need to talk about this,” he says softly and Adawe’s dark mood lightens a bit as she says to him gently, “...It is just a few pictures, Gabriel.”

“...It’s not the pictures, Gabrielle.”

Adawe’s eyes - normally so bright and lively, now turned solemn and serious - search his for an answer and Gabriel whispers, dangerously close to feeling vulnerable -

He feels uncomfortable.

He feels unlike himself.

“This isn’t me, Gabrielle,” Gabriel says, his voice breaking under the pressure of a too-tight headset and the pressure of a too-tight chestpiece and the weight of carrying an empty rifle that isn’t his, “The meetings, the Security Council, planning city reconstructions, balancing budgets - I’m a general, not a politician.”

“There are still many parts of the world under great violence, Gabriel,” she reminds him, with a gentle pressure but a pressure nonetheless, “The world still needs you as Commander.”

“Out there, on the battlefield, sure, yeah, fuck, I’ll fight, I’ll always fight, but this?” Gabriel says, gesturing to himself, to the ridiculous blue pieces of armor and the empty rifle, “This is playing fucking dress-up -”

“Funny,” Adawe smirks at him, “I thought you would have liked that, considering your fondness for that American costume holiday.”

“This isn’t fucking Halloween, Adawe,” he snaps, perhaps a touch more...violently than he should have, “This is not what I wore when I was ripping heads off Bastions or tripping up Spiders or even destroying Titans - and it won’t be what I wear when I put down terrorists or gangs or mercenaries.”

“It’s just a photoshoot, Reyes -”

“We need to talk about putting Jack or Ana in charge of Overwatch.”

Adawe stops, her mouth sealing into a tight line and Gabriel scowls at her, muttering in a low, dark, bittersweet growl, his words curling out of his lungs like black smoke, “I’ll fight whatever new battles this damn organization faces, I’ll do whatever needs to be done - whether that’s mercing a few bad guys or cleaning up the leftover Bastions or fucking balancing budgets - but you cannot keep putting this off on me. We both know that this is a fucking sham, my math skills aren’t fucking great, I can't persuade anyone anything for shit, and you need someone who will fight your political battles, who will balance your budgets, who will find great recruits, and who will actually take good photos when you pressure them into it -

“And we both know that is not me.”

[radiohorizon]

38 years later

200 things you can put in my ask 200: My crush’s name is: Lacey😛😍
199: I was born in: 1999
198: I am really: short, tired, sarcastic, idk??
197: My cellphone company is: verizon
196: My eye color is: blue/grey
195: My shoe size is: 3 in kids, 5 in womens
194: My ring size is: i have no idea, probably small but not too small cause i got far fingers
193: My height is: 5'1
192: I am allergic to: sulfa drugs and grass
191: My 1st car was: dont have one
190: My 1st job was: waitress at a local restaurant 
189: Last book you read: King Lear in school but Clockwork Princess for fun
188: My bed is: my favorite and super comfy and my best friend literally comes over just to nap in it
187: My pet: 2 cats, 1 dog
186: My best friend: Andrew, Elizabeth, Abby, Katie, Kristy, Annabelle, Kyle, Hailey, Stevie, Bea
185: My favorite shampoo is: Suave Ocean
184: Xbox or ps3: xbox
183: Piggy banks are: idrc about them??
182: In my pockets: dont have pockeys rn
181: On my calendar: nothings
180: Marriage is: in my future
179: Spongebob can: idrc cause idc
178: My mom: is my favorite person
177: The last three songs I bought were? Wasted youth by fletcher In too deep by the sweeplings Is there somewhere by halsey 176: Last YouTube video watched: “50 things about me” by Nina Jablonska
175: How many cousins do you have? A shit ton
174: Do you have any siblings? 1 sister and 1 brother that ive never met
173: Are your parents divorced? No and i never see them getting divorced. Theyre honestly the only reason i still believe in love
172: Are you taller than your mom? We’re the same height actually
171: Do you play an instrument? Nope
170: What did you do yesterday? Went to school, studied, talked to Lacey, went to sleep

[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: i dunno
168: Luck: yes
167: Fate: yes
166: Yourself: lmao no
165: Aliens: yes
164: Heaven: i think
163: Hell: yes
162: God: i believe in something
161: Horoscopes: im not sure
160: Soul mates: yes
159: Ghosts: yes
158: Gay Marriage: duh
157: War: i dont really know
156: Orbs: yes
155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs
153: Drunk or High: high
152: Phone or Online: depends
151: Red heads or Black haired: dont care
150: Blondes or Brunettes: dont care
149: Hot or cold: cold
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: autumn
146: Chocolate or vanilla: depends because i love chocolate but it gives me headaches
145: Night or Day: night
144: Oranges or Apples: oranges
143: Curly or Straight hair: honestly dont care
142: McDonalds or Burger King: burger king for burgers, mcdonalds for snack wrap
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate
140: Mac or PC: PC
139: Flip flops or high heals: depends
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor
137: Coke or Pepsi: coke
136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA 
135: Burried or cremated: buried in the cemetery up the road from where i live
134: Singing or Dancing: dancing
133: Coach or Chanel: dont care
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they?
131: Small town or Big city: small town
130: Wal-Mart or Target: how bout kohls
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam Sandler
128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure because im reallllly ticklish on my feet and i end up flinching the whole time
127: East Coast or West Coast: only ever been on the east coast so idrk
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas
125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate
124: Disney or Six Flags: disney!!!
123: Yankees or Red Sox: how bout Orioles

[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: i respect the people fighting for our country and for others, but i wish everyone could just stop killing eachother
121: George Bush: gross
120: Gay Marriage: Gaaaaayyyyyy
119: The presidential election: grosser
118: Abortion: no judgement on whether or not someone decides to get one. Personally i dont think i could, but will always vote pro choice
117: MySpace: never had one so idk
116: Reality TV: can be entertaining but usually really dumb
115: Parents: i love them more than anything
114: Back stabbers: fuck you
113: Ebay: sketchy
112: Facebook: people are annoying and i hate that i live in hick central
111: Work: dont have ajob but am trying to get one
110: My Neighbors: since 3 of my best friends are my neighbors, i guess theyre alright
109: Gas Prices: way too fucking high
108: Designer Clothes: dont care about them UNLESS its converse because thats my shit right there
107: College: start it in 5 months :(
106: Sports: love em but suck at em
105: My family: my rock and support, but they piss me off a lot
104: The future: scares the fuck out of me

[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: a few ninutes ago
102: Last time you ate: few hours ago
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: about 2-3 weeks ago at the gym
100: Cried in front of someone: a few weeks ago i cried in front of abby because i found out kelsey has a girlfriend
99: Went to a movie theater: two weekends ago and saw Get Out and holy shit its good
98: Took a vacation: 2-3 years ago
97: Swam in a pool: 2 years ago i think
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: little over a month ago
94: Went to a wedding: last summer
93: Broke a bone: never
92: Got a peircing: last spring
91: Broke the law: never i think?
90: Texted: about 2 seconds ago i texted Lacey

[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: My lunch table
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cats and my moms hugs
87: The last movie I saw: i saw get out in theaters but watched thunderbirds for the millionth time in art so im a happy camper
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: getting the fuck away from this place and these memories
85: The thing im not looking forward to: graduating, starting college, moving away, leaving my friends, leaving my animals, growing up, the list could go on forever
84: People call me: elizabeth, beth, bethany, lizzy, liz, bethyboo, bethers, bethy,
83: The most difficult thing to do is: move on and let go
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: pisces
80: The first person i talked to today was: lacey or bea idrk
79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: no one, im pretty good with keeping a good face on
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: i have no idea
76: Right now I am talking to: Lace💜👑
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: homicide detective or BAU
74: I have/will get a job: soon hopefully
73: Tomorrow: school, test, paint, facetime this beautiful girl, sleep
72: Today: school, test, painted, studied
71: Next Summer: senior weeek🤙🏻 and hopefully just simple hangouts with friends
70: Next Weekend: Stevenson university visit
69: I have these pets: 2 cats (sadie and ziva) and 1 dog (westen oliver)
68: The worst sound in the world: hearing people chew or breathe hard
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my ex
66: People that make you happy: my friends and parents
65: Last time I cried: last night
64: My friends are: the only reason im alive
63: My computer is: a Windows something
62: My School: sucks
61: My Car: doesnt exist
60: I lose all respect for people who: judge others with no reason and refuse to be nice
59: The movie I cried at was: if I stay and hunger games trilogy
58: Your hair color is: dirty blonde/ light brown
57: TV shows you watch: criminal minds, shameless, the 100, friends, the fosters, lie to me, NCIS, scooby doo
56: Favorite web site: tumblr 
55: Your dream vacation: a lake house
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: recovery after my heart surgery and when they had to take out my chest tubes
53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium
52: My room is: messy but my favorite place
51: My favorite celebrity is: jennifer lawrence or ryan Reynolds or josh hucherson or Noel Fisher
50: Where would you like to be: childhood
49: Do you want children: yes
48: Ever been in love: ye
47: Who’s your best friend: the twins, fergs, abby, rat pack, stevie, hailey, bea
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: gaining more flexibility
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: jarred
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not really
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: sorta
41: Have you pre-named your children: yepp. Daesin, Fiona, tegan and ryan
40: Last person I got mad at: my dad
39: I would like to move to: maryland or deleware
38: I wish I was a professional: dancer

[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: gummy bears and kit kats or smarties
36: Vehicle: jeep Cherokee 
35: President: OBAMA
34: State visited: Florida
33: Cellphone provider: dunno
32: Athlete: Misty Copeland
31: Actor: Ryan Reynolds and Noel Fisher
30: Actress: Jennifer Lawrence
29: Singer: Amy Lee
28: Band: Evanescence
27: Clothing store: KOHLS
26: Grocery store: giant
25: TV show: shameless
24: Movie: thunderbirds or chitty chitty bang bang
23: Website: tumblr
22: Animal: monkey
21: Theme park: disney
20: Holiday: halloween
19: Sport to watch: allstar cheerleading or soccer
18: Sport to play: soccer
17: Magazine: dont have one but if i did i guess people?
16: Book: WAYYY too many
15: Day of the week: wednesday
14: Beach: bethany beach
13: Concert attended: evanescence even tho i couldnt see shit
12: Thing to cook: grilled cheese
11: Food: cheeseburger
10: Restaurant: green turtle
9: Radio station: 106.5
8: Yankee candle scent: i dunno
7: Perfume: hollister or ed hardy
6: Flower: rose
5: Color: purple
4: Talk show host: my girl ellen
3: Comedian: john Maloney, kevin heart, illiza shelshinger 
2: Dog breed: golden retriever 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yeppers

[hunnicosplay]

I’m sorry

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

um this boi
2. Are you outgoing or shy?

rlly rlly rlly depends on the situation and people
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

ofc bae and this other person 
4. Are you easy to get along with?

depends
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

lmao what
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

don’t be a ass ; being sweet/kind is hot
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

honestly i hope to ? But we aren’t sure so 
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Refer to person from above
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? depends who it’s with
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

a friend 
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

I know fuck u
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Jessi J - Down

Prince of Egypt - The Plagues

AOA - Super Duper

Momoland - Baam

(G)I-DLE - Latata
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes in every way like (kinK)
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

lmao what
15. What good thing happened this summer?

Seeing bae ! and going to china
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yes tbh 
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

no i know the universe is all expanding and shit but i don’t
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

fuck that was in ugly middle school we don’t relive those fuck days 
19. Do you like bubble baths?

yes ? 
20. Do you like your neighbors?

tbh don’t know them that well but they have cute dogs
21. What are you bad habits?

procrastination, the oldest trick in the book
22. Where would you like to travel?

Ah so many places like the dream three places would be Korea, Japan, and either Hong Kong or shanghai
23. Do you have trust issues?

next question 
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

sleeping or having dinner with myself bc I can’t cancel thAT AGAIN
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my stomach or my legs bc ew fuck
26. What do you do when you wake up?

sleep some more
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

tbh i used to wish my skin was lighter but now i don’t really care that much 
28. Who are you most comfortable around?

bae in all honesty and my friend in Dallas bc i know you both won’t judge me
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

daring for you to assume i ever dated
30. Do you ever want to get married?

? maybe ? 
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yup i have small Bebe one on my head
32. Which celebrities would youhave a threesome with?

you’d prob already know who?

like peak would be felton & hiddleston or stan is a fine ass snacc
33. Spell your name with your chin.

but revealing my true identity would be weird to beef 
34. Do you play sports? What sports?

golf but apparently some don’t assume it’s a sport so
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

fuck tv
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

lmao next
37. What do you say during awkward silences?

i am weird asf moving on
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

again?? um just be fun and sweet
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

forever21, h&m, fashion nova, pacsun
40. What do you want to do after high school?

travel
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

? hm
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

we’re either having a staring contest or im awkward
43. Do you smile at strangers?

unless you a snacc nope 
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

both? but the ocean more bc ahh i love the ocean
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

food give me food
46. What are you paranoid about?

the dark. After ive watched a horror movie
47. Have you ever been high?

nope bc jm an angel
48. Have you ever been drunk?

nope well maybe idk 
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

why reveal now
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

black
51. Ever wished you were someone else?

maybe a rich family will adopt me, Im cUte
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

skinnier, So vane : vain how do u spell shit?
53. Favourite makeup brand?

lime crime or colour pop
54. Favourite store?

again? refer to above many questions ago
55. Favourite blog?

tbh ours and my personal is ok
56. Favourite colour?

black or red or white
57. Favourite food?

asian food 
58. Last thing you ate?

ice cream bc ifat
59. First thing you ate this morning?

?? didn’t eat
60. Ever won a competition? For what?

bold of you to assume im talented ; oh wait golf
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

what are they gonna do?

expEl me ?
62. Been arrested? For what?

no 
63. Ever been in love?

no ones love me 
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

since IM a Hoe ; it was one of my FWB but it was nice ; we went to the movies and we cuddled and we well kissed
65. Are you hungry right now?

25/8 always hunger
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

my real friends and tumblr ones
67. Facebook or Twitter?

garbage or garage
68. Twitter or Tumblr?

garage or memes

memes
69. Are you watching tv right now?

no
70. Names of your bestfriends?

beef, david, cameron, kathryn, timmy(demon child), this friend in dallas
71. Craving something? What?

mm food
72. What colour are your towels?

white ? 
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

4 bc i Need SoFt
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

since I’m like 5 yrs old yes
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

I can’t count fthat high sorry
75. Favourite animal?

snake or or dog
76. What colour is your underwear?

black & grey
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

ChcoLate
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

mint chocolate chip you can fight me
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

blue as the ocean 
80. What colour pants?

Bold of to assume I’m wearing pants
81. Favourite tv show?

criminal minds or leverage
82. Favourite movie?

hm that’s too hard for me sorrt
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

oops
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

oops x2
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

oops x3
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

the seagulls or the fishes from the fish tank
87. First person you talked to today?

the brothers
88. Last person you talked to today?

the brother
89. Name a person you hate?

stars with m and ends with aegan
90. Name a person you love?

oh
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

does myself count
92. In a fight with someone?what a surprise no, well only if this is a physical fight
93. How many sweatpants do you have?

one I think?

[d-el-e-ted]

All

I do not like you right now anon but alright all of them

1: Full nameJessica Nichole Ybarra

2: Age 21

3: 3 FearsNot being able to accomplish what I want in life, becoming like my parents, and being alone

4: 3 things I loveMy fur child, my family, and that’s about it lol

5: 4 turns onHickies, neck kisses, her being submissive, scratching

6: 4 turns offClingy, being indecisive and inconsiderate I can only think of three

7: My best friend 🤷🏻‍♀️

8: Sexual orientation gay af 🏳️‍🌈

9: My best first date Can’t really remember what happened exactly

10: How tall am I 5’7

11: What do I miss Actually being able to sleep

12: What time were I bornI wanna say sometime in the afternoon?

13: Favourite color turquoise

14: Do I have a crushDear god I do she’s so fucking adorable too

15: Favourite quote“I am the architect of my own destruction” I have this tattooed on me

16: Favourite place my bed

17: Favourite food anything with pasta

18: Do I use sarcasm like 100000% I’m being sarcastic

19: What am I listening to right nowI wanna be by Kehlani

20: First thing I notice in new personFacial features

21: Shoe size 9 22: Eye color light brown23: Hair color dark brown on top light on the bottom

24: Favourite style of clothing skinny jeans, some vans, t shirt, and a dad hat

25: Ever done a prank call? It’s been a long time since I’ve done that 😂

27: Meaning behind my URLI’m a heartless person nothing new

28: Favourite movie too many favs 😩29: Favourite song waaay too many 30: Favourite band the 1975

31: How I feel right now very very tired32: Someone I love 🤔33: My current relationship status single34: My relationship with my parentsHah! That’s too long to put down on here

35: Favourite holiday Christmas36: Tattoos and piercing i have4 tats and 7 piercings

37: Tattoos and piercing i wantI’m done with piercings but def want a lot more tattoos I’m trying to get my bigger pieces done sometime this year

38: The reason I joined TumblrSomeone told me about it and I was curious been hooked on it ever since

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?Uhhhh good question idk lmao

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? I do actually

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?Many times

42: When did I last hold hands? Last night

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? If I have my outfit picked out like 20 minutes if not then depends

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? No I haven’t but I need to

45: Where am I right now? Chillin in my bed46: If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? I have an idea of who I’d want to take care of me

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Sadly

49: Am I excited for anything?To see someone I’ve been wanting to see even though I saw her yesterday

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? My cousin were like siblings

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Couple of times a day

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Last night

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?Well I wouldn’t be happy about it that’s for sure

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? I don’t tell people much as it is so if I do trust them they better not fuck it up

55: What is something I disliked about today?The headache I’m dealing with right now

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Lauren Jauregui 😍

57: What do I think about most? My crush

58: What’s my strangest talent? Water polo

59: Do I have any strange phobias?I don’t think so

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? If I look good then definitely in front of the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? That I was going to my class tonight

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Either one doesn’t matter

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?I believe in both

64: Do I believe in magic? No65: Do I believe in luck? Yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?It’s chilly for SoCal weather

67: What was the last book I’ve read?It was a poetry book called Pillow Thoughts

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? I love it69: Do I have any nicknames?Jess, Jessie, brat, crack, chick, ride

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?Just broke my finger during a polo game

71: Do I spend money or save it? Mostly spend but I do try to save as much as I can

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? It takes me some time but yes I can

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? No74: Favourite animal? Sting ray!75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Sitting shotgun and driving back home

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?I wouldn’t know what to guess anyways

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Any Beyonce song

78: How can you win my heart? Talk to me and find out 😏

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? Hopefully it wasn’t alcohol that put me in here

80: What is my favorite word? Fuck81: My top 5 blogs on tumblrI have more than 5 that’s for sure

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Get these politicians out of here and that Cheeto in office

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? A couple

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?Either reading minds or being invisible

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? If I’ve ever been in love

86: What is my current desktop picture?My wife Lauren Jauregui 👅

87: Had sex? Yes88: Bought condoms? God no 😂89: Gotten pregnant? Fuck no90: Failed a class? Too many actually 91: Kissed a boy? It’s been like 3 years since I have lol92: Kissed a girl? Plenty 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?I have and I think it’s always an intimate moment 94: Had job? Currently working

95: Left the house without my wallet? I try not to96: Bullied someone on the internet? No never!97: Had sex in public? Maybeeeee98: Played on a sports team? No99: Smoked weed? All the fucking time 🌬100: Did drugs? Only thing I’ve tried is E and it was the best thing ever

101: Smoked cigarettes? I’ve tried them but tobacco gives me a major headache so I stay away

102: Drank alcohol? Lowkey an alcoholic 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No104: Been overweight? Couple times 105: Been underweight? No 106: Been to a wedding? No107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?Only if it involves me doing hw

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yesss109: Been outside my home country? Not recently it’s been a couple of years

110: Gotten my heart broken? Who hasn’t 111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes last year I watched my Red Sox play

112: Broken a bone? My finger113: Cut myself? 🤔114: Been to prom? Yes and it was stupid115: Been in airplane? Yes116: Fly by helicopter? No117: What concerts have I been to? None 😔118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Like a shit ton of crushes on them girls are hot

119: Learned another language? French in hs but I hardly remember any of it

120: Wore make up? Sunday I think? 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Yes122: Had oral sex? A lot 123: Dyed my hair? Yes 124: Voted in a presidential election? No125: Rode in an ambulance? Yes126: Had a surgery? Yes 127: Met someone famous? Yes128: Stalked someone on a social network? Here and there I will

129: Peed outside? Yes 130: Been fishing? Been over ten years 131: Helped with charity? Yes 132: Been rejected by a crush? I have 133: Broken a mirror? Yes 134: What do I want for birthday? 💰💵

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? This question solely depends on who I’m having kids with

136: Was I named after anyone? I was named after a song and my great grandmother

137: Do I like my handwriting? No it looks ugly 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? Legos139: Favourite Tv Show? Greys anatomy 140: Where do I want to live when older?Somewhere where I’m stable with everything it doesn’t have to be a specific place

141: Play any musical instrument? Nope142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Depends on which one I’m clumsy af so I have scars almost everywhere

143: Favourite pizza toping? Pepperoni & sausage 144: Am I afraid of the dark? I was when I was younger but I love my room being dark

145: Am I afraid of heights? No146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Sneaking out I never attempted but anything bad I can’t think of any scenarios

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? All the time 148: What I’m really bad at communication

149: What my greatest achievments areI don’t have many on the academic side but for polo there’s a lot

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me I hear this shit all the time from my parents so nothing bugs me at this point

151: What I’d do if I won in a lotteryPay for a lot of shit that needs to be paid

152: What do I like about myself my charm 😌153: My closest Tumblr friend There’s a couple of mutuals out there that are awesome and I’m sorry for losing contact with you all. You guys are all amazing 🙌🏼 and as for new followers come talk to me I’m pretty interesting

154: Something I fantasise about I fantasize about my crush a lot actually

155: Any question you’d like? It’s not a question but next time I reblog something like this I need to make sure there’s not 155 questions cause this literally took forever to answer