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wario-speedwagon · 2 years ago

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Jack’s Squad Has Uno Night

A quick, goofy one-shot fanfic I wrote as copium for the DSAF 3 True Ending

Context (DSAF 3 TRUE ENDING SPOILERS BTW): Everyone has passed onto the afterlife (which is basically Heaven I guess) except at some point, Dave and Blackjack came back for Jack in the void, and Jack and Blackjack re-merged into one being so that Jack could also pass on.

Without further ado,

Jack’s Squad Has Uno Night

“Hey! Hey, you, Phone-face!”

(Oh boy…) “Dave, my face isn’t even a phone anym-”

“Shut up and come play some fuckin’ Uno with us!”

Dave, Dee, Jack, and Peter were all sitting around a table, just about to play their first game of Uno since their Happiest Day.

“Huh. I didn’t even know they had Uno in the afterlife.”

“Come on, Steven, we haven’t started yet, come join us!”

“Eh, sure, why not? What could go wrong��”

“Hell yeah! We got a spot right here for ya!”

“Dave, I better not regret sitting next to you.”

“Sorry boss, but in Uno, there are no promises! ;)”

“Please don't ever wink at me like that again.”

“Alright, let’s do this! I’ve never gotten to play Uno before!”

“Oh shit, really? They had a deck back in the Flipside y’know, you shoulda said something!”

“...They– what. And you didn’t even think to pass some time down there with a game!? You just kept going on about kebabs the whole time instead!”

“God, don’t remind me…”

“Okay, okay! Whatever! Let’s just start the game already. Jack, you’re up.”

“Oh, uh, sure.”

The card to play off of was a green 2. After surveying his hand for a bit, he started to sweat. After a fair bit of consideration, he played a card.

“Bro, those don’t match.”

“Oh, sorry, wrong card.”

He tried again with a red Draw Two.

“Jack–”

“Nope, you’re right, I just, umm–”

“Jack, you haven’t… somehow forgotten how to play–”

“Of course not, Peter, you think I’d forget after all those games we played with Caroline? …Okay…”

He laid down his Wild.

“...

...Okay? Are y–”

“Hush, sir, I’m thinking.”

“It’s the first turn of the game, what is there to think about–”

“I don’t do well under pressure, Steven!”

*sigh*

“Sorry, take your time.”

Jack stared very closely at his hand. “...greeeen. Yeah, green.”

“...But it’s already gr–”

“Oh come on! It was 50/50 each–

Okay, fine, I give up! I tried, but I’m just gonna sit this one out tonight.”

“Jack, what’s up with you, is everything alright?”

“Is it possible–look, I know you’re not a Shadow Doggo right now but– uh–”

“Oooh, I get it! He’s colorblind! Like a doggo!”

“Dave, I swear to God, you better not start being insufferable about this–”

“Oh, c’mon, Sportsy! Would I do that to you?”

“Yes, yes you would Dave.”

“You literally just called me Phone-face minutes ago.”

“Believe me, Steven, you’re not the only one.”

“Jeez, some friends you all are!”

“When I was just Blackjack, you wouldn’t stop treating me like a literal dog!”

“Oh, come on, we're bringin' this up again?! Old sport, you’re exaggerating! And you WERE a doggo in my defense!”

“I told you many times I wouldn’t ‘go fetch,' yet that never stopped you from throwing random stuff and getting all upset every damn time when you had to go get it yourself!”

Dee stifled some laughter.

“Well, ya shouldn’ta chosen to be a fuckin’ doggo then! That's just part of the contract!"

“Dear Lord, we haven’t even played the first card and we’re already fighting. That has to be some kind of record.”

“Alright, Peter, why don’t you just go instead? I– I’ll just watch…”

“A-Are you sure? We can, like, label all the card colors and redeal or something.”

“No. I’m too emotionally defeated right now… Go on without me…”

“O-Okay, if you insist–”

“Gee, Old Sport, no need to be so melan-collie!”

“Someone stop me, I’m gonna strangle him–”

––––––––––––––––––––––––––

It was getting intense. Dee and Peter had a fair number of cards, but Steven and Dave both had just one card left. It was Peter’s turn, and after, it would be Steven’s and then Dave’s. Steven was desperate to win just once tonight, but Dave was grinning like a smug bastard next to him.

(Please, just keep it yellow, Peter, I’m begging you.)

“Sorry, but not sorry, boss.” He had a Draw Four for just the occasion.

“Blue.”

“FUUUCK YEEEAAAAH!” Dave stood up and slammed his last card a little too hard on the poor table.

“HHHHHHH– Y-YOU– YOU MOTHERFFF- H-H-HE-HEC–”

But Dave suddenly turned and grabbed Steven’s shoulders.

“No, Steven, SAY IT! I KNOW YOU’VE GOT IT IN YOU SOMEWHERE!”

“Dave, wh–”

“CALL ME A MOTHERFUCKER, STEVEN.”

“Dave, you’re being scary again–”

“Please, if not for yourself, then do it for me!”

Peter, Dee and Jack were silently transfixed on what was unfolding. Dee reached in for some of Jack's popcorn that he’d microwaved earlier.

“Well, I’m certainly not doing anything for YOU after that bullcrap!”

“It’s ‘BULLSHIT,’ Steven!

...Dammit! And here I thought we had a breakthrough…”

“But look on the bright side, Dave!” She was still chewing popcorn.

“He’s started using the Lord’s name in vain more lately, that’s still something!”

“Yeah, but he was so fuckin’ close! He got to ‘motherf–’! He got to the F, Dee!”

“Why are you creeps all so invested in my speech habits!?”

“Yeah, chill out guys, if you make him feel weird about it, he’ll never want to get better.”

“You’re not helping, Jack.”

“C’mon, Phoney, just look at how far Peter’s come! He swears for just mild inconveniences now!”

“Leave me out of this, Dave…”

“You all can go HECK yourselves.”

#dayshift at freddy's #dsaf #dsaf fanfic #davesport #dsaf jack #dsaf dave #dsaf steven #made by me

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dazedndaydreaming · 7 years ago

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A story

I feel like this may be the only safe place I’ll ever have to share my story without so much judgement. So here is my story no sensors, no lies, no exaggeration, no outside influence. Just the story of my life.

I might as well start at the beginning, I was born on a monday, the worst day of the week, so that should already tell you how my life started. October 6, 1997, I was born. My parents were only teenagers, my father 19 and my mother 17. My mom’s mother, my Moo Moo, tried to take me away from my mom and dad because they were too young. They didn’t let that happen. Moo Moo and Paw Paw (my mother’s father) decided if they couldn’t have me then my mom couldn’t stay there. So she moved in with my father and his mother, later they moved into an apartment next to a flower shop. The man that rented the apartment gave me suckers all the time. My great grandma chased me up the stairs. We fed the squirrels every morning. I ate tomatoes on the porch with my dad, my aunt told me they were gross when I was little and still to this day I refuse to eat them. I used to stomp my foot at my aunt and tell her to take her ass to the store and get me some chocolate milk I was encouraged by my uncle and she did it. For the next couple of years that’s where we lived with our couple of dogs. My best friend and protector was Nike, a giant American Bulldog took care of me and loved me for the next 12 years we were inseparable.We slept together, well he slept below my crib, we watched cartoons together, and ate together, he gave me rides. I miss that dog..

Anyway, two years later my sister was born and I was pretty excited. She was mean as hell from the get go. Here is where I had to learn how to share not only my toys but my family. My stuffed tiger, Numb nuts was actually his name, was only the beginning of what would soon be a war over my things. Nike, he was still mine. He was a loyal and royal subject in my kingdom. It was the feud between Queen Mary and Queen Elizabeth, and I was Mary. Elizabeth won and I lost my head. And then they had another kid my mother is only 21 at this point and has three small kids, this one is King James You know the one that takes over after Elizabeth well it happened, and I’m done with this analogy, back to reality, this reality. My dad was overjoyed to have a son finally and he kind of just let me and my sister grow up with each other I guess, I mean he was still there but he was so wrapped up with my brother. We moved into my great grandmother's farm house so we could take care of her and my great grandpa Mark. She had Alzheimer's and I don’t actually know what happened to him, I just know he was sick. My dad started a dog farm where he rescued and bred Bulldogs mainly but also pitbulls, Mastiffs, and a cane corso. At its biggest size we had 50 adult dogs and too many puppies to keep track of. But they were all treated like family, they were fed three times a day, we had a bath schedule, they were all exercised and healthy. My mom and dad killed themselves to take care of them and my grandmother and uncle never tried, they just ran around and neglected them and asked them for money until they died. When they died their last wish was to make sure that my mom and dad had a place to raise us. My brother Ian was born before they died but just a month before my great grandpa and three months before my great grandma. I remember when my great grandma was in the hospital I was six and I took my Winnie the Pooh book to the hospital and read her the part where Pooh is trying to steal honey with a balloon and it starts to rain and he sings that song about the little black rain cloud. She died later that day, so I guess that was my goodbye to her. After she died my dad started using drugs pretty regularly. When her was 19 or 20 he got in a car accident and they prescribed him a pain killer, so it started innocent it just got so much worse with time. He was still a great dad though.

We moved into an apartment complex the next year. We still took care of the dogs, it was just too painful for my dad to stay there. A year or so later someone snuck on to the farm and poisoned all of the dogs. And Nike died of cancer. So we pretty much just lost everything. We stayed in the apartment for about three years. During those three years I made one of the best friends I ever had, his name was Nick and we did everything together. He and his family became part of my family. We got married in like fourth grade at the top of the hill behind my apartment. The whole family was there. We used to ride our bikes to this place down the street called Friends who Share every Wednesday for a free hot dog, lemonade, cookies, and a bag of chips. we also went inside and got stuff that we needed for free. Everything was donated and it really helped everyone in the community. We rode our bikes back to my house and we would watch whatever show my parents were watching and then we would go play in the room i shared with my sister. I remember taking my sisters mattress off of the bottom bunk and then covering it with all the clothes in our closet and pushing eachother off of my top bunk onto the pile, we were doing this one day and my ankle was caught in the railing and Nick pushed me and sprained my ankle. He ran home freaking out and crying he felt so bad. I felt bad for him, he was obviously hurt worse than I was.

We moved to Kentucky a week after my tenth birthday. We lived with my Sissy Lynn, she’s my great aunt, I’m not sure why we call her sissy but we do. We lived with her, her husband and two kids for about a year. We had so much fun on that farmhouse. Me and Dee became best friends fast. We used to stay up all night and play a game we made, We changed our names, the way we looked, our siblings,and I was married to Nick Jonas. We got in trouble all the time because we would stay up until it was time for school the next morning. We all used to go on hikes and pick persimmons. We had a barn that no one used and a chicken coop too that Eric make into a clubhouse type thing. Our parents did drugs hard core at this point and me and dee were the oldest so we took care of the house and things.

We moved into my grandmas house with my uncle, It was so bad. My uncle is just a terrible person in general. His favorite thing to say is “‘you will do what I say, I’m Lord, God, and Master”. I don’t really know why he got to act like that with no consequences. He used to make us sit and eat things we hated just for his entertainment. We weren’t allowed to play with my cousin’s toys because for some reason she was also god. But really she was just a class A bitch. She used to hit us and kick us, she stabbed my brother with a fork in the head and scratched him hard enough to draw blood she was just ridiculous and she got away with it, we just had to take it because that was the only place we had to stay. My dad was on drugs so bad at this point and he wasn’t working so all we had was mom and my aunt’s fast food paycheck to live on. That was supposed to take care of 9 people and roughly 15 dogs and support two drug addictions. My dad did pills and heroin and my uncle did crack and pills, and everyone smoked weed. We eventually convinced my grandma that my deserved his inheritance so we could get our own place to live, we moved down the road from them into a house that had no running water, we had to pack it from the creek by the five gallon buckets full. By we I mean me and my mom. My sister is extremely mean and lazy at this point and she would literally be beaten than get up and help with anything. My dad’s drug addiction took over and us kids were left in the dust. My parents sold our food stamps and we went hungry, I made sure that my brothers and my sister always had something in their stomachs, we ate mainly at school and we lived on the food bags my brothers brought home from school. I fed the dogs whatever I could because they didn’t always have dog food. My uncle used to come and get us when we were home alone and take us to his house so we could shower and get a warm meal. I took care of my siblings the best that I could. When my parents were home they weren’t nice. My mom was so exhausted from work and drugs, and my dad was just so fucking evil because of his addiction. At this point I have no idea what happened to them. But my uncle was just as bad off as they were. When we came over he made fun of how much we ate,we were starving. I couldn’t handle being called fat, I started making myself puke after I ate because I didn’t was to be fat but I wasn’t even eating enough to matter so I was very unhealthy. My aunt had found out that she was pregnant with twins, but one had died so she just had one baby now, she would later be my best friend.My sister pulled a knife on me and my mom freaked out and beat her and then she ran off to the bridge down the street and threatened to jump. She was extremely suicidal. My brothers were always fighting, every time that they fought I got whipped. I just didn’t know what to do anymore.

My dad had just got out of prison and he was on the run, we went to my grandmother’s and they talked about how they couldn’t financially take care of us anymore and stuff like that while we were visiting my Sissy Lynn. Two weeks later CPS started hunting for us they showed up at my uncle’s door while we were there and we hid for hours. While they bangged on the door and looked through the windows, we just layed on the floor crying and hiding hoping that they wouldn’t see us, My dad hushing us and telling us it was going to be okay, he didn’t care if they took us, he just didn’t want to go to jail, in my opinion.They finally left, but they came back on the last day of school. We got taken away and my uncle got arrested for cultivating marijuana he had over 120 pot plants in our closet and bathtub. My grandma had an hour to make a two hour trip or we were going into foster care. She made it though. As much as I wish she would have never came she did. My grandmother and I were extremely close, she had me while my mom finished school and my dad worked, and when my mom worked, we went on road trips and she bought me things and took me to her work with her and let me play with truck drivers and other people from the area. I was the angel baby. My grandma took all six of her grandkids back to Prestonsburg with her and after a few days we went back to the house we were taken away from. They had to extremely clean the house, not that it was dirty it just reeked of weed and the carpet was stained so they had to rip it up. but while I was at my grandma’s I met the love of my life, Dalton. I don’t have anything for him now but he was there for me when I needed him the most. He helped me straighten my eating habits up and tried to help me see that my dad was just lost and he needed help. He also made me smile and take my mind off of what was happening. We started dating and at first it was just so much love. I had never opened up to someone as much as I had opened up to him. His mother hated me, along with most of the rest of his family. I actually got snowed in there once and it was literally hell. That should say something coming from me just because of some of the shit I’ve been through. That was probably the worst thing ever. I was 100 miles away from home snowed into Satan’s house. I cried to go home everyday. It was the worst thing. I had to sleep in a toddler bed without Dalton and it was just so bad I hated it so much. After they got their kids back they moved out to some trailer and I didn’t really get to see my best friend all that much. I raised all the kids though. if you ask all of them they will tell you that I took care of them and I loved all of them and I would do anything for them, My best friend thought I was her mom. it was sad but it was because her mom worked her ass off everyday while her dad was a piece of shit that did crack and slept on the couch. My grandmother got full custody of us, my parents ran to Ohio so they wouldn’t have to go to jail.

For four years we only saw them on my brother’s birthday’s and random occasions. but no more that six or seven times. Me and Dalton had been dating for a few years so he came to my house and was staying with me before he went off to boot camp for the Marines when my parents showed up. My dad went to jail that day and my mom stayed with us until he got out which was just two days. Dalton cheated on me quite a few times but I stayed with him because it was so hard to find someone that could love me with all my flaws and baggage. When he went into the marines he did great for two years and then he cheated on me with my best friend. Like the closest friend the I had since I was 10. So I lost two people that Christmas. By May I had forgiven them both, it was my senior year and I didn’t want to graduate high school without my best friend. I got taken away from my grandmother in September because my sister got pregnant and felt “unsafe” in the home, really she just wanted to live with her boyfriend. We went into the foster system for almost a month. I was still trying to take care of everyone else. I missed my house. I missed my dogs, my clothes, my bed. I missed my life. I just wanted to be happy, that's all I ever wanted. We got to go home finally and a few months after that is when I found out that Shania and Dalton had been cheating on me. It got really rough. I was at an all time low, I didn’t understand how you could do that to someone that had so much love for both of them. But I did forgive them because it hurt me more than it hurt them for me to hate them. I lost myself. But I found someone better, stronger, wiser, and more loving than ever. I found confidence and purpose within myself. For the next year I took the time I needed to heal. I started working and going to college.

My sister got married and my parents moved back into my grandma’s house. My uncle and aunt moved over to our old house. they fixed the pipes and stuff so they had running water, they lived there and got divorced there too. My uncle moved back in with us and my aunt got a trailer down the road so I got to see Laurna more. We all fought alot. My uncle moved to Ohio about a year later and starting working for the first time in years like 20 years. He sold my dad’s inheritance, a piece of land that was worth almost 60,000 dollars for almost 20,000 but the man he sold it to went to the man who owned it before us and decided to go through him because the paperwork wasn’t filed right after my dad had bought it. We ended up getting 13,000 dollars for 60,000 dollars worth of property, and we didn’t get to get our things out of the trailer we used for storage. They burnt it down. Everything that happened was extremely illegal, my uncle could have got so many years in prison, but my grandmother would file charges on him because he threatened to kill her and get all of the kids, just my brothers taken away and put into foster care and threatened to have her put in jail for selling her pain medication. Which she only did so she could feed my brothers.

My parents tried to help take care of my brothers but it didn’t work that way. My dad was trying to get clean but he had warrants out for his arrest. He was a master at running from the police, he’d done it off and on my whole life. One night he was picking me and a friend of mine up from work and he was speeding and driving without a license like he always did and we all got pulled over. My dad had heroin and some kind of pill on him. He handed me the syringes and gave my 12 year old brother the pill. He said that it was just an antibiotic, which is possible since his teeth were rotten. He told him to “put it in his nuts” and told me to but the syringes in my bra. He did that knowing that I was going to college so I could be a teacher and make something of myself. He did that knowing that i was 19 years old and if I was searched and they found that on me I’d go to jail and lose the life that I was trying so hard to build. He did that knowing that if they searched my brother they would take him away from the only family he ever really knew. He did that because he is selfish. Because him going to jail is more important than the life that his daughter is trying to build for herself. He was selfish enough to almost take that away from her. Luckily, we weren't searched. My dad went to jail that night and my friend drove my grandma’s car home.

That night the same friend also professed his undying love to me. I didn’t feel the same but we were still friends.I had been talking to my now boyfriend at the time and I just didn’t like him like that. I quit my job because the manager kept asking me why i wouldn’t date him, and what was wrong with him, he would tear down the guy I was talking to, it just got old fast. The guy I was talking to went to school with the guy I worked with, he knew he was going to do what he did. The guy I was talking to had just got out of a relationship with someone that he had been with for about three years, she was his first girlfriend, first everything really. He still loves her to this day. Jacob (the guy I worked with) used to come to my house in the middle of the night and we would go to walmart and the waffle house at like three in the morning. I liked being his friend. He quit Pizza Hut and started working with my mom at Arby’s and he didn’t have a car so I used to take him to work. So we stayed friends. But me and my boyfriend got serious, I was staying with him and not hanging out with Jacob so he started getting jealous and after a few weeks he quit his job at Arby’s and went to some bar to work. He is still there. As soon as he quit he stopped talking to me. He blocked me and just dropped me like I was nothing. If I ever saw him somewhere I would punch him in the face and tell him how fucking terrible he is. I tried so hard to be his friend and it wasn’t my fault that he wanted more. I never lead him on or gave him false hope.

I started staying with my boyfriend and his mom a lot more and just kind of moved in over time. His mom treats me so good, Like I’m one of her own. It gets a little weird sometimes because all through school I was really good friends with his brother so his mom sometimes unintentionally crosses lines. She has good intentions though. he still helps his ex though, I try to be understanding but worry and doubt get the best of me. We’ve been going good for a year now, he’s really helped me see that my family isn’t my responsibility anymore. I still see them, but no where near as much as I used to. He’s helped me become more self aware, I guess you could say. We bicker but I really think that I might be able to love him, truly love him someday. I think if I let myself love him it would be the greatest love I’ve been able to experience. Unfortunately neither of us are ready for that just yet, but we are both on our way there. We still have alot to learn about eachother and alot to work on personally before we can love each other, the right version of each other anyway. The person we want and need to be.

My sister’s baby is two. My brothers still live with my grandmother. My mom left my dad after 21 years of being together. I couldn’t be happier for her, My dad abused her and treated her horribly most of my life. She has a new boyfriend now and he is great. My dad is going to prison for two years. My grandma and my uncle are plotting against my mom. Trying to sell her car out from under her. Legally they can’t but I’m sure they will find a way to get away with it. I am still going to college and living with my boyfriend. Dalton is stationed in California. Shania had a beautiful baby boy and she is a stripper at a club. Jacob is still working at a bar. Laurna is 6 now and she moved three and a half hours away but she has a great life and comes to visit when she can.

Here it is, my story. You know everything about my life, but you still know nothing about me. Just remember that before you judge someone.